#it's also very fun that since sif is the only one who keeps levels while looping the more loops they go through the closer they get to

[junonreactor]

yaay

[twh-news]

[For you who decide to start ranting in the notes without reading: it's officially canon.]

TLDR:

Even more so than Loki just realizing he is capable of loving someone other than himself, Loki is finally willing to accept himself and all his flaws. “I don't think Loki's relationship with himself has been very healthy,” Tom Hiddleston explains. “Trying to accept those aspects of himself, which he's been on the run from, was a way of thinking about that in a really interesting way. Also, Sylvie's not Loki. Sylvie is Sylvie. That's interesting, too. I'm really excited to see what people make of it.”

“Two variants of the same being, especially you, forming this kind of sick twisted romantic relationship? That’s pure chaos! That could break reality. It’s breaking my reality right now! What an incredible seismic narcissist! You fell for yourself!”

That’s what Mobius practically yells at Loki in the latest episode of Marvel Studios’ Loki. In trying to get to the bottom of what caused the Nexus Event on Lamentis-1, Mobius starts asking questions and prodding the God of Mischief in just the right way to get a confession out of him, without Loki actually confessing to anything. After putting the pieces together from Loki’s context cues, Mobius arrives at the only logical conclusion: Loki’s fallen for the other Variant, aka Sylvie. “You like her! Does she like you?” teases Mobius.“

That was one of the cruxes of my pitch [for the series], that there was going to be a love story,” head writer Michael Waldron explains to Marvel.com. “We went back and forth for a little bit about, like do we really want to have this guy fall in love with another version of himself? Is that too crazy? But in a series that, to me, is ultimately about self-love, self-reflection, and forgiving yourself, it just felt right that that would be Loki's first real love story.”

Loki and Sylvie’s love story has an apocalyptic beginning since that’s where the two first begin to bond. Trapped on a moon on the verge of total destruction, the two are forced to work together to find a way out of this situation, only to have it completely fail before their eyes. Feeling defeated, Sylvie wonders if Lokis are always destined to lose?

Loki reassures her that while they might lose, they don’t die — they survive. He goes on to call Sylvie “amazing” for how she almost took down the TVA on her own, and it’s clear from the look on his face that even though they’ve only been together a short while, Loki’s already come to admire and respect her. As the moon literally crumbles around them, Sylvie places a hand on Loki’s arm, and that’s when it happens: A branch on the Sacred Timeline. These two Lokis are having a moment they were never supposed to have, which as Mobius puts it, is “pure chaos.”

“The look that they share, that moment, [it started as] a blossoming friendship,” continues Waldron. “Then for the first time, they both feel that twinge of, ‘Oh, could this be something more? What is this I'm feeling?’ These are two beings of pure chaos that are the same person falling in love with one another. That's a straight-up and down branch, and exactly the sort of thing that would terrify the TVA.”

Thankfully this branch also leads to the two variants being located on Lamentis-1; unfortunately, their rescue leads to them immediately thrown into captivity at the TVA.

But what happened on Lamentis-1 clearly affects both of them in different ways, with Loki slowly coming to grips with the fact that he does have feelings for Sylvie — even though she’s “difficult, irritating, and tries to hit [him] all the time.”

This is only made more pronounced after Loki finds himself trapped in a time loop with Lady Sif back on Asgard shortly following his past-self committing a cruel prank and cutting off her hair. Sif not only beats him up (and rightfully so), but tells him many times, “You deserve to be alone and you always will be.” For the first time, Loki realizes he doesn’t want to be alone, and that there might be someone out there for him, who he can connect with on another level.

Even more so than Loki just realizing he is capable of loving someone other than himself, Loki is finally willing to accept himself and all his flaws. “I don't think Loki's relationship with himself has been very healthy,” Tom Hiddleston explains. “Trying to accept those aspects of himself, which he's been on the run from, was a way of thinking about that in a really interesting way. Also, Sylvie's not Loki. Sylvie is Sylvie. That's interesting, too. I'm really excited to see what people make of it.”

As Mobius notes, it might just be a case of extreme narcissism, but it also makes complete sense for the character.

“Who’s a better match for Loki than himself?” director Kate Herron chimes in. “The whole show is about identity. It's about him, and he is on a very different path, and he is on a different journey. He sees things in Sylvie that he is like, ‘Oh, I've been there. I know what you feel.’ But she's like, ‘Well, I don't feel that way.’ And I think that was the kind of fun thing about it. She is him, but she's not him. They've had such different life experiences. So just from an identity perspective, it was interesting to dig into that.”

“When Loki meets Sylvie, he's inspired solely by curiosity,” reveals Hiddleston. “He wants to talk to her and understand her and try to discern what was similar about their experiences, and what was different. He keeps asking her questions because he wants to see if his experience was also her experience. I think he realizes, and she realizes, that while they're the same, they're not the same.”

Herron was careful setting up this relationship. “It was just about giving it the space to breathe and digging into it in a way that felt earned,” she explains.

Considering partnerships are 50/50, credit has to be paid to Sophia Di Martino, taking on the role of Sylvie and becoming someone who can match Loki’s own energy and chaos.

"I think something that Sophia captured really beautifully is that she’s in a different space,” continues Herron. “She's almost where Loki was in Thor in some ways where she's dealing with a lot of pain. For different reasons, obviously. It was really interesting having her in a different headspace of a different Loki.”

When production was shut down at the start of the pandemic, Herron kept working, putting together what had already been filmed. She realized that “there were tonally some things that were coming to the surface” between Loki and Sylvie that she could explore deeper.

“As we were cutting it together in the studio, everyone was, ‘Oh, this [relationship] is really cool. Let's dig into that more,’" shares Herron. “When we went back to filming, we added or tweaked scripts basically to [emphasize it].”

[hellyeahheroes]

Building Rikki Barnes in D&D 5e

I will confess something. lately D&D has been a kind of comfort hobby for me, in wake of all this fucking madness around us that is this year. This includes these builds but also my campaign that I just wrapped up and before I kick off with a sequel I felt like doing some celebration with blog-related content. So I decided - let’s build a character I planned to build on Pride Month but didn’t manage to. One funky, gun-toting, shield-wielding, dimension-hopping immortal lesbian.

As always, credit to Tulok the Barbarian from whom I lifted the teamplate for those builds and like him we will start with Goals for the build. First of all, we need to fight like someone who studied under not one, not two but dozens of Captain Americas across the worlds. Second, we need to have knowledge and skills like someone who lived all kinds of lives, picking up all she learned along the way. Finally, we need to be able to use both shield and a gun in accord.

For Ability Scores we will stick to Standard Points Array - 15, 14, 13, 12, 10, and 8 - but if you want to roll, use points buy or other form of generating abilitty scores, go ahead and treat these as guidelines. Keep your Charisma and either Strength or Desterity at at least 13 for multiclassing purposes.

Strength: 15, say it after me RIKKI. IS. BUFF!

Dexterity: 14, your armor varied from short-shorts to what would pass for a leather armor and you have no problem jumping from one rooftop to another to catch-up with your Spider-Girlfriend.

Constitution: 12, you’re not as tough as Toro, but you can still take a hit.

Intelligence: 10, wish it was higher but we cannot have everything

Wisdom: 8,remember that time you didn’t recognize main universe counterpart of your brother is into you and didn’t recognize guy replacing Steve as Cap is your own grandfather?

Charisma: 13, say what you want but Rikki knows how to pick up girls.

Race: Rikki is a human, we will stick with Varian Human because we need a feat but Revenant Human could work as well if you want to go into technicalities about her ressurections. Variant Humans get +1 to two Abilitty Scores, boost up Strength and Dexterity, a bonus Skill, pick History and a feat. Pick a Soldier for a background since this is closest we get to “trained by most American American to ever American and reborn across the multiverse to do it again”. It gives you proficiency in Athletics and Intimidation, land vehicles if you want to borrow grandpa’s bike and a gaming set. Military Rank feature let’s you be recognzied as a fellow veteran by other soldiers who may be more letient to your requests. You lead two superhero teams so that adds up.

Shield Master will be our feat of chocie and we need to talk about it because it gives you not one but three fun features: 

It let’s you add a bonus from your Shield to your Armor Class to any saving throws against spells and other harmful effects as long as they target only you. The way it is written means you could technically cover your eyes with shield when someone tries to hypnotize you, which is very much how I imagine members of Captain America Family (Cap Family?) dealing with mind-control.

If you take an attack action on your turn, you can use your bonus action to try to shove a creature within 5 feet from you with your shield. Shoving is normally an action that forces the target, say Bob Agent of Hydra, to make Athletics or Acrobatics check against your Athletics. If Bob fails (and he will because it’s Bob), he is either pushed 5 feet away from you or knocked prone. Maybe that will make him realize he needs a better job than fucking nazis.

It also let’s you use your reaction to cover with your shield if you are subjected to an effect that demands you make a saving throw to take half damage or full damage if you don’t, like for example FUCKING FIREBALL. With your shield up if you do make that saving throw you’ll take no damage. This is a bit weaker version of Evasion, a feature Rogues and Monks get at 7th level. Meaning that you will spend that many levels making them horribly jealous.

Speaking of Rogues, guess what we’re NOT picking for out Class. Instead we go with...

1st Level: Fighter! You gain proficiency with all Armors, shields, simple and martial weapons, Strength and Constitution saving throws, and two skills, I’d go with Acrobathics and Perception. You gain Second Wind, letting you recover as a bonus action 1d10+your fighter level of HP. Rikki is determined enough to chase the Maker across worlds and hit points can reflect will to fight. 

You also get fighting style - unarmed Fighting lets you deal 1d6+your Strength modifier on your Unarmed Attacks, 1d8 if you use both hands (or do a dropkick I pressume) and if you grapple a creature, you can deal 1d4 damage when you innitiate it succesfull and then on future hits while grappling.

2nd Level: Fighter gets Action Surge, letting you once per short or long rest take an extra action during your turn.

3rd Level: Fighter gets to chosoe a Martial Archetype: Battle Master gainst a proficiency with Artisan’s tool of your choice but moe importantly, gains Combat Superiority. You Gain 3 Maneuvers that are fueled by your Superiority Dice - which at this level are 4 d8s. When you use a Maneuver you spend Superiority Dice, you get them back after a short or long rest. If those effects ask for a saving throw, it must beat 8 Your Proficiency Bonus + either your Strength or Dexterity modifier.

Bait and Switch let’s you switch places with an ally within 5 feets of you without provoking Opportunitty Attacks and until the start of your next turn that ally adds result of your Superiority Dice roll to their Armor Class. Julie power can overextend herself easily, this will keep her safe.

Sweeping Attack let’s spend one Superiorirty die when you hit an opponnent in meele to try to also hit another one within 5 feet of it - if the original attack roll was high enough to beat its AC you deal it damage equal your roll on Superiority Dice. So when ypu kick Red Skull you can also carry your kick toreach Crossbones as well, breaking two jaws with your heel in one strike.

Brace let’s you spend your reaction to attack a target that moves within 5 feet of you and  add result to the damage if you hit. So if Sif tries to rush to help her father, you will deck her in the face without even having to look.

4th Level: Firghter gets an Abilitty Score Improvement or a Feat. We will pick Gunner from newest Unearthed Arcana for Feats. it let’s you add +1 to your Dexterity, gives you profficiency with firearms and let’s you ignore their loading quality, letting you shoot a gun for each of your attacks for a single turn and you don’t have disadvantage on an attack if you shoot a target within 5 feet of you..

Alternatives: Not every DM allows firearms in their setting. If that is the case the Crossbow Expert will do roughly the same for you. If you don’t like idea of Rikki with guns at all, then Crusher from the same Unearthed Arcana will let you push any target you hit with your fist and make attacks against them have an advantage for a turn whenever you crit on an attack. Martial Adept meanwhile can let you learn two more maneuvers and gain an extra Superiority Dice.

5th Level: Fighter can now attack twice on each turn attack action. Meaning You can in one turn roundhouse kicks Red Skull, use sweeping attack to carry that kick over to Crossbones, shoot Anirm Zola, knock Bob to the ground and use another Superiority Dice to deck Sin in the face if she comes to help her daddy on her turn. And that’s without using Action Surge and last Superiority Dice.

6th Level: Fighter gains another Abilitty Score Improvement. And you know what? Boost up your Strength.

7th Level: We have combat skills but what about other Skills? We can grab an extra one, like Stealth, by picking up a level of Bard. 1st Level Bards gain Bardic Inspiration, a set of 3 d6 dices you can give to your allies as a bonus action, letting them add it to an attack roll or a saving throw.

You also learn Bardic spells. You know a small number of those and spend spell slots to cast them. If your spell makes an attack roll, it does so with a bonus equal your Profficiency Bonus + Your Charisma modifier. Add to that bonus 8 and you get a number that has to be beaten if your spell reqires a saving throw.

You start knowing 2 Cantrips that you can always cast and 4 1st level Spells and have 2 1st level Spell Slots

Light is a flashlight you can use to make an object shine bright light in 30 feet and dim light in next 30 feet. Useful since you cannot see in the dark 

Message is a communicator, letting you send a short message to another creature and be able to receive equally short reply

Comprehend Languages let’s you understand any language you hear for 1 hour. Rikki lived many lives, she likely picked a few.

Heroism you can cast on yourself to show how brave you are or on an ally, cherring them up. until the spell ends the target has an advantage on saving throwsagainst being frightened and gains an extra temporary hit point at the start of each of your turns.

Identify let’s you use your vast knowledge of other worlds to recognize legendary or jsut enchanted effects or what spells are affecting a creature or an object. After all, you have seen it all.

Cure Wounds is a first aid kit, healing 1d8+1 hit points on you or another target

8th Level: 2nd Level Bards gain Jack of All Trades, letting you add half of your Proficiency modifier to all skills you are not profficient with. You also get Song of Rest, letting you let your commrades roll an extra 1d6 whenever tehy roll to regain hit points - as a soldier of many Battlefields makes sense you will be tending the wounds of your allies and rising their spirits between battles. You also get another spell known but we will exchange it for something else on next level.

9th Level: Bards of 3rd Level can pick bardic College. College of lore lets you gain 3 more Skills. Survival, Investigation and Insight feel msot in character. You also get Expertise, doubling your Proficiency Bonus, in two skills of your choice that you are profficient with, I’d go with Athletics to make sure you knock down all opponnents, and Stealth. Finally you learn cutting words - you can use your reaction and spend one of your Bardic Inspiration dices to say some bit of multiversal knowledge that distracts an enemy - you roll that dice and subtract the result from one attack roll or saving throw an enemy makes.

You also learn more spells, letting us to pick two 2nd level spells:

See Invisibility let’s you see invisible creatures and those on Etherial Plane like Ghosts or Phase Spiders. Play it as you being so experienced you learned to see such creatures coming.

Enchance Abilitty let’s you gain or grant someone else an advantage on all rolls related to choosen Abilitty. When you need an extra show of skill.

10th Level: 4th Level bards gain an Abilitty Score Improvement. Boost your Dexterity for more accurate guns and better AC. You also learn one more Spell and a new Cantrip:

Vicious Mockery forces a target to make a Wisdom saving throw or be dealt 2d4 psychic damage from your quip and have disadvantage on its next attack roll Knock let’s you open a single lock, be it on doors or containers.

11th Level: back to Fighter. 7th Level Battlemaster gains an addition Superiority Dice, Two more Maneuvers and can Know Your Enemy - if you study a creature for at least a minute you will learn if it is your superior, inferior or equal in any of the two:  Strength, Dexterity or Constitution score, Armor Class, Current hit points,Total class levels, if any or Fighter class levels, if any. Use it if you run into a black-clad silent Bat0themed girl from another dimension and btw Marvel, Dc I would pay gold for this fight to happen.

Our new Maneuvers will be:

Disarming Attack let’s you add a superiority dice roll to damage roll of your attack and force target to make a Strength saving throw or drop whatever they’re holding at the moment. Works with ranged attacks meaning you can shoot Cosmic Cube out of Red Skull’s hands.

Ambush let’s you spend a Superiority Dice to add the roll of it to a Stealth or Initiative roll

12th Level: 8th Level Fighter gains an Abilitty Score Improvement, get your Strength to 20 for better hits and better showing down the enemies.

13th Level: 9th Level Fighter gains Indomintable, letting you once per long rest reroll a failed saving throw. Including Death Saving Throws.

14th Level: 10th Levle Battlemaster improves their superiority dice to 1d10 and gains two more Maneuvers.

Riposte let’s you make an attack when a creature misses you with a meele attack you can use your reaction to make one attack against them and add roll of Superiority Dice to the damage.

Meanicing Attack let’s you spend a superiority dice to add it’s roll to damage dealt to a target and force them to make a Wisdom saving throw or be Frightened of you until end of your next turn.

15th Level; 11th Level Fighter can now make two extra attacks on each of attack actions. Meaning you can with Action Surge and your maneuvers shoot cosmic cube out of Red Skull’s hands, shoot Anirm Zola and Baron Zemo so hard the latter will not approach you out of fear, deliver roundhouse kick to Skull so hard you hit Crossbones too, knock down Bob and deck Sin in the jaw when she rushes to help her father.

16th Level: 12th Level Fighter gains an Ability Score Improvement, round up your Dexterity to 20 for better AC and more acurrate guns.

17th Level: 13th Level Fighter can use Indomintable twice per long rest. Meaning you are that much harder to kill and that more likely to survive fireballs from Onslaught.

18th Level: 14th Level Fighter gets another Abilitty Score Improvement. Boost up your Constitution for Better Concentration and mroe hit points (remember they add retroactively, giving you extra 18 HP at this level)

19th Level: 15th Level Battlemaster means two mroe maneuvers, one mroe Superiority Dice and now if you roll initiative on combat without any you regain one.

Rally lets you roll a Superiority Dice whenever you hit on an attack to give it’s result + your Charisma modifier as temporary hit points to another creature until end of your next turn.

Goading Attack also adds roll from Superiority Dice to damage dealt on attack and if Target fails a Wisdom saving throw, it has disadvantage on attacks against any other creature than you until end of your next turn. You know, i ncase Maker plans to blow you all up, make him punch you instead.

20th Level; We will finish with 16th Level of Fighter for one last Ability Score Improvement, investing either in Constitution for better hit points, or Charisma for better healing. Or picking a Tough feat to gain extra 40 hit points, which would be my preferred option.

Overview: My take on Rikki barnes is Battlemaster Fighter 16, College of Lore Bard 4. Let’s see how good this build is:

Pros: You can make a lot of attacks, making you excellent agaisnt crowds of mooks like Goblins or Hydra Agents. You have an answer for a lot of things an opponnent may do and several ways to control the battlefield to your advantage. You can also double as a skill-monkey, being skilled in enough things to make Rogue jealous. In fact, you basically are a discount Rogue, able to fill in for a lot of things Rogue would normally do. And you can heal too.If you have focused on your Constintution at the end you will also have pretty strong HP, maybe even up to 160-180 and with Shield Master or Indomintable it will be hard to hurt you as well.

Cons: Sadly, a lot of your abilitties compete for Bonus Action or Reaction, meaning you need to carefully consider what you will use each turn. You do nbot deal magic damage so a lot of late game enemeis will be resistant or immune to your hits un;ess DM gives you a magic gun. Finally, there is a big possibility you will burn out of your Superiority Dice early on, leaving you without many options later.

But you are still a valuable part of any team. Protect your allies, give them opennings to strike. Knock Bob down. Break Red Skull’s jaw. Just remember you need to rely on your teammates to survive - unless you want to be reborn in a different campaign.

-Admin

[pass-the-bechdel]

Marvel Cinematic Universe: Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

No.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Four (23.52% of cast).

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Thirteen.

Positive Content Rating:

Three.

General Film Quality:

Loads of fun, though tonally dissonant; works best on first viewing. Easily the superior film of the Thor franchise, though that’s not a huge achievement considering its predecessors.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

Sigh.

Female characters:

Hela.

Scrapper 142 (I know, she is credited as Valkyrie, but since the name is never used to address her in the film it doesn’t count by the rules of this blog; if she didn’t happen to be referred to by her scrapper number a few times, she wouldn’t count as a named character at all).

Topaz.

Natasha Romanoff.

Male characters:

Thor.

Surtur.

Skurge.

Loki.

Stephen Strange.

Odin.

Volstagg.

Hogun.

The Grandmaster.

Carlo.

Korg.

Bruce Banner.

Heimdall.

OTHER NOTES:

The use of Immigrant Song is my favourite thing about this movie, to be honest. I don’t mean that as an insult, it’s just such a good choice.

The inclusion of Doctor Strange in this film feels like a pointless misstep, a distraction at what is really a vital early point in establishing tone, especially considering this useless scene is what leads us in to...

...the literal death of Odin and introduction of Big Bad Hela, all of which should be emotional and intense and is instead flat and dissonant in the extreme. Watching this for the first time, I was very concerned that the whole film was just gonna end up gimmicky and soulless. While it does pick up, I was also not wrong about that early assessment.

Not that I was attached to Thor’s friends from the previous films, but they sure do just kill them off without fanfare, except for Sif who just doesn’t appear at all (logically, we should assume she dies off-screen, otherwise there’s no reason for her not to be up-front with Thor at the end of the movie). Fandral doesn’t even get a line in before he croaks, that’s how irrelevant these franchise-veteran characters are. Emotional engagement in plot and character is for chumps, anyway.

*whispers* Jeff Goldblum is here.

“Piss off, ghost!”

Hulk reveal is pretty solid, if you manage not to have been spoiled (a tall order, since it was in the promos).

Heimdall is still the MVP of the Thor franchise.

Can’t believe it took this long for any movie to squeeze some real fun and heart out of the Hulk character. This is way better than embarrassingly forcing a love match on him.

The valkyrie-battle memory is soooo good-looking.

This movie is too recent to be using the word ‘gypsy’...

Thor’s story about Loki pretending to be a snake when they were kids is the good shit.

But, Immigrant Song is still the most inspired choice of the film. Not sorry.

So, this is one of those movies which I felt was pretty over-hyped, to be honest. It is great fun, don’t get me wrong, it’s fresh and hilarious and subversive and way the Hell better than the previous Thor films, plus it has a great cast and strong visuals and they used Immigrant Song really effectively...but the tone of the film is an absolute fucking mess, the plotting is a shambles, and there’s nowhere near as much heart and weight underpinning it all as what there should be for a movie involving the near-total destruction of an entire civilisation. The majority of the movie is handed over to a shenanigan-heavy side-plot of no consequence to the central conflict, while the central conflict - LITERAL RAGNAROK - is relegated to a handful of scenes sprinkled across the film, obliterating any chance of it seeming meaningful or even particularly serious. The strongest point of the story is the final act, once Thor and company finally get to Asgard to confront Hela, but the narrative doesn’t earn that strong finish; it just goes to show how much more engaging the rest of the film could have been if they had stayed on track.

This is a big part of why this movie - while a delightful surprise on first viewing - doesn’t age particularly well on repeat; this was my fourth time through, and by the third quarter, as Sakaar draaaagged through its roster of jokes and pratfalls, my attention span was waning fast. Even if the entire garbage-planet sidebar was not distracting from what should have been a very serious main plot, I’m not sure it would remain engaging long-term, since it is rather spare and low on emotional/character investment; it’s not a pitfall of comedy that has to exist (heavily-emotional and/or dark comedies are definitely a real thing), but unfortunately, this is not a movie that is very interested in what has come before it, and it expresses that disinterest by neglecting any element of the established Thor mythology which might have brought this plot a sense of meaning. As such, rather than feeling like ‘the Thor movie that finally got it right’, it’s more like a reboot, with old characters unceremoniously ditched and any sense of purpose or import in old story threads or histories gone right alongside Asgard itself.

I’ve seen people praise this film for its ‘anti-Imperialism, anti-colonialism’ message, but I feel it’s a point weakly made onscreen; any depth to that argument would require a more sincere effort from the script in addressing those scant Asgard scenes, and as such, I feel that this element - though it isn’t completely wishful thinking - is much more in the eye of the beholder than it is a function of the narrative itself. The attempt to engage with any thoughtful discussion on Asgard’s legacy is a swift casualty of the film’s overall superficiality, just the same as the devastation of Asgard and the decimation of its population is blithely underplayed because, hey, Thor vs Hulk is worth way more attention than genocide, right? It’s that tonal dissonance in the two pieces of the plot which keeps me from really relaxing and enjoying the lightness, because that lightness is both excessive and out-of-place; I feel uncomfortable being asked to just shrug and go with it, I want to be emotionally involved and moved by the plight of the Asgardians, and instead I’m stuck watching Thor get a haircut and an eyeful of Hulk dick. Under almost any other circumstances, I would be all about a hard-comedy version of Thor, especially after the generic drudgery of the earlier installments in the franchise, but at the same time as Ragnarok? Not so much.

That said? This film is definitely not without quality. Comedic quality, for sure (anything with Taika Waititi’s name attached is worth a look), and there really are some great casting flourishes (though I maintain disappointment that the Asgard plot is so undersold, because it means Karl Urban and especially Cate Blanchett are under-utilised); for the interests of this blog, it’s that Scrapper 142 aka Valkyrie who forms the highlight (and she’s a worthy highlight without the context of this blog, too). Valkyrie’s drunk, angry sauntering and her snappy disregard for Thor’s righteous pontificating positions her within an archetype normally restricted to male characters only, too loose and unseemly for a female character, who might be found dislikeable and (horror of horrors) too sloppy to be sexy, whereas a man in the same archetype is funny, a ‘lovable asshole’, and the perception of his appearance is not tied up in his behaviour the same way nor is he under the same pressure to prioritise his appeal for the audience in the first place. Angry male drunkards who begrudgingly tag along with the protagonist in the end because they’re surly but not bad, those are a dime a dozen, but a woman in the same position? A rare gem indeed. And Valkyrie is more than just a fresh twist on an old cliche; her personality is grounded, it has a relatable simplicity (disillusionment with a side-order of survivor’s guilt), and there’s a confidence about the way she and the unspoken parts of her life are presented, without need to force a connection with Thor and his personal plight in order to justify Valkyrie’s actions or relevance to the plot. She’s an entirely self-contained character who could just as easily have the story to herself with no further mention of Thor et al., and that’s the hallmark of any well-constructed character: the ability to stand alone.

As a whole, this movie is far from bad - when I call it overrated, I am very much talking about the fact that it’s mostly a string of shenanigans with minimal narrative underpinning, and while that’s not a terrible thing in itself, I do think the hype around this movie implied that it had something more to offer than just laughs and a retro look. For me personally, the lack of emotional engagement and character stakes is close to a fatal flaw, and so while I enjoy this movie on a superficial level, it gives me nothing I need in order to really dig it (for others, obviously, this is not a problem). It always rubs me the wrong way to see something completely disavow previous chapters in the same story - there’s a big difference between developing an idea in a new direction, and simply ditching whatever you didn’t like about what came before - and I would have preferred to see this film make its changes with at least a modicum of respect for the foundations it is building upon (basic as the previous Thor films were, they weren’t catastrophic embarrassments). And yes, ultimately, the burying of the Ragnarok plot under a pile of Planet Garbage (feat. Jeff Goldblum) is just a little unforgivable in my mind, and it’s the first thing I think of whenever this film pops up; I really, really wish that Ragnarok were not part of this plot at all, that the Sakaar part of the story (i.e. the part that The Powers That Be were actually invested in, clearly) formed the bulk of the second film in the Thor franchise instead, since that movie basically sucked and took itself too seriously, and then the Thor film which took itself seriously could have been actually about Ragnarok. Basically, I wish that Marvel had gotten their shit together sooner rather than later with this part of the franchise, because while this worked out fine for them monetarily, narratively it’s just not a step I can get behind.

[langxue]

Avengers Endgame Initial Thoughts

Okay. I have some Thoughts about Endgame, most of them fairly critical. Also highly subjective. So here goes. Spoilers abound, for Endgame and other MCU content.

1. OMFG they completely wasted Captain Marvel.* In her own movie, Carol is a fairly laid back, adaptable, competent, and Silly person. She has a wonderfully casual charm and sarcasm that’s really fun to watch. She’s also a powerhouse, and by the end she definitely knows it. (Like seriously, she destroyed multiple of Ronan’s ships in under a minute. In GotG, it took a whole fleet just to slow one of them down, plus a team on the inside to blow it up. And then Carol’s just like “nah, you’re done now.”) And then you hit Endgame. And we have a stoic, closed off Captain Marvel, who shows up, talks a lot about how awesome she is, and then spends fucking 80% of the movie on a shelf on the justification that she’s helping other worlds that are also in trouble. Which is a fine justification to keep her away for some of the setup. But the heroes’ main plan is time travel. Which means it’s not time sensitive, and they keep making a big deal about only having one shot. Why, in that case, wouldn’t you wait until you could get Carol on your team?? Thor is a psychological mess. Keep him on the bench and bring in Carol. OR have her on hand to use the gauntlet after all the stones are collected. But no, they just went with “eh, we’re not sure how to contact her, so we’ll just skip over that option entirely.” So they wasted her character as a character with minimal interactions with the others, and zero of those interactions actually being in character (except maaaybe with Peter at the end, but that very much felt like two actors trying very hard with very little to work with), and then also wasted her as far as plot impact, opting for a heroic re-entrance most of the way through the movie.

2. The time travel felt extremely poorly explained, which is really bad when your plot completely hinges on it, and is especially bad if you’re gonna rag on other movies with time travel. Back to the Future is paradoxical nonsense, but it’s self-consistent paradoxical nonsense. Endgame was some kind of multiverse with zero clear understanding of how different timelines/realities could and could not interact with each other. I’m still trying to wrap my head around all of the possibilities and whether there actually is an internal logic, but at the very least, while watching the movie, it entirely felt like they were doing whatever they wanted to suit the plot. Which is a bad sign when dealing with time travel. (My general approach to time travel is that you either have to completely handwave it or completely explain it. And that explanation doesn’t have to be an info dump! It can just be apparent in the story itself, such as with Time-Turners. Though I personally don’t mind time travel info dump tbh.)

3. Relatedly, the secret to time travel is to model an inverted Möbius strip and get the eigenvector of that one particle there. I don’t think I’ve been that annoyed but technobabble in a long time. That’s math word salad, as far as I can tell (though I’m admittedly not a mathematician. If any mathematicians can clarify how this makes any sense, I’d appreciate it, but in the mean time, I’m going to assume it’s garbled nonsense.)

4. Still on time travel but I’m having one hell of a time figuring out Steve’s ending. Like, how can he do that within the confines of the time travel mechanics? Why wouldn’t he come back and spend that time with Bucky?? Since, you know, they’ve like barely spoken being reunited?? For Pete’s sake, don’t set up their bond like that, spend two full movies on the turmoil cause by Bucky’s return, and then just fucking drop the plot line on the floor because you wanted to stick Steve back with Peggy. What in the fuck.

5. IM. SO. MAD. ABOUT. GAMORA. (And also Natasha, though that’s a slightly different anger.) GAMORA’S DEATH WAS THE MOST BS THING IN INFINITY WAR AND WAS ALSO THE DEATH I WAS MOST CONCERNED THEY WOULDN’T CORRECT. AND GUESS WHAT. THEY DIDN’T. SHE’S STILL DEAD.** The soulstone mechanic can get Fucked, because Thanos should never have been able to get it like that (and relatedly, should Hawkeye have gotten it, since Natasha threw herself, rather than being sacrificed? I’m undecided, but mad either way).

6. Is Loki still dead? Was he ever dead? We just don’t know. If he is dead, that was an amazingly dumb end and I object. If he’s not dead, that is a dumb cliffhanger and I object.

7. I don’t love Thor + Guardians’ dynamic? It feels very off, and I can’t tell if that’s just because it’s Avengers and therefore all the characters have gotten slightly flattened or if it’s just an unappealing dynamic to me. But we already had Quill vs Rocket leadership tension. I don’t was more of that but with Thor. That’s dumb. I’m hoping that it gets more nuance/resolution going forward, but I’m not holding my breath.

8. Relatedly, why would you put Valkyrie in charge of Anything but a battle plan? Nothing I’ve seen of her makes me think she’s well suited to general leadership, and I think she’d chafe under it just as much as Thor does. She’s not the Responsible One to take things over so Thor can go have another finding himself adventure. Ffs.

9. Probably no one’s fault because actor contracts are complicated, but I’m still salty about Lady Sif being 100% absent and unacknowledged for this whole thing. Largely because I haven’t gotten to see her interact with Valkyrie OR Carol and I feel cheated.

10. Some quick minor things before I go on a big rant. It bothered me that Thor’s depression and poor coping was just a joke, basically just “Oh look he’s fat and scared now, isn’t that funny?” I’m so tired of Tony vs. Steve, and I hate that they waited until the last fucking movie to sort of kind of resolve it. You don’t get to pull on found family heartstrings and tropes when you’ve done such a bullshit job of actually showing us a family. You’ve had 20-odd movies to do so. Do better.

11. Okay. I like battle scenes. They’re fun! They’re dramatic! If done correctly, they can give a very tangible sense of odds and stakes. But. Not every movie with high stakes needs a big final battle.

Okay, to clarify a bit, I’m specifically referring to army vs. army battle scenes here. Big punch outs between titans, or scrambling to minimize damage from a disaster are different, and have their own applications and pitfalls. All clear? Great.

Battles, with two armies facing off against each other in fronts, look cool, but fundamentally make no sense in the context of Endgame. Battle lines exist so that you have not very many people actively fighting at once, and so that you can protect the people next to them. When the frontline gets tired, they rotate back and others take over. Battles are not the same thing as skirmishes and they are not mass melees. If a battle turns into a mass melee, something has gone very wrong and you should in all likelihood pull back immediately to regroup.

All of this breaks down when you have an opponent who can break up or ignore your battle lines. Historically, this was artillery and guns—things that forced battles into a cover-based issue. In superhero movies, it’s... pretty much every character of note.

Thor’s lightning —> broken battle line

Black Panther’s suit discharge —> broken battle line

Falcon attacking from above —> pointless battle line

Wanda or Carol doing... anything —> pointless battle line

All of Thanos’ many flying troops —> pointless battle line

Thanos’ warship overhead —> what are you doing pls stop this

All of which is to say that traditional battle tactics don’t apply to this conflict. But the battle we’re shown doesn’t reflect that, and it feels very... weird as a result. Where who’s winning is entirely arbitrary, rather than any kind of steady build.

This tends to lead to a very episodic battle, where you show off individual characters or small groups of characters fighting. Which is fine, though contributes to battle progress being unclear. But there’s a temptation then to give everyone equal levels of badassery in their vignettes, and I think that’s a mistake. The avengers et all are a complementary group. They have members suited to a battle field and members that aren’t. That isn’t to say that Hawkeye and Black Widow can’t hold their own, but their skill sets aren’t specialized for something like this, and so any attempt to make them seem equal in this way is going to either fall flat or cheapen the battle suited heroes’ specialty.

And this tendency to level the field of badassery can also lead to situations where Okoye is backing up Carol for a charge, and I just.... gah. I love Okoye. So much. Carol does not need her help to rush a group of enemies. Carol doesn’t need help from any of the women who showed up behind her except for maybe Scarlet Witch. I get what they were going for. I get that it was supposed to be a Girl PowerTM moment. It wasn’t. It was dumb. It was so very much the wrong time for that moment, because this was not a context where Carol needed help. She just flew through a spaceship. She can fly through some enemies no problem. And it’s probably easier if she’s not worried about her allies getting caught in the blast. And then they had to make the backup team useful, so they made Carol struggle in a moment where she just shouldn’t have. You don’t get points for Girl PowerTM if you have to de-power one of your women just to make it make sense. Give me more scenes with Gamora and Nebula helping each other through Thanos’ abuse. Give me scenes with Carol and Okoye bonding over putting up with impractical people. Don’t give me this battle scene bullshit, I don’t want it.

11. I remain pissed off that there are no actually articulated arguments against Thanos’ fucking stupid plan. What the actual fuck, this is not that hard. 

Okay. Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, some things I actually really liked.

1. Steve wielding Mjolnir was fucking amazing and I’m so pleased.

2. Any time Scott was on screen.

3. Peter Parker is a precious child and he needs to be protected.

4. I actually really like the set up for the time travel nonsense, and I liked that they seemed to be doing something other than a mass melee battle. That the group was divided into manageable teams, and sent on different kinds of missions that required them to be clever and play to their different strengths and help each other through. And then they shoved in a giant battle anyway, because fuck you that’s why.

5. I can appreciate what they were trying to do in giving all of the non-returning Avengers decent send-offs, even if I didn’t like some of those conclusions.

6. There were some genuinely funny moments, but I’m struggling to recall them right now.

7. Oh wait! “It’s an earthquake in the middle of the ocean. We handle it by not handling it.” That one was great.

Okay, that’s all for now. I might have more later, once I’ve picked apart the time travel a bit more and dined some processing.

I think it’s also worth noting that like... ensemble movies with a cast this big are *hard.* character are going to end up feeling confined, and there’s less time to grow because there’s just less time per character. But I think we could’ve had better, and I think if they focused more on group growth in the group movies instead of just drama, then they would’ve been in a better place and had a better story.

It’s probably also worth noting that I really liked Thor: Ragnarok, really like Captain Marvel and really didn’t like Infinity War. So I sort of went into Endgame feeling like it had to make up for Infinity War and live up to the higher at from the recent solo movies. And I really wanted to like it. I really wanted them to pull it off. But those are high and fairly specific standards, and so they fell quite short.

*This should be taken with a grain of salt, because I’d been dreading Endgame as an obligation to watch, and the Captain Marvel movie was the only thing that sparked my interest again. And then Endgame massively dropped the ball as far as I’m concerned.

** there was some stuff at the very end that makes me wonder if there’re plans to still bring her back in a later movie. But it doesn’t change me call bullshit on everything that Infinity War/Endgame has done to her.

[textsfromumbridge]

sweet dreams are made of this (who am I to disagree)

Belated bday fic for the amazing @hihiyas, who asked for sharing a bed and mutual pining, and since I sometimes live in a bed-sharing fic myself, I had to do this. 

Hon, I know it’s a week late, and maybe it’s a little all over the place, but I love you and you deserve all the fics because you’re an awesome friend and I’m lucky to have you. *HUGGLES*

ZERO

When she met Gabriel Enjolras for the first time, she never expected him to eventually become her friend, let alone the person she would secretly refer to as her best friend.

Neither of them made a great first impression when Marius introduced them. He was distant - not good with new people - which made her think of him as an elitist prick. It took them a good long while to get over those first impressions.

It didn’t help that they were both stubborn as fuck - neither was willing to make the first move towards reconciliation.

Marius once claimed they’d make him prematurely gray. As if, the dork would be a ginger forever, probably.

So, yeah, the so-called Enjonine friendship (thanks for that Courfeyrac) took a while to reach peak potential. They spent a few months hating each other’s guts - and then they all went to see a Thor movie and Eponine spent the next week talking about Lady Sif and Darcy Lewis. For some reason that made Enjolras realize she wasn’t all bad - well, she was kind of glad that her appreciation for seriously awesome female characters got through to him.

One group movie hang-out turned into weekly movie nights with just Enjolras on his couch, watching everything from PBS documentaries to cliched rom-coms. He always had something to say about everything, whether it was the underlying themes of LGBT+ rights in the X-men movies or an in depth discussion of the politics of girl world after watching Mean Girls (he had no idea how much realism was in that movie).

A few months went by just like that, and she started becoming comfortable with calling him her friend, instead of just referring to him as a friend of a friend. Azelma joked about being proud her big sister actually made a friend for once, and Eponine flipped her off.

That was real sisterly love, honestly.

She showed her appreciation for Enjolras’ friendship much the same way: by making fun of him all the damn time. Of his need to use punctuation and spelling properly in every damn text - honestly, abbreviations were just so much easier (and so much faster!). She teased him about his overly formal clothing - trying to goad him into wearing jeans and a t-shirt at least once.

Well, that one definitely came back to bite her in the (amazing, thanks so much) ass.

He showed up on her birthday in tight jeans and a fucking Hamilton t-shirt that appeared to be slightly too small on him.

She had her first naughty dream about him that very night. She tried to tell her lady bits about friendship without benefits, but they definitely weren’t having that.

And so the terrible, awful years of pining began.

ONE

The first time they sleep in the same bed it is purely convenience and about 99% awkwardness. Maybe even the full 100%.

A storm is hitting the city, and she is still over at his place at 11 PM. Public transport has given up on navigating through the pouring rain and hail and strong gusts of wind. She needs to get home, but there is absolutely no way that her dork friend is going to let her leave his apartment.

Yeah, the great Enjolras is also a grade A dork - she wants to tell all her friends.

“I’m sorry I don’t have a guest room,” he actually apologizes. “I really don’t want to make you uncomfortable, so I’ll sleep on the floor, or the couch.”

Oh yes, surely the tiny couch will be comfortable for this six feet tall specimen. He is going to fuck up his back so bad - she doesn’t want that on her conscience. And really, she’d sleep in the same bed as Cosette, so why would it be that much weirder if it’s Enjolras?

“Don’t be an idiot,” she tells him for the umpteenth time.

He waits patiently to hear what he’s being moronic about this time - she’s taught him well over the past few years. It’s weird, but here’s this guy who actually listens to everything that she has to say - even when she’s teasing him, but especially when she is completely serious about something.

She calls the shots most of the time - and he doesn’t get offended, and he even changes his behavior when she thinks he’s genuinely being an asshole.

“You’re not sleeping on that chair you call a couch,” she finally continues, rolling her eyes at him. “You will fall off in the middle of the night and hurt yourself. Just get in bed with me. It’s only weird if we make it weird.”

It’s so mature of her, honestly people might be surprised.

Enjolras however, is not surprised at all - well, he might be surprised they will be sharing a bed, but he’s never surprised at her level-headedness.

Oh, this crush is definitely getting way out of hand.

Minutes later, they lie awake together, side by side. She’s almost afraid to breathe too loudly, not wanting to bother him more than she already is - he’s probably half asleep already and she does not want to wake him.

So she stays completely still, muscles tensed, listening to the rain hit the bedroom window with an alarming volume.

“This is ridiculous,” Enjolras mutters in the dark of his bedroom. “Why is this so awkward?”

Eponine breathes out a little huff of a laugh. Thank God he feels it too.

TWO

The first time was weird and terrifying, he has to admit that much. Suddenly there was this person all up in his personal space. He woke up a few times that night because there was someone breathing next to him, and that one time she accidentally touched him he almost couldn’t go back to sleep.

It was just her leg bumping his, but it has been so long since there was someone close enough to touch. Has he ever really shared a bed like this, just sleeping?

And of course it’s Eponine. She’s started to mean way too much to him in a matter of months - and now it’s been years. If he were to talk about his feelings towards her with people, they might even call it pining. He hates that word, but he knows it’s accurate.

She’s funny, and empathetic, and so much smarter than anyone knows. And sometimes he just gets distracted thinking about what it would be like if he just leaned in and kissed her - she would probably hit him.

But still she lets him sleep in her bed.

This time the reason is less clear than the previous time - there is no storm, and it’s not even all that late. This time, he is just hanging out with her on a Friday night, and since they have standing plans for Saturdays, Eponine decides that he might as well sleep over instead of going all the way to his just to sleep.

He could never say no to that.

“At least we’ve figured out you don’t snore,” she tells him.

She’s changing into her pajamas in the bathroom, and he’s already in her bed, dressed in just his boxers - he’ll need his gym clothes tomorrow for the dance class they’re taking. He mentions one time how he likes to dance and she just runs with it.

“You get cuddly,” he blurts out.

Last time, he woke up with her arm wrapped around him - they have both been pretending that it never happened, but that can’t last forever. Especially not because he likes it a little too much.

“At least you won’t get cold,” Eponine steps out of the bathroom.

She seems to favor sleep shorts and a tanktop, and it is wreaking havoc on his nerves. Her long, bare legs possibly tangling with his under her soft sheets… And he’s only wearing boxers - he made sure to wear a shirt last time, even though he hates wearing clothes to bed. This is his normal sleepwear, and it’s scary.

“Won’t you get cold?” he makes it a point not to look at her too much.

“Says the guy wearing just boxers,” she responds quickly.

He runs hot, he knows that much, but any comment on it might take this night to a whole new level of awkwardness. So he just murmurs agreeably and pointedly does not watch her climb into bed next to him.

“Good night,” he whispers.

He knows he’s blushing in the darkness of her room.

“Good night,” she returns.

She sounds like she’s smiling.

THREE

It’s making them closer outside of the bedroom too.

He seems much more casual about his personal space, comfortable with her leaning into him a bit on his tiny sofa. She can poke him teasingly and he doesn’t even flinch away from her touch.

They have never been the touchy-feely kind of friends before, and people are noticing. Both Cosette and Chetta have asked her if she’s fucking him yet - she never even told them about the stupid crush and how hot he looks in just boxers.

She gets to see him in most states of dress and undress - he doesn’t bother changing in a separate room when she’s already seen him in his underwear. Maybe soon she’ll follow that lead, when she isn’t dreaming about how he’ll react when he sees her in her best underwear - she’ll be prepared next time so she’s actually wearing her best underwear.

Because once again she is not prepared to stay at his. Sure, she has a pair of emergency panties in her bag, but those are not made for him to see.

Once again she ends up wearing one of his gym shirts and no pants - the shirt is big enough and she likes the feeling of her mostly bare legs tangling with his in their sleep.

Her previously secret cuddling tendencies have become obvious to him, and while she is super subtle about untangling herself from him a few times each night, she’s sure he’s woken up with her wrapped around him at least once or twice. Still, he hasn’t said anything about that specifically - just like she has never said a word about those times when she was totally pressed up against his boner.

Friends keep awkward secrets from each other, right?

No one knows about their sleeping together, and normally she would be able to talk to her best friend about anything (even this weird relationship stuff), but now everything she wants to talk about involves him.

She knows what he looks like in the morning, the gravelly sound of his voice when he’s just woken up, and how he’s barely functional until he’s had a big cup of coffee. The usually so eloquent dork can barely form a full sentence for at least five minutes, and the full sleepiness only fades after a lot of coffee from his favorite mug (the one she gave him for his birthday two years ago).

It is getting so damn difficult to contain this stupid crush. She doesn’t want to fuck up her relationship with the best friend she’s ever had, but these feeling won’t go away.

The smart thing to do would probably be to keep her distance for a while, but nobody ever said she was smart.

Except for Enjolras.

Damn it, not helping.

FOUR

It’s gotten to the point where he sleeps better when she’s next to him, on her side of the bed, breathing softly and occasionally reaching out for him.

He used to sleep like a starfish in the middle of his bed, but now he sleeps on his side of the bed even when he’s alone, reaching for someone who isn’t there. When he’s alone, he fills her side with blankets and pillows so there’s something there at least.

Yes, he is fully aware of how pathetic he is.

It’s not just the loneliness - it’s her. It’s Eponine.

“It’s nice to have someone there,” he tells her one night when they hang out on his couch together. “It’s nice to have you here.”

Oh, any second now she is going to punch him in the face and walk out - he is getting way too close to revealing his stupid feelings for her anytime she’s around. This is not something that is usually said with completely platonic intentions.

His intentions are platonic, they really are. His dreams, the ones that will never ever come true, are the things that are far away from platonic. Sometimes he wakes up blushing, with her right there only miles away from where he wants her to be. She can keep cuddling him whenever she wants.

“I know what you mean,” is all that Eponine says.

And now his heart is about to pound right out of his chest, because she understands. But does she really? Or is she just scratching the surface?

But then she leans into him, curling up against him on his tiny little couch, and he no longer cares how much she understands. He just wants her to stay just like this.

He slips an arm around her shoulders and she slings her legs over into his lap, her head almost leaning on his shoulder. They are almost entirely wrapped around each other now, and while his body is screaming out at him to just make a move already, his heart is perfectly content for once.

Later that night, when they go to bed early even though neither of them appears even the slightest bit tired, she resumes her cuddling right away. Her bare legs tangle with his, and her arm is slung casually over his bare chest. She can probably feel his heart pounding underneath her fingertips.

“We always end up like this,” she whispers in the darkness. “We might as well own up to it and start out like it.”

He murmurs in agreement, too afraid that words will ruin this perfect bubble of happiness.

FIVE

It’s been a month of cuddling almost every night. Either he is already at hers, or she lets herself end up at his at the end of the night - sleeping alone has never looked worse when she has the option of sleeping in his arms.

People are starting to notice - Chetta showed up to her apartment a few times, and she either found no one there or both Eponine and Enjolras. And in those cases they’d barely managed to untangle themselves before Chetta barged in - if they made it in time at all, so Chetta had some things to say to Eponine.

Things that do not bear repeating - because obviously Chetta picked up on her stupid crush right away.

She still wants so badly, wants even more than she’s been lucky enough to get from him. Really, she should have learned by now never to ask for more, never to need more than she’s getting. She is Eponine Thenardier - she doesn’t deserve any of this. She doesn’t deserve a best friend who cares for her this much, who holds her through the worst parts and doesn’t mind her being all over him all the damn time even when the paint on her skin has barely dried.

Sure, she understands why that stuff makes Chetta think that the stupid feelings are mutual, but Eponine knows better than that. They’re just really close best friends - platonic soulmates or something. They are not a couple, no matter how often she dreams about that at night. Dreaming about something does not make it so - she has to remember that.

It’s just really hard to remember when they’re wrapped around each other and his hand has once again made its way under her top - he’s halfway to second base with her and he’s still sleeping! She only wishes he’d make a move like this when they are both wide awake.

The fact that he never will is what is keeping her up at night - the clock on the bedside table reads 2:43 AM. She is perfectly comfortable with his hands where they are, but her mind will not stop racing and making her read into this.

She has a momentary lapse of judgment, a moment of weakness that makes her shift in his grip so that his hand slips even higher up her shirt. One more shift, and…

Wait!

The tension in his body increases suddenly, and she knows she managed to screw everything up. He’s awake and he is just about to take his hands off her and never touch her again.

“I’m so sorry,” they both start at the same time.

Then, silence. He’s sorry? She should be sorry, trying to make him grope her in his sleep just so she can believe the fantasy for a little while longer.

He pulls his hand away slowly, so slowly that it’s almost a caress. She just can’t seem to stop the wishful thinking - she wants him not to be sorry for touching her, she just wants him to want her a fraction of how much she wants him.

“I know I crossed so many lines just now,” Enjolras is brave enough to continue.

Not nearly enough, actually.

“Not really,” she shrugs, trying to keep casual.

“You didn’t,” he stammers. “I mean. Did I - did you?”

She could step in, she should step in. But watching him squirm like this in the dimly lit bedroom has a whole different kind of appeal. Because it’s starting to seem like he is just as scared as she is, for all the same reasons.

“Did you want me to move?” he asks then, bold again.

“Not in the direction you just did,” she admits.

His eyes will be wide, probably, but she cannot tell. All she can do is wait for him to respond, to push them both over the edge they’ve been dangling on for what seems like centuries.

Slowly, his hand moves back underneath her shirt, as if waiting for her to protest. He is inches away from his goal when he stops.

“Just kiss me already,” she can’t wait a second longer.

He listens to her, as he always does.

[simpmaru-nara]

Re: Thor Ragnarok

Okay so I’ve got a lot to say about this movie so I recommend you settle in for the long haul. Also there’s gonna be spoilers obv since I’ll have to reference the movie to make some of my points. I’ll try to stay away from any big ones, but go into this knowing that it will spoil some points.

To get started I’d like to say that if you are going to see the movie for pure entertainment value then the movie’s pretty alright; gorgeous graphics, some good jokes, fun costumes, etc. But even in that aspect much of the action was lackluster simply because it was often diminished to make room for dialogue or to cut to uninteresting parts of a fight. For instance in the final big fight there are three different points of interest and we spend too much time seeing the least fun parts of all those fights. And the gladiator scenes, which were extremely played up in the trailers, only last for about ten minutes and end by leaving the viewers both confused and disappointed.

In fact “confused and disappointed” was the mood for the entire movie

Despite excessive exposition the story somehow manages to be extremely vague with lots of unanswered questions. The first ten minutes of the movie is just Thor explaining how he ended up in the position we find him in and explaining the plot-important villain he faces. It tells instead of shows and is interrupted several times to make way for uncharacteristic jokes. It’s boring as hell and still doesn’t answer most questions one could have about what’s been happening to Thor since last we saw him. Then it transitions in probably the most disappointing way possible to answer a question that people have been burning with since the cliffhanger in the last Thor movie; what happened to Asgard and Loki? Thor arrives in Asgard to find Loki; who apparently has been met with zero suspicion in the face of extremely odd behavior and the creation of a god damn gold statue. Despite being questioned at every turn by the Warriors Three and Sif (who was suspiciously absent in this movie but I’ll get to that later) in the first movie, apparently in this movie everyone is content to praise the saint Loki who died for their sins. The entire situation is treated with a lot of nonchalance even after Loki is unmasked. Even more casual is the mention of the time that has passed with Loki in charge and absolutely nothing is said about what he’s done as king. Several movies building up Loki’s desire to rule, believing himself more worthy than his hot-headed brother, only for it to end up being something he does nothing note-worthy with. We were led to expect more. Oh and also apparently Thor and Jane broke up? Why? Oh right because we needed room for his new love interest. Of course this type of empty story telling carries on throughout the entire movie. It’s never truly explained how the last Valkyrie survived or how Bruce ended up in space.

Actually I’d like to talk about that last one a little more. The writers behind this movie used huge cop-outs in a few key points. One of the biggest was Hulk explaining what happened to him after the events of Age of Ultron. They used the dumb child-like personality they built for him as a way of dodging responsibility for explaining how the hell Hulk even ended up where he was. The quinjet, as far as we know, is not a space-faring vessel. It’s a god damn plane and yet we’re meant to believe that somehow the Hulk managed to fly that thing into space and make it far away from Earth and crash land on Sakaar before anywhere else. It’s ridiculous yet it’s the only explanation we’re offered from an illiterate Hulk. More than that we aren’t given any reason for why Thor is in the Hulk’s quarters. It’s made fairly clear that Hulk’s feelings towards Thor are mixed and the Grand Master wanted Thor dead in order to keep his Champion but for some reason both keep Thor alive and even choose to let him stay with Hulk? And no one questions it; not even Thor.

Thor, and the entire cast for that matter, is wildly out of character the entirety of the movie. Everyone is ripped to shreds in favor of humor. It’s like the writers went, “Hmmm, how do we make Bruce Banner funny? Oh!! I know! Just make him really weird for no apparent reason and also give him mood swings because we’re just going to forget that he had complete control prior to this movie and instead he’s going to be neurotic.” And they did that to everyone. Thor had a sense of humor in the earlier movies; typically more subtle and friendly, but here he’s openly sarcastic bordering on cynical. His jokes come across more Stark-ish (if Tony suddenly genuinely stopped caring) than they do Thor’s brand of humor. And Loki. God Loki... he’s reduced to a running joke about betrayal and being untrustworthy. “Silver tongued” Loki appears to have lost any amount of wit or actual mischief and is instead predictable and weirdly subdued. And all of this humor is ill-timed.

The writers absolutely refuse to give a single moment in the movie any depth. Any time that the plot manages to touch on something meaningful there’s humor thrown in as a buffer that only succeeds in forcefully detaching you from the plights of the characters. Thor’s in a cage and being threatened by the literal catalyst of Ragnarok? Better toss in a couple of jokes so it doesn’t seem too intense. Thor and Loki actually have a chance to talk about their problems and/or work as a team to establish a dynamic? Better make a joke about how easily Loki will throw Thor under the bus. Odin just died and Mjolnir was destroyed? Quick lets move onto the next thing before things get too heavy. The movie completely fails in making you care about anyone in the main cast. In fact, the person I was most invested in for the entire movie was Heimdal. The man has a total of maybe 10 minutes of screen time, but damn if he wasn’t the most interesting thing going on in the story. That’s at least half way because they didn’t try to force any awkward humor with him and they didn’t kill him. Which they killed a lot of characters in this movie and never give it the proper time or even weight to be grieved over.

Among the characters who were killed were the Warriors Three. A fact which is never acknowledged even as it happens. We at least get told (through Exposition Golem Alien because the audience can’t be trusted to deduce anything obviously) that Mjolnir being destroyed is a heavy weight on Thor and we see briefly the level of grief Thor feels for the loss of Odin, but the Warriors Three were Thor’s best friends. He grew up around them, adventured with them, they play a significant part in the first Thor movie, yet even before they die they’re widely forgotten about both by the plot and by Thor. Interestingly enough, however, is that Sif does not appear in this movie.

Sif remains completely AWOL for the entire movie, and honestly I’m pretty sure the reason is because the writers were reluctant to kill her off since she’s the Hot Warrior Babe. Because obviously they showed no hesitation in getting rid of the warriors as a casualty of the opposition to Hela and if Sif had been present she would have been right beside them and equally dead. Couldn’t do that so instead she’s just mysteriously not there. And I make this accusation with more than just Sif in mind. The movie also doesn’t want you to think that Hela isn’t attractive. In every scene we see her in she starts with her hair down in a sexy cat suit until she’s ready to fight at which point her wild black hair turns into her war helmet. There’s no real reason for the transition other than the fact that if she was always sporting the war helmet then she would come across as less attractive.

Besides the casual “must remain sexy” attitude towards Hela there was also a huge lack of continuity in the story, which kind of ties in with the lack questions answered, but still stands as it’s own problem. In the first Thor movie Odin takes Thor’s powers and casts an enchantment on Mjolnir. “Whosoever holds this hammer, should he be worth, shall possess the power of Thor.” Obviously Thor is the one to eventually pick up the hammer again and regain his power, but the importance of Mjolnir relative to Thor’s abilities is not diminished at that point. Yet magically in this movie Thor doesn’t need Mjolnir he just has these powers naturally. Even though, you know, Asgardians have never been shown to just naturally have elemental abilities and it was established that Thor doesn’t have much magic prowess the way Loki does. But that’s okay we’ll just ignore that because it’s really cool to see Thor turn into an anime character with glowing white eyes and electric fists (an ability he didn’t have even when he possessed Mjolnir). Also there’s the fact that Asgard’s history is vaguely outlined in the first movie as well and it’s made very clear that Odin is not the one who carved a spot for the golden city. He’s not the first king; his father was king before him. So no, Hela, you didn’t help Odin drown the realms in blood especially not while he was busy trying to end a war with Jotunheim as was explained as what he was doing around the time Thor was born and Loki was adopted. And it’s not just this either; there were plenty of other errors there, even with Doctor Strange.

And the scene with the Doc was odd in it’s own right. Last we saw of Doctor Strange he was giving up the infinity stone and taking over the New York sanctum as a talented, but still young sorcerer. When we see him in this movie he throws around magic like candy; appearing to be extremely proficient and wearing a familiar comic-book-esque outfit. Which raises the question, where is he relative to the power he (if we’re to go off the comics) is meant to possess? Is he the supreme now? What has he been doing since the end of his movie? The timeline is wonky at best and leaves you grasping blindly to try and put it together. It’s only made worse by the first after-credits scene which seems to be leaning into Infinity Wars territory.

Honestly I could talk about everything this movie could have done better for hours. I could pick apart the entire movie start to finish for all the things that were just wrong. But this is already an essay sized post so I’m gonna wrap it up. I care about this franchise. I care about the MCU. And that’s why it makes me so upset, as a fellow writer, to see how god damn lazy every part of Thor: Ragnarok was. The writer’s consistently and shamelessly cop-out of any meaningful story telling. “Show not tell” is a concept burned, drowned, and buried. They tear apart these beloved characters so thoroughly that they are nearly unrecognizable all in the pursuit of getting some good one-liners out there. I don’t have the words to describe my disappointment because Thor isn’t the first recent Marvel movie to do this. Guardians of the Galaxy 2 made some similar mistakes and now I’m feeling like the MCU no longer cares about building a coherent story line with dimensional characters. Instead they just care about making a movie as quotable as possible so that they sell some merch. And that’s a shame; I don’t want to see the MCU die because of a cash grab that sacrifices legitimate investment in the franchise.

[writmedium]

Cat Reads Comics - Week of 15 Feb. 2017

[movietvtechgeeks]

Latest story from https://movietvtechgeeks.com/thor-ragnarok-breaks-third-film-curse-fantastical-fun/

'Thor: Ragnarok' breaks third film curse with fantastical fun

  Iron Man 3, Spider-Man 3, Terminator 3, Alien 3 and X-Men: Last Stand. They say that the third time isn’t always a charm in Hollywood, but Thor: Ragnarok is one of the exceptions. The premise of Ragnarok, the Norse myth of the end of times is very serious, but the film is anything but. It is perhaps the funniest film in the MCU. It’s like watching DC’s Powerless but much better and with plenty of action. Like the review said, Thor: Ragnarok is too fantastic, it seems more like a dream.

“Like a cosmic fever dream, Ragnarok is a disorienting cocktail of riotous color and batty antics that seem almost unreal after the fact. Try to fit it into an established mould at your peril, but roll with this and you’ll discover not only a top-tier addition to the MCU but one of the most flat-out enjoyable comedies of the year.                                        -- James Dyre, Empire

Thor: Ragnarok has really pushed the boundaries of comedy in the MCU which is already full of humor to begin with provided to us by the Guardians of the Galaxy, Ant-Man, and Spider-Man: Homecoming. We also know that the MCU has already worked on different film genres except for maybe a true action-comedy. It’s just strange that of all the Marvel characters, they really went with Thor whom we might consider the most serious of all the Marvel heroes. But here he is, after being set up to be the butt of jokes ever since he said his brother Loki was adopted as the reason for his mischief in the first Avengers film. DC may be doing the same thing with Aquaman since recent writers can’t think of what to do with water-based superheroes. What this film does is accept this build-up in great fashion. The culmination of making fun out of Thor. Perhaps they’ve made it too fun. To be honest, the first Thor was a bore; the second was just average because maybe Marvel has not been too sure of how to integrate the fantastical elements of the character to the more grounded MCU. So Marvel Studios decided to cut loose and let their imaginations run wild thanks to films like Guardians of the Galaxy and Doctor Strange. Seriousness, action, and comedy aren’t easily put together with great success. This film has really gone all out on the fantasy element of the MCU putting together gods, aliens, technology, and magic. The contrast versus the more grounded roots of the MCU like Iron Man and the Netflix’s Daredevil really stands out. Thor: Ragnarok demands your suspension of disbelief and keeps you in that state with all the humor. This film does have its serious bits, some of which are a bit shocking, which I think blends fluidly in the film. So, aside from expecting a few laughs from Thor: Ragnarok which the trailers have conditioned us to, what else can we expect from the film? Here are some minor spoilers which I trust won’t affect you while watching the film but are still interesting. First, Lady Sif is nowhere to be seen in this film despite it being about the end of Asgard. Not a spoiler because that’s what Ragnarok means, at most in the comics. Jane Foster isn’t around either. What’s with Thor and his girls anyway? Problems with Jamie Alexander and Natalie Portman? Gwyneth Paltrow made a comeback in Spider-Man: Homecoming. Hopefully, an interesting explanation on the fates of these characters will come up soon. About this author’s theory regarding the Soul Stone residing in Thor’s hammer, I was very wrong. Well, that’s what theories are. About Hela, we all know that she’s the amalgamation of Hela, goddess of death, Amora, the Enchantress (due to her association with Skurge the Executioner) and Gorr the Godbutcher because of her talents but she has one more shocking attribute that will surprise comics fans. Plus, the question about the gauntlet in Odin’s vault is finally answered as well as the Loki/Odin question that has been hanging since Thor: The Dark World. I’ll do you guys a favor. Just sit through the mid-credits and don’t bother with the post-credit scene. If you didn’t like the last bit of Spider-Man: Homecoming, you’ll like this even less. Your choice though. After popularizing the post-credits scene, perhaps so we could at least know the names of the guys who did post-shoot cleaning, Marvel seems to want to junk the concept. The visuals were awesome as always being an MCU film. Chris Hemsworth works well with comedy taking his performance to another level from Ghostbusters. A major factor is his unlikely stature and physique as well as the unlikeliness of his character. Mark Ruffalo as Hulk was awesome as well. These two characters continue their great chemistry from the Avengers. Karl Urban as Skurge and Cate Blanchett as Hela, however, may seem a bit bland but Hela as a character does come as intimidating. For those on the lookout for the MCU’s villain problem, you’ll be able to see it, but as always with MCU films, it’s an issue that can be overlooked when seeing the film as a whole. Overall, Thor: Ragnarok is a fun and enjoyable film for those who enjoy a comedy film every now and then. This may bother some folks who think that this film is too over the top for its own good and overcompensates for how the character has been handled in his MCU appearances. That too is a minor issue on my part but Thor could use a break. Don't forget to check out our Superhero Collectors Guide which includes Thor, of course! Film Review: 'Thor: Ragnarok' Reviewed on Oct. 27, 2017. MPAA Rating: PG-13. Running time: 130 MIN. PRODUCTION: A Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures release of a Marvel Studios presentation. Producer: Kevin Feige. Executive producers: Victoria Alonso, Louis D'Esposito, Thomas M. Hammel, Stan Lee, Brad Winderbaum. Director: Taika Waititi. Screenplay: Eric Pearson, Craig Kyle & Christopher L. Yost. Camera (widescreen): Javier Aguirresarobe. Editors: Zene Baker, Joel Negron. Music: Mark Mothersbaugh. WITH: Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston, Cate Blanchett, Idris Elba, Jeff Goldblum, Tessa Thompson, Mark Ruffalo, Karl Urban, Anthony Hopkins, Benedict Cumberbatch.

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