#it's also kind of a masterpiece so I'm even more insane but *whatever*

[destiel-wings]

context: I'm writing a LONG wip (should be 55 chapters, an actual epic story with action and plot though romantic destiel filter) and I'm thinking about when i should start posting it. Generally I'd want to finish first and post afterwards, so i can update regularly and not be distracted from the actual writing, but it's gonna take me way too long to finish it (like two years realistically??) so I'm thinking maybe i might start posting it before, even if less regularly? So i can share it with you earlier and you can engage with me as i write it?

[thebonerpit]

Idk if anyone follows my posts enough to even notice this but you may have seen me talking about a lot of new things I've watched so far this year, both tv and film. I kind of made a mini resolution to do this because I found, especially at the end of 2023, that I was stuck in a rut of either rewatching old things or mindlessly flipping through YouTube videos I had little to no interest in. There's so much media out there I'm interested in and now I feel almost reinvigorated to go through it and I've been having a blast.

Most of the time I'll probably just reblog a gifset or two with thoughts in the tags but I finally watched the Interview with the Vampire tv show and I have FEELINGS (mostly good)! Spoilers for season one and I do talk about book things that eventually happen so beware in case you don't know and want to continue the show completely blind...

So I kinda put off watching this at first because the Vampire Chronicles books are some of my favourites, and while it did have its own issues, the 1994 film holds a special place in my heart. I was like... do we really need anything else? But I'm glad I gave it a chance because the show was able to go so much further in so many aspects and also now we have a chance to actually see even more of the book events take place!

I'm gonna say up front that almost every character felt very different from how they are in the book except for Lestat. Lestat was actual perfection and I cannot BELIEVE someone did a (dare I say) even better job than Tom Cruise who gave the performance of his life in the film. Sam Reid's Lestat is unhinged and dramatic and terrifying and sad and cringe and yet also loveable and it was a masterpiece of acting. For the majority of the other characters I really didn't mind the differences and in some instances I thought they were actually improved. Daniel Molloy, for example, who is basically Anthony Bourdain? Perfection. Louis who is yes kind of pathetic and dramatic like the book, but also is volatile and complicated which Lestat is drawn to right from the beginning instead of only after having his little breakdown caused by his brother's death? Excellent. Armand who is older and looks nothing like the Armand described in the books but I can see without any problem how Marius fell madly deeply insanely in love with him because he's GORGEOUS and has this unsettling serenity about him? Give. Me. MORE.

The only issue I really had was with Claudia. I see people praising her all over the place so I'm sure this is an unpopular opinion but I hated that they aged her up so much. The most compelling thing about Claudia as a character is that she is an adult woman trapped in the body of a literal CHILD. A pre-pubescent child. Not a teenager. It's absolutely horrifying and it should be horrifying. Now, I will say, I saw an article where they talked about part of the reason behind this choice being that they needed the actor to work longer hours and it was impossible for a kid to do that, plus the very intense material, and I fully FULLY support any protections for child actors because the industry is insane. But it does make me sad and I wish there was some way they could have worked around it. I get what they tried to do with teenage Claudia but it just fell flat for me. And also the actress really looks her age (I think she's 20?) so like the few times where people were making fun of her for "playing dress up" or whatever I'm like... she fully looks like an older teen at LEAST what are you talking about lol. Also I thought her accent was kind of bad.

But honestly, that was really the only problem I had with the whole series. I absolutely loved how they went full-on explicit with the Lestat/Louis romance and the chemistry between the two of them was... WOOF. I was actually really interested in the modern portions too, mostly because Anthony Bour-- I mean Daniel Molloy was so entertaining lol. I loved how he pushed and pushed at Louis and their whole back and forth was brilliant. Although putting on my archivist's hat for a second to be outraged at Daniel consenting to wearing the cotton gloves to handle the diaries but then eating a fucking sandwich right beside the book???? Absolutely not lol. It was so much fun to see the Armand reveal (which I was spoiled for somehow but that's ok) especially knowing that Armand eventually turns Daniel and boy oh boy I hope they go long enough to get to that. I loved the continued references to Lestat's love of music which makes me hope they're planting seeds to make rock star Lestat a little more believable lol (god can you even imagine?? And we don't talk about the Queen of the Damned movie ok).

As for S2, I'm so excited for Paris and the Théâtre des Vampires and HELLO Ben Daniels as Santiago!!! Omg so hype for that. And it's going to be so interesting to see the Armand/Louis relationship as well because I mean it's always going to be Lestat/Louis and Armand/Marius for me so Louis being like "he's the love of my life"... girl. (And speaking of Armand/Marius please GOD give us some flashbacks because they are my Vampire Chronicles OTP and I need to see that whole story including my girl Bianca thank youuuuu).

Yeah so overall I'm quite positive about the whole thing and sincerely hope that they get many more seasons because there's so many interesting stories in those books and we've only ever gotten a TINY portion on screen.

[starry-eyed-romantics]

How You Get The Girl

Chris Evans x female reader

Warnings: language

Summary: you and Chris fell apart a few months ago, and it took him that long to realise how wrong he was for letting you go instead of holding on

Word count: 3,112 words

A/N: this is based off of Taylor's song how you get the girl!! I was listening to this masterpiece of a song and decided it would make such a cute story out of:) also, I'm kind of new here, and this is my first fic, so I reallyyyyy hope y’all like this. All love xxxx mwah

p.s. I got carried away with the word count HAHA, I really enjoyed writing this!!

Stand there like a ghost Shaking come the rain, rain She'll open up the door And say, are you insane, -ane?

Say it's been a long six months And you were too afraid to tell her what you want, want

And that's how it works That's how you get the girl

It was four in the evening, a beautiful rainy day. You loved the rain— it was the perfect time to relax and bury your head in a good book for hours. Just as you were about to get in bed with a book in your hand, Conversations with Friends by Sally Rooney, to be exact— that's when you heard it.

Someone was standing outside of your house, knocking on the door— Impatiently. You brought whatever you were about to do at that moment to a halt and pulled a look of confusion and intrigue on your face.

As the knocking grew louder, you couldn’t help but feel fear creeping up the back of your neck.

You still weren't used to living alone after moving out of his house six months ago.

As you began to tiptoe towards the door, the knocking got louder and started to sound more impatient— it was like the person intended to break the door down.

Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with this person? You thought to yourself as you roll your eyes to the back of your head.

You slowly grab hold of the doorknob and twist it open, and standing right in front of you was a large and tall framed body you once knew all too well.

The familiar yet distant sight made you stop in your tracks for a brief second— allowing you to take in the silhouette of a tall man standing in the rain, face dimly lit from the harsh porch light.

As you continued to stare outside of your door, the person in front of you took a few steps backwards, into the rain instead of under your roof, where shelter was provided.

It took you a while to fully register what was happening right in front of you.

Finally, your train of thought was interrupted after gaping out in the open for what felt like hours, eventually coming to a realisation.

“Chris? Oh my God! What are you doing? Are you insane?? Come here, come inside; what the hell are you thinking?!” You shout at him against the roaring rain— beckoning him to come inside as you hurriedly grab a freshly laundered blanket hanging right behind the front door.

Instead of walking towards you, he continues to stand in the rain. "No! I'm not coming in until you say you forgive me! Word for word." You can barely hear his voice against the rain, but you could still make out a few words.

With furrowed brows and scrutinised eyes, you weren't in the mood for bullshit. If he had something he wanted to say, he'd better make it quick.

"What? I can barely hear you, Chris. God! stop acting all crazy, all right? Just come on in, and we'll talk it out inside. It's a lot warmer, ya know!"

To your surprise, he continues to stand his ground.

This stubborn prick, you think to yourself. "Please, Y/N. I know you can hear me from here; just hear me out, okay?" he manages to spatter out, voice muffled from the intense rainfall.

So much rain was falling that the sound blurred into one long, whirring noise. "Stop being so stubborn and get your as-" Just as you were about to finish your sentence, he cuts you off.

“It's been quite a long six months, huh?” Those words manage to capture your full attention, glueing your feet onto the ground as you squint your eyes in the glowering rain with full intent.

“Ever since you—I left, my life has been a living hell. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I know it sounds cliché, but- it's true. No one has ever made me as happy as you have. When you were gone, I had finally realised how much you meant to me. And I'm so sorry it took me this long to admit, but—

I love you.”

He stops for a second to look up at the clouds gathered in the sky, eyes squeezed shut and pondering over the remainder of his answer.

After a while, he goes on. “And I'm so sorry for leaving, I- I was just too scared to tell you what I want. And it’s that I want you all the time. And I'm so sick and tired of waking up every day and you being the first person I think about, but not in bed next to me.”

“I'm tired of not having anyone to look forward to when I get home; ever since you left. I'm tired of not being able to take you into my arms after a tiring day anymore, and I just- I just miss being loved by you. And I miss loving you, which I haven't stopped doing, by the way. I know I hurt you, and I understand if it's going to take you a long time to get you to trust me again, but, honestly, there's nothing else I'd rather do than wait for you."

You were still standing behind the door when he seemed to have finished talking. The only sounds you could make out was the walls of rain drumming against the canopy. No words could come out of your mouth. You were indeed speechless, and you were sure Chris, too, could tell by the expression you were making.

And then you say I want you for worse or for better I would wait for ever and ever Broke your heart, I'll put it back together I would wait for ever and ever

And that's how it works That's how you get the girl, girl, oh And that's how it works That's how you get the girl, girl

A stillness falls around the two of you again. The sounds of rain hitting the canvas roof with force. You would constantly find yourself gaping your mouth open only to shut it close again.

Stepping in to break the silence, Chris continues, "Just know, that- I wouldn't have it any other way. I hope you know that I really do love you and want you for worse or better. And that I would wait forever for you. Anything to let you know that I would rather die than live a life without you in it."

“And I’m so sorry for breaking your heart, but, I want you to give me a chance to put it back together. This time I'll make it right, I promise. I want to keep fighting. And I won't stop until I get you back.”

He stops to look at you more profoundly, eyebrows raising. "That is, if you still feel the same about me." You can make out him scanning your face for some kind of approval.

He was waiting for your answer, body drenched from the rain. "Uhh, Chris? Were you saying something?" You manage to cry out as you slowly see his face fall. "I'm sorry, I thought I saw your lips moving, but I couldn't hear anything come out of it. You weren't talking, were you?"

You can tell by the look on his face that he is hurt. All those words that meant something to him weren't even being heard by the one person he wanted to tell them to.

As he looks at you, eyes expressing his utmost misery, a small mischievous grin begins to dance along your lips as you let out a small chuckle, hands flying towards your stomach.

His face changes to a look of confusion and then shifts to realisation. "I was joking! What would you have done if I actually couldn't hear you??" He was laughing now, and you loved seeing that smile on his face. You loved it even more if it was caused by you.

Relief washes over him, and he can't help but let out a chuckle, a wide grin appearing on his face. The sight of him can't help but put a smile on your face too. God, he just looked beautiful. And in the rain?!? Nothing else mattered at that moment. It was just the two of you against the world.

“Are you going to continue to stand in the rain, or?” You say, one eyebrow raised and head tilting to the left. But, instead of coming in, he doesn't budge. Just one look on his face, and you can tell he’s up to no good. You can’t tell if you hate it or like it.

You narrow your eyes, lowering your brows and giving him a quizzical look. What is he up to now? “Do you forgive me?” He shouts out.

Lifting a finger to rest on your chin, you pretend to look around. “Hm," You hum in response, "That depends; any more confessions?” You turn to look back at him.

“Wanna find out?” He says as he takes his hands out of the pockets of his raincoat and spreads his arms wide open, ready to embrace you.

You hesitate for a moment, and surely, without another doubt in your mind, you begin to run in his direction with nothing else on your mind other than wanting to run into his arms again.

As you quicken your pace towards him, stepping in a few puddles along the way, you can't help but stifle a laugh. It felt amazing.

You're about to reach him, and when you do, you jump right into his arms, locking your legs around his waist to help keep you in place.

Your heart begins to beat faster and faster as his face comes up to your own. You knew that if you kissed him, you wouldn't be able to stop.

Before your mind could withdraw you from its far places, his lips were on yours. The kiss was soft; your quiet face blurry and drowning to nothingness.

As you felt the world spin around you, before you knew it, you were kissing him back. It felt like your soul was opening, his insistent mouth parting your shaking lips, sending shivers down your spine, evoking you from sensations you never knew you were capable of feeling.

You felt his hands roam around your neck down to your back, still holding you up in the hammering rain.

Then, reaching up to run your fingers through his damp hair, you can't help but break the kiss to take in the look on his face.

As you met his prominent gaze, he remained to stand, your body still clinging onto his the way the entirety of the galaxy holds onto the stars.

The rims of his eyes were inflamed, and in this moment, he looked like an astonished child who had just figured out the working wonders of the world around him.

Face flushed and eyes narrowing, he brings his lips back onto yours, eyes closing and setting your body aflame, engulfing your body whole.

“I feel like I’m in a movie,” you say, pulling away from the kiss one more time. “Like the notebook,” a sheepish smile spreading across your face.

Chris smiles, eyes crinkled at the edges, and the corners of his lips turned upwards. “Ugh”, he shudders, setting you down onto your feet. “I hate the notebook.”

You can't help but chuckle at his words.

You've missed him. But, of course, there were some things the both of you needed to talk about—a lot of catching up to do.

“OK. Can we go inside now?” You blurt out, rainwater collecting in your mouth.

Remind her how it used to be, be Yeah, with pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks, cheeks Tell her how you must've lost your mind When you left her all alone and never told her why, why

And that's how it works That's how you lost the girl

Making your way towards the house, you go through the front door first. Once Chris does, he doesn't have much time to object before you pull him in by his bicep and begin to wrap his body in the warm blanket, closing the door behind him to block the increasing rain right after.

Everything then goes by in silence. You usher him down the hall and towards the couch, later then slipping off into the kitchen to make him a hot cup of tea. He sits down and waits for you, shivering and drenched from the rain.

You soon return with two mugs and sit down beside him. “Here, drink up. You're going to get a cold if you don’t,” He looks into your eyes, gives you a slight nod, and brings the mug up to his quivering lips.

After taking a few sips, he places the mug down gently on the coffee table, hands still shivering from the cold. What he didn't expect was for you to take his hands into yours and clasp them together, blowing air on it gently to give him a sense of warmth.

As he looks up at you, all the while taking in your beautiful features, there is a sincere smile written on your face. The only thing he had on his mind was how much he wanted to pull you into his loving arms. But instead, he looked up at you and let out a timid “Thank you,” His voice was barely registered over a whisper.

"No problem", you reply, giving him a reassuring smile.

You look out the window. The roof of your car was cascading with spray, and you could hear the murmuring of the rain through the window. It sounded like pebbles being thrown onto glass.

Chris breaks the silence after a while. "Hey, I've got something I want to show you," he says, unclasping his hands from yours, and you can see him reach into his large pocket, pulling out a folded piece of paper.

He unfolds it slowly, revealing the picture in it. The sight makes you stifle back a sob.

It was a picture of the two of you on your first date; you were sitting cross-legged on the bare grass, Chris' right arm slung around your shoulder, placing a kiss on your cheek. The both of you had gone to an empty field, walked on open train tracks, and laid on your backs underneath the sun.

You remember that day like it was yesterday.

The look on his face never erased from your mind. He looked so gentle and happy, as his bare back was facing the sun. You recalled the smell of the fresh dirt, the beating of his heart travelling through your ears. You had always loved the way his heart would quicken its pace whenever he was around you. Only for you, he would say.

Your train of thought was interrupted when you felt him shift in his spot. Teary-eyed, you slowly meet his gaze, taking a slow breath. "You still kept this after I shattered the old frame?" you ask, letting out a small laugh, as you bring your head down to look at the picture again.

"Of course I did," he says, choking back a sob as you bring your eyes back onto his face. A small smile forms on his lips.

Humming in response, you study him for a second before asking. "Why'd you leave? And never tell me why?" The question you had been dying to ask finally left your lips.

His breath hitches, Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows hard. "You see, I know this is going to sound weird, but- I fell in love with you," He says, sighing.

Not knowing what he meant, you look up at him, face masked with confusion. And to be honest, you were pretty offended. "So, you left because you fell in love with me?" you manage to let out with a sarcastic and offended tone.

He shuts his eyes close, probably from embarrassment but, he goes on. "Yeah, and- I know that's a good thing, but, back then, I was stupid. My insecurities swallowed me whole and, I began to think I wasn't good enough for you. Remember when I told you all about my past relationships? And how none of them worked out because of what I do?" he asks you.

You nod in reply, eyes focused on the outline of his lips.

"Yeah, well- I began to feel that way with you. I thought that you were going to leave me. Not now, but maybe one day. Maybe distance wouldn't work out for us, or- I don't know. I was just scared. I didn't want to lose you. So, instead of talking it out with you like I should have, I- began to distance myself. I thought that maybe, if I didn't get too attached, it wouldn't hurt as much once you left. And trust me Y/N, when I say it hurt just as bad."

As you were about to answer him, he continues. "I thought that distancing myself would have made me feel a little better, but it really didn't. I mean, I must've lost my fucking mind when we broke up, god. It took me this long to realise that because I was just so in denial. Come to think of it, I was the one that called it off. And you were still planning on staying with me. So, it really made me feel like an idiot. I've just missed you so much, and- I couldn’t stand the torture I had brought upon myself anymore,” he pauses for a while, tears starting to stream down his now flushed cheeks.

You bring your lips to a pout, gently bringing your thumb up to brush his tears off, your other hand slowly running your fingers through his damp hair. "Thank you for being honest with me. I've missed you too, and I love you so much."

As you lift his chin up to look at you, his eyes still bloodshot red and brimming with tears, you place a gentle peck on his lips.

"Chris, you're insane for thinking I would ever leave you. On the contrary, there is not a day that goes by where I don't think about wanting to spend my entire life with you. Plus, it really hurt when you left so, fuck you for that."

His eyebrows perk up, flashing a grin at you. "What? Right now?" he says, cheekily slipping in a dirty joke you knew you would never get tired of.

You let out a laugh, loving the fact that he always manages to make you laugh in serious situations. "Seriously, Chris?! Bad timing. You always do that."

"Only with you."

[nrnyx]

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

Oh goodness, so my whole Sterek fic Wicked Ink has been so enjoyable to write. I make myself laugh constantly writing and rereading it. Stiles is just hilarious in this one, and that's kind of weird to say since I'm the writer, but I swear it's like I don't even know what's going to come out of Stiles' mouth myself sometimes. I don't even know if I can pick a moment but...

“If you don’t mind me asking. How did you two meet? I mean no offense, but I have to admit I’m insanely curious. You’re not Derek’s usual type. You seem far too interesting for my nephew. He usually goes for more… boring personalities.” A woman who looked a lot like Derek’s dad asked from across the table.

Stiles could tell by the amusement dancing in her eyes as she looked at Derek that Laura and Cora definitely got their humor from their dad’s side of the family. Stiles also didn’t miss how the Jennifer woman shot a sharp glare across the table, and he filed that away for later. There was some history there then - not that Stiles hadn’t already suspected it with the way she looked at Derek.

It also hadn’t escaped Stiles’ notice that Derek didn’t look at her. In fact, he seemed to actively be avoiding any kind of interaction with her, even just a glance, which meant there was some potentially serious and uncomfortable history there they would have to unpack at some point. That was okay exes didn’t scare Stiles. He had an uncomfortable one of his own, after all.

Jennifer was pretty enough, but she did look boring as fuck and stuck up. That could also be the reason Derek’s mother seemed so frosty toward him. Jennifer was her emissary, which meant they were close - which meant whatever this was, it was probably a messy family drama situation, and Stiles was now part of it. Lucky for Derek, he was hot as the sun, totally worth it, and Stiles wasn’t scared of getting a little messy for the right reasons.

“Oh, it’s a heartwarming story, really,” Stiles started, smiling as he saw Derek’s hand move to cover his eyes as if it could hide himself from the trainwreck that was about to happen. “So his pack came into my shop.”

“Your shop?”

“My tattoo parlor.”

“You own a tattoo parlor?”

“Yes, in Beacon Hills. It’s my hometown.”

“So you’re a tattoo artist and a musician?”

“Yes, I offered to do a tattoo for Baby Boy.”

“Baby Boy?”

“Isaac… you know, tall, curly hair, completely adorable but could commit murder - Baby Boy… anyway, they dragged this guy along the next time they came in,” Stiles patted Derek on his perfectly broad chest. “And let me tell you, when I laid eyes on him - the guy should really come with a warning, honestly. I mean, the genetics in your family are crazy impressive, and this guy is just a masterpiece. Generations in the making. He was like - like the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen. My brain couldn’t even process the level of perfect alpha specimen standing there. It was pretty much love at first sight, and I said to him - I said -”

A large, firm hand grabbed the back of his neck and snatched him up like a disobedient pup, and Stiles was honestly surprised it had taken Derek so long.

“Stiles, you are not about to repeat what you said in front of my grandmother, parents, and the pups,” Derek warned, voice low and commanding in a way that did things to Stiles he was sure the other adult wolves around the table could sense.

Stiles bared his neck a little in supplication for Derek in front of them, knowing what it looked like and the effect it had on the alpha. He sent Derek’s aunt a wink. “Yes, sir.”

Derek growled softly against his ear, and his hand tightened a little, causing an excited shiver to race down Stiles’ spine. He and Derek needed to have a talk. The alpha was doing crazy things to Stiles and his magic. Things that Stiles had never felt before with anyone. Stiles knew he was provoking Derek, but he couldn’t help it. His magic craved the alpha and his dominance as much as Stiles’ body did. It was only their first date, but they would need to sit down and have a talk about what this meant.

Derek’s aunt looked positively delighted as she glanced between them. “Oh, you’re a handful, aren’t you.”

Stiles grinned. “I try to be.”

Derek huffed beside him, letting his hand fall from Stiles’ neck to wrap his arm back around Stiles’ waist. Stiles loved the weight of Derek’s arm around him. “Please don’t encourage him.”

“Oh, come on, Derek, we’re just trying to get to know your new beau. Can you blame us for being curious? You’ve never been so quick to claim anyone, not to mention someone so fun,” a well-dressed man sitting beside Derek’s aunt with his arm over the back of her chair spoke up. His eyes lingered on Stiles’ collar, which was more open now, revealing the bite mark beneath. Stiles didn’t do anything to try and cover it back up.

“They think I’m fun,” Stiles stage whispered, turning in the arm Derek had wrapped around his waist and leaning close until his whole front was molded to Derek’s side. “I’m totally in, dude.”

Derek gave his waist a little squeeze, bringing their bodies even tighter together. “Don’t call me dude.”

“I could call you daddy instead,” Stiles murmured, lips tilted up in a smirk against Derek’s ear.

A man further down the table choked on his food, someone else knocked over a glass of wine, Derek’s aunt gave a startled laugh, while his ex Jennifer looked like she’d sucked on a lemon. Stiles glanced at Talia, who looked speechless, which was probably a rare thing for her, but Derek’s father had a large hand covering his face as his shoulders shook, and he tried to control his laughter.

Derek’s eyes were hot and sharp with a nonverbal warning when they cut to him, and Stiles felt himself shiver in a way he knew Derek could feel as well, considering Stiles was pressed right up against him. The muscle in Derek’s jaw flexed as he put his free hand over Stiles' mouth.

It was probably for the best.

For the writer ask: https://at.tumblr.com/nrnyx/700645268338753536/b0dlneqsgo5i

[i-need-air]

"Dude" — Bakugou Katsuki x Reader.

Summary: Your former bully, Midori, has confessed her undying love for one of the most famous guys at U.A.; you're just venting gossiping about it with Mei, not knowing Bakugou Katsuki is right around the corner, listening;

Warnings: None. Well, Bakugou Katsuki having various anger induced strokes > the normal > no warnings; light crackfic? subtle ending;

Word count: 4.5k;

[ Part 2 ];

"She confessed to him." You grinned, throwing a bunch of fries into your mouth like the absolute animal you were.

Mei on the other hand continued her work on whatever in the world her new prototype, or "baby", was. Still, you had the honor of having half of her attention, which was a compliment to say at least.

She just smiled, shaking her head, leading you to continue, not knowing a blond was quite literally behind the corner, just outside the door leading to the support department, frown on his face.

"She came to class giggling like an idiot saying she's got a plan." You made a face into the distance, remembering your classmate's obnoxious squeal. "Ugh, she started telling the Divas how she's gonna have The Bakugou Katsuki in the bag." An ugly snort left your body, which earned an amused chuckle from Mei.

Both of you were pretty well known to be very good friends, and as much as you hated to admit it, you were both quite the social pariahs too. She was a little bit strange or weird, as some called her, but not for a single second she cared, which was the reason you admired the girl so much in the first place. Meanwhile you've taken the role of the bitch of the whole school by far. Sadly, you were placed in the same class as your archenemy, only increasing your chances of being called said endearing term.

Middle-school was a nightmare to say at least, getting bullied for your looks, the way you spoke or dressed, anything really as long as you were the one being mocked. And who was the one doing the bullying? Midori. Stunning, graceful, baby-faced Midori. Petite yet elegant, a devil in disguise. Whoever crossed her path suffered her malice unless she had something to gain from them.

And now, sweet Midori was in the U.A.'s General Studies, coinciding with you in the majority but not all classes. It had to do with the tragedy that your quirk was so rare that the principal Nezu had to adjust a new schedule just for you. Just kidding, it was amazing. The actual tragedy was seeing her face every day.

Back to your heartbreaking backstory and origin; time made you tough, comments made you build a wall so tall and thick nobody could crumble it. Backstab after backstab made you learn that not everyone has good intentions, but in your loneliness you found Hatsume Mei. So honest and dedicated, so raw and passionate. A good person. The type of person your parents promised you'd someway cross paths with and gain such a strong friendship that nothing could tear it apart.

Becoming friends with her was easy, kinda. It took snapping back at Midori when she started her normal bullying routine on Mei, which ignored it without a care. You stepped in and the rest is history. It did feel good though, calling her a pathetic bitch before turning to the stranger with a cool gadget in her hands to compliment it. And, since she's a sucker for her babies, you had to deal with an hour of sparkly eyes and monologues about her plans and prototypes.

Funny girl, Mei. You remember thinking but the following day you passed by her usual spot to fill your curiosity, asking if she did solve the problem she was complaining about.

"He was the one she was planning to ask out?" She screamed at you, head inside a giant metal gauntlet and the reason you two started talking about said man in particular. News were extra-fresh anyway.

"Oh, yeah!" You shook your head, ashamed to exist in the same general proximity as a person like your former bully. "He's gonna be so rich and famous!" A high pitched squeal left your mouth as you tried to copy her voice. "Poor fucking guy, if only he knew."

"But people know she's a bitch!" She screamed again, repairing or adjusting something with almost all of her body inside the gauntlet. A smile, genuine and soft this time, formed on your face. The pink-haired girl wasn't one to talk bad about others or even care, but it was clear she wasn't particularly fond with Midori either, although the conversation was more for you to vent rather than gossip. Sure it was.

"Like the people from the Hero Department even care about us, the commoners." With a roll of the eyes, you followed. "If he's smart, he'll run away. If he's an asshole, he could use her too."

"What do you mean?" Pink flocks of hair suddently submerged from the gadget, eyes curious zooming on you. That probably got more than 50% of her attention and it was a new personal goal while she was at the workshop.

With shrugged shoulders, your answer came nonchalant. "He could date her and dump her like she's nothing. Would serve her right for all the shit she's talking about him." But the only response you got was a short quizzical look, followed by your exagerated sigh. "She's talking shit about him constantly, but then says he's hot and that his personality doesn't matter anyway. Money, fame, looks. She has a whole fucking life-plan! Then calls him a rabid dog!"

"Woah—" that surprised her.

"Woah indeed! Insane. It's insane. I don't know the guy but no one deserves that shit." When you got no response, you continued your speech, munching in the food with passionate hunger, words coming out almost indistinguishable. "Doubt he'd play her though. He looks like a smart guy. I've seen the Sports Festival—" you picked up your burger, giving it heart eyes. "—and I've seen the news. He's probably a good guy too, the issue is people don't see that and... Well, I understand what's it to be judged... Not many have what it takes to be a real hero but he does. Hope he finds happiness in life." Much talk for someone that doesn't know shit about the guy in particular, but even so faint, your gut instinct was trained well enough to spot malice and he lacked that. "And a therapist." And there's the little shit in you that had to drop a cheeky comment.

Mei's gaze turned downwards and even if you could see her brain do mental gymnastics to solve whatever problem she had in front of her super-eyes, she also contemplated your words with great care.

"He comes here from time to time—" she grins, smacking the grenade looking gauntlet with her weird utensil. "I noticed you two are similar." Your face twisted, eyes wide towards the girl.

Similar how? He was loud, bold with a foul mouth, definitely needed a therapist for those unresolved anger issues... But he was also bright as in whenever he went, people looked in his direction, like he shined; obviously strong, also from what you've heard smart, popular, lucky to be surrounded by kind people. Example being that very nice pink girl that had a joyous conversation with you the very first day of school and, much to your surprise, continued greeting and having sweet small talks with you every single time you saw each other. Or the blond haired guy that showed off a little bit too much and made dumb flirty comments with no bad intentions, the same blond that waved at you with enthusiasm when you'd cross paths. There was the red-head, Kirishima, that was an absolute gentleman, opening doors for you even if you had two functioning hands and smiled so bright it made your corneas burn, or also the dark haired guy, Sero, that you've seen helping literally anyone in need around the school campus with an easy going attitude and gentle grins. Bakugou Katsuki was surrounded by good people, good heroes just as amazing as him and if they liked him, he must've definitely had some good in him, right? Another point appeared in your mental presentation about the brash hero in the making was that he was way too attractive but the wise burried deep inside of you made that particular point dissappear. No need to think about that. Overall you weren't even remotely similar. Not even close. Two completely different human beings from two completely different worlds that would never collide. With that being said, there was the small chance that Mei hinted for you to get a therapist too, who knows.

"How even—"

"I mean!" She screwed something in place. "I mean in your— determination?"

"I wouldn't know that." You muttered.

"He screams I'm gonna be the best every time he's here—"

"Cute..." You vomit that endearment without thinking, but thankfully it got ignored.

"—and it always reminds me of you." A small chuckle left your mouth.

"Don't make fun of me."

"You say it too~"

"I just heal, Mei, it's not the same." Principal Nezu's speech, the speech he gave your parents months into the first year as they found themselves aware of your power made you hold your words. You had it in you. The potential. If incredible people like your teachers, like Shuzenji Chiyo or Principal Nezu twisted things around for your quirk, for how rare and powerful it is, you'd accept it.

"But you're gonna be the best healer ever, aren't you?" She taunted.

"Of course. Which reminds me—!"

"Hmm?" Her attention faded away slightly, but it wasn't a problem.

She cheered, both at you and at her finished masterpiece and proceeded to eat too, passing through the lunch hour without interruption.

"Recovery Girl is putting me on active duty at the infirmary from now on. Finally!"

Innocent pale purple eyes stared into deep crimson ones, furrowed brows covering them.

—

Bakugou Katsuki wasn't one to enjoy being annoyed or surprised and this extra managed to make him feel both things in a short notice.

Everyone around him froze in fear or wonder, awaiting his response without breathing or moving an inch. Meanwhile Whoever-she-was held a pink envelope in front of him, a perfume too sweet coming from it making him want to literally gag in the spot.

Another thing the boy did not appreciate was to have someone bullshit him. His senses were telling him to back off, alarms ringing in his head and those purple eyes held hidden intentions; he wasn't having any of it.

"Fuck off." He snapped, yet his stance was casual as he refused to move out of her way since she was the one that had the audacity to run into him.

Some gasps, even coming from his so-called idiotic friends, could be heard and an indignant Bakubro behind him as he got slapped in the shoulder but he did not care. Not until her lips started to tremble as she retreated her confession letter towards her chest dramatically. His eyebrow started to twitch at the sight.

It was a spectacle for anyone surrounding him.

"What's going on?" Shushes and whispers.

"Bakugou Katsuki just got a confession!" Gossip.

"What!? Who?!" Confusion.

"You said Bakugou Katsuki?!" Shock.

"Oh, she's pretty!" Awe.

"He told her to Fuck off! What an asshole!" Outrage.

"Is that Midori?" Surprise.

"The nerve—" Anger.

"Midori from—" Disbelief.

"Oh, my God, she's really doing it~!" Giggles.

He frowned deeper. If people were to talk about him, they should be talking about all the crap he's been doing and all the lives he saved, not because of a fake bimbo decided to cross his path.

Bakugou wasn't stupid either. With time he knew these things would eventually come in his direction, stuff he'd have to deal with in the future as fame would take over, but not now. He did not have time to entertain this show anyway.

There was only one destination in his mind and she was keeping him in the middle of the whole school cafeteria with prying eyes on them both.

"Bakugou, do something, she's about to cry!" Dunce Face harshly whispered, but turned towards the white haired girl that looked devastated in front of them. "Ignore him! Ask me out, I would never make you cry!"

He rolled his eyes so back in his head it almost hurt. With a need to hurl the food he just ate, he made a step to leave the scene but small hands with claw-like fingernails gripped his arm and he looked at her in utter disgust.

"No, I would never! He—" she sniffled but had no tears in her eyes. He gave her a scowl, trying to take his arm out of her grip but she scratched him in place with her tiny rat hands. "You're the one I love! I—" her bangs covered her face as she continued her show.

"Bakugou! Dude! Do something!" Shitty Hair said, his dumb and blind trust in people buying the act. A vein almost popped on Bakugou's forehead.

"I fucking said—" he pulled his arm so hard she fell on her knees by his side. "Fuck. Off."

Another set of gasps filled the room.

"Bakugou!"

One thing he did not want, even if he could tell it was a foul theater, was to hurt somebody. His asshole act ended at that but his pride stopped him from saying anything.

Glancing to see if she's hurt, Pink Idiot was by her side, helping her up and asking way too many fucking questions.

"No, I'm fine..." she said with such a meek voice he scoffed, also hearing all the shit everyone around him was talking.

"He's such a brute."

"What a mean guy—"

"She's crying!"

"Fucking asshole."

He gritted his teeth.

After the disaster with the League of Villains in the first year, people started to respect him for who he was yet one single, minuscule shit like this and they were all at his jugular.

"I took Bakugou-san by surprise." She excused his behavior to Ashido, which then suggested they should eat lunch together sometimes to make up for the trouble after apologizing in his behalf.

"Yeah, we'd love to have you around! Isn't that right, Bakugou?" The apologetic and almost pleading voice of his blond friend, if he ever was going to call him that anymore, just made him bare his teeth. If they wanted to get played like fools it was their problem, not his.

And that's how he found himself eavesdropping on the weirdo and an extra.

And with a single "Whatever." he left the cafeteria, going to check if his gauntlets were ready, annoyance oozing off him, making the sea of people part from his path. Except he didn't notice you rushing away a little bit in front of him, holding a bag of food, all amused.

Why the fuck was everyone talking about him? Can't they fucking keep his pretty name outta their mouths? With time and without finding a reason why the hell he was glued in place, he listened attentively, his suspicions confirmed and his ego hurt, but whoever was talking about him calmed his nerves a lot. He just needed to put a face to that voice. Just to see who's gossiping about him, nothing else.

—

With a full belly and a whole afternoon to study by Recovery Girl's side, you marched towards the infirmary after you bid your farewell to Mei. There was still time to walk around, grab something sweet for later and save any poor soul that Midori decided to sink her teeth in. It was common at this point, you getting in between her and her victims and taking the hit, yet somehow also being called a bitch by everyone. That's how high-school worked. She did have friends and they spread any word she spat. Vultures.

It was fine though. Hero [Y/N] is there to save the day no matter what. You scoffed at your own stupidity, turning the corner just to step on a leg that was sprawled on the floor.

He clicked his tongue, getting up with no worry in the world, but made no action to leave, settling for observing and analyzing you way too intensely.

"Watch where the fuck you're going, idiot." The man of the hour, the guy you've defended in front of your friend just screamed at you as he dusted off the imprint of your shoe left on his pants. Meanwhile you just paled in place before regaining your composture.

"Why are you sitting on the floor?" You said, tilting your head with a frown, already knowing you will not apologize.

Unimpressed by what was going on, even if you truly couldn't point out what really was going on, you made an attempt to move past him towards the vending machines not far behind, but he caught your arm in a firm grip.

You blinked stupidly at the skin contact.

"Heard you were talkin' shit."

Your stomach dropped. Legs almost gave up too if it weren't for his iron grip holding you still. In the silence and at the satisfaction of the reaction you let out, he smirked and raised his chin, only Mei's singing voice coming from her workshop could be heard. Realization hit you. Hit you? Bitchslapped you in the face and left a mark for sure, because your cheeks started feeling heated, tingly.

He dragged you away, maybe to have the privacy to murder you in peace, but your common sense kicked in and you came back from the land of the mortified.

Much like he did before, action you saw with your two own eyes and repeated, you pulled out of his strong grip and stared as he turned towards you, mouth already opened to probably eat you alive.

"I wasn't talking shit about you, dude." You quickly spoke first.

"You don't fucking know me." He growled back, taking a step towards you but like hell you'd back down.

"Don't need to be besties to say what I said." Without understanding why he was so agitated, the only thing left to do after this beautiful turn of events was to defend the honor remaining in you, so you raised your chin to be at par with him. The action clearly took him by surprise, making him glare more, if even possible.

"I don't fucking appreciate when extras talk about me behind my back!"

"I don't give a shit what you appreciate, dude." Your laugh was the complete opposite of his menacing loud voice, like ying and yang.

"Bakugou, the name's fucking Bakugou, you extra!" Bakugou recovered quickly at your snappy self, getting more bothered as you talked.

"Okay, dude." His hands fisted, shaking in place as he stared you down but did not continue.

Silence; the hallway was now filled with silence as he boiled in his own anger and as you raised your brows in confusion. Now what? Was it time to leave? You've never met anyone like him, this was peculiar—

"NOW IT'S WHEN YOU FUCKING TELL ME YOUR SHITTY NAME, YOU FUCKING DUMBASS!"

A second passes; two; at the third you're wheezing your lungs out, laughing at the ridiculousness of the scenario.

"What the fuck are you LAUGHING AT?!" His voice got louder just to top your howling. You did not expect that.

Through a sigh, regaining your breath, you say "It's [L/N] [Y/N].", seeing him retreat in his form and cross his arms. He was still seizing you up.

"If you have shit to say to me, say it to my fucking face, understood?"

"I—... Say what now?"

"I—." He copied in a mock, getting an incredulous look from you. "You stupid or what?" Your upper lip lifted, ready to cuss him to infinity and beyond but he continued. "Like about that bitch from before and shit—" even if he still was loud, he placed his hands in his pockets and looked more interested in the way the tiles on the wall were placed instead of your person. "An' like you told the weirdo—"

No time to be shocked at the implied; his last word enraged you, making your body shake with rage. "Don't fucking dare to call her a weirdo ever again."

Like a challenge, he snapped his face back at you, ready to take it.

"Or what?"

"Listen here, fucker—" now that was a nice surprised face he was pulling. "Just because I gave you a pat on the back in there doesn't mean you can disrespect people just because you think you're the shit. You're not. Now get out of my fucking way." With a final push to his shoulder, your mind was focused on going to the infirmary, steam almost coming out of your nostrils.

"Hey, extra!"

Ignore him, ignore him, ignore him. went through your mind, marching away without a glance back. Not until—

"[L/N]! You're a healer, hah?" That's interesting. He stood where you left him, watching.

"What's it to you?"

Someone sane would've left at your tone but this guy walked towards you then showed you his arms, recently scratched. Images came back to you about the cafeteria incident but did not underst—... did he want to get healed?

You scoffed.

"They're scratches, dude."

"They annoy me. Now heal." All the energy you had left in your body was channeled towards the slow blink you threw at him, at which he scoffed. But they did look nasty— and Midori did them. It was a curse by itself to look down at your own arms and remember that face, so the guardian angel in you decided to take control and be the better person.

Gentle fingers barely tapped his muscular arm. Smile crept up on your lips, feeling absolutely delighted at his obvious stiffness at the skin contact and the clear interest in his eyes, specially when the scratches started disappearing into nothing, leaving smooth silk skin under.

"Hey— Wha— Where the fuck do you think you're going?!" raspy voice got lost in the distance and one thought in your head.

"Want a lollipop for being a good patient too?" You mock and his face explodes in all shapes of red. It would've been great to mock him more, enthralled by his reactions, but with that you turned and left, ignoring the tingling under your fingers that should not be there and your stomping heart.

Did he wait all the lunchbreak to talk to you?

—

A long queue was ahead of you, earning the longest sigh out of your lungs. Life was pain sometimes. Mei couldn't hang out, food was too far away, the delicious croissants Lunch Rush made ran out as far as you could see. Pain. Just pure pain.

And disappointment. When you walked away with your food in a bag, maybe to sit under a tree and enjoy some peace and quiet, you saw her. Midori sitting at a table you did not expect. At the same table where Ashido Mina, Denki Kaminari, Kirishima Eijirou and Hanta Sero sat at. Good people. Honest, good people about to get bitten by a snake. If she was there, then Bakugou decided—

"You. Sit."

Thinking about the boy somehow summoned him behind you. Food in hand and bored expression on his face, he passed you not without giving you a stink eye. Indeed, disappointment.

You shrugged, trying not to pay much attention to the pang in your heart as you moved forward, but a voice— his voice stopped you in your tracks.

"You. Get the fuck out of my face." His growl made everyone around him turn to watch, you being one of them. There was no excuse to what came next, no way to run away past it and dissappear. He nodded his head at you out of all people and pointed at the seat still occupied by Midori; her purple eyes big, shocked, running between your frame and the blond's.

Do you know what it felt to be put in the spotlight without warning? Well, congratulations because that was your life now.

"Ba—Bakugou-san?" Her voice, now highed up and meek followed, then a small scream as Bakugou slammed his food on the table. His friends sat there, wide-eyed, but made no attempt to interrupt.

"Did I fucking stutter, bitch? Or want me to turn into a rabid dog for fucking real?"

You choked on your own spit, bag of goodies about to drop on the floor once you saw her horrified face. She knew that he knew. And when her pale eyes, filled with sudden malice, act dropped, turned to you it's when you realized she figured out where he found out from.

Not like you cared, really, but the little shit that always had to poke out every time she was in the same room as you decided to finally show up, making you wave and send her a wink.

"I said MOVE!" now— that growl, raspy and filled with anger startled her. The orange juice in her hands spilled all over her uniform and woke her up from whatever delusion she was in. With zero time to reconsider, every belonging of hers was picked up with trembling hands and she ran away to her group of cockroaches.

A smile was already settled on your face; your brain was storing that whole interaction deep within, ready to bring it back up whenever you needed a good laugh.

Life was pain and disappointment, you say? No. Life was great. Or more importantly, Bakugou was. Not like he needed to know. But he was a decent guy as he proved—

"THE FUCK YOU STANDING THERE LIKE A DUMBASS?! I SAID SIT!" —to be a pain in the fucking ass and the bane of your existence.

You gave him a face then turned to walk away, even rushing more when you heard his chair screeching on the floor. The exit was so close, so near, freedom never felt this great, the sunlight kissing your skin giving you a new hope to live. But not for long because he grabbed your hand and started dragging you towards his table.

Your hand was in his hand and he was dragging you—

Your hand— his big, warm, a little bit sweaty hand—

How could you ruin such a beautiful moment? Eyes on you two, shocked, silence, his adorable red ears being the only thing you could see as he was completely in front of you, still dragging you towards his friends...

"Did you wait all lunchbreak yesterday to talk to me?" You collided into him as you finished the sentence, his way taller form stiffened so much you felt you single-handedly broke Bakugou Katsuki for good.

But when he turned... Oh, when he turned. Biggest deer-caught-in-the-headlights eyes you've ever seen on anyone, cheeks painted so red you almost melted in the spot, lips trembling as his head worked a thousand miles per second just to find a retort. And you prepared yourself for—

"NO, I FUCKING DIDN'T! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU FUCKING EXTRA? I'D NEVER WAIT FOR SOMEONE LIKE YO— ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!" Mina's waving hand caught your attention and smiled at her. Your hand was still in his, gripped harshly as he still hasn't noticed it's still there.

"Hey! [L/N], long time no see!" She cheered, ignoring the living shit out of her screaming friend, like she's used to it.

"FUCKING LOOK AT ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU—"

"Hey, chill, dude. Now let go of my hand, I wanna talk to Ashido." You smiled sweetly, making extra effort to wave your linked hands arond until he finally noticed. He zapped his hand away so fast, like he's been bitten by a wild animal. Maybe even a rabid dog, if you will.

You couldn't ignore your own flustered state as you walked past him, giving him a one up, adding the absolute scandalized face he had into the back of your mind for safekeeping.

"Come sit with us!" The pinkette offered.

"Oh, hey, I know you! You're by Hatsume's workshop all the time!" Kirishima intervened with a surprised face that broke into a grin. "Nice to officially meet—"

"I fucking said." he appeared, sitting in front of you. "My name's Bakugou."

"Ok, dude, but I'm talking to someon—"

"BAKUGOU KATSUKI!" Could be heard from the stratosphere.

Note: I just realized Midori means Green [ fucking duh ] but I'm not gonna change the name or her description. I think her parents fucking up her name was the start of many accidents leading into the Midori we all know and hate. Also, I know you understand. We all know a Midori in our lives. Much love.

Note 2: I keep editing it but tumblr dot com slash Install App on Phone fucks my editing and switches paragraphs all around! If you find any PLEASE tell me, I'd really appreciate it!!!

[zackmartin]

i know i’ve already asked for one but if you’re feeling up to it!! how about one for @neshatriumphs 👉🏾👈🏾

Mana, you can send me literally as many as you think of because I will never grow tired of giving love to my friends. And I'm so glad you sent me Nesha because I always want to give her love 💕

I know this is an odd place to do this, but I just want to clear the air with her first real quick and say when I was yelling the other day about people not liking my posts, I wasn't speaking directly to her. I had strangers that had literally never spoken to me and literally never liked my posts, liking my ones about being a bad friend and maybe they just. Understood the feeling or something but I was so upset it felt like they were agreeing so I got mad but. I know when she likes my posts it's her way of saying "I hear you and I love you" so. That wasn't aimed at her.

But, anyway!!!! There's so much I want to say here but I don't know how to articulate it! I feel like her and I sort of have a connection that I've never quite had with anyone else, and I cherish it so much. Like, she told me the other day that I might be one of the only ones that truly understands her heart, but I feel like I understand it because mine is similar in a lot of ways. She's one of those people that I know she goes through things and I just. It hurts me that I don't have the power to take it away or make it stop, but I hope that whatever I can provide gives her at least some kind of relief, even if it ends up it's just for a moment. Anybody that knows her, knows of her immense talent, like Road to Dystopia was a masterpiece and she gave us the Iconic Throuple that is Max/Charlotte/Chase (chasing thunderbolts? Is that correct, I cant remember). Like, name a more iconic trio, you can't. And I think she wrote a fic around when the pandemic started and I still think about it because it was so raw and real and amazing and just. So uniquely Nesha, and I mean that in the absolute best way possible. Like I just mean she knows how to write in a way that makes you truly feel both for the characters and what the characters are feeling. ALSO HER ART!!! I don't even care if I know the fandom or not, I see her art, I will appreciate it cause it's all god tier. And we all know she's one of the most supportive people in this fandom, like I'm sure she's sick of me bringing up her support of DoD but I never quite had friends in my life that cared about my projects that much or really showed any interest at all, so to have someone that supports it so much, especially when a lot of us kinda hate HD now and she isn't really familiar with Suite Life besides me going insane and the few episodes we streamed, is just. That's an indescribable feeling that I'll never be able to fully thank her for. That fic is as much hers as it is mine now, like I'll literally write it thinking "will Nesha like this?" and if the answer is no, that part gets scrapped 😂 and I don't mean that in a pressuring way but just, she inspires me to be better. I've been contemplating coming to her for her zodiac knowledge because I'm deciding the birthdays of some OCs and if there is anyone's opinion I trust on the matter, it'd be hers 😂

This is already so long and I could honestly go on all night, but basically I just hope she knows how much I love and cherish her and how much she truly means to me 💕💕

@neshatriumphs

send me a tumblr user's url and I'll tell you what I think of them

[fawntastic]

tbh Ishida making all the (explicitly) trans characters violent, unstable and malicious rlly says something about him and his values.

I remember reading :re and being like, "whoa, Mutsuki and Kanae were literally the same character" (and then there was also the big madame, where he just slipped it in at the end that she was actually biologically male like bestie why was that relevant. It seems like slander to me bitch)

Also like. As a mentally unstable, gender confused 13/14 year old reading this shit, I really related to both Mutsuki and Kanae. I definitely liked Kanae more than Tooru, probably from a character design standpoint (I mean c'mon Kanae's design is so hot), but overall I found Tooru more relatable. But can I just describe the similarities between the two, because this really irks me:

- Both were orphaned at a young age (9-10)

- Both were taken in, where they decided to begin their transition

- Both were pretty much, at least emotionally, dependent on some dude for their happiness (Shuu for Kanae and Sasaki/Kaneki for Tooru)

- Both were fiercely protective of this person, bordering on obsessive

- Both were presented as mentally unstable/having what I'd describe as not the best control of their emotions.

- Both ended up being abducted and tortured until their personalities became warped/were driven to insanity

- Both became murderous, violent, unstable and almost unstoppable, especially when that dude they were emotionally dependant on was in danger/taken away from them

- Both sought for this dude who was oblivious to their feelings to reciprocate them

- Both had a tendency (probably more with Kanae) to be manipulative at times and gaslight-y

There's probably more but this most wack thing to me was

- BOTH were presented (at times) as just confused women, posing and pretending to be men for whatever reason.

(some of these also apply to the Big Madame)

I can't begin to describe how unhealthy this is, both in terms of what this tells us about the writer's mindset, and for potential readers. Ishida sets a precedent for transmasc/trans people in general to be just pretending for ulterior motives, mentally unfit and dangerous, the inclusion of the Big Madame as a trans woman furthering this notion. The way both Kanae and Tooru are written implicitly conveys that all trans people are the same, or at least similar. This reinforces SO MANY negative stereotypes about trans people, and given the popularity of the series in general, it probably spread some of these ideologies. Whilst I can't say if this was intentional on Ishida's behalf, it just hurts.

Also I know you probably can't tell from my blog, but I am a digital artist (to some capacity lmaooooo). And from an artistic standpoint, I think Tokyo Ghoul is a masterpiece. I love the artwork. So. Much. I'm so inspired by it,,,y'all have NO IDEA. And so naturally, like a normal, non-obsessive person, I own the artbooks. Both of them. And I CANNOT deal with how much Ishida refers to Kanae and Mutsuki (he tends to refer to Mutsuki as 'they' a lot tho) with she/her pronouns within the :re one. Like bestie. I can't. Also idk if any of you owned like, vol 5. of :re or whatever but anyway at the back of it there's this picture of Kanae, really cool, but it's like his 'proper profile' where it says that he's a girl or whatever (I pretend I do not see it). And Ishida's comment in the artbook is this "Here's a girly Kanae. Kind of how I see her ideally"

(Idk why I even included this, I should have used a better example but the pic was already on my phone). Anyway, Idk why but it really ticks me off, just the way he talks about his AFAB and Female characters. There's like 0 respect there bestie. The fact that all his good female characters, Touka, Akira, Hinami etc were just reduced to mum-wives and baby machines (Miza is a BEAST. Why did he make her have like 10 kids istg) or were just written out of the story is so insulting. He also just, especially in the artbooks, tends to sexualise them, not really commenting about them but about their bodies/hair, I remember he was discussing Touka in one of the artbooks (I think) and all he said was "I love this hairstyle on women" like wtf. Tell me about her and not her hair. Also the only (technically canon) lesbian (Hsiao from the new Quinx group) was just SO SEXUALISED, like it was her entire character, every joke about her was about how sexy she was I can't stress enough how disgusting an disrespectful it is. It's almost like Ishida can't write about anyone other than straight men...whoa...

Anyway uh. You already knew all this, I just wanted to rant, Tokyo Ghoul is a mess and this is El, signing out.

((Also all of this is just my opinion, take it with a whole teaspoon of salt please :) ))

The way Ishida talks abt Kanae is slightly

✨ i c k y ✨