#it's also just felt like something Paulo would find cool

[bittersweetcandyblog]

Lazy Paulo Moodboard

Credits (x x x - x x x - x x x)

[lacktastrophe]

The page to page observations make some sense as to the mixed options of the fanbase, but at the same time it can be difficult to figure out how we should view the characters. Are we supposed to like them? Hate them? Be indifferent to them? My opinions of each character are on a roller coaster every time, even if I reread the story multiple times. I understand it's a dramatic/ realistic approach to high school drama, but then how do we know who's growing in character and who isn't? (1/2)

This one took some time to get back to, sorry!

I find it's better to empathise with them. It might be easier if you're older. Personally speaking, I feel like the majority of people in their late teens to early 20's tend to ride their emotions on characters, particularly with things they relate to them, whether thats how they behave or the situations they've encountered, like being cheated on, betrayed, assaulted, etc. This is a broad generalisation though. It's taken me a number of re-reads to form my own better understanding of the characters, and not to mention I tend to feel a lot of people don't enjoy looking at things like characters holistically, or feel they don't have the time to commit to that.

I used to have favourites when I started reading the story, Paulo was cool, I felt for Lucy, resented Mike, but after a certain point in time I started to really care about how each of the characters has been put together and the reasons for why they were the people they became. I found it harder to outright hate them after that point, and at the very least I just pity them because they've all got inhibitions and traits to them they've yet to overcome.

Abbey was probably a great example of this because I was never a fan for him when I first started reading the comic, though I suppose that's because at the same time I was also riding that Paulo and Lucy would be a thing before re-reading and realising how much of a problem that would be. When I cared to look at Abbey carefully (as I also did in the megapost) things started to click and I started to see new things about the character, you know, one that ultimately had a great sense of morals and ideals, but was far too inexperienced when it came to relationships and friendships to know when it was necessary to involve himself, and when he shouldn't. Such was the case when he could have likely done something with Lucy and Mike's failing friendship, or involve himself with his then-girlfriend friendships with another character whom he resented.

Which characters you like or dislike is ultimately up to you. I wouldn't feel too pressured to need to follow the 'collective hivemind' as it were of any fandom. You don't tend to know how the others are all reading the story, if they care for the characters etc. So I'd be hard pressed to say you should let it influence how you enjoy the story. I'd feel this with any fandom, BCB or not. Being part of the discussion doesn't necessarily mean trying to fit in with the majority with who is universally good or bad but having civil discussion as to the direction they're taking, and at least ensuring both sides acknowledge the flaws in the characters before dictating whether the development is good or not.

[thewanderingace]

Okay I'm a little less emotional now and I've processed a bit so here's my disorganized thoughts during and about Lucifer season 6

Massive MASSIVE amount of spoilers under the cut!!

Lucifer has been my favorite show for the last 5 years and I've been through so many ups and downs with it that saying goodbye to it was HARD. The whole season just utterly wrecked me. I think I cried at least twice an episode but the final 2 episodes was non stop sobbing. Non stop.

To me, it felt like this season was one long goodbye and I loved it. Not just the cast and crew saying goodbye to the fans and the show but it gave us a way to say our goodbyes to the characters through them and I'm grateful for that. Did it hurt like a bitch the whole time? Oh yeah. My heart aches. But we got to say goodbye and it's not often we get to do that with tv shows. Even if not everything went the way I wanted to, I'm okay with that. I cried my eyes out the whole time and for hours afterwards but now that my emotions have settled somewhat, I'm okay with it all. I kinda like the bittersweetness of it.

Overall I loved the final season. It had some great funny moments, soooooo much intimate Deckerstar I mean the love between them is palpable every second they're together, and so many great character moments. This was really about the characters and the emotions and less about murders and action and plot. And as a fan of emotional character moments I loved that. And Tom's acting was fucking out of this world. I mean they all were but Tom especially gave the performance of a lifetime in my opinion.

Going into this final season my checklist of things I want to see happen was as follows:

Ella finds out the truth about the celestials

Lucifer does not become God. In fact I want him to focus on changing hell and helping people move on past their guilt and go to Heaven. Like Dan. I want him to help people like Dan. Or just change the system entirely so people like Dan don't end up in Hell

Amenadiel does become God

Linda continues being the therapist to the celestials

No more Maze and Lucifer fighting with each other

Dan moving on to Heaven and being with Charlotte

Ella being happy with Carol

Deckerstar happy and together at the end

That was everything I wanted and you know what? I GOT IT!

Ella not only found out that they were all celestials, she figured it out on her own!! She's so smart! And I love how she was just 100% cool with it all because her faith has always been so strong. It was the fact that they didn't tell her that upset her and yeah I'm upset about that too and I really wish one of them had told her that they didn't tell her because they didn't want to hurt her. Linda and Chloe both knew how difficult it was for them to learn and Lucifer saw how affected they were. So they were in a way trying to protect Ella from pain. She had every right to be mad and upset. But I'm thrilled she is in the know now and the way she ran after Amenadiel to see him fly was amazing.Just the look on her face as she saw an angel fly was perfect.

I liked Linda's boredom with human problems as a therapist and how she's feeling unfulfilled in regular day to day problems. It's something I wondered about last season and I'm glad it was addressed. And I love that she continues to treat celestials like Adam XD. I wonder if her practice will just turn into a celestial therapy practice. Angels, demons, etc. All are welcome and she'd be amazing at it.

This is the best that Lucifer and Maze's relationship has ever been and I am LOVING IT! He asked for her advice and she didn't make fun of him or say something mean, she actual gave him her advice and he listened to it! Maze then supported his awkward ways of trying to get to know Rory and tried to show Rory that's he's trying! And when she asked him for help with Adam he came! And he listened to her!! She said her feelings and he listened!! And reacted appropriately!! AND HELPED HER!! "My best fiends wedding" omg!!! AND THEN!! He openly admits that she's his best friend during his goodbye!! I love it!! And he opens his arms for a hug!! AND THEY ACTUALLY HUGGED!!! Maze and Lucifer this season was so good!!!!

I had a feeling even before going into this season that Lucifer would not end up as God but that Amenadiel would and I am soooo glad that that is what happened! Lucifer as God didn't feel right and I'm glad there was a several episode long arc of Lucifer slowly coming to realize that not only is it not his calling but he doesn't want to do that job. He wants to help people but not like that. I love that growth for him.

I actually really liked Carol and I think he and Ella are cute together and I hope they'll be very happy. I mean the cuteness factor of them doing bad karate moves together nearly killed me. I also loved that Ella's trauma with Pete didn't go away but was embraced. Of course she wouldn't be okay after all that and I'm glad the writers didn't ignore it.

THE DECKERSTAR!!! THIS SEASON WAS PEAK DECKERSTAR AND I AM LIVING!!!! Where do I even start with this?! The Deckerstar love this season was so high that it destroyed me at the end. I mean the touches, the looks, the hugs, the kisses, the dancing, the dates, the beach cuddle, the nose kisses, the forehead kisses, the casual I love yous, the flying together, sexy times, the mutual support for each other, the pure LOVE between was so incredible. The fact that they had to be separated for so long, Lucifer alone in Hell and Chloe raising two kids alone, fucking hurts me heart so damn much but we got so many wonderful moments with them that it will sustain me. I mean their goodbye was so fucking beautiful and I'm devastated. It wouldn't so much if they're love wasn't so beautiful.

Some other things I really enjoyed about the season:

Lucifer geeking out about magic! That was hilarious and I loved how he tried so hard to not know how the tricks worked.

All of Episode 3. I really enjoyed this episode for a variety of reasons. 1 being the funny craziness of the cartoon hell loop. I mean that was bonkers and I couldn't stop laughing. I loved it. I also loved seeing Lucifer under control of the hell loop and how he made it so Jimmy could be with him mom. But what I loved most about it is this glimpse into what I assume Chloe and Lucifer are doing post show (also kinda confirmed by Ildy and Joe). We see the two of them investigating people's (Jimmy Barnes') hell loops for answers to their guilt in order to help them move onto Heaven. I love that with all my heart. They both continue to help people, Lucifer using what he's learned from Linda to help them with their emotions and Chloe using her badass detective skills to find the answers. They're gonna help so many people.

Lucifer's realization that he ends up caring for people he tries to help and how that's actually a good thing. That it's something to embrace. He's come so far emotionally and I'm so proud of him.

Lucifer's to do list made me laugh so much. Look at this:

Become God

Prove I love Rory

Check in with Father Frank

Azrael's blade still secure?

Start calling Dan "Casper"

Rewatch Bones

Visit Sao Paulo

Try Golden Gate with Chloe First of all the second thing is to prove he loves Rory? AORABLE!! But what caught my eye next is check in with Father Frank. FATHER FRANK!! IS HE IN HELL?!?! DOES LUCIFER CHECK IN WITH HIM A LOT??? Rewatch Bones! Call Dan Casper! I don't even want to know what Golden Gate is XD

Dad!Lucifer. Oh my god I never expected to enjoy Lucifer as a dad as much as I did. Lucifer would have been the best dad and he proved that. The presents he would have given his daughter were perfect, the talks between the two of them, the love he has for Rory was palpable and beautiful. I mean he barely knew her for a few moments and he immediately fell in love with her and would do anything for her. He loved Rory so much and he so desperately wanted to be in her life and it KILLS me that he didn't get to do that. His face when she made him promise to not change things was DEVASTATING! He wanted to be her dad. He wanted to see her grow up. And he didn't get that chance!! I HATE THIS!!! He would have been/was the best dad ever! The montage of them spending the day together was perfection. Sumo wrestling, water balloon fights, shopping, snacks, watching Bones together, his face while listening to her talk about More Bones. It was perfect and exactly how Lucifer would be as a Dad. Fun, attentive, caring. I'm heartbroken.

All of Episode 9. This, to me, felt like the episode for us and the cast and the crew to say goodbye and I'm so grateful for it. Lucifer making the round and saying his goodbyes had me sobbing. I loved them all and I love that Lucifer got say all the things he felt to the people he loved most before he had to leave. Each one was so perfect. Him telling Linda how much he loved her and she is the "most wonderful friends that a devil could ever have". Him telling Ella he was sorry and how he didn't want to leave without her knowing again and the "Ella Lopez STEM Initiative"!!!! I'm gonna cry. Even when he's gone she'll never forget him because of this. Him giving Lux to Amenadiel and telling him that "of all our siblings, I am glad it's you I spent all this time on Earth with. Because you are my favorite brother, brother." I'm dead. Him telling Maze that she is his best friend and he's sorry he didn't always treat her that way. THEIR HUG! His final moment with Dan being the clincher in getting him to Heaven. AND THE FINAL BEACH DAY WITH CHLOE AND RORY WAS SO PERFECT I'M CRYING! The three of them on the drive, Chloe drinking too much champaign, the cuddling on the sand, Lucifer and Rory hugging and their whole talk about how he felt after his father abandoned him. I loved it so much. My only complaint is that I wanted a scene with Trixie too.

Lucifer's love of Bones was really on point this season. I love that detail.

Maze and Eve's wedding. WAS. BEAUTIFUL! I loved their dresses, Linda walking Maze down, Eve owning her own person, their vows, their love, their reception, Maze and Trixie doing their handshake, Dan attending, Lucifer and Chloe being all lovey dovey, Maze's demon family attending as zombies. I loved it all!

Ghost Dan was both crazy funny and so fucking sad. I'm glad he was still here this season and got this arc. Him working through his guilt and moving onto Heaven. I knew all along that Dan's guilt he hadn't worked on was him leaving Trixie and not being a good father to her since he avoided seeing her. I loved that he got a chance to talk to her and that she told him he was being a dummy and she loved him so much.

The music choices. I already lost it at Hazy Shade of Winter but then they went and chose BLACK PARADE for the final scene in Hell and as soon as that first note hit, the fucking G note, I sobbed even harder (as if that was possible).

Bob and Katya cameos!!!

And on that note, I loved all of Lucifer's singing moments. Always do.

Dan playing ping pong with Baliol

But for all the things I loved, there were a few I did not. It's bound to happen and even though they're big they don't change my overall positive feelings about the season.

Here are the things I didn't like:

No Trixie. We barely had any Trixie this season and I hate it. I'm very very happy she was at Maze and Eve's wedding but why was that basically it! Luci didn't even say goodbye to her! They should have had a goodbye scene! Actually, he didn't have any scenes with her in the whole season except forthat tiny scene at the wedding when she asks them when they're getting married and he flounders and she laughs. THAT'S ALL WE GOT!!! I WANTED MORE DAMMIT! SHE WASN'T EVEN THERE WHEN CHLOE DIED!! The scene when she talks to Dan killed me though. I loved that.

This is the biggie. The one that gives me an immense amount of pain and anguish when I think about it because it's so damn sad. Lucifer never gets to see his daughter grow up, never gets to have his family, never sees his family again when they're alive, never gets to spend his life with Chloe on Earth. I understand why he needed to go and stay away from Rory. I do. I get it. But it doesn't make it hurt any less that he spent so so long alone in Hell again. That Chloe had to raise Rory on her own. That Lucifer didn't get to be there for Chloe while she was pregnant, didn't get to see Rory be born, didn't get to be there for her first or watch her grow. And he wanted to be there soooooo badly. It hurts to think about. Does he at least get visits from Amenadiel during this time? Does he get to visit with everyone else, Chloe even, if Rory doesn't know about it? Does he get to know how they're doing? Do they all talk about Lucifer and say they miss him and hope he's okay? Does he get to go up to Heaven occasionally and visit Dan and Charlotte and his siblings? He and Chloe sacrificed so much, Lucifer literally giving up EVERYTHING, so that they're daughter would find her peace. I hate this. It hurts so much.

That's about it I guess. I'm pretty satisfied with everything else.

Oh here are some of my headcanons I use to ease the pain in heart (which turns out both Ildy and Joe all but confirmed after I thought of them but before I could post them. So yay for that!):

Lucifer did stop by and visit Earth during those years as long as he was sure Rory wouldn't find out. A few minutes here and there to see Linda and Charlie, Maze and Eve, and if he could, a few moments with Chloe. Maybe sent notes or stole a few minutes alone with her. All that matter was Rory not knowing it. And if that really couldn't happen then....

Amenadiel visits his brother all the time. He tells him about his family in Earth. How they're doing, what they've been up to, if they're safe happy and healthy. He tells him all about chloe and rory and  brings tons of photos so even though he can't be there in person, he still knows how their lives are.

After Chloe dies and joins him in hell they occassionally take vacations. Now, chloe can't go to earth cause she's dead but they can go to heaven. So they vacation there. Lucifer flies her up and they visit with their family and then have beach days or dance or whatever their heart desires until they go back. Maybe they all have a party together.

Lux is now a part of Hell and is where they live happily together. Since he has control over hell loops he made one into Lux.

After Chloe dies, Rory flies to be with her family in hell as well and she and Lucifer spend eons making up for the time they both missed out on.

Rory and Lucifer go to Earth and check in on Trixie all the time.

Deckerstar spend an eternity happy, helping people work through their guilt and move on to Heaven.

[deadlymodern]

Hi, can I suggest you an idea? It's just that I think you would like the idea (aaand because my editing skills are not good as yours lol). Our beloved city São Paulo is completing 400-and-smth years in two days and I thought you would like to make an edit with some stuff that are characteristic about it? Maybe some famous building or inside joke? Idk lol my mind kept repeating to tell you this and I felt like you are really proud of living here! But only if you want ofc (and if you're not busy!)

That’s such a sweet thing to request, and I’m super super flattered that you thought of me!🥺

I really would love to pull off a cool edit for the occasion, but I haven’t been doing good lately... I think that I’d just loose it if I tried to create a concept, edit and upload something for tomorrow JKDJFLK So I’m not gonna promise anything because I don’t want be a disappointment to anyone else.

I’m sorry, I hope you understand 😔 Also hope you’ll find some nice ways to celebrate and have a nice time during tomorrow’s holiday 🥰

Have a nice day!!  💛  🇧🇷

[fangirlshrewt97]

The Old Guard Fanfic - 5,472,730,538 Possibilities

Author(s): Fangirlshrewt97

Fandom: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)

Pairing: Joe/Nicky, Nicky & Nile

Characters: Nile Freeman, Nicolo di Genova, Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Andromache of Scythia 

Rating: General 

Warnings: None 

Additional Tags:  Team as Family, Family Bonding, Brother-Sister Relationships, Fluff, Basically Nile is missing home, And Nicky is a cinnamon roll who finds a way to lessen the ache, and they find a new thing to bond over that does not involve blood, Sudoku

Summary: 

He reached for his pocket and pulled out a pen, tossing it to Nile. “Why not do it now?” “It doesn’t- It’s not the same.” Nile argued, biting her lip. “But you want to do it no? So do it.” Nicky said, gesturing to the paper. Was it really so easy? She put the pen to the paper but stopped. “Yeah no, it feels weird to do it alone.” Nicky hummed, sitting back up in his chair, leaning on his elbows in the table. “I’ll do it with you then.”

Basically, Nile comes across something that makes her think of home, Nicky sees this, and tries his best to help her not feel as lonely. And is also a little bit of a shit about it.

Link to A03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25553461

                                                     ///

They were in Malaysia, having finished an easy takedown of a small ring of human traffickers. They were due to fly out that night, so Nicky and Nile had been charged with buying the necessary supplies while Joe handled clean up at the scene, and Andy ensured the children would find good homes.

They had stopped at a bakery inside of a mall, Nicky insisting that they had some choice sweets that Andy loved. So Nile had been waiting outside the store while Nicky went to make his purchases when the small bookstore window display across the bakery caught her eye. Biting her lip, she peered to see Nicky was still busy perusing the wares, so she hefted her bags and made her way into the bookstore.

It was a small shop, barely large enough for four people at a time. There was a small kid looking at some comics and a bored cashier scrolling through his phone. Setting her bags down, Nile reached to grab what had caught her eye.

“What is that?” Nicky asked suddenly, startling Nile into dropping the book.

“Shit. Sorry.” Nile mumbled in the direction of the annoyed looking cashier. When she turned, she saw Nicky holding the book.

“101 Sudoku puzzles?” Nicky asked, brows furrowed.

Nile was thankful her skin color meant he couldn’t notice the embarrassed flush overtaking her.

“It is stupid!” Nile said as she snatched the book and put it back on the display, wincing as she realized it would have been more believable if she hadn’t acted like she had something to hide. Nicky had a raised eyebrow, clearly not buying her lie.

Nile sighed. “Seriously, Nicky. It is nothing, can we go? Are you done looking at the bread?”

Nicky gave her a once over, but thankfully let it go, holding up a bag that honestly smelled incredible. Feeling her stomach clench in hunger, she nodded.

“Cool. Let’s go!” Nile said, leading them out of the bookshop into the sweltering Malaysian sun. She definitely did not run. She just… walked fast.

She forgot the incident soon after, Copley sent them on another mission hours after they reached their next safe house, sending them all the way to Brazil, where they had to take down a drug ring and free a brothel filled with women who were being forced to pay back their debts with their bodies.

She was reminded of the incident when something was placed next to her head where it was currently resting on a table’s edge at their São Paulo safe house. It was a small apartment, two bedroom and bathrooms, but it fit their needs. Andy was currently on the phone with Copley, and Joe had gone into the kitchen to make dinner.

When she looked up, she saw a newspaper, and Nicky’s hand covering part of the page. At her questioning look, he just smiled and moved his hand.

Sitting back slowly, she looked at the Sudoku in the newspaper. She raised her own eyebrows at Nicky. The man just smiled wider and sat down. “This is what you were looking at in the bookshop. In Malaysia. A book about these.”

“Um… yeah.” Nile said, surprised the man had remembered. But then again, Nicky seemed to remember everything when it came to stuff that caused his family to have any kind of reaction.

“What about it?” Nicky asked.

“What?”

“Your eyes, they became a little sad when you saw it. What about them makes you sad?” Nicky prodded gently. And Nile couldn’t bring herself to be annoyed at this man who was trying to hard.

She sighed. “It’s nothing.”

“If it was nothing, it wouldn’t make you sigh.”

And that was the thing wasn’t it. “It’s just. Jamal, my brother? We used to play with these.”

Nicky’s brows furrowed in confusion. For a 1000-year old man, he was remarkably expressive at times. “Play these?”

Nile hummed. She picked up the paper, and ran her fingers lightly on the puzzle. “After school, we would take the paper, copy out the puzzle into a notebook and then we would start the clock, seeing who could solve it faster.”

Nile felt a smile start to form on her own face at the thought. She had missed doing these, missed doing them with her brother. Her smile faded when she realized she’d never get to do their Sudoku races together again. Nile placed the paper back down.

When she looked up, Nicky was looking at her intensely. “What?”

Giving a big exhale, he leaned back in his own chair. He reached for his pocket and pulled out a pen, tossing it to Nile. “Why not do it now?”

“It doesn’t- It’s not the same.” Nile argued, biting her lip.

“But you want to do it no? So do it.” Nicky said, gesturing to the paper.

Was it really so easy? She put the pen to the paper but stopped. “Yeah no, it feels weird to do it alone.”

Nicky hummed, sitting back up in his chair, leaning on his elbows in the table. “I’ll do it with you then.”

Nile blinked, but twisted her mouth into a wry grin. “Sure. Ok, here is how you do it. You see how this divided into 9 boxes? The objective of the game is to fill all the boxes in such a way that each box, row, and column has 1 through 9 written on them, with no repeating in them. Like here for example,” she showed one box, “see these four 3’s? That means a 3 can only come here, because it is the only box where it won’t overlap. Got it?”

Nicky hummed concomitantly, his eyes amused. “Yes.”

“Alright, let’s do it then.” Nile said. She shifted her chair so she was next to Nicky, and the pair of them leaned over the puzzle to do it together, Nicky pointing out a few numbers as Nile finished it.

“That was fun.” Nicky said when they completed it. “We should do this again.”

And to Nile’s surprise, she found herself in agreement. She felt a pang of sadness at not doing it with Nicky, but it was still fun. “Yes we should.”

They got another job the next day and were whizzing off again, this time to South Africa. Their safe house in Cape Town was a beach front apartment, bought by Andy back in the 80’s. It was an old building, quiet and creaking, but served its purpose.

Andy was on cooking duty this time, and Nile was given first turn with the shower, when Joe and Nicky returned from their shopping trip for new clothes. Nile did not think she had ever bought this many clothes so quickly in her life, but honestly, she had also not had a habit of constantly getting shot and covering them in blood and bullet holes.

By the time Nile came out, Joe was sitting in front of the TV, flipping channels, probably trying to find a soccer match. Andy had a plate of food and was sitting beside him, more focused on her dinner than the match. When Nicky spotted Nile, he made a happy noise and gestured for her to join him at the dining table.

“I saw these on our way back, and thought that if you did not mind, we could continue that tradition you told me about?” he asked, eyes betraying his excitement, even as his voice remained steady.

“Tradition?” Nile asked.

Nicky nodded and reached for a small brown bag she hadn’t noticed. He pulled out two identical books and a packet of pens, and slid one of each to Nile. Nile bit her lip at the time. 400 Sudoku Puzzles.

“Nicky…” Nile whispered, even as she clutched the book in a white-knuckled grip.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to Nile.” Nicky assured her when he saw her tear up, worry coloring his expression.

And oh, Nile could not stand to see that concern when all this man had tried to do was give her a piece of home back to her.

“No. Thank you. I had fun last time.” she said, giving him a watery smile. He responded in kind. “Are you sure about races though?”

His eyes took on a wicked glint. “Absolutely. It is tradition no?”

Nile chuckled. “Yes.”

“Joe!” Nicky called out, and Joe turned to see him, getting up to come to them when Nicky beckoned. He pressed a quick kiss to Nicky’s hair when he was within reach. “I need you to time us.”

“Time you?”

“Nicky and I are going to complete Sudoku’s and we are going to see who can finish faster.”

For some reason that made Joe bark a laugh. “You and Nicky?”

Nile frowned. “Yes? Why, you have a problem?”

“No, no, dearest Nile, I would be honored to keep time.” he said as he continued to wear a wide grin, pulling up his phone.

Nile squinted at him before turning to Nicky. “Should we just do the first puzzle?”

“Seems logical.” Nicky said as he flipped to the appropriate page.

Both of them uncapped their pens and got ready before glancing at Joe. Andy had turned around in the sofa, watching the two of them instead of the TV.

“Are you ready?” Joe asked, and their nods, “1, 2, 3, GO!”

Nile focused on the puzzle, going by each square methodically, crossing off the possibilities mentally in her head. It was an easy puzzle, so she did not have to write down all the potential numbers. And yet, she was startled when Nicky slammed his book down with a “Done!” when she was only halfway through hers

“Wait what?” Nile asked, reaching to grab the older man’s book while Joe leaned back in his chair, laughing.

“1 minute 15 seconds Nicky! Good job!”

Nile gaped as she looked at the puzzled solved perfectly. She placed the book down and glared at the Italian man, who now at least had the wherewithal to look sheepish. “Explain.”

It wasn’t quite a growl but close enough.

Nicky blushed, and Joe answered for him. “Nile, uhkt sageera, Nicky and I have lived for a thousand years now. Not to mention that Nicky has been doing the New York Times crossword puzzle since it was first published, in what? 1940? 1945? He tended to do the other puzzles too. I believe the first Sudoku puzzle was in the UK? I remember him being excited about it.”

Nile stared at him, jaw open while Andy started to cackle in the background. She spun in her seat, half furious, half indignant. “You cheater!”

Nicky put up both hands in surrender. “I didn’t exactly cheat Nile!”

“I thought you had never done Sudokus before! I thought you were humoring me!”

“Well-”

“Oh my god, I explained how to solve a Sudoku to you in São Paulo, why didn’t you say anything?”

“You seemed very passionate…”

“Nicky…” she growled only to sit back heavily in her chair, definitely not pouting, no matter how fond Joe looked at her.

Nicky’s own sheepish look was slowly transforming into a playful grin and she rolled her eyes in exasperation before laughing. “Alright, fine, this was on me.”

“I had a lot of fun Nile. I would enjoy doing this again.”

Nile groaned, tilting her head back and covering her face, exaggerating the dramatics because it drew more laughs from her family, and she was coming to treasure these laughs as much as those of her mother and brother.

She sat back when the laughter died down, taking the Sudoku book in hand. “I would like that too Nicky. Guess there is another aspect of the tradition we are going to be repeating too now though.”

When Nicky looked at her confused, her wry look transformed into a fond grin. “I am fated to always lose at Sudoku races to my big brother apparently.”

“Nile…” Nicky breathed her voice as though it was something delicate. Precious. And then he got up and came around the table to pull her into a hug she returned with all her strength. “Non riesco a immaginare un onore più grande dell'essere tuo fratello, sorellina.”

Even if she didn’t understand the words, she understood the meaning, and a small part of the hole created by her family was filled in.

“I love you too, Nicky.”

And she did, this man who was willing to die for her, to kill to protect her.

Even if it meant an eternity losing Sudoku races to him.

[alphawolfice1989]

21 Ways Neil Patrick Harris Is Still a Kid at Heart

Whether he’s escaping a room or his real life, the sitcom star and new quiz-show host loves a game—unless it’s Monopoly

https://www.wsj.com/articles/21-ways-neil-patrick-harris-is-still-a-kid-at-heart-1520528275

PLAYER ONE Neil Patrick Harris, the host of the new game show ‘Genius Junior,’ takes a timeout at The Charlie Hotel in Los Angeles.PHOTO: SHAYAN ASGHARNIA FOR THE WALL STREET JOURNAL

By

 Chris Kornelis

March 8, 2018 11:57 am ET

AS PRENATURALLY SMART teen surgeon Doogie Howser, M.D., Neil Patrick Harris occasionally let himself believe he was the “young whippersnapper intellect” he portrayed on TV. He’s under no such delusions as the host of NBC’s “Genius Junior,” a new game show premiering this month that quizzes grade schoolers in categories including math, memory and spelling.

“When I interacted with the kids, I realized that [compared to them] I was really just a puppet reading writers’ lines,” the 44-year-old father of two said. “It doesn’t quite involve the same cerebral cortex.”

Following his 2014 Tony-winning role in Broadway’s “Hedwig and the Angry Inch”; the publishing of his children’s book “The Magic Misfits” last year; and the launching of his Netflix adaptation “A Series of Unfortunate Events,” Mr. Harris said he was inspired to take his turn behind the quiz-show dais by a childhood spent watching “Press Your Luck” and “Sale of the Century.” Another motivator: his love of puzzles and game theory, which recently led him to become an escape-room aficionado.

Though he said he normally takes the time to gauge the dynamic in group situations, Mr. Harris admits that he gets “pretty alpha” if the door is locked and the clock is ticking: “When your singular goal is to escape as quickly as possible, you just talk the loudest and fastest you can.”

Clockwise from top left: ‘The Goonies’; Oculus Rift VR goggles; ‘Black Mirror’; his childhood computer; Stretch Armstrong.

My current obsession is: a smartphone app called “The Room.” As you swipe around and examine a box, you find a little switch that opens a panel to puzzles that unlock more and more of the box. It is extraordinarily well executed and a brilliant time suck.

My favorite toy as a child was: Stretch Armstrong, but I was really just interested in knowing what the liquid was inside that allowed him to stretch, so those got mutilated. I also had every “Star Wars” figure. When we made little short films, we would burn them because burning plastic is cool to watch.

My favorite toy now is: The Oculus Rift VR machine. I can’t stop. I will someday be one of those fallow, gaunt VR players who never see the light of day.

My favorite escape room is: New York’s Paradiso Escape. It’s fantastic. Incredibly cinematic, there are multiple rooms, and it’s fully realized. And we escaped, which is most important. The bomb did not go off.

The first piece of tech I remember getting is: an old school TRS-80 computer my parents bought. We were living in Tiny Town, New Mexico—not its real name—and I felt like we were very technological and impressive.

I’m serious about collecting: Disney theme-park memorabilia. I outbid some heavy hitters to get an original Haunted Mansion stretching portrait of a bearded man, which we display proudly and enormously in our living room. I paid too much, but I felt it was something that would never come around again.

When you visit Vancouver you should definitely: bike Stanley Park. That’s their big Central Park. It’s just exquisite. Nature here is just miraculous. When it’s not raining in the spring and summer everything is just in full bloom—and it’s beautiful.”

The best place for brunch in New York is: Balthazar. It’s a great scene. Fantastic brunch: waffles and oysters.

A podcast I download to get a bit smarter is: NPR’s “Hidden Brain.” Shankar Vedantam interviews all kinds of people on topics relating to the brain, the psyche and our common concerns and goals. It’s scientific, topical, really motivational.

A game I do not recommend: Monopoly with 7-year-olds. I think it teaches bad habits. The whole conceit of Monopoly is to destroy every other competitor and acquire so much wealth that you’re stomping on and bankrupting people left, right and center. But we’re very into Sorry!

A book that I re-read every year is: “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho. It is filled with life-changing ways of thinking. It’s the only book I’ve read where I had to just stop to think about a sentence I read, take some deep breaths, smile and then keep reading.

The best book for a first grader is:“The World’s Worst Children” by David Walliams. It’s stories about horrible children, similar to the worlds created by Roald Dahl. Hilarious and still palatable for kids.

A kids film that I love is: “The Goonies.” When it came out, I bought all the chewing gum packs of Goonies cards, read and acquired every Goonies thing I could and called myself a “Goonie looney.” I coined that phrase and thought it was very funny at the time.

The last show I binged is: Netflix’s “Black Mirror.” All the episodes are effective, chilling and awesome.

My favorite VR game is: “The Invisible Hours.” It’s a murder mystery, which is right up my alley. You’re able to wander this mansion and follow people to see what they are doing. It’s like immersive theater. It’s rad.

The last piece of technology I bought: If I’m being honest, is a second Oculus Rift system, because I missed it so much in New York, I wanted to play it here in Vancouver [where he’s currently shooting the third season of “A Series of Unfortunate Events”].

As a child I listened to: my parents’ records. The Kingston Trio, the Brothers Four. In high school I listened to Billy Joel and the Beach Boys—which was the first CD I ever bought.

If I weren’t an actor: I’d either be a puppeteer or an Imagineer—someone hired by Disney to sign a nondisclosure form, learn all the secrets of how the theme park rides work and use current and future technologies to design attractions for parks.

My favorite bathroom away from home is at: the NoMad Hotel in Los Angeles. It’s in an old bank and they saved the vault for the bathroom’s entrance downstairs. It’s super cool.

The best advice I ever received was: play a long game and not a short game, especially career-wise. Don’t hope that a singular thing—especially if it becomes a success—will define you. Strive for longevity and appreciate that where there are flows there are also ebbs.

The worst advice I’ve received: Fly out of Newark instead of JFK.

—Edited from an interview by Chris Kornelis

[dulharpa]

this is for hayley! @whistlingwillows a dear friend <3333

it’s meant to be a birthday present haha. i just want to shower you in love;;; so thought maybe i could go through as many of your fics and comment on them :^)))

(TO EVERYONE ELSE: please go to @whistlingwillows blog and read her fics!!! they are SO FCKIN GOOD AND AMAZING AND UGH HER MIND (it’s a lot of mcu and her bucky and steve fics are a*. i DEFINITELY RECOMMEND))

i wish you a VERY happy birthday and i hope we stay friends for many more years <3333333333 

i’m going through your masterlist heehee ;)))

ah first off, nice theme! i never could rlly see it before because i’m always on mobile heehee. also sorry for not reviewing them before??? i don’t usually read fics on tumblr as you’ve probably guessed;;

anyways, IM GON REVIEW THE SHIT OUT OF THESE >:DDDD

far from home -  bucky x stark sister!reader

firstly, i like how youre introducing the reader from buckys pov, like you can sort of already gather what shes like from them

‘Bucky can hear Tony’s soft inhale, feel the intensity of the man’s glare directed at Steve. He shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but a twitch of muscle would be enough to alert both men that he’s here. With the amount of tension crackling in the air, a brush against the wall would be equivalent to a thousand cymbals crashing in cacophony.’

IM CRYING ALREADY. the imagery in here is GLORIOUS. your tone here is so fitting! oo and the alliteration here is perfecto

ooooooo!! the backstory coming in  👀👀

‘despite what some people think that Steve and Captain America are two different personas, there will always be parts of Steve in the Avenger, and parts of the Avenger in Steve. They both want to believe in something good. They are, after all, one in the same.// Just as how Bucky and the Winter Soldier are the same man despite everything. HYDRA simply amplified the hate, fertilized the seeds of rage, curated the quiet thunder within his soul, within James Buchanan Barnes so that the Winter Soldier could thrive.’

yIKES! lol this is very character study like! nICE. it hurts tho, my poor children, i love you both 

oo ‘starlight eyes’ that is a very nice way of describing them

‘“Then what was London?” The protesters. “São Paulo?” The earthquake. “Vancouver?” Freezing cold water.//“Look, I care if Stark’s gonna run us over trying to find her. I care enough because she’s part of our team. Come off it, Steve. I know she can take care of herself. I’m gonna take a nap. Dr. Cho said no partying post-Singapore and what do you know, we throw the biggest party ever.’

ooo singapore uwu and london? (coincidence? haha jkjk) and the hints abt reader and buckys background are so good?? but so annoying??? like i just wanna KNOW yknow?? 

‘The water runs copper and the sting bites at his palm as he tries not to think. Tries to focus on the numbing cold that runs over his skin.’ 

your imagery is so vivid?? im actually in awe??? i am so regretful i havent kept reading your fics. like i know they are amazing, i just keep putting them off??? idk man. hopefully this makes up for it (gd tho, im still not done with commenting on one fic. this is what im doing with my motivation teehee ;)

‘ He feels weak. Tired. He wants to go back to bed but he also wants to stay out in the sun for a few hours more. The sun kisses his skin through the windows and he squints against the blue sky, wondering ‘

mood during this quarantine lol

‘“Oh, right.” Your voice is flat, uninterested, cold, as you stare at him. “You killed my parents.”Shit.‘

 OUCH LMAO THATS C O L D, O GOT +100 PHYSIC DAMAGE FROM JUST READING THAT

ooo robin as a nickname noice. very much gives me batman vibes lol

oh! and the way of doing the ‘flashback’ is neat! very original. it both tells us what happened AND buckys reaction to it again. he can re-analyse himself and reader. very cool

‘If you walk away now, don’t bother coming back!” Silence. Bucky can hear his own strained breathing, your soft sigh as you soaked in his ultimatum.’

👀👀 yikes that ultimatum. :// not good bucky. tbf theyre both trying to hurt each other but Yikes

eyy!!! readers pov!! finally! and the switch after we find out the outsiders pov? brilliant

oh no :(( more angst

‘When’s the last time you saw your therapist?”“Don’t have one. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”’ they BOTH need therapists;;;;

very good fic!!! :DD they rlly do hate each other! i definitely like how you went back and forth with the timeline! it gave me a v strong idea on what yn was like even before we rlly got introduced. i am now very curious on where reader is? i love your characterisations! 

i will read the 10k+ fics but heck the last one took me ages lolol (i will comment in the future tho!! i promise <3 ) (that took me over an hour jjhghgdjh)

slipping away- amnesiac modern bucky x reader

omg,,, AMNESIA! >:DDDDDD

‘ Put your fucking seatbelt on’

oh no, istg theyre going to have a car crash arent they (’ doesn’t put the seatbelt on to spite you.’ NO PLEASE PUT IT ON U DUMBASS)

ok,,,,, at LEAST he put it on before he got hit, thank heck. but still. youre so cruel to your poor characters lmaoo

oh gosh

‘You fall apart slowly, like pieces of you peeling away until you’re nothing more than your broken heart. The sobs that wrack your body are relentless and you shove your forearm into your mouth to muffle your cries. You want to bite into your skin. You want to distract yourself from the agony tearing you to shreds. You want to feel anything but the pain.///Tears sweep into your hair, cloud your vision and your whole face floods with heat as you try to breathe through the pain. You’re cleaved into pieces on that bed, eyes squeezed shut as the tears keep flowing, and your throat burns’

this hurts damn, it is so vivid?? i can really feel it 

i am so glad you got into writing yk?? so glad

NO PLS, TELL HIM. TELL HIM :((( ‘shes nice once you get to know her?? shes known nat for years now!! years!!

oh god ‘he looks younger without the burden of your time together’ this is so angsty omg

‘Well, he was stumbling through his apology and I just let him finish.” Your body fills with warmth as you remember his embarrassed smile, the way he shoved his baseball cap farther down his head, chin tucked to his chest, trying to hide that face. “When he was done, I opened my mouth to say something polite but what came out was ‘You look like someone I’d very much like to kiss’.”

this is so soft i stg im crying in the club

OH SHITTTTTTTTTTT , you left it off like that!!! thats so cruel!!!! i can’t!!! how dare you!!!! :””””””((( im typing this with tears in my eyes ill have u know!!

anyway!!! very good fic!! you could honestly make that into a longfic very easily lol. i felt too many emotions :(( 

i was just about to say where is the fluff!! where is it!! when i saw the next one and yay :))) pls i cant have more angsty stuff rn

.

cookies and rings and things bucky and reader

‘how much do you love me?’ ‘count the snowflakes, multiply by a million’

did you have to start the fic off with such a SOFT line? its so soft! so TENDER 

‘He wonders what kinda insane person wears socks without any clothes on, but then decides that it’s the kind of person who’s fallen in love with him.’  jesus, the soft moments filled with love are the greatest <3

you can write fluff so well, whyd you have to pain me with all that angst ;””””) (1/10 hurt, 9/10 comfort is the way to go lolol) (jkjk ill read the angsty ones too when i have the spoons) (gonna reread that hydra steve one and ik thatll fuck me UP)

‘ Then, he can feel the cold metal of the ring she slid onto her own finger less than twenty-four hours ago and realizes that he had thought a lot of things shouldn’t be possible, and yet they still are. ‘

you literally brought me to tears reading this softness, you have truly found my weakness

‘ She’s so damn gorgeous with flour on her face and eye bags beneath her eyes that he’s sure she will inevitably make his heart burst ‘

he already likes her so much! i can’t believe this is affecting me so much :’)

‘Bucky is quite sure Sam is in love with his girlfriend in the fact that he’s in love with the fact that his girlfriend is possibly in love with Bucky’

this is so soft??? sam loves reader bc reader loves bucky sm. pls my hear <3333

you do fluff SO WELL DAMN 

‘F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice echoes in his small little perch and he still thinks it’s weird without having the side effect of Stark in his suit chasing after him to hear the A.I. but he shoves that uncomfortable feeling of the dead man out of his head. That is too much regret to unpack right now on a mission. ‘

yike bringing back that reminder oof

but thats so soft??? (i am def overusing soft but,,,,, i love it and the vibe) she sent him cookies! god i can feel the love  

‘She expresses her feelings through cooking, which Bucky has learnt the hard way. One time, they got into an argument over something stupid—he can’t even remember what started it—and came to the kitchen at 2AM to see her sitting at the kitchen island crying her eyes out and surrounded by baskets of muffins.’

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 my hEART

you show how much they love each other in so many ways??? i am dying

“Alright, I like it.” Rolling his eyes, he pecks her forehead and she smiles victoriously. It’s so adorable that Bucky, with less than three hours of sleep, adds, “God, I want to marry you.//”“What?”//Oh.Shit.

oh my god! i am literally tearing up!!! AGAIN!!!!!!!!

oh shit o am literally crying

your fluff got me crying harder than your angst i hope youre happy

I really hope you enjoy reading this?? i keep forgetting to like text you but i wanted to do something for your birthday. especially in quarantine when everythings gone crazy. one year i swear ill do something REALLY good for you. not making promises bc i hate if i dont. but ill like, learn how to podfic because you D E S E R V E  I T 

ive spent like three hours doing this lolol 

thank you so much for everything hayley!

[shesawriter39049]

|FAMILY TIES| M| MAFIA AU| 2

SMUT/ANGST 

SUMMARY: A powerful alliance made up of 4 families spanning over a decade, is suddenly turned on its head when one family has a new leader after an unexpected death. Well let’s just say he’s not down to follow the somewhat civilized rules your families have inforced. Sooo now, it’s game on…

THIS CHAPTER IS VERY STORYLINE HEAVY AS FAR AS LUXX & TAE ARE CONCERNED.... BTW

15k 

WARNINGS: HMMM, DIRTY TALK, ORAL( M/F GIVING AND RECEIVING) SLIGHT LINGERIE KINK, LIGHT CUMPLAY, OVERSTIMULATION LIGHT DOM TAE, FACE RIDING, CAR SEX...KINDA LOL

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His eyes were studying yours his whole aura seemed..different…the way he looked at you was a lot softer now as his touch also changed, it was more so him needing to make sure you were calm. As his hands rubbed light circles along the small of your back, he could feel you start to melt into his touch. Yes, this was your life..the only one you knew but that didn’t make shit like this any easier. 

Letting a deep exhale release from your lungs, your hands found their way into his hair reconnecting your lips to his taking advantage of the moment. He could feel you smile into the kiss and that let him know you were good. He chuckled lightly against your lips ,still not breaking the kiss, the way he caressed you in his arms just screamed “That’s my girl”.It was like..he could sense that you were at ease, because he was there, and you had his back, down to start a fire the minute he was. 

His hand snaked up your neck, pulling you in tighter, as he deepened the kiss. Mr.Kim couldn’t control himself around you tonight, and you weren’t complaining it was rare, that he got like this and you loved it. letting himself get completely out of his head and just live in the moment with you. But the moment came to an abrupt halt once as your body jerked from a sloppy ass turn the driver took a low grunt leaving both of your lips in aggravation as you tried to keep your cool. Not a smooth driver by any means, shit it felt like you were a second away from slamming into the door. Currently questioning if you were in a game of bumper cars to be honest, because that would make a lot more sense. 

In all honesty he was driving like he was nervous, another rookie mistake. Neither of you would ever feel uneasy by one of your driver’s skills,even if they were doing 130 down a dead end they were always smooth. Also, as the driver sometimes you don’t know what happened or why your picking someone up. The less you know the better, that way if ever questioned, the honest response is “I was just told to drive”. So with that being said, your driver wouldn’t speak without being spoken too, which so far is the only rule this rookie is following properly.

Taehyung called it off rip …he was just probably some guy, who was broke and needed some cash. He’s not valuable to Marco, he doesn’t know much, and on top of that he’s terrified, not only of fuckng up but more importantly his passengers.The two of you were known to do some pretty serious damage together if need be. You could go from danity and vulnerable to heartless and lethal within seconds. Which is why it was crucial for him to go undetected, if the two of you caught on he didn’t stand a chance. Little did he know he blew it the minute Taehyung got in the car. You watched his brow furrowed in frustration at his ammature driving, the grip on your waist tightening, you could tell by the look on his face he was beyond pissed. Ready to snatch his ass right out of the driver’s seat, and end this pathetic excuse for a kidnapping or whatever the fuck it was..he wasn't impressed to say the least. As bad as Tae’s temper was,he wasn’t a loose canon. Even though this guy seemed like a complete cake walk, unless you two were in immediate danger there’s no way Taehyung would make an impulsive decision like that with you in the car. Even the slight risk of you getting hurt because of something he did would ruin him. He hid it well, but him being protective over you goes way deeper than just the family business. 

Knowing he had to find a distraction so he could stop envisioning repeditaly bashing this man's head into the window until his skull was in dicetable pieces. I guess he’s lucky his favorite lady was already on his lap.. Reclining your back to rest against the driver’s seat with a mischievous smirk which he read you clear as day..you two were about to give this rookie the ride of his life. One of his favorite things about you, no matter how girly you were..hair, nails,makeup, high heels..you weren't afraid to play dirty.  

“Oh, by the way I bought you something…” his hands roamed up your sides as you kicked your brow up out of curiosity. Your dynamic had changed over the past almost 6 months, all of the built up sexual tension finally came to a head after the two of you closed a pretty dangerous deal is Sao Paulo. The leftover adrenaline coursed through your veins as he had you bent over a balcony 20 stories up. Hand around your neck, he fucked you until you couldn't even see straight, and once your legs gave out he laid you on chaise lounge and kept goin… But that’s about all it was, Taehyung somehow mastered the art of not getting in his feels,but every once in awhile his heart would pick a fight, and lately it’s been knocking him on his ass. 

You knew he was just trying to make small talk..but he’s never just randomly bought you something, unless it was like food,liquor, or a hotel suite “I actually bought it a while ago,but ya know, you just had to be a fuckin brat” His words came out almost in the form of a growl as he coyly reached in the pocket inside your coat, sliding your 9..down your sleeve. Which drapped on the floor, cradling it in your hand, due to your jacket hanging off your shoulders, the gun and your hand were completely covered.

Rolling your eyes not even bothering to actually verbally give a response,which only made him chuckle. He really wasn’t phased by you he’s known you damn near your whole life, he just..ya know.. wanted to choke your bratty ass sometimes that’s all.

“Clearly you still haven’t learned your lesson..” You felt a hard smack on your ass but you knew it was coming, keeping your eyes trained on his as you just shrugged nonchalantly in response. Trying to play it cool but he left one hell of a sting, already feeling the heat start to pool between your thighs.”But I feel like I’d be torturing myself more than you …” Adjusting his tone slightly, the arousal dripping from his lips clear as day, it as insane the cast that hung over the two of you right now. The energy that radiated between you did not reflect the situation you were currently in whatsoever! God you loved the way he looked at your body, as he massaged up your thighs it was like you could physically see the affect you had on his own, as he slowly let himself go piece by piece.

 “When I saw it I knew you’d look sooo sexy...while your pretty little mouth was wrapped me…ass up…wearing my favorite pair of Louboutins” The smoothness in which he delivered that you honestly couldn’t even be pissed at him assuming he’d get his way. He definitely had a lingerie kink and you knew It was a piece from Agent Provocateur, it was one of his favourite brands and he wasn’t shy to pick out what he liked. But typically it was while you were already ordering, he’d never done it on his own before! On the surface the two of you may appear to be 100%  lost in your own world, completely unaware of your surroundings. All the random side turns this twat rockets taking down side streets. But Nah, you were well aware, just waiting until the time was right, while having a little fun in the meantime. 

 You weren’t going to let him know how genuinely happy the idea of him lingerie shopping made you, not the way your ego was set up. “And who says that you’ve been good enough to have my lips wrapped around your dick Mr. Kim?” Cocking your head to the side slightly capturing his gaze with yours, as a cocky smirk landed across his lips. Lacing his tongue against his plump bottom lip as he readjusted your position on his lap, rolling his hips up into yours. 

“We both know, especially tonight …I’ve been more than good my baby …” Fuck how was it possible for his voice to get deeper, digging his nails into your ass through the thin fabric of your dress. Signaling for him to scoot closer he leaned in for a kiss,the grip on your waist got tighter as he already knew what was coming. Slowly creeping your hand up the back of the driver's seat strategically placing your gun between the gap in the head rest causing the hammer to make a slight clicking sound as the muzzle hit his neck . Granted this was not an ideal position but you’ve done this long enough, were you could make it work.

Your tongue still hadn't left Taehyung's until you both felt the car come to a complete stop, as he gasped in utter panic once he realized what was happening and at that point Taehyung had enough. “Alright, fuck this..”The whole car jerked, while he gently removed you from his lap, it still amazed you how quick he could switch gears. He went from caressing you to slowly fumming in the matter of seconds you watched him grunt, rolling his eyes in frustration as he quickly climbed over the seat hopping into the passenger side as you adjusted yourself still keeping your gun at the back of his neck. “Keep drivin…” Surprised by how relaxed his tone was in comparison to the look on his face. Taehyung searched him quickly before taking his own gun in one hand and his phone in another .

“Amature move number 10 sweetheart, you never. stop. driving…” you whispered out boldly against the skin of his neck as your lips brushed his ear. Tae couldn’t help but smile at the sight of you ,he thought you were the sexiest thing he’s ever laid his eyes on . Even if his pride wouldn’t let him admit it this man was becoming so consumed by you it’s unreal! Accidently catching his gaze, it felt like your heart stopped for a moment when you realized the way he was looking at you. The moment was short lived though, regardless of the situation you were currently in. You should’ve known better than to think Kim Taehyung was allowing himself to actually fucking feel more than a orgasm.

 “She’s right, for all you know she could’ve just been fuckin with you. None of my men would’ve stopped driving, or jumped when I gouged at the seat nor would they have made that sloppy ass bang around the corner…..so I‘m only gonna ask this once...and don't you dare lie to me. I’m really not in the mood for games tonight, what fuckin’ character sent you?!“

Lucky for the driver in the midst of all this one of Taehyung’s men called, so he was temporarily distracted leaving you to deal with it.Signaling to you with his gun, which let you know he wanted you to continue his interrogation, while he was preoccupied.  His delivery was just..fuck..…it always did something to you when he was doing business he was so stern and such a fucking man!! He never had to yell for people to know he wasn’t to be fucked with! He’s a pretty boy who likes designer things, yet It was so effortless for him to balance the two, he could look like a Blue Blood or a guy from The Dot, and have respect from either party. 

Before you even had a chance to open your mouth, his eyes shot back in the driver's direction, I guess the nano second of silence was far too much for Taehyung to handle ”Did I not just say, I’m not in the mood for this shit? The fucks the matter with you?”Grazing the hammer with his index finger, cocking his head to the side while his tongue grazed his teeth. His accent that sat typically mild on a day to day basis, always grew even thicker once he got frustrated. Even faint, in combination with the deep rich tones of his voice..you were ready to get on your knees whenever and wherever he wanted. Granted this probably shouldn’t be running through your mind while you guys are technically in the midst of being kidnapped with a gun to a man’s head.  But that’s the kinda shit that runs through your mind regardless of the situation when your dealing with Kim Taehyung.

Believe it or not, this man was either stupid or..just..well stupid because he still stayed quiet , which at this point you assumed he was playing the same game they all did and you weren’t in the mood . “Oh for fucks sake, spare me with the “I’d rather die than talk” bullshit please ! Trust me this mother fucker doesn’t give a fuck about you, it will get you nowhere!” Your tone was cold as all hell reflecting no type of emotion, you’d been through this far to many times for you to even be slightly amused. 

Suddenly the energy around you felt suffocating..something just didn't feel right, and in that moment...all your patience flew out the window. Knocking the muzzle against the back of his neck even harder this time, causing his head to jerk a little when you still got NO response. You flicked the lock with your finger until it clicked which immediately got Taehyung’s attention because that sound meant you were about to release from your register “Your a second away from your organs being splattered along the dash kid” Raising your tone out of pure frustration, but it didn’t take you guys long to realize that it actually sounded like he was almost…crying? Well, fuck, clearly this wasn’t going the way you anticipated, completely dumbfounded who the hell kidnaps someone..and then has a mental breakdown!? 

The look on both of your faces mirrored the same level of confusion, I.E WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON!?

 “Jesus kid are you crying, seriously!?” Ducking his head down slightly trying to get a better look at his face “Seriously?? Am I getting punk’d or something!? How old are you?!?” Pulling the drivers hat off ,flicking the light on. To your surprise the tone was, calm, and warm actually,complete contrast to how he originally approached him. An almost sympathetic sigh left his mouth when he looked over at him, this kid looked like he was barely 18!  The word “kid” was used very frequently in Boston, but buy no means did you actually think he was actually barely legal!

“Of fucking course!” You whispered out low in frustration and slight disbelief, shaking your head, as it now was all starting to make since. He wasn’t just a rookie he was a child, you guys didn’t do business like this..unless they were  in the family you didn’t involve kids. Even though you felt bad you still didn’t remove the gun, deep down you knew this wasn’t some trap, Marco just didn’t give a fuck, but you were trained to never underestimate anyone! Just wanting someone cheap … that was easily impressionable, and disposable.

This life wasn’t for everybody that’s for damn sure, on the surface it looks great, the money ,cars,planes, trips you name it. But it does something to your spirit, after some of the shit that you see in this line of work. I know it sounds cliche but it's true..your never the same…God forbid your in a position where you’re the one deciding if and when someone will take their last breath. You gotta have a strong ass heart,and a lot of the time you almost gotta act like you don’t have one at all, and it’s hard still…even for you two. Mr. Kim could attest to that better than anyone…

In this moment not caring how young he was…Taehyung was getting pissed that he hadn’t answered his question! Like I said there's a time and place for everything, he didn’t expect you to worship the ground he walks on. But in a situation like this when Kim Taehyung asks you a question you answer, simple as that.You watched his head cock to the side, eyes extremely focused on the divers mannerisms, you couldn’t tell if he was enraged, or concerned, as he was still on the phone with one of his men. All you could do was hold your breath and pray he didn’t do anything crazy

.“Alright, you know what?  I‘M done, I’m done with this conversation! I don’t care who fucked up were..just fix it! Jhonny,put me on speaker..” pausing taking in a couple slow breaths, using his index and middle finger to pinch the bridge of his nose, almost indicating the conversation was giving him a migraine and knowing Taehyung’s lack of patience..it probably was  

“Alright boss..” 

 “If you guys are smart, you’ll make sure nothing else goes wrong tonight, I’m not in the mood for this amateur bullshit! Oh by the way you mother fuckers literally let me get kidnapped by a kid that can’t even grow fucking facial hair! Get your shit together!”  Tossing his phone down on his lap, letting out a deep sigh in aggravation as he ran his fingers through his hair. His phone went off almost instantly once he hung up, probably sending him directions. 

Still, in the midst of all that he stayed dead silent in the drivers set, jaw cinched ..trying to look tough, yet you could see how glossy his eyes were, they were probably burning from him trying to suppress his tears.  “Alright, well now that i’ve clarified my men are incompetent and you’re probably not even old enough to buy cigs..pull into this parking lot, then your gonna pull out…bang a uey, and we’re going in the opposite fuckin direction.”

His delivery was so chill it was almost comical, there wasn't even a hint of concern in his voice, already well aware the driver would follow his instructions. You watched his shaky hands pull into a lot of what appeared to be a diner . Pulling out, and doing exactly what was instructed of him “Good boy …” He coaxed and it seemed to put the kid at ease “Make a left at the next light. “ . Taehyung knew what he was doing, purposely waiting until the driver seemed a little calmer before he started to ask him questions.. “Ok. I’m gonna say this one more time, and if you don’t respond I’ll revert right back to that motherfucker I was when I first got up in the front seat . You're already pushing it because my biggest pet peeve is repating myself...yet here I fuckin go soudnig like a damn parrot!”

 He kept is tone low and stern but still he wasn’t yelling, it was rare he did. “If I’m being honest I don’t care how young you are I’m not the one that hired you.  At the end of the day the job you accepted put her life in danger and that alone is enough for me to bash your fuckin head in.” Cocking his head to the side leaning in a little closer as he tried to read the kids expression. Barely centimeters away from this kids face, a knot forming in your own stomach just from observing..you heard him sniffle and clear his throat .

“I-I didn’t do anything to your driver by the way , I actually don’t know where he is ...the car was empty when I got in it” He paused needing to focus on the road but you also knew he needed to calm down. 

“After you make this turn your going to stay straight for a while . Then hang a right into the gas station…Keep goin..” The combination of warmth in his voice and of course pure fear encouraged him to actually continue 

”I’m- I’m 18, he comes to the packie I work at, I just turned 18, and the day I did my foster mom put my ass right out! I -He asked if I wanted to make some quick cash …he just said I’d have to drive a car. I had an hour to get you guys to someone else..”  It hurt more than you thought to hear this young kid say what the both of you already knew, which is that he was just a pawn in Marco’s game. But both of you became slightly intrigued the more he spoke, he knew Marco probably didn’t deal with him directly but did he know a name? A location? ANYTHING!

“Shit I’m screwed , I had one job ! One FUCKING job ……then you get paid..that’s all I had to do…that’s all I had to do..” you heard him whisper out the last part,actually almost sounding like he was outta breath. Repeatedly it like a prayer, both of you zoned in on him, making sure in his sudden panic he wouldn’t suddenly try to do something irrational. This was all in a day’s work ..at the end of the day he had a job to complete and so far he hasn’t, at a 9-5 that could get you written up or fired..in this line of work it could get you killed.  

You watched Taehyung’s expression change slowly, he felt bad, really bad. “Shit man, “ Tae huffed in frustration running his fingers through his hair “You know there’s a chance he’ll kill you if you don’t bring us in right?” 18 or not Taehyung wasn’t going to sugar coat it he’d rather you be braced for the worst then leave you in the dark . His eyes glanced over at him and he just nodded.

”Yeah, but I don’t have much here, never have it wouldn’t be shit for me to use the money I have and hop on a greyhound or something..” He was trying to sound strong but you two saw right through it ,he probably barley made $10.00 a hour. All the money he had would probably only cover the bus ride and one night in a motel .

  “Pull in here …” he instructed as calm as ever noticing his blacked out Jaguar parked behind a semi. You could feel the car start to slow up, before actually coming to a complete stop right in front of the driveway, he was having second thoughts, I mean not that you blame him. “I really wouldn't do this If I were you” you heard a deep slow exhale leave Taehyung’s body as he adjusted his gun in his hand “Don’t push me, would you prefer I just let you pull the trigger yourself? Because you essentially digging your own grave right now, pull. in.to .the driveway...now.”  Taehyung’s voice was barely above a whisper but the authority behind it spoke volume as his eyes cut over to the drivers, You felt a knot form in your stomach..praying the driver wouldn’t do anything stupid. You watched his grip get tighter on the wheel, knuckles flushing the palest shade of ivory,  the headlights caught Taehyun’s men’s attention.

Two of them started walking over..trying to see what was taking so long now it was 1 against 4. You watched his eyes flutter as he let out a low defeated sigh while putting the car back in drive, once pulled in Taehyung’s men were quick to yank him out the car, slamming him against the hood “HEY! Mazda..chill he’s just a kid..leave him be…I got this…I got him…”  shoeing him away as he stepped closer. Once Mazda released him you watched him drop to the ground it was almost like his entire body caved in.

Taehyung walked over, opening your door “Hey,Can you go stand by my car baby doll? I just need to have a quick word with our little buddy over here..” 

Your brow immediately arched so much attitude laced across you face as you crossed your arms against your chest..for one..the pet name threw you off..and two since when are you not allowed to be in on business conversations? Incase he forgot you were BOTH kidnapped, he detected you weren’t pleased letting out a deep huff, leaning down sliding his tongue into your mouth effortlessly. Forcing his way in with such ease..it was so quick you were almost confused it happened, yet somehow he was able to explore what felt like every inch of your mouth.Causing you to moan against his tongue, it was crazy how easily he could get to you now.

”Please, I need him to talk and I don’t want the two of us tag teaming him...promise I’ll fill you in once we leave...” His plea came out in a low whisper.. As his hand massaged the back of your neck…how could you say no when he just kissed you like that, more importantly he was right. This kid was fragile It was clear that Tae cracked his shell a little, in more ways than just utter fear. Letting out an exaggerated huff as you hopped out of the car, but of course because your, you a dramatic exit wouldn’t be complete without you rolling your eyes at him. In which he just chuckled while you swayed past ,placing a quick pat on your ass as you headed towards his men .

Taehyung crouched down in front of the kid, that was now sobbing. Planting his hand on his shoulder “Hey..” his tone was somber trying to get his attention ..”I’m gonna help you out a little..you can keep the car, my men will give you a new plate and some cash…but I need you to help me out first…” His eyes widened..after hearing that. In all honesty he probably did not have the money for a greyhound, and if he had a car…he could maybe sleep in that instead of a motel and save money. 

Nodding his head eagerly in response “What the fuck was this about?” Pausing for a moment not sure if he was having second thoughts or just trying to get his thoughts together, so Tae thought he’d try to coax him along “Listen, If I wanted to hurt you, I would’ve done it already…and I still can, Not to sound like a total dick but what happens to you once I pull out of here has no affect on my life.” 

Pausing purposely really wanting that resonate with him, making sure he understood that Taehyung really didin;t have to help him.

“I’m trying to help you, but I need you to help me too..do you understand?“ Still keeping his voice calm even though at this point he was about out of patience this boy had about 2 seconds to speak…and it was clear he picked up on it 

“Yes….” His almost passive response was met by Taehyung's unforgiving glare, play time was over..he needed answers. “I-honestly don’t know the reason…the guy who comes into the packie they call him Zeb, but I don’t know if that’s his real name. it’s-it’s not like they told me hey we’re planning a shoot out, but I was at the party the whole time as a server. They told me to go in and interview, I guess they were hiring more people for just that one event .I -I did have a que to leave..it was prior to the shootout..so I guess that technically clarifies they were in on it.” 

Taehyung’s eyes studied him as he talked, watching his mannerisms, his eye contact..eye movements..even the way he was fidgeting. Trying to see if he seemed..genuine or rehearsed “Only other thing I know is Zeb is usually always with someone, but the day he brought me my clothes the car was different. Memorable I guess? Typically he was always in something I don’t know more low key..this one was an old school candy apple red corvette…I don't know if that helps but..that’s all I got, a possible name and a car...I’m sorry. I’m just really sorry...” Throwing his hands up while letting lout deep exhale,body still trembling slightly but Tae could tell he felt relieved to get that off his chest. To  be honest, it didn’t really help, the problem is..Marco probably had new men because none of Leos would help and Tae didn’t know any of them yet. But the car was definitely something to look out for, and he could also do some snooping on Marco’s soilders at a later date.

Giving his arm a squeeze before standing up with a slight smile,abruptly signaling  for his men to come closer “Jhonny, Benny search the car first, make sure there isn’t anything we need…before he leaves. I want a full z30 on this bitch, head to toe! Twice if you have to, run over it with a BL when your done to double check, also leave him with a envelope…” Finally bringing his gaze over to this child, not even asking him,what his name was. I guess Taehyung felt he deserved to keep that to himself, he was already thrown into way more than he bargained for. He seemed so overwhelmed by it all, I don't think it really set in until now. “Take care of yourself kid! Use the money wisely…just lay low for a little Im sure this will all pass ” 

The boy sniffled and nodded, “Thank you!” Was all he was able to croke out before turning back to Jhonny for further instruction.

While you stood posted against his car, you were actually too far away to hear what was discussed, his face had you curious. A couple guards, were sprawled around you after what happened earlier they’d be damned if they let you out of there site.  Walking up to you, grabbing your waist pulling your body into his, massaging your ass in his palm, fuck it felt so good to have him like this. To have him this close outside of sex…don’t worry you still knew better but fuck it felt good. 

 “Were about to head out,you wanna run in there and grab yourself something to keep you Preoccupied before we go?” Waiving a 50 in your face, with a slight smirk. Snatching it right out of his hand like a big kid as you skipped into the gas station. His eyes immediately shot over to one of his men, in which they took the hint with the quickness to follow you into the store. The minute he heard the door close behind you, the base in his voice echoed throughout the almost empty lot, he was cutting into his men, hard. While you were picking out all of your goodies you heard a couple loud thuds outside not even wanting to know what was happening .

The sound clearly startled the clerk as he went to check outside, and you knew this wouldn’t be good. Both yourself and his guard ran out behind him, only to find Tae, striking the icebox with his fist. Each grunt that left, his chest subsided little by little. “Hey! what the hell do you think your doin man!?” 

Shit, shit shit, he actually yelled at him,  clearly he didn’t know who he was dealing with.. I mean yes obviously Tae is destructing his property so he has every right to be upset this just..fuck this  wasn’t a good time to address him in that tone of voice. “Nothing to see here man I’m just leavin..” His tone of voice was alarmly calm in contrast to the blows he was taking to the iceox as well, as his bruised,slightly bloody knuckles. God he had such nice hands why did he have to fucking attack the icebox!  His eyes gazed up at the clerk jaw tight, while his hand rested on his hip, suit jacket, no I’m sorry let me specify his Versace suit jacket was on the ground in front of him. 

The sarcastic chuckle echoed across the empty parking lot “Are you fucking kidding me!? You’re damaging my property and your bitch over here has a bunch of shit in her hand she didn’t pay for..” You went completely wide eye and actually speechless at the derogatory slur as you honestly didn’t realize you had the stuff in your hand, before you could even say anything you found yourself distracted by Taehyung. You watched his expression change it was almost like he backed out, strolling towards the clerk slowly..too slow actually “You know what man..your right I’m sorry let me pay you for the damages..” None of you expected that..his tone even changed..it as lighter..a slight smile moved up is face, as he cranked back decking the clerk dead in the face. He was literally on the ground, blood oozing out his nose, while Mazda reached over to grab Taehyungs blazer off the ground. 

Tae singinally for you to come in his direction with his middle finger and you followed. Purposely stepping over the “gentleman” as you walked, lightly digging the heel of your red bottom in his abdomen as you amouvered over him. You heard he rasp our the word “Bitch” causing to to turn around, pressing your heel firm against his throat, until he was damn near crying “I’m sorry  what was that!? Yeah like I thought, who's the bitch now!”  Tae’s grip on your arm was damn near the only thing stopping you from legitimely gouging his adam's apple out with your shoe!

“I really should come back and unload a good 15 rounds through this bitch!” Pausing slightly..letting his eyes scan the perimeter of the gas station “Actually..meh..I still might..oh have fun getting that nose realigned, you got a bit of a hump anyway..maybe they can even that out for ya!!“ Turning away slowly taking his time strolling back to the car, hands stayed connected to your  waist the entire way, his grip was firm, wasit flesh to your ass.  As dysfunctional as it may sound, seeing each other in this element was one of your biggest turn ons you’d consider it a knink but I dont ink there a “mob/mafia” kink list.  Both of you guys equally powerful, and dangerous in your own right. He felt just as secure with you as you did him!

The plan was standard...simple, Taehyung would drive you two himself, but one of his men wouldn’t be more than 10 feet away as you guys commuted through the city. The drive from the gas station to the bridge was about 35 minutes. Upon crossing the bridge the other 3 cars would tail him as he crossed into the city.  The driver that would ghost him the whole drive had a very standard car, just a black chrysler 300 nothing that would seem suspicious or draw attention, under the hood it was a damn monster but he the surface it was low key. Taehyung on the other hand, he was a different story, not sure why they brought this particular car for him. It was a matte black Jaguar F type, it had racing tires and a turbo engine and sat lower than it’s supposed to. Point being it looks like a race car, you just felt like it would draw attention to him, not too familiar with who ran this territory as well as how clean there cops were. The car just screamed “Money..” so you knew he would catch people’s attention just out of curiosity. Taehyung’s tires alone were enough to get him flicked, but he was a drifter, so more than likely he asked for this one.

All four cars pulled out together and actually stayed in a straight line a good 3 miles. So much had gone on you didn’t even know what time it was, the party started early..around 5..so between that and the commotion it was only pushing 11 at night. Taehyung’s hand found a firm grip on your thigh as he drove.. Not saying much, and you were fine with that, you knew he had a lot on his mind right now. You felt his palm starts to massage your thigh, slowly making its way higher, and higher..eyes fluttering over in his direction while his stayed focused on the road. The sound of some form of R&B floated through your ears in the background, you were tensing your thighs not giving him what he wanted. You could feel, his nails digging into you until you spread your legs the way he wanted. 

“God your so damn sexy....” Always down to give you endless amounts of praise.

Letting his index finger sooth up your slit and your eyes glanced over at him, his jaw laxed and his neck reclined, there was nothing sexier than the way he reacted to your body. You could’ve sworn he was the one getting pleasured with the form of euphoria he was in. His fingers rocked up and down your clit  ,rubbing gentle circles, you could phsycaly hear how wet you were …his fingers were damn near sticking to you. “Tae..” Reclining back in your seat, letting your eyes flutter shut as you spread your legs even further, the needy cry left your lips as he slid two fingers in.

 “Baby, your already soo fucking wet, fuck, goodamn” His voice was so calm., and so smooth, as it laced through your ears, it was almost like you could feel every words course through your body. Going in knuckle deep making you slouch down completely in your seat, tightening your walls around his fingers “I know you fuckin love it when I get angry, You were standing over there with no fucking panties on just dripping down your thighs weren’t you baby? This pretty little pussy was just throbbing for me..” He continued to work you with his fingers, adding a third, as he curled them against you.

“Yes, fuck you already know how much I love it..oh my god you feel so good!” He continued to work you, while you felt yourself run down your thighs and his custom leather seats ..until you heard the GPS cut in letting him know he’d be turning in a half mile. You knew at that point once he entered a main road he’d need to focus. Needing him to stop before you got any closer you took a firm grip on his hand pulling his fingers away and lacing them into your mouth with a moan, purposely as you knew how much he loved that…a hiss left his lips as he watched  a slight chuckle leaving your lips as you pulled away. His hand landed right back on your thigh, still keeping a firm grip on it,, almost as if he didn’t want you to forget what he could do at any second..You watched him approach the fork in the road and you knew that’s where they’d separate. The road was quiet..didn’t seem like there were too many business on this side of town slightly rural.

While stopped at a light you both watched a black car pull out a lot and turn into the lane to your right, it was a standard cadillac, the windows slightly tinted . Neither of you seemed concerned Taehyung’s eyes did cut over quickly just out of habit, once the light turned green the car hesitated, it was almost like he purposely waited to go, wanting to be a couple feet behind Taehyung . It didn’t take long for one of his men to notice as he creeped up his speed a little to lock in the space behind him, incase this guy tired too. “Who the fuck are you..” you heard him whisper out to himself, he didn’t seem concerned, moreso intrigued.

 ‘Don’t worry boss I see’em” The voice that came through the speaker was Mazda, Johnny and himself are Taehyung’s right hand soldiers and he was also one hell of a driver. Taehyung sped up purposely to see if the other driver would react and he did. The grip on your thigh got tighter and you already knew you needed to make sure your seatbelt was buckled as tight as it could. “Once the light turns green, I’m blowing all of em the next 4 miles ..” He spoke into the speaker , Mazda didn’t verbally respond but you heard him pump his gas a couple times, causing a mischievous smirk to move up Tae’s face “Thatta boy..”.

The minute the light went green, he eased into it..staying at a steady 40 for a minute before quickly moving up towards 90. Blowing through the next 2 lights, as he approached the 3rd he clearly had a split second decision “Hold on love” He was still pushing 90 when he cradled the wheel in his hand, making tight, tightttt turn, completely spinning around in the center of the road. No other car would be able to handle a turn like that, thank God the road was pretty much dead or else you probably would have shit a brick with how fast he whipped that turn. Driving back in the opposite direction, before making a quick right down a side street. You heard tires screech and a slight thud, which Taehyung ignored if anything, the caddy hammered the break trying to keep up with Tae and whip that turn and Mazda purposely tapped him to give you guys time to speed off. His eyes glanced down at his Gps, noticing 2 streets down, was a dead end residential cul de sac. Easing down on the gas he turned down the side street. Upon approaching a stop sign he knew he needed a place to lay low for a couple minutes. 

One if his best skills is being quick on his toes deciding he was  going to his left,pulling up just enough to turn around. Shutting his headlights off heading down the side street, in reverse,not even sure if you could breathe at this point. Bagging into the driveway of the house at the end of the street. All the lights were off but it as clear people were home, fingers crossed know one looked out there damn window. “Where did you go!!?” Mazda finally spoke out probably tired of trying to find him. Taehyung had a tracker on the car he was driving but no one had one on his. Not trusting the possibility of someone snatching one of his mens work cars.

“I see you, stay where your at..I’ll be….” Pausing mid sentence watching a car creep down the opposite end of the dead end,but he actually had his lights on, another rookie move. You could tell by how slow he was driving he look for you two. “There ya go..keep drivin’ buddy..”  you felt his hand massage up your thigh, just trying to keep you calm. Squeezing his hand a little to let him know you were still good, even though your stomach was in 23422 knots you were still good. “Find me a busy Main rd, now! Unless you want to just start firing rounds at every damn car that looks suspect , so yes that means I’m firing rounds at every fucking black car I see …” you could hear it in his voice , he was tired, cranky,and fed up ! In his mind there’s no reason he should’ve been in this position to begin with. You watched his GPS reroute him, keeping his lights off until he made his way out of the subdivision. Once turning onto a back road, you watched Mazdas car pull into the left lane and it wasn’t long before that Cadillac was back.

“Alright buddy you wanna run , we can run !” Taehyung pressed on the gas , he could see a pretty busy intersection approaching at the end of this backroad.“How much do you trust me ?” He quickly glanced over at you honestly not sure if you wanted to respond.

 “Ughh, Fuckkk, more than I wanna admit ,why?” He could hear the timidness in your tone, not responding just smirking down at you with a dark chuckle that made your stomach turn. Reaching down to grab your hand, intertwining your fingers with his, he could sense you were nervous..pulling your hand up to his mouth leaving a couple delicate kisses. Fuck who was this man!?? Because this is not at all what your use too..Once the arrow turned green to approach the intersection he hit the gas to damn near a hundred and so did the Cadillac “Fuck Tae!!” You gritted our through clenched teeth. This street was busy really busy, as he weaved his way through lanes . In and out, in and out until he got were he needed to be, at this point the cady couldn’t keep with his his speed, skill or the aerodynamics of Tae’s car which allowed him to do this so effortlessly. There was only one turn needed before it was a straight shot to the bridge . The light was yellow , and you guessed it he blew it , turning red right as he was turning , taking a tight grip on the wheel spinning, damn near doing a burn out into the turn lane. “Kim Tae-fucking -Hyung” you damn near  screamed at him and all he did was laugh as he barely merged you two in between a truck and a semi that was also pulling into the lane from a gas station. 

It felt like your heart was in your damn pinky toe as you waited for the light to turn green. The minute the tail of his car pulled into the lane a truck blew by, if he miscalculated even by an inch you two could’ve been dead ! He smiled his big boxy grin back at you , and you couldn’t help but laugh “Shit Tae I almost pissed myself! What the fuck!” Punching his arm playfully even though in all honesty he deserved it . Leaning over placing a ton of messy kisses all over your face as you tried to swat him away, to be honest you did love the adrenaline rush, it didn’t take long for your yelling to turn into laughing!

Remember how I said he wouldn’t make impulsive dangerous decisions with you around? Well that was only if he wasn’t the one in charge, Taehyung was genuinely calm the entire ride. He knew how skilled of a driver he was and how much his car could handle. Even if it didn’t feel like it to you he was in control the entire time. The ride to the bridge the rest of the way was smooth . His men all tailing him when needed, the drive into the city was still another half hour though, the windows were cracked while Taehyung’s playlist streamed in the background  the cool airbrushing  over your skin made you doze off at some point. Glancing over at you periodically as the wind dusted over your body, you looked so beautiful and so peaceful, he literally wanted to scream, he found himself squeezing the wheel tighter than usual. Almost purposely wanting to inflict more pain on his already pulsing hand. How did he let himself get to this point with you? And why can’t he snap out of it tonight? It seems like everytime he catches himself, he slips right back into it.. He spent the entire drive home trying to wreck his brain, to rationalize what happened today. There just didn’t appear to be a point, it all just seemed like a waste of money and what was accomplished? Between the shoot out, ,the attempted kidnapping, AND who the fuck was in the Cadillac, and the red Corvette? Was this maybe a distraction for something bigger? Or was Marco just really this incompetent? Or were you two wrong was it even Marco? Who the flying fuck is Zeb!? The fact that nothing made sense..was unsettling to say the least, maybe that was the point…to make everyone feel uneasy…

Waking up to a couple airy kisses on your neck “Come on baby…” He whispered against your skin as your eyes fluttered open, you almost thought you were dreaming actually. He never used the pet name outside of sex, clearly he must be fucking delirious and exhausted … vision still a little blurry as you watched him walk over to open your door. Then you realized where you were, Taehyung owned a gentlemans club a really nice one actually it was in a 3 story brick loft, he had a secret penthouse apartment on the 3rd level. That only certain people knew about , it looked like something straight out of Aricturtial Digest . But due to the location Tae never kept anything..of value here, which may sound mind boggling as this place was lavish as all hell but the nice couches, the custom bed, full bar, walk in glass shower and blah blah blah, that didnt mean shit to him. Important stuff he stored, like pictures of his mom and family, gifts from his parents, family airlumes , that’s what mattered. Which he kept at his house which was gated , completely isolated and heavily watched. At the end of the day, yes this man loved a good Gucci suite but he knew what really mattered in life, and it wasn’t all this material shit. There was a separate closed off entrance to the building..it took you down alley..which was sandwiched between the club, and a packie that was beneath a small apartment complex. Your families owned the complex under a alailas LLC name as well, a lot of Tae’s soldiers lived in that building.  There was “secret” back entrance ,a double sided iron gate, you walked through to a covered courtyard esque walkway that lead to the back door of the building in which you were both greeted by one of his guards.

 “Bengie’s here by the way!” ..Bengie..short for Benjamin…slang for $100 bills..Bengie’s real name was Hoseok, he was there best launders, money, drugs, you name it, you figured he must’ve been here to either do a pick up…or a drop off on a run he just complete. He wasn’t to be fucked with, as he was also one of there cleaners if need be. Meaning if things got messy and someone had to be taken out….Bengies your man. Which is insane that he dose such a gruesome job because when this man smiles your face literally feels compelled to do it with him, like you don’t have a choice.

You two walked down the hallway,this wing of the building is where all the business that did not pertain to the actual club took place, The smell of expensive cologne and cigars hit your nose“ Hey, I need to make a couple calls, hang out here for a minute then will go upstairs for the night okay?” His tone was almost somber has he stroked your face, he knew you were tired..just nodding in response, as you continued to stroll down the hallway. Upon looking to your right you spotted a familiar face, the room was guarded instantly stepping aside once you go closer “Damn, they actually let your ass back over the border!?” Leaning against the door frame with a slight smile on your face as he glanced over at you. Always in black and always wearing sunglasses. He was tall. Not super skinny either, had a pretty good build on his, Dark locks that typically sat parted to the side, occasional falling in his face. Like Taehyung his skin also always kept a warm olive complexion but Hoseok in contrast to Tae, held a much thicker accent when he spoke. “Hi lovely” Smiling back at you as he strolled over giving you a warm hug. He always smelled amazing and he was fine, damn fine, but unlike Jimin and Namjoon, he was someone that could call Taehyung Tae Tae and he would answer. So you’ve never even entertained the thought no matter how good he looked! Also more importantly he had a lady..her name was Lola, but you all called her Bunny. On the surface she was a ballet  instructor but behind closed doors she was one of the accounts within the circle.  

Unlike Taehyung, he wouldn’t live in fear, no he didn’t broadcast it but it wasn’t necessarily a secret either.“I heard you two had an interesting night..” 

Scoffing in response as you ran your fingers through your hair“Yeah something like that, I still don’t get what really happened, just seemed like a damn mess to me ”

“I literally wanna rangle his throat, I can’t stand the kid, I already told Tae next  time I see him I’m knocking his ass out, bottom line!”  You watched him stuff some packages in a black leather YSL overnight bag.

 “Where ya headed?” 

“Hong Kong, then I’m stationary for a little bit. Thank God Bunny’s ready to kill me..” Smiling over at you as he continued to pack, still blew your mind that he did the type of work he did..he just doesn’t look like the type. But that’s what makes him perfect for the job.

‘Hey Luxx? V said he’s ready when you are!” Almost jumping at that offer god you were so ready to get in bed.

 “Okay tell him I'm on my way..” The guard nodded before stepping out and you walked over giving Hoseok one more hug before you left. You hugged him tight, you always did, he had one of the riskier jobs and you just never know..you never know. As cynical as it may sound, in this line of work, nothing promised, nothing.  

He chuckled a little once he felt the grip you had on him “Don’t worry sweetheart, I always find my way back home..You know this! I got too much to come back to, to go down without a hell of a fight!” Glancing back at you with a wink before giving you one of his infamous big smiles, that again it was impossible not to do in return.

~~~~~~~~

The two of you made you way up to his apartment, ironically it always seemed like you ended up here around the same time frames . After 10 when one or the both of you were feeling needy. Like I mentioned it was beautiful the man had great taste. You could either take the stairs or a private elevator both were key coded, and I believe his apartment door was literally bullet proof. Not that it mattered there was always a guard posted outside the door. It was a very open floor plan, 3 bedrooms, 3 baths, a walk in closet, full bar, gorgeous hardwood floors with high ceilings, exposed brick throughout.Taking your coat and shoes off you sat on his plush California King, when you watched him stroll over in your direction, only removing his suit jacket at this point slowly placing his hands on your waist “So, I know I said we could go to bed..” the minute he said that you rolled your eyes…already knowing were this was going “ Butttt…I gotta meet with Hoseok before he leaves for Hong Kong…” You couldn’t help but pout, you understood but you were feeling selfish you didnt care you needed him your thighs were still throbbing.

 Picking up on the oblivious pouty lip he climbed on the bed hovering over you, letting his lips brush over yours “But, go get in the shower, relax a little and when I get back up here….” He started leaving kisses down your neck, sucking down on the already bruised skin from earlier in the night. “ You know I’ll take care of you, I always do. I’ll eat your pretty little pussy until you come so hard you can’t see straight..” He breathed out against your neck as he hand crept up your dress, Teasing your slit with his middle finger as you arched into his touch.

 “Tae..” The breathy cry left your lips, as he slowly slid two fingers in , rocking them back and forth..pulling out to lace his tongue around them. Licking your juices off his fingers like it was the best thing he had all day “Soo fuckin good” . A cocky smirk left his lips as you whined once he pulled away

“I promise I’ll be back baby! I’m gonna turn on the shower for you before I go, if you need me call me, but Brice is posted outside the elevator if you need him.” You heard his voice echo off the marble walls of his bathroom. Placing a quick kiss on your forehead before heading out the door.Far too tired to dissect the sudden subspace he seemed to have crept into were he actually acted like he had feelings. 

Rolling out of bed you walked into his bathroom, it was all gray and white marble, his shower big enough to fit about 10 people and it had 4 shower heads,. Throwing your hair in a bun you stipped down before stepping in the shower. Just sitting down on the bench letting the water and steam consume you as you tried to relax. You stayed in there for maybe a good 20 minutes the sinks were on the opposite side of the room behind a wall, wrapping a towel around your chest you walked over wanting to brush your teeth before getting in bed you noticed a familiar box. It was from Agent provocateur, you felt like a kid on Christmas. Who didn’t love surprises, you honestly we’re not sure if he was serious or not when he said it in the car. it was really sexy that he wasn’t afraid to pick out what he liked. It was a 4 piece set, a bra, suspender, panties and thigh highs for the suspenders to hook through. All 3 clothing pieces had black trim, the actual material was a mesh tuell, so the bra panties and suspenders were completely see through with slight black and silver glitter throughout. The underwear were a cheeky fit, and the bra had amazing support , the pieces just hugged every inch of your body perfectly.. Taking your hair out of the bun, lathering your body in lotion before putting the pieces on, giving yourself a couple one overs in the mirror. You couldn’t even deny it, you looked good, damn good! Walking out of the bathroom, strolling into the bedroom you were too focused adjusting the straps to the suspenders to notice was was standing in the doorway. He cleared his throat and you instantly snapped up, eyes meeting his with a slight smile as your ran your fingers through your hair, strolling over to the bed slowly, making sure to let your hips sway as you walked. He watched your every move carefully  as you readjusted on the bed, reclining on the bed slightly keeping your eyes locked with his.

You’d never get over the way he looked at you in moments like these, it’s what kept you coming back. When the two of you had sex, all his walls came down that’s when he was vulnerable and affectionate, the first time he ever called you baby was when he buried deep was inside you, hand around your throat making you cum. Typically that’s the only time you heard that name until tonight.. You watched his eyes trace over your slowly , letting his tongue trace over his bottom lip taking in every inch of you. God you looked even better than he imagined . Still leaning against the door frame, hand in his  pockets, head resting against the wall he hadn’t said anything yet and it was killing you . It was like he could sense it though the minute you went to speak up “I don’t know why you’re staring at me like that you know what position I want you in . You’re only torturing yourself I’m sure your already soaked, lay the way I want you…” His voice was so calm, yet so assertive, and he was right you were already soaked, the sound of his voice alone did things to your body that you couldn’t even explain. You could tell the mood he was in tonight, not wasting any time your rolled over,  crawling up the center of the bed. Getting down into one of the deepest arches you could! You heard a deep growl leave his chest as he walked towards you . 

His hand soothed up your ass slowly before slamming back down on it hard causing your whole body to jerk. “Don’t make me have to tell you what to do next time, you already know what I like..” You felt the bed shift as he crawled up the bed , lips finding their way up your back as his hands massaged your shoulders, Letting his hands palm your hips and he gently grinded his clothed body into yours, just teasing you for the hell of it. Digging his thumbs into your sides “Fuck your so perfect, god. Look at you.” The sound of his voice almost like he couldn’t believe it, couldn’t believe he got so lucky. Marveling at how amazing you looked in the mesh material, how confident and sexy he could tell you felt in it. His hands moved up the front of your body, massaging your breasts through the thin material as they traveled. Letting one hand find a place around your neck, With a firm grip he pulled your body against his, making you flesh with his chest. Reclining your neck against his shoulder as he sucked on the skin beneath your ear. His other hand teased your bottom lip as he watched you suck his fingers into your mouth, a slight moan leaving your lips.

“Your so damn sexy you know that? ” his words coming out almost as a moan as he rocked his hips against your ass, sliding his fingers out, creeping past the hem of your panties to  massage your clit. Digging your nails into his arm your neck rolled back on his shoulder, grabbing the back of his neck, pulling his lips down to yours.  He kissed you hard, lacing his tongue against yours as you moaned out into his mouth, deepening the kiss bringing his hand up to cup your face, while his other left your core to squeeze your ass. “Bend over for me baby..” Re adjusting your body in the same deadly position ou started in, like he said earlier he loved you ass up , lingerie. Grabbing both thighs he let his hands roam your body, starting by massaging your hips as kissed his way up the back of your thighs. Slowly making his way over to your ass alternating between kisses, and digging his teeth into the sensitive skin leaving small little reminders that every inch of you was always his regardless.

Breathy moans left your lips and your hands palmed sheets in anticipation “Baby , have I ever told you how perfect your pussy is ?” Before you could even respond you felt his finger hook the material out of the way.. his lips kissed up your folds . While his hands massaged your ass, you could hear him moan against your core. Always sounding like he was genuinely enjoying pleasing you at first they were just simple kisses, the feeling of his plush lips along your core. Then suddenly his tongue got involved and your whole body jerked away from him  , as you were caught off guard by the sudden feeling causing his hand to slam down hard on your ass again . Rule number one when he was in control he was in control unless he told you to move you didn’t move. 

“Tae..” the cry left your lips so faint as you face meet the bed, keeping his tongue flat and complete extended from his mouth he made multiple slow long, strokes up and down your slit, occasionally teasing your entrance with his tongue. The grip on your ass got tighter , your body was still subconsciously jerking away from him, it had been literally almost 2 months since he tongue was on you like this, and you were so sensitive. “Be a good girl, you can take it..” Letting his tongue roll against your clit before sucking it in his mouth completely , while he effortlessly slid two fingers in, you were already dripping down his face.

 “Oh fuck.” You felt your body jerk again but this time you accidentally slid further down on the bed, which was a mistake because it actually gave him better access.  It felt like your mind went blank when he touched you, nothing else mattered all you could focus on was how fucking good you felt. As he continued rocking his fingers against you, long enough to hit all the places you needed while the moans leaving his mouth sent vibrations echoing through your entire body.

“God you have such a pretty pussy, always gets so fucking wet for me, taking my fingers so well..” He praised against your folds, which only made you tighten your grip around him “Arch up more for me baby, come sit your pussy on my face..” God the sound of that set your stomach on fire , flipping over on his back, he reached out for your hips. Placing you right were he wanted you. He always preferred for you to ride his face from the front, because then he could see every expression on your face. He had you your body slightly elevated so his fingers could access you as well. Snaking his hand behind your thigh sliding 2 fingers in slowly curling them upwards as he wrapped his tongue around my clit . Sucking in slowly and your entire body immentially tightened around him, thighs already starting to spazz.

Rolling his tongue up…and down ending the motion by wrapping his lips around the tip of your clit suctioning his lips around the nerve humming out, radiating vibrations through your core. . Treating your clit the same way he did your mouth, his tongue, licked, sucked, twirled, it’s way around every inch of your most sensitive area.“Oh-myyyy-fuckkkkk” it felt like you were straining to get words out, your body reacted to him like its been years since you been touched..like this. 

Arching back slightly letting your hands roamed up the front of your body before finding their place in your hair as you started rolling your hips up into his mouth. Which he fucking loved, this man lived for you to ride his face. Reclining your head back,as your eyes fluttered shut .It felt like he placed his entire mouth on it , his tongue moved slow but wide …it was like he was getting in …every inch of you. Placing his tongue directly on the head of your clit ,flicking it…toying with you a little giving you the sensation of anticipation, your body jerking against his tongue every time. Occasionally teasing at your opening siding his tongue in:..and out …”God yes, fuck baby…”you were starting to grow more and more sensitive as he let his tongue mercissily attack your clit.

Thighs trying to clench around his head involuntarily, you could hear him growl against your dripping folds as your juices ran down your thighs and his face , as he’d yanked your legs apart so you weren’t restricting him. His hands steady massaging your thighs, moving to cup your ass so he could push you closer into his mouth.,You could feel him start to slow down and you wanted to cry you were so close and you knew exactly why. Looking down eyelids heavy only to find him looking up at you as he rolled his tongue against your core . He loved  eye contact …every time  you’d look away he slow down or smack your ass.. “Good girl” His words came out gravley against your center as he slid his hand back under your thigh to continue working you with his fingers. The base in his voice sending waves through your body “Fuck ..baby dont stop, don’t-“ As your msucles started to tense, his motions got more Intense sliding his finger out making you sit completely against his mouth before just applying steady pressure . Sucking on your clit until your entire body unravled above him and he didn’t stop .

Your body collapsed down on the bed over him as you clawed at his sheets, not even able to cry out anymore while your entire body trembled. Your mind was still hazy,you almost felt high you were on such a wave right now.His hands found there way to yours  intertwining your fingers with his, but don’t be fooled this endearing moment was also a way to keep you put.  He could feel how hard you were shaking and he didn’t ease up, keeping his lips pressed against your clit as he left faint kisses up and down your core, wiggling his fingers free, his hands roamed up and down your back as you tried to remember how to breathe. Wiping his face with his hand, as he smirked up at you.. Rolling you over gently he hovered over you, kissing your forehead, while massaging your thigh. Leaning down letting your lips connect to his, the taste of your juices fresh against his tongue as you moaned out into the kiss. 

Panting against his tongue, while your chest felt like it was collapsing..thighs still spazzing even as you laid flat on your back “Breathe, baby breathe..” breaking away from the kiss to press his lips over every inch of skin he could reach in an attempt to calm your body down. 

The moment was great until outta nowhere you heard a loud bang on his door the two of you couldn’t help but jump as his apartment was completely silent prior, “You have got to be shitting me..” He rolled of the bed beyond furious grabbing his gun off the table before walking over to check the monitor to see who was at the door. It was one of his guards and…Namjoon? You heard slight conversation but you couldn’t make it out, your body too weak to care honestly.

“Hey Luxx? Can you come out here for a second? “ Jumping of the bed, almost falling actually as your legs still felt like mush, grabbing a robe before tilting your head out of the room 

“You have got to be shiting me! Do you know how long I’ve been looking for your ass!? Why is your phone dead!?Do you realize I could be sleeping or,getting fucked right now!? Instead I’m not I’m here but clearly you did so at least one of us are happy!” He was furious,But Taehyung and yourself couldn’t help but snort out a laugh at how angry he was.. and then it clicked, you kinda sorta forgot to call your dad. You stared back at him completely blank, I mean what the fuck was there for you to say? You fuked  up.. 

“Really luxx? You know the way Sunny is! Are you trying to get my dick cut off?Have you forgotten how much you beg for this thing?!You heard me tell him I’d-!” Even Though his tone was slightly playful he was serious, he promised your dad he’s get you out safe, so it wasn’t a good look by any means that it’s going on 230 in the morning and he hadn’t heard from you. He was honestly probably planning Taehyung’s funeral as we speak. 

“Shit, I know, I know,I’m sorry, I’m really sorry tonight was just..a mess! Joonie  call my dad please.“

  ‘Sure..” His tone was beyond dry he was officially done with you for the next few days at this rate. Placing the call on speaker you heard it ring, and your stomach turned 

“Talk to me kid, did you find her?! God I swear If not I’m gonna kill Tae-” 

” Hi dad…” Trying to sound as sweet as possible but that shit wasn’t flying…’

“Are you fucking kidding me !? God your lucky your my baby girl because if you were my son I’d bash your head in in right now, I’ve been having a heart attack! If it wasn’t for Taehyung having the common sense to at least call HIS father. I wouldnt have a clue where you were! Shit Y/N..I’m just..” The more he talked the calmer he became...originally his tone was on 10..damn near screaming through the phone “I’m glad your okay especially after what happened with Park Jr tonight!! I just- I’m just glad your okay…!”  his tone now went from calm went  to almost..exhaustion but the more important thing in all of this ..what the fuck happened to Jimin!?  

All three of your faces reflected confusion and concern “Dad…” Your tone indicating you needed him to go into greater detail…there was a slight pause before he continued which only had you more concerned .

“He’s fine, at least in comparison to the guy who tried to hit a lick on him. I don’t know for sure..he got a phone call from someone who he thought was one of the caregivers…but apparently it wasn't…” Your brow furrowed in, in frustration, and confusion honestly. He was being very vague which was frustrating to say the least 

“For what? Tree? ‘ Taehyung cut in. Your father let out a deep sigh it was clear he didnt wanna get into this tonight.

 “It was laced, purposely it was a special batch that was intended to go overseas..actually it’s one of the batches that’s supposed to go with Hoseok…Which I’ve already dealt with by the way.”   You all still stayed quiet, there were too many missing pieces to this story. But more importantly, somethings wrong..really fucking wrong how are people suddenly infiltrating your circle so easily!?

“Alright, well with that being said, meet at the ferry at 1..were going to the Island to meet Dino for dinner..please don’t call Jimin let him rest, he’s still a little bruised up, he will be there tomorrow! Luxx, baby I love you, Taehyung, thank you! ..thank you..Joon, sorry she wasted your night! “ He hung up after that, abrupt and in true Sunny fashion, granted it was pushing 3Am though. Still he didn't even wait for any of  you to respond, because he didn't want one. Not in the mood for a million questions while you 3 just kinda stared at each other mind fucked. 

Dino was Leo’s brother, the island was private property and you guys owed a ton of land over there, and ran some of your business on that side of town. The air stayed silent until You heard a morbid chuckle come  Namjoon’s direction “Tomorrow’s gonna be fun..well, it’s late, as hell and I’m exhausted so I’ll see you guys at 1 ….apparently! Lux I’m still mad at you..but I’m just glad your okay!” You smiled back at him,. Reaching over to give him a quick hug mouthing out “I’m sorry” as you pulled away.

  “V, always a pleasure man!” . Once he walked out, Taehyung’s eyes cut over to you, He was pissed, his word was all he had, so he still wasn’t happy that you never told your dad you two were okay..even if it wasn’t until you guys back to his apartment that’s still been damn near 2 hours! He didn’t say anything as he grabbed a glass off the counter, that had some sort of Bourbon as he walked over to have a seat on the couch.

You let out a whiney sigh before following  him, crawling over to straddle his lap, he wasn’t happy, not even a smile in site “Baby I’m sorry..I’m sorry…” 

Taking the last sip of his drink his brow raised in slight amusement of your whining “Mmm,you’d be really sorry if one of your uncles showed up here with a gun to my head huh?” His tone was stale, fuckk you were in trouble..You were pouting and he didn’t care, he straight faced the hell outta you. Leaning down you nuzzled your lips in the crook of his neck, while your fingers worked the buttons of his dress shirt, leaving kisses down his neck to his collarbone. Once his shirt was unbuttoned your hands went to work his belt buck, he still didn’t say anything eyes trained on yours,.Pulling the zipper down, you started palming him through his boxers.

“You can look at it all you want but it’s not gonna suck itself” There was no sense of warmth in his tone at ll yet, for some reason that turned you on even more.  He lifted his hips a little so his pants and boxers weret adding pressure, he was already semi hard, which isn’t surprising. Damn near everything you did turned him on “Don’t even think about..” you looked back at him in confusion as to why he would stop you from sucking him off “Take your damn robe off..you know better” How could you forget again..ass up, untying the rob letting it fall where it landed “If your good maybe I’ll play with your pussy while my cocks in your mouth, I’m sure she’s still soaked,  probably actually getting wetter as I speak…” His tongue laced his bottom lip as he watched your every move.

Lowering yourself, placing your tongue right at the base licking up slowly, lapping your tongue around the tip and back down the other side .Repeating the motion until he was completely coated, breathy moans started to leave his lips as his hand found the back of your neck. Once you knew he was lubricated enough you took half of him in your hand and the rest in your mouth. Placing your lips on the tip, going as low as you could before you started to gag “Fuckkk, that’s it baby…” Pulling back you spit slightly on his tip letting it drip down as you started to work the base in your hand, bobbing your head, letting your lips touch your hand every time so every inch of him was covered. Moaning out against his cock as you honestly enjoyed pleasing him hearing his low gravely moans because of you were one of your biggest turn ons. You felt him start to palm your ass with his opposite hand, still keeping one in your hair. His fingers started teasing your slit which was still drenched “Fuck baby, your still so fuckign wet, you like sucking me off baby? Does it make your pussy wet knowing how good you make me feel ? Fuck you take me soo well.” He started rocking your body as he worked you clit causing you to bob your head harder but he wasn’t too rough so you didn’t mind, as he slightly rocked his hips into you. 

“God, I love fucking your throat” Your moans against him got even louder as he started rubbing your clit more aggressively before sliding two fingers in. You keep bobbing your head and working him with your hand, as you got closer to the tip you’d suck down a little harder knowing that was his soft spot. Your eyes fluttered up, just in time to watch his close in pure pleasure as he sunk down deeper into the couch.You could feel him pushing harder and harder against your tongue and you knew he was close. Pulling back you swirls your tongue around his tip a couple time before fully deep throating him. Letting him hit the back of your throat everytime he actually loved hearing, and feeling you gag around him. You knew your limits though, almost able to take all of him in once you were warmed up enough, throat completely relaxed.

“Fuck, keeping going baby, make me cum, I’m so close Y/N fuckk..” You couldn’t even believe the sound of his voice right now it was soo deep, and breathy he was so vocal tonight and fucking loved it. You felt the grip on your hair get tighter and you swatted his hand away from your clit, you knew he was close and having him working you while you worked him was too distracting while trying to get him off. Too fucked out to even care as he looked down at you with hooded eyes. Taking him back in your hand while you worked the tip with your mouth, applying more pressure towards the tip you feel him start to throb repeatedly and you knew it, he…was cumming “Fuckkkk” he looked, and sounds so good when he comes, the words coming out in a low breathy moan as you watched his chest rise and fall. Not pulling away until you made sure you took all of it, not leaving a single drop. Releasing him from your lips with a loud “POP” as you smirked up at him, gripping your waist he yanked you up on his lap. Gripping the back of your neck, crashing his lips into yours. Taehyung  actually loved the taste of his own cum, your tongue lathered along his was the only thing he wanted while his body was fully coming down from it’s high.Grinding our hips into his as he kissed you even deeper, he was still moaning into your mouth , and you felt like you could come all over again just from that alone.

You felt him start to laugh into the kiss before pulling away “I’m still mad at your bratty ass.” A snarl left his lips as he swatted your ass, just plopping your head down on his chest, not even bothering to respond. You just sucked the life outta his dick he’d get over it. Wrapping one arm around your waist the other found you hair, gently running his fingers through the strands. Before you knew it you fell asleep,his first instinct was to move you, it felt ..too good to have you that close to him like that. But he didn’t, to be honest he needed it because he couldn’t sleep, way too much on his mind. They found his driver and he was pretty banged up. “Justin” is just a generic name for the driver, trying to keep them as close to a John Doe as possible.., he actually wasn’t sure which one of his guys were picking him up. It was Andre and he was 19…the youngest person on the team and the ONLY reason he’s involved is because he’s one of his father’s guards son. 

To make it worse it was his first and probably his last job,due to him technically getting car jacked that’s a pretty legit and unfortunately common thing so he was taken to a regular hospital. All Taehyung could think about, was due to Marcos ignorance two young kinds got fucked..he was furious ...and now Jimin. He may have technically been one of your fathers men but you guys all worked together..it took everything in him, not send his men to drag Marco back to him by the balls! It also didn’t help that he couldn’t figure out who was tailing him in that car. The one thing Taehyung always had was control…and it seemed like that was slipping away away between work and you, he just couldn’t shut his mind off. After getting zero sleep he decided to make a trip to the hospital around 6am to see Andre!

Not sure when he put you in the bed, but clearly it happened at some point also removing the lingerie  as he knew it had to have been sticky and uncomfortable by now. You were woken up by the sound of your phone having a seizure as your assistant was calling. Once you looked down you noticed it was a quarter to 10 “Yeah..” Your throat was raw as you spoke, you could blame a combination of Taehyung and lack of sleep 

“What are you doing about clothes? I’m assuming you don’t have any with you sooo..am I bringing this rack over and your makeup?” Rolling over on your back letting out a deep so breath, fuck you were still tired “Ughh..hold on a sec” You could hear the based in his voice from across his apartment, you knew how iffy he was about just anybody knowing he also lived here. So you thought you’d ask if he’d prefer one of his guards to grab your stuff. Placing the call on mute you through on a rob as you were completely naked and you didn’t wanna run the risk of someone being out there, making your way to the spare bedroom you knocked on the door frame. It was open but out of respect for his call you wanted to give him a heads up, he was speaking in his native tongue and you were pretty sure it was his father. 

Due to doing a lot of business in Korea you understood it a lot better than you spoke it, you could already tell from the tone of the conversation it wasnt good. Smiling up at you he signaled for you come in, placing whoever on hold “Yes?.” you could tell from his voice and his eyes he was stressed and tired, dressed in a all black, black fitted bomber jacket, black veck, black skinnies, black boots, and a black hat. To be honest his outfit choice was kinda casual for him, granted everything was designer and still probably 2 grand on his body but..you just knew he was in a mood, and this was going to be a long ass day.

 “I need, my clothes and stuff, well actually I guess I could get ready at my place…”  Having a split second decision as you honestly didn’t stay over long after sex not that he’d ever put you out.But let’s just say you’ve been there done that and it typically dosen’t end well. Yet his face almost looked annoyed once you said that..

“Actually I just sent Jhonny to get you breakfast from you favorite little cafe up on 22nd he can swing by a pick it up.. You had a long night.. Just relax…”  Pausing for a second as you clearly didn’t expect that, and you weren’t complaining .

“Oh..okay..thanks..so that means you got me waffles?” Your tone showed you were uncertain and he just scoffed rolling his eyes 

“Yes..” While in contrast he was clearly saying “No shit!” without actually saying it 

“Well you know I like Powdered su-” 

“ Really? Luxx get outta here I know what I’m doing!” Swatting you out the room as he stepped back on his conversation, and now you couldn’t help but roll your eyes, taking the call off mute “Hey..yeah Johnny’s gonna come get it, so just pull a couple pieces off the rack, and grab my makeup bag, the big one with the standard LV monogram has everything I need in it..k..thanks!”

Your curiously got the best of you as you lingered by the door, from what you can make out it sounds like a distributions went south. You guys dabbled in a ton of trades one of your most successful outside of drugs? Counterfeit goods, especially luxury ..the irony in that right? All the people that buy  high quality “designer” things on Amazon and AllieExpress and etc that know there knock offs, or from The Alley in LA. There's a good chance they came from your shop one way or another..even if your just the person that provided the connect..that still came at a fee. Both of your fathers owned a couple shops that produced the goods. It seems something went wrong with one of the freight trucks but you couldn’t really understand it. But since it’s business you were also involved in first hand you knew you’d hear about it so you gave up on trying to translate, heading back to his room, deciding you’d shower, brush your teeth and curl your hair since you at least had your flat iron here and hopefully by then you’d have clothes and food.

Before hopping in the shower you tried giving Jimin a call but he didn’t respond, you couldn’t help but get concerned when a couple minutes went by without him reading your text. Part of you wanted to send one of your men by his house, and or the dispensary but you decided to stop acting psycho and wait  until you saw him at 1!Halfway through doing your hair, Tae came into the bathroom, you had your headphones in so you didn’t even hear Johnny come back. Standing in front of the bathroom mirror in nothing but a sheer pink bra and panty set, of course you had a ton of lingerie here if nothing else. His hands cupping your ass as he entered the room, already having your waffles on the plate, Whipped, creamed, powdered sugar, and strawberries already on top. You couldn’t help but smile at the fact that he got your order right, but you weren’t going to say anything but thank you, this man’s ego is big enough. 

“Yeah I know I’m the shit, now stop doing you hair and eat, because you know if it gets cold you won’t eat it!” He was right you hated cold food and you weren’t a fan of microwaving shit either. 

“But I’m doing my hair, this is a process if I stop I won’t wanna finish..” Rolling his eyes and he leaned against the wall 

“Right, but again, your bratty ass does not eat cold food Luxx, what the hell do you want me to do? Feed you?” You actually hadn’t thought about that but it didn’t sound like a bad idea, You shrugged batting your lashes at him, a dramatic sigh left his lips and he walked towards you “Oh fuck me” you could help but laugh at his angry mumbles

 “Wow, wait till all the guys hear about what there boss did…” Smirking over at him as he picked up a waffle on the fork, eyes meeting yours completely unamused 

“If you tell anybody I did this I’m never giving you head ever again! Now open your damn mouth” Almost choking on the first part of that but you knew he was all talk he’d actually cave first.

He stayed pretty quiet at first while he fed you a couple pieces while you finished your hair, but you could tell something was on his mind  “Hey, umm about last night, -” You already knew where this was going, letting out a deep sigh as you rolled your eyes,.

“Kim Taehyung if your standing here about to apologize for actually being human for once and just living your life.I’ll burn your ass.” 

“Luxx-” He tried to cut you off, and he got off the counter..stepping back from you a little.. tone surprisingly calm in comparison to how harsh yours was but you weren’t having it.

“No dude FUCK THAT, I thought we squashed this shit MONTHS AGO!!” Your voice echoed off the walls, you were literally screaming, you never yelled at him before, not even if it was work-related. 

“ I’m so tired of this, I guess I must just be real fuckin’ stupid for repeatedly putting myself through this!! I’ve known you for damn near 17 years ! Okay, neither of us has ever said he wanted this to be an actual thing, but fuck! You’re exhausting…how can you keep switching gears!? You literally bought me out a $500 lingerie set, just because. Yet we’ve never gone to dinner, or even hug out... just the two of us without you having to relate it to business. “Oh let’s go out to dinner to discuss this new deal..” Yeah sure Tae let’s go out to dinner at 11 at night half drunk to discuss fucking business!” 

Your eyes shot over in his direction surprisingly he gave you direct eye contact, jaw tight..letting you have your moment. But to be honest, for some reason it only made you angrier ”Or fuck just remove me from the equation, in general, your like this with any girl you’ve ever entertained!  In case you forgot the night your mom died..mine did too! I felt the same fucking pain as you and I watched my dad crumble the same way! But I didn’t let that fucking tarnish me, believe it or not I’d still wanna fall back in love one day! We can’t change the life we’ve grown up in, and in all honesty, for the most part, were pretty fuckin lucky! But as strong as you are with everything else..it’s almost  like you’re so terrified of your life that you won’t let yourself Live it fully..”

It didn’t even feel like you took a single breath while you spit all that out, not having the energy to continue at the volume you were originally. “ I mean shit It’s almost like having a sugar daddy at this point..” The minute you said that his eyes cut over to you, the look he gave you was cold, he didn’t ike that ...at all.

“You know exactly what I mean Taehyung, No emotion right? The only time you let me feel something is when your balls deep in me! The way you were yesterday…I’ve only gotten that once in a blue moon and that’s fine if that’s the way you want this to be. But you need to get your shit together stop playing games..it’s either black or white because clearly, shades of grey stress you the fuck out!”

Whipping your flat iron across the room, not even caring that it splattered along with his marble.

“It wasn’t supposed to happen like this...I don’t know how it got to this point...” He was looking at you but he wasn’t really looking, damn near looking straight through you...

 “It’s not even just that, It concerns me, with everything you deal with that your so closed off, maybe ‘i’m being naive and assumed because you at least show me more affection even if its brief….  than you’ve showed anyone that I’m..like…I don’t know.. fucking special or something and you’d-” A dry scoff left his mouth as you said that, instantly pissing you off as you weren’t even sure how to interpret that! Was he agreeing you were naive? Was this secretly how he treated other girls? 

“And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Your tone was stale, and lacked emotion at this point because why should you be the only one showing any? The room fell silent for a moment and to be honest, the silence was awkward, to say the least. Clearing his throat as he walked towards the door, leaning against the frame…

“It means as a man, it’s my job to keep the people I care about safe and I can’t even do that right now.” You watched him fiddle with the two Cartier rings on his fingers Clearing his throat again before continuing “ I can’t even keep my men safe right now, and I hate it!  It was Andre by the way..he was the driver who was supposed to pick me up..now he’s probably going to spend his 20th birthday in the hospital having fucking surgery, because of me. That alone kept me up all night, now imagine if that was-” He cut himself off, shaking his head, almost like he was telling himself to stop, not even wanting to continue that thought,you watched his nose twitch as he huffed in a deep breath. 

Your mind couldn’t help but wonder where he was going with that.. Yet as frustrated as you were you felt for him when he said that and you were sure your facial expression probably reflected it. Regardless of the fact that his father still ran their circle along with his brother over the past year Taehyung has been given a lot more authority to run his own trades. So with that being said his men weren’t his father‘s responsibility they were his and I guess you don’t really think about it because you’ve been treated like an adults your whole life but most of the men calling him boss are old enough to be his father. Yet in his eyes it’s his job to keep them paid and even though a lot of them are technically his security he feels like it’s still his job to try to not put them in positions where they have to risk their lives for him constantly. 

At the end of the day regardless of how smooth it was running you guys don’t just own a couple Dunkin Donuts and call it a day,it’s still drugs, weapons,counterfeit goods and even the occasional “Hit teams”. So yes, granted Taehyung should be a little heartless and removed when it comes to business, but not his personal life and that’s where he was struggling.

 “Again, I’m sorry about yesterday, your right, I can’t do shades of grey, I was...I was just having a moment. Were different people Luxx just because your so willing to subject yourself to that kind of pain..doesn’t mean I am… I can’t!..And I won’t apologize for protecting myself…I’m not my father…” His voice broke slightly as he finished his thought….

“Like you said it’s either black or white, we both knew what this was when it started and somehow it drifted away from that. It’s on you, if you wanna take it back to how it was…or let go...” 

Your jaw clenched involuntarily  as those words left his lips, he was right, shit had shifted, and you’d prefer if you were both on the same page. You just couldnt wrap your head around the fact , that that’s where he took this..so willing to disreagred that fact thst theres clearly so much more than sex here..so much more! Damn fear held that much power over him huh?!

He was also very mono tone as he spoke, no emotion came through, he looked fuckng exhausted. It was clear everything that was going on was eating him up…regardless that broke your heart.

“Okay?” There was a slight inflation in his tone for the first time...you silence catching him off guard.

“Yup, I got you…”There wasn't even a word to describe the amount of sarcasm and pettiness that left your lips right now.

“Y/N-”

“I said, I.Under.Stand….V I got you..” The slight change in the way you addressed him has his eyes bulging out of his sockets. Ya know he actually had the nerve to look somewhat hurt? A dry scoff leaving his lips. A ring on his cell pausing any additional conversation. 

“Alright, well, I’ll be downstairs let Brice know when your ready to go….” He wouldn't even fucking look at you, It was crazy how he already seemed emotionally disconnect from the conversation. Yet no matter how pettie you were being you actually wanted to cry. 

You heard him walk out of the apartment. About 10 minutes went by of you just sitting on the counter, sobbing actually, it just felt like everything was sitting on your chest. To be frank you weren’t sure exactly what made you breakdown.., your head hurt, actually correction your entire brain hurt, from Marco, to Taehyung, to the distribution truck, Jimin now Jordan ..it was just a lot! You finally pulled yourself together though, you didn't have a choice, your original plan was to get all glam and wear a dress and thigh highs but the ambition for that went out the window, If you didn’t look like death from your previous night you wouldn’t have put on makeup. Throwing on a pair of blacked out aviators letting Brice know you were ready to go. To your surprise once you got in the blacked out Escalade Taehyung was also in the backseat. He didn’t say anything , and neither did you, the ride to the ferry was silent but luckily for both of you having business to attend to on your phone not as awkward as it could’ve been. You got one glance at him,  as his eyes cut cross to your window once a red corvette drove by… the look in his eyes were different, his eyes looked more prominent. They actually looked slightly puffy..had he been crying!? You knew better he’d rather shank himself then cry…but it definitely looked like it!.

Upon pulling up, you were confused to say the least  “What the fuck” Both breathing out in unison actually, which is the first thing you two had said to each other since your argument. The state trooper was there, and so was damn near everybody else..what I mean is, all 3 of the families involved, anybody that worked close within their circle was there. Meetings never went down like this,,,usually they’d just get conferenced  in. There was a good 35/40 people waiting to load this ferry, expect Leo’s, you figured they were already there since Dino called the meeting.. Fuck even Hoseok was there..why the hell was he not on his plane to Hong Kong!? 

Then you also noticed Namjoon, Jimin,Bunny..shit was serious if they were all here. “Yeah because this doesn’t look sus or anything!” You breathed out in sarcasm, while a low chuckle left his body yet he still hasn’t said anything else to you. Both exiting the truck going seperate directions. Hoseok’s lady noticed you right away running over to give you a hug “Luxx!!” Squeezing you tight, before descending into casual conversation which you were only partially listening too. She was a complete sweetheart, and honestly perfect for Hoseok! But your eyes couldn’t help but trace Taehyung. He just seemed like he was on an extremely short fuse today, didn’t matter that you were upset with him you still cared, always would. As you all waited for the Ferry to load, you watched a red porsche pull up  which didn’t mean much to you at first, then you recognized it. That was Leo’s it was his prized possession actually he rarely..rarely drove it!

Marco and one of his men stepped out the car “Fuckk..” it came out as a low whisper while your eyes immediately shot over to Taehyung, luckily Hoseok wasn’t far behind. It was clear Marco wasn’t invited though, some of the guards appeared to be asking him to leave. Originally blocking him from everybody else but Tae pushed his way right through the line, he didn’t need or want security right now.“Nah please let him through,so we can welcome him to the family properly..” Hoseok breathed out with a sly smirk and you knew this wouldn’t end well, these two were trouble together, have been since high school. Believe it or not Hoseok had an even shorter fuse than Taehyung. Everyone started to crowd around them them, blocking your view, which only gave you fucking anxiety.. As you started walking over in that direction..”Fuck yeah, where’s your boy from last night!? How’s his face feelin? Ya know if need be and he’s in a lot of pain I know a guy who has great bud!” You couldn’t see him but you could hear him, Jimin found his way over there.You could hear voices bouncing off of each other but it was getting harder to tell who was who until…

“Did you really show up here today? Are you really that fuckin stupid?!” You knew his voice anywhere..the base shot through everyone else and all you could hear was him, followed by a loud eruption of pure chaos..

There ya have it! Lol sorry it’s long hope you enjoy..

part 3 is up 

[musgo]

5 6 19

thank you so much for sending sdcjnskjdn i uhhhh recorded all of these basically immediately after you sent them but then i listened back and felt like i suonded so annoying and went on too long and my pronunciation wasnt very clear so i postponed posting them sdjnvdjs i decided to transcribe what i said (under read more) cause that makes me feel better abt it. 

5. I’ll talk about what I did today

https://vocaroo.com/i/s0z7uDDcKzjQ

6. I’ll talk about something I’m obsessed with/currently interested in

https://vocaroo.com/i/s0iLq52dlB1y  (the very good video i talk about: https://youtu.be/-6lMD9h_ix4)

19. I’ll talk about something I’m proud of

https://vocaroo.com/i/s0lPPvmwbvbI this ones the most ebarassing cause i decided to have fun and try switching to my alternative, vaguely british-inspired “accent”,,,, also the cohesion ... she just wasnt there.

5. today i went to college. i was really late and i missed the first class. i only attended one class today, cause i only have two classes per day rn - thats definitely gonna change next semester but anyway - the class was really good, the subject is Introduction to Literary Studies (i took a while cause i had to translate it from portuguese) but um yeah the class was about why humans create fiction. why humans.. you know.. how humans...... Human Nature is such that we are unsatisfied with reality and we create other lives and other experiences through fiction. and it’s not necessarily that we don’t like our reality, it could just be that it’s not enough; like, you could rly like your reality but you still have an innate, like.. NEED for experiencing Other Things that you couldnt in your own life. thats basically what the argument was, it was really interesting. and i rly like the teacher, she’s rly cool. so after that class i just had some lunch DELICIOUS the food in my college is so good ugh i love it so much and it’s just 2 reais for         for lunch when you’re a student there and it’s so good i’m.. ugh it’s the best part of college        cause its rly rly rly cheap for us students and it’s really good like It didnt even have to be that good cause it’s so cheap but it’s REALLY GOOD hh     um... yeah i love it  AND THEN after having lunch i went to the library which is a luh--another thing i rly like about my college cause  it’s the biggest library in my university.   so.. i study in the universtiy of são paulo which is one of the biggest universities in brasil .... so.. the campus is like rly huge and .. [i realized i was just explaining what a university is fsr?????? ]  uhhhh yeah i went to my library. [????? MY LIBRARY??? i dont own a library.] and i love my library theres like. i love to just walk around and see.    The Books cause theres like.. so such interesting books. and like books in so many languages... ugh it’s amazing so i went there to actually find some english learning books and i did , cause im trying to teach my sister english andt..    yeah i found this session-- Section. where theres all these    language learning books so theres like             a couple shelves that are like just english learning books and then theres a shelf thats just like japanese learning and then a couple shelves for russian   thens ome korean  some frickin SANSKRIT  latin ancient greek just everything . theeres also like indigenous south american languages which i was really happy to see and im definitely gonna check that out eventually but for today i just took the english ones cause ..  yeah i cant really  i dont really that much time and everyone for all that right now with college ..     AND THEN the rest of my day was that i left my phone!! cause i went to take the bus and  i left my pjhone on the bus stop.      i feel like my entonation is really annoying right now but yeah.. so yeah i left my phone on the bus stop and i was so scared.  i went back to the bus stop    got off the bus [wrong order] and it wasnt there , i went in the building - my college has 3 buildings for the different courses - i went in one of them cause i assumed it would be there because it was the closest to the bus stop so if somebody found my phone on the bus stop they wouldve taken it there and  left it there with the recepcionist or whatever so i went there and it wasnt there so iwas like “oh no its not here . maybe i left it in the bus instead of the bus stop and i just didnt notcie that it like fell from my pocket or sth.” so i took the bus again and went to the terminal which is where it would be if somebody found it in the bus and gave it to someone responsible for that stuff. but it obviously wasnt there. so i went home, very sad, This whole thing lasted like 2 hours and then its like over an hour for me to come home from college cause yk i live in a neighbouring city which is pretty close but its still an hour to an hour and a half everyday to go and ..... to go to and fro. is that how you say that expression idk . ...    and then when i got home!!!! i wnt in the facebook group of my college [course] to see if somebofy had posted something about a lost phone and Yes They Had they posted a photo of my phone and i was like oh thank god so im gonna get it back tomorrow. now im home im looking at my cat. occasionally looking after my nephews and my niece. and thats my day

6. i was sitting here thinking.. trying to think of something   and i remembered that--..............   Cause its rly hard for me to answer these questions where itsj ust one thing and i just..................          i just draw a blank whenever i get these questions but im just gonna say something that happened recently cause it was like : yesterday i found this video on youtube of a    an .. anemone? Swimming     like this starfish touches it and it like Changes Form it Elongates and just starts shaking to like get away. and its amazing it reminded me of how much i like Cnidarians(????)  the phylum .  the group of animals that includes jellyfish and corals, basically.   its just so cool like they alternate like one of the.... oh my gosh my house is so loud uhh...       yeah they like its really crazy i dont actually know a lot about it but i just think its so cool like the corals .. they.. reproduce.. and like.. their offspring sometimes is A Jellyfish . and then the Jellyfish sometimes produce Corals.   cause you look at the two things and they dont rly look that similar but they Are basically one and the same, and theyre Animals both of them just the same.  theyre just like inverted when you think about. its really cool and i didnt know that corals could MOVE like that just Get Out like... DeTach . from their thing and just start Swimming!! i had no idea that was a thing but yeah basically something that im obsessed with is um animals like that. the animals that arent chordates. so like sponges, cnidarians,  frickin ummmm echinoderms. You Can look at My Tags Page i have that stuff listed. i love it cause its so fun when you think about how theyre animals so theyre like closer to us structurally and cellularly than to other things.

19. you know. when people are mad at me for doing something not as fast as one possibly could or somethin like not understanding what they said or doing something a little bit wrong like following instructions a little wrong and you know when its not rly that important and people get mad and me for that and stuff.. i just.. i feel really happy that i'm not like that. cause i feel like most people around me.. they ARE like that like they just get so mad.. they allow themselves to get so mad about small things.. and i dont know i like that im pretty patient and i dont mind having to wait or to instruct someone a few times and correct them until they get it right and teach them and... all that. i dont know like i feel like.. idk im proud of myself for not like picking fights and getting mad at people for things that dont rly matter cause.. idk people around me do that a lot it makes me rly sad like... idk thats something i like abt myself i think i can like I'll feel angry sometimes and dont get me wrong anger is very necessary and its a very good thing when it is like... whats that word? its like... freakin.. deserved [i think the word i was looking for is "warranted"] like be angry at freakin capitalism or sth freakin racism you know set people on fire for that kinda stuff. but for small things on daily life i think people let it get to them too easily. and just create.. idk. it makes me sad so im happy that i dont have a lot of these impulses in these situations and when i do feel peeved from something petty im able to hold back cause im like.. its not worth it its just... this is so small. i'm.... you know? its not worht it.

[uzumaki-rebellion]

Black Boys Bloom Thorns First: Volume 2, Chapter 16

"I ain't tryin' to think about it, no Yeah, I said it, boy, get up inside it I want you to homicide it Going slow and I want you to pipe it Anything I kinda like ya Up against the wall, we don't need a title

Yeah, I said it Yeah, I said it, baby Yeah, I said it, man fuck a title…"

"Yeah I Said It" - Rihanna

Califia laughs as she twists and turns around Erik.

They spar together on the rooftop patio, their new cords swinging from their waists. Lia and Soliel jump in every now and then to test Erik and he skirts around them. Doing handstands and side flips that make them clap for him.

Lia sings an old capoeira fight song as Soleil claps along with N'Jobu who sits on a chair watching his son match his skills with hers. Her son is fast and he is bold. He is not intimidated by Califia's assertive kicks and leg work. Soliel joins Lia in singing and Califia holds up her hands. Erik saunters up to her by swaying low on the ground, his hips and legs and arms rocking back and forth in tandem before he presses his hands into hers and they dance together. Her eyes gaze into Erik's and she sees mischievous twinkling there. He breaks away from her and backflips into a handstand and uses his legs to come for her. She backflips into a handstand too and their legs and feet strike at one another twisting and twirling in offensive and defensive moves.

Califia widens her legs into the splits and Erik does the same. Rotating her feet and legs she has her son mirror her, training his core strength. Erik wobbles a little but he stays in tune with her lead.

She spins out and returns to her feet and he does the same until she makes her body small and dangerous, jabbing her hands onto his shoulders catching him off-guard. He falls over but regroups by spinning around trying various kicks on her. She allows his kicks to connect with her thighs and knees so that he can feel what his strength can do. She is impressed when he runs full throttle toward her planting his right foot on her bent thigh to catapult himself into another backflip. When he lands, he is in full ulwa mode, his hands spinning so fast and hitting her sides that she has to move quickly to defend her midsection.

She uses spinning and low ginga moves to block him until N'Jobu jumps in.

"JaJa!" N'Jobu calls and Erik turns to find his father in fight mode. Califia taps out and stands next to Lia and Soliel.

It is rare for her to see N'Jobu do any ulwa in front of others, but he seemed ready to take on Erik since he was switching up art forms. She found it thrilling to watch her little boy calculate moves so fast and flow into either fighting form when he felt the need. N'Jobu's size was the only thing holding Erik back from really teaching N'Jobu a lesson. She could only wonder and marvel at what Erik could do to his father when he was bigger and stronger. Creating a new mixed martial art form perhaps. Right now, his moves were seamless.

Erik's face became serious while working out with his father. N'Jobu called out Wakandan words that Erik knew. They sounded like movement instructions and Erik flowed accordingly. Until he was running up on his father like he did the man in the corner market.

"Jesus!" Lia exclaimed as Erik wrapped his legs around N'Jobu's neck. N'Jobu pulled Erik down from him.

"Where did you learn that?" N'Jobu asked.

Erik sat down on the cement patio panting and wiping sweat from his forehead.

"I just do it," he said matter-of-factly.

N'Jobu glanced over at Califia who shrugged. N'Jobu smirked and patted Erik's head.

"N'Jobu, that style of fighting is so fluid, so much like us," Lia said.

N'Jobu spent some time showing Soleil and Lia a few moves. Erik joined in and Califia watched them all. Especially N'Jobu. He had taken off his jacket to fight in his t-shirt and sweats, and his biceps flexed as he played with Erik and her friends. A breeze came through and ruffled Soliel's hair, the long curly pitch-black tresses flowing around her face as she spun around N'Jobu and Erik, pushing Lia into their path as she tried to block herself from Erik's hands that stuck out like sharp pincers. Lia swiped a leg that connected with N'Jobu's foot and tottered him back. He stumbled into Califia.

She grabbed a hold of his arms to keep her balance and when he twisted around to look down at her she felt a sense of déjà vu again. The feeling was visceral, his touch activating her always active sense memories. She thought of the first time he saw her spar with Bakari. His eyes had caressed her every move then. She had been sweaty, high, and feeling incredibly attracted to him. He was in relationships with several women, and that night after he first saw her do capoeira, she watched him in a private Karaoke Bar maneuver two of his lovers like an illicit tango. One of the women became one of her close friends. Serah. The woman who told her that this man fucked like a God. That he was loyal. And loved women.

At this moment she was feeling soft and loved and blessed to have him in her arms. That first stumble and touch from so long ago led to her being there, and behind them was the fruit of their union, a spitfire child who was brilliant and showing great athletic prowess. She began to have a yearning, a maternal tugging. Maybe it was time to make another little one. Maybe it was time for their baby girl to come along.

She leaned her head up and captured N'Jobu's lips in hers. She heard the heckling from Soliel and Lia. Their quick smooch was interrupted by the arrival of Marisol and Aunjanue with bags of ice cream and a small cake to celebrate their baptisado success. Erik ran after Marisol who held up a bag with the chocolate flavor that he loved. The two children ran into the kitchen to grab spoons and bowls.

Lia walked over to Califia and touched her shoulder.

"We should probably start getting ready after the cake and ice cream," Lia said.

They were going out to a local club to dance and celebrate. A little adult time. N'Jobu had originally planned to stay with the children until he learned that a newly divorced Axiel and some of Soliel's other male friends were joining them. Her playing coy about all their nighttime plans seemed to spurn N'Jobu into coming along just to keep an eye on her.

She still found it amusing that a man who was raised as a Prince, with all the trappings that came with it, a man who could have any woman he desired, got his boxers in a bunch when it came to little old her. When she was feeling especially horny for him, she would manipulate that need in him to keep other men away from her. She didn't think it was insecurity on his part, but this deep-set urge to have dominance over what belonged to him. That shit turned her on in the worst way. It was manipulative, but sweet baby Jesus, when she used it against him, played upon his need to covet her, he would get up in her guts and make her pussy sore. The type of soreness she liked every now and then. She needed him to punish her folds from time to time. Make her back and neck ache something fierce. Bruise her thighs. It made her feel powerful. Wanted.

Lately, she was needing that feeling more and more from him.

Once the children had been stuffed with too much sugar and dairy, Califia and the other adults bundled them up and dropped them off to be watched overnight by Lia and Soliel's parents.

She could feel N'Jobu's eyes on her ass as she walked arm in arm with Lia, swinging her butt cheeks a little too hard while wearing the sexy little blue dress she bought at the Bazaar just for their evening out. The first half of their evening was spent bar hopping and catching a late dinner at a steakhouse. Soliel's two male friends, Martine and Joao were funny and hit it off with N'Jobu quite well.

The local hip hop club was having a soul night, so the music was a mixture of Sao Paulo R&B & hip-hop with a few American songs thrown in, and a new trend in Brazilian music loosely translated as "gutter rip". It was a hard type of sound that was bubbling up from the streets and she loved it. She planned on bringing it back to the States with her to use in her dance classes.

Axiel was already out on the floor of the club. The place had a wooden roof with no real walls, just giant cement pillars that held up the roof, and an uncovered patio section that had couches and chairs spread around so folks could watch the floor and catch cool breezes and smoke. Califia wasted no time shimmying up to Axiel with Soliel and shaking her hips. Aunjanue kept Martine and Joao occupied with Lia. She saw N'Jobu hang back, taking in the scene, his eyes never straying from hers too long. When the dance floor grew dense, she waved her hands for him to join her.

She loved dancing with her man, but he wasn't the type to become flamboyant with his moves. He had confessed to her long ago that he loved to just kick back and watch her move. He was a very good dancer himself but never seemed to want to indulge too much when they went out. Probably because he didn't like attracting too much attention. However, his being insular and relaxed seemed to attract the women there and soon Califia found herself surrounded by chicks ready to pick up the slack if she faltered any time. N'Jobu held her waist, turning her every now and then so he could look at her from every angle.

His eyes flitted around the place, checking things and people out. She wanted him focused on her, but the open space had so much going on, and there were so many interesting people to look at. She had to admit her eyes were wandering and peeping the hot guys gyrating hips around her. She also had to admit that the women there were straight fire, so N'Jobu's wandering eye was understandable. She found herself staring at a lot of the women herself, admiring their outfits and hair, and occasionally gawking at some of their bodies. This part of town was very Black, and the African ancestry was prevalent by the high number shelf booty many the of the baddies were slanging around in tight outfits that left nothing to the imagination. Califia thought her dress was provocative by being short and tight, but compared to some there, she had on a nun's garb. And she wasn't mad at them. Sometimes it was good to be out there free with one's body. Being in their thirties now, she and her female friends moved around like mature club doyennes who could still bring it. It was evident by the number of younger men rushing up on them.

When N'Jobu bought her a drink at the bar, she wasn't surprised at the assertive plays made for him even while she was standing there. He had a lot of eyes on him when they were on the floor shaking it up. He passed on going back to dance again so soon, so she tossed back a calimocho and a cinnamon stinger shot and made her way back to the dance floor and back to Axiel who grabbed her hips in time to the new music craze.

Feeling loose, she tossed her ass back on Besouro, her eyes on N'Jobu as he waded through women chatting him up who thought he was American and available. Liquor warming up her veins and hard beats heating up her thighs, Califia felt her pussy jump when she saw N'Jobu lean in towards a big girl with a gorgeous smile and major curves who giggled at whatever N'Jobu was telling her. Him just talking and smiling was so damn sexy to her. And each time he had to lean in to make himself heard over the music by whispering in a woman's ear, Califia could clearly see the women reacting to the intimacy of his warm breath on their ear. He smelled like a million bucks and the robin egg blue shirt he wore made his melanin pop. He wore the thick silver chain she bought for him for his birthday and the midnight black jeans he sported gave him a casual but classy look. She kept admiring him as she danced. The woman he was with introduced him to one of her friends. She watched him shake the new woman's hand and order himself another drink. He wasn't even thinking about her cheeks slapping against another man's crotch. Nigga.

A tad bit miffed, Califia focused on the dance floor. So many fine men. The cinnamon stinger had her lifted, and she soon forgot about N'Jobu and concentrated on the sensations of the liquor in her system. She was now a mestre. All the long years of hard work and intense discipline had paid off. She was proud of herself. And she was proud that Erik was able to witness it. She needed him to see what he could do in the future if he wanted it as she did. Studied hard. Practiced. Focused on the outcome of his goal. Strict discipline. Visualizing himself achieving his goal. Her little boy was a badass and she took great pride in teaching him. She felt honored to be his mother.

She smiled to herself and let her arms wave in the air. Someone passed around a community joint and she clipped it, snagging two good puffs before passing it along and moving away from Axiel and joining Soliel. She was hunched up on a dude who was grooving deep and Califia tried to match his intensity.

The weed hit her hard, surprising her, and she became one with the music, her body slowing down and just vibing. The DJ tossed in some classic carnival sounds and the samba beats mixed with the gutter rip took her away. She felt like she was twenty again and up for anything. She twirled from dude to dude and enjoyed herself.

The deep bass reverberating from the massive sound system hit her chest hard and she couldn't help but groove to celebrate her achievement. She didn't have to worry about looking after Erik tonight, she could sleep in and worry about herself. She wouldn't see her son until later the next day, and that meant she could enjoy N'Jobu for a few hours alone. Such a rare occurrence. Adult alone time. Thinking on it heated her up. She wanted to look at her man's skin, stare at the way he walked, and drool over him as if she was just meeting him for the first time tonight. He looked so damn fine and was so nonchalant about it, even in a room full of equally intoxicating men. He was her Prince. Thinking on it more, she loved the fact that her man was royalty. No one else knew it, but they felt it while being in his presence. Even as he sat back at the baptisado being supportive and not attracting attention to himself, he was still capturing the attention of other men and women.

She herself could still feel breathless being around him. The liquor and weed had her feeling emotional and she found herself getting a little misty-eyed knowing that he had chosen her, some regular Oakland girl, and made her his secret Princess. Of all the women in the world he could've fallen for or been with, he aligned his life with hers. She wasn't rich or pursuing a lucrative career. They would probably have to live in their townhouse for many years before even considering a bigger place once Erik grew older and they added more children to their family. Unless he took them back to Wakanda, he would have to hide his full self as a simple man making a living cutting hair, hiding from his own people so many secrets. She wiped her eyes. He chose her. Gave her their beloved son. He loved them both unconditionally.

Spinning around she saw N'Jobu on the floor with the big beauty and another sexy young thang who was clutching his back. Califia felt her lips curl up. Should she go over and snatch him away? Or let him do his thing—

The hand snagging her elbow were assertive. She blinked when she was spun around. Martine's light beige-colored skin was sweating up a storm. She could feel the hot moisture from his body flicking onto her own drenched arms. She moved with him, pressing her breasts into his chest just to see what it felt like. She wanted to be flirty and naughty and did her best to be sexy without crossing the line. She wanted her man to feel a certain way and do something. She wanted him to come get her.

Two songs had come and gone before her eyes flitted over to find N'Jobu back at the bar speaking closely to another woman who had her hand on his arm and was running her fingers back and forth. He wasn't even paying attention to Califia. He had a drink in his hand, and when he finally checked the floor for her, he raised his glass to her, not even caring that a handsome stranger was all on her. The man was bumping into her ass in time to the music, taking advantage of her flirty behavior and N'Jobu wasn't even reacting like he normally would.

Nigga.

Lia brought her another drink on the dance floor before bopping off with her boyfriend who had finally arrived. The club was really hitting its stride by then and the thick crowd made it hard for her to track N'Jobu from the dance floor.

She walked around the club looking for him, thinking he had gone to a restroom, but she found him back on the floor with the woman who had her arm on him at the bar. The woman had body for days and Califia felt a bit intimidated watching her throw her big ass on her man's groin. When N'Jobu reached down and grabbed her hips to bump against her, Califia felt her pussy jump in her panties. She watched N'Jobu clutch the girl's hip with one hand while his other hand treked up her back and gripped her neck…

Califia felt like her face was sweltering. She didn't want to admit it but she knew her panties were hella damp. Strange. Observing him with other women made her feel so excited. She got to see how he moved, see how it must look when he was on her. He was just so smooth when he worked his eyes and lips. Once he had a woman in his crosshairs, he could go in for the kill just by speaking her name with his voice. His fake American accent was just as sexy as his normal voice.

The girl was winding her hips and she was looking back at him. Califia knew that look. It was telling him he could have it all. Right there on the dancefloor. And N'Jobu was grinding on her knowing he could take it. Califia knew his dick had to be hard. The music playing had everyone on the floor thirsting and dry humping. Now N'Jobu's girl was putting her hands on her knees and bouncing on her man's dick a little harder. This was going a little too far now.

The music switched up and the crowd screamed their approval and more people rushed the floor. Califia pushed her way through the bodies, her eyes furtively searching for her man. This shit was not playing out how she imagined it would. Some other bitch was getting a taste of that Daddy Dick. She felt the opening of her pussy clench involuntarily thinking about his thickness. Califia knew what that bulge felt like the first time she encountered it on her ass. She sure as hell was not about to share it.

She couldn't find him.

In a drunken panic, she actually thought he left with the woman.

She ran out to the parking lot, her heels making her run clunky. She called out his name. He was nowhere to be found.

"Cali, you alright?"

Axiel held her arm.

"I can't find N'Jobu."

She hoped her voice didn't sound distressed.

"He's around here somewhere, I saw him a minute ago."

"He's not good with the language, so I just want to make sure he's okay," she said trying to sound cheerful.

"I'll look in the men's room."

"Thanks," she said walking around the back, eyes glancing around the outdoor lounge area.

She saw a few couples making out against the posts that held up the roof of the establishment. As she moved further away from the inner part of the club, the only light she had to see were the stars and a few outdoor heating lamps that glowed. The music was thumping hard, the vibrations rumbling all the way to where she was standing.

"Come here!"

She felt rough hands lift her up and carry her toward a large storage shed and slam her against the side. A brazen mouth was on her neck, sucking the skin like he wanted to cannibalize her flesh. His breath was hot, his saliva hotter as he reached under her dress and yanked her panties to the side…

He knew exactly what she was trying to do.

From the way her ass twisted when she walked into the club, to the way she clung to dance partners while staring at him, N'Jobu knew Califia was trying to get a reaction out of him. But instead of playing into her little game, he purposely mirrored her behavior, giving her a taste of what she was doing.

She was not liking it at all, and it made him laugh internally. He played it low key, not really asserting flirtatious behavior. All he had to do was play the quiet American in a foreign country and the women flocked to him. Especially the younger ones who were not impressed with men grabbing them as they danced, or yelled at them as they walked past. He just sat in the cut and minded his business while sipping his liquor and not gulping it down. He knew how to speak basic Portuguese to get around and order food and drinks, but he pretended to be helpless trying to get a rum and coke and he was instantly rescued. His eyes kept checking for Califia, and whenever they met, he would give her a coy smile or wave and then turn his attention to whatever woman was in his personal space.

He saw her dancing with Axiel on and off, but Besouro was drinking hard and flirting with every woman in his vicinity. Divorced for nearly four months, Axiel was a like a kid in a candy store sampling every sugary sweet that walked his way. N'Jobu wasn't compelled to do anything when the man was play slapping Califia's backside in time to the hard beats rattling everyone's eardrums. If she thought she was making him jealous, she was sadly mistaken. He ignored her again when a fair-skinned man with thick muscles reached for her when a new song blasted out from the speakers. Her eyes kept watching N'Jobu instead of her dance partner, and he kept on feigning interest in the other women. Which wasn't hard. The women were incredible and openly letting him know he could get it. One woman was absolutely vulgar whispering in his ear the things she was ready to do in the club. He stood there and listened, actually intrigued until her boyfriend stepped to him and ushered her away, giving N'Jobu a stern look of disapproval.

The rum and coke loosened him up, giving him more confidence to try and use more Portuguese while speaking to the new girl hitting him up at the bar. Her body should've been arrested for causing a public disturbance. Every man in the spot was checking for her thickness. Ass for days. Tits sitting pretty. He had to tell her that he was there with his woman to make sure his buzzed state didn't have him fucking up in public. But this beauty didn't give a damn about Califia.

"She left you here at the bar alone?" was the rough translation he was able to make out when the woman eased closer to him, stroking his arm.

"I don't like this song," he said.

The woman, Maya, took his hand and switched over to English.

"I'll make you like this song," she said dragging him toward the dance floor.

Maya moved like she owned the world, and N'Jobu found himself reacting to her. She was cute and sexy and when she turned around to let him see what she was working with, he couldn't help but groan at the sight.

"You are dangerous," he said.

"I know," she said.

They danced and he had no shame staring at her. His eyes bounced around searching for Califia and he saw her watching him near the bar. He reached for Maya's hip and ran his other hand up her back and held her neck. Maya backed her ass up until it was hitting his dick, and he still felt no shame when a slight erection sprung up. He thought of what he would do to Califia when they returned to Lia's place. The children would be gone. Lia would be staying with her boyfriend. They had the flat to themselves. He was going to serve her some deep dick. Thinking about her thighs and how he was going to make her scream had his cock thickening against Maya's plush cheeks. He wound his hips knowing Califia was seeing everything.

The music shifted and he pulled Maya away from his stiffness. She wanted more, and her hand stroked his bulge.

"That's not for you," he said smiling and removing her hand, "Thanks for the dance."

He searched the room for Califia, but the packed floor had him moving around. He caught sight of her and she was turning down dances from various men. She was looking for him and moving in the opposite direction. He followed from a distance, enjoying the view of her from the back. Her dress had her cheeks bouncing while she walked. All that weight sitting nice and fat. Damn, the older she got, the better looking she got, and her backside had him weak still. He was ready to get all up in that ass. It was time to go. He needed to bust several nuts inside of her and on her. He was going to be loud and aggressive as hell.

He went to use the restroom first.

"Wait—!"

He thrust his fingers down her throat to shut her up, his eyes molten orbs ready to melt all of her.

"You think I don't know what you were trying to do?"

Over his shoulder, she saw people watching them. His other fingers still held her panties to the side. She wiggled a bit, wanting him to touch her core, but he kept his fingers in place.

Axiel walked towards them and stopped short when he saw N'Jobu hemming her up against the shed. She was gasping, her eyes staring at Axiel. The man pulled out a cigarette and lit it. He watched them, not bothering to leave.

"You love being a brat, don't you?" His American accent was gone. This was pure Jobu magic.

"You think I care if you purposely let them touch you because you want to get a rise from me?" He whispered in her ear.

"I know you were getting hot watching me, eh? You saw that fat ass on my dick—"

She whimpered when he said that, her lip trembling from the thought of his erection being rubbed on by that other woman.

"If I touch you right now, would your pussy be dripping, girl? Hmmm?"

Pleasetouchmepleasetouchmepleasetouchme…

"Is your pussy wet, baby?"

He still would not touch her. She could feel the air on her vulva and that in itself was making her labia twitch with longing. Her private parts felt engorged to the point of discomfort. She needed release. Her clit was in critical condition and only his fingers or dick could save it.

"Get your ass back inside the club," he hissed at her.

Her eyes looked at him confused.

"I'm going to teach you a lesson about trying to tease me," he said.

She reached down to pull her panties back in place.

"Nah. Leave that shit twisted to the side. I need easy access. You better not touch yourself either."

She fixed her dress, but the taut angle of her panties rubbed one side of her vulva, making her legs tremble.

"Get to stepping, girl. I'm not playing with you."

He smacked her ass and she walked in front of him. Axiel still watched them as they moved past him.

"Everything good?" he asked.

"Peachy," N'Jobu said brushing past him. He slapped Califia's right ass cheek hard and Axiel heard and saw it happen. She felt her bottom lip drop open.

"Keep moving," N'Jobu demanded.

They entered the dance space and found the others sitting around a low table on mix-matched couches.

N'Jobu sat down on an empty spot and Califia sat next to him. Axiel sat across from them in a wooden chair that had seen better days. The music was rough, rugged and raw, and their little party flocked to the floor except for Califia, N'Jobu, and Axiel. Martine and Joao stayed perched behind them on another couch that was back to back with their own.

"Music is fantastic," Axiel said.

N'Jobu's hand slipped down onto her knee then drifted to her thigh. She could still see Axiel watching them. His eyes caught N'Jobu's movement and he turned his head to pretend like he didn't see her man's hand easing under her dress. Her breath hitched when she felt N'Jobu's fingers stroke the sensitive nub of her wet clit.

"Ready for me already?" he asked loud enough for the men to hear. If she weren't already sweating enough, she could swear her moist face would catch on fire.

"Goddamn, this pussy is so wet. You trying to tell me something?"

Now she was really feeling turned on and embarrassed. He was going to talk shit with them all right there. Play in her pussy while the men she was trying to make N'Jobu jealous with sat there and listened to her body give in to this wily Prince.

One of the men she had danced with earlier strolled past with a drink in his hand. He glanced over at her and N'Jobu. When his eyes drifted to her lap, even he could see what was happening under her dress and he moved right along. She turned to look at N'Jobu and his eyes were on hers. Playful and sinful was the way he gawked at her. His lips curled into a smirk as he pulled on her clit ring.

"Oh, Gawd…" she tried to whisper but the slight tugging was unbearable. Her lips twisted up trying to stay quiet.

"When I get you back to Lia's….." N'Jobu teased. He bit his bottom lip and pulled her in closer so that her legs shifted toward him giving him better access to the apex of her thighs while her dress still covered his hand. He let his index finger tease her folds, parting them slightly so he could dip the tip inside of her. "Jobu….shit…don't…."

"Don't what?"

Her eyes fell on Axiel who was shifting his legs in his seat.

Her head dropped onto N'Jobu's arm and he flicked the tip of his finger on her clit again and she hissed, biting his shoulder, her heated pants barely constrained to his ear. When he looked at her eyes, she shut hers tight. The smug look on his face irritated her because she was at his mercy. As self-conscious as she was knowing the men sitting near them were well aware of what was happening to her, she didn't want him to stop. The discomfiture only aided in the gratification she was experiencing while being put on display. The other men wanted to be the ones with their hands and fingers under her dress, manipulating her folds, inserting their eager digits into her center. But this was N'Jobu's pussy. And he was reminding her of that. Her hand dug into his arm now. He tugged on her clit ring and then pinched her labia together in rhythmic tweaks with his slippery thumb and ring finger.

"Tell me why your pussy is so wet."

She wanted him to stop talking so loud. Axiel could hear everything, and so could Martine and Joao.

He pulled her head back forcing her to look at him.

"Don't hide now. Tell me. Huh? Why are you dripping all over my hand?"

He pinched her clit again harder and she winced from pleasure. Axiel was really twisting in his seat now. She heard Martine and Joao talking about her in Portuguese. They were enjoying what N'Jobu was doing to her in public, telling her to cum on his hand so they could hear what she sounded like. She tried squeezing her thighs together to control N'Jobu's hand but he stuck a finger inside of her and the pressure he exerted there made her stomach quake.

"Keep your legs still."

His eyes grew darker and his voice hit that bottom tone that let her know he was to be obeyed. His finger made small teasing circles inside of her and then she felt his thumb press against the skin between her pussy and her anus. He pinched her again and the sensation of his index finger pressing down on his thumb in that small space between her legs made her squeeze her eyes shut once more and buck her hips. She wanted to cum so bad. What was worse, she wanted to cum in front of the other men. She wanted the humiliation.

His lips suckled hers and she was grateful to have his mouth on her. His tongue licked the seam of her lips and she widened her mouth to grasp his, but even his lips and teeth teased her with incomplete kisses. She moved her hand up to grasp his face and hold him still. But he flicked his tongue around her lips some more before biting her bottom lip and releasing her. She couldn't control the groan of frustration that slipped out of her.

"You mad?" he said. He laughed at her and flicked her clit again. Her throat let out an exasperated chuffing sound.

"You're not getting what you want? Daddy playing too much?"

The smirk on his face pissed her off. He was aware of how she felt. He didn't care.

"You like thinking about me fucking other women, don't you?"

He slipped two fingers inside of her, going deep and tapping on her spot.

"You can't lie and say you don't, I can see how your body is reacting with me just talking about it. Thinking of my dick inside of Maya…that last girl I was dancing with… she got you panting and wetting your panties…oh shit, your pussy is pulling on my fingers…you want to see Maya bouncing on Daddy's dick? Is that what you want to see? How Daddy would make her pussy feel good?"

"Fuck…," Califia grunted. She reached out and grasped N'Jobu's neck. The image he painted was what she was fantasizing about when she watched them dance together.

N'Jobu laughed at her again and pulled his fingers from her center. He pulled her panties back into place.

"Go dance with your friends. I want to watch you," he said pushing away from her. Her body wanted to melt into the couch. He had her on the edge of no return. Just rubbing her thighs together caused electrical sparks to shoot through her skin from her neck to her toes. She felt ripe and gushy and so ready to break apart from his touch. Her nipples were poking through her bra and even the slightest rubbing against the silk material shot tendrils of heat to her middle. She didn't think she could stand up without stumbling on jittery legs.

N'Jobu shoved the side of her thigh, forcing her to move. She couldn't even look at the other guys because she knew their eyes were on her. They knew that she was wet and her carnal scent was on N'Jobu's fingers.

She could see Soliel, Aunjanue, and Lia dancing together, so Califia focused on walking stiffly toward them. They grabbed her arms when she appeared before them and for the first time in a long time, she felt shy about dancing in front of him. He knew her body inside and out, knew what it could do while fighting or fucking. But at that moment, dancing for him in public seemed so much more intimate. She felt naked in front of everyone. When she glanced over at him, he was still sitting on the couch, his legs relaxed, and thighs wide open. His face looked languid but also expectant. She wanted to go back to him and sit on his lap, drape her legs over those thighs. She exhaled through her mouth and saw Martine smile at her while Joao sipped from a shot glass. Axiel sat back in his seat watching the room, but his eyes gave furtive glances her way.

N'Jobu let the fingers of his right hand roll a bit, signaling for her to move.

She turned away from him and hid behind Soliel and Lia. Aunjanue sparked a joint on the floor and discreetly blew a long puff of smoke into Califia's mouth.

"Girl, you need to loosen up. You look so uptight," she said.

Califia grabbed the joint and took a few more drags before she was able to calm her nerves and the jumpiness in her skin. Her fingers stroked the soft material of her dress and the world began to slow down along with the music. The women's laughter carried her into a place of peace and deep sisterhood. These were her girls. The women who carried her through dark times. Women who loved her and loved her son fiercely. Her hands entwined with Soliel and Lia's and they spun together and bumped asses, shared more weed, and partied together like the night would never end. The sensual feel of sweat on her skin and the soft bodies of her friends pressing into her made her tune into the lovely sensations of her own physical joy. Limbs moving so smooth, her head shaking to and fro, loose hair bouncing around her face…she felt so free.

Floating sensations had her moving her hips and rolling her neck. Soliel had her backside up against hers and they moved in tandem, lowering themselves down and moving back up. They turned and hugged each other, pulling Lia into the group hug as Aunjanue took pictures of them with her cell. Soliel went off with her dancing and Califia called out to her as Lia jumped in and tried to show them both up. Negra Lia, a living Goddess, a woman who made a way out of no way to lead other women to freedom and self-empowerment. A woman who would possibly be a world leader.

Erik was a great admirer of Soliel and Negra Lia. When they would sit in Lia's kitchen and talk of the future, Erik would sit at their feet and listen, his eyes scanning the room to take in their conversations on men, politics, and how they wanted the world to be for their children. He would ask questions and she never asked the women to filter their words or actions. He heard cussing. Sometimes he watched them roll weed and smoke it while contemplating music when Marisol wasn't around. She let him sip a capful of wine if they made dinner calimochos and complained about the nighttime telenovelas they watched. She thought he would want to spend time with his father out and about if the women were watching the Brazilian soap operas, but instead, N'Jobu would sleep or read in the guest room while Erik sat up under the women watching the corny shows. Erik said it helped him with his Portuguese, but she suspected he was into the trashy stories too.

There were times she would insist that he allow the grown women to be alone without his presence, and he would get such a look of hurt on his face. N'Jobu had to take him aside to explain what a hen party was just so he wouldn't take it personal. During those private times, N'Jobu would take Erik for a walk through the favela.

Thus far this trip was by far Califia's favorite with her family. Erik was old enough to gain so many fond memories. He made numerous friends through Marisol, and everyone was looking forward to seeing if he would become a mestre like her one day.

Califia's mind spun with thoughts and warm feelings. She rocked her hips in place and turned to look at N'Jobu and her heart went to her throat. He was walking toward her, the music feeling like their own theme song as he took long strides to reach her. She closed her eyes and lifted her arms feeling his hands pull her waist toward him. When she looked up into his eyes, she saw nothing but love there. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and rocked in time to the music with him.

"Let's go," he said grabbing her hand and pulling her away from the floor. Soliel, Aunjanue and Negra Lia only smiled and blew her kisses.

N'Jobu didn't rush them out of the space. She was able to see some of the women who he danced with watch him as he ignored their faces and led her toward the row of cabs waiting on the street.

N'Jobu chose one that was idling and ready to go. They climbed into the back seat and he gave directions to Lia's place to a fairly young dude with a wide smile. The cab barely left the curb before he was pulling her on his lap facing him.

Her glassy eyes let him know she was going to pop if he kept touching her.

He had no idea where the extreme control over his own faculties came from, but he focused all of his attention on stimulating her to the point of exhaustion on the couch. When she became frustrated, he knew he had her, and by then, he just wanted to watch her dance. He needed the respite to get himself together. He didn't want her to dominate him. He wanted to push her to her limit. Get her pussy so engorged and fat and ready for his cock. They had the opportunity to explore each other without disturbance and he needed to take advantage while he could. Time alone was so rare.

He watched her smoke weed and play around with the women, but something transpired that shifted her on the floor. She began to move the way he liked and he fought to not rub himself in public. He took so much pleasure from watching her move. An ecstasy would come over her face not much different from when she came sometimes. It was beautiful to witness. Forcing her to dance for him also made her self-aware of the men who watched her too after he played in her pussy and spoke loud enough for them to hear what he was saying.

Watching her dance, he imagined what she would look like back home in his suite inside the palace. He could picture her naked on his balcony overlooking the royal garden, swaying her hips, her breasts illuminated by Wakandan moonlight and stars. He would make her crawl to him onto the royal bed they would share where she would ride him and he would hold her so tight. All of Birnin Zana would hear their cries of release.

When her hands began patting her thighs, he was ready to leave and went after her. He danced with her for a bit, but her heated softness pushed him to vacate the premises. He was ready to spread her wide and dig into her deep. He was ready to show her how much she meant to him and pleasure her for hours on end.

Inside the cab he pulled her onto him, his control slipping a bit when he ripped her panties off and began spanking her. Her heels were pressed against his hips while her thighs were bent against his sides. Her wet vulva was planted on his bulge and her head rested against his neck. She had trembling arms hanging around his neck.

He pulled her dress up to bunch around her hips as he laid into her cheeks. The cab driver glanced at him from time to time in the rearview mirror. N'Jobu told him in basic Portuguese to mind his business and he would get extra money for ignoring them.

"…tell me if it gets too much…" he gasped to her, unable to stop his hand from smacking her ass as he spoke of their safe word. Each time his hand connected to the fleshy globes, he couldn't help but release a grunt as her pussy bounced on his dick in response and she whispered in his ear, "Spank me hard."

His battle for control was on struggle mode. He could feel the head of his dick becoming slick, and he wanted to unfasten his pants, but he didn't want to fuck her in the car, and he knew he would if he allowed her folds to touch the sticky heat of his erection. He used one hand to hold her waist and the other to beat the shit out of her cheeks.

"Dammit!" he yelled when she shifted on his dick and he felt the friction rub him. He was so rigid and his balls felt like heavy stones weighing down his pants.

The cab encountered traffic and they were stuck at an intersection, so the cabbie could hear everything, and N'Jobu didn't give one fuck.

He slipped his fingers down past her ass and let it hit the back of her vulva and she jumped in his lap. Her pussy lips were so swollen, even more so since he began spanking her senseless. Concern crept up on him. How long would this traffic be? He needed her on a bed fast and this cab was barely crawling. The way she was trembling on him after each slap, he knew she was moving closer to orgasm, and he wasn't ready to let her do that until he was rooted deep in her. And he couldn't stop spanking her because they were both in the headspace they craved.

His body was so hot and he was sweating with her pressed so close into him. He knew they should stop before he made her cum. He rubbed her backside tenderly and tried slowing his breathing down.

"…don't…don't stop…" she huffed into his neck.

"Shit!"

He unleashed more strikes on her ass and then took both of his hands to squeeze, lift, and separate her cheeks.

"You okay? Can you handle more?" he asked, his voice shaky like his legs.

"I want more…"

"You want more?"

"Yes, please…I…I want more…you're making my pussy feel so good…"

"…that fat pussy feeling good…you better not cum yet…you're being such a good girl for Daddy…you cum when I tell you…"

"DaddyDaddyDaddy…."

She chanted in his ear as he slapped her vulva from the back. When he put that deep Oakland cadence in his voice, she tried grabbing for the opening of his pants but he pulled her hand away. Even though he was a Prince and she loved his natural Wakandan accent, she would go buck-wild when that Oaktown vibe spewed out of him when they became sexual.

"Please, fuck me Daddy!"

Her mouth was hot on his neck and her tongue flicked the skin there. He heard the cab driver make a sound after Califia begged N'Jobu to take her right there. It sounded like a groan.

"I want you in the bed—"

"I can't wait that long—"

"Yes, you can—"

"No, I can't! I want your dick now!"

The brat was coming back and he heard the pout in her voice. He took this as a sign of disrespect and smacked her for a full round until she was grinding in his lap. He lifted and separated her ass cheeks once more and she hissed from his touch on her sensitized skin. When his pinky finger grazed the back of her vulva again her behind clenched up tight.

The cab driver glanced back at them and his eyes grew big when he saw N'Jobu's hands spreading Califia's cheeks, her wet pussy just wide open and glistening. The man turned his head quickly.

Slow down.

N'Jobu turned his head so they could kiss, big, wide, open-mouthed kisses that had their fleshy lips feasting on one another. He just held her ass in his hands and she stopped grinding into him. They had to hold on until they made it to their destination.

When he came up for air from her lips he was transfixed by her face. True ecstasy was etched there. Great Bast, he couldn't wait to penetrate her, ram his cock into her until they were fused together. Get deep until he was breathing for both of them.

He kissed her again and her lips were puffy and sensitive from his attention. He could feel the itchy sensation in his own lips when they kissed for a long time. He rubbed her back to bring her down from his harsh spanking. She shuddered when he patted and smoothed his hands over each ass cheek. She arched her back to stretch a bit and he allowed her to wiggle her legs for circulation, but he wasn't going to let her change her position. Instead, he just held her still and thrust his hips up to let her slit rub him a bit. Just enough friction to keep him hard but not spurting in his pants. He kept Califia's head held into his neck again, and her breathing was just soft pants that was music to his ears.

"I'm going to make a big ole mess in this pussy. You know that, right?"

"Yes," she whispered in his ear. It was a struggle whisper, any energy she expended now was dangerous, her clit was a detonator ready to explode the rest of her.

"We have to use a lot of lube. I'm going to be in your pussy for a long ass time, girl."

Her breath shuddered.

He kissed her shoulder.

"We better do it on the floor. I'll break that fucking bed…"

He heard the strain in her voice as she tried to say his name.

"I know you want me now. But we're almost there. You want the cab driver to see me punish your tight pussy?" He pulled her cheeks apart again. He could see the cabbie was driving carefully with one hand on the wheel. The other hand wasn't visible but there was movement in his lap.

N'Jobu continued to rub Califia's lower back. The cab turned onto Lia's street and when it stopped, it took a long time for Califia to crawl off of his lap.

"Fuck me right here," she said, not caring about the cab driver sitting there waiting for his money.

Her ass was still visible and N'Jobu could see that the cabbie wasn't shy about tugging on his dick watching them while they spoke.

"You got my man up there feeling on himself," N'Jobu said.

"He'll never see us again. Let's give him a thrill. It'll be his tip," she said kissing the side of his neck and running her tongue in his ear. She sat back on him and began grinding on him. The movement of her ass on his lap made the cabbie tug harder on his cock.

Califia spoke to the cabbie in Portuguese. He was listening to her words but his eyes were on N'Jobu.

"What did you tell him?"

"That he could play with his dick and cum while you played with me."

She looked back over her shoulder and stared at the cabbie. The man spoke to her and then Califia giggled.

"What?"

"He wants your permission. He doesn't want you to beat him up for cumming if he watches. He said he liked it when you were spanking me."

"I don't know, girl…"

"You let Axiel, Joao, and Martine watch while you fingered me in the club, along with whoever else may have walked by—"

"But you were covered up—"

"They knew what was happening—"

"Look, I just want to get you inside and get in this pussy," he said rubbing her backside. His fingers dropped down to her vulva. The street was not well-lit, so the cabbie could probably only make out a little detail. She sucked on her teeth when he touched her labia.

"Daddy," she uttered, and the sound of those two syllables made him thrust his hips up. She made it sound so vulgar. This was his woman on his lap. But she was turned on by the thought of another man watching him play with her.

"Is this what you really want?"

"Yeah. I want him to see what's yours."

"Just spanking."

"Just that."

N'Jobu looked at the cabbie.

"Tell him he can jerk off and watch then."

Califia's hand reached up and turned on one of the overhead car lights.

"Damn, girl. We don't want the whole neighborhood watching," N'Jobu said reaching up himself and flicking it off.

"But I want to see his dick—"

"You need to concentrate on my dick," he said in a rough tone.

Califia's voice became sultry, and somehow the Portuguese she spoke sounded really nasty rolling off her tongue. N'Jobu saw the cabbie unzip and reach into his pants. His strokes were long and steady and they both could see the man had an average-sized uncut dick with a thick mushroom cap from the lights of his dashboard.

N'Jobu reached up and turned her face to look back at him.

"Hey. Focus on me," he said in a gruff tone.

"You don't like me looking at his dick? Think I might like his more?"

SMACK!

Her head snapped forward when he struck her and her gasp melted into a whimper. He used both hands to alternate striking her plump ass. They could hear the cabbie's grunts and groans.

"What did he say?" N'Jobu asked when the cabbie spoke under his breath.

Califia was staring down at N'Jobu, her eyes taking on a glazed look. He could feel her thrusting her ass out, trying to poke it out so the cabbie could see it all.

"Harder…he said to go harder…oh Jobu, I can hear him playing with his dick!"

He slapped the underside of her ass to create new stinging sensations for her. She was getting off knowing another man was flogging his meat because of her. He himself was getting off watching her gain pleasure from it.

His hands gripped the thickness on the sides of her ass and jiggled it and they both heard the loud moan from the cabbie. N'Jobu looked over and saw the pained look on the man's face as he nutted into his own hand, his eyes glued to Califia's thick cheeks.

"Let's go," N'Jobu said pulling down her dress to cover her ass.

Califia crawled off of him searching for her torn panties.

N'Jobu reached for his wallet ignoring the humongous tent in his own pants. He drew out a wad of cash and tossed it on the passenger seat next to the cabbie.

Stepping from the cab, N'Jobu reached back and helped Califia out. Her legs were like jelly as she took a moment to get the blood circulating properly. She pulled down on her dress and entwined her fingers with his. Neither of them bothered to look back at the cabbie. They were eager to climb the stairs and get into Lia's place.

N'Jobu made Califia walk up the stairs ahead of him, forcing her to hitch her dress back up to reveal her backside. Her ass was reddened and her pussy was glistening. She stopped every now and then to arch her back and widen her thighs so he could see what he was about to get.

When they reached the apartment, Califia went to the restroom and N'Jobu went into the guestroom, turned on the lights and threw the mattress of the bed onto the floor. The small double bed had a weak frame, and he knew he was going to be knee deep in his woman. The cement floor would be their support.

He took off his clothes and placed them on a side chair. He rummaged through her suitcase and pulled out the bottle of lube she brought for them.

He was slicking up his cock when she walked in naked. He watched her place her clothes on top of his.

"Get on the bed," he said stroking his length up and down, letting her see how much better his dick was compared to the cabbie. He pulled on his heavy balls while she situated herself for him. There were so many positions he wanted from her and so much time to do it in.

She lazily let her legs fall open as she laid back on her elbows watching him with lust-drunk eyes. The way she was staring at him made him think that she felt like she had the power right now.

"You tried to make me jealous," he said.

She smirked, but he didn't smile back at her. When he did that, she knew she was in trouble.

"Bay-bee…," she whispered, trying to get back in his good graces. He knew she was ready to have an explosive orgasm. He had tortured her pussy all night, and she didn't want to drag it out again. Too bad. She shouldn't have been playing with him.

The arrogance jumped out of him. She needed to meet Prince N'Jobu again.

"Whose dick is going to be better than mine?"

He stepped over to get his personal satchel stuffed at the bottom of his own suitcase.

He pulled out two separate containers.

One contained a silver cock ring. He twisted it around the glans of his dick and her eyes grew big.

The second box contained the gold slugs that he only wore at home in Wakanda. He went to the mirror in the room and slipped them on his bottom teeth. When he turned around to look at her, she had her fingers playing with her pussy. Although her pubic hairs were trimmed short, he could see how damp she was from his touches and spanking, her juices making the hair there shine as if they were heavily oiled.

"I did not give you permission to play with my pussy."

The bass in his voice made her blink.

"Jobu—"

"Nah, that's not my name. You best come correct. You know who the fuck I am."

Her hands dropped to her side.

He spoke to her in Wakandan, making the hard clicks and robust tone of his voice let her think she was in big trouble. She had no idea what he was saying and that was a good thing because his words were filthy. He was having fun. Telling her how he was going to stretch out her pussy and break her fucking back because she had the best slit in the world. But the tonality sounded harsh to her ears because he made sure to keep his face hard when he spoke. Her eyes were fixated on his teeth, the gold slugs gleaming in his mouth. The better to nip and bite her with. He let his eyes narrow as his eyes raked up and down her body. His tongue rolled over his bottom teeth tasting pure gold.

"Stand up!" he barked at her.

She jumped up and her hands dangled in front of her body like she was trying to cover herself. There was confusion in her eyes.

"What's my name?"

"N-N…N'Jobu?"

"Tried to make me jealous, as if some random man compared to me in any way, and now more disrespect?"

He stepped to her like he was in the throne room back in Birnin Zana. He grit his teeth and when she saw those slugs again and saw him grip his dick the way he did, the fancy cock ring emblazoned with Wakandan symbols now dripping with his pre-cum, it clicked in her mind. Her whole demeanor switched up and her eyes widened again. She bowed to him and stepped back from him in a submissive stance.

"Your Highness, Prince N'Jobu."

His dick throbbed so hard in his hand when he heard her say the words.

"Much better," he said trying to hold on to all modicum of supremacy over her in this moment. If he slipped up, let her take on any power over him, he would weaken before her and let her have her way with him. And he didn't want that. She tried to manipulate him all day, and she had to pay for trying to cuckold him.

He laid down on the bedding and tucked his hands under his head. Staring up at her, he let his eyes drop down to stare at her folds. Her pussy was ready. He pointed to the lube next to the bed.

"Prepare yourself," he commanded.

She bent down and grabbed the bottle and squirted a significant amount of lube on to her hand. She rubbed her vulva, squirted more lube on her fingers and inserted them into her pussy. He tried his best to keep his face neutral as she opened up her labia for him, trying to diminish his authority. Her two fingers slipped in and out of her vagina and he could hear that creamy sound so loud in the room. He gave a small gulp and prayed that Bast would give him strength not to cave into Califia's seductive ways. He made a loud exhale when her fingers pulled out and rubbed her clit ring. She almost had him. But he smiled at her and held his massive erection up.

"Come service your Prince." The demand was clear in his voice.

"Bay-bee," she whimpered staring at the cock ring circling his wide glans.

"What did you say?'

She swallowed hard and took a small step toward him.

"Your Highness—"

"Come here. Now."

She knelt down on the mattress and crawled over him. When her breasts were hanging over his chest he reached up and pulled her down close to him, holding her face into his neck, basically the same position she was in when they were in the cab.

"Put this royal dick in that juicy pussy you disrespectful—"

He smacked her ass so hard that she didn't even hear the last part of his sentence. She lifted his heavy cock and sat back on it, sliding so hungrily with ease until his balls were covered in her juices to the hilt. He groaned hard, his grimace making his slugs visible and she moaned when she saw them. He bit her shoulder hard.

"I'll fuck you so good, Your Highness," she said lifting her lower half and dropping back down on him.

"You better, you already know pussy is lined up and waiting for me out there."

He watched her eyes go from lust-filled to jealousy.

"They knew a Prince when they saw one and were ready to give me good Brazilian pussy. Right there on the dance floor if I wanted it…."

She was bouncing on him already, twisting her hip each time her clit hit his cock ring. She stared down at the slugs in his open mouth and rode him harder. His breath hitched, but he tried to stay strong talking mad shit to her.

"Maya wanted this dick so bad. You saw her throwing it back at me. She probably knows how to handle royal dick. Whatchu think? Could she take all this dick better than you?"

She pressed down into him, her lips sucking on his neck, her tits smashed into his chest as she moved her hips and ass up and down. He just laid there, not moving anything except his hands holding her hips, his eyes watching her big ass jiggle.

"She had a nice fat ass too, shit was soft and round, I bet she could take a good pounding—"

She groaned so loud it made his balls tingle.

"You want me to show you how I would fuck her big ass?"

His erection felt harder in her pussy. She was really slamming down on him.

"She felt on my dick after we finished dancing. I told her this big dick didn't belong to her. It's all yours Califia."

"Ohhhhh, bay-bee!"

"This royal dick is all yours…oh…shitttttt…."

She was squeezing his erection, her walls gripping and releasing in time to her thrusts down on him. His toes curled up.

"Oh my Bast, you're riding the shit out of this royal dick!" he yelled. He held onto her back tight and just let her work his meat down to the bone.

He could feel the pressure on his glans from the cock ring. They had already been going at it for twenty minutes, it was time for the ring to come off.

"Lift up, lift up!"

She raised up off of his cock with a loud wet noise and sat on her side. He reached down and removed the cock ring. He looked down at her.

"Let me show you how I would fuck Maya."

He forced her to get on her hands and knees and when he penetrated her, she started wailing from his deep thrusts.

"See…a big ass like hers…she has to have a big dick hitting those walls like this. While you were busy letting these fat cheeks slap against common dick, Maya was getting this…your royal dick. Is that what you wanted?"

"No!" she screamed. He chuckled. She was getting mad now. She was still dripping from him talking about Maya, but she hated the idea that she let another woman get a feel of what belonged to her. Regret was a helluva emotion.

"I think she'd like this…mmmhmmmm, my balls slapping against her pussy just like this, huh, baby? Does it feel good?"

"Gawd, yes!" she screamed. She held her arm out behind her, and N'Jobu grabbed her hand to help get the angle right. His dick was gleaming from her juices and the lube they slathered on themselves. He was ready to bust just watching her cheeks slap his balls.

"Would you let me cum in her pussy, Califia?"

Califia's back and ass cheeks glistened with so much sweat. Her head drooped down once his balls really started slapping against her clit. She was done for. All he had to do was tell her she could cum and she would do it.

"Goddamn, thinking about that woman's fat ass is gonna make me nut. I'ma let this royal dick cum in your wet slit. Maya wanted this dick so bad—"

Califia snatched her arm back from him.

"Martine and Joao wanted this pussy," she said.

"What?"

He gripped her hips hard and slowed down his thrusting.

"Axiel too. And the cab driver. They know royal pussy when they see it."

What. The. Fuck.

N'Jobu pulled out of her and turned her on her back. Her eyes were hard and her lip was curled up like she was mad.

"You heard me, Your Highness."

His dick was still jumping from being inside her tight heat and he could see all her good pink waiting for him to spill inside of her. He slid his fingers around the tip of his dick and squeezed so she could see his slit.

"No one's getting in this pussy except for me. Watch your mouth."

"You watch yours. If I'm your wife then that makes me a Princess, don't it?"

He laughed at her and her eyes looked betrayed.

He pulled her leg, dragging her down to him and pushed her legs back open.

"You just keep these legs open and let me nut in my pussy," he said bending his head down to suck and then bite her right nipple.

She slapped his face.

N'Jobu jerked up releasing her nipple. The sting from her hand still rocked his face.

"What's your fucking problem?"

"You."

He reached for her legs again and tried prying them back, but she pushed back from him and stood up.

"You ain't getting shit from me," she said walking to the bedroom door.

"Where the fuck you going?!"

He jumped up from the bed and followed her. When she tried opening the door he slammed it shut and pushed her up against it.

"I want to hear you say it. Tell me I'm a Princess—"

"Get your ass back on that bed and take this dick—"

"Not until you say—"

He grabbed her left leg and lifted it up while gripping his cock in his hand. "You play too much, Califia," he said.

He thrust up into her and knocked the breath out of her.

"Play too fucking much," he said.

Grabbing her hair, he pumped into her, the sound of her back hitting the door just as loud as his grunts. He stared into her eyes.

"I am Prince N'Jobu. House of Udaku. Son of King Azzuri the Wise. Son of the Compassionate Queen, Niyilolawa. I am the Golden Jaguar chosen by the Great Panther Goddess Bast from on high. Father of N'Jadaka, The One Who Brings Down Thunder. Know who the fuck is banging the shit out of you right now!"

Califia lifted her other leg and wrapped it around his hips as N'Jobu worked his back and leg muscles to pound her against the door.

"Acting like some impetuous little brat. Making me jealous over who? Bitch, I'm the only real nigga who can handle this pussy."

He hit a spot inside of her that made him hunch up against her.

"Take all this dick!"

She was just heavy breathing clutching onto his back. He still couldn't believe she had slapped him. He couldn't believe that shit had him turned on too. He smothered her lips with his own, sucking on her tongue until she released his mouth screaming, "Please!"

He leaned back still clutching her waist.

"Cum on this royal dick then," he said, his eyes holding her lusty gaze while he pushed in as far as his cock could go.

"Oooooohhhhh."

Her eyes rolled back then squeezed shut as her mouth took in short puffs of air as her body unraveled around him. He felt the intense pulses of her walls around him as her orgasm flowed ensnaring him. Her face. That damn face caught him again and he felt himself spurting deep within her and yelling her name so loud he was sure Lia's neighbors heard them. When he felt her spasms stop, he pulled out of her.

"Hurry up and go pee," he said catching his breath.

When she stumbled out of the bedroom he went into the kitchen and poured them two big glasses of ice water. He watched her come out of the bathroom stretching her body and he felt his face go flush looking at her. He handed her a glass and they both gulped down the fluid. They were dehydrated and still horny for each other. She crawled onto his lap as he sat at the kitchen table and they kissed for a while. She liked rolling her tongue across his slugs and he brought his mouth to her breasts, biting her and rolling her nipples with his fingers. She was sitting on his dick in no time and he fucked her the way she needed to be fucked.

"I'm the throne you sit on, girl," he whispered in her ear.

He watched her tits bounce then stared at his dick taking care of her needs.

"Your pussy feels so good," he said.

"Yeah," she answered. She was gripping his shoulders and watching his face as he watched her pussy stretch around his dick with each thrust he gave her.

"Where do you want me to cum, baby?"

"On my face."

"Get ready," he said.

She lifted off of him when he began to grimace and called out her name.

She dropped to her knees and looked up at his face. He stroked himself taking in all of her beauty.

"Play with your pussy for me," he said adjusting the angle of his dick, pressing it closer to her face.

Her fingers dropped down rubbing her folds.

"Cum on my face, Your Highness…Prince N'Jobu," she purred.

A fantasy made real.

Hot ropes of his creamy white shot out and coated her face. It was a big ole mess and he loved it.

"Only for a Princess," he said and she smiled.

He reached down and played with her tits, pussy lips and clit until she came on his hand with him calling her Princess for the rest of their alone time.

Chapter 17 HERE.

[bthenoise]

Celebrate 10 Years of ‘Constellations’ With August Burns Red’s 10 Favorite Moments From The Writing, Recording & Touring Process

When it comes to most album anniversary tours, some fans tend to think those 10, 15 or even 20-year treks are just for the longtime listeners and nostalgia chasers. Instead, many seem to forget about the bands actually playing those beloved records on a nightly basis. 

Take metalcore juggernauts August Burns Red, for example. Gearing up for their 10-year anniversary tour for 2009′s groundbreaking LP Constellations, the seasoned outfit has thoroughly enjoyed tour prep as they’ve run through songs like “The Escape Artist” and reminisced about some of their fondest decade-old memories.    

Be it playing tour games on the road, surviving terrifying snowstorms or the impact of playing “Indonesia” live for the first time in the Southeast Asian country, looking back on 10 years since Constellations was released, JB Brubaker, Brent Rambler, Matt Greiner, Dustin Davidson and Jake Luhrs have all accrued memories that will last a lifetime. 

Speaking with The Noise about some of those life-changing Constellations moments, Brubaker, Rambler, Greiner and Davidson compiled 10 of their all-time favorite memories from the writing, recording and touring process dating all the way back to 2007. To check out the list to get you even more pumped for August Burns Red’s upcoming tour, be sure to see below. Afterward, to grab tickets, head here.      

Lastly, if you’d like a chance to win free tickets – yes, FREE! – head here.

Brent Rambler

The Constellations recording process and touring cycle houses many fond memories for all of us. Here are three of my personal favorites that stick out. Let’s get cracking in chronological order!

“White Washed”

The lyrics for “White Washed” were some of the first more aggressive and “angry” lyrics that I had ever tried to write at the time. However, the words flowed like water because they were very in the moment. I started working on them immediately after a youth pastor surrounded me with a group of teenagers directly outside of our tour van. He proceeded to condemn [me] and the other members of the band simply for having a case of beer on our [tour] rider. He wanted to try and make an example of me in front of all the kids he brought with him. The whole thing was super inappropriate and out of line, BUT the lyrics for one of our most popular songs came out of it so it was worth it!

First Home

The recording process for Constellations was extra exciting for me because literally a week before we left I had an offer accepted for my first house. I remember being very proud because it was a big moment in proving to everyone that I could earn a living off of making music. For weeks while we recorded, I was heading to notaries and post offices to work on the closing process of the home, and since we were in Florida while making the album, I had to sign over power of attorney and do the sale over the phone. We returned home super late from Florida, but instead of crashing at my parents where all of my things were, I grabbed the keys and just sat in my new house.

Chicago House Of Blues

Constellations came out while we were on tour in the summer of 2009. The tour had some cool highlights, but I think the biggest one was selling out the Chicago House of Blues for the first time. At that moment it was our biggest headline show ever and packing such a notable venue felt amazing. Afterwards, we had a big celebration with the other bands backstage and it capped off a great night!

JB Brubaker

“Put Him Up!”

In December of 2009, we were on the road with Underoath and Emery. We became really good friends with the guys in Emery and would hang out with them every night after the shows. They had purchased their own passenger bus and gutted it and turned it into a tour bus. It was DIY but so cool. We’d hang out, drink beers, have dance parties and tell stories. Emery taught us one “game” that we still play on our tour bus today. Occasionally, when someone new would walk on the bus, Toby (Emery’s bassist/vocalist) would slowly start chanting “Put him up! Put him up!” The chant would catch on with other people on the bus until everyone was shouting it, at which point the newcomer would be picked up and crowd surfed to the ceiling of the bus. It was basically a “welcome to the party” greeting and always got a good laugh. We are happy to continue to carry the tradition on a decade later.

Touring Australia 

It was August of 2009. Constellations had recently come out and we were invited by Parkway Drive to support them on a tour across Australia. It was our first time in Australia and an honor to be supporting them. They were the hottest metal band on the continent and drawing huge crowds. After the monster travel day to Australia, we arrived to find a bunch of luggage didn’t make it. Qantas Airlines outfitted us with small care packages to keep us afloat until our baggage was recovered. Inside were heather gray sweat shorts and matching t-shirts. The first show was in Brisbane at an outdoor hillside [venue] called Riverstage. They were expecting 7,000 people which was more people than we had ever played for at that time. When we were setting up our equipment on stage before the show, I failed to take into account the voltage difference between Australia and the US. I plugged in my pedal board and heard a pop followed by the smell of burning electronics. I had fried my pedal board’s power supply, rendering my pedals useless. I had to borrow a pedal board from Architects, who were also playing on the tour. (I think we need to do this same tour lineup again!). When we took the stage that night I was a ball of nerves. I unfortunately played sloppy for the large Australian crowd, but I don’t know if anyone actually noticed or cared. We debuted our song “Meddler” for the first time that night. (I played that song particularly poorly.) The tour was overall a great experience. I have very fond memories of hanging out with the guys in Architects and playing massive shows in every city.

Touring South America

In August of 2010, we were doing a tour of South America. It was our first time traveling there. Our buddies in Blessthefall were coming with us and it was going to be awesome. The first show was in Sao Paulo, Brazil and over 1,000 people showed up. We were treated like celebrities and it was a completely surreal start to the tour. The final show of the tour was scheduled for August 28th in Caracas, Venezuela. About a week before the show, we learned of political unrest in Venezuela. The president there was known for being a hot head and pulling stunts like closing down the airports. It was determined to be unsafe for us to travel to Caracas because of the possibility of getting stuck there should the president lock down flights out of the country.  Instead, we booked a last minute show in Quito, Ecuador. With a week to get the word out, we weren’t expecting much. The show was held in a small youth center. There couldn’t have been more than 150 people there but it was such a special show for us. The appreciation and enthusiasm the crowd showed us was unmatched. We felt honored to have been received with such open arms and on such short notice. What felt like a disaster waiting to happen turned out to be one of the biggest highlights of our South American tour.

Dustin Davidson

The Day The Van Died

Thankfully I found a journal entry from Thursday, April 16th, 2009 so that I can write accurately with every detail about the day that our van died. We were pretty early into a tour with All That Remains and Born of Osiris when as you may have guessed -- our 16 passenger Chevrolet van (unnamed to my knowledge) took its last breath of air and sipped its last ounce of gasoline (which in those days contained 0% ethanol for you engine nerds). According to my journal, we woke up at a decent hour, grabbed continental breakfast from the hotel and headed out on the road for the next show. I was first up to drive on that day and while on the road about 60 miles away from our departure our sound engineer Jade asked me, “So how long do you think this van is going to last? Do you think it’ll make it through the rest of the tour?”

“Yeah, I think it’ll last for the rest of the tour - at least I hope so,” I replied. Just as I finished that thought our speed began to decrease rapidly while ascending a hill on the highway. I let off the gas and the engine shut off. As I was pulling over to the shoulder the temperature gauge shot up, the breaks were extremely hard to press because the brake booster went out and smoke poured out from under the hood when I was finally able to bring the vehicle to a stop. “Well, I think we need a new van,” I said.

I don’t remember how many miles that van had but it was surely over 200k so something like that was bound to happen at any time. Born of Osiris was able to pick us up so that we could make the next show which was in Syracuse, NY and after the gig our friend Ricky picked us up and drove us back to Lancaster so that we could van shop the next day and get back out on the road to meet up with the tour again.

The Storm That Left Us Stranded

In the winter of 2009, we did a short tour with Underoath and Emery. It was a very fun tour filled with hangs and packed shows. However, the drive home was something that I hope to never be a part of again. After the tour ended in New Orleans, JB and Brent flew home while the rest of us (Matt, Jake, TM Josh, merch guy Mychael and myself) opted to save some bones and drive the van/trailer home. We knew there was a huge rain storm coming but we had plenty of time to beat it home by getting on the road directly after that last show - or so we thought.

Sometime in the early hours of December 18th during our drive home, we blew a wheel bearing on the trailer and had to pull over to take a look at it. This was an ongoing problem for us back in the day. You see, this was a time before the Axe-Fx / Kemper. A dark time when we carried many guitar/bass cabinets. Our trailer was always filled to the brim. We were simply carrying too much weight and would blow out wheel bearings left and right no matter how we packed the trailer.

This blow out was one of the worst ones we ever had. Since it was still dark outside, whoever was driving the van couldn’t see the smoke so they ended up driving for a while after the bearing gave out which led to the bearing fusing to the spindle which meant that we couldn’t fix the problem ourselves. We had to wait for a small repair shop to open up so that we could have the bearing fixed and while waiting to have everything repaired the storm passed us. It was only rain at the time but we knew it would turn into a mild blizzard. We finally got on the road in the early afternoon but it was too late - the damage was done.

I don’t recall which highway we were on, but it indeed was shut down and we ended up spending the night in the van on the highway until we could get moving again early the next morning. Around 6am when traffic started moving again, we opted to drive to the next closest exit and get a hotel since the roads were still covered in snow. Our drive home was supposed to be about 18 hours without stops and it ended up taking us 3 days. It’s fun to reflect on it now and talk to those that I share that memory with, but it’s safe to say from that day on, I never drove the van home from the end of a tour again.

Matt Greiner

Constellations Artwork

It was December 2007. I was getting inspiration for album artwork from the most unassuming source, a black and white movie from the 1940s. It's A Wonderful Life is a movie about a supernatural intervention in the life of a frustrated businessman. In the movie, an angel is sent from heaven to show George Bailey what life would have been like had he never existed. At their high-school graduation party, George is reintroduced to Mary who has had a crush on him since they were kids. Under the moonlight, they're walking outside when George suddenly turns Mary towards the sky and asks, "You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down."

As I watched the scene unfold, I played out the idea of a rope tied to a star in the sky. I put pen to paper and ran with the concept, pulling inspiration from Matthew 6 where the idea of Heaven coming to earth is introduced. The stars represented steadfast anchors by which we find direction throughout our lives. The kites represent our own fleeting emotions that will alter direction just as the wind changes. I remember getting on the phone with Ryan Clark, the creative mind behind the company Invisible Creature, and explaining the artistic concepts that would eventually come to fruition in the pages of Constellations.  

“Indonesia” 

In 2007, I awoke to find that a relative had died in a plane crash. David Clapper had always been passionate about flying. It wasn't uncommon to see his single-engine Cessna flying over our family farm in Lancaster County, PA. He devoted his time assisting those in need in Southeast Asia by flying the sick and dying from the bush to the nearest hospital, which often times was a several hour flight. On one of his return flights to the bush, he encountered a storm that blew his plane into the side of a mountain. I remember going for a drive after finding out the terrible news. I was so upset that someone doing such a good thing had died in such a terrible way. Here was a man who gave his time and energy to helping others and, in the end, sacrificed his life doing so. I remember wondering what his last words might have been as the plane spun out of control, crashing into the side of the mountain where it still resides today. I learned an important lesson that day. That is, not every question in life has an answer, at least not one that will satisfy. "This is the time to turn down our heads and turn up our hearts."  

I remember traveling to Indonesia on the Constellations Tour. We played an outdoor venue for a large group of excited fans who were seeing us perform for the first time. When it came time to play "Indonesia," a feeling came over me that I'll never forget, an overwhelming sense of humility. The band I helped start in my parent's basement in Lancaster County, PA was playing in Southeast Asia performing a song written about my relative who had passed away on that very continent just the year before. The fans in the crowd seemed to sing about him like he was their relative, not some stranger who's name they merely read in the liner notes of a CD. Near the end of the song Jake screams the words, "David, rest in peace." I'll never forget hearing the crowd sing those very words so loud they could be heard over the amplification of our own instruments. A story goes a long way, sometimes even to the edges of the other side of the planet.  

[fubarexpo]

/’fu:bar/ 2018

Select:

Exhibition

Performances

Lectures

Workshops

SAT Oct 6th

8pm – /’fu:bar/ 2018 EXPO & FESTIVAL OPENING @ Gallery Siva [AKC Medika, Pierottijeva 11, Zagreb]

8pm – Sabato Visconti [US] – #Glitchbooth [interactive installation @ Siva]

9pm – Lovely Insomnia [HU] – Live Set/DJ Set [performance @ Siva]

    SUN Oct 7th

6pm-10pm – Exhibition @ Siva

7pm – Ramiro Polla [BE] – FFglitch [lecture @ Siva]

8pm-10pm – Mark Klink aka srcXor [US] – 3d glitching [teleworkshop @ hacklab01]

    MON Oct 8th

6pm-10pm – Exhibition @ Siva

2pm-5pm – Holographic_thought_process [FR] – Video Dirty Mixer [workshop @ hacklab01]

6pm – Nikša Gligo [HR] – Can glitch music be music at all? [lecture @ Siva]

8pm – Magno Caliman [NL] – screenBashing [performance @ Siva]

    TUE Oct 9th

6pm-10pm – Exhibition @ Siva

2pm – Random Pixel Order [FR] – The Archive [open studio @ Siva]

6pm – Ingeborg Fülepp [HR] – The history of artistic usage of errors in film, video and digital techniques [lecture @ Siva]

8pm – FRGMNT [DE] – SSB - Sequenced Noise Beauty [performance @ Siva]

    WED Oct 10th

6pm-10pm – Exhibition @ Siva

2pm-5pm – FRGMNT [DE] – SNU noise machine [workshop @ hacklab01]

6pm – Magno Caliman [NL] – Error making and "not-knowing": some particularities of the relation between artists and programming languages [lecture @ Siva]

8pm – Paul Vivien [FR] – 99% [performance @ Siva]

    THU Oct 11th

6pm-10pm – Exhibition @ Siva

6pm – ROUND TABLE @ Siva

8pm – Nada Hasan [EG] – Experimental Desires [safe passage] [performance @ Siva]

    FRI Oct 12th

6pm-10pm – Exhibition @ Siva

6pm – GUIDED EXHIBITION TOUR @ Siva

8pm – Tabache & Lady oN [IT] – cHroma flux [performance @ Siva]

9pm – “Ondes noires” screening & FESTIVAL CLOSING @ Siva

Sabato Visconti [US] – #Glitchbooth SAT Oct 6th – 8pm [interactive installation @ Siva]

#Glitchbooth> is a live interactive video installation where participants have their best selves captured in 1-to-2 minute video portraits. The video portraits are glitched using a corrupted DivX encoder and processed for live screening so that participants can see their glitch selves. Modeled after the photo booths found in weddings and events, #Glitchbooth considers "Selfie Culture" as a social practice that is conditioned by the structures of digital technologies and distribution channels.

Sabato Visconti — a Brazilian-born photographer and new media artist based in Western Massachusetts. He was born in São Paulo, grew up in Miami, and studied Political Science at Amherst College. Sabato’s work seeks to reconfigure traditional understandings of photography for the post-internet era, where photographic and cinematic practices become absorbed by digital processes, hybridized media, online networks, and machine intelligence. His work captures the subject in the face of ecological turbulence driven by the dysfunctions of vast impersonal systems. Sabato began experimenting with glitch processes in 2011 with the help of a defective memory card that randomly wrote zeroes on JPEG files. Since then, his work with glitch and digital media has been awarded the ArtSlant Prize IX and has been shown in places like Tate Britain, ICA Boston, SPRING/BREAK Art Show in New York City, LACDA, the FILE Festival in São Paulo, as well as galleries throughout the world. His work has also been published in TIME Magazine, WIRED, The New York Times, AI-AP’s "Latin American Fotografia 4" Anthology, and in Photographer’s Forum annual "Best of Photography" books for eight straight years. sabatobox.com

Lovely Insomnia [HU] SAT Oct 6th – 9pm – Live Set/DJ Set [performance @ Siva]

Gábor Hufnágel — a Hungarian electronic music composer/producer. He’s currently studying electronic music and digital arts at University of Pécs. He describes his music as a fusion of polyrhythms, rich textures and field-recordings. His process often involves algorithmic techniques and aleatoric elements.

During his studies he was influenced by the works of the 20th century electroacoustic composers but he always felt the contemporary experimental music scene closer to him. His upcoming debut album (from which he will play a live set at /’fu:bar/) would like to explore the relation of these two and contribute to abolish the boundaries, elitism and controversy which still surrounds these topics. His works are also heavily emotion-centered, dynamic in terms of tempo as he also tries to unfold the possibilities of contrasts in music.

Ramiro Polla [BE] – FFglitch SUN Oct 7th – 7pm – [lecture @ Siva]

FFglitch is a precision multimedia editing tool based on FFmpeg. When you glitch a file using a hex editor, it's like getting a tattoo with a radioactive axe. You might get some cool results, but you have very high chances of dying from blunt trauma or some cancerous genetic mutation. FFglitch, on the other hand, is more like genetic engineering. You manipulate your genes to naturally grow your tattoo. FFglitch produces valid bitstream, so Facebook or YouTube won't choke on your files. It is so precise it can barely be considered glitching at all...

Ramiro Polla — likes hacking things. He was an FFmpeg developer for 5 years, but now he got better... ffglitch.org

Mark Klink aka srcXor [US] – 3d glitching SUN Oct 7th – 8pm-10pm – [teleworkshop @ hacklab01]

Demonstrating methods for glitching .obj files, using text editors and spreadsheets. Mark will also discuss the standard triangle and edgeloop patterns that are used to form most 3d models and then demonstrate remeshing techniques which can ultimately produce more interesting glitches. If time is available, we’ll discuss other 3d file formats and ways they might be glitched.

Mark Klink — has been and done many things: swept floors, worked in a factory, been an athlete, a minor government official, a lifeguard, a computer programmer, and a traditional print maker. For twenty years he taught children and other educators how to use computers. But the thing he likes best (beside family) is making curious pictures. srcxor.org

Holographic_thought_process [FR] – Video Dirty Mixer MON Oct 8th – 2pm-5pm – [workshop @ hacklab01]

Building of a video dirty mixer, which "mixes" two analog video sources the bad way, resulting in a glitched output. A good case study to talk about composite sync signal and how messing with it can yield wonderful results.

Bastien Lavaud — imagines and creates electronics devices for arts. Audio, video and DIY enthusiast, he shares his creations on his website by providing information on how to build them, and makes demonstration of it in the realisation of video clips/VJing under the alias Holographic Thought Process. syntonie.fr

Nikša Gligo [HR] – Can glitch music be music at all? MON Oct 8th – 6pm – [lecture @ Siva]

The answer to this question depends on what we consider music. Looking back in history we find the expressions like musica mundana, musica humana, and musica instrumentalis. But the meaning of musica there is equal to harmonia, i.e. accord and has nothing to do with the narrower meaning of harmony in the tonal theories. My aim here is to point out that glitch music belongs to all these kinds of music which do not imply traditional, constant determinants of music as art. Glitch music belongs to the same group as "furniture music" (Erik Satie), "paper music" (Josef A. Riedl), "noise music" (Italian futurists), "prose music"/"music to read" (Dieter Schnebel), "eye music" (Luciano Berio), "son organisé" (Edgard Varèse), "organization of sounds" (John Cage), "sound art"... If we want to avoid "sound art" as something that doesn’t belong to music in the most general sense, then we are obliged to think about music in plural ("musics"). Glitch music would then be just one of them with its own theory, aesthetics and meaning.

Nikša Gligo — born in Split in 1946. Croatian musicologist. He graduated in English and comparative literature from Zagreb University (1969) and in musicology from Ljubljana University (1973). He later studied with Koraljka Kos at Zagreb University (MA 1981) and with Andrej Rijavec at Ljubljana University, gaining the PhD in 1984 with a dissertation on problems of new music. He was awarded scholarships to study at the universities of Cologne, Berlin (with Carl Dahlhaus and Rudolf Stephan) and Freiburg (with Hans Heinrich Eggebrecht). He has taught at the Zagreb Academy of Music since 1986. He is the ordinary member of the Croatian Academy of Arts and Sciences and of Academia Europaea in London. Gligo is concerned with the aesthetics, semiotics and terminology of 20th-century music and the use of computers in musicology. His project on the standardization of 20th-century Croatian music terminology resulted in his book Pojmovni vodič kroz glazbu 20. stoljeća, which is relevant to both musicology and linguistics, and for which he received the Croatian National Award in the Humanities.

Magno Caliman [NL] – screenBashing MON Oct 8th – 8pm – [performance @ Siva]

screenBashing is a live coding piece, where audio and visual materials are programmed in real time during its performance. It utilises SuperCollider (a sound oriented programming language) for it's sound components, and C (a general purpose programming language) for it's visual elements. By using the very basic functionality, present in pretty much all programming languages, of printing characters on the screen back to the user, the visuals are created by printing characters such as backslashes and underlines in rapid succession, and at the same time freezing the whole system several times per second, creating the illusion of animated motion; something neither C nor the printing function were originally intended to do. (...) After a certain threshold, the system becomes erratic, up to a point where it is no longer possible neither to gain control, nor to foresee the end of the performance, which happens at the onset of the machine processor capability, when it indubitably fails and crashes, or there is no alternative but to force shut both the visual and audio generators. The current version of the performance, to be played at fu:bar, adds a new layer of error, with the use of a laptop not connected to a power outlet. The amount of charge left in the battery at the beginning of the performance is chosen in order to determine the duration of the piece, which ends with the involuntary shut down of the machine.

Magno Caliman — originally trained as a classical composer at the conservatory, but with a background as a hardcore / death metal guitarist, now present himself as a sound artist and multimedia performer, with a focus on the intersection between art and technology. In particular, two specific practices have guided almost entirely the processes in his works for the last few years: the construction, modification and manipulation of electronic circuits; and the embracing of programming languages as places for poetical speculation. vimeo.com/magnocaliman

Random Pixel Order [FR] – The Archive TUE Oct 9th. – 2pm – [open studio @ Siva]

Random Pixel Order is a project started in 2015 by Clara R/ and Guillaume Cartis - a crossover collective between IT and micro-edition. The project aims to bring the two closer and comprehend how they can mutually develop. Torn between glitch / dev / analog hacking on the one hand and illustrations / graphic novel / zine on the other, the collective choses to do both. The Archive is a digital art zine collection, every publication with its little background story, a particular technique used (sometimes multiple). The collection is open to digital art in general and holds a multitude of techniques - glitch (sonification, 3D glitches, pixel sorting,...), creative coding, web found images, bitmap and MS Paint drawings, scanner movement, digital collage... Different print techniques are also used - some are fully digital prints, some are screenprint or riso, others mix printing techniques. The entire collection of 50 zines will be presented at /’fu:bar/ 2018. Anyone involved with the festival is invited to participate to author a new zine on the spot.

Clara R/ — founded RandomPixelOrder in 2015 with Guillaume Cartis while she was an undergraduate student in mathematics and computer science in Bordeaux, France. Seeing that much code everyday and being fascinated by mathematical functions, she couldn't keep herself from trying to apply those new knowledges to something visual and fun. She experimented on different techniques along the time, going from classic 2D glitch and datamoshing at the very beginning to generative coding and 3D glitch. During this few years, Clara has been implicated on creating projects that build the bridge between zines and computer. Today, as the collective is exploring new physical supports, Clara is opening herself to more interactive techniques as Arduino and video game making. Now she continues her master degree in graphic computer science, robotic and video game while making posters and fanzines. Guillaume Cartis — after a few self-published zines, founded RandomPixelOrder in 2015 with Clara Rigaud aiming to create a bridge between digital and zine making. Exploring different glitch art techniques, he introduced himself to 3D, video editing and film making. In 2016 he joined Disparate, an associative zine store, where he works on Bordeaux Zinefest organisation and workshops. During those years he started to get into risography, screen printing, scenography and awkward electronic music. facebook.com/randompixelorder/

Ingeborg Fülepp [HR] – The history of artistic usage of errors in film, video and digital techniques TUE Oct 9th – 6pm – [lecture @ Siva]

The twentieth century and the beginning of the twenty-first can be labeled as a century of media art. Not only filmmakers, but also painters, sculptors, graphic artists, architects, stage designers and many others have been experimenting with media technologies since its very beginning. This lecture will present a brief historical review of the use of media technology imperfections as an artistic expression. By using the example of Media in Motion Berlin-Zagreb GbR (Ingeborg Fülepp and Heiko Daxl, 1990 to 2012) video production, the lecture will present a multiplicity of artistic image editing approaches, which were realized by a symbiosis of analogue film, video and digital errors in specific video works. At the end of the lecture, visitors will be able to see a selection of the best works of Media in Motion art production.

Ingeborg Fülepp — Born in Zagreb, lives and works in Rijeka, Zagreb and Berlin. Studied film editing (at the Academy for Theatre, Film and Television in Zagreb; today Academy of Dramatic Art - ADU) and post graduate studies, film, video and interactive media at Harvard University (Ed.M) and at Massachusetts Institute of Technology, The Media Lab. Taught film editing at the Academy of Dramatic Art (ADU), Zagreb in 1978 - 1993. Lectures in USA, Great Britain, Netherlands, Austria and Germany since 1983, as well as at the New Media Department at the Academy of Applied Arts (APURI, Rijeka) since 2013, where she founded, and leads the Center for Innovative Media CIM since 2017. She’s an active participant of many international scientific gatherings, exhibitions and festivals, and participates in several EU projects as an associate or a jury member. Worked as a film and video editor on many productions. Received a multitude of scholarships and awards as an independent artist. Own artistic practice involves film, interactive multimedia projects, video art and video installations, of which some were shown in the New National Gallery in Berlin, Museum of Contemporary Art (MSU) in Zagreb, Museum of Modern and Contemporary Art (MMSU) in Rijeka, as well as in many private and national galleries around the world. As a curator, an art director and a media art event organizer - she has ran a non-profit Media in Motion GbR, Berlin-Zagreb with Heiko Daxl, and has organized numerous international exhibitions and gatherings. fuelepp.com

FRGMNT [DE] – SSB - Sequenced Noise Beauty TUE Oct 9th – 8pm – [performance @ Siva]

The performance is a ~30 minutes live improvisation with advanced self made electronics. This involves the SNU (Special Noise Unit, FM-synth), sequencers, ring modulators and unique ultrasonic instruments (transmitters & "bat ears"). The main Units (SNU & sequencer I put under open license & distribute docu after the concert).

Jo FRGMNT Grys — born 1963 in Essen/Germany. Studied chemistry, philosophy, mineralogy etc @ the Justus-Liebig-University of Gießen then more & more turned towards arts using scientifically influenced thinking to investigate formation of structure from noise & order, from error & law and feedback as his main artistic themes. Grys is working with video-snow, electronics, computers, body & brain. Performed with noisiV (self-made electronics and video manipulations), TOB (transmitters and self-made electronics) as FRGMNT (structured noise & DIY ultrasonics) since 2010 and 2VM (VJ team) since 2002. Grys also makes electronic installations & gives workshops since 2004. Among other festivals he has taken part in V2´s DEAF NL, Piksel NO, Pixelache FI, Art Trail IE, Dorkbot CH, CTM DE. Works as an artist & inventor of machines. In recent years he also presents his computer graphics work to the public. frgmnt.org

FRGMNT [DE] – SNU noise machine WED Oct 10th – 2pm-5pm – [workshop @ hacklab01]

In this workshop, participants will be shown how to build the SNU (Special Noise Unit), an experimental sound circuit which uses illegal states falling between 1 and 0, and drives the digital chip it uses into an in-between world of uncertainty, resulting in complexity and uncontrollable behaviour, but also a playable instrument. Bio:

Jo FRGMNT Grys — born 1963 in Essen/Germany. Studied chemistry, philosophy, mineralogy etc @ the Justus-Liebig-University of Gießen then more & more turned towards arts using scientifically influenced thinking to investigate formation of structure from noise & order, from error & law and feedback as his main artistic themes. Grys is working with video-snow, electronics, computers, body & brain. Performed with noisiV (self-made electronics and video manipulations), TOB (transmitters and self-made electronics) as FRGMNT (structured noise & DIY ultrasonics) since 2010 and 2VM (VJ team) since 2002. Grys also makes electronic installations & gives workshops since 2004. Among other festivals he has taken part in V2´s DEAF NL, Piksel NO, Pixelache FI, Art Trail IE, Dorkbot CH, CTM DE. Works as an artist & inventor of machines. In recent years he also presents his computer graphics work to the public. frgmnt.org

Magno Caliman [NL] – Error making and "not-knowing": some particularities of the relation between artists and programming languages WED Oct 10th – 6pm – [lecture @ Siva]

Computer programmers working in non-artistic applications and artists using programming languages to support an artistic practice might seem, at first, to be making use of the same tools (computational devices), and therefore can be thought of having similar practices. In this lecture we will draw parallels between the modes of operation of this two use cases. Specifically, we will comment on how artists are in a position not conceivable to the professional programmer: one where error making, trial-and-error, and "not knowing" some of the underling technical aspects of the practice are not only expected, but sometimes necessary in both the day-to-day experimental practice, as well as in the learning of those computational tools.

Magno Caliman — originally trained as a classical composer at the conservatory, but with a background as a hardcore / death metal guitarist, I now present myself as a sound artist and multimedia performer, with a focus on the intersection between art and technology. In particular, two specific practices have guided almost entirely the processes in my works for a few years now: the construction, modification and manipulation of electronic circuits; and the embracing of programming languages as places for poetical speculation. vimeo.com/magnocaliman/

Paul Vivien [FR] – 99% WED Oct 10th – 8pm – [performance @ Siva]

Loading… Loading… a transfer, a life, a movie, everything needs a time to prepare itself before it’s ready, before it becomes perceptible and pleasant. And when it’s ready, hurray! We can consume it. Why do we need it to be ready? Why don’t we prefer the things which are still in progress? A premature baby, an immature fruit or the current moment of my life with the evolving cells of my body? The last percent is missing, just enough to make you feel uncomfortable about this loading which will never end, with this file and my life you will never successfully download.

Paul Vivien — a new media artist who creates installations and performances. Experimenting with lights, generative custom software, video and sound, each project is an opportunity to discover a new expression way. Thanks to new technologies, he tries to make the virtual boundaries tangible, to augment the experience we could have of the real, accompanied by technology as invisible as possible. The artistic universe of Paul Vivien is hosted by a research about digital forms of life, a theme merging the notions of singularity, artificial intelligence, science fiction and nature. Based in Paris, Paul does talks and workshops at ENSAAMA, ECV and EPSAA art schools. In parallel of his solo projects, he participates to OYÉ visual art label production support, kaleidos studio art and design researches, exhibitions curation, and Omicron Persei 8 live AV. paulvivien.fr

ROUND TABLE THU Oct 11th – 6pm @ Gallery Siva

— on the current state of reinterpretative new media, its (role)models, changes, its influences, in regard to its artistic and technical ethos and praxis. The talk aims to discuss and contextualize diverse glitch-based critical new media (& appropriation) practices, in the company of /’fu:bar/ 2018 guest artists.

Nada Hasan [EG] – Experimental Desires [safe passage] THU Oct 11th – 8pm – [performance @ Siva]

A performance of reading texts and verbatim poems, installations of glitched video and live audio-visuals; an onsite experiment of a woman and her alter egos as she seeks to become the super human. The piece involves the ambivalent contradictions of female/male, weak/strong and white/black as they reside within a single body navigating hostile geographies. The project will explore the emotional, mental and physical aspects of becoming the perfect human through a mind trip and a process of being exposed to an archive of the most tangible realities and feelings, desires and traumas.

Nada Hasan — a Cairo based multidisciplinary artist from Southern Egypt. Her special focus is in video and media arts but her artistic practices vary between illustration, graphic design, performance, theater and storytelling. BA degree holder from faculty of Languages, Russian language and literature department and studied filmmaking at the Cairo Jesuit Cinema School by the year 2010. Since then she developed her skills in film and video art work by self teaching, exploring and experimenting new and various forms of creating moving image. Her work focuses on the emotional package of a body as a commodified being; making the struggles of bodies visible, emotions resistant to modern society persecution, while emphasizing the experience of oppression and our survival performances in functioning within privilege imbalances in connection to the quadrilogy of Race, Gender, Sexuality and Power. Her video and media art practice is curious to transcend the limitations of classical filmmaking and explore contemporary new media practices and its broad possibilities to create an alternative relation between the artist and spectator while constructing unconventional visual, image and motion driven narratives.
 vimeo.com/user5161708

GUIDED EXHIBITION TOUR FRI Oct 12th – 6pm @ Gallery Siva

(hrvatski ~45’ | english~45’) Inquiries contact: fubar@hacklab01.org

Tabache & Lady oN [IT] – cHroma flux FRI Oct 12th – 8pm – [performance @ Siva]

"cHroma flux" explores a process of metamorphosis in which cells of colour and sound expand in order to create new forms. Thanks to technological devices, colour pixels and acoustic music mutate and distribute themselves throughout space giving life to a "technological landscape". The visuals are generated by live manipulation of paintings that have been transferred onto acetate. The resulting prints are positioned onto TV screens by means of feedback generated by webcams and this process triggers a series of transformations of the coloured pixels. The visual flow of colour is managed and produced thanks to an analogue video mixer. The result is a technological animation of colour as if under a microscope. It becomes a kind of digital mantra that responds to itself, reproducing and moving outwards to take over a new space. The audio has been developed from synth sources and classical music sampling. The acoustic samples have been literally deformed by digital and analogical technology, so that they reach the listener as naked sound that has been completely transformed from its original grammatical, cerebral and human nature as musical language. In "cHroma flux", sound and image influence each other in a synaesthetic vision that has been achieved not by machinery but by the physical gesture of a performance coordinated by the performer’s reciprocal listening and looking.

Tabache — starts his journey in 2004 with "Problems with my Mind", an electro experimental punk band with influences from bands like Suicide and subsequently flow into House, Techno, IDM. Publishing two records, "Album" (2005) and "Stato di Tensione"(2007). After moving to Bologna, he started his first solo project, Tabache, specifically devoted to a live and sensorial experience, with strong influences from Techno and Ambient. His new life injected him a new flow of creativity, which brought Francesco to publish in 2015 his first solo record ‘Searching a total state’, and to found his own record label with Alberto Randi and Giovanni Ricchi, "Timeless Records". In the same year he curated the performance and sound design for the performative theatre shows directed by Ennio Ruffolo. His natural interest in clubbing leaded him to open a new channel for the electronic music in Bologna and surroundings, with a serie of electronic events, such as "Sunday Calling" (2012 - 2014), "Futuro Dancefloor" (2015 - 2017), "Bologna Elettrica" (Electronic experimental Festival in XM24 social center, 2017, 2018) , and the new art collective "Einheit" (2017). soundcloud.com/tabache Lady_oN — operates as a videomaker and a visual artist on the national and international scene, realizing dreamlike live visuals sets, wraparound and imaginative visual scenographies invading the spaces of DJ sets, live music, installations and theatrical performances. In a constant state of research and experimentation, Lady_on’s visuals create hypnotic space-time fabrics in a cut up of images, video synthesis, found footage and feedback, contaminating the many pre-existing visuals with the possible infinites of live shooting and sonic incursions. Simultaneously, she is working on the Mediamorphose project, researching a multiplicity of visual expressions via music clips and video documenting reality.instagram.com/mediamorphose/

"Ondes noires" screening & FESTIVAL CLOSING FRI Oct 12th – 9pm @ Gallery Siva

"Ondes noires" / "Dark Waves", Documentary (21’14’’) In an ultraconnected society where waves have almost invaded every space, three electromagnetic intolerant people bear witness of survival in a world that seems more and more inacessible to them. The staging explores the idea of a deceleration in time. A necessary condition for the perception of a reality that extends beyond the visible. Written & Directed by Ismaël Joffroy Chandoutis; Cinematography by Nikos Appelquist Dalton; Production : Le Fresnoy – Studio national des arts contemporains.

// Screens and Prints Aaron Juarez Adrian Cain Affar Oppip Allison Tanenhaus Bartek Pilarczyk Creation by Destruction Cyberart By Justin Digital Ruins Earnest Raw elle thorkveld Ivana Miljkovic Ivana Miolin Barić John Bumstead jrdsctt Magdalena maja kalogera Mark Klink Mila Gvardiol Mirna Udovčić Neal Peterson Riitta Oittinen Robert Hruska Sabato Visconti satej soman Sebastian Gatz sepo Skinny Bunny tajny_projekt Tchidu Twin Pixel vivid windowzine Yuri Zalevski // Interactive Dario Zubovic Jim Andrews jonCates Kolmogorov Toolbox Magdalena Zoledz x Robert Kowalski Sabato Visconti Timo Kahlen // Narrative Gelido Jessica Evans Random Pixel Order // Time-based Baron Lanteigne + Derek Piotr Christoph Kerschner DAJAJDE Daniela Olejnykov (a.k.a paranthre, velvet_bites_) Daniela Takeva, Nikolina Nedialkova, Felix Ermacora Demet Karapinar DF0:BAD Digital Ruins Dom Barra _ AlteredData elle thorkveld Gochevas Ismaël Joffroy Chandoutis Kacper Mutke Lívia Zafanelli Lou Morlier Marija Lučić Meena Khalili Nickk Outernet Explorer Paloma Schnitzer & Pablo Denegri Paul Beaudoin Petra Drevenšek Philippe Girardet Qin Tan [sic][redacted] | alan page Timothy Nohe vivid // Lectures And Workshops Holographic_thought_process Ingeborg Fülepp Jo FRGMNT Grys Magno Caliman Mark Klink aka srcXor Nikša Gligo Ramiro Polla Random Pixel Order // Performances Jo FRGMNT Grys Lovely Insomnia Magno Caliman Nada Hasan Paul Vivien Tabache & Lady oN

[lumalaya]

summer films ‘18

hi there! to clarify, this is a log of films i’ve seen this summer, not exactly films set in the summer, so if you’re here for that, i’m sorry?

anyway, here we go!

1. kasal (2018) / dir. ruel s. bayani ♡ 180525 ♡ girl is engaged to the son of cebu’s current mayor who is currently preparing for elections, but her ex comes back and tries to win her back ♡ cliche, i know, but trust me, this movie deals with this plotline in a very interesting way ♡ and come on, it’s bea alonzo and paulo avelino, two icons 2. high school musical (2006) / dir. kenny ortega ♡ 180614 ♡ iconic, i love troy bolton, thanks for reminding me ♡ i know sharpay isn’t that bad but she’s still a bully lol ♡ the choreography for when there was me and you got me dying i love it ♡  fave song: stick to the status quo 3. high school musical 2 (2007) / dir. kenny ortega ♡ 180622 ♡ my least favorite in the trilogy ♡ there was so much unnecessary drama they should’ve cut troy some slack ♡ i hate chad danforth, that’s all ♡ fave song: you are the music in me 4. high school musical 3: senior year (2008) / dir. kenny ortega ♡ 180622 ♡ my favorite in the trilogy! ♡ i still hate chad tho lol but i love taylor so much she’s my favorite character! ♡ i wish they elaborated more on gabriella though, because i like to imagine an alternate ending where she declines stanford and stays in albuquerque for another year which disappoints everyone and puts a strain on her relationship with troy. that would’ve been so interesting! ♡ fave song: i love all of them, but if i had to choose, the boys are back 5. kimmy dora 2: the temple of kiyeme (2009) / dir. joyce bernal ♡ 180626 ♡ the only reason i watched this was because i had a terrible pimple on my forehead and it reminded me of some horror movie then i realized it was this so i had to look for the particular scene ♡ the movie was really bad, as expected ♡ but i absolutely love eugene domingo!! she’s so talented i really admire her as an actress

6. before sunrise (1995) / dir. richard linklater ♡ 180630 ♡ this was the day my internet ultimately stopped working (for four days, if i may add) so i thought hey why not start that movie marathon i’ve been meaning to do ♡ i was excited to watch this because it’s a known pop culture reference, and also because it’s seulgi’s favorite movie ♡ it’s unique! it’s not easy to film a story that revolves around two people who’ve just met walking around in a city neither of them knows ♡ i liked this movie but it wasn’t that spectacular or anything, i think it lacks emotion and excitement ♡ but please, do not get off a train in europe with someone you’ve just met that is dangerous 

7. before sunset (2004) / dir. richard linklater ♡ 180630 ♡  i knew nothing about this so i was actually surprised to see the same actors nine years after before sunrise’s release ♡ i like this better than the first one! céline shows the emotions i was looking for ♡ it’s much simpler and easier to follow because it really is just them walking around and talking to continue the story because of the short amount of time they have together 

8. before midnight (2013) / dir. richard linklater ♡ 180630 ♡ this movie is the reason i watched the series! it was mentioned in it’s okay, that’s love so i thought i needed to watch this, and honestly, it helped me understand the characters from iotl a bit better! ♡ it ended up being my favorite film of the three ♡ it’s more complex than the first two because it introduces more characters and is set in more locations ♡ after years of watching and reading romcoms, this made me believe in love 

9. gone girl (2014) / dir. david fincher ♡ 180701 ♡ i knew nothing about this film except that there was a girl and she was missing and the plot is unexpected? ♡ i won’t say much on this because it’s amazing when you watch it without knowing anything ♡ but it is CRAZY it hecked me up so much wow ♡ will try reading the book when i can!! 10. the grand budapest hotel (2014) / dir. wes anderson ♡ 180701 ♡ my first wes anderson film (finally) ♡ bored me at first because sadly, i can’t relate to rich european men who live in hotels and have sex with elderly women ♡ but it is so much more than that! it’s funny and deals with loyalty, the war, and crap immigrants go through ♡ yes, the cinematography is unique and beautiful, but i couldn’t appreciate it much from years of seeing wes anderson stills on my social media ♡ i went into this without knowing anything about it, but i wish i’d watched the trailer beforehand because that would’ve helped me appreciate it more 11. the fault in our stars (2014) / dir. josh boone ♡ 180702 ♡ i was bored and looking through my sister’s hard drive and i thought hey why not watch sad western teen books-turned-movies i used to glorify years ago ♡ it was alright but knowing every line, song, facial expression that would come next made it worse ♡ john green’s cameo is so awkward it’s almost funny ♡ i hope i never meet an augustus waters in my life 12. if i stay (2014) / dir. r.j. cutler ♡ 180703 ♡ part 2 of sad western teen books-turned-movies i used to glorify ♡ the story is pretty good but the film itself isn’t as good as i remembered ♡ i’m still so in love with jamie blackley after four years he’s so handsome and his voice is beautiful ♡ chloe moretz’s acting is really awkward though it’s almost painful to watch ♡ it made me want to reread the sequel where she went though! 13. she’s dating the gangster (2014) / dir. cathy garcia-molina ♡ 180705 ♡ i started this with an open mind and some expectations because although i hated on it for no reason years ago, i wanted to give it a chance ♡ but i’m sorry it really is bad ♡ kenji delos reyes is manipulative and selfish i hope i never meet a guy like him 14. grave of the fireflies (1988) / dir. isao takahata ♡ 180706 ♡ two siblings in the middle of a war ♡ watched this because a friend wanted to rabbit with me! ♡ i haven’t seen a ghibli film in a while so this was refreshing ♡ really sad though :( 15. 10 things i hate about you (1999) / dir. gil hunger ♡ 180706 ♡ guy is paid to date girl lol ♡ julia stiles is so beautiful :( i love her ♡ pretty funny actually! ♡ also watched this because friends wanted to rabbit with me :> 16. i’m drunk, i love you (2017) / dir. jp habac ♡ 180707 ♡ i finally, finally watched this ♡ not gonna lie it disappointed me? so many people loved it but for me it was eh ♡ paulo avelino’s character was pretty lacking for me, i wish they’d elaborated more on him ♡ but i liked the group dynamic because they’re not the wholesome, fake happy kind of friends, seeing them interact made me feel like they’re people i really know in real life (which made me miss my own friends) ♡ even jasmine’s character felt real because she’s probably someone i’d know HAHA ♡ fun fact: i’ve listened to the song lloydy long before watching this because i mean? a song about john lloyd? sign me up 17. that thing called tadhana (2014) / dir. antoinette jadaone ♡ 180708 ♡ another film i finally watched after multiple pop culture references ♡ i actually kinda liked it! it literally has a spiel about john lloyd of course i do but it gets better when the main characters become comfortable with each other ♡ i find it interesting that the director also directed love you to the stars and back which is another film that revolves around two people, both dealing with stuff, who’d just met and decide to go on a journey together ♡ the characters also feel pretty realistic/relatable once you get to know them 18. the spectacular now (2013) / dir. james ponsoldt ♡ 180709 ♡ part 3 of sad western teen books-turned-movies i used to glorify ♡ the only reason i rewatched this was because it was the shortest of the films i had at the time and i needed something to pass the time while loading episodes of svt club ♡ i mean it’s okay? not bad not good and i don’t even like miles teller ♡ shailene woodley perfectly plays the part of the awkward oblivious girl (and that’s not a compliment) 19. the breakup playlist (2015) / dir. dan villegas ♡ 180716 ♡ this film was so refreshing to watch?? sarah portrayed a youthful musician just starting out so so well i love her so much what a great first sarah g movie for me ♡ piolo made me fall in love with him and later on hate him, as he should ♡ i love opm kaya seeing the gig scene, some actual artists like ebe dancel, and looots of covers of songs like wag na wag mong sasabihin by kitchie nadal and with a smile by eraserheads ♡ i understand now why people love paano bang magmahal HAHAHA 20. barcelona: a love untold (2016) / dir. olivia lamasan ♡ 180717 ♡ alright so remember how i absolutely hated sdtg? ♡ I LOVED THIS FILM SO. MUCH. ♡ kathniel matured a lot in two years and i think they were perfect for this!! they really showed certain struggles of young adults and did not disappoint ♡ it also shows filipino values for family, utang ng loob, ofw struggles, etc ♡ and of course the cinematography is beautiful HUHU i mean it’s barcelona!! 21. my annoying brother (2016) / dir. kwon soo-kyung ♡ 180721 ♡ honestly took me a bit to get into it  ♡ i expected it to be funny and although it did make me laugh a lot why were there tears :((( ♡ kyungsoo is so, so, so talented i admire him so much as an actor now ♡ really hits you in the feels! a really beautiful story about two brothers 22. so i married an anti-fan (2016) / dir. kim jae-young ♡ 180724 ♡ meh ♡ it took some getting used to seeing chanyeol being all snobbish and cool instead of his usual loud happy self ♡ of course it’s overdramatic for the comedy, but the hate-turned-love isn’t even that good lol it’s just unreasonable but whatever ♡ the lead girl reminds me of arci munoz HAHA 23. wonder (2017) / dir. stephen chbosky ♡ 180725 ♡ we watched this during my summer program and i was actually pretty excited because i remember loving the book! ♡ this honestly teaches you a lot not even just from the perspective of children but also as teenagers, parents, friends, etc ♡ i thoroughly enjoyed it!

[lekshk]

Bangalore days - Nanna Life in Namma Bengaluru

If you hear the word Bangalore, which Malayali would say no? ~ Kuttan (Nivin Pauly's character from the movie Bangalore days) That was the case for me too but life had become stressful when I moved from Mumbai to Bengaluru a year back. My parents settled in Trivandrum, I was juggling between 3 cities. Three operations and a dialysis back to back, my move was a blessing because I could reach my parents faster anytime at a cheaper cost. However, the strain associated with it was good enough to take a toll of my mental health. I was missing Mumbai and all the struggles associated with moving to a new city were clearly affecting me. Work was equally demanding and even though I had a supportive team, I was always having a sense of not being able to give enough. Soon, I started becoming toxic to everything around me. Nothing made sense and I would get irritated at the drop of a hat. Loneliness started creeping in and it just felt like the odds are not in my favor. If only someone could understand me. That's when I came across this quote. Have 3 jobs in life – one that gives you salary, one that keeps you fit and one that gets you creative. ~ Unknown source What excited me reading it, I don't know. Probably the possibility of donning multifarious hats awoke my Mumbaikar spirit. Suddenly, I could feel the buzz and the energy in my bones and I started looking forward to it. To start with - Salary, well, I already had the job. What should I do to keep fit? That's when another quote struck! When you want something badly, the whole universe conspires to make it happen. ~ Pauolo Coehlo (The Alchemist) Salsa, Bachata, Jive – as if the ballet dancer in the picture of Dance with me studio was staring at me. I used to see it everyday while commuting to office, but how come I never payed attention to it?! So, dance it is! Fitness – check it off! Next- Creativity Again, Paulo Coehlo's words started ringing in my ears. I had always wanted to learn art. Cool, that's settled then! Enroll for art classes and burst your creativity! Now, a 9 hour job and Bengaluru traffic don't go hand in hand. I had to find a way where I could have the cake and eat it too! Soon, a time table was set considering the commute time and the space for intermittent relaxation periods. Because self care, while necessary, shouldn't become exhausting by overdoing it out of excitement of newfound strength and invincibility! You can conquer the world but hey! hey! take one day at a time! I realized weekdays I was out for work anyway. So, enrolling for classes on such days would be a good idea because that would ensure I attended them no matter how much ever tiring they seem because the traffic here would discourage you to step out of the house on weekends. I decided the weekends could be a leisurely one instead. Hence, I chose the less peak hours of 12 to 9 pm shift which fortunately my project had. Twice a week, I would attend dance classes in the mornings and freshen up in the office shower rooms and login to work. Surprisingly, even though initially, it was hectic, dance brought out joy in me. I would feel rejuvenated and work was becoming pleasurable. My face started to glow, I would joke with my colleagues, call my parents regularly. There was more laughter and happiness around. The remaining 3 days I would do simple yoga in the meditation room in the office premise. I also made it a point to spend half hour in the library known as the Information Resource Center (IRC). Reading edit page in Bangalore mirror became a ritual and attending video screenings arranged by IRC became part of the work DNA. It motivated me to work better and build effective relationships at work. I enrolled for art workshops during weekends and would spend an average of 3 hours of learning. Here, there was no pressure of commitment because it would be a one time activity and one could take our art work the same day. Soon, I ended up making macrames, dot mandalas, paintings using fluid water colors, acrylics and pallete knives. A finished art work would make me feel proud and the weekday stresses melted away in the art. The remaining hours went in cleaning my room, washing clothes, watching movies, go for shopping etc. The new found love for myself, made me even bolder now. I realized, I had always wanted to teach music. And lo! the opportunity came in and I got 3 kids between 5 to 16 years of age under my tutelage! I was now an entrepreneur! It was here Maya Angelou's words came to my rescue- If you get, give. If you learn, teach. I realized only when you give back to the society, your life becomes meaningful. And volunteering is a great way to start here. What better than TATA initiatives? I began teaching spoken English to security and house keeping staff once a week on weekdays. Though my joy grew multi fold, so did my work obligations. Volunteering on weekdays gradually became a distant possibility. But I was not to give up. When plan A doesn't work, there's always a plan B and the remaining 24 English alphabets! I decided to contribute through content creation instead of teaching and shifted volunteering to weekends instead of weekdays. This resulted in getting associated with other volunteering activities such as making doodles for road safety or attend awareness sessions on mental health or environment conservation or read stories to kids in a children's home. It is said that charity begins at home. For me, it began with myself. The moment I started to take care of myself, it got extended to my family and friends, colleagues and relatives, work place and communities. It was now time to give back to the city that embraced me with open arms. Through The Ugly Indian suggested by a dear friend, I contributed to this NGO's efforts to beautify Bengaluru by adopting the streets, flyovers, underpasses, metro stations, parks through simple geometrical wall paintings, garbage cleaning and sapling plantation, all of them famously known as spot fixing. I realized my problems were indeed manageable. And slowly my cribs turned into love. The expectations from myself, my family, work, colleagues, friends, relatives, communities became easier to maneuver. I started maintaining Gratitude and Thought journals. It is said that either you do what you like or like what you do. I know I have the capacity to look for things I want and pursue them. How about trying the other way round? i.e. instead of going for what I want, can I go for what is available? What does the city offer? Do I like it? Do I want to experiment with it? The answer was a big YES! Famous for numerous start ups, the city is active with events such as dialogues with books, travel, cinema, board games, comedy nights, karaokes in various cafes or at cubbon park and with film screenings and theater performances in metro station auditoriums too! People are ready to welcome new ideas and experiment with them. Boasting of cycling enthusiasts too, I also went for one day cycling trips. The Indian Heritage Walks (IHW) helped me see the city through a different lens. Karnataka being a state blessed with forests, beaches and heritage sites, weekend getaways are pretty popular in the city and I managed to visit Hampi (a long time wish, thanks to the Malayalam movie Aanandam) and Coorg through an adventure group and Karnataka State Tourism Development Corporation (KSTDC) respectively. My next in the wish list is Jungle lodges! As Bengaluru traffic is unavoidable and since I travel by AC Volvo buses of Bengaluru Metropolitan Transport Corporation (BMTC), I decided to read a book during the commute to not only avoid the boredom but to also add variety to my creative pursuits. Known also for pub culture, I reconnected with my cousins already settled here, and together, we explored pubs, fine dine restaurants, reminisced the old days, shared laughter, played poker, watched cricket matches and had loads of fun in simple terms! From all this I realized, when you know and accept who you are and then go for what you want, what you think, say and do, come in perfect harmony. You end up loving more, giving more and caring more. Genuinely. At the risk of sounding cliched, life is indeed a balance. It is simple but we make it complicated. That reminded me of a joke shared by a psychiatrist in the TV show Satyamev Jayate - Agar 100 saal ki zindagi, 10 saal mein jeena chahoge, toh pareshan hi rahoge na? (If you aim to live a 100 year life in 10 years, wouldn't you be stressed?) Now I give percentage of importance to all that matters to me. I neither chuck out anything or compromise anywhere. Because I know I can have it all but not all at once. I remind this kindly to myself and just play with the levels of significance. I try to be flexible enough to change them when necessary. I also try to embrace negative emotions like disappointments, anger, frustration and later change the way I feel about it. Now I don't feel like running away from the past or being afraid of the future. My endeavor instead has shifted to be the first rate version of my unique present. Trust me, it's very hard to practice but it is definitely worth giving a shot. I would like to end on a funny note, keeping in mind the pub culture of the city - When life throws lemons, I order a tequila. In true Bengalurean style, Enjoy Maadi!

Picture collection 1 - (From top to bottom) Family, Cousins, Friends

Picture collection 2 - Volunteering with The Ugly Indian

Picture collection 3 - Alumni meet with storytellers (Kathalaya Academy of Storytelling)

Picture collection 4 - (From top to bottom) Know Your Indian Roots, Dialogues with Books, Tipu Sultan Palace through IHW, SPIK MACAY Classical Vocal Concert

Picture collection 5 - Mime performance with TCS colleagues (Team Mounam)

Picture collection 6 - Art & Craft Workshops

Picture collection 7 - (From top to bottom) Story reading at children's home, doodling for traffic awareness, mental health awareness session at NIMHANS through Volunteer For Cause (VFC)

Picture 8 - Trip to Yelagiri with family and cousin's family

Last but not the least - my love for plants as a gift to all my wonderful readers

[oxfamontour-blog]

We’re recruiting for our Brasil shows. We need you to apply to be a volunteer.

Coldplay is coming to Brasil and we need the help of you awesome campaigners to help at the shows.

November 2017 marks the final fews weeks of the A Head Full of Dreams Tour and the 15th year that that Coldplay has been campaigning with Oxfam to fight poverty and injustices. 

This November Oxfam will be in Brasil at the Coldplay concert, talking to Coldplay fans about Oxfam’s refugee campaign; Stand As One and we need 30 volunteers to help us on the night of the show.

WHO ARE WE LOOKING FOR?

We’re looking for vibrant, energetic people, who care about the displacement crisis and want to do something proactive about it. You need to be confident at talking to strangers in their local language about Oxfam’s work and the Stand As One campaign.

You will need to be available from 4:00pm until 8:30pm on the 7th, 8th or 11th November. You need to speak English and Portuguese, so that you can be briefed and trained by our staff member on the tour and speak with Coldplay fans at the concerts about Oxfam’s work.

You will be provided with all the training and materials you need for the role. All you need to bring is some food, money for your refreshments at the show and LOTS of energy.

In return for your time you will receive a FREE ticket to watch COLDPLAY!!

TELL ME MORE ABOUT THE CAMPAIGN

It was recorded last year that 65 million people have been forced to flee their homes due to conflict and persecution – the highest number ever recorded.  Millions more people have left everything behind fleeing environmental disasters and leaving their homes in search of a better way of life and a chance to remove themselves from poverty.

We all deserve to live in safety. We need those people who are suffering to know we care. Oxfam’s Stand As One campaign has so far brought together over 250,000 people world-wide to show their solidarity with those fleeing conflict and disaster in search of a better life.

This year is the time for change. With a record number of people forced to flee now is the time to show them we stand together, and call on governments for support and protection for everyone.

We are all part of humanity; we share hopes, outrage, and determination.

We can all be part of the solution.

Oxfam is touring with Coldplay to ask their fans to stand together with us and call on world leaders to provide support and protection to all those fleeing conflict and disaster.

On the 7th, 8th and 11th November, we will be talking to fans at their shows in Sao Paulo and Porto Alegre. We have 10 volunteer vacancies per concert for energetic, passionate campaigners who want to give some time and help us to build a movement of Coldplay fans who care about refugees.

HOW DO I APPLY?

To apply, please follow this link and fill in the form before 4pm BRST on Friday 3rd November.

http://bit.ly/SAVolApp

WHAT IS IT LIKE TO VOLUNTEER? 

Over the past two years over 1,000 people have volunteered with us at Coldplay shows, here is some of the things they had to say about their experience. 

“It was really fun to engage and to feel like I was doing something that matters.” - Oxfam on tour crew volunteer,, Chicago

“Volunteering with so many cool people! I loved our Boston crew.” - Oxfam on tour crew volunteer, Boston.

“Engaging with the fans about Oxfam and Coldplay. Some of them lit up when I was telling them about the relationship between Oxfam and Coldplay - as if they had just discovered another reason to love the band.” - Oxfam on tour crew volunteer, Foxbor.

“The energy of the crew and leaders and speaking to people who were fully supportive, retored my faith in humanity given current events on the news.” - Oxfam on tour crew volunteer, Toronto.

WHAT IS IT LIKE ON THE DAY?

Want to find out more about what it’s like on the day for volunteers? Here, volunteer Krisine tells us all about what volunteering is like for Oxfam.

You volunteered at the Coldplay show in Omaha, can you tell us what volunteering with Oxfam entails?

Well, I responded to the recruitment tweet sent by @OxfamAmerica.  Confirmed via several emails that I would be there, and then showed up at the venue.  I met the other volunteers and sat with the team leader to learn what was expected.  Prior to arriving at the venue I received a packet of information and expectations which really prepared me for what was going to happen.  I appreciated that. Meeting other people who felt the same passion as I do was truly rewarding and everyone was so amazing.  I worked for about three hours, just approaching concert goers and asking them to sign our petition, not for money or time commitment but rather just as a name, a VOICE to send to world leaders that our priority is to keep the protections for refugees all in place.  Learning what the band has done by having Oxfam on tour only fuelled my drive to do well.

Was the volunteering hard work?

Not at all!  I was a little nervous about approaching strangers, but let’s face it, everyone loves freebies and pictures, so it was a great opportunity to offer the exclusive wrist band and then tell them about Oxfam and why we were there.  Surprisingly, many people knew about Coldplay’s commitment to refugees and I met so many amazing people from all over who had travelled for the concert.  Everyone there is aiming to have fun and I felt like we were giving them an opportunity to help a great cause and get a memory with a photo and a keepsake in the Stand As One wristband.  It was a win-win evening!  Honestly, out of all the folks I approached and spoke to, only one set of people declined and walked away.

Was there anything that surprised you about your evening? 

I was surprised at how much fun I had.  It was emotionally exhausting because I was truly invested in getting a message out.  I wanted people to be more aware and maybe think about it or research it after they left the concert so I put my whole heart into my message and it was incredibly fulfilling and also exhausting.  I would do it again anytime!

What was the best part of the evening? 

Truly, the best part for me was making new friends with the other volunteers, meeting Rachel (the staff lead) and feeling like I was part of larger movement that is focused on building a world that is fulfilling for everyone regardless of nationality and colour.  I guess that sounds corny, but when it comes down to it, all we really want is to live a satisfying life with friends and family and safety.  I wish that for ALL the humans on this planet.

How was Coldplay’s show? 

I am a Coldplay fan.  Not a super fan I guess but the concert was like a massive rave!  It was so much fun!  The light show, the confetti, the singing and dancing, the oneness of the crowd, it truly is in the top five of the best concerts I have ever been to.  They put their whole heart and soul into their performance even though it was the 96th on this tour!!!  Their message of love is undeniable.

What was your favourite part of the show?

It was just a sensory experience all around.  The lights, the flashing wrist bands, the confetti and balloons made Coldplay’s music the cherry on top.  Chris Martin was charming and funny and so amazing. I would say I am a different level of fan than I was before this entire experience. 

HOW DO I APPLY?To apply, please follow this link and fill in the form before 4pm BRST on Friday 3rd November. http://bit.ly/SAVolApp

[twopedalpushers]

Travel update #6

Brazil

After leaving my bike and bags behind for safe keeping with a friend in Peru, I boarded a flight to Brazil, blissfully unaware of all of the events that would unfold in the coming months. The plan was for both me and Max to have a little break from cycling before reconvening in Peru, full of energy and ready to carry on pedalling South.

Max was off spending some time with his family in the Galapagos for a couple of weeks and I was heading to Rio de Janeiro for Carnival!

I had wanted to visit Brazil for years. Unfortunately our cycle route didn’t take us through Brazil, so I was excited about the prospect of getting to visit whilst on this trip. I had spent so much time imagining what Brazil would be like over the years that I was nervous about it not living up to my expectations.

Brazil during Carnival exceeded my expectations by a long shot. I arrived about halfway through Carnival, which in hindsight I’m actually pleased about because I don’t think my body could have taken much more.

Carnival in Rio is everywhere. It takes the form of huge street parties called “Blocos”. If you don’t know anything about Carnival (which I ignorantly did not before arriving) Blocos are neighbourhood parties created by local residents - some of which have been taking place annually for over 100 years. Some have musical themes, some have a dress code and the general idea is that locals follow a huge band or sound system around the block, dancing, singing, drinking and generally letting loose.

What I did not know before Carnival is that there are a few hundred of these Blocos over the course of the celebrations and most have between 5,000-30,0000 people in attendance. So even if you want to innocently pop out to pick something up from the shops or grab a bite to eat, you can’t help but getting roped into the partying and suddenly you wake up the next day with a hangover, covered in glitter, wondering how the hell you got home.

The biggest Blocos start at 8am and I’m pretty sure they have no end. I tried on a couple of occasions to stay until the end but called it quits around 5 or 6am when the partying somehow seemed to gain a new lease of life. Blocos aren’t just for young people, there are a lot of families and elderly Cariocas getting down with the best of them.

During Carnival, it becomes normal to see people going about their daily business dressed like this:

Or taking the Metro dressed like this:

Of course, I also had an outfit and found it pretty entertaining to spend the week wearing hot pants and a huge flower crown.

On this note, one of the best things about Brazil is how body positive everybody is. Rio is known for its beaches- Copacabana, Ipanema and Joatinga, so I spent a lot of time at them. It was refreshing to see so many women rocking itty bitty bikini’s no matter their size. In Brazil, it didn’t seem to matter what type of body you had, as long as you owned it, exuded confidence and showed it off.

The city in itself is backed onto by Tijuca National Park - a tropical rainforest. Walking down the iconic patterned cobbled streets, it feels like the built environment is in constant struggle with the nature that surrounds it. Plants and trees sprout from cracks in the pavement, vines overtake and dangle down from powerlines. Favelas sprawl up into the mountains, looking down on the Atlantic Ocean.

Rio isn’t polished, its full of graffiti and grimy. On one occasion I saw a pile of rats on a discarded sofa in the middle of the street fighting over half a salgado (a type of Brazilian pasty). For me, this added to its charm. I’ve spent a lot of time in cities in South America that felt like they were trying really hard to be something their not in order to attract tourists. Rio doesn’t try, its effortlessly cool and its people felt genuine.

For me the best thing about Brazil was the amount of other mixed-race people. I’m normally the odd one out in the largely white spaces that I inhabit back in the UK. I’ve grown up with it being that way so have learnt to look past this. However in Brazil, there was something really comforting about seeing so many other faces that looked just like mine. For the first time in my life I felt like I fitted in.

Aside from partying, I did all of the touristy things while in Rio. I drank Caipirinhas on the beach, visited Christ the Redeemer and Sugarloaf Mountain.

My absolute highlight of Carnival was watching the final parade in the Sambadromo. The Sambadromo is an open air stadium in which Rio de Janeiro’s famous samba schools dance across the 100 metre long stage to mark the start and end of Carnival. If you have ever seen photos on the news or the internet of Brazilian dancers wearing incredible costumes with huge floats in the background - the Sambadromo is where they were taken. The schools parade with moving structures about the size of a two storey house, each one decorated with dancers. Each samba school has a bespoke song that’s played throughout the stadium- these songs are also sung in the Blocos and become the sound of Carnival as a whole. In the stands, Cariocas sing, drink and dance while the performers in their dazzling costumes samba on stage. It takes about an hour for each school to cross the 100m stage and the entire performance goes on for about 6 hours. The Sambadromo has to be the greatest parade on earth and I highly, highly recommend seeing it. It’s such a huge spectacle, no description can really do it any justice.

I accidentally ended up spending more time in Rio than I first anticipated and more or less had to tear myself away. I was heading to Paraty, a small, beautiful Portuguese colonial town - a stopover between Rio and Sao Paulo. During my time in Brazil I was mainly travelling by bus - for the first time on the whole trip. I gained a new found respect for bus travelling backpackers whilst in Brazil because it is so arduous and boring sitting still for hours on end!

Unfortunately a couple of days into my time in Paraty, I received some awful news from Max. After returning from the Galapagos, Max had planned to continue cycling south into Peru in order to meet up with me in a couple of weeks time once I had returned from Brazil. On the first day of cycling alone he had been robbed by two men in a pickup truck at gunpoint, losing his bicycle and all of his possessions. Fortunately he had been able to get away with his life, despite the assailants wanting him to get into the pickup truck too. The police were involved and followed the GPS tracker that he had (that had been stolen) to try and find the whereabouts of his possessions. Unfortunately the police didn’t find anything at the location where the GPS tracker cut out, so its likely that they found it and turned it off.

The entire time that I was in Ecuador I felt very safe. On a couple of occasions, locals and the police told us to be careful but we took their advice with a pinch of salt. In every country that we crossed in Central and South America, people frequently told us that it was “too dangerous” to be there. When I landed in Brazil I thought to myself that if I were to get robbed during this trip, it would happen in Rio de Janeiro. Everyone gets robbed in Rio (it’s almost a rite of passage, especially during Carnival) - yet it didn’t happen to me. It’s not that either of us ever let our guards down, I think it was just a case of extremely bad luck. Max was robbed on a busy road - the Panamericana, during the daytime. I’m not sure how the robbery could have been avoided unless we had decided not to travel around South America all of those months ago and stayed at home instead.

After picking up an emergency passport, Max decided to join me in Brazil. We weren’t sure whether it would be possible to cycle anymore, or even if we wanted to after what had happened. We were 6 months into our year long trip, so we needed to come up with a new plan.

We were reunited in São Paulo, Brazil’s biggest city. We spent our time there hanging out in São Paulo’s coolest neighbourhood - Vila Madalena. It’s similar to Hackney Wick so felt a lot like a home from home (but with much better weather!) We happened to be in São Paulo during their International Women’s day protests, which sort of felt like a mini, politicised version of Carnival. Again, people were wearing costumes, chanting and street vendors were selling alcohol. It reminded me of how uptight we are in the UK - selling alcohol at a protest would never happen in London!

From São Paulo we took an internal flight up to Salvador, Bahía. Salvador is know for its old Portuguese historical centre, full of picturesque pastel coloured buildings.

It was during our time in Salvador that Coronavirus started to ramp up in the UK and the first time we considered the possibility that it may affect our trip. Whilst we were in Salvador, Peru, Argentina, Colombia, Ecuador and Chile suddenly closed their borders without warning.

We both had flights to Peru in a couple of weeks time that were cancelled. My bike and all of my belongings were now stuck in Peru.

For about 5 days we lived in a state of denial, deciding that if we had to isolate in Brazil, we would get an Airbnb somewhere near the coast and wait it out. I was convinced that Peru would re-open its borders in a few weeks and we would be able to pick up my bike and carry on travelling.

I think we felt this way because there was an utter lack of panic in Brazil. The Brazilian president, Bolsanaro, is still to this day dismissing Coronavirus as “just a little flu”. In the days before leaving Brazil, we were frequenting packed restaurants, beaches and coffee shops. We felt that it was a silly idea to return to Europe; the epicentre of the virus.

Looking at the situation in the rest of South America, it started to become apparent that travelling freely was not going to be possible for some time. Max no longer had a bike. I no longer had a bike. The trip that we had planned in a sense was already over.

The beaches started to close in Brazil and the locals mentality towards foreigners was shifting. People no longer wanted tourists as they were the people bringing across the virus. It became clear that with so many people already in extreme poverty in Brazil, people could become very desperate very quickly. That morning we made the decision to leave.

My journey back to the UK was swift and boring, so I won’t bog you down with all of the details. I found it funny that I had left the UK with two lots of extra hold luggage but was returning with only a small backpack.

I had been functioning in Spanish and a little bit of bad Portuguese for the past 6 months so it was weird and distracting to overhear conversations and understand everything being said in Gatwick Airport. We arrived a couple of days before total lockdown was announced but I remember travelling in the car and the roads being completely desolate; so different to the hustle and bustle of Salvador. It was also mid March so the clouds were low in the sky, the trees barren and the landscape shockingly flat (in comparison to the Andes!) Earlier that day I was surrounded by the lush, tropical, sunny, sweetness of Brazil so it felt like I was suffering from some form of mental whiplash.

My return to the UK wasn’t what I wanted it to be but I’ve come to accept it. My travels haven’t been something that I have spoken about with my friends or family since returning as everyone is justifiably wrapped up in discussing Coronavirus (myself included). It’s actually been incredibly cathartic to write about the final few weeks of the trip and remind myself about the fun times that I had!

I am super grateful for the 6 months that I spent away, especially now that travelling is off the cards for everyone for a while!

I’m going to follow this update with a reflective post on the trip as a whole in order to conclude my blog. Like I did in all of my previous posts, I have written a list of all of the interesting things that I noticed/appreciated whilst I was in Brazil. Here goes:

It’s true that literally everyone wears Havaianas in Brazil.

For some reason the builders van/bus/ vehicle of choice is the old vintage VW camper van in white. They’re everywhere in Brazil and I’m not sure why, the don’t even make them here in the UK anymore, maybe they still make them in Brazil

The most popular thing sold on the beach is grilled cheese on a stick.

Açai smoothies. Yum Yum Yum. I still dream about these. Before Brazil I wasn’t sure what açai berries were but it turns out that they are grown in Brazil, so açai smoothies are super cheap there. They’re sold on every street corner and everyone drinks them. They’re full of caffeine so you get pretty buzzed.

There are lots and lots of “kilo buffet” restaurants.

50% of the people you see around will be wearing a Brazil football shirt.

The rest of South America seemed to be all about sweet things and desserts (there were Panaderías everywhere!) Brazil is more about savoury snacks, salgados and pasteïs. I only saw one bakery while I was there and it was a boujee, hipstery one.