#it's also a great site for me to practice reading in english so i don't forget it

[ngtskynebula]

In that case It’s selfish of me but I enjoy you flooding my dash. I’d rather it not be at the expense of you feeling better though 💓

Oh, nonnie, that's so cute 😭💖

I am going through a harsh phase in life, indeed, but my experience with socmed got a bit better, at least, if it amounts to smth? I've learned to manage it a bit better now that I've grown up, and I'm slowly trying to enrich my offline life so as to make my online experience smth that's complementary, and not sickeningly MAIN in my routine. I've got great friends, and I've got subjects I'm passionate about; smth, smth, how is joy outside of consumption?, smth. I think about that a lot, and I'm trying to find out what works for me.

Tumblr's cool for me because it's mostly text-based content, and I love it like that, although some ppl... well, anyway. As times passes me by, the tendency is that I do, indeed, become more and more offline, but I'll be honest, this ask made me very happy, and now I feel encouraged to keep on using this acc a bit more 🥹

[corgitation]

resources I'm using for studying japanese

vocab/kanji:

wanikani: I use daily reviews to learn kanji and vocabulary using the kanji. This resource isn't free, but this has really helped me stay consistent. I like the UI and find the content helpful

renshuu: this is my favorite mobile app, I use this to learn JLPT-specific vocab and kanji. I use the free version

mochi srs: the best flashcard app! The UI is super easy to use and has lots of shortcuts for making and reviewing cards fast. You can easily create and edit templates for cards, and have cards reference other cards. I have a deck for kanji and one for vocab, and my vocab template references any kanji that are used in the vocab tab. There's also super easy furigana, lots of features for japanese.

grammar:

bunpro: really good for grammar, this has lessons for each grammar rule and divides them into groups through popular textbooks and their own groupings for jlpt grammar

genki textbooks: pretty standard textbook for learning vocab, grammar, and kanji

genki study resources: great site with activities for all the genki lessons

tokini andy genki reviews: extra practice for genki lessons, explains some grammar more clearly, introduces new dialogue.

reading:

japanese folktales for language learners and japanese stories for language learners: folktales are a really great way to learn, because these references come up a lot. I've seen references to urashimo taro in evangelion, and the new pokemon dlc is a reference to momotaro. This book has the japanese on one page and english on the other, with vocabulary after the chapter. (here and here on natively)

animal crossing new leaf tobimori: I've recently started playing this and it's so much fun. I'm already really familiar with the game so I don't depend on any of the text for playing, and it's good for more common expressions, differences in speech between polite/casual/male/female etc. I have a post describing how I'm able to play this here. (here on lingotrack)

listening:

japanese with shun: big fan of this podcast, it's free on spotify and youtube, which scripts on patreon. Each podcast is about a short subject, and they're all in japanese. (here on lingotrack)

learn japanese pod: some free podcasts on spotify with more paid content, this one is both about japanese and in japanese. It will teach phrases for specific scenarios, like ordering sushi or refusing situations.

tracking:

lingotrack: I started time tracking a couple of months ago and it's been so helpful! This site is great for quickly logging study activities and seeing how the time stacks up. It helps me identify which areas I'm spending enough time in and which ones are lacking. I also use the library section for keeping track of my japanese native content

toggl: I use this online stopwatch for tracking the time for different study activities so I can log them in lingotrack. It also has a browser extension which I usually use

finding native content:

natively: excellent site for finding comprehensible input content and tracking days read. This site has a lot of reviews for books so it makes it easy to find books that are on level. You can follow me here

lingotrack: collections in lingotrack provides user generated groups of content so that you can create an see groupings of native material content. There aren't as many reviews for material here as there are for natively though, so I find material there and then add them here. You can follow me here

other:

tofugu: this blog has everything. Use it for finding reviews on japanese language resources, learning grammar rules, etc.

jisho: dictionary app, I use it as my source of truth for vocab and kanji meanings

heisig's remembering the kanji: a different approach to learning kanji, this focuses on first teaching the simplest kanji and building from ones you already know. This is different from wanikani, which will make sure you know (its own) particles before introducing the kanji that uses them, but focuses on learning kanji and vocab in priority order. I'm listing it here because I don't use it much anymore

deepl: ai translator, works much better than google translate. You can also put sentences in chatgpt and ask it for broken down explanations. Take any translations from ai with a grain of salt - they are great tools but do not ensure accuracy

edit 3/10/2024: added tracking and native content sections, added links to lingotrack and natively for media

[xinyuehui]

Hello there! do you still have an older version of evolwallpaper? I was late to the party and I can't install it properly anymore T_T

Hi anon, unfortunately I no longer have the old .exe 😩 I checked weibo, other users in China are having problems with it as well, my conclusion to this is that it's a broken app full of bugs, probably got nothing to do with regions (ノへ￣、)

Babe because of your ask, I spent good 5 hours tonight trying to debug it, because I insist we all get the dynamic wallpapers!!!

Original guide // Deepspace PC guide

By the end of this tutorial, we should have a video like this applied to our computer wallpaper:

There's Nikki, MLQC, Deepspace and The Perceiver wallpapers.

New guide:

https://paperwall.papegames.com/

Same step as before, download this but don't install yet!

The following was actually hidden in their Q&A, you'll also need this for it to run, download the runtime version.

https://dotnet.microsoft.com/en-us/download/dotnet-framework/net48

After you install the .NET Framework 4.8 go ahead and try to install the PAPERWALL .exe

→ If it works, great! We solved the problem!! 🎉 (You can skip to the section on the bottom on how to use the app)

→ If you get this error message, ugh congratulations, this is where I tried about 67 solutions for hours just so you don't have to

It's weird, because at this point, the thing have successfully installed on your local drive but it won't run.

Let's go back a step, if you open the .exe again, take note of where it's at on your computer. For me you can see that it's in the C drive, I presume it'll be the same for you.

Find the folder, open it

Open the app

→ If it works, great! We solved the problem!! 🎉 (You can skip to the section on the bottom on how to use the app)

→ If you get the same error message, read on:

If the images haven't loaded in the 1.0.1 version it will most likely going to crash when you try to do anything on it, so read on:

Let go back to the C drive

We are gonna move this somewhere else, if you have a hard drive, paste it to your hard drive, if you have another drive on your pc, you can move it to the other drive. BUT DO NOT MOVE IT TO YOUR DESKTOP!!!! Because we practice good computer hygiene 🙏

Once you've moved everything away, open it back up and try to install it again in your new file location

→ If it works, great! We solved the problem!! 🎉 (You can skip to the section on the bottom on how to use the app)

→ If you still get the same error message, I will send my portfolio to Paper Games to be a software developer in their office and write a new app

Once you get it running *fingers crossed* move the entire folder back to your C drive if you moved it to your hard drive, unless your hard drive is plugged in all the time.

If for whatever reason you get the "access to the path is denied" error message, try the right click and select the "Run as administrator" option.

For easy access:

Go onto your desktop, or wherever you want to access it from quickly and paste shortcut!! Remember it's the shortcut!!

───── ⑅ ♡ ⑅ ─────

How to use the app

The UI has changed a little since the original one, but it's easy to navigate.

Change the language to English, it should reboot the app

From here it's self explanatory

For good computer hygiene you might want to double check where the wallpapers are stored and change directory if needed.

If you're like me and have 2 monitors, this is what it'll look like with the wallpapers applied and the game opened, looks like I need a 3rd monitor for Shen Xinghui ⭐

(Desktop icons should show up, I just don't have icons on the desktop)

───── ⑅ ♡ ⑅ ─────

If you still have problems, check your PC specifications against the following that were recommended on the official site:

System: Windows10 or above

RAM: 1024MB or above

Processor: 1.66Hz Intel i5 or above

Graphics: HD Graphics 4000 or above

DirectX: 10

Secret third thing: you might be able to run it and have the lovely wallpapers but it suddenly goes glitchy or black screen... that's because of the faulty app, I've seen people mention it on weibo, it's not just you 😔

───── ⑅ ♡ ⑅ ─────

Feel free to drop me an ask with images if you still run into problems, hope this helps, until next time~ (✿◠‿◠)

Check out this tag for already answered questions #/wallpaper woes

[writingquestionsanswered]

I'm honestly rather new to writing.

English isn't my first language but I've been pretty much teaching the language to myself through interacting with other English speakers and so on.

I feel like I'm missing a lot of words in my vocabulary that could lift a story up to a better level of reading.

And, probably my biggest problem, I don't know how and where to start writing. How to come up with a plot or how to find inspiration. I'm incredibly motivated but I feel like I don't know where to start.

Since I want to write horror, as it's probably the thing I read and watch the most, I bought a few English horror books to study the ways of writing, words and plot build up. I also started watching analog horror Videos on YouTube to improve my plots yet I often feel like my head is empty despite all those attempts at improving.

I know this is a lot and I'm really sorry for it, but is there any way I could genuinely try and get more into writing as well as to improve the things I mentioned above?

Want to Write But Head Feels Empty

I want to start by saying I never would have guessed English wasn't your first language if you hadn't told me. You have a better grasp on it than a lot of native speakers, so I don't think you have to worry a whole lot about your vocabulary. You're not further behind in that sense than most other new writers. You can check out my posts Improving Vocab and 10 Tips for Improving Your Grammar Vocab for help with that, though.

Since where you're really struggling is with coming up with ideas and plots, what I would recommend is starting with writing prompts. You can find writing prompts all over--on tumblr, various web sites and forums, and even in books. If you Google "horror writing prompts" a ton of options come up.

Writing prompts are a great way to ease yourself into writing when you're struggling to come up with ideas and prompts. Much like fan-fiction (which is another option I'll get to in a minute), writing prompts are almost like training wheels for writers. They let you do the actual writing without having to worry about the initial ideas. And prompts are super flexible... you can interpret them figuratively or literally, you can combine multiple prompts together, or use what you like from a few different prompts. Whatever works for you. The key is to just open your mind and let it carry you wherever it wants to. Don't stress about it being good or making sense. You're not worried about quality or form, just taking those ideas and forming them into *something*. (And, side note: there are also plot generators that will give you more than just a writing prompt, so that's worth trying, too.)

I do also want to address fan-fiction as being another great way to practice writing when plots and ideas escape you. Since you want to write horror, think of a favorite horror movie, TV show, book, or video game and write a story set in that world. Flesh out a scene or moment that you liked that didn't go far enough in canon. Give a character a different moment or ending. You can even create an original character and drop them into the story to see what happens. Once again, this allows you to focus on the actual writing without having to start from scratch with ideas.

I hope something here works for you! ♥

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[xiangqiankua]

I finally really truly registered to take the TOCFL (I had signed up for a free pilot test last year but when I went to make the deposit to confirm my slot, everything for Band B & C were already full, alas). I stopped taking formal classes a year ago, also stopped private tutoring, and had been lazily coasting along reading manga, scrolling Taiwanese social media, and occasionally listening to a podcast. Then I decided to apply for grad school.

Scared that having to read anything scholarly and of length in Chinese on a regular basis would make my brain combust, I applied to a program that apparently has enough English classes to graduate. Upon further investigation, many of the interesting ones are in Chinese. Strangely, to take classes in Chinese the department only requires a proficiency certificate equivalent to A2 level. I attached a transcript from my last language center class (around C1), but if I get accepted I figure I ought to have a TOCFL certificate, and if I don't, I'll definitely need one to apply for programs taught entirely in Chinese later.

I registered for Band B because I think I still read too slowly for Band C, plus they only play the listening passages once and I find listening to text being read in a newscaster style (vs conversational tone) extremely challenging. (I asked a teacher once what to do about this and she said listen to more Chinese news, because even the Taiwanese news tends to have a more informal tone.) The exam is in about a month, so I need a plan of action. I had already started reviewing the word list for TOCFL 4, which is 5000 words but sometimes just the same character 4 times in a row, each with a different part of speech:

It's been kind of torturous because it's in alphabetical order, on the other hand it's good because it gives me pause as to whether I would really be able to make the correct choice between 規定、規矩、規律 and 規則 on a fill-in-the-blank question. So far all the words are familiar except some unexpected ones on feudalism and sending telegrams, but familiar and intimate are two different things so if I don't know the precise definition immediately I've been looking it up, along with examples sentences. My current goal is to finish going through the word list, try all the previous exams available on the TOCFL site to practice timing myself, and also find some more ideal listening content (for now I could go back to the audio files for 當代中文5 that I never got through properly). I also want to look up the most commonly used 成語 because they aren't included on the word list but surely they'll appear on the exam. Ideally I should also try to do more relevant reading (news articles, perhaps), but we'll see how far I actually get with that. I think I also need to do this studying at the beginning of the day, being a great procrastinator.

My dream scenario is that Band B turns out to be a breeze and makes me confident enough to take Band C! (Edit- I know the reading/listening test is electronic and apparently adjusts itself to your level. Maybe whatever level one selects at registration is simply the one it starts with?) Realistically though, I read one anecdote online from a guy complaining that he passed HSK 6 and then only squeaked in at TOCFL 3. Hence my apprehension and need for a study plan for test taking. Anyone else taken TOCFL lately?

[ink-and-dagger]

HIII god I never use this app but I really needed to tell you how much I love your work, you are my new inspiration as an aspiring writer ily 😭 Your Silco fic really stuck with me, I've been reading fan works for like 8 years and I never felt so many emotions reading something on that site I'm not kidding, it's *chef kiss*, you are an incredible writer I hope you know that 🤍 On the other hand, if you don't mind I wanted to get an insight on how you work and what your writing process is with the characters and everything. I've been wanting to start writing for so long but never know how to start, mainly because I don't know how to get characters to stay in character and not make them feel OOC (and bc English is not my main language 🥲). I envy that a lot from many authors such as yourself and I could only hope for that level of skill, it's amazing 🥺 That's all, I'll be here waiting to read more of your works about anything or from any fandom really, you are great! Thank you in advance :) <3

Holy moly those are some huge compliments 😭 thank you so much ❤️ I’m so glad my story struck a chord with you.

I think you're literally incredible for even being able to contemplate writing a fic in a language that isn't your mother tongue. My personal belief is that story > writing. There are plenty of books out there that are beautifully written and boring as ass. There are also lots of books that have moved people to tears despite being averagely written. The words you use are merely a tool to communicate your story, and if your readers are invested in the world and characters you've created, then they will forgive imperfect writing.

I've answered a few writing questions in the past that might be of use/interest to you. I'll link them below:

How I plot my stories

How I came up with the outline for DWM

How to stop obsessing over edits

But in terms of your concerns around characterisation – I know it sounds wildly obvious... but you just kinda have to make sure you know that character inside and out.

It helps to build some kind of dossier alongside your outline that you can use as a reference sheet. This can contain whatever information you want, but here are some ideas to get you started:

Personality traits [both good and bad]

Likes and Dislikes

Special Skills/Abilities [plus anything they're rubbish at]

Fears and Desires

Important Relationships [do they have family and/or friends?]

It's also super important to familiarise yourself with the little details too. Real, relatable people don't walk around with their 'biggest qualities' plastered above their heads for all to see.

If you asked someone who works with me to quickly describe me, they wouldn't say – "Oh that's Inky. She values loyalty, her zodiac sign is Virgo, and she has mummy&daddy issues."

They'd more likely say something along the lines of – "Oh that's Inky. She's very friendly, likes to work with her AirPods in, and tends to fall over a lot."

It's these little details that flesh out a character and make them feel more real.

Try and envision your character in different mundane situations. What pizza would they order? How would they react to slow wi-fi? If their favourite song came on the radio whilst they were alone would they sing and dance? If they found money on the street what would they do?

A practical tip whilst writing is to read their dialogue out loud as them. Does it sound right? Can you hear them saying it? Think about their language and speech patterns. Think about what they're trying to communicate, but also whether they're attempting to withhold anything.

And lastly in terms of getting started writing...

I'm sorry my friend. The only way to start is to start...

I recently looked back at some old writing files from when I first began writing as an adult in late 2019. And believe me when I tell you that it has all the elegance of Donald trump in a pair of kitten heels. It’s awful.

But that’s okay. Because I knew when I was writing it that it was for my eyes only, and that I’d look back on it one day and think "wowee I've improved a butt ton!" And of course I was completely correct because I'm a Virgo and also INFJ so 💁🏻‍♀️

My point is, writing is a skill, and skills need to be practiced and honed. You have to allow yourself to be shit first, or you will never get good.

Open up a blank file and write a sentence. Doesn't matter what it is. Just write it. Save it in a private file just for you. Create a safe place where you can learn and make mistakes without any pressure.

And remember that even seasoned authors don't produce perfect writing from the get go. You put down a rough draft first. Then you go through and make it more coherent. Then fill in any gaps you left. Then tweak the order of events. Then finesse the language etc etc etc... It's a multi-step process, just like painting a picture. There's no point in attempting to add lighting and shade on top of a pencil sketch that doesn't even have any base colour on it yet.

WOW I'm rambling. I'm gonna wrap up, but as you can tell this is a topic I'm passionate about, and I'm more than happy to answer any more questions you might have!

I hope this is helpful in some way <3

[sizhui]

Honestly i do see your point with the post about fanfiction, but on the other hand having been in fandom spaces since very young (probably too young to be honest) I've just come to absolutely distrust fanfic writers (especially on ao3 because well. I'm sure you're well aware of the culture on that site) because on multiple occasions i have been hit by random unexpected graphic (very clearly fetishistic) depictions of abuse in works that seemed pretty solid otherwise based on the summary alone; incest fans are especially egregious for including that aspect with no warning whatsoever in what seems like an otherwise interesting story about two brothers from the summary alone, so like... as much as i agree that we don't need to tag every single generally harmless detail of a story because it significantly dumbs it down and ruins the experience it's also true that whenever i have branched out and tried reading stories that seemed interesting from the summary alone and had a minimal amount of tags i ended up getting bitten by one of my biggest triggers so i feel like... i might as well just read actual published literature (which i do regularly for fun and for school) when seeking something more challenging and with unexpected elements since the culture around fanfiction is just too rancid for me to trust fic writers to tag the appropriate amount and not just deliberately hide "problematic" (=abuse fetish) elements to jumpscare people for fun. So it's like yeah you have a point but it's a bit of a conundrum since a lot of fic writers aren't actually into this to say anything constructive. I'm sorry if it's worded badly English isn't my first language and my tone sometimes doesn't come off great through text so I'm not accusing you of anything or being confrontational. Anyway i hope you have a good day o7

I get you honestly, but I purposefully didn't touch upon the toxic, abusive CULTURE around fanfic and ao3 which actively protects harmful fetishizers and real abusers too - because that's a whole other very serious conversation to be had. My post sought to discuss fanfic purely as a type of watered-down, half-premade story and how it affects the way readers interact with original fiction. I did not discuss the huge problems with illegal content being hosted on fanfic sites because to do that i would have to sit down and write for a long time with utmost concentration, which I have neither time nor will for rn.

I will however say that if my post came off as "keep reading solely fanfic, just without tags, to chaenge yourself" then i failed to express myself correctly. I absolutely meant to convey that the primary focus of every reader should be published original fiction and nonfiction, because the things you can get out of them you won't find in any fic, since the fic culture and system is already established and truthfully a 3 note post will never affect it.

However, though I too havr major triggers, I am not averse to the practice of writing fanfic. I firmly believe that there are just as many perverse individuals among writers of original stories as there are among fanfic writers - abuse fetishism isn't unique to people who write about cartoons, they just got themselves a huge website where they can publish their works for free and expose an audience to it, so the problem gapes open and very obvious. However, there are thousands of people who use writing as outlets for their sick sexual fantasies who have never touched fandom spaces - it's just that you'll more rarely stumble upon their works because it's not as easy to publish them professionally (though look at shit like a song of ice and fire... i find it just as distasteful as some third grade torture porn fic) in conclusion, I don't really think that fandom spaces breed weirdos, i think they just give them an outlet and a spotlight. I may be biased because i've been into writing character studies and alternate endings to stories i liked since i was young, i just dont elevate those so much and call them proper literature and hide behind them like annoying ao3 aunties do.

[songsofbloodandwater]

People are seriously sleeping on the White Numen Tarot, and Numen theory in general.

If you consider yourself to be an animistic witch or tarot reader (or both), this post is for you. The White Numen Tarot by AlbaBG is a tarot deck where the imagery is focused on the animals, not the people, and specifically based on the concept of numen as described by the author of El Animal Divino (1985), a wonderful piece on the philosophy of religion.

In El Animal Divino (The Divine Animal), Gustavo Bueno identifies Numen as the "center of Will and Intelligence", and adds,

"in classical latin sources, [numen] references a center of effective and potent desire. [...] In the classics, many times, instead of will itself, it reflects the corporeal expression of will, specifically the nodding of the head that expresses willingness (numine capitum). It also represents the Affirmation or Willingness of the Gods (numine deorum), or the Gods themselves (simulacra numinum being the Statues of the Gods), or wild genii (silvarum numina fauni)".

The tarot deck reflects this by adding two extra cards on the deck, "White Numen" and "Black Numen". While both signify the presence of numen influencing the situation, which card is pulled indicates the nature of said influence into the situation, whether it is creative or destructive, additive or corrosive, enlightening or obscuring.

If you add into that the imagery of each animal and their meaning, their actions and how that relates back to the concept of numen (in this case, signified by specific animals with specific associations doing specific actions in each card) you can get very deep messages that are surprisingly easy to read. Add in any UPGs that you may have (associations of certain animals to particular Gods or Spirits, or just in regards to omens and signs) and you get even more possible meanings that are, again, deep yet very clear, particularly for more seasoned practitioners.

And I think that's a very useful tool to utilize if you want to take into account not just the human influences over a situation, but also the non-human, the divine, the spirits, and anything and everything numen. You can choose to read the animal meanings metaphorically (if no Numen card shows up in your reading) or literally (as in, an omen, a sign or a divine message, if one of the two, or both, Numen cards show up in your reading). It puts the reading into perspective to include the wider spiritual ecosystem and I just think that's neat.

Honestly, just the fact it introduced me to El Animal Divino is great by itself, because it's a book that has helped to put into words and deepen my understanding of religion in general, but also specifically of animal cults and how they relate to human and non-human spirits. But it doesn't stop there, having the deck allows you to identify and even communicate with said numen and thus it's one of the many ways to apply the theory of the book, into magical practice. It's a tool with a really cool theory behind it that is laid out in the open for anyone who may want to take it and adapt it into their practice.

The only problem? I don't know if the book has an english translation. So far i've only been able to find it in spanish, but hey, it's definitely worth at least an attemp at translation on any of the many translation sites you can find online.

[drfaustus]

hey, my name is lynne. i saw a screenshot of one of your posts on pinterest and i was so excited because i recently got into Marlowe, and your profile looked like you knew the guy’s works well.

i joined tumblr just to talk to you for a sec. do you know if there are any good marlowe annotations i can buy? im pretty young and its difficult for me to understand most of his writing. i read Dr faustus and Hero & leander so far but it was definitely a struggle

and just any other tips for reading his work? what order, stuff to know, whatever?

thanks dude

hey!! it’s so exciting to hear you’re getting into marlowe! ☺️ faustus and hero and leander were a great place to start. early modern english is difficult to read when you’re not used to it so congrats on getting this far! i promise it gets easier with practice.

my answer has turned out quite long so i'm going to put it under a keep reading to avoid clogging my follower's dashboards, you can just click "keep reading" to expand the post to see it.

in terms of a reading order going forward, i’d suggest you continue on with edward ii, then if you want to keep going you can go to the jew of malta and tamburlaine. edward ii is up there with faustus in terms of how often it gets read, so there will be more information online if you get stuck.

my best advice is to start with reading a summary of the play, preferably act by act, before reading the actual play. it does mean you’ll be spoiling yourself but doing this was so useful for me when i was getting used to reading early modern plays because you already have the base understanding of the plot which takes away the stress of having to figure that out on top of the difficult language. wikipedia often has good summaries, or you can use a site like sparknotes or litcharts if you find wikipedia isn't helpful enough. the easiest way to find them is to just look up "(play title) summary" and find one that helps you.

unlike shakespeare there sadly aren’t many productions of marlowe’s work available to watch online, or else i’d suggest that too. (if you want to get into shakespeare that's also a good tactic for reading his work.)

now for your question about annotated editions, i can offer you two suggestions based on my personal experience. these are the only two academic editions of marlowe's plays that i have read.

1. new mermaids: i was assigned the christopher marlowe four plays edition for my british literature 1 class when i was first reading marlowe and i found the footnotes helpful. they have also published individual editions of each play. i am confident in this one's academic legitimacy since my professor chose to assign it to us for class. if you can get your hands on this one i'd recommend it.

2. oxford english drama: i used this edition to write my undergraduate thesis on edward ii and found the annotations to also be useful, but unlike the mermaid editions this one has endnotes which means you'll have to be flipping back and forth to read the notes. (that might sound weirdly specific but i have a grudge against endnotes... they're so annoying) but it is still a great edition and i bought this one in person at barnes and noble so it might be easier to find (but don't quote me on that).

in terms of background information i could turn this post into a novel getting into that for you. if you have any specific question about marlowe or early modern england generally shoot them at me. beyond that, the introduction to most academic editions like the ones i suggested should have helpful context that will help with reading.

enjoy!

[jordanincambodia]

Eagle has landed!

Sua-sdei (hello)! Traveling to Cambodia, or Kampuchea, as Khmer people call it, has been a wild ride- and not just because of the terrifying lack of regard for stop signs in Phnom Penh. Neither has it been due to the street food, buzzing mosquitoes, or even the raging thunderstorms that faithfully show up every day around 5 pm (The words "Is that hail?" excitedly left the mouth of my fellow intern Brendan as we heard our first rain. Nah Brendan, it's just rain).

The flight from LAX to Incheon to Phnom Penh airport, while smooth, left Brendan and I rather tired, but life was not done with us yet. Upon being picked up from the airport by our EMI contact, Josiah, our car ran out of gas at a red stoplight (the one time anyone in a vehicle followed the rules that night), so Josiah and I walked several kilometers to fill plastic bottles with red gasoline, also riding a tuk-tuk somewhere during the journey. After two trips to the gas station, the car started up, and we headed off to our home in the Sensok district.

Orientation lasted from June 21 to last Monday, and while a whirlwind, I learned many great things about EMI and Cambodia. Aside from great topics like good missions practices, Khmer culture, and EMI project cycle, we learned about why EMI exists, how it has improved, and what our goals are. The office is already beginning to feel like a family, since we do devotions every morning, eat lunch, and do some late afternoon activities together.

I've also reached greeting-level of proficiency in Khmer (pronounced kmai), which I would consider level negative one. English letters don't quite do the Khmer consonants and vowels correctly, and I've found I don't need to tell many jokes here, because if I want to be funny, I just start speaking Khmer. That said, I'm getting plenty of encouragement to continue my studies and may even be conversation-capable by August, if I keep working at it.

For those of you that have made it this far, I'd like to mention that I have been working too. The first project that I have been assigned work for is the Hope International School traffic project. Basically, the school has crazy traffic during pickup times and has requested EMI design the pickup area to minimize congestion. I had the easy first task of dimensioning traffic design plans to prepare it for construction. I also successfully made my first site water demand estimate for YWAM Pailin yesterday using a wonderful Excel spreadsheet; In English, I figured out how much water and wastewater a site might use if it was built. My supervising engineer is hoping to push me towards WASH work, but I'm definitely open to any kind of work the office needs done.

There is so much more that I want to write about, but I'll have to cut it short so I can study Khmer and hopeeefully stop making people laugh with it. Thank you for reading and keeping up with my Cambodia trip. Juub knea pel kraoy (see you later)!

Jord

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Language Learning Challenge, Days 3-6

So I haven't done like anything for this challenge in the past few days (other than sing along to Tini songs a whole bunch--and that's more daily routine than anything, so I don't think it really counts). Hopefully I'll be able to rally over the next few weeks and do some more practice, but I'm trying to go easy on myself right now. After all, building habits is tough and all that! sighs, sleepy

3: Are there any apps you use to learn languages?

Spotify may not be intended for language learning, but, at least when it comes to Spanish, there's a whole lot of media (like music & podcasts!) on the app to practice with. Same situation for Netflix (so many shows have Spanish sub/dub!) and also for Webtoon--on Webtoon, if you change your content language to Spanish, there's less of a selection, I think, but still plenty to read! And there are other content languages available for folks who are learning others :)

4: How do you improve your listening skills?

Listening is my least favorite skill--speaking is a close second, though--because I have issues with processing audio in any language. However, if I listen to songs enough times (which of course I do, as I pretty much live off of Spotify), I start to pick out words & string sentences together. Since I listen to so much music in Spanish anyway, it's pretty good practice for me! I’m basically sneaking listening practice into my music time like vegetables into dessert. JENESAISPOP also has a podcast on Spotify called Revelación o Timo, and I've used that one as part of Spanish homework assignments a couple of times! I'll probably try to get back into it this month :)

5: How do you improve or practice your speaking skills?

I'm SO awkward about speaking in Spanish, but it's way easier when I talk to myself--luckily, I do that all the time, too. So I'll just have myself switch my English babbling over to Spanish (or Spanish with random English words thrown in when I don't feel like putting in the mental effort to practice circumlocution).

A side note: circumlocution is great for language practice! We learned about it in one of my classes, and the idea is basically that you describe or "talk around" a word you don't know in a language that's new to you. It's sort of like charades? I’ve found it really helps with practicing vocabulary, along with developing communication skills in a new language.

6: Are there any free online sources you use to learn languages?

JeneSaisPop (the content is in Spanish I swear!!), MondoSonoro, and IndieHoy are three sites with content in Spanish that I love keeping up with! I already enjoy music reviews in English, and these are sites that teach me new words & phrases in Spanish (and introduce me to new Spanish-language music!) as a bonus :) I follow Indiehoy on Instagram, too, so I end up microdosing on Spanish practice whenever I scroll through my feed!

SpanishDict is my go-to site for learning new words and finding the words I'm looking for when I'm working in Spanish--they have really detailed definitions that are super helpful for understanding unique, uncommon uses of words, though they don't always account for slang terms.

Today's Practice

Since I've been listening to "Pronto" by Repion nonstop like the edgyboy I am, I'll try to work on learning the lyrics over the next few days :) That chorus would be really fun for karaoke!

Word/Phrase of the Day

la pared -- wall

La mesa está contra la pared.

[anglerflsh]

ayy saw your last post, any good sites for reading up on witchhunting practices and/ or the 1600s? it seems really neat! also feel free to infodump here, i love your!! little rambly-posts theyre so fun :D

oh i would list a bibliography here but I'm just going to recommend going on a wikipedia dive, especially the reference links at the bottom of articles! Also "the 1600s" is very vague but I'm assuming you mean in colonial america and not like the thirty years war or something so, for that my source was Italian Historian Alessandro Barbero but his documentaries are you know. In Italian.

I don't have the time to infodump here but I have share my top three fun facts about this: One, the reason why moles were considered witch's marks was because it was believed that witches fed their familiars their own blood, and those spots where scars from that (which is also why they checked if it bled. When it didn't it was because all the blood had already been sucked dry from the familiar) Two, the entire story about Salem started form the eleven-something year old daughters of the town preacher accusing their house slave of tormenting them in the night. That slave, called Tituba, confessed to having "signed satan's book" and also offered to name every other witch in the place, and about 19 people got arrested and hanged despite them never confessing Three, one of the tests was also the practice of making a supposed witch recite the padre nostro (i think in english it's the "our father who art in heaven" one) without a single mistake. I think this one is fun because my elementary school did that too with me and my then-classmates!

+bonus fact in my region of italy witches are called Strie or Masce and they're generally believed to have shapeshifting powers. And apparently my great-grandfather on my grandmother's side participated in hunts against them? Allegedly, because my mother told me but she's not that reliable

[atalho-s]

Light Up The Dark

Part 2 | We are accidents waiting to happen

pairing: bartender!tom x famous!reader

warnings: smut +18 miniors dni, swear words?, drinking, let me know if anything else!

words: 5.0 k

a/n: english it’s not my first language, so i’m sorry for any mistake! I don’t have a taglist yet, but if you want to be tagged in the next chapters let me know!! 

PART 2 if you want to read part 1 click here! 

It was already Saturday. The day Y/n took for herself. Writing was extraordinary, but she loved having a day off to take care of herself. She spent the day doing things she enjoyed, whether it was lying in bed watching a movie or trying to cook something.

After the fateful day of writer's block she started writing like crazy, so she didn't feel guilty about taking a day off without thinking about her characters and how they would get out of the challenges she had created for them.

The fateful day. For some reason she kept thinking about that damned Brit with that accent. For a moment she'd been scared that she'd been seen by paparazzi hanging out with the mysterious bartender, or even some picture of him leaving her apartment. But nothing came out in the news on the gossip sites, which made her relieved.

As much as she deserved to have fun once in a while and wasn't doing anything wrong, she still didn't want to bring attention to herself and even less to a guy who wasn't even famous. She was afraid to put anyone who wasn't famous in the media. Fear that one day suddenly, this person might be persecuted because of her.

Anyway, it had just been a crazy night. Nothing much. And she didn't intend to see him again. So she had nothing to worry about.

Sitting down in the kitchen counter with her familiar cup of coffee she got lost in some thoughts. Why hadn't she stopped thinking about him ever since? It had been a great night, but that was all. She didn't even know him well.

Maybe it was because her creative block had been broken after being with him. But obviously it was just a coincidence. She had just felt inspired after a distraction.

She shook his head away from the thoughts and placed the cup in the sink. She took a deep breath and thought about what to do next. But before she could think of anything else her cell phone started ringing on the counter. She was almost jump by the sudden sound, seeing the screen indicating that it was Milla, her agent, who had become one of her best friends.

- Hi Mil! - she said after sliding the screen.

- Good morning baby. - she said on the other end of the line. - Ready for the party?

- Party? What a party? - Y/n asked confused starting to wash the small amount ofdishes she had soiled.

- How you don't know? I thought I sent you the invitation on your email and I even sent you a message!

- Bestie, I haven't seen my email or message for days. I was super focused on the book, my writer's block finally went away.

- Really? I knew that would go away! You were worried for nothing. What did you do to go back to writing? - Milla asked and Y/n smiled a little.

- Well... I just went out to chill out a bit...Nothing much.

- Y/n getting out on weekdays? And even on the days you're writing a book? That's what I call grow. - she said and Y/n rolled her eyes laughing. - I'm even afraid to invite you to parties, because I know when you're writing you hate to go out... But it's good to know that you're getting out of your routine a little...

- Yeah, sometimes it's good to breathe new air. - Y/n replied drying his hands on a towel. - But what party are you talking about?

- A party of none other than Emma Brown. - Y/n snorted. Emma Brown was a great actress who to tell the truth she didn't know much, she only knew her from a couple of her movies, but other than that she didn't know much about her.

But what she did know was that she had some also famous friends of questionable taste. They were those famous people who only knew about money, women, cars and mansions. But she was tipped for a theatrical adaptation of one of her books and she wanted everything to come out perfect. She was very afraid the movie would end up ruining her work.

- Do I really have to go? - She asked in a tearful voice.

- Yes you have! It's going to be a really fancy birthday party for her, all the famous people in the industry are going to be there. You know you have to socialize with these people. Who knows, you can make some important friendships...

- Milla... I don't know... I don't need important friendships. I don't need anyone to stand up or approach others for interest.

- I know you don't need anyone for that... I just meant that you're very isolated, you need to make connections, understand? I know it's hard because you hate all that fame and stuff. But if you want the adaptation of your story to be good, there's no way... Besides, one of the great directors you left me on the list to research will be there too. So it would be really cool to kill two birds with one stone. - Milla said and Y/n sighed. She was right, if she wanted everything to work out she had to at least have a conversation with these people. It would be weird to refuse Emma's invitation to her birthday. It would just show that she was uninterested.

- Okay... You won ok? - She said and Milla gave an excited squeal. - But I won't stay long!

- Okay, okay... Just for you to go is great! Andrew will be there shortly for you to choose a dress. -Andrew was her stylist and she practically jumped every time Y/n had an important event, because it was rare for her to go. Good thing he didn't just have her as a client, because otherwise he'd be bored out of his mind for a long time.

- Okay Mil, thank you... I love you! - She said and Milla said goodbye hanging up the phone.

It was late afternoon when Andrew arrived at her apartment with several suitcases and bags in both hands. He really had brought up thousands of options. But Y/n ended up choosing a slightly shiny black dress that went just above the knee with a V-neck. Something cute, but nothing too fancy.

He did her makeup. Which wasn't too heavy either, as she hated things that were too heavy on her face. Finally she put on a mid-heeled sandal in the same color as the dress and her sparkly earrings. Before Andrew left her apartment satisfied with the result.

It was almost 7:30 pm when a black car that would take her to the party location arrived in front of her building and she got out enter the backseat right after. She was apprehensive. She hated socializing to tell the truth. Large crowds and cameras really made her anxious.

After almost 20 minutes the car stopped in front of what appeared to be a large gate. Several paparazzi showed up and started taking pictures of her car surrounding her or even tapping on the window a little, asking her if she could talk to them. Which she obviously ignored. The driver introduced himself to the doorman and he opened the gate letting the car pass and stop in front of a luxurious mansion.

Some people were coming in and others were standing in front talking. She saw that there were some familiar faces of the media. Actresses, actors, singers, famous people of every imaginable type.

She opened the car door and walked out towards the large entrance. She smiled at a few people, nodding her head as she passed and found herself in a crowd of people as she entered the place. There really were a lot of people, despite the place being even bigger inside. Many with fancy drinks in hand and chatting. A song playing on the background.

She walked deeper into the room and took a quick look around trying to find the birthday girl. After a few minutes she found her near one of the sofas. Y/n walked over and stopped beside her, causing Emma to stop her conversation with two more people and look at her.

- Happy Birthday! - Y/n said in the friendliest way possible and Emma smirked and hugged her lightly afterwards.

- Thank you! Glad you came! - she said, breaking out of the hug after a few seconds.

- Your party is very beautiful, I loved the decoration. - Y/n said looking around. Indeed Emma had decorated the place in a simple way, but at the same time fancy and beautiful.

- Oh thank you... - she said, still smiling. - I'm very happy that you accepted my invitation, we have a lot to talk about since maybe we'll work together, right?

- No problem, obviously I would come... - Y/n said and almost punched herself because she was very fake in saying that. - But we really have to talk!

- Well, I was talking to Jim just now... I can give you his number later... He's a great director and I think it would be great for your adaptation... - Emma said and Y/n thought that she was really interested in that adaptation, because she was even talking to the possible renowned director, which surprised her. She thought Emma was a little more oblivious to her books and even movie stuff. She thought she was one of those famous actresses who expected others to come after her, not being interested in the work itself, but only on the fame and money. - We love your book! I think it has great potential for a grand adaptation.

- Wow, that is good to hear! Thanks a lot! - Y/n said sincerely this time. - I'll love talking to him too...

- Sure! - She looked behind Y/n and motioned to someone from far away. - Hey Jim! You can come here? - She asked speaking loudly for him to hear and Y/n turned around watching the director approaching after saying goodbye to someone. He wasn't much older than she thought, maybe in his early thirties, he wore a small beard that fit his face and short hair, but with curls that jutted out around his head. -That's Y/n... Y/n that's Jim...-Emma said when he got in front of her and Jim held out his hand with a smile.

- Nice to meet Y/n, we finally met... - he said and Y/n shook his hand also smiling.

- Nice to meet you Jim! - She said and Emma sat in one of the armchairs indicating for the two to sit, which they did next.

- Do you two want something to drink? Champagne?- Emma asked and they both accepted as she motioned for someone from far away to bring them.

- Well, I found your book very intriguing Y/n... I can say I haven't slept for a while... - Jim said laughing a little and Y/n smiled. - It's a very well written story, I loved the plots and it has a great resolution. I think I would make a good 2 hour movie with all this material... - he said and Y/n paid attention until something took her a little out of focus. Something not. Somebody.

It was the waiter, and not just any waiter. It was Tom. He came into her vision and she couldn't believe what she was seeing. Maybe it was a mirage or she was mistaking him for someone else. But when he approached she was sure it was him. He came with a tray with drinks in one hand. He was wering a white dress shirt, with black pants. The typical pattern of a fancy party waiter. But he was beautiful. Y/n felt a shiver for a moment and tried to hide it by looking back at Jim who was still talking about his plans for the possible movie.

Maybe Tom didn't even remember her. She was just a one-night stand, he should do that with a lot of girls out there, so it wasn't something new to him. As soon as he arrived, he handed one of the glasses to Emma beside her and Y/n felt her breath quicken a little. She didn't know why she was so nervous. It was just a waiter she had slept with a few days ago.

- Excuse me... - he said and Y/n looked up at him quickly seeing that he was right in front of him. -Here it is miss...-he said looking her in the eyes and then winking at her, wich almost make her shrink in her chair. He held out the tray for her to take one of the glasses and she did, looking away at Jim.

- So, what do you think? - Jim asked taking the glass from the tray and Y/n took a sip of his surprise drink.

- Sorry? - She asked guiltily for having been distracted.

- About us meeting and having a meeting next week? That way I can show you my idea better. - he said and Y/n smiled.

- Of course, that would be great! - she said and Tom walked away not looking in her direction again, which left her disappointed for a second. She would going to love looking into those eyes again.

- Perfect! - Jim replied excitedly and started talking about other things as well as Emma.

They talked for almost an hour, until Emma went to talk to other people and Jim said he was leaving as he had some work in the morning. Y/n sat for a while and finished drinking the last of her champagne and placed it on the table in front of her.

She thought about leaving. She had already done the important interactions for the night. So, she had no reason to stay there. But she kept thinking about the damn waiter. Would it be weird to go talk to him? Maybe just say hi? But she doubted he would want to talk to her. Besides, he was working. She didn't want to get in his way.

Getting up from her chair and straightening her dress, she forced her steps towards the exit, but stopped midway as she saw Tom walking into what appeared to be the kitchen with the tray tucked under his arm. She looked at the exit door and sighed. Okay, if she went to him just to say hi, it wouldn't hurt would it?

Y/n turned and headed in the direction that Tom had gone. She couldn't even believe she was doing it this. She would looked ridiculous in his eyes. But she choose to ignore the little voice of reason again. Passing by a few people, and walking out into a empty hallway, she opening a single door at end. She closed in behind her and turned to see that Tom was on his back piling some boxes in a corner. His muscles in that outfit made her feel tempted somehow, so she swallowed hard. He turned at the sound of the door closing and looked at her with a mixture of confusion and curiosity.

- Looking for something madam? - He asked with a smirk.

- Actually... - Y/n thought of some excuse, maybe it would be better, so it would seem that she was there for something else and not for him. - Yeah... I was looking for the bathroom, I think I take the wrong direction...

- Yeah...Actually, the bathroom is on the other side of the hallway... - he said leaning against the kitchen counter and looking her up and down, making her feel completely vulnerable. After his eyes roamed her legs and bust, they came to her face and he grinned.

- Okay, I'll... - Y/n started saying and turned around taking a few steps. But she stopped midway, closing his eyes, tearing himself apart from the inside out of embarrassment. She turned around again seeing that he was still watching her, now with his arms crossed over his chest, wondering what she would do next. - You remember me don't you? - She asked fearfully.

- Of course I remember darling... - he said, practically intensifying his accent in that nickname that was so perfect in his voice. Y/n took a few steps forward also crossing her arms. - How could I forget the famous writer Y/n?- He raised an eyebrow and she rolled her eyes with his last sentence.

- It really was an...- She looked at her feet trying to find a word. - Interesting night… - she finally said and he chuckled, making her look up.

- Very interesting indeed... - he said putting his hands in his front pockets, pulling himself away from the counter and heading towards her. Y/n wanted to say goodbye and leave, run away as fast as possible. But she couldn't, every move he did was too tempting, so she just stood there watching him get closer and closer to her. He stopped in front of her and looked into her eyes, smiling slightly.

- What are you doing here? Do you work as a waiter at parties too? - Y/n asked curiously.

- My boss sometimes receives proposals for us to work at these rich parties... - he said with a shrug.

- Oh... Nice... - she said crossing her arms. - Well...Now I really have to go... - she said trying to get away from it one last time.

- Why did you really come here love? -Tom asked tilting his head a little to the side and she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

- I told you, I was looking for the bathroom. -Y/n looked at his face trying to be firm, but saw that he still wore that smirk. Why did he have to be so confident like that?

- Oh sure... Just like you also looked for some excuse that day for me to leave, but failed miserably?- he asked making a thoughtful face and she still hadn't decided if she wanted to slap him or kiss him.

- Why did you leave without saying goodbye tho? - She asked ignoring what he had said.

- So that's why you came after me? Are you hurt that I didn't leave you a goodbye kiss? - he said pouting.

- Of course not, I just... I don't know, it would be nice to say that you were leaving and that you wouldn't stay for breakfast... - Y/n said looking to the side, avoiding those brown eyes that intimidated her.

- Darling, I'm not that type guy, sorry...

- What type of guy? - she still avoided looking at him.

- The type who stay for breakfeast. -he said taking a hand from her pocket and taking her chin gently, making her look at him. - But if you want some fun I'm at your disposal. -he said and she bit her lower lip lightly making him deviate his eyes towards her lips. - Do you want darling?- he asked quietly and Y/n seemed to be transfixed by her touch. She was surrendered, she couldn't deny it. Maybe even hypnotized.

- I...- she said with a little shaky voice. - I don't know...

- Yes or no?- he asked looking from her lips to her eyes and she felt her breath getting heavy.

- Yes...- she just spoke as a whisper and he smiled satisfied.

- How about you meet me in 15 minutes in the bathroom of the pool house? - He said and she just shook her head slowly. Tom released her chin and backed away slowly, not taking his eyes off her, and then walked away leaving her alone with her heart racing.

Y/n took a deep breath and tried to place herself in what had just happened. Did she really want this? Her mind could try to hear the voice of reason, but it was drowned out by her body's reaction. She wanted to feel him again.

She walked away quickly, passing several people who were talking loudly or who were already drunk. She looked around and saw the door that led to the back side and sneak there, getting out and feeling the slightly chilly night air, closing the sliding door behind her.

She saw the pool that had some people around it and a little further to the right a door that opened into another closed space. Probably the pool house. She walked over there, trying to hide it so no one would see her, and went inside. She closed the front door slowly and headed towards the bathroom.

The place was dark, with only the lights outside. So she was holding her hand into to some stuff until he found the door. She went in and turned on the light. The bathroom was spacious, with a large sink and a huge mirror in front of it. She closed herself off and looked at herself in the reflection.

That was crazy. She had never done that at parties. Not even when she was drunk. And now she was there, looking forward to what might happen. In fact she knew what was going to happen, just as she knew when she invited him up to her apartment that night. But even so, she felt butterflies in her stomach in anticipation.

After almost 10 minutes of waiting she heard the bathroom door open and she turned in the direction, feeling extremely anxious. Tom came in looking over his shoulder and closed the door soon after, looking at her with an opening grin. He locked the door slowly with one hand and came towards her in a hurry.

The next thing she felt was his lips pressing against hers urgently. He kissed her like it was the last thing he would do. Running her tongue over her lips asking permission and Y/n opened it slowly letting him explore her mouth with his burning tongue.

She ran her hand around the back of his neck pulling his hair and he responded by holding her waist tightly. Tom walked forward and she leaned her back against the sink counter. Making him lift her with agility, sitting her down on the cold surface and getting between her legs. She grunted in surprise against his mouth and he broke the kiss for air. Kissing from her neck to her collarbone and she closed her eyes feeling his touch.

- Tom... - she said in a low voice. - You won't get in trouble if you disappear like that? -he now kissed her neckline and squeezed her thigh with desire.

- Not if we're fast darling. -He spoke a bit husky, moving his kisses to her earlobe, biting lightly and she moaned low. - And despite loving your sounds, you will have to be silent. - He looked at her smiling maliciously. - Promise? -He spoke touching her nose with his lightly, looking at her closely, and she nodded making him attack her lips next.

Still kissing her he pulled the hem of her dress up a little and she bit his lip making him smile against the kiss. Her fingers reached her inner thigh and then moved up to her panties. Tom put the fabric aside with one of her fingers and passed one slowly at her entrance feeling her wetness.

- Always ready for me aren't you darling? -He said pulling his mouth away from hers, staying just a few centimeters away from her. She moaned softly again and he smiled as he pulled her fingers away and replaced them around her thighs pulling her closer to the edge of the sink.  He started to finger her really slowly and she bite her lips, trying to control her moaning. Tom keep his pace just watching her face squirm with pleasure. After seconds he removed his delicious fingers making her almost protest out loud, makind him smile even more. If wasn't for the rush he would definitively make his time with you.

Y/n then put his hands on the collar of his shirt and opened the first buttons. Kissing his neck with desire, making him squeeze her thighs in response. Biting her lips he unfastened his belt and then the buttons of his pants pulled them down along with his boxers, revealing his cock. He pulled her in for one more kiss before taking the condom package from his pocket and opening it, meanwhile Y/n was kissing uncovered place she could reach, from his face to his chest, opening more buttons of his shirt.

Tom adjusted the condom on his cock before taking a few thrusts. He moved even closer to her, if that was even possible, and gave her a peck.

- Ready? He spoke softly against her lips and she nodded almost in despair, wanting to feel him inside her more than anything.

He smiled once more and slid his cock easily as she was completely wet. Tom growled low against her ear and Y/n bit her lip so no sound could come out. He started to move, after she was more adjusted to his size, at first slowly and starting to increase his pace with each second.

-Fuck... - he cursed softly against her ear and she pulled the hair from his neck with one hand, while the other squeezed his shoulder. The more he increased the pace she felt as if she were coming off the ground. - So tight darling... - he said between small grunts. - Feels so good...

- Tom... - Y/n spoke and he increased the pace even more making her moan with the sudden sensation of pleasure and he muffled her sounds by sticking his lips on hers.

-Shh… - he said after moving his lips from hers and Y/n tried her best to keep the sounds to herself, but he filled her perfectly and made her feel so good that she couldn't help it. Tom smirked and put his hand over her mouth, covering her moans. - Can't contain yourself? -he said and kissed her neck giving light bites and hickeys. -You're so easy for me, love... Look at you...- he spoke in a low voice, while still holding his hand firm in her mouth and kissing below her ear. - So easy...- he said going faster, as if it were possible, and bit his lower lip trying to contain his own moans this time, touching his nose to her cheek.

- Please…- she managed to speak muffled against his hand, feeling her orgasm quickly building.

- I know sweetheart... - he said making her feel his heavy breath into her cheek. -I got you ...-he finally said and that was enough for her orgasm to release with force, making him also come right after her with one last muffled grunt against her neck. He continued to move slowly for a few more seconds, before coming to a complete stop. The two of them with their breaths out of control. Reaching their high.

After a few minutes Tom took his hand from her mouth and soon after took his member out of her slowly. The two were silent the entire time. Y/n felt empty as  soonTom walked away to clean up, still half dazed from all the pleasure she just felt. He cleaned himself up and discarded the condom, zipping his pants and turned around, buttoning his shirt right away. Y/n didn't take her eyes off every move he made and he smiled approaching her.

- Want some help darling? - he asked standing in front of her and she held in his arms before he helped her getting down from the sink. She felt a little dizzy and if it wasn't for him holding her she thought she would fall. - You're right? - he asked still holding her on her waist.

- Yes...Thank you... - she managed to say.

- Well, I have to go, before they notice that I'm gone... - he said, releasing her.

- Of course... - Y/n said. - Tom… - she didn't know what to say. It might be the second time they'd done this, but it still felt like it was the first and she felt somewhat embarrassed. Maybe because she wasn't used to casual sex.

- See you soon? - He said giving a quick kiss on her cheek, fixing his hair in the best way he could and winking as he walked away, going to the door and unlocking it. He got out and closed it behind him while she back staring into the mirror.

She took a deep breath and was trying to figure out what to do next. After cleaning her up she finally got out of there. She crawled to the door and managed to get through the party without the weird looks she thought everyone would send to her when they bumped into her. For some reason she thought everyone would know, but obviously not. She felt weird doing that at an party, it really wasn't like her. But why did she feel so good?

She looked around before heading out of the house, but she didn't find Tom in her vision and she didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. She wanted to look at him one last time from afar, but at the same time she didn't. Maybe that was the last time they were going to do that. She didn't think she'd find him like this anywhere else, and she didn't intend to go to the bar he worked at just to get another night with him. Besides, that's what she was, just one night, just a "quickie" in the bathroom. And everything was fine. He was that for her too, so what did it matter?

For a moment she felt his head fill with ideas. Y/n had a perfect plot for her story now. She had to go home and get back to writing right away. Calling the driver from a distance, she practically ran towards the car.

[hotchley]

hey sumayyah! just an update:

firstly oh gosh i just realized i missed the reply from 🐝 anon (regarding the kpop song recs?) AND IT'S BEEN SO LONG so to 🐝 anon: i apologize!!!!! but i have just seen your reply!! and yes i will check them out, thank you so much 🥰🥰

secondly: i got the vaccine jab! the actual injection itself didn't really hurt but i still don't like injections lmao. but yeah your arm gets really sore and achy after a few hours, and especially the next day. other than that, i was relatively lucky in the sense i didn't really experience any more side effects (yet, maybe)? like i had a mini, really short headache the next day, and that's it i think (i didn't measure my temperature so no way of knowing if i ever had a fever, maybe I'll do it later, just to check & be safe)

lastly! the literature essay was on Hamlet! we're doing a few texts for my English Literature class (I'm doing (Cambridge) A levels E-Lit), and the texts include The Great Gatsby, Hamlet and The Caretaker (there's 2 other set texts too but I've forgotten their names oops) — we've gone through & (kinda) finished Gatsby & Hamlet, and we're starting The Caretaker next term. the essay was supposed to be practice for the upcoming test & we could choose any question we wanted to write on (there was a supplied list) & the question I chose was to talk about how the characters in Hamlet concealed and revealed their differing state of mind! quite interesting to consider but also lowkey very frustating because unpopular opinion: i don't actually like Hamlet that much & much prefer Gatsby instead 🥴 all my friends insist I have issues and keep telling me that Hamlet >>>> Gatsby and I appreciate Shakespeare really, but Hamlet is just.... Not Vibing ™ with me 😭 even when we did Macbeth last year I had a much easier & better time but really Hamlet is Not It i guess.

okay oops that turned out into a really long rant hahaha, i just wanted to check in! & tbh I'm fine with going off anon but I'm just a little shy because my blog is NOTHING compared to yours 😳🥺 (you might see me in your notifs sometimes 🥴) but I'll type out the hc slash small drabble i wrote soon! (it's currently 4am here where i am and i need to get back to sleep soon LOL) i hope you're doing well, sending lots of love and hugs! take care of yourself & here's your daily reminder to stay hydrated now!! 🥰❤️❤️

- 🌙

YAY! You have recommendations!!

Oh okay :) I haven't had either dose yet because it's not being offered to my age group, but only my mum and sister were properly unwell after so...

I've never read Hamlet. Probably never will, so I can't comment... I have lots of unpopular book opinions, one of which is: I didn't like The Great Gatsby. I feel like I was missing part of the context, but I just didn't vibe with it....

Oh I actually did enjoy Macbeth!! I did it as part of my English Lit course, and it wasn't bad... I saw a production of it too, which was cool :) I also got dubbed Lady Macbeth, because I was softly-spoken and seemingly very sweet, but in things like debate I won't hold back... so yeah

You can't compare your blog to others!! Some of the people I follow are Very Cool and Very Popular, but at the end of the day, we're all just people putting a little piece of ourselves on a site most people think of as dead so...

OH YES!! GO TO SLEEP!!

Aww thank you... and yeah I should probably do the hydration...

[realmeisstuff]

The Craziest Thing I Did For Seventeen

I like planning things.

Ever since Ideal Cut and missing the chance to see them in 2018, I've been thinking of ways to fulfill my fangirl dreams without sacrificing my responsibility as a daughter and sister, and also my goals as a nurse.

Working in a private hospital doesn't give you lots of extra money for fangirling. My regular salary could only cover my daily expenses plus contributions for my family needs, so I could only save for my most awaited unannounced Seventeen concert by doing overtime, not using my holiday pay and saving my night differentials, plus super tight budgeting.

It took two years for them to finally announce "Ode to You" world tour. And this time, I'm planning on turning my plans into action.

But before that, I had to find ways to ensure that everything would go smoothly: first, is to arrange my schedule, second is to prove my parents that Seventeen is my drive towards success and not a distraction (because it it necessary for me to get their approval and I don't want them to think that I'm choosing Seventeen over practicality), and three, take my sister with me, because she's the reason why I saw them in the first place, now it's my turn to bring her to them. It's about time that I return the favor by chasing our happiness together.

Maktub.

The first one was resolved probably due to luck that I never knew I had.

Since I've already become a regular employee, I was entitled for an annual vacation, but my schedule was December 2019, while the concert was set on February 2020. I went to my nursing manager and asked if my vacation could be moved to February, but she said that it wouldn't be possible, since the date is fixed. But when she tried to check the schedule in the HR, conflict arised since 4 of us in the ICU department, have the same schedule, and due to under staffing, they needed to arrange it. I volunteered for my schedule to be moved to a later date and so February 1-15 was given to me as my vacation leave.

Lucky, right?

In my excitement, I already booked for the flight and hotel, a crazy impulsive decision that could only be paired with prayers, in hope that it would go the way I plan it to. (But in my defense I had to do it, because it's much cheaper if you booked it earlier than later)

-------------------------------------------------------

The second one was a challenge. How could I convince my parents that I know what to prioritize and that choosing Seventeen isn't impractical? The only answer I could find was to take the english proficiency exam that I was supposed to take 2 years ago, but doesn't have the guts to do it. I've already saved for the exam, but I always come up with excuses (or actually somewhat true) that I don't have time to study due to my work schedule.

But this time for Seventeen (and my nursing career), I'm willing to take a chance (although my non-risk taker self is shaking with anxiety).

It was late in November when I decided to book my exam, I was hoping to take it by December, but maybe God knows I'm still not prepared since I haven't studied intensively yet, that there was a conflict of schedule. My coworker already booked December, and since we're on the same shift, we must not be on leave at the same time. So, I booked the next available schedule, which is January, at least I still have a month to study for the test.

During night shifts, if I don't have anyhing to do, I would practice my writing, then on weekends I would practice my reading and listening. Everyday after duty, I would only sleep for about 6-7 hours, so that I could wake up then practice my speaking for 1-2 hours before my next shift.

Four days before my exam, I had to ask permission to be on leave, so that I could camp out at the site and buy my desired ticket. I had to study while waiting in line. Despite the long hours of waiting, I am determined and excited to finally buy my concert tickets. It also helped that Carats surrounded me, and I felt that I've really found my place. We met our mutuals, and chatted with our co-fans. It was a very memorable moment for me.

January 16,2020. Boo Seungkwan's Birthday and also the day of the exam. I was so nervous, and to calm my nerves, I silently prayed to God for guidance, I joked that "God if only the examiner would ask me about my favorite music, I would be sure that I could pass this exam, because I could talk about Seventeen all day". In my surprise, it was the first question for the first part of the exam. And that's when I knew that where God guides, he provides.

I believe that the universe is conspiring to help me achieve what I truly wanted the most. I passed the test with flying colors, and it helped me gain the approval of my mom to go to the concert.

But then 2020 strikes, and it seems that the pandora box was opened. Health threats due to the covid virus was rising, and everyone was worried that it would reach the country.

I knew the gravity of the situation, but I couldn't stop myself from wanting to go to the concert despite the fear. I started becoming desperate when most of the events were cancelled due to the pandemic.

I held onto that hope that God didn't let me achieve everything I did so far, just to break my heart. I already have the concert and plane tickets, and the hotel was already paid, but on top of all that, I didn't want to disappoint my sister, who wanted this so badly like I do, because after long years of waiting, she could finally have a chance to go home to Manila. Also, my friend, who has never been in any concerts (despite wanting to go), finally took the courage to do this for herself.

When Running Man announced the cancellation of their concert, which is one day after OTY. I couldn't help but cry. I feel like my world is falling apart. Without the fangirl side of me, I would just be my pessimistic, melancholic self who doesn't know how to have fun.

As if that's not bad news enough, due to the massive resignation in the Icu department, they had to rotate the ward staffs and place them in our department, and when they announced the name of the "new" Icu staffs, it feels like I've been struck by a lightning.

In my two years of working, I only had a conflict with two nurses from different departments: The girl who spread rumors about me and the senior nurse from my previous area who traumatized me during my junior days. So, how shocking was it that the newbies would be the both of them? I almost resigned right there and then.

But it only made my desire to go to the concert much stronger, because the only thing that could push me to work even in the most stressful environment with the most difficult co-workers would be Seventeen.

I felt so down as the days went nearer to the concert date. I felt that anytime they would announce the cancellation of the event, and I had to cancel everything I booked as well.

I wanted to tell myself that safety first, but the other side of me wanted to see them so badly...desperate even to risk and live presently without fear. I debated in my head that I would die faster working in the hospital rather than to a one-day concert.

I prayed to the Gods, even done some bargaining, so that we would all be safe to go to the concert. I would rather have toxic shifts with my toxic co-workers than to miss this concert. I was that desperate.

But Inang announced that the concert would push through.

*Insert happy tears and fangirl squeals*

I made the necessary preparations, so that I would ensure our safety. We brought n95 and surgical mask with us plus we take 1000 mg vitamin c everyday.

We encountered problems along the way such as the hotel canceling our reservation, even though I've already paid the downpayment, and heavy rains while searching for the hotel, but we made it.

We were able to sort out the problems, and enjoyed the day before the concert. We did some pilgrimage and went to Saem store where they did their fansigning event. We also stopped by their hotel, but just to look at the place.

On the day of the concert, we went inside the arena early, and was able to join the Carat activities. It was exhilarating to be on the same area as Seventeen, and I felt so ecstatic like I'm in cloud nine.

Although me and my friends were separated by barricade while we're looking for coffee, we still had a great time chatting with others.

Finally, we we're allowed to go inside and find our VIP seats. I was so overwhelmed, because of how close it was to the stage as compared to my previous lower box experience, that I couldn't stop from shedding happy tears. My sister was in awe, and I held onto her as I calm myself.

This is the moment I've been waiting for. Not only these past 2 years, but I think that I needed this for my whole life.

I cried once again after the concert. I was so happy. I've never been this happy in my life. Everything was worth it and I don't regret anything.

SepAnx was real, as me, my sister and my friend, cried during our flight back to the province. But despite the longing, we knew that February 8, 2020 will forever go down in the history as the perfect day when we were able to reached goals, and became the happiest fangirl in the universe.

Hopefully, we would be able to do this again when the world heals. And when that time comes, I hope we'll see them, all thirteen of them.

[sieben9]

hiiii i have a question that you definitely don't have to answer!! But i noticed you signed up for rumbelle big bang and i was just wondering if english is your first language?? And if not, what advice would you give someone who would like to write fanfics in english but it's not their first language? Do you know how to find a good beta or something? thanks!

Hey there! Nope, English isvery definitely not my first language. (Technically, it’s my fourth.) I’m notsure if I can nail down any useful advice from my mess of a process, but I’lltry.

I decided to group this intothree categories: before writing, during writing, and after writing, and thenthis got a lot longer than I thought it would. So please read on under the cut:

Before

Read a lot of English prose.Chances are, you’re doing that already, because a lot of fanfic is inEnglish, but it felt worth mentioning. This way, you’ll gain a “feel” for thenatural patterns of the language, which are otherwise really hard to teach.

Maybe read up on some grammar.Not to memorise the rules, but again, this will help you keep the patterns ofthe language in mind. (For example, I should really read up on Englishpunctuation, because I use about twelve times as many commas.

Now, your next decision is a big one: do you want to pre-write this fic in your native language or do you write it in English from the get-go?

Personally, I’m firmly in the second camp, because… well, mostly because it comes more naturally (and translating is hard work), but there’s definitely something to be said for the other option. You can view this as a zero-th draft, if you like. Get down all the important stuff, then don’t really translate that story, but rather re-write it in English. That’s potentially a bit of extra work, but it may also save you a lot of grief. Just… do whatever sounds better to you. I just wanted to mention that you have options.

There’s also a weird littletrick (that dermatologists hate… sorry, had to) that I learned from a writingpodcast that you might want to try: Before you start on your own prose, grab abook (or fic) with a similar “tone” as the thing you want to write and justre-key a few paragraphs/pages (whatever feels right). It’s important that youactually type out the words, not just read them. I don’t know how itworks, exactly, but it does something to my brain that always helps me get intothe “zone” much faster than I do normally.

During

First of all: ALLOWYOURSELF TO WRITE IT BADLY!I’m sorry about the shouting, but this is so, so important. In writing ingeneral, but even moreso if you’re writing in something other than your nativelanguage. You have to juggle the whole entire mess of plot, dialogue, charactervoices, motivations, setting, etc. etc. and navigate all of that around a languagebarrier. That is, frankly, a ridiculous amount of work, and there is noneed to do it all at once. You’ll probably have to do a language pass, anyway,so don’t agonise too much about your style in the first draft.

Next: [BRACKETS]

Examples:

“As they made their way backto the house, she noticed a [SCHLEIEREULE] gliding silently across the nightsky.”

“Outside,[IRGENDWAS DARÜBER, WIE DER REGEN GEGEN DIE FENSTERSCHEIBE PRASSELT]”

Yes, these are both actualexamples from my writing. Don’t judge me.

Basically, the brackets makeit easier to keep up the writing flow, and they become doubly important whenthe language itself is something that will trip you up often.

Lastly, and I might get yelled at for this: if a word doesn’t feel right, and you can’t say why, maybe go to a thesaurus site and just… have a look around. With a bit of luck, you’ll find the word you actually want to use. As always with these things, use in moderation, and don’t replace a “simple” word with a more outlandish one just for the sake of replacing it. Simple words are great!

After

I really think the most important part of this is finding people who will check your writing and use of language. You can only do so much by yourself without getting a second opinion, because you’ll always be limited by your own understanding of the language.

Unfortunately, I haven’t hadthe guts to find a beta for myself, yet (though I really, really should), so I can’tgive you any practical advice for this part. If you have any native English speakers amongyour writing friends, you could maybe ask them, even if they’re not in your fandom.What you need is a language pass, not a content edit, after all. Other thanthat, I can imagine that a request for help in the rumbelle fic tag might yieldresults. (If someone knows something here, please chime in, I’m terribleat approaching people!)

Last of all, and this isimportant: don’t drive yourself nuts over this. If you’ve done all of theabove, but the fic still feels kind of “off” to you? Post it anyway. People aremuch more forgiving of small slip-ups than you might think, and your next onewill probably be better, anyway.

Whew, OK, that got a lotlonger than I expected. I hope something in there is helpful for you!

EDIT: I am also sometimes a bit of a dunce, which is why I didn’t remember this earlier… there are a bunch of non-native English speakers in the fandom who’ve written a lot more than I have! (@thatvermilionflycatcher and @sarashouldbestudying immediately come to mind, but I know for a fact that there are quite a lot more than that) Try asking them, too, they may have better adivce.