#it's already hard enough for me to find a youtuber i like who makes yakuza videos

[one-vivid-judgment]

The reason watching Yakuza gameplays is dangerous is cause you'd be watching all willy-nilly then suddenly the guy will go,,,

"DAMN, KIRYU HAS ASS"

[thotsforvillainrights]

Thanksgiving with the Shie Hassaikai headcanons? Can we also pretend Pops is awake for this too? 🥺

(No worries! We always pretend Pops is awake because I live in a constant state of denial where I pretend Kai isn’t an asshole that put him in a coma. Anyway lol, let’s just pretend you work for the Hassaikai for this one! Ps: I was hoping someone would request this)

~Thanksgiving with the Hassaikai~

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up

-Although you’ve only been employed to the Hassaikai for 10 months so far, everyone already knew your personality well enough to see this coming. That’s why when you called an emergency meeting, nobody was surprised at your request for celebrating Thanksgiving together. However, that didn’t make it easy for getting everyone to agree. Rappa, Tabe, Deidoro, Pops, and Toya were excited for it! Hojo, Tengai, Nemoto, and Chrono were indifferent and didn’t mind trying it. The only complaints were from Kai (as usual when you suggested something fun) and Mimic (who didn’t see the point in it). Thankfully Pops was delighted by you from the very moment you showed up at the base. So of course he was on your side. Since he was still the big boss, there was nothing anyone could do to deny you. 

-”Okay everyone is required to bring something so we can have a feast. Work in teams to get this stuff done, and I’ll do the assigning! So Pops, you don’t have to worry about a single thing okay? Don’t worry about getting anything together but if you absolutely want to then I don’t mind.” You smiled at him and he cheerfully nodded. “Okay here’s the line up: Rappa and Katsukame are in charge of the Turkey. I’m putting a lot of faith in you guys. The turkey is the star of the show and I need it done perfectly! Or at least...as good as you can manage. Tengai and Mimic can handle the devilled eggs. Deidoro and Hojo are in charge of getting the drinks. Please do not show up with only alcohol. In fact, I’m mainly counting on you Hojo to make sure Sakaki doesn’t do this. Now Tabe and Setsuno are in charge of getting the plates, cups, cutlery, and the deserts. Toya I’d focus on doing the deserts so Tabe won’t get tempted to eat them. Finally Overhaul and Chrono can get the side dishes. This includes Macaroni, Greens, Cranberry Sauce, any and all side meats like chicken or whatever. Ceaser salad, Potato salad, etc. You guys get the drift. The reason why I put so much on you is because I’m confident you guys can handle the load. Finally I’ll be working with Shin to get the Ham. That’s all! Any questions?” Immediately you got hands in the air.

Pops: “May I help make some of the main dishes?” He asked with slight puppydog eyes. Rather childlike for his old age, but you couldn’t deny him even if you wanted to. “Pops we just want you to relax as the head of the table, but if you really want to then you may attempt it.” 

Deidoro: “How much and what kind of alcohol am I in charge of?” His eyes were super focused causing you to laugh a bit. “Okay well let’s not go overboard first of all. It’s not like a Halloween party or anything wild like that. We’re getting together over dinner and expressing thanks for the things we received so graciously.” You explained. He paused and deadpanned. “So...just wine then?” ...”Yeah, just wine. And not the strong kind either. Maybe you can get a little Sake for yourself.”

Rappa: “Yes uh, how in the fuck am I supposed to cook this shit?” Katsukame punched his shoulder. “You big idiot, we bake it!” Rappa punched him back as a reply. “Fucking DUH, but like what kind of seasonings???” Katsukame punched him again. “Probably something not too heavy so we focus more of the fucking flavor of the dressing in side of it.” Rappa once again punched back as a rebuttal. “Fuck off, cilantro is all you had to say you bastard.” You immediately had to speak up between them before their playful banter would turn into an entire indoor death match. “Okay guys, don’t focus too hard on it. This is kinda western so just look up some recipes and videos please? And most importantly, always have a back-up turkey on hand just in case you guys mess up the first one.”

Kai: “Yeah I have a question. Where the hell do you get off on telling me what to do? I’m you’re boss and you’re just barely high enough up to even be considered a precept.” Pops immediately got up and slapped the back of Kai’s head. “Bite your tongue Chisaki and apologize!” Kai grumbled and bowed for a second while uttering a short apology. Chrono chuckled off to the side as he tried to hold back his laughter. 

Mimic: “Who’s wallet is this coming out of???” You smiled at him and he gulped. “Well not from our pay. We’ll call it a holiday event and pull from the reserves. The yakuza has been thriving lately under Pops of course. Unless anyone wants to donate?” You looked at Kai with fluttering lashes and he glared at you. “Fuck fine. I’ll cover the expenses on my end.” You smiled and nodded. 

-If only from that point on things could’ve went well but there were just too many obstacles of course. Not on you and Nemoto’s end of course! You two were efficient and quick. You got in and out of the grocery store in under 2 hours with the perfect ham. You agreed to go to his apartment to cook it together since the house kitchen at the base would go to Pops, Chrono, and Kai more than likely. And the lower part of the base kitchen would belong to Rappa and Rikiya. The TRUE issues arose on the ends of everyone else. Pops was an angel and the food he attempted to make was reasonable, but the old man overdid it and ended up making 4 of the same cakes. What were you going to do with exactly 4 red velvet cakes??? Anyway, as to be expected, Rappa and Rikiya fucked up BOTH of the turkeys. You had to make them search all around town to find a pre-done turkey on the morning of Thanksgiving itself. They eventually found one from a generous donor in exchange for that person having their debt to the yakuza swept under the rug. Chisaki and Chrono did a pretty good job but they took so long that half of the stuff was still being set up when it was time to start dinner. Tabe actually did an okay job at setting the table up. The real surprise was that SETSUNO was the one that was tempted and ended up munching corners off of the deserts. Of course Sakaki showed up with a wide variety of alcohol that Hojo didn’t even notice he had snuck into the other shopping cart. Meanwhile Tengai and mimic had decorated the devilled eggs rather poorly. Tengai believed the minimal was better and Mimic was trying to cut corners with price/quality. Nevertheless everything was set up and you all began to review the things you were thankful for.

“Well I just wanna start off by saying that I’m thankful for this job and the bonds I’ve made with you all not just as coworkers but as people. I truly consider the Hassaikai to be like family.”

Pops: “I want to thank everyone as well for working so hard for our little family here. I also want to thank you Y/N for bringing some youthful joy into my life once again.”

Kai: “I suppose I’m thankful for my good health and sanity dealing with all of you on a daily basis.”

Chrono: “Yo, I’m thankful for my last paycheck but also for the years I’ve served here. It kinda has been almost like a fam to me yknow. Not trying to get sappy or anything but thanks you guys.

Mimic: “This is weird but I guess I’ll try it. I’m thankful for uh...the opportunities set forward in front of me.”

Nemoto: ”I’m very much thankful for our leader, and also for master Overhaul. I appreciate you for allowing me to strive in my work the way that I do. I can only hope to continue pleasing you both as my time goes on at this organization. That is all.”

-Deidoro: “Thanks to this damn Saki I’ve already had 2 and a half cups of while everyone wasn’t listening. Also thankful for my liver as well.”

-Hojo: “Well I guess I can say I’m thankful for everyone here and for the boss when he took me in off the street and healed me after I almost died.”

Setsuno: “Yeah thanks for giving me purpose again boss. I’m thankful for that too.”

Tabe: “Food...friends...found family...”

Katsukame: “Fucking thanks for letting us have enough chance after we fucked up two of those damn turkeys. I thought you were gonna kill us Y/N.” 

Tengai: “I’m rather thankful for my sanity as well, after dealing with this job so much...”

Rappa: “This shit is cheesy but damn it I’m thankful for everything here too! I aint much at speeches so I’m gonna stuff my face now.” 

-So there you go. It may not have been the most conventional thanksgiving but it was something along the lines of a ‘perfect disaster’ all in it’s own. You can only sit back and look at everyone eating and talking before you realize that a Christmas party might not be so bad to start planning for either.

»—————————–———————————————————–✄

Instagram: @pastelbattydraws & @pastelbattystore

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRNMJH7vHL7APNobUykhK4w?view_as=subscriber

[thatyanderecritic]

Yandere Simulator

Title: Yandere Simulator

Media: Game, created by Yandere Dev

Yandere(s): Yandere-Chan (Ayano Aishi)/ Yandere-Kun

Yandere Scale: 0/5

Criticism written by: Kai

Editor: Julie

The Review:

(Warning! This is one of our most highly opinionated critic piece on our blog so far. Be wary and come to your own judgement in the end. m(_ _)m )

It was only a matter of time till we finally reviewed Yandere Simulator… With both the game and the main protagonist sharing the name “Yandere”, it made sense for the Yandere Critics to swoop in and see if this game truly lives up to its name (spoiler alert: it doesn’t). What horrors will our two critics discover in their pursuit of the truth?

This time on ThatYandereCritic…

Hello everyone, Kai here! It’s no secret that Julie and I absolutely hate Yandere Simulator and how the Yandere Dev is handling everything (from how he’s creating this game to the sort of person he is). We would state time and time again how we think that Yandere Simulator is pretty much hot garbage and is a bad representation of yanderes in general. Good concept but awful in execution. Now it is time to give a proper critic to the game that’s became the “face” of our community.

I would like to clarify that we’ll only be looking at the story and the main character (Yandere-Chan/Yandere-Kun). We will not be discussing about the Yandere Dev and his drama. If you want that, there’s plenty of “Yandere Dev rants” videos on youtube that goes in depth about the things he done and currently doing. If you’re curious, I recommend watching this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YY-aqqCFjnc With this being said, now for the proper review!

Let’s kick things off by talking about the story… The game starts with our protagonist, Yandere-Chan, accidentally running into her Senpai on her way to school. It was love at first sight when she first saw him. But Yandere-Chan soon found out that a girl named Osana plans to confess to Senpai under the school’s cherry blossom tree. This is like, totally bad! Everyone knows that confessions under that specific cherry blossom tree is guaranteed to be accepted! It was at this moment, Yandere-Chan knew what she needed to do… she must eliminate everything that stands between her and her Senpai.

First, can I just start off by saying how laughably lazy this story is? It’s one thing if this game was just some sort of parody or comedy. A game that is self aware that it’s just a joke and nothing more. But with how much the Yandere Dev hypes about the story and give it a “deep lore”, we can’t give the excuse: “It’s not that deep. It’s just a joke.” No. This game doesn’t have that shield anymore. The story is half assed and it can’t give a well developed yandere character a proper chance to shine. But… let’s ignore the story for now. We have seen examples of an awful story but a fantastic yandere (Example: Joe from the TV show, You). Let’s look at Yandere-Chan.

Thanks to Yandere Dev’s channel, we got a plethora of lore and background about the characters from the game. The office website is also a gold mine of information that we can analyze as well. So… thank god that Yandere Dev is more invested in those two things than his game. Can you imagine if we had to actually play his buggy game to get this information? Lol.

Let’s get on the same page here about Yandere-Chan’s backstory: Yandere-Chan had an odd childhood. Throughout her childhood, she was inflicted with an incurable condition that made her have no emotions. Growing up, she was bullied at school (because she couldn’t feel I guess). But Yandere-Chan learned how to fake having emotions and live the easy life. Oddly enough, Yandere-Chan’s mom had the same condition as well when she was growing up. Yandere mom reassured Yandere-Chan that “When she finds that special boy, [she’ll] be able to feel.” But Yandere-Chan’s dad went “Nah, bitch. I’ll make Yandere-Chan have feelings.” Of course, that didn’t work. In the end, Yandere-Chan lived her life as an empty shell till she finally met Senpai. Yada yada yada…. Start of the game.

So… what the fuck?

This is the literal definition of a psychopath, dude. Why are we skirting around what Yandere-Chan has?! “Incurable condition” my ass. It’s psychopathy (maybe sociopathy but the evidence leans more towards psychopathy). Next, in the video, why would a general practitioner know that Yandere-Chan is a psychopath?! At most, the doctor would notice something is odd about her before recommending a child psychiatrist to examine Yandere-Chan. Mr. Yandere Dev, you make it sound like Yandere-Chan has a cold; not a mental illness. It was also mention in the video that Yandere-Chan felt pity for her father who was struggling with her mental illness. If she can’t feel any emotions, as you said, then please explain how she felt pity for her father? Can I also point out that Yandere-Chan started faking her emotions for her father’s sake AND THEN started getting bullied because she wasn’t normal. But wait a minute… Yandere-Chan learned how to fake emotions because of the bullying. So how does this logic work? Did she take two steps forward but ten steps back? Why did we have the whole doctor fiasco if Yandere Mom already knew all this about her daughter? WHY DOES YANDERE-CHAN’S BACKSTORY HAVE MORE HOLES THAN A SLICE OF SWISS CHEESE?!

Kai.exe stopped working… now resetting program… reset is now complete

Phew… sorry about that everyone. I was going insane after going through a bunch of videos by the Yandere Dev and the Yandere Simulator website.  

For a character called Yandere-Chan, she’s more like Psychopath-Chan. Like geez. If it isn’t obvious, everything about this character screams “psychopath”. Sure, she is portrayed to have “lovesickness” but Yandere-Chan breaks so many rules that her “lovesickness” can’t save her.

A couple of rules she broken:

1. The yandere shouldn’t go on a random killing spree as if she’s/he’s in an all you can eat buffet. Bottomline, a serial killer isn’t a yandere but a yandere could be a serial killer.

2. Shallow background, shallow person. Why were you even created man?

3. Instalove is a pretty cheap cop out for a female yandere to start liking someone. We noticed that sometimes they would fall in love for shallow reasons like: “Kyaa, he passed me the salt shaker, I think I’m in love!” This logic makes me cringe, honestly.

“But, Kai! This game is all about killing the rivals! It isn’t fair to Yandere-Chan to tick her off on that!”

Um… there are many different ways a yandere can get rid of a rival without killing them. Mr. Yandere Dev even suggested a mechanic where the player can hook up love rivals with other NPCs.  Yet the core “tactic” Yandere-Chan (and the player) would chose would be to kill the rivals. Not only that, it’s also encouraged to go on a killing spree for extra points for Info-Chan and the Yakuza (not yet implemented). So… this absolutely is a tick against her.

Moving on! I also find it incredibly hard to even call Yandere-Chan a proper “yandere” considering her creator doesn’t even know what a yandere is. On Yandere Dev's website, he defines a yandere as: “A Yandere girl is a girl who loves a boy so much that she is willing to threaten, harm, or kill any other girl who seems interested in him.”

Uh… W.H.A.T.

That’s literally the definition he puts on his website, people. And don’t even get me started on the definition he uses during videos (“A yandere is a person who is crazy for someone else”). Okay, let’s give Yandere Dev the benefit of the doubt and say: “He sort of right… if you squint hard enough”. But if we refer back to our Yandere Actions post, just using the “yandere snap” doesn’t make Yandere-Chan a yandere. In the end, Yandere-Chan is nothing more but a psychopath.

To those who are reading this: As individuals who are part of the yandere community, I am appealing to you right now. We may disagree on a lot of things. We may disagree on what is and isn’t a yandere. We may disagree on some characteristics of what makes a yandere. But I hope to agree with everyone that “Yandere Simulator” is not the thing we want to define our community.

I’ve heard people compare Yandere-Chan as the “New Yuno Gasai”. I’ve heard people call Yandere-Chan as “the perfect example of a yandere” or “the ideal yandere”. I’ve heard many misinformed comments about yanderes thanks to this game. It may have brought to light our community but this is a double edge sword. It’s one thing if there’s only a couple misinformed users out there. It’s expected and no offense to them. But what’s troubling is the popularity of this misinformed game and the spreading through popular youtubers (again, no offense to them since they don’t know). This game is basically our face to those outside of the community. I talked to several people who are quick to judge me as “one of those perverts” thanks to this game’s reputation (water off my back). You can still like the game or the characters. I know Yandere-Chan generates lots of yandere aesthetics and the fandom has done way better with her than her own creator. But can we all agree to denounce this game as a “yandere icon”. Use it as a conversation starter and use it to point out myths about yanderes… but don’t let this define us. I believe we’re better than that… we’re all better than that. “Romance turned Horror” and “Horror turned Romance” lovers… Aesthetic yanderes, Yandere Recommendations, and Yandere Analysis blogs… We’re all in this together. Let’s shake on this, friends.

Overall score: 0/10

(Post-edit: I forgot to mention Yandere-Kun; there is a bit of a difference between him and Yandere-Chan. He is the genderbend version for Yandere-Chan (for those who want to play as a guy) but Yandere Dev stated that Yandere-Kun’s reasoning for chasing Senpai is purely sadistic. So, regardless how you paint things, Yandere-Kun is just as psychopathic as his female counterpart)