#it's about a man falling apart bc illness like he's dying and talking to his god

[the-acid-pear]

Also while Jack and religion posting these lyrics from Belle's Palsy by Reverend Glasseye just felt so him.

[bennifits]

My ass said “let there be light”

But yeah let me know what y’all think / want more n shit bc,,, kinda thinking about stufffff

edit: i’ll add as i come up with stuff

————

* - can be interpreted as just friends

/ - Done! (check masterlist)

Daryl Dixon x reader ideas

- YN used to be an animator / comic artist before the world ended, they collect notebooks and create those little page flipping animations. In Alexandria, they make comics for the kids. Daryl finds out and for some reason is very entertained by a guy waving over two pages

*- a storm traps you and Daryl in an abandoned house on a run. To pass the time, you tell stories of mythology.

*- you met them all at terminus

*- y’all discuss fears in an abandoned chucky cheese

- you met him upside down in a tree (got caught in a trap)

*- you rope him into beating the shit out of some kids in a snowball fight

- nicknames, you’ve got loads of them.

- our lady of the sanctuary - daryl’s time at the sanctuary was nothing but dark. But there was one person who shone through it all, not just for him, but for all of the sanctuary

Immune reader stuff

*- You get bit on a run. You don’t tell anyone who came with you. Having to come to terms with dying and preparing for it humanely is weird and hard to deal with, especially when it’s been 3 days and nothing has happened.

/- you got bit a year or two into this whole mess. You haven’t turned at all or shown any signs of turning. Out of fear of what might happen to you, you kept it a secret and came up with a cleverly constructed lie to explain it. The secret falls apart when you get bit on a run and Daryl starts asking questions

*- simply put, you get bit, Daryl is there, you both come to terms that you will die and decide to spend the last moments together. But the last moments never come.

- you finally summon the courage to tell Daryl about the fact that you’re immune after keeping it a secret for so long.

Travelling ‘bard’ Reader

Idk I just think the idea of a travelling bard in this universe is neato

*- It’s you and daryl’s turn for a run, he’s heard about how you have a weird method of emptying buildings of walkers. So he’s curious when you take a guitar on the run with you.

*- you’ve always been a wanderer and could never stay in one place for too long. It was your down fall

- you’ve had your guitar / instrument since day one of the apocalypse, a gift from your best friend before they died. But it’s nothing compared to losing Daryl, so you smash your most prized possession over someone’s head.

- yall know the famous negan round up right? some of his men find you snooping around and trying to figure out a way to get them out of that situation. only really makes it worse. no one is happy. and negan could use a canary

Researcher

*- You were always good at noticing the small things, taking in information and using it to your advantage. Ever since the outbreak, you’ve kept a journal on you, studying and researching the walkers. You’ve cut them open, experimented, watched their movements and watched them as they’ve rotted away. It was a nice secret until Daryl finds your journal open. 

- In alexandria you have your own little lab in your basement, it’s a secret from most of the inhabitants of the community (save for Deanna, Aaron maybe and a few higher figures). Daryl comes looking for you and finds said basement with gutted walkers and stuff. questions are asked. 

Inspired by things stories:

- Doubt comes in: LEGIT THE SONG FROM HADESTOWN / the story of eurydice and orpheus. Like idk Negan or some motherfucker is all like “yeah you can have y/n back if you dont look back” hold on ill get the song. idk why but i can’t stop thinking about it

Etc:

- reader fights their way out tooth and nail out of a place to get back to Daryl. I’m talking biting into a man’s neck, breaking limbs. Ripping and tearing until it’s fucking done. And when they open the door to leave, Daryl is right there waiting bc he was about to do the same thing *insert pointing Spider-Man meme*

---

yeah so im trying out writing again. soooooooooooooo if yall want any of this hmu in da ask box thingy

[fmdtaeyongarchive]

q3 2021 update & plot call !!

below the cut, you can find an update on ash’s current life, career (or rather absence of), and development for quarter three, as well as plot and thread ideas! if you see anything that you’d like to plot out or write with him, like this or message me, and we can get to it! i have a lot in mind about where ash is right now, so i might add more and expand later on!

mentions of ash’s continuing struggle with mental illness under the cut in case you don’t wanna read that rn

professionally

ash is on hiatus the whole quarter so... not much going on here.

uhh basically the first two days of july he was still trying to get bc to let him take a break so schedule threads could be set then if they cross paths at the bc building! he’s going to be participating in concert rehearsals for knight to a less intense extent since bc, as of the beginning of his hiatus, fully intends him to participate in the concerts. he’ll miss about the first half of the tour, but in july and august he’ll still be attending knight tour rehearsals some to keep up. schedule threads can also be done then!

(note that he’ll be missing the bc city concert as well — i don’t see him dropping by just to support either tbh, sorry bc ppl. white knight duo ver tho let’s gooooooooooo)

ash will eventually start writing music and finding his love of that again though and that’s pretty much the most work he can do during his hiatus, so it’d be cool to maybe have him write, compose, or produce for a few people that might be releasing later this year or sometime next year if anyone is interested? :) we can see if ash would work for it. there’s also opening for him to ask a few people he’s close to to sing some demos for him when he starts trying to write again!

personally + plot ideas!

explaining how he got to his hiatus would take me all day but he basically forced bc’s hand in letting him take time off (well, he wanted to leave knight and retire ngl but his manager was like... you know that’s not going to happen let’s try a hiatus <3). you can read my badly-written solos for part of it (i still need to write more) but generally, the most other muses might know is that they might have run into him acting kinda moody/down or impulsive/irresponsible lately, he made a very uncharacteristic post on social media that hinted at being unhappy with his life currently and losing passion/excitement for even the things he used to value most highly before his social media was deactivated by bc lmaaooo. the post would have probably conveyed Something was up it it wasn’t like genuinely super triggering-level content i promise !! bc released a statement shortly after stating he’d be going on hiatus without mentioning a definitive end date.

so there’s the possibility a muse might have checked up on him after that post / the hiatus news to see how he was doing?

tbh ash isn’t going to be seeking out meeting new people during his hiatus. he’s taking time to himself and is only going to make any effort to hang out with people he’s comfortable with. those he’s not close to, he’s going to have to interact with by running into unintentionally.

he’s getting a place in jeju in the early-ish part of his hiatus. he’ll be spending a lot of time there at first because he just wants to get away from seoul, so it’d be nice to set some threads there if your muse has the time to hop over to visit him if they have anything resembling a free day. (again a certain level of closeness would be necessary, but i think one good heart to heart conversation beforehand could bring someone closer to him enough for that rn! even over text tbh lmao). chuseok would be a really good time for this !! i imagine catching up over lowkey dinners or heart to hearts under the stars, that found family ash has actively fought having lol

(that place in jeju is also going to be where he starts to want to write music again too, so music based stuff there would be chill?)

heart to hearts in general anywhere would be really good for ash right now so please give me those! they can be in seoul too for sure.

he’ll be moving into a new apartment in seoul eventually, though that will probably be a little later in his hiatus? he had some bad fan/sasaeng run-ins right before his hiatus and having so much time off makes him realize he wants to move. someone can help him house hunt or if someone else is looking for a place, they can talk together about it. i want him to realize he wants to move into a smaller place that can feel more like home

once he does move, muses are free to come over and help him set up / be his one-man housewarming party. that’s a little down the line tho !! so we might not want to plot that as a thread to write right this instant

he may also be getting a pet ! muses can come look with him at a shelter or he can run into people there!

this would be a little later in his hiatus, but it’d be interesting if once he’s doing a little better, he gets the urge to dance and runs into a muse at the dance studio. idk that he’ll ever fall completely back in love with dancing, but he might rediscover some of what he did love about dancing and ash and this muse often run into each other as he visits that dance studio a little more often and they eventually bond over it / do some dancing together.

those who still really have that passion for making music ash has lost, talk to him about it <3 he misses it. he might cry but tbh he’s liable to cry in any thread

he’s cutting his hair short and dying it back to black this month, so it would be possible to run into him at the hair salon!

ash will want to be inside at home mostly at the beginning of his hiatus, but as it goes on, he’ll start to branch out and that will offer some more opportunities to hang out. he’ll try not to go to bars and clubs really, but small music venues or jazz lounges, small indie cinemas, galleries, those kind of things will be up his alley

idk that there’s much plotting to be had around this, but this long hiatus on top of the other hiatuses he’s had and his acting out before this hiatus is going to make some of the bc team realize it might not be super wise to keep pushing him hard as a cf model (and in the long run, just less of pushing him as a major idol star within the company in general tbh) so he’ll be able to get some more tattoos and piercings and will become more comfortable, hopefully, with presenting himself how he wants to be seen / having some development in that good ol’ lack of bodily autonomy aspect ash has always had going on. he’ll be coming out of hiatus living much more of his 2021 jk fc truth with the full sleeve and the eyebrow piercing .

uhhh ? pretty far down the line but i’ll mention it while it’s on my mind :) i think it’d be cool if ash did a collab (mini-)album (or two?) at some point after getting off hiatus. i’d want it to be someone he really clicks with creatively (though they don’t have to be a songwriter — i can see it working as collaborative songwriting or as ash feeling really inspired to write for them) and wants to work with since it’s not going to be something he’s letting bc push him into it at that point, and something that just happens organically. realistically, this would work with a female vocal best by far, maybe a male rapper just based on the songs ash does / i can see him doing. probably wouldn’t want to commit to anything fully rn unless it really clicks but i wanted to throw the idea out there :)

uhmmm?? ig i should also mention ash will be paying attention to his health both mental and physical he’s been neglecting for a while. there isn’t too much to say regarding plotting here because he needs to handle it himself with trying new therapy, medications, understanding there’s some stuff beyond “just” his depression going on. coming to accept nothing’s ever going to be perfect, but that self-awareness and effort can help more than denial can. not super plot potential-y but i’ll mention it since this is all the personal update section

basically, ash is taking time to recover mentally (and physically) and ultimately hopefully leave hiatus in a better place than he started where he can be more comfortable in his career, even if just a little bit, in himself, and in his life. if he can have some good, developing threads during the time, that’d be great!

[taniushka12]

4, 14, 24 (also explain how if u like~)

aaaaa thankssss i love... talking abt wips lmao

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

ok so I write snippets of different fics per week so ill do a couple if u dont mind~

“The water falling harder on the steps ahead was now bouncing and lightly falling on her feet. She felt her own toes wriggling at the sensation, the cold of the rain easier to bare than the dark eyes of the woman in front of her. Two black holes trying to suck every meaning of her words, her face, her actions, to pull them apart and understand them. It was as dangerous as beautiful to be at the edge of such, but good thing Sasha wasn't a black hole nor a sun, not yet at least.”

from an annabelle/sasha one-shot im working on that I cant wait to post dfgfdg, i love this part!! for context, annabelle is a possible antagonist from tma, across the few past seasons is like she could be evil.... but you’re not sure... and if you decide to believe that shes telling the truth whch i do she has a sad backstory and i just love her ok? and i LOVE sasha as you know, so the idea of a normal regular ass human being so intense that she leaves this spider-ish monster-ish woman both in awe and smitten is... so good ;o;

also they kiss bc they both deserve some fluff :’)

[tw: body horror? in the next one]

“The air around her tensed and for a second she was ready to bolt, but the body didn't move, didn't make a sound, just lay there as the last of the bees moved through his clothes and out of his... mouth? eye? Sasha couldn't see very well with the low light, and behind that pressing feeling of disgust at the base of her stomach a new impulse took over her body. After what it felt an eternity she realized she could actually move, and immediately hunched over the body to take a better look at it. 

 It was... horrible. The man who once was her neighbor laid face up, skin covered in liquid wax dripping from the ceiling maintaining his flesh mostly intact as combs grew from his mouth eating the rest of his face upwards, eye sockets indistinguishable from the rest of his face. Taking a napkin out of her pocket she took the face with her hand, twisting it to see the rest of it under the pale light, and despite the vague disgust at her urgency she simply couldn't stop herself.

It was horrible, but god, a part of her was dying to see. [...]

Was she being cautious, then?

Was she being indulgent?

Feeling the flimsy flesh against the cloth on her hand she had to consider a third and sickeningly real option; she had been curious.”

from a martin/sasha slowburn longfic where martin is slowly turning into a honeycomb monster against his will and sasha is the only one that knows and so they both try to deal w/ it, but the thing is! they both make some decisions in the middle that end up in a a guy dying, and this is the moment she realizes maybe he’s not the only one who’s changing under the circunstances. . . 

im super excited for this scene bc ive been dying to write it months ago dfgdfg woohoo!!! 

14. At what point in writing do you come up with a title?

depends!! sometimes I think of a cool title and its like “huh how would a story based on that title look like?”, sometimes in the middle I write a cool line and its like “oh what if the title were tied to this?”, sometimes it hits me while im thinking abt anything else and sometimes at the very end when I have everything ready EXCEPT the title lmao

24. Would you say your writing has changed over time?

I want to say it did honestly, but it’s harder to see than the changes in visual art yknow? I think I write longer now, describe more of the scene, the place and stuff, also I like to think I think more about the dialogues and characterization? It harder to pinpoint mostly bc half of my stuff is in spanish and the other in english but id Say it changed u_u

[ask me abt my writing~!]

[seasaltmemories]

The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein Review/Analysis

Really expanding my pallet by tackling a book instead of anime like I’ve done in the past, but I have a lot of complex thoughts about this that I pretty much need to spill out immediately

Summary time:

Elizabeth Lavenza hasn't had a proper meal in weeks. Her thin arms are covered with bruises from her "caregiver," and she is on the verge of being thrown into the streets . . . until she is brought to the home of Victor Frankenstein, an unsmiling, solitary boy who has everything--except a friend. Victor is her escape from misery. Elizabeth does everything she can to make herself indispensable--and it works. She is taken in by the Frankenstein family and rewarded with a warm bed, delicious food, and dresses of the finest silk. Soon she and Victor are inseparable. But her new life comes at a price. As the years pass, Elizabeth's survival depends on managing Victor's dangerous temper and entertaining his every whim, no matter how depraved. Behind her blue eyes and sweet smile lies the calculating heart of a girl determined to stay alive no matter the cost . . . as the world she knows is consumed by darkness.

All my reviews are extremely personal, but this is going to get even more personal bc of the unique relationship I have with the original Frankenstein, I read that back in my senior year of high school and while it wasn’t a favorite of mine, I had my fun with it, I wasn’t the most diligent student, skipping much of the latter half bc I wanted to focus more on my senior thesis, but I really enjoyed Victor as a protagonist.  In contrast to how adaptions portray him, he’s a pathetic teenager/20-something who drops out of college bc he gets offended when his science professors laugh at him for wanting to study alchemy instead of a real field of science.  He gets sick at the drop of the hat, is so self-centered he really only acknowledges others when they are right in front of him, and a coward who can’t take responsibility for any of the problems he creates, all without being particularly malicious, I more enjoy laughing at him than fangirling over him, but there is a lot of humanity there that I find endearing in its own way

But I was an Elizabeth fangirl, the girl goes through equal amounts of hell without knowing it is all the fault of the man she adores.  While the narrative mostly kept her as “love interest” I felt their could be a lot of pathos to her tale and even wrote an essay about it.  However as I looked for academic material/retellings, I couldn’t find any that shared my sentiment

Recently I was brought back to Frankenstein because of a local writing contest that was celebrating its 200th birthday.  While it was looking for horror submissions in general, I wrote a modern retelling with the intent of giving it a female perspective and subsequently won first place for it

So when I discovered this book, published around the same time as when I wrote my own retelling, it seemed made for me.  And oh those first few chapters were a treat, it felt exactly like something I might even write: Elizabeth is someone who plays the angel bc she fears she won’t survive if she is anything less perfect, and no matter the situation this suffocating anxiety grips her every action as she tests people’s reaction to her, I was on cloud nine for all of act 1, other reviews seem to dislike the slow past of that part as it all takes place in one slow day with lots of flashbacks, but I loved marinating in Elizabeth’s inner world as I hadn’t be able to before

Act 2 is where some complicated feelings mixed in, and to talk about then completely I’m gonna go into spoilers.  If you are interested in it so far or tend to like my writing of worn-down girls trying to survive in worlds where their image can decide their fate, then I recommend it.  For full effect it helps to have read Frankenstein since there is so much of the novel is tied to the original and it pays a lot of love to the cultural icon it has become as a whole, but apparently other reviewers have enjoyed it without that prior knowledge.  If you are still on the fence/don’t care about spoilers, let’s dive into the next 2/3rds of it

First of all, this novel reads so much like fanfic.  I say that as not a measure of the quality of its writing, bc at its core it is fanfic, and since it falls into that genre, it shapes many of its strengths and flaws.  For example, Act 2 is the weakest section of all bc so much of the plot is recounting plot point by plot point or the original, and aside while the POV switch makes certain events, like Justine’s death hit harder and in a different way, it also inherits some less tightly-written sections, like Victor traveling to England to build the bride.  But in a way I can excuse that because by then I had started to treat it like fanfiction and took that as a sunk cost that couldn’t be avoided bc of the format

What really shows that this is fanfic is the fact that rather than simply retell the original, it uses the material left behind to build an original story of a woman trying to find an identity that has never felt her own, and I don’t find any fault in that because I have done the same, hell I’ve written about blonde teenage Elizabeths in the 19th century who tailor their entire personality for their dark, morally ambiguous cousin that they are in love with it, but because I can so closely relate to the mere concept of writing a story like this, I find I am much more critical of matters of personal taste than I would be otherwise

To put it bluntly, TDDEF’s Victor is not Shelley’s Victor.  And while it tries to play that “untold story” angle to explain the discrepancies, it does not work.  Here Victor is like one step away from being a literal demon child, lacking any care for anyone besides Elizabeth and always ready to cut someone/thing open with a knife.  He is completely obsessed with her, being inspired to conquer death not because of losing his mother, but because he realized her morality when she catch a life-threatening illness, and while it works for the story TDDEF wants to tell, it is not the Victor I know as he goes on to do even worse things than Shelley’s version

Now again I am faced with having done the same before, taking much less morally gray characters and in fanon dying then a few shades darker, but while this is nitpicky, it makes a lot of the details between the two works not line up so well, even before the narratives diverge

Like for example I never bought Victor’s love or even obsession for Elizabeth here, like Shelley’s version they are often apart and even when together Victor is stuck in his studies, yet here she becomes his entire motivation, part of this was because TDDEF wanted to highlight the problematic elements of the original relationship, but I feel like it still could have been done while veering closer to the original depiction, like despite all Elizabeth does for him, he treats her more like a pet he has to remember to feed and allows her to go through a lot of trauma to save his own skin, that’s still a damning portrayal without falling into the evil cartooniness TDDEF’s version sometimes does, but even within that criticism I can see my biases getting in the way bc I like and write male love interests who mean well but can still fall into toxic behaviors

Regardless, Act 3 is where the narrative really comes into its own, and while I still prefer Act 1, it preferable to the safeness and predictability of Act 2.  It is completely unsubtle about the message it wants to send, and while I can’t fault it for it, that’s when the YA label really starts to show, my feelings about the YA genre could fill an entirely different post, but to explain what I mean about feeling YA  in the most simplest terms, well I would have absolutely adored it if I was younger, sometimes it may get cheesy or self-indulgent but I know if I was the target audience it would have shaken my entire worldview on what books could do and say.  And a lot of that is bc it caters to the adolescent appeal of fanfic, like the narrative could have ended two chapters before its true end, but it instead goes on what feels like a fan’s post-canon imaginings, which while a bit too sappy and simplistic for me, is the type of closure younger me would be starved for

So I am in an odd position, feeling on one hand almost betrayed for it drifting from the vision I found perfect, but also knowing it did so to be true to a vision younger!me would have needed, I guess the best way to describe it is that while Act 1 is still something I personally enjoy, the rest is something I more appreciate from an academic/impersonal perspective.  And while I can’t say I am completely satisfied to be there, I feel like maybe a high school girl who reads Frankenstein for her English class and falls for Elizabeth like I did may now be able to find others giving her the type of love she needs Elizabeth to get

[pmtexts]

Tic Tic Tok

⤑ Prompt: Everyone is injected with two permanent watches on their arm. One is the time that they have left until they meet their soulmate. The other is the time that they have left until they die.

⤑ Word count: ~2k

⤑ Angst, Soulmate!Yugyeom

–

When I was born the doctors implemented this watch-band thingy to my wrist that told me how long I have left until I die. I basically have three more months at this point, and I’m only 19.

I was also given another watch-band thingy that told me how much longer I have left until I meet my soulmate. It hasn’t turned on yet bc my soulmate hasn’t gone to get his turned on. That’s the thing about the soulmate watch, you need to go to a specialist to get it turned on. So I guess my soulmate, whoever they are, either doesn’t believe in soulmates, or they just think I’ll be ugly. Ouch.

Ever since I was younger I had fantasized about my forever lover. “Maybe he’ll be a prince on horseback!” I wondered when I was 6. “Maybe he’ll be in some kind of band.” When I was 13 and boy-crazed for guys with instruments – I had always wanted the drummers. And now I wonder if I’ll ever even get the chance to meet him, since I have such little life left.

—-

Now here I am, 11pm and cramming in my Honors Biology homework for tomorrow and really wishing I had someone that I loved to help me with my stress.

‘I wish I was still 6 years old, because I really need my prince char-’

PING!!

Slowly and hesitantly, I looked down to where my soulmate band is, right under my life band.

3MO 2DAYS 01HR 00MIN 05SEC

Immediately my face went whiter than my bedsheets. My eyes shifted slightly upwards where I read my life band.

3MO 2DAYS 01HR 00MIN 04SEC

The two watches were in sync.

‘I meet my soulmate…at the same time I die?’

—-

“Your soulmate must be Jesus himself. Why else would your soulmate meet you at the same time that you die?”

For the next few weeks after my soulmate band lit up with the, now dreadful, numbers, this is the majority of comments I’d get from people. I get that they’re trying to make me feel more lighthearted about this whole ordeal, but I’d really appreciate if they would just shut up sometimes. I know now that this is probably a glitch in the system. I mean, why would my soulmate be the one who kills me? 

“Maybe we should go get it checked out, like, I’m sure there must be glitches in the system. After all, this only started about a year before I was born, so it was still fairly new when you were born. They must have accidentally programmed the same number twice.” Sometimes, my best friend Jackson actually has good ideas. “Okay yeah, that’s reasonable. Let’s go downtown next week to their regional headquarters and settle this out, because I don’t think Jesus would be that great of a match for me.” I responded back, with the last remark resulting in Jackson erupting in his ever-so contagious laughter.

So with that, next week has rolled around and we’re now standing in front of the ominous government building about 20 miles away from campus. I feel a hand reach over to grab mine with a little squeeze, and I squeeze back while looking up and giving Jackson a half smile. He could definitely see the hesitation lingering in my eyes, as he gave me an even bigger smile back. One that told me everything would work out alright.

Gulping, I look down at my two bands to get an update until D-Day.

2MO 15DAYS 10HR 42MIN 34SEC

‘Maybe they just got my soulmate day mixed up with my death day. It’s not like I’ll probably be terminally ill in two months.’ My mind reassured me. 

Taking in my last breath of fresh air, I let go of Jackson’s hand and entered the building.

The building looked like any other office building, you’ve got your waiting area, mass amounts of elevators, a big area for receptionists – probably one for each big area of business here – and there is also a few families crying on their way out, having just had to send their dead loved one away. We made our way over to the receptionist for the soulmate handlers, a very tall and handsome man with died blonde hair. 

Mark Tuan was what his name tag read. “Hello and welcome to the Soulmate Center. Do you have an appointment or would you like a walk in consultation?” He asked with a vibrantly bright smile. “Could we have a walk in?” I asked. “Sure thing, just sit on one of the couches and I will send a request for you two. Guess your match didn’t work out huh?” He responded, while looking at both of us and shaking his head. ‘Gross, he thinks I’m with Jackson!’ “Oh nono, I’ve already found my match, is her that has the problem.” Jackson referred to me and the receptionist nodded, mumbling a sorry out. 

“I just need your name to send out the request Miss.” Mark handed me a paper and pen to write out my name. Once I did so, I slid it back to him and Jackson and I took a seat on one of their fading red couches. “You’d think that for a place so high tech, they’d update their furniture every now and then.” I disgustingly whispered while pulling at a failing string attachment.

“Hey sugar relax, it’ll all be settled out in a little bit muffin. Just sit tight baby.” Mocked Jackson, alluding to the mix up. “Gross dude, I’d never go for you even IF you were my soulmate. I don’t want someone who does their laundry once a month.” I lightly hit his arm.

He started to defend himself, something about not wanting the colors to fade easily, when he got interrupted by a calling out of my name from a technician. I got up quickly and peered down at my wrist, seeing that I was supposedly ten minutes closer to both tragedies displayed. Taking another deep breath in, I strode over to the man who called out to me.

“Hello Miss Y/N, I’m Mr. Park. I understand you have an issue you would like to discuss about your soulmate watch?” He shook my hand and led me down the hall and took one right turn and then a left turn before arriving at the third door on the left.

“Hi yes, I think there must be something faulty in your system.” I raised my right wrist to show him the two identical countdowns and his face fell.

“Oh no, no no no there’s nothing wrong with our system. We’ve been trying to see if there’s any way that we could fix this, assuming our coding got messed up. I’m sorry to say this but there’s absolutely no way to fix this. I know it may sound crazy, but you will fall at the hands of your lover.”

Tears immediately started streaming down my face as each word he said was like a knife jabbing into my heart, which was ironic given the situation at hand. “The day that your soulmate came in, our servers immediately sent out red signals and sirens in my office after I turned on his timer. I checked into the system to see what went wrong, and I found you. Now, with this visit I was hoping you were requesting to shut off your timer and forget about this whole situation.”

At this point he was rambling on and on, trying to better asses the situation. However, all I could hear and feel was the world slowly going numb. I’m never going to have my prince charming. I’m never going to have my drummer boy in some punk band. 

At least I’ll get to see him. Once.

—-

Everyone talks about wanting to live up their last moments in life by throwing massive ragers or breaking petty laws to run from the police. I, however, have spent the last two months cooped up in my apartment with only my roommate and Jackson to keep me company, and it’s generally been just Jackson.

“Y/N, tomorrow’s the day. You can’t spend today just in a ball surrounded by your blanket’s and pillows.” Jackson wined, trying to pull my blankets off of me. “If I never get up though, maybe I won’t have to face him ever and I can just continue living my life, never needing a soulmate and dying at a normal age. Or even a car crash when I’m in my 40s.” I barely made out, as my face was buried in some pillows.

“Fine, whatever. Just don’t die thinking I couldn’t have done anything.” Jackson spit out while throwing the blanket part he had in his hands back onto me.

As soon as I heard the front door slam, signaling Jackson’s leave, warm tears filled my cheeks. The next few hours of the day were filled with different scenarios running through my mind of how I’ll die tomorrow.

At round 5pm, I finally got up. Not from some sudden want to go out and live my life, but purely because of hunger. I went into the kitchen to make some ramen, when I heard the news on in the living room. Putting the pot set to boil, I left the kitchen and sat on one of the chairs in the living room to watch what the people speaking had to say about my city.

“A string of breakins have been occurring in the apartment complex near the mall. An armed robber has been breaking into apartments and attempted to shoot some of the owners while raiding anything that they can. If you live near or in the complex, we suggest leaving the premise immediately and seek other shelter tonight and the rest of the time until the authorities catch the robber.”

The only thing that brought me out of my trance was hearing the boiled water spill over into the fire, singeing. I hopped off of the chair, turned off the water and ran into my room to grab a pair of clothes as well as other necessities and drove myself over to Jackson’s apartment complex, a 20 minute drive away.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNO-

“What do you WANT?!” Jackson threw open the front door and I squeezed under the available space under his arms. “Jackson I need to spend the night and I changed my mind I want to do something tomorrow night I don’t care where we go but I need to live for my last night we can go downtown and go drinking or we can completely go to another city I don’t care I just need to get out tomorrow night” I rambled trying to catch my breath in between words.

—-

The morning and afternoon went normally, I crashed on Jackson’s couch last night. Now, it is 8pm and we’re both getting ready to drink the night away. Last night, when I recovered my breath and my sanity, I better explained to Jackson the situation and that I might miss him tonight if he planned to come to my apartment. Plus, my room mate is out of town visiting her family so he won’t possibly get her either.

However, my life band never changed it’s time. It kept ticking. So I decided that it must just keep running no matter what so I forgot about it and continued getting ready for tonight.

“Ready?” I looked over in the mirror to Jackson’s resting body on the door frame. I put my last swatch of lip-gloss on my lips and nodded, moving through the door frame Jackson had just resided in.

I took a fresh breath in when I stepped outside, and made my way behind Jackson towards the Uber he had ordered us. 

“Let’s spend one of my possible last nights right by getting shitfaced.” I reached out to Jackson’s hand, giving it a quick squeeze before getting in the backseat.

—-

I could barely walk on my own two feet now. I lost count of how many shots I had after five and how many bottles of beer after my third. I didn’t realize, but I accidentally left Jackson alone in the club when I stumbled out of the doors, almost falling flat on my face and thus shattering my almost empty bottle in my hands.

On my way back to standing straight, I caught a glimpse of my band. 

0MO 00DAYS 00HR 00MIN 10SEC

Drunkenly, I started counting down as if it were new years eve. “10..9..8HIC7..6..5..4HIC3..2..1!” I took my last swig of beer in my hand.

A deafening shot rang through the air. I fall back on my back. I look up to see the most handsome man with equally stunning eyes and hair. His black attire fades into the surrounding black of the night.

~~~~~

Oo my first story on here! I hope you guys enjoyed it and didn’t want to kill me the whole time :) please send feedback about my writing and maybe request something along the way ;))

[matazz]

entries

diary entries of roy endoza

here’s some journal entries of roy endoza that i wrote for the duration of the campaign. for the most part, i kinda wrote these in my twitter drafts just to write down roy’s thoughts. sometimes to remember events that happened, and sometimes just to vent out roy’s feelings to myself. i ended up saving these on a document for safe keeping and i’m glad i wrote these.

‪entry 47‬

‪i miss milo so much. his laugh, his eyes, his smile. i would do anything to have that back.‬ ‪i know its my fault he’s gone. its only been a few months, but i’ll fix that; all of it. no matter how long it takes, no matter what happens. i’ll find some way to do it.‬ ‪entry 53‬ ‪i’ve retrieved a letter from a dream telling me to visit latham and retrieve a key. i’m curious, so i’ll check it eventually. it was definitely odd.‬ ‪entry 55‬ ‪i met a young boy. his name is fox. he’s some sort of shapeshifter. he’s quiet, but his presence is nice company. he also received a similar letter to mine. i have a feeling we’ll be travelling for a while.‬ ‪entry 62‬ ‪we retrieved the key & met some other ppl with letters too. we’re heading to a trinket store back in origin now. i dont wish for them to know of my life so i’ve found a way to steer them as far from possible to finding out about myself. i’ll probably visit ma too.‬ ‪entry 63‬ ‪an elf woman named leera attacked us after i told her i wasnt going to give her this key. i dont like her. she seemed very cocky.‬ ‪entry 65‬ ‪delilah is kind.. i feel like i’m able to trust her. i asked her a question about my goals, vaguely, and it turns out that ayce asked a similar question. based on the message in his later i get the feeling he’s undead.‬ ‪entry 66‬ ‪i told ayce the biggest con in all of history.. but i confirmed he’s undead. i have more hope in my goals now that i know its possible. he hugged me bc he thinks we’re similar. i dont usually allow people to do that but i’m sad for him. i wish i could ask more about him. ‬‪entry 69‬ ‪i’m getting closer to ayce, unexpectedly, but good for me. i need his information.‬ ‪he talks to me a lot about his life; i think he’s become dependent on me which is easy for me. its hard for him to see i’m using him when i lie to his face.‬ ‪entry 72‬ ‪we’re travelling to copper coast now for another key. if it werent for ayce, i wouldnt see any other reason for me to come. fox is still around, but i feel like he's doing his own thing. the other two arent big presences for me to care about.‬ ‪entry 73‬ ‪atlas is a werewolf? i didnt think those were real. this group keeps getting stranger. first a shapeshifter, second an actual living zombie, third a werewolf.‬ ‪ive continued my lie to the rest of them. they all seem to have believed me, strangely enough‬ ‪entry 74‬ ‪copper coast was very pleasant. i wish to come back someday.‬ ‪entry 88‬ ‪this trip to clandesteine has been a disaster.. what the honest fuck‬ just happened ‪entry 90‬ ‪fox told everybody about himself, finally. i feel this huge sense of pride?? i’m very proud of him. i dont understand why i feel so attached to him but i adore him so much‬ ‪entry 92‬ ‪((incoherent scribbles, kinda like “vsdjfsasifwnqkosdkv”)) i think i accidentally implied to ayce that i love him romantically and i think he loves me too... i’m freaking out and i dont know how to react... i think he thinks i’m cool and romantic but i didnt mean to be. ‪entry 93‬ in all honesty, i just wanted to tell him he needs to be more cautious of me. a part of me wishes he could figure it out himself so i dont have to tell him. ‪seriously! i dont know how i did that! i do love and adore him too but i feel like shit.. i dont deserve him, especially considering who i am. on the other hand, i hope he never finds out the truth about me.‬ ‪entry 94‬ ‪oh my god. atlas killed a man and ayce and fox proceeded to tell the guards. i feel sick. i’m currently at home but if they say my name at witness testimony i’m royally fucked. i dont know. i might just run for it and live in myr’s peak. maybe no one will find me.‬ ‪entry 95‬ ‪the group managed to get bailed out using ty’s name. benefits of being friends with rich people?‬ ‪fox found my poster though, so he saved my name during eyewitness testimony. i told him the truth. its been the first time i told someone how i really felt. he wants me to tell ayce but hes the last person i can tell. ‪entry 97‬ ‪we’re in lunarden! it feels nostalgic to be back.

i want to go back to every place i miss. i took ayce to that me and nori used to go to back in high school. i think shes currently performing in solardome? i miss her‬ entry 97.2 ‪i came up with a few different ways to complete my goal. i have a few more probing questions, but i will have to ask later. i think i’m getting closer to the answers‬ entry ‪97.3‬ ((scribbled out)) ‪i havent had sex in a while. i’ve wondered this before but realized it was an inappropriate question to ask. i wonder if ayce’s dick works? it probably doesnt. this is so sad. i dont know how i’m going to fuck him if thats true.. yikes‬ ‪entry 98‬ ‪i’m planning to get completely smashed once we get to solardome. i feel like i deserve it.. ive been pretty stressed and havent got laid. i’m crying remembering that ayce might not even be an option.‬ ‪entry 98.2 ((lost)) ‪i love ayce so much, and its confusing. am i just sexually frustrated? am i just lonely? am i just sad? i feel guilty because it tears me apart. im confused because i love milo still, too. i know i should tell him the truth, its whats right but i know he’ll hate me. i dont know what to do. (extra note inbetween the pages, torn out: to mom. i love you venhfrhdy mcuh. thank you fir everhything. yes. roy.) entry 98.3 what happens if i succeed? i hope ayce doesnt kill me. entry 100 ‪good morning. ayce & i are officially dating. were in solardome atm; i dont remember much of last night but i remember thinking he‘s beautiful. is it wrong to fall for him?‬ ‪entry 101‬ ‪good evening. i saw ms winters. she was undead, just like ayce. she died a year ago. her soul was lost though. i killed what remained of her undead corpse. i assume she was trying to remain in this world.. i’m scared that this will happen to him too. maybe ill have to do the same to him. entry 101.2 i hope ayce's soul is able to sustain in his body for longer. i cant afford to lose him. entry 101.3 ‪the blackness on my fingers has risen up more than it has before. its almost hard to write with my hands anymore. i assume its bc the gods know what i'm doing & are against it, so they're trying to give me more recoil than usual. but the last time i killed an undead corpse was in my house 6 months ago, and i promise that the last time i will use it is when i bring milo back. (torn note inbetween the pages: hi ayce. its unrealistic you'll ever find this but there's some things i want to say. back when we first met, i lied to you as a reflex when you asked me why i'm dealing with necromancy. to be honest, i could kind of gather you were undead, but i still lied anyway. my story is personal, its hard for me to be honest. i know i'm an idiot, and i'm sorry i used you. to be truthful, i still am a horrible person and for the entirety of our relationship i've already known that i was using you and i've felt so guilty about that. my feelings are complicated, but i've never lied when i said i loved you, and i still do; but i still want to bring milo back. i made a mistake and i want to fix that. the truth is that i still love him too. i know you deserve better. i'm sorry about lying to you. roy) entry 102 a dragon made us experience our dreams and nightmares. jade's scared of blindness and bugs. a valid fear, in a way. and she was dreaming of doing shows. i think it was supposed to display a feeling of happiness and joy, but it was just spooky since we all experienced her dreams with no sound. i never realized how scary it was to be deaf until i experienced it. atlas' was morbid. people were dying and there was so much gore. then there were people saying they owned him. i knew he was a bad person but it was scary to see all of that again. he dreamt of a workshop with a girl and a young boy. it seemed sweet, with a tinge of nostalgia. i would have never expected him to have dreams. he just seems like a horrible person with no sympathy to me, but i guess he has feelings. i still think he should go to jail, but i feel like he'll just try to kill me if i say anything instead. fox's was sad. we got thrown into a void

of empty space where we were surrounded only by dopplegangers and a vaguely humanoid figure. he seemed so lonely and upset. he's scared of being forgotten by us and that made me so sad. i adore him, and he's grown a lot since we first met. i gave him a hug when we went into his dream sequence. i hope he knows i will never forget him. his dream was sweet. he just wants to save people and hang out with us still. i think he'll go far, and i would love to be there for him still when all of this is over.c (the rest of the pages with entry 102 are torn out) when i saw milo in the old house again just being his happy lovely self i felt miserable and happy at the same time. i love him so much, and i knew i missed him already but seeing him again just made me feel so much love for him all over again. it just makes me miss him more. it's hard not to cry thinking about what i've done to him. i wish he could come back. ayce's was hard to watch. i witnessed myrkul force ayce to choose between killing me and quri. ayce cried as he couldn't make up his mind, and then i watched as i fell into a void. i felt sick and i wanted to puke. i thought ayce found out about me. i thought he knew that i was using him for necromancy, but when i asked him about it, he told me that he thought i killed him with quri. i... personally don't have any reason to ever kill him so that was a bit sickening to think of. i dont ever want to kill anyone. i dont even have anyone i hate enough to want to murder. the only person i hate enough to want to kill is me. i know based on what i said before i guess it might have seemed that bad; but haha... i would never ever want to do that. putting people down at hospital was rough. god, putting ms winters down was rough and she was already dead. i love him, but it's probably better if we end the relationship and just stay as friends? he's already witnessed me still loving milo, and he thinks i murdered him... i'll try to clear up his misunderstanding, but it'll be hard to without giving more of myself away. this relationship has so many problems. entry 103 a new discovery. the world isn't flat? the god's are using their powers to “lock off” the rest of the world. apparently sanctuary is only a small part of the world. that was a really weird discovery to find out? it's kind of hard to believe, but at the same time, not. apparently they keys we've been collecting hold the respective power of the gods, and they're used to “open” the gateway. i have no idea what that means. apparently beshaba wants to use our keys to do exactly that. and also they can kill the god's? entry 112 when we came back to lunarden we discovered that delilah and allen were kidnapped by atlas’ syndicate. i knew atlas was trouble. i hate having to associate with him. we’re going to save them yet it makes me nervous. entry 114 i feel like i almost died in there. we saved the others and no one was hurt though. we’re going to trip back to lunarden and then travel through the travel gates back to origin to try avoid people. allen mentioned something about strange readings. i have a feeling i know what it is. i’m going to ask lathandar questions. entry 115 nvm we encountered leera. this group genuinely scares me. I’m travelling with people who are down with murder. i should seperate. she uncovered my posters to them and i want to die. she also mentioned the last key at a ball. i need to bounce. lathandar also confirmed my suspicions last night. entry 116 fox left before i could. i feel bad. like maybe it was my fault. i miss him. we have to continue though. entry 117 its so hard to find a bag of holding. i just want to have this spirit stone around without having it in the open. entry 118 we’re in origin now and delilah let me rent out her bag of holding. an absolute kind soul. we bought tickets to the ball. so expensive. i wish i didnt do that. entry 123 i’ve done so much in preperation of whats to come. Soon. i hope it works. i’m going to travel to solardome and investigate those readings. entry 124 suspicions

confirmed. miss winters is alive. she captured my biological father. a strange way to meet him. i cant see him as my father. i told her about the key, and we’re going to rearrange our circle. we’ll still use the spirit stones, just as a backup. i’m scared. i’m terrified. i dont know if it will work and i dont know what will happen if it does. i know the gods will be mad but i’ll deal with the consequences when it happens. i’m sure i won’t be a champion anymore. we’re doing this on friday evening, which means i’m no longer attending the gala. they don’t need my assistance anyway.

[stanmxm]

im youngmin as a prince

this is my first time doing this bear with me please-- it’s also hellaaa long so i put it under the cut to save those who dont want to scroll past the whole thing lol

is highly highly highly respected and loved by everyone in his kingdom

hes so sweet to all his people like he’ll go out of his way to check on them and make sure they’re all doing well bc he loves his kingdom so much

even sent christmas cards and extra food to all the households in the town during the holidays like WHAT A SWEETHEART

anyways

he loves his kingdom so deeply you can imagine how on edge he becomes when his dad is suddenly ill and about to pass

bc now it’s time for youngmin to step in as king and like?? he’s nOT READY

but he can’t let his kingdom NOT have a king like his people need a leader-- and his mother bless her but she doesn’t really have leadership skills rip so youngmin is their only hope

BUT he’s not married.. he can barely talk to girls lmao but it’s against royal law (?) to become a king without a queen so

that’s where you come in

your family is more into the whole “TAKE ALL THE POWER” part of royalty so they really really want to take some control of as many kingdoms as possible

but brand new kingdom (SHOOT ME) (that’s youngmin’s kingdom btw) is way too big and powerful to overtake so what better way to gain some power than to give away their daughter aka you amirite

word gets around pretty fast that youngmin is looking for a wife so they ship you off HELLA QUICK LIKE YOU’RE OFF ON A HORSE BEFORE U CAN BLINK THEY’RE WAVING AND SHIT LIKE “GO GET U THAT MAN BRING US BACK A RICH POWERFUL HEIR”

ur mad the whole way there like tf what if you don’t like youngmin he could be an asshole

needless to say that when you get there he is in fact an asshole lol

there are a bunch of girls there tryna marry him i dont blame them like bitch sign me up and he just lines them up and is scanning them up and down

and ur like??? until he stops and says “mary’s dad has four children, three of them are named monday, tuesday, and wednesday; what’s the fourth child’s name?”

and now ur like ??????? wtf is he doing

until some girl on the opposite end of u yells all confidently with a really loud voice “thursday!!” and you just

you try to keep ur mouth shut and be nice but you just

“dumbass the fourth child is mary”

you realize that you swore and it was hella disrespectful so you open your mouth to apologize until

“find her a dress. i’m marrying that one.” youngmin points straight to you and says before walking out and you’re like wHAT

within a few days all your stuff is unpacked (into your own room bc youngmin wont let you near his) and you’ve had a wedding and get settled in as the new queen of brand new kingdom

all the while youngmin hasn’t said word to you? the only thing that you’ve heard leave his mouth since you were chosen was “i do” and das it

a few weeks pass and still, nothing from youngmin. the most he gives you is glares as you pass each other and requests for you to sign documents regarding the kingdom and stuff

but in the meantime you have gotten to know his mother who LOVES you and catches you up on the kingdom, how things work, what the people are like, and she even gave you a tour of the town once so you could meet everyone

you want to ask her some things about youngmin but figure it’s not your place.. so you go to the people instead LMAO

you visit a few families and shops and they all say the same thing: that youngmin is extremely sweet and warmhearted and that they’re all so blessed to have him as their king

you’re just like?? we’re talking abt the same youngmin right lol

one day you visit this little old lady’s florist shop in the corner of town and speak with her a little bit

she tells you that since spring season just started, you should prob look out a bit for youngmin bc his allergies start acting up then hands you a bouquet of periwinkle flowers and says

“these are his favorite and they don’t make him sick, can you give them to him for me and tell him to take care of himself? he must be awfully tired”

YOUR HEART IS CRYING OF COURSE YOU GOTTA GO GIVE HIM THE FLOWERS FOR THE CUTE ELDERLY LADY

that night you reluctantly go to youngmin’s office

you creek the door open just a bit to see him tugging at his hair as he looks over paperwork, obviously stressed over something

you clear your throat and knock on the door, causing youngmin to look up at you but he seems to just get more upset lol

“can i help you?” he has this really cold tone and ur like shit who put ur panties in a twist

“i visited mrs.kim this afternoon-”

“at the florist shop?”

“uh yeah, her, and she asked me to give these to you” you pull the flowers from behind the door and youngmin’s mood went 0 to 100 REAL QUICK

it’s like all the angry washed away from his face and his eyes just light up and he’s all smiley HE’S SO PRECIOUS

“periwinkles! those are my favorite- i can’t believe she remembered!” he happily stands and takes the flowers from you as you step into the middle of the room

“she asked me to tell you that you should take care of yourself” youre trying not to look him in the eye cause even tho he was being cute af you know he can be scary

youngmin’s smile starts to frown and now he’s pouting WHAT A CUTE BABY and he’s like “i haven’t visited her at all since i’ve become king. i haven’t visited ANY of my people”

he grabs one of the chairs closest to him and sits down, putting his head in his hands after setting the flowers on the table

youre kind of just standing there not knowing what to do until you hear sniffs and soft gasps and youre like omfg he’s crying

so you just awkwardly pat him on the back.. and say “do you.. wanna talk about it..”

turns out youngmin did wanna talk about it lmao he tells you how scared he is, says that he doesn’t want to fail his people and feels so stressed about everything

you tell him everything that he needed to hear: that all his people loved him and even if it meant that he couldn’t see them as often as he’d like he’s doing what’s best for everyone and according to the people you’ve talked to, he’s being a pretty amazing king

you end up being his listening ear after that-- he trusts in you more and talks to you when making decisions and at first you’re like? you really trust me with this

and he LAUGHS wow that was the first time you heard his laugh it was magical and he was like “i chose you because you weren’t stupid, remember?”

and you’re like OHHHH NOW IT MAKES SENSE

time passes and you and youngmin become closer.. it turns out that youngmin was being an asshole to you bc he truly believed that you should be in love before getting married, and felt that he was being cheated out of that bc of the whole situation

he was also kind of uncomfortable with u being apart of things because he didn’t know you that well so he didnt know if he trusted you BUT now you two are close and he needs you for every decision!!

one day after a long day of work and going over papers, you just so happen to fall asleep in youngmin’s office on the couch

and youngmin was trying to be considerate and everything right bc your bedroom was pretty far (it was really just a few halls down) but his was right there so why not

like

just take you to his room and cuddle you all night KJLFJKDFJKFD

needless to say you were surprised when you woke up in youngmin’s arms the next morning

happily surprised ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

after that you started “accidentally” falling asleep in his office more often

and youngmin would always “be considerate” and let you sleep in his bed

it came to a point where your maids got so sick of it that they packed up all ur shit for you and moved it into his room without you two knowing

at first yall were like “what?1!??1! no we totally aren’t living together!1!!1″

yall never tried to move your stuff out

it didn’t take long after that for youngmin to confess to you or for you to happily accept

sometime during your relationship you and youngmin get to spend a rare sunday afternoon in bed cuddling and just listening to each other’s heartbeats

until youngmin says “babe.. let’s get married”

and you snort and hold up your hand with your wedding ring

“youngmin, we ARE married”

your husband sits up and shakes his head, pulling you into his chest and leaning his head on yours

“i mean a real wedding where we can actually express how much we love each other without all the pressure and stuff for press. i just want to show everyone how much i truly love you”

GOODBYE I’M DYING HE’S THE CUTEST

before you know it there are wedding bells and you’re walking down the aisle wearing a dress you chose yourself this time and there’s your husband actually smiling at you with as much love as he can muster

the wedding goes amazing, your loved ones are all there to congratulate you two on being truly in love as well as the town to celebrate the greatest king and queen duo brand new kingdom has ever had

and there are lots, and lots, of periwinkles

[urmomification]

hey lol god decided i will write more Right Now

AND AND AND DREAM GETS A LETTER FROM HIS KINGDOM THAT HIS FATHER HAS FALLEN ILL AND IS DYING AND DOESNT MENTION IT TO GEORGE BC HE KNOWS GEORGE WILL SAY NO BUT LEAVES IT SOMEWHERE WHERE GEORGE FINDS IT AND GEORGE 'what is this dream? why didnt u ask? ill let u go, ur not my hostage' and dream 'i know, but at this point i dont know if i want to, sure hes my father but after learning about everything that hes done to everyone, to you, i dont know if i should' to which george goes 'hes still your father and its your decision, ill escort u there personally if u wish to go, im sorry u felt like u couldnt ask that of me' so dream decides to go, george coming w and as they go thru dreams kingdom, its in shambles, houses are falling apart, people live in the streets and clearly they dont have enough food. but the castle? tip top condition, not a brick out of place and more guards than they can honestly afford. dreams devastated, he knew what george was teaching him was true but seeing it in reality is something else, seeing your people suffer at the hands of ur own flesh and blood is a guilt u cant shake no matter how hard you try. they make their way to the castle, the people throwing small rocks and yelling at them the whole way, both at dream and george for different reasons. at dream for 'abandoning them' and at george for 'taking their only hope' george pays them no mind but it clearly gets to dream, but neither of them say anything. dream visits his dad while george waits outside, getting dirty looks from everyone everywhere from the wait staff to the guards outside the kings room. theyve clearly been told he was the bad guy despite giving them enough food to live through a cold harsh winter. he knows that the king would keep most of it for himself to feed himself better than everyone else so he assumes lots of the people didnt see any of said food therefore blaming george for the downfall of their well being. dream talks to his father blah blah blah 'dad ur a bad person why do u do this to ur people' 'bc im king i deserve to eat better than them i deserve to be higher than them' 'what makes you so much more important than them? a crown? a name?' blah blah blah yk the usual dream and george make their way out of the kingdom and at some point dream stops his horse and storms off into the forest dream calling after him telling him its getting dark out they need to keep moving but dreams gone he needs to blow off steam hearing that ur father is a terrible man and literally confirming it w him is a monumental feeling so hes frantically running his hands thru his hair and groaning in frustration really trying to avoid physically lashing out, george ties up their horses to keep them from running away and he trudges after dream talking abt how 'its late if we dont keep moving we're gonna get mugged or something we cat stay here dream cmon' and he finds dream sitting at the base of some massive old tree w his head buried in his knees and 'dream what are u doing? are u ok?' and dream just fuckinnn spins around and punches the fucking tree (REALLY busting up his hand) and starts screaming and pacing abt how he knew george wasnt lying to him and how he knew everything he was saying was the truth but hearing his father say the things he did is so so much worse than he thought it would be and hes pacing around his hand is probably broken and hes practically having a panic attack and george is just. standing there. WHAT IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO IN THIS SITUATION. mans is so emotionally repressed how is he supposed to comfort a crying man MUCH LESS ONE HAVING A PANIC ATTACK W A BROKEN HAND????? so he just. he grabs dream and hugs him. dream knows hes not a touchy guy hes quite the opposite actually, never touching someone unless he absolutely have to so george hugging him is just. a lot. dream hugs him back and balls the fabric of georges shirt in his fists and cries into georges shoulder while george just. there there and awkward pats his back and rubs circles in his hips bc hes literally like a half a foot shorter than him and eventually

dreams knees buckle or sumn idk and they end up just kneeling in the forest while dream pulls himself together and eventually he stops crying and the leave silently not mentioning anything of it until they get back to georges castle (far later than they shouldve) and george takes care of dreams hand 'sorry i broke down back there' 'its ok, ur under a lot of stress right now im more worried abt ur hand than anything else tho, worried that u might have caused some permanent damage to something' continuing to inspect his hand, dream pulls it back 'george no seriously thank u for looking after me back there. it was immature of me to react like that and did something reckless, i put us in danger by staying out past dark we couldve been mugged, or or i dunno we couldve been hurt, you couldve gotten hurt the people there dont exactly like you-' 'dream its fine, nothing happened so theres nothing to worry abt, again, i understand why youd react like that and im not mad at you, let me look at ur hand' (god the tension of when someone is patching someone up and neither of them are talking holy shit dude im !!!!!! yeah <3) dream lets him, turns out he did break something, nothing too important but it does scar pretty bad forever a bittersweet reminder

dnf royalty!au bc i am a weak weak man

GUYS IM SO SORRY FOR THIS ONE

royalty au where george and dream are royals in opposing kingdoms and george isssss like idk 27-29 and dream is 21-23 but george's dad died when he was likeeeee 16 or 17 so hes been king since then and dream is still prince in his own kingdom but his father is old but georges father and dreams father didnt get along when georges father was still alive and dreams father insists on carrying out the rivalry that they had even though george literally paid him to shut him up, theyve been at war for years, close to a decade, (both families squabbling for more. both families have had issues for generations) w georges kingdom not losing much but dreams losing men, money, food and other resources bc his dad was a selfish ruler. at some point famine takes over dreams kingdom and george offers the king enough food to feed his whole kingdom for the winter in exchange for the kings only heir and the end of the war ('i will give you enough food to feed your whole country for one winter if you remove all your men from the battlefields and leave your only heir under my care, promise me the end of your bloodlines rule and i will make sure you live through the winter') (dreams dad struggled w having kids so losing his only heir would be a big deal) dreams dad never let him leave the castle often so he doesnt fully understand the state of his country but he understands that this war has wrecked their country and theyre on the brink of collapse so he willingly goes w george (''''''willingly'''''' meaning he gave himself up despite his fathers protests w the plan of sneaking back somehow) so george provides food for dreams country and dream follows george and basically lives by his side at all times??? idk what role this would be called but ykkkkk basically dream follows him around as george just runs his country and hes a cold a mericless ruler making all the decisions needed to make his country profit but he always makes sure to ensure the benefit of his people the people always work together and hes built shelters for the homeless and makes sure theres open opportunities for trading w other kingdoms and plenty of farms/food so they never suffer from famine and implemented a strong education system so everyone has a chance to excel in something. dream doesnt know much abt his own country bc his tutors and family always implied that their country was the best based solely on how well the upper class citizens were doing while there was a high homelessness rate and such, so dream always assumed 'if we're doing well everyone else should be doing just as well right?' bc he never knew any better but george got him a reliable tutor (techno, who also happened to be a war general/soldier whos a tutor while hes not deployed) and has people teach him to fight/defend himself (punz and sapnap bc i said so) and teach him how to be a strong respected ruler without being selfish and bigoted. when he first arrived in georges country he expected to be locked up and even potentially tortured bc hes the son of a king and bloodline who this country has been fighting w for generations but the people dont mind, hes given a good room and treated like royalty BC HE IS george only took him to his country to ensure the ending of dreams bloodline, not to make him miserable. also i take it back george isnt a 'cold and mericless ruler' hes just distant at first but dream sees him w his people and hes smiley and nice and open and charismatic and everyone loves him AND HES CONFUSED hes v distant w dream, not necessarily cold or anything more jsut hesitant? if that makes sense he really has no reason to be but he is and only around dream but eventually george takes him travelling to the peaceful parts of the kingdom, tutors him personally on specific topics (busy man doesnt have time for tutoring him all the time LOL) and teaches him to properly rule a country while still having the respect of ur people and having them like you to the point of wanting to help the country progress and perform well. dream sees this and wonders why his father never did this and george goes

on to explain bc his father was a 'greedy and corrupt leader in all honesty, im shocked he raised a kid as honest as urself' and dream talks abt how well his dad treated him and such and how he lost his mom young and how his dad was all he had and he really only showed dream his good side and really did try his hardest to be there for dream his whole life despite being a relatively distant father and george FINALLY OPENS UP TO HIM ABT HIS CHILDHOOD AND HOW HIS MOTHER WAS ACTUALLY KILLED MY MERCENARIES SENT BY DREAMS DAD WHEN GEORGE WAS 9 OR SUMN AND LOST HIS DAD ATTTT IDK FUCKIN 16 (mind u george only started tutoring dream after like 6 months of having him bc,,, distant) and dream apologizes profusely but george shuts him down bc 'its not ur fault its ur fathers, i dont mean to beat the dead horse but ur father isnt the man he showed u he is, i lost both of my parents to him so i took the thing he cares about most to get a way of subtle revenge, if that makes sense, i dont have to kill you to make him hurt' or sumn and dream realizes that george Hurts he lost both of his parents AS A KID to HIS FATHER he was forced into the throne at 16 bc no one else was responsible enough to do so and has been running the most successful kingdom in the area for over a decade while fighting a war w one hand and building a powerhouse of a country w the other, he managed to become the most responsible ruler before the age of 25, he gave up his childhood for the sake of his country and it shows hes a composed man, never taking time for himself and working himself to the bone having to put of w dreams fathers selfishness since the day he was brought to the throne

'ur father demanded gold for something my father had 'owed him', so i gave him gold. he father demanded food to repay a debt he made up, so i gave him food to silence him. he demanded a war as revenge on my ancestors so i killed his men. i killed and i killed and i killed until ur country couldnt take one more death, until one more life lost would cripple ur country beyond repair and forced him to beg me for resources and in exchange i got you. the single thing the would never give up and yet u gave yourself up bc u knew it was what was bet for your country, your people. youre nothing like your father dream and im sad ill never get to see you rule your own country' and dream just buries his head in his hands and puts his head on the table and just 'god george im so sorry and b4 u say its not my fault i know its not my fault my oblivion to everything that was happening my whole life everything happening to you, lead to so much suffering if i had just' 'dream its not your fault-' 'i know! i know its not but if i had just known-' 'dream. ur father kept u from knowing so u couldnt see what he was doing. there was nothing u could do. dont blame urself for what ur father did. ur his son but ur not him. im a terrible judge of character but i can see that much.' and dream stands up and hugs him over the table (this is the first time theyve ever gone out the way to touch each other in any way ft. v v v v v v v v touchstarved george x physically affectionate dream) and dream buries his head in georges neck and says 'i know its not my fault but that doesnt mean i cant say sorry for those who wont' and george just sits there and eventually just awkwardly pats the back of dreams head and they never talk abt it again

[seokjins]

wings vcr theory ???? aka what is happening

wow ok so i thought that people connecting every era of bts M/V’s were maybe looking into it too much (and as a lit student like. i know what it means to close read) but via this vid (@jinjjarevil on twitter) apparently I WAS WRONG and here is the reason why

1) the return of jin & the flower petals

as we are all familiar: the general consensus is that the 6 flower petals represent the rest of bts’ members (re: everyone EXCEPT jin), and it’s often agreed upon that he’s “filming” the boys because 1) he’s dead and dreaming them up or 2) he’s recalling all his memories with them or 3) the boys are dead and he’s the only one alive or 4) tbh pick ur poison i’m not gonna make this post a breeding ground for HYYH theory discourse, but i’m down to talk elsewhere !!!!

this part isn’t particularly groundbreaking, but it’s the first direct link to the young forever M/Vs

HOWEVER !!!!the difference arrives when the shot cuts to what jin is filming; it seems that there are seven people in frame? (this is at 0:52 in the video)

which leads me to believe that, because WINGS is a continuation of young forever, it makes sense that jin manages to find his way back to the boys - something that connects itself to a bs&t theory i have. the general rundown of my interp is the (6) members are literally works of art in the museum, and when jin starts to “crack” at the end of the M/V, it’s because he joins them as an art piece; they’ve drawn him in (kissing tae’s statue, the hands over his eyes, tae covering up jin’s face with his hands, jin stopping to stare at the painting near the beginning) and this is how jin ends up joining the rest of the group

2) the focus shot of jungkook

again, parallels to run, where there’s a solo part that’s just him staring into the cam (once after his fight with yoongi, again at the end of the M/V). he’s staring into jin’s camera and, subsequently, at jin himself - likely wondering 1) why he isn’t with the rest of the group or 2) who he is/what he’s doing

from a cinematographic point of view, this is probably just a cool transition shot, since the members all need their solo screentime + the cuts won’t be too sudden, but i like the repeating themes they’ve been using :0

3) taehyung's wings

in the beginning of the video, taehyung is seen matching himself up to a pair of wings in a box behind him. the glass to his left side says “YOUTH”

the main thing to note here is that the feathers are white, compared to the thousands of other shots of tae with black wings (M/V, trailers, teasers, you name it). once he breaks the box to access them (AKA shattering youth or the illusion thereof), taehyung strips away his innocence - similar to when he killed his father “i need you”

white is a color that often symbolizes purity/chastity while black is. well. has evil and sinister connotations, as well as a demonic undertone, if you want to get biblical (hold onto this thought now; it’ll return with my jimin analysis), so it makes sense they’d use this color palette with taehyung’s storyline

4) hoseok’s wings

hoseok is seen eating his snicker bar (lov my man omfg), but after he takes a bite, the wall behinds him shatters into color. in the first round, the camera pulls tighter in on him and the word “placebo” can be seen clearly behind hobi

i think this directly references the placebo effect, in which one’s condition improves/degrades depending on your mindset of your illness. in both eras, HYYH and wings short films, hoseok is often depicted dealing with drugs, pills, and medication. he and jimin are even seen in a hospital together (again, spanning both timelines), which leads me to believe that he’s using prescriptions to deal with the fact he’s suffering from something meds can’t cure. what is it? that’s a great question i only have vague answers to. it could be the fact that he’s missing his friends/bts family? is (still) suicidal? trying to cope with their loss? his condition has worsened after losing jimin, which is why he is in a max safety cell with all those pills pouring in through the walls? listen, who knows? i sure don’t, but i can definitely talk about the next shot!!!!!!!!!!! right afterwards, hoseok also gains a pair of wings, but notice they’re different than taehyung’s

these are his BME wings (they show up in his intro, u can go check it out if you want). his corrupted wings. his Bad Wings. and they come from the crossover of boy and evil.

boy = youth = wings MEETS evil = dark/cool toned colors (evil) = bony (feather) structure

^ is why his wings look the way they do (thank u @ opening shot of taehyung’s YOUTH/wing box haha)

5) progression of their lives/jimin’s solo shot

there are five (?) consecutive scenes with all the boys goofing off together. the vid quality’s pretty low so i can’t tell who is who, but it seems like they’re all just chilling. hanging out. being bros. etc. so i’m lead to believe the first three “windows” of light (bc each scene is separated by a long black column) are before any bts M/V timeline. then you have jihope in a hospital/nondescript room together - directly related to run and jimin’s wings short - in opposite beds, being playful like their pillow fight in run.

last there is the truck with all 6 of the boys in the trunk from run

these shots lead up to jimin in his blindfold, holding an apple in his hand (seen clearer in the actual vid)

this is his costume from bs&t/his solo stuff/is part of “lie’s” concept. the blindfold could mean many things, so i’ll focus on the apple for now. in his promo shots, he’s surrounded by many apples, something i was always confused about, BUT I AM NO LONGER !!don’t worry!!!

as bts has said multiple times, bs&t is about boys who fall to temptation, and what better symbol of temptation than eve in the garden of eden - the first woman who is unable to resist the forbidden fruit? DAMN THAT’S RIGHT !!!!!!! you can have him holding an apple - the figurehead of eve failing to resist her temptations and, therefore, the way jimin/bts fails to resist their temptations. this is why jimin’s holding the fruit in all his shots lol. it’s because he’s already picked the apple off the tree & “fallen” prey to his desires

6) Bangtan and the Curious Case of Looking Up

at the end of the video, right after jimin takes off his blindfold, the VCR cuts to bts all looking up at the sky, faces illuminated. this is likely a symbol that they literally “see the light” - a popular term that means someone has died and is crossing over to the other side/heaven/the afterlife. this makes sense, because of the HYYH theories imply everyone is dead or ends up dying (since young forever implies bts meets up in heaven)

the thing that sets this apart for me is the fact that EVERYONE BUT JIN IS LOOKING UP @ THE SKY. jin is the first member to get focus during this scene; he’s just standing there staring straight at the camera, a motif that showcases their character is detached from the rest of the members in bts’ M/Vs. it’s like they’re not quite there, even though one member may appear alongside everyone else (jin & jungkook in HYYH).

here: jin’s seen looking side to side, even a little upwards, but never completely like the rest of the members

besides his dashing good looks and impeccable suit taste, jin seems worried. he seems to be obviously, obviously worried. however, the other members don’t have this expression on their faces; they’re at varying levels of peace or happiness or excitement when they each get their solo cut (i’m not gonna put 6 pics after jin’s bc that would just take too much room due to tumblr’s poor image spacing rules rip, but they’re all in a thread in that link credit up top)

jin looks like he’s confused and baffled and searching for something (or someones ;;)))) amiright or amiright) during this scene - a motif that corresponds with the HYYH/my bs&t theory of jin being alone in some way, shape, or form

“WAIT” you say “BUT JIN DOES LOOKS UP AT THE END !!1!11!1!!!” you say

“yes my friend !!” i say

you are absolutely right. he is eventually seen looking up into the light like the other boys. however there are two things of things to notice: first is that he’s never looking up completely (comparison below)

and right as he fades into the background - he starts lowering his head (it’s easier to see this when the actual video is playing) back down to the camera - his expression still troubled. again, this shows he’s still separated from the rest of bts, even though he seemed to be very close to joining them.

so maybe he’s still dead. maybe he’s still trapped and he’s looking for a way out and his distress comes from knowing his members are going Somewhere Without Him, but i guess what happens next is on bts.....

i hope they keep going with this storyline; i’d love to see where it goes :0