#it's a whole different beast and i really wish she was advised to put her socials on private bc it's gonna get brutal quickly :/

[holyshit]

anons from earlier today ⬇️ (sorry for doing so much tag answering but it’s a heavy topic to me so i don’t want to get too... out there with it lol)

[nataliedanovelist]

GF - Evolution of Pines

Ford attempts to give Mabel a science lesson.

~~~~~~~~~~

Takes place between Stanchurian Candidate and The Last Mabelcorn…

“BOB! BOB! BOB! BOB!”

Ford paused pouring his coffee when he heard the odd chanting coming from the living room, but then he heard the sounds of the television and he smiled to himself, guessing the kids were watching some program they enjoyed. Deciding he could take a tiny break from going over his old journals, he wandered towards the living room with the hot mug of coffee in his six-fingered hand.

He smiled at the doorway, seeing a young pair of twins share the big armchair, Dipper grinning and shaking his fists excitedly while Mabel knitted a new sweater with her eyes glued to the TV.

“Bob Dry the Science Guy!” The theme song and the kids finished, and the episode began.

“I’m going to take a wild guess and assume you kids are watching Bob Dry the Science Guy?” Ford asked, leaning against the armchair, greeted by an energetic man in a lab-coat.

“Yup!” Dipper answered. “It’s really good! He teaches about magnets, volcanoes, global warming, bugs, all sorts of things! You knew you were gonna have a good day at school when the teachers pulled out the old TV and the theme song plays.”

“He’s so funny!” Mabel laughed as Bob printed a picture of his parents to explain something and it exploded. “My favorite episode is when he talked about the desert and got chased by a camel.”

Ford watched the TV for a second as Bob Dry explained to his audience that when things copy, they slightly change, explaining evolution. He could definitely understand why both children would love the show, but his interest peaked and his smile crashed down when he heard his niece say, “Eh, I don’t buy it.”

Ford turned his head sharply, like a hunting owl, and managed to make a smile through his shock. “Wh-What do you mean, you don’t buy it?”

Dipper snorted and smirked, “Yeah, Mabel doesn’t believe in evolution.”

Ford swore he could hear glass break. “You… You don’t believe in evolution?”

“Not really.” Mabel said with a shrug, still watching the TV just as invested as she was a few moments ago. “I mean… monkeys, Darwin, it’s a nice story, I just think it’s a little too easy.”

“T-T-T-T-Too easy.” Ford repeated, swallowing hard and standing up. “Too easy? Wait, so, the process of every living thing evolving over millions of years from single-celled organisms is too easy?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

Once the shock wore off, Ford was actually quite amused. To him, this was simply a child misunderstanding the knowledge offered to them, like teaching a child that 2+2=4, not 22. He chuckled warming and moved around the chair to be next to Mabel and got on one knee to be closer to her level. “Mabel, evolution is scientific fact. It’s just as real as the air we breathe or gravity or…”

“Oh, don’t even get me started on gravity.”

Ford stared at Mabel, confused and startled and maybe even a bit amazed. “Y-You don’t believe in gravity?”

“Oh, I believe in it, I just… I dunno,” Mabel paused her knitting to better explain her idea to her stranger of an uncle. “Lately I’ve just been feeling pushed down instead of pulled down.”

Ford snorted a laugh, caught it in his throat, coughed into his fist, and took in and out a deep breath. “You know, Mabel, there are times I wish my mind was like what yours is right now, so clean, a blank slate, an empty sponge so ready to soak up new knowledge. It’s truly a wonderful time.”

Mabel gave a timid smile back as he walked away, but something about what he said rubbed the young girl a wrong way. Needless to say, she was too distracted about what he had said to pay much attention to Bob Dry.

~~~~~~~~~~

Later that night, Mabel petted Waddles in bed robotically, still thinking. Dipper came into the room in his shorts and t-shirt and turned off the main light, leaving only his lantern on, and she decided to ask her brother something.

“Hey Dipper, do you think I’m stupid?”

Dipper turned and stared at her. “What? No, of course not. You’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met! No one can think of as many colors and games and escape plans as you can.” He stood next to her bed and asked, “Why? What’s up?”

“Nothing, it’s just…” Mabel bit her lip, hesitant to tell Dipper how she felt. But this was the first time since Ford came home that Dipper had paid her this much attention, so maybe she should seize her opportunity why she could. “When Great-Uncle Ford said those things it made me feel… stupid.”

Dipper had to take a second to remember what Mabel was talking about. “Oh.” And he sat next to her, legs dangling off the edge, to listen to her.

“Y’know, clean, blank slate, empty… I think… I think he thinks I’m dumb, and if the Author of the Journals thinks that…”

“Hey, hey,” Dipper put a hand on her shoulder to stop her. “I’m sure he doesn’t think that. He loves us, we’re great. And even if he does think you’re not very smart, he’s wrong. You’re brilliant! You’re super creative and always thinking outside the box. Who cares if you think a little differently or if you don’t believe in something others do and vise versa. I mean, you believe in gnomes and not a lot of people do.”

Mabel snorted at Dipper’s slightly pathetic try at a joke, but she was still grateful. “Thanks, Dip-Dip.”

“Don’t start unbelieving what you believe in, sis.” Dipper advised, making Mabel laugh, and they both accidentally started singing a cheesy song that always got people hyped.

~~~~~~~~~~

At breakfast, Mabel and Dipper were eating Stancakes with the chef cooking up one more batch for himself. They were joined by Ford, who held a rolled-up poster in his hands, and he grinned at the sight of the only female in the room. “There you are Mabel, I wanted to talk to you.”

Mabel perked up and smiled. “Really?”

“Yes,” He unrolled the poster on the table and her smile dropped when it was about evolution. “I wanted to show you the proof that we scientists have collected over the years that evolution exists…”

“Oh boy what did you do to unleash the beast?” Stan groaned.

“Ford found out Mabel doesn’t believe in evolution.” Dipper answered.

“This should be fun.”

“... so you see, they found these fossils all over the world, stretching back as far as four-hundred million years ago.” Ford explained as this poster showed the fossils and what they looked like in life.

“Uh, wow.” Mabel said, holding her chin in thought. “You can actually see it.”

“Yes! See, you can.” Ford said proudly, glad he could help his niece.

“Now,” Mabel looked away, giving this serious thought. “Who puts those fossils there, and why?”

Dipper snorted into his milk and Stan bit his lip when they saw the look on Ford’s face. “Mabel sweetie, I love you so much.” Stan said as he sat down to have some breakfast.

“M-M-Mabel, Mabel, listen to me.” Ford chuckled nervously as he put a hand on her shoulder. “What about… What about thumbs?” He held up his own and further asked, “We human beings have opposable thumbs, now how did we get those without evolution?”

“Oh!” Mabel gasped and removed her hand from her chin to slam a fist down at the table. “Maybe the overlords needed them to steer their spacecrafts!”

Ford pinched the bridge of his nose. “While they do, evolution…”

“Great-Uncle Ford, can I ask you something?” Mabel said sweetly, with eyes filled with wonder and sparkles.

Ford grinned. “Yes, of course, my dear. Anything you want.”

“Okay, so, wasn’t there a time when the smartest guys in the world thought the Earth was flat?”

“Uh… y-yes…”

“And, up until sixty years ago, everybody thought the atom was the smallest thing ever, until some dudes split it open and this whole bunch of other stuff came out?”

“Um… y-y-yes, I suppose…”

“Okay, so, one last question, Great-Uncle Ford,” Mabel said. “Is there the teeny tiny-est possibility that you and every other scientist could be wrong about evolution?”

Ford was absolutely dumbfounded. He looked at Dipper and Stan for some sort of assistance or reassurance, but they only peered at him, interested in what Ford had to say now. The aged scientist cleared his throat; his niece’s logic certainly added up, and with all of that said, he felt that he was obligated to swallow his pride and croak out slowly, “There is a teeny… tiny… possibility… that I could be wrong, yes.”

Mabel blinked and put her hands over her heart in shock. Ford was ready to apologize if he had accidentally made her feel that he was so strict and by-the-book that he wouldn’t have enough humility to admit he could be wrong, but his jaw dropped when she said, “I can’t believe you caved.”

“Wh-What?”

“You just abandoned your whole belief system…”

“N-N…”

“... I mean, I didn’t agree with you, gut at least I respected you.”

“B-B-But…”

“Oh my gosh, how are you gonna go to another science convention?”

“I…”

“How will you ever set foot in another museum or planetarium again?” Mabel gasped sadly. “How are you going to face the other science guys? H-How are you going to face yourself?” And she puckered her lips innocently at her uncle, feeling sorry for him.

Ford had absolutely no clue what the heck just happened or how to respond. Feeling numb and needing a moment to digest, he slowly rolled up the poster, but rather than carry it in his hand, he cradled it like it was his own first born son, and hurried back down to the basement with as much dignity as he could muster.

“That was fun.” Mabel said casually as she popped another bite of Stancake into her mouth.

[lgcmax]

hellooooo my legacy loves !! i hope life’s been treating you all well ! i know right now things are still pretty difficult ( as been all of 2020 tbh ), so i just wanted to flood the dash w a little positivity !!  you know, sometimes i feel bad because it seems that i can’t connect with everyone as much as i’d like, and it sucks !! but between my spotty activity at times and bad response times i didn’t want you to think i loved you all any less. so !!! below you will find a love letter to all of you lovely muns as well as some individual comments about my favorite thing about your muses everybody ! also, if you have lgc friends who aren’t really dash scrollers feel free to share this with them so that they can see !! anyways, go ahead and enjoy 😇💖

dear legacy,

okay - let me start by saying - i care for you sooooo so much !! and that goes for ALL of you reading this !! even if we’ve never talked, or you just joined, or we talk like every other month but never seem to catch each other at the right time ? i care for you !!! and don’t you ever forget it. honestly, legay is one of the healthiest places i’ve been in to develop my muse in a safe space, void of any judgement or just weird vibes. and that has to do with all of you, and i’d like to thank you for that !! our mods, of course, get a special hug for all that you guys do - i know that things can get hard, and we test your patience sometimes ... i get it !!  but to us, you’re kinda like our rp parents ?? we might nag, joke, and annoy but it’s all out of love, we promise ahaha !! anywho, once again everyone i’ve met in legacy, has no lie been so special to me ?? and i want you guys to know that !! literally all of you, even if it was just a quick message, have made an imprint on the great rp experience i’ve had here and i’d like to thank you for that ! and no this isn’t me leaving, i promise i’m gonna stick around for a loong time to come ahaha. but honestly, who would’ve thought ? i was bouncing around from rp to rp, and i didn’t recall, if i’m being hoenst, expect anything to come out of me giving this place a shot for the 2nd time ? but i’m so grateful to have gotten such a wonderful experience that made me not want to leave. there’s always things to do, muses to meet, and it’s crazy how well everyone keeps the dash flowing ! i’m always excited to look at what you and your muses are up too, and honestly i’m lowkey invested in all their little relationships lol ?? but that’s what makes this place so special ! the friendships, the enemies, the romance, and everything in between has made this into such a unique writing atmosphere to be a part of. so for that, i say thank you. and here’s to more legacy for years to come !!

now for the special portion of my letter !!! in alphabetical order, you will find a compliment of mine for your muse below !! phew, here i go :

(  and pls ... if i forgot u ... i apologize 20000x !! PLEASE tell me lol !! obviously this is for muses who are here at the time of writing this 10/2/2020, and i may update ! but if your muse is here at that time and you don’t see them PLEASE tell me i want to write them something but i might have accidentally deleted someone’s in the process of writing so many ! )

phunsawat kannika first of all i have the fattest crush on her fc ojoijjoioij !! anyways, i love the commitment to all her pages, all her character inspos are my favorite, and i’m really interested to see her adjustment to korea ! i think she’s doing a great job already and will show that she can go even further !

yoon aria i haven’t got to say it yet but i LOVE how much of a meme she is oijoiiooij !! esp since she’s a model, it’s fun to have one who’s this cool model on camera but honestly so real and fun ?? like it gives her so much depth and i’m sure she’ll develop a loyal fanbase of like-minded goofs ? i want her and nari to interact tbh haha !!

lee benji my KING ! i love seeing benji develop his sense of purpose and try to see what he wants to become in the long run, and also how he’s stayed true to himself even after mocing to a whole different country ! and of course, his commitment to caring for others !

pongsak tee i ship jinseo and tee oijojoijoij !!!!!! anywho we love the thai representation, i really have enjoyed seeing tee’s progress over the past few months and how he’s adapting to slowly coming into the starlight ? it seems he’s still managed to maintain his kindness and i really enjoy that about him !

im nari is void because she is my muse but i love her very much hee hee !!

kang eunho first off as i’m writing this i see eunho’s first words for his babysitting solo is him flipping out over how cute babies are and i just think that’s adorable lol. but anywho ! eunho’s such a little sunshine and def gives me baby energy ?? light of my life. he’s like legacy’s daily dose of vitamins !

im bomi hana ... my favorite girl who i’m in love with ojjojjoijioji !! i think hana is so weird and goofy in the BEST ways and she’s an example of someone who’s not a famous girl, but a girl who happened to get famous ? i love her for her quirks and all her uniqueness, gamer girls ftw, 10/10 main character material !

hwang minjun i also love shinha and minjun too lmao !!! they are ... v cute !! i love how warm minjun’s heart is from what i’ve seen, and how open and accepting he is to all types of people and welcomes them to his warm fuzzy heart !!! also i would like to personally thank him for taking max in when they were in tokyo max DOES NOT deserve !

kim jinah ah i love her sm !! i know it sounds like max talking, but i love how she’s basically one of the bros lmao ?? but really ! i love her dually embracing of her cuter side and her more casual one, and how she just seems like the type of person you can have a drink and a good talk with ? and her interactions w junghwan stand out and give her an unexpected soft side !

lee yushin i feel like yushin is the younger brother we all wish we had but don’t deserve !! just a real fresh breath of air, definitely a little goofy but just as sweet ?? has the capability to win over even the coldest muses hearts ! and i am rooting for actor yushin 100%. you got this bud !!!!

kim nami somehow nami always pops up first on my dashboard but i’m not mad about it at all lol !! and i think nami is actually very multi-dimensional ! she already seems pretty sure of where she wants herself to go, and i think she’s going to make a really good senior to mentor junior trainees once she’s debuted for a bit ! she def will come correct !!! 

lin yue the way i’m SO invested in guessing what she’s eating but never can .... ahh !! also she loves martial arts which means nari would love her if she knew her uwu. anyways to me she’s quite the baddie, i feel like she’s got her toes dipped in a lot of things and therefore will be very versatile in what she can do ? i really love that ( outside of her outstanding visuals ) she actually has a v good personality and niche interests !

ahn dohwan i have promised myself i wouldn’t put any emphasis on fcs but since vernon is one of my ults i literally have to say: TASTE. anywho lmao !! dohwan gives me cafe boy vibes ?? hear me out. could totally see him making someone a macchiato while listening to their problems and offering advice ? he just seems like a v good listener & adviser ! i think once he debuts for real for real he’s gonna have a lot of bf material made by fans haha !!

leong charlotte first of all i just need to comment i saw a while ago on the dash when charlotte covered i wait and that was ?? iconic ??? we stan ??? streamday6pls ahem anyways ! her being in a band itself makes her an instant baddie, but beyond that she also seems v kind & passionate from what i’ve seen ! she’s got the cute & the fierce, and because of that i think she’ll be fierce competition in the industry once she debuts !

choi max is my muse however as my first bb here i love him deeply heart heart !!

jung ahin i will not lie i did not know seungwoo before i saw ahin, then realized he kinda looked like wonwoo and started to simp ?? IOJOIJOJ anyway this is more of an ooc note but thank u ahin’s mun for bringing me to the light 😇anyways !! i want ahin to do more things to make himself happy bc i think he really is this close to living his best life !! i want something really really good to make him super happy yk ? also i support his english learning journey !

kang jaemin HI ME REALIZING I NEED TO MESSAGE U BACK I’M SORRY SCREECH anyway !! he has a very warm presence, i feel like even when he debuts he’ll be the approachable type ? but also he’s just so smiley and i love it !! such a little fuzzball !! i do feel like more is going on in jaemin’s head than people would think, though ??

lee jaewoo listen jaewoo is my baby ok ... and he’s nari’s too ! also btw did you ever get that birthday text from her own his acc ? anyways i’m going wayy of topic let’s regroup lol !! i honestly admire the level of passion and drive he has so young, and he’s already come so far ? jaewoo has a lot of love in his heart for people and i hope he keeps that even after years of acting ! he truly is the light of lgc agency uwu !

seo yura i feel like yura is v real ! i think she only hides the things she feels are nessescary about herself, but to me she still comess off as really genuine ? it seems she has many types of connections present in her life, which i really like ! i think she’ll do really good at holding her own once it’s time for her official debut and i’m excited to see what’s ahead !

kang jun i think jun doubts himself far more than he realizes just how much he’s capable of !! jun is so adorable and he might hate me for saying that but it is what it is !! i don’t think he’s recognized his true power yet, and though that’s sort of good at humbling him, i think he will be a beast when he becomes fully confident ?? and i believe he will !! i think getting a proper fanbase will show him just how much he can do !

 ji haneul okay haneul made it to type zero, so tbh he already has his life together more than half of us ?? IOJOIJOJ no but for real i think haneul is a true  ✨professional ✨even if he wouldn’t believe me if i told him ? although HE might not be so confident in it, i think haneul’s growing into his more mature self well and it’ll actually help him in the long run as he starts his journey in the idol industry !

kang jina you know what ? i think jina would be a really good leader in her group, if she were to debut as an idol ! i think she has really good communication skills and seems to just vibe with everyone around her ? which is important, as a leader ! but i also feel like she could lighten the mood and kay down the rules depending on which is needed ? that’s just how i feel ! i think she’d do well <3

seo geonwoo first of his theme is so aesthetically pleasing wow ?? anywho ! i do really enjoy geonwoo and honestly need to pay him more attention !  i honestly respect the fact that he knows his own power, and isn’t afraid to be confident in himself ? he just seems v sure of how he wants to live his life which makes him seem v stable, and def in the right direction ! i think he most often knows whats best for himself, and that’s a really valuable skill to have !

ok miyoung first off i DEFININTELY whole-heartedly ship miyoung and hunji, i do !! 😌 but yes miyoung def has romcom protagonist vibes, and i mean that in the best way possible ?? like she’s got quite a lot of things going on for her simultaneously, all while trying to discover things about herself too ?? i empathize with the level of chaos in her life but i think she’s handling it all very well and it’s exciting to read about !

son nabi nabi my ANGEL. i didn’t even know nabi too well prior to us plotting but now i’m so glad that i do !! she has the kindest heart and is willing to go out of her way, even for people she isn’t that close to, just out of the good of her heart ? and i think that’s so powerful ! she’s so baby and i vow to protect her from all the horrors of the entertainment industry because she’s a prime example of light amongst darkness !

ahn jaehwa you knowww jaehwa’s my girl 😚 i just love her adventurous spirit, and how she definitely is filled with more mischief than she may show on first impression ? i think she can use that to her advantage, and it will translate really well as charisma !! her and max’s first interaction showed me just how much of a daredevil she can be and i love it ! psa, we need to plot again !  

lee yohan first of yushina nd yohan’s broken friendship is some .... tea 🍵 i’m intrigued ... really i am !! i kinda wanna give him a massage chair for his birthday because i feel like there really is a lot of internal conflict going on in his head ? def hoping he achieves the dream od getting famous before he’s forced to enlist and drop his dreams, and in return for my support i am expecting free starbucks coffee on him, lol !!

bae nathan i honestly didn’t even realize just how iconic nathan is until we started plotting ? him and max share a lot of similarities, which i love, but beyond that he just is such a real dude who kinda just seems ... ok with being not perfect ? and i enjoy that ! he’s accepting the fact that he makes mistakes and knows that that’s ok. i feel like in the future he’d have a fire podcast ?? like i just feel like it’d be so real and entertaining !

han allie first of all, happy ( belated ? ) birthday to allie !!! second of all, producers in general are always just so interesting to me ? i feel like even though she’s still finding it, allie’s rather focused on creating a sound for herself and making it different ? def has the drive to make her dreams a reality, and i know she’ll do well ! allie, fighting !

kim junghwan i think junghwan has a heart of gold ! he’s good at working with others and def would have nice personality to just sit and talk about life with ! i think he also has a lot of hobbies and interests that are v cute and soft boi, so he’s definitely gonna attract the soft stans !! he’s another person i feel would make great leader material some day. also ship him and jinah all the way 😉

kim alex first off i LOVE luna she is my pride and joy .... i feel v embarrased i think we were supposed to thread and i forgot ! but that beside the point !! i feel like he does have crazy duality ?? at some points it’s like “wow, nice man, pet parent of the year” and other times it’s like “wow this man is wilding did he just say that ??” but ... the way i love both !! it’s so interesting seeing his conflicts and how he deals with other people, but maybe that’s the messy mun in me 🙊

ahn jaesun jaesun !! a king. first off i said it to danbi’s mun before but i am just putting it out there i love him & danbi together i do, i ship it !!! secondly i think, maybe because he’s been around for a quite awhile, but you ( the mun ) seem to have a very good grasp on his character ? i think he’s had really significant but gradual development, sort of coming out of his shell and expanding the things he’s willing to take on ! and i love that for him.

yoon shinha let me repeat that minjun and shinha - i ship it !!! i don’t even know hwo to describe it but i just love the energy shinha exudes !! it’s fun, playful, and full of energy, and i think that’ll transfer really well on stage !! he’s the type of guy who’s just down for whatever and i feel like he could befriend anybody if he really wanted to ! i like that about him and think he’ll have no problem getting along w whoever he works with in the future !

kyo miyeon my queen .... oh how i love her ! 😣❤ i think miyeon’s got a cold exterior with a soft interior ?? like she’s sososo composed and a little cold on the outside, but in reality she’s just over here loving animals and the simple things in life ? i think once she debuts she’s going to have fans have v passionate debates about whether they like her cool or soft side more since they’re both so prominent and so good !!

løvehjerte emil first off emil being from denmark and his name immediately stood out to me when he was accepted, and to me makes him v unique ? also doyoung rights ;) i like how well he seems to adapt to the situations presented to him, even if they’re new and unfamiliar to him ! i think he has his ability to keep his cool, but is still learning a lot from being a trainee and proving he can definitely grow beyond what he’s already accomplished !

jung miso miso is the baddest b no one can change mt mind oijoijoijo !!!!! but no for real i always have admired miso even if i haven’t got to interact w her on my muses too much ? at first i def got vibes of the popular girl everyone wants to be just like ? but i’ve realized she’s a loot more ! she has ( shrek vc ) layers, and i think it’s good to see someone who has a lot of things people would see as ideal, but without being unobtainable !

nam yunho yunho intrigues me so much !! i’m sad max hasn’t gotten to interact with him yet lol !! i feel like in this i keep comparing muses to character types but - just take a journey with me ok soijioiofoijfio !! i so see yunho as one of those guys in the movies about small town who’s family has has a business there for years and he’s the chill guy who shows the main character around town ? AND THAT’S A GOOD THING LMAO ! i feel like he’s just immensly chill and always is just vibing and down for a good time ! <3

jo jiwoo i think jiwoo is so exceptionally cute !! but don’t underestimate her because to me she also does have a very fiery spirit ?? and i love it !! def would have the potential to be a maknae on top and i am here for it !! but since she wants to be an actor i def see her even stealing the hearts of the staff ?? the best example of a puppy in real life i’ve ever seen !

na sera first of all being a twin is automatically cool so there’s that ?? but also !! i like how hard she’s fighting to prove her own, individual self worth ! i’m definitely excited to see how she’ll find her “thing” that really riles her up and makes her feel passionate ? and that maybe she’ll decide the idol thing is for her and go forward with it as a career !

min soyoun i think soyoun’s definitely go the girl next door charm, she defintiely seems like the type who you could be friends with easily, and i think she’ll maintain that even when she’s more famous ! she gives me free spirit vibes, and i think that even if she doesn’t know how, life will somehow work to make sure she always does well ! she’s defintiely proved her individuality and i think she’ll stand out from most around her !

geum danbi ugh danbi ... the way i’m obsessed with her ! i mentioned this already but her and jaesun ? cute we ship it !! i am a stan, i am ! anyways i think that danbi is so powerful, and i don’t mean that jokingly ! she does hold a very commanding presence for me, and i really respect her resilience in continuing to fight for her debut, even after being discouraged numerous times in the past ! i think that’ll make her debut all the more worth it, as she has taken the time to get even better and improve her skills !

jang taesung taesung ... the way i really am fascinated by him ! i don’t even interact w him on my muses but he’s still so entertaining to me !! he’s so casual and i just enjoy seeing his interactions ? he isn’t afraid to be authentically him, and though he doesn’t really show it in his words all the time he’s got a lot of emotions swirling around there ! he do ... he do be messy sometimes i get it ?? he’s a lil problematic ?? but it entertains me so we will take it !

song ahri ok i don’t want to claim this bc i’m not COMPLETELY sure but do i have permission to ship her and geonwoo .... i saw their thread on the dash and they’re so cute what 😚💖 ( revision : they are together i can say this lol !!! ) anywho onto ahri things ! she just seems like the sweetest person EVER she’s v gentle with her words and actions, and definitely seems like a comforter of sorts ? i think that, whoever she gets close to, would def have her to lean on in hard times ! she’s like 

son seolmi first of congrats on seolmi as the new musical actress !! we need more of them >.< but i feel like when seolmi looks back on her training experience she’ll be very proud of herself ! she has made a lot of improvements over her training period, found her passions, and worked to prove herself ! but i think, although she’s working v hard, she’s also doing twice as good at maintaining her friendships and being good to the people around her !

seo minseok minseok a true angel !! i know we haven’t gotten to write together in a while, but seeing his thread w nari we had i saw how kind he was ! he’s loyal to the people he calls friends, open to trying new things, and i think in the future when he gains experience he’ll be a really great mentor to the people who he precedes ! 

oh max ok first off i feel like i cannot not say this everytime i see him on the dash or a thread with him i’m constantly in a state of confusion about which max it is oijoioiiojaojoi ?? but !! i’m despite their names, they’re actually pretty different ! because unlike max choi, oh max is has a very loving and warm personality, and even though he comes from money you couldn’t really tell by his personality ?

park dohyun i def want him and max to interact together, side note !! because they’re both goofs and, of course, we need as many lgc boys connections as we can ! but anywho, i love dohyun, as i feel muses such as him are v necessary ! he definitely provides comic relief, and even though he doesn’t like to reveal his emotions, that just reveals another component to his emotional depth ! even if he isn’t someone who is vulnerable, i think it is great he does his best to make others happy !!

lee jiho i mean can i pls just adopt jiho as my child ?? he’s so cute oijjoijoij !! i think all though he’s ambitious and knows what he wants in life, he’s also realistic with himself and knows what he can expect and how to work toward a clothes ! it’s a trait not everyone has so i like that he does ! i think he’s also enough of a positive thinker that throughout any troubles he may have, he’ll get through it with a nice mindset !

lee hanbyul i think that once debuted officially officially, hanbyul will definitely grow in popularity almost immediately ! she’s already done well at gaining the hearts of fans even when she was a trainee, and with so many friends and opportunities under her belt she’ll get big in no time ! i think she’ll definitely be well known and that she’ll bring multiple fandoms together because it’s just hard not to like her !

jung jihye i love jihye !! she’s so raw and rolling with all the punches life has given her ? even after a rocky start to her career, she’s ready to give it a second chance, and although she went through a lot of bullying discovered a newfound love for acting ! i think that her dedication to being happy will show in her passion for whatever she acts in in the future, and i’m excited to see how the public perceives her !

tsai sunisa isa is the ultimate chill dude haha !! i think that he’s very calm and level-headed, while not coming off as careless ? although he’s very casual, he clearly does care about the other’s around him, and i think for him that shows in the little details rather than the big things ? i think he’s the type of person who does well at picking up on the energies of others, and noticing small details about them !  v v cool 💖😌

shin yeseo u KNOW me and max are collectively whipped for her oijoijoi !!! no but honestly, from what i’ve viewed of yeseo from an outside perspective, she’s goes beyond the socially required level of thoughtful ? she really does listen to everyone’s perspective and do what she thinks is best for everyone involved and i really like that ! i also like that the simple things are enough to make her very happy, and that she puts her all into the ones she cares for ! 

kang yonghwa i love how in love yonghwa is in with life, and how bright his spirit is !! he has such a ... sunshine spirit ? that’s the best way i can put it ! he’s just so positive the majority of the time, and i feel he has the ability to see the best traits of others and bring that out of them ! i also love his sense of adventure, and i think he’ll be a favorite for fans in no time ! kang yonghwa, 10 / 10, our best boy !!

kim hyunbin hyunbin reminds me of a cartoon character, in the best way ! he’s definitely very theatrical, and also has a more playful, teasing side to him ? i think that everyone needs a hyunbin in their life because he’s very considerate of the emotions of the people around him, and on top of that has a lot of interests and boosts any social scenario !

choi jinyoung jinyoung ... an angel ! it’s so my fault we don’t but we should plot more ! uwu anywho ! first off, happy belated birthday to him ! i noticed that during our to the max thread, despite being a little overwhelmed by human tsunami max choi, he stayed very polite and was open to trying a new experience out, and for that i really gained respect for him ! i think he’s a v soft boy but i don’t think he’s weak at all, in fact maintaining his kindness for others has shown my just how strong he is !!  😇😇

oh eunhye just like her article says, eunhye has a real knack for entertaining and i think it’s already begun to show ! i think her authenticity easily transfers to the camera, and that it makes people love her all the more ? she has the type of hypnotizing personality that makes people want to get to know her, and i don’t think it’s coincidence that she’s had the opportunities that she’s had already come to her !

oh gitaek congrats on becoming a producer gitaek !! clap clap !! hehee but i think gitaek is very adaptable ! even in environments when he doesn’t want to do anything, he’s going to push through - like dancing, for instance ! also him and hyunbin’s dynamic ?? v interesting. i’m invested on seeing where it goes ! i think gitaek has a lot of potential, much of which he’s already showing, and i think he’ll have no problem discovering himself fully and becoming big !

son alec just gotta say i always mix him and alex up on accident i wanna scream oijooi !! but also while scrolling his page and saw this: “ old people are amazing, is the conclusion he’s come to yet again  ” and i just wanna say i love him for that ojojoioij !! but anyways, alec gives me the vibe of a young adult still sort of finding their way, and i really love that ! he enjoys what he does but still has doubts, and i think that little back and forths very important ! i hope he becomes a super famous actor and achieves all his dreams !

son jieun i love how much jieun cares for her friends !! she was bold enough to straight up call taesung out for mistreating allie and tbh ... kinda in love with that energy ?? i think her bravery goes beyond even just this though, as she’s already tried many new things that others may have strayed away from in fear ! her sense of justice and determination is something i admire and honestly i feel like if it wasn’t for her obvious career path she’d be a great lawyer haha !!

nam jueun it’s the way i want to claim that i indeed am one of seojin & jueun’s biggest fans ... i am 😌✌ but listen !! i have to respect jueun for the way that she’s managed to repair a damaged relationship AND work on herself and her career at the same time ? and both are going good ! she’s also got a real edge to her, and i feel like she doesn’t realize just how cool she is ?? we stan !

park seojin now we alr know ... seojin is one of the muses i am most whipped for in legacy i cannot lie i’m sorry !!! listen ,,, i love my tsundere !! he’s had exceptional development, but in really small yet significant ways, and he’s grown so much in the time he’s been here ! in terms of max, he’s definitely starting to take on a more nurturing role, and in term of himself, getting a better idea of who he is as an artist and a person and i think that’s gonna really show when his band debuts ! also think he’ll be a strict yet incredibly respected mentor when the day comes ? anyways i’ll just say i l*ve park seojin and go 😭💔

lee jiae lee jiae, the apple of my eye !! i was astounded how much kindness could be fit into one small body ?? even in situaitons she doesn’t like, she maintains her bright spirit that brings people to her in the first place, and i think that comforts the people around her if they’re having a hard time as well ! but i think she also does have a bit of a chaotic side when panicked and i do love it i do !! do not underestimate lee jiae everyone i am betting all my money on the fact that she can beat some ass !!

hwang sori first of all her theme made me gasp it’s literally so incredibly gorgeous omg ?? but !! the first thing i read was hwang sori is an ugly crier and that made ME ugly cry with laughter LMAOWAOOA !!  even though she’s relatively new i’ve already come to love how out of the box and unapologetically her she is ! she has so much to offer, both on and off stage, and i know she’s destined to be a star ! i’m already so invested and excited to see what she does in the future !

lee aaron aaron !! our dad of the year sobs. of course, my favorite thing about aaron is how nurturing he is ! he has no problem taking care of others, and i think that although it’s easy for younger / less experienced trainees to be intimidated by those above them, aaron removes that stigma completely ! truly a gentle soul. my only complaint about aaron is that he’s so selfless that i feel he sometimes forget about himself, so aaron please eat more and take care of your health oijoijoioij !! 

lee youngmin the way i love youngmin !! i was so touched by his patience when he helped my baby nari get herself together when it came to learning lines for cram school ! it proved to me that he’s a v caring person, and even if acting was sort of a sore subject for him, he still went through with helping her ! and that brings me to my next point - congrats for joining the actors youngmin !! i admire him for giving something he’s apprehensive about another shot, and i’m so incredibly excited to see how it goes for him !

song yifei ok even though i don’t know yifei too well yet seeing her intro did help me see why i’m going to love her so much !! i appreciate her adaptation to such an unusual environment like korea, and although i’m sure she’s homesick and a little lost she’s already doing her part to adjust to life in korea ! starting so young, i have to admire her work ethic and her strength by not giving up ! i’m excited to see what she can offer us all ! 

hwang minsik ok so !! even though minsik is quite the introvert, i think it’s v cool that he has worked past that, and although it may have been uncomfortable, got more comfortable performing in front of others ! i think that being in his head for the majority of the time will actually prove to work in his favor, as it’ll be easier to transfer all the emotions he’s feeling into his music when he locks down and pursues his dream of being a producer !

tsuchiya mitsuki from what i’ve seen, mitsuki seems to be very considerate of others, and i like that she celebrates other’s accomplishments outside of just her own ! the entertainment career can be a very risky and sometimes scary one, but i think that she’s doing a great job at rolling with it and putting her all into forming it into a serious career path for herself !

yamashita ichika i think she put it best - she’s new to korea, but not this world !! i love love LOVE how sure of herself ichika is, and though it may come off as blunt, maybe y’all aren’t just ready to accept the truth she’s spilling ... 👀 lMAO no but for real !! she’s a woman who knows what she wants and i never will be mad at that ! you can never say that ichika doesn’t keep it real and i think that’s something we need to learn from her !

hwang subin i think subin is incredibly self-aware, which really is such a super important trait to have ?? he’s had a lot of conflicts over his training period, but he’s overcame them, and to me he holds a lot of grace even in those scenarios he has this sort of ... calmness to him ? idk maybe that’s subjective but that’s how i feel ! i think in the end he’s going to turn the pain into power, and he’ll be one of the people really idolized for their resilience !

kim minjee i feel like along her path to fame, she’s learning all sorts of new things about herself in the industry, and that feeling of self-discovery is awesome ! i think she’s a really good example of the changes people go through throughout their path toward stardom ! i think she does her best to embrace both the highs and lows life brings her, which i think is preparing her to be a really steady person when it comes to being famous !

im hyunjin my baby !! the way i love him beyond measure !! he gets along with max so well and i love how well they balance off each other’s energy ! he’s got a boyish charm that helps me remember that yes, a lot of the trainees are still kids at heart, and that reminder is v refreshing ! though a lot has been thrown on him with this trimester, he’s been a good sport, and i think he’s such an accurate representation of someone who’s growing up in the spotlight ! i think it’s enough for me to excuse him mixing up the maxs. 😚😌

okamoto akira what a wonderful soul ugh !! he really did impact nari’s heart with his unconditional kindness. i think he’s grown even in his time in the rp alone ? he’s so kind to others, and i love how he holds interest in other people and their stories ! even though he’s still getting adjusted to life in korea, i think he’s doing a great job at getting his name out there while making a good impression of himself. but like i said about aaron pls, akira, take care of yourself more !! you deserve the best, heart heart !!

jeon haeun haeun has such an intense drive when it comes to her love for dance and performing, and i hope she never loses that ! it’s the most important thing, after all ! she’s got such a spunky personality, which will work in her favor as it will keep eyes on her even after she’s off the stage ! she’s a baby, being so young, but already has proved herself to have a worthy place in legacy, and i think she’s even got the capability to teach the older trainees a thing or two, haah !

park viggo i definitely respect viggo, because of the insecurities that have developed from his biological parents putting him up for adoption, he’s shone so brightly already at such a young age ! and i just read his solo w / his encounter with his biological father and - literal chills ?? but .... phew ! i’m so impressed by how he’s had so many horrible experience influence his life, but not let it overtake him ? he’s so strong and if he can handle what life has already thrown at him, i know he’ll have nothing but good to look forward to from now on !

techaapaikhun kit i don’t think i’ve had the chance to tell you yet .... but god i LOVE kit oijoioi !! he’s such a loveable ball of fluff ! he has a very big heart, and i feel like even when he doesn’t know exactly what to do or what’s going on he’s still very much 😊💖✨ ?? you would never think he’s a foreigner because he just seems in high spirits ! also him and daehyung’s interactions ? 10 / 10 in terms of entertainment, definitely deserves a read !

ahn yein i love the short queen energy this woman exudes !! her duality is already quickly becoming my favorite thing about her ?? she’s so this and this ! i truly cannot wait to see how she’ll let her musical style influence the type of music she produces, and i think she’s a producer full of energy who has the potential for being famous for her music and her own personality !

seo yumi though yumi did go through a lot of hardship with her first debut, i really respect her for fighting to prove she deserves a spot in a group for a second time, even if the first time wasn’t even her fault ! i think because of it, even if her light’s dimmed a little, her enhanced discipline will work in her favor, as well as her prior experience, and potentially give her a step up among others ! which, hopefully, will make the hardships she went through not to be in vein !

han insoo insoo’s gone through quite a bit, and though i’d imagine that to be incredibly tough on him, he hasn’t lost his shine ! he still has a brightness to him when interacting around the people he loves, and i think that’s what it takes to be in a band ! i wish nothing but the best for him, because honestly, i think he’s just trying to get by and have a good time, and i really have to respect it !

choi jongsuk okay so from what i see jongsuk is a tad manipulative in the way he interacts with people ... and yet ... i stan ? obviously this isn’t a very good trait, but it is entertaining, especially for a messy mun like me haha !! i think, if he wants to, he can actually use his particularly good social skills to his advantage, and become a charmer among his fans !

choi daehyun omg prince daehyun rise !!! i always love the spoiled rich boy types, because to me, they have the most room for growth ! if i’m being honest with you as ... awful as he  might be i think he’s one of those trainees who would 100% give everyone a run for their money ? because if he doesn’t have anything ( beside money ofc ) he has confidence, and well .... confidence is a dangerous thing !! i’m really really anticipating seeing how he’ll get along with the other trainees, and his journey in legacy !!

chwe hunji phew .... my adoptive son !! i admit i am slightly biased to hunji i am i am what about it !!! 😌💖 i gush about him all the time so i’ll keep it ( relatively ) short - i don’t think hunji realizes, but given the whirlwind of events that’s happened in less than a year, he’s doing a fantastic job of both grieving and growing !! he’s been able to look out for those who need him most even in his darkest times, put up with max’s shenanigans even amongst trying to decipher his feelings for him, and adapted to a ever-changing climate that comes with being a trainee in his hardest year ! not to mention how much he’s grown since his arrival !! his development ?? chef’s kiss !

kang dongwon first of all already massive respect to dongwon for doing school and training at the same time ?? that’s already difficult in itself ! but i think he’s taken a lot of risks despite not necessarily wanting to, like expanding outside of activities he’d expected that he would do ! it’s good for him to dip his toe into numerous places, and he’ll be less thrown off if he’s asked to do something unexpected in the future. also him & his relationship w his siblings is the best haha !!

park sarang first off seojin and sarang together are such a cool duo !! the concept of siblings in the industry is honestly so cool ?? but anywho ! but i soso admire sarang !! even though she was initially was following her brother’s dream, it’s gradually morphed into her own, and she really has developed an individual name for herself, which shows her passion and determinism ! i also love how they have a healthy relationship, even with normal sibling fights, without getting into super super competitive territory ?? that just shows her capability to love & that’s great !

kim jinseo first off !! his familial relationship w shinha ? we love to see it ! cutest cousins on the block ! but what i admire about jinseo is how stable he is ! i think he can help people and handle his own problems without getting too stressed, he’s a good problem solver and i think he can calm down and figure out the best way to approach a situation ? also once again him & tee ? cute, we ship it 😊

kim ara first off, friend of the year award goes to ara for helping hanbyul through her breakup and working around processing her emotions ! and also that she’s pretty mature in handling her own breakup w / nathan ! that brings me to the point that i feel ara is a thoughtful person, who definitely sees the good even in bad scenarios and tries to think of the positives that come out of her life, even if it can be difficult to do so !

jin eunji now we know that’s my queen !!!!! i honestly love seeing eunji’s development, and she’s much more of a deep character than she shows on the outside ?? and there’s even more left for others to discover about her ! she’s trying to work through her shit but I like her because she’s the realest depiction of someone who’s growing - because it’s not particularly nice or cute ?? it’s rough but it’s real, she’s struggling to grow and move through her emotions but she’s growing nonetheless and i love that for her !!!

park seon seon is def the type of girl who is just sort of taking it day by day, and i respect it so much !! she has a lot to discover of herself and what she wants to do, but quite honestly i like that about her !! i think that she’s still young and def doesn’t need to stress about it, and i like that she’s just sort of flowing in whichever direction that life wants to take her ! i can only imagine how far she’ll go when she discovers her true potential !

lim sanghyun i feel like sanghyun really is prepared for any situation that’s thrown at him, even if he feels like he can’t do it !! i mean, since birth he’s had tons of bad cards thrown at him, and yet he always manages to turn them into something good ? although it may seem like he doesn’t have good fortune, to me, it seems he has the opposite, because he always finds a way out the trenches !! i think sanghyun’s legacy’s phoenix !

choi daehyung omg daehyung has been a favorite of mine since he came !! i love peeking at the many relationships he has bc they’re tbh so interesting !! he's honestly fit to be a main character in a show ? and i think, despite what daehyung thinks, he’s grown a lot in the time he’s been here ! to me, he’s more aware of his emotions, and more reflective of the choices he makes ! sure he’s got some things to work on but let’s be real .... don’t we all ?

lau mike mike is such a breath of fresh air !! def a roll with the punches kind of guy - reminds me of those popular kids where it’s just like ... dang, things always seem to be go well for them ?? i’m jealous ?? but i think more of that has to do with mike rather than him just having good luck ! he does good at adapting & working hard, from moving to korea, to changing careers, to now training ! he seems to excel and everything he does and i have no doubt that will help him out in the long run !

li zimeng meng is so pretty !! but she’s also SO much more !! this whole thing of her feeling average, and like she didn’t really stand out in comparison to the other trainees .... it’s so real !! and honestly, so good for her ! even though she doesn’t feel special always, i KNOW she is, but i think it’s also great she has this good foundation ? because rather than being good at only 1 thing and realizing in the long run she hates it, zimeng has the potential to be super well-versed and i think she’ll be more aware of what she needs to work on to improve !

tsai king truly our king ... and i don’t mean that ironically !! i looove king’s development, i truly love to see it !! though he’s still got his pride, i think he’s transformed his confidence from blind cockiness to a reason for him to want to work hard and succeed ?? king definitely had things to work on, but he has worked on them, and i think he’s truly proved his place in legacy in the long time he’s been here !! also thoroughly impressed w how much he’s done !

bae doha i think that if I had to describe doha, it would be “ proceed with caution ” !! he’s a cautious person, i feel, who wants the balance between having a good life and keeping himself grounded ? which is a really good type of personality, and I think it would make him a leader for those around him ! he’s also very observant, and i think that will make him much more meticulous of a person as an actor !

song shaun first of all i gotta still thank shaun for doing tiktok dances with max back in the day !!!! that was iconic and i will never forget it lol !! and i'm so glad he’s back. anyways, i think shaun is definitely the type of person that’ll stay true to himself even after becoming famous, he seems v carefree, but also w/o not losing that ambition to work hard ?? 

pongsak arinya arin is so freaking adorable !!! i think she’s like a puppy and I love it !! she’s so curious about the way around her, i think she just loves what life has to offer her and in turn life loves her ?? she has such a playful and optimistic light about her and to me, it’s impossible not to want to be her friend !! her fans will easily love her <33

jeon haru to me, haru seems like a team player !! he listens to the input of other’s, and i think before rushing to do what he wants to do, it’s in his spirit to think of how his actions affect other people ! and i think that’s shown in how he’s babysitting on the show, even though he’s a little panicked ! i also think he’s a good self-soother, he’s good at helping calm himself down and make himself feel better, and to me that’s so great !!

liu jiao I think she’s doing a great job at making her reality one she enjoys ! she’s struggling to find the differences between her dreams and her moms, what she wants and what she doesn’t ! and still, i believe that she’s doing well and spreading love to those around her despite ! i hope she finds full inner peace and that she can live a life of happiness ( and a little wrecklessness tbh ) without any worries !!

[vendeavendea]

How Entrapta Has Become My All Time Favourite Autistic Representation in Media: Long Version

Just so you know what to expect, this is more of a very long and boring personal post and less of a character analysis. By "very long", I mean "very long". Also, half of it was written at night when I was supposed to be sleeping (like, right now), so some parts might not even make sense. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Just days before I started to watch She-Ra, I answered a question in a writer group where someone asked what are the do's and don'ts of writing an autistic character. I've been told a couple of times in my life that I can’t be autistic based on the fact that I'm not really interested in or good at science, so I think special interests of autistic people are something that definitely has to be presented better in media. So I advised this person to make their character have a special interest that's NOT related to science, technology, space or computers, because it's a very common misconception that people on the autism spectrum are always into these stuff, and there are so many autistic fictional characters based on this stereotype that I feel like we absolutely don't need any more.

And then I saw Entrapta.

I didn't know she's canonically autistic until a much later episode, but it didn't surprise me when I was told she is, because my autism radar went off like a hundred times while watching System Failure and all her other season 1 appearances (so did my ADHD radar, by the way, but as far as I know, this hasn't been confirmed by the creators, so it's just my headcanon). And she looked like the purple ponytails princess version of the autism stereotype that I didn’t want to see any more of. The genius who is into space and robots, knows nothing about human relationships and keeps driving everyone nuts with her long and impossible-to-follow scientific monologues. Also cute and funny, yeah, but still, as someone on the spectrum who is super artistic and has nothing to do with science stuff, my first reaction was "dang, not this shit again." Just for once in my life, I wanted to see an autistic representation that's not just that typical weird tech-lover but a character that's at least a tiny bit more like me. Seeing her only in her first episode, little did I know that Entrapta's character has an incredible depth and her whole arc was going to be hair-raisingly personal to me (I know I'm not funny, but pun intended).

First, let’s talk about robots, because we can't talk about Entrapta without talking about robots. Entrapta builds robots just for fun, because technology is her thing, but there's actually a lot more behind this. Starting from as early as her debute episode, we see through the whole series that she creates robots with different designs, abilities, personalities, very similar to real people, as a sort of substitute for the human (or whatever species) company she'd wish to have. She even gives them names. She programs them to like being around her, to understand her, something that she hasn't really experienced from real people, which is sad enough on its own, but even sadder if we consider that she actually has human staff working at her fortress. She pretty literally makes friends, and she does it with the help of her special interest. And this totally reminds me of my primary school years when I had zero real friends and used my special interest, which was writing fictional stories and creating worlds/universes/languages in my head, to make up imaginary characters that could be my "friends" so that I wouldn't be that lonely.

Then, her interactions with other characters, especially with Hordak. Entrapta consoling Hordak in Huntara is a very powerful scene to me, not only what she says, but also how she says it. When Hordak starts venting about how he is a failure and all, Entrapta's first immediate response is to provide a practical solution, to design an armor for him, and comforting him with words is only a secondary action. She's helping in her own way, with technology, because that's what she's the best at, but she also wants to make sure he understands that fixing imperfections isn't always the solution, embracing them is. I also love how it's hinted with the "loved" crystal that Entrapta's love language may be acts of service (and probably quality time as well), which is another thing we have in common. And there's another thing in that scene I found very relatable: that part when she stops consoling him and starts to talk about herself being a failure instead. In real life, most people would read that in a negative way. I've been in many situations where I've tried doing something similar to people who were venting to me, and normally, they're like "ew, I'm the one complaining now, stop making it about you." But Hordak's reaction is different, all he does is try to tell her she's not a failure before she shushes him, then he just listens. He understands what Entrapta means by saying all those things about herself isn't "hey, look, my life is also horrible, so I get to complain, too" but rather "I feel you, we're the same". For a person who thinks and acts as differently from average people as Entrapta does, connecting with someone through similar experiences and feelings is a huge thing, and this is so relatable to me that I cried like a baby while watching that scene. Also, kudos to Christine Woods for making Entrapta's monologue sound so factual and casual. It really gives the impression of someone who is fully aware of her own strengths and weaknesses and accepts herself as a whole with all her flaws. The way she lists all the things that make her feel like a failure right after saying "imperfection is beautiful" is just... wow. But seriously, this whole "imperfection is beautiful" thing in general is such a cliché that it's not even supposed to work on me, but hell it does, because it's so well-presented that it's actually one of the most powerful moments of the whole series. Entrapta giving me self-acceptance lessons is all I've ever needed in my life (Hordak probably agrees, lol).

Speaking of self-acceptance, I also love how Beast Island shows that it's a long and difficult process with its ups and downs instead of just a door you walk through once in your life and then stay on the other side forever. Even if I accept and love myself the way I am, it's still totally normal to have low points with thoughts like "I'm not suited for friendship" or "everyone leaves me behind". And it's very nice and uplifting to have someone's love and support when I'm in a bad mood with stuff like this on my mind, but personally, I often find it easier to deal with if I have something related to any of my special interests around that I can focus my thoughts on. My "we flew here on an ancient First Ones ship, do you wanna see it?" would be something like "do you wanna create some characters and then write the shit out of them?" and before this show I've never actually realised how neurodiverse it is to use a hobby or interest for self-care like this. The "definitely the ship" part called me out so hard, and I just adore how the writers were able put so much meaning into a single joke line.

Back to interactions, there's also something painfully relatable in the way the other princesses treat Entrapta. Even in the beginning in No Princess Left Behind, but mostly in season 4 and 5. In most cases, Entrapta is only considered to be worthy enough to not be left behind in situations when her skills are useful. Other characters "liking" her isn't really about herself as a person but her tech knowledge. Just like when you go to school and the only reason your classmates want to make friends with you is because you always do your homework and let others copy it, or you're good at explaining stuff and are willing to help people getting prepared for tests/exams. When I was in grammar school, my classmates ignored me or mocked me for liking animation and comics, but every now and then they did the bare minimum of treating me like a human being and expected me to do their arts homework in return, because I was the only one in my class who was good at arts. When I studied linguistics at the uni, I was really into phonology and historical linguistics, and those were the compulsory subjects most of the other students were struggling with, so many people wanted to hang out with me just to make sure they could get my notes before the exams. The same people kept calling me nerd and making fun of me behind my back. I also had a few genuine friends, which I'm grateful for, but I still know what it feels like to be needed only for a specific skill while not being noticed and respected as a person, and Launch portraits this experience in a very clever way. It's so amazing to see how the princesses realise who Entrapta really is and start to treat her as someone who just thinks differently instead of someone who's a deliberate bad person. They finally get to see that she's not just an unwary tech nerd, but also a determined, caring and loyal friend who gives others so much love in her own geeky way and deserves love, too. But I shouldn't even be surprised, I mean, we're talking about a show that teaches us "you worth more than what you can give to other people," and it's great how this message applies to other characters as well, not only to Adora. And the best part is that this whole conflict is not presented as something black and white, it's not like Entrapta is the poor misunderstood autistic person and the princesses are the evil allistic bad guys who mistreat her. It's simply a miscommunication between neurotypical and neurodivergent individuals, and while the other princesses get to understand that they hurt Entrapta by their actions and that they should be more respectful of her, Entrapta also realises that she's made mistakes and hurt people, becomes aware of her own bad habits and makes efforts to get rid of them in order to save Glimmer. Plus I also love the faint implication that most of the princesses never really, genuinely, 100% make friends with Entrapta even after this scene, because sometimes people just don't resonate with each other enough to become close friends, but they learn to accept her differences and treat her with respect, nonetheless. This episode is so full of realistic interactions and character development it blows my mind every time I rewatch it.

I could just go on and on about all those tiny relatable details such as "I've waited years for someone to ask me about my theories!" I think this was the line that first made me fall in love with Entrapta's character. I mean, if someone from the crew wrote this line, that means they might know the feeling, too, so I'm not the only dork who feels this way every time someone asks me a question about my hyperfixations. And it's just so reassuring. Entrapta has many lines of the kind, they're not even important plotwise, but still super relatable and validating.

Now that we're here, and I know that I probably should have said this at the beginning of the post, but I'm too lazy to rewrite the first paragraph accordingly, I'd like to note that these are all my own interpretations and reflections on Entrapta's character based on my own experiences. This whole thing is totally personal, and I don't want anyone to think that this is how Entrapta is supposed to be seen by the whole fandom. So yeah, that's pretty much it for now.

[chasseurdeloup-retired]

Listening to Fear || Athena and Kaden

TIMING: Before the scream LOCATION: The woods PARTIES: @athenaquinn and @chasseurdeloup SUMMARY: Two hunters enter the woods. One phobid has fun.

Knife in hand, Kaden wasn’t sure how long he stood there at the edge of the trail staring up at the trees, eyes trying to find the tops of the branches, see where one tree ended and the other began. It was impossible to tell. It was also impossible to sort through what he was feeling even though he was certainly trying to. First hunt after spilling the beans to Regan. Well, as best he could manage. Somehow he expected there to be a lot more weight off his shoulders on this next hunt, but he didn’t quite feel it. Something was still nagging at him. He let out a deep exhale through his nose. He supposed it hardly mattered. What mattered was-- People screaming? And running out of the forest. “Putain,” he muttered to himself as he took off running in the direction they came from. No time to worry about feelings and crap now. He had a job to get done and he tore through the trees to get to the scene. A flash of blonde hair caught his eye across the way. “Pipsqueak if that’s you, I swear to god,” he grumbled. The last thing he needed was Blanche out in the woods getting in his way on a hunt.

Even if she didn’t intend for them to, many of Athena’s explorations on the trails around town often ended in a hunt. Admittedly, she had come into the forest today with a partial purpose to hunt, even if she didn’t know exactly what she was looking for. Not that it mattered - this town had more than enough for her to deal with. She’d been working on her breathing recently - because reacting too strongly to fae was not about to do her any good in any sort of situation. She just had to concentrate - though she also knew that she had to welcome the feeling, to welcome how viciously uncomfortable it made her feel whenever any sort of fae was nearby. This time, however, she saw the response before she could feel the fae - a number of hunters screaming and running out of the forest. Shortly after, she could feel goosebumps rise on her arms and she took off. She only skidded to a halt when she heard someone else. “I don’t know who you’re talking to, but I don’t appreciate that nickname.” Turning a corner around a tree she spotted a man. What was he doing here? Why hadn’t he left with the rest of everyone else? He wasn't fae, not as far as she could sense. There was something vaguely familiar about him, but she couldn’t quite place it. “My name is Athena, and I appreciate being referred to as such.”

Oh. Not Blanche. It was someone else entirely. Kaden supposed that was good. “Sorry, thought you were someone else. Someone more obnoxious, about your height, maybe a little shorter, blonde hair though I guess it’s blue sometimes, and she just never stops talki--” A screaming hiker came barreling down the path right into Kaden. He cursed and grumbled as he moved out of the way, almost tossing the man to the side. The poor guy seemed so scared, it was a wonder he didn't piss in his pants. There was another scream or two not too far off. Putain, he had to figure out what the hell was going on here. There were too many monsters to name that could scare a group of unsuspecting hikers shitles. The problem was, it didn’t seem like anything big or barreling was nearby, he’d have heard it. No wolf, probably not a beast. But what the fuck was it. “You’d better clear out, ki-- Athena.” Something about her demeanor, even though she was young, told him that “kid” wasn’t going to go over well with her. “This is dangerous.”

“I -” Athena shook her head. “Well, no. I’ve never even dyed my hair. Not once. Once Lilia said we should, for bid day, but I -” her words and the man’s were both cut off by another scream. She pressed her tongue against her teeth, trying to deduce what was going on. What was causing all of this. She knew very well that some sort of fae was around, but there could have been something else here, too. Whatever was around needed to be dealt with, and this slick-haired guy was blocking her from doing that. She knew that she didn’t even always look twenty, but she wasn’t going to let that stop her. Let him stop her, either. “I’m not going anywhere.” She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. “You, however, should probably go somewhere. I’ve got something to deal with, then I’ll go back home. Don’t worry.” She could feel the knife in her boots and the two against her hips. Practically begging to be used. She pursed her lips when she noticed that he was still standing there. “I’ve really got this. I hike in these woods all the time.”

“Me? I should leave?” Kaden scoffed at her suggestion. “Right. Not going to happen. I’m trained for situations like this. I’ve got it covered. Go home.” He charged past her into the woods without a second glance at her. Hopefully she wasn’t stupid enough to follow. And if she was, he’d work around her but he had a feeling she’d be running scared like the hikers back there. Confidence and cockiness only got you so far up against a monster. In the clearing, he paused and listened, tried to use whatever senses he could to suss out the situation. He didn’t feel anything, even anything small or subtle. No beasts nearby. Had to be some other kind of monster, fae or undead most likely. And he didn’t see anything big or scary. So why were they running away like that? Kaden spun around at the sound of rustling behind him, pulling his knife out of his pocket on instinct. Putain, it was the girl “I thought I told you to leave, this is dange--” His words cut off as he heard something behind him, but as soon as he turned to look, it was gone. All he saw was the bounce of some branches and the rustle of the leaves. Fuck, what was it?

“Yes. You should.” Athena fought away the urge to cross her arms and give a less-than-polite retort back to the man. What was he doing here, anyhow? She knew that this town attracted thrill seekers, so maybe he was one of those? It was people like that who made her job more difficult. “I’m sure whatever American Ninja Warrior type of gym you belong to has made you believe that, but I’m actually trained for this.” Great, so now she was going to have to deal with some guy who was way too confident for his own good and a fae that she still couldn’t see. After another moment she felt her whole body tense up. She made a note to continue working on that during her trainings. Not that she wanted a repeat of the whole fae incident back in March, but every time she felt like doubling over when she was around fae made her wish that she had a better handle on that particular aspect of her training. Thankfully, it hadn’t done much of anything to diminish her hunting skills, she thought, a smirk crossing her face. Hardly paying attention to the knife that the man had. Just then, out of the corner of her eye she spotted something. Dark, winged, and with what appeared to be white eyes. Phobid. At least that explained why the hikers had been screaming. “You seriously want to get out of here.” The phobid’s wings fluttered as it rose up from the branch it was sitting on. “The sooner the better.” She pulled one of her knives out from its resting place against her hip. “I’ve got this handled.” She glanced over at his. “Go use that for something else. This isn’t some stupid deer. Also, if it were, I’d advise against that sort of knife. Just a helpful tip from a local!” She flashed him a grin, though it was more passive-aggressive than kind. With a small wave of her hand, she turned back to face the branch where the phobid sat, lips pursed.

“American what?” Kaden asked, face scrunched in confusion. She had to have heard his accent and had some idea he wasn’t American. Or a ninja. Warrior, well, that depended on who you asked. Still seemed a little over the top to him. Still, he found himself rolling his eyes once again at her assessment. “Girl scouts hardly qualifies as survival training but good luck.” He couldn’t stop her, not in any way that was appropriate or that he was comfortable with, so if she insisted on following, he’d work around her. And try to keep her from getting killed. Which is why in the clearing he ignored her, let her insist that he was wrong. It didn’t matter. What mattered was pinning down the location of the monster there sending people screaming. Kaden stood still, taking in the sounds, only to be interrupted by her chatter. “I know it’s not a fucking deer. And I know what my own knives are good for thank you very fucking much, Tinkerbell.” He’d missed the creature again, but he heard it flitter. He glanced at her and followed her eyeline up to the trees and saw the small black, winged figure sitting there.

By the time Kaden realized he’d made a mistake it was too late, his eyes had locked on the creature’s glowing ones and he felt the panic rising within him. A phobid. Rationally, he knew that, knew what it was, but the grass around him suddenly felt too tall, too green. His pulse was picking up, heart starting to pound against his chest, and he shut his eyes tight, trying to force the fear from flooding his senses. He heard the small creature cackling. “Ouh more big legs,” it said with a voice not so different from Rumpleskuffs��. “More fun!” it added. Run. He had to run. Get away from the grass and the plants and the green. That’s what he has to d— No. No. He could push past this. It wasn’t real. He pulled a deep breath into his lungs and held it there a moment, grip tightened around his knife. The only thing that should feel fear is the phobid flitting around. He opened his eyes a little as he could, only viewing the world through small slits. His shaking hand put his knife away and scrambled to get the crossbow off of his back. He caught sight of the wings through the trees. The wings. Made of veins connected with glassy membranes. So similar to Regan’s. No. Not now. This wasn’t the same. Not even a little. He took a deep breath, aimed, and started firing into the trees, aim shaky. The cackling continued to echo through the clearing. “Now might be a good time to get going,” he shouted to the girl.

“American Ninja Warrior.” Athena made a face. “Look, just because you’re not from around here doesn’t mean you have to totally lack awareness of pop culture. I think the show is ridiculous, but I still know what it is.” She tapped her foot against the ground, giving a small huff at his mention of Girl Scouts. “Oh, obviously not. However, I did most of my brother’s work for Boy Scouts, and I’ve got plenty of other experience.” She certainly wasn’t a fan of this over-greased man making snide remarks about her. Even though she did know that her looks certainly worked to her benefit when out hunting. She just usually didn’t have to deal with other people underestimating her, because most of them were willing to leave her be once she asked. “Oh, absolutely not.” She knew that her voice was perhaps a bit too high pitched, and that her brother might’ve winced had he been around. “Don’t you dare call me that.” She could feel her body tense up, far too many memories of teachers in early elementary school remarking on what a lovely Tinkerbell she’d make for Halloween. She’d resented it then, and she could at least acknowledge that they had meant well. This time, she wasn’t so sure. “Well I don’t need a knock-off James Dean telling me what to do, thank you very much.”

She could spot the second that the fear overtook him. Amateur, she thought to herself. This was why people should just let her handle what she was expert at. Athena averted her eyes from the creature, though that didn’t stop its awful voice from reverberating throughout the clearing. She could slit its throat simply due to the laughter. Adjusting her posture, she turned to face the other man who was now fumbling around. Fumbling to find a crossbow. Athena rolled her eyes. “That’s not going to do anything. You’ve seen the size of that…” thing. Monster. “You need to get up close and personal. Take your Robin Hood antics elsewhere.” She pulled one of her knives out from its resting place against her hips. “Girl Scouts didn’t teach me this.” She flipped it deftly between her fingers. “Also, word of advice, don’t look into its eyes again.” She ran her finger against the cool iron of the face of the knife. “I’m not going anywhere. One of us is having a bit of a time of it and it’s not me.” In any other situation, she might’ve smirked, but this guy, whoever he was, was going to get himself killed. “Would it help if I told you in French? Would that get you to leave?” She grabbed another one of her knives (from her boot this time) and threw it against the tree where the phobid sat, watching the two of them. “See? I’ve got it.” Another giggle echoed through the clearing. “Oooh, keep-a fightin’!” The phobid cackled. “Soon you’ll be all alone. Alone in the woods, what fun!”

Kaden huffed out a laugh. Something about what he said got under her skin apparently. Guess she wasn’t a fan of small obnoxious blondes, huh? Or people with wings. Oh. Oh. Well that made a whole lot more sense now. Putain. He was stuck with a warden. This was fine. He would be fine. He was a hutner. Regan wasn’t here. Obviously. He didn’t need to be worried about being around a small, probably teenaged warden. That’s what he told himself at least. “James Dean, huh? I’ll take it. I could do worse.”

Too bad his shots weren’t landing the way his insults had. Kaden grumbled about it to himself while she tried to offer tips and tricks. “I don’t need you’re fucking advice pint size pixie,” he spat back, trying to line up another shot while his hands were shaking from stupid fear. And she had to mention the eyes. He was pretty fucking aware considering he felt like everything around him was terrifying. “I know,” he said through grit teeth, trying to keep his pulse from rising. Each blade of grass looked like knives, rising up to cut him, tear him down and prick him, make him bleed. Shit, no, no, it was just grass. He had to remember that it was just a trick, not real.

The show with the knife brought him back to reality and he rolled his eyes. Why the fuck did people like to use a party trick while in the middle of a hunt? “Quit showing off. You didn’t even hit the damn th--” Kaden cut off his words with a shout as he saw something crawling up along her back. A giant spider leg creeping behind her back. Or was it a wing? He threw himself at her, pinning her down, trying to brush the “wings” off her back while the tiny fae giggled and laughed up in the trees. “Big legs, big legs, fight fight fight!”

“You could do a heck of a lot better too, though, just saying.” She had to laugh - she knew that she ought not to, but this man was being so incredibly haphazard about everything and he was going to get both of them killed if Athena didn’t do something, and quick. “Don’t call me that.” She hissed. He was shaking, and he had looked into its eyes, and she really didn’t have the time nor the patience to be dealing with this right now. Though if she thought about it like a lesson - like one of the many lessons her parents put her through - then she could manage it. If she refocused herself and centered herself - because right now the real problem was the phobid. It would be more than enough to blind it, but she found that right now she was more keen to be done with it altogether - lest she risk it accidentally causing greater harm.

“You know and yet you still did it. Maybe you should do a review lesson. No harm in that,” he had to be a hunter, either that, or an especially cocky normal human, “we can’t all know everything.” Athena shrugged at his comment, though before she could completely respond, he’d knocked her to the ground and she struggled briefly under his weight, “get off me!” She screeched, kneeing him in the stomach, hoping it would knock the wind out of him at least so that she could do something. “I was making a point. If I want to hit something, I always make my mark.” A small giggle escaped her lips. However, the fae’s voice cut through the air and she rolled her eyes. “You’re gonna regret saying that.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose!” Kaden snapped back at her. This. This was why he worked alone usually. That and when he did, there was no one around to see him make his mistakes. Like falling for a goddamn phobid’s illusions. But even if he knew the possibilities, the risks of the fae they were fighting, once they were in front of him, it was hard to remember that the illusions weren’t real. His pulse peaked as he tried desperately to get the wings off of her. The spider legged wings that were-- Not… there? His hands were going through them and before he could put the pieces together, he felt a sharp jab to his stomach and the breath leave his body. “Putain,” he wheezed out as he doubled over. The sound of cackling filled the clearing as the small, obnoxious creature flitted around. At least someone was having a good time. Kaden braced himself on his hands and knees, trying to breathe properly again. But it felt like the grass was getting bigger, like the blades might slice him raw. Not real, not real, he had to tell himself it wasn’t real as he shut his eyes tight, focusing on getting his shallow breathing a little deeper. It was hard when panic was creeping in. He kept his eyes closed, felt the ground beneath his fingers. “Catch it,” he choked out. “Have to-- Do you have,” deep gasp, “a net or..?” The giggling and glee persisted in the trees. “Can’t catch, can’t catch, nah nah nah nah nah!” Fae or not, Kaden was really looking forward to whacking this little shit over the head. Once he felt like he could breathe again, Kaden sat up and shrugged off his jacket. Not exactly a great net but it would have to do in a pinch.

“Review lessons are still of benefit.” Athena shrugged. “At least, that’s what I was always taught.” He was still trying to get some sort of imaginary something or other off of her but she was glad to see that the knee to his stomach had done its job. She quickly jumped up and dusted off her thighs, before narrowing her eyes at him. Clearly, she should have been doing this all on her own because even though she was inclined to believe that he was a hunter, he certainly wasn’t acting very much like one. Perhaps that wasn’t entirely fair, if he wasn’t a warden he couldn’t be expected to know just as much about fae as she did, but it didn’t make her any less annoyed. She’d just have to channel whatever annoyance she was feeling toward defeating the fae. “No, I don’t have a net.” She said, biting down on the tip of her tongue. Ignoring the incessant whining of the fae, the way that it made her want to claw her skin off, if she focused too much on it. “Yes. Jacket, that’ll work.” At least something useful can come of this, she thought to herself. “If we get it down here, just throw that over it and I can take care of the rest of it.” A malicious smirk crossed her lips as she looked up to the other hunter. “Then it won’t bother anyone ever again.”

“No one asked you,” Kaden hissed. He didn’t know if she was actually a hunter or even more specifically a warden, but he didn’t care. He was tired of little miss-know-it-all already. He was also tired of feeling his blood pounding in his veins, heart racing. Stupid fucking phobid. Maybe if he told himself what he was fighting, reminded himself in the back of his mind, he could push past all the illusions; he could stop worrying that the grass would cut him up and chop him to little pieces. Putain it was so stupid. “If you don’t have a net then why bother telling me my method is stupid?” he grumbled. He lined up the crossbow where he saw flittering in the trees, railing off shots one after another, hoping it would come close. It squeaked and darted back across the way, staying just out of reach. “Hey, you!” Kaden called out. “Ouh, scary big legs thinks he can talk back. What does he say? Are you going to attack the smaller one again? More more more!” it said, cackling as it darted away again. “Come down here and I’ll look right in your eyes. Think of all the fun you’ll have. I’ll make sure.” That seemed to pique its interest and the phobid peaked out from behind a branch. “You promise?” it asked. Kaden was careful to look to the side, away from the glowing orbs staring back at him. “Come closer and I’ll prom--” The fae got overly excited and swooped down. Just as he’d hoped. “I’ll promise to think about it!” he finished as he threw the jacket over the creature, pulling the ends together and trapping it inside. “Got it!” he shouted.

“Free advice. Seems like you might need it.” Athena spat back. She stretched for a moment, reaching her hands above her head. Readying her posture so that she would be able to act as quickly as was required. The man’s incessant nagging was doing her no favors in the concentration department, but every bothersome experience was a chance for greater growth, she reminded herself. Reminded herself again as he had the sheer audacity to make a remark on her not bringing a net. “I have my other ways and I could’ve gotten to it without it wreaking havoc all over this forest.” However, his teasing and nagging were good for one thing. The phobid seemed keen to cause greater trouble and with the man’s near promise - something that Athena had half a mind to give him a run-down lesson about - it flitted down through the tree branches, cackling in a pitch that even made Athena’s ears ache. The other man grabbed it in his jacket and a smirk crossed Athena’s face as she went over to him and grabbed the jacket, holding it in one hand, the buzzing of the phobid’s annoyance more pleasant now. “What should I do with it first, do you think?” She raised an eyebrow, adjusting her hands’ position so that she held tight to the jacket from below as she quickly unwrapped it and grabbed a hold of the phobid before it could fly away. “I could start with the eyes or the wings. Which do you think is best?”

Kaden wasn’t sure what he expected after he caught it. It was a phobid. They were hunters. If his suspicions were right, she was a warden. It should be easy. “What do you mean first?” he said, brows furrowed as she took the fae in her fingers. “Just kill--” Kaden’s eyes caught sight of the wings, twitching and fluttering in panic, hoping to get away, anywhere but there. He saw the wings. Bigger than any insect’s though similar enough. Much smaller than Regan’s. Nearly the same as Rumpleskuffs. “You promised! You promised! Big legs are all the same! Rotten evil tricky! I’ll make you scared! I will I will I will!” The fae’s voice sounded panicked and pathetic. It was hard to think of it as something worthy of scorn and hate or even fear. Then he heard her, the ire in her voice. “Wait what? Start with-- Why would you-- Just--” Just kill it? Should they kill it? It.. Was it harming anyone? Kaden shook his head, remembered his pulse, remembered the screaming hikers and terrified people. “No torture. Just kill it. Show it one kindness.” His voice was cold, stern. This wasn’t Rumpleskuffs. Or Regan. This creature hurt people. It-- It wasn’t the same. “No, no, no! Stop!” the phobid screamed while under her grasp. He clenched his jaw and tried not to feel.

“I mean how should we go about this?” She looked curiously at the other hunter. Athena wholly ignored the screaming phobid. It served it right, to be scared. Particularly when it had already done so much ever since she arrived in the forest, and who knew what it could have done before then. Her brother might have winced at what she was about to do, she considered for a moment. Just like back with the foireaux cat. “I think it deserves to be dealt with in pieces. Don’t you?” She narrowed her eyes for a moment. “Kindness? To this?” She half-spat. What kind of hunters were in this town? What kind of hunter would she be if she showed such a thing kindness? She grasped it harder, blue-painted nails nearly touching one another as she held it tightly. “Stop this! No, no! I’ll make you pay!” The phobid screamed. This had to be dealt with smoothly and quickly, now. With a quick movement of her hands, Athena sliced into one of its wings before running the blade across its eyes. “One kindness?” She looked up at the other hunter. “I’ll put it out of its misery.” She dug the knife right into where she supposed its heart would be, before dropping it onto the forest floor. “Just like you asked for.”

“Just kill it and be done,” Kaden repeated, voice harsher, but even in tone. He flinched at the sight of her cutting through the fae’s wings and eyes, turning away as she tore through it, like it was nothing. No, he was going to watch her, gaze hard, body still as she killed the creature. The wings twitched a moment as it fell on the ground with a small pathetic thud. Anger boiled through his blood, but it wasn’t at the monster, not now. Kaden reached out and grabbed her wrist, the one that had held the knife, and yanked it, twisted it so her weapon fell beside the creature. “Never do that again.” He stood over her, looking down, voice low and even just as before. “We kill monsters, we don’t torment them. We’re better than them.” He let go of her wrist, practically throwing it back to her. “The longer you take to kill a monster, the more time it has to kill you.” Kaden picked up his jacket and put his crossbow on its strap across his back. “Free advice. I think you might need it.” With that he turned and walked away, uninterested in spending any more time with the warden.

“No.” She replied. Athena knew full well that elongated periods of torture could cause more trouble than they could help, but there was something about his attitude that made her crave acting out. Relishing in the lack of comfort that he felt as she did so. She craved the control rather desperately, and this allowed it. He grabbed her wrist tightly and she winced for a moment before pushing the pain down. Responding with weakness wouldn’t do her any favors. She watched the knife fall to the ground, a certain sort of pain shooting up her arm. Work through the pain. “Don’t tell me what to do. I’m the only one who could manage this.” She giggled, then, too high-pitched and carefree for the given scenario. “We kill monsters, and sometimes a bit of a lesson needs to be taught.” Her voice was clipped, repeating words that she’d heard in some variation beforehand. “I know. But this thing wasn’t going to do anything to me. When I kill proper fae, I don’t let them stand a chance. Not once, not now, not ever.” She snorted. “I don’t need your advice. I’m plenty fine just on my own.” She bent down to pick up her knife, running her finger along the face of the blade, before giving a shrug. “See you around sometime, Robin Hood.”

[zahneundklauen-retired]

Phases|| Ariana and Alcher

TIMING: Sometime before Ariana lost her name PARTIES: @letsbenditlikebennett and @zahneundklauen SUMMARY: Two wolves meet in the woods and walk side by side. A bond is forged.

With everything happening with Ace, Ariana welcomed the thought of actually being able to protect someone on a hike in the woods. Maybe she was in over her head when it came to Ace. What the hell did she know about fae anyway? She was a werewolf, it wasn’t like it was her job to protect humans or anything, but she cared about him. He was kind and he’d provided so much comfort to her during her own difficult times. It felt wrong to let him just be… whatever the hell he was to Lydia. Maybe she couldn’t do anything there, but she could keep a new human in town from becoming spinach or giant lobster food. A hike and meeting someone new would be a great way to get this whole thing off her mind for the moment anyway. She leaned against one of the wooden posts near the trailhead that she and Alcher agreed to wait at. She kept her ears and nose in tune with her surroundings feeling a little more on edge as of late. The smell of another wolf reached her nose before she heard the crunch of leaves under footsteps. It wasn’t a wolf she knew. She wondered if they were sniffing her out as they got closer and then she recognized Ada’s face from her profile. “Hey,” she greeted, a questioning eyebrow cocked, “Are you a-- Ada? Sorry, Ada, right?” 

 This town, though strange, had been more than welcoming. Alcher had explored a bit of the human downtown, enjoying picking out easy prey and memorizing their scents. Though the new moon was soon, it was never a bad idea to scout your targets early. She would be quite hungry after its passing. Going three days without feeding was difficult, but she was practiced in it by now and was comfortable knowing there was no lack of food here. Even the wildlife was abundant. And though it never tasted quite as good, it left much less of a body trail. But in order to hunt properly, getting to know the woods was at the top of her list. That was how Alcher found herself crawling from her shack that afternoon and shouldering a backpack. A just in case bag. She never knew what she would encounter or what might happen during, it was best to always come prepared. Though the town mostly reeked of human, there were other scents thrown in. Wood and metal and dust, all coming from human looking forms. But she had not sniffed out any other wolves yet. Either they weren’t here like she’d heard, or they were better at hiding than most. In a town like this, she supposed that was fair. But if she could rid this place of its hunter infestation, then they could run free again. 

 She was miles from their meetup spot when she smelled her. A young one. Barely a young adult. As  Alcher climbed the path to where she was meeting Ariana, the scent became clear-- it was the child waiting for her. “You are a wolf,” Alcher said, passing up the greeting.  She knew Ariana knew as well. It was impossible not to know. “I’ve been looking for you. Are there others?”

 Immediately, Ariana liked Ada. She was straightforward and to the point. No beating around the bush about what they both knew. They were wolves and it was an important connection to share. It was nicer to just have all that out in the open. She laughed lightly and nodded. “Yes, I’m a wolf. I try to be a little more… tactful about that kinda stuff.” Mostly because Ulfric advised her to. Even if she only half listened and still sniffed out others like her anyway, she could at least try to be graceful about it. This was preferred though. It felt better. Her face was a bit puzzled momentarily before she had a light bulb moment. “Looking for me? Oh,” she started, “You mean wolves in general got ya. Is that why you came to White Crest?” A million questions started running through her own mind as she gestured toward the trail so they could walk and talk. It was cool to meet an older wolf who was a woman. She wondered if she was a total badass. She kind of seemed like it, but they’d get to know each other. She answered the other wolf’s question carefully, “Quite a few others, at least that I know. I live with two. Sort of a long story there, but I’d be happy to introduce you to them. Ulfric is the wolf who took me in af-- We’re building a cabin so that’s pretty cool. He’s from Norway actually! He owns Ink Inc. if you ever feel like getting a cool wolfy tattoo.” She gestured to her leg to show off her wolf tattoo that Ulfric had done back when they first met. She hadn’t meant to get rambly, but she decidedly didn’t want to get into the fact her hunter sister died with a wolf she just met. 

 Alcher smiled. This little wolf was eager and enthusiastic-- not all wolves shared that mindset and it often concerned her. She followed in step with the little wolf, wondering if she would notice her sussing her out. She wanted her to notice, wanted to know how sharp she was. A keen eye was what kept you alive. “I have never found truth in tact, but I understand needing to protect yourself,” she said after a moment, “but there is no need to worry. I would never hurt another wolf.” As they walked, Alcher memorized the scent of the forest around them and of the little one. She smelled almost just like the forest and Alcher could not help but think of home. “It is why I came here. I heard rumor of a pack in town and came to see for myself. I’d love to meet them, if they’re willing.” Because she understood that some wolves were hostile and territorial. They would bow to her eventually, but she would give them space for now if that’s what they wanted. “Ulfirc? I spoke to an Ulfric online. I understand our kinship, now,” she said softly. “And he takes good care of you? Is he teaching you how to be a proper wolf?”

 Ariana gave Alcher a quizzical look. It seemed the other wolf was really studying her and she wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. Her brow raised up in a way that seemed to ask the question ‘you good?’ It was hard to imagine another wolf would actually hurt her. If she could get two beast hunters to find her too adorable to kill, she was sure she was pretty fucking set in the wolf category. She couldn’t help but laugh at Ada’s statement. “You’re not wrong. Tact isn’t my strong suit, but I’m trying to be better about that. I sometimes like to listen to Ulf’s advice,” she said with a playful look. Ariana led Ada down one of her favorite trails in the woods. She went running down it often and brought Luna more often than not these days. There was something about the way the trees canopied and the always lingering scent of different prey that made it particularly appealing to her. Plus, it was rugged and really increased her strength and endurance. “You’re definitely not wrong. I’m sure most of them would be. I wanted to have some sort of end of summer barbecue. Well, barbecue plus a few vegan options for my best friend. I know… vegan werewolf is wild. Like girl, I literally always want meat.” It made her happy to know that Ada and Ulf seemed to share some sort of kinship as she put it. Since she’d known him, Ulf had gone out of his way to take care of her and keep her safe. He’d gone above and beyond the call of duty and she had no idea what she’d do without him. With a small chuckle, she answered, “Yeah, that’s him. I’m surprised the name wasn’t a dead giveaway. He takes good care of me, though. He’s done a lot for me and the other wolves. I’m not sure what I’d-- Ulf’s a good guy. He’s taught me a lot about wolf things. I was born a wolf, but I didn’t get to grow up with other wolves. So still cool to learn more, you know?” 

 The quick exchanged look told Alcher all she needed to know. Ariana was acute and aware, and that would make her a good wolf. And being young meant there was still time yet to shape her into an even better wolf. Her brows folded together for a moment at the mention of a wolf that did not eat meat, but she would not comment. Not until she knew more details. Perhaps this wolf was just new, uncared for, uneducated. It was not right, though, for a wolf to deny such a part of themselves. Alcher would help fix that. “I am sorry you were denied the chance to grow up with other wolves,” she said with a pitch of sorrow. Alcher couldn’t even imagine a life growing up without other wolves. How lonely and desolate it must have been. A pang ran through her chest. “I grew up in a large family, all of us born,” she explained quietly, “I can not imagine the loneliness you must have felt.” She kept in even stride with the younger girl, even as her joints groaned in slight protest, reminding her that the new moon had just passed. Should I have talked to mom more? The quick thought, foreign to her head, echoed. A quick glance to the sky before her eyes fell back to the trail, taking in its scents, memorizing its winding path. Ignoring the interruption as best she could. “But you are not alone now, I’m sure that is nice. And you like it here? You like the others?” 

 While growing up, part of Ariana had always longed to be around other wolves, she still wouldn’t trade the memories she and Celeste had made growing up for anything. Especially not now when she’d give just about anything to be given the chance to make more. Maybe she didn’t have others like her when she was young, but Celeste had never made her suppress who and what she was. It was hard to not long for those days again. Still, she shrugged and responded, “It wasn’t bad or anything. Ce- My guardian was really great.” Maybe the other wolves in town hadn’t been the family she grew up with, but she considered them all family just the same. They were there for each other like family was supposed to be. Still, Alcher’s family sounded pretty great. “That must have been a lot of fun. I like having lots of wolves around now,” she said with a small smile. “Oh, I wouldn’t say it was lonely. I mean, I did always wish I had other wolves, but-- I don’t know, I can look back on most of my childhood memories fondly.” Maybe not entirely truthful, the memories still brought a certain sadness. She hadn’t quite learned how to live without Celeste just yet, but she was trying. Ari kept leading the way down the path, noting the subtle changes that came about day to day in nature. The smells were mostly familiar and everything seemed to be as it was supposed to. “I’m not. It is nice though. I’ve gotten close with the wolves I’ve met here. White Crest is a little…” She wasn’t quite sure how to explain. Not that long ago, she loved everything about this place, but now everything seemed to be spinning out of control around her. “Let’s just say we’re one of the more normal parts of town here. Can get a little dicey, but I like it anyway. Mostly because of said wolves and a few others. You liking it so far?” 

 Ariana was quite the talker. Alcher had never found words to be her forte, but it certainly wasn’t a bad quality to have. It suited the young wolf well, in fact. She gave a gentle smile when Ariana turned to her. “There is more than one kind of loneliness, you know,” she pointed out quietly, before moving along to the other subjects. It did not seem like Ariana wished to dwell on that part of her past, and Alcher would give her that for now. They were just getting acquainted, after all. Alcher, however, did not miss the hidden sorrow in her voice as she spoke. It would be noted for later. “I have heard of the strange events that go on in this town. And that they are growing...ever curiouser. It’s admittedly part of the reason I came here and not somewhere else. I am enjoying my stay so far, yes. I am relieved that that carnival is no longer in town, though. That awful music was keeping me up at night.” She couldn’t help but give a chuckle-- of all the things to be distraught about, carnival music did not top her list, usually. This place was already making new strides for her. “You said your guardian was great. Were you not raised by your parents, then?” Had Ariana’s parents been killed by hunters, too? If she was born, it meant they were weres as well. Alcher’s curiosity roamed in her eyes as she looked at the younger wolf, searching. Wondering if maybe she’d found a kin so soon.

 While the older wolf seemed kind of serious, Ariana found her presence to be comforting. Her senses were still tuned into the sounds and smells of the forest surrounding them, but not having the added layer of potentially trying to protect a human added to that was a weight off her shoulders which had felt all too heavy as of late. “Yeah, that’s true. I guess I did always want to know other wolves when I was younger,” she agreed. Ada made a fair point. Even now as Ariana had more wolves and friends in her life than ever, there was still a loneliness that was hard to explain between constantly missing Celeste and worrying she was too close to losing Ace forever, too. She did her best to push those thoughts away and took  a moment to breathe in the fresh forest air. A familiar mix of salt, wood, and small animals filled her nose. If she was spot on in her instincts, there were some rabbits not too far ahead. It made her feel grounded again, enough so that she could let out a small life. “I see the town’s reputation precedes it. It’s admittedly why we came here.” Not that it did them much good in terms of staying under the Aquilla’s radar. “I like most of the weird. I could live without ever having another mime twin that turns into a striped, silent howling werewolf though. That was just rude. The carnival was fun though. Heard some people had a sketchy time with it though. You living nearby it? I could see the music totally getting annoying.” At the mention of growing up without her parents, she had to really push to keep her feet moving. She hadn’t quite meant to bring that up, but it wasn’t a secret. “Oh, yeah. I was really young when they died. My guardian actually died recently, too. It’s like a whole thing.” 

 “It was a comfort to have them around,” Alcher said quietly. She missed her brothers greatly, and though it’d been many years, the pain in her chest had remained steady. A constant reminder of what the world-- and the hunters-- had taken from her. A reminder of why she did what she did. She listened to Ariana’s story and felt that familiar heartache. Had she gone through something similar? Had hunters taken her parents away, too? There was almost a yearning behind the ache, but Alcher steadied herself. She could not get too attached, she never could. Her way of life made it that way for, and she’d been fine with that decision her entire life. She’d know what path she was walking when she left the wolves in Poland. “I lost my family when I was young as well,” she said in a gentle tone. She was not sharing to garner pity or sorrow, but to show Ariana that she was not alone in her suffering. “To hunters. I was fortunate, however, that we had a sister pack in Poland who agreed to raise me. Still, the ache my family left behind is always there,” she explained, lifting her head to the sky, taking in the sights and sounds and scents. “I’ve heard this town is where a lot of people like us come to start over,” a shrug, bringing her gaze back down to Ariana’s level. “I’m sorry you lost someone so recently, as well. You have people who can help you through it, though, yes?”

 Ariana could pick up on something almost longing in Ada’s voice. Though she was sure they had vastly different childhoods, she understood wishing back to those seemingly simpler times. More often than not, as everything in life kept piling up, she missed those days more and more. Somehow Celeste had always been able to fix things. There’s not much she wouldn’t give for that sense of love and guidance again. It wasn’t long before the wistfulness in Ada’s tone made sense. She’d lost her family, too. Somehow, it seemed easy enough to fill in the blanks. As much as she wanted a world where everyone could just stop killing each other, she knew most hunters weren’t like Celeste or even Rio. Before she could even ask, Ada explained it was hunters who killed her family. She looked down briefly as they forged ahead, “Mine too. The hunter thing that is.” She hadn’t initially planned on being so forthcoming, but Ada seemed to be blunt and would most likely appreciate honesty. “Even my guardian. She wasn’t a wolf, but she was protecting me.” She kept taking even steps ahead and tried to ignore the sadness that threatened to bubble over. Surely Ada could pick up on the pain in her voice, but as much was expected with loss. “I know no one can replace your family, but I’m glad you still had a pack looking out for you. Now that I’ve finally found other wolves, I couldn’t imagine going through life without them.” They came to a fork in the trail and Ariana pointed to the left. “The view’s better out this way, but yeah, seems to be the trend here. Theoretically a little easier to stay under the radar when you have murderous mimes and giant squid monsters inhabiting the town.” As much could not be true when she had developed a shoplifting problem, but Alcher didn’t need to know that. “I am, yeah. My guardian and I had been staying with Ulf even before she passed away. There was a bounty on me… for like no reason other than existing. It was like a whole thing. There’s not a-- those hunters are dead.” It was hard to feel bad for what happened to the Aquillas. Not when they had taken so much from her. Plus, she hardly doubted another wolf would fault her for killing the hunter who killed her parents and sister. “I know when we talked online, you said you’ve travelled a lot. Do you like seek out other wolves or something like that?” 

 The sound of Ariana’s voice was a familiar tone. It was sorrow. Recent sorrow. Pain that was dug deep into her bones and blood. Alcher understood this pain, she held it close to her own heart, and it pained her to know that someone this young felt it, too. Then again, she supposed she had been younger when her loss had come about. And of course it was hunters. Of course they had taken life from another wolf simply because of what they were, what they are. “Whoever your guardian was, she was a good woman,” she replied with a somber tone. She followed Ariana down the left path, letting her gaze fall to the brush and bramble around them for a moment, enjoying the silence and the sounds of nature. The words bounty pulled an anger in her chest and her gaze sharpened. “Did you kill them?” she asked her bluntly. The answer was important, but the intent behind it was much more important, the unasked question-- did you want to kill them? She let out a soft breath, regaining herself. “I do, yes. I lost my way for so long...when I finally found it, I realized my purpose in this life was to make sure no other wolf fell to what I did. I seek out packs to help them. To help them heal if they’ve lost, move on if they’re stuck, or come together, if they’ve parted. We all need to stick together, after all. There’s too much in this world that already tries to work against us.”

 Maybe not enough time had passed, but Ariana doubted this feeling would fade anytime soon. It was hard to think she’d ever feel like part of herself wasn’t missing anymore. There was no doubt in her that Ada knew the feeling well, but she found purpose all the same. Sometimes the only thing to do was push forward and hold those lost along the way near and dear. Even through the constant ache that ran deep, they could both still forge ahead. She nodded in agreement, “She was the best person I’ve ever known.” They moved through the forest and Ariana took time to let Ada really get to know the trail. It was one of her favorites. The way the canopy of leaves seemed to encompass the trail around them. She’d heard they were a lush shade of green, but she could never really tell. Even in a muted brown, they held a certain ethereal quality about them and the sound of them rustling was comforting and familiar. It always felt more home than any cityscape ever could. Walls and concrete felt restricting more often than not. She stopped in her tracks at the question. Admitting to murder upon first meeting someone didn’t scream smart idea, but she trusted as another wolf, Ada understood. “I did,” she answered, unsure if she should elaborate. It wasn’t something she regretted, but talking about murder as a positive thing still felt strange. “I don’t regret it. I had just never killed anyone like that before.” She began moving ahead again, listening as Ada explained what it was she did. “That’s pretty fucking cool. Traveling and helping wolves. Leaving has to be hard though, doesn’t it?” 

 Trust was something that needed to be earned. Alcher understood this with a sharp clarity. Sometimes it would take months for new wolves to trust her, despite the inherent connection they all had. Trust was something given, not forced. It was precious and fragile and tentative, but when gained, it was powerful. Alcher wanted Ariana to trust her. To be able to look at her like the pack back in Canada had, like how Alcher had looked at her sister pack in Poland. Someone to rely upon, someone to protect, someone to value. And while she knew it would take time, for all of that, the first step could be taken now. “Good,” she answered finally, the coolness of the breeze through the valley brushing her skin, “you shouldn’t regret it. You did the right thing. I’m proud of you.” She gave a nod and a gentle, encouraging smile, though her eyes remained sharp for the seriousness of the situation and the words. “Leaving is meant to be hard. But those packs needed to learn to stand on their own. It’s the nature of what I’ve chosen to do, and I’ve accepted this pain. I bare this burden so no one else has to.” And White Crest, she already felt, was going to be different. It was in her bones.

 There was something about their kindred nature that left Ariana feeling a little more at ease as they made it deeper into the wood. Ada was blunt and forthcoming while still having an almost soothing presence. There was no judgment for what she had done. In fact, she was met with approval. She expected most wolves would understand, but she could vaguely remember the feel of Lucas tugging at her shoulder as she mauled the hunter. If she really thought about it too hard, it made her mad, but at the end of the day, she got to be the one who made sure Adrian Aquilla drew his final breaths. He’d taken so much from her. Her parents. Likely other family members in their pack. Celeste. It only seemed right that if it couldn’t have been Celeste, it was her. “I don’t. The only thing I’d do differently is get to him before he got to Celeste. But thanks,” she responded slowly as she continued to take in her surroundings. The summer breeze caused the occasional rustle of leaves, but by all indications, they were alone. She listened and could understand what Ada meant, but it still seemed kind of sad in its way. “I guess, yeah. I don’t know, I’ve been so eager to find other wolves my whole life, I couldn’t imagine leaving now, even if life in this town just proves to be more and more difficult. What you’re doing though-- it’s good. Helping other wolves. I know the rest of the wolves in White Crest would be lucky to get to know you. How long have you been doing this?” 

 “I understand that feeling, wishing you could have done something differently. But don’t let it take over your mind too much, because what’s done is done. And all we can do now is live with it,” Alcher said softly, giving Ariana a stern, knowing look. She could still remember the years, the decades, she spent obsessing over if onlys. If only she’d been able to save her family, if only she’d seen it coming, if only she’d listened to her gut instinct. If only she’d been able to do anything but run. Cramped in the fireplace flue, waiting for her chance to run. If only she hadn’t been a coward and faced the hunters. But they had done nothing but make her feel sick and weak and unworthy. And none of that was true. Her family legacy would live on through her and, now that she was reaching an age where her limbs grew stiff with the weather, someone else she could help guide. “Like I said, it’s not a life everyone can live. And that’s okay. You’ve found your place in the world, and that’s good. I hope to one day settle somewhere, I suppose I just haven’t found my true home yet.” Every place she came to, she wondered if this would be it-- but she’d never found a true home. Not after hers was taken from her so forcibly. “Ariana,” she said suddenly, stopping, “I want to thank you for meeting me and showing me around. And there’s something I want you to know, but you must also understand why I don’t tell people right away.” She paused, waited. “My real name is Alcher Krieg. Because of what happened in my past, I must hide, so I ask that around others, you use Ada. But I do not want to lie to you. I hope you can understand why I was not truthful at first and not hold it against me.”

 “I’m trying not to. Things have just been a little crazy lately and it makes me miss her more, but I’m still doing the whole life thing and trying to move forward every day. I’m sure you know what I mean,” Ariana explained quietly, knowing Alcher would be able to hear and relate to what she was going through. It didn’t seem fair that wolves all seemed to have to go through this crippling feeling of loss. Especially when you lost those you loved so violently, it seemed so easy to get lost in a cycle of thoughts of all the little things that could have been done differently. Had she just stayed with the crowd at prom. Had she skipped out on it all together. Had she just heard the Aquillas approaching. None of that could be changed now, but at least they could never hurt anyone else. “You’re right, but it’s good to know the wolves of the world have someone out there trying to help. The more I get to know other wolves, the more I realize the world’s not exactly kind to us. I do hope you find somewhere that feels like home,” she said earnestly. When Ada suddenly stopped, Ariana looked to her with a look of concern. It seemed she was ready to share something about herself that she normally didn’t and she appreciated the older wolf could trust her. “Alcher Krieg. I like that name, it suits you, but I won’t tell it to anyone else. As far as anyone else is concerned you’re Ada. I get the name change thing and I prefer you to be safe and all.” 

 Alcher smiled. It was a gentle, sad smile. One that was full of an entire life of mourning and loss. But also strength and confidence. Pain, her father had told her, made you stronger. It gave you power. It gave you courage. To know pain is to know life. And knowledge is power. She reached out and put a guiding hand on Ariana’s shoulder. “I hope one day soon we can get to know each other better,” she said firmly, “you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders, Ariana.” She took a small step back and gestured around them. “How about we finish our walk with nature now? We can always talk again later. Sometimes it’s better to just...listen,” she said. The wind through the trees seemed to agree with her, and the two turned to finish their walk down the trail in silence. But between two wolves, two souls so similar, silence was never a true thing. 

[xxbyimm]

Enya’s unexpected journey - Chapter 24

For other chapters of this Journey: Enya’s unexpected journey. Or check out my Masterlist!

To be honest, the task of portraying Thorin's dragon sickness felt daunting. My initial plan was to do one chapter before moving to the rest of the story, but I felt I wouldn't do him justice if I rushed this part too much, so I’ll do two parts on this instead. Thank you @fizzyxcustard​ for advising me, love you! <3

As for now, buckle up bitches! ;D xoxo

Chapter 24

Summary: Smaug is slain and Erebor is safe. Though Enya should rejoice, she can’t help but to feel an uneasiness creeping into her bones. 

Warnings: Heartache. Angst. Swearing. Physical assault.

Taglist: @soradragon​ @pistachiozombie​ @legolaslovely​ @tomisbaeholland​ @swoopswishsward​ @fizzyxcustard​ @deepestfirefun​ @ruthoakenshield​ @mariannetora​ @thequeenoferebor​ If you don’t wish to be tagged in Enya’s adventure, please let me know! Or if you’re not on the list and want to be tagged: check out my lists and I’d like to hear which list you want in on! 

‘I feel this is the beginning The beginning through the end’

‘I think she looks rather pale, what about you brother?’ A soft voice spoke. ‘Yeah.’ The second one agreed. He tried to sound stern, but one could hear the smile in his speech. ‘Honestly, I think she looks dashing. If we’re considering what she has been through.’ ‘You’re right.’ The first answered. ‘I do hope she wakes up soon.’

Enya groaned and then tried to move. Her limbs were heavy and felt restrained, tied up. Now that she mentioned that… She frowned. It did feel a bit uncomfortable. ‘Look! She’s moving!’ Someone cheered. ‘She’s a fighter, huh?!’ ‘Please, do not overcrowd her!’ A higher, more sophisticated voice that belonged to Bilbo Baggins fretted. ‘I doubt that she wants to see all of your ugly faces when she does wake up! The pure shock would send her straight to the dream realm again!’

‘Ugly?! Who did you call ugly?’ Gloín protested. ‘If he calls someone ugly in this room, it has to be you.’ Kíli laughed. Enya recognized the low chuckle of the golden haired son of Durin. ‘Since we’re Thorin’s nephews, Enya couldn’t possibly find us repulsive.’ The youngest prince of Durin added. ‘We can stay.’ ‘No you can’t!’ Oín scolded. ‘You’re awfully mouthy for someone who just has recovered himself. Besides, someone should find our king and tell him miss Blueheart is likely to wake up soon.’

There were some protests and angry muttering as the group of dwarves was shoved towards the door. ‘On that note…’ Bilbo mused. ‘Where is he?’ ‘Who?’ Oín inquired as he closed the door with a loud clank. Behind the wood, the lively chatter continued until it slowly faded away. ‘Thorin.’ The halfling said. ‘I would have expected him to stay at her side, but I haven’t seen him with her since he rushed to her when we brought her through the main gate...’

Thorin… A sharp ache stabbed her in the heart. She didn’t remember anything after her last strike. Smaug had been severely injured, but yet he had charged her with a vigor unlike any other. The thunder storm had found her and she allowed it to rage through her, but… She hadn’t been alone. Four spirits emerged. Four elements… What the hell?! Her eyelids fluttered and she managed to slightly open her eyes. Oín was standing on her right. She couldn’t see the hobbit, but she suspected he was sitting at her other side.

‘I guess he’s busy.’ Oín opted, not aware that his patient was waking up. ‘Or it’s too painful to see her like this.’ He glanced over at the halfling and heaved a sigh. ‘Please don’t look that shocked. Us dwarves aren’t used to show emotions like your kind does.’ ‘But she was badly hurt…’ Bilbo countered. ‘Wouldn’t he want to be there in case she-’ ‘If I would have thought she would die, he would have been right beside her.’ Oín grumbled. ‘Believe me.’

There was a short silence.

‘She’s healing remarkably fast.’ The physician murmured. ‘I’ve seen my fair share of burns, but she’s recovering like she’s got a mere graze. Soon she won’t need the bandages anymore. The only thing I’m worried about is that ugly scratch on her leg.’ ‘That must have to do something with her fire-witch roots, don’t you think?’ Bilbo said. ‘I mean-’ ‘Where the fuck am I?’ Enya muttered.

The halfling shot up and appeared in her view. He let out a relieved cry and grinned from ear to ear. Oín gave her one of his rare smiles and nodded. Her arms were bound in strips of cloth. She was neatly tucked in under a few blankets. Her left leg throbbed. ‘Welcome back, miss Enya.’ ‘Oh Enya, you’re back!’ Bilbo cried out, barely able to keep his excitement. ‘I was so worried about you! I didn’t dare to leave your side!’

Oh, dear Bilbo. Her heart ached again. She couldn’t wish for a better friend. After this whole journey, he had become very important to her.

‘What happened?’ she asked wearily as Oín carefully eased her up into a sitting position. She gritted her teeth when her every cell in her body screamed to leave her be. Well… she might be healing fast but she still felt like she was ran over by a truck. Like, four times. ‘Well…’ the old physician smiled. ‘Young lady, you killed the beast.’ ‘You were amazing.’ The halfling added. ‘You slayed him with a mightiest lightning bolt I’ve ever seen!’ ‘Thank you.’ She grimaced. ‘Wish it didn’t hurt this much though. How’s Bard doing?’ The hobbit and dwarf exchanged looks. ‘We do not know, miss.’ Oín replied. ‘He isn’t here, if that’s what you mean.’ Enya’s brows furrowed together. ‘I do not understand… They need shelter.’ Oín shrugged, but Bilbo looked rather anxious. Enya studied the halfling’s face. Something was up, but he didn’t want to share it in the presence of one of Thorin’s subjects.

‘Oín…’ she began while giving him her most charming smile. ‘Could you make me one of your tinctures that relieve pain? I could use some.’ The physician nodded shortly. ‘Yes, I could. I would need some strong liquor for that though. Let me see if I can find some in the kitchens.’

They watched as the dwarf walked through the door and closed it behind him. ‘Okay. So what’s really going on?!’ she hissed. Bilbo shook his head. ‘Not now, miss. You’re hurt. I’d rather have you focus on getting better first.’ She slumped back against the cushions, feeling exhausted already. ‘Fine, I yield. For now. Can you tell me how I killed that old fire-drake instead? My mind is kind of hazy from the moment I guided the lightning.’

Bilbo sat down on the stool beside her bed and began. After the thunderstorm had struck Enya, four identical figures had appeared by her side. At first, the halfling did not believe his own eyes and thought that he was hallucinating. But his vision had been clear as day. On each side of Enya two females stood proudly, looking exactly like the version in the middle. The only difference that the halfling did see, was the element each of them radiated. While the real Enya was surrounded by lightning, the other ones seemed to represent one of the four elements. Water and earth were standing on her left side, fire and air by her right. The elemental Enya’s raised their hands and mimicked their mistress’ pose. And with that, the bolt divided amongst them, thus protecting the real Enya Blueheart from the full blow.

Smaug had been badly injured, but still he seared majestically towards her. It must have been all the endorphins surging through his enormous body that gave him the strength for one last strike. Nevertheless, it only had taken a minute to finish him off when the lightning bolt hit him. Bilbo swallowed hard before telling her that the dragon’s final howl had been terrible and made the whole mountain shake on its’ foundation. Smaug himself was shuddering uncontrollably, his eyes rolling in their sockets as the electricity demolished everything in its’ way. Then, as it was nothing, the great beast fell from the sky. His body crashed on the ice. The latter gave in under al that weight, the water of the lake swallowing the fire-drake whole and pulling it towards the bottom.

As to the great fire-witch who was responsible for this death: her elemental counterparts had disappeared and miss Enya Blueheart collapsed down on the frozen lake. She did not stand up, nor did she revive when her comrades came to her aid and because Thorin wasn’t with them, Dwalin pulled her into his arms instead. The company took her to the infirmary, or that is, any place with a bed. Oín, Bofur, Fíli and Kíli had joined them hours later.

Though the corpse had sunk to the bottom of the lake, it still reeked outside of burned dragon flesh. The stench was so nauseating that everyone refused to go outside. The people of Laketown hadn’t showed up to the gates of Erebor yet, but Bilbo suspected that moment could come anytime now. There was no shelter but the lonely mountain- and these people were cold and starving.

‘Is Thorin already taking precautions for when they’ll arrive?’ Enya asked. ‘Surely we can house them all, but we have to get ready anyway…’ Bilbo shook his head and watched her face carefully, like he tried to fathom her thoughts. ‘I don’t think he will, miss.’ He shifted awkwardly on his stool. ‘He’s not…’ A dull ache spread through her spine and Enya’s mouth went dry. ‘Oh, please tell me.’ She assured her friend. ‘I know something is bothering you.’ ‘He’s not himself.’ The halfling whispered. ‘I can’t put my finger on it, but he seems different… More distant than the Thorin we know.’ ‘In what way?’ ‘I don’t know.’ Bilbo confessed. ‘We lose track of him all the time. He says our focus lies on finding the Arkenstone, so he makes us search every nook and cranny of this damned treasure room, which also reeks of dragon. When he’s not supervising our efforts, he’s wandering off to god knows where-’

The door was smashed open and they both shot up, startled. Enya winced and eased herself back into the soft pillows.

Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror was standing in the doorway. He had switched his usual attire to something more formal and majestic. The tunic had a deep blue color that complemented his eyes. Over that he wore a frock coat in a slightly darker shade. A black cloak adorned with fur in the same, dark shade hung around his shoulders. Heavy boots with steel toes and dark breeches perfected his attire. Though Thorin must have found it lying around in the mountain somewhere, everything looked like it was made just yesterday. Enya admired the golden threads that were applied in the hem of his shirt. If anything had felt ordinary about him at all, that now was gone. He looked absolutely breathtaking. ‘Love.’ The king breathed while eyeing her with a relieved expression. ‘You’re awake.’

Despite everything Enya had just heard, her heart skipped a beat and she felt a pleasant warmth spreading through her. Oh Thorin Oakenshield… He might not have been there to carry her into safety or when she woke up, but he must have come immediately after hearing the news from the others. That at least sounded like him.

‘I’ll leave you two.’ Bilbo said quickly and he jumped on his feet. He gave Thorin a respectful nod and slipped behind him through the doorway. The latter one raised a brow, but then decided to let it pass and he closed the door. ‘He’s been acting strange lately.’ He murmured at himself while taking a seat on the edge of Enya’s bed. ‘What were you talking about earlier?’ he then inquired matter-of-factly without making eye contact. Enya observed him and as she did so, a smile crept across her face. He was looking so majestic, that his presence felt a bit weird. The room, which was only filled with a wooden bed, a table, four chairs and a stool, was too simple for him. He belonged on his throne in the throne room down below, not in a hastily set up infirmary. Enya blinked slowly. But yet he was here.

‘Nothing too special, I guess.’ Enya finally murmured, her eyes falling shut. ‘Bilbo filled me in on my latest escapades.’ ‘You don’t remember?’ She shook her head. ‘Nothing after I got hold of the lightning bolt, no.’ Thorin’s hand found hers, his rough thumb caressing the bandage above her knuckles. It still was amazing to her how such thick fingers managed to handle stuff so carefully and gently at the same time. Something inside her stirred. ‘You were truly magnificent.’ Thorin confided in her. ‘I regret not trusting you earlier. You have proven to me you’re perfectly capable of handling dangerous foes on your own.’ Enya smirked. ‘I know you hate to hear this, but… I told you so.’ The king chuckled lowly. ‘I’ve never seen so much power and strength combined in someone, I’m impressed. Do you know how-’ he hesitated. ‘How I made the other Enya’s?’ she filled in.

There was a short silence. Enya opened her eyes. He was still sitting the same position, his sapphire orbs watching her intently. The strokes had stopped, though he was still holding her. She licked her lips. Never had she thought to see this day, where Thorin stop-being-so-rash-Enya Oakenshield did finally yield. Her stomach churned uncomfortably. She’d imagined to feel more satisfied than… unsettled, really.

‘I don’t.’ she then continued. ‘And I do not believe I called upon them at all. I think they knew what to do before I did.’ ‘It doesn’t matter.’ The king smiled encouragingly. ‘I can see you’re tired. You should get some sleep. Maybe it all comes back to you after a long rest.’ ‘But I’ve just woken up…’ she protested weakly, but she knew he was right. Her eyes were getting heavier with every moment. Though frustrating, it seemed she had to return to the world of imagination rather quickly. ‘You’re healing faster than we all thought you would.’ Thorin told her and she heard a layer of excitement in his low tone. ‘Which means your body needs its’ rest.’ ‘So they said.’ Enya sighed. ‘Then rest, love.’ He purred. She felt the bed move as Thorin stood up. His hand slipped away. So soon? She wanted him to stay while she slept because that made her feel so safe many times before… But he was probably too busy to do so. ‘Will you come back?’ she inquired drowsily. ‘Of course.’ He muttered and a gentle kiss was placed on her forehead. The short contact made her yearn for more, but he was already gone before she could tell him. ‘I always will come back for you.’ The king promised, sounding more far away now. ‘You know that.’

She listened to the sound of the door falling shut again. He was absolutely right. Before, she always had known that he would never leave her. But now… Something was different. A bitter aftertaste lingered in the air, like it tends to after you’ve been drinking too much and wake up the next morning with a solid hangover. The answer was on the tip of her tongue, but in her drowsy state she could not reach it yet. What she did know was that it didn’t matter how much she wanted to believe him that he still cared for her, like before.

She just couldn’t.

Enya recovered rather quickly, to much pleasure of her physician and the others. Oín was baffled by the fast pace in which her burned skin had healed. The only thing that remained was a Lichtenberg figure on her lower right arm- at least that was what they called such things on earth. A fiery red line started on her wrist and stretched up like a branch to her elbow. Though a part of her mourned for the loss of her untainted skin, she figured she earned her stripes and should wear them with pride. If it would bother her that much, she could always just cover it up.

The other thing that hadn’t healed as quickly, was the wound in her leg. Although Enya had ensured to Oín that she was fine (really!) and it didn’t hurt that much anyway, in reality it still seared with every move she made. Nevertheless, stubborn miss Enya Blueheart had enough of wasting away her time in bed, when there were far much more important things to do.

She had been wandering through one of the many corridors of Erebor for hours, unsure if getting lost in this labyrinth of passages was really an useful investment of her time. Her real goal had been to get to know at least one part of her new home, but all she really did was getting more lost by the minute. When she discovered yet another dead end, Enya sighed and crouched down on the ground. The wound in her leg was throbbing painfully and she wouldn’t be surprised if it had started to draw blood again. She didn’t dare to take a look. A faint smile crossed her face when she thought of the many times little Thorin must have gotten lost in here. Her own sense of direction was failing miserably, so she couldn’t imagine how someone with zilch skills in orientation would get by… A soft giggle escaped her.

‘Enya!’ Somewhere in the distance, Thorin’s low, distinguished tone resounded. She bit her lip to stay quiet. ‘Well my my…’ her mind mused. ‘Will this be the first day he’s actually able to FIND something?!’ ‘Yeah?’ she then called. ‘Mahal, I thought I’d never find you.’ she heard him mutter as his footsteps were nearing the place she sat.

Clapping her hands before her mouth, Enya choked back laughter. If Mahal was at it anyway, he could help her retaining a straight face….

‘Wat do you think you’re doing?’ Thorin informed sternly when he got her in sight. Oín told me you discharged yourself this morning.’ ‘I went exploring.’ She told him. ‘Needed a change of scenery.’ The king chuckled and crouched down next to her. ‘I fear I can’t agree that this particular corridor is more appealing than the view from your bed…’ ‘Oh, do not fret! I wasn’t planning on staying here.’ she replied. ‘I just needed a little break.’

His hand moved to her breeches and a sharp sting shot through her leg. Enya flinched. Even in this dimly lit corridor she knew he could see that the fabric near the wound indeed was drenched in blood.

‘Enya.’ Thorin growled. ‘You’ve been putting too much pressure on that wound for the last few hours.’ ‘Did not!’ she hissed. ‘I can look after myself. Don’t you have more useful stuff to do?’ He huffed. ‘Making sure the queen understands her duties is one of my top priorities.’ he told her before reaching out and lifting her into his arms with ease. ‘My duties?’ Enya protested. ‘Put me down! I can walk!’ ‘No, you’re not walking anywhere anymore until that wound on your leg has properly healed.’ The king insisted as he took her in what she assumed was the direction of the infirmary again. ‘Injuries like this need time and a vast amount of patience from the injured. And by that I mean it’s your duty to rest and heal.’ ‘I don’t have time for this!’ She complained, but she threw her arms around his neck anyway. ‘We have to prepare for the people of Laketown! We-’ ‘That’s none of your concern right now.’ Thorin interrupted. ‘May I remind you that you killed Smaug only yesterday?’ ‘Yeah and a whole town of people is coming this way.’ Enya snapped. ‘They need help.’ ‘I’ll deal with that.’ He grumbled. ‘You already contributed enough by killing Smaug.’ ‘But it’s also my responsibility-’ ‘Enough!’ Thorin rebuked. His grip on her tightened, his hand clasping her left thigh firmly. ‘T-Thorin.’ She whined. Her fingers dug into his neck, squeezing with equal force. ‘What!’ he barked, glaring through her. ‘You’re hurting me.’ She hissed through clenched teeth. His expression changed. The harshness from earlier disappeared and made room for a certain softness in his eyes she was more acquainted with. His mouth twisted slightly. ‘Forgive me. I did not mean to.’ He murmured. ‘I just meant to say you’ll encounter plenty of opportunities to prove your worth, but this will not be today. Today you will rest.’ ‘Prove my worth?!’ The words prickled on her tongue, leaving a bad aftertaste. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?!’ ‘Figure of speech.’ The king muttered. ‘Do not pick apart every word.’ ‘I kind of have to, when you keep speaking in riddles.’ She replied.

They already were at the infirmary’s door again. Wait what? Enya turned her head and watched the direction they came from. How the hell she could have missed that? Thorin seemed to understand her thoughts, as he heaved a sigh before he carefully put her on her feet.

‘This place is a maze.’ He informed her. ‘Next time, I might not be able to find you as fast as I did now.’ ‘So you think there will be a next time, huh?’ she said with a smirk, carelessly leaning against the doorpost. She flinched when her leg protested in the form of a sharp sting. Thorin watched her with narrowed eyes. ‘Somehow I can’t shake this feeling that it doesn’t matter how many times I bring you back there…’ he mused. ‘You will slip out the moment I turn anyway.’ Enya shrugged, knowing that she’d probably would sleep for a few hours first before doing that. ‘What would you like to hear, my king?’ ‘The truth.’ ���Fine.’ She gave in. ‘Then, yes. I probably will.’ ‘What do I have to do to get you to listen to me?’ he grumbled. ‘I’ve heard you’re a great diplomat.’ She suggested with a wink. ‘You can work it out.’ A trace of a smile appeared on his face. ‘Are you flirting with me?’ ‘I’m always flirting with you.’ She purred. ‘Can’t seem to help it, I suppose.’ Thorin gently tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Then his fingers followed the soft curve of her jaw, the featherlight touch causing goosebumps all over her body. She briefly wondered how on earth he always was capable of making her feel this way, but then the thought evaporated as he leaned in and kissed her.

Though it was nothing like the long, heated making out sessions they were quite familiar with, this kiss surely did what it had to. Enya lost track of all other senses but one. She moaned when Thorin suddenly, too soon, pulled away. Sapphire burned into pale blue. Dear mahal, would she ever not be a panting mess of female hormones? She exhaled shakily. ‘Try to sleep.’ He finally spoke. ‘I’ll be back in a few hours.’ ‘Sure.’ She murmured while watching her One striding away. ‘I can try…’

After a good deal of tossing, turning and being fussed over by a particular judgmental physician, Enya managed to get some of the advised sleep. When she finally woke up, her leg wasn’t as painful as it felt a few hours ago (yay for heavy pain medication!), but Thorin still wasn’t there. She knew he’d always kept his promises, so she waited.

Patiently, at first. But after she had checked her appearance for the zillionth time, and tried to convince herself that he’d never seen her wearing eye makeup so it didn’t really matter if she thought her face looked bleak… She was fed up with the nervous tingles in her stomach. For God sakes! It wasn’t like she was going on a date with this dwarf, nor was she an helpless lady who needed to wait for her chaperone. If her fiancé had forgotten about their agreement already, then she’d…

‘Fiancé…’ she murmured to herself. ‘That does sound ridiculous, doesn’t it. I mean, I’m only… twenty-four- I mean fucking eighty-nine.’ Eighty-nine… that was still young, right.

Right?!

Enya heaved a sigh and gave herself a last look in the hand mirror Bilbo had fetched for her. She still missed her cat-eye look, but other than that she was doing fairly okay. She put the mirror on her bed and made for the door. If Thorin wasn’t coming for her, she might as well find her other favorite lads and see how they were doing. Besides, she still had not seen the enormous pile of gold and gems in Smaug’s former hoard.

Just when she grabbed the door handle, the wooden surface was pushed in her direction. ‘Fucking hell!’ she cried out while jumping backwards. The wound in her leg protested and Enya winced. Thorin was standing in the door opening, and he looked rather amused. ‘What are you up to?’ he inquired. ‘I thought I said I was coming back.’ ‘Yeah well, you’re late.’ She accused him as she gently rubbed her leg. The king merely lift a brow. ‘Did we discuss a time?’ Enya huffed. ‘Not precisely, though I’m open to debate the true meaning of the concept you stated as “a few hours”.’ ‘Just like I said.’ He answered. ‘A few hours.’ ‘Two, four, a hundred… What is time to a king anyway, eh?’ she jested. ‘Is that a new habit of yours, to keep the ladies waiting?’ Thorin smirked. ‘One of the kingly duties, I’m afraid.’ ‘You’re an ass.’ She muttered under her breath. Thorin gently pulled her into his embrace. ‘That’s no way to speak to a king…’ ‘Accept my sincerest apologies, then.’ She replied with the straightest face she could manage. ‘I did not mean to offend your highness.’ ‘Somehow I do not believe that…’ he said. ‘But no matter. Do you want to see something worthwhile?’ Enya watched him. His sapphire eyes were twinkling with joy and a boyish grin appeared. Good gracious, now she knew where Fíli and Kíli got that charm from. How was she supposed to decline when he looked at her like that?

‘Sure…’ she began, but then shrieked as he swept her from the ground and into his arms. ‘Seriously Thorin… this again?’ ‘I told you. No walking.’ He insisted. ‘Now, grab a hold of me.’ She laughed and obliged. ‘So you’re going to carry me around the mountain like a sack of potatoes?’ ‘That’s a rather unflattering comparison.’ Thorin said. ‘I’d say you look nothing like a potato.’ ‘Oh my king, you flatter me!’ she chirped. ‘Is that a compliment?!’ ‘Though potatoes are rather tasty…’ he remarked. ‘Ah, there it is!’ Enya exclaimed. ‘So on a scale of potato to fire-witch, how tasty am I?’ Thorin pondered for a while and then shrugged. ‘That depends on my mood.’ ‘You’re unbelievable.’ She sniggered. ‘It shouldn’t even be a-’ Her words got lost as he kissed her fondly. ‘I wish I had the time to show you all the secrets I discovered when I grew up here...’ Thorin whispered against her lips. ‘You mean like the hidden passage in Thraín’s library?’ Enya informed sweetly. She still hadn’t forgotten how he tried to lock her up in it. ‘I think I will pass.’ The king chuckled. ‘That wouldn’t be a surprise anymore, would it? No, since we only can do some of the highlights, we surely won’t visit my father’s library…’

Their first stop was the treasure room, former home of Smaug. Though the lair still reeked of dragon, if you’d breath through your mouth, the sight was magnificent. The vast hall was filled with an ocean of golden coins, gems and other valuables objects. ‘Oh!’ Enya gasped as she took in the immensity of the wealth beneath her, not knowing where to look. Dozens of torches were placed through the hall. The treasure glittered in the soft, yellow light. Mahal, the beauty! She wasn’t the first of her race to admire the exquisiteness of the treasure of Erebor and she surely wouldn’t be the last…

Thorin had let her down on one of the lower balconies, the one before the last flight of stairs. Still, she was way too high above the ground for her liking. She suppressed a shudder and took a step back, leaning against her One. There, for a moment in his arms, she felt home.

‘Isn’t this worth all the trouble we went through?’ he inquired softly in her ear. An hint of excitement in his tone betrayed how pleased he was. Enya glanced behind her. Thorin Oakenshield stood proudly, watching his treasure with a content expression of a dwarf who has reached his one of his most desired goals. Just like the gold before them, the flames glistered in his eyes. He looked more majestic than ever in his heavy mantle. Her heart fluttered.

‘I believe it is.’ She concluded, leaning backwards to place a kiss on his cheek. ‘Please don’t mind me asking… but what should we do with it?’ ‘Protect it, of course.’ The king replied shortly. ‘We came from too far to just let go of it again.’ She stepped away and studied his sharp profile. Something in the back of her mind prickled. ‘Protect against whom?’ ‘You know who.’ Thorin growled. ‘That’s why I gave Dwalin and a few others the task of fortifying the main entrance again. We don’t need unwanted visitors.’ ‘You mean the people of Laketown?’ she guessed. ‘Amongst others.’ Enya heaved a weary sigh. ‘Thorin, that’s not fair. They are not-’ ‘Will you be quiet-’ he said with gritted teeth. ‘-THE ENEMY-’ ‘-I SAID QUIET!’ Thorin raged. Enya put her hands on her hips and braced herself. ‘I will not remain silent if you’re going to be this unjust!’ ‘Hush!’ The king barked. ‘You know what is unfair? When a dragon takes away your home, burning everyone and everything you’ve ever known in the process! YOU KNOW WHAT’S UNJUST? ROAMING THESE LANDS, SEARCHING FOR A WAY TO SURVIVE!’ ‘Precisely my point!’ She snarled. ‘Don’t let others suffer the fate our kin was forced to. Tell me, what’s the difference between Smaug destroying Erebor compared to Laketown?’

Thorin closed and opened his eyes. His breathing was ragged, his hands balled into fists. He muttered something under his breath, but Enya couldn’t make out the words. ‘What’s that?’ she asked. ‘Do tell me.’ ‘I SAID’ he hissed. ‘That they had it coming.’

She wanted to make a sharp remark about others who should have seen their fate coming, but she knew that was below the belt. He wouldn’t forgive her if she said it. Not even for the sake of making a point. So instead she drew in a long breath and bit on her tongue. Thorin watched her, his eyes glittering with anger. ‘Where does your loyalty lie?’ he seemed to ask wordlessly.

‘As much as that may be true...’ She finally managed to say. ‘We brought it on them.’ Thorin brushed with his hands as if he was shooing an unpleasant insect. ‘That dragon would have awoken anyway.’

She watched as he paced back and forth on the balcony. ‘But all of that won’t matter unless we find the Arkenstone.’ He muttered while gesturing vaguely in a random direction. ‘There has to be a faster way to sort through our gold…’ ‘So, we know for certain…’ she treaded carefully. ‘that this is the place where it was last seen?’ The king nodded shortly. ‘According to my calculations, it still should be here… somewhere. I don’t suspect that vile beast would’ve moved it.’ ‘That seems fair.’ She agreed. ‘I don’t think Smaug ever dreamt of having to hide it anyway.’

She looked down and eyed the treasure once more. Her legs shook slightly. ‘I don’t think there’s a fast way to find this jewel… It could be anywhere.’ Thorin took a step forward and eyed the pile directly below them. ‘We have to search…’ he murmured. ‘But that will take weeks, if not months…’ ‘Do not stand near the edge.’ Enya said nervously as she tried to control her trembling limbs. ‘You have the powers of the wind.’ Thorin told her with a shrug. ‘Even if you would fall, your instincts would save you. I saw it with my own eyes. There’s nothing to be afraid of.’ ‘Easier said than done.’ She said unhappily. ‘Even fighting a-’ ‘Wind!’ The king suddenly cheered. ‘Of course! Why didn’t I think of that?’ ‘Sorry, what?!’ Enya faltered.

Thorin lunged forward and swept her from her feet. ‘You!’ he beamed. ‘You, my beautiful queen, are the solution to everything!’ ‘Everything?!’ she repeated. ‘Er- That’s a bit… too much credit isn’t it?!’ ‘Do you think you could do it?’ he said, breathlessly. He was gazing at her, beaming with joy and the biggest smile she’d ever seen on his face. She stared back, completely dumbfounded.

Hello, mister mood swings. Excuse me if I don’t follow…

‘Eh- I could try…’ she gulped. ‘I mean, I guess. Can’t promise-’ He rewarded her with a kiss that took her breath away. ‘So that’s settled then.’ He whispered against her lips. ‘When you’ve healed enough, you will find the Arkenstone for me…’

‘Mahal, Thorin! No!’

Her laugh vibrated through the room. The last stop of Thorin’s tour of highlights turned out to be the royal quarters. His outburst from earlier seemed to be long forgotten, because the king was beaming as he showed her the places in which the majority of his childhood had taken place. The walk in closet in his sister Dís’ bedroom was magnificent and Enya could not stop gawking at all the rows of beautiful dresses that still hung there on the racks. Only a layer of dust betrayed that the owner hadn’t worn them for a long time. Most of them, as Thorin informed her, turned out to be new.

Somehow the king also convinced her to try something on. She had protested at first (‘these are not mine, they probably won’t fit anyway’), but once Thorin had given her the famous puppy eyed look that Kíli obviously learned from his uncle, she obliged.

‘Oh come on.’ The king encouraged her. He was occupying the bed and waited impatiently for his One to show up. ‘Let me see.’ ‘Promise you won’t laugh.’ Enya begged. ‘Why would I possibly do that?’ She snorted. ‘Because I look absolutely ridiculous!’ ‘That’s not possible.’ ‘Oh no?’

Enya took a deep breath and twirled around the corner. She had chosen a pink, lacy dress that had looked pretty on the hanger, but on her body… The neckline was too high for her liking and was adorned with a huge, pinkish ribbon. Ruffles decorated her shoulders and parts of the skirt. Tiny ribbons were sewn all over the fabric, making the overall result a little bit… too much. ‘Well?’ she winked while planting her hands on her hips. ‘What do you think?!’ Thorin bit on his lip, but the corners of his mouth already curved into an ominous grin. ‘It’s-’

‘Don’t you dare Oakenshield!’ She warned, but it was already too late. Thorin threw his head back and burst into laughter. Enya watched as the sensations consumed him whole. It was a deep, rumbling sound that eased the tightness in her chest and she couldn’t help but smile helplessly like a total idiot.

But still… he had made a promise…

‘You promised not to make fun of me!’ she shrieked and she jumped on the bed, toppling over her One. A sharp jolt of pain surged through her leg, but she ignored it. ‘Forgive me…’ he panted between two fits. ‘I told you!’ she giggled, placing a hand on each side of his head. ‘This thing is too extra! Look at all that lace!’ ‘Uzfakuh…’ he grinned. ‘You are truly suffocating me with all that fabric. You should try another one.’ ‘And be your main source of entertainment again?!’ she mused. ‘Not before you apologize. Or… choke to death. Your choice.’ ‘The fact that the dress is a monstrosity has nothing to do with you, my queen.’ Thorin told her with a fond smile, while his hands grazed her bum. ‘You are always breathtaking.’ ‘Now, now.’ She muttered. ‘Look who’s being king charming in the flesh.’ ‘A king charming?’ he replied with a grin. ‘Technically in the fairytale he was a prince.’ She told him. ‘But you’re no prince, so…’

Her left leg throbbed. A soft hiss escaped her and Enya rolled off her king, to her right side. Thorin narrowed his eyes, but said nothing. Instead, he wrapped his arms around her and placed a sweet kiss on her lips. Enya heaved a sigh and melted in his embrace.

She must have dozed off, because once she woke up again it was already getting dark. Enya woke with a shiver and soon discovered why. Thorin had disappeared. She pushed herself in an upright position and glanced through the room.

Where did he slip off to?

With a groan she got up and fiddled with the laces of the dress. Of course she should look for him, but not in this ridiculous thing. She walked into Dís’ closet and scanned the racks. Thorin had been clear that he did not like the rags (as he called it) Bard had sent her off in and her favorite pair of skinny jeans was either turned to ashes or at the bottom of the lake, so as a future queen she’d better find something more suitable. She dropped the heavy, pink fabric on the floor and went through the options. Most dresses were too chic for everyday wear, but in the back she found a simple, midnight blue dress with long, loose sleeves. A cord adorned with golden thread was tied around the waist. It was almost too Elvish to be a part of the royal wardrobe of the princess of Erebor, but Enya liked it. She carefully took it from its’ place, patted the dust away and put it on.

She whirled around and gasped when she suddenly saw Thorin leaning in the doorway. ‘Mahal!’ she cried out. ‘Where have you been?’ ‘You’d think I would let my fire-witch all alone out there?’ He replied with a faint smile. ‘After what happened yesterday?’ She shrugged. ‘That doesn’t answer my question.’ ‘I had to verify a thought.’ He gave in. ‘To be sure.’ ‘Care to tell me what it was?’ ‘A place where the Arkenstone might have slid into.’ Thorin obliged with a slightly tensed undertone in his voice. ‘You were sleeping anyway, so I didn’t think you would mind.’ She figured he did not find it, otherwise he would have been far more excited. ‘Nothing?’ He shook his head. ‘No.’ ‘It has to be somewhere in that huge pile of gold.’ Enya mused. ‘Or that ugly beast has swallowed it whole. I think I saw his belly radiate this strange, blue light when I killed him.’ In a split second, his face went from blank to horrified. Thorin surged forward and grabbed her shoulders. His fingers dug in her bones. ‘WHAT?!’ he roared. ‘YOU BETTER NOT TELL ME THAT YOU LET THAT VILE FIRE-DRAKE SINK DOWN THE LAKE WITH THE ARKENSTONE!’ ‘I was kidding, Thorin! A joke!’ She swore. ‘Stop that! You’re hurting me!’ ‘Oh.’ He said stiffly and his hands fell to his sides again. Then he took a step back. There was hurt clearly displayed his eyes. Enya sighed. ‘I’m sorry. I was just-’ ‘No matter.’ He said and he turned on his heels before pacing into the bedroom again. ‘I don’t expect you to understand what it means to me.’

Ouch. All she had wanted was to lighten the mood, but it was clear she had struck a vein instead. Enya followed him pulled him into her arms. Though he did allow the move, he didn’t embrace her back like he usually did. Her heart ached. ‘Maybe I don’t fully understand, no.’ she whispered against his chest. ‘But I meant no harm.’ ‘I know that.’ Thorin grumbled, but his jaw was set and a vein in his temple throbbed.

Did he?!

Enya kissed him on his unrelenting jaw. ‘You know.’ She began softly. ‘We’re in this together. I don’t want to you carry all the responsibility of this kingdom on your own, but then I need you to let me in.’ ‘I have told you already that this task isn’t yours to bear.’ Thorin insisted. ‘You’ve honored your part of the bargain and killed the dragon. Now I need you to rest up.’ ‘I’m doing that right now, am I not?’ ‘Barely.’ The king reiterated. ‘You’re running off to Mahal knows where every time I turn my back! I have far more important stuff to do than making sure you’re where you’re supposed to!’ ‘I know, forgive me.’ Thorin glared at her. ‘I need to forgive you a lot.’ She smiled innocently. ‘I just want to make myself useful. And lying in bed all day waiting for my leg to heal properly, doesn’t count.’ ‘You could try to search through the treasure room.’ He opted. ‘If that isn’t too tedious for you.’ ‘Of course I can do that!’ she shot back. ‘But you said that I-’ ‘No.’ he interrupted her. ‘You and opinionated self have proved to be healthy enough to roam through Erebor, so I think you can manage this unimportant task.’ ‘For God sakes’, Thorin!’ she cried out while letting him go. ‘I said I was sorry! And you’re the one who dragged me through Erebor today!’ ‘My mistake.’ He hissed. ‘I didn’t mean to bore you with my childhood background.’

Enya swallowed hard. He was standing proudly before her, arms crossed and a terrifying scowl displayed on his face. His sapphire eyes were cold and harsh. She didn’t know what had caused him to switch, but now everything that came out of her mouth seemed to set him off. She probably should tread with care, but she wanted answers. And if he was mad at her already, well… She cleared her throat.

‘I know the Arkenstone is the only thing that will give you the right to rule over all the dwarf clans, but why do we need that right now?’ ‘Why?’ he mocked and shook his head. ‘Clearly you know nothing of warfare.’ ‘Well it wasn’t a subject I got tutored in school, no.’ She shot back. ‘So enlighten me, please.’ ‘Are you really that arrogant to think that other’s aren’t eyeing the lonely mountain?’ he spat. ‘Once the word spread that Smaug’s dead, they will flock Erebor like vultures!’ ‘Only more reason to give the people of-’ ‘SHUT UP!’ ‘-PEOPLE OF LAKETOWN REFUGE BECAUSE-’ ‘-I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP ABOUT THE PEOPLE OF THAT ACCURSED TOWN!’ he boomed. ‘How can I shut up about numerous starving humans, Thorin?’ she seethed. ‘How am I supposed to do that?’ ‘If you’re attached to them and that bowman so much, maybe you should join them.’ Thorin rebuked. ‘We will not let that filth into our home.’ ‘Filth?!’ she repeated. ‘That filth you speak of was kind enough to grant you passage over the lake and take you into hís home!’ ‘Only after demanding all of our money.’ Thorin growled. ‘He left us with no choice. There’s no honor in that.’ ‘And how about upholding your own?’ Enya sassed. ‘You gave them your word!’

There was a short silence. Thorin’s eyes now flashed with anger and Enya had to resist the urge to look away. Though he wasn’t much taller than her, his demeanor was frightening. It seemed like he towered over her, his scowl sending her in the deepest pit of shame.

They had fought many times, but she had never feared him before, for the simple reason that she knew he cared for her. It never had been his goal to hurt her -or worse- humiliate her. But now she didn’t know what he wanted. As Thorin, son of Thraín, son of Thrór, stood before her in all his might, she instinctively knew that he would do anything to keep his beloved mountain and the treasure in it to himself. He would hurt anyone who dared to get in his way. Even his queen.

For dwarves covet gold more than anything… It’s a fierce love… And theirs would not be enough…

‘Are you against me, Enya?!’ he finally hissed. ‘What kind of question is that?!’ she retorted. ‘Why would I be?’ ‘Because you refuse to see it my way.’ ‘I refuse to see anyone’s way if they stuck their head in the sand, thank you very much!’ she bit back. ‘If it’s true what we should fear incoming armies from others, then we have all the more reason to protect the people that have nothing to do with it!’ ‘And having them prance through the halls of my forefathers?’ Thorin scoffed. ‘Despicable.’ She gritted her teeth. ‘I don’t think they’re in any shape to prance.’ ‘Do not mock me, miss Blueheart.’ ‘I merely try to help you!’ she swore, throwing her hands in the air in frustration. ‘Help?!’ Thorin taunted. ‘You really think I would need help from you, you insolent girl?!’

Enya gasped for air and took a step back. Before, he’d only called her names when he reached the outmost borders of his patience, mostly followed by a passionate kiss. He never meant what he said, at least not really. But this… This was heartfelt and downright vicious.

‘That’s what you think of me?’ she breathed, but Thorin ignored her. ‘I did not need your help when I lead my kin to victory at the battle of Azalnulbizar, after I lost not only my grandfather, but also my brother.’ He said hotly. ‘I did not need YOUR HELP when I built a new life for them in the blue mountains. And I SURELY DID NOT NEED YOU ON THIS QUEST!’ ‘Thorin, that’s enough. Stop it.’ She whimpered. ‘I beg you.’ ‘No.’ he snapped. ‘I have warned you many times before. You are being disrespectful and it’s time you learn.’

Cold chills ran down her spine and her throat went dry. Her heart hammered in her chest and she swallowed hard. This wasn’t good. At all. ‘Learn what?’ she inquired carefully while taking another step backwards. She didn’t want to admit it just yet, but in the back of her mind she was thinking of safe places to run to.

‘That I am not one to be trifled with.’ The king growled as he watched her backing away from him. ‘You are scaring me.’ She said quietly.

He didn’t seem to hear her, because he already surged forward and pushed her against one of the sturdy bed poles. It creaked violently as it both of their weights crashed into it. The carved wood poked in her back and Enya whined. Thorin seemed to move mechanically. There was no love in his eyes, no tenderness. All she could see was a harsh, lustful glare as he intended to take what was his... His mouth sucked on the soft flesh of her neck before biting hard on her shoulder bone, his hands were clawing in the seams of her skirt, rucking it upwards.

But Enya was in no mood for a session of hot, angry lovemaking. He had intended to hurt her in a truly awful way and though that should be bad enough alone, he still had the audacity to make demands. Didn’t he know that the body isn’t as nearly as willing when the mind is severely occupied? If she was to be his wife, he needed to understand that there were boundaries. And king or not, fear or no fear, Enya could not accept someone behaving like a disrespectful asshole towards her. Thorin was no Jason. And if he turned out to be just like that, she’d rather be alone.

‘No.’ she told him firmly, while pushing him away. ‘Not like this.’ He immediately stumbled backwards. His expression was pained, like she had actually slapped him in the face. ‘You…’ he mumbled. ‘You’re not you! I don’t know who this person is, Thorin.’ She managed to tell him, though tears were straining her eyes and her throat was thick with emotion. ‘But this is not the dwarf I know and whom I love!’

Without waiting for his response, she turned away and broke into a run. Her leg hurt, but it was nothing compared to the ache in her heart. Tears blurred her vision and she had no idea where she was going. She dashed through stairs, hallways and rooms without noticing. She ran until she was out of breath. She ran until the pain in her leg became unbearable. Only then did she allow herself to stop long enough to lift her skirt and view the damage she had done. The wound had torn open again and thick blood gushed through the slash.

Desperately, Enya crashed down the floor and wept.

‘Miss Enya.’ A voice whispered near her ear. ‘Are you awake?’

‘Wha-?’ she murmured.

‘Miss Enya!’ the voice insisted and at the same time two hands groped her shoulders and shook her awake. ‘It’s me!’

With a shriek she shot up, knocking over something that gave a soft cry in the process. A thud followed. Her flames filled the palms of her hands and drowsily she looked around, but nothing was there.

Huh. This was strange. She remembered being absolutely exhausted from all the running and crying, and passing out somewhere in Erebor. But it seemed that she was back in the infirmary after all, safely tucked under the covers. She shifted on the soft mattress. Really, she had to stop this ridiculous habit of waking up in places and forgetting how she had ended up there. Or stop the person who dared to move her around.

A fleeting memory brushed past her consciousness. Sturdy arms, picking her up and enveloping her against a hardened chest. Soft mumbling, a kiss against her temple. The covers rushing as she was gently being tucked into bed. Lips against her cheek, a calloused hand caressing her hair. A whisper. ‘Forgive me...’

Thorin…?

‘Who’s there? What time is it?’ she groaned. ‘I swear to Mahal, if that’s you Thorin, you’d better have a long apology prepared or there’s the door.’

‘It’s me!’ Bilbo Baggins revealed. ‘Where the fuck are you?’ ‘Next to your bed.’ The halfling replied unhappily. ‘You knocked me over.’ ‘Oh shit, I’m so sorry!’ Enya whispered and she peered over the edge of the bedframe. The hobbit was lying on the wooden floor and he smiled encouragingly at her. ‘Oh fuck! I didn’t mean to hurt you!’ Enya apologized. ‘Doesn’t matter, no harm’s done.’ Bilbo hushed. ‘I was the one scaring you anyway, so I should’ve seen that one coming.’

He crawled up and took a seat next to her on the bed. Enya did bend forward and gave her friend a hug before making room for him to sit more comfortably. The fact that the halfling did not object against a cuddle from his favorite fire-witch like he usually did, told her he was in great distress. ‘Oh Bilbo…’ she murmured. ‘You’re sure you’re okay?’ ‘Fine, fine.’ He said. ‘I’ll manage. How are you?’ ‘My leg is still hurting, but that isn’t strange considered I ran through Erebor today for God knows how long.’ She answered while she stretched her legs. The wound throbbed. ‘Where did you find me?’ ‘In here, in your bed.’ Bilbo said. ‘No one has seen you after you and Thorin went upstairs to the royal quarters. What happened?’

Enya’s mind traveled back towards the events that happened earlier today. Tears prickled behind her eyes and she swallowed hard. ‘Thorin and I…’ she began. ‘One moment we were so happy, flirting and laughing… and then the next…’ ‘He changes.’ The halfling whispered. She nodded vigorously. ‘Yes. There’s this switch and I don’t know what causes him to flip it, but…’ she suppressed a shiver. ‘He changes into this vicious person I don’t know. I mean…’ she sniffled. ‘I know we quarrel sometimes-’ Bilbo let out a disbelieving snort. ‘Okay a lot- but before I always knew that he cared for me and he would never harm me in any way. But right now, he scares me! He seems to intend to hurt me in the cruelest way possible, just because I try to help him!’

‘It’s worse than I feared.’ Bilbo mumbled. ‘I’ve been watching him for quite some time now and… I noticed too that things are not well, miss.’ ‘What did you see?’ Enya asked. She knew she didn’t want to hear the answer, but it slowly daunted on her that she had to. It was the disease Thorin had told her about, the one he had feared succumbing to his entire life. It was slowly consuming him, taking over his mind. He wouldn’t be able to resist it on his own…

‘He’s down there all the time.’ The hobbit told her. ‘In the treasure room.’ She winced. ‘Since when?’ ‘It started around the time we brought you back into Erebor.’ The halfling explained. ‘Once he met us at the main entrance had made sure you were going to be alive and well, he was off.’ ‘He said he was busy.’ She mused. ‘I thought he was making plans to defend ourselves against outsiders or even how to rebuild this grand kingdom…’ ‘None of that, I’m afraid.’ Bilbo grumbled. ‘All he does is walking in circles and talking to himself. I can’t make out what he says exactly, but he seems to repeat the words gold and Arkenstone all the time.’ ‘Oh Bilbo…’ she cried. ‘What should we do?’ ‘I don’t know.’ He said as he awkwardly reached out and rubbed her arm. ‘I wish I knew.’

They sat there in silence, both lost in their own thoughts. Enya thought of Thorin, surrounded by treasure and muttering nonsense under his breath. She was losing him. A crippling fear crept around her heart and she found it difficult to breathe. What if she could not save him? What if she failed? She’d never forgive herself that… What was it worth to live after killing Smaug, when she knew that the costs were Thorin’s to pay?

‘I spoke with Balin today.’ Bilbo broke the silence. ‘What?’ Enya whispered absentmindedly. ‘I found him in a rather.. desperate state. In one of the storage rooms.’ The hobbit mumbled as he stared at the wall in opposite of them. ‘We discussed a theory.’ He swallowed hard. ‘You can tell me.’ She told him. ‘What did you two talk about?’ ‘You must promise me that you won’t tell Thorin.’ Bilbo squeaked. ‘Because if he knows, I’m… He’ll…’ ‘You’d think I’d betray my friend?’ she gasped in disbelief. ‘He’s your One, your king.’ The halfling replied. ‘You’re bound to him, even more than any of us.’ ‘I think my duties as future queen are to protect the king even when it’s against himself.’ She vowed. ‘The king is not in his right mind and I know you’ll do as much to save him as I would. You’re one of my dearest friends, Bilbo. I’d never betray you.’ ‘Thank you.’ Her friend said quietly. ‘I knew you’d say that.’ ‘Then why did you ask?’ she smiled faintly. ‘To be sure.’ He confessed. ‘Because I… I have found the Arkenstone.’

‘Excuse me?!’ she gulped. ‘You did what?!’ ‘Ssssh!’ Bilbo hissed while watching the door, though it was silent on the other side. ‘Keep it down!’ ‘Sorry!’ she whispered. ‘I just… WHAT THE HELL BILBO?!’ ‘Let me explain!’ he said feverishly. ‘Right after my almost fatal encounter with Smaug, I managed to get a hold of the Arkenstone. I’ve been carrying it with me since then, but I did not know if I should tell Thorin or not…’ ‘To hell you don’t!’ Enya hissed. ‘That will only trigger him! I joked about knowing its’ whereabouts today and he went crazy!’ Bilbo flinched. ‘That’s what Balin said. I… I asked him theoretically speaking, what would happen if the king’s jewel was found.’ ‘And what did he say?’ ‘He said he feared it would make everything worse.’ Enya licked her lips. ‘I’ve got the same feeling. He must never find that wretched thing.’ ‘So what should we do with it then?!’ The halfling fretted. ‘I can’t keep it forever…’ ‘We’ll figure something out.’ She whispered. ‘Listen, what if we…’

Thank you so much for reading my humble story. Feedback is always welcome.  Next up… more gold sickness... I’m not sure if I can take more... Alas the characters have more heartbreak for us in store.

Did you love Enya? Spread the love and reblog this chapter! :) For the rest of her journey: Enya’s story or check out my Masterlist.

[multi-fandom-imagines8]

Fate

Part 1

Summary: After freeing the slaves in Essos with your mother Daenerys, she sends you to claim the iron throne while she rules in Meereen. That was until you met Jon Snow.

Warnings: some GoT season 7 spoilers.

A/N: Y/n/n= your nickname.

Word Count: 2628.

“What am I doing?” You asked while sitting on the throne in Dragonstone.

“Are you asking me, your grace?” Missandei looked around her to see if you’re talking to someone else.

“Yes and no. Do you believe I made the right choice coming here?”.

“Yes, you’re the only one who can save the seven kingdoms. If you hadn’t agreed, then your mother would’ve had to and then all what you’ve done in Astapor, Yunkai and Meereen would be destroyed and the slavers would’ve come back” she tried to encourage you.

“I know that, but she’s the one who wanted the throne for so long and fought her whole life for it. I could’ve stayed in Meereen. I just don’t know why she wanted me to go instead of her”.

“I believe she wants you to make your own decision and be a ruler of your own”.

“Can I tell you a secret?”.

“Of course, your grace”.

“I never really wanted to rule. A simple life would’ve been enough. Now, I have too many responsibilities and duties to fulfill. Do you think I’ll make a good queen?”.

“You already are a good queen”.

“Thank you”.

—-

“What does your lord expect from me?” You asked a sorceress who goes by the name Melisandre that came to talk to you about the lord of light.

“Bosys bantis amāzis. Meri kīvio dārilaros ōz maghagon kostas” (The long night is coming. Only the prince who was promised can bring the dawn) she prophesied you in High Valyrian.

“The prince who was promised will bring the dawn. I’m afraid I’m not a prince” you replied.

“Your grace, forgive me but your translation is not quite accurate. That noun has no gender in High Valyrian. So the proper translation for that prophecy would be the prince or princess that was promised will bring the dawn” Missandei elaborated.

“Doesn’t really roll off the tongue, does it?” Tyrion remarked.

“No, but I like it better. Do you believe this prophecy refers to me?” You questioned.

“Prophecies are dangerous things. I believe you have a role to play, as does another. The king in the north, Jon Snow” she informed you.

“Jon Snow? Ned Stark’s bastard?”.

You didn’t like the sound of that. You thought you’d only have to get rid of one queen, Cersei. And now she tells you there’s another king in the north.

“You know him?”.

“I traveled with him to the wall when he joined the night’s watch”.

Varys asked her why she believes the prophecy singled him out and she told him about the Wildlings and how he protected them and united them with the northerners. Maybe he’s not so bad after all.

“He sounds like quite a man” you expressed.

“Summon Jon Snow. Let him tell stand before you and tell you the things that’ve happened to him. The things that he’s seen with his own eyes” she suggested.

Tyrion also advised you to summon him and try to make him an Ally. He also informed you that the Lannisters beheaded his father and that he trusted him.

You sent a raven inviting him to Dragonstone to bend the knee.

—-

“You stand in the presence of Y/n Fireborn of the house Targaryen. Rightful heir to the Iron Throne. Rightful queen of the Andals and the First Men. Protector of the seven kingdoms. The sister of dragons. The unburnt. The breaker of chains. Daughter of the Khaleesi of the great grass sea” Missandei introduced and he seemed surprised.

You were never one for titles and great introduction, but this time you needed to be strong in order to take back what’s rightfully yours.

“This is Jon Snow... He’s king in the north” the man next to him introduced.

He sounded like a simple man. You wanted to smile but managed to hide it.

“So, I assume my lord, you’re here to bend the knee”.

“I am not” he answered.

Rude. How dare he.

“No, well that is unfortunate. You’ve traveled all this way to break faith with house Targaryen” you were a bit upset.

“Break faith? Your grandfather burned my grandfather alive. He burned my uncle alive. He would’ve burned the seven kingdoms-“ you interrupted him.

“My grandfather was an evil man. On behalf of house Targaryen I ask your forgiveness for the crimes he committed against your family and I ask you not to judge a granddaughter by the sins of her grandfather” you apologized.

“You’re right. You’re not guilty of your grandfather’s crimes and I’m not beholden to my ancestors vows” he boldly said.

“Then why are you here?” You questioned.

“Because I need your help and you need mine” he answered.

“Did you see three dragons flying overhead when you arrived?”.

“I did”.

“And did you see the Dothraki. All of whom have sworn to kill for me”.

“They’re hard to miss” being sarcastic now, is he?.

“But still I need your help?”.

“Your grace, everyone you know will die before Winter’s over if we don’t defeat the enemy to the north” another threat, not bloody likely.

“As far as I can see, you’re the enemy to the north”.

“I am not your enemy. The dead are the enemy” is he joking?.

“The dead? Is that another figure of speech?” You asked with a serious tone.

“The army of the dead is on the march”.

“The army of the dead?” Tyrion questioned.

“You don’t know me well my lord, but do you think I’m a liar or a madman?”.

“No, I don't think you’re either of those things” Tyrion seemed fond of this man.

He explained what he saw and told you about white walkers and that everyone should stick together to fight them instead of fighting each other.

You told him you’re here to take back the Iron throne and told them the things that happened to you and your mother that led you here, to this moment.

In return, the man who’s with Jon Snow told you why the people chose him to lead them. And what he’s seen. He also told you that he took a knife in the heart for his people and he gave his own-, but before he was able to continue, Jon shot him with a look that made him stop from talking. Tyrion tried to convince him to swear allegiance to you, but he refused saying that he doesn’t know you. He made a good point and you decided to let him stay. He was allowed to roam the castle, but wasn’t allowed to sail back north.

—-

“Amazing thing to see” he walked down the stairs outside Dragonstone, that had a beautiful sea-view.

“My mother named them after my uncles and father. Viserion, Rhaegal and Drogon. They’ll all gone now. I heard you lost two brothers” you told him and he nodded.

After another discussion about the throne and allegiance there was silence for a moment before you spoke again “I will allow you to mine the dragonglass and forge weapons from it. Any resources or men you need, I will provide for you”.

He looked shocked that you’d do something like that even though he didn’t bend the knee “thank you”.

The man was charming, it could be one of the reasons you allowed him to stay and keep his head.

As days passed, you’ve grown fond of him and he of you. Of course there was no time for things like that. You we’re fighting the Lannisters and he seemed to be in a completely different world.

After you returned from the battle, that you’ve won. You landed Drogon and Jon was standing there. He was afraid of him at the beginning m, but then he managed to touch him and pet him. That was something you’ve never seen before. Drogon didn’t like many people and yet he seemed to like Jon Snow.

“They’re beautiful, aren’t they?”.

“Wasn’t the word I was thinking of, but yes, they are gorgeous beasts”.

“They’re not beasts to me. No matter how big they get, how terrifying to everyone else. They’re my brothers”.

“If you don’t mind me asking, how is that even possible?”.

“I’m called fireborn for a reason. I never met my father. He died before I was born. You see my mother had three dragon eggs and when she had a funeral for my father, she placed the dragon eggs beside him and entered the circle of fire, while she was pregnant with me. After the fire burned out, the dragon eggs hatched and I was born at the same time” you explained and he seemed fascinated with the story “when you first came here, Ser Davos said you took a knife in the heart for your people-“ before you could ask your question he interrupted.

“Ser Davos gets carried away” he gave you a smile.

“So it was a figure of speech?” You asked but he didn’t answer.

After Jon convinced you to fight with him, you needed a plan to convince Cersei to join you.

You discussed the best way possible to do that and Tyrion decided to go to King’s Landing to talk to his brother Jaime, since he’s the only one she’d listen to.

But you needed proof of their existence, so Ser Jorah decided to go north of the wall to capture a wight.

“The free folk will help us. They know the north better than anyone” Jon proposed.

“They won’t follow Ser Jorah” Ser Davos reminded.

“They won’t have to” Jon looked you in the eyes and you were a bit sad. He has grown on you.

“You can’t lead a raid beyond the wall. You’re not in the night’s watch anymore. You’re king in the north”.

“I’m the only one here who has fought them and the only one here who knows them”.

“I haven’t given you permission to leave” you wished he would stay.

“With respect, your grace, I don’t need your permission. I am a king” he reminded. Sassy! “And I came here knowing that you could have your men behead me or your dragons burn me alive. I put my trust in you, a stranger, because I knew it was the best chance for my people, for all our people. Now, I’m asking you to trust in a stranger, because it’s our best chance” he gave a speech and you were convinced and accepted.

You escorted him to the shore.

“If I don’t return, at least you won’t have to deal with the king in the north anymore” Jon said.

“I’ve grown used to him”.

“I wish you good fortune in the wars to come, your grace”.

“Return safely to me” you muttered under your breath.

—-

“You seem distant, your grace. Is there something bothering you?” Missandei noticed you were thinking while she braided your hair.

“What?” You didn’t catch that.

“Is there something wrong?”.

“Not at all”.

“May I speak freely?” She asked permission.

“Of course. Always!”.

“Does it have something to do with Jon Snow? I noticed ever since he was here, you acted differently” she remarked.

“I see” you chuckled.

“He’s in love with you” Tyrion entered the room.

“Jon Snow isn’t in love with me” you didn’t want to give yourself false hope.

“Oh, my mistake. I suppose he stares at you longingly, because he’s hopeful for a success military alliance”.

You gave Tyrion’s words time to sink in before speaking “even if what you say is correct. It wouldn’t work between us”.

Grey Worm barged into the room, carrying a letter. Apparently, Jon and the others are in trouble and need your help up in the north.

“I have to go!”.

“What is it?” Tyrion noticed the discomfort on your face.

“It’s Jon and the other. They need me”.

“You can’t. The most important person in the world can’t fly off to the most dangerous place in the world” he advised you against it.

“Who else can?”.

“No one”.

“I’m the only person who can help them and it’s a chance for an alliance between us” you rode Drogon and took off with the other two.

The were too many wights, but your dragons burned them and as soon as you landed, you extended your hand to Jon. As he was about to take it, a few others attacked him and he went to fight them. The rest on the people who were with Jon managed to get on Drogon.

Suddenly, you heard Viserion screaming. When you looked up, blood was coming from everywhere. He then fell to the ground and sank under water. It all happened so fast and you were still in shock. You just watched your brother die.

“Go! Go, now! Leave!” Jon shouted from afar. The night king was ready to use another spear and kill your other brothers. You waited for Jon and he tried to reach you, but two wights jumped on him, making the ice break and there was no sign of Jon. You had no other choice but to leave.

When you arrived at the wall, you went to the top and hoped that Jon made it out alive, somehow. They managed to capture a wight and the ships were ready. They were now waiting for you.

“It’s time to go, your grace” Jorah informed you.

“A bit longer” you felt guilty for leaving him alone to die. And just as you turned away and were ready to give up, you heard the sound of the horn and someone saying open the gates. You immediately turned around and saw him in a bad shape. The men got him on the ship and he was freezing. Ser Davos and some other helped take off his clothes and that’s when you saw the scars of a knife on his upper body. He was stabbed more than once. With all those scars and he still looked beautiful.

After he regained consciousness and was able to talk, you visited his chambers.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry” were the first words to come out of his mouth. He almost died and he’s apologizing for what happened to Viserion. He’s a good man. “I wish I could take it back. I wish we’d never gone” he took your hand for a moment to comfort you, but you hesitated and took it back a moment after.

You tried to hold the tears back “I don’t. If we hadn’t gone, I wouldn’t have seen. You have to see to know. Now I know. The dragons are my brothers. I’ll never have real siblings. They are the only children my mother’ll ever have. And I’ll never have children. Do you understand?”.

“We’re going to destroy the night king and his army and we’ll do it together. You have my word” you promised.

“Thank you, y/n/n”.

“Y/n/n? It’s been a long time since I heard some calling me that. Only my mother does” you informed him.

“Alright, not Y/n/n. How about my queen?” It was more of a statement than a question “I’d uhm bend the knee, but-“.

“What about those who swore allegiance to you?” as much as you loved hearing him say those words, you wanted to be sure that he means it.

“They’ll all come to see you for what you are”.

In all this sadness, you managed to find a moment of happiness. You smiled and held his hand.

“I hope I deserve it” tears were forming in your eyes. He’s the first person who didn’t serve your mother to acknowledge you as his queen.

“You do” he assured you.

He stared at you and you got lost in the moment, before snapping out of it “you should get some rest” you retreated.

[atypicalkataangist]

Swan Song

Type: Oneshot [Fluff/Angst?]

Summary: Aang comes home late on his birthday

Word count: 2721

Author’s note: Hey guys! I hope you’re doing well (if any of you are still active). I’m actually not sure what I’m doing here... I’ve left this fandom months ago. I still love Kataang and most of the fans and creators celebrating them, but as it always happens with me and ships, after a while i get bored with them, and this is what happened to me after an intense year of shipping. Maybe I’ll return some day (perhaps the live action remake will be able to reignate my love for this ship if it’s been portrayed properly? Time will tell). Until then I’ll remain inactive when it comes to posting, although I’ll still be using tumblr. I don’t just want to make a blank note where I say that you’ll probably never hear of me again, so I decided to end it on a high note, posting one story that I had written almost half a year ago and completely forgot about it. And I must say that I was pretty baffled when I read it earlier this day, because I’m actually pretty happy with most of it. There was supposed to be a smutty ending, but I never got to finish it. Although I think it works that way as well. I hope you’ll find some joy in it! It’s just as cheesy as most of my previous work xD

Special thanks go out to those people who really supported and helped me during my time of activity. People like @kristallioness​ who included me in some of her favourite writer’s lists (for which I still feel incredibly honoured!) and of course the only person I would consider a real friend on this platform, @azulamakesmeblank​. It’s been nothing but a pleasure getting to know you over the last few months, and I hope we’ll stay in touch! But I got no real doubts there :)

Anyway, i promised a story, right? Here you go. Maybe I’ll be back one day, who knows? Until then, keep shipping and enjoy Kataang as much as you can! Signing off (for now) - atypicalkataangist/ Phil

It was almost midnight when he finally set foot on air temple island again. On the one hand he felt incredibly relieved that he made it back on time, on the other hand he regretted that he didn't make it back sooner. He knew she was waiting for him... at least He hoped though.

Today was his birthday, and she always loved to prepare sweet surprises for him. He was always telling her not to make such a big fuzz about a day like any other, but a part of him really loved her sweet, thoughtful gestures and surprises on his birthday, hoping they would never end.

He had been out working since sunrise, attending important meetings, planning festivities, talking and giving his advice to important people. Usually he liked his job, helping and advising people, taking responsibility for the safety and freedom of the many souls in republic city and beyond. But today was different.

Today he had just wanted to spend time with his wife, even more so since he had been very busy for the last weeks, spending almost no time with her at home anymore, and it made him feel very bad. She didn't deserve that. He loved her more than anything else in the entire world, he would give his own life for hers in a heartbeat. One or two years ago, when they got married, he never got tired of telling her how he felt about her, but now... He remained silent, and due to his work, he didn't even have much time to spend with her, and when he was at home, he was meditating most of the time.

He really missed her... When was the last time the two of them went on a vacation together? When was the last time they went out on a date like they used to do? Heck, when was the last time they had the nightlong, earth-shattering, sweat secreting, simply incredible kind of sex like they used to have? They were still having sex sometimes, but due to him being tired all the time and her not really being in the mood anymore, it was not at all what it used to be. They had been married for only two years now, not twenty! He wasn't ready to give up on his marriage yet like many married couples did after a few years. He would never give up on her for that matter.

He landed Appa in front of his cave at the northern coast of the island. The shed they had erected for him after building their home on the island had never been his prefered resting spot; He quickly found the spacious cave beneath the Avatar's home more comfortable and whenever said Avatar would go look for his bison the next morning after parking him into the shed, he would find him snooze peacefully in the cave, so by now he just let him sleep in the cave directly. With a pat on the bison's huge nose he wished him a good night, earning a tired grunt from the huge beast.

The Avatar slowly made his way up the stairs he once bent into the cliff himself, wandering around the island in the cool night air. His thoughts were by his wife, they always were. Hopefully she was still awake... Though no light in their home seemed to be lit.

With a soft creaking sound of the door, he entered their home, greeted by absolute silence and a faint glow whose source seemed to come from around the Corner of their living area on the opposite side of the hallway.

He slowly made his way to their living area, hoping to find his wife sitting, or maybe, if he truly came too late, sleeping on the couch, waiting for him. His hopes were disappointed though, she was not sitting there. Next to the lit candle on their short table however laid a piece of paper, with his name written on top in the beautiful, distinctive hand writing of his wife.

The sight of this made him nervous. He wouldn't be the first man left by his wife with only a short letter left behind. But she wouldn't do that, would she?

He picked up the letter, his nervousness causing him to jitter slightly. He unfolded the piece of paper and began to read.

"Hey, Sweetie. I hope you are reading this while this is still your birthday. In that case: Happy Birthday, my love. Although I would prefer to tell you in person... but I'm afraid you have to find me first. I've hidden a few letters around our home. The last one will lead you to me, hopefully still on time for your birthday. I promise I'll stay awake for you in my hiding place - I don't want the same thing as last year to happen. The first hint for the next letter and where to find me, is that I might be with a friend of yours. I'm sure you can figure it out.

All my love, Katara."

After scanning the lines two or three times with his eyes he folded the piece of paper again and put it back on the table, relieved that she has not run off and was indeed waiting for him. But why did she have to make a game out of it? He didn't have much of a choice, so he had to play her game.

He didn't need to think too much about where to find the second letter. They were completely alone on their Island, all his friends either living in republic city, or somewhere in the other nations. She had written that she hid the letters around their home, so it had to be one friend who lived with them on the island. And his only friend who shared his home with them apart from Appa was...

"Momo!", He called gladly upon entering the lemur's living area in the attic of the air temple's tower. "Buddy, I've missed you!" The lemur, who had been rolled up on a pillow before his friend entered, screached upon seeing him again, jumping at him and climbing up his head, his tail coiled around the Avatar's throat, tickling him with his fur. He petted the animal, who seemed to enjoy his master's attention, with a few loving strokes, before noticing a piece of paper rolled up next to the pillow on which Momo had been sleeping.

With his lemur still sitting on the top of his head, he rolled out the Letter after lighting a nearby candle with his firebending, allowing him to read what she had written. His heart began to beat harder as he began to read.

"Hi Aang, Congratulations for finding the second letter! It wasn't too hard, was it? I hope you used the opportunity to say hello to Momo again. It's weird, I haven't seen you play with him for months now... but I hope you were as happy to spend some time with him again as he was with you. He loves you. And you love him. If he could talk, he might ask why you don't have time for him anymore. And when you would say that you are really busy, giving your best to provide for your family and making the world a better place everyday, he would smile and he would tell you that it is okay. That you should keep doing what you're doing because it's what makes you happy.

It would hurt him, because he loves you. And your passion for helping people in need would only make him love you even more. But the more you would be away, helping people, the more he would love you and the more he would miss you.

Search for the third letter at the only place that is all yours.

I miss you, Aang.

Katara"

His stomach began to twist as he read the second half of the letter, his hand was shaking and his heart was pounding in his chest. Of course he realized what she tried to say. He felt anger. Anger and disappointment in himself. She wrote down how she felt. She wrote down explicitly that she felt neglected. And she had every reason to feel that way! Why did he do that to her? Did he get so much used to her looking out for him that he took her for granted? Is that what he had become already? A neglectful husband who leaves his wife alone everyday?

"I need to fix this..." He thought after carefully calming himself down again, blinking away a tear in his eye, "I need to tell her that she means everything to me."

He needed to find her first, though. The next letter was supposed to be at the only place on the island that was all his. That one was a bit harder... He couldn't think of one specific place. They shared the whole island, with no real 'private areas' for each one of them. The only place he could think of, was his meditation pavillon on the edge of the small cliff at the east side of the island. Although it was not per se only his place, he always went there just by himself to have some time alone, meditating.

He ran down to the entrance, across the yard in front of the house, passed the empty shed, and went along the small gravel path to the pavillon on the east side of the island. Coming closer, he already saw another piece of paper attached to one of the wooden columns of the pavillon drifting in the wind.

He took one deep breath before lighting another fire in his hand, beginning to read. Could it become even worse than before?

"My love,

sorry, I tricked a bit on that one. I know that we share this Island and that of course this isn't your exclusive place. The only one would probably be the spirit world, but... you see why it would be hard for me to leave a message there, right? So this was probably the next best thing.

It's weird. It's weird, that I feel jealous for a few wooden beams on a stone floor at the edge of the cliff. When I wake up and you're not lying next to me, the first thing I'm checking by having a look out of the window, is if you're meditating, and most of the time, you are.

Aang, I'm worried for you. It's not just that I wish that we could spend more time together, like we used to... You changed so much in such a short time. I don't mean that as a reproach, sweetie... I'm just wondering if you are okay. I'm worried when you remain silent, and I'm worried to see you seclude yourself more and more.

If you have something on your mind, Aang, please, for the love of spirits, talk to me, sweetie. Please. I am your wife. I have to know if something's not right... i promised not too long ago to forever be at your side, whatever may happen. So please, Aang. If you still love me, let me in. I beg you.

Come find the last letter at our bedroom. There is one final thing I have to tell you, and it'll either be our saving grace or the ending of our story. I'm really not sure anymore.

I only know that whatever will happen, I will always love you.

Katara"

His legs were shaking and he could barely hold up all the pain and anger that bubbled up in his chest. He had   to stop reading and start over again and again, to finally reach the end of the letter. He needed to see her. He needed to apologize. He needed to take her in his arms. He needed her to support him.

He made his way back to the house, up the stairs, to their bedroom. there was a single piece of paper lying on their empty bed, with only two ligns written on it. He held his breath, lit one small fire in his hand. He needed to find her now.

"Look out of the window. We are waiting for you."

Before his brain had realized what happened, he had already checked the window and ran down the stairs. Did he think of start breathing again? He had no idea. His heart was racing, his stomach twisted even more, and his legs felt numb, though he couldn't stop running as fast as he could.

It felt like hours until he had finally reached her in the shed. He had seen a dim light glowing in the window of the shed all of the sudden as he looked out the window, so she had to be here.

When he entered, He was greeted by the glow of dozens of lit candles placed amongst mountains of hay that didn't seem to have an end in the back of the shed.

She sat on the exact opposite side on a roll of hay, her hands resting on her lap. She wore a light blue, quite simple, but beautiful nightgown, her long brown hair was open and combed behind her ear. She looked up into his eyes when she heard him enter. She smiled lovingly and got up, while he ran into her direction with a destined expression on his face.

"Aang.", she whispered, just as he reached her, raising her hand and resting it on his warm, sweaty cheek. "You're here."

He was shaking as he tried to lay his hands on his wife's neck to hold her.

"Katara...", he groaned, all the emotion inside of him, everything she had revealed him about herself about to break out any second now.  "You... you... are pregnant?", he half asked, half stated while tearing up, causing her eyes to become wet as well.

She nodded carefully at first, then more decisively, still unsure what think of his overwhelmed expression. "Y...yes, sweetie. I'm pregnant." Tears began to roll down her cheek. "We...we're going to be parents, Aang..."

He breathed out for what felt like the first time in ten minutes, causing all of his emotions to flush out as well.

And then he grinned, grinned and laughed while tears of joy as well as tears of guilt for his absence in the past shot out his eyes. None of them could say another word before he took her in his arms and kissed her. He put all of himself into the kiss, all his pain, his guilt, as well as his boundless love for his wife and his unborn child. His legs gave in and he fell on his knees, taking her with him. They didn't stop the kiss. None of them could have if he or she had wanted to. They didn't kiss like man and wife in that Moment. The didn't even kiss like two lovers. They kissed like two souls who needed each other to survive. They both wanted to say so many things, but everything and so much more was said in that exact moment. They both felt that they needed each other.

After what felt like hours, their lips loosened, but their grip around each others back did not. They kept crying as they held their opposite firmly in their arms.

"I'm sorry", he sniveled, his face buried in her hair, "So, so sorry for keeping you out, Katara."

"I know.", she whispered into his ear, pressing herself against him. "It's okay, Aang. Now it's okay."

"I love you, Katara. I love you more than anything else. Now, more than ever, you are the most important thing of my life. I'm so scared, Katara...  just so scared... and you are the only thing that can help me. I need you..."

She had seen him emotional many times up until now, but this was something new. It felt like he opened up his body, let go of all restraint and showed her his deepest, most intimate self, the very essence of his soul.

She kept him in his embrace, letting him feel that she was there for him, whispering calming, loving things into his ear. "I'm there for you.", she kept saying.

„I’m here for you.“

[bigfan-fanfic]

What I’ve Learned from Disney Princesses

Sorry - super long post that isn’t a fic and doesn’t have anything to do with much. Just a rant - something I thought about and had to write down.

I firmly believe that in life, we are always learning. And from a young age, I have been learning from Disney - I think that my rather large vocabulary comes from learning Disney songs by heart at a young age - there are some pretty complicated words in there, people!

I was born and currently identify as male, but the Disney Princess movies have taught me valuable lessons over my life. The Princesses espouse admirable qualities, teach life lessons, and introduce us to the harsh truths of life. I’d like to share with you what I found the message these characters send to be, and maybe see if anyone feels the same?

So, under the break, I’m going to discuss all 12 of the official Disney Princesses, as well as Elsa and Anna, because I feel they have a lot to offer as far as life lessons go.

1. Snow White (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs)

Snow White does teach valuable lessons. She is just a young girl during the movie, but she shows remarkable fortitude in her ordeals. She does put herself in a servant role to the Dwarfs, but think about it -she’s been made a servant by her stepmother, so it’s likely the only thing of use she knows how to do. Not to mention she’s paying for her lodging and food by working. Snow is a princess, but she shows remarkable humility by being willing to work and earn her keep. 

Snow’s story also teaches us the downfalls of seeing the good everywhere. A little bit of cynicism is healthy, and keeps us alive. Snow’s willingness to see the good is what allows her to be so cheerful and loving towards the Dwarfs, but also makes her an easy target for a certain apple salesperson.

Be humble. Be fair. And don’t be so trusting.

2. Cinderella (Cinderella)

Cinderella might seem to be a passive, submissive example of a princess who “needs a man to rescue her.” But I think differently. Cinderella shows courage and strength in doing the only thing she can: surviving. Think about it: Cinderella has basically no other option but to be slave to her stepfamily. Her mother and father are dead. But does she complain? Does she give in to the idea that there might not be a single human left in the world who cares about her?

No.

Cinderella teaches us the quiet strength of endurance, of compassion and love even when we don’t receive any. Cinderella remains positive and hopeful in the face of adversity, and she is rewarded. 

Cinderella teaches us the harsh truth that sometimes, we have no other option but to muddle through and hope. Dreaming and wishing can be our refuge, and we must not let ourselves be broken by our circumstances. We must always show compassion and love where we are shown none, to those that need and deserve it. Cinderella cares for her animal friends, even though they can not conceivably do anything for her, and this “paying it forward” is rewarded.

And yes, Cinderella does have to depend on the kindness of others. But this in itself is a lesson. We, like Cinderella, do not always have agency over our lives. Sometimes we are kept from the ball. Sometimes the spell has to end at midnight. But Cinderella’s endurance and spirit is what sees her through.

Be strong. Be kind. Be like Cinderella.

3. Aurora (Sleeping Beauty)

True, there isn’t much to take from Aurora’s actions, due to her getting little screen time. But, Aurora teaches us the power of intent. She has been sheltered all her life and cut off from contact. And yet, she is unafraid to dream of finding more. And she does, though probably not how she expected to.

Aurora teaches us the harsh truth that we can be punished for something we had no control over. She was cursed to effectively die for an insult her parents gave! (Incidentally, a lesson I learned from Sleeping Beauty was to show respect at all times, to avoid grudges) 

Aurora may not teach us much directly. Her lessons involve having no control, and just having to deal with it.

So, yes, there will be times when your life won’t be fair. And, sorry, but you’ll just have to hope for the best. Hold on to your dreams for when life hits you hard.

4. Ariel (The Little Mermaid)

For a long time, Ariel was my least favorite Disney Princess. She’s the “girl who has everything” but can’t appreciate it.  She’s got material goods, family who cares, friends, a killer singing voice, but she takes it all for granted. Not to mention she skips out on prior commitments for selfish reasons. But Ariel teaches us a lesson about parenting that we would do well to remember:

Share with your child. Ariel’s curiosity about the surface world stems from her father’s insistence that she should never come in contact with it. Triton could’ve avoided a whole lot of trouble by maybe showing Ariel the human world a little at a time, or told her about why Ursula was so bad. 

Ariel also a lesson of her own: that it is okay to depend on others. Yes, she needs Sebastian to help her romance Eric. Yes, she needs Eric to help her defeat Ursula. But these do not make her weak. Ariel’s pure love and curiosity for whatever she happens to come across is her strength, and is what charms everyone around her. She is willing to selflessly defy her father in order to save a surface person from almost certain death. We all need to realize that we are not alone in this world, and it is okay to rely on those we can trust. When, like Ariel, we are voiceless, we should be able to count on our loved ones for support.

So, parents, share and be honest with your children. Kids, know that you aren’t alone, that it’s okay to rely on your parents and friends for stuff. You aren’t weak. We all need each other.

5. Belle (Beauty and the Beast)

Belle is possibly my favorite Disney Princess of all time. She’s got it all: brains, confidence, beauty. But the real virtue she shows us as people does not come from her book learning. It comes from emotional intelligence. Belle’s greatest quality is her understanding. 

Belle lives in a small town full of “little people,” and she is insecure about how different she is from them. The repetitive life they lead is not enough for her, and she wonders if anyone can understand her. There’s “no one [she] can really talk with.” And later, the villagers will state in “The Mob Song” that “we don’t like what we don’t understand; in fact it scares us, and this monster is mysterious at least.���

She is the only one who can see through the facade that Gaston puts on for all the villagers. She is able to see through the Beast’s posturing and get him to become the man inside. Belle sees Cogsworth’s pride and uses it to get him to show her the castle, and recognizes that the Beast won’t hurt her. Her understanding of people, and her ability to look past the outer shell is her greatest power, and ultimately allows her to break the curse by recognizing her love for the Beast, despite how mean and vicious he may appear. Belle shows us the value of attempting to understand those that may look and behave differently from us, and how reaching across that divide may not be as difficult as we think.

Belle’s story also teaches us the harsh truth that talent and wisdom often go unappreciated compared to beauty and looks. No one believes “Crazy Old Maurice” when his word is against Gaston, the village golden boy. None of the villagers see anything other than a scary, mysterious castle with a vicious beast in it. Even the Beast himself was cursed due to his inability to look past the Enchantress’ disguise. 

So seek to understand those you meet, both their flaws and qualities. And don’t judge a book by its cover. 

6. Jasmine (Aladdin)

Jasmine is pretty cool. She has a pet tiger, so... 

Anyway, Jasmine shows us how to be free. She doesn’t want to be wed to someone she doesn’t love, and so she tries to escape her life. She has Rajah attack suitors who try to get too close. She doesn’t take anything from anyone. Jasmine is generous and righteous, and although she might get into trouble due to her sheltered upbringing, Jasmine teaches us that we can’t let people deny us our freedom.

But Jasmine’s story teaches us the harsh truth that there are people out there who will stop at nothing to get what they want. Jafar resorts to manipulation, mind control, and then outright force to get what he wants. Even Aladdin uses the Genie’s incredible power to deceive his way to Jasmine. But even though Prince Ali seems perfect, Jasmine doesn’t really start to like him until he semi-reveals himself as Aladdin by asking her “do you trust me?” And Jasmine defies Jafar, even when he has the Genie’s power, even when he has her father under his power.

So, even when the greedy and selfish seek to use you, remember to hold on and exercise your freedom. It’s your life.

7. Pocahontas (Pocahontas)

Pocahontas is possibly the most controversial on the list, but I think that she is important in the lessons she can teach.

Pocahontas is independent and true to herself, but she also wrestles with tough inner conflict from duty. She wants to hope that something “waits just around the riverbend” but is in conflict with her tribe’s mantra of keeping steady and not rocking the boat. But her greatest virtue is her commitment to peace.

 Pocahontas not only promotes peace between cultures, but peace between man and nature. “We are all connected to each other/in a circle, in a hoop that never ends.” Pocahontas believes in this value of peace so much that she is willing to sacrifice herself for love rather than live in a world where war has broken out among the two sides. Her main adviser is not a human, but a spirit of nature itself. 

And the movie reveals harsh truths about how people treat those they do not understand. The song “Savages” is especially poignant, as Pocahontas deals with her inability to save John Smith while both sides abandon any hope for peace/cooperation and prepare for war. A strain from “Listen With Your Heart” plays before the second part of the song, showing that Pocahontas will either prove that peace is possible or die trying. As the end of the song arises, Pocahontas throws herself onto John Smith, forcing her father to either choose to back down or to kill his own daughter. 

Yes, Pocahontas sanitizes a lot of the struggle of the period. But the idea that one selfless act has the power to affect change is a powerful one. Pocahontas shows us that peace is an ideal worth dying for, even when it seems that no one will listen.

8. Mulan (Mulan)

Mulan starts her film chafing against her society’s constraints, unable to be herself and attempting to force herself into the mold of “perfect porcelain doll” that she is expected to be. Mulan’s love for her father is what motivates her to join the army in his place. Ironically, as her story deals with deception and deceit for the greater good, Mulan teaches us to be true to ourselves.

While she masquerades as Ping, Mulan is largely ineffectual, starting a camp-wide brawl on her first day and earning enmity from her comrades by adopting an overly-macho facade. It’s only when Mulan uses skills from her true personality that she thrives. Her ingenuity is foreshadowed in the way she does her chores by setting up Little Brother to do them, her sense of fairness is shown when she gives a little girl back her doll, and her incredible persistence is shown in the way she steadfastly goes through with the matchmaking ceremony, even when she has to resort to cheating to get through it. 

Mulan’s creativity allows her to climb the pole to retrieve the arrow, and her victory against Shan Yu in the mountains is brought about by her creative use of the cannon to cause an avalanche.

Mulan teaches us the harsh truth that there are things in life that we will just not be good at. Mulan does not excel at the memorization and graceful movements that other girls in her society are expected to use. But she does excel at tactics, thinking creatively, and adapting to situations as they come. And though her society prevents her from using her true talents, she finds a way to break out of that box and use her abilities to their fullest extent.

We all have our strengths and talents, and we must find a way to use them rather than be constrained by the norms of society. “The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all.”

9. Tiana (The Princess and the Frog)

Tiana is different from the other Princesses because her best quality is also her flaw - she is focused and hard-working. Tiana is so diligent towards achieving her goals that she doesn’t allow herself to enjoy life. Tiana mostly teaches others how to focus on what they really want, but she’s got her own lesson to learn. 

“I remember Daddy told me/”Fairy tales can come true,/ But you’ve got to make them happen/it all depends on you.” Tiana has learned this lesson that blood, sweat, and tears are dependable - fairy godmothers are rare. It is hard to determine what Tiana needs to learn because she has so many good qualities - responsibility, self-sufficiency, diligence

“Blue skies and sunshine” are what Mama Odie recommends to her, and Tiana realizes that she doesn’t have to deny herself fun to achieve her goals. She starts out with several jobs to save up for her restaurant, and it all turns out to be for nothing. Tiana already knows that she must rely on herself to make her dreams come true, but she needs to learn to stop and smell the roses. She learns that she doesn’t have to solely dedicate herself to one thing. She can take time for fun, time to dance with her mother before getting back to work.

But Tiana’s story also teaches us the harsh truth that people are often far too open to temptation. “This whole town can slow you down/People taking the easy way...” Dr. Facilier and the Friends from the Other Side take advantage of what people want but don’t want to work for in order to manipulate them. “You got what you wanted/But you lost what you had.” Tiana, however, recognizes the value of hard work and does not give in to the Doctor’s manipulations. Even when Facilier gives her her restaurant, where she is loved and respected and dressed up, she quickly realizes it is nothing but an empty offer. Tiana does what none of the other characters tempted by Facilier have been able to do - say no.

So, work hard, but don’t forget to play sometimes. And know that your dreams won’t come true overnight - hard work is often needed.

10. Rapunzel (Tangled)

Rapunzel’s story teaches us perseverance. Every year, the king and queen send up lanterns for the lost princess - never losing hope that their daughter is out there. And it is these very lanterns that draw their daughter back to them. Rapunzel perseveres in her tower, waiting for her life to begin. And when opportunity finally strikes, Rapunzel seizes it. She doesn’t just grab the bull by the horns, she swipes it upside the head with a frying pan!

Rapunzel teaches us the harsh truth that trust is never to be taken for granted. Even the people who are supposed to love us and care for us might not always have our best interests at heart. Rapunzel spends much of the movie fearful that she is betraying her mother, only to find out she was lied to her whole life. The folks at the Snuggly Duckling encourage her to chase her dreams, but also inadvertently set Gothel on her trail. And Gothel is easily able to manipulate Rapunzel into distrusting Eugene.

So never give up, and be sure that those you place your trust in deserve it.

11. Merida (Brave)

Merida, like Mulan, struggles with societal constraints. Like Ariel, she can be flighty and irresponsible. But ultimately, Merida teaches us about the give and take of relationships, even among parents and children. Merida feels her mother lacks understanding. And her mother feels the same. Their relationship, once so close, is broken by the divide between them, represented by Merida’s damaging of the tapestry her mother made.

As Merida and Eleanor go through their journey, Merida learns about her mother’s strength and power, which comes from calm words and the bearing of a leader

12. Moana (Moana)

Moana is a really great addition to the lineup. She’s strong, funny, and smart, and she is wise. Moana, unlike Mulan, does not struggle with fitting in to society. She is able to competently assume the role of chief under the guidance of her father. And it is important to note that when Moan first tries to go to the sea, she fails. It is only when she does so in order to save her people that she succeeds. 

So, Moana’s virtue is also her tough lesson. There are things in this world more important than ourselves. Maui’s need to be loved is also the source of his great insecurity, and led him to steal the heart of Te Fiti. Te Ka’s anger nearly prevents Moana and Maui from restoring her heart. Moana’s grandmother and mother teach her the power of selflessness. Moana’s grandmother is the one to teach her about their people’s past as voyagers, and Moana’s mother - though she may fear for her daughter’s life - allows her to go and helps her pack for her journey. And Moana teaches Maui about doing things for others, not for gratitude, but because it is right. 

And Moana leads her people into voyaging once more. Not because she desired to go to the sea, but because it is the way of her people that was forgotten. Because it was the only solution to save her people when they began to overfish and helps spread them across the world. Moana’s motivation grows from a selfish one to a selfless one. And in a weird way, this comes from self-acceptance. “I Am Moana” is what she learns, that she can do things, and her talents are to be used to help her people, not just herself. 

Be yourself. Use your talents and follow your dreams. But never forget to use your abilities and gains for the good of others.

13. Elsa (Frozen)

Elsa is forced for much of her life to live in isolation, even from her beloved sister, which practically destroys their relationship. “Let It Go” may be a song for accepting herself, but it also occurs in isolation. Elsa feels the only way she can be herself is through this isolation. “Yes, I’m alone, but I’m alone and free.” She’s not really accepting who she is, but rather accepting the idea that she’s a dangerous monster, but when no one’s there for her to hurt, she can be happy.

Elsa learns through her sister’s love that she isn’t a monster. And she learns that love is how she can control her powers. Her parents worry that her powers will make her a target, but the fear of herself instilled in her makes them more uncontrollable. After all, if Elsa’s had these powers all her life (and shows remarkable control over them at a young age), the loss of control is directly linked to self-suppression. It is only when Anna sacrifices herself that Elsa regains true control -  because Anna repeatedly shows that she loves her sister, no matter what. And this unconditional love makes Elsa truly believe that she isn’t a monster.

So, Elsa teaches us that to truly accept ourselves, we need to accept others. You don’t have to be as cheery and personable as Anna, but isolation isn’t healthy.

14. Anna (Frozen)

Anna, meanwhile, learns a similar lesson. Also forced into isolation, Anna desires to have experiences, to live life. “For the First Time in Forever” really indicates Anna’s longing for connection and experience. Part of why she’s so willing to love Hans and believe he loves her is because of this isolation. In her point of view, Elsa rebuffs her one day with no warning, and practically never even sees her again for years. “Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?” shows Anna’s regret and sadness as the years pass, and is heartbreaking as she slowly stops trying to communicate with her sister.

Anna teaches us about trying to communicate, about showing unconditional love. “Please don’t shut me out again,” she begs Elsa. And even though her sister has (accidentally) hurt her, Anna consistently tries to bridge the gap. 

Anna’s arc shows us the tough truth that relationships, even close ones, can decay. The close sisterly bond has all but faded between them. But Anna also shows us that no matter the difficulty. At the final scene, when the tune of “Do You Wanna Build a Snowman” plays, it signifies that Elsa and Anna have finally repaired their relationship, that they finally can be family again.

So, we learn from Anna to give our love unconditionally. Because forgiveness, trust, love, and most importantly the desire to make a connection all help us repair our broken relationships.

[dumbledearme]

chapter two—a safe place

read Child of Land and Sea here

Act I — Storm At Sea

Part II — Look at this trove, treasures untold. How many wonders can one summer camp hold?

The gods existed. That's what they were trying to convince her of. The gods existed, they were out there watching over people. The gods were out there watching over people and yet none of them had lifted a finger to save Andy's mom. Sally was dead, gone, vaporized into smoke by a monster that couldn't be real. Andy's head was spinning and they just wouldn't stop talking about the damn gods!

Andy, her mother and Grover had been followed by an enormous beast, half bull half man. Sally had called it Pasiphae's son or whatever, but the only word going through Andy's mind had been Minotaur. Only they wouldn't let her say it out loud. Andy didn't know what to do, what to think. There was a mythical creature following them, trying to kill them, her best friend was a goat—okay, a satyr, as he patiently explained—and her mother seemed to find everything about that situation quite normal. Sally even admitted to have expected such an attack.

Then the bull-man grunted, pawing the ground and charged toward them. Andy could still feel the earth moving under her feet. She could still smell the rotten meat that exhaled from it. But the fear couldn't compare to the feeling of emptiness of when the monster grabbed her mother and turned her to dust.

Andy had lost her mind then. She had attacked the monster with all her might. And somehow, she had managed to destroy it.

After several days in some sort of coma, Andy woke up to find out that none of that had been a dream. It had all happened. Grover told her she was in Camp Half-Blood, a safe place, the place her father had wanted to send her to. The place Sally didn't want her to go to.

Grover took her to the Great House where Andy was introduced to none other than her former Latin teacher, Mr. Brunner, only now he was a centaur going by the name of Chiron.

As if that wasn't weird enough, Andy was forced to sit down for a game of pinochle with the camp's director, Mr. D, also known as Dionysus, son of Zeus, etc etc. Andy wanted to pass out to stop herself from hearing any more of their crazy-talk. They told her the gods existed, they kept repeating it, as if the more they said it the faster she would come to accept it. But Andy couldn't accept that, she found herself completely unable to. Too much craziness and not enough time to process it.

The god of wine apparently had been banished to care for Camp Half-Blood because of a wood nymph he hadn't been able to stay away from. Nothing new there. Boys will be (stupid) boys. His father had declared her off limits, but that wasn't enough to stop Dionysus who was now forced to stay here, forbidden to have a sip of wine.

Then they told her the gods of Olympus were now here in America. They gave her a perfectly good explanation that Andy barely heard. And after that, Chiron invited her for a tour which Andy thought was a terrible idea, since every single one of the other campers kept staring at her and whispering. Most of them were older than Andy and their satyr friends were bigger than Grover. They all wore the same orange CAMP HALF-BLOOD T-shirt. Andy wasn't shy, but the way they stared made her feel extremely uncomfortable. Trying to take off the edge she was feeling, she asked Chiron about Grover.

"He has big dreams," Chiron told her. "Perhaps bigger than are reasonable. To reach his goal, he must first demonstrate great courage by succeeding as a keeper, finding a new camper and bringing him safely to Half-Blood Hill."

"But he did that."

"I might agree with you," Chiron said. "But it is not my place to judge. Dionysus and the Council of Cloven Elders must decide. I'm afraid they might not see this assignment as a success. After all, Grover lost you in New York. Then there's the unfortunate... ah... fate of your mother. And the fact that Grover was unconscious when you dragged him over the property line. The Council might question whether this shows any courage on Grover's part."

"But... he'll get a second chance, won't he?"

Chiron winced. "I'm afraid that was Grover's second chance, Andy. The Council was not anxious to give him another, either, after what happened the first time, seven years ago. Olympus knows, I advised him to wait longer before trying again. He's still so small for his age..."

"How old is he?"

"Oh, twenty-eight."

"Whaaaat!"

"Satyrs mature half as fast as humans, Andy."

"Oh, that's unfortunate."

"Quite," Chiron agreed. "At any rate, Grover is a late bloomer, even by satyrs standards, and not yet very accomplished at woodland magic. Alas, he was anxious to pursue his dreams. Perhaps now he will find some other career..."

"That isn't fair. What happened the first time? Was it really so bad?"

Chiron looked away quickly and the matter was ended. He would not discuss it with Andy. It was none of her business.

Finally, Chiron showed Andy the cabins. There were twelve of them, nestled in the woods by the lake. They were arranged in a U, with two at the base and five in a row on either side. Chiron explained that each of the cabins represented one of the twelve Olympian gods but Andy was more preoccupied in wondering why some of them looked empty. But before she could ask Chiron that, a blond boy came their way. He was tall, probably Andy's age, and very athletic looking. With his deep tan and his smooth yellow hair, he was exactly the type of guy who'd never glance at Andy twice. When he got closer, Andy saw that his eyes were gray, like storm clouds; pretty but extremely intimidating.

"This is Anthony," Chiron told Andy. "He nursed you back to health."

Andy tried to smile. "Hey."

The boy glared at her, obviously unimpressed with what he was seeing. "You drool when you sleep," he felt the need to inform her. Andy felt the need to slap him.

"Anthony," Chiron said, "I have master's archery class at noon. Would you take Andy from here?"

"Yes, sir," the boy said very politely, as if he was a fifty year old ambassador instead of a hot teenage boy. Andy shook her head.

"We'll be putting her in cabin eleven for now," added Chiron before leaving them.

Out of all the cabins, eleven looked the most like a regular summer camp cabin and it was the most crowded one as well. There were boys and girls, more than there were beds, so there was sleeping bags spread all over the floor. Andy stood in the doorway, looking at the kids that stared at her in return.

"Well?" Anthony prompted. "Go on." So naturally, Andy tripped coming in the door and made a total fool of herself. Most of them laughed, but Anthony didn't seem to think it was funny at all. "Andy Jackson, meet cabin eleven."

"Regular or undetermined?" Somebody asked.

"Undetermined," he replied. Everyone groaned. A guy around Andy's age made his way through the crowd and if Andy had thought Anthony looked hot, it was nothing compared to this boy. He was much taller than everyone else, his muscles were impossible not to stare at and his short-cropped sandy hair went perfectly nicely with his charming smile. There was no other word to describe him but cool.

"Now, now, campers," he said, "that's what we're here for. Welcome, Andy. You can have that spot on the floor, right over there." He stopped right beside Andy and she noticed two things about him she hadn't seen from the distance. He had a unsettling thick white scar that ran from just beneath his right eye to his jaw—not that that made him any less hotter—and he wore a leather necklace with seven different-colored clay beads.

"This is Luke," Anthony said and this time his voice was full of pride. Andy wondered if she wasn't the only one charmed by the guy. "He's your counselor for now."

"For now?" Andy asked, disappointed.

"You're undetermined," explained Luke. "They don't know what cabin to put you in, so you're here. Cabin eleven takes all the newcomers, all visitors. Naturally, we would. Hermes, our patron, is the god of travelers."

"How long will I be here?"

"Until you're determined," he said.

"How long will that take?"

The campers laughed.

"Come on," said Anthony. "I'll show you the rest."

"Oh I'm pretty sure I've seen everything," Andy told him, wishing to stay with the other hot dude. Anthony grabbed her wrist and dragged her outside. Andy could hear the others still laughing.

"You have to do better than that," he told her, when they were outside.

"Excuse me?"

He rolled his eyes. Again, Andy's hand itched to hit him. "I can't believe I thought you were the one."

"What is your problem?" she snapped. "I just got here. I have absolutely no idea what is going on. My mother's dead and I killed this bull guy and—"

"You know how many of us wish they'd had your chance?" he interrupted. "To fight the Minotaur? That's what we train for."

Andy still wanted to hit him, but she thought of something she hadn't figured before. "If... If that thing I fought really was the Minotaur, the one in the stories..."

"Yes?"

"Then there's only one."

"Your point being?"

"He died, like, a gazillion years ago. Theseus or some other guy killed him in the labyrinth."

"Monsters don't die. They can be killed, but they don't die."

"Oh, yes. That makes perfect sense. Why didn't I see it before?"

Anthony sighed. "They don't have souls, like you and me. You can dispel them for a while, maybe even for a whole lifetime if you're lucky. But they are primal forces. Chiron calls them archetypes. Eventually, they reform."

Andy thought about Mrs. Dodds. "You mean, if I killed one... With a sword...?"

"The Fur—Your math teacher. Yes, she's still out there. You just made her very angry."

"How do you know about that?"

"When you're not drooling all over yourself, you talk a lot in your sleep."

Andy chose to ignore that. "You almost called her something. A Fury? They're Hades' torturers, right?"

"You shouldn't call them by name," he said nervously. "We call them the Kindly Ones, if we have to speak of them at all."

Andy scowled, "Is there anything we can say without it thundering? And why do I have to stay in cabin eleven? Why is everybody crowded there when there are several cabins empty?"

"You don't just choose a cabin. It depends on who your parents are. Or rather... parent."

"My mom is Sally Jackson," Andy heard herself say. "Or rather... was."

A shadow of sorrow crossed the boy's eyes. But only for a second. "I'm sorry about your mom, but that is not what I meant."

Andy shook her head. "I don't have... I never met him. I don't know who he is. He's probably dead."

"He's not dead."

"How do you know?"

"I know you. And you wouldn't be here if—"

"You don't know anything about me."

"No?" He raised an eyebrow. "I bet you moved around from school to school. You were kicked out of most of them. Diagnosed with dyslexia. Probably ADHD, too."

Andy tried to swallow. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Taken together, it's almost a sure sign. The letters float off the page when you read. That's because your brain is hardwired for ancient Greek. And the ADHD—you're impulsive, can't sit still in class. That's your battlefield reflexes. In a real fight, they'd keep you alive. As for the attention problems, that's because you see too much, not too little. Your senses are better than a regular mortal's. Of course the teachers want you medicated. Most of them are monsters. They don't want you seeing them for what they are."

"You sound like... like you went through the same thing?"

"All of us did. If you weren't like us, you couldn't have survived the Minotaur, much less the ambrosia and nectar."

"Ambrosia and nectar?"

"What I've been feeding you. The food and drink of the gods. I would've turned your blood to fire and your bones to sand if you were a regular kid. Face it. You're a half-blood."

Suddenly Andy realized she had a million questions to ask. But they would have to wait for a husky voice yelled, "Well! A newbie!"

Andy looked over. A big girl, twice Andy's size, walked over to them with an evil sneer. She had three other girls behind her, all big and ugly and mean looking like her, all wearing camo jackets.

"Clarisse," said Anthony. "Why don't you go polish your spear or something?"

"Sure, you nerd," the big girl said. "So I can run you through with it Friday night."

Anthony cursed her in ancient Greek. That would'd been weird enough if not for the fact that Andy understood him perfectly. "You don't stand a chance."

"We'll pulverize you," Clarisse said, but her eye twitched. "Now who's the little rat?"

Andy raised her head, though it made no difference, she was much shorter than the other girl.

"Andy Jackson," said Anthony, "meet Clarisse La Rue, daughter of Ares."

Andy blinked. "Like the war god?"

Clarisse sneered. "You got a problem with that?"

"No," Andy said, taking a step ahead. "It explains the smell."

Clarisse growled. "We got an initiation ceremony for newbies, little rat. Come on, I'll show you."

"Clarisse—" Anthony tried to say.

"Stay out of it, geek." Anthony looked unsure, but he did stay out of it. Clarisse grabbed Andy by the neck and dragged her towards a cinder-block building—the bathroom.

Andy kicked and punched but the giant girl had hands like iron. There was a line of toilets on one side and a line of shower stalls down the other. Clarisse's friends were all laughing and Anthony stood on the corner, watching. Clarisse bent Andy over her knees and started pushing her head toward the toilet bowl. It reeked. Andy strained to keep her head up. She was decided not to go into that disgusting water. Then she felt a tug in the pit of her stomach. The plumbing rumbled, the pipes shuddered. Clarisse's grip on her hair loosened.

Water shot out of the toilet, making an arc straight over her head, and the next thing she knew, Andy was sprawled on the bathroom tiles with Clarisse screaming behind her. The water hit her so hard she fell on her ass. She struggled, gasping, and ran after her friends out of there. The entire bathroom was flooded. Andy turned to find Anthony staring right at her with those stormy eyes. He seemed genuinely surprised.

Andy stood up, knees weak.

"How did you—"

"I don't know," she said, defensively.

Anthony simply stared. "I want you on my team for capture the flag," he said finally.

[yutikyis]

Honest Q&A: Round 5! Table

Glad to see you all here. Let’s jump right in then. It’s been a while and our reader’s will surely be itching to learn more about Eorzea’s adventurous types.

If you were ruler of your own country what would be the first law you would introduce?

Yuti: O-oh. Um. T-that’s a difficult q-question. I s-suppose I’d um... I m-mean a-are we talking a-about anything here? B-because I w-would r-rather like to f-fully fund a state-respected h-healing guild t-to allow equal access to treatment f-for all people. T-that’s something a l-law can do, right?

Reri: Bloody Hells, Snowflake, ya get unlimited power an’ THAT’S what you pick? I’d make duels to th’ death legal an’ mandatory for solvin’ problems. Shite’d be a lot more interestin’ if you had to put yer gil where yer mouth is when ya get uppity, eh?

Rahya: ... Um. I ain’t bein’ too sure about that. I ain’t really wantin’ a country, truth be told. Seems like a lotta work. So I guess I’d make the law that everyone should be real nice an’ work together? An’ then I’d retire cuz I ain’t gonna be a good leader none. Sayo: I would have to consider the existing laws of the country and figure out where the flaws and faults lie. Simply picking a ‘law’ without considering the consequences and context is foolish.

Eyn: ... Abolish slavery.

Meichi’a: Obviously once you become the ruler you have to show it. So I would order new coins to be printed with my glorious face on the coin. ... aaah, I had you there, didn’t I? I mean I would do that but it wouldn’t be my first act. Really I wouldn’t be part of any nation that would have me as a ruler. I may be devilishly attractive but a leader I am not. Though I suppose I could be talked into being a figurehead for some buxom and charm- .

Maeve: Mister Rouw, I do believe that you are going too far! It would do better to be polite and demure! I would never rule a country of course but I would gladly advise my Master or Mistress on how best to institute their ideas! 

Ganzorig: ... Execution of criminals. Yes? Logical? Are you expecting something more?

What’s the longest you’ve gone without sleep (and why)?

Yuti: Ah... s-several days. It was a-after I was p-poisoned. T-the nightmares were... w-well... I c-couldn’t b-bring myself to s-sleep for more than a few moments.

Reri: I shoulda figured it was somethin’ like that. Me? Three days, when I was huntin’ a particularly squirrely beast in the mountains. Damn thing seemed like it was never gonna go down. Worth every minute though. Best damn sleep of my life.

Rahya: Um, I been tryin’ ta sleep a good night every night. I ain’t like stayin’ up because it makes ya feel all oogy an’ woogy an’ ya don’t feel good. Ya’ll oughta sleep well.  Sayo: I agree with Miss Rahya. A proper night’s sleep is a requirement. One may have to skip it in an emergency but never for more than a few hours. A proper flower must attempt at least eight hours a night in most situations in order to maintain her poise, beauty and grace.

Eyn:  Four days.

Meichi’a: Well, I’ve had many a sleepless night, especially with charming company. Never more than a night though. (And, between you and me, my goodly sir, I usually cat-nap during the day afterwards!) 

Maeve: I have gone exactly one day, twenty one hours, and thirty nine minutes without sleep!

Ganzorig: Two days. Often. Time wasted sleeping can not be regained. 

Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without?

Yuti: A b-book to read f-for certain. T-there’s nothing like a good book.

Reri: Who here is shocked? C’mon, show of hands. Anyone? Anyone? No? Didn’t think.. put yer damn hand down, One-Eye, or I’ll put it down for ya. As for me? A good drink. Makes life worth livin’ on the days ya ain’t gettin’ something better.

Rahya: I ain’t sure why ya told me ta put up my hand an’ then yelled at me but a’ight... um... I ain’t sure there’s nothin’ I couldn’t do without. I got stuffs I like real muchly like Grape an’ my cards, but I ain’t always had ‘em and I can survive right good without ‘em. Sayo: Many ask questions they do not wish to know the answer to, Miss Rahya. As for myself, I would say a day without a quiet moment to myself is a day I would regret. Everyone needs a time of peace to center themselves and find their inner goal.

Eyn: A fight. 

Meichi’a: Aaah, but there are so many things that my day is poorer without. Good company, good food, good wine... but I would say most of all good music. One can survive a lonely day, a hungry day, and a sober day. Yet to live without a song? That is a day not worth living. 

Maeve: A good meal of course! A proper breakfast is the start to a proper day! It is why I make it my top priority to cook a good meal every morning I can!

Ganzorig: I go every day without the thing I need most. 

Which of the five senses would you say is your strongest?

Yuti: T-that’s a difficult one. I d-don’t think a-any of my s-senses are p-particularly more a-adept than others... I s-suppose I’d s-say hearing though. I h-have a h-habit of p-picking up t-tiny details sometimes.

Reri: Haw! I bet you do, Snowflake. I remember you beggin’ me an’ Natu to- .. what, what? Fine. Smell for me. Ya need a good sense of smell. S’the sense least likely ta betray ya. 

Rahya: ... N-none’a my sense are all that hot but if’n I gotta pick one I’mma gonna say taste. I can taste stuff real good!  Sayo: ... Touch. I am rather sensitive to most things. I can actually feel minute differences in texture. It’s a trait I am rather proud of. Sire says it is the mark of a graceful woman. .

Eyn: Sight.

Meichi’a: Why... hearing, of course. I can hear the smallest differences in pitch and tone... or in a charming lady’s voice. That oh-so-luscious timbre that signals the difference between love and lust, for example an-

Maeve: Mister Rouw, I fear you’re doing it again sir! That will be very embarrassing if you keep it up! My strongest sense is my sight, of course! You need good eyesight to catch the tiniest flaws, you do! 

Ganzorig: Sight. I can see many things from a great distance. 

Which of the five senses would you give up if you had to lose one?

Yuti: O-oh. Um. T-that’s a t-tough one... P-probably smell? I w-wouldn’t like not being able to s-smell b-but my other senses a-are m-more important to me. I’d h-hate to not be able to r-read or taste Lloire’s c-cooking o-or anything like that...

Reri: And that is why you’ll never be a good hunter, Snowflake. I’d give up sight myself. Yeah, I know what yer thinkin’, that’s crazy talk. But think about it. Way too easy ta be blinded. Ya can’t see in the dark anyway, not even if yer a Miqo’te.  But ya can always hear, always smell, always feel. And as for taste? Damned if I’m gonna give up booze. 

Rahya: N-not sight! Absolutely for sure all the way not sight! O-or feelin’ either. Or tastin’... I’m guessin’ I’m sayin’ smell too. I ain’t not likin’ the idea of not smellin’ but it also means I ain’t gonna smell nasty stuff either so that’s kinda a good thin’, right? Means I could go an’ hug a smelly chocobird an’ not even realize it was smelly! Sayo: .Ah... hearing, I would say. I have a elder relative who has lost their hearing and they say that it has changed the way they view the world. I would loathe to give up sunsets or the taste of tea however. Is that selfish perhaps? 

Eyn: Touch.

Meichi’a: ALL of my senses are near and dear to me! Why, how can one appreciate the beauty of the world without taking in all its colors? Though I suppose if I had to choose..smell as well. To lose the scent of roses and perfume is a tragedy... but to lose the beauty of music, or the silken caress of skin? Nay, my good sir, nay. 

Maeve: Oh fiddles and sticks! I really don’t know! They’re all so important! Do I really have to pick? Touch, I suppose. I could learn to go without it! Not without the rest!

Ganzorig: Touch. To not feel pain would make me stronger.  

How would your friends describe you?

Yuti: Ah... t-that’s... w-well. I-it depends on the friend I s-suppose. I’ve b-been called everything from s-stubborn to d-dependable t-to an idiot t-to... w-well, worse things. T-though most seems to c-call me kind. S-so maybe that?

Reri: *snort* Sexy, dangerous, clever, the best damn thing on two legs, that sorta thing. 

Rahya: .Um. I ain’t got many friends but mosta them keep callin’ me funny and sweet so I’mma guessin’ that’s what ya mean? I like bein’ funny though. S’nice ta see Aki smilin’ for reals. Sayo: Proper. At least I do hope so. I work very hard to uphold my proper traditions after all.

Eyn: Quiet.

Meichi’a: Quiet. Yes, I do think that is the most accurate answer you’ve given to date, my good woman! Myself? I suppose, if I must be truthful, they’d call me a rogue. Not one of those fellows with daggers but rather a devilish sort. Though I rather prefer being known as a raconteur myself.. or at least as charming and witty.

Maeve: I am told I am very reliable!

Ganzorig: Angry. They describe me as angry. They are right.

What did you want to be when you were small?

Yuti: W-well, I d-don’t really know. I w-wanted to b-be a healer may-

Reri: Okay, we’re cuttin’ off this lie right here. She wanted ta be a princess. With a big ol’ gown and sittin’ in a tower until a prince decides ta screw her and the whole lot. Used ta fantasize about it.

Yuti: M-mother!

Reri: Yer fault for lyin’, Snowflake. Me? What I am now. Hunter. It’s all I’ve wanted ta be.

Rahya: I ain’t really rememberin’ when I was small but I kinda rememberin’ wantin’ ta be a chocobird maybe? Or maybe a onna them dragons! Or somethin’... I ain’t so sure... 

Sayo: ..It is rather embarrassing but I dreamed of being a singer. One of the types who performs on stages. Sire was always rather annoyed by this and was quick to disabuse me of the notion it would be an appropriate role for a second-daughter. 

Eyn: Nothing.

Meichi’a: Ah... to be honest I dreamed of being a dragoon. Look, at the time they were very fashionable. Half the maidens in the land dreamed of getting their hands on the Azure Dragoon’s spear after all, and one must admit that they are dashing fellows once you get past all the points. Sadly I’ve not the lineage for it.  

Maeve: Why, what I am today! My family and their family and their family’s family has always been a factotum!

Ganzorig: A fighter. What else is there for a Dotharl? 

What’s the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love?

Yuti: D-do I have to answer? F-fine. I c-confessed to a m-man who was married to o-one woman and e-engaged to another. T-that is the craziest t-thing I’ve ever done in the name of love a-and it was one of the biggest disasters of m-my life.  

Reri: ... Bloody Hells, Snowflake. I’d almost be prouda ya if not for that last part. Too bad ya didn’t have what it took to follow through. Me? I ain’t ever been in ~love~ that way, but I’d say stayin’ put on that island for half my damn life is about the closest thing. 

Rahya: Um. I ain’t sure what ya mean by crazy. Almost everythin’ with loves seems crazy ta me but that’s kinda what makes it fun, yeah? Ya do all kinda weird stuff an’ sometimes ya see mogglemen or chocobirds or all kinda other stuff an’ ya have a good time with it! 

Sayo: I.... I have never done anything improper in the name of love. I fear I’ve never had the chance.

Eyn: I have never been in love.

Meichi’a: ... ah. You’re expecting some sort of playful answer from me? I’m afraid no such thing. The craziest thing I ever did in the name of love was to leave my love behind. 

Maeve: I once spent an entire week practicing a dance routine to attract the attention of a man! It didn’t work out but the dance was extremely fun! 

Ganzorig: Left my tribe. Came to this land.  

Do you collect anything? If so, what?

Yuti: I c-coll... y-yes, Mother, w-would you like to say something?  

Reri: Books. She collects books. Boooooks. Frankly, ya could just replace all her answers with the word ‘books’ an’ not much would change. As for me? Trophies. 

Rahya: Oh! Oh! Imma collectin’ my cards an’ those are the most important thing I bein’ collectin’ ta be honest. Though I sometimes like ta pick up little things here an’ there... s’kinda fun to collect pretty rocks n’ stuff. 

Sayo: I also favor collecting stones and gems. They can be rather beautiful when set in a collection. 

Eyn: Blades. 

Meichi’a: Songs, mostly. 

Maeve: Coins! I have a large collection of coins! You might think gil is the only type but you’d be wrong! There are ancient coins and coins from foreign lands and commemorative coins and... well, there’s a lot!

Ganzorig: It is a waste of time to collect meaningless objects. 

Who was your first crush?

Yuti: I’m n-not sure really. I h-had a crush on a f-few b-back home... a-and one of my h-healing instructors but h-he was m-more of an idle fancy... I s-suppose my f-first serious crush would be C’lest t-though...

Reri: If ya mean the first guy I wanted ta screw, it was this nice-arsed Hyur in my first mercenary band. Shame the fella wasn’t into ladies but I gave it my best shot. His loss if he’d rather- what the Hells ya mean if I go further yer gonna edit it out? 

Rahya: W-why ar all ya folks crushin’ people? I thought Miss Yuti was nice but she been crushin’ folk left n’ right?!  

Sayo: Miss Rahya, a crush is a romantic fancy for an individual. They did not mean it literally.

Rahya: Oh. Um. Ooooh. I ain’t sure why yer callin’ it crushin’. That makes it sound awful unpleasant. Like yer bein’ squished and squashed an’ not like a slime. Oh. Right. Answerin’. Um... Aasifa, I’m figurin’? I had folks with crushes onna me but I ain’t really sure I felt it back none before Aasifa. 

Sayo: I... ah... i-it is not proper for a flower to get crushes. So... i did not! Really. Perhaps I’ve had some passing fondness for a few people but never a crush. 

Eyn: Nobody.

Meichi’a: My dear Sophia, of course. Who else but her?

Maeve: M’nave Tia! He had the cutest ear wiggles he did! 

Ganzorig: I have had only one love. The only thing I crush is enemies.   

Do you or your family have a “motto” – spoken or unspoken?

Yuti: Oh by the Twelve did you have to ask this question?

Reri: Damn right we do. Well, I do at least, seeing that Snowflake barely wants to admit we’re related mosta the time. That is “Don’t be a Twelvesdamned baby.” That or the four Fs but that’s more my persona motto. 

Rahya: Ffff? I ain’t sure what that means but it ain’t make a lot of sense ta me. I ain’t got no family so I ain’t got no mot toe though. What’s a mot toe anyway? It sounds kinda gross, like some kinda sickness.”

Sayo: “Family Always.” It is a very important saying to our clan.

Eyn: No.

Meichi’a: No particularly that I recall. My family wasn’t much for mottos really.

Maeve: "To serve is to thrive!” It’s the motto of my entire line!

Ganzorig: ... I am Dotharl. You know our ways. 

What do you do to keep fit?

Yuti: W-well, I d-do a lot of r-running around. T-though I also g-get up in the morning and d-do the sword exercises that D-Durga showed me. I-it’s a good way to wake up.

Reri: Get up in the morning, go for a jog, do some stretches, crunches, pushups... what, ya thought I got this fantastic body by sittin’ around? Hells no. I take my workout seriously. I intend ta be drop dead sexy when I’m eighty.

Rahya: I ain’t really doin’ any special exercises or nothin’. I like walkin’ and climbin’ though!

Sayo: My family practices a form.of meditative martial arts. Every morning I awaken and perform my katas in order to properly start the day. I also enjoy swimming. 

Eyn: I fight.

Meichi’a: I am blessed to have the metabolism and body to need relatively little work to maintain it. Though I do favor a good hike or other, more vigorous types of exercise. Yes? You know what I m.. oh, only the mother does? Well, I feel rather ashamed right now. Please stop winking at me ma’am. 

Maeve: I wake up and set to a good cleaning! Cleaning keeps your body fit and your house well maintained! 

Ganzorig: Martial practice keeps me fit. It is all I need.

 If you could live somewhere else from where you live now, where would it be?

Yuti: T-the Far East for certain. S-somewhere like Yanxia o-or Kugane. T-they’re beautiful places. T-though I’m quite happy here in Eorzea.

Reri:  I’d like ta live in Thavnair. Seems like a Hells of a place. Good huntin’, good explorin’, and some o’ the hottest men and women in the world. . 

Rahya: I’m real happy where I live right now ta be honest. I ain’t sure. I wanna go ta the Far East with Aasifa someday so maybe that counts? 

Sayo: I...have not considered it. I suppose Eorzea is a beautiful land... but I shouldn’t be saying that as if I was prepared to stay. It’s improper.  .

Eyn: The New World.

Meichi’a: Ah! To live somewhere else... I fear I wouldn’t be happy with that. I prefer to stay on the move. To visit, certainly, but to live? No thank you. Not unless perhaps I found a particularly charming delight. 

Maeve: I would love to live in the Far East! I’ve been to Kugane before and it’s beautiful. So clean and refined and dignified!

Ganzorig: I would live in the Steppes again if I could. . 

If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

Yuti: Um. Um.  “Contents Under Pressure” maybe? 

Reri: "Danger.” It’s all you need yeah? What, ya want me to say “Slippery When Wet?” Ya wish!

Rahya: Um. I ain’t.... I mean... “Don’t Poke” maybe? Bein’ like... I ain’t likin’ bein’ poked? ... I ain’t really scary ‘enough ta get a warnin’ label.

Sayo: W-what sort of question...? Ah... “Do not touch” I suppose. .

Eyn:  I will kill you.

Meichi’a: ... I-is that a warning label or a threat?. Well. Um. Yes. Mine would say “May Cause Dizziness” because... well! *motions to self, smiles brightly.* 

Maeve: ... Ignoring that! Mine would say “Caution!” That’s a good safe one, right? And all-purpose too! 

Ganzorig: Why would a warning need a label? Once you are given a warning you should not forget. 

How do you sleep? With clothes, fitfully or peacefully, lots of pillows?

Yuti: W-well... I l-like my pajamas... I-used to have a g-gown but I k-kind of shifted away from that and I like h-having a l-lot of pillows o-or.. um.. s-something soft to hold. I’m a b-bit of a fitful sleeper though.

Reri:  Somethin’ soft, eh’? Me? Clothes get in the way. I sleep just fine tho’. Pillows ain’t important. Either I’m sleepin’ or I’m screwin’ and pillows don’t add too much to either. 

Rahya: Um.. I kinda been sleepin’ in whatever I’m wearin’ usually. I gotta nightgown but I kinda get too tired ta put it on. I like a buncha pillows though! Bunches an’ bunches, like Aasifa’s got.

Sayo: W-with clothes, of course! A nightgown. What if someone wandered in in the middle of the night? I do not enjoy overindulging in pillows. It feels... needless. 

Eyn:  Pajamas. 

Meichi’a:  YOU wear pajamas? By the Weaver’s threads I must see tha- ... that is enough with the glaring, madam! Myself? I favor boxers and company. Simple enough, yes? 

Maeve: A warm fluffy gown and lots of pillows!

Ganzorig: I sleep where I sleep. 

Real quick, before you all leave. It was recently Valentione’s Day here is Eorzea. How did you feel about that holiday?

Yuti: ... I f-felt rather happy about it, t-truth be told. It was the first Valentoine’s Day I a-actually had w-where I could p-properly celebrate.

Reri: Was a needless pink wasta time. I didn’t bother. Who wastes their time with that trash? Oh right, you do, Snowflake. Did you n’ Tyr waste yer time chasin’ moogles? Hah!

Rahya: It was the BES’ time ever! We saw mogglemen an’ we ran around a maze an’ we got chairs but the chairs were all broken so we kinda had ta sit together ta make ‘em work but I didn’t mind that much ‘tall. I ain’t wantin’ ta threaten no poms though... seemed awful mean.

Sayo: It... looked certainly very beautiful and the couples seemed very happy. 

Eyn: I did not participate.

Meichi’a: Ah... it is a wonderful time of year. So many lasses whose hearts are aflutter. I encountered this simply charming raven-haired lass who asked me to go through the maze with her. Why, those moogles even said we were destined lovers! ... and then we tried the fortune telling. Would you believe it said there was no chance? And my darling A’vira, she took it to heart and went off with some Elezen fellow!. At least the bars offered cheap drink that day..

Maeve: I was working but it looked like a lot of fun!

Ganzorig: ... It was very pink. .

As always, thank you all for answering our readers’ questions. I think next round we’ll have another theme. Until then!

[elane-in-the-shadows]

Red Queen Fan Fiction - Blood Curse part 12

Find this on wattpad

chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 3

chapter 4

chapter 5

chapter 6

chapter 7

chapter 8

chapter 9

chapter 10

chapter 11

chapter 12

chapter 13

chapter 14

chapter 15

chapter 16

chapter 17

chapter 18

chapter 19

chapter 20

chapter 21

chapter 22

chapter 23

chapter 24

chapter 25

chapter 26

chapter 27

chapter 28

chapter 29

Final chapter

Gisa POV

Cameron looks cute with her hair open, positively pretty, and I tell her so. She laughs, slightly embarrassed but also … something else. She lowers her eyes to face me, excitingly slow. She smirks after a breathless second and I do the same, hoping to convey the message, “I like you,” without voicing it.

Maybe I should. Clear words can be such a relief. But I just lay my hand over hers and the way she avoids glancing at them although she’s obviously touched in more than one way says a lot. Rejoice prickles inside of me.

“Though it gets annoying after a few days,” Cameron says, tugging at a curl. “Especially when, you know … “ She sighs deeply.

My mood drops from soaring to crawling. Her smile vanishes and familiar feelings wash over us; finality for her, dread for me. She’ll go back to fighting, like too many of my family.

“Hey. Gisa,” she nudges me and I startle. Her expression softens again. “I’m not – well. They asked us who’d go to New Town and I volunteered. I can see my parents again and do something for the other techies.”

I step away, my eyes turned to the ground. I shouldn’t sulk like this, and when Cameron touches my shoulder, I feel even more embarrassed and selfish.

“I’m sorry to leave you alone again, so soon after,” Cameron says. I nod. Of course, she does as she must.

“Good luck,” I wish her; she hesitates to reply. I don’t wait and simply hug her. She’s surprised but embraces me back after a second. “You’ll come back,” I demand.

“For sure,” she whispers into my hair. “You got to meet my family after all.”

Heat rises in my cheeks, warring with suppressed tears. “Oh,” I say, “oh.”

Cameron clears her throat, it has been a slip. I look up into her face. “I didn’t know we’ve come that far already,” I say. “But I’m glad?”

Her smile emerges slowly but it’s certainly beaming. “Me too. And you know, Rafe comes with me, because an electricon in New Town? Assured to create a mess.”

I pull away a bit, rise to my toes, and kiss her cheek. “Or sure to bring you a quick victory.”

“Right,” she agrees, then hugs me again.

As if the general mood on the base hasn’t been serious enough, the returnees from Corvium and the – hopefully decisive – battles looming ahead turn it positively grave. Everyone trains harder, most of all Mare. Not only her ability but her body as well, and she even eats more to build more muscles. Tramy, Bree and Diana advise her on this, as they occupy each other with more planning and discussions. Meanwhile I stick to Kilorn, Cameron, and her brother Morrey. Sometimes I accompany Lacey again, but with Diana’s return, her restrictions seem to have lessened, allowing her to become more involved. Tramy doesn’t bring her to our house anymore but doesn’t meet her less often as far as I notice. He’s as in love as before, if I interpret his glances and expressions right. And our eyes meet frequently when the family sits together.

Each of us copes in their own ways. In the evenings, Diana visits with Clara when she has the time. Dad enters Bree’s and Mare’s war talks while he avoids the certain royal topic carefully. Everyone does this around Mare, maybe apart from Mom, Kilorn and Diana in more private conversations. Thus, Mom fusses on the whole family, similar to before, Dad supports her, Bree and Tramy tell stories, Mare tries to fit in and I keep my hands busy and watch; taking Kilorn’s advice to crack jokes to lighten the mood, although not with as savage ones as his.

I live well with the illusion, it’s helpful, and nice, to feel joy and relatedness every now and then. Although I can’t look at Clara without thinking that Shade’s not here to dote on her with pride or that Mare’s lost any light-heartedness she ever had.

Every night I expect her to approach me, to hug me, to start crying. But she doesn’t. She’d learned to sleep alone, she claimed the first night after her return. I offered to listen to and help her, in awkward words, which I repeat sometimes – but I don’t ask her about it. I never know what to do besides stating my readiness.

Until Mare starts to talk by herself while I’ve no idea what’s made the difference. I can’t ponder on that. “The worst thing,” she begins, “is that I know Tiberias truly loves me. Yet he did that, and it’s like he never really knew me. While the same applies to me, doesn’t it? I believed he wouldn’t go back to his throne, so did I ever fully know him?”

The words fill our room with a gloomy heaviness, so my lack of an answer doesn’t become disturbing. Even though I feel like I have to say something to comfort her, I can only move closer to her, careful and inch by inch, until she leans against me, with a pillow in her arms.

“I hate the lies, the illusions,” she mumbles. “But I have to go on with them, until … “

“You don’t have to,” I blurt out; fortunately, Mare isn’t bothered. She inclines her head but doesn’t agree. Of course not.

“Maybe you should talk to Kilorn again, because I’m so bad at comforting you,” I say.

It startles her. “Gisa, you said nothing wrong!”

I wave off. “Believe me, he’s a true master, compared to me. But you know that, don’t you? I tried so often to … provoke him into a, umm …” Mare stares at me curiously. “But well, he never exploited the situation – to my chagrin.”

Mare sneers. “I’d hope so, anything else would’ve made him a scoundrel.”

“Oh, he’d never. Not that I care anymore … “ I sigh.

“You don’t?” The corners of her mouth twitch. What luck.

“No, as I … might like someone else now,” I tell her, suddenly eager to lift the secret.

“Do I know – “

“Her? Yes, it’s Cameron.” Her amusement, built up so carefully, dims for a moment.

“She’ll go to her family soon, to stir unrest in New Town,” she explains like I don’t know this already.

“For sure.” I shrug. “And Rafe goes with her.”

“Then I’ll be the only eletricon here.” Mare looks away. “And sooner or later, I’ll leave as well.”

I take a sharp breath. “When?”

She shrugs, I wait. “Difficult to say. ‘Timing is essential,’ Farley claims all the time” She turns it into a silly impersonation but she’s never been good at telling jokes. I laugh anyway. 

The next days are stressful and busy, hardly offering a calm time before the storm. While Cameron, Rafe and a handful more Newbloods and operatives develop a course of action for New Town, another regiment prepares to accompany Volo Samos on his campaign against the Lakelands. Unlike the usual skirmishes, forages and sparring fights, this hits me harder and unforeseen, reminding me of the war that’s already come. I start to pester Diana about it, to reassure myself through information. It unsettles her at first, she hesitates to talk about it. Although neither mission is a secret here. For some reasons, she agreed to the Samos cooperation quickly, and it’s only volunteers who are sent to the Rift. They’re mostly Lakelanders, with her father among them.

“So, what do you think about the book?” I add one time.

She frowns as she figures out my meaning. What a terrible operative I’d make. Despite my initial resolve, I’ve procrastinated asking her about the old logbook from Monfort eternally. I don’t believe Lacey hid it from her. But thousands of Silvers killed on purpose by the spreading diseases is disturbing to imagine. Was that a good deed? Or wrong? How would a Silver like Lacey judge this –

Diana hushes me before I explain myself in the middle of the street. “Lacey Ventos is a good operative,” she says. “Well-connected, quite committed.” You needn’t doubt her, she leaves unsaid. As well as, unlike others.

“Her friends at Maven’s court are a main asset for us, bleeding intelligence to us even the twins can’t find.” Diana chews on her lips as if this intelligence is something gnawing on her. “Gisa,” she adds, “this book that you two found is very valuable. Just wish we could use its information on greater scale…”

“Diana?” I tilt my head in surprise.

“Well, we won’t do the same thing, of course. But we can compare the political developments in Monfort and project them on Norta and work out whether Monfort tells us everything. By now I’m almost certain the current Monfort government had nothing to do with this. It was more than twenty years ago. For example, Davidson was still in Norta at the time it happened.”

“And do you trust him?” I ask.

She cocks her head. “What do you want to know about him?”

“Just curious. You’re usually relying on yourself the most.”

She cackles. “You aren’t wrong,” she admits. “But difficult times demand difficult measures.”

Cameron and I steal away the last evening before she leaves and I help her re-braiding her hair. A storm rages outside, the sky burning bright with jade and amethyst lightning. It’s Mare and Rafe calling forth that storm for a last time, because they’re stronger together. They turn the sky into a loud and feral beast that obeys them, reminding me and everyone else of the storms of war to come. In a moment when their lightning illuminates the room, Cameron and I share our first kiss.

More weeks pass while Diana continues to wait for the right timing. It frustrates Mare who trains harder still, until she commands the storms as well as the small electrical gadgets in our house. Sometimes I can feel her invisible current buzzing on my skin. Stupid static electricity. Yet the training leaves her too tired to do much else. She likes the distraction, since from what I’ve put together, her next battle will be alongside Cal – who she calls Tiberias now – probably against King Maven himself.

Diana leads several smaller missions and skirmishes in the meantime, sometimes with my brothers or Kilorn coming with her. Mom always scolds her when she comes back and Diana merely listens calmly, yet resolved. But I notice the letters she gives to Dad for safekeeping before she sets out every time. “They’re for Clara,” he tells me after I’ve asked for the fifth time.

The Piedmont fall arrives beautifully although hardly anyone can spare time to contemplate or admire it. Not even me, usually quickly entranced by rich colours. Nature is nothing compared to hearing from Cameron or the soldiers fighting in the Lakelands, or seeing my family remaining safe.

We’re together on the first anniversary of Shade’s death, with all of us in tears sooner or later. The sad date is followed by Clara’s half-birthday which we celebrate two days before Mare’s 19th one.

The two parties are needed as a goodbye, since the period of waiting finally ends. While Diana heads into her own direction with strong determination, Mare and the majority of the Newbloods and the Guard’s forces are called to enter a full-scale attack on Archeon.

 @clarafarleybarrow @calliopexclio @mareshmallow @lilyharvord @inopinion @redqueenfandom @ssingerqueen @spookysamos @hannaharies @runexandra @iris-cygnets @breebarrcw @red-queen-united @asewhj @redqueenforever @calmareforever

[scottyunfamous]

#RunningWilde Ch. 49 | Love Gun (Part II)

Wild beach Can't control these wild things Can't you see you're drowning? Tryna tame a wild beast, I'm a wild beach

-Wild Beach

Doja Cat

Days of trials and nights of unrest finally forced Ava and Aiden to succumb to slumber, putting them under as if they’d been drugged by the sweet high of uninterrupted dreams, holding them close as they lay entangled in the sky, holding onto each other.

Hours later, a brisk knock on the wall and clearing of a throat jolted Aiden upright. Impulse found him with his hand under the mattress one moment, and his gun in his hand aimed at The Maid the next. His teeth were clenched tightly together, and his bare chest heaved and sank as he emitted harshly audible breaths.

She stiffened and held up her hands, “Mr Michaels?”

He blinked sleep from his eyes and inspected his surroundings with dark scrutiny before he decided that it was safe enough to lower the gun. Instead of slipping it back under the mattress, he put it in his lap. “My apologies,” his tone was gruff, “What is it?”

The Maid lowered her hands but edged slightly back into the entry way, “We’re an hour away from Montego Bay, sir. The captain asked that you and Mrs Michaels get ready to prepare for landing.”

He looked down at Ava, naked and lost to her dreams, next to him. He pulled the duvet higher to cover her body and exhaled slowly. The heavy thudding in his chest gradually softened and slowed.

“I’ll get your breakfast ready.”

“Thank you,” he said more personably, “We’ll be right there.”

The Maid nodded sharply and exited faster than she’d entered.

Aiden dropped his head in his hands and exhaled again, louder this time, “Fucking ‘ell, bruv,” he murmured into his chest. He placed his gun on the bedside table and snuggled back down in the bed. He wrapped his arms around Ava, buried his face in the elegant curve of her neck and breathed her in. His heartbeat returned to normal. He kissed her behind her ear, then her cheek, “Wake up, Ava-Marie.”

She groaned and turned her face into the pillow.

He hummed a slow warm smile and kissed the below the clap of her collar, at nape of her neck, “We’re landing in Mo’ Bay soon. I need to talk you through a few things before we do.”

She arched her brow and peeked at him lazily with one eye, “Already?”

“Yes. Come on,” he got up, pulled back the covers and playfully spanked her still rosy bottom. She opened both eyes and smirked at him. “Meet for breakfast in ten.”

 *

 Freshly showered and wrapped in black satin robes, Aiden and Ava took their positions around the dining table, with Aiden at the head and Ava sat on his left, her back straight, fingers locked together and muscles tensed as the Maid silently laid out stacks of pancakes, fruits, syrup, herbal tea and black coffee. It wasn’t until the Maid wheeled her cart out that she finally loosened. She smiled softly at Aiden, “So what did you want to talk to me about?”

He didn’t smile back but held his hand out for her plate, “You need to relax around them,” he said sternly, “The family especially, or at least to appear as if you are. Rigidness shows fear. Relaxed is sure of itself. Relaxed is powerful.”

“They’re intimidating.”

“People can only intimidate you if you allow them to. In times like that, it is imperative that you remember who you are.”

She dropped her head, “I’m even not sure who that is right now.”

“You are Heaven Michaels.” He said her name in a way that carried a different sort of weight than her original one did. Like it made her a different person altogether. Ava-Marie Lockewood, daughter of a nightclub giant, had the kind of power that could get her invited to the most elite parties and reservations at the finest restaurants. But Heaven Michaels…she was the daughter of a king pin. The wife of a drug lord. Heaven Michaels had stolen a car and burned a man alive.

She sank back in the chair and unlocked her fingers.

“Better. How many pancakes do you want?”

“Are they vegan?” she asked eyeing the steaming pile of thick fluffy golden discs and suddenly realised how hungry she was.

He rolled his eyes “Yes, Ava-Marie.”

“Three…no. Four.”

He deposited four on her plate, “Next lesson; let your first answer be your only answer. Indecisiveness is not the trait of a leader. You may only change it when the information presented to you is altered. It’s okay to take time to mull things over to be sure of your decisions. But if you must think about what decision to make, take no longer than thirty seconds. Fruit?”

“Blueberries and bananas.”

She watched him spoon the fruit on top of her stack and wished she’d also asked for strawberries but thought better of it for the time being.  They would be landing in Jamaica in less than an hour and he was clearly preparing her to step into her official role as his other half. His wife, Heaven Michaels.

‘What would Mrs Michaels do?’, she wondered. In order to achieve the position she truly gunned for, it made sense that she should behave as if she were truly his wife, and not like they were just a just bunch of documents Mighty forged to protect her identity and a bargain bound by lust.

“Tea or coffee?” she reached for his cup.

He arched his brow and the corners of his stern mouth, lifted, “What are you doing?”

“Serving my husband.” She met his bemused gaze, “Tea or coffee?”

She’d never referred to him as her husband before. Aiden watched her for a moment. “Coffee. Black. No sugar.” He went back to her plate, “Syrup?”

“Yes please. I like it_”

“Drizzled all over in a social media worthy fashion. Yes, dear wife,” his eyes flicked up at her from under his lashes and his voice came huskier, “I know what you like.”

She shifted in her seat, her body comparable to the syrup he poured -sticky, sweet and ready to be devoured. She watched him as he expertly arranged it across her plate, the way he’d observed her do back at his safe house the first time they had breakfast together.

“Is it to your liking?”

She took her eyes off him and looked at the plate, her teeth holding her smile from becoming too wide, “You really do pay attention to everything.”

“Yes. I advise you to start doing the same. It’s important that you know how to take care of yourself. I won’t always be with you.”

“Oh? Where will you be?” she poured his coffee.

“Taking care of the side of the business that you shall have no part in,” he said firmly.

She put the cafetière down, “That’s not the deal we made.”

“I said I’d teach you, Ava-Marie, and I will.”

“How will I know if your lessons have taken effect if you don’t allow me to make use of them?”

“The opportunity will arise. You may not be so eager to participate when it does. Until then, I’m not purposely going to put you in harms way.”

“I won’t have you coddling me, Aiden.”

“You won’t have me?” he arched his brow. He leant in closer to her, “You think you’re bad now, yeah?” Brixton was present in his manner and she was unsure how to respond. The lilting stop-start of his South London tongue had a way of making his words more threatening. She edged back in her seat but lifted her chin. He came closer still, his voice low, gruff and ghetto, “Don’t think coz you jacked some old man and set an already dying man on fire, that you’re about this life. If a man like me ran up on you, ready to dun your dance, what are you, miss sheltered rich girl, gonna do about it?”

She clenched her jaw and glared at him.

“Exactly, nothing!”

“That’s the whole point of you teaching me, Aiden!” she snapped back, vaulting herself into his face. “What do you think I made this deal with you for? To sit at home and play housewife?”

He closed his eyes and inhaled heavily through his nose. When he opened his eyes, they were hardened lumps of coal and his pistol was pressed against her temple.

She stilled.

“Do something then!”

[theherblifeblog]

Spotlight Series: Amie Jay of Mommy's Inside Voice

Amie Jay is just like any other woman out here just trying to live her life and love her family. The difference though, is that she'll happily show you her dorky side, her vulnerable side and sometimes even her angry mommy side. Amie is the writer behind the wildly inspiring and downright ridiculously funny blog Mommy's Inside Voice. She shares stories of raising three little boys and of her sweet marriage with her husband who grows medical marijuana for legal cannabis patients. 

Recently, Amie came out to her audience as a cannabis advocate and although she was worried she would offend some readers she tells us that she hasn't seen a whole lot of pushback and that in general her community - made up primarily of mothers - has been nothing short of gracious, curious and accepting.

We think that its great that women like Amie are using their platforms for healthy, honest dialogue, not just about cannabis but to help show all of us that we're all dealing with challenges and that we will all be alright. 

 Visit Amie on her website or here on her Facebook Page  or here on her hilarious Instagram feed. 

How did you get involved in the cannabis industry? 

I met my husband online. I was living in Calgary, he was living on the coast. We chatted for a few months before he decided to hop a plane to see if "this" was as real as we thought it was.  Spoiler alert... Sparks flew, guys.  My new hottie boyfriend was a successful musician, and I was jazzed!  I moved out to the coast shortly after meeting in person, with an acceptance into the University of Victoria. A few days after moving in, he took me for a little drive, wanting to show me where he works. I was picturing a recording studio. Or a lounge. Instead, he walked me into a great big government regulated medical marijuana grow.  As a sheltered farm girl from the prairies, I was raised believing that "pot" was a dirty drug for lazy people. Obviously realizing that the man that I loved was not only a "pothead" but growing it was how he made his living, I was forced to confront my own opinions on marijuana.  He helped me open my mind up to the possibility that what I grew up believing wasn't factual.  With his help, my own research and spending time around the plants myself, I began to realize what a criminal LIE I was told. WE have been told.

Tell us a little bit about your website

I write a blog. I make people laugh. I speak hard truths, and I have a passion for connecting people. I want to open minds, eliminate judgment and encourage people to embrace themselves for who and what they are. Each voice, unique and authentic, is SO needed. Especially in our world right now.

What time does your day typically start and what does a normal day look like to you?

My day starts whenever my children come and poke my face, usually tattling on a brother for stealing a Lego or asking for cereal on repeat until my brain has been jolted enough to respond.

What is your vision for your company going forward? 

My blog was a journey of passion. It was an outlet for a young Mom of 3 little boys under 3. I was drowning in my newfound responsibility, struggling to figure out who I was as a person, not just Mom.  I had no thoughts for what it would turn into. I honestly doubted whether my own friends or family would read it. It was just for me.  Once it was live, I realized how desperately we all need the realism. My hard, ugly, vulnerable truths were making people realize that they are ok. That there's nothing wrong with feeling anything but perfect. That we are literally all living parallel lives with minor differences. That we really all have pretty much the same goal...to be loved. To be safe. To be healthy, and to be happy.  Now that Mommy's Inside Voice has become bigger than I had anticipated, I'm just riding the wave of where it takes me! I'm still a work-at-home Mom to 3 little beasts, and they still have my number one priority. But I think that I can use my platform to spread a really important message. No matter what happens with this "career", I want that to maintain as my motive.  Having "followers" makes me feel highly uncomfortable. I am no different than any of you. I am just an ordinary person. I want friends. I want connection. That's what I'm trying to build. Acceptance. Of ourselves. Of others. Understanding. Empathy. Open-minded growth. Empowerment. Community.  That is my vision.

What would an ideal post-prohibition society look like to you?

EDUCATION! We have been denied basic FACTS on an incredible medicine for way too long. Knowing firsthand the power and potential of marijuana, I'm really hoping that the government switches to sanity and funds in-depth studies on it.  We deserve to know. We deserve to feel comfortable exploring a natural alternative, without fear of judgement from those that are ignorant to the truth. That has been a consequence of the wrongful prohibition, and it is the responsibility of the powers that be to reverse it and equip all of us with the opportunity to utilize it. Parents need to be advised on how to speak to their children about it, given facts to share so that we can all move forward feeling enlightened and secure. Safe medicine. Newly regulated pesticides and fungicides that lead to quality product. Craft markets that give consumers choices on medicine and whom they want to support.  SMART technology that keeps people on the roads SAFE without incriminating wrongfully.  Ya know...I could go on and on. Such an exciting time!

What was your first experience with cannabis like? 

I remember one of my best friends was a HUGE fan of cannabis. He was a regular user, raved about how much it helped him and how he way preferred it to winding down with a glass of wine like I did.  I decided to let him pop my green cherry.  We equipped ourselves with a ridiculous amount of snacks, several frozen pizzas, and lots of water.  I didn't realize that, as a first-time toker, I needed to go SLOW.  I got out of my freaking MIND high.  I was convinced that the painting on the wall was moving. I thought he had laced it with something. I made him take me home, I got butt naked, climbed into bed but couldn't sleep. I kept waking myself up because I was paranoid that my friend was still there and was going to see me naked.  It was a terrifying experience! It left me wondering about the sanity of weed-enthusiasts. Ya'll are crazy.

Tell us about some of the challenges you face working with cannabis

I have recently decided to go public with my involvement with cannabis.  A vast majority of the readers on my page are mothers. A lot of them American.  I have to try to keep in mind that the headspace and opinion that is widely engaged here in British Columbia isn't adopted in most other places. Weed is still highly shameful. It's still viewed as dirty and for "drug addicts". I knew that coming out about my own experiences with cannabis, I would lose some people. But to me, staying quiet about what I know was only fueling the fire of ignorance.

What are some solutions you've found? 

Accepting that not everyone is going to understand you and your choices is a must. That goes for everything in life, not just the cannabis industry. Hoping that speaking intelligently about my relationship with it, how it has helped me both physically and emotionally, the miraculous medical advancements that I have seen firsthand (through my husband's cannabis consulting)...I'm hoping that it urges more people to do their own research. I don't care if you're not interested in using it. I don't care if it's "not your thing" or you don't like it. All I want is for you to understand it, and let other people do what they need to do.

What is one thing you wish everyone knew about cannabis? 

I wish everyone knew the science behind cannabis. I wish they understood how it interacts with the body's endocannabinoid system, how it heals, reversing both symptoms and cause. It isn't just to get "high". It isn't to escape. It is a genuinely potent medicine that interacts seamlessly with the human body!

What is your favorite way to consume cannabis?

I take Charlotte's Web CBD oil almost every day. I find that it really helps me manage my anxiety and pain that I experience from endometriosis. If I'm having a particularly hard day, I sneak off and take a puff or 2 from my vaporizer. I'm not someone that likes to feel "out of it", so the vaporizer is a perfect solution for me! It leaves me feeling relaxed and happy, without putting me on the couch.

Concentrate or flower? Why?

Flower! For the reasons I listed above ;)

Do you think cannabis legalization will change the world for the better? Why?

I think that, if done properly, it has the potential to change the world. If education is highlighted and valued, if people understand it and use it responsibly, it can shape the future. Eliminating the need for harmful and addictive pharmaceuticals, providing a safe alternative to alcohol. Inducing relaxation, creativity, connection and interaction. All things that we need right now. Honestly...how cool would Trump be if he started hitting the bong? Not cool, but not as much of a dick, I'm pretty sure.

What advice would you offer to another woman who is looking to get into the industry?

Work hard! Don't be intimidated. Hold yourself with confidence and let your voice be heard. There IS space for you. You ARE needed. Being open, speaking with intelligence and integrity. You're a fuckin' rockstar and we need badass feminine voices ringing loudly in shifting times.  Get it girl.

[alamante]

Image copyright BBC / Oliver de Ros

El Salvador has one of the highest rates of murder in the world, according to the UN, driven in no small part by gang culture. It is often the women in El Salvador’s communities who bear the brunt of the threats and violence these gangs bring – and now the gangs have found a new way to intimidate and control them.

An unexpected knock at the door turned Damary into new mother, instantaneously.

One evening, she was having dinner in front of the television, when a visitor turned up at her home. The 23-year-old put aside her bowl of beans and rushed to open the front door.

Standing there, Damary found a man, a gang-member, holding a baby wrapped in green rags.

He was almost a child himself, barely 16 years old.

Thin and tanned, he passed Damary a phone: “Someone wants to talk to you.”

On the other end of the line, she recognised the voice of a local gang member, who’d been jailed less than a year earlier.

“You know whose baby she is, so make sure you take good care of her,” the gang member threatened her.

“If anything happens to child, we’ll be watching you,”

The girl in her arms was so small, Damary thought she couldn’t be more than five days old.

She went back to her living room without asking any more questions, sat down and started to cry; she’d just “had” a baby.

Her mother, who had been putting Damary’s three-year-old daughter down for the night, came out of the bedroom. They talked about how they were going to cope with two children and no work.

Her mother told Damary to resign herself to her fate – best to look at the new “daughter” as a blessing.

And with this, they went to bed.

Image copyright BBC / Oliver de Ros

Image caption The children left behind have no official documentation. The new ‘mothers’ often don’t even know their real names or how old they are

Back when she was a mother of one, Damary could at least manage. Her own mum helped out and Damary could still go to school.

But with two girls, things changed. Money was too tight; it made sense to drop out from school and tend to the children instead.

Time went by. Damary’s new daughter is now two and has become one of the many children who run around, play and cry in this poor community of San Salvador.

She calls Damary “mama”, but her life has never been free from uncertainty. There is still no official paperwork for the child, no birth registration. No-one even knows where she was born.

Damary made up a name and a birthday, so she could pass the girl off as her own. She still doesn’t know how she’ll manage when she has to enrol her at school, or if she ever needs to go to hospital – or what she’ll say if the authorities ever demand an explanation.

Damary makes no distinctions between her daughters; she loves and cares for them equally. She combs their hair, buys them second-hand clothes and sings them to sleep. They look different but, to her, they are the same.

Donald Trump’s administration has been pursuing vigorous deportation policies, withdrawing El Salvador migrants’ right to remain in the US earlier this year.

Hundred of thousand migrants face possible deportation from the US.

Gangs have been a feature of El Salvador since the end of the civil war, almost 30 years ago.

Analysts say the epidemic of gang violence in El Salvador was fuelled in the 1990s by the US deportations of MS-13 gang members.

One migrant living in the US state of Maryland told the New York Times that “the [Central American] country is infested with gangs”.

“The moment we arrived, they would come to our door asking for money,” said Noe Duarte, who runs two small businesses cleaning and painting homes.

“And if we didn’t give it to them, we’d be killed.”

Critics of Mr Trump’s decision noted that the US State Department’s own guidance referred to El Salvador as home to “one of the highest homicide levels in the world”.

“El Salvador is simply unprepared, economically and institutionally, to receive such an influx, or to handle their 192,700 US children, many of them at the perfect age for recruitment or victimisation by gangs,” the aid agency the International Crisis Group said last month.

Damary and I are chatting in a playground when her phone rings.

She walks away and comes back a couple of minutes later, a forced smile on her face.

“A phone call from prison?” I ask.

“Yes,” she says, looking from side to side. “I thought we’d been spotted, but it’s just a call to check up on the girl.”

She often gets phone calls from the gang member in prison. Like the cuckoo bird, he relies on others to raise his young – by manipulating a host to take care of its offspring as if it were its own.

Scientist believe, if the substitute mother bird tries to remove the unwanted baby cuckoo, the parent cuckoo will destroy the nest or harm the other chicks in revenge.

The cuckoo is never far from the host nest – ready to remind the “carer” of her imposed obligations.

The Cuckoo is watching Damary.

Gangs in El Salvador hold great power over poor communities such as this one and every time they pick a “nanny”, her whole family’s life is affected.

The first time I visited this neighbourhood was in early 2016.

I can’t reveal its real name – it would endanger the lives of the women who have been telling me their stories – so we’ll call it “Barrio 18”.

Image copyright BBC / Oliver de Ros

Image caption These are not remote communities; police patrolling the streets. And yet, the gangs are in control

This is not a remote or isolated community. In fact, this place is not even far from the capital, San Salvador.

Police are often seen on the streets. Soldiers are on patrol here, regularly stopping and searching young men. At night there are raids and sometimes guns go off.

It would seem the authorities are in control – but they’re not.

“Barrio 18” belongs to the Barrio 18 Revolutionaries gang. They control who comes, who goes, who pays protection money and, ultimately, who lives and dies.

The gang rules the community with an iron fist, deciding what clothes young people should wear, which school they should go to, what music can be played on the street and when people have to stop drinking alcohol of an evening.

These are unwritten rules but anyone living here is advised to learn them fast or pay the price.

Those who refuse, or get too close to the police or with rival gangs, don’t live to tell the tale.

The gang is everywhere; the powerful “capos” are young guys – some still teenagers. Some, like the Cuckoo, are in prison.

Everybody knows who they are and people do as they’re told.

‘My mum is praying’

Just like Damary, Maria also became a “mother” overnight, although the child brought to her wasn’t a baby, but an eight-year-old boy.

On Saturdays, Maria used to help out at an evangelical church. They had a children’s group, where the kids would have some fun, learn a little and eat sweets.

Andres was one of the children in the group.

One day, no-one came to pick him up at the end of the session. She offered to drop him home, but when they arrived, there was no answer.

They called again later, and later still, but it was no good. Eventually, Maria took him home.

The next day, she got a phone call.

“It was a man. He said that I was in charge of Andres now,” she says.

“If anything happened to him, worse would happen to me. He said he knew my family. Taking revenge would be easy.”

“Did you know who you were talking to? Did the man introduce himself?” I ask.

“He didn’t have to,” says Maria. “You just know who they are. You hear their voice and it’s enough. It’s terrifying.

“It’s always ‘them’ and ‘us’. They know how they can hurt me. There were times they would call and say nothing at all, just breathing hard down the line, to remind you that the beast is nearby.”

In all the time she’s been looking after Andres, only once has a woman phoned to enquire about the boy. The call was cut off.

“It might have been his mother. I think both parents are in jail,” says Maria.

She already has children of her own and it hasn’t been easy for her.

“My mum is praying for us,” she says.

“She wants to help, but she can’t do much. She tells me to accept the facts and take it as a blessing. Only she and my brother know where Andres really comes from.

“I am fond of the boy, but if I’m honest, I wish his parents would take him away.”

It is difficult to understand how many cuckoo families there are in El Salvador.

Factum, a Central American magazine that specialises in investigative journalism, has spent months researching this phenomenon in Barrio 18 and in two further locations; a community in San Salvador and another one in Santa Ana.

In Barrio 18 alone, Factum has identified at least 12 different cuckoo families, and has interviewed six women forced to look after the children of gang members.

Conna, the government agency that looks children’s rights, says they have no reports of such a practice taking place. In fact, Conna’s deputy, Griselda Gonzalez says she has no knowledge of any cases.

If there were to be a case brought to her attention, Ms Gonzalez says the children would be taken away from the host families, since they cannot provide any official paperwork.

Women say removing the children in their care could condemn them to an almost certain death.

The main support these women get comes from NGOs operating in El Salvador’s marginal communities.

To date, these organisations are the only ones who have looked into the “forced hosting” phenomenon and have drawn resources from international cooperation funds to try to alleviate some of the hardship.

Little Tony

Tony is a “gang-child”, living with a woman who is not his mother. Despite his age, he’s already started to behave like a gang member. It’s what he’s used to.

He enjoys deferential treatment among the other “homeboys” – Salvadorean slang for a gang-member.

He’s discreet, a boy of few words. He’s got the arrogant gaze of a confident gang member and he never talks to strangers.

He’s immune to bribery and knows the difference between his host family and his real family. He’s in no doubt about who can – and who cannot – tell him what to do.

Tony only comes out of his shell when he’s with the gang. They hang out together; they sit by the concrete court or on park benches. He laughs at their jokes.

Tony feels at home with the Barrio 18 gang and they treat him as one of their own – he’s even got a gang nickname. He knows his dad is a member and he behaves as such.

Tony urinates on the street if he wants to. He fights, struts and disrespects his “host mother”. Tony is a little gangster.

Tony is four years old.

Both his parents have been in jail since he was one, and Marcela was chosen to host him.

The fact that Marcela is very young herself is irrelevant – she was picked and now she has to look after him. She must bring him up as her own, but under rules that the gang decides.

She cannot move house, or travel with the child or do anything without the gang’s approval.

If Tony wants to spend his time on the streets, playing with the gang, she can’t – and mustn’t – stop him.

But now Tony is tired and falls asleep on her lap. She plays with his hair, fans him, rocks him. Marcela says one of the most entertaining things about little Tony is hearing him talk about his dad’s exploits. He knows all the tales; the gang told him everything.

Like the other “gang-children”, Tony has no official identity, no birth certificate and no ID card.

“He’ll soon need to start school. How will you enrol him?” I ask Marcela.

“I’ll see if I can find his birth registration in the town hall,” she says.

“And how will you explain your relation to the boy?”

“They don’t usually ask much. And if they do, I just say I’m his mother.”

“And if you ever need to go to hospital with him?”

“I really don’t know. I’ll have to find someone to help, but I’ll have to be careful he doesn’t get taken away from me.”

Until recently, gangs had three clear roles for women: “jainas” or girlfriends, collaborators, or sex slaves.

Now, they can also be “hosts”.

Damary, Maria and Marcela all have something in common; the gang knew they’d make good mothers.

The gang found a new way of enslaving them, forcing them to bring up the “gang-children”, or face death.

And just like that, their homes became a modern-day cuckoo’s nest.

This is an abridged version of an article that originally appeared on BBC Mundo. Spanish speakers can read the full article here.

Bryan Avelar, writes for Factum, a Central American magazine that specialises in investigative journalism. This investigation was carried out together with El Intercambio, a local production company.

Names of people and places have been changed to protect the identity of those interviewed.

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