#it's a snowballing issue and it's hard to correct once it's rolling but like. wow you're modelling such a good example mom n dad | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

anaalnathrakhs · 2 months

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one day i wish to understand exactly what was my parents' modus operandi for my childhood because i cannot for the life of me figure out the logic but also there HAS to be some kind of underlying belief to it because i turned out with mom-n-dad-shaped fundamental flaws to my character

#my current theory is based on how i tend to treat my pet and friendships/social interactions in general & how similar it feels to them #i think they have to make like. a conscious effort to remember i'm a human person with needs and wants more complex than a tamagochi #ESPECIALLY when i was younger #i see how short-tempered i can be and i think my dad just didn't register that threatening and mild violence could be harmful to a kid #cuz in the moment it's child is misbehaving -> thunder and wave fists around -> child is no longer misbehaving #tears are temporary fear is temporary what matters is that the child is no longer annoying and it's for the greater good for everyone #and i'd say the same thing can be applied for socialization a bit #though i'd also have issues w that if i had the best parents ever i think cuz. autism or whatever.#anyway like i think they just didn't pay much attention? that i was struggling?#they're all proud that they barely ever put me in daycare like okay i don't have siblings or kid neighbors or. anyone most of the time.#what do you expect?#it's a snowballing issue and it's hard to correct once it's rolling but like. wow you're modelling such a good example mom n dad #you barely have friends that you never see #mom works all the time. dad needs a lot of time to watch sports games. kid me plays alone again.#kid me starts being mildly bullied in kindergarten and learns patterns of social interaction that it will repeat for its entire life #so it's just like HA i spent A Time with you child replenish the social interaction bar now #and that's not enough to raise a child #broadcasting my misery #vent

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