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fizzyxcustard · 1 year ago

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Covert Eyes (20)

Masterlist of fan fiction

Fandom: Spooks

Pairings: Lucas North x OC (Amy Holland)

Warnings: Stalking behaviour, anxiety, language, sexual references, angst, smut, heartbreak, gunshot wounds and recovery.

Summary: Lucas takes notice of a young woman, Amy, but his obsession and want to get to know her begin to spiral out of control. Amy knows that her recovery won’t be quick, and she now has another decision to face.

Official soundtrack list: here

Comments/Notes: If you wish to be tagged in any of my tag lists for fics or characters, please let me know, and stipulate what you want to be tagged in.

“I knew you would,” Lucas said simply. “I know how much you adore your mum.”

Amy pulled from the embrace and reached over to the bedside table, flicking on the lamp. Light illuminated the room, highlighting Lucas’ face. She could see the stern set of his features, evidence that he wasn’t exactly thrilled at the prospect of the Holland family knowing about his and Amy’s true occupations.

“Did you tell her about me as well?” Lucas asked, his face still straight.

“She guessed,” Amy replied, not able to look Lucas in the eye. Shame swam in her chest and all she could do was question this move. Would it now cause a divide to form between them both? “I think by knowing what I do, it’s almost impossible not to assume that’s how I got into it.”

Lucas’ mouth had suddenly become dry and he mentally battled himself to try and work out how he felt about this. When they discussed it earlier, Lucas had assumed that he would be angry if Amy told her family. However, he didn’t feel anger in those moments. Everything was confusing.

Amy shifted from the bed and stood up, facing the window. She crossed her arms and looked down into the dark, dimly-lit street below. “I thought you’d be pissed off with me.”

Lucas blinked hard, fighting the fatigue. Maybe tomorrow would be easier for him to process his emotions once he had slept properly. “I just want to get in bed with you and go back to sleep, Aim. I don’t know how I feel about this right now. We can talk about it in the morning.”

The two of them got into bed, where Lucas spooned behind Amy. He kissed her head and heard her sigh.

“Whatever happens, remember that I love you,” Lucas said softly.

“I know, and I love you, too.”

Lucas woke first the next morning, rising from the bed. It was nearing ten ‘o’ clock. He smiled at the sound of Amy’s gentle snores and shuffled out of the room and across the landing to the bathroom. Downstairs and he could hear chattering, two voices, Amy’s mum and dad.

Once relieved, Lucas slipped back into the guest room to see that Amy was awake. She was lay on her back, gazing at the ceiling. “Sleep well?” Lucas asked.

“Not bad. How about you? Did you have any dreams again when you went back to sleep?”

“Not that I can remember.”

Amy slid up the bed and sat up, her head pressed against the headboard. “Can we talk about last night? I just…I really want to sit down and talk to Mum and Dad. I love them, Lucas. I’ve always been so close to them, especially Mum. I tell them everything, and not telling them this just feels wrong.”

Lucas sat back down on the bed and reached across for Amy’s hand. “I’ve got no right to tell you not to talk to them, Aim. All that I ask is you don’t let this go any further than them. Even your sisters. Please just keep this between us and your parents, no one else. It can get messy if too many people know, and it can cause too many risks of compromise.”

“Mum already knows we work together, so they know about you, too.”

Lucas bat his eyelids, looking down at the bed and then smirked. “What’s the worst they can do? Hate their future son-in-law and out him as a spy to anyone who might care?”

“Don’t be daft!” Amy hissed playfully. “They really like you. Mum keeps saying how happy we seem together.”

“Because it’s true, from my side at least,” Lucas replied.

Amy narrowed her eyes. “You know, you’re always saying how I talk shit with my insecurity. You’re not doing too bad a job yourself.”

***

Amy requested a chat that morning with her parents and Lucas. All four of them sat around the main dining room table, with a mug of coffee each.

“I spoke with Mum last night,” Amy began, directing her words to her dad initially. “It’s only right that you know. I don’t work for DWP anymore. I started with MI-5 the end of November.”

“MI-5?” Richard asked, his eyes wide. “Bloody hell, love! How did you manage that?”

“I was recruited. Back when I got shot; the man who shot me was a target. And…” Amy looked up at Lucas, seeing a reassuring smile. “Lucas works for them, too.”

“You were recruited together?” Richard asked.

“No, I’ve worked for them for about ten years,” Lucas said. “I initially had to tell Amy that I worked for the police, and then once she knew what I really do, she was vetted. I really shouldn’t have told Amy about my job as early into our relationship as I did, but I trust her. And the fact she knew for a while also worked in her favour to get her recruited.”

“So you go out running surveillance on people?” Richard asked. His grey eyes had lit up in enthusiasm and intrigue.

Amy smiled. “I don’t, no. That’s Lucas’ job. My role is just analysis, and I’m due to start training in a few weeks. I’ve been shadowing people in the office until my training starts.”

“I’m proud of you, sweetheart,” Sharon said, taking Amy’s hand in hers.

“This can’t go any further than just us,” Amy continued. “Not even Leah and Ruth can know. If too many people know then it can mean risks of compromise to us. But it’s too big to not tell you both.”

***

The rest of the week passed by swiftly. And by the time that leaving day arrived, Amy hugged her parents tight. There was a new concern for her in their eyes, a concern that had only intensified since she had told them the nature of her employment. Richard had already made it clear that if any harm came to his little girl that he would find Lucas and torture him slowly. But that serious conversation was soon followed by a trip to the local pub, where both men shook hands and ventured out into the cold, leaving Amy and Sharon behind at home to curl up either end of the long sofa and watch Labyrinth with David Bowie, and laugh at his crotch in tight leggings.

As Lucas and Amy drove away from the Holland house, Sharon and Richard waved them goodbye, then turned to disappear back inside.

Sharon was quiet for a few minutes and walked on behind her husband, who shot into the kitchen to make a fresh cup of tea. “You alright, love?” Richard asked. He flicked on the kettle and leaned on the table, his upper body facing his wife.

“I can’t shake the feeling that there’s something she’s not telling us, Rich,” Sharon started. “She gets shot by a terrorist suspect, and then MI-5 decide to recruit her? It doesn’t sound right to me. There’s something with the person who shot her, and I can’t shake that feeling. I can’t say that I’m completely over the moon with her change of job. I’m proud of her for how far she’s come, but I just have this heavy feeling in my stomach that she’s not telling us the whole truth.”

“She’s not going to be able to tell us absolutely everything. I could tell that it took a lot out of her just telling us that she’s got a job with them. You know how they work – everything is top secret and hush hush. Maybe she can’t tell us.”

“I’ve always told my kids they can come to me with anything, and Amy has always been the one who stuck to that. She’s never kept anything from me. Maybe part of me is jealous of Lucas because he knows the full story behind all of this, and I never will. It’s the first time that she’s kept anything from me, and I don’t think she’s doing it because she wants to.”

“Of course she isn’t. You’ve just said that she’s never kept anything from us. She’s always been the most honest of the three girls.”

“I don’t want this job and relationship to change her.” Sharon shook her head in sadness and looked away, feeling tears sting in her eyes.

“It won’t,” Richard said softly. He put his arm around Sharon and held her against him. “If anything, her relationship has brought her back out of her shell. Those years with Adam almost wrecked her. When she’s with Lucas, she’s the happiest I’ve ever seen her. Can you ever remember her and Adam holding hands like that, or just generally being affectionate?”

***

The drive back to London was fairly swift, with little to no queues of traffic.

It was early afternoon by the time Lucas pulled the car over to a spot outside their maisonette block. For a split second he was taken back to the times he had watched her enter and exit the building. It was when they had barely known each other, with only their morning coffee being a method of communication between them.

Amy got out the car first and moved around to the rear end to get their suitcases out of the boot.

Once the two of them had got their cases and were back into the flat, Lucas turned to Amy. “Before we get all of this sorted,” he began, his eyes drifting over the two suitcases, “how about we go out for something to eat?”

“Yeah, okay. I don’t really fancy preparing anything.”

After their meal at the local café, where they first met, Lucas and Amy walked home hand in hand. There was a flurry of snow on the air, and the sun tried hard to shine from beneath the thickening clouds. “Looks like it might be setting in for the afternoon,” Lucas said, quickly glancing across at Amy who seemed quiet again.

Back at their flat door, Lucas unlocked it and let Amy inside first.

“You okay, Aim?” he asked as he took his black scarf off from around his neck.

“Are you sure you’re okay with me telling Mum and Dad about our jobs? You’re risking a lot because of me, I know that. Should I have listened to you on this?” Amy sat down at the dining room table and looked up at Lucas who was hovering a few feet away. He’d switched on the overhead light as the thick cloud outside seemed to be darkening the world.

“I shouldn’t have been so worried about it, Aim. Now I see that I was quite hypocritical about it; I told you about my job a lot earlier than I should have done.”

“You told me because our relationship was riding on it, remember? You disappeared for nearly a week with no word, so I get why you told me. I did kind of corner you.”

“Don’t question your decision,” Lucas reassured. “I know I need to let you make decisions for yourself and not be down on you. If we’re going to get married then I need to trust you with decision making.”

The word married made Amy shiver. She still couldn’t believe that she was engaged to this gorgeous man in front of her. He had previously been the kind of man that she would have only dreamed about dating. Never in her wildest dreams did she ever imagine a man like Lucas North would be interested.

That evening and Amy made sure that Lucas’ work shirts were ironed as he was due on shift the next morning. Amy wasn’t due in until midday, but had decided to head in with Lucas anyway to build some extra hours. Music played in her ear buds as she ironed his shirts and a couple of her blouses. It was a long forgotten song from an old Bon Jovi album she’d downloaded a week prior. Lucas was taking a bath as she worked. He never took showers, even though Amy had a shower head over her bath. Only ever baths. Showers brought upon bouts of anxiety, reminding him of his time in Lushanka, his hell on Earth.

As Amy finished up the last shirt, she felt arms slip around her from behind, and smelt the faint scent of lavender from the bubble bath. “I wouldn’t have minded the company, you know?” he whispered.

“I know, sweet, but I’ve got to get the ironing done for us starting back to work. I’m going to have a quick shower though before bed.”

“I’m going to have an early night and read for a bit. Maybe we can do in bed what I had in mind for the bath?”

“Or we could just do it now?” Amy whispered, turning around and pulling him into a kiss.

A few minutes later and Amy found herself pinned beneath Lucas as they made love in their bed. It was slow, deep, intense. They always took their time, prolonging the build and pleasure. Lucas groaned and panted as he held her one leg aside, his hips moving in a rhythm. It had been over a week now since they’d been intimate as Amy had felt great shame at the thought of having sex in the bedroom next door to her parents. But now they could express their love and want again.

The next morning they woke to a light layer of snow on the ground and a thin mist veiling the sun which was still trying to scorch through the cloud. Lucas brought himself and Amy a take away coffee from their café and then they rode the underground to work. Little did they know, a pair of peering eyes watched through the crowds. They were focused on Amy, taking in her short stature, curvy frame and the way she never let go of Lucas’ hand among the crowds.

“Positive ID,” the voice said softly into the microphone beneath his collar; it was paired with an American accent. “She’s with Lucas North.”

***

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#Lucas North #Richard Armitage #Lucas North x OC #Lucas North x Original Female Character #Spooks #MI-5 #Fanfiction

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ellethespaceunicorn · 2 years ago

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Bright Like The Moon: Chapter 3

Chapter 3: If You Want To View Paradise

Rating: Explicit, 18+, Minors - DNI

Fandom: Night Hunter

Pairing: Walter Marshall x Black!OFC

Word count: 5.5K

Summary: Kamaria Mansfield is hired at the Minnesota Police Department as an intern. Detective Walter Marshall is overworked and unsatisfied. Takes place post-film.

Chapter Summary: Walter and Kamaria explore aspects of their relationship, including control and vulnerability. This chapter is pretty emotional, so heed the warnings!

Chapter warnings: Walter says ‘Fuck’ a lot, soft!Dom!Walter, spicy texting, sexting, unrealistic working hours of a detective I’m sure of it, emotional moments, flashback to a violent incident, aftercare

A/N: Very Walter-centric chapter. I wanted to get inside his head. But also, Kamaria is my protagonist, so I made her the beginning and end of the chapter. Un-beta’d, we die like people who tried their best.

Dividers: @firefly-graphics

Support/Reblog banner by me

Cover Art by me

Cross-posted on AO3

Series Masterlist

My Masterlist

Kamaria’s POV

Monday Night

I had to call him Sir at least once. For science. Just to see if my hypothesis was correct. And it was. Seems my ‘handsome stranger’ likes to be in charge. And I like the thought of him in charge. A few other thoughts run through my mind at that.

My shyness went right out the door! I can’t believe I just told this man that his growl went straight to my kittycat. Well, I did use an emoji. But he understood very well.

And he didn’t have to growl like that and get me all hot and bothered, had me squeezing my thighs together the whole ride home.

And he called me Princess! My submissive ass was salivating so I had to drop another ‘Yes Sir’.

I ate my salad and got into bed so quickly to sate this need, my head could have spun. After I quenched my appetite in various ways, a thought occurred to me. What happens now? How do I act around him, knowing what I know and what he knows?

I’ll figure that shit out later, I guess. My brain is fried and my clit is blitzed. Put a fork in me, cuz I’m done.

Damn, I can’t wait til I’m wrecked because of him…

Walter’s POV

Tuesday Morning

I wake up to my phone trumpeting ‘How Soon Is Now?’ by The Smiths. I’m still in my clothes from last night, my half-hard dick still out. Awesome. I gently tuck myself back in, noting that the skin is still sensitive to the touch. I did promise to beat it like it owed me money.

I silence my phone and think back to last night. Texting with Kam had been…enlightening. Turns out my suspicions were correct. She likes to be submissive, maybe even a little bratty too. I’ll tame her only if she gets out of line.

Can’t say I didn’t enjoy it. If she liked the growl, she’ll enjoy my feral side. But I won’t get ahead of myself. Haven’t even kissed her yet.

Yet being the keyword. I plan on devouring her lips. Both sets. There I go getting ahead of myself again. I wonder if she’s thinking the same thing.

I shoot her a quick text, I want her to know I’m thinking of her.

Me: Good morning Beautiful

I set my phone to the side and get undressed to take a shower. As I’m getting the water to temperature, my phone dings twice.

Kam: No ‘Princess’?

Kam: 🥺

That fucking emoji is gonna be the death of me, I am declaring it right now.

Me: Good morning beautiful Princess

Me: Is that better?

Kam: Yessssssss

Kam: NOW I can start my day 😉

Kam: How did you sleep?

Me: I passed right out after a little…strenuous activity.

Let’s see how she handles that.

Kam: I also passed out after some ‘strenuous activity’.

Kam: A shame we couldn’t have coordinated that better…

Sounds like she handled that like a champ, and she is insinuating we could have helped each other. This woman!

Me: Are you saying we could have…

Me: Helped each other, Princess?

A full thirty seconds pass before my phone dings again. By that time, I am already in the shower. She will just have to wait. And I will have to wait as well, even though I could just as easily look at the lock screen from the shower door. Nah, patience is the key here. Patience for me and perhaps anxiety for her. I finish my shower, not toweling off, and reach for my phone which has dinged multiple times by now.

Kam: I mean there is always FaceTime

Kam: And I do live pretty close to work

Kam: So in essence, we are probably close to each other

Kam: Not that I’m saying I’m ready for a FaceTime booty call

Kam: Or another kind of booty call

Kam: It’s been…a while for me 🥺

Me: How long has it been Princess?

Kam: Over a year 😫

A fucking year? And no one has turned that pussy into mincemeat? Why am I suddenly angry? I know why. It’s because my brain can’t fathom this woman not getting everything she wants all the time.

Me: Was that by choice? Bad breakup?

Kam: You don’t know the half of it.

Kam: But I wanna tell you about it. Just not over text, in person is better.

Me: I’m all ears. When you’re ready.

Me: There is no rush Princess

Kam: Thank you Sir, ok I need to shower and get ready

Me: I already showered

Me: [image sent]

Why the fuck do I always have sender’s remorse? It’s only my chest, not my dick or anything. Oh, but my Adonis belt is visible a tad. And I’m still wet from the shower.

Kam: 🥵🥵🥵

Kam: Sir!!!

Kam: That’s what you’re hiding under those layers??

Me: Lol

Kam: I wanna rub my hands through that thicket of hair

Me: And here I thought Princess was a shy one

Kam: Oh, I’m not as shy with texting…

Kam: I haven’t even kissed you yet

Kam: And I’m already thinking of other ways to use my mouth

Kam: 🤤😛

Kam: How am I gonna focus at work?

Me: Keep calm and Carry On Princess

Kam: 😡

There’s my little brat. Let’s see how far she takes it.

Me: Is that backtalk??

Kam: NO!!!!!!

Kam: I just…am frustrated now

And she can reign it in after a little encouragement. I like that.

Me: Good. Stay frustrated.

Kam: 🥺

Me: Get ready for work Princess

Me: I’ll see you soon

Me: Text me when you get there

And with that, I put down my phone and get ready for my day and ignore whether or not my phone dings.

Walter’s POV

Tuesday Morning (continued)

I’m out the door after a while, ending up in the parking lot. Not in my usual spot as it was taken by a cute little silver Toyota, the driver checking herself out in the rearview mirror. I could crash this truck staring at her.

Me: You’re at work

Me: But I didn’t receive a text telling me so

Me: Hmm 🤔

Kam: I swear I just got here

Kam: I promise!!

Kam: Wait where are you??

Me: Be a good girl and go on in

Kam: Yes Sir

Not even an ounce of brattiness. Just an obeyed command. Fuck. I watch as she exits her car and locks it, walking towards the entrance. I exit my vehicle, just to the left of her, watching as she walks right by and into the building, smiling as she does. I notice she is wearing a heather grey box-pleat skirt and the way it hugs that ass is magical, the tops of her pink thigh-high socks are visibly hugging those deliciously thick thighs.

I send off a few texts as I follow behind her a few paces back.

Me: Hate to see you go

Me: Love to watch you leave

Me: 🍑

Me: A thing of beauty

I wait until she looks up at me from her phone screen and I toss her a grin, brushing past her as I walk to my office. Imperceptibly to anyone else around us, of course. We just look like two colleagues exchanging pleasantries.

Kam: Thank you 😊

Kam: Have to get to work now Sir

Me: Good girl

Me: Busy day today, but I’ll be sure to walk you out later

Me: See you then

Kam: See you later Sir

And with that, I ignore my phone for the rest of the day.

Not that I had to, Kam behaved herself. Every time I peeked at her desk, I saw that she was typing away on whatever assignment she was given. She goes out to lunch with the twins again today. I’m glad she is forming a routine here. Something to keep her busy on days I can’t seem to get a break. Like today.

Rachel barges in around 3 pm, fire in her eyes. No doubt something went wrong with the search teams this morning.

I was right, in a way.

“He lied,” Rachel scowls, throwing down the map of the bodies, “Not about the first four. The last body on this map isn’t who he said it would be. Why lie? I mean, after all the work you did to get it out of him. After all the work I put into this.” She sits in the chair across from me defeatedly.

Even after all this time, it’s hard to watch her be upset.

“Look, this is still a win. Even if he only gave us four out of five, that’s four more than we originally had. Four families can lay their loved ones to rest,” I tilt my head to try and reason with her, “This guy probably doesn’t even realize that he just made his situation worse by exposing that information.”

“You’re right. This is a win,” she blows out a satisfied breath, “I mean, if anything, now we have six confirmed kills. How often do killers bury their victims in the same place as another killer right?”

It would almost be comical if it wasn’t about murder.

“Exactly. Now, we need to get the location of that last body. Are you up for that?” I ask, secretly hoping she wants me to rough him up again.

“Yeah, I got this. If I need you, I’ll send Harper to come to collect you,” She stands up and reaches for my hand over the desk.

I take hers, knowing she just needed a positive touch in that moment. “You got this,” I say, letting her hand go after a slight squeeze.

“Detective Marshall?” Kamaria stands in my doorway, file in one hand, the hem of her pink button-up sweater clutched in the other hand.

Fuck.

Rachel lets go of my hand a little too slowly, waving as she hightails it out of my office.

“Um, the file you requested on, uh,-”

“That wasn’t what it looked like, Kam,” I get up and close the door slightly, making sure Rachel is down the hall. I stand just within arm’s reach.

“So, you weren’t holding her hand?” Her bottom lip quivers and I hate myself for being the cause of it.

“I did hold her hand, but it was nothing more than a friendly gesture. She’s dealing with a tough case at the moment. I just wanted to let her know I’m here for her. I promise that’s all.” I’m rambling now, it would seem.

“And you don’t like her?” She clutches the file to her chest, not yet looking me in the eye.

“I used to like her,” I watch as she stiffens slightly, “Now I barely tolerate her. She’s my ex.”

She finally looks up at me, an unshed tear in her eye. “Do you like me?”

“Yes,” I take the file from her hands and throw it on my desk. Using my thumb, I wipe at the tear as it threatens to fall upon her cheek, “I like you.”

“I like you too, I promise I’m not some jealous little girl and I probably have no right to be anyway. I just don’t have a good history with my ex and I saw her hand in yours and I…just…” She rattled on, wrapping her arms around herself and clutching the fabric of her sweater through shaky fingers.

“You have every right to be confused right now. I comforted my ex, the ex who literally told me she doesn’t need me. But let me make one thing clear,” I take her hands in mine and lean down so my forehead touches hers, “Yours are the hands I want to hold.”

I can feel her breathing pick up as she tilts her head to look from the door back to me. I don’t see the kiss coming, but the surprise of it has me reeling. Feeling her lips against mine is like breathing for the first time. Our tongues mingling is akin to tasting water after being in the desert. My hands long to wander but settle against her face. Our first kiss ends in panting breaths and passion restrained.

“Fuck,” is all I can croak out.

“Ditto,” she smiles, landing another peck at the corner of my mouth.

“Do you have plans tonight?” I put feelers out, wondering if she’d like to continue this.

“You tell me, Sir,” she is delighted when that response earns her a low growl. We are so close, I’m sure she can feel it rumble in my chest.

“Let me cook for you at my place tonight. We can talk and spend time together,” I press, hoping this isn’t too soon to invite her over.

“I’d like that,” she leans back to look into my eyes, “May I have one more kiss? Just one and then I’ll go and let you get back to work.”

“Just one?” I ask, sly grin unhidden. She nods, biting her bottom lip. I reach up and tug that lip free of her teeth and lean in. I debate saying ‘No’ to watch her squirm, but we both need this.

I put my hand behind her head and slot our mouths together. Promises untold and wishes unmade dream up an expanse that we occupy for a few moments more. We pull back to catch our breaths, and before I take her right here on my desk.

“Go back to work, Princess. We have about,” I check my watch and look back to her, “An hour and a half til the end of the day. Think you can make it without letting your mind wander too much?” I question. My thumb is ghosting over her bottom lip before she takes the digit into her mouth, letting it go with a little sucking sound. That goes right to my dick and it takes everything out of me to not adjust right myself right in front of her.

“I can handle it, Sir” she murmured, stamping a kiss on the tip of my nose, “The question is, can you?” She moves to back out of the office, but I pull her back in, spinning her around so that her back is flush against me.

I growl lowly, nuzzling into her ear while holding her hips against the evidence of her handiwork. “Feel that, Princess? That is all your doing. No one else does that to me,” I admitted, letting her try and squirm against me before guiding her toward the door again, “Feel free to think about that, and thanks again for the file.” I bellow, smiling at her as I opened the door for her to leave.

She is visibly flustered but wipes it away before going back to her desk without another word. This is too much fun.

Walter’s POV

Tuesday Evening

At about twelve after five, a knock on my door pulls my attention. Kamaria stands there, holding her coat and purse while dramatically checking a non-existent watch on her wrist.

“Quarter past a freckle, is it?” I shake my head and she laughs, coming all the way into the office.

“A freckle, indeed,” she teased, “I have a request, by the way. And you’re more than welcome to deny the said request. But you did also say that ‘mine are the hands you want to hold’ though”, she encouraged while doing a spot-on posh English accent to mimic my words.

“And your request would be…?” I wondered, watching as her face adorably scrunches up in thought, “Does Princess want to hold my hand as we walk out?” The look of disbelief on her face is 100% worth overcoming my fear of public displays of affection.

“How…ok, maybe I did make it a bit obvious. But I also wanna see Nina and Sophie’s faces when they realize I wasn’t joking about having my eye on someone. They kept trying to get me to talk to the waiter at the diner and give him my number.” She twirls one of her locs around a finger, while I push down the urge to get jealous about a waiter making eyes at her.

“I’ll hold your hand on the way out, under one condition,” She tilts her head and raises her eyebrows as I speak, curious about what she’ll have to agree to. “You let me eat you out tonight until I’m satisfied. No more, no less.” I dared, searching her eyes for intimidation of any kind.

“Hold up, you’ll hold my hand AND you wanna eat me out? Say less! Let’s get out of here, Sir,” she gushed, no doubt forgetting the phrase ‘until I’m satisfied’.

She’ll remember soon enough.

I stand up, grabbing my coat from the hook by the door. I reach out my hand to hold hers, and she smiles, locking our fingers. We walk out of my office, and down the hallway. I throw on my coat and help Kam into hers. The baffled faces of the twins as we walk by are more than enough, but the sputtering Nina does as I kiss Kam’s cheek is enough to do it all over again. Kam waves goodnight to her friends and we exit the building.

We walk to her car and I make sure she has my address programmed into her phone’s GPS before kissing her through the open car window. I get in my truck, pull out and wait for her to follow me. Before long, we are in the driveway and I’m taking her hand to help her out.

Walter’s POV

Tuesday Evening (continued)

While I am in the kitchen, whipping up a quick penne alfredo, I allow Kam to roam through the living room. She turns on a playlist from her phone to play on my Bluetooth speaker. She seems to like music that she can move to, and I do enjoy watching. As I set up our plates on the dining room table, I watch as she sways to a favorite of mine, ‘Human’ by Rag’n’Bone Man.

‘Oh, some people got the real problems

Some people out of luck

Some people think I can solve them

Lord heavens above

I'm only human after all

Don't put the blame on me

Don't put the blame on me’

I walk up behind her and slot my arms around her waist, swaying along with her. “Dinner is ready, Princess,” I informed, leaning to kiss her cheek. She beams at me, peeking around me at the table.

“It smells wonderful and I am starving,” she piped over the sound of the music.

She turns the volume down on the speaker and switches it to some light classical music. I recognize a piano arrangement of ‘Pure Imagination’ as she comes to join me at the table. I pull out her chair for her and she allows me to do so, my love language on full display. I sit across from her and nod for her to eat.

“I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone cook for me before. I’m in my early thirties and I’m being romanticized and I’ll be honest, I don’t quite understand how to process this,” she says, twirling some noodles on her fork, “So, I’m doing what I always do and I’m letting my brain force words out of my mouth at high speed.” She stops herself, shoving almost too much food into her mouth and the most sinful moan follows. Noticing the smile on my face as I chew my first bite, she realizes all too quickly that I enjoy her sounds as she does mine.

“Good?” I surmise as she tries to hide her enjoyment.

“Very good,” she nods, stopping before taking another bite, “I absolutely love pasta. I’ve never met a pasta I don’t like. From a simple spaghetti to an intricate tagliatelli. I fucking love it. I love food. I’m sure that’s evident, right?” She shakes her head at herself, no doubt berating herself for putting herself down.

I put my fork down and put my hand over hers. “You know, it’s not hard to see your inner struggle with self-confidence. But, if I may say, the way you immediately try and correct yourself is astounding. In the same breath, you reign it in. A lot of us wish we had the same power. Don’t sell yourself so short.” I posit, trying to reassure her.

“I know that self-confidence is not exactly my strong suit. But I am confident about certain things in my life. Like my fashion sense and my taste in music,” she pauses, putting down her fork, “But before you? My preference for companionship left a lot to be desired.”

“How so?” I prod, giving her the space to talk freely.

“Um, that’s a long story honestly. But I want you to know the long and short of it, so I’ll just come out with it. I was in a long-term Dom/sub relationship where I was emotionally abused. And he went on to cheat on me multiple times…with my best friend of all people, which is why I find it difficult to trust most people. When I find a connection with someone, I tend to latch on to them tightly or push them away completely. I feel like I only know two emotions sometimes. Fear and loneliness.” Her hands reflexively flex, as if they are grabbing at the air. I place mine over hers and squeeze, urging her to continue.

“My ex, Christopher, and I met in college where we were art majors. He was absolutely beautiful. Sun-kissed skin, gorgeous blonde hair like spun gold, and these eyes that could draw you in making you feel like you were the only one in the room. We were like night and day, complete opposites. But he was relentless in his pursuit of me. He used to say I was his muse, a real starving artist type, ya know? Even though his parents paid for everything. Pretty soon, he moved me into his loft, with promises of love and understanding and I fell for every line he could throw out. Every lie, I fell for. Every half-truth, I believed. I was in love and nothing else mattered.” She squeezes my hand, and I rub the back of hers with my thumb.

“Soon after I agreed to marry him, he began to refer to me as his property. I was his, but he was never truly mine. He would comment on my weight, restricting my diet and putting on what I later realized were diet pills. He would say my best friend Britnee and I would be the perfect soulmate for him if we could somehow meld our personalities and bodies together. I would just laugh, I had no idea that I was being abused. I thought I was just in love with someone who wanted me to be better for them. And by better, what it really meant was, completely different. He wanted a doll. Someone he could parade around and do hideous acts to. Someone who wouldn’t complain about being mistreated.” Her breathing picks up and her eyes become vacant.

“He had never raised his hand to me in anger until the night I found out he and Britnee were having sex. There were times, of course, when he would take a ‘scene’ too far but I was able to bury those after a while. I told him I was leaving. He told me I couldn’t leave because I had no one to run to. That was true, my mother had given up on me completely when I was a child because she never wanted to be a mother. And my Dad was halfway across the world, working on his photography career. I was alone except for those two people who were draining me. One who treated me like a doormat and one who wanted what I had, weirdly enough. I walked in on them in our fucking bed and he gets mad at me, punching me full-force in the jaw. I barely reacted, I just knew I was done. When I say I barely reacted, it is a slight misjudgment of action. I picked up the nearest thing I could, my old sculpture of a heart I did my first week of art school and I hit him over the head with it.” I can only stifle a gasp, not sure where this was headed, but my interest was piqued tenfold at that moment.

“I hit him so hard that it knocked him out, and gave him a bit of brain damage as well. My Dad always told me that if a man raises his hands to a woman, she has every right to defend herself to whatever degree necessary. So, I did. And he never pressed charges against me. I doubt he even really remembers a lot of what he did. If he did, pressing charges would only shed light on the emotional abuse I suffered, so why bother?” She peeks at me for a second before continuing.

“I left that night. Never saw Britnee again either. And last I heard, Christopher was in rehab and quit art school. I was hospitalized soon after. I had gone to class for weeks after the incident until one day, I just stood up in class and started screaming and wouldn’t stop until EMTs were called and I was sedated. It was like my energy reserves were finally depleted. I had nothing left to hold onto. I was in the hospital for a week or two, medicated and getting therapy to deal with PTSD from being with a narcissistic lover and a terrible best friend. Until Nina and Sophia, I gave up on finding friends and letting people in. They still don’t know the details, but they know I had a bad breakup over a year ago. But I wanted to tell you the truth, I want you to know everything. So you can decide if I’m worth it.” She adds in the last sentence almost as a whisper.

“Where is Christopher now?” I coaxed, worried about her safety.

“Last I heard, and that was a year ago, he moved with his Dad back to Europe to be closer to his family. He still doesn’t remember what happened and I’m not sure I want him to.”

I place my hand on her cheek, ghosting over her warm skin. “Thank you for telling me. It means a lot to me that you would trust me with your past enough to bring me into the loop. And, please, believe me, this only makes me understand you more. It does not make me want to stop getting to know you.” She latches on to my hand where it rests on her cheek and locks eyes with me.

“Even after all I’ve said, you still want to be with me?” She chokes out, her armor cracking under the pressure of her truth.

“Of course I do, Princess. I, very much, still want to be with you. If you’ll let me,” I let go of her as she rounds the dining table and falls into my lap, crying her eyes out. “Shhh, I’m here, baby girl.” I cling to her in my arms, as tight as I can manage to try and convey that she is truly safe now.

I pick her up in my arms and carry her to the couch. I hold her in my lap and rest her head on my chest, running my thumb along her cheek as tears fall. “I’m right here, I’m not letting go.” I hum, rocking her back and forth in my arms.

“I…don’t like…seeming…weak,” she cries, still trying to hold onto a strong thread of her past.

“And you don’t seem weak. You are so strong for telling me. So strong. And I am so proud of you. Now, let me be strong for you, ok? You just reopened some old wounds and your body and spirit are going to need to rest. So let them. And I’ll be right here when you’re ready to talk again. I’m not going anywhere, Angel.” I kiss her forehead as she settles into me.

“You…wanted to…be intimate. I ruined it,” she whimpers, clutching my arms as I hold her tight.

“No, you didn’t ruin a thing. Don’t worry about that, my main concern is your safety and your comfort. You will never be alone as long as I’m here, I promise you that. Now, rest. I’ll be here when you wake up.” I feel her body snuggle down and relax into me.

Kamaria’s POV

Tuesday Evening

I awake late in the evening, still perched on Walter’s lap. His arms are still around me, his head tilted against the back of the couch. Soft snores escape his lips, his chest rising and falling in a comforting rhythm. I look at the clock on the bookshelf as it blinks at 9:27. The Bluetooth speaker now softly playing ‘Clair de Lune’.

I look back to Walter as he shifts in his sleep, never letting me go. The serenity in which we sit contradicts our earlier conversation. I try and reconcile that I needed aftercare after speaking about my past relationship. I did lay it all out on the line, I’m actually not that surprised that my entire body needed a recharge.

I listen to the song float on to the ending and reach up to caress Walter’s face. He slowly smiles, eyes still closed, turning his head to kiss my palm.

“There’s my Angel,” he looks down at me, “How are you feeling?”

“Lighter, like a weight, has been lifted,” I sighed, placing my hand on his chest, “You’re the first person outside of my therapist to know about all this.”

“Thank you for letting me in, for trusting me with it,” he cooed, placing his hand over mine.

“For the record? I also like being called Angel, especially in this kind of setting,” I admit, not wanting to use the word and risk embarrassment.

“Do you mean especially during aftercare?” he soothed, no doubt reading my mind.

“Yes,” I mumble, cuddling into him, “and I really like to hear ‘Clair de Lune’. It helps to ground me.”

“Alright. I think I’ve got it. Hold you tight, call you Angel, and play your comfort song. We’ll add to the list if need be.” His sweet voice is truly a marvel to go along with his massive frame.

We look into each other’s eyes for a beat, leaning in at the same time to press our lips together. Not as passionate as earlier in the day, but it doesn’t need to be. This kiss is more of a tenderness than a need to thrill.

“I think I need to head home, I really am still quite tired and need to let you get rest,” I mutter, secretly hoping he doesn’t ask me to stay, not knowing whether or not I’m ready to stay.

“Yes, it is late. And I wouldn’t want you feeling too tired for work tomorrow,” he cautioned, lifting himself effortlessly with me still in his arms. He places me down on my feet and kisses my forehead. “I’ll walk you to your car, Princess.”

My tiny hand in his massive paw genuinely makes my heart flutter as we take our time to kiss goodbye, leaning against my car. I could kiss him until the sun rises, but instead, he pulls away and straightens my coat collar around my neck. I’m not used to being cared for and I think he can tell, but he still does the most anyway. Before he lets me go, he pulls off his sweater and shoves it in my hands, making me promise to text him when I get home. Did I just get a ‘boyfriend sweater’ shoved at me?

I get home, immediately shedding layers in the bedroom and putting on his sweater, sending a quick text.

Me: Home now!

Walter Marshall: Is it weird I gave you a jumper and not a hoodie?

Me: It smells like you, I’ll take all the jumpers you wanna donate

Walter Marshall: You’re wearing it now aren’t you

Me: [image sent]

Walter Marshall: It suits you

Walter Marshall: Godddd those legs

Walter Marshall: Can’t wait to have them wrapped around me

Me: Around your shoulders or your hips?

Me: 😈

Walter Marshall: Both?

Walter Marshall: Both.

Walter Marshall: Both are good.

Me: Dork

Walter Marshall: You like this dork and he likes you back so what does that make you

Me: Seriously lucky 😇

Walter Marshall: Good.

Walter Marshall: It’s late Princess

Walter Marshall: Ready for bed?

Me: Ready

Me: Cuddle me?

Walter Marshall: Always

Walter Marshall: Night Princess

Me: Night Sir

A/N: It was touch and go there for a second, hope you enjoyed it!! 💜💙

Chapter 4

**Tag List**

Henry Fanfiction: @enchantedbytomandhenry

Bright Like The Moon: @geralts-yenn @deandoesthingstome @liveoncoffeeandflowersss Let me know if you wanna be added and for what plz! 😁

#walter marshall #walter marshall fanfic #walter marshall x black!plus size female #walter marshall x black!plus size female oc #walter marshall x ofc #walter marshall x black!ofc #ellethespaceunicorn fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill #walter marshall fanfiction #walter marshall fic #night hunter #night hunter fanfic #night hunter fanfiction #bright like the moon

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bettsfic · 2 years ago

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hi betts! i'm wondering if you have any advice for a writer struggling with jealousy? in general, i don't consider myself to be a very jealous person. but a good friend of mine has recently had much success and received a lot of praise. it's given my writing ego a big hit, even though a part of me is still happy for her and believes she deserves it. but it is making an impact on my writing habits. any thoughts? thank you!

oh no! i'm so sorry you're going through that, anon. jealousy is such a difficult emotion, because there's almost always guilt piled on top of it, and by that i mean, the shame of "it's wrong to be feeling this way."

so i guess that's my first piece of advice: let yourself be jealous. there is not a writer on this earth who has totally skirted jealousy. it's something ugly that returns to us no matter how much success we find. there's always someone who writes the way we wish we could write. there's always someone more successful. if you don't let yourself feel what you're feeling, it's easy for that emotion to get lodged within you and you end up carrying it everywhere. if held, jealousy turns into resentment, into problems of self-worth. do whatever you have to do to accept that feeling, and know that it's okay to feel that way.

the thing about jealousy is that in saying, "i wish i had what that person has," we're also saying, "having what that person has would validate me," and that in turn is saying, "because i don't have what that person has, i am not as valid as i thought i was."

i don't have to say, "but you're always valid," because you know it already (or at least, i hope you do). it's just that sometimes there are situations like this one that make you question the things you know to be true, and you have to find ways to reaffirm that knowledge.

the hideous truth of success in writing is that it has very little to do with us. success is someone with authority choosing you. that's it. that's why rejection is so ubiquitous: you simply have to put your work in front of as many people as you possibly can until it happens upon someone who vibes with you. you might say, "if i'm good enough, they'll choose me," but that's not true either. even to the most professional and objective editors, personal taste still informs our ideas of artistic quality. at the end of the day, someone choosing you is very much influenced by someone thinking, "i, personally, want to read that."

what helped me the most with jealousy was being put on the other side of the divide. as soon as i started being the person who accepts, rejects, or rates work, it put my perspective of my own work in a new light and showed me how subjective and personal success really is. as objective as i try to be, a truth difficult to grasp is that everyone's work holds merit. and when i approach editorial positions, juror work, or contest judging, i go into it with the knowledge that my experiences and knowledge and personal tastes will always influence my decisions. in turn, my work has been judged in the same way. it simply can't be helped. if it were possible to quantify quality in a creative work, it would cease to be creative. subjectivity and creativity go hand in hand.

there are many people who know this truth and their answer is to appeal to the widest possible audience. this is absolutely attainable in every form of writing. but i think many of us can agree that we live in a time where mass media tries far too hard to appeal to the widest possible audience and the quality lessens because of it. the larger the audience, the more creative concessions you have to make in your work. and if all you want is to get an agent or get published or write the top fic in a huge fandom, you can aim for all of those things, but they will often be at the cost of pride in your work.

loving and being proud of what you make because it represents who you are and what you want to say is the highest goal. it's also often going to have the narrowest audience. that's okay. write the thing you want to fight for first, and then fight for it, accepting that some people, for whatever reason, whether it be luck or whatever else, will not have to fight as hard as you. and there will be yet others who have to fight harder.

but as i often say, every writer is on their own journey. some roads are longer and more fraught than others. all you can do is stay focused on your own path, and trust that you'll make it to your destination eventually.

#writing advice

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loveinterestcastiel · 4 years ago

Text

Long post ahead, sorry, but I can’t be the only one who remembers this stuff, right?? i.e. the funko scenes from Atomic Monsters (15x04, Davy Perez wrote, Jensen directed)??

The first one came to pass on screen in the finale, when Sam and Dean discuss the mime-vampire case under the big tree.

The second came to fruition only partially. Upon Dean’s arrival at the Heaven Roadhouse, Bobby tells him only that “Cas helped”. However, the funko pops in 15x04 imply that Cas was supposed to be there. Not Bobby. So what happened?

Some seriously fucked up and suspicious shit is what happened. Take a look:

The water tower on Becky’s desk, also in 15x04, was a hint about a filming location for the finale, that we know they made it to and filmed at because of the SPN tapeball Instagram account. On August 29 2020, the tapeball account posted a picture of the real water tower and the tapeball with the caption “About to drown....in tears”.

Now this... this location, and the scenes shot there, never made it to air. We also know that there are 11 shots missing from episode 20 (if someone could dig out the chart plotting out what scenes fit where, I’d love to insert that here)

So here’s the thing about the SPN tapeball! It’s consistently colour-coded. Jensen is blue, Jared is red, and Misha is green. On the outside of the tapeball (therefore, the scenes most recently shot) we see red, blue, and a metric-ton of green on the left.

So where was Misha?? What happened to Cas?

Fuckery, my friends. He was there. (There’s a screenshot someone took of the view from his window when he was quarantined in Vancouver, don’t ask me how the fandom figured that one out bc it’s complicated but just go with it, Michael Sheen confirmed it during the SuperGood video thing, etc. there’s more but I don’t have time for that rn. Feel free to add on to the post if you have the receipts/pictures)

If I had to guess, even though I hate to do that, I’d say Misha shot his scenes, which were presumably set in Heaven, but they were cut, and he only found out as the show aired. Unfortunately, this sort of thing is not uncommon in the entertainment industry. What really stings is that he sat his kids down to watch the finale with him after never letting them watch the show before, only to see the absolutely frankensteined/chopped up/weak/VValker promoting nightmare of an ending that aired. Talk about a slap in the face (or being stabbed in the back...)

And so it goes- no closure. No resolution. And then the fandom divided itself (cult accusations, toxic discourse, etc. ensued from people I shall not name directed at people I shall not name). And now, non-polol and non-polol-adjacent people are starting to loudly question Why The Hell this was able to slide under the majority of the fandom’s noses in the first place after shaming the people who’ve tried to address it from the beginning, but I don’t really care about how we got here. (Full disclosure, I’m only polol-adjacent. Not in the server but I follow many of the people who are, and when I tell you that they’ve publically been addressing this stuff for ages now I mean it. They never really hid anything if you knew where to look, but some people hate inside jokes between friends, apparently. Not my business) All this crap happened for one reason: because network PR is a machine. It’s intentional, it’s calculated, and it doesn’t give a flying fuck about feelings, representation, or ethics. It’s a gaslighting, money-making game that’s up for anything; queerbaiting is only the tip of the iceberg of rampant industry-wide sexism, racism, homophobia, and ableism. But it FREQUENTLY fucks up. And they did with regards to SPN, many, many times. Like the C/W Philly account. Oopsies!

Now that we’re all finally on the same page, let’s not let this go. I know other people have had these ideas before me, but I needed to get all this written out in one place.

It’s not a conspiracy. It never was. It happened right in front of our eyes. And this is nowhere NEAR all of it.

#atomic monsters #destiel #destielgate #misha collins #dean winchester #castiel #jensen ackles #mishagate #deancas #spngate

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yanderefer · 4 years ago

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C-can you p-please do yandere onceler x reader oneshot but he is evil but still okay?? uwu

since you’re the first to ask whatever you say goes i guess. i’ve only ever seen the lorax movie and am not in that fandom so uh, hope his personality is alright. not a specific ask so i just did a scenario i thought of. i did my best. enjoy. there’s changing perspectives marked by the heart dividers. also i forgot he wears a hat so he is hatless.

Scenario: An Act of Kindness

Word Count: 3.5k

Despite being the town outcast, you were able to observe the daily events of the town square without being harassed. That was mostly because of the people who usually ended up in the square. Quite often would outside people come and try to pitch some crazy new idea; starry-eyed yet full of underlying greed. But, this guy was different.

He’d been coming around pretty often now; the thneed guy. In the beginning, you had just rolled your eyes seeing him setting up in the gazebo. You’d hear him sing about his ridiculous invention, only to be harshly booed by a larger and larger crowd. Now there was almost anticipation from the heckling people, waiting to chuck more tomatoes at the poor, strangely stubborn guy.

Seriously, why hadn’t he given up? He was chased away and made fun of every day and would leave to go to who knows where. Yet he always came back, continuing to sing that stupid song about thneeds.

So that leads to now. You doing something out of character.

The sun was setting as people left the square, bored after a day without tomatoes to throw. This was the first time you had seen him so upset. Although very obviously naïve, the black-haired man was overwhelmingly passionate about his…craft, so you felt sympathy. Looks like his guitar got smashed, which you supposed is why he looked so downtrodden.

You didn’t like seeing the stubbornly positive guy look so hopeless.

“Hey.” With your hands in your pockets you strolled toward the bench he was slouching on. The broken guitar was next to him. “Could I sit next to you?”

He didn’t respond. You frowned. It looks like he couldn’t even hear you. With a loud sigh, you kicked at the bench. “Dude. I’m talking to you. Your guitar is in my spot.” Finally, he looked up, eyes shooting open and staring for a moment too long before stuttering out an apology. You sighed and sat down once he moved the broken instrument. It was amusing how he was fidgeting, obviously nervous, and maybe not prepared for anyone to actually talk to him. “What’s your name?”

“Huh?” He rubbed his arm, still staring at you.

“I’m not just going to call you the thneed guy. What’s your name.”

“Oh! It’s Onceler.” He reached out his gloved hand, and you raised your brow. You gave your name in return and shook his hand, ignoring the dirty glove. After the handshake, he continued to fidget. Onceler would look around then look back at you, almost disbelieving. Were you intimidating or was he just not used to people?

“So, Onceler,” You resisted a chuckle at his name, “What’s got you down?” You rested your elbow on your leg and rest your head on your palm, watching him.

“Oh. Uh. Well, you see…” Onceler fidgeted his fingers, eyes looking anywhere but you. He seemed to still be confused as to why you were talking to him, cheeks flushing red. He kept mumbling out random filler words before letting out a large sigh, deflating. “A little girl broke my guitar.” You nodded, pursing your lips. Don’t laugh. Don’t laugh. “And, well, you know, this guitar kind of…meant a lot to me.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Now it’s broken and, well, I’ve got nothing to show for it.” Onceler held up the pink piece of clothing that was beside him, frown deepening, “I think that maybe now is the time I should give up. Throw in the towel.”

“What?” You were alarmed. You honestly felt really sad for Onceler. He was just a naïve guy chasing his passions, courageous enough to put himself out there. You couldn’t in good conscience just watch such a positive person become hopeless. “Why?”

“What do you mean why?” Onceler laughed, gaze sad, “I’m a failure. Everyone hates my thneeds. Everyone hates me. I shouldn’t have moved out here in the first place.” He covered his face with his hands, mumbling under his breath, “My parents were right.”

“Knock it off,” You smacked Onceler upside the head, and he let out a squeak of alarm. He grabbed the back of his head and gave you the most confused look you’d ever seen. “Don’t be all pessimistic. Doesn’t suit you.” You clicked your tongue when he still kept staring at you blankly, looking to have zero thoughts in his head.

You reached over and somewhat aggressively took his thneed, messing around with it in your hands before holding it out in front of you. You first put it on your head as a hat but felt it was stupid. Then you tried wearing it as a scarf...Success! Somehow this is the most comfortable thing you’ve ever worn.

Onceler sat there staring stupidly, and you turned to him with a grin. “Hey, it’s actually pretty good. You made this yourself, right?” Onceler nodded, eyes wide. “It’s creative, but I’m just going to use it as a scarf. How much is it?” You reached into your pocket, ignoring the spluttering mess beside you.

“Wait wait wait–you…you want to buy it!?” Onceler turned to you in absolute disbelief, making you roll your eyes.

“Isn’t that why you kept coming here? The price. Spit it out.” You snuggled a bit into the thneed, smiling. It gave you warm comfort, like the material was made of clouds, or the sun was being absorbed by it. You saw his face turn completely red, and you raised a brow. “What, did you not think of a price?”

“O–Oh! No, no not that. Um, it’s, well,” He told you how much it cost and you dutifully handed him the bills. It wasn’t that expensive, surprisingly. This was a very good deal, and you were forever comfy now.

“Nice.” You happily lifted the thneed and rubbed it on your cheek, not realizing you were smiling sweetly. You noticed the sun was almost behind the horizon and it was getting dark. Distracted, you missed the strangely reverent gaze the man beside you held. “Well, looks like I’m out of here.”

“Huh?” Onceler jolted, and you laughed. He was kind of an airhead.

“It’s getting late. You should probably head back too.” You stood up and patted your pants, readjusting the thneed around your neck.

“Will you…” Onceler suddenly spoke up, and you turned to face him. He stuttered a bit more then went silent, blushing brightly in shame. You rolled your eyes, putting a hand on his head. You ruffled his black hair, before pulling back with a grin.

“Don’t act so unconfident. I think you have a real future with this thneed thing. I believe in you.” You hoped that gave him some confidence. “So, you better come back tomorrow. I’d be bored if you didn’t.” You gave a crooked grin, tilting your head. Onceler frantically nodded, jumping to his feet and leaning forward before abruptly backing away. He gave a very shaky “goodnight” as he turned tail and ran, lanky body unsteady.

He tripped and fell on his face.

You covered your mouth.

He got back up and shouted an, “I’m okay!” before running off.

Once he was out of sight, you burst out laughing. You laughed more than you had in years.

»»————-———— ♡ ————————-««

Onceler ran all the back to the forest, barely paying attention to the goldfish throwing cards at each other. The bears were mostly retreating since it was night, and he couldn’t see the Lorax anywhere. With a relieved sigh he ran to his–for once animal free–home.

He entered and slammed the door behind himself, before sliding to the floor with his gloved hands over his face. Onceler could still feel the heat from his face despite his thick gloves.

Was that a dream? No, that really happened. Onceler didn’t even imagine it! That really just happened!

You really talked to him!

Since he’d been going to the town he’d been getting harassed left and right. The number of tomatoes and insults was uncountable (today somebody had actually destroyed his guitar!) but he always noticed somebody who actually listened when he presented.

It was you! Onceler smiled, still covering his face. He was so flustered. You always stood to the side and never threw anything or yelled at him. You came by every day for varying amounts of time, but today you actually approached him!

You were one of the reasons Onceler kept going to town because he knew if he went he could see you at least for a moment. He admired you so much. He was always so afraid to go up to you since you were so…unreachable. You were so perfect and confident and nice and flawless. And your name was just as wonderful as you were.

Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined that you would really come and talk to him; comfort him. You pat him on the head and said such nice things. You said you believed in him.

Onceler suddenly jumped to his feet in excitement, dancing around the room with uncontained giddiness. It was his first-ever sale and that was amazing in itself but it was so much more because you bought it. His first ever thneed that he made was sold to you. He didn’t know what to do. He was filled with so many emotions that he thought he was going to explode. This was just the first step. Onceler already thought you were great before, and this just proved his theory. Now he needed to wait for you to feel the same thing for him–and he would start by cultivating a great friendship!

You looked so happy wearing the thneed that Onceler painstakingly made. It made everything worth it. You told him to come back tomorrow so that’s what he would do! He already had another thneed done to present with.

…

Onceler had been playing for a while, using the spare ukulele he found in his car trunk. He ignored the booing and noticed they were out of tomatoes still–like yesterday. He was relieved since now you would see him without all that gross red gunk.

After playing for a long time, looking everywhere, he grew antsy.

Where were you?

Since he’d been coming here you’d at least walk by even if just for a minute. Onceler continued to play but slowly became more disheartened. Did you…not mean what you said? Did you realize that he actually was a failure?

With all those harrowing thoughts he slowly stopped playing and walked off the stage. The smaller crowd was almost disappointed to have their daily harassment cut short, but decided to gossip loudly instead. Onceler sat on the bench from the night before, holding a thneed to his chest for comfort.

“That’s pretty intense.”

“Gosh, I know, right? It’s not like they ever bothered to fit in with us, so I guess it’s almost comeuppance? Really harsh, though.”

Onceler perked up, hearing your name come up in their conversation. Worry washed away the disappointment from before. Did something happen to you?

“They probably won’t be leaving the house for a while, I reckon. I know I wouldn’t. Muggings never happen in this town.”

Onceler gripped the ukulele’s neck, and it creaked.

“What was even stolen? They don’t ever carry a bag or wallet. Not much money can fit in pockets.”

“That’s the funny thing–apparently the muggers tried to take their…what was it…it’s that thing that annoying guy's always selling.”

“The thneed thing?”

“Mhm. That. Anyways, they fought back against the muggers and ended up getting really roughed up. I mean, I heard those muggers also got pretty beat up too, but nobody knows where they are. It’s kind of funny that the muggers even took the thneed thing, especially when that person fought so hard to keep it. They went to a hospital, all for a piece of cloth.”

The ukulele creaked, then snapped. Onceler abruptly stood up, surprising the three older women behind him. “They were…hospitalized?” Onceler’s voice was even, no indication of being upset.

One woman gave him a weird look, before shrugging. “Mhm. But I heard they ran off right back home without being fully treated. They don’t like being around people. It’s why they never are around town.” The woman spoke with slight contempt, before scuttling off with her two friends.

Onceler kept holding the broken ukulele by the neck, mind spinning with the new overload of information. You got mugged. You didn’t comply because you didn’t want them to take your thneed. You got hurt. You got hurt.

And nobody cared. No, from what he could tell, those women were somehow happy about it. Onceler realized you never interacted with anyone when you stood close to the square. Everyone treated you like you were invisible.

An outcast.

Onceler ran through town, going up to random people and asking if they knew where you lived. Most gave him disdainful looks and ignored him, and some just yelled. Finally, a kid actually answered him by pointing in a direction.

“They live in that old house at the edge of town. I heard it’s haunted. You shouldn’t go, my mommy said the person living there is weird.” Onceler grit his teeth, forcing himself not to lash out. After running some more, he finally reached your house.

...A really run-down house.

It was worn down, the wooden walls old and unsafe looking, the grass around the house matted and uncared for. Onceler went to knock on the door before stopping himself. He went to the side and looked through the window instead, seeing you on the couch watching something on TV. You were wrapped in bandages in a bunch of places, with a large medicinal patch on your cheek and a swollen eye.

Onceler was relieved to know you were okay, before becoming enraged at how hurt you were. He saw a variety of medications on the table along with an opened first aid kit. You looked strangely serene in your situation, not upset in the slightest. Like you were used to it.

Onceler backed away from the window and furrowed his brows. He wanted to go in and confront you, ask why you did something so dangerous just to protect his useless work. But then he thought about it.

…This means you like him too, right? Why else would you fight to keep something he made?

Onceler rubbed the back of his head, happy but not fully. You really liked the thneed he made, so he didn’t want to give you a replacement. That one was important. It was the most meaningful since it was his first one. You were hurt and he needed a way to comfort you without being too overbearing. Plus, there was this leftover…anger?...in his chest that he needed to get rid of. Those muggers needed to suffer the consequences. Onceler thought about it a bit, then his eyes light up.

He knew what to do.

»»————-———— ♡ ————————-««

You were eating dinner when you heard a knock on the door.

That was new.

You dragged yourself to your feet. Only curiosity drove you to open the door, not really thinking if it could be dangerous. Nobody ever visited you. You opened the door, out of breath from walking.

“…Onceler?” You blinked a few times, wondering if you were seeing things.

“Ah–Yup! It’s me!” He smiled brightly, hands behind his back and rocking on his feet. You rose a brow.

“What are you doing here?”

“I heard rumors about what happened and got worried, so, well, I, uh, just asked around and, um, I also wanted to help so I decided to–”

“Just come in.” You left the door open and walked back to the couch, plopping down and breathing shakily. You closed your eyes briefly to steady yourself, still weak from the encounter last night. You opened one eye and stared at Onceler, seeing him standing in the middle of the room, staring. “What are you holding?”

Onceler jolted, before revealing the thneed behind his back.

“You got me another one? Thanks.” You appreciated that at least. Hopefully, it was free. You really liked those things and the muggers took your cash.

“O–Oh, no, I didn’t do that,” You frowned at him, “I thought that, um, wasn’t fair really.” You were confused. He saw your face and flushed red, “I got it back! For you. The first one. That those muggers took.” Onceler smiled proudly, walking over and presenting the thneed to you.

“Huh?” You hesitantly reached out a took it, “I–what? How?”

“I! Well, I just kind of,” Onceler twiddled his thumbs, looking away while still blushing, “I just got it back. I…found them. And took it back.” You studied him a bit, watching his jittery behavior. But then you looked at his face and saw two bright, innocent eyes. “Are you happy? Do you like it?” Onceler leaned forward, smiling hopefully.

“Yeah.” You nodded slowly, looking at the thneed closely. You move it around and hold it out in front of you. “Huh. It really is mine.” It had the marking you put on it after you bought it. A little initial in the corner of it. You shrug it around your neck, patting it back into place like it was yesterday.

“O–Of course! I thought you, well, I wanted you to keep my first one.” Onceler blushed and waved his hands. “Not in a weird way or anything! It’s my first sale so…it’s important you keep it.” You nod along, figuring it made sense.

“Thanks. I’m glad you got it back for me. Don’t know how you got it, but it makes me feel a lot better, so I don’t care.” You held it close and smiled, rubbing the soft material on your cheek again. “You can sit down next to me.” You gestured to the spot. Onceler brightened up and smiled before almost tripping as he rushed over. He sat down.

“I’m so glad you feel better.” Onceler rubbed his arm, head turned away shyly. “It really sucks that those horrible people did that.” You listened to him while looking at your thneed, nose twitching.

“Huh.” You tilted your head, “I think that’s a bloodstain.” Onceler tensed next to you, but you didn’t bother looking up. “I should probably wash it since it got dirty in the fight. It’s surprisingly sturdy.” Onceler let out a sigh and relaxed.

“Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. You should do that.” Onceler sounded strangely relieved. About what? You’ve got no clue.

“I’ll do it later. Want to watch a movie with me?” You rested your legs on the table, grabbing the remote. Onceler flushed with a bright smile.

“Of course!”

»»————-———— ♡ ————————-««

While you watched the movie, Onceler looked at the stained thneed around your neck, tempted to wash it right now. It was dirtied by the blood of those–Onceler shook his head. Thankfully you already came to your own conclusion as to how he got the thneed back.

“You’re not wearing your gloves today.”

“Huh?” Onceler blinked, snapping back to reality. He nervously looked down at his hands, “O-Oh. Well, I usually keep them on since I work with trees a lot…”

“Like chopping them down?”

“Once. I just harvest tufts now. I figure somebody would be mad if I cut down more trees, especially since I’m living in that forest for free.”

“That’s kind of you. But, since you aren’t wearing your gloves, why’d you bring an axe? I saw it on the ground by my door.”

“My axe?” Onceler twitched, looking away. He quickly recouped and smiled shakily. “I thought maybe I could help with your house a bit. Chop down some of the trees on the other side of the town away from where I live and repair the walls. That’s why I brought it.”

“Really? That’s sweet, I guess. You don’t have too. Plus, that axe was the rustiest axe I’ve ever seen so it could never cut down a tree anyways. Once I’m better we can work on the house together–only if you want to, though. I could buy us new axes too.” You smiled, making Onceler turn bright red again.

“That sounds super fun!” Onceler sat up straight and clasped his hands together in excitement. “Maybe I can sell more thneeds so we can keep buying materials.” Onceler’s foot kept tapping, body jittering with giddiness. You laughed into your palm, shaking your head slightly before nudging his shoulder.

“Sure. I’ll hold you to it.”

You went back to the movie, leaning back into the couch. Onceler followed suit but mostly watched you instead of the movie. He was amused at your questions from earlier, realizing you were a lot more unaware than you seemed.

Onceler hadn’t meant to bring his axe with him–he just got so excited to see you after he finally got your thneed back that he just threw it to the side and hoped for the best. At least he was smart enough to take his gloves off too. You bought what he told you, which meant you trusted him a lot. In regard to it being rusted, it was probably too dark for you to see how obviously red it was–the same for his discarded gloves.

It didn’t matter. You were happy you got your thneed back, and he was happy he got more opportunities to be around you. Now you didn’t have to worry about those muggers either, because you wouldn’t see them ever again.

Onceler covered his grin with his hand.

Nobody would.

#yandere male #yandere #yandere onceler #this is cursed #yandere fanfic #yandere oneshot #yandere fanfiction #male yandere #the onceler #onceler x reader #yandere x you #yandere x reader #onceler #yandere imagines

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rainbowsky · 3 years ago

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More on the Fan Fic issue

I have a few more asks about the issue raised the other day, some of which are long and go into detail on the 'wars' that have been happening on Twitter and AO3.

Sorry for grouping these but I wanted to put it all under a cut because these are long, and also in case people don't want to dig into these issues (which would be understandable).

Anonymous 1 asked:

"I am very strongly of the opinion that the BJYX term is still a fandom umbrella term" I agree. Mainly because Bjyx is the most popular. Many antis always say bjyx, and have no idea the others. So sometimes it's easier just to say bjyx instead of explaining all three. I myself more like "who cares as long as they happy." So I enjoy Yizhan in all contexts. Many bxgs I know also like that, mostly ibxgs. I think deep down all bxgs (no matter which position they prefer) just want Yizhan to be happy

Not sure we can be so certain about that last part, Anon (I think for a lot of people GG and DD are just characters in a smutty story they have in their heads), but I agree about the term being popular regardless of the type of fans people are.

From what I can see the BJYX term seems to be used 80-90% umbrella, 10-20% dynamic in both international and c-social media (for every 10 times you see the term used, only one or two of those usages - probably less - are referring to a dynamic). This is my totally unscientific estimation, but I think even 10-20% dynamic is being generous. The number of people who are fixated on a sexual dynamic aren't nearly as large as they'd like to believe.

Anonymous 2 asked:

about the promptfests - i’ve been on twitter since early 2020 and what i’ve noticed is that this influx bjyx-only promptfests started gaining speed once lots of rational voices started leaving the fandom recently either because a) new interests have caught their attention or b) the toxicity of the popular bxg circles on twitter have become too much to handle.

gdgdbaby was usually the organizer of dynamic-inclusive events, and she’s received lots, and lots, and lots of backlash by bxg, sometimes even by accounts with thousands followers, for using bjyx as a catch-all term. and as her interest in yizhan has since waned—hopefully for reasons unrelated to fandom toxicity—many of the people who were attracted to the welcoming environment she created distanced themselves as well.

zsww/lsfy fans have become an outnumbered circle who try their best to create exclusive events to avoid the “is bjyx a catch-all term” discourse, but never seem to gain as much traction as gdgdbaby (who has a sizeable following) or those who host bjyx-only events (who also have sizeable followings).

meanwhile the dynamic war has only become more and more hostile and bjyx is clearly the more populated group… ao3 is simply a battlegrounds, if i may dramatize the situation a little for the sake of humor, and the promptfests are a reaction to this irritating t/b discourse that has made bxg twitter completely inhospitable for me…and lots of other fans too.

(i’ve also noticed a huge reinforcement as of recently where ppl will call gg laopo, a milf, an omega, etc even outside of rpf (i.e. posting pictures of him at events and saying he looks pregnant or he’s going into heat) and it’s just… uncomfortable.)

(also please note i have a biased account of all of this drama bc many of my friends were harassed over it, and anyone who disagrees with my take may feel free to interject.)

I took the liberty of adding paragraph breaks because they are pretty important for some readers, particularly ND readers like me.

It's sad to hear how fucked up everything has become, but I'm not even remotely surprised. Toxicity leads to toxicity, and the whole idea of dividing up a RP fandom by sex position was misguided from the outset - no matter why it was done or how good the intentions might have been.

And yes, like I said, these people aren't just framing things this way for fan fic. This is how they talk about IRL GGDD.

I had written a lengthy essay here about homophobia in the fandom but deleted it all. Perhaps I'll post it separately at some later point. Suffice it to say that this stuff creates a climate that's often hostile for queer people. So much of it is deeply homophobic, whether people are aware of it or not.

It's really sad to hear about gdgdbaby being mistreated in any way. Anyone who steps up and sticks their neck out to help organize and coordinate activities that benefit a broader group of people should be celebrated and supported, not run out of town by an angry mob.

I've read some of her stories and even have one or two on my rec list. And here's someone who is not only writing good works, but also supporting others to write more good works. Such a shame.

Anonymous 3 asked:

Hello Mr. RBS! I think I can chime in a bit about the fanfic topic as I’ve watched this all unravel on twitter (where a majority of authors/readers are). I apologize if this gets long but it’s been something that’s also been on my mind.

I want to preface this by saying that I’m not a fan of the distinctions of dynamics as, like you said, the supposed line between real life and fanfic is long gone, so I’m not trying to be biased against one group over another.

Short answer to the question of, “is this retaliation?” : I do believe it is. (From here onwards I’ll be using bjyx as the dynamic term just for the ease of simplicity.) To understand why, I’ll have to explain with a bit of background info. On twitter, I’d say that there’s a quite large divide between bjyx and zsww/lsfy. That itself isn’t really a problem because people are free to like what they like and associate with whoever.

However there is a big problem where bjyx people are not just bjyx but also anti-zsww/lsfy. To the point where I’ve seen people say that they feel physically ill when they accidentally read zsww. I don’t think this type of behavior should exist in any dynamic bc in the end GGDD are real people with a real relationship behind this content and it’s just a gross fetishization at that point.

With all this happening, zsww/lsfy people have gotten more outspoken on how GG is often portrayed in those types of scenarios, mainly the over-feminization of him, bc it’s not just done in the context of fanfic but regular discussion of GGDD at this point. This tension between the dynamics kind of boiled over when the pregnant xz fest was announced, as you can take a guess at how that went over with zsww/lsfy people. lol.

But around that same time, another zsww/lsfy event was announced (I’m not sure if it’s the one anon was talking about) but the creator of the event suddenly got a ton of backlash for excluding bjyx, with the reasoning that bjyx is technically a part of lsfy. But the event was done to highlight zsww/lsfy (as all specific events are) bc the community and content for these dynamics are much less than bjyx.

Which is how we come back to the starting point of, is all this recent bjyx stuff retaliatory. I believe so bc the events (preg fest, dark event) are very specific prompts that target exactly what zsww/lsfy people have been outspoken against.

As to the point anon made about trying to drown out the tags, keep in mind that zsww/lsfy content is very minimal compared to bjyx and has only just recently started to gain more traction. I think most people would love to just peacefully exist in their own circles but I don’t see this problem between dynamics disappearing anytime soon.

Like I said with the above Anon, I've added paragraph breaks for ND readers.

What a mess.

I have absolutely nothing useful to say here about the fandom on AO3 and how it's managed by community members, but I do think it's unfortunate that people choose to be war-like rather than make space for diverse voices, and I think it's a real shame that some people have been essentially run out of the fandom because of this garbage.

Thanks for giving some context for how/why the major shift in tone of fan fic lately. I had no idea any of this was going on.

I urge people to work hard to give space for all voices and perspectives, and not just the ones they favor. I'd also urge people to reflect on how their thoughts, behavior and actions in the fandom might affect queer people in the fandom.

As always, we have no control over what other people do, say or think. All we have any control over is how we respond to what other people do, say or think. Hopefully we'll chose the path of peace and try to avoid fan wars or fights that only ruin the experience for everyone.

I guess one thing I'd ask any of the Anons who have written me about this issue - or anyone who has thoughts about it - is, what can we as readers/fans who care about diversity of voices and perspectives do to support that here and on AO3, without getting involved in any kind of war?

#fan fiction #fandom reflections #top bottom #ask

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mymadmedleyw · 3 years ago

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Fic Writer Review

I was tagged by @dp-marvel94 (I am just saying this is my very first occassion to by tagged in a thing like that, so filling this made my day really, thank you!)

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

22 – wow, that sounds many…

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

206.997, and more than the half belongs under one idea – that’s creepy…

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Oh, it’s many… once, I am into something, I have to write in that – surprisingly I am addicted to DP for nearly a year, and nothing else.

(But little bit of history, from the newest to the oldest: Danny Phantom, The Irregulars (that was really a short one), Guardians of Childhood/Rise of the Guardians (my very first finished multi-chaptered one was in that), Dark, Charmed (the old one, not the new series), Gravity Falls, Venom, Doctor Who, a crossover within Tangled: The Series and Milo Murphy’s Law, Death Note/Death Note: Another Note; and I had some ideas about a Rick and Morty and Gravity Falls crossover, and it seems I never uploaded here my concept about a not crossover Tangled: The Series idea, and either an independent one in Rick and Morty, hm… shame. Most of those are not finished. Okay, like 99% of it…)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Core (Danny Phantom), stand-alone, ~3k

What The Past Holds (Danny Phantom), wip, ~91k

Pitch’s Secret (Guardians of Childhood/Rise of the Guardians), finished, ~14k

We are not alone (Venom), really short one, ~1k

Phantom (Danny Phantom), stand-alone, ~2k

5. Which of your fic do you want more attention for?

Definitely it’s WTPH. It’s my current work. The idea about it came in December, and since that, I am working on that constantly. At first, I had ideas for eight chapters, and nothing else. Now, it grew into this monstrosity: a side-line (Bonds Over Time), and a collection that contains the deleted scenes or ideas that appeared in my mind and could fit into the story (Bits Of The Past), and also an entirely finished concept for Vlad’s past (Certain Moment Of Time), that could be connected to it too.

I also put many headcanons in that, and ticks of characters, and parallels, and layers that I just love: like Vlad having a sister and some details about his family background, Dan having Vlad’s memories too, how the explosion in the Nasty Burger happened and how Dan turned out like that… some precious things, really, but I won’t elaborate much, in case of anyone wants to give a read to it. Overall, I tried to make the TUE-mess into a somewhat more reasonable logical mess – if I managed to do that at all. I don’t know I’m just like a mother with a new-born with it: look, it’s my child! I made it! I developed it! here, hold it! and love it too, as much as I do! (Sorry, I don’t know how that metaphor came…)

6. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Even if it’s a kudo, or a keysmash as a comment, I write back. I mean, if someone writes – literally anything – and spends time with it, I write them back too. (And my very bad habit, that sometimes, if the comment hits an interesting thought, I tend to explain the background behind that more, and accidentally spilling some things I shouldn’t yet... In many cases, it’s like a brainstorming, and then I use that idea. I mean as, for example many of @dp-marvel94’s comments on ff, made me to realise some things, and how then I fixed those forgotten parts made my story along with it much better – once, I will list them, and you’ll be surprised how long is that list, and how obvious things I forgot about entirely…)

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Okay, I don’t have many finished story – shame on me. So, I’ll count the shorts. I think it’s then Phantom. It rolls around the idea what if in Forever Phantom, Danny can’t change back to Phantom, and his parents blame Phantom for the disappearance of Danny, and they start chasing madly the ghosts, making them leave the human realm once and for all – which means, Danny has to go with them. It’s really a short fic, but I very like this idea, and it was my very first in this fandom. (I was watching DP that time, I mean, getting familiar with it, but this idea got stuck in my head as I watched that episode, so that was my introduction here. Also, I watched my very first DP episode that time, which means, less then a year ago, so, I am that newbie here…) I am not spilling the end of the story, but it doesn’t have a very happy end I could say.

8. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Uh, yes? I have a crossover within Tangled: The Series and Milo Murphy’s Law. It’s unfinished, but that time I thought Milo and Varian have the same vibe, including clumsiness. It was only a short idea that time, but it’s definitely worth once to continue or finish somehow. I have a crossover within Rick and Morty, and Gravity Falls. That is standing within my very big idea, but it’s halfway written on my original language and English and that’s like after how a certain trilogy end, but it has some mentioning of ideas I never finished, so yeah… it’s not even published anywhere. Maybe, once, I’ll decide what language I prefer for that, and translate the other part and then, hardly, but I’ll finish it some day... – or, never, it actually would be a very big bite if I try to imagine it.

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don’t remember to that. I mean, my main story (WTPH) kind of not everyone’s preference, ’cause of Dan, so that’s already divides the readers and I haven’t got all in all many comments yet on my stories (kudos are appreciated too, I am shy too to leave comments on fics, so don’t worry, I get it), so I think I haven’t got any. But I'd be curious to experience if someone reads one of my stories and leaves behind a comment that then criticizing it. I mean, I’d be open to learn what part is not fitting, or just too much. (I am surprised that no one ever mentioned my ’weird’ sentences. I mean for me those make sense, but those make sense for a native English person too? I’m always worried about that…)

10. Do you write smut? if so what kind?

Uh, yeah, I did. Not very proud of it, though I don’t have a heart to orphan that work. I mean, it belongs to me too. Sometimes I wonder to delete some of my works, but then I realise, no, that’s me, I won’t pretend where I came from, and shove into the dustbin my mad thoughts... All in all, my stories now, for a while, are much more family-friendly – if, anything within DP could be really counted as ‘family-friendly’…

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah, I was very proud of my story back then, called Metamorphosis (Death Note), and I had a crazy idea and tried to translate it. So now, the first chapter is out there both in English and both in my native language, but I got stuck at the second chapter. I couldn’t translate wisely and logically the title of it to give out the many meaning it has in English. And I once tried to translate California (Gravity Falls) to English, but that would be a hard work, so I left it behind – maybe once…

Over that I sometimes has a crazy idea to translate back and forth my stories, no, beyond that, I haven’t had a fic translated from anyone else. And I think I am the only masochist that it ever crosses my mind, I guess…

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, not really. I’d be curious to once do that – maybe, but I’m not sure...

(To tell the truth, I’d be worried about that. I’d be glad to do that once, but I am anxious if I could understand my co-writer, or not. I mean, do you have any idea that I have to give five reads to any longer comments to understand it? I understand those (and I really love getting those!), but I have to give many reads to make sure I understand those well, and then, making sure, I answer back right, and my sentences make sense. My fics have ’fancy’ words, and I love working in English, but sometimes it’s a curse it’s not my native one. So then, I’m constantly worried about interactions, if I receive well something, and if my sentences are understandable for others or not. So, in short, you can see my struggle here… same reason I don’t do Invisobang, but I am considering it...)

13. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I’m not very much a ship-type. But I count Danny and Sam, as a fix point. (Danny and Val was nice and I’d have been very glad to see them in more episodes, but let’s face it, that wouldn’t work, because both of them are too stubborn to choose their other life and if once, they would face with each other, knowing everything about the other, they’d remain allies or at most very good friends.) If, the question is, what are the ships in my head (but not necessarily just ‘romantic’) that I prefer to read, well, it’s Dan and Valerie. I love their dynamics, especially in Deliverance. I don’t know why I just love reading it.

For other reasons I ship Dani and Valerie. Though I can’t write romance and stuff like that, but in one of my planned ideas they are dating - sort-of...

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Okay, there are many. Surely, it’s my Gravity Falls story, called California, but that’s a huge one, and the first one in a trilogy (plus some additional side-lines), and mainly in my head for years, so yeah… I think I won’t ever reasonably finish that as it should be finished. A Tale of Fords (Gravity Falls) could be count as one too. Oh, and Envision and ties (Doctor Who). Sad to say, but yeah, I am always saying, “maybe once”, but I am not sure when…

15. What are your writing strengths?

Okay, this is a funny thing, but I’ve realised I can’t deal with many characters at the same time. So, I think my strength are dialogues and interactions within two people. And I get into their thoughts, so I guess if I have to word it somehow: it’s character-studies then.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Can’t handle more than two people. No, seriously, somehow it always turns out, the third is unconscious, sleeping, leaves the room, and so on. I’ve just recognised it recently, and it was a hilarious recognition…

I am also bad at actions, like very very bad, I don’t even try that, because my brain just simple can’t come up with fight-scenes at all. I think I only can write character-studies, and nothing else.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Oh, man… does it count I am not a native English-user? So, technically I ‘always’ write dialogues in another language? But jokes aside, sometimes, I have ideas that the people use another language, and I am like “are you aware, you can’t even write English slang?”, so then, I gave up. Right now, though, I am planning to add ASL in one of my future ideas. I am wrecking my mind, how to do that nicely – but that’s only a forming plan, and dated for next year, currently, I am only collecting ideas for that.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Does it count my very first fic was a fanfiction of one of my friend’s fanfiction in high school? She wrote a really good story – not shared anywhere, we were just giving each other the hand-written exercise book (oh, the old days…). If I remember well, it was a crossover within Supernatural and Queen of the Damned (the movie, not the book). I had no idea about Supernatural, but the story was good, but I was not satisfied with the end, and in secret I wrote another end for it, to myself. I’m not sure where is that anymore, but I clearly remember that was my very first written stuff, and that’s how my origin story began and how is I am here now.

(Oh, and once, I wrote a H2O fanfiction short story to my sister as a name-day present, in which she was a mermaid, discovering her powers during a holiday at a beach (we were at that time in Croatia in a family holiday, so the timing was fitting), and that was one of my very first fandoms to write in it too… God, I have no idea why I wrote it down, it just crossed my mind, and I remember I thought it was cute, I think she was eleven or twelve that time, so I am not sure she appreciated as much as I found it fun to write that…)

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

This is mean… anyway, currently it’s WTPH, for obvious reasons. But I am very proud how the Angst Week turned out (my work for that is called Certain Moment of Time). First of all, I doubted I would be able to write for every day, since I planned to do the whole DannyMay, but things turned out differently and I am still sad, I haven’t done many. But I did not just managed to write for all days, but all could be counted under one idea, and also each of the chapters could be read independently at the same time. It includes a little bit of background story about Vlad, about a rewritten time, his struggles at the hospital, things around Danny’s birth, how Danny managed to survive the Portal incident, how Vlad was informed about the Ghost Boy, and that actually Danny’s separation was just a ‘plan B’ that Vlad tried to avoid… it’s complicated to describe the many things in that, but when I feel WTPH an unescapable mess, and I am frustrated by the lack of proper words to finish the coming chapters, CMOT is my absolute favourite. And I love the whole idea about it. No, I’ll be honest, that’s my beloved so far (just because it’s finished). But I like so much too my idea about Dan and Dani in Bonds Over Time, how they try to live together a normal life… okay, let’s admit it, this question is mean, I seriously can’t tell, and I am thinking right now only my current ones…

20. What fic are you most proud of?

Okay, this is mean too. I am proud of my old works as much that I always go back to them when I am in a nostalgic mode. (I haven’t read any of my old ones in ages, because I try to avoid distractions, and knowing myself, I’d start thinking about the continuation and never finishing my current works at all...)

I am proud of Pitch’s Secret, because that was my very first multi-chaptered one idea that I actually managed to finish. That in fact, gave me the courage to start working on a multi-chaptered DP one. (My original plan was to be brave and aim doing eight chapters, to top the five, and I would have been very proud of myself, but instead now it’s way longer than that original idea, and I seriously don’t know when it will end – twenty chapters maybe?)

I think, if I don’t include the previous question. (It’s the same, isn’t it?) I am very proud of the first chapter in my Doctor Who fic. That doesn’t tell anything about the plot or about anything, that just gives a very good atmospheric background. Every time I read that, it gives me shivers.

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okay, I don’t know who to tag, anyone who feels like it, serve yourself, I am curious... :)

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patroclusonly · 4 years ago

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Well y’all, here is my awaited (by like, two people) really long post explaining why I think Bobby is not that great of a character and why I hate his relationship with Buck.

(this was supposed to be for a reblog but it’s way tooo long for that)

Be warned, this will be me pointing out everything he did wrong and why the way he acts with Buck is just wrong too in a very direct way and with lots of swearing because that's how I express my anger in writing. So, if you like Bobby you probably won’t like this.

I will put a cut here so only the people that want to read it, do it

To start let me say what I think about the man.

Bobby is the most boring character in the show. There, I said it.

Yeah, his backstory is super sad and whatever but he’s just bland and I think the reason the fandom loves him so much and loves to see him as a father figure is because he’s an old, non-threatening, white man. He said two coherent thoughts in season one and treated Buck like a kid and everyone bought this “nice, wise and always right” idea of him.

Also, his natural stand is the ‘welcome to chili's’ stand. Yes. You know it is. Okay, keep going.

To be someone so “mature” and “wise”, he has the emotional maturity of a child. He snaps when he’s angry, he gives the silent treatment and he changes the subject when he feels threatened.

Every time he’s mad at himself or about something in his life, he snaps at the team or even at people in calls, he gets defensive when someone calls him out on his self righteousness and his superiority complex. Now, to expand that i’m going to give some examples:

-He snaps at Chimney when they learn about the blood thing and he gets mad at the fact that now he has something good in his life because he doesn’t deserve it and so he’s all moody at work???

-He snaps at Hen days after asking for her help to stay sober,

-He snaps at Buck when he says he read his book and even gets physical, pushing him against the wall

*Now, because I have a thing against men and threatening physical movements, I’m going back to episode one and how he physically moves to make Buck feel scared (that he might hit him) when he walks towards him in the roof, making him back up.* (yes, Buck was afraid of his reaction and since he’s Buck he wasn’t just gonna stand up to him, much less because it was Bobby, and I’m pretty sure he (bobby) knew that)

-Also, the way he says “what did you just said to me?” to Buck in 3.18 like Buck had just insulted him. That was just a stupid and out of place reaction, not a reaction of a boss in the middle of a disaster but it will be talked about later.

-That one time when he snaps at the owner of the building where the floor collapsed during the wedding

-That one time he snaps (and again, gets physical and pushes him against a wall) at the dude in the episode with the vegan protesters because he can’t handle how he’s feeling about Buck and the lawsuit. (I’m vegan so yeah, fuck that dude, but the point is: that was another immature and unprofessional reaction)

(I could take that time when Michael is telling him he’s done enough (after harry sets a fire on purpose to play firefighter) and Bobby says “What’s that supposed to mean?” But I won’t because that’s just another immature reaction but for different reasons)

Going to the silent treatment or change of subject when he feels threatened:

-When Chimney is telling the team he proposed to Tatiana and Bobby is standing as Chim says “silently judging right there with that smirk on your face” (which is the vibe he gives all the time, thinking he knows best, and now quoting De Luca, who was a little jealous but a lot right saying “you come in here with your nose in the air and your eyes looking down”) then he just says “you know what? you’re upset. Let’s drop it.”But Chim keeps pushing and then he just attacks back.

-Also, he wants things his way and isn’t willing to understand the other’s reason for something. “I’m not gonna be satisfied with stolen kisses and take out containers. I don’t like keeping us a secret. It feels like lying.” (remember when Eddie says to Buck “a lot of Is there”? mhmm) and the fact that he worded it that way makes it worse. Also, “it feels like lying” really? what are you, five?

-another moment that shows his immaturity and stupid things he’s said: “Well what am I supposed to do? Forget it, forget all the mean thing she said to her?” Are you a grown man talking about your wife (who can fix her own shit, thank you very much) and her mother, or about a little kid getting bullied bro?

Jumping to the next time we see Athena’s mother. In episode 7 from season 3 he literally calls her so she would make Athena stop investigating Emmeth’s case and after she convinces Athena to tell them everything, he tells her he can do it, like he’s giving her his permission or his blessing to do it? She was gonna do it anyway, fool.

another stupid line: “he called me a liar and it stung.” why does he sound like a five year old all the time?

another stupid thing he said because he doesn’t take blame in anything apparently (and this is going to be mentioned again when I get into his relationship with Buck but I’m going to talk about it now too) Athena jokes about not inviting Buck over anymore because something always happens and Bobby says “That’s a great idea. None of this would’ve happened if you hadn’t invited him over for dinner.” (HMMMMM)

Also, he’s mocking and condescending. But well, I don’t have the time to find all the scenes for that. Let’s just say he is with Chim sometimes (maybe some other character, let me know if you have someone in mind) and then with Buck the rest of the time and you can clearly see it.

There are some other examples that could be used here but will be used to analyze his and Buck’s relationship in this next part.

Now the idea was to divide this by season and try to organize by episode but it got a little messy. You can understand everything anyway and that’s what matters, okay?

Season 1:

You can see the potential for a father-son relationship, but all the patience and understanding he has at the beginning is gone after the roof scene (personally, I think it’s all about projecting his own past mistakes and that why he looks so angry and resentful).

He goes from “He just needs a little direction” and explaining things like why Buck can’t go into the hospital with the baby to “leave your problems behind” and kind of shaming him for sleeping around? Saying “we work with women side by side” as if Buck was harassing someone?

“So you wanna disrespect yourself, that’s fine with me. You wanna disrespect all these women that you chase around, that’s on them.” He’s clearly way too old school and apparently doesn’t understand that as long as there’s consent, there’s nothing wrong with sleeping around, it’s not something to be ashamed of. And Bobby (the whole team, honestly but Bobby has some defining lines) make him feel so ashamed to the point that once he feels bad about himself when he wants to start having sex again.

Then after Buck comes back to the station with the truck, after helping with the little girl, he asks Bobby if he’s giving him another chance and Bobby says he’s out of chances and that he “failed to communicate” how lucky they are to do what they do.

To which Buck answers: “You’re wrong, Bobby. I absolutely do get what a privilege it is to serve here, and you know what? You were right to fire me. I was a punk. I still am one. But I’m a punk who understands what he lost.” I think between that and the “I don’t have anything else.” he said in the roof scene, Bobby should’ve stopped doubting Buck’s commitment to the job.

But he stil thinks throughout the seasons that he doesn’t take it seriously and that it’s all a game for him.

In episode two, you can see once again the potential to this relationship when Buck thinks he’s letting Bobby down and Bobby takes the time to sit with him and explain that it’s okay to feel like that after losing someone and that he should talk to someone. And he helps him past that fear (when he tells him to do the maneuver) because he knows he’s just afraid and needs a little push.

(Also, maybe this is not as important but he says “this is not a family” to Buck, but when they’re in the hospital with Chimney after the rebar thing he says “his family is right here”? Which is it man?)

(Also pt 2, I don’t like tatiana but he was super rude. “this is not about love, it’s about decency”. How about you find a better way to phrase your thoughts bro, because somehow you come out with the rudest thing to say every time.)

In episode three, Buck insists about knowing about his little book and Bobby just, pushes him against the wall?? And everyone is like, okay with it??

In episode fours he relapses (still don’t understand what triggers him?But I guess alcoholism is a complicated thing). Buck and Hen help him and he’s all snappy with Hen.

Now, with the flashbacks you can see how he’s been an alcoholic for years and his wife tells him that she thought he would do everything to stay sober so he “wouldn’t be caught at work again.”

And he says “I’m strong. I’m unbreakable. I’m superman. I go into burning buildings and I come out without a scratch. That’s me.” You can see why he projects so much on Buck, but he’s projecting about the wrong thing.

Buck doesn’t think he’s invincible, he just would do anything to save people. Even put himself in danger. And yeah, thinking he can do anything while in the uniform is something that we see him say but it’s still not the same thing.

(And this is just me being petty about how bland he is but that scene is supposed to be sad and it’s just meh. His wife tells him to leave because she can’t see him and he gives the blandest (and kinda rude considering the situation) “then what?” and when she tells him “I’ll forgive you, just not tonight.” he just goes out again and keeps drinking.)

Also, we know he spent years working while drinking but he can’t let Buck work while just sleeping around

Okay, I kinda lost the episodes’ numbers here but when Buck starts seeing Abby and he asks Bobby for advice, his advice fucking suck.

“Why don’t you try something new, just once, getting to know her.” Now, listen here, my boy Buck wanted that intimacy shit. Remember when he asked for truck girl’s number in episode one? That was him wanting more, but he hadn’t been lucky there so just, meaningless sex was the other option for closeness.

“If you’re interested in her, a woman like that deserves chivalry.”

“Any woman with substance and experience has lived a life and she’s gonna come with some baggage.”

He is the definition of old school sexist. My man, every woman deserves chivalry, okay? And please rethink how you value a woman’s worth, thank you.

(Another comment about episode eight: He was snappy and mad a himself and just drops the bomb on Chim about his plan of killing himself???Go to therapy bro, Chimney did not needed that weight on him.)

Entering season 2 (which doesn’t have that much scenes between them)

Let’s jump directly to the famous “I feel like, if I ever did that, you would yell at me.” that Buck says because he’s so right. He’s always treated like a reckless kid that doesn’t think things through but the fact is that he’s really smart and his plans and the times he’s jumped in to save people have worked out just fine?

You can see the difference between how he treats Buck, who has been working for over a year now, and how he treats Eddie, who is supposedly a probie, from the start.

And as a mutual pointed out not long ago and it stuck with me, Bobby plays favorites and Eddie is clearly his favorite. He can do no wrong and doesn’t need to be told what to do. He has Bobby’s trust without even working for it and Buck, who’s been there working his ass off for the recognition (not the approval) that he is good at his job (because it’s everything for him), gets nothing but being told off over and over.

In Bobby Begins Again we learn that after he almost drank himself to death, Bobby gets sober again and tries to come back as fast as he can to work and he just wants the big boss to make it happen. Doesn’t stop to think maybe he’s not ready yet, he just wants to go back to work to, as he says, “atone for what I’ve done in my own way and if you won’t let me do that then send me some place that will.” (also, again, and example of wanting for things to go his way, no matter what)

He also doesn’t even stop to think about how much he fucked up and that, even though he thinks he’s ready to go back, everyone else might not think that. (Also, other reason as to why he projects so much on Buck)

Then 2.18 happens. Everything starts to go wrong for Buck and good for Bobby.

Bobby goes back to work and Buck has months of recovery after the truck bombing. That was aimed for Bobby. And to which he never apologised or said anything about.

They can’t fire the “guy who was a hero on the 6 o’clock news” but they can not let back the guy that was actually crushed, because the “hero” doesn’t allow it.

He’s looked as a hero but everyone forgets that it happened because of him in the first place.

Season 3:

In episode one, Bobby thinks Buck is ready to come back. Then the blood clots happen and he starts projecting again.

“I thought I could handle it. Lied to everybody, ignored the pain. I don’t want him making the same mistakes that I did. The job should mean a lot, but it shouldn’t mean everything. He’s gotta learn that.”

Buck was out for five? six months? And the blood clots were something he couldn’t see coming. It’s not that a month happened and he wanted to go back, even when he wasn’t fully healed. He did everything right but still, Bobby was projecting through his own past mistakes.

Also “The job should mean a lot, but it shouldn't mean everything. He’s gotta learn that.” Bobby should only be worried about Buck being able to do his job because other people depend on him, not try to teach him some life lesson. And Buck was able to do his job, he passed the recertification, the clots were just a set back. He should’ve been able to come back after healing from that.

Athena sees how Bobby is bringing feelings into it. [“He’s not my kid”]

“No. But he’s also not you. Maybe he’s making the same mistakes you did. Maybe he’s not.”

Bobby says “Just wait and see?” and I thought he would understand and he would let Buck back and wait to see if he actually had a reason behind his doubt.

“You gotta let them grow up sometime.” Athena says, clearly seeing that Bobby is too attached to Buck and does (kinda) try to protect him like a kid.

(Now, from here on I forgot (again) to write down some of the episodes’ numbers so it’s a bit of a blur but I’ll keep talking about how Bobby keeps projecting and lying)

We know that Bobby gets a call to talk about if Buck and his return to work. Let’s keep that in mind for a second.

“It’s the blood thinners. The department is concerned about liability issues and since the doctors haven’t figured out what’s causing the clots.” He lies. Right to his face.

“Well, Buck if we were out on a call and something happened to you…” He acts all concerned about how they can’t be worrying about him while on a call. Let’s remember now how Chimney got a rebar through his head and got stabbed and within a month he was back, and no one was worried about him getting any side effects in the job.

“Then I would have two paramedics standing next to me. I would be fine.”

“They can’t do this to me. You can’t let them take away my job.”

“Out there in the world, helping people. That is where I belong. That is where I have spent five months fighting to get back to. And now you’re gonna tell me that I can’t?”

“I don’t want light duty, okay. And neither would you. I quit.”

Now those are all things Buck said and Bobby, at any moment, could’ve said something like “I was the one to tell them you weren’t ready but as soon as you get cleared, you’ll be back.” But he chose to keep quiet, to keep lying.

And then he dares to say “Buck has us”? Really? Like he wasn’t the actual cause of everything Buck was going through.?

Then Buck goes back for light duty as fire marshall and Bobby says: “For what is worth, I’m proud of you. I’m glad you didn’t throw away your career ‘cause you had a little set back.” (and dares to be annoyed with Buck for how he is as a fire marshall)

“I promise you, your place will still be here for when you’re ready” PROJECTING.

The whole scene with Bobby, Athena and Buck at dinner is Bobby being a coward because he knows what he’s doing is wrong. The projecting and lying.

“You’re not ready, that’s what I told them when they asked.”

“You’re the reason they won’t let me back?” That was a clear question, basically “you told them not to let me back” yet Bobby deflects and denies it’s his fault:

“Medication is the reason.”

Athena tries to help and says “Bobby is just worried about you, that’s all.” and to try and get Buck’s focused anger out of Bobby she says “We all are.” But she made it clear before that she thought he should let Buck back.

“I thought you were my friend.”

“I am your friend. I am also the captain of almost twenty other firefighters whose life and safety depend in the decisions I make and I can’t put them at risk if you’re not operating at 100%...”

“Buck, I know that you went through a lot in that tsunami and maybe you feel like you can survive anything…”

Now, for those last quotes I would like to remember the “I’m strong. I’m unbreakable. I’m superman.” dialogue and the fact that Bobby never cared if Chim was at 100% or if he himself was at 100% when he was asking to go back to work that time in Bobby Begins Again.

Also, that night before Buck tells him about the lawsuit, he still doesn’t apologise.

In episode five, when Athena jokes with Michael about not inviting Buck over anymore because something always happens Bobby says “That sounds like a great idea. None of this would’ve happened if you hadn’t invited him over for dinner.” My initial reaction to this was EXCUSE YOU BITCH??? but what this actually tells me is that he was never planning to tell Buck the truth about him being the reason he couldn’t go back to work.

Now this is both the fucking funniest and the fucking worst thing because this fucker really doesn’t see how wrong his is:

“I don’t treat Buck any differently than I do any other firefighter under my watch.”

And I think even people that do like Bobby can see the bullshit in that.

Buck is literally the only firefighter that gets treated differently. And you’d think that since everyone seems to believe their relationship is “father-son” like it would be a good thing for Buck, but no. He’s the one always getting screwed over while the rest can do whatever they want without any consequences.

And we’re gonna quote the lawyer now because even though he used Buck’s lack of knowledge about how attorney-client relationship works, he makes some pretty on point arguments:

“It’s relevant because it illustrates how everyone except mister Buckley is allowed to return to the job no matter the injury or infarction.”

“You asked my client for his help that day. That’s exactly what he did, without hesitation, he helped you get sobered up and you returned to your full duty as captain of the 118. (...) So isn’t the only difference between your off duty relapse and mister Buckley’s that he actually did everything in his power to help you return to your job?”

I think the city tried to settle the lawsuit with so much money for a reason, don’t you?

You can also see how Buck, the one that was actually affected by what Bobby did, doesn’t hold any resentment towards him and is just glad to be invited to the rage room thing. And is the one to apologise AGAIN, when Bobby hasn’t apologised once.

“Brass didn’t want the headache, they’re afraid of the bad press (...) They gave me the option to transfer you, they understood how I might not want you back after everything you put us through.”

Put them through what? Honestly. Buck was the one crushed. Buck was the one left behind. Buck was the one lied to. Buck was the one doubted and betrayed by one of the people he trusted the most. The rest was put through...? some truth thrown in their faces?

In episode six, Bobby tells Athena “Well, he’s signed every liability waiver and release forum that the department threw at him. Pretty sure we could drop a piano in Buck’s head and he wouldn’t be able to sue the city for it.”

And then later he says “I don’t know what I’m doing. He just, he doesn’t think things through. He acts and reacts and that leaves the rest of us to have to deal with the fall out.” I would like a list of the times Buck did something that actually affected the rest of them in a bad way aside from the lawsuit where everyone was just left with hurt feelings, please and thank you.

Buck takes his job seriously. I would say more than anyone else. Because for Buck the job is the most important thing in his life, unlike the rest of them because they all have families to put first.

Athena, again, because she’s a queen that he doesn’t deserve, sees that Bobby’s just angry and has hurt feelings.

Buck is finally back and of course, because he’s Buck, he doesn’t just shut up and obeys, and Bobby says:

“You know Buck, someday you’re gonna figure out when to stop pushing and learn some patience. I hope we’re both alive to see it.” He’s talking all patronizingly again and he uses the word “learn” (which is something important, they way he always uses that or implies that with Buck) because he still sees Buck as a kid that needs to learn a lesson.

Hen, because she’s another queen, also sees that Bobby is being too emotional and unprofessional with Buck and Bobby says:

“I can see that he’s trying. It just still seems like he doesn’t get it. Like this is all a game to him.” Which honestly, what the actual fuck. Remember that speech Buck gave Bobby in season one when I said that’s the last moment Bobby should’ve thought Buck didn’t take his job seriously? Well, apparently even though he’s been working for two years now, to him, he takes his job less seriously now. Crazy, right?

Hen, beautiful smart and objective queen Hen, explains to him that if it was all a game to Buck, he could be fucking around with the millions (MILLIONS) he was offered on the lawsuit, but that he chose to go back to work and that Bobby is just being selfish (she doesn’t say selfish but we reading between lines here) by holding him back.

Apparently, Bobby kinda gets it and is ready to let Buck back in for real.

Then the scene where Buck helps the lady with the dude in the windshield happens and Bobby is called to the hospital because emergency contact? Buck explains what happened and Bobby, because he’s so fucking rude without even noticing how that makes everyone else (mostly Buck) feel, says:

“‘cause you jumped in and saved him. Probably didn’t even occur to you to worry about yourself.” He says this like Buck just proved to him that he had a reason to not let him back.

“Yeah, I know. I know. I didn’t think, just rushed in like I always do. I guess it’s like, the uniform is my costume. You know, I put it on and suddenly I’m brave and I’m strong and make a difference. Feels like without it I’m not much of anything.” (That last line broke my fucking heart btw) But here you can see Buck knows he’s impulsive, but he’s not really reckless. He can’t help his impulse to save people, it’s who he is. (what bobby isn’t naturally, but that’s another topic we’re not going to talk about right now)

I think here is when Bobby finally starts to understand that Buck is not a kid that doesn’t understand what he has and needs to be taught a lesson.

“Does that mean you are ready to let me back for real?”

“Doesn’t matter if I’m ready, you are. It’s time for me to get out of your way.” This line says a lot. He finally understands that he can’t just hold Buck back because he sees his own mistakes on him and that he was doing that before. Buck is ready and has been ready for a long time but he just now sees that it’s not up to him to decide over Buck’s life like that.

(For this next part we’re going to remember how I said that the only one to ever really suffer the consequences and to be treated differently is Buck)

In episode seven, Bobby finds out Eddie’s been street fighting. He listens to Eddie and understands, doesn’t judge him, doesn’t get mad for putting everyone at risk by coming to work injured. He doesn’t even tell him “hey, maybe you should take some time off and figure your shit out.” He just send him to therapy and lets him keep working like nothing happened.

In episode nine, when Hen hits the girl (as in crashes with the ambulance, yk, not actually hit her), everyone is sure that it’s not her fault and they let her return to duty right away, she’s the one to ask for some time off.

And everyone doesn’t doubt for a second that the accident wasn’t her fault, doesn’t judge her at all. (which is fine because it wasn’t her fault but my point is, would’ve Buck been the one in this situation, I don’t know if it would’ve been as easy to resolve)

When Buck is worried about Bobby and the radiations thing, he asks him how he feels and if he’s hiding symptoms, and Bobby thinks he’s annoying. But maybe that’s what he should’ve done with Buck when he was the one recovering instead of just assuming and lying and keeping him from returning to work.

In episode sixteen, Hen just “felt like breaking every rule in the book” and does what she think is right no matter what (which was actually right and we understand but that’s not the point). We’re gonna add some quotes here:

“You can do what you want, I’m doing this.” She says to Chimney like there was any other option for him.

Everyone praises her and is proud of her. Then Bobby comes in:

“Feels like this is about more than Anton. That girl, the cello player. You’re still thinking about her.”

She knows what she did was wrong and asks “How much trouble am I in?”

“Patient didn’t die. No one’s lodged a complaint. It’s a great save. Don’t do it again.” That's it.

He doesn’t get mad, doesn’t reprimand her, doesn’t suspend her. Doesn’t say “Hey, you just did a really reckless and impulsive thing that broke many rules and I’m sorry but I have to reprimand you . Also, maybe you should take some time off? Go to therapy. Chill. Learn that even though you were right, you can’t just pull that shit at work.”

In episode eighteen, they’re talking about saving Abby’s fiance after Bobby finds out, and I’m going to put the dialogue first and then talk about it.

“Stop. You’re too close to this. This is too risky.”

“Well, I am willing to take the risk.”

“It’s not yours to take. You can’t just rush into any dangerous situation and assume it’s gonna be okay. ´Cause it’s not and I am tired of being on the wrong side of those hospital doors.”

“Bobby, I am not Athena.”

“What did you just say to me?”

Well, first of all, his priority should be doing the job, saving as many people as they can. Buck is WILLING to take the risk to save both people and it is his to take. And not only because he promised to Abby he would save Sam, but because it’s who he is. He saves people, no matter the risk for him. (which again, three(? years of knowing him and Bobby still doesn’t understand)

Also Bobby, hun, if you’re tired of seeing your team (and Athena) in the hospital, maybe you should reconsider your life choices because you’re captain of a group of people that literally puts themselves in harm’s way to help other people for a living.

In conclusion, Bobby is kind of a hypocrite that projects a lot, is immature, resentful and has issues expressing how he feels properly, most of these things are always directed at Buck and that’s why I don’t like him and their relationship.

You have reached the end! Amazing. This was a really long rant honestly but I believe everything I wrote here, so hopefully y’all understand my perspective and I don’t gain haters for this

I think I make some pretty good points.

Okay, if you really read all that, thank you! It took me a long time lol

(Tagging you because you asked: @angelcamael) (And my girl @himbo-buckley who is always there to listen to me rant about this)

#can y'all see what i mean by this?#like bobby had potential #but he's just anoter boring entitled white man #and his and buck's relationship is just so wrong #and weird #and we do not stand bobby in this house #is this a meta?#i'm going to tag this as a meta because you say this is a meta boo #meta #911 meta #bobby meta #buck meta #anti bobby nash #evan buckley #911 fox #fuck bobby meta

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auspiciousinformant · 4 years ago

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Core Character Ranking - No Straight Roads

At this point with the game having been out for well over four and a half months, I figure that with having a small piece of fiction under my belt, and with the fandom having cooled down from the initial release but still hot enough for content to steadily be coming out from the fanbase, now is a good time for me to share my thoughts on No Straight Roads - rather, what I call the Core Characters of No Straight Roads.

I call them this because they are the collective protagonist main characters and antagonistic bosses - not filling up one bucket or another quite satisfactory. I might even make this into a series if anyone cares enough to hear my thoughts on other pieces of fiction. If you’re interested, continue below the line.

Oh, also, spoilers for No Straight Roads if you still care about that.

Disclaimer before continuing onwards - I’ve never actually played No Straight Roads! I’m not exactly a person with enough wealth to throw at my own interests and hobbies, but I feel I’ve absorbed enough through culture osmosis, 100% walkthroughs of the game, and other people’s interpretations of the game to be able to make my own informed opinions on the characters.

Also, this isn’t a “bosses” ranking list - this is a character ranking list. Meaning that individuals are going to be ranked rather than the whole. For example, Sayu will be divided into the four members behind Sayu (hereafter refered to as “Team Sayu”) as well as Sayu herself. This also means I won’t fully go on the gameplay mechanics as I don’t have enough experience with it to make a fully informed decision. I will talk about what I’ve seen though.

With that in mind, we’ll be starting as all of these lists usually do, from the bottom ranking to the top: ________________________________________________________________ 20. Eve

Now, this may come as a shock, but I absolutely despise divas. Eve was entertaining enough, but through her videos she was only relatable and likable to me before she and Zuke broke up. Mostly because I could relate with her self-loathing and her found happiness.

Still... setting someone’s hair on fire? And then being confused as to why that happened? Then completely blaming the victim and using that mistake as fuel to shut out any other potential kindred relationship for the future? I’ve seen people who do that; it’s pathetic at best and annoying to see at worst. Thankfully, due to Zuke, she does eventually come around.

Her music and boss fight are interesting enough I suppose. I like how the perspective changes and I adore when you have to switch over to Mayday and it becomes a fully chaotic mess of limbs, doubt, hatred, and rage. I live for that chaotic aesthetic.

Otherwise, she’s just... the weakest character to me in No Straight Roads.

Maybe she’ll Eve-ntually earn my respect in supplementary materials. ________________________________________________________________ 19. Sofa

The first member of Team Sayu I’m mentioning and he’s this low on the list. Ouch. Not to say that I hate him, the hate started and ended with Eve - he, along with the others don’t really have much of a personality canonically that I can see to judge him on. But in terms of his design, I’ve never been much of a fan of “overweight and silly” outside of Doctor Eggman/

Do not take this the wrong way. I am in NO way fatshaming ANYONE.

I just have never liked that design in fictional characters. See Hifumi Yamada from “Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc” for more on what I mean

Still, he’s a core member of Team Sayu and from the fanfiction I’ve read he’s one of the better characters to write with. Maybe if we got a spinoff or other related materials, he’d go up a few numbers in rank, but as it stands, he’s the weakest of the group.

Sofa-r so good, let’s move on before these puns go too far. ________________________________________________________________ 18. Mayday Yeah. I’m not a huge fan of Mayday herself. Hotheaded protagonists are fine here and there, but she’s so hot-headed I’m surprised that she didn’t have the fire aesthetic as well. I guess with it all being taken by Tatiana, they could only give her a warm color scheme so it wasn’t redundant.

Her gameplay seems fine, if a bit basic. The heavy hitter is also a hothead, who could guess. I kinda like how someone as scrawny and small as her also has the biggest heart and temper. Also the gags that come from her relating to the other bosses are hysterical and make for good protagonist material. Still, outside of her interaction with DK West, Zuke, and Team Sayu, as well as the very end of the game, there’s a lack of enough “heroic” traits that makes Mayday fall flat from just shy of ranking higher.

I don’t have a clever pun, joke, or one-liner for Mayday, so let’s go to the next person in my list. ________________________________________________________________ 17. DJ Subatomic Supernova I have never really liked disco or dance music at the best of times, but I love space. So what happens when you mix something I feel lukewarm to, something I absolutely adore, and combine it with a trait about a person I absolutely also despise?

You get space helmet man who likes fresh ice cream and goes on for minutes about how great he is and how everyone else around him are plebeians - not knowing how pretentious the stage name “Subatomic Supernova” is.

If I had made this list when I had first seen No Straight Roads, he’d be only just ahead of Eve just because I dislike her so much more than I hate egotism of DJ Subatomic Supernova. But he’s now gone higher on the list since he’s grown on me thanks to the fandom and me realizing the game is parodying the stereotypes and the industry of music. Also, Zuke’s drum solo is AMAZING with the EDM version of DJ SS’s theme. He’s even gone so far as to become half of my second favorite paring in the NSR fandom!

Shine on, you funky space man. ________________________________________________________________

16. DK West Ewah! Older of the two brothers by age, younger of the two by maturity. I absolutely love this goofball. His shadow powers are absolutely amazing to watch and while I normally don’t like rap outside of Eminem (and even then only select tracks), he grew on me a lot. He’s so unique and the culture he’s based on from what I understand was researched with a lot of respect and care.

I’ve heard (and seen) that the third fight ramps up the difficulty way too much, but considering that Mayday is attempting to repair a broken household, it makes sense it’d be such a heavy undertaking from a gameplay and story point.

Also DK West Encounter 1 is a smash hit, telling us everything we really need to know between DK West and Zuke while being an absolutely great song that reminds me of Epic Rap Battles of History for anyone that remembers that.

He overshadows his previous competition by a large margin, and I can’t wait to see more of him if that’s possible. ________________________________________________________________ 15. Yinu’s Mom As the real mastermind behind Yinu’s position in NSR, it suddenly makes so much sense as to why a literal child is in such a strict EDM hierarchy like NSR. What keeps her from going above and beyond this ranking isn’t anything more than just the pressure she puts on Yinu to perform. During the fight, and what I can only presume also happens outside of concerts in the universe of No Straight Roads, it seems like she entirely forgets the reason Yinu keeps playing the piano in the first place.

However, I am a huge sucker for family dynamics, and her stopping her assault due to the memories that Yinu was able to drag out of her through the broken piano by playing Heart of the Prodigy is enough to almost enough for me to reach the level of emotional catharsis as the ending of Pixar’s “Inside Out” did for me. And the way she shielded Yinu when they were falling, the gasp of fear that she might not survive the fall - just pure, amazing storytelling through “show, don’t tell”.

I will say, the more morbid part of me that enjoys things like Danganronpa, Your Turn To Die, and Nonary Games, had the thought of “if it weren’t for the fact that Mayday and Zuke also fell from that height and survived (and that this game is meant for younger audiences), Yinu would have became an orphan.”

Mother of the Year award goes to Yinu’s mom for being the most realistic, sympathetic, non-dead mom in fiction. ________________________________________________________________ 14. Yinu I love classical music, but I don’t really like children. Yinu is an exception to my general dislike of children. The promotion that was released before the game was a little eye-rolling, but it was also funny. Fortunately, in the game, Yinu is so much more mature and interesting than the promotional material lead us to believe. The way the piano plays plays in the base version of VS Yinu conveys just how talented she is at nine years old. It’s a shame that it slowly gets covered up by the EDM version as the battle goes on.

But her reasoning for playing the piano, through the photos you get from Yinu’s backstory is all the more reason to respect this literal child. She turned the loss of her music teacher and father into a shining passion for music. The piano being the very memento of her deceased dad - looking at the photos and then realizing what you did in shattering her piano creates a fantastic retroactive look at just how destructive Bunkbed Junction’s revolution really is to people.

We’re not even half-way down the list, and yet we already have great characters like this, so let’s keep looking. ________________________________________________________________ 13. Dodo There’s been a huge gap since the last Team Sayu member. So what makes Dodo so great compared to Sofa? Well, the deep voice that comes from the scrawny, blue man is funny to me. It caught me off-guard the first time I heard it and had me giggling for hours afterwards after I paused the video to regain my composure.

That, and mocap work is hard work. On top of that, though he’s mostly not the face everyone remembers when fans think of Sayu, it takes a lot of talent and self-confidence to dance like a cutesy mermaid despite being a male, at least in my opinion. So I see him as having high confidence, but also being like Zuke in the “chill and mostly quiet” department.

There’s not much else for me to say, since most of Team Sayu doesn’t have blatantly obvious character traits. So let’s move on. ________________________________________________________________ 12. Sayu Sayu herself is... well, not real. It’s like trying to judge any number of the Vocaloid/UTAU voice banks. Sure you can place any number of personalities and messages into it, but in reality she’s just been built as a “cutsie, wootsie, pink mermaid” idol.

Still, the personality that Team Sayu gives her is fantastic. Her fight is annoying, and lackluster even to watch, but her song is amazing in all of its forms, even if for me the vaporwave version is the least effective of all of them - and Analog Aquatics is the BEST lead-up song to it, even ahead of Heart of the Prodigy.

Hatsune Miku? Who’s that? I only see Sayu as the best Vocaloid. ________________________________________________________________ 11. Remi Technically the creator of Sayu in the first place and her designer, Remi seems to be the “all according to plan” type. To think that his passion for art would lead to a career such as NSR, and a close-knit friend group like Team Sayu. It’s something that I’m sure that every artist has had as their goal at one point or another.

I highly respect anyone with the ability to put their artwork out in public, both in real life and as a character. Even so, there are characters I like even beyond Remi, and once again, we don’t have much to go off of for him outside of the very few times we see him in Sayu’s battle.

Almost all of Team Sayu has been covered at this point - heck, even Sayu herself has already been covered. So where’s Tila you ask? Well, we’ll get to that, but not for a while. ________________________________________________________________ 10. Tatiana “Kul Fyra” Qwartz From the very moment we first hear her voice, we can tell she’s all business and order. When we watch all of NSR reject the rock music outright and listen to Tatiana’s speech afterwards? How she seems to disregard her artists own safety and prioritizing undermining Bunkbed Junction’s efforts just because she can’t bear to remember her old bandmates? Wonderfully selfish for a heartbroken character.

Also, for those who hate her time-oriented powers and how weakly linked they are to Tatiana herself? Consider this: She’s almost 50 years old by the time Bunkbed Junction starts their revolution. She’s lived long enough to be anyone in the cast’s mom - probably even old enough to be Team Sayu and Yinu’s grandma. She has only seen a progressive march of time erode at everything she ever loved and cared about.

The blazing passion within her is brought back to her through Bunkbed Junction’s actions, but through a reversal of time and a reflection of her memories. Bunkbed Junction literally shatters the world view that she constructed for herself to ignore the regret and pain that had been slowly eating her up inside without her ever even having fully realized it in the first phase. By the time Tatiana reverts back to using her Kul Fyra form, she’s trying so hard to list any number of reasons to ignore her past and focus on what little time she actually has left to work on the future.

This was a bit of a longer explanation and reasoning, but for a character as amazing and symbolically complex as Tatiana, she absolutely deserves it. And as you’ll see for the next character, this is only a fraction of my love for the characters of No Straight Roads. ________________________________________________________________9. Neon J And here we start with my absolutely favorite characters, the ones I not only enjoy reading and writing about, but that in canon I can wholeheartedly accept them for who they are, flaws and all.

My grandpa was in the navy, and to make a long story short there were some complicated things that happened that required me to live with both him and my grandma when I was really little. So already there’s something that I can latch onto and adore. Even with how cringy Neon J is at the end with him attempting to try to give an epic war hero speech, my grandpa can be the same way sometimes, and that’s okay. They kind of act similarly outside of that as well.

His design is so sleek and smooth, and sometimes I forget that he’s actually a cyborg, unlike his sons boyband creations. Normally I hate the military, war, and what it all represents at a cynical level, but when it’s portrayed in a way like No Straight Roads did for Neon J and 1010, it reminds me of the people who actually join to serve their country and the people in it, despite how few in their countries actually deserve their respect.

And yeah, I can already hear the “blah blah fiction is poorly portraying law enforcement/the military because ect ect”. I disagree. Think of it this way: Neon J is a fun example of what a leader in a military unit is. Not only that, he’s extremely loyal and willing to do what it takes to get the job done - including having a program inside 1010 that makes them explode when they fail to generate the requisite fan praise that’s likely required to keep 1010 merchandise flying off of the shelves and thus prove to the other NSR artists that even robot boybands can be used to help Vinyl City; AND use said robot boyband as weapons to fight off any threats - internal or external.

Also think about what he had to go through to become a cyborg. That means he likely had to replace everything that’s on the surface - imagine what he needed to replace underneath all of that metal. How much of his original body is left? How badly did the war he was involved in hurt him? How many comrades did he lose to try to recreate that feel in a boyband? Aren’t the implications of that so much more grand than the surface level “radar head man is bad representation of military people because he’s silly and ineffective at his job”. Furthermore, tell me of a person in the real world who lost so much of their body they literally had to become a cyborg that has a literal radar for a head.

On top of all of that he’s the second half of my second favorite pairing. Not that is has any major bearing on how great Neon J already is. Is it silly that Neon J tries to give a huge speech at the end when we know Bunkbed Junction is just trying to get to Tatiana? Yes. But it’s fun.

I salute the No Straight Roads team for creating such an amazing character . ________________________________________________________________8. Blue 1010 Robot | Purl-Hew Ah yes, now we start getting to what’s taking up most of the top 10 slots. Kind of funny that not all of the 1010 members are going into the top 5 slots with how much I ranted and raved about Neon J. But I have characters I like way more than most of the 1010 band members.

And yes, I’ll bring this up now since we’re actually talking about 1010, that will apply to all the members of 1010 so I don’t have to repeat myself: I already know that they’re meant to parody boy bands, pop bands, and how similar all of them are and ect ect ect. That doesn’t stop me from going “hee hoo pretty boys” at fictional characters. And, yes, I know they don’t canonically have names, but I’m going with what’s been accepted across the fandom. Also all of their body types are the same: I like them alot. They’re tall, in monochrome (hah, chrome), and the way they bob to the beat in their battle is fantastic and shows they are powered by music as much as any machine is in the universe of No Straight Roads.

Starting off with my least favorite of them, Purl-Hew just reminds me of Garnet from “Steven Universe”, which is not a bad thing. It’s just that outside of what we learn of Garnet, she’s a character I often forget exists. I think it’s honestly the shades and the blue, more square-like hair that makes me draw the comparison. Purl-Hew strikes me as the “cool” one. The one that recites his poetry in coffee shops and is the sensitive boy with a cold exterior. You know the kind of person I’m talking about.

Other than that, I like the 1010 branding on the side of his head. I normally don’t like hairstyles like that, but somehow with how it flows and how non-obnoxious it is, I actually find myself liking the hairstyle. Also coupled with the fact that I see him as the second eldest of all five of them, who likely cemented an identity for himself before the others, makes me like his entirety even more.

A cool dude deserves a cool transition, but since this isn’t a video, a line break will have to do. ________________________________________________________________7. Red 1010 Robot | Zimelu Zimelu is one of the ones that strikes me as the one that’s borderline trying to break free from the rest of the band and become his own artist. The mowhawk, the color red, even to what he’s likely supposed to represent in-universe. Many see him as having anger issues, and considering what 1010 is about coupled with, again the hair style and his color, yeah I can see why.

But I also see him having a somewhat tsundere side. Not overtly fully tusndere as “I-It’s not like I like you or anything!” but more of a “Hey, I got you [insert favorite food] to eat. Don’t read too much into it.” while looking off to the side to avoid seeing your reaction just because he’s not sure if he can handle the thought of him possibly being wrong and then seeing you be disappointed kind of tsundere.

I don’t see a lot of peices of work exploring this concept, and I’d love to see more of it - or heck, even other personality traits that could be lying under the rebellious design of him.

I see him as the middle child of the group, which could also add to the rebellious personality and anger issues. Not sure if anyone agrees with me on this though. ________________________________________________________________6. Yellow 1010 Robot | Haym Okay, so this is a bit weird. Haym is my second least favorite in terms of design, but third favorite because he’s supposed to be the sunny, shy, and sweet one. I see him as the second youngest of all of the 1010 members. Old enough to have experience and understand his purpose, but young enough to retain that childhood-like innocence and sweetness.

I think he’s content about his place in 1010. It’s not that he would slack off or anything, but he’d be the most comfortable with his identity out of all five of them, even years down the line. Where Purl-Hew has to upkeep his identity, Haym is fine just being who he is and happy that the crowd accepts him for who he is.

Also him saying “even your lips, which form that raaaaadiant smile~” made me smile like an idiot and my heart flutter when I first saw him - and don’t even get me started on his pose when he was saying that. So that probably has at least some bearing on his placement in this list. ________________________________________________________________5. Green 1010 Robot | Eloni Haym was weird for me to admit I still don’t fully like his design, but Eloni’s design is actually worse for me. I still don’t like the fact he looks like you could hang him on a Christmas tree or a keychain and not be out of place there. But as I learned more - especially the part where in-universe he’s the least-liked because he’s the prankster type, my heart melted for the guy.

While I myself am not a prankster or a fan of prankster types, sympathetic characters that are generally unliked in-universe for something minor or not their fault is something that will always get me to love a character. There’s also a lot of great fanfiction out there for Eloni, playing with the idea of jealousy, feelings of inadequacy, and the resulting love and support that inevitably follows from a strong supporting family.

Also, I see him as the youngest, and likely the one who thought it’d be a good idea to give everyone reindeer heads for the Christmas event instead of whatever was originally planned. The fans probably loved it anyways, even better than what was originally planned, but never knew it was Eloni’s messing around that gave them the toy-soldier-with-reindeer-heads 1010.

Second best 1010 boy deserves to be in the top 5 for all of this and more. ________________________________________________________________4. Tila Tila? You mean the one girl who only goes “pyun” a few times? The only one of Team Sayu that has any voice lines that are more than sobs, grunts, tremoring fear, and sounds of triumph?

Yes. That character. You want to know why?

First, lets start with her design. She wears an oversized hoodie and glasses - already two things I can relate to. The color contrast is just perfect between her hair, skin, and hoodie. Her design alone to me screams “high-functioning introvert”.

Her one line? Going “pyun” a few times? Absolutely adorable. I wanted to hear her say more lines, and the delivery of them being so uncertain filtered through a microphone to not come out that way as Sayu? She is definitely the shy one of the four of them. Also let’s not forget she’s Sayu’s voice actress in universe. Meaning that VS Sayu is something that Tila is singing.

Also, in the background material for Sayu, she’s the one that apologizes for using Remi’s art for one of her songs, and starts the collaboration with all four members of Team Sayu. It’s her story we follow. Not any of the other four members, though Remi does actually say something.

Though we don’t get much else of her, which prevents her from taking a spot in my top 3 picks, if we got just a little bit more from her, I’d definitely bump her to 3rd, maybe even let her take 1st. As it stands, compared to the rest of Team Sayu and Sayu herself, top 5 is nothing to sneeze at. ________________________________________________________________3. Kliff “No one like’s Kliff! He’s evil and bad!”

I mostly disagree with that statement, politely of course. Does no one like him? Seems that way in the fandom, but I like him. Is he evil? Yes, most certainly. Is he “bad”? Well, what’s the context of bad in this case? A bad plot-twist? A bad character? A bad guide? Not really. Well, except for the last part, possibly, but even then he’s still serviceable.

I mean take into context that Tatiana is Kul Fyra. On a first viewing, after having fought so many people after first meeting Kliff, most people would have forgotten that he, like Mayday, also likes Kul Fyra and was even there for her concerts. People who have insane memory would remember it, but for the rest of us, it probably came as a shock that Kliff would send a satellite into the NSR tower.

But he’s a fan that put Kul Fyra on a pillar, just like Mayday. He’d hoped that rock artists would get her back into rock music, to reignite the fire in her, so that he could enjoy her music again. He even says that he’s still her fan. He questions Tatiana “did my loyalty mean nothing to you?”.

And while yes, she didn’t technically owe him anything, the way that Tatiana shoots Kliff down so coldly after all of his attempts and his waiting - after she shut herself away from any potential future differing opinions and banning rock so she couldn’t remember the heartache - he snaps.

I’m not saying that Kliff was right, or that his reaction was fully justified. But imagine him saying he’ll be the strategic planner of NSR - after all, it was thanks to him that Mayday and Zuke got as far as they did. They knew what was coming ahead of time due to his advice. Mayday and Zuke would just be figureheads. It would be entirely realistic, and not make Kliff entirely evil.

Still, with all the hypotheticals out of the way, having an entirely selfish twist villain like Kliff was amazing. When you go through the entire story knowing how it will end on a second playthrough, suddenly his motives and what he says makes so much more sense.

I want to see (or maybe someday I’ll write) a redemption arc for Kliff. He’s not so fargone that I’d write him off as another villain for the sake of evil, but it would take actual work and effort. It’s something I look forwards to seeing in the far future.

Though he is also fun to see as an antagonist in all of these stories I read about him. ________________________________________________________________2. Zuke On a scale of 1 to 10, I’d rank Zuke an 11. From his design, to his animations, to his background, his voice, his lines - everything is an 11/10 for me.

Starting with design again, normally I’d dislike the major contrast such a saturated green against a saturated blue. But there’s other bits in Zuke’s design - his red eyes, the fact that his clothing is a good neutral base to draw away from the chaos of colors of his head - only to lead back into what looks like ultra-comfortable blue-and-green flannel with dark blue flats? It all screams the perfect chill dude to hang out with.

His personality matches too. He’s laid-back, wise, rational, humble, and kind. Almost the perfect man in every way. Though he has his limits, especially when it comes to DK West, and he’s not always the most intelligent at times. Sometimes he takes a minute to put two-and-two together, especially when he’s under pressure and nervous.

And his drumsticks being used as a walking cane when he’s not battling, admitting that it’s NSR property - recognizing that NSR itself is not bad, it just needs change. He doesn’t generally talk smack unless, again, it’s DK West. He probably says less than Mayday does out of the two, but I wasn’t counting. I was just thankful that he was talking at all, attempting to be the voice of reason in situations, telling Eve he was wrong for leaving so suddenly (even though he’s not at fault for his hair being set on fire), reconciling with DK West after Mayday gets them to talk about their feelings to each other - he experiences the most growth over the longest period of time.

In fact, it feels like we’re witnessing Zuke’s entire story through the eyes of Mayday. Sure, Mayday has a stake in the conflict, and a small bit of growth, but none nearly so much as the jolly green giant between them. Heck, he’s so good that he made DJ Subatomic Supernova’s music actually sound good.

If this wasn’t enough, he’s also one half of my favorite pairing. Where’s the other half? Where he belongs of course. ________________________________________________________________1. White 1010 Robot | Rin Look guys, my favorite character of No Straight Roads is finally here. Let me be the ideal fan and give him my utmost attention.

ATTENTION!

Hoo boy have I been waiting to talk about Rin! His design is the one that I love the most despite how simple and obviously pandering it is. I mean come on, he’s got the kind of hairstyle that just screams “typical emo/scene/goth/pop leader” without the sweeping bit of hair in front of the eye like Haym’s or other emo/scene/goth hair styles. He has no unique colors to himself (white and black are technically not colors). Heck, as a robot meant to parody pop/boybands, he technically should be the most bland and uninteresting part of 1010.

But that’s where you’d be wrong. Rin is the one who leads the flirting attempt against Mayday. Rin is the one who is focused on the most of all the 1010 members when the cutscenes play. Rin is the one who’s talking the most in the promotional video for 1010 and No Straight Roads. Even though Zimelu takes up most of the spot in the in-game photo op, Rin is the second most noticable. In the “wefies” the 1010 members make in the promotional video, Rin is front and center.

Rin is the poster child. Meaning he has the most mounting on him of all the members of 1010. And this can manifest in any number of interesting character traits. I’ve already written an (as of posting this review) three chapter fanfic on Rin and his dynamic with not only the other half of my favorite pairing, but also his dynamic with Neon J, and how both Zuke and Neon J view Rin - through what I perceive how Rin actually feels and acts when he’s not on stage.

I could probably do an entire 20 minute review on why Rin is the single-best character of No Straight Roads, both in and out of canon, but I don’t have the tools for it. And as a side note, the guitar solo that Mayday can play over the song is the single-best of all the guitar solos, the second being the one against Yinu - and that deep passion for 1010 is reflected well in the guitar solo.

Zuke may be an 11/10, but Rin is a perfect 10/10 - and I wouldn’t have it any other way . ________________________________________________________________Afterwords Finally, after an entire 4 hours of writing, I’d like to hear your thoughts on all of this, if you’ve made it this far.

What did you agree and disagree with? Feel free to comment if you want.

As for me, I think I’ll continue to browse the work of the fandom, keep an ear out for any future updates or sequels, and rock on with the amazing soundtrack of No Straight Roads jamming loudly in my ears.

Rock on fellow No Straight Roads fans! Or whatever genre you prefer to listen to.

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whitecrownsblackthrones-archived · 4 years ago

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Verses I’ve considered Making but Haven’t made up my Mind Yet

Pretty Tower Princess Ann 『v!PTPA』 Revamp

Nothing super serious, just a rebooted version of an existing verse, just so it suits the ‘Magical Girl’ theme, seeing as the first one doesn’t suit what the verse tag implies. Which probably means some new fcs & a new plot line

Of course this requires a lot more thinking, considering how difficult reboots around here have been, ex: finishing the new plotline first

Goddess 『v!Goddess』 Expansion

An expansion on an existing verse, to include other Chosens & make this more like a godly pantheon, rather then just two goddesses existing on their own. This could be made into a whole different sort of verse in itself, since just the verse as is allows of things like ’divide champions’, priests & priestesses to come & exist.

The House of 20 Royals 『v!House of 20 Royals』 Inspired by: Barbie & the 12 Dancing Princesses

At some point I randomly decided to go back & watch a bunch of different movies that I really enjoyed as a child(spoiler alert: a lot of them were Barbie movies & I have no shame in that). This particular one was one of my favorites.

The way it goes is, there is this particular kingdom(for sanity’s sake, let’s just say it’s Camellia for now), who is known for their royal family for being very, very large(due to the 20 royal children[not just daughters exclusive either]), as well as having a wide & strange variety of special abilities. This family, while not completely divided, do get into spats often, as they all wish to be the next king/queen of the kingdom & try to sabotage each other’s chances for that(by assuring that no one gets married, as to be in line for succession requires them to be married). Slowly, these 20 royal children, must get over their differences & disagreences, to over come a common enemy & save their slowly dying father.

For this particular verse, it is recommended that participates are one(or more depending on how many characters you wanna involve) of the 20 royal children, or a servant to the royal family to get the full experience, they can also have a single magical ability of their choosing(if they don’t already have one[they would just have to check it over with me so we can make sure it ain’t op or something]). Many royals from the main world will also be shoved into this verse for the sake of saving myself hours looking for fcs.

The Princess & the Oblivion Scepter 『v!Oblivion Scepter』 Inspired by: Barbie & the Magic of Pegasus & the existing PTPA story

Another verse taken from the inspiration from a childhood favorite, as well as twisting an existing story of mine.

The Princess Annalise never knew what life outside the castle walls were like, until one day, she snuck out to see the world for what it was, only to discover a dark secret her family had been hiding from her. Or rather, that she was the secret her family had been trying to keep from someone. Soon after, a curse is cast upon the kingdom & she disappears from her home completely. It’s up to you to find the missing princess & bring her home, as well as break the kingdom’s curse.

For this story, participates can be anyone, from a member of the royal family, to a servant, to a mere commoner, however, you will have a pre-mandated relationship with one character: the Magician of the Royal Court.

Modern AU 『v!High Schooler』

Nothing particularly special about this one, just an AU where Ann & Sue are turned into completely normal high school girls. Probably be good for the people who aren’t into all this ‘royalty’ stuff... which appears to be a lot of folks.

Swapped Chosens 『v!Swapped Chosens』

Also pretty much what it sounds like, what would happen is Suzanne had been Yang’s Chosen, & Ann would have been Ying’s Chosen. It’s had to say whether or not is their personalities would change to an extremity, though there certainly would be some changes there, & it would definitely require a change in fcs for them both.

Maid AU『v!Servants』

Again, one of those things where it is exactly what it sounds like, making Ann & Sue the servants to the royalty in which participates are likely to be the royals/nobles they serve. I guess this could TECHICALLY include a maid café au as well, but that one will only go so far.

Mermaid AU 『v!Mermaid』 Inspired by: Mermaid Melody

Stop getting me into fandoms I don’t belong in.

‘The Pure Pearl Voice’ & ‘The Dark Pearl Voice’, both very young & considered to be extremely unusual as far as mermaids go, as they are usually ‘colored’, where as Ann & Sue are simply white & black. It’s unclear why they are not colored, it’s possible this is because they are not fully grown, & thus their powers are not fully grown, or if this is a sign that they are some how stronger then your standard mermaid. The fact they are unable to transform into a human guise would suggest the former.

#{OutOfYang - So speakth the Queen of Queens}#{In the Reflection of the Mirrors - Verse Musings}#read more for length #read more for picture spam

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silence-burns · 5 years ago

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Please Hate Me //14

Fandom: Marvel

Summary: Based on "Imagine having a love/hate relationship with Loki." by @thefandomimagine

"I beg your pardon?" Loki blinked.

The man standing in front of you with a huge grin on his face looked like the leader of whatever this group was. He had a wide, unpleasant face and something in his eyes that said he was not joking.

"You, my precious darlings, are going to make me and my men very rich," he repeated with grim satisfaction.

How lovely.

"Well," you felt obligated to notify him, "I admit I might have taken a few ballet classes in the past, but I seriously doubt it’s going to profit you much."

His grin faltered.

"I'm going to sell you," he explained slowly, as if speaking to a dim-witted child. "And that scum too."

'That scum' felt insulted. He gasped, dramatically. He'd use hands for a greater effect, but they'd already been tied behind his back.

"I doubt that's the right way to treat your most valuable stock," he scolded the man.

"It's bold of you to assume you're more valuable than me," you sneered.

"Oh, dear. I must've forgotten how those ballet classes influenced your price."

The men stared dumbfounded between the two of you. This type of behavior was certainly not what they had expected and were used to, but the fault was on their side for not reading the manual before making a purchase. It would have allowed them to avoid the grave mistake of kidnapping both Loki and you at the same time.

"Are you guys serious?" the leader asked, his smile gone, hopefully forever. If anyone asked your opinion, he gave off very creepy vibes when he smiled. It was a relief to see a less intimidating expression on his face. It was not enough to make him pretty, but at least covered his yellowed teeth.

"Duh. But the real question is," you narrowed your eyes. "Are you?"

He wanted to say something to that. He really did, from the looks of it. He must have been smarter than you originally gave him credit for, though, because after a moment of consideration, he came to a very bright conclusion that nothing he could say would make much of a difference.

He turned to his men and pointed at two of them. "You keep an eye on those idiots."

And then he left, without any goodbye. What was even worse, he took the rest of his (probably underpaid) employees and left the warehouse, no doubt to take care of the rest of his shipping.

It was such a shame only two of his men were left. It was almost as if you were deemed unworthy of more supervision. You wondered how this could have happen. It was such a mystery.

"You truly are wicked," Loki mused, something like amusement glinting in his eyes.

"Aww, thank you!"

"That was not a compliment. It was more of a reminder that the situation we are currently struggling with is a direct consequence of your poor decision-making."

"That hurt my feelings."

"You don't look hurt."

"I don't have many feelings, so I guess it didn't have much of an effect on me…"

One of the men left to keep an eye on you finally lost his patience.

He didn't have many distinctive traits, and certainly not ones that could deem him as a comic villain, sadly. If anything, he was ordinary enough to be a perfect example of how much truth hides in the old saying of not judging a book by its cover. A real Joe Schmo.

"Can you two just stop?" he snapped. His friend sighed. "You are so annoying; I want to kill you myself!"

"I doubt it would get you the title of 'Employee of the month', friend."

He pointed a finger at you, with all the anger he could muster in his ordinary body.

"We are not friends, you don't even have any idea who we are!"

Loki scoffed. How he managed to give off a nobility aura while still in shackles, was beyond your comprehension. "Of course we don't know. None of you had enough manners to introduce yourselves."

"My friend says you're rude," you explained in a dramatic whisper upon the man's stunned, although deep red, face.

Loki turned to you with a charming smile that did little to hide the murderous intent flashing in his eyes.

"We are not friends," he stated with every ounce of confidence he possessed. He possessed a lot of it.

"Of course we are, we even have friendship bracelets."

"Those are not friendship bracelets."

The most ordinary man you'd ever met scoffed. "Who wears friendship bracelets anymore?"

"I do," you informed him calmly. "And I am very proud of it. They make me feel even closer to my absolute best buddy in the world. Worlds, I mean."

"Come any closer and I'll show you my friendship," Loki growled through the teeth. The shackles on his arms clinked, but didn't let him go.

The ordinary man, Joe Schmo, seemed tired. He eyed his gun, but apparently decided whatever he'd do with it was not worth his boss's wrath.

He definitely looked underpaid. He couldn't even afford any mask or a suit that would make him look like a formidable enemy for once in his life. Without it, you couldn't help but imagine him as an overworked accountant that decided to take a part-time job as a human trafficker, or at least working for one. Even the way he paced nervously through the warehouse showed how little experience he possessed when it came to dealing with problematic individuals.

You loved to be a problematic individual.

His friend, on the other hand, the man who decided to lean on one of the warehouse walls and assess you quietly, seemed like a much more intriguing lad. Without seeing his CV it was difficult to measure his experience in the branch, but if you had to give one of them a pay raise, he seemed more qualified to get it. At the very least, he knew the basic rule of not talking to the cargo.

But all in due time. It would be rude to divide your attention between such wonderful people.

You turned back to Joe. His ordinary hair was already plastered to his head.

Loki eyed you suspiciously. It was just a quick side glance, not meant to bring too much attention to the gesture.

The emotions he felt and let be heard in his voice were real. It was also true that he'd prefer to be stuck there alone. He had a very strong feeling that his situation would then improve drastically, although he wasn't sure how exactly.

For once, it would certainly be easier to think about a way out in peace. He didn't intend to stay there for a second longer than was absolutely necessary, and without your… assistance, it surely would be a shorter inconvenience.

But it was also true that even though you proved to be a talker in the past days, you never seemed so… focused and confident on achieving something?

Loki blinked. It almost looked as if you actually had a plan and were in the middle of realizing it.

It also looked like you riled Loki and the man up on purpose and were using all the chaos to cover for something.

Unbelievable.

The end must be near.

Meanwhile, the ordinary man took a deep breath that did little to calm him down.

"One more word and I'm going to find a gag and silence you," he warned you.

"Oh, but there's an easier way to do that. You can always just buy my silence for 10 bucks."

"You know what? Fine."

Loki watched with amusement as the man fished through his pockets for any spare change.

"I've got like… 3."

You clicked your tongue with disappointment. "I'm sorry, but today is not a Discount Tuesday."

He cursed and threw the hard coins into your face. "Screw you!" He turned to Loki. "And you!"

And then he walked to the other man and told him he needed a breather. Just a few minutes to put himself together. He wasn't told it would be so difficult.

And then he left.

The revelation hit Loki without as much as a warning.

That was not only a plan.

It was a brilliant one.

Taglist: @writerjmlove @drakonwild @eeveesjourney @lokislilcaribbeanprincess @oatballsoffury @inumorph @ejectur @nerdybabywrites @twhgirl @nikkoliferous @unlikelygalaxygiver @multifandomreaderinsertfanfics @dreamingofonceuponatime @iamfelixc @bluebunnlee @effmigentlywithachainsaw @sadwaywardkid @ravenclawpossum @waitforthehurricane @absentmindeduniverse @unicorniorosacomefrutillas

#Please Hate Me #Loki x reader #Loki x you #loki laufeyson x you #Loki laufeyson x reader #Loki/you #Loki/reader #Loki imagine #Loki #loki laufeyson #Marvel #Mcu

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lustyargonianmaid · 5 years ago

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okay lads brace yourselves cuz I'm bout to vent.

I have seen a lot of back and forth in the far cry community about how discouraging it can be VS how it's so lovely and uplifting etc etc. and I do not doubt it is absolutely both. I'm lucky enough to have great friends in the fandom and a decent following for SOME UNKNOWN REASON LOL. but what bothers me the most and what I know for a fact is creating a huge divide in the fandom right now is the sneaky back biting that is occurring. I'm not innocent, I know I have a lot of opinions and I tend to voice them pretty loudly.

but the amount of people I've heard from who have been burned by people in this fandom *who have large followings* is a damn shame.

multiple people have left or changed their blog/fandom entirely due to hearing that they're "copying" popular OCs (ie: by having a military background etc - which is literally the most common back story in any action game or movie. there are basically no original ideas or thoughts these days, so get over yourself.) And honestly I'm tired of it!! we're all here to have fun!! we're all here for some goddamn escapism, and I'm sorry but unless some straight up plagerism is happening I highly doubt anyone is copying your likely *vanilla white girl character*. when you say shit like that about small bloggers and writers in the fandom - it does get around. every single time. it's hurtful, it's unkind - and it's bullying. we all put a lot into our characters and I've seen people completely scrap theirs because of accusations like this. characters who are well thought out, who've been brought to life by commissions - gone.

how about you start spending your time creating and lifting others up rather than looking down on someone for having a causasian female oc who is shipped with the same character you like.

I'd also like to point out that no one owns an actors face. we all use face claims but guess what!! they're people! whom we do not own or have any fucking rights over!

sorry to go off but I'm really discouraged by the fandom right now and this is a huge part of it.

#I know this all sounds very specific lol #because it is #not only are small bloggers getting slept on but they're being bullied out of the fandom #and I'm not fucking here for it #vent #negative #discourse #fandom critical #fc5

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onthesandsofdreams · 5 years ago

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A Love That Waits

Fandom: ASoIaF Pairing: SanSan Rating: T Summary: Dear Lady Stark, I am afraid to inform you, that Sandor Clegane went missing on the night of the Blackwater Bay Battle. We are unsure as to whether he deserted or he is, in fact, dead. We are still looking for him, should we receive any news, you shall be informed immediately.Our sincere apologies, Varys. Words: 3353 Notes: I guess that falls in a modern westeros, post edwardian era. Established relationship. Inspired by @bighound-littlebird‘s prompt #28.

Read @ AO3

The war had exploded in all of Westeros. Almost at the moment of King Robert Baratheon’s death. His brothers were fighting his children for the Throne. Stannis making the bold claim that the children Cersei had birthed were the product of incest.

Only the Vale and Dorne were staying neutral, the Riverlands and the North had also been dragged into the war. Sandor Clegane, born and with holdings in the Westerlands had been summoned by Tywin Lannister for war. A war that Sandor was quite reluctant to fight. While on a visit North with King Robert, he had met Sansa Stark, Eddard Stark’s daughter and they both had fallen in love with each other.

And now war was threatening to split them apart.

“Swear it to me, Sandor,” Sansa held onto Sandor’s hands, unwilling to let go just yet. Tears blurring her vision. “Swear it that you will come back, no matter what. No matter how long it takes you, you will come back to me.”

Sandor nodded, a solemn look on his face. “I swear it Little bird, I will come back to you.” He said and then lifted their joint hands to kiss Sansa’s. “No matter what happens, I will come back to you. But you must promise me, that if you do receive notice of my death, you will live. You musn’t close yourself to life and love. Swear it to me.”

Sansa was quite reluctant to make the vow, but Sandor’s intense stare was hard to maintain and hard to avoid. She knew that Sandor didn’t say it to be cruel, but because he loved her so much that he wanted her to live and not give up on life. “I swear, but only if I know for sure that you are dead.” She said, rising her chin in a defiant way. “For I will have no other than you.”

“And I will have no other than you,” Sandor said, quietly and with all the love that he felt. “But I must go now, unwilling as I am.”

It was only then that Sansa allowed herself to let tears fall. “Come back,” she said as her voice cracked. She quickly put her hand on her dress pocket, pulling one thing she had for Sandor. “Come home to me.” She said as she placed her gift for him on his hand.

Sandor looked down at his hands, and found a small locket, he opened it and found himself at loss for words. Inside, there was a tiny painting of Sansa and a small lock of her hair. “I will come back, Little bird,” his own voice shook. “I will come home to you.”

Sansa threw herself at his arms and Sandor enveloped her in his. They held onto each other, until Sansa pulled back a bit, tears running down her cheeks. Sandor did not want to go, but duty called and it would be tantamount to treason not to report himself for the army. He gently wiped Sansa’s tears away, holding her face with surprising tenderness. Then, he bent down and captured Sansa’s lips in a fierce and passionate kiss. One that Sansa returned quite eagerly.

The moment was only broken by the whistle of the train. Sandor pulled away, reluctantly and began to walk backwards. “I’ll come back, I swear it to you, Little bird.”

“I’ll be waiting,” Sansa tried to smile through her tears. “So come home, soon.”

Sandor took one last look at Sansa, then he closed his eyes, turned and climbed onto the train. Swearing to himself that he would do everything humanly possible to come home to his Sansa. He didn’t know how long that would be.

***

The first months of separation, Sansa bore them with grace. She understood that no letters would come, at least, not yet. It was too soon and she knew that Sandor would be on the front lines, so she simply dedicated herself to care for her home and those in it.

Her father had been killed by Joffrey Baratheon and her brother had gone to help their grandfather. Hoster Tully was ill, but there were men destroying the Riverlands, so Robb and many men of the North had gone to fight for Stannis on the promise of justice. And she could only hope that Robb would return safely. Her mother had gone south to visit her father as he was ill, Arya remained with her and her sister had been most displeased. Sansa knew that her sister would’ve rather go and fight than wait, but she had not been able to sneak around this time. Bran and Rickon were only children still.

So Sansa did her best to distract her. As she could use the distraction herself, because she didn’t want to think of the horrid possibility of Sandor fighting her brother.

***

The first letter arrived six months after Sandor had gone. Sansa had rushed to her room to read it.

Little bird,

To say that everything’s terrible would be an understatement. Tywin Lannister is furious, I am sure that he would kill Stannis Baratheon himself if he could. King’s Landing is standing, no small feat thanks to the efforts of the imp.

We have received news that Renly has declared himself King, which bodes terrible for the Tywin and his family, not to mention, me and the rest of the men, because we might have to divide the army now.

I think of you daily and I can only hope all of this ends quickly, so I may go home to you and see you again.

All my devotion, Sandor.

Sansa had done her best not to cry. She quickly penned down a letter for him, wishing him the best and hoping for his safe return. And that’s how the letters started. Sometimes they would be long ones, where Sandor could lay bare any trouble that may be worrying him without any shame. Others were simple and short, just letting her know that he was thinking of her and that he both loved her and missed her.

Little bird,

I love you. Sandor.

Little bird,

I grow weary of war. Of pain, fear and uncertainty. I wish to go home to you. I miss you. Sandor.

Little bird,

It makes me sleep at ease to know that you are home safe. Please think of me, for you are the only thing I think of in my desperate moments. Sandor.

Little bird,

You are my world. Sandor.

Little bird,

To say that I feel lost without you, is simple. I feel like I’m missing a large part of me as you are so far away from me. I wish to hold you in my arms once more, wait for me. I’ll come home to you soon. Sandor.

The letters lasted for nearly as long as the war did. And the war had been going on for nearly two years, until one day, the letter stopped. Sansa did her best not to think about why that could be, she simply reassured herself that Sandor was busy fighting.

But Sansa received a blow soon after, her brother and a large part of the army he led was dead. A deep betrayal from one of the Riverlander Lords, brought them to their end. Sansa had broken down after telling her siblings. Arya had screamed and shouted, denying anything and calling her a liar. Sansa didn’t mind, she understood why Arya was reacting in such manner. Bran and Rickon wept and Rickon took it upon himself to climb onto her bed and sleep with her.

Another blow came on the news that their mother had also been with Robb at the time.

And then, the letter from Varys arrived.

Dear Lady Stark,

I am afraid to inform you, that Sandor Clegane went missing on the night of the Blackwater Bay Battle. We are unsure as to whether he deserted or he is, in fact, dead. We are still looking for him, should we receive any news, you shall be informed immediately.

Our sincere apologies, Varys.

Sansa fell down to her knees and wept. Wept until she was only dry heaving, until she could cry no longer. She cursed and raged at the Gods, but knew they wouldn’t answer to her screams.

***

The first year, Sansa felt like she was in a fog. Nothing seemed real, everything was strange. The sun shone too brightly, the air too fresh, the colors too vibrant, the winter – for the first time ever – was too cold, too harsh. The North – her home – felt too desolate. She didn’t know what to do with herself.

Nothing made sense. And Sansa hated the pity looks that were tossed at her. ‘Poor girl, a widow without a wedding,’ they spoke in hushed tones, but she heard them anyways. She resisted the urge to scream. Sandor was alive, somehow, somewhere she knew that he was out there and she would wait until he came home. After all, he promised, and Sandor Clegane had always been a man of his word.

A year turned into two, turned into three and then into four. The war ended with Stannis on the throne, the families who had suffered through the war, were promised aid. Sansa and her family were swore justice for the war crimes committed against her father and Robb. Sansa had listened and done her best to do the best for the North and her people.

At some point, Sansa’s friends began to do their best to try and get her to see other men. Gently pushing her into the balls she loved so much, she went, because she had promised Sandor that she would live, but all attempts at matchmaking were rejected.

Sandor was alive, she knew and he’ll come home.

***

So, Sansa kept on living. She kept on running Winterfell for her brother, Bran was still a boy and Rickon was younger still. Fortunately, she had Arya with her. But Arya was angry all the time, not that she blamed her, the loss of their father, mother and brother had hit her hard. It had hit her hard too.

“I have to say,” Arya said one evening after their meal. “You’re doing well.”

Sansa looked up from her embroidery, “If you’re referring to all our losses, yes. I suppose we are, aren’t we? But what choice do we have?”

“I meant,” The look that Arya gave her, made Sansa wary. “On your engagement.”

“Oh,” that is all that Sansa could say. She kept embroidering, but she realized her hands were not as steady as before, she settled her work down and placed her hands on her lap. “He’ll come back, he swore.”

Arya didn’t say anything for a while. “I just… well, I don’t even know what to say.”

Sansa smiled, her sister and her had had a bumpy relationship. But since the war, since all of their losses, they had clung into each other. “I know you’re worried, but I promise you Arya, I’m fine. He’ll be back and you two can go back to fighting when he returns.”

“If he’s dead,” Arya said fiercely. “I will find a way to bring him back alive, just so I can kill him for upsetting you.”

Sansa laughed, it was the first, honest laugh she had had in a while. “Oh Arya!” She stood and walked towards her sister, hugging her and feeling her heart soar when Arya hugged her back. “I know you would. I’m sure Sandor knows that, and for that reason alone he will come back.”

“He better,” Arya’s voice was muffled against her chest.

***

At some point, Sansa decided to write letters for Sandor, a way to let him know that she was thinking of him. Letters that he could read when he came home.

Sandor, Arya is being very patient with me, it's very sweet. She pushes me to go forward, but leaves me alone when it comes to other men. Others insist that I should move on, but I can't. You promised to come home and I know you will. I miss you terribly. With love, Sansa.

Sandor, Bran is courting Meera Reed, she's quite lovely and I think you should like her. Come home soon. Sansa.

Sandor, I have some suitors, but I find myself comparing each and every single one of them to you. And I find them lacking. You ruined me for other men.

I love you, Sansa.

***

Sansa made the best she could to thrive. Even when it was the hardest, her sister had helped tremendously. Arya had done her best to push her forward, but she managed to do so in a way she respected her limits. Arya never mentioned marrying someone else.

Somewhere down the line, she realized that the thought of Sandor didn’t made her weepy. Instead, it filled her with determination and she knew, deep in her heart that Sandor would be home eventually.

It was the six year after the war started, two after it ended, when Sansa found herself visiting the newborn baby of one her friends. She stayed with Jeyne for two weeks and when she returned, she found that a man had arrived and insisted on speaking with her. Sansa knew better to just agree meeting anyone. Specially men.

“He says that wishes to speak with ‘Little bird’,” Winterfell’s butler told her and Sansa froze.

“Are – are you sure?” Sansa’s voice was more like a gasp. “That the man said ‘Little bird’?”

“Aye, Lady Stark.”

“How is he? Describe him to me.”

“He is very tall my Lady, missing an arm and scars on the left side of his face. Lady Arya asked for him to be shown towards Lord Stark’s solar.”

“Thank you. Please send my things to my room.” Sansa said and all but run to find her sister. And find her sister she did, in their father’s old office, sitting with a very tall man. A man who turned when he heard the door open, the moment he did, Sansa felt her knees going weak.

It was Sandor.

“...And there she is, finally back home.” Arya spoke, there was a grin in her face. “Sister, I believe you know this man?”

“Sandor!” Sansa cried out and rushed forward, all but throwing herself at him. She didn’t even give him the chance to stand. She all but climbed onto his lap, uncaring of any impropriety and wrapped her arms around his middle, feeling only one arm around herself. “You’re here.”

“Aye, Little bird,” Sandor rasped. “Lame and useless, but I am here. Should you still want me.”

Sansa backed away from Sandor. Her eyes were blurry, but she could still see that his facial scars seemed redder, as if he had once more injured himself and he was missing his left arm. “Arya…”

“Yes, I’ll leave.” Arya didn’t say more, simply walked out and left them alone.

“Oh Sandor,” Sansa whispered, tears clouding her vision. “How could you think that I would not want you? I have waited, six years and during this time, no other man has taken your place. I still want you, lame and hurt, you’re the man I love.”

“Little bird,” Sandor choked out, reached with his right hand and embraced her as best he could.

Sansa climbed on his lap, tucking her head under his chin. Tears came unbidden, all the years of hoping and now, here Sandor was. “You’re home,” she managed to get out.

“And I will stay, forever.”

They remained together, in an embrace, unwilling to let go. They cried, they didn’t speak, just let out their tears while they held one another.

It wasn’t until much later, when Arya and a servant came with two trays of food that they parted. But Arya didn’t stay. Simply placed the food on their father’s old desk and walked out without saying anything, leaving them alone once more.

Sansa stood, walked toward the cabinet where the alcohol was kept. “Would you like some whiskey?”

Sandor shook his head, “I don’t drink anymore, Little bird.”

“For true?” Sansa’s eyes widened at Sandor’s statement. Drinking was one of the few things she disliked of him, the way he would drink as if he were dying.

“For true,” Sandor nodded, then inspected the trays. “I stopped when I was in the hospital.”

“Oh,” Sansa didn’t know how to feel, she knew that she should be relieved that he was in the hospital and he had gotten help, but… the lack of letters hurt.

“Aye. Perhaps I should tell you my story?”

“No! I – I mean, only if you’re ready,” Sansa rushed to his side and grabbed his arm. “Do not push yourself if you’re not ready.”

“Little bird, ever so thoughtful,” Sandor gave her a rueful smile. “But I really should tell you.”

Sansa didn’t push him, instead just watched as Sandor picked a sandwich and began to eat, serving himself a cup of tea. She herself opted for a scone and tea.

“I ran away,” Sandor started, looking down. “It was the night of Stannis first attempt to take King’s Landing. The imp, bloody bastard that he is, saw fit to toss wildfire into the waters and lit it. Everything smelt of burned flesh and others. I couldn’t stand it. You know why,” he said and pointed at his face. “So I ran, like a coward, I deserted the Lannister army.”

“Oh Sandor.”

“As I was running away, I came across some men. Men your father had sent to apprehend my brother,” Sandor’s face twisted into a snarl. “Bastards thought to make me responsible for his crimes. I had to defend myself, but I ended badly. They burnt my left arm.”

Sansa cried out in distress, tears began to fall and she found that she couldn’t speak.

“I was in pain, terrible pain. I don’t know how it happened, all I know is that I fell and hit my head. I only remember waking in a hospital at the care of a man who went by ‘Elder Brother’. He healed me, they… had to remove my arm. I didn’t even know who I was.”

Sansa wept harder, but she left her seat and went to comfort Sandor. Understanding what he was getting at.

“I had lost my memory. It took years to even remember the smallest things, but when I remembered who I was and you… I knew I had to come home. Elder Brother spoke on my behalf with Stannis, I sold my lands in the Westerlands and I made my way back to you. And I’m here to stay, forever, if you still want me, that is.”

Sansa climbed onto his lap and once more wrapped her arms around his middle, tucking her head under his chin. “I will always want you. Welcome home Sandor, welcome home.”

Sandor’s arm drew her closer. “It’s good to be home, Little bird.”

***

Sansa looked at herself in the mirror and smiled. She would be wedded today, her dress was new, a soft shade of blue with silver and darker blue embroidery. Her smile only dimmed a bit at the thought of her parents and Robb missing her wedding, but she knew they would be happy for her. They had liked and approved of Sandor after getting to know him.

It would fall onto Rickon to walk her down the aisle, Bran would be hosting the reception and Arya would be acting as maid of honor.

“It’s time Sans,” Arya broke her out of her thoughts. “Come on, you have been waiting for almost seven years.”

Sansa gave her sister a hug. “Thank you.” Arya returned it. “Welcome.”

***

Sansa and Sandor never took eyes off each other during the ceremony, Sansa wept when she recited her vows, Sandor’s voice broke several times. Sandor beamed when Sansa slid the wedding band on his right hand.

Sansa Stark and Sandor Clegane were married on a chilly autumn day, but even the weather couldn’t compete with the warmth and love that radiated from the newlyweds.

They had waited and now, they were finally together.

#sansan #sansa x sandor #sansa & arya #Sansa Stark #Sandor Clegane #Arya Stark #asoiaf fic #au: period inspired #au: edwardian #established relationship

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positivelyamazonian · 5 years ago

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are you watching the witcher on netflix? what did you think of it?

Hi! This is not Tomb Raider related but I don’t mind answering it. I’ve been a fan of The Witcher universe since 2015 when the third videogame by CD Projekt Red (The Witcher III: Wild Hunt) fell into my hands. Unfortunately I wasn’t aware of the existence of the books despite being a long term high fantasy reader because these were never at the public library of my town, neither in the bookshops I used to frequent.

The videogame was fantastic and I enjoyed it like not so many videogames before. The story was excellent to my tastes and then it was when I did my research, bought all the book series and read all of them. Then played the second, previous game (The Witcher 2: Assassin of Kings) and if I didn’t manage to play the very first one it was because of incompatibilities with my PC. Since then, I consider myself a Witcher fan.

youtube

Now, going to the Netflix series. As everyone, I guess, I was very skeptical about the upcoming show; but it’s something that always happens to me when a beloved story and saga gets a TV/movie adaptation. I wasn’t familiar with Netflix at all - never had a subscription before - and neither with the casting, including Henry Cavill. But after watching the show I was pleasantly surprised. I enjoyed it a lot and I think that in general a nice, good work has been done with the Witcher universe here.

I am aware that right now the fandom is divided between those who think the show was fantastic and the book purists that are disappointed and outraged because everything wasn’t like they expected. You ask some and they say they love it and you ask some others and they say they butchered it. Personally I’ve loved the show. I think the casting was a pleasant surprise, specially with Henry Cavill (Geralt) and Anya Chalotra (Yennefer) who have exceeded all my expectations.

For miracles, I must admit I could have never seen Joey Batey (Jaskier) coming. I mean, Jaskier was never one of my favs, in the books he’s relatively OK (but nothing more) and in the videogames I find him (Dandelion) outright annoying. But for the first time the Netflix show has presented me a version of the character that I can love and admire. Thank you, Joey.

Apart from the casting, I thought that the three timelines arranging was brilliant. Some people have felt uncomfortable or even lost with them but despite being confused at them myself at the beginning, I soon got used to the pace and I loved it. Maybe because having read the books and played the games helps, of course. But my husband that is only familiar with the videogames and has never touched the books got used to it immediately, too. So really it’s a matter of will, in this case.

What else: the music was delightful. I was expecting it to be trash because the videogames’ soundtrack is such a masterpiece that I was sure it could be not beaten. Well, it wasn’t anyway, but the show’s soundtrack was decent enough and even amazing at some tracks. I’m very happy they are releasing it tomorrow, because I’m sure as hell I am getting a playlist for my long hours of correcting projects and exams. Also, Joey Batey, again! What a lovely voice!

The show has done really a good work with the female characters. They were already outstanding, empowered and self-aware in the books, even standing for their agency more than in the videogames, sometimes, so I’m happy the show presented this legion of amazing heroines for the newcomers to love and enjoy. Now, I’m biased because Yennefer has been always my personal favourite, but each one of them are fantastically portrayed: the sorceresses, the queen, the princesses, the swordswomen... Kudos to another unexpected miracle: Jodhi May as Calanthe.

Has the show some flaws or things I didn’t like? Of course. Everything can’t be perfect. Personally I didn’t like all the Brokilon arc, it was depicted awfully in the show. I think the last scene, the reunion between Geralt and Ciri, would have worked much better if being loyal - dialogue wise - to the book instead of that awkward silence with just two random lines. In general, Ciri’s arch is a bit dull and boring, but honestly not much more could’ve been done with the changes they took. And yes, the golden dragon episode and the Blaviken episode feel, somehow, rushed and unclear. On the contrary, the rest of episode 1 and 3 were almost canonically perfect. Finally, the physical removal of the uterus and ovaries as a way to sterilize the Aretuza adepts was a bit shocking and gory for my taste, this detail was never clearly specified in the books and it seems added for shock value. I’ve always assumed this sterilization was magical/chemical, not surgical.

But these are sins of the adapting I can pass. I am grateful for Yennefer’s arch, which is barely explored in the books and deserved some focus, and I’m also glad for the portrayed diversity of the show. I know so many people has hated the diverse cast, but I love it and I think it didn’t feel forced; in fact, it was needed for awareness of the main point of the story: exploration about hatred among races. If an actress or actor delivers a good portrayal, caring about the color of the skin is just utter and plain racism.

I also like the sensuality and mature content in the series because it’s a remarkable aspect of the books and it was handled with tasteful delicacy. Not even the nudity felt forced or out of place, Witcher universe has been always mature and sensual.

Another trait both present in the books and games is the dark humor and the goofy situations. What I loved the most about the Witcher universe was this kind of humor, nonexistent in the classics of high fantasy and scarce in the modern ones, but always generous in The Witcher. This is faithfully depicted in the show and has given us plenty of funny and goofy scenes and dialogues. It’s a shame so many people has understood this as a lack of quality or a Netflix input. It isn’t. It’s true to the source. After all, the whole Witcher universe is a self-parody of fantasy genre itself. Taking too much seriously what you see would be the first mistake. Sapko - the author - was the first one to laugh at his own stories.

I think this is getting too long, I’m sorry. All in all I’ve enjoyed the show and I’m looking forward Season 2. I think they did fantastic things and I hope they will keep delivering, expecting them to correct some minor flaws and move on with better world building and character development. Thanks for asking.

#the witcher #netflix #TV show #geralt of rivia #yennefer of vengerberg #cirilla fiona elen riannon #not tr related #my answers #guess this comes because i am liking every witcher gifset in tumblr #what can i do #i loved it :)

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