#it's a pun on self-harm; the idea was to provide methods of inducing pain but in moderate‚ healthy ways as a form of therapy
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being chosen as the dedicated sadist because you're actually a masochist and know the best techniques
#best being a synonym for safest#once devised a whole infosite called Safe Harm™#i never implemented it though because my job sucked out all of my creative energy and i didn't finish it#it's a pun on self-harm; the idea was to provide methods of inducing pain but in moderate‚ healthy ways as a form of therapy#like exercise. exercise hurts.#spicy peppers are just capsaicin oils binding to specific “taste bud” receptors to signal heat pain;#they don't directly cause ulcers like once believed and even has some minor plausibility in promoting the body's ability to heal#things like that#i don't personally self harm for emotional relief or self therapy. and i don't want to be in pain all the time.#just as a disclaimer.#i don't judge or look down on the cutters or punchers or scratchers or immolators; I love you and genuinely want to help#but i don't participate in methods that cause or could potentially cause permanent injury#but there are moments/periods where the desire is there and present and exciting.#And sometimes it's not an appropriate moment and there's no struggle to resist;#and usually that resistance has the urge go away for another 2 or so months with zero mental or emotional regret or other negative impact.#for me‚ in those moments‚ pain is fun. and it doesn't matter if it's real or simulated. it's just gotta be safe.#also i didn't finish the safe harm site also because I was not trying to glamorize self-harm.#i was trying to destigmatize it and give safe alternatives#but#it was mostly taken as glamorizing and romanticizing unsafe coping mechanisms#so I opted to just not continue it if my creative determination returned
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