#it's a pretty big first game spoiler under that cut so if you don't read it I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND FARRAN

[serabellyms]

   ⬐ @etruatcaelum ⬎

12. Do any of your muses “foil” each other in any shape or form?

Not in any way that I can really think of, at least not off the top of my head. Even in the verse where I write the most muses (Mass Effect) they don't, not really.

The closest comparison I could make, though I only write one of the muses, is maybe Ashley and Kaidan, given some of the game's events. I'm going to put it under a readmore/spoiler below, just in case anyone's yet to read their pages/may be playing the game and doesn't want to be spoiled!

Essentially, the whole Virmire scenario I think sets them up that way. They're two very different characters, albeit with similar themes in their backgrounds: they're two people who are discriminated against for something that makes them different, or makes them stand out, and that thing is something they cannot change.

In Kaidan's case, it's his biotics; he's considered a freak by humans for being one, and even among biotics, he's side-eyed and given a wide berth because he's an L2. Unfortunately, he can't change the fact that he's a biotic. Meanwhile, Ashley comes from a family who's been blacklisted by the military because of her grandfather; she's called a coward despite the fact that she's nothing like her grandfather, and as a result, she's paying for his mistakes through her own career (and her father did the same).

Even if you contrast their personalities, the same thing holds true: Kaidan's quieter and more of a gentle personality, whereas Ashley is more gruff, blunt, and straightforward. In some ways, if you play into gender stereotypes, they both meet and undermine traditional gender stereotypes; Kaidan's a gentle guy who feels his feelings, something seen as more traditionally feminine, but at the same time is very distinctly masculine and confident in that masculinity; conversely, Ashley is more aggressive, bossy, and honest, something more traditionally masculine, yet by the third game we see her confident and rocking her femininity by her appearance.

I always find it interesting how they manage to challenge traditional gender stereotypes while still maintaining confidence in their masculinity/femininity to show that feeling your feelings doesn't make you less masculine, and that being bold and aggressive doesn't make you less feminine.

And of course, circling back to Virmire: this is what makes it so difficult to actually choose between them when you do the mission, because despite their differing personalities and the fact that through the second and third game they go through the same experience no matter who you save... their dialogue, their personality, all of it influences their individual story and how it affects them as people.

[foxy-alien]

taz graphic novel thoughts… I’m putting it under the cut because… spoilers silly.

Forewarning this really got away from me and is unfortunately pretty negative. read at your own risk

Huh, this really is an adaption? After the eleventh hour this is a really big let down tbh. Just so much was cut and it felt SO rushed. In the first 3 scenes we lose taako’s “because I’m afraid no one else will have me” and practically ALL of Magnus and the void fish swimming.

Obviously things need to be cut, it’s a completely different medium, but all the emotional payoff was ruined. I was never scared they were going to lose something great, I didn’t even cheer for them when they killed Edward. All the sacrifices are so minimized FOR GOD SAKES MAGNUS AND GOVERNOR KALIN WAS CUT. Are you kidding me? One of the most important sacrifices and emotional moments of TAZ.

With every cut there is a cut to later payoff, in the eleventh hour that was balanced well but here it just doesn't work. So much is cut out of tsg that as a reader there were no stakes to win or lose. I knew they would win because its their story but i didn't care what would happen to them.

So Wonderland was too short, why do I care? because the very heart of the suffering game was lost.

This is the thesis of the suffering game summed up best.

What did they learn in wonderland? How did they change? They don't really. Taako doesn't choose the mission over himself, Magnus doesn't give up his main purpose in life, Merle doesnt lose his faith.

We don't get to see them at their worst because there is no one in Wonderland who their actions effect. I always, ALWAYS tear up at Rowen's "why?" after they go through their round with the monster factory. This catalyses Taako into later choosing to sacrifice his beauty. With the stakes cut we lose the emotional payoff of later scenes.

The solution of the suffering game being too long was not to cut out all of the spinning. It needed a restructuring. Heart attack has every interesting character moment cut, its barely a drive by of the original scene, why not just cut the moment entirely? It doesn't say anything about the character's emotional insights and True sight could have easily been cast at another moment.

Some moments have been adapted beautifully but they ended up reminding me what is lacking. Arms outstretched has great pacing that I had come to expect from the team. But compare that to Magnus's sacrifice and its just... nonexistant.

There was a way to trim down suffering game to fit it and the reunion tour that didn't require cutting every interesting sacrifice.

Now the reunion tour... what a mess. they cut out our narrator to show our plane being cut off, but this section dearly needed some narrative guiding. So much running back and forth in time and locations to make it run smoother but again, they needed a whole restructuring. Which some parts got but for all the wrong reasons.

I was happy that they cut the whole act with Magnus being dead when they get back to the campus because it barely works in audio form. But instead the campus is cleared because of the storm but then its packed for one panel when Carey and Killian cancel their side mission? why have the side mission at all? I'm assuming to drive Carey's and Magnus's friendship but it is a really clunky addition.

Everyone drinking the voidfish ichor separately is visually and narratively frustrating. It happens on a smaller scale in the show but by this point griffin has taken the reins back of the narrative and guides us through it seamlessly.

Griffin's final narration, has been separated and mutilated for what? it barely exists at all. its been replaced with an odd speech from Lucretia being happy about their return.

Its such a confusing moment to end on when you could have had idk THE ORIGINAL BELOVED ENDING?

"And from those pillars, the Hunger’s armies have begun to manifest, marching outward to raze the world below. It’s the end of the world. Again."

Tldr: bruh just read it, but seriously idk the changes made are clunky and dont make sense. and all the moments that are cut ruin the pacing of the rest of the book. It's especially confusing as this is probably one of the most straightforward arcs since petals to the metal and it is the most confusing adaption.

[evenmoreofadisaster]

Hi, it's me again, I left a note in my reply, but now I have another question or request<3 Can you tell us a little bit more about Kendrtwollo? Like how did those two meet? What kind of dynamic and relationship do they have? How does it evolve until it becomes romantic? And what is their dynamic or relationship like when it's romantic? How does his family (Especially One) react to their relationship? (Please tell me he becomes jealous and overprotective XD) While we're at it, how does the rest of the family react to One and Usagi's relationship? (I already read the post about how Two reacts, and I love it<3) And anything else you can tell us about Mikey's future daughter? Having said all that, if there are things you can't tell because of spoilers or because it's not fully planned yet and you'll change it in the future, I'll understand, thank you very much for your time<3

Lol, yes! Response is under the cut bc it's a bit long lmao

This is a minor spoiler for s2 chatper 3, but Kendra and Two actually meet off-screen, when Two enrolls in April's school as Donnie. He joins the purple dragons before moving into April's class. By chapter 3, Donnie is no longer associated with the purple dragons and knows Kendra's just as deceiving as One.

I imagine Kendra and Two's relationship is kind of like enemies to lovers, but they never quite reach the lovers stage. They're kind of like in an endless game of cat and mouse, where Kendra gives Two the attention or validation he needs, then uses his tech (either with or without his permission, depending on what her angle is). She plays him. Two knows this, and, depending on how Two is feeling depends on whether or not he lets Kendra get away with it.

I don't think they'd ever be lovey-dovey or have an official relationship, but Kendra genuinely thinks that Two is a genius which is probably why Two goes back to her. I wouldn't say they develop 'feelings' for each other, but I’d more of an unhealthy attachment.

I don't think Raph and Mikey would know the full extent of Two and Kendra's relationship, but they're not big fans of her. She's thrown Two under the bus and has gone under his nose to steal from him, which they don't appreciate. One KNOWS. He knows Kendra is a bad influence-- this is how Two got into vaping-- he knows Kendra is using Two for his tech and he doesn't like it. I don't think there's anything for One to be jealous of-- since this would most likely happen in the time One goes to Japan with Usagi (post movie arc), therefore isn't around often enough to be jealous-- but One does get super overprotective.

My version of Kendra does kickboxing, so she can beat Two in hand-to-hand. Against One, though, she'd die without her tech.

For One and Usagi's relationship, everyone is pretty much chill with Usagi except for Two and Raph (at first). Raph knows that Usagi is unpredictable and dangerous, so he's definitely on the fence when One hangs out with him post s2. When Raph sees how One can handle Usagi going nuts (more info about that here) and how he calms him down, Raph knows that there's nothing to worry about. Usagi frustrates Raph sometimes, but not any more than his brothers do. They get along. This drives Two insane. Mikey, generally, is just happy that One can be happy and himself around Usagi. You can read about Draxum's thoughts here.

Yes! So far, I'm thinking that Mikey's adopted kid will be EMD's version of Renet. Mikey finds her as he travels the world to help people in need. The details are still fuzzy, but the idea rn is that Renet lost both her parents. Her mother was the apprentice of a time lord, who's either exiled or imprisoned. The mother stole the time scepter that is now in Renet's possession. Renet has no idea what it is or why people are after it, until Mikey finds her and helps.

[oh-no-its-bird]

Sat down and was like "What's the dumbest, most out of pocket crossover I can think of with Naruto." Then remembered that one guy who just went "Madoka magica" under my TMA crossover post and started giggling

So yeah, @thr33dogsinatrenchcoat this one goes out to you, I hope ur happy

So my first thought was just Homura in Naruto, but then my brain said no. Kyubey in Naruto. And then I really lost it

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present to you,

✨️ magical girl Kakashi ✨️

Major Spoilers for Madoka Magica below the cut

(Funilly enough, this has been in my drafts for a while now, well before I started getting really into my magical girl izuna AU)

A quick explanation for those of you here for Kakashi content who have no clue what Madoka Magica is;

Kyubey is a pink immortal rat thing from space who offers specifically pre-teen girls contracts to become magical girls. The girl will be granted a wish as their payment for the contract, then have to fight monsters known as Witches.

How big the wish that they can have granted (wishing for a cake vs wishing to revive the dead for example) depends on their potential as a magical girl. The girls magical girl theme and power will revolve around whatever wish they made— ask for someone to be healed and you may be able to heal faster, ask for happiness and maybe you get to be an empath, etc. As long as you can somehow connect the power to their wish, anything is fair game.

It's later revealed that a) the "soul gem" every magical girl is given when they become a magical girl is literally their soul in physical form. Kyubey just straight up removed their soul from their body and put it in a ROCK. Yes this does mean you can torture a magical girl via her soul gem, and yes if the soul gem gets too far from the girl she will collapse like a puppet who's strings were cut.

And b) witches are actually magical girls who fall victim to negative emotions and have their soul gems consumed by darkness either because they were swallowed by grief or from using too much magic without being able to clean their soul gem (which they can only do by killing witches)

Kyubey does all this because magical girls specifically within the age range of a middle schooler, give off a specific kind of energy when they transform into the witches that Kyubey's race farms for reasons I don't really remember anymore but I'm pretty sure has to do with it being mandatory for their race to live? Dunno it's been years since I watched madoka

Ok context over now for the fun part:

Something about the way humans are made in this world means Kyubey is not restricted to prepubescent girls in offering contracts. It's probably related to their chakra coils or something; Which also translates interestingly into how your amount of chakra and your chakra control affects your power as a magical girl.

Both of which Kakashi has in the bag.

I've read a few different takes about how Kakashi's chakra reserves are actually really big, he's just always running dangerously low bc of the constant drain of the sharingan. (I think this was actually confirmed in one of the novels? Which is neat) And since the overall 'potential' of his maximum chakra reserves is what wins out when it comes to the magical girl contract, he's our ideal customer.

Now, for this set up we aren't going to be using the "Kyubey and the magical girl system have just been around for a long while" but instead we're going with the "kyubey is new to this world and, seeing all of this potential energy, is looking to take a few of these bad boys on a test drive to see how well they work."

(Though there's a very interesting fic there with the angle of kyubey as maybe the equivalent of a 10th secret biiju, maybe locked away somewhere, and maybe released by forming a contract with someone— His junchuriki perhaps?)

This brings up an interesting question! A world where theyre havent been any magical girls yet made means that its a world without witches. And in a world without witches, what is Kyubey's explanation for why he needs magical girls when asked?

In the show we are shown that if pressed and asked the right questions, Kyubey will often tell the truth of the matter — that eventually a magical girl will self destruct and Kyubey farms the energy they release when they turn into a witch.

I can't see any shinobi worth their salt just accepting a suspicious contract for even more suspicious power from an impossibly MORE suspicious little magic rat thing. Kakashi especially. Questions WILL be asked and I do think it wouldn't actually be that hard to get Kyubey to give up the truth. Honestly, knowing the things personality and how it likes to take the logical approach, he might see that just telling the truth may actually help convince some people.

Because yeah, horrible fate aside, it's a lot easier to buy into promises of power when you know exactly what the catch will eventually be, and when it'll probably start kicking in.

There's a lot of people in Naruto who would can and have traded a LOT more than just their soul for power and a free wish. I can see people taking Kyubeys deal as is, Kakashi included under the right circumstances.

And besides that, there are plenty of times when the situation is last minute and intense to have the time to ask questions. Kyubey appearing in some life or death battle offering a miracle would probably be able to get a "fuck it what's the worst that can happen" from pretty much anyone

Anyways there are a few different paths we can take with the how's and why's Kakashi becomes a magical girl, and it largley depends on when exactly Kyubey approaches him about it.

1; Minato Route

Wishes for Minato and everyone to please just stay safe during "Madara's" attack, saving them and trading his soul for it in the process. He has no regrets tho, he refuses to.

This path I think would be fun if Kyubey shows up for the first time super last minute and Kakashi is pressed into a rushed contract and rushed wish. But I can also see if maybe he'd been approached by Kyubey beforehand, it's just that he was trying to sort out whether he trusted the rat enough to make a deal and sort out the exact wording of his wish. But oops no more time for that Kyubey please just keep his family safe!

It'd be fun if that was his exact wording actually. "I wish to keep my family safe"

Maybe it'd mean that even in the future, if he finds someone he considers to be his family, the wish will grow and apply to them? And then ""safe"" is such an abstract concept, especially to shinobi. What does it mean to be safe? Maybe it can end up backfiring in some way eventually, idk

2; Obito Route

^ Like he considers obito family, so maybe Obito is out there reaping the benefits of this wish as he tears shit up bc Kakashi never considered his wish could protect someone who might wish him harm.

This'd also mean Minato and Kushina are around!!! That'd impact a fuck ton of stuff for sure. I feel like without them dissapearing as his final push off the edge, Kakashi for sure wouldn't be the same guy we see in canon. He at least has some form of safety net to catch him, even if he's deep in depression and might not realize that net is there.

After either Kanabi bridge or Rin's death, Kakashi is approached by Kyubey, reads the terms and conditions of the contract, and then wishes for Obito and or Rin to come back to life. This, specifically with Obito, I see going one of two ways;

Kyubey, a bastard, who somehow magically knows Obito is alive: "Are you sure this is what you want to use your wish for?"

Kakashi: "fuck you yes I am"

Kyubey: "I mean if you say so lmao" (Less work for me)

Or,

Kyubey, somehow magically knowing Obito is alive and not wanting to have Kakashi waste this wish because say what you will, he's fair about this shit (to a degree anyways): "Unfortunatley I can't revive people who never died!"

Kakashi: "What."

*queue Kakashi going on a mission to find Obito and becoming a sparkly magical girl along the way wooo we love to see it*

3; The great dilemma, aka TIME TRAVEL !!!!!!!!!!!!

He failed Itachi, leading to the deaths of the entire Uchiha clan.

I'm so sorry you guys time travel is like 90% of what I do and I don't think it's gonna change any time soon

So, Kakashi is approached by Kyubey after the Uchiha massacre. At this point he has a whole fucking list of people he might want to try to revive or save, but he can only make a wish so big. He has enough power to wish one or two people back from the dead— an honestly incredibly feat in itself —but not everyone.

He failed his team, leading to their deaths and Naruto's sad orphan life.

He failed countless mission partners over the years, watching shinobi's fall dead left and right because of a wrong call or knife thrown a second too late

Now for his relationship with Kyubey—

He can't wish them all back. But he can wish for a second chance.

And yeah ok as I'm writing this I'm realizing we've turned right back around and started a fr Madoka magica AU I didn't mean to do that actually, oops.

But yeah time travel magical girl Kakashi !!! Given the time to really think about his wish and too many people to save, he wishes for a second chance.

Does he end up in his kid body or does he stay an 18 year old?

Is he alone or does Kyubey (having learned his mistake from Homura and Madoka) make sure to come along with?

Does his sharingan somehow pull Obito back with him or is he really alone?

Fuck ok actually as I write this one I think this might be The One, The AU, so we're gonna shelve this for another post on its own so we can keep just talking ab the set up.

So disclaimer, I haven't actually watched Madoka in forever, but I think it's safe to say that Kyubey is honestly pretty decent when it comes to guiding his magical girls? I mean, up until they fall off a cliff of despair and turn into monsters, but till then he holds up his end of the contract really well? He'll generally come when they call, answer their questions when asked, check in on them to make sure they're adapting to the lifestyle, sometimes even help keep them informed about local magical girls or witches or just give out free advice.

Don't get me wrong, Kyubey is a fucking rat and not to be trusted, he tricks little girls into literally selling their souls, but he has a clear work ethic and method. He's just also incapable of feeling human emotion and seems genuinely confused at why people would be alarmed or upset at, you know, everything.

But I think that's what would make him work so well in a shinobi world! Especially if he looks at the world and it's people and decides that upfront honesty would be the best play in recruiting someone as his magical girl test drive.

I think it could be interesting if Kakashi and Kyubey could have an actually somewhat positive relationship. Well, as positive as it can get for a traumatized ninja boy and a space rat with no real concept of human emotions outside of what it's read in a textbook about manipulating little girls.

They have an alarmingly functional workplace relationship. Kakashi signed a contract knowing what kind of death it'd probably lead him to (and it's not like it's that different from the end he already knows he'll face one day) and Kyubey is contractually bound to stick around and lend a helping hand and a bit of companionship when applicable.

Also, with Kakashi being his first magical girl test run in this world, he's just kind of monitoring the project? He wants to see it to the end before he gets started on widespread magical girl contracts, because again, logical emotionless little rat thing who knows better than to assume that since it's gone well so far it'll end well too. He wants to collect ALL the data before settling in for good.

Kyubey is giving Kakashi weirdly reaffirming (and much needed) positive reinforcement in all of this. He's impressed with how well the project is going! Kakashi is going through so much constant misery that despite somehow not turning into a witch out of despair, he's still giving a near constant output of that same energy Kyubey farms that usually only comes out when a magical girl witches out. Maybe that's also actually something related to the chakra coils— instead of giving one big explosion of energy when they turn into a witch, the people of this world are able to give a continuous stream of it just by existing and being miserable. Which also gives Kyubey even more of a reason to want to see Kakashi keep living! This guy is a one man army when it comes to energy! It's great!

Also it'd be kind of fucked up but in a funny way if Kyubey straight up told Kakashi this (Maybe Kakashi actually asks to be kept up to date on all of Kyubey's little project notes of studying him?) And it being somewhat of a comfort to him. Like. Yeah, he's a failure cursed to always have those he loves die in his arms or at his hands, but at least his suffering is helping the universe in some way! That's something, right? Right???

Anyways, power and appearence time

So like, obviously there's a VERY large chance that Kakashi would end up with some sort of healing power as a magical girl. Because yknow, there is basically no universe where Kakashi doesn't use his wish to either heal someone, protect someone, or bring someone back from the dead— which lines up pretty directly to a healing based power.

But just normal healing is too boring so lets get spicy with it! Let's lay out some power options!

1) Blood healing

So my favorite twist on a normal healing power is a simple one; He regenerates stupid fast, to the point that he can even reattach limbs, but it's all in his blood. As long as his blood is touching a wound, it's healed in seconds to minutes.

This is also means his blood can also be used to heal others! For good or for bad. Fights can get a lot more complicated when your enemy realizes that they can use your own healing methods on them— even if the blood does only work on what it can touch, so they gotta risk shoving that shit in there if the wound is too deep.

If you want an extra bit of spice on top of that also, you can say the blood doesn't just heal people. Maybe it can heal any living thing— plants included

(I'm ngl I typed all this out then kind of squinted at my screen and went wait isn't this what Karin does? I don't actually know the details of her powers no one tell me if I'm right, I don't actually care)

2) Wound substitution

Here's an incredibly in character ability; He can take on the wounds of his comrades. They get hurt but he takes the hit. It'd so fit his self sacrificing ass too.

Maybe he can have advanced healing from the wounds he steals from his companions, maybe he only inherits them by halves, maybe it's the full deal.

Maybe it's involuntary or maybe he can only do it on purpose. Involuntary could be interesting and offer serious consequences down the line.

I'd love to see a dog themed magical girl Kakashi I think it would cure all of my mental illnesses and give me like 30 more.

3) Sheilds but make them zappy

Thunder shields could be interesting. Maybe he can use the shields to encase his limbs to deliver an extra oomf or smthn, just for funzies.

4) Something to do with eyes

You know I gotta at least consider smthn with eyes, like cmon. Whether it's because his wish was phrased in a way that could catch on it, or it's just how the magic interacted with his sharingan, I wanna see some eye stuff!!!

Maybe whatever healing ability he has is all centered in the eye or smthn, or maybe if it's like a self healing ability he regenerates eyes first or smthn idk.

4) Time powers ✨️

You know I had to.

In the route where he wishes for a second chance he so gets time powers. It's very cool. It's also very very fucking OP so it'd be tricky to work around in giving him a fr obstacle. Maybe if Obito comes back with him, the sharingan somehow makes him immune? Like, whenever Kakashi stops time, Obito isn't stopped.

I'm ngl Im running low on power ideas rn so let's move on, but like leave that open ended

Would Kakashi's magical girl outfit be something that adapts to his style and is created by his subconscious desires, as I'm pretty sure is accurate according to Madoka Magica lore? Yes. But do I think it would be funny to put him in a fluffy magical girl skirt? Even bigger yes, put that man in a dress and heels immediatley.

For Kakashi's soul gem, I think it'd be really fun if instead of taking the form of a ring, it was instead either an earring or— hear me out guys, lip ring or tongue piercing

It's perfect! He already hides his face, no one would even know it was there! Also both lip rings and tongue piercings are so cute

His soul gem is red with a silver case and we all know why. When he transforms it doesn't glow red tho, it glows white because something something hatake white chakra or something, idk

Anyways this has been sitting in my drafts for like 2 weeks now, so I'm gonna go ahead and hit post even tho I'm not totally satisfied with what I have here. Better to put it out for the few who'd enjoy it than keep it in the trunk bc I'm unsatisfied, right? Maybe I'll come back to it later, idk.

[femmmie]

Review of Smosh's Funeral Roast

I am harsh at times, but know it all comes from a place of love!

Spoilers under the cut

I live in Europe. This is relevant because of timezones: the funeral roast of Anthony Padilla was live at 6pm for them, meaning 3am for me. I am not the youthful insomniac I once was so I had to train my sleep schedule the entire week - otherwise I would miss it because I fell asleep. But I wanted to witness this live. I love smosh.

The trailer for this roast deserves an award: Ian and the cast have a movie night as suddenly the light turns blue and everyone but Ian freezes. He seems to know what's going on and discovers a zombie or ghost like Anthony levitating. The cast of the roast are all introduced and all play a gothic, churchy kind of character. See the full trailer here (it's currently at 666k views, how fun):

Around 1am I got impatient and decided not to wait for my alarm clock but to install myself on the couch, with a blanket and a scarf, and a hot cup of tea, god knows I would need it. I watched episodes of the Scott Pilgrim Netflix series to kill the time. The character Todd Ingram reminded me a lot of Anthony and I wonder whether Anthony has 'vegan superpowers' as well. Probably so.

Finally, the pre-show begins. This is pretty uneventful as they play a game and succesfully convince thousands of viewers to buy their tickets to the main show. I look at them. Everyone is gorgeous. But I can't look away from Ian and Anthony. And here is where I stray from actually reviewing the show to let my inner fangirl out: holy fuck they are hot. Me and my friends on tumblr have been making 'forgive me Father, for I have SINNED' jokes because his character, 'the pastor', just brings that out in people. We're not used to Ian in black, or in a robe, and he looks phenomenal. And then there is Anthony, clothed in a ridiculous Harry Styles-esque lace top with lace gloves, resting his head on Ian's shoulder. It's such a cute moment, Ian pushes him upright. He can be alive for a second before his funeral. My heart melts. Honerable mention: Courtney's bikini girl cleavage right behind Ian. The girls were ready to rock. Okay, okay, back to the review.

The room feels kind of small and a bit claustrophobic. The Smosh art dept. always steps up, so the stained glass "friendship never dies" high-five looks incredible, and the megachad-Anthony portrait hilarious. The casket is huge. But the props make the set look even smaller. I think the problem is the cameras. I realize how difficult camerawork is when you have multiple focus points to switch between, but next time they should do a lot of practice with this to streamline, to get everyone in the shot and better capture people's reactions to the roasts.

Ian walks in. He starts off with a bit about who Anthony is: a hot, hardworking guy with a big dick. Those are the main takeaways of his roasts.

Amanda is next. She looks beautiful but very wacky. Her deliverance and accent are stellar, though. She truly is top talent at Smosh. Her roasts are also some of the most scorching of the night. She doesn't shy away from calling out Anthony's past problematic behavior and less than stellar performance in the bedroom ("look it up!") She gets a round of applause and deservedly so.

Tommy follows with a kind of angry roast, and proceeds to read the will, from which nobody comes away unscathed. I feels like his words about Anthony supposedly hating the cast are a necessary evil. Just the same day Anthony posted his interview with Shayne on his personal channel. There we learned that Shayne didn't know before if Ian and Anthony actually had wanted to hire them. Anthony said they were very much involved, something I don't know whether to believe. As apparently, Ian never talked about it with Shayne either, for all those years. Shayne had also been very apprehensive when Anthony came back, not knowing what would happen and the first change was to boot the entire cast off the main channel. I feel like Tommy's roast puts the topic on the table and hopefully they will talk about it more until nobody has any doubt left.

Now I have to insert that one of my main critiques of the night is that lots of people both did a lot of obvious jokes (tattoos, leaving smosh, general appearance) and did not go hard enough. Anthony kind of has an awkward CEO vibe (he's not the ceo but still) about him that seems to make even the cast a bit wary of him. I had hoped for jokes about that.

Brandon Rogers is next and rightfully points out the lack of celebrities in the line-up. Doesn't Anthony have more friends who want to roast him? Either he doesn't or the rest of Smosh don't have access to them. Which is both fine, because it is a Smosh party after all.

Arasha comes in swinging with all kinds of Zoomer slang that I frankly don't understand but her deadpan delivery is like a breath of fresh air. She ends with a very nice message. That kind of undercuts her roasts though, I wish she would have been meaner.

Now it is time for the musical half-time show, which actually deserves its own review. Performed by Angela and Chanse, this is incredible. By far, the most professional part of the evening. These are no theater kids, as they still call themselves. These are Broadway acTORS! I was really taken away by their talent. Not only do they act, but they also sing amazingly? Did you hear Angela do screamo?! And Chanse's riffs? They pointedly mention the sexual tension between Ian and Anthony, both on- and off screen. This has been occupying my mind ever since. Wow, sorry I went fangirl-mode again. But the halftime show simply is that good. Keith makes an appearance at the end and brings the show back down to earth with his humor.

The biggest surprise guests are next in what I can only describe as Dan telling the horny tale of his years long obsession with Anthony, and the many, many times he unloaded on the 'sexy Anthony' calender (which is a real calender, I was there when it came out but was broke at the time, darnit). Dan and Phil have been shedding their PG personas on their own channels for a while now, but for those who don't watch them daily this December - they're doing gamingmas and it's chaos - it is shocking what X-rated stuff comes out of their mouths. Anthony is visibly taken aback. Good!

As the show progresses, Ian keeps moderating as the pastor. It is great to see him so in control and enjoying the roast of his best friend. The joke of Ian not being able to show his emotions comes up a lot, but today I see him mainly just having fun.

Of course, then there is Bikini Girl, whom I had high hopes for, maybe too high. She is hilarious, but nothing really stings. Courtney does also direct the whole show, so super kudos to her. I just don't think she has the best roasts. She is followed by Rhett and Link, who just do their regular thing. It is funny but not very original. You can only hear so many tattoo jokes before it gets old. We do see Link's bare torso, so a win for fangirls (gender neutral).

Then Shayne, or should I say the Chosen has his turn. He is absolutely in character and does great. I just don't know if the Chosen is the best person to deliver roasts. It feels more like a Shayne party than a roast of Anthony. Which enough people love all the same, I'm sure.

Angela is 'the vessel', a possessed girl, reading the roasts from the audience. These roasts are very mid (they should have included mine! /j), but her delivery is again stellar. Smosh is really lucky to have her.

And last but not least, Ian goes on a second roasting spree. Only, it isn't a roast? He just makes fun of Anthony’s baby picture and then proceeds to tell Anthony how grateful he is for him, how he's so glad they are friends again and that he loves him? Anthony is crying by this time, which makes the moment even more tender.

Of course, Anthony has to do a counter-roast. It is apparent that he is still affected by all the roasting or 'love-bombing' as Amanda calls it. And he's not as good at live comedy yet. Still, his jokes are funny and really in Anthony's own style. He concludes with Ian's quote of being happy to burn Smosh to the ground with him. I knew that quote would be ingrained in Anthony's mind. It was one of the sweetest things Ian had ever said to him, after all. Until Ian has now told him he loves him, of course.

And then it was 5 am. I got a healthy two hours of sleep in! I came away from this roast with a content smile and a full heart. This was well worth the ticket, the staying up late. I am happy to be a member and support them monthly, I've loved their humor even before they started their youtube channel. I love Smosh. I'm so happy that Anthony is back. Smosh is whole again. And it brings out that light in Ian's eyes. He is funny in an unhinged way again. I truly love Anthony and Ian and their dumb videos. I want them to continue to make them forever. These kinds of live shows are fun. But Ian and Anthony truly shine in their off the walls absurdist sketches.

Special shout-out to my bestie @only-frann who I could scream at this whole day.

[makethosenarratorsfight]

UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; SIDE B

Yoon Jongwoo Propaganda:

So technically not a narrator but he's the main char/protagonist who we follow from majority of the show. But, he is slowly losing his mind due to: fear, paranoia, ptsd, being drugged, and lack of sleep. Big big spoiler for the last episode but we originally see him only killing in self defense and the main villian being the one to kill off/brutally murder the henchpeople BUT later on after the fight it comes out that HE was the one who killed them and he actually was even talking to himself at one point. It throws the whole episode into a new light and then makes u wo der how much of the rest of the show may have also been different than what we originally saw. How innocent is he??

Kim Dokja Propaganda:

I haven't read orv but he's fucking gotta be from what I've osmosised

He tries to remove his emotions out of the narrative soooo much, literally the most repressed guy ever. Okay so for context orv is about how this guy, Kim Dokja, has been the only reader of an obscure post-apocalyptic webnovel for years and the novel suddenly becomes reality. And at first you'll probably get the weird impression that his behavior is pretty strange for, you know, a literal apocalypse happening in his world - like yes, he is concerned with survival but he doesn't seem all that scared and he kinda treats it like a video game where he has to grind to make himself stronger and he also treats his companions like a party in an rpg. Then there's also the way he approaches the protagonist of the webnovel, from the start he just kind of describes him as a ruthless psychopath and jerk that is unfortunately a pretty useful ally. And also there's the fact that he carefully omits any mention of his past and when somebody asks if he's worried about his family when the apocalypse starts he just kinda... brushes it off? Anyway so yeah, this bastard is definitely traumatized, although I don't know how much of spoiler territory that would be, considering the fact that literally when he first reveals his trauma he's also unreliable about it. And turns out he does indeed, care A LOT about this world and the people around him. Because well, he kinda didn't care to mention that this webnovel that has become reality was like... literally his whole world before it literally became his whole world. Like, it was the only thing keeping him going for 10+ years and the protagonist that he likes to call a stupid jerk was his comfort character who he pretended to be when he felt like he couldn't handle something in his life by being himself. The protagonist is also canonically the person he loves the most according to a prophecy and he literally can't fathom the thought of him dying, even the timeline versions of him that directly oppose him. And I haven't even mentioned the Fourth Wall yet but I feel like this propaganda is a little long already

misreading the intentions of his companion (yoo joonghyuk) so many time.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTANDDD DOKJA IS SUCH A UNRELIABLE NARRATORRRRRR GOD I COULD WRITE AN ESSAY BUT I KNOW YOU LOVE DOKJA TOO BUT OMG HE'S JUST SO AAAAAAAAAAAH

he is the worst like actually. he starts the story talking about how normal and average he is. he is not. he is constantly mischaracterizing his friends and he's so good at lying to the readers that you don't even realize it at first. almost every single time he cries we have to be told by other characters because he never says it himself. there is literally a scene where his narration says "i wasn't crying" and then the in-universe entity that narrates the actions of people (orv is really weird and meta) says that he was, in fact, crying. honestly genuinely anything he says about himself (or doesn't say) cannot be trusted. he is just so frustrating. he drives me mad. i love him dearly. but he drives me so mad.

Rest of Propaganda under cut!

Dictionary definition of unreliable narrator. Does not tell the reader anything and then things happen and he's like oh yeah btw there was also this and this earlier but i just didn't feel like mentioning it. There's even a thing called the "Fourth Wall" that is able to see through kdj's bs so occasionally you get gems like, Kim Dokja: I didn't cry The Fourth Wall: [Kim Dokja was crying] Imagine being so unreliable as a narrator you need a more powerful narrator to call out the actual narrator.

This goes into spoiler territory, but; Kim Dokja is in possession of a skill called the Fourth Wall, which on the surface seems like it appears because he read the book that reverse-isekai’d into his own. However, as the story goes on it becomes clear that it’s pretty much a souped up version of his pre-existing dissociation. You cannot trust him to be honest about his feelings, his past traumas or his feelings about his past traumas, not to mention his tendency to just outright omit information that only gets revealed later on either when it becomes relevant or when an outsider POV reveals what’s actually happening. Exhibit A: he says (in 1st person POV) that he’s not crying. The Fourth Wall immediately contradicts this (as it is literally words of the novel) by saying (in 3rd person POV) ‘Kim Dokja was crying’. Exhibit B: Fails to mention entire actions when it shows him emotionally honest even in the slightest; we had to read from another character entirely when Kim Dokja was being physically affectionate with his companion. It’s so bad that there’s this entire paragraph about Kim Dokja describing himself hiding his eyes in his hands in jerky, weirdly specific detail and just AVOIDING EVERY WORD THAT MIGHT SHOW HE’S CRYING. The brilliance of ORV is that when you re-read the entire thing you get hints that ‘yes, this WAS hinted at the entire time’ but you have to dig it out of Kim Dokja’s repressed, depressed self-hating internal dialogue with your own two hands.

i am a simple man (not a man). i see a tumblr text post with the words “unreliable narrator in it”. i read nothing else. i reblog & tag #kim dokja okay but in all seriousness i’m just going with the musty basic example: so there’s this moment where he sacrifices himself to save this guy. as he lays on the ground bleeding out, he says “hey, you don’t like me, right? you should kill me to get some money” the guy says “no kim dokja i cant do that (going through the five stages of grief except there’s only one and it’s anger)” the constellations (twitch viewers irl) are like omg he (the guy) doesn’t want to kill his companion (kim dokja) and shower him (the guy) with money kim dokja: oh, he’s not killing me for the money. smart! as i quote a brilliant youtube video (all of omniscient reader’s viewpoint in 6 minutes) “yoo joonghyuk sees kim dokja as a c_____” yoo joonghyuk: companion kim dokja: cunt

Hides his true feelings, tells the readers what he thinks is convenient for the plot and that his own personal feelings don’t matter or are not so significant. Has unreliable thoughts abt his companion and is a liar. And is also an omniscient reader.

Kim Dokja always perceived his companions in this like nonchalant way like “oh yeah we get along but really we’re just fighting to survive (apocalypse setting) it doesn’t run that deep” when they all do genuinely care for him and he does in turn. He just, doesn’t think of it as an equal relationship? Dokja’ll sacrifice a lot for them but will get seriously flabbergasted if they do the same thing, so fricking problematic. Not to mention Yoo Joonghyuk, his “Life and Death Companion” (read: husband). Kim Dokja always seems to think that Joonghyuk has it out for him, which is kinda true, but he is literally blind to the fact that he’s attached to him. Like, it’s so obvious??? Also they have hella sexual tension but that’s another thing entirely

se get some many pov changes where kdj in his pov just assumed things based on what he knew the characters would do. however because of his interference the characters have changed and he wouldn’t know that if it hit him in the face

He's an unreliable narrator because he lies to himself and thus the audience. He literally rewrote his own childhood core memory. If someone says, "this guy is my friend!" He will go through so many hoola hoops in his mind just to rationalize it. Because he fundamentally believe that no one could love him and even if they did they couldn't know him and he's just gonna hurt them. He cries sometimes in canon but a lot of those times it's not even mentioned as crying he's that unreliable of a narrator. No joke, one time this guys he has a gay thing with called him his "companion" to someone who had just killed him (long story) and this bitch thought "oh wow he's doing it for the coins (another long story) he's so smart i wish I'd thought to that. He's terrible. He literally has an exchange with something called the Fourth Wall (an even longer story) where it said "you're crying" and he said "no I'm not" but he was crying. He makes me insane because the reader is supposed to project onto him. He made me see how much of an unreliable narrator I WAS. ORV is just like that tho.

[deafeninggardenerpanda]

Could you please tell us more about Leon and Carol's characterizations in the Light Novels that you know of? I'm super curious about their personalities since we don't get a ton to work off of in the Forgotten Land game itself! :)

OMG YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS MY BELOVEDS!!!!! okay so the only one with those two in it ive read myself is the samurai novel ofc, and even then ive only read half of that one, but i do know what happens in the fl novels. tho i wont recount too much from that due to the said, i havent properly read them thing. slight spoilers for samurai novel btw so ill stick this ramble under a cut

disclaimer first of all that since the samurai novel is an au, their personalities could be a bit different from the fl novels (dedede and mk are Veryy different for example), but for the most part i think they act just about exactly how youd expect them to!

leon is exceptionally kind and cares a lot about the rest of the beast pack, to the point of being overprotective at times. when elfilin brings back kirby and bandee to their home saying theyre friends leon just gives them an intense look and acts cold to them, not seeming to trust them. when dedede comes over later and accuses elfilin of being a criminal he gets absolutely FURIOUS, but calms down and apologizes after seeing that hes scaring dedede a little by doing so. he acts how youd expect a leader to too, with an aura of dignity and firm but understanding communications with the rest of the pack, and hes able to put aside his own feelings on things for the greater good.

carol in comparison bounces off of him really well i feel. shes more headstrong and emotionally driven and will huff and puff a little over leon's decisions if she doesnt necessarily agree with them, though she relents to those decisions in the end once leon explains his reasoning. but if its not leon making those decisions she doesnt agree with, watch out. just like the game, she takes position of leader when leons not around and when dedede+meta told her she couldnt go off to forgo dreams to save him she got outright aggressive LOL. shes pretty sharp minded and usually the first to speak her mind. also she shittalked dedede i just wanted to bring that up. we love a mean girl

again im only halfway through, but the beast pack as a whole play a surprisingly big role in the samurai novel. i rlly look forward to seeing more of them >:]]]

[remnantsofthepast-if]

What exactly you didn't like in new da, if you don't mind asking? <3

Oof, where to start? There're quite a lot of things, not gonna lie, but most of them are spoilers so I'm going to stick to the non spoilery ones.

Let me begin by saying that I do like the game despite its clear flaws, and I understand that it must have been a tricky development with covid happening in between and a lot of important people who worked on previous games leaving. As a (somewhat of a) developer myself, I sympathise with that, but as a consumer I have to judge the end result I bought, and after waiting for a decade I just expected something more than what we got.

Putting my opinion under the cut because I get passionate about it. Hope you have time to spare, lol!

For starters, this game gets rid of the Keep and only has three choices to import. While most of the things in the Keep are not really important (especially since the game takes place in the north), that's already a bad start and rises serious concerns, mainly with the returning characters.

It also butchers half of the already existing lore, and contradicts another bunch of events that happened in previous games, like the Well of Sorrows. Harding talks about how the Inquisitor went to the altar of Mythal (which only happens if the Inquisitor drank from the Well), but then, during a conversation between Taash and Emmrich, they talk about how Morrigan turned into a dragon during the events of DAI (which only happens of she drank from the Well)

The pacing of the first half of the game is excruciatingly slow. There are a lot of parts that are there only to lengthen the game unnecessarily, and it can get very boring very fast.

The dialogues are... okay-ish, I guess? It's very obvious that they wanted to be socially correct. Way too much, in fact. They seemed so focused on being inoffensive that there’s little real conflict between characters or in the plot. There's a part where two characters apparently argue? Except that there's no real argument. I only knew because the game told me, otherwise I wouldn't have noticed because again, nothing really happened. And they were completely fine with one another after one conversation two minutes later.

All the companions feel rather dull to me, and some are incredibly annoying. For example, there was a series of quests regarding Solas that I enjoyed at lot, and the companions would get together to comment on it. It was a serious and very interesting subject, but then one of the characters would jump out of the blue to (try to) make some witty remark that only managed to take me out of the story.

Plus, the childish dialogue most of them have (all of them, really) doesn't help at all. Another problem of being socially correct in a game that's supposed to be dark. Most of the time, conversations with them feel more like talking to teenagers than adults.

And don't even get me started on how awful Taash's character is... And no, the problem is not their gender identity, but how it was handled. This ask I got about Albert/Lavina describes perfectly my problem with Taash.

Also, and this only happens with the spanish translation, why the fuck did they translate Harding's name? Why is the text calling her Encaje instead of Lace!? God, that pissed me off so much I ended up changing the text to english, lmao!

Lastly, what they did to some of the returning characters... Poor Isabela, smh. Thank goodness Morrigan doesn't have that big of a role, and that there's zero mention of the Warden and Hawke.

---

It's not as bad as I read in early reviews (thankfully!), and I'm still having fun with it. But I expected to get so invested that I'd end up making several runs like in previous games. Now I'm only playing once and probably forget about it for a long while. Hopefully when (if) I replay it I won't ditch it like I ditched my second run of MEA.

Anyway, TLDR: Mediocre at best. Good individual game, but pretty bad sequel. The only good thing this game does as a sequel is give those Inquisitors who romanced Solas a happy ending. That's pretty much it.

The name "Dragon Age" weights heavily on it. Probably the reason why I'm judging it so harshly.

Thanks for the ask, btw! That was entertaining xD Shame on me for spending more time writing this than a chapter of my story, lol!

[onyx-archer]

Open World, Shallow Structure: A Look at Zelda and It's Future

Originally, I was going to make my next post about another Life is Strange game, but I've been in a bit of a Zelda mood thanks to playing around with the Ocarina of TIme/Majora's Mask Combo Randomizer, so I wanted to talk about the Zelda series for a minute. As the title would suggest, I wanted to talk about Zelda's current open world direction, why I'm not a fan, and where I think it could improve.

As this is more about game design and less about story, spoilers will be minimal, but present. Just assume that I'm expecting you to be familiar with most Zelda games and their stories, and that I'll mention things from them when I think it's relevant. I'm going to be citing things from the 3D Zelda titles especially, because 2D Zelda is a different beast, but I'll mention things about them when necessary to illustrate a point. I'll put this under the cut cause it's gonna be long, but I have a lot of thoughts.

I also want to say up front that if you like the modern style of Zelda seen in Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom, that's great! You saw something in those games that I didn't, and I don't want to take that away from you! I just want to talk shop about Zelda's current struggle with game design as a fan who's been playing these games since they were like, 6.

With that, you know the drill, go under the cut if you wanna keep reading.

When I first played Breath of the Wild, I want to be real with y'all for a minute: I put it down after a few hours. I had basically gotten to the point where I was on my way to Zora's Domain, got side-tracked by some Shrines and other stuff, and got bored. What a lot of people see as an adventure full of wonder just felt like I was being side tracked by things that ultimately didn't matter. I've since beaten the game, and even 100%'d it, which is something I'd never recommend anyone sane do more than once.

Cards on the table: I haven't really touched Tears of the Kingdom in any real capacity yet. I watched some people play it, and asked a friend who is a diehard Zelda fan what he thought, and both things lead to the same conclusion: it's just Breath of the Wild 2.0. Which, I mean, duh, of course it was, that's a game that a lot of people liked, and so Nintendo would have to be pretty freaking dumb to not capitalize on that. Even I was initially positive about the choice, because I had thought that since they were going to be building off of the base of a game as beloved as BotW, that we'd see something like a "Majora's Mask" to BotW's "Ocarina of Time" in a lot of ways. In some ways, we got that, but in most ways where I think it mattered, we didn't.

So how can I judge a game I really haven't played? Well, it's built off of one I have played, so I can look at it through that lens. I can also take what I've heard from friends who have played it into consideration. With those things in mind, I've come up with a few core problems that I have with the current direction of Zelda that I hope are righted when the next game comes out in like, 7 years (cause let's be real, it's gonna be a long while before the next big game hits).

The Dungeons:

A big sticking point for a lot of more classic fans of the Zelda series that has yet to actually be remedied is the dungeons. More specifically, how the two most recent titles (not counting the Link's Awakening remake and the Skyward Sword remaster) don't really have tightly designed dungeons. I believe this is a consequence of the open-ended design, and the fact that the developers have leaned too hard into "solve the puzzles in any number of different ways" to allow for that tight design.

Zelda dungeons in the past, for the most part, are a combination of combat encounters and puzzle rooms, with a sense of exploration as you move through them. While I feel as though the combat aspect has been preserved to a degree, everything else is just lacking.

The combat in Zelda pre-Skyward Sword was pretty basic for the most part (just whacking guys with glorified sticks), and this is something that Breath of the Wild has objectively improved in a lot of ways. Combat just feels better, even if there's objectively a lot of jank when managing the inventory to swap between weapons. The only part of combat that is outright trash is the weapon degradation, which I'll cover later.

However, there is one thing that has been lost in this, and it ties into the puzzle element: boss fights.

Bosses in Zelda's past are basic in certain respects, but have layers that lean into the puzzle solving component of the game design. Usually, the bosses require you to play into the dungeon gimmick, which usually involves the tool you get in said dungeon, or in the lead up to the dungeon, which is the case for something like Bongo Bongo in Ocarina of Time. While sure, a lot of this leads to pretty obvious design quirks that make the bosses less challenging overall for some, and lead to mixed results as the series went on, the bosses did more than test your mettle, they tested you on the tools you have.

For every item that has limited use like the Spinner in Twilight Princess, there are items that have utility in ways beyond their dungeon of acquisition. This is typically for staples like the Bow, the Bombs, the Hookshot, etc, but it can also be for things like the Gust Jar or the Beetle from Skyward Sword. Yeah, they aren't as universally useful, but they are still useful, and can be used to add puzzle variety. Beyond just using the tool to exploit a weakness in the boss, they had other uses, and while some were definitely more limited than others, it was still some use.

Modern Zelda has decided that puzzles should be solvable in ways tied to the tools you get during the tutorial for the most part, and I think this has lead to the degradation of feeling of solving a puzzle. While sure, there are times when open-ended solutions to puzzles feels satisfying, it also leads to situations where the player can just cheese an answer, and while that may satisfy some in a creative sense, it leaves the people who want to solve head scratchers feeling like they wasted their time trying to think how the developers wanted the puzzle to be solved.

The fact that BotW and TotK puzzles can be solved in a number of ways, but also really only expect the player to have the tools they got during the tutorial area makes the puzzles feel... flat, for the lack of a better term.

This, in tern, makes the design of dungeons feel less satisfying to explore, because it has lead to the designers basically making all of the dungeon "find X number of keys to open the door to the boss." Yeah, classic Zelda was that at it's core, but the puzzles, while certainly not super complex because of their target audience, often had variety in ways that the modern ones just don't. That variety masked the blatant "find keys" part of the journey, which I feel is so obvious in the modern games that it sucks the sense of wonder exploring the dungeons used to bring. From what I've seen of TotK, this problem is made worse because the game just tells you that you need to find 5 things to unlock a door up front, and that's just kinda lame.

I'm not going to pretend the puzzles in OoT are complete brain ticklers, but they had some fun solutions. Opening the door to the boss of Dodongo's Cavern involved a simple riddle about dropping bombs into the eyes of a giant Dodongo Skull to open it's mouth. It was a fun concept that was really only used once in that game, and it sticks out in my memory to this day. Most of the puzzles in BotW, by contrast, are less interesting outside of the moment you're doing them because they mix the same assets together so much that it all bleeds into one amorphas blob.

Shrines only further make this a problem, because the Shrines have you do these sorts of puzzles outside of dungeons, making them less creative overall over the course of the game. There's only so many times you can have me use Magnesis or Statis Launches to solve similar set ups before I get bored. I do like the idea of Shrines, but there are too damn many of them!

Also of note is the lack of meaningful rewards for doing the Shrines or the Dungeons. Sure, the Shrines give you a resource that lets you increase your Health and Stamina, but that's really it. The chests are largely worthless because they hold weapons that break (at least in BotW), or other things you can just farm from enemies, or just buy. I don't feel rewarded for using my brain, I feel like I'm going down a checklist for some more health. Heart Pieces often had some kind of puzzle or series of things you needed to do to get them, but they felt so much more rewarding because the feeling of getting 4 of them (or however many you need in other games) gave you a satisfying little jingle that hit you with some dopamine like "Look at you! You got a little stronger by using your skull spaghetti!"

My Proposed Solution:

Simply put, my solution is to cut the Shrine number down by half, and make only half of them doable out of the gate. Then I'd use those resources to make unique, tightly design dungeons that give you a unique tool that you can use to solve puzzles with that won't break, and allow those items to be woven into puzzle solutions.

This way, you get some puzzle elements that are open-ended that you can logic out however you want, and then you get some puzzles that have more specific, guided solutions that test your knowledge of the tools you have. You can walk into a Shrine, see a thing that you can't do, and go "okay, there's a tool I need to be able to do this, but I don't have it yet," and know that you'll be able to come back to it later for a puzzle that tests your knowledge as you acquire more tools.

Dungeons could then have more time dedicated to giving them a unique theme and vibe. Unique assets, and a proper sense of wonder that makes them feel worthwhile. Dungeons, I feel, should be guided experiences that progressively introduce new ideas to test the player, rather than just be open ended boxes that have like 5 puzzles that are solved in similar ways to previous puzzles you've likely solved to open a door. They should have a sense of place and spectacle.

Personally, if we were to use the world of BotW/TotK as the basis, I'd have each dungeon reflect the ancient versions of the races civilizations and cultures. Basically, double down on the whole Ancient Sheikah idea, and apply it to the other races of Hyrule. I'd love to see something like an ancient mine of the Gorons teaming with gems and Dodongos, or the dilapidated sunken remains of an ancient Zora city, just to name a few basic things. Pull from the series past and history to create places oozing with cultural atmosphere that stimulates a sense of wonder, but also filled with dangers that excite those seeking the thrill of adventure.

2. The Story

While I am aware that TotK vastly improved the story being told compared to BotW, I think it can't be denied that the open-ended approach to the story is hurting the pacing of things immensely, and leads to a lot of awkward scenarios. The fact that you can view the memories out of order in both BotW and TotK is insane to me, but that's not the only issue.

While open-ended open worlds are good for gameplay stuff, it has taken a toll on having the story of Zelda feel like it has much substance. Sure, you can sit there and say TotK story is good if you sit down and focus on it, but that's the problem: because you can do things in any order, the story loses a lot of traction. I've seen the cutscenes for completing the dungeons in TotK, and the fact that you basically see slightly different versions of the same thing, but with a different narrator, is what I'm talking about.

I personally think that the story is too loosely strung together in these titles because they feel they have to be for the sake of immersion or something, but that is silly to me. You can have an open-ended game that has structure to a plot that is less open, because other devs have been doing it for years. Older Zeldas have done it, to a degree.

Older Zelda titles often did expect you to follow a path the designers laid out for you, but that's because stories often need that kind of structure to be told in any sort of cohesive way. It's like playing a tight game of D&D, where the DM is allowing the players some flexibility, but is still going to guide the players down a path toward some sort of conclusion. The path to that ending may be slightly different, but there are still plot beats that get to that conclusion that occur in a certain order. It's a lot of work, but often leads to satisfying campaigns. And I'm speaking as someone who doesn't care much for D&D.

I think Zelda needs to have a loose, but still very much guided structure. Part of the reason I get so bored playing BotW when I do play it is that the game gives me so much freedom to do whatever, and no real sense of direction outside of a few map markers for the areas you need to go for the main quest. Yeah, that can feel liberating, but it makes it feel more like I'm wandering around in the dark, and less like I'm on a grand adventure, y'know?

I don't want things to go full blown Skyward Sword, where you're effectively on rails, have have to do basically everything in the order the designers wanted you to, cause that feels bad in Zelda too. I think the story should set itself up in such a way where the player is limited to a small pool of possible events that can be seen in any order, but all need to be completed to access the next pool of things, which could be larger. Much like how both Link to the Past divides the game between the 3 Light World dungeons and 6 Dark World dungeons with a trip to Hyrule Castle, or how Ocarina of Time requires you to get the Three Sacred Stones before you can do the Temples for the Medallions.

Events in the stories, as they are, feel like they expect that any dungeon should be your first, and there are only a small handful of dungeons. This, in theory, would be fine, but because each dungeon has to act as though you've never seen things before, it leads to very stale narrative presentation long term.

There's also another small issue that's eating away at the story of the games: the reliance on Ganon.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy Ganon/Ganondorf when he's done well, and he was several times in the past. I understand he's the big bad of the series, and he'll always be around, but he's been something of a stain on the series' ability to tell unique stories for a while. This was highlighted in Twilight Princess first, where he sort of just comes in and kicks Zant, a villain who was super imposing and interesting, to the curb for the sake of a lame twist. This was lame, sure, but I really don't like their reliance on Ganon in these recent games.

I could put up with it in BotW, because the game is ultimately about dealing with the Calamity, which is Ganon's essence of corruption given shape. It was dumb and basic, but BotW was sort of basic on purpose in a lot of ways with it's story, so I didn't mind. But with TotK? I feel like they just brought him back because it was easy, and because there are a lot of thirsty Ganondorf fans out there. I just see his inclusion after dealing with Calamity Ganon as a blight on what could have been a much cooler narrative.

My Proposed Solution:

As I mentioned above, I think the goal should be to apply a degree of limitation to the player in how much they can accomplish as they progress. This means there are only so many scenarios the game has to account for. If we, say, limit the player to the classic 3 "starter" dungeons before letting them go into the next batch, then it makes things easier to write around. Have each dungeon be tied to a thing going on in the area that is connected to the main plot, but serve as a piece of a larger puzzle.

Then, I'd establish a simple check: if the Player is visiting, say, the Goron Mines first, then they'll get a slightly different cutscene than if they did the Goron Mines after the Lost Zora City, to account for the idea that the player has already seen some of the set up already. Basically, have the stuff the player experiences be told in a set order in slightly different ways, depending on when the player experiences it sequentially, and adjust in accordance to the order to avoid unnecessary repetition of ideas being conveyed. That way, when Link gets insight into the broader narrative, it feels like a puzzle being solved, but the stuff surrounding that insight is focused on the area.

As for Ganon, it's a pretty simple thing: just don't use him for a little while. Again, I get he's the big bad of the franchise, but we've seen other villains in the series work. Even having a devout follower of Ganon take over and try to resurrect him for a game would be fine, if a bit cliche at this point. Let's see Vaati come back maybe? Or another interesting original villain like Majora/Skull Kid? I still want to learn more about lands besides Hyrule, and a unique villain from Ganon gives us plenty of opportunity to explore those lands.

Speaking of...

3. Hyrule

I don't think it's at all controversial to suggest that Hyrule's map in TotK makes it less satisfying to explore for a lot of people. Sure, there are new areas to check out in a post-Calamity Ganon world, and the added the Depths and the Sky Islands... but I mean, it still kind of sucks that 90% of the map is just a copy/paste job.

Beyond that, I've developed a bit of a pet peeve with the Zelda series and it's use of Hyrule. While I completely understand that it's the primary setting, and that's not really something I'm looking to change or anything, I just miss when we got other places to explore, y'know?

Majora's Mask has Termina, the Oracle games have their own countries, and even Tri Force Heroes has it's own unique setting, and that's just scratching the surface. I love when a Zelda game takes us outside of Hyrule to see other parts of the world, even if it just has a bunch of things that make it feel like a remixed version of Hyrule at it's core. Termina is like this, but I still want to go back there and explore how things have changed since then, y'know?

I don't really have a solution for this issue, I just really think they need to be willing to go outside of Hyrule more often... especially with the next game, just to have things feel fresh again.

4. Weapon Degradation and UI

I don't know about y'all, but I hate the weapons I'm using breaking, but having no real way to repair them. Sure, I know you can often find duplicates or, in the case of TotK, you can just build a new copy of the thing you like, but I still hate it.

A lot of this is compounded by the fact that a lot of chests just contain weapons that will break after a few uses, and it just makes the act of fighting things feel more tedious. I know some would say it adds a degree of tension, but I and many, many others don't like it. It says a lot about the system that when you disable it via cheats, BotW becomes more fun.

The UI doesn't make this any better. Cycling weapons and shields feels clunky as hell, and selecting which arrows you are shooting from the bow is just... why is it so bad!? And how did TotK make that WORSE!? Crafting in TotK is neat, sure, but when you have to individually combine the item you want to each nocked arrow, and the menu is that bad, you have to ask how that got out of beta. I dunno if it's been fixed since then, and I don't really care.

My Proposed Solution:

Here's the thing, all I want is to have 2 things in the case of the weapons breaking.

Thing 1: A permanent set of things you can upgrade over time that never breaks, and only needs to be sharpened or something, but lacks special attributes that make the breakable stuff worth a damn to use.

Thing 2: The ability to use materials to repair/maintain the weapons you like.

The simple thing to fix the UI is actually just to have a weapon wheel that you save the things you like onto in the positions you want them, and to have a tab button to cycle to less used stuff. Basically, just do what Ratchet and Clank did 20 years ago.

As far as arrows are concerned, just let the player craft them in the inventory, and have the Bow weapon wheel have a way to cycle which type of arrows you want to use. Easy. It'd still be a touch clunky, but you'd not have to deal with scrolling through a list, and that's just objectively better.

The wheel would also apply to Tools/Abilities like Runes. Just hold hold the button, and then use one of the sticks to cycle around the wheel. Simple.

Honestly, this post got a little long, but hopefully people see where I'm coming from. I don't really have much of a point beyond what's stated above, but I'll try to end this off with something to think on.

Zelda's current direction has been a bit contentious with some of the older fans, and while I think BotW and TotK are respectable games, and they offer new life to a series that was admittedly losing a fair bit of it's steam, it's frustrating how there are some things that just feel like simple, elegant fixes to the new formula that'd bring it more inline with what classic fans like myself would like more. I don't think what I'm asking for is that much (especially with the UI stuff). I'm not really out here demanding that they bring back something like the transformation masks (though if there was a game like BotW and TotK, but they replaced Runes with Transformations like those of the masks from Majora's Mask, I'd probably give the game a 20/10 out of pure bias for Majora's Mask), I just want the game to feel more like the Zelda I grew up with, rather than this sort of bland open world with a Zelda skin that it's become.

As it stands, modern Zelda is starting to feel less like a grand adventure, and more like I'm wandering through the woods without a map or a compass while it's super foggy out, and finding table scraps rather than neat treasure. I might make a post about what I'd do with a hypothetical Zelda game in the future. I've got a handful of ideas, but this post is too long as it is... so... yeah, that will be done later. Maybe.

[bedabug]

Thoughts on Dragon Age: The Veilguard now that I've finished it. This will have spoilers in it that I'll put under a cut but the spoiler free short of it is this:

Final act is incredible. From the "point of no return" onward the game is phenomenal. Probably one of the best final sections of any game I've played. Downsides were some lore sanded down. Companions don't talk to you enough, can't really get to know them outside of their quest lines. Romances were remarkably lackluster in more than just amount of content. Rook dialogue choices are limited.

Overall I liked the game, final act really was so good I forgave pretty much all my other issues.

Now for the pretty spoiler filled version with details (warning this is massively long):

We're gonna do this by category, and I'm gonna save stuff I liked for the end so that this post on the whole feels slightly compliment sandwich-y. I am gonna talk with a lot of depth about the stuff I don't like because there's a lot of reasons and information to it BUT I want to stress again I liked the game on the whole.

First up is how the game disappoints on player choice at a lot of points, starting with the obvious of crafting your own Rook. You spend however long in the character creator, you read all the faction notes, you are given exactly one small piece of character background (why you joined or were loaned out to Varric) and there is no other character information given to you which is GREAT! Until Rook suddenly starts dropping background information to Solas (or to Taash in one of their early missions if I remember correctly). An elf Rook with a Lords of Fortune background suddenly drops the information that they were a Tevinter Galley Slave for example which is a huge piece of background to just throw on the player with no warning, potentially undoing a lot of their own character building. This wouldn't be a problem if it was stated anywhere in the character creator instead of sprung on you well after the tutorial section is done.

And that kind of thing doesn't even begin to address the negated player choice from other games. Did you give Isabela over to the Qunari? Too bad she's here anyway with no mention of it. Did you have Hawke romance Isabela? Also not mentioned, nor whether or not Hawke is alive. Who is the Divine for anyone outside of Tevinter? Never comes up. What happened with circle mages? Who can say. You can import the fact that the Inquisitor romanced Iron Bull but not if he turned against you in Tresspasser and sided with the antaam. Did the Inquisitor bathe in Mythal's well or did Morrigan? What about Morrigan's child, does he even exist? Some player choices (who rules Ferelden or Orzammar for example) are fine to not include because why would they come up when you're so far north of those areas. But not including others while including the characters they are directly about, like Isabela or Morrigan is frustrating. I would rather not have those characters then have them waltzing in with no regard for the choices made about them previously. Doesn't have to be a big thing but a throw away line about the choice or just an entry in the codex would go a long way.

Rook's dialogue options are also frustrating. I don't mind the option to be the world's most supportive team therapist, but I'd have loved it to be more of a choice. Aggressive or mean options felt few and far between which made being able to disagree with your team difficult. Rook should be able to disagree with them! The player should be able to argue and convince or be convinced! One of the most fun playthroughs I did of DA:I was one where I made the Inquisitor a hardline religious zealot who strongly believed they were the herald of Andraste. I terrorized my team and it was fun seeing that version of the game after seeing the version where they all trusted and cared for the Inquisitor. That kind of variety is really lacking in Veilguard.

While we're on lacking dialogue and choices, Faction and lineage dialogue seems to be a crap shoot. Wardens have quite a bit, Lords of Fortune might as well have none. It's a really wild disparity but also not there in places where you feel it really should be there. Like if you're an elf and Emmrich asks you about your funeral plans you might not be able to respond with the Dalish tradition of planting a tree over the grave, even if you mention that same tradition to Bellara during the funeral sequence in her quest line. The majority of Elf related dialogue I got was being able to apologize to Harding for what the ancient elven gods did to the Titans which feels not great.

Speaking of factions! This is where I'm gonna talk about the sanding down/dulling the edges of the more unsavory elements in the Dragon Age lore, presumably done so that the game can treat the player with kid gloves. The game feels afraid to embrace the parts of Thedas that don't meet real world standards of morality. Which not only is a remarkably boring story choice, it undercuts a lot of the important things you're fighting against/working towards fixing as a player in the world. Take the Antivan Crows for example. We know from Zevran, among other resources from previous games, that the Crows have no issue with purchasing or stealing orphans to raise them as assassins. Zevran talks about the torturous lessons and treatment he received as one such orphan. Part of this is handwave forgivable because much of your interactions with the Crows in Veilguard is through their leadership. Neither the talons nor the grandsons of the first talon are going to openly share the most unsavory elements of their organization. But there was depth to be mined there from the idea that this organization with dubious morals beyond just killers for hire (which is oddly not portrayed as morally grey as I think it should be) when faced with an occupation and a risk of Antiva pull together to be more than they are, but alas that is left widely not discussed. But again the Crow situation is more forgivable than the Tevinter problem.

Tevinter has long been described as a country that relies heavily on slave labor. You see (and can help or not) elves being kidnapped in DA:O from the alienage, you know and can help escaped tevinter slaves in DA2 (or even turn them back in which is wild), and you can argue the morality of slavery with Dorian in DA:I (something Veilguard directly implies helped change his mind on the issue!!). Despite this you don't see a single slave in Minrathous by my recollection. You see blood magic in some quest lines as you would expect, but you never really see slaves or slavery. The only slave I remember seeing in the entire game is the one that is abandoned by the Venatori in Nevarra. The only slave I remember in the entire game is the one found not in Tevinter and explicitly owned by the bad guy cult. It would have been so much more impactful to see every day regular Minrathous citizens with their slaves. The banality of evil, the evidence of it as a systemic problem. The Shadow Dragon faction is EXPLICITLY working towards changing Tevinter for the better and lists ending slavery as one of their goals but you don't ever see one there. They try to get around it by having the part of Minrathous you spend time in be a poorer area but the player should still see slavery and the ramifications of it. It feels remarkably like the player is being treated with kid gloves and protected from things unpleasant, but that massively undercuts the Shadow Dragons' own goals because they become something you basically never really encounter outside of the Venatori. It takes the Shadow Dragons from being an underground resistance group with revolutionary ideals to a group just fighting against one (admittedly powerful) evil cult, instead of a systemic problem in the country's very foundation. Yes there are codex entries mentioning Dorian trying to disband slavery via law changes and yes if you save Minrathous the discussion of who to put in charge mentions ending slavery as a key priority, but these all feel so empty without anything to ground them. This was the time to show both the power and the dark side of the Tevinter Empire and instead we don't see any of it.

My assumption is that because you can be part of these factions and go to these places and have to care about saving these people (they want the player to agonize over the decision to save Minrathous or Treviso) and maybe you'd care less about one if one was visibly full of slavers (even tho it'd be also full of slaves that ostensibly a player would want to save). But I think the game had also shown the dark elements of the Crows alongside that it makes the choice just as hard. And I think treating the player like they can't handle being part of a group in a fictional world that has some problems or darker elements to it is frustrating. Especially when getting to play a morally grey character is frequently a large appeal of video games. And if you're a Shadow Dragon then it should be more than just lip service to be part of group vying to free the country they call home from systemic oppression.

The way the Qun is talked about in Veilguard also falls under this umbrella. A seer in the Lords of Fortune base says that the Qun doesn't actually hate mages or torture them or sew their mouths shut that was just the Antaam. This is in direct conflict with literal other moments in the game when talking about how Taash's mom feels about mages and magic (she had begrudginly come to accept it thanks to help from a Rivaini seer but the undertone is folks from the Qun do not like mages nor are they used to them). Additionally Taash says the Qun isn't a prison and folks can leave any time, which is ALSO in direct conflict with Taash's own lived experiences as their mom had to flee the Qun to protect them. It's in conflict with the assassins sent after Bull when he left the Qun. It just feels like a needlessly "actually they're not bad its just the enemy faction that is bad" which I feel like takes away a lot of interesting depth to the Qun for the sake of making it more palatable but I also feel like a story could have sold me on why people actually like living under it and even prefer it without being like "oh actually all of the bad things were just the military" even though the military was part of the Qun until the DLC for DAI. Handwaving it away while also directly going against other things listed in the game is frustrating. If this is a legitimate change the writers wanted to make it's implemented poorly especially given the disconnect between what Taash tells us about the Qun vs what they tell us about their mom leaving it.

In keeping with the "kid gloves on" problem, your lineage is never an issue in the game. You can't to my knowledge even ask anyone if it could be a problem the way you can ask if being anything but human is going to be a problem as leader of the Inquisition. An Elf or Qunari Rook can walk around Minrathous with not even a second glance. This is in specific conflict with a conversation we can overhear between Lorelei and Bren in the Shadow Dragons shop where she asks him if he had any trouble at the market and he says wearing a hood helps, with the implication being that he has to hide his Qunari horns. I know it's weird to subject the player to racism but also the prejudices based on lineage is a key part of certain areas in Thedas and to discount them entirely feels weird. It should be a little bit risky to be an Elf of Qunari walking through Minrathous even if that's just the various NPCs on the street are less nice to you. There's a weird feeling of this world's problems are all specific Evil People doing Specific Evil Things instead of the fallibility of people and institutions and system problems which makes it amount to a much more bland version of Thedas then as we've previously seen it.

Tying in to things being more bland, it's time to cover the companions' relationship to Rook both romantic and platonic. I'll start with platonic because I actually feel like it's the bigger offender though I've seen a lot of complaints about the romances that I agree with. I feel like I can't get to know the companions properly and they can't get to know me. Sure Rook goes along and helps them on whatever therapy and quest line they need, but outside of that? I cannot start a conversation with them and ask them what they think about different topics while answering questions back. I covered previously that the dialogue options are limited but this is more that the amount of conversations outside of ones directly relating to quest lines is nearly non existent. I knew so much about my companions and their outlooks and motivators from information outside of their quest lines in previous games because you got to really talk to them through branching dialogue trees and occasionally you got to respond in kind. You don't get that kind of friendship depth with the companions in Veilguard because you don't get to have many conversations with them and the ones you do are usually just Rook asking "are you ok" or offering to help. Not getting to know them.

Sure there's a lot of little lore and backstory you can pick up from party banter or codex entries but those things don't feel like they deepen the bond with Rook. Bellara refers to Neve as the sister she never had at one point while I love that and think it's truly charming, it made me realize that Rook didn't feel particularly close to any companion, not even the one they romanced.

Which brings me to romances. This game took the worst element of Mass Effect romances and brought them to Dragon Age. For years I've complained that I wished Mass Effect romances were more like Dragon Ages and we almost kinda got there in Andromeda, but the finger on the monkey paw did curl and instead of Mass Effect romances getting better, Dragon Age ones got worse.

I have romanced Davrin, Bellara, and Emmrich at this point (and watched videos of the others to compare). Emmrich's is easily the best in terms of content given but even still they are all remarkably chaste. A bunch of almost kisses interrupted and you can barely properly lock in before basically the point of no return? You don't even get more than a kiss in the romance until AFTER the point of no return?? In DAI once locked in you could go up to your romantic partner for almost any of the romances and have a cute little moment together. In Veilguard you're lucky if it ever comes up outside of your specific romance scenes. I had one companion mention my romance with Davrin and with Bellara, and Harding's commentary about age was all I got for Emmrichs. Neve's romance with Lucanis (which I love!!) feels like it has more depth and love than either the Neve or Lucanis romance for Rook. Additionally the overall amount of time the romance content has is significantly less. Video compilation of all Bellara or all Emmrich romance scenes are both around 18min, in DAI for Dorian or for Bull it's over 30min each, same for Cassandra. Several of the romances in previous Dragon Age games have been some of my favorite video game romances in any series and all the ones in Veilguard feel so remarkably lacking. Outside of the specific romance scenes you might as well not be together at all which is such a bummer. Mass Effect 2 also does the limited chaste romance until the point of no return thing but at least it felt like the connection was there outside of those scenes because you also had the platonic bond underneath the romance that Veilguard does not really manage to accomplish.

Also side note: What the fuck was the nudity toggle even for because like I was expecting at least DA:I levels of nudity minimum if you have a toggle like that (with optimistically ME: Andromeda levels or more) and there was none of that. Why does that toggle even exist? To lie to me?

BioWare said this was the most "companion heavy" game and sure if your metric is exclusively what percentage of quests are companion quests then that is true. But if you're counting by any other metric I think it's actually one of the most companion-light games of the series. Which is a huge bummer as the companions and the player character's relationship to them has always been a massive appeal for me and many other DA fans. The characters in Veilguard are great and I do love them but I don't feel like Rook gets to bond with them in any way that matters and I think that's almost exclusively down to the missing big dialogue tree conversations.

Additionally on the companion note I don't love that seemingly no matter how you choose to end their personal quest lines the companions are absolutely 100% okay with Rook's decision. Some of them that makes sense for and some it felt weird. Taash's especially felt off because it definitely seemed like a balance between Qunari and Rivaini culture should have been struck there but instead it was a binary choice and they have no strong opinions either way on what you encourage them to do.

And finally the writing. I don't actually have too many complaints on this on the whole. I think some of the companion quest lines have not the greatest writing at moments. Harding and Taash are the bigger offenders here but Taashs sticks the landing better than Hardings in my opinion. Taash ends up so very minor or barely not minor coded because of their quest line and I just think there must have been a better way to do a coming out/finding yourself quest line without me feeling like I'm taking care of an angry 16 year old. But the ending mission of Taash's quest is pretty decent where as I feel Harding having an evil shade encapsulating all her negative feelings about what happened to the Titans was the most boring way to end what otherwise could have been a really interesting quest line lore wise. I do think some dialogue feels clunky. It reminds me of Jenny Nicholson's comment on how you can spot a Paid Disney Influencer because they always use attractions/parks full Disney names (Star Wars Galaxy's Edge as opposed to Star Wars Land for example) because everything is Proper Names in dialogue. Always calling it "gingerwort truffle" in full in every Davrin scene never shorthanding it to either gingerwort or just truffle and letting us understand from context so that the characters speak as any person would in real life. It ends up feeling awkward and stilted because of it, but thats a minor writing compaint.

Act 1's pacing is also very sluggish, but honestly that's a pretty forgivable problem for me considering the final act is as well done as it is. There are definitely occasionally moments where I wasn't impressed by the writing but they're all almost entirely early game problems so you kinda forget them by the end of the game.

I wish the crossroads market area was utilized better. I was about to finish Act 2 before I realized the vendor there replaced the vendor I lost from the unsaved city choice and many of my friends had not realized it themselves at all. I also feel like it would have been very cool if refugees from the not saved city had been evacuated either there or to the lighthouse in some capacity. Grey Wardens could have come through there after Weisshaupt fell and used it as a base to send people out to effectively fight the blight wherever was needed at the time. The lighthouse being such a cut off and private base was a little underwhelming and empty feeling and I think having faction presence there or in the crossroads market (more than just one occasional NPC) would have been a way to improve that. Also why is there not a Rivaini/Lords Of Fortune furniture set for the Lighthouse? Literally every other faction got one even dwarves which is isn't even a group you have to worry about reputation with!

I don't love the implication of the after credit scene that some secret big bad has been manipulating everyone into doing bad things this whole time because I think that as a plot concept usually undercuts more interesting narratives but I am willing to see where it goes. Mark me down as wary.

Slipping in here out of place because it goes with nothing is a minor complaint about the combat. No longer being able to control your companions sucks. That for me was always a really fun way to try out another class and see if I would want to do a full run as that class. But additionally they did not compensate for enemy targeting properly. Because your companions can't die and can't be controlled the enemy AI basically does not target them at all meaning if you're playing a Rook who is better at range (like say a mage) it becomes very dodge heavy in a way I find more annoying then challenging. It's not harder its more tedious and dull. I always liked that Dragon Age had a distinct combat style from Mass Effect and I do think transferring over to the Mass Effect combat style was not the best choice.

Final for complaints, I do feel like the save Minrathous or save Treviso choice is entirely undercut by the final part of act 3 happening in and basically destroying Minrathous. Hard to justify saving Minrathous earlier when you know it'll go through that, especially with the idea that you can minimize the spread of damage by saving Treviso because then at least it's just one city that is wrecked. But this is mostly a replay related complaint, I don't like when something undercuts a choice on replay but it is hardly a deal breaker or a big problem which is why it is the last thing mentioned in this section.

Finally for the things I liked:

I called the Varric twist from moment one when after the tutorial Harding doesn't address him at all in the infirmary and was only more convinced when Harding had to psyche herself up to go back to the Ritual Site. I was so worried that knowing he was dead was going to make the reveal less impactful or that I would feel like I didn't have time to properly mourn a character that is in my top three favorite Dragon Age characters.

I was very very wrong.

The reveal to Rook that Varric has been dead the whole time is masterfully done. I genuinely sobbed for a moment there. It was such a beautiful wrap up and send off for perhaps the series' most iconic character. It felt like saying goodbye to a best friend and hurt just as much without feeling cheap or manipulative (outside of like actually being manipulated by Solas as a plot point I mean.)

Act 3 in general just goes hard. From the point of no return til the end I was completely engrossed in the game and the story. I held my breath when side characters who weren't even companions looked like they were in trouble and cheered when I saw they lived. Beat for beat Act 3 is great. Doing basically the Mass Effect 2 suicide mission twice in different ways, having a guaranteed loss that is crushing but feels appropriate and not just for shock value. The writing in that section is tight and well done, the pacing is great, and the story beats all feel like they pay off in satisfying ways and the companion interaction in that sequence is the best it is in the entire game. Morrigan's inclusion in talking Solas down is fantastic, being able to talk Solas and convince him to keep the veil willingly also feels really rewarding.

On the topic of Solas, Gareth David-Lloyd puts in an absolutely phenomenal performance. He sells every double cross, every lie, every hint of foreshadowing, and every emotional beat. I can only think of a single line that felt awkwardly stated which is huge given the amount of story carrying dialogue he had.

I really like the games through line of Rook & Co basically becoming the new dreadwolf rebellion. Using his base, fighting the same gods, it's a nice parallel without being overwhelming in your face about it. Balanced and well done.

Hezenkoss was a hysterically fun villain in a delightfully well done mission and having her skull stay after in Emmrich's room as something you and your companions can talk to is excellent. The perfect amount of hammy villainy needed for a bit of levity without feeling so goofy that its off putting. I believe she was voiced by Juliet Landau who does a great job, just fun to listen to.

Manfred is also one of the most entertaining side characters. Goes from haha funny skeleton butler to basically Emmrich's son that is a crucial member of the group that you care for and I love that.

As a small final compliment THE HAIR!! Never did I dream hair in Dragon Age would ever look like anything other than molded clay on top of a characters head (unless you have mods). But the hair in Veilguard looks touchably soft and bouncy and for the most part moves in all the right ways and shines in the light well. As a console player it was nice to finally have good hair.

[alialioxenfreeee]

After 85 hours I've finally finished DA:TV for the first time! And I need somewhere just to throw out my thoughts. Will tag spoilers appropriately of course + will post it under the cut to be safe. SORRY IN ADVANCE, THIS POST IS LONG. I HAVE A *LOT* OF FEELINGS.

So before I yeet all of my emotions into writing I want to immediately say that overall I did enjoy Veilguard, very much, and I don't regret buying/playing it for a second.

The first few quests I remember feeling how happy I was to be back in Thedas and it felt really good. I made an effort before its release to ignore pretty much any discussion, good or bad about veilguard because I didn't want to go in with any swayed expectations. And I think that helped me enjoy the game so much more.

Won't go through everything I liked because this post would be fucking gigantic (and it's already BIG) , but overall the companions were great, loved the quests, the areas were beautiful (Treviso my beloved) and the supporting cast was great too.

Now to the...other bits.

To start I have to mention the development hell this game went through. I remember in the years prior reading how many hands this thing changed, all the Bioware cuts etc and saying "Oh this is never going to release." And the Dragon Age story overall, with all its characters and side plots and backstories, is BIG. And they were NEVER going to fit everything from the past three games into Veilguard. To cover all of the loose ends likely would have needed another half of the game, to at least do it well.

Of course this doesn't mean I wasn't disappointed with the way some things went. How a lot of prior choices weren't carried over and characters were straight up retconned (goodnight Kieran, sweet prince).

But I think the devs needed to make a choice between actually trying to give DA a decent shot at "ending" (I'll get to that) and going back and tying up every loose end from the past 4 games. And there were a LOT of those left in every game prior. I did genuinely think we'd have Fenris maybe mentioned in the Shadow Dragons for example, that he was out there shoving fists through Venatori bodies etc. But they were never going to cater to every single person's wishes in regards to who they brought back. It sucks, but that's how it is.

I also wish, very VERY much that The Warden was at LEAST mentioned somewhere. Even if it's a small cameo. Last we heard they're out (sometimes with their love interest depending on choices) looking for a cure for the Blight. I did like the cameo of the chalice in the Joining, and how it was one of the few things recovered from Weisshaupt. But just some mention, even if it's a letter or a report or something that they're out there would be nice. Maybe they send The Wardens what information they've found and you uncover a very small but slightly better way at defeating the blight. Obvs Hawke had their moment in DA:I and the Inquisitor had their moment here but it would be nice to have a nod of recognition for the one who started this whole thing off.

One last bit before I get to the ending rant but as a lot of people have already pointed out, I do wish that we got just a little more interaction with our Love Interests. Also, not sure if I was just unlucky (I romanced Lucanis, it was...slower than I expected BUT I don't regret it ultimately) but I got FAR more "hang out" mini quests with Taash and Davrin than I did with Lucanis, my LI. I did enjoy those mini quests, but even the ability to share a small moment with them like in Inquisition (a lil' smooch!) would have been nice.

hhh okay the ending.

IT WAS........okay????

We were, admittedly, warned before the game even came out that there would be "sacrifices" and that "not everyone may survive" but...the way that you had to choose between Davrin or Harding to die defending you was harsh. I think they were trying to stress the seriousness and danger of the situation, given that in DA:I for the most part everyone survives fine.

This was (at the time to everyone's knowledge) the LAST DA game, so they had to really up the danger factor. But because of how little time the team had to stop Elgar'nan's plan, there was little to no time to reflect and absorb the losses. The team points this out too, but even after the game ENDS there isn't a chance to run around the Lighthouse one more time and have some aftermath chats. I get that the deaths / kidnappings were used to push Rook forward in a way, to show that they weren't trapped in their Regrets like Solas was, but for me it didn't have the weight that I think it should have.

The Evanuris / Stopping Solas bit I actually didn't mind. I got the "Secret" ending and putting in the time to learn about Solas, to defeating (or convincing) Mythal to help put a good word in etc wasn't a bad way to wrap it up! Maybe because I am one of the few people who isn't a solasmancer lmao, but I was actually okay with how all of that culminated.

I mentioned it prior but GOD I wish we got the chance to at least run around The Lighthouse one last time after it was all done, or just something other than the quick slideshow recap. I quite literally (not kidding here) yelled "THAT WAS IT?" at my screen when I got taken back to the main menu lmao. I have so many questions left yknow? Like, is Neve (The one that got kidnapped / blighted for me) still blighted, or did they figure that out? Her mention in the slideshow doesn't cover it. And although yeah, your team got to have one last moment with you before the final fight, I really wanted to chat with them again after it was over, especially my Love Interest! It would have been cathartic. Rook never really got that moment to finally deal with all this grief and pressure and stress that they'd been carrying and I think it would have "humanized" them a bit if they had such a moment.

And in regards to the "Secret" ending bit...

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh??????? So there's some even MORE secret bad guys who were pulling the strings on all the other antagonists from the past few games?? It's like that meme in the church where there's constantly another shooter aiming at the last one in front of them.

I don't really know how to feel about this. I'm sat here thinking back through all the previous games' antagonists and how apparently it wasn't completely their own will and decision to do what they did, but that they were ALL being secretly guided and influenced? I can SEE (mainly in Veilguard) the tiny little glimmers of foreshadowing. The "Storm" thing the original Qunari ran from, what Anaris was afraid of etc. But they'd already retconned a lot for Veilguard alone and now it feels like a lot of what made the past games great is going to be changed, slightly.

It's far too early to really tell, of course. Bioware have said they're now 100% focused on ME5 (And I am weeping with joy as it's my favourite game series of all time) and ofc they haven't even so much as mentioned a sequel (probably the execs need to see how well Veilguard does and will make a decision based off of that) but...I guess we'll see!

As I mentioned, way, WAY earlier (if you've actually come this far I am so sorry. I just needed somewhere to dump my thoughts. Tysm for actually reading my rambles) that OVERALL I did enjoy DATV. It wasn't a perfect game by any means but I am very thankful for them continuing DA's story, even if it's not completely the way we expected / wanted.

They have mentioned there are zero plans for a DLC but god I think it would help, like a mini Citadel DLC. Catch up with companions and supporting characters, have better scenes with Romantic Interests, give your Rook the moments they deserve to really process and come to terms with everything that's happened. But I guess, there's always fanfics!

Okay that's pretty much it. Sorry again for the giant walls of text, but I needed this lmao. Aaaaand just as I finish this I see that they released an N7 Day Jacket for the game, ffs. Time to replay, I GUESS.

(Not yet though, the FFXIV update is around the corner and I need to deal with THAT, first.)

[traumxrei-archive]

【 book 6 thoughts ! (4) 】

i think this should be the last one until late march, and it should be a fairly short read bc i only had two chapters to read

part: one, two, three, four / whenever they release more

[ warning ! spoilers for 6-42 till 6-44 under the cut ]

[ about : uber eats and STYX ]

ok there was a conversation about this in one of the servers i was in, and the ob gang talking about how they're getting canned food + powdered drinks just makes me wonder if they really don't have any other food or deliverables on the island

leona and jamil complaining about the food, and jamil's subtle jab at the culture of the island of woe vs riddle "heartslabyul dormleader" rosehearts, who's demanding for tEA jskdfksf

and then on the opposite end, azul's asking to read the news. the news. and not just any news, but news about economics. when someone said that azul was a crypto bro, i think they were right...

[ about : crowley's whereabouts ]

it's quite interesting that they didn't bring crowley to the STYX headquarters. like...they brought all the students + grim there, this whole time, i thought crowley was staying in the city or something. but turns out, he's all the way at the land of dawning ? maybe that's a countermeasure, bc if they brought crowley to STYX he could've figured out the students' whereabouts + how to escape with them if he wanted to.

[ about : "having friends over" ]

ok. it saddens me a lot that the reason idia become a loner in the first place is bc he knew he wouldn't be able to have friends. like, ever. bc in the end, everyone who isn't in STYX would forget about him after he graduates + starts working there. bc it's his "fate". so he feels like it's useless to make friends + get close to others bc he knows he can't stay and he knows it'll only hurt him more in the future.

but also. ortho saying all that stuff about this being the first time idia's had friends over....it really DOES make me sad. like this is the first and only time that people that go to the same school as him are gonna be at the place where he's gonna spend the rest of his life.

[ about : "and who would call this bunch of troublemakers friends, anyway?" ]

answer: yuu. yuu would.

[ about : their demands ]

riddle: tea (even though we are not at heartslabyul, it is my duty as the heartslabyul dormleader—)

leona: meat. (they make the cheap steaks at the school cafeteria look like five-star restaurant food.)

azul: access to news (i need to stay on top of my investments.)

jamil: better food (i can't eat food with such unconsidered flavor and texture)

vil: exercise equipment or yoga mat (i'd like to get in my daily workout)

[ about : new test subjects ? ]

okay what ? why are they thawing the phantom subjects all of a sudden, i'm. so confused. idia called it an A-class phantom, so i wonder what class the ob gang's phantoms were.

also. why do i sense impending danger....they're releasing phantoms from tartarus aka phantom jail for testing, but i just feel like something will go wrong.

[ about : tartarus ]

holy fuck tartarus is big. i thought they only had one or two phantoms, but from the image they showed, there's a lot of phantoms that they've been keeping for who knows how long. and ortho said ten thousand phantoms. and idia says that some have been captive for over one thousand years. what about this doesn't scream dangerous ??

[ about : ortho, idia's biggest fan ]

i love it when ortho hypes up idia's achievements. bc like. he deserves that much !! c'mon !! he built an entire security defense system to protect all the people living and in STYX and no one else would know, so if it were me, i'd definitely pull an ortho and brag to people i know about it.

[ about : leona n vil sjdfkjsk]

leona really said "don't worry your pretty little head over it" to vil and i'm sitting here like sir you are about to get a foot slammed right into your head (also dude he's flirting— /hj)

[ about : idia and ortho's game plan]

it's so funny how they're whispering at each other about how to keep these people occupied bc they know that 3 hours with them all in one room is gonna lead to a brawl. i love the shroud bros going back n forth trying to settle on a game to pacify their classmates jsfkdsj

[ about : that cliffhanger is illegal ]

yk i would've been madder if they had stopped it right as rookepeyuu arrived to STYX, but i feel like somehow this is worse. bc there's A. the video game party that i wanna know about and B. the looming threat of the two phantoms being tested rn. but oh well, i guess i'll curb my curiosity and wait till march ^^

and that's the end for now !! argh still that cliffhanger should be illegal, i wanna see them play video games >:(((( but well, good things come to those who wait. although i know that an overblot is coming sometime, so that's the opposite of a good thing. but yes.

[tied-ash]

DRDT AU (?) - Spoilers!!

For a while, I've had this AU thing where family members of the DRDT cast were put into a killing game - or something like it. Kind of like... they were put in a certain area for the first motive, but the first motive never happened bc of Xander, so now they're just... there.

Obviously, the AU is still under development, as majority of these characters don't even have names, and this AU will very unlikely be updated... but it's just something fun to think about.

The list will be under the cut!

So ya- here's the list

Teruko; Her Brother I headcanon that the teacher protagonist from the latest game is her brother. So yeah-

Xander; Mai...? if I remember correctly, a good portion of his loved ones are dead. Like- his family was killed in some big incident. So I generally just use Mai bc he doesn’t have many others-

Charles; Mentor I would use Charles' brother, but he's dead. So instead, I'm using his possible mentor (if he even has one). He's a very unemotional and harsh man, but one who helped Charles gain his status.

Ace; Alec Markey (Fanmade Brother) Ace's loved one usually spirals from person to person, but Alec usually ends up being the one stuck here. If you've got no idea what I'm talking about, look at my "Markey Sibling Doodles" post.

Arei; Reina Nageishi (Fanmade Mom) If you've got no idea who I'm talking about, she's also another fanmade family member I've made. Let's just say that she isn't exactly doing so well after her daughter's death...

Rose; Daisy (Canon older sister) I still need to come up with a design for her, but ya! I imagine her to be pretty chill.

Hu; Younger sister...? Honestly, I don't have anything for Hu. I don't even know if she has a younger sister. I also imagine it might just be someone whom she used to babysit, or maybe even just a little kid who’s a really big fan of her music.

Eden; Mentor It's the same kind of deal with Charles, but instead of chemistry, it's with engineering. I like to imagine that this mentor didn't like Eden at first, but now would protect her with his life.

Levi; Brother He has brothers, and according to the start of chapter 2, their relationship is not good. So imagine that you were kidnapped because of the brother you likely hate.

Arturo; Celebrity Like Charles, I'd do his sister... but she's dead. So instead, I'd imagine a celebrity that he had grown a close bond to that he did plastic surgery on. Idk...

Min; Rival? / Friend So, you know that secret where it's like "I know you're competitive, but wasn't poisoning them too much"? I 100% think that that's Min's. And imagine if Min and this rival started to actually become friends, but Min poisoned them bc they were too close to winning. But like, then imagine if they didn't actually die, and just had to be hospitalized and missed the test. And the worst part, they don't even know that Min was the person who poisoned them.

David; His Sister I mean, this one's kinda obvious, right? He has an older sister (I think she's older). I could also put in his manager, but he doesn't exactly like his manager.

Veronika; Childhood Friend I think I read somewhere that Veronika has a childhood friend? I thnk? I mean- a lot of the cast probably has childhood friends, but-

J; Ryan (Canon Brother) Again, it only makes sense, right? Her mom being there would be interesting, but I'm pretty sure she's probably closer to her brother.

Whit; Childhood Friend Okay I know that Veronika already has a childhood friend, but maybe this childhood friend could be, like, one that Whit trued to romance, but they then rejected him. So while they're still very close friends, for a while, they had a very awkward relationship. But they're good now.

Nico; Pet...? With Nico, I feel like just bringing in one of their cats would be enough. Just bring in Tractor or one of the newer cats.

Anyway, I may try to get to drawing these people and giving them names. Just think of the majority of then as DRDT ocs/headcanon family members.

Also if I ever do get to drawing some of these people, then it’ll be clear that some of them have really big inspo for design or personality from other fandoms

[arsonistbunny]

FNAF movie review under the cut (contains heavy spoilers)

Also, I wrote this right after the movie.

First of all. I loved the images. The probs, the animatronics, the looks were really good. I like the scenery, the composition, the mise en scène (I cannot find a word for it in English apparently you can say mise en scène too so take it. Directing would not be the exact translation of what I'm looking for, I think? I'm talking about visuals, not how the actors played even though they were ok).

Sadly I think that's the only point they nailed.

The scenario was... uh... like if a guy had to guess what FNAF was about? I have nothing against Vanessa being William's daughter but... Mike??? I really thought it was gonna turn out that Mike and Vanessa are half-siblings? (I thought Mike's dad in his memories could be his stepfather but he didn't know.) But then if he's not William's son... why was William like that when he read his name....??? (Because he recognised him as Garrett's brother? Mf really would pay attention to the names and family trees of his victims??? Stop googling shit and walk on set more often William)

Still scared of the thought that they could still make Mike and Vanessa end together please no-

I feel like breaking the family link between Mike and William breaks half of FNAF is about. The whole ordeal was that Mike was responsible for his brother's death and William also had responsibility which is kind of what happened but not exactly. Every fan feels like a part of why William dislikes his son is because he blames him for his brother's death. And here it's just. "Oh yeah I killed your brother lol. Anyway I don't really have anything against you personally. I didn't really think about you before last week."

Speaking of, William in the movie is so hollow. Like we got nothing. He kills kids. And then he has them kill some guys. He has a daughter he has scared into shutting up. He appears in his suit and immediately dies. Because of the cupcake of all animatronics - this is really funny in a sense seeing the cupcake so savage when in the games it barely does anything, it's just annoying in Help Wanted.

He's not even obsessed with bringing things to life or anything. He throws a "I always come back" out of nowhere, he could have gone "You think you can get rid of me?! I'll come back, I always come back." Which would have made more sense rather than having him saying the line without context.

Had a "he wouldn't do that" moment at the end when William stabbed Vanessa. He would not. hurt his daughter. :( not intentionally at least. I mean yeah I get she's not Elizabeth and doesn't have the same attachment but the thing is that William's attachment to Elizabeth is a big part of his identity too.

Now, it might have been because I'm an idiot who didn't eat enough before the movie (+ I had an upset stomach lmao) but the movie felt SO LONG. The good shit happens about 15 minutes before the end and lasts 10 minutes. The movie is 1 hour and 50 minutes long. It just goes back and forth very slowly to Mike finding out what happened and I feel he could have found out way sooner, leaving space for more plot twists or more action, I don't know.

I did like the portrayal of some characters. New characters like Abby, Doug and the teacher were so nice to see! I like that Mike is Mike in character like, yeah he would do that shit, and I think Josh was a perfect match too, but other than that he doesn't feel very much like Mike? Like who is he, he's not William's son, he's not motivated by stopping his dad just making it right for his brother.

Vanessa was pretty cool too. Like how she just keeps changing subjects to avoid answering Mike's questions. She's scared of the one manipulating her but ends up willing to face him with help.

The dead kids were on point! Personally, I love seeing Golden Freddy as a mad manipulative child with a bit of sadism. Would I have liked it better if he was a girl? Yeah but what can you do. Didn't think I would like how we keep seeing the ghost outside of the animatronics but that was actually very well done especially when the Foxy child steps back into Pirate Cove and comes out as Foxy.

About the horror, I saw some people complain that it wasn't scary, and they're right: it's not. I think it's made for a 13+ public, which is so good because I HATE gore in horror movies it's always free and feels cheap. But then again it was more like a teenager's first horror/thriller movie so it's more friendly than people would have expected.

Kept my eyes peeled for Easter eggs, and saw the motorride game thingy on the guy's sweater. Did notice all of the things that were ripped from the movie despite being in the trailers. William's humming of the Toreador... Why did you remove it.....

Oh, that reminds me why was Foxy's singing so wrong? He does not sing like that???

Didn't think that would happen but Matpat's appearance made me laugh especially since I did not recognize his voice at first so it was like a little jumpscare. Pretty sad other YouTubers/streamers' Easter eggs were not more seeable (like I knew whose photo was on the employee of the month thingy but I didn't have time to actually look at them in the movie). I know the taximan is also a YouTuber, never watched him but he's really good at acting and very funny! If they do more movies (which I'm not sure they would) I want them to bring him again.

There's this dissonance this William just like for Vanny. "Oh, you like the evil rabbits? Here is the merch! Lots of merch! Are you happy? Good! because there's no content."

Overall the universe's imagery is respected but the wiring is like the first Fnaf books, less wild maybe (Charliebot..) so if you didn't like the books like me you might not like the movie.

I'd give maybe 3 stars to the movie, mainly because visually it was almost perfect. Despite criticizing a lot, I'm still happy I went, because I wanted to see it and I kinda like a cinema treat from time to time.

[rhythmantics]

So first of all, I did not know you had a tumblr??? Second It Will Not Obey You SLAPS. And third my question: How in god's name did you do so much research for your fic??? What is your secret. How do you go about organizing or even knowing where to start for that matter. I struggle with research cause I never know where to start or stop and often I'm really uncertain if the info I'm gathering is even needed or if it's extraneous. I am both stupid and a perfectionist HELP ME

Hi Anon, thank you so much! I always appreciate viewer support and I hope you're enjoying all the art on this blog that isn't in the fic. In any case, I don't know if this method will work for you, or if it's how other authors do research, but here's my process. It's pretty long, so I'll put it under a cut for you:

First, I start with a story. When I say story, I don't really mean a beginning-middle-end, this happens and then that happens; it's a little more vague than that. For me, a story is more like a feeling, some truth or impulse, and all the writing or plot structure or everything else is built around it. I don't generally bother with things like plot structures (which I think should be descriptive and not prescriptive anyway), and I do make outlines, but you'd be surprised by how barren they are. Here's the original from 2016, with some spoilers blacked out:

And as you can see, I threw about half of it away during the writing process, haha. A surprising amount remains, though!

Something that comes about from approaching the story as a single entity is that oftentimes, things just fall into place. A big fight taking place in the congo where most of the cryptids from the Kur flash-forwards get called up, or the gang getting shot down over the Amazon like in the first two episodes of the show - little coincidences like this happen all the time. I think it's because, while writing, my brain starts making connections that I'm not consciously aware of - I often go by what "feels correct," and I've rewritten whole chapters multiple times before to chase that feeling of "correct."

How that ties into research is twofold: first, I'm a naturally curious person, and I'm constantly reading about stuff like mythology or ancient history or science etc. on my own. I like to have an approximate knowledge of many things - that way, there's more for my brain to make connections to. For example, I already knew about the chinese five-element system (wuxing), and remembered mystic hotspots from the show, and Excalibur, and video games, so when I decided on a plot device to keep Zak and Francis together during the main story, it was fairly easy to land on the idea of a quest to power up a special weapon only Francis can wield by hitting up mystical hotspots, each one themed after one of the wuxing.

The second part of the process is this: I have the general vibe or concept of the story in my head, and now I've settled on something concrete plot-wise - the magic weapon wuxing powerup quest. That makes it really easy to start researching specific details. I know I need a magic weapon, and I know this magic weapon has to be tied to Sumerian mythology, so I start digging around in Sumerian mythology for magic weapons, and find Sharur, the talking mace wielded by the Sumerian god Ninurta. Then I do some more research into the wuxing and see that each element is attached to a color, so those are the colors Sharur changes into. Now, a big part of the original show was its globetrotting nature, so obviously, I need to make each of these hotspots a different part of the globe. (And incidentally, "mythic hotspot" doesn't really roll off the tongue, so I rooted around myths for power spots etc. and found the Quechuan word "huaca," which has a meaning very similar to what I'm trying to make each huaca out to be).

So I scatter the huacas out so they're all roughly equidistant to each other, and none are too similar in geography or concept, and we go back to existing connections: I want to have one in China, because 1) I'm Chinese, 2) there's plot reasons (Sharur uses the wuxing because it was enchanted by a Chinese guy), 3) China has a long history comparable to India, the latter of which already featured extensively in the show. So I root around for the "secret science" parts of Chinese history and stumble across this semi-mythical Xia dynasty with its emperor who may or may not exist. That feels very Secret Saturdays to me, so Yu the Great and his tomb are now the second huaca. Now, we know so little about Yu the Great that there's not too much to draw from for how his tomb looks, but I already know about the tomb of Qin Shi Huang - his tomb's excavation was put on pause because ancient records spoke of him having a scale mercury replica of China complete with flowing mercury rivers, and while these claims were initially considered massive exaggerations if not outright lies, they DID find a TON of mercury in the tomb, making them go "unless..."

Mercury obviously fits right in with this huaca being "metal"-themed, so it's a perfect reference. The idea of a scale replica of China was blown up into the idea of a magically-powered VR simulation of ancient China. Now I need a cryptid for this arc, and hey, howdy, turns out Yu the Great has a serpent-slaying myth, Xiangliu! And what's this? Xiangliu's blood was so virulently poisonous that after it was slain, when the floodwaters came, the land became barren! There is such a strong pro-environement and pro-taking care of animals even when they seem monstrous vibe in TSS that if this story is seen through the lens of TSS, it looks a lot like a cautionary tale for why you don't just murder rampaging animals - they're natural parts of their natural environments, and there are repercussions for messing too much with the food chain.

And hey, doesn't that sound like a lesson Francis should learn? The last huaca, we got as far as Francis going from "I don't want to be here" to "I guess I'm stuck here." This huaca, we need to highlight how different he and Zak are, and how shortsighted - and human - Francis's ideals are, where he repeats Yu the Great's mistake, and humanity's mistakes as a whole.

Again, a lot of these connections aren't necessarily being made consciously. In the moment, they just sort of "feel right," which I know is unhelpful, but I can't really explain it any other way.

For an arc that had more secondary research than already knowing things ahead of time, the arc in the Congo took the longest to write (there was a two-year hiatus between it and the previous arc), in large part because I had so little to go off of. Myths from the Congo area are fairly sparse on the ground (for many reasons), and the ones I did find didn't really feel very TSS or IWNOY. I knew that this was the arc where everything went to shit - that we'd been building to that for a while - but I didn't have in my notes exactly how things went to shit, or even what the huaca was going to be. I knew it would be wood-themed, but this being the Congo Rainforest, pretty much anything I did would count. I knew I wanted to do something with the origin of humanity and/or the lemurians, because Africa was where humans first evolved.

So, actually, I wound up doing research into pretty much everything - all the cryptids from the area, all the myths from the area I could find. Previously, in my research on lemurians when working out what their Deal would be, I found out that a lot of writings on lemurians came from occultists in the 1900s, who also had many (racist and misogynistic) writings about where THEY think the first humans come from, about mystical ancient societies that were hyper advanced, etc. etc., which fit with the way that the lemurians seemed to have a veritable magical paradise in Shangri-La before the nagas massacred them. I could at least use the names from these hippies, because I couldn't find comparable mythology from the actual area, but I stripped out the... less savory parts.

I wanted to use the eloko/biloko when I found them, because their myths give them magic bells that compel people who hear it to do what they want - much like how the lemurian's charisma was set up (this being one of those interesting little coincidences that happen when the story "feels right.") Doubly so when I found out that eloko/biloko sleep in trees, which - wood-themed huaca. But I still wasn't really... piecing anything together.

So I switched tracks and started looking into Gilgamesh, the man, the myth, the legend, at the center of this all. Read the Epic of Gilgamesh (or, re-read, rather), and found the myth regarding Utnapishtim and Gilgamesh's quest for eternal life. An old man gifted by immortality from the gods? Given that I already had in my notes that the lemurians struck a deal with the devil with Kur and became what they are, and the eloko/biloko were a failure as a result of the lemurians going "wait, not like this" halfway through, Utnapishtim sounded like he could fit in as a lemurian from this original hullabaloo. And in the original Gilgamesh myth, the plant Utnapishtim points Gilgamesh to, which would grant him all his youth and vitality back, gets stolen from him by a serpent. Hey, nagas!

Okay, so now I had the origin of the lemurians, Utnapishtim's character being involved, even a hook for the nagas, and thus Argost, but it still wasn't coming together. SO...

... I gave up and started looking at biblical stuff. I'm a sellout hack. BUT, at least you can argue that biblical stuff is always potentially relevant, because the Saturday line has biblical names (Zakariya/Zechariah, Solomon, Elijah, Samuel) and Zak is set up with a minor Jesus reference (sacrifices himself for the good of mankind, is dead for 3 (minutes) and is resurrected). Specifically, I started looking into the "secret science" part of biblical stuff - apocrypha, or non-canonical texts. There's tons of interesting stuff in there, but it turned out to be mostly useless, aside from the chapter titles, but it did help to form this idea of making deals and regretting them - and I'm realizing now as I'm writing this that this was another one of those unconscious connections - ch12 is literally named after the part in Goethe's Faust where Faust makes his deal with Mephistopheles ("Die Wette biet ich" - "the bet I offer").

So now that I'd been freed to do biblical stuff (which, hey, also fits in with the wood theme, because Garden of Eden, get it?), I had access to the imagery of the snake tempting eve with fruit. And suddenly, everything started to come together. Themes of trying to defy what you are by nature, the nagas as betrayers, Kur and its entourage as demons, getting what you wished for but at what cost, a fall into darkness as the major players fail to defy their natures (and the consequences that result) - once I started, I couldn't stop.

So it's a bit hard to answer your question because it's all so intuitive, but I guess if I really had to say, the real answer to where to start and where to end is to just pick a topic you like so much that you wouldn't mind doing tons of research on it, even if most of it winds up being unusable. I LOVE ancient history and mythology, so even if nothing I read is useful, I don't mind reading. And not minding the reading means I have so much already floating around in my head for when I need to write something new. If you forced me to write, say, a crime drama or sci-fi story - two fields I have much less interest and much less knowledge on - I would also be pretty lost! At that point, I'd have two options - either I write something by the numbers just to get it done, or I do enough reading on the topic that I find something about it to love and care about, and then write based on that.

I think more is always better. Anything you don't immediately use becomes a potential connection for something else down the line. I'd say a good 30% of weird little factoids featured in IWNOY are things I knew before I did research for it, and now, for other projects I'm doing, the stuff I learned for IWNOY sometimes becomes relevant.

And I would always try not to worry too much about overstuffing or making your first draft bad. The secret is, most of the actually good writing happens in the editing. Your first draft exists for the purpose of existing. It's fine if it's riddled with holes, if the dialogue sucks, if there's way too much exposition and "essay-style writing" (what I like to call it when you randomly infodump all the research you've done - I've done this sooooo many times), or if it's so bad you have to delete the whole thing and start over (this is a regular part of my writing process!). The point of draft 1 is to throw the damn spaghetti against the damn wall. Edits and revisions are where you tastefully arrange it so that it's good and an art piece, haha.

[fragments-of-despair]

So thanks to justonegamr uploading a really good let's play, I got to watch the entire first chapter/prologue of Master Detective Archives: Rain Code. And I have some....thoughts. Nothing bad, really, just....some concerns.

I'll keep any spoilers under the cut and will tag this as "Master Detective Archives Spoilers", "Rain Code Spoilers" and "MDA:RC Spoilers", in case anyone wants to filter out tags.

With that one last warning, onto my thoughts.

To start: Positives!

Music: Once again, Masafumi Takeda is a Master Composer, and the soundtrack is one of the strongest he's put out so far. I enjoyed listening to the music and felt it did great at establishing the tone and I feel like it'll be the most memorable part of the game for many.

Art and Character Design: As with the music, the character designs by Rui Komatsuzaki is spot on as always and every single character looks fantastic. And the designs translated pretty well into 3D. For anyone who had worries given how UDG's models look in 3D, rest assured, everyone looks great in the Unreal Engine. On top of that, the setting is very vibrant and interesting, despite it all being mostly in one location for a good amount of the opening chapter. The Mystery Labyrinth is very colorful and creative and it was fun seeing Yuma explore. Shimadoriru did excellent work and I'm excited to see more of his art in the setting of Kanai Ward.

Player Character/Protagonist: I WOULD DIE FOR YUMA KOKOHEAD. I adore this little guy and I find him to be quite entertaining. If Wato Hojo from Process of Elimination is what would happen if you fused Hajime and Shuichi, then Yuma Kokohead is what you'd get if you mixed Makoto and Shuichi (or if you want to imagine a Naegiri child, that is also an apt description of Yuma so far). He seems to have an ability to let him feel when someone is using their Forensic Forte, almost like some kind of magical physical empathy.

I want nothing but good things for him. Protect Yuma Kokohead.

The First Mystery: Without going into too much detail, the way the culprit of this first case managed to pull off the murders was rather clever. I have family that has been working railways for decades now, and we've been train fanatics for years, so the car switch trick was definitely clever. Not the first time this trick has been used in mysteries. In fact, I'd say it's a classic in train-centric murder mysteries. But Rain Code's example was really good in that not only was it clever for the murderer, but also was good to help establish more about our big bad and give hints to the difficulty of the enemies to follow. Overall, a solid mystery.

Now for the negatives. Or rather......concerns......Okay, a mix of both really.

Last chance to turn away before MAJOR SPOILERS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Gameplay and User Interface: From what I've seen this game is not going to be friendly for those who have vision issues. There were points where I was finding it difficult to read and that affected my ability to enjoy the investigative portions. And I'm watching on a small flatscreen TV I use as a computer monitor. Playing this on small screens is going to be hard for some, which I don't think was really taken into account during development. Aesthetically it looks fantastic, but unless you got really good vision or some super strong glasses, you'll probably have as hard a time as I did. (this will be especially hard in the Pirate Pop Up minigame that seems to be replacing Hangman's Gambit. We truly cannot avoid that game being hell, can we?).

Also, there were parts where, as I was watching, it looked like there might be issues regarding whether or not the controls will read properly. It looked like justonegamr should have managed to dodge some things but in the end, the game read that they didn't. I imagine a lot of it has to do with the font and the size of the hit box. Just know that if this was an issue for you in UDG, it might be a minor problem in Rain Code as well.

Also, there were points during the game that I thought that the concept of the Mystery Labyrinth was....for lack of better words, it felt very gratuitous at points. I think the story is trying to set up something with them, so I'll hold my full thoughts off until then, but with what we're presented with so far, it's pretty much coming off as "What if we took the trials of Danganronpa and made it a Persona 5 dungeon", and it isn't really working for me.

Oh yeah, Climax Reasoning is back. Forgot to mention that. It's....fine? I guess? I think it leans too far in the aesthetics and had trouble reading most of the questions and hints personally. It's kind of hard to top the Climax Reasoning from Goodbye Despair and V3......

The Rest of the Cast and Overall Story: Oh boy. This one is going to be a doozy.

I just want to say, before we go on, that what I am about to say is my personal thoughts and if you do not agree, no hard feelings. It's just my own personal silly little opinion and you're free to disregard it.

With that being said, I am severely disappointed in how Five of the Master Detectives that were advertised were treated.

I hope no one here were fans of Pucci, Zange, Melami, Zilch, or Aphex based on their designs, Character Profiles, and Forensic Fortes. Because they're all dead.

That's right. FIVE of our detectives are dead right now. What had happened was, Amataratsu Corp. hired a hitman to kill the detectives. And that hitman was Zilch. Or rather, someone disguised as Zilch. Or maybe it was Zilch. See, the explanation we're given is that there was a Master Detective named Zilch, but that he was killed before the others and his identity was stolen, while his body is stored on the train somewhere. The Imposter Zilch then drugged everyone, killed Pucci, Melami, Zenge, and Aphex by burning them to death, and then used Aphex's body to help fake his own death, before hiding in the control room in a blind spot and framing Yuma for the crime. The train car swap was done using a split track and a tunnel as well as leaving a car behind at one station (it was supposed to be five cars long but was four for the trip to pull off the trick), and having another prepared at the end point. The real Zilch is supposed to be on the car that was left behind on at the station.

But according to Shinigami, completing the Mystery Labyrinth and letting her reap the culprit's soul there kills the culprit. And the culprit looked like too much Zilch to make me believe it wasn't. Shouldn't it have looked more like the actual character? Or perhaps be similar to the Grey Man we see in the Climax Reasoning if they wanted to keep it more vague?

Also, throughout the prologue up until their deaths, it really felt like they were building up these detectives to be interesting acquaintances to Yuma, and I was looking forward to seeing how they'd all work together and grow. Aphex actually ended up being my favorite of the five because what little interactions we got were that impactful to me. So you can imagine my surprise to find all these detectives not only dead, but that Zilch (my second favorite) wasn't even the real Zilch. I wasn't shocked like I was when playing Danganronpa or going through Process of Elimination and finding these characters dead. I was left feeling hollow, frustrated, but mostly, I was disappointed. The hype around these characters and their talents was enough to get me hooked, and what little we got made me want more. But now we're not going to get anything. It's like being given a taste sample at Cold Stone only to be told that the ice cream you were offered was just taken off the menu by corporate and they're not allowed to serve it to you anymore. This is going to make a lot of people put down the game I think if they were hoping to investigate with any of those five and experience their Fortes in more interesting and dynamic cases, and I wouldn't blame them. If they bring them back somehow, it'll have to be pretty damn convincing because as things are now, they can't without making it feel like an asspull.

And as for Shinigami.......

I'm so sorry everyone, but I just cannot get behind her right now. She's a lot like if you fused Junko, Genocide Jack, and Ibuki in terms of personality, for lack of better ways to describe her. It was those three I was thinking of whenever she spoke or was on screen. But there's a reason characters like Ibuki, Jack, and Junko work, and a lot of that is moderation and balance. They're used moderately, balanced with the rest of the cast or with the character they're primarily spending time with. But since for most of the chapter she's your primary partner, that moderation isn't there. And there were so, so, SO many times I just wanted to hit her. I'm sure she's going to have a lot of fans, and there were parts about her that I enjoyed (usually when her behavior was more toned down and when she was not using Yuma's pain as humor), I know a lot of her actions are due to the mystery of the contract she made with Yuma and that will be revealed in time, but there were times where I wanted Yuma to just tell her to stop. And her talk about death and despair...... Yeah, as a Danganronpa fan, that's setting off a LOT of alarm bells. (I honestly wouldn't be surprised if this did turn out to secretly be a Danganronpa game given how she's being written so far).

If her overall character becomes more balanced or goes through well written growth, then my opinion will probably change, but as is, she's on the bottom of my list of characters I'm enjoying from this game.

Also, Yakou Furio is..... there. So yeah.

FINAL THOUGHTS (so far):

Between the characters we lost and the ones we still have and the rules of the Mystery Labyrinth, I'm really concerned about how the overall story is going to go. The game has a lot to do to earn back my trust after what happened to the first five detectives we met, and the writing is definitely going to need to pick up in ways that'll hook on the players who might consider putting this down after Chapter 0. The UI could have been better implemented and more accessable, and the future Labyrinths will need to really do something to justify their need to be included in the narrative going forward.

But the character designs, art, music, and Yuma alone make this game worth at least watching playthroughs of. And I do want to see Yuma's continued growth with the remaining detectives.

If you're a die-hard Danganronpa fan who just wants to have every part of Danganronpa Team's works in your collection, this game is worth a place there, I think. The Soundtrack especially is worth the price of the base game imo.

But if you're debating if you'll enjoy this game overall, I'd suggest waiting a couple of weeks for a more solid consensus before investing $60-$100.

As for Kakera's thoughts? Overall, I'm not mad. Just confused and disappointed.