#it's a perfect Kariom musing.....;;;;;

[alexandriteobscuraarchive]

@guardianofyesod

[malusrecord]

((From a character standpoint I knew all this already but seeing it said without mincing words just...ugh my heart. Fuck.))

[constellationcrowned]

@malusrecord

[alexandriteobscuraarchive]

@lingrimmart @guardianofyesod

[constellationcrowned]

Dark Earth Zodiac

Muse: Kariom

Result: The Guardian

The sign of the Guardian is defined by their questions; the Guardian treasures above all other signs the joy of knowledge. Those under the sign of the Guardian are curious, honest, and indecisive. They like to consider every possibility before making a choice, and this can lead to paralysis. The more they learn, though, the more they love, and they cannot bear to limit truths to themselves– something that may work against them, for not all are so free with their secrets. The Guardian may grow jaded as they grow, but at their heart is a deep love for that which they study. At their best, the Guardian is a passionate teacher, an excellent listener, and an eager student. However, they can also be clumsy and distant, especially when confronted with unfamiliar situations and complex emotions. They process the world in private. This particular trait leads to the perception of coldness, though this is rarely the case. The Guardian studies above all else themselves; this can lead to individuals who are exceptionally in tune with themselves, or in turn, intensely self critical. The mind turns in on itself, chasing its own tail, and the Guardian is torn by the knowledge that people are irrational creatures, and themself amongst them. If they cannot trust their own judgement, what is there left?

Secondary Result: The Underearth

The Underearth is a place of slow-shifting roots, the quietest and most constant life of the forest. Those who find themselves aligned with the Underearth are those who find their truest selves not in the eyes of another or the light of the sun, but in private acts of creation. The tend to be dutiful, capable, and thoughtful, whilst also often being slow to change, awkward, and anxious. While many pass the Underearth by without notice, those few who make it past topsoil and into the heart below are held dear. It is rare that someone can delve to the true center of those under this sign. The earth keeps its secrets close to its chest– sometimes, so deep that it cannot find them when it does choose to look. The Underearth are devoted to their work, able to criticize and peek and prod just where it needs, but they have no such luck with probing the self. People under this sign can be enormously generous. Though less showy than some of the other signs, when the Underearth does choose to shine, they are like a clean cut gem, brilliant, sharp, and precious. They tend to favor gifts of their own making, paying close attention to what it is that delights those around them. They prefer to avoid being the center of attention themselves, however, and often do not know how to react to being shown the same care that they show to those they love.

[alexandriteobscuraarchive]

what keeps your soul tethered to the mortal realm?

Muse: Kariom

Result: your dying heart

your heart aches at the thought of leaving them behind. all you've ever wanted was for them to be safe; for them to be happy. your purpose is to be there, to protect them, to keep them safe from this cruel world. they will be okay. your need to be needed is keeping you from being free. you love so deeply, you care so much, but who is there to do the same for you? you cant always be there; it's a fact you can't accept, but in order to leave this realm, you need to make peace with it. you deserve freedom. you deserve to be free.

Muse: Flynn

Result: regret

perhaps you have unfinished business with someone. perhaps you wish things had gone differently. unfortunately, there is no such thing as fair. come to terms with your regrets. acknowledge them, but do not let them tie you down. allow yourself to accept what cannot be changed. that is the only way you will ever be free. learn to accept. learn to move on. learn that nothing is perfect. you deserve to be free despite your wrong doings and regrets.

Muse: Roui

Result: your guilt

darling, how can you feel guilty for something out of your control? the gods have decided that it is your time. why won't you let yourself be free? you are not responsible for other people's emotions; their grief should not be keeping you here. grief and loss is inevitable. it can't be avoided, so why let it tie you down to this cruel world? to be grieved is to be loved. it's a sign that you've made a difference. your loss leaves holes in people's hearts, not because you are a bad person, but because you are a great one. you have impacted every person who has been honoured enough to meet you; this is why they grieve. don't let your guilt keep you from being free. rejoice in the knowledge that you were loved, and always will be. you deserve to be free.

[constellationcrowned]

~🌼 "Oh my, I know that face! You remind me of Kariom, being so absorbed in your work and all," She gives the other a smile and waits for her handiwork to be noticed. (from Miche to the Traveler! I imagine she's so absorbed in whatever she's doing that the immortal fashions a whole crown for her rather than a singular flower lol)

Send 🌼 to put a flower in my muse’s hair!

((Your assumption is absolutely 100% correct and I love it~))

The first petal that falls onto the page is swept away with a brisk motion of the mortal's hand without a second thought, as if even a minor distraction would stop her from reaching the answer she sought. Nevermind the fact that it was---and thus would remain---ENTIRELY OUT OF HER REACH. If she could just.....

Blue hues trace over numerous thin, hand drawn lines that were supposed to resolve themselves into proper constellations, over various bits and chunks of text both in her own hand and even Kariom's on occasion, again and again and again, it had to be somewhere, the answer had to be somewhere---!! Another petal drops into her field of vision then; soft and delicate and purple, the perfect thing to catch her eye and pull her back towards the world even if it was only for a moment or two. Flowers...? The Traveler blinks and tears her eyes away from the journal spread out before her and shifts her gaze upwards only for it to land on Miche standing nearby.

"Ah, I'm---I'm sorry Miche, I wasn't ignoring you I promise! I was just...." Stuck. Stuck banging her head repeatedly against a wall. Stuck, stuck, stuck--- ".... having difficulties with a request made by one of the hill campers and...." Now a full flower falls down in front of her only to LAND GENTLY IN HER LAP, the still intact bloom all but begging to be picked up which she does, carefully cradling it with an ink stained hand. "Why are there so many flowers in here?"

The question is a silly one and it; combined with the immortal's kind smile and the words that the Traveler had only half heard---in truth all she'd heard for sure was the name of a certain star-reader---meant that Miche had done something and soon enough the blonde is reaching upwards with her free hand, fingers quickly coming into contact with a ring of flowers that had been placed upon her head. "Oh...! DID YOU MAKE THIS FOR ME....?"

The Traveler carefully stands up and peers at the cracked mirror that still hung on one of the abandoned manor walls, with the jagged lines of glass unable to diminish the pretty quality of the purple and white crown that had been oh so lovingly fashioned despite their severity.

"It's beautiful, Miche, thank you~" She was confident that she'd said the words in perfect Tsourai too! Now the mortal returns to the other female's side and clasps one of her hands in both of hers, "Let's go outside and gather more flowers! You need a crown too, after all, and who knows maybe we can even get Kariom to wear one, heehee~" She needed a break anyway.

[constellationcrowned]

Which private expression of love do you most represent?

Muse: The Traveler

Result: Peeling a clementine

it’s little sacrifices, giving it all up one inch at a time for them. skipping sleep to stay on the phone, spending the last of your change on their coffee order, driving out of your way to pick them up. it’s sitting on your back porch together, complaining about the heat, the warm sun lighting them up in shades of gold. you unwrap a clementine that you grew in the garden, its skin peeling back like it was made for that. you wordlessly pass them a slice, and they wordlessly take it, and when your fingers touch, they’re a little sticky from the fruit, and as you watch them chew, you lick it off. you share the clementine piece by piece because you love them, and nothing has ever felt so perfect or right.

Muse: Kariom

Result: Watching somebody brush their teeth

it’s intimacy in unusual places. seeing their bare shoulder as they step out of the shower and ask you to pass them a towel. kissing with morning breath. they see you when you ugly cry, and get cut off in traffic, and take out your anger on a text book. you see them with the flu, talking in their sleep, exhausted from a day of work. you go to buy the groceries together: orange juice, eggs, a loaf of bread. none of it is mundane, not when you’re with them. you buy toothbrushes together in complementary colours and they sit together in your bathroom, perfect beside each other. you catch their eye in the mirror and for the first time, everything feels alright.

[alexandriteobscuraarchive]

What's holding you back?

Muse: Kariom

Result: the inability to be satisfied with the present

you're unhappy with the life you're living right now, so you're always looking ahead or behind of you. the past seems so much sweeter after years of nostalgia has eroded your brain. you long for it back, even if it was full of awful experiences, because you feel like anything is better than this. and to you, the future is something you hold onto with great desperation. it's what drives you to get up and get through the day. but you've done this for so long, and now you've settled into a pattern. you wake up and already wish for another day. then, when the day is over, you wish for it back. there's nothing inherently wrong with looking towards the future or reflecting on the past. however, it's now preventing you from even seeing the point in existing today. let yourself live and experience things firsthand. let go of those memories and desires, even if it's just for a small minute or two. with time, you might start to see the beauty in the present. don't you want to live in the moment for a change? wouldn't it be nice to feel like you have enough where you are, right now?

Muse: Roui

Result: the inability to see the good in yourself, therefore relying on others to provide it for you

your heart is so full for the people you love. it's sweet, but you've now forgotten how to care for yourself. you only seem to see great things in the people around you. they're wonderful, and you… you don't like what you're seeing in yourself, right? you need to be reminded that you're enough. that you're talented. that you're worthy. that's partly the reason why you reach out so much. you need to hear it from the lips of someone "better" than you. but afterwards, it makes you feel even more guilty and upset. you feel like your actions are self absorbed. you're aiming for perfection because you see it in others. you're failing to see the flaws in everyone else. i promise, you're no monster. i could say this again and again, but will you believe me when i say you need to find it out for yourself?

Muse: Flynn

Result: the inability to cherish the good things that happen out of fear of them disappearing

you've been hurt, badly, haven't you? it's been a long time since you've felt comfortable in your own mind. everything's become a sign that you're going to be hurt again. so when something good does come along, you're not used to it. it feels foreign. it's weird and scary. you want to believe that it will work out, but you just can't. you've been burned too many times. because of this, you've become cynical. you never wanted it to be this way, but you're trying to protect yourself. i see how it's easier to not accept the good, out of fear of its inevitable end. once the dust settles, you're terrified of being alone again. but by doing this, you're never enjoying those good moments. you're letting them pass you by. you have to start letting the happiness come to you. even if it's in waves, isn't that better than not at all?

[alexandriteobscuraarchive]

Okay, perhaps Roui has had a little too much to drink. What was going through his head was normal, yes, but the alcohol definitely removed the inhibition and fear that would prevent Roui from acting. That could explain the boldness, sure. And he isn't quite sure how exactly he got so close to Kariom's handsome face, but he really does not mind by any means. Whatever shyness the artisan would've felt being so close to the man who, by all accounts, always had made his racing mind stop and marvel. He could never quite get a read on Kariom; he was like a constellation. A puzzle Roui could never hope to decipher, not matter how hard he tried, no matter how many times he failed to, but loved to listen to anyway.

And here he was, staring deep into the half-blood's eyes, totally entranced. He doesn't even know what Kariom said to him. He just finds himself leaning closer to the man, his presence drawing him in somehow as if he were a guiding light. And ever so softly, Roui gives a small kiss to his forehead.

He didn't know what he was to Kariom, but to him, he was special, treasured. And he wanted to show it to him. Show him the gentleness he believes the half-blood never truly got. He was special to Roui, and Roui wanted him to know.

Fluster my muse

Kariom knew that Roui's interest in Tsourai constellations was genuine; they'd been studying for days now in fact with their heads bowed close together and their voices hushed as if they didn't have the manor all to themselves, but today was....different. Roui was different. The Sahash was distracted in a way that Kariom couldn't put his finger on; as if he were muddling his way through something far more complicated than the distant lights scattered across the sky, something he couldn't talk about. Maybe something was wrong? Maybe he wasn't explaining something properly? Maybe...

The clink of a glass bottle being set down rather hard makes Kariom jump; the train of thought slipping away from him like water through an open hand. He stops speaking as his eyes shift away from the hand drawn sketches and various notes he'd taken over the years to look at his companion's face only to find Roui looking back at him. Roui's normally relaxed expression radiated intent, radiated resolve, with neither being dulled by the alcohol he'd imbibed throughout the evening. Something was there---something was in his gaze---and it made Kariom's heart skip inside his chest.

"...Roui? Sorry, am I going to fast for you...? I can---" The half-blood stops abruptly as Roui replies by way of moving forward, with eyes still blazing like twin stars and looking right at Kariom's own dark eyes. Why was he...? "Roui.....?"

A sudden, warm pressure overtakes him then; Kariom feels the Sahash's hands press against the sides of his face, with ever so sharp thumbnails sliding almost delicately into his hair. Kariom practically stops breathing as Roui pulls him forward only to then press his nose and lips against his forehead in what was an unmistakable kiss. Air. He needed air. He needed to open his mouth and breathe. He needed....

He lets out a shaky breath that was almost painful to hold in; the sudden exhalation making the fur on the other's neck move slightly. Suddenly it was much, much warmer in there and Roui was still waiting. He was still holding him close---holding him in place---waiting. Waiting for him to raise his head, waiting for rejection, waiting for something. Anything.

".....Roui....you,....ah...." Another painful breath and before he can stop himself Kariom's own hands rise and appear to mimic the other's actions before taking it a step further. With a slow and exceedingly gentle touch Kariom grazes his fingers against Roui's soft, angular cheeks before his left hand moves upwards even more to LIGHTLY BRUSH AGAINST HIS DOCKED EAR feeling it shudder against his touch. He could lean in, if he chose to. Now would be the perfect time. And if Roui were to press against his hand in that moment Kariom didn't know what he'd do. He's afraid of hurting him. He's afraid of losing him. He's afraid of allowing him in. And yet despite everything if Roui pressed against him now---if Roui grabbed him tighter, if he kept their gazes locked and kissed him again, if Roui allowed him to he'd---

"You've....you've had enough, I think. I'll.....let's get you to bed, alright?" Kariom is grateful for the darkness then; a part of him hoping that it's sufficiently deep enough to hide the blush burning its way across his face despite knowing it could do nothing to cloak the tremor in his voice or the heat present in his hands that was slowly but surely spreading. Let him in. Let him in. Let him in.

Kariom withdraws slightly---but still notably keeps his eyes locked on Roui's, a part of him looking for any sign of anxiety and surprisingly seeing none, before he gently takes hold of Roui's hands and then begins the slow process of getting to his feet. "Come on, up you come. I'll....I'll carry you, okay...?" He pulls him up and close and with warm, trembling hands begins to guide him acting as a singular star present during a warm night; with both light and chorale song becoming brighter and louder with every moment: Let him in. Let him in. Let him in.

[alexandriteobscuraarchive]

Lifetrap Test

Muse: Kariom

Result:

Lifetrap: Unrelenting Standards

Your primary feeling is one of pressure. You feel as if you can never relax and enjoy life. That you must always push to get ahead. For you, life is only doing. It is having to work or achieve all the time. You feel frustrated and irritated with yourself for not meeting your own high standards.

Physical stress is common with you. You may have headaches, digestion or bowel problems, as well as high blood pressure and/or insomnia. At root, you probably feel chronically angry, but with no apparent object to direct that anger towards. Instead of staying with that anger, you channel it outwards to your surroundings. Everything has to be perfect. You need to feel in control. 

Most likely you are successful. But you rarely stop and enjoy your success. The balance between work and pleasure feels lopsided. You turn many forms of activity into work and it enslaves you. You seem to have lost touch with your basic self. You go through the motions, but no longer know what makes you happy.

One of your parents may have used shame or criticism when you failed to meet their high expectations. As an adult, you feel you cannot let go of your need for perfect order, achievement, or status. But your excessively high standards are in fact impinging on your quality of life. You are successful, but not fulfilled. You need to learn that you can lower your standards without feeling like a failure.