#it's a pain you cannot understand until you Too break your ass.

[velvetineblue]

I just want to share an OOC update with you all because it is funny and that is that I have officially Fractured My Ass. i cannot believe this..........................

[lottiies]

what, too big, sweet thing?

cw: mdni, fem!reader, drabble, size difference, breeding kink, mention of birth control, aftercare

note: he could crush me. not that he would because he’s a sweetheart, but omg pleaseee i wanna be lovingly smushed by him ૮꒰ྀི >⸝⸝⸝<꒱ྀི i cannot describe the positions well, hope you guys understand

umm anyways, yes <3 thinking about how bulky he is.

him kneeling back on the heels of his feet and shoving his cock inside you while you straddle his hips, one of his hands splayed against the plush of your ass while his other arm is slung around the small of your back, keeping your back arched so you’re pressed against him all nice and snug.

you reach back to hold onto one of his hairy forearms—the one whose hand is fondling your ass. your nails leave indents on his skin, the slight tinge of sharp pain only making him slow down his pace so he can focus more on deep thrusts and making sure he buries himself to the hilt, until his balls are pressed up against your bottom.

or when he’s prone boning you, rutting into you from behind and making the mattress shake. your hands clawing at the sheets so hard your knuckles turn white. it’s only natural to need to clutch onto something when a hunk of a man is making your vision all blurry and rearranging your insides. right?

“leon…so big…fuck.” your sentences are all chopped up and spoken through high-pitched gasps, all you can do is say whatever words come to mind first.

“i know, i know i’m big. feels good, doesn’t it? you love this dick?”

geez, what a bastard. you nod eagerly.

one of his hands leaves the side of your hip, instead reaching over to slide his hand on top of yours. massive, of course, his fingers spread yours apart to accommodate the size of his. and god, you’re sure your fingers can’t spread anymore than that.

or hello? when he has you in a mating press, murmuring false promises of getting you pregnant against the shell of your ear. “c’mon sweet girl, you’d look so pretty with your stomach all swollen. what do you think?”

yours hands settle on his biceps, squeezing the built up muscles. so beefy. the headboard is slamming against the wall so aggressively you’re scared the wood will chip and break. okay, actually, no you’re not. you’re not even worried about that. you have better things to be concerned about, like whether leon is going to break you in half or not.

leon’s very aware of how big he is compared to you, even with his mind all clouded with thoughts of how good your cunt is and how much he wants to make you gush around his cock, he still manages to keep some rationality and keeps some of his weight off of you.

“mhm, want it. wanna get knocked up by you.” you whine in response, acting as if you weren’t on birth control and way too fucking unprepared for such a thing. not a problem, a girl can fantasize, can’t she?

it’s always so cute to him when you cum, the way your entire body writhes around while he cages you in entirely, the way you babble his name out endlessly, and he has to kiss you to shut you up. “so noisy.”

he always takes care of you afterwards. cleaning you up, massaging your entire body because yeah, being manhandled into different positions as if you’re a soft pretzel is taxing!

“here?” he asks, his hands on your hips, kneading away the discomfort that had built there. you’re just glad you didn’t get a cramp while he was fucking you.

he can’t help but laugh a bit (a lot) when you try to get up and your knees buckle. what an ass. but he’s also nice, so he carries you to whatever destination you desire until you tell him you’re completely okay.

[jinkicake]

~♡ All Night Long ♡~

(( Day #7 )) Barbatos, Lucifer, Mammon, Simeon x Reader

A/N: Doyoung’s beautiful voice motivated me to write.. sigh where my nctzens at? ((im sorry i just liked ay-yo soooo much)) anyway... i hope you all enjoy~ 

SMUTTT // NSFWWWW ((some characters have k!nk warnings lol, some have fem!reader -all listed below-))

WC - 2,049

~~~

Barbatos

Barbatos never understands your attempts at seducing him.

He fully understands the swirl of desire in his gut and the tightening of his boxers but, not why you do it. You know entirely too well that the demon will give you the world if you just ask. 

All day, he kept catching you bending over in the shortest skirt he has ever seen on you, giving him an entirely full view of the pretty panties you have on. The butler would have been worried if not for the fact that it was only the two of you inside the castle right now. 

Had Diavolo or any of the brothers been around, he would have locked you away in his bedroom and hoarded you to himself much like a dragon and its treasure. 

Regardless of his confusion, Barbatos enjoyed your teasing. It made pleasuring you so much sweeter. 

“Do you know who I am?” Barbatos watches with a certain fondness as he runs his fingers along your clothed slit, each brush of his knuckles against your clit makes you jolt against the bed. From where he has you pinned to the mattress, all you can do is fondle the sheets in your hands. “I cannot be seduced as easily as the next demon or mortal man,” Despite his words, his cock aches at the sight of you. He can feel a gush of precum spurting in his boxers as he rubs one singular finger underneath your panties. “yet, you have me bewitched.”

“What have you done to me, (Y/N)?” Pure desire lights a fire in his chest as he lowers to his knees and pulls your hips so that your lower half rests off the mattress. Your squeak is muffled by the thick duvet. 

Barbatos pulls your panties down without second thought and gives himself a mere moment to stare at your bare cunt. All it takes is a slight wiggle of your hips, taunting him, for his restraint to break. 

The demon lunges for your cunt like a man starved, instantly greeting your folds with his tongue. His hands find your sides and then your hips before running over your ass. With each swipe of his tongue, he sucks in the taste before running zigzag patterns across your slit. He has yet to touch your clit and instead focuses his entire being on your entrance. A single dip of his forked tongue has you screaming out for him. It drives you wild, his monstrous tongue. 

“Barbatos,” You pant, and your squirming is met with a quick slap against your ass. He hits the skin before soothing running his gloved palm over the affected area, ensuring that the pain doesn’t last for too long. As his tongue reaches further inside of you, forcing you to clamp down around him, his thumb finds your clit. 

The combination is dangerous, the sounds he is making are dangerous. 

One of these days, you’re sure that you’re going to pass out from his overwhelming ministrations. But, until then, you’re going to keep taking it willingly and lying down. 

Lucifer (fem!reader)

“Come closer, my pet,” Lucifer lowly murmurs into your ear as his large hands tug against your bottom, forcing you to lurch forward into his chest. The subtle rock of your hips makes you pathetically moan out loud as his long cock reaches places inside of you that you didn’t even know existed. “I missed you today.” He’s so sweet with his words, with his lips as he presses gentle kisses into your jaw. His lips part with each kiss and his touch is soft enough that you begin squirming for more. 

“Lucifer,” You murmur and gently grind down in his lap, back and forth your hips are moving at a slow needy pace. After a long day, this is exactly what the two of you desperately need. “please, I need more,” You’re not sure what you’re begging for, but whatever he gives you, you will take selfishly. 

“You’re being greedy,” He warns and nips at your throat to calm you down. His touch does the exact opposite of that. “relax.” At once, his hands lower from your waist to your hips. He strongly holds you in place and makes it so that you are unable to move a single inch. All you can do is pathetically grind your bottom into his thighs and try to find another source of release. Lucifer sighs. “Must you always defy me?”

Before you even get the chance to explain, lips already parting in thought, Lucifer slots his mouth over your own. He meets you in a messy kiss, tongue first and he’s eager with his movements. Lucifer devours you wholeheartedly, chest burning brightly with pride, as his tongue fondles your own. Over and over, he laps at you until you’re pulling away and gasping for air.

Even then, he can’t stay away and glues his lips to your throat. His strong hips begin to thrust upwards, bouncing you in his lap. Had it not been for the secure touch on your waist, you’re sure you would have flown off of him because of the movements. 

Lucifer sinfully rolls his hips, up and up until you’re falling back against the mattress. He doesn’t let you go, doesn’t give you time to react before he begins his work now on top of you. 

“Beautiful girl,” His eyes soften in a way that makes you bashful, shy, and you can only stare at the fondness expressed in his gaze. It’s entirely sweet and kind. Nothing like the way he is fucking you right now. 

The way Lucifer’s grunts fill your ears and the slaps of skin sound throughout the room, you know this is his purest form of lovemaking. It’s seen in your reactions and the way that you grasp onto his shoulders and dig your nails into his skin, dragging your fingers down his back as he repeatedly hits that spot that makes you see stars. Lucifer will always take care of you, provide for you, inside and outside of his bedroom. 

“Take it all, my sweet human, I know that you can.” 

Mammon

“You’re just the sweetest demon, aren’t you?”

Had your hand not been wrapped around his aching cock, exploding from his jeans, Mammon would have been sure to reject this with a snarky remark. But, right now, all the demon can do is gasp for words. 

“S-Shut up, I’m not!” He swears it to be true but, how can you take him seriously as he dips his head back and thrusts his hips into your hand? His throat is bared for you and you lean forward to place the gentlest of kisses on his Adam’s apple. “You’ll regret this,”

“Regret pleasuring you?” You murmur into his skin, now picking the area just under his jaw to suck a bruise into. Through short jerks of your fist, you work the demon into submission. Mammon has all but started to thrash against his couch, eyes screwed shut while pathetic moans leave his lips. 

“Come on, more, give me more-” He’s so greedy that it breaks his words, voice cracking from the pressure. The demon can feel his impending release building in his gut, your touch just feels too damn good. “Fuck me, (Y/N), please, please!” Mammon cums into your mouth the second you lower your face and wrap your lips around his tip, you barely begin to suck before he thrusts and spills himself past your lips. 

You don’t waste a single drop, choosing to dig your tongue into his sensitive slit as he withers against his cushions. Being just as greedy as him, you’re eager to swallow it all. 

“You really thought you could toy with me?” Mammon swallows harshly, eyes darkening as he stares at your full cheeks. Your back is arched into the air as you lean over his lap and the demon doesn’t hesitate to slap the back of your thighs. He hits you just enough that you slightly jolt and feel the pressure against your sensitive legs. “I’m not gonna let you get away that easily,”

Then, he wraps his hand in your hair and pulls you toward him. He moans pathetically at his taste on your lips and thrusts his tongue into your mouth to lap at the cum still resting in your mouth. It’s filthy, and messy and only gets even more so as his fingers dip between your thighs. 

Mammon knows your body, he doesn’t have to see your pretty cunt to find your clit and he certainly doesn’t have to stare to find exactly where you liked to be touched. He knows it all already. 

And as he kisses you, stealing the breath out of your lungs, his fingers push your panties out of the way. Your wet cunt makes him moan loudly and he doesn’t hesitate to drag his finger along your slit, scooping your essence to smear it around your clit. 

“I’m gonna fuck you good after this, got it?” His eyes are blown wide with pleasure and his lips are still slightly parted, ready to kiss you once more again. “I’ll show you who’s a nice demon.”

Simeon (daddy kink, fem!reader)

When Simeon first heard the vulgar, authoritative, pet name fall from your lips, he didn’t know what to do. He simply acknowledged it with a kind smile before continuing his assault on your throat. 

The more it fell from your lips and the more you begged for him, however, the looser his restraint got. 

“Please, daddy,” You whine into the air, chest thrusting up from where you rest between Simeon’s legs. This position is anything but innocent. The angel has one of his hands wrapped around your throat while the other rubs ferocious circles against your clit. His own strong legs are hooked over your own, ensuring that you can’t close your legs even if you tried. 

“I’ve got you, my light,” Simeon murmurs into your ear, his eyes zoning in on your breasts from over your shoulder. His mouth waters at the sight, fingers slowing down completely before he brings them up to his lips. Quickly, he sucks the digits into his mouth and laps at his skin. He moans at the taste of your pretty cunt, sucking intensely on his fingers before bringing them to your breast. With a pathetic moan, you whimper when he brushes over your nipple with his two fingers. Simeon toys with the perked nub, circling it a few times before pulling it beneath his thumb. 

He tries to calm you down with gentle coos at your growing anticipation.

“Daddy’s got you,” His gentle kisses against your shoulder do little to satiate the burning desire in your belly. The angel has an obsession with your body, an unhealthy obsession. He can touch you for days and not grow tired of it, he can indulge in the most sinful acts with little shame all because you request it from your pretty lips. 

Slowly, you’re corrupting him and the angel does not care in the slightest. 

“Let daddy finish, sweetheart,” His soft voice doesn’t match his words but, he does it so well. Simeon continues toying with your breasts, pinching and pulling on your nipples before he migrates his hand south once again. Once more between your thighs, the angel runs his middle finger up your slit. He slowly dips his fingers into your entrance just enough to break a silent scream from your lips before he brings his finger to lazily circle your clit. 

“You’re being so good for me, you’re much more of an angel than I am.” Sweetly, he presses a kiss against your cheek before nuzzling his face into your neck. His puffs of air against your throat make you squirm and the sensitivity of his touch is starting to get the better of you. 

“I wanna cum, daddy, please,” Your gentle begs work wonders on the angel, he can never deny you of anything. 

“Since you asked so nicely, my sweet girl,” All at once, two of his fingers slip into your entrance while his thumb toys with your clit. His thrusts are harsh and steal the air from your lungs, causing you to thrash against him. “Cum on daddy’s fingers, you can do it, baby,"

. . .

2023/02/13 ♡

[tkaulitzlvr]

THE WRONG WAY - T. KAULITZ

synopsis: tom hasn’t been paying you enough attention lately, and, when you finally snap, he can’t understand where you are coming from, until you reach your breaking point. can the issues between you and him be resolved?

content: angst

a/n: pulled this out of my ass lol, i had to rush it because i’m in the middle of another req but it’s nowhere near done after like three hours of writing so i’ll have to finish and post it tomorrow. sorry if there are mistakes, i only proofread veryyy briefly cause i’m so tired rn😭 hope this is okay tho!!

"you don't love me."

i voice the harsh words to the silent room, clearly and with every sense of belief behind my statement. to my discomfort, saying it out loud does not make me feel any more at ease, in fact seeing the way tom’s entire body breaks for a second, processing what i had just said, before trying to cover the hurt on his face up, only suffocates me even more. the lump in my throat only gets bigger, the tension in the air thickening by the second.

"wow." he begins, shaking his head, trying to wrap his head around how i could even come to that conclusion. "that’s an awful accusation." he glances at me, his eyes already glossy, giving me enough of an idea on how much i have hurt him by uttering those four words. however i stick to it, figuring that it is too late to back out now. within me, behind all the anger, all the upset, i feel that it is true. i sense that he no longer feels the same way he did when he met me, all those years ago, the love within his eyes slowly diminishing until it is now long gone.

"and also." he speaks, leaning forward and looking directly into my eyes, staying in his position spread on the end of the other couch. "it's not true. you know it isn't."

the pressure of his gaze leaves me unable to hold eye contact with him, looking away sheepishly into my lap, hoping that somehow the ground could swallow me up. i grit my teeth, locking my jaw in anger, feeling no reassurance from his quick denial of my statement. so i decide to challenge him, standing my ground despite the nausea only growing within me. though his voice seems somewhat certain, i refuse to believe that i am making it up, that it is all in my head. "do i though tom?"

my eyes meet his, except the ones looking into me are foreign. they are angry, a glint of hostility present within them that i had not yet witnessed, this change taking me aback, yet i refuse to look away. he is sad. those eyes, past the resentment in them, i see pain. i see sorrow. i have upset him, far beyond what he intends to let out. he is usually strong, and perhaps right now he thinks that he is keeping this up, yet i can read him like a book, the way his left brow furrows, creating a crease along his forehead, the way his eyes cannot focus on one thing, darting around the room, i can see that he is struggling. and whilst part of me hurts with him, hating to put him through any sort of distress, i need it right now. because i am tired of feeling unloved and unappreciated - regardless of whether tom intends to make me feel this way or not.

he shakes his head, scoffing slightly in disbelief, letting out a shaky sigh, before speaking up, his voice loud, in contrast to the silent room. "what, so i've been lying every single time i’ve told you that i love you, over the past six years that we've been together? mind you, i say that every day, without fail."

i stay silent, my eyes becoming glossy as they quickly tear away from his. he takes my silence as a cue to continue, my sudden belief that he does not love me angering him as he desperately seeks to remind me of every reason why i am in the wrong. "don't i do everything for you? make sure that you're always safe, give you my everything-"

"give me your money, you mean." i reply, cutting him off. i don’t want to seem ungrateful - i appreciate the way tom would spend any amount of money on me if it made me happy. i am thankful for the house he has given me, the vacations he takes me on, the things he buys me, but those things are not the reasons why i fell in love with him. i fell for tom kaulitz. not his money, not his fame, not his profession. i fell for who he is, for him as a person, whether he is rich or poor, yet it feels that day by day i lose a small part of that. i have always understood that his job means that he will be away a lot, but it is hard to be in a relationship with someone that can't always be there, only their fortunes can.

"i’m grateful for what you do for me, really i am, but i'd much rather have time with you than the latest gucci bag, or the newest chanel perfume. if it meant that i would have to live with nothing for the rest of my life, i would do it. don't you understand? i want you - not your money tom! i don't need you to apologise with gifts when i don’t see you all day, i just...i need you." i am desperate, craving for him to hear me out, to understand that it is him that i need, but the way he looks at me in confusion shows me that i am not going to achieve that.

"i thought you liked the things i buy for you. have you been lying?" he completely ignores the point that i have been trying to make, this only fuelling the frustration within me as i exhale shakily, quickly grasping onto the opportunity to argue my point once again.

"i do but that's not the point tom! i like them because i feel like it's all i get from you!" my voice is raising, something which i did not want to happen. shouting never solves the problem, however right now i am far too angry to care. "i just want some of your time, to feel like you actually care! when you're with me, you're here physically, but your mind is always elsewhere. i just miss you. i need to you be mine again, i-"

"look, i’m sorry okay?" he begins, harshly cutting me off and matching the volume in my voice. "i'm sorry that my job is more demanding than others, i’m sorry that it needs a lot of my attention, but i told you this from the beginning. my career is a big part of who i am and things aren't always easy. they get hard, they get tough, but-"

"that's my problem! when things get hard for you, i don't fucking know about it! because you shut me out, every. single. time. i'm your girlfriend, tom. i want to know about your life, i want to help you, but you always run away from me! you spoil me with gifts and money to compensate for every fucking time you leave me in the dark! i don't want it anymore. i just want you to communicate!" i move from the couch, walking to the middle of the room and standing a few feet away from him. his eyes are glued to me, watching my every step, and he is listening to me this time. "am i such a headache to be around, that you can't talk to me? that you can't deal with spending time with me, so instead you spend your money to try and shut me up, because you have so much that no matter what you buy, it doesn't affect you?"

"don't." he voices shakily as i stare into his eyes, his expression more wounded than ever. my words stab into him, hitting him harder than i had anticipated. his fists clench against his thighs, holding every ounce of frustration. though we have argued in the past, i have never seen him this upset, regardless of whether he intends to show it visibly or not. "you know that i don't think of you that way, even for a second. so stop."

"you can't blame me for thinking it tom." i shrug. "you leave me out of everything, i have no idea what's going on in your life anymore-"

“because i'm trying to fucking protect you!" he interrupts, raising his voice once again. his hand slams against the arm of the couch, the sudden contact causing me to wince slightly. "i'm sorry if you feel like i'm hiding things from you. but i know parts of my life would just stress you out and hurt you. don't you get that? i'm trying to save you from the pain-"

"i want the fucking pain!" i fire back. "we are supposed to be in a relationship. do you know what that means? i want to suffer with you. i would choose that, a million times over, if it meant that i could be with you for another day. i want every part of you, the sad, the happy, the angry, i want it all. can't you see that i need you? i hate being left in the dark. i absolutely fucking hate it.”

my voice pierces through his ears, diminishing the tense silence as tom gulps, clenching his jaw and leaning forwards, pinching his nose with his thumb and pointer finger. the rash and quick responses don’t allow me time to calm down, my eyes becoming glossy with tears, the salty liquid staining my cheeks before i can try to hold them back, my weakness just as evident as tom’s. the pain, the upset, the lack of affection that have been feeling all spills out, reeling outwards from within me as i let it out, no longer attempting to hold back.

he looks up, his face softening as he takes in my hurt expression. he has never seen me like this, so broken, and the fact that he is the cause of this pains him even more, his mind coming to the slow realisation that it is up to him to fix this. although he doesn’t fully understand how i could possibly believe that he does not love me, he wants to try, to try and see from my eyes. he lets out a shaky sigh, swallowing nervously before looking into my eyes.

"i would rather feel the sadness, suffer with you." i begin, my voice small as the tears quickly take away my physical strength. "i would do absolutely anything if it means that you will love me, that you will do it with me, tom."

"i don't live a normal life, and i just want to keep you away from the crazy things." he speaks slowly, trying to reason with me, refusing to turn his gaze away from mine. "some people want to hurt me, and i would never forgive myself if someone ever did anything to harm you."

i try to wipe my tears and calm my breathing, wrapping my arms around my small frame in an attempt to comfort myself, quickly becoming overwhelmed with the situation. but my mind acknowledges tom’s change in tone. not only is he more gentle and calm, he also seems sorry, like he now recognises where he went wrong.

"what do you want me to do?" he whispers, defeated as his tired eyes meet mine. he is no longer angry. he is desperate, longing to resolve this. "i'll do anything. i- i can't lose you. you're my world, schatz, and i'm sorry if i haven't shown it, but you are everything to me."

though there are millions of things i could say, i stay silent, standing still across the room. my heart clenches painfully, hurting at the sight of him so distraught, as his mind considers the dreaded idea of what losing me would be like. his world is crumbling before him, the one thing he seeks to protect seeming to slip through his fingers. i have never seen him like this, so vulnerable, so desperate, and whilst it comforts me to know that he is slowly letting down the walls that have prevented me from truly being with him, it saddens me to see him in such a distraught state.

"all i've ever wanted is to keep you safe. to keep you happy, liebe, because if you're happy then so am i. but you deserve more than this." he points to himself angrily, letting out a shaky sigh. "more than this fucking idiot, who doesn't even know how to love. i’m so sorry if i've done it the wrong way and made you feel like i don't care. because you shouldn't for a second think that i don't love you."

everything that i have been craving to see is happening in front of me. i have longed to see him open up, to break down the barriers that separate us both physically and mentally. i don’t want him to be strong all the time, and it hurts that he feels he has to be. the tears fall from my bloodshot eyes once again - this time out of sadness for him. i hurt with him, hating to see him so upset, but i understand his pain, his anger, and i feel every emotion along with him. for the first time in forever, i feel connected with him.

after a few moments of silence, he stands up, slowly walking towards me. i refuse to meet his gaze, fearing that i will break down once again i realise how hurt he truly is, and looking into his eyes will certainly display every emotion amongst his beautiful features. his hand brushes tenderly against my cheek, wiping a fresh tear that had fallen. he reaches towards my chin, using his pointer finger to angle my face upwards so it meets with his eyes. he towers over me, taking in the sorrow etched upon my face, before tucking the loose strands of hair behind my ears, gently caressing my cheek with his lips slightly parted, shaky breaths escaping from them.

"please, look at me." he whispers, gazing longingly into my eyes. i comply, shifting my own eyes to the deep brown ones in front of me. they are full of adoration, and i feel the man that i fell in love with slowly coming back to me. "i love you, so so much, please believe me schatz. you are the most important person in my life, and i am so sorry that i've made you feel the opposite way." he chokes up, his voice shaky as i can tell he is on the verge of tears.

i listen to him, allowing every word to sink in, as it is now no longer hard to trust what he says. i feel what i have been desperate to - love. i feel truly appreciated, like i am able to confide in him like i once could. though frustrated it took the both of us to get to this state to make him speak his mind, i appreciate him opening up, his apology making up for the lost time. there is no shame in being fragile, and through his entire conversation, we have both learned this, a new found appreciation for each other gained as i feel safe again.

"don't feel like you have to keep things to yourself. i’m your girlfriend, i'm supposed to be here for you, and i'll gladly do it, but you have to talk to me." i respond, lacing my hand with his. a soft smile spreads across his face, contrasting with his bloodshot eyes whilst he slowly nods.

"i hear you. i’m so sorry baby. i love you." he whispers, pulling me into a tight hug as his hands lace together around my waist. he lets out a sob onto my shoulder, my heart breaking at the sound. he clutches onto me tighter as if i may slip away, my own eyes tearing up once again. it has been a while since i felt like this. i feel loved, and it is all that i have ever wanted from the start.

he slowly pulls away, resting his forehead against mine and looking into my eyes through his eyelashes. after a few seconds, he leans inwards, until his lips touch mine. the kiss is gentle, carrying every promise to love and cherish me like he has failed to do, and i gladly accept it, kissing back quickly and wrapping my arms around his neck. he pulls away, planting a few pecks on my lips once again, his breath shaky as the remnants of tears stick to his cheeks. i slowly wipe them away, not breaking eye contact as i do so, gently caressing the soft skin until any trace of sadness is lost within our newfound love for each other.

a soft smile graces his lips, failing to wither as he kisses me once again, the same amount of passion as the last, making up for the lost affection as i feel more treasured than ever. this is all I have ever wanted, to feel like he cares, and now that i am feeling his affection, my mind is oozing with contentment, the feeling almost foreign it has been so long.

requests are open! keep sending them in!!

[lizzydizzyyo]

I think what's really compelling about House's absolute unwillingness to bow down to anything or anyone (the ethical board, the law, extra rich CEO, vindictive police officer, and even the patients themselves) regardless of how absolutely batshit and downright illegal his actions are, is because it's coming from a chronically disabled person, in more ways than one.

He cannot walk without agony or his cane. His chronic and severe pain led him down the path of deep Vicodin addiction until he also becomes psychologically dependent on it too (once, Dr Cuddy gives him saline placebo and it "works", in that he is not feeling his leg pain anymore for a few hours).

He understands it deeply just how desperate people can be when they're in pain and nobody can (or are willing to) help them—at least, so far, until they land on his doorstep. Which is canonically the most extreme step patients take when everything else fails—you don't just go straight to Plainsborough Teaching Hospital and to Dr Gregory House MD's office; you have to go through dozens of other doctors in various specialties and failed treatments too.

(Although that's a separate discussion about how doctors, particularly resident ones, are overworked and underpaid and redtaped by shithead insurance companies even if they do know how to treat a patient and want to).

He knows, from the bottom of his heart, that having such a painful and life-limitting debilitating condition is comparable to hell on earth, because he has one. He knows, that despite his disability being visible to everyone, yet no one wants to put an effort to help him deal with it—is also hell on earth.

Cuddy simply throws money at him and turns the other way to his Vicodin abuse, like she is saying, "I don't care if he takes 10 Vicodin pills a day or more, and I have to pay at least $1M every year for lawsuits, as long as he gets the job done," (and when they decide to go into relationship, she immediately drops him when he relapses, even if the reason for his relapse is her—although, yes, there is another discussion to be had about keeping yourself and your child(ren) safe being a priority compared to helping an addict, recovering or not). Wilson, as loyal as he is to House, simply either enables him or lectures him without going into the root of the issue and thoroughly help House that way. His subordinates, especially after the original trio, are simply too scared, too ignorant, or too ambitious to even approach the issue and choose to keep their job than help House (also another discussion to be had about how you can't help people who don't want to help themselves and so on).

So when he sees a patient who has gone through hell trying to get a correct diagnosis and treatment, he becomes laser-focused on doing everything under the sun to get to the bottom of it and cure the patient. He doesn't care if he has to break into countless of houses (haha pun) and collect insane and probably biohazard samples to do it—he absolutely will, no question.

Yes, hate-criming and being a bigot is his favorite hobby (still livid at the asexual ep and the production's choice for the resolution, let's just say I still have beef with Hugh Laurie and the entire production team for it), and so is insulting patients in so many ways that Shakespeare would personally fly to New Jersey and shake his hands if someone manage to successfully perform necromancy on ol' Billy boy. But House is no one if not dedicated. "Yes, my patient is an idiot, everyone is an idiot too, but I WILL cure their condition like my life depends on it," is basically his middle name.

Besides, you can make the argument that he is more compassionate than all the other doctors around him, because despite his absolute disdain towards some of his patients' beliefs and stupidity, he still works his ass off to treat them. He will call your god an idiot in 7 different languages while putting you in a diagnostic machine he manipulated the whole hospital into letting him use so that you could get a test which weren't available to you before. He will tell you that your currently-happy marriage will end in a bloody divorce and your ex will leave you penniless so love is not real while injecting you with a medication he had to hack the CDC's database for.

There are even episodes that show him being truly earnest, like the clinic duty scene where he is snarky as usual to a girl who seemingly stupidly had unprotected sex until she lashes out, and House is like, "Oh shit, this is above my paygrade", and immediately goes to Cuddy with a very serious expression and no sarcastic dilly-daliying, demanding her to transfer the patient to someone else because he is not good with "curing" rape case (interesting choice on the writers' part to make the patient insist to have therapy with House, though).

There is an episode about a very workaholic woman executive in a fashion company who has tremor and partial paralysis, and later on it's shown that she seems to tie her worth as a person to her corporate success while band-aiding her deep psychological issue like her suicidal ideation, and House genuinely asks her, "Do you want to live? I cannot help you unless you want me to," or something along the line.

There is also the cursed 9-year-old terminal brain cancer episode where Chase kissed the patient (ew), where at first it shows House being a usual misanthophe to Wilson and saying, "She is not brave, it's the brain tumor clot talking because it must be near the amygdala." Later in the episode, House sits near the patient alone, and compassionately asks her if she even wants to live, going through the rest of her short-lived but horrible agony, even if they catch the clot. The surgery to find and get rid of the clot is risky and can debilitate her even more, and this is why House is laying the decision to her hands. That she gets to choose. This is what truly reveals to him that she is genuinely brave (aside from the scan showing the clot to be so far away from her amygdala), but for the wrong reason. She is brave for her mom, willing to go through horrible surgery and drag out her already painful cancer-ridden life because, "My mom needs me". When everyone is congratulating her in the end, you can tell House has a bittersweet expression of both awe towards her bravery, and sadness that this 9-year-old sick girl has to bear the brunt of her horrible pain just so that her mother is not sad. That he couldn't convince her to be a child until the nearing end of her life.

The most interesting evidence of his compassion to me is the gunman hostage episode. It might sound weird because in the whole episode, he is depicted to first want to outsmart the gunman patient, then becomes laser-focused but only because he sees it as a puzzle, then absolutely selfish and dangerous because he volunteers himself as the last hostage and gives the gun back to the guy after the MRI. I do think it's true that his dedication to solving patients-are-just-puzzle-to-me conditions shines through in the episode, especially the scene of him returning his gun, but there is something else I catch when I rewatched it before.

When the gunman patient is put in the MRI because Cameron tells him a theory through the hostage call, the remaining doctors in the room including House are wary at the gunman but also hopeful. Yet, when the result shows up on the screen, he realizes that the theory is wrong and the guy let go his only bargaining chip for nothing. If you watch this part carefully, you'll notice that House actually looks pitying and sad at the gunman's disappointed demeanor and expression. He realizes he is going to be another notch in the guy's failed doctors list, and at this point (with the gun given away and even the best, most talented doctor also not finding out what's wrong with him), the guy has given up hope that he will ever see the day he will be cured, certainly not behind the bars.

Yes, his thirst for puzzle is House's big driving force in giving back the gun, but you'll be lying to yourself if you don't notice House's compassion for the guy because he doesn't want the guy to go out empty-handed, with absolutely no more hope because House knows once they step out of the door, this guy will never, ever be allowed to be in the vicinity of any hospital or doctor ever again in his life, aside from jail's bare-minimum exams and medications. House can't handle the thought of putting someone else through his own disappointment—that nothing works to help his leg pain. He especially doesn't want to be the cause for this gunman guy's case either. Even in the end when House realizes the guy is a fucking moron because he doesn't know that Florida is, in fact, in earthwide-horizontal tropical zone and this is what stumps most of the guy's previous doctors—House still gives him a subtle salute to the guy while being handcuffed and led away, almost to say, "Enjoy your healing and the defeat of your arch nemesis The Sickness™, glad to be part of it."

Majority of his drive to stop at nothing until his patient is cured is definitely thanks to his own fucked-up leg, even if there are some dialogues with Cuddy and Stacy Warner (House's ex wife) that seem to imply he has always been a misanthrophe whose hobby is getting into malpractice (or general) lawsuits. I wholeheartedly believe that after his leg clot rendered him disabled and with chronic pain, he became much more dedicated and obsessed with getting to the bottom of a patient's medical information, even for info that seems innocuous or irrelevant that always turn out to be important (probably more like a plot armor than established characterization, to be honest), almost like this is his method of relating to the patients in his own weirdly human way, and maybe a little bit (actually, a lot) of projecting.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[vibratingskull]

Yandere!Thrawn x F!reader chapter 10

Yandere AU - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9

Tags : Yandere behaviors (duh), gaslighting, masturbation

You wince in pain. You frown and sigh frustrated at your casts. Those wretched things get in the way of absolutely everything! You cannot wait to get rid of them and go back to your former life! 

For Thrawn too it would be better... A Grand Admiral should be focusing on war and not losing time over a helpless officer. You are sure his patience must start to run thin with you. 

In fact you are absloutely sure of it! It has been weeks since you are in his suite and you still need those stupid casts, forcing him to help you in everything. At least you manage to eat by yourself now, that’s little but still a win. 

You sigh again, your eyes falling back on your drawing folder once again. Drawing with your non-dominant hand is a pain in the ass and the result suffers so much for it. You observe the drawing you’re currently tracing, pursing your lips. That is not good! 

You had to abandon portraits and models studies to focus on more abstract figures and forms. You’re not exactly vibing with that style but you’re starting to get the gist of it. You raise your pencil, wondering what to trace now when you start hearing a loud noise coming from the living room of Thrawn’s suite. 

What the hell is he doing? 

You lay your feet on the floor and tentatively try to stand up. You are trembling terribly but manage to stand on your two feet, although uncomfortably! You jump one step to the side, taking support on the bed, and another one, and another one, and another! 

Clumsily, you cross the bedroom to finally reach the door, taking support on the wall or furnitures. You take a second to take back your breath, joy slowly florishing in your heart. This is not optimum but you succeeded in moving from point A to point B all alone! Maybe you are starting to mend after all! 

The door slides open and you pass your head inside. Thrawn is kneeling close to the sofa, a little machine in hand. You clumsily jump towards the big table in the middle of the room to change point of you. Thrawn is in his black tank top, his pristine white jacket folded on one of the chair. He is screwing something in the wall, but you cannot see what. 

“What are you doing, sir?” You shout over the hellish sound of the drill. Thrawn instantaneously stops, raising an eyebrow at you over his shoulder. 

First off : what’s with that ‘sir’ bullshit? Aren’t you on a first name basis? Second : What are you doing in his living room? Since when can you move all by yourself? Is your time together up already? 

“What is it for?” You repeat, jumping funny towards him so see. You lean forward to discover a little metal hoop screwed to the wall. You look at him with a silent question in your eyes. 

“This is prevention.” He responds enigmatically, his unbothered expression already back on, “Just in case.”, “In case for what?” You ask smiling. He hooks two fingers in the metal contraption and pulls on it to test it. It doesn’t even tremble. He nods satisfied and stands back up, “Do not worry about it. I hope it will never come to use, but one is never too safe.” He closes the matter, “How did you came here?” 

You smile broadly, “I jumped! It sends unpleasant vibrations through my leg cast but it’s manageable.” Thrawn looks at you up and down with a closed expression “You should not do that, you will fall.”, “But you wouldn’t need to carry me everywhere!” you counter, “Until you break a bone again.” He finishes. 

You sulk, lowering your head. You hoped he would be happy for you. He is right of course, but he could have let you savor this little victory. Everything would have been simpler if you had a wheelchair but Thrawn argued you could not navigate it properly in the suite. And faire, it would be difficult. 

But still... 

“May I see your latest piece?” Thrawn asks, his tone infinitely softer. You raise your gaze to him, not understanding. “Your drawing folder.” He explains, gesturing to the object in your hand. You didn’t realized you still had it! 

“It’s not good.” You warn. “Nonsense, I am sure it is delightful as all your other art pieces.”he retorts. You flush, hearing him qualify your stupid drawing as ‘art pieces’. “Those are silly doodles, nothing more.” you chuckle, embarassed. “Allow me to contradict you. As an art connoisseur I can recognize talent when I see it. And your art shines to my eyes like any grand master work.” 

You clear you throat, heat flourishing in your cheeks, “Will you allow me?” He asks again. You press the folder against your chest, still uneasy to let Thrawn rummage through your sketches. 

He tilts his head at your silence, “Is there a problem?” He invastigates. “No... Not really.” you mumble. “Perfect! So can I?” He insists. 

He never loses an occasion to rummage through your drawings, especially since he entrapted you with him in his suite. He delighted himself in your evolving view of his personhood through your abstract shapes. He picked upon the fact that you started to question yourself more than his actions lately, much to his pleasure. 

He doesn’t deprive himself of gaslighting you into letting him access your folder. Today is no different. 

“I suppose you can...” You back down and he gently takes it off your hand. He wins again! 

“What are you doing here by the way?” You ask, realizing he should be on the bridge at this hour. “It is my day off.” He explains patiently. “Oh!” You exclaim, “The legendary Grand Admirals’ days off, seen only every six months if lucky enough!” You joke. “Indeed, they are quite rare.” He nods, “But that only makes them more valuable. I shall take my time to properly appreciate and admire your pieces once I am done with those hooks.”, “You’re going to screw more?” you investigate curious. “All over the suite, especially around the bed.”  

You ponder what use those little hooks would have, especially near a bed but Thrawn can do watherver he wants in his suite. You are not going to question him for something so inconsequential. 

“Do you want a treat?” He asks out of the blue. Your purse your lips, thinking for a split second, Thrawn proposing a treat? Unheard off! But you are a gourmand through and through! “Why not?” You accept.  

He gently helps you sit on the sofa and brings you a chocolate cake. You frown with a light smile, “You have such treats in your fridge?”, “I know you enjoy a good cake so I always keep one at arm’s reach.” He simply responds like it was obvious. “Oh... Thank you...” You flush again, “You are welcome Ch’acah.”, “What does that means exactly?” you tilt your head as you gingerly takes the plate off his hand to not drop the precious cake. “It means friend in Cheuhn.” He lies with his most insolent smile. “Can I call you Ch’acah, then?” You ask with an elated smile. “I would be delighted, Ch’acah.” He grins, dark satisfaction growing in his heart, “It would be an honor.” 

You nod with glee before focusing on your cake. As you eat it you hear Thrawn continuing screwing hooks all around the suite. You savor your cake like the rare treat that it is on the Chimaera, taking your sweet time, letting each bites melt into your mouth. You are only in the middle of the cake when Thrawn reappears in the living room. 

‘’Do you mind if I exercise ?’’ he asks you as he approaches his exercise bench in front of you. ‘’Not at all, Ch’acah !’’ you grin. 

He doesnt show it but his heart is pounding in his chest when you call him ‘love’ in his mothertongue. It just sounds so …right! He had lovers in his past that called him ‘Ch’acah’ too, but none ever got this reaction out of him. 

You are just that superior to anyone else to him ! 

He simply smiles at your innocent enthusiasm and decides to offer you a little spectacle for it… 

Out of nowhere, Thrawn takes out his shirt, revealing his perfectly carved chest and you almost choke on your bite. He throws it somewhere in the room and prepares his bench while tou cough your lungs out. 

‘’Are you alright ?’’ he cannot help but tease you. You nod hurriedly, a fist pressed against your mouth. He pretends to go back to his preparation, hiding his satisfied grin to you. You are and remain a woman who appreciate masculine bodies, and his body is particularly well made. He took great care of it for decades after all. He flexes his well defined muscles to your view, pretending to warm them up to tease and confuse you. 

He has been the ‘good friend’ long enough, it is time he becomes something more in your eyes ! Something powerful and irresistible, a man on top of his game. 

You do not know where to look. He never undressed in front of you before, you were so unprepared by this sudden indecence from him. You’ve seen plenty of men’s chest but Thrawn always favored his modesty. Seeing his chest exposed so suddenly like that is almost…lecherous. 

You slap yourself mentally. He can expose himself if wants to, you are in his suite after all. What is it to you anyway? You bite down another bite of the cake, trying to look at absolutely everything else but him. But the blue of his skin is so deep and vibrant … Your eyes are inextricably attracted towards him.  

He finishes his warm up nonchalantly, flexing his wonderfully defined shoulders and shoulderblades, letting you appreciate the glory of his back. 

 With a discreet and quick glance at you he notes satisifed that the heat of your cheeks is rising, such as the heat between your thighs. 

Good. 

Excellent even. 

He lays down on his bench and starts his rep like you weren’t here, focusing in his breath while you are almost drooling on your cake with that spectacle. You bite the inner of your cheeks, trying to only look at your delicious cake but you feel your mouth and throat going dry before such view. You gulp with difficulties, Thrawn is terribly well made you realize... 

You noticed before the elegance and perfection of his face but now you are forced to admit the rest of his body may be a paragon just as much. You swallow your bite slowly while he keeps showcasing his muscular body with different exercises, your eyes betraying you and always raising back to ogle him as discreetly as you can. 

You chastise yourself. Thrawn is a friend! He is your Ch’acah! How dare you ogle at him in such a way?! He innocently follows his training routine and you cannot help yourself but sexualizing him. 

But he is so well made it is so hard to not stare... 

You instinctively press your thighs together, trying to silence your core slowly waking up at such perfection. His body is just...  

Glorious 

You have no other word than glorious. Suddenly your flesh and body understand why the Captain was lusting after him. It is really hard not to when you are subjected to such a vision. 

Get a fucking grip, (Y/n)! Friends don’t do that to each other! 

“Is there a problem Ch’acah?” Thrawn’s deep melodious voice snaps you out of your trance and you realize that despite your best efforts your eyes where fixed on him again! “N-No!” You immediately responds forcing them back on your plate. “You were fixing me so intently.” He continues. 

He takes great satisfaction at your startled expression. Of course he saw how difficult it was for you to not look at him. As it should! He wants you to realize what you could have if you just succombed to temptation, what delights he could give you, what he refused to so many people before you but is ready to give today. 

Just.for.you. 

 Would it be anyone else but you he would be greatly displeased at being observed like that, but he wants you confused and drooling over him. 

And you are doing so great right now! 

You wail in your mind. Dear Maker he noticed you checking him out! 

“I was just observing your technique.” You reply in a heartbeat, “It is quite different than mine and I might experiment with it once I can resume training.” 

Nice save, he will give you that. “I can teach you all of my techniques if you wish.” He proposes politely, “It will take several hours but we are alone here, we will not be disturbed.” He lets his Chiss accent peak through, rolling his ‘r’ like a purring feline, like a promise, sounding exotic and lyrical. 

You swallow your bite once again, nodding weakly as you desperatly tries to rationalize this entire situation. He doesn’t miss how your thighs muscles clench and unclench repeatedly, how your core shines brighter in his eyes now that all your warm blood is flooding to your southern muscles... He cannot help but lick his lips a that detail. 

He lifts his weights with ease. He feels powerful under your gaze, pure and raw strenght running in his veins and mucles as you observe him. Is it childish of him? Most certainly. But he cannot help it. You are the anchor in his life, your mood dictates his entire course of actions, no wonder an admirative glance from you would boost his power and feed his ego. “Do not deprive yourself from looking, you will learn a great deal of my techiques by observation alone.” He nonchalantly invites. 

“Okay...” You reply weakly, at war with yourself and your morality. Even if he gave you his consent to observe him it doesn’t sit well with you. You cannot help but cheking him out instead of platonically detailing his methods as you pretended. 

He breathes deeply and longly between each movement and you cannot help yourself but wondering if he would sound like that in bed... Stop that immediately!  

He knows very well what he is doing. He knows the of turmoil raging inside of you. Serves you right! This is what you get for bringing him to his knees every single day. “Focus on my breathing, respiration is an integral part of training.” He teases you when he sees you closing your eyes to not see him anymore. You shudder at his sounds, as they invade your ears and mind with dirty thoughts. 

The heat signals of your face and sex are through the roof just as he hoped and planned. Good. 

He finishes his training session as you ostensibly tries to look away, but he is not quite done with you yet. He wants to keep toying with you a bit more. You let out a breath of relief when you realizes he stopped. Now he is going to put back his shirt on and go take a shower and leave you alone to calm down! What a relief! Phew! 

But as you blink you see him approaching you. He leans forward you, getting dangerously close.” Do not move Ch’acah.” He murmures. 

Is he... fixing your lips?! 

Before you can do or say anything, his hand come cupping your boiling hot cheek and his thumb very gently brushes your lips, pulling them slightly appart. You cannot help the gasp escaping you. “You have cream on your lips.” He simply indicates just above a whisper. He takes out his thumb now full of cream and licks it thouroughly without breaking eyes contact with you. 

You are so shocked you cannot move or blink to save your life. He lets out his thumb out of his mouth with a sounding pop and a smile. “Very sweet and tasty.” He grins lightly. 

You are hit by lightning and jumps on your two feet in a hurry. He looks at you with a raising brow, waiting for an explanation. “It was delicious, thank you very much! Now I think I need a nap!” You precipitadly announce, flushing terribly. “Allow me to escort you to bed.” He straightnes his back, towering over you with his height. “No, no,no,no!” you immediately stop him, “I’ll go by myself!” and you start jumping away in the most inelegant way he ever saw. You can’t have him carrying you to bed after such a spectacle or you will sponteanously combust! 

He chuckles under his breath, satisfied with himself. At least until he hears a loud thud and realizes he was indeed right : you fell face first in the dirt. 

“Ch’acah! Are you alright?” He is at your side immediately, kneeling down to help you. What a stupid idea to jump around with a leg and an arm in a cast! He makes you roll on your back and hears your laugh. 

“I am so clusmy sometimes!” You laugh, more scared than hurt. He releases his breath, relieved. “Let me carry you. He decides, “Just help me on my feet an I am good to go!” You argue with an chuckle. He stares at you coldly, his grip on your shoulder tightening.  

The message his clear. 

“Alright, Grand Admiral...” You submit, your laugh dying down and your gaze low. “That is better.” he closes the matter. He scoops your bruised body and lift you without any difficulties, your head is rigth on his large, muscular pec and his musk invades your nose instantaneously making you squirm embarassed in his arms. He carries you easily to the bedroom and very gently lays you down the matress, “I will take a thorough look at your bruises during the bath.” he announces his sentence. 

Oh no... 

“It’s alright! I didn’t even hurt my head!” You try to get out of this with a light chuckle, trying to ease the atmosphere. But he looks as dead serious as ever, pretending to modestly pulling on the little dress he chose for you to falsely cover your thighs. “Permit me to doubt your judgement, the groan you made when you hit the floor was really telling. Do not worry, I will dress any wound I will find.”, “I swear it’s fine! I don’t feel any pain or-”  

He suddenly spins his head towards yours, bringing it dangerously close and seizing your chin in his fist, red shiny eyes fixated on yours making you shut up instantly in surprise and fear. “Will you ever stop making things difficult?” He demands with an icy cold tone, “I know what I am doing. The less difficult you are the quicker you will mend.” His eyes are dark, shooting you with his red glare. You can only gulp. 

“I am sorry... Sir.” He looks at you black for several more seconds before letting his carefully crafted expression melt into a false sympathetic smile, “I am sorry Ch’acah. But I take your healing journey seriously, I feel partly responsible for what happened to you. Just let me help you in return, alright?” he intentionaly softens his tone to ease your nerves. “Alright, sir...” you abdicate. 

“Please” he pulls the cover over your body to tuck you in good, “We are friend, (Y/n). Call me Ch’acah.” he presses. “Okay... Ch’acah.” you whispers on eggshells. 

 “Good girl.” He leans forward to very gently kiss your forehead, brushing his lips like butterflies on your skin. You wince at the petname, remembering that Chiss are more liberal with them than humans according to Thrawn’s words. Once again you get a whiff of his masculine musk, making your head spin again and your core contract demanding sweet attention. “I will take a shower. Do not hesitate to call me if you need anything.” 

You grasp his wrist to hold him back as he raise back to head to the shower. “Well, I know I already asked and I insisted before but... Could you give me back a comlink?” You ask. 

He interiorly sighs. He managed until now to shut down your demand for a comlink, but as more time pass, the more legitimate your demand gets. To make you wait he lended you a datapad, but making sure you couldn’t communicate with anybody with it. “Why would you want a comlink?” He asks innocently like he doesn’t understand, sitting on the edge of the bed. “To speak with people, obviously! I want to speak to my family, to Karyn too. It gets lonely here when you are on the bridge.” I also need to keep myslef inform on the current mission of the Chiamera.” You argue. 

“Comlinks are forbidden during remission.” He counters, “You should take this as an opportunity to meditate and recenter your focus on your discipline. A comlink would only distract you.” You frown, wrinkling your nose “I am not a child alright? I can have discipline and a comlink at the same time!”  

He shakes his head with a sorry expression, “The Imperial protocols are clear : no comlink during remission.” You groan and let yourself fall on the pillow, frustrated, “Captain Faro is terribly busy at the moment.” He gently explained, “She volunteered to take on your workload while you are healing, she has very little time for a friendly chat. But I can greet her on your behalf, she would be relieved to hear you feel better.” He diplomatically proposes. Which is a complete lie of course, Faro heard about your death from himself, something she is still brooding over. 

“And my familly? Did anyone warned them I was hurt? That I am better now?” you insist. “We do not signify families about every single wound an enlisted suffers Ch’acach, you know it.” He recalls you with just enough condescension in the the tone to still be subtle. You sigh, “This was not a simple wound, they have the right to know!”, “You will heal and walk out of it like it was nothing, why do you want them to worry? To them you are striving right now.”, “Am I striving to you?” You clap back, more and more annoyed. He slightly bows his head to you, “I mispoke, my apologies. My point is ; you will soon heal completely, there is no use to worrying them now. But I can transmit them a message from you if you wish.”  

You exhale through your nose, “Forget it. You are right, no need to warn them now. I will speak with them during my leave.” He gently brushes a strand of hair out of your face, “You need rest, Ch’acah. Sleep soundly, I will remain in the adjacent room if you need anything.” You nod and he enters the bathroom. You roll to the side when you hear the water running, your mind in ebullition. 

The entire bedroom smells like Thrawn and his delicious musk... Making your head spin dangerously. When you close your eyes to actually try to sleep like you pretended you will the vision of his mighty body imposes itself to you, making you shudder in shame. 

How dare you do that to your friend? Sexualising him like that! He saw you naked everyday (to your horror) since you are in his suite but he never was troubled by it. As he said to you he appears completely desensitized to naked bodies.  

You sigh, trying to get some sleep but the idea of Thrawn’s naked body next door is setting you ablaze, to your dismay. You wail, remembering that he will bath you once again and sleep in the same bed as you because you are so goddamn cold every night despite him checking the temperature each evening. 

Nothing will get spared to you in this trial... 

Far away from your confusion and guilt, Thrawn is enjoying his shower, imagining back your weight in his arms, the plump of your exposed thighs when you fell, the thinness of your human skin, the smoothness and infinite softness of it... He wanted to lick you so badly, every crook and crannies of your fragile body. A wretched smiles come stretches his lips. You would slap him across the face if he ever qualified you as fragile to your face 

And he would surely adore that... 

He sighs, letting hot water rolling on his thick Chiss skin. He wants you to dig your nails deep into his flesh so badly! To claw his back entirely, he wants to wear the scars of your passion in his flesh. He caresses his lips, remembering the plumpness of your own when he brushed them with his thumb. You were so surprised by his action you said absolutely nothing, letting him do as he pleased. 

He feels fire igniting in his sex as he remembers your heavy gaze checking him out. You tried to be subtle about it, but nothing escapes him. Ever. He lets his hand brushing his pecs to slowly going down his abs, feeling the powerful muscles rolling under his blue skin, retracing the path of your gaze on his body. He lightly chuckles as he saw your flushing cheek getting worse as you couldn’t help yourself but gaze longingly at him. His hand reaches his groin and he takes it firmly in his palm, gently playing with his tip, toying with himself.  

He always hated the way his past relationships complimented him on his physic, he remembers how he used to sleep with them in his clothes to not expose himself to their undeserving gazes. 

Now that he knows true passion for you he came to the realisation he never was truly in love with anyone else before, that none really catched his eyes, it was more of a way for him to get relief without real, deep sentiments from his part. He admits, now looking back, that the feeling of dirtiness he felt after every night with his former partners was not ‘normal’. That he just convinced himself he had to go throught that to not appear more... Out of place that he always has been.  

He is also naturally curious and wanted to understand, to try for himself, see what the fuss was about “couples” and “relationship” and “sex”. How disappointed he was, was that all? That was the things getting people crazy about? He remembers having to force himself to go to bed with his ‘lovers’ to get them off his back and being at peace, or they started to complain they were “neglected”. But he couldn’t help it, the act and the sentiments were just so utterly uninteresting and repulsive to him. He did derive pleasure from sex, but it definitely lacked something to truly be worth anything in his eyes. And even though he definitively appreciated the companionship and admiration his past lovers gave him, he now knows it wasn’t love on his part and he hated when they started to get “too” attached, too lovey dovey with him, it just got under his skin and when he was in their arms the only thing he could think about was the moment they would let go. So after several terribly unfruitful attempts he just threw everything to the bin and pursued his career and mission without a single look back. And he thrived, free of this burden. 

Until he met you. 

When he started to get interested in you everything became clear, obvious, evident... They simply weren’t you, his darling, his other half, his intended, his soulmate. He had to cross the entire chaos to finally meet you and understand what “love” truly meant but it was definitely worth it. 

With you he wants to try everything! Every fancies, every kinks, every dates, every whims! Absolutely everything! He knows you would never disappoint him. 

He sniffs in disdain thinking back at his now dead Captain, he spent a full hour scrubbing his entire body to wash her off him after she imposed herself on him! It was just so disgusting... 

He deeply inhales. She is dead now, and she had it coming. He should focus on you, laying next door, so close but also so far away at the same time... 

He gasps, desperantly wanting to feel your smaller hand around his girth. Will you ogle his cock with hunger like you just did his chest or recoil in fear of his size? Will you drool at the idea of having it in your mouth or panick at the possibility of it entering your little pussy? Will you cry of pleasure or pain when he will take you for the first time? Either way he will gladly lick your tears away, whispering sweet nothing in your ears to ease the tension and help you relax. 

He is so much more taller and larger than the average human and Chiss man, you will absolutely strangle his lenght in your tight little pussy no matter the time he takes to prepare you. What will you prefer as roleplay to get you nice and wet? He really hopes you will let him eat you out! He craves it so badly he sometimes wonders where he find the will to not jump on you right here and there... 

He closes his eyes as he starts fisting his cock, imagining your soft hand instead of his own. What kind of pace would you set? Will you play with his tip first or getting into it right away? Will you squeeze his lenght tight here and there or gently caressing it like a precious thing? Will you gently kiss his cheek and lips while giving him a handjob or will you avert your gaze and hide your face in the crook of his neck? 

So many delicious possibilities, so many different ravishing scenarios... 

He greets his teeth as he accelerates his back and forth movement of his hand, chasing his pleasure. He doesn’t have your scrupules and avidly masturbates at the simple thought of you. He doesn’t even need a lecherous vision, sometime just painting your gorgeous eyes in his mind gets him hot and bothered, carrying him to completion with ease.  

But nothing gets him going as the thought of him getting handcuffed to the bed and you riding him as you wish, imposing him your own pace and your own desires. He wants your hand squeezing his throat until he looses consciousness or slapping him across the face. He wants you to dominate him entirely, looking down at him in all your glory... Is that too much to ask? He wants you to gag him, to chain him up, to degradate him until he is just a puddle of mess and completely on edge.  

He never accepted his former lovers to take the lead. They never deserved to see that vulnerable part of him, he never wanted to reveal it to any of them. 

But you... 

For you he will relinquish all his powers and kneel before you to kiss your feet! 

He gasps as the pleasure courses though his entire body, fisting his cock harshly. He lets silent pleas escaping his lips, calling your name in a mute prayer as he agressively caress his dick. He takes support on the wet wall with one hand, the steam invaded the entire bathroom making it almost impossible to breath but he keeps going, panting with desire. He greets his teeth, imagining you naked in his Grand Admiral jacket, seating proudly on his command chair on the bridge, allowing him to lick your glorious little pussy in front of the entire crew. He rolls his hand in a fist and bites down his knuckle to silence himself. He wants you to force his face against your sex, suffocating him entirely but he would work so well on you, he will docilely obey your every commands. He envisions himself rising his gaze to met yours, full of disdain and contempt for him... 

He shudders, like hit by lightnings and comes at that vision. He comes all over his large hand, spilling his seed in the stall as he gasps, breathless.  

If only it was your hand... If only it was inside your sweet pussy... 

He lingers on that last thought...’If only it was inside your sweet pussy?’ 

He observes his seed smeared across his palm, absolutely fascinated like it was the first time he saw it. Yes... Why not after all? Why not inside your sweet little pussy? What if... You became pregnant? Round with his baby... He feels his breath catching in his throat, he likes that thought.  

He likes it A LOT.  

He envisions with new plump curves adorning your gorgeous body, your belly heavy with a baby. HIS baby. He imagines you walking around his suite with your proeminent belly, asking him for help because it gets in your way. He will need to satisfy every one of your needs and satisfy you throroughly to ensure a healthy baby! 

He can do that! Bend over backwards to please you and your babies, no questions asked! He shivers in anticipation at that simple thought. 

He realizes that this idea will not leave him anymore, no matter what he will do. 

He brings his hand to his lips and he gives a little lick at his palm, tasting his semen. 

Salty. 

Would it be to your taste? Would it be compatible with your organism? Are Chiss and humans compatible? 

Well, he has only one way to know it, doesn’t he? 

He takes back his breath, letting the water washing away his seed and finishes to clean himself. He slicks his hair back perfectly in front of the mirror, like absolutely nothing happened and takes out your stolen toothbrush of its secret spot to brush his teeth with it, savoring your taste in his mouth.  

As he exit the steaming bathroom he discovers you napping. You did end up going to sleep after all. He approaches silently, looming over your smaller form, his shining red gaze like a predator... He leans forward, devored by curiosity. 

Do you still have a scar on your neck? 

He pushes your hair out of the way to reveal your fragile neck to his vision, he lets the tip of his fingers traveling on your skin until he locates the thin scar let by the blade he stole from you. He gently caresses it, the taste of your blood invading his mouth once again. He buries his head in the crook of your neck and give a long, sloppy lick at your scar making you squirm and moan in your sleep. 

He caresses your cheek with his knuckles tenderly. Oh how much he loves you... Sometimes he feels like he gone absolutely crazy. 

And maybe he did... 

He gently kisses your cheek and leaves you to sleep undisturbed. He has your new drawing to study and dissect, he will have the pleasure to bathe you later down the day... 

@Bluechiss @blueninjablade3 @al-astakbarstakbar @thrawnspetgoose @readinglistfics @twilekchiss @pencil_urchin @ineedazeezee @mssbridgerton @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching @Cortisolcosplay @obbicrystaleo  @germie2037 

[kib-ble]

her knight in shining blood

i was listened to bf asmr’s yesterday and got this idea (don’t judge me, i’m depressed and i also pulled this out of my ass, once again, so it’s very rushed)

(knight!simon riley x princess reader)

he watched as new suitors came into the kingdom to present the princess their hand, only to be rejected each time. he heard the words from her father, the king, “stop being so picky, you need to marry royalty.” to which she looked over at him, a small look of pain written on her face.

simon knew what was running through her mind, the annoyance that no one will listen to her when she says she doesn’t want to marry royalty, instead her own knight that was assigned to protect her.

he knew the pain all too well. with one of the neighboring kingdoms planning to kidnap the princess after she rejected their prince, simon kept a high alert of people who come near his true love. his eyes were on her, always.

she got up after the king dismissed her, walking straight towards simon. he watched her intently, her every move was remembered in his mind.

“i wanna go on a walk,” she said, with no room for argument. she needs to clear her head, he thought. “come on.”

she walked away first, as he looked over at the king and nodded. he took the side next to her, their hands grazing against each other as they walked. they had waited till they were out of the castle to hold hands. if anyone said anything, the only response would be “she tries to wander off”, which is true, the princess tries to sneak off.

they walk next to a small part of the town, where it isn’t that busy. a small smile appears on simons lips as he watches her talk about her day. the topic of marriage comes up again and he pauses.

“i want to marry you, not some annoying prince..” she speaks softly, the words ring in his ears for a few moments. ‘i want to marry you’.

“why can’t i marry based on love, not wealth?”

“your kingdom is dying, your highness, you would be risking the fall of your rein.” he stopped walking and turned to look at her, “i need you to understand that you have to marry a suitor, forget about me, my love.”

she gasped and let go of his hand, “i will do no such thing! i love you and will not trade my love for money!”

“marriage is not based on love, it’s based on money and success. i have neither and cannot provide for you. i can only give you my strength.” his head dropped slightly, like a small bow.

“i want not to marry for money, i could give two shits about money, i want to be happy.” she raises her voice slightly, but he could hear the breaking in it.

“your highness, i will not let you throw away your rein for a knight! you know better than this!” now he felt like the king, scolding her on something she already knows. she stepped back slightly and stared at him.

“fine. i will marry a suitor, but im not giving up on us.” she turned around and started to walk back to the castle for bed. simon sighed and followed moments after, watching her waved and smile at the villagers like they didn’t just have an argument. he knew better, she wasn’t happy. she was on the verge of breaking.

~the next day~

with all the talk about the princess and kidnapping, simons guard was raised. he only left her side when she needed to go the bathroom. she wasn’t allowed in the village no more.

the neighboring kingdom had began their attack, leading closer to the castle. they weren’t very stealthy, only loud and obnoxious. simon watched as the princess paced back and forth. he had just told her the news of him fighting the battle.

“you cant do this! what if they come to the castle and try to take me! who would be protecting me then?”

he stood up from his spot and walked over to her, grabbing her hands and holding them tightly. their eyes met and he swore he could see them light up. “i am fighting for you. i will come back to you if something happens. i was assigned to be your knight and i will never stop fighting until this world no longer threatens you, my princess.”

his forehead rests against hers as they both close their eyes. they’re happy and they’re content.

“i must ask one thing from you, your highness..”

“yes, anything. what do you need from me, simon.” her eyes pleading as she softly spoke.

“may i have a kiss?” his tone sounded suggestive and soft. her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, not to choke him but to hold onto him, as she kissed him slowly and contently. his big, strong hands held her waist to stabilzed her as she stood on her tippy-toes.

when they pulled away, they were both out of breathe and smiled heavily at each other. her forehead rested on his strong chest inbetween her hands.

“promise me something?”

“yes, my princess?”

“you’ll come back to me tomorrow”

“i would never think to leave you alone in a world that only wants to harm you.” she smiles softly at this, placing her hand and forehead on his strong chest. her protector would never leave her.

~next day~

the princess was locked within the wall of her castle, with her family and royal servants. only the knights left the walls. which included simon.

she looked out of her room, over the vast land of her kingdom, where she could see them fight.

she could see the men fall from their horses and other being stabbed. she only hoped and wished simon would come back to her.

the fight lasted for weeks, with no breaks. she was left alone to wonder with her true love was slain or would he come back to her.

with rumors spreading through the streets that simon had been killed, she felt like her world had crumbled beneath her feet.

her simon, was murdered by a man who couldn’t accept rejection. disgusting king behavior. she sobbed for days until it was confirmed the soldiers were heading home and she had to greet them by the gates.

her and her family stood and welcomed all the soldiers back from their fight, thanking them and wishing them the best with healing. when it came to the very injured wagon of soldiers, she had noticed a very recognizable mask.

her simon was alive.

she ran to him and hugged him very tightly, being very wary of his wounds. she could feel his smile as he hugged her back with one arm, the other sitting at his side. he pulled her into his lap and held her tight.

“i thought you had died! everyone had said so!!” she softly yelled, holding his face and crying.

his hand wiped her tears, “i would never think about it, my love.”

she had snuggled into his lap, holding his as tightly as she could and as her parents watched the true love unfold, they realized you can’t marry for money, but for love. 🫶

[fbfh]

I cannot shut up about Mischa and I'm not going to. I'm thinking specifically about the first time you get to see him in person. He's spent the entire year yearning for you. He's laid his heart at your feet, and every moment spent apart from you brings him so much pain, he doesn't know how he'll see the light of the next day. The only thing keeping him going is texting you constantly. Every free moment (and several where he should be doing something else) is spent professing his love for you again and again, telling you how the very thought of getting to be with you someday is like a glimpse of sunlight on the horizon of eternal darkness. What he doesn't know is that you managed to drag your ass all the way to his part of canada to surprise him for his choir's concert they're performing right before spring break. If you're smart, you'll make sure he only knows you're there after the concert, because if he spots you in the crowd he won't care about anything else. He'll jump off that stage and tear through the crowd to get to you. Before you can even greet him properly, he's pulling you into his arms, caressing your cheeks with tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. He looks at you with all these overwhelming feelings that are too big to describe, but you understand them perfectly.

"God has heard my prayers, he has smiled upon me," you can see him physically restraining himself from kissing you, trying to get it out, trying to make you understand how he feels for you, "It must be a miracle that brings you here to me, my love. Nothing less could keep us apart any longer."

He has more to say, but he can't keep himself from you any longer. He pulls you even closer to him, his hands all over you, his muscular arms wrapping tight around your form. He dips you, planting the most passionate, end of the movie, head spinning kiss on your soft lips that you ever knew could exist. He kisses you and kisses you until you're both out of breath, finally pulling away and breathing your name in a soft, lovesick sigh.

"Misch..." you murmur, caressing his cheek. He leans into your touch, eyes fluttering closed at the feeling of your skin on his. You don't hear the protests from Ocean onstage for ruining their concert, you don't hear Noel exclaim in shock that you're real, everything besides your Mischa fades away.

"The need for air in my lungs is nothing, not when I can finally hold you. My love, my divine angel..." he trails off, knocking the air out of both of you with another kiss, and another, and another. Suffice it to say they ended the concert early.

[howlingdemon13]

Can we talk about Trevor’s sass and bully energy in CoD? Please? Please, I really want to talk about the sassy boi so bad!!!!!!

I have so many ✨thoughts✨ as to why an otherwise open guy who makes friends exclusively with fellow misfits would be so hostile to someone like Hector (a misfit trying to do the right thing).

I know some people have pointed out that it’s because Trevor is slightly affected by Dracula’s curse, but I feel like that kinda takes away from a more core/interesting take that you can make an argument for.

While I like the idea of even a Belmont being susceptible to dark magic to some degree (we see this happen with other Belmonts like Simon and Richter), I feel like it takes away from something that I think is a little more obvious?

Man’s is pissed, bro.

Trevor and his family have gone through hell up until this point. His ancestor basically doomed the clan to forever hunt the most evil being on earth for what will end up being centuries (looking at you, Leon). Which is good, considering they’ve made themselves the most qualified, but it cost them basic respect from the people they’re protecting and they’ve lost so much more because of it. But they’re noble and don’t seem to complain. You’re lucky, Leon.

Now, we know Trevor probably doesn’t care what people think about him so long as he can keep them safe. It’s his duty, and we see time and time again that he’ll literally do anything to make sure people are alive so that they can think their stupid silly thoughts about him and his family. By his time, he’s exiled, excommunicated, and shunned but he never once complains. Even when people come crawling to him for help, he doesn’t hesitate to do so. This is what he was called to do: kill Dracula and bring peace. He’s noble like that. He’s a knight like Leon in his own way.

As far as he knows, Dracula cannot come back after he and his friends defeated him in CV3.

Until things start looking… off. There’s a creeping darkness and uncertainty that feels so familiar. But that’s impossible, right? Dracula is gone, so how…?

“You’re telling me Dracula’s employee - some fucking guy - wants to bring Dracula back from the dead!?”

Would you not also be fucking pissed? To have your family endure centuries of pain and trauma - to have experienced it for yourself - and finally done what you have prepared your entire life to potentially do, only for some fucking guy to try to fuck all of that up? Would you not rush out of your home to go kick their ass and pummel them for daring to plunge the world into darkness? That same darkness you yourself expunged and went through hell to do???

Uh, if you say no you’re a liar.

From canon, we know that Trevor and Sypha have either started a family or are at least thinking about it at this point (I assume it’s the former since I am 110% certain she would have tagged along. Things would have been so much easier with her magic. And I personally think that would be a fun date idea - beating the tar out of Dracula’s unhinged employee - but I realize I’m not most people). Point being, Trevor not only has to worry about all of humanity (again), but his family. And, considering he was the last known member of his family when Dracula bit the dust, he’s going to fight tooth and nail to keep this.

If you say you’d play nice and try to be understanding when the lives and futures of your kids are at stake, you’re lying. Idk what to tell ya.

Trevor obviously takes initiative and it borders on impulsiveness, but he’s not going to make the mistake of letting this situation get to a point that all hell breaks loose if he has any say in it. I do like to think that he’s inherently a little sassy anyway, but let’s ramp that up to 100 when he’s livid.

But anger leads to getting sloppy and making mistakes. He doesn’t give Hector a chance to explain himself. That would take too much time. The Forgemaster could deceive him and cost him time or worse. He gets distracted and lets Isaac get away. He gets distracted again and nearly gets himself killed.

Maybe under different circumstances Hector would have at least gotten an apology. Like “aw fuck, sorry. I forgot there were two of you. My bad. Wanna help me out with this one?” Ultimately, he does help Hector despite his initial skepticism, and I think it’s a mix of feeling at least a little bad about beating him up and realizing that he works better with a team.

Going off of how he talks down to Hector after beating him up, one could argue that maybe Trevor is just kinda full of himself? Like he’s riding the high off of being the hero? Well, you’re wrong. Trevor is very quick to hype his friends up and give them equal credit in kicking Dracula’s ass. Sure, maybe he jokes about it with his friends, but he’s not full of himself to the degree that he’s going to hype himself up when his friends aren’t around. He’s humble like that. Fight me behind Waffle House about it.

Trevor isn’t incompetent, but he does let his emotions control him. Again, he works better with a team, but he’s so impulsive and pissed at this point that he probably just ran out of the house to go and do what is (up until this point) his job; keep people safe. Keep his family safe.

So, yeah, maybe the curse feeds into his emotions and decisions, but I think it’s more compelling for Trevor to be a very tired, traumatized, and livid dad doing what he thinks is the right thing to do to make sure his kids (and other people, sure) have a future in which they don’t have to go through the horrible things their mom and dad (and uncle Grant and uncle Alucard) went through. If he could see what became of future members of his family and see the hells they faced, I genuinely think it would break his heart.

So yeah, Trevor is bitchy, but I think he has a right to be bitchy when someone is threatening to blow down his metaphorical house of cards that he went through hell to stack up.

[moldycrustyvoldy]

Lesson 2: Writers = Humans; you Pieces of shit

There better be reblogs with fucking memes of crying children or I’m gonna be pissed. Anyway toodaloo :))))))))))

Today’s Lesson: What is a Fanfiction Writer/Creator? I Think They Might Be a Human with Feelings Too?!?!?!?

Hold up. Wait. Hold the phone. The master behind the words on your screen are people too? Somebody call fucking Einstein cause this shit is a revelation. Like the words how make me giggle with teeth-sickening cotton candy fluff, and the words that make me fucking sob until I’m nauseous and can’t breathe let alone make it through my day are written by people? HOLD. THE. PHONE. 😧

I know you guys are absolutely losing your marbles. But I’ve got something that’s gonna rip this fandom (jegulus fandom in particular im staring at you) apart. Guess. Just guess. 

Do people have feelings too?!?!? WAIT. So they write and have lives? They’re not just waiting all day 24/7 for me to demand a new AU or prompt for them to write or create? WRITERS HAVE JOBS? FAMILIES? KIDS? They cry and smile too? They go through trauma and happiness and all the emotions???? They need breaks??? SDIHFSIEUFBOEFHCNOWEHVOWEVBNWEVOV THIS IS FUCKING BREAKING NEWS RIGHT?!?!🤯

Okay for those of you who cannot breathe right now, it’s okay, I know this information is a lot. You’re stupidity will pass I promise. Let me rub your back with your consent (consent what's that???) as we take deep breaths together. 

Alrighty assholes, stop fucking breathing im tired of rubbing your fucking back. As soon as this fandom got bigger (jegulus fandom), people started acting like it was commissioned writing. “You tell me and I’ll write word for word.” 

I think we’re having some trouble comprehending this. Let’s break it down with an example shall we? 

Fay (she/her) had just joined the marauders fandom after being kicked out of the Star Wars fandom for god knows what. She’s a perfect little angel, isn’t she? So Fay decided to explore the marauders corner of ao3. Suddenly, she doesn’t find the specific “Star Wars au, wolfstar, hurt no comfort, no guns or physical/emotional pain allowed” fic. What a tragedy!! So Fay decided, “you know what? let’s harass ASK my favorite wolfstar author until they write my fic!!”

If you’re like Fay, SHUT THE FUCK UP.

I WILL EXPLAIN THIS ONCE AND ONCE ALONE.

Authors are not puppets. Authors are not puppets. Authors are not puppets. Authors are not puppets. 

I HAD TO SAY IT 4 FUCKING TIMES BECAUSE CLEARLY IT GOES IN ONE EAR AND WRIGGLES ITS SLIMLY LITTLE ASS OUT THE OTHER EAR

If you haven’t noticed or it hasn’t gone through your pea-sized brain yet, this is a hobby for writers. HOBBY. 

(Noun) “an activity done regularly in one's leisure time for pleasure.”

and if you’re really stupid here’s an example, "her hobbies are reading and gardening.”

OMG look, you learned a new word!!! Congrats!! auggie is so proud of you. 🥳🥰😝🥰🤪😘🤪

 But can we handle one more word? Let’s try.

“A fanfiction is a story created by someone who earns no money* and still share it with the community.”

Why don’t we try summarizing what we learned today?

NO MONEY = FREE

HOBBY = SOMETHING YOU DO FOR FUN

AUTHORS = PEOPLE WITH FEELINGS = NOT PUPPETS

If this lesson was hard for you to understand, honey you are the problem. I’ll be back to run your asses through the fire again later!

Notes:

Technically there’s a fine line when it comes to “kicking out of a fandom”. It’s a very broad term. I know some people will come at me with your little questions and what not. In a fandom you cannot necessarily be “kicked out”. Yes you may be blocked but other members cannot just take away your internet access or interest and stop you from enjoying it? I mean it more as a general statement, as a whole. If you’re getting “kicked out” for valid reasons you fucked up bro, not the fandom.

AND I know absolutely nothing about the Star Wars fandom, so don’t ask me random questions I don’t have opinionated or hc answers to.

**I’m not getting into the money shit with you guys because that’s a fucking hole I would never want to die in so as a general statement for our purposes, most of the fanfiction authors earn no money for their creative talents*

[steinfellds]

angst i hear you ask ? OK !! so i was thinking some enemies to lovers (angst with a happy ending cause i cannot handle sad endings rn) and maybe nat really doesn’t like reader because they(/she if you make your x readers fem) hang out with another male avenger and she thinks they are dating and so every chance she gets it’s just a lot of hatred until nat admits that she’s in love with reader or something and then readers like ‘no nat, *insert avenger* and i are not dating — i like you too’ and they run off into the sunset and stuff !!

Other Avenger

Pairing: Natasha x gn!Reader

2.6K Words

/ masterlist / / n.r masterlist /

You and Bucky were cuddled up on the couch together as you attempted to teach him how to play Minecraft. The super soldier was quickly becoming frustrated with the game when he died to another creeper blowing him up.

"Bucky, you're actual ass at this game," You commented, laughing when Bucky shoved you softly.

"Shut up," He scoffed, respawning back at his bed in the dirt house that he built.

You laughed again but your laughter quickly died out when you heard the quiet footsteps of Natasha Romanoff.

When you first had joined the team, Natasha had been kind towards you. Always offering help you train, teaching you how to do new things, and basically, she was one of the first people you had come somewhat close to. Though that all changed one day and she had always been cold and cruel towards you.

You tried to not let it bother you too much but you had a massive crush on her so it was difficult to try to act unbothered whenever she was mean to you.

Luckily, you had been hanging out with Bucky a lot before she stopped talking to you so you had another person who lived in the compound that you could hang out with.

You and Bucky turned to the door of the lounge room to look at Natasha.

"Training is in 5 minutes, Y/l/n," Natasha said, annoyance clear in her voice.

You frowned. Training was normally at 12pm but it was 10am.

"It's 10am, Natasha," You told her, narrowing your eyes slightly when she rolled her eyes.

"I'm aware. If you actually read things I sent you instead of playing this stupid video game then you would be aware we are training early because we have a meeting with Fury at 1:30pm which would overlap with our training." Natasha explained like she was talking to a little kid who didn't understand something.

You rolled your eyes in annoyance and quickly glanced down at your phone that sat next to you. You indeed had 2 unread messages from Natasha that were sent 2 hours ago. Had you really been playing with Bucky for that long?

"Okay, whatever, Romanoff." You said, waving your hand in a way like you were dismissing her.

You heard Natasha scoff before her footsteps walked away from you.

You sighed and turned back to the TV. You paused the game and then turned to Bucky who gave you a sad look.

"She's a bitch sometimes," You muttered, standing up from the couch.

Bucky smiled sadly, "We will continue this after the meeting, yeah?" You forgot Bucky had running training with Steve which would normally go for 2 hours so he wouldn't be available when you came back from training with Natasha.

You nodded and went to your room to get into your training gear.

-

You let out a loud groan when Natasha flipped you on your back for the 6th time.

"Fucking hell," You glared at Natasha which caused a small smirk to break across her lips.

"You haven't been fighting your best today," Natasha said, rolling her eyes when you dramatically stood up "Or at all this week."

You scoffed, "Yeah, well, maybe if you stopped trying to snap my spine every time you threw me to the ground maybe I could fight better."

Natasha chuckled dryly, "I doubt you could."

"Oh, shut up," You went to punch her but she quickly grabbed your arm and twisted it behind your back.

You winced when she pushed it into a painful position.

"Your punches are sloppy too," She commented, releasing you when you tapped her thigh 2 times, signaling for her to let you go.

You rubbed your arm and mumbled softly about Natasha being a bitch.

"Training's over. Go get ready for the meeting with Fury, which is in 30 minutes," Natasha said, walking off the mat to get a drink of water.

You rolled your eyes and walked out of the gym, figuring you could get a drink of water after you got out of the shower because if you spent one more minute with Natasha you would go insane.

-

You quickly ran down the halls to get to the meeting room. You were 6 minutes late and you knew Fury would be up your ass about it, and Natasha would most definitely have something to say.

You pushed the door to the meeting room open with more force than intended causing it to make a loud noise. Everybody's attention was drawn to you.

"Finally, they decide to show up," Natasha rolled her eyes at you.

"Uh, sorry, I'm late," You apologised, not giving a snarky remark back to Natasha. You walked over and sat quickly next to Bucky.

Fury grumbled something about being on time next time before starting to explain why he called the meeting.

"We believe at HYDRA has taken some very valuable information so I need Steve, Bucky, Tony, Wanda, and Sam to go to the HYDRA base to retrieve the information." Fury explained, "Y/n and Natasha, I don't need you two on this mission so I want you both to stay here."

Your mouth fell open. You and Natasha had to stay in the compound together while all the other Avengers (who weren't already assigned on a mission or staying somewhere else) went on a mission?!

You opened your mouth to argue about how unfair it was to stay with Natasha while everybody else was out but Natasha quickly nodded her head and muttered out a quick okay. You closed your mouth and swallowed down your argument, turning your attention back to Fury so he could continue explaining the rest of the mission to the team. If Natasha wasn't going to say anything about it, neither would you.

-

You flopped down on Bucky's bed with a huff. Fury said they needed to retrieve the information or confirm that HYDRA didn't have the information so Bucky could be away for days.

You turned your head to face Bucky as he started packing his mission gear together.

"This is so stupid," You complained, kicking your legs out when Bucky walked past the bed in a playful attempt to kick him.

Bucky chuckled softly, "I find it so strange that you have a crush on Natasha, and when you finally get the chance to be together alone, you don't want to."

You sat up and narrowed your eyes at Bucky. "Lower your voice! I don't need anybody finding out I like the girl that hates me." You were honestly surprised people didn't know about your crush on Natasha with how loud Bucky would talk about it.

Bucky shook his head with a laugh, "Yeah, yeah. Get out of my room so I can get some sleep before I leave." Bucky grabbed your ankle and pulled you off the bed, causing you to let out a loud laugh.

A knock on Bucky's door caused you both to look over. Natasha stood there with a look on her face that you couldn't recognise. "Steve just wanted me to tell you that you'll be leaving a couple hours earlier than planned, Bucky. So I suggest leaving him to sleep, Y/n." Natasha shot you a mean look before turning on her heels and walking away.

God, this was going to be hell with her.

-

When you woke up Bucky and everybody else had left hours ago, leaving you with Natasha. You wanted to try to avoid her but you also wanted to be as close as possible to her.

You were reading a book when Natasha walked into your room holding a bag from your favourite sushi store. You hadn't seen her the entire day so it surprised you that she bought you food.

You raised a brow at her and closed your book, "And what do I need to do to eat that?" You asked her, eyeing the bag carefully.

"Nothing. You haven't eaten all day and you need to eat," Natasha said, rolling her eyes when you didn't move from your spot on the bed.

"Did you poison it?" You half-jokingly asked. If she were going to kill you, doing it with nobody else around would be smart.

"Oh, yeah, totally poisoned it. Now get up before it gets warm," Natasha sarcastically said, walking away from your door in the direction of the kitchen.

You threw the book on your bed and quickly ran out of your room to follow Natasha. You weren't entirely sure why Natasha bought you food, she's never done that before.

When you entered the kitchen, you saw that Natasha had placed your food on the counter of the kitchen and was leaning over the counter opposite where your food was. You cautiously walked over and sat on the chair. Natasha watched you like a hawk before turning around and pulling out ingredients to make a sandwich.

It felt nice how you and Natasha were together. No arguing, no chaos going on between you two. It was nice.

You both sat in silence and ate your food. The only sound being your breathing and chewing.

You knew it probably wasn't a great idea, but Natasha seemed to be in a relatively good mood and you wanted to ask the question about why she stopped talking to you and started to hate you so much. The question has been bugging you for over a year and you wanted to find out why.

You swallowed down the food you had finished chewing and looked at Natasha. Natasha noticed you look at her and looked back at you dead in the eyes. You never realised how pretty her eyes were until now. It had beautiful colours of different shades of green in it.

Natasha frowned when you didn't say anything and kept staring at her. "You alright, Y/n?" She asked, finishing a bite of her sandwich.

Her voice quickly snapped you out of your thoughts. "Why do you hate me so much?" You asked her, slightly regretting your words when you noticed her face hardened.

Natasha stood up straight and threw the rest of her uneaten sandwich in the bin. She went to leave the kitchen but you quickly leaned over the kitchen counter and grabbed ahold of her wrist, stopping her from going anywhere.

Natasha glared down at you - a warning for you to let go - but you didn't. You loosened your grasp slightly but kept your hand on her wrist.

"I'm serious, Nat, did I do something back then?" You asked, desperate for an answer.

Natasha was silent for a moment before answering, "No."

"Then why do you hate me? I was nothing but kind to you and then one day you just started ignoring me! It isn't fair that I don't know why you started doing that."

Natasha shook her head and ripped her wrist out of your hold. "It doesn't matter, Y/n. Just go back to your boyfriend's room and leave me alone," Natasha muttered softly before leaving the kitchen.

You sat there in shock after your brain registered what she said. She didn't think you and Bucky were dating right? Was that why she hates you? Ideas of why she hated you swarmed around your head until it finally clicked. Natasha had a crush on Bucky and was upset with you because you were spending more time with him.

It did hurt that Natasha had a crush on Bucky but you didn't want to let it bother you too much.

You stood and followed Natasha back to her room. When you arrived her door was shut. You lifted your hand to her door and knocked softly, hoping she would open it so you could explain you weren't dating Bucky.

For a couple seconds Natasha didn't open the door and you were about to walk away, but the door cracked open slowly and you could just see one of Natasha's eyes poking out of the door.

"Nat- Can I come in, or can you come out? I want to explain some things and hopefully, it can clear up some of our hatred."

To your surprise, Natasha opened the door fully and let you walk inside her room. Her room was plain and had a couple photos of her and Yelena (you had only met the blonde once but she was super kind to you).

Natasha walked over to her bed and sat down. You walked over to her but didn't sit on the bed, unsure if she was comfortable with that.

"What did you mean by 'your boyfriend's room'? You don't think me and Bucky are dating do you?"

Natasha shrugged, "I mean, it's pretty obvious you two are dating- you're always hanging out together and stuff, but even if you were dating I don't care." Natasha's voice seemed higher when she spoke.

You let out a light laugh. "You seriously think we're dating? Nat, we are just best friends, nothing more than that."

Natasha seemed to relax at that information.

"You should have told me you had a crush on Bucky. I could help you two get together if that's what you want," You offered, giving Natasha a small smile.

Natasha frowned, "I don't like Bucky. I'm lesbian, Y/n."

You raised a brow in surprise. You didn't know Natasha was a lesbian. She did give off gay vibes but you didn't want to assume and you never asked because you didn't want to make her uncomfortable with the question.

"Wait, so, why do you hate me then?" You asked, completely confused by the whole reason now.

Natasha bit her lip and looked away from you. "It's stupid and doesn't matter," She mumbled softly.

You moved closer to her but didn't sit on her bed. "Nat, everything you say matters, and I just need to know what I did to make you so mad at me."

Natasha shrugged and sat on her bed in silence. She looked like she was fighting a war in her head, torn by some decision.

You stood there in silence, ready to wait for however long you needed to until Natasha decided to tell you.

After a couple minutes of silence, she finally looked at you. "I was mad at you because I thought you were dating Bucky."

"But you don't like Bucky? Why were you mad?"

Natasha breathed in deeply and sighed. "Because- because I like you, Y/n. I got frustrated when you were hanging out with Bucky because I wanted to go out with you and I thought you were dating him."

You went silent. The thought of Natasha liking you never crossed your mind and you thought it was a one-sided love thing. You never thought your feelings for her were mutual.

Natasha sighed and wiped at her eyes. "I know you don't like me back so I told you why I hated you so can you just leave, please?"

You frowned and shook your head. "Who said I didn't like you back?"

"The silence did."

You laughed softly, "I've liked you for the longest time and I didn't think the feeling was mutual so I guess I'm just kinda shocked, that's all."

Natasha looked at you with hope in her eyes, "Really?"

You nodded, "I was just scared to admit my feelings because you made it very clear you hated me."

A wide smile spread across Natasha's lips, "That's great, uh- did you maybe wanna go on a date to the cafe down the road?" Natasha's voice was full of nervousness.

You nodded with a grin, "That'd be perfect."

Maybe a day with just Natasha wasn't as bad as you thought it was.

[honey-lemonz]

Kokushibou [Satisfied smut]

Xmale reader

3rd

Warning! Sexual Content!

Includes: stress sex, fight then fuck, koku being a bratty bottom, biting,blowjob, marking, multiple orgasms ,multiple rounds, over stimulation,  dirty talk, fighting during sex, degradation (heavly). Hiding, slapping, spitng, and a spite fuck. Goodness..Enjoy!

Kokushibou pushed the archer against the wall as both were fighting.

For almost 7 hours.

(M/n) or the archer was happily living on his land and was fine but. The dam fake Samurai had other plans to upset that. Like attacking him. Gods they hated each other..

To the point it was not comical.. no no.

Sexual almost.

Two strong men grunting and groaning, one with blood all over him..for being the one with more hits. Sweat on their bodies and one with his hair arrayed. Kokushibou was losing it.

Internally and externally.

Internally he could not understand why he was feeling slightly aroused in battle, especially with this fucker. The archer demon named Yasumebu (M/n). A demon he hates because he reminds him of his late twin.

Someone who is superior and most likely would be superior to him.

He felt his cock trying to poke in his hakama pants. His kimono was sticking to the sides on his body as he was forced on to the ground. Yasumebe was about to prepare an arrow until..

Kokushibou moved his leg to reveal he was aroused but no on purpose or on invitation. But (m/n) was the only other demon around who could have done this to him. To him it was weird. He froze the arrow and squinted at the Samurai.

He but his foot on Kokushibou's growing hard on and moved it without any sign of being gently. 

Kokushibou groaned and hissed at him. About half of his eyes, the three on the left pinched shut. It was not out of pain but only pleasure. This made Yasumebe..disgusted to say the least.

But also he wanted to kill the upper rank for what he had done...but torture is always a better cause.

"Look at you..you pervert. Getting aroused with me in a fight you picked..how promiscuous..really are that much of a bastard you need a dick in you to make you feel whole?"

He moved his foot more vigorously, it made the upper rank squeak but not moan. No! He will never get any sign of pleasure from him. "I-I am not, aany an c-can get aroused. Never for oor from you-"

"Oh cut the bullshit you bastard. You attack me in my home and demand I die so you an be the best? Or is it jealousy? Jealous of me to the point you want me to fuck you? Make you a proud man with my cock stuffed into all your slutty holes?"

Kokushibou's six eyes widen. He dropped his sword from the feeling. What feeling is this? He asked himself. Demons cannot blush or anything but he could feel his ears burn and his cock ache and throb.

He hated him to the point it turned him on? Is that possible? No.

He hated Yoriichi but they were brothers and that is just wrong...but this dam archer..

Before he realized his mistake of thinking to deep, he got an arrow into his wrist and an arrow shot his sword far away from him.

"Well took you too long to answer the question so it is a yes, isn't it? Gods, I hate you but I always give whores like you a chance. By now you'd probably be satisfied sucking a cock and dying. The great upper rank one? Such a fucking slut.."

The arrow glued his wrist together so he could not move em, he could make another sword but he had to concentrate to do that.  He needed his full energy to do it but his energy was focused on..him..the archer and how he needed t̶o̶ ̶k̶i̶l̶l̶ him.

The archer pulled Kokushibou by his hair next to a stool, he was gracious or caring about it.  He hated him and as did he.

But goodness did he remember how they fought. How strong he looked and how much strength it goes into an arrow. Not that he thought the sport was worth this time, oh never. But him...it made his condition worse. His cock was probably leaking streams of precum.

"Must you fight, I am helping you. Trust me I do not want a whore like you anyways, a good one can shut up and take it..you..most likely are a brat or bitch about it.."

Kokushibou hearing this moved his combined wrist up to scratch the shit out of his arms like a fucking cat.

"Goodness if you want to mark me already! Dam, such a needy bastard...beat how many times you sucked your masters cock all these years...most likely didn't make you choke or gag for the hell of it..but now worries like defeat and death.."

He brought his up to his face. Both were around the same height, so it worked. But Kokushibou was now on a bedding and he was looking up at him. So he felt smaller. He hated it. But it aroused him.

Hate what pleasures you. But between you and I..is not the first he gotten aroused at the thought..

"I make sure to be the one to make it your first.. now if you bite he I cut you cock off too. Got it?"

Hell to Yasumebe it was an excuse to just make him feel a better or worse pain.

"Tsk, as ever I would do as you ask yo-"

He got fucking bitched slapped in the face. "Now I'm going to say this again. You were the one who got to be a perv right? You can suck your masters cock for all of eternity then you can suck a real mans one and not a cowards. Something you need to do. Bite me and you can burn in the sun with my cum all over and inside you. Now be a good brat and suck."

He stood above him with a tight grip on his head and hair. (M/n)'s own cock was out and the marvel it was had the upper rank's mouth salivating.

He just stared at it, like it was something new to him. "What you never seen another mans dick before? Always ready to ride and suck one for you life, so be the slutty brat you are and do what you know best. Go one you need help is my cock to big for your mouth? The one you use to pledge and talk shit? "

In his head he muttered, probably eat it too.

Kokushibou opened his mouth to rebuttal..dumb move. A thick and long length was shoved down deep into his throat. Making his gag on spit and the length. H opened his lower eyes to see not even all of it was in his mouth. The hell?

(M/n) hissed and moved his hips back and forth, he was fucking his face. "Good little slut, do what you know best bastard. Then maybe I can fuck your other hole, maybe even be nice and let you cum.:

Kokushibou groaned on his cock and moved tied wrist to get a grip and move on his own accord, but no avail. His own cock was in need of help. His mind was erasing with how much pleasure would come if he would get fucked like a whore.

Which he is.

His tongue lapped at the lip and it moved in and out his throat. He was pumping his cock with his hands at the same momentum. So feverish and so tempting, it make slick warm between his thighs. His ass flexed at the homewreacking feeling.

His large cock pushing in and out of his made him close two sets of his eyes and let where his true ones stay open. (M/n) hissed and pushed his head all the way to the hilt of his cock and made his stay there. Groaning as Kokushibou's mouth filled with an ocean of cum he swallowed.

The taste wasn't as bad as he imagined. His cock spurted some ropes of cum but he knew with how his luck was playing it would not be the first time tonight. He was allowed to breathe and swallow the rest. 

(M/n) looked down at him, his eyes were glossy and he was gasping for air.."Goodness you really are that bad.."

Kokushibou didn't care about his pride or his will, or even the envy. He felt hatred and pleasure. He needed to feel more, it was so addicting. It was like a slow burn he loved. The fire in the pit of his stomach burned for more. To be full , imagining that amount of cum stuffing his tight entrance or making his abdomen bulge..

To be breeded like a mating whore for him..

(M/n) pushed the Samurai to the side of the bedding and for him to be on his front. Ass up, he pulled the rest of his clothing off him. He would often scratch him or put marks he knew he could heal over..if he was concentrated enough.

His plump ass had goosebumps as his breath glazed across it. No kissing rather biting. He bite down on his ass. "For such a plump ass, you and kiss a lot of it aye? Sluts like you can be so troublesome but in the end.."

H sat up and got close to Kokushibou's ear. He moved his already messy and disheveled hair. His lapped his ear lobe and bite down to make it bleed.

"All of you are just bratty whores who need to be taught their place..." Two fingers were pushed into his slicked up entrance and they clung onto (M/n)'s fingers like glue. Kokushibou moaned out curses as he slumped down. He turned his head to the side to he the rest of his.

It felt too dam good. His fingers were so close to his prostate and so close to making his mind wipe to pure ecstasy and pleasure, even if he wasn't at it already. He moaned out without a care in the world. Asking no begging for more. It made (m/n) want to torture him more..

They did hate each other, but to one it was just funny.

"M-more, please fuck me more gods..please..fu-fu~ck.." he cursed as he spread his legs wider to make his fingers go deeper to touch or even at least brush his prostate.

His eyes were closed except the true ones, the only one he could keep open. Upper rank one was glossy and also looked like a bunch of whores eyes. He bucked his hips when his own forgotten and needy cock was slowly getting pumped.

"Wait- WAI- no ahh~" As soon as he pumped his length and pushed deeper into his hole, feeling for his prostate. He came again onto the bedding. He gasped loudly and slumped over. Kokushibou's cock twitched but was still erect.

"Well, what was it you were saying bastard? Or were you too busy cumming like a little whore to even finish? Hmm well it guess my cock can satisfy your perverted self, disgusting."

He spat on his gasping hole and moved his fingers out. The amount of slick or cum on his fingers made him laugh at the pathetic state of the upper rank. "Wow, such a slut for all this? Wonder how easy it is to break your ass and see you go silly."

He yanked almost his hips back up to his waist, Kokushibou swallowed thickly at what was about to happen. (M/n) stroke himself and placed the tip of his cock on Kokushibou's gaping whole.

"One more thing pervert.."

He leaned forward to upper rank one, Kokushibou felt his chilling breath on his ear. All his eyes widen as his cock slowly pushed into him. 

He whispered:

"I win slut.."

He slammed his cock into him, pushing harshly onto his prostate and making the upper rank yelp and moan loudly. He almost screamed, (M/n) gave him no time to adjust. Rather he fucked him ruthlessly. He used his hair and yanked it, making him look at the ceiling and also to feel himself hit deeper and deeper.

Kokusibou was babbling about more and more. Or how he hated him. Just either 'fuck me' or 'i hate you'. The archer demon did not care. He was a slutty pervert who got what he wanted. A good cock with a good fuck.

"Such a tight- little slutty whole..gods, im going to loosen it up for you and make sure no one couuld fuck you like I- ah~could..you'd like that Kokushibou? To be a slut and ask others to fill you with their cocks like I do?"

He thrusted faster and harder, Kokushibo's prostate was abused and he felt himself cum again and again. Due to his unlimited stamina and would be fine. But he was feeling drained, he felt so fucking stupid. He was getting fucked stupid even more.

(M/n) hissed when Kokushibou tightened around him, he groaned and growled as he shot thick ropes of cum into his ass. Filling him over his opacity and making his abdomen stretch to accommodate to the amount. 

All his eyes, closed with tear stains. Kokushibo's head was let go and he fell straight into the bedding. (M/n) looked at him and didn't bat an eye to spit on his face. His lower half was with filled with cum or covered in it. He cleaned himself and took his arrow out of his wrist and gathered the rest.

He looked one more time at the upper rank. The most feared of them all, looking like a slut in heat. He pulled the hair that would have been a neat pony tail but now is just out and disheveled. He made him look him in his eye.

"See now upper rank? Such a pathetic fighter and warrior, you did do one thing. Your were a decent fuck, not the best but decent." he patted his head and walked out the destroyed house.

Soon it was lit on fire. To destroy what ever was left.

Kokushibou luckily got away and out of the suns fury. But he did hate the archer demon with all he had, and envy him so much. But fuck... he sighed as he stroked his cock from the memory.

"He was right.."

His licked away the cum from his ass as he pulled away his fingers and from his hand. His cock throbbed at the dull feeling. The lackluster feeling inside him only his enemy gave him.

"I am such a whore for yasumebe.."

[seiyasabi]

A Farmer Boy’s Crush

(This is a Yandere Ushijima x Female Reader story! I’m sorry in advance, because I think this man is scary ;(( Also, there will be no part two of this, and I’m sorry if it sucks lol.

TW: !Noncon!, Stalker Ushi!, Size kink!, Cumflation!, Spanking!, Dacryphilia?, Choking!, Breeding Kink!, Cockwarming, Threatening behaviour!, etc.. 

Please proceed with caution!)

“I’m sorry, Ushijima-san, but I’m not interested in you. I’m focusing on my career, so I don’t have time for a relationship.”

It started when you were in highschool. 

The volleyball player confessed to you on Valentines Day, equipped with handmade chocolates and roses from his Mother’s garden. At the time, you had no interest in boys. You were way too focused on your future career, viewing a significant other as a distraction. Ushijima, to his credit, didn’t lose his temper when you turned him down. He nodded, silently stalking off to the gym, his posture perfectly straight. 

You’d brushed the entire event off, feeling guilty for turning him down so nonchalantly, but also standing your ground. The large man has a harem of girls, and you were sure he’d find a girlfriend that would treat him right. 

But, what you didn’t know, was that all he wanted was you. He could never go for another girl, because you’re one of a kind. 

He loves how you pick weeds out of the pavement, loves how you help old people bring their groceries to their car, loves how you’re YOU. 

So, in his spare time (aka, when he’s not playing volleyball), he watches you. He’d followed you home one day, and he spotted you through your curtainless window. 

That’s how it started; watching. 

But watching wasn’t enough.

Soon, he’d break into your home, snagging a worn t-shirt or panties, a chapstick on your desk, a polaroid you recently took, etc.. Once in his possession, he’d stalk off home at a leisure pace. Ushijima would then place the item in the shrine in his closet, relishing the new item in his collection. 

This went on for years, up until today. Today, he’d had enough. He’d heard from your friends on campus that you’d scored a date with a boy named ‘Kane,’ causing the large man to drive like a mad man in the direction of your home. 

Seeing you from your room’s curtainless window, his nose flares in anger. You’re in a cute cherry patterned dress, (applying makeup/doing your skincare routine) in your vanity table’s mirror. 

Stomping up your concrete front stairs, he grabs the hidden key in your potted plant outside, and slips inside. Wakatoshi makes his way up your house’s steps, creeping towards your closed door. He can hear music playing, most likely from your phone, and can see your shadow moving from underneath your door. 

Grasping your metal door handle, he steps inside your air freshener infused room. His presence startles you, and he can’t help but feel pleasure at the look of shock on your face. 

“Ushijima-san? What the hell are you doing-?” His large hand grips your throat, dragging you to your lilac coloured sheets. The olive haired man forces you onto your mattress, large body stradling your smaller form. Your weak attempt at freeing yourself is heartwarming, your spluttering and hits seem kitten-like. 

“Why would you go to someone else?” You try to respond, but are unable to, his ministrations not allowing you to breathe. Noticing this, he releases his vice-like grip, merely hovering his calloused hand over your throat. 

“What-” Your voice cracks, causing you to clear your throat, as tears drip down your pretty face, “What are you talking about? Why are you in my house?” 

He ignores your questions, steely gaze glaring down at you, “Kane cannot provide for you. I have a stable income, he does not. I have my own home, he does not. He has no redeemable qualities. I cannot understand why you would wish to date him, when I am already in the picture.”

You start to sob pathetically, not understanding why your scary ex-classmate is assaulting you verbally and physically, “Ushijima, I don’t understand what you’re talking about! I haven’t spoken to you for years-”

His grip around your throat tightens once more, as he speaks through gritted teeth, “We may not have spoken, but I’ve kept a close eye on you. What happened to you ‘focusing on your career?’ You were such a good, hardworking girl until this point, but now you’re suddenly whoring yourself out to an unimpressive boy. Let me show you who you belong to, (Your Name), because it seems that you’ve forgotten.”

 Smacking at his muscular arms, you try to struggle out of his grip. Wakatoshi’s thick fingers tug at the zipper on the side of your dress, slipping it open with ease. He slides the thin straps off of your shoulders, forcing the straps up over your hands, and sliding the entire garment off of you. You’re left in your unmatching strapless bra and panties. He hums in delight at the sight; this must mean that you weren’t going to open your legs for that boy. 

“You look beautiful,” He releases his grip just enough for you to breathe with ease, before ragdolling you over his muscular thigh. Your cute ass is on display to the olive haired man, his warm palm ghosting over the fat, “It’s a shame that I must put you in your place.”

Without warning, he slams his hand down, all whilst his free one covers your mouth. A scream rips from your throat, only to be muffled by your ex-classmate. Raising his previously used hand, he spanks you once more, the skin on your ass feeling like it’s on fire. 

“I’m going to spank you twenty-five times, don’t try to struggle. If you do, I’ll increase it to fifty,” All you can do is sob in response, causing the large man to continue his assault. The ex-volleyball player doesn’t hold back in the slightest, bruising your ass down to the muscle. By the time he’s finished, your entire body is shaking, face slick with snot and tears. Ushijima can’t help but grow hard at your pain fueled expression. You’re just too cute, “Good. Now, let me reward you for your behaviour.”

You shake your head no, muffled pleas of ‘stop’ just barely heard. Your ex-classmate refuses to acknowledge your words, instead pulling your bruising ass against his hard cock. He unbuttons his trousers, pulling out his long, thick cock. It slaps against your bare stomach, as Ushijima shucks your panties and bra off of your body, exposing you fully to him. Removing his hand from your mouth, you’re finally able to speak as he gropes the fat of your tits, “Please stop! Don’t do this! I’m sorry that I refused you in highschool! Why don’t we go on a date right now? I-if we do that, then we can wait-” 

“Shh, there’s no need to panic. We can go to dinner after this; I’ve waited too long for this,” Long fingers reach down to play with your clit, rubbing and squeezing the bundle of nerves with two fingers. His ring finger dips into your opening, forcing your dry walls open. 

“Ushijima, please-”

“Call me Wakatoshi. We’re dating, afterall,” forcing his finger in and out whilst rubbing your clit, making your walls slick without your consent. 

“Wakatoshi-” He removes his finger from inside of you, before quickly replacing it with the tip of his red, precum slicked cock. Without warning, he slips inside, spearing you open painfully. A loud yelp leaves your lips, as more tears drip down your face, “Take it out! Take it out! It hurts so bad!” 

He relishes the way your slightly moistened walls knead him, practically sucking him in. He rubs your clit with quick, small circles, trying to help you accommodate his size. This, in turn, allows his wrist to lay against your tummy, feeling the way your tummy distends with his cock. 

“You’re so tight. I always knew you were perfect for me,” He starts to bounce you on his prick, making it feel like your pussy was being ripped from your body. A small scream leaves your lips at the feeling, only for you to be silenced by a heated kiss. Waka’s body curls into your own, forcing you further onto his cock, and making it even harder for you to get off of him. 

He bucks up into you like a mad man, fucking you on his length at top speed. The pain you previously felt slowly turns into pleasure, as the pressure on your clit increases. A few small moans escape your mouth into his, as he swallows them whole. 

Wakatoshi lightly smacks your clit, making your eyes roll to the back of your head in pleasure. He releases you from the kiss, choosing instead to suck hickies onto your lolling neck. He grunts at the feeling of you tightening with an oncoming orgasm, as he rubs your clit as hard and fast as he can. 

“Cum for me, cum right now. Let your womb swallow my seed, (Your Name), it’s clear that you need my baby to set you straight,” More tears drip down your face as you try to stop yourself from cumming. 

“No! I don’t want a baby!” Waka doesn’t respond, only slapping your clit one last time. A strangled scream erupts from your throat, as you squirt all over him and your light coloured sheets. The force almost knocks him out of you, but he presses you down completely on his cock, allowing him to cum directly against your unprotected cervix. 

Your body shakes with your sobs as you wrap yourself with your arms, and you try to get off of him. Wakatoshi wraps you in a constricting hug, keeping you completely enveloped by his large frame. 

“You’re such a good girl for me, (Your Name). Now, let’s get you home, you clearly can’t be independent. Just rely on me, and I’ll keep you well fed and happy.”

You shake your head no, trying to escape his arms, but it’s no use. He’s so much bigger and stronger than you, making it virtually impossible for you to escape. 

Grabbing your blanket, he wraps you with it, before standing to his feet. His cock is still inside of you, as he walks out of your house, and towards his parked Kei truck. He opens the door, and slips inside, you still cockwarming him. He sets a hand on your distended, cumfilled belly, and sighs in content. 

“Everything will be alright. Let’s get back to the farm, and I’ll make you a nutritious meal. After all, you need to be strong for our growing baby.” 

[mvttsvn]

Good Little, Liar

Literal sadist😳Toji Fushiguro x bratty fem!reader

warnings: 18+ smut, ABSOLUTE FILTH,  cussing, reader is a masochist, dacryphilia, manhandling, choking, pain kink, daddy kink, impact play, degrading pet names “whore, slut”, use of “princess”, Toji threatens to kill you like once👩🏻‍🦯, no prep, mentions of blood, stomach bulge, size kink, mind break, dumbification, no aftercare :/, angsty at the end.

authors note: 2k words, UNEDITED holy fuck this was supposed to be a short drabble but I got carried away. this is completely self indulgent, it so nasty literally how did I even think of this??? I cannot get this shitty ass dad out of my head... literally just ib this one pic🤒

You convinced him alright. Convinced him so much that he whole heartedly believed he picked up and took home a totally different person tonight. You and Toji and been together a couple of times prior, nothing too serious, went out for a drink, maybe kissed, probably rode him in his backseat. Each and every time you put on your good girl façade, always so sweet, and submissive. Following his each every command. Taking exactly what he gives and thanking him for it every time.

He thought you were sent from the gods, how could he have found someone like you, who fit just perfect under his thumb, so willing to do anything just for his attention. Yet here you were, same pretty little girl, same pretty little face, telling him “no” ???.

You were straddling his lap, on his rough leather couch, the tv lowly played a old movie which by now has left both of your minds. The dim light from the kitchen buzzing due to the bulbs starting to burn out, which completely unfazed Toji, but left you slightly annoyed.

“No?” He scoffed.

You adjusted your hands to fit onto his built shoulders had his began gripping you hips tighter and tighter.

“Nope, I don’t want my jaw to hurt in the morning” you gave him a coy smile, while tilting your head down to stare at him through your lashes.

His right hand came up and  roughly gripping your jaw. “Does it look like I fucking care?” He practically growled in your face. In all honesty he was more confused than pissed, of course he was going to immediately put you in your place, but you had him genuinely concerned, we’re you always like this? Did he do something wrong?? You tried to shake you head but due to his grip you could only move so far.

“Now, on. your. knees.” He released his grip only for his hand to move to the back of you neck waiting for you to comply. You slowly leaned in kissing the scar on his lip to kiss down to his jaw then leaning back up to whisper two little words that could make or break your night, probably both.

“Make me”

the millisecond your breathy whisper hit his ear it was over, you were done for. Say goodbye to you legs you’re probably never walking again.

The force in which he pulled you hair made you shriek. He stood up tossing you over his shoulder furiously stomping into the bedroom. He threw you onto his mattress, you couldn’t help but giggle, this is exactly what you wanted it only added to his rage. He threw off his shirt, then gripped your ankles pulling you to the edge of the bed. He was immediately on top of you, his knees digging into your calves holding down your legs, has one hand gripped both of your wrists and the other tightly around your throat. You were already breathing hard due to anticipation but now he practically had you life in his hands.

“What the fuck did you do with my good little girl hmm?” His voice darkened by lust.

“I don’t know who your talking about” you laughed again, his grip tightening around your throat.

Before you could make another comment his knee was pushed up between your thighs has the hand holding your wrist bunched your shirt up exposing your bra. He ripped the right strap off  making you choke out a gasp, then he slid the rest of garment out from under you to throw it across the room. Toji mouth immediately on your breast teasing you to no avail.

“M..m..more” you choked out, you were in no right to be making demands but you really wanted to see how angry you could make him. His only reply was catching you nipple on a canine and biting down hard. You almost screamed, you thought he probably wanted to see you bleed.

He continued his teasing, you wanted to keep this game up for longer but your vision was starting to get hazy from the lack of oxygen. You started pawing at his shoulders, while wrapping you legs around his waist, quietly pleading, “I’m.. I’m sorry... T...oji..I’m...” the hand on your throat let go to harshly slap your thigh making you yelp in pain once again.

“That’s not my name. C’mon what is it?”... you met his harsh gaze, maybe just a little longer... “Toj-“ he slapped you across the face. You didn’t make a single sound but the tears pricking your eyes said enough. Lucky for you, Toji’s into that.

He met your lips in a sloppy kiss shoving his tongue down your throat. You tapped his collar bone silently signaling you needed to breathe, once he moved away he removed his pants and helped you wiggled out of yours.

“Who knew you’re such a fucking brat” he slapped your thigh again watching you squirm. His hand hovered over your already drenched cunt, as he starred right into your eyes. The flush on your chest started moving to you face. Why were suddenly getting all worked up now??

“Are you gonna give in already?, gonna be my good little whore again?”, you wanted to answer no again because he looked so hot when he was angry. The words got caught in your throat and all you could do was nod.

He lightly slapped your clit “Hmm need to hear it little girl, tell me who owns you?”

“you do....daddy” you admitted, you tilted your down, you couldn’t meet his eyes.

His calloused palm came up and caressed your jaw leaning in closer. “Are you sorry? Tell daddy your sorry for being such a brat.” He mocked making a fake pout. “M’sorry daddy, j..just wanted to make you angry.”

“I know you did princess...” He reeled his hand back to full on slap your cunt, squirming up the bed you let out a pathetic whine.

He slapped three, four more times now, and the tears started running down your face. He moved to tuck his face in the nape of your neck, leaving deep red bruises as he moved down your torso.

The muscles in his back rippled as he held himself up but the palms of his hands. God he looked so..big... not sure if he would ever explicitly admit the he liked how he overpowered you in almost every single way...but you liked it too.

There was no way you could’ve played you act for any longer, he would’ve choked you out. And would’ve done it with ease since his hand was bigger than your actual face. You knew how dangerous this was, yet still tilled wanted to play fire, but alas here you were once again, bowing to his every command.

“D..d..ddaddy..p..please..”

“Aw there she is” he lifted his face from you chest giving you one of his sickening grins. “I thought he wanted to play the little bitchy brat huh? What happened?” His voice dripping with mockery.

“N..need..you”

“How princess, you know daddy can’t help if you don-“

“please, PLEASE! need daddy’s cock! ….” you were getting impatient now, was this the most he was going to? you expected at lea-.

The scream ripped from you chest was silenced by the strong hand around your throat in a death like grip. He shoved his whole cock inside your tight little cunt, there was no prep not even when you were on the couch, he didn’t he stuff his fingers in your little cunt to stretch you out. You knew he was big, since the time he shoved his entire cock down your throat but feeling it twitch inside you making you feel like your being absolutely split open on Toji’s cock.

He gave a deep throaty chuckle, you knew how much he was enjoying this. New tears pricked from your eyes, wetting your cheeks, he moved his free hand pinching your clit between his fore finger and thumb, watching your eyes roll to the back of your head. The hand on your throat gripped your hair moving so his face was flushed with yours, spatting in your ear, “You don’t cum until I say, understand?” All you could do was whine in response.

“I give you rules for a reason break them and I’ll kill you where you lay.” A threat, empty of not, it had you clenching hard around his dick. You glanced down to where you were connect, to be met with a indescribable bulge in your lower stomach.

Dear god, bless your poor cervix, he hasn’t even started moving yet  and you could feel the intrusion all the same. He started rocking his hips slight against yours, at least he was giving you sometime to adjust, all while staring two lust filled hole into your head as you writhed and whimpered underneath him. He pulled his hips back to pull out but when he’s met with the slightest sign of blood mixed with the milky white arousal coating his dick, he could’ve came right there.

He gripped your hips sinking right back into you making you scream once again. “DA-DADDY..fuck..shit..” the tears running down you face only egged him on.

“So god damn tight, maybe I should never prep you again, if you’re gonna feel like this every time” he groaned. “Such dirty little words, I would’ve punished you if you didn’t already dig yourself a grave”.

The pained moans falling from your lips were music to ears. Profanities fell from his as he continued a rough pace, your tits bouncing with every thrust. He had fucked you completely and utterly dumb, no coherent thought where making their way to you consciousness. Only daddy, Toji, and cock.

You have gotten numb to the pain but right now you were putting all you effort into not focusing on the way his dick was bruising you cervix, trying so hard not to come just from the way his pelvic bone catches your clit. You didn’t realize he was speaking to you till he lightly slapped your cheek. “Aw look at you, you’ve gone all stupid. Too bad, if you played nice I would’ve let you cum by now.” The malice in his voice made you clench around his cock, squeezing more of your arousal on his thighs. “ at least you’re taking me so well.” His breath hitched as his thrust stared getting sloppy.

“Holy fuck, keep squeezing just like that-“ you saw his abs clench, “remember you don’t cum till I say” his eyes flicked right back into yours you nodded, more like messily rolled your head around. “Holy fuck princess...” he was practically already using your cunt like a toy. With a last few harsh thrust he filled you cunt to the brim with hot, thick cum.

The groans falling from his mouth sounded almost angelic. All you could let out was a low whine met with heavy breathing. The sweat dripping down his toned chest shone from the dim light of the lamp on the corner the side table. He pulled out watching his cum drip out of you down to your asshole and onto his dark sheets.

Your body laid motionless barely opening your eyes to see him move away from edge and walk to his discarded pants. Your brain couldn’t even process this as you licked you’re tongue to wet your now dry lips.

Then it dawned that he didn’t let you cum... that fucker. You couldn’t do a single thing about it.

Because here you were unsatisfied, speechless, practically crippled, staring blankly at the ceiling. As he sat and lit a cigarette on the opposite end of the bed.

Notes: I am so sorry. There’s just something about Toji Fushiguro that I just forget how to function correctly. Um I hope you enjoyed! And that I didn’t rot ur brain too much<3

ps: ppp..ppart 2??? fluff???😏

[diaphragmjellyfish]

I Have This... Thing

Not My Gif

So as someone with vaginismus, it’s sometimes frustrating to read fan fiction, specifically smut. Y/N always has sex so easily and with very little foreplay, finishing with no issues. And it’s so great for people who can do that, but it’s not the case for all of us. Some of us can’t have any sort of penetration without pain. Some people can’t finish without toys, or hours of work. Some people will never be able to have penetrative sex. There’s all kinds of people, and there’s all kinds of sex. But not near enough fics featuring Y/N’s with these issues. So I’m going to write some, and feel free to request any issue with any character, and if I don’t know that character, we can collaborate to find a character you like that I do know. 

Paul Lahote x reader smut. 

You had lived in Forks for about 6 months now. You’ve known your new friends here for 5 months. And you’ve been the imprint of Paul Lahote for 3 months. Well, you’ve been his imprint since you guys first locked eyes at La Push when you first hung out with Emily, but he didn’t tell you about the whole werewolf/ imprint thing until 3 months ago. Safe to say it came as a shock. Your friends, the people who had welcomed you so easily, helped you move furniture around, and gave you tours of the new town, were WOLVES. Or engaged to wolves. *cough* Emily *cough*. You had to take a few weeks break from them after they told you. After Sam explained the legends, the lore. After Paul told you that you were basically his soul mate. It’s a lot to take in! 

But you quickly realized that you had grown to love the pack. And now that you knew the big secret, things were easier around them. No more lies about where they had all been. No more avoiding talking about their mysterious injuries that only seemed to last for a couple hours. No more awkwardly dancing around why Paul stared at you constantly and wouldn’t let any other guy get within 6 feet of you without having a rage attack and sprinting into the woods. Things were going good. 

Well… as good as they could be without sex. Yep. You and Paul had been together for 3 months and you have not had sex. You didn’t give each other head. You didn’t take your clothes off around each other. You didn’t even dry hump. And you knew it was your fault. You could tell that Paul was getting nervous about the fact that you wouldn’t let him touch you like that. He would never ask you about it, because he wouldn’t want you to feel pressured or rushed, but you could tell it was on his mind. The little sad smile he would give when you stopped things from going further. The hover of his hands over your ass before landing back on your waist. The way he looked almost guilty after looking at you in a swimsuit or crop top. 

See, vaginismus made relationships difficult. You never had a long term relationship before Paul. You were either too scared to tell partners about it, and just dealt with the excruciating pain, which would lead to resentment and breakups, or you would tell them and they would ghost you. Guys don’t normally go for girls who’s opening line is “Hi! I cannot have sex without crying.” You’d been dilating for almost a year now. It was going okay. Some days hurt more than others. A lot of times, Paul would ask you to hang out when you were in the middle of your physical therapy, and you would have to make up some excuse as to why you couldn't. Too tired. Headache. Stomach bug. He was starting to catch on. 

One day, you guys were hanging out at your apartment watching a movie. You had been making out, but as soon as it started getting slightly heated, you had pulled away and got up to get a drink refill. Paul, having gotten used to the routine, didn’t question you. While you were in the kitchen pouring some more juice, Paul asked “Hey babe? Do you have a charger I can borrow?”

“Yeah it’s in the top drawer of my bedside table,” you haphazardly yelled back. 

You heard him get up and go into your bedroom, rummaging around a little. Then silence. 

“Hey babe?” he said hesitantly. You thought he just couldn’t find the charger, so you began walking towards your room to grab it for him. Once you got to the doorway, you stopped dead in your tracks. Eyes wide. Face bright red. Paul held up the dilator you were currently on, which was about 5 inches long and looked… well let’s be honest. It looked like a dildo. The bottle of lubricant that was also in the drawer didn’t help your case. How the fuck were you supposed to explain yourself? You expected Paul to tease you, make some sex jokes, and maybe try to make out with you again, but he didn’t. He looked absolutely crushed. 

“Do you not want to have sex with me?” He asked, sounding on the verge of tears. 

“What?! Paul, of course I want to have sex with you!”

“Then why this?” he pressed.

“You don’t even know what that’s for. Let me explain,” you pleaded, afraid he was going to lose that infamous temper. You’d never witnessed it before, but you were scared you were about to. 

“I think I have a pretty good guess about what this is for!” He exclaimed, holding it up. “You won’t even let me kiss your neck but you have this that you obviously use when I’m not around. You don’t want to have sex with me. Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“Paul! That’s not true at all!” You were starting to get irritated at his assumptions. “It’s for physical therapy.” 

“Oh, is that what we’re calling orgasms now?” He questioned, exasperated. 

“I’m not talking about orgasms! If you gave me two seconds to explain, you would know that that does not bring me an ounce of pleasure. I hate having to use it.” You started to tear up at this, all the memories of your struggles surging back up. At this, Paul stopped. He looked super confused, but also worried about you. God forbid you shed a tear, Paul would rip the world apart to make you happy again. “Come sit down,” you said, resigned, as you moved to sit on the edge of your bed. Paul, still holding the dilator in his hand, sat down next to you. The silence seemed to last an eternity, but you knew that the longer you went without explaining, the more hurt Paul would feel. 

“I wasn’t lying when I said it was for physical therapy,” you whispered. “I have other ones. All different sizes.” You realized you might not have been helping your case with this. 

“I don’t understand. Why do you need them if you don’t use them to get off?” He looked like a kicked puppy. 

“Well… I have this thing. It’s like… a condition? And I need them so maybe one day I can have sex without any pain.” He still looked wildly confused, and you knew you were going to have to elaborate. “When I first started having sex, it hurt. A lot. But I always heard that it was supposed to hurt the first time. So I just kind of put up with it. It was bad though. I always tapped out, couldn’t go for more than a couple minutes. It felt like this really intense stinging. Like a rugburn all inside me. And it didn’t stop, even after I started doing it more. It never went away… I ended up googling it, and it’s actually something that a lot of women struggle with. I made a doctor’s appointment and was lucky enough to get diagnosed the first time. Lots of women are told they’re making it up. My doctor gave me these dilators, told me how to use them, and said that with enough time and physical therapy, I could have painless sex one day.” When you finished, you turned to look at him. He was staring intently at the dilator, thinking. 

“So, you have to like… stretch yourself? Were you just born too small?” He phrased it delicately, but you knew what he meant. 

“Basically, it’s an anxiety disorder with very physical symptoms. My pelvic floor muscles constrict when I try to put anything inside me, which makes it super painful. It’s like an involuntary reflex. Like blinking when something flies near your face. And I have to condition my body to learn that penetration doesn’t hurt, and that it doesn’t have to tighten up like that. The condition is called vaginismus. You can google it yourself if you want.” 

“Oh.” A pause. Paul knew you had some anxiety, but he never guessed it could cause something like this. He knew you were embarrassed. He could tell. And the last thing he wanted was for you to feel like you couldn’t be open and vulnerable with him. Did you think he would leave you? Or get mad? “Why didn’t you tell me?” Was the question that came out. 

“It’s humiliating. I could tell you were getting antsy about us not having sex, and I guess I didn’t have the heart to tell you that it’s not going to happen anytime soon. This physical therapy, it takes a while. I’ve already been doing it for almost a year, and I still have three sizes after this one.” A tear fell. You wiped it away quickly, hoping he Paul wouldn’t notice, but he did. He moved to wrap his arms around you, putting the dilator back on your nightstand. He embraced you, and the reassurance that he wasn’t going anywhere was more than you could handle. You burst into tears as he pulled you onto his lap and rocked you both, rubbing his hand up and down your back. You guys stayed there until you stopped crying, and then he finally spoke. 

“Y/N, I don’t ever want you to feel like there’s something you can’t tell me. I love you. And yeah, I would love to have sex with you one day, but I’m with you because of who you are. I don’t care if we never do it. You are my person, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you the happiest you can be. This? This thing you think is such a problem? It’s irrelevant to me. To my love for you. And I will be here every step of the way, supporting you, cheering you on, until you don’t want me anymore.” He brought your hand up to his mouth and kissed it. 

“I love you, Paul,” was all you could say. You leaned in and shared the sweetest, most loving kiss either of you had ever experienced. His hand cupped the side of your face, thumb rubbing your cheek. When you pulled away, the tension in the room was gone, replaced with you and Paul’s usual light, fun energy. 

“How do you use them?” He smiled as he asked, nodding his head towards your nightstand where the dilator still rested. “Do you like… just ride them? Or..?” 

You laughed, which made his smile broaden. “It’s not a sexual thing. Basically I put a towel down, cover the dilator in lube, and put it in as far as I can without pain. Then, I just sit there and leave it for like 20 minutes. And then I take it out.” 

“So you just like... do homework while you do it?” His concerned face made you laugh again. 

“You have to make your body associate it with pleasure, so no, I don’t do homework. Normally I’ll watch a funny show or eat some candy or FaceTime you.”

He froze at this. “You do this when we FaceTime?” 

This made you blush and look away from his piercing gaze. “Sometimes. I can stop if it makes you uncomfortable. It’s just a nice distraction.” 

“No, no. I don’t want you to stop. It’s just… can I see you do it?” This question shocked you. Not just the question itself, but the fact that you didn’t hate the idea. You loved kissing Paul. What better way to associate therapy with pleasure than by kissing him while you do it? 

“Are you sure? Like I said, it’s not exactly sexual. Or sexy. Like at all. I literally just sit there.” 

“I know, it’s ok. I want to be able to help you, but if you don’t want to we can just go back to the movie.” 

“I mean I do still have to do it today.” You thought for another second, before jumping up and saying “Okay. Let’s do it.” 

Paul looked happy and excited, but also lost. He didn’t know what to do with his hands, or with his eyes. Did you want him to touch you? Or just watch you? Or just sit in the corner of the room and face the wall? You were spreading a towel across the middle of the bed, and went to untie your sweatpants before looking at him. 

“Guess we haven’t really gotten this far, huh?” alluding to being naked in front of each other. It did make you a little nervous, and nerves equal tight muscles, which means pain. 

“Why don’t you put a blanket over yourself? That way there’s less pressure,” he suggested, and you could have kissed him for it. You smiled, nodded, and grabbed a throw blanket from the chair. He turned around to face the wall while you took off your pants and settled under the blanket. 

“Ok, I’m good.” you said. He turned back around, coming to kneel beside you on the bed. 

“Do you want me to just… hold your hand? Or sit here and talk to you?” 

“Would you want to sit behind me?” You suggested nervously, leaning forward slightly. 

“Of course! Yeah, I can do that.” He took this seriously, and you appreciated that. This was a scenario you had thought about many times, and though you knew he wouldn’t be the type to ask you to have sex with him despite the pain, it was always a possibility. The fact that he didn’t take your pain lightly, and let you be in charge so you would be comfortable, meant more to you than he would ever know. Paul gently climbed behind you, putting his legs on either side of you, and hesitantly rubbing your shoulders. You leaned back into him, as if to say I’m okay with this.

“Can you hand me the… “ You nodded your head towards the nightstand, and Paul didn’t need to hear the rest of the sentence before he leaned over and grabbed the dilator and bottle of lube, holding them out in front of you both. You muttered a “thanks” as you took them from his hands, and brought them under the blanket. After slathering the dilator with a good amount of lube, you closed the bottle and tossed it towards the foot of the bed, leaning back and shifting your hips down. Paul clearly didn’t want to overstep his boundaries, so he was slow and careful as he wrapped his arms around your torso, giving you time to say stop. You didn’t, though. He felt your body tense slightly as you dragged the tip of the dilator around your entrance, so he started to rub his hands up and down your sides, kissing your cheek. You turned your head to look at him, and he met you with a sweet kiss. You guys pulled away slightly, before going back in as you began to push the dilator in further. He kissed you with love, tenderness, and care, so as not to hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable. It was clear that you had the reigns, and Paul would stop as soon as you gave the slightest indication that you were uncomfortable. The dilator was about half way in, and you felt a slight stinging sensation, but kissing Paul distracted you. You brought one hand up to cup the side of his face, pulling him back in. 

Paul kept kissing you, waiting for your lips to part so he could brush his tongue against yours. This is normally where you would stop him, but he knew everything now. There was no expectation of more, and damn. Paul was a really good kisser. He sucked lightly at your lower lip, before nibbling it and letting it go, coming back in with his lips. The combination of Paul’s kisses, the slight heat they brought to your body, and the pressure of the tip of the dilator inside you had you shift your hips, and involuntarily let out a small moan. It was barely audible, but Paul and his super senses heard it. You pulled away and slapped a hand over your mouth, your face turning bright red. He chuckled deeply, the sound going straight to your body, and brought his hand up to pull your hand off your mouth. “Don’t you dare hide those sounds from me,” he teasingly whispered into your ear. You shivered, and Paul started to kiss your cheek, down your jaw, and onto your neck. He sucked on the soft skin, hands squeezing your waist and rubbing up and down. You wanted to try something. For the first time, dilating actually didn’t feel so obligatory, so mechanical and stiff. You pushed the dilator deeper in, just about a centimeter, but enough to give you that feeling you had moments ago. You let out a breathy sigh as you tilted your head to give Paul more room on your neck. He felt you shift your hips again, and brought one of his hands to rub circles on your lower stomach. Skin on skin. And it felt good. 

You kept going like this for a few minutes, and Paul could feel your skin grow hotter by the second. Your back was arched, your neck covered in light red marks, and Paul had the intense desire to see you unravel. He brought his lips from your neck up to the side of your face, getting as close to eye contact as he could in this position, and said “Can I touch you?” 

You knew what he meant. The thought of it made you nervous. No one had touched you without it hurting before. It was almost as if he read your mind when he followed with “I can just stay on the outside…” Oh. You could be down with that. You turned your head to him and nodded. 

“Just try not to touch the dilator,” you said softly. You trusted Paul. He was already being so kind and patient with this, and you knew he would die before he would ever hurt you. The hand that had been rubbing circles on your stomach travelled lower. Lower. Lower. Until he could feel the slight stubble of a past shave, and then your soft, wet skin. You gasped as he touched your most sensitive parts, even more so because of how turned on you were. He gently made small, tight circles over your clit, your eyes rolling back in your head as you fell completely slack against him and let out a moan. A real moan, that Paul swore he would never forget. And he made you make that sound. It only spurred him on. He applied slightly more pressure, but not so much as to overwhelm you. And he knew that when girls were feeling good, the secret wasn’t faster or harder, but to keep doing exactly what you were doing. So that’s what he did, and it had you writhing. Your moans kept coming, and your legs had started to shake. However, because it felt so good, your muscles had started to clench around the dilator, and it was beginning to hurt. 

You didn’t want to rain on the parade. It was going so well. But Paul being the attentive lover that he is, noticed you begin to tense up in a new way. He brought his hand back up to your stomach, concern racing through his brain, and asked “Are you okay? Does it hurt?” 

“It’s kind of starting to. Not you, the dilator. I think I might take it out.” You stared down at his hand still touching your stomach. Such beautiful hands. You didn’t want it to end. 

“Do you want to try a smaller one? Or do you want to stop?” He questioned. 

“I really don’t want to stop,” you laughed. He breathed a laugh as well, and waited for your direction. You had a thought. Paul’s index finger was smaller than the dilator. Much smaller. If you just told him what to do and what not to do, that could feel really good. “Would you want to maybe… Nevermind.” You got nervous. 

“Hey, hey. No. Don’t do that. Tell me what you want,” He brought a finger up to your chin and moved your face towards him. “Tell me. Whatever it is, Princess. It’s yours.” Your whole body shuddered at this. He’s never called you that before, and to say it did something to you would be an understatement. 

You let out a breath, gathering courage, and said “Would you want to… use your finger?” 

He stopped at this. “Like, put my finger inside you? That wouldn’t hurt?” 

“I don’t think so. It’s smaller than this,” you said, bringing the dilator out and up. “And as long as I tell you what to do, it could be really good,” you said the last part shyly. 

“Okay, Princess. I can do that. How do you want me to do it?” 

“Try to do more… pressure, and less… friction? Like try not to go in and out so much, but you can move it around inside.” Your face was once again blushing intensely. 

“Anything you want. You just have to promise that you’ll tell me if it even hurts a little.”

“I promise.” You said it confidently enough that Paul brought his hand back down under the blanket. He circled your clit a couple times, making you shiver and release a breathy sigh, before moving his middle finger even lower, circling your entrance. He gathered some of the lube that was there from the dilator, coating his finger, and you brought your hand down to hold it, guiding it inside you at a speed that was comfortable. It was smaller than the dilator, so he was in you in 15 seconds. He stopped, and gave you a minute to adjust. Your hips writhed again because of how turned on you were, so Paul brought his other hand down and began circling your clit again. Your head fell back on his shoulder as you began to moan again, hips moving even more now. Paul took this as his queue to press his middle finger up against your inner wall lightly, causing a loud moan to leave your mouth. You were too far gone to be embarrassed. 

“There you go, baby,” he praised. God, this was the hottest thing he had ever seen. He was barely touching you, barely moving his finger inside you, and you were a mess. He had been rock hard since you guys started, but your ass was rubbing against him as you moved your hips, and he released a small growl at the feeling. This only turned you on more. He kept moving his finger in you the same way. Pressure, not friction. Pressure, not friction. He kept telling himself this. He wanted to finger bang you into oblivion, but the risk of hurting you was too high, so he kept up with rubbing the tip of his finger against that spot on your upper wall, in a “come-hither” motion. Your moans began to get higher in pitch, your body tensing even more.

“Relax your muscles for me, sweetheart,” he encouraged, and you did. Your release was approaching rapidly, and you wanted to grind against his hand, but you didn’t want to risk pain, so you trusted Paul to get you there. You were panting, hips shuddering, face scrunched, as your climax hit you like a wave. Your legs shook as you opened your mouth in a silent scream, and Paul carried you all the way through it. You came down, and lightly grabbed his wrists. He knew that that meant stop. So he slowly withdrew his finger, brought it up to his mouth, and sucked on it. Head still up in the clouds, you watched him, slack-jawed, as he popped his finger out and moaned. “So sweet,” he purred. Watching him suck on his finger like that made you think of something you’d like to suck on, and you looked down at Paul, still rock hard, and turned around in his lap. 

“Let me return the favor,” you said with a smirk.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Hue and Cry IV

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape; abuse of power, threats, chase, unwanted touching, mild violence.

This is dark!medieval!Bucky Barnes x reader and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Synopsis: You’re forgiven but only by the sins of another.

Note: Yesterday went pretty good! I have a longer day today but I will likely have my Second Anniversary Writing Challenge up on or before Thursday for all of you guys! I can’t wait and for now, I got number 4 done.

Thanks to everyone and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

Another servant brought Lord Barnes’ first meal. You watched from the corner, huddled under the wool blanket. He had her place a bowl of porridge before you but there was no generosity in the gesture. He only sustained you for his own means. You gulped from the rim and the oats piled in your stomach heavily.

He didn’t say a word to you as he ate. He strapped on his arm and grunted as he tightened each strap. You helped him dress after he shot you a dark look and he stopped you as you made to take a step back. You were still naked and prone to his will.

“I didn’t want it to be like this,” he said, “you understand? It doesn’t have to-- you frustrate me and it makes me cruel. You should do without me asking.”

“My lord,” you watched his hand grip your wrist tighter. He yanked you closer.

“You are not responsible for my meals anymore or tidying. Any woman with a speck of wit can do that. You…” he turned and thrust you towards the bed, “see to this, see to me, that I am happy and I will make you happy.”

You stared at the mattress. Your lips parted and you were sure you uttered “yes, my lord,” but it felt more like a cough.

He huffed and nudged you closer to the bed, “sleep, I am certain the floor allowed for little of that. Upon my return, you might seek my forgiveness… and perhaps to begin in your new duties.”

You turned and sat on the edge. He looked down at you and pulled his gloves on. He scrunched his lips and tilted his head as he thought, seemingly having a conversation with himself.

“And you will not look at me like that,” he said as he strode away and grabbed his cape from the atop the chest where he’d laid it out, “I am not a monster.”

He was gone and you were lost. You knew there was a guard outside that door, you knew the castle was crawling with them. You had nowhere to go and nothing to do but what he said. So you buried your head and tried to forget all that, if only for a moment.

🏰

You woke to pain. You lived the last day in pain but a spark in your thigh awoke you. You groaned and pushed the pillow away and looked down at the hand that crawled along the welts on your legs. As the palm brushed over the curve of your ass, your eyes found his face and you squeaked.

It hurt to move but you rolled away and sat up, hugging the pillow as you faced Lord Rogers. His blue eyes glimmered as he smiled at you.

“What-- my lord, where is Lord Barnes?” you gasped.

“He is withheld in the stables,” Rogers pulled his knees up on the bed and crawled over to grab your ankle, “I did seek to ask after you and your condition. His rage does make him cruel.”

“Don’t,” you pushed on his hand as it tugged on your leg, “he will not be happy if you proceed, my lord.”

“Don’t? You are bold for a servant,” he took your other ankle and yanked you hard so you fell onto your back. You dropped the pillow and swatted at him as he tried to wrench your legs apart, “he owes me, he cannot be mad at me claiming my debt--”

“No,” you wriggled and twisted around onto your stomach, your legs tangled strangely as you grasped the edge of the bed. You slipped one leg free and kicked out, your toes jabbed his chest harshly and he released your other ankle. You tumbled onto the floor and cried out as you jarred your wrist.

You heard him coming around the bed and you got to your feet unsteadily, holding the square end table for support. You were so stunned after the rude awakening you could hardly think. It felt like a nightmare, like you were still asleep and trapped in your fears.

You grabbed the heavy brass candlestick and swung out at Rogers as he came near. He dodged and chuckled darkly.

“Ay,” he bent his arm to deflect your second strike, “you don’t want to do that, sweetness.”

“Please, no,” you begged, “Lord Barnes, he said-- he would hurt me more--”

“He doesn’t need to know,” Rogers smirked and you lashed out at him again and caught his forearm. He backed up and held where you’d struck, “My word, you are a little bitch.”

“Stop, don’t come closer,” you stumbled against the wall and pressed your back to it as you sidled away, “please.”

“I just want a little taste,” he hummed, “Barnes won’t know--”

You hit him again and he swore as he gripped his shoulder. You clung to the candlestick and dashed for the door. You unlatched it and ripped it open, only to stagger back at the figure waiting for you on the other side. Lord Barnes stood with his hand still in position to grab the long handle and his brows drew together in displeasure.

“And where--” he began as he entered and his voice died as he sighted the other lord holding his shoulder, only a few inches behind you as he haled mid-chase, “Steve,” Barnes said evenly and eyed him then the candlestick in your hand. He reached down and freed it from your hold, “go,” he nudged your shoulder and pointed you to the corner.

You cowered as you passed Lord Rogers and did as Barnes bid. You stood in the corner and shivered as he gestured for the other lord to follow him into the corridor. The door closed violently behind them and you pressed yourself to the chilled stones.

“Now I know why my guard has strayed,” Barnes' voice carried through the wood, “did I not promise you a reward in due time?”

“I was only playing with her,” Rogers argued.

“She should have knocked you in the head with this,” Barnes hissed, “I should break my promise now, truly it would be your dissolution on the matter for your impatience.”

“She needs a good slap, she is far to brazen,” Steve sneered, “she struck me, twice.”

“Good,” Barnes said, “she knew better than you.”

There was silence and then a long sigh.

“Go, I haven’t the energy for this and our travels on the morrow,” Barnes huffed.

“Buck,” Rogers said softly.

“If it does not happen again, I will let it be,” Barnes muttered, “I am tired.”

The door opened and footsteps faded down the corridor. Barnes entered and tossed the candlestick so it clattered to the floor. You flinched and watched as he struggled to unclasp his cape with one hand. You saw the line between his brows as he grew frustrated. You went to him meekly and hesitantly reached for the buckle. He dropped his arm and let you free the cape.

He nodded and you slung it from the silver hook mounted upon the side of the great wooden wardrobe. You sensed him watching you and turned back to face him. You folded your hand, uncertain, and swayed slightly.

“He should not have done that,” Barnes, said, “you were right to fend him off.”

“My lord,” you replied diligently.

He let out another long breath and walked around the bed. He sat at the foot and watched you dwindle beneath the heat of his gaze. “Understand that you belong to me, first and foremost. You are mine. You do not raise your hand or your voice to me and you do only as I bid.”

“Yes, my lord,” you said.

He lowered his hand and undid his belt. He let it fall loose and unbuttoned the front of his dark vest. “Help me. I’ve already sent for hot water.”

You helped him as you did before. The layers stripped away around the weight of his metal arm. He was not shy of his nudity but he kept you from removing his arm, he did that himself and kept his scars in the shadows as best he could. He fell back, his legs bent over the bed and sniffed.

“Cover yourself in a nightshirt and let the servants in to draw the bath,” he ordered.

You pulled on one of his nightshirts and when the knock came you did as he bid. Servants carried in a large metal tub and a procession of steaming pots filled it with hot water. When it was full, you closed the door and resumed your place in the corner.

Barnes rose and went to the tub. He lowered himself into the water and his blue eyes lingered on you. His broad shoulders pressed against the beaten metal and his single arm stretched around the rim.

“Come here,” he said.

You went to him and stopped beside the tub. His eyes slipped to the nightshirt and his lips curved slightly.

“Take that off, get in,” he nodded to the tub.

You bit down and lifted the hem of the shirt. You put it aside and neared the tub again. You gripped the rim and stepped over the side. Barnes sat up slightly as you drew your second foot in and he directed you with one arm. You turned your back to him as he urged you down against him until your back was against his firm torso.

He purred and his hand fell to your stomach. He traced a trail up to your breasts and fondled them one at a time. You felt a twitch against you and he pushed his hand back down. His fingers crept up and down your body as he explored your flesh with little hums.

“Were you afraid?” he asked, “when Rogers appeared?”

You watched his hand and resisted the want to push him away. Despite the steaming water, you felt cold and distant, almost as if your body wasn’t bound to your mind.

“Yes,” you said, “yes, my lord. He woke me and I didn’t know what to do.”

“You did the right thing,” his lips brushed the top of your head, “you kept yourself for me.”

You held your breath. You hadn’t truly been thinking about him, about what he desired, you were only terrified and desperate, like that night he’d tried to have you. You trembled and let out the air as it began to burn your lungs. Your skin buzzed as it all sank in; you were naked, more so he was naked too, and you were laying there against him.

“My lord,” you eked out as his hand slipped lower and rested over your most intimate part.

He stayed like that for a time. You felt his heartbeat against you as he basked in the warmth of the water and your body. His hand would move back up and he’d hug you to him but then it would hover again along your vee and sometimes his fingers would caress your thigh.

“Are you truly sorry?”

“My lord?” you blinked as your daze was cracked.

“Are you sorry that you ran from me?”

You heard how brittle his voice was and felt the tension in his body. You touched his hand as it rested on your stomach.

“I am truly sorry, my lord,” you almost believed yourself, “I am only a foolish girl and my ignorance did scare me, not-- not you, my lord.”

He nuzzled your head and slid his hand away and twined his fingers between your. You felt his member prodding you from beneath and that scared you. You felt every bit of him against you; his raw strength and his pulsing desire. You closed your eyes and braced for what came next.

“We must begin for the capital tomorrow,” he said and your lashes fluttered in surprise, “that means we must rest. You may sleep in the bed beside me,” he squeezed your hand and moved it over chest, “would you like that?”

You thought of the cold stone and the ache in your bones, the way even now your bottom and legs seared from the welt across them. You pictured the long trek to the royal castle and the onslaught of autumn. It all fell over you like a suffocating shroud.

“Yes, my lord, I would like that,” you said.

He was quiet for a little longer as he held you against him. He groaned and shifted beneath you, “I only did what I had to,” he turned your hand over and traced the lines of your palm with his thumb, “I never wanted to hurt you.”

You swallowed through your spite as your fear urged you to caution, “I know, my lord,” another painful lie lodged in your throat, “I… wronged you and I am sorry for it.”