#it's a nice little passion project that hopefully conveys some amount of comfort to the people who identify with these characters

[dadatello]

I'd like to take this moment to thank you all so much for the support on this au !! I initially created it because this concept is channeling something that is deeply personal to me at the moment. Hopefully it will serve as something that is as healing to you as it is to me. :)

[indieks]

Valentine's Day +2 🥀 Bang Chan

🌹 Pairing : Bang Chan x Reader

🌹 Genre : A lot of fluff, Mild angst

🌹 Word count : 8.2k

🌹 Synopsis : He had asked you out on Valentine’s day, making this special day even more special to you. However, two years later, this fourteenth day of February turns out to be one of the days the both of you hate the most. Bang Chan still loves you, and you still love him, then how come you didn't manage to be each other’s Valentine any longer?

🌹 A/N : Hello everyoooone! I’m posting just a short prompt. For the first time I'm writing for Stray Kids but reading excellent fics with Bang Chan just made me want to write as well, and for the second first time in my life, I've written a fanfic in only an afternoon, after having had a pretty nice dream and having seen the McDonald's advertisements for Valentine's day. Putting these two things together, I’ve come out with this!

Hopefully you guys will enjoy it, I’m still working on my Jooheon’s series but I think I will come to love publishing oneshots randomly like this! Thank you for ever reading my work ♥

                         February 14th, 2017.

 It was high time he asked you out, he knew it, and he finally had braced the courage to do so. Chan wasn't sure if you reciprocated his feelings as the signs he thought he had perceived might have been wrong, or if you felt as complete as he were every time you spent time together. But still, he had to let his heart speak for itself after having muting it for so long, its hushed voice that turned inside his head whenever you were near him constricting his throat more and more as it fought to get out, to the point he had a hard time answering as you asked him :

"So where do you want to meet tonight?"

Your lovely voice at the other end of the line froze Chan under his sheets, his phone nearly crushed into his hand, and suddenly all of his bravery and his firm decision to tell you how he felt was nowhere to be found. He felt helpless like back when he was in middle school, time when he had, like a lot of children of his young age, been "in love" with a classmate, getting petrified every time she had smiled at him or held his hand in the rows.

However right now, he was twenty-one years old, in his third year of studying music at the university, and he had already written a few stories with other girls in the past before he met you, so he just couldn't let himself be petrified within his feelings like a kid. He had always been confident, smiling, comfortable around his previous crushes ; he had even had a serious relationship where he had been the one to confess first. Then how come everything in his usual self-assured behavior turned out to be M.I.A when it came to you?

He had met you during the second semester of the second year, in other words about six months ago. You had freshly landed in Seoul, flying from a foreign country, and barely speaking the language but at least comprehending its basics. He had been told that you had moved because of your parents' jobs, and that you needed someone to help you get accustomed to your new environment and make it into the third year without lacking too much.

And luckily for you, Chan had been the one to welcome you. The blonde and curly haired boy was indeed the president of the Foreign and Exchange Students association, created specifically for the ones that came by to study in Seoul for a semester or longer thanks to partnerships with universities across the world. Chan had come from Australia himself as soon as he had become a high school graduate, and quickly, he had been sent over to this small organization where a few foreign students or bilingual Koreans had helped him untangle all the administrative formalities, tutored him to perfect his mastering of the language, and taught him other little things that had made him went through his first year smoothly.

And at some point, Chan had turned out to be the one giving a hand to lost foreigners, making him the next target for the presidency of the association, as he also was quite popular and well appreciated by everyone, especially thanks to his rap trio 3RACHA from the Music association in which he had also signed in. His two friends and himself had indeed got themselves known by dropping bomb-like verses during small concerts thrown by the association at the beginning of the student council's parties, earning some kind of fame and recognition.

That is how he had dated his first long-term girlfriend ever, a student from the same major as his and a member of the Music association, her voice having mused him somehow and making him fall for her charms just like a sailor called out by the chant of a mermaid. They had started to write, record and perform collabs together, their duet's popularity skyrocketing to the top of the gossips and the admiration of everyone ; however, the two soon realized they weren't matching as well as a couple as they did in music, so the romance ended after a few months together.

And Chan had known, when he had had the chance to talk to you for the first time and for the days and weeks after that, that he indeed had just been musically on the same wavelength as his ex ; because it was you, he felt romantically in sync with.

He still remembered the dumbfounded expression twisting your traits as you had been wandering in the hallways on your first day of school, your silhouette being dragged around slowly by your stumbling feet as you had looked around in hopes to find the association's meeting room quickly, feeling the most lost you had ever been in your whole life. Studying in Seoul didn't displease you, but arriving in the middle of a year, when everyone had already made acquaintances during the past months, had automatically been putting a distance between the people in your year and yourself, not mentioning your learning of the language that had still been in process.

But what Chan was reminded of the most, was the relieved look and the wide smile you had addressed him when he had finally come to your rescue after he had amusingly observed you behind the room's windows, with your head snapping from the left to the right in search of your destination. From your first discussion around a cup of coffee spitted by the vending machine, Chan had known you were nice and easy-going, and something about how your eyes had lightened up every time he had questioned you about your country, your studies and your passions, had warmed his heart.

And from this short encounter, Chan then became your first classmate, friend, but also your every single school project's partner ; and as time had went by, you also had become the best buddies. You couldn't quite explain how come your minds just clinked the way they did, maybe the "foreign" way of thinking helping you to get closer faster as you understood, interpreted, discovered and learned the same things with the same "ooh" slipping out of your mouths each time one of Chan's friends – who had then ended up being yours – explained something to the both of you. It was funny to see that after more than a year of living on the Korean ground, Chan was still as much of a newbie as you.

If you had dreaded the sudden change in your life, the leaving of your own friends back in your mother's country, the imposing of a new culture you were excited to dig yourself in as much as it feared you, Chan had become the constant ray of sun gracing your days, with the efforts he put to spare time to study with you and help every time you needed, with his dimple smile and his dork-ish attitudes that made you laugh out loud during classes, with his funniness, tenderness but also his kind of protective aura you had grown to get the most comfortable around, as if standing or sitting next to him conveyed the same familiar and welcoming feeling you had when you reunited with your bed once home.

Soon enough, as the months had passed along with the rising of your grades up 'til the end of the year, your bloody organ had come to double in size just to welcome the huge amount of feelings you had secretly gathered for Bang Chan, just like he implicitly had for you.

So, on this February 14th, 2017, just before the start of your third year, it was with knots torturing your stomach and chills plaguing your skin that you were waiting for Chan in front of the McDonald's restaurant, eyes fixed on the usual spot next to the window that you, him and your group of friends always targeted when you decided to drop Korean food for gross burgers and fries, and you found yourself dozing off into a set of wonderings.

He knows it's Valentine's day, doesn't he? Why would he want to meet on this special day? With couples around everywhere to remind him? Why? Was it on purpose, or not?

Chan and you were already pretty close, amicably but also physically speaking, not a day being spent without an arm swung around shoulders, fingers pinching cheeks, hands grasping waists or wrists as you or him led the way through the corridors ; all those small gestures hinting at some kind of attraction you had for each other and making you suppose the day you would cross the "friends" line was approaching. Yet every time he ruffled your hair like a brother would and genuinely smiled at you after having attempted any of these physical contacts, he watered the roots of doubt you still had planted at the back of your head.

"Hi" a familiar, sweet voice pulled you down to Earth and right out of your daze, and you slightly jumped at the sight of your closest friend, his long blonde hair fighting messily on the top of his head.

"You know we're in winter, right?" you sighed as you couldn't help but compare your body wrapped into dozens of layers of fabrics to protect yourself from the icy weather, while he was just… Sporting a black windbreaker with the hood barely covering his skull.

The boy chuckled and grabbed you by the shoulders before turning you around towards the entrance, not even bothering to answer your question as he knew you had asked rhetorically, your scolding side talking for itself. He made you sit down at the famous spot, telling you he would order without letting you the time to protest.

"I know what you're eating, just trust me" he had smiled slyly before turning around.

That pretty twist of his lips faded the cold sensation your shivering body had been put through during the good ten minutes you had been waiting for him, and you eyed him with your chin in the palm of your hand, your pupils unintentionally shooting a loving stare at his silhouette waiting in line.

You liked him so much, couldn't he see?

You wondered how come he hadn't caught the signs of how weak in the knees he made you, when he would back-hug you from time to time, when he would video call you during the weekend to tell you he was bored, when he would text you as he was getting drunk with the boys to narrate you the shit they were about to do, when he would wait for you every Monday and Thursday at the end of classes, when he would ask you to sneak out the dorms as you both couldn't sleep, when he would rap in front of you with a firm tone and an aussie accent that ate your insides.

He was utterly charming, caring, reliable, nice, and moreover, he had the looks ; a perfect combination to inevitably push you over the edge and make you fall for him at some point.

"Here" the boy shook you out of your thoughts another time by sitting down in front of you with a plate where exactly the same menus were organized, the greasy scent making your twisted stomach growl in hunger.

A question about why he had ordered the exact same thing for you and for him flashed in your mind as a thunderbolt, your tastes in food being rather complementary than similar usually, however you weren't expecting the answer he gave you in spite of you not having even worded your interrogation :

"It's… It's the Valentine's day menu" he first trailed off, his eyes meeting yours for a split second before you witnessed the frown that crumpled his traits as if he was embarrassed at himself.

He definitely was, because he knew how cheesy, cringy and ridiculous his demand was about to be, but it was the only idea he had had to satisfy his urge to word you how he wanted you to be more than a friend.

"I know it must be kind of awkward to have invited you at McDonald's on this special day we can't ignore with all the heart balloons, the advertisements, the couples around us… Y-You probably are wondering what you're doing here with me tonight anyway, but I just couldn't find the proper moment to ask you something without feeling like I'm gonna die on the spot before…"

He leveled up his pupils and held your curious gaze that had pierced right through him all the while, your heartbeat speeding up like a runner for his last 50 meters on the track, the taste of anticipation gracing the front buds of your tongue.

"But as I saw this menu on the subway walls, I thought this could help me seduce you and would rise up my chances because you love it so much. So… W-Would you be my Valentine and share it with me, Y/N?"

He whined and smacked himself lightly, his eyes shooting up to the ceiling and his nose wrinkling, and the urge to laugh bubbled at the back of your throat, the happiness of knowing he mirrored your feelings and the cuteness of his actions – being a first in front of you – getting the best of you.

"So it was a date" you smiled cheekily, taken aback by your own assurance as you looked at him with battling lashes.

"Yeah, it was. Not quite romantic, but at least I'm sincere" he chuckled shyly, bringing his left hand to mess up the mop of curls atop his reddening head.

"French fries and burgers can be quite romantic to me, especially when my boyfriend and I share the exact same menu showing we get along well to this point. What are roses compared to that?" you joked.

Chan bit his lip as he heard you pronounce the word "boyfriend" and in less than a second, he was standing up to sit next to you, before his large hands grabbed your face smoothly.

"I've been craving to do that more than to eat a burger, can you imagine that coming from me?" he half-whispered and once he saw you smile in response, he took it as his green light and stole a kiss from your plump lips.

That first time you kissed, he had tasted like tangerines, probably the last thing he had eaten as a snack before he had come to meet you. And the second time, as you got out of the fast-food with your fingers intertwined with his, he had tasted like ketchup and cola ; but the two times, it turned out to be the most appetizing taste your lips had been met with, his own then becoming a source of hunger every time they grazed your mouth, as you couldn't get enough of them.

                                              February 14th, 2018.

 "That's perfect baby, one more take and we can go, I promise" Chan tenderly addressed you in the mic from the other side of the small studio he rented with the 3RACHA members, and you quickly gulped down a sigh as you nodded at him.

He was lucky you loved him enough to be patient in spite of the pile of anger that had slowly been building itself down the pit of your stomach during the last weeks. It was your first-year anniversary so you were willing to not mess everything up, still you knew you were going to talk to him about what was bothering you sooner or later.

The main problem was that as time passed by, Chan seemed to be caring for you and loving you just like he had been during the first flourishing months of your relationship, yet exclusively once it was the two of you between the four walls of the dark studio, where he would solicit your help to record a few things, complimenting your voice again and again, his eyes closed as he listened to it on a loop in his headphones.

At first, it had touched you and made you proud that he had asked you to feature on the songs he had written with the boys ; but now, it simply bit at your nerves to see him in pure ecstasy at the sound of your voice more than before you, his girlfriend, standing in front of him inside a living body. He had told you about his collabs with his ex and even had made you listen to them with a mixture of embarrassment and satisfaction on his traits as he was still proud of what they had produced, but to your pleasure, he had been on cloud 9 when you had accepted his offer of being the one to sing with him on his first real mixtape.

Because yes, Chan and his two friends from 3RACHA were soon going to drop their first mixtape on various strealing platforms, thanks to one of the foreign students your boyfriend had helped all too kindly and whl had then testified of his gratitude by talking about them to his father who had connections with people in the music industry.

And ever since that project had been on tracks, Chan had started to get literally obsessed with writing, producing and moreover, getting a glimpse of your voice in his songs. You had been flatted like every single girlfriend of a musician would have been in your boots, however, you had ignored that "working" with him could cause a new kind of frictions between the two of you, the lookout for perfection sometimes tensing him.

Still, every time he had been too harsh on you, he had always managed to make himself forgiven with apologies or surprise visits at your dorm room late at night, if you had left him alone in the studio after having told him to piss off and to look for another backup singer, "why not his ex whose voice he liked so much".

Indeed, what angered and saddened you the most, was that you had reluctantly admitted to yourself that he somehow was trying to accomplish what he hadn't with his ex, this dream of having found his muse in love and in music.

You could see he was living his best life, but you weren't sharing the same dream. You weren't the girl he was seeing in you, and as much as you loved music, as much as you appreciated how he let you enter in the intimate bubble it represented for him, you weren't aspiring to do this forever. You weren't a duet, you were a couple ; you weren't his backup singer, you were his girlfriend ; and you had to remind Chan of that.

On top of it all, to worsen your love life by making you overthink of him, Chan was practically not sleeping anymore, his days spent in classes and his nights spent composing. It had caused him to having kind of fainted in your arms more than once, the scariest time being at an underground performance, where you had thankfully been in the front row to catch him. Yet even despite his body sending him signs of how unhealthy the way he led his life was, his passion turning scarily into a fixation, he still couldn't stop himself from devoting his body and soul to it.

"Happy first anniversary, love" Chan muttered against your lips as he had entered the small recording booth where you had been standing in for a – way too long – moment, and you instantly melted under his touch, as if his fingers brushing your clothes and the skin of his mouth on top of yours absorbed any hint of your previous anger and frustration.

Oh damn, you loved him so much. But why couldn't he love you back as he simply used to, by engulfing you in the corridors, by video calling you on the weekends to spit nonsense, by drunk texting you that he was missing you, by waiting for you on Mondays and Thursdays instead of going straight to the studio with Jisung and Changbin?

You missed his friendship and his spontaneous side, as you craved for the thing you liked the most about your relationship in the first place : your ability to discuss about anything and everything for hours, like your buddy-selves had used to do before you had started to officially date.

Yet every single time he would finally grant you some of his kisses, their deepness being felt by the way his eyes bored into yours and how he exhaled intensely as if your touch never ceased to turn him upside down, you stopped being upset because of him as it reminded you that you knew, he was just being passionate.

You knew you had to support him, you knew you had to be the one to at least stick by his side as his path towards his dream was getting narrower yet clearer ; nevertheless, a selfish and hurt voice kept on whispering to you how bad you wished to go back to before this project had ever been mentioned, how bad you wished he had his attention on you and you only more often.

"Listen to this…" he mumbled in a sigh with an arm still snaked around your waist now that you were back into the mastering room, and you heard your voice chant through the speakers, making you cringe and hide your face in the crook of his neck.

Chan kissed the top of your head while chuckling at your reaction, and he pressed a touch on the keyboard that replayed the small part all over again.

"Stop it, I hate hearing myself" you whined, giving him a slight tap on the back.

"But I fucking love it" he smiled as he closed his eyes, a breath of air leaving his nostrils and passing through your hair.

"And me? Do you love me?" your despair had suddenly blurted out without asking for permission, and you felt him tense a bit before you.

Silence. You didn't move, biting your bottom lip in regret but also in anticipation, as you somehow felt relieved by having asked the question which had buzzed into your mind lately.

"Hm? What's that question baby?" Chan asked you worryingly, his fingers gently grabbing your chin to turn it away from his chest and make you look at him.

"Why don't you answer it?" you replied back, your heart playing the drums and your palms turning moist.

Seeing the look of incomprehension painting his traits, you sighed and only planted a small kiss on his lips, tiredness taking the best of you as well as deception to see he definitely was not noticing how he had said he loved your voice all the time for weeks now, but without ever saying the three words eight letters to you directly.

"Wait Y/N, what's wrong? Tell me" he ushered you, blocking you by tightening his grasp around your frame when you tried to walk away, and your butt came back in contact with the huge desk.

"Nothing, it's just… Thank you for loving my voice so much, but I would gladly appreciate it if you loved me more" you bluntly explained, not even caring about how sincere you were being, without any filter to soften your tone.

"What's that nonsense? When I tell you I love your voice it's also a way for me to tell you I love you, you should know that" he protested with a slight furrow of his eyebrows, his pupils searching for any clearer explanation on your face.

However, his answer didn't satisfy you, it did quite the reverse ; it angered you.

"How can I be sure anymore when you look at me, praise me, reach out to me only once we're in this studio?" you crossed your arms firmly. "And look, you did love Jihye's voice, but it didn't work out, so sorry if I'm doubting"

"Wait- Why are you bringing her up now? What's the real problem here? I don't understand you" Chan took a step back to have a better sight of your scowl.

You slowly exhaled your fury that was suddenly flaring your guts and making you see red out of nowhere. Every single thing you had kept for yourself was resurfacing like the lava from the pit of a volcano, and you definitely burned your boyfriend as you exploded and let it all out :

"Maybe you don't understand me anymore, just as I'm having a hard time to understand you. We're always talking about music, you're always in the studio, and seems like you're only loving me and wishing to see me behind that glass with headphones on. Because otherwise, you're unreachable, Chan. You're like in your own world, and I feel like I'm existing just when you need me to be, because if I don't reach out to you when we're not here, you don't."

The jaw of the blonde boy had slightly fallen in surprise but he was quick to clench it as he passed a hurried hand through his soft strands of hair, and he was the one to heave a sigh this time.

"Is this what it is about? I thought you were rooting for me, I thought you wanted me to talk about what was going in my head, that's our number one rule, so yeah, actually, nowadays, my head is all about that mixtape, I'm sorry. You should know this is important to me" he explained with an unreadable expression masking his face, before it switched to a hurt one as he had spoken out the last words.

"I know that, I know, but what I don't know anymore is if I am important to you as well" you retorted, a familiar burn spreading behind your eyelids and telling you the tears were coming. "You don't reassure me on that point anymore."

"But what should I do to reassure you? If you don't get the proof that I love you when I'm asking you to sing with me and when I'm praising you, then I don't know what to do? I-I'm just super confused right now because you're blurting everything out of nowhere!" his voice was a tone higher but you didn't guess that it wasn't due to some anger but rather frustration.

"It is NOT out of nowhere, Chan! It's just that you can't read my expressions anymore, nor guess what I want too! You think we're having the perfect relationship right now, but I don't!" you then broke into sobs, to the greatest surprise of your boyfriend who immediately decreased the distance between the both of you. "Look at us, we're here in this fucking suffocating studio again, even when it's our first anniversary! We don't do anything besides that, we don't do simple and random things as we used to before, and I fucking miss it… That was perfect for me"

You cried in his black shirt, your ear against the left part of his chest so that you could hear how fast his heart was beating, while he was caressing the back of your skull soothingly.

"I-I'm sorry babe, I didn't know… I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" he was muttering again and again, his lips brushing the top of your head.

"No, I'm the one who's sorry" you abruptly calmed yourself down, retreating from his hug and looking up to him whose eyes were shining with worry and sorrow. "I already can guess in which position I'm putting you, and I don't want it."

"What are you talking about?" his voice had turned low, almost a whisper, as his palms came to grasp your face.

"I can't be asking desperately for your affection if you're not thinking by yourself of giving to me, I can't be asking you to go back to what we were when you're going ahead towards your dream, I-"

"No, no Y/N don't do this, please" he pleaded as he finally got where you were going, his head shaking from the left to the right. "This is not what I want"

"And I can't ask you to drop that project or to spend less time on it for me, because I know how important it is for you and for your dream, and because I love you. So I'd rather step aside, so you wouldn't have to worry about me now that I said what I said. I can't be that burden, I wouldn't forgive myself if I become the reason why you work less on your music."

You were so sad, and you had felt so sorry as you had caught the confused and hurt look on his face as he firstly had believed you weren't supporting him anymore, that you couldn't think of any other solution that the fatal one.

"I'm sorry I know I'm hard to live with these days but it'll soon be over, please stick with me a little bit longer, please…" Chan tried to reason you, his thumbs wiping your tears away. "I love you, I swear I do, it's just stress that's eating my brain, but I'll find a compromise, I swear"

"No, Chan. Because after this mixtape, will come another one, and surely multiple others because you guys are talented, and I can't ask you to lessen the time you spend working on it if this is what it's supposed to take" you denied, your puffy eyes turning away from his as you were dozing off in a black hole of despair.

"I can do it. I will do it. I spend too much time on it, I know that" he ensured. "Stay with me."

You broke into another set of tears once again, and this time, as he saw his words had hit your sensitive chord, Chan turned your face to his and kissed you with a need you hadn't known he was feeling, something so desperate, all the while leaving his eyes open to watch your face he cherished so much. Soon, your arms were around his neck and his around your waist, and soon, you were making out like two valentines far from breaking up would on their first anniversary.

                                               February 14th, 2019.

 He couldn't find a compromise as his popularity had kept on increasing, and you couldn't bear hearing him telling you "sorry" again and again as you had felt guilty every single time, so after one year and four months of dating, you had chosen to break up, for his and your own good. You loved him and you knew he loved you too, but it seemed like you weren't able to be together, at least for now.

On this Valentine's day, you were extremely lonely, a single phrase banging against the walls of your otherwise empty head : "It would have been our two years today". It was two weeks before back to school, your fifth and last year at the university being long awaited, and as much as you felt excited, you dreaded seeing Chan again.

You both had remained what we could call "good friends" as you shared the same groups of buddies, forcing you to spend some time together at lunches, but moreover during classes as you were in the same major, him having specialized in recording while you had been attracted to the marketing and promotion faucet of Music. Your heart had ached every time he had greeted you with a small smile, or every time you had caught his stare on you at the few parties he had attended when he had not been in the studio – the parties being the ones where he had been asked to perform.

And every time he did perform, you had fallen in love with him all over again, as much as you felt proud of how fast he was growing musically, his lyrics, instrumentals and arrangements getting sharper and sharper, and comforting you in the idea that you had made the right choice. You had made the right choice, yes, but when it was time for school breaks and you couldn't see him daily, you missed him, and the lack of his presence hit you like a boomerang right in your face.

You ignored if he, too, craved for your company and your touch as much as you did. Because in class, in the broad daylight, he was always shining, still throwing smiles at everyone, still cracking jokes to his friends, in spite of the dark circles visible under the two black gems that were his eyes. So as March and back to school was approaching, you were scared to be met with him fully recovered after having spent the winter break away from you. You feared he would be the first one moving on, when you were stuck at the same place you had been back when you had broken up, the only thing helping you to get through it being his success in music.

3RACHA had now dropped three mixtapes in less than a year and were getting more and more recognition in the rap and music industry overall, labels only waiting for the members to finish their studies just like they had asked before darting their claws right at them.

I made the right choice, you repeatedly thought to yourself as you took a big bite of your McDonald's hamburger with contentment, your eyes fixed on the TV's screen playing "Bridget Jones's Diary" instead of savoring it with your boyfriend, because you were now a single woman hating that fourteenth day of February as much as the other who were in the same celibacy situation.

                                             April 16th, 2019.

 It was a shiny school day, cherry blossoms having bloomed on the alley taking you to the university, and you entered your first class of your agenda in a good mood. Chan was seating at the back of the small amphitheater, wearing his famous leather jacket, a white T-shirt marrying his toned bust and shoved into a pair of black jeans ripped at the knees, falling on biker boots. As if he had felt your aura spreading into the room, he suddenly leveled up his gaze towards the door and when your eyes met, he swore he had to retain a hiss.

You were utterly beautiful this morning, and if his heart had already been throbbing at your sight now that he couldn't hold you in his arms nor kiss you, he didn't know why, on this Tuesday in particular, he was struck that hard. Maybe it was the clearest of the signs he had tried to ignore up 'til now, telling him he needed to get you back somehow. He knew you had done this for him but also for you, he knew he had made you suffer, but damn, his feelings for you didn't seem to be fading, on the contrary ; the less he was seeing you, the more he thought of you, and the more he loved you and longed for you.

Now that he had produced three mixtapes, he was starting to get a hold of his schedule and his organization, and he was convinced that he could manage to satisfy you all over again, just like he had before getting sucked up into that "music is my life" spiral shit.

So as your eyes lingered on each other for a bit too long, as he caught a spark of need into your two orbits even if you had tried to put on a pokerface, Chan was pushed further towards his decision to make a move on you after having respected your unilateral decision for so long.

Time for lunch had come, and your group of friends within your class decided to eat outside and then to chill at Jihye's apartment for a while, the next course being a 6 p.m. Yes, Jihye and you had come to somehow grow close to each other as she had ended up being your partner on a project during the second semester of your fourth year and, surprisingly, she had even comforted you as you had broken down into tears in front of her during your brainstorming session at her place.

She was sweet, lively, bold, so there was no reason for you to despise her ; moreover, she sure hadn't any remaining feelings towards Chan as she had even offered you her help to get you back with him, which you had politely refused, because of how sure you were about your decision being "the best for the both of you".

You – not so surprisingly – ended up eating at McDonald's, Chan seated at the far end of the table so pretty much the furthest he could be from you, and a girl from the group never ceased to flirt with him, her crush on him completely obvious now that you knew about it, as one day, she had come to ask you if you and him were definitely over and if you were okay with her trying her luck. Yet, he seemed not to care as you only witnessed his glances at you from the corner of his eye, sometimes smiling at you when he saw how your brows furrowed, as if he didn't even care having been caught.

What's with him…?

Soon, out you were wandering in the streets with your ex, Woojin, Jisung and Changbin, the rest of your pack having stopped at an ice cream shop while you had chosen to look for a convenience store, your stomachs craving for the worst snacks for your stomach but the best to spend a lazy afternoon doing nothing.

The boys were loudly chatting and running before you while Chan slowly walked next to you, eyeing discretely your face as you were echoing their laughs, their jokes and crazy attitudes making you crack up. You seemed to be shining a dozen times more than the sun that was up in the sky and burning the top of your heads, the weather being particularly hot for a spring day. And as if he had been blinded by your beauty literally speaking, Chan suddenly felt dizzy from staring for too long, the reflect of the rays of the sun on the shopwindows you were passing not helping him getting his senses back.

He blinked a few times and looked in front of him, but the whole road was burning his eyes with a vivid white glow, and he got nauseous, bringing his arm in front of his eyes to protect his vision. However, the uneasy feeling had already spread down to his feet, making him chilly and panting as he brutally interrupted his steps, and the last thing he saw before his legs gave up on him, was your face as you had turned back to him, your voice calling out for him suddenly blurry in his ears.

"Chan! Chan what's wrong? Chan?!"

Out of a sudden, the blonde boy was falling frontwards, right into your two arms who had been ready to catch him, and you heard him moan as his head landed heavily against your right shoulder. You groaned as all his weight was passed onto you, before you called out his name again, however the two arms that weakly wrapped around your waist interrupted your flow of panic as it showed you the boy was still conscious. His whole body was shivering, yet his breathing was steady while yours was messed up by your sobs.

"You're not sleeping, again? Why? Why don't you sleep huh? Look at how you scared me!" you were scolding him, your love for him doubling your worry and your will to kill him for depriving himself from good nights of sleep.

"Hm… 'M sorry…"

You moved closer to the shop behind you and squatted slowly, your back longing the wall, taking him down with you in the process so that he could sit. Once his legs had been extended on the tar, you held his bust up with your two hands on his shoulders, ignoring how the leather of his jacket that had taken the sun was burning your palms. A shadow suddenly loomed over you as the boys had come back running once they hadn't felt you walking behind them anymore, but they quickly recognized the scene as being their friend's "classical" fainting due to his lack of rest.

"Changbin, I told you to make sure he was getting any sleep" you reproached to your friend whose eyes were filled with the same worry as yours, and you saw his expression mute into a sorry one as he saw how you bad were crying.

"I was sure he was… We got back to the dorms together each time, but I guess he only makes it seem like he's sleeping once he's in his bed…" he mumbled as he looked down at the Australian guy who was slowly regaining consciousness.

"Babe…"

"It's fine, Chan, I'm here. Just breathe. It's fine, it's gonna be alright, hm? It's gonna be alright if you just breathe, and get some rest, please" you reassured him as one of your hands left his body to dry the waterworks on your steaming cheeks.

"I'm sleeping… I just didn't sleep the past week… Because I was too busy thinking of ways to get you back…" he half-mumbled half-chuckled, his head slowly raising so that his tired eyes could meet yours.

Your heart jumped up your throat at his declaration and smoothly, the three friends who had been towering the both of your sitting figures retreated. Chan let out a deep sigh at your lack of response and, magically, he found enough strength to gather his legs and squat in front of you, his knees practically touching your bust. You could feel his profound breathing caress your face, the air drying the wet traces your tears had left, and the way he looked at you took your own breath away.

"I just miss you, so bad, y'know? Let's get back together, I'm in love with you and seems like it won't change" he said in a loving but hoarse voice.

Small pearls of sweat were forming at the base of his forehead, humidifying his long strands of hair he pushed back with a shaky hand.

"I found out how to manage my time, now… I can't be apart from you anymore, I've used up all my ideas for songs about breakups and sadness and regrets" he softly laughed, his dimples reappearing and they got the best of you as they made him earn a smile from you. "I won't disappoint you nor will I put you aside. So give me a second chance, hm? Trust me with my choice just like I trusted yours, but I don't think we're better without each other anymore"

"You twit" you only responded as his confession had pulled at the right strings of your heart, the ones of hope, of lingering feelings, of need, of lack.

You could depict the sincerity in his eyes, and you could guess that he had waited for this day to come, the one when he could ensure you he was able to manage his love for music and his love for you. He had respected your decision and had learned from it, only to find a way to make it work out with you again. You delicately rose your two hands up and cupped his face, spotting how he leaned into your touch and how his nostrils dilated as he took in a deep breath, and slowly, you got closer to him, giving him a single but soft kiss.

Then, Chan let himself drift forward to land his two hands on each side of your head on the glass, and he extended his neck to steal another kiss from you, then a third and a fourth one, until a scraping of a throat interrupted your make up :

"Let's go, lovebirds, they're waiting for us at the apartment" Jisung informed you and you quickly stood up, helping Chan to do so before holding his waist as you walked to make sure he wouldn't fall again.

Once you were at Jihye's apartment and after a lot of wooo's, claps and whistles your classmates addressed you as they saw you coming in each other's arms, you directed yourselves towards the bed at the far end of the living room, where you made Chan lie down so that he could at least get a little bit of rest before the next class. And because he just had retrieved your skinship after too many months of only dreaming of it painfully, he couldn't get enough of you, so he dragged you down with him before you even had the time to get him a cup of water.

You pulled the cover over the both of your bodies lying on the side and ignored the sly remarks your classmates made as they installed themselves on the sofa which had its back on you, and immediately, your boyfriend pulled you closer to him and kissed you with a good pressure of his mouth against yours.

"Oh my god how bad I missed that" he murmured, his lips still grazing yours, and you shivered at the sensation.

You had missed him as well so you couldn't refrain your hands from climbing up his back and sneaking slightly under his white T-shirt, making him groan softly.

"I want you…" he shamelessly admitted, causing you to bite his lip teasingly before peppering his jaw and neck with pecks.

"I don't think you're capable of doing anything right now, you're out of energy with your insomnias" you chanted discretely. "And I don't understand how you can even think of that as we're lying in your ex's bed"

Chan laughed, his chest shaking against yours and his smile spreading from ear to ear, as he had also missed your nagging temperament.

"Maybe that's a kink…"

You kicked his feet he then tangled with yours and he laughed even more before engulfing you the closer he could to his body. You got drunk on his scent, that familiar, welcoming, warm perfume that had tinted all of your belongings back at your dorm room ; but it sure didn't feel the same smelling it directly on him.

"Let's skip classes then…" he offered, his words still trailing off before he winced in pain as you pinched his skin.

"Certainly not, it's my favorite" you growled against his chest.

"Sure it's not more interesting to study my body?" he joked, looking down at you just so he could catch your annoyed expression.

"I didn't miss you actually" you resigned yourself, only earning a series of kisses in return. "And I already know your body by heart, nothing more for me to learn."

"You know, time has passed since the last time you saw it, you would be surprised as to how the gym has helped-"

"Shut up and sleep, you won't get what you want. At least not before the end of the lesson we're definitely going to in four hours" you interrupted him as you shut your eyes, inviting him to do the same.

"So you're willing to take your sick boyfriend back to class? When he's fainted? Wow Y/N, I didn't know you could be so heartless" he scoffed, his cheerful voice having retrieved all of its melody now that he was in a resting position.

"You should have slept, not my fault, it's the price to pay" you stuck to your decision, poking his chest lightly while keeping your eyelids closed.

"You should have come back to me sooner if you still loved me that much" he murmured into your ear before he kissed your temple lovingly and as usual, you melted in his two arms that seemed to have regained all of their strength.

"Same goes for you" you grumbled as you finally stared back at him.

His face was so close after having been just a fading memory in your head for so long, and you found yourself having a racing heartbeat as if it was the first time you both were that intimate.

"I love you." Chan then declared solemnly, his right hand that had been in your back coming to sort the wild strands of hair that had fallen before your eyes. "I love you, Y/N."

"I love you, Bang Chan."

Two months and two days after Valentine's day, you were living the most special and romantic moment of your life, as you were secured into the arms of the man you loved and who loved you back, his eyes scanning your face with an enamored spark, his lips gracing yours with intense kisses, his toes playing with yours under the sheets just like any romantic movie would showcase in the scene where the two main characters woke up next to each other in the bed.

Chan had the ability to turn a simple day into one full of love and romance by just being himself, just like he had turned a special day into one with another meaning for the both of you, something deeper, something to celebrate not because the society told you to. And that is how April 16th, became as special in your heart as Valentine's day had once been.