#it's a month away. I'm going to live my dream. unbelievable.

[boyapologist]

cabin crew journey update: they sent us a new e-mail, in which most people got the news that they'll be on stand-by until next year, and the next training class will have 48 students, all choosen by the ranking of their scores throughout the selection

however.... I didn't get that e-mail. the e-mail I got says I'm next in line for the training in november. I AM one of the 48 students.

11 THOUSAND initial applicants for this job.... 11 MONTHS of fighting for it... and I'll be one of the first 48 hired first-time flight attendants. wow.

[stxrvel]

coincidence! (2)

series summary. the holy grail of the seven men who ruled the country's entertainment used to be your friends at school. now, ten years later and between successes and failures, what reason would they have to want to come back into your life? pairing. eventually ot7 x f!reader. content. first of all, english is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes! curse words, we're still on the safe zone, angst if you squint, just silly writing! a/n. hi guys! finally second chapter is out! im blown away with your response!! thank u so much from the bottom of my heart! i loooooved reading your comments <33 pls remember updates are weekly or biweekly! and if you want to be tagged pls say so in the comments! see you next week ;)

series masterlist | bts masterlist | previous | next

“This is unbelievable! We're going to be rich!!!” 

“What makes you think my sister is going to give you any of that money?” 

“I created that Instagram account that was tagged in Kim Taehyung's damn story, I deserve a raise!” 

“What makes you drones think my daughter is going to give you any of that money?”

“None of you are going to get anything out of that act of feigned innocence. Honey, are you all right?”

It seemed like a light had gone on in the room, four pairs of eyes landing on your still pale, surprised face. The night had been heavy after Yuna's call and you'd had so little sleep that you didn't know how you were functioning at the moment. Maybe that was the thing: you weren't functioning at all.

When you woke up, you thought it had all been a bad dream and that definitely the first exposure you'd had to the guys in years hadn't been because Taehyung came across your books at a convention you decided not to go to and uploaded them to his Instagram account with over eighty million followers. It was impossible, wasn't it? Too crazy. 

Maybe not as crazy as waking up to your parents banging on your bedroom door saying that over a hundred thousand orders had been placed overnight and they didn't have enough book production for that much demand. 

Be that as it may, Yuna and your mother took care of the communications on the account. You went from having twenty followers (including your family and friends —your father had created an account exclusively for that and only followed you—), to almost sixty thousand in at least twelve hours. The posts you had worked so hard to create and put together were finally getting the attention they deserved, but it had all happened so fast and suddenly that it was too strong to process calmly. 

Weighing which was stronger, whether Taehyung's acknowledgment of your existence after so many years of zero contact or that your book sales shot up so immeasurably that they couldn't even keep up with demand, even if a month went by, didn't make things any easier. 

“She's obviously still in shock,” Yuna replied to your mother at your lack of response from the living room, right across the dining room where you had been sitting since you had come down from your room. Your breakfast was still untouched on the table, but that seemed to be the least important thing in the room with all the more important news. 

“Have the printers answered yet?” your brother's voice through the speaker of your father's phone rang as you blinked, reality settling too slowly on your shoulders. You didn't even want to think about what it meant that Taehyung had done that. Maybe it was simply an altruistic act, wasn't it? Maybe he felt guilt and wanted to ameliorate it somehow. What better way than to do an act of charity?

“I'm on it,” your father was sitting across from you in the dining room, his laptop on the glass of the table as he moved his hands over the keyboard and stared through his glasses at the full tip of his nose. From the way his eyes narrowed, your mother snorted. 

“Why don't you get those glasses adjusted if you know you don't see well up close, let alone on electronic devices?” the woman reached over, dragging your father's glasses until they were almost glued to his eyebrows. Your father barely gave her a goofy grin as your mother started shaking her hands. “You better move. I'll do it. You write too slow; you're getting on our son's nerves.” 

“Nah, I'm fine. I don't know if y/n is tho.” 

Silence returned and you growled internally. Well, that was enough conjecture and assumptions without any information to substantiate them, it was time to get down to business. 

 “Do you think we should take over this business now?” Yuna completely ignored your stretch and you sent her a confused look. 

Your brother exclaimed from the phone in agreement. “I call dibs on the treasury!” 

“There's no way you can keep the accounts right! You're studying law.” 

“Seojun is good at numbers, Yuna.” 

 “Ha, with all due respect Mrs. I/n, he must only be good at counting sheep.”

 “Hey,” you tried to get attention, getting up from the chair. 

 “y/n, don't talk, you're still in shock. Can you believe he once called me from the supermarket to ask if he got his change right? He didn't even move from the checkout counter. There were people booing him.” 

 “Ow, my poor baby.” 

 “I told you not to say that to anyone!” 

 “I can't keep quiet if they're speaking lies about you!” 

 “This wasn't lies! This is about my pride!” 

 “Nonsense. I'll handle the treasury. I double majored in finance and international relations for a reason.” 

 “You can't run anything without starting bossing everyone around!” 

 “It's not my fault you're a good-for-nothing!” 

 God. It was going to be a long day. 

- 

Sorting out the whole printing issue and the number of orders was difficult, but with a couple of stories, interactions with new followers and express delivery of the few copies you'd already had at home for months, the waters calmed down a bit. Now, in the stifling silence of your room, you wanted to run. 

 “Are you going to stare at the ceiling all night?” 

 “Maybe.” 

Yuna watched you from the bed while all you could do was stare as notifications continued to pop up on your Instagram account and your mail because the requests simply wouldn't stop, even though you had made a thousand clarifications to all the new followers. You were trying to focus on the bright side of things, regardless of whatever reasons there may have been for everything to have happened that way, but with your friend's incessant gaze lying on your bed it made it a little difficult. You knew she wanted to pierce your skull from curiosity, but you wouldn't know how you would answer her questions. 

 “Is there anything you'd like to share with the class?” 

 The tension had become a little more latent during the last few minutes, when Yuna saw a specific notification on the account. Kim Taehyung and Park Jimin had followed you. To describe your look of shock might be an understatement, and all you did for the next half hour was run across the room and throughout the house vociferating that you were living a nightmare. 

 Yuna has known all along that you had never been a fan of the siamese or their clan of friends, but she never knew why exactly. You had to tell her that you weren't interested in fashion, that you didn't like the kind of music Jungkook made, that hip-hop was never your thing, that you weren't interested in dilfs and you weren't interested in dance either. You had to tell her that all the things you once did with them didn't matter to you because it was painful, even if it was hard to accept.

 You couldn't remember the times you would go shopping at the small mall in town to buy the trending clothes to put together different outfits with Taehyung and Jimin, then go try them all on at your house and invite the others and even your parents to do an impromptu runway show. You couldn't remember how the genre of music that Jungkook and you listened to all the time on his iPod and your MP3 player was the same one that his entire music career focuses on. You couldn't remember the nights when Yoongi would share his writings with you and you would help him compose a song or two on the piano when he felt brave enough. Or the times when you would accompany Hoseok to his workouts and then watch him create dance routines to his favorite songs while Jungkook sang in the background. You also didn't want to remember the times when Namjoon and Seokjin would sponsor their trips and give everyone gifts without expecting anything in return. 

You couldn't remember those things. It was too much to bear for such a weak heart. 

“What do you want to know?” you sighed, your body sliding on the chair as the notifications grew. 

“How did all this happen?” 

“Why do you think I have an answer for that?” 

Yuna clicked her tongue, sitting on the bed with the cell phone still in her hands, still staring at the notification that snapped her out of her sanity. 

“It's just… this is all unbelievable, magnificent and unreal. But how come you're not so excited about what happened?” Yuna slid across the sheets, to be right in front of you, but you refused to look away from the computer. Every time you thought you had overcome and grown around everything that happened so many years ago, something would pop up to remind you that you still had a long way to go. Maybe the nostalgia was strong, but so was the anger. “Regardless of how things turned out, because I know you're not as big a fan as me, this opens a million doors for you and I don't know why you're not celebrating it like we are.” 

 “It's…complicated.” 

 “I don't think so. Tell me.” 

Yuna was unstoppable when she wanted to get answers out, but besides the obvious, of course there was something else that bothered you and kept you from enjoying this boom so much. 

 “It's just that all of this doesn't feel like it was a product of my effort,” you began, letting your gaze wander over the desk. The copies of your books you kept for yourself, the first ones you'd ever printed several years ago, lay there, as tattered as your failed accomplishment. “It doesn't feel like an achievement that my work had exploded thanks to a celebrity whose fans would buy even the toilet paper he uses. A lot of those people won't even read the book. They will just buy it and take a picture of it to say that they have the same book that the great Kim Taehyung read. Many of those books will never have a life, they will just be dust collectors and be reminders that all this did not happen because of my effort.” 

“What the fuck are you blabbering about? Of course it's the fruit of your effort! Of course you deserve it!” Yuna got up from the bed and moved the chair around the back to leave you in front of her disgruntled and almost offended face. You could see the words drawn in her face. “You worked so many years to pull this off and after so many bumps you finally can! You deserve to have what you wanted so badly. This recognition will last just the same because many other people will read them and love them and they may not be many, but you will form a solid foundation as time goes on with people who will be truly unconditional and supportive and that will grow over time. Don't look at this so negatively, maybe you skipped a couple of steps, but you had every right to. It was what you deserved after all the effort and dedication you put into this project for so many years.” 

 Yuna didn't hesitate for a second. Her very serious expression sent a shiver down your spine and you could tell from her furrowed brow that she really was angry at your perception. Perhaps she was right, but without knowing the full background of this specific situation, you were only left to shake your head in assent and send her a grateful smile. 

“I guess you're right,” you lifted a shoulder, turning your gaze back to your mail notifications.

“Of course I am!” the smile returned to her face and it didn't take long for her to look back down at her phone with sparkling eyes. “Now that we got the emotional charge out of the way, would you mind telling me how you know Taehyung?” 

Your breathing stopped for a second and you cursed yourself because it sounded too loud as you almost choked on your own saliva. 

“Oh?” 

Play fucking dumb. 

“What, did you think I wasn't going to notice? He wrote it crystal clear.” 

Yuna wasn't even looking at you, too focused on running her finger over the row of notifications. Her nonchalant demeanor only caused you to panic more. It was as if she had caught you red-handed. 

One of the best writers I've ever met in my life, damn you Kim Taehyung. 

“Ah… I didn't… I didn't really know him so let's just say…”

“He couldn't have said that for nothing, don't you think? No celebrity would do that unless it was a person they hold in deep regard.” 

Yuna had just caught you totally off guard. Maybe you should've focused a lot more on what Taehyung had written before you blocked his user from your personal account and threw the phone in the bottom of your drawer the night before and tried hard not to think about the rest for the rest of the night and all that day. 

“It's just that… uhm… we studied at the same school. But for a short time actually. I don't even remember it well actually, ha, ha.” 

Your laugh came out too constrained under your friend's narrow-eyed stare. You knew you'd have a hard time convincing her because you were a lousy liar. 

“You know, it always struck me as odd that you weren't a fan. Taehyung and Jimin are like the two extremes of your ideal type.” 

“Whaaaat?”

“And Jungkook's music is literally the kind of music you listen to, you just don't listen to his. All the other artists in the same genre you do listen to.”

“That has nothing to do with…” 

“And even your parents don't claim to know Kim Seokjin when your mother was literally a nurse. She probably worked with him.” 

“What does that have to do…?”  

“And your brother is a hip-hop fan. How come he doesn't listen to Agust D? He's the best rapper of the last few decades and he's been trending for a long time.” 

“…” 

At what fucking moment? 

“And all of them, plus Hobi and Namjoon, they all went to the same school. They're all friends. And you say you went to school with Taehyung?” 

“Ahm… well, yes, but it's not like I would have met the others.” 

Yuna looked at you, really looked you straight in the eyes as if that way she could tell what it was you were hiding or as if that solved all her guesses. It was impossible for her not to figure it out if she had already tied up all the damn loose ends. 

Since the boys had left one by one, clearly your family was the first to realize how much their departures had affected you. In the beginning there was communication and all, but when Jungkook was the last to leave you lost any kind of link with them completely. You never knew exactly what happened because no matter how hard you tried to contact them you couldn't, not even your parents could talk to the boys' parents. Perhaps they had simply grown up, matured, completely forgetting about their ordinary life in that town. 

They seemed to have disappeared from the planet. 

Until your family moved to the capital. Jungkook was just starting out as an idol, but he had an amazing debut. He had captivated the entire audience and was too successful almost from the second one. It was a torment to watch them grow professionally little by little because, although you were happy for their achievements and all, you couldn't forget that they had basically abandoned you. And your parents and Seojun had noticed. They had noticed how much seeing them all over the place was bumming you out, so unreachable when at one point they were all in your living room eating your mother's delicious kimchi and listening to your father's anecdotes. Everyone was affected by their departures, but clearly no one as much as you. 

That's why, of course, your parents and brother had made a silent vow to keep all media about the boys away from you, because they didn't even talk about it by accident in the house, at least not when you were present. 

“It must be a huge coincidence…” Yuna continued and only at that moment did you realize how much you got into your head. Your vision slightly blurred. “I shouldn't accuse you of anything for things like that, should I? What nonsense.” 

You were probably as white as a sheet of paper. 

“Yeah, it would be too weird… ha, ha.” 

God, you had to stop letting out those giggles when you were nervous. 

“Anyway, should we order fried chicken for dinner?” 

“I think I heard mom say she was going to make japchae.” 

“Ohhhhhh, Mrs. l/n's japchae is delicious!” 

You let out a laugh watching your friend spring up from the bed and head for the door. She stopped halfway out and pointed her index finger at you. 

“Don't tell my mom I said that.” 

You made a gesture to zipper your mouth shut and Yuna finally left. 

The previous conversation had been so tense that you already felt tired and ready to sleep at seven o'clock at night. Really the whole day had been so heavy for everyone that you didn't know how the lights in the house were still on. For now, you couldn't do anything else, even if orders continued to come in, now everything depended on the printer and how fast the books would come out, so you would have to wait. 

Maybe you should rest. You had asked your boss for the day off, but tomorrow you would have to continue working hard. Regardless of the incredible growth you'd had, you couldn't let your work go to waste. 

Tomorrow would be a new day. A quieter one, preferably. 

-

a/n: i'll try to have ready part 3 for next week! see you on june 13 at 11:59 pm - GMT5 time!

tag: @rinkud @futuristicenemychaos @pastelpeachess @parapiop7 @kokoandkookie @midiplier @thunderg @lizzymizzy-blogg @ladymorrie @butnotmontana @lovelgirl22 @jjeonjjk7 @aurorathi @ot7stansthings @kunacat @borahaetelevision @mylovingstars @ghostlyworld @talyaaas-blog @slowlyshycomputer @jjk174 @maynina @saintomie @damn-u-min-yoongi @juju-227592

[harrysmileycostume]

Scenes from an Italian Restaurant

You neared the corner of his kitchen into his living space, bringing your glass of wine with you. You were cooking dinner while Harry wrapped up a work call.

Doing exactly what? You were unsure.

At first, you didn't mind that you were clueless about Harry's occupation. What did it matter? He'd likely dump you in a month, and your memory of him would be the best sex of your life. You had no issue with that.

Three months later, as you stood in his kitchen making your family's penne ala vodka, you were desperate for details. So rather than asking him like a normal person, you were snooping.

Being realistic, you knew it was likely Harry was into some shady shit. He was well-off, yet never spoke about his family, and didn't seem to work much. You came from an Italian family; you knew there were "alternative business opportunities" where you lived. Everyone pretended like there wasn't a mob, but being realistic, where the hell did everyone make their money?

"I know. She's so beautiful, it's unbelievable," he said, nodding. "Mhm, picked her up today."

You blushed. Harry grabbed you from work early this afternoon. You didn't expect him to be talking about you with a coworker.

"Yeah. It'll be sad to let her go," he continued, "but I think I've done a good job keeping her hidden."

You quirked your eyebrow. Wait, what was he talking about?

"With so many connections, I'm gonna have to watch my fuckin' back," he mumbled then. "But the plan is to drop her off Wednesday. And then she'll be gone and not my problem anymore. If they want her, they'll have to find her. My only job at this point is to keep everyone unaware until then."

You froze. Was he talking about his plan to traffick you?

Your head spun and you felt a need to sit down. But you couldn't let on what you'd just heard, no--he'd trap you here. You had no chance of overcoming him physically, you at least knew that from the bedroom. Jesus Christ, the man had the stamina of a marathoner.

You needed to act like everything was fine. And then, in the dead of night, you'd sneak out and run away. Run far from here. Call a cousin and catch a flight. You couldn't tell your family now; they'd try to rescue you, and he could hurt you before they got here.

"Yeah, don't worry. I'll have my fun with her first," he smiled after listening for a while. "She's good. Sexy, mhm."

Your stomach churned, moving back into the kitchen at the stove as you realized the phone call was ending. Your sweet Harry, your dream guy with a mysterious flair. Was he really plotting against you all this time?

"Okay, I gotta go. Bye." He walked into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into him and kissing your cheek. "Baby," he whispered. "Smells so good."

"Thanks," you mumbled.

He pushed hair behind your ear. "All good?"

You nodded. "Yeah, why?"

He shook his head. "You're tense."

You panicked. "Well, I heard you calling someone beautiful," you said, surprised as the words left your lips. Shit--your Italian genes were always getting you into trouble somehow. Why would you let him know you were snooping?

He nipped your ear. "Talking about you, silly," he murmured automatically, spreading his hands all over your body.

Your heart fell into your stomach.

"Dinner almost done?" he asked.

You nodded, turning off the stove. "Why don't you sit, baby? I'll serve you."

"Don't need to tell me twice," he said then, leaving the kitchen without forgetting to give your ass a smack.

If only you knew where he kept some fucking poison.

No--better to just leave things as they are. Go to bed tonight and disappear while he's sleeping. Then, as you jet off to Illinois or Milwaukee or someplace no one would ever voluntarily journey, you can pretend things ended.

Just as you knew they would all along.

That night in bed, Harry drummed his fingers on your thigh. "Y/N," he said softly.

Jesus, would he just fall asleep already? You thankfully avoided sex by telling him you were tired, but maybe you should've gone along with it because now he seemed to be playing chicken.

"Yes?" you replied.

"We've been doing this awhile now," he said.

You scratched your wrist awkwardly under the covers.

"What do you make of it?" he asked when you didn't reply.

"What do I make of us?" you asked back.

"Yeah," he said, nodding.

You bit your lip. If he'd asked you this before today, you would've been elated. Now, you were stuck on what to say.

"I think… I think we can just see where it goes," you said, trying to be nonchalant. "I mean, I care about you, Harry." You nodded, trying to act like you hadn't been scared for your life all evening.

He squeezed your knee, again sending chills up your spine. "I care about you, too," he said quietly, kissing your forehead. "You know that?"

Fuck--why did you mention overhearing him earlier?!

"Yeah," you replied.

He kissed your lips. "Good," he said, finally adjusting and shutting his eyes.

You ran your hand over his chest for good measure.

"'m not calling anyone beautiful but you, baby," he mumbled. "Don't you worry."

Your heart stilled. You needed to wait until he was dead asleep, and bolt.

An hour later, you decided you were either going to go for it or end up six feet under.

So you slipped out of bed, grabbed your phone, and ran. You ran out of his apartment, down flights of stairs, and out of the building. Only when you reached the parking lot did you hear him running behind you.

"Y/N," he called.

Fuck. He was gaining on you.

"Where the fuck are you going?" he asked.

Why did you park so goddamn far away? So much for getting your steps in.

You spun around and held your phone to your chest. "Let me go or I…" you cried, panting. "I… I'll call my family, and they'll fucking kill you." You weren't sure if now was the time for threats, but your strategy evidently wasn't all that great to begin with.

He sighed. "Y/N--"

You kicked him in the shin weakly and then turned around to run and he cringed before grabbing your shoulder and pulling you to him.

"Don't," you bawled as he locked his arms around your waist. "Harry, please. Please don't hurt me," you cried. "If you ever cared about me, just let me go," you sobbed, writhing in his grasp.

He brought you incredibly close, breathing slow and deep against your body. "You really can't break out of this?" he asked you after a second.

"Let me go," you insisted.

"No, try," he said calmly.

You squirmed, wailing.

"Hush, I'm not gonna hurt you," he said quietly. "Bring your hips back. Bend forward."

"Fucking pervert," you cried. "Fuck, let me go!"

"Try," he repeated, "Bend forward and twist around. Use your elbow to break out of my hold."

You finally followed his instructions and he let go of you quite easily.

"Now, are you gonna tell me what the fuck is going on?" he asked you.

"I heard you on the phone," you said.

"Yeah, I gathered that," he replied. "Pissed you off. Gave me some shit about being tired, and now you're begging me not to hurt you in the parking lot of my building."

"You were saying you're gonna drop me off on Wednesday," you cried. "Drop me off and then I'm not your fuckin' problem anymore. Like I'm a pig for slaughter, what the fuck is wrong with you?!" you bawled. "This is what you do, you fucking sicko? You find unsuspecting women to sell to rapists and murderers?"

"I wasn't talking about you!" he exclaimed.

"Oh yeah? I'm not an idiot, Harry," you said, wiping your tears. "Well, maybe I am because I didn't suspect anything until now. But I should've known better for someone like you to be interested in me."

He frowned. "Y/N, don't say that."

"Please just let me leave," you whispered. "Let me go, and I'll tell my family to take care of you. You won't get hurt." That was a lie. You'd tell them to kill him. You couldn't have him kidnapping anyone else.

He screwed his eyes shut frustratedly. "I wasn't talking about you, okay? I was talking about… I was talking about a car for your uncle."

You blinked.

He shrugged. "I stole a Maserati for him. I have to keep it hidden for a while before he drives it or it'll cause suspicion," he said.

You narrowed your eyes. "You're the car guy?" you asked, folding your arms.

He chuckled a bit. "Yeah, I guess you could say that." He cleared his throat. "Took a while for me to prove myself, for them to allow me to approach you."

"What do you mean?"

He sighed. "You know… I was into you. I'd seen you around… I knew your family was connected, and they wouldn't let you be with someone who didn't have their shit together."

"For the record, I can be with whoever I want," you disagreed.

He raised an eyebrow at you. "You think it's a coincidence a gorgeous, smart, sweet girl who's basically a Michelin star chef has stayed single this long?" he asked.

You chewed on your lip. It sounded like you needed to grill your dad next Sunday dinner.

"Anyway," Harry continued, "I worked at the car shop your dad goes to. I kept bugging him about an opening at the business… A year later, I'm stealing cars for a living."

You reddened. You were beginning to realize you had no idea how far this went.

"Once I did the first couple jobs, I asked him if I could take you out sometime. I knew it was only a matter of time til I ran into you again, and I didn't wanna waste my chance," he said.

"And he said yes?" you asked.

"He said to ask you and see what you said," he answered as though repeating from memory. "Which, according to your cousins, is a high compliment."

You paused, taking all this information in. It took a bit to bring yourself back to the present moment, standing in the dark parking lot across from the man of your dreams.

"I'm sorry," you spoke finally.

He smiled, shaking his head. "It's fine. We've just gotta teach you some self-defense," he said. He held his hand out to you and you obliged. He walked you back to his building.

"Do you know how to shoot a gun?" he asked conversationally.

"Are you fucking kidding?"

[according2thelore]

These ES/LS snippets are truly saving my need for more of your fics.

You very quickly became my favorite wincest author, hitting every one of my favorite tropes(hurt/comfort is my bread and butter too!) And I'm excitedly(and impatiently lol) waiting for your next fics to come out.

Your writing is SO GOOD and I find myself going back to your fics all the time. My first was your love potion fic and that's still one of my absolute favorite samdean fics out there.

This isn’t really an ask so much as it is an appreciation lol. Can't wait for your next fic!

(If this was an ask though, I'd love more thoughts on your ES/LS universe and even MORE hurt/comfort and jealousy lol)

BABE???? OH MY????

i don't even know what to say! this is the nicest compliment!!!!! you're so incredibly kind, and i'm so unbelievably honoured that my work is special to you!

EEP! i can't even express how much this ask means to me!!!! there are literally no words!!!! the love potion fic was meant as a fun little add-on to that month's challenge, but i've been blown away by how much folks have liked it--i live for a little melodrama and H/C, lol!

every writer dreams of getting asks like this one, and just ARGH! i'm kissing you on both cheeks!!!!!

as for upcoming things, my next fic will probably be my teen!chesters piece for the wayward sons zine (it will be HEFTY). charlotte and i were outlining this fic, and it ended up being about five pages of outline. so def a larger one!

because this ask was so incredible and lovely and kind (so kind?? holy shit?? my hand in marriage??) i wrote a little thing for you! i hope you like!

dean rubs his hands on the sides of his jeans, before he catches himself doing it. shit.

he crosses his arms, then realizes that he looks awkward and posed, so he uncrosses them again. he pushes his hair back from his face--but fuck, what if his hair looks weird now? dean checks frantically around for a reflective surface, but the only thing even close to him is a giant telescope, and--even though he briefly considers it--there's no way he'd be able to crawl back up it and down in time.

"what are you doing?" he mutters to himself, able to at least recognize that he's acting like a preteen about to meet one of the jonas brothers.

it's just sam.

just sam, kind of, dean's brain quietly corrects. it's just sam, but fucking huge.

it's just sam, but his ridiculous hair has grown and curls softly around his ears, brushes his jaw when he ducks his head. it's just sam, except his arms are bigger than dean's head. dean didn't miss the show the other day when sam came to look for something and lifted a fucking stuffed armchair with one arm.

(dean tried it later, and it took him both hands and two tries to get it off the ground. that thing must be reinforced with some crazy cold war steel or something. definitely.)

dean eyes the main room again. he should just sit at the big table. he eyes the big sword on one of the shelves. no--focus. sam went into "library annex 3" to find a book that he thought dean should absolutely take a look at, and left dean, dazzled, in his wake. so dean is going to sit here and wait, because he's been running out of excuses to see sammy lately.

dean slumps into one of the chairs, sighing. what is wrong with him?

he gets so...easily distracted whenever sammy--future-sam or whatever--starts talking to him. and most of it isn't even his fault, okay? sammy always puffs up whenever either 2006 winchester gets close, a dick-measuring if dean's ever seen one. as soon as sam got a single inch on dean in height, dean's never heard the end of it. but this sammy, older sammy, straightens up and his chest gets all big and--fuck--arms! big arms!!

dean keeps trying to find plausible excuses for sammy to take off his shirt because dean is convinced he has a six-pack under there, and it's his right to know!

"i found it!" a muffled voice from down the hallway, so deep that dean's brain goes a little sideways. and dean feels his whole body lock up, like he's just been thrown out of an airplane.

sam--sammy steps through the doorway, holding up a book triumphantly. his eyes are bright, and he's got little wrinkles at the corners, barely there. his grin is radiant, and dean feels absurdly like he's looking directly at one of those religious frescos with the yellow circles behind everyone's heads. sam would get a kick out of that.

dean whimpers. he straight up fucking whimpers, covering it quickly with a cleared throat.

"great!" he says, too bright. it's not his fault! it's not! dean barely resists the urge to bash his own head in.

so sue him! sam is suddenly huge and old and glad to see dean? he lights up whenever dean walks into a room, greeting him warmly. he seems to find dean adorable, which dean kind of resents, but it's hard to stay mad at sammy when he clearly finds so much delight in seeing him.

and 'sammy' isn't helping. 'sammy' had always been a dean word. it had been an 'us' word, a 'they don't know you like i know you, they can't understand you like i can' word. as soon as dean's own sam--2006 sam--had shrugged off the word, and older sam had donned it, dean knew he was screwed. wires crossed. you can only call so many men 'sammy' before you start to tease them and want to be around them and give them shit and look at their huge fucking tits--wait...no. shit. focus!

"so get this," sammy says, and he slides into the chair next to dean, smooth and graceful and so in touch with every muscle in his body that dean has to catch his breath a little. and his chest does something funny, because sam shows him the book and starts babbling.

he starts babbling. like a two year old sam and an eight year old sam and a twelve and a fifteen and an eighteen year old sam.

it seems impossible that this person--this man, all poise and purpose and focus, whose eyes can cut and soothe, whose stubble scratches when he rubs a hand across his jaw--is still dean's sam. dean's sammy.

and he knows it. and he likes it. this sammy brushes his shoulder and doesn't recoil like it burns. he looks to dean first when something is wrong. dean saw, the other day, how his older self comforted sam after a nightmare, how easily sam contorted himself to fit the shape of older dean's arms. sam likes being dean's. or at least this version of dean.

"anyways, i think that this is probably our most comprehensive record of vampires--their habits, their physiology, their weaknesses. if you wanted to give it a read, i think it'll really come in handy." sam says, still talking like dean cares at all for vampires and not the exact shape of sam's mouth.

dean aches. he feels inadequate. there is something clearly in this dean that is worthy, something that sam finds lovable. or necessary. dean wants to be necessary. dean needs to be necessary.

"yeah." dean says, suddenly, when he realizes that sammy's looking for a response. "that--uh--that sounds great."

"you didn't hear a thing i said, did you?" sammy asks, eyebrow raised, teasing and knowing and fuck--dean's chest collapses. sam knows him.

it's so strange to be known by this...this man. this man who blots out the sun with his shoulders, and has callused hands, and looks at dean like he's proud of him. this man knows him. this man is sammy, and that's all dean every really needs.

"naw." he says, scrubbing a hand in the close-shorn hair at the back of his head, abashed and feeling strange. "'m sorry."

"don't be." sammy rolls his eyes, but it's in good humour. sam--2006 sam, and it's weird that dean has already made that distinction--would genuinely be put out. he thinks dean doesn't take him seriously.

both sams are alien to dean. sam, because his burden is eating him alive. he's terrified of himself, of his powers. furious at what he's becoming and increasingly furious at dean for not taking his own safety seriously. like sam could ever hurt him.

and this sammy, of course, is different. he's physically very different, but also...softer? that's the wrong word. he's easier, maybe. his smiles are soft and he thinks through things before he says them. he doesn't hurt to hold in your hand like sam does, all spikes and hard edges like rock that resents you for holding it. sammy is a stone worn smooth by a river, and dean doesn't know if that makes him a bad brother.

he doesn't want to know, because he can't think about this being another way of failing sam. dean's been failing sam since that first over-long look in 1995.

this sam, at least, dean has a reason for not understanding completely. time has made a stranger of his brother, not circumstance, and time is easier to blame.

"what?" sammy asks, and dean snaps back to the present, abashed again. god. it's like his first fumbling date a fourteen all over again. but wait, no it's not--why did dean think that?

"nothing. sorry. you're just--" dean can't find the words. sammy seems delighted at this, eyes sparking with a challenge like they're both in on a joke.

"i'm..." he prompts, drawing it out. dean sputters. he and sam give each other shit all the time. it shouldn't feel different with this sam, but...it does.

"hi."

dean jerks away, sitting up straight in his chair. sam stands in the doorway. he looks pissed. his hands are balled into fists at his sides, his jaw is set, and he's...not looking at dean.

dean looks to sammy, whose eyes widen. he seems surprised by something. proud of something.

"dean wants to know if we're ready for dinner. what are you doing?" sam asks, words loaded. dean's about to jump in, feeling weirdly guilty. they're just talking about a book, it's not like they were--

"just talking with my little brother." sam says, jostling dean's shoulder with his elbow, like this is all a big joke but what the fuck?? dean's spine melts and drips down his ribs. oh my fucking god.

little brother little brother little brother sam could pin dean down if he wanted to, dean looks down at sam's huge fucking hands oh my god, little brother--

"you--" sam starts, and sammy sits up straighter, tilting his head forward like he's coaching sam through something, but sam's eyes are suddenly on dean, and dean freezes.

he doesn't know what to do under sam's critical gaze. the weight in his stomach is definitely guilt, but dean doesn't know why. dean looks away first.

"we're just talking shop, sam." dean says to his hands. a pause. dean hears sam leave, his footsteps echoing down the corridor.

he better not be going to see that old geezer. dean doesn't like he way he looks at sam.

"we almost had him," sammy says, thoughtful. dean looks up, and sammy is looking down at him with an expression so fond that dean's throat closes. "next time."

dean's heart beats faster.

oh man. he is so fucked.

[completeoveranalysis]

Remind me - are you an academic of some kind? I’m considering a phd (I’m ahead heavily involved in research) and I’m wondering how you made the career choices you have

I used to be! I worked at university and studied until I had my Master's Degree, but that's as far as I went.

I don't think I'll say anything you don't already know but a PHD is such a huge undertaking that it becomes quite a big decision, and what you decide will depend on quite a lot of factors - like, the field you're studying, the career prospects it will give you, your age, where you are in the world, where you want to be, what else you have going on in your life, your stress levels, how well you adapt to the study, etc etc etc. It ends up being a very personal set of conditions that only you can decide if it's right for you.

I'll put the rest under a read more because it starts to get a little long:

For myself, I decided not to do a PHD for several reasons.

For one, it would have meant having to study abroad. My field only had a few experts in the country, and I had already studied under most of them, so I would have had to go across the globe to actually be eligible of a degree people took seriously - I wasn't ready to leave the country at that stage of my life.

For another, I was studying in a field that would have meant that the only job I would be eligible for after I graduated would have been a University Lecturer, and almost nothing else. (And those positions can be hard to get, especially in a field where people cling to their positions for their entire lives if possible). Once I had the PHD I would have been over qualified for anything that wasn't Lecturer or above, and I wasn't sure if I that was a job I would even enjoy.

And lastly, I'll be very honest, the stress was incredible. That won't be the same for everyone, but the various factors I had going for me at the time meant that it took months, if not years, to properly unwind myself from the stress spirals I had molded myself into, and it was a very long time until I learned how to relax again without the constant threat of deadlines hanging over me. Even then, there are huge gaps in that time that I don't remember - friends I don't remember ever talking to (even though I have seen proof that we spoke every day), others who considered me a close friend that I don't remember ever actually befriending, and so on.

In short I was a bit of a mess! I needed a break from study before even considering going back, and once I was away from it I never actually found myself wanting to return to the lifestyle, even though I really loved the study itself.

So! I'm not sure if any of that is helpful, but I hope it can be at least one example of what one other person did in your situation. You might evaluate all the factors and decide that PHD study would be a great fit for you and your goals, or maybe it's not, but I only you will know the details well enough to know for sure. (And life is long, so there's always time to go back if you need more time to decide)

What I can say is that I've made myself very happy in the path I chose to take - unbelievably so, if I really think about it. I don't think I'll ever go back for a PHD at this point, but my life has come together in other ways I never would have been able to dream of back then, and they wouldn't have happened if I had stayed. So, it's very safe to say that happiness is possible down either path!

[daddysfangirls-marvel]

Scars (29)

Chapter 29 - children

Loki sat back in the corner of the jet, slumped, exhausted, and in a daze like everyone else. It seemed as if only Clint and Tony were safe from the girl's torture. Loki didn't know they had landed until he saw everyone filing out. He slowly followed behind everyone, looking at the ground. He bumped into the back of Thor as everyone came to a stop by the porch; turning back at Loki, Clint looked very serious.

"Listen-"

"This is your family's farm. Your wife and children live here. It's a well kept secret. I won't hurt anyone nor will I tell"

"When did you find out?" Clint asked more concerned than surprised that he knew.

"I saw it during New York when I took a look in your head."

"So you've always known but said nothing?" Steve asked

"I've know longer than the rest of you. I did not and do not wish to harm your family. If you want I can go else where..." Loki didn't know where he would go but he won't stay somewhere he was not wanted nor would make anyone uncomfortable specially at a time like this.

"no, you're okay. I trust you... to an extent."

"Fair enough".

Clint opened his front door and was immediately greeting his beautiful pregnant wife. Loki stood back as all the Avengers greeted the family. Laura stepped around him. "I don't know whether to slap you or shake your hand."

"I deserve the first but would like the second ... you have another 5 months before your child is born. Would you like to know the gender?"

"It's a boy, right?" she whispered making sure Natasha couldn't hear

"correct. A very health one at that"

"Oh, you know what that means? More mini Hawkeyes and bow and arrows."

"Actually, I think this one will take more after his aunt. Be prepared for ballet classes and gymnastics."

"Thanks, softens the blow."

"Warning the future godmother is coming."

"hey" Natasha said as she stepped between the two she did not like how casual they suddenly were. She hugged Laura and rubbed her swollen belly " how's my little Natasha doing".

Laura looked sheepishly " she's ... Nathaniel" Natasha's smile was immediately wiped from her face she bent down to Laura's belly and whispered

"traitor"

Loki and Laura laughed. He watched the other Avengers play with the children he could see their fears and pain slowly fading away. All was well all but Thor. He stood in the back of the room like Loki but he looked more concern and in thought. Suddenly he started walking out the door he and Steve followed.

"Thor!"

"I saw something in that dream. I need answers. I won't find them here" with that he spun his hammer and flew off. Steve sighed and turned back to the house

"He's not going to like his answers," Loki said. Steve stopped by the thrush hold. "They were a nightmare, Captain. It's best not to dwell on them. They'll be consuming ... trust me, I know."

-

Steve and Tony were outside chopping wood, Natasha, and Bruce upstairs cleaning themselves up, Clint was outside fixing the porch with his son Cooper, and Loki and Laura were in the kitchen cooking and the Barton's daughter Lila in the living room reading a back.

"Thank you for helping with dinner" Laura said

"It's no problem. I don't mind I've been through the motions I know it gets difficult " Laura raises an eyebrows in his direction " I have three children myself" he say" he says not looking up from cutting vegetables " Fenrir, Jormungandr, and Slepinir ... I actually mothered Slepinir for 11months pregnant not fun" Laura almost dropped the pan she was putting in the oven But Loki swooped in and saved the day putting it in the oven.

"Oh my god, 11 months, how? why? I'm barely getting through 9″

"It's a long story"

"Dinner isn't for a few more hours. We've got time."

-

"That's... oh my god... I don't know what to say" Laura was left speechless. She didn't know whether to pity him for how he got his children or congratulate him for having the children. It was just ... an unbelievable story.

"you don't have to say anything. Just know I've been on both sides of the parenting thrush whole ... Also maybe the others shouldn't know where my children come from"

"Of course".

Even though Laura did have a nice conversation and they were on an understanding level she was still pissed about what he did to her husband. But his children and charm let her grudge melt away. Though that didn't mean she trusted him or anything. Just that she'd give him a chance.

After telling Laura his story, Loki began to think about the day he told Alice about his children.

It was a late Saturday night or maybe very early they were both curled up cuddling on her couch watching Michiko & Hatchin an anime show the two had grown fond of. It was a show about a woman going through South America on a scooter looking for her first love along the way she finds his daughter from another woman and she tags along. The two continue through south America together following the trail he left behind and meeting new people.

"Isn't it just beautiful" (y/n) says as the end credits being

"what is?" Loki asks

"Their relationship. Hatchin is the child of her lover when she finds her she doesn't hesitate she take her then and there and keep her as her own. And then as they travel Michiko slowly starts to fall in love with her.... I like it"

"You seem to really like children"

"Even though I've never actually been around or seen children, I read many books and have seen videos."

Loki leaned back a bit and cleared his throat this next question was a bit personal and uncomfortable to ask seeing as their relationship was still unlabeled." Um.. do-do you want kids. In the future I mean" (y/n) was not at all uncomfortable with the question nor did she process why he asked. "I'd love to be a mother to have children I think it would be wonderful."

The two fell into silences Loki into his thoughts and (y/n) the next anime show on TV.

Taking a deep breath Loki suddenly blurred out "I have children" shocking (y/n). She didn't say anything he waited for a late reaction. Maybe it wasn't the best time to tell her.

"How many?" she finally asks. "What are your names? How old are they? Where are they? Who is their mother? .... oh my gosh, are you married? Oh my gosh, I kissed a married man. That's not good. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" (y/n) began to cry and hyperventilate Loki watched all her emotions rushed through her in less than a minute.

At a young age, Tony drilled the thought of cheating and how wrong it was into (y/n) head. The way he taught it was to kiss to touch to share secrets, or have emotional connections to someone when you have another person. You're supposed to be doing this when you're betraying that person, your significant other, by giving another the attention you're supposed to give them. That- that was cheating, that was wrong, that was so wrong.

(Tony omitted the fact that he did not hold himself to these values when he gave them)

"I'm not married, I'm not married, I have no wife there is no cheating. It's just me and you" Loki pulled her into a hug and stroked her hair calming her down.

"I have three children. Fenrir, Jormungandr, and Sleipnir, and well, they're much older than you." he chuckled a bit. " Sleipnir, my youngest, is with Odin. Fenrir is my eldest, but I don't know where he is; Jormungandr is my middle child. I don't know where he is, either. Which is probably bad parenting. They all had different mothers... I'm not married, never have been, but hope to be someday" (hint, hint). Loki kissed her cheek.

"Tell me more about your children" and he did he told her everything about his children, their up bringing, and their mothers or in Sleipnir case father. She didn't interrupt or question until the end.

Thinking about Alice now brought pain into his heart. He knew the moment physically she was safe, but emotionally and mentally, she was very hurt. If only he could get to her.

[obxthornton]

Chapter 7

WC: 4126

I woke up next to the devil.

His lips were parted slightly, his hair messy on his forehead from the pillow and his eye bags were already puffy. He was snoring ever so softly and it made me Remember the devil was once an Angel.

So, I woke up next to an angel.

I didn't remember any of the moments before truth or dare, but everything after that was etched into my mind.

We didn't do anything more than sleep in the same bed together not for any certain reason. It had been around 8 am and I was sipping on some water when an arm snaked around my waist and Luke Hemmings whispered into my ear groggily, "Come to bed with me, yeah?"

So I did.

And now I'm here, staring at his pale skin waiting for him to wake up. The clock on the dresser said 11:57 and if he didn't wake up soon, I'd have to go home without saying goodbye. I wanted to say goodbye though. I wanted his eyes to stare back at me just for a second to make sure this entire thing wasn't a dream.

But his breath stayed steady as he didn't even bat an eyelash.  So I rolled out of bed and walked out of Calum's room into the living room. Only Michael remained in the living room, cleaning up. Calum and Maddie we're probably still asleep somewhere.

"Morning," Michael said groggily grabbing a bother of Advil and throwing it to me. I caught it, and poured two into my hand, tossing it back with no water.

"Thanks. I'll talk to you guys on Monday." I said slipping on my shoes.

"Later," Michael said continuing to stuff trash into his trash bag.

I walked out of the front door and down the road. I didn't remember who drove me over here but I knew they weren't here now. Calum barely lived three blocks away from me so I didn't mind walking. Maybe it would cure the hangover.

I walked home and through the front door. Dad's car wasn't in the driveway so I assumed he either a.) went out to breakfast or b.) left for a month.

Anyway, I walked upstairs into my room, got changed into Pajamas, and hopped back in bed. Nothing but an Angel on my mind as I drifted to sleep. ~~~~~~~

When I woke up at the banging sound at my window my room was black. How I managed to sleep until almost 6 was unbelievable to me. And even more unbelievable was the banging coming from my window.

I groaned and rolled out of bed rubbing my eyes. A face was perched in the window startling me.

I huffed as I opened up the window, Luke hemmings was sitting on my roof, rain pouring on his head. "You must have an awfully good reason to wake me up hemmings," I said glaring at the boy. "You know how much I love to sleep during rainy weather."

He didn't say anything just stared at me.

"Are you going to come in or sit there in the rain like an idiot?" I asked giving him a sarcastic smile: why was he acting so weird?

He didn't say anything again but grabbed my neck and pulled it towards him, kissing me through the window.

Shit. 

I forgot.

The kiss was sweet and long. Not a drunk sloppy one like last night or like our break up kisses, it was a normal relationship kiss. One I had craved since the beginning of the year.

Luke pulled away slowly his eyes still Closed. He looked up at me through those eyes I wanted to see this morning, scanning my face for any sort of reaction.

I didn't have one.

"Well, you don't want to catch a cold," I said lightly.

He shook his head lightly, "No I don't." 

He didn't move though, and neither did I. We just stared into each other's eyes like it was the only way we would survive.

"I missed you." I barely whispered. I don't know if it was audible to his ears but he seemed to read my lips.

"How did we end up here?" He asked at the same level. I shook my head lightly, "I don't know."

Thunder boomed in the near distance causing me to jump lightly, knocking me out of my trance. "I'll get you a towel." I turned around and walked into my bathroom grabbing a towel from the cabinet. I took a shaky breath and walked out, Luke was closing the window.

I handed him the towel, he thanked me and dried off his hair and clothes.

I took a seat on my bed, holding my pillow on my lap. 

"What are you doing here?" I asked breaking the silence.

"You were gone when I woke up." He stated throwing the towel on my chair.

"I had to get home," I said.

He just nodded.

There was so much tension. The air was thick with it. I didn't know if that was the reason why it was so hard to breathe or the fact Luke was just standing there.

"You can uh.. sit down," I said moving over to lean against the wall giving him space. He slowly moved to sit on my bed at an awkwardly far length.

"I'm sorry about Liam." He said.

"No your not." I said back earning a quiet shake of the head from Luke, "No I'm not." Silence filled the room again.

It was unbearable.

"4 years, 6 months, and 12 days," Luke said quickly staring at my mom's guitar hung on the wall.

"What?" I asked.

"4 years, 6 months, and 12 days. We dated for 4 years, 6 months and 12 days. I always pretended like I didn't know how long we dated but I knew it down to the days." He breathed out.

I bit my bottom lip anxiously, " 8 months and 19 days." 

He turned and looked at, "That's how long we've been broken up." I said avoiding his eye contact.

"Hopefully that number will stop one day." He whispered.

I nodded, "hopefully."

"I'm sorry. About everything. The fight, Jasmine, your song, everything." Luke said. I met his eyes this time nodding, "I know you are." I said.

"I don't care how long it takes you to forgive me, I'll earn it back one day okay? I promise you that." He said, a begging look in his eye.

"Keep the song," I said.

"What?"

I laughed shortly, "I remembered last night why you came up with that song." Luke looked at me confused, as far as he was concerned he wrote that song himself, 

"When we took a break, after Jasmine, you came to my house drunk on a Tuesday. I didn't want you going home to your mom like that so I told you that you could sleep in my bed. You were so wasted that you told me to sing you a song to help you fall asleep. So I sang you the song I wrote thinking you'd never remember it." I laughed slightly rubbing my face. 

"I am so sorry Geo," Luke said guilt on his face.

I shook my head, "like I said, keep it. Put it on your first record when you guys get big."

"I'll put your name front and center on the song credits." He said.

"I'll be counting on it." I smiled.

I hadn't even known that we had moved closer together until I could feel his breath on my face.

"I missed you too."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday morning I rushed around the kitchen, trying to grab anything and everything to shove into my mouth as some form of "breakfast." Kiara would be here in minutes and I was starving.

"Don't choke please," Dad said from the kitchen table. Surprisingly enough on Saturday, he was going to get a late breakfast and not halfway across the world.

A knock at the door sent me to look at the time, gosh Kiara had probably been waiting forever and thought I was dead.

I jogged to the door, toast crumbs were on my lips and my mouth was full. I opened the door and it was not Kiara, but the man from Friday's gig.

My face fell as I quickly swallowed my food and wiped my mouth. "Hi," I said giving the man a small smile.

"Georgina summers, Hi I'm Justin Garcia from BB records. Can I come in?" He asked motioning inside the house. Fuck school.

"Of course! My dad's just in the kitchen." I said opening up the door completely so he could walk in. He thanked me as he walked into and towards the kitchen.

"Justin! How are you, man." Dad said shaking the man's hand.

"Great as always I just wanted to stop by and talk to you and your daughter," Garcia said taking a seat at the table. I took a seat next to Dad and tapped my foot anxiously on the ground.

"Now Ms. Summers your father tells me you have no plan yet for after high school?" He asked.

"That's correct sir. I didn't want to be set on a university just yet until I had all my options opened to me." I stated.

"Well, I'm here to offer you an option. I'm one of the managers for BB Records located in Vancouver Canada and BB Records wants to sign you for a 5 year contract. That's looking about a 3 album deal, 2 North American tours, and one world tour. Depending on the outcome of things."

My hand shot over my mouth as I turned and looked at my dad. Dad just smiled at me, sick bastard already knew.

"Now I don't need a decision now-"

"Yes," I said.

"Yes?" Garcia questioned.

"Yes yes, 100 times yes," I said, a huge smile across my face.

Garcia looked at my dad who shrugged, "You heard the women. She said Yes."

Garcia smiled and held out his hand which I shook, "Welcome to the BB family. I'll be in contact with you guys for the legal work."

"Thank you, Mr. Garcia," I said.

"You going To be a legend, summer." He said giving me a brief smile. "You two have a good day."

Dad saw the man out and as the door closed he turned to me, his words laced with pride, "That's my daughter!" 

I didn't hear his words as I stared down at his phone. A picture appeared with the caller's name Sarah. A picture of him, a woman, and a young boy, maybe the age of 3.

"Who's Sarah," I asked not bothering to look up from the phone.

"No-no one honey." He said laughing in between his words.

"That's not Mom's wedding ring is it," I stated more than asked.

"I was going to tell you when the time was right but-"

"You have an entirely different family!" I yelled at him standing up. "You leave me alone in this house for months. Alone. I cook, I clean, I do everything! For the last 4 years, I have lived at home without you so that you can go play house with some bitch?"

"Don't call your stepmother a bitch."

"Oh boo, you whore." I said rolling my eyes and grabbing my backpack, "bitch bitch bitch. Sarah's a bitch." I said. I slid open the answer Button On the phone call, holding the phone up to my mouth, "your a bitch." I said into it before hanging up.

"Georgina!" My dad yelled at me.

"I've been alone!" I yelled my voice breaking, "I have been without a single parental figure For four years Dad!" My voice cracked, "four years."

I pushed my way past him as I walked out the front door slamming it.

Kiara parked in the driveway sticking her head out the window, "Come on!" She yelled. I walked to the passager side door opened it, got in, and didn't say a word as we drove to school.

"I hate to ask," Kiara said.

"Dad has a wife. A kid." I said, "No business trips, just another family."

Silence filled the car once again, and for once I welcomed it.

~~~~~~~~

"I can't believe we're graduating in a few weeks, I mean That's insane," Michael said.

Calum stood up out of his seat looking around at our lunch table, arms out slightly. "I have some big news. Guess who gets to walk the stage? Me and my buddy Luke Hemmings over here!"

Maddie and the guys whooped and cheered. Who's dick did he suck to be able to do that? He sat down quickly, "I still have to take summer school though." 

The boys and Willow said a collection of "same." And a few murmurs.

"What about you Gigi? What did you decide to do after school?" Maddie asked.

I messed with my fingernails, picking at the skin around them. "Canada," I said lightly.

Luke laughed, "Canada? Thought you were more of an America kind of gal."

I shrugged, "that's just where the label is." 

"Label?" Luke asked.

"Shut up," Maddie said across the table.

"You didn't," Willow said a crazy smile on her face.

"What! What did she do?" Michael asked leaning across the table.

"BB Records signed me on a 5 year contract this morning," I said giving a small side smile.

Maddie screamed and practically jumped across the table to hug me. Willow hollered and cheered and Kiara just had the biggest smile on her face.

"Hell yeah!" Ashton yelled banging on the table. "Rock star Georgina Summers!" Calum yelled. "Shit Gigi that's awesome!" Michael said.

"What the fuck!" Luke yelled as Maddie pulled away, him now pulling me into a tight hug. He kissed the side of my head as he pulled away, he held my face between his hands smiling widely at me. "That's amazing! I'm so proud of you."

I smiled back at his words taking in every ounce of his face. "Thank you, Luke.

"What the fuck." Willow said making me turn to look at my friends who were staring at me and Luke.

"that's new," Calum stated 

"Did you just call him Luke?" Maddie asked.

"Called it!" Willow said banging on the table, "They hooked up. Ashton, $10!"

I watched as Ahston sighed and pulled out his wallet.

"We will get back to you and Luke. But right now we're talking about BB. They saw you at Jordan's?" Kiara asked.

I nodded and shrugged, "Yeah. Came by the morning And asked how I felt about it."

"That's some dream come true stuff right there. Imagine if that happened for our band." Calum said hitting Ashton's shoulder. Ashton smiled lazily and daydreamed about the day 5 seconds of summer would be signed to a record label.

"I am happy for you." Michael smiled at me.

"Thank you guys it means a lot. You all Can visit me in Canada alright?" I smiled.

They nodded lightly.

I can't believe everything was ending. Two weeks left of school, and it would all be done. The boys would stay here, Kiara to America, Maddie to England, Willow to Spain, and me to Canada. It made me wonder what would happen to us.

Your head the stories of best friends in high school who never stay best friends. They grow up and move on.

It only made me wonder, in the next 5 years, when my contract with BB Records ran out, who would I still talk to, and who would I pass on the street?

----

Dad left.

The only thing left was an envelope of cash on the fridge and a note that said CALL GARCIA.

So I picked up the phone and dialed the number on the card, placing it up to my ear.

"Hello?" Garcia said.

"Hey!" I wiped my eyes lightly, "Uh it's Georgina Summers? My dad told me to call you?" 

"Gigi! Perfect. I just wanted to call and talk to you about moving everything forward." Garcia said into the phone. Forward? We were already moving so fast. I mean, a few days ago I went down to his Sydney office and signed the papers. I was set to start in June, which was only weeks away. 

"Forward?" I asked.

"Yes. I talked to your school and you're able to still get your high school diploma if you leave a few weeks early." A few weeks early? How much earlier could I already leave, I mean there were only a few weeks more of school.

"Uhh... okay? I mean how much is earlier?" 

"Sunday."

"Sunday? As in this Sunday?"I asked.

"Georgina, you'll realize this whenever you start learning more about the music business, it's all a race. You have a unique voice and if you don't start soon, someone else is going to come, slightly better, and steal your stardom beneath your feet before you can even move to Canada." 

I shook my head lightly, pressing my tongue to the inside of my cheek.

"Can you do that?" He asked at my silence.

I looked over to the fridge, and a photo of the 8 of us was hung up with a magnet. It was from about a year ago, Willow had Ashton in a headlock on the grass. Kiara and Michael were sitting on the grass staring up at Maddie who was on Calum's shoulders screaming at Calum to put him down. I was hung from Luke's waist upside down laughing as Luke held my back in support laughing down at me also.  Luke's mom took the photo I think, I wasn't sure.

"Yeah." I muttered, "That should be fine."

~~~~~~~

"Hey," Luke said opening up the front door slightly so I could step in.  We were finishing our questions today and then we'd do our essays on our own summarizing our experiences and what these results mean.

"Hey," I said back.

Lately, it was weird but also not weird between me and Luke. It was just new. Us not hating eachother, but also not in a relationship. So it was just kinda weird.

I walked to his room and sat down on the corner of his bed opening up my journal from my backpack. He sat done on the other end lying against the headboard.  "Ready for this project to be over?" He asked.

No.

"Yeah," I muttered lightly flipping to the questions I had written down.  I scanned over the questions and landed my eyes on question 16.

"What is your favorite core memory?" I asked him. 

Luke's eyebrows scrunched for a second as he thought. He smiled just a tad.

I knew my answer to the question. It was an easy one, it happened two years ago when we were in

"grade 10." Luke said finishing the words I had only spoken in my head, "We were going to a formal at some school that wasn't even ours but you found the event on Facebook and RSVP for us to go. And then we got kicked out and had to walk home all the way from the other side of town because we didn't want to call my mom to pick us up."

I couldn't help but smile alittle bit and scribble down the answer, "I'd say we're getting better at this agreeing thing."

2/16 was a horrible score, but it was good for us.

"Lemme read one," Luke said easing across to grab the notebook. "There's no question twenty." He stated. I looked at the paper and shrugged. 19 questions didn't have that good of a ring to it.

He scanned his eyes down the paper, "Okay. Finish this statement, I wish I could have someone to share my blank with." He looked up at me, "we can answer at the same time for This one I guess." He put down his fingers one by one counting down.

"Experiences." 

"Experiences."

Silence filled the space between us and I just nodded. "3/17." 

"What's one thing we're always short of?" He asked.

I thought back to the phone call I had made earlier. "Time," I mumbled.

Luke just nodded handing back the notebook, "4/18."

The last question.

The last question and then the group aspect of the project was over. One more question and then no more surface level deep conversation with Luke, no more reason to come to his house, no more reason to hang out with him. One last question and I would be halfway across the world. One more question and me and Luke would be strangers. Because the one thing we lacked was time.

"What is one thing you regret letting go," I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

We didn't answer the question. 

Our eyes lingered on eachother for what seemed like minutes as we held the same expression.  Luke Hemmings was beautiful in this moment.

"5/19." He whispered.

~~~~~~~~~

Friday I walked into my English class before school to hand in my English project.  It was due on Monday but I was leaving on Sunday so I decided to turn it in early rather than never at all.

"Hi Mr. Corder, I just wanted to give you my essay," I said holding it out to him. He smiled at me and grabbed it placing his glasses over eyes scanning over the work.

"You and your partner both turned it in early, I'm impressed." He said placing it on the table.

My eyebrows scrunched, "Luke turned his in already?" I asked.

The teacher nodded, opened up a folder, and pulled out an essay scribbled on the back of a math homework assignment. "I never specified what paper to write it on." He mumbled, his eyes scanning over the essay.

"However I was quite surprised with the quality of his essay. You two are close, no?" He asked.

I shrugged, "use to be."

He Ahhed in recognition before setting the paper down on his desk and sliding it across the table. "Then I suggest you bring this paper back to my next period."

I stared down at the essay. Luke hemmings name was sprawled at the top in red ink. I shouldn't. 

"Next period?" I gulped likely.

"Next period." He repeated.

I couldn't.

I slid the paper into my hands folded it on the already made crease and stuffed it into my pocket. 

But I did.

Mr. Corder just nodded at me as I turned around and walked quickly out of the room.

I mean, it was just an English essay. Nothing more. Luke wouldn't care if I took a look at it I'm sure.

I walked outside of the school not bothering if I was late or missed 1st period entirely. I slid down the brick wall until my legs touched the ground.   Sliding the paper out of my pocket, I opened it and read the entirety of the essay. I always hated Luke's handwriting.

Luke hemmings  Period 4 English 4 OL Essay 

My partner for this assignment was Georgina Summers. During this assignment, I learned that she and I are nothing alike. Out of 19 questions we had 5 similar answers. We couldn't agree on the simple things like what was better, pirates or ninjas (ninjas obviously.) Me and Georgina were nothing alike and were two totally opposite people. We have the same favorite memory. I don't care if we agreed on if the earth was flat or not, I care that we have the same favorite memory. This test was a load of bullshit (sorry). It did not show the compatibility of the testers or the likeness, it was just some bullshit (sorry) English assignment to get us to talk about our feelings. I may not agree on what the best song in the world is, but I knew her answer before the words Activity Grrrl came out of her mouth. I don't think Converse is better than Vans but I know the color of every pair in her closet. I know how much she loves iced coffee because every Thursday before school all grade 9, she would get a medium iced coffee and bring me a small hot coffee. I knew she believed in fate because she used to say fate made her move here. I never believed in fate because if it was so real, why did it bring us apart? One of the answers we did agree on was that we were running out of time. She was leaving soon so that's why I did the essay early because I knew if she left before I started it, I'd never finish it. So Fuck (sorry) fate for bringing her into my life because it hurts to see her go. So at the end of this, yes we only agreed on 5/19 questions, but none of those matter. It doesn't matter if we got 0/20 similar because I knew the answer before it came out of her mouth. So screw the nineteen questions, the last question I needed answered is what happens now.  We were so close. 

One Rubix cube moves away.  One puzzle piece to go. One more question. It was a tied game and we were left in overtime. 

Time left on the clock: the rest of our lives.

THE END

[bbael]

hiii 🖤 i missed u,,, I’ve wanted pop by and say hello for so long now and always think of you <3 but i have been generally dead to the world for a little while now sdjsdjsdj im fine tho !! but life has just been beating my ass fr these last couple months 💀

anywho !! here i am using my last ounce of energy to lovingly scribe you a message, written in my own fair blood of course, on an ancient parchment,,, but the little bat i paid (in beetles) to deliver you my letter got lost; so im forced to type my message to u here instead, which will have to do 🙄 (sillyness)

but how have u been dearie!! i myself have not been up to much during my expiring, but the sun has started to come out again, and the bluebells where i live have started to bloom, and my pet doggy is loving to sunbathe, so those things are good. i saw a concert too the other month and have another booked for next year ! and am contemplating booking einstürzende neubaten for later this year, but i genuinely have nobody to go with that could stand it 😭

as always and forever, love u lots, and hope you have been well,, i feel so bad for not messaging for so long now, but please know i have thought of you every day 🖤 sending many of hugs, & till later my dear !! 🖤

Hiii oh my god, getting this ask a couple weeks(?) ago was such a relief hon because I was starting to think you were actually dead, like not even kidding I was concerned 😭 so good to hear that at the very least u lived and are well enough to make it to here my humble ask box.....

Literally praying for the bat bc girl is he okay :((

But I'm glad over your side of the world things are getting warmer, I yearn for the sun as much as your doggy might tbh :(. (Puppy sunbathing is such a wonderful visual too omg...)

Hope you're spending lots of time outside and making the most of it! Here's cooling down pretty fast and I'm shivering 24/7, I hate it and hate being bundled up in 500 layers >_<.

I can't believe you have the chance to see EN this year omg... I would so go with you 🥹🖤 ur hanging out with the wrong ppl hon..... I hope u can still go though, live my dream please~

& how are you now?? You still half-dead and busy or already doing better? 🥺 I need more updates, felt like forever truly..

My life has not been super exciting either....

Idk if i got to tell you about my latest development which was that a while ago I started working as a prof, finally. Had it coming for years but felt so damn unprepared.... it's been embarrassingly easy though, I'm very happy with how things turned out and just getting 2 hours here, 1 hour there at different schools for very short term periods while I keep my half-time on the place I was already working at 🥹 sounds busy as hell but it might be the most free time I've had in years lol.

I'm sorry if I already told you that btw, can't remember at all and I must sound like a broken record if I did ahhh

I'll also be moving couple provinces away soon which is,,, amazing...unbelievable even! But I'll update on that as it happens bc I really am too anxious to even think bout it atm lmao

Anyhow,, I really really I'm so unbelievable glad to read from you my dear 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 you have no idea,, I was sending my little moths to find you 😔💔🥀 holding u in my arms tightly so I don't lose sight of u as easily omg.

Really hoping things are well over there and that you are having a much easier time now ;w; sending literally all my love like leaving none for nobody else, mwah 🫀

[soyouthinkucanwrite]

The money thing (part 2/2) - Daniel Ricciardo

Warnings: SMUT! angst, confrontation... and more SMUT!

This is it, guys! Buuut... I think I'm gonna keep this story going, what do you say? Shall we find out about how shopping with Charlotte goes, and the party, and just how (y/n) handles this new dynamic overall? As always, let me know what you think! Read part 1 here!

When you got back at home, you were barely inside the apartment and Daniel was already pushing you against the door, kissing you passionately. You go down the corridor half kissing, half walking, Daniel chasing you all the way. You run to his room and then inside the shower, taking off your sweaty clothes on the process. You guys get under the shower and the feeling of the chill water along with Daniel’s kisses on your skin is just too good.

“You’re unbelievable” he says, letting your feet touch the ground again. You wash each other clean after that, running your hands through each other’s body and memorizing every curve, every detail.

“You’re unbelievable” he says, letting your feet touch the ground again. You wash each other clean after that, running your hands through each other’s body and memorizing every curve, every detail.

After a while, you get out of the shower, dry your hair quickly then wrap yourself in a towel. You go to your toiletry bag on the sink and take your toothbrush out, brushing your teeth while Daniel finished showering. Then you take your hair cream and put some on, your hair is really starting to feel the damage with all this boy’s shampoo, you think. Then you take some skin serum and apply some drops on your face, spreading lightly. Man, you missed skincare and it missed you. Last step: body lotion. Daniel gets out of the shower and you know he's watching you.

“Why you’re pampering yourself all up?” He asked coming behind you and kissing your neck.

“I’m doing what I was supposed to do the last two nights…but got distracted” you smirk at him. He lifts his hands in mock defense. Then you open the towel and start spreading the cream on your stomach, then your legs, then your butt. He’s watching you still, so you smile. “You say you like my skin, well it takes a lot of creaming to maintain it”

“I thought that was my job, love” He says in a low voice from behind me, putting his hands on my hips.

“Not like-” you start but decide it’s not even worthy, he knows what you meant. You just swat him on the shoulder and he laughs, going back to the room.

“By the way” he says putting his head back through the door. “You smell amazing, so finish up and get your ass back in the bed so I can properly cream you up”

“Daniel!” Little shit. He laughs even louder.

When you go back inside the room Daniel is sitting on the bed, looking through his phone. You pass him towards the closet and decide to take a look at the clothes you brought with you, to see if there's anything you could wear to this party tomorrow. What do you even wear to a yacht?

You take a few outfits and place them in front of your body, testing them on the mirror, but nothing seemed appropriate.

"You want a shirt baby?" Daniel asks you out of nowhere.

"Hum? Yeah, sure" you answer him, hanging the clothes back in the closet.

"Are you looking for something for tomorrow? Just buy something with Charlotte" he said simply while putting sweat pants on.

"Yeah... I..." you took a deep breath, "It's just..." you tried to say, but nothing seemed to come out. You were scared he was gonna think you're being ridiculous.

"What?" he looked at you.

"Nothing, never mind" you gave up, putting on his shirt with your underwear and going back to his room. He followed you, wearing nothing but his sweat pants.

"I'm just guessing here, but I have a feeling it's a good one" he started, "It's the money thing, isn't it? You don't want to spend money buying an outfit for this party?"

"It's not that I don't want to, Dan. I just can't afford it!" you said raising your voice tone a bit. He just stared at you for a while. "I don't know if you've noticed, I'm not on a million dollars contract but I'm still living like I was!" you sat down on the bed, eyes filling with water. "I just can't do this anymore, sorry. It's killing me and it's so stupid, so petty, but again, it's not! Cause what would the solution be? You paying for everything? Me just becoming a leech? A gold-digger?" he was watching you quietly, but let out a laugh at that last part.

"Don't laugh! I'm serious!" you continued.

"Baby, listen to yourself. What do you want me to do besides laughing?" he smiled sympathetically at you.

"Well, I'm glad you're finding it amusing because I feel sick everytime the subject comes up. The clothes, restaurants, plane tickets... I can't be living like that, and it's not just that. It's also because I know there's only one way this is going"

"You finally understanding this is ridiculous and accepting the credit card I made on your name months ago?" he said sitting by your side.

"Us not being together anymore. We're just from too different worlds, it's not gonna work. You need someone that can keep up with this lifestyle" you said getting up and walking towards the bathroom.

"No, you're not!" he said pulling you back down to his lap by your waist. "Enough with this bullshit" he said kissing your face and wipping your tears away. "Tell me what the real problem is. This is not about money, money is only a tool, a means to something, we can't let it have this much power over us. There's always more where that came from" you just looked at him. He had a much more healthy relationship with money than you, maybe because he had so much to spare. "This is not about money. You're not greedy, I know you. You're just the polar opposite of it. The most generous person I know. Is that it? You're feeling guilty?"

"I think... kind of. It's not fair, how can I have so much, knowing that most people have never even seen that much money. We’ve spent the average person's paycheck on a meal, Dan!" you said.

"(y/n), baby... it's not your responsibility. You can't carry this weight on you. You already do so much for people, you volunteer and donate all the time... you can't deprive yourself because other people don't have the same opportunity, that wouldn't be fair either" he tried to reason with you.

"But what about you?" you asked.

"What about me?"

"I just... listen, I know, rationally I mean... that I don't handle the idea of money very well. If you must know, I couldn't even take money from my parents as a kid. I just can't help but think it wasn't fair to them and it's not fair to you, to spend it with me. It's yours! You worked hard for it! I’m literally leeching on you!"

"So, you agree? The money is mine, so I can do with it what I please?" he said.

"Yes, but-"

"Why can't I spend it with the person I love most in the world? Huh? What is so wrong with it? Even if I was choosing to spend it on you instead of on myself, which I'm not, why couldn't I?"

"I feel like I'm taking advantage of you"

"Baby, we're taking advantage of this life. I was given this unholy amount of money for doing my dream job. Can you see how rare and fucking blessed this is? I mean, I thought so, until I met you. I thought I knew what a good life was until you were in it. This is a good life, with you enjoying this fucking lottery ticket with me" he said pecking your lips and rubbing your back, while you leaned on him. "Is this why you wouldn't come to London with me?" you looked at him and nodded.

"Sorry about that..."

"No, I'm sorry I didn't push more on the subject earlier. This has been going on for long enough now. It's just money, (y/n). Just it. Just a tool for the wonderful life we lead together. You understand?"

"Yeah"

"Look at me" he said turning your chin to look at him. "Do you really? Will you let me pay for stuff now? Tell me whenever you have an expense or even better, will you accept the credit card I made for you?"

"I don't think that's necessary"

"Please baby. Let's try it my way? Will you use it from now on?" he asked again pecking your lips. "Say yes. Say yes, or I'll give you a minimal monthly spending goal as well" he smiled and you looked at him like he was crazy.

"I'm not comfortable with it"

"Just try, please? You can start by buying something tomorrow for the party" the look on his face changed and you knew he was about to tease you. "If you'd prefer, we can say you're buying something for me... you wanna be my sugar baby?" he laughed.

"Too soon to joke about it" you said but laughed anyway. "Okay" you said after a while, "I'll use it. But you have to promise me you'll tell me if you change your mind"

"You're scared I'll go in debt?"

"I know you would"

"Good. Because I would. For you. But I know you don't need me to, so if we run out of money we'll just be poor together. Good thing you have experience, huh?" he laughed.

"Asshole!" you swatted him on the chest.

"You know I'm joking. But you get it now, don't you? We're lucky enough we don't have to worry about it, so let's not worry about it. It shouldn't even take a second of our day, it doesn't matter. Us, being together and our happiness is what matters. Okay?"

"Okay. Thank you, for being so understanding. Sorry for being... you know"

"I love you. And I don't expect you to simply go on a shopping spree, although I do expect you to buy those plane tickets soon. But the thing is, I'm here for it, I'm here to solve every little obstacle that gets in our way, no matter what, no matter how silly you're being"

"You're being so mature about this" you smirked at him.

"Well, what can I say? Being the perfect human I am, I understand that other humans are not, I'm just humbled that I can guide you on your path of enlightenment" he laughed and you rolled your eyes. "In all seriousness now, you know why is that, don't you?"

"Why? Because you're just better than everyone else?"

"Well, yes. But also because I have it really clear in my mind what really matters. And that's you. Us. It's all that matters to me. Being good for you" he said looking into your eyes.

"I love you, so much. I don't deser-" he cut you out by kissing you deeply and pulling you closer to him.

You moved so you were straddling him now, your arms around his neck and your hands on his hair. His hands that were on your waist, keeping you closer, started to slip down your body, so he was holding your bum.

"I want you" he said against your lips. You smiled and started to grind down against him. You were only wearing his shirt, which was bunched up around your waist, and your underwear, which wasn't the sexiest piece you owned but you didn't think Dan would care. In fact, he didn't seem to care at all for your underwear, cause he was already slipping his hand under you, pushing the thin layer to the side, and sliding his fingers through your lips.

You moaned at the sensation, still sensitive from your adventures early in the shower. "I... Dan..." you begin to say, but couldn't form a full sentence.

"What is it, baby girl? You want to say something?" he whispered against your ear, sucking your earlobe lightly. Then he pressed his pointer and middle finger against your clit, circling them firmly against you and making you moan louder for him.

"I'm still sensitive from early" you said against his lips, laughing a bit.

"You want me to stop?" he asked looking at you deeply.

"No!" you answered almost too fast, making him chuckle. "Don't stop, please"

"Hum... since you asked so nicely" he said sucking on your jaw, then your neck. You took that opportunity to slip your hand down his torso, feeling his chest and abs, and then reaching for him through his sweat pants. He was rock hard already. This man is insatiable. You smiled at the sound he made when you grabbed him lightly.

"I just want to feel you inside me" you said pulling his pants down and out of the way. He lifted you both from the bed slightly to help you take them off, then you grabbed and lined him with your center, sitting down slowly, letting only the head in first.

“Babe, please,” it’s Daniel’s turn to beg now “I need you" and then you sink down on him, feeling all of his length while he bottoms out inside you. He sucks on your sweet spot, muffling the groan that comes out of his mouth.

"Oh my god Dan" you moan, dropping your head back and giving him even more access to your neck. You pull his hair a bit more, fingers clamped down so tightly you're scared you might pull his hair out. You stay like this, feeling him deep inside you, for a while. He pulls away to look you in the eyes and kiss your lips, massaging your tongue with his. It's so intimate, so truthful, like he said, the only thing that matters in the world.

"I love you" he says looking you deep in the eyes. You nod before replying because you want to make sure he knows you know. That you believe and trust him.

"I love you, so much" you say back.

Then you roll your hips, testing out the angle, and it's almost too much to handle. It feels like hours and seconds at the same time, but you find a rhythm together, a pace you can keep sitting on him, while he only worries about kissing you and keeping you both from falling from the bed.

You're sure you'll be feeling sore tomorrow. Actually, you already are. Your legs, tired from the running and all the sex you've been having lately, start to give out and you lose your strength. Luckily, Daniel seems to catch that before you have to say anything, so he brings his hands to your hips and starts to help you move up and down on him.

You sit up slightly, moaning at the different angle he hitting now and he groans, feeling you clench around him. "(y/n)" he moans your name, "baby, I'm go-" he moans, feeling you clench again.

"Me too" you reply.

"Where do want me to? Huh? I'm gonna cum for you baby" you kiss him, feeling your pussy spasm around him, making it even harder for him to keep a steady rhythm.

"Inside me. I need you to come inside me, please, please baby" and there's no time to think, to ask if you're sure. You feel his whole body tensing and his thrusts get sloppier. Then, when you feel the hot liquid spur inside you, he grabs a handful of your ass with one hand and slips his other in between the two of you, flicking your clit rapidly and precisely.

That's all it takes for you to lose it completely, your walls fluttering around him as your body trembles at the intensity of the pleasure.

You both ride your orgasms together, you rolling your hips slower and slower, and him holding you tighter and closer until you stop completely. The only sound being your heavy breathings.

After a while, you pull away to find him already staring at you.

"You are the most beautiful thing I ever laid eyes on" he says to you and you feel the warmth of his words.

"I'm yours. Forever" you say simply and kiss him lightly on the lips.

"I feel like I have so much to lose. It honestly scares the living shit out of me"

"I know what you mean. I feel the exact same, I promise. I don't know how I got so lucky to find you" you say.

"And I, you. But we're just being dumb, right? I guess it's good we know that, but also... that we're not going anywhere, right?" he asks and you can sense there's some insecurity behind his line.

"Right. We're only getting stronger" you say and kiss him again. "I love you, Daniel"

"I love you, so much" he says touching your foreheads. "Let me get something to clean you up, then we can cuddle the rest of the night"

"You're the only guy I know that likes cuddling this much" you smile getting up from him. He hisses a bit at the sensation but gets up right after you.

"You don't have to worry about other guys' preferences" he says rolling his eyes. Yep. If your thing is low self-esteem and money-related issues, his is definitely jealousy and overall insecurity.

"I don't, silly" you peck him in the lips. He seems to relax a bit and when he comes back from the bathroom his phone lights up, he goes to check on it after passing you the towel.

"Charles just texted Charlottes contact. I'll forward it to you, okay?"

"Yep" you answered and it was your phone's turn to light up. "Can I confess something?" you asked him, adjusting your clothes.

"Hum?"

"I'm really excited to hang out with her tomorrow. I kind of miss girl company during the GPs and even when I'm here in Monaco and you're busy" he smiled and put a shirt on.

"Look at you, making friends! How cute"

"Shut up" you playfully pushed him, while you guys climbed into bed. You texted her 'hello' and Daniel's address before locking your phone and adjusting in his arms. There's still a lot to figure out and you weren't sure you'd be able to handle the money thing any better. You hoped so, after all, you didn't know how much more Daniel can be understanding. But you could think about all that another time. Right now life was good in the arms of the man you loved and loved you back. You felt safe.

.

.

Tag list (this is so fancy! I've never done a tag list before haha): @scotlynaurora @your-favourite-blonde @unicornfairytail @c-d-9

@isntmadrid @lharrietg @sassybatflowerpaper

[tbyfandoms]

A Promise | Dream x Reader

Pairing: smp!dream x gn!reader

Word Count: 6k

Summary: the smp is in shambles. tensions are high in the wake of tommy's death. y/n is still struggling with everything that happened with dream and wishes life could go back to what it used to be before everyone was hungry for power. y/n thinks of the promise dream made to them, and is oblivious to the fact dream intends on keeping it

Warnings: swearing, mentions of character deaths

Masterlist | Ask/Tell/Request

A/N: hello everyone! this is my first smp!dream x reader and I tried my best to keep it as lore accurate as possible. I changed some things up and obviously included things that have NOT happened in actual dsmp lore. I thought of this idea and really wanted to write it even though I'm not too familiar with writing in-game character imagines for the dsmp. I hope you still enjoy and lmk what you think! :) Edit: i started writing this months ago with no idea what was gonna happen within the dsmp storylines, but apparently this fic is no longer that far off actual lore lmao. also this became much longer than originally anticipated so I hope you enjoy this lengthier piece! lastly, sorry for scattered updates, I kind of just write when I'm feeling inspired and write for who i'm feeling inspired by. thanks for sticking around if you have <3

The night outside was still. Only faint sounds of trees rustling in the wind and wild animals scurrying past could be heard if you listened close enough. The smp was filled with sorrow after news broke out of Tommy's death. You weren't close with the boy, but you sympathized with him and felt horrible about what happened. What broke you even more was the fact the man who killed him was the man you were in love with.

When Sam had told you what happened, you were in disbelief. You thought it was a misunderstanding, yes Dream had done some horrible things, but surely he wouldn't have killed a child? As if getting Tommy exiled wasn't bad enough, he had to go and kill him too, and for what? Vengeance? Power? Some kind of superiority complex? Whatever it was, it wasn't worth the murder of a kid just trying to find his place in the world.

You shake your head as you stare out into the night, feeling the wind hit your face softly. It's unbelievable the amount of chaos that has occurred in such a short time. Some people were dead, some divided, and some who just plain stayed away from everyone, broken in their own ways.

You head back inside your house, feeling sleep ready to take over. As you enter, you don't even bother locking the door, you never have. When the elections and disagreements first started, you begged Dream to take you somewhere far from the rest of the communities. You could tell Dream was changing and you thought moving away from everyone would help balance him again, sadly it didn't turn out the way you thought. Although the quaint cottage you and Dream had built together created a calm and safe space for the both of you, it wasn't enough to keep the hunger for power within Dream to stop growing.

No one knew where you guys lived, it was a place you and Dream had made your own, far from the chaos that was constantly occurring near spawn. There were animals, flowers, and a pond full of beautifully colored fish that you had come to cherish. You never locked the door, even when things started to get scary and nerve-wracking, because there was nothing to fear. Dream would always be there to protect you and keep you from harm. Having the door unlocked meant Dream would always come home, that there was nothing to be scared of. Even when Dream would be gone for days planning God knows what, the door would stay unlocked.

It had been months since you last saw Dream. You knew where he was of course, in prison, knew there was no way he would ever come walking through that door again, yet it stayed unlocked. Opened and ready for him to come walking in. To come back in your arms, the way it should've always been.

It made you feel horrible that you still loved Dream so much, but somehow no matter what he did, he would always have the key to your heart. Before being in prison, before blowing up L'Manburg, and before exiling Tommy, you knew Dream for who he really was on the inside. No matter what new heinous act covered his heart, you knew there was still one there underneath it all. A heart that loved and cherished his friends. A heart of a man who would lay down his life for the people he loved. You know he's still in there, you would see it in the small acts he would do for you even when he was drunk on power. He was still the Dream you know and love so much.

You wrap yourself up in the blankets on your bed, looking at the space next to you that had been empty for quite some time now. When Dream first got taken to prison, you thought about leaving your cottage and going to live back with everyone else, some of your friends had even offered you stay with them, but you couldn't. This house was the only thing you had left of Dream, the only space that wasn't tainted with destruction, but with good memories. You couldn't bear the thought of leaving it all behind. You were all alone out here, but somehow you found comfort in it.

You sat in the darkness, the only source of light being the moonlight that shone from the windows within your house. The cottage was relatively small, you and Dream never needed much in terms of materialistic things so your house was only two floors, the main one and the basement where you stored gear and other supplies. The bed was in the back corner, giving you a perfect view of everything in the house, especially the front door. Sometimes when you woke up you expected Dream to come walking through it, for an instant forgetting he was far away, locked in a cell with nothing but his thoughts.

Multiple times you tried visiting Dream, even to get just a second of time with him, but each attempt you were met with nothing. Sam had told you Dream wasn't taking any visitors, he didn't want to see you. In reality he didn't want you to see him in that condition. Even with all his confidence he couldn't stand the thought of you seeing him chained and vulnerable. You wished he would get over it, allow you to see him but you understood it wouldn't happen. Dream had too much pride, no matter how much he cared for you.

Thinking about this has your mind going back to the night everything went down. The last time you saw Dream in person. You had heard whispers about what Dream had planned, but refused to believe it was real...

You watched dream as he paced back and forth, mumbling things you couldn't understand. He was frantic, yet somehow had everything in order at the same time. You understood where this was going and tried hard not to start crying. There was absolutely no going back once Dream went through with this.

"Dream," You croaked out, getting up and reaching out towards him, taking his face within your hands, halting his pacing for the moment. "Please don't do this."

There was the tiniest flicker within his emerald eyes, an instance of sincerity and sympathy for the fear within your voice. Moments like these were rare, seeing Dream's full face and being able to stare into his eyes, looking past the darkness that seemed to follow him lately. Dream always seemed to be wearing that mask, especially whenever he left the house. He was so adamant about instilling the smile within people's heads he often forgot to take it off around you, leading you to constantly see the same smile behind your closed eyelids.

"Y/N, you know I have to, it's the only option," He said.

"Only option? Dream this shouldn't even be an option to begin with! What happened to the way things used to be when we first started all of this?"

"That was a long time ago, times have changed," Dream replied sternly, backing away from your grasp. "I have to do this, and I'm sorry you don't see things the way I do." Dream went to start pacing again, but your words brought him back.

"You know what they'll do to you if you go through with this," Your words came out as almost a whisper. "Sam and the others will put you in prison, or worse, Dream. I-I can't lose you."

The tears began to pool in your eyes, one by one slowly slipping down your cheeks. Dream couldn't help the pang he felt within his chest at the sight of you crying. If anyone could get through to him, could turn his menacing demeanor off for even a second, it was you.

Dream walked forward and cupped your face in his hands. He wiped the tears away with his thumbs and tried his best to comfort you.

“Don’t cry, baby,” he said. “Everything is going to be okay, you’ll see. This will be good for us! When I get the power I deserve and we start getting some order around here, everything will be the way it should be. We’ll have everything we want!” Dream thought his words would comfort you, but instead they made you feel worse.

“All I want is to be with you and for you to be safe!” More tears fall down your face as you felt your heart breaking. “I don’t care about power, all I care about is you! Please Dream, please don’t go!” You were gripping onto Dream’s shirt at that point, thinking that maybe if you don’t let go of him, he won’t be able to leave.

“I will be safe. They can’t and won’t do anything to me. I’m too valuable for them to kill me, trust me. I know things they don’t, they would never risk killing me while I have things they need.”

You scoffed and shook your head. There was no getting through to him. When Dream sets his mind on something, there’s no changing it. You tried convincing him a million times to stray from this path, but it seemed he only continued to travel further down it.

You reached up and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him as close to you as possible. You dug your face into his neck, taking in that all too familiar scent. There was no telling when the next time you would be able to do this would be, if there even was a next time. Dream wrapped his arms tightly around you, holding you in place.

Even though he would never admit it, there were countless times he thought about dropping everything for good and leaving with you. Going somewhere even farther than the cottage and never coming back. Leaving behind everyone and their strive for power. He talked to Sapnap about it during late hours of the night, expressing his concerns he had for you, but in the end his own hunger for power was too strong. He couldn’t leave behind a fight, especially when he was so confident he could win it.

A loud ringing caused you and Dream to break apart. You followed Dream’s gaze to a nearby table and saw a clock jittering rapidly across the wood. He walked over and quickly silenced it, sighing before setting it down.

“It’s time,” He said, before looking back towards you. “I have to go.”

You closed your eyes and let out a breath, feeling defeated. You tried to stop any more tears from falling, but failed helplessly. There was nothing more you could do.

When you opened your eyes, Dream was standing in front of you again.

“Leave the door unlocked for me, okay?” He smiled and you returned it weakly, understanding he was trying to make you feel better.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Dream. What if people come looking for our house? Or for me?”

“Don’t worry, no matter what happens you will still be safe. They’re after me, not you. No one would dare to hurt you, besides they all love you anyways,” Dream smirks and you can’t help but to roll your eyes. He wasn’t wrong, you were close with basically everyone, always having room in your heart for new friendships. “Leave it unlocked, I promise I will come back to you.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” You whispered, feeling your chest start to tighten at Dream’s words.

“Hey,” Dream grabbed your attention as he reached out and placed a hand on your cheek. “I never have and never will break a promise to you.”

You stared into his eyes and couldn’t help but to melt as you noticed them soften, just a little. Dream leaned down and captured your lips in a kiss. Your lips molded together effortlessly, you and Dream having fallen instantly in sync.

Dream pulled away and brushed his finger against your jaw. Tracing over every small scar from when you two would practice dueling in the field. He smiled softly as the fond memories flashed through his mind.

“I love you, Y/N,” He said before walking towards the door. He picked up his mask he left laying on the chair and grasped the handle on the door. He opened it, and let the early evening breeze sweep through the house.

He stepped outside before turning back towards you one final time.

“I promise,” he said, before putting on his mask and closing the door behind him, leaving you alone in your shared home...

That night replays through your head more times than you would like, but it’s the last time you had the man you love in your arms, so you couldn’t even think about trying to forget it.

No longer able to keep your eyes open, you adjust comfortably into your bed and let sleep take over, hoping tomorrow will be better.

Dream’s POV

Dream dashed through the forest, tripping over branches and vines, yet not daring to stop and catch a breath. He can’t believe his plan actually worked! Everything was going exactly the way he hoped and wanted it to.

It wouldn’t be long before Sam and the others would be scouring the smp for him, so he had to hurry and be conscious of every move he made, not wanting to lead them right to him.

It took a lot of work and careful planning, but Dream was finally out of that stupid black and purple prison cell. The days were long, and the nights even longer, being stuck in that cell, but he was finally out.

Dream basks in the cool air of the night, feeling the wind blow through his hair and flutter across his skin. It’s been so long since he was out in the real world, he almost forgot what it felt like.

No longer would he be caged like some animal. He was out and would finally be able to continue pursuing his plans. There is much to do, and not much time to do it, but he would get it done.

First thing’s first, though, he had to see you. Unknown to you, Dream also constantly thinks of that night he left. Thinking of the promise he made to you. He always swore to himself that no matter what, the first thing he would do once he got out of prison was to go and see you.

There is nothing but chaos behind Dream, his escape was efficient, but definitely wasn’t discreet. He had to hurry and get far away as soon as possible, he figures by now everyone knew of his escape. Stopping to see you is a risk, but it’s one he’s willing to take. Since no one knows where you guys live, that gave him an advantage on having more time to see you, since no one would know where to go looking first.

As Dream continues on his trek, he begins to see familiar landmarks that you guys memorized in order to remember where exactly your shared home was. It had been so long since he last saw them, it felt refreshing to be traveling this path again, even if he was being hunted down at the same time.

After a little while longer and pushing past more trees and vines, Dream can finally see the cottage you both created together. Quickly, Dream hides behind a tree, getting low to the ground. He steadies his breath as best he can and listens intensely for any following footsteps. He was careful to not leave an obvious trail behind him, but there was still a chance someone could’ve seen him and followed him out there.

After a few minutes of nothing but silence, not even the tiniest crack of a branch, Dream comes out from around the tree and makes his way to the front door.

He’s not sure how much time he’ll have with you. Even though he hates to admit it, he knows it has to be brief. No more than maybe five minutes, and even that is pushing it.

The wooden steps to the door creak under every footstep Dream makes. Dream doesn’t even realize the breath he’s holding as he wraps his hand around the doorknob. He turns the knob, and surprisingly to him, the door opens instantly. Dream can’t help the smile on his face as he realizes after all this time you still left the door unlocked for him. As this thought enters his mind, there’s an instant where his smile falters, thinking of the pain and loneliness you must have endured while he was away.

Dream shakes off the thoughts, he is here now and that’s what he has to focus on. Again, he only has so much time with you. There’s not an instant to waste thinking about the past.

As he steps fully into the house, Dream takes a moment to let his eyes adjust to the darkness surrounding him. From what he can tell, the place is exactly how he left it. Furniture all in the same positions and of course his love there waiting for him.

Being careful as to not make too much noise so he wouldn’t startle you, Dream takes the steps towards your shared bed. As he gets closer, his eyes begin to adjust to the darkness better and he’s able to make out your figure underneath the covers. He watches as the light from the moon illuminates your face and smiles at your peaceful state.

Dream begins to reach out towards you, his mouth opening to call out your name, but jumps back as he hears a distant yell. He waits an instant, praying what he heard was just a wild animal, but feels his heart drop in his stomach as he hears it again followed by others.

Quickly walking over to the window, Dream looks out and tries to see if he can spot any movement. He doesn’t understand how people have followed him all the way out here already, Dream was sure to not leave a trail. There’s no time to waste thinking about it now, if the plan is still to work he has to leave immediately.

Even though Dream wanted to spend at least a few minutes with you, there’s no chance he could do that now. Any minute Sam, Quackity, and the rest of the SMP could discover the house and surround it. Dream moves away from the window and walks back over to you, sighing.

He reaches out and brushes a strand of hair away from your cheek. He isn’t sure when the next time he’d be able to see you is, so he soaks up every inch of your appearance as quickly as he can. No matter what you had always been there for him, had always loved him even when he was at his lowest. A part of him regrets not allowing Sam to let you in the prison to visit him, but he’s also grateful you didn’t have to witness the life he had been living these past months. He hopes you’ll hold on to all the good memories you created together, and find a way to move on. Dream can’t bear the thought of letting you sit around and suffer any longer, waiting for him when even he doesn’t know when he’ll return.

Dream leans down and kisses your cheek, letting his lips linger for a moment as the warmth of your skin seeps into them. Even though he’ll never admit it, Dream can feel his heart breaking at this very moment. He’d do anything to be by your side day and night again, but that just isn’t an option anymore.

“I love you,” Dream whispers in your ear before standing back up. He walks back towards the door, dreading the thought of leaving you behind once again.

Y/N ’s POV

“I love you,” a voice all too familiar whispers into your ear. Sleep is fighting you as you try to wake up fully. You had dreamed of hearing his voice again, and it seems that the mere sound of it could awaken you.

Sitting up, you rub your eyes and blink a few times, wondering if it was just your mind playing tricks on you. You look up after the blurriness has faded and gasp as you notice a figure by the door. You’d recognize that blonde hair and tall stature anywhere.

“Dream?” You rip the covers off and stand, not believing the sight in front of you. He turns around and tears immediately spring to your eyes as you realize this isn’t a figment of your imagination, Dream was right here in front of you. He came back just like he promised.

“Baby,” he opens his arms and walks towards you, a smile forming on his face, a look you missed more than anything.

You meet him halfway and jump into his arms, the tears falling down your face as you’re reunited with the man you loved more than anything.

Dream rubs his hands up and down your back as you keep your arms wrapped around his neck and your legs wrapped around his torso.

“Damn you, Dream! Do you know how awful it’s been without you!? How scared I was for you?” You sobbed into his neck, pulling away slightly to look into those big green eyes. “How much I missed you?”

You notice the glossy look in his eyes and can tell how badly Dream feels about everything he’s done to you, everything he’s left you with.

“I can’t even imagine, Y/N. I’m so sorry,” He whispers. Dream removes one hand from your back and reaches up to brush away the tears on your cheek. Even though he’s been stuck in a cell for a while, you’re surprised at the strength Dream still has in order to be able to hold you up with one arm. Even with the time that has passed, he’s still the same man he was before he left. If anything, he looks stronger, more determined than before even. You don’t know whether to be glad or terrified.

There’s something in the way he’s looking at you that you instantly understand Dream isn’t home for good. This isn’t permanent and you know for a fact Sam didn’t let him out of that prison on purpose.

“How much time do we have?” You remove your legs from around Dreams waist and you can hear the small sigh he exhales as he sets you down. He knows you know what’s happening, you were always way smarter than anyone ever gave you credit for.

“Minutes, if that. I thought I did a good job at covering my trail but I heard people yelling, I feel they’re not far off from finding this place. I need to be long gone before they reach us,” He says, not quite meeting your eye. Dream can’t stand the sight of you being disappointed, of being disappointed in him.

“I see,” You can’t help the small crack in your voice as the thought of him leaving once again floods your mind. You’ll wake up tomorrow and it will be just like it was a dream.

“Hey,” Dream says as he steps forward and cups your face in his hands. “I’m so sorry that I have to leave again. If there was anything I could do differently to allow me to stay here with you, I would. I love you so much.” You want to tell him if he never left in the first place none of this would’ve happened. That you wouldn’t be in this situation right now, but you refrain yourself. The last thing you want right now is to waste what little time you have left arguing with the man who owns your heart.

“I love you too,” You exhale as you lean your cheek into his palm, trying to soak up every second of his skin on yours. Dream gives you a soft smile, but it seems to fade almost instantly, a look of determination and strain taking it’s place instead.

“When I leave this time, I don’t want you sitting around waiting for me. You don’t deserve that. You deserve someone who will be here for you every night, someone who can make you feel safe and not leave you feeling scared or worried,” You reach up and grab onto his arms, already shaking your head at what he’s saying. “I- I want you to move on, Y/N.”

“No! No I will not move on! You don’t get to do that, you don’t get to decide when it’s time for me to give up on you!” Dream rubs his thumbs back and forth on your cheeks as you continue to hold onto his arms.

“I can’t promise you the future you deserve, I don’t know when I'll be back. I don’t want you putting the rest of your life on hold while I try to figure everything out.” Sure his escape plan worked as smoothly as possible, but there is still much to do, and although Dream believes he can accomplish what he wants, there’s still a chance it wont happen. Members of the SMP are stronger now, more prepared than Dream thought. If he gets caught or his plan fails, he’ll be right back in that box, and there’s no shot he’ll get out a second time. “How can you love someone who can never be the man you truly deserve?”

Even with the minimal light coming in, you can see a tear fall down Dream’s face and your heart breaks at the sight. Although he’d never admit it, you can tell he’s scared. You can’t even begin to imagine what he endured while locked away. Just from the cuts and bruises on his face you can tell it’s not anything good.

Dream begins to say something else, but before he can get a word out you push yourself closer to him, removing your grasp from his arms to around his neck. You lean up and smash your lips against his, wanting nothing more than to be close to him, to let him know there’s no one you’d rather be with. Dream responds immediately as his lips fall into sync with yours. He removes one of his hands from your cheeks and places it on your lower back, pushing you even closer to him.

You break apart from him and rub the nape of his neck with your fingers, wanting to do anything you can to help soothe him.

“I will never love anyone as much as I love you, Dream,” You say as you look into his eyes. Even if you tried, you know you’ll never be able to move on from him. No matter what he does, he’ll always be that guy you fell in love with, that you are in love with.

As Dream looks down at you, and into your eyes he can tell you mean it. He doesn’t understand how he got so lucky to have you, doesn’t understand why you’d still want him after everything. He knows he doesn’t deserve you, but he’s so happy you still love him just as much as he loves you.

Knowing there’s nothing he can do to change your mind, and yet also having still so much he wants to tell you, he does the only thing he knows he can with the minimal time he has left. Dream leans down and connects your lips once more. Hoping you can feel every ounce of love he has for you within it.

Dream moves the hand he still has on your cheek and places it by his other one, on the lower half of your back. You let your hands trail from the base of his neck up into his golden locks, letting your fingers get twisted in the soft hair your missed running your hands through.

Though the situation is far from perfect, it’s the best thing you could possibly have considering the circumstances. There’s probably only moments left until Dream has to leave, but right now all you care about is using everything in you to kiss this man and hold him close.

Dream grabs at the bottom of your shirt and slips his hands underneath it, running them up and down your back. You can’t help the shiver that runs down your spine as he presses the pads of his fingers into your skin, warmth instantly shooting throughout your body.

You feel Dream smirk against your lips as he feels you shiver. He always loved the way he could control your body, always knowing just how to make you feel good.

In return, you pull on the golden locks between your fingers, knowing it always drives Dream crazy. It’s your turn to smirk as you hear him let out a satisfied hum at the feeling.

Dream lightly bites down on your bottom lip before pulling back. No matter how much it feels like you have all the time in the world together right now, he knows all too well that isn’t true. It’s time for him to leave, the others could be right outside the door any second now.

Pressing his forehead against yours, Dream lets out a small sigh. You don’t want to open your eyes, don’t want to see the look Dream is going to give you, a look you’ve seen only once before. So instead you remove your hands from his hair and wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer to you and shoving your head into his neck. Holding him tighter than ever before. You don’t even know what else to say, so you just hold him as he wraps his arms around your waist, not wanting to let go for even a second.

The both of you spring apart instantly as you hear a yell. Dream knows this time it is much closer than the one before. He has to leave now if he wants even a chance at reaching the next step in his plan. It’s now or never.

“There’s a million things I wish I could say to you right now,” Dream says as he looks from you to the door. You nod your head and quickly reach out, giving Dream one last hug and a kiss on his cheek.

“I know, it’s okay. I understand,” You reply while brushing away a piece of Dreams hair that fell over his eyes. You push on his shoulders lightly, towards the door. “Now go, before they get here.”

Dream nods his head before reaching for your hand, he lifts it to his lips and plants a kiss on your knuckles. A move so sweet and delicate, you can’t even imagine it came from a man capable of so many destructive things.

“I love you, Y/N,” he whispers, still holding on to your hand. You look into his eyes and give him a small smile, knowing it’s probably the last one you’ll be able to give him for a while.

“I love you too, Dream,” you reply. Dream walks backwards to the door, your hand slowly leaving his until it’s slipped from his grasp completely, falling down to your side.

Dream turns around and grabs the handle of the door. You feel your breath catch in your throat as you watch the man you care so much for walk out yet again. You want to tell yourself it’ll be different this time, it won’t be as hard to deal with. You know in your heart it won’t be.

“Y/N?” You snap out of your thoughts as you realize Dream is still standing by the door, still has his hand wrapped around the doorknob.

“Yeah?” Your heart beats a little quicker, the anxiety of Dream getting caught if he doesn’t leave now, and the thought of the things he has planned all wrapped up together, taking over.

Dream turns his head and looks at you, his eyes not quite meeting yours. He looks timid, almost as if he’s afraid of what he’s about to say next.

“I know I said I couldn’t promise you the future you want and deserve, but can you promise me something?” His eyes find yours and you can see the sincerity and vulnerability within them even from your position.

“What is it?” It comes out as a whisper, your own voice failing you as you anticipate what Dream is going to say next.

“Promise you’ll still keep the door unlocked for me?” There’s the tiniest pull of a smile at the corner of Dream’s mouth. He’s trying to make light of everything, trying to give you at least something. Although Dream knows you deserve better, and that he told you he wants you to move forward in life, that couldn’t be further from what he really wants. Him asking this of you is basically him saying he’ll be back eventually, or at least he’ll try to be. You know he can’t outright promise you he’ll return like he did last time, this time it’s different. This time he’s a criminal on the run with only one shot to accomplish his goal.

As you stand there staring at the man you love most, no matter what you both go through, you know he’s being heartfelt. You know he wishes things can be different. No matter how badly he still craves power, he’d still do anything for you. You know he wants to be close to you again, to go back to the days of late nights and early mornings. Back to tending to the flowers around your house and dueling in the field not far from here. Back to seeing you every time he closed his eyes and every time he opened them.

You feel your body deflate thinking back on these things, thinking of how much you’re going to miss him, how much you already do. There’s nothing you can do, even if you could convince him to stay he’d just get taken away as soon as Sam tracked him down. The damage is already done, with so much more to come.

So, with nothing more to be done, with no time left or any way to change what’s already set in place, you allow yourself to give in.

“I promise,” you say.

Dream’s small smile is hidden from view as he pulls on his mask. You hadn’t even realized it was with him. It’s cracked in different places, looks much different from the time you last saw it, and you try not to think about how the damage came to be.

This feeling and scenario is all too familiar to you and you hate the fact you seem to keep reliving it. You feel more scared this time, still uncertain of what’s going to happen. Of what’s going to happen to Dream. As you watch Dream open the door and walk out, closing it behind him, your nerves settle in deeper than you ever thought they could. You can hear his rapid footsteps as he flees the area, off to wherever it is he believes will hide him from the others. You know it wont be long before Sam, Quackity, and whoever else stumble upon your home, upon your safe space. You just hope Dream is long gone before then.

You take in everything that just happened, and you feel the need to reassure yourself. To reassure yourself of your strength and commitment, of your love and how special you know it is, of the idea he will come back. So as you crawl back into bed and stare at the front door, something you’ve come to memorize every inch of, you whisper to yourself,

“I promise.”

[etheraella]

Lies Between Ties || Part I ||

(Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader)

Summary : Y/N and Draco caught themselves in an arranged marriage by their parents, they both try and act like a happy married couple infront of their families, when in reality they made an agreement to not cross each other’s space and treat each other as ‘roommates’. What happens when one unknowingly gains feelings?

Warnings : No War/Voldemort!AU, Arranged Marriage, Slowburn, Unrequited Love (?), Angst, Arguing, slight cursing.

Your eyes widen in shock, not believing what the woman you respected all your life had just said. You scoffed in disbelief as your mother puts her welcoming hand on yours in comfort. "Very funny, Mama."

She frowned, holding back a smile. "Y/N, this is not a joke, I think it's for the best if you marry him, Narcissa-"

"I know she's your friend, Mama. But I don't even know him, we've never exchanged a conversation, and it's best if we keep it that way." You got up ready to leave the conversation. Unfortunately, your mother grabbed your wrist softly before you could do so.

"Y/N please, the Malfoys can give you the life I could never give you, and I'm getting older, sooner or later when I'm gone, somebody is going to have and help me look after you. At least with the Malfoys’ I know you'd be in good hands." She confessed with sadness in her voice, the grip on your wrist getting firmer.

"Please don't say that, ma. I would want to get married but not anytime soon. I've only just graduated Hogwarts, and who's going to take care of you?"

"Your stepfather is retiring soon, we'll just be here at home and you can come visit us after you and Draco have settled,"

You squinted the moment Draco's name left your mothers lips. Sure, the two have never said a word to each other, but he was known for his boastful and rich background. Everyone in Hogwarts would've known the Slytherin Prince. Though, that never interest you. He probably never knew who you were anyway.

"I never said I agreed to it." you finally said not meeting her gaze.

"Francis and I have already agreed to the Malfoys, dear. The wedding is to be held in 3 months, please Y/N for the sake of mine, you'll learn to accept Draco and there's no doubt the two of you will be happy together." She smiled kissing your forehead lovingly before getting up to leave.

“but with what certainty?”

the words were in a whisper that were only heard by you.

━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━

The sound of birds chirping and peaceful leaves rustling filled your ears. Memories of the conversation filled your head. Out of everyone in the whole world, why Draco Malfoy? What does he think of this ridiculous arrangement? With less than 2 months, the two of you have never met since you saw him back at Hogwarts, and tonight would be the first time the two of you would meet after the marriage conversation. Just then you heard the sound of footsteps and your mother appeared in the doorway.

"Come inside and get ready, dear."

That night, you sat opposite of Draco for dinner, you daren't lift your gaze to meet his. You knew the moment he entered your living room with a boring expression that he wasn't excited or fond on meeting you, or to even be wed to you. Well, so were you.

"Y/N, why don't you have a walk with Draco by the lake?" your mother says suddenly, smiling brightly between you and Draco.

"Yes, Mama" you say politely returning a fake smile, trying your best to hide your annoyance.

You walk with Draco in silence and you open your mouth every now and then trying to start a conversation. You didn’t realise the difference in your heights until you were side by side, Draco Malfoy was taller and much broader than you remember.

"Malfoy-"

Draco stops, meeting your eyes before averting his gaze to the lake on his left.

"I’m not sure It’s wise to use surnames considering the situation we're in.”

Taken aback, you were surprised he was even suggesting this, the Draco Malfoy in front of you seemed more mature than the Malfoy you knew of in school.

"And what situation do you take this as?"

"- A situation that shouldn't happen in the first place. If you only hadn't agreed to it."

You couldn't believe your ears at his absurd accusation. His voice calm but firm at the same time, looking at you as if you're something a cat dragged in.

"Me? You think I want to marry you?" You gave a short laugh. "Your parents sent the proposal first and you blame this on me? For Godric's sake, I don't even know you nor do I have any feelings for you. I'm only following my mother's desires, Draco Malfoy."

"I can guarantee you, the feeling’s mutual." he said through gritted teeth followed by an awkward silence as two of you continue your walk. You stared at your shoes with each step, trying to think of a sentence that will make him help you cancel the wedding. You couldn't bare marrying someone you don't love, especially someone with a big ego like Draco’s. No, never in a million years.

"Mal- Draco, I didn’t intend to ask you upon this favour, as we both know how ridiculous this arrangement is. Please convince Narcissa and Lucius to call it off. It's not too late, considering you're a man-"

"As much as I would love that, Y/N. I would never want to break my mother's heart, I don't bloody care if you call it off, it's perfectly fine with me. We'll discuss this again after the wedding." He said, rolling his eyes and walking back to the house leaving you alone.

You blink in shock, your eyes following his walking figure, his silver blond hair visible under the moonlight. That bastard! Why would he think it's any better after the wedding? Sighing in disappointment, you slumped on the bench facing the lake, the darkness of the night swallowing you.

━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━

"You are to be MARRIED to Draco?" Jane's eyes widen in shock, she stood up facing you, her pupils searching for yours trying to find mischief. To her prevail, you were dead serious and that got her sitting back on the chair slowly.

"But - I thought you wanted to be a healer-"

"I do, I can be a healer while married. I wouldn't need permission to pursue my dream career, would I?" You sighed, staring at the wand in your hand. Jane has been your best friend ever since the two of you got sorted in the same house back in Hogwarts. You wanted her to be your bridesmaid. Knowing how grand the Malfoy's are, it makes sense how big they want this wedding to be, considering Draco's the only Malfoy heir. You didn't know what to think of it, ever since you were a child, you had always dreamt of how you wanted your wedding to be, you didn't mind how the reception would look, how flowy your dress would be, as long as it's with friends and relatives, and a person you're in love with.

Jane was silent for several seconds. "Oh Y/N...but Draco Malfoy?"

"YES JANE! What other Dracos do you know of?" You roll your eyes in irritation, hating the fact of being reminded of marrying a bloke like him. Jane sighed and looked at you with sympathy,

“But, I’m afraid your mother’s right.. there’s no denying the Malfoys are rich-“

You snorted. “richly arrogant”

The silver band on your ring finger brimmed. The mere thought of you being engaged was still unbelievable, so is the oncoming wedding. Feeling frustrated, you terribly wanted to pull your hair out.

“Jane, I have an idea.. perhaps on the wedding day, you could wear a long veil and take my place instead-“ You randomly suggest.

“Y/N Y/L/N, Are you mad? We both know your absurd schemes are never going to work,” Jane smiled sadly, gripping your hand in hers.

You sighed in disappointment, praying deep down the wedding would be disastrous or a random fire would begin before the vows, yes, it was a childishly dangerous thought but you were willing to escape this arrangement without hurting your mother’s feelings.

━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━

On the wedding day, of course the unfortunate events you hoped for didn’t occur. You weren’t as devastated as you thought you would be when you woke up that morning, wrapping sheets of mattress around yourself. It could be that you were finally accepting your fate, you groaned at the thought. In 24 hours, you would be ‘Mrs. Malfoy’, how grand.

The dress that was altered for you was beautiful, you couldn’t take your eyes off it. The white material felt light and gorgeous under your fingertips. Jane had repeatedly told you how breath-taking you looked, you didn’t deny that.

Before the event began, Narcissa had come in your dressing room with an amber green leathered box. Seeing your future mother in-law made you awfully nervous, even if you weren’t whole heartedly willing to marry her son. You quickly pushed the guilt away when she cupped your hands in hers.

“Oh Merlin, you look lovely Y/N,” She said with a smile before opening the box, revealing a heavenly beautiful bracelet the Malfoy initials carved in golden. You let Narcissa gently put it on you telling you of the Malfoy heirloom’s history. The bracelet was given to wear on special occasions, the heirloom given down to each heir on the wedding day.

The piano started playing as you entered the hall, guests arise to their feet, staring at you in awe. Your mother stood at the end of the hall with Francis; happiness laced with sadness painted on her expressions, seeing her only child in white walking down the aisle. Your eyes wander along the decorations in the hall before landing on Draco. He looked undeniably handsome, his platinum blonde hair neatly combed as always, expression unreadable.

When the rings and vows were exchanged the hall erupted in an applause. You looked up to see Draco looking at you with a fake smile etched on his face, the sounds of cheering suddenly muted. It was all an act, you remind yourself.

.

.

A/N : —Luna here ! I decided to start a series ;) and..a special appreciation to Celeste for being my trusty editor !! If you enjoy this please reblog/share 👉🏼👈🏼🥺. We made a taglist form that can be found on our bio and here [x].

Taglist 🏷 : @amourtentiaa

[nolabballgirl]

Eid 2022: Muslim Books Wrap-up and Review Part ii

so in part i here, i focused on recently published contemporary literature/poetry, fantasy, and graphic novels (2017 to present) with muslim main characters i've read over the year. now i'm going to turn to young adult and lgbtq muslim fiction. frankly i was impressed by how many books have come out in the last few years alone in these categories. now i wish the quality of the writing was just as amazing (but that’s another story 🌙)

these books represent a wide spectrum of the muslim experience. from practicing, non-practicing, or questioning one's faith, to spanning cultures, nationalities, and ethnic origins from across the globe. and we're only scratching the surface. without further ado:

ya:

all my rage (2022/sabaa tahir *tw: abuse, addiction) - this book fully wrecked me. it's so heartbreaking and yet hopeful at the same time. a lovely friends to lovers story of two pakistani american kids living in the mojave desert in california, whose respective families are just trying to live out "the american dream." p.s. tahir's "an ember in the ashes" is an awesome fantasy series!

salaam with love (2022/sara sharaf beg*tw: gun violence) - good post ramadan read as it follows a pakistani american teen from a small town who visits relatives in nyc for the entire month of ramadan. it's a coming of age story but also about the main learning more about the religion and ramadan in general. there's an unnecessary subplot involving gun violence that took away from the tone mid-story, and the ending was slightly unbelievable, but otherwise a fun read.

misfits in love (2021/s.k. ali) - this is a sequel to saints and misfits but you don't really need to have read the first one to read this. we follow our egyptian-indian hijabi protagonist at her brother's wedding and like all weddings, there's lots of drama (especially boy drama!) this was light-hearted and fun, but also did a good job in addressing intra-muslim racism (especially anti-black racism) and how to cope when it occurs amongst family members.

all american muslim girl (2019/nadine jolie courtney) - despite the cheesy title, i thought this was a fresh take on the muslim teen experience. it's a coming of age story of a white passing Circassian girl from a non-religious muslim family near atlanta, georgia. in exploring her heritage, racism, and fitting in, she comes to islam and decides to be muslim. so it's all about her finding her faith and making sense of it all, with some really layered intra-faith explorations amongst her friend group too.

love, hate, and other filters (2018/samira ahmed*tw: terrorism) - okay, this book was a mess. ostensibly a coming of age story about an indian muslim girl living in the midwest us. but it was full of cliches (brown girl pining for the white crush; oppressive indian parents, etc.) structurally, the author drops a mass casualty/terrorism event in the middle of the book, but then picks up with the "romance" like nothing happened. very little grappling with the main's cultural and religious identity. and the ending is incomprehensible given the 200 pages that came before it.

a very large expanse of sea (2018/tahereh mafi) - a coming of age story set in 2002 (right after 9/11) of a hijabi persian breakdancing teen. i enjoyed the subversion of stereotypes and the realistic depiction of racism and double standards in that time. i could have done with a little less romance but overall the main's conflicting emotions felt very real.

lgbtq lit (mostly wlw):

note: there aren't too many books with practicing queer muslim rep yet. most have mains that fall into the category of culturally muslim/raised in a muslim household but marginally practicing or not at all. for practicing rep, in addition to one book below, i would highly recommend watching "we are lady parts" on peacock (wlw hijabi who regularly prays!)

the henna wars (2020/adiba jaigirdar) - wlw high school rivals romance between a bengali girl and brazilian irish classmate in ireland (not exactly enemies to lovers but eh, close enough). so this isn't the most well-written book, but it was cute. props to an interracial woc couple and complicated sibling dynamics.

hani and ishu's guide to fake dating (2021/adiba jaigirdar) - fake dating and grumpy/sunshine tropes galore between muslim and hindu (?) bengali high school girls in ireland. kudos for a practicing muslim bisexual co-main! a nice exploration of culture and religion overall with both girls, who are quite well-developed on their own. i just wish we got more of their relationship together which felt the most underdeveloped of the whole novel so i wasn’t as invested in their relationship as i was in them separately. but overall, cute.

the love and lies of rukhsana ali (2019/sabina khan *tw: intense homophobia; sexual assault; death) - okay, i really disliked this book. setting aside the writing style which i did not care for, this book verged on trauma porn for me by taking the kitchen sink of homophobia, misogyny, racism, etc. and throwing it all at this poor bengali girl. yes, life is not all sunshine and roses but this was bleak. and don't get me started on the ending! the book would have benefitted from sticking with 2-3 topics and exploring them well.

zara hossain is here (2021/sabina khan *tw:islamophobia) - so i liked this better than her first book (love lies of rukhsana ali). but this author still has the propensity of putting her queer characters through harrowing situations so be warned. this novel is about a bisexual pakistani teenager in texas and the racism and islamophobia she and her family face. again i think focusing on a few major themes would have helped focus the storyline.

you exist too much (2020/zaina arafat *tw: addiction) this was a hard book, not only for the subject matter but because the main, a bisexual palestinian woman, is pretty unlikeable. but the writing is honest and there's something to be said for rooting for a woman to overcome her addictions, tackle her mental health issues, and stop her self-destructive behavior. i also enjoyed the vignettes of self-discovery from her childhood in palestine/jordan.

honorable mention: darius the great is not okay (2018/adib khorram) - this is cheating because the main isn't muslim; he's a persian, zoroastrian boy. but this book is so good and really deftly tackles the subject of mental illness, loneliness, family pressures and trying to fit in. it mostly takes place in iran with some gorgeous descriptions of the architecture/mosques in yazd too.

[allthemenofmydreams]

Back Home with a Trophy & a Baby- Ben Chilwell

It was the week of the champions final, Ben was busy with training and some interviews. But in his free time at night, he would lie next to me and always lay his head on my growing belly and talk sweet words to our baby.

I was 8 months pregnant, and we still didn't know what sex our baby was. We wanted it to be a surprise, even though we were dying to know. When the team reached the Champions League final and found out that it would be played in Porto. Ben and I started having little arguments on whether or not I should attend the final. Due to my condition, I was not recommended to get on a plane, especially when you are at a stage where the baby could be born at any moment.

The day before he left we had another little talk. We still hadn't decided if I would attend the game or not. Although the doctor had given us green light for me to attend the game because everything was under control and it wasn't a long flight. According to him, the baby was going to stay in my belly for a couple more weeks, but Ben wasn't so sure. He feared that maybe I would start having contractions during the flight or, worse, that the baby would want to be born while he was at the game.

I was in the kitchen making dinner when he got home.

"I think you should stay," Ben said, placing a flight ticket and the game pass over the table. "I will be more relaxed if you stay, but I will also feel at ease knowing that you are in the stands supporting me, so... I let it up to you".

I walked and stood in front of him, placing my arms around his neck and playing with his hair. I looked him in the eyes and said

"I'm going to be fine, I mean we're going to be fine." I took his hand and placed it on my belly so he could feel the baby move.

Ben smiled and kissed me on the forehead.

"I know, I just can't help but worry about you two".

"How would you feel if I thought about it over the next few days, and let you know what I've decided?"

"I'm fine with that." He smiled and then said, "what's that smell?"

"Oh, I made your favorite food because I was craving it," He laughed and walked over to the stove to serve himself a plate.

"Let's have dinner then"

In the morning, Ben got up early for a final training session at Cobham before leaving for Portugal.

"Please, let me know what you decide Y/N, whether you go or stay¨ Ben said, taking his things and placing them in the back of the car.

I was in my pajamas standing in the door frame leading to our garage watching his movements. It was very early, but I had to say goodbye to him and wish him good luck because, whether I was going or not, it was very likely that I would see him after the game.

"We're staying, so don't worry. The baby and I want you to stay focused." Ben came over to me and kneeled, placing his hands and forehead on my belly.

"I'm going to get that win and bring that trophy home so when you grow up I can tell you about that great day."

Pregnancy hormones and Ben's words made me cry. He stood up and looked me in the eyes.

"I know I'm going to see you in a couple of days, but I don't want to leave without saying thank you"

"Thank you for what?" I asked, confused with my voice shaking from crying.

"For making me the luckiest man alive, because you are an extraordinary woman who is doing a great job with our baby. I can't wait to have him or her in our arms."Ben placed his hands on my cheeks and put his forehead on mine, "I love you so much Y/N, thank you for being my support, I don't know what I would do without you"

"I love you too Ben, thank you for all you have done for us, and for showing us not to give up and work on our dreams, I know you are a great team and you are going to win. I don't need to wish you good luck, because that victory is already yours." I gave him a soft and deep kiss. Whenever Ben plays away I get a little touchy, even though I know he'll be back in a day or two.

We hugged one more time before he got in the car and drove away.

I walked into the house and saw the tickets on the table. Even when I had told Ben that I would stay because I didn't want to worry him and needed him to keep the promise he had made to our baby before he left. I told the Footballer a little white lie.

The next day, I got dressed in comfortable clothes, grabbed my suitcase, and called an Uber to take me to the airport.

As we took off, I remembered that I hadn't told Ben about my change of plans. After a couple of hours, we landed, everything under control and the baby still in my belly. It was a safe and quiet flight and I slept through it. On the way to the hotel, I was thinking about how to communicate to Ben that I was not in London but Porto.

After checking into the hotel and settling into my room, I sent a message to Ben.

Y/N Babe, I need to tell u smth

He replied almost immediately.

Benjamin Please don't tell me the baby is born

I laughed at his worries.

Y/N Nop, baby still on my belly

Benjamin Phew! then what's it?

Y/N You won't believe me, but we're here

Benjamin Here? where? He didn't understand

Y/N Porto.

I replied straight to the point.

It's been 5 minutes since I told him I was in Portugal and he still doesn't answer my message. I don't know whether to worry. Maybe he got annoyed. A couple of minutes later my cell phone showed an incoming call from Ben, and as soon as I answered I heard his voice.

"It was that a joke y/n? because if it was..." I interrupted him.

"It wasn't a joke Ben, I'm here in Portugal. I'm at the hotel"

"Oh my god! you're such a liar, why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I changed my mind at the last minute, everything went so fast that I forgot to tell you."

"I can't believe you did it... "

"Are you mad at me?" I asked out of the blue. I couldn't deal with the feeling of guilt for not telling him.

"What! no, I'm not mad. I'm actually glad you're here."

We kept talking for a little longer until we had to end the call because of his pre-match duties.

It's Saturday morning, game day. I sent a text to Ben wishing him good luck and that I would see him later to celebrate. Later I was already in the stands waiting for the game to start. The opening ceremony gave me goosebumps. It was unbelievable. I was glad I was at the game and didn't miss this special day; because I couldn't have lived knowing how everyone was talking about this special day and I didn't get to see it.

The teams took to the field and lined up in front of the sideline for the anthem once again. I noticed that Chelsea's number 21 was discreetly looking for me. When he found me, he signaled to let me know he had seen me. The signal was to run his hand through his hair, so the fans wouldn't go looking for the person he had waved at. Which made it a special moment between us.

The stadium erupted in cheers and celebrations when Kai scored the goal that gave us the lead. I screamed and celebrated as I had never done before. We were winning. A few minutes before the end of the first half, I felt a liquid running down my legs, had I peed?

In the bathroom, while wiping myself, I realized that it wasn't pee, but that my water had broken. I tried to stay calm and not panic; there was still halftime left to play. I took a deep breath, adjusted my dress, and went back to the stands.

The referee added 7 minutes. My nerves were clutching my stomach, plus the baby was also nervous because I could feel it moving. When the ref blew the final whistle I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding, it was the longest 7 minutes of my life.

Everyone in the stands was celebrating, the boys and Ben were hugging each other. They couldn't believe it. I was so happy celebrating and watching the awards that for a moment I forgot my water had broken. It was a little pain that reminded me that the baby could be born at any moment.

When they allowed the families to enter the field, Ben came for me. The huge smile on his face and the medal around his neck made me emotional. As soon as he was near we hugged and both burst into tears. I was so proud of him, I still couldn't believe he was Champion of Europe.

"You did it!" I told him wiping the tears that were running down his cheeks "I told you you would be a champion, I am so proud of you".

"I still can't believe it, I'm over the moon," he smiled and kissed my temple "Thank you! Thank you for coming and being here with me"

"I couldn't miss this day for anything in the world"

"I'm glad you didn't miss it"

We continued celebrating until the guys went back to the locker room to get ready for the celebration party.

We had just arrived at the place when I started to feel stronger pains. I didn't want Ben to miss the party, so I tried to mask them with the breathing exercises I had been taught in my prenatal classes. But I couldn't take it anymore and doubled over in pain.

"Babe, you okay?" Ben asked, kneeling next to me. I shook my head.

"I think the baby is coming," I said, inhaling and exhaling. "at halftime my water broke".

"What? Why didn't you tell me before?" his voice sounded worried.

"Because... at that moment... it didn't hurt." my voice cracked in pain.

"We have to go to a hospital" he took out his cellphone and asked for an Uber to the nearest hospital.

When we arrived, the nurses attended to me quickly and took me to a room. They asked me a couple of questions, luckily they spoke English. Ben filled out the paperwork for my admission, while we waited for the doctor. As soon as he came in and checked me over and said.

"This baby is ready" what! but it was still a couple of weeks before I was due. "Get things ready for delivery and call the pediatrician."

All the nurses started moving quickly and I started to freak out.

"Calm down," Ben said, taking my hand and kissing me "It's going to be okay, I'm with you."

"Okay," the doctor said, "on my signal, you're going to push as hard as you can, okay?", I nodded.

"You can do it, sweetie, now it's your turn to bring our trophy into the world."

"Now!" the doctor said.

After pushing three or four times, I heard our baby cry.

"Congratulations! It's a boy," the doctor said. "Do you want to cut the umbilical cord?" he asked, looking at Ben, and Ben nodded. A nurse handed Ben a pair of scissors. Watching him cut the cord was the most beautiful moment.

As soon as it was cleaned up, they took the baby away to check that he was healthy and strong because he had been born a couple of weeks earlier. strong because he had been born a couple of weeks before.

"You did great Y/N," Ben said, kissing my lips "he is going to be fine".

Ben texted our family and the lads at Chelsea to let them know that everything had gone well and that the baby was healthy.

A couple of hours later a nurse came in with our little boy in her arms and handed him to me.

I couldn't believe that this little human being had come out of me.

"Look at him, he is as handsome as his daddy," said Ben next to me, I let out a little laugh.

"I know, he's going to be a little heartbreaker."

"I don't know which one of you two I should thank, but you have certainly made this day unforgettable" Ben's eyes were covered with a couple of tears, he was over the moon, "I'm a double champion, I won a title and a baby".

"Who knew you were going to come home with a trophy and a baby," I laughed.

Our baby was still very small but I did not doubt that he was a clone of Ben.

Since everything was under control and he was a healthy baby, the next day they let us go. So our little guy came out dressed in a Chelsea onesie that the team sent us, plus other essentials for Ben and I that we didn't have because it was all unexpected. They also sent us the baby seat so we could take him home.

We didn't know if taking a newborn on a plane was a good idea, but we couldn't stay longer in Portugal. Luckily, the doctor said there was no problem, as our baby was healthy and could handle a couple of hours on the plane. At the hospital they helped us with the paperwork so we didn't have any problems when we arrived in London.

I was glad we were going back to London with the rest of the team because then Ben could still celebrate with them. The kids and families watching us were excited, all wanting to meet little Ben.

"Congratulations, Dad," Mason said as soon as he saw his teammate.

"Thanks, buddy," they hugged. "Would you like to be his godfather?"

Mason smiled and said.

"No need to ask."

When we found out I was pregnant, we spent more time wondering who was going to be our baby's godfather rather than thinking about names. We both agreed it would be Mason since he was a close friend of both of ours.

As soon as we landed we went straight home. We wanted to rest and assimilate everything that had happened over the weekend. I was glad that our baby was born early because Ben was able to be present at the birth and enjoy our boy for a couple of days before he left for his international duties.

[animeyanderelover]

This one wanted to be kept anonymous and what is asked shall be done.

Request: Can you please do Prompt 72 for Claude Faustus?

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, overprotectiveness, kidnapping, sabotage, manipulation, teasing

Prompt 72: “Do you want your underwear back?”

You hated approaching that man, you hated being with him, no matter how hard he might try to change your mind. Being stuck with someone who wasn't even a human was really everything, but pleasant. Being completely isolated in a cottage you weren't allowed to leave was unpleasant. And the trues cherry on top of everything was his personality, rge unbelievable confidence he seemed to have in himself that he would get you to love him and all the teasing and provoking just to get his sadistic fun out of it.

His methods were rather simple, but smart and effective nevertheless. Whenever you were ignoring him, he did something to leave you with no choice but to seek for him. As much as you hated admitting it, he was the one who took care of you, meaning that without him you wouldn't be provided with the basic needs a human needed daily for living. Because you knew from previous experiences that as much as he chose to be lenient, Claude got quickly annoyed and was ready to punish you when you made him snap which didn't end always well. It wasn't like he hurt you physically, but he very much always showed you that he was the one in power and the one you would have to rely on for everything. Clearing this up hurt your pride more than anything else and you just knew that he wanted to embarrass you by having you admitting it.

Making you come to him, having you pleading him to help you had to be the most shameful for you to do, having to do what he wanted just so you would also get what you wanted. It wasn't good for your own self-esteem and knowing Claude, he did everything on purpose so this would happen. Your guess was to feed his ego a bit by knowing that you had to come to him when you needed help.

He probably intended to push you into developing Stockholm syndrome and forcing you to think that he was all you needed, you had figured out that his kind seemed to be more possessive over persons they had chosen as their "mates".

If you remembered right one of your friends had once told you that it was her dark fantasy to have someone going after her who would be ready to kill for her, everyone seemed to like this thought of having someone loving them who would do anything for the person of desire. And back then you might have even wanted the same, but now you could have beaten your ounger self up for thinking about this. People only knew better after having witnessed certain things, same counting for you. You were alone, helpless, left at the mercy of your captor.

You were in no condition to look in those golden eyes, not wanting to see the same amused and pleased look from all of this. No, absolutely not. But even without looking up, you felt those eyes sliding over your body, causing goosebumps to start coverin your whole body and your face to burn up, knowing what would await you in your nearest future.

It was all his fault, he had done it once again on purpose, you knew it had to be true. Why else would his eyes linger a bit longer on the place between your legs that currently was at it's most vulnerable, unprotected which added a new kind of shame to all of this? He must have done it, there was no other explanation.

"You seem to feel tonight a bit more bold than usual, don't you think so?", he asked, the slight amusement in his voice all too audible which had you boiling even more. How much you would have died to just smash him in his face to feel satisfaction. But it would only be for a few seconds before you might agitate Claude and making him angry was not a good idea, not in the least bit. Especially now that you were left so exposed.

"Claude...Where is my underwear?", you pressed out, eyes still trained on the wooden floor under your feet, not a single scratch or trace of dust on it. That you had to give Claude, he made sure that the house always stayed in top shape. What had he said once before? A pretty house for his pretty made? Something in that direction.

Black and polished shoes entered your vision, the sudden closeness causing your skin to crawl and make you stumble frightened a few feet back, not having sensed his fast approach. A short huff of air was heard from him, sounding like he was a bit annoyed and yet entertained by this small act of yours, making you bite angrily your tongue. Making yourself look like a fool wasn't what you planned on doing whilst being with him. It gave him only more stuff to irritate you with.

"(y/n)...I thought we already talked about this. You have to look someone in the eyes when you want something from them. Otherwise I'm afraid I won't be able to help you and you know I will gladly do anything for you if you would just let me. If you just wouldn't be that incorrigible."

Ah yes, that shit again. Your manners and the tantrums you sometimes threw about the situations you were stuck in, the disapproving looks from Claude whenever you acted out of the place, the constant lecturing that came afterwards. He really came in such scenarios over as a butler who wanted to make sure that others were behaving like they should be and scolding them if they didn't. It put you always down whenever he pointed those things out, you knew you weren't perfect and him rubbing it constantly under your nose wasn't helpful. It led you to such moments where you just felt like you were under average, reaching your lower points.

It was no reason to give up nor was it an excuse to stop fighting, especially since the butler planned on making you feel that way, to slowly break you. Still, he was currently the only person you were able to see, meaning there was no one to cheer you up, no one to tell you otherwise. You were all on your own with the only source of comfort being the golden-eyed man. And there were those times where you questioned if giving up your pride was the better and less painful option and indeed just giving in would make your life easier. The moments where you became all too aware of the one and only fact. That a human wouldn't be able to beat a demon, at least not a human like you.

This was one of those moments where you felt like a fly trapped in the web of the spider and where the only option was pleading and hoping he would choose to be lenient with you. "Just standing there and not saying anything won't help you nor can I help you when you are like this. If you don't have anything to say, please go back to bed. It's pretty late and I have to leave tomorrow morning early to work in the manor of my master."

He didn't sound happy whilst saying it, you knew that he didn't really like how his master was constantly bossing him around and on some days he complained for a few seconds about what a brat that boy really was, even more when because of him Claude had to be kept busy which meant leaving you longer alone.

You were stuck in denial, not thinking it would be good to do as he said. Not letting having it the way he wanted it to go was important for your own sanity, to prevent you from getting caught in his trap and grow over time too dependent on him. But you also could estimate what would happen afterwards. He would take something else from you away to push you into having to ask him once again and he would continue this for as long as he had the patience. That meant for you more and more embarrassment and hurt. Was that what you wanted? Or should you just go with the easy option to keep the damage as small as possible and live with this scratch on your pride?

You heard his footsteps slowly fading more and more away from you telling you that he was leaving you in your frozen state behind. Why wouldn't he? He had the time and the power to do so. Claude knew that the one way or another you would have to come to him and it was what allowed him to have confidence. This luxury was sadly only open for him whilst you were only allowed to live a good life for as long as he was pleased with how you acted. It was cruelly unfair, but you knew that this was how life was. The one in power and the one at the bottom.

"Wait.", you called faintly after him, making him stop, golden eyes being met with yours, the look in them being comparible with being tired and done with something. You looked leached out, your pride already having taking so many blows before and every time it became harder to fix the damage and pain he put you through like this. Maybe there would come a time where you would have to give up indeed, you doubted that anyone would be able to stay strong whilst suffering from this. But maybe you were wrong and there were people out there who would be able to stand their ground. And maybe you just weren't this person.

"Claude...My underwear.", you slowly muttered out, forcing your gaze to not waver too much and stay on him, knowing you would have to repeat it again if you would look away. And that would mean more poison for you to swallow.

"Do you want your underwear back?", he asked with a silk-like voice, smoothly walking with a few huge steps over to you to take a better look at your current state. How wonderful, he felt extremely satisfied in that one moment. You were slowly being stripped off your stubborness to accept him, instead starting to to him when you needed something. Just two months ago you wouldn't have even thought in your wildest dreams to ask him for help. It just told him that you were slowly breaking, were getting exhausted from all of this.

"Yes. Please.", you said in a more quiet voice, now that he was being so close to you again you felt your gaze shifting somewhere completely else, still not being able to shake the drilling look of him off. Hopefully he wouldn't force you to ask him once again.

"See? This wasn't as hard after all wasn't it?" His voice was laced with a certain sweetness in it, leaving you with a bitter stinging in your heart. That was not true at all. You had just now sacrificed a part of your own confidence. Not like he would care. And not like you would tell him that. You didn't feel in the mood to do so and now it would be dangerous to do so, whilst you felt so incredibly small and helpless. It would be too easy for him to get in your head.

Instead of answering you let out a noise akin to a gentle hum, making yourself a bit smaller, feeling a bit intimidated by the way he was towering over you. Claude seemed to take notice of this and to your surprise he was suddenly kneeling in front of you, although you had almost bet he would push your buttons a bit more right now. But maybe he didn't feel in the mood to be that way, not after you had for the first time ever finally broken a bit in front of him.

With his own face suddenly so close to his, you had no other place to avoid those golden eyes, scanning slowly over your embarrassed and ashamed expression. "You don't have to be scared of me. You know that I wouldn't hurt you. I'm not lowlife like other creatures you might have met."

"Then why do you do this to me?", you stuttered out, by now feeling your eyes tearing up. "Because I only want the best for you. I know how to treat you good, better than anyone else. And all I try to do is helping you to realize this. It would make life easier for you too. I just want you to trust me."

[thedaredevilsgirl]

Broken Heart - Part 2

Warnings: A little angst at the beginning. Sebastian Stan being a great best friend and a good shoulder to cry on.

Word count: 1244

A/N: Sorry for the delay in posting part two, I had some personal issues but everything is taken care of now. Forgive any grammatical mistakes, English is not my first language.

Part 1 Part 3

It took less than an hour to hear a knock on your door, you open it quickly and see Sebastian standing there, he smiles sympathetically and shows you the two bottles he was holding.

"I brought Wine in case you want to cry and get drunk and Whiskey in case you want to cry, get really drunk and have a huge hangover tomorrow" He says entering your apartment and putting the bottles on the table.

"Which one do you recommend for a horrible ending?" He asks.

"Definitely Whiskey" he replies smiling.

You hug him tightly and start crying again, he wraps his arms around you returning the hug.

"I can't believe he broke up with me".

"Your tears were already staining his shirt, but he didn't care, he just wanted to take care of his best friend.

The two of them met a few years ago, long before you met Tom, and they became best friends almost instantly, they were almost like brothers, always looking out for each other and protecting each other. Sebastian literally threatened to beat Tom if he broke his heart, and frankly he was thinking of keeping this promise right now.

He helps you to sit on the couch and you take the bottle of whiskey, open it quickly and take a big sip, you felt the liquid burn in your throat and hoped it would ease your pain, but it didn't.

"Are you going to take it straight from the bottle? Is that the level of your sadness?" He asked smiling.

"Yes, that's the level of my sadness" she replied before taking another sip and passing the bottle to him who takes a large sip quickly.

"Ok honey, now tell me what really happened?" he asks worriedly.

"Ever since people found out about our relationship it seems like something has been going wrong, I've been called fat, ugly or self-interested all over the internet and people invade my privacy as if it doesn't matter" she passes her hand over her face trying to wipe the tears that were flowing "Don't get me wrong, most of his fans were super sweet to me and said they just wanted to see him happy, but others...they threw so much hate on me that I don't think I believe I can be his girlfriend anymore myself".

"But what exactly led you to break up?"

You recount everything that happened, all those people in front of your work, your boss fighting with you, the scratched car, and the fight with Tom while the two of you practically drank the entire bottle of whiskey.

"He took their side, said something about them just loving him too much, Then of course I said that kind of thing isn't love and said how much they were hurting me and he said it better end so I wouldn't be hurt" you let your head fall back against the couch.

"Y/N" you look at him "Don't think I am defending him, because I am not, I will always stand by you, what those people did to you was horrible and him defending them was even worse, but maybe he broke up with you to try to protect you" He holds your hand.

"Protect me from what?" she asks laughing.

"You said yourself that it was hurting you, maybe he just didn't want to see you get hurt like that anymore".

You laugh at his answer and roll your eyes.

"Y/N I'm serious, look the life of a known person is hard."

"I know, I knew that when we first started dating, that's why we kept it a secret."

"I know Tom loves you, shit, he tried my patience when you guys first met just so I could convince you to go on a date with him. Do you know how hard it is to have this life? It has been months since I have slept with someone, I am afraid to date anyone, I am afraid that this person is only getting involved with me for fame or money or I am afraid that this person really likes me and gets exactly this hate that you are living, it is terrible, if this happened to the woman I love I would probably break up with her to keep her safe. People see this life of fame and think everything is wonderful, but they don't know how painful it is to see someone you love being affected by it.

You lift the bottle and look deep into his eyes.

"Here's to this fucked up life."

He laughs before taking the bottle from your hand and taking a large sip.

"A toast."

•─────✧─────••─────✧─────•

The first thing you notice when you wake up is the unbearable headache, then you realize that you are naked on your bed and there is an arm around your waist. For a short while you think that maybe yesterday was just a dream and you and Tom never had that horrible fight and it didn't end, but some flashes from the night before fill your head and you realize what a shit you've done.

You look over and see Sebastian lying next to you on the bed also without clothes and you scream regretting it seconds later when it affects your headache.

"More shit" he says waking up, he looks at you and seems to realize also what happened last night.

You quickly get out of bed and start to get dressed.

"What did we do? What did we do? What did we do?" you say nervously, pacing from side to side.

Sebastian gets up and gets dressed as well before grabbing her arm and forcing her to stop.

"Honey, calm down ok" he says.

"How can I calm down, we just ruined our 5 year friendship".

"We didn't ruin anything, hey look at me" you look at him and take a deep breath trying to calm down "it was just sex, you were sad because of the man you love and I was needy, we were both drunk and ended up doing it, but we are best friends and we will stay best friends, nothing will change, ok?" He speaks and hugs you tightly.

"Ok" you answer him becoming a little calmer.

Your life managed to change drastically in less than 24 hours, you ended your relationship and ended up having sex with your best friend to console your broken heart. You were proud to say that you weren't dramatic, but you were certainly living in a lot of drama right now.

"Remind me never to drink again, please," you say embarrassed.

"If it's any consolation, you're great in bed, I'm sure Tom will miss it very much" he says laughing and you slap his arm playfully.

"You're unbelievable" you laugh and turn away from him before heading for the bathroom, but before you can get in you stop in front of the door and turn to look at him "Sebastian, I don't remember if we used condoms or not".

He stands thoughtfully for a few seconds before answering.

"We sure did, we were drunk but we are not irresponsible, don't worry about it" he shrugs and you agree with him.

It was just a one night stand, everything would go back to normal. You and Sebastian have been friends for years and this would not affect your lives at all, nothing would change.

Everything was going to be fine.

[frickenfaded]

--SFW--

This is my first headcanon ever. It's kind of a headcanon anyway.. This is how I think the Feral Boys would react to (f!) Reader getting mad over something stupid while she's on her period.

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Dream

It was about midday and {Y/n} had to force herself to get out of bed to retrieve food. She decided she would get cereal and return straight to her blankets. Once in the quite kitchen, she reached up in a cabinet and grabbed a bowl, however she accidentally set it down way too hard and the brittle glass bowl shattered everywhere.

She was absolutely enraged. All she wanted was a bowl of cereal and *this* is what she gets? It didn't take long after to hear the thomping footsteps of her boyfriend coming down the stairs to see what the commotion was about. {Y/n} stood with her arms crossed, about to make a move for the broom. "Fucking damnit." She cursed, unbelievably mad at the smallest event.

Dream ended up beating {Y/n} to the broom, sweeping up the shards of glass that littered the tile. He was being extremely careful and thinking his words over before speaking. He knew she was in her period, and that meant she gets angered easily and doesn't like being clung onto by anyone during the week. However, he recognized that she still appreciates his presence.

He steps a little closer, giving a small forehead kiss to his girlfriend before resuming the cleaning. "Baby, if you want too, you can lay in my bed while I edit. I'll clean this up and bring you some cereal." He suggested. "How did you know I even wanted cereal?" She asked. "Because, that's normally what you crave." He answered. She thought for a moment before deciding to take him up on his offer. "Thank you, baby." She mutters before heading upstairs.

George

The relationship between {Y/n} and George was still fairly new, this being their third month together. Therefore, he still isn't exactly sure what his girlfriend needs during her special time of the month. However, he's sort of getting the idea. It's just a bit tricky for him to know for sure when she's going through it, because she doesn't tell a soul. She leaves them guessing, taking pride in it even.

But this time was a little different. She was laying down in bed, trying to read the book "Water for Elephants" by Sara Gruen, when the realization struck her that she was currently using her last (pad/tampon/other). She didn't want to leave her bed, much less her house. She angrily closed her book and slammed in down on the nightstand, thinking over her options in her mind.

George just happened to be passing by her door whenever she slammed her book. It startled him a little, but he entered her room nonetheless. Although she heard him come in, she refused to tear her focus away from her thoughts. George knew something was up a couple days ago. The possibility of her monthly happening was a thought, but he wasn't 100% sure.

"Is everything okay?" He asked, walking over to the edge of the bed before sitting down. "No." She immediately answers, crossing her arms over her chest. She still didn't really want to give in that easily, though. She still had her pride, despite her situation. "What happened?" He wondered. "Nothing." She replied, avoiding his careful gaze.

"C'mon, Love, we both know that isn't true." He says, softening his tone of voice. She almost instantly melts into his stare. She huffs out a breath, however desperate to keep her silence. He treads lightly, brushing a strand of messy hair from her face, whilst caressing her cheek in the meantime. She finally gives way, breaking through to him as if a dam just broke. "Fine." She states.

He smiles, knowing he won without asking the question that would set him up for failure. "I'm on my last (pad/tampon/other) and I don't want to leave the house." She explained. George breaks into a small fit of laughter. "Was it really something that simple? That's nothing compared to what I thought was wrong. But I can get you what you need, Love." He says, after narrowly avoiding a harsh glare. "Would you like anything else while I'm gone?" He wonders. "Hm.. Maybe some chocolate... Please." She answers. He nods before giving her a swift kiss.

Sapnap

Sapnap.. Is quite the special case, to say the least. He does n o t pick up on hints very well... Which leaves him very lost and confused when his girlfriend all of the sudden starts acting a lot different than normal and suddenly more distant with him. She didn't exactly mean too, it was just what happens during her period.

He was scared that he did something wrong because of this, but he couldn't come up with a reason why. Did he leave the toilet seat up? Maybe he accidentally ignored her? What if he forgot about something they were supposed to do? Dear God, did he forget their anniversary or her birthday or something? Despite what he thought he did, he wanted to try and "make things right."

He entered her bedroom as she watching a John Mulaney special on Netflix. He stood beside her bed. "Hey, could we play Pokémon together?" He asked. "No. I don't feel like it." She didn't mean to add the annoyed tone to her voice, but she did. She was just annoyed in general. "D-Did I do something wrong?" He asked, scared of her answer. It was then when she realized she was being short with him and distant.

She sighed, knowing she owed him an explanation now. "I'm sorry, Darling. I didn't mean to come across like that. I'm just... cramping really bad today, and I'm really really really craving some ice cream, but I don't want to get up either." She explains, rambling just a little bit. He blushes a little when he realizes what was going on, but he quickly retrieves some ice cream for the both of them, before joining her in bed and finishing the John Mulaney special together.

Karl

Manz is prepared. I'm talking, he's got a secret box in his closet filled with everything she may need, from pads, to tampons, to chocolates, to a heating pad, he has it all. He's so dedicated to making sure he does everything right that he has a period tracker app on his phone to know when she's about to start. Therefore, he knows when he needs to back up and give you some breathing room.

So one day, when his girlfriend got very upset just because her phone died, he knew exactly why. "Do you need absolutely anything? I brought you a chocolate bar." He says when he hears the ruckus from her room. She softens up almost immediately, always touched by the way he knows what to do and say.

"Thank you.. Could you plug my phone up, please?" She asks. He happily jumps on the simple task, despite her charger literally being right beside her. "And maybe... could we cuddle for a little while too?' She wonders. He smiles brightly. "Definitely." He agrees, before slipping in bed with her as they start to watch Hamilton for the third time.

Quackity

Quackity seems to think it's comedy gold whenever his girlfriend gets infuriated by the tiniest things. He was sitting on the couch, watching something on the T.V., while {Y/n} came out of her room for the first time since today. She came to get a snack herself, not wanting to bother her boyfriend much.

But what she failed to notice as she was walking through the Living Room, was the Thanos doll that Quackity completely forgot to pick up earlier. And of course, she stepped on the damned thing. She yelped, almost falling over thanks to the toy. In a fit of rage, she picked the doll up and stomped over to one of the open windows, throwing it as hard as she could into the outside world.

Quackity could not stop laughing from the moment she stepped on the plastic toy, now laughing harder than ever because of it. "Shut up! It's your stupid fucking fault the thing was left there anyway!" She cursed, clearly displeased. He didn't listen, of course. "I-I'm sorry." He said through his laughter. As much as she wanted to stay mad, his laughter was contagious.

She ended up bursting with laughter as well, their voices mixing like milk and honey in the atmosphere. {Y/n} joined Quackity on the couch, laying across his lap as he played with her hair, the two starting to talk about random topics. She always went through a few days on her period where she was just a little more clingy than the others, but Quackity just learned to accept that. He wouldn't say it exactly, but he did actually enjoy it.

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That's it for this one lovelies! As I mentioned, this is indeed my first headcanon ever and actual content post I've posted on Tumblr. Therefore, I hope it wasn't too shabby. I'll get the hang of things soon, but for now, if you'd like to read any other things I've posted, the list is short, because I am pretty new here, but this option is available to you though this link:

My Creations♡

I hope you enjoy your stay here! Requests are always open! ♡♡