#it's a lame starter but come plot w/ me !!

[cwarscars]

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑.

𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞.  han or sexy bitch w/e u prefer honestly

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬.   she/her

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. discord ( ims are ok but staring at the lil box makes me wanna die & i ALWAYS lose track of my ims, especially longer messages ). my discord is always available on request !

𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞(𝐬). heid has been active for a long while now, kaz is VERY active right now & krauser/volgin are nudging me for attention ( they can be found here ! )

𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞/𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 (𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐬/𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬?). i’ve been writing fanfics since i was a whippersnapper ( around fifteen odd years ) but i’ve been roleplaying for around twelve on tumblr. 

𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐯𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝. mainly just tumblr for longer roleplays. i use discord sometimes ( but find it hard to keep track of ) and wire in the past. i like tumblr though for roleplaying, it’s easy and the layout is nice. especially for longer stuff. less pressure than discord, too, i find. 

𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞.   the friends we made along the way owo. no, really. i’ve had a lot of nice experiences with making friends online while roleplaying. that’s been really fun. in general, there’s been moments in fandoms and stuff that have just been hilarious. i love the sense of community in some fandoms & the connections you form with people over something as silly as a dumb au or character opinion. those sides of tumblr rp are the best sides. 

𝐫𝐩 𝐩𝐞𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐬 / 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐬.  there are a few things that immediately turn me off in fandom / rpc. i cannot stand elitism, especially when it comes to canon characters. i have seen people be put down /so many times/ by people who claim to ‘know the characters’ and have put themselves atop a pedestal of ‘best fan ever’ - it’s fucking lame. you’re a full grown adult and you’re shitting on people for not writing a fictional character the way you’d write them. everyone’s allowed opinions and you’re allowed not to like other people’s portrayals, but the elitism by some people just makes me cringe. it’s never needed. 

another thing is the people obviously in fandom for likes / attention. they strive for no real connection with peeps and just want the dopamine of getting a bunch of likes on a post. they never post ic shit and just constantly make posts like starter calls / attention calls. it’s become really popular in the last couple years and i’m not a fan of it. 

finally, graphics / aesthetics. i say this as someone who makes this shit; it is not the be all and end all of rping. you don’t have to look super fancy to be good. a lot of my favourite writers on tumblr have simple aesthetic / graphics. ultimately, people can style their blogs however they want but when people turn their noses up at others cause you don’t have the latest in deep fried psds with super hard to find links and a theme that makes your eyes scream, that’s sad.

𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭. i don’t mind ! i like them all but certainly lean toward angst. i find fluff is fun to do with characters who are more lighthearted / cutesie and smut is very one-note for me. i can write a couple smut scenes in quick succession and then i’m burnt out ( two pump chump LOL ). i find smut can outstay it’s welcome very fast so that’s why it’s so hit & miss for me. angst, i find fun but it depends on the muse & setting. 

𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬. both. i like answering memes because anything can come from a meme. a whole au or storyline can be spawned from a silly meme or a line of dialogue from music / a film. it’s why i try to write longer replies to memes, it’s because i try to think of a setting / why they’re in a certain situation. in terms of plots, i only like plots that have an actual plot. i don’t mean setting. i mean plot. saying our character’s are astronauts for this thread is good and all but - where are they going? what happens in the end? how did they get there? i like plots that are FULLY fleshed out and don’t like ‘winging’ plots. i find it way easier to write and enjoy a thread if i know the trajectory it’s on rather than just saying fuck it and writing whatever springs to mind. i should have mentioned above but one of my biggest bugbears while plotting is how everyone seems so reluctant to plot a beginning / middle / end to threads.

𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬. either. i don’t know how people write so much all of the time and find myself honestly intimidated by super long threads. i try to write as much will come to mind. i don’t like one liners much because i hate making icons ( lol rip ) - so, like 2-4 paras is usually pretty comfy for me. 

𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞.  it’s 6am right now & i’ve written like 6 ask response and this lol. i write at weird times cause it’s when my house is quiet & i pretty much need silence to write. >.<

𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞(𝐬). LOL. umm, i’ve said before that i think i’m as stubborn and blunt as heid but i try not to be rude / nasty like he is. in terms of my other lads, i’m similar to gladio in that i can be a little self-righteous and i guess i’m like kaz in a lot of my morals / beliefs. but otherwise, i’m not a sadist and i try not to be a villain so hopefully i’m not too much like them lol 

tagged by: nobody, i YANKED it

tagging: @alphateamsfinest @poeticphoenix @ubcs @infernocharged @witchcraftandburialdirt @pitgritted​ 

[duhaudrey-blog]

Audrey was staring off in space wondering how long she’ll actually be in New York for, she thought it was a beautiful place and she wanted to stay longer than any place that she previously stayed. Her thoughts where just all over the place as it seems as if someone was trying to speak to her. Her vision then focused on the person and she sighs. “Sorry.. did you say something? To be honest, I wasn’t listening.. my mind is elsewhere today.”

[phoebehalliwell]

Hello, I just wanted to say I'm a major Charmed fan and love all four sisters! That being said, as much as I love Paige, I've still always hated that Prue had to die (even though it's been over 20 years, I'm still not over it), and I hate even more that Prue and Phoebe's relationship never had a chance to truly recover from her lie about Cole. Also , I think could see why you shipped Prue/Jack, there relationship certainly had a Moonlighting like dynamic to it, didn't it?

yeah wait we did just clear the twenty year anniversary of prue dying in may huh crazy how time works but like. like okay because ik the whole the way the story goes was ~they didn't know if they were killing off shannen or alyssa~ they left it ~open ended bc they didn't know which sister would die~ but like. they knew. oh bro they so knew. like dude. phoebe got a hot new steamy love interest filled w drama and intrigue who was like integral to the plot after basically two seasons of being love-interest-less prue got what? justin?? prue got an episode coming to terms w the fact she will die. like. they knew okay. and like. what breaks my heart is prue as a character like deserved So Much More like she deserved to break free of this narrative of matriarchal sacrifice that she had been locked into like prue practically had to sacrifice her childhood to raise us yeah yeah but like bro there are genuinely so few places where she got to like actually experience life outside of protecting her sisters and then she died protecting her sisters like aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. like aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. like bro u knew u were going to kill her and you end her & phoebe on that. even if we're sticking with the narrative they didn't know which sister would die there was the very conscious choice to end the narrative on that. so like. 🤬

of course like. tbh. i don't think prue & phoebe's relationship needs to like fully like "recover" from cole i don't think this is nearly as big of a rift as say roger bc i think between the past three years like they've really grown as people and have a new respect for one another that really had yet to be unearthed in it pilot but it's still like. like phoebe was in the underworld trying to save cole when prue died (& piper almost died!!) and we never do see her grapple with that. like even when we're sowing seeds of doom by making cole the source and have phoebe go full dark side like even in the midst of tanking phole we never bother to get some good old fashioned anger self hatred and making the wrong choice like. like that good have been really fun.

but then!! circling over 2 prue/jack bc i do really love prue/jack i think like my favorite thing about it is like. just like how fun and stupid it is. like. like okay so for starters i will say i love the idea of jack as the one to be prue's first real love interest after andy because with andy like you really did have this whole childhood friends to lovers this deep mutual understanding and trust and love and passion like definitely set up to vibe like soulmatism and then he fuckin bites the dust. but like. it's 1999. it's shannen doherty. she can't be an shw forever like you need your female characters to have love interests that's just kind of the way the world works but how do you top andy? how do you beat like the love of her life her perfect man? do you try to go well here's her perfect-er man,, this one's even better than before!! that we did so many countless times with phoebe no because that shit's fucking stupid instead they said here's jack sheridan & he fuckin sucks. & i love it i really do for starters excellent representation for women who are into lame ass guys like i know it's easy to say like haha i'm into guys and aren't they all lame but i'm talking specifically a man being lame is what makes him unreasonably sexy it's a mental condition i know i suffer from it it's bad but it's also like. really funny. but it's also bad. but that's not the point. the point is prue/jack was always supposed to be something kind of stupid something with an imminent expiration date you know? this is not andy. i mean from the moment we met andy we're like hearing wedding bells right from the moment we meet jack we're like ew wtf lol??? like both prue And jack know goddamn well entering this relationship that this is pointless. this is only here to end. and yet!! in spite of that!!! genuine love blossoms!!!! like. whether or not prue was ever in love with jack is definitely debatable i don't think she ever was like in love with him per se mainly because she didn't like. she didn't want to be. she didn't want to do love again that wasn't the point of this relationship so she's not gonna do it. and then for jack theoretically it should be the same thing because like he does constantly play it so nonchalant like he's not head over heels fucking in love with her but he is!!!! he took this relationship that was meant to be casual and stupid and over in a month and he fuckin blew it man he fell So So In Love With Her. like. drives me crazy it does i love that dynamic. and there was something there from prue's side too like. like over and over again she's telling him like you're not the guy for me you're not the guy i'm going to end up with But right now you're the one i want. like. like she has this vision definitely this andy-like figure someone who will you know be the stable father to her kids and her steady husband for many many years to come and her brain's going yeah no way that's jack but at the same time she doesn't care??? like, she likes him right now? she wants to spend time with him right now??? like fuck that potential future mr. right because he's not the one prue wants to spend time with right now she'd rather spend the night with jack like!!!!!! there are some vastly underrated dynamics going on with pruejack that definitely make me start munching on drywall every time i talk about them but like Oh My God. them <3. lol.

[prrrower]

How I Run This Bitch My Blog :-)

[ under a cut bc i literally can never shut the hell UP lolol ]

Speed: oof well,, i think i can be pretty slow at times lol. i often will write a reply and then delete it and redo it bc i’m not happy with it. also longer threads are often the ones that take me longer, since i like to think over what i’m gonna write. plus i do have a life so yknow this stuff gets put on the back burner sometimes. 

if it’s shitposting/short stuff i think i reply pretty decently... lmao ; w; 

Replies: i generally try to match whatever the other person writes tbh! i know that sometimes with the longer stuff i get a bit rambly ( bc i love writing introspection sometimes lknbefvd ) so s/o to all the cool people who don’t get upset about that :-) especially when it’s tech stuff GOD im so sorry lkngklegnfv

Starters: oh i don’t. do the ‘starter calls’ really,.. not for any dramatic reason lmao it’s bc i’m not great at coming up with multiple starters at once; they always end up pretty same-y, which sucks! so i never really uhhhh do starters :’’’) i also get overwhelmed VERY easy so hhhhh i know it’s super shitty of me flgkbnrldn but i’m trying to work my way up to doing them! 

i prefer ask memes to start interactions tbh, i feel like it’s less work for everyone involved lol. haven’t really plotted a whole bunch so idk how i feel about that either lmfao

Inbox: i love asks!! my inbox is open to everyone, whether i post a meme or if you just pop in to say something! however, oftentimes i don’t post every ask i get-- a lot of the time they’re related to crack stuff when i’m joking around with other people on dash, and i try to be conscious of how much i post in general ( but ESPECIALLY with shitposting fgklbnfd ) so, sometimes i just don’t answer stuff when i feel like i’ve been posting too much. if you’ve ever sent me an ask and i didn’t answer, it’s not you!! it’s just me being paranoid lol

Selectivity: well i was originally semi-selective but things change :-) mostly in that i... can be picky, i guess? so i’m selective now; i rp with mutuals mostly. if i follow you, i want to interact with you, that’s the biggest thing lol. i kind of expect somewhat proper grammar ( i speak 2 languages so yes i do understand having trouble with grammar! ) and for people to trim posts. before i had editable reblogs, i redid every single reply i wrote so that it wouldn’t be a giant post; if my dumb ass can do that, i feel it’s not too wild to expect that from others ; w;’’

Wishlist: ooh i don’t actually have one of these! i suppose... i’m always a sucker for tails fixing up robot characters, lol. i also love love love platonic friendship/familial stuff; part of the reason i love tails so much is bc found family stuff is so dear to me! so. yeah i’m a sucker for soft stuff, i guess that’s the mood lmao. 

Honest Note: i am babey and don’t often talk to people first; i’m just shy by nature and uhhh i think people often believe that means i’m very cold or something but it’s literally just that i’m very shy. i’m also yknow mid twenties and i hope people don’t think i’m creepy or something??? i’m always lowkey worried about that tbh lol,,

also i think that bc i don’t do fancy formatting people think i’m weird/lame, which is fine lmao. i’m colorblind and that shit is just way too hard for me to fiddle with, plus i’ve got lots going on outside of tumblr, so if people don’t want to write with me bc they think my icons/theme are lame like, that’s fine lol.

tagged by: @amidst-the-storm​ ( ty!!! ) tagging: this seems to be the meme of the day so if you’ve not done it, here’s ur chance <3

[ladyimaginarium]

HOW I RUN MY BLOG.

SPEED:  it depends on the day and what i’m doing, but for the most part i’m average leaning on the slower side. depending on the size of a thread, for example, i’ll take longer on certain threads than others because of muse(s) and just how many I have tbh LMAO and inspiration for said thread and all that. i can literally range from being a cryptid to a cheetah LOL

REPLIES:  usually multi - paragraph depending on my inspiration for said thread. i don’t mind one liners and short shit if the thread is meant to be short, though.

STARTERS:  starter calls  +  plotted is preferable when i can manage it, i’d prefer that more than winging it, honestly, because it feels like it’s actually going somewhere, if that makes sense. however, once contact with a mun has been established and we’re both comfortable with each other that’s usually when i won’t shut the fuck up and you get 1000000 starters, asks and memes from me. please politely tell me if it annoys the shit out of you, though, because manners ain’t dead and subtlety   ??   idk her man.

INBOX:  inbox is always open for memes,  unprompted asks and whatnot, depending on the muse and their category. anon’s on but if i get like a fuckton of hate or whatever i’m shutting that shit off because people can be fucking cowards. :))))))))))))))

SELECTIVITY:  mutuals only.  some mutuals have been with me since literally forever while others are new. i’m very selective w/ who i interact with, honestly.

WISHLIST:  whatever the fuck is in that tag really. for your information, it’s THIS.

HONEST NOTE:  i’m a mess and we all fucking know it. i also realize im kinda strict when it comes to my rules but that’s just because people either didn’t care to read them or abided by them in the past. im also like ..... really protective of my muses and i realize that maybe sometimes i sound bitchy but that’s because i’m... tired and done with so much shit that goes on in the rpc bc as fun as it can be, there’s a lotta issues w/ it and if u think that it doesnt ur living under a rock lmaooooo. i don’t like it when muses of color, especially native muses are ignored in the rpc especially when everyone preaches about being diverse but hardly anyone practices what they preach, i just ... i don’t like fake woke people. i really fucking don’t. i also have a thing where i say what i think and sometimes i come off as a bit too blunt even when i try not to be an ass. anyway i also don’t like it when my muses are silenced, ignored, treated like shit, not taken seriously, when they’re always getting called babies or infants or people acting like they aren’t adults and like they can do no wrong or when they’re always reduced to fanservice or shipping ie infantilized and oversexualized bc .......... honestly fuck off and miss me w/ that bullshit.  my muses are people. the majority of my muses are grown adults. they have sex, sometimes they have addictions, they are traumatized, they are emotional, they are flawed. i work very very hard to breathe dimension into them and having them reduced to petnames and doting makes me wanna tear out my eyes. even if you think you’re being nice. even if you think it’s just a joke. i know a lot of you don’t realize this but it gets really aggravating after a while. it just ... it just makes my skin crawl bc so many of them are lgbtqia2+ or muses of color or both, so many are neurodivergent or autistic, so many are mentally ill or disabled or abused, so many are native, indigenous, black or asian, so many of them are marginalized and i never liked the idea of putting my muses into stereotypical boxes, either, because that’s boring and lame and just ..... wrong, man.

TAGGED BY: stolen from @zagubionywilk lmaoooo TAGGING: uh idk @undeadrphub @gciltyascharged @warpaved @bloodbrews @angclstrumpct @keptmanners @rhaelluna @historias-multorum​ @moraldestitute​ @atropashe @riffrcffed​ and literally whoever else wants to do this LMAOOOOOO

[image-transcribing-bot]

films about gay people but where the main plot isn't about them being gay {#) ingrid 34 films P m please recommend me movies like this and i'll add them, i'm so tired of romances and coming of age movies... *> Guillermo del Toro's twitter film recommendations *) Ben Macdonald 321 films ¥ 5113 @54 Complete list of the films Guillermo del Toro has recommended on twitter. Click the 'Read notes' button to see his... the films that helped create lady bird (2017) @ grace 23 films #582 @1s A handful of films that inspired Greta Gerwig's directorial debut, Lady Bird and that informed the process of creating it... * | THE MONSTROUS-FEMININE @ bratpitt co films ® 1128 @@ se wit on C ee t vo» [& 1 A barbara creed's essays on the monstrous-feminine made me meson 7 realize that this is my absolute fay film genre -- please comment... stssiot wall | 50+ masterpieces dir. by individuals while they , were in their mid-20s which force you to wonder what you're (not) doing with your life (J Eli Hayes: 53 films \P 1765 @ 118 tfw when akerman, welles, varda and barley show you who's boss. The Cinephile Teen Starter Pack @4 Abel 100 films P 1797 @@ 4 "se eu fosse escrever um roteiro de cinema falaria do vazio e da powiDwo divida como bergman da incomunicabilidade como antonioni... 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die w f Peter Stanley 1199 films \ 9.118 @ 498 All the films from all the editions, including those subsequently removed, presently totalling 1199. An easy way of seeing how... hell is a teenage girl (R) Lucy 50 films P182 @@1 24 - my favorite films featuring the dark and complex lives of teenage girls, some darker than others (not exclusive to the... In Love is in the air...and it stinks (Romances Worth o gues Your Time) + aa (3 Sitent J 86 films AP 144. @0.02 TN Instead of the clichéd, lame romance and rom-com films, in honor of Valentines Season, here are some of the more... film recs: female character studies (1p Lucy 77 films P 1,012 @@40 some of my favorites focusing in depth on female characters

I am an image transcribing bot which uses Tesseract OCR to translate images to text. I'm far from perfect but I try my best! Save food. Save food. | PayPal | Patreon

for some actual film lists: ten of my favorites.

films about gay people but where the main plot isn’t about them being gay

guillermo del toro’s twitter film recommendations

the films that helped create lady bird (2017)

THE MONSTROUS-FEMININE

50+ masterpieces dir. by individuals while they were in their mid-20s which force you to wonder what you’re (not) doing with your life

the cinephile teen starter pack

1001 movies you must see before you die

hell is a teenage girl

love is in the air…and it stinks (romances worth your time)

film recs: female character studies

[lannistars]

i do my best to reply to open starters in the tag but i absolutely hate posting my own opens and almost always post a starter call/closed ones instead. i feel like it's impossible to have a scenario that would work for everyone in the rp without making it super lame and generic so the threads end up sort of flat. besides if people go out of their way to have an actual plot w me i want an actual thread of substance w that char uk.

yeah i definitely get that ! honestly, trying to write an open starter that works well and is open-ended enough is hard ! i’ve written a ton of starters that have flopped hardcore. but i also don’t think every starter has to work for everyone in the rp ? some people won’t have muse or won’t feel like their character could respond, and not everyone in an rp is going to respond to every one of your starters. and i definitely get doing private threads if you have a plot to write out, or a relationship you wanna develop more ! but some of the best plots, relationships, and threads come out of totally unplanned threads !

again i don’t want to invalidate your perspective or make you feel like you should be rping ‘differently’ --- i do get you, & please keep doing what works for you ! but if everyone in the rp feels the exact same way you do, then nobody ever posts an open starter, and people end up only doing private threads with the people they already have plots with, and threads don’t happen unless you talk ooc. personally, i know i’m very nervous when it comes to asking for threads or plots, and am super awkward ooc, so for me i really appreciate people posting open starters so that i can get interactions going and approach people to plot based off those threads ?

[terryblount]

Devil May Cry 5 Review: So Stylish, Very Thrilling, & Too Dull

Devil May Cry: an epic, polarizing series that began in 2001, had a terrible sequel in 2003, fought back with 2005’s worthy third entry, and then went missing in action-gaming after 2007’s well-received DMC 4. Some 12 years later the series is back to deliver the authentic stylized madness fans have been waiting for. So is DMC 5 worthy? Is it brilliant? Is it a must play? Well, you must read on to find out!

Spectacle Fighters Anatomy & DMC 5

Before I give you my overall opinion, let me explain my perspective on DMC-style games. Games of this genre (often called spectacle fighters) have a basic three-part structure: cutscenes, combat, and levels. That’s basically it, and the quality of the game comes down to how expertly each part is crafted. Let’s break down how well DMC 5 fares in each regard.

DMC 5’s cutscenes are immaculate, with off-the-charts production value. The characters are awe-inspiring, both technologically and personality-wise. Just look at the picture below! The hair, the skin, the clothing. It’s all so perfect, both in still pictures and in motion. The story’s a big mess, but we’ll talk about that later.

Do you see these graphics!? They are crazy good!

The heart of any Devil May Cry is the combat, and DMC 5 does not disappoint. Combat is detailed, precise, nuanced, and oh so flashy. There’s countless diverse ways to kill with style and grace, and it’ll take a good 30 or 40 hours to truly master the vast arsenal of weapons, skills, and combos.

So what do you do when not watching mind-blowing cutscenes and engaging in adrenaline-filled death-matches? You stroll through the world, of course! Sadly, this is where DMC 5 nose-dives into surprisingly weak territory, get stuck in the mire of boring and uninspired level design. There’s also far too few unique environments, with a large recycling of level elements. Not good.

TLDR: My DMC 5 Conclusion

Rather than wait until the end, let me give you my personal conclusion. As the review subtitle says, DMC 5 is so stylish…in cutscenes, very thrilling…in combat, and too dull…in level design (and story). All in all, DMC 5 is a wild ride, but I got off the ride disappointed because it could have and should have been so much more.

This is a thrilling ride with chopping and slashing and much blood and style!

To put it another way, if all you care about is beloved characters and intense combat, DMC 5 delivers hardcore. If you want those beloved characters to actually take part in an epic and powerful story set in an imaginative and memorable world, then DMC 5 will likely ring a bit hollow for you.

Now that you know my ultimate opinion, let me back up all my claims with many more words and fun pictures!

Three-Fold Character Combat: Tri-Awesome

Let’s start with DMC 5’s best element: the delicious combat! There’s three unique characters you play as during your adventure, and each is enjoyable and well-crafted. You might come to favor one character, but I found that each character grew on me as I continued to play, which is is a testament to DMC 5’s superb combat design!

You begin with Nero, whose trick is his special right arm that can transform into many different attacks. Nero also excels at quickly grappling enemies, pulling either the enemy or himself closer. Many of his best attacks don’t come until late in the game (and the next playthrough), but Nero is worthy.

Here’s Nero fighting some scary demonic knights. No problem!

A few hours in you switch to the newcomer, V. V is highly unique, using his computer-controlled minions to attack. I really enjoy the semi-real-time-strategy aspect to V. You give you orders and watch as your minions play out their attacks, all while you personally avoid getting hit. It’s a refreshing change of pace from the “one-man-army” style of the other two characters. Speaking of which…

I call this picture ‘away from smoky reddish-vine in a pretty sky cane-man on black-blue-bird rides o’er beat-up railroad tracks.’ The title could use some work.

Toward the second half of the game you finally get to play the true hero of the series: Dante. It’s been a long time coming for DMC fans, but Dante is back and better than ever. He’s powerful, capable, versatile, and very enjoyable to play as.

Ah, the legendary Dante! And…he’s being given a hat-weapon for hat-attacks. For real!

Dante has a veritable arsenal of long-range and short-range weapons, all easily swappable at any time. He also features four unique modes you can switch between during combat. While all of this may sound like a lot, the controls are simple and quick to learn.

There’s a huge selection of skills to unlock, allowing for tons of combat options.

Despite the diversity of characters and attacks, the main takeaway is how extremely balanced and awesome DMC 5’s character combat system is. So slick. So polished. So good.

Enemies & Bosses: Worthy

There’s not much to say here because DMC 5 delivers exactly what you’d expect from a game of this caliber. There’s an excellent roster of enemies, from simple fodder, to smarter underlings, to flying creatures, to hybrids, and other very deadly assortments. Some might wish for more variety, but what’s here is very good.

This is Dante in one of his powerful forms. I have no idea what’s happening here.

On the boss front, there’s a decent, although not extensive, range of small, mid, and large bosses. Some are bipedal. Some are mostly stationary. A few are the huge smashy-smashy types, while the most lethal are the later-game bosses you must carefully duel, either deftly dodging or dying horribly.

Style Rankings, Playthroughs, & Difficulty

In case you’re new to this type of game, the goal of combat isn’t so much to simply win but to win in style (hence the ‘spectacle fighter’ term)! All your moves gain you style points and the goal is to use a variety of moves to reach the coveted ‘S’ rank and beyond.

Here’s a handy tutorial screen teaching us about ranks. From D to S and beyond!

The higher your rank, the more Red Orbs you acquire, which are used to unlock skills (and revive upon death). It’s a great system that works just as well today as it did so many years ago when first introduced.

Devil May Cry is also known for its multiple playthroughs. The first playthrough is a warm-up. The second is a test of competence. The third is a grueling gauntlet…and those beyond are for you to discover for yourself!

You get a rank for every mission. The better you play, the better your rewards.

It should be noted that DMC 5 is very flexible with game difficulty. You can choose to start on ‘Human’ mode, which is quite easy. You can even turn on ‘Auto’ mode, which will perform cool combos without figuring it out yourself. So whether you’re very bad at these types of game or an old pro, there’s an option for you.

Level Design & World Building: Not Good

Oh boy, this is going to be contentious, but I’ve got to be honest. DMC 5’s level design isn’t good: it’s fairly basic and boring. Far too many levels consist of bland hallways, straight tunnels, and no sense of wild exuberance and style that the characters and combat so cleverly display.

This hotel looks quite nice, but it’s just a few hallways and rooms.

What’s worse, the world-building is pretty dismal in DMC 5. World-building is about immersing the player in a believable world that flows naturally from the game’s setting and story. It’s what makes you feel like you’ve “been there” in a game rather than having just “watched it” in a movie.

Sadly, it was hard for me to get a strong sense of place when playing DMC 5 because the levels seem thrown together haphazardly, rather than connecting to form a plausible world. It feels like the developers picked from a grab-bag of video game levels to be backdrops for their insanely good cutscenes.

We’re in a crypt now because crypts are cool…I guess…no real reason beyond that.

You’ve got a sewer level. There’s a crypt and trainyard. A hotel and a metro. Add in some urban settings for good measure. Why these locations? We’ll never know because none of them play into the actual story. It feels like meaningless filler that we’ve seen in other games ten times over.

Recycling Levels: Not Stylish!

Did I mention the game recycles levels quite often? Sometimes you’ll play the same location as a different character, which feels cheap. The most egregious sin, though, is how many missions (seven of them!) take place in the same sort of organic/plant tileset, with only slight modifications.

Get used to seeing this environment…over and over and over and over…

For a type of environment used in literally a third of the game, these organic/plant locations aren’t attractive. They’re visually and thematically sparse and barren. A couple of these levels even reuse the same exact arena multiple times in a row, and it’s darn boring to have such flashy and fun combat set in the same lame physical spaces.

I can’t help but feel many corners were cut in the level design department of DMC 5. The best thing I can say about the level design is the levels are short, so you don’t have to endure too much monotony.

Here’s a market area, but the produce details aren’t so great…

The Cutscenes: A More Critical Analysis

I’ve already said the quality of the cutscenes is insanely good. The acting and voice-work is all exceptionally well-crafted. DMC 5 delivers hyper-believable choreography and performances, with near-perfect facial and body nuance, and there’s extreme charm and likability to each character, in my opinion.

Something happened and there’s much pain. What I mostly notice are his excellent teeth!

So what’s the problem? While the presentation is gorgeous and mesmerizing, the actual story being woven is less like a vivid tapestry and more like a stale, half-eaten perplexing pretzel. Why is it so bad? For starters, the plot relies far too heavily on happenstance.

There’s a plant-thing that emerges to threaten the city. Why a plant and why now? Nobody knows, but the characters just happen to be where they’re needed. Even more problematic is the terrible narrative framing that harshly cuts back and forth in time, jumbling the story to build artificial suspense. Let’s discuss.

The Story: Jarring Narrative Framing

Instead of telling the story chronologically, the game purposefully cuts up story segments to ensure you’re entirely confused for at least the first half of the game. This method can work if done judiciously and wisely, but DMC 5 is heavy-handed and annoying in its shattering of the story.

Why annoying? The framing style results in several game sections being replayed over and over, as the game slowly reveals new tidbits of story truth. It was about the third or fourth time facing off against the same exact boss in the same exact location in the same exact way that I wanted to scream, “Just get on with it!”

You’ll be seeing this scene so many times. Move on with the story already!

Speaking of story tidbits, DMC 5 does have some quality narrative bits, but they’re just that: bits. There’s a heart-warming scene here or there. Some excellent dialogue brings a tiny dose of backstory and motivation to some characters, and there’s one or two powerful reveals. The problem is all these good tiny bits exist in isolation, never coalescing into a coherent and memorable tale.

Some will not care one iota that DMC 5’s story is such a gorgeous mess. However, as a reviewer, I cannot overlook this. Illogical, broken storytelling was more acceptable back in the early days of Devil May Cry, but in 2019 players should expect more.

Nero’s in a destroyed city because sometimes cities get destroyed I guess.

Moreover, when the prior game in the series delivered such a strong and coherent narrative, it’s not acceptable for the series to take such a huge step backwards. Yes, I’m speaking about the 2013 reboot, DmC: Devil may Cry.

Get your popcorn out because I’m about to do what no sane reviewer should ever do: compare the current beloved game to the prior much-maligned game.

2019’s DMC 5 versus 2013’s Dmc: Devil may Cry

Six years ago the prior Devil May Cry game was released, but it wasn’t a proper sequel. It was a reimagining of the series, a reboot both in character and spirit. There was a large and understandable uproar from hardcore DMC fans who’d been waiting 5 years for a continuation of the original Dante & Crew story.

People love the Dante with a rocket launcher, not the scrawny one from 2013.

Despite the fury over the reboot and reimagining of Dante, DmC went on to be one of the best spectacle fighters ever made, and it still holds up today. The combat is intense and cerebral. The story is relevant, engaging, and well-told. The level design is lavishly creative.

But don’t just take my word for it! DMC 5’s director, Hideaki Itsuno, has personally stated that DmC is his favorite entry in the series. That’s quite high praise! And so, I feel it’s extremely appropriate for me to compare this current entry to the prior game because a series should and must continually improve upon each release.

Technology…DMC 5; Combat…Tie!

In some ways DMC 5 is superior to DmC. We’ve already discussed at length how DMC 5’s graphical technology and rendering of characters and animations is phenomenal. Naturally the more recent game wins this category.

Yet another gorgeous cutscene. These characters are so lifelike!

The combat system in both games is brilliant, neither being objectively better. DmC features one playable character (ignoring DLC) and favors weapon-switching based on enemy weapon immunity (blue/red). DMC 5 gives us three distinct playable characters and focuses more on positioning and dodging. Ultimately, which you prefer really comes down to personal tastes, and I personally love both!

DmC: Double the Environments

Now we come to the highly problematic areas of DMC 5, and it’s really too bad DMC 5 doesn’t take more inspiration from DmC when it comes to story and level design.

Let’s start with level design. DmC has some of the most imaginative and exuberant levels of any video game. There’s the wild night club with the ground pulsating to the beat. There’s the crazy vertical scale of climbing through a distorted soda warehouse. DMC 5 has nothing like this.

This bridge level is one of the handful of truly unique environments.

Putting it in math terms, DmC has 16 truly unique level environments out of 20 missions while DMC 5 only has 8 unique level environments out of 21 missions. Let that sink in. DMC 5 has half as many unique level environments. That’s downright pathetic.

To put it another way, DmC gives us 16 complete levels with no reusing of assets. DMC 5 only gives us about 8 complete levels, with the remaining 13 being recycled parts of prior locations. It looks like DMC 5 fell victim to poor planning just like DMC 4’s rushed and recycled level design.

The game loves ruined buildings and roots. It’s downright obsessed with them.

Disconnected versus Logical Environments

To add insult to injury, the limited number of environments in DMC 5 don’t even make story sense, as we noted previously. Instead of using the locations to build the story, the levels all feel very disconnected.

At one point I was tasked with finding a mythical item of power, and I was placed in a graveyard. I thought, “Great, finally a location that makes sense; I’ll find the mythical item in a long-forgotten tomb or something.” Sure enough, there was a fancy tomb, but guess what? The tomb was just for looks, and none of it was connected to the story in any way. Who came up with all this?

See that glowing tomb in the distance? It’s meaningless. This area is just filler.

On the contrary, DmC’s environments make sense. You explore a nightclub because you need to pursue the villain’s lover, who runs the club. You attack a soda factory because you need to stop the poisoning of the people. None of this is groundbreaking storytelling, but it flows nicely and lets the player follow the plot. The same can’t be said for DMC 5.

To sum up, DMC 5 lacks content, and the content that is there makes little story sense. It feels like the level design team and character/cutscene team worked 100% independently, merging their work together at the end without concern for a unified gameplay experience.

Enough of our comparison. Let’s get back to DMC 5 and wrap up some loose review ends.

Multiplayer & Sweet Gold Orbs

DMC 5 features no true multiplayer, however occasionally other player’s gameplay will be shown when going through certain missions. You can see them playing and at the end of the mission you can choose to “thumbs up” their performance. That’s about it.

Notice the two other players, showing recordings of their performances. Also, more roots!

The best thing about this multiplayer is the Gold Orb (extra life) reward if another player “thumbs up” your performance. Gold Orbs are very important items on later difficulties, and unless you’re some action-gaming God, you’ll need dozens of these to make it through the final difficulty levels.

To put the multiplayer rewards into perspective, you’re going to find maybe 20 Gold Orbs through the game, but I was given over 20 Gold Orbs as multiplayer rewards during my time reviewing the game. So if you choose to (of have to) play offline, you’ll be missing out on this.

Sound & Music: Juicy & Delicious

Special mention goes to Capcom’s brilliant audio team. DMC 5 has fabulous sound effects, both in combat and in cutscenes. It also has a wonderful variety of music, with many tracks being so groovy I found myself wishing to hear them again and again while playing. Music is a matter of taste, but DMC 5 is delivers nice noise!

Imagine loud and pounding music playing as V shatters his enemies into fine dust.

Horrible DLC Practices: Pay to Win

Unfortunately, Capcom has decided to sell in-game currency for real money. I condemn this practice. It’s unacceptable, especially since you use this currency to revive. I won’t stop condemning this practice no matter how ‘mainstream’ it becomes. Enough said.

Upon death you can use Red Orbs to revive…which can be bought for real money. YUCK!

Various Minor Issues

The out-of-combat movement system feels a bit weird. Jumping and platforming feels slightly off, and the ‘dash’ ability is strange. Once you unlock it, instead of always running faster, it only kicks in once you’ve run slowly for a few seconds. It’s unwieldy and weird.

Some of the secret (bonus) missions are quite uninspired, and some are downright annoying. Maybe some will enjoy them, but they could have been much more inventive.

The game has a few missteps, much like how I got sliced real good in this picture.

You can quickly load your last checkpoint, but the menu doesn’t tell you the time marker since your last checkpoint. 2013’s DmC had this excellent feature (very handy for higher difficulties), but DMC 5 omits it sadly.

On PC the game loads so fast that it’s nearly impossible to read the story synopsis text on the loading screens. A button prompt to load into the game would have been handy because these write-ups are often quite helpful in understanding the jumbled story.

This car was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Bonus points if you spot more roots!

Another annoyance is how pressing Start/Escape skips cutscenes immediately, without warning. A menu option to enable “1-button Cutscene Skipping” would be ideal, since speedrunners want quick skipping while those of us who get interrupted a lot would benefit from pausing.

In regard to cutscenes, at least there’s a convenient ‘Gallery’ menu option to easily replay all cutscenes, in case you skipped one or just want to revel again in the ultra-detailed and lavish presentation. Did I mention the cutscenes are gorgeous? Remind me to mention that…because the cutscenes are really gorgeous!

Conclusion: It’s A Mixed Bag

DMC 5 saddens me. It could have and should have been so much more. The technology is amazing. The game engine runs superbly. There’s a wonderful cast of hyper-real and brilliantly choreographed characters. The combat is diverse, enthralling, and a pleasure to play.

Things are so fun when you’re slicing and dicing with power and style!

But then there’s the big mess of a story with muddled framing and incoherent plot points set in often-recycled levels with bland design and limited visual creativity. Why can’t the narrative and world be as passionately enthusiastic and charming as the rest of the game?

If combat and cutscenes are all that matters to you, DMC 5 is one of the best games out there, but I for one can’t shake the feeling that the narrative and world-design squanders the incredible technology and charismatic characters. This is why DMC 5 saddens me…at least the cutscenes are gorgeous.

Character technology

Charming, unique cast

Gorgeous cutscenes

Flashy, robust combat

Three excellent playstyles

Nicely-paced missions

Stellar sound and music

High replayability

The classic DMC humor

Runs great on PC

Weak, incoherent story

Muddled narrative framing

Story/setting disconnect

Far too few unique levels

Recycled level elements

Boring, dull level design

Various design annoyances

              Playtime: 22 hours total. Nick spent 12 hours leisurely completing the standard difficulty level, Devil Hunter. Then he pushed through the next higher difficulty, Son of Sparda, in 8 hours. A few more hours was spent goofing off and unlocking Achievements.

Computer Specs: Windows 10 64-bit computer using an Intel i7-3930k CPU, 32GB of memory, and a nVidia GTX 980 Ti graphics card.

Also read the Devil May Cry 5 PC Performance Analysis.

Devil May Cry 5 Review: So Stylish, Very Thrilling, & Too Dull published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/

[tianfcn]

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--- approved. let’s plot w/ i forgot to add that while i say it’s me unto you, the opposite is also true so come shower me in love and i shall reciprocate :D