#it's a hud thing that comes up whenever I alter any voice settings

[chloemew]

Now that the bots are gone, we can also beat the shit out of this light uninterrupted

[connorinabeanie]

While digging through my incomplete fics I found an utterly ridiculous snippet of a story all about Connor and North being menaces, so I thought I’d post it here. No promises on there every being any more of this, but who knows.

Markus had told them not to do it.

But, to be fair, Markus always told them not to do it. No matter how well thought out the plan was, no matter what they could gain from it, no matter if they were both already dressed and geared up, Markus always said the same thing.

“You two can’t kill your way through our problems.”

And, as always, they’d told him that wasn’t true. Still, most of the time, they ended up listening to their leader and retreating to sulk and practice shooting or sparring or maybe sometimes go pet a dog. A particular very large, very fluffy dog, whose owner had stopped even bothering to sigh dramatically whenever the two of them arrived unannounced.

But, this time, they’d decided to go through with the plan anyway.

That was why North and Connor found themselves lying flat on a rooftop, pressed against the snow and cold metal sheeting, waiting for the gunfire to die down. It was taking awhile. Connor was pretty sure someone had an automatic rifle, the skilless dick.

“Step two could’ve gone better.” North’s voice rang in his head, and since she was approximately eight inches from him she probably could’ve gotten away with whispering, but he was pretty sure she just liked seeing him twitch and blink rapidly when receiving a message. He really needed to see if he could do something about altering that reaction.

“It could’ve gone worse.” He countered, and it was true, even though Connor wasn’t really an optimist; when you could construct potential plans and calculate their probabilities of success, anything but realism seemed unwarranted. However, step two had been one of his parts of the plan, and he was not about to call it a failure.

North didn’t bother to respond, just rolling her eyes, because they were both distracted with something more noteworthy: the gunfire had died down, which meant their pursuers were either out of bullets, convinced Connor and North weren’t actually hiding on the roof, or they had dropped dead. Connor was pretty sure it was one of the former two and not the latter, but an android could dream.

He could also dream that his partner would take even a few seconds to wait and see if the coast was clear before moving, but alas, it was not the case. North was both more decisive and more impulsive than Connor was, things he hadn’t been entirely sure were possible, and so even he had trouble keeping up with her when she decided to do something.

And, currently, that something was to scramble up, launch herself forward, and drop over the edge of the roof. The sound of a wet thunk indicated she’d broken her landing with a human, and if they were lucky maybe she’d broken the human too. That’d be a bonus.

Connor wasted no time in vaulting from the roof’s edge himself, dropping the two stories to land and roll, pretending the motion was a lot more graceful than it actually was. It was really only enough to get the job done, putting him right in the face of one of the guards, too close for the rifle to be any use and Connor subdued him easily. Two down, something like seventeen to go.

He understood why Markus hadn’t wanted them to raid the warehouse; it was dangerous, and Connor knew for a fact that the police were getting ready for their own raid the next day. But even though there was no confirmation that the red ice producers were holding any androids for use in making their drug, Connor couldn’t get the idea out of his head that there might be androids suffering while they did nothing. North had noticed how agitated he was, and after he’d explained the situation they’d both decided to do something. Markus, however, was unwilling to risk their lives on a maybe, when they didn’t know for sure--or even have good reason to suspect--that there was anyone who needed help.

And so they’d just ignored him.

He was going to be mad when they got back, but that was just how life went sometimes. Connor was mad at people a lot, and he got over it. Sort of.

Anyway, they’d deal with the issue of Markus being angry and/or disappointed in them later. With the guards out front dispatched, they could continue on into the warehouse; the only--or well, the most current problem--being that there were definitely more guards before. Where did they go?

“Maybe they went to get more ammo.” North suggested, having the same thought he did, stepping on the arm of the guard she’d tackled as she walked over to Connor. She pretended it was completely cavalier, but he saw the faint grin that crossed her face when she did it.

“Maybe. If so, we should go now.” Before they finished reloading and came at them again. Connor and North could handle a few heavily armed humans, especially if those humans were drug dealers and not military or FBI, but they didn’t need to take any more risk than they already were. It was already a lot, and eventually it would catch up to them.

Eventually, as it turned out, was actually about four and a half minutes later. After several non-fatal gunshot wounds, two explosions, and a lot of broken human bones, they were successful but absolutely not looking forward to explaining this to Markus.

An upside was that they did indeed end up saving an android; an AX400 had been still alive in a storage closet, and had been incredibly shocked to see a pair of androids open the door. She had in fact latched onto North, crying on her shoulder in appreciation, and this time the smile North tried to hide was for a very different reason.

They made it back to New Jericho with only minor further incidents and blood loss, and were really quite proud of themselves as they escorted the AX400--her name was Lila, as she’d told them on the taxi ride back--to the repairs center in the lobby of the repurposed apartment building. That pride lasted until Josh gave them both a horrified look and informed Connor that he could see through the hole in his shoulder.

And that was how Connor ended up sitting on an exam table and attempting to behave himself while Josh fussed over him, North getting a similar treatment from Simon--who had been called in by Josh--on the next table. Markus hadn’t shown up yet, but it was only a matter of time. Connor set up a timer in his HUD to see how long it would be.

It took, coincidentally, about four and a half minutes. Connor was starting to think 270 seconds was a cursed number.

“I thought I asked you both not to do anything.” Markus said, voice soft, as he looked from Connor to North and back again. 

“You did.” Connor informed him helpfully, holding still so Josh could pry a bullet out of his side. “But we assessed that the situation required immediate action.”

Markus gave him a look, then glanced at North again. She just shrugged. He sighed.

“Well, I’m glad you’re both alive. What happened?”

And so they relayed their epic tale of heroism and murder, Connor slightly more factually than North, but her version definitely had a lot more flair. The steadily increasing furrow of Markus’ brow softened a little upon hearing about Lila, and so Connor thought they might be in the clear.

He was, unfortunately, incorrect.

“I’m really glad you’re both okay, and that you were able to save someone. But I’m still very disappointed that you snuck off; if you’re not going to listen to me, at least let me know so I can do something if you don’t come back.” Markus said, still in the soft and gentle tone he was so good at, looking so sad that Connor wondered if it would be too obvious if he got off the table and crawled under it to hide. 

North seemed similarly chagrined, but in typical North fashion that shame manifested as a will to fight. “We couldn’t take the chance that someone would stop us. You didn’t leave us any other choice.”

Oh no. Under the table was looking more and more appealing.

“North, I wouldn’t have-”

“Yes you would’ve!” She insisted, even though Connor was pretty sure Markus wouldn’t have actually stopped them, and more than that he was pretty sure North knew it. Connor shared a look with Josh, and got the impression that Josh was also considering disappearing, but fortunately he was far too tall for Connor to be concerned that he would take the hiding spot Connor had already mentally called dibs on.

Markus, being Markus, didn’t bother to argue further; instead he just gave North an incredibly sad look before turning his attention toward Connor. “Are you angry with me too?”

“Not currently.” Connor said, and it was truthful, because currently he wasn’t angry at anyone. He was just a really weird combination of mortified, accomplished, and guilty. He definitely preferred feeling angry.

Markus seemed to accept that answer, sighing quietly, and he gave North another look--her arms were crossed and she was scowling past Simon at a wall--before apparently deciding not to say anything more. Instead he just swept out of the room, coat billowing dramatically behind him, and Connor would’ve found that annoying if he didn’t know for a fact that it wasn’t on purpose. That was just how things went for Markus.