#it's a ganglion cyst probably

[seraphtrevs]

My mom pointed out I have a cyst on my wrist that I hadn't noticed. It wasn't bothering me before but now it's all I can think about 😭

[merry-death]

guess who's going to

✨urgent care✨

[sniffanimal]

It's stupid how hard it is to get medical care for benign small things. Speaking as an American but I imagine it's still tedious and annoying in other places with better healthcare. I've been thinking about how writing things by hand is pretty painful for me for anything more than a sentence or two. I rarely need to do much writing these days but it's still something I could probably get occupational therapy for to help with correcting. But the process of going to my doctor, explaining this minor issue, getting an OT referral, going to OT appointments etc. And then there's the money for the appointments. And this whole process can take months. It's just frustrating like the whole problem is that writing is a little uncomfortable for me.

[oflgtfol]

like back in oh i dont know 2017 maybe when i first went to the doctor for my wrists they said that the ligament in both of my wrists both had an identical, small tear at identical locations, and so like im not a doctor, and i havent gone back to the doctor for my wrists since then, and i kinda dont want to because at this point it is what it is its just a waste of money to just go to the doctor for the sake of it and nothing else whatever, but im assuming that the actual sprains have technically healed, but because they persisted for so long this is just the. long term effects of it.

[cripplecharacters]

Mods

[large text: Mods]

Sasza

[Large Text: Sasza]

Hi! My name is Sasza and I use he/him pronouns. I am a disabled artist who loves to write and draw characters like me! I am autistic, (mildly) intellectually disabled and have several physical conditions including-but-not-limited-to dyspraxia, severe hyperkyphosis, cranial nerve diseases (causing double vision, chronic pain and a facial difference among other things), and hypermobile joints. Sometimes I use a cane. I'm very passionate about accessibility and disability representation in all kinds of media - books, comics, video games, and any other kind of art that's out there!

Bert

[Large Text: Bert]

Hello! I'm Bert (previously Mason), and I use he/they pronouns. I am a writer who loves to write plays and fiction with characters like me and my friends. I am autistic and have ADHD, I have psychotic PTSD and a DID system. Physical health-wise I have migraines, fibromyalgia, and a lateral lisp. I love talking about representation and ways we can make a kinder and more inclusive space everywhere we go.

Sparrow

[large text: Sparrow]

Hi, I’m sparrow, they/he for me. I’m a disabled artist who makes a lot of disabled characters like myself and probably like a quarter of the world. I have autism and ADHD, among other brain things, as well as chronic pain in both my jaw and my knee and ankle. I also have POTS and some sort of sleep disorder. I am a sometimes cane user as well. I really enjoy research and thoughtful art that makes people feel seen. Aside from that, I am a huge fan of historical fiction and really enjoy fantasy as well.

Rot

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My name is Rot, I use all pronouns including neo pronouns as well as any rot and insect themed nounself pronouns. I’m an artist who loves putting disability in my stories. I’m mostly undiagnosed due to medical neglect and have chronic fatigue, hypersomnia & chronic pain that ranges from mild to debilitating. My known disabilities are pots, ganglion cysts, nerve damage, tics, autism (level unknown), asthma, GERD, anxiety and psychosis. I have a metal implant, use a cane and am mostly verbal and use aac infrequently. I have experience with temporary palsy, needing carers (family members who stepped up, not hired carers) and being in a wheelchair, though I currently don't have any of those.

Virus

[Large Text: Virus]

Hello! I go by Virus and I use She/Her but anyone can use any pronouns for me, have fun with it. I'm a writer—mostly fanfiction—who has been in fandom very long and used to be a classical musician. I have Hypermobile Ehler Danlos Syndrome along with it's fun co-morbidities (MCAS, POTS, Gastroparesis, Fibromyalgia, and Von Willebrandes). I also have Pan-Hypopituitarism which is the following: Adrenal Insufficiency, Hypothyroidism, Diabetes Insipidus, Precocious Puberty, Growth Hormone Deficiency, Hyperprolactinemia/galactorrhea, as well as High Estrogen and Testosterone issues. I have Pituitary Dwarfism/Proportional Dwarfism, Myoclonic Epilepsy, and a Speech Disorder. I used to have a Port-a-cath, Picc-Lines, and a feeding tube, amongst many other things. Phew, now that that's over. I love every art form with a favour towards music, writing and the fiber arts. I love seeing representation no matter how big or small especially in medias that rep is often glossed over!

Rock

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Hi! I am Rock; any pronouns are okay. I am a writer, mainly of sci-fi and fantasy, and I love adding all sorts of disabled characters. I am hard of hearing (mild-moderate bilateral hearing loss) and have profound auditory processing disorder. I have scoliosis, POTS, and lower-body muscle weakness so I am a full-time mobility aid user. I am also intersex; I have several hormone deficiencies among other conditions as a result of my intersex variation. I am excited to join the mod team!

Aaron

[Large Text: Aaron]

Hey, I'm Aaron, he/him. I'm a writer of fantasy, science fiction, dystopia, utopia, and historical, and I like writing incorporating casts of disabled characters into all of them and reworking magic, technology, and science to accommodate them. I have a TBI, a lot wrong with my speech, cognitive issues, slight developmental disability, myofascial pain syndrome, medium support needs autistic but fully verbal, OCD, multiple types of anxiety, PTSD, depression, severe ADHD, dyslexia, dysgraphia, articulatory initiation anomia, medically significant migraines, a chronic headache, chronic pain, and chronic fatigue. I'm also visibly disabled (one of those people who looks autistic) and transmasc. And I can't wait to see what amazing things you guys come u with.

Zohar

[Large Text: Zohar]

Hello everyone! I'm a new mod, and you can call me Zohar. I'm a writer of fantasy and sci-fi for the most part, and definitely prioritize disability, LGBT, and Indigenous representation in my work. I am Blind with a form of Albinism/strabismus/ptosis, along with some hearing loss. I am intersex/transgender with mixed gonadal dysgenesis (XO/XY Turner Syndrome) that goes hand in hand with GHD/pituitary dwarfism and affects my skeletal and hormonal health. I also have POTS and complex DID caused by RAMCOA and am comfortable answering asks about that. He or She pronouns is fine with me. I can't wait to help out here!

Icarus

[Large Text: Icarus]

Hello all! My name is Icarus (He/Him). I'm a new mod here and a writer of original work (Primarily contemporary short fiction and cosmic horror) with some fanfiction on the side. I have been diagnosed with ADHD, autism, PTSD, Tourette's Syndrome along with several other mental and physical health conditions. I also had epilepsy, asthma, and a heart condition as a child but have since grown out of them. I am currently seeking a diagnosis for something causing a few different symptoms including chronic pain, mobility issues, sensitivity in my joints/bones, progressive vision loss (Currently to the point where I have very little to no peripheral vision), and dizziness/fainting episodes. I am a full time cane user at the advice of my physio. I am also a gay trans man and in full-time university studies.

Jess

[Large text: Jess]

Hey y'all! I'm Jess, and I use she/her. I'm 35, and I work full time behind the scenes in the grocery industry (in an office, designing shelf layouts!). I enjoy writing and reading slice-of-life stories mostly. I especially like exploring how certain magical elements can be parallels for disability. I also do art, including some 3D illusion chalk art. As for my disabilities: I have multiple sclerosis, and a few issues that have come from that, including severe permanent damage from optic neuritis. I was briefly 100% blind in my left eye, but a small amount of vision returned. The residual vision causes some hard-to-describe double vision, so I wear a completely opaque occlusive contact lens on my bad eye to help me see more clearly. I also had a period of time when I suffered from paroxysmal kinesigenic dyskinesia, a rare movement disorder. I also have a body-focused repetitive behavior disorder (dermatillomania) and visible scars from that. I'm looking forward to being helpful!

[eponastory]

Why Waterbending is underrated... and how Earthbending can be used on the human body...

It really is underrated, and I hate that the potential was never really explored other than bloodbending bad and taboo.

The human body is this amazing machine of water, organs, cells, bones, muscles, bacteria, acids, elements, and minerals. Just to be clear, everything with two or more elements is either a chemical, compound, alloy, or mixture. Most compounds are solids, most mixtures are gas or liquid, and chemicals can be solid or liquid. Alloys are almost always metals. Anyway, getting off track here with chemistry.

In LoK, we get a bloodbending villain. It's been a while since I've seen the show, and when it was airing on Nick, I kinda stopped watching it after season two because it kinda got boring to me and I really didn't like the writing for the show. It was... well it wasn't that great because there could be more to it that just wasn't explored. It sucks that they didn't. But I really don't care for the show. Back to the bending side of it, the first two seasons kinda explored bloodbending enough to where we got the basis of Bloodbending is bad.

But how can waterbending be used on the body besides the blood? Well, I'm about to tell you.

Starting off with bone marrow, it is the stuff that blood is made in within the bone structure itself. Yeah, I was shocked to learn that too, but if you are in the medical field, you know what I'm talking about. The spleen has the other major blood duty, but it's the marrow where it's made. Knowing that opens up some dialog.

Blood cells, in particular, have a certain amount of water in them. So does the plasma they inhabit. But your muscles, organs, skin, and soft tissues also contain water. A waterbender like Katara could literally tie your small intestines in a knot if she wanted. Talk about a bad day. She could dislocate a joint with the flick of her wrist by manipulating the fluid in those joints. I wonder if she could do something about those ganglion cysts in my wrist? But the point is that waterbenders can do some crazy amazing shit and the surface was only scratched in the show. We get a taste of what can happen with Hama. Imagine pulling blood through skin? Yeah, that can happen, too. Draining the body of blood through the skin, then using that blood to fight... creepy, but really cool.

Actually, it's probably a good thing we only got a taste. No one wants to see Avatar: Bloodwar... although that's a really cool title for a semi horror story in the universe. But I'm pretty sure stopping the heart is only one thing. Exploding heads? Oh yeah, I'm sure that is possible. Not literally exploding the head, but the brain is surrounded by spinal fluid, which is also made out of water... you get where I'm coming from.

Bending also comes from the intent of a bender as well. All bending can be dangerous and used for nefarious reasons. Just like a fork can be used to eat with or to stab someone in the eye... it's the intent behind the person wielding it that makes it a weapon or a tool.

Just like how Toph could use the very small amount of metals in your body to do harm. She's not going to because she is a good person. She doesn't bend to harm. It's the same with Katara.

Now, Ozai and Azula on the other hand... their intent is what makes them powerful. Azula intends to make people fear her. Ozai intends to eliminate entire cultures... that is what makes their fire deadly.

Where as Zuko never intends to harm anyone. He does by accident, but that's really all we see.

I really wish they explored bending in more depth, especially with a hard magic system in place. Waterbending is only limited by morals and intent. Most bending is, but I truly think waterbending is the most powerful form. Earthbending is limited by the land at the benders feet. Firebending's limitations haven't really been explored except by the Sun and Sozin's Comet being the draw for energy. I go more into depth on the lighting post. Air is not really explained much either... but it's similar to water in that respect.

But yeah, more concepts with bending would be lovely.

What do you guys think?

[delphi-dreamin]

Not so great news, y'all! I have a ganglion cyst in my left hand. It's on the palm side of my ring finger at the base and y'all. It fuckin hurts. So I get to go see ortho. Again.

The good news is, I'm right-handed. So I can still work on stuff. It's just gonna be a slower process than I'd like.

But that's more appointments, and probably more physical therapy after...whatever they do. Hopefully they'll remove it and I can be done with it. But we'll see.

Anyway, I work tonight and it's gonna be miserable! Because I have gotten about one hour of sleep today.

But uh. Yeah. Life.

[regina-bithyniae]

I have these lumps on my fingers like my left pinky:

Between hand joint and knuckle. Another on my right index ringer. It get a bit painful in cold weather, and is firm but not bone hard.

Girlfriend said I need to see a doctor but I don't get any paid sick leave or vacation in my job and I'm too busy with second job outside of work hours so that's not happening when clinic wait times are three hours.

But ChatGPT says it's just a ganglion cyst, which is worth monitoring but is noncancerous, probably won't spread, and doctors probably won't care about anyways. So that's a few hours saved!

I think this is a microcosm for the future: increasingly dysfunctional and useless public services and institutions but technological workarounds possible if you think about it a little.

[geraldmariaivo]

that’s one fucked up butterfly

So i have no clue whether or not this counts as a vague one-shot or an overly-detailed story idea. Either way, here’s the spaghetti my brain fed me today.  ————

Jason has been hungry. Like, really hungry. Granted that’s not weird because this lifestyle does that to a person, but it’s more than usual. It’s also kinda weird because he’s been picking up food more often…as Red Hood. Outside of Crime Alley. Something about the confusion and fear of the cashier as a known crime lord who usually stays inside his turf casually plops down and pays for a brick or five of guava paste, containers of butter, and various other sweets, fruits, and other normal foods is just so satisfying in a way he can’t put his finger on.

But he doesn’t really think about that, because by the time it’s a notable trend, there’s something more pressing to think about. Namely, the fact that it’s been getting harder to move in a my-muscles-and-joints-are-stiff-and-achey-because-I’m-not-letting-myself-heal kind of way. This also isn’t super surprising considering the, well, everything about his lifestyle. It was bound to catch up with him sooner or later. It got more pressing when the ganglion cysts started popping up. He got as many important things out of the way as he could, and took a break. It only took the immediate repercussions of pushing himself so much finally rearing their ugly head, but he did it.

Except two weeks in, and it’s gotten worse. He does stretches, drinks plenty of water, makes sure he eats enough fiber and nutrients, but nothing works. He just keeps getting increasingly stiff. And it doesn’t help that the cysts keep popping up (yes, he checked them out with Dr. Thompson, and they don’t seem to be anything other than his body pitching a fit about being beat up on). It isn’t until Steph and Cass visit the safehouse during lunch and tell him point-blank that he’s eating like a speedster that he takes a good hard look at the kitchen and his trashcan that he realizes he did, in fact, just pack away a whole pizza, a very large fruit&veggie smoothie, and was on his way to scarf down a bowl (pot) of pasta that would feed half the bats, plus the cheese, sauce, and meatballs he was in the process of cooking.

It takes too much arguing, and bribing him with Alfred’s cookies, to get him to come to the cave for more thorough examinations.

This, unfortunately, does fuck-all. His blood pressure indicates that he’s stressed but fine, his nerves and reflexes are working fine, and when they did finally get him to get actual scans and take samples, they all turned up negative except for slightly elevated brain activity and a higher body temperature than usual, not even enough to be a serious fever. The cookies were the only good part of going, in Jason’s opinion, because nothing changed from how it was going before. In fact, the period where he didn’t eat anything so he could go in for scans seemed to only make the aches, pains, stiffness, and cysts worse.

The fatigue was to be expected, considering how hard it was for him to move around, and the fact that whatever was going on was clearly taking a lot of energy. It also aligned pretty well with the expected fatigue from people with similar ailments….right up until Jason was suddenly conking out for hours at a time. This was, understandably, very alarming for everyone, especially Jason.

One night when [insert reason for everyone to be out of the cave here, probably the aftermath of a breakout from Arkham or something], things went from bad to “what the FUCK is going on?!?” Namely, because between the time they left to when they got back, Jason was effectively entombed in a weird cocoon of stone-like green shit, and whatever it is, it’s interfering with any and all of the equipment they were using to monitor his vitals.

Of course this sends everyone into a panic, and Bruce is extra freaking the fuck out. He tries to get this off of Jason any way he can short of dropping the cocooned Jason from a skyscraper. Chipping away at it? Didn’t work. Laser cutter? No. Acid? Nope. Sealing some of it in a container with water to see if it would even begin to dissolve? Nothing. Clark is off-world with J’onn, none of the lanterns are available, and as much as Bruce hates turning to magic for anything, none of the JLD will be able to stop by in less than a week.

So the bats wait. They can’t do anything else other than try to find out what’s happening and how to fix it.

And then, one day, there’s a crack. And another. And another. Given that Jason’s under 24/7 surveillance at this point and they’re actively looking for any signs of activity, it’s not long until everyone who can drop whatever they’re doing arrives at the cave. It takes a while for any of the cracks to be big enough for them to get a grip or pry this stuff off of him, but they manage. They manage, piece by piece, and what spills out -anyone who’s been near a Lazarus pit could tell you- is Lazarus water. Lazarus water, and Jason.

Jason, probably coughing and spitting up glowing green goop, does eventually crawl out. After the initial fretting and checking for damage, he gets cleaned up, and he seems fine. Further observation indicates that other than some minor stiffness from being in the same position for days, he’s healthy.

For a bit, everything seems fine. Everyone is still on edge from whatever the hell all that was, but there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with him, other than having a somewhat more even temper, and being more likely play nice on the comms during patrols.

Of course, this is until he falls through a couch while reading, and is found struggling to get up as his arms phase in and out of the floor.

————

For anyone who’s confused, this is a Halfa!Jason story(?) plot(?), and the basic premise is that Jason’s core had been forming for a long while now, but hadn’t been fully formed yet due to a lack of lots of good ectoplasm. The emotions he’s been absorbing from living in a city, and especially the fear he’s been getting as Red Hood and during rogue attacks, has been really helping out though, and has allowed his forming core enough strength to mostly filter out a bunch of the nastiest gunk left over.

Unfortunately Jason was constantly in danger, and his core wanted time to focus on finishing itself, as lots of newly formed cores do. So it geared up to spend a lot of energy on this (hence eating so much -sustaining the squishy human body while his core is using so much energy is important), but quickly “realized” that Jason wouldn’t stop going out and getting injured on his patrols for anything short of a medical situation of “this is going to affect my immediate future if I don’t treat this now” scale. So it did, and then when it was ready to actually buckle down and go for it, it gathered up the nastiest ecto it could find, and used it to make a protective barrier around him so that A) he couldn’t go anywhere and get himself injured, and B) anything that might want to snack on or harm a vulnerable core with a currently very vulnerable body would be repelled by the sheer nastiness of it.

And when it was over, out came a fully-formed halfa!Jason!

Good luck with those new powers, buddy.

[roseytheteacup]

How about some platonic yandere diabolik lovers boys with a human kid head canons if that’s something your comfortable doing

Yes I'm okay with that mind I'm pretty tired right now but I will do my best

-Sakamakis

When you get dropped off on their doorstep the first thinking you were either lost or you were a kid trying to pull a prank

And when you explain to them your parents just left you there,they kinda aren't a bit surprised I mean their parents were awful so they weren't surprised human parents were cruddy too

After they let you in the house depending on what type of kid you are so say you were what my siblings are "hellspawn" children then Reiji might put you in the corner or make you write something a 100 times.

But if you are what some might call mature for your age Ayato will most likely say something witty "Awww look its a mini pain in my -"*sees Reiji* "I mean you wanna show me what your reading hehe"

I see them liking more to chaotic neutral children someone who is mildly chaotic but also a calm sense

The reason I see this is because Ayato,Laito,Kanato seem a bit more roubounksious(I hope i spell it right) then the rest of their brothers, so they need someone who can keep up with their level of energy when per say when Ayato wants to teach you basketball or when Kanato wants you to play dress up with him or when Laito needs someone to play piano with him

While on the other hand Reiji,Shu,Subaru are more calm so a calmer child they will get along with

Reiji will either read you some of the books he gotten,or teach you some *CHILD SAFE* experiments

Ps he's great with getting help with homework

Shu would let you take naps with him or let you listen to music with him but you will especially take naps if you don't have a steady sleep schedule

Subaru will probably take you to the garden and teach you how to take care of the roses and teach you self defense

All in all they seem great if your chaotic neutral but if your a "hellspawn" yeesh just run ok run

-Mukami's

same situation with them though but they can take kids who are bit more hyperactive

Ruki will teach you about different cultures and how to cook simple meals until your old enough to learn how to use the stove

Yuma will teach you to garden and will take you to the park

Kou will teach you sing or play a instrument or if you are interested in fashion will teach you some sewing tricks

Azusa will show you his knife collection,and other trinkets he collected I can not tell you how much he cried when you brought him a bag of random little shiny things and the sword you stole from the sakamakis

AKA they knew it was you but they don't mind since they don't really use them though they were mad you gave it to one of them "dead" pest

I'm sorry if this was bad I"m tired and due to a ganglion cyst on my hand my hand will randomly fall asleep due to it,but I hope you enjoyed this

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Well I am solidifying my guess right back to aneurysm in my wrist.

I thought it was either that or a burst ganglion cyst, but the thing you can see about it, through my skin, is that it is right over the vein where you would take someone's pulse, and it's the same colour as the vein. It clearly looks full of blood from the outside, and you can feel my pulse in it.

Cut to the scan today and she's all upset and haughty that I am even venturing guesses, but you can clearly see its full of fluid... But you can also clearly see that the dark area is attached to the dark line of a vein, and in the digitally coloured version you can see the red of blood flow going into it and spreading into the whole shape.

So I am going with wrist aneurysm or a very very very vascular tumour, right next to what might be a normal ganglion cyst.

Of fucking course I am going to hear back from the specialist and see what the doctor has to say though, instead of just assuming my guess is correct, lady, please relax. Not only licensed doctors have some idea what they are looking at on an ultrasound, relax I am making conversation. Chill.

The bladder ultrasound was miserable as usual. I get my bladder painfully full to bursting WALK THERE and lay down, and then they try to tell me it isn't quite full, when it absolutely is and any more full has resulted in the person doing a bladder exam observing there is a lot of "micro tearing" in my bladder. Like lady, my bladder doesn't get any more full than it is, and if you wanted me to have a bowel movement this morning to purge everything from yesterday, you have to let me have cream in my tea. I do not have bowel movements at all unless my body thinks there is more food on the way, and that doesn't happen from clear fluids, sorry. That's just how my body is. I have to imagine I am not the only one.

And yes, I WAS unable to fully empty my bladder, because that's what happens when I stretch it out that much. It takes me going pee 2 or 3 times with time in between for me to be able to empty it and it hurts horribly the whole time. Guess what? When I am not being forced to have a full bladder for over an hour, it isn't an issue.

So of course they had to do the internal ultrasound. Which I wish they'd just let me opt for from the start, so I could skip all the horrible pain in my bladder first.

And when I told her I was bleeding a little bit every time I have an orgasm and the strings on the iud went missing and that's why I am having the scan her first words were "Was HE checked for blood in his semen?" Like the assumption was I was having sex, unprotected, just after I told her I hadn't in years, that it was with a man, and that I wouldn't be able to tell the difference between bleeding caused by orgasms vs my partner cumming blood.

Lady, idk how to tell you that a partner is not required for an orgasm, least of all a man.

I know the people you are used to dealing with are probably both idiots and straight, but please please please cut me some slack while you are pushing on my full bladder -which will bother me all week now- and telling me I somehow didn't follow your instructions well enough.

Anyway it isn't a solid tissue mass or anything obviously cancerous at least, it looked a little too consistently dark even to be very vascular tissue -no grey to it at all, there was a singular white spot though- and has defined edges, so I think the wrist aneurysm thing is most likely. Which of course the nurse practitioner ordering the scan told me it couldn't possibly be... Then why is it on my vein, full of blood and pulsing with my heart?

Anyway, I need to pee, again, again, again, again...

[lucysweatslove]

Health recap, I guess? 2019 to present, because I'm so frustrated with my health atm.

Early 2019, I started with wrist pain whenever I used my hand to push on something. Nobody could figure it out. Did OT without much help. Was told it is "probably functional" but lost ability to do things I love, including lift weights and do yoga.

End of 2019, I got sick with an upper respiratory infection. I get colds periodically like everybody else. Nothing new.

URI did the whole "got better, then it got worse" thing and turned into a sinus infection and then my First Ever Ear Infection.

Went into urgent care; was given... some... antibiotic. I don't even remember the class. When this helped but didn't resolve, and the URI progressed to a cough and lower respiratory stuff, I was put on another antibiotic of a different class.

Eventually that antibiotic cleared it up, but I had a terrible cough for a few months. Also. Finally see a new psychiatrist who puts me on Wellbutrin and I feel so much better emotionally. Not physically.

Enter in COVID! I was working in a derm clinic and had to take my temp multiple times a day. We found I was persistently having fevers! Yay! I also was tremulous, nauseous, and lost weight unintentionally. This was on top of a couple year history of significant whole-body pruritis. Concern is something cancer.

Provider I worked for ordered labs while I waited to get into my PCP. My TSH was marginally high, which was unexpected. My PCP called and was like "let's put you on levo!" to which I said no, let's not, because I'm not presenting with any hypothyroid symptoms. I requested repeat TSH plus additional thyroid tests eg T3/T4.

Those came back normal, PCP was all "its a good thing I didn't start you on meds" like ma'am no, it's a good thing I had some medical knowledge and thusly refused and pushed for repeat studies. My PCP did not additional workup and took my temp via forehead scanner and was all "you're perfectly healthy."

Moved, and thus I needed a new PCP. New PCP did more extensive workup.

Start grad school fall of 2020. Can't focus well, suspect ADHD because my sister has ADHD and my historical depression, which I've blamed all my previous focus issues, is well-treated with Wellbutrin. PCP agrees but because of fevers doesn't think it's a good idea to start a new med yet.

Everything negative/clear/normal, including peripheral blood smear, blood culture, and chest and abdominal CT.

"Well, the next step would be a bone marrow biopsy..."

That sounds painful, no thanks. If it's something insidious, it'll eventually show up on routine labs and then we can do the biopsy. I continue to have fever and ear pain (even when my ears look "clear") and recurrent ear infections. I notice my hair is thinning too, and I keep getting recurrent scalp infections, but oh well. School goes fine even if I can't focus well, so I ignore that, too.

I figure out that my wrist pain is a ganglion cyst that nobody noticed because it didn't grow "up" but snaked its way through bones so it took 2 years for a "bump" to present. Had surgery to remove it in early-Mid 2021.

Constant stuffy nose starts in 2021, but my husband's hips died in mid 2021 and I focused more on him initially. I still can't focus and my nose is so stuffy it interferes with sleep.

Enter into a long discussion with my PCP where she refuses to acknowledge that I might have ADHD and thinks it's from my nose + inability to sleep. We try to treat it. Nothing works. Still. Stuffy.

Apply to medical school. Worried about ADHD and being able to focus and learn. Therapist who I've been working with since Husband's hips agrees it is ADHD but can't medically treat. Referred to testing because maybe if I have an actual diagnosis, my PCP would treat.

Diagnosed with ADHD + autism. Clinician assessor told me that my PCP's office doesn't usually "accept" his diagnoses.

Go to a PMHNP instead who won't prescribe stimulants without assessment from a specific neuropsych.

Placed on Strattera while I wait for neuropsych results. It's terrible. Fevers spike, I'm shaking all the time, can't sleep, like no change in focus. 0/10.

Do assessment with neuropsych. Only did some self-rating scales + the WAIS. WAIS test is voided because I've done it too recently. I still have to pay.

PMHNP finally says she won't make me go through any more hoops and we try Vyvanse. Vyvanse is amazing. I barely have any exacerbation of anything physical even.

Start medical school, things are OK and stable.

A few weeks into school (probably like, 6 weeks after starting the vyvanse, if it matters). I start feeling unwell and dizzy and like my eyes can't focus well, and I can't bring myself to eat. I figure I just need more hydration + electrolytes. Eat more salt, do better.

Two months into med school, everything flares. My scalp flares, I end up with a staph aureus infection not just on my scalp but by both of my ears, neck, and even a small abscess on my arm.

Treated for the staph but two weeks later develop widespread myalgias. Start taking daily Aleve to manage.

Fever is flaring without any particular pattern during this process.

Losing so much hair in the shower and in clumps. Husband can't find discrete lesions of baldness. I look at the hair and they are all telogen stage. Decide it's probably telogen effluvium from the stress of school.

Myalgias get progressively worse until I am in so much pain just sitting in class that if I forget Aleve for just one day, I'm almost crying and can only focus on the pain.

Finally decide to get another appoint with my PCP. It's in 2 weeks.

Why did I wait so long to see my PCP again? Because I am fat with a history of a restrictive eating disorder and I am absolutely petrified I will be labeled once again as the Overly Anxious Fat Woman that "just needs to meditate and lose some weight," and that when I bring up my new diagnoses and meds, I'll be told I "can't possibly be autistic" because I'm in med school and "present myself well" nor can I have ADHD because clearly I'm just an overly anxious fat woman.

[halofcrged]

RULES.

            going to try and keep this pretty simple & straightforward.

I.  You must be 18+ to interact with me. I am 42 years old.

            There will be not safe for work content on this blog of the sexual and potentially of the graphic violence nature.  I do tag everything that might be triggering and am happy to tag whatever you ask me to so long as I remember!

                            I ask that you tag any visuals containing spiders with spider tw* spiders tw* arachnophobia tw* etc etc and yes, I know it’s a weird one but anything about the taste of soap or eating soap is a trigger so just tag it with soap tw* or penny don’t look* as I have that blacklisted too.  I don’t have any triggering fcs or what not.

II. This blog is multi-ship, multi-verse, crossover & au friendly.  

          Every ship is in its’ own verse unless previously discussed with all parties.  Every thread or set of threads takes place in its own universe unless previously discussed with all parties.

III.  I write anything from one-liners to novellas, it really just depends on life, my headspace, how much sleep I’ve been getting, how much else I have going on in real life, etc.

IV. My activity is NOT consistent.  I am infamous for blog hopping.  I have literally replied to some starters / replies two years+ after they were originally written.  I am not fast.  If I am fast, it’s by some small miracle and perfect storm of brain, muse and free time.  It will not last.

V.  I have kids, cats and dogs; I am in college, I have a household to take care of and I have many physical and mental handicaps that can affect my ability to function and write, including but not limited to rheumatoid arthritis, osteoarthritis, spinal stenosis, ganglion cysts, torn meniscus, migraines, hypothyroidism, PMDD, nerve damage, herniated disc, ADHD, depression, anxiety, C-PTSD and severe insomnia.  

                          Roleplay is something I do for fun.  

                                  If it isn’t fun, I don’t do it.  

                                         If it’s stressing me out, I’ll avoid it.  

VI. I do graphic commissions.  

          I run @tuppencetrinkets where I post the millions of screencaps and 200x100 icons that I make.  The resources are free but donations are always appreciated as I pay about $40 in hosting / program fees a month.   My commissions are always pay what you can.  I hate setting prices because I want everyone to have pretties if they want them and I don’t know what anyone can afford at any given time.  I do everything from base icons to edited icons, backgrounds, headers, dividers, promos, videos, you name it.  I try to be quick with turnaround but again – sometimes I just can’t be.

VII.  I am fine with plotting things out in advance or winging it.  I really don’t care, whatever you are more comfortable with is fine with me.

               I like all kinds of plots.  I like fluffy things, slice of life, broships, frenemies, enemies, familial, found family, long arcing, one shot throwaway, dark and twisted, you name it plots.  I will not write n*ncon or anything nsfw themed /even hinted at with minor characters and I won’t write any explicit child death etc. but most everything else is fair game.

VIII.  You can throw a million memes at me any time you want to.

IX.  You can throw any and all starters at me any time you want to.

                I’m not necessarily mutual exclusive but I don’t guarantee I’ll respond to memes or starters from non-mutual blogs.

X. I use icons, headers, promos etc. that I make myself 99% of the time.  Please do not use any of my edited graphics.  All base icons I use are free and available on my resource blog.  

XI. I use small text and my icons are 200x100 with empty space to make them 540x130 so that they don’t stretch out on mobile.  I prefer not heavily edited replies in terms of font variance and colors but really don’t care that much.

XII.  I’ve probably forgotten relevant things but, who knows.

XIII.  No drama.  Period.  I’m not interested.  

XIV.  I’m here for fun.  I’m really pretty easy going.  If you have any questions feel free to toss them into my inbox!

[shoezuki]

the fact that you have a weird painful growth on your wrist and they're like "yeah um we can't help you figure out wtf that is until several months from now" like ???????? wtf are doctors even for

Yeah dude idk my doctor has been so lax bout this shit he was like 'ya its jus a ganglion cyst it could just go away on its own probably' but then i go back like ya itsnot goin away and my hand feels weird and its Bigger so he tried draining it but. It didnt. Fucking work??? Like ganglions are sposed to jus have a clear fluid built up from the tendon but there fucking wasnt any????????????? So i dont even know what it is anymore??????

Its so annoying i am angry at these guys n like. On one hand w the ultrasound clinic they have practically no xray or ultrasound technicians available no one wants to move here. But also it takes me threatening to go to another clinic for them to suddenly have an opening???? Like i been talkin bout how this thing Hurts and my fingers feel fucked up but nah it took me wantin to actually go somewhere that could help me for em to. Help me.

[mousemilf]

my cyst ankle is getting stuck and feeling crunchy when i stand up from sitting down 😭 its crazy how ive seen like 3 doctors about it and theyre all like huh well it looks like a ganglion cyst it should go away soon probably. bro its been 6 years and my bones are weird in the x ray......

[technowings]

I am going to punt this ortho into the sun >:(

"Keep going to therapy and it should go away on its own" (I've been going since I saw you the first time, I missed a couple sessions and my recovery fell off a cliff)

"It's unusual that an enchondroma would cause pain like that" (but it can happen - mayo clinic says so and that's when surgery is considered)

"I can give you a referral to a hand specialist so that you'll have it if you need it" (please and thank you, maybe they'll at least act like they give a fuck)

Basically "keep going to pt and it should get better and the pain you're feeling is probably not because of this 'good sized enchondroma' 🙃 " (he even said that - it's 'good sized- what happened to being too small to worry about, hmmm???)

So this thing that can cause BONE FRACTURES?? I should just keep doing what I'm doing?

This issue that I'm having that has caused me enough pain that I've missed work even through the pain medication??

The thing that has caused me to lose so much strength in my left hand that my wife commented on it??

This thing that makes me unable to type on a computer and barely on my phone??

I even told him that I'm not after pain medication, I just want this to go away so that I can get on with my life.

"I can see about getting you in here so we can see if it's some kind of tendon issue"

Maybe the issue is that there is goop in my bones where there shouldn't be and it's right on a pressure point?!?

Where's dr.yiff to diagnose me like in that one comic about furry artists vs drs. I'm so pissed at least I didn't have to drive an hour for him to dismiss me again.

Oh OH and he off handedly mentioned that the cyst showed up on the xray?? THE ONE I HAD IN JULY? YOU DIDNT THINK TO MENTION IT THEN?

"The ganglion cyst has cleared up at least" you absolute walnut maybe it's because it wasn't one to begin with???

Like look, I'm not a doctor. I have no medical training. But I know that there's something wrong with my hand and it's affecting my daily life to a major degree. I told him about the day I got a spike of pain so bad all I could do was press my hand to my side and just breathe through it for a bit.

My pt is not a doctor, but she said that it's unusual for my pain to increase like this, and for my recovery to fall off a cliff like it did during those missed weeks.

So fuckin pissed. Now I feel like I have to go the self medication route because the lidocaine doesn't touch it, the dicofenac says "not for extended use" (going on 4 months, fam) and I'm not going to keep taking oral NSAIDs when they interact with my other meds.

Fuckyoufuckyoufuckyou step on a lego dr.v

Couldn't even be like "I'm sorry to hear that you're still in pain" or ask me any details about it.

God fuck dammit!