#it's a condition i cannot control 😔😔

[kuratm]

thanks to everyone for the support and kind messages! <3 i'm still a little under the weather, but doing better, so don't worry about me. i'm now going to un-pause my queue (i forgot to mention that part, my bad) and continue my reply spam as much as i can - and also start new interactions with my new mutuals (i am eyeing you all 👁). however, i have exams coming up so i'll also have to focus on speedrunning whatever assignments i've got left to finish them up, so...activity will still remain sporadic-ish. in the meantime ... PHAINON, am i right, fellow H/SR mutuals? 😏

[wonillaa]

driver vs passenger princess with enhypen

note this is very much inspired by woniebabe on tiktok bc i have been thinking abt this for so long and saw their post and it was like fate

heeseung is already jumping in the passenger seat before you can even get to the car … drink in one hand and his phone in the other on aux. “by the way you were supposed to turn there”

* gasps and grabs your thigh when a song he likes comes on (he chose it)

* keeps a box in the back with snacks he likes and feeds you while you drive

* pays you back by agreeing to get your gas when you drive 🤗

* knows the directions to every place ever

jay never lets you drive, claims its his duties as your boyfriend. lets you play whatever music you want but complains immediately whenever it gets too cold or too hot

* uses his horn more than he should, road rage personified i fear

* keeps tampons/pads and pain killers in the back if you have a period </3

* tries to show off by steering with his knee and accidentally swerves into the other lane

* every drive is karaoke, windows down both of you screaming the lyrics

jake starts off driving you around and asks more and more to be the passenger, “you’re just so good at it you know” and you both know he’s lying and hates driving

* points out every dog he sees

* buys you cute decorations for your car and air fresheners

* hand on your thigh at all times, plays the music so loud it’s embarrassing

* takes pictures and videos of you especially if you’re wearing sunglasses, he thinks you’re so cute 😓

sunghoon looooves driving you around meanwhile he is a danger behind the wheel, but he refuses to let you drive and argues that he’s never gotten in an accident so it’s fine

* likes to honk at people right when the light turns green, thinks he’s so funny

* speeds around corners and runs over curbs

* loves surprising you by pulling into your favorite coffee place and gets you treats

* shushes you if you talk over his favorite part in a song

you and sunoo have made an agreement that he drives if its dark but all other weather conditions are on you, he thinks night driving is relaxing he loves it

* prefers being a passenger so he can stare out the window and point things out to you

* you have a 24hour playlist you made together you shuffle every time

* when he drives he’ll hit potholes or slam on his breaks accidentally and just glance at you trying to not laugh and how your head just slammed against your window

* sunoo just reminds me of roadtrips so much and you two have each others gas station orders memorized

jungwon prefers driving but will let you decide, loves saying weeeeee on curves and gives people a thumbs down when they pass him

* big fan of cruise control and rants on how useful it is

* always gets you gas and washes your car for you

* randomly shows up by your house and texts you to come out because he’s bored

* very safe very good driver 🙏 you are in good hands

niki is nothing if not a passenger princess, cannot sit still either he goes from laying down with the ac blasting to dancing with the windows down

* do not even ask him to give you directions because he’ll read the map completely wrong and just laugh as you make the wrong turn and say “oopsie”

* asks to get snacks and says he’ll pay for it next time bc he definitely purposely forgot his wallet

* reaches over and honks at cars for you if they almost hit you “don’t get embarrassed he almost killed us!!”

* you two make so many car vlogs on post them on tiktok

* he is so spoiled and he deserves all of it 😔

[howlsofbloodhounds]

I was just hit with the realization that Killer would deal with seasonal depression by basically locking himself in stage 2 (of course, without realizing that's what he was doing, the day he admits to himself that he struggles with depression is so far out of reach and in the future that it's mostly irrelevant).

Because, okay, to me Stage 2 gets triggered by either a real or perceived loss of control, or by any kind of heightened emotions that Stage 1 cannot deal with. Depression usually comes with heightened anxiety/paranoia as well as a partial loss of control over your body (because of the fatigue associated with it, as well as loss of appetite and all that not so fun stuff).

So yeah. I'm just imagining Stage 1 being: "2 cannot be trusted"

Meanwhile 2 is just standing there, being the collective holder of the depression. He's doing less than usual, but he will also say it's a manipulation tactic and not his brain chemicals coming back with a vengeance

He’s also the collective holder of the anhedonia and chronic boredom I fear 🙏 😔 My guy can never feel or maintain a steady sense of happiness or positivity or pleasure, is it any wonder brother is constantly looking for the next something new to kill that boredom before it kills him.

Stage 2 is just a guy physically existing in this world but emotionally and sometimes mentally locked up away inside somewhere else behind that invisible wall of detachment and dissociation okay 😔. He just a little guy. (He collects trophies of his victims and unethically experiments on people and kills on command and is conditioned to respond to certain cues with unrestrained violence and brutality and sadism)

I’d imagine that during this seasonal depression period his motivation and ability to self motivate is extremely low, lower than normally is (which is actually saying a lot)—if he could he’d probably just literally lay in bed all day, if only the boredom didn’t start cause him to detach and dissociate further and doing so would mean having to acknowledge and admit that something’s off.

{ @stellocchia }

[sepiamestus]

I like ranpo and yosano's backstory I really do but like I hate too many others things (spoilers obviously)

Like I said previously, mind control. And by extension the book. A trope I cannot stand for the life of me is mind control. I think it lacks good motive and is just an awful excuse to get characters to do things they wouldn't do. Again just my opinion but I hate it.

Because the agency are like screwed at the start I just hate seeing nothing but bad things happen. I know the hunting dogs are meant to be like overpowered and a challenge but like I hate it. Also why do they always fucking target kenji in the beginning he's just a child

With where the manga is up to I haven't read anything because the characters that are relevant are characters I do not care about individually. That includes the prison section.

Again haven't caught up so I don't know the specifics, but the fact Fukuchi has killed god knows how many people to prevent this 'war' in the future THAT ISN'T REAL? THAT FYODOR MADE UP? I don't know how he was told or whatever but to go to that degree⁉️⁉️ oh my god I hate him

Sorry to be a hater in your inbox 😔😔😔

no no you've got some points! I like mind control in the like. Brainwashing sense, like as in a person's still in control of their brain but theyve been forcibly conditioned, so the vampire arc (while i appreciate the aesthetic) was a bit disappointing- although i could never bring myself to hate it because it gave us

💞💞💞

I do agree that the villains in that arc are disappointing though. I like some of the characters- Teruko's really cool. I like sigma and nikolai a lot. The other hunting dogs are ehhhh. I don't really care about them that much.

But THIS MAN

THIS MOTHER FUCKER.

Is the most annoying ass villain ever. not in the sense that i hate him because hes evil (although i DO because he killed my beautiful wife akutagawa even if he got better) but because i hate his dumbass time traveling swords that keeps rewinding the arc. Also i feel like we're supposed to get attached to him in such a short period of time and i??? I dont??? Think it worked?? Like when he dies im sad because fukuzawa is sad but not because he died. If we'd had longer to stew on their relationship maybe it wouldve been sad. But we only have like 1 arc and i dont care ab him. Die

Anyways yeah ur always welcome to be a hater in my inbox i will always join in <3 love andlight

[pompompurin1028]

now you have said it, i would love to see your opinions or a character study on sigma!! we haven’t seen much about his character fully yet, but about how he was created and how his existence takes place in the bsd universe in general. im sure you would put your philosophical perspective on it too. I have not seen enough stuff about it so im curious about your opinions too if you would like to share in the future. don’t feel pressured for it please, it was just me telling im curious if you would like to share in the future haha! hope you have a wonderful day ly 🫶🏻🫶🏻

Thank you for your interest dear anon <3 Honestly, I would love to do something like that for Sigma but we really don't have much to go off from at the moment, which is kinda upsetting because Sigma has so much potential in my opinion! (I'll share it down below since it's like I have enough for a bit but not too much and honestly most of it is more of what I feel Sigma could do for the narrative/theme rather than only on Sigma himself I apologize)

From a philosophical perspective, Sigma is very interesting from a perspective of studying being, or in other words what "to be" means, that sort of thing (though I will not dare say I am extremely knowledgeable on ontology orz). So he has a lot of potential :). This was something I wrote in Discord before but let me reiterate a bit. Sigma's whole character sort of makes us question how we come to be in the world. I mean, sure, we are not written into a book and born without memory, but we like Sigma cannot control the fact that we are born into the world, into circumstances we cannot determine

As @/daz4i out in this post, the whole DOA arc reveals the existential horror that is embedded within our daily lives! It would also be interesting for the characters in bsd to explore this idea through this angle, especially paired with the existential theme bsd has going on because it shows that like oh, we can't really just choose what we want to do, we're still bound by other things in the world, our society and we could just die with a flip of a button of One Order if Fukuchi chose to. This reveals the deep interdependence we have going on and shows that (in Judith Butler's words) the idea of the self is always situated in an “elaboration [...] of social bonds”. This would then reveal this tension between the fact that we are basically kind of in situations we cannot control but also the fact that in a sense we also determine how things turn out (or a better wording would be we are born and influenced by historical and social contexts that shape us as a person but at the same time we are also shaping these historical and social conditions) <- this is something I'm academically interested in rn so excuse me for just dumping my thoughts orz (it is also fascinating since this applies not only to a existential standpoint but also to theories in language, literary interpretation and on selfhood. Anyways....)

I just think Sigma's character has the potential to move the narrative and theme in this direction because he is literally a character born from a book, and it could lead the characters to enquire in a self-reflexive way about their own being as a character of a story. And it would be quite interesting since the act of thinking of oneself as a character which in a sense doesn't have control has some parallels to the existential horror thing I mentioned earlier...

Anyways I hope this makes sense and thank you for letting me share my thoughts with you <3

I know this is an ask about Sigma mainly but yeah... but of course, I cannot say I am certain bsd will move in this direction :( I really would like to do a character study on only Sigma but I think Sigma's potential works best with other people! Maybe someday I'll figure something out <3

Edit: (because I forgot to write some other thoughts😔)

I would love if bsd would pair Chuuya, Dazai and Sigma together and explore the idea of what humanity means. This was sort of raised in the sky casino arc with the idea of superhuman vs normal humans but I want more >:(. Sigma is a curious character since I don't even know if we would categorize him as human? I hadn't read stormbringer yet so I can't speak on Chuuya but it's interesting that Dazai being human feels inhuman yet Sigma who is and can be said to he inhuman is presented as a normal human.

[acey-wacey]

Can you do headcanons on what if Yuu/Reader just bursts into their room/office and just say "I'M VERY GAY FOR YOU", as like a confession, and just leaves by running away?

By their, I mean Riddle, Azul, and Idia (And another character if you want to add)

(Ps. Your working is amazing and I admit, I confessed to my current partner like this, it worked so)

Fr?? I need to try that, maybe I'd get a girlfriend 😔

...

🌹 Riddle Rosehearts 🌹

It was a completely peaceful day for Riddle.

He'd just aced his exams, ADeuce hadn't caused too much trouble, the dorm members were all doing homework or reading quietly in the common rooms.

But as he enjoyed the tranquility, he heard stomping down the hall before you kicked open the door and pointed at him with determination on your face.

"I AM VERY GAY FOR YOU!"

All eyes turn to you as Riddle stared with utter shock.

"GOODBYE!"

Riddle hadn't even process what you said before you stormed back down the hallway.

He just sat there, completely frozen, as the freshman looked at him expectantly.

Everyone thought he was about to run after you and tell you you had broken a rule or something but he just stared blankly at the floor.

The silence was broken by Trey who bursted out laughing.

Cater lamented about how he didn't get it on camera.

Riddle stood up in his chair, possibly about to go after you, but he sat back down.

He repeated this process about four times before he put his head in his hands, the breakdown setting in.

"What in the Queen's name just happened?"

...

🐙 Azul Ashengrotto 🐙

It just happened one day after class.

You weren't planning on saying anything but you passed the Mostro Lounge and Azul was right there so you just...

"Hey, bich! I'm gay for you!"

You left right after, not wanting to give yourself enough time to regret it.

Azul just freezes.

Floyd and Jade try to get him to move but he is still staring at the door where you yelled your confession at him.

You broke him.

About ten minutes later, he relocates to his office, staring at his wall, trying to process what you said.

Maybe it was the aggression of the statement or the confession itself but he really cannot get it through his head that you are gay for him.

Eventually Floyd has to kidnap you and bring you to the Mostro Lounge to fix Azul since he's hasn't left his office in a week.

You have the conversation and he tries to make you sign a contract stating that your confession is legally binding and you cannot revoke your words.

It's very silly but you agree on the condition that he goes on a date with you.

He's broken again.

...

🎮 Idia Shroud 🎮

To be honest, you thought it would be kinda funny to see his reaction.

One part of your brain says that it's a bad idea but the impulse control is not strong.

When the two of you win a Valorant round together, you scream it into the mic while celebrating.

"I AM SO GAY FOR YOU RIGHT NOW."

You are a little concerned about the crickets on the other side of the voice chat.

Before you could say anything, he logged off of the game and left the vc.

A few minutes later, a frantic Ortho almost broke your door down and dragged you to the Ignihyde dorm.

Idia was curled up in a ball on his bed, rocking back and forth with a dazed expression on his face.

His hair is a dusty pink and it's glowing brighter than you've ever seen it before, matching the splotchy blush on his face.

When he notices that Ortho brought you, he screeches and tries to scoot back but he has already backed himself into the corner.

You giggled and sit down on his bed, comfortably far from him but close enough that he could touch you if he wanted.

"I meant it, Idia. I am gay for you."

Idia.exe has stopped working.

Ortho is in a panic once more.

[bouffees]

Does anyone experience the same?

I just got diagnosed with mild mitral valve and aortic regurgitation. It's new to me so I'm still having a hard time managing symptoms. I also live alone. I sometimes wake up with a numbing left arm and a resting hr that shoots up to 115-125 bpm, but oxygen level is normal. Been having chest tightness as well. Also, I sometimes feel dizzy that I feel like the ground is moving or I'm floating. I also feel like there is a lump/discomfort in my throat and it's hard to swallow. I have tingling sensation all over my body. There are even times I would have severe headaches accompanied by blurry vision. Usually when these happen at night, I cannot sleep anymore till the morning because of anxiety. It's hard for me to identify whether my chest pain episode is from my heart, asthma, or anxiety. It's frustrating because I have been told my condition doesn't usually exhibit symptoms but here I am struggling everyday 😔

submitted by /u/howaboutnooo_ [link] [comments] from For issues related to heart disease, cardiac health and cholesterol control https://ift.tt/dsEmySL

[arbitrarytactile]

(Just gonna fill this because I have no followers 😔)

1. School was awful. Where I lived they didn't do screenings, so I struggled through grade school with unchecked ADHD AND dyslexia.

2. Not currently, but I want to try it.

3. I have a handful, but right now Camp Camp, pokemon, and The Living Tombstone

4. Probably the Akatsuki from Naruto. I've been obsessed with them for 15 years strong and have written a few essays and presentations on them that I preform on any of my willing friends. Also Death Note. I we watch the series at LEAST twice a year.

I dont even?? Like Naruto or Death Note? Loke whenever I talk about them I get super heated, but my brain just needs to take in this content.

5. My most problematic is probably?? The fact my main go-to stuff to listen to is Drama Channels on YouTube. Idk why. Probably because its so inconsequential to me. Ita like how people watch reality TV. I know so many dumb facts about random YouTubers and their drama. Usually whenever something BIG happens where general population people actually hear about it I step in to clarify situation (see me having to explain to my Japanese coworker the Logan Paul Death Forest Disco of 2017 because her daughter was talking about it)

6. I hyperfixating on shows/movies mainly. Something I can make content for. Also on YouTube I cycle through different topics. These hyperfixations are separate, as I only listen to specific things (usually people talking with limited priority on images, so I can listen while drawing and the visuals won't distract me too much (if at all). Also, to a smaller scale, I hyperfixate on music. Can be a genre, band, or specific playlist built around a character or ship i like.

7. Coffee helps me focus, but I have a heart condition so I heed to be careful when I take in caffeine. I have chronic Tired Bitch Disorder, tho, so I need it at work to Survive.

8. I started researching when I was 19 and told my then friends, who ignored me and dismissed their idea until I had to come with the DMCA file HIGHLIGHTED with all the traits I had.

Due to insurance I havent had a chance to get diagnosed yet (ill be 25 early next year), but one of my partners and I have VERY similar traits and he is diagnosed.

We aren't. Subtle. Anyone could look at me and know I have Something tbe fuck up.

9. STIMS. GOSH. I HAVE SO MANY and ia always forget whenever I'm asked. I REALLY like processing things with my hands/mouth. Like shelling nuts or breaking things down thay don't need it.

I do a lot of TAPPING. usually full-on flappy hands (or rather for me it's fists) is a stress response. So I don't do it often in a happy sense unless I find out I'm about to go do something I REALLY like to do. I just. Tap. A lot. Both my hands and my toes.

(Fun fact: im a preschool teacher. I teach kids 20 months-3 years. Kids just stim! All kids stim! And my students have started adopting my stims!! Its super cute!!)

10. I really like slime, but more on the putty/play dough side.

11. I actually really enjoy fidget spinners. I used to have a glittery pink glow in the dark one, but it disappeared :(

12. I learned best by sight and doing it! Like, if I'm watching something and doing it at the same time I learn super well.

Because of my dyslexia traits I need to read and hear someyhing at the same time to be able to process it properly, or it takes my full focus if I'm just reading. Reading + audio book and dialogue + subtitles us BOMB.

13. It really depends. If I'm having a really sensative day I have a LOT of trouble processing voices/sound. I am also very sensitive to touch and usually Cannot be touched without getting really testy. I'm usually super quiet these days and will keep my noise canceling headphones on as much as possible. On good days I am really bouncy and huggy and LOUD. I have... trouble with volume control.

14. If I'm trying to work on something and watching videos sometimes a video will catch my interest on my recc thay requires more attention to consume, so I'll watch it instead of working. Or, my go-to executive Dysfunction "I Don't Wanna Get Up" distraction of scrolling through tumblr forcehati think is 5 minutes bug turns out to be 30.

15. I really wish people would leave me alone when im giving off signals. I wish extroverted people, especially strangers, will stop bothering me when im trying so desperately to focus (this was a huge problem before Covid when I would spend hours sitting in Starbucks trying to work).

I also wish people would be more understanding when I have trouble controlling my volume. Like if im trying to explain something I CANNOT whisper, and it is VERY hard for me to keep my voice low. Loke it takes a lot of effort and it makes it hard for me to focus on the topic im talking about and it breaks my concentration.

Im not yelling. I know im not. Please stop telling me to quiet down pleaseeeeeeeee for my concentration and my RSD

ADHD asks

what is/was school like for you?

are you medicated?

what’s your latest hyperfixation?

what’s your oldest hyperfixation?

what’s the most problematic hyperfixation you’ve ever had (don’t lie, everyone had at least one in their young years)

what type do you have?

how do you react to coffee?

when did you know you had ADHD?

favorite stim / one you do most often?

slime or floam?

opinion on fidget spinners?

how do you best learn (visual, auditory etc)

how sensitive are you?

what most often distracts you?

what do you wish people understood about adhd?