#it's Enriching though to reflect on. like a fun balance of ''is there shortcomings of Metaphors? maybe but it's backed up by Story''

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Full Tech Day One pic today from kiko laureano (denizen of skid row / ensemble) & video (that's four seconds of "ya never know" playing over the static image) from & ft. marcia milgrom dodge (director / choreographer) double captioning "there might be puppets in this musical ;)" & "Well Shake my hand! Come see LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS @guthrietheater featuring @actually_will_roland's hand!"

[dawnfelagund]

Am I crazy for wanting to become a teacher? I'm taking classes for teaching certification right now, but I saw the post about ADHD and the anger there really shook me. Any words of wisdom for a young aspiring educator?

The short answer is, no, I don’t think you’re crazy. :) I adore my job and there is nothing else I’d rather do. I have so much fun with my students; laughter and joy are part of my everyday work. I’m on summer break now, and the other day, I found myself scrolling through pictures on my phone that I’d taken throughout the school year and reminiscing about the last school year and laughing anew at the things we got up to and missing my kiddos badly.

But–you probably knew there was going to be a but :)–I would be lying if I didn’t say my job is extremely hard. Teachers are notoriously bad at work-life balance. (One of my professional goals for next year is to improve on work-life balance because the year I had last year is not sustainable long-term.) I think new teachers should go into their work with eyes open to the challenges we face in our profession right now; they are not insurmountable challenges, but they are significant and tend (in my experience) to be glossed over by teacher-prep programs and school districts desperate to solve teacher shortages by harping on the “Make a Difference!!” message at the expense of acknowledging what the day-to-day reality of new teachers will actually look like.

As I said in my original post, expectations and working conditions vary widely by district in the U.S. Contrary to conservative myth, the federal government does not control or mandate curriculum (Common Core is standards, not curriculum, and also not adopted by every state)–and ironically, the biggest federal education mandate, the unfunded No Child Left Behind law, was a Republican policy–and this is controlled at the state or local level, so my experiences in the two states where I’ve taught (Maryland and Vermont) may not reflect what your experiences would be where you live.

In general, though, teachers are on the front lines of a society where people are increasingly finding it difficult to meet their basic needs and where the social safety net has been systematically dismantled. Unless you end up in a very privileged school–which is near-impossible for a new teacher–this absolutely impacts the kids you will see in your classroom every day. It most often manifests in behavior problems, either because kids in families stretched thin by poverty haven’t been taught behavioral expectations for school or because kids are acting out due to trauma and other psychoemotional problems that they are unprepared to cope with. In my experience, teacher-prep programs have done little to nothing to prepare new teachers for how to manage a classroom where kids are daily trying to cope with such challenges. (For the record, the first five years of my career were spent in a special-ed school in Baltimore for boys with emotional disabilities, so I know what extreme behavior looks like … and my teacher-prep program spent one week in one class addressing classroom management, never addressing significant behavior issues that you most likely will encounter in the classroom. While my first school had major shortcomings, I am extremely grateful that it did offer me the training I needed to be effective with the most challenged and challenging kids. I hope your program serves you better than mine did but if not, I’m happy to share resources.)

Again, the impact this would have on your as a professional depends on your district. I am lucky to work in a district that prioritizes education, so even though my school had the highest eligibility for free and reduced meals in the state last year, you would not know it from looking at my school, which does a commendable job of extending the same opportunities to our students as would a school serving a middle-class community. Most of the enrichment and social services we provide is funded through our school budget or grant money. Sadly, this is not the case for most schools in the U.S. that serve low-income populations, which is why you often hear of teachers coming out of their pockets not only for their classroom supplies but for food and clothing for their students who would otherwise go without.

Part of my anger is because of this: because how have we failed as a nation if we cannot protect the basic needs and safety of children? Yet I have had children in my care for every moment of my career who have faced hardships that would have been the end of me.

And some of the anger you sensed is because one of the other realities of our profession that no one talks about in your teacher-prep classes is how despised our profession has become–and routinely and casually so–due to right-wing slander against educators. And for whatever reason, this rhetoric has been picked up by people across the political spectrum. This is Tumblr, so I’d be willing to wager that most of the people in the original thread I was responding to would identify with the left politically, yet are fully comfortable making claims that public educators medicate kids because they’re too lazy to deal with developmentally normal behaviors. Likewise, I have had progressive friends make disparaging comments about educators directly to me, thinking nothing of it because it’s become so commonplace to assume that teachers are stupid, incompetent, and lazy that they don’t even stop to think about what they’re saying long enough to consider their audience. (To wit, the saying “If you can’t do, teach,” which an online friend–again, an outspoken progressive–actually wrote to me when congratulating me for completing my certification, apparently never stopping to consider that I might find that sentiment insulting.) But, as I noted in my post last night, we are one of the only professions remaining with strong union membership, and this makes us a threat to big-money interests that would like to skim out of our pockets in the same way they have the U.S. people as a whole and are fighting with every ounce of their being to privatize and profit from the public right to a free and appropriate education for every child in the U.S. In addition, as I noted in the tags, we are the ones teaching kids inconvenient facts about their legal rights and democratic ideals and some of the less-rosy chapters of our nation’s history, which makes us a threat to certain groups who would far prefer an ignorant, frightened populace.

Anyway, as I noted at the beginning, I would not choose to do any other work, despite the frustrations and challenges. At the core of what I believe is the potential of all human beings to influence our world for the better, no matter the color of their skin or their gender identity or the amount of money in their parents’ bank accounts when they’re born, and so I feel compelled to do this work, to put my talents and energy to offering a leg up to kids who might otherwise slip through the cracks.

If I could offer advice to a teacher-in-training, it would be this: First of all, be aware and evaluative of the amount of training your are receiving in classroom management. I can’t speak for every teacher-prep program, but the ones I’m familiar with spend very little time on this even though classroom management is the top concern of new teachers and, in my experience, the biggest reason why new teachers leave the field. Although I know that adding one more thing is probably like adding gasoline to a wildfire at this point in your career, it really is worth pursuing information on this on your own, if your program is not meeting your needs. It will make your first job so much easier (and make you so much more confident to be able to handle the challenges I described–and projecting confidence is itself a good classroom management strategy, especially if you work with older kids). As I said, I’m happy to share resources. If you have a mentor, they can help here as well.

If at all possible, student-teach in a school that is similar to the schools where you think you’ll eventually work. Another shortcoming I find with the teacher-prep programs I’m familiar with is that they stick their student teachers into the cushiest, easiest middle-class schools before casting them into a job market where they will likely start in a low-income, high-need school with significant challenges.

Talk to teachers in districts and schools where you’re considering working and find out what the strengths and challenges are. What support do they offer new teachers? (Ideally, you’ll get a mentor for at least your first year.) How much support do they offer their teachers in general? Does the administration have your back, or are they going to abandon you the moment the going gets tough? How much control will you retain over what and how you teach? Classroom management? You should be able to make adjustments to meet your students’ needs and interests; this is best practice, and if a district or school is doing otherwise, run. Does the school/district favor a positive or punitive approach to classroom management? What does the district/school see as their priorities? (Growing the whole child or raising test scores? Relationships or rigor?) How much pressure is put on teachers around test scores? How will you be evaluated and what is the philosophy around evaluation? (Assuming everyone can always grow and improve or using evaluations to punish shortcomings and mistakes?) How supportive is the administration in terms of maintaining a healthy work-life balance? What resources will you be given? Will you have a budget for supplies? How much? Are the books, resources, and technology up to date? (Is there even technology? What is the ratio of students to devices actually available to use?) What opportunities are available in the school day for the arts? Do students have access to unstructured play and social time during the day? What resources does the school offer for kids and families in need of additional social services? Are there meals available for food-insecure kids? Counseling and mental health services? After-school programs? Or will you be buying breakfast every day for your homeroom rather than imagining them struggling through their morning on empty stomachs? Asking teachers and not administrators will help get some honest answers to these questions.

And please feel free to reach out to me at any time (and this goes for anyone thinking about or starting a teaching career!). I’m a mentor in my district and so trained to coach new teachers, and if I can offer any tips or resources then I’m happy to do so.

[psychotherapyconsultants]

8 Ways to Find Yourself Before Looking for Your Soulmate

Finally fall in love…for real.

You might call them your soulmate. The love of your life. Your life partner. That special person.

Many of us are seeking to find someone to love us, unconditionally. We crave our perfect complement — someone with whom we will share the memories of our lives with.

So we go all out in the pursuit of this special somebody — our so-called true love. We start dating with loads of optimistic energy, but after looking for some time, we become frustrated and start doubting that they are really out there. This special person is quite elusive.

The irony of love is that the harder you look for it, the less likely you are to actually find it.

What is standing in your way of finding true love?

The reality is that love is almost always out there just waiting to be discovered.

However, most of us are going about seeking love the wrong way. Looking for love has become a tedious and unpleasant chore. Many people have decided that looking for love is a huge, serious business that must be approached earnestly.

Even though selecting a life partner is a serious decision; flirting, dating, and courtship is a game that you need to have fun with in order to play it successfully.

Playing the game with sweaty palms will never get you what you are looking for. Seriousness in the pursuit of love leads to desperation, which will significantly sabotage your chances of finding love.

If you’re wondering how to find love, your soulmate, or kindred spirit, here are 8 things you need to do:

1. Take Care of Yourself

Many people are so focused on looking for love that they neglect their own self-care and self-love.

When you focus on nurturing yourself, you will keep your life balanced, and you will be a happier and more interesting person. Concentrate on activities that give you joy even as you seek out love.

Finding True Love in the Digital Age (Yes, It’s Possible)

2. Be Happy with Yourself

Do you believe that you can only be fulfilled if you are in a relationship?

Many people walk around unhappy with themselves and their lives. They carry the myth that you can only be happy if you are in love and in a relationship.

While there are immense benefits to being in a committed relationship, you can be just as happy and fulfilled without being part of a couple. Expecting another human being to make you happy is placing a huge, impossible burden on their shoulders and setting yourself up for failure.

3. Stop Criticizing Yourself

Do you know people who, in your humble opinion, are not as exciting as you, not as cute or attractive as you, not as smart as you, not as loving and caring as you and probably not even as accomplished as you, and yet they have a great relationship?

These people may not have as much going for them, but they have learned the art of self-love and self-care. The foundation of everything is self-love, self-worth, and self-confidence. You must love yourself before anyone else can love you.

Many people are seeking partners and relationships to complete them because they feel incomplete.

Do you stand in the mirror and say, “Look at my hair! Look at those ugly hips! How on earth will I ever meet someone when I am this short? I have legs like stumps! Why did my nose have to be this wide? My eyes are too far apart! I am destined to be alone!”

Well, if you continue criticizing yourself and putting yourself down, then you can be sure that other people will find it very difficult to see value in you since you are hiding it so well. Before anyone else can know, understand, and love you, you must fall in love with you.

4. To Find True Love, Be Your Own True Love

Science indicates that you must have an innate understanding of yourself and a loving and open relationship with yourself before you can attract your ideal partner. You must first solve the mystery of you before you can be happy in a relationship.

The first step in the journey towards love is learning to love yourself exactly the way you are.

All people have things that they would like to improve about themselves: weight, skin color, face, personality, and, even, habits.

If you focus on what you perceive to be your shortcomings, you will succeed in convincing yourself that you are not worth it and indeed, you will not be deserving of love. How can you learn to love another person when you do not love yourself to begin with?

Learn to look at yourself the way you would a friend. Don’t you accept and love them just as they are? See yourself as a worthwhile, valuable, and lovable person and be kind to yourself even as you work on your shortcomings and pursue your goals.

5. All Great Love Stories Start Inside Your Own Heart

Go inside of yourself and accept everything. The love you accept in your heart will always be a reflection of your deepest beliefs about yourself.

Do you accept abuse in your relationship? Check whether you think you deserve to be treated with dignity or you think you deserve to be disrespected. If you cannot accept and own your weaknesses, mistakes, fears, and flaws, you will never truly love yourself.

Stop judging and denying your flaws, and see yourself as a perfect human being who is full of imperfections — like everyone else. If you haven’t found true love, the likelihood is that something stands in the way — mostly the belief that you are missing something.

6. Find the Missing Parts of You

The answer to happiness and fulfillment is not outside of you. You need to turn your attention inward, explore the past wounds, heal them, and come to terms with your life.

All the joy you need, the thrill that you are looking for, the fulfillment that you crave — you can find all those missing parts by yourself. When you learn to be whole, love will show up.

Stop appealing to imagined, potential partners and enrich your life. Follow your own path and live a life that is meaningful to you. Be in places that you love, do jobs that are exciting, and meet people whose company you enjoy. Then, you will have a better chance of meeting your soulmate.

7. Use Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations are a great way to make you feel worthwhile, complete and lovable.

Write down a few statements: “I am beautiful inside out”, “I attract love wherever I go”, and “I am a kind, gentle person and I am lovable!”

Repeat these statements every morning, and over time, you self-love will start to grow. The only relationship that you can truly count on is the relationship you have with yourself. You are your own ride or die.

Secrets of Great Relationships From a Couples Therapist

8. Focus on Having Fun

Single events, matchmaking services, and online dating may be enjoyable for some people, but for others, they can feel like high-pressure job interviews. If these activities make you feel desperate and unattractive, you don’t have to put yourself through them.

Instead, you can shift the view of your single life as an excellent opportunity to have fun, participate in new events, and broaden your social circle. By doing things that you enjoy doing in environments that make you happy, you meet new people with whom you share values and interests. This is the easiest way to score yourself a great relationship.

So, rewrite the script of your life.

If you want to find love, make yourself the star of your life. No more hating yourself. No more seeing yourself as incomplete or less than enough. No more struggling to become what you think other people want you to become.

Be you — the best that you can be — and you will be more than enough to attract the love you desire.

This guest article originally appeared on YourTango.com: Put Down The Dating Apps-If You Want True Love, You Must Do These 8 Things First.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/8-ways-to-find-yourself-before-looking-for-your-soulmate/