#it's 3am and I have work tomorrow but alas!

[varpusvaras]

The Millennium Falcon was, perhaps, a fast ship for its type, but it was not smooth flying in the slightest.

Things had definitely been thrown around during the fight, but still, Leia had kept herself pressed against one of the windows, and she was staring right at the planet on the other side of it. The Death Star still loomed over it, like a mechanical moon, which was definitely a nerve-wracking sight. Luke couldn't fault her for looking afraid.

Still, he believed that Obi-Wan and Rex were going to succeed. He had to. There were no other options.

"Move, kid." Han pushed past him to the consols. "We need to make the jump before they send out more of them after us."

"There are already more coming", Cody said. He looked nervous too. Well, maybe not nervous, but tense. Luke could understand that, too. It was his partner and his brother that had stayed behind on the Death Star, after all. "We need to go."

"Already on it", Han grunted. He was typing on his consol even faster, decidedly not looking at the approaching swarm of TIE-fighters. "Okay, everybody hold onto something!"

Leia didn't move to hold onto anything. She was still standing at the window, staring at Alderaan. It looked almost like she was trying to see something, but Luke didn't know what. They were too far away to see anything on the surface, anyway.

She must've been just worried in general. It was her home, after all.

"Hey." Luke grabbed her arm. "It's going to be okay, the message said that your parents have already been evacuated. The Viceroy and the Queen are both on the way to the Rebel base-"

She whipped around to look at him.

"The Queen and the Viceroy?" She repeated. She looked more worried now.

"Yes", Luke said. "Commander Organa said that-"

"Where is he?" Leia interrupted him. Her voice had risen a whole lot. The ship shook beneath them as the hyperdrives begun to start up. "Commander Organa, where is he?"

"He said he was on Alderaan-" Luke started, attempting to explain the whole thing since he hadn't had the time earlier, but Leia wasn't listening to him anymore. She had turned around and was lurching towards Han.

"Stop the jump!" Luke had not heard her sounding so panicked before, not even when they had been inside the Death Star, surrounded by Stormtroopers. "Stop it!"

She reached for the consols, but Cody jumped forward as well before she got too close, and wrapped his arms around her and pulled her away.

"Leia, calm down-" Leia struggled in his grasp, glawing at his arms, her eyes wide.

"No!" She tried to push him off of her. "We can't leave him there!"

"We have to-"

"No!" Leia didn't look like she was even listening to anything that Cody was saying. "No! Stop it! Stop it, he's your brother, you cannot leave him there!"

Cody went still.

"What?" He asked, sounding somehow even more confused than what Luke felt. "What did you-"

The ship lurched forward in the way that Luke felt all the way at the bottom of his stomach, and the stars outside the cockpit started to blurr.

"No!" Leia almost managed to push Cody's arms away. "Buir-"

They jumped into hyperspace, Alderaan and the Death Star disappearing from their view all at once.

[princesserica84]

Option 1: be a responsible adult and get enough rest for work tomorrow.

Option 2: stay up till 3am watching Rings of Power S2.

Alas I have gone with Option 2.

Wish me luck for tomorrow! I will attempt to do adult shit on 2hrs of sleep.

[miseryinyou]

So it's been a snow day(s) for the past 48 hours in my neck of the woods. Not for me. But for most people.

We got about 2 feet of snow Tuesday overnight/Wednesday morning and the world shut down.

I currently live at home. Financially - it's a win. Rent is cheaper than what I could get elsewhere which makes it easier to pay off my student loans. In every other aspect it's a fucking nightmare.

I live with my mom (48) and my younger brother (24).

Because our family is dysfunctional af I have had MOST of the non-financial household responsibilities since the age of TEN. I mow the lawn 90% of the time. I do 90% of the dishes/taking out the garbage/vacuuming/kitchen cleaning etc.

When I complain about the unfair level of household work I do - I am told to "suck it up" OR "stop being so uptight".

Usually I just grit my teeth and think of the money I'm saving by living at home.

But yesterday it snowed. I still worked. I was able to work from home. But I worked.

My mom works for a school district so she had a snow day/day off. My brother works at a bank. They were closed due to snow - therefore he had the day off.

Me? I worked from 6:30am - 3:30pm.

I woke up at 3am. I usually work out for about 1h45min before work. I was convinced I was going into the office until about 6am. Therefore, I woke up an hour earlier than usual so I could shovel the driveway/dig out my car before work. At this point we had about 5 inches of snow. The shoveling took me about an hour (driveway/path to front door/sidewalk/dig out car).

All day. I worked. They were off. We got about 1.5 feet of snow between 7am and 1pm.

I came out of my room for lunch - the kitchen is a disaster. Crumbs all over the counter/dishes in the sink/food on the floor. I have 30 mins to eat so I quickly clean it and take my pre-prepped lunch into my room to eat.

I come out of my room after work. No one. Not ONE of the TWO able-bodied people WHO HAVE THE DAY OFF shoveled the driveway.

At this point it's going to be dark in about 1 hour. So I go outside after working 45 mins of overtime and shovel. It took me 2.5 hours. 1.5 hours ALONE was just digging out my car so I could drive to work the next morning. Also, it was garbage night. So guess who had to get the garbage together and pull it out to the curb? Me. Always me.

I'm annoyed. But whatever. It's not supposed to snow again. I'll deal with it. Tomorrow is a new day. It's not like I spent about 12 hours of my day working/shoveling. And another 2 working out. I'm not tired. It's fine.

But it's not fine. This morning I drove to work. The roads weren't great and my commute took me twice as long as usual.

My mom and brother? Still had the day off.

I come home after a stressful day and The HOLE I DUG FOR MY CAR. THE HOLE THAT TOOK ME 1.5 HOURS TO DIG is occupied by my brother's car. He didn't work. He had no reason to leave the house. He had no reason to get in his car in the FIRST PLACE.

So I had no choice but to park in the 2 FOOT SNOW BANK his car left behind.

Right there I started crying.

I drive a sedan. I have snow tires, sure. But the snowbank is the same height as my tires. I will have to work tomorrow. I was drifting and struggling for 10 minutes just to park after work. So back out to the road with my shovel I go. This time to dig ANOTHER hole for my car just so I can go to work tomorrow.

It's been such a bad week.

God. I'm like 10 minutes away from calling in sick tomorrow. But alas, my fucking family will probably be home (they're calling for freezing rain tonight) and frankly I'd rather work than be stuck at home with them tomorrow.

[allylikethecat]

Aah Ik it’s like normal time for you or whatever but it’s like 3am for me and the club music has my ears ringing SO BAD but all I am thinking about is All the Kings Horses and I feel like its important you know thT. I won’t get to read it until Saturday rn (it’s Saturday for me) but I promise I’ll send a proper ask when I do read it but I deffo want to read it sober. It would be a disservice to ur work to pay any less than 100% attention to every work you write !!!

Hahaha yes it is a very normal time for me �� I wish I was at the club, but alas I am old and also I need to be up at 5:30am tomorrow so we can get to the show. My class is one of the first of the day and I need plenty of time to walk my course and also nervous pee at least three times 😂 I hope you are having the absolute BEST TIME shake some ass for me and also make them play one of the new Charli songs!!

Thank you so much for reading All the King's Horses!! I will be looking forward to hearing your thoughts on it! Fictional!Matty has a tough time in it (what's new though for me lol) Thank you so much for reading and for the support and being so wonderful! I hope you are having the best night out and also make sure to drink some water!! I hope the rest of your weekend is wonderful as well!

❤️Ally

[starrynightnight]

I can have headcannon of Luca (idv) with a fem!scholar s/o who is from our time?,( plus she is goth girl).

luca balsa x scholar!fem!goth!modern!reader

-

description: headcanons

wc: 78 paragraphs

warnings/notes: my eyes water and its 3am i have work tomorrow if you see any mistakses you dont

-

a/n: GODD DOHOHDOHODHGO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG IVE LITERALLY BEEN WRITING THESE REQS AT WORK!!!! SUCH A CRUEL JOKE THAT I HAVENT EVEN GOTTEN TO USE THE NEW KEYBOARD MOST OF THE TIMEE :CRY: still jokes aside!!! thank you everyone who has requested!!!!!! reqs will stay open and everyone is free to request as they wish!!! dont worry about anything that i might not want to write, if you req something that i may not be comfortable with, ill tell you privately so :)))) ANYWAYS ON WIT THE HEADCANONS!!!!!

ah luca is a man of taste i see i see

but like fr, he could not ask for a better girlfriend

i feel like appearances dont matter to him too much but the moment he first saw you

he couldnt take his eyes off you for a good few seconds

victor had to pat him on the shoulder cause he was staring so bad lol

he wanted to talk to you so bad, kinda like in a "omg cool person!" way

but then again, you looked so unapproachable, untouchable. he was honestly intimidated

so he consulted with his homies

victor supported luca in pursuing the new survivor, after all, for better or worse, appearances could be deceiving

andrew was against it. he thought he had seen an upside-down cross motif on one of your dresses and would rather keep his distance.

and edgar just couldnt care less.

"i thought you called us here for an emergency."

alas, it was up to luca himself to decide

though he didnt need to wreck his head over the matter much more

one night, during dinner, you had noticed that the "prisoner" was missing from his usual seat

asking around, nobody really knew what was up, but the working theory was that he had just lost track of time while working on his invention

so an idea popped up in your head, a perfect opportunity to get to know the cute guy who has been staring at you since you arrived

it does sound rather creepy if you put it like that but then again-

offering to bring the guys dinner to him, so he wont go to bed hungry, you were already on your way to his room

it wasnt that hard to find, since his room was in the same hallway as yours

and finally standing at his door, you realized you really didnt have a game plan

but you didnt get this far in life by being a pussy so you firmly knocked a few times, swung the door open and-

he was still at his work table, not even noticing you.

dam

so you approach the tinkering, hunched over figure, trying to get a closer look at what has gotten him so entranced he literally forgot to eat

the blueprints strewn all over his workspace (a generous term, really) were unfamiliar at first and seemed to be written in great haste and its really a miracle they were still readable

but the closer you get the more you start to see familiar formulas… reminded you of-

suddenly, the man turned around and jolted back, leaving you frightened by the sudden movement

luca meanwhile was reaching for a tool on the farther side of his workspace when he saw your figure in the corner of his eye

a literal shock went through his body as he swiveled around, some electrical pliers ready to be used as a makeshift weapon

you both stared at each other, wide eyed and wordless

until you cleared your throat

"i.. brought you dinner.. and sorry about peeking the blueprints. its just they reminded me of-"

"y- youve seen these b- before?"

"no, not like that. i was just really into physics and-"

"y- youre EDUCATED?"

the dinner went cold as luca kept asking (borderline quizzing) you on your seemingly infinite knowledge

but you didnt mind much, it was refreshing to hold a convo about topics other than your style or the age you came from

luca meanwhile fell from "omg cool person" to "omg lets date"

point and laugh everyone lmao

though that didnt change too much, maybe a few more lingering stares whenever you showed up in a new costume or a few dreamy sighs

but he was still rather polite and respected your boundaries

besides, he aint got time for simping :/ lies

your relationship was always on the agonizing line where everyone else could tell you were pining for each other but the two of you never could

you were always the first person to run to luca after him getting chaired and he was always waiting for you at the exit gate, not willing to leave without you

and it was so infuriating too. when the answers were always "hes pretty cool to talk to," or "s- shes very k- knowledgeable," the inquiring survivors could not help but groan out of frustration

it was not until one night that your feelings were finally revealed

common knowledge was in the manor, that though luca had his jolts under control, sometimes he would still have episodes of terrible migranes and seizures

nobody really knew what to do about them, so when they happened, usually victor or andrew or edgar would check up on him, to make sure he wont accidentally hurt himself

one such incident happened when you were hanging around his room, watching him tinker with some spare parts he had found from one of the discarded rocket chairs in the manor's junkyard

until he suddenly fell from his chair clutching his head

not knowing what to do, you rushed over to him

he tried to stand up, he hated how you of all people had to see him like this, but he just ended up falling into your arms

trying to keep him on his feet, you led him to his bed, sitting there as you held him, and as he held onto you

luca could not deny your presence grounded him, so when he felt you hesitantly stroking his back, he felt at home

and after a few minutes, his agonizing episode had calmed into a dull headache, now more annoying than anything

"ill go get you a glass of water-"

you tried to stand up but a firm grip on your shirt stopped you

"n- no… stay… please…"

now how could you say no to that?

so you accepted your fate, as you lay in lucas bed, his head on your chest and a heavy blanket over the both of you

it was just on the edge of sleep when you heard an already sleeping voice

"i love you.."

the weight of these words didnt register really at that moment, so with your sleep brain you replied

"i love you too.."

anyways congrats youre a couple now!!!

nothing really changes lmao, but now you get an unlimited 'kiss luca on forehead' pass

look, look man, you will probably be taller than him, especially since his posture would make even the devil cry and especially if you wear tall platform shoes

so get used to being the tall one

also guard dog privileges for luca

nothing scarier than a big tiddy goth gf with murderous intent in her eyes

literally the embodiment of 'he wanted no pickles'

i am sorry if you wanted to be the soft uwu goth gf but in this house we girlboss and leave the malewifeing to men

but i digress

nothing also scarier than a goth gf who is smart and knows how to rip you a new one with just words alone

genuinely though, not a better gf in the whole wide world for mr balsa here

whether youre watching over his shoulder as he draws out new blueprints or helping his limping form towards the exit gate

luca loves you very much and every single day he gets to spend with you in this cursed manor is a day hes thankful for <3

[sunarinluvr]

|| haikyuu boys catching you awake at 3am ||

includes: suna rintarou, kuroo tetsurou, & iwaizumi hajime

a/n- hiii!! wow i did not expect my previous work to get that much attention :,) thank u all so so much i appreciate it a lot <33 anyways this is a very self-indulgent imagine (??) for my touch starved and lonely ass :D hope u enjoy!! 

warnings: has a bit of cursing !!

SUNA - 

suna is a light sleeper so it was only natural for him to get up when he heard noises coming from the kitchen at the crack of dawn. slowly opening his eyes, he instinctively reaches out for you and scowls when he felt nothing but cold empty sheets.

getting up from bed wearing nothing but a pair of gray sweats, he quickly checks his phone for the time then makes his way over to the kitchen where said noises came from. meanwhile you were sitting in the kitchen wearing your earphones and doing work on your laptop oblivious to anything happening around you.

there suna stood staring at you while you typed away on your laptop with the occasional singing into an imaginary mic with a hand on your chest and head bop. he just stood there with a smile on his face admiring how cute his s/o is.

after a few minutes you finally noticed your boyfriends presence and almost flinched at the sight of him. “rin..what the fuck are you doing there?!” you looked at him and maybe stared at his exposed chest a bit too long, but immediately snapping your gaze back up to meet his eyes  while giving him an unamused look.

he smirks as he walks over to you, not missing the way you looked at him “i heard random noises coming from the kitchen so i checked it out. what are you even doing? its 3 in the morning.”with a scoff you bring your attention back to your laptop “i’m working.”

sitting on the chair beside yours a comfortable silence envelopes you as he rests his head on his forearm, watching you type away. right as you finished your work, you hear growling which prompts you to stop quickly turning your head in the direction of your boyfriend who’s now pouting at you as he pats his stomach.

looking at him you let out a laugh “do you want ramen? i’m kinda hungry too.” lifting his head up a bit to see your face better he smirks “only if you make it” standing up from your seat feigning offense as you roll your eyes at him “who else would cook it then?”

after eating ramen and staying up to watch the sunrise, the both of you ended up sleeping on the couch with you cuddled beside him with one arm around your waist and the other behind your head.

KUROO -

kuroo is a very organized person, he takes his job very seriously and that’s why he is in his office at 3am trying to get a paper due in a week done ahead of time. you on the other hand decided to show your support by staying up with him while singing along to your shared playlist and scrolling through pinterest and twitter.

he was just about done with his work when he noticed how quiet its been the past few minutes, which confused him since you were just singing a few moments ago, so out of curiosity he stretched his arms and got up from his chair. slowly and quietly making his way out to the living room

once he entered the room he saw your laptop and blanket shoved to the side of the couch, and quickly realizes that you probably went to the bathroom since you rarely went to bed before him. kuroo being kuroo took this as an opportunity to scare you.

he padded over to the bathroom making sure to be as quiet as possible and stood beside the door waiting for you to finish. after washing your hands you go to grab the doorknob and just as you open it.. “BOO!” your idiot boyfriend shouted.

“AHH WHAT THE FUCK TETSU!!” you shrieked hand on your chest. “not funny tetsu. you almost gave me a heart attack.” you murmured glaring at your boyfriend who was now clutching his stomach and laughing obnoxiously. “hey kitten” he finally gets out.

you walked past him and back to the couch with an annoyed look on your face. following you back to the couch he plops down right beside you, but you ignore him and put on your earphones. “kitten” he drawls out “don’t be so upset, it was a harmless prank” poking your arm continuously.

now looking at him with a pout “i stay up for you and you decide to almost give me a heart attack??” he cups your face gently and gives your lips a quick peck “it was a prank. plus you’re not staying up for me, you just want to watch cat videos on twitter”

you hit his arm playfully as you sigh “whatever.....but you owe me ice cream tomorrow.” laughing he replied “deal.” then you pulled out your computer and watched cat videos cuddled up next to him for another 30 minutes before he drags you with him to bed.

IWAIZUMI -

iwaizumi was sleeping peacefully until he felt an itch in his throat, he tried ignoring it hoping it would go away, but alas it seemed like it wasn't going to go any time soon. so with a groan, he sits up  to get water. once he fully opened his eyes, he realized that you werent in bed meaning you were probably still doing your work.

sighing he gets up and makes his way out of the bedroom and into the kitchen where he saw you sitting down with one leg up on the chair as you type on your laptop. “babe” he says making his presence known. you look up at him and give him a sheepish smile

“hi haji...” walking towards you he sighs “why are you still doing that dumbass” he glances at the clock and continues “its 3am you should be sleeping” as he looks at you unamused. “i was just working so that i wouldn't have to do anything tomorrow and i didn't notice the time, also im almost done!”

you announced looking at him proudly. “what about you huh? why are you up haji?” he gets up and grabs a cup of water and drinks it, while you follow him with your eyes and a raised eyebrow. “my throat was itchy, so i went to get water”

walking back to you he hands you the cup signaling for you to drink it, and you do. he pulls out a chair and sits beside you “hurry up so we can go to sleep” you look at him with a teasing smile painted on your face “aww can't sleep without me?” you tease not missing the slight pink tint on his ears.

“just shut up and finish your work.” giggling softly you save your work and close your laptop “actually i kinda want some ice cream from the store” he just deadpans at you, groaning he got up went into the bedroom and came out wearing a jacket ready to head out.

“you are unbelievable” he tells you as you give him the biggest smile and a wave goodbye. he comes back to you asleep with your head resting on your forearm, iwaizumi tsks and grumpily puts the ice cream in the fridge while he puts your laptop away and carries you to the bedroom bridal style

after he gently gets you into bed and gets the both of you under covers, he is quick to wrap his arms around your waist while burying his face into your hair. smiling to himself because his s/o is adorable, he softly whispers “goodnight dumbass.”

reblogs are highly appreciated!!

[malleux]

spell [2]. | corpse husband

part one ; part three

-> Pairing: Corpse Husband x Fem!Reader

-> Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst

-> Warnings: Hate Comments, Self Doubt, Anxiety, Cursing

-> A/N: thank you for 1k notes on part one! i’m so glad everyone likes my work. it’s really nice getting this much love after taking a hiatus on my fire emblem writing blog. i hope y’all enjoy it and stay on the lookout for part three!

corpse husband taglist is closed!

Two weeks.

It’s been two weeks since you joined Sean’s Among Us stream.

While that was your first public appearance, you had joined three others after that and already you were blowing up on almost every social media platform you had. The attention was kind of nice, you had to admit, but sometimes the anxiety of becoming a public figure weighed heavily on your shoulders.

During that time, you turned to your friends who were used to such scrutiny: Sean, Felix, and now Corpse, who you’ve been talking to every day for those two weeks.

It was another one of those nights where, at 1am, you were on Facetime with said man. His screen was dark, as usual. He hadn’t shown his face yet and you respected that. You didn’t need to see him to talk to him, or be his friend, or develop a slight crush on him. All of which you did.

The call was relatively silent on your end. Corpse was on Facetime with you, yes, but he was also on a call in Discord, once again playing Among Us.

You often wondered if playing that game was all your new friends did anymore.

You stayed quiet, letting Corpse play the game and avoiding his fans finding out about your call. You had college work to finish anyways, so the silence was rather helpful.

“We should ask Y/N if she wants to play. I wanna meet her.” Sykkuno’s voice rang out from the Discord call. He was right- you’d never met him. He and Corpse seemed extremely close, though, so you’d love to talk to him. A friend of your crush friend was a friend of yours.

“She’s busy tonight.” Corpse responded.

“Yeah, she’s got an exam coming up- wait, how do you know?” Sean joined in, questioning Corpse.

“Uh, I mean we’re on Facetime right now, I guess.” Your heart sped up- now his fans knew. “She’s studying. We’re just hanging out.”

“Didn’t you guys ‘hang out’ last night as well? It seems like you’re trying to take my best friend away from me.” Sean joked back.

“I mean, I definitely am.”

Your breath caught in your throat. What was that supposed to mean? Sean was obviously kidding, but the tone in Corpse’s voice wasn’t the one he used when he was joking as well.

Felix suddenly butted in. “Ooooh, I think Corpse-y has a little crush.”

“And if I do?”

Y/N.exe has stopped working.

꧁꧂

Three weeks, now, that you’ve been talking to Corpse daily.

One week since Corpse’s crush comment and one week that you’ve endured countless mentions and tags on Instagram and Twitter, constantly talking about #CorpseY/N.

You didn’t really mind the shipping, often losing yourself in daydreams about driving those two hours down from your apartment in Los Angeles down to San Diego and running into his arms. It didn’t help when he mentioned wanting you to come visit one day.

You just worried about how Corpse felt about them. He was still relatively new to blowing up on the internet as well, his fame suddenly skyrocketing in the past few months, so you weren’t sure if he was comfortable with them. You didn’t want to bring it up, either, fearing that the discussion would make things awkward between the two of you.

For now, you were rather content with just scrolling through the #CorpseY/N hashtag, looking at the pictures and nice things people had to say about you both.

“they’re so cute when they talk to each other, you can just tell Corpse meant it when he said he was trying to steal Y/N away.”

“#CorpseY/N is my new favorite thing. Everyone shut up this is all I’ll be talking about from now on.”

“God why can’t they just be together already? #CorpseY/N”

Everyone was so supportive and sweet, it almost made you feel like you already were Corpse’s girlfriend. Although your heart hurt when you were brought back to reality, you couldn’t help but love the comments that everyone left. They were amazing.

Until they weren’t.

There are always two sides of the same coin. Along from the supporters and their loving actions, there were also those who seethed at the idea of you and Corpse.

They scrutinized everything about you to the point that you made your Instagram account- already with 30k followers- private.

Haters talked about you. Your body, your personality, how you weren’t worthy to even talk to Corpse and the rest of the Youtubers, and so much more. You’ve spent many nights with your Facetime mic muted so that Corpse couldn’t hear the small sobs coming from you.

These thoughts were almost always on the back of your mind, but you were sometimes able to push them away.

Like now- as you focused on your exam. Well, tried to focus. There comes to be a time where one can only hear so many negative things about themselves before they can’t ignore it anymore.

But alas, you tried your hardest and finished your exam, before walking out of the room and pulling out your phone. Now, you had a break before your new classes started and you’ve never been more relieved. You pulled up a certain contact and clicked on the message icon, beginning to type.

you:

i’m finished! up next, a break.

corpse:

I hope you did well. How long is your break?

you:

two weeks!

corpse:

Come spend it in San Diego

You stopped in your tracks, taken aback by the offer. You really didn’t think that he’d invite you over, but you weren’t about to complain. Instead, you sent back an ‘I’ll pack tonight :)’ and rushed home to do just that.

Corpse called you as you packed, just like he calls every night. You were used to the routine now, often falling asleep around 3am as he stays on the phone, doing whatever he does with his ruined sleep schedule until you wake up and say good morning.

Tonight, however, you were too jittery to sleep. You stayed up all night with Corpse, talking about anything and everything, like usual.

What wasn’t usual, though, was how distracted he sounded. It made you nervous- was he having second thoughts about inviting you over? Was something wrong?

Your thoughts nearly overwhelmed you, forcing you to say something.

“Are you okay, Corpse?” You tried to hide the small shake in your voice.

“Hm? Uh, yeah, yeah, everything’s good. Why?”

“It doesn’t sound like it. What’s going on? You’re acting off.”

His side of the phone was silent for a moment, before he let out a sigh. “I’m just thinking about what I’ve got to do before you get here tomorrow. Like, cleaning and stuff.”

“Pshh, that doesn’t matter to me.” You waved your hand, even though he couldn’t see it in the darkness of your room.

“It’s just that, my apartment isn’t… the best. It’s small and there’s only one bedroom and it’s kind of shitty. I just don’t want it to be even more shitty.”

“Corpse, I’m coming there to spend time with you, not your apartment. I don’t care what any of that shit looks like. I’m going to be looking at you and hanging out with you. Not your apartment.” You didn’t mean to go on a tangent of reassurance, but you truly meant all of your words. “Hell, I might not even see the apartment because I already know I won’t be able to look away from you.”

“I- God, give me a minute. That took me off guard.” He laughed. “But thank you. I may not even be able to clean because I’ll be distracted too.”

“By what?”

“You, standing in front of me, in person.” You could hear the smile in his voice. “That’s a fucking dream come true.”

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taglist: @namjoons-crabssss @lookingforaplacetosleep @teenloves @princess00wifi @pillowjj @nvm-idgaf @creativedogs @wildflowerwhore @chillininahottub-withaghost @whyisquill @holosexualunicorn7000 @ourheavenlyemotions

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[becomingkatie]

Conference outfits doing a silly little pose. I have returned to my room and changed into sweatpants already. There’s one more session I mightttttt attend but I will go down in sweats if I decide to go. And screenshots from my lunch video chat with Ken and Theo.

One of the vendor tables on Monday was giving out emergen-C where everyone else was giving out pens. I’m not convinced it does anything but I did just take it because I’m starting to feel a sore throat and just a little off.

Yesterday was big panic. Anxiety. Bad bad not fun in my head. But I’m feeling loads better emotionally today and really enjoyed all the sessions I attended.

Tomorrow I fly back home and I am soooo ready. I do feel like I need another week off from work to process the information and implement all the things I’m so excited about from this conference. Alas, the bills say no. Back to my day job I go. For now.

I actually remembered earlier that I have a job which means that for a fleeting moment I forgot. To be so immersed in author world and entirely focused on my future career that my brain departed from my current reality was pretty cool. Remembering I have a job waiting for me wasn’t.

So glad I came. So ready to be back to my house and my husband and my cat and my bed and my coffee maker. But so glad I came.

All right! Time to lie down on the hotel bed for a bit, write some words, pack my stuff, then get a few hours of sleep before my 3am alarm! Wheee!

[bomberqueen17]

layers of mild pain

So yesterday was the final chicken processing day of the season. Yay! We were all excited to be done. The workload on the farm drops significantly once the meat chickens are all gone. And it usually coincides with other reductions in livestock, too. Most of the employees are only here April to October; we’ll lose two people at the end of the week. The only two who’ve really stuck around, alas. Including the one who lives in the cabin on the back of the property, so then that reduces traffic and crowdedness on the farm, and also reduces worry, though this year as there hasn’t been any snow or frost yet it hasn’t been so bad. (There comes a time when the road’s impassable to cars, so.) 

cut for discussion of chicken processing, animal death etc, though nothing particularly gory I don’t think but just best to elide here

Unfortunately, we had one person out sick, one person out due to weather (couldn’t ride her bike in the rain), and one person out due to new mom problems (her infant didn’t sleep so neither did she). And we had a full slate of chickens-- not just the normal complement of broilers, we also were culling the laying flock a little. Not actually hens-- we used an incubator to hatch out a batch of laying hens and of course 50% of them were male, so we were culling those unneeded cockerels to reduce crowding over the winter. While we were at it, we thinned out the number of roosters in the main flock, as there are more than necessary in there and if there are too many they just fight each other. (You do need roosters-- for one if you want to incubate any more those need to be fertile eggs, but for another, in a big pastured flock the roosters do important crowd control and predator deterrence-- if they’re good roosters. Your backyard flock doesn’t need roosters but for our purposes they’re useful to have about.)

They were such a pain in the ass. The young cockerels were hard enough to deal with-- they’re built so narrow and spare-- but the mature roosters, crikey. They’re just. A meat chicken is a young bird bred for fast growth, and as such is just this pile of soft meat. A mature chicken from an egg-laying breed-- I mean those guys have been out there for over a year now-- anyway they’re put together pretty solidly. It is hard as heck to get their organs out of their bodies. Also chickens have internal testicles that in many cases are as large as, or larger than, their hearts, and they’re attached real firmly to the spine pretty directly, and it’s, well. a lot. (The meat chickens are so young at processing time their reproductive systems haven’t really developed so it’s not a big deal.)

So that got us off to a slow start in the evisceration room and we just spent the entire rest of the morning trying to catch up. We had a good enough time, but there was just-- a lot of work to do.

And then yet one more person begged off for packaging; the assistant livestock manager has already gone very part-time, and he had started a new medication on top of that and had to go lie down. So I had to do two jobs at packaging, and Sister already does three or four jobs so she was just running around like a crazy person, and I had to do those two jobs plus locating and cleaning various equipment we needed (mostly tubs to transport quite a lot of the meat directly to a freezer storage facility tomorrow-- the tubs are resting in the walk-in cooler right now but as we rarely use them I had to start off by locating matched sets of tubs and lids and anyway it was a lot.)

Also also my period had started at 3am the night before, with severe enough cramps to wake me from a sound sleep, so. I was already sore and today i’m like sore-on-sore and would like to lie down for a while.

We finished at like. 5:45. And I did a halfassed job cleaning the slaughterhouse floor but this morning it actually seemed pretty good so I’m wondering if the fairies helped me out, or if the rodents that sometimes steal cracked eggs did me a solid and picked up the organ bits there too, or if it just wasn’t as dirty as I remembered when I gave up and left it.

So.... it could be naptime, that’d be keen, but it’s not. At least I’m sitting right now, which I appreciate. Spent the early morning putting the kid onto the bus and then going and really tidying the slaughterhouse, putting the tools away for the season, refilling the soap and bleach sprayers. I might go out a bit later and actually put everything away for winter, as we won’t need it again until turkey processing time in late November and it’d be best to have it all buttoned up. But also I have to do lunch and I’m tired and I just want to sit here a minute.

I have to make lunch too, and it’s gotta be vegan, and I think it’s just going to be a whole pile of roasted vegetables since that’s what’s getting harvested today-- the winter storage stuff. I have a huge rutabaga sitting here and I’m not sure how one actually prepares one but when in doubt cube it and put it in the oven for an hour.

[julemmaes]

Thoughts on Thomas and Alastair reading red white and Royal blue together in modern AU.

uhm yES PLEASE

This contains spoilers for Red, White and Royal Blue. Enjoy!

Imagine them in bed right after dinner cause they're one of those couples who ditch their friends to read

Thomas coming back home with this book Matthew and Cordelia have been ranting about for the past weeks

And Alastair is weirded out by the fact that he has two copies, "Why would you buy two?"

Thomas just shrugs, "I didn't. Cordelia gave me hers, cause she told me you'd spoil anything the second you read it."

They settle in bed and Alastair waits until Thomas is ten pages in to start his, cause Cordelia wasn't wrong about him spoiling everything

Thomas is a calm reader, only crying when you're supposed to cry and reading a book without having to talk about it for the rest of your life

Alastair is the complete opposite

He frowns and screams at the books and always goes to Thomas to make him read single sentences before starting to rant about what fucked up shit the characters are doing

Thomas usually doesn't understand anything of what he says, but he also stops doing whatever he's doing, focusing all his attention on Alastair until he just storms out of the room to continue reading the book

Alastair is also a ugly crier when it comes to books

And a thrower

He once hit Thomas by mistake and it was because of a character's death. Imagine his guilt just adding to his grief and picture a very distraught Alastair while he's being coddled by his boyfriend

Alastair has laughed and chuckled way too many times in Thomas' opinion, but hasn't commented on anything yet

Until, "Oh my sweet jesus, bOY YOUR GAY IS SHOWING."

Thomas has to laugh at that and turns towards him, "What happened?"

Alastair is shaking his head in disbelief, "Alex is hating Henry with every fiber of his body one page and then he's brushing his posters the next? He's dumb."

"He reminds me of someone." he mutters

Alastair ignores him

"I'm living for Henry calling Alex out on his shit behaviour." Alastair whispers at some point, with a large smile on his face

Something hits Thomas on the leg and when he looks up he notices Alastair with his eyes and mouth wide, "The cAKE!"

"Homoerotic frat bro mishap - gotta love this woman."

"Tom," he calls him, "have you ever hate-read my wikipedia page?"

"You don't have a wik-"

"But, honestly, who does he think he's fooling? This boy is dumb dumb." He laughs, "Mad stupid."

From time to time Thomas just hears "Stan Zahra." or "Stan Ellen." and he just smiles

At some point Alastair just screams-laughs and goes "I'm going to thROW UP ON YOU, I'M DYING." before falling silent again without any trace of amusement seconds later

Thomas is startled when Alastair screech, "BABYY!"

"What?"

"ALEX IS SAYING HENRY'S SKIN IS SOFT."

Thomas is enjoying the book just as much, but he can't wait for the moment when they both realise they like each other, so he just keeps reading

"Alex was fAST starting to see Henry as a human being and not some kind of monster."

"Oh my god, why is Alex being such a dickhead-"

After a few minutes of silence, Alastair gasps, bringing his book higher and buring his face between the pages before screeching again.

"WHAT'S GOING OOON?"

Thomas snorts with wide eyes

"HE'S CHECKING FOR HENRY'S TEXTS!!!"

After a while, Alastair turns to Thomas, brushing his arm, "Are you liking it?"

He nods, "I like the fact that Henry uses capitals at the beginning of his texts while Alex doesn't, it's the little things."

During The Turkey Scene™️ Alastair just loses it and Thomas has to stop reading to calm him down

"Oh god Tom fucking finally-" he turns to Thomas, "Henry looks fucking rested for once."

Thomas nods again, "And Alex noticed."

That makes a wide grin spread over Alastair's face

Thomas understands he's reached the New Year's Eve when all he can hear from Alastair are gasps and curses

"NO. NONONO. NOO!" Alastair hits Thomas on the arm, "Alex just kissed Nora and Henry ran away."

Thomas smirks, "Just keep reading."

"THEY'RE KISSING. GOD YES. THEY'RE KISSING."

"NOOOOO!" Alastairs screams, "WHY DID HE LEAVE WTF?!?!"

"Thomas I'm breaking up with you if you don't tell me now this is gonna be fixed somehow in the next three pages."

Thomas just clicks his tongue, shaking his head

"Wha-" Alastair just huffs a laugh. He turns to Thomas, pointing to the book, "Baby have you read this? Alex is- He thinks he's what now?" He's straight up laughing now, "Straight?!"

"He did what with Liam?"

"This is literally the gayest shit I've ever read in my life."

"Nah ha, I don't believe it."

"How can he think he's straight?"

"Oh god they watched porn together- HE JERKED HIM OFF."

Alastair just hits his head against the headboard, "I didn't think I'd have to go through the who the fuck am I in this book. I THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY CLEAR JUST BY THE FACT THAT HE FUCKING CARESSED HENRY'S POSTERS."

"AND THEN THIS NEVERENDING LIST OF GAY THINGS."

Alastair panicked for a short time when Henry was seen with that blonde but started screeching again after a moment

Thomas bursts into laughter when he heard Alastair mutters God save the Queen

"'I want you on the bed.' OH JESUS CHRIST THOMAS IT'S US."

"Tom?"

Thomas turns when he hears the hesitancy in his boyfriend's voice. Alastair's face is red and he's biting his lower lip

"You okay? What part are you reading?"

"No, uhm," Alastair scratches his head, "can we -" he clears his voice, "Can we make out?"

Thomas blinks a couple of times, "Sure."

A heavy make out session ensues before they both can start reading again

"We need to buy cupcakes tomorrow." Alastair mutters at some point, chewing on his lip

"Thomas this fucking book is the best thing I've ever read. I'm loving it so much."

Alastair closes the book around midnight, but Thomas knows he's not finished. He doesn't look his way thinking he's just gonna go to the bathroom

When Thomas senses him move around on the sheets and lay his head on hip lap, he closes the book too and look down at his boyfriend

"What's going on? We just made out."

Alastair grunts in his legs and looks up at him, "You're my match."

Thomas doesn't understand, but he smiles and leans down to kiss him

He resumes reading and realises Alastair had read more than him when he reaches Alex's and Ellen's conversation about matches. Thomas looks at Alastair once again and pesters him with kisses

It's around 3am when Alastair starts yawning

"Alas, you should go to bed."

He shakes his head, "No, I'm not tired, I wanna finish the book."

"The book will be here tomorrow."

"I don't care."

He drops the fight, knowing perfectly fine that he'll never win this

Alastair can be quite impressive when he finds something he likes - especially when it's books

"Fucking homophobes."

"I'm gonna riot if somebody doesn't let Alex call Henry right the fuck now."

"HENRY ASKED ALEX IF HE IS OKAY? BABY WE'RE WORRIED ABOUT YOU."

The end of the book is read so fast that Thomas can't keep up with him and is now more than 20 pages back

Alastair is a crying and screaming mess by the end of it and Thomas has never seen him so upset in their time together

He's just spoiled the whole book for him, but he doesn't care. He doesn't care that it's now 5am and they have work in a couple of hours, cause Alastair just looks his way with wide eyes and his mouth open as if he's just realized something shocking

"Oh my god, did Pez, June and Nora had a threesome in that hotel room?"

tsc tag list (if you wanna be added or removed just send me an ask or dm me)

bold tags don’t work

@storysaremyreality @clara-sm @zoyalinas-nazyalensky @harryscameron @jamescordelias @grxceblqckthxrn @stitchkiss @ahiretsinging @allofmywonders @tremendousheadachecollector @tlh-tea @taco-taco-belle @city-of-fae @ifeelfreewithoutmyshoes @fclklcres @ghostlivvy @matthewwfairchildd  @abigneignenn @imherongraystairstrash @rednailpolishqueen @herondamnn @parababitch-herondale @silent-nerd @fairherondale @starryherondales @ireallyshouldsleeprn @sleeping-and-books @claralady @anne-reads @darkshadowqueensrule

[vintagedolan]

Post fic concept: beks having a nightmare and being scared to leave Indy and grays side 🥺

since everyone is soft for beks at all times, have this hehe

Indiana was awake. She didn’t want to be, but alas, she was. Having two babies kicking at her bladder at 3am was enough to get her out of bed, but when one of them turned and aimed for her ribs, it was enough to keep her out of it. 

“Girls. C’mon. Mama is tired,” she pleaded at a whisper, rubbing over her belly as she walked the dim halls. She hoped they would ease up soon so she could get back to bed before Grayson realized she was gone. 

Down the hall, a noise caught her ear.

It was quiet, a soft sound, but enough to make Indy’s heart pick up.

“Beks?” She raised her voice slightly, already starting down the hallway before she realized what she was hearing - the door handle, still hard for Bekah’s small hands to turn.

She got it open just as Indy got to it, and what she saw broke her heart. 

Her daughters cheeks were wet, eyes wide and fearful, and her chest was moving too fast as she hiccuped out a few small cries.

“Mama,” she whimpered. Indy dropped down to her knees as quickly as she could, her belly getting in her way as she pulled Beks to her. 

“I’m right here baby, what’s wrong? What happened?”

“I had a dweam that the monster man was in my closet and he came out and burned all my toys and-and-and then he tried to get me.” She barely stopped to suck in a breath as she spoke, her little frame shaking against Indy’s shoulder. 

The monster man was a casualty of Miles being in kindergarten and hearing stories from other kids, then bringing them home to Beks. He wasn’t trying to scare her, but even still, his stories took root in her imaginative little brain.

Indy realized that her daughters clothes were cold and wet, soaked through with sweat. It made her want to cry, the thought of her little girl so scared when she woke up alone in her room.

“You’re safe baby, I promise, mama will never let anything bad happen to you.”

“And neither will daddy, for the record.”

Grayson appeared down the hallway in just his boxers, hair pointing in ten different directions as he made his way down to his girls. Beks beelined for him, immediately reaching up for him. 

Indy was grateful he’d woken up - she wasn’t allowed to lift more than 25 pounds, and Beks was 35 now. But as soon as she was pressed against Grayson’s chest Indy could tell she felt safe and protected, and it brought her some peace.

Grayson frowned when he felt the wetness of her pajamas, kissing her forehead quickly to check for a fever.

“Daddy the monster man is back.”

“He is? No way. We told him he wasn’t allowed to come back!”

“He didn’t listen,” Beks sighed, resting her head against his shoulder. 

“Well, how about this. You and I can make some more monster spray tomorrow to make sure he doesn’t ever come back. How does that sound?”

“Otay.”

“Alrighty babe, let’s get you some new pajamas.” 

Grayson hadn’t moved one step down the hall before Beks was scrambling, clinging onto his neck even tighter than she had been.

“I don’t wanna! I don’t wanna go back to my room!”

It broke Grayson’s heart to hear the fear in her voice, and he immediately squeezed her back against him, Indy reaching out to soothe her with gentle rubs on her back. 

“Okay. We can wait until we spray for monsters, you can wear one of daddy’s shirts,” he said, turning around and heading for his room. He made quick work of finding an old one that would fit her like a massive gown while Indy stripped her down. She seemed to relax some with fresh clothes on, but there was still a hint of nerves in her eyes.

“Mama?”

“Yes baby.”

“Can I sleep with you and daddy and the babies?” 

She couldn’t have said no even if she wanted to. 

“Of course you can sweetheart. C’mon, let’s get cozy.”

Grayson watched as his girls climbed into bed, Beks fitting snugly in the middle of the mattress. He followed suit, climbing in his side and immediately pulling his daughter back against his chest, letting his arm rest over her small form - protecting her. His heart fluttered when she wrapped her arms around his forearm. It was quiet for a moment as they settled in until Beks spoke up. 

“Being a big girl is scary. I wanna be a baby.”

Grayson kissed her hair.

“Well, no matter how big you get, you’ll always be my baby girl.”

That was answer enough for her it seemed, and she rolled over into his chest like she used to, safe and warm with her parents until morning. 

The next day, all Beks could talk about when Indy got home from work was the ‘monster proofing’ they had done - the monster spray, she later learned, was diluted febreze in a spray bottle. But it did the trick, and Beks slept in her room again that night, while her parents cuddled up to each other in their own bed, secretly missing the feeling of the little body nuzzled up between them.  

[lesyah]

moshang childhood friends to lovers au pt. 4

Hello! here is a fic that was posted to my twitter. it has songs to go along with it from my twitter. If you’d like to look at the songs for each part, or just check out my twitter (where I have threadfics and other twitter fics not posted here), feel free to do so!

part 4 [age 18]

Shang Qinghua was absolutely losing his mind. He had definitely not spent enough time considering how long it would take to put together a comprehensive presentation on how to identify different kinds of rocks. He also definitely didn’t spend enough time trying to figure out what it was he really wanted to do. Mobei Jun wanted to do horticulture and Shang Qinghua did not want to do anything even close to horticulture. But he had no idea what he did want to do, so he had just went with biology. The school they went to had a good biology program, so it seemed only natural for them to attend together.

Shen Yuan ended up at a different school closer to home and was going for business. He insisted that staying close to home had nothing to do with Luo Binghe, Shang Qinghua! But alas. He remained close to Luo Binghe while he finished secondary school.

Because of this, Shang Qinghua really did only have Mobei Jun. Being in school had not helped him with his anxiety, or the loudness he sometimes felt. Mobei Jun had always helped that when they were growing up, but now it was intense enough that it didn’t really help as much as it used to. But maybe a part of that was the fact that Shang Qinghua was completely in love with him, and sometimes being near him brought on a different kind of anxiety.

Shang Qinghua now sat in the library. It stayed open late, thankfully, as if it knew Shang Qinghua was coming and that he would need to stay up until at least 3am to get his presentation completed. He stared at his petrology book and tried not to be too bitter about his poor choice for a geology fill. 

He was busy trying to focus up when a slightly cold hand brushed across his neck. He jerked so hard that he gave himself a muscle cramp in his leg. He looked up and saw Mobei Jun standing next to him. He squeezed his neck once, comfortingly, and held out a cup. It was a warm coffee.

Settling his heart into a different kind of fast-paced, Shang Qinghua reached out to take it. He smiled a little. “Hey. Thanks.”

Mobei Jun sat across from him and pulled out his own homework. 

“You have much work to do?” Shang Qinghua asked, taking a sip. It was warm and sweet, just like he liked it. He took another sip, scooting closer into the table.

“A little,” he said, pulling out a notebook and pen. “I have vocab to work on for a test tomorrow.”

Shang Qinghua stared at him from across the table, a little entranced by the way his long hair fell in wisps on the side of his face, falling from the loose bun at the back of his head. Shang Qinghua could look at him forever. 

Mobei Jun looked up when he noticed that Shang Qinghua wasn’t moving. “What?”

Shang Qinghua blinked a few times, definitely in a homework-induced haze. “Uh, nothing. Just. I’m glad you’re here.”

He rested the side of his head on a fist as he looked at him, a small smile on his lips. “Where else would I be?”

Shang Qinghua looked back down at his book to hide his flush. Everything was always more raw in the middle of the night. In the daylight, they were covered by a fog, where it was easy to behave like friends do. It was easier to joke and laugh and be casual. But at night like this, when the fog lifted, there was nothing but skin and bones between them. 

Mobei Jun watched Shang Qinghua across the room. He was speaking in a hushed voice, but he could hear everything that was being said. It was impossible not to, in the tiny dorm. Shang Qinghua was practically huddled in the corner, trying to become as small as possible. Mobei Jun ached to go over, to unfold him and reach into him to pull all of the bad things out.

“I can’t.” His voice was wearying, cracking down the middle.

Mobei Jun frowned, an urge to grab the phone and tell whoever it was who thought they could tell Shang Qinghua what to do exactly what he thought about that. But he didn’t even know what was being discussed.

Shang Qinghua’s voice did that thing, where he began to whisper, to hiss, to hide the face that it was too weak to speak normally. It was the voice he used when the fault line inside of him opened and he always fell through it. Mobei Jun wished he could catch him more often.

“You don’t understand,” he whispered. “You don’t understand,” he said again, gripping the phone so hard his fingers went white. “I wouldn’t even know where to begin. What to do. I can’t do it alone. I can’t.”

Mobei Jun couldn’t help it anymore. He stood up and stepped closer. What couldn’t Shang Qinghua do alone? What made him think he’d have to do anything alone? When he and Shang Qinghua had been together ever since—

“Mobei,” he said, turning to look up at him.

“What?” He whispered, trying not to let the other person hear him. “What’s going on?”

Shang Qinghua looked at him, eyes wide and teary. Mobei Jun took another step forward. He held up a hand and reached out. Mobei Jun grabbed it immediately and Shang Qinghua squeezed his hand. He turned his head away as he went back to the person on the phone. “Yes, he’s here. What did you think?”

Why was Mobei Jun involved in this conversation? He squeezed his hand back.

There was a buzzing that came from the phone, and it sounded just like all the other buzzes, but something about this buzz had Shang Qinghua freezing, had him shudder, had him cry. He abruptly hung up and tossed his phone away. He stood there for a long moment, still turned away from Mobei Jun. Without looking up, he spoke very softly. “I need to talk to you.”

Mobei Jun felt anxious. He tugged on him. “What is it? You can tell me anything, you know that.”

Shang Qinghua turned to him finally, but wouldn’t meet his gaze. He gripped onto his hand like he’d float away without it. He stared at his chest as he spoke. “I’ve given it some thought.” He swallowed. It was quiet between them as Mobei Jun waited. “I…”

“Tell me,” he said desperately.

“I’m not coming back to this school next semester. I’m going to transfer.”

Mobei Jun blinked, chest growing cold. “What?”

“I’m not happy here,” he whispered, like he was trying not to cry again. He still wouldn’t meet his gaze. “I think I want to study literature. They don’t have a literature program here.”

White noise erupted in Mobei Jun’s head. “So…So you’re transferring where?”

“There’s a good program where Shen Yuan goes to school. I’m going—I’m going there.”

“That’s hours away,” he whispered. 

“Yeah.”

“You aren’t happy here?” The with me was left unsaid. 

“No,” Shang Qinghua said, face finally scrunching up as he began to cry. “No, I’m not happy.”

It was only their first semester. They’d never been apart longer than two weeks. Now four years stared them in the face, large and heavy.

Mobei Jun swallowed, pressed his thumb into Shang Qinghua’s smaller palm, where it was soft and pliant beneath his. “Well…I want you to be happy. If that’s what will make you happy…then do it. I’d support you in anything.”

Shang Qinghua stepped into his chest. Mobei Jun wrapped his arms around him and stared over his head at the wall. Now it really did feel like Shang Qinghua was floating away.

[salty-fang]

Flowers

@daminette-december2019-2020

Marinette loved flowers. Everyone dear to her knew that. Obviously, she couldn’t always get flowers but if you needed a gift for her, flowers were the clear option.

Damian knew this, so every year, he’d buy her flowers and a gift on top. It’d always be a practical one like a roll of fabric or a jacket and mittens because of how easily she got sick. Her response always made his day, whether she’d try and return it to him, which he would never allow. Or, she would turn into a tomato on the spot. It was assuring yet amusing to say the least when he would check their commemorative photos and she would always have an exhausted yet flustered expression. No matter how much she whined, those were his favourite photos.

Damian had always been creative with the flowers he got. They had lovely scents, complemented her outfits or their colour signified something. Usually, he had gotten roses, Marinette’s favourite by far, that were yellow with petals that were tinged red. They always meant ‘we’re friends but I think I’m falling in love with you.’ That translated in Damian speak was, ‘you’re a reliable acquaintance but now you’re more tolerable’. If Marinette ever noticed his love, she didn’t comment. However, she was oblivious. Much like he was to his own feelings.

Damian knew when love was unrequited. At least, he thought he did. Marinette’s infatuation with Adrien had never been healthy yet she never realised. Even when it broke her heart to see Adrien fawn over other people of the human species, she’d still chase after him. Literally. And it was always up to him to pick up the pieces. Damian did it, knowing it would scar his heart deeper than each wound ran and yet, he was willing to endure the pain if it meant she was happy and smiling.

That had fuelled his competitive nature with Adrien. You see, Damian and Adrien were bitter rivals. They didn’t like each other; hell, Damian had destroyed him in an exhibition match when he first arrived. The day was still clear in his mind. Marinette had sided with Adrien and whilst he couldn’t pretend that that didn’t hurt, he fought with such fervour, such ferocity, that he forgot the pain. Momentarily. For days, he ignored Marinette. He let his phone go to voicemail, didn’t read her texts, brushed past her at school. He couldn’t speak to her. He couldn’t look at her and he knew he was being selfish but he needed some time.

It didn’t help his heart when he saw her face- tears in her eyes and a face like a lost puppy.

Although, he knew Adrien would deal with it. And deal with it he did. It shouldn’t have hurt to see Marinette in his arms, her eyes tinged red and her cheeks rouge. It really shouldn’t have. After all, everyone knew that Marinette was in love with Adrien. So, he really should have expected when they had their first kiss.

Or when they went on their first date.

Or when Marinette forgot about him. Forgot was a harsh verb but in the last two months, he’d only seen her twice. She had been too preoccupied with Adrien to notice her relationship with him was falling apart. The late 3am conversations stopped abruptly. There were no more flowers or elaborate gifts. He stuck to the bare minimum because he wanted -no- he needed to be selfish.

He needed time away from them. From her. It wasn’t as if he didn’t feel happy for her, that was far from what had happened but... was it selfish to love knowing it would never be returned? It was futile pondering over the ‘what ifs' but it was nice to let his mind wander. Longing never eased his predicament but it was a temporary relief.

One where he didn’t have to lock eyes with them and pretend that his shoes were more interesting. One where he wouldn’t have to walk in the opposite direction or take a longer route to avoid them. Or where he didn’t see the piteous glances and snide glares directed at him.

He wanted to feel content. Joyous that Marinette found someone that made her happy.

Which was why he needed to go back. Back to where everything made sense. Back to Gotham. He wasn’t important here anyway. Marinette wouldn’t miss him.

That was the first lie he told himself.

Hands stuffed in pockets and head low, he walked to school, knowing it would be the last time he would see it. He had been hoping to avoid anyone he knew but alas, the goddess of luck was against him. He could see Marinette sprinting towards him and as tempted as he was to run away, it just wasn’t worth the effort. Especially not today. So instead, he pulled himself farther into his hoodie, obscuring his face. His attempt to blend into the background had been foiled by the meddling girl that was Marinette. And that annoyed him.

This was the second lie he told himself.

Marinette had stuck to him like glue. The entire day, she was at his side. And the reason was bluntly obvious as to why that was. Adrien had been busy. Marinette wouldn’t tell anyone where he’d gone but it was pretty clear that he wasn’t at school. Damian was happy to have Marinette back but he would have preferred it under different circumstances. He didn’t want to act as an Adrien 2.0. He wanted Marinette to hang out with him because she wanted to see him. Not because her boyfriend wasn’t in.

Her actions had soured his mood and yet his heart ached for her. Today had probably meant nothing to her but it meant the world to him. It was an amazing way to go back home, carrying sweet memories of your best friend with you. The flight had been booked for tomorrow in the afternoon, giving him loads of time to pour his feelings into a letter for her. He needed the closure from his first love. Sure, he’d dated around, trying to find anything strong enough to drown his feelings. But they were never enough. Nothing ever was when she was around.

Which is why he had ordered a large bouquet of yellow roses. Yellow roses tinged red at the tips of the petals. If he was going to write her a letter, he needed to go back. Back to when he first fell. Fell completely in love.

The letter had come out better than he had expected. Short and precise yet he was oddly satisfied with how it turned out. The hardest part was how to get everything to Marinette without her responding. He already knew what her response would be. And he didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t want his heart to shatter. Not when it was already so broken. He knew that the best time to give it to her would be when she was asleep or working in the bakery which is why he went in the afternoon.

He loaded his luggage into a taxi-something so common that he would never have done before. Taking several deep breaths, he waited, watching his hand shake as he yanked open the door.

“Hey, Mrs Cheng.”

“Damian, what a lovely surprise. You must be here for Marinette?” A solemn nod was all the answer she needed. “Make your way upstairs. And call me Sabine.”

“Will do next time, Mrs Cheng.” He ran up the stairs, a small grin on his face as he knocked on her trapdoor. Giving it a few seconds, he knocked again before entering.

“I’ll just go.” He muttered, leaving the letter and bouquet on the stairwell. He turned on his heel, eyes shining as he tried desperately to compose himself. That was what Marinette had meant when she said that Adrien was “busy". They were too busy making out to notice his presence. Once again. He should have been used to it.

So, why did he feel like shit when he heard Marinette call after him? Or when he hopped into the taxi, knowing that she couldn’t catch up to him? Why did he feel like he was wrong? Like he was too clingy? He pushed her away. He grew too dependent on her being in his life. She could do whatever she wanted. She didn’t belong to him or anyone for that matter. If she was happy with Adrien, so be it.

It was his fault for being too slow.

Hisfaulthisfaulthisfaulthisfault.

The taxi was booked for the next two hours which gave him enough time to come to terms with everything. He’d finally see his family; he’d get to hold Titus and play with Alfred and feed Batcow. He’d be back on patrol for his vigilante duties and he would do a kick ass job at it. And there would be no more feelings. No more overwhelming emotions that had to be kept bottled up. No more feeling alone surrounded by people who didn’t understand him. But most of all, no more Marinette. And it hurt to think like that.

Marinette was relentless. That much he knew. So, he was expecting her to try and find him. Which is why he booked the flight at the most obscure airport. He locked eyes with her, seeing her dart towards him, letter in hand. She had still found him and as he watched her run, he felt his chest constrict. And not in the good way. Functioning purely on adrenaline, he ran, pushing her out of the way of the approaching car. He heard the desperate squeal of the tyres. The sound of the sirens.

Yet, the thing that was clearest to him was the guttural scream that ripped through Marinette’s throat.

And in that moment, he wanted to hold her hand, stroke her head, whisper comforting words to her. Anything that would help ease her sorrow. But all he could offer her was his shaking hand as he rubbed his finger against her knuckles.

“I want,” he coughed, spitting out the thick substance onto the ground. “I want you to forget about me. I’ll only cause you pain.”

That was his third and final lie before he was wheeled off into the back of an ambulance.

It took four hours for him to be pronounced dead.

It took a month for his funeral to happen.

It took a year for Marinette to stop blaming herself for his death.

It took her 70 years to forget about him.

Everyone dear to Marinette knew she hated flowers. The only ones she loved where the ones that Damian had given to her. And with her they remained, still upright as if someone had been trying to tell her that they were there.

There with her until she too died.

[cloudshapedpatch]

sing me a lullaby (don’t tell your boss what to do)

a super indulgent, tooth-rotting fluffy Julie and the Phantoms one shot.

julie can’t sleep so she goes to her boys for comfort. no plot. just sugar.

or! read on ao3 here

* * * *

Some nights, Julie could sleep like a rock. The band had found she was a surprisingly heavy sleeper, and could fall into a deep REM cycle within minutes. She was notorious for being able to fall asleep anywhere if she was tired enough. 

Tonight was not one of those nights. 

After many hours of tossing and turning, 3 relaxing YouTube videos and maybe a few too many melatonin gummies, Julie gave up on sleep. 

Her go-to solution to any problem nowadays was to see her boys, so without much thought, she slipped into her favorite funky monster slippers and made her way out the front door. 

The cold night air slapped her cheeks with a little alertness, and a little sense. If she went out to the studio, she was sure to stay up all night. Alas, it was still 2 in the morning, and her better judgement had set with the sun. She didn’t have anything really important to do tomorrow, right? 

She opened one of the studio doors and squinted against the lights, too bright in contrast to the darkness of the house.

“Jules! What are you doing up?” Reggie was the first to notice her arrival, standing up to guide her to the couch (giving up his own seat and opting to sit on the floor in front of her; she failed to notice in her fatigued state). 

“Couldn’t sleep,” Julie mumbled, rubbing her eyes. 

“Jeez, you’re shivering,” Luke was always quick to worry about her, “Why didn’t you grab a coat?” 

Alex had already taken off his pink sweatshirt and laid it in her lap before she could answer. As she slipped it on, she noted that while it was not warm like a living teen boy’s sweater should be, it was still warmer than she was expecting, and she was glad to have a little bit of extra heat. 

After having taken a couple of moments to recover from being outside (she’d admit, it was colder than she was expecting), she went to answer the boys’ questions, but giggled at the sight of them. Alex and Reggie had sat themselves down right at her feet and Luke was seated on the armchair next to her, all looking like curious puppies waiting for a treat. 

“Well??” They said at the same time, only filling Julie with more mirth. 

“Nothing, I just knew coming in here would make me feel better.”

As soon as the words left her mouth, she knew she should have changed her wording. Luke stood up and was demanding she tell him who hurt her feelings, Reggie had attached himself to her legs, resting his cheek on her bare knees comfortingly, and Alex was halfway out the door, saying he’d figure out how to make a cup of tea. 

A fit of giggles later, Julie explained she just couldn’t sleep and was doing fine emotionally. It was only after the boys had sat back down that Julie asked what they had been doing before. 

“Just a little bit of lyric writing. Can’t play with the melody until everyone leaves for the day tomorrow, but it works for us.” Luke shrugged, looking toward his abandoned notebook on the piano. 

“Ooh, let me help!” 

“Uhh…” Reg and Alex said together, in their usual harmonised way, looking anywhere but at her.

“Look, Julie,” Luke started, and she already knew what he was gonna say, “You got school in the morning. You shouldn’t be writing.”

“No no no, it’s fine! Writing will tire my brain out, you know?” They didn’t look convinced, so she continued, “My thoughts are running a mile a minute, let me get ‘em out on paper. Please?”

All three boys looked away from her then, mumbling about how difficult it was to say no when she pouted. Finally they gave in, and they led her to the piano to pore over the notebook. 

Of course, they only got a few lines down before Reggie was throwing wads of paper at Alex, and Julie played Never Gonna Give You Up as softly as she could while simultaneously keeping her laughter down (the boys were fascinated that she knew the song since it had come out when they were young, which prompted a short lesson on memes and Rick Rolling. Reggie was especially enthralled by this). 

Luke gave up writing and went to the dart board, where Julie had hopped off the piano bench and challenged him. Not being one to back down, he and Julie played while Reg and Alex cheered them on. Alex humored her while Reggie was convinced no one could beat Luke at darts. He was right, but Julie didn’t mind so much, especially after Julie got to over-exaggerate her pity party and receive a nice long hug from her opponent, sharing an amused look with Alex while Luke rocked them back and forth. 

“I could go for some nachos right now.”

“You always want nachos, Reg.”

“Again, Reginald?”

It took Julie a moment to think through his statement (hey, it was past 3am, she had brain fog to wade through). Ever since the night they opened at the Orpheum, the boys found they could do other small things besides touch Julie, like eat, and much to Reggie's delight, take showers. 

She just giggled and grabbed Reggie by the hand, starting the short trek to the house, knowing the other two would follow. For a moment, she had forgotten what she was wearing, but stepping back into the cold night reminded her. She had walked out of the house wearing her pajama shorts and a short-sleeved crop top, and she was drowning in Alex’s hoodie. Her face heated at the thought of all the boys seeing her in nearly nothing but the large pink sweatshirt, playing off the color in her cheeks as windchill.

But she should have known the boys wouldn't have behaved.

Because while nothing the boys said would be able to be heard by her father or brother, the results of their actions were definitely audible. Alex was trying to heat the queso, but he spent too much effort trying not to drop the jar that he forgot about the spoon, which clattered loudly to the ground. All four froze in terror until Luke burst into laughter because some cheese had splattered into Julie’s hair, and she replied by smudging some cheese onto his nose. And after the ensuing cheese-throwing war, the kitchen was not a pretty sight. The mere thought of her dad coming down to see his daughter covered in cheese, alone, in the middle of the night, in their equally messy kitchen brought shivers. She’d surely be back to seeing Dr. Turner three days a week. 

The boys did their best to clean, but mostly entertained Julie while she wiped up the mess and carried the plate of nachos back to the studio (how long does it take a band of three dead teen boys to make a plate of nachos? apparently, 38 minutes) before they flopped on the ground in a big pile. Julie laid with her head on Luke’s chest, who had his head on Alex’s lap. Reggie laid on Julie’s legs and she ran her hands through his surprisingly soft hair as they slowly worked through the plate. 

“Hey Julie? Will you sing me a lullaby?”

“Are you serious?” Julie turned her head slightly to see him more clearly. She almost laughed, but then saw the look in his eyes, and couldn’t tell if he was serious or about to tease her. “Luke, you guys don’t even sleep.”

“Aw, c’mon Jules,” Reg begged, “You have such a nice voice.”

“The voice of an angel.” Luke added. Julie pushed all thoughts of the song she never let herself write down, yet constantly played in her dreams, and hoped that they couldn’t see the flush creeping down her neck.

“Fine. But only because I love y’all.”

Alex wiggled excitedly from under her as she cleared her throat and started to sing A Thousand Years (Julie was sort of glad they had died 25 years ago. She would virtually never run out of new material to impress them with, and Christina Perri was a classic). At some point Alex had laid down too, and Reggie had closed his eyes as Julie kept scratching his scalp as she sang. Luke ran his fingers over her shoulder as if he were strumming his guitar. And everything was alright.

A large yawn took over Julie’s voice just as she finished the song.

“Alright, time for bed, little miss.” Alex joked, poking her tongue as her mouth opened in another yawn. 

She swatted his hand away yet made no effort to get up, instead choosing to nestle further into Luke’s neck. “Sorry, can’t, Reggie fell asleep on me.”

Reggie cracked one eye open. “Nice try. We don’t sleep, remember?” Reggie climbed off her and grabbed her hands, pulling her to a stand. 

The blood rushed from her head down to her toes, causing her vision to turn dark and her balance swayed. Before she could catch herself, Luke had scooped her up into his arms. 

“Come on boys. We got a girl to tuck in.”

“Yes sir.”

“At your service.”

Julie played off her wheeze as a snort of amusement, burying her face into her hands. A few moments passed and they didn’t move, so she peeked out from between her fingers, only to see all three boys looking over her like she was exactly what they asked for for their birthday.

She yelped in surprise which only caused the boys to laugh. Julie huffed and crossed her arms, pursing her lips to keep from smiling.

“Oh, lighten up, boss. We’re going now.”

And then he was smiling that smile that he usually reserved for when they were alone or on stage. She snorted (for real this time, but still in an effort to keep her composure) and poked his cheek. 

For the fourth time that night, the cold night air whipped at her legs and face as Luke and the boys carried her to her bedroom. Reggie made an offhand comment on how absurd it would look if Ray woke up and saw his daughter floating around the house, and Julie had to slap her hand to her mouth to keep from laughing aloud; the boys all laughing loudly without restraint didn’t help.

And finally, once they were in the safety of her bedroom, they did exactly what they said they would. Alex tucked the pink hood inside the sweater so she could lay on it more comfortably (“You look all cozy, you can sleep in it for tonight.”), Reggie pulled back the covers and fluffed the pillows. 

Julie felt like a princess, being pampered by these boys who had crashed into her life and nestled their way into her heart. Luke even laid her down, hand supporting her neck, and all three of them literally tucked her in. 

“Hey guys? Will you sing me a lullaby?”

They groaned, mumbling together about karma, payback, and song recommendations. Eventually they settled themselves on her bed and sang her a song she didn’t recognize, one that must have been vaguely popular in the 90’s. It was soothing, and she felt the tugs of sleep start to take her under.

She must have dozed off, because she awoke to some shuffling, opening her eyes to see the boys tip-toeing out of her room.

“Luke,” 

She hadn’t meant to say it out loud. She had been thinking of him (and the fuzzy lingerings of a dream lined the edges of her mind, one with Luke and a magical dance and that sweet smile of his). But all three boys stopped, before Alex pushed Reggie through the door with a wink.

“You okay? Need anything?”

Her words failed her, heart full and eyes nearly brimming with tears. She scooted over and pulled back the covers, patting the sheets next to her and avoiding his eyes.

Just like she knew he would, he made no comment but slid into the bed and let Julie resume her earlier position on his chest. With a flick of his wrist, he pulled the covers back over them both and wrapped his arms around her back, keeping her close. 

Idly, she noted how much she liked laying on the boys (and especially him) because they were the perfect cuddling temperature. Not too hot, but not cold. Plus, she reasoned with herself, if he was nervous, at least he wouldn’t overheat the bed. 

Wait. Nervousness. She was sure Luke could feel her pounding heart, beating like thunder against his too-quiet chest. He didn’t say anything, just rolled her curls between his fingers as they laid in comfortable silence. 

Her thoughts began to wander, instead of relishing in the moment like she longed to do, but thoughts of all the boys had done for her, not just tonight, but in all the months she had known them. 

And then his thumbs were running over her cheeks, whispering soothing words and lifting her face, locking their eyes. Her cheeks were wet. She must have started crying.

“Happy tears, don’t worry about it.” 

He looked back at her quizzically.

“I was just thinking about how grateful I am that you guys are in my life.” She bit back the ‘especially you’ that fought to escape.

“We’ll always be here, Julie. You’re okay. Just go to sleep. I’ll wake you around 6? You’ll need to take a shower.” Luke took his hands out of her hair to show her a bit of cheese he picked out. 

Julie covered a laugh again, resting her head back on his chest, relishing in his company and willingness to do whatever she asked. And she fell asleep, for real this time, with his fingers in her hair and soft hums pulling her into the best sleep she’d had in a while. 

And never had she felt happier than that morning, Luke softly singing her into consciousness while Reggie brought her a cup of hot coffee and Alex picking her outfit for the day. 

Bonus:

Julie came home from school later that day exhausted but overjoyed. Flynn had teased her endlessly, but she was too happy to care.

Like she did every day, she said hello to her family before going into the studio to do her homework.

But her brain short circuited as she opened the door and found all three boys jumping up from their seats to greet her, Luke wearing Alex’s pink hoodie. It was a little small for him around the arms, not leaving much to be imagined. Julie felt her eyes grow wide, her brows climbing higher, but unable to fix her face or look away.

Alex, never one to miss a cue, nodded his chin towards Luke. “He insisted on wearing it today cause it smelled like you.”

Luke sidestepped to him and whacked him with the back of his hand, but the message had been received. She’d think about that later. For now, she had math homework and a cuddle pile with her ghosts to continue. 

[onemerryjester]

Alright kids, time for me to PEACE thE qUIzNaK OUT before I’m bombarded with the new season and lots of screaming/spoilers. I’ll be back Friday night or Saturday morning (EST time) to live blog when I get a chance to watch s3. Please blacklist:   #vld s3 spoilers , and #lotorious / #lotorious crew (for Lotor and his band of lady generals) if you don’t want to be spoiled. 

Till then bitches !

[beckinblack61]

One Year of Daily Blogging?

I’m watching the Unus Annus livestream right now, (may they R.I.P. by the way, hope I don’t fall asleep before the the end of it all,) and Mark and Ethan have inspired me to commit to doing something for one year in hopes of personal growth and to prove to myself that I can finish things if I simply put my mind to them (because procrastination is a b***h.) So... I might try blogging daily/online journaling starting tonight?

I don’t know if this is going to stick, or if at the least that this will stay on tumblr and not migrate to either a physical journal or something else, but I hope this will. I only started my tumblr account merely days ago, and I’m still unaware of whether or not tumblr is truly “dead” or not, as many people have suggested. I was half expecting that the website wouldn’t even work, so there’s that.

I have no plans for this. This may devolve into extremely stupid, short posts that I only make to fulfill my goal of journaling daily, or maybe (hopefully) I take this more seriously. Either way, here goes nothing.

Here is my last-minute idea of writing down my possible goals for this endeavor:

Improving my writing, vocabulary, grammar, etc. (I might pursue a career in English, but who knows as I surely don’t.)

Learning about myself/recording my advances in figuring out my gender, sexuality, identity, and other cliché things to say.

Helping my sanity through expressing myself during this pandemic and presidential election mess (oh lovely America, what a time to be alive.)

Mimicking Veronica from The Heathers (the first musical I ever saw, albeit illegally uploaded to YouTube) and having a “diary” so-to-speak during my senior year of high school. Maybe one day I can look back on this and laugh or cry or both or neither.

… And now my clock reads midnight. Staying up until 3AM is probably not a great decision, given I have a bowling match tomorrow. It’s not until 1PM though, so I should have ample time to sleep in. Sleeping from 3-9AM results in around 6 hours of sleep, which should be alright (although I know I won’t fall asleep that fast; I never can.)

This might not be the only thing I commit to doing for a year, as I have a lot of other ideas, though this is likely the one I am most likely to stick to. I would like to draw daily. I used to draw far more than I do now, which I regret leaving behind. I used to post my attempts at what some would call art on Instagram, which I quickly abandoned. I would also like to stay more on track with reading, another thing I recently have fallen behind on. My collection of the BNHA manga is staring me down from my bookshelf out of the corner of my right eye, alongside my book one of the newly released Fangirl manga, which I need to read soon to lend to my best friend that I unapologetically got hooked on Rainbow Rowell.

Is this getting too long? Quite possibly so. But if I stop doing something I fear I will fall asleep and miss the end of Unus Annus, so I will continue.

Let me get some things off of my chest to start, as I plan on being brutally honest to myself here as an outlet and to help figure out myself more easily. I may or may not be doing so as also inspired by Symptoms of Being Human by Jeff Garvin. I highly recommend you read the book if you are in need of some new literature to feed on. That book likely opened my eyes to my own gender exploration.

But as I was saying, about getting things off of my chest. I currently identify as genderqueer, under the non-binary umbrella. I’m fairly unsure of my gender, and am open for it to continuously change, so I am inclined to refrain from labeling it. If I were to try and clarify further, I might go with demi-boy, genderfluid, or gray-gender. I think I lean more masculine than anything, though I’m not certain. I feel fairly unattached to the idea of gender for myself, personally. The lines are blurred for me as far as what it means to be a “boy” or a “girl”. (Side-note: I need an Unus Annus tattoo.)

Something that adds to this confusion is my sexuality, in an odd way. Is this TMI? I don’t know. No one is likely seeing this anyways. I’m either pansexual or bisexual, depending on your definition of either. I think I can love anyone of any gender identity, if I simply love them as a person. I may have a strong bias for men. And, I think I prefer the thought of a guy who refers to me with male pronouns? So who knows, I may be trans and also gay. Or entirely queer, both in the sense of sexuality and gender. I’m still figuring things out and may never will. Is that slightly terrifying? Yeah, maybe.

But, the catch is that I’m not out yet IRL. One person in my life, my best friend, knows I am pansexual. I’ve been considering telling them about being genderqueer and leaning masculine. I haven’t yet. I don’t know if I should bring it up yet? Because I don’t know my gender fully, I’m concerned about telling someone one thing and then deciding that I’m not that the next day. Is this technically imposter syndrome or something? I don’t know. I feel like I’ve heard somewhere that if you’re worried about not being trans, you’re likely trans as a comfortably cisgender person wouldn’t be worried about not being trans. Who knows if that’s true.

So. I’m genderqueer and bi/pan and in the closet basically about all of it to basically everyone. Lovely.

Also, as you could probably guess, Briar is a name I only recently chose to go by. Recently meaning in the past few days. I hope Briar leans masculine, though I’m unsure of whether it truly does or not. I just think it fits me better. I’m AFAB (assigned female at birth.) Only some of my social medias have received the name change: my Instagram, my Reddit, and my Pinterest. My Instagram technically hasn’t fully been changed yet, as I am currently locked from changing my name for 2 weeks for no reason, but my technical username has changed. I need to change my google account name, but, being tied to my YouTube, which my brother is subscribed to, I don’t want to set off any possible alarms just yet.

Why “BriarInBlack61″ then? Well, black is one of, if not my only, favorite color. It makes up the majority of my closet. (Yes, so originally edgy, I know.) The number 61 is in reference to what is arguably the best chapter of Carry On by Rainbow Rowell, another book I highly suggest you read. Carry On is likely my favorite book I’ve ever read. I adore Simon and Baz with all of my heart and am very curious as to what Anyway The Wind Blows brings.

Again, I apologize for the length of this post. Alas, it has only reached 1:19AM now. Should I retire this post?

I probably should, in hopes of leaving something to elaborate on tomorrow. Good day or good night to whoever has stumbled upon this book of a post. May I hopefully not fall to sleep before 3.

Sincerely, 

               Briar

Saturday, November 14, 2020, 1:26 AM