#it's 1am and i've been writing this all day i'd love to remember what I meant to put there so i can post this before bed 😅

[buckevantommy]

i wrote a 3000 word fixit fic where buck gets to say everything he wants to say to tommy and they get back together at the end. and there's a double spaced line between two paragraphs where i obviously left a gap needing s bit of narrative or dialogue to connect the two surrounding paragraphs and now i can't remember what i wanted to put there.. 😅🫠🫶

[cheolaholic]

ring of love; csc (01)

summary; agreeing to join vernon spectate an underground boxing match wasn't how you'd expect to spend your friday night. you also didn't expect to see seungcheol, someone you've lost contact with for years, become a part of the ring.

modern! au • boxer! au • hhu focused • multiple kinds of tropes • fluff, angst, smut

a/n; AND THE FIC IS OUT 💃🏻✨

ngl, i posted up the teaser at around 1am just to see how it'd go (was planning on deleting it right afterwards if nothing showed up). i woke up like 6 or 7 hours later and holy shit yall - i wasn't expecting it to get so much attention or blow up 😭 and it was just a TEASER 😭✋🏻 i've also gone through the small notes section of the taglist form (my favorite is the one that said they like my brain lol) either ways, i'm so glad you're all as excited as i am for this fic 🥹🫶🏻 it really means a lot to me <33

i'd also like to point out that i'm writing this fic as i go, kind of going with the flow, so, occasionally some things might not make sense but let's hope the flow goes well 🙏🏻

taglist at the end !

click here to join the taglist ♡

“hey there, babygirl,” vernon greeted as he took a seat in front of you at the library desk.

the nickname had you looking up from your laptop, shooting the boy a grimacing look.

“vernon, what the fuck?”

vernon chwe, an art major you had met on the first day of college during orientation, since both of you were in the same freshman group during said orientation.

you were entirely new to seoul, having spent most of your life in a small town in daegu (alongside your introverted nature, talking to new people while having to adjust to your new surroundings was basically an introvert’s nightmare).

when vernon approached you during one of the 30 minute breaks, he handed you a bottle of coke, a friendly gesture you appreciated a lot. that wasn’t what caught your eye though - it was his clothes. it’s not every day you’d see a college student wearing a bright neon tie-dyed shirt.

when vernon noticed your staring, he simply said “ah, yeah, the rest of my clothes are in the dryer. i’m vernon, by the way! vernon chwe!”

“...i’m ___,” came your response, “lee ___.”

from then on, you’ve both been stuck to each other like glue. always seen together to the point you both had been mistaken as a couple one too many times.

guess the saying of 'you're not real besties unless people think you're a couple' is true to an extent.

though you both have made it clear that the relationship between the two of you is strictly platonic.

the boy laughs at your reaction before shutting up as a few students shoot him a dirty look, a few others shushing him. “it’s fun messing with you, ___,” he said in a soft voice, not wanting to get on the nerves of the other students, “watcha working on?”

“just the usual presentation preparations,” you answered as you pushed back up your glasses and continued typing away.

“is this a group or solo project?”

“solo, which thank god. if this was a group and i had another bad luck on my groupmates, i was going to lose it.”

vernon cringes at the mention of groupmates. in your previous group assignment, you were stuck with not one, not two; but three parasites. he remembered how sleep deprived and stressed you were throughout the semester for said group project. he’d gotten you to submit an email to the lecturer in charge, writing out in extreme detail how you had to bear the responsibilities of the group members while they were out and about, partying, going out on dates etc.

however, you decided to go even further than just submitting an email.

it was the day of the presentation. as your lecturer sat in the front row seat alongside two other faculty members, you looked at your parasitic freeloading groupmates that were standing to your left.

“are you guys ready?” you asked in a quiet voice.

when they nodded their heads, you smiled as you pressed the clicker in your hand. anyone would have assumed your smile was that of an encouraging smile. you however, knew better.

as the first slide was projected onto the projection screen, the topic of the presentation was written in a big font while all four names of yours and your groupmates were written underneath it.

as you pressed on the clicker, one by one, the names of your groupmates began to be removed from the slide. the classroom was confused before catching on - you were calling out your group mates for being parasites.

your groupmates watched in a panic state as the students began whispering amongst themselves; the faculty members jotting things down on their clipboards.

once all the three names were removed with your name being the only one left on the slide, in a calm and collected voice, you said, “now, shall we begin the presentation?”

vernon remembered the proud expression you had when he met up with you the same day. “how’d it feel?” he asked, having helped you with your research and planned out the execution for the revelation of the free loaders.

“amazing!” came your reply with a beaming smile, satisfied.

“whatever happened to those three anyways?”

shrugging, you heard from some classmates that they had either gotten suspended or needed to retake the class. but, you didn’t care.

why would you?

if anything, you were glad you didn't have to deal with them for the rest of your studying years.

"hmm, fair enough," vernon responded before placing both arms on the table, leaning forward, "so, got any friday night plans?"

"if you're planning to drag me to a frat party-"

"not a frat party."

looking up from your laptop with an eyebrow raised, the boy just shoots you a smile - a smile that you can't help but feel suspicious of.

as you saved your work progress and shut down your laptop, vernon spoke again.

"have you heard of underground boxing?"

"i am not going to get in a boxing ring."

"you don't have to!"

once you've packed up your stuff and headed out of the library together, he explained more about the underground boxing.

it's a monthly event and is usually held somewhere in itaewon. when you mentioned that you didn't think vernon was the type to take part in these events, he replied with, "that's because i don't. a close friend of mine does and i usually go to support him with two other close friends!"

"and where do i play a part in this… support group?"

"don't hate me for this, okay? i just think that you could use some outdoor time, ya'know? i know you're introverted and want to hole up in your apartment the entire weekend, but it wouldn't hurt to try something new!"

you were silent for a moment.

"so, i'm a bore, is what you're getting at."

"what!? no! absolutely, not!"

when you let out a laugh at vernon's reaction, it had a few students around both of you stunned.

maybe it's due to your introverted nature that everyone assumed you'd be cold-natured too, black cat energy they call it.

but to vernon, he knew it wasn't the case. you just needed to be around the right people or in a setting you're familiar/comfortable with to be yourself.

'naturally introverted, selectively extroverted' as they called it.

"i'll go if you pick me up."

"does seven sound good to you?"

"yeap."

"aight, bet."

introverted ass: ik i should've asked this earlier

introverted ass: but is there like a dress code or smtg?

introverted ass: bcs i don't wanna show up looking extremely out of place

vrrnonie: casual should be okay

vrrnonie: maybe bring a jacket along

introverted ass: but it's a boxing match

introverted ass: wouldn't it be hot and stuffy from all that sweat

introverted ass: ?

vrrnonie: it's actually air conditioned, believe it or not

vrrnonie: and it's well ventilated too

vrrnonie: and there's not much people, dont worry

vrrnonie: the place can hold up to 100+ ppl

vrrnonie: but they usually only let in abt 70-ish?

vrrnonie: not wanting to be too stuffy, crowd control etc

introverted ass: so i'm assuming i can just wear my sweater and tights?

vrrnonie: yeapp

vrrnonie: reaching in 10 btw

introverted ass: wtf

vrrnonie: you can do your makeup in the car when we reach

vrrnonie: it doesn't start til 10pm so we can grab some dinner

introverted ass: again, wtf

vrrnonie: love ya bestie 😘

introverted ass: 🙄✋🏻

true to his word, vernon did show up ten minutes later at your apartment front door.

parking his mercedes-benz in one of the few empty spots, he then brought you to a diner he deemed to have the best burger in all of itaewon (of course that was after he let you finish doing your makeup, as he had promised you).

"so… how long have your friends been doing this whole underground boxing thing?" you asked, stabbing a few fries on a fork before shoving them into your mouth.

"oh, just one of them actually," vernon replied with his mouth half full of his beef burger. "wonwoo hyung acts as the manager while mingyu hyung and i are there as first aiders. occasionally, we'd help him train too. but, mingyu is the one he trains with since he works out more than i do."

"does this boxer friend of yours have a name?"

"i can't really say his actual name out here. but, his stage name is scoups!"

why does that stage name sound so familiar… you ponder.

it's now 1230am and you've been out way longer than you should be (technically, more like longer than you wanted).

by right, shou should now be on your bed, cuddled up in your blanket as you binge whatever series or movies are available on the many streaming platforms offered.

yet, here you are - in an underground boxing ring somewhere in itaewon all because your best friend had decided you should spend more time outside.

the match was nearing its final round and based on what you've heard from the people sitting beside you (vernon had left to go to the locker rooms where his friends were; but had assured you everyone is respectable and won't try anything weird. it didn't reassure you completely to be left alone in the crowd, but any kind of reassurance is acceptable at this point), it seems that the two final boxers would be JK and scoups.

(you had also taken a lot of toilet breaks due to the overwhelming feeling of being in a crowd for an extended period of time)

you still ask yourself why the name 'scoups' sound so familiar…

it was only when the loud cheers snapped you out of your thoughts, causing you to shift your focus onto the ring that you finally realise why that name sounded so familiar.

because right in that boxing ring, stood an old face you've been longing to see for years.

choi seungcheol.

taglist (i can't tag a few for some reason ㅠㅠ);

@yoonclip @1004luvangel @catjunhui @mystikha @spk93 @tinkerbell460 @yoozuku @dnylwoo @christinewithluv @limbomoon @plutoxxxworld @i-give-up-1234 @m1ngyuc0re @yunloyal @leclercloverbot @bettybeako @billboard-singer @ocyeanicc @krupyadoorrahe @seobinnieshi @xcynthiaaa @k411z @disneyprincesshuri @sunnyapp @khxsh @staygenezy @loufi8iepuff @ursweetener @noisypapergalaxy @wonwootakemyheart @sugainpinksweater @leah-rose03 @thisisnotthelastofus @yearnoclock

[dangerously-human]

Fanfic Writer Emoji Ask

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

💖 What made you start writing?

🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

🤯 What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

Shel my beloved, I love that I didn't even reblog that post and you still came in with all the best questions. You are a treasure.

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?

Listen. I'm glad that I wrote A Thousand Reasons (Continuum). It got me out of a years-long writing slump, which turned out to be a key piece of working through a depression relapse after weaning off meds and going through trauma at work. Parts of it are good! It is, however, sloppy, and it's perhaps my one work I just cannot reread. I was writing entirely by the seat of my pants, and hadn't written anything with a multichapter arc before, and I ended up rushing the timeline and pushing the characters OOC in spots that I kept feeling like I had to fix with the remainder of the story.

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

I still crack myself up with the bit in the middle of Woke Up in a Safe House Singing (L&Co) where Lockwood's going on about future plans and who'll have which room, including a potential nursery, when they're married, and Lucy just holds up her left hand to go "uhh... did you forget to ask me something?"

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

Oh, jeez. Probably Cupid's Bow (Marvel), lmao. Or maybe my super angsty AU-of-an-AU, A Thousand Shards of Glass (Continuum), which follows up on its super sweet and fluffy predecessor with the Major Character Death tag.

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

Ooh, okay, so I've had one song on loop for fic outlining purposes recently, but it's for a ~super secret~ songfic, so I shan't say. However, as a clue, it has definitely been in the sicko blend on a few occasions, and originally not from me...

🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

I usually do my best writing between 9pm and 1am, which is really only doable on a Friday night.

💖 What made you start writing?

I've been telling stories since before I can remember, even before I could really talk, according to my parents. My favorite activity as a kid was walking around outside for hours, bouncing a ball and telling myself stories, often with recurring worlds and characters. At some point, I realized I could maybe make a book out of some of those. But I'd already been writing little one-off stories, sometimes in tiny books I organized into a family library system. As for fanfiction... I think my high school friend group wrote fanfic, or at the very least talked about it and would print out faves and pass them around at school. Eventually I spent a free period in the library banging out a Supernatural fic on a school computer, and the rest is history...

🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?

It being finished, and a sense that I said what I meant to. Comments that talk about something I worked really hard on, whether that's a line or symbolism or a theme, certainly help as a gold star sticker.

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

Gosh, you tell me - I think readers tend to notice that more than we do as writers! Well, one thing I've noticed with my Lockwood & Co fanfic journey in particular is I keep coming back to Lucy and Lockwood's relationship as an image of sacramental marriage, even in the canon era, his leadership and the way they defend each other, possessiveness in the healthy sense, very "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine," and love as growth, as a verb, willing and acting for the beloved's greatest good. Partly this is a reflection of stuff I've been learning and thinking about a lot lately, and partly it's just very much there in canon and impossible to ignore (certainly when you read through a salt and light lens).

🤯 What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

Action, jeez - how do human bodies move again? And historical fiction. Sci-fi is easier, it doesn't have to match what's real.

[azrielgreen]

Hi Az!! I love your fics and I was just wondering, have you ever had to deal with being bullied in a fandom by people who don't like you? And if so, how did you deal with it and not let it zap all your motivation to write or be part of the fandom? This is a very specific question I know but I'd really appreciate any advice or thoughts you have 💗

Hi, thank you for this question, it's an important one.

I've been a part of fandom space for a long time, in many different fandoms. The bigger, more mainstream ones tend to be the most problematic. In the bigger ones, a frequent issue I see is people new to fandom overall, feeling a sense of ownership for the ship of choice/expression of content and gatekeeping it in an extremely hostile, ignorant way. As if they themselves are insecure about liking it and so, need to purify and control the manner in which the fandom is perceived, which is obviously impossible. I tend to think of people like this as fandom evangelicals. All fandoms have problems, unfortunately.

But in regards to bullying, yes I have experienced this in the past. There are always people who dislike me, and that's fine, that's great, I genuinely don't care these days, but I remember when I was younger, it was extremely upsetting to have people dogging me and aggressively just picking on me. I've left a couple of fandoms just for the peace of mind and it's part of the reason I orphan a lot of works.

Now, things are different. I always try to keep my distance from fandom drama and I make no judgements at all for what people enjoy, in fact I'll actively support and protect anyone's right to judgement-free enjoyment of harmless content consumption/creation.

But people can be complete cunts. So, here are some thing I do when the hate tide rises.

✨️ I tell myself it'll feel better tomorrow (it always does)

✨️ I'll take a break from socials, this helps a lot. Self care, nature, read over positive comments. Do things I love, write, plan, drink tea.

✨️ I try to remember that when I feel dread, anxiety or fear, it's a sign to get away from whatever it is that's making me feel this way. If you need to change usernames, or something to provide an air gap of space, give that a try, it's helped me a lot in the past.

✨️ outright telling people to go away has helped sometimes. Drawing attention to the behaviour has also helped.

✨️ you are a powerful creator. People are always jealous of power and critical of the shape it takes, especially in large fandoms. With the exception of personal vendetta, most of the hate I see within the spaces is down to immature people feeling overwhelmingly insecure about LIKING something that technically lands them in a fandom. Some people really need to do their shadow work.

✨️ things that help with my anxiety: somatic shaking, hyping up my own small successes, letting myself plan indulgently for future projects, reading rock-bottom angst-smut on ao3 at 1am, drinking more water, rose petal baths, the knowledge that things are absolutely going to get better and the equal knowledge that in a hundred years, this will be a distant archival footnote and all that matters is how we felt and how we made other people feel along the way.

💜💜💜

Az.

[appletreeduty]

a personal ramble while I have a single free moment in my day

hello tumblr. How are you. Listen I know it was my own fault for being away so long aside from random reblogs cos I knew how stressed and exhausted I'd be night after night after night taking a music job once again. Honestly glad I took it though, not just because I was needing $$$ but also because this shit genuinely makes me happy. the experience: Pass out in bed as soon as my head touches the pillow when I get home somewhere between 1am and 3am. Wake up go oh god oh god oh god oh god running around trying to get ready and get to work (worse if I'm traveling because I probably haven't packed until the morning of). Get to work go oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god. Maybe go out after with some work friends if there's the time or energy. Repeat.

the pros: Financial stability (sort of, but soon. the job pays). Finally living a fucking life and it's just hitting me now, 3 months in - I get to see my friends a lot more, get to travel, dating the tatted cutie of my dreams. Can finally afford the more expensive meds my endo actually recommends, and they're working way better than the generics I was on before. Doing something I love day in and day out. Working with people who actually watch out and care for you, working hard as hell but being given the time when burning out, even if it's just a moment. Ability to give myself little gremlin gifts - extensions, one of them foldable walking mats for my work desk, new tatties, a beginner violin to learn to play on. the cons: Stressed and exhausted, but at least it's not financial stress. Brain broken all the time. I feel like I've been neglecting a lot of my hobbies, especially writing and reading. Sleep schedule is completely fucked. Job feeds my workaholic tendencies and it's hard to shut my brain off when I'm off work. Having to work with known assholes in the industry sometimes.

It's really frustrating, when I think about it, that I've basically not created or consumed a piece of media that is not tangentially related to this job in months, and kind of gives me whiplash since ASOIAF and the ASOIAF fics I wrote really were basically my life for like the better part of a year before I got this job. I can't remember the last time I opened a doc for one of my WIPs, and I'm so behind on the fics I follow I've forgotten what they all are and/or what the plot of all of them is. When did I read an actual book last? Watch a movie or show? Don't ask me, I can't remember. When's the last time I felt like I HAD to write something? When's the last time I rode my bike? When's the last time I cooked? Don't get me wrong - I'm grateful for this job, it's sick as hell, but since I've had it it's like my entire free time has turned into IRL social life and I desperately miss my quiet time and online time. Am I addicted to being on my computer, Google Docs, and talking with mutuals? Probably. Maybe it's just the complete lifestyle change fucking with me. Maybe I'm not social enough for a job in this industry.

I should be happy with my life. But moments like these when I get a moment to reflect put so much doubt in my mind that I hate experiencing. Guess we'll see how it goes. S-P-R-I-T SPIRIT LET'S HEAR IT goblino

[cashtonwoah-blog]

Better Man // Part 2

Hey guys! Hope you liked the first part of Better Man, my newest fanfict for Ashton! I'm really enjoying writing this, and felt inspired recently as I have just returned from a holiday! Enjoy this second part.

Warnings: light smut, swearing, slight mention of controlling relationships.

****

"He called you cute?!" Camila squeeled with delight, as I recalled the events from earlier in the day.

I sighed, but smiled a little. For once Camila actually sounded invested in one of my guy stories.

"And then... His mate just walked off with him?!" she asked confused.

"Well, Luke his friend, and band mate, basically dragged him back to have a nap, he'd had so much to drink Cami" I scoffed.

"He's in a band?!" Ed gasped.

"Go Y/N! You've pulled! " Camila cheered, clapping.

"Comeon guys, I was just providing support. He was quite drunk so I bet he doesn't remember any of it". I chuckle, picking up my drink and heading back to the bar after finishing my break. I wasn't try to make a big deal out of the chat with the boy as it wasn't a big deal, but he was kinda cute. And it was nice that he felt comfortable talking to me.

****

"Lucky number 7, numero siete" I hear the entertainer Sami shout from the stage. Bingo was a very popular game in the hotel, especially as the old folk found it fun. I'd noted that the hotel was busier tonight, filled with all ages, which meant good business. I'd already had to stop 2 guys on a stag do from having more alcohol. I continued to make my favourite cocktail for a lady at the bar, Love On The Beach, which had vodka, strawberry flavouring with peach schnaps and a dash of lemonade. I presented the lady with the drink, to which she lightly clapped.

"Excuse me miss?" I hear a voice say at the bar. I turn around and see the curly haired boy, looking rather sleepy. His hair was messier than usual, and he was dressed in the same clothes are he had on 5 hours earlier. He rubbed his hand in the back of his head in an awkward fashion.

"Well hello rockstar, back for another drink?" I jokingly ask.

He smirks, sitting down at the bar, placing his head in the palm of his hands. I decide to make him a special drink. It was my first drink I learnt from Camila, a hangover cure! Orange juice, lemonade and a few other secret ingredients. I make the drink up, and place it in front of him.

"Please tell me there's no gin in this" he groans, lifting his head up from the bar table to inspect the drink.

I chuckle. "None what so ever sir".

He goes to give me a €10 note to pay for the drink. I wave my hand across my chest.

"No charge, its on me" I smile, pushing the drink closer towards him. He replies with a wide smile, I note his big ___ eyes, looking at me.

"Thanks Y/N" he replies, taking a sip. He subtlety moans.

"That's lovely".

"Enjoy... D'you know, I never got your name." I chuckle.

"Really? How rude of me." the boy laughs, offering me his hand.

"My names Ashton" he says, shaking my hand.

"So I wanted to apologise for earlier, I wasn't myself, and normally I'm not that much of a drinker like that" he said.

"It's okay, I've heard a lot worse stories over the past few months. I witnessed a divorce at this very bar, so you're good" I reply.

"Wow" is all his reply is. He takes another sip of the drink, followed by 2 headache tablets.

"Did you have some dinner?" I ask.

"Not yet, I'm waiting for Luke and Sierra and then we'll head out for the night" he replies.

"So is Luke a friend in your band?".

"Yup, he's the guitarist and vocalist, I'm the drummer" he says proudly.

"That's so cool!" I smile. As I attempt to find out more about Ashton, I hear a clicking of a finger and find a big old gentlemen trying to beckon me over to his side of the bar. I sigh.

"Excuse me Ashton" I say, walking to the gentlemen.

"Finally! I've been waiting for service for ages!" the old man moans.

"I do apologise sir, how may I help?" I reply awkwardly.

****

Its 1am, and the stag do have finally left the bar to head into the town centre for a night out. I sigh in relief, tidying up so I can close up and head home for the night. It was my day off tomorrow so I was looking forward to a lie in. I decided to start clearing the tables first, filling my tray with cocktail glasses. I hear a smash of glass, I turn around and see Margot by shattered glass.

I groan, heading over to her with a brush and pan. I smile at her, and let her get on with cleaning up the mess. She just shrugs at me, and proceeds to clean up. Throughout my shift, all I've thought about is Ashton, and how lovely he was. For the rest of the night before Luke and Sierra returned, we talked about lots in between me serving customers. We spoke about living in England, something both of us had done.

"Don't you miss home?" I questioned.

"Yeah, but the boys and I knew that we had to leave Aus a bit to try and get known musically. It was brilliant, living on our own, no rules, no nagging mums-" he says.

"No cleaning" I interrupted, laughing. He gives me a playful nudge at my comment.

"So did you live alone in England before moving here?" he asks.

"I actually lived with my Dad until he remarried, which became difficult to I decided to stay here for good!" I reply with a smile.

Ashton pouts. "But do you not miss home?" he asks.

"Not really. I have bad memories of home, with family and other people, so it was nice to start all over here again" I reply.

"I get it, like I miss home but so much has happened since I moved out and focused on the band" Ashton smiles.

****

I continued to clean the bar, and manage to finish around 2am. I sigh looking at my Apple Watch, noting the time. I head to reception to sign out, and am greeted by Ashton, sat on the chairs, like he was waiting for someone.

"Hey Rockstar" I smile tiredly, trying to hide my yawn.

"Hey Y/N, going home?" he asks.

"Yup, off tomorrow which will be nice".

Ashton looks somewhat disappointed. "Oh? So I won't see you tomorrow?" he replies, looking at the floor.

"Not at work nope, but if you're in the town or about maybe I'll say hey" I wink, confused at why he appeared so disappointed.

"That would be nice, Luke and Sierra were thinking of heading to the beach tomorrow, so maybe see you around" Ashton says.

"Well personally, I'd go to the one further down towards the airport. Its much nicer and better quality sand, if you get me. I head there with Cami and Ed often, it's nice" I smile.

"I take it Ed and Cami are mates?" he asks.

"Yup, Cami is a cleaner here at the hotel and Ed works on reception." I reply.

"That's cool, well maybe I'll say hey to them if I see them around, point out next time? He asks.

"Will do, enjoy your night Ashton" I smile, signing my name and walk towards the exit.

"Goodnight Y/N" he smiles at me, before walking away.

****

I couldn't sleep last night, which was weird for me. Normally, I'm out like a light, but last night was different. I had Ashton on my mind and I couldn't work out why. The way he smiled at me, made me laugh all night at the bar. The sparkle in his Hazel eyes got made me feel gooey.

I decided to get up, and head to the local Spar to get some food bits for the day. I parked my car in the car park, and headed into the store. I grabbed a roll, some Lays crisps and a bottle of Pepsi. I turned into the sweet section and overheard a woman with an American accent laughing.

"Luke! There here, come get the candy" she laughed, before walking into the same section as me. I stopped, and recognised the voice as Sierra, Luke's girlfriend.

"Oh hello" I warmly smile, continuing my shopping and placing some strawberry laces in my basket.

"Hey Y/N, Ash said you had a day off today!" Sierra says, grabbing the same bag of sweets.

"Do I hear my name?" I hear Ashton say, as he turns the corner into where we're stood. As soon as he sees me, his face lights up like a little boy in Christmas day. I playfully wave at him. He comes over.

"Hey Y/N, did you decide on a beach day too?" Ashton says.

"As a matter of fact I did! I take it you listened to my suggestion of this beach?" I say, pointing to the beach over the road from the shop.

"Ahhh so you recommend it... That explains a lot." Sierra winked at Ashton.

"Well it would be rude of us to not invite you along to sit with us for the day, if you wanted?" Sierra asks.

"That would be lovely, thank you. It's always nice to have some company on my days off" I reply, excited at the fact that I get to spend time with them, as they seemed like a good bunch of mates.

Ashton smiled over at me, beckoning me over to the sweet counter.

"Now Y/N, what other sweets should we get?" he asks.

****

"You're definitely cheating!" Ashton insists, pouting like a four year and throwing the cards onto the blanket.

I laugh, picking up the cards and start to reshuffle the deck. It's the 5th round of Rummy and Ashton had lost every single round.

"What can I say, I'm just too good for you" I wink playfully. Ashton rolls his eyes, poking my chest playfully. I watch Sierra and Luke, who are play wrestling on the beach. Its been good hanging out with the three of them for the day. They've spoken a lot about the band, Luke and Sierra's relationship and planning future holidays.

"They're cute together" I admire the couple dancing on the beach. I look over at Ashton, who is also looking at them.

"Yeah, they've been through a lot those guys, I love them lots" he smiles. "They've both been great friends to me, especially recently".

"Can I ask you, what actually happened with your ex?" I asked curiously, not wanted to upset him.

"Myself and Kay had been dating for 6 months, things were going well, but I found myself not being able to give her my full attention, with everything that was going well with 5SOS. She started to make me feel guilty for being away from her. I tried to make effort more, but in the end she wanted more than I could offer. I tried to end up several times, but each time she'd come up with a different excuse or reason not to. In the end I stupidly invited her on this holiday with Luke and Sierra to try and calm things down. Biggest mistake. She took it as a sign that we would be getting back together, but I kept saying to her that I just want to be friends. We sat down the other day and she ended up storming off. So... That's it" Ashton said, his head facing down the whole time.

I pause, taking it all it. "I'm so sorry, it must have been difficult." I reply, placing a reasurring hand on his back.

"It's okay. I just feel bad that she wanted more from me that I can offer. She knew my schedule. I just wish I could find someone that understands that" he sighs.

"I get you, like a no strings things?" I ask.

"Basically yeah, it's how things with her started, but then it clearly got more complicated. Feelings get mixed up. Sex turns into moving in. It went quickly." he says.

"I get that. My ex jumped ahead, its scary, especially if you aren't ready for it" I reply, sighing.

"You went through the same thing?" Ashton asks, looking at me.

I pause, preparing myself to tell the story.

"Yup, and it ended messy. We dated for 5 months. Started off as a hook up after meeting on Tinder, and somehow he turned it into a relationship. I basically felt forced into it, he kept saying 'it's the right thing' when in reality I didn't want it. He insisted on making it a serious relationship, meeting family and making it official on social media. When I tried to end it, all I'd get is abuse, calling me crazy and stupid. In the end I managed to leave him, but he ended up stalking me for weeks after. In the end I got a retraining order, and I've had no trouble since" I said.

Ashton sat and listened to my entire story in silence, nodding a little and sighing with me.

"Wow, you've been through a lot" he said.

"Yup, but then I look at how happy I am now, at my new job, making new friends and meeting new faces each and every day, it gives me so much happiness" I reply smiling. Ashton smiles at this comment, knowing that I'm hinting at him.

"That makes me happy to hear. I'm glad we met y'know Y/N, you're a lovely girl" Ashton says.

"Thanks Ash, I guess you're alright" I reply giving him a wink. He jokingly pushes me to the ground, and jokingly pins me down to the sand, holding both of my hands. We're both laughing, before it all goes quiet. I look deeply into his eyes, memerizing each part of his face. His cute dimples on his cheek, the crease in his lips. Realising what he was doing, all of a sudden he gets up and walks in a circle.

I pause, confused.

"Is everything okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, sorry, I shouldnt have done that" he replies worryingly.

"It's okay, we were only messing around. It was funny" I replied, shocked at how serious he was taking this.

"If you're sure, just don't wanna hurt you" he replies.

I laugh. "I'm a big girl Ash, I'll be okay" I laugh. He chuckles, rolling his eyes, before sitting back down on the picnic blanket again.

****

We get back to the Hotel, and I'm greeted by a beaming Camila, who introduces herself to Ashton, Sierra and Luke.

"Please excuse Miss Y/L/N, she's needed in a room urgently." she requests, dragging me arm away to room 263. She pulls me into the room, and I see Ed is already sat there patiently waiting, on the bed, legs and arms crossed.

"What in earth?" I whisper, realising that we're in a guests room.

"Oh don't worry they checked out an hour ago, no one new expected until later on" Cami reasurres me.

"So, spill some tea sis!!!" Ed chimes.

"Why didn't you tell us you were meeting up with the curly haired boy?!" Cami says.

"OK so his name is Ashton, and he's really sweet. We hung out with his friends at the beach, nothing special" I shrug.

"It looked pretty special to me, looked like a double date" Camila smirked. Ed clapped his hands at this.

"Ashton isn't really looking for... Anything... Or anyone for that matter... At the moment, so it definitely wasn't a date, just hanging out." I shrug, trying to contain my excitement that he was pretty cute.

"But still, he is cute girl, you gotta admit that" Camila said, smiling.

"Yeah, he is, I like him". I said, smiling and dancing around the room a little. Ed and Camila join in dancing with me, before we're interrupted by a knock. Camila forgot to shut the door behind her.

"You lot seem... Happy?" Ashton questions, seeing us all dancing. I can feel myself turning bright red, hoping that he didn't hear what I just said.

"Erm.. Yeah, just happy that it's the weekend!" Ed smiles, trying to cover our backs.

"Speaking of which, cool if I grab Y/N?" Ashton asks.

"You go ahead sweetie, we'll be just here". Camila grins from ear to ear, ushering Ed out of the room, and hide behind the corner so they can hear every word. I roll my eyes at this action.

Ashton chuckeled. "Your friends are funny".

"Yeah they're petty decent. Did you have a good day? I hope you liked the beach and that you liked the food also, because I really was worried tha-" I said.

"It was perfect, Y/N, thank you. Luke commented on how much of a great tour guide you were for us today. So thankyou. Plus you have a good eye for nice food!" Ashton smiles, lightly brushing his finger along my cheek. I can feel myself shudder at this light touch, making me legs feel like jelly.

"Speaking of food, to say thank you, I'd like to take you out for dinner tonight, just me and you. Is that okay?" Ashton asked.

I pause, shocked at his request.

"I-I would love to" is all I manage to reply.

"Great, it's a date" he winks, before walking off.

****

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 //

[xuseokgyu]

This might be the longest one yet.......... rip. i had some stories to tell.... :((

My job is to mostly to tell people when they make mistakes lmao. i work in document quality control ? for a manufacturing company, mostly check the inspection paperwork and certificates for the medical/surgical devices. and then have to be like this... is not right. fix this. currently have a lot of prototype parts going through which have some added requirements but also they keep changing the prints so then obviously the paperwork then changes and its just been annoying cuz its redo-ing a lot of paperwork.

yeah, that makes sense and that is part of it sometimes... i also think im just not in the mood for certain genres of music at times lol.

lol yeah it was so funny in the beginning she was watching some mv's and kept sending me screenshots of jeonghan with different hair styles with this message "who is this????" and every single time it was still jeonghan. i was just like lmao you should just assume that its jeonghan at this point. her defense was that he looks really different every time he changes his hair. she can recognize him now at least. the only other ones she can recognize currently are s.coups (her current favorite member overall) and vernon (her favorite rapper in their songs - she really like how vernon raps). shes more rap biased lol.

thank you.. you are only a little late lol my bday was the 11th. the last time i played bingo i spent $40 total over two days (80 games @ $0.50/game) and won zero. its a skill... i only got close to bingo (1 space away) like 3 times total. it was really tragic... at one point the lady sitting at the same table as us was just like wow... i haven't seen you even get three in a row since i've been here (which was like an hour).

We went to the same kindergarten, then i moved away and then i moved back in the 8th grade (i also have known the friend that is getting into svt for the same amount of time since she went to that same school, though her family are basically neighbors with my cousins family, and they are really close, so i saw her a lot more overall but wasn't super close to her until more recently actually, when we went to the same wedding (my cousin's) and starting talking again)

also to help this make more sense (as in why would they remember me lol) my graduating class size at that school was only 22 people, and my cousins also went to that same school. my dad went to that school, the english teacher there had taught my dad when he was in high school, its extreme small town vibes. people would literally just recognize what family i came from and just start talking to me. and i'd just be frantically trying to figure out who they were. like oh god oh god am i supposed to know who this is?? have i met this person before???

actually the wackiest thing is one of my friends from when i moved (big school), her grandma, i found out after we moved back to the small town, used to babysit my dad and her grandmas house was literally a mile down the street from us... you could see her grandmas house from our living room windows. i was just like what?? her cousins also then went to the same school as me. and then we fell out of touch but then ended up going to the same college. where she would be like "i saw you on campus today" and i was just like??? i did not see you, where are you? i haven't talked to you in like 3 years wtf?? i'm not in touch with her anymore but my younger sister is currently roommates with her younger sister in college lmao. oh other bizarre thing... one of my classmate's (from the big school) relatives bought the house we sold when i moved in kindergarten, and idk for some reason a few years after we moved we went back to the old house for something idk, and my classmate was visiting her family at my old house at the same time. we saw each other and we just stared at each other like what are you doing here?? we had moved like hour away (highway travel times) lol so it was just so random. (wow i hope these made sense lol)

the heat was worse in the beginning of summer i think... or i've just gotten used to it lol. there was all that smoke though that blew in from canada a bit ago though. but thats almost become a yearly thing now unfortunately. lol your weather sounds like how the weather is here sometimes - i live in minnesota, we are known for our wildly fluctuating weather. extreme highs and lows.

I love piano in music! I had to learn how to play piano as a kid... my grandma taught (most) of the grandchildren. i'm not very good at it tbh i never liked to practice and i havent played in years lol. we also learned how to play the piano/read sheet music when i went to the big school for music class for a year. I feel like if you are able to buy a little cheap or used keyboard it shouldn't be too hard to teach yourself if you wanted to start?? at least simple songs. I guess learning to read music would be the hardest place to start if you've never read sheet music before?? but thats what cheat sheets are for tbh. write the notes in, write them on the keys whatever works. we had a foldable note cheat sheet thing that went behind the keys and said the name of the note and where it was on the staff behind all the keys. when I was learning i'd be like b b b where is the b im looking for... ah here it is *ding* ok and now c ... c . c. ah ha *ding* and then repeat until you can play at a normal speed lol.

oh hands down its Oh My! best summer song lol i love Oh My! .... You Made My Day is also my fav album... what about you?

also what's ur favorite cold drink (#2)? picked this one cuz I have been buying myself bubble tea like once a week almost uhhh all summer lol the tapioca pearls at this place are so much better than other places i've been to and this place has cheese foam that i have also become obsessed with (tho thats very expensive its an extreme treat myself drink add-on lol) the blended mango with cheese foam... so good.... its like $7 though. today i got the normal mango milk tea which i hadn't had in a while cuz i'd been going through the various types of regular? milk tea (made with different types of black tea - i love black tea i have um a lot of tea i think i have like 15 different types rn). Otherwise I almost always have ginger ale in my fridge lol its great for a lot of things and also just to drink. love ginger ale... i just love ginger honestly.....

Is 1am and I should be sleeping but I wanna answer this before reveal day!!!

Best job description 😂😂 I feel like your job is one that can become automatic very easily so I can see how the changes can be annoying

SCoups and Vernon are definitely the ones with more distinctive faces, they were the ones I recognized better first, same for my father... he knows the names of all the members now but he still messes up the three Js hahah Jeonghan Joshua and Jun always take a while for him to recognize, sometimes Wonwoo too, which drives my sister crazy cause two of her three bias are there 😂😂

These small town vibes are so cool! I love that you have this community and managed to form long lasting friendships!! I basically had the same classmates for ten years and as soon as we graduated I lost touch... I made great friends at college tho The pandemic has been hard, we are respecting our health and haven’t seen each other personally since it all started, but I hope once we can meet again everything will go back to how it was between us

I had a situation sort of similar to yours at school too ahha My mom was and had already been a teacher (P.E.) at my school for years so all the staff and a looot of the older students knew who I was, but I had no idea who those people were hahah To this day almost everywhere we go together we will encounter some old student of hers...

Is so cool that your grandma did that! But I can see how it was more a task than something you truly wanted to do so you probably wouldn’t be very excited heheh I was part of a choir growing up and we had sheet music but our teacher never truly showed us how to read it, I know the basics but is literally like a toddler that just learned the alphabet hahah

Oh my! really is THE summer song I completely agree with you there!! I also absolutely loove the mv and whole comeback seemed really cool

Oohh I only had bubble tea once and I want to drink it again!! I only know of one place that sells it here, it is still a pretty new “concept” so there’s not a lot of shops around... And I never had ginger ale! I’m super curious about it cause I’ve heard it being mentioned in, like, tv series, but I don’t drink sodas so I don’t know if I would break my “diet” for a taste heheh My favorite cold drink is lemon iced tea, the ones we have here are really sweet and kinda “sparkling”? (I don’t know how to say it... is almost like a soda but not really 😅) Even during the winter, we drink it during weekends cause is a “special drink” hahahah not a Brazilian thing, just in my house