#it'd be really funny if the characters just kind of got together every run

[sunflowerhazel]

I'm super excited to get my hands on veilguard in general, but seeing as how I'm going to treat it as a kissing simulator, I'm genuinely so curious to know which npcs get together!

Like, did bioware just code for all the different grouping scenarios? Do characters get together randomly each run, or does each character have 2-3 close friends that they can date? And most importantly, will there be drama amongst them? If Bellara tells me she has a crush on Neve, and Neve tells me she likes Davrin, do I tell her what Bellara told me??? Or would Neve and Bellara be "locked" together in this scenario, if Rook isn't romancing either??

[beansnsoup]

Casual

Summary: Friends with benefits were not your cup of tea, but you accepted the offer anyway due to your buried feelings for your friend. You never thought of the day it would have to end because someone else would take her from you.

Relationship: Platonic (with some spice)

Character: Vi (Arcane)

Warnings: Sexual undertones, angst, fem reader, overthinking, arguing, being used???, lmk if there is anything else i should add

Part two

The phone on her bedside table rings as you lay there, completely disheveled. You knew who it was. At this point, you didn't even try to peek over her shoulder or tease her about a supposed lover.

Normally it'd be a running gag to joke about eachothers "crushes," but you couldn't even bring yourself to joke about the matter anymore and you're pretty sure she had gathered your lack of interest of the teasing now.

It's not that you didn't support her. And if you were being honest, you did more than just support her because here you were, very indecent in her bed.

Her name was Caitlyn, you knew absolutely nothing about her aside from the fact that Vi was completely smitten.

It was supposed to be you who Vi was obsessing over, but you were instead just a girl she just used to get off every now and then.

Not that you were complaining.

You were the one who told her it was okay in the first place.

But now that you were really thinking about it, you shouldn't have given her your consent for this little sacred love affair.

Before she had originally put the moves on you and proposed this relationship, you had already been growing strong feelings towards her.

The two of you had been friends for a long time, so you both knew the threats these "sleepovers" would have.

The both of you had been so close it had drawn everyone around you together, you were close to everyone in her life and it was the same with her for your friends and family.

They, of course, knew nothing about this, which surprised you. Considering the number of times you guys would sneak off during dinners.

You also didn't want to lose the bond you had with her sister, at the points where Vi wanted to be more of a "lover" than a friend, you would find yourself going to seek comfort with her younger sister.

To Vi, it was strictly out of boredom. She wouldn't tell you that to your face, but you could sense that was the start of her intentions.

Yet to you, it was purely out of love, each time left you in complete and utter bliss, and that you would never admit.

"Okay, see you soon, bye,"

You watch her get up from her side of the bed and start to get dressed, in entirely different and more presentable clothes than before.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm seeing someone."

You thought it was funny she still wouldn't call Caitlyn by her name when speaking about her to you, she knew fully you knew of her but still decided to keep that part of her life hidden, or as hidden as she could.

At this point, you thought the idea of secrecy gave Vi a sense of control, or it simply just got her going.

Either way, you hated it.

"So, you were just going to leave while I'm still here? Not even a goodbye?" You had a hint of sarcasm in your voice but meant every word.

"What? Did you want some premium aftercare or something? Besides, you practically live here, it wouldn't make a difference."

She had a point there, but you still felt disgusting in this situation,

"I'm not some kind of prostitute Vi! I'm tired of you using me then going to play the role of a loving girlfriend with Caitlyn!"

You could tell your words struck a nerve.

"You knew going into this it wouldn't mean anything, and I really like her!"

"Well, you've been talking to her for months now, and if you really like her as much as you say you do, this fling between us would have stopped as soon as you realized your feelings."

This was when Vi was left completely at a loss for words, you didn't care if she had feelings for you or not, but you were tired of being a toy to her, especially when she was in a whole other situationship.

You knew at some point you would have to share her, but you didn't want it to be like this. You also didn't want to be the reason another girls feelings for the same woman are put at risk.

"I love you Vi, but you really need to get a grip on reality and realize what is right in front of you."

You started to slip your clothes on, while she was still there, standing and questioning a million things at once.

"And at the moment, what is in front of you is me, like so many times before, might I add."

"By the way, if it wasn't clear, this," You gestured to the each of you, "is over."

To your surprise, she didn't even attempt to chase after you. Instead, you heard her put down her things and sit back down on her bed.

You never knew if she went to see Caitlyn or not that night, but either way, it didn't matter.

Everything between the two of you was over, even if you still loved her.

For now, it would just be you, sitting alone in your small apartment.

To your surprise, her sister was still keeping in touch, even though she didn't know the details of the situation she knew the two of you weren't talking to the eachother, so she made sure to keep in touch, just to keep everyone connected.

You also hadn't blocked Vi on anything. You just couldn't bring yourself to do it no matter how much she pained you.

You knew it would kill you to finally see a post launching a relationship, you would see it one way or another, but you'd hate to find out from someone else, so you just had to rip off the band aid one way or another.

It had been almost 3 weeks now since you made Vi aware on your standpoint of your relationship, and she has yet to reach out.

At this point, you had accepted the possibility she assumed you were a freak for considering your casual meet-ups could ever be anything more, or she just thought that you were clinically insane.

Just as you were about to retreat from your spot on the couch, you heard a ding come from your phone,

Speak of the devil.

You unlocked your phone to read out the full message that Vi had left for you,

"Can we please talk? In person. I made a big mistake and I need to see you."

You almost wanted to ask if this meeting would lead to her pinning you against her bed once more.

Again, not that you were complaining.

Yet in this situation, you wanted to be heard, not just for your moans, but for your care, and love for her.

All you could type in response was "ok." To which she replied with you to meet her at her apartment whenever you were ready to come over, because she'd be waiting for you.

A part of you regretted agreeing, but the other part of you knew this confrontation needed to happen.

I'm sorry I made vi see like a complete jerk in this guys, a teensy bit out of character tbh 😭😭

Part 2?? Idk yet, we will see 👀

[btr-rewatch]

Big Time Rush Season 1, Episode 1: "Big Time Audition" PART 1

Well, here we go! I'm super excited to be revisiting this show after so many years. I was so deep in the fandom back when the show was on, but it feels like going into it with a blank slate at this point. I have no idea what the fandom is like anymore and also forgot so many of the episodes. Ugh, I wish I could remember what my BTR blog from like 2011 used to be called (and if it even still exists; I might have deleted it). It'd be so cool to take a look at it.

I'm gonna try to just jump right in here. A few things first: I'll be pausing the episodes perodically as I watch in order to write up my posts on here, so it'll be a very "real-time" depiction of my experience, lol. Posts will also always be put under a "read more" on account of length.

Y'all the smile on my face at just the beginning few seconds of the episode. It brings me right back to 2009, watching the premiere with my sister. And I love how there's really no time wasted in making it loud and clear what each of the boys' roles are in the group and what their personalities are like.

Kendall's first line is literally a little motivational pep talk. He's trying to motivate them to do something that's going to get them into trouble, but still...it's in character. (btw, I will absolutely be focusing in on Kendall's character development—and my criticisms of it—as I move through the series)

Anyway, continuing on down the line: Logan counters Kendall's words with math, thus promptly labeling him as The Nerd of the group. Carlos jumps at the chance to cause some chaos (very Carlos. he was my favorite, btw) and James is just not paying attention to any of it. He's just standing there preening.

James is another one who changes a good deal from this first episode, I think. I mean, if I'm remembering correctly, he stays sort of self-absorbed and concerned with his looks, but not quite to THIS degree.

Also, the guys all work well together and fit, but I can't help but wonder how this group came together. It's such an oddball mixture of extreme personalities that you'd be hard-pressed to find in real life. In fact, if it were real life, they probably wouldn't be able to tolerate each other at all, let alone be friends. But that's the beauty of the show.

They do all eventually help Carlos turn the sprinklers on.

Troublemakers. Oh! And I spy plaid on Kendall. He wears plaid in like every episode, doesn't he? I remember that being a thing.

Logan's hair looks very dark. Was it dyed for this episode? I don't remember it being that dark.

I'm only ONE MINUTE into this episode. Yikes; these are going to be long posts, aren't they?

Yes, Carlos gives James the helmet right before they get pummeled by the mob of angry girls! Kendall knows James has to protect his face! Just a little over a minute in, and we have a leader of the group firmly established.

GUSTAVO AND KELLY!!!

I love him.

Meanwhile, the guys are nursing their injuries back at Kendall's house. It's so funny to me the way that Kendall seems to have the rest of them (mainly Carlos?) "trained" in a way? He tells Carlos to give James the helmet, and Carlos does do without hesitation. Then, when James starts dancing on the couch, all he has to do is say Carlos's name, and Carlos tackles James to the floor.

But when you've got a group of buddies like that, someone has to step up and take the reins, and that someone is Kendall Knight.

Look at these goofballs smiling as Carlos and James beat each other up.

The FLIP PHONES

Amazing. This show already kind of feels like a fun little time capsule.

I'd be remiss to not talk about this specific moment (when James and Carlos are throwing hands again) that I recall the fandom latching onto back in the day. As things start spiraling and glass starts flying, Logan simply calls Kendall's name, and Kendall immediately runs to Logan's side.

This is the point in which I probably start overanalyzing, but. Well, that's half the fun of this project, isn't it?

It speaks volumes about who Kendall is, what his role is in the group, and how the other three (especially Logan) look at him. Things are getting out of hand, and Logan is overwhelmed. So what does he do? Simply call for Kendall to take control and fix it. Because that's who Kendall is, right? He's Mr. Hold Everyone Together, Fix Everything All the Time, Carry the World on His Shoulders Guy.

I'll be delving more in that in future posts, I'm sure. Many thoughts.

Also, can we talk about how James and Carlos are just. Destroying Mrs. Knight's home?? Throwing things and about to hit each other with a lamp and a...whisk?? Is that what Carlos has? As a kid, I was like, "ahahaha, funny," but now I'm like, "I hope Mama Knight made those boys pay for every item they ever broke while in her house."

I was originally going to break this up into just 2 parts, but it's already pretty long, and I don't even know if anyone will read it, so I'm going to wrap it up right here for now. I'm sure once I get into the actual series, the posts will be shorter, but there's a lot of ground being laid in this episode, and I'm also still finding my footing on this blog.

Thanks to anyone who checks this out!

[nyxokal]

So I finished Stardust Crusaders

Geez I wish I'd typed one of these for PB and BT but wellp that's the privilege SC gets for giving me a lot to talk about anyways here we go long post ahead

So okay I dunno who knows this from Twitter but I've been livetweeting all of JJBA in this thread, or specifically from this tweet onwards if you wanna see the SC stuff. That outta the way I do have some Onions on this part

First of all I loved BT and I cradle it in my arms every time I think about it if that provides context but ANYWAY ON WITH THE SHOW HERE

What I liked

I loved!! The characters themselves!!! I loved the dynamics that the Crewsaders (I saw Sage use that term and I stole it lol) had together. In particular I've found myself to be really weak for the friendship between Polnareff and Kakyoin lmfao like. LIKE:

These two have a very very stupid relationship together that hooked me in the second I saw them do that stupid fucking handshake in the submarine. And tbh while the handling of Joseph could've done some work I looooooved getting to see him be stupid again even in his fuckin' what fifties? I love him

Kakyoin isn't really there all that much and is mostly The Smart Guy but he's earned my blorbofication also. Kakyoin is just fantastic. I like him a lot, and I think he had a lot of potential if he were explored more, but even as he stands in canon he's like [bathes him in slime] :) he's in his natural habitat

(Because you will subscribe to my headcanon that Kakyoin likes slime. He has slime bottles. What the fuck is Emerald Splash but some fucked up slime)

That said I don't quite understand jotakak tbh but I like it and I'm all for it

Jotaro's MO being gaslighting also made me die laughing when I realized that was exactly what he was doing. He really is Joseph's grandson

I also liked a lot of the villains. Hol Horse, obviously. Vanilla Ice was also kind of a "holy shit girl help" kind of deal and fun to watch, though I wish he'd been around for longer. I liked Pet Shop and N'Doul too. I also liked the concept of the killer baby lmao. And oh oh even though I didn't really like her I think Enyaba's arc was extremely fun and had potential to be really fucked up

I also liked the showdown against Dio a LOT. I thought it was real menacing and while it kind of fell apart at the end I think that was satisfying to watch, and I was DELIGHTED to see my babygirl return and eat an entire ham on stage. Also Kakyoin and Avdol are both totally alive and well :) I accept my downfall and join the copium gangs

(Iggy is on trial)

Also I had a running gag about the Crewsaders not getting to eat a meal for the entire show without it getting ruined or interrupted (this post kind of summarizes it) and I really do miss that little bit of stupid humour already

What I didn't like

Why the FUCK did Araki think it'd be a great idea to pad out the story with the ENTIRE arcana as villains showing up within the first half of the story. So many enemies got reduced to jokes, and then he brings in EVEN MORE enemies as Egyptian gods and it's like... see THOSE had interesting abilities, but I was so burnt out on wanting to get the plot moving already, damn it, that I didn't have that much fun. N'Doul and Pet Shop were fine. I liked what Anubis did, and then he got turned into a joke. The rest? Mostly also turned into jokes too. Whatever

I already detailed a lot of my issues here but to summarize that post Part 3 genuinely disappointed me with how much of a slog it was to get through. That combined with its tone being stuck between serious and funny until Araki comes in and goes like "Oh fuck the ending is here and I wasted all this time fucking around?? Uhhhh ok wait" then he kills Avdol and goes "haha TIME TO CRYYYY" as if that were gonna work. At least Kakyoin's death felt more gut-wrenching (haha ow) because the tone was already serious, but that's still a cop-out to me

Like Araki's writing at the end of SC literally feels like this image

Anyway.

And I bring up the tone issue because Hol Horse had this too. I mention it in the post but Hol Horse going from a serious scene with Dio like this

To shooting himself in the fucking head for a cheap joke

What, and pardon my Spanish, the absolute fuck was that. This extends to Dio too because--oh we beat him with a kick? Ok. He already did such a big deal out of sucking grandpa silly so now he's so powerful he literally turned Joker moment digging his own nails into his skull and he's a MADMAN and THREATENING and whoop we kick him and he goes poof like a piñata. Your huge villain, killed like a fly within seconds. Bro.

God. Anyway.

Unfortunately I also find that Polnareff is both a character I love and a character I hate. I loved the way he developed, his struggles, his friendships. Polnareff was for better or for worse the heart of the crew. I feel like he's the type of guy to genuinely ask everyone how they're doing and check in on their feelings whenever he's stopped being a piece of shit diva going woe is me and getting mad for being bullied by everyone. I like him for that

But Polnareff also takes up so much screentime... screentime that should've been devoted to other members of the cast. Kakyoin pulled a Caesar and got his shit explained the episode he DIED. Joseph got reduced to an old man joke and Hamon to a sidenote. Avdol got put on a bus for most of the show and died twice to save fucking Polnareff. And Iggy would've been interesting if he hadn't been a literal fart joke from the start of his stay

And Jotaro... bro Jotaro. I found him extremely compelling in the fight with Dio and the last few episodes where he revealed that gaslight gatekeep girlboss is his MO. I love that about him. I think he's fascinating for that. Nerves of steel but realizing he needs others to break before he does so he can do anything substantial. Cool as fuck. Ok now why did he get all this screentime and development in the second half while Polnareff was having an existential crisis about sacrifice and death and several episodes to himself

It's complicated. I love Polnareff. I hate Polnareff. Just.

Final thoughts

Part 3 is flawed. I can see where Araki improved as a writer and where he still needs polish, and I hope these issues get addressed in Part 4. But Part 3 is absolutely overhyped and I'm not that happy w it overall, and since I hear Part 5 absolutely fucks, I hope it lives up to that and I don't get swindled by the popularity hiding some glaring problems nobody seems to talk about when I mention it beforehand

Although to be fair, most of my issues with the show boil down to "why did we waste so much time" tbh. We spent so damn long frolicking in the sand making fart dick and bullying jokes I eventually stopped watching for a week just to calm down and prepare myself to waste more time. That hadn't happened to me, even with PB. It was a shock

I will eventually revisit Part 3 as I get a friend through this w me though, and we'll see if my thoughts change at all with the rewatch. For now though... thank fuck it's over (affectionate)

[cookinguptales]

I wonder if Guillermo's father never getting mentioned is going to end up on a "this family is all vampire hunters and your mother took you away bc she didn't want you involved in this" kind of subplot or what. I think it'd be really funny to have in-laws shenanigans! and it'd also mean Guillermo would have to choose the vampires over anyone else and any other life he could have. Again!

Ohhh, anon, I am so curious about Guillermo's dad. I think they're definitely setting up some uncomfortable realizations for him in s4. We know so little about Guillermo's family and childhood and even less about his father, but it's heavily implied that his dad was never there and that it wasn't a very happy childhood. I don't know if the guy is dead or just missing, but the door is definitely open for Guillermo to find out Family Secrets.

Like... there's the situation you brought up. Or maybe his father left home to be a vampire slayer and thought he couldn't do that with a wife and small child. Or maybe his dad died while vampire slaying (a fact that has been kept from Guillermo and possibly his mother) and the rest of the family hates vampires for it...

Or maybe Guillermo's adopted! I'm so stuck on that "real" family phrasing from SDCC. I think what makes a family "real" is going to be a major theme here, in fact. It's been a running theme in WWDITS for a while, but they're really doubling down on it in this season. I think Guillermo's going to have to choose what family means to him. Bio family? The family that raises you? The family you choose? A mixture of the three?

It's also so hard to know whether the rest of the family actively knows they're vampire slayers or not. I feel like it could be hysterical if they're like Guillermo in seasons one and two, just accidentally being deadly killing machines every time vampires come around. But the idea of a family of knowing vampire killers is also very cool.

And like... Guillermo had such a religious childhood and you can tell that was really hard for him. But Catholicism has always been kind of irrevocably tied to vampire slaying in western media, so maybe there was a greater purpose to all that. Maybe it was supposed to be protection, even if it's probably part of the reason why Guillermo rebelled in the first place...

There's that one line in The Casino, where Laszlo is talking about loving to fuck and being non-monogamous and Guillermo is like "Don't think that was the case with my parents." And when pressed on that, he starts talking about, presumably, realizing he was gay? Like his parents relationship being traditional seems to be highly tied to the fact that he had a hard time coming to terms with being gay as a child... Add to that the weird monster phase that most gay kids I knew (myself included, lmao) went through as teens when they were feeling "monstrous" and unaccepted by society? I wouldn't be surprised if his family, in trying to protect him, ended up alienating him so badly that he did the exact opposite of what they wanted.

I'm very interested in the two real pieces of knowledge we have about Guillermo in The Pine Barrens. The official press release says that Nadja has a girls' night while Guillermo reconnects with his family, but in that one interview with Natasia, she said that she and Harvey were going to stay home together while Matt and Kayvan ran off into the woods. (I do think it's endearing when they use the actors' real names when talking about their characters, lmao.)

So I can't help but wonder if Guillermo's going to be interacting with his family while also doing a girls' night. I can't imagine Nadja inviting humans to it on purpose, so perhaps something accidental...? Vampire slayers come to the house (or perhaps the club) to kill Nadja and Guillermo realizes they're his family? He invites a family member to see him at the house and it goes poorly? There are a lot of options here...

idk, got a lot of stuff floating around in my head. I'm really, really excited for that episode.

[hopefulstarfire]

For the OC emoji meme: 🌌 for everyone?

🌌 MILKY WAY - what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?

Kat: I think for Kat it came from the dynamics that I could see play out. I thought it'd be interesting for both her and Maddox for Max to have had someone looking out in his corner and know how much he loved Cecelia but still hold the mirror up in front of him and say "What are you doing?" I think some inspiration definitely also came with I love the ideas of past lives and connections between characters and also let's be honest the lines "I know my sister like I know my own mind, you will never find anyone as trusting or as kind / I love my sister more than anything in this life, I will choose her happiness over mine every time" was a big inspiration and that song is what I hear in Kat later confronting Max and finding out why he set up Duelist Kingdom. The first thing I know I decided about her was "She's SOUTHERN" bc look at Cecelia.

Maddox: Maddox came from a similar place but I think I also pulled inspiration from another oc I've kinda had to put to rest in a sense. He was my favorite oc for a long time and he had so much of my heart invested into his story but there was also a lot of Trauma surrounding when I wrote him and just. In trying to write him in recent years it would require me to go back to that place and I can't do it. So Maddox definitely takes some influence as a spiritual successor. I think the first thing I decided about him was the connection to the Magician of Black Chaos, bc it bugged me there wasn't a past life connected to him bc Atem really only used the God cards and also is more connected to like Black Luster Soldier.

Iris: I think Iris takes a lot of inspiration from some of my favorite snarky kinda goth resting bitch face characters 😂. I also wanted her to be the big sister and look after everyone. The fact that she's a nurse is probably the first thing I thought of on top of her connection to the Big 5.

Nana: So Nana very much started as a My Hero Academia oc. I crested her...God I wanna say 2019? Somewhere in there? And then over the pandemic my friends and I developed our my hero ocs together and fell in love with them. And then we got the fuck outta dodge with that series and none of us really feel like reading or watching the dumpster fire anymore it's too much. But we wanted to keep these ocs bc we literally invested so much work into them. So, Nana, my immediate thought there was "She's got the hair to be a Mutou and also it'd be so funny bc she's fucking 6'3 like fucking Legolas standing next to Frodo". The original inspiration with her was how I weaved her into that my hero fic and also like the sun and light and warmth.

The extended family members of my ocs all kinda just developed naturally as I developed Kat, Iris and Maddox. Though I will say Wes's inspiration is definitely Sam Elliot. I still picture him whenever I write Wes. I hear his voice. It's just Sam Elliot. And Chelsea was very much "I want a badass mom character".

There's also a running joke bw me and Kohaku that Mason is just "What if Valon was southern" and that happened on pure accident BUT

Thank you for the ask!!!! 💖

[bulgariansumo]

Galactimato Big Brother Week 1

Week 2 >

Yesterday, I plugged a bunch of my OCs into a Big Brother simulator. The link for my playthrough of the game will run out in 3 months, but the results were so funny that I wanted to archive them here and add some ~flavor~ with text and pictures!

The special thing about this simulator is that I could set how characters felt about themselves, others, and how well they do in certain challenges. Also, these relationships can change based on what happens in the game. This means everyone is surprisingly in-character.

Also, disclaimer, I've never actually watched Big Brother, so I'll be adding context for people like me who don't know what's going on.

Let the chaos begin!

Here's our beginning lineup. Say hi! There were only 14 slots, so I couldn't include everyone I wanted to, but with this format, I have a way to squeeze them in.

The premise of the game is that all the contestants live in a house together. I think they're competing for who gets to own it? I'm not entirely sure on the prize. The American audience gets one contestant to represent their choices (and I guess they can choose tasks?)

As you can see, the public chose Emil to represent them. And why wouldn't they? He's charming, down-to-Earth, and uniquely, he's mutually liked by all of the contestants. He's gonna to be something of a main character for this run.

This sounds all well and good, but in actuality, Emil's job is to vote off whoever America wants him to. He doesn't get a say in the matter. For better or worse, he's the audience's puppet.

...To be honest, I don't know what this means. It never comes up, but I wanted to put it here for completion's sake.

Every week, there is a challenge to decide who gets to be the Head of the Household (HoH.) This person decides the nominees for elimination and is immune from being eliminated.

I guess Emil's other job is to convince the HoH and other contestants who to get eliminated? I feel like the other contestants wouldn't be allowed to know that he's America's Player, either.

I imagine Nicky wouldn't have an easy time choosing who gets to go home. Let's see how he does it!

--

Nicky told everyone to get in a circle. He placed a bottle on the floor and spun it. The bottle landed on him.

"I guess I'm the first nominee."

"You're the HoH, kid," reminded the host, "you can't get eliminated."

"Ah, right!" Nicky spun again. It landed on a pair of contestants.

"Uhhh, I guess it's you two! Sorry!"

--

With that, Nicky chose the first two nominees, and America, its first target. While Nicky's choice was up to chance, Emil's first mission was a success.

Note: When I was running this simulation the first time, I got the choice to either pick who "America" wants to eliminate or let the AI decide that. I picked Aiden first by accident, but I feel like an audience would be against him anyway. He's grouchy and comes off as kind of a jerk ^^;

After the nominees are selected, they, the HoH, and three others (if available) compete get a chance to obtain the Power of Veto. The Power of Veto allows whoever has it to make the HoH replace one nominee with someone else. For this challenge, Roxie, Leon, and Maxy are the other three competitors.

Let's see how this comes into play in the Veto Ceremony!

--

"Why do you think you should be saved?" asked the host. "You. With the big 'ol eyes! Go first!"

"Me? Uhhh.. t-to be honest, I'm not really sure I have a good reason..." Angelo trailed off.

"...You sure about this?"

"I-I really can't think of anything. I'm sorry!"

The host scratched his stubble, turning to Aiden. "What about you, big guy?"

Aiden shrugged.

Tilting down his glasses, the host stared into the camera. "Kenji, are ya seein' this? Nobody's makin' any decisions! How's this gonna make the ratings?"

"Mr. Benji, we're on air."

"Right, right. Cut that in post." Benji adjusted his glasses. He slumped toward Roxie. "You. Pleeease tell me you have an opinion on something."

Roxie lifted a hand. "I choose to deliver salvation onto Muffinhead!"

"Wow, really?" This surprised Angelo. "Wait, aren't we nemeses?"

Roxie turned to Benji. "...Are we?"

"Not if it gets this show on the road!" Benji threw his cards in the air, ignoring the cameraman's pleads. "Nick. Choose someone to go in that kid's place!"

"Okay!" Nicky lifted his bottle. "Who's ready for another round of spin the bottle?"

--

Angelo is saved, and the final first nominees are chosen. Now it's Aiden vs. Lorenzo, which should be an interesting choice for Emil. Will he vote against his role model or his older brother? America will decide! Onto the votes!

The contestants decided and so did America. America wanted drama! Let's hear from some of the others before we check in with Emil!

--

The contestants sat in soundproof rooms to be interviewed.

Toni pressed his hands into his knees, straightening his posture. "Both of them scare me, but Aiden scares me more."

"I felt bad for not vetoing Aiden, so I voted for the captain!" explained a cheerful Roxie. "But now I feel bad for him toooo."

Jun fixed the bangs over their eye. "Sorry captain, but it'd be boring without Aiden."

"I'd like a roommate who doesn't sleep naked!" Leon laughed at his own statement.

Benji addressed the camera in another room. "Now let's check in with Emil! How ya doin', buddy?"

"Not good!" Emil answered, a strained smile on his face. "I do not wanna hafta explain this to Lorie."

"Hang in there, kid. It's just week one!"

--

Aiden is the first to be evicted. The audience wanted Lorenzo out, but sometimes things don't go as planned. Emil's probably simultaneously happy that his brother is still there while dreading what he must feel about this. But let's hear from Aiden for now!

--

"Aiden, any words you'd like to say to the audience? How do ya feel about bein' evicted first?" Benji offered the microphone to Aiden.

Aiden glared into the camera. "...I don't care."

"Haha, always good to keep on a tough face!"

--

And that concludes Week 1 of Galactimato Big Brother! If you read this, thank you! This is mostly entertaining to myself and I'd be surprised if more than two other people read down this far, but I'm having fun and that's what matters! I'll probably do one a day maybe? This is an experiment. We'll see how this goes.

[theangrypokemaniac]

Since no one cares about Alola I can therefore say what I want.

Team Rocket's Pokémon are all worthless toss. That's such a surprise from this oafish writing team.

Remember when Jessie and James had two each, to offer variety? Permitting them even that is too much focus nowadays.

We don't what anything interesting going on, thank you. Repetition is what we and they deserve.

Arbok, Weezing, Lickitung and Victreebel are spinning in their graves.

Stufful was missing for three years and she displayed not the slightest pang of concern until its belated invention. Given her temper she ought to have torn the island apart searching for her baby, but no.

Not bothered about Bewear. It shouldn't really be in this list as it didn't belong to them, although catching has no value anymore.

A bit thick are we? Or conforming to the usual parental standards?

Well, she's sufficiently neglectful that she let it out of her sight long enough for it to be crushed under a tree, then was too idle to come to the rescue. In consequence he was obliged to wait days until one of Lusamine's lackeys arrived.

She's 'Mama Bear' though, isn't she?

It's based on a red panda, is partly the colour of a black bear and as strong as a grizzly, but all that is a mere cover for its true nature as a Bear-Face Ham.

The modern pretence is that everyone's a vegetarian (are they balls), and Ursa Major lives on fruit, not, you know, flesh.

Just because it there's no hibernating in the tropics doesn't mean it can get by without a salmon now and again.

The name is stupid, since a red panda is not a bear. A play on words isn't clever if based on what it isn't.

They should've called her 'Pandamonia', or 'Pandour', which is a brutal soldier.

It is at least redeemed by battering the klepto cockroach into the next dimension. Good on 'er.

Mind you, this is Alola, a cesspit of incest, so it's probably some sick arrangement, like Bewear being slipped the length by that previously unmentioned Oakie-Dokie clone.

He's the spit of Jimmy Savile, thus every depravity is on the table.

Where's Stufful's dad? He buggered off too?

What kind of name is 'Stufful'? What's it made from, 'stifle' and 'suffocation'? 'Stuffed'?

Thanks for that. Whenever I see its ovine face I'm reminded of taxidermy.

Were Ursa Minor and Bewear described as mother and son, or were they 'friends'?

A series of games involving breeding and the 'anime' is too squeamish to even imply animals live in families.

I don't care either way for Stufful, but I'd like it better if its mouth wasn't a camel toe.

I understand it's a sea creature, and the contents of the oceans are their own brand of peculiarity, but looks like a limbless, undead spaniel plagued with extra teats. Its 'ears' resemble distended mammeries.

Hey, remember that interesting, original Pokémon James had called Victreebel? Let's do it again! And again! AND AGAIN!

Victreebel is a venus fly trap: an anomaly in nature as a carnivorous plant. It makes sense that the Pokémon version would be a bit more full-on in catching a meal.

New law: Team Rocket are required to collect monsters as ugly as themselves.

Hurting James was its personality quirk, particularly to it, fitting its nature, its 'thing'. It was never meant as a template for most of what he caught in the future.

Something is funny if it happens once, and can be now and again if done with a least a little flair.

Nothing repeated as a constant leaden thud is remotely amusing, but this is an unknown fact to Nintendo bone heads. They think certain events are utterly hilarious in themselves and require no finesse in application.

They have a checklist of moments obligatory to each episode, which explains the plodding lifelessness. Tick 'em off to keep the fans from being ticked off. All we supposedly care about is each gong struck, not how we got there.

At least Victreebel used to vary its behaviour:

Occasionally it even did as told without any chomping preamble.

It didn't do the exact same action every single time it was involved!

Mostly it swallowed James.

How long was it once Victreebel was chucked out on its leafy arse before Cacnea arrived?

Oh look, it's a Grass Pokémon and attacks James!

Sometimes it ate Jessie.

Carnivine got in on the action before Cacnea's run was even up: kick 'em when they're down why don't yer?

Oh look, it's a Grass Pokémon and attacks James!

Now we have Mareanie. Wasn't there a few in between? No, shush, they don't exist anymore.

Every bloody time it came out, it turned round and punctured him.

Every bloody time.

Ah, it's not a Grass Pokémon. That makes it totally new!

Oh yes, it's the complete opposite of Victreebel. It's Poison instead. Not like it at all.

Every bloody time it came out, it'd gnaw his head off.

Every bloody time.

That's endearing.

Oh but it is! It's just showing him love!

As that makes it alright!

If a muscular man squeezed his girlfriend so tightly he cracked her ribs, is that 'sweet' because he 'meant well' but his feelings overwhelmed him? Or is it A.B.H.?

Every bloody time it comes out, it injects James's head with toxin until it swells up into purple pustule of disease.

Every bloody time.

I never took Victreebel's assault as affection. To me they were real attempts to devour James, especially with the accompanying frenzied screech. Interpreting that as a positive emotion is bizarre to me.

At soon as James found it wedged in a Breeding Centre cage and opened the door it grabbed him, which appeared to be Victreebel lashing out in anger for what'd happened in the intervening period.

What Mareanie does is worse than the other three put together. At least they delivered mere bite marks or pinpricks, but it infects James!

Whole episodes of this programme have involved a Pokémon falling foul of Poison Powder and being on the verge of death, with all done to preserve it until Ash hunted down the cure, but now it's a big laugh, apparently.

Not one character ever has the wits about them to carry an Antidote, otherwise the writers wouldn't be able to fall back on the tired old race-against-time scenario, which is no such thing as we know they won't die.

Is it likely that James is always going to end up picking a violent Pokémon, of all the individuals of a race, of all the lifeforms in the universe?

Aren't his allowed to come with their own personality, or is there a set pattern they must follow, and when caught they absorb it, for fear they might be memorable?

Mind you, it's interesting the reactions these abuses provoke:

Victreebel eats James: Aw, it's so kyewt!

Cacnea impales James: Aw, it's so kyewt!

Carnivine chews James: Aw, it's so kyewt!

Mareanie poisons James: Aw, it's so kyewt!

Meowth claws James: Aw, it's so kyewt!

Jessie beats James: Aw, it's so kyewt!

Jessibelle whips James: EEVUL BITCH!!!

Mimikyu should be opposed for breaking it's own world.

To us, Pikachu is the most famous Pokémon, belonging to Ash, the protagonist, and the franchise's mascot.

To them, Pikachu is just another middling Pokémon hundreds of young Trainers catch, and holds no greater value.

It's blatantly a reference to Pikachu's real-life status, acknowledging itself as fiction. No Pokémon would hold the same significance for this design to work but him.

Otherwise why would Mimikyu, when it has the choice of every Pokémon that exists, and, if meant to be a believable world, every Pokémon we don't know exists, choose Pikachu to ape? Why wouldn't it pick a Legendary?

Alola Pikachu is looking off colour.

It's not even this specific Mimikyu, it's the entire species!

What, they work to a hive mind, incapable of individual tastes and opinions?

Do they all hate Pikachu too, even though the entire mouse population of Alola has been rounded up by that loon and trapped in a valley, or were we lumbered with the lone demented obsessive with a severe complex?

Is it well jel that Pikachu's a real one, whereas it can only manage to knock up a bog-standard costume with a face daubed by a chimp paralytic from scrumpy?

Well stop imitating it then! Invent your own design!

Oh come on. The animators can't even do that, hence its creation. You can hardly expect it to display inspiration if born from its absence.

I wonder if it hates Raichu. And Pichu. And Plusle and Minun. And the rest of the Pikachu derivatives, although it is one.

(As an aside, I don't know why Raichu, Marowak and Exeggutor were redrawn for this era, but not Pikachu, Cubone and Exeggcute. Why does the sweaty climate affect only evolutions?) 

Here's an idea: make Shiny Mimikyu have a different get up, not colour.

You can have that free, Game Freak. I'm too lenient with yer.

Presumably, Mimikyu hatches (already dead?) in all its eye-bleeding nastiness, and instinctively reaches for the discarded yellow bedsheet and pack of crayons that just so happens to be nearby, and the scissors to make the peep holes.

Them inbreds know how to litter.

Flippers?

Nah, it's probably hooks.

How is it born aware of a Pikachu's face, and why is it compelled to copy them?

Knowledge of his own ugliness is innate, thus he must cover his nakedness before it lays waste to the forest inhabitants.

Yet if you breed 'em, it emerges wearing it, like the cloth formed from left-over albumen and stained with yolk!

What's it reaching with? Paws?

Mittens?

Oh, and there was a deceased specimen in the series, so it's either a ghost, and nothing but bedsheet, or a zombie, and it's repulsive carcass has upped the ante by putrifying.

Even its name doesn't fit. Apart from the unsightly spelling, what's 'Mimikyu' about? It's not mimicking me.

Mimikyu? It should be Mimikchu!

And you know what? Even Nintendo agree their own inventions aren't good enough, because they made return almost impossible.

They hate these more than they do even the pre-Unova Pokémon, most of whom were condemned to a dark existence within the iron corridors of H.Q. and haven't been seen since.

• Growlie is such a beloved figure in James's life he's been involved all of twice.

• Dustox got pensioned off.

• James was practically bullied into gifting Cacnea to that cloying bitch Gardenia.

• Whilst he still tecnically owns Chimecho, it's as lost to him as any of them.

Remember Seviper, Yanmega, Carnivine and Mime Junior?

Hell, remember Woobat, Yamask, Frillish and Amoonguss?

Or Gourgeist and Inkay?

Of course, since the makers appear to have the Reverse-Midas Touch, Team Rocket still took that useless, wincing lump Wobbuffet to Galar instead of dumping it over the sea. Apparently we're stuck with it forever.

Arbok, Lickitung, Weezing and Victreebel got shafted, but THAT survives?

Yes? That's more the writers do. In current canon these Pokémon never lived at all. Dead memories in the haze.

[someday-becomes-somehow]

I went to Les Mis (west end) the other day and here's what I remember

(This is definitely not chronological)

When they first came onstage I was like "they look like children?" idk why

VibratoooOoOoOo

The guy who played the foreman had an actual abundance of hair

Lovely Ladies was a lot nicer because you could feel the real camaraderie between the girls

You know when Valjean smashes the chair so he can wave a leg menacingly at Javert? Imagine if they got the wrong chair and then someone sat on the one that breaks apart lolll

The Thenardiers were greattttttt (aren't they always?)

So Young Cosette was a white girl but Adult Cosette was black, and we LOVE colourblind casting but I think it took all of us newbies a second to realise who adult Cosette was (they were both great though!)

I love how the set tilts to make the barricade

Rotating stage!!

Lots of cute Les Amis lol

Irish Grantaire??

"Grantaire put the bottle down"

Why does Cosette sing sooo hiGH ?

That red flag bro

Gavroche made his own little red flag!

Every time I thought of Enjolras, I remembered that person who said their brother used to call trains "enjys"

Most of the slow motion was really effective, except for running in the first 3 seconds of Act 2 which looked kind of funny

When Enjolras and Marius grip each others arms like a handshake I was half expecting them to then pull them back and do a fistbump or something

In the Enjoltaire hug, R literally had his head tucked into Enj's neck??

Eponine was dying and when everyone turned to look I was like !!!!

Marius almost went to sleep curled up like a little kitten?!

Gavroche blanked for a couple of his "little people" lyrics but honestly no one minded because he was awesome

Also when he throws the bag up to Enjolras?? I'd be shite at that; it'd take me like 4 goes and then all the tension would be lost

I jumped a foot into the air every time there was a loud gunshot

Apparently there was a lady sitting on the table in the bit where the barricade falls and basically she made a chair fall onto her but also in slow motion

Javert's hair ribbon had untied itself near the end

I hadn't realised how many times lots of the themes/melodies come back; I bet it would make for a really cool analysis of why based on which characters are singing (music nerd over here)

I liked how they did Valjean carrying Marius through the sewers but it was almost comedic how it kept blacking out and then he was carrying him a different way on a different part of the stage

Javert's death was good but also he rolled across the stage at the end which was funny

When Les Amis lined up in "Empty Chairs" it really hit me that all of Marius' friends had been killed

All Les Amis had to be wedding guests and at least one of them was a terrible dancer

Also there was a drunk guy under the table at the wedding??

In the final song it was Valjean and Fantine and then a third voice, and I cried when I realised it was Eponine because I wasn't expecting it and just ughhh

It's odd how they do the individual bows without music? Is there no Playout except for when they all come together at the end?

So I didn't quite see, but Gavroche and Enjolras bow together and they did some sort of thing that my mind has decided was basically finger guns as they parted

Tl;dr -- it was really great, I need to see more live theatre!