#it’s. 45 thousand dollars. I’m.

[doctorweebmd]

also uh….real life update

my grant got funded

[luckykiwiii101]

Hello, I am writing to you as a 22-year-old girl who managed to enter the void on the night of May 17 and changed her whole life.

I started my void  challenge in December 2021. It was very difficult for me both physically and psychologically. Because I had an environment that was abusive and violent. And my conditions were very terrible. I had an exam that I couldn't win for 3 years, an alcoholic father who beat me, and a mother who never let up on it. I have lost a lot of things in my life in 3 years, but I have never given up on emptiness. If there are people who are still struggling with the gap, I hope my success story will be a motivation for you.

One morning when I woke up with failure again, I was feeling extremely unhappy and hopeless. But an incident at home during the day made me say, ‘That's enough, I'm going to fuck everything up tonight and wake up in a void.

When I wasn't feeling very sleepy- or even sleepy at all- I lay down on the bed. Because I'm afraid to fall asleep. In order of;

15 min Holotropic breathwork

20 min Silva method

10 min Alpha State meditation

After lying motionless for about 45 minutes, the brown noise started playing. It is very natural that there is a desire to move, to be overwhelmed,to give up in this part. Please continue for your dreams. When the brown noise was playing, I used a single affirmation. 

‘I'm simply deciding that I'm in a void.’

I can't remember how many times I repeated it. After a while, everything became quiet and I felt so peaceful for the first time in my life. I had a 30-page document and I said that everything in there would be manifested.

A day ago, when I had nothing, I now have a house on the Mediterranean coast, a black bmw ix car, a Harvard math degree, an online job where I earn 25 thousand dollars per month by working only 4 hours a day 4 days a week (Dollars are very valuable in the country where I live, and my salary is multiplied by about 30.), I have a beautiful face, body and skin. I also showed that I can ride horses professionally and draw pictures. I confirmed that the apple products, books, cosmetics and skin products in my wishlist are also in my house. I have also declared the person I will meet about 1 year from now and who will become the man of my dreams.

THIS IS AMAZING!!!! I’m so happy that you’re now living your dream life 💗

This is such a good example of showing people that they can truly do anything. Thank you for taking your time to share this 💗

[earth2rin]

thinking about…

satoru as a husband ᡣ𐭩

words: 1.3k

lazily, he slots himself on the couch, laying across the long piece of furniture, his feet dangling off the edge. he thought about how you would get upset that he dirtied the couch, but he would brush it off by telling you he’d buy you a whole new set.

just a minute.

he swore he closed his eyes for one second, only for 45 minutes to have passed by. when he had finally opened his eyes he remained on the couch, except you had weaseled your way to move his heavy head onto your lap, running your fingers through his snow-like hair.

“hi handsome” you smile down at him. he blinks and yawns. “i thought i heard the door open and when i finally came down to investigate here you are asleep” you giggle and slightly pinch his nose.

he crinkles it slightly and sends you a small smile. “ ‘m sorry baby, i could’ve sworn i closed my eyes for one second. but there’s nothing better than to wake up and see your pretty face” he reaches for the hand that's in his hair and lays gentle kisses from your wrist to your palm. internally you frowned, he looked exhausted and your heart ached a little when he winced from adjustung his head so he could look at you better. he worked so hard to provide, he worked so hard for you.

you smile brightly and place a kiss on his forehead, “you’re so sappy” and he chuckles, bringing your hand to cup his cheek.

“why don't we get you cleaned up, yeah?” he stares into your eyes, tender and warm but fatigue laced in his icy blue orbs, your gaze lingering on each other for just a second too long. he sighs and reluctantly gets up, leaving you and your warmth to make his way to the bathroom.

the tension in his muscles melts away when he feels the pelt of hot water grace his supple skin. he sighs, his head turned down with eyes close. he feels the ache in his body fade away until it resides as a slight ebb. it made him even more sleepy. after shampooing and lathering his body in soap, he turns the shower off, and steps in front of the steamy mirror.

he notices the growing dark under eye circles and slight stubble he's been neglecting recently. he notices the slight wrinkles that are growing prominent from the frequency of his frowning lately. he grimaces, turning around to flip off the light and closes the door.

his eyes are met with dim candle lights and incense burning, you're sitting prettily on your knees with a silky pink gown. “what's all this for pretty?” he feels his heart tightening, making his way towards you, his knees touching the edge of your bed.

“i wanted to do some skin care on you, you never take care of yourself toru” you look into his azure eyes as you pout.

how did he ever end up finding you.

he brings his hand to your face, gently thumbing your cheek, “i don’t focus on such frivolous things, i have to keep my girl safe and happy. you didn’t have to do all this for me baby.”

you stand up from the bed, grabbing both of satoru’s hands and speak to him, “i want to take care of you toru, you���re so good to me i need to return the gesture, it’s what my husband deserves.” he chuckles and brings his forehead to yours, “you don’t need to do anything for me. you don’t owe me anything either, everything i do for you is purely because i want to do it. all i do for you is the bare minimum, i should be doing more in fact!”

you pout again upset at how he discredits his actions. as if making you quit your job so you can stay at home stress free and spoiling you with love and thousand dollar shopping sprees is bare minimum. not to mention all the traveling you guys do when he spontaneously mentions that he’s taking you on vacation. “you do so much more than that and you know it. all i’m asking you for is to lay in bed and relax!” you shove his shoulder.

he finally flops on the bed with his hands behind his head, waiting for you to move. he wiggles his eyebrows at you which makes your eyes roll but makes you smile nonetheless.

“i like where this is going” he whistles at you as you straddle his lap, you lightly slap his arm. “get your mind out of the gutter. nothing is happening tonight just so we’re clear” he rolls his eyes and mumbles a ‘yeah yeah’.

you place a headband to hold his hair back and softly say, “okay close your eyes.” he complies, his white eyelashes fluttering shut. you carefully place 2 cool cucumbers on his eyes and he sighs. he feels like a puddle, your soft touch and home-like scent invading his senses sending him into a plane of euphoria. next you grab a clay mask and a brush, gently painting his face with the gray liquid.

“how’s it feel lovey?” he hums and sighs, leaning further into the fluffy feather filled pillows beneath his head. “feels wonderful baby” you giggle and continue putting on the mask. “okay toru, gonna leave that on for 15 minutes kay?” he nods but then his eyebrows furrow.

“what am i supposed to do?” he had never been able to take a moment and put everything on pause before, the thought of having to lay still and do nothing made him a bit antsy. after placing the container that held the liquid mask in, you turn to him, “just relax baby, would you like some water kind sir?” he hears the clink of glassware and the swish of water grow closer and he smiles.

gojo satoru had never ever been pampered. spoiled rotten maybe, but no one had ever taken care of him the way you are now. sure he was praised in the highest degree in the clan, and sure he was fawned over by a broad sea of girls, both young and old. but no one had ever cared about him so deeply that his well being was always a priority. he was amazed by the thought of you caring about him so much that you would go out of your way to take care of him in a way no one else had ever done. all he could think of at the moment was how incredibly kind your heart is and how he was so fortunate enough to have ever stumbled upon your life. he was so grateful that you let him into your life. he was so grateful for you.

“i would love some m’lady” you bring the straw to his puckered lips and he smiles.

after doing 2 face masks, eye patches, your own night time routine and plucking his eyebrows, satoru finally snuggled up to you, his face buried in your chest with his arms wrapped around your torso.

“thank you for taking care of me baby, you’re the best wife a man could have ever asked for” you giggle as he peppers kisses on your chest. “of course, i love loving you. it's so easy, like breathing.”

“i love being your husband. i love loving you.” you can hear the tiredness in his voice grow with each word he says. a couple seconds later his soft snores could be heard throughout the silence of your home.

[acowboynamedasa]

Ok I know I already made a post about watchertv and how it’s a horrible idea and no have not had a change of heart about that- but I really just want to get into the math of everything because like, they we’re making a LOT of money.

(Full disclosure this post has been edited to be more accurate with help from commenters)

Patreon: they have 12,000 supporters, but only 5,900 paying supporters (at the time of me checking today. Many definitely unsubscribed when this video dropped). The tear options are 5, 10, 25, and 100 dollars. Assuming that most people are in the 5-10 range, I’ll average it at about 7 dollars. Witch is 41,300 a month.

Merch sales: they have a very devout fan base that buys a lot of merch, they sell a plastic paper weight for 36 dollars. All of their hoodies are 80 dollars. Their shirts are 35-50 dollars. They sell a pack of 7 patches of their different show logos for 65 dollars. The posters are 80 dollars. To my knowledge They do not publicly share what they make from merch sales, but I know that they have sold out of certain styles, witch means that people are buying these. The merch is without a doubt at a very steep profit margin- no where in the world will it cost 80 or even 40 dollars to make these- so we can just assume that whatever assured total we come too, it will be higher by 10-20 thousand(just an estimate, I’m not an expert on YouTube merch).

Sponsorships: (this info is from moist critical who runs a company who specialize in setting up brand sponsorships with YouTube channels.) watcher is/was a very big and successful channel, with 2 minute sponsorships adds on every video I could find- they are with out a doubt making 20-30 thousand dollars from every one of those sponsorships. They post weekly, meaning they make about 100,000 a month from that. This doesn’t include any money they received from discount codes either, only about 2% of viewers use discount codes so it’s fair to say they receive a few thousand dollars from that, we can just total it to about 101,000 to be conservative.

views: YouTube has always been very hush hush about what they pay. Different YouTubers have stepped forward and said what they make on views alone but watcher is not one of these channels. With watchers average views being about 800,000 per video (very ‘about’, some get 3 million and others only reach 500,000) and YouTubes policy being about .018 cents per view we can say they comfortably make 14,400 per video, 57,000 a month.

Add cents: add cents and views are a different thing, for every add that is seen in a video you get a adicional .018 cents, watchers content is very monetizable, and with it being long form content 30-45 minutes, they have a lot of adds. Let’s just assume 1-2 mid roll ads on every video and that’s an additional 20,000 per video, 80,000 a month.

Adding ALL of that together

Watcher makes 279,300 dollars a month. Flat out, no merch added.

If you think you can’t afford to pay 25 people a month with 279,300 dollars- I literally don’t know what to tell you.

[bambi-slxt]

🤍𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 ~ 𝐩𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞🤍

𝕔𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕡𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕤𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕠𝕝𝕠 𝕩 𝕗𝕖𝕞

word count: 1.3k

genres/tropes: romance, dealer!chris, sturniolo au, slow burn, strangers to friends to lovers

teaser: here

pt. one: here / pt. two: here

warnings: drug usage, alcohol consumption, guns mentioned and used (non-sexual context), smut, mature themes and topics

notes from bambi: this is a multi-part series, and updates will be sporadic.

Christopher's POV:

Nicolas called me for the fourth time in a row. Picking up with a sigh, I barely managed to get three words out before he began his royal tirade. “You handed four thousand dollars to a perfect stranger, Christopher. How does that fucking constitute ‘laying low’? She’s going to tell every single person she knows, and where will that leave us?”

“Death row, probably,” I deadpanned, nosing through a bowl of sweets with my finger. “Do you like dark chocolate?”

“I may seriously kill you and hang your body parts off the ‘HOLLYWOOD’ sign. Why do I have to find out these things from the finance department asking me if “we were sure we wanted to make that kind of deposit”? The device in your hand is incredibly useful for all sorts of almost-instantaneous communication across any distance, and I’ll have you know-”

“We should order a pizza for the office tomorrow. You think they’re pepperoni people?”

He answered after a long-suffering sigh. “Of course they’re peperoni people, Christopher.”

“Perfect. Thank you, Nicolas,” I hummed, grateful for more than just his crowd-sourced opinions.

“I’m taking an Advil and several melatonin,” he snarled at me. “Goodnight.”

A black sedan slowed to a stop at the curb outside as my eldest brother so graciously hung up on me. A quick glance at my phone revealed both the time (3:22am) and an email containing this week’s shipping manifest–Matthew can give it a once-over on the way.

Returning the doorman’s nod, I stepped out of the hotel lobby, through a warm, moon-filled breeze, and into the backseat of the unassuming vehicle.

“Did you get the-”

“Yes,” I said, handing my device to Matthew, who lounged in the seat opposite mine. 

“...Hong Kong is in error,” he murmured. I nodded absentmindedly, letting him work through the tables. Matthew had his methods and so far, he’d never once led us astray. The minutes passed in silence as Los Angeles melted around us, cars and shadowed palm trees and people drifting by at 45+ miles an hour.

“Why were you at the hotel?” he asked after a while.

“Met someone,” I replied evenly.

“You gonna meet her again?”

“Unlikely.”

“If you get herpes because you can’t keep it in your pants,” Matthew said, never once looking up from the manifest, “I will point and laugh.”

Our driver chuckled up front.

“What is this, amateur hour?” I snarked.

“How was she, sir?” our driver asked with a glance in the rearview mirror.

My thoughts settled on the woman from the night before, and the evening we’d shared.

“Oh, Owen, faster, faster!” she squealed, jutting her ass into my pelvis. I regretted giving her my middle name in the name of safety and secrecy–who the fuck can seriously scream ‘Owen’ during sex? Then I remembered I was having sex, which usually is a two-person affair, and I should probably focus, but I shouldn’t have worried–she was done. I waited politely for her body to finish twitching before I lowered myself onto the mattress. “That was so…oh god…” she panted.

“Thank you,” I said, granting her a half-smile. 

“You mind if I shower?”

“Go right ahead.”

As the water wished down the drain, muffled through the bathroom door, I stared at the ceiling. What was wrong with me? Normally I enjoyed sex quite a bit–the animal nature of it, base human desires brought to the surface, expression of self and pleasure through the movement of the body–but it seemed I’d outgrown such things. Outgrown may not have been the right word. I felt confused and exhausted.

As I drifted asleep, I wondered briefly about the bottle girl from the nightclub. I hoped Miss Cassie made it home alright.

“A gentleman never tells,” I replied. 

Matthew handed my phone back to me. “We’ll need to call Lee tomorrow about the reports issue but otherwise we’re good for this week. Not a lot of product coming in anyway, most is export and that’s on Nicolas.”

I glanced at him, mouth tilted. “You worry about you. I’ll worry about Nicolas.”

The car slowed to a halt in front of the estate, and I stepped out with a sigh. “Thank you sir,” I said to the driver, who nodded back at me.

“We’ll be just a minute.”

Matthew followed me up the drive to the front steps. “Why’d you pay that girl so much?”

“Hm?”

“The girl from last night, Callie? Camryn? Cornucopia?”

“Cassandra,” I chuckled. “And I haven’t paid her yet.”

Matthew closed the heavy oak door behind us. “That’s not what Nicolas said.”

Word sure travels fast around here, I thought with a scowl. “Would you two please quit gossipping? It’s annoying.”

“You can be annoyed, I just want to know what warranted four thousand dollars.” Matthew took a cigarette from his pocket, fishing around for his lighter. “That’s a hell of a bathroom blowjob.”

Music thumped through the ornate–and frankly ostentatious–house. Wonder why nobody’s downstairs. “It wasn’t a blowjob. We just talked, you dickhead.”

Matthew snorted and lit his cigarette. “Whatever you say, Christopher.”

A man rounded the nearest corner, his eyes a dull red and his nose powdery white. “Heyyy, pretty boy,” he slurred.

“Dennis Johnson?” Matthew asked conversationally, letting his cigarette hang from his lips and dropping a hand into his coat pocket.

“Thas’ me, alright…Who’s askin’?”

Matthew whipped out his pistol and shot the man where he stood, watching him fall to a heap on the now-blood-spattered marble floor.

“So messy,” I sighed, retrieving my own handgun and making my way up the stairs. “Let’s make this quick please, I’d rather not bother our brothers-in-blue.”

“Really?” my brother said with a wry, blood-freckled smile. “Simple favor for the local sheriff, huh?”

I returned his grin. “Something like that. Let’s light the place.”

Cassandra's POV:

“-a violent shooting earlier this morning, estimated to have occurred between three and four a.m. raises questions in the minds of many-” The newswoman droned on as I ate my cereal, curled tightly underneath my mom’s blanket. 

“Cass, honey?”

“Yes ma’am,” I called.

“Can I come in?”

Putting my bowl down on the nightstand, I clicked the tv off. “Sure.”

My mom fit the worrying mother trope to a T, so her concern about my job at the nightclub shocked me very little. Still, I let her sit on my bed and ramble–something about it soothed her, I think. 

“-and I just worry because, you know, there’s a lot that goes on in those kinds of establishments, and I-”

“I know, Mom,” I said. I put my hand on her arm and took a deep breath. “But…I got a massive tip last night.”

She tilted her head questioningly. “How much?”

“A little over four thousand dollars, Mom.”

She choked and clutched her chest. “What the heck?”

I broke out into a laugh. “Mom!” She never used such language!

“What…How…”

I told her everything–Christopher, the drink, the bathroom–and after a long moment of quiet, she nodded. “You keep yourself safe, Cassandra.”

“I will Mom. But hey! We don’t need to worry about bills this month!”

She tutted and shook her head as she tucked her blanket underneath my toes. “You should save it, baby. Invest in something, let it grow.”

“Or,” I replied, taking another bite of my soggy cereal, “We can go get our nails done and afford name-brand groceries.”

My mom smiled from the doorway. “Put it in the bank and we can talk about it later, okay?”

Giving her my best salute, I drank the rest of my breakfast-dinner amalgamation meal and slid underneath my covers and her blanket. The one-bedroom apartment we shared didn’t boast much in the way of comfort, but we got by. The money from Christopher was genuinely life-changing, and I wanted to find a way to let him know. Would he even care though? You know how those rich people behave…money is nothing to them. I refused to believe in a world where four thousand dollars wasn’t a lot to a person and did my best to catch some sleep. 

City lights pulsed slowly through my threadbare curtains as sirens echoed through the streets and cars honked. Planes flew overhead, carrying hundreds of people to thousands of places, and the subway hummed far below. I finally fell asleep, though I couldn’t help but wonder if that money really meant nothing to Christopher.

notes from bambi: pls let me know if you guys like this concept! mwah

taglist: @pinksturniolo @st7rnioioss @cindylcuwho @slutsformatt @st7rnioioss @slutsformatt 

[adiproseprose]

‘God, I can’t wait for you to explode’

‘Just imagine this helpless piggy too big to walk’

‘No doubt she’ll be immobile soon…’

The addicting tight rush of fullness settles in my bloated gut. My third straight pitcher of weight gain shake collapses to the floor, and I struggle to shake the numbness out of my toes. If I could see them I’d know they were swollen and startlingly red, but I can’t see shit past my massive tits, hanging low to the center of my belly. I sink back into the couch and rub myself off, sausage fingers snaking into my underwear. My chins serve as a resting place for my exhausted head. 

I’ve always been something of an extremist. There was a time where I would count the calories on a baggy of baby carrots. I was a whore in every sense of the word, skinny as a pencil and duller than an eraser. I didn’t need anybody, I had the attention of every boy I made eye contact with. Skipped college and became a model, traveled all over the world. If you want, you can get my before and after shots. 45 bucks a piece, 112 vrs. 675. 

Nobody pays attention to you when you’re fat. 

I kicked the ball down the hill when my agency fired me, parents claiming I was giving their kids bulimia or some bullshit. The ball began to collect years of sugar, fat, salt and grease, hardly able to get out of bed without a mouthful of fresh endorphins. My veins swelled with lard, stomach overstretched and doubled over onto my fat padded knees. 

It was all very discouraging at first. I heard the gossip as I toddled along to my convenience store for my nightly dinner of mars bars and oven fries, about how tiny I used to be, if I was really the same girl. ‘Nobody wants to rub out a fat girl’. 

I drank a lot. Partied a lot. Had a lot of shitty, desperate sex that ended after 4 minutes with a sigh and a cigarette. Then I met this guy. He grabbed my belly and afterwards told me I could make a killing if I kept gaining weight. I told him to fuck off but I looked into it. Feedism is a deep, dark, somewhat fucked up world. But money is green, so I did some analysis. What did they like about these women, big asses, big tits, double chins? These women are making thousands of dollars just to eat. 

I piled on fat like batter in a cake tin. I’m round up top, double belly and huge boobs. Thickness in my face that I don’t love, but my ass is rounder than the moon. 

“Ohhhh…fuck *HIC*...fuck me. I might’ve had too much, guys.” I whine to the camera. I rub and shake my belly. 

“BURRPPP!” 

I like to read the comments while I masturbate. I scroll, an endless stream of aroused fans. 

‘700 bucks if you do a fourth!!111’

‘7 HUNDO!!!!!’

Over and over again this bitch. I roll my eyes. “500 dollars for another one Mr…Pigfarmer?” 

‘YES!!!’

He donates. And I fix the shake on my coffee table, bringing it to my lips. I wince. I really do not wanna throw up. 

“Gonna do this for you, Pigfarmer. Whoooo boy..” 

I down the shake in maybe 2 minutes and let the empty pitcher land on the floor with the others. “So *huff* fucking…fat. Can barely get… off the couch anymore..ughhhh…” 

‘I will feed you until your fucking feet fall off’

‘I can help you off the couch!!!’

‘I’ll feed you and fuck you until you can’t move baby’

This isn’t enough. I need to be fat enough to where anything is monetizable. Walking out to the car. Going up stairs. I’ve made a few sets of my rolling out bed, when my joints are aching and my waddle is exaggerated the most. 

I don’t get much out of this besides the money. If anything, it makes me feel gross. But I blend in effortlessly, I’ve gone so deep. I’m not a feedee. I am a fat fucking whale who happens to be fat because it makes me ridiculous amounts of money. It makes it a lot easier to smile. 

“Alright, guys, I’m gonna hop off. See you guys next time!! Love you!” 

I click. 1700 dollars from an hour stream. Not too bad. I wipe the sweat off my forehead and drum my belly. I’m numb. I’m covered in grease, shake powder and cum. I can barely make it through my day without that tight fullness now. I wheeze deeply as I contemplate what to eat for dinner.

[kopilot-pop]

Okayy I get where you’re coming from with the yunjin defending, and the next questions I’m asking fully genuinely.

Before this incident, somi (her friend) and Giselle (also her friend) received so much backlash for promoting Starbucks (somi) and posting McDonald’s (Giselle). After seeing the amount of backlash she got, she removed all her insta posts with Starbucks. Yet afterwards, she got Starbucks and PUBLICLY drank it? That’s what’s confusing to me — how she knew the consequences but still did it?

and what’s also confusing is how Yunjin is one of the most *chronically* online idols. She always knows what’s trending, new dances, and whatnot. And the g3no going on in Palestine isn’t hidden from Korea. I, myself, live in Japan but my dad lives in Korea, and he’s fully aware of the boycott (a 45 year old Asian man). And his alternative is drinking from other coffee shops, cause there is one in every corner of Seoul. After every street you walk, guaranteed 100% you’ll find a coffee shop. So that doesn’t make sense, why Starbucks, even though she highly knows of the ongoing boycott.

Secondly is how Rachel (her sister) liked dozens of pro-Zionists content on Instagram. And I know you guys say that not everyone thinks the same, but I just think it ties into it (personally).

And thirdly is how yunjin is an adult, she knew about the boycott, the reactions she’d get and how tens of thousands of kids (excluding teenagers) have died in the hands of Israelis. (Look at motaz’s page on insta for reference, big tw). She, if not, should know how severe the situation is in Palestine, specifically Rafah and Gaza. Yunjin is not a baby, she doesn’t need to be babied, just like how you guys are babying them for their icky live vocals, it won’t get them anywhere.

And regardless of wether Starbucks donated to Isreal or not, they’ve clearly shown their support to which side they’re on when they’ve fired workers over TWEETS their workers made over solidarity with Palestine. And to add onto it, they only “apologized” after losing BILLIONS of dollars.

That’s just me and my questions.

Hey I’ll answer your questions one by one, and no worries I understand where you’re coming from. (I’m gonna be a bit out of order so please bare with me.)

Again, (jesus I really dont wat to defend sb, so please understand i’m simply stating facts.) Starbucks sued the union because they used their logo to state a political statement. That was the reason they sued them. As stated in their official website, they do not see their company as a political one and doesn’t want to be revolved in ANYTHING related to politics. So that means even if the Union - per say - showed ‘support towards Joe Biden’, or any other political party or ideology, they would’ve acted the same. That’s how I see it.

Nobody was babying Yunjin. I’m not exactly sure if you’re accusing me or people who supported my post of babying her, but I’m clearly not. I stated directly that, I’m not saying not to take her accountable for her actions. Nobody’s babying her, especially me. I’m also not saying that she wasn’t aware of the war. I’m saying her ‘chronically online’ personality is being exaggerated in this situation. She’s a grown woman with a job, and a persona created for the crowd. Personally, I understand Lesserafim and any group in kpop as a CHARACTER. They’re not always real (even if there are exceptions), and seeing the Hun Yunjin and Yunjin of LSF as same is wrong.

Icky vocals? Not helping? That’s just a rude statement for you to make and completely irrelevant to the discussion at hand. That was unnecessary.

I’m an only child so I can’t say much of the average sibling dynamic, but I’m pretty sure Rachel and Yunjin are separate entities. They’re different people. Just like how my mother’s Christian and I’m an Atheist, just because you’re a family doesn’t mean you have the same ideology. You trying to link Rachel’s actions with her sister is just a hasty generalization.

I understand your father is in Korea and boycotts Starbucks. That’s great, Im also Korean and boycott, too. But the reason I said Starbucks isn’t as wildly boycotted in Korea compared to other countries is based on my personal interactions. From my school friends, colleagues, random people I’ve seen online, and even my family, quite literally all of them seemed to be unaware of the Starbucks boycott. Every Starbucks I’ve seen near my house (albeit which is in Busan) is filled to the brim with people. That includes shops in non populated areas AND tourist destination areas. Additionally, no news has been widely spread about the boycott on any Korean news websites that I’ve seen. MBC, KBS, and other news sites I’ve checked doesn’t even talk about boycotting at all. (It’s not something to be proud of, yes. I am simply stating a fact. ) With all these reasons I came to the conclusion not alot of Koreans are actively boycotting SB.

Are there alot of coffee shops in Korea? Yes. Are there alot of SB in Korea? Also yes. Korea ranks fourth in Starbucks location amounts. However, with this part of my post you’re focusing too much on a reasoning I understood could be a bit of a reach and not mentioning the reasoning I gave which said SB Korea is separate from the western organization. It’s bought out. Ideologies are different. Emart and the investment company has no statement regarding the war.

Somi and Giselle is completely unrelated to her actual ideologies. Just because they’re friends doesn’t mean they all fucking think the same. It is different people to people, but I don’t think every friend group gets together to discuss the society and political wars happening. You’re making a hasty generalization again - similar to your statement about Rachel. I don’t understand why you’re bringing up the two to counter my post about Huh Yunjin.

Yes, she most likely saw the backlash, and again, she didn’t publicly show “oh hey lookie i’m drinking SB”, she was just going to her company quickly and a few pixels of her cup was caught on a fan’s camera. That’s why I said in the original post that the people accusing her of being a performative activist are hypocrites.

My main point of the post wasn’t to a 100% defend Yunjin. The point was to say, if you’re gonna take someone accountable, do it right. Don’t make a mockery of her, you’re not any better than the people protecting her of her actions blindly. And don’t follow the crowd blindly to just simply get attention.

I don’t really want to fill my posts with these long posts, so if you have anymore follow up questions and discussions please DM me.

[the-conversation-pod]

Welcome Back My Boyfriend!

AND WE'RE BACK!

It's finally time to discuss Our Skyy 2! We were playing hurt this night: Ben was still recovering from dental surgery (please forgive his voice during this episode) and Nini was nursing a headache. Still, it didn't stop us from discussing all eight shows and talking about the crossover for an hour!

Nini and Ben assess the entirety of Our Skyy 2 and rank the offerings from worst to first.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

Listen on Google Podcasts

Timestamps

The timestamps will now correspond to chapters on Spotify for easier navigation.

0:00 - Welcome 1:15 - Intro 6:07 - Vice Versa 14:23 - Star in My Mind 19:20 - Never Let Me Go 28:00 - A Boss and a Babe 36:45 - The Eclipse 49:50 - My School President 1:00:24 - Badd Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars 1:59:13 - Overall Score for Our Skyy 2

The Conversation: Now With Transcripts!

We received an accessibility request to include transcripts for the podcast. We are working with @ginnymoonbeam on providing the transcripts and @lurkingshan as an editor and proofreader.

We will endeavor to make the transcripts available when the episodes launch, and it is our goal to make them available for past episodes. When transcripts are available, we will attach them to the episode post (like this one) and put the transcript behind a Read More cut to cut down on scrolling.

Please send our volunteers your thanks!

0:00 - Welcome

Nini

Hello, hello! Your QL fandom aunty and uncle are here with giant sunglasses, brown liquor in a flask, a folded five-dollar bill to slip into your hand when no one is looking, lukewarm takes, occasional rides on the discourse, deep dives into artistry and the industry.

Ben

Lots of simping! I’m Ben.

Nini

I’m Nini.

Ben

And this is The Conversation. About once a season, we plan to swan in and shoot the shit on faves, flops, and trends that we’ve been noticing in the BL, GL, or QL Industry. Between seasons, you can find us typing way too many words on Tumblr.

1:15 - Intro

Nini

Hi, Ben. How are you tonight?

Ben

I'm battling my own body's slow recovery from dental surgery but it doesn't matter because we have so much to record so we're sticking to the schedule!

Nini

But, we're gonna be okay. You've got meds, I've got meds—a.k.a. beer—for this headache. We're gonna be fine. We're doing it live. So, what are we talking about tonight? We are talking about Our Skyy 2… What a journey. Ben, explain to the people the concept of Our Skyy.

Ben

Welcome back, my boyfriend! That's it. 

Nini

[laughs]

Ben

Jojo started this off and summed it up perfectly. Our Skyy originally served as a sort of epilogue project for the initial run of GMMTV BLs. 

In the first run we had the Puppy Honey crew with OffGun, the SOTUS pair with Krist and Singto, the InSun pair from My Dear Loser: Edge of 17, Tay and New from Kiss the series—before Dark Blue Kiss, and Drake and Frank from My Tee a.k.a. ‘Cause You're My Boy.

Nini

So, that's the concept of Our Skyy. So, when GMMTV put out its 2023 offerings last year: Surprise! Our Skyy 2. They are giving us epilogues for 2020, 2021, and some 2022 shows. We're gonna dive into these.

Ben

With the original Our Skyy it was kind of chaotic. So, every crew kind of just did what felt right for their characters. 

Like, Pete and Kao basically went on a date that was mostly uncomplicated—something their characters needed. 

OffGun did a body swap which was just so they could let Gun pick on Off for a bit. 

In and Sun got closure—unsurprising, Aof was on that one. 

‘Cause You're My Boy: they just kind of did just a hot mess that was weirdly endearing, which is exactly what their show was. 

And SOTUS did like the the next most logical thing for Arthit and Kongpob, which was them kinda saying goodbye as they were heading into a long distance form of their relationship because Kongpob was pursuing higher schooling outside of Thailand, if I remember correctly?

In a similar vein, this particular Our Skyy run that we're going to be talking about very much captured what I think the core spirit of the original work was, and each team came back to it—for the most part—with something to say that was consistent with their original offerings. 

Nini

Yep.

Ben

We went Never Let Me Go, Star in My Mind, The Eclipse, Vice Versa, My School President, A Boss and a Babe, Bad Buddy? and then A Tale of Thousand Stars.

Nini

I also think that the airing order was very interesting and maybe we'll get a little time to talk about how they chose to air what they did when they did. This Our Skyy, I think, wanted to lean a little bit into the crack. Every single outing had a little bit of a crack element to it—and I quite like that. I enjoyed that. I had fun with that—for the most part—and we'll get to the ones where I did not enjoy that.

Ben

I do think that the Our Skyy project leans into fan service, and not in an inherently negative way? They want the people who enjoyed this show to have fun coming back to the show, and it’s been notable for me that, for the most part, I found that if someone really liked the original show they also really liked their Our Skyy outing. So like, for those of you who've listened to me or followed me, you know what shows I didn't like or despised when they aired and—unsurprisingly—my takes are fairly consistent.

Nini

Maybe it's the corners of the internet that I've been perusing, which you always tell me to stop looking at…I feel like the more that people liked the OG show the more upset they were with the Our Skyy. Maybe that's just the people are being wrong on the internet corners of the internet that I like to occasionally look through. [laughs]

Ben

[laughs] I don't go there.

6:07 - Vice Versa

Nini

Let's delve into it. Let's start talking some specifics. So, if we're going from worst to first my worst without a doubt was the Vice Versa Our Skyy. I am on record as not having watched Vice Versa because I was not interested in Vice Versa. I have tried and failed so many times with Jittirain stories that I knew that I was not going to enjoy this one, and so I never watched the original. But, for the sake of the podcast, I watched every single Our Skyy including this one, except I did not finish this one. [laughs] I started watching it. I was mostly annoyed, and then something happened that just… I just said, “Oh, absolutely not,” and I stopped watching it.

So, the trope—the, the crack trope—for the Vice Versa Our Skyy; the fan fic-y, fan service-y trope is: Add a Kid. I think it's Puen? Puen and Talay have been together for a while now. They're working hard, working a lot. They don't have as much time for each other. And so Talay comes up with the idea of doing a month of special days where they pay very close attention to each other and they do special things together. And it's a really sweet idea and honestly if that had been it I would have been fine. There would have been no problem. 

But then they add a kid, and the way that they add a kid is what pisses me off. One of their friends… essentially delivers his nephew into the care of these strangers… so that they can play house? But it's also like a trick that Puen is playing on Talay. Because this kid just shows up at the house and Talay thinks that it might be his kid. Like, the, the setup of Vice Versa has always—as I have said before—every time I think I know what Vice Versa is about, Ben lets me know that I don't actually know what Vice Versa is about. But there's some way that Talay thinks that this kid is his somehow.

Ben

Would you like the context for why he believes that kid is his?

Nini

Sure, hit me with it!

Ben

So, they basically spend two years in the other world with Nanon and Ohm’s characters in their bodies. Ohm's character, Tess, is an asshole who absolutely ruined Talay’s life for the two years he was in his body. He sabotaged and ruined every personal and professional relationship that Talay had. 

When he got back to his own body he had to spend years fixing his own life. Which sucks, because while he was in Tess's body he basically fixed Tess's life. It's really upsetting for me that Puen, who claims to love Talay, who watched him suffer for all of the things that Tess did to his life would genuinely let Talay believe that Tess saddled him with the responsibility of an unplanned kid… because he thinks his boyfriend doesn't pay enough attention to him… like he makes his boyfriend work outside in a tent in Thailand to do graphic design on an iMac.

Nini

You were really really mad about the tent. [laughs] I remember when we were watching this. You were really pissed about the tent.

Ben

I'm—I'm not over it.

It's humid in Thailand! Why would he be outside with a Mac? Oh my God—

It's frustrating because… On the one hand, I understand the impulse of, like, how do we get these guys to consider a new form of domesticity together? But, like, why do we have to use an actual child? Why can't we use, like, a dog, or a cat? Not coercing a child into letting strangers bathe him, and treat him like he's their son, and sleep with him in their bed. It’s so, so weird… and really unhinged… and it made me like a bunch of characters even less than I already did! 

It was aggravating. It's frustrating because Puen did this through the whole show. Like, he doesn't trust Talay. He lies to him. He manipulates him. Talay and he are both in entertainment and Talay was against a huge deadline the night of Puen’s birthday, and he couldn't take a break from his work to meet his deadline to go do flirty, boyfriend things with Puen. 

Puen expressed this frustration directly the next day in a way that I thought was totally valid and then Talay goes, ‘You are correct. Here is the plan I've come up with for us to make sure that we don't take our own relationship for granted, and keep working at it.’ And they have a really great month doing cute boyfriend date things while trying to maintain their careers. And so the whole secret baby felt completely unnecessary. 

Like, we need something to happen for the plot to justify Jimmy, Neo, Aou, and Sea hanging out together. So, we have to introduce a secret baby, I guess? 

I hated it…[laughs] Like, people joke that I don't often give low scores because I don't usually watch crap. Like, if something is, like, really really bad out of the gate I am like, “Oof! I don't have time for this!” and I'll usually drop it these days, because I got too much to do. But, like, I gave the show a 3 because I was deeply put off by the coercion of a child and the audacity of it all. Because, like, you know what your boyfriend went through because of Tess. 

Why would you pull on that really traumatic thread from five years ago and make him believe that Tess had done this to him as well—knowing that Talay has a strong sense of responsibility, and would of course try to do right by a potential child. 

Like, it's hard to even talk about, like, any of the cute relationship things that may have come out of this because, like, they should divorce.

Nini

I did not enjoy this when it was revealed that the kid was…tricked. I turned it off, and I did not watch the end. 

For every special of Our Skyy, I gave it a drama score and a crack score. My drama score for this was a -5, because I was entirely unamused—like wholly unamused. This is not what I came to see in any way. I don't care if the kid is cute. I don't care if they're all cute together. They're literally using a child to fix their relationship—

Ben

And, explicitly, the child's parents did not know that this was happening.

Nini

—which makes it worse! So, I gave it a drama score of a -5, which is of course an overreaction but it's still getting a 0. Crack score, I gave it a 10, because it is actual crack? Like, this is probably the crackiest thing that happened in all of Our Skyy. But…it's not enjoyable as crack! So, let's give it a… 5 for crack… So, 0 for drama, 5 for crack gives it a score of 2.5, which sounds about correct.

Ben

Yeah, not good. 

Nini

Yeah.

Ben

Pass.

Nini

Not good. Tens or chops? One chop! 

Ben

Two chops!

[both laugh]

14:23 - Star in My Mind

Nini

Let's leave Vice Versa behind in the dustbin where it belongs and let's move on to the next on the list: Star in My Mind. Hoo! 

Ben

[laughs]

Nini

Ben, I can't even remember what happened, I was so bored watching these episodes, like, dead bored. Star in My Mind is also a show that I did not watch the OG show. So, I had no idea what it was about and was going in blind. And, I think that I was correct to not watch the OG show, because… if it was anything as boring as this, I didn't need to see it.

Ben

[sighs] So, the Star in My Mind special is basically just the gang going on a little vacation together, and then New tries to subvert the “You're together now. Let's throw in a jealousy element bit.” Like, you put a note on here that the trope for this one is “trick your friends into going on vacation.” 

So, their friends try to tease Daonuea into believing that maybe Kluen has eyes for some girl, and Daonuea gets jealous about this, and then a fight ensues and the friends get all upset. But we in the audience know that the guys are faking this fight. They knew what their friends were up to, but they were kind of flaking on this vacation. So, he uses this fake fight to force them to go on vacation with them. 

Whatever. 

Like, I think the part of this that was cute was New just throwing away the whole jealousy trope for BL, and then having the gay characters just be like, ‘Yeah, this is stupid. Anyway, we're going to absolutely use this against them because these bitches will not buy their tickets and I'm [gonna] force them to.” And, like, that part was kind of fun.

I'm in my breakup era with New right now. I can see, again, him trying to do something here. New is currently over BL. He’s tired of it. You can feel that in Star in My Mind. Like, he's completely bored with all of this. And so what could have been, like, at least a cute trip, just looks like five straight dudes hanging out in the woods for like an hour.

Nini

I think my notes say “it's two hours of a bunch of dudes vibing without vibes.”

Ben

Yeah, like, it wasn't great, and I don't really like coming for actors like that. But, Dunk is still uncomfortable with on-screen intimacy—or at least it feels like he is—particularly compared to Joong, who does not suffer from being camera shy when it comes to this kind of work. And so while I've seen them in behind-the-scenes stuff, and their variety stuff, and Joong and Dunk are great bros, I'm still struggling with Dunk as a romantic lead because he doesn't kiss well.

Nini

New didn't even phone this in. Like, I think he sent an email? Maybe it was a snail mail. 

This was just—it was boring, which I think might be worse than bad? What do we even say about it? 

Ben

Nothing! There is nothing to say! Like, Pawin was there. He didn't kiss anybody. [laughs]

Nini

I mean… that's really all that you can say about it. It was a waste of Pawin, like.

Probably the only thing that I enjoyed about this was Joong's several pissy faces when Khabkluen is salty because all his straight friends keep interrupting his gay couple time to hang out when all he wants to do is make out. And, like, the pissy faces that he makes are delightful, and they're the only reason this has a score. 

I give it a drama score of 3, because what was it even about? And I gave it a crack score of 4, and all four of those points are for Joong's pissy faces which I thoroughly enjoyed. So, It was a 3.5 for me not because it was bad but because it was boring.

Ben

I think a show has to be offensive to me in some way for me to go lower than 6 and Star in My Mind is not. It's just boring and because I've been in these gay streets a long time, I've been offended. A lot. And, I will accept boring. It's a 6. It's forgettable. We don't have to talk about it anymore.

Nini

And we will not.

Ben

[laughs]

19:20 - Never Let Me Go

Nini

We're going to move on to the actual fun and interesting ones now. [laughs] There's a definite quality bar in Our Skyy 2. There are Vice Versa and Star in My Mind, which are below the quality bar. And then there's everything else, which is above the quality bar. Now, we're talking about games of inches here. 

Never Let Me Go. So, the Never Let Me Go fanfic trope for Our Skyy was they did a time travel story that was also a—.

Ben

Fated mates.

Nini

—that was also a fated mates, and also a role reversal, and also like a body hopping. Like, there were—there was a lot going on here. It was not boring. Everybody was clearly having a fabulous time making this. And, I actually really enjoyed it. It was two episodes. I could have watched maybe four to six episodes of this no problem.

This was actually incredibly interesting. It was a lot of fun. Pawin, and Pond especially, clearly had a great time. 

Ben

That's true.

[both laugh]

Nini

Pond had a fabulous time. So, the plot of the Never Let Me Go special… You go ahead.

Ben

All right. So, it's been a couple of years since we left the boys in Never Let Me Go, and Nuengdiao has been studying elsewhere. He's coming back to Thailand, and Palm has quietly been setting up shop in Bangkok so that when Nuengdiao comes back to Thailand he can be closer to him. He doesn't want to just stay out by the beach because he wants to see his boyfriend more. 

[Cat begins wailing in the hallway near Ben’s mic]

Nuengdiao was a little bit caught off guard by this, and didn't like him making decisions for them. They run into a fortune teller who tells them that if they don't fix what was originally broken, they won't make it in this life, either. And then the fantasy hijinks kick in, where they are sent back in time to their original pairing… into the bodies of their past selves. And in their past—in their first past together where they become a couple—Palm is the rich lord, and Nuengdiao is essentially sold to him as a slave. Also, Pawin is there in an earlier version of his character. 

And so they have to play their roles. Palm is having way too much fun bossing Nuengdiao around. And also just trying to have sex with him in the past. Over the course of this they end up realizing that they have to help Pawin’'s character hook up with Mark Pahun's character, and so all of the girlies who've been waiting for that ship to reunite were fed. 

Nini is correct. Like, this ended up being really fun, because we got to see Palm and Nuengdiao kind of become like the gays who have it together for other gays.

Nini

It had that crack story but there was also another story going on alongside the crack which I really enjoyed—building on Nungdiao and Palm's actual OG series story—which is that Nuengdiao believes that Palm should make his life about himself, that he should make his decisions about the things that he wants to do without considering Neung. And that they can still be together but Palm shouldn't plan his life around him. When he comes back to Bangkok, it's to tell Palm essentially that he's decided that he's gonna stay away for a longer period of time. He's gonna do graduate school as well. 

And, this is actually a conflict between them that sort of leads into the whole time travel thing, but it's actually a really interesting conflict between them because it builds on their series story in a really interesting way. I enjoyed watching them navigate it and figure it out while they were also navigating and figuring out how the hell to get out of the past. I mean the internal logic of the story just about holds together. It's fun. It's enjoyable. It's emotional. 

Ben

If he looks at you for seven seconds he's into you and we're all like rooting for this under an umbrella.

Nini

It's fun. It's cute. It's got a little bit of a message to it. It's enjoyable. The characters feel like themselves. At one point we get a little montage of smash cuts of Nueng and Palm: they alternate crying over each other's dead bodies through the ages.

Ben

One of them definitely felt like a nod to Aof’s work where Jojo was poking fun at him.

Nini

They were actually dressed like Jim and Wen in Moonlight Chicken complete with Phuwin wearing sunglasses, his corpse wearing sunglasses at night when he's dead and Pond crying over him. It was really funny. It was delightful. That little smash cut montage was really fun and actually upped the crack score a little. Time travel is crack, no way about it. I was fully going to give it a good crack score anyway. But that little sequence upped the crack score by at least a point. It was just very funny. 

And then watching Pawin overexaggerate his “khrub’s” and fall in love with Mark Pahun's character, who's like a jewelry seller at the market. And then when they come back to the present and he's Phum again, they meet Phum at the house—which has been maintained—the lord's house has been maintained throughout the ages.

Ben

Because it had been passed down to his ancestors’ family now because they were all, like, gay besties together.

Nini

Yeah, and like, Phum and Mark Pahun's character are together in this life, too—and they're really cute—and Phum's like, “Yeah, I was a shit to you in high school. I'm sorry about that.” [laughs] It was nice. It was fun. It was enjoyable. I gave it a drama score of 7.5—I think that's reasonable for it. I gave it a crack score of 8.5 so it works out to an 8 for me, which I liked. I liked it.

Ben

I really liked a lot of this. I liked how much fun Phuwin and Pond had in the traditional garb that they were wearing. I like how much fun they had with how often they had to be shirtless. I really enjoyed them writing vows to each other in the past because they didn't know if they would be able to escape. Basically fully committed to each other. That was really beautiful, and not something I expected from Jojo. I was really surprised that Jojo did something that genuinely tender. That really worked for me.

I gave it an 8. It's one of those 8’s where it's, like, if you liked Never Let Me Go, this is going to make it feel a little bit better because the idea that the drama of Never Let Me Go is yet another instance of these two characters trying to be with each other across space and time is super romantic—and that's the kind of shit I love in my big dramas. And I was not expecting this particular show to make me go, “Wow,” [sighs] and look back at the, the original show and go, “Okay. I can see that.”

It was deeply enjoyable. If you liked Never Let Me Go enough, and you feel mildly dissatisfied by it, and you just kind of want some closure to walk away from, watch the special. I felt very good about Palm and Nuengdaio by the end of that, because they felt a little bit more grown. And I kind of like where they left the characters with Palm just being like, “Whatever, I have a rich boyfriend and I've worked very hard. I'm just gonna go hang out with you in Germany for a little while, and then we'll figure it out from there.” And I'm like, more power to you, bro.

Nini

It seemed like yes that they were just going to vibe and enjoy each other, And, after everything that those two went through? Sure! That seems like a great place to leave them. 

28:00 - A Boss and a Babe

Nini

Also in the, for me, 8 category—so there is a tie here—A Boss and a Babe. This kind of…surprised me, because I ended up, with the OG show, being really disappointed by where we landed with it. But I really liked the Our Skyy.

Ben

This is a little bit weird because I think in terms of whenever the rest of you hear this. We're actually, I think releasing this before the episode where we talk about A Boss and a Babe. So, spoilers, a bit, for that particular episode, but, uh, we were…less than impressed with A Boss and a Babe. 

Nini

For sure.

Ben

However, we actually had a decent time with their Our Skyy outing. Nini why don't you walk us through the setup for this particular outing. 

Nini

So, the fanfic trope for the A Boss and a Babe outing of Our Skyy is, I guess, “walk a mile in my shoes” kind of thing? Gun and Cher are happy together. They're sweet loving boyfriends… but the office is in shambles. Because Gun is stressed out and he's stressing everybody at work out. And because Cher knows everybody at work because he used to work there, he has been hipped to the fact that his man is stressing everybody else. And so he goes on a mission to try to get his man to stop stressing everybody at work out. 

So, trying to make him understand that he needs to dial it the fuck back. And the way that he eventually comes up with after trying a few other ways, is that they are going to spend a day walking a mile in each other's shoes. So, he is going to spend a day being the boss, and Gun is going to spend a day being the intern so that Gun gets an idea of the stresses that his employees go through. And Cher is just like whatever I'll just be the boss, and Gun is like, “Oh, it's not as easy as you think.” 

And it actually turns out really fun and interesting to watch them do this. Of course it's a weird, horny sex thing because everything is a weird, horny sex thing with these two. But [laughs] it's, it's fun. It's light. It's interesting. It's…enjoyable. It's a strong conflict. It's a stronger conflict than we get in the actual OG series. It works. I think it's that because it's so short New doesn't really have time to fuck it up.

Ben

[laughs] So, like, I was frustrated because Gun’s being kind of a difficult boss, but being fairly reasonable about why he's a difficult boss. He's like, “We work in a difficult industry where we spend a great deal of time working on something, and then we release it to the public, and then it can flop. And so I have been funding people's jobs for anywhere from two to 12 months working on a project, and we really need strong turnaround for this because these people's jobs are riding on the success of this. So they do need to take their jobs seriously, and when they are given feedback or are given specific directives, they need to accomplish those directives.” 

There's like really interesting tension there between, like, the boss's perspective of, “Y'all can be mad at me, but you want me to cut your checks, right?” versus, “Bro, we are not going to work well under these fucking conditions.” Like, that tension was delivered really well! Gun's perspective comes through in a way that doesn't feel pandering to anyone, and I was like he is a little bit off base in the way he talks to people, but the things he's concerned about are valid for where he sits.

It just pissed me off low-key because, like, we never figured out what Thyme’s whole deal was in the original show. Like, his friend who used to be part of the company. And it feels like that was his job here—was to be like the bridge between Gun and the team. To translate Gun’s directives and frustrations into directives for the team so they could accomplish them and to keep the team motivated. And, like, Cher was helping with that for a while but now that Cher is, like, doing other stuff, like, that has gone away. That's the biggest thing with this one. Like, this was such a solid concept that it made me even more annoyed at how the OG show just sort of fumbled every thread that they were holding.

Nini

Yeah, I have to agree. Like, the workplace conflict on this was really strong and solid, and the workplace stuff in the OG show was kind of weak. And part of the workplace stuff that was great in this was showing that, yeah, Gun does need a balancing force at work. But also, aside from that, surprisingly, Cher is not an idiot. [laughs] Like, Cher is actually pretty competent. He's not, like, ready, clearly, to be the boss of a place like this. But he's not an idiot. 

Like, one of the things that happens is that Gun tries to set him up a little bit by having, like, a client come in and try to, like, have a discussion and talk to him about, like, partnering on a game or something and like talking about ideas and all that kind of stuff. And at first you think that Cher is going to blow it. But then he delivers. He comes into the meeting. You know, he takes a minute to get his bearings and understand what's going on, but then he has actual good ideas? And he can speak to the people in a way that works for the business. 

So, it shows they could probably at some point in the future after Cher has learned more, they could probably run the business together. Because I think that they bring the different perspectives that's required, but, just like Ben said, that also makes me, like, really mad that we didn't get more of the Thyme stuff in the OG series because, to me, that feels like this was what Thyme’s role was. And that just completely got cast aside. So, on the one hand, I thought this was actually pretty good but, on the other hand, it made me think even less of the OG series and I was already struggling with the OG series.

Ben

[sighs] And that's where we are. It sucks because, like, again, like, Force and Book are good. And the cast of this particular show? Very good. They hold together an otherwise weak show but, man, you just really want to see what that cast looks like when they have a really good show under their belt.

Nini

Yeah, and this gives you, like, a kind of an ‘in’ to that. So my score: this was drama score of 8 because I thought it was a solid conflict. Well executed. I give it a crack score of 8 because, quite honestly, once the whole role reversal thing started. Like, if I worked for Gun’s company, I would have taken, like, vacation until that was over because it was just…It was a little too “bring your kinks to work” for me personally. 

[both laugh]

I would have been like, yeah I don't need to see this. I'm gonna take a day off, and tomorrow when I come back, hopefully everything will be normal. Combined like drama score 8 crack score 8 average 8. What did you give it? 

Ben

I gave it an 8, and we were joking with some of our other friends about how most of us gave it an 8, and I think it was ginnymoonbeam who was like, “We all gave it an 8, but these are all very different 8s.”

[both laugh]

Nini

Yes, that is definitely true. These are different 8s that we are giving it. My 8 is like, “Damn it. Now I got to go back and revise my score of the OG series and put it even lower.”

36:45 - The Eclipse

Nini

Moving along from the 8s and now we're starting to get into the top of tops. The top top top tops of the Our Skyy pantheon for me. And next up is The Eclipse. Ben, I'm [gonna] need you to give the people what we're talking about here.

Ben

The Eclipse picks up, it feels like, the summer after the boys have graduated from high school. So, they're away from Suppalo—we're not going to deal with any of the Suppalo nonsense anymore. It's just the two couples, Wat, and…Pawin's character for some reason, because he's always palling around them. They're getting together to help Wat shoot for a film project that he wants to submit to a competition. But we pick up, originally, with Akk and Ayan who were doing boyfriend things, and we are seeing the ongoing deprogramming of Akk continuing. And over the course of the filming for this, we see that Akk and Ayan are basically stand-ins for Golf's very complex ideas about the way our private and public lives inform each other, and how both are inherently political. 

Akk and Ayan over the course of this are having a struggle about whether or not they should care what other people think. Akk thinks that to be part of a civil society you do have to care about how your actions and behaviors impact other people. Ayan, who has seen what a civil society does to people, thinks that that is bullshit and that he should be more concerned about himself and the people he cares about, and not the nebulous feelings of others. And then calls Akk directly out at one point about how his concern for others turned him into the worst version of a cop possible.

And it gets really ugly when they're working on Wat’s film project. These two are having a truly fundamental struggle about whether or not the two of them are even compatible because they do not see eye-to-eye politically. You get the sense that Ayan hoped that, once freed from the Suppalo prefect thing, Akk would start to see things more his way. And Akk hoped that Ayan would stop fighting with him so much, because Akk really just wants to do soft, cuddly things with his boyfriend. But Ayan gets off on fighting with Akk. [laughs] So he is always antagonizing him for sex reasons. 

Nini

It's one of those early relationship conflicts when you're still figuring out how to be with each other. When you're dating at the beginning, you put your best foot forward. In this case, with the two of them, they put their absolute worst foot forward when they were getting together. But there's still that thing about the version of you when you're courting is…different, somewhat, than the version of you when you're not courting. For them, the issue is the version of them when they were courting was exactly who they are, but they didn't think that that was who they were. 

So, like you said, Ayan really thought that out of the pressure cooker of Suppalo, Akk would be a different person, and then he's, like, coming to realize: No, this is really just who he is. And Akk is having that same realization about Ayan. They have to decide essentially—and they do decide via Wat's film—whether what they are to each other is worth bridging that gap between them. The answer that they come to is: yes it is—in a really phenomenal scene that I enjoyed so much.

Ben

Let me tell you. First and Khaotung are just really, really good together. Like, it's amazing how they can play these two characters coming to a precipice of fundamental political disagreement to the point that they looked at each other and they're like, “Is this really who I'm going to be with?” And you can see this almost weird resignation as they turn to face each other and embrace, where there are no easy answers to this. 

They don't see eye to eye politically on a lot of really fundamental things, and yet they still want to choose each other each time. And that is delivered so well. Like, it's hard to watch The Eclipse with your brain off. I watched a lot of people try to do it during the original show and they struggled, because it is not a brains-off show. Golf has a lot to say about the state of their country and is using whatever platform they have to voice some of these ideas, most notably about how sitting on your phone writing mean tweets is not action. That you need to get into the work. That you have to get into the streets with other people. You have to participate in the work. Even if it's just in the support of getting the people who do do the work the tools and food they need to do the work. 

And it's really fascinating that even in this little two-part special, which as far as some people thought, was just First and Khaotung making out for two hours because these boys kissed a lot in this special, they managed to say a lot. Golf managed to express their deep love of Thai cinema with the references that Wat was playing out. 

It also managed to get across how much these two boys really like each other, and it was kind of fun to see Akk and Kan working their way out of their internalized homophobia. Like it was not surprising to me that Akk and Kan wanted to do a lot of touching with their boyfriends. 

Nini

I really liked how it all came together: how Golf used their love of not just Thai cinema but queer cinema to sort of pull the threads together of the fight that Akk and Ayan were having. The petty fight and the serious fight, because they were having a fight on two levels. They were having a petty fight about—well, maybe not petty—but they were having a surface level fight about Ayan   paying attention to Akk and being lovey-dovey and soft with him, versus Ayan wanting Akk to be tougher with him because that's what he likes. And then that going to the deep level of the political, and then, on top of that, that being pulled together by the concept of film. And then even throwing in for us a little side story about Wat and what film means to him, and how he's not necessarily supported by his family—but he kind of is a little bit but mostly not—and how he has things to say and he feels strongly about those things

Like, they managed to do a lot with very little in this special and I really, really enjoyed it. It was very deep for what it was. Very thinkable piece. I really liked it. And then on top of that, they also get to have a little bit of coming-of-age nostalgia moments about leaving high school and moving into the real world. There's so much packed into those two hours. I was really impressed with how much they managed to get in there and have it feel organic.

Ben

I was incredibly impressed by this entire outing.

Nini

I liked the special on its own. I liked it in connection to the OG show. I liked it as a continuation of the OG show. I liked the things that it had to say and the way that it carried through its themes. I was impressed by how much it managed to fit in. I gave it a drama score of 9.5. I really thought it was very, very good.

Ben

But there was singing so she took half a point.

[both laugh]

Nini

I gave it a crack score of 8. The trope really was I guess “secret surprise” because the frame that this is all put in is Ayan preparing a surprise for Akk’s birthday, but it's a secret surprise where he's pretending that he doesn't remember and he's not going to celebrate Akk’s birthday, which is a little weird which is why I took the half point off really, because I hate that secret surprise trope.

Ben

It's one of those things where I don't really like it for Akk, but if fits with Ayan’s sort of, like…Ayan is the queer kid who reads too much theory. Like, he knows more than you. And so he doesn't always see you, specifically. Like, he outs Thua in the first show thinking he's helping him. Like, he kind of is but, like, he outs Thua and oversteps, and it's the same thing here with Akk. Like, he wants to surprise Akk. Like I don't think you should be surprising Akk, because so much of his Suppalo experience is about being guided by the things that are not being said that he's supposed to just interpret. 

If you're trying to deprogram him, you need to not do that to him. And the reason why, like I—I mostly let it go is because, as dense as Ayan can kind of be because he's too fucking smart for his own good, when Akk admitted in, like, the first fifteen minutes of the show that he hoped that they were gonna do cute boyfriend frolicking in the fields and taking pictures together, and Ayan was like, “Oh, I thought you were just kidding about that.”  

And Akk was like, “No! I was serious.” 

It's like, “All right? Well shit! Grab your camera!” And they frolicked! 

Nini

[laughs]

Ben

He gave his boyfriend the cute boyfriend shit he wanted to do, even if he teased him a little bit about it first.

Nini

I did like that too. I like that they don't have it together yet but they're willing to listen, and they're willing to do what it takes, I think. But, like I said, I'm knocking out a half a point for the secret surprise because I hate that trope. The crack score is an 8 because there's these set of dream sequences which are homages to Thai film and queer film, and I thought they were delightful. There's the Brokeback Mountain one and then there's the Golden Eagle one which is a Thai film then there's the Ong Bak one which is another Thai film and then there's another—

Ben

If you have not seen Ong Bak and you like action film, please go see Ong Bak. 

Nini

I have not watched Ong Bak. Of course, Ben has because he's a boy. 

Ben

I am a boy! Tony Jaa is amazing!

Nini

[laughs] I really liked that Golf gets to throw that in there as well. And it's fun. The Golden Eagle one especially is delightful. [laughs] It really is. So that's 9.5 and 8. Let's call that an 8.75. Ooh the maths is coming back! It's coming back! An 8.75 for The Eclipse.

Ben, what’d you give it?

Ben

I gave it a 9 because it's really coherent and that mattered a lot for me, because we had watched a lot of—I don't remember the exact order—but I remember just not being, like, necessarily, like, great at this point because a bunch of them were kind of…stuffed…or boring…and this wasn't. I was fully engaged the whole time, because Golf has such clear ideas in their work and they're all working together at various levels that they really wanted us to not miss.

49:50 - My School President

Nini

Moving on from The Eclipse onto the next rung on the ladder up: My School President. So the My School President fan fiction trope was AU, alternate universe, for all of the characters. I had a fucking blast with this. Ben, explain to the people what happened.

Ben

I'm gonna pre-react to the criticism, unfortunately.

My School President is a high school story about pursuing your long-term crush and the final year of your high school experience. There was no way My School President was going to get an epilogue story. So instead they flipped the seats of a bunch of the characters. 

So, in this version of the My School President story, Gun is the school president and Tinn is the member of the school band. This time named Lion instead of Chinzhilla. Instead of Tiwson being the school president's best friend, they keep Por, who is his bestie in this. Tiwson is a member of the band. Sound and Win switch positions in this, where Sound is the long-term member of the band. Win is the new hot boy who shows up who they recruit. They also decide to flip Yo and Pat in the story with each other, even though they're still both in the band. Gim becomes the principal, and Photjanee becomes the operator of the milk ice cream bar. 

And in the process of this, like, the same beats from the show. We still hit them, but they play out very differently because the core characterization of these couples don't shift. Which forces us to reckon with certain aspects of the characters that kind of get glossed over in the idealism of the original My School President run. For example, Tinn is so much braver than Gun. Gun is kind of a coward who is gripped by an intense sense of self-doubt, and it starts off almost immediately. Like there's some political commentary with the way Gun is selected as the school president. 250 votes were cast by parents to make Gun the president instead of going through the school voting process instead, which works as a quick shorthand for the show, but also works as a commentary on Thai parliamentary politics.

And so like he's not the school president because he wants to help Tinn. He's just sort of pushed into the position by his mom, and so the moments that they hit along the way, like the dancing together scene. That plays out differently because Gun backs off and ends up dancing with someone else. The whole Questions thing they did to get close to film the thing goes differently because Gun won't ask Tinn directly, but Tinn does ask him, but Gun backs down. 

It was interesting because, like, everyone still chose each other. But, like, in a weird way Tiwson and Por were the strong couple of this outing, anchoring for the rest of them. 

Like, in the original show Tinn and Gun are so obviously together that the force of their mutual attraction sort of just creates opportunity for the rest of these relationships to bubble up. This time around, Tiwson and Por are working together in the background to help Tinn and Gun get together because they want to come out as a couple. Which I thought was an interesting switch-up as well.

Nini

I really enjoyed that, despite shifting the characters around in terms of their positions and roles, that the cores of the characters remained exactly the same. And you see how the same people living a different life would become a different person. Like you talk about Gun being kind of a coward and he is kind of a coward even in the OG show. Tinn’s the brave one, and Tinn has to be the brave one because Gun's the one who's gonna back down. But also the Gun of the alternate universe—the multiverse of cuteness as it is called—the Gun of the alternate universe hasn't spent his whole life on stage being judged and knocked back. And developing that thick skin that he talks to Tinn about in the OG series, so he is much less resilient than the Gun of the OG series. And that makes a difference in how he navigates his crush on Tinn. 

Similarly to that, Tinn in the AU has not had the strictness of the OG Photjanee forced on him the whole time. The strictness and the straight lace-ness because things are a little looser for him. And so he feels more able to take the ball and run with it when he realizes how he feels. They redo the scene of them spending the night at the school and walking around, and this is where Tinn turns the Gun and is like, “Look, do you like me?” which is something Tinn wouldn't necessarily have asked in the OG series. 

But then Gun, faced with the opportunity to actually lock it down with his crush. He says no and he runs away which is not a thing that Tinn would have done. If Gun had ginned up the, the actual courage to ask Tinn if he liked him Tinn would have been like [inhales] taken a deep breath and been like, “Hell yell, let’s date.” It's really interesting watching how they take the same characters and, just by moving their positions in the story, they create a story that's different. 

Ben

And yet all the people still choose each other. They basically state the big idea at one point. The Gun character says maybe in another lifetime things would have gone better, and the Por and Tiwson of this universe slap that idea down and go, “Yeah, but you're not in those universes. You're in this one. Make the most of the life you have.” 

Nini

I really enjoyed this outing. I enjoyed what they took the opportunity of the Our Skyy special to say and to do. I agree with you. I don't think that an epilogue would have worked. My School President is so of its setting. I do not think that moving the boys into college and following them there—I don't feel like I would have been interested in seeing that because that's not the point of My School President.

My tagline for My School President was “perfect high school romance” and I think that's where it should stay.

Okay, so my drama score for My School President was 9.5, and I took off a half point because nobody made out. And, I'm sorry, I am shallow. I wanted somebody to kiss in this special. I didn't care who. Just somebody. So I took off half a point. But the crack score is a 10 because I mean it's an AU. There is nothing crackier than that, so that works out to what, like a 9.75? Yeah, I'm good with that.

Ben

So, I gave this one a 9 because it was a little heady and My School President is not a really heady show for me. But the whole AU concept was. Now, I liked it, but in terms of, like, recommending it to the people who liked My School President, it's kind of hard because they wanted more of what they loved in My School President and this is not exactly that? So, I gave it a 9. 

But I'm also with Nini, like nobody kissed in this one. And, again, young actors. I'm totally fine with them not kissing, but…their characters in the original show have really specific kisses, and, if they were more experienced and veteran actors, we would have gotten a different type of kiss from these characters because they are coming at each other very differently. And we don't get to offer that particular comparison here. So, minor knock for me as well.

Nini

We didn't even get to talk about the best part which was them doing a fake music video for a fake Aof song that incorporated Aof’s top three hits in the music videos, which are He’s Coming to Me, Bad Buddy, and A Tale of Thousand Stars. 

Ben

We didn't even talk about that.

Nini

Tiw and Por got to do A Tale of Thousand Stars. Sound and Win get to do Bad Buddy. And Gun and Tinn get to do He’s Coming to Me. So they, they paid homage to their granddaddy in "Aof" Noppharnach Chaiyahwimhon. Three of the greatest GMMTV BLs, and also the ones that sort of set the stage for My School President.

1:00:24 - Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars

Nini

Onto the main event, and the main event of Our Skyy 2 was "Aof" Noppharnach giving the finger to GMMTV and saying, “Fuck you, I get four episodes to talk about what I want. And what I want to talk about is queer elders coming to terms with themselves, and I'm going to use anybody I want to talk about that.” AKA the Bad Buddy - A Tale of Thousand Stars crossover event. 

Ben, break it down for the people.

Ben

Whereas every other one of these projects except for My School President was in many ways an epilogue this is a mixture of…it's an epilogue or a post-show story for Tian and Phupha, but for Pran and Pat it's set between Bad Buddy episode 11 and Bad Buddy episode 12. It's the senior year for Pat and Pran. They are still closeted and having to keep up the architecture-engineering rivalry, though it looks like they've tried to smooth things over over the years because most of the beef is about who's bringing…brooms to…the charity project now. [laughs] But they're having some consternation because both groups need to put on a play as part of their class president activities, and after the normal Bad Buddy hijinks kick in, Pran reveals that he wants to adapt Tian's diary A Tale of Thousand Stars into a play for the architecture school.

And once they decide to follow this route, their teacher says that, because they don't have permission from the people whose story this actually is, they need to go find them and get said permission. Pran decides that they're going to go to Pha Pun Dao to talk to them directly, tell them how important it is that they want to tell this particular story. 

Before they can leave, Pat is forced to hang out with his engineering buddies and, because he has to pretend like he doesn't like Pran, he says something akin to, “That Pran guy. He'd be useless without me. I'm always having to help him.” Pran felt some kind of way about that and decided to leave Pat behind and go to Pha Pun Dao himself—much to his own chagrin—because he loves that boy, and got so nervous when he was walking around by himself without Pat. 

And over the course of these four episodes, Pat and Pran learn a little bit more about themselves and their dynamic—but mostly they really help Tian and Phupha work past some really fundamental struggles that they were having as a couple that Pat and Pran realized that they had moved past a long time ago. 

This crossover really elevates both works because Aof is obsessed with the idea that queer people make each other better and, by the end of this, we as a fandom seem rather split about it because those of us who liked both A Tale of Thousand Stars and Bad Buddy were able to appreciate how both stories impact each other. But, it seems like if you were really only into one of those stories, you resented the crossover in one way or another.

Nini

I think that's one reaction to it, but, I mean, we've seen among the clowns even people who were really into Bad Buddy but not so into A Tale of Thousand Stars really coming around on Tian and Phupha by the end of the special. I don't think we have like a Vice Versa situation in that, and we can discuss all the reasons that might be, but I think that definitely the crossover has made people who maybe didn't appreciate A Tale of Thousand Stars as much really appreciate A Tale of Thousand Stars and Tian and Phupha more now.

Ben

So where do you want to pick up with the beginning of this discussion? 

Nini

I think I want to start with the idea one of our fellow clowns first espoused, and really sort of set me off on this thought process, that this special—this whole crossover—is all about Phupha. Because, of all four characters in the OG shows, the only character who didn't really get an arc  was Phupha—this is Phupha’s arc. How do you feel about that as an idea—as a concept?

Ben

Since we're gonna start here, I'm gonna come out swinging.

Nini

Do it.

Ben

If you hate that Phupha is the focus character of this particular special, I need you to examine whether or not you actually care about gay men.

Phupha is a poor, hyper-masculine, closeted gay man, who's older than the other characters. He's about 35 at this point. There are so many queer people out there that you're never going to know about because they cannot live their lives loudly. 

We're recording in June right now. Pride month. Phupha’s not gonna show up at Bangkok Pride because 1) he's not coming to Bangkok, and 2) that's just not the place where he feels safe. It's not the place where he feels seen. It's not where all of the quiet gays are gonna go, or where the gays who have to be closeted for one reason or another are going to be. And it's easy to forget them because they're boring or they're less fun. 

I like that the story ends up being about: “How do we help Phupha break out of his own shell a little bit and let Tian love him just a little bit more?”

Nini

Phupha is this sort of stoic, very stern, character. I mean they lampooned that a little bit in the OG series for A Tale of Thousand Stars, and they lampoon him a little bit in the beginning of the crossover here, deflating him a little bit—kind of puncturing the whole stoic seme thing. But this is kind of who he is. 

This is, as you say, he's older. He's got real responsibilities. He's got a community to protect. He's…got people that he cares about that he needs to take care of. He is not the kind of guy who is going to, like you say, go to Bangkok Pride. He is the kind of guy who maybe has some internalized homophobia that he's dealing with—definitely has some internalized homophobia that he's dealing with. He is that guy who is trying to do the right thing all the time. And so often the right thing means him subsuming his actual desires in some kind of idea of him denying himself being what's best for the community.

And one of the things that the crossover brings forward, particularly in the person of Pat, who is diametrically opposed to the idea of subsuming himself for anybody. He only does it for Pran, and only, like, grudgingly. But, to put somebody like Pat, who is just loud and proud and just completely does not care about any ideas of masculinity or propriety or anything like that, and put that character in conversation of any kind with Phupha. It's so delightful to watch that happen because, of course, Pat immediately gloms onto him. He follows him around like a duckling—he imprints on him. 

He's like, “Oh, yes, Stern Daddy. I really, really like this vibe that you're givin’ off here. I'm just going to follow you around and bother the fuck out of you.” 

I think it was wen-kexing-apologist who said that Pat's entire job in the special is to terrorize the local elder gay. I Love it.

Ben

Pat and Pran. They both looked at Phupha, looked at each other, and then both said at the same time ‘WOULD.’ 

[both laugh]

Nini

I did see that. That was funny because it's true. They hang a lampshade on it at two points 1) when Pran runs into Phupha for the first time—him really having, like, a gay boy moment. [laughs] Like, the whole, like, slow-motion, turn-around, like, gasping gay boy moment.

Ben

He's read the, the diary and he's like “I get it.” Immediately!

[both laugh]

Nini

And then, to have Pat's moment come, where—because Pat's flirtation language is competition. So, of course he basically challenges Phupha to a duel in the form of a drinking contest. And then they wake up shirtless next to each other and think that they might have maybe…done something— 

Ben

They definitely did some stuff.

Nini

They made out. Just a little bit. They kissed a little bit. 

But I—I loved that! I loved that they were both really into him. Like it was clear that they were both attracted to him. It was very gay and very fun. But also they're just like, “No, I get it.” They—they both looked and they were just like, “Tian, I get you. I understand why you live in this village with [both laugh] no running water, and you have to sleep under a mosquito net every night. I get you! I understand you because, for this man, I would do these things.” Like, they get it.

It's kind of delightful.

Ben

I like how, when Pran first gets to the village, and Phupha passes out, Tian runs up and Pran’s like ‘who are you’ and Tian's like, “No. Who the fuck are you?”

[Nini laughs]

Ben

And, like, if Tian had been allowed to have a knife…

Nini

Pran would have been stopped at that point—fully stabbed. “Like, who the fuck are you and why are you talking to my man?” [laughs] Like, Tian lives in the village because he doesn't want anybody else to see Phupha. 

[both laugh]

Nini

Because he knows the minute any of these whores take a look at his man, if it's going to be a problem. 

Ben

In terms of the serious stuff. So, they've shown up to convince them to sign these papers. Going into this Pat and Pran are fighting a little bit because Pran feels guilty, and part of this journey for him was maybe seeing, like, if he actually needed Pat as much as he does. And he learns very quickly that he is not at his best without Pat. 

It's funny because Pat always knew this. Pat seemed to know already. Like, he says it in like episode 5 of Bad Buddy that he was not at his best when Pran was gone. 

But Pran wants to prove he doesn't need Pat's help, and when Pran shows up to try and convince him to sign Tian's like, “Fuck yeah! I wrote the diary so people would…maybe want to become teachers and appreciate what I have out here. Absolutely!” Phupha's like, “No, y'all not going to present me as some lovesick fool on your little stage.” 

And then Pran tries to talk to Phupha a couple of times and fails massively at it. Tries to lie to Phupha. And then Pat blocks the shit out of that by calling out the bullshit right away, because he's pissed at Pran for running off without him. So he's sabotaging some of Pran's efforts. And it isn't until the two of them start working together that they actually start making any fucking progress because…that's who they are.

Nini

But I think there's also, like, a really valid point to the fact that Pran—he tries to talk to Phupha about it at first and Phupha is not having it. You're right. But one of the reasons that Phupha is not having it is because he's looking at these kids and he's thinking, “These kids do not understand me. These kids have no idea of what my life is like. These kids have no idea of what our lives are like. These kids have never faced any kind of serious challenge. These are two dumb kids. I'm not gonna give them time of day. They don't get to tell my story.” 

And then, by the end, the thing that actually gets Phupha to agree to let them tell his story…is Pran actually dropping the bullshit—as you said—and saying to him, “You think I don't know what it's like to feel insecure? You think I don't know what it's like to feel like my partner deserves better than me? You think I don't know what that feels like? Oh, believe you me, I know what that feels like.” 

And, because at this point Phupha has spent an enormous amount of time with Pat, he's like,

“Okay, yeah, maybe you do understand what I'm going through.” 

And the way that that works out in the end—and I mean we're kind of skipping back and forth through the story at this point—but the way that that works out at the end is Phupha saying, “Okay, you get to tell my story, but you have to tell my story because you understand me.” His condition for signing off on them doing the play is that they play the roles of him and Tian, because they understand him. I thought that was really—a really great way to follow that thread through the story. I really enjoyed that part.

Ben

I like the subtle way Aof played with our expectations about who would identify with who. Like, they made Tian and Pran resemble each other. Tian was like, “Fuck this twink,” right away as soon as Pran showed up. 

[Nini laughs]

But then, like, Pran helps him. Pran helps him in the class and Tian softens very quickly to Pran. 

Because of how physically macho Pat is—like, there's this expectation that he and Phupha are gonna be super similar to each other—and there's an interesting subtle commentary that Aof does there in that it's the more creative one, who's way too close to his mom, who's more like the hyper-masculine dude, because both of them are masking in their lives. 

Like, Phupha is hyper-masculine because that's what's expected of him. And like people pick at Phupha about this a little bit, but he is trying to live up to the role that he is told he's supposed to fulfill. And Pran also suffers under the expectations of who his mom expects him to be, and it's interesting for me that Aof, over the course of these three episodes when they're all together, Aof says Pran and Phupha have more in common because they are carrying so much homophobia on their shoulders, and that's why the two of them probably understand each other best.

Nini

Using the yaoi tropes again, a talk about who is the seme and who's the uke in the story in terms of who's the pursuer and who's the pursued, and…if you look at it, like, then you can clearly see that it's Tian and Pat who are aligned because Pat pursued Pran and Tian pursued Phupha. They are the semes even though it seems that Tian would be an uke. He's not. He actually pursued Phupha. 

So in the narrative sense. He's the seme. It's just very fun, this playing with the idea of what is a seme and what is an uke. And, again to use the yaoi terms—which you know I don't like to use ‘cause I don't really know the yaoi or rock with the yaoi. But, that idea of who is…pursuing the relationship, leading the relationship—like that's Tian and that's Pat. 

And in terms of who is being pulled along by their partner in a kind of a way that's Phupha and that’s Pran. So, I do like how Aof leans into this…because again, it subverts expectations in a particular kind of way. But also it makes so much sense. 

Ben

There's two subtle things that I really want to point out, and I want to talk about them a little.

First, Pat and Pran use titles for Tian and Phupha the whole time. And the other thing is about how nobody really knows anything about anybody in this. So, like, we're gonna call them Tian and Phupha, Pat and Pran, because we're inside of these people's stories with them. But it's interesting to me that Pran and Pat never cross a familiarity line with Tian and Phupha in the brief time they're with them. They refer to them as Teacher and Chief only the entire time.

Nini

I like that because it's a nod to their roles as adults because Pat and Pran are still kids. They're still college students, and Tian and Phupha are adults to them. But, in some ways, Pat and Pran have progressed much further in their relationship than Tian and Phupha have because they've been through more—just from the nature of their whole history. And they've crossed barriers and boundaries and, and parts of their relationship that Tian and Phupha are just confronting or haven't even confronted yet. And I liked that. 

I liked, also, that interplay of the younger ones being the ones to teach the older ones something. I really like that because I feel like that's what's happening now not just in—not just in queer circles—because that's definitely happening in queer circles. But also just in terms of generalization. Like, if you're not a complete douche and you're our age—well I say our age. I'm about 10 years older than Ben. Not ten, but…when you've crossed a certain Rubicon in the adulting game. Let's put it that way.

Right now. The kids are teaching us like a whole bunch of stuff as long as you're not a dick, like, and you remain open, the kids can teach you all kinds of shit that you never thought was possible to learn about yourself at this stage in your life. And I really like that Aof played with that because Aof’s about my age, and I like that he is the kind of person who understands that the young uns have things to teach us as well. Like, we have things to teach them—clearly and obviously—and we want to make a better world for them—clearly and obviously. But also, there's so much shit that we can learn from them when it comes to just fucking unclenching, because that's what happens here! Like, all of this is in service of Phupha just fucking unclenching. 

Ben

And this is what I mean about having other queer people, like it isn't just about your boyfriend. You need queer friends. Like, Tian blossoms almost immediately when he realizes that Pat and Pran are a couple—that they're not just friends. As soon as Pat flirts with him a little bit at breakfast and Pran shoves a spoon into his mouth, you can see Tian instantly relaxes and it's like, “Okay” and is more receptive to what these two are here for. And for Phupha. Like, yeah, it's one thing to just be into Tian and that be a thing, but to have someone like Pat roaming around actively flirting with him all the time, that also forced Phupha to reckon with who he is. 

And it's funny, because, like, Pat and Pran are actually closeted. They basically, like, admit it to Tian and Phupha as a sort of a de facto thing. But, like, the two of them are away from the world where they have to hide. So they're on top of each other. They're constantly touching each other. They're flirting constantly…

Nini

They're fucking in the tent twenty feet away from them. [laughs]

Ben

We'll get there in a second. We’ll be there in a second. [Nini laughs] But they're so obviously obsessed with each other. And like Nini said, like during the rescue bit, Kampung is not in the tent with them where he's supposed to be. And so the boys are like, “Oh, I guess the kid decided to go stay with Phupha and Tian. Great! My foot is hurting me because I twisted my ankle, but let's get it in!” And then in the morning Pat limps to breakfast asking, “What's my score for last night?”

Nini

I love that they just fuck their way through all their problems. It's delightful. I enjoy it.

Ben

One of the sad things with Tian and Phupha is…they have to keep waiting for the other person to be asleep to be affectionate with them, and that's one of the big things that I'm really glad that they start to work through towards the end of this. Like, I'm really proud of Phupha for listening to the man who he loves, and the person who is inspired by the man who he loves. 

Like, it’s so fascinating. Like—like Pran ran on this whole trip thinking he was Tian, met Phupha, realized he was Phupha, and was able to reach across that gap and say, “Please trust me. We got you.” And Phupha said, “Okay.” 

There's a lot of consternation in the fandom right now about taking score between Pat and Pran about who sacrifices more, or what should or shouldn't be said. I'm not particularly interested in that particular conversation. Pat and Pran love each other. They're adults. They've committed to each other. Sometimes you're gonna be with other gays and you're not going to understand how they work, and you just have to accept that their dynamic is their dynamic. It's not about who wins. It's about who cares for you—and they clearly care for each other.

Nini

I think part of what it is, as well, is—it sounds bad, but go with me on this right? I am a great proponent of therapy. I believe in it. I am in therapy. I have been in therapy for years. I recommend therapy to everybody. But there is a certain level of therapized that I think is not necessarily good for us…And that is as somebody who believes in the power of therapy to change and save lives. I think that this idea that everything is pathologized, that you always have to be on the lookout because somebody's trying to get you in some kind of way—I think that it can be harmful to relationships and to our understanding of relationships in certain ways, because not everything that is unbalanced or imbalanced is harmful. 

And I think that one of the problems that I'm having with…not so much the show, but the fandom reaction to it is…that yes, Pat and Pran’s relationship looks unbalanced from the outside. It probably is unbalanced in certain ways. But that doesn't mean that it's harmful. But there's this idea that because of—again this is a, a therapized lens that unbalanced equals harmful, and I don't think that's necessarily the case. 

One of the things that I really don't grok onto and, to be fair…I am very…I am a Bad Buddy fun. I am a Pat and Pran fan. I am a fan of the characters separately and together. And one of the things that…I am really personally sticky and icky about is this idea in certain parts…that Pat and Pran do not love each other equally, or Pran does not love Pat enough, or Pat loves Pran more—all these ideas of particular kind of imbalances between them. And my whole thing is—Who are they and what do they need and what do they want from each other? What does Pat actually need from Pran? Is he getting it? He absolutely is.

So this idea of keeping score between the characters—or keeping score in relationships in general if you, if you broaden out to the idea of relationships—I feel like it doesn't serve. I feel like it's…reductive. And I feel like looking at these characters through that lens is not the way that Aof is portraying these characters, or wants the audience to look at these characters. Because I think that Aof is a person who is…very tuned into certain ideas that he wants to portray—certain things that he wants to portray about queerness and queer community and queer relationships—and…I think that to reduce probably the greatest queer relationship that he has put on screen in Pat and Pran to score keeping, when score keeping is a part of their history that they have deliberately stepped away from because they were forced into it. I feel like it misunderstands what he's trying to do and say with these characters…

And that's just my opinion, and I will admit a hundred percent that I am very precious about these two particular characters. I'm very precious about a lot of Aof characters because I feel that Aof writes characters in a way that I understand them intrinsically. But these two characters in particular I feel very precious about. And, I feel like to see them like that in the context of somehow keeping score between them is to not see them at all.

Ben

Pat only cares about one score and he asks Pran for it directly every morning.

Nini

And that's a fact. [laughs]

Ben

And that's the big thing for me! Like, they were kind of having a fight and most of it was Pran’s insecurity because Pran is a little bit embarrassed about what he's asked Pat to do for him. And they get over that almost immediately. They get to Pha Pun Dao. They see Tian and Phupha and they're like, “Oh, man. These guys are older than us, but they're like…four episodes behind us. [laughs] So, we got to catch these gays up quick!” And they—they instantly get over whatever their beef is and they start playing out their kinks the way they always do. They start cosplaying as Tian and Phupha…and flirting with each other.

Nini

And they do in the end have a little bit of a resolution to their…really not much of a fight, fight. And, there's two resolutions, really. 

The first resolution is the resolution they get in Pha Pun Dao which is, “Look, I can't fucking live without you, and you can't fucking live without me, and we agree on that. So, let's dead the shit.” And they did! And it was fine, because the shit was never really live in terms of a fight being live in the first place. They were fucking their way through that whole fight…and that's how they deal with things, and it works for them, and it's fine. 

And then they get a second resolution that Phupha gives them—a gift—which is, “I get to be in the open with you, even if it's just on stage. I get to be a lover in public.” And it works for me.

Ben

They even tried to redeem Wai a little bit.

Nini

It's still fuck Wai forever in these parts.

Ben

[laughs] He doesn't drop the curtain this time. Instead, he's like, “Give the people the kiss they need!”

Nini

It's still fuck Wai forever in these parts. [laughs]

Ben

And it's interesting, too, in terms of that particular gift. It works out in a couple of ways because Phupha gets to see a bunch of people react to their story. People are loving it. Lesbians are crying over them. One of the lesbians is moaning, “Why don't they just fuck already!” 

[both laugh]

Ben

He gets to see people love them through this play, and then this gives Pran something that he's wanted: Pran his on socials after the play seeing people making fanvids about him and Pat. Which is something that he wants. He wants to be in the open with Pat because he knows that's what Pat wants, and this is the closest they're gonna get for now. And he is relieved to just see that. 

But again, Pat is not worried about that. He's like, “Oh good, good. Did you get what you want?” and he's like, “All right. Let's stop fucking around with all this other stuff. Can we kiss as ourselves now?” 

And they do!

Nini

We've talked a lot about Pat and Pran here and we've kind of scratched the surface on Tian and Phupha. But I really want to get into Phupha because the main thing that the special is doing is unlocking Phupha for the audience, because—like I said—all the other characters have had their arcs in the OG series that we're looking at. Only Phupha has really been holding the line, so to speak. 

And this is Phupha's unveiling. It's his opening. This is Phupha getting harassed by a baby gay. Terrorized, actually, by a baby gay. Realizing that, “Oh my god. The baby gays came to town, and they fucked in a tent twenty feet away from us, and the world didn't fucking end. So maybe…I, too, can fuck my man and the world won’t end.” 

[both laugh]

And then he proceeds to do just that.

Ben

I really like the way Aof went about doing it. Phupha primps himself up, rents an expensive vehicle, picks up Tian, and then goes with Tian to a cute cafe and lets Tian show him off a little bit, even if it made him a little bit nervous to be fawned over.

Nini

He let Tian, like, dress him up! Like, he let Tian take him shopping! He let Tian babygirl him a little bit. He let Tian spend a little money! It was nice!

Ben

That felt like a big deal because he mentioned it. He's like the money on one of these dishes could feed the village for a week in Pha Pun Dao, but he lets it go. Tian is actually a rich kid. This is part of what Phupha knows Tian gave up to be with him and so, when they're in Bangkok, he relents. He lets Tian dress him up like a Ken until Tian is satisfied with the look. And unsurprisingly, Tian chooses something very sleek, masculine, and comfortable for Phupha.

And then Phupha shows up and meets the parents. This is a huge deal too because Phupha was nervous about this because he feels like he took their son from them, and that he overstepped because Tian's dad was once a superior in the military. And all they say is, “We're gonna give you the thing that's most important to us. Take care of it.” And they acknowledge his filial piety to his father when Tian—when Phupha—admits that the reason he's a forest ranger is because his dad loved that mountain and felt a need to take care of it and the people who maintain it. And they were like, “Respect that.”

And then he proposes!

Nini

Okay y’all know how I feel about the BL weddings and the BL proposals. Y’all know that I am usually kind of, like, sitting in the corner, like, with my hands over my eyes. But this one, y'all, I was deep in my feelings. The tears came out. It was beautiful. I fucking loved this proposal. It was perfect.

Ben

I think I liked it because it wasn't a grand gesture in front of a bunch of people.

Nini

That's exactly why I liked it. [laughs]

Ben

It was for them. It was Phupha finally saying that he wasn't going to hold back anymore, and then they had loud obnoxious sex in the hotel room.

Nini

I just like that the loud obnoxious sex started like way before this. Like, the loud obnoxious sex started—like the idea of loud obnoxious sex of course was started by Pat, because that's Pat's entire brand. When he was walking around in the forest with Phupha, like, pretending to worry about Pran when he knows Pran is gonna be fine, and telling Phupha, like, “I mean I'm just going to sniff him out and, like, what do you mean you're not going to sniff out your man. Like, don't you know what he smells like? He smells so good.”

[both laugh]

Ben

You know, I don't think that's underlined really loudly in the show but like Pat says it quite plainly to Tian. He's like, “We don't need to go roaming around. Phupha’s experienced and good at his job, and Pran's really smart. We should really just stay here.”

[both laugh]

Like, nobody believes in Pran more than Pat.

Nini

Nobody. Absolutely nobody. Pat is like, “Listen. He's gonna be fine. I'm not particularly worried about him.” Like, both times. Both when he was wandering around in the woods with Phupha and when he was trying to get Tian to sit his ass down and be a heart patient like he's supposed to be. Both times he's just like, “I am not worried about Pran. Like, can we just focus on what the real problem is here. The real problem here is that your man is going unsniffed. Y’all are having a fight that y'all don't need to be having.” 

I loved Pat’s whole energy in Pha Pun Dao. He was just like, “I'm just gonna vibe. I'm just glad to be here. I like being able to be out in the open with Pran. We are literally a million miles away from Bangkok. I can just be out here and just love on Pran the way that I feel like lovin’ on Pran—” 

Ben

“I'm here to test the structural integrity of the teacher's house.”

Nini

All of that! “I'm here to fuck in a tent and ask the next morning if I did good.” He was just vibing the entire time, and then he got the bonus vibe of running into Phupha who he has—I'm sorry—a major fucking crush on. He does. It’s canon. We're gonna leave it at that. He brought the sex pest fairy godmother energy to Pha Pun Dao, and he's just like, “Listen, y'all are having a fight. Have you tried fucking about it? I have found that to be a very—”

[Ben laughs]

“—I found that to be very helpful method of solving problems. Y’all should just fuck! Give him a good old sniff. He smells real good. Have you noticed that?” 

And it works! Like, Phupha at first is like, “Oh my God, get this kid away from me.”

Ben

Pat said, “Dick is not magical. It doesn't fix you. But! You look like you could use a little bit of a stress release.”

[both laugh]

Nini

And he's not wrong. And I love that despite the fact that Phupha spends the entire time being like, “Oh my God, child, get away from me. You are so annoying.” The minute Patt leaves, he's just like, “Okay. I'm [gonna] try what the kid said.” 

And he does it!

Ben

He goes back to all of their most romantic moments that he downplayed previously and gives them to Tian. Tian doesn't even know what to do with it at first because they've been so cold for a while.

Nini

He takes Tian back to the waterfall, and he's just like, “You said that I sneaked to look at you and I did but I ain't sneaking now! I'ma look.” And then he goes further than that. He said, “Not only am I going to look. I am going to make sure that you get a good look.” 

Ben

[singsong] Take a good hard look!

Nini

And like, like you said at first Tian is like, “What is happening here?” because Phupha is being so open, which I don't think he's ever been before.

Ben

And, like, Phupha was kind of manipulative about it because he made Tian relent and so Tian thought he was being, like, punished at first. Like, Phupha was teasing him because Tian's never made his attraction really quiet.

And then they finally get the stern dicking they've been needing. And Phupha…steals a line from the kids: “What's my score for last night?”

Nini

It was so fun. And Tian is just like, “Your what?” Like, Tian is fully enjoying this and I love that for him because one of the things I think people forget throughout the course of A Tale of Thousand Stars is that the Tian who starts the tale—he's sexy! Tian at the beginning of the story, he's got this edge to him. The sexy edge, and that kinda gets whittled away a little bit in Pha Pun Dao. But, that's still who he is. 

And I like that at the end of the tale when we get here to the epilogue that he gets to be that again. He gets to pull out that sexy edge that is part of him and use it on his man. Like, he babygirls him, he takes him shopping, and then, when he lookin’ all nice, he leans into him and he be like, “You're real handsome. Do you have a boyfriend?” And I'm just like this is Tian! This is Tian that I remember!

Ben

And then he pushes Phupha in that bed, and he's like, “I've been waiting for five years. I'm ‘bout to get what's mine.”

[both laugh]

Nini

Phupha’s like, “What are you doing?” He's like, “Don't worry about it.” [laughs]

Ben

He’s like, “Don't worry about it, babygirl. I’ma take care of you tonight.”

[both laugh]

Nini

And I love that. I love that so much. Phupha is, like, panicked about it for a minute, and he's like [sighs]. He's decides. He's like, “Let go, let flow.” He's like, “All right. This how you want it?” and Tian's like, “Uh-huh,” and he's like, “All right, let's do this!” [laughs] I loved It. I loved it so much. 

I love that at this stage of his life Phupha just learns to like—you know what? He's like, “Sometimes you just gotta un-fucking-clench.” And he just, he lets it all go.

Ben

I don't usually like talking about sexual positions around here because…of the way people project onto them, but I really like the implication in the final scene that this might be the first time Phupha really switches with Tian in a way that's also him emotionally… because you do have to unclench if you want to enjoy that particular act.

Nini

[laughs] In more ways than one!

Ben

It works really well because of the proposal. Like, Phupha's putting it all in the line. He's actually putting himself on the line. And he's going to be a complete partner to Tian, and is also going to relent and let Tian have some of the things that he wants. 

Like Tian is happy in Pha Pun Dao. He doesn't hate their lives there. He just says, “I want you to come home and see my parents once a year. It's important to me. I just want you to come down for that. And when we're here, let me treat you nicely.” 

Like, even if their lives aren't gonna always be there—like Tian may someday have to take care of the responsibilities of his parents getting older. But, I feel better about them facing that now as two people who are fully committed to each other than Phupha’s whole waiting-for-the-other-shoe-to-drop thing all the time.

Nini

I just…really liked…getting to see…Phupha just…be… We never get to see him just be. Once he internalizes what Pat and Pran say to him, at every point from then what we see is him getting to just be. Yeah, in a slutty way—which I personally enjoy. But also just not worrying so much about what the things he's doing say about him. And yeah, there are, like, moments of that, like, when they get to the play and the curtain goes up, you see him starting to, like, freak out a little bit. But as the play goes on he relaxes.

I like that he leans into both the relaxed energy and the slutty energy, because I feel like the slutty energy is incredibly important. Like, one of the things that I really enjoyed about the final episode of the crossover was that mosquito net moment because—

Ben

Oh my God…finally.

Nini

That's so many things! That's Aof acknowledging that he was maybe slightly too precious with their sexuality in A Tale of Thousand Stars. That's Aof acknowledging that, maybe yeah, they should have kissed there. That's also Phupha acknowledging a bunch of stuff. That's also Tian getting to recast those moments in his mind.

Ben

I also love that Aof basically gave them the Bad Buddy post-credits scene.

Nini

Now, everybody’s saying that, but to me I just remember that the A Tale of Thousand Stars post-credits scene wasn't sideways either. Like, they wrastled in that A Tale of Thousand Stars post-credits scene. Like, Tian had to ask for the dick but he got it.

Ben

I'm just very satisfied by the outing this time.

Nini

I really, really enjoyed it, and I think that a lot of the Sturm und Drang around it is because of these ideas—again once again—these ideas about balance, and feeling like it was maybe unbalanced between Pat and Pran, and Tian and Phupha. But I don't think those ideas of balance are relevant to what Aof was trying to do here. I think that using Pat and Pran—who are a solid, established couple who we know are pulling through anything because we've seen their future already—using them as a conduit, or a catalyst, or a support to pull Tian and Phupha through a hurdle that could break them. I was fine with it in the end. 

Like, I went through a lot of like—you know. I mean, you know because you were in these discussions with me and you and the clowns, like, sort of pulling through, like, how we feel about this. 

Ben

Everybody else is having a difficult time. I was vibing so hard for like—[laughs] for like two weeks! Everybody else is like, “Oh I don't like this episode!!” Like, everybody was mad after episode 3! Me…I thought that episode was great. They're like, “I hate how long they were lost in the woods.” I'm like, “Well, that was the whole point.”

They were lost in the woods. They were all circling around an issue, and the issue is really simple. Like, just sit still and let other people find you. Because that's what you need to do, baby gays, sometimes, it's sit still so we can fucking find you! And help you!

[both laugh]

Ben

All right! Let's talk about the actors.

Nini

Watching these four get to vibe together. I want to see it. And not just the four of them vibing together, but…the…pairings because they gave us like a mix and match. So, they gave us every single pairing that you could get out of these four actors, and everyone was delightful and delectable. And I enjoyed every single one of them, but I particularly enjoyed pairing Ohm with Earth. 

Ben

I really liked… the pairing of Nanon and Mix, and I don't know what we need to do to see those two work together again, but I would like to see the two of them take on meaty characters together.

Nini

I mean they're gonna be in The Jungle together. 

Ben

Are they? Well well well…

Nini

Yeah, maybe you might have to watch The Jungle. [laughs]

Ben might have to watch a straight show!

Ben

No…we just did that! It sucked!

[both laugh]

Ben

I loved Mix in this. Like, we've seen MIx and Earth together a couple of times, and you talked about this during episode two. Their drunken walk home together felt like Phupha and Tian, not Jim and Wen.

Nini

They made it feel so different, even with similar framing, even with similar camera work, even with the same actors, and the same director. They made that moment feel completely different from Jim and Wen's moment doing the same activity, and I—hats off, I bow down. I appreciate actors—y’all know that.

Ben

I like how all four of them managed to make their dynamics feel lived in.

Like, Pat and Pran felt settled. Like, they have some long-term difficulties to deal with—some of which are never gonna go away—but it was kind of interesting for me knowing that they're rock solid by the end of BB 12 that you can see them starting to get there now. Where Pran is nervous that this can't work forever because Pat is too loud. He…needs to be loud about stuff.

But, like, you can see the signs here of them giving themselves openings. Here, like with the play, with Pat going home to his dad later and giving him the liquor that Pran got in Singapore, loudly climbing through Pran's window when he comes back to Bangkok…to go play with his guitar in his room.

Nini

Pat needs to be loud. Pran knows Pat needs to be loud. And the journey that they're setting off on through the special—I can't even say that it culminates in Bad Buddy 12 ‘cause it doesn't. It continues in Bad Buddy 12, but it culminates at some point in a future that we don't get to see. And there's something to be said about Aof putting that way-way off…and the things that he wants to say to the baby gays and the elder gays.

Hoo! Man, I've been feeling Aof lately. Like, Moonlight Chicken, like, unraveled something in me. And going back to some of his earlier works in the light of Moonlight Chicken because part of the whole point of the crossover—and of crossovers in general—but in this particular crossover is intertextuality. When we were talking about Bad Buddy. When we were, like, thick in the things of Bad Buddy. We're talking about text and subtext and metatext working together to tell this story, and the thing that didn't become a part of that story—there were hints of it, mostly in the Pa and Ink storyline—but the thing that was hinted at, but not really fully grasped onto, was intertextuality.

Like, the conversation that different pieces of art are having between themselves. And one thing that this special—that the crossover delves into now—is the intertextuality.

Ben

I particularly like it because you have two leads interacting with each other and I find that sometimes we can get a little too archetypical about the leads of shows. By forcing the audience to consider who Pat and Pran are relative to Tian and Phupha, it forces you to revisit how you've been viewing them the whole time. Like, Pran thinking that he was Tian, and us maybe getting a little too caught up in that. Because, like we called it at the end of the first episode! We're like, “Why does he look so much like Tian? That feels off.” And it was off! 

Oh. I wasn't trying to make a pun there.

He's not like Tian. Like, as soon as I saw them I was like, “Why would they compare him to Tian? He doesn't feel like Tian to me?” I was right! And so, we get to the end of this whole shebang, and I am having a blast. Like I'm watching people having to sort themselves out like “Did I like this? Did I not like this?” 

I was drinking a mojito, having a good time, after this ended. I was drunk at the reception hanging out with some lesbians.

Nini

I mean in the end is it not the place that you want to be? I feel like it all worked out super well, and one of the reasons that it worked out super well is that these two stories had to be in some ways told together. And yeah, one got a little subsumed to the other. But that's the way that it had to be at this point in time.

Ben

I think it was pragmatic.

Nini

Yeah, I think if we had caught up with them and done this crossover at a different stage in each of their relationships a different problem would have come to the surface, and maybe a different arrangement of the two couples might have happened. And that's also something that we need to think about in terms of the specifics of when in the story narrative and the timeline of the stories that Aof chose to set this particular crossover. 

When it comes to Aof I'm always thinking about what he's trying to do, because one of the things that has been very clear to me throughout his oeuvre, but particularly in Bad Buddy, is that…he is always going to tell the story that he wants to tell. He's not overly concerned about making it fit into certain narrative structures. He's not overly concerned about making it fit into audience expectations. He wants to tell certain stories, and that's what he's gonna do. And that was made very clear to me with Bad Buddy 12, because that defied every narrative expectation—every audience expectation—to speak a truth that Aof had on his spirit.

Ben

The other thing for me—this is the part where I’m gonna get a little bit grumpy again. It is expensive to make television. Like, the biggest thing that stands out to me with all of Our Skyy is how stripped-down all of it looked.

Like they filmed in like one or two locations at most it felt like half the time, and they had really short filming schedules, and everybody had to be good very quickly. There's not a lot of runup time. It feels like people just brought whatever they still had left from the last performance and they just ran with it. Everybody had to be really good, and it's expensive to film on that mountain. And so Aof needed to justify that particular crossover, by using the most potent talent he had.

Like, there's a huge Bad Buddy fandom. There's a pretty solid contingent of people who like A Tale of Thousand Stars. And for A Tale of Thousand Stars to get something good, he needed to merge the Bad Buddy budget with the Thousand Stars budget.

But also, they didn't want to touch their ending, which is why he sets Bad Buddy before its ending, but Tian and Phupha only at the beginning of their romance when we leave them. They have more work to do, so they can have an epilogue story that really hammers into some really interesting stuff, which we just spent the last hour or so talking about. 

But it's done really efficiently! Like for the most part we all seem to enjoy Our Skyy, and they manage to do that with their limited budget. Like Pat and Pran are in a different room because it's probably cheaper to use this room. There's less people in Pha Pun Dao this time. Au is running around in the background as an extra! Wasn't he the damn director of the Kwan and Riam play? [shushes] Don't pay attention to that. A bunch of guys are running around with masks on—that's probably just crew members!

Nini

I did sort of love that chewing gum and string energy these productions can bring that is really sort of the heart of the Our Skyy franchise. I feel like I like that because to me that means it's for the art. If you're going to do this on chewing gum and string it's because you really fucking care. Like if you're going to do a story like this on string and chewing gum, it's because you really want to tell this fucking story. And in the end that's where I land on the vast majority of Our Skyy 2.

Ben

So what's our final verdict on Our Skyy then? Worth it? Not worth it?

Nini

Before we get to our final verdict on our Our Skyy, we didn't give our final verdict on the crossover. 

Ben

Oh, it's a 10. [slams desk and laughs]

Nini

It's a 10! It's a 10! It's a 10! Let's just—let's just—let's let it go. Right? It's a 10 for drama and a 10 for crack because what is more cracky than a crossover? And so it averages out to 10. Have I got quibbles with it? Yes. Do they, in the grand scheme of things, matter to my enjoyment of it? Absolutely not. It's a 10—point blank period.

Ben

It didn't waste my time. They set out a really interesting premise: what if Tian published his diary? What if “lonely queer looking for meaning and community” Pran found it? What if he met them? What do they do if they meet each other? Like, they follow through on that in a way that gave us so much to talk about for two weeks. 

And it was fun seeing the whole fandom come alive and see people revisit characters! It was fun seeing people change their opinions on Phupha, and even Earth and Mix as the result of watching this. That was so much fun. 

Nini

It was delightful. It was enjoyable. It was meaningful. It was narratively enjoyable at least for me, it was a 10. I loved it and one of the things that I love most about it is that Pat gets to lick Pran's finger this time.

Ben

Oh my god.

Nini

I mean, it's just the slutiness of it all! Pat gets to lick Pran's finger. Phupha gets to touch his titties in a sexy kind of way. They get to make out with that damn mosquito net, and I enjoyed every single second of it. I laughed, I cried, I…felt warmth deep inside. 

1:59:13 - Overall Score for Our Skyy 2

Nini

All that said, in terms of the overall—let’s give an overall score for Our Skyy 2. Ben, what do you think?

Ben

With the caveat that you should only really engage with the Our Skyy content if you liked the original show, it's a 9. 

Like, I didn't like Vice Versa and I didn't like Star in My Mind when I watched them the first time, and so everything I didn't like about those shows was present in their Our Skyy offerings. I don't think it's very fair of me to be especially mean about their Our Skyy offerings when they are in line with what the audience has been taught to expect. If the audience likes that more power to them. But for the six shows that I genuinely liked, I had a good time with these. 

Like, the weakest shows in this that I had a hard time with on the front end were A Boss and a Babe and Never Let Me Go. And I really liked what Jojo did with Never Let Me Go, and I thought that A Boss and a Babe actually had a really interesting story this time. But I loved The Eclipse and I thought Golf was great with this outing. I thought the cast was great in The Eclipse outing, and I felt like that about Bad Buddy and A Tale of Thousand Stars, and I felt like that about My School President. 

I had a great time! It gets a 9 overall. Like, there are quibbles—it's not always the best thing, and it forces you to maybe look back at a show and alter the way you felt about it. And if you'd rather lock the show in a mental prism of where you last left it, maybe don't watch these offerings? But if you grow and change, and you kind of want to imagine what your characters are like if they also grow and change, then maybe it's worth checking out for you. 

It's a 9. Highly recommended.

Nini

For you, the score is always about a recommendation. For me, it's always about do I like this? How much do I like this? And for me, for the vast majority of Our Skyy, I fuckin’ loved it. So I also give it a 9. I don't have any caveats about recommending it to anybody or anything like that. I just had, for the most part, a whale of a fucking time. And so, it's a 9! I enjoyed myself! 

So kind of in our own form of intertextuality harkening back to our Season 2: Electric Boogaloo episode of the Spring Series, and talking about sequels. So, Ben, after Our Skyy 2, how are you feeling about sequels?

Ben

Enthusiastic? [laughs] I mean, come on, man, like, this was fucking good. We need to think about how these characters stay together. That can be so rewarding to think about and it's good for the audience to think about it. 

I hope we see Pat and Pran in 10 years after their little sprout has blossomed, and maybe they're considering something else. I'm totally down to return to characters every couple of years for check-ins. That totally works for me, and I think that there is value in transitioning the types of stories we tell with characters over time, because they're going to face a variety of situations over time, so it can be so, so rewarding for us as viewers to go on those new journeys with them.

Nini

How do I…feel about sequels? Again, it's the same way I always feel. I feel like when there's story still to tell, I'm ready to see it. I'm ready to hear it. And if I feel like there isn't anything left to say, then I'm not interested. That's largely where I landed with the Our Skyy episodes for the most part where I felt like there was story left to tell. I thoroughly enjoyed getting that story and then those, like Star in My Mind, where I felt like there was no story, I wasn’t really interested. 

So, do I feel pumped about sequels and the whole idea of following these boys into the “staying together” part of things? Yes, that's something that I'm always going to enjoy, and if that means conflict, I am fine with that. I enjoy watching them navigate that, whether the conflict is minor or  major, I am having a blast with that in my mind. 

And…I can't wait for Our Skyy 3. 

That is going to wrap us up on the Our Skyy 2 episode. Y'all are going to hear the edited version of this, but I just want you all to know that we've been talking for three hours, and we've been having a great time. See y’all in the next one. Say bye to the people, Ben.

Ben

Welcome back, my boyfriend!

Nini

[laughs] Bye.

[zapreportsblog]

Writing Prompts

1. Ignorance is a disease so back up asshole, I ain’t trying to catch your germs

2. “Look around, what do you see? Nothing? Yeah, cause that’s how many fucks were given!”

3. “Your hot temper makes for a great heater.”

4. “You’re the cum drop your mother should’ve swallowed.”

5. “Don’t speak please, you’re lowering this whole neighborhoods IQ.”

6. “I’m in shock, see I’m wearing a blanket.”

7. “Fallings just like falling expect with a more permanent destination in mind.”

8. “Super weird.”

9. “Bitch don’t kill my vibe.”

10. “Flex tape, stronger then your relationship.”

11. “Bippity Boppity back the fuck up.”

12. “If I had a dollar for every time I was called ugly I’d be broke cause bitch, I’m gorgeous.”

13. “You think you got problems with me, but baby I don’t even think about you. You mad at everything I do, but what are you up to I haven’t a clue. Cause baby you’re dead to me, how can I be dead to you? You’re looking way too obsessed.”

14. “Leave me alone you little fucker.”

15. “God this is so fucked up.”

16. “Older shits teach littler shits shit the elder shits should’ve taught them.”

17. “When we get in here don’t touch shit, don’t look at shit, don’t ask for shit, because we ain’t getting it.”

18. “Be careful who you call a child because you know what that makes you? A pedophile! And I’ll be damned if I sit here and be lectured by a pervert!”

19. “Bold of you to assume I even think.”

20. “I will destroy you on this court yard, I will ruin all that you love, slaughter your hopes and your dreams. I will rip you limb from limb and stand over your fallen corpse, and once that is all over I will laugh at your misery. I will be your demise!”

21. “You guys are pros right? Then why does it feel like I’m going against toddlers that barley knows how to walk right?!”

22. “Thanks, it’s the trauma.”

23. “You better not disrespect me because who you gonna send to check me?”

24. “After all these hands are rated E for everybody!”

25. “Speak for yourself. At least I don’t have more conversations with the memorial statue then with actually people.”

26. “I’m not sure if I should take that as a compliment or not.”

27. “I’m not really a murderer but when I play GTA 5; I turn into Jeffery Dahmer.”

28. “Being jealous is a disease, get well soon bitch.”

29. “ I know I’m handsome but having you stare at me is kind of a turn off.”

30. “No matter what it is, I always get what I want.”

31. “Cause I was born with this pretty face, so of course only pretty things can be worn by me.”

32. “ If I wanted to kill myself I will climb up your ego and jump to your IQ level.”

33. “Would you let me make a dildo of your penis?”

34. “Ya know, talk shit get hit?”

35. “Why is big birds emo son talking to me?”

36. “You know I really like confident women .”

37. “And I like men in my age group.”

38. “Run and I’ll break your legs. Attack and I’ll break your necks.”

39. “Listen there isn’t a single language on earth that has a word for how little I care. A super computer that calculates for a thousand years cannot even approach the number of fucks I do not give.”

40. “Once I find them I’ll peel their skin from off their muscles and feed it to the creatures of the forest, watching as they drink their blood like holy wine.”

41. “So let me tell you one last time so we're clear

42. You don't want to take the path you took to get here. If you pop that lip I will rock your shit. Stop playing with the fire, you are not that lit On monday you can get it! On tuesday you can get it! On wednesday you can get it! What about thursday? You can get it! On friday you can get it! On saturday you can get it! How about sunday? You can get it! And every single day you can get it.”

43. “ It’s heretopaternal superfecundation, mom had a threesome and got two mistakes instead of one.”

44. “As long as my fucks to care are flying around and no one catching them it’ll continue to be that way, no fucks given.”

45. “You must be into some kinky shit if you put your honored guest into chains and cuffs.”

46. “Mate, I’ll fucking spin your jaw.”

47. “It’s the borderline incest for me beloved.”

48. “Mhmm now apologize you fuckin goofy.”

49. “Now remember what I told you, walk straight even if you’re gay.”

50. “I can’t talk right now, I’m doing bad bitch shit.”

51. “If I hated any of you then I would’ve either killed you all off one by one or just left.”

52. “Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.”

53. “I was not born with enough middle fingers.”

54. “My depression is vicious, but this ass is delicious. Dinner is served bitch.”

55. “You wanna talk about the seatbelt rule! How about we talk about the shut the fuck up rule!”

56. “ Hippity hoppity your grave is on my property.”

57. “You speak to your mother with that mouth?”

58. “ No, but I suck your father’s off with it.”

59. “I’m sick you assholes. Baby me!”

60. “Your first orgy! I approve. Especially the tall one. He'd make an excellent consort."

61. “What did I tell you about speaking of orgies so freely in front of mortals? It's weird. Especially since you're my dad. You're not supposed to approve of these things."

62. “Ding dong the witch is dead."

63. "This drink is my weakness and she knows it. Bitch."

64. “Because they're never gonna see that coming." You say, matter of factly. "They pull back the curtain like re-re and you're like re-re yourself, motherfucker!"

65. “And then you stab them in the eye. You thought the psycho was out there? Surprise! The psycho's in here with the Olay body wash on her."

66. “Oh shit, he's trying to say something. Quick get the Speak-n-Spell!"

67. “The total number of fucks I give are equal to the number of living relatives Sasuke has.”

68. “Haven't you seen my halo, darling? I'm an angel." 

69. “ Can I call you a waste of time? Because that’s what you feel like to me.”

70. “He looks like my depression in human form.”

71. “He looks like he could be my sleep paralysis demon.”

72. “If depression and anxiety had a child he would be that child.”

73. “Oh you shouldn’t talk so big it makes your height look bad.”

74. “Sucking the life out of you guys like depression on a Tuesday.”

75. “I’m lazy not stupid.”

76. “I can't be sad. It is a state of mind which is simply not accessible to me. But this doesn't mean that i am happy all the time because this emotion is suppressed, barely there. Mostly i am in a state of...resignation. Calmness. No matter what situation. I do feel getting touched. But i don't feel pain. At all. So none.”

77. “You could basically rip my eyes out and i would only feel a slight movement and a soft touch. I don't feel exhaustion. I don't feel hunger. Sometimes i forget to breathe. I mean...my body still does that automatically but...meditating can get pretty dangerous for me.”

78. “Think of it that way. Everything around us, is god. The cells. The air. Atomic bonds. Life itself. The movement of the leaves in the wind and the smell of the coffee in front of you. It is around us. In us. Something. Call it molecules. Call it Allah. Call it God. Call it Science. Gravity is god. Carbon dioxide is god. You. Are a tiny bit of god. God is just a word. Something, a word, a thought to share. A reason to life. Live itself. You don't have to be a Jew a Muslim a Buddhist a Christian or an Atheist to know, that the world around you exists. Maybe there is a Plan. Maybe there is a spiritus sancti. Maybe, there is a soul and maybe there isn't. We do not know. But we know of our world. We know of us. Maybe the cells in our body's weren't meant to mutate. Maybe they were. We do not know. But we can believe. That is the difference, between us. A believing and a none believing person. And the difference is, that there is none. We are the same. Thinking about the same, knowing and not knowing the same facts. Simply chose to call it differently."

79. “I’m not here to boost your ego Walmart Superman.”

80. “This is my ninja way.”

81. “They say I care I didn’t care when my dog died.”

82. “I really don’t think barging is the right word… strolled is a more accurate description, I think.”

83. “Of course. I’d tie them up. First I’d remove each nail and when it got inflamed, I’d dip it in salt. They screamed so loud, you have no idea. Then I start to amputate. I’d remove one finger each day, then the toes. Then the hand, then feet, moving my ways up. They wouldn’t die since I would cauterize their wounds. Then I’d play with them. I’d throw screw drivers, knifes, and needles at them. I have a terrible shot you know… or do I?”

84. “I rip their hair out with my own hands and feed it to them. I’d shove my fingers into their eyes till they pop out. The genitals are always last to go. Even if they admit in the beginning, I’d still do it. I’d then dump their bodies for the little birdies and critters to nibble at.”

85. “Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.”

86. “I don’t want you guys to think I’m some good guy cause if I got the chance I would sacrifice you all in a heartbeat.”

87. “You fuck me but won’t marry me! How does that work?!”

88. “Shut your mouth!”

89. “Oh I thought you liked it wide open.”

90. “I’m the person who’s gonna cut ya dick off and glue it to ya forehead so you look like a lilting unicorn.”

91. “Who the fuck are you?”

92. “Nobody gives me butterflies anymore, just anger issues.”

93. “Fuck you goatman!”

94. “Mentally sick, physically thick.”

95. “Congratulations, you played yourself.”

96. “I use my tears as hand sanitizer because there’s nothing riper then depression in it’s purest form.”

97. “Always in the sun, but no ones son is ever in me.”

98. “Well if he says I am baby then I am baby. Goo goo ga ga motherfuckers.”

99. “Is this a new technique for kidnapping kids?”

100. “Cry like a little girl. Run like a slave. But when I catch that ass boy, you gonna behave.”

101. “Call me a escalator cause I always let people down.”

102. “Call me a tree cause they always picking on me.”

103. “Call me my dad cause I’m never around.”

104. “Dark humor cause even orphans gotta laugh, shopping which is weird cause I will dead wear the same shit for a month straight, laundry - it’s something about seeing the clothes and everything drown that gets me going.”

105. “They play dumb I play dumber looks like we spongebob and Patrick now.”

106. “Roses are red, Memes are neat. I wanna die, LMFAO YEET.”

107. “If you feel like the world is eating you alive that’s just proof you always looking like a snack.”

108. “I know I’m hot, but I also know I’m not a full time hot person. I’m hit when I want to be. I choose my own hours. I make my own schedule. I do freelance hotness.”

109. “You have a build a bear as a principal.”

110. “I was gonna give you that vacuum cleaner gawk gawk 6000 and this juicy wet 🐱 till you leaked outta me after painting me white on the insides but it seems you having a good night without me so anyways goodnight ☺️.”

111. “Is this social interaction because I don’t really like it.”

112. “Listen if a guy doesn't man handle me during a makeout session or during u know 😏 I'm putting him in rice or sending him back to whoever broke him 😂.”

113. “If we dated before I turnt 20 you are not an ex but a childhood friend.”

114. “Can you wipe off my favorite seat oh I meant ya face.”

115. “Guess I’ll have to stick around, gotta keep you guys alive…for my own.”

116. “I never said I was an angel. Nor am I innocent or holy like the Virgin Mary. What I am is natural and serious and as sensitive as an open nerve on an ice cube. I'm a young black sister with an unselfish heart who overdosed on love long ago. My closest friends consider me soft-spoken. Others say I have a deadly tongue. And while it's true that I have a spicy attitude like most of the ghetto girls I know, I back it up with a quick, precise, and knowledgeable mind. My memory runs. Way back and I'm inclined to remind people of the things they'd most like to forget.”

117. “My vagina just said thank you in Spanish.”

118. “I look at you and go dry, like sand.”

119. “Told you not to call him shitty, now you look like shit.”

120. “You really don’t know someone till you’ve seen them beg for mercy.”

121. “Oh how their screams make me tingle.”

122. “Your words hold no weight against mine.”

123. “Well aren’t you Sherlock fuckin’ Holmes.”

124. “Don’t you know that threats only work on those that have something to lose? If anything I count death as my blessing.”

125. “Welcome to my abortion clinic pizzeria were yesterday‘s loss is today’s sauce.”

126. “Do you know Jesus is actually black and he’s all our fathers cause we haven’t seen him in years.”

127. “Do you know all the zodiacs have their own hairstyles expect for cancers.”

128. “It means I'm perfectly content but also wouldn't mind if the sun exloded right now and killed us all.”

129. “Every day I think I’m getting closer, gonna take a bath with my fucking toaster.”

130. “Are you a race horse? Cause when I ride you’ll always finish first.”

131. “You know what sea turtles and I have in common… we both like being choked by trash.”

132. “I’m gonna sound like a Victorian peasant but please sir may I have some bread? I rather not have some of that mystery meat.”

133. “Service error 11037: Go fuck yourself :)”

134. “🔫🐝 you are beeing robbed. Only thing that’ll save you is ya number. “

135. “Sharing is caring but unfortunately I don’t care.”

136. “He likes to play catch, so I asked him can you catch these hands. He said yes so I hit the living fuck outta him. What’s the problem officer!”

137. “Do you think when humans feel butterflies in their stomachs that butterflies feel humans in their stomachs?”

138. “I keep looking behind and hope to continue forward.”

139. “I’m sorry, is our friendly banter bothering you? I know you prefer to choke your friends rather than joke-”

140. “Are we even together together or are we together like high school musical we all in this together type shit.”

141. “Oh, because I’m so scared of a slenderman clone with daddy issues, who’s also having a sexuality crisis”

142. “Bitch, your pussy smells like hotdog water. Move on.” 

143. “You’re so cute…I hate it.”

144. “Look. I could be a whore, or I could be YOUR whore. Really; it’s up to you.”

145. “Oh, oh, oh my god. Choking is my main turn on.”

146. “This is my no no cube. Anything is possible if you have enough lube.”

147. “Aye baby you ever had KFC. Cause I can give you some of that Kentucky Fried Cock.”

148. “You’re not dummy thicc you’re dummy stick.”

149. “And you little stupid purple looking Barney looking bitch!”

150. “I was raised and surrounded by happiness, something you don’t know.”

151. “They put you in the streets but even the streets ain’t want you.”

152. “Remember reality is an illusion,the universe is a hologram. Buy gold, bye.”

153. “Better scramble like an egg before you get folded like an omelette.”

154. “Play stupid games, and you win stupid prizes .”

155. “Call me Ms.Water gun cause I’ll squirt you like one.”

156. “ I would say I’m like the ocean, I’m calm and peaceful and you can see my beauty on the outside but the further you dive into me you learn not everything is as it seems uptop. I’m calm yes but even calming things can be dangerous, I have my flaws the further you go in and things that are best left at the bottom of my ocean depths but do know if you are to disturb that sea level be ready to face the Consequences.”

157. “ i’m not interested in being disrespected by someone who I lowered my standards for.”

158. “Shut the fuck up before I fold your lanky ass like a chair.”

159. “Listen here, Snotball, don’t bullshit me. I’m ain’t come here for your public-pleasing fake smile. “Go polish your skills instead of sucking my dick…”

160. “ Nana whipped them highschool kiddies asses into shape that day, oh yes she did. They met they maker on them steps I tell you, now go and and play with this old timer if you dear I’ll send that ass to the pearly gates or the flaming pits below.”

161. “Let my hands speak for me, smack talk.”

162. “Why be a wallflower when you can be a Venus fly trap?”

163. “Out here living like the main character because if I’m not the main character, I’m that one bitch that go berserk.”

164. “Food is fun, food is great, food is why we celebrate!”

165. “I want my next piercing to be a bullet. In my head."

166. “Okay, rude. You have the Eminem’s hairline, but I didn’t say anything about it!”

167. “If I’m die, then I wish to go out on my own terms, for I am like none other person on this earth.”

168. “Criminal or not. Sometimes it’s nice to be wanted.”

169. “When I said I fell in love with you I lied. I fell in love with your entire existence, I would cry for you, I would kill for you, I would die for you. “

170. “Life is just a big movie, you just can’t pick your genre.”

[starplusfourletters]

Random takes on ahsoka ep 5

Okay actually spoilers this time

Thesis statement: Ep5 was absolutely ridiculous and I loved every second of it

For those wondering what it would look like if the peak of Zirakzigil and King’s Cross smashed into each other at a thousand miles an hour…

YASSSSS THIS IS THE ANGST CONTENT I SPECIFICALLY REQUESTED. I’m not even gonna think about it for a minute just gonna sit here and wallow

Ohhhh he’s got the early season CW armor on he’s just a little guy <3

[Referring to the Teensoka section] Man I was emotionally prepared to hate whatever this was gonna be but I really liked it. Like, multiple different character beats that all hit really well. Nice job guys.

When you’re 45 and just learning what intergenerational trauma is. Better late than never

Why is S7 Teensoka so short. I just think Ahsoka from ~S7 onward should be freakishly tall and yes I know Rosario Dawson isn’t super tall but let me have this

I guess there’s an argument to be made that all Ahsoka character beats get executed multiple times (lookin’ at you, Vader reveal) but guys. Guyyyyyyyys. How many times can she go swimming and then return as Gandalf the Orange because I’m counting three now (I feel like world between worlds and rebels finale are separate level-ups, but if you see them as one beat I’d throw Mortis into the mix). Admittedly part of that might be that I’ve been taking post-Rebels S2 Sith Temple Baptism as canon and I guess not everyone watching this show became completely feral in May 2016

This is totally unrelated but omigod those were Topps cards? The makers of Dinosaurs Attack? Universes are colliding for me rn

Huh we’ve never seen how her face and her montrals meet up before. And… I’m not sure I like it. Put the headband back on

Yeah I know we all knew the white robe was coming but Dave. Dave this is a lot. Like she has white gloves now? And white boots?? ([Channels Bojack Horseman] Do you get it? Do you get my joke?)

Also possibly unpopular opinion but I’m just sayin’ white isn’t her color. The combo with her montrals just makes her look washed out.

Alternative hypothesis: the white clothing is the spare outfit she hates but hasn’t gotten around to getting rid of yet and the grays are coming back as soon as they’re out of the drier

Alternative alternative hypothesis: Seatos’ ocean is 0.1% bleach.

Oh sweet baby Space Jesus she can do psychometry now. She hit level 20 at Malachor and just kept taking levels anyway. My blorbo is op and I can’t even be mad

I’m not even gonna touch “surviving without oxygen for several hours without even intentionally meditating”

Suddenly realized we’re more than halfway thru this show and we haven’t seen Thrawn and we still don’t have any substantial information about the Dark Jedi so like… who is the villain? Is it intergenerational trauma? Please tell me it’s intergenerational trauma

Why do space whales have baleen? Oh to filter feed on midichlorians. Never mind I retract my question

Aaaand Filoni just hit “Jonah” on his Biblical Hero Dartboard

So you wasted billions of dollars on this technology when you could have just asked a whale nicely? How embarrassing.

Come to think of it tho why didn’t Ezra just take a whale BACK? Then again if I start thinking too much about this it’s just gonna devolve into “How Rebels Should Have Ended”

[spencereliotwinchester]

Under the Mistletoe

Title: Under the Mistletoe

Word Count: ~8.4k 

Summary: Moving on is difficult and sometimes includes uprooting to a new state thousands of miles away. Just before Christmas. 

This fic takes place currently, 2022, but ages have been slightly adjusted.

Jensen is 45, Christian is 45, Jared is 38

Rating: Teen, 13+ 

Tags: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles/Misha Collins (past), Christian Kane, Padalecki Family, Genvieve Cortese, Timothy Hutton, meet-cute, floof/fluff, schmoop, slight angst, loss, rom-com, Christmas, Alternate Universe

A/N:  Merry Christmas @cleighwrites! This was written for @spnfanficpond Secret Santa, please enjoy. Also I don’t know how it got to be this long, but, I’m proud of it!

Thank you to my beta @mariekoukie6661 

Divider by @rauko-creates

Banner art by yours truly

Main Character(s): Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki

--

Tags: 

@hoboal87 @writethelifeyouwant @mrswhozeewhatsis @negans-lucille-tblr @synmorite @rauko-is-a-free-elf

--

“Jensen, what the hell, man?” Christian sighed loudly from the kitchen.

“What?” Jensen grunted, shoving a large cardboard box into a corner; there were only twenty or so more boxes to bring in. 

“Wanna tell me why, after we’ve moved two-thousand miles from home, there’s still a fucking check for thirty thousand dollars stuck to our fridge via gummy bear magnet? I thought you deposited it!” Christian had moved into the doorway and was waving his hands around with annoyance. 

“Yeah, it’s on my list of shit to do,” Jensen groused, turning away and trudging out into the snow to get another box from the moving van. 

Christian was his very best friend; they’d been best friends since second grade, roommates in college, then just never really separated after that, but sometimes Christian just didn’t know when to let something go and Jensen was irritated. He shoved some boxes to the back door of the van to make them easier to grab; Jensen rolled his eyes as Christian’s form came into view. 

“Dude, please, we moved here to ‘get away from everything’ as you said. ‘Start over.’ Remember what the therapist guy said? You need to make that deposit so you can fully heal. The. Check. We’re going to the bank tomorrow and you’re gonna deposit it,” Christian begged. 

“Can you just drop it?! We’re supposed to be unpacking!” Jensen snapped. He took a deep breath. “Please, Chris, drop it. Let’s unpack the truck that way I’m not doing everything by myself when you go home for Christmas.” 

Christian gave him a pitying look, blue eyes filled with sadness, but he said nothing, just grabbed two boxes and walked out of sight. Jensen shoved a few more boxes to the door, feeling heavy and hollow at the same time. As Jensen went to jump down from the van, he slipped on the melted snow from his boots and tumbled out into the snow. He swore up a storm as he tried to stand, only to slip and fall again. 

“Jeez! You okay? Let me help you up.” 

Jensen grabbed the offered hand and stood up, looking to see who had helped him. The voice clearly wasn’t Christian’s; he was also surprised that he had to look up to see the guy’s face. The man had about four inches on him and Jensen had to admit that he was really attractive. He had shaggy hair tucked behind his ears and a warm, dimpled smile surrounded by some light scruff. 

“Thanks,” Jensen smiled. “I’m Jensen. Jensen Collins.”

“Jared Padalecki. Uh, here,” he held out a saran covered plate to Jensen, who looked at him questioningly. “Oh, my Ma made a welcome plate for you guys when she saw the moving van. Had me bring it over. Your beard is completely covered in snow by the way.”

“Thanks again!” Jensen laughed. “Want to come in? I need a break and something to drink... And dry off my beard, apparently.” 

“Sure!” Jared said brightly, then he placed the plate on top of one of the boxes and picked it up. Jensen started to protest, but Jared was already halfway up the path. Jensen grabbed another box and followed to the two-story cottage he and Christian had bought. 

The cottage was made of stone and was on the larger side, so Jensen and Christian could each have a bedroom and office; there were two spare bedrooms in case friends or family came to visit, too. The boxwood bushes that lined the front of the house were snow covered and the fire that Christian had started when they arrived was glowing through the bay window. 

“Chris!” He yelled, setting the box next to Jared’s in the living room. Jensen beckoned Jared toward the kitchen; Jared settled himself at the island while Jensen started digging through boxes for cups. He yelled again, “Chris!” 

“What in the hell’re you hollerin’ about?” Christian asked exasperatedly when he stepped into the kitchen a minute later; he was tying a bandana into a headband to keep his hair out of his face. He looked from Jared to Jensen, an eyebrow quirked up. 

“Jared, this is Christian; Chris, Jared. His Ma made us some snacks and I want a drink. Where are the damn coffee cups?” Jensen asked, leaning against the counter and throwing his hands up in defeat. He took a hand towel and scrubbed it through his bushy facial hair. 

Christian grabbed a folder from the counter and flipped through some pages. Jensen started unwrapping the plate Jared had set on the island. There were cookies, peanut clusters, chocolate covered pretzels, some kind of dried meat, and crackers. When he looked over his shoulder, Christian had started digging through one of the boxes.

“That’s venison jerky,” Jared supplied, reaching forward and snatching a piece. 

Christian set three coffee mugs next to Jensen and grabbed a piece of venison with a cracker. 

“You know, you can look through the list of boxes, too. It’s why I made that,” Christian complained as he chewed. “A whole list of what’s inside each box with pictures and box numbers. Whatcha plannin’ on putting in these cups?” 

“Chris, where’s the coffee pot?” Jensen asked innocently. Jared snorted. 

“You are so damn useless.” Christian snarked, going back to the folder and boxes. 

“So, uh, where’d you move from?” Jared asked curiously, looking at Jensen. Jensen was taken aback by how expressive his eyes were.

“Denver. We’re from Texas originally though. Went to Denver for college and then just settled in a bit,” Jensen answered evenly, hoping Jared wasn’t going to ask why they’d moved. 

“What made you decide to pick up and come out to Mass? That’s a huge change.” No luck. 

“I got a nice job offer out here,” Christian interjected; Jensen breathed a sigh of relief.

“Really? What d’you do?” 

“I’m in linguistics and translation,” Christian answered proudly, setting the coffee pot up to brew. 

“Not by chance at McCarthy International?” Jared asked excitedly, leaning forward. 

“How’d you know that?” Jensen and Christian asked at the same time. 

“I work there, too. My manager said they finally hired another translator named Christian. Shot in the dark,” Jared laughed. “Small world! We’ll be coworkers!” 

“Sounds great, man,” Christian grabbed the coffee mugs and turned to the coffee pot. “What languages do you speak?”

“Mostly French and Italian. You?”

“German and Russian.”

“Great, we’re desperate for a German translator. What about you, Jensen? What do you do?” Jared turned his attention to Jensen, smiling warmly. Jensen could see flecks of honey golden in his eyes.

“I’m a book editor for Ackles-Collins Publishing, so I can pretty much work from anywhere.” 

Jared tilted his head to the side, raising an eyebrow. Jensen could see the question swirling through Jared’s brain. 

“Jenny’s been followin’ me around since second grade,” Christian ribbed Jensen as he set down steaming coffee mugs. “We have sugar, no milk though.”

“Sugar would be great, thank you!” Jared said, pulling one of the coffee mugs toward himself. 

“Lies, man, lies. Don’t believe anything Chris says, ever!” Jensen told Jared jokingly, pulling one of the mugs to him. He silently thanked Christian for interrupting. 

A phone started ringing and all three of them reached into their pockets. It was Jared’s. He answered, then there was a lot of ‘mm-hmms’ and ‘uh-huhs’, followed by a ‘sure, ma’ as he poured what Jensen thought was an excessive amount of sugar into his coffee. He hung up and grinned, eyes shining, like he knew a secret. 

“That was my ma, she thought I got lost,” he said jovially and Jensen thought it sounded fantastic, strong and confident. “My family is throwing a big Christmas dinner party - weekend after next. The 17th. She instructed me to invite you two and not take no for an answer. Would you come?”

“Oh, jeez- uh-”

“Well-”

Jensen and Christian both started stuttering at the same time. Jared’s face fell slightly and he held up his hands. That puppy dog look should be illegal, Jensen thought. He could get away with murder.

“Hey, if you guys are worried, we’re all really accepting here, I’m gay myself,” Jared placated. “You don’t have to worry about anyone giving you grief.”

Christian’s jaw fell open and his eyes bugged out of his head and Jensen gasped in surprise, eyes widening. Christian spoke first, while Jensen doubled over in his chair cackling. 

“We’re not,” he indicated to himself and Jensen, “together. We’re basically brothers. I’m leaving that Friday to visit my family for Christmas, but Jensen’ll be there.” 

“I will?” Jensen asked, straightening up and raising his eyebrows. 

“Yeah, you will,” Christian nodded, smirking wickedly. “Go. Make friends. Jared, can you make sure he doesn’t hole himself up and become a recluse while I’m gone?”

“Gladly, I’ll even walk you over myself.” there was that smile again. He changed the subject, “I saw a few guitar cases in the living room, who plays?”

“We both do, actually. Since high school,” Jensen explained. “We played in bars before we were even twenty-one!” 

“What kind of music?” Jared prompted. 

“Country and rock. We mostly play acoustic only since it’s just us,” Christian answered, sipping his coffee and leaning his back against the counter. “Brawler’s is where Jens met his first ever boyfriend. They were alllllllll over each other that night.” 

Jensen made a disgusted noise and Jared snorted loudly into his coffee. “Christopher Michael! God, we just met him and you’re waving my dirty laundry around.”

“Now, now, no need for full names, Jensen Ross,” Christian admonished playfully. 

“Anyway,” Jared drew out the word, standing up, “I should definitely be off before Ma comes looking for me!” 

He made a move to turn, but stopped quickly and looked at Jensen.

“What’s your phone number?” Jared asked, big hopeful eyes holding Jensen’s attention. “You know, so I can give you all the details for the party?”

He watched Jared type the numbers into his phone, then heard his own phone chirp. 

“There ya are! Don’t be afraid to say ‘hi’ if you want.” Jared gave him a wink.

Jensen watched Jared’s retreating back as he left, mind caught up in Jared’s eyes and lips. Christian waved a hand in front of his face and waited for Jensen to meet his eyes. He gave Jensen a very pointed look, blue eyes piercing him. Then, shifted his eyes, indicating the doorway where Jared had disappeared. 

“We should get the rest of the boxes inside,” Jensen sighed and turned to walk out to the van. 

That evening, Jensen dug through a box in his room and pulled out a scrapbook. He got himself comfortable on his bed, back up against the headboard and scrapbook sitting in his lap. Jensen stared at the green cover.

He tipped the book open to his favorite page and stared at an 8x10 of his commitment ceremony. Big bubble letters and numbers in Misha’s handwriting said March 17, 2001. Jensen’s arm was slung around Misha’s shoulders, a giant smile spread across his face and Misha was leaning into Jensen, a toothy grin on his face and blue eyes sparkling with joy. Champagne was spraying all around them thanks to Christian who was on the right side of the picture, head thrown back in laughter and the champagne bottle in his hand. 

Jensen traced Misha’s face, a mixture of happiness and sadness surrounding him. They all looked so young. Twenty-four years together, twenty of them after a commitment ceremony, six after their official marriage ceremony, and for Jensen that would never be enough. He turned the pages slowly, watching their lives together, then as Misha began looking sickly; Misha’s eyes never lost their sparkle though. Jensen stopped again at his second favorite picture, smiling sadly. 

They’d hired a photographer; well, Christian had. They’d practically carried Misha into the yard and onto a blanket. The sun was shining brightly, but the temperature was perfect. They were sitting cross-legged, Misha pressed into his side, eyes closed and a soft smile on his face. Jensen’s head was resting on top of Misha’s and his eyes were closed, too, soaking in the moment. That had been their last anniversary together. A tear snuck down his cheek and he wiped it away quickly. 

“Jens! Let's go out and ex-” the door to his room was thrown open, startling him, and Christian’s words died out.

They stared at each other for a solid minute before Christian whispered, “oh, Jen,” and climbed up onto the bed, settling himself down next to Jensen. He threw an arm around Jensen’s shoulders and tugged him close. After a while sitting in silence, Jensen chuckled.

“Remember when Misha proposed?” Jensen asked, resting his head on Christian’s shoulder.

“How could anyone forget that?” Christian laughed. “He talked me into helping build that stupid gummy bear wonderland for you AND the freaking firework pyrotechnics.”

“And Steve choreographed the dance and singing and sound set up, jeez,” Jensen reminisced fondly. Christian was still chuckling. “You nearly killed us all and set the gazebo on fire!”

“And he talked me into building three gingerbread houses? Never again. Took four tries before we figured out how to set the stupid frosting so the damn thing didn’t fall apart.”

“Then the freak thunderstorm that rolled in from the mountains, and you, me, Misha, and Steve took cover in that little shed,” Jensen was fully laughing, now. 

“Oh, hell. ‘What do you wanna marry me for anyhow?’” Christian mocked Jensen’s voice. Then dropped his voice to mimic Misha’s. “‘So I can kiss you anytime I want.’ Fuckin’ Sweet Home Alabama rom-com bullshit.” 

“Hey,” Jensen gasped out, unable to control his laughter, “that was the first movie we watched together.” 

They chuckled together for a bit until the laughter died out and they sat in a comfortable silence again. One of the things Jensen appreciated most about Christian was the never-wavering support he gave. Jensen’s mind wandered along memories until his brain settled on a tall man with shaggy hair and dimples. For the first time since Misha died, Jensen felt a tug of attraction, of want; it felt weird and good with a hint of guilt, like he was having an affair. His brain told him logically that no, it wasn’t an affair, but his heart couldn’t help but disagree. 

“What’s stopping you?” Christian asked solemnly, like he’d read Jensen’s mind. 

“It’s illogical, I know I shouldn’t feel like this,” Jensen said, matching Christian’s tone, “but I feel like I’m having an affair. I feel guilty. I feel like I’m leaving him behind. I’ve been lonely; I mean, I have you, but it’s not the same, it’s I-miss-having-someone-next-to-me-in-bed type lonely, but I’m afraid that I won’t be able to love or… I just feel like I’m replacing him if I go out with another man.”

Jensen looked over to Christian, head still resting on his shoulder. After thirty-five years of brotherhood friendship, they could read each other like a book. Christian was looking up to the ceiling, pensieve and calculating, no doubt choosing his next words carefully. This was the first time since Misha died that he’d even brought up the idea of Jensen dating again, which he appreciated more than Christian would ever know. Steve, Jason, and a few others had all said at one time or another that Jensen should ‘get back out there’ and ‘you need to get laid’ among other things.

Christian huffed once before crawling out of the bed and striding purposefully out of the room. Jensen raised an eyebrow, but waited patiently for Christian to come back. When he did, he had a thin document box under his arm. Jensen threw him a questioning look, but Christian ignored him, placing the box at the foot of the bed and opening it. He pulled out a sturdy leather portfolio. Flipping it open, he cleared his throat, standing straight with his shoulders back; he began to read.

“To my wonderful, handsome, loving husband. Twenty-four years went by in the blink of an eye. I ask this of you, my love, as my last wish: Continue to live your life with strength and love. Speak my name with joy and fondness as you always have. Do not dwell on my death forever. And the most important - Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened. Now a poem by Mary Elizabeth Frye:

‘Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there. I did not die.’”

Jensen’s eyes were blurry with tears and his nose was clogged. The piece of paper Christian was reading from was a thick parchment with Misha’s handwriting carefully and clearly written out. Nearly three pages that he’d instructed Christian to read out before he delivered his own eulogy for Misha. There was a lot more, but Christian put the portfolio back in its box and sat cross-legged on the foot of the bed facing Jensen. Jensen took in huge, gulping breaths and when he quieted, Christian spoke again. 

“I’m not going to tell you to get over it and move on, I’m not going to force you into the dating world, it’s not my place. Or anyone’s for that matter, except you. Misha wanted you to be happy, though, and Jared seems like a good person to test out the dating world with. If you hate it, I’m not gonna press the issue, you can hide away and become a miserable pessimistic asshole like me.” 

“Harsh,” Jensen sniffed. Then fondly, “Thanks, Chris.”

“Anytime,” Christian said affectionately. “Now, that’s enough chick-flick mushiness. You good?”

“Yeah, Chris, I’m fine.” 

“Good,” Christian nodded, satisfied. He got up and headed out of the room, but then stopped in the doorway. He turned, “Have you eaten anything today?”

Jensen ducked his head and grinned sheepishly. Christian made a noise of annoyance. 

“I’ll scrounge something together,” he huffed. “Now, text Jared and see where it goes.” 

“Bossy.”

“Prick.” 

“Cocksucker!”

“You wish! You’re just jealous cause I never wanted to suck yours or anyone else’s.” 

Jensen barked out a laugh and he heard Christian snort from the stairway as he plodded downstairs to the kitchen. Jensen grabbed his phone from the nightstand and stared at it nervously. He unlocked it and went to his messages, clicking on Jared’s name. 

Hey. Long time, no talk.

Well that was cringey. It turned from “delivered” to “read” and Jensen’s heart thumped hard.

I know, it’s been forever! Lol. 

Ma is stoked you’re coming to the party. 

That’s great. I’m looking forward to it. Are you staying with your parents? 

Yeah, I have an apartment in town, but near the holidays everyone stays with our parents. Family time and all that. It’s me, my brother Jeff, and my sister Megan. Meg and Jeff live in Providence and drive in. 

It's awesome that you all get together like that. Sounds like a good time! Or do they drive you crazy? 

Hahaha. A bit of both. What about you? Chris - or should I call him Christian? - said he was going home for Christmas, but you’re staying? 

Ah, yeah. My parents love me, but they aren’t exactly accepting of ‘my lifestyle’. My sister Mackenzie lives in Portland with her family and Josh lives in Venice, Italy. The last time we all got together was in like 2005ish… Didn’t go very well. Chris’ Mama invited me to theirs, but I just decided to stay here and get settled. I don’t think he minds one way or another what you call him. How far away is town by the way? 

Oh, it’s only about a fifteen-minute drive. Boston is around an hour depending on traffic. I’m sorry, it must be hard not seeing your family :( I came out my senior year, but my parents have been very supportive. Is that why you moved to Denver? 

Yeah. I wanted to get out of Texas and Chris was accepted at University of Denver. I applied and got accepted, too. Off we went. I studied English and Literary Arts as well as some business. Where did you go to college?

Boston U. Just studied business and got hired at my dad’s company when I graduated. I wanted to ask earlier, but you said you worked at Ackles-Collins, do you own it?

I’m part owner, yeah, but I hang back mostly. I like being an editor more than anything. 

Would you like to hang out the day after tomorrow? I was going to go into town and do some Christmas shopping. It’s always more fun going with someone, y’know?

Sure I think I’d like that. Chris is calling me for dinner, so I’ll talk to you later? We’ll finalize the plans.

Definitely :) 

On Monday at ten-thirty, Jensen was sitting in an armchair near the fire in the living room, Christian sitting on the couch opposite. They were casually playing guitar together, but Jensen couldn't play a chord to save his life at the moment. Jared would be arriving any minute to pick him up to go shopping. 

“Relax, everything’s gonna be great,” Christian encouraged, putting his guitar down. “Just get out, go have some fun with Jared, and pick up a real nice present for me.”

Christian winked at him, smiling. Jensen rolled his eyes and put his guitar down, too. He’d decided on a worn pair of boot cut jeans, and a thick green zip-up hoodie. He’d set out a dark green fleece-lined ear-flap beanie, touchscreen gloves, and his favorite dark gray wool peacoat that had an extra wool inner lining. 

They both turned when they heard a car pull into the driveway. Jensen stood and quickly put on his hat, coat, and gloves, shoving his keys in the pocket of his coat. A horn honked. When Jensen turned, Christian was opening the front door for him. 

“Good day, sire, your carriage awaits,” Christian said in a ridiculous accent, bowing with a flourish. Jensen couldn’t help but laugh.

“You’re an idiot,” Jensen snickered as he walked to the door. Christian put his hands on Jensen’s shoulders and fake-sniffed as though he were overcome with emotion. 

“My big boy, going out on a date. I’m so proud!” He exclaimed sarcastically.

“Oh, shut up!” Jensen retorted half annoyed and half amused, slapping Christian’s arms back and walking out the door. “I’ll see you later.” 

“I won’t wait up!” Christian cackled at his own joke and swung the door shut. 

The drive into town with Jared was filled with soft music and conversation about their favorite music and movies. The town was very small, with just a couple blocks of various shops right in the center. To Jensen, the town looked like it had been pulled directly from a Thomas Kinkade painting; there were even two horse-drawn carriages giving people rides.  

“If you want, we can just start down one side and come back on the other. If we see a shop we want to stop in, then we do?” Jared asked as he turned off the car. 

“Sounds good to me,” Jensen smiled back. 

Jared was wearing a black and tan windbreaker parka that had a faux fur lined hood and a slouchy purple beanie. Jensen couldn’t help but notice the way Jared’s jeans outlined his ass as he caught up to walk next to Jared. They passed a clothing boutique, a craft shop, and a framing store before they came upon a window that made Jensen stop to look. Jared stopped, too, and told him that it was a local music shop called ‘Hutton’s Music House’.

“Let's go in!” He exclaimed, taking Jensen’s hand and pulling him to the door; a bell tinkled when they stepped in. A girl looked up from the counter and smiled, greeting Jared by name. “Hey, Gen! Jensen, this is my friend Gen, we took a bunch of classes together in college. Gen, this is Jensen, he’s new in town.” 

“I never would have graduated without Jared,” she laughed, scrunching her nose. “Business was not for me! Welcome to town, Jensen. Anything I can help you find?” 

“Jensen’s a musician, so I thought we’d take a look around,” Jared piped up. 

“It’s good to meet you, Gen,” Jensen nodded. “Do you have replacement pickups? And can you show me your guitar strings?” 

Gen showed them over to a case on the opposite wall that contained a medium-sized collection of pickups ranging from acoustic, electric, bass, and even a few for violins. Jensen scanned them carefully and Jared said he was going to look at the guitar room. 

“Anything particular you’re looking for? We have more in the back that are for older and specialized models and we can order as well,” Gen informed him. 

“Well, my roommate and I have been meaning to replace the pickups on his 1956 Fender Strat, but we’ve been so busy the last couple years it just hasn’t happened.” 

“Woah, 1956? And he still plays it?” Gen asked incredulously. 

“Not very often, we only use it for recording, otherwise it’s in a custom protective case. We’re finally going to be able to record again, so we’ll need it.”

“Hang on, I’ll check it out. Are you wanting, like, originals?” She asked, walking back to the counter. 

“Doesn’t have to be, last time I think we used Klein,” Jensen said, meandering around the room slowly. “Don’t worry too much about it, I can order them if I need to.”

Gen typed on a desktop computer that looked like it was from 1997. Jared stepped back in and dragged Jensen into another room of the shop, walls lined with guitars of all kinds as well as other instruments and accessories. Jensen was impressed, the place had seemed so small from outside. They strode around the room together, Jared asking Jensen about nearly every guitar not unlike a curious child. Jensen answered amusedly to the best of his ability; Jensen stopped them when they reached a section of wall dedicated to strings for all types of instruments. He explained each type of guitar string to Jared, along with the sounds they produced and various uses until Gen came up beside them. 

“Hey, sorry to interrupt,” she interjected, excitedly. “I have some good news.” 

“Yeah?” Jensen straightened and turned to Gen, interested. 

“I called the owner, Tim, and he’s on his way in. Apparently, he has an unopened set that was ordered and never picked up last year.”   

“Oh, he didn’t need to make a special trip or anything,” Jensen sputtered.

“It’s okay,” Gen insisted. “He lives upstairs.” 

There was a loud bang and out of a door labeled “Employees Only” came an older man with slightly disheveled dark hair wearing blue jeans and a green sweater. He strode quickly to them, holding a hand out to Jared, then Jensen. 

“I’m Tim Hutton, owner. Gen said you had a 1956 strat?” He resounded. “I absolutely had to come down and meet ya. Not everyday you hear about a guitar like that!” 

“Ah, well, it's actually my roommate's. His dad passed it down to him when we started recording our own music,” Jensen explained.

“Wow-oh-wow. I would love to see that!” Tim exclaimed. 

“I can show you some pictures,” Jensen pulled his phone and scrolled through his photo albums, “but we never take it anywhere. It’s only used for recording and we do all the maintenance ourselves.” 

Jared moved to look over Tim’s shoulder at the pictures Jensen showed. They were taken quite a few years ago during a recording session and were mostly of Christian, a few with Jensen, and two with Christian, Jensen, Steve, and Jason. 

“That is a gorgeous guitar,” Tim said in awe. “Anyway, I brought down the pickups for you. Is there anything else we can find for you?” 

“Did you still want strings?” Jared asked. 

“Oh yeah,” Jensen turned back to the wall. He pointed to a brand called ‘Aurore Specialty’ that only had one each of acoustic and electric, and said questioningly, “I’ve never heard of this brand before.” 

“They’re local,” Tim boasted. “I helped get the business going and I help with marketing. My sister and her husband actually make them.” 

“Oh the only place I’ve heard of doing that in the US is in LA,” Jensen marveled. 

“And they’re mostly produced on order only,” Tim continued, sounding like a salesman. “I keep a couple guitar ones in the shop so we can offer them up to new customers. Listen, I’ll give you a set on the house since you’re buying these pickups. Try ‘em out and see if you like ‘em!” 

As they made their way to the register, two books next to each other caught his eye called ‘Mosh Potatoes’ and ‘Eat Like a Rockstar.’ They were recipe books. Jensen chuckled and grabbed both of them; Christian loved to cook, these would surely bring a laugh. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jared giving him an admiring look, a lovable smile plastered across his face. 

After they left the guitar shop, Jensen carrying a paper bag with the pickups, books, and a set of acoustic strings, Jared asked if they could go to a bookstore called ‘Bound Around.’ It was unlike any book shop Jensen had ever seen before. It smelled like an old book, slightly musty, and there was no rhyme, reason, or organization for where the books were. Multiple piles of books were just stacked precariously from the floor to chest height and the bookshelves also had books stacked horizontally instead of vertically. Jared quickly disappeared into the maze while Jensen slowly picked his path through the stacks. Five minutes later, Jared appeared at his side, grinning widely. 

“Found a book for my mom,” he said breathily, holding up a copy of ‘The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo.’

“Oh, that book definitely keeps your attention,” Jensen remarked. “Very Marilyn Monroe-esque.” 

“You’ve read it?” Jared asked, cocking his head to the side. 

“Yeah,” Jensen said lightheartedly. “I helped edit the first draft as a favor. The chief editor, a good friend of mine, who was assigned the book had to assign it to his brand new editor because they were flooded with work. He called me and asked if I had time to coach and mentor the new kid.”  

“Any recs for my sister? She loves a good horror thriller,” Jared’s eyes sparkled hopefully. Jensen thought for awhile, walking around and eyeing books. 

“Hmm,” he pulled a book from the middle of a stack, quickly stabilizing it with his other hand so the whole thing didn’t crash to the ground. “I read it in high school randomly. I really like reading, so I’d go find random books to read. I doubt she’d have read it. It’s a thrilling horror-type book.” 

“Sounds good to me!” Jared took the book titled ‘Skin’. “Do you need anything here or want to look around more?” 

“No, I think I’m good. I’m actually getting hungry. You?” 

“Food sounds great to me! We can drop this at the car and go to Radial,” seeing Jensen’s raised eyebrow, Jared added, “a local café.”

At the register, Jensen was surprised to see a till that looked like it belonged in a museum, with mechanical buttons and even a pull handle. Jared asked the elderly man if he could see a book resting on a shelf behind him. The worker turned without speaking and grabbed a leather-bound book, setting it on the counter for Jared; he eyed Jared suspiciously. Jensen watched as he opened the book carefully, almost reverently. It was a posh leatherbound copy of ‘The Great Gatsby’ and it was signed by the illustrator. Jensen watched, infatuation blooming in his chest.   

“‘The Great Gatsby’ is my favorite,” Jared said, handing the book back, a wistful look on his face, then gave the man the two books he was going to purchase. 

When they exited the shop, Jensen stopped abruptly, pretending to search his pockets. Jared looked at him in concern.

“I need to run back in,” Jensen said quickly. “I think I set my phone down by accident.”

“Okay.”

Jensen rushed back into the bookstore and over to the counter. The old man squinted at him with disdain.

“I’d like to buy that leather bound book my friend was looking at,” Jensen explained, pointing behind the man. 

“Must be a good friend,” his voice was wheezy and high-pitched. “You realize it’s a leatherbound, signed copy? It’s quite expensive.”

“I don’t mind,” Jensen huffed, pulling out his credit card. 

“I prefer cash,” he sneered. “Extra charge for card payments.” 

“It’s fine, charge me whatever, just hurry before he gets suspicious and comes back in, please!” 

After signing the receipt, Jensen tucked the book in his bag from the music store and joined Jared outside. They had a great lunch talking about books they’d read and their opinions. Throughout the entire meal, they both saw the other staring multiple times, looking away quickly when they’d been caught. It turned out they had very similar taste in books and Jensen learned that Jared led a monthly book club. They didn’t meet in December, but would meet in January and Jared asked if he’d like to join. Jensen tentatively agreed as they walked back to Jared’s car. 

When Jared pulled into Jensen’s driveway, there was an awkward moment where Jensen was afraid Jared was going to lean over and kiss him. He didn’t think he was ready for something like that at all, so he thanked Jared for the good time and bade him a quick goodbye. 

Inside, he could hear loud thumping music coming from upstairs. As Jensen stripped his outdoor gear and made his way upstairs to his bedroom, he recognized Luke Bryan booming from Christian’s room. He hid the presents he’d bought under his bed and laid down on top of the covers to think.

He tried to sort out the mixture of complex emotions swirling around his brain. Attraction, admiration, optimism mixed with fear, guilt, and uncertainty. Not to mention the underlying feelings of disloyalty and insecurity. At some point, the music abruptly stopped, but he was so caught up in his thoughts he didn’t notice. In the end, Jensen ended up passing out from sheer tiredness, still fully clothed on top of the blanket. 

Jensen stared into the full-length mirror on his closet door, barely recognizing himself and feeling out of sorts; it had been a long time since he’d needed to dress up for an event. Jensen had even trimmed his beard from the unkempt overgrown bush he’d been sporting to a well-groomed, even-trimmed short beard. Jared had texted him the day before letting Jensen know he’d arrive at 6:30 to walk over to the dinner party and that it was a dressy event. He’d asked Jared for clarification to which he received the response “Ma says formal.” Jensen had one suit, besides his formal funeral suit, that was navy blue and made of cashmere with a perfectly matched tie and waistcoat. The button-up was a very pale blue and he’d chosen a white handkerchief with blue pinstripes. 

He’d fought with himself for a half hour over which knot to tie his tie, ultimately deciding on the half Windsor. Jensen went to his dresser where he’d set out cufflinks, watch, belt, phone, and wallet. His eyes fell on the crystal jewelry dish where he kept his wedding ring while he was showering. A new wave of guilt washed over him as he took the ring and rolled it through his hand. In a moment of panic, he grabbed his phone to text Jared and tell him he needed to cancel, but there was a message waiting for him from Christian. 

I swear to God, Jens, if you cancel on Jared, I’ll wring your neck when I get back. 

He took in a deep, calming breath and looked back to the ring. Misha wanted you to move on when you were ready, he told himself. You’re not betraying him, you’re not cheating on him. True, he was still working through the end of his grief, but he had spent the last week and a half pondering what it might be like to date again. In particular, date a hazel-eyed, shaggy-haired, dimpled-cheeked man. He shouldn’t wear it; Jared would definitely notice and Jensen didn’t want him to think he was emotionally unavailable. His phone buzzed, “Chris” popping back up on the screen. 

Misha wanted you to move on and be happy again. Give it a chance, for your sake and mine.

The telepathy thing they had annoyed Jensen sometimes. Neither of them had any hope of lying to other, or hiding any sort of secret. Sometimes it was helpful though; like that time in college Jensen had slipped on the porch of their home and broken his ankle, leg, and wrist. It was dark and Jensen hadn’t seen the thick layer of ice built up. He couldn’t move and Christian wasn’t supposed to come home that night; for half an hour, Jensen had lain there overwhelmed and terrified. Then suddenly Christian was there, yanking him out of the snow and wrapping him in a heated blanket until EMS arrived. Jensen remembered Christian sitting next to his hospital bed later saying, ‘I just knew something had happened.’

After a few more moments of deep breathing, Jensen set the ring back in the bowl. He donned everything else, then replied to Christian.

I’m going, I’m going. Stop nagging. No wonder Jared thought we were an item. 

As Jensen made his way downstairs, the doorbell rang. He tucked his phone into his pocket then pulled the door open. Jensen sucked in a breath and took a second to take in all of Jared. He was wearing a charcoal gray three-piece with a crisp white shirt and a dark, blue-green tie. He was clean-shaven which made his dimples stand out even more than they had last week. When Jensen’s eyes fell on Jared’s, he realized Jared had been checking him out, too. 

“Hey,” Jensen greeted lamely. 

“Hi,” Jared grinned. “You clean up pretty nice.”

“Could say the same about you,” Jensen said cheekily. “Oh, shit. Hang on.” 

Jensen stepped to the sideboard and grabbed the bottles of champagne and wine he’d chosen from his personal collection. Then he stepped outside and locked the door behind him. 

“Shall we?” he asked. “Lead on!”

“Oh, yes! What do you have?” Jared started down the driveway, Jensen falling in step beside him. 

“Uh. Just a bottle of champagne and red wine for the hosts. Y’know, proper dinner etiquette and all that.”

Jared laughed lightly. He took one of the bottles from Jensen and raised his eyebrows in surprise when he saw the label. “Is that a Dom Pérignon?” 

“Yeah, it’s a 1990 brut, is that okay? We can go back and get a rosé if your parents would prefer something sweeter or I think I have a few bottles of 2004 Plénitude as well,” Jensen had stopped walking, feeling anxious; Jared looked over at him, perplexed. 

“No, it’s fine, Ma and Dad will absolutely love it. I was just surprised at the brand,” he laughed and started walking down the path again, beckoning Jensen to come with him. “Are you a wine snob? You gotta tell a guy that, y’know?” 

Jensen chuckled. “I mean, I have my preferences but I wouldn’t consider myself a snob.”  

“Oh, good, cause I know practically nothing about wine. I’m more of a beer guy myself, much to my mother’s dismay,” he joked, giggling. 

Jensen thought he could listen to the sound of Jared’s laugh for hours on repeat; he felt a smile spread across his face and thought that a butterfly was suddenly trying to escape his stomach. The walk took about ten minutes which Jared filled with talk about his family and the guests that would be at the party. Jensen soaked in Jared’s voice, only offering an occasional ‘really’ or ‘mm-hmm’ and letting Jared drive the conversation. 

They walked up the driveway to a very lovely two story house that looked much like his own. There were Christmas lights lining the roof, glowing softly. The front window was glowing as well and by the shadows, Jensen figured people had started to arrive. He paused for a moment before stepping onto the porch and shook himself lightly to loosen himself up. Jared opened the door for him, showing his bright smile. They were bombarded as soon as they stepped inside.

“Oh, Jared, honey! I was wondering when you’d get back home!” A shorter, matronly woman bustled her way to them, positively glowing with happiness. She was wearing a beautiful emerald green dress. “Oh! And you must be Jensen! Welcome to the neighborhood, dear, Jared’s been talking about you non-stop.”

Before Jensen could say anything, Jared’s mom - Sherri, if he remembered correctly - was pulling him in for a quick hug and cupped his face, kissing his cheek. 

“Maa!” Jared groaned, pink darkening across his cheeks. Jensen threw him a delighted smirk. 

“It’s lovely to meet you, Mrs. Padalecki,” Jensen took one of her hands, kissed it lightly, and then presented the bottles to her. “For the hosts of the evening; thank you for having me as a guest.”

“My! What proper manners,” Sherri gushed as she took the bottles from Jensen. “You can call me Sherri. Come on in, let’s introduce you to Gerry.” 

Jensen followed Sherri through the house to the kitchen, followed closely by Jared. She stopped multiple times, saying hello and introducing Jensen and sometimes Jared, too. There were two men and a woman laughing when they walked in. The older man bent down, peeking in the oven. Over his black suit, he was wearing a daisy covered apron.

“Gerry,” Sherri called, “come meet Jensen, our new neighbor!” 

All three people turned to face them and the man in the apron stepped forward, a hand held out. Jensen shook it firmly, returning the friendly smile. 

“Good to meet you, sir,” Jensen greeted, inclining his head. 

“Oh, please, call me Gerry. This is Jeff, my oldest boy, and Megan, Jared’s younger sister.”

“Hon, Jensen brought us some wine,” Sherri said, holding the bottles out to her husband. 

“Wow!” Gerry exclaimed when he took the bottles from Sherri. “You have a fine taste in wine and champagne. Thank you!” 

“These are definitely my favorites,” Jensen confirmed. 

“Well, I am most certainly going to open these tonight. Might have to keep them hidden from the other guests,” he joked. “1990 and 2009 were great years for vineyards.”

“Jared, go introduce Jensen to some of the others, make him feel welcome while we finish up dinner,” Sherri instructed, shooing them from the kitchen. Jensen instead leaned against the wall outside of the kitchen, grinning madly at Jared.

“So, you haven’t stopped talking about me?” Jensen questioned mischievously, tilting his head to the side. 

“Ma and her big mouth,” Jared groaned. “She’s exaggerating, I swear.” 

“Oh my god,” Jensen bent over, laughing a full belly laugh. “You’ve got the same look Chris gets when he’s lying!” 

“I’m not - I didn’t  - I - I - I really like you,” Jared admitted, pink spreading across his face again. He babbled on, “I mean, sorry, I - Well, you’re just attractive, like, really, really, attractive and very fun to hang out with and -” 

“Woah, hey, you’re insanely attractive yourself,” Jensen reached his right hand to his left; he often twisted his wedding ring when he was nervous, but the hand was empty so Jensen dropped his hands, shaking them out slightly. “You’re pretty awesome yourself.”

He kept trying to twist his ring throughout the whole party. It happened at least ten more times before dinner was over and Jensen was starting to feel the stress. Jared had definitely noticed, even raising an eyebrow at him once as if asking if Jensen was okay. 

“Jensen,” Gerry called from the head of the table. Jensen was seated two people away from him. “What is it that you do? Jared said something about books, right?” 

“Yes, sir. I’m a book editor for Ackles-Collins Publishing,” Jensen responded. 

“Your last name is Collins isn’t it? Any relation there?” 

“Uh,” Jensen grinned sheepishly. He reached for his hand again, but quickly redirected, pretending to adjust his sleeve. “Yes, I’m actually part owner.” 

“That is amazing and at such a young age! I own McCarthy International, I think Jared mentioned your roommate was hired on as a translator,” Gerry shared. “How are you two settling in?”

“Really well, we’ve spent the last two weeks learning the new town and unpacking everything. Jared’s shown me all of the local shops and fun places to go.”

Gerry’s attention was soon pulled away by another man and Jensen was pulled into conversation with Sherri about his college education and publishing house. As dinner finished and people started to move from the table and mingle again, Jensen asked Jared where the bathroom was. Jared led Jensen upstairs, away from the crowd. He found it slightly odd because there were no lights on upstairs. They moved into a dark hallway and Jared turned to Jensen, a concerned look on his face. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, placing his hands lightly on Jensen’s upper arms. “It’s like you’re getting more nervous as the night goes on.” 

Automatically, Jensen made an aborted move to twist his absent ring, huffing exasperatedly when he dropped his hands back to his sides. 

“And you keep doing that, too. Are you uncomfortable? Are there too many strangers? I can walk you home?” Jared placed his hands over Jensen’s, face showing only care and sympathy. 

“No.. No. I’m not,” Jensen sighed; he’d hoped he would be able to wait a few dates before having this talk with Jared. “I need to explain something and I am praying you’ll understand because I don’t want to ruin this before it starts.” 

“C’mere,” Jared walked Jensen to the end of the hall and pushed him lightly through a door, following closely. 

The light flicked on and Jensen found himself in what had to be Jared’s childhood bedroom. The walls were bright blue, plastered with various posters of sports teams and bands. He sat down on a large bed and patted the tye-dye duvet next to him. Jensen sat down, staring at his hands, heart pounding in his throat. 

“I don’t mind, Jensen. Whatever it is, it’s better to tell me now. I would really like to go out with you, but if that’s not what you want -” 

Jensen cut him off.  “No, no, I want that, too. I just - I wanted to wait until we’d had a couple dates, but - You should know that I had a husband for twenty years,” Jensen’s breath caught in his throat; he swallowed thickly and continued before Jared could interject. “He passed, July of last year.” 

“Oh my god,” Jared gasped in surprise. 

“Sorry, it’s a lot to take in. This is the first time I’ve really considered going out with someone since, and I am really looking forward to it, if you’ll still have me. I come with a lot of baggage and that’s not for everyone. I took my wedding ring off, that’s why I keep wringing my hands together; I just didn’t want to give you the wrong impression by wearing it,” Jensen muttered, afraid to look into Jared's face. 

Unexpectedly, Jensen was completely enveloped in a bone-crushing hug, face pressed into Jared’s shoulder. He smelled wonderful, Jensen thought, closing his eyes; pine trees, holiday berries, and a hint of peppermint. He brought his arms up and returned the hug. Jared pulled back and pressed his forehead to Jensen’s and he saw that Jared’s eyes were bright and teary. 

“You don’t have to apologize for something like that,” Jared murmured sympathetically. “That must have been so, so hard for you. I can’t even imagine.”

Jensen sniffed once and smiled softly, blinking the tears in his eyes away. “Well, I’m not sure how to respond to that, but, if you’d let me, I’d love to take you out to dinner sometime. Maybe you and your family will come over sometime? I’ll make Chris cook cause I’m still not very good at that.”

Jared laughed heartily. 

“You need to stop that,” Jensen deadpanned. Jared looked taken aback. He dropped the seriousness and said, “It makes me want to tickle you just so I can hear it.” 

They grinned at each other for a few beats before Jensen spoke again, “We should get back to the party, people will think there’s some hanky-panky going on.” 

“Hanky-panky?!” Jared burst out laughing, doubling over.

When he’d finally regained his composure, Jared led Jensen back downstairs. They stuck together for the rest of the night, having great conversations with other guests as well as each other, until the party began to die down. Jensen’s heart felt like it was going to explode with warmth and joy, optimistic for the first time in what seemed like a century. He began to make his way to the kitchen for some water when Jared called for him to stop with an urgent tone. 

“Wha -” Jensen stopped in his tracks between the living room and dining room and turned around. Jared strode up to him, a huge smile on his face. He looked up and Jensen followed his eyes. When Jensen looked back to Jared’s face, it had turned to a look of sly giddiness. 

“Mistletoe!” Jared said triumphantly. “Guess someone needs to kiss you.” 

Jensen let out a soft huff of laughter, but then Jared’s lips were lightly pressed to his, soft and chaste and fleeting. Jared looked delighted with himself when he pulled back and Jensen couldn’t help but smile shyly and appreciate the simplicity. A warm hand enveloped his own and their fingers laced together. 

“Will you walk me home?” Jensen asked, his voice breathy and hopeful. 

“I’d be delighted to,” Jared smiled and tilted his head to the side, eyes bright and excited. 

[myperfectdad]

44. Thanksgiving in a box

This story was originally published on My website. Read new My Perfect Dad stories at JayHypnoWriter.com a full week before they drop here, and follow Me @JayHypnoWriter on Twitter for more updates.

The box showed up on our doorstep a week before Thanksgiving. We were confused. It couldn’t possibly have been the prep-by-step Thanksgiving dinner we ordered. It was way too early, and the box wasn’t nearly heavy enough.  

“Do you think we got scammed?” I asked my boyfriend Paul.  

“What do you mean we, Mr. Subscription Delivery Service Addict?” he said with a smirk. “I’m not the one who ordered it. I told you I’d be happy with pizza and beer.”  

We’d done pizza and beer for two consecutive lockdown Thanksgivings. I was ready for something special, but neither of us was a great cook. I wanted premeasured ingredients and a simple chart to follow. Thanksgiving-in-a-box was the answer, or so I thought.  

Paul tore the box open, and a blast of confetti shot from it, scaring the crap out of us both. I pulled a card out of the empty box as bits of autumn-colored ticker tape fluttered to the floor.  

You now have everything you need for the perfect family holiday. Happy Thanksgiving-in-a-box!

Paul was amused. I was pissed. This was a massive clean-up job, and we had absolutely nothing for Thanksgiving dinner. 

“At least we have a week to pivot,” I said, coming back from the kitchen with the broom and dustpan.  

“Or there’s always pizza and beer.”

I woke up the following day to the noise of cabinets banging and dishes clattering in the kitchen. It was rare for Paul to rise before me on any day, let alone on one of his days off. I ambled into the kitchen and saw him sorting what looked like a thousand dollars’ worth of groceries, covering every available surface.  

“Morning, babe,” I said, interrupting his focused, somewhat manic workflow.  

“Hey!” he exclaimed. “I thought I’d get the shopping done for Thanksgiving. I think I got everything we need.”  

“Great,” I said. “You seem really… enthusiastic.”  

Paul stopped counting potatoes and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a tight bear hug. Of course, my boyfriend had his romantic moments, but he wasn’t typically this demonstrative.  

“I know you wanted Thanksgiving to be special,” he said. “I want to make it special for you. For both of us.”  

He released his grip on me and smiled. I looked at him curiously for a moment. “Did you do something different to your hair?”  

“No, why?”  

I blinked a few times, thinking it was just sleep making me see things. “You’ve gone kinda grey at the temples. In the mustache, too.”  

Paul reached into a drawer and pulled out a giant serving spoon. He held it in front of his face as if checking his reflection. “I don’t notice anything different. Why don’t you run along and let me take care of things here?”  

I laughed. “Run along?”  

The next few days got weird. While we were running errands on Saturday, Paul made an impromptu detour to the thrift store. He picked out an assortment of polo shirts, khaki shorts, and white sneakers. He roused me out of bed at six-thirty on Sunday, and we spent the morning raking all the leaves in the yard. After overhearing me on a challenging work call on Monday, he sat me down for a “heart-to-heart.” He lectured me for 45 minutes about having respect for my elders.  

By Tuesday, things had gotten out of hand. Paul walked into my basement office in the middle of my weekly team huddle to tell me I needed to pick up our room. I gestured for him to leave, but he wouldn’t budge. So finally, I muted myself and switched off my camera to deal with this.  

“I’ll do it after my meeting ends,” I said.  

“No,” Paul said sternly. “You should have done it this morning. You’ll do it now.”  

“I’ve been busy,” I said, exasperated. “I didn’t have time this morning. I’ll do it later.”  

“If you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have to do it over?”  

The silence between us grew tense. I stared at Paul, and he stared right back at me. Then, finally, he broke the silence.  

“As long as you live under my roof, you live under my rules.”  

My boyfriend looked different. Older somehow, but also more… authoritative. He stood even taller and exuded a confidence I had never noticed in him before. My resistance started showing cracks. I didn’t want Paul to be mad at me. I loved him, but I wanted him to be proud of me even more.  

I sat down at my desk and jumped back on the call.  

“Hey guys,” I started, unsure how to articulate how I felt about what just happened. “I’ve got to take care of something quick. I’ll be right back.”  

Paul folded his arms across his chest and smiled at me. “See how easy that was?”  

“Yes,” I said, following him out of my office and upstairs to our bedroom.  

“Yes, what?”  

“Yes, Sir.”  

I’d had enough of Paul’s weird new attitude by Wednesday night, so I called up a work buddy and managed to get invited to his Friendsgiving Eve pub crawl. Sure, I’d be the oldest guy in the group by at least a decade, but it beat staying home with Paul, my now domineering man-of-the-house boyfriend.  

The pub crawl didn’t start until ten, which was my new weeknight bedtime—one of Paul’s “my roof, my rules” directives. I waited until he fell asleep in front of the TV and sneaked past the living room toward the garage. I didn’t get far.  

“Evan, turn around and come here.”  

Fuck. I mean, frick. I returned to the living room, where Paul was waiting for me. He was shirtless and wearing a pair of faded gym shorts. I stared at his belly. His grey hair reflected the glow from the fireplace. My cock stiffened. As much as I had wanted to avoid him these last few days, the way he looked now only made him sexier to me. The longer I spent around him, the harder it got to disobey or disagree.  

“Where were you going?”  

I stared at my shoes. “Nowhere.”  

He pointed at the sofa. I instinctively went to sit down.  

“I don’t like asking questions twice.”  

I sighed. “Just out. With some friends.”  

Paul dragged a chair over and sat down directly in front of me. He spread his legs to fill the space, and I could see the outline of his cock and balls in his thin shorts. “What if you’d gotten hurt while you were gone? You might be lying dead in a ditch somewhere, and I’d be up all night worrying.”  

“Sorry, Sir.” Sir had become an almost automatic part of my vocabulary. I couldn’t remember exactly when. “I didn’t mean to disrespect you.”  

“I know you didn’t.” Paul leaned forward and rested his elbows on his thighs. His pecs rested on his belly, and I felt precum on the insides of my underwear. “Now, why don’t you run upstairs and get in bed. Tomorrow’s a big day.”  

“Yes, Sir.” We stood. Paul extended his hand. I shook it. When our hands touched, something happened to us both. Dizziness and disorientation caused us to stagger, and we gripped our hands tighter to keep our balance. My double vision cleared, and I saw Paul pinching the bridge of his nose. My eyes darted down to his shorts. He was tenting.  

“You all right, son?” 

I looked back up at Sir. He smiled like he always did when he caught me looking. I let go of his hand, and he massaged his bulging erection.  

“Yes, Sir! Thank You, Sir!”  

“Good boy.” He rubbed my neck with the same hand that had touched his cock. “Now go get some shut-eye. I need my number one potato peeler rested and ready to work bright and early.”  

I hugged him tightly, ensuring our bulges made contact, and then ran up the stairs to our room. I was excited for tomorrow and hoped I would fall asleep quickly. I couldn’t wait for our special family Thanksgiving. 

Want more works like this? Buy Me a present off My Amazon wish list as a way to help support this and other writing endeavors.

[lumiereandcogsworth]

💙Smoshblr December Asks Day 16💛

Which 3 smosh-related clothing items would you like to own yourself? (this can be anything ranging from merch, costumes or just regular clothes the cast has worn in vids)

Bonus: Are there any cast/crew members that closely match what you regularly wear anyways?

i really like that heather grey hoodie with the blue florals on the >> logo. but it’s like $45 and i’m sorry i just don’t wanna pay that :( all their merch is too spendy it upsets me lol

they had some kind of lilac & baby blue tie-dye hoodie i think. i don’t think it’s being sold anymore but that would’ve been nice. was probably also a thousand dollars though

HEY WHERE’S THE SWORD AF MERCH, HUH? WHERE IS IT. WHERE IS THE SWORD AF MERCH. WHERE. WHERE IS IT.

anyway,

bonus: uhhmmmm maybe angela? i feel like she’s usually just in some kind of shirt and hoodie combo and that’s my vibe every day lmao. also damien for the fandom shirt energy.

[twistedtummies2]

COMMISSIONS 2024

Hello, everyone! It’s time to discuss a topic that I’ve put off longer than I probably should have: Story Commissions for 2024.

Let me start off by saying this flat-out: 2023 was an unmitigated disaster when it came to commissions. My plan to try and take care of crowd control backfired on a most spectacular level. And this was after me trying other experimental tactics to manage time, crowd control, and money alike, none of which really worked. As a result, my INITIAL plan for 2024 was to return to basics: to go back to the way I always did things, and just stick by that.

In some ways, that is exactly what I’m going to do. In others, not so much. So, HERE IS HOW COMMISSIONS WILL BE HANDLED FOR 2024.

I will be opening publicly in February of 2024. There will be commissions in January, BUT, for reasons I won’t go into here, I am contacting the commissioners for January privately. The specific current plan is to open publicly on February 16th, which is a Friday. If I need to open late, for any reason, the late opening will be February 19th; if I am able to open earlier, and I feel up to doing so, the early opening will be February 14th. All other dates for openings will be announced as they come.

I will LIKELY be open nine months out of the year: January (privately), February, April, May, July, August, September, October, and November. I am taking March off specifically because I’m going to be out of state for a week or so that month (unless something changes), and even if that trip gets canceled, I’ll also be having rehearsals for a play, very likely, in the time after I’d be scheduled to return. So by giving myself the extra month off, I’ll be able to ensure I complete commissions despite these hiccups, theoretically speaking. June and December I planned to take off anyway.

THIS IS IMPORTANT: I am - rather begrudgingly, I must confess - going to be raising my prices for commissions. I will also be lessening the number of commissions I take on. Specifically, I will be charging $15 per thousand words, and I will only have five slots available. As far as crowd control goes, I will deal with that on a case by case basis: if reservations for a month fill out, then I may not open publicly that month, but I will not open for multiple months at a time. I will go into why I am doing all this later in the journal, so just bear that in mind for the moment.

There will be special discounts offered in February, April, July, and November. These discounts won’t have any particular THEME, it’s just going to be a collection of characters/franchises that you can earn money off of. With the exception of July, the discounts for the other three months will all be handled the same way: if you request a piece with a character on the list, you will be charged $10 per thousand words instead of $15, basically getting five dollars off every thousand words and being charged what WAS my standard fee.

TIED TO THE PREVIOUS POINT, there will be a standing discount - which means it applies to EVERY month I’m open, not just those four - where if you request a story with one of my OCs as the main focal character, you will, again, be charged $10 per thousand words instead of $15 per thousand.

My extra fee will change slightly too: if I go 3000 words over the established minimum length, then I will start the charging at $5 instead of $10. This fee will still increase by five every thousand. So if the story is, for example, 3000 words to begin with: at $15 per thousand, this would cost $45. If I write 6000 words for that story, then the final price will be $50: forty-five plus a five-dollar extra fee. You can do the math from there.

Now that I’ve detailed all of that…let’s address the question no doubt on a lot of your minds: why have I raised the price and why have I shortened the number of stories? Well…the answer is simply one word: “necessity.” I realized, as a result of the fiasco that was 2023, and the problems with 2022 before it, that my work output has slowed down a LOT over the years, for MANY reasons. I physically cannot write the GIGANTIC stories lots of people commission from me quite as quickly as I used to. So, I’m lessening the number of stories, so that I have a better chance of finishing everything on schedule. However, if I’m going to lessen the number of stories, I then absolutely MUST raise the price: bills need to be paid, various other expenses need to be dealt with. I need to make the same amount per round as before, if not more so, and I need to do it more consistently. SO, I basically have no other recourse. It’s either only do work half the year with lots of stories but only about half the amount of money I’d make, or I do less stories, more frequently, but have to charge more as a consequence. I understand that, for lots of people, these conditions will prove troublesome. I did not blindly stagger into this decision: I consulted several friends and frequent commissioners to see what they thought, and all of them - even if they did admit it might be more difficult for a few of them - agreed this was the best choice to make.

I will be updating my Commission Info Post (and reblogging it) in the near future according to these new plans. Again, January commissions will be dealt with privately, and I plan to open publicly on February 16th. If anything else changes, I will let everybody know.

Thank you all for your patience, and your continued support. I hope this next year will be more fruitful and more fun than the last one. :-)

[dontmeantobepoliticalbut]

Infowars host Alex Jones and his company were ordered by a judge Thursday to pay an extra $473 million for promoting false conspiracy theories about the Sandy Hook school massacre, bringing the total judgment against him in a lawsuit filed by the victims’ families to a staggering $1.44 billion.

Connecticut Judge Barbara Bellis imposed the punitive damages on the Infowars host and Free Speech Systems. Jones repeatedly told his millions of followers the massacre that killed 20 first graders and six educators was staged by “crisis actors” to enact more gun control.

“The record clearly supports the plaintiffs’ argument that the defendants’ conduct was intentional and malicious, and certain to cause harm by virtue of their infrastructure, ability to spread content, and massive audience including the infowarriors,” the judge wrote in a 45-page ruling.

Christopher Mattei, a lawyer for the Sandy Hook families, said he hopes the award sends a message to conspiracy theorists who profit from lies.

“The Court recognized the ‘intentional, malicious ... and heinous’ conduct of Mr. Jones and his business entities,” Mattei said in a statement.

On his show Thursday, Jones called the award “ridiculous” and a “joke” and said he has little money to pay the damages.

“Well, of course I’m laughing at it,” he said. “It’d be like if you sent me a bill for a billion dollars in the mail. Oh man, we got you. It’s all for psychological effect. It’s all the Wizard of Oz ... when they know full well the bankruptcy going on and all the rest of it, that it’ll show what I’ve got and that’s it, and I have almost nothing.”

Eight victims’ relatives and the FBI agent testified during a monthlong trial about being threatened and harassed for years by people who deny the shooting happened. Strangers showed up at some of their homes and confronted some of them in public. People hurled abusive comments at them on social media and in emails. Some received death and rape threats.

Six jurors ordered Jones to pay $965 million to compensate the 15 plaintiffs for defamation, infliction of emotional distress and violations of Connecticut’s Unfair Trade Practices Act.

Jones, who lives and works in Austin, Texas, has bashed the trial as unfair and an assault on free speech rights. He says he will appeal the verdicts. He also has said he doesn’t have the money to pay such huge verdicts, because he has less than $2 million to his name — which contradicted testimony at a similar trial in Texas. Free Speech Systems, meanwhile, is seeking bankruptcy protection.

Jones said Thursday that he has only a “couple hundred thousand dollars" in his savings account.

Jones’ lawyer, Norm Pattis, wrote in a text message to the The Associated Press, “To paraphrase Karl Marx, the verdict was tragedy, this latest ruling is farce. It makes our work on appeal that much easier.”

Bellis found Jones and Infowars' parent company liable for damages without a trial last year, as a consequence for what she called his repeated failures to turn over many financial documents and other records to the plaintiffs. After the unusual “default” ruling, the jury was tasked only with deciding on the amount of compensatory damages and whether punitive damages were warranted.

Jones says that he turned over thousands of documents and that the default ruling deprived him of his right to present a defense against the lawsuit.

The punitive damages include about $323 million for the plaintiffs’ attorney fees and costs and $150 million for violations of the Unfair Trade Practices Act.

In Connecticut, punitive damages for defamation and infliction of emotional distress are generally limited to plaintiffs’ legal fees. The Sandy Hook plaintiffs’ lawyers are to get one-third of the $965 million in compensatory damages under a retainer agreement.

But there is no cap on punitive damages for violations of the Unfair Trade Practices Act. The plaintiffs had not asked for a specific amount of punitive damages, but under one hypothetical calculation they said such damages could be around $2.75 trillion under the law.

In a similar trial in Texas in August, Jones was ordered to pay nearly $50 million to the parents of another child killed in the Sandy Hook shooting for calling the massacre a hoax. A forensic economist testified during that trial that Jones and Free Speech Systems have a combined net worth as high as $270 million.

Jones hawks nutritional supplements, survival gear and other products on his show, which airs on the Infowars website and dozens of radio stations. Evidence at the Connecticut trial showed his sales spiked around a time he talked about the Sandy Hook shooting, leading the plaintiffs' lawyers to say he was profiting off the tragedy.

In documents recently filed in Free Speech Systems' bankruptcy case in Texas, a budget for the company for Oct. 29 to Nov. 25 estimated product sales would total $2.5 million, while operating expenses would be about $740,oo0. Jones' salary was listed at $20,000 every two weeks.

On Wednesday, Bellis, the Connecticut Judge, ordered Jones to not move any of his assets out of the country, as the families seek to attach his holdings to secure money for the damages. Jones, meanwhile, has asked the Judge to order a new trial or at least reduce the compensatory damages to a "nominal" amount.

A third and final trial over Jones' hoax claims is expected to begin around the end of the year in Texas. As in Connecticut, Jones was found liable for damages without trials in both Texas cases because he failed to turned over many records to the plaintiffs.

[auspex]

Multiples of nine for Mark!!!

WHEW this took me 4ever im sorry. some good ones in here! :D Thank you

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9. when in their life were they most scared?

I struggled with this one because there are a lot of contenders and it somewhat depends on the type of fear. The most horror they felt was probably standing over Sampson’s unconscious injured body after almost having drank from him (which would have killed them) and entering hunger frenzy. The most fear he felt in a more visceral way, for his life, was early on in his embrace, during the coup where the then-prince was ousted and the coterie was caught in the crossfire- since he was just turned I imagine that even though he’s been in other (un)life threatening situations that one was the scariest. And finally the most dread he probably felt was when entering Gaius’s lab, he confronted a large troll who was blocking the exit.. Thankfully that worked out cause it was Kyle. But Mark thought he was SO screwed.  -

18. what dish brings back the best memories for them? Mark got cookies from the neighbors one day and in his memory, its the best food he’s ever had. But I’m not sure if that brings up the best memories necessarily. Hm. 

I’ll say that he had some sort of celebration dinner after defending his PhD with Dr. Armatto and, whatever he had then, would be the dish that brings back the best memories for him. Not that he could eat it now in the same way :( I will decide what that is later… maybe some expensive steak that he wouldn’t normally buy for himself. -

27. how do they usually dress? why do they dress the way they do?

Answered!

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36. how do they fidget?

Answered!

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45. what lies do they tell themselves?

A few right now! Mark loves telling himself lies. I’ll go with the two most delicious ones. One that is VERY important for him to keep up: “I am trying to kill Julius but I don’t have to tell him that because it could never succeed because of how all-powerful he is. I should in fact NOT tell him I am trying to do this because then he would have to limit me, and I am useful to him right now. Limiting me would only hurt him and he should not do that because it is good to help him. Ergo, it is fine to hide that I am trying to kill him, from him, as he is in no actual danger.” 

He is intentionally keeping that one up so he can try to break free of Julius without dying YAYYY his skills in Repression have helped him. 

As well: “I enjoy hanging out with Cassidy because of our shared interests only and because there isn’t anyone else I could do that with right now. I am keeping an appropriate amount of caution and distance with a kindred far older than me. I am only wondering why he is gay because of recent comments he made and I have no investment in the outcome. I only gave him a whole TV because it was a very simple thing for me to do to make someone else very happy and also perhaps he manipulated me. But if he did it was only a small thing that doesn’t matter. It is ok. He cannot manipulate me further because I have normal, platonic, feelings for him, and can keep an emotional distance.” 

I love u Mark my god… u fool. 

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54. how important is money in their life? do they save up for ages, or spend quickly?

Well, Julius gives him a monthly income of thousands of dollars because money is nothing to Julius and he doesn’t want Mark to have to worry about mundane things. However, Mark can’t save money this way - Julius just basically replaces whatever Mark spent that month. 

He will get income from his territory once that is finally set up as well which he could actually keep month to month I think!

Mark has good discipline about saving money so if he needed to he could. Right now he just considers it one less thing to worry about, thank god. 

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63. what’s a meme or tiktok or vine (or whatever) that you associate with them?

Answered!