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#it’s very funny to picture the poets doing laundry
hotchley · 2 years
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🐨 Yo, I’m a finalist in a poetry contest! Woah! It was a contest where you could only submit poems that have been previously rejected, and if you didn’t advance, they sent you a picture of an ostrich instead of a rejection letter. It’s hilarious. Right now, people are voting for the final poems. I’m not in the lead or anything, but it’s still super cool just to be amongst all these really awesome poets.
I’m a bit swamped by school work at the moment, but it’s a long weekend so I have some time at least.
What’s the latest with you at Uni? I’ve been working on my college applications, so we’ll see how all that progresses.
Oh my goodness that is so cool! Well done for trying and for getting so far!! Very excited for you <3
This sounds like an excellent competition and we need more like that. I mean, even if you aren't in the lead, you put yourself out there and you like what you write which matters the most. And everyone else is probably also like: oh wow these other people are the coolest.
No because same, I don't know where the week went (well i do, but you know) and I literally haven't gotten anything done all week. And I've come down for the weekend so I can just tell Monday is going to be a catch-up day... I could do stuff now but just ugh.
You know what, uni hasn't been shit! I've made a few more friends so now I have people to spend time with in between lectures and it's less lonely which is nice. There's also a ton of events next week for charity and I'm going to a few so hopefully I'll meet some people then! We still don't have heating or hot water but I do have a portable heater and I'm showering in a really nice bathroom so it balances out (ish but not really...)
My actual degree is quite fun and I am enjoying it quite a bit. My favourite module is the one everyone else hates which is just so typical. It was a bit awkward because there was some super-conservative guy but that was a one-off. Also my tutorial group is really nice but there's this one guy that doesn't give anyone else a chance and this one girl who also doesn't stop talking and it got to the point in one of them where the lead could see I wanted to speak so he asked the question then looked at me and went: do you want a go? That was a little awkward. And! My lecturer ended up taking one of my tutorials which was a little scary but he's the sweetest.
Oh. Funny story. I didn't do laundry before I came down last time because I thought: I can carry it! So I did it on Wednesday because taking it down is a nightmare. Only problem is, I'm really short so I had to ask someone to get part of it down from the dryer for me. Awful. Absolutely awful.
But yeah! That's uni life! The freedom is a bit strange. I'm still somewhat lacking in routine but it's coming together. Good luck with college! And remember: it's better to be yourself and get rejected because then you know they weren't the place for you
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ess-presso · 2 years
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hi ess! <3 im back🕺
ur so right the universe ships wolfstar. i also saw regulus when stargazing but he was too far away from sirius to be in the picture💔 one day reg, one day.
ALSO happy late lily evans day <3 cant believe i missed her bday. rip lily u wouldve loved taylor swift❤️
tay time! mr perfectly fine, message in a bottle, & last kiss <3
chat time!
i dont think i could force myself to sit through dwd, ive learned enough abt it via osmosis and thats enough for me tbh.
THEY SERIOUSLY DO TAKE PICS OF TREES AND CLOUDS!! it baffles me. like sure maybe the clouds looked particularly nice and i understand that canada has some big ass trees but be fr. also i swear someone was taking a pic of a fucking pigeon once.
ur so right id also lose my mind over a red sock in my laundry. i think thatd be the final straw for me.
i think i have to agree ben barnes' smile in podg is very sirius. dorian gray IS sirius in the same way paul from dune is reg. no joke i almost called paul regulus to my dad the other day. not my finest moment❤️
godspeed on ur exam, u got this💪 drunk procrastinators never lose.
I DID SEE THAT VIDEO OF THE PERSON BITING THE TERRYS ORANGE!! i swear ive never been so mad before. also toblerone def is an essential drunk snack for sure.
that moment sounds so sweet, and it was raining too????? thats literally perfect. no matter how hard i could try i know liv would never dance to jazz w me. definitely considering revoking her best friend status right about now. but its fine because i know shed dance w me to taylor and 1d so that makes up for it <3
geoguessr can be so hard sometimes especially when its in america. like i swear unless its a city with signs i can never get it. like how am i supposed to know that this big ass field was kentucky and not fucking iowa.
L best friends for the win!!!!!! but ur right they lucked out too cause we're incredibly cool so good for them<3
maybe one day my negative rizz will pay off but ur right. until then i'll kick back with my wine & books & fanfics cause thats all i need in life. & damn cursing victoria to fail her exams, u know what thats so valid she deserves it.
likeafunerall's art is SO GOOD. so good. im obsessed with her character designs theyre just so perfect. and omg yes u should totally put them up on ur wall itll look so good. AND YES I SAW THE SOLDIER POET KING ART!!! its so good i cant. likeafunerall never misses.
I SAW THAT APPLETV AD YESTERDAY! i was freaking out like i swear appletv is doing this on purpose.
work song is simply so good. id KILL to see hozier live and for him to perform that song.
if i talk to caesar ill let u know. he was stabbed ~23 times so id say thats on par with a jesus style betrayal (esp since brutus was his close friend) rip julius i do hope u got a lil kiss before they maimed u<3
is alex turner psychic??? thats so funny.
omg not the famous 1975 concert featuring taylor swift.....id be utterly heartbroken. and right?? harry canada exists too u know..... i had tickets to love on tour before covid but then it was cancelled and then he fully REMOVED THE SHOW when he started touring again and now the closest one is in america. sorry harry but i dont love u enough to go to america.
dressing in red and gold is so gryffindor of u. i wear a lot of green so that tracks ig.
dw cruel summer will forever be my fav scream-at-the-top-of-ur-lungs song. its just perfect. dbm simply isnt that kind of song.
omg only ch2 of cr.... i am praying for u . but dont worry its SO good. like yes its heartbreaking but so worth it. i honestly miss the earlier chapters everything was so simple </3
rome is definitely the city of piss and gladiators. i guess not much has changed since antiquity !!
when people are blocking the hall and im just done with them i usually take it upon myself to barrel through them or give them dirty looks (sorry people but i have places to be MOVEW PLEASE)
two middle names is so cool u have options. u can change it up whenever u want u know.
UNCLE MOONY :((((((((
winter <3 and yes i hate when people call it fall. like autumn is such a pretty word. fall is literally so lame . so many people call it fall here and i hate it. its autumn!!!!!!! >:(
good luck on ur chem exam !! telepathically sending all my academic energy to u rn. dont forget to channel the patron saint of academic achievement, remus lupin. AND FUCK PHYSICS!!!!!
coins are so cool. i have one from Iran from 1950 that i got in my change from kfc and its so cool. and a paddington coin??? omg thats so cute.
unicorns and phoenixes are so cool fr. & u know who to call if u ever get bit by a basilisk!
bookstore dates are ideal fr. but only if the other person likes books (but also red flag if they dont......i am not wasting my time on someone who doesnt like books)
stealing money from the bank in monopoly is so real. i used to bribe the banker whenever i got desperate and it never ended well. and yes learn chess!! its so fun and it makes u feel smart.
yes van gogh recreations! she is so cool tbh. now if only i inherited even an ounce of her artistic ability and maybe id be satisfied. and cafe terrace at night is just so pretty. so peaceful and serene. i can imagine quiet jazz playing in the street while u look up at the stars. its so pretty.
OH NOOO sorry abt ur bio exam☹️ (<-girl what the hell is that i justwanted to use an emoji.....anyways) hope ur chem exam goes better!! & bakery + taylor is very good combo. proven to cure all ails.
and omg ur so right. picking out books for each other and then annotating them??? that is SO CUTE!!!!! SO CUTE! u get me.
hozier is completely in my bones too he lives there. i wanna get a hozier tattoo someday too he consumes me fr.
i love being a sports anti!! (badminton ur on thin fucking ice. )
yes proud italian over here🇮🇹💪 i love pasta sm. and omg portuguese?? thats so cool. ive always wanted to visit portugal. ive never actually had portuguese food & i really wanna try it now.
reg is SUCH a black cat. & james absolutely sings horribly in the shower and everyone is so tired of him. sirius prob does too but remus secretly loves it <3 jily night owl-early bird has my heart fr. also the james never getting hungover hc is so funny like Yes. he would get blackout drunk and then wake up at the asscrack of dawn the next day for quidditch practice, thank u.
dorlene forever. sorry peter but those women are gay. and idk how to feel abt reg/remus. ig if its written well its not bad but it feels almost wrong. at least their ship name (moonwater i think) is kinda cute.
i agree the patronuses are quite slytherin but def also ravenclaw (i have gotten ravenclaw multiple times when i take the test so ig thats my secondary house)
luna <3 shes just so cool and i love her funky sense of style.
yes dairy queen is ice cream! but also burgers and stuff too. but theyre known for their ice cream which is so good. if u ever visit north america i recommend.
omg barrs cream soda!!!! ive had that before from a lil british food shop i found & it was so good. better than canadian cream soda for sure.
q review:
this is me trying is so real. burnt out gifted kid syndrome hits like a truck.
omg a black swan that is so cool!! mysterious and shit fr.
my tears ricochet is such a good choice (& cruel summer) it hits every damn time.
ooo shapeshifting very good choice. just think of all the places u could get into by shapeshifting, celeb a-list parties?? the oscars?? buckingham palace?? ur set for life.
messy is so valid & i hate losing socks so mcuh like actually where the fuck did they go.
omg SMARTIES!!!!! i love smarties so much. they dont have them in america and i pity them. jaffa cakes are so good too.
shakespeare is such a good choice hes so cool. to meet The genius himself would be a dream.
work song FOREVERRRR
i love these hype songs. excellent hype vibes.
SNOW!! i love making snowmen sm. its actually snowing here as i type. idk what happened to the 10degree weather but yeah.
lady macbeth and macbeth !!!!! i love this. and omg i was OBSESSED with it in 2017 like OBSESSED. lemme try and guess who's who here.....u have said lu was taller than u so were u georgie? hoping im right.
answering qs:
fuck marlene, marry lily, kill pandora. i love pandora so much but i cant pass up an opportunity with marlene. sorry pandora <3
fuck reg, marry evan, kill barty. i think im too similar to reg to wanna marry him (although he is very wealthy.....) & evan seems like good marriage material so. also killing barty bc its funny.
what i like to spend my money on: mostly clothes and jewelry. and candles sometimes. omg and books how could i forget!!
inside joke with liv: we've got this dumb little handshake we've had since literally forever that we call the bunnyfish (long story, idek how to begin explaining it) im the bunny shes the fish. ive been trying to convince her to get matching bunny and fish tattoos FOREVER but to no success. ill get there someday!!
weird fear: maybe more of an irrational fear but i cannot lean against car doors while theyre moving cause what if it opens and i fall out on to the road and die. like what if. it plagues my life fr.
weirdest dare ive ever done: tbh i cant even remember. i usually pick truth cause my friends can be EVIL and i will not subject myself to their dares. they're never creative enough with their truth questions so its always something dumb like "darkest secret" or "who do u like"
worst impulse buy: luckily nothing huge, but i impulse buy random shit like nail polish or lipstick all the time. i have yet to buy something i fully regret but im sure the day will come!
fav quote ever: AHH okay this is such a good question. my absolute fav is from anne carson's an oresteia:
“Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.”
something about someone wanting to take care of u even when ur at ur worst just KILLS ME. RIPS me apart.
9. fav quote from a fic: this is a basic answer but i really love that line in atyd about james having an ego the size of a lake but a heart to match it. just <3 yes. i love that man so much. theres also a bunch of lines in just lovers by zar that are taken from little women that just kill me every time i read.
10. ever met a celeb: ive never spoken to any but i DID walk past seth rogen like a month ago. and i saw john mulaney with olivia munn over this past summer too it was jarring.
11. fav snack: theres this snack mix i love called humpty dumpty party mix and its SO good. (the cheese one specifically) its got mini pretzels and doritos and puffy cheetos and crunchy cheetos and these little cheesy hoop things in it and its delicious.
12. crush on anyone: (dw ur good i dont mind!) not atm! i think my standards are too high bc of fictional characters and celebs so people irl always pale in comparison. like if ur not james potter or lily evans or sirius black im not wasting my time its simple.
13. who knows me best: definitely liv. she is as much a part of me as i am of her and we can read each others minds. also my dad, im almost a carbon copy of him cause we have the same interests and sense of humour .
14. lover vs getaway car: lover. the hopeless romantic in me had to. i love getaway car but its gonna have to be lover <3
15. all time favourite moment: visiting italy and greece was a dream come true cause ive always wanted to visit since i was a little kid. since it was a school trip i was with my friends and liv ofc and i had the time of my life. seeing the parthenon irl and the colosseum in rome changed the trajectory of my life fr.
16. fav moment with liv: ive got many but one specific one thats really special to me was when i came out to her & fine line by harry styles was playing & she almost crashed the car cause she was crying (WITH HAPPINESS LOL) it was very funny. that song has a special place in my heart bc of that <3 i also love when we go for late night drives and blast music. or when when we go to the beach at sunset with a bottle of wine>>>
17. r(egg) vs r(edge): im a r(redge) truther idc. i know his name is rEGulus but i am Not calling him r(egg) it sounds like EGG!!!!! r(edge) forever.
18. languages: sadly english is the only one i fluently speak. i know some italian but im not fluent (i blame my dad, whos literally from italy but didnt fucking teach me his language. wtf man) i also know some spanish and very very minimal french. i can read basic norwegian as well(i was obsessed with SKAM in 2015 so i had to learn some) BUT in terms of reading, i can read ancient greek and a bit of latin. also aurebesh which is a writing system from star wars (massive fucking nerd alert)
qs for u!
fuck marry kill evan reg barty
fuck marry kill pandora lily marlene
how many languages do u speak?
fav gemstone/crystal/stone?
have u watched the new last of us show? (if u havent u should its SO good)
sea, forest, or mountains?
what was ur dream job when u were a kid?
whats a topic u could talk for hours about?
celeb crush(es)?
spotify or apple music? (or other if u dont use these)
fav constellation?
fav memory with lu?
whats one food u have always wanted to try?
thats all for now! if u see this before u take ur exam GOOD LUCK!!!! u got this. if u see this after i hope it went well. either way remus would be proud <3
-bee
bee beee beeeeeee !!!! <33333
“too far away from sirius to be in the picture.” fuck fuck fuck this is the cause of my DEATH. i died and this is why. (pls one day catch them in a pic together. one of us shall do this. new mission.)
I KNOW HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY TO THE BEST MILF EVER <33333 (did you see theinvisiblemuseum’s fanart of lily ???? it’s so fucking good ???) & you’re right she would’ve so loved taylor swift (can imagine her dancing to lover with james)
tay tay <333
mr perfectly fine - JEGULUS - this song is fucking jegulus after they break up and regulus is all ‘you promised. you promised. you promised’ ‘Mr. "Leaves me all alone, " I fall apart// It takes everything in me just to get up each day’ IT’S LITERALLY HIMMMM. he left and regulus fucking shattered this is the TRUTH.
message in a bottle - JEGULUS - i’m thinking a celebrity au jegulus where they like date secretly or james is a fanboy then gets famous and reg writes a track for James’s movie (??? fic idea alert) AND I’M SO YES. THE MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE IS SUCH A REGULUS THING TO DO , TOO . (mr rab in a locket)
last kiss - JEGULUS / WOLFSTAR - this matches perfectly for both of them - except more wolfstar because in canon i think reg would’ve definitely known that they’d have a last kiss. and remus was the one who would’ve trusted him and all that shit. (and hello?? remus would so fuckin dance for sirius this is canon?? and wear his clothes after he’s in azkaban . )
fic rec for u (did i forget last time ?? i will not do this again , ‘tis a crime) - pink lemonade by moonysbookshelff (ft jegulus wolfstar rosekiller , with ace evan , and a happy ending , and also it’s a celeb au!!)
chatting !!!!
no because i’ve heard far too much of harry’s englishman accent when he’s yelling in some speech to sit through 2hrs of that shit.
“kids look this is a souvenir pic i took many years ago from my trip to london , the city of fashion & vibes.” “that’s a fucking pigeon mom.” (not a fucking pigeon why the fucking pigeon. no please no.)
but tbh pink is my favourite colour …. but i have too many shirts and trousers that i’d lose my mind to see as pink. so no thanks , no red socks today!!
YES OMG !!! podg ben barnes = sirius & dune tim = regulus !!!! this is canon major fucking canon !!!!!!!!! (it’s the smile and the facial expressions.) AND CALLING PAUL REGULUS THAT’S A CLOSE ONE . they might’ve found out the depths of your insanity then !!
yes yes godspeed but i did medium well on it. like everyone’s yapping on about the last q on the exam which they got like ‘4.35’ and i got 190 so idk. that’s like 2 marks i lost right then and there!!!
that lady should be arrested for war crimes. it was madness i tell you, MADNESS.
taylor and 1D over jazz , but you gotta try the jazz thing at least once. at least. it feels surreal, i’m telling you. this liz sounds so fucking cool high five to us dude we won the lottery of best friends.
wdym you didn’t know it was kentucky??? was there not a fucking colonel sanders standing right there ??? COLONEL SANDERS FOR THE WIN (i love kfc!) . this what i’m saying all fields look the same i can’t fuckin differentiate.
L & E // L & B —- > best motherfucking friends you will ever find ever. got the ‘married by 40’ pact with my dude too.
wine & books & fanfic > actual romantic satisfaction. alwaysssss. (i do not like her anymore. she’s consdescending as fuck. what the fuck do u mean ‘can’t believe u dk what a processor blah blah computer shit thingy is ??’ BITCH CAN U TELL ME WHAT A FUCKING KETONE IS ???? i thought not.)
i’m so obsessed with likeafuneralls art. she’s drawn the first art of xenophilius lovegood i’ve ever seen and looking at it i was like ‘damn now i understand how pandora got locked down.’ ALRIGHT OKAY THEY’LL GO UP ON MY WALLS NOW. (you’re literally so right likeafunerall literally never misses her art is fucking ETHEREAL.)
IK IK THEY ARE . ESPECIALLY THE TIMMY AND GARY OLDMAN THING I WAS LIKE ‘SIRIUS AND REG SIRIUSANDREG.’ this like when andrew and ben barnes met (have u seen that photo pls say yes it’s life changing as fuck.)
me too i really want to go to a fuckin hozier concert i rlly think my life would be changed. like it would be.
on a slightly related note- have u seen the jesusxjudas edits??? they’re fr making me all emotional like damn jesus knew and he was all ‘fine I sacrifice myself if u kiss me u lil bitch’ . & yes i hope brutus gave him a little eye contact at the very least. like something intense.
HE IS PSYCHIC. I swear it. i love it.
i was so fuckin heartbroken it was unreal and my heart was a bunch of tosh for like three days. harry thinks only usa exists . like hello??? what abt canada ?? AHAT ABOUT YOUR ROOTS??? ENGLAND ??? LONDON??? MANCHESTER??? I don’t care about u enough to go to the usa for u (i’d only do that for ZAYN.)
we dress like our houses as we should (currently in red pjs because it’s 9:00am and my exam is at 1:30 so i don’t have to leave until like 12:30.)
cruel summer just fuckin hits right yk??? it just does it’s like i ascend to heaven . ( ‘GRINNING LIKE A DEVIL’ is my national anthem fr)
😀😀😀😀 i’m very scared now ! very ! but i shall power through because i am no stranger to pain! yay!
piss & gladiators ong. that’s such a funny sentence though fr ‘piss and gladiators’ .
next time i’ll deck them in their motherfuckin faces. not kidding. was nearly late to my exam because of them. but I’ll just give them detention because as a higher-up , i can do that! so very good!! college student gives the lil bitches in the corridors detention !! more at 7!
yessss i can switch it up. when i get lu to pick me up and i’m taking a lil too long to get ready he just full names me and i’m THERE. but ess is good for me honestly it’s all smooth and stuff.
UNCLE MOONY :((((( (*sobs*)
IT’S AUTUMN. AUTUMN . this is truth. nothing else is true but this. (winter is bae.)
AHHHHH THANK U SM !!!!!! I AM GRACIOUSLY ACCEPTING THIS ENERGY OH MY GODDDD. i will challenge mr lupin through myself i will. (fuck physics !!)
just be loyal to dumpydumpster and fawkes will come through !!! (unicorns & phoenixes 5ever!!)
nah this is so real of u don’t waste ur time on non-book lovers book lovers only pls and thank u everyone else fuck off you aren’t good enough.
stealing money from the bank yesssss. hut unfortunately lu is the banker and he’s just as competitive so he will not budge AT. ALL. all right this friday i’m getting lu to teach me that’s it.
cafe terrace at night walk by with your bf/gf and hold their hand and ahhh melttttt . And jazz would so be a part of this experience i agree !!!
I AM ALSO SORRY ABOUT MY BIO EXAM. but i put something down for every q and that’s a fuckin achievement. honestly . the brownie was vv good plus a walk and taylor , solved so many of my problems honestly.
WE GOTTA FIND SOMEONE TO DO THIS WITH ISTG. annotating books with shi like ‘you’d do this’ making me cry and that.
hozier is me. i is him. we are one. imagine having a song written about u by hozier. like i’d straight up keel over and DIE.
Sports suck !! (badminton and sometimes cricket watching me . and also lu. )
AHAHA ITALIAN YESSSS. portugal is fucking amazing . there’s a little church up in portugal (sanctuary of out lady fatima) and it’s my peace place honestly . feeling so much less worry when i’m there. if u go to portugal that is a must!!! AND so is algarve. algarve is also home <333 I miss it now :) THE FOOD IS AMAZING , YESSS!!! you must try pastel de nata !!! (egg custard tarts!!!) i really love them they’re so fucking good.
REG AS A BLACK CAT IS THE ONLY HC THAT MATTERS HONESTLY. I love it so so much. and james as a horrible shower singer ???? canon fr. (i adore jily night owl/early bird so fucking much it’s like a release i adore it so much they had that for a little while at least!) JAMES HAS MAGICAL POWERS FR FR !!!! i wish i had them too damn me with headaches and shit.
yes they’re lesbians if i’ve ever seen them. and moonWATER???? that’s fucking HARSH ??? (i’d read a oneshot maybe. maybe.)
my secondary house is slytherin !!! and oh my god that’s literally so cool i just have the one patronus!!
luna luna luna i’m just as sane as her she gets me fr.
I’m literally so jealous of so many American restaurants. i want dairy queen now damn. if i ever come there i will go to dairy queen and i’m very excited for that.
barrs cream soda is literally bae it’s so good (though it used to be 39p and now it’s 59p ???? rip off asf but i’d still buy it )
i’m an ex-gifted kid now try-hard
IK IT IS MYSTERIOUS AS FUCK
mtr kills me . i’m in a battlefield every time i hear that song fr. (cruel summer is a close second <33)
one second i am timmy tim at the oscars next i am one of the queen’s corgis!!!!! the opportunities are endless
they went into the fucking vacuum of the earth or something where else WHY DOES IT HAPPEN. WHY DO YOU GO. STAY???
smarties and jaffa cakes >>> shitty american chocolate
it would be a dream. I have so many questions and he’s the only one who could ever answer that.
work song. work song. work song.
THEY GET ME ALL BOPPING WHILE I’M GETTING DRESSED AND STUFF.
it’s SNOWING??? lucky asf tell me if it’s enough for a snowman at the very least.
WE THOUGHT WE WERE SO SMART BECAUSE WE KNOW MACBETH BY HEART having studied it and all!! (AND I KNEW YOU’D GUESS THAT. i was it & he was georgie and that’s what was so funny because he’s taller so him wearing a yellow raincoat and with the red balloon and stuff it was so funny. and i was the creepy fucking clown but he was still funnier because imagine a tall blonde georgie like DAMN. )
reviewing q’s -
marlene would treat you right. I just know she would.
marry him for the money!!! marrying evan is a good choice too though (killing barty for the win!!!)
clothes and books and candles and jewellery YESSS GIRL AS YOU SHOULD JAZZ YOURSELF UP.
liv better step up and get that tattoo. you guys are the bunnyfish it’s practically illegal not to get that tattoo.
no same honestly i’m a second away from my death i could be rolling on the ground and die in a few second fr you’re so valid for this.
picking truth forever yessss >>>> (i’ve picked dare but i’m playing with lu so it’s always stuff like ‘i dare u to eat a spoonful of ketchup’ like damb boy you can do better.)
i buy nail polish and lipstick from poundland and primark all the time. literally it’s an addiction because i think buying them for a pound is a good deal . but then i buy like 20 of them and suddenly i’m a hoarder. (special mention to my buys of the royal butter and the toblerone!)
THIS QUOTE. OH MY GOD THIS QUOTE THIS QUOTE . killing me opening me helaing me and killing me. someone loving u like this is all u fucking need fr >>>
james potter has an ego the size of a lake but a heart to match. mskingbean knew what she was doing fr . I LIVE FOR LITTLE WOMEN REFERENCES IN FICS OMG I’M ACTUALLY WRITING ONE AS WE SPEAK.
i’ve never met a celebrity so that’s annoying. wlaking past seth rogen??? so casually??? i’d be screaming and stuff. seeing john mulaney and olivia munn must be jarring actually. i’m jarred rn. like wdym they sit around eating lunch like me??
this sounds so funny ‘humpty dumpty party mix’ dying dead. but also i want to eat it sounds really fucking good and such a range of cuisine in there seriously.
no this is so real of u. I don’t crush on anyone except for fictional characters who real humans will never ever live up to.
ahhhhhhhhh liv knowing you bestttt that’s peak platonic soulmatism!!!! (your dad sounds so cool 2 fr) i get that sm because lu knows me best and that’s honestly peak knowing someone that well .
lover’s my first dance song, but it depends on what mood i’m in. sometimes i need to feel like a criminal, and at that point it’s getaway car. but rn it’s lover. in a very lover mood atm.
AHHHHH OH MY GOD THAT’S SO COOL AHHHHHHHHH SEEING THE PARTHENON??? I wanna see it too DAMN.
coming out while driving yesssss because they have to keep driving. (And to Harry styles??? double cool??) for me it was lu that figured it out . he was like damn you a bisexual. (obviously more deep but this is very much the gist of it) LONG DRIVES WITH MUSIC AND WINE AND SUNSET OH MY GODDDDDDD . DREAM.
u chose the right answer. like idc as a brit , which is where regulus is from , i say r(edge) so it’s redge. DONE. (although if anyone else says it it doesn’t matter ALL that much. )
listen i watched friends and i think ‘va fa a napoli’ is a swear ??? confirmation pls ??? I TRIED TO LEARN SWEDISH FOR THIS EXACT REASON OMG. because i was obsessed with young royals but i only did one lesson. my brain said no! i did 6 years of french , have a french fluent best friend and still can’t speak it properly. such a pain honestly. (that’s such a cute lil nerdy thing to do tho damn girl u get that excited???? go learn your star wars language YES DO IT!!!) (AHHH U CAN READ ANCIENT GREEK ??? MA’AM THAT’S SO COOL.)
q’s for me —->
fuck evan marry reg kill barty. i am a gold digger. that’s all. and barty because he did stuff to alive and frank and if it comes to choosing i shall bring that up unfortunately .
marry lily fuck marlene kill pandora (sorry pandora sorry u don’t deserve it) lily evans is WIFEY. she is wife she is mother i am hers and she is mine. love her.
My time to shine as a polyglot.
portuguese
gujrati
hindi
urdu
marathi
bsl
i am fluent in all of the above but i also speak punjabi a lil and also know braille english , but apparently that’s not a language so i can’t use it.
4. topaz cool as shit. so topaz , but also obsidian and amethyst (birthstone alert!!)
5. i have not ! however I saw a quote of it on my dash (‘you were my purpose’) so now i will watch it !! very excited for it !!!
6. forest. could be lovely there with picnics and shit. i’ve had a forest picnic and i’ve been fine so forest. not sea because i won’t betray reg , and not mountains because i cannot climb !!!
7. weirdly enough a hairdresser 💀💀💀 wtf was up in my head??? i used to think the cutting and dyeing hair was so cool and i really wanted to do it until i was like 9. then i got some sense knocked into me.
8. cancer 💀💀i did my epq (which is like a dissertation of sorts) on this and i still remember everything and honestly it’s so sad and so much but i could talk about it for ages. BUT ON A HAPPIER NOTE !!! I COULD TALK ABOUT PLATONIC SOULMATISM FOR HOURS !!!!!! HOW A FRIEND LIEK THAT IS SO SO IMPORTANT THAN HAVING A BILLION FRIENDS WHO WON’T EVEN KNOWN YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR !!!!
9. timothée chalamet & louis partridge ( i love timmy for obvious reasons & i could so treat louis better than his grandma ass girlfriend come here bb) ALSO FLORENCE AND ZENDAYA (but I don’t want tom to bite my thumb off for simping after his gf)
10.APPLE MUSIC !!!!! APPLE MUSIC FOREVER AND EVER ARE YOU KIDDING ???? dolby atmos just does somrthing to my ears.
11.canis major !!! very sirius of me but canis major !!! love it and i can tell which star is sirius right away. but draco is a close second !!!
12.well u know about the dancing jazz . so i’ll pick another one (hard to choose damn) i took him with me to a wedding as my date (fake of course because of the family asking do u have a bf yet do u have a bf yet) and he was the white boy there and he was wearing a tux and he was so innocent and everything he ate was so spicy he nearly cried but he powered through and when he came out on the dance floor he DID THE DANCE BETTER THAN ME???? how dare he??????? and he was so nice to all my family who kept calling him ‘gora’ (white boy) even though he fully knew what that meant . like he did all that and he bought a toaster to gift to them as well. it was something else and i will always remember that. BUT ALSO I HAVE ANOTHER WEDDING COMING UP SOON (start of march) AND I’M TAKING HIM AS MY FAKE DATE AGAIN !!!! hoping he’s built his spice tolerance up , but i shall update u soon on whether he has or not.
13. i really fucking want wingstop. like so badly. I would fly to the us for that shit i just WANT ONE CHOMP ON THAT STUFF. it looks so fucking good and life changing like damn come in my mouth bb. And also birria tacos. i need to try that asap it looks so good i could cry.
q’s for u -
something u could talk about for hours?
worst advice you’ve ever given?
worst advice you’ve ever taken?
if u were a periodic table element which one would u be ?
what’s your undercover spy name ?
do you prefer savoury or sweet?
Who’s your favourite friend (from the tv show)?
3 wishes ??
how long are u surviving in a zombie apocalypse?
favourite stone ?
fave constellation ?
weirdest dream ?
worst dream?
best dream ?
timothée chalamet or ben barnes ?
things u eat at the movies ?
last text you sent?
last text you got ?
phone calls or text messages ?
what greek tragedy hero are u ? (this is a quiz & i got orpheus !)
And what’s your favourite meme ? I must know this?
(beeeeee beeee thank u for being such a lovely human !!! come back soon !!! i will miss u and i’m seeing this before the exam , so i’m chanelling all my remus Lupin energy into this. thank u for the luck , i wish u luck in life <3333 come back soon dont be too long !!! )
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sarcasmic-skies · 3 years
Text
the dead poets vs. laundry 🧺
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based on this post by @tuskofthyme <3
i’ve worked in the laundry industry for 4+ yrs so i feel qualified to speak on the matter 😌✨(jokes!)
**i wrote these hcs under the assumption the welton boys are responsible for their own laundry & i tried to adjust to be accurate to 1959!! the first bullet points for charlie & knox i based on a guy my sister knew in college! he was from vermont & yes, that’s the god-honest truth. it makes me laugh every time i think abt it, which is at least once a day
charlie:
him & knox never learned how to do laundry so they just. buy new clothes whenever they run out of clean ones. meeks & todd are horrified.
purchases only name-brand garments. never looks at price tags (trust fund baby)
calls the laundromat a “laundry-mat”
charlie’s mother washes his clothes for him whenever he’s home. he always says thank-you and kisses her on the cheek <3 (he’s a mama’s boy)
after rowing practice he throws his dirty uniform in a pile in the corner of his & cameron’s room. the pile grows through the term, along with mold and mildew :)
favorite garment: a bright pink polo shirt he bought after reading ‘a separate peace’ (1959)
has really nice clothes but doesn’t take care of em (“i can’t put my leather jacket in the washing machine??! what do you mean i’m gonna ruin it?!? cows don’t get ruined when it rains!!!”)
once, charlie was trying to be funny and got stuck in one of the dryers at the laundromat. it took the combined efforts of pitts, meeks, todd, neil, and knox to pull him out.
neil:
watched his mother do the laundry growing up & learned by observation. his aunt taught him how to sew at the age of twelve
always lays his beloved wool sweaters flat to dry so they wont shrink in the dryer
hangs his pants with a crease. color-codes his closet. repairs any tears in his clothes with his travel-size mending kit
pairs & rolls his socks, most of which are argyle
embroiders tiny hearts on the inside of all his sweater sleeve cuffs for todd to find
goes with todd, meeks, and pitts to the laundromat every sunday after welton’s mass
gave up on trying to teach charlie proper garment care years ago (he refuses to learn)
always makes an effort to look polished and sharp. takes really good care of his clothes. mr. perry loves to remind neil that “appearances are everything”
likes to read the movie magazines at the laundromat. gossips with the older women about montgomery clift, rock hudson, and tab hunter
has to fight the urge to jump in one of the laundry carts and roll around the store every time he’s there bc carpe diem!
todd:
he’s helped his mom with the laundry from the time he could reach the dials on the washing machine. todd’s learned just about everything there is to know abt household laundry & can fold fitted sheets. perfectly <3
todd finds laundry very calming and satisfying. nice to turn his brain off and just focus on folding & hanging his clothes nicely :,)
jeff always said “thanks little man” when todd ‘delivered’ clean clothes to him. todd misses that. a lot. so does jeff.
wardrobe comprised of almost exclusively jeff’s hand-me-downs (they are a little big on him)
is a GOD when it comes to getting stains out. not even spilled ink can withstand his technique
hangs his pants with a crease, doesn’t fold em. ALWAYS checks the pockets before washing
enjoys the trips to the laundromat more than he lets on. helps him feel less homesick
pairs & rolls his socks, organizes them by color in his drawer
always checks garment tags for proper care instructions. hates having to pay for drycleaning
meeks:
neil taught him & pitts the art of laundry
measures out the detergent with the utmost precision. refuses to use bleach
does not separate darks from lights from whites (“after you’ve washed them a few times the colors shouldn’t bleed or transfer! i refuse to do multiple loads!”)
does pitts’ laundry for him helps pitts with his laundry
always brings extra change for the jukebox <3
keeps forgetting he has pens in his shirt pockets and they explode in the wash. ink ends up all over his clothes more than a few times. (todd comes to the rescue in these situations)
not fantastic at folding but better than some
washes everything on ‘cold’ (“it conserves energy & water”), dries everything on ‘low’ (meeks is terrified of starting a dryer fire)
helps the older women in the laundromat a lot. they always compliment him and try to set him up with their daughters, nieces, granddaughters, etc. (“such a nice boy!”)
pitts:
forgets to check the pockets of his clothes before loading them in the washing machine
washes everything on ‘hot’ (“it sanitizes the fabrics!”), dries everything on ‘high’ (then wonders why his pants keep getting shorter)
doesn’t fold his clean clothes, just puts em in a basket. refuses to pair his socks
is asked to help fold sheets, comforters, quilts, etc. by the older ladies in the laundromat all the time bc he is so TALL! pitts is always happy to assist <3
endlessly appreciative whenever meeks does laundry for him
made the mistake of putting a brand new pair of red socks in with the whites the first time he washed his clothes by himself. his undershirts, underwear, socks, & rowing sweater all came out bright pink, like marilyn monroe’s satin dress in ‘gentlemen prefer blondes’. charlie never let him hear the end of it.
cameron:
gets up early every morning to press his shirts & crease his pants with his personal clothes iron
uses sock garters to keep his nylon stretch socks up. sometimes forgets to unclip them & they go through the wash lol
for the longest time he was using shirt hangers for pants and pant hangers for shirts. charlie pointed it out. they argued about it for 20+ minutes (“how would you know? you don’t even do your own laundry!” “big deal! anyone can tell the difference! haven’t you ever picked up dry cleaning?!” “sure i have, but who pays attention to the hangers?!” “i want a divorce, richard”)
bleaches his whites to keep em ✨pristine✨
sometimes overfills the dryer. forgets to clean out the lint trap. gets his quarters stuck in the machines. a lot.
pretreats all stains. scrubs them out with his designated laundry toothbrush and powder soap (this is the most time-consuming part of cam’s laundering process). he’ll ask todd for advice if a stain is particular stubborn
pairs & folds his socks in half like a heathen
his mother hand-sews labels with his full name on em into every single article of clothing he owns. he refuses to be made fun of for this
knox:
no idea how to do laundry. absolutely no clue. like charlie, he buys new clothes whenever he runs out of clean ones
always forgets to cut the sale tags off and remove the big paper collar stays n shirt pins from his new clothes n dress shirts. neil helps.
knox overstreet alone keeps the town dry cleaners in business with the two-dozen cashmere cardigans he drops off each month
“i have nothing to wear!” “knoxious i swear to god if you say that one more time i am going to slap you into next week”
tagged along to help the poets with their laundry once. started a dryer fire. twice.
his dad bought him his first ever pair of blue jeans, the exact same as those worn by james dean in ‘rebel without a cause’ (“don’t tell your mother”). knoxious refuses to wash them, he’s convinced they’ll get ruined. knox & charlie start to call them his ‘james jeans’
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readbookywooks · 8 years
Text
'How about “zsff”?' said Twoflower. 'Don't be silly,' said Rincewind. 'With snow runes the —' Bethan elbowed him in the stomach and pointed. The brown shape in the air was now a brilliant red. The book trembled in her hands. Rincewind grabbed her around the waist, snatched Twoflower by the collar, and jumped backwards. Bethan lost her grip on the Octavo, which tumbled towards the floor. And didn't reach it. The air around the Octavo glowed. It rose slowly, flapping its pages like wings. Then there was a plangent, sweet twanging noise and it seemed to explode in a complicated silent flower of light which rushed outwards, faded, and was gone. But something was happening much further up in the sky . . . Down in the geological depths of Great A'Tuin's huge brain new thoughts surged along neural pathways the size of arterial roads. It was impossible for a sky turtle to change its expression, but in some indefinable way its scaly, meteor-pocked face looked quite expectant. It was staring fixedly at the eight spheres endlessly orbiting around the star, on the very beaches of space. The spheres were cracking. Huge segments of rock broke away and began the long spiral down to the star. The sky filled with glittering shards. From the wreakage of one hollow shell a very small sky turtle paddled its way into the red light. It was barely bigger than an asteroid, its shell still shiny with molten yolk. There were four small world-elephant calves on there, too. And on their backs was a discworld, tiny as yet, covered in smoke and volcanoes. Great A'Tuin waited until all eight baby turtles had freed themselves from their shells and were treading space and looking bewildered. Then, carefully, so as not to dislodge anything, the old turtle turned and with considerable relief set out on the long swim to the blessedly cool, bottomless depths of space. The young turtles followed, orbiting their parent. Twoflower stared raptly at the display overhead. He probably had the best view of anyone on the Disc. Then a terrible thought occurred to him. 'Where's the picture box?' he asked urgently. 'What?' said Rincewind, eyes fixed on the sky. 'The picture box,' said Twoflower. 'I must get a picture of this!' 'Can't you just remember it?' said Bethan, not looking at him. 'I might forget.' 'I won't ever forget,' she said. 'It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.' 'Much better than pigeons and billiard balls,' agreed Cohen. 'I'll give you that, Rincewind. How's it done?' 'I dunno,' said Rincewind. 'The star's getting smaller,' said Bethan. Rincewind was vaguely aware of Twoflower's voice arguing with the demon who lived in the box and painted the pictures. It was quite a technical argument, about field depths and whether or not the demon still had enough red paint. It should be pointed out that currently Great A'Tuin was very pleased and contented, and feelings like that in a brain the size of several large cities are bound to radiate out. In fact most people on the Disc were currently in a state of mind normally achievable only by a lifetime of dedicated meditation or about thirty seconds of illegal herbage. That's old Twoflower, Rincewind thought. It's not that he doesn't appreciate beauty, he just appreciates it in his own way. I mean, if a poet sees a daffodil he stares at it and writes a long poem about it, but Twoflower wanders off to find a book on botany. And treads on it. It's right what Cohen said. He just looks at things, but nothing he looks at is ever the same again. Including me, I suspect. The Disc's own sun rose. The star was already dwindling, and it wasn't quite so much competition. Good reliable Disc light poured across the enraptured landscape, like a sea of gold. Or, as the more reliable observers generally held, like golden syrup. That is a nice dramatic ending, but life doesn't work like that and there were other things that had to happen. There was the Octavo, for example. As the sunlight hit it the book snapped shut and started to fall back to the tower. And many of the observers realised that dropping towards them was the single most magical thing on the Discworld. The feeling of bliss and brotherhood evaporated along with the morning dew. Rincewind and Twoflower were elbowed aside as the crowd surged forward, struggling and trying to climb up one another, hands outstretched. The Octavo dropped into the centre of the shouting mass. There was a snap. A decisive snap, the sort of snap made by a lid that doesn't intend to be opening in a hurry. Rincewind peered between someone's legs at Twoflower. 'Do you know what I think's going to happen?' he said, grinning. 'What?' 'I think that when you open the Luggage there's just going to be your laundry in there, that's what I think.' 'Oh dear.' 'I think the Octavo knows how to look after itself. Best place for it, really.' 'I suppose so. You know, sometimes I get the feeling that the Luggage knows exactly what it's doing.' 'I know what you mean.' They crawled to the edge of the milling crowd, stood up, dusted themselves off and headed for the steps. No-one paid them any attention. 'What are they doing now?' said Twoflower, trying to see over the heads of the throng. 'It looks as though they're trying to lever it open,' said Rincewind. There was a snap and a scream. 'I think the Luggage rather enjoys the attention,' said Twoflower, as they began their cautious descent. 'Yes, it probably does it good to get out and meet people,' said Rincewind, 'and now I think it'd do me good to go and order a couple of drinks.' 'Good idea,' said Twoflower. 'I'll have a couple of drinks too.' It was nearly noon when Twoflower awoke. He couldn't remember why he was in a hayloft, or why he was wearing someone else's coat, but he did wake up with one idea right in the forefront of his mind. He decided it was vitally important to tell Rincewind about it. He fell out of the hay and landed on the Luggage. 'Oh, you're here, are you?' he said. 'I hope you're ashamed of yourself.' The Luggage looked bewildered. 'Anyway, I want to comb my hair. Open up,' said Twoflower. The Luggage obligingly flipped its lid. Twoflower rooted around among the bags and boxes inside until he found a comb and mirror and repaired some of the damage of the night. Then he looked hard at the Luggage. 'I suppose you wouldn't like to tell me what you've done with the Octavo?' The Luggage's expression could only be described as wooden. 'All right. Come on, then.' Twoflower stepped out into the sunlight, which was slightly too bright for his current tastes, and wandered aimlessly along the street. Everything seemed fresh and new, even the smells, but there didn't seem to be many people up yet. It had been a long night. He found Rincewind at the foot of the Tower of Art, upervising a team of workmen who had rigged up a gantry of sorts on the roof and were lowering the stone wizards to the ground. He seemed to be assisted by a monkey, but Twoflower was in no mood to be surprised at anything. 'Will they be able to be turned back?' he said. Rincewind looked around. 'What? Oh, it's you. No, probably not. I'm afraid they dropped poor old Wert, anyway. Five hundred feet onto cobbles.' 'Will you be able to do anything about that?' 'Make a nice rockery.' Rincewind turned and waved at the workmen. 'You're very cheerful,' said Twoflower, a shade reproachfully. 'Didn't you go to bed?' 'Funny thing, I couldn't sleep,' said Rincewind. 'I came out for a breath of fresh air, and no-one seemed to have any idea what to do, so I just sort of got people together,' he indicated the librarian, who tried to hold his hand, 'and started organising things. Nice day, isn't it? Air like wine.' 'Rincewind, I've decided that —' 'You know, I think I might re-enroll,' said Rincewind cheerfully. 'I think I could really make a go of things this time. I can really see myself getting to grips with magic and graduating really well. They do say if it's summa cum laude, then the living is easy – .' 'Good, because —' There's plenty of room at the top, too, now all the big boys will be doing doorstop duty, and —' 'I'm going home.' '— a sharp lad with a bit of experience of the world could – what?' 'Oook?' 'I said I'm going home,' repeated Twoflower, making polite little attempts to shake off the librarian, who was trying to pick lice off him. 'What home?' said Rincewind, astonished. 'Home home. My home. Where I live,' Twoflower explained sheepishly. 'Back across the sea. You know. Where I came from. Will you please stop doing that?' 'Oh.' 'Oook?' There was a pause. Then Twoflower said, 'You see, last night it occurred to me, I thought, well, the thing is, all this travelling and seeing things is fine but there's also a lot of fun to be had from having been. You know, sticking all your pictures in a book and remembering things.' 'There is?' 'Oook?' 'Oh, yes. The important thing about having lots of things to remember is that you've got to go somewhere afterwards where you can remember them, you see? You've got to stop. You haven't really been anywhere until you've got back home. I think that's what I mean.' Rincewind ran the sentence across his mind again. It didn't seem any better second time around. 'Oh,' he said again. Well, good. If that's the way you look at it. When are you going, then?' 'Today, I think. There's bound to be a ship going part of the way.' 'I expect so,' said Rincewind awkwardly. He looked at his feet. He looked at the sky. He cleared his throat. 'We've been through some times together, eh?' said Twoflower, nudging him in the ribs. 'Yeah,' said Rincewind, contorting his face into something like a grin. 'You're not upset, are you?' 'Who, me?' said Rincewind. 'Gosh, no. Hundred and one things to do.' That's all right, then. Listen, let's go and have breakfast and then we can go down to the docks.' Rincewind nodded dismally, turned to his assistant, and took a banana out of his pocket. 'You've got the hang of it now, you take over,' he muttered. 'Oook.' In fact there wasn't any ship going anywhere near the Agatean Empire, but that was an academic point because Twoflower simply counted gold pieces into the hand of the first captain with a halfway clean ship until the man suddenly saw the merits of changing his plans. Rincewind waited on the quayside until Twoflower had finished paying the man about forty times more than his ship was worth. 'That's settled, then,' said Twoflower. 'He'll drop me at the Brown Islands and I can easily get a ship from there.' 'Great,' said Rincewind. Twoflower looked thoughtful for a moment. Then he opened the Luggage and pulled out a bag of gold. 'Have you seen Cohen and Bethan?' he said. 'I think they went off to get married,' said Rincewind. 'I heard Bethan say it was now or never.' 'Well, when you see them give them this,' said Twoflower, handing him the bag. 'I know it's expensive, setting up home for the first time.' Twoflower had never fully understood the gulf in the exchange rate. The bag could quite easily set Cohen up with a small kingdom. 'I'll hand it over first chance I get,' he said, and to his own surprise realised that he meant it. 'Good. I've thought about something to give you, too.' 'Oh, there's no —' Twoflower rummaged in the Luggage and produced a large sack. He began to fill it with clothes and money and the picture box until finally the Luggage was completely empty. The last thing he put in was his souvenir musical cigarette box with the shell-encrusted lid, carefully wrapped in soft paper.
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