#it’s unusual for me to be starting the calendar leaving so much space for unknowns

[remnantspod]

I've been really enjoying remnants; especially the part where I completely ignore the TWFW warning and listen to new episodes first thing Monday to start my week off with a bang; but I have been wondering what is the planned run length of the show?/ planned season lengths?

Oh noooo. Weeping at work hours.

Season One will be thirty episodes in total, with the finale expected to be released on 24th February 2025, unless something happens where I have to adjust my schedule (as a one-man production things can go sideways if I’m sicker than i expect to be, for example).

There will be a Season Two, but I don’t know when, or how long it will be. I am at this time 90% sure the story ends there, but not 100% yet. It’s likely S2 will be 30 episodes like S1, but there are other factors which might influence that, and I’ve yet to get into the nitty gritty of planning it. There are some big question marks in my schedule for 2025 which I won’t have answers for until March at the earliest.

Hope that answers your question!

[gold3nberry]

Growing Together

An unexpected guest arrives in Skyhold, reawakening memories, awakening insecurities, and making quite a turmoil in the Inquisitor’s life.

PART I/ II (Part II here)

Cullen Rutherford X Demetra Trevelyan Nsfwish

“This is ridiculous.” Demetra murmured, rubbing her tired face and looking at two very specific people in the courtyard. Luckily alone on the ramparts, the Inquisitor bit her lip, the taste of her lipstick spreading in her mouth. One of the two people she was observing tossed her head back, laughing, her hand gracefully leaning against the man’s arm. Demetra wasn’t sure she liked seeing the two of them so close. Not that she was jealous. Not at all. Why should she? Cullen was just talking to their new guest in Skyhold. Just talking. A friendly, nice chat in a very open space, under the eyes of other people. It wasn’t as if they were hidden in some alcove, she reasoned, looking at them from the ramparts. The silvery laugh of the woman echoed in all the courtyard again, reaching the Inquisitor herself. And hitting her like a punch in her guts, destroying all her well crafted thoughts.

Elan Surana.

One of the few mages escaped from the massacre of Kinloch, saved by the Hero of Ferelden and her companions. Demetra knew about her, of course, even before she appeared in Skyhold. One night, chatting while waiting for the sleep to come, Cullen had confessed her about his youthful and impossible infatuation for the mage who was his charge. It hadn’t been a problem, for Demetra. She knew he had a past, and she surely wasn’t going to be jealous of something happened when she wasn’t in his life. She had reassured him with kisses and tender words, happy that their relationship was being built honestly and openly. Beside, past couldn’t hurt her.

This until the past appeared in Skyhold, a tall, lithe, elegant figure, long ebony hair and an incredible pair of green eyes. Her bronze skin was perfect, her mouth bent in a playful smirk. Half of the men of Skyhold were at her feet well before she entered in the fortress. Even the always stoic ser Barris had thrown a look or two at their new guest, and not only because of the stave on her back. But what had made Demetra’s heart clench in her chest, it had been Cullen’s face. She hadn’t seen that expression on his face before. He was stunned, incredulous. He walked slowly towards the mage, as if he wasn’t sure of what he was seeing. “Elan?” “Sir Cullen.” she beamed “I hoped the voices about you were right and you were the same sir Cullen I knew, once. I’m happy I finally found you.”. They stared at each other for long moments. And then Cullen grabbed her hand, shaking it enthusiastically, laughing, questioning, welcoming her as he never did with any other guest before. And lately in the Inquisitor’s quarters, after a dinner where of course the mage had been the guest of honor sat near the Inquisitor herself, Cullen had continued to talk about Elan. Demetra had been filled with details about Elan’s ability to throw spells, her clever, sharp mind, her amazing sense of humor, a certain youthful disdain for rules. Demetra smiled and nodded always at the right time, but something inside her was twisting. And it wasn’t a pleasant sensation. It had been the day after, however, that she understood plently, after waking up as usual just to find herself unusually alone in the big bed. Usually Cullen woke her up before leaving, joking that he couldn’t allow anyone else to be put in such a great danger. Not that morning. The morning, the Inquisitor found Cullen in his office, Elan comfortably seated on the verge of the desk, and they were vividly speaking about something, when Demetra arrived. She had barely controlled her impulse to take her usual spot on Cullen’s desk back in a very unpolite way. She was jealous, she had finally admitted at least with herself. No, she thought returning in the present, she wasn’t. That would be a terrible lack of trust in Cullen. And she trusted Cullen. She did. Truly. She bit again her lip, as another giggle from her Commander and Elan Surana reached her.

The wind that day was colder than usual, and Demetra shivered, holding close the edges of her velvet cloak. Forcing herself to walk away – she couldn’t deny her duties any longer – the Inquisitor went through her day. But everything resulted difficult, to the point where even Josephine, always at her side, seemed exausted. Merchants in the Southern Approach required more soldiers to escort them, the scholars who were studying the elven artifacts asked for more informations, Templars required directions now that the Skyhold’s tower was the new Mages’ house. The pile of letter and reports didn’t diminish despite Demetra and Josephine’s hard work. Every minute a new messanger seemed to arrive with a scroll or a “urgent message”. Demetra clenched her teeth, writing the umpteenth answer to a noble who wanted her to marry a son, a cousin, a brother. She didn’t have time for those silly ideas, especially because more or less half of Thedas knew about her relationship with the Commander. But at least part of the nobles didn’t seem to consider it more than a dalliance. The thought offended her, making difficult to be polite in her letters. With a vaguely annoyed sighed, Josephine marked something on a little calendar “We have to delay your journey in the Emerald Graves, Your Worship. You don’t have a single day free before three weeks.” “I’m sure Fairbanks will be fine even without me babysitting his people.” Demetra replied tiredly, before huffing, realizing that the ink in her inkpot was finished. Again. The Ambassador wrote furiously a note on the calendar for her assistant, and the sound of their feathers on the paper was the only one in the room for a long time. Until Demetra lifted abruptly her head, hearing a loud, pleased roar from the courtyard.

Josephine’s frown deepened “What’s going on there? I hope Sera and Bull are not having one of their races again! We just rebuilt the fence!” Another exulting explosion of voices and Demetra couldn’t restrain a little smile “Shall we have a look?” “I… yes, I’d like so. I think nobody is going to scold us if we take a little break, Your Worship.” Josephine smiled despite herself, clearly restraining barely her impulse to stretch. “I can’t imagine someone brave enough to scold at you, Josephine.”. They shared a giggle, finally leaving the room, their steps light and quick.

Demetra’s smile faded a little, when they arrived at the top of the courtyard’s stairs. Elan Surana was standing proudly in the training ring, a crowd of Skyhold people all around her, cheering and shouting. She had discarded her Mage robes, and she was wearing a simple pair of leather breeches and a short top, which exposed her toned abdomen. Demetra crossed her arms, refusing to feel uncomfortable, sensing the abundance of flesh on her belly, and focusing instead on the match. As a warrior, the Inquisitor was curious to see an unknown fighter at work. Wielding gracefully her stave, Surana was sparring against one of the soldiers. She wasn’t using her magic, but she was nevertheless very fast, elegant and accurate. Her lithe body twirled and turned, confusing with its quick jumps the bigger, and slower, opponent. Her movements were calculated to not waste an inch of energy in useless tricks. She didn’t need magic to be a valid opponent, Demetra nodded to herself. Standing at her moves, Surana knew how to take advantage of a stave using that as an effective weapon. The Inquisitor wasn’t surprised at all when the elven woman knocked down the soldier, standing victorious, the sharp end of her stave pointed against the man’s throat. “I yield!” the man shouted, but he didn’t seem terribly disappointed. “Well done, Carson. And very well done, mistress Surana.” Cullen smirked, clapping. Elan bowed graciously, laughing “You’re training these men well, Commander Cullen. For a split second, I thought I was going to lose.” “Just for a split second?” Carson groaned, making them all laugh. “Mistress Surana is becoming quite familiar with Skyhold’s people.” Josephine commented gently, clearly enjoying the fresh breeze. Demetra nodded, not knowing exactly what to say. But she didn’t have to, since Cullen spotted them on the staircase and waved at them. The Inquisitor waved back, happy that he was moving where she and Josephine were standing. The Ambassador gave her a sly look “I think I’ll have some tea, before we start to work again, my lady. I’d invite you to join me, and you too, Commander” she added, when Cullen arrived “but I think you tw have important matters to… discuss.” “I’d like a cup of tea.” a voice intervened. Surana, sweat and radiant, grinned at the Ambassador “It has been a long time since I could drink something different from rivers’ water!” “It’d be an honour, Mistress Surana!” the Ambassador clapped her hands happily “And I have some special sweets from my Country that I’m sure you’ll love!”

“Wonderful!” Surana replied “I have never enough of sweets!” “You tell me!” Cullen smirked back “Did you know, Inquisitor, that once I found someone, who was supposed to be in the library practicing, in the kitchen, stealing pastries?” “And did you know, Your Worship,” Elan laughed “that the thief and her Templar shared that delicious booty?”. Demetra smiled politely, telling herself she wasn’t bother by that “her Templar”, and Elan continued “Gosh, looking back at how much I ate I really risked to become the fattest Mage in the history of Mages! If that was happened, I should have run away to hide in a cavern!” Demetra forced herself to not stiffen or let her smile fall. And then Surana gestured at the Inquisitor herself “Sadly, I’m not like you, my lady. Your curves are beautiful and add charm on you.”. Demetra’s smile was so forced she felt her lips trembling for the effort. Luckily, Josephine was impatient to have her well deserved tea, and she dragged her guest away. Cullen chuckled “It’s good that Elan is always so honest. Even if her tongue put her in troubles more than once.” “I wonder why.” She hoped her voice was less stern than she heard it, but judging by Cullen’s face she wasn’t sure. He came a bit closer “She’s right, you know? Your curves are absolutly ravishing.” Cullen pressed her against his body, kissing her temple “You are absolutly ravishing. Did I tell you that, today?” She smiled, kissing his cheek. It was intended to be just a playful kiss, but he turned his head suddenly, capturing her mouth with his. It wasn’t a long kiss, since both of them knew there were always prying eyes around them, but he whispered wickedly “Would you like, my beautiful Inquisitor, accompaning me to inspect the new lockets in the prisons?”. The pressure of his hand on her generous hip, his leg almost between hers, told her exactly what type of inspections he had in mind. She knew her eyes were darkening quickly “I don’t have a lot of time, actually, Commander.” “Then you shouldn’t looking at me in that way.” he growled, his lips near her ear. She shivered, her skin already flushed and sensitive. She’d be embarassed he could turn her in a puddle of lust just using that low voice of his, if she wasn’t enjoying that so much. “Maybe a quick inspection…” she rectified, leaning against him, knowing he adored feeling her in that intimate way. He made a noise, something she couldn’t describe precisely, but that made her feel beautiful and desired. Cullen took her against the wall of the hallway which led to the cells, after locking the door. She muffled her gasps and moans against his neck, as he plunged into her again, and again, panting and grunting satisfied. They fell together in the bliss, her legs wrapped around his hips, his mouth on her neck, trembling and kissing wildly to muffle their moans. When she returned to her desk, Josephine was so corteous to not mention the bruise on her neck.

She didn’t know what had awoken her, until she heard a well known gasp for air. Turning, she found Cullen sat on the verge of his side of the bed, panting harhsly, his skin covered in cold sweat. “Would you like a cup of water?” she asked quietly, not wanting to startle him more. His eyes were wide with pain and terror, and he blinked twice before nodding. He drank slowly, careful to not spill the water since his hands were trembling hard. Sat next to him, the pitched at her feet, Demetra wanted nothing more than caressing his back and pushing back from his forehead the wild curls. But she knew he needed to be okay with that. Experience had taught her to always ask first, when those episodes happened. Touching him wasn’t always the right thing to do, despite her feelings about leaving him alone. It wasn’t about her, after all. So she sat next to him, not too close, her posture forcibly relaxed, waiting patiently while the moon walked in the dark sky outside the window. “I… I had a nightmare.” If the room hadn’t been quiet, she would have missed his words. He shook his head, pressing his forehead on his clenched fists “Maker, I saw… again… I was in Kinloch again.”. He looked at her, eyes reddened “I saw those… things killing my friends and the mages, I saw… you were there and I couldn’t save you.” “Oh, Cullen.” she murmured, hating herself for not having found something better to say. His teeth were so gritted she feared he was going to break them. Another silence. It was always hard making him talk, after a nightmare or a lyrium withdrawal. The room was a bit too chill for her taste, and she shivered slightly. He noticed and smiled bitterly “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to wake you. Go to sleep, Demetra, I’ll have a walk to calm down.” he murmured, standing slowly. “Oh, I’ll come with you!” she decided, trying to not appear too worried. He smiled faintly, a gesture which didn’t reach his eyes “No, it’s okay. I just need…” to be alone for a bit, she completed silently “to walk for a while. I’ll return soon, I promise.”. She waited for a long time, under the blanket, looking at the first rays of sun shyly coloring the sky, the other side of her bed still empty and cold. Before she finally gave up, letting her eyes close, she sent a prayer to the Maker, stretching her arm on Cullen’s side.

“And, as in fact the two of us predicted, the inscriptions we found in that cavern in the Dales weren’t Tevene, but ancient elven.” Dorian beamed, rubbing his chin, as he did always when he found something interesting “That means that we should suggest to the Keeper… you could at least pretend to listen!” he snapped, putting down his notes. Demetra lifted her eyes from the volume in front of her “I’m listening. And I’m researching the words we weren’t able to translate…” “Oh, please.” Dorian huffed, crossing his legs “You didn’t move your eyes from that page since I started to read.”. Demetra blushed, guilty “I’m sorry, Dorian.” “It doesn’t matter.” he grumbled, clearly thinking the opposite. The Inquisitor knew he was at least a bit annoyed, since nobody took books and studies as serious as Dorian did. She tried again “Dorian, I’m really sorry. You’re right, I should have paid more attention. My apologies.”. He sighed “Fine, I suppose also the mighty Inquisitor has the right to be inattentive, from time to time.”. She stretched, suffucating a yawn. It had been three nights since Cullen had that nightmare. And he didn’t seem to sleep well. She wasn’t more worried than usual about that. After those episodes, for a couple of days he always had troubles to go in bed and take at least a nap. What made her frown this time was that he didn’t stay even in the bedroom. Neither his or hers. He just sat up, murmured an apologise and walked away. When she woke up in the morning he was always there, a sheepish half smile on his lips, and a tray with their breakfast nearby. “You are a bit pale, you know?” Dorian patted at her arm “Should we tell your Commander that you need to sleep more?”

“Dorian!” she gasped, embarassed. He shrugged, not an inch of regret “I’m just worried for my little cousin!” “You just want to gossip!” she retorted “Should we return to our studies?” “Oy, finally! There you are!” They turned, as Sera entered in the library marching loudly and eating an apple even louder “Yo, did you find that formula, Quizzie?” the young elf munched, spitting pieces of fruit everywhere, not caring to keep her voice low. Dorian promptly took away the precious volume, preventing a two centuries old book from being covered in chomped food. The Inquisitor greeted Sera, gesturing at her new blouse “That color suits you, Sera.” “Yeah, I thought the same when that lady showed it to her friends.”. Demetra and Dorian exchanged a worried look, before the woman managed to ask “Which lady?” Sera grunted, shifting on her feet “Lady Vanluck…?” “You mean, lady Van Brulck? Lady Amelia Van Brulck of Cumberland?” “Think so. Ey, don’t look at me like that! She forced Bonnie to search for this blouse forever, and when finally it arrived she refused to pay the entire price, boasting around with her friends that Bonnie should have being honored to sell her something!” “So, you stole it?” Dorian prompted, holding back a laughter. “Yeah, and I gave it back to Bonnie, but she told me to keep it, so I did.” Luckily the lady had left Skyhold that morning, Demetra reasoned with a quiet sigh, and with a bit of luck she wouldn’t suspect of the Inquisition stealing her clothes. The Inquisitor really didn’t need more troubles. Sera scratched her head “Aren’t you going to gimme a lecture?” Demetra shrugged “With a bit of luck that noblewoman won’t realize there is a missed piece in her wardrobe until she arrives at home. And, honestly, I’m too sleepy to be truly bothered.” “Oh? Oh, so you two have fought! You and Cully Wully!” the elf made clear “Why? Is it for the desk prank?” Demetra looked at her, surprised “No, we didn’t fight. Why do you think this?” “Well, I saw him walking on the ramparts in these last nights. I thought…” “Hold on!” Dorian intervened “Our Commander was walking alone? And you let me thought he kept you awake for other, good, naughty reasons!”

“Well, he wasn’t alone!” Sera rectified, before freezing. Demetra was truly surprised “What do you mean he wasn’t alone ? Was sir Barris with him?”. That would be strange. Cullen lived those moments as a weakness he was barely willing to share with her. The elven girl seemed seriously tempted to just make a quick run far away from the library “Uh, I… look, I’m not even sure he was always with her, ‘k? I just saw them one time or two!” “Her?” Demetra inquired, trying not to sound too worried. And praying the Maker she misheard. “Look, don’t put me in this shitty couple lovey-dovey thing, okay?” Sera tensed, leaning against the wooden rotunda’s parapet “I thought he told you…” “Sera, please. Who was with Cullen?” “Fine.” she grumbled “That new elven mage, his old friend. Surana, right?” “Ah.” it was the only word Demetra could manage to say, keeping her face neutral. She felt Dorian’s glare on her, but she forced a smile “Well, they are, in fact, a sort of old friends. It’s okay, you two don’t make that faces!” “Uh, okay. If you say you’re okay with this, I suppose I’m too.” Sera absently tipped her lips “Do you wanna I spy them, just to make sure the lady keeps her hands in her pockets?”. Demetra reassured her friend once again she was perfectly fine with the situation, but she was seriously tempted to accept the offer. Why didn’t Cullen tell her about this? With the excuse to search for the formula she had promised Sera to find – something which could make her bee bombs more impressive – the woman marched away. Her eyes were glued on the volumes accurately put on the shelves, but her mind was racing in quite a different direction. She wasn’t an expert about relationships, but she honestly thought that walking under the moonlight with an old crush was something you should discuss with your partner. Right? She closed her eyes, pressing the her forehead against the ebony shelf, the smell of books, wood and dust familiar in a way that helped her to calm down a little. She needed to talk to Cullen. And being honest with him about the entire Elan Surana situation. It wasn’t right for both of them lying about her being perfectly fine.

But… what if he was going to be insulted by her lack of trust? Or… if he confirmed that something was changed between them? No, she clamped her lips, that couldn’t be possible. They loved each other. He told her, holding her in his arms. Cullen would never hurt her. Yes, but he’d had feeling for Surana too, in the past. The thought made her frozen. And now she was there, both of them free from the chains of their roles as Mage and Templar. Plus, she was beautiful, confident, clever. She probably wouldn’t never ask someone about chastity vows, or stuttered speaking about feelings. A bunch of crows entering from the roof startled her, as the few people in the library muttered about the noisy birds. Not too loud, of course, since it was known the Spymaster loved them and nobody in Skyhold was eager to challenge her. Looking up where the crows were lazily choosing a spot where landing, Demetra knew there was a person who could probably help her. Discreetly. Very discreetly.

“Is there anything I can do for you, Inquisitor?” Leliana lifted her head from a scroll, gesturing her to take a seat. Demetra was already regretting to be there, and not because the Spymaster was always a bit intimidating. No, Demetra was feeling a fool, because she was acting as one. Using her title to investigate about someone. Someone who hadn’t done anything wrong. Demetra knew she shouldn’t have been there. Even if technically she wasn’t doing anything wrong, she knew it wasn’t right either.  If Cullen would ever know this… A moment of silence fell between the the Inquisitor and her Spymaster. “I was thinking about our new guest.” Demetra started, trying her best to appear calm, ignoring the little voice in her head which was shouting her that that was a bad call. “Ah, yes of course. Mistress Surana.” Leliana nodded. The Inquisitor lifted her chin up a bit, inhaling deeply “I know Cullen knew her when she was in Kinloch, but none of us knows what she did after. Well,” she rectified “none of us except you, I’m sure.” Leliana smiled gracefully, but her voice was serious “Did she say anything that worried you, if I may ask?” Demetra hoped her blush wasn’t so obviOus. Maker, she was doing this so clumsily. The last thing she needed was having Leliana’s men spying the new guest. “No.” the Inquisitor replied, playing with the embroided hem of her sleeve “But I’d like to know who is leaving under my roof.” “A reasonable thought, my lady. My agents have already collected some informations,a s we normally do for every new guest. If you wish to read them, I have everything here.”. Leliana opened with a little key a drawer in her desk, handing out an folder thickly written. Demetra didn’t want to take it, actually. But her hand moved before her consicence could intervene and put an end to her ridiculous behavor. The Inquisitor read silently, words jumping out here and there. One of the youngest pupils of the First Enchanter in Kinloch. Very talented. Selected to be trained as a Knight – Enchanter, thanks the Knight- Commander Greagoir’s raccomandation. One of the twenty mages survived in the Circle during Uldred’s rebellion. Charge of Commander Cullen when he was… Demetra closed abruptly the document, trembling. Cullen’s words echoed in her mind, his desperation and horror still fresh in her memories, even after weeks. He had been there. And Surana too. None of them deserved their privacy violated in such a way. She had choosen the wrong way to soothe her fears. She should have simply told Cullen how she was feeling. She had to talk to him, not digging in his past like a thief. “My lady?” Demetra didn’t know she was pale, but she could feel her lips trembling. Not wishing to confess Leliana her true thoughts, the Inquisitor cleared her throat “I’m fine. I was just thinking. Cullen…he told me about the massacre in the Circle.”. Leliana nodded, slowly “It was a view I won’t ever forget.” “You where there together with the Hero of Ferelden and king Alistair, right?” “Yes,” the Spymaster sighed, her eyes wandering far away “me, Mel, Alistair and Morrigan arrived in Kinloch searching for help about a delicate matter, and what we found…” Leliana shook her head, fisting her hands “Ruin, death, abominations. Everything that could go wrong in a Circle was there, that day. Frankly, Inquisitor, I’d rather not talk about this.” “Of course. And I have to go, now.” “You can take that.” Leliana gestured “I have a copy and that was going to be sent to your archive anyway.” “So, I’m going to put it there.” Demetra nodded, referring to the little library under Skyhold she had claimed as her personal one. But first, she had to find Cullen and talk to him. It was a matter that couldn’t wait a minute longer.

Cullen would reassure her. They would have a frank chat and she would realize that her fears were fed just by her insecurity and nothing more. She loved him and he loved her, and nothing had changed in the last week. All her considerations crumbled at her feet when she opened the door in the Commander’s office. Surana and Cullen were speaking quietly, very close, her hand gently placed on his arm. Hearing the wooden opening, they turned in her direction. All in a sudden, Demetra felt to be the one who wasn’t meant to stay there. She had the horrible feeling to have interrupted… something. Surana took a step back, smiling uncertain “Forgive me, Your Worship, I suppose you need to speak to Commander Cullen. I didn’t want to monopolize him.” Demetra couldn’t formulate a proper sentence or even a short reply. She could only stare at the two of them, together near the window. The atmosphere was strange, and Demetra frowned. Cullen was too pale. And were those tears in the mage’s eyes? The elven woman excused herself and left quickly the office, closing gently the door behind her. Demetra stayed still and tense, looking at Cullen “What’s going on?” Cullen seemed to focus entirely on her just in that moment “What do you mean?” “Well,” Demetra started, fighting to keep her voice calm “it seems I arrived during an important speech of some sort.” “It wasn’t… I mean, it was important, but you didn’t… not exactly, at least.” “What were you two talking about?” The question slipped from her lips surprising more her than him. And when he didn’t answer, she repeated it, a bit louder “Cullen, what were you two talking about?”. He rubbed his neck, wetting his lips “I’m sorry, but this is a… private matter. Sort of.” “You don’t want to tell me?” she questioned, incredulous. Cullen frowned “Demetra, please. It’s…it’s not something I can just tell to everyone.” “I didn’t think I was an “everyone”.” was her quiet reply, flinching when the words stung in her skin. He blushed, rubbing his neck “Maker, I didn’t mean… of course you’re not…” “Cullen,”she tried to speak with a steady voice “Cullen, be sincere: are you falling in love with her again?”. There, her worst fear finally had a face. He flinched violently “Maker’s breath, Demetra! Have you lost your mind?!” “You didn’t answer.” she bit her lip, her hands shaking. He almost ran towards her “No, for the Maker’s sake, of course not! I love you!”. He was looking at her completely stunned, grabbing her arms firmly. The Inquisitor looked at him, still unsure  “Then, why are you so strange? Since when she arrived here…”. She left her sentence falling between them, the silence too big and too scary. “And you two have been seen walking together.” she added quietly. He sighed “I didn’t plan to meet her, if this is what you’re thinking. But it seems I’m not the only one to find difficult sleeping.” Demetra shifted on her feet “Well, I’d have liked accompaning you. You know that.” “I know.” his voice was softer “But I don’t want to put on your shoulders another burden. At least when you’re in Skyhold, you should have a bit of relax and happiness.” “You’re not a burden!” she bursted out, grabbing his hand with her free one “Don’t even think to be one for a moment! And I’m happy when I’m here. And I’m happier when you don’t cut me out! I don’t need to be protected, Cullen. Not from you.” “I’m sorry.” he repeated, reciprocating her grip “Sometimes it’s difficult … I’m just so used to be all by myself that is difficult accpeting that someone else - that you - is willing to be here for me.” “I am.” she confirmed “Truly and always.” “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Surana. I assure you nothing happened. We just talked.” “But you’re not going to tell me about what.” “I can’t.” he replied, serious “I don’t want to violate the privacy of someone else. I have to ask you to trust my word.” “I’m not comfortable we have secrets between us.”she murmured quietly “But I think I can trust you. If you say there’s nothing between the two of you, I believe you.” “Oh, love.” Cullen sighed, embracing her “I didn’t want to make you feel bad. Of course there’s nothing between me and Elan. I love you, you know that.” “Yes,” she replied “but you also confessed to have had feelings for her, in the past”. He went quiet for a little, caressing her red hair “Yes, I had feelings for her, but as you told, it happened a long time ago. And let me tell you a thing: it could never have worked between me and Elan. All what charmed me at the beginning, it would build a wall after a while. We were… we still are too different. Our choices, our views about the world. We weren’t meant to be together.” he chuckled, kissing her forehead “I can fit perfectly with only one person. I’m sorry, you’re stuck with me.” When he lifted gently her chin to kiss her, she hugged him, forgetting the papers in her hand. And they fell on the stone floor. She acted on instinct, interrupting their kiss to pick them up.  “Wait, let me help you!” he offered, kneeling on the floor. She panicked “No, Cullen, I don’t need….” He smiled at her “I just want to help you!”. She recognised the exact moment in which his eyes found something -Elan’s name, his name, a date - that revealed him what those papers were. “Demetra.” he standed up slowly, a bunch of pages in his hands “This is a report about Elan. Did you investigate… about us?” “No!” she replied quickly, not liking at all that “us” “I just wanted more informations about her. You always sayI have to be more careful with my allies!” “And you decided to take my advice right now?” he snarled, crossing his arms. Demetra felt a wave of rage crashing on her, not liking how he was speaking to her “Well, do you know what she did in all these years? Or where she spent this time?” “She’s our ally! I can’t believe that you…” “If only you would speak to me earlier, instead of letting me try to figure out the truth alone!” she attacked, the tension building in her stomach. “Don’t!” he thundered suddenly, making her jump “Don’t try to blame me when you are acting like a child!” “I don’t want to blame you, I just wanted you to speak to me!” she shouted. He went silent for a moment,  his face pale and his eyes darkened. She was breathing heavily, her hands grabbing the rest of the folder. Cullen’s shook his head “And you said you trusted me.”  “I do!” she replied “And I didn’t read more than one or two pages before stopping. I realized I was wrong and I just wanted to put that in the archive and never think about it again. For this reason I came here, for speaking to you!” “And were you going to tell me about this document?”. She hesitated. Honestly, she wasn’t sure about her answer. The way he looked at her made her heart clench painfully. Without another word, he put down the documents on his desk and left the office. “Cullen!” she called, but the only answer was a closed door.

Comments, reblogs, likes, tags, are truly treasured. I’m sorry this took so much time, and I still don’t like very much this first chapter, but I’m going to leave it here. And hoping you’ll like it!