#it’s so fucking stupid and lacking in media literacy so don’t even bother

[habken]

Hi there!

I have been rewatching MHA and came across many accounts that support bkdk. So i wanted to ask you the following:

Bakugo wanted to kill Izuku on their first day and during the bomb test. He tormented him for over 10 years, insulted him, bullied him, tortured him. Because he has "promise" Aizawa never called him out on his toxic behavior, but threatened Izuku with expulsion all the tims, labeling him as "problem child". All Might never did anything, even after Bakugo states, that he wanted to kill Izuku. Bakugo never faced a consequence for his oppressive behavior, he even bullied his so-called BakuSquad. (He got himself captured by the league and only denied their offer becUse they were "losers") Meanwhile, Izuku clearly shows signs of PTSD, wincing everytime when Bakugo was near him. Bakugo used so many explosions on him, he should be covered in scars. It's clear that he is Hori's favorite. The MHA fandom is pretty toxic, we all know this. Bakugo's "character evolution" didn't make him a better person. He never really changed or helped Izuku. When he "moved out of instinct" he did so because it's "instinct", because he trained so much. He didn't care that it was Izuku, he didn't think about it. After the second/ third season, the other characters just didn't care anymore about his behavior towars Izuku. Aoyama's parents wanted Aoyama to have a quirk to prevent him from being left out of society, so basically to protect him from people like Bakugo. He was the most privileged person (hit the genetic lottery, intelligent and rich parents). But still, MHA clearly shows that if you feel insecure you can bully and torture and there will be no consequences. I love Todoroki and Izuku much more, because they at least help and support each other. Shoto had a terrible childhood, but he never turned into an abuser. He never turned into his father. Bakugo's "excuse" towards Izuku was just laughable (makes the whole Sasuke/ Naruto episode after their big last fight look like true cinema). In the end, the fandom (and Hori) support an abuser/victim relationship.

Why do you support bkdk?

Their relationship gives people a false sense of what a victim of abuse should do. MHA never took Izuku's pain and past seriously. They portrayed Bakugo as "tsundere" instead of showing the real consequences of being the abuser for over a decade. Kirishima showed how to behave if you feel "unmanly" or "inadequate". Bakugo in the MHA world was a racist the minute he found out that Izuku didn't have a quirk. He victimized himself and tortured Izuku because he thinks that the world revolves around him. Shouta from "A silent voice" shows how to seek redemption and forgiveness. Bakugo just wanted to be Nr1 hero, but never a good one who saves people.

MHA clearly shows that you can bully someone, torture someone, torment someone- and you will never have to face consequences. A spit-out "sorry" after 10+ years of bullying and right after insulting someone's mental state is enough to be forgiven.

jesus christ lmao

See I could rebute your long ass essay and give my reasons for liking the ship, but you don’t actually care about what I have to say. I’m not going to spend my time defending myself to someone who’s arguing in bad faith. I spent years defending the ship, getting hate comments and death threats, and I’m not ever doing that shit again.

If you want to goad me into defending a dumb shonen ship, pay me $50. Until then, fuck off. Go find like-minded people under the “bakugou faces consequences” tag on ao3

[acompassionatemonster]

I seriously think I’m speaking to a three year old because there’s no way you can be older than a toddler with how stupid you are. If you are older, please consider going back to school because you’re not gonna get far in life with your lack of common sense and underdeveloped brain. There is no way you can call me illiterate when you literally started your reply with, ‘not you’re mad’ and ended with ‘stay one that Jujutsu Kaisen season two’. And in your first reply you did get your ‘your’ and ‘you’re’ mixed up - you used ‘your’ when it should’ve been ‘you’re so scared’. Now please tell me if that made any sense. Take your head out of your ass and admit how much of an imbecile you are.

Love don’t worry about if I have a job or not, I know I am and will be fine but it’s you that you should be worried about right now. I don’t think you can get a job with your stupidity and illiteracy - no wonder why you read manga, bro just follows the pictures and ignores all the actual writing. Please do yourself and everyone else a favour and log off of Tumblr and every other social and pick up an actual book.

Oh come on now, don’t be a coward and avoid my question. I’ll stop bothering you when you either answer what media you are planning to consume soon or admit that you putting a Gojo spoiler without any spoiler warning and under a Toji tag was idiotic and insensitive (even though you strongly disagree - I’m sorry I didn’t know we had a new Joker over here- not that you have the IQ to be able to pull that off). I’m sorry that I’m the only honest person in your life to say you are insensitive. I bet you don’t even know what that word means given that your literacy and comprehension skills are very limited. So I’ll help you out a bit (because I doubt you can even spell it) and give you a definition, ‘insensitive’ (an adjective) - showing or feeling no concern for other’s feelings. A synonym would be ‘inconsiderate’. You can’t prove me wrong that those words don’t describe you. It was a big spoiler and I know it because you were probably crying over it and in your post you literally say you’re not ‘reading jjk anymore idc’ - therefore, you had no right in spoiling it for others, get that into your thick head and small fish brain.

I’m sorry I didn’t know you were a sheep and posting spoilers without warnings because, ‘literally everyone on here isn’t’. Are you that daft? Just because everyone isn’t, doesn’t mean it’s not wrong. Bro are you saying that if the purge happened and everyone was out wreaking havoc, you’d do the same thing and still say it’s not wrong? Are you a child that doesn’t know right from wrong? Please for the love of God, for your own future and safety, go back to school.

TLDR: stfu and tell me your opinion when you have a present dad x and sorry if this was too much writing for your bozo self to process mwah.

I think I'm speaking to someone who dropped out of school, like literally dropped out of school in the 7th grade. Because if YOU'RE SO SCARED OF SPOILERS WHY ARE YOU ON TUMBLR?? LIKE I FUCKING SAID YOU PEOPLE HAVE SERIOUS ISSUES. IF YOU DONT READ THE NEW CHAPTERS THEN THATS, ON WHO??? ITS ON YOU. and why are you harassing me about my spelling?? Bitch it's fucking Tumblr, I'm not writing a thesis, a research paper or even a fucking essay. If I wanted to write a whole fucking article and then yes I would make sure that my spellings of both 'your' and 'you're were correct. However IM NOT. AND IDGAF. So why tf would I care if I spelt something wrong or mixed a few words up???. You bitches are talentless, jobless, bored and can't fucking read nor write and still live with YOURE parents in their BASEMENT. AND WANNA COME AFTER ME BECAUSE YOU GOT SPOILED. BITCH I DONT CARE IF YOU DIDNT READ THE CHAPTER AND FOUND OUT GOJO IS DEAD!!!!! BECAUSE SOCIAL MEDIA HAS SPOILERS E V E R Y W H E R E. DONT COME ONLINE AND YOU WONT GET SPOLUED THEN YOU FUCKING ASSHAT. YOUR mother must have dropped your special ass on the head as a baby, because why are you at YOUR grown ass age GOING ON DIFFERENT PROFILES TO HARASS ME ABOUT A FICTIONAL FUCKING CHARACTER. I just fucking know you don't take baths OR EVEN WASH THAT FUCKING FILTHY ASS OF YOURS. it's fucking disgusting that YOUR Neanderthal ass came on here to give me a hard time because you what??? Can't keep up with the chapters when it releases??? Not my problem fucktard. And I'll tag my fucking posts with whatever I want. And I did answer your question, I said and I quote I don't care sweetie. So why don't you go to sleep and roll over on that cockroach infested ass floor mattress you sleep on every night. Roll over and go get caught up to the new chapters. Imagine trying to harass someone because YOU live in a section 8 apartment, with 15 other family members, have roaches and rats crawling all over you while you sleep and mad at me. NOBODY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOU!!! I'm just sure YOURE a fucking foster child whose mother and father left your Crack baby ass in foster care. Because there's no way that someone who had a loving, family or SUPPORT SYSTEM IS THIS BOTHERED. AND IF YOU'RE SO FUCKING BRAVE WHY WERE YOU POSTING ANONYMOUSLY??? GET A LIFE YOU SMALL BRAINED, LONELY, PATHETIC, NEANDERTHAL ASS BITCH. I HOPE YOU TOSS AND TURN ON THAT FLOOR MATTRESS YOU SHARE WITH YOU 8 SIBLINGS EVERY NIGHT.

and stop coming on my page, mad ass., stupid ass, MONKEY ASS BITCH.

[evenspelledevan]

this overanalyzed rant is brought to you by my crazy freshman year of hs english teacher, who was a bitch and i hated her, but also taught me how not to be stupid and i will forever be grateful, even though now i’m an engineering major and will probably never have to close read again except by choice apparently.

shoving this under a readmore since other than @xandromedan, idk how many people actually care lmao, and this is a long fucking ride. it’s 3k words. enjoy?

my god, i cannot keep being silent at all the bullshit fugkinf takes i see about mr miguel spider-man 2099 o’hara. anyways there’s three main flavors of mischaracterizing him that i see: the horny flavor, the morally black/white flavor, and the what-the-fuck-fanon-taken-to-extremes-to-the-point-of-racism weirdness, or more simply the canon/fanon flavor. All of these are underscored by the fact that Miguel’s complete lore was not really introduced in the movie, meaning only people who really care would already know or bother to dig it up (i go into it in a fourth section, which is only really useful for people who don’t know it already). however, while i am upset at lower level mischaracterization (like claiming he’s a vampire), i only feel true rage towards people who claim to be theorycrafters or back up unreasonable claims with cherry-picked or just straight up bad evidence.

1. the horny flavor

firstly, hornyposting: i can cope with it, and i’d be a hypocrite not to, since i’m also rather horny for miguel. he’s objectively hot, and as occurs with any character that is sexually attractive, he will be misrepresented in the interest of people getting their rocks off. with miguel, this is sometimes compounded by some racism in the form of fetishizing hispanic or otherwise non-white men, but i don’t have the energy to get into that, and it’s not really horny mischaracterization that i’m upset about, since that variety is super common and happens to basically any visually appealing character (not that i enjoy it. i like my porn in character, thank you very much.).

this brings me to the second flavor:

2. morality

an inability to see fiction through a lense other than pure moral black/whiteness is usually supported by a lack of some combo of empathy and/or media literacy. miguel gets morally voided all the time and it drives me NUTS, so here’s a deep dive into spider morality:

in his first ever depiction, spider-man as a character was designed to NOT be a perfect, idealized hero figure. i heard this in an interview of some kind but don’t remember where, so instead i have some quotes from the wikipedia page for spider-man: “the flawed superhero with everyday problems”; “He's just a normal guy with girlfriend problems and money issues, so he's more relatable than playboy billionaire Iron Man”.

as such, spider-man and all later variants of him aren’t white knights. more specifically, as the superhero vigilante figure of is portrayed in the spider verse movies, spider-people are inherently morally grey due to their status as vigilantes, the damage and injuries/deaths caused by their actions (intentionally or not), and the inherent sacrifice required by their very existence (if miguel’s canon theory holds true). spider-people are upholders of justice that are defined and limited by their own experiences/mentalities- each one upholds what they personally believe to be justice, which is why you’ll have spiders who work with cops vs ones who oppose police (like spider-punk and to some extent, gwen), spiders with no-kill policies vs those who are willing to use lethal force (eg hobie, noir, miguel, etc), and all sorts of other contradictions/limitations between various types of spiders.

back to the point about miguel’s mischaracterization: a lot of people see miguel as a completely immoral “villain” because of his behavior towards miles. miguel, however, is not a purely evil figure, nor is he— or miles, for that matter— a perfect, noble, morally pure hero. they’re on the spectrum of grey morality, just like all of the spider-people are! of course, there is an extent to which you can determine someone to be less or more morally “good” than another— objectively, miles is a pretty nice kid, but miguel is an emotionally unregulated asshole, and i definitely don’t see enough people wondering about the fucked-up-ness of replacing himself in another universe and raising what is technically someone else’s child as his own— not to mention how that act resulted in the blood of billions, including said daughter, on his hands. also, on a smaller scale, he’s just unnecessarily rude and aggressive towards miles and even the damn machinery in his office, and has issues with physical aggression. overall, he’s clearly an antagonist in the film (NOT a “villain,” which i shouldn’t have to explain are different things).

he isn’t completely void of morality, though. in fact, his role as spider man stems from a desire to make up for past wrongs, as shown in this quote from his comic character: “I've spent the past few years trying to make up for what a shocking uncaring jerk I was for most of my life. Trying to help people I previously wouldn't have given a damn about… trying to lend a hand and sometimes getting it slapped down for my trouble… Occasionally I wonder if it's worth it…” (https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Miguel_O%27Hara_(Earth-928) ). his contrasting moral ideals to miles allows him to act as a character foil for miles, an opposite but adjacent image. miles wants to protect those close to him, miguel wants to protect the grand scheme of the universe (which includes miles and his own universe, even if miles is an “anomaly”). miles is going to try to have “both cakes,” miguel tried and failed to do that and wants to stop miles before he can make the same mistakes (whether or not the canon theory is right doesn’t factor into this intention). miles is a “good kid” who’s experienced comparatively little cruelty as miguel has, who in addition to having the blood of billions indirectly upon his hands, was also abused, experimented on, an addict, etc etc (comics lore stuff, all info from his fandom wiki page.). no, miguel isn’t a “good person,” and no, not all of his actions are justified by his past. but he isn’t “evil,” and despite everything, he still doesn’t wish harm upon anyone— miles included.

besides, it’s not like miguel fuckin kills anomalies with his bare hands or something.

it really makes me wonder if any of the people i see saying that miguel “hates” miles watched the same movie as me. he’s clearly trying to protect miles, even if he’s doing so in a callous and frankly not-at-all effective way (kinda ironic— he beat the kid up to try and protect him, resulting in the kid also needing to be protected FROM him).

aaaaand this acts as a great segue into the last main flavor of mischaracterization:

3. fanon diverging from canon flavor

anyone who’s spent enough time in fandom spaces knows the domino effect of how canon becomes fanon: a food the character likes or a logo seen one time is referenced so many times in fan works that it becomes synonymous with the character themself; an exaggerated joke is made so many times that people who either know or care less about the source material accept it as fact, etc (the most famous example i can think of is “oikawa’s knee injury” from haikyuu— if you haven’t heard of it, it’s kind of incredible). and thus a fanon interpretation of the character and media is born, sometimes only slightly off from canon and sometimes egregiously so; sometimes in ways that are inconsequential to the way the source media is consumed and other times completely rewrite how people see it.

miguel’s fanon is unfortunately the latter in both ways. thus, we have the two main sins of canon miguel o’hara: 1) he hates miles, and 2) he’s racist.

the first one i get how people arrive at said conclusion. miguel, be it out of stress or just his inherent abrasive nature, is rude to miles, fights him without pulling punches, tells him soul crushing things like that he’s a mistake and that it was his fault that there’s a hole in the multiverse, that original earth-1610 spider-man died, and that earth 42 doesn’t have one. but we already know that miguel has a really short temper and issues regulating his emotions— not just from how he says these things and uses excess force against miles, but also in how he’s quick to snap at peter, gwen, lyla, hobie, etc, and how he throws/breaks thing when he’s angry. also, miguel isn’t an idiot— he’s a geneticist/engineer by non-spider profession, and it’s his efforts that led to the development of multiversal travel and the creation of spider society. logically, he has to know that miles himself had no control over the spider being moved to his dimension or getting bit. as such, to me it seems more like he was overcome by his unregulated emotions (read: unaddressed mental health issues relating to various traumatic experiences) when he was yelling at miles on the moon train. i refuse to believe that not a single one of these people who see miguel as simply hating miles has never said something they didn’t mean in an argument, just out of anger or for pure impact’s sake.

admittedly there’s a little wiggle room in saying miguel didn’t really mean what he said to miles, but it’s more difficult to argue he 100% did mean it, considering what we know about miguel’s mannerisms and ideals. like i said before, he does not act with any intention of harming people, and tries to minimize harm done to them or others by making what he thinks to be “necessary sacrifices.”

the second sin of fanon miguel is so much more frustrating to witness.

i’ve seen a ton of jokes like “miguel hates miles because he’s black.” firstly, we’ve addressed how he doesn’t necessarily hate miles. secondly, the racism joke is a common one i’ve seen irl and on social media, and it’s one that stems from the obsession with race integrated into american culture and history, but that’s all it is— a joke. or at least that’s what my dumbass thought until i saw someone genuinely arguing that miguel is racist today on tiktok, which sparked this entire rant and the post that birthed it.

this person’s points, which i had to use some significant effort to unearth in the overall mess that was their video, was that miguel was racist because 1) he mocked miles’s spanish self intro by saying “que maravilla” and responding in english after that point, therefore supposedly insinuating that he considered himself above miles because miles is afro-latino and therefore not hispanic/latino enough, and 2) he didn’t accept the gift of the empanada and threw it down, somehow disrespecting miles via disrespecting food from his own organization’s cafeteria. and most of the hundreds of commenters were either agreeing with this or essentially saying “woah you must be right, let me blindly agree with unsubstantiated claims and then go on to spread more misinformation.”

i have no words.

firstly, the english and “que maravilla” point: miles does not speak perfectly fluent spanish. he has a bad grade in spanish class (possibly due to attendance based grading, but could also be attributed to missing the foundation necessary from class for homework/assessments), and his mom even criticized him for “spanglish” when he tells her “eso no es my fault.” another sneaky way the movie writers made it clear that 1610 miles’s primary language isn’t spanish is in how he pronounces his name different to miles 42, who in the absence of his father has more influence from his mother, including in his intonation.

i’m not saying miles doesn’t speak spanish fluently, but as another bilingual low-key girlfailure, i can tell you right now that it would be a stupid idea to try and tell me about the fate of the multiverse in my secondary language when english is an option. miles doesn’t speak spanish at school or with at least half of his family, so there’s no way he has the vocab necessary to talk about such high level concepts in spanish. this much obvious from the kinda clunky and accented way he offered miguel the empanada, which is likely why miguel would talk to him in english, not out of some “i’m more hispanic than you” or “you’re half black” superiority complex— ESPECIALLY BECAUSE MIGUEL HIMSELF IS ALSO ONLY HALF HISPANIC.

also. the movie is in english, for english audiences. guess what language the other spiders in hq all speak? english. i read an article which talks about how not subtitling spanish (or any other language, for that matter- notice how the sound effects in mumbhattan are in hindi?) was an immersion choice— so having a full, subbed or unsubbed conversation in spanish would just straight up make no sense, not to mention that the other spiders that were part of said conversation, eg peter b., gwen, jess, hobie, lab, etc etc would ALSO not understand (https://remezcla.com/features/film/miles-morales-spider-man-spider-verse-spanish-dialogue/).

as for “que maravilla,” that’s a standard issue dick move by miguel. the same effect would’ve been achieved with “wonderful” in english. the only argument i can make in favor of the other person’s theory is that by saying “que maravilla” instead of a similar comment in english, miguel was partially mocking miles’s not amazing spanish, which is again just a dick move, not a sign of racially aligned malice. just because miles is black does not make every action against him motivated by racism, and to insinuate so is in and of itself kind of racist! as much as characters exist in tandem with their backgrounds, culturally or ethnically or in whatever other way, they also exist despite them. not every not white character needs to have their central character conflict revolve around their race. saying that miles must be subjected to anti-black sentiment at every possible turn is reductionist, bad in a similar way to how pavitr is reduced to chai or how miguel is sometimes reduced to being sexy because he’s hispanic. all different flavors of racism— still racism.

the second half of the tiktoker’s theory is genuinely just bullshit. miles grabbed an empanada from the cafeteria because jess mentioned miguel liked them, and miles wanted to be nice. chances are he would’ve grabbed a burger if that’s what jess had said miguel preferred.

also, since i mentioned her— jess is black, if that even matters, and miguel has his complete trust in her. i won’t argue further on that point though because pointing out the individual character’s races and saying that characters behave in xyz way towards them exclusively because of it is a weird thing to do, especially in a movie that is just not centered on racism as a main source of conflict. aspects that could be related to race are touched on— miles’s college application process, rio telling him to not let the people at the fancy places tear him down, etc— but race isn’t the focal struggle miles is working with in the movies, his identity as spider-man is.

additionally, a huge point of spider-man as a whole is that anyone can wear the mask— in fact, some of the hero’s early successes are attributed to the fact that “since the costume completely covers Spider-Man's body, people of all races could visualize themselves inside the costume and thus more easily identify with the character” (again from wikipedia). itsv and atsv leaned into this pretty heavy with the whole “you can wear the mask, anyone can wear the mask” type dialogues. i know there are various comic series with much more social and political commentary, like noir and hobie’s series (also weirdly enough— miguel’s wiki said that when he traveled to the present day, he was most concerned about climate change and trump’s election??? another argument against the whole racist thing ig but like huh???), but for atsv in particular, it seems redundant to have a racial conflict between two spider people.

one last thing, since i brought up comic miguel a handful of times:

4. comics lore flavor

the lack of comic lore depth in the movie surrounding miguel’s past led a lot of people to arrive at slightly wrong conclusions about him. again, these ones don’t upset me too much unless people who refuse to dig into the lore try to falsely claim things that are straight up wrong.

firstly, miguel isn’t a vampire, and the fact that he uses claws isn’t as a reference to the prowler. (his theme is pretty similar to the prowler theme though from a compositional standpoint— potential for some other analysis? but not this one). miguel wasn’t bit by a spider, he was genetically engineered, and as such has a slightly different ability profile from classic spider people. he isn’t innately sticky (his claws are akin to the setules spiders use to stick to surfaces via electrostatic/van-der-waals forces, only miguel actually uses them like claws because that’s too bitty gritty with the physics), he doesn’t have a spidey-sense, he has fangs that inject venom, and rather than using the conventional web shooter device used by most spiders, he has natural web shooters in his physiology in the comics and seems to use some sort of technology to either replace or supplement that in the movies. (how spiders stick: https://physicsworld.com/a/spiders-get-a-grip/#:~:text=The%20scientists%20found%20that%20the,surfaces%20(see%20figure%202).)

secondly, miguel’s backstory: in atsv, he explained that he found “a universe where he was happy.” here’s a summary of miguel 928 (the movie ver is from earth 928B despite being listed as 928 in the movie bc comic and movie miguel aren’t the same guy): he was born of an affair, his mom’s husband was abusive to him and his mom/brother. he worked at alchemax when he grew up and killed a test subject for his genetic engineering project, and when he tried to leave, his bio father (his boss) forced him into an addiction to make him stay. he then tested the genetic engineering thing on himself to try and get rid of his addiction (because the addiction was also essentially genetic engineering and his ig dna was in the database), and then that went horribly wrong and that’s how his spider abilities came to be. it gets worse from there, particularly in how he does have a biological child in the comics, but the kid is hidden from him and then his home universe collapses or something like that. miguel’s comics are not known to be fantastic, and authoring issues have given rise to plot inconsistencies within his world’s storyline (https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Gabriel_O%27Hara_(Earth-928) ). there’s also a handful of other miguel variants from comic multiverse arcs who don’t seem to have much better histories, but they’re not all that well elaborated on. either way, lack of info on miguel’s deeply unfortunate backstory makes him look like he’s gratuitously an asshole for no reason other than to be mean. (he is an asshole, though. comics miguel is an ass too. they’re tortured, justice-upholding assholes, but assholes nonetheless.)

anyways, that about finished my rant about miguel’s mischaracterization. i could write essays similar in length or context about other spiders who get misrepresented in the fandom, especially hobie and pav, but i would need to see some interest in my doing so because i’m not fixated on them quite as much as i am miguel.

if there’s typos in this: no there ain’t

immensely distraught by the insane mischaracterization of miguel o’hara

[theliterateape]

Squaring the Circle: Tips on Managing the Chaos

by Don Hall

“Goddamnit. How do you manage to cope with all of this...chaos in the world and still stay optimistic? I don’t think you’re stupid but maybe you’re just too stupid to see how bad things are getting.”

It’s true. Maybe I am stupid. I’ve certainly been called worse by both political extremes since...well...as long as I can remember. If I am stupid, I’m definitely too dense to recognize it. Managing chaos, living in uncertain times, is just that. Managing and living.

Back in 2015, Alice Kim and I were a dysfunctional couple. That relationship was a constant source of tension and did some damage to both of us. I did, however, learn many things from it and from her. One gift she gave me was the idea of reframing things to see a different angle. I have always been on the outside of things and perpetually looking for that contrarian point of view but that was as much about fueling conflict as it was about the frame.

As a theater artist, my work was inspired by DADAists and the legend of Andy Kaufman. Framing society as a series of ongoing behavioral experiments. Pushing buttons on people to see how they would react. Not so much instigating mean-spirited pranks but close enough to bear that definition.

Alice’s view was that one could gently shift the frame on a given situation. Reframe reality because, for most of us, reality is cemented in our perception of it.

2020 seems to be a real shitshow. Trump is still in office. A pandemic rages throughout the globe. Massive unemployment and the coming of our second Great Depression. A video of George Floyd being murdered by a police officer has been seen 800 million times by one million people. Protests for civil rights. Alt Right terrorists joining the protests to foment the idea that these protests are really riots. While in the back of the queue, we still contend with pending climate disaster, crumbling credibility on the World Stage, an almost maniacally conservative federal court system, and an increasingly powerful and poisonous cancel culture that now seems more like a raging wildfire consuming every and anyone who bothers to even question the orthodoxy of the Extreme Zealots of both White Supremacy and Critical Race Theory.

We’re fucked.

Reframe.

There is actually little evil in the world (if you choose to see things in the binary Good & Evil mode) but metric tons of stupidity and selfish interests. While brutal cops are a problem and the mostly accidental murders of citizens by police are motivated by incompetence driven by lived experience bias, the vast majority of people are merely focused on themselves without much thought put into how their actions affect others. Not evil but certainly fucking annoying.

That guy who parked in two spots isn’t evil, he’s a selfish asshat. The guy who makes a racist joke to make his Black co-workers laugh isn’t evil, he’s just a bigot but one trying to find a way into his 1970’s version of race relations in an increasingly fed up world.

Most people are motivated by what they perceive as good intentions despite their born-in tendency of stupidity and selfishness.

Further, simply looking at the history and progress the world has made gives us a macro-view of things. That more objective scene demonstrates that in the past fifty years we are living longer, healthier lives, literacy is at an all-time high, being gay is no longer stigmatizing in many cases, Black incarceration has declined dramatically, police killing people has declined dramatically, women are more empowered, run more businesses, and are increasingly being elected to public office.

Is there still suffering? Of course. Everyone (even the white people) suffers. The question to ask is not Who suffers more? which invites nothing more than an Olympiad of Victim Status but For what reason are people suffering? Nobody should be insulted, attacked, threatened, etc. but we live in a country of 330 million people and that Shangrala is not realistic in any meaningful way. If we (as in society of free thinking but incredibly stupid and selfish people united by the Grand Experiment in Diverse Democracy) hope to stand up against hateful ideas, we have to be willing to sacrifice a bit.

Uncertainty and chaos are no more bad than good. They simply are.

Most aspects of our lives are completely beyond our control and the attempt to control them is like lighting the candle scented “Frustration” while sipping the “Disappointment” cup of tea. 

Living for thirty years in Chicago was instructive to this point. The weather in Chicago is the perfect incarnation of Chaos at Play. On any given day during any given month there could be thick humidity and stifling heat, pouring rain, sleet, or thirty below zero skin-cracking freeze. If control is your bag, living in Chicago could likely drive you insane just trying to be fully prepared for going outside.

How does one handle it?

The cliché is to Expect the Unexpected which is some fucking feel-good bullshit as it is easy to attribute to wisdom and completely unhelpful. The more substantial answer comes in three parts:

Always have the worst case scenario in mind while simultaneously understanding that the Vegas odds of that same scenario are heavily favored against it.

Actively lower your expectations in keeping with how unrealistic your wants actually are.

Realize that no one owes you anything — not respect, not deference, not politeness — nothing. The world owes no one anything because the world is designed in every way to make it difficult to survive.

Number one is pretty easy. Over the years of reframing, I’ve trained myself to ask that question: What is the absolute worst case possible? 

Take the civil unrest at play right now. The worst case scenario is a full-out war between those protesting for substantial police reform and the police. The police have all the military-grade weapons which would be Kent State meets every school shooting plus some The Purge impunity. That is highly unlikely to happen because while we are stupid and selfish, for the most part, no one really wants to be in a firefight if it can be avoided.

Number two is probably the most taxing. In an age of instant satisfaction — fast food, same day delivery, instant messaging — dialing down our expectations is a pain in the ass. Our emotions dictate so much of how we behave and our emotions are an erratic, messy, impulsive roommate in our head. There’s no shame in feeling the Big Feels but acting upon those feelings is like taking advice from a dude masturbating into his hat while singing nonsense songs about BitCoin conspiracies. Not a great road map to solid decision making.

Number three is kind of an extension of number two. In a democracy, we believe we have rights. Our rights are guaranteed. We feel like we can demand fealty to these rights from everyone around us but the fault in that logic hits the record scratch when we are confronted with everyone demanding their rights at the same time. Adding to that the simple truth that things like pandemics and earthquakes give no fucks whatsoever about your unalienable rights and it just works out better to assume you deserve nothing, are owed nothing, that your rights are as fragile as your credit score.

If there is a fourth reframe to consider it is limit the things you take personally. Most people don’t have much concern for you or your existence as most people in a planet of billions are abstract rather than concrete. George Floyd is concrete because we saw him die on video. Black Lives are abstract because the concept lacks specificity.

Like it or not (and in direct conflict with the notion that there are enemies at every gate) most people are not so much against you as they are for themselves.

Finally, do your level best to explore perspective. Reframing requires looking outside of your lived experience and looking at things from another’s.

Donald Trump is a horror on a daily basis. Stream The Madness of King George and realize that other people have had it worse and survived.

COVID-19 is a scourge that is upending the carefully laid table of society. Go read up on plagues throughout history to gain understanding that these things are simply not the end of all things but the beginning of new things.

Abolishing the Police is a great idea until, like the small neighborhood of well intentioned white liberals in Minneapolis who decided to no longer allow police on their blocks only to suddenly have their public park filled with occupying drug addicts and carjackers, you kind of need someone to call when the shit hits the fan.

Reframe. Relax. Go to sleep and wake up. Eat something. Do something nice for someone without hopes for reward or social media kudos. Drink some water. Make a few bucks. Do it again tomorrow.