#it’s performative cuz you’re saying ‘look i’m not depending a man’s feelings on a girl and girl ship’ while actively taking away any of the

[two-sides-samecoin]

okay i absolutely hate the thinking that some people (ronancers) have of ‘why are you not shipping this w|w ship because of steve who is a man why are you depending a man’s feelings on a w|w ship’ maybe it’s because regardless of your gender or your sexuality screwing over and betraying a friend is exactly that! it has NOTHING to do with sexuality or gender! SCREWING OVER A FRIEND IS SCREWING OVER A FRIEND REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOU IDENTIFY AS!!

[roanniom]

Omg the need to validate and make Steve feel loved is all consuming. Like I just picture him so desperate to please the girls he dates like hoping if he gets them off good enough he will be good enough and they will love him but they all just want to hook up with him cuz he’s good at getting a girl off and that’s all they want. He just needs someone to turn the tables on him and focus just on his pleasure and telling him how special and important and loved he is!!!

(I will graciously volunteer to do this for our poor sweet boy!)

You’re Good, Steve

Steve Harrington x Fem!reader

Warnings: NSFW, 18+ ONLY, oral sex (f receiving), PIV / unprotected sex, angst in the form of Steve’s issues with self worth but it’s a happy ending ♥️

Steve has spent a long time atoning for his past douchebag behavior. He’s been unsuccessful in love for what feels like a really long time, and for a while he kind of felt like he deserved it. He hadn’t been the greatest guy, he’s the first to own up to that. But it’s started to feel really upsetting to be used when all he wants is someone who’ll stay. Especially when he’s spent so long trying his best to make amends.

The first time the two of you hook up, you can feel it in him. The eagerness to please. The reputation he’s trying to live up to and surpass. The desperation to impress you feels almost performative.

Steve insists on going down on you, though you let him know he doesn’t need to.

“Guys haven’t really done that for me that much and it doesn’t always…do it,” you say with a shrug and a smile, but Steve gives you a smirk and moves down your body.

“Well I’m Steve Harrington, baby. I get the job done.” The fucker winks at you from between your thighs before diving down and eating you out like his life depended on it.

And he does get the job done. Twice. You’re grabbing at his shoulders and pulling at his shirt to get him to leave your poor abused clit alone and he comes back up over you with a shining smile.

“That do it for you, baby?”

You laugh breathlessly and nod, kissing him deeply. Your hand moves to his jeans and you palm at the impressive bulge that greets you. He only indulges himself in your touch for a moment before pushing you back against the bed.

When he does fuck you, something feels off. You realize when you open your eyes that he seems to be anxiously watching for your reactions. His words are stilted, and a bit cliche. Nothing like the man you’d fallen for. The one who says stupid things and laughs at himself. The one who teases you mercilessly soaks up every moment of pleasure with his friends.

And that when you realize that that’s what’s missing - Steve’s pleasure. You point it out while placing a hand on his cheek and grabbing at his waist to get him to stop thrusting.

“You make me feel really good,” you say quietly, maintaining eye contact. His brow furrows a bit like he’s confused.

“Well yeah that’s kinda the point baby,” he tries to say nonchalantly but you keep your hand on his cheek till his grin dims a bit, really listening now.

“You make me feel good. Not King Steve. Not Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington. Just you, Steve.” Your words are earnest and you see his eyes glaze a bit, looking suddenly far away. You use the opportunity to gently disengage yourself and maneuver him so that he’s sitting up against the headboard. You climb back into his lap and grip his cock, wet from your arousal, and stroke it slowly and rhythmically. This time he lets you.

“I don’t understand - ,” Steve starts to question you but you put a finger to his lips. You’d free hand tangles into the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him in for a slow, sensual kiss. It takes him a second but he gets into it. After a moment he’s massaging your tongue sigh his own, his hands flying from your hips to your waist to your back. When you pull away you lock eyes with him again.

“There’s nothing to understand. You’ve been making tonight all about me - and believe me, you’ve rocked my world - but now I wanna rock yours.”

You can see the protest in his eyes, lips parted and poised to argue, to wrestle back control and continue the viscous cycle he’s found himself stuck in, but you choose that moment to sink back down on his cock. A moan falls instead from those parted lips, his hands coming to grip your hips as he bottoms out inside you.

And you ride him. Slow and steady at first. Then picking up speed as you watch him start to fall apart. You maintain eye contact the whole time. At first it seems difficult for him. You assume he’s not used to this level of vulnerability or intimacy. But anytime he tries to look away, you grip his chin and bring him back to you.

You feel you’ve finally reached him when you shift so that you’re in his arms, rolling your hips in a shallow range of motion but keeping your forehead pressed to his. His face crumples and he lets out a loud whine at the angle change. His eyes flit down to try and see your hips as you work them against his,but they dart back up without being promoted, searching for yours and finding you still gazing at him. Open and warm.

“You’re so good, Steve,” you pant into his accepting mouth. Your previous orgasms had made you wet and pliable and you’re bouncing on him now, waiting for him to find his release but enjoying the ride nonetheless.

Steve moans at your words, eyes rolling back in his head before flitting back to yours anxiously. His fingers bruise your hips and you love it. Ache to see the marks he leaves behind in the cool light of morning.

“Yeah?” Steve asks in response yo your praise.

“Yeah. So good, Steve.”

He cries when he cums that night. It’s not much, really just a few tears that spill over his lashes at the overwhelming pleasure of his climax and the overwhelming emotion you caused him to confront. You never speak of it directly with him, but as your relationship progresses you learn more and more of the circumstances that brought Steve to question his worth. The circumstances that made him see pleasuring lovers as a penance, one that never seemed to pay off with affection and someone who stayed.

But you made sure to remind Steve every day that his pleasure was an integral component of your own. And that he was good enough as he was - flaws and growing pains and all.

And you stayed.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #181

"wine is fine, but whiskey’s quicker. suicide is slow with liquor.”

What’s the farthest you’ve gone with someone? I mean I'm not a virgin? Have you ever said “I love you” to someone and didn’t mean it? I don't believe so. Do your parents usually agree with your partners-of-choice? Yeah. I really don't know how Dad feels about me being with a girl currently, but he likes her personally. How many people do you like right now? (even the slightest bit) Legitimately, just one. My "I don't actually know this celeb but I'd 10/10 marry them" thing is just a joke. Do you believe little kids can fall in love? My guess is not until you reach a certain level of maturity where you can grasp the seriousness of "falling in love." But who really knows. What was the last dream that you can remember? On the morning I'm answering this one, I swear I had like ten or something last night. As time goes on though, they're starting to blur together. The one that stands out most tho is my sis and I became the first Americans (yes, that was a detail) to fully infiltrate a Russian, secret government base without being killed. Look idk either. Have you ever been rickrolled? Maybe? Do you like balogna? Yeah. It was my favorite lunch meat as a kid. Are you supersticious? No. What animals have you ridden? Horses and ponies off the top of my head. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done to someone you don’t know in public? I don't think I've done anything notable for this. Do you ever stick gum under seats? No, and my opinion of you greatly plummets if you do. Do you live somewhere where it’s completely safe to walk alone at night? I don't think those exist anymore. Have you ever lived with someone who was a total slob? When Dustin pretty much lived in the apartment with us... jc. Would you rather be able to talk to animals or be fluent in every language? Talk to animals. Does your kitchen have a pantry? No. Have you ever interviewed a job applicant at your workplace? N/A Have you ever gone over 3 months without shaving/waxing your legs? I don't shave them anymore unless I fear there's even a tiny chance someone might see them... Thanks, society. Are you high-maintenance? Definitely not. Would you ever consider being a foster parent? Being any kind of parent is off the list for me. What are some things that make others cry, that don’t make you cry at all? Idk, I'm a crybaby. Most sad songs don't, I guess. Are you a very detail-oriented person? Or are you better at seeing the big picture? Definitely the former. Do you have any upcoming plans with friends? lol What kinds of leisure activities did your family do together when you were growing up? Watch TV or sometimes play board games, probs. Occasionally all go in the pool together. Dragons or unicorns? I'm all 'bout dragons, man. Do you wish vampires existed? Um no. Do you sing in front of people you don’t know very well? How about dance? Nope. Have you ever sang/spoke/preformed in front of people on a stage? Sang in church choir and elementary chorus, read my D.A.R.E. report, and was in groups at dance recitals and competitions. Is it more fun or scary to do so? If you haven’t, then what would you think? Eh, it depends on your level of confidence in what you're performing. Like with dance, I was never that nervous as I knew what I was doing. Singing wasn't bad either because I was with others. Now reading aloud, alone, fuck that. I think anything alone would be scary. Would you rather slit your wrists than read Cosmo? I normally delete just plain stupid questions, but I'm leaving this here to hope and pray the author of this question sees me sincerely  and genuinely say fuck you, you goddamn fly-swarmed shitpile with a maturity level surpassed by an infant's. Did you ever like barbies? Do you currently like barbies? They weren't really my thing, but I'd play with them if my sisters or friends wanted me to. What’s your favorite hit song right now? I don't know what the hit songs are right now. What’s your favorite element? (fire, water, air) Out of the traditional four, fire. Have you ever been to a wild party? No. Have you gone through any drastic life-changing experiences? If so, what was the most drastic? Depression and anxiety manifesting was absolutely life-changing, and then when you consider it resulted in PTSD, obviously the break-up was incredibly serious, but it also led towards my gradual recovery. What traits from your father would you like to pass down to your children? Don't want kids, but I'll answer as if I did. If that were the case, I like how he's not one for grudges, is very openly himself, and is super goofy. What is your biggest fault? It probably all boils down to my anxiety and trust issues resulting in me jumping to conclusions. If you could transform into any animal what would it be and why? Probably a snow leopard. Climate I love, super pretty, and I know I'd wanna be a feline anyway. What are the first three things you do when you wake up? Check the time, go to the bathroom, then it varies. Can you remember the first time you ever talked to the person you love/like? Does he/she remember? Ha, sure do, both through text and Skype... I'm sure she remembers the basics at least, too. Would you be able to have a relationship with someone you didn’t find attractive, if they had a nice personality and treated you well? Yeah. Have you ever really liked someone to begin with, then changed your mind about them? Maybe? Does your significant other/crush know about your Tumblr? Does he/she look at it? Yeah, and we follow each other, so. Do you ever feel a desire for sex at inappropriate times? Define "inappropriate?" What was the last thing that one of your parents bought for you? Fast food. Think about your first boyfriend/girlfriend. Did that person make you happy? What went wrong in the relationship? Sure, but just as friends. If you decided to dye your hair, would you choose to go lighter or darker? Lighter. I want more colorful hair. Is there a TV show or movie in which you’re incredibly emotionally attached to the characters? I don't think so "incredibly" since Meerkat Manor. Would you rather arrive super early or super late to class? Early. What’s something really basic that worries or troubles you on a consistent basis? It's a wonder I'm blanking here considering I know there's a load of things. What do you use the internet for the most? YouTube. On a scale of one to ten, how good is your memory? A goddamn one. It's been exceptionally awful lately. Do you worry about money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YEAH. Do you have any health problems that are unusual for your age? Well, the memory thing, though it's probably just a side effect of my meds or actual ADD. My knees are atrocious, though, and after many, many tests, we still can't figure out what's wrong with them. What’s the longest nap you’ve ever taken? When does it no longer qualify as a nap?  Maybe like... four hours at max? Are you more likely to expect the best or the worst of a situation? The worst. Always. Have you ever said or done something in public that resulted in a stranger’s response? Possibly. How many serious relationships have you been in? Two. Do you think you have a vivid imagination? Very, personally. What was the last song you listened to? "Sick Like Me" by In This Moment. How many hours a day do you spend on Facebook, if any? Not even one. Do you own your favorite film on DVD? Maybe? Idk if we replaced the VHS. Have you ever been so angry that you screamed out of nowhere? On one occasion I basically screeched my lungs out on the porch. What’s your opinion on Nicki Minaj? I guess as a rapper she's good, she's indisputably quick as fuck, but I'm not a fan personally. Do you like having your lip softly bitten when you’re kissing? Oh fuck yes. Have you ever been on a boat? Yeah, when Dad would take me fishing and also on a 5th grade field trip to a horse-inhabited island near one of the lighthouses. We couldn't go to the lighthouse because the water was too rough. Have you ever been hopelessly in love with a celebrity? You can't be "in love" with someone you've never met and don't know personally. Generally speaking, do you like acoustic or original versions of songs better? Hm... tied, I think. What was the last band shirt you wore? Otep. Do you follow any celebrities on Twitter? I use Twitter only for Mark. That is all. What was the last flavor of pudding or yogurt you ate? Chocolate. What was the last thing you bought online, and how about in an actual store? With my own money, online it was Sara's ring I believe, and in a store was a snack. When was the last time you met someone who seemed very unpleasant? Hm. I honestly don't go out and meet people enough to answer this. Does anyone have a romantic interest in you, that you don’t return? Possibly, but it doesn't matter. Have your parents met the person you’re currently interested in? Yeah. What was the last alcoholic drink you tried for the first time? Did you like it? Oh my fucking god, some kind of "fancy" vodka in a margarita. It was disgusting. Are your eyes the same color as your siblings’ eyes? Only my brother. What food(s) have you eaten a lot of recently? Nutrition/meal replacement shakes. Do you use the microwave a lot when it comes to cooking food? Yeah, 'cuz I can't cook. Are you currently trying to get over someone? No. Do you know anyone who’s been on TV? If so, which show? Not to my knowledge. Do you have any lockets with pictures inside? No. Have you ever liked a football player? No. What was the last thing you learned? Some snacks rats can eat. Do you like Chinese food, Mexican food, or American food better? American. I'm very picky with all foreign food, actually. What’s your favorite scent? Freshly-baked bread, coffee, honeydew, lilacs... If you could house any pet, what would it be? Out of all pet options, uh... I suppose a horse or Saint Bernard if I had the means to properly care for them, too. Do you pluck your eyebrows? No. Do you like to swing? YEAH. How about jumping on a trampoline? I would if my knees weren't shit. If you could have any car, what kind would it be? Idk. I'm not educated on cars enough. What’s your favorite fast-food restaurant? I'm a slut for Wendy's. How often do you like to have sex? I'm not in a position where that's ever a thing yet. It wasn't something I thought about with Jason either, but we were pretty regular with sexual affection so we never went very long without, anyway. What’s your definition of weird? I don't care to define it, honestly. "Weird" can be good, bad, neutral... It's too vast a term and super subjective. Do you use shaving cream? That or lotion when I shave my legs. Have you ever personally known any girl who shaved their head? Well, she's an online friend, but I'd count her. Have you ever coughed up blood? I don't believe so. Who was the last person you hugged? My niece or nephew. What’s some of the worst pain you’ve ever felt? Mental: heartbreak and abandonment (both without any obvious prologue), rejection from who I cared about most, as well as deep hopelessness. Physical: having a cyst drained, an internal hemorrhoid, fracturing my wrist, having my tongue piercing redone and more accurately, a severe case of constipation I had as a little kid, an ear infection that made me want to chop it off and all out, a concussion, menstrual cramps before I was put on the pill... What kind of mouse pad do you have? I use a trackpad. What color is your mouse? ^ What’s your favorite dessert food? Ice cream, donuts, or red velvet cake omlllll. What is the closest thing to you right now that is alive? My dog Teddy. Are you an outcast? By the actual definition, no, though I feel it occasionally. Do you exercise? Ugh, no. I'm working on building back up my motivation to do Wii Fit again. What’s your favorite carnival food? (cotton candy, corn dogs, funnel cake) I haven't been to enough and gotten food to know many at all. Are you a very open-minded person? I think I am, and I feel that improves further like, daily. Are you modest? Probably sounds immodest to say, but I know I am. What kind of guys/girls do you usually fall for? Above all else, my consistent weakness seems to be the "weirdos." The ones that really stand out in their uniqueness. Do you skate? No. I mean, I'm capable of rollerblading, but it's not something I do every weekend or something. If you were to make it big with your own band what would it’s name be? Hell if I know. HAHA WAIT. My old username in some places, BulletsxButterflies, was based off my Rock Band band "Bullets And Butterflies" and like can you say #myaesthetic so that'd be pretty cool I suppose. ... Although it was inspired by the song "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" and I don't wanna get sued so like- What’s your favorite kind of pasta? Just normal spaghetti with sauce and meatballs. Would you rather a friend come over to your house or you go over there? I GO OVER THERE. I am a SHIT host and there's nothing to do here anyway. What’s the perfect first date? Go to a sit-down restaurant (doesn't need to be expensive at all), just the two of you, and *talk*. Don't touch your phone, just talk and listen with honest interest in your partner. I think this is especially important if you started dating shortly after meeting, as now that you're together, you really need to get to know each other. If you were good friends prior, you should already be pretty familiar with the other, and then I think things are a bit more flexible. Have you ever had rabies? No. Do you know anyone who ever had to get a rabies shot? *shrugs* Ever eaten deer? Duck? Squirrel? How about lamb? No. Have you ever received a note in your locker? I believe I did in middle school from Aaron? What was the last birthday present you bought for someone? A personalized chameleon mug for my darling. Did you get grounded often as a child? No more than usual, I guess? If you have a car, how much does it take to fill up your gas tank? N/A What’s your favorite album from your favorite music artist? Ozzy's "Black Rain." Every song is absolutely amazing, replayed more times than I ever wanna count, and it was my introduction to metal. Was the last person you held hands with a significant other? No, Aubree took my hand as well as she could to take me to her brother's room. Do you remember the brand of your first cell phone? Uhhhh... Blueberry, maybe? What is your Facebook cover picture? A pink pastel background-type thing. Last video game you played? Shadow of the Colossus. I beat it all over again to start my Time Attack grind, but I'm thinking of waiting til I get the PS4 remake one day to do so. When did you last try a new restaurant? Back when I was up at Sara's again. Does “out of sight, out of mind” work for you? Usually no. Do you have any friends whose birthday is this month? MY BABY If you have a favorite actor/actress, which of their movies is your favorite? For Betty White, idk. Depp, Alice in Wonderland. Are you currently expecting anything to arrive in the mail? No. What is your favorite kind of salad? Just bring me a ship full of Olive Garden's salad and I'll be g. Do you own a tablet of any kind? No. How many minutes is the longest song in your music library? I'm not sure, but off the top of my head, probably "Call of Ktulu" by Metallica. What is a brand name you don’t really care for? Any?? Idc. Do you prefer sleeping in complete silence or with background noise? Not complete silence, but quiet, simple background noise. When was the last time you weighed yourself? Today. As I do almost everyday even tho you're not advised to. Oops. Would you convert to a different religion if your fiancé/fiancée was of a different faith? No. The world is ending, and you can save one group of five people: who would be the five people that you save? Just five ah screw you man. Considering both those I hold close to myself but also people I feel would help recover the world for the better, and also assuming you don't include animals: Sara, Mom, Mark Fischbach, my psychiatrist (he's so fucking knowledgeable on medication that the world does not need to lose all that information), and probably Jane Goodall. Well idk, she's up there in age and may not last very long, but. asjfapwuw this is a hard question, I'm trying to consider who I love personally but also who would be capable of properly rebuilding humanity, or at least give us last six (if I'm alive, too?) a happy end to our lives. What is one thing that you are proud of, that you think lacks praise/lacks appreciation from the people around you? It could be a simple thing; it could be a secret thing. Ummmm... idk. What is the funniest one-liner Tumblr text post you’ve ever read? THERE'S SO MANY What is the absolute hardest thing about staying alive? Staying in a mentally sound place. If you're not okay in your own head, that makes living so, so very hard, and too many people get there. What is a book that has been recognized as ‘great literature’ that you dislike? Why? *shrugs* I enjoyed those I recall reading. Except one I don't remember the name of. Do you believe in the supernatural? Absolutely, 110%. What was the last thing you cried about? Probably my current groundhog day cycle. Are you mad at yourself about anything? Always, sure, but in like, the back of my mind. It doesn't dominate my thoughts. What was the last thing you cooked on the stove? Eggs. What pharmacy do you use? Harris Teeter's. Are you proud of yourself or disappointed in yourself? Both. What do you consider the perfect temperature for winter? ~50 is my preferred temperature always. What does your umbrella look like? I think ours is black? What is something you wanted as a kid but never got? One of those little crane machines with stuffed animals in it. I had one for candy, I think... but apparently that wasn't enough for Young Brittany. What is something you were scared of as a kid? Porcelain dolls. Still make me uncomfortable. Do you like your current driver’s license picture? My permit one is HIDEOUS. What is your favorite Elvis song? "Devil In Disguise." Do you think you could be the next American Idol? Hell no. Do you prefer reading fiction or non-fiction? Fiction, easily. Do you prefer fruity candy canes or peppermint-flavored? I like both, but the former is my fave. Do you eat too much candy? No. If you ever took dance classes, what were your favorite classes? Jazz. Have you ever been bullied because of the things you like? I don't think so? Have you bullied others because they like things you do not? No. Were there any classes you enjoyed because of the teacher? Not "enjoyed," but made them better. Have you ever been a bad friend? I'm sure I have. Has a friend ever replaced you with somebody else? Yup. At least it really feels like it. Have you ever disliked something just because it was popular? Admittedly, I think there were some things when I was newly a teen and developing that "I'm not like others" mentality. Have you ever watched a movie just because it starred an actor you liked? Maybe? What about just because it starred an actor you thought was good-looking? ... I'm deadass tempted to see Aquaman because of this lmfao but I'm not going to. Are there actors/musicians you have met? No. Do you ever judge people based on the music they listen to? Nah. What would you say are your top five bands/artists? Gaaah... I'll try here. Ozzy, Metallica, Otep, Manson, and Korn, maybe? Has anyone ever told you that you were really pretty? Yeah. Do you listen to a wide variety of music? No. Most are some kind of metal and rock, but I do have some really random artists/bands I like, such as Melanie Martinez or Marina and the Diamonds. Did you ever go through a phase when you didn’t want to take medicine? No. Was the last book you read good? Yeah. Do you make grocery lists? I don't do the shopping, so no. Do you have stomach problems? It can be finicky every now and again, especially with "fancy" food. Do you enjoy editing photos? Yes! Peace signs or hearts? Hmmm, idk. I guess it depends on the style. What kind of pie is your favorite? None. Do you have a strong relationship with your parents? I feel very, very few parent-child relationships exist stronger than my mom's and mine. Dad and I are good, too. Do you know your best friend’s middle name? Yeah. Have you ever kissed someone that was high? No. Is your Facebook profile private? Yeah. How many true friends do you have? Like four? Who has your Facebook password? Me and Mom. Do you wear the hood on your hoodie? Pretty much never. Do you believe in aliens? I'm neutral. Do you like pineapple? Yessss. Is there anyone you dislike, that you have to see/speak to regularly? No. Are you living with anyone that isn’t related to you? No, if you don't include pets. How many people would you say you’ve been “in love” with? Two. Which one of your relatives are you most likely to argue/disagree with? MY GRANDMA. How much do you monthly pay for mortgage or rent? If you don’t, how much is your cell-phone bill? N/A What is your favorite grocery store to shop at, and how often do you shop for groceries? Sam's Club got them deals. But I don't do the grocery shopping. How many hours do you work a week? If you don’t work, do you plan on finding a job? If so, when? I'm getting help from vocational rehab now to find a job perfectly appropriate for me. Where did you have your first kiss? What about your last kiss? His bed; airport. When is the next time you will be going out of town? 18th for my therapy appointment. Hour away. What is the last thing you spoke to your father about? Phone bill. Where did you spend Christmas or any other winter holiday? My sister's house. Who in your life causes you the most stress or negative feelings? Myself. Do you like shopping alone? I wouldn't know. Do you have any scratches on your cell phone? A small one. When was the last time you blushed? Idk. Who is one person you met and automatically didn’t like? Most of my sister's exes. Almost all, really. Do you have any video game systems in your room? Which one(s)? Well, the DS is in here. Have you ever done another person’s make-up? Jason's as just a joke. What is one thing you don’t like sharing? My drawings or writings if you're in my "real" life. Online is like... mostly np, but otherwise, don't fucking look. If I share a drink with you too, that means a loooot. Where on your body would you NEVER get a piercing? You know... ~the spot~ Which Adam Sandler movie do you like the most? Idk. Did your parents ever read stories to you before bed? Yes. Would you be considered more of a teacher’s pet or a class clown? I was inadvertently the teacher’s pet like... always. Do you have any family members who are mean to you for no reason? No. Do you have to do any yard work? No. Do you have a nativity scene in your home? Mom will put it up eventually. If you’re a girl, what color is your favorite bra? Navy. Would you rather make a snow angel or snowman? Snowman. What is the best antique shop in your town? *shrugs* Does creating make you happy? YES YES YES YES!!!! Do you have abusive family members? No. What US city would you most like to visit? Idk. What country in the world would you most like to visit? Japan, probably. Or Scotland. Do you have your wedding all planned out in your head? No. Do you sell things online a lot? No. Is there anyone you secretly miss? No. What color are your Christmas lights? On our tree that isn't up yet? Rainbow. Owls or penguins? Owls.

[anxiety-trademark]

The week in review:

Raw 11/02 NXT 11/04 NXT UK 11/05 Smackdown 11/06

Raw:

Alexa just says, “he could be here,” then starts laughing. She’s like a walking red flag.

Love the difference in ‘play’ and ‘pain’, and I love how she’ll wave with either one depending on her intentions. Interesting to note that she’s left-handed, so every time she uses her right for ‘play’ it is absolutely a conscious decision.

Great editing to have Alexa disappear.

Randy’s got a hard life rn lmao.

Mandy and Dana’s gear looks fantastic.

Wow Lana is hella ballsy coming out there during their tag match.

Mandy Rose trying to use Octopus stretch? What an interesting world we live in.

I understand that Dana and Mandy might want the tag titles, I’m just not sure it’s wise to be fighting your future teammates ahead of SvS :/

Dana and Mandy do good team work, I just wish they’d work on the timing for their synchronized cartwheel + kick combo.

Pretty suplex, Shayna. Shayna’s probably the nicest most harmless bull you’ve ever seen. I become more and more of a fan every week.

Damn Mandy plays perfect defense but Shayna kicked out. Good teamwork though.

So Lana’s a face now because Nia and Shayna are assholes who have been tormenting her for like 7ish weeks? Do I have that right?

Oh sad, Lana accidentally screwed Dana and Mandy out of winning the titles. Ahhhh this is why Lana has no friends.

Lmfaooo. “What cuz [Lana’s] a little butthurt that I put her through a table?” “You put Lana through six tabl--” “I TOLD you NOT to say her name in my presence.” pffftt bye.

Weak finish to that promo. Hella rude to threaten to end someone’s career though, Nia. Hella rude.

I love Alexa’s enthusiasm when she’s the Firefly Funhouse version of herself.

Bro what the fuck. Christ these always have so much to digest.

I don’t... I don’t know what exactly her trick is... was that blood? Are we going for blood? That didn’t look like blood. It looked like melted fucking organs or something (or melted down candy/licorice/gelatin but let’s not get meta and ruin the fun)

I love the contacts. That’s an interesting look that I wish she’d carry on in her present day matches once she transforms into her evil, alternate self. Also noted that he used his ‘heal’ hand to turn her into the blood spitting, warped version... and I think it was the same last time, right? Was it his ‘heal’ hand last time? What does that mean in his eyes??

These are such a mindfuck ever since she joined his Funhouse. That’s not a complaint.

Why are they having Nia fight in 2 matches tonight? Why couldn’t they push this off a week?

First off, I really don’t like Lacey and Peyton together, and I’m actually quite fond of Lacey. She’s not the best worker, but she’s a fantastic entertainer, and that deserves much more respect than a random tag team with Peyton Royce.

Second, LOL at Shayna immediately clearing off the announce table. This is gonna be tragic and unfair. If I’m Lana, why the hell would I accept this match? Ego? WHAT EGO DOES LANA HAVE lol. This should be pointless in her eyes.

Lana your bravery isn’t gonna get you shit. Is Asuka gonna come out? Cuz that’s the only way you survive this.

Normally you won’t hear me cry about no selling like the dumbass iwc, but Lana did a pretty fucking high worked kick and should’ve nailed Nia in the side of the head/neck. Why wasn’t there a reaction to that? Lame. That should’ve stunned Nia at the very least. Made her flinch? Anything??

LMAO Nia just called her a pathetic piece of crap. Rolling.

Nia breaks up the pinfall attempt on Lana herself x2. Fantastic heel work. Don’t see that enough.

Peep the red marks on Lana’s back. Sad.

Fuck man, table number 7. That’s... that’s sad. Pretty bummed that NOBODY will come help her. 7 fucking times, whew.

Having a lot of the women appear multiple times tonight. Looking at how the Raw women’s division is being booked, I gotta say, SD is kinda over-bloated.

Oh cool I can actually see Alexa’s white tattoo on her shoulder blade in this lighting.

Nikki I’d advise you to not speak ill of the fiend. Also lesbireal, you iced her out the second you didn’t win the title against Bayley all those months ago.

Fucking LOVE those contacts why weren’t they a permanent part of her look as this version???

Highlight: Firefly Funhouse

---

NXT:

Ahh I love Dakota and Raquel’s matching colors.

Tbf, Dakota is a stepping stone, she just SHOULDN’T be cuz she’s way too good for that.

Dakota is so fucking scrawny. I really hope she isn’t just deemed a jobber on the MR. She needs to keep that speed up or bulk up a little.

lolol you know what Ember, you fucked around and ate a ringpost. Serves you right.

Nice armbar, Dakota. Now sit up and lock in the dis-arm-her (she won’t)

Dakota’s leading this match, peeped that call.

Ember’s suicide dive is so vicious. Like a missile straight up impaling her opponent.

LOL Dakota dodged the second. Again serves you right, the double suicide dive is Seth’s move.

Damn Dakota fucking NAILED her with that kick upside the head. You seeing stars Ember? Cuz you should be seeing stars. That was NOT a thigh slapper, that had an audible pop.

Yeahhh Dakota is absolutely the face in this match and you cannot tell me different. Ember’s arrogance is infuriating. Girl legit failed on the MR and she comes down there with an ego (in kf) tf outta here.

Love how people in nxt are constantly trying to use the Bank Statement but it NEVER looks as good as Sasha’s. Take a hint.

Love how Dakota utilizes these arm bars, that’s so random to me, has she always used submissions? Probably.

Why are we showing Ember dramatically hulk up like I care?

“This is Ember’s law” WHAT IS EMBER’S LAW FFS

HAHA atta girl Dakota, atta girl. That’s the homie, good for you. Fuck Ember’s law.

Shotzi PLEASE I could actually like you if you didn’t make me want to punch my 27″ monitor every time you fucking howled.

Also why you’d ever choose to face Toni over Rhea is beyond me but whatever.

This is not a whole new Toni Storm. You’re the friggin same. Ember has changed more than you and she didn’t even have a heel turn.

And why is the term ‘stepping stone’ being shoved down my throat this week?

Interesting that Io has chosen to tie things up with Rhea, but that’s to be expected. See now, if I was wwe, I would’ve called up Rhea immediately after this title match took place, but I already know that doesn’t happen.

Odd that they never show footage of Charlotte when they play back clips of In Your House. Triple h really that salty that she beat Rhea? Fuck man, Rhea needed that loss. Did her good.

Io: “I’m not afraid of Nightmare” I liked that.

“2020 has been complete trash,” what a babyface line by Rhea tbh.

Rhea idk when you’ll get to hold the gold again, but it’s not gonna be anytime soon. Your best hope is that you’ll win the Royal Rumble. Your second best hope is that they’ll move you to Raw and at some point in 2021, you can potentially make the Raw women’s championship meaningful again... what with it being devalued to hell since Becky left. Your realistic hope says maybe you can hold it by the time SummerSlam 2022 rolls around.

oof Shotzi’s big mad lmao. At least we skipped her lengthy entrance and that stupid howl.

Ohhhh nooooo Shotzi botched a vault like 20 seconds in. Oh man that wasn’t even just ugly, she fucking wiped out. Yikes. Yikes. Go back to the pc hun, practice that a couple dozen times more, cuz that’s the type of shit that’s gonna keep you down in nxt.

“you gotta wonder where [Shotzi’s] mind is” sure... sure...

Oh the tank’s a nod to her cousin in the military, interesting.

That cannonball was way too high anyway, Shotzi. You were never gonna make impact with that.

Holy shit Shotzi looks sloppy as fuck tonight. Usually it’s her ring work that I compliment, but good lord. Out here looking like the low card.

“Shotzi Blackheart just has not been herself so far in this one,” no this is practically a carry.

Yikes these restholds. Awful match. Do a Storm Zero and call it a night.

Christ and Shotzi fumbles on Toni’s Northern Lights Suplex. Mk.

“This match has certainly lived up to the hype” wow then y’all have LOW expectations.

No she didn’t get all of the ddt, and she could’ve ended her damn career with a dumb move like that for some throwaway tv match. Holy shit she’s such an extreme indie performer.

WOW so we sit through this long ass dreadful fuck up of a match, do a potential career ending move, then the ref just... stops counting cuz ???? and Candice pops up on screen just to get Shotzi’s attention. Hello? WHAT IS THIS TRAINWRECK. Negative 8 points to Shotzi and Candice (just because I don’t like Candice) and plus 3 to Toni for having to deal with this bullshit on her second match in nxt.

Dumb. Toni should’ve been counted out, and she should’ve been allowed to hit Shotzi with a finisher. Dumb.

lmao fuck that tank. I don’t even like Candice, either. gg. Plus 2 points.

I thought Toni was a heel? Lame. Negative 2 points for continuity.

If Xia says the letters from her family are personal, then they’re personal. Leave her the fuck alone, tmz.

Xia vs Raquel?? Lol good luck man.

Highlight: Dakota vs Ember

---

NXT UK:

Ah a squash match for Jinny, mk.

This girl looks ridiculous.

Nice impact on the Irish Whip into the corner.

Lol no selling Jinny’s stomps, ooookay.

Jinny has this aggressive wrestling style, but I feel like Bayley could toss her around lmao.

Someone give me a dollar every time Jinny calls her ‘stupid’ so I can buy a new car.

Kay so this James girl is hella athletic, that’s nice.

Rolling lightning kick? That’s your finish?? A recklessly blind heel kick while somersaulting??? Alllright, anyway.

lol plz, you’re no queen.

Ah yes a match I have ZERO interest in: Piper vs Jinny. Give KLR a squash match, I’m bored.

SPEAKING OF MY UK QUEEN

Jeeze look at KLR’s arms. Whew.

She’s so much more entertaining than the rest of the division, holy hell.

LOL KLR. Look at her sell that fear. What a fucking performer, goodbye. All the points to KLR.

Piper, KLR’s hair is way too fucking gorgeous for you to be pulling her around by it. The blatant disrespect. And you dare touch her title? Rude. RUDE.

Highlight: KLR existing

---

Smackdown:

Great video package but I have to highlight the way Sasha just sat there against the ropes staring at Bayley for what, 2 minutes? Before even acknowledging she had won the title. That was fantastic.

What’s funny is I watched their hiac match live cuz I wasn’t sure Sasha would actually win, but I never bothered with this one, because I KNEW Sasha’s curse had been broken. I knew it’d be against Bayley that she’d retain her title for the first time.

kekekek Bayley’s so fucking obnoxious.

Beautiful opening sequences. Not often can people do that particular sequence with Sasha, I think I’ve only seen Becky do it on the MR (could be mistaken)

Nice baseball slide while pulling Bayley’s ankle off the apron. Smooth af.

Jeeesus Bayley launched Sasha into the air just for Sasha to smack the apron and crash hard on the floor. Points to everyone.

Bayley playing gassed as if she’s actually tired, when we all know this girl’s stamina is aces above the rest.

Beautiful elbow drop to Bayley as she’s hanging off the apron.

Bayley sort of no sells the backstabber and goes for a messy Bayley to belly as Sasha counters into her Bank Statement. The idea for that sequence was there, the execution was not.

Oh shit Bayley hit her with the Eddie Guerrero swerve that didn’t pan out, and then popped a backstabber on her. Lmao nice.

Sasha kicks out of a Bayley to belly and flying elbow. Guess we’re showcasing her resilience as a champion. Solid.

Bayley’s so fucking fast. I love watching her wrestle when she’s not spending all of her time on the defense, holy shit.

Lmao now Bayley has her in the Bank Statement. Nobody does it like Sasha though, and there’s why.

Great match, great match. Real treat. Le curse is finally broken.

Peeped Sasha kicked her in the face on the apron, just as Bayley did when she turned on her. Nice storytelling. I enjoyed the in ring stuff with these 2, but holy shit I’m glad this feud’s over.

Man oh man do I hate Mella’s lipstick lol. I do, however, like her as Sasha’s first opponent.

Nattie: “I shouldn’t have been put in that triple threat match,” Also Nattie: “I think we should do a triple threat match,” Is ‘crazy cat lady’ ALWAYS going to be Nattie’s gimmick?

I really hate seeing other women besides Charlotte wearing Gucci, and I know that’s fucking insane but it is what it is.

This should’ve been on the show, wtf wwe. 

Do the commentators not know what’s fucking happening lol?

The speed of this is as if they were told they have 3 mins, make everyone shine.

Just watched a match where Charlotte hit a Natural Selection on Nattie while Nattie had the Sharpshooter applied to someone, and she bumped it perfectly. Why that Running Bulldog looked atrocious, I’ll never know.

Should’ve given me the video explaining why this match is happening. Did Sasha and Bayley go over time? Dumb that this was so rushed.

hahaha Nattie got fucked out of 2 svs team qualifying matches in a row. That’s hilarious.

Highlight: Bayley vs Sasha

---

*Raw shined the brightest as a whole, but Bayley vs Sasha was the star segment of the week.

[stargleeksil-blog]

Criminal Minds s04e08 Masterpiece - or that episode where I realize that Jason Alexander can also be a dramatic actor :O

Episode 08 – Masterpiece

Hey guys! So last time we were introduced to Henry Lamontagne! So happy! He’s so cute! Also, apparently Jordan is now officially taking over JJ’s post till she comes back from maternity leave … god, I have a bad feeling about this.

Let’s just see what happens.

I don’t like this.

I don’t like this at all.

There are bugs (the insects), and cameras, and then underground forgeries. That look like they belong in the Louvre, but I don’t get it.

I’m so confused here.

“Most of us have done extensive post-graduate work in areas such as abnormal psychology and sociology, as well as intensive study of relative case work and existing literature …”

“But that’s after selection to the unit. First you have to be an agent, work in the field, and that’s what we’re here to talk about.”

Aw, my poodle and Rossi are giving a seminar.

Wait. Is that Jason Alexander or am I conditioned to assume that any fat Jewish guy with a round face that looks like the moon is George Costanza?

“What did you study?”

“Criminal justice. But sports appreciation was all full up at my community college.” Oh my god, I love you so much, Rossi, he got his degree from a community college??? SO AMAZING!

“I hold doctorates in chemistry, mathematics, and engineering, as well as B.A’s in psychology and sociology.”

Oh my god!

“How old are you?” Oh my god! “Uh, I’m 27. As of last month, I turned 27.”

I love you, Spencer!

“I’m – I’m also completing an additional BA in philosophy. Which reminds me that I have a joke.”

“How many existentialist does it take to screw in a light bulb?”

Rossi whispering: “Don’t.”

“Two. One to change the light bulb and one to observe how it symbolizes an incandescent beacon of subjectivity in a netherworld of cosmic nothingness.”

Oh god, that was hilarious!

How can no one but me and Spencer get it????

“Um, an existentialist would …”

“Okay, before he does his quantum physics knock-knock joke …”

Oh god, I actually had to pause this cuz I laughed so fucking hard.

Oh my god, this show is literally the best thing out there. I don’t know why people at my job diss this.

Maybe cuz I’ve gone back in time, and it’s in season thirteen in the real world, but I don’t give a shit.

Their silence after the guy ask if they shot anybody. Oh my god.

Ha. Jordan is messing up. You can’t top JJ, sweetie.

Whoa. Derek just stepped to the rescue? I love you, but back off. You need to go to Penelope, baby.

Whoa. He’ll call the guy personally? Awesome.

Hey! Whoa! Back off bitch!

My angelface was just trying to help you, and you go after him like he just stepped on your turf like you’re in some West Side Story bullshit flick? Uh-uh. Back off.

Whoa. Okay. That just came off gangster. I’m sorry.

I’m a white girl from Israel, whose only connection to anything remotely “African” is that my late grandfather came from Egypt. Sorry, guys.

“Well, from now on, Supervisory Special Agent Morgan, if I need your help, I’ll ask.”

Bitch.

I really don’t like Jordan Todd. Not one bit.

“You do know we want them to actually join the bureau?” “What?”

“Existentialism?” oh god, Rossi making fun of Reid is the funniest thing ever.

And did that girl just seriously try to hit on Reid? Wow.

“I tell them I shouldn’t – they keep on sending me here.”

Oh my god.

“Wouldn’t they sit in the dark and hope that the bulb decided to light again?” “Excuse me?”

Yeah, excuse you, dude with a girl’s hair.

“An existentialist would never change the bulb. He would allow the darkness to exist.”

And that is definitely Jason Alexander and my excitement level just skyrocketed for this episode.

Reid’s impressed face, and Rossi’s all like, oh shit, who’s that guy? I’ll never get him down from the tree after this bozo.

So the guy lathers him with flattery, and is like, “I wanna show you something” and Reid’s like, sure.

And a second earlier Rossi was looking at his watch and he’s like, dude, we don’t have time for this shit. Come on.

Wait. Why did he just hand them a dossier with seven homicide victims’ pictures? What’s going on?

Wait. I’m sorry. But I can’t take Jason Alexander seriously if my life depended on it, yet here he is in one of, what I am assuming, his rare dramatic roles. What the fuck? How can you cast that shlump in a dramatic series? I’m dying here.

Acid?

“Are you saying that you killed these women?”

Wait what?

“There is still time to save the others, though.” WHAT?

“Others?”

“Five more.”

Oh my fucking god.

This just became the most awesome episode ever.

HAVE I MENTIONED THAT I FREAKING LOVE JASON ALEXANDER???? BECAUSE I FUCKING DO!

Mark Twain: “Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other. it will unriddle many riddles.”

Have I also mentioned that I fucking love Mark Twain? BECAUSE I DO!

“You’re my boss, correct?”

Er. Yes. But why are you being so aggressive, bitch?

“I report to you.”

Yup.

“Has my job performance been to your satisfaction, sir?”

“It seems fine.”

And yet you bitched at my honeybuns, so back off.

“And if it weren’t to your satisfaction, you’d tell me?”

No, I’d kick your tiny badonkadonk out of here.

“I can promise you that.”

“Because I can do this job.”

Nope.

“I’m sorry, has somebody suggested that you can’t?”

And lady, better check yourself, before I wreck yourself. Hey! No need to be a bitch to Prentiss, she only said hi.

“I’m missing the coroner’s supplemental for victim 3.”

“That’s supposed to come in this afternoon. I just turned that in last night. When do you sleep?”

I’m with Prentiss here.

Hahahah oh my god, I’m so with Hotch on this one, even to me it sounds ridiculous that he turned himself in and challenged Reid and Rossi. Lol.

Oh my god, David Rossi said “Something hinky”.

“It’s obviously tank girl.”

“Tank girl?” “Absolutamundo.”

Shit. Lynch is back. I hoped they broke up. Fuck.

“Is she even a good guy?” WHAT?

Lynch the Bitch, listen to yourself, ‘she’ and ‘guy’ don’t go in the same sentence, you idiot.

“Um, A. She’s not a guy at all. Big plus.”

“B. She is all about wild hair dye, flatulence, nose picking, spitting, explosive vomiting, occasional random sex, and more than occasional drunkenness.”

“And she has a tank.”

“And that, mon ami, is girl power.”

You said it, lady.

“Superman can fly.”

SO WHAT?

Oh god, this is going to be long. Fuck.

I’m so sorry, guys! Apologizing in advance.

“Thank you for the help with the … uh … stuff thing.”

See, that’s why I hate Lynch the Bitch, he’s trying to be all smooth, but it ain’t natural, and he’s trying to lie about being there, when everyone knows they’re together. And he’s being a douche. Fuck you.

“Kevin, you don’t have to lie.” See?

“Possible?”

Yup, your gorgeous ears heard correctly, lady.

“Kevin?”

“Yes, sir?”

“She’s busy now.” So get the fuck out.

So he isn’t a professor at the university they lectured at okay.

“Your degree in philosophy surprises me, Dr. Reid. It doesn’t fit with mathematics and engineering.”

“I kind of like it because there’s no right or wrong answers.”

“Without right or wrong, how would we recognize perfection?”

What?

“Are you having fun?”

“It’s quite a bit more complicated than that.”

How?

“You wouldn’t understand.” “Try me.”

Hey! Not nice, Jason! Why assume Rossi’s an airhead?

“I’ve read your books, David. You’re not of the intellectual capacity to grasp what’s going on here.”

WHAT? Oh my god, that was one major burn.

“If you’re trying to piss me off, it’s not gonna work. But if you killed seven women without leaving a trace of evidence, why turn yourself in?”

So much for ‘not of the intellectual capacity to grasp what’s going on here’ XD

“Imagine what the world would have missed if Da Vinci never showed his work.”

So he sees himself as an artist? Oh god, I wanna barf.

“Hey, how’s it going?”

“Why?”

FUCK YOU BITCH!

I’m about to slap that bitch in the face so hard, her brown, gorgeous skin would literally turn purple. I’m not kidding.

Fuck. The five Jason mentioned were the daycare lady and the four kids. Fuck.

“Are you pissed off yet, David?”

Oh god, I love this man so much, even if he’s the bad guy here.

“It’s not your fault, you know. Your IQ is your IQ. It’s not education, David, it’s genetics.” Oh my god, does he ever stop?

“What’s this?”

“I need to explain what a pendant it?” “What does it mean?”

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you.”

“You have the right to have an attorney present. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you.”

“Do you understand your rights …”

And then Jason keeps on interrupting to make fun of Rossi and provoke him. Love it.

BAM.

“Do you understand your rights?”

He doesn’t want a lawyer? Oh boy.

“Harming a person weaker than you doesn’t take any special ability.”

“Neither does slamming your fist down on a table.”

WHOA.

“Bring Dr. Reid back with you.”

Now you’re making demands?

“I never have any normal fans.”

Oh honey.

“This guy loves the attention.” Ahem.

“He has a god complex.”

Well, that’s true.

“We need a button to push.”

Oh god, I love it when the real good actors get to be the most prominent. Amazing.

What’s reverse profiling?

“From the unsub to the victim.”

Oh boy.

Crap. Morgan didn’t get anything. Fuck.

“You have to be fingerprinted to be a teacher.” Why?

Sounds sketchy.

“What kind of professor doesn’t teach?”

“A researcher? Someone on a grant, maybe.”

God, I hate that woman.

“There must be some sort of central grant database. I can’t imagine the government just handing out money and not ….” Looks around. “I’ll look into it.”

I love you!

“Psychopath.”

To say the least.

“Be nice to them.” HA.

Wait. Did Hotch just pair up Morgan and Jordan? FUCK.

Ah. So Rossi is a genius. He wants to play with Reid’s mind, so they’re not gonna let him have what he wants. Awesome.

“Ok, how far could he have gone from Loretto and make it back to Fredericksburg by noon? There must be some sort of mathematical equation to do this.”

“Should have paid more attention in algebra.”

“Note to self, get Dr. Reid in here ASAP.”

I love you so much.

An incoming email?

Oh shit.

Penelope just got an email with a video of the victim. Fuck.

“You have something going on more important than me?”

“My dry cleaning is more important than you.”

Oh burn.

“I think you’re just a big-mouth wannabe who doesn’t have the guts to do anything at all about this.”

LOL

Wait. Did he just admit he was at it for five years? DAMN.

Did he just flinch away from Prentiss?

“A god like you doesn’t have a problem with women, does he?”

Oh crap.

They got him.

“Hiding in the weeds like a snake.”

Yup.

When it comes to women, he’s just a nervous bunny.

“Rules?”

Oh boy.

“Two o’clock.”

“And then there were four.”

WHAT?

Wait what?

“Every two hours, one of them will die.”

SHIT.

“Is there something else I need to know?” “Only that I’m rooting for you, David.”

Oh, Jason is a GENIUS actor! Fuck! He’s literally scaring the shit out of me.

And yes, I’m aware that I’m only 20 minutes into the episode. And no, I’m not sorry for making this the fucking longest review ever.

“There were four when I went to go get you.” Fuck.

“Well, maybe the gas provides another purpose.”

“Such as?”

Oh my innocent honeybun.

“It’s a chess game, he’s two moves ahead.” Shit.

Wait. David thinks he’s making progress? Then that’s good, right?

Hey! Whoa!

David. Calm down.

Hotch was just making a suggestion. Not a slight at your intelligence. Baby, relax.

Calmate.

Yeesh. Chillax.

I really don’t like Jordan. I really fucking don’t.

She just puts herself apart from the team and it’s not right.

And then Morgan tries to show her that she is now, and it’s fucking driving me insane, because she’s one bitch that I can’t stand. And I don’t normally do this to members of the FBI who join the team. Well, okay, I did it with Lynch, but once again, only because he was in my ship’s way.

“Do you know that I was born with an extra y chromosome?”

So?

“It means… I was born to be a killer.”

WHAT?

That makes no sense.

No wonder Rossi finds this funny.

“That’s junk science, a joke. It was debunked years ago.” I love you, Rossi.

“If those people die, it’s because you chose to make it happen.”

Word to mouth!

So that lady is an airhead, like I assumed.

Morgan just talked to her in the car, and she took nothing from it? REALLY?

He wants to talk to the husband, because men respond better to men. It’s basic. Ugh.

Hells yeah. It’s a fucking weird position to leave toys in.

My lovely genius.

“I know where to find them.”

WHOA!

“It’s an irrational number known as ‘phi’.”

“It’s based on the ratio of line segments to each other and of the whole.”

What?

“It’s called the golden ratio.”

“Golden rat.”

Yup. That’s the website.

“It’s a ratio found all through life. In fact, many people that we find conventionally attractive are proportioned based on that ratio.”

Damn.

“He made a reference to Leonardo Da Vinci, remember this?”

“Da Vinci used it in a lot of his paintings. As matter of fact, the Last Supper …”

“Reid, Reid, how do we find them?”

Yup. Hotch once again stopping my genius poodle’s tirade of infinite knowledge to get to the point XD

“The whole concept is represented by this pendant, including the logarithmic spiral created using a Fibonacci sequence. Follow me on this.” XD

“He’s subconsciously counting off the Fibonacci sequence in his head over and over again.”

Oh crap.

I love it when Spencer goes off on explanations that eventually prove he’s the most genius of geniuses to ever genius this earth, and then they find the victims.

WHOO!

Whoa. Hey. Hotch is taking Reid and Prentiss? Not Rossi? Weird.

“There’s still something bugging me about this.”

Why?

“Do you know what homo sapiens sapiens mean? It means man, wise, wise …”

“We named ourselves doubly wise.” Wow.

“Humans are a blight.”

What? “You hate humanity?”

“Every bit as much as you do.” What?

I’m really confused here. It was all because Rossi’s books mentioned that there is pure evil out there? Oh dear.

“Any man who feels that the only way to have power or purpose is to hurt others deserves pity.”

Wow.

“You may have your vengeance, as I am about to have mine.”

WHAT?

“They’re never going to make it out of that house, David.”

Oh dear.

“It is about your team.”

WHAT? NO!

Fuck you, asshole!

“The minute they stepped into that house, they were dead.”

Oh god no.

“You lose.”

Oh god.

Oh shit. The man Rossi called “the face of pure evil” is actually that fucker’s brother? Oh god.

So he had a fiancé, who broke it off with him, because of that fucking brother. Oh boy.

“Vengeance.”

Oh god.

“I killed twelve people, ‘cause of you.”

Wow. Okay, this review is long, and the finale is going to be long too. Prepare thyself.

“You took my family. I take yours.”

Oh dear.

“Did you get all that?” WHAT?

“Every word, boss.”

Oh snap!

They fucking recorded him! Oh my god.

Wait. Hold up. So they knew it was all a ruse? Reid figured out everything? They saved Kaylee and the kids? Derek is still alive? Oh thank fucking fuck!

“You’ll only face murder charges on the original seven women.”

“With no evidence.”

‘Yeah. You, uh, mentioned that when we first met, that we would never be able to get you on those. But I think you’ll discover that the videotaped confession has the power to move a lot of jurors.” BOOM.

YOU DO NOT SNEAK UP ON ROSSI!

Crazy Henry. Ugh.

“I’m going to be there when they strap you down for that lethal injection. And just before they hit the plunger, I’m going to lean in really close and tell you to say hello to your scumbag brother.” DAMN.

So Jordan apologizes to Derek, and he takes the blame? OH MY GOD THIS MAN IS IMPOSSIBLE!

Oh my god, this woman is driving me up the walls! Someone kick her in the shins!

“This is going to be interesting.”

Uh, no, poodle. It’s going to be annoying as fuck.

Jason looks so majestic here. Even though he’s being led to the execution. Damn.

Martin Luther King Jr.: “Man must evolve for all human conflict; a method which rejects revenge, aggression, and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.”

LOVELY!

Okay. Whew. That was fucking intense. Holy shit.

Okay, so first off the bat, I HATE JORDAN TODD SO MUCH! Just had to put it out there.

Now, about Jason Alexander, holy shit that man is amazing, I can’t believe such an actor actually exists, where he can be this genius comedian on the one hand, and then this brilliantly dramatic actor who can assume any persona of the role he’s undertaking, and it was just breathtaking to watch him and Joe Mantegna working together. I was literally on the edge of my seat.

I literally cannot wait to see what else this season has in store.

So, I’m gonna cut this short, because this review has just exceeded the 3,000 word mark, and that is seriously long – I haven’t written fanfiction chapters this long in a while. Yikers.

So, I’ll leave it here, say THANK YOU because you are all amazeballs. And enjoy the photos that didn’t make it into the post above XD

[punk-rock-pixie]

1-96 you fucker

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

Usually closed

(2) Do You Have Freckles?

Yes! Many actually!

(3) Can You Whistle?

Not well, but yes

(4) Last Song You Listened To.

It was something by streetlight manifesto 

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

FUCK DUDE I NEVER KNOW

(6) Relationship Status.

Single as fuuuuuuuck

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

According to snapchat it is 76 F

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?

Yes because I had an alarm that gave me a fucking heart attack

(9) How Many Followers?

Like.... 800-something

(10) Zodiac Sign.

Scorpio

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

Hazel

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?

Nope. No meds either

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

Fuckin always

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

Hyperbole and a half for like the millionth time!

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

There is no line 14. It’s Hyperbole and a half

(16) Favourite Anime?

D. Gray-Man

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

My mum I think???? 

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

Guitar picks lmao

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

I didn’t really have lunch, more than like a collection of snacks

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

Only if I have someone with me

(21) Favourite Animal?

Cats

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

Not really

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

Because it is holiday now, usually about 1:00 am

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

Nope. Not today. Usually I do my eyebrows and basic contour though.

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

I prefer a pool cuz it’s closer.

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

I think it goes without saying @thebootydiaries

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

Tap is cheaper

(28) What Makes You Happy?

Playing guitar, singing loudly

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

Just killed the third god damn spider from my shower drain.... 

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

With AF

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

Both???

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

PlayStation

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

Ocean because the last lake I swam in was eh

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

Boi I practice magic

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

Grey. It’s a Ninja Sex Party shirt

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?

Yeet

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

Currently saving actually!

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

A picture of Padparadscha I drew as well as my rose quartz healing crystal

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

Crankgameplays, Hamilton, Animal Crossing New Leaf, Crazy Ex Girlfriend

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

No, but I have caught a fuck ton of moths

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

I think it depends on the situation

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

Very often, yes

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

Not entirely. I don’t like traveling somewhere, but I love being in the destination

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

BOOK OF LIFE

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

Neither tbh? I don’t like either that much.

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

Fleetwood Mac, Streetlight Manifesto, or Green Day

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

A lotta the time, yes, but I will at least TRY new things

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

On some days, the small meowing of my cats wake me up, sometimes I sleep through our fire alarm

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?

No. I really love storms tbh

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

I like to write. Reading gives me anxiety a lot of the time. 

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?

Sometimes yes

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

Carve pumpkins SO MUCH

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

Well, currently I am listening to pandora on shuffle... Currently, “Ah, Christine!” from Love Never Dies is playing. The story sucks, but the production and music of it is very good. 

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

Summer. Which means so MANY FUCKING BUGS

(56)What Are You Craving Right Now?

Thai food from the place next to where I work, and a lotta affection

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

I’m lazy

(58) What Is Your Gender?

Honestly, I’m a trans boi

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

Tea

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

I’m not taking any online courses this summer so yeet

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

I don’t know. I mean... I’m mostly into boys, but idk there were like three times where I liked someone who identified as a girl.

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

Not usually

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

I’m just gonna do my party Mimikyu, any of the Shinx evolutions, Lucario, any Rowlet evolution, Altaria and Arcanine! (and people should like totally draw me with my faves at some point if they wanted to lmao)

(64) Favourite Social Media?

Honestly, I think youtube.... ANYTHING OTHER THAN THIS SITE 

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

I don’t use them often

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

Nope

(67) Are You A Virgin?

In terms of Rocky Horror Picture Show, no. In terms of sex, yes.

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

Head and shoulders for shampoo, some coconut oil blend for conditioner. 

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

Probably a motel

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

Yes.

(71)  Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

FUCK DUDE IDK WHAT’S OUT RN

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?

NOPE. FUCK ALL OF THEM. Save for 2. Two of them were decent. 

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

“FUCK ME RAY BRADBURY” - Rachel Bloom

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?

Hazel and Brown tbh????

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

FUCK YEAH. AND I STILL DO!

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

Uhhhhh shit idk. graham crackers I think?

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

Magic Carp Jump, Tap Tap fish, aaand that’s it????

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

No, because I am not certified to do so. I’d get help though!

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

You fuckin know it!

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

You.... fuckin know it. Not like terribly, but I occasionally go through my followers’ accounts

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

Sometimes It’s fine. Other times I am terrified

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

Nope cuz I’d play with them too much

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

Closed

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

Went to do some volunteering at city hall, went to work, went to the gym

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?

Usually just boxers or something because it is hot as fuck lately

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

Concealer, foundation, primer, eyeshadow.... I have too many so like????

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

IM BACK TO BEING  A NIGHT PERSON

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

OH BOI THAT WILL TAKE TOO LONG

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

I had a dream I was with Crankgameplays, my friend Nate, and @dreamxng-forever This was recently too. Like, a few days ago. We were hanging out and Nate and Sarah were shipping me with Ethan. Then we were in a ceremony for something and I was staring blankly. Ethan turned to me and asked if I was okay, and while still very monotone and blank I said, “You know this is just a fucking dream....” 

Ethan: “what?”

Me: “This is just a dream and I could wake up at any point.”

(my alarm clock goes off while I’m dreaming)

Me: Womp... There it is. Gotta blast. FUUUUCKIN KILL MEEE.....

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?

I don’t like soda

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

I really like the sound of a C7 chord, some people’s voices, the dinging of a timer meaning my food is ready. Some people’s laughs. 

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

I mean I wear both about the same

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?

Like absolute garbage

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.

Hot baths

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?

I want little black stars and planets on my forearm

(96) Favourite YouTuber?

YOU MAY OR MAY NOT KNOW CUZ I LIKE TO KEEP IT SUBTLE BUT @crankgameplays I KNOW IT IS SOOO SUBTLE YOU PROBABLY DIDN’T KNOW LMAO

[spotlightsaga]

Kevin Cage of @spotlightsaga reviews... Drag Race (S09E07) 9021-HO Airdate: May 5, 2017 Ratings: 0.694 Million :: 0.3 18-49 Demo Share Score: 9/10 **********SPOILERS BELOW********** Ever had a really terrible day where your whole world is ripped apart? That was my day yesterday... And even though I've already watched '9021H0' & 'Ru Paul's Roast' (and purposefully have avoided writing reviews), I thought it was Friday... Or was wishing it was... As was like Please, GOD, get me home so I can watch these Drag Race bitches so they can lift me up, because lorrrrrd... I'm falling apart. I'm a struggling writer with two degrees taking whatever work I can get freelance writing, working at well known South Florida Bar on the weekends (and that job along with the 5 hour total commute a day through the dredges of Miami is killing me)... But Spotlight Saga is my baby, every dollar I make in everything goes to making this existential media online mag dream come true, and it is not cheap. I hate to turn this all about, 'ME ME ME ME MEEEEE' as Valentina would croon, but I gotta have my Alexis Michelle moments too and I really need my place where I can just let everything out and connect with you all... Avid fans of the show, readers of everything Spotlight Saga, and all the people at 'World of Wonder' and the contestants of the show that will see what I will say next. For almost two weeks, I have everyone in Miami saying, 'I'M ON SPEED TOO!', 96% have no idea what they're referencing but lawd, Trinity girl... And really all the contestants who made this episode such a success really have gotten me through a tough time through dealing with 3 deaths in the past week... And a sudden realization that my fight for Nina's treatment on the show was a reflection was something I was feeling at work and in life. I identify with you, Nina, because just like you, I'm talented, deal with with depression, and am a little bit crazy, girl. All your struggles that we see stripped down to the bone, especially on WOW's 'Untucked' don't go unnoticed. And I'm always here with open arms if you need me. You are beautiful, you are talented, and are going to get you some acting classes! Again, Drag Race & Untucked is my last living connection to the 'Gay World', and even though some of you shits send me death threats after I critique this show, it really is one of the only positive experiences in Gay Culture I have left. I love that we start out '9021HO' with the girls going back to the workroom, Alexis finally celebrating a well deserved win, Nina admitting her issues with getting in the way of her success, Shea Couleé delivering the 'I'ma lift you up in church and put you on the cross and crucify your ass if you don't do you and stop this mental block you throw up that keeps you from succeeding (Not only does Nina need to hear that, so do I - You are a perfection Shea), and Trinity 'The Tuck' Taylor giving us that true Floridian 'Another one down, now the real bitch can prove it's her town' Florida 'Suit of Armor' bit. Start your engine, mother fuckers... Ru enters the workroom and announces that Jenny Garth & Tori Spelling will be the guest judges for the upcoming challenge... And that the contestants will be transporting back to 1993 putting on their version of '9021HO'... Notable, because Farrah Moan announces that was the year he was born... Alex's face is priceless, 'You were born in 93?' That was my reaction to finding out that the barback at my weekend job telling me he was born in 2000! Do you know the debauchery I was knee deep 'In the yeaaaaaar 2000000000!' Ru takes Alex's reaction up an even larger notch (cuz shhh, Ru is much older - not that Ru ages) 'Im gonna fucking fuck you up!' Peppermint won the lip sync, I'm sorry... BURNED THAT LIP SYNC DOWN TO THE MOTHER FUCKING GROUND, so Ru gives her the honor of leading the group an assigning the roles... An honor that's both a curse and a blessing. Peppermint takes the high ground and asks the contestants what roles they feel the most right for, and really tries to give everyone the role they not only want, but feel the comfortable in. Cant please everybody, especially when there's pressure to perform at your highest ability, Aja has a meltdown from hell after being cast as Grandrea... But Peppermint isn't having it. Bitch we love you, but if you don't know want the role and are going to bring that kind of attitude to the production, Shea will gladly take the role she doesn't really want and make it one of the best in the show... That's kind of what she does. And I know that Aja was regretting this one later. Those cameras are on you almost 24/7, so if you have a meltdown like that, not only are they going to feature it prominently on the show, they are going to throw it up in your face when it comes time to face the music. I have it paused on Aja's 'reaction face'... Baby, if we are to be wed, this isn't the face you should ever make again. Alex is quick to click, 'You're going to have to grow up and accept the challenge.' Queens, going forward, if Shea gladly accepts the role you don't want, worry, she will take it, make it, and easy fucking bake it... And you don't want that coming up on the runway. Garth & Spelling introduce themselves and get to work... Its a bit like Snatch Games some contestants are automatically killing it (Trinity Taylor, Valentina, Shea Coulee), some need a bit of direction but are able to take it like pros and turn it in to magic (Alexis Michelle takes notes and follows the lead of Garth & Spelling, and for the most part Farrah - she just takes a bit longer than others, but hey, that's part of her charm, and Sasha Velour who didn't do bad, but didn't do great either), and then there are the those that bombed (Aja, Nina, Peppermint).... And there's nothing worse than watching these Queens on Drag Race bomb. Despite the criticisms I get for reviewing this portion of the show (God, get me to Untucked), I grow attached to all these contestants and want everyone to succeed, sometimes despite themselves. We all get in our way sometimes, and rather than seeing everyone bomb I want to Ru Paul to be put in a position where she doesn't know who to put in the top, the bottom, or even make safe... I want to everyone to shine. Everything is taped, the editing begins, and the queens prepare for a sick runway... You know what that means... Your VH1 mandated Drag Race workroom therapy sessions (I'm sure WOW is like, can we just do things our way, PLEASE... Are the ratings really that much different from Logo's, especially on a Friday Night.) The Queens talk prom, Alex has a pic of he and his date at prom in full drag... Alexis Michelle haters, can you please give this bitch some credit... That's an act of a true pioneer, that takes balls, and if you don't have balls, it takes gumption. Valentine was prom king... Perfection isn't surprising with this one. Now I am already a huge Trinity Taylor fan, this is a Florida bitch... Its hot down here and we have to put up with craziest people in the world, and if they're not born here they migrate from literally all over the world to bring their crazy to one huge hodgepodge of sweltering, alligator 'rasslin, porta-potty lighting on fire and tippin' insanity. It takes a special kind of crazy to survive the Everglades, bitch. Hearing Trinity's story about quitting the last two years of high school to take care of his grandmother touched me, especially since my partner of 11+ years had to do the same after his mother died at age 7 and his 5 sisters abandoned him to live with and take care of his father who turned into a scared and lonely, verbally and emotionally abusive man who eventually was taken by cancer in his final hours as my partner was robbed of his high school experience. If there was one thing I could change in this world, it isn't to take that experience that ultimately made him stronger in life and one of the most loyal and amazing men I have ever had the pleasure of knowing... Not to mention a loving, dedicated caretaker and lover who sticks by me through all my bullshit, self-destructive behavior, depression, and dependence issues over the years... But to go back and just sit next to him while he has to endure it, just so that someone else was there. Trinity, the next time you are in Miami, we would like to offer you the full Prom experience. I'm not sure Ginger Cubs are your thing, but my partner is certainly not that... So you get the best of both worlds, and my offer is real. I live on Collins in Miami Beach so 'The Prom' experience is something we can definitely give you in full, the 305 'White Boys in a Cuban World' version anyway... Followed by a senior trip and the whole nine. And I totally agree with Alex, I also truly believe those we've lost are there, watching, carrying us, picking us up when we need to get the fuck up off the floor... Even if we can't see them, 'cause god knows we can feel them. Runway Time!!! Ru is ready with 90's pastel, looking mighty, like a Queen who owned the 90s... Oh she was? And the 80s? And the 00's and the 10's too... Oh, that's right! This outfit reminded me of that, silly me! The makeup is a bit, uhm, off... But we're going to act like the makeup and the wig are flawless... oh we're not? Ok. Category is... Big Hair, Everywhere! Valentina... What were you guys expecting? Anything less than perfection? Diana Ross was her inspiration and it reads, but I wanted some early, EARLY 90's touch to this runway, and this is reading 70's. Farrah Moan, Crushed it. When Farrah doesn't stand out in challenges, she's there on the runway making grown men weep. Trinity Taylor, I love her everything, she can do no wrong, and if there is wrong, I'm sure it was someone else. This look is sick, and Trinity's voiceovers just make every step on the runway that much more entertaining. Top 3 at the end or bust. Sasha Velour... Big hair is inspiring a life of 70's/80's looks and yes 'Sid ate Nancy' is perfect. Fuck it, this look is sick, no complaints and anyway punk is forever Brooklyn. Peppermint... Again with the 70's, but hey... No one said '90's twist' so I guess I should stfu. Peppermint looks ready for Studio 54, and she's jumping the line, baby. Nina... YASSSSSSS, see this is what I'm talking about. Even if Nina bombed the challenge look at this early 90's Club Kid inspired runway with a Banana Fana Fo'Fina twist, that paint, RAWR. Shea Couleé... OK. Did someone say milkshake earlier? This is one of my favorite looks. Alexis Michelle... Big Hair, Floating in the water... Oh my! Not only does Alexis give us Disney Villain realness, she also ties it in to the mirror character she played. This is a winning look. Period. Aja... I like it... This is one of her better looks and there is definitely a progression throughout the show in terms of growth in the runway. It's just hard to follow Alexis Michelle... But it's hard to deny that Aja didn't do exactly what the judges asked of her here and more. 9021-HO... Living for this intro. Nina & Peppermint open, neither one dazzle, but this is not Nina's challenge. They immediately introduce them to Shea's 'Grandrea' and it's lights out. The divide is widening, and I'm not talking about Michelle Visage 🙃. Valentina & Farrah rock, the edits are surprisingly strong for Farrah, but Valentina could outshine the sun. Sasha Velour looks like Alaska Thunderfuck & Sharon Needles had a baby and left it home by itself. If Sasha had turned the volume up, she could've been in the top, what stopped her from taking this to the next level?! Trinity, my God, this performance has gotten me through the roughest two weeks in my life as of late... And if you pause the show at any point in the prom, there is not a frame that doesn't include Trinity Taylor that won't have you on your knees, laughing until you cry. The lip sync... A classic. Let's be honest, CeCe Peniston's 'Finally' had a much larger reach than the gay community... It was an electronic music classic, it was gay club classic, and even remixed to perfection for rave and club scenes throughout the 90's and early 00's. YES, Aja has made incredible strides and growth throughout the season, but Nina took that lip sync down to the river. It is what it is. Cheers to one of the best episodes of Drag Race to originally air on VH1. Now, excuse me while I catch the fuck up!

[prettyskieschubbythighs]

Can i borrow your notes?

Jimin Fan Fic 

It was late in the evening when I got a text from my classmate Jimin. He was an odd one id have to say but maybe it was because we had just started talking to each other. I’m sure he’ll open up soon but I’ll admit he is gorgeous and I may have thought of him pressing me against the wall a few times during class and don’t even get me started with his music.

Jimin: Hey Y/N, sorry to disturb you but as you noticed was away today so I would like to know if you happen to have taken down notes in the Dance             Appreciation and History lecture this morning? You wouldn’t mind if I borrowed them would you?

I giggled to myself and responded;

YOU: Hi Jimin, you totally disrupted my Friday afternoon Disney move marathon! Ugh shame on you, though I did happen to take notes in todays’ lecture. Will cost you though J

Jimin: HAHA. Oh gosh I am soo sorry. Money?

You: I’ve got enough of that…Jks but no

Jimin: hmmmm…

Jimin: You free tonight?

You: depends ;)

Jimin: I’ll take that as a yes then. Meet me in front of campus at 6. See you soon :)

I didn’t notice myself drifting out of reality until my apartment door slammed shut. My roommate Anastasia came sulking through the lounge room and flopped down on the couch next to me, obvious that she had had a bad day.

“Yo” you chuckle pushing away your thoughts of Jimin and the night ahead.

“Hey…” She sighs. When I ask what’s wrong with her she explains that she and her boyfriend had been arguing about how V kept getting messages from other girls.

“Boys will be boys and I’m sure that those girls meant nothing to him. You are the best girlfriend he could ever have and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Ok?” I winked at her followed on to tell her about your plans tonight.

“Jimin?! As in THE Park Jimin from uni?” She stuttered with a big ‘O’ forming on her dark purple puckered up lips.

“Yes. The only Jimin is our class, idiot.” I chuckled.

“So you’re meaning to tell me that while my boyfriend is being a total dick you’re going out with the hot, smart already famous performer in our class. You lucky bitch!” We both cracked up laughing purely for different reasons.

“It is a sophisticated student meet up just to exchange notes NOT a date, ok?” I sighed but she was quick to respond.

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you in class. His eyes trailing up and down ALL the way down your body when you stand up to do speeches in class. Very ‘sophisticated’.”

Shocked I didn’t know how to respond maturely to that. “Bullshit. He does not. You’re just making shit up now”. Your voice was getting louder as you felt the heat rise up to your cheeks.

“He sure does, there’s no point in avoiding it. Oh and don’t even get me started with how he stares at you in night clubs. Focused on your hips as they sway with the beat and that slim fitted black dress you always wear. Something was definitely happening to him down there” She so normally exclaimed.

To avoid further embarrassment I ended the conversation really quickly. “Pshh. Nah. Well, I hear the shower calling my name! See ya!” I ran to my bedroom and locked my door as Anastasia was shouting things from the other side of it. Flushed and embarrassed, I sat on the other side of the door and I could feel pulses rushing through my lower body. None of that could be true. There was no way Jimin could like me over the cuter girls in the class anyway, but the thought of Jimin being even remotely turned on from me is making my head feel light and dizzy.

After my shower, I got dressed in my favourite black lace lingerie (just in case), my short black midriff and skinny jeans. I paired my outfit with some gold hoop earrings and my black platform boots. I did a black smokey eye with gold pigment on the lid to harmonise with my jewellery and draw attention to my eyes.  After looking at myself in the mirror once more I bid my farewells to Anastasia before driving happily to my University campus.

After driving through the city for 10 minutes or so I cruise through the student carpark and saw Jimin waiting for me with a light smile plastered on his face not so far away. While walking towards him I slowed down at the sight of him leaning against his car eyes closed daydreaming about things out of my knowledge. He was suited up in a pair of black ripped jeans and a white linen shirt. I’ve never really taken too much notice about his facial features. I continue walking closer and his face hardens at the sight of me, showing need and restraint. His jaw tenses revealing his slightly sculpted cheekbones. Large smokey eyes swallowed you whole and I could feel my knees giving in under just his hard looks. I stopped walking closer noticing the closing gap between us.

Stepping back with a slight pink blush to my cheeks I greeted him. “Good evening Mr Park”

“Well hello daydreamer. Wanna get any closer, you can see me better from this angle” He demonstrated with his face coming close to yours and head tilted slightly down to look directly at your eyes. He smirked at your reaction and ran a hand through his newly dyed, light pink hair. “Gosh aren’t I just irresistible?” He cracked up laughing like a fool.

I punched him in the arm and laughed at him as if saying ‘No you aren’t’ but I had gotten really close to him previously so, to be honest, he was right, I should’ve stopped myself. He then went on to explain that we were going to Japanese for dinner. He also asked if I should give him the notes now or after dinner.

With my cheeks flushing a brighter shade of red he said “So I’m guessing you came here and forgot the notes at home? Well someone was so excited to see me but forgot the real substance as to why they were actually asked to come” He smirked and at that moment I knew I was playing with the devil himself.

I jumped back and responded “Umm no way man! I was just- umm-“

He cut me off and chuckled “Sure Y/N, let’s get going” He ushered me towards his black sports car and shut the door for me like a polite gentleman. What just are you Jimin? The quiet boy in class, the cocky boy that plays with my feelings or the gentleman you are now?

In the passenger seat, I changed the radio station until they played one of Jimin’s hit singles ‘Lie’. I couldn’t help but squirm in my seat restraining myself from dancing and my head swung back when I sang along to the chorus with Jimin’s recording.

Jimin let out a deep groan in the driver seat next to me “If you keep singing like that how am I supposed to focus on the road?” He looked at me through his mirror and I bit my lip and looked down. That noise was enough to send electricity throughout my whole body, so sexy. “Sorry, I just love your song so much that I’m always dancing to it at home” I giggled and he sighed saying ‘thankyou’.

“I worked really hard on it. The song means a lot to me and so does your feedback, I’m glad you like it” The light smile on his face sent flutters to my chest. What was happening to me?

We laughed and told stories throughout the night at the high-class Japanese restaurant that I clearly wasn’t dressed appropriate for, standing out like a clown.

“You know in class, how you like, sit in front of me?” He said while taking sips from his cocktail. It had been our second round of drinks and it had taken its toll on my brain and I was feeling more relaxed than usual.

“Yes? What about it?” I answered following with a question back at him curiously.

Openly, he said, “Well idk if you do it on purpose but- wait what was I saying?” His hands came to his temple thinking intensively “Oh yeah. Well, one day you had this short top on like the one you’re wearing now but you complemented it with this long skirt that hung low on your waist and like- did you know you have like these 2 cute dimples on your lower back?”

I stared straight at me for a couple of seconds before cracking up laughing. Taking another sip from my glass Rosé I said “Of course I knew that I have dimples on my back, you idiot. And besides, why were you looking that far down anyway?” I pressed to see if Anastasia’s theory was true.

Honestly, he replied, “Umm, cuz’ you’re hot.” He leant further into his chair, one arm around the chair and the other holding his cocktail glass to his plump, inviting lips. I turned my head to the side to prevent myself from giggling like a teenager who has been kissed for the first time; besides he was clearly tipsy did he mean it? “Do you wanna head back now? You can drive behind me to my house and well go through my notes cus’ it’s like still only 8”

“Yeah. Good idea. Well, actually, bad idea since we're both over the drinking limit. Can’t drive so well catch the train instead” I agreed with him and he insisted on playing and we both walked to the station together leaving the cars in a safe car park.

The train trip wasn’t long so we got to my station in no time. As we were walking up the hill towards my house, my feet started to flop around sure to the excruciation pain my heels were giving me. Jimin noticed my trouble and snaked his arm around my waist and brought my arm around his muscly shoulders. I looked up at his caring smile and snuggled my face close to his neck whispering ‘thankyou’. The comfort of being in Jimin’s arms is like I have known him forever; I could be in this position all day.

At home, Jimin and I were watching a movie instead of studying since we were both tipsy and couldn’t concentrate. When we first got home we tried to look through the notes but Jimin kept complain of boredom so we just had to fix that didn’t we.

“Truth” I blurt out from the mattress on my bed.

“Are you into me at all?” His tone was stern but his face remained calm. We were playing truth or dare for the last few minutes because the movie had stopped and we were both bored.

“Hmmm. Do I have to answer that?” I sat my head on my hands propped up on my elbows staring at him with a smile.

“Yes” Stubborn shit.

“Well then yes.” My face fell down onto the mattress to cover my embarrassment.

He chuckled and stood up to come lie next to me. “Fine then, your turn. Truth”

“Hmm...” As you were thinking you shifted yourself on the mattress to face Jimin, you stared at each other with little space in between. “If I asked right now, would you kiss me?” I closed my eyes, backed up a little bit to give him space to think and my teeth tugged on my bottom lip. I was so turned on but there was no way I was going to show it. A little more teasing is my number 1 priority at the moment.

“You wouldn’t even need to ask. I could already tell you wanted me to from when you first saw me tonight. Dressed revealingly and constantly biting your bottom lip, oh gosh don’t get me started with your singing in the car. I’ve been holding myself back all night and that is a long time” He pulls me back with one arm so I can face him again looking straight at him.

“You figured it out huh. Smart kids these days huh?” You smirked and got up from the bed, Jimin’s hand trailing down your hips as you left. “I need to put my pj's on” I took this opportunity as an advantage by pulling my shirt over my head revealing my black lace bra. Keeping my pants on, I slipped my silk night dress on taking my jeans off only after I’m fully covered. I continue folding my clothes and sing ‘House of Cards’ by BTS before turning around to face Jimin. His face straight and eyes seeing right through your white silk dress.

“Fuck” he groaned

You walked closer towards him and asked if he wanted to stay over tonight.

“Yes, god damn” he moved across the bed to make room for you. You slipped in one leg slowly at a time and slid down flat. Your hand moved to turn the lamp off and you tumbled towards Jimin’s side sliding one of your legs over his and whispered.

“Goodnight Park Jimin” smiling, your eyes started to close and you rubbed your silk on his bare leg a bit before sleeping.

“Goodnight” Jimin spoke with a monotone voice obvious to be sexually frustrated. Oh well, he wasn’t going to get help with that yet. Not today.

[sillystringlouis]

girl please answer all of those 1D questions. all of them

Bless you. Thank you.1: When did you first realize how much you love One Direction? November of 2013

2: Who's your favourite and why? Niall. He’s just made of sunshine. I love his voice. I love that he contributes his guitar playing to the band. I love that he’s everyone in the bands’ best friend. I love how much he cares. I also love that he’s been open with his struggles with things like claustrophobia. I love that he makes sure to tell us how he is. I love so much about Niall.

3: Who's your least favourite and why? Can I say Zayn? Cuz he’s been a bit of a dick since he left the band.

4: Name four things that remind you of your favourite. Sunshine. Guitars. Harry Potter. Anything Irish.

5: What do your friends and family think of your love for One Direction? They’ve accepted it lol. But sometimes judge me for it.

6: What's your earliest One Direction related memory? Well my earliest clear memory is Leakycon 2013 when I was ragging on my friends for loving 1D so much. I wasn’t a fan for the first couple years, I’ll be honest. 

7: Are you sometimes embarrassed of liking the boys? Hell no. You gotta love what you love, man. 

8: Do you like the boys mainly for their music? Yes. It’s fun. And listening to their music, giving it a chance, is how I started liking them. 

9: What's your favourite tattoo on each of the boys? Oh god. I don’t even know anymore. I’ve lost track of their tattoos. Lets go with the screw for all of them. Because cute.

10: What's your 1D order? Niall, Harry, Louis, Liam, (Zayn)

11: Name three of your favourite funny moments. Bro I don’t even know anymore. They make me giggle too often to pick 3. 

12: What are your five favourite songs? Never Enough, Walking In The Wind, Fireproof, Where do Broken Hearts Go, Don’t Forget Where You Belong. But ask me tomorrow and they might be different. I love so many of their songs so much.

13: What's your favourite album and why? Made In The AM. I loved how much they wrote themselves of the album. And I love how chill of an album it is. 

14: Is there a One Direction song that makes you cry? I used to cry during Little Things. But not so much anymore.

15: Is there a One Direction song that you can't stand at all? Would people kill me if I said What Makes You Beautiful? Because yeah. No thank you.

16: Favourite music video? Drag Me Down

17: Least favourite music video? You and I

18: What's your favourite hairstyle on Harry? I’m a sucker for his long hair. He rocked it.

19: What's your favourite hairstyle on Zayn? AMAs. That ONE TENDRIL OF HAIR FALLING DOWN. Y’all know what I’m talking about.

20: Do you get nostalgic over fetus One Direction or do you think they're hotter now? Hotter now. I’m a fucking 23 year old woman. No fetus 1D please.

21: Which of the boys would you want to get drunk with? All of them, TBH. Depends on what I was looking for. If I wanted to get drunk and CHILL? Niall. If I wanted to get drunk and party - Louis and Liam. If I wanted to get drunk and have crazy conversations? Harry.

22: Which of the boys would you want to have a movie night with? Niall. Potter Movie Marathon. Lets go.

23: Which of the boys would you want to go shopping with? Oh Harry for sure. Best fashion sense of the lot of them.

24: Which of the boys would you want to have really rough and kinky sex with? Goddamn. Fuck me. Zayn. Probably.

25: Which of the boys would you want as your best friend? Niall.

26: If the boys were animals, which boy would be which animal? I hate these sorts of questions. 

27: If the boys were a song ( not a One Direction song ), which song would which boy be? And these.

28: Sort the boys into Hogwarts Houses. This I’ll do. Niall is a Hufflepuff. Louis is a hatstall between Gryffindor and Slytherin and ultimately would end up in Gryffindor (he reminds me of Sirius Black. Which is high praises from me. Even though I know Sirius wouldn’t have ever been a Slytherin. But anyway). Liam is a Gryffindor. Harry is a Hufflepuff. And Zayn is a Ravenclaw. 

29: Is there something you dislike about the boys as a band? The fact that they’re STILL ON HIATUS? GOD.

30: Which of the boys is the best boyfriend? Niall. Thoughtful, sweet, and loyal. Niall would be a kick ass boyfriend. 

31: Which boy is which fictional character? ( Book / Movie / TV- Show ) Meh. Still not into these sorts of questions.

32: Which boy is the most like you personality-wise? Oh god. Louis maybe? Snappy and outgoing but a little self conscious? Yeah. 

33: Do your friends like One Direction? Some do, some don’t. 

34: To how many of their concerts of have you been? Oh god. 17. Listen. I followed them to the UK and saw half the tour for their last tour. 6 straight shows at the O2. I was at all of them. 3 shows in Sheffield. Again - there. 

35: Blond or brunett Niall? Brunett

36: What would you get your favourite for christmas? LOLOL nothing. Maybe tickets to a show or something. Here’s the thing. 1D can buy anything they want. I’d have to be thoughtful and shit and I don’t know them well enough to give them good thoughtful gifts.

37: Describe your dream-date with your fav. Booze and good food while at a Blackhawks game. Cuz you best believe I’ll make Niall into a hockey fan and make him support the right team.

38: Describe your dream- wedding with your fav. I’ve never been the type to imagine such a thing. Sorry. But yeah.

39: Would you want kids with your fav? How many? How would you name them? Again - I’ve never been into imagining such a thing. I know I’ll never date my fave so why bother?

40: Have you ever felt like you're losing interest in the boys? Yeah. But it comes back. I ebb and flow in my fanship of things.

41: You hear One Direction in public- do you go off or pretend not to care? Go off if I can. But usually I’m working when I hear them lol. They play at my work all the time :)

42: Do you have any posters? A couple but not up

43: Do you like the film This Is Us? I’m watching it right now lol. Or listening to it while I answer these. I love it

44: Do you have any merch? A few things. mostly tshirts. And the headband bow. And things like that

45: Do you think the way the boys act in public is how they really are? To a degree but not entirely. They’re public figures. Just like any other public figure they’ll never be fully themselves out and about.

46: Do you believe in Larry and other conspiracy theories? Fuck no. Get out of here with that Larry bullshit. Let Louis live. I could go OFF about how fucking disrespectful some Larries are about Louis and his child. But I won’t right now. 

47: Which of the boys' girlfriends do you like the most? I never really form opinions on any of them because like. It’s not my life or my place to say anything.

48: Did you ever hate on a female associated with the boys? Nah. Not at all

49: Favourite ship? Narry

50: Favourite bromance? LiLo

51: What's your favorite fanfic? I couldn’t tell you offhand. But there was a Narry fic, I forget what it’s called, where Niall and Harry ended up forming a duo after the band split up. And it was awesome. 

52: Do you read a lot of smut? Used to. Less so now.

53: Describe your favourite dirty fantasy with your fav. Again - with the imagining unrealistic things lol

54: If you got to spend an entire day with your fav, what would you do? Go to the HP WB studio tour then see Hamilton. :) 

55: If you were a One Direction song, which song would you be? Midnight Memories

56: Would you rather get high with Zayn or see a movie with Liam? See a movie with Liam

57: Would you rather go ice-skating with Harry or play Monopoly with Niall? Both. I can’t pick between ice skating and Monopoly lolol

58: Would you rather stroll through London with Louis or hang in Los Angeles with Harry? London with Louis

59: Would you rather sleep with Niall once or go on three dates with Zayn? Sleep with Niall

60: Favourite Louis moment? Him performing on X Factor just recently. He’s so brave, that wonderful boy.

61: Favourite Niall moment? Every moment ever. 

62: Favourite Harry moment? Also every moment ever.

63: Favourite Zayn moment? When he tweeted Louis his condolences then showed up in London with the rest of the boys to support Louis.

64: Favourite Liam moment? Snake Habitat. 

65: Has your fav always been your fav? Nope. But I cycled through pretty quickly to get to Niall

66: If you were to pick an outfit for your fav, what would you get him? I really dig when he wears Alexander McQueen tshirts. Stylish but casual.

67: If you were a tattoo artist, what would you make Niall's first tattoo? The screw. Next question.

68: Talk about the three things you like the most about your favourite. Didn’t I already do this? 

69: Talk about your favourite's sense of humour. Dumb. I love it.

70: Talk about your favourite's face and why you love it. His smile. HIS SMILE MAKES ME WEAK. Okay? Okay.

71: Talk about your favourite's body. Gorgeous but not too buff. Which is rad.

72: Do you like the way your fav dresses? Yeah he’s fine lol.

73: When was your fav the hottest? When was his prime? Right now

74: Which of the boys would you rob a bank with? Louis. 

75: Which of the boys would you tell your darkest secret? Niall

76: Which of the boys would you avoid to get in a fight with? Liam. Boy is strong

77: If you saw your fav in public, would you run after him or leave him alone for good? Leave him alone if I couldn’t meet him without making a scene about it and make people mob him

78: What kind of fan-pic would you like to take with your fav? hugging pics are my faves.

79: Have you ever spammed your fav on Twitter? Nah. That’s annoying.

80: What do you like the most about Liam? How warm and loving he is.

81: What do you like the most about Zayn? His bravery. He faced a lot of adversity.

82: What do you like the most about Harry? His silly side. He lets loose nicely.

83: What do you like the most about Niall? How he brightens every room he is in.

84: What do you like the most about Louis? How he feels like he could be your best friend and how much he cares for his friends.

85: Favourite AU? Meh

86: Which of the boys would make the prettiest girl? Zayn proved he does. 

87: Which of the boys will make the best husband? Niall again.

88: Which of the boys will make the best dad? Louis IS the best dad

89: Which of the boys is most likely to be a succesful solo artist after 1D? I wouldn’t have necessarily said this before, despite how much I love Niall. But now I’ll say Niall. His music is gonna be super chill and rad and played on radios everywhere. I’m so pleased.

90: Have you ever had a carrot phase? Nah that was before my time.

91: Is 17 year old Harry overrated? No age of Harry is overrated.

92: Red suspender- Louis or weed smoking bad boy Louis? Both. They’re both very special and important parts of his being. Red suspender Louis was a young and innocent and more carefree Louis. Weed smoking bad boy Louis has toughened up some. He’s still warm and lovely. But he’s also more fiercely protective and mature. 

93: Did you watch 1D Day? Talk about your experience. Yep. Well. Some. I was also at work some. That was about a week into me being a fan of 1D so it was...an experience lol

94: Narry or Zouis? Narry

95: Ziam or Ziall? Ziall

96: Did you ever make fan art? nah.

97: Do you write fics? Nope

98: Do you think you'll get over the band one day? Maybe. But that’s okay if I do. I love the time that I’ve loved them.

99: What's a One Direction related memory you will never forget? Literally flying to London for them? And meeting some wonderful people because of them. Also meeting Louis was pretty amazing. 

100: Talk about the first time you really noticed the boys. I mean. Noticed how? You’d have to live under a rock to not notice them after X Factor. But I finally let myself start liking them about 4 days before Midnight Memories leaked :)

THANK YOU FOR THIS. FUN TO TAKE A TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #54

“girls are not supposed to fight dirty, never look a day past 30.”

have you ever witnessed a birth?   for humans, no, but cats, yes. do you buy eggnog around the holidays?   this was the first year i tried it.  fucking gross. do you know any one who lives in california?   no friends, but i mean i've "met" some people online who live there. have you ever been told you were a good writer?   that's one of the most common compliments i get. have you ever been on a farm?   yes.  ashley had a friend who lived at one. what are you listening to?   "girls" by marina and the diamonds.  i love her voice so much. are you one to take naps?   every day, yeah.  makes me feel lazy occasionally, but then i remind myself naps are good for you. did you ever have braces?   for too long, yes.  i had them so long that my bottom teeth went in too far; we couldn't afford to take them out.  thank god they're gone now. how often do you drink monster?   never.  i don't like it. are you easy to get along with?    if you're understanding, then i honestly think i am.  i'm very tolerant of different people and try to keep my mind open.  i'm just going to be quiet. is there someone you want to let go of?   yes and no.  i feel both emotions towards jason. who was the last person to have to deal with you having an attitude?   my mother, i'm sure. have you ever suspected anyone of cheating on you?   nope. does your bedroom door lock?   yeah. the last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner?   i never use conditioner.  it adds oil back into your hair. has your partner ever accused you of cheating when you actually didn’t?   no. how old were you when you had your first kiss?   the first time a boy kissed me, i think i was 15?  first time i kissed a boy, i was 16, i think. if I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer?    metallica, please! would you ever get into a long distance relationship?   i mean i guess if i really liked the person. for your birthday, what kind of cake do you ask for?   doughnut cake from annie's. would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents?    carve pumpkins! do you believe in fairies?   nope. if you were given the chance to be immortal, would you take it?   NO. what are you tired of people telling you?   that shit will get better.  you don't know that.  some people don't get happy endings, that's just life. do you have a little sister? what’s her name?    nicole, yes. when you graduate, what color will your gown be?   when i graduated, it was an ugly red. when you were a baby, did you have a favorite blanket?   yes.  it had baby animals all over it. have you ever gotten detention?   yes, for too many tardies. why do you hate your ex?   who says i hate him? do you like the color orange?   yup. whose hoodie did you wear last?   my own.  it has pikachu sleeping on it and says "current mood."  it's super cute. do you think that you’re good enough for the one you like?   if i'm being rational, yes.  if i let my depression and whatnot make the decision, no. what was the last game you won?   probably a replay of a "silent hill" game. what is your favorite thing about concerts?   THE HYPE.  the sheer excitement of everyone enjoying music is otherworldly. what is the last album you listened to all the way through?   ozzy's "black rain" i think. what is an unpopular opinion that you have?   abortion is murder, period. do you prefer space, nude, architecture, or nature photographs?   nature what was the last concert you went to?   one and only concert i've ever been to was alice cooper. describe your wallet:   it's red, black, and white with multiple artworks of harley quinn. describe your tattoos:   my first was a semicolon butterfly.  second was "perfectly flawed" (reference to an otep song).  third was "ohana" and half of a heart. describe your piercings:   two in each earlobe, right tragus, left cartilage, right side of nose. what do you like most about your body?   uhhhh.  i am not fond of my body.  i guess i like my slim wrists and long, slim fingers. how many fillings do you have?   hell if i know. describe your fashion:   if i had the money (and permission from my mother, as she buys my clothes, rip) i would absolutely dress gothic.  it's my aesthetic, big time.  gothic clothes just tend to be very expensive.  i also love graphic tees, and in general tend to look geekish. do you wear a watch?   nope. are you a vegetarian?   no. do you think meat is murder?   i mean, technically, yeah, but at the same time, i don't think it's wrong. your view on drinking:   do it responsibly, and we're fine. your view on pornography:   fucking gross. your view on pre-marital sex:   i really don't know anymore??  i was and i guess i still am abstinent, but i question it.  like the main reason i'm abstinent is because of religious reasons, but after all, half the old testament was forgiven by jesus' coming, yada yada yada, it may not even be "wrong" anymore.  besides that, i just really, really love(d) jason.  now i'm going to regret for the rest of my life the fact i didn't let him fully get to know me in every way possible.  if he, by some god-given miracle, comes back, i'm leaving my abstinence at my feet.  whether it's wrong or right.  because i'll sin for that man. have you ever slept in a water bed?   yeah. how do you feel about having sex during your menstrual period?   i personally wouldn't.  sounds messy. how do you feel about anal sex?   ew. does your ex have a job?    yup. share 3 nice memories you have of the person you fell hardest for.   OH MY GOD, only three?  i'll try to narrow it down to the best, this may take awhile.  1.) dancing in the headlights of his car in my front yard to "stairway to heaven"  2.) me storming into his kitchen to playfully tell him off, only to slide on the floor and land on my ass; we laughed/sobbed for like ten minutes  3.) us lying on his floor, binge-watching "supernatural" while he was moving into his new room, and it ended in him seeing me naked for the first time and still treating me like i was beautiful. tell me about the person you had your first kiss with. how do you feel about that person now?   you want a novel, fam? how old were you when you entered your first relationship?   idk the age, i just know i was in the 7th grade. are there any songs you can’t listen to because they remind you of someone/something?   yup. do you have a tumblr crush?   nah. have you ever found yourself worrying about commitment?   no, and though i don't judge people who do worry about commitment (jason was at the beginning of our relationship when i asked him what his biggest fear was), i don't understand it.  like... it's not a hard concept.  don't commit, ex. get married to a person, if you see any potential issue. has anyone of the opposite sex seen you at your worst?   yep. would you live with someone without marrying them first?   i have before, and i'd do it again. do you believe your most recent ex still thinks about you?   i honestly don't know.  it'd be nice, but i don't know if he truly does. have you ever kissed someone while they were driving?   jesus christ do i want to die? what would you do if your best friend went after your ex the day after you split?   LMAAOOOOOO DON'T. have you ever self harmed?   yup. do you have a birthmark? if so, where?   actually no, i think. were your parents married when you were born?   yeah. when you need to vent, who do you turn to?   mom, usually. do you get a lot of tourists in the area where you live? if so, are there more tourists during a particular time of the year?   i don't think i've EVER seen someone obviously a tourist here, because this part of north carolina ain't shit??? what's the strangest or most interesting compliment you've ever received?   hm, not entirely sure. when you're upset, do you tend to make rash decisions?   YUP. do you prefer to shop online or in an actual store, and why?   online, definitely.  i just tend to find more variety. do you enjoy watching vlogs? if so, are there any specific people or topics you enjoy watching in particular?   yeah, they're all right.  like when pokemon go came out, i particularly got interested in three vlogers of the subject (trainer tips, ali-a, and lachlan).  pretty sure there are other vlogers i watch occasionally, i'm not sure... what was the last new video game you were excited about?   THE LAST GUARDIAN OMG what band/singer do you listen to the most?   i mean it really does depend on my mood and if i've discovered a new artist or not. what’s your favorite quote?   i have SO MANY.  i guess i can pick one that applies most/means most to me, though: "harleen, what did he tell you?" "he said he loved me" from suicide squad.  i nearly broke down in the theater when she said that 'cuz if that ain't me like holy shit.  a very simple quote, but it carries SO MUCH WEIGHT. have you ever dated someone that was a different race than you?   for less than a day, if you even count him. how old is your best friend?   21. do you like writing papers for english classes?   i honestly didn't mind it.  give me a subject, and i can usually write, hunny. don’t edited versions of songs annoy you?   they tend to, yes. if your ex suddenly kissed you right now, what would you do?   without saying a word to me?  i'd either a.) slap him or b.) grab his face and kiss him back.  lmao i know, totally opposite ends of the spectrum, but.  i really don't know which would come first. is your best friend dating anyone?   she's married. do you like lady gaga or does she try too hard?   as a person, she's wildly unique, which i have great respect for.  as an artist, i, surprisingly, like a couple of her songs. where did you last wear a bathing suit?   the beach. have you ever dressed unlike yourself to impress a guy?   i've said this before in another survey: is that not prom?  it's not like i'd go everyday in a big, extravagant dress.  the other day as well, i didn't dress unlike myself, but i seriously did it up because i thought i'd be "running into" jason, so. if you were offered to smoke some weed right now would you accept?   idk, probably not. have you ever done something outrageously dumb?   sure have. have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?   yep. do you go to the mall on friday nights?   no, because i don't want to get shot. do you listen to country music?   only when i'm with colleen. who is your best guy friend?   my only two guy friends period are really sam and girt, and i don't want to pick between them. have you ever had a boyfriend your parents didn’t like?   no. do you shave your legs?   yeah.  i personally would feel too self-conscious revealing my legs if they weren't shaved. has a boy ever spent the night at your house?   plenty of times. who was the last person to sleep over?   chelsea. do you forward the chain letters in your email?   absolutely not. are you on birth control?   yes, but only for my period cramps. do your parents use social media? if so, which ones?   my mom has a facebook. do you and your last ex hate each other?   after that "yeah, no" the other day, pretty sure he hates me.  there's no way in hell i could ever hate him. have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight?   longer than that. do you collect anything?   meerkat stuff.  silent hill merchandise.  band stuff.  jaybird feathers. do you have any nieces or nephews? describe them.   aubree is very lively, but can be shy.  she loves minnie mouse and dory.  ryder is just a baby, so doesn't have much of a personality, really.  at least that i can detect. when was the last time you were sick?   now, actually.  my throat is killing me. can you handle a lot of drama?   NO NO NO NO NO. when you were a kid, was there a boy/girl that you said you were going to marry?   nope.  i didn't even want to marry as a kid. have you ever had a significant other with a mental disorder?   not to my knowledge.  i mean jason had low self-esteem, but he was not mentally ill. are flea markets trashy?   in general, no.  any store though can be trashy.  but generally, no, they're great.  you can find great deals. when you get nervous, does it show physically (i.e shaky hands)?   yes.  i sweat, i quiver, i play with my hands... tell me one unique quality about your own handwriting.   it's a mix of cursive and print. when was the last time you were pissed beyond belief and why?   when colleen implied i wasn't trying hard enough in regards to my depression, anxiety, etc.  i nearly walked out her door. what qualities of yours do you think could potentially harm a relationship?   well i mean apparently being mentally ill is a fucking issue.  like i can help it. what sort of conditions do you require in order for you to fall asleep?   have the fan on (usually), have the television on but on silent. do you have a favorite punk band?   green day for sure. as far as relationships go, what are your biggest deal-breakers?   having kids already, doing drugs, drinking excessively... i've got a number. what’s your favorite mythical being?   dragons if you’re a girl, what’s your bra size?   d-something will you go to your senior prom?   i already did. do you make fun of people who play magic: the gathering or yu-gi-oh! cards?   i've never understood this shit, like, why ridicule someone for enjoying cards?  are we as humans truly that petty?  besides that, magic is like jason's biggest passion, so i'd be making fun of him if i had an issue with it.  he got me to play it occasionally, too, and it's kinda fun.  just damn, this question's got me irritated.  who the fuck has a problem with cards. got a lot of deep, depressing poetry and artwork stashed?   don't find my dA pls ever attempted suicide or self-mutilated yourself?   yeah. what’s the last movie you rented?   "blaire witch" has anyone ever hacked your accounts before?    i allowed my former best friend megan to hack my old youtube once and she allowed me to hack hers so we could put one of those lovey-dubby letters on each other's pages, ha.  have i ever been seriously hacked, no. what was the last thing you ordered online?   a shirt and flip-flops from hottopic where did your last kiss take place?   at my house, odds are, from jason dropping me off. do you reveal a lot about yourself online? are you careful about not revealing too much? would you say you reveal more about yourself than others seem to do?   i do, and i mean i'm cautious with some things, like i won't share my last name, address, stuff like that.  i'd say i reveal just about as much as the other survey takers i read. if you're interested in fashion, what inspires your style most? do you look to celebrities or other famous people for inspiration?   i'm not interested in fashion at all.  i don't care what's "in" and whatnot, i just wear either what is comfortable or i find aesthetically pleasing. is there anything you feel pressured to do by a certain age (i.e. get married)?   honestly?  yeah.  society and family history makes me think i should either already be married or get so within the next like five years and have kids before 30. have you ever lived in a mobile home?   no. friend asks you to hide drugs, booze etc for them, do you do it?   no, honestly. animal you like to watch but sort of creeps you out?   i like watching large spiders.  emphasis on "watching." have you ever been to an open casket wake or funeral?   yup. scariest driver you’ve ridden with?   my dad that one day he was really pissed off, picking nicole and i up from school.  i legitimately thought i was going to die.  he was running red lights, passing illegally... have you/do you plan to go to college?   i am in college, but i am sincerely contemplating dropping out.  things aren't going well. have you ever dated someone named kyle?   no, but i had a crush on a kyle in high school. do you think greasy hair is a turn off?   it's definitely not a turn on.  in interest of my significant other's health, i'd want you to take a shower if your hair was greasy. your computer crashes, deletes EVERYTHING, can you survive?   lmao pls don't tell me about the last time you had sex?   i've never had sex, just done sexual things.  it's been over a year since i've "done anything" though, so i couldn't tell you about the last time. what is your biggest mistake in life?   letting my depression literally consume me to the point it made the love of my fucking life fall out of love with me. what was the last thing you drank?   some strawberry fruit juice.