#it’s ok tho i’ll go to sleep and get 7 hours so i’ll be fully refreshed

[practicalmagicintuitions]

Here is the Chris Reading for the anons asking for it:

I’ve placed a whole bunch of things down for this one. You guys wanted general, so until I could hone in on something, I had to just test the waters on all things. (I’m not following him so I don’t know what’s going on at all) if you guys notice something in this reading that you think could be symbolism for something you actually know of in his life, let me know! :)

I was asked for General, how he feels about relationships, how he feels about marriage, career? And love life.

1. I put down Chris

2. Being in a relationship” second. BIAR Wanted to be in front of Chris, Chris also wanted it there

3. Career was confused where to go, Being in a relationship was in the way. Career decided it’s gonna jam itself between them. (Already this is super telling.)

4. Being Single - single was attached to career, it wanted to stay with career it wouldn’t move elsewhere

5. Family are right behind Chris, (good that’s where they should be. Doesn’t look like any animosity atm)

6. Strangely, marriage wanted to be in front of in a relationship……..? That’s gonna be a fun one to figure out.

7. “Having kids” is behind him, past family and on the left (it’s the furthest placement away so far”

Chris is staring ahead at Career, single, BIAR and single. They’re all in a line.

Chris is staring straight at career. I can’t feel anything from him besides the fact that this big brick wall called a career is in front of him. I see nothing past that. “Single” though, rather than seeming as big as career, seems to represent itself as a little flag thats just been pressed into the side of the brick wall, single isnt giving me any feeling either.

That being said, the career brick wall is not intimidating. It’s just more like he’s looking up at it like, “huh. Big guy” he has the need to climb over it.

Yeah, listen this wall is a wall but he’s not trying duck his head to the side and see past it, he just has the need to jump over this brick wall. The wall is maybe 7 foot tall, so in comparison to himself and how big he feels in this scenario (he feels his normal 6 foot self) he absolutely could. But it’s just interesting that what I’m seeing/feeling is a brick wall that’s like 5 foot in length and yet he has no desire to just bypass it and go to the side, he wants to climb the fucking thing?

Chris stans, tell me what the HELL that is about. You know him better than I. Does he like the competition or accomplishment? Does he feel he needs to prove himself the hard way?

Anyway, he’s pretty confident he can jump this wall. And single is not even a thing to him in its current position.

He’s thinking very hard about how to jump this wall. Like he knows how, you lift yourself up and jump over it I can see that image in my head very easy, but he’s struggling to actually DO it?

Nope, ok he doesn’t want to.

He knows he can jump it, he knows it’s blocking everything else, but I go to take an action for him and he’s like “nah I’m good tho”

Seems a fitting time to put in “anxiety.”

I laughed out loud when I had to place anxiety. Take a wild guess where it felt it needed to be?

You bet chya, it’s on the wall.

And then it couldn’t make up its mind. Officially I’ve placed it on the wall together with “single” and “career” but the energy for anxiety is actually that’s it’s jumping in front of the wall, to on the wall, to behind the wall and it keeps doing that. Just back and forth.

Makes total sense as to why he can’t cross this wall.

Now that anxiety is there he doesn’t want to look in its direction at all.

He’s gotten a bit warm and a bit of a headache too now, and a bit dizzy. The headache is real present.

The good news is in these situations where someone can’t move due to anxiety or otherwise, it’s always a good time to place supports, so the person can feel supported to do the thing they want and move forward. Luckily, his family are already placed behind him, they seem to really love him, so it’s just about me utilising that now.

This part I’m going to do more privately (as in I won’t type it) cause this would be a personal thing (maybe even generational thing) that he needs to move through with his family in order for them to feel that support. His anxiety didn’t come from nowhere. That being said I’m also not going to do a whole ass constellation with him cause 1. He’s not here and 2. It would take hours.

All I’ll say is his mum is a MASSIVE support for him, and also……. 😬 kinda swamping him a bit. He doesn’t mind it, it’s actually very comforted, but she truly is just physically in this reading SWAMPING him. An outsider could see that she’s maybe a bit too involved with his life.. which isn’t great for a fully grown man. But, he finds it comforting, what are ya gonna do. Clearly he doesn’t want it to end… :/

(For reading purposes So it’s not just jumping, I took about 5 minutes with him and his family to help move past anxiety, his family love the crap out of the guy it’s real cute.)

I thought this was important to note:

What Career feels in relation to CE:

Very big, bulky, serious. Reminds me a bit of Wilson Fisk from into the spider verse. Just very big, bulky, serious a bit of a bully. Not gonna move. You’re gonna do what I tell you. Restrictive. That kind of energy. It doesn’t HATE him, but it has rules. And Chris is gonna follow them. (That’s a threat) it also feels like within career is actually a powerful male that kinda owns his ass? Not sure who that could be, once again CE stans, gimme the tea.

For the next part I might… get in trouble. I know that when it comes to the talk of relationships no one likes to hear it. Don’t kill the messenger here you guys:

he has his back TURNED from “single”

I could encourage him to look everywhich other way for any other representative, but single? Back turned.

Doesn’t wanna look at it.

Single on the other hand is kinda looking at him like a little kid like :) hi Chris look pls. Chris! Pls :) Chris look at me Chris pls :) Chrissy! Take a look!

For whatever reason “single” in this reading is feeling very adolescent. Maybe he feels that being single isn’t a grown up thing to do anymore? (I forgot to mention, the things in the field take on the energy of the person it’s focused on, not necessarily how it is perceived by EVERYONE in the world, only how it’s perceived or how it acts in relation to the client. Single to ME might be a knight in shining armor that protects me, Single to Chris seems adolescent.

So, Chris is looking at both “marriage” and “being in a relationship” he’s not feeling particularly drawn towards either, but he is giving a lot more attention to “being in a relationship” than marriage.

Which is weird, cause if you don’t want single, yet you don’t want relationship, what do you want?

I have now brought in “situationship” “flirting w/ someone” and “fwb”

situationship is closest, but doesn’t have his full attention, as it’s to the left side of him at an Angle. FWB is just behind situationship but more aligned to be in front of his eyesight, and flirting with someone is on the right from him, at an angle and is the furthest of the three.

Ok, FWB feels the most comfortable for him, he actually took a step towards it. He’s not feeling super fond of any of the three in any way, but FWB is nice it’s comforting, he’s.. semi happy? It’s not even really happy… it’s just like “doing ok!This is ok! This is comfortable.”

He’s side eyeing the shit out of “situationship” though and is anxious at how close it is. He doesn’t actually want the situationship there, but it’s close now and it’s not moving, and he’s having a bit of anxiety about it. He can’t stop looking at it though. FWB is immediate comfort, situationship is SO ANXIETY INDUCING but it’s also more interesting to look at?

(Chris get therapy 🙄)

Flirting with someone is out of the picture, been there, done that doesn’t care about it. (Could be that he’s already gone through the flirting stage with someone that’s why it’s of no interest to him)

Now that he’s finding situationship more interesting, he’s looking past FWB and to “being in a relationship” which he also finds nicer to look at. The thought coming up is “that would be nice” but in a wistful way.

Marriage is still right out, we’re not looking at marriage.

I’m gonna move relationship closer to situationship to see if he feels better or worse.

Lmao ok, I put them both together and imagined situation ship and relationship being close, like they’re holding hands. In his mind, situationship is a cute little brunette that’s like 5’4 and “being in a relationship” is built like an Amazonian 6’5 goddess and he’s both in awe, yet intimidated a bit, but also not hating it, but the only thought that came up was “ahhhhh…. Fuck.”

Two thoughts came up but they both got crossed out before he could finish it.

“I don’t want-���

“I’m not ready……..-“

And now he just keeps hesitantly saying relationship over and over again but he’s saying it like he’s brand new to the word, like he’s trying to find the word for the word - yet he’s already speaking it??

And now it’s just a flatlining “😐 mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm……”

Sat with this for a while and didn’t have much movement so time to move to:

Question time:

Q: Chris.. are you in a situationship?

I don’t know what I’m in

Q: Ok. Are you… sleeping with someone

Yeah

Q: Are you FWB?

He’s hesitant? Like he’s not sure. That word doesn’t seem to fit what he’s up to atm. He seems very confused about what he’s in.

Q: Are you going on dates with someone?

I’m going on dates

Q: With many people or just one?

Just…. One… (not sure why he was hesitant about telling me, but I feel like I’m starting to cross on something I’m not meant to talk about, so I’m ending it here. If he wants to keep it to himself, he is absolutely in his right to do so)

I will say when He said just one, a person did show up: brown hair, she’s shorter than him (but that’s obvious) and she’s slender and kinda perky. When I see her she looks like she’s fun! I saw her dancing around a bit. I liked her energy.

Sound like anyone you guys know?

Note: this is where I’ve ended it. Wasn’t gonna push on it he was getting more and more hesitant it’s not my place to push anything that he doesn’t want me to access. Now that we’ve created the focus though it will be easier to go from there :)

Hopefully that covered it for the anons that asked :) I’m over @energyanon to anyone that needs anything clarified.

Thank you for doing this @energyanon ! Your gift is amazing and thank you for your dedication!

[imagines-mha]

How class 1-B are in the mornings

Monoma

Have u ever seen something so tired in ur life

He’s 100% that annoying person who REFUSES to get up no matter how many times you shout at him

Takes him 39 years to actually get out of bed and he’s hellbent until he gets some form of breakfast (thank u tetsutetsu for being the typical morning provider)

Like fr he hates just about everyone

He’s the reason most of the morning dramas break out in the class. He argues with EVERYONE and it causes so many fuckin arguments there’s at least one every morning some1 restrain him

Tetsutetsu

Typical “RISE AND SHINE ITS A LOVELY MORNING WHO WANTS BREAKFAST????” bitch in the house

He’ll wake up exactly on his alarm, hopping out of his bed as awake as he’s ever been he’s so excited everyone plz give him a kiss

Once he’s up he’s up and he’s the biggest morning person in the house like he brings SO MUCH joy

It annoys the sleepy squad™️ but on the plus side he offers to make breakfast for everyone cus he’s always up so early so who rlly wins???

Awase

Closeted member of the sleepysquad™️

sleeps until he HAS to get up lmao he ain’t one of those “i’ll get up early to get breakfast and get prepared for the day!!” NAW he’s more like “don’t even enter my room til 10 minutes before class starts”

If you DO enter his room earlier than allowed he will end you. Like it’s one of the few times he gets really REALLY angry at people and u don’t wanna see him angry cus he can be a demon

He pretends he’s up when his alarm rings, but he’ll sit at breakfast letting his eyes shut every few minutes and it’s so easy to see how tired he is

Rin

He’s grumpy when he wakes up

If monoma or ANYONE even opens their mouth he glares so hard like if looks could kill lmao

Can’t eat breakfast in the mornings. Thinks anyone who does has deeply rooted issues

Literally. Don’t even breathe in his direction bro. It’s for ur own good

He and awase make the worst duo in the mornings to be around they can be so SASSY

Tsuburaba

Either the happiest person alive or the sleepiest. Fr it’s 50/50

One morning he’ll wake up with a start and greet everyone and get off to a happy, bouncy beginning to his day

Other mornings he can and will fall asleep in a bowl of cereal

He’s also the cutest though like he has that messy hair aesthetic and he’s literally a 4 year old in need of care when he’s sleepy

His mood depends on whether he’s showered the night before or not

Kaibara

SLEEPY SQUAD LEADER

He wakes up extremely tired: his hair a mess, pyjamas all ruffled, and he yawns 3 times per minute

Does he care though? No

Like fr an avalanche could hit the building and he still wouldn’t react heS SO SLOW

It takes him like 2 hours to wake up properly but the class find it adorable cus he has this croaky voice when he’s tired and they all LOVE IT

Honenuki

He wakes up every morning exactly 4 minutes before his alarm. He doesn’t know how to fix it

He’s learned to reap the benefits though cus these four minutes are his time™️ to get his life together for the day

He 100% sleepwalks

He’s that weirdo who does stretches in the mornings and drinks water to “fully energize himself”

In a good mood most mornings- just like he usually is tbh like they don’t affect him much

Kuroiro

Does he,,,, does he sleep?

Honenuki went into his room one night to grab a charger and found him just,,,sitting there

He doesn’t like to talk about that experience

Noone really knows what happens once lights go out tbh

He does sleep though. If you look closely in the mornings his hair’s a teeny bit more disshevelled and his voice is slightly more gruff but it takes a genius to figure it out

Komori

She is literally the defiance of logic in the mornings

10pm will hit and she’ll be snoring on the sofa, then after her 9 HOUR SLEEP she’ll wake up for school, more tired than anyone in the class

Sleepysquad queen™️

She’s dangerous whenever she’s tired like i mean she needs constant assistance cus my girl be walking into walls n shit

She just makes confused noises til class starts

Kendo

She’s tired but mom gotta work so she forgets abt it 😤

She’s the resident alarm clock of the dorms

As in she comes and wakes up the idiots who hit snooze too many times (*cough* moNOMA *cough*)

A little moody in the mornings, and it’s not a rare sight to see her arguing with a grumpy monoma or awase

Pls be kind to her in the mornings she tries so hard.

Pony

ADORABLE SLEEPY ANGEL

shes the only one monoma can stand in the mornings cus you just CANT be mean to her

Always has her hair in plaits to make it wavy and wears matching pyjamas every night

She literally is an angel she’ll wake up with a croaky “good morning everyone” and start her day with smiles and happy thoughts

Definitely a morning person she cheers everyone up

Ibara

She gets up at 5:45am every single morning to meditate and do yoga

Always the first one up

She’ll come outside the dorms and watch the sunrise in the summer with a cup of tea and her own company- if this doesn’t happen she goes from angel to demon in minutes

When everyone wakes up she’s already dressed and has already eaten and they’re lowkey jealous of her time management

Reiko

Don’t look at her in the mornings she’s a mess

Ask her a question and she’ll stare blankly at you until you go away there’s no hope for conversation sorry bro 😔👊🏻

She just sits on her phone and tries to absorb as much caffeine as possible before going to school like she litrally gives 0 fucks u could feed her paper in the mornings and she wouldn’t second guess it

Kodai

She’s the most normal when she wakes up. Not too happy not too grumpy just 👌🏻

Will help tetsutetsu make breakfast cus she’s one of the only ones who can stand his energy

She’s the go to gal for homework in the mornings. If you need to copy some shit up or finish off smth her schoolbags always open to everyone and the answers are always right

She’s the only one everyone can collectively stand in the mornings

Tokage

How does she have so much energy??? What the fuck

Wakes up ready to run a marathon

Her eyes fr snap open at 7:00am and she’s like “LETS GOOOOOOO MORNING TIME YEE HAW!!!!”

Uses her quirk to prank people in the mornings and it makes the morning clique™️ giggle

As opposed, it makes the sleepy squad™️ so fucking angry but it IS funny to be fair

Manga

U know those cute ZZZZZZZ emoji things that appear on his speech bubble whenever he’s sleepy

They stay there til midday

He just drags himself around every morning and bondo ends up carrying him HES SO TIRED

He stays up all night drawing and dancing around his room like it’s 4AM and he’s bouncing on his bed to the fuckin ghostbusters soundtrack he’s a dork

Bondo

Another angel in the mornings

If it weren’t for him fukidashi would have been dead due to tiredness

Makes all his sleepy friends their coffee and gets them ready for school

Hes a mom

He sleeps a good 10 hours a night tho like damn he does get his beauty sleep

He’ll help out as much as possible and everyone just loves to be around him

Shishida

He’s a CONFUSED OLD MAN

“Ah,,,,,kendo,,,,have you by any chance seen my glasses?”

He asks shit like this every morning and every morning they’re in the EXACT same place god someone help him pls

He sleepwalks and sleeptalks and it’s TERRIFYING because from a distance he looks so scary

Don’t get into a conversation with him in the mornings he’ll talk for hours on end

Shoda

He’s another sleepy boy

He doesn’t have an ounce of malice in him, but he’s also the most disorientated

He’s dropped and smashed so many cups on the floor from just being too tired vlad’s gonna kill him one day

He actually doesn’t give a fuck in the mornings

You could tell him the house is on fire and he’d still try and roll back over to get that extra 5 minutes lmao

Kamakiri

Do u want 2 die in the mornings? No? Ok just don’t look at him and you’ll be fine

The definition of “if looks could kill”

He doesn’t want to be awake. He doesn’t want to go to school. He wants to be in bed, dreaming abt nice leaves or some shit idk what do preying mantises dream abt??

He’s threatened monoma with a knife before and vlad had to pull them apart it was scary as heck but he regets nothing

[tangerinegod]

Hello! I am sorry to bother you but I am a senior getting ready for college this year. I am in the US and I wanted to major in the same thing you did, do you have any possible tips for me? I still haven't even looked for colleges that would be best for animation majors so I figured if you were up to giving out any tips/saying any basic ideas if you wanted to/if you had the time to then maybe I'll have a better idea! I apologise for if I sound weird! I'm tried to word it correctly but I can't 😿

hi!! i’m totally down to share my experiences! someone else also had some questions so i’m going to put them all together in this post haha, hopefully this helps! it’ll get pretty long so apologies ahead of time but art school is a lot to think about so i wanna be as helpful as i can around it, its a lot of time and money. I’m gonna put it all under a read more cus it is really really long!

i wanna start off with the fact that I had the privilege of attending school in a financially stable environment, my parents were/are really supportive so w merit scholarship i only came out with around 20-30k in debt and i also had housing support my entire time in school. they were ok with me focusing on academics so i didn’t hold a retail job unless i was out of school like summer/winter break. Ofc though i regularly take commissions/do merch/cons to try and pay for all bills that arent rent cus i did want to be financially independent where it was possible. I also did try and work during the semester but everytime i did my body would deff start to breakdown from the fact that i didnt wanna compromise schoolwork with jobs.. so just read ahead know this experience is from a student who was able to attend focusing only on school work for most of the time!

the biggest thing is knowing art school is not required to become a professional in either freelancing or industry! there are a huuuge amount of online tools and classes these days that provide the exact same education and for cheaper too. i think it depends on what experience you prefer/can handle/want but it’s definitely possible to make art/animation art your living without higher education. the thing that college will for sure give you though is the ability to meet deadlines, work even when you dont want to, and connections with peers+teachers. i think the connections part is invaluable because you’re basically coming out with a network of people you already know and who know you! 

also its good to know if you want to attend/can handle art school! it’s a lot of time and energy and students get burned out really fast. the best piece of advice i got before going was ‘if you draw every single day, even if its for only like 5-10 minutes or a doodle for a whole year you should be fine’ consistency is super key because you’re attending school to draw, and you’ll have to create work for stuff you aren’t excited for at some point or another. burnout is extremely real and the only reason i didn’t experience it was probably because i got super into drawing naruto fanart again inbetween sophomore and junior year! it helped give me something to draw seperated from school which is the only thing i was drawing for since i had entered rip. a heads up id also consider myself a workaholic so i fit in ok with the ‘art school’ environment but it is suuper unhealthy. if you are fantastic at managing your schedule then it’s definitely possible to take care of yourself! freshman year i got 8 hours a sleep a night and only pulled all nighters for some second semester finals at the end. sophomore year + up though i ended up prioritizing hw over sleep and like for sure, definitely shortened my life span. there’s another q down below where i’ll go more into detail but ya, be careful w ur work balance!

another tip especially for animation is knowing for a fact what type of animation you’re looking to go into, and what the school is offering. I didn’t think i’d get into art school at the time so i only applied to two places + decided if i didnt get into either id attend community to get credits out of the way while building portfolio. honestly? i did not do a lot of research LOL but like i did end up having the chance to tour and stuff! just know that each school will have a very different curriculum. The main differences are schools that prioritize 3D (cg animation, cg modeling, ect) and 2D/traditional (hand drawn, ‘oldschool’, digital or traditional based) this is a huge difference so make sure you do research for it! in most cases a 2D/traditional program will also offer 3D since it’s at the forefront of the industry animation wise rn. My school taught 2D but like hand drawn on physical paper 2D, frame by frame. while it was a good experience it’s super outdated because digital tools make it way faster + easier! i’d recommend looking for a program that is digital 2D over traditional 2D. 

if after your senior year covid is still affecting campuses in the US to keep them shut down i’d recommend attending a community college to get credits and then transferring into school. one of the negatives is paying money for gened classes when ur not there for them; if you can get them out of the way sooner and cheaper there is absolutely no negative + you could graduate earlier or use the extra time for better work or to work a job! 

these are all the general tips i think i’d give on like a broad basis of attending or not to think about? let me know if u have more q’s! someone asked q’s im answering below that go more into personal experiences + work culture so heres those:

- how many hours a week do u spend studying, in class, otherwise making art? like how much of ur life does it consume?

I was basically working on art.... 24/7! since i wasnt working a job at the same time i crammed as many credits as possible into my schedule so on avg i did 18 credit semesters (around 6 classes) art classes go for 6 hours and non art go for 3, so i’d spent around 30-35 hours in class a week! hw wise it varied on the class but combined it would be around 35-50 hours a week... im guessing? on average studio classes would have 8-10 hours of hw, maybe 5 for a light week, and gened classes 5 hours w them all combined. or this was probably how things were before junior year? junior+senior year i had thesis + everything else ontop.. i’d spend around 30-40 hours on thesis a week with other classes ontop of that bc my film was super long cus im a dummy! 

- is it hard going to art school n realising that altho u were probably quite talented… so is everyone else? Like. all of a sudden. ur not special and everyone seems as good as u, you know? More generally, how do u deal with comparison?

kinda?? i think instead of the idea of like you vs others it feels more of like a competition at first to be the best. this varies hugely on school culture though; my animation year was really friendly with each other and get along extremely well, so my answer to this is v different than some others who attended different schools. i think that the idea of ‘comparison’ only lasts a portion of the first year because at some point you realize that it’s not a who’s better as much as its a ‘these are my coworkers’ type thing? like healthy competition 100% because we’re all working to improve but i think most of us learned pretty early on that viewing each other as peers going into the same workforce helped a lot. also at some point everyone develops their own style/starts to develop their artistic preferences so there isn’t a way to compare whos 'better’ anymore? i dont think there ever is tbh because style is appealing based off of an individuals preferences. If anything realizing everyone else is also amazing makes you wanna work harder ig? or thats how i felt! it’s inspiring to be surrounded by so many people who create such amazing work. 

- is there a lot of workaholic culture? all nighter culture?

100000% there can be a workaholic and all nighter culture. i know people who avoided it and thats honestly fantastic because i fall super easily into that pit. sometimes i’ll pull all nighters on a personal project just because i really want to finish it... i am definitely considered a workaholic all the way through and its not healthy rip... i’d estimate at the worst i was pulling 2-3 all nighters a week and only 4-5 hours of sleep on the nights i didn’t? that was only for one year tho, after that i was like yeah ok this is really bad for my health in the long run LOL so i tried to cut it down to one all nighter a week and around 5-6 hours of sleep the rest of the week! by senior year my decision to cram in full semesters paid off and i was able to consistently get around 7 hours of sleep a night + no all nighters minus finals since my schedule was lighter despite thesis 😭 while there is that culture i don’t think people view it as like a badge of honor or something to be proud of anymore which is good, we mostly view it as a flaw of the art school system and something that needs to be fixed!!

- are you glad u did it? how did u know it was what u wanted?

i am glad i did it! i’m definitely in a limbo right now of if it was worth both my time, money, and my parents money rip but i think with what i got out of it i definitely wouldn’t be as far skill wise or knowledge wise when it comes to the art industry. i would say it was only worth it for be because i had so much support going in though so i was able to focus so much on improving. if i had only been able to put in part of the effort and not make full use of the resources provided i would honestly have a different answer.. 

i knew it was what i wanted when i realized i really couldn’t see myself pursuing a different profession happily! despite all the bumps and stuff im fully in love with drawing still and feel honored that it’s a field that can provide a living. my second profession choice was to go into culinary school? and third option i think going was into music cus i was also a band kid hehe.  

- how do u cope with ur hobby becoming ur job? how do u deal with art going from something u do for fun to something u do on command constantly?

i think seperating work art from personal art is important! in my case im doubling naruto into being personal work so i have something to fall back onto that isn’t work related. its been a hyperfixation for 12+ years? so drawing it at this point is just like personal art imo. some people have hobbies outside of art and only draw for their job! i think after attending classes for so long the idea of hobby turning into job feels extremely natural? also i enjoy doing it so thats a huge plus! 

sorry this is SO long but i hope i answered your guys’ questions! if you have more just lmk!

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

WhatsApp? Part 6. (Steve Rogers x reader)

Description: You’ve never been lucky with guys. You just wanted to catch someone’s eye, to be loved. One day, that’s about to turn completely - with one fake, completely imagined number a guy gave you

A/N: Sending a nod to Starlord’s direction with this one. ;) Also I am so sorry about the voice attributes rant, I studied special pedagogics and in here, voice, its attributes and the speech itself is a huge part of ENT studies centering around ears, throat, and neck...

A/N: THANK YOU FOR 200 FOLLOWERS. OMG.

A/N: I am sorry, @missdictatorme for no phone s*x. Ily by the way.

A song which I want to highlight for this chapter: Fallingforyou by the 1975.

Warnings: none really?

Tagging: @missdictatorme @songforhema

Read more here, babe ;):   Part One  Part Two  Part three  Part four  Part five

If you like things in one place, you might like the series master list: H E R E

The time had tendencies to stop when Steve so far, far away from you. 

You hadn't got a single clue where could be or what's he doing but you hoped he's safe and well. Sometimes you looked out of the window for ten minutes straight just thinking about where he could be. You checked your phone every morning and evening - nothing. He wasn't really messing around when he told you it can take a whole month before he comes back to you.

Deena, who was a self-proclaimed dancing teacher volunteered to lead the choreo. And she wasn't really bad at it.

At least you had your head all Steve-cleared off do could actually focus on your choreography for the big evening itself. It was somehow borderline racy but still PG-13 friendly as you thought it will be. May made sure it will be. You were dancing in sync, and you were grouped to trios for this one. You were basically repeating actions of the trio which went before you, it was simple yet good, or so you thought. You felt good about it at least.

You were in the last trio along with Deena and Marzia, another girl from your office so it would be double insured that you can't actually fuck up.

The girls made sure you acted all bossy - at some point, you started to use chairs to make it even more clear. That you were the ones being on the top during your dance. Before you could even dance in slight sync, it took you two weeks of every of your working day afternoon. Every one of you worked on it hard and it was paying off. Even you, probably the least talented person, or so you felt, could incredibly sway your hips. You didn't think that you can actually look that deductive yet you did.

Val told you that you were a killer - you took her only partially seriously because she was always friendly flirting with you.

Sometimes Peter came along. He was the sound tech guy every time. And then made fun of you when you accidentally fucked up. You loved that clueless boy so much.

"Okay. What do you think?" - You asked Peter, drinking from a water bottle. It was week three of you almost destroying your legs on those a bit too much tall high heels. You didn't want to wear them - your feet were swollen and hurt after every afternoon, but Deena shushed you off. It should look sexier than you dancing in Canada shoes and that Deena considered a pure fact.

"That you will kill yourself during that turn around with the chair in your hands." - He answered honestly with a childish smile, winging his feet in old Converse shoes from side to side. - “But there is a chance you will kill somebody else, so it's 50-50.”

"How gentle of you, Parker. You must be a real hit with the ladies, am I right?" - You nudged his shoulder, taking those devilish shoes off your feet, massaging them. He grinned at you.

"I can say obscene things like actually liking it out loud here, Y/N. And you know that!" - Peter laughed out loud, showing the gentle wrinkles around his hazelnut eyes. - "And since I ripped your tee off? May would have killed me if she actually heard me saying something nice about you!"

You had to laugh at his remark. You both were poking fun out that event since the next day Pete actually came to visit you, only May didn't find it as amusing as you two. Poor boy never got his free Oreo milkshake. And to be fair - Val actually started the beef with some pretty explicit jokes. And because you two were who you two were, it didn't take so long before you put that beef on fully.

"So continue calling me dumb. That will do. That's basically every girl's dream." - You nudged his head and left to a small cab to change your clothes. Your eyes just checked your phone as they were used to do all along those three weeks.

And your heart performed a fucking parkour jump at the sight of the green diode beeping at your eyes. The breath was caught in your throat when you gulped. Your hands shook by their will when you took the phone in your hands. It was a text from him. Steve was actually back.

As you opened the conversation, his promise popped directly in your head. A call. He promised you a fucking call. Steve willingly offered you to hear his voice. Three weeks ago. And now he was back. You were on cloud fucking nine. That was an offer you couldn't pass on.

Steve: I was so looking forward to texting you from the moment we took off. I'm back and well, Y/N.

Dear lord, you thought to himself, your eyes were firmly closed and you could feel a smile creeping on your lips. Thank you for keeping that man safe and well. Thank you for letting him come back.

Y/N: I missed you so much and I have so much thing to tell you! How was your little work trip?

You couldn't care less about being eager or too obvious with being excited about him being back. It was just natural for you to be excited. You had to tell Peter, so you changed your clothes the quickest way. You ran away from the cab looking like a mess with your bag over your shoulder with your smile looking better than a five-star hotel.

"Pete, Pete, Pete!" - You quirked in a high pitch. Peter wasn't sure if you hadn't got mad, looking at you with his puppy eyes in a horrified manner.

"Tell me that you have won a million dollars and I don't have to go to school anymore. I beg you." - Peter mumbled with a side smile. You shoved your phone right into his eyes and smiled widely. - "You're shitting me!" - He fangirled as hard as you had and performed your typical victory dance.

"Peter! Have you just cussed? We've talked about that!" - May shouted into your direction and you both freeze. Then you giggled.

"That means..." - Peter wiggled his eyebrows. Of course, you've told him about that call promise. He knew everything that happened with Steve. Not because he wanted to know, but because you rambled about Steve as much as he has rambled about Liz Toomes.

"You bet your favorite Lego puzzle!" - You hummed a tune and Peter laughed again.

"It isn't called a puzzle, to be honest..." - Peter trailed off the topic again, but you were leaving at that point, so you didn't take him too seriously.

"I don't caa-are." - You sang playfully and left the studio you rented for your choreography training, hoping you would get home as soon as possible.

---

The European job didn't go as bad as they were warned about but it didn't go exactly as smooth as Steve hope it will. He really got his hopes set high to be earlier at home. Sometimes he wanted to just take his phone off his bag, turn it on and text you that he and his friends are ok. But Natasha almost knifed him with her eyes every time that thought crossed his mind.

In the end, they were tired, really dirty, sleepy like 24/7. Even Sam, who usually tried to talk a big hole into others heads, layed in total silence. Now he was most likely dead on the back seats, covering his face with his forearm. 

Of course, you were the first thing on his mind when he got to his phone - after having a long-ass sleep, a great warm shower and a bunch of unhealthy food ordered from a near China restaurant. 

You texted back almost immediately, which made him smile and relax on the bed. He had a feeling that maybe you would be pretty pissed about his sudden, unexcusable need to disappear to a different continent because of a work a don't make me remind him that you still didn't even know what in the hell he's doing. But the better he got to know you, the more difficult and surreal saying his true identity to you was.

Almost unthinkable even. 

Y/N: So that promise, can I still count on it? 

You asked after he told you a little about his three weeks in Europe. He didn't lie but he definitely didn't tell you anything that could give you an actual image of what happened there - a lot of counterespionage from Nat, a lot of fighting and a lot of bad guy's blood spilling. He was giving you a gentle, sweet, careful silver linings to keep you safe. Those were his intentions - protecting you at all costs before knowing the truth. 

Steve: Of course. I am a man of my word. Today at seven p.m.? 

It was already five p.m. so two hours were remaining but he was sure it will be a terror for him. Maybe you'll just refuse to move this far behind the formal line today? He knew he's shitting himself at the moment.

Y/N: Okay. I'll be waiting, handsome.

---

Your hands literally shook as you panicked. 

You needed to calm down asap. It wasn't an eye-to-eye meeting with him nor it was an actual FaceTime. It was just a fucking call which got you so off-rail. This got you even more intensely than when you were waiting for a call from some office lady whether you got that job or you did not. 

It was Steve for god's sake. Not just someone. Steve. You felt like Lykke Li in one of those videos Peter showed you. She was extremely obsessing about a man, having his pictures all over her apartment, just wished he would take notice of her. 

You would do the same at that point if you actually got some of his photos. You were just one hundred percent sure. 

That one call was everything you could actually think about - you showered beforehand even tho he couldn't smell you through the phone just to feel pretty. You also did have a proper dinner so your liver would not do anything unplanned. You even tried some dumb yoga bullshit Marzia and Suzie thought you to calm yourself down. 

You felt so, so, so stupid for overreacting that strongly but then you reminded yourself that it is mysterious, funny and gentle Steve. And you panicked again, trying to imagine his voice. Would it be high-pitched or too deep? Would it be raspy or smooth? There were too many options - too many tembers, too many speed rates, and too many articulation options.

Maybe he stutters? Which would be kinda cool you hoped. Or maybe he has a problem with saying out loud some letters? Wow, you were overwhelmed for a slight bit at that moment. But no matter ho Steves speech will be, you told to yourself, you will not give up on him because of that. 

And let me say that you almost jumped off your bed when the phone rang in your hand with his name in the fucking middle of that, suddenly too small, screen. This was it. This was the moment.

You tried to breathe until the lowerest part of your lungs wasn't filled with air and then you quickly answered. That feeling of nervousness was all over your body, you felt partially numb and all you could say was that you marched around your room with your cheeks burning on fire. 

“H-Hey, hey.” - You mumbled out, which was a big win-win for you. You didn't stutter that much, just maybe breathing a bit too heavily. All you could hear was a chuckle from the other side of the phone. 

It almost sent you right to fainting. That was a sound of gods - you would bet your whole lego set on that. Holy goddamn shit. You jumped at the bed, feeling really quirky and cheese. You just fangirled over his chuckle. Great. You were going crazy. That was a fact. If Pete saw you acting around this clingy and cheesy, he would be laughing so hard.

“Hey.” - He answered with a chuckle under his breath, he sounded so calm and smooth, to begin with. (It wasn't the truth at all. But he was trying his actual best to appear cool in front of you.) - "Is everything alright out there? Am I interrupting you from something? I didn't mean to..." - And there he was. His usual nervousness got a hold on him eventually. That wasn't as smooth as he anticipated, but exactly make you like him more.

He was just as nervous as you were. You weren't acting like a total idiot after all.

"No. Of course, you're not... Interrupting anything. Don't be silly." - You laughed with a high, nervous tone, sounding like a boy in puberty. Well, damn. This was going so off rails so fast.

You analyzed his voice precisely. It wasn't super deep nor rough for that matter. He had actually really smooth voice which was just really nice to listen to. And he had to think you're an idiot.

"I can't believe I've done it." - Steve said all of a sudden stopping you in the middle of marching up to your bed again. One of your feet was on the mattress and the second one was still on the ground. You looked like a stretching ballerina.

"It feels so surreal, am I right?" - You chuckled, finally taking a hold of your own voice. You finally sounded like a grown woman.

"Exactly. It's... Wow. I don't know what it didn't cross my mind earlier. You could told me a lot of your stories so quicker and it would be much more fun."

"So you don't find reading my miserable life stories interesting. Okay, noted." - You teased him slightly. Steve laughed, saying a loud 'nooo!'. God, this man was just something.

"I didn't mean that at all!" - That was the first time you heard him actually giggled. He was doing it all the time because of your texts. But this was for the first time in real life you've heard it. The sight of you was messy - your eyes shone, your cheeks were rosy and your hair was not in the slightest order at all because your subconsciousness made you play with it. But you looked so happy and your smile way so relaxed.

"Why are you yelling so loud here, man?" - A completely different voice cut through the conversation. It was a bit higher than Steve's and it was way smooth with a seriously strong accent. - "Is that, oh damn." - The man laughed while you smiled at the ways Steve demanded the man leaving his room.

"I'm Sam! Nice to meet you, Steve's girl!" - He yelled before the door shut. Steve grunted out loud. That was so sweet.

"So you're telling them about me, I suppose? Was that Sam or James?" - You giggled, making Steve grunt again. Sam knew which moments to choose.

"That was Sam. I told them about you, however, the girlfriend thing is something Sam had made up." - Steve choked in defeated voice.

"Don't worry. It's fine. It made me laugh." - You calmed Steve down about Sam's behaviour. It was pretty funny and sweet for you. Sam to Steve was definitely like Pete to you. Best cheering up fangirling friend you could ask for.

"That was nice." - Steve commented at your laugh so smoothly without a single doubt in his voice.

"Thank you." - A dazzled sight came out of your lips.

---

You two talked for what seemed like forever. It was a conversation about nothing - just a constant back and forward with a lot of nervousness, thank yous and sweet voices.

Steve was dazzled by your voice. He could listen to it before sleeping, with his eyes closed. Let me, as the narrator, tell you - you were such sweet dorks. Both nervous, out of your minds basically. This one phone call actually meant something to both of you. It was your first form of actual contact, just hearing the other side and being so breathless and speechless because both of you actually existed.

The texting was fine, sure. But it didn't feel like this. It wasn't as real as this.

Nothing could tell him how you laughed when his dorky ass made you chuckle somehow. The way you spoke was so calm, relaxing him to death. Or texting couldn't reveal your voice raising up when you got excited about remembering something.

When Sam peeked into Steve's room, he stood there in silence for a moment or two. Steve was standing up in from of a window, looking down on the street, telling that Y/N something in a quiet, humming tone.

"I don't want to interrupt you." - Sam spoke quietly, freaking Steve he hell out. The tall blonde turned to Sam, covering the phone with his hand. - "But we're about to watch Footloose."

"I'll be there in a minute." - Steve nodded sadly. He didn't want this to end even if it was as dorky and cheesy as it was. But a movie night with his fellas after Europe was a thing Steve was looking forward to.

"I need to go, Y/N." - Steve started slowly and he would swear that his heart hurt at those words. - "We're about to watch something called Footloose?"

"Oh, my dear lord. You've never ever seen Footloose? Are you serious?" - You asked in an unbelieving voice. - "THE Footloose with Kevin Bacon? Steve, you really make me feel like you're not from today's world. Deena told me she hoped that her prom would look like the ending scene, but you know, Kevin Bacon never came." - You giggled.

His stomach shrank at that remark. He's not from today's world. He's the man out of time. And you have no idea, you just joked.

"I think it's exactly the one with Kevin Bacon, yeah." - Steve circled his hand around his waist, sounding nervously all of the sudden. What was he thinking about? Of course that his true identity would hunt him eventually down, even in his little personal bubble he created with you.

"Yeah..." - You sighed and shut up for a second. - "Let's call it a night today, what do you say?"

"You're right, I should go or Sam and James would start without me." - Steve tried to sound as relaxed as he could. You couldn't recognize he hides something - you've heard him for the first time. You haven't got any idea that something's off.

"Would you call me tomorrow? It's your turn." - He teased you, but you grunted a little, giving the answer away.

"I can't tomorrow, I'm at work, then we have a choreography training and we have a ladies night... I won't be at home at all. I'm sorry." - You said sadly.

"Don't be sad about that, Y/N. I'm not little. Just tell me when and I'll take some time for you, alright?" - Steve asked to make you feel better.

He slowly realized that this will be like a drug to him. Once he tasted it, he would need more and more of it to even survive. There was no turning back now. Phone calls were something new, exciting, something he wanted to do until the dawn comes. Just to feel that he haves you closer than normally.

"Hope that will be soon. Now, I'll go to sleep and you'll go and enjoy Kevin Bacon's amazing rebel-ish and dancing method acting, ok? And enjoy Footloose, like that song. It's amazing. Bye, handsome." - You said with a happy voice.

"Goodnight, Y/N. I'll text you in the morning." - Steve sighed with a soft smile on his lips, ending the call. Yeah, maybe it would be really difficult to tell you who he is and maybe you'll freak out at hell - but at that moment? He felt like a pretty attractive school girl realizing that she is falling for a nerd from her Chemistry class.

Beautifully numb and so glad he couldn't even express it.

[katzuyas]

I’ve been tagged in so many things over the past couple of weeks that I honestly don’t even have much more bookmark space left in my browser RIP so I finally decided to do all of it at once, hence the title and the rest of this longass post under the cut

bc there’s a lot of the tag games down there and tagging a million people would be annoying, I’m gonna tag 10 of you to grab a dice and roll it to figure out which meme you’re tagged for ^u^)b if you roll the same number twice, count that meme as the start from which to count and roll again! I hope you like this idea, but it’s only a suggestion so feel free to do whatever you want tbh?

@sweet-vitya, @gabzjones, @and-then-yoi-happened, @etherealalchemist, @joeys-piano, @quadruplyyours, @yuliaplisetskaya, @dreaming-fireflies, @teekettle, @iwritebetterthanispeak, @chessala

enjoy, if you want! 💕💕

tagged by @endlesscloudsoftime, thank you for the tag!!

rules: answer 20 questions, then tag 20 bloggers that you want to get to know better.

1. Name: kat

2. Nicknames: same tbh

3. Height: 170cm

4. Orientation: who knows who cares (it’s pan)

5. Nationality: polish

6. Favorite fruit: mango, cherries, I love watermelon too but the seeds piss me off too much to fully enjoy it

7. Favorite season: anything that doesn’t make me sweat off my skin but isn’t also freezing my toes is more than fine with me ^u^)b

8. Favorite plant: I don’t think I have any favs here

9. Favorite scent: I have this yankee candle ‘sweet candies’ and I can just DIE wrapped in that scent holy sheet (when it comes to perfume tho I’m a sucker for the original chloe, but I also love calvin klein’s euphoria bc it’s just Fresh)

10. Favorite color: any pastel really

11. Favorite animal: MY SWEET PUPPER HINA (so yes, dogs)

12. Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: coffee sometimes, TEA AND GREEN TEA AND VANILLA CHAI!!!!!!, hot chocolate is a nope

13. Average sleep hours: I always try for 8h bc otherwise I’m a zombie, but it doesn’t always work out so... I’m a part-time zombie anyway lmao

14. Dog or cat person: ISN’T THE PIC PROOF ENOUGH THAT I LOVE MY FURRY DOGGO SON

15. Favorite fictional character: victor nikiforov. that’s it. that’s all. we can all go home now

16. Number of blankets you sleep with: 1 + a duvet bc I like being cosy

17. Dream trip: japan, always. but another one would be a trip to the harry potter universal store or the noble collection store I guess

18. Blog created: who even remembers this pffff (somewhen in august 2011 I think)

19. Number of followers: I’m just gonna say it’s a four number figure ;3c

20. Random fact: I’m currently rewatching lord of the rings and procrastinating writing so YES I’M A NERD AND A BAD PERSON AHAHA //sweats

tagged by @story-kat -- thanks love, I actually really like these so it was great fun to do 💕

Rules: using only song titles from one artist/band, cleverly answer the questions and then tag people

artist/band: one ok rock

what is your gender: stuck in the middle

how do you feel: jaded

if you could go anywhere: start again

favorite mode of transportation: mighty long fall

your best friend: wherever you are

favorite time of day: taking off

if your life was a tv show: liar

relationship status: hard to love

your fear: bombs away

tagged by @endlesscloudsoftime, thanks again!! ahaha I feel like I’ll be saying this a lot today, but you spoil me /)u(\

Rules: tag 9 people you want to know better or just because you feel like it.

Relationship status: taken ;3c

Favorite color: any pastels, really

Last song I listened to: still the lord of the rings ost

Last movie I watched: lord of the rings lol two towers ^u^)b

Top 3 tv shows: game of thrones (bc I love my fantasy shit), rein (bc I love my history shit), and american housewife (bc I love laughing and this show is Hilarious with the capital H)

Top 3 characters: victor nikiforov bc I adore him, hinata shouyou bc he’s my sunshine son and I gotta mention miyuki kazuya bc his smirks still keep me awake at night 😍😍😍

What I’m currently reading: honestly? my own writes bc I have no time for anything other than editing orz

tagged by @themayflynans and @endlesscloudsoftime, thank you both!! 💕

A - Age: 26

B - Birthplace: poland

C - Current time: 11:50am

D - Drink you last had: just some coke

E - Easiest person to talk to: nowadays it’s gotta be @saniika and @and-then-yoi-happened bc I know I can be as salty and upset as I feel when I talk to them and that it’s alright to just let it all out which is something I wish for everyone to have 💕

F - Favourite song: don’t have one tbh

G - Grossest memory: back in elementary school my class was in warsaw to see the big zoo there and one of the chimpanzees just projectile shat all over our teacher and it was simultaneously the most awesome and the fucking WORST bc she smelled like shit the whole trip back home ugh

H - Horror yes or horror no: depends on what kind of horror but generally? meh

I - In love?: no idea tbh but definitely comfortable in my relationship

J - Jealous of people?: you’ve no idea. jelly and bitter.

L - Love at first sight or should i walk by again?: walk by and actually tell me you’re interested bc I’m a blind pan who is easily confused

M - Middle name: magdalena ;3c

N - Number of siblings: 0

O - One wish: Been keeping Salty’s answers here - yes, to learn to love myself.

P - Person you called last: my mom lol she’s the only one I call, really

Q - Question you are always asked: "so when will you start looking for a job?”

R - Reason to smile: VICTUURI!!!!!!!!!!!!!

S - Song you sang last: oh man I don’t even remember, I don’t really sing out loud

T - Time you woke up: these days? 6:30am

U - Underwear colour: sea green-blue, turquoise?

V - Vacation destination: I’m going to japan next year to see ice adolescence even if it kills me

W - Worst habit: biting the inside of my cheeks bloody

X - X-rays: my hand when I had a small accident playing badminton, my jaw for my braces

Y - Your favourite food: PIZZA HELLO

Z - Zodiac sign: gemini ;3c

tagged by @theexitgarden and @endlesscloudsoftime, bless you both and thank you for thinking of the old me 💕 

1st RULE: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better:

we’ll be skipping this one bc of reasons //sweats

2nd RULE: BOLD the statements that are true.

APPEARANCE: - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo -I have at least one piercing - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY: - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY: - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory- I am good at doing math in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES: - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority- I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES: - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite bands concert

MY LIFE: - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling- I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smartphone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS: - I am in a relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM: - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages - I have made a new friend in the past year

tagged by @story-kat and @endlesscloudsoftime (astea m’dude ur tagging me in everything and I love you for it)

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE SONG(S) TO SING?

I will most often hum or mouth lyrics when I’m writing and my brain gets distracted so it usually is some sort of acoustic cover of a rather popular song, like despacito? lol WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE FLOWER/TREE/PLANT?

I don’t have one tbh FAVOURITE COLOURS?

anything pastel!! WHAT DO YOU ALWAYS DOODLE?

I don’t anymore but it used to be some random squigglies??

HOW DO YOU TAKE YOUR COFFEE/TEA?

2.5 teaspoon of sugar into both + 1/4 milk/cream into the coffee and 1/4 cold water into the tea FAVOURITE CANDLE SCENT?

SWEET CANDIES FROM YANKEE CANDLE. BURY ME IN THIS. SUNRISE OR SUNSET?

sunrise bc I don’t even see sunsets anymore (I’m asleep then lol) WHAT PERFUME DO YOU WEAR?

the original chloe is what I like most but I would die for dior’s j’adore, it’s so nice 😍😍😍 in the summer I’m wearing masaki’s fluo tho bc it’s sweet and summery

WHAT’S YOUR GO-TO DANCE MOVE WHEN YOU’RE ALONE?

butt wiggling? maybe? idk man I never really thought about it? lol FAVOURITE QUOTE?

“Because people don’t have wings, we look for other ways to fly.” -- somehow this one always sticks with me bc it’s so beautiful and vivid that you’d never say it’s from a japanese cartoon lmao

FAVOURITE SELF CARE ROUTINE(S)?

sleeping, kicking back and watching some dumb movie that won’t make me think of anything but how dumb it is

FUZZY SOCKS OR HOUSE SLIPPERS?

both? I like fuzzy socks in winter but in summer I go barefoot but sometimes u gotta have something between your skin and the floor so = slippers WHAT COLOUR ARE YOUR EYES?

brown

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE EYE COLOUR ON OTHERS?

I don’t honestly care but blue eyes when they’re very light creep me out somehow FAVOURITE SEASON? WHY?

don’t have one but as long as it’s not too hot or too cold I’m good NECK, CHEEK, OR NOSE KISSES?

depends on what you want to achieve? neck kisses will have me melting, cheek kisses smile and nose kisses giggle and possibly blush so YEA THERE’S THAT

WHAT DOES YOUR HAPPY PLACE LOOK LIKE?

it’s my room. that’s it. this is my happy place

FAVOURITE BREED OF DOG?

ANY DOGGO IS A GOOD DOGGO AS LONG AS IT’S NOT THOSE SMOL ONES WHO BITE UR ANKLES FOR NO REASON DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE MARRIED?

idk, I mean yes I’d like to be married one day but I’m not really in any hurry to get there? CURSIVE OR PRINT?

I don’t honestly care

FAVOURITE WEATHER?

cloudy but not too cold

tagged by @story-kat, thanks for the tag babe!!

Rules: bold what you prefer and tag 10 people.

coffee or tea

early bird or night owl

chocolate or vanilla

spring or fall

silver or gold (BOTH! BOTH IS GOOD)

pop or alternative

freckles or dimples

snakes or sharks

mountains or fields

thunderstorm or lightning

Egyptian or Greek mythology

ivory or scarlet

flute or lyre

eyes or lips

witch or fairy

opal or diamond

butterflies or honeybees

macaroons or eclairs

typewritten or handwritten letters

secret garden or secret library

rooftop or balcony

spicy or mild

opera or ballet

London or Paris

Vincent van Gogh or Claude Monet

denim or leather

potions or spells

ocean or desert

mermaid or siren

masquerade ball or cocktail party

tagged by @endlesscloudsoftime, thanks for this omg I actually wanted to do this one!! 💕💕

THE AO3 TAG GAME:

WHAT IS YOUR TOTAL WORD COUNT ON AO3?

869 938! holy sheet I’m so close to 1mil???? wowowow o.O

HOW OFTEN DO YOU WRITE?

I try to write every day, but these days (with renovations going on and my sleeping schedule all fucked up) it’s really hard to find the time and focus to do it orz

DO YOU HAVE A ROUTINE FOR WRITING?

I actually do! or I did when I was still regularly writing lol it was something like this: cracking open an energy drink, lighting up my fav scented candle, booting up itunes and my writing playlist and generally just spending 5-6h just writing 💕  

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE KINKS/TROPES/PAIRING?

kinks: pet play, public or semi-public play, voyeurism, doggy style, also actually BOTTOM VITYA,      

tropes: reverse au, time travel, famous aus,

pairing: victuuri. no seconds. we die like man and only stan one (1) gay ship

DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE FIC OF YOURS?

I don’t necessarily have an absolute fav but a fic that I still remember fondly and am beyond sad that got little to no attention is: if there’s a will, there’s a way bc I worked my ass off for it and I love every bit of it so? give it a read if you want to?

YOUR FIC WITH THE MOST KUDOS?

dazzle me with gold which will be getting an update this weekend ;3c

ANYTHING YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOUR WRITING?

recently? everything. I’m just broken and idk how to fix it bc I can’t even find a good moment to try so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

NOW SOMETHING YOU DO LIKE (ABOUT YOUR WRITING)?

how sweet and soft everything is when I’m in a good mood bc victuuri deserves this kind of love and I’m so happy writing it for them 🙏🙏🙏

tagged by @amaanogawa, thanks so much ems!!!

1) How many works in progress to do you currently have in progress?

one actual wip and like... 5 more that just sit and wait their turn? //sweats

2) Do you/would you write fan fiction?

rip that’s all I write too... tbh I used to write original fiction before but I find myself much less constricted by fanfic? I can explore the characters here more than I can in original fiction where worldbuilding takes most effort

3) Do you prefer paper books or ebooks?

oh definitely paper! if I could I’d buy printed out fanfic too!

4) When did you start writing?

I was about 12 I think? it all started with harry potter, like everything else has, and I regret not a second of it!

5) Do you have someone you trust that you share your work with?

sometimes when i get very excited about what i’m writing i’ll tell my fandom friends about the specific AU that i’m writing about but in terms of reading the full length fic, i don’t have anyone that i let read before anyone else. it’ll be on ao3 for everyone at the same time.

6) Where is your favourite place to write?

my desk, my pc. I can write on my phone but I like to edit as I go and it’s hard to do on the phone.

7) Favourite childhood book?

do I even need to say it? harry potter

8) Writing for fun or writing for publication?

for fun, but with the aim of possible future publication maybe?

9) Pen and paper or computer?

always computer. i have only recently begun writing fics on my phone because i’ve been traveling a lot and i don’t always have my laptop on my person, but it’s still much more comfortable to sit down and type on a proper keyboard.

10) Have you ever taken any writing classes?

at my uni, yes. and it completely sucked bc they didn’t teach anything, just had us write random shit for 3 years so eh

11) What inspires you to write?

everything? like, any random thing or thought I’m instantly trying to weave into my writing, turn it into a prompt. every new experience is just a basis for me to write on.

but if you’re asking WHY I write: I don’t even know, I’ve never thought about it? it’s kind of like asking why I breathe ahaha I just do? it’s a part of me? idk man idk

tagged by @themayflynans, thanks for this love!!

7/7/7 tag

The rules are as follows: Go to page 7 of your WIP, go to the seventh line, share seven sentences, and tag 7 more writer-bloggers to continue the challenge.

oh wow ok this is a difficult one bc I don’t think I even have a wip 7 pages long //sweats let me see... aha, okay, I found one! from back in march when I asked people to send me over some numbers for one of those writing memes and @theexitgarden I believe (??) sent me the prompt “I don’t think anyone could be as lovely as you” for victuuri and I kind of got a blind!victor au from it?? wELP here’s the fragment of it:

His music is vibrant in a way that he couldn't play on his piano alone and the clap of the blades that he can hear from the speakers of his TV makes him only more certain – this boy, Yuuri Katsuki, is skating to the sound of Victor's soul as if it's his own.

He never notices the tears that well up in his eyes until they roll down his cheeks and Makkachin presses against his side, whimpering in concern. Victor runs a trembling hand through her soft fur and takes a deep breath. And then, he decides.

"Yasha," he says when his former coach, his father in all but blood picks up Victor’s call. "I want to do this."

And he does it.

tagged by @endlesscloudsoftime again, boy you spoil me ahaha

1. Which fictional character would be the most boring to meet in real life?

I have no idea tbh bc even the characters I don’t like wouldn’t be exactly boring, so??? I honestly don’t know

2. What problem or situation did TV / movies make you think would be common, but when you grew up you found out it wasn’t? (i’m lowkey taking a jab at hsm because thanks Disney for making me think high school would be awesome)

hooking up with people ALL THE TIME when you’re in your 20s bc wtf what a bold-faced lie omg

3. What would be on the gag reel of your life?

"how many times can kat click her tongue at random strangers who piss her off by breathing the same air?” and a manip of all the eyerolls I do bc let me tell you... THERE’S A LOT

4. What does “infinite” mean to you?

my love for victor nikiforov

5. If your life was a movie, what songs would be on the soundtrack?

definitely lots of acoustic vibes and harry potter tunes and I can bet your ass that I’d have the yeah yeah yeah ost from yoi bc it’s such a banger and I LOVE IT but also dramatic classical violin and piano bc they pull on my heart and I am weak

6. What item would be your top choice to make into a horcrux?

honestly? my phone probably. I don’t necessarily have other things close to me that I’d use with enough heart to be of any significance to me

7. Who would play you in a movie about your life?

??? no idea lol I’d love for it to be katherine mcnamara bc 1) we share names, 2) her red hair is gorgeous and I’m a redhead, 3) SHE is gorgeous and I’d love to be portrayed by someone that hot 😍😍😍

8. Most relatable scene from any book/movie/anime/etc.?

yuuri’s little gasp when he first saw victor skating bc HARD SAME MY SWEET SON HARD SAME

9. If you were shrunk down and somehow got stuck in a blender, how would you get out?

I’d jump from side to side of it to try and rock it a bit and see if I can flip it over and get out that way? idk man what is this question lol

10. Would you count manga as a piece of literature? Why or why not?

ofc I would? honestly, some manga have even better storylines than written fiction why WOULDN’T it be counted as a piece of literature

11. compliment yourself. (joey, you’re just to freaking good to at making up questions).

oh man... //sweats umm??? good job me on not breaking down yet bc the renovations keep being awful and you’re handling it well?? maybe lol

tagged by @theexitgarden, thanks love, once more!

RULES: Choose any three fandoms (in random order) and answer the questions, then tag 10 people you want to know better.

Three Fandoms:

Yuri!!! on Ice

Ace of Diamond

Haikyuu!!

The First Character You Loved:

victor. he’s voiced by suwajun, do I really need to say more?

miyuki!! gosh I do love my asshole sons snarky and mean

hinata bc he’s a ray of sunshine and I even named my doggo after him 💕

The Character You Never Expected To Love So Much:

I gotta copy you garden bc chris took me by surprise too! my love for him started from that little sad look he gave us in the kiss and cry and it blossomed beautifully over time ahhh

sanada omg?? he is literally baseball kuroo so I was not expecting it but I fully embraced it lmao

iwaizumi bc I’m not one to like the mothering types but he’s??? actually so kind and sweet under all that harsh Manly facade it’s so cute

The Character You Relate To The Most:

victor, I’d say, or so I like to think

honestly? miyuki. just look at my url lol

oikawa, probably...

The Character You’d Slap:

I wouldn’t actually, but yurio deserves a good kick on the butt

um??? kataoka? bc TF U MEAN U DON’T KNOW WHO THE ACE SHOULD BE WE KNEW IT FROM THE FIRST CHAPTER YOU DUMBASS

early tsukki bc he’s could use it tbqh

Three Favorite Characters (in order of preference):

victor, yuuri, chris

miyuki, eijun, mei

hinata, kuroo, oikawa

A Character You Liked At First, But Don’t Anymore:

no one like that in yoi tbh, my love is only growing

kataoka lol

umm???? idk

A Character You Didn’t Like At First But Do Now:

seung-gil, I’d say. he grew on me lol

raichi, I guess??

to say tsukki, I’d have to actually like him now but it’s more difficult than that bc I didn’t like him at first but now can tolerate him so?? does it count?

Three OTPs:

victuuri, phichimetti, and the third would be very problematic bc I honestly don’t ship anything else in yoi?

miyusawa, chrisawa, sanasawa

KUROHINA YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, oihina, bokuhina

tagged by @sleep-furiously, thanks for the tag, love!!

post five facts about myself ❤

I have a sweet doggo who is the light of my life 💕

I write good shit sometimes

I believe I have good taste

I’m a snark machine when certain buttons are pressed

patience levels run at 0%

wow ok this was A LOT to go through and it took me like 3h to do this holy sheet but at least I had fun and now I have my firefox bookmark free so that’s awesome ahhh!! thanks so much again to everyone for the tags, you guys are amazing and I’m lucky to have you 💕💕💕💕

[somestoriessomewhereelse]

Inktober 2019

1 – Ring

I love you. I always have and I always will. And I love you enough to be sure you’re my one. I want you by side always and forever. But I won’t make the same mistake twice: I won’t buy you a ring. I won’t trap you in a promise, promises can lead only to disappointment. I love you and I let you free to love me back unconditionally. Because I know you will.

2 – Mindless

“Don’t think, just obey.”, that’s how you prefer them right? When they is so high and gone they can’t say you “no” anymore. Well, too bad for you I’m not like them, I can’t stop my train of thoughts even if I wanted it – and trust me, I want it, so bad. I can’t be the mindless slut you’d like to fuck in the club’s bathroom. But here’s a secret: just pretend that you love me and I’ll be yours.

3 – Bait

Once upon a time there was this gorgeous rose in the garden. I smelt her heady scent first, taking deep intoxicating breaths. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her, and her carmine petals was lips I wanted to kiss forever. I was in love – so I thought. One windy night I was fascinated by her dancing with the moon, and my body suddenly moved to hers, against hers, to share this dance. But I had forgotten the truth about roses: the most beautiful, the deathliest their thorns.

4 – Freeze

The water’s blue, the ice is cold, when I see you my heart sees gold.

I don’t know what to write today, my mind is like an ice cube. I need some warm human flesh to make my body anew in motion. Thank god it’s Friday!

5 – Build

How can I build anything when I have no strong foundations to begin with? How can I make today a beautiful day after such a wonderful party who left me happiest but so empty? I'm the opposite of Persephone, with no strenght to rebuilt the day what I destroyed during the night.

6 – Husky

I love being on all fours, showing you everyting you want to see from me. I’m obedient, I follow orders. But don’t make the mistake of thinking I won’t bite you.

7 – Enchanted

First beat of the song and I’m already under its spell. The drums, the basses, I let myself go and lose every control; my body is not mine anymore, it belongs to the dance-floor, and I’m chained to the rhythm for the night. Being one with the melody, making love with every sound, expressing freedom during hours. This witch is my favorite to be controlled by, and her name is sooo thrilling: the Dance.

8 – Frail

It takes a lot of strength to own ones weaknesses, a lot of courage to be vulnerable. That’s all.

9 – Swing

Turning myself from one bed side to another, having my mood going up in the clouds and below the ground, feeling time through hopes and anxieties, living in contrasts and instability; I introduce to you: the Fall Depression \o/

Fall, what a great synonym of autumn; yeah it really feels like everything dropped.

10 – Pattern

Ok today I won’t talk about bad feelings – even tho it would be soooo easy.

Patterns. I love them, I look for them, they makes me feel safe. When I understand and predict, my Capricorn mind can finally relax. This is why I love astrology: with their chart I can have an approach on people, an insight in their mechanisms and anticipate their reactions, and so behave accordingly. I feel like I can be a better person with them – while knowing that like all beliefs I can also be wrong and do bad stuffs. But I least I know it, and I try my best eh.

11 – Snow

Christmas yeah, holidays why not, but THIS, this is the reason why I’m waiting for winter with so much excitement! To open the stores and see everything so white, so pure, so pristine; to feel like a child again, far away from the muddy wars and the melting ices; just to breath a little and feel at peace one more time.

12 – Dragon

In every Magikarp sleeps a Gyarados, be careful who you underestimate.

And every Gyarados had a Magikarp life, don’t assume they’re always strong.

13 – Ash

“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust”, we are nothing at the scale of the Universe. Life started way before us and prosper way after us, and there is nothing we can do that time won’t erase. But it doesn’t mean there nothing we can do: we can meet people, because it’s in people’s heart we can be remembered. So let’s fall in love, let’s create happiness, let’s bring joy to everyone around. I want to believe that love will last longer than hate, I want to believe y’all will forgive me for the pain I caused, and remember be for the love I brought.

14 – Overgrown

Well Instagram won’t let me talk about my dick soooo…

Being invaded by the Nature… picture it. No more power to charge up our phones, no more wi-fi to connect to others, no more anything just the primal green like millenniums ago. This is what could happen if we lose the fight against the Earth that will take place during the next decade. But what does it have to be a fight? Why can’t we just make peace and work hand in hand with our environment? so there will be only winners. I’m just saying. Because I’m sure if we battle, one way or another we will lose.

15 – Legend

My biggest fear is dying forgotten, is that one day everyone I know don’t even know my name. I’m not looking for fame, I just hope by my time here I can do enough to have a nice legacy, and proofs for the next generations I existed, I mattered, I was someone.

16 – Wild

For those who don't know me, I can get a bit crazy: I have to get my way twenty-four hours a day, 'cause I'm hot like that. Every guy, everywhere, just gives me mad attention, like I'm under inspection. I always get a ten, ‘cause I'm built like that. I go through guys like money flying out the hands. They try to change me, but they realize they can't. And every tomorrow is a day I never plan. If you're gonna be my man understand I can't be tamed. If there is a question about my intentions, I'll tell ya: I'm not here to sell ya, or tell you to go to hell – I’'m not a brat like that. I'm like a puzzle, but all of my pieces are jagged; if you can understand this, we can make some magic – I'm wrong like that. I wanna fly, I wanna drive, I wanna go, I wanna be a part of something I don't know, and if you try to hold me back I might explode. Baby, by now you should know I can't be tamed. Well I'm not a trick you play, I'm wired a different way; I'm not a mistake, I'm not a fake, it's set in my DNA. Don't change me: I can't be changed, I can't be tamed.

17 – Ornament

Makeup is not only embellishment, it’s also my way to build an armor I can go through life with: the most colorful I look, the most powerful I feel. And it would take me the same amount of energy to restrain myself by fear and shame as to be fully free and happy and my true self, so I prefer being myself sorry not sorry.

18 – Misfit

When I was younger I had hard times to fit in the society’s mold – still today. They said I was too small, to fragile, to fem, bla bla bla. As a kid I wanted to fit in, and I tried my best to be as they expected me to be. But today I don’t want to fit in, I don’t want anymore to be shaped as the way you want; I want to belong, no matter who I am, and mostly who I have the potential to be.

19 – Sling

You have the weapon. And this is your target. Just aim at them, and shoot. But be wise: you only have one chance.

20 – Tread

Just some airport memories: I’m back from the longest trip of my life and you’re waiting for me to take us home. I want to leave with you, but I have to get my luggage first. So I’m waiting too, we’re just standing there hand in hand, and the time goes so slowly we could fall asleep. But instead, we fall in love.

21 – Treasure

I’ve been sailing for many years to find you, but it was worthy and now I don’t want to ship away from you. I landed on the nice beach of your body, I caressed the sand of your skin, I tasted the salt of your foam, I listened to the echoes of your moans, I smelled that love was in the air. And I saw, I saw your beauty, and I still can see it when my eyes are closed and I dream to feel you against me. Shine bright like a diamond, shine bright like you.

22 – Ghost

We all know that story. Once upon a time there was this gorgeous person sending you a message. You talk, talk, talk, exchange secrets and hopes, make plans and promises. One day, you meet, and it’s one of the most fabulous day of your life, one you will remember for ages. You feel happy, fulfilled, confident for your future with them. But they is then nowhere to find, no more messages, no more secrets, no more plans, no more nothing. You are alone, haunted by all these brightest memories that now make you cry.

23 – Ancient

I think a lot about my grandma, how old she has become these last years, how sick, how less capable to live alone, and how alone. I know I should call her more often, I know I know I know; but I feel bad when I call, when she forgets her train of thoughts, when sometimes can’t even say my name. I remember these nights when she was dancing at the balls, when we used to play card games and domino, I still can hear her laugh. Why time had to run that fast?

24 – Dizzy

Weed, poppers, ecstasy, cocaine, or just this glass of wine before going to bed. I’d take anything to be just a little bit less myself. Sometimes I can’t stop hating who I was, hating who I am, hating who I could be but I’m not – I could change, but I’m lazy. Drugs are so much easier to take, they love my denial, they find home in my body, and I love them back for how they make me feel. I know I’ll cry tomorrow for each smile they offer me this night, but who cares of tomorrow?

25 – Tasty

You know I look good, but I taste ever better. My lips are always sugar-flavored, with this nice candy package hidden in my pockets. Sometimes I suck a lollipop, sometimes I chew a piece of flesh. Kiss me, lick me, bite me, and you’ll admit the sweetest truth: my name is not Flöra Délice for nothing.

26 – Dark

We all have a darker side and in our manichean world it’s in the darkness we can find the light, in the wrong we can learn to be right, after the lies we can accept the truth bla bla bla fuck you and fuck your binarity: embrace all the shades of yourself, open up to the nuances of humanity, deconstruct your black-and-white world where we’re all moving colors. There is no god or bad people, there are just people trying to do what they think it’s the best for the others or for themselves.

27 – Coat

A second skin up to my nails. A jacket I can put on whenever I want just because I can. The extra colors I need to feel myself.

28 – Ride

You’re like a roller-coaster: there’s some ups, there’s some downs, always moving and always fast; you make me worry before, you make me scream during, you make me breathless after; but I have to admit I always feel good adrenaline when I’m with you, and I lack your energy when you leave. In the end, it’s true what it’s said: the rush is worth the ride.

29 – Injured

Today my right leg is still hurting. Long story short I drank too much and danced more than usual – my body wasn’t ready. Nothing really bad I hope, but I’m still concerned as usual. I just hope I’ll be fine for Halloween, because missing a party because of a party is not my aesthetics. Not at all.

30 – Catch

Tomorrow, I’ll be yours and you’ll be mine. That’s all I’ll be saying, but how knows to how many people? I mean it’s gonna be the Halloween party, there’s gonna be a lot of monsters, and I’m gonna suck catch ‘em all!

31 – Ripe

Everything that starts has already ended.

The day has come. It is today that all rises to its end. The finish line, the last moments. Will we stay together tomorrow? I always wonder “what will be tomorrow? will it ever come?”, because I fear what’s coming, I fear these times of the year. But tomorrow is somewhere somewhere else, and it’s today that has to count, so let’s make the best it. Let’s be together.

[spectroamer]

Servertale Chapter 7: Partners

Frisk goes in the first shop she sees. It’s right next to the Snowdin sign. When she enters, she is greeted by a monster that looks like a purple rabbit. The monster happily greets her. “Hello, traveller. How can I help you? Frisk: What can I do in Snowdin? “Well: Grillby’s has food, and the library has information... If you’re tired, you can take a nap at the Inn. It’s right next door - my sister runs it. And if you’re bored, you can sit outside and watch those wacky skeletons do their thing. There’s two of ‘em... Brothers, I think. They just showed up one day and... asserted themselves. The town has gotten a lot more interesting since then. Frisk: Yeah, I’ve met them. “Really? Then you probably had some fun already.” Frisk: And how are you doing?  “Life is the same as usual. A little claustrophobic...” Frisk: Oh. “But... we all know deep down that freedom is coming, don’t we? As long as we got that hope, we can grit our teeth and face the same struggles, day after day... That’s life,  ain’t it?” Frisk: Yes, it is... in a way. Frisk buys one Cinnamon bun and starts to head out of the store. “Bye now! Come again sometime!” Frisk exits the store and touches the nearby star. Chara: The sight of such a friendly town fills you with determination. 01000110 01101001 01101100 01100101 00100000 01110011 01100001 01110110 01100101 01100100  Frisk goes to the inn. In there, a rabbit monster with a small bunny is working. Frisk walks up to the small bunny. “Mom says that sleeping can recover your above your maximum HP... What’s maximum HP?” Frisk: Sorry little guy, I don’t know that neither. The bigger monster smiles from their conversation. “Welcome to Snowed Inn! Snowdin’s premier hotel! One night is 80G.” Frisk: Oh, don’t worry about that, i don’t plan to stay too long. “Wait. Are you Frisk?” Frisk looks surprised at her, not expecting anyone knowing her name. Frisk: Yes, how did you know? “Sans told me that you’re his friend, after all, who isn’t. That skeleton is known through the whole underground. You’re in luck, he already gave me some G in case you come here to rest.” Frisk: Oh, well that’s nice. Chara: How does he know your name? “As much as lazy he is, he’s still great at helping people out.” The monster gives a key to Frisk. There’s a small piece of paper attached to the key. A 7 is written on it. “That’s the key to your room. Sleep well!” Frisk: Thank you. Frisk climbs upstairs and goes to her room. The room looks very small, but in a good way. The carpet has 3 hearts on it, there is a lamp in a corner of the room, a window, 2 tables and a bed. Frisk gets on the bed and enjoys the softness of it. Frisk: This is so cozy. Chara: Well, at least I don’t have to worry about being comfortable if i don’t have a body. Frisk: Good point. Hey, since you’re not sleeping, be sure to wake me up after a few hours, we don’t want to keep Papyrus waiting. Chara: Now that’s some positive thinking. Frisk: Yeah, I know. Frisk sets up her pillow and falls asleep a few minutes later. Ne is calling Slasher to inform him of the plan. Slasher: Hey. Ne: New plan. Amy is getting into the base of the Sentinels and you are going to help. Slasher: Ok. Does she know about the plan? Ne: Yeah, she’s here with me in my house. Slasher: So, you two are alone there, right? Ne: Yes, why do you ask? Slasher: Did you confess to her yet? Ne: DUDE! Slasher: I’m just saying. Home alone, you have a chance to be romantic and stuff. Admit that you so want to hug her right now. Ne: Seriously, stop. Slasher: Maybe a little smooch? Ne: I will risk cracking my soul, just so I could teleport to you and slap you all the way to the closest large area of water. Slasher: Fine, fine, I’ll stop. Ne: Thank you. Now, I need you to contact our friend, since I believe that we will need more people and equipment in the future. Slasher: No problem. Ne: Right now, I need you to bring the grapple gun, a tracker and an earpiece for Amy. We’ll meet a few blocks before their base so I can tell you the details. Slasher: Sure, I’ll start packing now. Ne: Great, see ya later. Ne ends the call. Amy: Well that call sounded fun. Ne: Don’t ask. Now, come on, we need to get ready to go. While Ne puts on his gear and Amy dyes her hair, Slasher is packing his stuff in the backpack. He’s taking his pistols, the things Ne listed, some grenades and two knives. When Amy is done with getting ready she starts going to the garage. Ne: Where are you going? Amy: To my car. I left it in the garage. Ne: I’m not sure if it’s a good idea for you to drive your civilian vehicle while on a mission. Amy: Don’t worry, I upgraded it. Come, take a look. Amy and Ne walk in to the garage to see her normal nissan 350z. Ne: I don’t see anything different. Amy takes a remote from her pocket. Amy: Give me a second. As she pushes a button, The normal white paint starts to turn black, some parts as the rims, the bottom of the bumpers and the skirts start to shine with purple light and the back part of the car opens up, to reveal a small turret rising from it. Amy: Fully armored, the glass and tires are bullet proof and the best part is, all of this toggles with a press of a button. Oh and don’t worry about the turrets, they use the same energy as my pistols, so they’re not lethal. Ne: How did you make this? Amy: I didn’t, it was all Slasher. Ne: That makes more sense. Exit the garage in normal mode, when you’re in a small street, then change the mode. Amy: and what about you? Ne: I’ll just leave these stripes in a nearby locker and put on my helmet. With my bike, I’ll be there in a few seconds. Amy: Ok. Ne exits through the back door and runs to the nearest locker. He enters the password and opens the locker. Taking off his stripes, he reveals his bright neon blue panels. When he leaves the stripes, he closes the locker. He puts on his helmet and the visor turns blue as well. Ne goes to the street, creates his bike and drives off to the meeting point. A few seconds after he started driving, he passes Amy and gives her a quick wave. She does the same. As slasher gets off his bike, he sees Ne, and then Amy as well. Ne just jumps away from his bike, turns it back to energy and absorbs it, while Amy parks the car nearby and gets out. Slasher: I see the modifications are working as intended. Amy: Yup, the upgrade’s great. Slasher: Glad to hear that. Ne: Ok, here’s the gameplan. Ne uses his energy to create a small map of the Sentinels’ building and the surrounding area. Ne: Slasher, you will create a distraction at the front entrance here, while Amy waits behind the wall. Be sure to knock out as many of the guards you can before they have time to inform the rest of the group. When they start chasing you, lead them as far away as possible, giving Amy time to get into their base with minimum number of enemies. She need to find their computers, so that we can know what information they have and destroy as much as possible. Amy, since the windows are small and barred, you won’t be able to go through them, but you will use Slasher’s grapple gun to climb there and search for the room with the computers from the outside wall. I will watch both of you from above to give you information if your mission is compromised, or in case you need backup. Amy: Got it. Ne: Slasher, give the grapple gun, the tracker and the earpiece to Amy. Slasher: Ok, just gimme a second. Slasher puts down his backpack and opens it. From the backpack, he takes out the gear and hands it to Amy. Slasher: Here you go. By the way, where do you intend to hold that grapple gun, you don’t have any free holsters. Amy: I’ll just carry it in my hand. Ne: Everyone ready? Amy: Yes. Slasher: Lets do this. Ne: Than, in that case, good luck! Ne charges the neon bullets in his hands and shoots them on the ground bellow him, sending him up on the roof of the small store and then turns on the team communication. He looks at the Sentinels’ base. It consists of three huge buildings that have a formation that looks like the corners of a triangle. He sees Slasher and Amy approaching the walls to the entrance to the yard of the buildings. Slasher is quietly pushing his bike and sets it beside the wall. Ne: You have one guard with an smg right at your side of the entrance. Slasher quietly gets to the edge of the wall. When he hears the guard checking his gun, he quickly runs up to him and knocks him out with one punch. After the guard is down, Slasher drags him outside of the yard and brings in his bike. A few meters further, he hears a guard walking around behind a huge crate. Luckily to Slasher, there were a lot of crates in the yard. Unluckily for him tho, he was never good at being quiet. As slasher peeks, he sees the guard walking around with a small pistol in his hand. Slasher tries to sneak up to him, but the guard turned around and saw him. The guard points his gun at Slasher and starts walking to him. Slasher raises his hands. “Well would you look at that, it’s my lucky day. Any last words punk?” Slasher: Yeah. Your definition of a lucky day is weird. As he said that, Slasher broke the shooting hand of the guard, making him drop his gun and scream in pain. than kicked him into the crate. The guard got knocked out from the impact. Seconds later another guard runs in the area. “Dude, you okay? I he- The first second Slasher saw that the guy had a silenced pistol, he didn’t mind not disarming him. After all, if only he came after that screaming, no one else would hear a silenced pistol. Slasher just takes one of his knives and throws it into the leg of the guard. The guard accidentally fires his gun while grabbing the crate to remain his balance. While the bullet missed Slasher, it hit one of the mirrors on Slasher’s bike, creating a small crack in it. Ne starts to contact Amy. Ne: Change of plans, get ready to hide in a few seconds. Amy: Why? Slasher notices the damage and angrily takes out his guns. Slasher: Did you just shoot my bike?! Ne: You’ll hear it in a second. The guard had the chance to shoot Slasher, but currently, he was too scared to do anything. Slasher fires six bullets into the guard, even tho he fell down after two. Amy: Oh. As Slasher takes the knife out from the guard’s leg, the alarm starts to ring through the whole area. Slasher: Now, look what you did. If you are suffering in hell right now, than don’t say anything. The corpse isn’t much for conversation. Slasher: Good! The doors from all three of the buildings open, with many thugs running out of them, all armed. Slasher shoots a few before he gets on his bike and starts driving away. All of the thugs get in their vehicles and start following him. After all of them drive out of the yard, Ne informs Amy. Ne: You should be clear to enter now. Amy: Ok, thanks. Amy goes in the yard. The first thing she sees is the knocked out guard, than the one with the broken arm and the one with seven holes. Amy: Jeez, he really got mad. Ne: Well we all know what happens when someone damages his bike. Amy: Yeah, good point. Amy fires the grapple gun on one of the windows in the main building and starts climbing out. She sees some computers through the window of the forth floor. She climbs down and enters the main door. The first three floors don’t have anything except some guns and ammo. There aren’t even any guards. When she climbs the stairs up to the forth floor, she opens the door of the room with the computers just enough to see the guards in it. There are only three of them. She enters the room and shoots one with her pistol. The other two start running towards her. One of them has a baseball bat, while the other one has a small knife. She hits the first guy with the handle of her pistol, knocking him down and kicks the knife out of the hand of the seconds guy, than kicks him, before she finally shoots him, knocking him out as well. Amy: Ok, the room is secured. Ne: Great, now delete all the data they have. Amy: No problem. She starts going through their computer archives. Most of them are just maps of different buildings and location, but there are some interesting things about the Computer. They have some protected stuff about it, but she decides that it’s better to just delete it. After a few minutes, Ne starts to doubt her safety. Ne: I’m not sure if you should stay any longer, they wouldn’t leave their base empty for so long. Amy: Don’t worry, everything’s fine. Ne: I just don’t think that Ramirez would send every member just because slasher took down three guys. What if he finds you? What if Cobra finds you? Amy: I’m almost done anyway, i just have a few more files to delete and I’ll be on my way. She continues to delete everything she finds. They have so much data. If she had more time, she would have transferred it to an USB drive. Suddenly, both of the doors of the room are kicked open and some thugs with assault rifles run in. Behind one of the squads, Cobra walks in the room as well, being intimidating as ever. His flat voice sends a chill down her spine.  Cobra: Put your guns and gear on the table and step away from that computer. She does as told. Ne hears Cobra’s voice through Amy’s earpiece. Ne: Damn it! I need to get there fast. He jumps down from the roof he was standing on Cobra: Did you really think that you could just walk in here, expecting no resistance at all. How foolish. One of the thugs starts to talk, breaking the terrifying silence. “Boss, Do we take the shot, I can kill her right now. When Ne lands on the ground, he starts running towards the main building. Cobra: No, not yet. After all, she has valuable information. Tell me girl, what happened in the Computer room? Amy finds the courage to answer him. Amy: I’m not telling you anything. Cobra. Are you sure? Amy: I would bet my life in it. Cobra: you just did. Ne starts to run up the wall of the building. Cobra: And you lost. Ne phase shifts through the window and lands next to Amy. While she and the guards are surprised, Cobra is unfazed by the move. Cobra: Open fire. Before the bullets of the rifles get to their target, Ne creates shields around them that are in the shape of the edges of a square. The bullets are trapped within the lines of the shield, which is acting like some type of trampolines, bending as they stop the bullets from passing through, while still keeping them in its field. Ne calls it the vortex shield to make it simpler. The soldiers keep firing, but the shields are stopping all of the bullets. Amy notices that Ne won’t be able to hold those forever, so she starts panicking. She starts to think of a plan. Amy: [Come on, we need to get out. Both of the doors are blocked, there are enemies everywhere, and Mike won’t be able to hold the shields for much longer. What does Mike usually do in the situations like these. Well I heard Slasher talking about how he sings when he’s under stress, so I could try that. But what’s the fitting song? I thing Partners in crime should work with some lyrics changed. Ugh, no time to think about music, we need to escape this place. Wait, Mike has his neon blasters, he could just blast a hole in the wall, I would grapple to safety and he can jump from anywhere. Perfect. Now i just hope he will understand what I’m trying to do.] While the bullets are still flying, Ne stays focused on holding the shields. Amy just taps him on the shoulder and points to the wall. When she starts reaching for her grapple gun, Ne understands what she’s planing to do, but her singing surprises him. Amy: You’ll never take us alive! When Ne remembered the lyrics of the song she is singing, he could have sworn he felt his nonexistent heart skip a beat, but then he joined as well, making a small alteration. Ne: We swore that death will do us part. Ne creates a neon blaster and starts charging it. When Cobra realized what they were doing, he grabbed his sword and ran up to Ne, trying to hit him with it, but Ne blocked the attack with the panel on his right arm and kicked Cobra away. Ne’s blaster is fully charged. When it fires, it creates a huge hole in the wall. Amy fires the grapple gun to the other building. Ne: They’ll call our fight a work of art. Ne sends the bullets he caught with his vortex shield flying close above the thugs, distracting them as they jump down. When they both land, the start running together to her car. Ne creates another vortex shield over Amy and shoots a dew neon bullets, or bolts as he likes to call them at Cobra who is still in the building, but he blocks them easily. Cobra: Don’t bother following them, they’ll just humiliate you even further. One of the thugs respond. “we’re sorry boss.” Cobra: While I’m grateful for your apology, that doesn’t change the fact that they got away. Be hopeful that the other squads will capture Slasher. Ne and Amy get in her car, and she starts driving towards Slasher’s tracker, while Ne calls him. Ne: Hey, Slash, we got out, do you need help? Slasher: No, almost done here, but if you come fast enough, you’ll get to see the end of the show. Ne: Ok, see ya. Slasher: Bye. As the call is ended, slasher avoids one of the attacker’s punches and he hits him in the head with his elbow. When he notices one of the thugs running to him with a knife, he takes out his own combat knife. He dodges both of the thug’s attempts of cutting him and cuts him on his shooting arm, than kicks him down. After a few short rounds like that, he sees Amy’s car parking closely. Amy and Ne get out and are shocked by the number of corpses on the ground. Slasher quickly beats the last two guys and greets Ne and Amy. Slasher: Sup. Ne: How the hell did you do this? You don’t even have enough ammo for that many of them! Slasher: You’re right about that, but the suckers brought their own guns which are easily to steal when the user is on the ground if you know what I mean. Amy: Jesus, did you have to kill all of them? Slasher: I didn’t kill all of them. I’m pretty sure some of them are just in a coma. Ne: I never expected that I would hear “just a coma” as a good thing. Slasher: Well you learn something new every day. Ne: Just tell me how did you even get in this situation. Slasher: Well i was planing on running away on my bike peacefully, but the roadblocked most of the paths, making me go to this alley way. The only thing they did wrong was that they thought I was trapped with them, but they actually kinda trapped themselves with me. Amy: Ok, I’m gonna pretend I never saw or heard this and just go back to my house. Amy hands Slasher the grapple gun. Ne: Good call, see you later. Amy: Yeah, bye. Amy gets in her car and starts driving back to her house. Slasher: I swear, i wasn’t planing on killing any of them. Ne: Dude, forget about that, me and Amy just sang Partners in crime. Slasher: Like, while you were fighting? Ne: Yeah! Slasher: See, I told you she likes you. Ne: Maybe you were right. 2 hours later Frisk is starting to wake up. She sees Chara just looking through the window. She gets up from the bed and stretches. Frisk: Well that was a nice nap. Chara “jumps” from the sudden noise since she didn’t hear Frisk wake up. Chara: Did you sleep well? Frisk: Yeah, I did. Chara: If you plan to fight Papyrus, than you better watch out, not just anyone gets to be a royal guard. Frisk: Oh, come on, you heard what Sans said. Papyrus is way to nice to hurt anyone. Chara: But i don’t think a human fits into their description of “anyone”. Frisk: Good point. Don’t worry, I’ll be careful. Chara: that’s all I ask. Frisk exits her room and locks the door. She goes down the stairs and gives the key to the monster. “I hope you had pleasant dreams. Come back soon!” Frisk exits the small hotel and starts going further down the path. As she walks, she passes many monsters, Grillby’s, the “Librarby” and a interesting house. It has lights hanging all over it and two mailboxes. One of them is overflowing with unread junk mail. Chara: This is probably the house of the skeletons. She looks closer to the other mailbox. It’s labeled PAPYRUS. Frisk: Yup. Frisk continues to follow the path. As she gets further away from the town, it’s cheery music gets quieter and it starts to get really foggy. At one point, all she sees is a dark silhouette of a tall monster. Probably Papyrus. Papyrus: HUMAN. ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU ABOUT SOME COMPLEX FEELINGS. FEELINGS LIKE... THE JOY OF FINDING ANOTHER PASTA LOVER. THE ADMIRATION FOR ANOTHER’S PUZZLE SOLVING SKILLS. Chara: He is right about that, we beat all of those puzzles easily. Papyrus: THE DESIRE TO HAVE A COOL, SMART PERSON THINK YOU ARE COOL. Chara is flattered by the compliment, even tho she knows Papyrus is talking to Frisk. Papyrus: THESE FEELINGS...  THEY MUST BE WHAT YOU ARE FEELING RIGHT NOW!!! Chara: Of course. I should have known. Frisk barely stops herself from laughing at Chara’s disappointment. Papyrus: I CAN HARDLY IMAGINE WHAT IT MUST BE LIKE TO FEEL THAT WAY. AFTER ALL, I AM VERY GREAT. I DON’T EVER WONDER WHAT HAVING LOTS OF FRIENDS IS LIKE. I PITY YOU...  LONELY HUMAN... WORRY NOT!!! YOU SHALL BE LONELY NO LONGER! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL BE YOUR... Chara: We might even get to avoid fighting him. Papyrus turns around. Papyrus: NO, THIS IS ALL WRONG! I CAN’T BE YOUR FRIEND!!! YOU ARE A HUMAN!!! I MUST CAPTURE YOU!!! THAN, I CAN FULFILL MY LIFE LONG DREAM... POWERFUL! POPULAR! PRESTIGIOUS!!! THAT’S PAPYRUS!!! THE NEWEST MEMBER... OF THE ROYAL GUARD! Chara: Or not. Papyrus’ scarf flows in the wind, the spotless white of his armor blending in with the snow, the lights on it are the only things that are keeping him visible at the moment. He blocks the way. Papyrus: FIRST, LETS WARM UP, YOU WOULDN’T WANT TO HURT YOURSELF BEFORE THE TRUE BATTLE BEGINS! THAT WOULD BE UNFAIR NYEH HEH HEH!! Papyrus sends 3 short bones moving slowly towards Frisk. She easily moves out of the way with some spare time as well. Chara: We need a plan, he isn’t going to go easy on us forever. Frisk: Hey, Papyrus, wanna date later? Chara: THAT’S NOT A PLAN! Papyrus: WHAT!? FL-FLIRTING!? SO YOU FINALLY REVEAL YOUR ULTIMATE FEELINGS! W-WELL! I’M A SKELETON WITH VERY HIGH STANDARDS!!  Frisk: Uh, I can make spaghetti. Papyrus: OH NO!!! YOU’RE MEETING ALL OF MY STANDARDS!!! I GUESS THIS MEANS I HAVE TO GO ON A DATE WITH YOU... LET’S DATE L-LATER!! Chara: I can’t believe you right now. Papyrus sends another small row of bones while he’s thinking what to wear for his date. Frisk easily dodges them. Papyrus sends the same attack again. It’s needles to say Frisk has gotten used to it. Frisk: Come on Papyrus, I know you can do better. Chara: Don’t challenge him! We got an easy fight here.  Papyrus is thinking about what to cook for his date. While he distracts Frisk with another attack, he dabs some Bone Cologne behind his ear. Frisk still doesn’t attack. Papyrus: SO YOU WON’T FIGHT... THEN, LET’S SEE IF YOU CAN HANDLE MY FABLED “BLUE ATTACK!” Papyrus sends his new attack. All of the bones are blue. Frisk stands still as she watches the bones go through and around her. All that is left is one tiny bone slowly approaching. Frisk attempts to jump over it, but Papyrus turns her soul blue and she suddenly faceplants into the ground. She feels gravity getting stronger on her. Papyrus: YOU’RE BLUE NOW. THAT’S MY ATTACK! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!! Now the fight begins. Papyrus sends the small attack while he dabs MTT-Brand Bishie Cream behind his ear. After that, he sends a taller set of bones. Frisk dodges some, and jumps over the last ones. The effect of the blue soul makes jumping nearly impossible. Papyrus dabs MTT-Brand Anime Powder behind his ear. Frisk tries to to stop the fight. Papyrus: YEAH! DON’T MAKE ME USE MY SPECIAL ATTACK!  Chara: I wonder what that is. Papyrus sends bones flying high and sliding through the ground at Frisk. She jumps over the bones on the ground and hits away the flying bones with her light stick. Papyrus dabs MTT-Brand Cute Juice behind his ear. Papyrus: I CAN ALMOST TASTE MY FUTURE POPULARITY! Papyrus makes more complicated combinations of attacks. Frisk dodges all of them. She hears a sound of something sliding through the snow behind her. When she turns around, she sees a single bone, going towards her fast. She blocks the attack with her light stick. Papyrus: YOU HAVE TO TEACH ME THAT MOVE AFTER BATTLE!!! He dabs MTT-Brand Attraction Slime behind his ear. Papyrus: PAPYRUS HEAD OF THE ROYAL GUARD! Papyrus sends rows after rows of bones. Frisk trips on the last one, but her HP is still above max since she slept at the Inn. Papyrus dabs MTT-Brand Beauty Yogurt behind his ear. He keeps talking about his greatness. Papyrus: PAPYRUS, UNPARALLELED SPAGHETTORE! He continues to combine blue and normal, high and low, fast and slow attacks. Not a moment too early he realizes he doesn’t have ears. Papyrus: UNDYNE WILL BE REALLY PROUD OF ME!! Papyrus continues talking as he sends more attacks. Papyrus: THE KING WILL TRIM A HEDGE IN THE SHAPE OF MY SMILE!!! Papyrus sends a row of low attacks, which Frisk easily jumps over. He is traying hard to play it cool. Papyrus: MY BROTHER WILL... WELL, HE WON’T CHANGE VERY MUCH. Papyrus sends a faster set of bones. Frisk fails to dodge one pair and her HP drops to 18. Chara: Be careful. Frisk quickly recovers, ready for the next attack. Papyrus: I’LL HAVE LOTS OF ADMIRERS!! BUT... Papyrus sends an escalating row of bones to distract Frisk. He is clearly thinking about something. Papyrus: WILL ANYONE LIKE ME AS SINCERELY AS YOU? This time the bones Papyrus sends at Frisk are moving in the air, making it more complicated for her to predict their trajectory. Papyrus: SOMEONE LIKE YOU IS REALLY RARE... Chara: Especially since we’re humans. He continues talking through his attacks. Papyrus: AND DATING MIGHT BE KIND OF HARD... Frisk slowly starts to get tired from dodging and blocking. Papyrus: AFTER YOU’RE CAPTURED AND SENT AWAY. Papyrus is starting to get impatient. Papyrus: URGH... WHO CARES! GIVE UP!! Frisk still succeeds to dodge all of the bones, but she is getting slower after every move. Papyrus: GIVE UP OR FACE MY... SPECIAL ATTACK!!! One of the bones hits her arm. The pain gives her a small boost of adrenaline. Papyrus: YEAH!!! VERY SOON I WILL USE MY SPECIAL ATTACK! He sends another set of bones, this time, Frisk dodges them slightly faster. Papyrus: NOT TOO LONG AND I WILL USE THAT SPECIAL ATTACK! He starts to save his energy, by sending attacks with less bones. Papyrus: THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE... BEFORE MY SPECIAL ATTACK!! He sends another wave of normal and blue attacks. Frisk dodges all of them. Papyrus gets excited. Papyrus: BEHOLD...! MY SPECIAL ATTACK! His right eye starts to glow with a dark blue color, as he pulls out some kind of handle from his pocket. From the top of it, a blade starts to form. It is a big sword, made out of blue magic. Papyrus proudly lifts it up into the air and poses dramatically. Papyrus: BEHOLD HUMAN. THE SWORD OF TH- Before Papyrus gets to finish his speech, Toby comes running in and grabs the sword from Papyrus with his mouth. As Papyrus loses the grip on the sword, the energy dissolves. Papyrus: WHAT THE HECK! THAT’S MY SPECIAL ATTACK! The dog continues to chew on the handle. Papyrus: HEY! YOU STUPID DOG! Toby looks at papyrus and continues to hold the handle with his mouth. Papyrus: DO YOU HEAR ME!? STOP MUNCHING ON THAT SWORD!!! The dog starts to go away slowly with the sword. Papyrus: HEY!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!! COME BACK HERE WITH MY SPECIAL ATTACK!!! Frisk giggles at the small puppy carrying away the sword. Papyrus: THIS IS THE THIRD TIME HE DID SOMETHING LIKE THIS. OH WELL. I’LL JUST USE A REALLY COOL REGULAR ATTACK. Papyrus is getting ready for a regular attack. He is still disappointed about the dog stealing his sword. He sighs. Papyrus: HERE’S AN ABSOLUTELY NORMAL ATTACK. Papyrus sends bones flying in from every direction. Frisk dodges and blocks most of them but is still hit by one of them and she barely avoids tripping on Toby, who just ran through with the sword. Papyrus starts sending in attacks made out of bones that spell “COOL DUDE” and behind it a bone skating. She dodges the attack only to see a giant group of bones ahead of her. Frisk notices that there is no chance of her dodging or blocking all of them. Chara: Just jump as far as you can and hope that we survive the attack. Frisk gathers all of her strength and bravery as she jumps up. Suddenly, she starts to feel gravity being switched as she is pulled up in the air, over the attack. Chara: How are you doing that? Frisk says as quietly as possible “I have no idea”.  Papyrus is amazed by her agility. When she “flies over” the last bone, she starts to safely descend back to the ground. All of them are amazed by what just happened. As a last attempt, Papyrus sends one small bone slowly going towards Frisk. She just moves out of the way. Papyrus is too tired to continue fighting. Papyrus: WELL...! IT’S CLEAR... YOU CAN’T!... DEFEAT ME!!! YEAH!!! I CAN SEE YOU SHAKING IN YOUR BOOTS!!! THEREFORE I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, ELECT TO GRANT YOU PITY!! I WILL SPARE YOU HUMAN!!! NOW’S YOUR CHANCE TO ACCEPT MY MERCY. Chara: Finally, it’s over. Frisk gladly takes the offer. The fog finally starts to clear up. Just now, she notices how disappointed Papyrus is. Papyrus: NYOO HOO HOO... I CAN’T EVEN STOP SOMEONE AS WEAK AS YOU... UNDYNE’S GOING TO BE DISAPPOINTED IN ME. I’LL NEVER BE ANYTHING MORE THAN A SNOWDIN GUARD... AND... MY FRIEND QUANTITY WILL REMAIN STAGNANT! Frisk: Oh, don’t be like that Papy, we can be friends. Papyrus beams with joy. Papyrus: REALLY!? YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS, WITH ME??? WELL THEN... I GUESS... I GUESS I CAN MAKE AN ALLOWANCE FOR YOU! WOWIE!! WE HAVEN’T EVEN HAD OUR FIRST DATE... AND I’VE ALREADY MANAGED TO HIT THE FRIEND ZONE!!! Frisk starts laughing as she realizes that. Chara: Well that’s ironic. Papyrus: WHO KNEW THAT ALL I NEEDED TO MAKE PALS... WAS TO GIVE PEOPLE AWFUL PUZZLES AND THEN FIGHT THEM?? Frisk tries to control her laughter to talk to Papyrus, but she fails terribly. Frisk: Papyrus... nouuu, that’s no- Papyrus: YOU TAUGHT ME A LOT, HUMAN, HUMAN. I HEREBY GRANT YOU PERMISSION TO PASS THROUGH! AND I’LL GIVE YOU DIRECTIONS TO THE SURFACE. Frisk wants to tell him about him not having to make puzzles and fights, but Chara stops her. Chara: Forget about the puzzles, this is more important. Papyrus: CONTINUE FORWARD UNTIL YOU REACH THE END OF THE CAVERN. THEN... WHEN YOU REACH THE CAPITAL, CROSS THE BARRIER. THAT’S THE MAGICAL SEAL TRAPPING US ALL HERE. ANYTHING CAN ENTER THROUGH IT, BUT NOTHING CAN EXIT... EXCEPT SOMEONE WITH A POWERFUL SOUL. ...LIKE YOU!!! THAT’S WHY THE KING WANTS TO ACQUIRE A HUMAN. HE WANTS TO OPEN THE BARRIER WITH SOUL POWER. THEN US MONSTERS CAN RETURN TO THE REAL WORLD! OH, I ALMOST FORGET TO TELL YOU... TO REACH THE YOU WILL HAVE TO PASS... THROUGH THE KING’S CASTLE. Chara: Yeah, that’s just a small detail. Papyrus: THE KING OF ALL MONSTERS... HE IS ... WELL... HE’S A BIG FUZZY PUSHOVER!!! EVERYBODY LOVES THAT GUY. Chara: Except Toriel. Papyrus: I AM CERTAIN IF YOU JUST SAY... “EXCUSE ME, MR DREEMURR... CAN I PLEASE GO HOME?” HE’LL GUIDE YOU RIGHT TO THE BARRIER HIMSELF! ANYWAY!!! THAT’S ENOUGH TALKING!!! I’LL BE AT HOME BEING A COOL FRIEND!!! FEEL FREE TO COME BY AND HAVE THAT DATE! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!! Papyrus runs past Frisk back to his house. She follows him. The music can be heard again as she enters the town. Frisk walks up to Papyrus, who is waiting for her in front of his house. Papyrus: SO YOU CAME BACK TO HAVE A DATE WITH ME! YOU MUST BE REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT THIS... Frisk nods. Papyrus: I’LL HAVE TO TAKE YOU SOMEPLACE REALLY SPECIAL... A PLACE I LIKE TO SPEND A LOT OF TIME!!! Papyrus starts walking towards Grillby’s. When they get there, he turns around and walks back to his house. Papyrus: MY HOUSE!!! Chara: Such presentation. Papyrus opens the door and gets in the house. Frisk does so as well.  Papyrus: WELCOME TO SCENIC MY HOUSE! ENJOY AND TAKE YOUR TIME!!! The house looks really cozy. First room is the living room, it also leads to the kitchen, and it seems like the stairs lead to Papyrus’ and Sans’ rooms. On the table in the living room, there’s a rock on a plate. Frisk takes a closer look on it. It has some sprinkles. Papyrus: THIS IS MT BROTHER’S PET ROCK. HE ALWAYS FORGETS TO FEED IT. AS USUAL, I HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. Frisk: I bet it’s a good ice breaker in conversations as well. A rimshot can be heard from somewhere upstairs. Chara: Oh my god. Papyrus: OH NO! YOU’VE JUST BARELY MET MY BROTHER AND IT LOOKS LIKE HE HAS ALREADY INFLUENCED YOU INTO A LIFE OF BAD JOKES! I MUST FIX THIS IN THE FUTURE. Frisk notices a sock with some notes on it next to the TV. SANS! PLEASE PICK UP YOUR SOCK! ok. DON’T PUT IT BACK DOWN! MOVE IT! ok. YOU MOVED IT TWO INCHES! MOVE IT TO YOUR ROOM! ok. AND DON’T BRING IT BACK! ok. IT’S STILL HERE! didn’t you just say not to bring it back to my room? FORGET IT! Frisk snickers at the notes and moves to the couch. She touches the couch. It makes a jangling sound. She finds a bunch of loose coins inside the couch. 20G.  She goes back to the TV to see what type of channels monsters have. It’s the no signal screen with some sped up music. Papyrus: OOH, IT’S MY FAVORITE GAME-SHOW! It says “STAY TUNED FOR A NEW PROGRAM - MTT.” Papyrus: WHAT!!! IT’S USUALLY BETTER THAN THIS! THIS IS JUST A BAD EPISODE!!! DON’T JUDGE ME!!! Frisk: Don’t worry Paps, I won’t. Frisk Sees a big book on the table next to the couch. It’s a joke book. She takes a look inside. Inside the joke book was a quantum physics book. She looks inside. Inside Inside the quantum physics book was another joke book. She looks inside again. There’s another quantum physics book. She decides to stop. Frisk: This is confusing. Papyrus: I KNOW! I THINK IT’S ONE OF SANS’ PRANKS. Chara: That guy can do some weird stuff. Frisk goes to check out the kitchen. Papyrus follows her. She looks at the oven. Papyrus: MY BROTHER ALWAYS GOES OUT TO EAT. BUT... RECENTLY, HE TRIED “BAKING” SOMETHING. IT WAS LIKE... A QUICHE. BUT FILLED WITH A SUGARY, NON-EGG SUBSTANCE. HOW ABSURD! There’s an empty pie tin inside the stove. Frisk looks at the fridge. Papyrus: AH-HA! INTERESTED IN MY FOOD MUSEUM? PLEASE. PERUSE MY CULINARY ARTSHOW. Half of the fridge is filled with containers all labelled “spaghetti”. The other half contains nothing but an empty bag of chips. She tries to find out why would the sink on the closet be so high. Papyrus: IMPRESSED? I INCREASED THE HEIGHT OF MY SINK. NOW I CAN FIT MORE BONES UNDER IT! TAKE A LOOKSY! Chara: So that’s why it’s so large. Frisk opens the door to see Toby chewing on the sword he took from Papyrus during the fight. Papyrus: WHAT!! The dog starts running away. Papyrus: CATCH THAT MEDDLING CANINE! Before Frisk has time to react, the dog already escaped the house. Papyrus: CURSES!!! Frisk hears a door opening from upstairs. When she turns around, she sees Sans peeking out with a trombone and playing the “sad trombone” melody before closing the door again. Papyrus: SANS! STOP PLAGUING MY LIFE WITH INCIDENTAL MUSIC!!! Frisk goes upstairs to check out Sans’ room, but stops to look at the painting on the wall. Papyrus: A CLASSIC IMAGE. IT ALWAYS REMINDS ME OF WHAT’S IMPORTANT IN LIFE. Chara: A bone? Frisk checks the door of Sans’s room, but it’s locked. She goes back to Papyrus’ Papyrus: THAT’S MY ROOM! IF YOU’VE FINISHED LOOKING AROUND... WE COULD GO AND... DO WHATEVER PEOPLE DO WHEN THE DATE??? Frisk: sure. Frisk and Papyrus go inside his room. It is almost the exact same size as the living room. He has a computer, a bed in shape of a race car, some action figures, bones, a lot of books, another door and a pirate poster. Frisk looks at the box with the bones. Papyrus: HEY, THOSE ARE ALL THE ATTACKS I USED ON YOU. GREAT MEMORIES, HUH?  Chara: Not really. Papyrus: SEEMS LIKE IT WAS ONLY YESTERDAY... EVEN THOUGH IT BASICALLY JUST HAPPENED. After Papyrus describes everything in his room there is to look at. Papyrus: IF YOU’VE SEEN EVERYTHING... DO YOU WANT TO START THE DATE? Frisk: Sure. Chara: This is gonna be weird. Papyrus: OKAY!!! DATING START!!!  Papyrus selects a nice music on the computer  Chara: The irony of using a computer in a world that is in a computer. Papyrus: HERE WE ARE!! ON OUR FIRST DATE! I’VE ACTUALLY NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE. BUT DON’T WORRY!!! YOU CAN’T SPELL “PREPARED” WITHOUT SEVERAL LETTERS FROM MY NAME!!! I SNAGGED AN OFFICIAL DATING RULEBOOK FROM THE LIBRARY! WE’RE READY TO HAVE A GREAT TIME! Papyrus opens the book. Papyrus: LET’S SEE... STEP ONE... PRESS THE C KEY ON YOUR KEYBOARD FOR “DATING HUB” Chara: I got this. Chara opens a console and does as instructed. She sees a few menus, including a Toby scanner. Papyrus: WOWIE!!! I FEEL SO INFORMED!!! I THINK WE’RE READY FOR STEP TWO!!! “STEP TWO... ASK THEM ON A DATE.” Chara smirks at the step. Chara: I think you did that step already Frisk. Papyrus: AHEM! HUMAN! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS... WILL GO ON A DATE WITH YOU!!! Frisk: Ok. Somehow, Papyrus manages to blush and his “eyes” are shining with excitement. Papyrus: R-REALLY??? WOWIE!!! i GUESS THAT MEANS IT’S TIME FOR PART THREE!!! “STEP THREE... PUT ON NICE CLOTHES TO SHOW YOU CARE!” Papyrus reads the step again, deeply thinking about it. Papyrus: WAIT A SECOND. “WEAR CLOTHING...” THE CLOTHES YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW... NOT ONLY THAT...  EARLIER TODAY, YOU WERE ALSO WEARING CLOTHING! NO... COULD IT BE???  YOU’VE WANTED TO DATE ME FROM THE VERY BEGINNING??? Frisk looks at Chara, seeking for advice. Chara shrugs. Chara: Go with it. Frisk: Yes. Papyrus is amazed by Frisk’s “tactics” Papyrus: NO! YOU PLANNED IT ALL!!! YOU’RE WAY BETTER AT DATING THAN I AM! N-NOOOO!!! YOUR DATING POWER... NYEH HEH HEH! DON’T THINK YOU’VE BESTED ME YET! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAVE NEVER BEEN BEATEN AT DATING, AND I NEVER WILL! Chara: Has he ever even went on a date? Papyrus: I CAN EASILY KEEP UP WITH YOU!!! YOU SEE, I, TOO, CAN WEAR CLOTHING!!! IN FACT... I ALWAYS WEAR MY “SPECIAL” CLOTHES UNDERNEATH MY REGULAR CLOTHES!! JUST IN CASE SOMEBODY HAPPENS TO ASK ME ON A DATE!!! BEHOLD!!! Papyrus runs in his closet and he comes back, literally a second later, wearing a T-shirt that says “COOL DUDE”, shorts, sneakers, his gloves, a hat and two basketballs on his shoulders. Frisk and Chara are both confused by this fashion choice. Papyrus: NYEH! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY SECRET STYLE!?! Frisk: Well, it is special, I love it. Papyrus notices the DATE POWER bar rising. Papyrus: NO!!! A GENUINE COMPLIMENT...!!! HOWEVER... YOU DON’T TRULY UNDERSTAND THE HIDDEN POWER OF THIS OUTFIT!!! THEREFORE... WHAT YOU JUST SAID IS INVALID!!! THIS DATE WON’T ESCALATE ANY FURTHER!!! ...UNLESS YOU FIND MY SECRET!! BUT THAT WON’T HAPPEN!! Frisk starts to walk around Papyrus, inspecting his clothes. She presumes that he has some kind of gift for her. All of the pockets are empty and the basketballs don’t have any holes for a present to fit. She checks his hat. Papyrus: MY HAT...? MY HAT. MY HAT! NYEH HEH HEH! Papyrus takes off his hat, revealing a wrapped in present. Papyrus: W-WELL THEN... YOU FOUND MY SECRET! I SUPPOSE I HAVE NO CHOICE! IT’S A PRESENT... A PRESENT J-JUST FOR YOU!!! Frisk takes the present and opens it. It’s spaghetti. Chara snickers. Chara: How unexpected, I thought it would be anything that isn’t spaghetti Papyrus: DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS? Frisk: Of course, it’s your spaghetti Papyrus: “SPAGHETTI.” THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE THINKING. RIGHT! BUT OH-SO WRONG! THIS AIN’T ANY PLAIN OL’ PASTA! THIS IS AN ARTISAN’S WORK! SILKEN SPAGHETTI, FINELY AGED IN AN OAKEN CASK... THEN COOKED BY ME, MASTER CHEF PAPYRUS! HUMAN!!! IT’S TIME TO END THIS!! THERE’S NO WAY THIS CAN GO ANY FURTHER! Frisk tries the spaghetti. It’s actually pretty good. Papyrus: WHAT A PASSIONATE EXPRESSION!!! YOU MUST REALLY LOVE MY COOKING! AND BY EXTENSION,  ME! MAYBE EVEN MORE THAN I DO!!! The DATE POWER rises. It breaks the limit. Papyrus: NOOOOOOOO!!! Papyrus gives up. Papyrus: HUMAN. IT’S CLEAR NOW. YOU’RE MADLY IN LOVE WITH ME EVERYTHING YOU DO. EVERYTHING YOU SAY. IT’S ALL BEEN FOR MY SAKE. HUMAN, I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY, TOO. IT’S TIME FOR ME TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS. IT’S TIME THAT I TOLD YOU. I, PAPYRUS... Papyrus starts to question his feelings. Papyrus: I... UM...  BOY, IS IT HOT IN HERE, OR IS IT JUST ME?? . . . OH, SHOOT. HUMAN, I... I’M SORRY. I DON’T LIKE YOU THE WAY YOU LIKE ME. ROMANTICALLY, I MEAN. I MEAN, I TRIED VERY HARD TO! I THOUGHT THAT BECAUSE YOU FLIRTED WITH ME... THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO ON A DATE WITH YOU. THEN, ON THE DATE, FEELINGS WOULD BLOSSOM FORTH!!! I WOULD BE ABLE TO MATCH YOUR PASSION FOR ME! BUT ALAS... I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS... HAVE FAILED. I FEEL JUST THE SAME AS BEFORE. AND INSTEAD, BY DATING YOU... I HAVE ONLY DRAWN YOU DEEPER... INTO YOUR INTENSE LOVE FOR ME! A DARK PRISON OF PASSION, WITH NO ESCAPE! HOW COULD I HAVE DONE THIS TO MY DEAR FRIEND...? NO! WAIT! THAT’S WRONG! I CAN’T FAIL AT ANYTHING!!! HUMAN!!! I’LL HELP YOU THROUGH THESE TRYING TIMES!!! I’LL KEEP BEING YOUR COOL FRIEND... AND ACT LIKE THIS ALL NEVER HAPPENED. AFTER ALL, YOU ARE VERY GREAT. IT WOULD BE TRAGIC TO LOSE YOUR FRIENDSHIP. SO PLEASE... DON’T CRY BECAUSE I WON’T KISS YOU. Chara laughs from the sound of the sentence. Papyrus: BECAUSE, I DON’T EVEN HAVE LIPS. The reason doesn’t help Chara to calm down. Papyrus: AND HEY,  SOMEDAY, YOU’LL FIND SOMEONE AS GREAT AS ME. WELL, NO. THAT’S NOT TRUE. Chara: Way to comfort her Paps. Papyrus: BUT I’LL HELP YOU SETTLE FOR SECOND BEST!!! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH! Papyrus starts to walk away, but then turns around. Papyrus: OH, AND IF YOU EVER NEED TO REACH ME... HERE’S MY PHONE NUMBER. YOU CAN CALL ME ANY TIME! PLATONICALLY. WELL GOTTA GO! NYEH HEH HEH! Papyrus leaves. Chara: How does it feel to be rejected by the probably nicest monster? Frisk: I don’t mind, I just wanted to have some fun. Chara: So you flirt and go on dates for fun. Frisk: Looks like it. Frisk adds Papyrus’ phone number to her contact list and then leaves the house. Chara: Should I expect often dates with random monsters? Frisk: Well, if you weren’t a ghost that only me and Napstablook can see, maybe you would have gotten a date as well. Chara: Fair enough. Frisk continues to follow the path all the way through the fog to the next area. Prologue Chapter 6 Chapter 8

[survivormontenegro]

Episode 10: “It’s Like Giving A Baby A Glock” - Mo

I’ve been tricked, I’ve been backstabbed and, quite possibly, bamboozled.

So like here’s the thing, the person I thought going into merge I could trust the least is apparently now my closest ally. That’s Julia. I thought everyone was on the same page of voting out Tom like oh we’re gucci. But fucking quick fake out, no such thing as Tom getting voted out. I literally started hysterically laughing because no one was answering me when I asked what happened on the call. Now I don’t know what to do but I’m still just gonna have fun.

operation vote alex was a success. i feel really really awful because he looked so upset, but he was just too powerful and couldn't stick around any longer ahh. in other news sleeping beauty tom is so funny, he almost self-voted himself out of the game I am truly screaming. i was determined this season to make up for the last time we played together and i think i got to do that ahh.

in other news... i need to go into hiding. i have done way too much in both of the last votes, and its really gonna start getting me some attention unless i really really go under the radar. me and jules are the only people who voted both ian and alex, and on call with jason i think its obvious to him now that us two are close eek!

i feel like mo is a good next vote, he is much more of an outsider than jones and is an easy vote which is what i need since im in such a highlighted position at the moment eek, i really think i'm gonna go like 8th or something, so we will see how that little pickle goes eek!

New Goal Bootlist: Mo > Jones > Jason > Julia > Mitch > Me/Caeleb/Jules/Benj/Tom F5, ahh I love everyone left way too much this is gonna become such a pickle when I don't wanna vote out like.... half the tribe EEK. lets just hope its all smooth sailing till i idol someone out eek.

i do not expect to make FTC, but I just wanna use my idol correctly before I go askljdfa. Also new jury rankings if I get booted 10th:

Jules > Jason > Benj > Caeleb > Mitch > Jones > Julia > Tom > Mo

Caeleb shot up my rankings for being open to a move, Jason would be a major underdog if he makes it to FTC, Jules is too woke and deserves votes, and Benj is playing a super smart game ha! We will see, but I sure do not expect to last much longer in this game KLASDFA

HELLO!!! This game has been chaos lately. Firstly Ian gets blindsided and I knew it would be a split vote but had no clue he was leaving wow... but then this round all the people who organised that got blindsided with the Alex vote hehe. I didn't vote him bc my vote was publicized by Ian even tho I didn't vote him smh but I fully knew about it and kinda helped with it even tho its mainly caelebs move

Alex was super nice I liked him but it was purely for game he was the biggest threat and we were almost certain he had durmitor idol so! Even with tom self voting it worked wowow so I guess jules also voted with ali/caeleb/mitch/Jason

I don't talk to Julia or mo but IM SO SAD ABT JONES I DONT KNOW IF SHE KNOWS I KNEW OR NOT BUT I LOVE HER AND HOPE SHE DONT HATE ME

But whew this merge has been so crazy and I love it. Im kinda becoming floaterish again but that's fine bc we see threats leave early like ian and alex so! this should work for a while... altho im terrified to even make the end cuz its a live finale tribal AHHHH but idk if I will make it there anyway we will see. prob not .

Current rankings (strategically)

1. Ali - MY KINGGGG FOREVER!!!! Best duo ever and I don't think anyone knows it... we have voted differently again so its like perfect cuz despite doing diff stuff we still tell each other everything. and I hope we find merge idol so we have 2 hehe

2. Caeleb - Omg we have been working together a lot more closely lately and I really like it hes fun to work with im so sad I voted him 2 rounds ago LOL but its ok since its going to well now! king

3. Mitch - Only person ive been on every tribe with, usually always on the same page w stuff

4. Jones - LOVE HER QUEEN! she would be like tied 1st for personal but so far we have voted diff both times at merge oops! but still wanna go far with her

5/6. Jules/Tom - Without really talking about strategy we were still on the same page. Tom aussie king. JULES FRIENDLY QUEEN!

7/8/9. Jason/Julia/Mo - I just don't know how to talk to them really lol but all nice . my fault cuz maybe im so inactive... love u guys still

IDK WHATS NEXT BUT I WANNA MAKE TOP 9 ATLEAST!! Single digits again yus

Ok ok after tending to my needy cat, taking a shower, and taking a short 6 hour nap that others may call sleep,,, I’m 60% in the right headspace to gather my thoughts I think.

Last nights move was so good, I hated it Bc I wasn’t included in it but it was so good. But also seeing Alex literally on the verge of tears was NOT so good. That was actually depressing. Granted he WAS the biggest threat to win and he was on the verge of becoming an extremely controlling paranoid person - but dammit the combination of Mitch/Ali/Jason/Jules/Caeleb/Tom (to an extent) got us SO good.

BTW I can say with like 95% certainty that those were the 6 people involved w Alex going. It only makes sense to me that it would be? Ali/Mitch/Tom straight up TOLD me why they did what they did, Jason Bc why the fuck would he vote out Tom, Caeleb has expressed so much paranoia ab Alex that I’d be shocked if he wasn’t on board w it, and honestly Jules just hasn’t said anything ab anything and Alex went home w 5 votes, Benj and Julia voted Jason, Mo was VISIBLY shaken by Alex going, and I know I didn’t do it. So unless I’m missing someone in my process of elimination, those are the 6 people involved in the murder of Alexander Crooks.

Also on a couple unrelated notes - I’m thinking ab willing my vote cover to someone. I just don’t understand why I should be afraid of being exposed - I feel like I shouldn’t have anything to hide yk? Assuming I have to expose my vote I mean, hopefully I don’t! But ya

Also literally the round Before last round I think Caeleb actually exposed the plan to blindside Alex to me ? Like he was talking to me ab Tom and Ali wanting to get him out and then I approached Ali ab it and he was like no that’s not a thing BUT IT WAS A THING!! I think Alex was supposed to go last round, but Bc I confronted Ali ab it then it got pushed back??? Or it was legit just meant for this round smdmmdmd but um ya that’s might be the same plan?? So maybe I’ll expose Caeleb a bit hehehehe.

But honestly tho I think this could be really good for me in the sense that every single person thought of me as a duo w Alex - now I’m kind of a free agent who can do whatever the fuck I want!! Which is fun, the only true alliances I have w people now are just w benj and mo, which is cute and also I doubt anyone would target them anytime soon ? Tom seems like he’s still open to working w me, so are Ali and Mitch. Julia was also blindsided hardcore so maybe she’d be down to work out something too ? Right now I’m just holding out hope knowing for a fact that I CAN make this situation better. I’ve literally BEEN in this situation 2 times already?? I can do this! Just like Co-Star always tells me.

Wait just kidding on the Julia thing I can’t trust her either, I can only trust Jones at the moment.

So I found out from Benj that there was another split vote led by Alex. Last tribal he failed to tell me that they were going to vote out Ian instead of Jason. So this time around, when I found out that they were going to do the same thing to me again, I knew there was no going back with my new connection with Ali. The more I talked around with everyone the more the pieces started to align. Tom and Jason were targets so they would be easy to get involved. With me and Ali that's already 4. Mitch was going to be the fifth, and Jules as well if we felt like he wasn't going to go for it. I honestly wanted to vote Jules first tho, and I talked to Ali and Benj about that originally, but Ali had reservations as Jules is SUCH a flipper. AND THEN Julia voted so early, so I kinda went up to everyone in this new group and was like, "okay that was arrogant I think she's trying to be funny but thats enough for me to vote her," and Ali was way more into that so for a couple hours we had that going. BUT MITCH WAS NO WHERE TO BE SEEN. Like we had our four and we were ready but Mitch didn't come on line until like 40 min before tribal. And when he did he was like I'm voting Alex. I really didn't want to go for Alex right away because of a couple of reasons. One being that if he heard of this vote in anyyy way he might be able to get Jones to play her idol for him and that could destroy everything. SECONDLY, I knew that if we voted him then I was gonna have to do some SERIOUS damage control with Mo and Jones but if I had the opportunity to vote out Julia instead, I can go back to them and say that I knew I had to take the opportunity to be involved in the decisions but I didn't want it to be any of them. SOOO last 40 min I had to make a really big decision if I was gonna vote Alex or Tom and ultimately, I chose to vote out Alex. It just would put me in a better position.

I am so glad I did it to be honest. The moment I saw Alex's name five times I knew I made the right decision. I felt Happy and I felt Free. Alex was clearly using me as a failsafe, an easy first vote out once Me, Mo, Alex, Jones, Julia, Jules, and Ali were left. Now, this game is open up not just for me, but for everybody. I seriously think anyone can take control at this point. I don't need it to be me, I just need it to be someone who likes me. I think Jones is the most dangerous player right now, because of her idol. But I have kept that to myself, as well as her advantage, because while I might have to play the middle ground, I'm not a snitch.

Everyone is always so obsessed with being a hero or a villain. Going into Tumblr Survivor as a new player I really wanted to find out what type of player I was going to become. If I was gonna fit into one of those roles. I don't know what I am. I kinda feel like a villain because clearly that was a devious move, and I broke a strong alliance, but also I feel like I was a villain by default. I didn't necessarily want to be that player, I actually would've loved to have felt safe in that group. But trust has gotta go both ways, and if you show me two tribals in a row that you don't trust me to tell me the whole plan, I'm not gonna stick true with a group that sees me as expendable. So sure I was a villain, but it wasn't about vengeance or deceit or ill-will. It was to put this game back on a balance, and move me into a new spot that can work for me.

Okay, something I have learned about Survivor is that you have to put your Pride in Check. Tom is so nice to me, says a lot of things along the lines of "thanks for saving me," "you and I can go far in this," and such. And he told me he wasn't going to vote me in the first merge vote, and I think he believes that he fooled me. I know he voted me. He's literally the only person that would think voting me was the majority vote, except Ian and Jason. I wanna tell him that I know so badly so he doesn't think he's pulling one over me but I can't because I want him to think he can work with me, that I am in his pocket because he "stuck his neck out for me" or whatever.

Also ummm Mitch told me that Alex had a planned assassination on me for the last vote before merge. But he didn't tell me until after the Alex vote and said Jones was in on it. I know better than to trust what Mitch tells me for sure, so I don't think I will even go and fact check him on it. I honestly don't know how that would've helped Alex in the slightest so I don't know if its true, but also Alex likes to throw out my name as a "just in case" so god who knows. Regardless, I doubt I'll use this information for anything because it honestly doesn't matter going forward, other than that Mitch is a little bit of a snake.

hehe

So I won the reward challenge because I’m cool.

I

Have

No

Fucking clue

What to do with this

Like all three of the people voted Alex off without telling me about anything and I was in an alliance chat with all three of them (Ali & Jules in Space Jam, Caeleb in Durmitor Dominators) so like of course I was sad because that meant I was on the outs. Truth be told I kinda wish I didn’t win this because it’s like giving a baby a glock. Because I don’t know how to come out of this without people thinking I’m holding a grudge.

okay so mo won reward which is okay! I dont really wanna ask him to save me, because that will require making promises that I dont know if I'll be able to keep. I expect to be cursed this round.

touchy subjects is going to tank my game like CRAZY. I'm worried that Caeleb, Benj & Jules could all say they trust me most which is highkey terrifying, because if I win that it'll send red flags to all of them. I expect to win the shady game ones, about lying and flipping on alliances and stuff which is not as bad because I can just blame that on Space Jam which I told Caeleb about.

My big fear and this could just be ego-talking, like when I thought I was gonna win the lists challenge and then came second last but I'm so worried about getting the will win if they make it to the end category, thats... a death sentence in my opinion.

Wanna do like a quick update for each person too, just so I can look back when they all hate me at the end of the season:

Benj: my KING. He is such a legend, I love talking to me and do not think I would ever be able to vote for him, except at FTC! Wanna go super far with him, super super far!

Caeleb: Oh god I'm already realising the problem, which is that I love everyone. Caeleb I did not expect to get as close to, but he is so so fun to talk to! I'm really giving with him, and I think he is close to Benj too, so could be a good endgame person too. Will see on that one.

Jason: I love him! I for some reason convinced myself that he hated me during the swap, but I dont think... he does? he is SO smart and fun, I'd love to vote for him at an FTC. Ideally he needs to go before then, but I've lost Ian and Alex who were great shields so he acc probably needs to stick around.

Jones: Okay Jones is tough. Like... we stan becausee she is so much fun and I love talking to her. But talking game with her right now is tough because we have this weird poor communication and I'm conscious of not making empty promises when I want to see her go soon. I really like her on a personal, but I see either me voting her out or her voting me out.

Jules: what can I say except we stan. I talk to her and Benj the most by far, they are just consistently showing why we love them! I think they are such a threat, but I cant face the idea of voting them out eek! Wanna go super far with Jules because I LOVE THEM and they are a great friend and ally!

Julia: I messed up with Julia BAD. I should've told her about the Alex vote, I really think she would've been down, and it would've been so much better. Now she is upset and paranoid, and I feel so bad. I did her wrong and need to make it up to her, but I dont know if I will be able to eeek!

Mitch: he is so funny HDJDKDKD, like the way he talks is so funny. I've had a real rollercoaster relationship with him this season, but I could see some sort of alliance of me/Caeleb/Mitch/Benj coming together in the future! We will see ahh!

Mo: I've been quite harsh about Mo in confessionals this season but I feel like this vote gave him the kick he needs? Like he was playing it super safe and while it frustrates me seeing him say stuff like just keep me to F7 and such, he is, as always great to be around and a lotta fun!

Tom: Sleeping Beauty Tom. It's so funny to me that he stayed despite self-voting and sleeping. He is so much fun, I was determined to make up for our last game and I think I have ahh.

Summary is I wanna see Jones and Mo out next, then Mitch & Jason, then Julia leaving a F5 of Caeleb/ Me/ Benj/ Tom/ Jules? Thats the dream anyway ha!

Maybe I'm just paranoid but I feel like I've backstabbed/betrayed a good amount of people in this game and it's hard because sure they were moves that had to be made, but I hate being THAT PERSON. I don't know. Here's a confession Johnny, I'm trying but I'm bad at these.

So Mo said he was going to give me the reward tonight. He definitely doesn't talk to me as much and is much less excited and fun to talk to but I think I need to just accept that. The fact that he came up to me to tell me he's giving it to me, rather than me asking, makes me think he's telling the truth.

Plus I am being honest with him when I tell him that I don't want it to be him next. I hope he knows that.

Jones meanwhile has yet to say anything to me after last tribal. I finally messaged her last night, saying that I didn't mean anything towards her when I voted Alex. I hope she'll come around, but if not, then umm I kinda have no choice but to be wary of her and her idol and might have to do something about it. I don't want to though, I do wanna work with both her and Mo.

I actually think Julia is on my side. I can’t tell if she’s lying but she seemed upset because apparently no one talked to her about the plan to vote out Alex.

I'm bored at work. This tribal council is Odd as Hell. No one wants to throw out names, no one wants to seem too schemey, so everyone is just talking about being nervous and concerned. I honestly don't know who I want to go home because I think this vote is going to determine the course of this game post-Alex. I know I sure as hell don't want to come off as someone who is dictating the votes, so I'm trying to make it clear that I am willing to go with the flow with anyone who needs a vote rn.

I think there are people who have my back hopefully that will tell me if I need to be worried at least. Ali hopefully would, Tom *hopefully* would (but who knows hes sneaky), Mo was nice enough to give me the reward but um the Alex vote has changed him, I miss the old Mo. come back. Jones finally is talking to me again, but she's still trying to keep some secrets about the last couple of votes so I don't fully trust her. Benj hopefully would, but I was surprised he talks to Julia so much. Jason hopefully would, but now with Alex gone his game opens up tremendously. Julia would never tell me. Mitch wouldn't tell me unless it helped himself which I can't imagine happening. Jules probably wouldn't tell me because she's the easiest to convince into doing something no matter what Touchy Subjects said. She's literally flipped allegiances like every single vote ever. I hope I can survive tonight because I think this is going to be a pivotal vote and literally anyone can go home tonight (except Benj who has the sweet immunity).

HI um I think this game is broken? No one will say anything to anyone. Did I do this? Did I break this game? Or maybe we all did? Maybe Ali did maybe Jules did maybe Mitch did because us four are the middle people and we created an atmosphere where no one trusts anyone? or everyone trusts some people and none of that fits into a substantial person to vote?

I'm literally laughing rn. I am logging off. I am not going to focus on this game because literally every person just says "I don't want to throw a name out" "I haven't heard anything" "what have you heard" Like the gravity of this is crazy. This has gone on for HOURS. I don't know what to do so I am going to ignore my messages for like an hour and then reanalyze because Damn.

APPARENTLY NO ONES SAYING SHIT. But like part of me is like “Hm.... Yeah ok sure...” thinking it’s gonna be me. Because either everyone is lying to me or everyone’s genuinely confused.

okay i did a video confessionals that's uploading which has my thoughts from a couple of hours ago.

since then jules is pushing for mitch to go... but its so tough. mitch i think has my back, i just wanna vote mo and delay this war by a round. I just want someone like Mo or Jones gone, its getting tough. I'm playing the middle and am in a web of problems.

I have to have Jules back above all. Benj is safe, so I need to keep them safe. I need to get the vote on like Mo or someone, but Caeleb wants to vote Mitch or Jules too... ugh this is getting really messy and I'm worried and tired.

Idk if I sent this yet but

At the moment rightnow it seems like it’s Jules or Mitch, right now I think,,,, the best way to vote is Mitch. I’m Trying to get everyone on the path for mitch because I think Jules is falling in the “I’m a big threat wah” category and I want that to keep growing,,, I just feel,, so awful.

Mitch if you’re reading this ily w my whole heart and I still wanna crash Drew’s library w you some day

i am... what we call in the business, trash. i upset mitch and deserve to be voted out for it. i'm snappin' hearts on my way to FTC LORD.

[tangledfan]

70 horrible questions … I’m bored and my tumblr messages won’t work

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Not at all, unfortunately.. I always wanted a healthy relationship with them. Things haven’t worked out but I’m ok about it now

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? My best friends… Rosie and Rosie ahha. One is my cat and the other is a human being haha!!

03: Do you regret anything? I have a lot of regrets, I think regret is one of the worst feelings but.. I guess I wouldn’t be exactly what I am now without those choices I made back then- good and bad.

04: Are you insecure? I have my days if I’m honest.. but I’d say I love my mind and I love my personality and there are times I question my physical beauty but that’s nothing to do with me, that’s what society tries to push as beautiful. As a whole I love myself and you should love yourself too and give yourself what you deserve..

05: What is your relationship status? Relationship?? What is that??

06: How do you want to die? Oh wow, dramatically where no one else is hurt lmfao. If I’m going to be remembered let it be from choking on a sandwich.

07: What did you last eat? Rice and a cookie🔥😂

08: Played any sports? OMG a few years back I literally played every sport under the sun, Football, netball, rounders, tennis, athletics, dance, swimming, baseball, rugby… but yknow life hit love and then I died

09: Do you bite your nails? No I don’t! When I was 13 I did kind of but I mean I don’t ever do it now

10: When was your last physical fight? I don’t do physical fights but 6 years ago lol (me and my sister were arguing over food I think)

11: Do you like someone? Ugh… I don’t even really know what it feels like to like someone.. No one sticks around long enough for me to develop emotional and mental connection (For me that’s so important)

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? Oh my gawd yes and you know what? I’m either really hyper because I’m so tired or I’m the biggest bore ever, there is no middle.

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? All I’m going to say is.. this person is trash who shits on good people because they are bored with their own life. SORRY BUT I HATE BULLYING IN ANY FORM. Do I hate her? I don’t know.. do I have little respect for her? Yes.

14: Do you miss someone? I miss a lot of people, for different reasons. I miss my childhood best friend. I miss my all my ex’s who decided it wasn’t worth being friends with me.. do you know why? Because these people shaped me, I still think they are good people. I’d still invest time into them. I don’t just miss the memories, I miss the friendship.

15: Have any pets? A few! But only 3 that I could truly class as my pets, my best friends. Smokey my hamster (I miss you buddy, I miss carrying you on my shoulder and sharing cucumber with you while I watched Lizzie McGuire. I will always love you, you made me such a happy 10 year old, you were my first proper pet and I just loved you so much, you were my best friend and I was so weird with you) Spot my rabbit (ah you were so fluffy and cute and so bad, like you broke everyone’s things because I REFUSED to put you in a cage lol. I liked having you hop around and be a asshole to everyone but you were only ever nice to me. I love you and I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you when you needed me, I regretted going to school that day, I came home and cried.. I didn’t know what death meant until then) Lastly Rosie… wow you are my child. I would protect you from everything and anything. I look at you and want to cry sometimes because your eyes are so expressive. You don’t need to talk because I feel you bro, I feel your presence and you know exactly when I need to have you around. When I can’t sleep in the night and you make sure I can hear you purring. I have spent the last 3 years revolving my life for you and everyone thinks I’m crazy mad for loving you so much because you are unfriendly- truth is, you are just friendly with me haha, I like the loyalty in you cat.. even when I don’t feed you, I’m still your mom. You came in my life just when I needed you and honestly it wasn’t a coincidence how I got you. You fixed a part in me that was slowly dying, my will to carry on.. it was nice to speak to someone who wouldn’t just tell me to “stop being silly” partly cause you couldn’t communicate with me 😉 but y'know you are my absolute best friend, I love you more than I ever have any human, no one comes close and thank you for helping my get back on the right path through my mental health and my bad habits.. knowing I had you to look after made me stop being selfish. (I had to write this shit out because I really love my animals deeply, they have been there for me when humans couldn’t.)

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? Lucky, passionate and yet somewhat disappointed.

17: Ever made out in the bathroom? It was the best kiss I have ever had. Fire works. It was the kiss that mattered but didn’t last lmfao and it happened in a fucking bathroom and I’m so pressed over that 😂

18: Are you scared of spiders? I’m sorry for being scared of you spiders but I’d never hurt you

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? YES!! I want to look into history but also my own history. I want to maybe see myself from a distant.. to know what others see.

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? In the middle of no where while the moon was high in the sky and your dimples were just about visible and I knew I had to kiss you then as you passionately spoke about music. You were such a puppy, man it was a good time but we are just friends now.

21: What are your plans for this weekend? Record- hopefully! Going to spend time with my best friend and her girlfriend yay! (Mom and dad TBH) Maybe if I have time I’ll do some writing and reading :)

22: Do you want to have kids? How many? It depends on my resources! I find it hard to share love out equally though and I wouldn’t want anyone I love to think I love one more than the other due to the attention I give. I’m game for however many. I have no set amount.. I kind of want a big family. I want to adopt as well! If the feelings right and mutual.

23: Do you have piercings? How many? Just ear piercings! Used to have my lips and nose done.. that being said I want my nose ring back but it’s difficult I want to work at Disneyland and I hate taking out studs and nose rings.

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? Drama, music, English, Art, Maths, History and PE!

25: Do you miss anyone from your past? Practically everyone. I have at least one thought of you a day.

26: What are you craving right now? Chocolate anything😍

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? unfortunately yes.. but we are all very good friends now, in fact we are soulmates but in the platonic sense.

28: Have you ever been cheated on? Yes but it’s ok, we are soooo past that. I made terrible mistakes to begin with. Having gone through that.. I now realise how damaging cheating truly is haha! I needed it however to know what it felt like and how bad it truly was. Just because I don’t feel as deeply as the other doesn’t mean I should be irresponsible with someone’s feelings.

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? Good and bad tears, for all my past lovers that I hurt, I’m awful sorry, I was childish and unready to fully open up.

30: What’s irritating you right now? My eagerness to explore the past… I should leave it there and focus on the future. TRUMP. BREXIT. Dramatic fandoms.. it was fine to a certain point until y'all say horrible shit about eachother and drag down other humans who btw have feelings regardless of how many people look up to them, your comments still fucking hurt.

31: Does somebody love you? Yes someone loves me

32: What is your favourite color? I love all colours but dark purple and baby blue, pink and the shade black 😂

33: Do you have trust issues? I wish I didn’t but yes… It’s quite bad.

34: Who/what was your last dream about? Weird dream but I fell asleep reading a fan fic so it was to do with that. Gotta love the fluffy cuteness.

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? Myself, I like to watch myself cry in the mirror lol (don’t ask me why, I’m a freak lol)

36: Do you give out second chances too easily? Those that know me think I do because I’m civil and don’t like to argue but nah, trust issues. I hate that about myself.

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? Forgive. I forget nothing.

38: Is this year the best year of your life? No.

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 6? Maybe 7? Proper kiss however was at 10!

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? Yes and it was liberating

51: Favourite food? Mmmm… that’s so hard😔😭 I love all food if I’m honest. I do love the taste of delusions tho lmfao #Camren

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Mmmm… not everything but in a way sometimes….I guess yes.

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? Read a book and cuddled with Rosie (my equal, my baby cattttt).❤️

54: Is cheating ever okay? No. I’ve made mistakes and it’s not worth it hurting someone like that EVER.

55: Are you mean? Honestly I’d say I’m the complete opposite of mean.

56: How many people have you fist fought? Two, I don’t promote violence lol but yeah that happened (with siblings)

57: Do you believe in true love? Yes. I absolutely believe in true love but you have to accept the idea of it and be ready for it. Both of you do.

58: Favourite weather? I like all weather rain, sun, wind… but of lately I’ve just loved walking in the rain.

59: Do you like the snow? I love the snow!!! When the snow is fresh and everything looks beautiful and new.

60: Do you wanna get married? Eventually, yes. Once I know.. it will be magical and painful but worth it.

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? I don’t mind it :)

62: What makes you happy? Freedom, laughter, kindness, deep conversations, music… passion.

63: Would you change your name? Yes, yes, yes.

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? No they have soft lips and we are good friends, affection is best haha!

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? I’d make sure they were OK and make them see that our friendship is worth more than a relationship between us could ever be.. plus I’m 99.9% gay

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? Most of them :) I have a different array of personalities depending on the person and situation, I have 1 friend however who knows everything about me and she is my soulmate in every single way. I love her just as deeply as I love my cat. I’d do almost anything for them.

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? Dave who is saved as “caMEEEEELAAA” on my phone lmfao, I love when he rings me because it’s like “Camila is calling you” and I’m like “AYYYEEE SON DAMM RIGHT SHE IS”

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Lauren’s lover @goodgirlsbettergetbad (p.s thanks for the kind words.. I needed them💜) and my best friend Rosie who lives miles away😭 which by the way really freaking sucks, it's hard when we both work to get a hold of one another but I never fear for our friendship, she'll always be in my life plus we had a wonderful talk last night, voice of reason always. Also another best friend of mine @let-me-make-this-queer thank you for being there. Thank you for letting me annoyingly hug you all the time! @invisibleandmagicaalthank you for just being so kind and messaging me while I was sad and listening to me in the nights!

69: Do you believe in soulmates? Oh my goodness yes. I think you have more than 1 soulmate and I don’t always think it’s romantic btw. It’s beautiful when you click mentally and emotionally with someone it can be platonic but it’s a great feeling. Twin flames tho…. ah my heart races.

70: Is there anyone you would die for? Yes. I’d die for most, it depends on circumstance.

[opepin]

june: week three

12: i got up at 7 am and then decided not to work in the office today. i just felt really sad again. i also wasn’t going to get dinner or lunch with vicki because she was too far T_T i’ll see her when i go back to chicago though. i laid in bed for 30 minutes or so and then brushed up and decided to walk over to the closest postal box to ship off my other rothy’s. oh, i didn’t explain to you all why my feet are hurting: i wore rothy’s flats for two days straight and they cramped my big toe and got my joints to flare up. the first day felt fine but after the second day, my feet hurt. it hurts to walk when i get up. x_x; so yeah, i returned both the 7.5 (too wide) and 7 (fit me but pointed toe box was too small). i had to wrestle with the customer service rep -__-” for me to return it. ugh. anyway, i took that walk and regretted it walking back because my allergies were starting to flare up and my legs got itchy. also, the box didn’t open all the way so my package wouldn’t fit x_x; 

the morning continued to be semi-bad? i cut my nail with the serrated knife (just he nail) so i went to clip my nail and the pin that held it together popped out and down the drain.... i sent in a maintenance request and then told kevin what happened and he was basically like “typical.” x_X; we ate breakfast and then after kevin left, the maintenance guy came and asked me if i really needed it and i said not really so he just left hahahaha. omg. much fails this morning. i ordered super nice nail clippers on amazon with my credit card reward points and then put on ‘beauty and the beast’ (live action version) and went to work. i also got to watch all the episodes of the ‘world of dance’, and i tried watching gordon ramsay’s ‘the f word’ but it’s a really weird show format-wise. x__x; i was pretty productive while watching stuff so i think i’m going to continue doing this while i work from home and recover. 

after work, i did 45 minutes of abs because i can’t do cardio. i didn’t want to listen to blogilates talk (LOL) so i put on the second season of ‘master of none’ and worked out to that. kevin came back early because he didn’t decide to climb today. i baked lemon pepper chicken again and kevin made some yu choy. i showered and then we ate leftovers and all of that for dinner while watching gordon ramsay videos. kevin cleaned up and then marinated pork butt in a char siu marinade while i ended my night walking 10k (i had to make up some steps after dinner) and watching videos. i went to sleep at 11:40 pm. i ko’d.

13: i got up at 8:30 am and then prepared for work. i ate breakfast with kevin and then went to work after he left. i also looked into glasses and contacts’ exams. hmmm i might just sign up for america’s best’s eyecare club for 5 years. hmmm. idk. well, i worked on my current project, ate lunch, and etc. i watched all the episodes of ‘love connection’ and then went on to watching the newest episodes of masterchef. i also got to catch up on some manga. on another note, i found out the name and artist of the song i’ve been dying to find on a youtube video. lol, kevin also tried looking for me... we found it though! yay. my feet are still healing and not yet fully recovered :( i worked for the rest of the day and after work, i just got real into looking at airline reward systems and got a headache so i took a 20 minute nap. kevin came back and then i worked out while watching master of none and kevin worked on finishing up cooking his char siu while making dinner for us. i did a bit of dance cardio but my feet still aren’t 100%. i took it real easy. we ate dinner and then ate some of the char siu and it was DELICIOUS. omg, kevin is a masterchef <3 i’m so lucky to have him LOL. we nommed on some meat and then cleaned up a bit and showered. i was totally beat after that. i went to sleep at around 11:30 pm. zzz.

14: lol i woke up at 8;30 am again. i ate breakfast with kevin and then went straight to work and realized i had a good amount left to do. i put on the newest episodes of world of dance and masterchef while i worked. then i ate lunch, worked, got on standup, and then finished up the project. then i rested with some videos and planned what to do for the next day. i think tomorrow i’m going to go to fedex and print out test copies of this project and hopefully, they turn out great. kevin surprised me by coming home hella early even though he said he was climbing? apparently, his team left the office at 3:30 pm and so he did too and went climbing. so i kind of rushed to finish my oblique workout and then showered and then we ate char siu banh mi for dinner mmmm. so yummy. i ate an apple pear for dessert and that tipped me over and i felt so bloated... kevin also is very clumsy and hurts me all the time. my foot is feeling better but kevin like kicked it and it stung a bit but still ok. my left foot is healing faster than my right. i don’t know what’s wrong with my right foot T_T please heal, i’m sorry! i fit in a small minimal intensity cardio workout at the end of the day and then went to sleep at like 11:30 pm.

15: i had a call at 10 am so i hopped on that after eating breakfast. kevin said bye to me in the middle of the call and went to work. the call went pretty well and then i spent another 30 minutes doing some visual work for the customer. then i decided to skip lunch and just head out to fedex and the prudential center so i could get back home and eat a later lunch. i spent an hour or so at warby parker trying on frames and i think i found the ones i’m going to buy next month (: woot. then i stopped by the eataly in the mall and got a plain croissant. it was lemon-flavored o_o; i ate and found this hidden fedex and spent like 2 hours there talking to cliff, the guy who works there. he was a really nice grandpa/dad figure haha. he kept telling me to buy a house in rhode island and invest in it. then he gave me great restaurant recommendations all while i figured out the best font size for the printed map. he also had great opinions about design and he is a super smart guy. i gave him my business card (first business card swap) and i’m definitely coming back to this fedex if i ever need to print anything again.

it was 4:45 pm by the time i got out of there. i commuted back (it wasn’t bad at all). then i ate a bowl of cereal because i was so hungry and then heated up the char siu and toasted the bread. kevin got back and we ate banh mi for dinner. then we chilled on the sofa and kevin got too tired and relaxed to cook omurice so i’m on my own tomorrow and he’ll buy lunch LOL. i managed to get in my arm workout at the end of the day before showering and hitting the sack. i went to sleep later than usual at around 12:30 am?

16: i woke up very unsettled... i’m still pretty unsettled. it’s something about my friendships right now that make me feel this way... anyway, i got up at 8:45 am and then started my day. it was a pretty productive day! there were a lot of loose ends to tie with the things we’ve been working on but everything was coming together. i watched some masterchef and youtube videos while working. i made some fried rice for lunch and only ate a bit. i think i needed to add more oil or even butter. :P after work, i did manage to do 30 minutes of kickboxing cardio without weights and my feet were pretty okay? kevin went climbing today but came back early still. kevin refried the rice with butter and made some veggies. i ate a lot of the fried rice because it was sooo good after being cooked with the butter. the rest of the night we showered, chilled and relaxed. it was going to be a chill af weekend and i hope my feet would make a full recovery. i ko’d at around 11 pm or 12 am.

17: lol i annoyed kevin in the morning. he was trying to sleep but it was like 9-10 am and he said we would go grocery shopping and go to coco leaf early in the morning. so i kept bouncing on the bed and stuff like that. he yelled at me LOL. T_T i was hurt for a bit but it was also my fault. we ate a bit of breakfast before heading to coco leaf and then drove into dorchester for the first time. we were in a very vietnamese neighborhood haha. we ordered a che thai, che lychee, hello vietnam savory crepe, tray cai sweet crepe, and their big bang flavored popcorn chicken. the popcorn chicken was meh and so were their crepes. they were alright. their che were delicious though. kevin’s was more refreshing and floral and mine was the traditional che thai with durian tho :O it was slightly overpowering but i got used to it. we couldn’t finish 2/3 of the savory crepe (most vietnamese tasting food we’ve ever had -- i think it was the hams in there) and got it to go. we drove back home, meal planned, and then tried getting a tour of a room in deco that has a den in it. we couldn’t because the current tenants haven’t moved out yet so we just decided to put our names down. we have 3 days to figure out if we want to stay in deco for the same price. i think we’re staying because we don’t have time to move.

we got groceries at kam man, good fortune, and then bj’s. then we came back home and chilled for the rest of the day. i managed to make myself play bravely default again (been procrastinating). kevin and i went out to grill some hamburgers and ate them for dinner. then i kept gaming until i felt like i needed to do a bit of moving. i did some butt exercises and then showered and gamed with kevin until 2 am? lol my sleeping schedule is totally messed up now. :(

18: we got up at around 10 am and then we ate breakfast and i did a bit of gaming before we headed out to bj’s again to use our coupons. we were in and out and then headed to the movies to get tickets to watch wonder woman. we got tickets to captain underpants instead because there weren’t any good seats left for the wonder woman showtimes x_x; plus, kevin heard that the captain underpants movie was pretty good. we drove back home and then chilled until we needed to go back to the movies. i gamed, did laundry, and got into low-impact exercising! kevin gamed and read fanfic lol. the movie was pretty funny but it did get a little slow in the middle. overall, i could see why it has an 85% on rotten tomatoes. we got back home, i cleaned the bathroom and kitchen, kevin started cooking, and before all of that though, i got real hungry during the movie so we heated up some tyson chicken strips. uhh, they’re alright... they’re kind of mushy on the inside. i prefer their nuggets. i gamed for the rest of then night, talked to hillary on the phone for a bit, and finally got to the last chapter of bravely default. i’m gonna finish this game!!! D:< i stayed up way later than i expected and ended up sleeping at like 1 am. x_x; i was definitely going to work from home again because my feet are still recovering :(

[fragiilexa]

1 - 10

identity ask………oh shit           ACCEPTING

1. if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

Hm, well I guess this is three questions omg but I’ll just go down the line. If they wanted to really understand me they’d have to read the Bible, which I know is saying a lot in one thing. But the reason I am the way I am is because of the things I’ve learned from that book and I would not be who I am without it. Of course I actually haven’t been able to read the whole thing yet but I take a lot of who I am from it & it’s just something that’s shaped me as a person? Oh but also I really don’t read books much anymore, but if I had to give another one it would be The Last Song? Maybe? ( The book is better than the movie, even tho I like the movie, the books better ) It just talks a lot about forgiveness & stuff and it was a lesson I really needed to learn at the time I read it & also am still learning. OH and also Crazy Love by Francis Chan, which is like a christian book, but it’s also had a huge impact on me, okay but onto watchin’.

Okay this is hard because there isn’t one full thing you could watch where the whole thing has impacted me. But there are a lot of movies I’ve learned from, ( and also since this doesn’t say specifically movies ) there are also a few speeches that I’ve really learned from ( and people would probably be able to understand me better if they watched them. But I can’t name those right now? But, I’d have to say, like, not as a whole, but Dr. Who, at least some specific episodes. Uh, Captain America?? The Help? There are more but I have a hard time naming movies/shows.

Okay and then music, fricken music, okay I could put so so so so many songs down, songs are like the soul of my life & help make me, me BUT I’m just going to give you ONE because if I didn’t this would go on forever and TWO it’s kind of my theme song but I Was Here, by the queen Beyonce. Is like, hands down my favorite *what makes me, me* song. I could name a lot more. I could make a 24 hour long playlist. But I won’t bc that would take forever. 

2. have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?

Yes, There have been a few and most of them are not on anymore but, Kae I think I can solidly say we think very similarly on just, like, how to develop muses, how to work out characters and how REAL they’re supposed to be, you know? Characters can, and should have flaws and no one has tons of perfect relationships. Real life is messy & writing should reflect that & I think we are just hella synced with that message & feeling and she’s just lovely so yeah @spookylip is bae & we think alike ( obviously bc we took those selfies that matched wITHOUT EVEN KNOWING ) we are #one

3. list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.

Girl Meets World: Riley Matthews.Glee: Tina Cohen - Chang.Marvel: Captain America, Steve Rogers.Hamilton: Eliza or Peggy SchyulerDisney: HeiHei ( no just kidding ) Moana, Princess Anna, Rapunzel,Harry Potter: Newt ScamanderStar Wars: FinnMy Little Pony: ( don’t u dare judge ) FlutterShyTwilight: Alice Cullen

4. do you like your name?  is there another name you think would fit you better?

Okay so I used to not like my name so much ‘cause it was really bland & there were a lot of other girls named rebecca when I was in school, then people started calling me rachel so it was like ‘my name is totally forgettable’ ( or i was i dunno ) but over the past few years I’ve started to love it, though someone ruINED the meaning of it for me *side eyes that kinky anon* but I don’t really care & I love my name now, just, never ever call me becky or I will murder u in ur sleep. :))))

5. do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do?

I was slightly confused reading this but I re-read it & now I get it. I think at the moment, or for the longest time I’ve been a human being, like, there are just no opportunities right now for me to be doing what others my age are, or even younger than me. Not only that but I have to work on a lot of anxieties of mine, but that being said I don’t think I’m doing nothing. What I’m doing is small, yeah, but I try to do the best I can with what I have & I have a lot of faith that things happen for a reason & right now I’m keeping things going in my family & trying to better myself, no matter how many downsides that has, sort of. & I do Identify myself by the things I do, mostly because in doing something you have the opportunity to help someone. I try to do the right things, sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t but it’s a daily thing, y’know?

6. are you religious/spiritual?

Yah. You can see that with some of my answers but I am, though I know right now a lot of people assume that if you’re religious ( especially christian, on this site at least ) that it automatically means you’re this, this & this *insert any form of ism or phobic term* but that’s really not how it works. We’re all sinners & no matter what that still doesn’t change the way God feels about us ( no matter what, we, as humans think is sin, or sinful ) I could go on a lot about this topic, honestly it’s a big part of who I am. But personally, I love God, I have a personal relationship with him that I try to work on daily & grow with him daily, my God is all loving and I just wished more people my age, or at least people on here knew that?? I dunno, there’s just so much rhetoric surrounding Christianity & most of it is wrong & I just??? Mmmm I’m getting off topic but yes! I am! It’s like a huge part of what keeps me going, I love Jesus.

7. do you care about your ethnicity?

YES. Oh my Gosh yeah, okay well I’m white, lmao, but where I come from is still like, really important to me. It used to not be. I actually used to be kind of… not ashamed but embarrassed when my Mom did really dutch things. Like, ok backing up, My grandpa moved here from the Netherlands when he was in his early teens around the time that the holocaust happened, though I couldn’t give you the exact date because I’m hella forgetful but he came with his parents and he met my Grandma and u know the deal it goes down the line. But anyways I used to like, not like the things that came with being dutch, like, I just thought it was all stupid & silly, like clogs & doilies & stupid little things like my great grandma & grandpa always used to use forks & knives with everything because it was a custom where they came from & like, it’s all small things but over the years I’ve just learned to be really proud of where my family came from? My Grandpa went through a lot to come here, he saw a lot of things he never talked about and I didn’t know him well because I was young when he died but I just really love embracing my heritage there & stuff. 

Like I’m white yes, and I’m basically a ‘mystery white’ ‘cause my dad is a mutt  & my mom isn’t fully dutch either. I’m one of those 10% Irish 25% Hungarian 50% Dutch & 15% other type of whites, but??? I’m still proud of all of it?? Like I love learning about where I came from & who I am & I think everyone should be proud of all parts of their ethnicity. As Matthew Montgomery said: “ Love all your percentages. “  

8. what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime?

shiT fam, this is getting so long & it’s gonna get longer, okay let me just do like… two, tha two tops…

Demi Lovato: Obviously, I mean… obviously She is one of the people I look up to most and I don’t know where I would be if I never had her & her music in my life. She’s taught me so much about strength and confidence and overcoming something when it looks like it will be impossible. She’s helpped me grow into someone who cares & wants to learn & help others and I just admire her so much for what she’s done, for herself, for others and for never giving up when she could have. Not to mention the ballads that have helped me through really hard times, or the speeches she’s given that remind me I’m strong & capable 

Taylor Swift: *que everyone groaning who’s reading* anYWAYS I can’t even honestly write down or explain how many times that Taylor and her music has helped me when I felt like I wanted to give up, or how many times I have cried listening to songs that should not have resonated with me but did. She’s helped me to realize not only that I am important but that no matter what, despite what people may do to me, or make me feel that I’m still important and worth working on. She’s also shown me what goofing off can do to make you feel better, how not giving a shit has helped me move on from past relationships and how being unapologetically ME is okay

In fact, I feel like Demi’s taught me those things too. But they’ve both done it in different ways, which I think shows how beautiful loving yourself can be. Because you don’t have to love yourself how another person loves themselves. You have to figure out your own, unique way to view yourself & believe in yourself & love yourself & I think that’s just really beautiful. Now, they both hate each other ( or at least severely dislike one another ) but I just feel like they’ve both done so much for me and I don’t think I could thank either of them enough for showing me strength, beauty, confidence and love in the way they have. It’s insane how much of an impact people can have but they have. I could go on but I woont I promise.

9. are you an artist?

YES I am, though my skill can be debated I love drawing when I’m in the mood & painting & jst everything that has to do with art. 

10. do you have a creed?

I don’t know if this means religious, or… otherwise… but I mean, technically I’m a baptist christian ( i think? not sure anymore ) but like, I am Christian, I feel like, sadly, the beliefs I hold are a bit left leaning & less erm, strict? When it comes to how I interpret the bible, where as a my family is different, I think? I don’t know, but I just try to follow the teachings of Jesus & his disciples. “ Love others as I have loved you - John 15:12 “ I do go by other teachings but I think that’s the top of my list. Jesus loves us unconditionally, he died for us, lived for us, and rose again so we didn’t have to burn up in hell for eternity. The least I can do is show everyone the same kind of unconditional love he’s showed me throughout my life & make sure people know that though we do sin & are inherently bad at heart, he still loves us despite our downfalls and doubt. I don’t know if that really answers this question but I had to look up creed & this is the best answer I came up with SO, thank u for sending this in and I love u

[hellotvv]

Week

This week has been a kinda cool week tbh. 

Thursday, I got my new chair fully built thanks to my friend Brent that help built it with me. This chair is super cool and comfy! Idk my room looks pretty sick rn tbh. We both played in the sm4sh tournie and I got 4th, which is pretty good. There was a salty suite exhibition match between kyros and me, and I won super easily 3-0 haha. :3 Not gonna take time to explain the salty suite, but yeah. Did good in smash tournie and then went for a late night mcd run with brent and andrew. Myfitnesspal does not appreciate that LOL. 

Friday morning, was supposed to briefly visit chloe at her work and then go to office hours with ochem lab ta. But it was raining super hard, so uhhh I decided not to... I slept till like 2, then it was time for a food adventure. Brent, Henry, Bryan, and I drove like 45 mins to go to olive garden lmao. Henry never been there before and idk SB surprisingly doesn’t have an olive garden... But it was a fun trip with the boys and got pretty full. Ate too many calories, so I didn’t eat dinner that Friday haha. Then I stayed up and managed to cop 2 yeezys. Brent was supposed to stay up with me like he said, and cop them too. But he fell asleep rip. I got his size actually and my size. But idk if I should sell to him for retail (since I’d lose ilke $400 compared to reselling). I would have, but he was uh a bad boi and went to sleep and asked me to try to cop for him. But it’s like, I can’t be rewarding him when I stayed up all night to cop. So I’ll wait and see if he deserves it, if not I’ll just sell and get $$. 

I ended up not sleeping really, since at 10 I was meeting someone on craigslist to sell this brand new iphone 7 I got, and got a quick $550 in cash wooo. Then I ate dennys with brent, went home, facetime fyona a bit, passed out, and then hung out with Kristy and Jessica. They were having housemate issues, since their housemates are very spoiled and demanding bad housemates. I came by to kinda just stop them from arguing, since they’re not gonna argue with a random friend stopping by. It was nice talking to Kristy and Jessica tho, and we watched an episode of Riverdale together, since it has Cole Sprouse! It’s on CW, which is same network as Arrow, The Flash, Super Girl, etc. I think the first episode was ok, idk I didn’t think it was that good to keep watching. But we’ll see if I continue it. I managed to keep up with The Flash nowadays tho, so that’s cool.

Tomorrow, it’s study bois! Gonna grab brunch with the boys and then head to library and study hard! So we’ll see how that goes haha. My new housemate is okie, haven’t really interacted with her tbh, she stays in her room a lot and we haven’t had too much convos together yet. Tmrw (technically today) is also Fyona’s bday, so i wished her a happy bday. Prob will buy her a gift sometime soon and give to her over 3 day weekend, we’ll see 

Then it’s Valentine’s Day soon on Tuesday. Prob will have some dedicated valentine’s day post like I always do each year. I have a photoshoot pic to post on valentine’s day, so yay photography content to post! Slowly growing instagram, but been too busy to maintain it.

Idk I’ve been having busy week, but the ending of this week has been nice. I need to find time to gym more, probably edit more photos, and yeah. I had a photoshop scheduled for saturday, but it got rescheduled to this thursday. So hopefully that’ll go well! 

I’m feeling a bit sleepy, prob will read some chinese novels, and then pass out for tomorrow. Hopefully tomorrow will be a good day like always. Maybe Valentine’s Day thoughts post soon-ish.