#it’s not an original take. it’s tiresome and not at all true

[cto10121]

Et tu, Folger’s Library?

"The love story is a subplot!!1!" I can’t

[carbonfiction]

Could you do some angst Logan x mutant!reader comfort. Like maybe she has a similar origin to Logan where she was tested on for her powers and escaped. She ends up at the mansion and that’s how her and Logan end up together.

I’ve been wanting to write this myself for a while but haven’t had time. I need to see some truama bonding and comfort for that man with someone who really understands what it’s like. I would give anything to be that person. 😭

Hi anon!! Im so sorry this has taken me so long to get to- despite some little changes on the request, and my unsureness on writing angst, i hope you enjoy this drabble!

One step at a time

Summary: sleep can be a fickle thing, a struggle more personal than most.. But it just so happens theres another person in the mansion that understands. Written with X1 logan in mind!

Warnings?: angst, mentions of nightmares and troubled sleep, self doubt, slight depression? Comfort and fluff at the end? Idk how to tag this really.. Words: 1.5k Masterlist

People were scared of things they didn’t understand, of people that didn’t fit in to a societal box. And being a mutant? Well, you became the scariest thing of all. An unknown, a secret unshared in a room full of people.

To some, that fear, that little nagging doubt about what you are, what you could do.. fuelled somthing else entirely. Not fear, not quite, more an evil kind of curiosity. A fixation to poke and prod, bend and snap, push the limits of their fear regardless of yours in the name of science. Regardless that you too, we’re a person, different now yes, but still born of the same matter once.

Careless to the person you were, only the thing you could become. And even then, if you weren’t useful.. you were useless. Another mistake in a pile of scraped idea's, a caged creature begging for a way out.

You never wanted it, never asked to sit in a room and wonder why. Why you, why this. There was never a good enough answer, never a reason, not really. Some People were just cruel, vile and nasty, out for their own gain.. to test the limits of humanity.

But then it begged the question, what was humanity? Because it wasn’t this. It wasn’t the sleepless nights afraid to close your eyes. The sanctity of sleep a luxury. Peace a rationed thing.

Therefore It had become normal to find you in the dead of night, curled up the couch in front of the fireplace; whilst everyone else slumbered. Sometimes a book in hand, other times just your thoughts. Embered flames burning bright and warm, the crackle of wood often the only sound. It was how your relationship with Logan had bloomed.

From wordless nods walking down corridors to conversations and nights shared infront of the fire; he had become pleasant company, a friend you regarded higher- one who understood better- than most. He'd seen the same horrors behind his eyes, the years a tiresome thing.

So it's here you sit, like always, in your spot on the couch peering between pages of a book and the old grandfather clock, waiting for Logan.

It was late and he'd usually show up around now, your meetings held in a trusted pact- an agreement that if sleep held pain, this is where you'd find one another. It was up to choice then, if you'd relocate to one of your room's; if you felt the embrace of the others arms would quiet the horror, just for a while.

Because while it's true that you both may no longer be broken here in the mansion.. you'd always be bruised bone deep.

"Hey" Logan murmers softly, breaking you from your thoughts as you crane your neck toward him. Hes stood tall in the doorway, clad in sweats and a white vest, two steaming mugs in hand as he pads closer, handing you one over the back of the couch. "Figured you'd want a drink, tried to make it how you like"

You nod, taking a tentative sip with a greatful smile. Your eyes fluttering shut a moment as you swallow, relishing the warmth. Logan had indeed made it the exact way he knew you loved, and it swells your heart; the fondness you feel for the action- for him. "'S perfect, thank you.."

"Was nothin.." he shrugs, sighing into his own cup, back hitting the couch besides you. the cushions are a soft embrace for his aching body, the days seeming longer. He'd confessed one night, that the winter had never helped his affliction. That the cold air made his adamantium bones ache in a way that seemed impossible to describe. The sting of his knuckles that bit sharper with each snikt of his claws.

You shift quietly, book page marked and now placed on the coffee table. Logan watches silently as you reach for the soft blanket that lays dormant on the back. Your fingers adjusting the fabric carefully, unfolding and draping it until it rests over his knees too.

Logan smiles, a look reserved for these nights- for you- in his eyes. Its a soft, greatful, little thing; Unreminicent of his usual gruff demeanor. he lifts a large arm bringing it to rest snug behind your shoulders, tugging you closer.

Theres a comfortable silence that follows then, sat side by side. Logan simply watches as you pick the book back up, resuming your page. A warm feeling in his chest that he hasn't felt for a while as your eyes flit across the words.

He still cant understand how anyone could- would- hurt you. Would even dare harm a delicate hair on your head. It boils a possessive type of anger inside of him, that people, the very same that had hurt him, had dared. That they had ruined your trust, made you into something of their design, just like him.

And Its then that Logan cant help how his mouth moves, how it burts the words before he can even think to stop them, make them sound less jumbled. "You uh.. didn't deserve it you know?.. What they did"

The words feel foreign on his tongue but they hold meaning- one that you can feel as you cast your gaze to him.

Theres a look in your eyes he cant quite read as you hum honestly. "Neither did you. you know that right?"

And Logan knows. Hell its deep down but he knows. Yet hearing the words still bring an ache to his chest. Its beyond hard for him to even think about- admit really- even after all this time. He hadn't deserved it and neither had you. But that was certain weather perceived or not.

"Im.. Tired, logan" you trail quietly, casting your book aside as your head falls to rest on his shoulder. "Just.. So tired of being tired."

A shattering feeling stabs at Logan's chest from your admission, a sigh falling against your hair. "I know you are. Hell so am i but.." he pauses, trying to find the correct sentiment.

"We- you- can do this"

You can't help the exhaled sound that slips from you, not a laugh, not not a breath either. "Logan-" you try to protest, try to shift back inside your non vulnerable shell ready to shut down, but he has you locked next to him, fingers coming to rest on your jaw.

"No, look at me, Cmon" he murmurs, cupping and turning your cheek gently until your gaze meet his. "like you told me that once. Its one step at a time alright?"

You recall saying it, remember the context, and yet the idea of saying it to yourself feels foreign- as foreign as the words blurted from logans tongue.

He'd had a nightmare that night, had woken with a hoarse scream and his claws embedded in the plush mattress; pillows ruined with feathers everywhere, soaked in sweat. You'd come barreling in from downstairs having heard his sounds of distress, knowing the situation.

But.. You hadn't laughed, despite him being so surrounded by pillow feathers that he's sure he looked like big bird. You hadn't been cruel or judgemental, pitty in your eyes. You'd just been.. Well, you. Kind and understanding, reassuring him that it was okay, that he was safe. To take a shower and you'd sort the rest. It was from then that the fondness he felt for you had bloomed to something a little more inside of him.

You nod gently, a small, barely there smile on your lips now as you repeat. The light of the fire a soft glow in your eyes, tone a fraction more hopeful. "One step at a time"

"Yeah, thats it sweetheart" he smiles gently, a proud look in his own eye's, before his throat clears. A bashful look taking over his features as he continues, thumb absentmindedly stroking over your cheekbone. A distraction to the honesty he was going to drop "Besides.. you got this knucklehead who'd really like to keep this.. Us.. up"

You swallow, breath stuttering as your cheeks heat."You.. You would?" you sound a little surprised, yet a little hopeful, and It makes Logan smile, hearing your heart pounding in your chest.

"Yeah sweetheart" he breathes, voice a low gravel as he anxiously nods, before rushing to add. "if- if thats something you'd want?"

"Yes!" you exclaim, so excitedly it makes logan chuckle, the deep rumble joining the crackling fire. "I, uh, i mean.. ofcourse i do Logan"

Logans fingers tilt your face higher, his forehead coming to rest on yours as your fingers trace over his scruff coated jaw. "Things are better with you.." you murmer, breath puffing over his lips. "Lighter. You get it, get me.. This.."

He hardly lets you finish before his lips are pressed to yours, breaking the miniscule gap between them. His kiss so uncharacteristically gentle, like he was afraid one taste and you'd break.

"Things are better with you too.." he says quietly, forehead on yours, a smile against your mouth as his nose rubs your cheek.

And so Its that night you both agree, while wrapped up in one another, that things are better together. Better with each others shoulder to lean on. And despite the darkness that would still linger sometimes, that's all that mattered. You and him. Him and you.

[starcrossedxwriter]

Wicked Fantasies Part 11.2 (MBJ x Black OC)

A/N: Long awaited and well over due. This is basically chapter 12 but it really connects to 11.1. Nothing to say except enjoy!

“Michael, stop messing with the fuckin’ cuff links!” Alex called over to him from her spot on the couch. “I thought you weren’t nervous??” 

Michael cut his eyes toward his agent before forcing his fingers away from the gold cufflinks near his wrist. That had been his original claim when he arrived at his suite to get ready, proudly boosting that he did not feel nervous at all. And some part of him had believed that was true. But as makeup ended and he got dressed, the nerves started to settle in. Tonight was no longer some distant potential achievement. It was here and now. And his shoulders were starting to feel the weight of that pressure. He tried his best to remain excited and upbeat but there were some ticks he simply couldn’t hide. 

“Ha ha. I’m just… you know, already ready for it to be over. Gotta sit through 100 fuckin’ awards before they get to mine. Just gonna be a long night.” 

“Whatever you say,” she muttered, her face scrunching up at her phone for a minute. 

“Somethin’ wrong?” his antenna going up immediately, anxiety that something had already gone wrong seeping into his confident facade. “Fuck… You think we should’ve gone with the other suit, don’t you??” 

“Nigga… they’re both black tuxes, calm down. No one’s ever looked at you to be the pillar of fashion. You look great, that’s all that matters. Just taking care of some last minute details, boring shit you wouldn’t be interested in.” 

Michael knew not to press any farther as she immediately changed the subject, standing up and starting to walk over to him. He watched as she studied the time on her phone screen for a moment as his stylist’s assistant slid on the tailored jacket for his suite.

“Can someone check on his mom? Jason went to check out the space and it’s ready for photos. We gotta start in 10 though if we want to make it to the carpet.” 

“I’ll go.” 

He was thankful his mom agreed to accompany him on such a momentous occasion, she was the only date he could fathom taking as the woman he wanted was unavailable. 

Raven. 

Some fantasy that she would call or text him good luck drove him to check his phone every 20 minutes or so, praying for anything that signaled that she thought of him as he did her. She tortured his every waking thought, even after agreeing to give her the space she desperately wanted and needed. But his soul did not want space, his soul wanted their better half, the person who made all of this worth something. 

He shook his head for a moment and forced her to the back of his brain, where he knew she would only stay for a short while. No more than 10 minutes would go by before someone or something reminded him of her. But when he thought of her too long, the sparse stitches holding those wounds together tore open and blood flowed earnestly from them. And such emotional agony would not stand on the biggest night of his career. So he forced a smile onto his face and thoughts of a love he would likely never have again behind the barriers around his heart and knocked on the door to his mother’s room. 

However, he was not prepared to find her still clad in the lounging set Raven and he had bought her for Christmas, completely unprepared to attend the biggest night in Hollywood. 

“Ma, what’s wrong? We gotta leave soon. Why aren’t you dressed?” 

“Well I didn’t want to worry you while you were getting ready but I’m just not feeling well. I don’t think I can make it all evening. I’m sorry, baby.” 

Michael’s face fell ever so slightly at the disappointment, though he tried his hardest to hide it. It was not his mother’s fault that she was not feeling well and even he knew the rest of the day would be tiresome and exhausting for even those in good spirits. So he did not want her trying to suffer through on his account. However, he would not pretend that it did not sting, to know that he would not have anyone there to support him, hold his hand. That he would spend tonight… completely alone. 

Her renewed apologies made him fix his face immediately, knowing that she likely already felt badly for canceling on him. He had no interest in making her feel any worse. 

“I really am sorry, baby. But I wasn’t the date you wanted to take anyway,” she chuckled, her eyes filled with sympathy. 

Those makeshift barriers dissolved into nothing stronger than paper at her words. And as flimsy as they originally were, they were all he had to hold onto to get through tonight. 

“Don’t apologize, ma. Really no big deal at all. You should rest. And you know you’re always my favorite date. Besides, your love is the reason I’m here. You’ll always be my #1,” he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. When her eyes, unsurprisingly, filled with tears, Michael chuckled a bit. “Don’t cry on me. Alex will kill me for messin’ up this makeup.”  

She took a tissue and whisked away the pools of tears in her eyes before adjusting his bowtie.

“You know how proud I am of you? How lucky I am to be your mom? I thank God for you, your sister, and your brother every day. And all I’ve ever wanted for each of you is to live out your dreams and be happy. No matter what you do or who you’re with. Just that. Tonight you’re seeing God’s manifestation of your dreams and win or lose, I couldn’t be prouder of you. But even I know, only one person could make you truly happy tonight. That facade might fool the world but not me. I saw how happy she made you, Bakari. How she turned my scared little boy into a brave and vulnerable man without even trying. I may have gotten you here but her love and adoration and the love you have for her will keep you here. Will help you reach dreams I couldn’t even comprehend for you. And that’s a woman I’ll happily step into the #2 spot for any day.”

“Thanks ma… but I don’t think she wants that spot anymore… wants me anymore. Hell, I don’t even know where she is in the world.” The resigned smile on his face and the humorless laugh could not hide the depths of his sadness as he recalled the message he received from David letting him know that Raven boarded a flight to only God knows where. He had failed and even tonight could not take his mind off the 101 ways he failed the love of his life. “I screwed up. Gotta accept the consequences. I wanna be the man you raised and the man she thought she fell in love with. Even if I don’t get to be that for her.” 

“Give it time, Bakari. You know what I always reminded you three. Everything meant for you will come to you or find its way back to you. God never denies what he ordained as yours, sweetheart. Something to remember for more than one reason tonight.”

There was a certain mischievous glint in her eyes that did not match the typical motherly tone in her voice. “More than one reason” stuck out in his brain. 

What the fuck does that even mean? 

“What do you me-?” he started to ask when his mother cut him off. 

“Oh gosh, you know I didn’t even notice the time? You should go, dear. Don’t wanna get in trouble with that Alex, do we?” 

Realizing that it was almost showtime forced his confusion right out of his brain as he forced himself to focus on the moment, his moment. 

“Nah we don’t. She’s terrifyin’,” he admitted. “How about you lay down and rest for a while and Allen can take you home when you feel better? Or you can enjoy the suite for the night? Totally up to you.” 

“Thank you, baby. I’ll hang out here, let the traffic clear a bit then head to your sister’s. Everyone’s watching there. You look amazing. Can’t wait to see you shine tonight ” 

“Thanks, ma. Aight, I should head down to take pictures. Love you.”  

He squeezed her hand before she turned around and closed the door of her room behind her.  

He walked back to where his team was waiting. The lack of noise and hustle and bustle in the space caught him off guard as he expected to return to the same chaotic space with his team racing around him. However, only Alex stood waiting on him. 

“Where’d everybody go?” 

“Oh I sent them all downstairs. Figured you wouldn’t mind a couple minutes of peace before the longest night of your life.”  

And that was why, of everyone on his team, Alex was one of the few that stood the test of time. She knew him, truly knew him and what he needed. 

“Thanks.” He paused as he studied her. “You good?” 

Alex had been in the wings of every major career moment in Michael’s life and she typically brought an air of assurance and confidence that put Michael at ease. She was a staple calming force that kept his own anxiety in check. However, tonight? Everything about her seemed off, distracted and anxious in a way that made his empath sensors go haywire. She seemed utterly engrossed in her own phone, which was not unlike Alex but typically she cued Michael in, if nothing else. But tonight, she offered him no insight.  

“Yea… just a big night. Want to make sure everything’s perfect,” she muttered. “Come on… Jason says they’re ready for us.” 

Michael did not need to be the smartest person in the room to immediately recognize that she was hiding something from him. He knew he would never get it out of her as she was the world’s most secure vault for secrets. And there was a part of him that did not even want to know for fear that it would scare him into skipping the night altogether. What if she already found out that he lost? If anyone in his orbit was part of some dark Hollywood back channel, Alex would be it. Or something happened to Raven and she did not want him to lose his shit right before the event. Because they both knew he would drop all of this in a heartbeat for her. Foolish? Perhaps but that was how he knew he had found true love, his soul mate. Because nothing in this life was as important as her and he would drop all of it to rush to her side if she asked. But she would never ask, because she did not consider herself worthy of sacrifices, which only served as fuel to spend everyday proving to her that she was.

Why did he even try not to think of her? Somehow, every thought was merely the first step down a path that led right to Raven’s doorstep. 

He trailed slightly behind Alex as she led him to the elevator. However, before she hit the button, she stopped. 

“Oh shoot. I need to stop by my suite. Forgot somethin. It’s just down the hall, it’ll take two minutes. Got a gift for you for your big night. A little good luck charm.” 

“Alex, you know you didn’t need to get me shit.” And he truly meant that. He was just grateful to have Alex in his corner, her presence and commitment to his career was a gift in and of itself. “And send me the bill for your suite. Would’ve just gotten it for you.”

“Nah, it’s all good. It was last minute and I only got it for convenience, really.” She used her key to open the door and held it open so Michael could walk inside. 

However, as she opened the door, her usual resting bitch face (Alex’s words, not his) turned into a bright grin, one that she clearly tried desperately to minimize but couldn’t. And while Michael had expected flowers or a gift basket or even a bottle of his favorite rum, now he wondered if the gift was something far bigger than that. What he did not expect, when he turned the corner into her suite’s sitting area, was to find Raven awkwardly fidgeting with her gown as Jason made last-minute adjustments. 

“Wha…” His words died in his throat as she turned to face him, his stride stumbling backward in shock as he drank her in. 

He could have stood there and stared at her for the rest of the night and it would not have been enough time. Several lifetimes filled with millions of minutes and seconds would hardly scratch the surface of how much time he needed to simply consume her presence, to refill the parts of his soul that had depleted without her. 

Beautiful was a gross understatement for her. She was stunning, a goddess plucked from the heavens and placed among lesser men. Michael did not think he had ever laid eyes on a more radiant human being. But it was not her stunning beauty that caused tears to spring to his eyes. It was the look of renewed hope in hers, the smallest flame reignited after it had been utterly extinguished the last time he laid eyes on her. And fuck, that could’ve ended him right then and there. To see hope and light in her again, to see the Raven he had fallen so deeply for, she was all consuming. 

She had not even said a word yet but the impact of her choice to be there, to show up for him and choose him after everything conveyed a love words would not be sufficient enough to. The silence stretched on as he studied all the things that had made him fall in love. The soft expectant smile painted on her face as she stared at him that only solidified that she was willing and ready to rebuild with him. The anxious way her eyes glanced down at her own dress and her hands fidgeted that told him she was searching for his confirmation that he still wanted her here or that she looked beautiful, that reminded him of her awkwardness and endless humility that made him fall in love with her in the first place. The way her eyes, the most expressive aspect of her, somehow told him everything he needed to know without uttering a word. 

“I-I hope this is ok?” she asked quietly as she broke the silence and expectant tension that blanketed Alex’s suite, snapping Michael out of his speechless trance. “Admittedly, I only gave Alex and Jason like 24 hours notice. So our options were kind of limited b-but they said it would compliment yours a-and likely get me on a best dressed list, which d-doesn’t really matter but could be nice? I dunno though… think I’ve had enough publicity for a lifetime,” she laughed anxiously. “But I don’t know what’s appropriate to wear to the Oscars with the 2023 Best Actor and they do. But I know this probably isn’t what you envisioned when you invited me in January. But don’t blame them. It’s definitely my fault. Lost weight so my measurements weren’t quite right and the time thing. Honestly, give them a raise… well I can’t tell you what to do with your money. But you should…” she glanced over Michael’s shoulder at Alex who was staring at her with a look that simply said, ‘speed the reunion up, sis.’ So Raven cut herself off, her last rambling words falling off. “Consider it…” 

“You… you came?” 

“I heard you needed a date?” 

Michael rarely experienced true speechlessness, the right words rarely eluded him. He usually always knew what to say. His brain was on the verge of explosion with all the things he desperately wanted to say, his deepest proclamations of regret and love sat on his tongue but he just did not know where to start, could not find the place to start.

Meanwhile, Raven had an entire soliloquy of how she was ready to forgive and move forward because she loved him planned out in her mind. But every painstakingly chosen word evaporated from her mind as she looked at him, as she stared at the man her soul had come to recognize as her safest place to be. The one place that did not demand she provide her most perfect words or anything from her at all. It simply demanded, insisted, that she just be.

And now, the words that sprung to her mind were not perfect at all. They were raw, they were broken… they were her vulnerabilities, her fear, her pain, and they were her hope. Her wildest fantasies and her dreams. And she was no longer afraid to express them loudly here. Because he was the one place where she could. 

“You remember when I woke up in the hospital and the first thing I said to you was apologizing for not being the girl you wanted? For not being good enough? A-and you told me not to compare myself to h-her… or anyone else. B-”

“Because you’re one of a kind,” Michael finished simply.

“That was one of the nicest things a man… anyone had said to me in so long,” she admitted, her head bowing slightly. “And I didn’t believe it. I wanted to be loved by you so badly, Michael. B-But I couldn’t believe a man like you would ever think I was enough because I wasn’t enough for anyone. I wasn’t right for anyone. A-And I had internalized this narrative that I didn’t deserve love o-or to be happy. That I just deserved some second-rate, half life filled with disregard and pain because other people told me so. A-And when we s-started dating, I finally started to believe that all that hope had been worth something? That maybe I deserved something… better? A-And w-when I saw her, my heart immediately felt like… you were finally admitting it. I wasn’t enough for you either.”

Every punch and injury he sustained playing Adonis Creed paled in comparison to that. He did not know if it was possible to feel worse about what he had done.

“Rae… baby, you gotta know that-“ 

She held up her hand to stop him, Michael immediately falling silent. 

“I know… at the time though? It felt like God confirming everything everyone w-who knew me ever said, t-the fuel for that voice in my head that told me I would never b-be enough, w-was right. And all the ways you showed me I was enough, all the ways you showed up for me… didn’t seem real anymore. And that broke me. So I left, gave you the out I thought everyone who knew me wanted. T-this nuisance out of their lives. But you… you didn’t leave.”

Michael could hear the pure perplexity in her voice, as if the competing voices in her head could not square why he kept reaching out, kept showing up even as she pushed him away. 

“Because I love you.”

“Because you love me.” Raven repeated it but Michael could hear it, the recognition that his words were the truth.

“I… um. I don’t believe I deserve you,” Raven said simply. “But for the first time, I know that I want more than whatever life in the shadows I thought I had to have. I know that I don’t want to push away love a-and happiness anymore. A-and I don’t want to push you away anymore. B-Because you are love, safety, comfort… happiness. I want to believe I deserve better? I want… to believe I deserve you. Because when I’m with you…” 

Raven let out a shaky exhale that felt like her body starting to expel all those tormenting thoughts she internalized as she finally admitted out loud that this love was everything she always wanted. 

“When I’m with you, all I feel is joy. A joy so pure that only something hand crafted by God himself could feel so good. You’re every fantasy I dreamed of but never thought I could have. Since the moment I fell off that damn table like a clumsy fucking idiot, you’ve been my safest place, you’ve been home, and you’ve been one of the few people in my life who’ve loved me unapologetically and loudly.” 

She finally closed the space between them, putting herself within arm’s length of him. 

“And I owe you an apology for… letting my exhaustion and pent up pain blind me to all the ways you’ve loved me loudly since the day we met. Regardless of how tired a-and exhausted I am from falling and crashing into the rocks, you were always worth climbing back up that mountain. You were always worth a second chance. And I should’ve recognized that far earlier.”

A pressure valve Michael did not even know had formed in his body released at her words. It felt like being able to take a deep breath again.

“So I’m here and I’m still hurt a-and exhausted but I’m ready to do something different, ready to run toward the cliff and take the leap and fall again. And I want to do that with you… If I’m not too late?” 

Michael did not even command his legs to move as her confirmation hit his ears. Before either of them could utter another word, she was in his arms. A sweet giggle erupted as he pulled her unexpectedly toward him and crashed his lips against hers. And the peace that brought was unparalleled. 

Raven could have melted against him, her soul at ease for the first time in too long as he held her tightly. 

The rest of their small audience melted away as their hearts and souls sought to reclaim their other half, their kiss spelling out every ache and pain their brief separation caused. His lips felt so familiar, so much like home, that it almost hurt. Every second in his arms felt as if it mended the fissures of Raven’s heart one by one, stitching her back together intentionally and with such care that it made her want to sob. 

Her own foolishness baffled her. How could she have denied herself this? This ethereal, otherworldly type of love. She would never find something comparable with another living soul. Because this insanely perfect man in front of her was it for her. She had never had a real family but in his arms, she could see one and it was everything she had ever dreamed for herself. The emotions of finally accepting, even in objective disbelief, his love for her hit her in waves that gently crashed over her one by one. But she was not overwhelmed like before, drowning beneath them as she fought for air. 

This was serenity, gentle waves blanketing her in warmth and care. Such care that it was painful to pull away to catch her own breath. 

Was breathing really a necessity right now?? She demanded of herself as his touch set off heat and flames of desire as he touched her. Weeks and weeks of deprivation meant she needed this more than she could describe, needed the physical representation of his love. His touch, his kiss, his devotion to her needs.  

She did not even look away from him but her next words were for the pair awkwardly lingering in the room, long forgotten.  

“We need 10 minutes.” 

Alex groaned, breaking the sexual tension in the room with her annoyance, though she acquiesced far faster than Raven expected. Though she suspected his longtime agent could see a losing battle from a mile away. 

“Fine but you really only get 10 minutes. Fuckin’ Oscars not a goddamn industry party. Can’t just roll in whenever we feel like it. And I swear to God… if you fuck on my bed or fuck up your outfits and make up, I’ll spend the rest of my life breaking you two up again.” 

And with that, she grabbed Jason by his sleeve and marched out of the suite, leaving the two of them alone. Raven did not even wait for the click of the door to launch herself back into his arms, her fingers working faster than her mind could direct to undress him. 

If anyone could see them, she imagined their movements were feral, so frenzied with their carnal instincts that it looked purely chaotic. Raven’s dress was in a crumble at her feet, his suit jacket was somewhere Raven could not even see. Her fingers rushed to undo the buttons of his shirt before abandoning the task for his pants. 

“Fuck, why are there so many buttons??” She came up for air long enough to moan in frustration as Alex’s warning rang out in her head. 

Only ten minutes. How was that enough time? That was not even a fraction of the time she required to do all the things her brain demanded she do to feel all of him and ensure he felt all of her too. 

“Fuck I missed you,” he uttered between kisses as he tried to take her incredibly tight but effective spanx off. 

She prayed Alex’s threat was a joke because she did not need a mirror to know her makeup would indeed need more than a light retouch. His kisses were unyielding, sloppy and utterly unrestrained. Their need for each other simply fed off the others and she knew neither would be satiated in ten minutes.

We need to stop, she thought. It was the biggest night of his career. She should stop so he could focus on that, right? 

But she couldn’t, didn’t want to. 

“I need you,” she whimpered, her desire to be filled far louder than the time clock in her head. 

And her voice was so needy that Michael, whose self-control was hanging by a thread, almost gave in. 

The only thing that gave him the strength to stop them before neither of them would be able to stop was the knowledge that she deserved more than a 10-minute quickie. She deserved to be devoured with every ounce of his being devoted to and focused on her. No interruptions, no distractions. She was a goddess to be worshiped with every stroke in her heat and that was not a process that could be rushed.  

“Baby, baby, baby,” he gently cradled her neck, forcing her to slow down and look at him. His resolve was tested at the lust in her eyes, how her entire body was suddenly flushed with heat. “Fuck…” the words were agony to push out but necessary. “I want you so bad. But not like this.” 

Raven, still a work in progress, could not stop the immediate intrusive thought that he did not want her, that she had misread everything. Michael could see it, how her eyes flashed with that fear and insecurity. He would never not want her, he would happily remind her of that every day if necessary. But he knew himself too well. Once he found himself trapped inside her, he would not be able to stop himself. And he wanted to take his time. 

“It’s not you. It’s never you,” he brushed her hair behind her ear. “I just… I want more for this than a 10-minute quickie in a hotel room that isn’t even ours. You deserve more.” 

Her heart swelled at his words, realizing that he was not even thinking about the clock. He was merely thinking about her. That forced her to calm down a bit, her lust still red hot and flowing but the logical part of her brain was taking control again. 

The slight pout on her face made him chuckle and pull her in for another kiss. It was deeper and more sensual, a quiet plea to trust that he would always give her what she needed. Even if not in the exact timing her body desired it. 

“Every moment with you counts and I’m not lettin’ anymore pass that I don’t treat you like you deserve. Trust me, I’ll give you what you need, baby girl. It’ll be worth the wait.” 

Raven knew he was right. Despite the persistent ache in her core, she knew she could wait for what he planned. It would be far better than a rushed reunion on a couch anyway.

“I trust you. Just make sure your team knows to clear your very packed schedule for the next couple days,” she teased as she stole one last kiss before she tried to put some distance between them. Her body still wanted him desperately and while she trusted him, she was not sure she trusted herself. 

But Michael merely pulled her back in and held onto her tighter. 

“Oh the world ain’t gon’ see me or you for more than a couple days. I’m all yours.” He winked at her before helping her get her dress back on and his own suit back on. Once he opened the door to let Alex back in, both of them looked exactly as the two had left them, not a hair out of place. Save Raven’s lipstick, which was completely gone. 

“Damn… three minutes? Knew you couldn’t be worth the hype,” Alex immediately said as she breezed back into the suite, utterly unbothered by the idea that the two might have fucked just moments prior. 

“You always got jokes.” 

Alex immediately fired off last-minute directions to the makeup team to fix Raven’s before they prepared for photos and to leave.  Though Raven had endured the tedious process of getting ready for awards and premieres  before, today was the most hectic yet. But she was not panicked because she stuck close to Michael, who was the picture of ease and calm. He was the eye of this hurricane, the small world that was him purely at ease even when he should not be. 

“You nervous?” she asked as the photographer directed her to perch on Michael’s knee before going to switch out the lens on his camera.  

He offered her the most sincere smile, his eyes glimmering with all the love and adoration he felt toward her. 

“Nah. Why would I be? I already got the most important thing I needed today. Tonight’ll just be a cherry on top.” 

***

Raven was beginning to wonder if her return had turned Michael’s hands into magnets. He barely let her go since they walked out of Alex’s suite. She could not help but laugh when Michael only allowed the photographer two minutes of individual photos before he pulled Raven back into his arms. It was not as if she minded one bit, she had so missed this, missed his touch. It was addicting. 

“You stare at me any harder, I’m gonna combust,” she joked as they sat in the back of his limo, Raven leaning into his side as she had done so many times before. . 

“My bad, my bad. I’m just fuckin’ shocked you’re here.” He weaved his fingers among hers, bringing her hand into his lips. “You know I’m gonna spend everyday making all this shit up to you, right?” 

“I know and I also know it’s unnecessary. I won’t lie, I’m still hurt and confused by what happened. But I know we can fix it. I don’t need you to feel guilty for the rest of our relationship either.”  

“The rest of our lives,” he softly corrected with a playful shove to her shoulder that made her giggle. Fuck he missed that sound, missed her smile.

“The rest of our lives,” she repeated. “I just need you to love me. That’s it.” 

“That’s a given, baby girl.” 

She leaned over and pecked him softly on the lips before settling back in his arms. 

“So… Can I read your speech?” she asked sweetly, knowing there was a terribly crumbled piece of paper stuffed into his jacket pocket. 

“Nope.” 

Raven immediately pouted, putting on the playful sad puppy eyes that always got to him. 

“Those ain’t gon’ work today, baby. But only cause I can’t show you a speech I don’t have.” 

Raven’s eyebrows creased in confusion, immediately assuming that his lack of a prepared speech meant he did not think he would win. How could he think such a thing? 

“Michael… You know you’re gonna win. And you’ve scripted all the others. Why didn’t you write one for tonight? I can jot you something down real quick?” she immediately started to look around as if her cell-phone-sized clutch was big enough to secretly contain a pen and paper. “Allen!” She leaned toward the front. “Do you have any paper? Spare receipt?” 

“Baby, BABY!” Michael called, gripping her hips to guide her back to her seat and calm her panic. “I didn’t say I didn’t write one,” he clarified. “I said I don’t have it. I just realized that… the scripted speeches are not what I want tonight. Need a different direction. So I gave the speech to Alex before we left.” 

Though Raven could guess the reason for a sudden need for a new direction in the 11th hour. But she still found herself asking anyway. “Any reason for this different direction?” 

“Just think I should speak from the heart if I win, you know? Like I did in that interview. If I get to go on that stage tonight, wanna do it as the man I’ve become. Dunno if I have your way with words, though. Not nervous about losing but I’m nervous about fuckin’ up up there, not sayin’ the right thing, you know? Or everyone hating it?” 

Raven’s eyes softened a bit, always appreciating this vulnerable side of him. She knew how difficult and painful it had been to reveal that side to her and to the world. But she knew he was better for it. 

“You don’t need my way with words, baby. You just need yours and yours is poetic, it’s kind a-and loving and true. That isn’t a new direction o-or a new man, Michael. It’s just you. Every moment I’ve known you, that’s just you. You just let me see it and I’m so grateful for it. And you’ve let the world see glimpses of it in the last few months a-and if the response is any indication, the world is grateful too. You’re not nervous about saying the wrong thing. Going out there without the armor you’ve built to protect yourself is just scary. But it’s worth it. You taught me that. Don’t think about the right or wrong words. Just what you want to say about this moment. Whatever words you have will be right.” 

“Feel like you got more poetic on me since January.” 

Raven chuckled and shook her head. “Still only minimally poetic… and I can’t take credit for that one.” But she stopped herself before she said more. Now did not feel like the best moment to drop emotional bombs. 

“We’re here, Mr. Jordan. About three cars in front of us,” Allen called out from the front seat. 

He glanced at Raven, her eyes suddenly swimming with panic that he could tell she desperately wanted to swallow. He could almost see the realization hit her like a wall. She was about to walk out into the public eye for the first time in months at Hollywood’s most significant night of the year. And Michaell had been so elated to have her back that he had not considered how emotionally overwhelming that had to be. 

Raven was determined to hide it as best and long as she could. Tonight was all about Michael and his career. And she had accepted being in the public eye when she decided to go back to him. She knew it would be difficult but he was worth it. They were worth the sacrifice. But her brain assaulted her with every possible name she would be called, the headlines that would materialize tomorrow. And all of that would reflect poorly on him. What if she ruined his life… again?

“Hey, hey, Rae. Baby girl. Look at me,” his hands gently framed her face to force her eyes to him. “Don’t worry about them. It’s just you and me, aight? Tonight’s ours. The first night of the rest of our lives, showing up 100% in our truth. None of this other shit matters. So just focus on me. I won’t let you go, I promise.” 

“Just you and me,” she repeated, nodding slightly. 

And with that, he opened the limo door, standing tall as crowds shouted his name and the chaotic sounds of the carpet filled their ears. 

First night of the rest of our lives. And she was ready. 

***

Though she had not been to many award shows with Michael thus far, she learned one key thing. They were just as boring as they looked on tv except when you were the date of a popular nominee, you did not have the luxury of letting that boredom show. 

Will my jaw ever recover, she wondered as it ached from smiling through three hours of devastatingly mediocre jokes and long-winded speeches. At least the carpet was exciting and thrilling, as daunting as it was. In fact, the carpet was actually fun for the first time.

The chaotic jungle was its usual frantic chaotic place, not any different than she expected. But perhaps it merely felt different because she and Michael were so different from who they were the last time they were out together. They had stripped themselves bare and had shed their armor. They were standing decidedly in their truth and the immense love they shared. And that felt like a new world.

And she noticed so much more than her self-pitied colored glasses allowed her to see. Every protective touch, every studious glance to ensure she was still smiling and well, the well-timed playful remarks or jokes he whispered in her ear right when her nerves started to encroach, every gentle kiss that still held his endless passion for her. She finally saw it all and felt it. And it was everything. 

Michael straightened up next to her, pulling Raven out of her own daydreams. Robert Downey Jr. made his way to the middle of the stage, an envelope labeled Best Actor printed boldly across it. 

She tightened her grip on Michael’s hand. She had a good feeling about this. 

“A leading man is more than an attractive face, though I’m sure every woman would agree that all five men in this category have that quality in common as well. But what they also have in common is vulnerability, empathy, and the courage to search for the humanity and depth of their characters to embody their wants, their fears, their grief, their sorrow boldly and bravely. These five performances are exemplary and remind us all just what a leading man is. Here are the nominees for Best Actor in a Motion Picture.” 

The room dimmed ever so slightly as the reel started to play, the seconds that passed felt more like hours as they watched snippets of each performance. Michael’s was last, Raven’s free hand gently rubbing his arm as she felt his nerves finally kick in. She was impressed he only felt them now, she would have been an utter mess all evening.

“And the winner is…” the Marvel actor did a little fist pump that immediately gave the winner away, deafening applause almost drowning out his name. “Michael B. Jordan, Waves.” 

Michael’s head fell into his hand for a moment, genuine shock coursing through him. He had convinced himself that he would not win to minimize the disappointment. But he had not really considered how it would feel to actually win? To actually receive this honor. And it was more than he could have hoped it would be. 

Raven pulled him into her arms as they stood, tears swimming in her eyes. 

“I’m so proud of you,” she whispered before he kissed her. 

He honestly would have been fine to simply revel in this moment in her arms but he knew the clock was ticking on his speech.

He finally let her go and jogged up the stairs, giving RDJ a hug before stepping in front of the mic. The entire theater was still on their feet applauding and cheering as he stared out into the crowd. 

“Wow. Thank you so much for this. As a kid from New Jersey, you just don't really ever expect your dreams to take off like this, to end up in a place like this. This is just… more than I could’ve ever dreamed for myself. So thank you. There are a million people for me to thank and not enough time before they play me off. My family and friends, my team and manager, the cast and crew who poured their hearts and souls into this film… Without all of you, I wouldn’t have made it here tonight and I’m grateful for your constant support.” 

He glanced down at the trophy in his hand before continuing. “Umm… But there’s one person I do want to thank though and that is the love of my life, Raven Turner. When I look at you, all I can think of is how rewarding it is to be loved by you, to be chosen by you. That makes every day feel like I’ve just won an Oscar. I feel so blessed to be given the opportunity to love you, to stand in your light, and to live everyday working to be the man worthy of your love. Getting to share this moment with you goes beyond anything I could’ve imagined. Thank you for seeing me for all that I am and loving me for it. Thank you for falling with me, baby and I hope I make every day of our lives together worth it.” 

She knew that the tears that streamed down her face were not attractive or good for the camera that was surely about to pan to her but she could not have hoped to care. 

“I love you,” she mouthed though she doubted he could even see her from up there. 

“I love you. Thank you!” He held the statue up in his hand before turning and walking off stage, his standing ovation renewing. 

***

Michael wanted to laugh at how Raven stretched her body like an adorable kitten after sleeping like the literal dead for most of the daylight hours. He did not blame her, they did not stumble back into his house until after 4 am. Once the show ended, the pair bounced from after party to after party drinking, smoking, and dancing the night away. He had not had that much fun at industry events and parties in so long. And it had been so much fun that he was *almost* sad it was over, a perfect final night of an insane run in his career. 

But then he remembered that closing that chapter meant he could focus his attention on the perfect and hopelessly exhausted woman rousing in his arms. They could heal without the distractions of events and the public eye. They could build their lives together officially. The joy of that instinctively caused him to pull her into his chest, pressing his lips to the top of her head. 

“Mornin’ baby,” he whispered, his gruff voice filling her ears as Raven slowly opened her eyes.  

Peace and contentment gently glided through her frame like a light summer’s breeze, easing all the aches and pains she had felt before. She had missed this… falling asleep snuggled in his arms, wrapped lovingly and tightly in his scent. She would have been inclined not to move until she caught a glimpse of the time on his iPad. 

She let out a soft gasp as she tried to shoot up, shocked at how late she slept. However, his tight grip stopped her from lifting much beyond her head and chest. 

“You gotta let me go, baby. We should get up. It’s almost 3 pm… sorry, don’t even know how I slept that fucking late. I know you got shit to do.” 

“We had a late night and there ain’t shit to do today. And if there had been, I would’ve told you. Rest.” 

She used the back of her hand to rub her eyes as she glanced at him, studying how his eyes returned to a script on his iPad that was highlighted to death. She merely rolled her eyes. Of course he would be working right after the biggest night of his career. 

“How long have you been up?” 

“Since 11 or so?” he shrugged. “Figured I’d relax and read some scripts my team pulled for Outliers. Been so crazy, they’ve just been piling up. Grabbed a snack bout an hour ago and made you some tea but it’s definitely cold. I can make you more if you want.” 

“Why didn’t you wake me??” 

He merely shrugged with his unbothered charm, his hand gently rubbing her back, which lulled her into laying her head down on his chest again despite her brain’s alarm bells to get up.

How am I so tired?? She wondered as her eyes threatened to fall shut again. All her body wanted to do was fall asleep in his arms.  

“When you didn’t even move when I got up, it seemed like you needed the rest. And still do.”  

“I’m good.” 

“Those bags under your eyes say otherwise.”

“I know you ain’t talking…” she offered back, glancing pointedly at the equally stark dark circles under his eyes. 

“Touche. But no actor gets enough sleep. Early call times, global press tours, events and after parties. It’s the name of the game. You haven’t been taking care of yourself?” His annotation was that of a question but they both knew the answer. “How much sleep you been getting since we-” Michael stopped himself, the words he held back still hanging heavily in the air. There was still so much they still had to discuss, wounds that were still unhealed and unresolved. 

While Michael thought Raven was always stunning, he could not ignore the obvious toll the events of late had taken on his girl. He thought it had just been emotional but he had not seen her long enough to notice the physical strain his actions had caused too. And while she had told him not to feel guilty, he did. So he was not going to wake her up or bother her when it was clear she required a reset. And while he would always adore her for rallying for him last night, today was a new day. And she deserved to be catered to and have someone take care of her for a change. 

“Couple hours a night… Between the break up and the paparazzi during the first couple weeks… and then all the shit on social media, I was just on edge 24/7, my brain couldn’t shut off long enough to sleep… or sleep well. I had some old sleeping pills I used some nights when I was desperate but… it was hard not to think about everything over and over and over again. And then wallow in it.” 

“You stopped eating too? You lost weight.” 

Raven chuckled. “You know most men wouldn’t have a problem with their girlfriend losing a couple pounds. Wasn’t like I didn’t need to.” 

“You’re fuckin’ sexy at any weight but I gotta problem with anything that means you ain’t taking care of yourself. Especially when it’s my fault.” 

“I didn’t do it on purpose and it’s no one’s fault. I just… didn’t really have an appetite a lot. But that’s starting to come back. I’m fine, Michael. Truly. We’re still celebrating you, can’t end that early just to fuss over little ole me.” 

Michael knew she wanted him to pretend he believed her for the sake of not discussing this right now. But what was the point in that? He would not pretend he had not been terrified for her. That he was not still terrified at how all of this had worn her down. And he knew it was not just what he did, it had just been the final straw in a life-long list of painful experiences. But one thing Raven had always had when he looked at her was hope, even if the flame was as small as a dying candle. There was always an air about her that let him know she genuinely believed things would get better one day. 

But when he saw her at her apartment, the night at that bar? That was gone, completely extinguished. Her eyes, his favorite part of her, held nothing but sorrow. He would not be able to live with himself if he ever saw that look in her eyes again. 

“You aren’t fine, Rae. I know that shit. And I’m allowed to worry about you. I mean shit, how you looked after that video was bad enough. Then the bar?? Not gon’ forget that shit happened just cause we’re back together. And I’m not gon’ pretend you’re fine when you aren’t either. You’re not gonna keep sweeping your needs under the rug. We can lay here all day and sleep if that’s what you need.”

“You have better things to do, Mr. Academy Award Winner then watch me sleep. I can take care of myself.” 

“What if I like watching you sleep??” 

“Then that would be kinda endearing and… kinda creepy?” she mused. “But mostly endearing.” Not that she would ever admit it but she enjoyed watching him sleep too. 

“Well I might be creepy then,” he admitted. He did genuinely love watching her sleep, when she was in his arms, there was just a rare peace about her that he loved to see. “The outside world has gotten too much of me lately. Now, the only thing I wanna do is take care of you. Not cause you can’t do that shit yourself but because you shouldn’t have to. Everyone needs to be taken care of and I’m not letting the next 30 years go by without you knowing what that feels like. Now you’re gonna feel it. Every single day. Rest, Raven.”

His words tumbled through her brain as she stared at him for a moment, her eyes brimming with tears. She was exhausted and not just physically. But of carrying the weight of every problem on her shoulders, of being alone in crafting solutions. She was so often consumed by pure survival and it had made her resourceful and smart. There was not a problem that life threw at her that Raven had not figured out a way through. She was stuck in survivor mode 24/7. But the problem with survival is that it was an all-consuming task. There’s no opportunity… no room to rest. And no one to take on the burdens for her so she could. 

“I just haven’t h-had anyone… who cared enough to worry… in a long time, no one willing to share the load,” she offered simply, sniffling lightly. “Until you hired David… I didn’t think you cared what happened to me after we… I ended things.” 

“I did. I do.” His hand gently cupped her cheek, his thumb whisking away the tears that slowly fell. “Fuck, I thought about you every minute of the damn day, Rae. You had me over here losing my damn mind. I care… I love you so much, it fucking killed me. And scared me. And I deserved it, to worry and stress and flip shit because I fucked up… I hurt you.”

“You did. But it wasn’t just you. Life’s been shit before and I could always, you know, keep going? It was just the final blow to the little bit of hope I had? And I just didn’t see the point in getting back up again. That was my best… the bare minimum needed to keep breathing. The heartache… I knew I could get over that eventually. One day in the far fucking future, I could… would force myself to get over you. Or just accept that I could never have you. It was the ache of losing hope that killed me. It was like my soul ached? And there were moments, like the night of your premiere, that I just thought that would never heal?” 

“So you got wasted? To forget?” 

She chuckled. “Alcohol is a great temporary solution. When you’re that low… shit gets desperate,” she admitted. “Anything to numb the pain for a short while. But it always comes back.” 

“How often?” 

“Rarely and that was the worst night, I promise. Honestly, wasn’t sure I’d ever want to touch alcohol again after that.”  

“And now? How do you feel?” 

“The wounds in my heart still need mending but every second back with you has healed parts of my soul. I’m… not ok,” she admitted, Michael immediately empathizing with how difficult it was for her to say those words. “You’re right… it doesn’t just go away. But I will be ok.” 

He nodded. “I know you will be. I’m gonna make sure of it. Raven… look, I know this shit is scary, giving up control when you’ve been the one driving for so long, the one responsible for everything for so long. But I’m here, I’m not going anywhere and I’m not gonna let go again. It’s safe to let someone else behind the wheel for a while. Rest for me, baby girl. Please. 

As if she was light as a feather, he shifted her so her body laid on top of his chest, his strong arms anchoring her in that spot. She buried her face in the nape of his neck, breathing in the perfect scent that her heart recognized as him. 

Even as her body resumed its pliant posture in his arms, Raven realized she did not want rest. No, she wanted to feel him in the very depths of her. She knew they had to talk, knew there were conversations to be had. But fuck, she could not wait. She wanted to revel in this moment, of finally being with someone who genuinely loved her and cared. And she needed to feel it on a cellular level. 

Raven forced herself to sit up, quickly straddling his hips and giving him a quick but tantalizing grind against him. That turned his frown into a mischievous grin, though she could still see the concern in his eyes. 

“This is the opposite of rest, baby girl.” 

“I’ll rest as long as you want after. I need you.” 

“We still got a lot to talk about, Rae. I just don’t want you to get caught up in the moment ‘n not really want this yet. ‘N I…” Raven should have been put off the pure animalistic look simmering in his eyes. But instead it just made the desire grow stronger, long tentacles stretching out to every pleasure zone in her body. Demanding he touch, bite, slap, caress… literally do anything to satiate her. “I’m not sure what you need, what we both need.”  

Her palms cupped his face, guiding his eyes to hers. “Then don’t be sure. I love that you take care of me, Michael. But taking care of me isn’t having the perfect thing to say or do for me. Sometimes, it’s just being you and figuring it out as we go. I know I need you. And that’s what I want, to feel every part of you… whatever you have to give me. And everything we need to talk about will still be here when you’re done with me.”

And with her permission, the reins holding him back evaporated and he pounced. Raven was on her back before she could blink, Michael capturing her lips, reminding her of the dominance she missed. And desperately craved it.  

“Tell me what you need, baby,” he whispered in her ear.

“Everything. All of you.” 

Michael would happily oblige. He licked his lips as he stared down at her. Where would he even start? 

Some part of him wanted to render her utterly immobile as he usually did. But a more significant part of him just wanted to savor her. Wanted to feel everything she had to offer and bask in having her back with him. And while he loved the fast-paced dominant sex they were used to, it did not always allow for that. And he knew in his heart that they both needed more than fast and furious today.

His hands gently ran up the smooth skin of her thighs, gathering the oversized t-shirt on her frame in his hands and sliding it off. Her nipples pebbled slightly at the cold air against her warm skin. 

“Fuck, you’re beautiful. You know that shit right?” he asked as he pressed soft kisses against her neck. 

“Y-yes,” she whispered, her eyes rolling into the back of her head as he sucked on a particularly sensitive spot before moving down to her collarbone. 

“You know how much I love you? What I’d do for you?” he continued a slow but intentional path down her body, lingering on her chest as he engulfed each of her nipples between his lips. He took his time there, remembering how much she enjoyed nipple play. His mind called back to the numerous times he put clamps on them. His tongue licked her nipples, Raven whimpering and squirming beneath his hot mouth.

Soon, they would reacquaint themselves with those roles, he thought. If she was up for it.

Her body was ablaze as his lips and tongue found their home on every inch of her skin he could get to. Down he trekked, only slowing when he got to the paradise between her thighs. He knew her inner thighs were a weak spot, something he learned long long ago. He knew it was the teasing that got to her, being so close to where she needed pleasure the most but not exactly there yet. 

“Fuck I missed this,” he whispered. “Those little moans you make, how I make you squirm and beg and plead. The taste of you on my tongue.” 

“Michael… please,” she whimpered. “I need…” the words were lost on her, her brain was no longer in the decision-making business. Her body, the pleasure sensors that lived beneath the surface of her skin guided every feeling, every filthy thought, every base desire and need. “C-Can’t wait.” 

He lifted his head from between her thighs, his breath teasing her core with heat that turned her into putty in his hands. She could not wait, she needed to be connected to him. To feel their bodies become one again in the most intimate and carnal way. 

“You trust me, baby?” 

“With my life,” she answered truthfully. 

While his actions had shaken that trust, when it boiled down to it, she would never trust her body with anyone as she did with Michael. She was his and he had never harmed her or made her regret handing over the reins to her pleasure to him. He had proven himself worthy of it tenfold. 

“Then trust that Imma take care of you, princess. Always.” 

Princess… fuck was it possible for her heart to literally explode? Or for her to be anymore wet than she already was? 

His poor sheets, she mused. 

He resituated her legs on his shoulders and grinned up at her as he continued nipping at her inner thighs, Raven’s soft moans only spurring him on. She was already a mess… a delicious, delectable mess to be sure, her juices glistening and begging him to lick, suck… devour her. 

“Fuck… all this for me, baby?” he smiled as his kisses and bites grew closer and closer to where she desired, where she needed his touch the most. 

“Y-yes…” Her body had missed him more than she realized. 

“I missed you.” And with that short statement, devour her, he did. 

Bliss. 

Ecstasy. 

Fucking nirvana. 

He made her feel all of it with one masterful flick of his tongue against her bud, her back arching off his mattress and a guttural moan rising from her belly. He proved within minutes that he had not forgotten, forgotten what buttons to push, what spots to focus his attention, how she liked to be pleasured. 

He did not let up or come up for air as  his mouth savored every inch of her that he could, spelling out his adoration and love for her - not with his words - but with his tongue and his two fingers buried in her heat. There was a sensual pace to it that she was not used to with him. Typically, sex was deliciously punishing and unyielding. It was rooted in his care and gentleness for her but the pace left no time to breathe. Not that she minded. 

But today? He took particular care, the march up to her peak was tantalizingly slow but perfect all the same. There was no rush between them, despite Raven’s original desire to fit almost 2 months of lost time into this one moment. But Michael understood that they had time. There was no invisible clock, nothing rushing them. He could savor the little gasps of pleasure when he sucked her clit gently, the way her legs clamped around his head when she was close, how her pussy clenched around his fingers as he increased his speed to exactly where she liked, how her hips rocked to meet every thrust. 

Every plea, every moan, every scream for more. He wanted to hear all of it. And he wanted her to savor the feeling of being taken care of, because she would need to learn to get used to it. He could do this every day, more than once a day to be honest. 

“So… close,” her moans grew louder and louder as he took her to the edge of the cliff of pleasure. 

She allowed herself to fall as she felt the pleasure in her belly snap. Her mouth simply remained agape with a breathless scream on her lips as she fell into the depths of ecstasy. The crash didn’t feel like one at all, but a soft landing as he continued his ministrations against her clit, drawing out her orgasm for as long as he could. And it was pure bliss, warm waves of pleasure continuing to crash over her until he finally extracted himself from between her legs. 

“That was…” Being at a loss for words was commonplace when they fucked. But Michael understood as he pressed his lips to hers, allowing her to taste herself briefly. 

“Fuck!” she cried out as he immediately started to sheathe himself inside her, a welcomed surprise. She tried to hide it as her face screwed for a split second, her body becoming reacquainted with his girth and size. The stretch he provided today in particular, given their stint apart, was a short-lived sting of pain that managed to take her breath away. 

He immediately stilled. 

“Talk to me, Rae. You good?” 

Her eyes were still shut tight as she waited for a moment for her to get used to him again. So she merely nodded. 

“Words, baby.” 

“Y-Yea I’m good. J-just been a minute a-and you surprised me.” She let out a content sigh as pain gave way to mind numbing pleasure, giving him the directive to move. “A-and t-that’s not… fair,” she moaned. “W-wanted… to taste… you too.” She wanted to force her lips into a playful pout but the only facial expressions her muscles could conjure up were those of passion and pleasure. 

“Next time, princess.” He sucked on the soft skin of her neck as he drove into her. 

Raven could only see the darkness of the back of her head as her eyes rolled back with every rock forward of his hips, sending his dick right into her g-spot. His thrusts were relentless, Raven’s nails digging into his back as she held onto him for dear life. 

“Fuck… I-I love you,” she panted, unable to form any other real sentences worth anything. That was all that needed to be said in her mind. 

“Say it again,” he demanded, gently biting her neck as her declaration of love only spurred him on. He grabbed her legs and pulled her ankles to his shoulders. 

“I love… FUCK! Fuckkkkk, j-just like that!” She cried out, abandoning the words originally on her lips for completely incoherent ramblings of a woman who was being split into two but loved every single second of it. 

Did he just kill me?? Am I dead?? Because this no longer felt of this world? No human being should be allowed to experience this sort of pleasure. Or be able to give it… was the man above her even human? 

“You feel so good, baby. You like how I’m fuckin’ this pussy??”

“Yes! Yes! Fuck I love it so much. Don’t stop, please don’t stop!” 

Stopping?? An utterly foreign concept to him at that moment. And he did not. Raven barely could breath as Michael moved her into position after position, fucking her into oblivion. 

Tears sprang to her eyes as he fucked her from behind, his teeth biting gently into the skin of her neck.

“Where you want it, princess??” he demanded as he felt himself getting close. 

“Cum inside me,” she gasped, not wanting their union to end any sooner than it needed to. This was as close as they could get and for some part of her, it still was not close enough. 

More, more, more, her soul seemed to demand. More of him. 

“Don’t say that shit to me if you don’t mean it?” he warned, those few words causing a fever to settle over him, his hips snapping forward into her ass with a force that jolted her further into his mattress. 

“Please, baby,” she whined desperately, unable to find any other words to assure him that was what she wanted. 

Euphoric was the only word that came to mind as he pulled her flush to his chest and emptied his cum inside her. 

“Thank you, thank you,” she panted, her pussy clenching around him as he pumped in and out of her slowly.

Michael gently let her body fall into the mattress, Raven’s eyes already starting to flutter closed as he went to grab a warm towel. Another whimper escaped her lips as he cleaned her up. 

“That was… whew. I missed you.”

Michael did not bother putting his own clothes back on but instead slid into bed with her, cuddling her body against his. 

Of course now, sleep was not something Rave could avoid, her body spent as it always was after their time together. 

“ Give me an hour and then my legs will work again. And then I’m taking over,” she muttered as she yawned. 

He merely laughed and nodded, pressing his lips to her forehead. 

“Wouldn’t bet on it. I only made you cum four times.” 

Raven lifted her head to look at him incrediously. “Only four??? I can’t feel my legs, babe.” Her jaw dropped at the slight frown creasing his lips. “Oh my God… you’re actually upset,” she laughed. “You’re insane.” 

“I have a reputation to uphold, babe. Six minimum every time.” 

“If you wanna kill me, just say so,” she joked.

“Just tryin’ to put you to sleep without a fight,” he offered with a smile. “I give it five minutes before you’re out like a light.” 

“Very mischievous but effective.” 

Raven did not understand how she could even require more sleep, even after a palty (as Michael would complain) four orgasms. But he had accomplished his goal, her entire body was boneless and pliant in his hands. Everything in her told her she was finally home and safe to let go of everything else for the first time in her life. So she welcomed the coming rest, allowing her eyes to drift closed. However, before she fully gave in, she whispered. 

“You should rest too… you’ve been going and going since the top of the year. You’ve earned it too.” 

“Deal.” 

The life of an actor was defined by sleep deprivation so Michael had learned the important trait of falling asleep literally anywhere and anytime. Because his body was on his press tour schedule, he had felt wide awake after a few hours of rest this morning. But he knew if he closed his eyes for 5 minutes, he would pass out again. 

“I love you,” he offered quietly as he shifted them both so he was laying down again. 

“Not as much… as I love you,” she mumbled back as her eyes fluttered closed.

Tag list: @readinghere2023 @blackerthings @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @physicxal @purplehairgawdess @miyuhpapayuh @rueruesclues @geemamii @certifiedlesbianbaddie @pipsqueak-98 @nyifly22 @destinio1 @twocentaur @gopaperless @musicisme333 @majesticbrown @roguekiki @taurusqueen83 @mysteryuz @miamormilan @itsknor-thedeep @naj-ay444 @mads-grace4 @nayaesworld @kholdkill @msniaimani @nccu-rnc @apenasumlug4r @dezzy154 @munchsa

***

A/N: Whew ok y'all do not know how much I agonized over this chapter LOL but our babies are backkkkkk and we have maybe two chapters left and an epilogue. Thanks so much for sticking by my slow writing ass. Drop a comment and let me know what you thought!

[immortalsarcasm]

Marius/Daniel Week 2024

Day 1: Sunday, November 17th Prompt: changing colors / storm Music Inspo: “Watching The Storm” – U137 Listen on: Spotify | YouTube

“Marius, look!”

Daniel had taken pause, mouth agape in a very human expression of exuberant and youthful wonderment as he stood on the large deck outside. Marius finished adding a log to the roaring fire going in the hearth of the great room before he exited the open double doors leading outside and joined his charge. He followed Daniel’s gaze to the brilliant dance of lights overhead and they stood there for a long moment in silence, taking in the natural wonder of the Northern Lights, the first magnetic storm of the season since they had returned to their home in the north a couple weeks prior.

“It looks brighter this year than last,” Daniel finally said, then added quieter. “At least if I’m remembering it right.”

“You are remember it correctly,” Marius affirmed, and the relief in Daniel at his words was palpable, those slender shoulders and jaw both relaxing. “You’ve been remembering many more things correctly, Daniel,” Marius added, and it was true. Daniel went days now, sometimes weeks without losing time and lapsing back into himself and into silent fugues, or into tempestuous outbursts.

“What I don’t remember entirely is what you told me about it last time,” Daniel finally said, glancing toward Marius, then again at the sky, “Would you tell me again about the origins of the name and about the science of it?”

Marius nodded, but it took him a moment to vocalize his assent; he watched the play of the light reflected on Daniel’s pale, preternatural skin, changing colors dancing there. And what a canvas for those hues to grace, those blues and greens a contrast to the violet of Daniel’s striking eyes. Marius looked away then. He might paint this, and he secreted the image away in his mind, like he had done with so many others. Painting some of these happy moments of lucidity in Daniel had become one small way that Marius had learned to weather the spans when Daniel was unwell. It quelled his own frustrations in more ways than one.

“If you truly wish," Marius said agreeably, but added, "Though I must remind you, you became rather bored with what you called my “tiresome rambling” last time.”

“Did I?” Daniel pursed his lips and his brow furrowed lightly in thought, then shook his head before he shifted closer to Marius’ side, and Marius could see the amusement evident in the grin tugging at the corners of Daniel’s mouth, that supple mouth made all the lovelier by the lights all around them, and that parted again to utter, “No, don’t remember that either, so I guess you’ll have to bore me all over again until I learn to know better than to ask.”

“Yes, I suppose I shall,” Marius murmured, filing away in his mind the rosy details of Daniel’s lips in that unique and effervescing illumination before he looked to the sky again, and began to ramble exactly as Daniel had asked him to.

His paintbrush would have to give life to and kiss what Marius dared not.

[bookqueenrules]

With the debate on how bad, or not, DD season 2’s ratings are and the anniversary of the most watched episode ever of TWD, No Sanctuary, I want to share some thoughts on what is working and what is not with the spin-offs.

The 6 Episode Format:

One of the most obvious things that is NOT working is the 6-episode format.  Without a doubt, TOWL has been the most successful spin-off. However, many were left dissatisfied by the ending.  If they would have spent a couple more episodes with Rick and Michonne in the CRM learning their secrets and how to take it down, it would have felt more satisfying to the viewers.  With both DC and DD, the six episodes format did not allow viewers to make any deep connections with the new characters.  For example, I don’t hate Laurent or Isabelle, but I don’t care for their survival like I would just about any character on the flagship.  This makes the deaths and relationships(i.e. Darabelle) far less compelling. 

Fix: Move to an 8-episode season.

The Stagnation and Reversal of Character Arcs:

TOWL is the exception here. Rick completed his arc by accomplishing his original goal of reuniting with his family. Michonne completed her arc by creating a family with a man willing to do anything for his children. While this is wonderful and satisfying, it creates a problem moving forward.  Andrew Lincoln gave a recent interview where he said he would like to see TWDU get back to the smaller survival stories of the past.  I think he is right.  Some variation of that will be what it is needed now that Rick and Michonne’s original arcs are complete.

DC and DD have done the opposite.  It appears that all four main characters have regressed, or at least not progressed, in their arcs.

The themes are clear. DD is about Daryl’s happy ending.  Daryl’s arc, really from day 1, has been about overcoming his upbringing and the trauma of his childhood. The only way to complete his arc is for him to create a healthy family of his own.  Daryl must have a wife and kids to complete that arc.  Rushing Daryl into becoming “ Laurent’s Daddy” is in no way satisfying this arc.  We need to see what Daryl’s happy ending is going to look like even if it takes several seasons( and it should) to be completely realized.  The spin-off needs to stop playing coy and show its hand.  The audience has been waiting 14 years already.  Time for that happy ending to at least be on the horizon. Yes, this means a real romantic love interest and eventually Dixson children.  Daryl needs to realize that Dixsons are not inherently bad or defective in some way.

Don’t get me started on the rehashing Carol’s dead children arc. That arc was completed with Ezekiel and Henry and the loving family she created with them. I am not sure why they can’t move Carol forward into a new story arc.  I truly hope this season puts it to rest, and she can move forward. 

The same is true for Maggie. Since Glen’s death, she has not been able to move forward.  This arc with Negan is at least a little less stale than Daryl’s but has still been going for years.  Maggie must come to some kind of acceptance of Glen's death and move forward.

Fix: Complete these years long character arcs and move the universe forward. The found family arc will only be completed when the OG remaining cast members are reunited. Dragging out the Daryl, Carol, and Maggie arcs has become tiresome, repetitive, and uninteresting.  Wrap those up. Then, reunite the found family.

Moving the TWDU Story Forward as a Whole:

The DD spin-off in particular was teased as having at least some answers to the origins of the virus.  I have seen the entire season, and we learned nothing.  Walkers on steroids are not that interesting.  We wanted to learn more about the scientists who originally created the virus and why.  Give the viewer some pay-off.  The audience you have now has been with you all these years.  Stringing them along with little pay-off is not working.

DC at least is showing that there is a new power source and is somewhat moving the universe forward.  They will need to continue with that story arc. Negan and Lucille 2.0 will not be enough of a story to attract, or even keep viewers. What happens in DC needs to affect the entire universe.

Fix: Pay-off for at least part of the origin story started in TWD season 1 is needed quickly.  The universe itself needs to be regenerated and eventually moved to the next generation of characters with the support of our OGs. 

[droughtofapathy]

Hi there! I read your review of Cabaret and saw that one of your main complaints was that a lot of Jewish culture was staged/written out. I’m not Jewish and don’t have that baseline understanding of the religion/culture and was wondering if you could elaborate further?

Hi Anon, I'd be glad to elaborate a little more, with the caveat that I'm not Jewish either, but I do know a thing or two about the history of this show. I'm also long-winded, so... buckle in.

I don't believe the production team intentionally went into it and took an eraser to Judaism as they went, but I do believe that being an English team with far less Jewish influence in their culture and society has made them blind to the inherent Judaism of the story beyond the glaringly obvious. As I've said before, this is a revival made by gentiles for gentiles right from the very conceit. In centering the show on this nightmare puppet spectacle of a cabaret, it does a disservice to the real heart and moral of the story's true epicenter: the boardinghouse and Schneider and Schultz and the grounded people around them. The very fact that it's officially been retitled "Cabaret at the Kit Kat Club" (frankly redundant) shows that this production is no longer about the actual book, but about the frivolous hedonism. Schultz's Jewish storyline is an afterthought hastily plopped down into the cabaret setting. Because of this staging, the focus is never away from the now-very goyish cabaret. Cliff, Schneider, Schultz, and even Ernst were very much given the "I don't care much" treatment by this director who wants everyone to ooh and ahh over the exorbitant pre-show gimmicks and whatever the fuck the Emcee and Sally are doing, and to hell with the actual plot.

Everything from the direction to the marketing to the creative tone seems to scream out that no one on this creative team actually understands the message. The nightclub might be the titular setting, but it's a looming figure in the shadows. A seedy little joint in a back alley where everyone's just trying to survive. Vaudeville could be bawdy, certainly, but the staging and choreography here is vulgar and tiresome, and says to me that the creatives also have little to no knowledge of that artform either.

Cabaret is an inherently Jewish musical. The three original creatives (Joe Masteroff, John Kander, and Fred Ebb) were Jewish men who were all alive during WWII and old enough to understand the horrors happening around them and overseas. Director and producer Hal Prince was Jewish. Revival director Sam Mendes is Jewish. Both Joel Grey and Alan Cumming are Jewish and/or gay. Eddie Redmayne is the first major Emcee on Broadway (baring a few late-run replacements, in the other runs, I'm sure) who is neither. Rebecca Fracknell is not Jewish and beyond the fact that I just don't think she's a good director of musical theatre (which is an incredibly hard artform that differs from directing straight plays), she has no inherent understanding or trust of the rich material already in place. She chose instead to create spectacle without actual spectacle, and focus all the time and energy into the Emcee--a character who was never meant to be the protagonist. The charisma and iconic performances of past Emcees have elevated this role in all subsequent productions, yes, but always as a centrally Jewish (and subtextually queer) figure. By having that representation and interpretation, Cabaret remains a centrally Jewish musicals. By stripping this particular Emcee of that, we get a goyish nightmare puppet, not a man. Not a Jewish man hiding or highlighting his Jewishness. We get a re-centered gentile production dead behind the eyes.

Antisemitism in Weimar Germany takes on a featured role in what should be a starring turn. Fracknell clearly sees herself as Sally, and she's made it all about the Sally in a painfully white goyish feminist way (don't get me started on a rant about the "girlbossification" they're trying to make happen), but the VERY CLEAR intent of the material is that we should not want to be Sally. We should not be proud of being this willfully ignorant girl who doesn't care about the rise of fascism all around her, and actively states that it has nothing to do with her. We should be horrified at her complacency and shamed that we might have gone in feeling the same way. And Schneider says it, she says it right there in what's meant to be the scene, that Cliff and Sally can just run away when the going gets tough without a care in the world, but she can't. When a show takes a Jewish story, written by Jewish men, and turns it into a gentile funhouse carnival and refuses to acknowledge its Jewish-centered book characters and actors (notice how Bebe Neuwirth and Steven Skybell were almost entirely excluded from promo materials until late into the Award Season publicity) to instead prop up a white gentile man and a white gentile woman...well, that's just blatant Jewish erasure.

[sadcupcake]

Winchester in Mystic Falls Part 5

So far tailing Elena and her friends has been entertaining to say the least. I've learned that she's still friends with Bonnie and Caroline. Bonnie was never cruel to me, she just ignored me like everyone else in town did. Caroline on the other hand was right there with Elena. They both tortured me my entire childhood. Most of it was emotional, the name calling, making everyone in my life ignore me and pretend that I didn't exist. Sometimes though they would go on some sort of power trip and hurt me. Looking back on that now I remember being so scared of them both, but now they look like weak little dolls in my eyes. What they put me through made me who I am today, it set me down a path to meet my brothers and for that I am grateful to them.

It doesn't surprise me that the three girls are still friends, just like it didn't surprise me when I learned Bonnie was a witch or that Caroline got turned into a vampire. What did surprise me was the fact that Elena is a doppelganger. Apparently it was one of Elena's doppelgangers that turned Caroline. Another interesting thing I learned was that the originals where in town. Sam and Dean learned about how vampires came to be when they captured one and had a little chat. That vamp was about 900 years old so they still knew the stories of the originals, it even claimed to be turned by one. I had yet to see one running around town but from what I've gathered they came here to sacrifice my sister to break a curse. If I had to take an educated guess it would be the curse placed on the hybrid.

If it really is the originals in town then I really need to hit the books to find something to kill them with. All of the lore I've read up to now had never mentioned a way to kill an original. As far as I know they are truly Immortal. Maybe I could just kill all the non original vampires in town and then hightail it out of here before they get wind of a hunter. Lets be honest I'm going to end up dead by the end of all of this.

I haven't talked to Elena since I got interrupted before I was able to have a little chat with her. I assume she's told her little boyfriends about what happened by now, so me getting within 10 feet of her again is out of the question. So making a scene in public is now my only option to find out what she knows. This whole thing is getting tiresome already. If it weren't for the innocent people dying I'd cut my loses by now. But I am a Winchester and Winchesters never back down from anything. Hell not even from the actual devil, and the Mikaelsons are no Lucifer.

getting back to my hotel room I get comfy on the bed with my laptop, if I'm going to find anyway to kill the originals I have to channel my inner Sam. Full on research mode. After hours of sitting and looking at the computer screen I've come up with one possible lead, one impossible lead. White oak. It's almost too good to be true but It's all I got. Some hunter in New Orleans had a story passed down generations in his family. Apparently the only thing that could stop an original was an original themselves, or a weapon one of them possessed. A dagger dipped in White oak ash. If the ash from this tree could put them to sleep imagine what the real thing could do. Unfortunately all records of the white oak tree say that it went extinct centuries ago. Another dead end.

Deciding that I've had enough of the headache that is research I get dressed and head back to the Grill. I'm starving, one of the things Dean and I have in common is our appetite. I think he was secretly happy to have someone around to out vote Sam on where we'd eat. Maybe if I'm lucky I can run into Elena again there, kill two birds with one stone.

When I walk into the Grill I spot them right away. Elena and her little gang looking directly at me. By the look on dumb and dumbers faces she defiently told them what I was going to do to her. I  sit down at a table ignoreing them the best I can until I can at least have somthing to eat. While I'm waiting on my food I notice two guys sitting at the bar again. Talk about deja vu. The vibe coming from these two is defiently dangerous but there's something else I can't quite place, It's like a comfort almost. Just as I'm about to stand up to go to them I get snapped out of my daze by my food arriving.

While I'm enjoying my food I start to notice everyone slowly leave the Grill. EVeryone apart from Elena and her friends, and the two guys at the bar who have now turned around to face us obiously interested in what is happeneing. I look up from my food to see my sister and her friends walking over to my table. Bonnie and Caroline are behing my sister and her two boyfriends are infront of her. Anyone would think shes the president with the way they protect her.

"How can I help you Elena, would you like some of my fries?" I question her, I always have to have the first and last words. Something Sam and Dean both love and hate about me.

"No I don't want you're fries Y/N, I want to know why you're in town and how you know about vampires" Elena says, she looks so serious I burst out laughing.

"Sorry, you acctually think I'll just tell you because you asked. Wow you really have no idea who I am now do you Elena?" I stand up as I ask my question getting ready for a fight. By the way everyone clings to Elena's side I guess they are too.

[bethanydelleman]

Northanger Abbey Readthrough Ch 14

PEOPLE THIS IS THE BEST CHAPTER EVER!!!! We have reached the pinnacle of Tilney awesomeness...

my heroine was most unnaturally able to fulfil her engagement, though it was made with the hero himself. This always makes me think of Evelina by Fanny Burney, where the poor heroine always is taken places she doesn't want to go. Luckily for us, the country walk is actually happening! No Thorpes! No rain! Just charming Tilneys.

One of the best earnest quotes in Austen has happened!:

The narrator has taken more of a back seat at this point, but here we have the hero of the novel, openly admitting that not only does he read novels, but he loves them. Henry also seems to understand that Catherine has been mocked about this before, he's very overt in his appreciation of novels. And he calls on her to be proud of him for stealing a novel from his sister, which is just... 🥰🥰🥰 "I am proud when I reflect on it, and I think it must establish me in your good opinion.”

Now is Tilney a little pedantic? Yes. But I find it cute. Sue me.

"...But I really thought before, young men despised novels amazingly.” “It is amazingly; it may well suggest amazement if they do—for they read nearly as many as women.

Catherine has picked up a lot of language from Isabella and Mr. Tilney is subtlety (and not so subtlety) correcting it.

“Henry,” said Miss Tilney, “you are very impertinent. Miss Morland, he is treating you exactly as he does his sister. He is forever finding fault with me, for some incorrectness of language, and now he is taking the same liberty with you. The word ‘nicest,’ as you used it, did not suit him; and you had better change it as soon as you can, or we shall be overpowered with Johnson and Blair all the rest of the way.”...

“Very true,” said Henry, “and this is a very nice day, and we are taking a very nice walk, and you are two very nice young ladies. Oh! It is a very nice word indeed! It does for everything. Originally perhaps it was applied only to express neatness, propriety, delicacy, or refinement—people were nice in their dress, in their sentiments, or their choice. But now every commendation on every subject is comprised in that one word.”

Henry is pointing out both overuse of the word nice and meaning drift. You see a lot of meaning drift comparing Austen's language to ours, words like wonderful, awful, interest, etc. Nice apparently used to mean something close to "neat" and now it means "pleasant" and Henry Tilney is in a battle to preserve it. Well sorry, Mr. Tilney, but you lost. He has a point though, the overuse of a word entirely dilutes it's meaning and can make it basically mean nothing at all.

I love Catherine's speech about history:

The quarrels of popes and kings, with wars or pestilences, in every page; the men all so good for nothing, and hardly any women at all—it is very tiresome: and yet I often think it odd that it should be so dull, for a great deal of it must be invention. The speeches that are put into the heroes’ mouths, their thoughts and designs—the chief of all this must be invention, and invention is what delights me in other books.

She's so right here!

Now while Catherine does spend a lot of time in awe of Henry Tilney and his wit, she does stand on her own opinions. She asserts that "torment" and "instruct" are synonymous and to borrow the phrase of another Austen woman, she will not be laughed out of her opinion! (Jane Bennet, P&P)

Eleanor and Henry soon begin to talk about the picturesque, and from the clues it seems they have opinions similar to Marianne Dashwood and her love of dead leaves. This section is the one I see most quoted by those who think Catherine is too stupid for Henry Tilney or that he is distasteful for wanting to marry an ignorant girl.

I will first point out that ignorance is not equal to stupidity, Catherine is eager to learn. Also, I doubt Henry would have anything to do with the vapid Isabella Thorpe. Catherine may be ignorant about drawing and have trouble with discerning motives, but she is in no way an idiot. If anything, Austen is mocking this sentiment:

Where people wish to attach, they should always be ignorant. To come with a well-informed mind is to come with an inability of administering to the vanity of others, which a sensible person would always wish to avoid. A woman especially, if she have the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can.

But Catherine did not know her own advantages—did not know that a good-looking girl, with an affectionate heart and a very ignorant mind, cannot fail of attracting a clever young man, unless circumstances are particularly untoward.

Does Henry enjoy being admired by Catherine in all his wit and knowledge? Undoubtedly, yes. But he also loves hanging around Eleanor who is just as intelligent as him (riot fears aside). The chief attraction here is not the ignorance. It's primarily the honesty. Here again we have Catherine fully prepared to admit that she doesn't like reading history and that she knows nothing of drawing. She doesn't pretend, she is a creature of no disguise.

Now we get to see Henry making very suggestive statements that go right over Catherine's poor head:

"...Miss Morland is not used to your odd ways.” “I shall be most happy to make her better acquainted with them.” “No doubt; but that is no explanation of the present.”

No doubt! Eleanor is shipping this couple hard. Good for her.

It was no effort to Catherine to believe that Henry Tilney could never be wrong. 

Oh Catherine, you've got it bad.

We hear from an Isabella clone (her younger sister), who was left behind from the Clifton Scheme, she is with two of the sweetest girls in the world, who had been her dear friends all the morning and says:

“They set off at eight this morning,” said Miss Anne, “and I am sure I do not envy them their drive. I think you and I are very well off to be out of the scrape. It must be the dullest thing in the world, for there is not a soul at Clifton at this time of year. Belle went with your brother, and John drove Maria.”

Girl, your speech is dripping with envy so much that even Catherine Morland, our intrepid heroine, realizes that you spouting bullshit.

I will give like, 1 half point to Thorpe for actually helping Isabella out and driving his sister to Clifton. But I award it very begrudgingly.

[edwardshundredyearoldspunk]

I've seen people who are on both sides of the issue vis a vis the gender of benedict's love interest. in regards to people wanting a gay season, I've already seen the typical "you just want to see two white men fuck" which, as a queer woman, is tiresome to hear so I won't address it. (and that's without taking into consideration the fact that I don't think anyone assumes benedict's love interest will be white, regardless of gender.) I've also seen people who say the story is more powerful if his love interest is a woman, which is don't think is true. bridgerton has already made many adaptational changes to diversify it's cast, and it has managed to merge that rather well with the themes of the source material, so I don't see why that would not be possible if sophie was a man. I've also seen people say that sophie being a woman should be prioritized because it would give bisexual representation where the bisexual character doesn't end up in a same sex relationship and how it's important to show that.

that last point is the one that I find most persuasive but nevertheless I don't think sophie will be a woman. (I do think, with the masquerade aspect, there is a chance sophie could be trans but that's just me flying too close to the sun.) with the way the show has been progressing, it is narratively necessary to establish gay marriage as a viable societal aspect of life. at this point, it's ridiculous to think this is not going to happen within the run of the show. bridgerton is regency in name only. for all intents and purposes it is a fantasy regency show. racism no longer exists because their white king fell in love with a black woman. this is not a show that is concerned with maintaining historical accuracy. however, it is a show concerned with making it's society at least somewhat believable, and since it made the choice to make homosexuality socially unacceptable in s1, it now HAS to have a season where it becomes socially acceptable. and since this is the "love eradicated racism" show, I think it's safe to assume a gay love story will be central to bringing that upon that world.

now, at this point you might be thinking, "that's going to be francesca's season" and to that I say, maybe? but I just don't think so. from what we know of francesca's character, as of yet none of her storyline has been centered on queerness. yes she is queer, but her story isn't yet centered on that. all we know is that she will eventually marry a woman and for that to happen, it is necessary for it to become a socially accepted part of life BEFORE her season. (and yes, I did say marry. this show is the marriage show. it is NOT interested in partnerships or common law marriage.)

you know who's story is centered on queerness, and has been since season 1? benedict bridgerton's. I wouldn't care either way which gender benedict ends up with, but narratively? it has to be with a man for it to work within the scope of the overall story they're trying to tell. the original novel came out in the early 2000s so a story about class disparity was, understandably, a reasonable enough conflict for readers to get behind it. but modern audiences might not buy that as a good enough reason for benedict to avoid marrying her (people are STILL hoping for theloise, so it's obvious they don't see class as a good enough barrier). especially as it's been established just how much priority violet puts on love matches over societal expectations. the only conflict that seems to parallel the original well enough to create actual conflict is, you guessed it, a queer love story.

[philosophicalparadox]

Hi! Non-native speaker, so I hope my English is not that bad. I really like your blog and especially your analyses on Mephisto. Fantastic!(read in his voice)

So my question.Have you read blue exorcist novel Bloody Fairy Tail? In the novel there is a part where little girl describes Mephisto as big void and the black wing towering over him. Do you think this could be a hint to his real form? Or perhaps his role as Angel of Death? Also there is part in the first chapters of the manga, when Mephisto meets with Amaimon and tells him that he took Rin under his wing. It might be just a translation though. Sorry for a long ask

After accidentally deleting this twice I’m going to try again! (New phone, still getting used to it)

I have not actually read the entire thing because finding any of the light novels in the US is really, really hard. Like, really hard. But I have actually read the part you’re talking about through fan pages here on Tumblr talking about that very thing! (And thanks to @facets-and-rainbows I’ve now been able to read more! Thank you.)

Here’s the thing: the only image that exists that depicts Mephistopheles in his pre-Goethe form is this one by Eugene Delacroix from the early 1800’s:

This version of Mephistopheles is from Marlowe’s 1616 version, The Tragical History of the Life and Death of Doctor Faustus. In it, (the B version) Mephistopheles is said to conjure wings in order to frighten the knights attacking him and Faustus, before turning said knights into demons (or animals in some translations) and giving them horns.

Mephistopheles is also a fallen angel, and uses that to both dissuade Faustus from forming a contract at the beginning, and later to help trick and torment the Pope in this version.

The inscription on it reads: De temps en temps j’aime a’voir le vieux Pére, Et me garde bien lui rompre en Visiére

Which roughly translates to (keeping in mind I’m still learning how to read older dialects of French) : “From time to time I like to see my old/winterly/ancient Father, and take care not to break off/sever with him in Person.” The caption probably is talking about the Pope scene, or maybe Faustsus’ separation from God, but to me it also speaks to the retribution of both.

Aaaaaanyway point is, it’s very popular to depict Mephistopheles as having black, feathery wings, partly because no matter what version he’s in he’s still a fallen angel lamenting his separation from God, (which isn’t especially relevant but it IS interesting) and also because the wings are mentioned directly in the earliest published version of the play.

What’s more, the original Mephistopheles from the late 1500’s (earliest record of the name was 1587) in the original Faustbuch was never a demon at all, but rather either an angel or a man that had been damned to serve Lucifer for all eternity by selling him his own soul, the reasons for which are never revealed. He does, however, from the very beginning, warn Faust about what he’s doing, and what that will lead to, presumably because he’s done the same thing and now regrets it. Fun stuff :)

As to whether I think it has anything to do with his true form, I would say yes, to a point. Samael is a shape-shifter after all, so not too many forms are out of bounds.

However, if he has wings (probable or at least possible) there’s some kind of reason why he doesn’t use them.

These are the closest we ever see to a demon form for him, and he’s… pretty formless, broadly speaking.

He is kind of void-like, true, and warps the space around him. But, no visible wings.

In fact the only wings we see him with are not his own - they’re that of his familiar, which is likely Kin of Azazel.

He can fly without any wings at all, (space timey levitation and all) so one would question why he’d need a familiar’s, never mind his own. Conservation of energy perhaps?

In any case I do think he CAN have wings, when he wants them, if that makes sense. Shape shifting is however tiresome, and flight requires a great deal of energy expenditure even if he’s not working against gravity in the traditional sense. So I imagine that he could use his own wings, or turn into a bird, but he doesn’t do so unless practical because it eats up his stamina, which he’s got little of comparatively.

Though honestly I’m more of the mind that he does shape shift all the time to observe things, (and what better form than a bird? He’s called The Raven too to boot) it’s just that turning into anything like that is going to terrify people, and unless that’s his aim, it’s not terribly reasonable. Similarly I am completely sure he has horns and a tail, but those things are very secretive to him, so he doesn’t show them hardly ever.

Why the girl sees wings may just be a reflection of her own fears; humans see what they want to, and fear-projecting wings into a creepy demonic aura would not be beyond a child.

As to why they might be secret, they’re probably very identifiable. In his current incarnation he thrives on secrecy and keeping his name, and infamy, on the down-low. He’s not trying to give Lucifer any more shit to throw back in his face, and he’s not trying to be a god and rule over people (not directly) he’s just trying to be a chairman and an arc knight keeping the world from literally gong up in flames, but doing so as close to anonymously as possible for himself. He doesn’t want people to fear him in the same way they used to (except when he wants them to of course) he just wants to do his own thing, and pretty much be left alone.

Not to get too speculative here, but I think perhaps he’s tired. Tired of being a god. Tired of being a demon. Tired of being Lucifer’s favorite scapegoat. (The irony of that) Tired of having to be a puppeteer and tired of having to serve the needs of others in order to just keep himself alive and sane. Tired of playing politics with Lucifer and tired of him never changing or being able to.

And who could blame him? Over and over and over and over. The monotony and pain are unimaginable. Perhaps that’s why Lucifer can’t understand him; surely if anyone could appreciate the suffering that comes from eternity and the pain of losing out over and over, it would be him, surely? Yet, Samael perseveres. He finds the smallest, most difficult things to cling to, like a desperate man panning for gold in a sea of sand, looking for specs of dust. He lives solely for those little moments, the butterfly wing that shapes a hurricane on the other side of the world. It’s monotonous, it’s tedious and it sucks, but rarely, ever rarely, it’s worth it. The world will never see perfection and he likes it that way - he doesn’t want perfection, only change.

And change is probably what drives his secrecy. He changes his face to suit the time, and in a time when demons supposedly don’t exist it makes sense to be discreet. There’s also advantages to the relative anonymity; if he does have to ever throw his weight around, he has to do far less to make a deep impression.

Thanks for the ask. I enjoyed answering even if I went a little off topic lol.

[toujokaname]

Evanescent / Episode 6

Characters: HiMERU, Kohaku, Rinne, Niki

"That is the true meaning behind this Ephemeral Festival—a performance of gratitude brought to you by HiMERU and Oukawa."

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[ Read on my site for a better viewing experience using Ois~su ♪ ]

Season: Spring

Location: Ephemeral Festival Stage

HiMERU: "♪~♪~♪"

Kohaku: "~...♪"

HiMERU:  "—Everyone, HiMERU trusts you're all enjoying today's PBB Live?"

Kohaku: "Thank y'all kindly for comin' out to support this JoyLife pair ♪ Sure is excitin' to hype things up with so many folks here!"

"Ain't that right? HiMERU-han...♪"

HiMERU: "Yes, of course ♪"

Kohaku: Woah... There're shrill cheers echoin' through the whole venue.

(Whisper) I tried layin' it on thick with the fanservice, but they seem even happier than I figured.

HiMERU: PBB originally gained popularity from a rather niche fanbase, you know.

HiMERU thought being more blatant would appeal to them, and it seems like the effect was just as intended.

Kohaku: I ain't completely on board with PBB's direction, but it sure is nice seein' the fans so happy.

Anyway, the show's headin' into its final stretch. Ain't it about time we bring up the "main topic," HiMERU-han?

HiMERU: Yes, that's right... Are you ready?

Kohaku: I've been ready from the moment I stepped foot on stage.

It's okay. As long as I can be honest 'bout how I feel, that'll be enough.

HiMERU: "—Well then. It seems our time together is drawing to a close."

"We would like to make a very important announcement to all of you present."

"Following this Ephemeral Festival, PBB will be suspending its activities."

Kohaku: "We're real sorry to be givin' y'all such sad news after gettin' your hopes up so high..."

"But don't worry now—it ain't like we're retirin' from the idol business."

HiMERU: "Indeed. HiMERU and Oukawa will continue to stand on stage as idols."

"This is not a farewell, so please don't be too sad."

"—If that is the case, you might be wondering why PBB's activities are being suspended."

Kohaku: "Of course, it doesn't mean that we've come to hate PBB."

"And it surely ain't that workin' alongside HiMERU-han got tiresome, either. On the contrary, I actually had a lot of fun."

"All y'all who've been followin' us closely probably know that better than anyone, right?"

"But I—well, we—don't wanna be tied down to PBB alone."

"PBB was a cozy, laid-back space where I could relax and happily enjoy my time with HiMERU-han."

"But as an idol, I wanna tackle all sorts of new challenges."

"I don't wanna stay just with HiMERU-han. I wanna connect with all sorts of people, explore new places... and show y'all just how much Kohaku Oukawa can grow as an idol."

HiMERU: (—The crowd's chatter is starting to die down in response to Oukawa's appeal. It's all going as planned.)

(To put it simply, this Ephemeral Festival is essentially a disbandment concert for PBB...)

(We want to fully bring this boom to a close by announcing a halt to our activities.)

(...But just making the announcement wouldn't be enough for the fans to truly accept it.)

(As such, HiMERU and Oukawa will earnestly articulate the reasons for the break, appealing honestly to the fans about the way we want to be and the direction we wish to take.)

(If we were to resolve this in the typical Crazy:B—or rather, in Amagi fashion, we could fabricate some conspiracy behind PBB's craze...)

(We could force the trend to die out by giving it a bad reputation. But this time, that kind of drastic measure didn't feel right.)

(PBB's phenomenon was brought about by the fickle whims of fate, but it wasn't malicious.)

(And as a result, there are so many fans who have come to love HiMERU and Oukawa.)

(There's no reason to pursue a forceful resolution that would cause them needless pain.)

(Human beings are creatures with an innate desire to help fulfill the dreams and wishes of those they support.)

(So if HiMERU and Oukawa truthfully explain that we've chosen to suspend PBB's activities in pursuit of new dreams, most people should be persuaded.)

(No, that's not quite it. Even if they aren't fully persuaded—it'll still give them a reason to continue supporting us.)

HiMERU: "—There will likely be a lot of speculation and rumors surrounding this sudden hiatus."

"Given its abrupt nature, such things are to be expected."

"But HiMERU and Oukawa are committed to pushing forward, thriving, so that any of those worries can be put to rest."

"The both of us planned this Ephemeral Festival with that commitment in mind."

"Though PBB's rise may have been part of an 'ephemeral' 'festival' revelry, we want to express our 'gratitude' for the love and support you've shown us..." [1]

"That is the true meaning behind this Ephemeral Festival—a performance of gratitude brought to you by HiMERU and Oukawa."

Kohaku: "Did our Ephemeral Festival get across how we truly feel?"

"Hehe. Thanks so much, y'all. Thanks to each of ya, we were able to have so much fun as PBB...♪"

"Now then, it's a shame, but it's time for the last song! For our final track—"

???: "Hold it riiight there!"

Kohaku: Wha— What the heck?!

The lights just went out! Was this part of your plan, HiMERU-han?

HiMERU: —No, HiMERU is also unaware of this. To begin with, there's no way he'd set up anything without telling you, Oukawa.

Kohaku: Yeah, I figured. I mean, that voice just now was clearly...

Whoa... Now what?! The spotlight's suddenly pointin' over there...

Rinne: "Oi, oi, oi! What, you thought you could ditch us and ride off into the sunset? Think again, PBB lovebirds—I ain't letting that shit slide!"

Kohaku: Well, of course it's Rinne-han and Niki-han. No wait, hold up—what's with that ridiculous weapon?

HiMERU: Judging by its shape, it seems to be a bazooka... and it's aimed right at us. But what on earth are you trying to pull, Amagi?

Rinne: "What on earth am I tryna pull? Guess you two still don't get the crimes you've committed, huh?"

"So let me gift ya a big ol' blast to jog your memories ♪"

[ ☆ ]

Here, HiMERU is explaining the festival (and story) name. In Japanese, the story is titled 瞬祭礼, with 瞬 being "ephemeral/momentary," 祭 being "festival" and 礼 being "gratitude." It'd be pronounced 'shunsairei.'

On a slightly related note, these chapter titles are 泡沫 (utakata, like the song title) which also means ephemeral/transient, though since they use different kanji and Rinne says it later, I went with "evanescent."

To explain the nuance between the two words, 瞬 is ephemeral as in "in the blink of an eye," while 泡沫 is ephemeral as in "bubbles/foam on the surface of water."

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[harrypotterfuryroad]

you only said "no" to "are you a terf?" because you've bought into the "it's RADFEM" bullshit smh. you're not slick. literally half your posts are filtered for me because their original tags contained "radfems do interact", "radfems please interact", "radfems please touch" etc. Well, here are some excerpts from a former radfem's take on radical feminism in a trans person's inbox:

"Radfems are just TERFs who won’t say tr*nny, but the rhetoric is the same, and the ideology that backs it is the same.) and so women’s oppression is based on [a dyadic view] of biology. [...]

"TERFs also like to say that they don’t want trans people dead, and lots of them probably don’t, actively, want trans people dead. again, this doesn’t matter; they support and hide and protect the ones that do, and their rhetoric and the things they want to achieve do that whether they say they want it to or not, and they know this, but their allegiance to female-ness and sex-based oppression is simply more important. [...]

"I left TERF-ism because I’m black, really. I couldn’t stomach watching black trans women dying, and I didn’t really see how they were hurting feminism or infiltrating womanhood. All I could see was those women’s victimhood and I couldn’t be a part of that anymore–but even after I stopped associating with those people, stopped reblogging and liking their posts and stuff, I agreed with them, deep down.

"And it wasn’t until it was explained that way that I could easily sort through what was 'fascist’ and what was 'non-fascist’. I could use that to measure up my anti-racist activism… not fascist. LGBT/queer rights? Not fascist. Disability activism? Inherently leftist, actually. But TERF-ism? There was no way for men or trans women to ever be entitled to live and thrive in a TERF world, which made me realize that TERFs are inherently fascistic."

idk how aware of it you even are, but you are neck-deep in radfem ideology, and it's really not okay. i hope you eventually have the courage to see that and change.

filtering tags like that is for weenies

anyway yeah i remember that post, it was hot nonsense throughout, but you handpicked the worst parts

massive citation needed for that first point (but that would require you to define what a radfem is beyond "person i've decided i disagree with" which i know you can't so we'll just keep going)

"women's oppression is based on a dyadic view of biology" yes, unequivocally true, observing this doesn't make you any kind of bigot

i could just as easily turn this point around on you, we point out violent misogyny and homophobia constantly but we get #notallmen'd every time

"i left because i'm black" is really where the cracks start to show. "i couldn't stomach watching black trans women dying" at whose hands? and are they dying in such huge numbers that they're overwhelming other women dying? and are they getting harmed by things that maybe feminist activism is trying to address? can you even answer those questions in detail? the constant implication that feminists are responsible for the murder of trans women is a little tiresome, maybe look into what actually happened instead of using murder victims as props

"easily sort through what is fascist and what was nonfascist" when their working definition of fascism seems to be "things i'm told i don't like." crazy enough, men thriving is not a primary goal of feminism! if you can articulate why "all lives matter" is stupid and racist then this should also be easy for you to grasp (and if you can't articulate that, that's on you). why do racial minorities, sexual minorities, and people with disabilities warrant an activist movement but women don't?

but thanks for your concern, i'll change my ways immediately

[wolfofcelestia]

I forgot to mention fixing eng Sylus’s speaking pace because he’s weirdly sped up in some parts and sounds like… a robot being sped up. So if you haven’t done the survey yet, please tell them to fix Sylus’s talking speed lmao

I feel like he talks too slowly for them to fit his lines in a lot of the times

Anyway, here are some of my survey answers. Some of them were taken from the fandom here. Most of them are just me going off

Mario Kart-type racing game.

Fishing game with various settings (day/night fishing, ice fishing, lake, ocean, etc).

Farming/gardening game where we tend to flowers that represent the boys.

Stargazing/photography game where we look for and take pictures of constellations, planets, etc.

Increase the weekly cap for chocolates earned, especially now that we have four characters.

Let us exchange large ascension crystals for smaller ascension crystals. We have too many large ones that are of no use to us.

Give us more opportunities to earn diamonds.

Allow us to exchange duplicates plushies and badges for diamonds and get rid of the play limits on the crane game/kitty cards modes. 

Add EXP to memories used in battle after a win.

Let us replay text messages so we can choose different options.

Let us replay special login greetings that autoplay during special events.

More permanent mini games.

More ways to interact with the boys.

Add harder levels and better rewards to Bounty Hunts, Abyssal Chaos, and Core Hunts.

Get rid of orbit keys. We’re already limited by the strength of our cards/cores and the orbit schedule. We don’t need such a strict artificial limit

Please look over the English localization text and stay true to the original script.

Let us save which voice (dub) we want the boys to speak in. Some of us prefer different dub voices for different characters, and switching back and forth from different languages all the time is tiresome

In the Main Character maker, let us preview her different poses to see how her face moves.

A "Rest with him" feature that allows us to fall asleep next to the boys while listening to them sleep.

An alarm feature where we wake up to their voice gently urging us to wake up.

Make Friends more meaningful with interactions, power ups, etc. Perhaps borrowing cards from friends or having their chosen character come in to "rescue" us when we almost fail in battle.

When multiple attempts have been made in Deepspace trials, have the boys encourage you to keep trying. And after clearing a trial after multiple attempts, have them congratulate you on working hard.

A friendship setting to switch the boys to, so they can acknowledge that we chose to be in a relationship with another boy. The way some of the boys talk to us like we're married when we haven't thought about them in a long time really takes me out of the immersion.

Please improve the look of the boys' lips. Some of them look incredibly dry.

Casual clothes for Zayne because he deserves some comfy clothes.

[ryuichirou]

I was the anon asking about chap 6!! Omg I loved reading ur response so much. I feel the same about pretty much everything you said, especially your thoughts on Ortho, on how he had much more love for idia than originally programmed. So now taking the opportunity to ask about ur thoughts on the pomefiore trio!! I love rook and vil's relationship so much too so I can't wait to read what you'll say about it!!!

I’m so happy you’ve read and liked the reply, Anon!  I’m glad that we agree on the Idia and Ortho topic.

Thank you for being patient, reading it and even asking about the Pomefiore trio, you made my dreams come true lol So I’ll do my best to convey my main thoughts…

Pomefiore is another group of characters that I didn’t expect to love as much as do now. Boy was I wrong; ch5 ended up being one of my favourites for the topics it handled and the relationships between the characters. We didn’t hate the ending (we’ve heard that people generally don’t like it), in fact, I personally think that if Rook voted for Vil’s team it would’ve been more of a betrayal than what actually ended up happening, but that’s a hot take and a story for another day.

Starting with Epel, I am so proud of this boy lol His relationship with Pomefiore (well, with Vil in particular) started on such a bad note, but he managed to develop such a good connection with them. I love how their conflict in ch5 was handled: it was obvious that both of them were both right and wrong. Yes, Vil was harsh with him and was basically acting like an overly strict step-mother that wants a child to succeed in a way that she envisions; but Epel isn’t really an angel either and he is quite close-minded when it comes to him protecting his fragile feeling of masculinity. And, as weird as it sounds, for a good reason: even though you might roll your eyes when you listen to Epel’s reasoning, his mindset is perfectly understandable when you think about his upbringing and the fact that he constantly had to fight people for underestimating and misjudging him because of how he looks. Isn’t it ironic that Vil is dealing with the exact same problem, but in a different way? Anyhow- I really love how twst handled this conflict and that Epel ended up becoming more comfortable in his own skin without fully copying Vil, so to speak, and that he ended up having a lot of respect for Vil. To the point that he chased Rook when he ran away alone to save him lol

In general, we don’t really like the “awww they’re family” or “he is their son” jokes as they tend to become tiresome really quickly, but with these three I just couldn’t stop joking about it for the entirety of ch6, I don’t know what is this magic lol But the way Rook and Epel just couldn’t sit without helping Vil, the way Rook and Vil were celebrating Epel discovering his unique magic (while giving him advice and supporting him and teaching him about how not to overdo it and stuff), the way Epel was so eager to learn how the heck Rook and Vil met god it was agonizingly long wait before we finally heard their story fully.

… And what a story that was sigh I love them so much. It was very nice.

I think it showcases what they love the most about each other, because this is exactly what made them drawn towards each other in the first place: Rook is brutally honest, but also surprisingly insightful, so his remarks are actually quite useful and constructive; Vil is a perfectionist who is always open to listening to other and paying attention to what’s being said in order to better himself and his craft. And, what the most important thing is in my opinion, they share this burning passion towards theatre, acting and art in general. And this is, like, Vil’s entire life, so of course someone like Rook would be quite special. I am very biased, because this does hit close to home, but still I feel like Rook and Vil found themselves a perfect partner in that regard.

I love all the other aspects of their story too: the fact that they did just sit and talk way past their curfew and during cold winter days to the point that they got ill… If you enjoy a conversation so much you completely ignore the fact that your ass is freezing, this is serious lol

The fact that Rook decided that pursuing the concept of beauty and seeing Vil every day is more important to him than hanging out with beast boys is up there too. There is too much stuff to list everything, I had a minor crisis every time they dropped a new piece of information, which is why it took me two days to watch this part. This is a little bit embarrassing to admit lol

(I also want to mention that I really appreciate Vil clowning Rook every single time he had to speak as him while telling their story, this was hilarious)

Oh and of course we can joke around for ages about my man Rook running away from his responsibilities because bringing skincare to his queen is more important, but the fact that he just couldn’t sit still and do nothing is amazing and even inspiring to a certain ai-robot boy who feels like he also wants to save his loved ones, you know what I mean, you’ve read my post from yesterday lol

And Vil… I love Vil so much it’s pathetic at this point, I love how at the very beginning of ch6 he took full responsibility for what happened in ch5; out of every character that has overblotted so far his reaction to it is the most mature, and the way he handled all the ch6 is also quite mature. I love his kind-of-antagonism/kind-of-not towards Idia: he was his counterpart for the entire book and even though he never agreed with his and Ortho’s plans, he kind of very quickly understood where they were coming from. It’s like he’s been empathetic towards them this entire time, ever since he saw Ortho being super happy after he got compared to Idia.

Pomefiore, and especially Rook and Vil together, are kind of unhinged and surprisingly wise at the same time. Like… they are wholesome but not in a way that would become boring: their craziness and love towards what they do helps to balance things out for us.

Thank you again for letting me rant about how much I love Pomefiore (and book 6 for that matter) and for reading <3

Have a great day!

[cattrigger]

The Making of 'No Robots Allowed'

A short visual novel I made, and how I made it.

No Robots Allowed - A Short Game in the Date Time❤️ Universe.

On Sunday, I released a small visual novel called 'No Robots Allowed', a post-apocalyptic comedy with a bit of romance & horror put in.

You’re at the doors of PARADISE…

…but it seems that the security protocol doesn’t trust you.

Can you prove you’re not a robot?

If you haven't played yet, check it out before reading the post!

Play the Game!

The Making of No Robots Allowed

This was for a game jam called "O2A2" (Only One of Any Asset), a minimalist focused jam that challenges developers to make a game with as little as possible:

-Only one character

-Only one background.

-Only one sound effect.

-Only one song.

-Less than a thousand words.

Game Jams are an amazing way to get started on game development, and O2A2 is both a challenge and an opportunity to work within constraints & make something without overexerting yourself with asset creation.

For last year's O2A2, I worked on "Long Time No Life", a romantic / comedy / drama about resurrection and love.

This year for "No Robots Allowed" I wanted to take the opportunity to expand a tiny bit into the universe of Date Time, while still making something unique that can stand on its own.

Design

Do you know I can do more than Pixel Art? It's true!

While the game does take place in the Date Time ❤️ universe, I also wanted to work on something that was very different from the 8-bit look.

I did want to make a more 'realistic' environment for this game, especially since it was going to be the environment the player was going to spend the entire time in. Even with Melissa❤️ & Morris❤️, I had different environments on screen to show variety.

The environment also had to be high detailed so that it wasn't tiresome to look at, and also allowed me the freedom to have the camera pan from one part to another to give a more dynamic feeling to a piece that would be largely static.

The environment is largely a mixture of flat color & texture, with blobs of lighting painted on top.

There were a few times I used photos, for instance, Petya's sides are actually ends of lightbulbs.

Our Robotic Protector

Petya, the security protocol, was originally a large robot with big hulking arms. On the screen, I drew them to have a head and face, similar to the characters of Melissa, Morris & Anna.

However, I made the decision to step back from giving them a 'human face', since technically Petya wasn't a "Date Time" software entity, they're developed for something completely different, and that would not require 'human features'.

I then made the decision to get rid of the 'body' in replacement of them being a hanging monitor.

Story-wise, it was convenient, as the entire theme of the game is about the separation of humans & robots, and having Petya being as visually non-human as possible was a cool way to drive the point home.

(Early version of the 'body-less' Petya concept)

A Mad Dash to the End

For me, development of a story for games is always an evolving element as the game gets closer and closer to finished.

I do always walk into a project with an outline, but things get altered so quickly as I begin drawing out assets and programming the game.

All of my game jam games have had some drastic changes late in their production cycle, and 'No Robots' is no different. A 'finished' version of the script was done Friday night, roughly a little over 24 hours until I was to publish the game.

Even during these late stages, I was still changing things. Adjusting designs of the face, adding / removing things in the story, and experimenting with new visual effects and shaders at my disposal.

I would love to say that I always walk into a game project with a strong and unchangeable plan, but that is just not how I work with games.

So much of my creative process is in the moment, and veering into new avenues that I may not have considered during the sketchbook / concept phases of the game.

Speaking of facial expressions, for instance, Petya's 'face' wasn't finalized until I was nearly done with the script. At the end of Thursday, I drew the first 'pack' of expressions for Petya based on what I 'felt' was most fitting for them.

Obviously, this system just wouldn't work under other team setups. If I was a dedicated artist on a project, and someone ELSE was writing. I definitely would be annoyed if the writer dropped me an insight on how a character would look 48 hours before everything was to be due.

I am a professional artist in another industry, and you never want to be 'that guy'.

Causing psychological damage ON YOURSELF though, is a little bit more acceptable. And... sometimes FUN! :D

Will We See Petya in Date Time?

I'm surprised by all the positive feedback I got for Petya, so I guess at this point I don't have any choice.

Thank you everyone for playing 'No Robots Allowed', more Date Time content is incoming.

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[cto10121]

R&J Clown Takes Special Edition—Juliet Is (No Longer) Tragically Basic

From a non-clownish overview of Juliet’s character portrayals throughout the centuries come some tiresome if minor clownery about how Juliet’s character ~should be portrayed re: adaptations. Alas, alas.

Considering it was the Friar’s explicit plan to have them consummate their relationship, it’s Occam’s Razor by this point.

Of course Shakespeare is not going to have a full-on sex scene in front of his 16th-century Theater audience!!! You fiends!!! But it would have been completely understood by his audience at the time that R&J consummated their relationship as husband and wife. However importune the match would have been viewed by the Elizabethans, the Friar is still a figure of religious authority and keen for the lovers to consummate their marriage and therefore make it truly legal. His urging for Romeo to give “comfort” to Juliet should be read in this light.

Also. While R&J’s relationship does not depend on sex, their (erotic-sexual) longing for each other is nonetheless crystal clear. This article bizarrely does not mention Juliet’s “Give me my Romeo” soliloquy and how it had been censored by the Victorians. And then there’s Romeo wanting Juliet to cast off her vestal livery.

R&J’s love is true and sincere and based on more than just animal spirits, as Shakespeare makes it clear. They also clearly want to fuck. And it’s ten to the hundred they did. One does not negate the other.

Because her original Elizabethan character is not entitled to respect, amirite? She had absolutely no fun with Romeo, not even during her balcony scene, and ~of course, she lacked a sense of self or even personality (!!) with Romeo. Shakespeare!Juliet has no personality in that wee female brain of hers, all occupied by icky romance.

As if this horrible musical could not sound any worse, we must contend with this misogyny. And again, the double standards rankle: There is none of this pearl-clutching earnestness about Romeo being an adequate role model to young boys—where is him having fun and seeking more from life than just romance and having the opportunity to discover himself out of his famous love affair???? It’s especially hypocritical when this Juliet escapes to Paris and procedes to have romantic entanglements.

Because “star-crossed” was totally not a gentle way by the Chorus to refer to lovers cruelly torn apart from fate and circumstance. Nothing soft or romantic or nonjudgmental about that description at all.

Also, romance = not being a gripping tale!!!! You guys are killing me here. Killing me.