#it’s literally in your contract that it’s your responsibility to move YOUR valuables we aren’t liable for you being stupid actually

[vacantgodling]

customers are fucking SENDING ME

[gospacegay]

LRTIHEW: Part Five

The title stands for “Longest Rusame Thing I Have Ever Written”.

First Chapter: https://gospacegay.tumblr.com/post/165808913233/lrtihew-part-one

Previous Chapter: https://gospacegay.tumblr.com/post/165836008533/lrtihew-part-four

There is swearing, fluff, eventual smut, insanity, and lord knows what else.

It was an early spring day, plants struggling to defy the snow. Several fresh chutes had began poking through the thawing white landscape. Ivan could almost feel the land returning to life, putting a spring in his step.

Perhaps it was the trade deals with America that made him buzz with energy. Alfred's peoples were absolutely addicted to oil. They would trade anything for it, go to any length. Ivan's money starved government was a reasonable seller. It was a capitalist match made in heaven. He even felt happier, for the sudden flush of American dollars overjoyed his poorest citizens.

His phone rang half way through shoveling a path to the front door. He paused to answer the device, cheerfully greeting “Hello!” in his native language. “Greetings Russia.” the stern voice of Germany replied in English. There was never a good reason for him to call Ivan. Sanctions, accusations, reminders of world meetings... nothing worth caring about.

“There vill be a meeting, your attendance is required.” Germany continued to speak when Ivan remained silent. “How does this concern me?” Ivan retorted, not impressed by the European power. “The American president has suddenly died. It concerns the entire vorld, Russia.” the German explained, humorless as always. “I suppose I am coming.” Ivan feigned disinterest, though he was extremely pleased.

Ivan had yet to ask for repayment from Alfred. Initially, he was going to use it to more favorable trade. That seemed to happen on it's own. Later, he planned blackmail his way into the next inaugural party. He received an invitation from Alfred literally an hour after his president's death. That had been almost two days ago. Ivan was honestly at a bit perplexed about what to do with his power over Alfred. Perhaps he could extort a visit out of the young American. His spring weather was so much more pleasant.

Meeting in Berlin three days later, Ivan had a hassle free flight. His pushy boss had discussed at great length plans for whoever the replacement would be. Ivan largely dismissed the manipulative plans, nodding but not really listening. His current leader had no idea Ivan was behind the assassination, with his series of ancient connections. Ignorance was indeed bliss.

The meeting appeared to be small. Canada, Syria, China, India, Israel, and the Philippines were seated around a small table. America was not present in the somewhat intimate setting. Russia took his seat next to India, across from China. Being on good terms with both nations, he attempted small talk.

“What is this meeting about, comrades?” Ivan asked in feigned obliviousness. “I do not know, Mr. Russia.” India replied politely, less afraid to look him in the than the others. The eclectic nation's tropical exports were valuable to the sugar loving Russian, and he knew it. China looked incredibly tense, hands tented in thought. Canada cleared his throat, barely attracting attention. He took a breath to speak, but was interrupted by American stepping into the room, followed by Germany.

Alfred looked genuinely upset, eyes glassy. His posture was less bold than usual, as if stricken by deep sadness. The American was a good actor when he wanted to be. “Trading partners... friends. All of you were in the process of arranging contracts or exports with my government. President James S Selkirk died five days ago. His illness was long hidden, and so painful... It might have pushed him into making bad decisions. Any deals or the like from the past two months is currently being analyzed. A few things are already been reversed. My government apologizes for the inconvenience...” Alfred sniffled once during his speech, sitting after a moment of silence. Very fine acting.

The pragmatic China was first to speak, sounding less than sympathetic. “How did he die?” he asked with narrowed eyes. “His immune system started killing him, it probably started as an infection... We aren't really sure yet. The boss was always so secretive.” Alfred explained solemnly. “Who is the next in command?” Canada asked, barely heard by most.

“Oh... well... Normally my vice president would be taking over, but he's... compromised. So the speaker of the senate is taking over. Seems like a nice enough guy... his name is...” Alfred paused speaking to dab at a crocodile tear and dig a letter out of his pocket. “... Yuri Kozloff? God, am I even saying that right?” he muttered. Ivan was pleased Alfred chose one of his long buried assets. The man was actually a child of Russian spies sent over in the late 1970's. Yuri Kozlov was completely unaware he had been groomed to gain political power, if his parents were still doing as they were trained.

Israel and Syria glanced at Ivan with suspicion, then returned their attention to Alfred. India didn't seem bothered at all. “I didn't know your house of commons was so multicultural.” Canada noted softly in the background. “It's a senate... and I'm trying.” Alfred grumbled darkly. His false mood of grief and irritation seemed to silence possible complaints.

After asking several questions, China seemed satiated and left rather suddenly. Israel and Canada wanted to stay behind and comfort America in his faked time of need. Syria left even earlier than China, cursing in his own language. Ivan remained reserved, speaking rarely, if at all. He was a master of mind games but a somewhat pitiful actor. India stood to leave, then looked to his long time coal and gas provider.

“I though you would be happy a Russian was in charge of USA.” he noted cautiously. “If my own children were happy, they would not leave me for another nation.” Ivan stated flatly, voicing an honest opinion. It was insulting when citizens gave up fixing their own lands and moved away. For living nations, it was rude and occasionally fatal. Prussia, annoying cockroach that he was, provided living proof that belief in a fallen country kept one alive. There was enough pretentious German pricks claiming to be of Prussian heritage that the ex-nation wouldn't simply die.

Put off by Russia's standard behavior, India left the room quickly. Alfred and his fooled companions soon left to help him get over his imagined sorrows. Ivan stood, confronted by Germany. “I do not know how, but you are responsible for America's boss dying.” the formal nation accused, looking Russia in the eyes. How brave, or rather, how foolish of the German.

“Germany, I am flattered. I have little wealth or time. Why would I waste such things on lesser people?” The ash blonde lied smoothly, petting Germany's jaw line in disturbingly close fashion. The strict German shuddered in fearful disgust and stepped several feet away. This physical distraction seemed to pull the suspicious nation from his chain of thought. Smirking in smug fashion, Ivan stood and left.

[topicprinter]

I’d love to say I always wanted to be in digital marketing but that wasn’t the case. You cannot connect the dots looking forward so I will try to succinctly take you back to the start to explain how I fell into this space. I'm actually an electrician by trade. I left school in year 10 and went straight into an electrical apprenticeship. From there I went to night school to study electro-technology and that gave me the ability to get off the tools and design electrical schematics for a company called Hatch who had the contract for Alcoa Alumina mine site.At about the two year mark, my boss at the time said I was good for a giggle and should apply for a popular reality TV show called Big Brother. He even gave me the time off work to go to the auditions.At the time I was reading a lot of books about manifestation/visualization so after my first audition I went shopping for the outfit I was going to wear on opening night. (I had 4 auditions still to get through).By the third audition, I took two weeks off work to go down south surfing and snorkeling. As I told my folks “you don’t get it, I need to get my head right for the big event.” They thought I had gone mental.Long story short I probably was a little mental but I got the call from the producers. I made the cut. I was one of 12 (out of 300K) to be on the show.I look back now, and laugh at my 23 year old self. Here is a brief clip from my experience:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OL5k5VD_3DE&t=51sAfter the show, my life dramatically changed. I spent the next few months travelling around Australia doing appearances (mostly in nightclubs), using my Myspace page (which went from 150 people to nearly 15,000) to promote the events. Looking back this was probably my first experience with digital marketing.I remember travelling from venue to venue with a little notepad and journalling what i liked about each respective venue and what made them different, unique and successful.After a ton of market research I settled in Melbourne and started an events and promotions company called Secret Society with friend Nic Davidson which looked after boutique hospitality venues and events. This was right around the time Facebook was just starting to get traction and we were leveraging this alongside Myspace, Youtube etc to fill our venues with human traffic.I met my wife Jodie in Melbourne and soon after convinced her to move to the Kimberley in the Northwest of Australia (small town called Broome) where I took a job as the marketing director for Matso's Broome brewery it's a beer company and a group of accommodation properties.Long story short I learned my skills through necessity being in roles I was under qualified to do and through isolation being in one of the remotest parts of the planet.I realised early on that a lot of businesses were spending money on marketing with no real measure of success and I wanted to provide them more transparency and data on what was or was not working towards driving revenue and sales.I started Dilate in 2012 after helping a friend who was working as an automotive salesman to build a website to generate leads. After generating more leads for the salesman than the dealership was generating for themselves the Dealer Principal called us in for a meeting. My friend got a promotion and I got my first client.When they asked me what my fee was, I tallied up the bare minimum I needed to survive at the time and set my first retainer. The dealership was a part of a bigger dealer network. I started getting referrals and grew organically from there.I started the business from a home theatre room and bootstrapped everything so there was literally no start-up costs. Lucky because I think at that point I only had a few grand in the bank saved from my time in Kimberley.From there, things grew quite organically hiring my first staff member in 2014 leveraging my relationship with Murdoch University I was able to reach out to the head of the multimedia department and asked them to keep their eye out for a talented web developer. That was my first experience giving part of my role to someone else and I learnt some valuable delegating lessons in those first few years, I am still learning in this area.Dilate has now grown to 50 + staff worldwide and prides itself on having some of the best talent in the digital marketing space.I have now delegated most functions of the agency and the main role I play in is business development. I’m basically in charge of all inbound inquiry. My job is to ensure the perfect fit for both Dilate and our clients.Who is your target demographic?Our target demographic falls into two categories that we have named:Brian/Barbara the business owner who owns a business between $500k - $10 million and has 1-50 staff.Danny/Debbie the decision-maker who is the Marketing Manager, General Manager or CEO of a company with more than 10 staff and revenue between $2 - $20 million.Without our clients we don't have a business. I truly believe that whether you are pumping gas, working a check-out or building world-class marketing campaigns there is no higher purpose than being in the service of others.Our team works to a core set of values and we collectively try and live those values on a daily basis.The most important ones relating to our clients/partners are:Transparency - making sure the client understands the work our team is doing. I don't sell. I educate. I teach our customers and allow them to ask me for services because they understand the value it will bring.Also if we make a mistake (which does occasionally happen in our space) we have to be Accountable and transparent about what happened, this is how trust is formed.Also Empathy plays a big part in what we do. Understanding that our services aren’t right for every business and being empathetic to better understand the various problems owners are facing. Both internal and economic.How do you attract clients?The number 1 way we attract clients is by doing a good job and getting referrals and word of mouth that comes from doing exceptional work.The next way we get clients is by walking the talk and using all the digital strategies that we provide to our partners /clients.What is the funniest/most strange request you have received from a client/prospective client?One client asked for a lift to a meeting. Haha but HEY I mean that’s the kind of people we are!What is the piece of work you’re most proud of that you’ve done for a client?I am always trying to make the most recent work the best, I have a saying that I always say to my team. Try to be 1% better everyday you show up and by the end of the year you will be 365% better. Or 260% if you remove weekends and public holidays.Where did you meet your co-founder/founding team?In early 2018 I was working with a business advisory company and my Account Manager in that company and I really clicked. His name was Tom Parker and one day out of the blue Tom organised a meeting at my office. Which was strange as usually I always went there.Long story short Tom pitched me by saying sports teams are run better than most businesses and showcased what he could bring to the table in the area of systems, process and strategic growth. Tom is an analytical left brain and I am a creative right brain, it just made sense.So in October 2018 I sold tom 35% of the business and he came to work at Dilate as our GM which has since evolved into Head of Strategic Growth. (We pick our own titles here and Tom seemed to like the ring of that better. Example my title is Head of all things wonderful.Any tips for finding first employees?The old hire slowly and fire quickly rule always applies. But most importantly hire based on attitude not skills. Skills can be taught attitude is conditional and very very hard to modify. We have always got the team involved in the hiring process and also try to bring people into the business for a week or so before we hire them in concrete just to see how they mesh culturally with the existing team. Dilate is like a big family and we try to ensure our new teams members align with our values and purpose.What is the most common service you sell?Digital marketing - Paid Advertising strategies - Google ad products, Facebook, remarketing etc (instant gratification products) and SEO (long term investment in brand) that’s 90% of our business the other 10% is one off products such as websites, hosting etcWhat motivated you to start your own business?I wanted to see if I could, and was young enough with little or no responsibilities to give it a try.If i had to start today with (the knowledge I had then) two kids and no real business experience, I don't know if I would have taken that risk. However it has paid off and I am very glad I did.What were your family and friends first thoughts on you creating your own your company?I was very lucky to have a strong support network who supported those early days where I didn't do much besides work. It’s been a 7 year journey and I am only just starting to find balance. I am also lucky to have an awesome team. I have people with me today that were there at the start, which is always great to keep you humble.What has starting a business taught you?I have learnt that those who risk big win big, but as you grow you care more because your business is responsible for more people. This can make you a bit more conservative. In the early days if you take a risk and it goes wrong, you don’t eat, so to speak. I can make that decision for myself, but I cannot make that decision for my team. Conservation slows growth, but stable growth is still growth. These days I take more of an educated risk approach.Things will always go wrong, but i have always found solace in a quote by Napolean Hill:“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.”What I take from this is that things aren’t always going to go your way, and you can have the roulette wheel land on your colour ten times in a row, but it’s what you do when it lands on the wrong colour that actually matters. Some people see problems, others opportunities. (even if it’s just the learning)In other words when life throws you lemons - start an online ecomm store selling organic, gluten free, vegan friendly, ethically sourced lemonade and contact Dilate Digital to help get people buying.What is stopping us being 3x the size we are now?Well I actually believe there are no prizes for the biggest business. We want to be Australia’s most respected marketing agency. (starting with Western Australia)What are the top apps your business could not run without?Slack - removes internal email and allows collaboration and sharing fast.Gsuite - allows us to create team drives and also amazing Google sheets that integrate with all sorts of rad stuff including our company dashboard which is the heartbeat of the business.XERO - best accounting software with amazing integration ability .Copper CRM - This is expensive but an Awesome CRM that lives in the back of Gsuite and follows the client from first touch point/ proposal right through the life of the client.SEMrush - Industry standard for all things SEO .Google keyword planner/trends - Research and validating market size.Are there any new services you’re working on?We have started offering smart branding its similar to the old school banner advertising except the audiences are created based on customer search history. I.e. if you search for ‘Subaru Forester’ you will see advertising related to that brand, make and model at a time that is more likely to draw traffic and enquiry.Also, Spotify ads, taking market share from Radio advertising.We are always working on stuff. The I in Dilate is our value for Innovation.Would you ever sell the company?I already sold part of it, but that was to help the business grow. At the moment I am enjoying what I do and the people I am doing it with. So hopefully that continues.If you enjoyed this interview - the original is here.

[lashandrahcanatoliamp43insu-blog]

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