#it’s like bordering on acephobia

[oncamelliastreet]

me when today at lunch i had to listen as my “best friend” told a bunch of sophomores that their fear of having sex is basically invalid because it actually doesn’t even hurt if you prepare correctly, trying not to throw up because even though i’ve stated multiple times that im ace she has never acknowledged me when i brought it up and she talks about sex with me specifically every single day even though i never entertain the convo and literally every time it’s brought up i just have to sit there and smile even though i feel like gagging because holy shit yes it is valid to be afraid of having sex especially that young and if you never grow up and decide you want to that’s completely valid and you should never feel pressured into wanting sex even by friends :)

[trudemaethien]

Real Boys Don’t Cry

Rated E, Rex/(Fox Cody Bly)&Wolffe NCOK/Kih’ad series. Trans Rex, cute baby, Squad Family Feels, but also extremely dubious consent bordering on outright noncon, rudimentary birth control, surprise/forced anal, acephobia, misogyny, lots of mando’a

Fox says with a smirk, “It means , Rex, you can have sex, as long as you take it up the ass, like a real boy.”

“I am a real boy, kriff you,” Rex snaps. “Defects don’t make me fake.” He hands the carabiner back to the ikaad, and it promptly goes sailing across the room again. Bly catches it up and tosses it to Cody who sneakily puts it away.

“Bwfwamphmt,” says the kih’ad, already on to the next activity, which is exploring his chubby little toes with curious, equally plump hands.

Cody pets his fluffy little head of curls absently and hums. “We standard models don’t have anywhere to grow a tubie, so it makes sense; if we only use the parts you have in common with us, it shouldn’t cause the wrong type of trouble. Asses and mouths, and dicks,” he lists.

“So, butt stuff and blowjobs,” Bly clarifies, grinning cheekily at Rex.

Cody snorts. “Last time I tried to touch his ass he kicked me in the balls,” he says. Rex bares his teeth at him. The kih’ad coos and clambers up Rex’s side.

“Blowjobs, then,” Bly amends, undeterred. “That’s still great news, though. Definitely not nothing.”

“Should even be able to blow you, Rex, as long as we don’t transfer any semen orally,” Fox says. Of course he would consider that. “The viable life of a sperm cell is on average four hours, so a day, to be safe.”

“To be safe,” Wolffe says waspishly, eyeing the other three command cadets, “maybe you ought to abstain from coming at all.”

“Maybe you ought to go fuck yourself, ” Fox says with cheerful malice, over general laughter and the kih’vod’ika’s playful noises, and then they move on, ignoring Wolffe to his irritation.

on AO3 🔒 https://archiveofourown.org/works/52990879

[coldninjaruins-blog]

I do not think most bylers as 'lesbophobic', however I have seen many takes about Rockie which were not... good. And they came off as anti-wlw stuff. It was about saying how Rockie getting focus would undermine Byler because apparently Byler is the 'main gay ship' so Rockie shouldn't be/isn't that important and shouldn't get focus in S5 that much. I think they can understand why some people are worried that there are such phobis takes in the fandom and people constantly try to argue that there are not when they are actually blatantly coming off as phobic. I don't agree with most milvns, they can be genuinely homophobic but byler fandom also needs to look in the mirror when they post biphobic/wlw phobic/aphobic/ableist stuff on daily basis. And i am not saying all takes are like this but the tag is really full of that stuff unprompted. If we gonna call out the GA and mlvns then we should also call out other ppl in the fandom.

Yeah, I agree. Some people in the fandom have takes that border on biphobia, lesbophobia, acephobia and even homophobia and we should totally call them out when it happens because otherwise we end up normalising it and as someone said recently the tag ends up not being a safe place, I read takes that honestly feel so invalidating to certain orientations per se, not to headcanons but the orientations and it's so...

[corelliaxdreaming]

Dear Yuletide Writer

First of all, thank you! I'm pretty easy to please, and I can't wait to see what you come up with for me.

Secondly, I'd love to receive treats from anyone! I forgot to put this in my sign-up, so I hope this counts too.

I'll list my general likes and dislikes, though there are a small number of exceptions in my notes for specific fandoms.

Likes:

~any genre, hard fluff to hard angst

~any rating

~hurt/comfort, especially emotional

~anxious and/or depressed and/or PTSD-suffering characters + supportive partners/friends who are always there for them even if they don't quite understand what they're going through

~porn with feelings

~aromantic spectrum characters, asexual spectrum characters, and/or queerplatonic relationships. I'm aroace and in a QPR myself, so I have a lot of these types of headcanons.

~“unconventional” relationships in general (coparenting while not being involved romantically/sexually, aroallo or alloace relationships, platonic life partners, being close friends with an ex, polyamory, etc etc)

DNWs:

~noncon/dubcon/cheating/violence between requested characters

~amatonormativity (the idea that romantic relationships are more important than other kinds, the assumption that all people desire a romantic relationship and would automatically be happier with one, sort of a form of arophobia)

~compulsory sexuality (the assumption that all people desire sex and would automatically be happier than without it, sort of a form of acephobia)

Now for specific fandom notes:

We Are A Picturesque Small Town And We Refuse To Be The Setting For Your RomCom - Rachel McKenny

(Chet Anderson, Medical Practitioner, Lumber Industry Professional, Billionaire – My gift must feature one or more of my chosen character tags (giver's choice))

I just love the aromantic vibes this one gives off with all the townspeople being so fed up with romance. What if this in fact a town full of arospecs? Perhaps someone comes there looking for romance and finds about this other way of living. Or perhaps a “couple” (or moresome) from the town follows the steps of one of those stereotypical romance storylines, but they’re really in a platonic/queerplatonic relationship? Would especially love to see Chet show up as aromantic and be totally done with the shenanigans as he prosecuting someone for their crimes.

On the other hand, I can see this turning Twilight Zone-esque. Perhaps there literally can’t be romance past the borders of the town. How and why? What happens if someone with romantic feelings enters? (If you choose this, please be careful not to make it arophobic. For example, no insisting/inferring that not having romance in their live is inherently sad/pathetic/unfulfilling/etc for every single person.)

In either case, it would be super fun to see appearances of some of the little details like the specific businesses (especially the combo ones) and literal holidays mentioned in the piece.

Pocahontas (Disney Movies)

(Mrs. Jenkins, John Rolfe, Pocahontas, John Smith – My gift must feature all of my chosen character tags; or it may use exceptions I explain in the form)

For this one, please include Pocahontas and the Johns; Mrs. Jenkins is fun but optional. (Though they're no nominated, appearances from any of the animal characters would also be enjoyed.) Despite knowing it's based on history, I've always been kind of bummed Pocahontas ended up with Rolfe instead of Smith. But last time I watched, I was struck by how much I liked the idea of them as an OT3. Each pair has a fun dynamic between them, and this way, everybody “wins.”

As a side note, I know these movies are based on some contentious real history with all the sharp corners Disney sanded off. I'm not ignoring that, but I am just looking for something set in this fictional version.

Snuggly Pup Palace (Podcast)

(Listener | Pooch Palace Visitor, Heather, Sam, Daisy – My gift must feature one or more of my chosen character tags (giver's choice))

I just want to see something more in this setting with the same sort of chill vibe. Maybe just a slice of life of how the Pooch Palace runs. Maybe a continuation or sequel of the sleepcast itself. Maybe a bit of expansion on Sam and/or Health and how they came to work here and what they think of it. Daisy might be my favorite fictional dog; what an absolute sweetheart.

FAITH (Airdorf Video Games)

(John Ward, Father Garcia, Amy Martin – My gift must feature one or more of my chosen character tags (giver's choice))

For this fandom specifically, canon levels of violence/gore are fine, even between the requested characters. Religious content is also fine, but please nothing overtly preachy. I'm not religious, and I'm not looking to be converted.

John is my favorite here. My Type when it comes to characters is very much “guy who tries so hard to do the right thing and suffers for it and is kind of a real kicked puppy type.” So just, I dunno, anything kind of about that? Or maybe what happened to him after the game? I don't recall which ending is meant to be “canon,” but I like the one where Garcia basically becomes his mentor. I like that take on their relationship, but I'm also not opposed to shipping them. (Big fan of John's more-or-less canon bisexuality.) I'm also a little fascinated by John's relationship with Amy and how easily she forgives him toward the end of the game, even after everything. How did she reach that point? And how much must that have thrown him for a loop?

Merge Mansion (Video Game)

(Maddie Boulton, Rufus, Emilio Costa, Roddy Took – My gift must feature one or more of my chosen character tags (giver's choice)

I know Maddie never realizing that the guys are coming on to her is an ongoing joke, but it really reads are her being aromantic/arospec to me. I'd love to see some exploration of that. Maybe she doesn't know it yet herself? Maybe she talks to Rufus about how she just doesn't understand?

If not, sort of anything that's just fun and light related to this game and not featuring Maddie romance would be great. Maybe something based on one of the events or areas. I know the actual merge gameplay doesn't really convert to real life, but seeing some of those objects might be fun.

Eleanor Rigby - The Beatles (Song)

(Eleanor Rigby, Father McKenzie – My gift must feature one or more of my chosen character tags (giver's choice))

I don't get out much musically, so I've just heard this song for the first time relatively recently (specifically the Cody Fry version) and was kinda fascinated by it. What is Eleanor's story? Does McKenzie really give sermons to an empty church? What is their relationship (now romantic/sexual please!) How lonely are they really? My brain likes the idea that Eleanor might be aro/arospec and alone by choice. (And if you wanna go weird, some dark corner of my brain likes the idea of her face in a jar being literal.)

[sufficient-tenacity]

One of the biggest boons and curses of Tumblr is that only people who like the same things as you see your posts.

This leads to insularization (idk if that's a real term I'm using it to mean a community becoming more insular) and of course polarization, and grasslessness.

You see it on the left sometimes with theory nerds, right? People obsessed with ideological purity to the point they get about jack all done.

There's also insular queer cultures, which can be absolutely great, but there's also ones where it's like... have you ever met a straight/allo/not however you specifically identify person?

Because you can tell they've made no attempts to understand how people besides themselves interact with the world around them.

Take for example a recent rant I saw about HSDD (hyposexual disfunction disorder) by an ace blog.

HSDD is when someone's hyposexuality causes them stress and is not caused by a physical medical condition or drug use.

Now, the blogger (here unnamed) was going on about how this was blatant acephobia... and like??? Sure, there's a reading of the diagnostic criteria that could be used against ace people, but that's not at all what this is.

Hyposexuality is a decrease in sexuality from the person's normal. For example, I'm a bit of a horndog, possibly even bordering the line of hypersexuality. I enjoy sex quite a lot, and I also enjoy the feelings that come along with being horny.

So, if tomorrow I woke up and just... couldn't be horny (what a decrease in sex drive is) it would suck. I'd want to fix it, because I'm not ace.

Now this is my assumption, but an ace person with 0 sex drive (I'm aware some ace people have a small sex drive) can't have a decrease (unless there's like a nuclear Gandhi thing going on and it loops back around to 255 because it's stored as the wrong kind of integer) and thus HSDD wouldn't apply because it has to be egodystonic (i.e. cause the affected person distress)

Now, why would they see it as being about ace people? From what I read, they never stopped for a second to consider that us allo people actually *enjoy* fucking, and just assumed we were basically... idk? Dispassionately mating to preserve the species?

Now that's indicative of headinassery, but it's well served by Tumblr, and any platform with an echo chamber function.

We all need to go meet people who are different from us and seek to understand them. To prevent stuff like this.

[rubberduckyrye]

PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME ASKS BEGGING FOR MONEY OR A PLATFORM. 

I cannot donate or provide you with a platform at this time.

If you are a Palestinian looking for aid or someone looking to donate, I recommend checking out these organizations:

HEAL Palestine + Their Donation Page

MECA For Peace + Donation Link (The URL changes, be warned! However Rami Kashou (see below) links this website directly in his Instagram so it’s likely to be safe)

Médecins Sans Frontières (Doctors Without Borders) + Donation Link (On this organization’s Donation page, they specify that they would prefer your money be used with no restrictions/limitations, meaning that it may or may not directly go to Palestinians in Need, but other people in need. They do say that it CAN be specific, but not always. Please read their FAQ to learn more.)

Rami Kashou, a Palestinian designer (originally made famous on Project Runway) is supporting a limited-time collaboration with HEAL Palestine with certain items from his shop. The listings of clothing in this collab appear to be labeled with “100% Proceeds for Humanitarian Aid“

Anyway, edit aside:

Looking for “And We’ll Be Here Tomorrow” DevLog commentary and stuff? Check this community out!

Moving on!

Before You Follow...

I have never, ever once in my life made anything like this before, but I suppose it will be fair to make a list of things that make me uncomfortable.

I’m absolutely uncomfortable with/will not tolerate:

TERFS, Transmeds, sysmeds, Radfems, Homophobia, Biphobia, Transphobia, Acephobia, Arophobia, racism, sexism, ableism, basically all of that jazz.

Harassing anyone for any reason, ESPECIALLY over fiction.

Politics. I despise Politics.

Real life tragedies, such as murders, death, acts of terrorism, suicides, war, to name a few. Self harm and self deprecation is also on this list as these things can cause extreme depressive episodes since I can be very empathetic and sympathetic. (Fiction of any of these is fine though.)

Real life gore and excessive cartoon gore really squick me out please no.

Antis/Anti Shippers/Fan Police (or whatever you call yourselves now). I’ve seen this song and dance before, it’s just head canon wars disguised as activism. Anti-Antis/Pro-Shippers are okay I suppose, but don’t drag me into the drama.

For reference, I don’t necessarily identify myself with Pro-shippers. I identify as a Fiction Supporter--or Pro-Fiction. Meaning I don’t care what you write, if it’s fiction it’s fine.

I’m too tired for fandom wank. To clarify, these beliefs in particular are especially bothersome for me:

       1. The belief that shipping reflects a person’s morals, including ships that are unsavory. This includes any kind of shipping that reflects things that are inappropriate, frowned upon, or even illegal in the real world. Fictional characters in books or cartoons are not real people. They are dolls to play with, and even the darkest of shipping does not reflect a person’s true morals in reality.

       2. The misuse of the Japanese word “Fujoshi” and speaking over Japanese people and taking a word that is not yours and redefining it. I don’t even need to say why that’s messed up, do I? It’s not a word for westerners to butcher, so don’t. If Japanese people living in Japan say that Fujoshi is a reclaimed slur for women that now means “Woman who reads M|M” then you cannot redefine it as a person living outside of that country and culture. (If you misuse this word and say “Fujoshis” and “Fujos” please stop, you’re butchering the language, Fujoshi is already a plural word and it does not mean what you think it means.) This is just an example, but please stop taking words to mean something for marginalized people who are saying otherwise. I am a White American, I have no place in this debate and unless you’re a member of that marginalized group of people, you do not have a horse in this race either so stop before you look like an ass.

       3. The belief that people who enjoy darker fiction deserve harassment, bullying, and witch hunted. This is especially heinous. Reading, drawing, or writing/consuming dark fiction does not equate to real life morality, and while I may personally be uncomfortable with certain things depicted in fiction, I don’t care. No one deserves harassment. End of discussion.

        4. The use of strong words like “Predator (censored P)”, “Abuser”, and “Incest” so incorrectly and often that it has created alarm fatigue and aids actual abusers since the words are losing their weight. Like seriously, people roll their eyes at call-out posts now because of the fanpol calling every shipper a Predator (censored P). Now it’s become a word where people roll their eyes at because of so many false alarms and real abusers who hurt real people are getting away with it. Stop misusing words.

I will add any necessary Anti/FanPol rhetoric that I’m uncomfortable with as I go/remember. Anyway, to continue my DNI:

Blogs dedicated to hating a character or ship are gross, ‘kay? No one needs that negativity in their lives.

Anti-kins of any kind, just. Don’t? Be an asshole?

If you think ADHD is fake please get the hell off of my blog. This also includes rhetoric like “Well EVERYONE is a LITTLE ADHD...” like no get away from me.

If you believe that you need to have trauma to be a system, please leave. I am a “trauma” system and I think this is a stupid, bigoted take.

I’m super uncomfortable with people posting hate about my favorite characters, please no? This just really upsets me.

On that note if you actively harass people or post hate in the tags of characters or ships you don’t like you’re on my shit list

Theft of creative works of any kind will also put you on my shit list

Things that make me uncomfortable but aren’t the biggest deal in the world:

Minors following this blog, since this is a personal blog and not really actively trying to keep it kid friendly. Younger than 16 is especially sketchy, but I’m not about to check 1100+ blogs to see if any of you are minors and really shouldn’t be following this blog.

Reblogging from certain users I’ve had issues with in the past

Improper tagging, just try and I won’t be up in arms about it

A bit about myself:

My name is Rye!

I have ADHD, Autism, PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, and who knows what else.

I’m the core/host of a system! Info on that Here.

I’m Trans! Agender and use They/them (Plural) pronouns. I’m also aroace with a platonic life partner named Celest.

I’m an aspiring author!

I am an artist, but I find it more to be a hobby above everything else. That said, I really want to make animations and 2D video games!

Due to my ADHD/Autism I can be very blunt and abrasive. I apologize for this.

I’m a salt mine, once you activate my salt be prepared for some kind of rant. I try to tag my salt though.

I’m Too Old For Fandom Drama and bigotry and if you try to fight me I’ll just block you

This blog is a sideblog!

That’s all for now! Thanks for reading!Médecins Sans Frontières

[lokemikaze]

a rant because i need to rant

for those of you who don’t know, i’m asexual. i only quite recently realised this, and i have thought a lot about why, and how everything has influenced my life up to where i am now.

truth is, i grew up in a quite sexualized society, and back then - not more than ten years ago - kids my age had barely heard about gays and queers - and these phrases were used negatively to bully people. in other words, i had two choices; be normal, or be even more bullied than already.

by sixth grade most girls were getting boyfriends, and i was confused. how do i know if i really like a person? am i in love with this friend? or maybe that guy in the other class? i now know that what i thought was sexual attraction was indeed aesthetic attraction; an appreciation of good looks. had i known that, if i had even heard about something called ‘asexual’, i might have been able to avoid so much trouble.

this confusion added to the fact that i was insecure, unpopular and had problems understanding certain things about people (add to mess; unknown asperger’s), led to me being sexually abused repeatedly by a girl i considered my best friend. trust issues: check.

the next years were increasingly bad, most bordering on absolute hell. i was in and out of psychologists’ offices, had trouble at school, lost my best friend (who actually was my best friend. horses are better than people), and 'fell in love’ with my new best friend - who luckily only mentally abused me, not physically/sexually (are we starting to see a pattern here?)

i also caused a huge discussion in class once. i do not remember why we started talking about it, but i told them about not looking at a person (say, a celebrity) and thinking “damn, they're hot, i want a piece of that”, but instead “this person looks nice, i will keep looking at them but let them have their partners without really caring”. i immediately was flooded by questions about whether i didn’t feel love, if i would ever want to be in a relationship, etc. i now realise that everything i said under that discussion is LITERALLY DESCRIBING ASEXUALITY. yet i still didn’t know what that was

things change; i got tumblr, started a new school, got new (better) friends, got closer to the one who is now my partner ( @cleansahina ). i never even thought i could get a partner, after everything that’s happened and the discoveries i’ve made, but here i am. i somehow managed to get the nicest person of them all. i’m happy, at last.

then i open tumblr, the place which taught me to accept myself, and found a post from an acephobia blog - saying that aces abuse their partners i.e. by holding back on sex. as a person who’s been abused, this freaks me out. there is nothing that seems worse to me than me unknowingly abusing my partner just because i’m an insecure piece of shit who can’t be touched without freaking out, who appreciates brains more than looks, who is overprotective and difficult to understand because i complicate things and don’t even understand. trust me, i would rather die than cause my beloved harm, and saying that i do because of things i can’t change is like saying 'give up yourself or you will ruin the one you love the most’. what would you choose?

please. we need to educate people, kids, about being lgbtq+, INCLUDING ASEXUAL, and help kids avoid what i and so many others have been through. many people have it worse than me, but i know that i for one would have had more peace and happiness if someone had taught me that people like i exist, that i didn’t have to make an attempt to fit into the box and losing myself in the process