#it’s like asking me to go against nature 😤

[pinkkittysaw]

cloud strife my number one man to bully and tease 😌

[navybrat817]

Bucky needs to pay attention to me. 😤

I feel you, nonnie. 😂

Running on Empty

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: You had a long day and need Bucky to give you some attention.

Word Count: Almost 1.3k

Warnings: Explicit sexual content, oral sex (f. receiving), established relationship, dirty talk, humor, sassy reader, inner monologue, slight feels (it's me, lovelies), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?).

A/N: Work left me in a mood, so apologies for this. 😂❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

You huffed as you took a seat on the couch and wondered why you bothered getting out of bed today. Contrary to popular belief, Mondays weren’t always the worst. Naturally, the universe decided it would be fun to give you problem after problem today at work in retaliation for having a positive attitude. How you managed to get anything done outside of putting out so many fires, you had no idea.

And Bucky?

Your beefy, gorgeous specimen of a boyfriend had time to sit, relax, and reread his copy of The Hobbit for the umpteenth time. Manspreading in his chair like he didn’t have a care in the world. Not that you wanted him to have a bad day, too. God knows he deserved rest and relaxation.

But why was he reading instead of fucking the obvious frustration out of you?

“You’re staring at me,” he said, turning a page without looking up from his book. “Which I would say it’s creepy, but we both know you like looking at me.”

True.

You bit your lip as you unashamedly checked him out, wishing he’d lift his gaze so you could see the blue of his eyes. It was an impressive feat that his prosthetic arm matched his right arm in terms of the muscular form and structure, the fabric of his shirt stretching to accommodate his torso. It didn’t matter if he decided to hold you down with his flesh or metal hand, he loved to remind you of his strength as he pounded your desperate pussy, stretching your walls and driving into you so deep that you swore you saw the gates of heaven.

Maybe that was why you thought Bucky looked like Jesus when he was in Wakanda.

“Yeah, I am staring,” you replied, tapping a finger on your thigh when he hummed. “Because I’m trying to figure out why you’re reading instead of eating my pussy.”

Bucky waited a beat before he picked up the bookmark beside him, carefully slotting it between the pages before he shut it and gave you his full attention. “You mind repeating that?” He asked, his voice gruff as he tucked some of his hair behind his ear. He wore it down today, but kept a hair tie around his right wrist.

Perfect for him to pull it back when he went down on you.

He smirked and scratched his scruffy chin when you narrowed your eyes. You craved the burn it left behind when he rubbed his face against your most sensitive area. He knew that.

“You want me to spell it out for you, Bucko? Fine,” you said, leaning back on the cushions as you spread your legs and planted your feet on the couch. Your hands formed a perfect V by your mound, which might as well have been a neon fucking sign since you ditched your under minutes ago, as he tried to hold back a groan. “See this? I have a perfectly good pussy right here and it isn’t going to eat or fuck itself.”

Bucky ran his tongue along his bottom lip before he inhaled. The beautiful bastard was actually sniffing out your arousal. You almost wished you could go back in time and let the scientists know that the serum they created helped super soldiers use their heightened senses to get their dicks wet.

Not that you were complaining since Bucky eyed you like he wanted to devour you whole.

“I’m sorry, baby. Didn’t realize eating or fucking your pussy was on my ‘To Do’ list today,” he said, purposely running a large hand over his crotch.

Fucking tease with his fucking massive hand and cock.

You pouted when he didn’t make a move to get up. “I am your ‘To Do’ list. I’m your girlfriend and I want you to do me because I had a long day,” you huffed, dipping your hand between your spread legs before you batted your eyes at him. “You haven’t fucked me in ages. It isn’t fair.”

Your beautiful man snarled at that, making you shiver as you teased yourself. You didn’t dip a finger in, but you did spread your growing wetness around as he watched. “I fucked you last night,” he reminded you.

“It feels like ages,” you corrected yourself. Thanks to him, you experienced what all-consuming desire felt like and you didn’t like going long without him having you. He couldn’t fault you for that, even if he did thoroughly wear you out the night before. “I’m so empty, Bucky, and I have this tight, wet hole for you to fill up. It’s all yours if you want it.”

His nostrils flared as he finally pushed himself up, his fingers flexing as you kept rubbing yourself with a sweet smile. “It’s my pussy,” he rasped, palming himself again as he stood in front of you. “And since she’s so needy that I can’t even finish a chapter of my book, stop touching her and let me get to work.”

Like you don't have a needy cock, big boy.

The growl in his voice brought a moan out of you, but you didn’t stop touching yourself. “Unless you mark it,” you began, looking him dead in the eye as you brought a glistening finger to your lips and traced along them like a gloss. “It isn’t yours.”

You managed not to smirk triumphantly when he took the hair tie from his wrist and pulled his luscious hair back. “She knows she’s mine. Bratty pussy just wants some attention,” he said as he dropped to his knees and leaned in to nose at your slit. “But I don't mind leaving my mark again.”

“Did you just call my pussy a brat?” You questioned, the last word coming out as a strangled moan when Bucky darted his tongue out, his fingers digging into your thighs to keep you still.

“No, I called my pussy a brat. Good thing I know how to tame her,” he said, winking up at you when you looked down. The playful look in his eyes made your heart swell. He was so beautiful it almost hurt to look at him. “Kisses are a good way to start before I pump her full.”

“A very good start,” you smiled, clenching in anticipation.

“And she loves my kisses,” he replied before dragging his mouth along your folds. The sensation that shot through you almost had your thighs clamping around his head, but it wasn’t possible with the hold he had on you. “I gotta say though. She's a messy little thing. Gets my mouth so wet.”

“Bucky,” you whimpered, tugging some of his hair free as he gently wrapped his mouth around your clit.

He hummed and lightly sucked on it before he pulled away, making you whine in protest when the sparks of pleasure fizzled out. “Speaking of kisses, I almost forgot.”

You gave him a small smile when he leaned up to tenderly kiss your mouth, letting him swallow down your moan as you opened up for him. It ended far too soon for your liking, making you loop a finger around his dog tags to pull him back to your lips. “Love you, Bucky,” you whispered.

On the days you practically ran on empty, you appreciated having someone like him by your side.

“Love you, too, baby,” he whispered back, his gaze soft as he slid back down your body. “Now hold on and let me make you and my pussy forget all about that long day.”

You knew he’d ask later if you were okay, but for now you’d let him shut your brain off and make you feel boneless.

And maybe you'd offer to warm his cock later as a thank you while he caught up on reading.

We all deserve that, right? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[silassinclair]

Hi!

Can I request Maddox with a darling who lives to read, maybe he catches her reading some old romance books in an abandoned house they shack up in or something like that

Btw I live your writing ♥️

As someone who loves to read I am obligated to write for this req 😤🫡 Thanks for the request tho!! Hope you like it :-)

Yandere Wild West Outlaw x Bookworm Reader

CW// Maddox is annoying, Reader being a little perv Masterlist Here!!

The new house Maddox found was lovely. It had decently okay furniture and a vast collection of old books on the shelf. It's small with only two bedrooms and one bathroom but it was charming. But what caught your interest was the big oak wood bookshelf. You couldn't even remember the last time you picked up a book. Being on the run with Maddox made time fly.

"Who would leave all these books behind? They're all in great condition." You mutter to yourself as you take a blue and purple book with gold trim off the shelf. Tracing your fingers down the spine of the hardcover novel you appreciate the craftsmanship. It was clearly expensive, something you could no longer afford. Your Dad bought you many books like these but now you were pretty much broke. You only had Maddox to rely on now.

Speaking of Maddox you had no clue where he was. Which you didn't really care, he always disturbed your peace. Cracking open the book you sit down on the loveseat and start reading. It was a romance book about a huntsman who fell in love with a duchess. The story was beautiful as it was exhilarating.

"Oh wow, you into that kinda stuff?"

You snap the book shut instantly, a mini cloud of dust poofs from the pages. Maddox chuckles huskily behind you, leaning down and resting his chin on the back of the loveseat.

"Oh don't be embarrassed princess, it was getting to the good part. What did it say again? Oh! Ahem-"

Maddox coughs into his hand and smirks. Deepening his voice he quotes the passage in a deep, British-like accent,

"He caresses the duchess' milky thighs, her womb felt of silk wrapped around his ma-"

"OH HUSH!" You whip around and smack the outlaw's head, his hat nearly flying off. But he only laughs at your flustered state.

"You're filthy." You groan and put the book back on the shelf where it was. But Maddox follows behind you and takes the book into his own hands and opens it up. Skimming through the pages he smirks.

"I'm filthy? Sweetheart you're the one readin' this junk." Maddox shuts the book and puts it back. Putting his hand up on the shelf he leans against it while looking down at your shorter self.

"Well it is a romance book." Rolling your eyes you choose a different book. This time you pick a title you're familiar with, Pride and Prejudice.

"Now leave me alone you brute. I'd like to relax for once." With that you walk away and go outside. Finding a nice tree you sit beneath it and read the book. Reading reminded you of home, the home that was ripped from you. In a way it was escapism which is unhealthy but a girl can dream right?

Hours pass and the sun begins to set, casting an orange glow across the cloudy sky. The words on the page become harder to read as the sun sinks lower and the moon rises. You didn't want it to end. You know you could read inside but that damn outlaw was inside. You just wanted to stay out here forever with the natural ambience of wind and birds.

Footsteps approach you and you already know who it is. Looking up you see him. Black denim jeans, a burgundy vest, twin revolvers around his waist, and a dark brown cowboy hat on his head. And of course that bandana covering the bottom half of his face. Anytime you asked him about his face he got ticked off so you avoided the subject. But you couldn't help but be curious.

"You're starin' sweetheart." His husky voice breaks the silence. There’s a hint of a Spanish accent mixed in with his Southern drawl. You can't help but think about what it would be like if you and him met under different circumstances. Would he save you from bandits? Offer to buy you a drink at the saloon?

Would you two have a storybook romance just like in the books you adore?

"Hey."

He's right in front of you now, crouched to your height. His gloved hand pets your hair and you're frozen. He has you in a trance that you make no effort to free yourself from. His dark amber eyes are crinkled in slight concern over your unusual silence.

"What..?" You say softly.

"It's gettin' dark. Unless you wanna be dinner for the coyotes then I suggest comin' back in. I'll cook up some beans so hurry your little bum up."

Well there goes the moment. You groan and get up off the grass, your back cracking as you stretch. Your eyes watch as Maddox walks back into the house. His hips sway as he walks, you never really payed attention to that before. His ass looks pretty round in those pants to-

"Ugh, what is wrong with me.." Groaning, you follow after him.

[cream-stew]

listennn thoma enjoying teasing naturally shy and easily embarrassed afab reader by riling them up and making a mess of them then asking them to ride him 😋 he's like 'if you want it then come and get it' i would honestly pass away

🔞 minors dni

warnings: afab reader, riding, reader is super embarrassed yet very into it

// note: here you go🤝

he loves getting you all hot and bothered without ever getting to the point, leaving you with soaked panties and no relief at all :(

you only have innocent intentions when you sit on his lap, wanting to cuddle, but he always dips his hand under your skirt so he can rub over your clothed pussy, not caring if someone sees what he's doing, and you try to at least stifle your moans so it's not as obvious :( you'll hold on to his arm, at the same time begging him to stop and to continue, but you're too shy to vocalize your naughty thoughts :((

he's not happy with that ofc he wants you to come out of your shell more😤 he'll stop right before you cum in your panties, and pull his hand back, gripping your waist instead and massaging your hips with his thumbs.

"you have to use your voice", he whispers into your ear, "prove me just how filthy your thoughts are"

but you're too embarrassed to speak!! your pretty eyes welling with tears at the thought that he won't let you cum, so you try at least to grind your ass on his clothed erection, hoping that it'll be enough to sway him…

"mmn, you know what? how about you ride me instead?", you feel him grin against the back of your neck, before he presses a soft kiss on your skin, "that way you won't have to tell me what you want, and you can just take it for yourself"

it's still embarrassing as fuck, but to you it feels more doable than just telling him point blank you want him to fuck you so hard that you'll be screaming in pleasure…

you reach backwards for his fly and unzip his pants, then your trembling fingers barely poke the bulge in his underwear… oh he's so big already… you slowly tug his cock free, and give it a few awkward strokes without even looking, whimpering at how hot and hard it feels in your grip. he laughs at how slowly you're moving, yet he encourages you and praises you for making it this far already, and you rise a bit on your knees so you can pull your soaked panties to the side and press the tip of his cock to your entrance.

you whimper when it breaches you, sobbing a lil bit as you sit on that huge cock, and he praises you again, leaving more kisses down your throat.

"so good, your pussy feels perfect around my cock. how about you start moving now, huh? I bet you'll love it, yeah, you'll love bouncing on my cock, won't you?"

you try rising up again and sitting back down, and you do love it, you love the way it stretches you so deeply inside, and the way the cockhead hits your cervix when you let yourself fall back down on his lap, moaning and panting heavily!!

you struggle to keep riding him at a good pace, but he does absolutely nothing to help you. when you're finally too tired to keep going, you're still far from cumming, and you feel yourself break: "please fuck me", you start begging him, and with a pleased grin, he flips you two so that he's pinning you to the couch cushions.

"see? I knew you could do it"

[sweetbunpura]

Honestly I ADORE the idea of the tags just being like…

#accidental boyfriend acquirement x2

#instructions unclear: dating the tweels

#getting together after almost getting murdered

#is this normal for mers?

#…or maybe underwater mobsters?

#oh just the tweels? okay cool

#hey quick question is it normal for your new bfs mob family members to break into your house and fight you?

#asking for a friend

#gratuitous eels

#WHY ARE THERE SO MANY?!

Okay I may have gone overboard with the tags but either way you get what I mean. It’s just SO FUNNY TO ME???? 🤣

Like I def don’t mind platonic fics (my username is the-ace-reader for a reason lmao) but I also just love the vibe when characters are close friends and they just fit so well together they just naturally start dating and it’s so simple.

Aaaaaand I also like when it’s to the point where others are like “wait… you WEREN’T dating?!” and you can’t look at Symbiotic Relationship and tell me Yuu’s friends would NOT say that about the three of them together! 😂

I think you could go any which way you’d like - I mean. Obviously. It’s your story. 🤦‍♀️ But I think whether you try to stick with your og plan of having them be platonic or switch and have them end up in a poly relationship, it’ll be fun either way! Because the way you write them all is SO fun!

And I really do hope you write that sequel. I think it would be SO funny if the tweels family broke into Yuu’s house and Yuu just 🥊

Yuu may be Shrimpy, but shrimpy Yuu is not! The human can and will fight! 💪😤

#Giving the leech name a correct definition

The funniest thing is that someone could point all of this out to Yuu and she'd be like "Well, damn..."

"Are you gonna tell them this was an misunderstanding?"

"...I mean, I'm not saying no to the idea"

"oh seven..."

The other idea is that the whole family can smell Jade and Floyd on Yuu and they can smell Yuu on the twins. When asked about it, it's like multiple nails being hit on the head. Jade and Floyd are embarrassed while Yuu's just winging it, she weirdly calm about the whole thing.

Anyone breaks into Yuu's house, it's an immediate "these hands are rated e for everyone" moment, and she's winning against the encounter too. Has to be stopped by being picked up by Floyd.

"Shrimpy- Oh, is that the bat I gave ya~?"

"Yeah."

"...."

"Floyd, don't."

"I wasn't gonna! ...But she's using the bat i gave her-"

"Floyd."

[nanawritesit]

Yeosang Boyfriend Headcanons!

this guy is such a lil sweetie! he was a bit shy to approach you at first 🥺

as i said before in my previous ateez headcanons, yeosang is a big starer. he would legit just stare at you for half an hour and consider it flirting

however once he senses that you’re interested in him as well, his flirt game is turned up to the MAX

he drives you crazy the way he gives you delicate little touches, your heart stops every time he brushes your hair out of your face or pulls a loose thread off your sweater

when you weren’t afraid to flirt back with him, he knew you were the one. the second you started teasing him and giving him a hard time, he was like, “this is it. i need them.”

he’s so fricking observant too. he’ll memorize every little detail about you so he can bring it up in a conversation later

he’s also an impulsive gift giver

“hey remember that one time you said you mentioned that obscure cartoon you used to watch as a kid? well i saw a keychain of it and thought of you, so here you go!”

he tried really hard to wait to ask you out, wanting to give you time to pine over him and create a slow burn, but he just CANT WAIT to make you his.

and he was so tickled when you said yes, he would not stop giggling like a little school girl 🥰

he also knows how adorable you think his laugh and fanged smile is, and will use it against you to make you fall for him even harder

ALRIGHT MOVING ON TO ACTUAL RELATIONSHIP STUFF-

his excellent observance doesn’t end when y’all start dating. even if you just have the slightest change in your breathing pattern, he notices and is like “hey what’s wrong”

he’s the first one to notice when you get a new haircut, knows you’re sick the second he looks at you, adjusts your necklace when it gets turnt around, ties your shoe when the laces come undone…

because he stares so much he knows every little detail of your appearance

the different specks of color in your eyes, all your little moles and freckles, any scars you might have, the way you part your hair, whether or not you’re wearing makeup and what kind…

speaking of which, he dies a little on the inside every time you kiss his birthmark ❤️ he was scared to show you his bare face at first, but you were quick to tell him how beautiful he is (as you should 😤)

yeosang calls his partner “honey,” no i do not take criticism

and in his deep ass voice? ugh i would melt 😭

*when you surprise him at work* “honey! what are you doing here?”

*barging into your apartment* “oh my honey, i brought you your favorite food!”

*coming back in from getting the mail* “hey honey, come look at this new drone i got!”

he may seem all cool and statuesque, but deep down he’s just a big nerd 🤓 he’s always asking you to come to the park with him to fly his drones

makes you help him sort his candies by color 💀

he loves that you never see him as judgmental or picky because of his honest nature. you always take special interest in his opinions, and admire that he’s not afraid to speak his mind

and he does the same for you as well! he thinks so highly of you that he’s always interested in what you have to say about things. he wants to know all of your likes and dislikes :)

you guys tell each other EVERYTHING, there’s not much you guys keep secret from each other 💀

you know all of his memories with the boys, his childhood stories, his most embarrassing moments.. he knows all the drama in your friend group, your family situation, and your deepest secrets

he’s a morning person, so if you’re not then you’ll have to get used to him waking up early and fluttering around the house doing things

(and um i’m not a morning person but hearing his voice get even deeper in the morning would motivate me to wake up 😳)

after a while he gets lonely and starts pestering you to wake up and spend time with him in a pouty voice 🥺

*poking your face and shaking your shoulder* “honeyyyy, it’s almost noon… the day is half over and you haven’t even cuddled me yet…”

he thinks you’re incredibly cute when you’re half asleep and groggy in the morning :)

he ends up threatening to cook you breakfast which makes you LEAP out of bed 💀

consequently, he’s not a big night owl unless he has to be… if you’re one, he ends up converting you to a morning person because he’s so fricking persistent 🤦🏼‍♀️

but for a while if you’re hanging out with him late at night he’ll start nodding off, and when you wake him he’ll go “i wasn’t asleep” 🤡

san and wooyoung will try to call you guys at 9 pm to see if you want to go out to get drinks with them, only to find out that both your phones were shut off, and you were both in your pajamas doing face masks and watching a movie on the couch together, fading in and out of consciousness ❤️

wooyoung once called you his grandparents 💀 y’all know it’s bad if he’s not taking an opportunity to call hongjoong and seonghwa old

caring for the scrapes on his elbows and knees when he falls off his skateboard 🥰

he also desperately wants to teach you how to skateboard if you don’t already know how! he’s so patient and gentle with you, always letting you fall into his arms and catching you when you slip :)

“it’s okay honey, i’ve got you! i know it’s scary, but i promise it’s so fun once you get the hang of it. you’re actually doing really well for your first time!”

you guys will eventually become the cool skater couple that everyone is jealous of 💀

he ALWAYS smells good, and his scent somehow embeds itself in all your clothes and furniture so even when he’s not there, you’re thinking of him

when you see him after you’ve been apart for a long time, of course you’ll run up to each other for a bone crushing hug, and as soon as his familiar scent hits you your eyes well with tears

he hates seeing you cry, even if it’s from happiness

*wiping your tears with a reassuring smile* “oh honey, please don’t cry… we’re together now.”

he’s constantly putting your needs before his own, you actually had to sit him down and explain to him that while you love and appreciate his selflessness, he needs to take care of himself more often

he’s not the biggest fan of PDA, but he does enjoy holding hands… he likes walking with you and swinging your interwoven hands back and forth ❤️

you’ll catch him smiling at the sidewalk and ask him what’s up, he just says “i like the way your hand fits in mine.”

yeosang is a big forehead kisser 🥰 it’s his favorite way to show his affection in a sweet and delicate way

he’s so sensitive to your touch… if you just brush your hands over his shoulders and arms, it’s enough to make his heart flutter :)

there are a lot of nights were you guys just lay in bed next to each other and talk about EVERYTHING… it just goes on and on until one of you falls asleep

he never really lashes out on you, no matter how upset he is. before every reaction, his words and actions are carefully chosen and thought over.

he’s also very good at forgiveness. that’s not to say that you can treat him badly, but everyone makes mistakes and he knows that. he has this amazing ability to see things from different perspectives that allows him to forgive you when you slip up

overall, having yeosang as a boyfriend is a blast. he’s so sweet and attentive, and you never run out of things to talk about. and even if you did, he would just make something up to fill the silence! no matter what, you always feel so loved and appreciated with him by your side 🥰

[melanieph321]

Ruben Dias x Reader - A House Is Not A Home Part 7/8

This chapter makes me 😤 but it had to be written.

Ruben's wife dies during childbirth along with their son. Ruben hasn't been in a relationship since. Y/N is a single mother to a four year old boy. She buys a house in the small town that Ruben lives in. The house needs alot of fixing which Ruben helps with, resulting in him slowly falling in love with Y/N. However, falling in love with Y/N makes Ruben feel like he is betraying his dead wife.

Enjoy!

A memorial for Gina was held at your house on the 25th. Katarina helped you with the food and David made sure to solve any logistics so that Ruben wouldn't have to. Alot of people in town had known Gina and most of them came to honor her memory. You had never imagined your house being this full of people. Especially people you didn't know.

"Hi."

"Hey."

You found Ruben alone on the porch, a bottle of beer in his hand. It was his third one for the day. You felt guilty for keeping count.

"Food's ready if you want to head inside?" You said.

Ruben took a slow chug of his beer. "Nah, I'm good thanks."

"I could make you a plate, bring it out here if you like?"

Ruben tilted his head to look at you, a crooked smile on his lips. "It's okay Y/N, I'm not hungry."

You nodded, but did not leave the porch. "Mind if I join you?" You didn't think he would mind anyway and prepared to sit down. As you bent your knees Ruben's arm brought you down to sit between his legs on the step below where he was sitting. He tucked you in by wrapping his arms around your body, letting you relax with your back against his chest. There was a minute of silence as the sound of nature around you took over. Birds sang in the trees above your heads and a cricket lurked somewhere in the tall grass. You found it difficult to see beyond the property. There was fog in the distance. Not even the barn could be spotted amongst the evaporating clouds.

"Do you miss her?" You asked. Perhaps the question wasn't justified in a time like this,  but you wanted Ruben to feel comfortable talking about Gina with you, somthing you knew he wasn't.

"Every day." He sighed, his chin resting on the top of your head.

"What do you miss the most about her?"

Ruben had to ponder for a moment, perhaps let the memories of his wife resurface in his mind. "Her smile." He smiled. "And her kindness. Gina always wanted the best for everyone and would go out of the way for people, expecting nothing back. It's where we differ."

You tilted your head up, letting Ruben see the frown on your face. He raised a brow as to ask 'did I say somthing wrong?'

"You helping me with the house, was that not you showing your kindness?"

He nodded. "Yes, but I had my reasons."

"What reasons?" You sat up, wanting to face him.

"Like I said Y/N, that house had been haunting me for years. I was glad to sell it to you, but I wasn't gonna let you stay in a house with no roof. Helping you clear the house after the storm was not me being kind, it was strictly business."

You wanted to argue further, ask if Ruben kissing you had been strictly business as well? However, your questions silenced within you since Ruben was probably hurting. You settled down between his legs again and let his rough hands outline the contours of your face. Behind you the front door came ajar. Both you and Ruben turned around to see David, with Johnny bouncing in his arms.

"Has any of you seen Emily? Kat says she's missing."

Ruben got up almost immediately, forcing you to do the same. "I'll check upstairs." He said.

"Alright. Johnny and myself will check the basement, but I doubt it she's down there." This left you on the porch, feeling ill willed that you had no interest in looking for Gina's sister Emily. Nevertheless you grabbed a coat from inside and stepped out again. You might as well cover some ground as to say that you participated in the search. You came as far as to the fields where the fog was as thickest. But as you stood near the fence you could see the outline of the barn, it's door swaying with the wind.

"Emily?"

Light rain had begun to fall when you reached the barn. You hurried to take cover under its high roof.

"You threw all of it away?"

You turned as a shadow swept behind you. It was Emily, wearing nothing but a black dress and a pair of gummiboots.

"My god Emily, what are you doing in here? Aren't you cold?"

Emily gave you one of her fretful glares. You had gotten quite used to them since she stepped into your house. She made it seem like everything you did was wrong or insulting, weather that would be clearing a plate from a table or hand Johnny his juice. For some reason Emily seemed to constantly judge you. Obviously disliking you.

"You threw all of it away, all of her things." Emily hissed, ignoring your question.

"What things?" Emily was older than you, but only by a couple of years. Along with Gina she had studied law in Manchester, now serving as a divorce attorney at a law firm in the city. Compared to her you felt so unacomplished with your nursing degree.

"My sister things, all of her belongs. They used to be here in this barn." She said, clearly upset not to have found them there.

"They were given to charity." You said. "It was Ruben's idea actually."

"He would never." She chuckled. "What else have you brainwashed him to do, huh?"

"Pardon?" You frowned.

"You've forced Ruben to give away all the last memories of my sister, what else have you done? Tricked him to thinking that your son could ever replace the child he lost?"

You caught yourself wanting to say something that you would regret, but quickly redeemed yourself. Just like Ruben this must be a very difficult day for Emily as well. "I know you're hurting Emily." You said, your voice low and reasonable. "But making others around you hurt too, won't make the pain go away."

"Who are you to...." Emily flinched, but you interrupted her. "Ruben hasn't done anything to deserve this." You said. "But there is nothing wrong with moving on. Surley it's what Gina would have wanted."

"What do you know?" Emily's face trembled with rage as tears slid down her cheeks. "What Gina would have wanted, Ruben and I are going to make that happen, sooner than you think."

Your eyebrows furrowed, unsure what she was indicating.

"He hasn't told you I see." Emily looked amused. "I suppose he wanted to spare the time you had left together."

"What are you talking about Emily?" You couldn't stand her fretful glare. The way Ruben described Gina, she would have been nothing like her sister.

"Gina always wanted a house in the country."

"Yes, so I have heard." Katarina and David told you this some time ago.

"But she also wanted a house in the sun. Ruben suggested his home country, Portugal. The sun there definitely shines more than it does here. All he needed to do was get rid of the house. Luckily he found you."

You were beginning to understand.

"Upon my arrival I was given the green light from the land owners in Madeira, and what would be greater than me delivering the news to Ruben personally. Turns out he and you had gotten a little too familiar during the treaty of the property. A distraction, I think he called you."

"You're lying!" You exclaimed, by now you really were pissed. Emily's uneven stans also suggested that she has had a little too much to drink to cope with her emotions. What she was saying to you couldn't possibly be the truth.

"Ask him yourself." She laughed. "Am I not telling your little friend the truth Ruben?"

You turned around as Emily's gaze was focus somewhere over your shoulder. Because of the increasing rain you hadn't heard him come up behind you. Ruben, standing in the rain, looked both guilty and innocent at the same time.

"Y/N...let me explain."

He had overheard your conversation and these were his first choice of words.

"It's true?" You frowned.

"Yes ." Emily spoke behind you, but your eyes were only on Ruben.

"Yes and no." He said. "I was planing on selling the house and use the money to build a new one in Portugal, but...."

"But?" You chuckled as it was absurd. How come he hadn't told you?

"But then I met you." He nodded. "And I couldn't decide."

"So you're still contemplating it, moving to Portugal?" You were quite stunned. Ruben's answer was slilence which was enough for you.

"Y/N, don't."

You stepped outside, the rain showering you in seconds. You turned back to the barn where Ruben stood in the doorway. Emily had shied away in the back, perhaps too difficult for her to remain standing.

"For once in my life I need someone to choose me." You said.

"Y/N, please, come inside. We can talk about this inside. " He stretched out his hand, offering it to you.

You shook your head. "There is nothing for us to talk about, I have a son Ruben and like always, I choose him. But for once...." Your voice trailed off. You thought about Johnny's father and how much this reminded you of the day you told him that you were pregnant. "For once..." You said, wiping your eyes. From rain not tears. "For once I wish someone would choose me. I was stupid to think that that someone would be you."

"Y/N, wait!" Ruben stepped out into the rain, chasing after you. He didn't chase for long, of course. Emily was left in the barn, drunk and unable to return to the house by herself. And so Ruben made a choice. He chose her.

[meowzfordayz]

when they’re inebriated — inosuke, tanjirou, giyuu

Author’s Note: took a slightly diff angle than the OG prompt, but am content w/ the fluff + softness of the results.🤗

when they’re inebriated — inosuke, tanjirou, giyuu

Hashibira Inosuke x Reader, Kamado Tanjirou x Reader, Tomioka Giyuu x Reader

Word Count: ~1,000

CW: alcohol, explicit language

Emergency Request Fulfilled: If you're already busy you can just ignore this but I need some drunk inosuke/giyuu/tanjiro defending their (afab preferably) partner. Been having a hard time and this would be so sweet. You can choose whatever else but at least this. Don't rush it tho take your time!!!

~faqs~

Drunk + Inosuke = defending your honor against anything and everything, anyone and everyone

Mirror looking at you funny? 🪞😒 He’ll punch it if you don’t stop him in time 🪞🥊😤

Someone tries to compliment you? He’ll unceremoniously shove himself between your bodies, which would be sweet if that someone was actually harassing/threatening you 🥲

“Inosuke, honey…” amusement tugging at the corner of your mouth

“WHAT?” eyes wide, concern etched into his forehead as he pats you down determinedly, “Are you okay?!”

“Yeah, um, they just said my shoes were nice,” snorting, “I was about to tell them where I bought them from.”

*cue Inosuke swiveling around faster than you can blink*

*jabbing a finger in the general direction of the poor soul who DARED to compliment you*

“NO STEALING MY SWEETHEART’S SHOES!”

For fuck’s sake 🫠😂

Mind you, this man will hiss at a baby if said baby doesn’t smile at you 🥴

As for when there’s actually an issue?

He, surprisingly, prioritizes you (vs beating up the issue)

Maybe it’s the subtle fear or discomfort in your eyes

Or how your nails dig a little sharper into his bicep than usual

But he’ll immediately lead you somewhere else, #riperoni to whoever happens to be in the way, thumb rubbing gentle circles into your skin as he holds your hand 🥺

“Are you okay?” bristling anger simmering beneath his quiet devotion to you, “Do I need to call anyone? Should we go home? Find something to eat?”

Chest aching as you pull him into a tight hug, strong arms wrapping secure and steady around your waist, his lips pressed warm against your head

“I’ve got you,” murmured into your hair, “Just don’t let go of me, ‘kay? Otherwise I might start a fight.” 🤫

Tanjirou rarely drinks

Mostly bc he already feels warm and fuzzy beside you, let alone adding alcohol to the mix

But when he does?

Prepare to have one (1) Kamado Tanjirou glued to your front, your back, your side, for the remainder of the evening 🤗

Usually, holding hands, kissing your cheek, giving you a piggyback ride, is the extent of his PDA

Drunk Tanjirou, however, is significantly more comfortable invading your personal space bubble 😌

🫧 *pop* 🫧

Ofc, he absolutely respects any boundaries you set, but gosh he’s like a kitten who just wants to curl up on your shoulder and purr 🐾

But obvi he can’t exactly curl up on your shoulder, sooo he settles for everything else (purring included)

If you’re staying in, then expect his head in your lap, or you pulled onto his lap

And if you’re watching something, then expect him to ask you questions every other minute bc he’d rather nuzzle his face in your thighs/neck than actually focus on the screen

Getting up for a snack? 🍿

You bet he’s getting up too, kisses peppered across your shoulder blades as you open the fridge, warm palms grabbing your hips to spin you around and touch his nose to yours as soon as you find whatever you were looking for

Kamado Tanjirou will follow you into the bathroom if you let him, preparing perfectly portioned and folded toilet paper for your convenience 🧻

If you’re out and about, then expect him to prefer somewhere less crowded, a park or something nature-esque, weather permitting

He knows packed clubs and bustling bars aren’t the best for showering you in affection

But moonlit strolls along secluded streets are wonderful for spontaneous twirling, dips, and other overly elaborate dance maneuvers ✨🌙

Sometimes he’ll hum a vague tune

Most of the time, a tender, swaying melody guides your footsteps, caress of darkness audible to only you and him

“You’re beautiful,” he declares, the world in his eyes as he gazes at you, “Thank you for being my partner.”

—regarding the OG prompt… drunk Tanjirou def has a dangerous coolness if/when someone bothers you

—an almost surreal smoothness to his voice, silvery politeness hardly masking his underlying intent as he warns your offender

—“You should leave.”

Is typically stoic

Yada yada

It takes a lot to pry a compliment out of Giyuu

“Giyuu, how do I look?” twirling in your loosely wrapped towel, droplets glistening on your dewy skin

“Like you need help drying off.”

Really? 🙄

C’mon Dude™ 🙃

Dw, he was seconds away from being ~disrespectful 😏🫢

Sadly, respect won 😔

Or: “Giyuu, what’s your favorite thing about me?”

*insert Giyuu raising an eyebrow*

*insert Giyuu grimacing*

*insert Giyuu running away*

Again, he was seconds away from plopping his raw heart into your cupped hands 🥺🫀

Sadly, emotional constipation won ☹️

—How this man’s even in a relationship, Idk 😃

—Bc he’s cute ☺️

—That’s how

—And endearing (somewhat) 🤔

The secret, however, to getting his elusive affection and adoration (and praise), is actually quite simple

Pour Giyuu a drink, maybe two, and all his reservations dissipate 🍶

“Babe, you look gorrrgeous,” hands flailing happily, “Absolutely stunning!” gesturing vaguely, “Your HAIR!”

“What about my hair?” amusement in your smile as he gasps excitedly

“It’s just so PRETTY!” falling forward into you *oof*, inhaling deeply *ahh*, eyes closing contentedly, “Smells so NICE.”

Pouting as you gently push him upward, “Am I too heavy?” making grabby hands (fricking Giyuu + grabby hands 😭🥰), “Love, I love you!”

—Be still my heart 🫠💓

Ask him, “Giyuu, what’s your favorite thing about me?”

And he’ll get this serious look in his eyes, body suddenly so still you wonder if he’s miraculously sobered up, voice contemplative and lower than usual

“My favorite thing about you is how you love yourself. That shit’s hard. I know I’m no good at it, at loving myself, so getting to watch you cherish yourself is… it’s a gift,” uncharacteristic tears welling, blubbering, “I just! I just love you, sooo much!” wailing now, “SOooooo muCH!”

Side note: he gradually becomes better about being vulnerable while sober too, but there’s something naive and lighthearted about the occasional indulgence of Drunk Giyuu™

—regarding the OG prompt… drunk Giyuu isn’t particularly ~helpful if/when someone bothers you, mostly bc he’s flabbergasted that anyone could bear to offend you 😖

—he’s more than capable of defending you physically/removing you from an unsafe situation, but in terms of ~emotional damage?

—you might need to reassure him 💀, bc he’s 11/10 devastated that, apparently, not everyone perceives you as the Divine Being™ that you obviously are 😠😍

[prismuffin]

[Okay so homie ignore this if ur busy I just NEED 47 content and ur one of the only ones to provide it a req I guess????? LOVE U HOMIE 💞💞💞💞💞💞-

Anyway:]

PICK YOUR POISON:

Romantic:

So 47 with a genderfluid reader (Bc I KNOW u simp for this man and u are absolutely unhinged when it comes to your fav characters 😤)? Maybe a romantic candlelit dinner and it's basically really fluffy??? Imagine this it's been 2 years since he's taken you into captivity he's been nothing but kind to you and you find yourself catching stockholm syndrome. Maybe they share a sweet little kiss?

Or or or

Platonic:

Dad!47 with an agender reader? Maybe reader tries to escape or just in general rebels against dear old dad? I just wanna see how you'd write reader running away and 47 reacting to reader escaping from his tightly secured home- 😈

(Also remember that if u pick one I'll put the one u didn't pick in a new req once they're open again and I'll add another option to pick from)

A/n: Ahh yes, hello Ghost YOU DID NOT HAVE TO EXPOSE ME ABT SIMPING FOR 47 OK?!- But Ik you like a dad!47 so I went with that one

Escapade

Yandere!Father!Agent 47 x gn!reader

( summary: after asking to go to a party leads to an argument with your father, 47, you decide to rebel for one night and leave anyway )

Warnings?: Mentions of drinking, Yandere 47 so, possessiveness, stalking/being followed, mentions of an argument, 47 cornering the reader, mentions of guns, mentions of poisons and poisoning, normal Hitman violence- reader can be a teen or adult you choose!!

!-!more under the cut!-!

“No.”

“What?”

“I said no.”

“Why not?!”

47’s deadpan expression didn’t waver as he took a sip of his tea, the warmth of the liquid was evident to you even from where you stood. “Because I said so.” You almost audibly laughed at that, currently you were attempting asking your father to let you leave the house to go to a party that you had been invited to by one of the only people your father lets you talk to. He’s let you out of the house before so you don’t get why he won’t let you go this time. "That's not even an answer." "I don't want you going, drop it." You closed your mouth, swallowing any further protests as you did. "Fine," quickly, you stormed off to your room, making sure to not slam the door.

You huffed as you stuffed a bag with some extra clothing. You carefully picked out which garments you threw in there, you'd change later. You picked up a hunters knife from your desk and hid it in your boot. You’ve been with your dad for long enough to know that sneaking out was possible but not plausible. After he notices your absence, you practically have a specific amount of time before he locates you and drags you back home.

You’ve only attempted this once before way back when you’d first been taken. You were a child then and were able to escape using the vents that led through to the outside. You were only gone for what felt like a matter of seconds in your kid brain, though in reality you know if was longer. It took you a while to accept your “new life” as 47 put it. He was your father and though you know he took you from your real parents at this point there’s not much you can do about it now. You can’t remember what your old life used to be like so you don’t feel as bad when thinking about it. Instead, you’re glad that your father cares so much and even after earning his trust enough for you to go out semi-often his protective nature can still get overbearing at times. You’ve totally spotted him trailing you when you’re out with the only people that 47 let’s you talk to. Sometimes you wonder if they’re just actors he’s hired to make you stop whining about not meeting new people.

You scoffed at the thought as you zipped up your bag, you had a few rations of food and some water bottles in case you got thirsty, you were to wait until your father goes to bed and then you’d act, he sleeps around the same time every night when he’s not taking mission and it’s usually a pretty early time so there should be no problem with getting to the party late. All you had to do now was wait.

—TS—

The house was cold and dark, the shiny tiles reflected the light from the full moon that shone through the large windows. You'd be foolish to go through the front door knowing the system your dad has set up this whole house would come down on top of you if you were to trigger any alarms. Your heart raced and you steadied your breathing as you walked barefoot through the halls. Your father had an armory within the house that had a crawlspace designed for quick escapes. The heavy disguised door let out an even colder draft as you opened it. Flicking on your flashlight you pointed it into the dark room, stepping in and shutting the weighted door behind you as quietly as you could. You swear you could see your breath as you creeped through the cold armory, elevating your heels to feel less of the cold on your feet.

You quickly placed the flashlight in your mouth as you crouched down near the wall. Pulling a lockpick from your pocket, you undid the lock of the crawlspace as quick as you could, the cold of the room stiffening your movements slightly. After getting it open you crawled in, throwing your backpack further ahead first so that you could properly close the door to the makeshift tunnel. The space led you to a small room near the garage, the only way out other than the place you just came from was a large vent that sat in the corner. With a bit of struggle you were able to get high enough to unscrew it and crawl through.

You had done it, you'd made it outside, and though you knew you'd left an obvious trail of where you'd gotten out it was fine to you. Avoiding the cameras, you found your bike near the trail in front of your house and grabbed it. It was now that you put on your shoes, hoping that you hadn't left any obvious trails up until this point. You rode through the forests, breaking off from the main trail near the beginning to a less taken hikers trail that was blocked off halfway down the mountain.

Eventually you'd made your way to the main streets, riding all the way until you hit a gas station. It was there that you freshened up in their bathroom, changing your clothes into a more appealing outfit for the party. You then continued your ride to the address your friend had given you, your smile growing as you heard music as you continued to near the place. But no matter how happy you currently were your father was quite the opposite.

Looking at the cameras, his signature expression changed ever so slightly as he frowned. You'd escaped his watchfulness, honestly he hadn't expected you to get so far. By the time he awoke you were already outside, the crawlspace he guessed, and upon inspection he was right. He was quick to check his cameras, he had them aligned with the main trail to get to the house and at first he was able to locate you, but you'd obviously gone off path because the next second you weren't in frame anymore. He sighed, rolling up the sleeves of his black turtle neck. He stood, going to grab everything he thinks he'll need. Guns, knives, and syringes of multiple poisons littered the walls and counters of his basement. Explosives? He doesn't think it'll get that serious.

Sedative? Perfect.

He packs his coins and garrote wire along and sets off to track you.

"I'm so glad you could make it Y/n!" You friend yells over the loud music and you cheer back. "Me too! It took a while to convince my dad but I made it!" You lied, clinking your drink with them before chugging it back. "Oh shit-" Your friend stumbled and you snorted, almost choking on your drink as you laughed. "Ughhh here, take my drink," you said, handing your cup to your friend, "I gotta piss." "Let me go with youuu," they slurred and you shook your head. "I'll be right back it's right over...there!" You saidd, pointing dramatically towards the open bathroom door. "Plus I need someone to watch my drink." they sighed before waving you off, mumbling a fine as you skipped your way to the bathroom.

"Woops, sorry!" Your friend said after someone bumped into them. The person hadn't responded though and quickly got lost in the crowd of people. Checking that none of your drink spilled on them, your friend sighed at the lack of liquid on their clothing. Lifting the cup to their lips they paused, before laughing at themselves. "That's- That is not my drink~," they giggled at themselves before pushing your cup away from them.

Sooner rather than later you came back to your friend, swooping your drink out of their hand you took a sip as they immediately went back to talking to you. After a while though the lights started to blur together, it felt different from the previous effects of the slightly alcoholic beverages you'd been drinking and you struggled to keep your eyes open.

"Hey I'm gonna go get some air-" You tried to yell over the music but you're not sure how loud you'd actually been speaking. Stumbling out of the party you were met with the fresh cold night air, a stark contrast to the humid environment inside. You walked a little ways away from the intimate couples that littered around the front of the house. You blinked slowly as you caught your breath, you felt a little better but not by much.

A clinking noise caught your attention, in between the houses where the fence clashed with the opposite houses, creating a dark alleyway. Curious, you walked towards it, well, more like stumbled as your feet seemed to work against you. As you neared the location of the sound you were met with something shiny, a quarter. You picked it up, inspecting it a bit. "Nice," you slurred, putting the shiny metal into your pocket before standing back up. You stumbled backwards into a sturdy surface, a wall maybe? That you swear wasn't there before.

Turning, you came face to face with the bright blue eyes of your father. A gasp escaped you as you tried to back away, tripping over your own feet causing you to fall to the hard ground. You groaned as your father crouched down to you. "You never should have disobeyed me." Your vision blurred a bit more as you attempted to defend yourself. "What's wrong? Feeling a bit tired?" His voice warped in your ears as you fought the urge to keep your eyes open. "Let's get you home dear," Your eyes finally shut as your father grabbed ahold of your now limp body.

Waking up in your bed, you groaned as the slight hangover caused a pounding pain in your head. You moved to get up only to feel a slight tug on your limbs, halting your movements.

"Huh? Wh-"

Your eyes scanned your form, noticing that all of your limbs were handcuffed to the posts of your bed. "It's a precaution." Your head snapped to the side, where your father was sitting in a chair near the door. His expression, unhappy. You gulped, the false hope that you'd be able to sneak out of your house without getting caught felt so foolish now as his intense gaze practically swallowed you whole. When you'd be unchained, you weren't sure, maybe days or weeks even. But you do know that it'd be better for you if you just do as instructed from here on out. For your fathers punishments were never for the faint of heart.

———

Thanks for reading! Have a great day/night!!

My requests are OPEN so feel free to request anything! Just make sure you check out my SLOTS & Request Info first!

See my DIRECTORY for upcoming fics!

Masterlist

[sensei-venus]

What about some fluff with Anthony??🥺 HES so underrated, but he’s such a shy baby. I feel like Anthony would totally go for a chubby gf because he used to be chubby himself. Like HCs/imagine of them playing video games together and just having a cute night in, stolen kisses here and there, back hugs, cuddle KING, and he totally would let you play with his hair/do his hair in so many different styles because it’s so long 💕💕💕

Can y'all believe this is my first Anthony ask?? Awww! Give me more Anthony😤

Honestly want to just throw some stuff out there.

(Unedited)

Anthony wouldn't know what to do with himself at first with a chubby!gf. He wants to hold her, touch her, kiss her. His brain is mush everytime he even thinks about her. She's so cute, pretty and kind. She's always so nice to him.

His parents let him have a game night with her and he's secretly buzzing ones they say yes.

When she comes over he already has his gaming system set up on his tv. They had been talking about a new game he got all week at school. They sit down and he shows her how to play the game. After a while she gets bored. She moves to sit behind him, abandoning her controller. She scoots behind him and he natural falls back into her, laying between her legs. He goes completely lax and lays down. His head rests between her belly and breasts. She's so soft against him.

He almost doesn't feel the way her fingers thread though his curls. Her fingertips scratch over his scalp in a gental motion, his eyes briefly flicker off the tv screen and up at her. He's never had someone play with his hair like this, not his mom or dad, not even Sam dared to touch his hair like she was. It was quiet for a while, the only sound was the background music from the game that was long forgotten that was still playing on a loop.

His hands moved up her thick thighs, he couldn't help but squeeze a little at the flesh. He moved a little bit back, his head resting on her pillow like breasts.

Her lips where soft against his. They moved over his in slow motion, warm and soft. He sucked on her bottom lip for a moment before she was pressing gentle kisses on his cheeks. She moved over his nose and brows. His eye lids fluttered closed and a smile grew on his lips. His hands locked with hers.

She was his.

[ofmermaidstories]

"You always do this, he thinks bleakly. Why do you always do this? Try to laugh at yourself—you’re not even that funny."

Pleaaase I snorted, scoffed and cackled so hard my roommate woke up (I was reading at like 3 am). Who does he think he is‼️‼️‼️‼️he is such a little shit lmfaooo

It is so in line with his character tho😭 He is so understanding most of the time but when irritated he goes straight to where it hurts!!!! Mineta wouldn't have thought that of me😤

Also I love how you subtly added the freak deku in this lol. He is so possessive ( his his his), protective, to the point where he can't think straight when it comes to reader. Like he has to keep the sketchbook, which he views as an unfiltered representation of our mind with him 24/7... So much is happening around him that we kinda look past the fact that he knows our address, the "bridal white", his jealousy spreads to his friends -his friends!- and that his need to both give us everything and have our everything borders on obsession. .. then again was there ever anything he loved that didn't turn into an obsession? It truly is just in his nature.

Lucky for him that's how I like them.

I was suspicious of his arm bc of the constant mention and I was right!! Sadly

Also

"desperate to press into you everything he’s wanted to say: that he wants you. That you’re perfect. That it’s this he wants, something just like this—his lips against your skin, the sharpness of your gasps."

I see the title drop!!!!!

Sorry long ask I just needed to ramble off here for a sec.

Magnificent writing as always. It's the first time I identify so much with a reader lol "vicious, fragile" yeah......

Thank you for the time you took! I know this one was hard on you and your efforts truly shine through this work!!

LMFAO STOP, you know Mineta would say something heinous like, “Baby you’re the funniest person here, and you know what they say about laughing 😏” (no one ever says anything weird about laughing, he’s just opportunistic!!!)

But you’re right though. 😭 All that pinpointed astuteness of Izuku’s means he could be absolutely devastating in his observations, if he cared to be. 😭

My favourite thing about Izuku in fanon though is how quickly his canon personality can be, like, dangerous LOL. The only thing that tempers it is his natural sweetness, his sheer determination to do good!! Like he is absolutely hyperfixating on Scribbles, and maybe if he didn’t have access to like, idk, government power then maybe it’d be more the harmless sort of limerence we can all tend to experience. But he does, so it’s not, LOL. Idk I’m joking but I’ve gone into these fics (and indeed, just canon on the whole) with a certain sort of expectation that not one of the Hero cast (or villain!) would ever do a relationship normally. The stakes would always be high from the get-go; from the moment they realise they care.

You also hit the nail on the head with this, though—was there ever anything he loved that didn’t turn into a obsession? Because how true is it? All Might, Heroics, Kacchan to an extent (probably not as much as we like to make fun of him for, in fandom, but absolutely enough to make him grateful when their relationship starts to get better). I dunno, I resonate with that because I also get obsessive over things I like (heyooo); it’s easy to see it him, too.

RIP Izuku’s arm. 😔🙏🏽 It’ll be fine. Probably. 😌

And LOL, look, I love a good title drop. 🥹 Especially ones that flow nicely; they’re like a lil reward. 😌

But thank-you; please don’t apologise for length or rambling or saying hello!!! I get anxious with big chapters because I’m always like oh no it’s too much, no-one will like it, i’ve missed something stupid in it, etc etc etc so it’s reassuring when people like yourself pop by. 🥺 Thank-you for your kind words. 🥺🌷📖 I hope can do Reader and Izuku and you some justice with the last chapter. 🥹 Fingers crossed 🤞🏽🌾

[synamartia]

Of course mother nature would decide to hit me when things start to heat up physically 😤

OH WELL. LET'S GO.

Warnings: A NSFW gif was used for a reaction near the end, so please be careful reading my live commentary while in public! 😘

♡ But it did, when Tommy grabbed you by the hair out of your makeup chair and threw you into the wall.

AYE. NO. BAD TOMMY. *spray bottle* BAD. *swats with newspaper* D<

♡ You couldn't react, head ringing after it left a small indent in the drywall. Unlike before, you didn't try to stand. Make him work for his second hit. And he did. Leaning down he yanked you off the ground by your arm and dragged you to your feet.

Oh, shit. Bad Tommy, indeed. 😬

♡ "You're gonna take whatever meetings I make until that money is back." He let go of you and turned to leave but changed his mind. Coming back, he swung his fist and clocked you on the left side of your face.

Welp. This calls for more drastic measures.

OH TOOOOMMMMYYYYYYY~

♡ "I worked really hard for you!" He shouted, jerking his shoulders out from under the hands of the other performers. What was he talking about? You hadn't discussed any of this, asked for any thing from him. "I waited for a high roller for you. Real classy guy. Just wanted a private show! That was it!" He spit, "No, every Tom, Dick, and Harry is welcome now to ask for your time."

WELL SHIT. I KNOW YOU WARNED US AHEAD OF TIME BUT GODDAMN. But srsly, one of the things I love in writing is when an author can make your blood boil as much as your nethers quiver, and HAZEL. FUCKING. DELIVERED. still wanna stab Tommy though

♡ "Alastor." It fell from your mouth like a lead balloon.

Never mind. He's got this. I'mma enjoy the show, though. 🍿

♡ "Are you unhappy to see me, dear? Did I overstep by coming by unannounced?" You hadn't heard him worried before, it pained you.

NEVER, BABY. D':

♡ You sighed, and explained, "Tommy, the manager, he's been shifting tactics for bringing in money because he owes some big bads a lot of debt. Private shows with performers that sometimes get hands on...," his hands stopped moving but his eyes didn't meet yours, "I never asked to be included in it. I wouldn't o it. I was rude to a man Tommy introduced me to and I ran off Saturday. Yada yada. He got me as soon as I got to work."

*offers bat*

♡ "Not about what you need, dear, it's about what he deserves."

PREACH.

♡ You searched his face for some kind of discernible emotion but found none. Those constricted pupils again, an animal staring back at you from behind a pair of glasses. There was no reason to ask him, it was obvious what was going to happen. Did you want to stop it?

*points up* No.

♡ Did you want to see it? Alastor at work?

YES, PLEASE.

♡ "The extra clothes can go anywhere out of sight." He leaned down, kissing your forehead, "I'll see you tomorrow."

T-that's against the rules! Who said you could make my heart flutter like that?!

♡ He paused, one leg already in the car and his back to you, "No. I'm doing it for everyone."

LIAR. YOU CAN'T DEMAND HONESTY AND THEN LIE SO BLATANTLY.

♡ Tommy found you the second you were back in the room, hand pressing too hard on the bruises he left on your arm. "You have a meeting tomorrow after your show. If you don't show up," he yanked you close, putrid breath of dead teeth you'd never been bothered by before this moment and bad booze assaulting your senses, "I will fucking kill you."

Oh, don't worry. We'll be there. now get your ass breath out our faces

♡ Disgust, "Jesus, Skye, I was gone like, 5 minutes." She shrugged. "Why does everyone think - is everyone fucking their daddies* in the side street?" She nodded. "Well, I'm not."

Honey, don't pretend like you wouldn't. You would. You were ready to do it the other night. We all were.

♡ However there was a sense of dread when you lied in bed that night. The excitement of getting closer to Alastor had melted into the fear there was no going back from this.

Babygirl, don't be afraid. I know it's scary because it's foreign, it's the unknown, but trust me. Going back would be worse. just let Alastor show the love he so clearly feels for you in his own little weird homicidal way!

♡ "What's the occasion? Apology dinner?" The woman fidgeted with the hangers while looking at you.

OKAY, THIS. ANYONE IN THIS POSITION OR HAS BEEN THERE, DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR ANYTHING OR TALK TO VICTIMS IN A MANNER THAT SUGGESTS THEY'RE AT FAULT. Also I love that you put this bit in there, the fact that abuse was and still is danced around like it's not a problem. A willingness to discuss dark/taboo topics in any capacity always endears me even more to a story/author. Actually, I'll be covering similar topics like this in later chapters of Haunted, so I'mma just leave it at that for now. Otherwise this is gonna turn into a literal essay. 😂 But seriously, don't.

♡ Taking a second, you got to work. You opened the canvas and slid it under the bed, the smallest bit of edge sticking out for easy retrieval. Dizzy with the quickly settling reality of what you were doing, you sat on the floor for a moment. Trying to calm your breathing, you closed your eyes.

Edit: Reread this react and realized it sounds like I was telling YOU not to do it, and I just wanted to clarify I'm not. It wasn't directed at anyone, just said as like a general rule of thumb, if that makes any sense? I'm so sorry if that's how this came off 🥺

Awh, just some pre-murder jitters. Don't worry, darling, Alastor's got you. 😘

♡ A dry laugh, "Ya know how it is. They gotta act like they don't like it so people still respect 'em."

Ew. Just ew. I'm gonna enjoy what I HOPE is coming next. Also, you didn't answer the question, you POS.

♡ Alastor yanked his head back to look him squarely in his eyes, "Wrong answer." He pushed him down onto his stomach, "Come on Tommy. I like when my victims fight a little, too." Sensing the taller man towering over him with the knife, Tommy scrambled onto his back to look at Alastor. Tommy started shouting, "Hey!! Someone!" But there was no one to hear him. That was the beauty of the space he always brought his dates to; it was too loud to hear anyone scream.

What's the matter, Tommy boy? Can't take what you dish out?

♡ Alastor pushed through, metal sinking into Tommy's throat. No pause, he withdrew and sank it again and again. Tommy's hands fell from Alastor's face, flailing slightly at his neck before slumping down. He was frenzied, stabbing at his chest and upward with wide eyes. You recognized those constricted pupils. They made sense in this setting. Alastor was panting, taking a second to split the skin from ear to ear in the middle of his melee.

And just double checking - the last bit, did you mean he cut Tommy's face? 'Cause that would be AMAZING and just makes this 10x better, and it's a personal headcanon of mine for Al's human life now, too~

♡ Alastor took off his bowtie, then his shirt. It took you a second, not realizing what was happening until he began to unbuckle his belt. "Now?!"

♡ He laughed, embarrassing you a little, "No it isn't that." His face nuzzled into your neck, "You'd go to hell? For me?"

Baby you have no idea what I would do for you. I'm going to hell, anyway, so why not? no more talkie-talk, we've waited long enough

♡ "I'll be sure to fill your afterlife with jazz every day, dear."

♡ His head came to rest on your collarbone with a shaky sigh. Had you said something wrong? "Please, you're already pushing me to my limit."

HNNNGGGHH-- the absolute HUNGER that I have for a needy Alastor, holy shit 😩❤

♡ He removed his underwear, watching you unbutton your dress and pulling your arms free. Your bra, garter, and stockings were still on. Somehow he found it more scandalous than if you were completely naked.

Honestly, same. It just speaks to me, like you were so lost in the moment you couldn't remove all of your clothing? The need was that great? YES. PLEASE.

♡ With a few shallow thrusts, he was fully sunk into you. You may have let out a cry. An emptiness you hadn't clocked was suddenly gone. Was this what Zeus meant when he said the two souled humans were too powerful and tore them apart to weaken them?

AHHHHHH-- LOVE THIS REFERENCE. A++, HAZEL 👌😍

♡ He began to move in earnest, thrusting in and out slowly. You had expected the frantic moves of a horny virgin. Instead he was moving with control, hips rolling into you like waves gentle and steady where the lake met land, not slamming like many men before him.

slfkjslkw-- Hazellllll~ You got me wanting to explore the softer side of sex with Alastorrrr~ I love your euphemisms toooooo~

♡ Languid moves. Swollen cockhead hitting the bottom of your walls, the top, the end, pushing still a little further. "I'm sorry," Alastor leaned down over you, kissing at your jawline, "For making you wait so long for so little." His rhythm picked up then, burying himself deeper into your sopping cunt and dragging out enough to pull back that quiver of his release.

There ain't nothing to apologize for, Al~ Also, don't know if this is the image you were going for, but it's what I saw so--

♡ Alastor kissed at the dark circle under your eye, at the bruise of your cheek, he lifted your arm and kissed gently at the purple and blue spots there too. He had lied, and he wasn't sure why, but maybe he'd find the will to admit it to you someday.

The tenderness of this momeeeennnntttt~ My heart is SO full right now! ❤

I WOULD BE AT LEAST TWO CHAPTERS FURTHER IN BUT MY KIDS, MAN. THEY KEEP INTERRUPTING. Love them still, though~ ❤❤❤ Alright, let's see if we can get into part 4 now that they're asleep for the night 😎

A Doe in Fall (Part 3)

⟢HumanAlastor x FemaleBurlesquerReader - A Doe in Fall

Part 1 - Pretty in Red smut💦 Part 2 - Liar smut💦 Part 3 - A Tragedy smut💦 Part 4 - Enough Part 5 - Too Much Part 6 - Learning smut💦 Part 7 - Recognition smut💦

Part 3 A tragedy 

So enraptured with Alastor, you forgot how you left work on Saturday. Tommy didn’t forget. And he made sure you remembered. Unfortunately for him, and fortunately for you, your paramour made a habit of helping quicken karma’s balancing act.

「warnings/promises: immediate physical assault (let’s be up front about that), allusions to sexual assaults having happened in the past to non-reader characters, HumanAlastor x FemReader, penetrative sex, Protective Alastor, bruises, somewhat graphic descriptions of murder, mentions to coerced prostitution, sex near a corpse (words that have the FBI watching me), stabbing, knife, bad burlesque names, gambling, my own new HC for the Radio Demon’s origins, another deer reference thanks to @n-after-me , chin quivering, Tommy doesn’t know French and it shows, posted early for @jazzmasternot, wrath」

Minors DNI 🤺

You walked into the theatre for rehearsals with a pep in your step, body still humming. It was like the usual adrenaline rush Alastor brought couldn't fade this time.

But it did, when Tommy grabbed you by the hair out of your makeup chair and threw you into the wall. 

You couldn’t react, head ringing after it left a small indent in the drywall. Unlike before, you didn’t try to stand. Make him work for his second hit. And he did. Leaning down he yanked you off the ground by your arm and dragged you to your feet. 

“Do you think you’re funny?” He shook you, you were sure you could feel your brain jostle. It was rhetorical, but you replied anyway.

“No, Tommy.”

“No. Exactly.” He backed you up onto the make up table, head pressed into the mirror. “Mr. Wilson was not happy. He pulled his contribution. I know you don’t have that kind of money. Do you know what you’re gonna do?”

His fingers dug into your cheeks, “No.” You genuinely didn’t. He was talking to you like you had been in the loop on whatever it was he had been doing on the side. All of this was as shocking to you as your actions were, apparently, to him. 

“You’re gonna take whatever meetings I make until that money is back.” He let go of you and turned to leave but changed his mind. Coming back, he swung his fist and clocked you on the left side of your face.

You didn’t see it, but you heard the other girls running and pulling Tommy off of you, yelling and pleading for him to calm down.

“I worked really hard for you!” He shouted, jerking his shoulders out from under the hands of the other performers. What was he talking about? You hadn’t discussed any of this, asked for any thing from him. “I waited for a high roller for you. Real classy guy. Just wanted a private show! That was it!” He spit, “No, every Tom, Dick, and Harry is welcome now to ask for your time.”

You just held your face, unsure if you had the right makeup to hide the bruise before stage call. 

“Well?! Say you’re sorry.”

You considered not saying anything. No response. When you looked at him, you could see the half a dozen other girls staring back at you, just say it. We have to rehearse.

“I’m sorry.” Eyes cast to the floor.

“For what?”

It hurt when you rolled your eyes, “For being ungrateful?” 

He shoulder checked a few girls on the way out. A couple came to you.

“He’s got some gambling debt, he’s just using us to get ahead.”

“I have some stuff to cover that up for tonight.”

“He usually cuts us in.”

Tears stung your eyes, you were angry and humiliated. You could work elsewhere, with a little luck. Take a job at a diner out of the area where no regulars would stir up trouble. Maybe leave until Tommy got his debts paid off or whatever was motivating this recent streak of cruelty. But you didn’t want to run away. No one applauded waitresses. Maybe if you made yourself as unattractive as possible, no one would request you. Dirty your teeth, talk about other men, speak crudely. 

“What exactly was he talking about?” you asked no one in particular. The girls were quiet for a beat.

“Well ya know, private shows for clients who can afford it.” High pitched and nasal, Florence spoke as she searched her make up station.

“That’s it?” Incredulous.

“Sometimes. You know how it is… woman left alone in a room with a man who has too much money or ego or drink. Doesn’t always stop at a dance.” Minnie had much more experience than you, “It isn’t our jobs. It isn’t normal. But, well, ya heard about New York right? They’re trying to make burlesque outright illegal…”

“Gotta enjoy the art while it’s just misunderstood.” Florence wiped down your mirror before setting her supplies down for you. “Come on, let’s get you fixed up.”

By the time patrons began to stream in, you had blood staining the white of your left eye. Nothing you could do, but maybe at a distance it wouldn’t be noticeable. The bruise under your eye from his fist was easy enough to cover. The contusion from where your right cheek hit the wall was a little harder. 

Luckily, the stage offered a buffer of space and the rest of the room was dark. 

During your show, you tried to keep your eyes moving so the red sclera never stayed in one place too long. For the first time, the cheers did nothing for you. You felt your chin quiver, fighting back tears. You wanted to scream, to tell them to hate you and leave. Stop fucking clapping.

Ruth was naturally the first to come to you after your performance, “Want me to do the tour with you? Arm in arm around the hall.”

You took her up on the offer. It lightened the load, her taking charge of the conversation when people approached or bought you drinks. Luckily the bartender always poured the performers weak cocktails and watered down liquor to keep their heads on straight. 

Ruth’s companionship afforded you precious time to plan, to consider how quickly you could find new work or at least a way out of this.

“What a treat. Two for one. Can I buy you both a drink?” 

Ruth turned first to greet the customer, “Ooh yes sir! Gin and tonic, please and thank you. Autumn?” Your stage name drew your attention back to the world, turning finally.

“Alastor.” It fell from your mouth like a lead balloon.

He smiled down at you, his hand offering a little wave, “Hello. Surprise.” 

Your face fell, a frown pulling down your chin. It took you too long to recover, batting your eyelashes and turning the corners of your lips up unnaturally. 

“So you do have a beau!” Ruth slapped your arm, “I’m Skye, Skye Scraper. Pleasure to meet you, Alastor.” She extended her hand, Alastor planting a kiss on the back of it, concealing his smile at the name.

You tried to keep your eyes on the floor, head turned slightly away from him to obscure the neon sign of an eye shouting, ‘Weak!’

Unfortunately for you, Alastor wasn’t an oblivious man. Unless he was dancing or drunk. “May I have a moment alone with her?” Alastor asked Ruth. Ruth looked to you for your okay, and you just nodded. She gave a little nod of her own to Alastor and slinked away. 

“Are you unhappy to see me, dear? Did I overstep by coming by unannounced?” You hadn’t heard him worried before, it pained you. 

“No, no! I am… so happy to see you. I just had a long day.” You scanned the room for the darkest area to bring him. A booth would be best, you could keep him on one side of you. You gestured with a nod of your head.

“Ah, I kept you out too late.” Alastor didn’t move.

“Not at all, come on let’s sit down.” You reached back for his hand without looking at him, but when you pulled he still didn’t move. He remembered the way you pulled at the hand of that man in the alley the first night you met. Desperate to escape somewhere. 

“Is there a reason you won’t look at me?”

Lie. 

“Uh, no, I’m just embarrassed about this heavy stage makeup.” 

Alastor paused, hand slipping from yours to adjust his sleeves. It was a nervous action, an attempt to self soothe, but you didn’t know that. “I should have asked before coming.”

“Alastor, it’s not…,” you kept your eyes down at your hands.

“Then look at me.”

Would he think you were incapable of protecting yourself? His pity would kill you. Perhaps he would decide a second rate burlesquer wasn’t worth making time for anymore.

You could intentionally wound him, say you don’t want to see him so he leaves. But that sword was double edged and you weren’t sure you’d survive that either. You weren’t making it out of this.

You finally looked at him. He leaned in, “What happened to your eye?” A slender finger gently tilting your chin upward.

Lie. 

You thought too long for an answer. Why were you getting worse at lying? It used to be one of your best shields and swords but now you were so slow on the draw you were left defenseless. Vulnerable. His hand took yours, gently pulling you into the lobby and through the glass doors of the theatre.

Under the bright lights of the marquee and the street lamps, Alastor inspected your face. He reached into his pocket for his handkerchief, wetting it in his mouth before wiping the makeup off of your under eye.

“Alastor, people are staring.” 

His eyes fell down, soft hands lifting your arm where a bruise was already formed. You hadn’t noticed that one.

“What happened?” He wasn't looking at you when he said it, instead cautiously wiping the makeup off your cheeks in search of more marks.

“The truth or wh-“

“Always. Never give me anything else.”

You sighed, and explained, “Tommy, the manager, he’s been shifting tactics for bringing in money because he owes some big bads a lot of debt. Private shows with performers that sometimes get hands on…,” his hands stopped moving but his eyes didn’t meet yours, “I never asked to be included in it. I wouldn’t do it. I was rude to a man Tommy introduced me to and I ran off Saturday. Yada Yada. He got me as soon as I got to work.”

Alastor didn’t reply, just turned on his heels and marched back into the theater. You chased after him, “I don’t need you to fight my battles!” You tried to get in front of him but he walked right past you.

“Not about what you need, dear, it's about what he deserves.” 

Alastor asked the bartender for Tommy, who pointed to the short but stocky man talking to a group of guests. Alastor approached so quickly Tommy didn’t have time to greet him, instead just backing up until he fell ass first into a booth. Alastor boxed him in, one hand on the wall and one on the table, towering over Tommy as he sat.

“I hear you sell dancers by the night.”

You paced the lobby nervously. Would you be fired? What would Alastor say? Would Tommy hit him, too?

He re-emerged, “Come to my car, please.” He didn't stop walking as he said it. 

You followed a few blocks down to his car, parked on the street. He opened the passenger door for you and closed it behind you. You wanted to ask if you were going somewhere, but thought better of it. A tight u-turn, he pulled the car into the side street where you’d first met each other.

Wordlessly he got out of the car, you opening your door before he could. Popping the trunk, he set the folded canvas inside a paper bag. Checking first, he placed it inside one of the tin trash cans. 

You stood, waiting for an explanation.

Finally he stopped and made eye contact with you. “You have a date tomorrow, with me. Bring this to the apartment above the theater before Tommy and I arrive.” Opening your mouth to speak, he didn’t stop to let you add anything. “Preferably near the bed.” He closed the trunk, “Wear red, please.”

You searched his face for some kind of discernible emotion but found none. Those constricted pupils again, an animal staring back at you from behind a pair of glasses. There was no reason to ask him, it was obvious what was going to happen. Did you want to stop it? 

Did you want to see it? Alastor at work?

“Okay. On all the points.” You looked back at the trashcan, “Canvas hidden near the bed. Wear red.”

“The extra clothes can go anywhere out of sight.” He leaned down, kissing your forehead, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Your voice cracked a little, “Wait, you’re leaving already?”

He nodded, “I can’t stay here.” Before getting into his car he turned and added, “Don’t cover the bruises tomorrow. He should see them.”

You nodded in return, “Are you doing this for me?” So quiet you almost hoped he didn’t hear it.

He paused, one leg already in the car and his back to you, “No. I’m doing it for everyone.”

You watched his car light up and leave the alley.

It’s not that you felt abandoned, you felt…. Stranded. You had to go back in there, alone, and put on the normal act but under abnormal conditions. 

So it was happening. You hadn’t seen the first time. Just felt it. You didn’t see the second. You were going to actually see a man die. Not just a man, someone you knew. Someone you used to consider a friend of sorts. Before he got into whatever trouble was driving him to act like a flesh peddler. Could you do it? Could you watch a man be killed? Was that even what Alastor had planned?

Tommy found you the second you were back in the room, hand pressing too hard on the bruises he left on your arm. “You have a meeting tomorrow after your show. If you don’t show up,” he yanked you close, putrid breath of dead teeth you’d never been bothered by before this moment and bad booze assaulting your senses, “I will fucking kill you.”

You almost started laughing, bringing your hand to your mouth to hide your smile. “Okay Tommy.” 

Fuck it. He was going to die anyway, might as well make it a date. 

Ruth saddled up beside you as soon as Tommy was out of earshot, “Look at that smile. Quickie in the alley?”

Disgust, “Jesus, Skye, I was gone like, 5 minutes.” She shrugged. “Why does everyone think — is everyone fucking their daddies* in the side street?” She nodded. “Well, I’m not.”

“Prude.” She joshed before linking your arm in hers again, “We’ve got at least another hour of schmoozing. Tits up!”

Your smile came effortlessly that night, a thrum of excitement keeping you light on your feet. Not excitement for death, but for the very concept of being closer to Alastor. Would you see it happen, in front of you? Or would he have you leave? Either way, you were an active participant with a task list.

He trusted you, even if in a small way. Trust was so rarely given from the people who mattered. Men trusted you often; to be sweet when they tell you they were embarrassed about something, to lie when they ask if you orgasmed, to not steal their cash when they blacked out with their pants still on. Pulling it from strangers was one of your greatest pleasures. But it was easy. You were skilled. 

Yet again, like so often now, Alastor was the exception. He didn’t toss himself at your feet. He stood tall in front of you and on his own terms offered you the things you wanted. You didn’t have to pretend to be demure, you didn’t have sit on his lap in silence and nod and laugh. Just yourself, as much as you could allow yourself to exist in the world. No tricks. If his trust was presented wrapped in a bloodied bow, well, you would thank him dearly and wear the ribbon round your neck like a trophy.

Many men spoke to you, but luckily your participation in conversation wasn’t something they really cared about. As they spoke, your eyes were looking past them and into the future. 

However there was a sense of dread when you lied in bed that night. The excitement of getting closer to Alastor had melted into the fear there was no going back from this. 

Something in your chest stung, a thorn growing from somewhere unknown. Three encounters (that he knew of) and already it seemed your thoughts were more Alastor than yourself. No person had ever made such an impression before. You didn’t like it, but it made you happy. Which is why you didn’t like it. Tying your happiness to another person was a reckless thing to do. You’d seen your mother and half sister both use a man’s attention as a replacement for being happy with themselves and it made them brittle and hollow.

Thinking of what would happen the following night, oddly, you were reminded of losing your virginity. You were a “late bloomer” and were terrified you’d never be you again after. Like something would be taken from you. You fell asleep to that thought, of what you’d lose.

Then you woke, uncharacteristically early, feeling none the bit rested. No dreams. No nightmares. A few seconds of darkness and suddenly it was morning. With the extra time you had you wandered into a department store before going to the theater.

When a sales woman approached you, asking what you were looking for, you were too tired lie.

“A red dress.” You didn’t have the makeup at home to cover your marks, and gave up being worried about it. 

Unfortunately, it seemed it wasn’t so odd of a sight; a woman with a black eye.

“What’s the occasion? Apology dinner?” The woman fidgeted with the hangers while looking at you.

You grimaced, “No, a murder.”

She howled, “You are a hoot! Don’t we wish, huh? Let me pull you some options.”

You put the dress on the top of the paper bag, having hidden it under your make up table the previous night. Your fingers were trembling, applying your makeup needing deep breaths and concentration.

“Ruth, can you do my lips?” You turned and handed her the brush. 

“The eye looks better.” She took your chin in her hand and painted your mouth a pretty shade of red.

“Thank you.” You offered her a smile but she didn't let go, “What?”

“You ever seen a cornered raccoon? Like one got in the house and your mom boxed it into a corner with a broom?”

A nod, yes, actually, you had.

“Who’s got the broom?” She asked. You knitted your brow, not understanding. “Who’s got you in a corner? Is it Tommy?”

You took your chin back, deep breaths. “No brooms. No corners. Just rattled still from last night.” Not a lie, surprisingly. “You thought of a raccoon? Really? Is it because of the eye?”

When you took your bow for the evening and turned to escape the stage lights for the darkness of backstage, you found Tommy leaning just outside the dressing room.

“Get changed, doors unlocked upstairs. Room 504.” 

Grabbing the paper bag you ran through your mental checklist. Wear red, take off your make up, hide the canvas by the bed. An odd to-do list for murder.

The theater had two floors of modest apartments above it, the owners keeping two of the open for the theater’s use. One was for the owners should they ever visit New Orleans, and the other was multi use. Storage and a crash pad for performers or Tommy when he worked late.

The bag crinkled as you hugged it, looking over the small apartment. Boxes, decorations, a modest kitchen and a bed. The bathroom was quite large, a tub and shower head. Was this where the other performers went?  

Why hadn’t anyone said anything sooner? Why didn’t anyone leave yet?

Taking a second, you got to work. You opened the canvas and slid it under the bed, the smallest bit of edge sticking out for easy retrieval. Dizzy with the quickly settling reality of what you were doing, you sat on the floor for a moment. Trying to calm your breathing, you closed your eyes.

The fear of the unknown was suffocating you. There was a possibility Alastor failed and ended up hurt. Or, that he changed his mind and Tommy left you two to just hold hands on the bed for a sex-appropriate amount of time.

You patted your thighs and stood up. No time now for a panic attack. Alastor had a change of clothes in the bag, neatly folded and tied in twine. They were set onto the shelf above the closet.

And finally, yourself. Your dress was on and you stopped to wipe the make up off your face in the bathroom mirror. Still bruised, still nasty. The dress was nice though, carrying some of the weight for your battered mug. Red cotton, sailor neck and little gold buttons down the front. Flashy, brighter than the dark number you usually wore.

Would he like it? Most men looked for how a dress accentuated your curves (or hid them) but you had a feeling Alastor didn’t care so much about that.

You took your seat at the edge of the bed, thin mattress sagging from your weight.

The clock ticked, until finally the door opened and you saw something you hadn’t seen before and knew you’d never see again. Tommy and Alastor.

“Here she is. Autumn, this is Mr. Cerf. He's asked I stay in the apartment, apparently word of your attitude already spread among the upperclass.” Tommy wagged his finger at you in a playful way that was entirely out of place.

“Look at her. Pouting. Not very excited, is she?” Alastor smiled at you, softly. You felt for a second that maybe you entirely misunderstood. He looked calm, normal. Even peaceful.

“It’s always nice when they fight a little. But she won’t cause you any trouble.” Tommy patted Alastor’s back, who immediately shirked away.

“Do you like it when women try to fight you off, Tommy?”

A dry laugh, “Ya know how it is. They gotta act like they don’t like it so people still respect ‘em.”

A hum. Alastor’s smile falling entirely. A shadow settled over his face. “I see. That does make things easier.” He slipped on his short black gloves. “I always tell her she looks lovely in red. She rarely listens to me, but I’m happy to see she did tonight. It’s a special occasion.” 

Once, you thought. You didn’t listen once. 

Tommy nervously chuckled, looking from Alastor then to you, “What?” Alastor grabbed him by the back of the neck, pushing him to the ground and onto his knees. Hand fisted in his hair, knife pressing across his throat. 

Alastor dug his knee into the small of Tommy’s back, “Tommy, I think you owe the lady an apology.” You let your feet find the edge of the canvas and slid it out with a kick. It glided across the wood and stopped where his knees met the floor. 

“I’m sorry! Fuck, I’m sorry.” Tommy was staring at the waxed fabric in front of him. 

You felt your eyes sting with tears, a smile breaking out against your will. “For what?”

“I—,” his eyes searched the room for an answer, your words bringing a pulse of Deja Vu, “It’s about yesterday?” He seemed to relax a little, “Come on. I said sorry. ” Looking back to Alastor. “I didn’t know she had a guy.”

Alastor yanked his head back to look him squarely in his eyes, “Wrong answer.” He pushed him down onto his stomach, “Come on Tommy. I like when my victims fight a little, too.” Sensing the taller man towering over him with the knife, Tommy scrambled onto his back to look at Alastor. Tommy started shouting, “Hey!! Someone!” But there was no one to hear him. That was the beauty of the space he always brought his dates to; it was too loud to hear anyone scream. 

Funny how that works both ways.

Alastor shrugged, “Well that didn’t last long.” As Tommy backed up, trying to get traction on the slippery canvas and failing, Alastor straddled him. Tommy’s hands came up, one pushing against Alastor’s face, the other against the arm holding the knife. Alastor put both hands onto the knife’s handle, staring down into Tommy’s eyes as he inched closer to the man’s neck. “You look scared, Tommy. Are you scared?” 

The other man shouted, eyes trembling as he watched the knife come down.

Alastor pushed through, metal sinking into Tommy’s throat. No pause, he withdrew and sank it again and again. Tommy’s hands fell from Alastor’s face, flailing slightly at his neck before slumping down. He was frenzied, stabbing at his chest and upward with wide eyes. You recognized those constricted pupils. They made sense in this setting. Alastor was panting, taking a second to split the skin from ear to ear in the middle of his melee. 

You brought your knees to your chest, watching the crime unfold. Was this anger for you or truly for everyone? No one ever got so angry for you before, if you could be so conceited as to say this was for you. Your mouth opened and you spoke without thinking, no filter. “You look like an angry God. A jazz demon of wrath.” You smiled, the morbidity not lost on you.

Alastor stopped, frozen as he stared at you. For a second, he had forgotten you were there. He was always alone during these hobbies of his. Until recently. You looked like an angel in red and gold. Had he dyed your heavenly robes crimson? Or had you been made that way?

He dropped the knife, peeling his gloves off and stepping over Tommy’s decimated torso before kicking off his shoes.

You scooted back onto the bed and opened your arms, welcoming a strange after-kill cuddle. Your reward.

Alastor took off his bowtie, then his shirt. It took you a second, not realizing what was happening until he began to unbuckle his belt. “Now?!” 

He nodded, “Yeah.”

“What the fuc— okay,” your hands flew to unclasp your stockings and roll down your panties. You mumbled to yourself, “Jesus Christ.”

As he crawled over you, warm gloveless hands tracing along your legs, hips, waist, you looked at up him with your now dilated pupils, “It’s murder? You need murder?”

He laughed, embarrassing you a little, “No it isn’t that.” His face nuzzled into your neck, “You’d go to hell? For me?” 

You froze, you hadn’t really seen it like that.

“You’d damn your eternal soul,” his hips pressed into you, an unfamiliar hardness there that made you gulp, “just to spend time with me?”

How were you so heated over an erection? A dime a dozen, men practically threw them at women who offered them the slightest smile. Yet feeling him so hard against you, something you had been practically praying for, made you weak. A trembling virgin all over again. 

Don’t lie, he always told you to be honest so you decided to try it out even if it made you feel at risk of harm. Your hands slid up and into his hair, gripping gently, enough to elicit a groan from him, “Well I was worried heaven wouldn’t have jazz, so… yeah.” You had to always say something a little in jest, to hide from the vulnerability of honesty, “This seemed like a better option.” The truth was, if you had to state it plainly, you would dive head first into hell in exchange for his smile. To hear his laugh. To feel his breath over your mouth. You were quite sure hell was more your scene, anyway.

“I’ll be sure to fill your afterlife with jazz every day, dear.” 

How could he make hell sound so sweet?

“It’s a deal.” Fingers playing with his hair, basking in the warmth of skin on skin. 

He leaned up, eyes scanning your face as he always seemed to do in these intimate moments. The feeling spreading down his chest was one wholly foreign to him, one he was struggling to put into his own words. You hadn’t run away. You opened your arms for him even still, welcoming your own damnation in exchange for… affection? Attention? Him? The reason didn’t matter, not to Alastor, and not now to his growing need. You didn’t even push him for more than he wanted to give, not yet needled him for details, secrets, sex. Could you really just be there for Alastor? Take him for what he was and what he wasn’t?

His mouth was salivating at the thought you’d give him anything. Reality was, you already had. His finger caressed the purple welt on your cheek. You were given pain and he returned it ten fold to its owner. A demon of wrath. He felt his cock twitching, underwear tented around him. 

You smiled up at him, wiping a little streak of blood from his jawline, “You look quite pretty in red yourself.”

His head came to rest on your collarbone with a shaky sigh.

Had you said something wrong? 

“Please, you’re already pushing me to my limit.”

Making a show of it, you zipped your mouth and pretended to toss the key. You wanted to reach down and pull off his remaining bit of clothing, to rub yourself against his manhood. But, you weren’t sure if that was something he would appreciate. You didn’t want to ruin his experience, to make him regret offering you something he so clearly didn’t need to give.

He removed his underwear, watching you unbutton your dress and pulling your arms free. Your bra, garter, and stockings were still on. Somehow he found it more scandalous than if you were completely naked.

Your breath was shaking, uneven as the excitement took control of you. There was a not totally unfounded fear you'd black out from hyperventilating.

Alastor lined himself up with your heat and pressed in, making a hard to decipher face as his brow knit up and he bit his lip. You were already so wet, not a hand or mouth needed from him. He wondered if you shared more than an acceptance of justified homicide; your body so relaxed and welcoming to him. 

With a few shallow thrusts, he was fully sunk into you. You may have let out a cry. An emptiness you hadn’t clocked was suddenly gone. Was this what Zeus meant when he said the two souled humans were too powerful and tore them apart to weaken them? 

Was this sex, or love? The word made you nervous. But—- if he offered it to you in both palms, you’d suffocate yourself in his hands.

He began to move in earnest, thrusting in and out slowly. You had expected the frantic moves of a horny virgin. Instead he was moving with control, hips rolling into you like waves gentle and steady where the lake met land, not slamming like many men before him. 

Had it been any other dick, you’d whine and begin moving yourself against it for that needed speed. This was Alastor. Dripping pleasure into your open mouth like a drought-breaking summer shower.

You didn’t recognize your own sounds, already panting and moaning as a warmth spread from the place where his cock was sliding around inside you.

Alastor tried to keep calm. Even when his body was sensitive, he wasn’t used to the mental work needed to fight off his orgasm. Usually he had the opposite issue, struggling to stay focused enough to finish. Mind wandering to more productive chores. 

But you were so wet, so accepting in body and mind. He watched your eyes close, one hand gently clawing at the blankets, the other reaching down to touch his lower stomach every time he thrust back in. For the first time in a very long time you really truly wanted to remember who was at the other end of the dick you were enjoying.

Languid moves. Swollen cockhead hitting the bottom of your walls, the top, the end, pushing still a little further.

“I’m sorry,” Alastor leaned down over you, kissing at your jawline, “For making you wait so long for so little.”

His rhythm picked up then, burying himself deeper into your sopping cunt and dragging out enough to pull back that quiver of his release.

You shook your head, lips tingling. “Nothing little here.”

He attempted a laugh, losing his breath. He wanted to last longer, to make the experience worth your while but he could feel you dripping down his balls and it weakened him with alarming efficiency. Finally the frenzied speed you witnessed earlier was turned to you, you brought your legs up, holding at his sides. “Darling I need to-,” he moaned into your ear.

“Please stay.” You clung to his neck, nails grazing at his shoulders.

Alastor’s voice was soft and sweet, a small moan and a gentle grunt. His legs spread more, trying to get every centimeter of himself into you. Hips now grinding in a small circle, but not losing any of the comfort of your warmth. You felt him still pumping that welcomed heat into you, and you tightened around him, drawing out your own moan. He hissed, “Sensitive.” Your legs were shaking like leaves in a storm, no orgasm but the pleasure nonetheless intoxicating.

The front of your brain felt like static, perhaps from the lack of oxygen as you had uncharacteristically lost your breath under Alastor. 

Like losing your virginity, after the fear faded and you were able to find a moment for introspection, you found yourself larger than before. The edges of your canvas expanded out, new parts of yourself unfurling for you to explore. Nothing had been lost, only gained.

Alastor kissed at the dark circle under your eye, at the bruise of your cheek, he lifted your arm and kissed gently at the purple and blue spots there too. He had lied, and he wasn’t sure why, but maybe he’d find the will to admit it to you someday.

He had left yesterday to keep from strangling Tommy in the center of the theater, finding himself in a rage. He rarely felt anger. His killings always about retribution, about karma, about righting the scales. He needed to leave to keep from losing his composure.

He lied to you in the alley, unable to look you in the eye when he did it for fear you’d see it. You always seemed to see him with a clarity others didn’t despite such a short time together. He struggled to hide from you and it was as exciting as it was frightening. A testament to your similarities.

He hadn’t done it for everyone. No. His personal moral code fell to pieces when he saw your bloodied eye and bruised skin. He would have killed Tommy even if he had been a good man, even if you’d been the instigator. None of his murderous rules mattered. And it scared him. 

(Next Part Next Week, orz)

*slang for boyfriend, often a rich one

༻Masterlist༺

∰ Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult (general tag list):

@cxrsedwxrlds , @nonetheartist , @tsunaki , @janchei , @wettiny-in-smutland , @moonmark98 , @hoebihoeshi , @pansexual-opera-house , @polytheatrix , @lorddiabigmommymilkers , @backinthefkingbuildingagain , @harley2223-blog , @coffee-colored-hopeless-romantic , @poinappel , @midnightnoiserose , @spookieroz , @missmidorima , @ivebeenthearchersstuff , @downbadforfictionalppl , @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx , @sleepylittledemon , @aether-th3-enby , @dontfuckbutimfab , @breathlessaura , @aperfectidiot , @certainlygay , @jth12 , @star-kujo-platinum ,

@ivebeenthearchersstuffn, @rubyninja1 , @simphornies , @alleystore , @readergirlstuff , @berry-demon , @chirimeimei , @fairyv-ice , @olive-frog , @thonethatflies620 , @tiredkiwiii , @ilikemyteawithmilk , @whateverlololo , @psipies , @howabouticallyou , @roxxie-wolf , @ive-no-idea-what-to-call-this , @fizzled-phoenix , @fjorjestertealeaf , @phobophobular , @surusurusuru , @mariaclarade-la-cruz1 , @whateverlololo , @simplyonehellofanotaku , @xixflower , @i-am-nonbinary-bean-deal-with-it , @roxxie-wolf , @a-case-of-attachment , @multifandomfanatic02 , @watereddownmilk , @raynerrold , @crazii-saber-wolf , @valkyrie-expeditions , @bontensbabygirl , @sillyb0nez , @oo0lady-mad0oo , @jazzmasternot , @pseudobun , @fraugwinska✨, @alitaar , @straows , @alastorssimp , @angelicwillows , @b-o-n-e-daddy , @one-and-only-tay /

🏹Alastor stalkers: @celestial-vomit , @amurtan ,@valkyrie-expeditions

[eemamminy-art]

🕯️🎲🍄☁️ for the writer's ask meme!

🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?

Huhhhhh it think it depends on the kind of editing I'm doing? A lot of my "editing" is just like a second or third draft! Other times it's me banging my head against the keyboard trying to make the words sound prettier or more meaningful (editing my one shots lol), or it's just me reading over my final draft again after not looking at it for a few days/weeks and changing a couple of words to sound more natural. I guess overall it can range from 5 to 8 out of 10 haha. Sometimes it's really nice and rewarding and other times I'm miserable and feeling super self conscious the entire time.

🎲 ⇢ what stops you from writing more in your free time?

Not enough hours in the day 😤 Also sometimes writing makes me sleepy, or I just can't focus. My writing tends to come in bursts of inspiration and then I go back to edit it and fluff it up more another day when I'm feeling more focused and had time to think it over more.

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

Here's a fordolyse one: Lyse always goes to Fordola to ramble about her day and all the things going on with regards to the alliance, Ala Mhigo's rebuild, or just anything. She started doing it initially to keep Fordola company when she was still in confinement and just talked about whatever to fill the silence, but now it's become something they both really look forward to. And now that Fordola has made strives in her rehabilitation, the rambling is usually done over dinner or while sitting on the rooftop watching the stars. :3

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?

I'm sure I've told this story before but I was dating someone at the time (this was in 2012) who was really judgmental and toxic and she hated tumblr lol but I wanted to make a new one (I had had several blogs before that I deleted) so I wanted to pick a username that was completely removed from any other handle I'd ever used before so that I could hide the account from her. I was really obsessed with this one ytp from deus ex at the time.. 😂 extremely deep cut I know. So yeah eemamminy was just a little gibberish phrase in the video. I wish I had a different handle but I kind of feel like it's a little late now so I'm like okay I guess that's me now forever haha

Writers truth and dare ask game

[waitingformyfavoritesongs]

1:32 am pdt 28 Jan u ary 2023 Saturday 🪐

The neighbor is playing music 🎼 loud again it’s got a booming loud bass speaker 🔊 it’s providing very dramatic 🎭 background sound as if I were in a thriller movie 🎥 like Jurassic park. 1:36 am pdt I had very strong painful cramps when I woke up after midnight 🕛. More diarrhea. Mom gave me medicine from the hospital 🏥 but it feels a little painful to drink. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ if it’s the medicine or the incubus. 1:38 am pdt I drank it b4 midnight 🕛 b4 falling asleep 😴 I think 🤔 getting difficult 😞 2 remember. Need to write ✍️ it down next time. But I probably won’t take it again. 1:39 am pdt

tired. And hot flash. Exhaling hot 🥵 air. Nothing feels hot 🥵 on the surface. It might be inside closer to the lungs 🫁. 😞😖😭😫 ow my left ear 👂. Incubus wants me paranoid about the music. It’s more distant sounding this time than all the previous times. 1:42 am pdt maybe 🤔 the guy has a car 🚗 now and took it to his car 🚗???? 1:43 am pdt idk 🤷🏻‍♀️.

1:45 am pdt when I went to toilet 🚽 several minutes ago I saw 👀 something that looked like a vitamin I took b4 falling asleep 😴. 1:47 am pdt

1:47 am pdt I I saw 👀 in auto correct devil seven . Did not notice what was in the first square. Feels like he’s calling me those. 1:50 am pdt

29 Jan u ary 2023 Sunday ☀️ 12:12 pm pdt

HOT 🥵. My family doesn’t want me around. I have been too much trouble 4 them I guess all these years. From being too afraid 2 get a job when I was 16 years old and chatting online... and when I was 9 years old? I wasn’t understanding of my mom using my birthday 🎂 money from my grandparents to buy a microwave which I complained 2 my dad and it seemed 2 open a can of worms 🪱 I guess with my dad. I think 🤔 he might have used it as a reason 2 take my mom 2 court. I don’t know how that makes any sense to him 2 do that in retrospect. Maybe 🤔 my mom made more money 💰 than she let on and did not need 2 spend my birthday money 💰 (butt cheeks flesh PAIN 😖😭😖😭😤🥵😤🥵) I felt guilty about that for years. When my sister was in middle school 🏫 and I was in high school 🏫 my mom told her 2 ask me 4 money 💰 2 buy yearbooks. I think I took it from my own money 💰 I saved from dad. Usually dad gave equally to both of us? I think? So she could have easily bought it herself if she saved it. She went out with friends a lot and I usually stayed home 🏠. 12:21 pm pdt so she probably spent it then. From 2011- almost end of 2012 I didn’t go out often 4 fun. I had little time outside. 12:27 pm pdt my aunt is acting crazy to me for barricading the door 🚪 to make it more difficult for incubus to come in. She’s telling me I’m powerful and stubborn and telling me to pay the rent. I couldn’t breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️ since 2019 but everyone ignored me. I was crawling on the floor when I had difficulty breathing in 2019/2020. She’s behaving like this after I confided in her about Scott. Same thing happened when I confided in my cousin. They both turned against me. 12:31 pm pdt

12:34 pm pdt my friend double checked her messages to Jane page Herman. It looks like Jane didn’t feel comfortable answering any questions and blocked her. It looks like incubus tormented Jane, too. 12:35 pm pdt

12:41 pm pdt incubus tore down my bones 🦴 a lot. My body looks very unattractive and absurd. I once thought 💭 I was falling in love with a former classmate who found me on MySpace. We hung out with out becoming physically intimate. He allowed me to take photos of him for a class project on Halloween 🎃. We went out a few times to eat. There was a moment I was ridiculously? Happy. I question now if it was natural. But he is a really nice guy. He feels like a safe person. And sometimes I wonder 💭 if I had committed to him if I would be happy now. When I decided to stop 🛑 seeing him I felt love 💕 sick in bed 🛌. 12:48 pm pdt oh I felt pain and difficulty breathing my thoughts 💭 lost the train 🚂. I asked once both mom and sister if I should marry him when he was in his way to pick me up 🆙 to go out to eat. I don’t remember him saying if it was a date and I didn’t say it was a date, but after I asked that, he arrived wearing a tie. 12:51 pm pdt shamefully, I didn’t think I could commit bcz I wasn’t attracted to him the way he was, but it didn’t stop 🛑 me from hanging out with him. I like having platonic? Friendships with guys - nice, fun guys; and if I wasn’t very attracted to them it made it easier to hang out with them for clean fun bcz of my curses. I once played drums 🪘 with drummers and I got a good beat going and we played together. When I was 11 years old and got kicked out of a bedroom for the way I played with Barbie dolls (I took something I should not have) I was kindly told to play video games with the stepbrother, and I think that was probably more fun than the Barbie dolls, and I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ if he was pretending to have fun with me, but he begged me to play video games more. 12:58 pm pdt my ex and I watched anime together in his bedroom a lot, bcz it was what he wanted to do 😅 and then 2015 I was hooked on inuyasha, and after the breakup I marathon watched sailor moon 🌙 he gave me while I waited out my bleeding 🩸 nose 👃 that easily broke open every day that summer. 1 pm I have a lot of cramps diarrhea pain ever since she unbarricaded that door and I haven’t rebarricaded it. 1:01 pm pdt the incubus makes me hotter 🥵 than I ever been in my life. I don’t think it’s necessary to make me this hot 🥵 I feel like I’m going to die from the heat. I’ve been living in hot apartments all my life. Rarely I use air conditioning yet my mom gave my sister money 💰 to buy an air conditioner but she won’t buy one for us. 1:03 pm pdt

1:04 pm pdt 1:07 pm pdt heart pain incubus has intentions to kill me. I noticed yesterday my right eye looks a little dark as if it’s been bruised. What it is though is he’s been scratching the inside, the white part. 1:10 pm pdt I think he’s giving me the run around and the ring of fire. It burns burns burns the ring of fire the ring of fire 🎶🎼🎵🎤 1:11 pm pdt

Bcz I was shy and probably bcz of chronic eczema and a lot of head trauma, it was difficult for me 2 interact with a lot of people. Usually i got a little more comfortable with specific types of people but I won’t say what types here. From ≈2010 I relied more and more on my mom. She didn’t like me relying on her. When we visited my sister in New York after she had the baby, my mom told me to go out by myself to find more food. And when we were out together sometimes she was stingy even though it was my money. At the airport I wanted more than 1 slice of pizza, but she wouldn’t ask 4 me for more than 1 slice. And then I let her have the chair at the table and then people ran to me to give me chairs. I typed this in (chest getting hot exhaling HOT air 1:19 pm pdt). I don’t know why everyone was being mean to me including incubus. 1:20 pm pdt my eczema (and probably my head trauma ) made living in my body feel like a torture chamber I could never escape. 1:21 pm pdt 1:22 pm pdt. I remember once we shared a large? Pizza with my cousin when she was 9 years old. She wanted 2 eat half of it by herself. I told her she had to share and that I wanted a slice of the other toppings and she could have a slice of the other topping combination. She didn’t want it bcz it was vegetarian? And claimed she got diarrhea from eating vegetables. I think bcz of this I suggested that her dad take her to dinner b4 bringing her to our place. After that happened she bragged she ate a whole big pizza by herself. It probably wasn’t long after this? That she punched me very strongly in the head and my performance capabilities started 2 decline at work. 1:27 pm pdt

1:30 pm pdt when I was about 4 years old I borrowed a girl’s (neighbor) Barbie doll clothing without asking. But always had the intentions of returning all the clothing and I did. She noticed probably but didn’t like it probably bcz I didn’t ask and stopped playing with me. 1:32 pm pdt

1:37 pm pdt I started watching sailor moon when I was in middle school grade 7. I try to learn how to use the vcr to record it so I don’t miss it. 1:38 pm pdt heart pains 1:39 pm pdt

1:40 pm pdt on the phone after we were home from our trip to New York I told my sis I lost a l lot of weight during our visitation there. She tells me maybe I wasn’t a walking enough b4, and when she’s telling this to me she sounds like she hates me. I probably wasn’t friendly enough to her during the trip but it was bcz probably mostly that I had a lot of shame and guilt about past stufff and was trying to distance myself from her to keep myself out of trouble, so I don’t accidentally do something or so people cannot blame me for future bad stuff. But b4 she got married? (Brain/skull pain 1:44) they visited us at my apartment and she’s extremely distant to me and avoids talking to me and being alone with me and I don’t know why. 1:46 pm pdt(she came for a friend’s dads funeral 1:51 pm pdt) incubus makes every one distant and mean to me? 1:46 pm pdt she had her kids after she got married. It’s ironic she told me I don’t walk enough, when I wore myself extremely thin that trip and did 3 seasons of running sports. Diarrhea cramps. 1:48 pm pdt

1:52 pm pdt I guess I’m too selfish and I suck. No one likes me. Incubus hates me. I feel it on the inside that I’m wicked and selfish. I feel I emit bad vibes like Elsa in frozen. mom’s best friend for Christmas 2002? I think she gave an Elsa photo frame with pink roses painted on. Rise rising risen rose 🌹🥀🏵 I’m probably going to lose my hips and pelvis bone now. Incubus is giving me a lot of diarrhea cramps painful for the past 2 hours that’s been going fast. 1:57 pm pdt

2:01 pm pdt one evening I stayed at work extra hours in the evening to get work done, and everyone else was going out for dinner. She decided to come into the office and meets my boss. She acts as if she’s disappointed that I’m not going out to dinner with them even though she seems 2 disrespect me and avoided me beforehand. 2:03 pm pdt there are times we talked on the phone and she would say she will talk to me more next time. Next time she’s on the phone she doesn’t seem to ask to talk to me. I don’t know if it’s my blunder. (Sometimes we have a nice time talking. I don’t remember if I was trying too hard like I usually do 2:08 pm pdt) 2:05 pm pdt there’s something I was. Going to type but cannot remember again. This happens all the time. 2:06 pm pdt I don’t think they are going to let me remember it this time. 2:06 pm pdt oh I remember now. 2:09 pm pdt about adnan. I think I didn’t learn until after my wrist was broken that my sister actually had a crush on him. I met adnan first I think bcz he was in my class. They combined 2nd and third grades into one class. He was 2nd grade and I was third. I remember he was in my group after I came back to school from having the chicken pox. 2:11 pm pdt they let me name our group when I returned. 2:12 pmpdt incubus is trying to trick me again. Too much is going on with my body to believe anything he promises is anything good for me. Bcz he keeps saying marriage, wedding, rings, but all I get is flamed until I feel like I’m dying. No thanks incubus, no false promises necessary 2:14 pm pdt my sister had said one thing to adnan that made him angry that I never said. And she innocently told me later that she was like “ I like playing with you, too” to adnan, and even though I no longer had a class with adnan after that year and completely forgot about him the following year, she blamed me that they couldn’t be together. I guess she didn’t care that he broke my wrist and likes someone who might become a future wife beater. 2:18 pm pdt she was able to see him while I was stuck inside with chickenpox. She gave him my drawing. I did make her promise though to not date anyone my age or older than me at that time. But we were too young to be dating? I don’t really remember keeping her from him, or him from her. She dated a guy 11 years older than her that she met days b4 turning 18 years old. She has a lot of power. My mom empowered her probably for along time. 2:22 pm pdt there were times she locked me out of the bedroom and my mom allowed it. When we moved to blossom hill I remember allowing her decorate the bedroom however she wanted to. She did sleep on the top bunk. Maybe she didn’t like that... it’s hard being in a weird divorced family. It’s weird bcz I think when we were kids we maybe used to argue about who would get the top bunk (2:57 pm pdt b4 we ever got a bunk bed ? Hypothetically? we talked in case we would get one?? 2:58 pm pdt) but I got the bottom bunk with the fold out futon. It actually wasn’t good for my back it was all bumpy. 2:27 pm pdt but I used that bed for many years. From 2000? To end of 2014? No it was ≈ 2012/2013. I think I easily forgot about that. 2:29 pm pdt my sister almost caught up to me in height when she was 6th grade. 2:30 pm pdt I gave my nice twin mattress to my friend. 2:31 pm pdt

3:02 pm pdt still cannot breathe. Coughed. Pain skull right front bone skull😖😭😖😭 I never punched anyone that I can recall but god incubus likes to get me punched in the head and ram my head into dense hard objects that are stainless steel? And dense wood? And it makes me pass out or almost pass out, and for years I feel like putting my head on people’s shoulders. I remember when my parents were still together once, when I’m probably 6 years old, my sister says she’s done with eating dinner and she said it sweetly. Yet she didn’t eat vegetables. I don’t want to eat vegetables either. She then says she wants ice cream and my dad gives it to her. I say I want ice cream, too, but he tells me to eat the vegetables. 3:08 pm pdt I screamed for the ice cream. 3:08 pm pdt

3:11 pm pdt I remember finding drawings my sister did that illustrated our mom was dying of debt. I’m trying to recall if I added to that grief. Shortly after those drawings she transferred to New York to go to an expensive art college on loans, and maybe a partial scholarship? I don’t recall it covering everything bcz I remember the loan payments were complained about and I think I remember a big number for the loans. I would have stayed at the coummunity college longer to figure out what I wanted to do but the grants were coming to an end. I did federal work study and was still very shy. When I applied to transfer to a 4 year I remember one of the teachers thought I would not be accepted at one of the colleges. Maybe bcz it’s really hard to get in, but I don’t recall. For some reason I felt probably a little pain? From the comment? Maybe he didn’t mean it that way. Maybe he didn’t intend for it to hurt. 3:20 pm pdt

============= going back to thinking about the twin who I felt unwelcomed by, I dont know if (heart pain) he intended to make me feel that way, or if he has an anxiety introversion problem. 3:22 pm pdt

=============

maybe the incubus did not like that I ate a lot of cookies or pizza when I was in middle school and high school. But my sister caught up to me and surpassed me in height anyway. I thought I remember not eating much 4 breakfast and lunch for years and so I sometimes was a little greedy around cookies and pizza. I don’t know if it was pure greed at this point bcz it was long time ago or if it was an addiction problem. There were a few times I didn’t pay someone in middle school back 4 ice cream. She was smaller than me and I don’t know what her financial situation was back then. In 8th grade ? I tried to help her on a drawing. She won the school’s mascot drawing competition and she took oil painting classes for her 8th grade project. I remember I made a lot of social mistakes. A lot of bad choices like that that probably made people not like me. 3:30 pm pdt in 2010 I thought about sending her a gift card but procrastinated on it. 3:31 pm pdt I remember I earned a lot of credit card rewards but it 99% expired b4 I thought about redeeming on one card. 3:33 pm pdt I still don’t know if I deserved all those head traumas though. In second grade I shared colored pencils and markers with the whole class. I don’t know if that’s who I really am. And even though I was jealous Of my sister I don’t really recall being very mean to her. We played Barbie dolls and video games and watched cartoons together? And we had to be well behaved while our mom slept b4 her work at the grocery store. I wasn’t perfect but I didn’t kill my sister. And I don’t remember hurting her? We shared a bedroom for @ least 18 years and she seemed to be idk maybe thriving? 3:39 pm pdt 3:41 pm pdt

9:42 pm pdt woke up to very bad acid burning feeling pain cramps in pelvis area. I don’t think me hitting her with a very thin Barbie cardboard box counts especially since she started crying b4 the box made impact. The box was about a foot above her head when she started crying. 9:45 pm pdt I am as probably still 8 years old. Wrote about it in an earlier post. 9:45 pm pdt

the incubus gas lights a lot = faking out. If you’re a real avid maroon 5/Adam Levine fan you will know what I’m talking about and why I say this. 9:47 pm pdt I’m so afraid of him wiping the memories of everyone of the things he’s lying of now. He already covered up his dove tattoo (9:48 urge toilet) which I read he got 6 days after 9/11/2001 bcz he was in New York when it happened. He was supposed to be going to classes in five towns college. I think he enrolled bcz it would be easy for him to earn credits. Why? Idk. 9:50 pm pdt

10:10 pm pdt I watched an interview that he took a cross country trip to get to Long Island New York. It might be true but I think he’s omitted something very important that I read probably 5+ years ago that he went with Jane Herman originally to New York because she was going to go to school there. Whether the oberlin stop over was true or not, prior to that I believe he probably went with her and chose to omit it? 10:13 pm pdt my friend tried asking questions to re-confirm what we read 5* years ago bcz we didn’t save the article and cannot find it anymore. If Jane page Herman is reading this, please know it appears you blocked my friend and left her questions unanswered. 10:16 pm pdt

10:24 pm pdt (pain right thigh bone? Flesh? 😖😭🥵😤🥵😤 near joint. Bleeding 🩸) 10:26 pm pdt on Friendster Brendan had girl friends I think I remember a Carly, collette, and a petite red head Katie who I think he wrote to saying she had moved like mj (probably Michael Jordan?) I think 🤔 I remember Carly put Brendan is a PIMP. Collete seemed to have a past affection (affectionate 11:08 pm pdt ) relationship? With him but they are still friends? Katie looks like she’s unrequited love 💕. 10:29 pm pdt a pimp, huh 🤔? 10:30 pm pdt on spokeo it showed that he lived at least once with a heather. And there might have been a Ryan?? I am trying to recall heather’s astrological sign 🪧. 10:32 pm pdt

11:08 pm pdt when I was 8/9 years old I thought 💭 I got diarrhea from Raisin Bran cereal 🥣 after I tried it again at my dad’s. It took a few days for me to think 🤔 this, but I also observed my dad ate the same cereal 🥣 straight out of the box 📦 with his hands 🙌 in the box 📦 but I didn’t make that connection until years later I think 🤔 about the hands 🙌 to the foods. And now it (brain stabbing pain 😖😭😤🥵😤🥵) it doesn’t matter anymore. 11:13 pm pdt

[iamnotsza]

Things to leave in 2022

#1. ADULT EDGES

Edges should never be that close to you eyebrows. 5. 6. 7..8 inches long?! As a society we should not let trends this exaggerated hinder the growth of the future generations and that on perdiot

#2. TEA CHANNELS

Now don't get me wrong I love watching lovelyti and the empressive channel when there's something major going on and I feel like sipping tea, but haven't you noticed that the tea channel do the same exactly thing over and over again? Why does no one know who our current president, but they won't hesitate to list everyone conspiracy in the current megan and tory case? Growing up is understanding that there are more pressing matters that may lead to war and and social inequality in the world than how slutty this celebrity dressed up for the red carpet.

#3. TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS

Stop making stupid people famous! 😤

Toxic relationships cause feelings of low self-worth, helplessness, fear, anxiety, depression, insecurity, paranoia, and even narcissism. Toxic relationships are dangerous to your health; they will literally kill you. Stress shortens your lifespan. So, for the sake of our mental health, at the very least attempt to do better in the selection of a life long partner. In fact, before getting in a relationship with someone ask yourself how long you'll last. If the answer is not till death, your single.

#4. NEON WIGS

Gurl. Why are you trying to outglow the sun? You face is already blinding enough. Idk if people are trying to go against the laws of naturally appealing hair colors or if their just bored but what about this is flattering?🤔

BTW all stiff, cheap, and unplukked wigs are already canceled I'm just trying to add the horrendous trend to the gutters.

#5. THICK SUNGLASSES 😎

There's no reason why these glasses have more personality than you.. a lot of yall are overdoing it and it needs to go.

Idk how people go out with these and think they look cool. Like cyborg? Is that you?

#6. BBLs

I dont think I need to explain myself, let these pictures talk.

We're humans not ants nor gorilla. I scared to see what the next creature we will try to imitate will be.

What are your opinions on the current trends, send me a message!

[whatever-lmaoo]

Okay so I had to come out of tags for this one and I apologize for how long it is🥹💖

#“But I’m not good enough for you, Bucky, am I?” We just started and you’re already playing with my heart😭😣

#“kindly fuck off” me personally I would’ve excluded the kindly part🙅🏾‍♀️

#“He hardly looked at you.” Nuh uh if we’re breaking up at least have the balls to look me in the eye🙁

#“Your world didn't fall to pieces. Instead, you floated slowly in the air. Bucky remained on the ground as you drifted away, just out of reach when you tried to touch him. That was when you felt the first crack in the foundation.”

“A slow destruction with the man you love at the root.” MS.NAVY 🙉 you and literature are like soulmates with the way you create such beautiful phrases🥹

#“Are you asking me to choose between you and my family?” Stop it right now😭 it shouldve been us against the world, like who are you in a relationship with???me or your father🙅🏾‍♀️

#“…he said dismissively, jerking his hand away so quickly you almost fell forward.” I can’t lie to you girlie…he’s really pissing me off😭 and I know it’s probably to show the wall he’s built to keep from giving in, but apart of me wants to be like …get out😐

#“Why isn't he fighting for me? For us?” THIS!!!! Like WTF if you’re not going to fight for me then what was the point of getting involved with me🙉

#I can’t take the emotionless attitude 😣😣😣 like be sad or angry or happy even but don’t act like our relationship was a spec of dust that you flick off😞

#“You could take rage or sorrow, but not his indifference.” Omg we are literally the same🤧 I promise I’m writing as I go😂

#“…but the bitterness crept in as more tears fell.” We’re allowed to feel bitter girlie🥹😤

#“You were crashing down, the shards of his words piercing you so deep you weren't sure you'd ever get them out.” Imma have to come up with a system for every time you prove my point about being a literary genius 🥹😍

#“Get out. Get out!…” THE WAY I JUST YELLED YESS, he doesn’t deserve to see us breakdown😤

#“Love is sealed by a kiss, but he broke it with his words.” THE GASP I LET OUT, LIKE OMG YOU ARE TOO GOOD 😍🙉 A NATURAL POET!!💖💗

#I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned this but I love your little italicized thoughts, and I feel like they add a glimpse of you in the story if that makes sense 🥹 if someone were to put one of your unreleased fics on a document amongst other stories and we have to guess who wrote it I would totally go “without a doubt that is Ms.Navy’s because her thoughts are one of a kind😌”

#“Maybe in another life, we could have had our happy ending, Bucky.” You’re gonna make me cry and i don’t like crying 😞

#“Maybe you were a phoenix, burnt only to rise from the ashes anew.” You already know why i brought this up😂 although I’ll try to refrain from mentioning all of them so this wont be too long🤧

#“…James plans to take you as a mistress.” I had to read this twice🙉 whatever you do, do not demote yourself to being someone’s mistress🙅🏾‍♀️😤

#This is probably a terrible thought but I hope George has a bounty on his head😍

#“And when you go to Hell, I hope you aren't burned by the flames. I hope you drown in the tears of everyone you ever wronged. And when you ask for their help to save you, they'll watch you sink to the bottom. Your son included.” GIRL BOSS, I AM SO PROUD, THIS COMEBACK IS GOD TIER🙉

#There’s nothing I hate more than a man who hits women 😡 would’ve lost my job as his guard if I were one of them

#“I hope your neck breaks from looking down on me.” I love us, don’t take bullshit from nobody 🙅🏾‍♀️

#“You wished you felt numb as you looked at him. This was the man who once told you he'd burn the world if anything ever happened to you. The fire within him was long snuffed out and he took the warmth with him. You were tired of feeling cold.” I know what I said previously but this just had to be brought to light🙉

#Help he’s still pissing me off😭 I hate when they wait till the last minute. When they tear your heart into pieces and watch you crumble from the inside out, just to come back and say they regret their decision and act like you’re supposed to bounce back up into their arms like some inflatable😤 I know that’s not Bucky but still😭

#“Perhaps you had in his heart, a claim that no one else could see but one you both felt.” Againnnnn, it’s too good my heart can’t take it🥹

#“Why is everyone being so cryptic and not saying what they need to?” LITERALLY, I just want some real answers, like is that too much to ask for😭

#“Bucky was a prisoner in his own life.” Stoppp I literally can’t cuz now I feel bad for ever being mad at him😞

#OMG OMG OMG IS THIS REAL

#“I object,” Bucky spoke.

A small smile appeared on Sophia's face as people around you gasped. “As do I,” she said, handing her bouquet to her maid of honor.

TALK ABOUT A PLOT TWIST🙉 I was not read for that, I feel like I’m suffering from whiplash rn

#STOPPP I LOVE PROTECTIVE STEVE🥺

#This just keeps getting crazier and crazier, Bucky boo I apologize for all the things I said about you😣🥺

#“I should've cut out your tongue for suggesting it.” I think he still should but that’s just my opinion 😗

#“You could've told her something! 'I broke her heart to protect her' bullshit,” At least someone gets it😭 I understand doing what you think is best but I feel like a lot of heartbreak could’ve been avoided if someone had told us even the tiniest bit of information, like a note or something 😭🙉

#“I hope we can become friends, if only to piss him off.” Would be the best of friends

#“Our place sounds like a dream come true.” Eeeeeee😍🥹🥰

#OMGG the ending🥹😭🌸✨💖 I literally can’t this story was so amazing; angsty, heartbreaking, and overwhelming yes but amazing nonetheless🥹 This is definitely one of your best fics (that I’ve read so far) with all of the different elements you touch on and how you layer them all together like a painter to create one big picture in the end🥹 and the writing was beautiful as always 🙂‍↔️🌸✨💗

Forever Hold Your Peace

Pairing: Mob!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader, Mob!Bucky Barnes x OFC Summary: You're in love with Bucky Barnes, but he's marrying someone else. Word Count: Over 11.1k Warnings: Explicit sexual content, unprotected vaginal sex, angst, breaking up, cheating of sorts (not between Bucky and reader), arranged marriage, violence, minor character deaths, miscommunication, talk of becoming a mistress, slight twist, George Barnes is the worst, feels, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?). A/N: Lovelies, I'm FINALLY submitting my fic for @sweeterthanthis 's Bittersweet Symphony Writing Challenge. I went back and forth on how I wanted to do this. Struggled. Changed it (right, @sgt-seabass?). Dragged my feet. Here it is. Finally. Thank you to @flordeamatista, @targaryenvampireslayer, and @whisperlullaby who not only beta read this ages back, but gave me insightful feedback, direction, and suggestions to help make it even better than my vision. It is very much appreciated and only helps me continue to grow. I'm proud of this. Also, any and all mistakes are my own.❤️ Dividers by the talented @saradika. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

You never wanted to have an over the top wedding, it wasn't your style. A small ceremony surrounded by close friends and family would be a much simpler, but happy, occasion in your eyes. As long as you married the man you loved, that was what mattered.

But it didn't matter because you love Bucky Barnes.

And he was marrying someone else.

You stared out the window from where you rested in bed and watched as the sun brightened your room. The rays danced around the space and cast a brilliant glow as it tried to wrap you in a warm embrace. It was a false sense of comfort as it did nothing to soothe the eclipse that had taken over your heart.

Of course, it was a beautiful day. You expected nothing less for the wedding of the year. The Barnes family demanded the best life has to offer and even Mother Nature seemed to listen.

But I'm not good enough for you, Bucky, am I?

Your phone had gone off numerous times since you woke up and you grudgingly reached over to check it. You probably should've shut it off. With a bittersweet smile, you read through one of your group chats.

Monica aka Cap: Hey. You doing okay?

Helen aka Doc: Do you want us to stop by?

Brunhilde aka Valkyrie: We can kick Bucky’s ass first. Just give us the word.

A watery laugh bubbled up. Monica, Helen, and Brunnhilde were three of your oldest friends. Brilliant, beautiful, strong women who were ready to defend or help you without a second thought. They were practically family at this point. You knew they’d be bridesmaids in your wedding one day.

But today wasn't that day.

You: I love all of you, but I just need to be alone today. Sorry.

You refused to look at any of the other messages. Talking wouldn't make you feel any better and you weren't looking for sympathy or comfort. The only plans you had today were to cry over romantic comedies and eat a pint of ice cream.

What better way to celebrate than to wallow in your self-pity?

The creak of your bedroom door made you turn your head. You weren't expecting anyone, but it didn't surprise you when Natasha wordlessly walked in. Her younger sister, Yelena, was right behind her with a garment bag in her hand.

They had become your friends thanks to him.

They would've been bridesmaids, too.

“Good. You're awake,” Natasha said, crossing her arms when you didn't acknowledge her. “Are you getting up?”

You imagined sinking into the mattress, but you couldn't hide them. “No, I'm fine right here.”

“Not fine. Get up. Big day ahead,” Yelena urged, mimicking her sister's stance.

You slowly sat up and glared at the two women at the foot of your bed. They were friends, but they were also dangerous. Not many had the guts to stare them down, but you were too upset to care. “I don't have a big day ahead, so what exactly are you doing here?”

“We need to get you ready for the wedding,” Natasha answered.

You huffed and put your head back on the pillow. “I'm not going. I'm sulking alone. So sorry you wasted your time by coming here.”

Yelena tugged on the blanket before you could cover yourself up. “Why not? Could be fun.”

You weren't sure whether to burst out laughing or burst into tears at her joke.

“I RSVP'd that I wouldn't be there,” you pointed out.

“You wrote 'kindly fuck off' instead of checking off yes or no,” Natasha said.

Yelena snorted as her sister raised an eyebrow at her. You tried to avoid anything Bucky related, as difficult as it was. And then you got the invitation. Your reaction wasn't your finest moment, but receiving it was like reopening the wound.

If you went to Bucky's wedding and watched him marry someone else, you'd shatter. Even if you managed to put yourself back together, you wouldn't be the same. How could they ask that of you?

Why couldn't they let you mend your broken heart on your own terms?

“I'm not going, Nat,” you whispered, wishing she would drop it. “It's cruel that I was invited and you're making it worse.”

There was sorrow in her eyes as she regarded you, a look you didn't see often. It shook your resolve. One of the reasons Bucky valued Natasha was because of her ability to get things done. Whether by words or force, she knew how to push to get people to go in her direction.

“You have to. Please, he needs you,” Natasha said carefully.

Your eyes flashed with rage as you swung your legs over the side of your bed to stand. “He needs me? Are you fucking kidding me?”

The redhead held her hands up, but the gesture didn't calm you. “Please, listen.”

“No! He dumped me. Why the hell should I go to his wedding?”

“She makes a good point.”

“Not helping, Yelena,” Natasha grumbled.

“Bucky doesn't need me in his life,” your voice cracked before you swallowed the lump in your throat. “He made that very clear.”

Bucky didn't kiss you when he went into your apartment that day.

Ever since you started dating, he always greeted you with a kiss. The way his lips moved against yours indicated what kind of day he had. Judging by the haunted look in his eyes, you expected him to smother you with a needy, demanding kiss. But he bypassed you completely and sat on the other end of the couch like he was trying to put distance between the two of you.

“What's wrong?” You asked as you moved to sit beside him. His hair was disheveled like he had been pulling at it. He did that when he was really angry or upset. “Bucky?”

He brought a hand up and touched your cheek, your own hand moving instinctively to cover his. When he leaned like he was going to kiss you, he only rested his forehead against yours. His breath tickled your lips, but the shudder that wracked his frame worried you as he pulled away. It felt like a wordless goodbye.

You didn't want to experience that ever again.

“Talk to me, please.”

He clasped his hands together and stared straight ahead. You wouldn't have known he was breathing if you hadn't seen the slight movement in his chest. The silence began to get uncomfortable, which was a first. The quiet moments were usually serene.

“I'm getting married.“

Was it possible for someone to pull the rug out from under you if you weren't standing?

“You're what?” You asked.

“Please, don't make me say it again.“

“I don't understand,“ you said, trying to make sense of the bombshell he dropped.

“My dad. He arranged it.”

You bristled at the mention of his dad. He was the head of one of the most powerful families in the city. Most feared him, but you couldn't stand him. When he realized that while your family had some wealth and power, it wasn't enough for his firstborn son. He told him you were nothing more than a phase. A bed warmer. He didn't even wait until you left the room to voice his disdain.

Bucky didn't bring you around much after that, which you didn't object to. The one meeting was more than enough. He assured you that the wedge between him and his father started long before you entered the picture, especially after the death of his mother. He also promised his dad's opinion wouldn't change a thing about how he felt and that his mom would've adored you.

“I take it he didn't arrange for you to marry me?” You asked, doing your best to crack a smile.

He didn't smile back. He hardly looked at you.

“Sophia Genovese is going to be my wife,” he answered neutrally, but his jaw clenched. “Her engagement fell through, so my dad arranged for me to take her ex-fiance's place.”

Bucky mentioned her in passing. Not only did she come from an extremely powerful family, but she was beautiful, sophisticated, and as close to perfection as anyone could get. His dad had everything to gain from a marriage like that.

Everything he couldn't get with you.

“You can say 'no', right?” You asked hopefully. Stupidly. “You don't have to go through with it.”

“Yeah, I do,” he said, pushing himself up as your stomach churned. “Which is why we can't see each other anymore.”

Your world didn't fall to pieces. Instead, you floated slowly in the air. Bucky remained on the ground as you drifted away, just out of reach when you tried to touch him. That was when you felt the first crack in the foundation.

A slow destruction with the man you love at the root.

“No. No. We're not breaking up,” you said.

“We have to,” he said, still not facing you.

It took you a moment to get to your feet with how your head spun. “No, we don't. I-I can talk to your dad? I know he doesn't want you to be with me, but if you don't want to marry her-”

“Talk to my dad?” He cut you off as he turned toward you, a flash of panic in his eyes before a soft laugh crept from his throat. “Are you kidding?”

“No, I'm not. Maybe he can see reason?“ You asked as he shook his head. “Or we could leave.“

“Leave?” He repeated, looking down at your hand as you reached out for him. The panic you saw in his eyes moments ago resurfaced, which he quickly blinked away to replace his expression with a hardened mask. “Are you asking me to choose between you and my family?”

“We can go anywhere we want. I don't care where,” you said. You'd live in a shack as long as it was with him. “And I'm not asking you to choose between me and your dad. If anything, I'm asking you to choose love. It wouldn't be forever if we left. It would be until we can figure it out.”

“There's nothing for us to figure out. The deal is done,” he said dismissively, jerking his hand away so quickly you almost fell forward. He couldn't mean that. “And so are we.”

You wished for a moment that you could go numb to not feel the piercing pain in your heart.

Why isn't he fighting for me? For us?

“Bucky, we love each other,” you whispered as tears sprang to your eyes.

“And we were naive to think we could be together,” he stated, his voice void of any emotion.

You could take rage or sorrow, but not his indifference.

“So, that's it?” You asked as the tears spilled over. “You're giving up on us? You're walking away?”

“It's better this way,” he said, hesitating as he lifted his hand. He quickly dropped it when you began to wipe at your cheeks. “I know you don't think that now, but it is. You'll find someone who can be with you and I'll find a way to make it work with Sophia.”

“Oh, yeah, I'm sure you'll find it really easy to make it work since she's perfect,” you mumbled. You tried to hold it together, but the bitterness crept in as more tears fell. “Don't make it seem like you're getting the raw end of the deal when you're not the one ending up alone.”

Bucky flinched and you savored that he showed some sort of emotion. “I owe it to her to try.”

“Oh, you owe her that? What about the future you promised me? A home? Marriage? A family? Was it all bullshit?!” You snapped, shoving his chest with both hands. You were pushing him more than physically, but you were past the point of caring. “Why are you giving up on us? Why aren't you trying?!”

“Because there's no point! This was never going to work!” He shouted, raising his voice for the first time and making you jump back. He never yelled at you. You never expected him to break your heart either. “You don't belong in my world. You never did and you never will.”

The room spun as you tried to take a breath. It wasn't like you were floating anymore. You were crashing down, the shards of his words piercing you so deep you weren't sure you'd ever get them out.

I was a phase. A bed warmer. I'm not worth fighting for. I never was.

Whatever wounded sound you made had Bucky stepping toward you. “Fuck, I'm sorry.”

“Get out,” you ordered, not recognizing the sound of your own voice as you moved out of his reach. “You said we're done, so we're done.”

His eyes flickered with sadness when he invaded your space. Why did he suddenly want to be close to you? “I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that.”

“Yes, you did. And I don't want your bullshit apologies. I want you gone,” you hissed, pushing him again. He didn't budge. “Get out. Get out! Get…” you steadied yourself, using every ounce of power you could manage to push him out of your home and life. “OUT!”

He didn't say a word or put up a fight when the shoves turned to smacks against his chest. Maybe he felt like he deserved your wrath. That broke you a little more. You weren't sure how long it took to shove him toward the door, but it exhausted you by the end of it. You wanted to curl into yourself and cry until there were no tears left.

“I love you, Bucky. I hope you have a nice life.”

His mouth fell open as you shut the door in his face.

As you sank to the floor, you realized he hadn't said he loved you once during the time he was there.

Love is sealed by a kiss, but he broke it with his words.

Maybe he never loved you at all.

“I think we can all agree that Barnes can be an idiot,” Natasha said, moving out of your way as you walked toward the bathroom.

“Is an idiot,” Yelena corrected.

“But whatever he said to hurt you, it was to push you away.”

“Mission accomplished,” you mumbled.

Bucky knew how to hurt people. He also knew you better than anyone, which meant he knew exactly where to put the knife in and twist it. You never expected him to inflict any sort of pain on you though because he swore he wouldn't.

Why do people make promises only to break them? Promises made in love should not be broken.

“Look, he hasn't been the easiest person to be around since he stopped seeing you. Everyone has noticed, even his father. He needs to see you, okay?” Natasha explained, gently nudging you through the door before you could reply. “Quick shower and we'll help you get ready.”

“You don't have to dress me. I'm not a child,” you snapped, slamming the door so you were left alone.

Guilt swirled in your gut as you stripped and went to the shower. You hadn't meant to snap when she was only trying to help. Or was she trying to help James? You didn't know anymore.

The cascading water did little to soothe you as you tried to push your despair aside. You hadn't allowed yourself to properly grieve from your broken heart. Why couldn't you just get over the man who abandoned you? Why did you have to keep loving him?

“Don't fall asleep in there!” Yelena shouted, almost making you slip on the tile as you shut the water off. “And no window escape.”

You thought about it more as you dried off. If Bucky went through with the wedding, it would be the end of the line. And maybe this would be the closure you needed to move on.

Though the love you have for him will never fade.

“Okay,” you said as you walked out of the bathroom in your room. “If you two are really going to make me go, I want to look perfect. Make him see what he's missing.”

“Don't worry. We'll make him look,” Yelena promised, nodding to your bed where the dress was waiting for you.

It wasn't exactly a wedding dress, but it was beautiful. It looked like the dress you wore on your first date with Bucky, only fancier. You didn't want to know where they got it or how they decided to pick that.

In the back of your mind though, you wondered if it was from Bucky.

“Thank you,” Natasha whispered.

“Don't thank me yet,” you said as you sat down at your vanity.

If you squinted, you could pretend they were getting you ready for your wedding day.

Maybe in another life, we could have had our happy ending, Bucky.

Natasha and Yelena should have become personal stylists or makeup artists. You almost suggested they should do it as a side hustle. They managed to transform you while still making you look like you.

Maybe you were a phoenix, burnt only to rise from the ashes anew.

“He'll look,” Yelena promised again as she slipped a ruby necklace around your neck. “Finishing touch.”

You brushed a finger along one of the gems, trying to shake the memory of when you received it. Bucky had given you the necklace at his private birthday dinner. When you reminded him that he was supposed to receive gifts on his birthday and not give them, he said he had the best gift of all with you. He said it again after he made love to you.

The only thing you wore was the necklace.

“I know heaven's a thing. I go there when you touch me, honey.“

“Isn't this a bit much?” You asked.

Natasha met your gaze in the mirror. “We should go,” she said, ignoring your question.

The girls effectively boxed you in as they led you to the limo, a subtle reminder not to run. Even in heels, they'd catch you. They were that good.

Clint wordlessly opened the car door, but gave you a sympathetic nod as he helped you in. Observant and sometimes sarcastic, you almost wish he would've said something. Maybe it was better that he kept quiet.

What comfort would he be able to provide you with?

Once again, Natasha and Yelena were on each side of you as you sat in the middle seat.

“Do you plan on sitting beside me at the wedding, too?” You asked, staring straight ahead once Clint got in and took off.

“Yelena will sit with you. I'm standing,” Natasha answered.

You weren't sure what to make of that. Maybe Sophia decided to have her in the wedding party in some capacity. Or maybe she'd keep watch to make sure there was no trouble on Bucky's special day.

“Guess I'm not allowed to speak when asked if anyone has any objections?”

“You can if you want to cause a scene,” Yelena said, shrugging a bit. You were considering it. “Again. Could be fun.”

“Stop being a bad influence,” Natasha warned when you snorted. “We'll have the car ready for you to go once you're allowed to leave.”

“Allowed? I need permission to leave?” You asked. “And where am I going?”

“Wherever you want,” she replied.

You would likely go home for the time being. Instead of sulking, maybe you could take steps toward leaving the city for good. A new job, a new apartment.

It was up to you to create your own happy ending.

One that you deserved.

“We'll see if I actually make it through the ceremony first,” you said.

Silence stretched on in the vehicle after that. You'd take the quiet over useless small talk, but you found it more difficult to breathe as you got closer to the venue. It was like a vice closed around your throat. Natasha reached over and gave your hand a squeeze when you sniffled. Yelena did the same with your other hand. It was comforting, even if they were the ones forcing you to endure this day.

“Do any of you plan to stop the wedding?” You asked, your curiosity getting the better of you. Was that why they were so adamant that you had to attend? The glimmer of hope within you wanted that to be the case.

You made eye contact with Clint in the rearview mirror before he focused on the road ahead. You didn’t dare glance at the girls, but you felt the weight of the answer before Natasha said, “No.”

As quickly as your hope grew, it disintegrated. It fell into the soil within your soul, ready to grow again when you were naive enough to believe. It was silly to ask in the first place.

“What’s the point of dolling me up then if nothing is going to change?”

“To make him look,” Yelena reminded you. “And maybe you’ll see your future husband today.”

Silence resumed again after that, but it wasn’t long before the car approached a private entrance. You half expected that the wedding would be at a church when you received the invitation, but it was an address you didn’t recognize. Maybe it would be their new home.

You felt slightly ill once the car came to a stop, Yelena helping you out before Clint had a chance to come around and open the door. You saw a massive and beautiful estate in front of you surrounded by a rich landscape. Gazing at the front door where two guards stood, you didn't have to step inside to know that the place was elegant with meticulous attention to detail.

Somewhere you didn't belong.

Forcing a smile on your face as Natasha urged you to move forward, she said something you couldn't make out to the larger of the two guards. His eyes settled on you only for a moment before he let you through and didn't bother to look in your clutch to see if you had a weapon. Like you would use one anyway, but you thought they'd be more careful.

I'm clearly not a threat.

It was quieter than you expected as you stood in the entrance way, a couple of women bustling by with flowers. No way Bucky chose those himself. They were far from his favorite.

“The ceremony is going to take place in the back garden,” Natasha explained. “The fence will have guards in case anyone tries to get in.”

“Or get out,” Yelena added.

“I need to have a quick chat with Steve,” Natasha said. Steve Rogers, Bucky's best friend and heir to the Rogers empire, was every bit as handsome and ruthless as his best friend. “Yelena will take you to your seat shortly. Try not to wander off.”

You scoffed as you gestured in front of you. “Considering I have no clue where I'm going, I'll stay here.”

Natasha smirked before she left, the echo of her heels eventually fading once she was out of sight.

“Stand up straight,” Yelena ordered, pressing against your back. “Show no fear.”

“Why?” You asked before you spotted a large man walk toward you, two men hot on his heels.

George Barnes.

“Well, well. You made it. I wish I could say it was nice to see you,” he said, his gaze lingering on your necklace as you bristled. You covered the jewelry with your hand, worried he might rip it off. You wouldn't allow him to take that away. “At least you had the decency to not wear white. Would've been extremely tacky and useless to try and upstage Sophia.”

You knew he was trying to get under your skin at the mention of his soon-to-be daughter-in-law. “Believe me, Mr. Barnes, the feeling is mutual. Honestly, I’d be happy to live out the rest of my life without us having to cross paths,” you said, giving him a sweet smile when his eye twitched. He likely wasn't used to women insulting him. “But if you want me to leave-”

“Nonsense. I want you to witness a union of power. Something you’ll never have,” he boasted, making a show of smoothing out his expensive jacket. “I also hope you're on some form of birth control since James plans to take you as a mistress. He doesn't need any bastards running around now, does he?”

You gaped at him, trying to figure out if he was kidding. “Just so we're clear, I'm good enough for your son to fuck, but not marry or have his kids?”

“I'm glad we understand each other.”

“I don't understand,” you said, your voice cracking as Yelena took a step closer to your side. “Your son loved me.”

Maybe part of him still does.

“It isn't for you to understand why I do what I do. What you need to understand is your place,” he snarled in a low voice as he crowded your space. You almost stepped back, but he probably wanted you to be afraid and you weren't about to let that show. “All that work I put into my son and you almost unraveled it. Even after leaving you, he's been difficult. Sullen.”

“I'm so sorry to hear that,” you said, elated that he pretty much confirmed that Bucky missed you.

“I'm sure you are. But that'll change. He's going to marry Sophia and make my empire even stronger than before. And I hope you cry yourself to sleep knowing he didn't choose you in the end.”

Rage pulsed through your veins at the audacity of the grinning man in front of you. “Are you done talking? As much as I'm sure you love the sound of your own voice, I'm tired of hearing it,” you said, his smile slowly fading from his face when you didn't break down. “And when you go to Hell, I hope you aren't burned by the flames. I hope you drown in the tears of everyone you ever wronged. And when you ask for their help to save you, they'll watch you sink to the bottom. Your son included.”

Under different circumstances, the shade of red Mr. Barnes turned would’ve been comical. A man who liked to dish it out, but was unable to take someone throwing it back at him. Maybe he had power in name, but he was weak in heart. “You little bitch,” he snarled, raising his hand.

You didn't flinch or look away from his rage-filled eyes as you braced yourself from the impact. Maybe you shouldn't have run your mouth, but you didn't care. Let him hit you. Let him prove himself to be the monster you believed him to be, especially after he insulted you first.

But the blow didn't land. Yelena caught his arm before it could. Neither of the men behind him reached for a weapon nor did they make a move to throw you out. Were they waiting for a signal from their boss?

“No fighting,” she calmly spoke, using her other arm to help you back away. “Your rule today, right, Mr. Barnes?”

“Belova,” he said through his teeth, yanking his arm back. You wondered what kind of trouble she'd get in for helping you. She didn't deserve it. “That rule is-”

“No fighting,” she said again, nodding to you. “I made her look pretty. No messing up her makeup.”

“She looks like a whore,” he said.

“I think she looks pretty,” Yelena said with a shrug before she turned her attention back to you. “Down the left hall. Second to last door on the right. Wait there for me.”

“Thank you, Yelena,” you whispered.

Mr. Barnes grabbed your arm as you tried to walk by. “When my son seeks you out to take you as a mistress, you will say yes. Be that as long as he does what needs to be done. Keep his bed warm and his dick wet, but don't think for a second that you'll be anything more than a whore.”

You calmly shook him off, even as your stomach turned. To speak so callously of you, of Bucky, of what you meant to each other. To suggest that you would be a kept woman. How did a man like Bucky spawn from someone as disgusting as him?

“Mr. Barnes, you may have power and you may think you have control over your son, but you're nothing more than a pathetic excuse of a man who gets off on bullying people you deem beneath you. I hope your neck breaks from looking down on me.”

A shaky breath left your lungs as you quickly walked past the men and went down the left hall as instructed, not looking back to see if anyone went after you. It was careless to run your mouth again, but you just had to get the last word in. What the hell was that man going to do to you once the wedding was over? Maybe he wouldn't do anything at all. Surely he had bigger fish to fry.

The hall seemed to stretch on and you wondered why Yelena sent you down here. Was it a restroom? She obviously knew the estate well enough if she-

Your breath stopped as Bucky walked out of the last room on the left, his gaze landing on you as you froze. It was cliche that your heart skipped a beat, but how could it not? This was the first time you had seen him in person since that fateful day and he looked every bit as handsome as before. Between the black tuxedo tailored to perfection, trimmed beard, and not a single hair out of place, he played the part of the son who would one day rule the city. Except for his cerulean eyes.

They were lined in pain.

“You're here,” he breathed, like he couldn't believe you were in front of him.

You wished you felt numb as you looked at him. This was the man who once told you he'd burn the world if anything ever happened to you. The fire within him was long snuffed out and he took the warmth with him. You were tired of feeling cold.

And you were so tired.

“Not by choice,” you said, proud that your voice stayed steady as he moved toward you.

“You look so breathtaking,” he said, like he was seeing you for the first time. As much as you liked his gaze sweeping over you, it hurt. “You're wearing my necklace.”

“Natasha and Yelena's idea,” you told him, not returning the compliment by telling him how handsome he looked. “Apparently you needed me today, so here I am.”

He lifted his hand as if to touch you before he lowered it. “I do need you.”

Your gut wrenched, your heart and mind raging over whether or not to believe him. “I'm sorry, but I don't exactly see how that's possible. You dumped me. You're getting married. Chapter closed. Move out of my way, James. Please.”

He flinched at the use of his first name, but recovered quickly as he stopped you from moving around him. Your shoulders tensed when he touched your arm, the familiar jolt of electricity running through your veins at the contact. You wanted to resent him for still making you feel something, but how could you when he made you feel alive? Even the crushing weight of the emotions was a reminder that you didn't break.

In many ways, he helped you become stronger.

“You're going to try and sneak out,” he guessed. You didn't disagree. “Don't. You can't leave yet.”

“Yes, I can. I'm not one of your subordinates or soldiers or whatever the hell you call them. And if you won't get out of my way, I'll just go back the way I came. Yelena will find me.”

Before you could protest, he gripped your arm a bit tighter and dragged you into the very room Yelena sent you to. It appeared to be a study, which you wish you could've taken the time to appreciate. You almost screamed for help, but who the hell would come to your rescue?

This was Bucky's world and you were just a pawn in it.

“Let go of me!” You demanded as your clutch fell to the ground, smacking his hand hard enough for him to loosen his hold. “Who the hell do you think you are?”

“I'm sorry,” he said.

“Sorry for what exactly? Making me come here today or breaking my heart? Or maybe you're apologizing for your dad and his clear disdain for me? It doesn't matter because I don't care.”

“I care. You don't understand,” he said, effectively blocking the door when you tried to get past him. His eyes flashed with a dangerous glint, making you take a step back. “Wait. You saw my dad? What the fuck did he say to you?”

He looks like he's about to commit a murder.

“No, I don't understand. Not your father or this situation. I likely never will,” you said, clenching and unclenching your fists. Nothing could ground you. “He said you planned to take me as a mistress.”

Bucky's jaw clenched. “That's what he told you?”

“Yes, among other things. Is that why you wanted me here today? To make that offer?” You answered, your palm itching. Was that why Natasha and Yelena really forced you to come to this? “You know what? Don't answer that. I'd be too tempted to smack you.”

“I've already beat myself up for the both of us,” he muttered.

“I'll save you the trouble of asking: No, I won't be your mistress. I won't stay here and be your whore. I'm sorry,” you said.

Whether or not he'd grow to care for Sophia or if he was doing this strictly out of orders from George, he would be a married man at the end of the day. Even if there was a chance down the road that he would divorce Sophia, could you condone carrying on an affair with him? Could you contribute to him breaking his vows? Both of you deserved better than that.

He ran a hand through his hair and messed up the style. “I'm asking you to forgive me at your own pace and stay,” he said.

He sounded sincere and on the edge of breaking. You were there with him. “I can forgive you, but you're still marrying someone else, Bucky. And what would we be if I stayed? Friends? We can't be friends.”

He grabbed you by the shoulders when you attempted to step around him again, a wild look in his eyes. You couldn't recall ever seeing him so untamed. “You really think I want this? That I would want anyone besides you?”

Tears filled your eyes by that point, wishing that were true. “Yes! You broke my heart, remember? You said I didn't belong in your world and that you owed it to Sophia to try. Those were your words. So, no, I don't think you want me. At least not all of me.”

“I broke up with you because I had to. I know I was hurtful, but I had to keep you from going after me,” he said, your chest tightening when he pulled you closer. “If you leave now, I know you'll run.”

Would you chase me if I tried to run?

“So what if I do? I'm not yours anymore.”

“You'll always be mine,” he spoke with such reverence that your lower lip quivered. “Just like I'm still yours.”

“Fuck you, James,” you seethed, struggling in his grasp as a tear slid down your cheek. You cried so many tears because of him and you were ready to be finished. “This is cruel and you know it.”

“I know you hate me-”

“That's just it. I don't hate you. I don't think I ever could,” you said, your chest heaving as you tried not to choke on a sob. “But you know what I want? My heart. You took it from me and I want it back, along with my love for you. Every smile, every laugh, every kiss. Give it all back and let me go.”

“I won't do that,” he whispered after a beat. “I love you too much.”

Bucky reached up to cup your cheek and draw you closer, his breath fanning over your lips as you trembled. You wanted so desperately to meet him halfway, but how could you cross that line after vehemently denying that possibility? Would it shatter your heart all over again if you did?

“We can't,” you whispered when his mouth brushed against yours, a small taste of the now forbidden spreading through you like a wildfire. But your mind urged you to lean back even as your heart screamed for you to give in. “Bucky, we can't.”

“Yes, we can. Please,” he gently argued, your heart pounding over the voice in your head as he pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth. Your head spun when you inhaled, his cologne adding to the dizzying feeling as he moved his mouth to the other side. “We love each other.”

You hesitated once more before you sighed in resignation. You did love Bucky. It may have been wrong at the moment, but he had the key to your heart. And you would allow him to unlock it one last time.

You weren't sure who leaned in first this time, but your mouths met in a familiar dance. He led as he parted your lips with his tongue and you followed with a moan. Eagerly gripping his hair, uncaring that he'd have to fix it later, you melted into him and prayed he'd catch you if you fell.

“Please, Bucky,” you whispered as his mouth left a warm trail of open mouthed kisses along your neck.

You didn't know what you were pleading for as he backed you against a wall. Was it for him to let you go? To fight for you? Or to take you to paradise one last time?

Love me like you're going to lose me.

“I love you so fucking much,” he murmured, your heart pounding as he moved his hand along your chest. His fingertips dragged along the necklace, a shackle of the ownership he had over you. One you'd wear forever if he only asked. “Killed me to be apart from you, doll. Hated every second of it.”

Guilt began to sink in. You just told him you wouldn't be a kept woman, but you allowed him to kiss you. Touch you. Was it because he hadn't gone through with the wedding yet? Was there a chance he'd back out of it?

“You hurt me,” you reminded him, but didn't stop him from gliding his hand down your torso. “You broke my heart.”

“I had to,” he said again. You expected him to say more, but he only hiked your dress up and dragged your underwear down far enough that you could spread your legs. And you didn't need to pour more salt in the open wound by saying again that he hurt you. He knew. “I'm sorry.”

“Then show me how sorry you are,” you demanded, your hands shaky as they reached for his belt. You didn't have much time. “Even if someone walks in-”

“I'm not stopping,” he said, helping you with his pants. You wrapped a hand around his cock the second it sprang free, the familiar hardness only making the ache inside you grow. You needed to feel him. “I don't care if the world's on fire. Won't stop me from being inside you.”

“Just shut up and fuck me.”

He chuckled as he pressed his lips to yours, warmth blooming from your core when his fingers teased your folds. One touch and you melted, your pussy wet and ready for him to make himself at home again. He swallowed down your moan as he explored, like he was memorizing you all over again.

“Bucky,” you whined as he pulled his fingers away.

“I've got you.”

Your hands flew to his shoulders as he wrapped one of your legs around him. You dug your fingers in almost hard enough to bruise him as he lined himself up. Part of you wished you could leave your mark on him. Perhaps you had in his heart, a claim that no one else could see but one you both felt.

Heart and soul.

Your heart pounded as he slowly buried himself deep, relishing in the burn from the stretch. The breath punched out of your lungs as you surrounded him, his cock filling you to your limit. It was far from the first time he had you, but it felt even better than before. More raw, passionate. You wanted him to stay inside you and never leave.

Clenching around him was the wordless order for him to move, almost afraid to open your mouth and speak. You were afraid if you did that he'd slip through your fingers. That this would be just a dream and you'd wake up alone again.

“Fuck, I love you. Wanna make you feel good,” he moaned, his eyes hazy with pleasure and face a mask of euphoria at his movements. It was a beautiful sight. One you wanted to remember for the rest of your life. “Wish I could tear your dress open and get my hands on your gorgeous tits.”

“Oh, fuck,” you moaned, pushing your chest forward and wishing for the same. You wanted him to pinch your nipples and soothe the sting with his tongue.

“Always so pretty when you play with them, especially when I fuck you with my tongue,” he went on, canting his hips to thrust deeper. He always made you feel beautiful no matter how he had you. “Tell me you love me.”

You bit your lip, realizing that he begged to hear it. A man as strong as him pleading for your love nearly tore you apart. “I love you, Bucky,” you panted, your chest rising faster as you moved your hips down.

His eyes devoured you, devotion and adoration in his gaze before he brushed his nose against yours. You shared one breath as you moved together, the slow and firm motions making you leak around him. His hand came to the side of your face, tilting your head to kiss you. It made your heart flutter wildly, the slide of his lips and tongue sending shivers down your spine.

It left you dizzy, like you were unable to breathe.

“Missed this sweet cunt,” he grunted, reaching under your dress as he picked up the pace. You didn't have to beg for him to touch you since his thumb found and teased your clit. “Missed how tight you got around me right before I came inside you.”

“Come in me,” you whimpered, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I need it.”

“I don't wanna stop,” he groaned as you trembled, the head of his cock hitting that spot inside you that made you see stars. He was taking you to heaven. “I can't. We can't be done.”

You shut your eyes as you rested your head against his, quiet whines falling from your lips as he kept rubbing your bundle of nerves. You wanted to whisper that it wasn't the end. That was the beginning of a new path after being apart. But that wasn't your destiny. He was meant to rule with another queen.

“Please, Bucky. I'm close,” you said, opening your eyes as heat coiled in your gut. “Come with me. Show me you love me.”

One last time.

Placing a hand on his chest to feel the beat of his heart, you let yourself fall over the precipice. Your blood turned to lava in your veins as you breathed his name like a prayer. He recited a litany of praise in return as you clamped around him, doing your best to soak up every word as your spirit threatened to float away. Twisting your fingers in his hair, you didn't want it to end either.

“Fuck. I love you,” he groaned as he emptied himself inside you, his lips moving along your chin, lips, cheeks, anywhere he could reach.

You clung to him as he pulled out of you, some of his release sliding out with yours as he caught his breath. You couldn't do more than make a small noise as he lowered your leg and bent down to pull your underwear back up. They were ruined now. You were ruined.

“You really are so fucking beautiful,” he said, tucking himself back into his pants as you braced yourself against the wall.

“And you are so fucking-”

“James?” An unfamiliar voice spoke, nearly making you collapse.

Oh, shit.

“Fuck,” he huffed, both of you turning your heads toward the open door.

The post-sex afterglow disappeared as a woman in an elegant bridal gown stepped inside and closed the door, her beautiful face twisted in disgust as she stared at Bucky. Even in anger, Sophia Genovese was a vision. You put a hand to your stomach, willing yourself not to get sick as she turned her gaze toward you, the anger visibly lessening. Choice or not, this was Bucky's fiancé. You were the other woman. Did it matter to her that you loved him? Did she care for him? Maybe George was right about you after all.

You were a whore.

“You really couldn't keep it in your pants until after the ceremony?_ She asked, turning an unimpressed stare back on Bucky. “Honestly, James. What the hell is wrong with you?”

“What the fuck are you doing in here?” Bucky asked, helping you fix your dress with gentle hands and a soft kiss to your forehead. “You're supposed to be in the east wing.”

“And you're supposed to be ready for the ceremony and not sticking your dick in her,” she said harshly enough to make you wince. “Simple instructions that you should’ve been able to follow. Or can you not comprehend basic orders?”

“Shut up, Sophia,” he snapped, zipping up his pants as she rolled her eyes.

There was no lost love between them, but you still felt terrible as you looked at the woman. “I'm sorry,” you said softly. “I love him, but that’s no excuse.”

“You’re sorry for what? For fucking a man you love? Though I don't know why you love him. He's an idiot,” she scoffed, shooing Bucky out of her way. You stood your ground as she walked close, but she didn't slap you as you expected. She turned her back to you. “Lace up my dress so my tits don’t fall out of this.”

What?

It took a second for you to move, but you carefully laced her bodice. A beautiful gown fit for a queen. “I really am-”

“Save it. I don't want or need your apologies,” she cut you off before she pointed at Bucky. “But you will get your ass to that altar. I don’t care what it takes. Don't you dare ruin this for me, James, or I'll make your life a living hell.”

Bucky opened his mouth as the door opened again to reveal Yelena. She surveyed the scene before she went over and grabbed your arm. “You stink like sex,” she commented. “We must go.”

With misty eyes, you looked at Bucky. “I know nothing I say will stop you from getting married, but is this really it for us? I become your mistress or nothing at all?”

Is this the end?

Sophia shook her head when he didn't answer you. Yelena didn't speak either. “Mistress? You fucking-”

“Don't say another word,” Bucky ordered her.

“We must go. It's almost time,” Yelena said.

Bucky snuck in one last kiss as a tear slid from your eye, the feel of his lips lingering on yours. “I love you. I’ll never stop.”

That wasn't an answer to your question, but you weren't going to get one, were you? “I love you, too,” you said before Yelena dragged you away, needing him to hear that as your heart began to break again.

“I can’t believe you,” Sophia said before the door slammed shut and blocked out the voices.

Is Sophia going to rip him a new one?

You hastily wiped your cheek and had a hard time keeping up with Yelena as she dragged you down the hall. “I didn’t expect to bump into him,” you told her, like it would excuse your actions.

“You’re lucky no one else saw,” she said as Natasha came into sight near a pair of glass doors. The redhead didn't look pleased. “She slept with him.”

“Yelena,” you hissed, though you were sure the redhead already knew by your guilty expression.

“Of course, you did,” Natasha said under her breath. “Get to your seats.”

“Wait! I really don't know if I can do this,” you told them. Not when you could still feel the sweet burn of Bucky inside you. Not when your heart told you he didn't stop loving you. “How can I watch him marry her?”

Natasha exchanged an unreadable look with her sister. “Because when this is all over, he’s going to need you by his side more than ever.”

Why is everyone being so cryptic and not saying what they need to?

“By his side as his whore you mean,” you said. “Isn't that it?”

Is that really my future?

“As the woman who has his heart,” Yelena said, surprising all three of you. “Come. We must sit.”

Yelena led you outside to the gardens where most of the guests were already settled. It was a smaller amount than you expected, the flowers lining the chairs just as bright as the aisle runner. She practically shoved you into your chair on the groom’s side before she took a seat. The low buzz of excitement around you would’ve been contagious had this been any other wedding.

“I can really leave when this is over, right?” You asked. You weren’t sure you could handle a reception, even if Bucky wanted to see you. Maybe you’d see if Monica, Helen, and Brunhilde could meet up after all. “You won't stop me?”

Yelena gave you a curt nod. “If you really wish. Just know he'll find you,” she said, pouting a bit as she stole a glance at you. “Please, don’t hate us.”

“I could never,” you assured her as she nodded again. No matter what happened after this and even though you despised the situation, you could never hate Natasha or Yelena. They didn’t let too many people close and it was a privilege that you were part of that small circle.

It was like you were in a daze when the ceremony began. You blinked tears away as Bucky entered the garden and stood tall at the altar, looking pristine and powerful once again. He spotted you easily as the music began, ignoring Steve as he walked down the aisle with the maid of honor. You didn’t take your eyes away either.

It was as if you were the only two who existed.

Even as Sophia began to walk down the aisle with her father, he didn’t take his eyes off you. Tears surfaced again when you realized he didn’t actually look happy or proud. Not at all.

He looked trapped.

Bucky was a prisoner in his own life.

Your heartbreak forgotten, you were beginning to understand why Natasha and Yelena said he needed you. It wasn’t his fault he wasn’t in control of his life. While your parents gave you freedom, his dad shackled him. And you knew you could never walk away from him. Not when he needed someone in his corner.

Someone who loved him unconditionally.

“It’s okay,” you mouthed to him, smiling through your tears. “I love you.”

A sad smile touched Bucky’s lips before Sophia reached the end of the aisle. His attention was now on his bride-to-be. You could only sit and watch as the man you loved began a new path.

Yelena silently handed you a handkerchief as the officiant began. “Dearly beloved…”

Blocking the words out as Bucky and Sophia faced each other, you looked around at everyone else. Steve appeared a bit stiff, like he was anticipating something going wrong. Natasha and Clint weren’t smiling either. They were observing.

“If there is anyone who feels these two should not be wed, please speak now or forever hold your peace.”

This is it.

“I object,” Bucky spoke.

A small smile appeared on Sophia's face as people around you gasped. “As do I,” she said, handing her bouquet to her maid of honor.

You held your breath when George stood up. “What the hell do you think you're doing?!”

Bucky ignored him as he faced everyone. “I'm in love with someone else,” he announced as you held your breath, holding out his hand and beckoning for you to join him. “She's the one I want to spend my life with and beyond.”

“You unworthy-”

Yelena stood up faster than you could blink, pistol in hand. Where did she pull that out from? “You sit and listen,” she ordered, giving you a rare smile. “You go to him.”

Steve, Natasha, and Clint all had guns aimed at Bucky's father as your mind screamed at you to move. Your legs nearly gave out as you ignored the stares and walked down the aisle, but you made it to Bucky and took his hand. Why weren't any of the other men stepping in to stop you? What the hell was happening?

“This is the only person I want to be with. You will know her name and you will respect her,” Bucky announced, your name falling from his lips a heartbeat later.

It sounded so beautiful.

“Little fucking whore-” George began before Steve moved forward and smacked him in the face with his gun.

Hard.

“Don't use that kind of language when you talk about my best friend's girl,” Steve said, backing away slowly as George spit blood in the grass. “Go ahead, Buck.”

“When my dad ordered me to marry Sophia, I objected because I already found the love of my life. He said if I didn't go through with the ceremony, he would have my girl killed in the most dishonorable way. He threatened the same thing if I tried to leave the city with her or if she tried to interfere in the wedding plans. He even threatened to kill her closest friends,” Bucky said, gripping your hand a little tighter. “So I had to break her heart to protect her.”

You exhaled slowly, almost collapsing. Bucky told you he had to hurt you, but you didn't know your life was at stake. Or the lives of your girlfriends. That was why he looked so frightened that day when you suggested talking to his dad. He would've had all of you killed. The only reason he didn't hurt you today was because Yelena stepped in to defend you.

And deep down he likely thought he already won because today was the wedding day.

“I don't think I ever loved you, but I never hated you more,” Bucky spoke, his eyes narrowed in hate as he finally acknowledged his dad. “I almost killed you then and there, but you had your men watching her, and I had to wait until I swayed them to my side.”

“They're my men,” George snapped, snatching a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe his mouth.

Bucky smirked when the guards took their guns out and trained them on his father. “Not anymore.”

That was why no one was jumping in to defend George. They worked for Bucky now. They had a new leader. A better one.

“I didn't want to marry James either. I don't care for him. In fact, I can't stand the sight of him. I have someone I love waiting for me,” Sophia added unapologetically as Natasha pointed her gun at her fuming father. The only reason he wasn't rushing toward the altar was because someone else had a gun against the back of his head. “You'd think after the first engagement fell through that you would've learned your lesson, but it doesn't matter now. James and I both had something to gain from each other. So while you thought we were planning our wedding day, we came to an agreement and made our own plans.”

“We share the power of the city without marriage,” Bucky said, nodding to the surrounding men and women. “We stay in our territories, continue our work, and help each other when necessary.”

“Most importantly, we're free to be with a partner of our choosing with no interference,” Sophia said.

Bucky cocked his head at his dad. “Did you really think me keeping my girl as a mistress would satisfy me? Mom probably rolled over in her grave and I should've cut out your tongue for suggesting it.”

It was like another blow to your chest. You assumed Bucky wanted you as a side piece when he didn't say otherwise. He had to keep up the facade. You should've known better.

Heartbreak made you blind.

“So, I'm afraid none of you are here today to witness a marriage between the Barnes and Genovese families,” Sophia shrugged.

“You're here to witness an execution,” Bucky said, giving his dad a bittersweet smile. “Enjoy rotting in Hell while I'm in heaven on earth with my girl.”

It all happened so fast, but it felt like you witnessed it in slow motion as Bucky shielded you with his left arm. Sophia with a gun in her hand fired a bullet between George's eyes. Bucky shot Sophia's dad in the head as well. In the blink of an eye, the leaders of the Barnes and Genovese families failed to take another breath, their blood spraying on nearby patrons. Taken out by the very children they tried to force a marriage on.

Their own flesh and blood.

But blood isn't always thicker than water.

You felt like you were floating underwater when the guards ordered the bloodied guests to get to their feet. This was the world you knew Bucky lived in, but you hadn’t witnessed him kill anyone until now. In a strange way, you felt closer to him because you saw this. You knew exactly what he was capable of.

And just how far he’d go to keep you by his side.

“Let that be a lesson for anyone who tries to hurt the ones we love,” Sophia said, sweeping over the small crowd with a cool gaze. “Get them inside to clean up,” she ordered the guards, who quickly ushered them away.

I might pass out.

“Take it easy,” Natasha said as Clint brought a chair for you to sit on. “I know this is probably a bit of a shock.”

“You think?” Yelena asked as she put her gun away. “Get her a water. Or vodka.”

“We’ll get this cleaned up. Clint’s getting the car,” Steve assured Bucky, nodding over to you. “Go tend to your girl.”

His girl.

Bucky holstered his gun under his jacket and crouched down, cupping your face with a tender touch. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to leave you in the dark, but I had to. I couldn't risk your safety.”

Sophia hit his shoulder. “You could've told her something! 'I broke her heart to protect her' bullshit,” she said, making your eyebrows shoot up. “I knew you were a bit in the dark, but I didn't realize he didn't clue you in at all.”

That must've been why she was surprised that I questioned being a mistress. She knew it would never get that far, but I didn't.

“I couldn’t warn her with the men watching her. They would’ve known and I had to make it convincing,” he said through his teeth.

“Even after they were on our side? You couldn't have given her a clue?” Sophia pressed.

“Her place was bugged,” Natasha said, causing a wave of nausea to hit you. His dad had your home monitored, too? “George would've known the moment Bucky tipped her off. Today was the first day he stopped having anyone listen in and Yelena and I got rid of the bugs while she showered.”

Oh, my God.

“Everyone had to play along, no matter how much it hurt us to do so,” Bucky said before concern filled his eyes. “Doll?”

You threw your arms around him, feeling a bit dramatic when you dissolved into tears. It was so much to take in, but relief flowed through you as he held you. He didn't go through with the ceremony.

He loved you.

Bucky never stopped loving you.

“I've got you,” he whispered, leaning back to search your face.

“I’m fine. Really,” you said after a second, allowing him to wipe your tears away. Everything made sense now, like why the girls were so eager for you to be here today. “But you really couldn’t have slipped a note to Natasha or Yelena to warn me? Even a, 'Hey, doll. Your place is bugged!' sort of thing?” You added, just to make a little light of the tense situation.

Sophia snorted when Bucky's face fell, like that idea hadn’t dawned on him. “Told you that you’re a fucking idiot,” she said, her eyes more sympathetic as she looked at you. “But I get his apprehension. My father had measurements set in place for me as well to go through with today, including trying to incapacitate the man I want to be with.”

“I'm sorry,” you said. Bucky and Sophia had to endure a lot of pain thanks to the men who should've respected their wishes.

“None of this is your fault. And I got a call before I found you two and he's okay. My men are bringing him to me now that it's safe to do so,” she said, smiling to herself. “The ceremony was the only way to take our fathers out. And I won't shed a tear for that sperm donor now that he's gone.”

“Neither will I,” Bucky said, glaring at his dad’s dead body. “And I’ll spend every day making it up to you, doll. If I could've made him suffer more, I would've. A cut for every tear I made you shed.”

“That's a lot of tears. He would've bled out.”

“It's the least he deserved.”

“I need to get out of this gown,” Sophia said, dismissing one of the men who went to check on her. She slipped the engagement ring off her finger and handed it to Bucky. “Until next time, James. And you? I hope we can become friends, if only to piss him off.”

You laughed a little at the absurdity. She just murdered Bucky’s father and watched as he executed her own dad. And she extended a hand to you in friendship. You had to both admire and fear her. Brunhilde would love her. “I’d like that.”

“Take care of her or I’ll hear about it and I’ll make you sorry,” she warned Bucky before she walked away.

‘I told you that you'd see your future husband here,” Yelena said before Natasha nodded to the bodies. “What? They're not going anywhere.”

“Let's let the lovebirds be,” she said, slipping into the big sister role.

“Thank you for dragging me here. And for everything,” you told them before they let you be. You wished they would've told you, but understood why they couldn't. You wouldn't hold that against them. “Are you okay?” You asked Bucky. Whether or not he hated George, that was his father. Between that, lying to protect you and everything else, it was a lot on his shoulders.

“Do I have you?” He replied, a hopeful look in his eyes.

“You have me,” you said without hesitation.

“Do you love me?”

“Yes, I do,” you smiled. “With all my heart and more.”

“Then I’m okay,” he smiled back.

“I'm sorry for how I acted. I’m so sorry,” you said. It was selfish in so many ways to focus on your own pain. “I should've known-”

“No, don't apologize. You had every right to be upset and couldn't have known that everything was a charade. I'm just thankful you're safe,” he said, taking your left hand and slipping the ring onto your finger. “And I know this isn't romantic at all and you deserve a better proposal, but this ring belonged to my mother. Now it belongs on your finger and you belong at my side. I know the world I'm a part of is dangerous, but I will love, cherish, and protect you above all else.”

You softly laughed. There was nothing conventional about the impromptu proposal, but there was love behind it. Wasn't that all that mattered? “You may need to convince me to say 'yes',” you teased, gazing at your finger.

“You're the main reason I had my dad killed. Is that a good enough reason?” He smiled, his eyes a bright shade of blue when you smiled in return.

“That's true,” you nodded. He committed murder so you could be together. That was love. “And I know this world is a dangerous place, but there's no one else I'd rather be with because I love you, too.”

Bucky didn't hold back as he thoroughly kissed you, leaving your head spinning by the time he stopped. “I'm never letting you go.”

“You better not. And lucky for both of us, you don't have to get rid of any new boyfriends of mine. Though you may need to apologize to my girlfriends, too.”

“Good because I know you thought you were single, but I may have had to kill another man for touching you. And I think two deaths is enough for today,” he half-joked, pressing one more kiss to your lips. You wouldn't dream of anyone else putting their hands on you. “I will apologize to the girls, but first we need to make up for the time apart. Maybe start in the car? Show you why you should marry me?”

“That's a start,” you said as he helped you to your feet. “Where is the car taking us?”

“Our place if that's what you want,” he answered.

Our place sounds like a dream come true.

“We can go anywhere as long as I'm yours.”

“Told you that you're mine,” he smirked. “And I'm yours.”

As his lips met yours, you knew you would always belong to each other.

WHEW! Did you lovelies make it? What do we think? Love and thanks for reading! This was a whirlwind! ❤️

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