#it’s just the two regular ruin drakes mashed together

[prettybbychim]

i hope some of the upcoming hydro characters will use the hydro hypostasis drops, i don’t think i’ve fought it since i discovered it

they have so many world bosses that are terribly underutilized. esp since they always want the brand new character to use the brand new boss mats, instead of choosing smth more logical

[ghostjellyfishheart]

@transiconlink​ what follows is me fighting the urge to scream over the powerpuff girl script

My expectations were low.  Screenshots I had seen of the script lowered them.  Somehow this is worse than I imagined.

Starting off strong with once upon a time.  But unlike regular once upon a time stories, this one is set in the early two-thousands.

I dont know if this is a warning not to worry because we will get to see more of the three-headed pegasus monster or a “don’t worry the monster isn’t actually scary we only see it briefly.”  I also don’t know which is funnier

So Mojo Jojo was the professor’s lab partner.  The powerpuff girls were born seven years old.  Sure, why not.

Powers he’d use for good, like Elon Musk, but also for his own personal gain, like Elon Musk.  This is an actual line.  Someone was paid to write this.

Bubbles broke into the zoo to make the flamingos get drunk.  This was not the first time she has done this.

I had seen this line in screenshots before.  I was not prepared to read it in the actual script.

Since I do not know what a character bible is I am going to pretend it is the character wiki page.

Sara seems like a decent person.  She feels bad for the teenagers who regularly fight giant swamps.  Can’t wait to see what plot twist cw has in store to make her a monster.

Drake then proceeds to tell his girlfriend he has been living with for over a decade that she is not part of the family.

The powerpuff girls accidentally kill mojo and the band breaks up.

Buttercup is a firefighter.  Good for her.  Shame this is going to get ruined very shortly.  Bubbles tries to make it in Hollywood.  It does not work.  Blossom goes and gets a bunch of degrees.

I would rather watch Bubbles With a Chance of Bubbles then this show.

Jojo is doing well.  He took over as mayor and helped improve Townsville.  He will become a villain, not to avenge his father’s death, but because of reverse discrimination and a lack of free gelato.

Again these are actual lines that people were paid to write.

After failing to conquer Hollywood, Bubbles decided to become a professional vlogger.  Not what actually happened, but if they wanted Bubbles to be doing all the “do it for the camera” stuff it would be funnier if she was telling people to like comment and subscribe.

Good for Sara.  I’m glad she got away from that.  I am going to hope she’s out there living her best life and not about to get dragged back into this bullshit.

Another classic screenshot that I saw before deciding to read the script.

Chem X prevents people from camping.

This right here is the first image I saw of this god forsaken script.

I looked it up.  moveon.org is an actual website.

Blossom: I hope I don’t have a panic attack

*has a panic attack almost immediately*

I don’t know why I decided to make a reaction post when the entire script just makes my brain do static noises.

The Monster Mash deserves better than this.

I’m not even halfway through the script.  I’m going to cry.

No thoughts.  Head in great pain.

Buttercup is done wearing dresses of compulsory heterosexuality and playing straight for the cameras.

Gonna be honest, realizing the Volcano is a dive-bar and not an actual volcano has been the most disappointing part of this script so far.

Bubbles sells engagement rings for drug money.  Y/n’s mom could never.

When I first saw this screenshot I didn’t know Drake was the professor and assumed Blossom was avoiding the rapper.  I did not question this.

This is the second time the script has mentioned gogurt.  This means the gogurt is almost certainly product placement.  I am disappointed in gogurt.

I would rather read fanfiction written in first person than watch this show.

ALSO I AM PASSED THE HALFWAY POINT

FREEDOM IS SO CLOSE AND YET SO FAR

Jojo is worried about his political career.  He decides that breaking into the homes of little girls will help solve the problem.

Crazy dude with Scorpio energy.  Seems about right.

I can feel my brain turning to mush.

The cells are dying.  My brain goes smoother with each line I read.

I have to live with the knowledge that there will be fans of this show who will ship Buttercup and Macy and create a bunch of fan content where they take a u-haul to buy a three acre farm and raise chickens.  I can see it.

If you want a show about child heroes learning to cope with their trauma, watch Steven Universe Future.

Sara makes a comeback.  I am sad that the life I had imagined for her where she got out of Townsville and avoided the cw’s plans for her is ruined.

I can see the cw’s plan.  It involves Sara getting back together with Drake.  I am furious.

The first guess these people make when they don’t find an evil lab is a mass hallucination.  The second is aliens.

Drake invested the trust fund in fidget spinners.  I wish I was surprised.

Is... is this trying to say the original cartoon was a whitewashed version of this story?   Is that what’s happening here??????

This makes the wattpad fics I used to read look good.

I appreciate the use of exclamation points to try and get me excited.

HOW IS THIS REAL??????????

The puff-mobile sprinter van.  Someone wrote those words.  Other people read those words and approved them.

If they kill Drake that means Sara can’t get back with him.  Come on Jojo.

They didn’t reject you for misogynistic reasons.  They rejected you because they were tired of rebuilding downtown every week.

I am losing my mind.  The way this is set up makes it sound like owning furniture from West Elm is what prevents Blossom from being a Powerpuff Girl.

If a quick conversation with an imaginary version of her younger self cures Blossom’s ptsd I am going to through a riot.

Wow

Damn it.

i can no longer form coherent thoughts

No.  Absolutely not.  You will stay away from Sara and let her move on with her life.

I have reached the end.  Reading this took years off my life.