#it’s just another ‘two gay boys in religious households fall in love (despite having no chemistry) and every horrible thing

[wekillitwithfire]

something so off putting about having a book you despise that you genuinely think was not written well or was just. plain bad. and then going onto goodreads and seeing it has like a 4.5 star rating

[eddiediazismyhusband]

i really want a fic of eddie realising him and buck have been falling in love the entire time.

I keep seeing posts (and even had someone tell me) that it’d be unrealistic for Eddie to be in love with Buck and not realise. Like not even think of him as an option. 

But that’s such a real queer person thing- i’ve lived that experience. I’m a women and despite all the times I admired other women it took forever for it to click for me.

I mean I grew up with accepting parents and kind friends and even queer people on tv. I remember looking at girls as much as I looked at boys. And yet I still had the reoccurring thought “I could be gay, I mean i’m not- but I could be. But most people aren’t gay and i’m most people”. (gay being used here in my head to mean “not straight”) AND YET despite it all I didn’t realise i was Bi until I was much older.

And even then, I’d had at least two long term crushes without realising they were crushes before it clicked. 

(I kid you not- it took a drag queen talking to me like i was a toddler for it to click, but that’s a whole other story SO-) 

Whether or not Eddie already knows he’s gay (or demi or whatever) doesn’t really make a difference, cause it’s that same sort of heteronormative internalising that causes these feeling to not be understood. 

Especially for Eddies character who’s had this messy norm with Shannon for so long, a stable thing to grasp (even when their relationship was a mess) and then her death and him chasing to find that weak grasp to SOMETHING again- something that can be another excuse to not go looking for himself. 

Like he’s internalised this behaviour of, “if i’m in a relationship, I don’t have to look deep and figure out why it’s not working” and never quite realising that maybe the reason it’s not working is cause he’s trying to replace something that was never really real.

(Speaking of, Eddie and Shannon are the epitome of loml by taylor swift. I mean- “we were just kids babe” “from one kiss to getting married” “something counterfeits dead” “what a valiant roar, what a bland goodbye” “i’m combing through the band of lies- “i’ll never leave” never mind”) 

babe you are speaking to the POSTER CHILD of raised in a religious household and convinced themselves they weren’t queer until it was staring them in the face

the biggest issue is that most (again i said most before yall try to jump down my throat) of the people who are against buddie are either straight people who don’t understand the nuances of queerness, or queer people who didn’t grow up in environments of oppression and have never felt the need to hide themselves

i used to tell my parents i had crushes on girls only to later realize that it was because i just had a genuine platonic connection with them (two of whom are my best friends and are also queer women) and i used to get confused about what the difference between attraction and admiration was— something a LOT of queer people go through without realizing.

comphet is literally such a widespread phenomenon that people truly don’t realize just how common it is— like even queer people don’t realize they probably know several “straight” people who are still lying to themselves bc sexuality isn’t black and white— it exists on a spectrum. I’m not saying that to invalidate anyone’s straightness, im just saying i know multiple men who are my dads age (60s +) who only recently came to the realization that they were gay.

it’s genuinely so disappointing to see some of the people in this fandom pushing homophobic talking points from history just to disprove a character’s implied queerness bc they view that character’s queerness as a threat to their ship.

anyway, i agree eddie and shannon’s relationship is soooooo unconscious lavender marriage coded to me and there are SO MANY beautiful TS lyrics that apply to that… another song that i really feel like captures Eddie’s pov of the relationship is Home by One Direction… especially these lyrics:

[alarriefantasy]

do you know of any fics where they are christians and they follow kinda that typical “christian relationship”? no angst please, i get so sad reading it. thank you, love your blog!!

Here you go! I swore I had made this one already, but alas, I have not! Hope you like some of these! The ones starred (*) are the ones that don’t have angst! :) :)

                                         Religion Fic Rec

*how many secrets can you keep? by xxPayne

Words: 11k

Harry, a homophobic Christian, joins Louis' gay-straight alliance club at school, hoping to somehow attract lesbians (he'll work out the logistics later). Louis shows him what he didn't know he was actually there for.

*all i trust, i leave my heart to by prettyoddnjh

Words: 13k

Salzburg, Austria. 1938.

Harry Styles is a young man who, despite his protests, will never be a Catholic priest. He is assigned a summer job as a governor for the six siblings of Mr. Tomlinson, a wealthy ex-navy soldier who runs his household like a navy ship. They fall in love.

The Sound of Music AU that a couple people did ask for, if you can believe it.

*Have A Little Faith In Me by FallingLikeThis 

Words: 15k

Harry Styles remembers Louis Tomlinson fondly. They used to spend the summers bonding at Bible Camp, helping each other memorize bible verses for their weekly challenge against the boys in the other cabins, and chatting into the early hours of morning when they were supposed to be sleeping. They had been so close back then. Harry was heartbroken when Louis hadn’t been there last summer. He’d heard rumors, vague comments about how Louis had changed but he didn’t believe them. He couldn’t. Because the other boys, the ones from Louis’ home town, were saying that he’d started getting piercings and tattoos, that he’d come out as gay, and that he’d turned his back on God.

Harry had thought he’d never find it in himself to believe them but the image before his eyes has him suddenly questioning everything.

*and the truth shall set you free (...maybe) by jaerie 

Words: 17k

Betism: A religion based on the belief that the beta gender has been chosen by God to protect and defend the purity and dignity of the human race by resisting and condemning the lustful ways and flawed biology of the alpha and omega

Harry is a Betist and Louis is an alpha who runs with a bad crowd. This is what happens when two worlds collide.

*secret little rendezvous. by orphan_account

Words: 17k

Louis is a priest struggling with his temptations and Harry is the irresistible stripper/sex worker that helps open his eyes up into a whole new world of sinful pleasure.

We'll Rise Up by FallingLikeThis 

Words: 18k

Louis is a Pastor with no church and a heart filled with uncertainty. Pastor Payne is more than willing to give Louis a new place to work, but it's Music Director Harry that helps him rebuild his faith.

*You Make Me Want To Sin by lonelymisfit

Words: 28k

Or the very bregruding college AU where Louis is a bad ass frat boy and Harry is a shy and conservative catholic boy who wants to know whether Louis can show him what else he can do on his knees besides pray.

so keep my candle bright by whisperdlullaby

Words: 78k

louis returns to his hometown after four years to find that the reverend’s son has done some growing up of his own.

*Hate Me To The Moon by harrystylesandstuff

Words: 83k

The last thing Harry wanted was to spend his entire summer stuck with his dad's new fiancée and her kids. He wants no more when he learns she's a very religious dictator, raising a sixteen year old nun and a clean cut potential priest ass kisser.

Everything takes a slightly different turn, however, when Harry finds out his future step-brother is actually the rude stranger he caught sucking off a guy in a pub, far from the reserved Christian his mom thinks he is...

AU where Harry is a sexy nerd, Louis is a great actor, and they both pretend to hate each other's guts to convince themselves they're not feeling things future step-brothers shouldn't feel...

Cold by RealName

Words: 87k

Harry Styles hated the minister's son.

Louis Tomlinson was brash, obnoxious and possessed all the attributes that Harry deemed unlikable in another person. Unfortunately, they attended the same Bible studies class at church and their mothers were best friends, so avoiding the other boy was impossible.

Promise in the Sky by Throwthemflowers

Words: 99k

AU in which Harry Styles, a naïve, repressed, socially awkward Midwestern highschooler tries to navigate his fundamentalist evangelical parents and radically progressive older sister. He’s doing an okay job of this until the Tomlinson family starts attending Lakeside Baptist Church and a boy named Louis changes everything. Harry is forced to come to grips with his true self when Louis becomes more than just his best friend; but their relationship opens a can of worms and sends them on the most painful, heartbreaking journey of their young lives. They risk everything and nearly lose, and Harry learns that perhaps only one Bible verse is true: that perfect love casteth out fear.

Turning From Praise (Punk!Harry Christian!Louis) by capriciouslouis

Words; 128k

Louis has had a strict Christian upbringing that he never realized he resented until he meets Harry Styles, a boy who lives to rebel and doesn’t give a damn what anyone else thinks. But the better he gets to know Harry, the more he begins to realize that maybe Harry does care. And maybe “the children who God forgot” are closer to God than the devout will ever be.

Change My Mind by larry_love13

Words: 155k

Louis was a devout Christian family man with a wife and ten kids who lived a seemingly happy and idyllic life in Oklahoma. He always felt something was missing but he could never figure out what until he met Harry Styles, who made him question every single value he'd ever held dear, including his relationship to God AND his marriage. Harry, a devoutly religious young college student struggling with his own family and personal issues turned to Louis for guidance. They both end up learning a lot about themselves, each other, and their religion as they change a few minds-including their own-during their journey.

Shake Me Down by AGreatPerhaps12

Words: 208k

Harry's new to college, fresh out of Catholic school and conversion therapy camp, and Louis runs the campus LGBTQIA organization.

credit to the owner of the manip