#it’s interesting to think of it from the theming of ‘hold yourself accountable before your buddy makes things worse for you too’

[crowfeathers]

I know curly is written to have fucked up pretty bad for anya (not nearly as bad as jimmy, obviously, but badly) and it's good to remind everyone that he's had to "take responsibility" too, but, like... well the story already kinda resolves that by having him physically face the consequences of not punishing his friend. bro lost all of his limbs and his skin and watched his entire crew die off one by one I think he got the memo

[fandomwritingbit]

💀Hallowe'en Special💀

After Hours,

Springtrap x fem reader

Synop: Sneaking into a horror attraction after dark was really fucking stupid and you're about to find out just how much. 

A/n: I totally get that this probably isn't everyone's cup of tea, so please be warned, also bare in mind writing for Springtrap is completely new for me.

Warnings: Springtrap/william afton. Explicit non-con/rape. Violence. Threat. Themes of kidnapping.

Credit to image creator.

It was everything you expected and more.

The building reeked of lack of care, practically falling apart with all its paint peeling and the half illuminated sign. It looks creepy as fuck. That's why you came. 

You love to be scared. And this place has the potential to be truly terrifying. 

You spoke to a friend of yours who told you they'd done exactly this a week or so ago. And it was soooo much better after hours, when you can go where you want to and do what you want to; which in your case is dick around with the animatronics. They were supposed to come along as well but flaked out last minute, leaving you standing in front of the place on your lonesome. But you’re not one to be defeated by a shit friend not showing, so you’re still going to go in.

And so, with your phone torch lighting your way you go to the back of the building. And unsurprisingly you're greeted with a high fence with its gate chained closed. That isn't going to stop you though. Smirking, you throw your backpack over the fence and then slide your phone under it, torch up so you can sort of see what you're doing. 

One foot wedges in the metal, the toe of your shoe just able to fit through the diamond-shaped gap enough to give you purchase, letting you slot your other foot in the gap a little higher up. It was easy really, almost like they wanted you to hop over it, no anti-climb or spikes or anything. At the top of the fence you sit for a moment, wishing you kept hold of your phone for a photo here, illuminated by the solitary light of the building sign. Oh well, there's always the opportunity on the way out. 

You jump down, careful to land with bended knees, if you hurt yourself you wouldn’t exactly be able to call an ambulance. From there you dust yourself off for a minute and grab all your stuff, wincing when the harsh light of your phone catches your eye. 

"And now the fun begins." You whisper to yourself, as you slip around the building, quickly laying your eyes on the back door, which according to your mate was easy pickings, quite literally. Shoving your makeshift kit into the lock, it only takes a few moments of jiggling in before, hey presto, the bitch clicks open. It really was too easy. 

Inside, you flash your torch around this hallway, thinking to yourself that it looks like a 'back-stage' area with all the clutter and, god, the dust, which now flitted through the air disturbed by your movement. Honestly, with the amount of it caked on everything you wouldn’t think that this place was operational. Box after box lay on the chequered tile floor and you follow them down the corridor, checking door handles along your way. 

One opens to reveal a small cupboard filled with toilet roll and cleaning supplies. Another to one with stacks of papers, documents of some kind, probably accounts or some shit, but seriously who keeps paper copies nowadays? But the third one was the most interesting one. 

The metal door was a labour to open, scraping into the floor over a mark from others doing the same thing, the room was dark but you can tell instantly that it’s much bigger than the previous two. You use your phone torch to scan through the pitch black, revealing the jackpot. Animatronic heads are mounted on the wall like the room belongs to some kind of a  game hunter. Pointing the light down, you see the rest of the beasts, huge chest cases and clumpy-looking feet littered along the floor And in the corner the skeletons, light bouncing off them back at you, their eyes reflecting red. 

“Ho-ly shit…” You say into the darkness, grinning from ear to ear. This place was fucking insane, in the absloute best way. You waste no time inserting yourself in the room, placing huge metal heads over your shoulders and snapping a few pics looking like some demonic purple rabbit. Then some more with your arm draped over these endo-skeleton things, these took you a bit longer to build the courage to touch because fuck, their eyes were staring right into the depths of your soul. But once you did touch them and they didn’t pounce on you, you felt reassured enough to tackle anything else this creepy attraction would throw at you. 

After about ten minutes in your photoshoot, you leave the room wanting to see more than the behind the scenes stuff, you may as well see all the bits the normies get to see. Looking online earlier you knew all about the set up, creepy 80s looking corridors designed to mirror an old pizzeria chain, where apparently some kids had gone missing. Patrons could even sit inside the faux-security office taking shifts trying not to jump out of their skins as robotic creatures stalked them. Now that, you’re dying to see. 

It takes you no time to find the corridors leading to the security office, on the way discovering the dormant animatronics. One a seven foot fucking teddy bear, another a beat up looking rabbit. Golden- or maybe green, it’s hard to tell in the absence of light. This one is particularly nerve-wracking, something about its stance, it’s head tilted to the side but its eyes looking up. 

“Fuuuuck,” you giggle, angling your head to look into the creature’s mouth, open only slightly. “the designers did a good job on you, shit…” It’s only when your face gets very close to it, the robot shifts, its metallic body struggling loudly in the otherwise silent building. You flinch hard, body shoving itself away from it, thudding against the wall hard enough to wind yourself. It quickly halts, the movement dying when its head fully rears. 

You breathe out shakily, laughing at your own stupidity, clearly you triggered some kind of motion sensor and paid the price for it. You shake your head at the beast, moving away from it down the corridor and into the office, careful not to get too close to anything else that could try to scare the shit out of you. You finally manage it, and step into the office through a doorway without the actual door part, an excited smile spreading across your face. This is so fucking cool, you think, crouching down to look at a monitor on the desk, then deciding to sit in the grimy swivel chair in front of it. You then notice that the desk has drawers in it and move to look through them, an eagerly curious part of you taking over. The top one is full of a tonne of random shit sellotape, paperclips, a computer mouse and its ancient cord. The one underneath though, sticks, you rive it hard to try and open it, even more intrigued that it wouldn’t open. You jiggle it hard, the rattle echoing in the large room, but your efforts amount to fuck all and it doesnt move an inch. 

You sigh, calling the drawer a bastard under your breath and recline a little in the seat, closing your eyes for a moment. When you open them you nearly jump six feet in the air at the sight of that fucking animatronic from earlier, the yellow bunny, standing in the the doorway, it’s huge head peeking round the corner, staring directly at you. How in god’s name didn’t you hear the fucking thing move? It must weigh loads and it looks old, so there’s no way it can move silently.

“God, this place.” you say, to yourself, to the room, it doesn’t matter. You’ve had enough scares for tonight, it’s probably best if you bail before you trigger any other attractions. No longer smiling, you stand up hesitantly, moving slowly and consciously. Some kind of dread now hanging in the air because this fucking rabbit is really creepy.

You walk up to the door and carefully squeeze yourself through the gap, desperate to not touch the thing. Managing it, you outwardly sigh, that was a small mercy because some loud noise from the robot would probably give you a heart attack right now. You step away from it, ready to get yourself out of here. But the second your back is turned the most agonising sound makes you freeze. 

Breathing. Raspy, pained, human, fucking breathing. 

Your turning around is prevented by the cold grip on your throat, backing you up against its metal body, its lack of body heat making goosebumps spring over you instantly. Uselessly, you push against its hold, instinctively wanting to get away from it and the reality of what was happening. But your struggling just makes it grip you harder, thick plastic fingers tight on the base of your throat. 

A deeply coarse sound vibrates from the creature, a breathy sound that takes you a while to realise is laughter. Laughter cold and mean, making your heart hammer in your chest. “What stupid little girl snoops around in the dark on her own?” Each word sounds painful, it must take the thing sheer will to push past such agony just to taunt you.

You tremble, “What- what are you?” the words so quietly terrified you can’t believe they’re your own. There’s no way this is part of the attraction. Just no way anyone would program this to grab patrons so violently. This was something all too wrong and all too real. 

Without warning or hesitation the creature uses your throat as leverage to slam you against the wall, there’s no room for protest or struggling, it’s power is inhumanly strong. You cry out when your body hits the concrete, its unfeeling coolness stark contrast to the fretful heat coming from you. The robot’s head cranes down above yours, a subtle clicking alerting you to every slight movement. You’re winded, energy trickling down your face as tears when you’re dawned to the terrifying conclusion that you’re trapped.

It finally answers you, the raspy voice coiling your stomach in fear. “Your worst fucking nightmare.” The creature must hear you sob in response because again it- he laughs, it’s cold and mocking. Only stopping when he takes the time to parrot your desperate fearful noises back at you, making himself laugh again. It’s becoming clear to you that this must be a person, someone inside this awful thing, an employee gone rogue, trying to scare the living daylights out of people stupid enough to break in… maybe. But that voice…

“You’re hurting me.” You choke out, unsure of what you’re trying to accomplish. Internally reasoning that people have empathy and people can be talked down, you hope that he’ll let you go but it seems more and more unlikely by the second. The hand on the back of your head flexes, tangling in your hair and yanking your head upwards so you can glimpse him out of the corner of your eyes and the sight is just awful. 

The inexpressive face comes close as the man inside hisses through the rabbit mask, “You don’t know the meaning of hurt.”  

“Look,” you whimper, “I’m sorry- I shouldn’t have come here.” The words are near incomprehensible through your tears. “God, I shouldn’t have come here…” You repeat, body convulsing under the monster’s grip. Your crying is loud in the corridor, echoing off the hard floors and mirroring the heartbreaking sound back at you. You're lost in it for a couple of seconds whilst this thing seems to just enjoy the sound, before the air is knocked from your lungs by the creature’s hand trailing down the arch of your back, all the way down to your behind where he grabs a hard handful of your flesh. It’s so unexpected that you just stare at what you can see of him over your shoulder, now silently shaking. The action turns your stomach, it doesn’t hurt but it’s rough and riddled with intent. 

His other hand moves, turning you around before again shoving you to the wall and caging you in with his massive frame, using that insane strength to push you down to your knees. “No,” He almost coos, “You shouldn’t have. But don’t worry… I won’t let you go to waste.” 

Whilst you're still making sense of the words, the monster grabs itself at the waist, huge fingers prying between the metal plates and rummaging until he frees his very human and very real penis. You don't want this and the disdain is evident in your eyes, but a dark part of you thinks that to please him will make him let you go. He holds himself before you, there's no illusion even with the suit that he's huge and the thought scares you.

The metallic hand in your hair pulls your head towards him and you obey, fear making you compliant. He smears himself against your lips, precum already leaking from his tip and laying warm on your face. He doesn't have to tell you to open your mouth, the rough tilting of your head is enough, and you hesitantly part your lips, flinching when he yanks you towards him. Your eyes involuntarily close when he shoves his cock in your mouth, he doesn't hold back, pushing himself as far in your throat as he can before you gag, your hands frenzied grabbing at the creature's hips. He pulls back for a moment before shoving back in repeatedly, forcing your jaw open to accept him each time. 

He grunts, burying himself inside your throat and holding you still. "You'll have to do better than that, if you're scared of me hurting you." The snarl in his voice makes your eyes wide with realisation of what he wants. You obey without question, hollowing your cheeks and sucking him as good as you can, his grip relenting enough to let you. Swirling your tongue on the underside of his shaft with only the goal of getting this over with as soon as possible. It’s like he knows and the huge hand in your hair slows your movement, forcing you to take him slow and deep, revelling in the feeling of your hot mouth and the frantic way your eyes dart around. 

The salty taste of his big cock stirs you, and each time he uses your mouth it makes your heat betray the pain of his brutal hold. It’s instinctual and even though your mind is against it your body is reacting. Trying to push the conflicting feelings from your mind you continue sucking, an eagerness spurring you on when he groans, he’s close, you can tell from the leniency in his grip. But just as you’re getting your hopes up that he’s going to finish, he pulls your lips from him, making you look up at the terrifying form above you. The sudden dread that sizzles through you is inexplicable, it’s almost as though you forgot how horrifying this costume was and the reminder shocks your core. 

You look so frightened kneeling there, your pupils tiny and your lips still parted, saliva dripping down your chin that underneath the mask he smirks cruelly, the action painful enough to make his cock twitch. With how warm and slick your mouth was, he can only imagine how tight your little cunt is going to be, fuck it’s been so long since he last broke a pretty thing like you. He’s going to savour it. 

“Stand up.” The monster commands, the raspy voice insanely harsh. You obey without question your legs trembling as all trace of hope leaves you, all chance of this ending any time soon trickled between your legs. As soon as you reach your feet his large hand grabs your shoulder shoving you forwards, back towards that old guard’s office you left only minutes ago, but it felt like years. Stumbling through the doorway, the brief idea of running flashes through your mind, but you’re too scared, you don’t want to make what this man was going to do worse. 

You don’t have the chance anyway, with crazy strength he catches your arm, forcing your body down onto the desk in front of you. A pathetic whimper leaves your lips at the rough action, your whole body still shaking. Once he has you where he wants you, the creature’s huge hands rake over your body, no gentleness or intimacy in his touch, just pure malicious lust. He gabs at your breasts, fingers digging harshly into the sensitive skin, then roughly pulling up the fabric of your shirt, so roughly the material tears. You’d be cold if not for the raging adrenaline in your veins. At the sight of your naked torso the mascot bears down on you, no emotion in its dead eyes, “Such a stupid girl, coming here, getting yourself in trouble. Is this what you wanted, huh?” To punctuate the question he takes hold of your face, squeezing your cheeks so that you let out a shaky gasp. 

You wrap your fingers around his wrist, pulling against the hold that was making your teeth hurt, but he doesn’t move an inch. At your silence he grabs your left tit pinching your nipple so hard your body raises from the desk to try and escape it. “Huh?” He snarls again. And you try to shake your head, but with no way to move you’re forced to speak. 

“No-o.” Your voice cracks, your answer making the creature above you grind his cock against your thigh, the godforsaken suit preventing him from touching himself, his own unique fucking torture. His mocking spurs a sudden surge of fight  and sees your legs rise and kick hard at his chest, the dull thud of striking metal echoing in the dark room. It’s useless, and his laughing is only proof. He holds your legs against his chest with one hand, using the other to tug down your legging and the panties you were wearing underneath, taking them completely from your body and discarding them on the dirty floor. 

Looking down at your wet cunt he near growls, such a slick little fucktoy that walked right into his grasp. Cold metallic fingers trace over your entrance, pulling your folds apart to see the trembling of your hole, your unwanted wetness coating his fingers. You hate yourself for being aroused but maybe it’s for the best, maybe it’ll make this more bearable. You quiver when his digit pokes inside you the costume fingers large enough to stretch you open when he sinks in, you groan the invasion pressing against a coil in your core. Seeing how your pussy swallowed his finger so well, tight around him when he fucked it in and out made him pull away, needing his hands to hold your thighs down as he rubbed the head of his dick against your entrance. Desperate to feel the grip of your walls on one of the only parts of him that remained intact. 

He shoves into you roughly, forcing your walls to accept him, all air in your lungs leaving in a suffered groan. He’s thick and long and pushing to the hilt you feel more than full, like he was taking you over, touching all of you at once. The stretch burned but the pain quickly dulled when he began rutting into you, a selfishly brutal pace that had you helplessly gasping. He fucks you as deep as the suit will allow him, the waist of the costume slamming into your hips so hard the desk thudded against the floor. 

It’s like you’re outside of your body looking at the scene, feeling his hands move to lift your body from the desk, holding you and manipulating the angle of his pounding to suit him. Shoving into the part of you that makes you scream and your juices spill around the base of his cock. It doesn't feel real, but at the same time is brutally so an unwilling pleasure seizing hold of you and making you clench around his length. He groans,not stopping his pace as you begin to flutter around him, what a filthy fucking thing you are to enjoy this, he thinks, the thought making him fuck you harder. Forceful thrusts that quickly beginning to stutter as the monster nears his end, bursting inside you like an animal and stuffing you full of him. You’re dirty, used and broken, letting the cum seep around him, dripping down onto the desk. 

He holds you still for what feels like hours before dropping you down onto the slick tabletop, leaving you to crumple on the floor. There’s no coherent thoughts in your mind, just a frightening emptiness as you get to your knees and crawl over to where he threw your clothes, hands shaking as you try to gather them up. He chuckles at your form, bruises already beginning to show on your hips and thighs, before slowly walking to you, a cold metal foot shoving you over, your body thudding into the floor. 

“Now, where do you think you’re going?”

A/n: Here it is. My second Hallowe'en event, thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed. I know this is very different to the kind of thing I usually write, but heck, why not try something new. X

Stay tuned for my third fic!

[back2bluesidex]

Hard Luck - JJK & KTH (18+) - Chapter 1

◆ Pairing: CEO Jungkook X Fem employee Reader X Legal advisor Taehyung. 

◆ Summary: You have a good face, a nice body, a fat amount saved in your secondary bank account, a stable job that you love, loving friends and family, you are good in bed. You have almost everything other than a good luck in love. Sleeping around with random dudes don’t feel enough when your friends are getting married and having kids. If you are being honest, you have started getting bored of this prolonged singlehood already. 

Your last light of hope fades away when your work crush, aka the hot guy from the legal department, Kim Taehyung (with whom you might or might not have slept once, okay! twice!), asks you to set him up with your work best friend (who, apparently, is the most asked out woman of the company). But what you don’t know is that the CEO of the company has taken a liking to you and has started on a mission of winning your heart. 

But wait… Taehyung might have started developing feelings for you in the process of receiving your help.

◆ Chapter summary: Two meetings - One went good - another went downhill.

◆ Theme: Romance, drama, light angst, my poor attempt of humor, fluff and eventual smut. office romance au,

◆ Warnings: Tiny bit angst.

◆ Word count: 3.2k+

◆ A/N: let me know your thoughts.

Minors aren't allowed in this blog!!!!

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You have a very love-hate relationship with weekends. 

Love because who the hell doesn’t like free times, no rush to drive to work, a quiet time on their couch with some unhealthy snacks and a good movie playing on the TV? 

Hate because weekends make you feel alone. Today is just a copy of yesterday.  

On most Friday nights you end up going drinking with your teammates, save your Saturdays for your friends and your precious Sundays are for yourself and yourself only. 

But lately, your said friends have changed, not by choice but by circumstances. Two of them are married, one is engaged and another just started dating after a prolonged singlehood - leaving you completely out of the order. Now they name most of their Saturdays to their partners, which makes you angry but you know that’s the only normal thing to do. 

So, now you are the one that neither has a partner and nor anyone to spend most of your Saturdays with. 

You sigh as you scroll through netflix. 

There is nothing that catches your eyes, intrigues you enough to start watching. 

Just when you are about to read the description of this new cheesy romcom, your phone vibrates with a call. 

It’s your mom - she calls you ten times a day. 

“Hmmm?” you greet her absent-mindedly. 

“Mia just gave birth to a baby boy!!!” she squeals on the other side of the phone. You can feel her excitement through the vibration of her digitized voice. 

The news lights you up as well. Mia is your favorite cousin and older than you by a year only. 

“Really? Woah! Is the baby fine? Is she fine?” 

“Both of them are fine, ddal.” Your mother, now, replies calmly, “it’s only me who is not.” 

“What? What happened? Joint-pain again?” you sit up on the couch. 

“No. That's not it.” your mother whines. You love to hear her whines. 

“Then?” 

“When will I have my grandchild?” she huffs, making you laugh. 

“Eomma, I’m only 27.” you remind her. 

“That’s why I am reminding you, darling. If you start looking for a man now, you will be able to gift me a grandchild before I hit seventy.”  

The mention of a ‘man’ draws a very particular face on your vision. 

You know you should not think too much, read too much into someone’s actions. But at this age, when you already started feeling alone, feeling the desire for someone to come back home to, you can’t help but to feel the need of holding the next best person who shows you a silver of interest. 

And Taehyung has shown a lot of it. 

You will win in life if you manage to bag someone as nice, hot, handsome and successful as him. 

“Maybe… maybe very soon, eomma.” you add a trail of words to end your thoughts. 

“Omo! Really? Are you seeing someone?” she’s now way too much excited and her excitement makes you want more from the guy who only fucked you twice. 

“No- it’s not that. I am just talking about the possibilities.” your voice sounds frail for some reason. Possibility is what it is. Nothing is confirmed. 

You know you have a crush on Taehyung but at the same time you have no idea if there is more than just lust in his mind.

You try not to think of negative things and engage your mother in off-topic conversations. But in the back of your mind, Taehyung stays still, with his baritone voice and boxy smile. 

“Good morning, sweetheart” Hani, the colleague you are the closest to, chirps in with her sweet voice. 

She is the epitome of perfection. 

The girl looks like a goddess, very friendly, the life of the party, smiles at everyone - doesn’t really matter if she knows them or not, is an amazing cook, and good at the job she does. 

Her amazing persona accompanied by that next level face card, makes her the most desired woman of the company. 

There is hardly any bachelor who hasn’t asked her out yet. And Taehyung is one of them (which makes you think that he must be into you). 

Sometimes you are jealous of her - okay! Scratch that! Most of the time you are jealous of her ability to make friends, to have people wrapped around her fingers without having to do anything while you practically have to beg your own friends to spend their weekends with you. 

And being asked out? That’s a completely different story. 

What you have understood from your experience is that guys love to have you on their bed. You are a good fuck, you know that. But a wife material? No. 

You are way too aloof, emotionally unattached to entertain anyone more than normal boundaries allow you to. Hence, you end up pushing people away.  

And now - at an age where you should be in a long term relationship - you are alone. 

“Good morning, Hani.” you reply with a genuine smile gracing your lips. Honestly, very few people can pull a genuine smile out of you and Hani is certainly one of them. 

Had it been anyone else as popular as her, they would have a big fat ego. But Hani is different and that’s why you love her. 

“How was the weekend?” she asks, placing her order for her usual iced americano. You still don’t understand how people consume this as the first thing in the morning. It’s nothing but cold and bitter.  

You grab your iced vanilla latte and take a mouth full of the sweetness, “as usual. Boring. Only me and my couch and netflix” 

“Oh? You could have called me in. I was mostly alone too.” she sips her aa-aa, and makes a delightful face. You scrunch your nose at that. 

“Really? I thought you do those volunteering stuff on weekends?” you two walk towards the elevator while sipping on your beverages. 

“That’s for day-time. I am usually free during the nights. So, try calling me if you need a companion.” she eyes you expectantly. 

You know she feels alone too, just like you. 

Hani came out of her two year long relationship just a few months ago. She probably feels alone during her free time as her partner is not there to entertain her anymore. 

And maybe it’s a good idea. 

Even though you don’t like to extend your professional relationships beyond the gates of your workplace - Hani can be different. 

You can take this friendship a little further, you guess. 

The elevator door slides open, revealing a certain someone you look for a lot these days. 

Taehyung smiles brightly at you. Two strands of his dark hair fall on his forehead, his siren eyes are full of mirth as they quickly dip down to check you out. But then his eyes fall on Hani. And if you are not wrong then they have a brief eye-contact before someone behind asks you and your friend to get inside and make space already. 

An odd feeling blooms inside your chest. 

Taehyung checked you out, that’s for sure. But what were those love eyes that he regarded Hani with? Did he just fall in love at first sight or something of that sort? 

You settle inside the dingy space of the elevator rather uncomfortably - both physically and metaphorically. 

Hani is standing in front of you and Taehyung is just behind your back. You are sandwiched between the two of them and weirdly enough - you don’t feel too good about the situation. Because you can see Taehyung staring at Hani through the glazed metal door or the elevator. Something churns inside of you at the thought of Taehyung being smitten by your work best friend. 

But maybe you are thinking too much? Maybe time will soon prove you wrong. 

Wrong. Everything is wrong. 

Your teammates do an impressive job everyday except for the days when there is an important meeting and you need documented reports. 

Today is one of those days. And today is even more horrifying because this will be your very first meeting with the new CEO who took over less than a month ago. 

Streets say he is as strict as his father if not more. That’s basically all you know about Jeon Jungkook. You don’t know what he looks like or what he sounds like. And that makes you anxious. 

The prospect of having an one-on-one meeting with the new, young CEO has been freaking you out already and now your subordinate had to do a sloppy reporting job.  

“Oh lord! Sooho! Why did you write ‘no penetration this month’ when the chart is at its peak?” You don’t like to scream at all but the migraine that is climbing up through the path of your neck mixes with your frustration and turns your sentence a little more high pitched than what you usually use. 

“Oh?” your teammate blinks at you being dumbfounded, “is that called penetration?” 

“Yes of course? What did you think? We are asking about your sex life in the reports?” you can’t help but mock the boy. 

Laughter echoes through your workspace but it quickly dies down when you glare at your teammates. They mumble apologies but you pretend not to hear any of it. 

“Sorry, seonbae. I will fix it right away.” he runs towards his cubicle. 

“You have five minutes.” you issue a warning. Taking your phone in your hands, you find a text sitting on your screen. 

Taetae: Any plans tonight?

Your chest heaves with the long breath that you inhale upon reading the text. See… Taehyung still wants to see you! It’s you he wants to see! And you went on an overdrive thinking he might ditch you now and start chasing Hani like the other men of the office. 

Your nails clink against your phone screen as you type your reply. 

You: nope. 

You don’t even get the chance of putting down your phone because his reply comes right away. 

Taetae: Then let's get a coffee after work. I will wait at the lounge. 

You: Sounds cool. 

You don’t know what you feel about this one-on-one meeting situation. 

The previous CEO, Mr. Jeon Jae Gyeong, had meetings with all of the department heads at once and got done with it. 

But the younger Mr. Jeon has sent out emails to everyone stating very clearly that he would be changing the meeting format. 

So, now you are here. Waiting outside his massive office (that could fit your entire workspace and still leave space for a snack pantry), on the verge of an anxiety attack. 

The more you wait, the more restless you feel. Your heels start tapping against the floor creating a rapid sound. The CEO’s assistant, a beautiful guy with blonde hair and soft features, looks at you with an assuring smile - as if to tell you that ‘it’s okay. Don’t get your nerves worked up.’ 

you smile back at him feeling a tiny bit better. 

Just then the huge door of the CEO’s office slides open. The head of the finance team walks out and from the look on his face you can tell that his meeting didn’t go too well. 

Your throat dries at the assumption of what you might face when you go inside. 

You are not going to get fired, right? Right?!

Mr. Bae, the finance head, walks out in haste heightening your anxiety even more. 

Just then the assistant receives a call on his line and murmurs something. He looks at you and says, “you may go inside now.” 

Your legs almost give out. You start planning to go home and update your resume to look for opportunities.  

Taking a long breath, you push the door open. 

Your eyes fall on the prominent figure that is sitting on the large mahogany table. His eyes are focused on the ipad. Mouth shut tight, lips pursed, his downturned face is casted with a shadow, which prevents you from taking a good look at his face. 

What you see is the silver ring that glints on his eyebrow. And are those tattoos on his hand? 

Even if he heard you coming in he clearly didn’t plan on providing you with any of his attention. 

“May I come in, Mr. Jeon?” you curse at the way there is zero confidence in your voice. 

He then looks up at you and locks his eyes with yours. 

Holy shit! He is handsome! 

Your chest heaves with another long breath. 

You wait for him to call you inside but he just sits still staring at you with big doe eyes. His gaze is piercing, intimidating and makes you weak on your knees. 

His Adam's apple bobs as he gulps once before clearing his throat, “Miss Y/N. Please come in.” 

You take careful steps towards his desk praying that you don’t trip and embarrass yourself. He ushers his hand towards the chair, asking you to take a seat voicelessly. 

You do as he asks. 

“How are you doing, Miss Y/N?” Jeon Jungkook asks without diverting his piercing gaze from yours. 

He is looking at you so intently as if he has known you for a long time. 

You give him an easy smile, “I’m doing fine, Mr.Jeon. What about you?” you return his courtesy. 

“Doing great.” Jeon Jungkook gives you a very pretty, heart fluttering kind of smile. 

If your heart really flutters a little  - you are not going to dwell upon it. 

“So, let’s talk about work.” he hums as he dives into his laptop and probably opens the reports you have mailed him earlier. 

Taking a minute to check all the reports, he opens his mouth to speak, “pretty impressive. I have gone through the reports from previous months as well and as I am seeing this month's reports - you have been bringing great results. Online traffic is at an all-time high, ad-clicks have gone past the five million mark, there are an average of 20 real-time users and at least 5 of them are from the states. Great. I must say” he pauses to look at you, “I am very impressed.” The last part of his sentence comes out breezy, a little bit suggestive as if his words are not only about your work. 

Your stomach feels light. 

“Thank you sir.” that’s all you manage to reply. Absent-mindedly you take your lower-lip in between your teeth and nip on it. 

The action catches Jungkook’s eyes. 

“Are you nervous?” he places a very unexpected question, catching you off-guard. 

“Ah- yeah. I mean, It’s my very first encounter with you as the CEO, so I could not help being a bit anxious. Apologies if my actions have disappointed you in any way.” you straighten your back and speak confidently this time. 

He doesn’t seem rude at all. You allow yourself to feel at ease. 

“Don’t worry about that. I get you. But be assured I am not going to eat you up.” he giggles. His giggle makes you break into a smile as well. 

“That’s all for the day. Looking forward to working with you…” Jungkook extends his hand towards you. You wrap your smaller one around his palm and he mutters, “...closely.”  

When you look into his eyes, you see mischief. 

“Sure.” you reply, sucking in all the air you could. 

By the time you come out of his room, your heart is thumping inside your ears. 

What the fuck was that? How is he so handsome? And what were those eyes he looked at you with? Why did he murmur ‘closely’ like that? 

No! You are overthinking again! You scold yourself. 

The assistant gives you another smile as you bow at him a little and walk away. You find Hani waiting to be called inside. 

When she sees you, she approaches you with a nervous grin, “how is the new CEO?” she whisper-yells. 

“Very nice and handsome.” you whisper back. She makes an “O” with her mouth before she gets called inside. 

You check your lips once more in the mirror. 

Being too focused on perfecting your lip liner, you don’t see Hani coming inside the washroom. You only become attentive of her presence when she smacks your ass. 

“Ouch!” a painful groan leaves your lips, “don’t do this! People might think we are dating!” 

“I’d have totally dated you if I wasn’t straight.” Hani chuckles standing beside you, “what’s the occasion tho? Have a date or something?” 

“Nope. Gonna meet Taehyung for a quick coffee.” 

Hani’s eyes wide at that, “Taehyung? As in Kim Taehyung from the legal team?” 

“Yup.” 

“Ohh hooo” she sings “I didn’t know you guys have coffees with each other, huh?” 

“It’s not what you think, Hani.” you look at her, raising a brow. 

“Oh? Really? But I think he is a good guy. He even greeted me when we met during lunch and I’m sure he didn’t even know me before this morning.” 

Huh? Taehyung greeted Hani? That’s weird. Because he hardly ever smiles at people he doesn’t know properly. 

You don’t let your expression give away your thoughts when you murmur a little ‘yeah’ to your friend. 

Teahyung looks like a painting - or better - a sculpture as he sits there facing the huge window of the lounge. 

He is devastatingly handsome. A smile creeps up to your lips without you realizing so. 

This time you walk confidently, marching towards him as if you own it all. The sound of your heels against the floor makes him face you and look up at you.

“Hey” he greets you as you sit down across from him. 

“Hi” you greet back, waving your hand to a waiter. 

“How was the day?” Taehyung asks, once you are done placing your order. 

“Nerve-wracking. I almost fainted before the one-on-one meeting.” you recall the incidents, then the man. 

Jeon Jungkook’s handsome face flashes before your eyes for a second. 

Taehyung chuckles at your answer, “I know. Jungkook can be really intimidating.” 

You pout, “oh? You’re talking as if you know him personally?” 

“Actually yes. We are not at all close and probably talked a few times but we share the same group of friends.” 

Your eyebrows shoot towards your hairline at the information, “Really? That’s great. It would have been easy for you to face him then.” 

“Oh god! Not at all! He had me pinned at my seat for the entire meeting. All serious expressions and no smile.” Taehyung grimaces at the memory. 

“He smiled at me though. Actually… giggled. He was super nice.” you start recalling the encounter again. 

“He must have really liked you.” Taehyung muses. 

Is he jealous? You ask yourself. Even though Teahyung sounds anything but envious. 

“By the way, Y/N. I asked you to meet today for a selfish reason.” he smiles sheepishly. 

“What is it?” you ask sipping your coffee that just arrived. 

“Are you close to Hani?” 

As soon as the words leave Taehyung's lips, your world stops moving. You know what is about to come and it breaks your heart but you are determined not to show it on your face. 

“Yeah. why?” you manage to voice upon gulping the lump that formed in your throat. 

All of a sudden Taehyung lunches forward grasping your hands with his big ones, “help me please. Set me up with her! Pleaaaaseeeee” his boxy smile is on full view. 

Once that smile warmed you up but right now you feel nothing but cold. 

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[ddarker-dreams]

Apologue.

Yan Albedo x F Reader. Commissioned piece.

Warnings: Yandere themes, unhealthy relationships, Albedo just having this strange unsettling energy... Word count: 3k.

There’s a homely atmosphere to Mondstadt that you don’t experience in other cities. 

Everyone knows one another and does their part. If a neighbor falls ill, without requiring formal organization, the community provides meals so fresh, you can still see steam rising off it. Birthdays are remembered each year, you go to one childhood friend’s wedding then the next, and funerals pack the Favonius Cathedral to its limit. There’s an unspoken sense of togetherness each denizen of the city of freedom possesses. It is invisible, yet tangible, like a gentle breeze. 

That’s why you don’t think much of it when Noelle seeks you out, carrying the news that once again, Klee has been placed in solitary confinement. 

When the stalwart maid departs, you just sigh and shake your head. Klee’s solitary confinement punishment has become synonymous with ‘wait until [First] comes to take her off our hands.’ The Spark Knight may not be your blood relation, yet you often care for and look after her. Her eccentric mother is gone more than she’s around. While you can appreciate Alice’s zest for adventure, you wish she’d take her daughter into account before disappearing for half a year. 

You can practically hear the globe-trotter’s voice from the last time you raised this concern. 

“That’s what I have you for,” Alice would say. “Klee is fortunate to have such a kindhearted influence like you in her life. If it ever gets to be overwhelming, why not rely on her big brother more?” 

At the mention of him, you dropped the topic. If Alice noticed the change in your demeanor, she didn’t comment on it. She instead elected to discuss a stipend you then respectfully refused. Monetary compensation was the last thing on your mind — you were raised in a community that helped one another because they wanted to. 

You slide a bookmark into the latest novel that caught your interest. Chapter five will have to wait until after you’ve rescued Klee from the strange way the Knights try curbing her behavior. 

Not even a second later, a shadow envelops your form on what is otherwise a sunny day. 

“[First],” a calm voice belonging to a certain alchemist greets. Then there’s a gloved hand held out for you to take. “I assume you’re also going to headquarters?” 

Biting down on your bottom lip, you inspect the choice you’ve been presented with. Presently, you’re sitting in a field of fluffy dandelions, right outside Mondstadt’s gates. This particular gesture is harmless enough. It feels like a concession on your part, but nonetheless, you place your palm in his and he hoists you up from the ground. 

You come eye to eye with Mondstadt’s resident genius, Albedo. 

It isn’t until silence resounds that you realize you should respond.

“Yes, I was just about to walk over there now. How did you…?” 

“I heard about Klee’s predicament. As her guardian, I wanted to smooth things over with Jean.” 

“Of course,” you say a little too hastily. Your eyes flicker downward, to where your hands remain connected. Should you tug it back? The thought doesn’t sit well with you, it’s too flagrant. Fortunately, he notes where your attention lingers, and releases his hold. You pray the relief you feel isn’t too palpable. 

You dust some imaginary dirt off your blouse. “I’ll let you get to it, then. I know you’re busy.” 

“You aren’t planning to come with me?” 

His tone isn’t the slightest bit accusatory, and still, you’re burdened with this burning need to defend yourself. 

“Ah, well, there’s no need for both of us to go, right?” 

“Klee’s missed seeing you around, you’re all she talks about,” The edges of Albedo’s lips tug into a smile. His eyelids then droop ever so slightly, and he tilts his head. “I hope your reluctance isn’t because you’re trying to avoid me.” 

Incredulous, you gape at him, heat flooding your face. He’s impossible to get a read on. If eyes are windows to the soul, then that wall of impenetrable teal might as well be shutters. Most consider Albedo to be aloof and polite enough, if not impersonal. He doesn’t entertain conversations longer than necessary and prefers to be left alone to his own devices. You either pique his interest or you don’t. Depending on the category you land in, he’s more willing to show his wry disposition. 

“I’m joking,” Albedo claims, though his composed visage remains impassive. “You’ve already done plenty for her. You’re under no obligation to do more.” 

This snaps you back to reality. “It isn’t like that. Should we discuss this later? I don’t want Klee to be in that dark closet longer than necessary.” 

He takes a moment to study you. You instantly regret the way your words came out, they were more abrasive than you intended. He didn’t technically say anything to incite your displeasure. From a purely logical standpoint, this rings true every time you’ve talked. You’re never given a justification for the apprehension his presence brings. 

At least with a bad omen, you know what to expect, even if it foretells disaster. There’s a paradoxical comfort that comes from learning certain doom awaits. It is kinder to tell a man he’ll be killed tomorrow than to say he’ll be killed sometime in the future. He’ll rest easier the night total oblivion awaits compared to an agitated lifetime of glancing over his shoulder. True anguish comes not from knowledge, but a lack of it. 

This is the limbo you occupy where Albedo is concerned. A permanent state of inertia that could equally be a product of your overimaginative mind or a legitimate threat. A pendulum swings yet tauntingly, yet never fully settles between the two. 

Albedo finally grants clemency from being held prisoner beneath his stare. 

“You’re right. That takes priority,” he relents. When he’s no longer facing you, he then casually adds, “It’s never good to be kept in the dark.” 

You scrunch your lips to the side and follow him into Mondstadt. 

-

“Big sis?” 

Klee sits before you on a red gingham blanket. The little girl pinky promised not to try playing leapfrog with her bombs in Mondstadt’s main square again, but in return, she wanted an outing with you and Albedo. This request was paired with doe eyes and a pout. Although you had your reservations, this infamous combination easily demolished your defenses. So here you are, sitting beneath the shade of the monumental oak tree in Windrise. For the moment, Albedo is absent, the only sign he’d been here is his easel. He said something about needing a more accurate shade to faithfully paint your hair and took off to his workshop. 

“Hm? What is it, Klee?” 

You continue brushing through her platinum blonde locks. In all the excitement today, her signature hairstyle got entangled in knots. 

“Are you mad at big brother?” She inquires, much to your astonishment. You’re grateful she’s situated in such a way that she can’t see your face. “When he comes back from the snowy mountain, I don’t see you as much.” 

Your grip on the hairbrush tightens. Kids are nothing if not observant. “I’m not mad at him, no. I’ve just been busy lately.” 

“All the fun grownups are always busy,” You can practically hear the way she puffs out her cheeks. “No one can tell stories like you, big sis. The chatty lady with a bird tried, but I couldn’t understand.” 

What’s admittedly a cute anecdote tugs on your heart in a painful way. You do come around less often when Albedo is in town. For the longest time, he seemed content to conduct research for months in the frigid climate of Dragonspine. This allowed your interactions to be few and far between. Lately, however, he’s been hovering around Mondstadt like a storm cloud that refuses to dissipate.

Hence your current predicament: avoiding him meant avoiding Klee. It’s a temporary solution in desperate need of a better fix. 

Not wanting to sully the mood, you extend an offer. “Would you like me to tell you a story now to make up for it?” 

She practically leaps up in excitement. Stars twinkle in her eyes as she wraps her arms around your form, pulling you into a tight hug. You can’t help but laugh at her enthusiasm. You’ve never found the stories particularly impressive, though Klee would vehemently disagree. It must have to do with your flexibility to retcon Dodoco into every fairytale. He’s been a valiant knight, a mad scientist, an explorer of the sky, and far more. Your humble apartment is decorated with colorful drawings from Klee, depicting these collaborative storytelling efforts. 

Her attention goes up and over your shoulder. “Big bro! Big bro! Big sis is gonna tell a story!” 

He must be back. That was fast. 

“Oh, is that right?” You hear Albedo reply. Klee nods fast enough that it’s a miracle she doesn’t get dizzy. “I had good timing then. It’s been a while since we’ve been treated to a [First] narrative.” 

Is he going to make a point of mentioning that as well? You pay him no mind, instead opting to fix Klee’s hair before she gets too impatient. She sits crisscross, unclasps Dodoco from her backpack, and places him on her lap so he can participate. Meanwhile, Albedo gets to mixing his paints. He’s already roughly sketched various outlines onto the canvas. So far, it’s Klee tugging on your hand, pulling you to some unknown yet fantastical destination. 

Klee once told you her big brother has drawings of you “everywhere” in his laboratory, prolonging the first syllable for emphasis. You still recall how you shuddered upon hearing this revelation. 

“Let’s see… what kind of story would you like to hear, Klee?” 

“A scary story!” 

You knit your eyebrows together. “... A scary story? Are you sure? I don’t want to give you bad dreams.” 

“It’s okay. I have Dodoco and my big brother to protect me,” Klee reassures. “Ms. Lisa told me I can’t check out a scary story until I’m older. She said you’d share one with me instead. Pretty please?” 

That’s one crafty librarian. What is it with the Knights of Favonius and pawning their Klee-related problems off onto you? Your genial nature must lend itself to such dilemmas. After mulling it over a few moments, you arrive at a story that frightened you as a kid, but not excessively so. You’ll still tone down some elements regardless. 

“Once upon a time, there was a poor married couple who lived in the woods. The wife was pregnant with their first child, yet she never had enough to eat. She asked her husband to pick vegetables from a nearby field, believing it’d long been abandoned by its owner, who they never saw. Her husband did as he was asked. He returned with cabbages, carrots, and potatoes. His wife cooked a yummy stew. Full and happy, she no longer had to worry about being hungry. A healthy baby girl was soon born. Their daughter grew up to become a sweet young lady who everyone in the nearby villages loved. Though the family had little, they cherished one another. All seemed well. Until one day, the father went hunting, and came across a man wearing a cloak.” 

Klee’s eyes widen and she leans in closer. 

“The man wearing the cloak revealed himself to be a warlock who had magical powers. He knew that many years ago, the husband had taken vegetables from his garden. The warlock demanded to be paid back for what was stolen. The husband said he had nothing of value. The warlock threatened the husband, saying that he’d place a curse on him and his family for a thousand generations. Unless, that is, he made it right by giving up what he loves most. And there was nothing the husband loved more than his sweet daughter. Left with no other choice, the married couple tearfully gave up their daughter to the warlock.” 

“Oh no!” Klee exclaims in a whisper. “The poor daughter…” 

You nod solemnly in agreement. “And so it was that the daughter was taken to a dark, isolated tower where the sun never shone. The warlock quickly fell in love with the woman, for she was very beautiful and kind. He did everything he could to make the young woman love him too. He gave her the finest jewelry and clothes in the land. Still, she wept bitterly at the sight of him, no matter what he tried. The warlock then thought to use his magic. One night, when he approached her, he created a pretty bundle of the reddest roses from nothing. She—” 

“He made a flower? Like what big brother can do?” 

��

An audible snap can be heard behind you. 

You look over your shoulder to see Albedo holding his paintbrush, which has splintered into two. 

There’s a quiet intensity radiating off him in waves. He’s frowning, though other than that, his countenance remains as unreadable as a tome in a foreign tongue. He ignores you completely and fixes his strange stare on his younger sister. 

“Klee,” he starts in a monotonous voice, “Would you mind running back home and getting me a new paintbrush?” 

“Aw, but big sis is in the middle of her story! I wanna know what happens to the nice girl and evil magic man.” 

“You can find out when you get back. I’d really appreciate your help, Klee.” 

It’s rare that Albedo ever asks for help, much less from her. She promises that she’ll be right back and sets Dodoco onto the picnic blanket, so that “you and big brother won’t get lonely.” She then skips off onto Mondstadt’s main road. Once she’s out of earshot, you stand to your feet, smoothing out the wrinkles on your skirt. 

“Unaware of your own strength, huh?” You ask Albedo, almost absentmindedly. When he doesn’t respond, you swivel on your heel.

The alchemist is scrutinizing his work with a hand on his chin. He must’ve been in the middle of painting your hair when his paintbrush broke, the glossy streaks revealing that it’s still wet. You pull your lips into a straight line. It isn’t like him to zone you out. You’re about to voice a similar sentiment when he finally speaks up. 

“It’s smudged,” he mutters under his breath. 

The impossibly idyllic scene he tried depicting is marred with an imperfection. 

Teal hues scrutinize you next. “Would you be open to changing the tone of the story when Klee returns?” 

“Hm? Why’s that?” You cross your arms over your chest. “It’s important that she learns there are people in the world who don’t take no for an answer, always testing the limits of what they can get away with.” 

It’s such a miniscule motion, you almost miss it, but you know for certain his eye twitched. 

“Is that so?” 

The calm waters of his voice obscure the raging tides hidden beneath the surface. Soft tufts of sandy blonde hair brush against his face as a zephyr passes through, rustling nearby branches with it. To be a citizen of Mondstadt and a child of Barbatos means to ascribe importance to the wind. The direction it blows, its strength, and what scents or sounds may come along with it. The Anemo Archon watches over his people with a certain fondness the other gods lack. 

You wonder what it is he’s trying to get across to you. 

“You have that expression again,” Albedo comments. 

“... What expression?” 

“A prey warily eyeing a predator,” he’s walking toward you now. You go stiff yet remain firmly planted. “Attempting to access the threat level and plan accordingly. To fight back, flee, or do nothing. Do you no longer find the last option appealing?”  

The pendulum errs to the side of warning. 

He still isn’t giving you anything substantial. In passing, you’ve heard of Sumeru scholars who spend their entire lives trying to find rare, elusive species. Camouflage is what allows these lifeforms to go undetected for so long. They slip under the researcher’s noses, almost tauntingly, blending into their surroundings and giving the false impression there’s nothing worthwhile to look at. Then the researcher moves on to the next area, frustrated and at a loss. 

Perhaps you came to a conclusion prematurely. A lack of knowledge may be damning, but possessing it and being unable to do anything might be the cruelest fate of all. 

“I don’t get it. Why don’t you just do something already? Say what’s really on your mind?” You seethe in a fit of frustration, jabbing your fingers at his chest. He doesn’t so much as flinch. “You obviously want something from me that I’m not willing to give. Is this some sort of punishment for not feeling the same way you do?” 

“Nothing I do is intended as a punishment on you, [First].” 

“Then what are you doing?” 

“Waiting.” 

You take a step back as if the word had physically pushed you. “What is it you’re waiting for…?” 

Albedo extends his hand into the air. The sensation surrounding him begins slowly, a focusing of energy. He sees the world for what it can be, not what it currently is. A light golden hue emanates from his outstretched palm. You’ve seen him do this enough times to recognize the alchemical process. For a natural like him, overlooking notes or extensive preparation isn’t necessary. Sucrose often impressed upon you just how prodigious Albedo’s abilities are. 

The gold light fades. 

Dark green stems twist into vivacious hues of blood-colored petals. Utilizing his esoteric knowledge, Albedo produced a bundle of red roses from thin air. He takes one, inspects it for thorns, and once he confirms there are none, nestles it gently behind your ear. He sweeps your hair aside with such tenderness that any passerby might mistake you two as lovers. 

Dumbstruck, you accept the bouquet into your hands at his prompting. 

There it is. That mischievous glint, flickering in his eyes briefly, just long enough to burn. It extinguishes before you can gauge how dangerous the fire will one day become. 

“Finish the story and maybe you’ll find out.” 

[kaixserzz]

this one is very self indulgent. i go on a TANGENT talking about my favorite character's lore and i thought about dottore... gamer!reader x dottore set on me and my friend's modern!au :3

dottore rabble x3 - "favorites"

oftentimes, you find yourself gushing about the video games you always play whenever dottore was around. you can't help it—it just feels so natural, to let your mouth run until you're out of words in his presence.

he never tells you to stop or make you feel like you are unheard, he asks questions and pays utmost attention to you. you knew dottore isn't one to play video games, so he doesn't know much, but he genuinely enjoys it whenever you talked about it.

you feel so safe and not weird when you rant to him, and he's been watching you play video games to understand more of your interests. the words just escape your lips before you could think. your heart always feels like it's about to burst whenever he gives you an adoring smile, staring at your cute, scrunched-up face, completely focused on your video game.

but there was one thing that bothers dottore.

why do you keep talking about this certain character? recently, every time you talk about video games, he hears their name. and what irks him more is the fact you get so giddy when you speak about their lore, and the way your face flushes in excitement sours his worsening mood even more.

he wasn't jealous. of course not! he scoffs at the idea. why would he be jealous of a video game character that isn't even real?

but can you blame him though? you've made that character your desktop wallpaper, and the majority of your accounts are themed after them. just how obsessed are you with this character?

that isn't fair. he's your lover! it should be him that—

hmm... perhaps he is a tiny bit jealous. just a small fraction of the horrid feeling. nothing more.

and though dottore doesn't want you to know anything about his growing jealousy, he asks you anyways,

"if you were to choose between us, who would you pick?"

the question caught you off guard, taking your eyes off the screen to look at him incredulously. it was hard to discern what he felt at the moment, only staring back at you intensely as he awaited your answer. you glance at your screen, seeing your favorite character standing idly, then bit your bottom lip to hold back a snort.

"between you and my favorite character?" you asked back, tilting your head towards him, forcing yourself to be as serious as he was.

dottore nodded, his eyes now glaring at the screen of your computer, showing absolute disdain towards your favorite character. you hummed as you rubbed your chin, pretending to be deep in thought, and you see how utterly offended dottore was at the fact you had to think about whom to choose.

"well, i'll pick my favorite, of course," you answer innocently, with a mischievous smile on your lips. and just as you suspected, his eyes narrowed, red eyes darkening as he leaned towards you, as if his ears deceived him.

"what?"

then you burst into a fit of giggles, cupping dottore's cheeks into your hands and pressing your nose against his. he was so cute getting jealous over someone fictional. maybe you should've been paying more attention to him anyway.

"that's you, silly!" you reveal, and you feel him lean against your touch, his skin tingling in delight at how close you were to him. "you're my favorite. i'd never replace you over a bunch of pixels."

his tensed shoulders relaxed at that, a satisfied smile emerging on his lips as he press his forehead against yours, his hand caressing your cheek. "good," he mutters, "because you're my favorite too."

your heart felt like it was about to soar at his genuine confession, biting your bottom lip to prevent you from squealing. on the inside, you were screaming at how sweet dottore was being at the moment. but of course, you just had to ruin it.

"... well, if they become real though, it'd be a different story!" you joked, and you feel his smile shift into a scowl.

dottore pulls away from you and simply said. "you're not getting any kisses tonight." and turned around to walk out of your room.

"wait, no!" you called out for him, "baby please, it was a joke!"

- ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛�� If you like this a lot, consider reblogging! I'll appreciate it very very much! Don't repost and/or translate my work anywhere. ❜❜ ┊˚ ̥۪͙۪◌

[magicalqueennightmare]

Sins & Amends Chapter 16

(Gif by @ banditthewriter)

Billy Russo x Female Reader (60 part story)

This follows pre- the punisher into the storyline of daredevil, punisher season 1 and beyond

This is NOT Canon Billy. This is decent human being Billy left with bad options over worse decisions

This was also posted to A03 under: WaywardGaPeach. That account and this one is the only place you'll see me post this. If you see it on any other platform/account know it's not me.

Chapter Summary/Warnings: Billy's home but your happily ever after slips away [some mention of sexual themes]

The day Billy called you to say he'd gotten his discharge date you were ecstatic but you also felt so guilty. He was getting out, the two of you were moving forward while Frank chose to go another tour.

"Maybe once he sees the business actually getting off the ground we can make him change his mind" Billy offered with a smile leaning down slightly so you could straighten his tie. The two of you were headed to some event hosted by some general or another. Seems like that was all you'd done since he hit stateside.

You understood he was trying to dip his feet into getting enough backing for Anvil and the contacts he'd need to get contracts big enough to grow a successful business but you were hoping things would slow down at least just for a little while. "I hope so. God seeing Maria's face when he said he was going back. She just wants him home" you didn't want to unload on Billy especially not before he had to slap a smile on and work a crowd but he knew you too well.

He slid his hands along your waist pulling you closer to him "Just give me a few months baby. We'll get this thing started then Frankie won't have any choice but come on home and help us" you smiled despite yourself. Billy had always had the ability to make you feel so much more confident about things. "In that case we better get going. Got to make a good impression"  you teased with a smile stepping away from him right as he leaned in for a kiss. You winked over your shoulder when he groaned in frustration "Mr Russo you can't show up wearing my lipstick"

Billy had been home for a couple months when he found a location for Anvil. You'd never seen him more excited than the day he walked you through the warehouse pointing out where training areas would be, where offices would be and telling you all his plans.

You were so proud of him. He'd come so far in his life and was still fighting for the future he wanted. You lay in bed that night running your fingers across his chest while he told you about his plans for the two of you. It made your stomach flutter listening to him talk about the prospect of house hunting and kids in the future.

"Are you gonna make an honest woman of me?" You jokingly said and he stopped mid sentence and stared at you for a few seconds before a smile slipped across his face "Of course. You in a long white dress, Lisa being the flower girl, Jr as the ring bearer. Might even be nice and ask Frankie to be my best man when time comes" "and when would that be?" You asked without thinking. He'd pulled you into a kiss then said "When time's right, I'll put a ring on your finger but my plan from the moment you said you wanted to be with me has always been to do everything in my power to make you as happy as possible for the rest of my life"

"Easy Russo a girl may hold you to that" he raised one eyebrow then pulled you fully on top of him "You can hold me to every word"

You had plans to stay with Maria the weekend following another event hosted by someone or another that held the possibility for big contracts for Anvil. You weren't too god awful interested in the details because your mind was too involved in the fact that it was under two months before Frank would be home. While Anvil wasn't much more than an empty warehouse at the moment you hoped there had been enough groundwork laid he'd agree to work there with Billy

You were chatting with Marine Lieutenant Andrew Dawson and his wife Lydia. They were actually a really sweet couple and turned out you'd met Lydia a few years before when you and Alice had responded to a car accident she'd be involved in. Billy had been pulled away by a phone call but you didn't mind as much with having friendly faces.

Andrew had just walked away to grab you and Lydia another glass of wine when Billy appeared beside you. One glance and you knew something was off. His jaw was clenched tight and his shoulders had that tenseness in them. It was that fierceness that always rested below the surface in him but now he wasn't trying to push it down "Mrs Dawson hope you don't mind but I have to steal Y/N away" he spoke with his usual charm but you could see him clocking every corner of the room.

Lydia smiled and said "Of course not. She's such a lovely woman. Have a good night" you waved at Lydia as Billy lead you through the crowd with his hand at your lower back. You weren't sure what was wrong with him so you waited until the two of you were outside and climbing into a cab to ask "What's wrong?" He let out a breath then shook his head "Nothing you need to worry about. I'm gonna go with you to grab your stuff then I'll drop you by Ria. I've got a few things I gotta take care of"

"Is something wrong?" You asked and he offered a smile in return "No sweetheart it's fine"

"So where did Billy run off to?" Maria asked as she turned on the couch tucking her feet up into your lap with a laugh. You shrugged and threw the blanket you'd been covering up with over her as well "I honestly have no clue. Seems like besides when he gets me to go with him to these events where I have met more branches of the armed forces than a civilian should even know exists I barely see him some days"

She laughed and wiggled her toes under the blanket  "He's just trying to build something and I know he wants to share it with you" you smiled at her words then felt a wave of guilt. Here you were complaining when at least your boyfriend was home and not in an active war zone. Not for the first time it was as if Maria could read your mind as she shook her head "Don't feel guilty. He'll be home soon. I just hope this time he decides to stay"

"Maria you and the kids are Frank's entire world. He's tired of it. I could hear it when I talked to him a few weeks back. I think he's done" time the words left your mouth she leaned her head over on your shoulder and said "from your mouth to God's ears"

Saturday you and Maria took the kids to the central park zoo. You were walking and attempting to snap photos of the kids and the animals. "You're gonna twist an ankle" Maria warned when you almost tripped over a discarded soda can.

You bent to pick up the can to dispose of it in one of the multiple trash bins that the owner had somehow missed and grinned at her "If I do I'm sure I know how to wrap a twisted ankle"

She rolled her eyes at your sarcastic response "Ok smartass. Just saying" you pulled her into a hug and playfully kissed her cheek "I know you're just looking out for me Ria and I love you for it"

Sunday you had to work a twelve hour shift but since Billy was preoccupied with doing something with Curt your plan was just to return to the Castle residence after work.

You were walking out the station house following Alice towards Kenzies car when you heard a loud whistle and turned to see Billy standing a little down the sidewalk. You smiled then looked over your shoulder "I'm good Alice. Thanks for the offer!" She glanced back and grinned when she saw Billy "Play nice kids"

Billy smiled when you got closer "I thought you'd be busy tonight?" You asked and he nodded "I am but we got a few hours so I was hoping maybe we could spend some time just the two of us?" "I'd love you" you replied with a smile that only grew when he pulled you into one of those kisses that left you a bit breathless afterwards.

--------------------------

Since you'd ended up back at the Castles' that night the next morning you got up early to help Maria get the kids off to school before heading in for your shift.

When Billy had dropped by before heading into a meeting he told you he'd made reservations for dinner because there was something he needed to talk to you about.

"He's gonna propose!" Maria nearly giggled after he left so the entire day a thousand scenarios played through your mind of what could happen that night.

--------------

When you got off you headed home to grab a shower and change. You didn't know where Billy was taking you so you dressed in a simple black dress with ankle boots. You styled your hair in loose waves and went with light make up.

-------------------

You were just double checking your reflection when you heard a knock on your door and smiled because you knew it was Billy. You grabbed your purse and jacket then opened the door.

He was standing against your door frame and smiled when he saw you. It wasn't quite one of those dazzling smiles that reached the corner of his eyes but it was still enough to make your heart jump.

"Hey baby!" You said while you pulled your jacket on and leaned up to give him a kiss. He brushed his lips against yours in a bare whisper of how he'd normally kiss you especially considering how he'd been the day before once he'd gotten you back to your apartment. God you were still sore in some places but if was the good kind of soreness.

He slid his arm around your waist and smiled "Let's get going. Our reservation is in twenty minutes" you guessed running late was what had him acting weird so you fell in step beside him to the elevator and then when you got downstairs he opened the car door for you as always so you chalked up how you thought Billy was acting to him being stressed.

-------------------

The restaurant was a new one you'd been wanting to try so it was a delightful surprise. The food was delicious and the wine was exquisite but you noticed Billy wasn't talking like he normally would and when he did turn his attention to you he seemed a million miles away.

While he waited for the waitress to bring his card and the receipt back you finally took enough and said "Billy what did you want to talk about?" He glanced around letting his eyes just skim across your face before taking a deep breath "I wanted to wait until we got back to your place to do this but I guess more public, better chances that a blow up doesn't happen"

"Blow up? What do you mean?" You didn't try to mask the confusion you felt. He finally met your eyes and you saw the wall up that he'd always wore the first few days after he'd get home from a deployment. Maria had called it war jet lag. You'd come to realize it meant he was turning his emotions off.

He motioned between the two of you before saying "This isn't working out" you felt like you'd been dipped in ice water. With tears already prickling your eyes you swallowed twice before you managed to say "What do you mean not working out? Billy we've been together years and friends even longer than that. Hell you made love to me for hours just yesterday" he shrugged then said "That's my point if there was anything worth having here don't you think I would've already proposed? I mean you're pretty enough and you are decent in bed but sweetheart you're not wife material for a CEO"

"Billy you can't mean that" you hated how broken your voice sounded but he didn't even flinch "Don't do the crying thing. I mean we can still fuck every now and then but I want my freedom back" you stared at him for several seconds stunned.

He'd gotten distant in the last few weeks since that last event but you'd told yourself it was Anvil and the stress that came with getting it off it's feet. You never would've imagined this.

"Go to hell Russo" you spat out not caring that your voice shook.

You stood to leave but he grabbed your arm "Y/N" you raised an eyebrow and he held out a twenty "For the cab home" you snatched your arm out his grip and had to fight to keep your voice steady as you said "Fuck you Billy" when he dropped your arm a brief flash of regret flashed across his face followed by relief? Was he that sick of you?

You turned and nearly ran out the restaurant wanting to get as far away from him as possible.

------------

You didn't want to go home. You were lost and hurt and just needed to break down. You didn't even know how you made it there but you found yourself at Maria and Frank's door trying to work the courage up just to knock.

When the door opened unexpectedly Maria was standing on the other side in her Pjs looking a bit confused. The moment your eyes met hers yours you broke down crying "He left me"

You could see the anger flash through her eyes but she tried to hold her face as she wrapped her arms around you "c'mon sweetie. Let's get you in some different clothes and we'll talk. The kids are already in bed so it's just us"

--------------------

You don't know how long you cried on her. It wasn't the first time you'd been hurt and went to Maria for comfort. This was just the first time you were sure even she couldn't fix it.

You ended up falling asleep on the couch curled up in one of Frank's old hoodies. Everything hurt as if your body was echoing your heart.

------------------

You woke up to the sound of Maria cursing in Italian followed by her saying "Why the hell did I ever think you had changed? You broke her fucking heart you cold bastard" you sat up rubbing your eyes and glanced around.

She was sitting at the kitchen counter with her back to you and her phone was at her ear. Before you could let her know you were awake she said "You're no longer welcomed in my home Billy" then she hung up slamming her phone down roughly.

You stood up and padded softly around the couch "Ria?" You grimaced at your own voice. It was hoarse from crying. She turned to you then glanced at the phone "Did you hear all that?"

You nodded so she said "Good. He needs to know what he did"  "Don't hate him just because he no longer loves me. You, Frank and the kids are still the only family he has" as you spoke more tears threatened to spill from your eyes.

She quickly got to her feet and pulled you into a hug "I may forgive him one day but right now you're in tears and I wanna slap him"

The following weeks whenever you weren't working you were with Maria and the kids. You just didn't want to be alone. They seemed to make even your broken heart feel a little lighter.

The day Frank was set to come home you went with them to the airport. You stood with Lisa's head leaned over on you as all of you waited to see Frank working his way through the crowd. The moment he spotted all of you a broad smile spilled across his face.

"Where's Bill?" He asked when he pulled you into a hug but Maria shook her head at the question. "Oh shit Y/N. What did he do? Want me to kick some sense into him?" He asked and you knew he was genuine he loved Billy like a brother but Frank was old fashioned in the sense that while he believed women were more than capable of handling themselves he also believed to a certain extent men were still supposed to protect women.

"Naw. He um just decided he wanted something else" you answered with a shrug so he thankfully changed the subject to start talking about their tradition of going to the park the day after he got home. He asked if you wanted to join them but you wanted to let the four of them have some time alone considering he'd been gone for so long.

"Bye Ria, bye kids and welcome home Frank" you said with a smile kissing everyone's cheek in turn before climbing out the van. Maria beeped the horn as she pulled away from the curb.

You never would've guessed that your life was about to be torn to shreds and that what remained of your heart was on the verge of being torn from your chest by what was to come next.

Tags @intothesoul

@weallhaveadestiny

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

kind of a random question but what's your take on plastic ono band, musically speaking? a lot of people seem to have very extreme opinions on it so i'm curious about yours :)

Hi anon!!! Don't worry, POB is one of my favourite albums to talk about tbh.

(I'm not sure if by "musically" you mean separate from the lyrics, but I definitely have more to say about it lyrically – please come back with another ask if you want me to delve more into some aspect :) )

I actually rarely listen to the whole thing, because sonically it's not necessarily my cup of tea and there are songs on it I find hard to appreciate outside their album context. Although, the last time I gave it a full relisten, I was actually pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed the sound of songs like I Found Out and Well Well Well.

I find the album on the whole an incredible and very concise presentation of a worldview that strives for personal independence, yet feels held back from achieving it for various reasons. It explores various aspects of "dependence", starting with parenthood and then moving on to religion, celebrities, drugs, among other things. It's not something I personally agree with, but the earnestness of the whole thing strikes a chord with me. It's also interesting to me that I've seen various accounts of people who made it out of high-commitment religious groups find the album really resonated with them.

One thing I find the most interesting about it is the fact that iconoclasm is one of the central themes of the album and, the way it opens with Beatle John Lennon screaming for his parents and closes with him singing a lullaby about his mother's death just after declaring he doesn't believe in Beatles and that the dream is over, the album is actually attacking John's untouchable image, forcing the listener to reassess their own relationship to John as a potential idol. In that sense, he's not only preaching, he's also being vulnerable to drive his point home, while simultaneously doing what he believes is necessary: "feel your own pain". I find the way the album plays with the fourth wall fascinating. It made me cringe at first, but I found examining why it made me cringe to actually be really fruitful. The album is challenging and forced me to reconsider it in a way I have rarely experienced with art.

On an individual song level: Isolation and Remember are among my absolute favourite John songs. "I don't expect you to understand / After you caused so much pain / But then again / You're not to blame / You're just a human / A victim of the insane" is a career highlight and the centerpiece of the album to me. It puts all the cutting and perhaps even cruel remarks made before and after into perspective. Plus I loooooooooooooove how that part completely shifts the energy of the song. The triplets in the last line are so good.

Remember is just endlessly sad to me, the interpolation of Bring It On Home lyrics is HEARTBREAKING. I interpret the song as being about reminding yourself why you have to leave a situation. In the context of the Beatles breakup, his use of a 1962 song of that nostalgic (to John) style about wanting someone to come back makes me a little fucking crazy. He took a song about regretting a split and changed it up into a reminder not to look back lest he come to regret his decision to leave.

Otherwise, I think God is incredible musically-speaking (shoutout to Billy Preston's beautiful piano playing!!!) but it's so much lyrically I don't listen to it super often. Love is very very pretty.

Mother and Well Well Well are often a bit much for me, but I find the way they sort of weave primal screaming into the music cool. Hold On and Look At me are quite soothing.

Working Class Hero is probably my least favourite, it's just kind of boring to listen to, though I am thankful to have some John f-bombs so there's that.

[turtlemagnum]

i'm not sure a piece of media has ever impacted me so broadly as fallout: new vegas. maybe just as deeply, yes, but in terms of variety the ways are almost uncountable. i played it at a fairly young age, so it was probably a fair bit more influential than it otherwise would've been, but i'm not entirely sure. i think one of the most straightforward ways is my love of guns. i'm not sure i can 100% attribute it to new vegas, but if memory serves i wasn't really into gun nerd shit before new vegas. with the knowledge i have now of both its development and just of real firearms, i know that a lot of attention to detail was given to giving everything if not outright realism, at the very least a very deep-set sense of verisimilitude that acted as a stellar "foot in the door" for the interest to seep into my brain, so to speak. if memory serves, the project lead actually bought and shot a real lever action rifle to make sure he got it down as best he could in game, and frankly without that degree of commitment i'm unsure if the gunplay would've felt as "real" to me. i cannot express how deeply appreciative i am of that, i still remember the feeling of the gears turning in my brain as i tried to figure out why .223 and 5.56mm went in the same rifle, and it setting my young imagination wild

and that's only one aspect. in terms of music, i wouldn't say that my music taste is broadly inspired by the soundtrack but it has introduced me to country music i actually quite enjoy, adding to my eclectic tastes. in terms of writing and media literacy, analyzing it was very critical in my development of both taste and critical thought in regards to the characters and themes of the game. as such it also deeply influenced my own political beliefs, and i think the fact that it portrays almost every sapient character with a degree of personhood and reasons for doing the things they do and thinking the things they believe had a significant impact too. at the core of the writing of the non-bethesda fallout games, there's always been this overwhelming sense of hope in the face of adversity. i'd argue it's probably the main theme of the first game, and is still a relevant one up to new vegas. and i think it's worth noting that i have my own disagreements with what the game says thematically at times, and i maintain that if you weren't limited by the options that the developers allowed you the yes man ending would unequivocally be the best option, but that's less so the fault of the developers themselves and moreso a limitation of video games as a whole not being able to account for Literally Every Single Possibility in the same way that you could in a TTRPG or even just writing yourself; so i don't really hold it against the devs in the slightest.

i think that to a certain extent, feelings predate ideology. you're born with a fire in your gut, and you can't quite put it into words with any coherence until you're a fair bit older. maybe on the way there you pick up some beliefs from the older folks in your life, maybe even ones that you'll find to eventually contradict what you really value deep down. i was no different, really. i think above all i've always yearned for freedom. not in the conventionally american way, i'd argue that the "freedoms" american ideologues profess to hold dear for the most part, aren't actual freedoms. they're just what we're told is freedom, when in reality we live in as authoritarian a system as those we claim to be diametrically opposed to. this yearning, this lust for freedom that i've always had, i think new vegas really fed into it, for me. the fact that you can go wherever you want, do whatever you want, kill whoever you want, support whoever you want, just as easily help or harm whoever you want, it all amounts to an overwhelming sense of freedom; the kind of radical freedom that you just cant get in the physical reality we currently live in. it's an escape, a fantasy, one where you have a genuine choice of how you want to live your life. i hope that one day we'll live in a world where everyone can have the kind of freedom i hold dear in my heart.

[hopeswriting]

zqrfefkd i'm not sorry about it. <3 (hope your exam went well tho!!)

Enma viewed Tsuna's attitude as flimsy. How can he wear Vongola's pride? Use its power? Take all the benefits that come with being Vongola the Tenth? But then when the going gets tough? Suddenly, he has no pride.

it's super interesting everything you said about this, because i've never seen it like that before. for me, enma's insistence in making tsuna acknowledge he is mafia too, at the very least by the time they're facing each other; in making him own up to it; in demanding tsuna admit it clearly and explicitly, and then, like you said, take responsibility for it, has always been about, like. well, like i've already put it once in this post, for me it's a mix between:

“becoming mafia and vongola decimo gave you all the things you care about the most in your life and made you the happiest you’ve ever been, whereas being mafia and shimon decimo took everything away from me. so how dare you call yourself different to my face when you’re hurting me right now with the exact same power that has hurt me all my life? when you’re taking away from me the little i have left? how dare you hold onto that power and use it to keep by your side all the things you care about the most it gave you, and yet refuse to take responsibility for all the things it takes away from others? for all the things it took away from me? for all the pain and loss it has inflicted and will keep inflicting?”

and:

“you don’t get to have both, don’t get to use the power in your hands for good, for your own good, while refusing to deal with all the bad that power has done and is able to do."

but you're right that i'm forgetting the context here, and the shimon arc is all about pride. so i'd actually agree that the core of the issue here is tsuna making a mockery of mafia pride (in his pov). the same mafia pride he's fighting to regain because it's the lack of it--it's because they were striped of it that the shimon had to go through all the suffering they did. but then, he has to watch tsuna rejecting it, even when, as enma points out, the gloves he uses to fight for the things he cares about have the vongola crest on them. which cuts especially deep because it's at the hands of vongola pride that the shimon suffered so much. yet enma has to watch tsuna act and say with his whole chest that no, he doesn't want to have anything to do with it and won't ever claim it as his pride too, even tho arguably he can't not be benefitting of said pride when everything he fights for, he does it through vongola means, and so of course... enma can't let it go and can only feel strongly and incredibly negatively about it. (can only feel disdainful and resentful and hateful about it.) and it's really interesting to think about it under this light too!

(also i think it ties nicely too to a more lowkey and overlooked theme of the shimon arc about just how long should you be held accountable to the things people before you did, just because it came to shape the way your life is and you yourself are now? how long and how much should you be made responsible for and should be made to bear on your shoulders the failures and sins of your ancestors? how tightly should you be shackled to the blood running through your veins and the legacy it carries? and to which extent is it right to do that (if at all), and when does it become undisputably wrong to keep doing it?

because the thing is, enma isn't wrong at all when he says vongola pride is bloody and cruel and ruthless and sinful, because we know for a fact that's what it came to mean starting with the second boss, and so of course he can't let it pass that tsuna, in his pov, is pretending otherwise.

but the thing is also, tsuna is being truthful when he says "this is what the crest on my gloves meant until now. but now i'm the one wearing it, i swear i'll make it mean something else that will never hurt you again." and he isn't wrong either to fight for the chance to make it a reality, should be allowed the chance to make it a reality, to break the cycle. or, in this specific case, the chance to turn the cycle back to what primo originally meant it to be.)

love how you described tsuna's journey to discovering what his pride is. how at first, all he knows is what his pride isn't, what he doesn't want it to be. because it made me realize tsuna has this specific kind of passivity to him where he knows without a shadow of a doubt where to draw the line and when to not allow anything past it to come to pass, but then he's really hard-pressed to put into words just what is behind those lines he's so protective of and will fight for until his dying breath. and the reason why is obvious, which makes it really sad too, because of course tsuna would have a much easier time knowing the things he doesn't want. because before reborn came into his life, that's all his life was made of. of things he didn't want, like being alone and lonely, like being bullied, like being shown nothing but mockery and violence and scorn, like no one having any faith in him and everyone believing him completely useless and hopeless, etc.

and so, as much as i totally agree the thing that keeps him going has been obvious since the beginning all the same (his people, his bonds with the people he loves), it's also interesting to note he always had to be backed into a corner first before he could recognize the things he did want, and then voice them out loud and fight for them. because he's not used to it, not used to be allowed to and didn't get many opportunities to learn how to to begin with. in kokuyo arc it's reborn's pep talk before he shoots him with the scolding bullet that snaps him out of it. in varia arc it's seeing the way xanxus treated timoteo and realizing just how truly far he was willing to go to get his hands on the rings. etc, etc, but basically what i'm saying is that tsuna always goes through this shift from "this is what is at stakes i don't want to lose" to "this is what is at stakes i want to make sure come out unharmed through the other side no matter what".

i... disagree tho when you said it's his bond with timoteo that gets him through the varia arc. i mean, for one, he doesn't have much of a bond with timoteo at the time of the varia arc, does he? by this point timoteo's just the guy who threatened to kill him should he refuse to catch mukuro, and also the guy who dumped the whole mafia/vongola decimo thing on him, turning his life upside down for it. he doesn't even remember knowing timoteo until timoteo reminds him of it. but then of course once he does it does matter, but for me that whole scene is still not about timoteo in and of himself.

the way i've always seen it is that, like i said above, it's about tsuna realizing truly and fully the lengths xanxus resolved himself to go as needed to achieve his goals no matter what. and the kind of violence and cruelty he's willing to commit along the way, which has layers here. because the fact that xanxus did what he did to timoteo is, of course, more than enough in and of itself for tsuna to condemn him for it from a purely humane angle, but timoteo is also his don and his dad. he's xanxus' family, yet it didn't stop him from doing what he did to him. and so coming face to face with the key role xanxus reserved for him in his plan, it was also the realization that what xanxus and him hold sacred couldn't be any more different if they tried. or at least, that their willingness, or lack thereof, to turn their backs on the things they hold sacred would never be able to so much as see eye to eye, let alone reconcile with each other.

and so of course there's no way he can put any trust of any kind in xanxus that he won't harm them as long as they go along with what he wants. of course the only way to keep his friends safe from him is to take all the power he has over them by winning the rings for him. and of course he absolutely can't allow him to become vongola decimo, because he will use that power to kill them no matter how cooperative and obedient and unthreatening and harmless they'd make themselves out to be.

all that said tho, i am aware that his bond with timoteo getting him through the varia arc is likely what amano wanted us to take from this scene. it just always really rung false to me lmao, but yeah, in any case, i do agree tsuna's bonds have always been his driving force.

anyway. i'm insane about the shimon arc too so sorry if this is wildly irrelevant to the subject and make little sense zrfededl. <3

remember when tsuna said "but i’m not mafia!! i don’t have an ounce of pride as mafia!!" and enma immediately said to that "you’re still going on about that? you’ve stained your hands as a mafia boss, haven’t you?"

and remember when tsuna said "and i don’t intend to inherit the current vongola" (and how before that he officially said to nono "i would like to… turn down the title of the tenth boss of vongola.”) to which enma said "hahaha, you’re still saying that. that’s just unfair of you, sawada tsunayoshi. isn’t the crest on your gloves proof of the vongola? that’s who you’ll always be. you’re at the center of the vongola, and have been benefiting the most from the vongola’s power. and then, when the going gets tough, you escape from the responsibility. wielding the vongola crest, getting others involved, hurting them, then saying that you won’t succeed as the boss. you hope too much."

and remember when tsuna immediately denied it, saying "......!! ...... no!! i didn’t mean to hurt others! i want to use this power to protect my friends! that’s how it’s been until now... and always will be!" but enma said "a fraud like primo. you liar. do you seriously think you could escape from your bloody fate?"

and remember how the vindice said "what you must fight for in this battle, is your pride!!" and reborn said "it's natural to think that they're talking about the pride of being mafia" to which tsuna immediately said "but i'm not mafia!! i don't have an ounce of pride as mafia!!" but then adel said "everyone holds a different pride within themselves."

and then, remember how by the end of the arc tsuna said "my pride is... you. my pride is... my comrades, my friends!!"

remember??

[charmingyong]

The Dangerous Silence of Your Lipstick - Pt.2

Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2

Full Title: The Dangerous Silence of Your Lipstick – Part 2

Genre: Taeyong x mafia queen!reader, action, violence, revenge, angst, dash of fluff

Warnings: dark theme, psycho, swearing, kidnapping, knife and firearm usage, gore, deaths, stalking, sip of alcohol, smoking, mention of gambling, suggestive, drugs, bit of unrequited love

Word count: 20k

Plot: You had cut ties with your actress life and were now a cold-blooded mafia leader, one that Taeyong never dreamt of you becoming, for only one motive.

A/N: Darker than part 1; read at your own risk. Quick recap of the main members still with you: Johnny, Kun, Jungwoo, Mark, Renjun, Jeno, Haechan

Tagging: @cosmiclatte28​ @luvjeongjaehyun​

© 2022 charmingyong.

- ❀ -

You walked into the VIP room coldly with your men behind you. Kun pulled your chair out, and you seated yourself across an aging man. The man scoffed upon seeing a woman in front of him. “I don’t like doing business with a woman. But I’ll let it slide.” He clasped his hands on the table and leaned forward, his eyes holding a seductive glint. “I’m intrigued by your red lipstick.”

You stared at the man, holding an intense gaze with him. His last words stirring something inside you, and you began laughing darkly, calming down after a moment and letting a small menacing smirk tug at one end of your lips. You would deal with him later on after the deal was sealed, a taste of his own red lipstick. At that moment, you merely replied with a, “It’s my specialty.”

- ❀ -

Mark leaned against the wall beside a closed door and busied himself on his phone, aiming to collect as many points in the game as he could.

Renjun and Jeno walked up to him. “What’s the news?” Renjun asked.

He paused the game and looked up. “Jungwoo’s teaching Y/N-ssi. Wanna go in and see?”

Jeno shook his head. The thought of his angelic noona learning from someone like Jungwoo unfathomable.

But Renjun was interested. “I’m going in.” He pushed open the door of the dark cellar. A man was bound to the chair with both his hands locked on the table. You stood coldly in front of his terrified face, the wall with various weapons for torturing resting on the shelves behind you.

Jungwoo stood beside the man and yanked his hair, making the man wince in pain. “Torturing is my specialty. And you know how I get into the mood for it?” he asked you.

You crossed your arms in front of your chest, vacantly staring at the enemy’s man. “How?”

A sinister smile appeared on your fanboy’s face. “When I think of all the villains you had to face on TV.” He let go of the hair roughly. “Since he’s an accountant, how about chopping his fingers off?” Jungwoo gestured to the shelves, signaling you to begin.

“No! Please don’t, please!” the man cried.

You didn’t pay him any mind and found a butcher’s knife. “This will do,” you spoke with an icy tone and edged the blade close to his digits.

The man began trembling and tried to free himself of the restraints. “Please, I beg you. Don’t. I’ll do anything you say!”

You paused and stared at him dead in the eye. “Anything?”

He nodded feverishly. “Anything.”

“Bring back the dead.”

He went pale, knowing that it was impossible to. “I-”

Inching closer to his mortified face, your eyes burned from rage and pain. “Bring back everyone I lost because of Lord.”

The look in his eyes was one of resignation. There was nothing he could do to save himself. “I can’t...”

You stood up straight and inspected at the knife. A shine radiated off the sharp blade and you smiled cynically. “I don’t have a choice then.”

Renjun grimly listened to the excruciating cries of the man as he watched his noona chop the fingers off, one by one, painstakingly slow, before ultimately slamming the knife through his heart.

- ❀ -

Kun knocked on the closed doors and heard a soft hum from you. He walked into the study room where you sat in Taeyong’s chair, your legs propped up on the desk as you aimlessly stared at the bookcase that you once thought you’d never go to.

“We’ll need to hire more men,” he stated.

You sighed, well aware of the men lost in the battle with your nemesis. “I trust you to it since you know what to do.”

He nodded. “Okay.” He was about to leave the room until he suddenly remembered something that his former boss mentioned. “And Y/N-ssi?”

“Hm?”

“There’s a safe under the desk. The code is your birth date. Taeyong hyung left something for you.” With that, he departed before you could ask him more about it.

That’s odd, you thought. But it was odder that Taeyong had prepared something for you, as if he knew the day would come when he wouldn’t be by your side. You choked back a quiet sob, the pain returning in your heart and devastating you.

True to his words, there was a small cubic safe locked with your birth date. You opened it wondering what private documents and such would lie there but were surprised when you found it empty.

Empty except for a small coloured print of what looked like a polaroid photo.

You picked it up and the cries that you tried so hard to hold back released, your tears leaving your eye sockets like a flooding dam.

It was a picture of Taeyong taking a selfie by a television screen, paused at a scene in your drama where you smiled lovingly at the camera and Taeyong held his palm up as if he were holding your beautiful face.

- ❀ -

“This was Haechan’s idea, wasn’t it?”

“Why am I always the prime suspect? What about Renjun?”

“Shut up! Doyoung hyung’s right. It was your idea anyway,” Renjun defended as he pulled up to the mansion.

Haechan wasn’t going to admit it out loud even though it was obvious. After the boys were recruited to be your personal assistant, Haechan felt like something was missing in his life. Joining the mafia filled in the gap and reasoned that the skills they’d learn from the underworld would help them protect you from things you’d have to face as an actress. The boys wouldn’t have been too majorly involved as their primary goal was to serve you and would only be away from your side when there would be important missions that required their presence.

“How’s Y/N coping?” Doyoung heard the news of all the deaths, and he barely pushed through when hearing Jaemin’s. You had a soft spot for the boy and he couldn’t even imagine your state after witnessing the death yourself.

“Not good, which is why we brought you here,” Haechan replied.

Doyoung scoffed. “More like kidnapped me.”

The three entered the house and were lucky to have found you passing by the common area. You paused in your tracks when you noticed your former manager standing afar and sending you a warm smile.

You were confused by his presence. “Doyoung, why are you here?”

He walked over to you and wrapped his arms around your shoulders, stroking your head in hopes of soothing you. “I’m here to feed you.” He pulled back to see your eyes becoming glassy.

Doyoung headed inside the kitchen, and you waited at the dining table while staring hard between the two boys. “Who decided to bring him here?” you asked. Renjun and Haechan pointed at one another, making you groan. “Why?”

“You haven’t been eating properly, noona. We had to bring him because we know you love hyung’s food,” Renjun said.

It was true. Doyoung’s food was among your favourites. But even his mouth-watering bowl of your usual favourite kimchi stew when pushed in front of you couldn’t bring out an appetite.

“Y/N, you need to take care of yourself. You can’t be falling sick again,” Doyoung gently urged you as he brought a spoonful to your mouth. But you didn’t budge.

Jungwoo walked in as if a puppy’s nose had followed the savoury smell of delicious food. “Wow, now that’s what I call a meal.”

Haechan rolled his eyes. “Isn’t everything a meal for you?”

He tutted. “But this is something only those with magic hands can make.” Jungwoo plopped down in a chair beside you and asked the older man, “Can I have some?”

Doyoung nodded. “Of course, there’s plenty more.”

“Yes!” Jungwoo picked up a spare spoon and dug into your bowl. He closed his eyes and moaned. “Woah! This is beautiful,” he exclaimed.

You watched cheerful Jungwoo eat up and gave him a weak smile.

With his mouth full he said, “But noona, just learning from us isn’t going to be enough to get your revenge. You need to eat well too, like me.” He met your blank eyes and added, “Taeyong hyung wouldn’t want you not eating well just because you miss him.”

Your heart cracked at the mention of his name, and so you followed his suit, picking up a spoon.

- ❀ -

“You really shouldn’t,” Winwin advised. “At least learn something from what Karina had to do.”

Karina only stared at her manicure in silence, recalling the recent event of where she faked her own death in exchange for her freedom from not just working for Lord but also in case she was under radar. She could tell that Taeyong’s gang was after Lord’s people, having seen the way people slowly disappear. Yet, Lord didn’t care. Lord wasn’t taking any action to fight back for the people he’d lost, reasoning that the ones that were going missing were easily replaceable. All he cared about was that absolutely no one was allowed to touch the former actress because you were his.

Yuta slumped back into his seat, already having expected his friend’s opinion beforehand. He took a long sip of his iced matcha drink. “I’m not scared of anything.”

Winwin sighed and said, “You’ll never know what will happen.” Winwin stood up from his seat and added, “It’s not easier picking a side. Stay freelance. Don’t come to me and say I didn’t warn you.” Winwin gave his best regards to his friend and left the café.

Karina sighed out a long breath and Yuta shifted his eyes onto her. “You know what hurts, Yuta?” She dropped her hand in her lap and fixed her sharp eyes on him. “When feelings get involved knowing that it’s dangerous and that there’s no such thing as happily ever after for us.” At least not for her when ultimately learning of Jaemin’s death from a source. When working for Lord, Karina had to do everything she could to survive, even if that meant hurting the boy she harboured a liking for.

Yuta pondered for a while, wondering if he should take Winwin’s advice after hearing the pain in Karina’s voice. He had only gotten a mere glimpse of you during one of his missions, but it was enough to know that he’d want to work for you for long term. He thought about the recruiting offer Kun made to him recently, which led to him chatting to his friends about it. When working for no one’s side, there was no need to worry about growing a heart or betraying anyone. If he were to pick a side, especially your side, then there was no guarantee what could happen to him especially after what his friends had to say.

Yuta knew working for you was dangerous.

To take a break from his existing dilemma, he decided to spend some alone time at a mall, heading towards the most luxurious end of the establishment. He had the money, being paid handsomely for deadly tasks, but this time he only went there to look around. Window shopping was therapeutic for him and with his pretty face, both male and female employees always gushed over him, making him love the attention.

No one could tell by his innocent face that he was an underworld sniper.

His eyes landed on a sparkling Rolex watch enclosed in the glass display case and asked the female employee with a dashing smile, “Can I try it on?”

She nearly fainted when receiving his attention. “Of course!” She took out the watch and placed it on a velvet tray.

Yuta picked it up and locked it around his wrist, observing its beauty against his skin. He smirked and took it off, setting it back on the tray. “Thanks,” he said and sent a harmless wink her way.

She grinned widely and bowed. “My pleasure.”

Just as Yuta began walking away, he stopped in his tracks when catching sight of the very woman who had plagued his mind.

You leisurely strolled around with your men trailing behind, your arms crossed in front of your chest and eyes aimlessly skimming around the store for any product that caught your attention. While something didn’t, someone did. You halted your steps upon seeing an unknown man staring full-blown at you, making you raise a questioning eyebrow.

Yuta noticed it and grinned with his pearly teeth as he moved towards you.

You turned your head to look at Kun.

“He’s Yuta, one of the men I’ve planned to hire,” he answered to your unspoken question. You nodded in understanding and landed your emotionless gaze back on Yuta.

Yuta stopped in front of you and bowed. “Hello, Y/N-ssi. I’m Nakamoto Yuta, one of the best snipers in the underworld. I’ve thought about the offer and I’d be more than happy to accept it.”

You didn’t involve yourself with the hiring process, and so you weren’t aware of any details regarding the man’s history. You wanted to trust Kun with the decision, and without speaking a single word of acknowledgement, you brushed past Yuta and continued your way around the store, not giving him any more interest.

Flustered by your ice-like demeanour, Yuta regained composure and fixed his attention on Kun. Kun was pleased by the outcome and informed him, “I’ll contact you later.”

-

“He was someone Taeyong hyung wanted to recruit a long time ago, but Yuta never worked exclusively for anyone,” Kun explained during the car ride home. “I’m surprised he took up the offer now.”

You sighed quietly and stayed mute, opting to stare out the window instead of meeting his gaze. You were already sceptical of the man with a dazzling smile. There was no logical reasoning for you to reject him and therefore you hoped that the twisted feeling in your gut was mistaken.

Back at the mansion, your boys were huddled around on the couches in the common area. Haechan was first to notice you come in and stood up, followed by Renjun, Jeno and Jungwoo following suit.

“Any news?” you asked. There was only one thing that you were desperately waiting for.

Renjun shook his head. “No, we haven’t been able to trace Lord’s movement lately.”

Stressed fingers went to rub at the spot of your temple. It was odd that the very villain who wanted you wasn’t currently chasing after you. “What the hell is his plan? We need to wipe more of his men out.” You were thankful for having Kun and Johnny by your side whenever stepping out of the safe zone, shooting any danger down without having to ask you.

Jeno reported, “I have an appointment scheduled for you about that.”

You gave him a nod. “Good. All of you rest now except...” You pointed a finger at Haechan. “You. Follow me.” Without looking at anyone else, you headed straight for the study room.

Puzzled, Haechan obeyed, wondering what you had to say to him privately. In the room, he waited afar by the door as he watched you plop down in your chair and prop your feet on the desk.

“Close the doors and come here,” you told him.

He confusedly blinked at you and acted upon your words, closing the doors completely and made his way over to stop right in front of the desk.

Your eyes narrowed on him and voiced out your thought. “You know you have a strength.”

Haechan scoffed and corrected, “I actually have a lot of strengths.”

Stopping yourself from rolling your eyes, you continued. “You’re good at both keeping secrets and exposing them.”

“Is that supposed to be a compliment or-”

“I’m putting you on a secret mission with Jungwoo.” You pressed a finger to your lips and added, “Don’t tell anyone else.”

He furrowed his brows wondering what it could be that it had to be private. “What’s the mission?”

You frowned at how Lord wasn’t enough stress that Yuta had to come into the picture. “Kun hired a sniper, Yuta.”

Haechan slowly nodded. “Okay...” He had heard about him before, being Taeyong hyung’s pick a while ago but never heard Yuta join their group until then.

You looked at him straight in the eye, unwavering. “Give me one reason why I should kill him.”

- ❀ -

Haechan gaped incredulously at Yuta who wore that infuriating sweet smile while standing in front of everyone sitting in the living room. “This is the deadly sniper Taeyong hyung wanted?”

Jungwoo sighed with his arms crossed. “Looks really are deceiving,” he muttered.

“He’s definitely a catch. I mean, no one would suspect him,” Renjun added.

Kun observed you for a reaction, noting how quiet you were during the introduction. You grimly stared at the recruit, finding it absolutely annoying when Yuta made eye contact with you and grinned widely, flashing his sparkling white teeth.

It definitely was annoying that no one would suspect him.

Turning your head towards Jeno, you asked, “When’s the appointment?”

Jeno checked the time on his phone and replied, “In about an hour.”

You nodded in acknowledgement. Soon, you would show Yuta what you really were.

-

Jeno opened your door and held an umbrella over your head, protecting you from the rain that the city was being showered with. You stepped out the car and glazed your eyes over the tall building where your next target was waiting in. Your bodyguards along with Kun, Jeno and Yuta followed behind you.

Strolling through the glass doors into the restaurant, Kun informed the waiter of your arrival. Your eyes scanned around the public seating, finding a few gatherings after lunch hours and one man in a black attire who pretended to read the menu.

The waiter nodded and politely said, “Please follow me.” He guided you to the private rooms and halted by one door. “Your guest is waiting in here,” he smiled.

Returning courtesy to the waiter with a smile, a dark glint apparent in your eyes. “Perfect,” you mumbled.

He opened the door and gestured you in. You found Lord’s chauffeur waiting anxiously and when his landed on you, he stood up instantly and bowed in respect. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Y/N-ssi!”

Not giving him any regards, you coldly sat down in a chair held out by Kun.

Yuta and Jeno stood by the door to ensure no intrusion during your agenda. A chauffeur didn’t have a single protection like the higher ups would, so that shouldn’t be an issue anyway.

“What can I do for you?” the chauffeur asked.

You met the chauffeur’s bright eyes. You thought about how he’d be the one to drive Lord anywhere ordered, whether that’d be to you or from deaths of your loved ones, making you grit your teeth before relaxing slightly. “There’s a game I’ve always wanted to play. Care to join me for some fun?”

Perplexed by the request, he smiled hesitantly. “Um sure. Anything you wish, ma’am. What is the game?”

A devilish smirk curled up on your red lips and replied, “I’m sure you’ve heard of the knife game.”

His smile dropped in the blink of an eye. “Sorry?”

You gave Kun a quick glance and it was the cue for your bodyguards to gather behind the driver. One of them picked up his hand and slammed it down on the table and held it in place, while another made sure to keep the body down in the chair. The chauffeur struggled to break free as he panicked. “Please don’t hurt me!” he cried out.

You laughed quietly. “I’ve always wanted to play this game but never had the chance to. Who knows? I might be good at it or... I might not. We’ll see.” Your palm held open for Kun and he placed a knife in your hold. Without waiting for the driver to spread his fingers apart, you slammed the pointed end of the blade downward on the table, aiming for the space between the thumb and index finger. At the right time, he squeezed his eyes shut and spread the fingers apart, saving himself from the near wound.

You feigned amazement. “Wow, see? I didn’t stab into you.” Yet.

His forehead was sweating from anxiety. “Please, spare me,” he pleaded frantically.

Your knife moved to the next space between his index and middle fingers. “All you have to do is keep that hand open for me.” The knife moved slowly to the next point, and then the next, ultimately reaching the end by the pinky finger. The flow was reversed, and you picked up the pace, going slightly faster and you were amazed at yourself for not making a mistake yet.

Meanwhile, the chauffeur’s body trembled in fear, hyperventilating by your accurate moves. Seeing that it wasn’t going according to your plan, you removed your gaze from the knife and watched his face while making your next move and purposely off course. For the first time, he screamed from the unexpected pain and you looked down.

First mistake.

The knife pierced through his hand, a little off from the middle and blood began pooling around the stab.

The waiter knocked on the door and asked, “Is everything alright?”

You told Jeno to relay a message. “Tell him not to enter if he wants to live.”

Jeno nodded and cracked open the door just wide enough for one eye, speaking in hushed tone. Yuta stood deathly still, witnessing your bloody game with a grim face.

You plucked the knife out in a different angle. “Shove a towel in his mouth,” you ordered.

One of the men shoved a white napkin in, and the driver nearly gagged from the muffled screams. The game resumed and ended after you had made five punctures all in different spots. You gave the blood-stained knife back to Kun and stood up from your seat. A silent signal was exchanged between you and Kun and he understood the assignment. Done with the appointment, you strolled up to the door. Jeno opened it for you to walk out and you did, but not before staring at Yuta. Yuta recognized the look of distrust held in your gaze.

Truthfully, he didn’t know anymore if he made the right mistake of joining your group.

As soon as you stepped out of the threshold, Kun took out his gun and pulled the trigger at the chauffeur’s head. You rolled your eyes for going easy on the chauffeur. If you were back at the mansion, you would have finished him yourself by repeatedly swinging a hammer at his head until his skull and brain were battered.

Out in the public dining area with more tables filled, peaceful and oblivious to the bloody event that took place in the secluded room, you spotted the same man from earlier again, still sitting alone with his eyes glued to his phone except for when trying to steal a peek at you.

You confidently strode up to him, observing the way he shifted anxiously in his seat and avoided your gaze altogether.

“Who are you?” you asked.

The man took a moment before responding to you, acting like he was surprised for you to ask a stranger for their name. “Sorry?”

You didn’t bother repeating and instead asked, “You work for him, don’t you? Lord?”

He laughed a little in a ridiculing manner, doing his best to pretend and not know his boss. “Who’s Lord?”

You could see it clearly that it was a poor act, trying to keep his identity covert, and you were not pleased with it. Your hand reached for the gun tucked along your waistline and pulled it out, pointing at his head.

The room gradually flipped from calm to chaos as customers eventually picked up on the sight of your gun. Relaxed chatters switched to loud gasps and stressed shouting, few screams were let out as they prayed for their lives that you wouldn’t shoot them. Kun and Jeno couldn’t believe what you were doing in front of the public’s eye and tried to calm everyone down that they wouldn’t be harmed as long as they didn’t interfere. Kun instructed the bodyguards to barricade the exit and prevent anyone from escaping in order to keep the matter contained. One customer pulled out his phone in order to snap a picture of you, but Jeno stopped him with a threatening look to no do it.

“What do you do for him?” you asked calmly, not caring about what the innocent souls were about to witness soon.

The man snorted, amused that you were threatening him with a gun that you wouldn’t use in public. At least he thought you wouldn’t. “I’m telling you I don’t work for him,” he stressed.

You changed up your inquiry flow with an easier question. “Why are you following me?”

His teeth clenched and decided to at least answer that. “I’m searching.”

“What are you searching for?”

He crossed his arms cockily and relaxed back against his chair, holding an intense stare with you. His silence meant only one thing: he wasn’t going to tell you.

Having enough of his silence, you pulled the trigger, piercing the bullet through his head as his body fell backward along with the chair. The screams and cries increased, and the manager of the restaurant panicked with sweat running along his forehead. You beckoned him over with your finger and he obeyed with his heart racing in fear.

“Y-yes, m-ma’am?”

“Don’t speak to another soul about this.” Your hand gestured for the frightened souls in the dining area. “Tell everyone this or else I’ll hunt all of you down. I won’t spare a single soul.”

-

Haechan groaned loudly as he tugged at his hair in distress after receiving the news from Jeno through texts. “Noona’s fucking lost it!” he screamed as he paced back and forth. “She’s damn lucky she’s not actively an actress.” It would have been bad if it somehow made it to the news that the country’s sweetheart had shot a citizen to death in a public setting. Your mafia ways helped contain the matter within the walls of the restaurant.

Renjun sighed sadly while leaning against the wall, his head hanging low at what their noona was becoming. “We never do anything in public. Taeyong hyung never wanted an innocent soul to be traumatized.”

Jungwoo lazed on the couch with a Rubik’s cube on hand, calmly twisting the coloured rows in attempts to align the colours up. “Get used to it. It’s only gonna get worse.”

Mark frowned at him from beside. “What do you mean?”

Jungwoo paused from solving the cube and sat up, holding his fingers up to list off the reasons. “First, she was deceived, thinking that she was with Taemin when all along it was Lord and Taemin was dead. Second, Sungchan’s death was the first one she witnessed. Even though he was new, there’s no way she hadn’t developed a soft heart for him when he was with her at all times. Third, Jaemin was shot right in front of her eyes, and we’re talking about one of the boys who’s been by her side the longest. Fourth, Lucas’s death. He was her biggest fanboy and she really adored his cuteness and how he cared for her. And fifth, Taeyong, and we all know the impact his death has on her.”

Johnny nodded slowly and sat up straighter. “Sounds like Y/N’s traumatized and now she’s vicious enough to hurt anyone in her way without a second thought.”

“What if we try to stop her? Taeyong hyung would not be happy if he saw Y/N-ssi like this,” Mark said.

“I don’t know man. Do you think she’ll hurt us if we go against her order?” Johnny wondered.

Renjun shook his head firmly. “Consider ourselves lucky. We’re her family. Haechan is a handful and she hasn’t done anything to him yet.”

“Hey!” Haechan shouted. “I haven’t gone against her for any... thing... well, at least not recently,” he muttered.

Renjun rolled his eyes and continued. “If we were an outsider, then yeah, she wouldn’t hesitate to hurt us if we did the slightest bit wrong.”

- ❀ -

You swirled the wine glass around in circles, intently watching the deep hue of the red wine stick to the walls of the glass before calmly taking a sip of it. Kun stood next to you, waiting for your order along with the rest in the room.

Your grip on the glass tightened as you weren’t pleased with the news of your pre-existing client wanting to negotiate on a deal set forth. You muttered, “He wouldn’t be doing this if it were Taeyong.”

Kun nodded. “Yes, usually he accepts whatever is put on the table.”

You let out a small laugh, knowing that the client was only taking advantage because it was you. A woman. “Then I’ll have to show him who he’s messing with,” you said and stood up from the couch, setting the wine glass down on the coffee table. “Get the weapons ready,” you ordered. “We’re trespassing his property.”

Your boys looked at one another, wary of your intentions. The client lived in a mansion without any security guards. Jeno was the one to speak up and asked, “And do what?”

“We’re terrorizing his family.”

Everyone’s jaw dropped to the floor as you spoke the words calmly without any hesitation. “We don’t do that,” Mark countered weakly. “He only has a wife and two small boys.”

“We never harm the innocent!” Haechan shouted.

You shrugged. “Suit yourself. If no one wants to come with me, I’ll do it myself. Then there’s no guarantee what I’ll do to them.” You walked out the common area to get ready for the night ahead. Yuta had no objections and followed your lead, willing to do anything you wished.  

The remaining stood anxiously, deathly silent with Haechan being the first one to break it as he tugged at his hair in stress. “I fucking wished Taeyong hyung was here to stop her madness!”

Jungwoo scoffed. “Didn’t I tell you it was going to get worse? Anyways, I’m going with noona.”

Mark gritted his teeth and angrily held Jungwoo by the collar. “Have you lost it? This isn’t what we do!”

“Taeyong isn’t our boss anymore,” Jungwoo replied and grabbed Mark’s hands off him.

“Jungwoo’s right,” Kun said, shocking Mark for Taeyong’s right-hand to be saying that. “Y/N’s our boss and we do what she wants.”

Johnny nodded in agreement. “Kun’s always right. I’m with Y/N.”

Mark was shocked by the turn of tables as the three dispersed to prepare themselves for the mission. He sighed heavily and dejectedly muttered, “I guess I’ll go too.”

Haechan incredulously gaped at him. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“I’ll see to what extent Y/N goes. I hope she won’t actually touch them.”

Renjun and Jeno agreed. “Yeah, let’s hope noona doesn’t have plans to hurt them physically,” Renjun said.

Haechan couldn’t believe the absurd reality. Being the last one remaining to hop on board, he groaned in frustration.

-

The van halted just meters away from the gate of the mansion. You and your boys stepped out and filed around the closed black gates that separated you from the soon to-be hostage’s home. Your black attire was perfect to blend in with the darkness of the night.

Haechan sighed loudly and said to you, “Don’t do something that’ll have us screwed.”

You scoffed at his words while keeping your cold gaze on the warm lighting inside the house. “You think I’m not smart enough after having these sorts of things in my dramas?” Your eyes then shifted to the black gates, pushing it open and walked in as if you owned the plot.

“What’s the plan?” Jeno asked as you all stopped by the front door.

“Hold his family at gunpoint,” you answered softly. Your finger went up to ring the bell and waited patiently. “Make sure to hold him away from them.”

When no one opened the door after a while, Kun mentioned, “There’s a camera in the corner up there.”

You looked up to where he pointed and found one. The client would have seen that it was you and refused to open the door. Guess you would have to go for plan B. “Johnny, Jeno, Yuta. Break the windows.”

They expected that order and went ahead to break entry through the glass, swinging anything they could find at the window: hammer, baseball bat, and even a huge stone from the garden at it. Once making it inside through the opening created, you noticed the area was void of life.

“Go look for them and bring them here,” you commanded.

Just as your boys were about to, your client Kwon emerged from the staircase looking panicked. “Oh, Y/N-ssi, what a surprise,” he greeted anxiously with sweat running along his forehead.

Unamused, you silently signalled your boys to grab him. Johnny was first to act, followed by Mark, dragging Kwon to a chair. Mark pointed his gun at Kwon’s head. “Move and you won’t see what happens to your family.”

Kwon shook in fear. “Please don’t hurt them! I’ll do anything you say.”

“Too late for that,” you told him. “Especially after all the inconvenience.” You turned to your boys. “What are you waiting for? Go look for them.”

-

A woman trembled, holding her two sons close to her as she stared at her husband with teary eyes. The little boys clung onto their mother for dear life with silent rivers flowing down their faces after being demanded to quieten their loud cries, their eyes squeezed shut to avoid glancing at the terrifying guns pointed at them.

You sat at the dining table across from Kwon, staring at him as he rushed to sign the contract frantically, willing to do anything to take his family out of the danger. Once finished, his voice broke when pleading, “Please don’t hurt them.”

Sneering, you told him, “Next time you try to negotiate with me, I’ll make sure they’re cremated.” You stood up and added before walking out of the house, “If you had a connection with Lord, I would have blown this house up.”

- ❀ -

Kun barged into the study where you laid your head down on the desk and arms sprawled around. “Can whatever it is wait?” you mumbled weakly. You were tired and couldn’t care less to keep up with the boring news. Too much happened with no signs of Lord himself showing up in front of you, and you were getting tired of your days fly by without feeling much accomplished in your revenge.

“Y/N-ssi, it’s Lord.”

Your head snapped up to meet his eyes and then at the phone in his grip with his other hand covering the speaker. Kun laid the phone on the desk within your reach and stepped back to give you some room. You thought he was going to leave you alone to talk privately but he stood patiently right in your sight.

And you were thankful for that.

It had been a while since you last came into direct contact with psychopath. Your memories with him had left your body trembling and you wished Taeyong were alive to comfort you like the way he used to.

If only Taeyong were alive...

That snapped you back to your senses and your fists clenched hard at the horrendous killings of your loved ones. Your teeth gritted as you spitted out a greeting of disgust. “Lord. It’s about time I hear from you. I was starting to think you got bored of me.”

You heard Lord laugh darkly. “Darling, I can never get bored of you. Just know that even though I’m not making a move, my men are always keeping an eye on you wherever you are... which is why I called you.”

You knew you were being followed by his men, a proof of it lied in the number of bullets used every time you spotted them, but you couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t making a move for you. Why were they only spying on you? Was Taeyong’s death for nothing? Lord should be happy that Taeyong was gone so that he could have you all for himself. “What is it?”

He hummed and said, “I’ve been busy trying to find an answer, but haven’t had much luck. Clearly, you would know better so that’s why I’m going to ask you-”

Having enough of him beating around the bush, you yelled, “Just get straight to the point!”

“Where is he?”

You blinked in confusion. “What?”

“Where is he?” he repeated calmly.

You always tried to stay composed and in control, but that moment had you completely puzzled and you didn’t bother hiding that in your tone. “Who?”

He huffed out in irritation. “The obvious.”

If he were in front of you, you would have broken his nose. You weren’t going to kill him easily when you craved to torture him. “Care to elaborate? Clearly, we’re not on the same page.”

There was a moment of silence from his side before his tongue clicked and said, “I got my answer.” Without another breath from you, he cut the call.

Lord laughed darkly at the situation, greatly amused by your oblivion. After calming down a little, he spoke to his men filed in front of him in his office. “Y/N doesn’t know.” He recalled the day after the warehouse incident, searching for the only dead body he craved to see but was disappointed when absent. To himself, he whispered, “Where the fuck are you, Taeyong?”

You stared at the blank screen of Kun’s phone in utter shock. “What the fuck is he on?” you mumbled under your breath. “Who the hell is he looking-”

And it struck you.

The only he Lord could be mentioning about.

The new recruit.

Yuta.

He was a new member in your gang and with the bad gut feeling you had for him, it wouldn’t surprise you if Yuta had anything to do with Lord. You cleared your throat and sat up straight in your chair. “Can you leave me alone?” you asked Kun.

“Of course.” He picked up his phone and bowed slightly before leaving the room.

You speed-dialled Haechan, and he answered immediately. “Yes noona?”

“Any news about him?” There was no need to clarify who you were talking about, being the only active mission for him.

“Not yet. I haven’t seen him do anything sus after he joined us.”

You sighed out in annoyance. “Well hurry up and find out. I don’t want him lurking around if he should be dead.”

- ❀ -

Jungwoo yawned and slapped his own cheeks gently, pushing the passenger seat back to recline a little. “If only there was a way to go inside without getting caught...” he muttered sadly while wondering about all the delicious food his stomach could be having if it weren’t for the secret mission.

Meanwhile, Haechan rested his arms on the steering wheel and kept his gaze locked on the path that led to the elegant, Michelin-starred restaurant. “Noona will treat you if we get some info,” he spoke.

Jungwoo huffed in frustration. “What if we never do? We’re literally spying on the guy Taeyong hyung wanted. You think Yuta’s gonna slip up? I doubt it.”

Haechan shushed him loudly. “Stop being so pessimistic! You’re scaring me. Well really, it’s noona I’m scared of. I don’t know what she’s gonna do if we don’t get her answers.”

“You know, we can always play a mind game on Yuta, making him think we know his secret and then he’ll spill everything to us.”

Haechan gave the taller boy a doubtful look. “Really think that’s gonna work?”

Jungwoo shrugged. “Never know until we try.”

The younger one rolled his eyes and focused on the restaurant’s entrance again, sitting up straighter when seeing Yuta exit the establishment alone.

Jungwoo scoffed and crossed his arms. “Whoa, he really came here to eat all by himself. He could have invited me at least.”

Haechan gave him a bored look. “You really think he came here to eat by himself? He would have at least invited noona to a place like this.”

“Why noona?”

“Don’t you ever see the look Yuta has for noona?”

“You mean Yuta likes her? Are you sure?”

“One hundred percent. I’m never wrong in this type of thing.”

“What about noona?”

“Why else are we doing this mission? She wants to kill him. She has no interest in him. I don’t think she ever will for anyone... ever since Taeyong hyung,” Haechan muttered the last part. His eyes reconnected with the restaurant, going wide in shock when seeing a group of men exiting shortly after Yuta’s departure, and in the midst of it was your enemy.

Lord.

“Holy fuck,” Haechan whispered.

Jungwoo struggled to form words with his gaping mouth. “I can’t believe noona was right. But what if it’s a coincidence? Or Yuta went to spy on Lord?”

“I doubt it. If that was the case, Yuta wouldn’t be leaving before Lord. They had to have met up.”

-

While lounging in the common room, you received the call from Jungwoo explaining what they had witnessed, and your grip on the phone tightened as rage seethed in you. You couldn’t believe Yuta had the audacity to work for you while working with your enemy.

“I’m going to fucking kill him!” you screamed, making everyone alarmed by your sudden outburst.

“What happened?” Renjun asked.

You scowled hard at the very image of Yuta’s face appearing in your head. “Wait till the betrayer walks in.”

After a while, Yuta did, walking casually as if he hadn’t done anything wrong. When he was greeted with your furious gaze and wary glances from the rest, he asked, “Is something up?”

You strode up to him, and your hand itched to blow at his clueless face. “How about explaining yourself why you met up with Lord?”

His face paled when seeing your murderous look upon learning of the meet-up. “I can explain.”

“Then please explain. Because if I don’t like it...” Your finger pointed at the spot right in the middle of his forehead. “I’m pulling the trigger here. You’re working here while undercover for him, aren’t you?”

Yuta shook his head while keeping his gaze glued on you. “I’m not working for anyone else except you. I joined here only to work for you.”

“Bullshit. Why were you with Lord just now?”

Yuta dreaded answering that very moment. It was going to change your thoughts on him and he wasn’t ready for that. Not when he was the one responsible for once killing ones in your vicinity. “I once worked with him. Just for one time.”

Just as you had expected, you found your reason to kill him. But what you didn’t expect was the thing said next that had blackness clouding your vision.

“I was assigned to kill Taemin’s manager… and Sungchan.”

Sungchan.

Your personal assistant during your time as an actress. You couldn’t believe the one responsible for his death had been by your side and currently standing right before your eyes. Too zoned out of your surroundings due to sheer shock, you didn’t realize when they’d return and had a punch be thrown at Yuta’s face, causing Yuta to bend over by the blow.

Haechan fumed angrily at Yuta’s face while being held back by Jungwoo by the waist. “You fucking asshole! I’ll kill you with my own hands for killing Sungchan!”

Yuta silently accepted his fate and didn’t fight back. If he had known that contract would have resulted him in the current situation, then he would have never agreed to fulfill Lord’s request in the first place. Being on the rooftop of the building adjacent to your agency’s was when he was blessed by your presence through the lens of his fatal weapon. But a deal was a deal, and he couldn’t go back to Lord for failing his mission when sworn as the best assassinate in the underworld.

“Why did you kill them?” Renjun asked.

Yuta sighed dejectedly. “Lord said Taemin’s manager knew about him and couldn’t keep him alive. And for Sungchan,” he paused while trying to recollect the exact words, “said something like the boy ruined his plan.”

The words stirred something inside Haechan and realization dawned in him, making him quit trashing in Jungwoo’s hold as he stared at Yuta in shock. “Fuck,” he cursed under his breath, followed by a much louder scream when pushing Jungwoo off. “Fuck! Don’t you fucking dare tell me that asshole wanted Sungchan gone because of that time noona went to that restaurant with who we thought was Taemin, and Sungchan told me... and then... fuck!” He grabbed a fistful of his hair in his hands while repeatedly cursing under his breath.

Mark tried to calm Haechan down with a gentle pat on his shoulder. “Hey, it’s not your fault. We had to do what we could to keep Y/N-ssi safe no matter what.”

“Yeah but… hold up. Where’s noona?” Haechan asked when trying to locate the very person they were supposed to keep safe at all times.

Confused, the others looked around, wondering when you had quietly sneaked out without anyone’s attention, expect for Kun. Kun noticed the emotionless look on your face during Haechan’s commotion while you walked away from the scene quietly, and he had an idea for what was going to happen next.

“Maybe she left to have some time for herself?” Johnny suggested. It was a big shock that a member currently in your gang turned out to be the killer of your dear one.

Renjun shook his head, images of merciless you rushing in his head. “With the way things have been going lately, I doubt it.”

“Maybe we should look for her,” Jeno added.

Mark nodded. “We should. Just to make sure she doesn’t hurt herself.”

Before the boys could disperse to search for you, Jungwoo spotted you slowly walking back into their sight. “Oh noona!”

But the boys’ relief soon turned to fear when seeing your eyes distant and a lengthy weapon pointing downwards in your hold.

“Uh noona, what are you going to do?” Jeno questioned anxiously.

Your cold gaze focused back to the present moment and fixated on the man responsible for the start of your traumatic events, in particular being the one who had you at first become horrified by the sound of gunshots. Yuta watched you with his heart thumping fast. The moment he dreaded for arrived sooner than he thought.

You lifted the rifle, the same one Taeyong thought you on that very day when your life changed upside down, reminiscing the way Taeyong embraced you to correctly hold the rifle for shot precision and thinking about your love had your grip on the gun tighten murderously.

You were determined to kill Yuta.

“Y/N-ssi, please think before pulling the trigger,” Mark pleaded. The last thing anyone would want was to regret the blood of a corpse tainting the common area.

Your hard glare on Yuta didn’t waver. “Why should I?” Your tone was almost inaudible but everyone in the room heard it.

“Why would Yuta join us if he was going to betray us?”

“Obviously to pass info about noona to that fucking asshole!” Haechan yelled furiously at Mark.

“But what exactly did Yuta tell Lord though?” Johnny asked.

All eyes landed on the one in question, who stayed deadly silent throughout. Yuta heaved out a heavy breath, the time being his one and only moment to clear up the misunderstanding before his death by your hands, and muttered, “You guys can think whatever you want of me. Yes, I did go to Lord but not for the reason you guys think I did. He contacted me again for another task. He doesn’t know that I work for you.” He paused while softly looking into your glare. “He wants me to look for someone.”

Your resolve weakened with the rifle feeling a little heavier than before as you recalled the very words of the man you shot in public after meeting with Lord’s chauffeur, followed by the devil himself. They were all looking for someone... “Who?” You were getting very annoyed with the endless game of determining who the infamous person was that Lord was after.

Yuta pondered for a bit, debating whether to tell you or not, eventually going for the latter. “It’s not confirmed yet.” He wouldn’t want you doubting his words, have you think he was lying and further strengthen your will to kill him.

Your patience was running thin. If one more person was to tell you the exact thing you had heard three times, then you were going to torture them until you’ve wrung out the answer. “Just spit out who!” you yelled in rage.

Yuta flinched at your tone, and his heart ached to not utter the name. The second he did, he knew he’d lose you forever. Scanning his eyes around the room at the members, all of them wore a stressed look as they anxiously waited for the name that had Lord so desperate to get his hands on.

With an exasperated huff, he ripped the name off his lips like a bandaid. “Taeyong.”

- ❀ -

Taeil carefully covered the open wound on Yuta’s left shoulder after pulling out the bullet and stopping the bleeding. “Had it been any lower, it would have been the end of you,” he commented with seriousness.

Mark nodded. “Yo, you’re lucky Y/N-ssi spared you.”

Renjun clicked his tongue. “No, I think she meant to aim his heart but missed.”

Jungwoo shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. The main point is something else other than Yuta getting shot.”

Johnny nodded. “That’s right. That’s far more important than anything else.”

Their eyes landed on Yuta to which he avoided with his gaze fixed to the floor. The image of you shooting him after uttering the name you longed to hear and storming away without a single glance back repeated in Yuta’s mind on an endless loop.

You on the other hand were pacing back and forth in the study room, your hands going through your hair in urgency to find answers. Kun, Haechan and Jeno glanced at each other anxiously while waiting for you to say something.

You hated being conflicted, only ever giving your all to one side of the balance scale. But here you were stuck right in the middle, unsure which direction to head into, which side to weigh more in. You wanted to kill Yuta so bad for causing such pandemonium in your heart. But killing him wouldn’t bring the answers that had your heart and soul so desperate for.

“What the hell do I do?” You shouted more to yourself.

Nervously, Jeno spoke up. “Noona, why don’t you rest?” Jeno hoped you could think things more clearly after some sleep.

Haechan scoffed. “You think she can sleep after hearing that hyung could be alive? But if he’s alive, then why hadn’t he come back to us or even just once contacted us?”

Your fist full of your hair clenched harder at all that you had been through without Taeyong. If only had he been by your side all this time could he have tamed your insanity.

Kun gently wondered aloud, “If Yuta looks for Taeyong for Lord, that’s dangerous since Lord wanted to kill him. We need to keep Yuta by our side.”

Haechan crossed his arms for a simpler solution. “Or just kill him. It’s not like a dead body can search for hyung anyway.”

Jeno tutted in disagreement. “Keeping Yuta is better. You never know. We can use him to our advantage against Lord.”

Your head ached the more your boys shared their opinions. The mess, the internal conflicts all had you blindsided by anger, feeling a hot rage and muttering the thing that you’d never in your right mind would ever dare to utter through gritted teeth. “I’m going to kill Taeyong.”

- ❀ -

The sun blazed down on you while leaning against your van with your arms crossed and your eyes behind your dark shades trailing up and down the tall building. Jungwoo pulled out a pack of cigarette, and tucked one in between his teeth. Flickering the lighter up, he ignited it at its butt and took a long drag in, puffing out white smoke. You plucked it out from his mouth and copied his action without a care. Bewildered, Jungwoo bit back his tongue since it was you. But when Renjun stole it from you for a puff, Jungwoo whined. “Hey! That’s mine.”

Renjun merely brushed him off. “You have more.”

While the three of you stood leaning against the van, the door to it was wide open where Haechan lazed inside with his eyes closed. A bit of smoke hit his noise and he figured what happened, making him exhale loudly. “The stress has gotten to everyone,” he mumbled. Johnny quietly sat in the passenger seat with the window rolled down, on standby mode.

The past few days had been tough on your gang as every moment felt like a ticking bomb for your boys every time you and Yuta were in the same room. Yuta despised the way you treated him, it being better that you’d treat him like an incompetent than hate him like an enemy. One time, Yuta tried to get onto your good side by bringing everyone drinks from your favourite café. For you to take your preferred caramel macchiato, pluck the lid off, and pour it all by his feet while holding a challenging gaze at him had everyone in the room gasp in shock and know that things weren’t going to get better between the two of you.

As if the boys weren’t already stressed of your vicious self recently and the revenge that Yuta had to become an additional stressor, top that off with their former boss’s unknown whereabouts.

Renjun’s eyes fixated at the peak of the building and asked, “What’s your plan, noona?”

You tilted you head while crossing your arms in front of your chest. “Find out when and which casino he goes to.”

Your next prey was a sidekick of Lord’s underboss. He was an interesting one because you had lately made a deal with him despite knowing he was someone of Lord’s yet you purposely hadn’t taken any action to harm him. Why? Because you had a fun idea in mind after learning that he was an avid gambler.

Your gore-filled imagines were interrupted when a soccer ball came rolling in your direction, hitting the front of your heels before bouncing off to a stop. A group of three cheerful little boys were chasing up to it. “Sorry!” one shouted and giggled.

Your short-temper got the best of you and with quick movements, you reached for the back of your waistband, retrieving a pistol out and shooting the ball without hesitation. The silencer muffled the sound of the gunshot, but the sight of the firearm, the ball popping and witnessing their beloved soccer ball deflate in seconds had the kids come to a complete stop along with their giggles, their expressions no longer joyful but rather filled with horror.

Jungwoo stared at you unamused as he expected that from you, Johnny didn’t give much of a reaction except for a tired sigh, shocked Renjun felt absolutely terrible for the children. Haechan shot up from his seat in alert and put the pieces together when seeing the scene in front of his eyes. “Noona, you shouldn’t have done that,” he muttered in disbelief.

“Here,” you spoke loudly enough for the kids to hear. “Take this trash away,” you said as you kicked the deflated rubbish in their direction.

The kids began screaming and crying as they ran away in fear. You didn’t care and harshly told Haechan to move for you to get in.

Jungwoo whispered to Renjun low enough to not let it reach your ears, “Do you think she’ll ever actually kill a child?”

Unbeknownst to your gang as the van prepared to leave, a lone figure covertly stood from afar as his newly dyed hair gently blew with the breeze, broken-hearted at the sight of how you’d become.

- ❀ -

You adored your newly done red manicure, silver rings decorated your fingers and a silver chain braced along your wrist right before the cuff of your white long-sleeved maxi dress. The van pulled to a stop a block before reaching the destination: the casino.

Jeno turned to you from beside and with a nervous heart asked, “Are you sure you still want to do this?”

It was a risky plan where you’d have to leave your boys’ sight in order to accomplish your mission, and that too to kill one of the higher ups under Lord.

You lifted your gaze to take a quick nonchalant glance at him before resuming your admiration for your nails. “Why not?”

“If anything goes wrong…” Jeno trailed off, expecting you to understand what he was hinting at. If anything did go wrong, then your life was dependent on your current enemy closest to you in your gang.

Yuta.

Johnny was covering the ground to avoid any chance of abduction while Yuta covered the higher levels of the casino building by being situated with his bullets ready in an adjacent building. If anything were to happen while you were alone with your prey, then you were relying on Yuta to save your life. At least the nighttime would make it easier for Yuta to save you as it was easier to see the inside of a lit room at night than day.

“Nothing will happen. Just because I had to give up on my acting career doesn’t mean acting died inside me. He won’t suspect me,” you reassured.

Kun opened the door to your side and offered his hand. You took his hand and stepped out carefully, making sure your red high heels wouldn’t be wrecked before it could meet its pre-determined fate.

“How do my lips look?” you asked Kun, already knowing how your red lips looks.

Kun gave you a serious and assured nod. “As dangerous as always.”

A corner of your lips curled up being highly satisfied by his answer. “Perfect.”

Walking through the opened doors of the brightly-lit casino, your eyes were busy scanning for your target, not giving any mind at the numerous bodies everywhere who gambled with their currencies or watched the plays with drinks in hand.

Kun came close to your ear and whispered, “He’s at the far end to your two o’clock.”

You immediately spotted him at one of the tables in midst of a round. Giving Kun a nod, it was time to play your cards and turn your prey’s night upside down. Your heels clicked with confidence as you marched up to the middle-aged man with a couple of young ladies glued to his sides, fake laughing at anything the man had to say. Lavishly radiating beauty and power, you slid to the empty seat beside him. All heads at the table turned your way, stunned to be graced by your presence.

“Oh, Y/N-ssi! What a lovely surprise,” your prey, who went by Choi, greeted you by dismissing the ladies away.

Putting on your best smile, you played along. “Indeed, it is a lovely surprise, especially when you’ve got so many chips in your possession.” You feigned amazement at all the colourful chips that would soon turn into cash. “You know,” you began while shifting your body closer to him, lingering a finger on the back of his hand, making it twitch upon contact. It’s working, you thought. “I’ve always had a thing for you,” you spoke smoothly.

He blinked in surprise and gulped at your comment. “Seriously?”

Nodding, you leaned in close and whispered for only him to hear. “Why don’t we have a night of our own? I have a room booked under my name.”

Right on cue, a staff walked up to you with a bright smile and handed over your key card. “Ma’am, your room is ready,” she informed. You picked it up, knowing Kun had sent her.

Choi couldn’t believe his luck and was overly excited for the sensual night to come. “I’d love to!”

Success! “Follow me then,” you murmured seductively and slid off your seat, treading to the elevator. Choi staggered off his seat and quickly caught up to you. He snaked an arm around your waist, hugging you closer to his belly but you stayed as composed as you could without cringing physically. Only a matter of minutes before his eyes go lifeless, you reminded yourself.

Once the elevator doors shut closed, Choi tried to bring his lips closer to you, but you held a finger up against them to stop him. “We’ll start the fun only in our room,” you instructed softly to which he thankfully obeyed.

Swiping your card to your room, you pushed the door opened which had Choi barging in eagerly. Just as you shut the door behind you, you watched him pull his blazer off, then unbuckle his belt, and then began unbuttoning his shirt. The room was small enough to make Yuta’s job easy if he were to use his bullets. But based on how Choi was desperate to show his vulnerable side, you wouldn’t need Yuta.

Slowly, you amorously walked towards him. Your hands bent to reach for the backside zipper, unzipping it down smoothly. As you approached close to him, your free hand went to trail along his bare chest while the other was still behind you, to what he assumed was you undoing your clothing. Right when you were close enough for him to lean for a kiss on the lips, you brought your hidden weapon out and jammed it hard in his stomach.

His eyes were blown out by the sudden attack, jaw dropped to the floor and no sound came out of him for a moment as he struggled to compose himself. When his eyes dropped to what had pierced into his belly, his hands trembled while attempting to grip your hand in order to weakly pull the knife out of his flesh. But you were stronger and resolute, and twisted it a 360 degree as if drilling a hole in him before pulling it out. Blood splattered and trickled over his skin to pool around his feet. His eyes shut in pain and panted hard before a scream ripped from his mouth when you jabbed the knife in another spot on his belly.

You chuckled darkly at his facial expressions twisting between pain and losing consciousness as blood continuously spilled out of his wounds. Your stained knife was brought up to his face and smeared his blood along his lips. “See? Didn’t we have fun? You got a chance to wear your own lipstick,” you said softly and laughed menacingly when you found that he wasn’t listening, wasn’t with you anymore. With the end of your knife, you pushed his head to make him fall lifeless to the floor.

Bending down, you picked up his abandoned shirt and wiped clean of your knife before fixing it back into your waistband. After fixing yourself, you stepped on him to head out of the room, purposely digging your heel into the open wound, making more blood erupt out of the hole. Every step you took left a little bit of blood until it dried away.

-

“Fucking code red!” Haechan screamed into his phone.

Jeno held his phone away and once Haechan quietened, he asked, “What do you mean?”

“I’m supposed to keep a tab on who’s coming to the casino tonight, and guess what? The underboss is!”

Jeno’s face paled at the possibility of things going downhill, and it might happen sooner than he thought when he suddenly noticed a sleek black car pull up by the entrance of the building and out stepped the underboss named Milan. You had been doing well keeping everything in check and making sure none of the higher ups under Lord knew about your deadly revenge. You knew war was bound to be declared but not when you weren’t prepared for it at the casino.

“Oh shit,” he muttered and cut Haechan’s call, speed dialling Kun right away.

Kun received the news and began panicking. It was only a matter of moments before the underboss would make his way into the casino, and the second Milan couldn’t locate Choi, suspicion was bound to rise.

He couldn’t take the elevator to find you as no one else was allowed to know the room number except for the name on the cardholder. You didn’t have your phone on you, so he couldn’t deliver the news that you had to leave the site before Choi’s death was discovered and you could bid farewell to your safe escape. Fighting against an underboss like Milan’s level wasn’t going to be easy and your gang wasn’t ready for that just yet.

Kun dialled for the only sniper who could give him an answer of your current status.

Yuta pressed the button on his earpiece while keeping his eye glued to the lifeless room. He was only in standby mode until he received the cue from Kun that the operation was over. “Yeah?”

“Yuta, where’s Y/N-ssi?” Kun asked urgently.

The sniper frowned. “She left the room a while ago. Shouldn’t she be down by now?”

Kun kept his eyes locked on the elevators, hoping one of them would miraculously open for you before Milan spotted you. “She’s not here yet.”

Based on Yuta’s calculations, you should have already been on your way out for the van. What happened Y/N, he thought to himself as his heart grew restless.

-

Exhausted, you stepped into the elevator and pressed for the ground floor. The doors closed and began moving with the gravity slowly. Shutting your eyes, you leaned against the side and tilted your head to rest against the wall. Being on one of the top floors meant you couldn’t have reached the ground floor that fast when you heard the elevator opened with a ‘ting.’ Curious, you opened your eyes in time to see a lean man in a dark suit walk in with a sequinned mask covering his entire face, only leaving two tiny holes for vision and hair peeking out.

He pressed the button for the level that was two floors above the ground and stood away from you with hands in his pockets. His blonde hair ran a little long that covered the back of his neck. Being highly suspicious, your hand should have already been reaching for your weapon. But for some reason, the faceless man had you stay defenceless.

When the doors shut and moved down for a bit, the man stepped forward and pulled the brakes, making the elevator stop in its tracks. You glued yourself more to the wall, mentally preparing yourself to throw fists and kicks, but all plans went down the drain when the man ripped his mask off to reveal the face of the one you longed to see, the one you longed to be in the arms of, the one you shed too many tears for, the one who you wished was by your side during your times of insanity, the one you wanted to kill…

“Taeyong…” you breathed out in sheer shock. Was he really there in front of you?

He abandoned his mask on the floor and stepped in front of you with crinkling eyes and a soft smile adorning his face. Without saying a word, he greeted you with his warm hands coming up to caress your face and planted a long kiss on your forehead.

A sudden electrifying warmth spread throughout your body, one you didn’t think your body was capable of feeling with the twisted reality. The nostalgic feeling of his lips on your head brought back a longing for all the precious moments that you had spent with Taeyong in the past. You wanted to ask a thousand questions but your tongue failed to form any words. How was he? Where had he been? What happened that night? Was he really alive? Why hadn’t he contacted you right away?

You lost the warmth when he pulled away and Taeyong sensed your panic. He gave you a reassuring smile while taking off his blazer, draping it around your waist and tying it by the sleeves to cover the splatters of blood of your recent kill. He held your face again and gently spoke, “Listen to me carefully. Once you get off this elevator, hide yourself while looking for Kun and get out of this building. Don’t get caught by Lord’s underboss.”

You missed his voice so much and finally hearing it momentarily brought a sense of tranquility to the calamity in your soul. Your hands reached up to hold his touch on your face. “Please don’t leave me,” you pleaded in a whisper, your eyes burning to break.

It was hard for Taeyong to dare and leave you in your current state, but he had to do it. He leaned his head against yours, keeping his gaze locked on you, and released one hand from you to press the button for the elevator to resume operation. “I promise, you’ll see me again,” he assured, snaking the free arm around your waist to bring you even closer to him, cherishing the moment before the elevator stopped for his floor.

Your hands repositioned to grab fistfuls of his white shirt, determined to not let him go. But your resolve weakened when Taeyong gently uncurled your fists from his shirt to not waste any time for your safe escape. Your sobs were mere seconds away from breaking loose. The doors tinged open and he stepped out. He blocked your way and shook his head when you were desperate to step out with him.

“Remember my words, Y/N,” he murmured.

You kept your eyes locked with his, neither of you moving or saying another word as the elevator parted the two of you. Once he was out of your sight, you crumbled to the floor, releasing all the tears that you suppressed for Taeyong. It only took a few seconds until the elevator reach the ground floor and that was when Taeyong’s words struck you.

When the doors opened, Kun was relieved to finally see you, though worried why you were on the floor with an unknown jacket around your waist, one that didn’t resemble with Choi’s. But it was no time for questioning. He cautiously looked around him and lend a hand out for you. “Y/N-ssi, we need to leave.”

You stared at his hand as Taeyong’s words rang in you.

Hide. Kun. Don’t get caught.

Taking Kun’s hand, you urgently scrambled to your feet and rushed for the exit while Kun kept an eye out for the underboss who was currently on the other side of the casino, unsuspecting of his missing sidekick.

Stepping past the threshold of the casino brought relief and even more when getting back into your van. Jeno stepped on the gas to drive you away from the danger while Kun texted Yuta and Johnny to meet with Haechan, signalling the end of the operation.

- ❀ -

In the pitch of darkness and silence, you laid in bed. In Taeyong’s bed. Every night, ever since the night of bombing where you believed that you had lost him forever, you’d curl up against the sheets, hoping to cling onto any lingering scent of his.

If it weren’t for the jacket that you were currently draped in, then you would have lost the littlest sanity that was left in you. It wasn’t your hallucination, wasn’t your dream. You really did see him, really did feel his lips against your skin, really did feel his bodily warmth.

You’ll see him again, you reminded yourself, it being the only hope to keep yourself moving for the revenge. “But when,” you croaked out weakly. You hoped that the next time you did see him again, you’d get your answers to all your questions.

The silence was broken by the sound of three knocks. When the door opened without a cue of your permission, you figured it was Haechan because the only other person who did that was away.

“Noona?”

Surprisingly, it was Jungwoo.

Heaving out a heavy sigh, you sat up on the bed while your eyes adjusted to the sudden lights that Jungwoo flickered on. He made his way towards you and sat quietly at the foot of your bed, playing with the Rubik cube. His eyes avoided yours and you noticed the fine lines of stress in between his brows.

“What is it?” you asked gently. It amazed you that during your cold-blooded decisions, he always sided with you without questions, but you expected that much for someone with specialty in torturous activities. You had grown a soft spot for him like you did with your boys during your actress life like Haechan.

He looked up to you with gentle eyes and softly asked, “You saw Taeyong hyung, didn’t you?”

When you returned home from the operation, your boys had noticed an unknown jacket wrapped around you but no one dared to utter a word of it. At first, Jungwoo thought it was just a spare jacket to cover the blood stains on your dress and that it would soon be burnt to ashes. But seeing that you still kept the blazer on could only mean one thing.

You only nodded in response. There was nothing else you could tell him of your priceless fleeting moment with Taeyong.

Jungwoo looked away from your gloomy eyes. “Noona, there’s something I want to tell you.” He took a moment to gather his thoughts and illustrate his appreciation for you. “For someone who’s never been exposed to the real underworld, you’re doing really well and I’m proud of you.”

You were stunned by his sudden declaration of gratitude and your ears perked up to sink in the words that you yearned to hear from the beginning of your time.

“Taeyong hyung had never been the kind of mafia leader like you are. Of course, he’d act against anyone who messed with him, but at the end of the day, he still had a soft persona for the innocent. You aren’t like that, but then I don’t think you ever would have become like this if it weren’t for everything you lost.”

He turned back to you with a glimmer twinkling in his eyes. “The way you kept going and never once regretted your actions no matter how cruel they’d be… I really respect you, noona.”

Your eye failed to contain the well as a teardrop slid slowly over your cheek. Your new self was too foreign for you that if anyone had told you that this was your future, you’d scoff at them and think it was absurd. But here you were, villainous, morally grey, all from everything you had to lose. Your passion, freedom and people. Losing it all to Lord.

Hugging your legs to your chest, you dropped your exhausted head onto your bent knees.

Jungwoo suggested, “I think you should take a break. Go visit your grandmother.”

- ❀ -

Turning off the engine of your car, you flipped down the self-mirror to check your state, making sure to look as joyful and presentable to the best of your ability. The last thing you wanted was for your grandmother find out your stress-filled life and have her worry endlessly. You planned to stay at your grandmother’s overnight as a small break from reality.

Getting out of your car, you stretched out your tired limbs, feeling the fatigue already wear off as the warm, sunny weather matched with your projected mood. You always felt serene watching the green leaves rustle gently with the breeze and listening to the birds chirp happily on the roof of the house. A smile stretched its way across your pink-glossed lips, feeling instantly relaxed and grateful for Jungwoo’s recommendation.

Your light footsteps headed for the steps of the house. “Granny!” you called for her excitedly, but your excitement soon died when you noticed a never-seen-before vehicle stationed off to the side of the house.

Your grandmother squeals at the sight of you and rushed to you. “Oh, my angel!” Her laughter usually had you reciprocating it back, but you could only give her a forced smile. “How are you? Has life been treating you well?” she asked.

Without answering her, you questioned, “Granny, who’s bike is that?” Seeing her all cheerful meant she wasn’t held in any danger, or at least you hoped that was the case. And even if she were to own a bike, it should have been something safer like a scooter, not be an expensive sports bike.

She clapped her hands happily as it clicked her. “Ah right! Yongie has been living with me for some time now.”

Taken by surprise, you wondered if your ears were playing a trick on you. “Yongie?”

Your grandmother turned her head and hollered, “Yongie! Come out! Y/N-ah is here!”

Your heart beat faster in anticipation to see the face that you’d been craving to see again, the moment arriving a lot sooner than expected after he promised that you’d see him again. After a brief moment of having your gaze trained on the entrance of the house, the world seemed to have stopped moving when your love stepped out into the sun, wearing his signature dazzling smile that moved your heart.

“Taeyong,” you breathed out in disbelief. Not once had you visited your grandmother since the start of your revenge. If this was where Taeyong had been hiding all this time, then you wanted to smack yourself for not thinking of coming to your safe haven earlier.

Your grandmother cleared her throat when sensing the atmosphere between you two. “I’ll leave you two alone to talk it out.” And right after, she scurried away for the kitchen with a wide grin.

Your eyes never once blinked when fixated on Taeyong as he walked towards you with hands in the pockets of his pants. A thin, white sleeved shirt loosely hugged his frame and his blonde hair was styled down to the side handsomely. He stopped right in front of you and with a heartfelt smile, he muttered, “We meet again.”

-

You sat on the steps, facing the sunlight, while Taeyong laid on the hard floor next to you, arms bent to rest under his head while staring aimlessly at the ceiling.

You broke the silence first and asked, “How did you get out alive?”

Sighing, he recalled the night of the warehouse incident. “I stole the keys to one of the bikes that were there. I made sure to set the bomb off once I was out.”

“You could have given us some hint that you were alive.”

Taeyong hummed. “Yeah, I could have. But it’s better everyone thought I was dead.”

Outraged, you turned to him. “Better thought dead? Do you have any idea what I had to go through without you?” you shouted. If your grandmother heard you, then you were thankful that she didn’t come out asking what was going on.

Exhaling through his nose, he clarified, “It’s better than a slip up. You know Lord is out to kill me.”

Huffing, you commented, “And we already have a slip up.”

“What do you mean?”

Running a hand through your hair, you told him. “Yuta. Know that great assassinate who worked freelance? He’s now in our gang. But he’s the one who killed Sungchan per Lord’s request, and he just received another request from him to look for you.” You turned your body to face him and asked, “What do I do with Yuta?” It was risky keeping him in case Yuta found Taeyong, but being a sniper with skills, it’d be a waste to kill him if Yuta really was on your side.

Taeyong sat up and gave you a half smile. “If you don’t know what to do, leave it for now. At the right time, you’ll know what to do.”

You scrunched your brows. “How can you be so sure?”

His smile stretched wide across his face. “I know what you’ve been up to. Always know that I’m everywhere you go like your shadow.” His smile faltered when recalling the events where you traumatized innocent lives at the restaurant, a family in their home and the childhood of small boys. He never thought his disappearance would cause excessive pain in you to turn malicious, and could only hope that things would get better now that you knew he was alive. But not completely better until Lord was wiped clean from the face of earth.

You scoffed at him. “How is that even possible?”

He picked his smile back up and dropped the secret innocently. “I had Sungchan install a tracking chip in your phone. I’m always keeping an eye on you to make sure you’re safe.”

The only time when Sungchan could have had your phone was during your shooting schedule, which meant that Taeyong had your location all this time. “Woah, I can’t believe I’ve never once spotted you when I can always find Lord’s men stalking me in an instant.” A half laugh parted from you in amazement. “As expected from a mafia boss.”

-

Taeyong kneeled down to arrange the bedding and blankets for bedtime. You stood by the opening of the room, looking between him and your grandmother who was busying herself with last minute cleanup outside before calling it a night.

You headed inside in the room and kneeled down beside him. “So, how did you get Granny to let you stay here? Does she know you’re a…?”

The corner of his lips curled up. “She knows.”

“Really?”

“What do I know?”

“Granny!” You were startled by your grandmother suddenly bursting into the small room.

Taeyong answered, “That I’m a mafia leader.”

Her eyes lit up as she remembered the info. “Ah! Yes yes, I know.”

You arched an eyebrow at her. “And you’re completely fine with that?”

“Of course! Wait till I tell you of my days back when I was a gangster myself.”

You skeptically wondered if your grandmother was under illusion about it. But one glance at Taeyong’s warm smile had you feeling that she was saying the truth. “Are you really being serious, Granny?”

“I am being serious! Ask Yongie yourself! I told him all the stories. People were scared of me every time I was in the neighbourhood,” she proudly mentioned.

Taeyong brought his lips close to your ear and teasingly whispered, “It looks like it runs in the blood.”

“Okay, quit wasting time and go to bed already. Give me good news tomorrow morning,” she winked at you, and shut the door behind her, locking it from the outside.

Her last words threw you off guard. “Wait! What do you mean by that? And why did you lock the door?” you shouted. But all you could hear was her giggling as she scampered away.

Taeyong stifled back his laughter and you gave him a sheepish smile. “Why does she have to be so embarrassing?” you muttered.

Taeyong stood up and walked over to the dresser in the corner of the room. You didn’t mean to stare but you couldn’t keep your eyes off him when he pulled his shirt over his head to fold it away, leaving him shirtless and what he had on his backside exposed.

You gasped at the sight of it, making Taeyong smirk cockily. “Like what you see?” he asked in huskiness.

You mentally smacked yourself back in place before you ended up looking like a total fool. Clearing your throat, you said, “I didn’t know you had a tattoo on your back.”

He turned to you, and this time your eyes widened at the sight of his abs side having more of the tattoo.

Tattoo of a giant dragon in black ink.

Taeyong chuckled at your reaction and walked back to sit in front of you. “Do you like it?” he repeated, leaning close to you while earnestly waiting for your response.

You gulped nervously. How were you going to tell him that it was driving you absolutely crazy? Nodding, you whispered, “I love it.”

With a half-smile, he picked up your hand and guided you to touch along his front-side tattoo. The slight scraping of your nails stirred him hard as desire filled his eyes. Without delay, you latched your lips onto his, hungrily savouring the taste of him. His tongue delved in to explore your mouth while his hands carefully laid you down on the bedding, adjusting the pillow under your head before exploring under your top.

-

Sunlight seeped through the window as you gleefully cuddled against Taeyong in his lap on the floor. His back rested against the wall and his arms kept you as close to his warmth as possible. His lips pressed to your head and you relished in his embrace, until your grandmother suddenly unlocked the door and popped her head in.

“Rise and shine! Oh my God, why are you two fully dressed?” she asked as if greatly disappointed in you.

You stared at her incredulously. “What do you mean why we’re dressed? Are you expecting us to be naked?”

“Yes! How else are you gonna have a baby?”

Your head ached the more your grandmother had to give you second-hand embarrassment. Taeyong did his best to suppress his laughter as his shoulders trembled.

You refuted back, “Well, it’s not like we’re going to stay naked knowing you’ll come in at any second just like now!”

She huffed and ultimately agreed. “Okay okay, but just know that I’m say no to death until I hold your baby.” She walked away and muttered, “You guys are so responsible. Back in my days, we were so reckless.”

Your jaw hung utterly in shock while Taeyong burst out into tears of laughter.

-

Clicking the button to unlock your car, you heaved out a breath, unwilling to depart from your grandmother’s and go back to reality. You turned to Taeyong who still wore a smile but this one didn’t quite reach his eyes. “When will you come back?” you asked with your heart anticipating for a response that would have you look forward to.

He pressed his lips before answering. “Soon.”

Dejected, you pouted slightly. How soon was soon? “You know that Lord knows you’re alive. Are you still going to hide?”

Taeyong nodded. “I’ll attack at the right time.” He reached for your cheek and caressed you tenderly. “I have my eyes on someone right now. Once we remove him from the picture, hell will break loose and you’ll need to be ready for it.”

You weren’t worried about being ready as you were always on lookout for hell. “Who is this person?”

“Milan. Lord’s underboss.”

He was the one you had to hide from at the casino. “That hell might be breaking sooner rather than later, right?” For Milan to put the pieces together and link Choi’s death to you was going to be a no-brainer, and then he would do anything to rid any danger around him even if that meant killing the one his boss wanted alive. Before Milan could get to you, you had to finish him, and when Lord’s own subordinate was out of the picture, there was no knowing what Lord was going to do and that was going to be the real war against Lord.

Nodding, Taeyong pulled you into a hug. He patted your head gently and muttered, “Don’t worry. Like I said, I’ll be your shadow keeping you safe.”

- ❀ -

Milan took a deep breath in with the cigarette held between his index and middle fingers and puffed out a white fog. The cigarette crushed in his hold as rage and fear overwhelmed him. His lawyer stood next to him, giving guidance for his well-being. “Either leave the country or kill her.”

Killing you meant being beheaded by Lord. If anyone were to harm Lord’s precious darling, then they could confidently bid farewell to their lives, even if you were after them in the first place. “Do you think I’ll be spared if I leave the country?” There was no guarantee for his safety after seeking refuge in another country if you were determined to out him.

The lawyer sighed. “Then you know what to do.”

- ❀ -

Walking back into the mansion, you found your boys waiting for your arrival. You made sure to keep a neutral expression to not give away of your recent encounter. Your eyes landed on Yuta who stood stiff and ready for your command. Having him in your gang still brought unbounded stress on you. Blindly trusting him was risky, but Taeyong not telling you to kill him had stopped you from doing so. You knew Taeyong wasn’t going to get caught no matter what. Whether Yuta were to report to Lord or not was what you needed to find out.

Walking up to Yuta, you stopped right in front, shocking him and your boys in the room. It was the first time you had come close to him ever since the beginning of the cold war. Yuta’s mouth hung slightly in surprise as he stared into your icy eyes.

Crossing your arms in front of your chest, you decided on asking the one thing that would finalize your endless internal battle. “About Lord’s request. What are you going to do once you find Taeyong?”

Speechless by the sudden inquiry, Yuta gathered his thoughts, “Lord wanted me to kill him.”

Without waiting for him to make up his mind, with seriousness you ordered, “Then kill Taeyong.”

His eyes widened in pure shock as audible gasps filled the room.

“Noona, are you being serious?” Jungwoo asked.

Without lifting your hard stare on Yuta, you answered, “I’m not playing the slightest bit. It’s my order for you, Yuta. Kill Taeyong once you find him.”

“Having you fucking lost it?” Haechan screamed at you. “I’m going to fucking kill someone.”

You glanced at Haechan. “You can kill him too.” You knew Haechan wouldn’t.

“Y/N-ssi, please think this through. If this is your real order for Yuta, he will get it done,” Kun spoke with urgency noted in his tone.

Though you were calm as you could ever be. “I know, which is why this will be your real order, Yuta.” You locked your gaze back on the infamous assassin. “Kill Taeyong. As per Lord’s request, and as my order.”

-

“What fucking crack are you on?” Haechan stormed right behind you as you headed inside your bedroom. “I thought we all wanted hyung back!” he yelled.

You stuck with you plan in case of unwanted ears dwelling around, it was better to have everyone think the same of your decision than be divided. “When did I say I wanted Taeyong back?” Your tone was low and composed. Your old self would have had your heart threatening to burst out of pounding anxiety at the given order, but your new self was calm as if you knew the outcome already of the plan. It wasn’t just a test to see whose side Yuta was on.

You wanted Yuta to aim his bullet for Taeyong so that you could end him.

- ❀ -

Trees sped by you, but you didn’t pay any mind to them as your thoughts were preoccupied by your plan for the night. Sitting in the passenger seat next to your despised member, you pondered about who the lucky ones were going to be in having their fates meet with your bullets.

Yuta drove with his palms tightly secured to the steering wheel. It was only him and you in the car. Your plan was risky but it had to be done before you’d come face to face with Lord. Unaware of your true intentions for the night, your boys weren’t happy with your decision of going out without more backup for your safety… and in case you killed Yuta on the streets. But no one dared to refute the icy cold look on your face when you swore that you weren’t going to come back alone.

After much time, Yuta asked, “Where exactly are we going?”

Without looking at him, you muttered, “To Milan.”

Yuta’s heart pounded hard in his throat as he swerved the car to the side, stopping it momentarily. He turned his body to face you from his seat. “Why are we not bringing the others? You know Milan would want you dead.”

You shrugged carelessly. “It’ll be obvious we’re out to attack.” Finally giving him a glance, you said, “Don’t worry about me. Let’s see how good you really are at your job.” And whose side he was on.

Milan worked till late nights on the top floor in the company building. It was bound to be difficult to eliminate him when he had security cameras within his office, keeping a tab for the main grounds and the happenings within the building. If you came into sight, your opponent was bound to set off an alarm for his men to get you.

Yuta was at a bind. He could easily finish the task by going in himself and shoot Milan in his office. But that meant leaving you alone and he couldn’t do that no matter what’d you say. As always, your safety came first. “What’s the plan?” he asked after turning off the car ignition a block away from destination to avoid being directly under a camera’s view.

And exactly just what he feared came true. “You go and kill him,” you said.

“What about you?”

You gave him a cold glare. “Like I said before. Don’t worry about me.”

With a heavy sigh, he willed himself to be ready for an unpredictable night.

-

Fixing a black cap on your head and a black face mask to help shield your identity from the lens of a camera, you watched Yuta enter the building from your seat without a hassle just like you had expected. You waited a few minutes, giving him enough time to go up before you’d make your move. After you stepped out the car and shut the door behind you, you looked around your vicinity, keeping check of anything out of place. Spotting nothing, you adjusted your black jacket hugging your frame and strode in confidently.

You passed by the front entrance without a problem. Whether your presence had been detected and triggered a silent bomb you wouldn’t know until you reached the top. Pressing the button for the elevator, the doors opened for you, allowing you to step in and pressed for the bloodthirsty floor.

Just before the doors shut from the dark lobby, a figure suddenly came into your view. Half of his blonde hair was hidden under a black cap like yours, though you could still see the eyes of your lover as he gave you an assured nod and a half smile before disappearing out of your sight.

Huffing out a breath, you could only hope for the night to go your way while keeping Taeyong alive.

The elevator opened upon reaching the end. Walking out, your steps slowed when noticing a number of bloodied bodies who appeared to be Milan’s guards laying sprawled out on the floor. Pulling out your pistol from your waistband, you cautiously made your move for the office’s entrance as your heart suddenly began thumping at the back of your throat.

On your toes, you pushed the glass door slightly ajar, taking note of the lifeless workspace with a few more guards shot down. This was not the plan you laid out for Yuta. Being on Lord’s side wouldn’t need Yuta to shoot down anyone in his way. He could have unsuspectingly entered Milan’s office and shot him down without a sweat. Shooting the bodies down was in your agenda.

Why did Yuta unnecessarily stir up trouble? And worse, where was Yuta and Milan?

Right when you got inside Milan’s empty cabin, your phone buzzed. Keeping your eyes out for any surprises, you answered.

-

“Yuta, I’m gonna fucking kill you once I find you!” you screamed over the phone as you slammed on the accelerator, speeding the car to catch up to your prey along the empty lanes of the dead streets. “Why didn’t you just do as I said?” you breathed heavily in anger.

Yuta sighed as he dropped to the floor, leaning against the barrier that could have had him catch up to Milan if he hadn’t been barricaded in the dark stairwell. “I’m sorry, Y/N,” he muttered softly, a hand running through his hair in stress. Never once in his life had he slipped up no matter the mission, and for once he did, all because he wanted to keep you away from harm.

Shooting the men down had more attention drawn to him, making it harder to eliminate Milan. Yuta didn’t mind it if it meant less danger for you if you were to come up the building. But when Milan made his escape by taking the stairs, Yuta didn’t think at the end of the stairs was a locked end.

“I’m gonna deal with you later,” you spitted out before cutting the call. Your eyes fixed on a white car far ahead of you. No matter how much you maxed out on the speedometer, you could merely catch up at the speed of a sloth.

You knew Milan was in the car but you hadn’t expected a second body to be in there as well, making them reach out and pull triggers in your way. Luckily, they missed every time but that didn’t stop them from trying to shoot you.

“How the fuck am I gonna get to them?” You cursed your luck for your flopped plan.

A sudden dim light appeared in the rear-view mirror, making your eyes glance at it and wonder who it could be. The closer it sped in your direction, the quicker you realized that it was your saving grace. The familiar sports bike sped past you smoothly, briefly catching sight of Taeyong meeting your eyes from behind his helmet before speeding for your target.

You watched the scene slowly unfold as Taeyong zoomed past Milan’s car, stopping himself at the perfect distance to prepare his gun as Milan approached him. The car tires screeched to a halt, trying to get away from Taeyong’s aim but failed to when Taeyong shot right at them, causing the car to swerve and tumble onto its top, meeting its end. A few seconds later, you were met with the vehicle blowing up into flames, making you swerve your wheels aside to a stop right before you could enter the pits of the flames.

You closed your eyes, feeling the effects of the adrenaline tone down as the chase came to an end. “Y/N!” You heard Taeyong called out for you as he ripped your door open, feeling his warm hand caress your cheek.

Without lifting your eyelids, you asked, “Who else was in that car?”

“Milan’s lawyer,” Taeyong informed. “We killed two birds with a stone.”

-

Your angry stomps resonated the flooring as you stormed into the house. Kun waited for your return and wondered why you were outraged. “Y/N-ssi, what happened?”

Yuta followed right behind you with his head hung low. Glaring directly at the one responsible for the mess, you yelled, “Ask Yuta yourself.”

Your return was audible from every corner of the mansion and slowly Mark, Renjun, Jeno and Johnny filed in. “What’s wrong, Y/N-ssi?” Mark asked.

Turning to Mark, you told him. “Yuta fucked up, that’s what’s wrong.”

“Can you please explain, noona?” Renjun requested gently.

Taking a deep breath in through your nose, you muttered, “We went out to catch someone and Yuta didn’t follow my order.”

“Who were you catching?”

“Milan.”

Gasps of disbelief filled the room as the boys couldn’t believe that you went after Lord’s underboss without them. “Noona, why didn’t you bring us?” Jeno asked with his forehead lined in stress.

Rolling your eyes, you reassured him, “Milan is dead.”

Johnny gave you a confused look. “Then what went wrong?”

Whether Yuta fucked up on killing Milan wasn’t the reason why you were fuming. You were only upset over the one thing that your plan was based on. If it weren’t for that, you would have somehow brought your boys for backup.

Without you replying, your boys got the answer when the very person that you formed your plan on walked into the room, shocking everyone for the second time, except seeing their Taeyong hyung alive right before their eyes since the bombing had more of a shocking effect than the former news of Milan’s death.

“No way,” Renjun breathed out.

“Boss?” Mark questioned his sight.

It really was Taeyong, back in the very place he used to live in. He gazed at his boys softly.

Wide-eyed, Jeno said, “Whoa, you really are alive.”

“But wait…” Johnny’s eyes wavered between Taeyong and Yuta, ultimately landing on you.

Huffing bitterly, you said, “You guessed it.”

Mark’s hands went to his head as it ached. “Hold up. Someone please break it down for me. Wasn’t Yuta supposed to kill Boss?”

You pinched the bridge of your nose. “Don’t you guys get it? I’ve been trying to find the perfect excuse to kill Yuta.”

Yuta only stared down at the floor, hurt that you doubted his standpoint and put him on a test. When you came back to rescue him after killing Milan, that was when he noticed Taeyong by your side. It was clear based on your nonexistent distance between Taeyong that you never had any intention of killing him, and when you swore that you’d come back home with someone, the plan wasn’t with Yuta but with Taeyong.

Yuta lifted his gaze to glance at your lover that he wished to be, the one he could have been working under had it not been for your takeover. His eyes met with Taeyong’s briefly and wondered how lucky Taeyong was to have your heart. His heart broke at the mere thought that he would never become the one you’d need.

After taking a few deep breaths, you calmly skimmed your eyes around the room, the volume tending to be on the quieter end than usual. “Where’s Jungwoo and Haechan?” you asked.

“They’re probably still in their room. I’ll call them down,” Jeno said. He first dialled Jungwoo but oddly there was no response. He then tried calling Haechan and after a few rings, the call was answered. “Haechan, come down fast. Noona is-” Suddenly, Jeno’s face paled and turned to gape at you.

“What is it?” you asked. When he didn’t reply, you marched up to him and snatched his phone from his grasp. “Haechan, where the fuck are you?” But the voice you heard next was not of Haechan’s.

A dark laughter rang through the phone. “Darling, I’m not Haechan.”

It was Lord.

Your blood ran ice cold as you dreaded for what you already knew was going to come. “What did you do to them?” your voice came a little weak than you hoped for. Your hand trembled at your side, fearing for the worst possible outcome to the night.

Losing another loved one.

“Don’t worry, darling. I’ll guarantee their safe return, not sure if in one piece though,” he chuckled at his own joke. “Only for one thing in return. And I’m sure this time you know exactly what I want.” Without a response from you, he ended the call.

For a moment, the room went death silent, as the rest waited for your next word. You only trembled in fear, panicking like crazy, and worried sick that you were close to losing another loved one to Lord. You let out a bloodcurdling scream as you threw Jeno’s phone across the room, causing it to shatter into pieces. His phone was the least of your concerns.

You dropped to the ground, your hands weaved in your hair as you tugged at it hard till pain shoot from the roots of your scalp. “If he takes one more person out of my life, consider me dead!” you screamed.

Taeyong’s heart ached when seeing your distress. He crouched down beside you and rested his hand on your head gently. “Y/N,” he called for you softly.

“This is my promise that I won’t let him touch any more of my people.” You had already lost so many precious souls in your life that until Lord was dead, you felt like every single one left was a ticking time bomb, when or if they were to die next. Death had merely become a routine in your life and you couldn’t care about anything more than to protect those still left alive.

“Don’t worry,” Taeyong reassured. “I’ll make sure they’ll get out safely.”

Your eyes hardened at his words and you glared at him. “What do you mean you will? You’re not going.”

He blinked at you. “But-”

“If you think you’re stepping out this house, then it better be for my dead body. You’re not going to fake your own death again and you’re not walking to your real one.”

The sudden shift in mood between you and Taeyong had the boys tensed as Taeyong solemnly stared into your unwavering eyes.

“What do you plan to do, Y/N-ssi?” Kun spoke up after much thought.

Your teeth clenched at the thought of having to rely on the one perfect for the job, but he was all that you had left. Standing up and leaving Taeyong, you strolled up to Yuta, surprising everyone.

“Yuta, this is my final mission for you. After this, I’ll let you free from our gang if you want. What do you say? Will you save Jungwoo and Haechan?” you asked. After all that had happened, you needed Yuta to be your only hope and saviour in saving your precious boys from hostage. You would have apologized to him after all that you’d treated him, but you couldn’t show your weak side, certainly not as a mafia leader.

The infectious smile that you had first seen during his introductory blinded over his features and he bowed in appreciation. Nothing else matter to him besides being given a chance to finally get onto your good side. “I promise I’ll put my life on the line and make sure they come back safely,” he vowed cheerfully.

The rest of your boys discreetly glimpsed at their former boss. Taeyong quietly observed the way hope brimmed your eyes when Yuta smiled at you.

-

In a dark room, two chairs were tied back-to-back, with two bodies on either of them, limbs and torsos bound tightly to the chairs by a rope. They hadn’t been beaten too badly, only a few punches thrown at their faces and stomach, forming few black bruises to their skin. A man guarded the room, making sure neither of them came free.

Jungwoo scowled at him and threatened, “Wait till my hands come free. I won’t spare anyone for touching my handsome face.”

Haechan scoffed at the older one without seeing his face. “That’s if they ever do come free, you fool.”

“You’re the real fool. This wouldn’t have happened if we didn’t follow noona.”

“Please! I only suggested and you agreed!”

“Shut up!” The man shouted at the two bickering. “One more word and you’ll get another beating.”

That made the two silent for a moment, not because they were afraid of Lord’s minion, but they didn’t want to waste their energy on less important matters like bickering and instead reserve it for more important ones. There was no doubt that you were going to come and save them, and what had them silently worry was how you were to do so.

-

The van rolled to a stop right before the given address. You observed the brightly lit establishment under the night, a massive palace surrounded by well-maintained greenery and fountains, beams of lights integrated along a path guiding to the entrance where guards stood by the grand double doors.

“What the hell is this place?” you muttered.

Kun said, “This might be where he lives.”

A half laugh parted from your mouth. “It’s gonna be pure hell tonight.” To find Jungwoo and Haechan and then finish Lord wasn’t going to be easy in the gigantic building. “How many men do you think he has in there?” you asked.

Kun could only give you a look of uncertainty.

Smacking your red lips together, you fixed your earpiece in. “Well then, looks like it’ll be me and Yuta,” you said while looking at the sniper who was just as ready as you were with his gun loaded.

“Must you really do this alone, noona?” Renjun asked.

You nodded in confidence. “I’m not risking any of you getting killed in there.”

“But what if something happens to you?” Johnny asked.

“He will never kill me.”

“How are you so sure?”

Pushing back the unpleasant memories that threatened to surface, your intuition spoke, “I just know it.”

-

Jeno and Mark sat at the front in a black car, high on anxiety and tension. Against your order of keeping Taeyong inside the mansion, it was either have the boys take him to you or he’d do so himself, and the latter sounded a lot riskier than the boys sitting at home doing absolutely nothing but worry for the unknown.

“What are you planning to do, hyung?” Jeno asked.

Taeyong gazed ahead at the van situated not too far from view. “Do what I told her I’ll always be.”

-

With oozing charisma, you strolled up to the palace. The guards recognized you and without a word, immediately opened the doors for you. Your hidden earpiece was your only connection to Yuta, giving him orders of where to locate himself just outside the confinements of the palace.

As you reached the foyer, six more men appeared. “Before going beyond this point, we need to search you.”

Dramatically scoffing at him, you asked, “Are you seriously gonna search me? You really think I’d have anything on me to hurt Lord?” You’d bravo yourself for keeping your acting skills alive. The only thing on you was a pistol and you weren’t worried if that got taken away because you had something else up your sleeve.

An order rang through the man’s earpiece and it was loud enough to know that he was being yelled at when his face slightly contorted. “I’m sorry, Y/N-ssi. It won’t be necessary on you.” As expected, you thought smugly. “But Lord is asking for Taeyong’s presence.”

“I want to see my boys first. If anything happened to them, then he can forget about Taeyong,” you warned.

He relayed the message to his boss and eventually nodded much to your relief. “Okay, you can follow me.”

Just as he said it, glass shattered from a nearby window as bullets flew to take down all six of the men without any time lapse. You stood calmly in the midst of the bloodied chaos, impressed by the sniper skills. Yuta hopped in from the destructed opening and grinned at you, holding his gun proudly.

-

“So how long are you gonna stay here? Don’t you wanna eat or sleep?” Jungwoo asked the man holding them captive.

“Nah, he’s Spiderman,” Haechan cracked.

“But Spiderman eats and sleeps,” Jungwoo pouted.

“Really? Let’s find out. Hey man, can you google-”

“Shut up!” He roared. “If you open your mouths again, then I’ll tape them up.”

The door slammed open as Yuta barged in, shooting down the man in one bullet. You entered the room, relieved to see Jungwoo and Haechan not too bad of a condition. “Thank goodness you’re okay,” you muttered out of sheer relief.

“Noona!” Haechan dramatically cried out for you and you lightly smacked his head in return. “Ow!”

“How is it that I can hear you from afar?” you told him while taking out your pistol and aiming it at the ropes. Your bullet pierced through the knots, untying your boys free.

“At least it helped you find us,” he retorted.

“And now I need Jungwoo’s help to get the night going,” you said.

“Let me guess, for my specialty, right? I can’t wait to torture that son of a bitch,” Jungwoo smirked evilly.

-

“Look, over there,” Jungwoo pointed at the set of double doors heavily guarded by four men.

“Lord has to be in there,” Haechan commented.

You nodded, agreeing with them. Already having gone across the entire floor, this was the only one where guards took their stance. “Shoot them after I get in,” you only said before stepping forth for the doors to hell.

Marching up to them, the guards eyed you up and down, one muttering something to his earpiece. “Is Lord in there?” You asked with attitude, but the confidence that you exhibited was nowhere near matching with your quickened heart and sweaty palms. When the guard nodded and stepped aside to let you in, horror began to sink in.

It was time.

The doors were opened for you and you took a bit of time to scan the room. It was his study room but not a simple one like yours. This one was huge, an endless ceiling with chandeliers hanging from above, arched walls decorated in white and gold as endless book collections were embedded in them. In short, you felt like you were in some sort of library in heaven.

Cautiously stepping inside, the doors closed behind you and you stilled for a moment as you heard bodies drop to the floor just as you had expected. You were surprised that no one was in the room when you expected for more men to be with Lord. Guess you wouldn’t be having your bullets be covered in blood.

But where was he?

At the far end of the room sat a gigantic desk where backside of a chair faced you. That was when you noticed pecks of hair sticking out of the headrest.

Your heart rate spiked upon locating your enemy. “Lord,” you greeted, filled with venom.

Your nemesis swirled around and there you see him again after a long time. His lips curled up in amusement, making you feel disgusted. “Darling, what a surprise.” Hopping out of his chair, he rounded the table and sauntered up to you, his eyes locked with a dangerous glint as if he were ready to devour his prey. “And that too alone, just the way I like it,” he whispered the last words, causing a chill to run down your spine.

You held your face from being contorted in fear. “It’s been a while. I’ve been waiting for you.” Nights spent waiting to end him would finally be over. You weren’t leaving the palace until every limb, every bone, every organ of his was dismantled.

His hand lifted to trail a finger along your profile, admiring how beautiful you looked just like when he first laid his eyes on you at the club. Goosebumps raised along your skin and you did your best to show an indifferent facade when you badly wanted to rip his arm off. “I still remember the first time I saw you.” He chuckled lightly and added, “Like it always goes. I get what I want.”

It was time. You raised one hand to touch his cheek, making him swoon over your touch, while your other hand went to the back pocket of your pants, pulling out your hidden weapon. “And I still remember that night when you took me to the restaurant,” you spoke softly with velvet laced in your tone. “Let’s have fun like the way you originally wanted that night,” you smirked darkly. Tightening the grasp of the item in your pocket, you sneakily snaked your hand around to his neck and punctured the needle in.

His brows scrunched ever so slightly, feeling the slightest pinch at something at the base of his neck. You stroked his face softly. “What’s wrong, darling?” You asked seductively, and pushed the contents of the syringe into his system. Pulling it out, you stepped away from him and watched the show begin.

His eyes shook as his head spun subtly. “What did you do?”

A menacing laugh escaped from your lips and showed him the empty syringe. “Nothing really, just doing the same thing you did to me that night, except a higher dose.” You threw your weapon away and walked past defenceless him towards his table. Grabbing the chair, you pushed it hard to roll itself to its owner, making his knees buckle and crash his body into it helplessly. A small table sat at the corner of the room and you took your pistol out, shooting at a leg to come free. It was the best you could use as a rod. Strolling back to your prey, you smirked at the accomplishment of getting one step closer to your ultimate goal. Pressing on your earpiece, you said, “Come in.”

The doors burst open and the first person in was the one who went against your order. Taeyong’s chest heaved up and down when locking his sight on you. The rest of your boys rushed in right behind him.

Rolling your eyes, you scoffed at your lover. “Funny how I expected you’d actually come here.”

Haechan dashed to Lord with a rope and tied him up, not that it was really necessary, while Jungwoo handed you a bar of metal rod that he was able to find right before coming in. “This will be better for you,” Jungwoo said. Yuta stayed on the lookout to make sure no surprises popped up during your last deadly operation.

You chucked away the table piece and gripped tightly onto the heavy rod. Lord’s eyes failed to focus on Taeyong as his breathing deepened. Giving Taeyong one last look where he stayed rooted in place and watched the murderous glint in your eyes, you put your all into swinging the rod at Lord’s head.

- ❀ -

[8 years later]

“Omma, look, it’s Y/N-ssi!” A little girl pointed in your direction and beamed happily.

A curl lifted at the corner of your glossy lips as you lounged on the beach chair, bathing in the sun along the shore of a beach. You lifted your dark shades above your head and fixed your attention on her.

The mother bowed to you in greeting and asked, “Is it okay if she can have your signature? We love re-watching your dramas.”

“Of course,” you smiled.

She handed you a blue colouring marker and opened to a blank page in a book. As you signed your signature with care, the little girl asked, “Will you come back on TV?”

Being an officially retired actress, you had no plans in doing so. But that didn’t mean you’d crush her dreams in case you ever did take up a project. Bending close to her from your seat, you said, “Maybe one day.”

Her mother thanked you profusely at your kind gesture and you smiled warmly at their retreating figures, watching the kid happily skip away on the sands.

A huge smile stretched across Taeyong’s lips as he witnessed the interaction when approaching you. “Looks like you’re back to your old self,” he commented when handing you a pina colada.

Taking a sip of the refreshing combination of citrus and tangy sweetness, you smiled at your lover, and husband, before turning to watch Mark, Renjun, Jeno and Haechan play joyfully in the crystal waters with your seven-year old son.

After the operation was over, Yuta declared resignation from his post in your gang, deciding to go freelance again. More than pleased with his performance in the operation, you developed a trust in him and wished to keep him if he wanted, no longer harbouring ill feelings against him. But he was adamant, not telling you the real reason for his departure with a heavy heart whenever he saw you with Taeyong.

Johnny, Kun and Jungwoo played beach volleyball with a new member of your gang named Jaehyun, hitting it off with staying on your good side when excelling at his tasks with his seducing skills. No matter how great of a seducer Jaehyun was with his opponents, he could never win over you with his playful flirts.

Your heart only belonged to one man.

Taeyong laid down in a chair beside yours. His brown hair with blue streaks ruffled with the warm air. His white shirt lazily hugged his frame and you would be able to see the dragon tattoo faintly through the material if he went in the water. “Would you ever go back to your actress life if things were different?” He asked while keeping his eyelids down, feeling the sun kiss his skin.

If things were different and you hadn’t lost everyone you did or become a mafia leader, then there was a chance you would. But the thrill you’d get as a mafia queen was far greater than the thrill you felt as an actress. Keeping up your angelic image to the public was stressful when having people constantly stalk you, make uncomfortable advances for you, and keep up with rules and proper etiquettes. As a mafia queen in the underworld, you could take revenge on anyone using any means without a worry the consequences. “No, I wouldn’t,” you replied truthfully.

Taeyong propped onto his elbows and watched your son laugh his heart out at something Mark said. “What do you think he’ll become when he grows up?”

You shrugged. “He can be whatever he wants. It’ll be interesting if he becomes an actor or mafia boss. We’ll just have to see.”

He smirked. “Or both. Never know, he can be dangerous.”

Chuckling, you said, “I doubt more dangerous than my lips.”

[blueberrypossum]

A Date Down Under (GN Reader x Leo)

OH MY GOSH IT’S BEEN FOREVER SINCE I’VE POSTED!!

If you guys are wondering where I’ve been I write more on A03 with two original fanfics in the making! But, my tumblr account deserves some love too! This fanfic has been siting in my file for a long while and I originally wanted to post it when I was deep in the ROTTMNT fandom (still love it and miss it man). So, I decided to take out my oc in it and make it a reader fanfic so everyone can enjoy!  @bootyyy-shaker9000 ​ I know how much you love Leo so have some of the wonderful boy in blue!!

When Leo asked you if you wanted to celebrate your Friend Anniversary in the Lost City, you couldn’t refuse. 

 The feelings for the turtle though were getting tougher and tougher to maintain. Leo was always the flirt, and you tried to not let him play with your heartstrings, but now a blush would creep around your face whenever he would fire a one-liner or when he would push the physical contact to the extreme. 

You weren't used to so much affection, nor letting the addiction of being touched take over you like a drug. 

But you have seen the way Leo fake flirts with others, and just believed that he was just doing the same thing to you, because you were just friends, right? 

You were brushing your comb through your hair when your phone started to vibrate on your desk. You brought it up to your ear as you got comfortable in your seat.

“Hello?”

“Knock knock.”

“Who’s there?”

There were a few knocks on your bedroom window.

“Me.”

You giggled and walked over to the window and pulled back the blinds to see the one and only Leonardo Hamato, a sly grin on his face as he hung up on the phone. You placed your phone into your pocket and unlocked the window to reveal yourself to him. 

The blue bandana turtle looked a little taken aback as he took in the sight of his best friend. With the season turning colder, you wore something that suited the chilly wind yet sunny season, the cloth clinging to you gently. What caught him off guard the most was the dazzling smile you presented to him, the pure excitement of seeing him causing his bandana to feel tight around his head. 

Leo almost lost his balance as he hopped into your room, sweat growing on him as he tried to find anything else to look at other than you.

“Hey, how's your fever?” He asked, his voice drowned with no confidence, his heart still pounding as he finally glanced over. 

You were picking up your bag and you frowned at the question.

“Hum? What fever?” 

“Oh, yeah, you just look hot to me,” he replied, pressing a confident smile on his lips as he hoped that you didn’t catch him almost slipping up. 

Your cheeks went pink and you playfully slapped his arm.

“Oh hush up and let’s go, we’re burning daylight.”

“That’s not the only thing that’s burning.”

“Oh my gosh, get going, Red Kamon.”

The tall turtle chuckled and pulled out his sword, swiping it around the room until a portal was created. Leo moved to the side and bowed his head towards you. 

“After you,” he purred and you rolled your eyes at him and took a step into the portal and was led right at the center of the Hidden City. The colorful and mysterious city was weird to say the least, nothing but weird creations and magic lingered in the air as yokai walked past you. Leo stepped through the portal and was at your side as you both walked over to the city map. 

Leo used your shoulder as a rest while you gazed over at the map.

“Where do you want to go, shorty?” He asked as your eyes scanned the different areas and pointed towards the Witch Town.

Your mind seemed clouded from the close contact and you pointed to the spa.

“What about here? Sounds interesting.”

“Can’t do. My idiot and less attractive twin got us turtles banned there,” Leo commented and soon his arm snaked around your neck and was completely over your shoulders, bringing you close enough that you could feel his breath over your cheek. 

“What about here?”

“Nope. They banned me there.”

“How did you get banned from a spa?”

“My dashing good looks were just too much for them.”

You let out a gust of air and knew the real reason, Donnie told you the whole funny scenario of Leo needing hair to get into the spa, totally backfired and threw him in jail. 

“What places are you not banned from, blue?” You asked, turning over to him with your arms crossed. 

He gave you his signature smile and leaned down till you were face to face, his beak just a few inches from your nose. 

“Here, just those two places. Your heart? Never.”

“Then what about the Pirate Bazaar?” You mumbled, your heart almost leaping out of your chest as Leo’s eyes widened with excitement.

“Ohhh, I’ve been there! But only for a little bit, let’s go!” He squealed and took your hand and led you through the crowd of animals and other subjects of yokai. His three-fingered hand was cold against your warm one, and you knew Leo and his brothers like closeness to you and April since you were the only warm-blooded creatures; Splinter was too but hugs were hard to get from him. Still, the hand holding made others look over and gush at you two, as if you were a couple. 

If only.

He didn’t let go as he took you into lesser crowds, bringing you closer till your arms were touching. You then realized he wasn’t wearing an outfit, but then remembered most of the yokai’s were clothesless as well. His muscles bounced as he walked and you had to do everything to not wrap your fingers around the growing muscle. 

STOP STOP STOP THINKING LIKE THIS! HE DOESN’T LIKE YOU LIKE THAT!

His thumb started to brush against yours as he turned to you and you swore you saw a red dash against his cheeks, and it wasn’t his stripes.

“You’ve been friends with me for a whole year! Please, do tell how great it must’ve been to be called my best friend,” he said slyly, wiggling his non-existent eyebrows, causing you to laugh. The joyous melody made Leo weak in the knees.

“You mean, me always having to save your shell from dangerous bad guys, having to endure all your jokes, and then the constant-CONSTANT- marathons of Jipiter Jim and Lou Jitsu to the point all I could do was speak quotes from the movies.”

“Oh yeah, may I remind you that you would text me excited about every movie date? Didn’t someone make their signature hot chocolate just for me when I showed this specific someone their now favorite movie? Ring any bells?” He replied back.

“Pffts, you know what? Your one-liners stink.”

The sword yielding turtle let out a gasp and grasped where his heart would be over his plaston as if he had been shot as he looked down at you. 

“My one-liners stink like Raph’s victory stink!”

You laughed and took back his hand and Leo felt his heart flew as your warm hand was gripping onto his cold one. You took the lead and finally made it to the entrance of the pirate grounds. There were booths of stuff that were related to the pirate theme of the area and some were just random selections of things to sell. The smell of seafood and other fried foods drifted into your nose and you led Leo to the entrance. 

After getting Lost City Cash at a money machine, you both took a selfie at the front entrance, Leo bringing you close and him having to lean down due to your height.  

There was a goblin looking woman in the booth at the entrance and the woman took your money and gave each of you a bracelet to get on rides and such. 

“For an extra 20 dollars, you can have a custom pirate outfit that you can switch on and off with ease,” she explained and you and Leo shared the same look, giving the worker a simple nod. She pointed to where single bathrooms were after she got the money.

“Last one there is a rotten turtle egg!”You challenged out as you raced over to the bathroom stalls, the mutant turtle schoffing and charging after you.

With a little bit of magic, you were able to think up your very own pirate outfit with a second band around your wrist so that you could switch it off and on with ease. Leo picked the same outfit he had when he first came to the pirate utopia with Hueso, but didn’t pick an eyepatch this time since he didn’t want to trip in front of you. 

You quickly raced out of the changing room after saying thank you to the worker who helped you and looked around, your eyes trying to find the mutant turtle in the crowd. You spotted the long strands of his bandana and felt yourself shudder at how good he looked in a pirate outfit, how the white shirt clung to him and how he had his sword hung against his side instead of over his back. You swallowed the saliva that was swimming in your mouth and quickly dashed over to him, clearing your throat before you spoke in the worst pirate accent. 

“My, my, isn’t ye the best booty I’ve ever seen in these vast oceans!”

The red slider turtle quickly turned around but you moved out in front of him.

“Aye, wanna shiver me timbers?” You laughed, throwing another one-liner at him and he turned, his eyes going wide as he almost told you that if you were a pirate, you would be the most beautiful treasure that no man or woman could handle or capture. If you were a pirate he could definitely walk the plank. 

“Those jokes are so lame, that they need a peg leg,” he replied, almost hating himself fully for using one of Huesos jokes instead of his own. But you flashed him a smile anyway and motioned him to follow as you made your way through the crowd. 

The teenage turtle felt his heart leap after you and gave chase as you made it to the center of the pirate theme park. 

Once in the middle, you pulled out the map the woman at the booth gave you and started to read over the activities that you could do. 

Leo leaned down close, still a little out of breath, but his confidence had awoken him as he said: “Ya certainly put a shiver in my timber!” he said in a deep pirate accent. You booped his beak away from your face and he blew a raspberry on the index finger.

“So, there is a treasure adventure we can go on, a booth section of stuff to buy, a pirate show of a reenactment of pirate history-Oh! They have timed dances throughout the area! And you can join in!” 

“Are you going to join in?”

“Maybe. I could finally dance with someone who doesn’t only do fortnite dances and dabs.”

“Hey, my moves are almost like a work of a pirate ship.”

“Old and needs remodeling?”

“What?! No! Unique and cool.”

You rolled your eyes and wrapped your arm around Leo’s and led him to the show since it was the closest. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You stood on the pier as ships and flying creatures dashed by, the glowing lights of the underworld turning into a creamy orange to signify that the day was coming to an end. You leaned your arms over the railing as you scrolled through the photos that had been taken throughout the day. You couldn’t help but smile at seeing your goofy pictures and would scroll past the ones you took specifically of Leo without him knowing. 

Speaking of the turtle, he leaned in close to your shoulder as he noticed that your attention was not on him.

“Whatcha lookin at?” He asked, his head slowly getting closer. You felt your body grow warm and quickly turned your phone. 

“Bruh,” you giggled and he gave a quiet chuckle and tried to snatch the phone. 

“If you’re looking at something, then as your best friend I have a right to see.”

“Fine, hang on.”

You quickly saved the single photos of him into a secret file and moved the phone between them, his head still on your shoulder as he scrolled through the photos, both of you laughing at the one where you fought the pirates and failed. 

“What about you? I know you took photos of today for your social,” you commented as you placed your phone into your bag. 

Leo took out his phone and hid it out of sight since his home screen was a picture of them together at an abandoned skatepark and he had you in a piggyback ride and he just had to capture the moment. He handed his phone without thinking and started to go through your bag due to boredom.

You scrolled through the photos until you stopped at a specific one. You didn’t remember him telling you to pose for this photo; it was when you had stopped to eat dinner and you happened to watch one of the kids getting a fake pirate hook from a vendor. Your head was supported by your hand as a breeze caused your hair to ripple around your face in an alluring photo. A blush rushes to your face as if you had been hit and soon you started to scroll faster and found more photos of just you; of you waiting in line, in your pirate outfit, several were taken of you during the pirate treasure hunting, when you grabbed a candle from one of the booths in excitement, he even got a cliche photo of you holding his hand while you led him through the crowd. 

You felt your heart stop in your ribcage and looked over at the ninja turtle, who was still looking through your bag as if he was hunting for treasure. You didn’t want to snoop, but you couldn’t help but exit out of his camera roll and looked through his folders on the right side; there was a folder for comic books, shopping, epic moments, even a puns list, then found it at the bottom. It was labeled with a first letter of your name and a heart, and with twitching fingers, you opened it. It wasn’t many photos but enough to where you almost dropped his phone into the water below. There were pictures of you whenever you both hung out, and some he probably got from your social. 

Holy Hot Soup, he liked you.  

“Okay, now you really look like you have a fever,” Leo commented as he reached for his phone, causing you to swallow and quickly turned off the device and handed it back to him.

“But don’t worry, Doctor Neon Leon will help you get all better,” he said in a baby voice and wrapped his arm around you and brought you close. 

“Maybe you need some Vitamin ME,” he whispered and you laughed at yet another ridiculous one-liner made by him. He grinned at the sight of you laughing and rested himself against your side, taking in your scent and warmth. 

“Maybe I do, where do I get my prescription Aka Kamon?” You asked slyly, a shit eating grin on your face as Leo blushed. Whenever you could, you would fire back a one-liner and was overjoyed to see him be the one to get flustered and a stuttering mess. 

“ Oh, um, well,” he stuttered and mentally kicked himself as he couldn’t think of something to say back and then a question he always wanted an answer to.

“Are you ever going to tell me what those words mean?” He asked. 

“Are you ever going to open a book and find out for yourself.”

“Ha! Jokes on you, I don’t know how to read. And also, there are phones now, boomers.”

“Then look it up.”

“JuSt GiVe Me A hInT.”

You released a sigh and gave him a look while he returned to you his huge puppy dog eyes look and placed his hands together as his bottom lip wobbled as if he was trying to get out of trouble. 

“Finnnne, but only because it’s our best friend’s day.”

You poked the red stripe against his face and then pointed upward, a smirk growing on your face as he gave a confused one.

“WHAT KIND OF HINT IS THAT??”

“A pretty good one in my opinion.”

The red slider turtle let out a large groan as he crossed his arms, his face growing tight as he tried to think of what the hint meant. 

“Are you just calling me stripes but in Japanese?” He said with a groan. 

“Leo you insult me, it would be kind of stupid to call you stripes in both English and Japanese.”

He mimicked your talking right as you finished and he received an eye roll as he continued on thinking.

 So, it wasn’t the stripes, maybe the color? Or the shape?

“Man, this is hurting my brain, this best friend day sucks.” He said as he stuck his tongue out at you.

“Okay, okay. The two words are a color and a shape. Is that better?”

“Yes. Yes it is.”

You continued to watch as Leo tried to put the pieces together and you wished you could get this on video, but it would be too obvious, so instead you painted it into your mind. 

“So, the color is totally red, but the shape I’m lost at. Why did you point at the sky? Is that a clue? Why did you make this so difficult?”

“Because I’m a difficult person.”

“I do like a challenge.”

“One more hint, it’s the shape of something in the sky.”

Leo looked up at the fake Lost City sky and squinted as the fake sun started to set and the moon would start to rise. 

“Red Moon?”

“Close. It’s Red Crest.”

The blue bandana turtle searched the horizon for an answer for why you called him that as you looked away due to embarrassment. 

“Why?” He simply asked as he looked over; he could always tell when you were nervous, your eyes would always dart around and your left foot would start to shake. You rose to a tallen stance though and looked over at his hands.

“I just find your marks...alluring. In Japanese culture, the red moon is respected due to its power. I just thought you deserved to have a nickname that represented you.”

Leo felt his face go completely red that it could put Raph’s mask to so much shame that it would go bland. All this time he thought you were just calling him something insulting in Japanese, but it was a nickname that you made up for him. Not like Raph’s, Donnie’s, Mikey’s or April’s, it was one you made up for him and only him. 

“Stop looking at me before I throw you off this dock so I can live the rest of my life without this embarrassment,” you laughed nervously as your fingers combed through your hair and let out a shaky breath. 

Leo started to get his little shakes as he let out a confused laugh. 

“All this time I thought you were calling me a stupid turtle or somethin in Japanese, whoa oh boy was I wrong.”

You both looked away from each other and the atmosphere became heavy. 

Maybe I shouldn’t have said that, I still don’t know, you thought, but then you felt his finger poke your elbow and looked over at him, and the soft expression on his face almost made you melt.

“But how can I stop looking at you?”

Your breathing immediately hitched.

“Are you blushing? It’s a good feeling to know that I do it.”

You could only cover your face as you leaned against the railing on your elbows and looked between your fingers at him. You hated being so flustered up, but with Leo dripping with confidence, it made you want to curl into a muttering mess. 

Leo watched you with amusement and went to touch you, but then fell back. He remembered how he started the physical touch between you two, holding your hand, always leaning on you, every movie night you would be his cushion. But you two couldn’t kiss, couldn’t cudde too close, he couldn’t tell you he loved you more than just a best friend.  

 He hated how the day went by so fast and now he wanted to do what he has wanted to do for months. But he couldn’t work up the courage, he had a ton of one-liners to ask you out, to ask if you returned the feelings, even though he was mutant turtle that lived in the sewer and fought enemies that could destroy the whole world and wholly Ōdachi he can’t ask you to be a part of that life. 

But, the way you would smile at him and how you always gave him credit for the growth into someone you wanted to be. How you saw something in him that he didn’t even see, and he wanted to keep being whatever you saw. 

He just wanted you.

So, he worked up the courage, tried to make the sweat stop rolling down his body, and looked at person he had fallen for

“Y/N.” 

You tensed up, you had never heard Leo sound so serious in his life. 

“Yeah?” 

“With this being.....I mean if I’m wrong. Would you consider this a date-date?” He spilled out, and he wanted to climb into his shell like Mikey and never come out. He let out a gust of air and didn’t look over at you, his fingers messing within each other. It was silent between you, the city life buzzing around them as yokai’s came and went. You wanted to scream out in joy and say yes a hundred times, but you also had to be careful, along with if Leo was being a bubbly mess, you wanted to take advantage of it as long as you could. 

Spotting a red and blue flower with a bright yellow center growing on the side of the deck, you wrapped your fingers around it and pulled it from its roots. To Leo’s surprise, you pushed your way under his arm until it was back over your shoulders. The blush on his face was noticeable and with being against his chest you noticed his uneven breaths. 

“I do. And I would like more of them, if you want to.” You answered and handed him the flower. He shakenly took the flower in his hand and his confidence came crashing back to him, knowing that the feeling was mutual. As quickly as you gave him the flower he leaned over and placed the flower over your ear. Your eyes widened with surprise and quickly averted them away, a nervous but sweet chuckle escaping your lips. But the Red-eared slider never averted his gaze away from you. 

“I would like that too,” he answered back. 

You both stood there for a while, your head curled into Leo’s chest as his own head rested on yours. You were used to being close, but this was different, this filled you up with knowing and it made the physical connection much more warmer and scarier. Little lights started to flicker around as the city started to get dark, even with no sun or moon. Leo brought you closer and buried his face into your hair, a long sigh escaping his lips in content, his mind slowing down for once and just taking in this moment.

 But the moment went quicker than expected as a low yawn escaped your mouth and the red slider turtle remembered that it was getting late. 

“Alright, sleepy head, I think it’s time to raise anchor and set sail for home,” he joked as he lifted himself off of you and then held out his hand. With a roll of your eyes, you gladly took it and let him lead you back to the entrance of the Pirate Bazaar. He could just use his sword, but he wanted to juice out every moment with you.

The hand hold was different in some way, you gripped his hand tighter and when he came to a stop you would use your other hand to lightly touch his biccup before continuing on. 

You gave the booth teller their costume bracelets back and walked a few feet ahead before Leo pulled out his sword and created a portal. 

He once again bowed his head as he moved to the side. 

“After you.”

Through tired eyes she gave him a smirk as she was halfway through the portal. 

“Thank you.” 

He followed you through the portal and took the step onto your apartment’s fire escape, the flashing lights of New York City spilling over your side as you opened your bedroom window;  throwing your bag inside before turning to Leo. You both turned to each other and then quickly averted eye-contact with each other. 

“I had a lot of fun today, Leo. Thanks for being a good fri-” you stopped yourself since you didn’t know if you two were still just friends, or more.

He let out a laugh and rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Yeah, chief, it was,” Leo said  and then let out a groan at the terrible execution.

 You knew that you had to make the first move now or else you both would accidentally place yourselves into the “friend zone”.

 “Leo, can you bend down a little bit?”

“Why? Tired of being the only short one?”

“You can say that.”

He bent down till he was on your level, a smug smile on his lips. You let out your form of a chuckle as you curved your fingers under his chin. The teenage turtle instantly felt weak in the knees and thought that his legs would give out from under him and became a stuttering mess as you both made eye-contact. 

“Um, haha, is it hot or did you know that, uhh,” he mumbled as you tilted his head to the side and placed a small kiss against his red stripe, instantly making his whole body, for once in his life, burning. 

Your lips were soft against his skin and he stood there as you leaned away and climbed back into your room. 

“Goodnight, Leo,”you mumbled, your hands shaking against the window. 

“N-night.”

You closed the window and walked away while Leo stood there, his mind racing a hundred miles an hour. He got a kiss from you, from you. He never felt so much adrenaline rush through his body and all he wanted to do was go back in time so he could’ve moved his lips over. 

He took a step towards the window and then took that step back. What should he do? What could he do? Were you both dating now? Or were you two at the very edge of the line of a relationship?

He wanted to call his brothers or April for advice, especially since she would slap some sense into him. His shakes were coming back.

He let out a grunt and rubbed his eyes as he tried to decide what to do. He looked back at the window and saw that you had turned on your lights. He walked up to the window and knocked.

You had just gotten out of the bathroom when you heard the light tap against your window and your heart started to race faster than it already was. You were already shaken up by having enough courage to kiss him but if that was him then what if he didn’t want the kiss?

The knock came again and you took a few deep breaths before you moved the curtain aside and there he was, his face all flustered up as he gave a small wave as she opened the window. 

“Yes?” You questioned as you leaned your hands over the window seal. You hoped that the silky night of the sky hid your flustered face.

“I honestly didn’t think this far ahead,” he spilled out as he let out a nervous laugh as he leaned against the window. 

You looked up at him and Leo blinked several times in wonderment at the startled expression that crossed your face. Leo took a deep breath and gave you his signature shit-eating grin.

“Knock knock.”

“Wow, you’re doing jokes in the same place now are ya?”

“Just do the joke.”

You giggled and fluttered your eyes mockingly at him.

“Can I who?”

“Who’s there?

“Can I?”

“Can I...Can I kiss you?”

Even though it was a terrible joke, you felt like you could throw up all of your guts for how fast your heart rate was. Kissing him on the cheek was a challenge but at least you didn’t have to worry about his lips against yours. Do turtles have lips? Or beaks?

The word yes slipped out before you had a second thought. 

Before you knew it, Leo’s hands were slipping into your own, the tip of your fingers shaking but Leo reinsured you with a stroke of his thumb  You looked up at him and was taken aback at how handsome he was, how his stripes glowed in the moonlight and his blue bandana flew behind him as he leaned down. 

Oh you were glad he didn’t have his lips puckered or drool hanging out of his mouth like in the cartoons. 

Swallowing any other signs of panic that were trying to build in your body as you leaned in. 

The city of New York continued on around you both as the kiss ended; it was soft and sweet, not a full one, but it left both of you speechless. You felt as if your stomach was falling apart and Leo thought he could slip off the stairway. He was still holding your hands before you both departed, but with your free hands, you grabbed his face and brought him in once again. The red slider turtle’s eyes went wide as moons as this kiss much more, more than he could ever dream of. 

He wrapped his arms around your waist and slightly lifted you up, burying his face into yours under the moonlight. He tangled himself around you as your hands wrapped around his neck and Leo felt his stomach flip at the actions. Your shirt was warm against his chest and he tried to focus in on that instead of the worry of messing this up. He leaned more down as his hand slipped into the back of your neck. Due to the lack of experience, the kiss was sloppy and messy and anxiety swam between the connection between the two of you. 

But it was a tender memory of a kiss between the two of you, to remember as your first. 

You both finally separated, your chest heaving as you tried to get your feelings under control. His arms were still wrapped around you and your hands had slipped down onto his plaston, the hard material rising and falling under your fingers. Leo felt himself lean back, the shock setting in that he just had his first kiss and it was that deep and romantic and that….

The teen turtle felt his shell bump against the railing and you quickly latched onto him to stop him from falling, a horse laugh coming out of your mouth. 

“Guess you can say that you’re falling for me?” You asked, Leo knew now that he had to have a fever for how hot his face felt. He let out a few breathless laughs as he tried to calm himself down, longing and fear still lingering in his heart. 

All he could do was pull you into a hug and whisper out, “I just want to stay here and kiss and hold you and Y/N I can't feel my heart.”

He buried himself into your neck as he once again slightly picked you up, hoping that your warm body would calm him down, but the organ in his chest raced on as you hugged him back, your arms barely going around his shell. 

“Leo, will you be my boyfriend?”

My boyfriend. My boyfriend. My boyfriend. My boyfriend.

The words rang in his head like chimes as he slightly pulled away to look at her, the harsh blush on her face giving him an ego boost as he grinned at her. 

“Being called a boyfriend, eh? Neon Leon already has so many cool names, but boyfriend is probably the best name to be called, especially if it’s only you saying it.”

“Probably? I guess I should just give the boyfriend title to someone else, then.”

“What?! No, no, no. I already called it, I’m your boyfriend capiche? Now come here.” He pulled you into a tight hug and gave you a little spin, a laugh escaping your throat as you held on.

“Leo! We can fall, and my back cannot handle cement like yours!” 

[bakuhoes-dumbass]

Aberration - Chapter 3

MHA!Various x Fem!Reader

Thriller/Horror/Drama

Criminal!AU

Words: 2.8k

A/N: Third chap, here we go! It’ll start picking up soon. I know there isn’t much ‘horror’ rn, but it will get there, I promise. Also, I’m sorry Tamaki’s part is a bit longer than Hawks. I just adore Tamaki so much and he deserves the world and lots of hugs and kithes.

Warnings: Yandere Themes, Mentions of murder, blood, felonies, bullying, swearing. More to come.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of MHA, just this story. In no way does this reflect the characters, writers or VAs of the show/manga. MINORS DNI.

~~~

Aberration Masterlist

~~~

"Good afternoon Mr. Keigo, my name is Y/N and I'll-" You look up from your notes to see a half naked man with blonde hair and bright red bird wings lounging on his bed. Your jaw drops and you hold your clipboard up in front of your suddenly heated face.

Keigo looks over to you with his brows raised. "Well well, looks like we've got ourselves a new baby bird. How…" The handsome man's lips turn up into a cocky smirk.

"...interesting."

You peek over your clipboard to see his cocky smirk and hide your eyes again. "Keigo, would you please put on a shirt?"

He chuckles and wiggles his eyebrows. "What, too embarrassed to look at me, baby bird? I'll tell you what. You tell me who you are, and if you're single, and I'll cover myself."

"My name is Y/N. I'm the newest scientist in this facility, here to observe you, hoping it helps to find a cure. And there is no need for you to know my relationship status."

"Ah, ah, ah. If you don't tell me, you'll have to do this interview while gazing at my gorgeous body." You hear the cockiness in his voice.

"I swear to fu- fine, yes I'm currently happily single. Now, please put your shirt on." You mumble under your breath, "this is so inappropriate."

After a minute of rustling, Keigo leans back onto his bed. "Okay, my single baby bird. I'm all covered up for you."

You lower your clipboard just below your eyes to make sure, seeing the smirking bird man lounging on his bed with a shirt on. You finally lower your clipboard all the way before giving a curt nod. Making your way to the desk chair, you smile at the man.

"Thank you, Keigo. As I said before, my name is Y/N and I'm here to get to know you."

He snickers, "well, I'm here to answer any questions you have for me, baby bird. Fire away."

You sigh and open your notebook. "Must you call me such a name?"

"Awe, do you not like when I call you that?"

Sighing once more, you decide to just move on. You know you'll end up going in circles. "Please state your full name, age and date of birth for me."

"My name is Keigo Takami. I'm 28 years old. My birthday is December 28th." He paused to let you write that down before opening his mouth again. "Did you need my star sign and my relationship status? Well, I'm a Capricorn and I am definitely sin-"

"Nope, that's enough." You cut him off before he could ramble on even more. "Now, can you tell me what your quirk is exactly?"

Keigo blinks before turning around, the chains on his ankles clanking against the bed frame. Your eyes light up being able to actually see the giant, beautiful red bird wings coming from his back. You frowned slightly noticing they were pinned down, preventing him from being able to use them.

"Does that hurt? Having them pinned like that?" You tilt your head eyes following the edges of each feather.

Keigo lets out a quiet chuckle, eyeing you from over his shoulder. "A little. But nothing I can't handle. Why, is my baby bird worried about little ole me?"

Your frown turns into a glare and you clear your throat. "So, what exactly can you do with these wings of yours?"

Keigo's mouth twitches into a smirk as he turns back around to face you. "Well, I can fly. And I can also disconnect each feather from my wings and use them individually."

You nod, not wanting to show how impressed you were, knowing he'd make a crack at it. You finish writing down that information before asking your next question. "Now, can you tell me why you are here?"

"Getting down to the nitty-gritty, I see. Well, I was arrested and charged with Drug Trafficking, Forgery and Assault." You look at him, motioning him to continue. He shrugs. "There isn't much else to it. I'm a mafia leader. This shit happens on a daily basis, for years. Just so happened that I eventually got caught, on account of a leak in my group. Fortunately, for me, I use other people to do the killing for me. So that means they couldn't get me with murder." He cocks his head. "Unfortunately, though, trafficking and forgery are also felonies, so. That's why I'm here."

"So you spent your life moving copious amounts of drugs, forging money and assaulting clients who did you wrong?"

Keigo thinks about your words for a moment and nods. "Essentially, yes."

"Alright then." You stand up and bow your head to the mafia leader who was watching you carefully. "I will take my leave, as I have one more inmate to see before the end of my shift." You head towards the door, but pause for a moment. "Oh, and Keigo?" You turn your head to look at him over your shoulder. "Your wings are beautiful."

Keigo's eyes widen and his jaw drops slightly, watching you walk out that door. His face turns bright red after processing your words. He mutters under his breath, "oh, baby bird…"

After shutting the door behind you, you breathe out. Aizawa looks up from his phone. "How'd it go?"

You raise a brow, "what, you weren't watching me through the security cameras like before?"

"Oh, I was," he deadpanned. "But, visually, it didn't look as compromising as the last two visits. The cameras don't pick up audio."

"Well, besides the lack of clothing in the beginning and the incessant flirting, I was pleasantly surprised."

Aizawa looked at his watch. "Now, I think we have time for one more before we have to turn in paperwork and unchain the more dangerous inmates from their beds to give them some room to stretch out." Aizawa flips through the profiles before stopping on one. "How about Amajiki?"

You turn to his profile and scan the words in front of you. "A cannibal, huh. Well that's not something you see every day."

"I think he'd be good to end the day with. Despite him being, well, a cannibal, he's actually extremely reserved and quite timid. I don't think he'd try to hurt you or get close to you. He suffers from borderline personality disorder, as you see." Aizawa looks up from his notes and eyes you. "However, he is a level 10. He may come across as innocent and somewhat angelic, but remember, he is one of the most dangerous criminals in this facility. He has multiple murders under his belt. So just keep that in mind."

You nod your head, slightly bouncing with excitement. This one sounds quite interesting to you. You've never met a cannibal before and this one has a quirk that sounds intriguing. Aizawa sighs before turning away from Hawk's door and heading further down the long hallway. He stops in front of a heavy door and scans you in.

Once you step inside the white room, you furrow your brows, not really noticing anyone. That's when you hear a small whimper and a few muffled, stuttered words coming from the floor next to the bed.

"W-Who are you?"

You lean to the side to see an indigo-haired figure huddled against the wall between the desk and the bed. You notice his body is trembling, only his eyes visible through his bangs, his arms covering the rest of his face. Head tilted, you squat down from a distance and smile.

"Hi there, Amajiki. My name is Y/N. I'm the newest scientist at this facility. I'm here to talk to you and get to know you to help further our findings for a cure. I'd like to be friends, if that's possible." You reply gently. You can tell he's scared out of his mind.

He raises his head up, giving you a full view of his…

Muzzle?

"F-friends?"

Your eyes widen slightly. The bottom half of Amajiki's face, from his nose to under his chin, is completely covered by a silver muzzle. It's strapped around his head and locked in place by a padlock. Your eyes travel down to see his wrists chained together with quirk cancelling cuffs and, as you expected, both of his ankles are chained to the heavy duty bed frame.

"They have you muzzled like that?" You stare in disbelief, slightly angered at the treatment. You understand that he's a known cannibal, but to strap that heavy muzzle around his head on top of chains already weighing him down.

Amajiki nods shyly, "y-yeah. I guess it's because of the whole e-eating people… thing."

You sit yourself down on the floor across from him, your notes in your lap. "Is it uncomfortable?" He nods slowly, his eyes avoiding yours. You give him a small smile. "I'm sorry."

His eyes shoot to yours, confusion flashing through them. "Why are you sorry?"

"It...seems like a lot of you are possibly being mistreated here. I've noticed a few things here and there."

Amajiki's brows furrow. "And why should you care? W-We're criminals."

"True. However, this facility isn't supposed to be judge, jury and executioner. You're entitled to a fair trial, just like everyone else. That includes not being mistreated." Your smile never leaves your face as you look the man in the eyes. "I am not only here to research a cure, but make sure in doing so, it won't harm any of you. It'll be humane, I promise." Amajiki just stares at you with an unreadable expression. You sigh and click your pen. "Do you mind if I ask you some questions, Amajiki?" He shakes his head but stays quiet.

"Can you please state your full name, age and date of birth?"

"U-um. Tamaki Amajiki, 25, March 4th."

"Thank you. And what is your quirk?"

Amajiki hugs his knees tighter. "I-It's called Manifestation. Essentially, whatever I eat and digest, I can manifest as a body part."

Your leg bounces in excitement. "So, if you were to eat, let's say, Takoyaki, you can turn your hand into tentacles?" He nods his head. Your eyes light up. "That is incredible, Amajiki. That's such a powerful quirk!"

Amajiki's eyes widened, a blush spreading across his cheeks that were partially hidden under his muzzle. This is the first time he's ever been thankful to have this thing attached to his face. "U-um, t-thanks."

You let out a soft giggle and continue writing in your notes. "Here's a little bit more of a difficult question, Amajiki. Can you please tell me why you are incarcerated in this facility?"

Amajiki stays quiet, not looking at you. You notice his hesitation. You think for a moment before looking around the room. Amajiki sneaks a glance at you, watching you look around the room. His brows furrow. "W-What are you…"

You finally spot the locations of the camera and move your body so your back was facing it. Ignoring his question, you place your pen down directly in front of you so only Amajiki can see. You furrow your brows in concentration and stick your tongue out as you hover your hand over your pen. To Amajiki's utter shock, the pen starts floating in the air.

"Y-You have a quirk?!"

You nod your head and release the pen from your power. "Yeah, I do. It's nothing fancy like yours, but it is a mutation, nonetheless. Sometimes it's easier to talk to someone who understands more of your situation than you might think. So that's why I wanted to show you." You smile at the man, who is looking at you with pure adoration. "Please, keep this to yourself. I don't know what Aizawa would do if he found out about it." 

"I-I won't tell anyone, I promise."

You giggle and sit back down in your original spot. "Thank you. Now, can you please tell me why you're in this facility?"

He nods his head, still slightly dazed about this new-found information. "I was charged with multiple counts of 1st degree murder a-and…" his voice drops to a whisper, "s-serial cannibalism."

You couldn't help your interest in the subject and started rambling. "Would you be so kind as to explain how this came about? Did you grow up into a family of cannibals or-"

"NO!" He lashes out, causing you to flinch slightly. He winces as your reaction, not intending to scare you. "N-no. Nothing like that. It happened… against my will, so to say?" Amajiki sighs and rests his chin on his arms, not meeting your eyes. "I was one of the only kids in my small town to have been born with a mutation. My parents tried to hide it, tried to hide me. I don't know if it was from fear of people hurting me or fear of everyone judging them for having me."

He blinks a few times before continuing. "The town I lived in was small, a bad side to say the least. Lots of low-lifes and gangs running around. Well, long story short, someone found out about me and what my quirk was. They kidnapped me and…" He trails off. Suddenly, his eyes snapped to yours, an uncomfortable and intense feeling overwhelming you. "They forced me to eat another person, someone with a quirk. They wanted to see if I could turn their power into my own."

He cocks his head and lets out a cackle, still making eye contact with you. "Can you believe that?! It actually worked! So what did they do? They forced me to eat ANOTHER quirk user. They wanted to turn me into an ultimate weapon." Amajiki lets out a strange noise, sounding like a mixture between a guttural sob and a laugh. "Well, the joke was on them in the end. I ended up killing and eating them in the end and escaping. But after that point, something mutated further in my quirk. I couldn't stop craving human flesh." He shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath. "A-And that's why I'm here now."

Your eyes are wide and your breath is heavy. Something inside you feels a sense of panic, looking at the clearly broken man in front of you. It's so much information to take in, you stay quiet for awhile, your body on high alert. Amajiki notices how quiet you are and he opens his eyes. He notices a terrified look on your face and internally panics.

"W-Wait, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I-I'm not going to hurt you." He finally moves out from his huddled form and kneels instead, the sound of chains clinking together snapping you out of it. "I-I would n-never hurt you." He whispers the last part, hoping you wouldn't hear it.

You clear your throat after taking a few deep breaths. "T-Thank you for telling me this, Amajiki. It was really brave of you to relive those experiences." You look at him and notice the fear and concern in his face. Giving him a small smile, you close your notebook. "I'm fine, I promise." You stand up on shaky legs and bow your head. "I need to get going."

Amajiki quickly stands up, making you slightly flinch again, which doesn't go unnoticed by him. "Y-You're leaving already? Will I get to see you again?"

"You will. I'm an employee here now, so I'll be the one to check up on all the inmates and work on everyone's individual sessions." You turn your back and walk to the door. "I'll see you later, Amajiki."

The indigo-haired man watches you walk through his door, longing written across his face. The only thing running through his mind are thoughts of the pretty telekinesis that made his heart race.

Once out the door, Aizawa meets you in the hallway. "How'd it go with the man-eater?"

You scowl at the doctor. "Why do you say things like that? He has a name."

"He's a criminal, Y/N. They're all criminals. Shouldn't matter what we call them." He rolls his eyes. "Just come with me. We have to finish our paperwork before the end of the day."

You grumble under your breath but follow the tired-looking doctor to his office. "You also need to prepare yourself for tomorrow. You will be meeting Kaminari, Midoriya, Shinso, Bakugo, Todoroki, Dabi and Kai. And 5 out of the 7 are level 8 and above."

~~~

Taglist: @theblueslytherin @sterassion @somechick30003 @meena-in-a-nutshell @justtj-andnonumberspls @zombieonna @amajikiwife @yulifee @atexansadventureintokinkandlife @ep-ip-ha-ny @hcneymilkks @pastelmoonwitche @stayarmytinyzenmoa-l @railmeddy @unlimitedfirepheonix @confaegion @drownedbytears @burntcrips @megumitodoroki @the-lady-writes-what @awkward-confused @themotherofmoons @ihaveakoreanseoul @1-800-multifandomness @dabis-s-whore @tragically-here @andyronii @sunnnyshark @henhouse-horrors @maggiecc @tspice283 @orenjineki @aaannabbanana @letskidaddle @yzviea @jjk-is-my-shit  @iwachanslove

[If your name is bolded, I wasn’t able to tag you]

[bluedalahorse]

Oh hey, as someone who was initially drawn to Young Royals for Wilhelm and Simon, but ultimately got utterly hooked on the canon by Sara, August, and Felice and their character arcs, these discussions bring me great joy. Thank you thank you thank you.

@missbolt, I’m so on board with the idea that Sara and August’s needs seem to line up with one another so completely. They’re both very isolated from others, and both of them are the members of their family with emotions that don’t always manifest in pretty ways. Yet they can be versions of themself with one another that they can’t always be with other people. I think that’s something we see come to the surface in a big way in season 2, but the groundwork for that is laid so expertly in season 1, even in the earliest episodes.

Young Royals makes the case for authenticity, but it does it in a way that’s so much smarter than a corporate “be yourself!” platitude. Wilhelm and Simon, as a pairing, often showcase the beautiful side of authenticity—the silly in-jokes that couples make, the sweet awkwardness, etc. And it’s one of the things I think many people in fandom love most about them. Sara and August, however, as Wilhelm and Simon’s shadow pairing, often show how authenticity isn’t always pleasant or easy to express. That doesn’t make it less authentic, however. I think we’ve all had days where we wake up feeling authentically jealous or angry or lonely or sad or judgmental or vengeful, and in those moments it can really benefit us to have someone who will hold space for us to process those unpleasant emotions before we make choices that backfire on us. Sara and August’s narrative tragedy is that they don’t figure out how to hold that space for one another until after they’ve made their fatal mistakes, and it means they end up harming their families by keeping their relationship a secret and stalling a bit on the “hold August accountable” front. Moreover, in August’s case, he strives so hard to keep this relationship with Sara in his life, and to keep the power he’s regained as a result of the royal court taking an interest in him—and yes the idea of royal power and of keeping Sara with him become incredibly intertwined for him by the second half of season 2, but anyway! Once those motives are in place for him and he goes all loose canon, Sara starts to see how August won’t hesitate to go after Simon, who she still loves and still wants to be okay. And that’s the nudge for her to reach out to law enforcement and hold August accountable for what he does.

I am not sure where August and Sara’s relationship is going to go in season 3. It could be over completely, but there could be another chapter in store, and I kind of hope there is—the interaction does not even have to be romantic—because they’re the most interesting characters in the show to me. (Which is honestly not a referendum on anyone else’s interestingness—saying any character in Young Royals is the one you find the most interesting is like saying which course was your favorite at a multi-course meal in a five-star restaurant that makes your favorite type of cuisine. So many Young Royals characters are amazing.) To me, I agree that there’s not time in six episodes for Sara and August to formally get back together in a way that feels healthy or satisfying, but I can see either a breakup-with-more-closure or an open ending for the two of them. Sara, to August, represents a deviation from what he believed to be his strict life’s path, and overall the idea of possibility and openness. An open ending with Sara could fit with this theme of possibility and August walking away from the structures that harmed him and set him up to harm others. I do agree that a crucial element there is August agreeing to be held accountable for all his shit, though, and being willing to take consequences and do the work he needs to do so that he doesn’t lash out at others when he feels threatened. He would also have to stop trying to assimilate Sara into his upper class bullshit, which is part of what he does to try and keep her with him in season 2, and also a big reason why he loses her. Once again, the genre of tragedy is in full swing here.

(Also, part of the reason I don’t think we’re done with Sara and August yet is that I think we have a non-zero but also not 100% definite possibility for Sara having a pregnancy scare next season. I know a lot of people are very against that idea of that happening, and I understand why. On my end I actually can see a lot of thematic potential in a plot like that, in a way that would—to me—engagingly parallel Wilhelm’s arc as he contemplates his future and whether he wants to inherit the throne or not. I will not say more, because pregnancy scare plots feel like a can of worms to talk about, and I haven’t finished the meta I am writing about it yet. I am kind of afraid to say this at all because I feel like I’m going to come back to my notifications like Troy from Community when he comes back with the pizza and the room is on fire. But I’ve said it, in the interest of being authentic and accountable for my opinions and actions, just as Young Royals would want me to be.)

As for Felice… who I really wanna discuss in more depth! I am dying to see Felice get a new hobby in season 3, and I am dying to see Wilhelm support her through something now that she’s played that role for him in season 2. One of the few flaws in season 2 for me was that we didn’t get to see Felice pursue an interest of her own. We know horses aren’t really her jam, and we know she’s in choir, but what’s her thing? In Heart and Homeland, I gave Felice an interest in intelligence work and espionage, which has been kind of fun to play with. I’d love to see a modern version of that, just because, hey, I’ve got my biases.

I also am curious about Felice’s experiences with racism and would like to see her gain the language to talk about that. I’m curious about how that would go over with her current friends group… I’m not sure if I can see Stella and Fredrika (or even Maddie, given the way witchcraft and new age stuff can easily become cultural appropriation) easily picking up on those nuances, as much as they have her back in other ways. I could see that being a source of conflict or at least tension between the Manor House Girls. I also think it would be a chance for Simon and Felice to talk through some things? I could always use more development of a Simon-Felice friendship. Maybe that’s a way to explore that plot without it involving the Manor House Girls taking up too much time and space in an episode.

Wow. Season 3 has so much we want for it, and we’re not going to get everything we want. Can we make a fandom promise that we’ll explore some of these ideas in fic, if nothing else? I would happily read, reblog, and comment on some of these intricate ideas that we are discussing in meta. I think that’s the best way to deal with the fact that six episodes just doesn’t feel like enough!

August and Sara seemed to fulfil a deep need in each other

August and Sara was an unexpected pairing, but once they got together, it made a lot of sense to me.

So many good points have been made about their relationship by for instance @hillerska-official, @darktwistedgenderplural, @emberc, @heartbreakprincewille, @daylightsimon and @joviefandom. I probably don't have anything all that new to add, but I wanted to put all my thoughts about their relationship in one place. In no way do I support August and Sara's actions, but I think their developing relationship was consistent with their character arcs and added depth to their characters and contributed to the story. Buckle up, this will be long!

Starting to hang out

Why did August and Sara even start hanging out in the first place? Of course, it all started with Sara agreeing to keep it a secret that August leaked the video, in return for August helping her get a scholarship and a spot at Manor House. The general consensus in the fandom seems to be that Sara made this deal as she is a social climber and wanted to be more like these upper class kids. This was likely part of the reason, but I think it ran deeper than that. Her mother had just stated her intention to take Sara and Simon out of Hillerska and reenrol them at the local school. While Sara had made friends at Hillerska, she was bullied so badly at the local school that she ended up having to redo a year there, as she missed too many classes because she was so afraid to go to school. She must have been terrified of going back to that school. Making the deal with August, who had so much power at the school, probably seemed to Sara to be her one shot at staying at Hillerska - her one shot at keeping her friends there and avoiding her bullies.

As for August, a main reason for hanging out with her was of course that Sara was the only one apart from Wille that definitely knew he leaked the video, thereby being the only person he could confide in regarding his fears about what would happen to him.

Growing closer

But even so, how could August get past the status difference between them and start hanging out with her more and even hooking up with her? August, who seems to despise the working class and put down Sara and Simon every chance he gets? Who is so preoccupied with his façade, a façade Sara certainly doesn't fit with? However, by the time they started hooking up more properly early in season 2, August was at rock bottom. He was sure that the court knew his secret and would punish him, Wille humiliated him every chance he got, and he had lost his status and power at school. At this point, August's façade was already shattering, and keeping up appearances might have started to seem impossible. In the grand scheme of things, would it really make any difference anymore if he hooked up with a working class girl? We see another indication that things he would usually be very preoccupied with didn't seem to matter to him anymore, when he after the rowing competition chastised Vincent for blaming Simon and stated that the competition wasn't important. August seemed to have given up his bid for power at school - he was past the point of caring about keeping up appearances (of course this changed right after this scene when he was informed he is next in line to the throne and thus felt like he had some power back, but by then he had already fallen for Sara).

It was probably also a relief for August that he didn't really have to keep up appearances around Sara the same way he had to around his upper class peers. We saw how extremely insecure and jealous he was when dating Felice, the most popular girl at Hillerska who he had decided would be the perfect match for him. As she fit perfectly with the successful façade he wanted to show the world, the stakes were very high for him, which brought out all his insecurities. Sara, on the other hand, was not someone the other boys showed interest in, and as she didn't matter in his world, the stakes were much lower. If he fucked it up with Sara, no one would care. Thus, he didn't feel the same need to play power games and keep up appearances around her. Since she wasn't really a part of his social circle and upper class world, he could let down his guard around her in a way he couldn't with anyone else.

As for Sara, it was clear that she was quite physically attracted to August. She was also very inexperienced with boys, and when he kissed her out of the blue in episode 3 of season 1 (which of course had everything to do with Felice and nothing to do with Sara), it seemed to make quite an impression on her - in the next episode, she caressed the picture Felice had of him in her room. It seems likely that he was her first kiss, and for Sara who wasn't used to guys liking her, it must have been very tempting to hook up with him more.

Furthermore, the fact that August started confiding in her likely had a profound effect on Sara. She, who was used to being an outsider and who stated herself that she was better with horses than with people, suddenly found herself to be be the confidante of someone who was skilled socially (just look at how he greeted the guests in the last episode of season 2), who was of high social status, and who had previously scoffed at her. Sara also seems to be used to people (especially Simon) having to take care of her, but with August, she was the one comforting him and giving him advice. By hooking up with August and becoming his confidante, she broke out of the roles she was usually confined to and took on a role she probably would have thought impossible previously. This must have felt quite liberating for her.

Falling in love

August is obsessed with keeping up appearances to the point that he has developed an eating disorder and a reliance on performance-enhancing drugs. We know that his father took his own life, and losing a parent to suicide often leaves a child with a feeling of not being loved and good enough to stick around for. August's whole life seems to be a fight to prove - to others and, most importantly, to himself - that he is good enough. He does this by grabbing all the power he can get, trying to curate a "perfect" façade, putting down people he deems to be beneath him, and lashing out at anyone threatening his status. However, none of this seems to quell his fear of not being good enough and being unlovable, as shown by the fact that he seemed to be at his most insecure when dating the "perfect girl" and having all the positions of power he possibly could at school. However, Sara knew about the worst thing he had ever done, and still seemed to love him. He also perceived her as a social climber who understood his desire for power and status. She made him feel loved and understood and seen when he was at his worst, giving him a glimmer of hope that he might be lovable and good enough even when abandoning his carefully crafted façade. How could August not fall for Sara?

The years of bullying and the difficulties with navigating social interactions seem to have left Sara starved for human connection outside of her family. Her friendship with Felice and inclusion in Felice's friend group probably satisfied some of that need, but she was still felt a bit like an outsider - due to being poorer and from a different social class than her friends, not knowing the codes and frequently being in need of an explanation of how things worked. As discussed in the last section, her usual role in social interactions of being the one others had to take care of, was reversed with August. In addition, having someone who puts up such a façade being so vulnerable with you is one helluva drug in general. For Sara, who seemed to fear not being able to forge real human connection with people outside of her family, her burgeoning relationship with August showed her that she could have a deep connection with someone, that she could be different from what she had imagined herself to be. When he gave her the validation she so sorely needed, it is no wonder that she wanted to believe that he was a good person deep down and that she could change him. And when she had managed to convince herself of this, how could Sara not fall for August?

What their relationship adds to their characters and the show

Of course, August and Sara's relationship didn't last and could never last. They were both projecting on each other - August projecting his ambitions on Sara making him believe that she understood him far better than she actually did, and Sara projecting the role of redeemed sinner which she really needed August to be onto him. This led to a disconnect between them that became very apparent in their last two conversations together in season 2. Even if it wasn't for this, August would probably start feeling like Sara was a liability to him when climbing higher socially and eventually break things off with her in favour of someone who would better fit his "perfect" façade. And August would never be accepted in Sara's family and social circle due to leaking the video and harming Simon and Wille. So what was the point of spending so much time on their relationship in this second season?

In his relationship with Sara, we got to see a different, softer side of August. We got a glimpse of how different he potentially could have been if he wasn't so deeply insecure and preoccupied with keeping up appearances. One could almost begin to hope that the relationship led to growth in August...which made it all the more heart-breaking when he reverted to his self-serving, scheming ways as soon as he had a sliver of power. Getting a peek behind August's façade made it easier to understand what is driving his actions, making him a much more three-dimensional character than in the first season, which greatly added to the tension in the story.

We also got to see a softer side of Sara. In the first season and parts of the second season, her morals appeared to be very black-and-white. She was complaining that Simon was giving people too many chances, blamed their mother for not leaving their father earlier even though it would have made them homeless, seemed to expect Simon to have the same (non-)relationship to their father as her (though her feeling of betrayal when it was revealed that he had been visiting their father probably of course also had to do with Simon not having been honest with her). After confessing to kissing Wille at the ball, Simon expected her to tell him that he is a bad person for cheating on Marcus and that Marcus is much better for him than Wille. However, as several people have noted, Sara was at that point able to empathise more with Simon and give him better advice and support by saying that he can't control his feelings and that doing bad things at times doesn't necessarily make you a bad person. Through her relationship with August, Sara seemed to start understanding that people have different sides and that things aren't always as black-and-white as they may seem. Almost up to the very end, she did not seem able to apply this new understanding to see Felice's side of the issue when her horse was sold, but Sara may still seem to have undergone some personal growth this second season. I am excited to see whether she will be able to continue this growth next season now that she has realised how severely she misjudged August, hopefully coupled with slightly less naivety (and hopefully she will learn to stop replicating the relationship her parents had, which I haven't touched on here as the post is already so long, but which @daylightsimon, @darktwistedgenderplural, and @malinthebodyguard have written so insightfully about). Her relationship with August showed us new sides of Sara's character, and might also lead Sara to understand herself better. This makes her a more interesting and three-dimensional character in my eyes, and creates a new dynamic in her sibling relationship with Simon, again increasing the tension in the story.

Thus, August and Sara's relationship adds depth to both of their characters, and contributes to the story by raising the stakes and creating new dynamics. And Malte Gårdinger and Frida Argento play these characters perfectly!

For these reasons, I think it was justified to devote as much time to their relationship as was done in season 2. In season 3, I really hope we will get to know the last secondary character - Felice - better. The fact that Young Royals shows us different sides of both the primary and secondary characters makes them seem much more real and consequently renders the story more impactful.

Aaaanyway, these were my two (or two hundred) cents on August and Sara's relationship. Let me round off with one gripe, though: how the hell has the fandom settled on Sargust as their couple's name, when Aura is right there for the taking?!?

[kingexpl0sionmurder]

Body Electric - Kaminari Denki - Smut

Author: @kingexpl0sionmurder Pairing: Kaminari Denki/F!Reader Rating: 18+ (contains smut) Words: 5,491 Warnings: Sex work (Cam boy/girl), Quirkless AU, Aged-up Adult characters (someone is in grad school! wow!), mentions of masturbation (both male and female), mentions of casual ShinKami, established KiriBaku, Idk they are all just really sexually liberated and don’t care about watching each other cum. Is that voyeurism? I’m bad at tagging things. Title taken from a Lana Del Rey song. AN: Another BNHarem collab piece! The theme was sex work, and I have wanted to do a camboy Denki for a long time so here we go. This was really smutty in my head but Denki makes me soft and it turned out really cute in the end, I’m sorry? He’s such a dork I feel like any sexual encounter with him would just turn out like this in some way, idk.  Thanks to @unbreakablekiribaku​ and @sailorsero​ as usual for being supportive of me. Happy birthday to @lady-bakuhoe and @burnedbyshoto​ 🎂🎂 There is no one else I would rather be birthday triplets with!

Please check out the Collab Masterlist: HERE Look 👀 at My Masterlist: HERE Buy me a Kofi if you’re scared of clowns too: HERE

---

Sighing, you sat up on your elbows, squinting at the chat on the screen, willing your heart to stop pounding and your breath to even out. The donations were pouring in, the chat moving so fast you couldn’t even read it. “Alright, lovelies, I hope you enjoyed that. Be right back and we’ll chat a little bit, okay?”

Donations popped up, the chat slowing a little as the clients who only came to jerk off to you left, leaving those who considered themselves true fans. You stood and made your way to the bathroom to pee, rinsing your toy off in the sink and washing your hands. You went back to your room, pulling on a hoodie and settling in front of the screen again.

“Alright, I’m back! I have some time for a few questions and then I have to go for the night. Let me see what we got!” You scanned the chat, ignoring the normal inappropriate questions. Mindfucker:  Do you know who Chargebolt is? Cause I heard he watches your stream.

Your heart, which had finally slowed to a normal rhythm, picked up again. You most definitely knew who Chargebolt was. You gave him a good amount of money from your donations when you watched his cam shows yourself. “I do actually, he’s pretty popular on here, isn’t he?” You sat back a little, furrowing your brows. “How do you know he watches me?”

RedDaddy: He did a Q&A and mentioned your channel! Told everyone to check you out.

You recognized the names of the viewers and knew they were also regulars on Chargebolt’s streams as well, so you believed them. Chargebolt was gorgeous and funny, just your type. The knowledge that he was interested in you enough to watch you get off on camera was flattering. You hoped your blush wasn’t showing on your face. 

“I’m surprised he knows who I am!” You had missed the last Q&A he’d done, since it hadn’t been on his normal streaming day, and you’d been stuck at work late. Leaning forward again, you bit your lip, looking into the camera from under your lashes. “Can I tell you guys a secret? I watch him, too. Why do you think I never do shows on Thursdays? That’s Chargebolt day.” With a wink you sat back, trying to will the blush from your cheeks. Mindfucker: I knew it! I bet he’s watching right now. You smiled, shrugging. “I hope he enjoyed the show, then!” You tried to hold it together, suppressing the urge to burst into a fit of giggles at the thought, answering a few more silly questions from your regulars, before signing off for the night, promising to be back again the following week.

You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding, leaning your head back and groaning. It was wild that the guy whose cam shows you watched on the regular, the one who had inspired you to start your own, who you thought of half the time when you were filming yourself getting off on camera for strangers, knew who you were and was one of your viewers. 

It brought you down a whole rabbit hole for a second, wondering if he got off on you getting off. Why else would he watch? Did he ever donate? You assumed he had a secondary account so you wouldn’t know it was him even if you tried to look at your past viewers, just like you had a secret account so you could watch him as well. 

Cracking your eyes open, you clicked to view the donation tallies for the evening. You’d made enough to pay the rent on your apartment for the month in just one night. Sometimes you wondered how you ever managed to survive before you started doing this. It was meant to be a temporary side job, but you’d been running this cam channel under the screen name Neko for over six months, and you had clawed your way out of debt in such a short time, it didn’t make sense for you to stop.

You viewed a few more visitor stats with interest, before logging off the computer and shutting the laptop. You had to get to sleep for your real job in the morning, so you figured it was time for bed, pushing thoughts of Chargebolt to the back of your mind for now.

It wasn’t until later when you were lying down to sleep, that you thought of him again. Your eyes closed as you ran through a scenario in your head, wondering if he would mention you on Thursday, and what would come of all this? You had noticed your viewer numbers had spiked that day, so it was definitely beneficial that you’d caught his eye. You just weren’t sure what would happen next.

--

Denki was grinning into the camera, wiping the cum off of his abs with the towel he kept beside him, his chest and cheeks flushed pink. He adjusted in his chair, tugging the toy out of his hole and chucking it to the side, pulling his boxers back up over his softening cock. “I hope it was as good for you as it was for me, babes.” 

He chuckled at the comments flooding the chat as he reached for his water and took a sip. 

Tapeman: As always, you never disappoint me, Chargebolt.

“Hey thanks, Tapeman! I appreciate you always coming to hang out...get it? Coming?”

Mindfucker: Ridiculous.

“Aw, you love me, Mindfucker.” He winked at the camera. “So, did you guys enjoy my Q&A the other day?”

The chat filled with praise, making him grin. He loved to talk to his fans, and sometimes they had some great questions for him. He knew a lot of people just watched him as a way to get off, but he liked to give a little piece of himself to them because he knew that most of the people who watched were probably lonely, and he wanted to help with that in some way. He kept things laid back, joking and laughing with his viewers before and after the show, taking requests and doing his best to remember some of the regulars. Some of the few who had been with him from the beginning he’d made into moderators to help with keeping things somewhat orderly in the chat. Some of them he actually knew in real life, like his roommate Hitoshi, who used the alias Mindfucker.

Mindfucker: So are we going to talk about Neko? Denki’s eyebrows rose. “Oh, you mean the stream the other day? It was…” He made the appropriate motion as he said it. “Chef’s kiss, immaculate. She’s so beautiful…” Trailing off, he let himself think back to the way your chest heaved and the face you made when you came. “I would do anything for her, man.”

RedDaddy: Dude, I agree! She’s also super sweet, like, the total package.

Sighing, he leaned his elbow on the desk, his cheek resting on his palm. “I am a simp, my guy.” He sat up, squinting at the chat. “She said she watches, right? Is she here right now?” He scanned the names of the viewers, frowning. “She probably has a second account. Well, if you’re here, Neko, you should hit me up. I read all of my DM’s okay?” He grinned, winking again. “Alright, I have to go feed the cats so I’m outie 5000, thanks for hanging out and I’ll see you guys next week!”

He said his goodbyes, ending the stream and sighing. He wiped off his toy with the towel and clicked through his stats for the day, smiling at some of the comments that came with the donations. Hitoshi came into his room a few minutes later, holding one of the cats, an orange tabby named Miso, in his arms. “I fed them, you don’t have to.”

Was it weird that his roommate watched him fuck himself on toys and jerk off on the internet on a weekly basis? Nope. Denki had forgone all sense of modesty when it came to sex a long time ago, and Hitoshi was the same. It helped that they fucked around on occasion, best friends who got lonely and lived together sometimes did that, he guessed. Or maybe they were weird. It was whatever, he didn’t like to think about it too much. 

“What would I do without you, Toshi?”

“Kill the cats, probably.” He deadpanned, leaning in the doorway. “Burn all the toast you try to make, buy the wrong peanut butter, eat Cheese-Itz for breakfast every day, forget to pay the cable bill.” He raised his eyebrows. “I can keep going.”

“Fuck off, I got the all-natural peanut butter once, it was an accident!” Denki threw his soiled towel into the laundry basket by the closet and picked up the toy he’d used, waving it around a bit. “Did you enjoy the stream?”

Hitoshi snorted, eyeing the dildo warily. “I didn’t really watch, I had my eye on the chat. I was looking for Neko.”

“Man, I can’t believe she’s a fan!” He waved the dildo some more, watching as it jiggled. “I would let her do unspeakable things to me.”

“Look out, your sub is showing, Denki.” Hitoshi teased. “But I agree, she’s pretty great. I wonder if she’ll ever do private shows.” Pausing to scritch Miso behind the ears, he continued. “I’m sure they’d be in high demand.”

Denki stood, pointing at Hitoshi with the dildo. He really needed to put it down somewhere and stop brandishing it around like a sword. “Don’t even, I’d spend all my money on that girl.” 

“I know you would.” He chuckled. “I did try to go through the usernames and see if I could find out who she could be, but I didn’t have any luck.”

“It’s okay! I’m leaving it up to fate now, man. If the universe wants us to know each other, we will.” He stuck his thumb towards the ensuite. “I’m going to wash my ass and then we can play Among Us if you want.”

Hitoshi, completely unphased as usual, nodded. “I’ll get a team together. Check the discord when you get out.”

Humming, Denki made his way to the bathroom, picking up his phone on the way. It buzzed as he closed the door, and he glanced down to see he had a message from his other moderator and friend, Eijirou, aka RedDaddy. Tossing the dildo in the sink, he looked down at the screen and opened the message.

Eiji: No luck on finding Neko on the stream, but she said she never misses a Thursday, so I bet she was there.

Denki: Thanks for keeping an eye out, man. I appreciate you. Among us in 30?

Eiji: Bet. I’ll ask Kats to play too.

--

Your next stream day had you feeling nervous. Chargebolt had talked directly at you on his last stream, asking you to slide into his DMs, and you had yet to take him up on it. You didn’t know what you were so scared of, Chargebolt was a nice guy. You chalked it up to the fear of the unknown. If you sent him a message, what would you even say? ‘Hey dude, nice cock?’ It was bound to be a disaster.

Pushing your nerves back down, you made sure you were ready for your stream, excited for the news you were about to drop on your viewers. You were needing a little extra cash due to some unfortunate car trouble, and you’d figured out a way to make up what you needed in record time.

“Hey everyone, welcome!” You smiled at the camera, waving your fingers. “Thanks for coming! I see a lot of familiar names here tonight. Hi Mindfucker, Dynamight, RedDaddy, Tapeman, LightningMcQueen!”

LightningMcQueen: Hey, beautiful! I’ve been looking forward to this all week.

Dynamight: Chill out, McQueen, you look desperate.

RedDaddy: Be nice, Dynamight. Hi, Neko!

Dynamight: Fuck off, Shittyhair.

Mindfucker: How’s your cat, Neko?

“Be good, Dynamight. You’re lucky I know you don’t mean that!” You giggled at the antics of your regulars, smiling at the question about your cat. “Ichigo is doing good, Mindfucker, thanks for asking! I’ll bring her on camera after the show if you want to say hi!”

Minfucker just sent a cat emoji and you laughed, shaking your head. “I’m beginning to think that you’re just here for Ichigo and not me.”

The chat went crazy with people denying it, telling you how much they loved watching you every week. You lit up, feeling more excited about your news.

“So I have something I want to discuss before we get started today. I’ve decided I want to try out doing some private shows, so I’m going to be offering up a few spots. I’m going to give some of my longest and most frequent supporters a shot first, and if all goes well, then I’ll open them up to the rest of you! I’ll be adding a signup link at the bottom of my page after tonight’s stream, so if you’re interested you can apply and I’ll pick a few of you and we’ll work out a schedule! How does that sound?”

Dynamight: McQueen already has his credit card ready I bet.

“Aw, you don’t want to play with me, Dynamight?” You teased, giving the camera your best pout.

Dynamight: You couldn’t handle me, Princess.

LightningMcQueen: Hush. You’re a bottom, Dyna.

Dynamight: Die you fucking extra.

LightningMcQueen: Love you too, blasty.

“I was going to let you pick the toy today, Dynamight, but if you can’t behave then I’m just going to have to let someone else have a turn.” You gave the camera a disapproving look, frowning. You’d picked up that these guys were friends, so you knew they were just messing with each other.

A donation popped up from Dynamight with a comment attached. 

Let McQueen choose this time, babe.

“It looks like Dynamight is going to let you choose, McQueen. Which one?” You pulled over the box you kept your toys in and showed it to the camera. “Pick a color.”

LightningMcQueen: Yellow

You pulled the yellow silicone out of the box and showed it to the chat, smirking. “I call this one Chargebolt because it’s the same color as his hair. Are you sure this is the one you want me to use?”

--

When your stream ended, Denki leaned back in his chair, taking a deep breath. The fact that he’d watched you fuck yourself with a dildo that you’d named after him was the hottest thing he could have imagined. He was jealous of that piece of bright yellow silicone more than he should be. He’d still enjoyed it, if the mess across his abs and chest were any indication. 

He cleaned himself up and pulled on a shirt, clicking on the link for the private show signup. It was pretty straightforward, listing the price and how long the show would be, and asking for his username and what he would be interested in doing or seeing and what day would work best.

Staring at the form for a moment, he contemplated his options. He could sign up with his LightningMcQueen account, and he might have a chance. He was the first one out of his friends to find your channel one night when he was bored and horny. Then he’d shown it to Hitoshi and then shared your info with Eijirou, Katsuki, and Hanta. He would be considered one of the longest and loyal viewers like you had said.

However, if you got a request from Chargebolt? What would you do? Would you ignore it? 

“Toshi!” He called out, knowing his roommate would hear him without him having to get up. “I’m having a crisis!”

The door opened, and the purple-haired man stood in the doorway. “I am not prepared to handle your bi panic right now, Denki.”

“Are you going to put in for a private show from Neko?” Denki pushed on, ignoring his friend’s exasperation. 

“I spoke that into existence last week, you know. You’re welcome.”

Flopping back in his chair, Denki closed his eyes. “Should I send in the request with this account or with the Chargebolt one?”

Hitoshi shrugged, watching their cat Sashimi wander into the room. “You’ve wanted to talk to her for ages, man. You could have messaged her forever ago and you wouldn’t be playing this game with her. Sign up with your actual account.”

“I mean, she must think I’m cute, right? Otherwise, she wouldn’t watch.” He sat up, logging out of his secondary account and into his main one. He had a few unread DM’s, so he clicked, his breath catching in his throat. “Dude, look.”

There was a message from you, short but sweet.

Hi, Chargebolt. I don’t know if you saw the stream today, but you should check it out if you haven’t. I left it up for you.”

“She wants you to see her use that dildo she named after you.” Hitoshi patted his shoulder, and then bent down to pick up Sashimi. “I signed up but I told her I just wanted to have a date with her cat. She probably won’t pick me.”

“She will, she loves cats.” Denki clicked on your page and scrolled down to the bottom where the signup was again, letting it populate his main account in the information, and writing ‘any day except Thursday’ in the section for the time that worked for him. “I’m going to get this girl to date me, just you watch.”

Snorting, his roommate closed the door behind him as he left. “I believe in you, Pikachu.”

Once his request was submitted, he went back to his DM’s and sent you a message back.

“I was there, Neko. I never miss a stream. I submitted for a private show, so I hope you’ll pick me. I’ve been one of your viewers since the beginning, you know.”

---

In your head, you tried to plan what you would say once you were face to face (via camera) with the one and only Chargebolt. Everything your brain seemed to come up with fell short. What did you say to this guy, who you’d been simping over for over 9 months, who lit up your screen every Thursday with terrible puns and panty-dropping smiles? You knew exactly what he looked like and sounded like when he came. It was a strange thing to think that you knew that but you’d never actually spoken to him before.

It made you feel a little better when you realized he knew just as much about you. That he watched you fuck yourself on a dildo you’d named after him, and then spent the rest of the stream showing off your fluffy white cat Ichigo. 

It was time to put on your big girl panties. You could do this. 

Chargebolt had been one of the few that you’d chosen to do these shows with. He was also the last one. You’d met with 4 others, the ones who were the most active in your chat, the ones you assumed were actually friends. 

Your first one was with Tapeman, who asked you to call him Sero. He was cute, with the widest, prettiest smile you’d ever seen. He made you laugh, and called you beautiful, and spoke to you in Spanish. You didn’t feel uncomfortable once with him, and the experience gave you hope that the rest would be just as nice.

Mindfucker was next, whose name was Shinsou and lowkey your favorite one. He didn’t want anything sexual at all, which surprised you. You sat with him and drank tea and you got to meet his two fur children, Miso and Sashimi, while he told you about his roommate. You let him admire Ichigo, and talked about music. He was sarcastic, but not in a mean way, and you were pretty sure he was going to be your new best friend.

RedDaddy and Dynamight had asked to do theirs together since they were dating. You wanted to question why they both watched your stream but RedDaddy, who was actually named Kirishima, answered it for you.

“We’re both bi, and we think you’re cute!”

“Yeah, plus McQueen has a thing for you so we like to be in the chat to help him out.” Dynamite, aka Bakugou, added in his gruff voice, folding his arms across his chest.

“Aw, that’s sweet!” You smiled at them. “He didn’t request a private show though, so I guess he doesn’t like me that much.”

Bakugou coughed and Kirishima grinned. “Maybe he was nervous! I’m sure you’ll meet him in one of these someday!”

“Enough about that dumbass.” Bakugou leaned forward, his hand on Kirishima’s knee. “Give us a show and we’ll give you one in return. Use that orange and green one for me, Princess.”

And give you a show they did. You got lost in how they looked at each other while they jerked each other off, and you were pretty sure they forgot you were even there at some point. When it was over, you suggested that they start their own channel.

Bakugou scoffed, but you could tell he was blushing a bit.

“I don’t know, Neko. I don’t think I could share him with anyone else. Except you, you’re the exception.” Kirishima grinned, winking at you.

But now it was Chargebolt’s turn. You made sure you had everything you needed, making sure Ichigo was out of the room, and then signed into your account. 

Chargebolt was online, so you made the private room and sent him the request. You felt like you were shaking, and you checked yourself in the camera to make sure you didn’t look like a wreck.

You barely had time to breathe before he entered the chat, his camera screen coming to life and showing you his smiling face. You melted a bit, biting your lip, gazing at how attractive he was. 

“Hey, Neko!” Chargebolt was as vibrant as ever, tucking his hair behind his ears, the black lightning bolt in his hair dark against the bright yellow of the rest of it.

“It’s nice to see you, Chargebolt.” You tried to relax, rolling your shoulders back. “It’s kind of weird knowing you can see me too.”

He laughed, leaning back in his chair. You tried not to stare at his arms in the tank top he was wearing. Chargebolt had a small frame, but his muscles were defined. You’d seen him plow through an entire bag of chips on stream once, without pausing to breathe, so you assumed he must be one of those people with amazing metabolism that you envied. “You can call me Denki if you want, kitten.”

You choked on air at the nickname, trying to compose yourself. “Kitten?”

“Well, Neko means cat, doesn’t it?” He raised an eyebrow. “I won’t call you that if you don’t like it.”

“No!” You practically shouted. “No, I mean, it’s fine. I like it.”

“Sweet.” He grinned. “Man, I’ve wanted to get you alone like this for so long, and now I’m just feeling really nervous.”

“You’re nervous?” You were surprised. The always cool but super dorky Chargebolt was nervous because of you? “So am I.”

Chargebolt- sorry, Denki, rested his elbow on the desk, propping his head in his hand. “Well, glad to know I’m not the only disaster here. I’ve been trying to get the courage to talk to you for months, and then finally Hitoshi got me to talk about you on stream a few weeks ago, and now here we are.”

“Who’s Hitoshi? One of your regulars?” Knowing that you weren’t the only one who was sweating bullets had you relaxing a bit. 

“Oh yeah, Mindfucker! You know him right? He did a thing with you the other day, didn’t he?”

Eyes wide, you stared at him. “Shinsou?”

“Yeah, that’s my best friend and my roommate. He said he showed you the cats.” He shrugged. “You picked all my friends for your private shows. Sero, Kiri, Bakugou, Shinsou.” He paused, smirking. “I forgot that you don’t know that I’m LightningMcQueen.”

“That’s you? I was wondering why they didn’t send me a request, but it all makes sense now.”

Denki shot you finger guns and winked. “Kachow!”

“Oh god, stop it.” You rolled your eyes.

He chuckled, grinning at you. “So, did Shinsou talk about me?”

You giggled, remembering back. “He told me a story about how his roommate mistook a fuzzball for a spider and spent the afternoon sitting on a table waiting for him to come home and kill it.”

“It looked like one of those freaky poisonous ones from where I was sitting. I was afraid to let it out of my sight in case it got away and then multiplied and killed me in my sleep or something.” He took a deep breath. “Spiders are terrifying.”

This man was amazing. “You are everything I always thought you’d be, you know that?”

“I’m going to take that as a compliment.” He sighed. “You have to have some kind of embarrassing story to tell me so I don’t feel like a fool. You’ve got to make it even.”

“One year my dad hired a clown to come to my birthday party. He walked in the front door and I jetted out the back door and hid in the garden until he left. Clowns are just as terrifying as spiders.”

Chargebolt laughed, and the sound made your stomach do a somersault. It was just as bright and happy as he was. “That is the cutest shit I’ve ever heard!”

“I’m glad my childhood trauma is amusing you.” You deadpanned, trying to keep the smile off your face.

“Aw, don’t be like that kitten! I’m glad we can bond over our irrational fears like this, you know?” He 

You shivered happily. “Okay, okay.” You cleared your throat. “So, you didn’t write anything down here for what you wanted out of our chat today.”

“Oh, okay, down to business then.” He sat up straight. “Well, I wanted to tell you myself instead of submitting it on the form.”

Intrigued, you raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t want to give me a chance to back out?”

Snorting, and shook his head. “Nah, I think you’ll like it, kitten.” He folded his hands behind his head. “I want you to tell me what to do. I’m at your mercy.”

Swallowing thickly, you blinked at him. That was...really hot. “You like being told what to do?”

“I would love nothing more for you to pull my hair and peg me within an inch of my life while calling me your little cock slut.” He stared at you with an eyebrow raised, looking pleased with himself when he saw your expression.

Your thighs clenched together involuntarily. “Fuck.”

“Yeah, right? I mean, I’m a switch, I’d do the same to you if you asked.  But we can save that for next time.” He smirked. “So, you down?”

Next time? This man was going to kill you. “Take off your shirt, Denki.”

“Fuck yes.” He groaned, reaching behind him and tugging the garment over his head. 

His chest and abs came into view, and you let your eyes linger on the barbells through his nipples. “Pants too.”

He pushed his chair away from his desk and shimmied out of his shorts, kicking them to the side. You gazed at him in his blue boxer briefs, eyes lingering on his thin waist, strong thighs, and the outline of his cock. He was a sight to behold, honestly.

You held the fangirling back, leaning forward to get a better look at him. “Do you have any toys, Denki?”

“Of course, Kitten.” He moved out of view for a moment, coming back with a box. 

“Let me see.” He tilted the box towards the camera, your eyes flitting over the different colors and shapes inside. “The pink one.” 

“Okay, hang on, let me-” He cut off, standing up and throwing the pink toy on the bed. He picked up the laptop and moved it, laying down beside it and angling the camera so you could see what he was doing.

“Did you stretch yourself, baby?” 

He made a noise that sounded like a whine in the back of his throat at the pet name, obviously pleased by it. “Yeah, of course I did.” He glanced at the screen. “You should, uh, take your shirt off too.”

“I thought you wanted me to tell you what to do, not the other way around.” Teasing him, you crossed your arms over your chest.

He pouted slightly. “I’ve been good so far though, right?”

“All you’ve done is take off two items of clothing and move to the bed. You’re gonna have to work harder than that!”

Huffing, he lifted his ass off the bed and tugged his underwear down his legs, kicking them off, his hand already moving to wrap around his already hard cock.

“Did I say you could touch yourself, Denki?” It was getting hard to keep up the stern act you were putting on, but you knew it was what he wanted. You wanted to watch him touch himself, watch the way his eyes fluttered closed when his thumb brushed over the leaking head of his cock, and the way he would bite his lip when he moved his wrist a certain way.

You could be patient though, so you continued.

“If I was there right now, what would you want me to do first?”

He stilled, blinking at you a few times. “I would want your mouth first, I think.”

Humming, you sat back, pulling your shirt over your head, letting him admire the lacey purple bra covering your chest. “You’d want my mouth on your cock? Trace my tongue along that vein along the underside and suck on the head a little?”

Denki groaned, closing his eyes, his grip visibly tightening around his shaft. He looked like he was trying not to get worked up too fast. You were amazed at how your words were affecting him, so you pressed on.

“I’d take you all the way down until I was choking on it, and I’d let you hold onto my hair and fuck my face. God, you don’t know how many times I've dreamed about doing that for you. What would you say to that?”

The blush spreading down his neck and chest made him look so pretty. “Ugh, fuck kitten, you’re killing me.” He swallowed hard, opening his eyes to look at you again. “I’d tell you how good you made me feel, but I wouldn’t let you finish me off that way.”

“Oh no? Tell me what else you’d do.” You took the opportunity to move to the bed yourself, pulling off your leggings and panties all at once. 

Eyes glued to you while you unclipped your bra and threw it across the room, he continued. “Fuck, um, I would...god, you’re beautiful.”

Flushing at the compliment, you looked down shyly, breaking character. “I’ve heard you say that before and I still don’t believe it.”

Denki scoffed. “If you need a daily reminder, I’d be happy to be the one to tell you, kitten.” You could hear the sincerity in his voice, and it made your heart do a little flip. “I might seem like a dumbass but I’m using this camboy money to pay off my student loans for my masters in English lit so I can quote you entire sonnets from Shakespeare without hesitation if that will help you believe me.”

Your eyebrows shot up, impressed. Realizing you’d ruined the moment, you sighed, covering your eyes with your hand. “I’m sorry, I’m crap at this. I really just want to watch you cum.”

Chuckling, you heard him shifting on the bed. “Okay, how about this? Forget the toys. Just close your eyes and listen to me.”

“Okay.”

“If you were here with me right now, just like that, I’d spend so much time exploring every inch of you with my tongue. I’d start with your lips, your jaw, your neck. Collarbones, shoulders, your chest, those cute nipples-”

“How are nipples cute?” You interrupted with a snort.

You could hear him trying not to laugh, his voice pitched a bit higher. “Shh, don’t ruin it.”

“I think you just did when you said ‘cute nipples’.” You’d never had this much fun with someone in a situation like this. “If I had a dick, my boner would have just died.”

Denki wheezed, and you opened your eyes to look over at him. He was gazing back at you, his eyes bright as he laughed into his palm. “God, I like you so much, kitten.”

Your grin softened, your heart pounding at his words. “Me too, Denki.” 

[yoonpobs]

dilf (and love) | knj | m

pairing: kim namjoon x oc

genre: fluff, domestic fluff, smut, established relationship, marriage and kids lol

warnings: light dom/sub themes, pregnancy kink, penetrative sex, oral sex (f & m receiving), DILF JOON

words: 6, 702

summary: it's been too long since you and namjoon had time to yourselves

“God take that thing away from me!” You whine as you smother your face with your hands.

Jin pins you with a dry look as he catches a glimpse of ‘that thing’ who is looking up at you with big eyes and a toothless grin.

“That thing is your child …” Jin says blandly.

“That thing is ruining my sex life.” You narrow your eyes at Chanmi as she babbles some incoherent words with her ten-month-old vocabulary. You’d think as the daughter and apple of Kim Namjoon’s eye that she’d be able to read, write and speak sixteen languages at the age of one.

You still allow Chanmi to wrap her chubby fingers around your thinner ones and you can’t help but coo at your daughter. While she may have been the one thing that disrupted any intimate moment between you and Namjoon, you would fight anyone that would ever dare to mess with her. Your own husband included.

“Please, spare the details,” Jin mutters under his breath as he watches Chanmi fondly as she attempts to tug at your sleeve in hopes of getting your attention. You squeeze her cheeks before lifting her up in your arms and hold her close to your chest. You whine because she smells so … fresh. Just like a little bread baby that was all yours.

God, you loved her.

“My old sex life brought me this angel.” You grin up at your daughter who just smiles at you, unknowing of the context of your words.

“Can you stop using such vulgar words in front of your child?” Jin scolds you but doesn’t do anything much to take Chanmi out of your grasp.

You roll your eyes.

“She’s like 300 days old. She doesn’t even know how to shit at a decent hour let alone understand what sex is. Penis in vagina. Destroying pussy. A hole in one. Railing—”

Jin slaps his hand over your mouth to get you to stop talking as he glares at you.

“Why did my brother marry a heathen like you.” Jin seethes.

You shrug nonchalantly as you turn your head to see your dumbhead yet smart-ass husband that was attempting to glue back the shards of glass from the wine glass he broke earlier in hopes of you not realising.

“He needed to put his 148 IQ to good use and I’m the best investment his finance major ever got him.”

“The only good thing that came out of your marriage is this cutie.” Jin coos at his niece and you have half the mind to withdraw his Chanmi visiting card because whenever he was over all he did was berate you and your … unique ways of parenting.

But Jin would still say he cared for you as far as a brother-in-law would but with the added benefit of the fact that he was your best friend before he became your brother-in-law. You were an interesting character, to say the least, and the only reason you managed to befriend Jin was due to the fact that you didn’t know what boundaries meant and had invaded his personal space on the first day of lectures when you leaned over him to throw something at a know-it-all. Jin had been annoyed, but then an unlikely friendship bloomed out of the mutual distaste for ‘Howard from Accounting’.

He introduced you to Namjoon just because he thought that it was hilarious that you and his brother were polar opposites. Jin didn’t even expect the two of you to get along with each other let alone fall in love, but life had a funny way of saying ‘fuck you and your expectations’ to Jin when he least expected it.

The only thing that he regrets is the fact that now he had to listen to both you and his brother whine about your sex life, or lack thereof after the two of you became parents. Being a mother was hard because there was no manual to tell you what was right or wrong when it came to your baby but the experience itself. When you first fed Chanmi softened shrimp in her meals and caused an allergic reaction; you cried for hours straight because you felt like you should’ve just known.

Namjoon was a good partner and an even better father because he was understanding. The first few months postpartum he respected the fact that you weren’t ready to show your body to him because of the way it changed after giving birth to Chanmi, and he never told you that you were in your head for feeling that way. He validated all your feelings through all the rough edges that you gave him when you were going through your own things.

You finally felt comfortable to get naked around Namjoon at the five-month mark where your sex drive returned to that of when you were in your early twenties and just begun knowing how to truly enjoy sexual intimacies with a partner, but a five-month-old baby didn’t allow for much intimacy with your hot ass husband either.

It sucked because Namjoon had always been broad and very dad-like, and after he officially became a father to Chanmi you just felt like salivating over him every waking second you got because … God … Namjoon was a gift from the God’s themselves. Whenever you saw the way he handled Chanmi with absolute gentleness and care you felt like dropping to your knees and sucking the soul out of him. It didn’t help that he wore his glasses every night when he tucked her into bed and read her Shakespeare because it would ‘help with development’. You loved your husband but he was a little excessive.

“Oh God stop drooling over my brother!” Jin grimaces when he sees the bedroom eyes you were shooting Namjoon from where the two of you were with Chanmi.

You sigh dreamily and lean against your palm as you check out Namjoon’s ass.

“I can’t help that your brother and my husband has an ass like that.” You click your tongue.

Chanmi giggles again and it’s like a bell chiming at your favourite cafe when you cuddle her closer, feeling comfort in her scent. She smelt just like home and bubbles.

“How about I give you a sibling, huh?” You whisper to Chanmi who just opens her mouth to babble. Jin on the other hand facepalms himself and sighs.

“You’re insufferable.”

“I’m horny.” You shrug.

“Correction: you’re insufferable on a daily basis but absolutely horrifying to deal with when you’re horny.” He sneers.

“I just need to bed him and I’ll be fine.” You drawl, as your husband who spent the better half of your conversation fixing the wine glass grins to himself with his dimples when he finally placed the last piece of glass back into place. He was so meticulous and cute for the wrong reasons.

“Jesus, stop …” Jin groans.

“Jesus would definitely tell me to go get that dick because I deserve it.” You pat yourself on the back and wince slightly when you smell the telltale signs of Chanmi’s poop permeating the air.

“Say … would Yoongi mind having Chanmi over your place for the weekend?” Jin recognizes the devious expression you have on your face and knows that there’s no way out of it.

“I don’t have a choice do I?” Jin sighs.

You shake your head.

“Nope. Cause’ I texted Yoongi yesterday and said he totally wants to see his niece. The baby bag is all ready to go and it’s in the nursery.” You cock your thumb to the room down the hallway and Jin thinks to himself of all the reasons why he shouldn’t have introduced you to his brother at all seven years back.

“It’s weird without her …” Namjoon frowns as the two of you stand in the nursery as if you were mourning the loss of your child. It felt a lot like it, though.

The two of you never spent more than a few hours away from Chanmi ever since she was born and it felt weird to not smell her vomit from the kitchen or hear her giggles as you cooked dinner. You missed Namjoon and the spark you had in the first years of your relationship but you also felt a little empty without Chanmi’s presence with you.

“I miss her.” You whine into Namjoon’s chest and he clutches you tightly as if to say that he mirrored your sentiment.

“Should we call them?” You look up at him with wide eyes and he smoothes the frown lines on your forehead and chuckles, offering a gentle kiss to your temples.

“We called fifteen minutes ago, remember?” He chides you gently.

You huff, “I just … it’s so quiet. Where are my baby babbles?” You pout.

Namjoon sighs and rubs his thumb comfortingly on your arm when you look around at the purple nursery with reminders of your daughter that wasn’t currently with you.

“Let’s enjoy what we have, okay love?” Namjoon offers, “I miss Chanmi too but I miss this too.”

You smile at him the way he first fell in love with you years ago and leans down to place a peck onto your lips.

“I miss having you all to myself.” He whispers against your lips and you shiver at the way his broadness is clouding all your senses.

“You always have me Joon.” You tell him in a tone as soft as his.

His chest rumbles when he laughs and you feel so warm in the comfort of your husband's arms and you felt it too. Besides the physical aspect of having sex with him, you missed holding him like this without a care in the world. Most of your cuddle sessions were left to the nights you slept next to each other in bed because the two of you were either exhausted with work or trying to care for Chanmi. It’s been a long time since you could just feel Namjoon’s presence with you.

“Besides … we can finally, you know …” He mumbles shyly into your hair and the devil horns that you hide most of the time reappear.

“What, Joon?” You smirk up at him, hands trailing slowly down his chest.

Your husband was so big that every room he walked into he basically commanded the attention of every single person that would come across him. That’s what happens when you’re six foot and broad like him. But you loved the fact that you were the only one that got to see the much softer side to him that he didn’t just show anyone. The fact that he was the CEO of his own company made his persona ever more intimidating than he actually was but you knew he was a huge softie on the inside.

The two of you were very different in many senses. From your personalities to the way you approached conflict. Namjoon was very diplomatic but you were anything but. He was truly the most empathetic and understanding person you’ve met in your entire life and you’ve seen a total of ten therapists in your teenage years. Namjoon was the balance that levelled your temper and uninhibited tendencies to always be the loudest person in every room. With every time you snarked at someone who pushed your buttons came Namjoon that placed a gentle hand on your back with a soft whisper of comfort.

In fact, most people thought the two of you would have never lasted. You heard those mean girls in college that made petty bets on the fact that you’d probably end up leaving him because you were too much of a bitch to deal with someone as kind as Namjoon. You remembered most of your fights being about your insecurities and how you always thought that Namjoon deserved better and with him telling you that you were the one for him.

Looking back, you laugh because the two of you were theoretically horrible for each other but exactly what the other needed. Namjoon needed someone free-spirited enough to manage his meticulous tendencies and you needed someone willing to see you for more than your erratic behaviour.

“What’s that pretty head of yours thinking about?” Namjoon hums when he realises you’re not paying attention to him anymore. He clasps your hands together to bring back your attention to him as you look up at him with eyes so full of love.

“Just reminiscing on the old days.” You tell him and he snorts.

“You say that as if we’re ancient.”

“You’re not fooling anyone. I heard your joints cracking when you bent down to pick up the strands of hair on the floor.” You tease.

“And who’s fault is it that I’m constantly bending over to pick up strands of hair because she sheds like a cat?” He retorts playfully.

“We’re both old.” You pout, playing with his fingers and admiring the glimmer of his wedding ring. You can’t believe you bagged a man like Namjoon.

“I still got it, though.” He adds thoughtfully and you raise an eye at his comment.

“Got what?”

“My game.” He wiggles his eyebrows at you suggestively and you burst out laughing because it was so on-brand for Namjoon to make a comment like that but blush when you got a little more touchy-feely with him when he least expected it.

“How about you show me then?” You whisper as you turn around to press yourself against his chest, ensuring that your cleavage was on full show to his line of vision when he looks down at you.

“Did I ever tell you how much I love your tits after the pregnancy?” He tells you breathily and you snort.

“So you didn’t like my tits before I gave birth to your child?”

He rolls his eyes and reaches his hands below your thighs to lift you up so that you could wrap your legs around his waist. The way he could effortlessly carry you and lift you up always made your heart and nether regions flutter because he was so big that he basically towered over you. Especially when he became a dad it was like his hot factor exploded exponentially. He basically became the epitome of a dilf.

“You and your mouth,” He tsks as he carries you out of the nursery and into your bedroom, “I just may need to shut you up.”

You whine into his chest before he tosses you down onto your mattress as he towers over you, looking over your body like you were the finest piece of art he’s ever seen. Namjoon always had ways to make you feel like a million bucks even though you were in an old camisole and your old college varsity sweatpants.

“Why don’t you do it then?” You tease back.

You were different from the women that Namjoon has been with prior to your seven-year-long relationship as most of them were pliant and quiet, and took whatever he gave to them. Don’t get him wrong, he loved playing the dominant character in bed but he also needed a brat to push his buttons and it was exactly what you were. Even if the two of you were so fundamentally different in personalities, the two of you were definitely sexually compatible.

“Flip over.” He demands and you whine before reluctantly turning over.

“I want to see you.” You whine petulantly.

You feel him rather than have him verbally respond to you because he delivers a tight slap to your ass as you gasp at the impact. He rubs his hands soothingly over your butt cheeks and squeezes them as he leans over your body, crowding your back with his body heat.

“Don’t be a brat ___.” He sneers into your ear and the moan is stuck on your throat when you feel him drag his hands all over your body until it reaches under your body to reach for your tits.

“Fuck. I love your tits.” He groans.

Namjoon’s hands immediately trail down your body until they reach the hem of your shorts and you wiggle your ass back at him teasingly. You hear him growl and you always knew that Namjoon was an ass man and your ass made him weak.

“Need I remind you that you’re in no position to tease, sweetheart?” He whispers into your ear and you feel the goosebumps erupt on the surface of your skin.

“Fuck. Please—Joon, touch me.” You gasp as you feel him pull down your shorts to be greeted with a cheeky pair of panties that left little to imagine of what hides underneath. Your husband had the talent of getting you obscenely wet without doing much and it’s proven again when you feel the uncomfortable ache between your legs as he flips your body over once again to get a good glimpse of your heaving body, as well as the stain on your panties.

His knuckles trace the inner side of your thigh carefully as he avoids the place you need him the most while you feel more wetness pool at your entrance. You’ve been deprived of his touch for way too long and that caused your sensitive reactions to anything that he did. You missed his fingers so much and having him so close yet so far away from your pussy was destroying your restraint.

“Namjoon p-please!” You cry when he finally cups your mound with his large palm.

He digs the heel of his palm straight into your clit as you arch your back and let out a low moan.

“So wet baby and I’ve barely done anything.” He taunts you with the low baritone of his voice.

“You make me so wet Joonie.” You pant when you feel him grind his palm into your clit some more, providing the satisfying friction that you’ve been craving.

The feeling doesn’t last long because he’s hastily removing your panties from your legs and tosses them somewhere over his shoulder. His face is directly in front of your pussy and you can’t help but feel flustered at the proximity of his breath to your hole. You’ve done this a million times before but the familiarity is slightly lost due to the time between the last and the present.

“Where’s the brat that couldn’t shut her mouth before, hm?” He mumbles and you feel every breath against your pussy. You squirm and feel his large hands wrap around your thighs, locking you into position so you wouldn’t be able to move.

“It’s just been so—ah—long,” You tell him breathily.

“Too long. Missed this pussy.” He says as a parting gift before he dives straight into your clit and begins to lap rounds over the hardened bud. You let out a high pitched moan at the pleasure he was providing you with just his tongue alone, and the way that he knew just where to focus on your clit with tense figure-eights.

“Ah—ah, fuck—Joon!” You groan as your hands wrap around his hair to tug at it. You feel him moan against your pussy, which sends vibrations up to your core and causes more wetness to pool at your centre.

Namjoon is relentless when he digs his hands harder into the meat of your thighs to prevent you from moving too much as he continues to suction on your clit, focusing his attention on it as much as he could. After years of being together, he just knew what you loved and this was it.

You liked it messy. Wet and fast, and Namjoon always gave it to you good. He pulls away momentarily so he could look up at you with a hooded gaze and you let out a high pitched whine when you see the glistening of his chin all the way up to his nose with the signs of your wetness staining him. His fingers run up your thighs teasingly and you shift under his ministrations only for him to smack your right thigh harshly.

“If you move you don’t get to cum.” He threatens you and you immediately still your body with the impossible threat.

You feel his fingers run up and down on your slit as he gathers all your wetness into one place, hovering slightly over your clit. You have to keep your whine to a minimum because Namjoon got real mean when he wanted to. But he was a good lover—so good.

Your hole is throbbing with a need to be filled, and your husband picks up on that immediately as he prods your entrance with the tip of his index finger. You attempt to grind down on him as you make eye contact with the dark eyes that threaten to take away your orgasm.

“I said. Don’t. Move.” He reminds you.

You whimper in silence as he teases your hole a little more before he decides to return home into the warmth of your walls. The moment that barrier was broken, you feel him go straight for the hook as he reaches his index finger all the way up until his knuckles. You hear Namjoon hiss under his breath as he begins prodding your walls until he finds—

“Fuck—there, Joon—ah!” You gasp, head tilting backwards when your husband finds your g-spot.

Namjoon smirks to himself and slides another finger in to hook them upwards into your g-spot, unmoving as he stills himself against the area; causing pure, unaltered pleasured to run through your veins. You’re vibrating and twitching all at once because you can’t control the involuntary response that comes with your husband's demon fingers that are causing every possible pleasurable feeling to run through your system.

You can’t keep the moan to yourself either as Namjoon looks at you with awe, but you miss it because your eyes are too busy being rolled to the back of your head at the way Namjoon skilfully thrusts into your pussy.

“H-Harder, p-please Joon—wanna cum so bad.” You moan and run your fingers through his hair to bring his mouth closer to your mound.

He lowly chuckles and shakes his head at your sex drive. And the next thing he does next nearly makes you cum on the spot.

The way he gathers his spit at the back of his throat was borderline pornographic as you see the way his throat revs up. He drops the glob of spit directly onto your clit and uses the hand that wasn’t in your pussy to spread the lubricant all over your slit. He purposefully grazes your clit but doesn’t apply enough pressure to make your head spin, but just enough for you to whine in want.

“Your pussy is so pretty love.” He coos, leaning into your mound to deliver kitten-licks to your clit, and the warmth of his tongue with the added addition of his fingers feels all too much.

“J-Joon!” You gasp when you feel him thrust his fingers rapidly in and out of your pussy that your body hitched up the surface of the bed. Every thrust was accompanied by the direct assault of his tongue on your clit as he presses down on the hardened bud with the purpose to drive you closer to your orgasm.

You were painfully close, and the precision of his fingers at your g-spot allows you to revel in the way the coil in your body is ready to snap, so close to release. Namjoon leans down so that his head is where you love him the most, between your thighs as he scores the final goal and presses his tongue against your clit.

“Oh my god Joon—fuck—s-so good—I’m gonna cum!” Your back arches off the bed uselessly because of the way that Namjoon uses his other hand to pin you down, arms wrapped tightly around your stomach.

“Come for me pretty girl.” He coos against your clit and the vibrations is what sends you over the edge.

He fucks his fingers into you as you orgasm, kitten licking your clit with just enough pressure for you to whine as you buck your hips up into his mouth involuntarily.

“Fuck. Baby—hurts.” You whine, pushing his head away from your pussy when the overstimulation gets to you.

Namjoon places one last teasing peck on your clit, which causes you to twitch and pinch his neck as he chuckles, dragging his hand up your body to bring you closer to him.

“Still got it, hm?” He whispers against the column of your neck as you roll your eyes.

“Just kiss me you fool.” You pull him in for a kiss, and your tongue immediately finds its place home in Namjoon’s mouth.

It’s probably because it’s been so long since the two of you could feel each other like this, without any rush to get it over with but with the freedom to enjoy each other’s bodies as much as you’d like. Namjoon’s hands were the truth of that as he trails his arms down the sides of your waist and tugs you closer to him by your hips until he reaches for the hem of your camisole to tug it off your body.

He grabs the mounds of flesh in his hands and squeezes them hard enough to cause another gush of wetness to drip down the side of your thighs and onto his sweatpants. Besides the fact that he delivered a mind-blowing orgasm to you, the stained wetness of his sweatpants from his pre-cum and your slick is enough for you to push him down onto the bed.

“I’m gonna suck your cock.” You kiss him on the lips one last time before you’re leaning down to palm him over his sweatpants.

He hisses above you and grabs the back of your neck lovingly that it has you snorting.

“You know if you’re laughing at my dick my feelings are going to be very hurt,” Namjoon says from above you.

“It’s just …” You shake your head and giggle as you clench your fist around the outline of Namjoon’s cock as he lets out a low breath of approval at your action.

“You used to shove my head onto your cock the moment I reached your pants and now you’re so soft.” You tease.

You hear his breath hitch and the grip on your neck tighten at your taunting words. The excitement already pooling in your stomach at the roughness that would ensue from your husband.

“Me? Soft? Is that what you want baby?” His tone is warning and you know he’s serious.

You shake your head as you look up at him with innocent eyes, a stark contrast to the hand that continues to fondle his balls over his sweatpants.

“Don’t be a bitch and take my cock out.” He sneers, and you smile to yourself cheekily—knowing you hit a sore spot.

You happily oblige as you pull Namjoon’s sweats down to be greeted with your husbands cock. The visual itself has your pussy throbbing, and every time you’re faced with it, you always burn with the prospect of his thick cock pounding into your pussy.

“Now suck it like a good girl.” He guides your head towards his dick but you’re proactive enough to fully start licking at his tip, tongue teasing his slit as you hear him let out a low groan.

Your eyes are locked on his figure, as his head is thrown back. You want to grind on the sheets but you know that would delay him fucking you so you decide against it. But that didn’t mean you couldn’t appreciate the visual that your husband was giving you from where you were.

Namjoon had always been handsome. But there’s something about seeing him throw his head back in pleasure because of you that has your stomach churning with pride. You’d shamelessly admit that you were more on the possessive side, purely because you knew there were many men and women out there who desired Namjoon in more ways than one; and you didn’t like sharing one bit.

You spit onto his dick as your hands worked the rest of the length that you didn’t engulf in your mouth as you hollowed your cheeks to create a suction. Your tongue begins to tease the underside of his shaft, the way he likes the most and you know he’s enjoying your focus there because the hand that grips your neck is now tightly clutching your hair in a fist.

“Fuck. That’s it, baby.” He groans.

Motivated by the praise, you sink deeper, hands resting on his thick thighs as you push yourself until your nose reaches his pelvis. You’ve taken his cock like a champion on many occasions, and you can only thank him for that like the numerous times he had to guide you down on his cock were probably the only reason why your tiny throat could welcome his thick girth.

The sounds of you chocking on his dick was a lot for Namjoon, mainly because he couldn’t get enough of his wife but also because he’s been waiting out to bust a nut down your throat—actually your pussy—so long that he can’t handle the onslaught of pleasure your mouth brings him.

“Baby—baby,” He tugs you off his cock and the redness around your cheeks with the tears that pool at your waterline is enough to make his heart soar. Even though you were nasty in bed, he loved every single part of your forwardness.

“Your mouth is amazing but I need to cum in your pussy.” He tells you.

You whine at his declaration and allow him to manhandle you until you were face down ass up, ass pressed tightly against his pelvis as you grind your wet cunt over the hardness of his dick.

“Fuck—you’re so wet, baby. You like sucking my cock?” He growls, arms reaching around your stomach to pull your body flush against his chest.

When you reach your hand to wrap around his head to balance yourself, you see a view of your bodies together in your mirror. Courtesy of when you first moved in and due to you and Namjoon’s egocentric tendencies of wanting to see you guys fucking each other.

“S-So much Joon.” You garble.

His hand reach down to cup your mound and digs his palm into your clit as you grind down against his hand. You feel him loosely trace over your clit to gather your wetness into his hand to lather it over his dick.

“I’m gonna fuck you so good.” He whispers in your ear when he lines his cock against your entrance.

You whine, excitement erupting inside of you—until he finally slides it.

It definitely takes you by surprise because your husband was big. And the fact that you haven’t had his dick in you for months made it much more of a pleasant surprise when he bottoms out completely in one swift thrust of his hips, which causes your body to fall forward as your hands grip the sheets beneath you.

“Fuck. This tight pussy’s mine, right?” He growls.

You nod your head into the sheets as he begins with a few experimental thrusts as you adjust to the slight, yet pleasurable, sting in your lower half.

Until you squeeze his hand on your hip to give him the go, Namjoon settles for slow thrusts into your pussy, but it’s enough to prod at your pleasurable spot because not only is Namjoon smart, kind, funny, handsome and ridiculously a great father—he is phenomenal at sex. Probably why he knocked you up on the night of your honeymoon with your bundle of joy.

Namjoon begins snapping his hips into yours relentlessly like a man starved, and starved he was. He’s missed the wet heat of your pussy; and God did he love your daughter—but he missed this—your pussy.

“F-Fuuuuu—” You’re heaving.

Namjoon continues to thrust into your pussy, angling his hips upwards so that he’d reach places deeper than ever as your eyes roll to the back of your heart in pleasure.

“Fuck—this—tight—pussy—” His words follow the sharpness of his thrusts and you don’t even know where to grab because all your sensations are heightened, especially when Namjoon reaches a hand down to your clit to begin rubbing it vigorously.

“Nam—Joon!”

You’re so wet that the squelch of his thrusts is echoed in your bedroom, and the only thing you hear besides that is your loud moans and the heavy breathing coming from Namjoon.

It’s only when he plants his knees firmly into the mattress and brings your hips to meet his thrusts is when you feel your pussy clench uncontrollably around his cock as you wail out his name.

“Fuck, baby—you’re clenching—so—hard.” He groans, pushing his hips deeper into your pussy.

“Love your cock,” You moan, “Fuck—Joon, please—fuck your cum into me.”

“Yeah?” He grits his teeth and flips your over effortlessly, dragging your leg over his shoulder as he begins pounding into you even harder as he admires the way your face contorts in pleasure.

“Yeah.” You nod your head like a sex-crazed maniac because your husband was just too good with his hips.

“Gonna give you another baby.” He whispers when he leans down into your face as your eyes widen at his declaration. Your pussy reacts too, gushing out even more wetness as it becomes tighter around Namjoon’s cock.

“Fuck. You like that idea? A sibling for Chan’?” He grinds his pelvis into your clit as his words spur your second orgasm for the night on.

“No shit?” You gasp when he revs up his spit in the back of his throat, looking at your mouth invitingly.

“Yeah,” He says breathlessly, and you open your mouth to welcome his tongue when he drops the glob of spit down your throat.

You whine, feeling your orgasm coming so closely.

“Fuck Joon—I’m gonna cum.” You gasp.

You feel Namjoon’s hips stutter and you know he’s coming soon too.

“Me too baby.” He tells you while giving you the set of most adoring eyes ever. Even as he’s fucking you into the next dimension, Namjoon makes you feel so utterly loved and whole that you can’t imagine spending the rest of your life with anyone else.

He snaps his hips the hardest he’s ever done throughout the entire night, and you feel your pussy throb so much; signalling to you and Namjoon that your release was right there.

“Baby—I’m gonna—I’m gonna c-cum,” You grab onto his shoulder to pull him closer to you.

He welcomes it and leaves open mouth kisses onto your mouth as he fucks into you like a mad man.

“Cum.”

That’s all it takes for you to reach an explosive orgasm, one that quite literally causes you to blank out for a second because while Namjoon’s hot cum spurts into your pussy short after you came, he feels your body go limp in his embrace; causing his eyes to widen.

Only until you’re blinking up at him dazedly is when he holds you to his chest, as you feel his chest rumble when he chuckles.

“Baby … I thought you died.” He cards a hand through your hair and you smile at him, stupidly in love.

“If I die because of your dick I’d be happy.” You grin at him cutely. And he scoffs at the way you look so cute after you’ve been fucked to hell and back.

“My horny little monster,” He flicks your forehead as you bring him close to your chest, his dick still settled inside of you. But there was a sort of intimacy that you couldn’t quite put words to, but welcomed the gesture nevertheless.

“Were you serious?” You ask after a while of sharing a few intimate pecks to each others’ lips.

He finally pulls out to roll on his side as he reaches over to pull your close to his chest. He raises an eyebrow at your expression when you feel his cum leak out of you.

“God you really didn’t jack off recently, did you?” You ask.

He pecks you on the nose as he quickly tugs clean boxers over his legs and disappears into your on-suite. You sigh to yourself dreamily, thinking of how lucky you were to be with someone as loving and compassionate as Namjoon was.

You weren’t necessarily unlucky when it came to your relationships prior to him, but there would always be dealbreakers that caused splits to be more bitter than neutral. Namjoon was the only man in your life that you could speak to without fearing any judgement from because he wasn’t like that. He knew how to make you feel wanted and also how to want yourself, all while being your best friend and partner.

When he returns, he returns with a damp cloth and immediately begins cleaning up the mess between your thighs, even as he cheekily mentions how there was more from where that came from as you slap him on the shoulder.

Once he ensures he’s satisfied, he tosses the cloth into the laundry basket and grabs a big t-shirt of his to slip it over your body. You hum in satisfaction as his scent overwhelms you, even more so when he tugs you close to his body and he looks at you with all the love in the world.

“You asked if I was serious earlier?” He repeats your question and you nod your head looking up at him.

“Yeah.” You let out a breathy smile when he leans down to pull your face towards his own as you admire all the freckles and pores on his skin, fingers tracing loosely over the wrinkles that come with age.

“I know it’s sudden but … I’ve been thinking about our family and—I want our family to become bigger.” He tells you like it’s a secret. You know he’s been mulling over it for quite a while because he looks a little unsure of himself, but all you can do is smile widely at him.

“Really?” You ask, playing with the hair on the back of his neck when you feel his fingers trace over the skin on your back.

“Of course. I love you, and I love Chanmi. I’ve always wanted kids and you brought the best gift in my life to me and … I can’t explain how happy I am when I’m with the two of you.” He smiles at you gently.

You don’t know if it’s because he just fucked you so good, or was it because you were lovesick, but your eyes water because Namjoon was Namjoon.

“But—if you’re not ready then I understand and we can—”

“Yes.” You interrupt him.

His eyes widen as you see the excitement begin to pour into his irises.

“Wait—really?” He asks innocently.

You nod your head and kiss him on the lips softly, no rush as he returns the gesture, holding you close onto his chest where you feel the best in his arms.

“Yes really. I want what you want. And I think it’s about time Chanmi gets a sibling, no?” You tease.

He groans like you’re unreal as he buries his head into the crook of your neck as you caress him gently. Namjoon was really just like an oversized baby and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“When?” He asks.

You tease your fingertips down to his chest and offer him a knowing look.

“Now?” You feign indifference but you can see the wide grin he sports on his face.

“Fuck. Don’t say that. I think my dick is going to fall off at how hard I fucked you just now,” He whined.

“You’re getting old,” You massage his shoulders as he sighs.

“I am …” He acknowledges, “But we’ll grow old together, right?”

The prospect of a future of unknowns with Namjoon only makes your heart bloom. You nod your head, not another word need to be uttered as he holds you in his arms, excited for what’s to come.

[bonny-kookoo]

Rabbit Boy | JJK x Reader | 🔞

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Wordcount: 10.3k (Long)

Genre: Romance, Friends/strangers to lovers, Smut, BDSM because I'm making that a genre now

Tags/Warnings: BDSM themes (please I'm begging you stop reading my shit if it makes you uncumfortable), mentions of restrainment, light shibari, edging, orgasm denial (very mild), Subspace, Domspace because yes thats a thing, Dom/sub dynamics, Biting, Oral (m and f receiving), riding, and not the horseback kind if you know what I mean, protected sex yes, we love an organized household, there's just so much sweet filth istg

Summary: Jungkook is wild, untamed, and doesn't really commit to anyone for long. But maybe, you're his only exception in this world. Maybe, you're really that perfect partner he's been looking for.

Jungkook likes to think of himself as an artist.

Sure, if people knew exactly what the young man does in his freetime (or as a side job, don't judge, we all want to make money out of our hobbies stop lying to yourself), they would surely look at him differently.

But he's an artist, nonetheless.

Technically, Jungkook also doesn't need to do what he does simply for the money. No, his main job pays very well- considering that he's one of the top elite in his genre of games. He doesn't just merely play and win a game; Jungkook, just like most things he touches, claims complete ownership of the match he's fighting. It's a well known fact that he's someone who likes things for himself. He loves control, craves to lead, and hates to be belittled.

Oh and yeah- financially, investing in an indie-game three years back had also done his bank account some good.

Now, at an age where he can be fully considered a man, and not a boy anymore, he craves control in different aspects of life- and love.

Jungkook has a problem however.

He's wild.

Not in the way one might think he is (although several people could argue that yes, that's also the case in bed..) but generally. He loves to control- but he hates to be tied down.

And a mindset like that doesn't work well with relationships.

He's had them before, don't get him wrong. He's had numerous in the past, but they all either broke apart because he would hold that particular desire back, making him antsy and moody, or he would welcome his partners into his world, and become uncomfortable with the way things would progress.

No, he doesn't want to experiment. He knows exactly what he wants, and if that means he's 'close-minded' and a bad person, then so be it for him.

He never liked the constant company in his apartment anyways.

"Ah, I've seen her before. She's usually a regular for Yoongi though." Taehyung says, checking a name for Jungkook, who's doodling on a napkin while he waits for his new appointment to show up. "I see. I forgot that Yoongi took some days off recently- that's probably why she's now under your hand." He explains, and Jungkook huffs, his blonde hair tickling his cheek.

"So I'll have to adjust? I mean, Yoongi's style is pretty different from mine." The young man says, not looking up. He simply continues his little sketch of braided hair, while the lanky guy behind the counter clicks away on his laptop.

"Probably? I can't check the logs since they're private, but from what I know Yoongi only did the usual with her." he explains, shrugging as he looks at his friend and colleague. "I can re-schedule her to Hoseok if you want?" He asks, and Jungkook, after finishing his drawing, lets the pen fall and stretches.

"Yeah, that would probably be best. Wouldn't know what to do if she drops- rather not have him rip my head off, thanks." He says, before he gets up.

"Ah- you're still coming over tonight right? Y/N said she's gonna cook for us." He says, and Jungkooks body shivers a little.

Your name is nothing new to him, but the reaction to it most certainly was. You're a friend of Yoongi and Hoseok, having joined in on their gaming nights a few months ago after Yoongi had insisted you couldn't stay alone on a christmas day. Jungkook had never really asked why you were alone in the first place, but he had never really cared much for it either. Sure, you were an absolute gem to look at; technically absolutely his type, but he had early on decided not to pursue anything at all with you. He knew friendship wouldn't stay friendship with you, his own hunger way too large to simply be satiated by platonic gestures-

and he was also sure you wouldn't be able to handle him, truly. The conversation with Jimin, one of your best friends, had changed nothing about that. Because he didn't know you well enough to quite know if you were only bark and no bite- or if you were genuinely craving the same things he did.

But most recently, there had been a change in his opinion on you. Because he had seen you, come out of this place, out of Yoongis studio.

You knew about all of this- and you were still around.

Nothing had changed.

Now, of course he had instantly poked holes into the poor guy about if he had ever played with you before- and the answer he had gotten, had made him even more interested and antsy to get closer to you.

Because while you trusted Yoongi with everything you had, he had never done anything with you. You had simply been interested in watching a scene unfold- and had told him that you were definitely interested in participating. The reason Jungkook couldn't ask you directly was a clear one-

You were majorly intimidated by him, to the point of, he had never really had a proper conversation with you. Partially, he had to admit, because he himself didn't want to involve himself too much with you.

He’d always asked himself; wouldn’t you be even more distant and reserved with him if you knew this side of him? Sure, you always joked around that he probably tied his girls up and edged them until they cried- but did you know that he genuinely enjoyed these things?

Relationships for him were mere covers to call the arrangements he had with the girls that came and went in his life in a constant changing matter. Deep down, no one night stand could satisfy his most carnal desires, and he was very well aware of that. But he rather took what he could get and lived a fever dream for a few moments than stay on his own simply because his idea of pleasure and sex was not the norm.

No, he refused to deny himself that.

Maybe it was because he’d always lived a rather lavish life- with his parents well off and his own career skyrocketing he never really had any worries like you have had in the past. For some odd reason, while looking at the soft red rope in his hands, his thoughts suddenly went astray; he knew he could give you the stability you oh so craved, in every way shape and form. You were a diamond simply waiting to be perfected- you had so much potential, knowing that you were secretly wandering around the same paths as he did made him even more frustrated.

The hints were there, they were obvious; from the way you had sighed out in bliss when he’d teasingly pulled your hair just hours ago, to the sinful confessions he’d heard that night when he overheard you and jimin by accident. Of course he’d maybe wasted a thought or two of you underneath him to humor him once or twice- but now with the rope in his hands, his mind immediately began painting pictures of it against your skin. Would you enjoy it? And what if he took your sight, or only bound your hands? What if he denied you to cum, or if he took you from behind, grabbing your hair and pushing down your spine to make it arch so prettily- never with the intend to hurt, of course. He knew he’d have to tame you first, make you submit, but then again, he loved the challenge.

You made even the idea of touching fun.

He wouldn't even have to undress you to fully get himself worked up, he was sure of that. Only seeing you bow to his very command would be enough to satisfy him. Of course, over the course of time he would lead you deeper and deeper into his rabbit hole, but he would take it slow for you.

So, with a smile, and a wave of his hand, he walked past the girl he knew had been his appointment- grinning at Taehyung. "Of course I'll be there."

He wouldn't dare miss a night with you.

You were stressing. A little.

Maybe.

Maybe a lot.

Everything would've been fine if they guys would've all come over. But due to the bad weather, and Taehyungs bad habit of never properly fixing his god-forsaken dumpster of a car, only one of them would be able to make it. And of course the one had to be Jeon Jungkook.

Just great.

Now, it wasn't like you didn't like the guy, no way. The problem was more, that he was on the exact opposite of that spectrum. You had a major crush on him, which felt like the plot to a really bad drama show you would watch drunk at night- and in a way, it really felt like one too. Because you were pretty sure, he didn't even know your name.

But oh well- apparently he knew more than that. More specifically, your phone number. And it had scared the shit out of you at first to receive a message from him because how the hell did he get your number, but then again you remembered that one of your connections was Kim Taehyung- and everyone knew what he knew.

It was the doorbell that ripped you out of your skin almost.

You didn't even change, deciding any effort would be too late anyways; and you were still heavily confused in the first place why the fuck he would come over alone, even though you two had never exchanged much more than a friendly hello and goodbye. But there he was, as you opened the door- soft, white hoodie and ripped jeans, a bit damp from the rain outside as you let him inside.

He didn't move.

"Uh-" You started, but he just looked at you, friendly as ever, although a teasing glint in his eye made you frown a bit.

He thought it was cute.

"You didn't tell me to come in." He said, and you blinked once, twice, before your brain had properly restarted.

"Oh uh- come in?" You said, again, moving a bit to the side so he could walk in- which he still didn't. "Jungkook come on now its fucking cold-!" You whined, and he laughed, finally stepping inside. Had he always been like that? Could very well be the case, after all, you had never truly paid much attention to his behavior before.

"Thanks for letting me come over." He said, and you watched him as he untied his boots. "I had nothing else to do- and also, I didn't want you to waste any food, considering Tae said you cooked for us." He explained, before he got up again from his half kneeling position, boots now standing next to your significantly smaller shoes.

"Ah, it would've been fine, you guys don't have to feel bad." You waved off, smiling. "I was about to stop cooking anyways when Jimin had texted me, but well, then you did and uhm.." You drifted off, noticing how you were suddenly waiting for him to lead the way.

In your own apartment.

What the hell?

If he noticed however, he didn't show it. He simply smiled, and moved his hands inside the front pocket of his hoodie. "Ah, thanks. I appreciate it, really." He said, and you smiled at him as well, walking towards the main area of your apartment. It was small, very small compared to his own, but he enjoyed the feeling of it. Everything around him reminded him of you, in a way; from the pictures taped to the walls, to the stickers on your fridge. It all held a piece of you in it. "Your apartment is really nice, by the way." He commented, and you turned around, before getting plates and cutlery to bring inside the living room.

"Ah, right, it's your first time here." You said. "Thanks- the living room is right around the corner there, you can just sit down and I'll bring everything there." You explained, and he smiled, nodding without arguing.

You liked that.

Typically, there would've been this awkward 'oh no let me help you', but Jungkook didn't seem to dwell on it much, letting you do your thing instead of butting in and making things weird. He simply walked where you had directed him, sitting down on the couch as he went to place a blanket to the side. His fingers moved over the fabric for a moment, noticing how everything on the couch, including the pillows, were made of that same, soft material.

Interesting.

"Oh- you can just put that to the side, sorry I forgot to clean that up." You said, putting the food onto the table as he just smiles again. He waits for you to sit down as well before you turn up the TV volume a little, nerves finally setting in as you notice there's almost nothing you can talk to him about. "This is awkward." You comment, and he chuckles at that swallowing his bite as he looks at you.

"Doesn't have to be." He states, before he turns his body a bit more into your direction; a visible sign that he wants a conversation. "Tae has never mentioned what you do for a living." He states, an unasked question of his. He lets you decide if you want to take it as one or leave it as a statement- it makes you feel nice, in a way.

"Ah uh.. it's really boring, so I guess I never really talk about it either.." You say, and he tilts his head a little, a silent urging for you to continue. You feel insignificant next o him and his job however. He's superior to you in any way, and you don't want him to feel pity or laugh at you for your job. "I uh.. I'm a programmer for a.. pretty unknown game studio." You say, body almost shrinking in on itself as you wait for his reaction. Much to your surprise however, he makes a sound that's purely surprise, as he swallows his bite with a bit of urgency.

"Fuck really?! That's so cool though!" He argues, brows furrowed a bit as he playfully accuses you with his next words. "Indie or not, a programmer is the main force of any game. Did you work on any games I might know of?" He asks, eyes sparkling as he realizes he had finally found something to bond with you over.

"Uh.. 'Rabbit Boy' was our best hit until now.." You say, still a bit shy, but you're also a tad more confident now. His reaction is either well-staged, or he's genuinely interested in what you do.

"I played it I think. It was a bit short, but I loved the mechanics." He says, and before he can quite stop himself, his hand has already reached out to you, running over your hair as he praises you like second nature. "Wuah, so smart!" He says, before he gets a reaction he wouldn't have thought he'd get from shy-you.

Because you playfully shove him, your socked feet pushed against the side of his thigh as you giggle at him.

Interesting, again.

Now, Jimin has actually told him about this before. How you were anything but the shy girl when you were around people you knew and trusted. He had believed it- to an extend- because he had also thought that maybe you were like that to prove your spot between those guys. As the only girl, you easily got thrown under the bus, so you had to somehow own your spot in the midst of your circle of friends.

However, it seemed like you were truly just a brat, hiding behind that innocent facade of yours. A barking dog, with every intent to bite if needed.

And Jungkook knew, he'd love to tame you, show you your spot, and make you his prey.

The trashy movie your watching bores you, in a way. Jungkook has noticed this already, having taken note of your feet wiggling around, your teeth nibbling on the inside of your cheek, as you rest your cheek on your hand, elbow resting on the side of the couch.

“I don’t know why she’s so hesitant.” You mutter, pouting as you slump into the couch- uncaring that the side of your body now leans against his own. He feels your warmth- and for some reason it brings him comfort to notice that you’re seemingly growing more at ease. “I mean, it’s what she’s into, right?” You say, brows furrowed as you watch the screen.

“It’s not that simple.” Jungkook explains, trying to not make it obvious that he’s not necessarily talking about the movie. “Some men like to you know.. fight for a partner. Impress them. Win them over.” He explains, and he can feel you shift a little- until your head raises a bit, watching him as he watches you; gazes locked, and you can’t look away. You’re shy, you’re growing restless, but his eyes are like magnets; there’s no way you can avert your gaze.

“And.. you?” You ask, voice not loud at all, as if you don’t even notice you’re saying it. He loves that- loves the fact that you’re slowly letting him closer- not only physically.

“I like to earn my spot in their lives.” He states, and your mind suddenly begins to spin. You’ve always seen him as someone who doesn’t care much about emotions or feelings, or relationships for that matter. And maybe he doesn’t- maybe he just says this because he knows your weak spots. But the way his words fall into your ears makes you believe him. “I like to see my partner thrive; I love to see them grow. And..” he says, boldly deciding to slowly reach out his hand that was placed on the back of the couch- his fingers running through your hair, only brushing through, never pulling (no matter how much you’re craving it secretly). “I love to see them let go.” He humms out, and there’s a sudden shiver down your back, one that he definitely notices.

This is it. This is where you’ll let him touch you, let him wreck you, let him ruin you. You lean in closer, and so does he, but just when your lips are about to touch, he smiles gently- a warm affectionate gesture that you’ve never seen from him. And with it being directed at you, it’s even more meaningful- but it’s all about his next move, the way his inked fingers trace your cheek, before he speaks.

“You’re not ready yet.”

And with that, he turns back to the TV.

You huff, and it's the first time you know exactly what you're doing. You knew from Yoongi what Jungkook did in his freetime- you knew that this stuff was his expertise. Defeated, you looked down towards your knees, as your thoughts start to grow more and more frustrated. He probably didn't even see you like that, having only visited you out of pity, and not because he wanted to see you.

You were probably already friendzoned, and he was too nice to outright say it into your face. It made your emotions turn sour as the situation grew more and more awkward for you.

"What're you thinking about?" He asks, and you don't answer. What was there to say anyways? You really didn't want to have this weird conversation where he would tell you that oh yeah you're a nice girl, but he's not the right guy, the usual stuff you've already heard time and time again. "Y/N." He says, his voice dropping a little, but you only chew on the inside of your cheek again, eyes moving towards the TV screen. You didn't want to talk- you just hoped he would now sigh and get up, leaving so you could forget about all of this. You could maybe fake being sick for the next week or so to avoid him, yeah, that would be enough time to gloss over this entire situation. But he only clicks his tongue, hands suddenly moving your legs as he moves your body to face him.

Looking at his face is your first mistake.

His eyes are dark and almost angry, irritated as he looks as you. His jaw is clenched, and his hands stay on your knees for a moment, before he's sure enough that he has your attention. Only then does he speak, his voice nowhere near as soft and light as it had been before. "I know what you're thinking, and I don't like it." He says, and that's when you make your second mistake.

"Can we not right now? You don't know shit." You say, and he stares you down for a moment, until his head tilts a slight bit, eyes growing predatory as the corners of his lips tilt upwards. It resembles a small smile, yes, but it's not meant to be one. No, the first thing you have to think about is a wolf snarling at you, ready to put his packmate into their place for acting out.

It makes your spine tingle.

"Hm, maybe, but we can be classy about it, no?" He asks, and you scoff, trying to move your legs away from him, as he scans you.

At this point, he can see clearly that you're testing him.

So he gets up promptly, moving you around so you're standing in front of him. His inked hand finds your hair, gripping without mercy as he pulls your head back, your gaze now forced to stay on his as he calmly speaks. "You think I'm not into you like that- and you're as wrong as you could ever get." He says, biting his tongue as to not let a petname slip. He'd love to use them, but he knows that it's not yet time. That would be foul play, in a way; he doesn't want to seduce you.

He wants to make you understand.

"Trust me when I say I'd love to just throw you over my legs to spank that attitude out of you right now." He explains, and you whine- not in pain, but simply as a reaction to his confession. "But you don't know what you're getting yourself into." He continues, and pulls a bit to interrupt your next words. You know that you can get free any second you want to- but for some reason, there's no urge to do so. "You think of this as some game to play, you think of yourself as someone who can take all of it at once, but you don't even get the simplest and most important things about this entire thing." You swallow, as you stay still, finally giving up your fight as he relaxes the grip he still has on you. "Even now, it's not me controlling this situation. Its you." He says, letting go of you as his hands rest on your cheeks, eyes searching for any clues of discomfort. Only when he finds none, does he continue. "I will only ever have as much control over you as you're willing to give to me." He smiles again, this time, warm and comforting. "If you're really willing to do this, we will do this right. You'll have to trust me first, and I'll have to get to know you fully first, before anything else happens. Understood?" He asks.

And you nod.

"Do you know what you just agreed to?" He chuckles, and, shyly, you shake your head.

"See?" He grins, breaking skincontact with you. "You're not ready yet."

His brows furrow when he sees you sitting on the counter, Taehyung talking to you. "What're you doing here?" He asks, and you pout, as Taehyung moves away, not wanting to get involved into anything this time. "Stop that face. We talked about this last week, why're you here now?" He asks, and you tilt your head innocently.

"Maybe I'm here for Yoongi?" You say, and his eyes grow darker for a second, before he composes himself.

"Good try, but he's still off work." He states, and you deflate a bit.

"I just.. wanted to see, I guess." You say, and he smiles a bit impishly.

"Oh? I mean, I have a scene in twenty minutes.." He asks, and internally, you cringe. No, you don't want to see him screw or even touch another woman in the ways you secretly want him to touch you instead. No, you're technically here to maybe talk him into show you at least a little bit. But it doesn't seem like he'll cave in anytime soon, so you sigh out.

"Okay, okay, I'll see you around, I guess." You say, hopping down from the counter before you take a step towards the exit.

"Ah well, I'll drive you home then." He states, and you grow confused as he leans against the counter. "Seeing as my scheduled appointment wants to leave, I have time off." He states, and you skin tingles. "Come on now, before I change my mind." He states, as he walks you outside again, leading you towards his car.

"I didn't mean to turn up so.. I don't know. Sorry." You said, and he gets into the drivers seat, shaking his head.

"I can understand you, trust me." He says, as he starts the engine and drives off. "If you're okay with it, I'd like to get something from my apartment, and then drive to yours." He says, and you tilt your head.

"Why not to the studio, or your place?" You ask, and he nods.

"While those are places I feel comfortable, they're unfamiliar to you. It's best if we start in a place that's comforting and gives you a sense of security." He states, and you nod.

Jungkook, in your eyes, never really seemed as mature as he's acting in those moments. It's as if he switches every time you two change topics; any time this particular one comes up, his mood changing into a serious one. Now, you're not stupid, you know the risks- and of course you had somewhat done your research online about the damages that could occur during all of this. And there's also the not too little chance it really isn't something for you after all- and in a way, that scares you. Because you want jungkook, but what if you don't want.. this?

Instead of voicing that out, you simply keep quiet as he gets out the car, and inside again after fetching what looks like an overnight bag. "You're staying over?" You ask, and he simply throws it on to the backseat.

"Maybe. We'll see." He says, and you don't question him as he drives. "Let's get something to eat. What're you craving?" He asks, as he keeps his attention on the road. He notices how you seem to think, already able to practically see the gears turning inside your head. "Don't think about what I could want. I asked what you want." He says, calmly, and so soft, that you simply let your words out.

"Tae usually get's me food.." You start, and Jungkook nods, as if understanding. You watch him smile a little.

"Let's get some junk food and eat it in the car." He simply states, and you nod, happy that he seemingly really did get what you were trying to say. For you, things like these were almost like rituals- like you and tae getting random icecream just to hurry home every time to not have it melt.

Maybe this would become a memory only for you and Jungkook.

"You're nervous." Jungkook says, speaking out what's obvious. You don't know what he'll do, you're confused whats in his bag- you're nervous, just like he said. "Why is that?" He asks, casually sitting on your bed with you. He had earlier told you not to panic-clean it; he was not there to be impressed. He was simply a visitor for now, nothing more, nothing less. You shrugged. There were a lot of reasons you were nervous. "If you want this to work, I need to have proper communication with you. Guessing will get me nowhere." He says, but his voice is not upset. He's simply informing you.

"I.. don't know what you'll do?" You say, and He smiles, sitting more comfortably, as he shows you his open hands.

"I'm not gonna do anything for the moment." He tells you, and you shrug.

"But wasn't that the plan?" You ask him.

"What would you want me to do then?" He asks instead, not answering your question. He's testing you, he want's to know if you really are aware of everything. He's also not only asking you about what you want him to do to you- but with you, as well. He was unsure if you wanted to romantically involve yourself with him, or simply explore something new at his side.

He's afraid he'd be okay with either, just because its you.

"Are you going to tie me up?" You ask, and Jungkook grins, before he laughs. You're growing shy, unsure, and he instantly makes sure you know he's simply laughing about what you said, not about you. His hand holds yours- and it's weirdly reassuring.

"No, although I can imagine you looking very pretty in that position." He says. "No, come here." He says, lays down on the bed, and you stay where you are, with reasonable distance between you two. "I want you to come as close to me as you feel comfortable. Don't force it- take your time. I'm not expecting anything, please remember that." He tells you calmly, not looking at you to give you mental distance from him as well. His eyes are actually closed, his body relaxed.

You don't move for a moment. You want to test how long he can really play this patient role- but after around five or ten minutes, he's still not moving. He's not even saying anything, and you're unsure if he's asleep or not.

There's only one way to find out.

You carefully lay down a little away from him, on your side, simply looking at him. It's weird to see him like that; you've always imagined him to be a very dominant and demanding person, from what you've heard and seen of him. But Jungkook doesn't feel like any of the guys you've been with; he also doesn't feel like Taehyung, or Yoongi, or Hoseok.. Jungkook, weirdly enough, feels comfortable. He's relaxed, and laid back, and still has that slight glint of power over you.

You move closer, your curiosity getting the best of you as scenes and pictures of him holding you fill your head. Is he even a cuddler? You can't imagine him being all soft and sweet for gestures like that, but then again, you didn't really think you'd ever be in a situation like this either. Maybe you were judging a book by its cover.

He smells nice- that's one of the first things you notice once you get closer. One of his arms is stretched out to the side- his tattooes visible, but partially hidden by his sweater sleeve. You want to look at them, so you test the waters- by touching his arm, just a small poke with your finger. You can see the corners of his lips twitch; he's definitely awake. You move his arm a little, inside facing you as you get a detailed look at his artworks. They're detailed, they fit him, the dark Ink a stark contrast to his skin.

His sweater seems soft.

You slowly lay down again, your head resting on his biceps as you simply lay for a moment.

This is nice.

You feel more and more bold with every minute that passes, not even minding the way he sometimes moves around. You're growing at ease, so much so, that you simply throw all hesitation out of the window, and cuddle up to him. one of your hands is on his chest, while your head rests ontop of the inside of his shoulder.

This is really nice.

"Are you falling asleep?" He asks, voice not loud at all, as his arm moves, palm resting on your forearm as he holds you. You don't mind it- you feel relaxed enough to really actually do fall asleep- so you nod. "That's good." He tells you.

"But didn't you bring stuff to try?" you ask, and Jungkook nods.

"We got time. A small nap is always a good idea." He tells you, and you simply nod- making him smile.

He's glad.

Because by falling asleep on him like that, you don't even know how much you've complimented him at all. You're relaxed enough around him, comfortable enough to let him close to you in a vulnerable state such as sleep. It makes him wonder how far you'd let him go- would you let anyone get so close so quickly? A sudden rush of protectiveness curses through his body, fills him up, as he swears he can't let you go now. No, what if someone else gets you like this? What if someone takes advantage of your open mind like that? He doesn't even want to imagine.

Jungkook really has it bad.

You slowly wake up to a bit of weight on your face. "jungkook what're you doing?" you giggle, and he chuckles as well as he takes the hand away from over your eyes. He looks well rested, with his eyes still not fully open.

"Nothing." He says. "Just teasing." He says, but of course, nothing he does is just random teasing. Everything he does is calculated- it's to test you, to study you, to make sure he gets to know you. "Are you hungry?" He asks instead.

"Not for food."

He has to let that process for a moment, until he laughs. He's really got it with you, he thinks, as he suddenly moves, eyes dark, while he's now ontop of you, his hands holding your wrists. Expecting you to look surprised, he finds none of that however. It intrigues him, the way you don't seem to be nervous or fearful at all. It makes him wonder what you'd really do to him if he was to advance in ways he wanted to. "Careful, sweetheart." He says, and your eyes sparkle with a silent challenge.

"Or what?"

His grip gets a bit tighter at that, eyes a bit darker. "Someone's eager." He says lowly. "Don't you think you're biting off more than you can chew right now?" He asks, before he clicks his tongue, slowly falling into his own headspace. He knows however not to let himself slip. "Give me a random word." He asks, demands, and you say whatever finds your mind in that moment.

"Bunny." You say.

He raises his eyebrow for a second, but doesn't question it. "I want you to say that, loud and clear, as soon as you feel uncomfortable." He lectures you seriously. "It doesn't matter what it is. Physically, or mentally, or if you simply don't want me to continue because. I need you to tell me that you will say it." His gaze is intense, and you nod. "I promise you; I'll never get mad, or upset, or angry, or disappointed with you. My ego isn't worth your safety." He humms out at the end, and your eyes soften.

He notices it instantly, and it affects him more than he'd like to admit.

"I promise I'll say it if I need to." You tell him, and he grows comfortable again.

"Can I touch you?" He asks, softly, and you nod, before verbally answering him with a yes. "Remember; I'll only ever have as much power and control over you as you will give me." He mumbles, head now dipped down to ghost his lips over the skin of your neck. "But once you give it to me-" He says, his knee situating itself in between your legs to spread them in a silent command. "-I won't give it back." He growls, before he bites down, releasing the skin after hearing your delicate mewl, kissing the spot as if to apologize.

He's not sorry.

"Let me ask you.." He says, feeling you rut against his leg that's pressed against your center. "what do you really want from me?" He asks, and you open your eyes, movements slowly coming to a halt as you notice the way he looks at you.

He almost looks uncertain.

"I.." You want him. You know that- you want all of his bad habits and weird quirks. You want to get to know him and everything that comes with it. Hell, he was the main reason you even got into the entire scene in the first place. "You." You say, deciding its best to practice honesty.

"Me?" He asks, genuinely a little confused.

You nod. "Yeah. You." You say. It's a little weird, the whole situation, but you don't mind it. Your hands slowly slip out of his grasp, before they instead intertwine their fingers with his. He feels weirdly caught off guard by the gesture- his past encounters and relationships never having included things like these. So much so, that Jungkook genuinely believed those things to be simple movie-gestures. Overdone, and not realistic. "Like uhm.. if you want to. If you just want to, you know, I.. guess I'd be okay with that too-" You say, looking away, as Jungkook answers.

"I want you too." He answers, eyes searching yours for any glimmer of dishonesty. But he doesn't find it- there is none. There's just you. "I really want you too." He murmurs out, getting closer, before he lets himself loose, his lips finding yours.

He's never been a fan of kissing, but he can very much already imagine kissing you for hours.

Its not just you letting go in that moment, its him too.

Because unbeknownst to you, he's not just opening you a door to his world of unspoken fantasies-

He's also opening his heart as well.

Your first time together is slow and comfortable.

It happens just a day after you had both decided to pursue an actual relationship with one another. He's gentle, careful, but not hesitant. He's exploring.

Inside of his head, he notes down every noise and every twitch of muscle. You sigh as he eats you out, the small ponytail of his unable to hold onto all of his hair as his eyes are partially hidden behind the blonde strands. He's watching you, his fingers having already stretched you out, but then he sits up. You whine, with him having stolen your release for a second time. "Let's play a little, yeah?" He says with an amused yet calm tone. You're already unable to do much about your position; your wrists bound to your bed over your head, carefully tied knots comfortable against your skin, as long as you don't pull. "Legs open." He calls out as you try and close them, and you whine again; testing his patience as you still go ahead and disobey his command. He watches, moves forward, before he pulls them apart again. "You want to cum, no?" He asks, and you nod, frustratedly so. "I wonder what made you think you've earned that reward from me." He tells you, eyes scanning your form as you pull on your restraints a little. He's not fully into his own headspace yet- he's still very much on high alert to notice any signs of discomfort coming from you.

He has to learn just as much as you do.

"You're lucky you're so sweet." He says, before he crawls closer again, his hand on your center, as he enters you with two fingers. Its not enough, but then his thumb draws circles on your clit- and you're approaching, quickly. "Hm? Won't you cum?" And then you say it.

"Can I?"

It's so desperate, so needy, so submissive, that it sends a chill down his spine. He moves closer, kisses your neck, as he can't help but let the rush of it get to him. He is, after all, just as desperate for release. No matter if its his, or yours.

"Such a good girl, of course you can." He tells you. "What a sweet one, such good manners.." He teases playfully, and you tug at your restraints as you come undone under his hands. He unties your wrists and you're holding onto him as soon as you're free, and he lets you hold onto him in your post orgasmic bliss.

Its after a moment that you realize it.

"Wait-" You say, sitting up to look at him. "You- I mean, you didn't get to-" You start, but Jungkook waves it off.

"Its fine, really." He tells you, and you know he's serious. "I'll just wait until it goes down, or take care of it in your bathroom if thats okay with you." He says, patting the side next to him to lay down on. "Come here." He asks, and you comply, before you speak again.

"You.." You start, not looking at him. "Could just take care of it here." You say. "Or I could.." you start, and he looks at you.

"Do you want that, or do you only feel like you have to?" He asks, and you shrug. You take some time, before you answer.

You've seen most of Jungkook until now. From his strong arms, his back, his inked skin, to his thighs and legs. You have seen all- but that. And you've never really considered giving anything back in that way to anyone because of one single embarrassing moment- but with Jungkook, for some reason, you wanted to try.

"I want to." You say, and he nods. "But I don't know how.." You say, and he smiles reassuringly.

"I'll guide you." He tells you, before he scans your face. He's never really felt that desired- at least not in the way he does in that moment with you. "You can take it out for starters." He says, and you nod, before you hesitate a little.

Jungkook is nice, when it comes to that. He's patient, always lets you do the pacing for now, until you trust him enough. This is only the start, after all. You stay cuddled up to his side, but your hand ventures towards his sweats, where you can see his prominent erection still waiting. Slowly, you push the fabric down, both his sweats and boxers underneath- his hips lifting a bit to make it easier for you, until he's freed from his clothes.

You've never really thought much about looks when it came to that department, but Jungkook was, in each and every way, highly attractive. Now you knew, that there was literally nothing about him you didn't desire.

Your first touches are a little hesitant, testing the waters, and Jungkook tries not to react too much to it to give you time. Its when you start to move your hand however, that he closes his eyes, head now completely resting on the pillows beneath as he just decides to enjoy what you might give him. His hips twitch upwards a little after you'd run your thumb over the head, precum glistening while your hand uses it as lubricant to move more smoothly.

He sighs out.

And you grow bold at that, moving to sit up and escape out of his embrace, before you dip down to feed your curiosity. As your tongue touches his skin, his muscles contract, the action not expected since he didn't look what you were doing. You've been told once before that you're not.. the best at this- but Jungkook made you want to try. If you would've looked, you would've spotted the intense stare that Jungkook had been sending your way; mesmerized by the way you tucked your hair behind your ear oh so sweetly, before you let a drop of saliva escape from between your lips, taking him in soon after it had dropped onto his awaiting length.

You really were something else.

He'd gotten head time and time before, and it was never something he didn't like- but he'd also rarely ever cared that much emotionally about the person giving it to him. It's weird, how an emotional connection can make you so much more sensitive to things- such as in that moment, as your tongue moved over his skin while inside your warm mouth, lips heavenly on his cock.

He couldn't imagine what it would be like to be inside you.

There's nothing he could teach you, nothing he could tell you to do, as you moved, sucked and licked. He was breathing heavily already, his hand finding yours as you hold onto it. He sits up, can't help it, has to somehow touch you while you're not letting go of your task. His palm escapes your hand, rests on your head instead, runs through your hair before it grips a little. You moan, vibrations making him throw his head back as he groans out, feeling his end coming closer. "If you don't want to swallow, let go." He grits out, but you suck harder instead, and its when your hand finds his balls that he lets himself fall back onto the mattress beneath, shooting his load into your mouth as you swallow it down.

He's on cloud nine.

You're thoughtful enough to pull his underwear and pants back up, laying on your stomach next to him, waiting, watching, with impish eyes. He looks so radiant, so relaxed, so at ease. It fills you with a weird sense of pride; since in a way, its your doing. "Why did you tell me you don't know how to do that." He comments, rather than asks, slowly calming his breathing back down. His eyes open, hand pushing some hair out of your face. "Thank you. That was amazing." He says, and you shrug.

"Thanks for the compliment." You say, looking at him.

"I have a request." He says, and you nod. "Not like that." He teases, making you blush. "No, but seriously." Jungkook knows that you've been with other people before. It scares him to know that some of your experiences might not have been good- he knows some absolute horror stories Taehyung had told him. "I want you to take all that you've experienced with your former partners.. all those moments, emotions, bad memories, all of it." He tells you, hand now resting on your cheek- a gesture in which you lean into. "And throw them away. Forget them." He tells you.

"This is a new start, for both of us."

"How many clients have you been with?" You ask, casually sitting on the kitchen counter as Jungkook washes the dishes. Its your first night in his apartment, and you're more comfortable than you thought you'd be.

"None." He tells you, and you're ready to snort out a laugh, but he doesn't look at all like he's joking. Seeing your confusion, he continues while scrubbing a plate. "None of us actually have sex with our clients. Some only come to talk, really- others come to let go." He explains, and you nod. "I've never touched, nor been with someone intimately during a scene." He tells you.

"So you had scenes with your partners then?" You ask, and he shrugs.

"In the beginning, yeah." He admits, shrugging. "But I eventually gave up on it. It's not something a lot of people find very appealing. It all looks great in theory, but when practiced, most find its not for them." Draining the sink, he dries his hands on the dish towel, before putting it in its proper place.

"Could you.. imagine a relationship without it?" You ask, and he sighs, shaking his head.

"Not really." He looks at you after a moment. "Its who I am, and its how I love. I can't change that." He tells you, and you nod. Its understandable really, and you like that he has clear lines he likes to follow. It's weirdly comforting to know that he has his life so under control- its all you've ever wanted really.

It's something Jungkook might be able to give you.

It was weird, the feeling of the rope against your skin. He’d been right about it earlier; it wasn’t rough or itchy at all. But maybe that was just because it was him doing it. Maybe he was simply fogging up your senses.

It would make sense.

“Okay?” He humms out, voice gentle and calm while he stops his hands for a moment, palm on your shoulder where it warms up your skin. You’re unsure what okay really means- okay like, he’s finished? Or is he asking if you’re okay? Or is he asking for permission? “Speak to me- don’t just think.” He says, eyes watching you in such a manner that made your slightly trembling body calm down.

“I’m not sure what- what you mean by, okay.” You say, and he smiles, eyes roaming over your body for a moment, but surprisingly not in a way that would make you feel exposed. You’re almost naked, after all- only your most private parts hidden from his sight. You can see the very evident tent in his pants; but he doesn’t seem like he’s frustrated or fazed about it.

“Good Job telling me.” He says first and foremost, and you start to feel warm inside. “I was asking if you were okay. Do you remember your colors?” He asks, and you nod, before verbally answering him with a ‘yes’. He nods again, a hand running over your head, fingers running through your hair affectionately. “Good. I’ll finish the last knots now- remember you can stop at any time. Don’t hesitate.” He says, and you nod.

He grabs the rope again; the tiny fact that he’d chosen one in your favorite color making you feel.. well, you didn’t know. You could feel your nose sting, before it shot into your eyes, making them water; something that Jungkook immediately noticed. “Color?” He asks, and you shake your head.

“Green, Green, I’m okay-“ you say, but you can’t stop the tears. He’s quick to sit down in front of you after tying the last knot- and it’s the first time you quietly look at them. They’re so delicate, so well done, but there’s no time to dwell on it as he lifts you chin gently.

“Talk to me.” He says, hands on your shoulders to give you some sense of stability. You’re safe, you don’t feel bad, but just..

“I don’t know. There’s so much-“ you begin, and he softly smiles, as if you’re not currently completely bound with no chance of proper movement. You take a deep breath, holding it before you release again, silently following the advices he’d given you prior. “Why do I feel so.. comfortable? I feel safe even though I’m in such a dangerous situation- I’m.. this is weird isn’t it, I should be.. I don’t know. Why’re you not doing anything? Wasn’t this supposed to be like, a sex session or something I don’t get it-“ you babble, and he lets you, before he speaks.

“You still don’t quite get it, do you?” He asks, and your glistening eyes stare up at him. “I don’t need something as simple as sex to feel satisfied.” He explains, and you nod, even though you don't quite understand. "I feel euphoric right now, even though you probably won't quite believe me." He says, his smile evident as his fingers trace the knots on your skin. It's there that you see it; the glimmer in his eyes, something you've never seen before with someone else. "The fact that you let me do this, it's all I need." He humms out. He looks at you, a silent question, and you take a deep breath.

You don't quite know what you're doing. Its weird- but seeing him like that makes you feel weightless. It happens slowly, you don't quite grasp what it is, but the feeling is nice. It's like letting go- like standing on the highest platform of the universe and just jumping down. And when you open your eyes, all you see is him.

He can't take his eyes off of you.

He's seen it often enough to spot it, knows what it looks like, but it still holds such a deep meaning to him to see you fall into your subspace for the very first time. You're so beautiful like that, so ethereal and enchanting as you lean forward to get closer to him. He's careful you dont accidentally hurt yourself with the big scissors on the bed close by- emergency equipment to release you asap if needed.

He knows escape is the furthest thing on your mind right now.

Able to do anything he'd want with you, he's not like that however. He's responsible enough to let you float for a moment, before he speaks to you again. "Baby?" He asks, and you nod, nuzzling his shoulder as he holds you close. "You're doing so good. Can you do something for me baby?" He questions again, and you nod, not parting from him however before he talks again. "Can you sit straight for a moment? Just like that, good girl." He praises as you instantly follow his command. "I got you, okay? I got you, you're safe." He repeats, as he slowly unties your body. It's careful reassuring and slow movements that make it possible to untie you- too quickly could make you drop; a state of sudden shift in mental state, that could send you straight into distress. Jungkook doesn't ever want to be the cause of that for you.

You're underneath him, and he's careful, as he undresses after placing the scissors onto the bedside table where it cant lead to any accidents. He also reaches inside the table, pulling out a condom from a box safely stored, before he gets himself ready.

Not even for a second is his attention not on you however.

"Hands up baby." He commands, and you do as he wants, already squirming as he advances towards you, fingers stretching you out as you grow huffy at the prospect of being edged again. He's quick to catch on though. "Hm, I'm not gonna be mean baby." He tells your fuzzy mind. "But I gotta get you ready, no?" Fingers steadily helping you relax, he waits until he deems you ready.

You struggle to keep your hands up as he enters you, but your mind is adamant on keeping his command. He groans out, kisses your neck, as he slowly begins to move lazily. It's enough for pleasure- but not enough to make you cum. "Good fucking girl. Look at you. My baby." He chants, and something inside you stirs at the last words.

His Baby.

You're his.

He wants you.

It makes you whine as he chuckles, nipping at your skin. "You can touch me baby, good job." He says, and your hands are instantly around his neck. You're mumbling something, but its not words. It's not coming out the way you think it does, and Jungkook doesn't mind, doesn't care. Its another one of those things fueling him up, urging him on.

You're his perfect puzzle piece.

He lets go.

"Turn around princess." He says breathless, and you follow his instructions eagerly. His hand rests on the back of your neck for a moment, leaves its place for a second to move your hair away from your face, before he gently pushes down. He's inside in a heartbeat, this time thrusting with more strength.

Something overcomes him that hasn't happened before.

Usually, this position is what he loves most- and yet, it's not what he wants. He wants you, he wants you close, he cant touch you enough. His arms snake around your torso, just underneath the bottom of your breasts, as he pulls you towards him. Your back arches so prettily, and he gasps out, breathing heavy as he continues his attack on your neck. "You're mine." He growls out, can't keep it inside anymore, his grip on you tightening. "Mine." His thrusts stutter, his hand reaches for your center, desperate fingers helping you find your release. It coats your thighs, stains the bed, and he pushes himself as deep as he can once he finishes himself.

He's breathing heavily, he's out of his mind, running on autopilot as his hands still hold you. He pulls out after a moment, a whine from you getting reassured by his own voice, before he leaves the bed, getting a warm damp washcloth ready for you. He's careful, gentle, seems to caress your skin more than clean it, places kisses every now and then and sends praises your way.

"How do you feel?" He asks, voice low and caring as he continues his aftercare.

"Like you love me a lot." You sleepily say, eyes still foggy, and he smiles.

"Good." He tells you, reaching out to kiss your lips, still high on his own afterglow. "That's how you're always supposed to feel like."

"I've quit." He tells you one night on the couch, as you sit close to him. You'd asked him about his sidejob at Yoongi's- and this was his answer. Instantly, you sit up straight, fearing that he might've felt obligated because of you. "Before you start, yes, it was because of you." He says, and you already have the whine in your throat- but it doesn't make it out, as his fingers lazily trace your collarbone peaking out from his shirt you're wearing. "But it was also my decision. I just didn't enjoy it anymore- and you're more I could ever want really." He says, shrugging as you stare at him.

It was still new to you.

Although you knew that he was probably more than just a wild loverboy collecting partners and gaming all day, you never would've thought of him like this. He's a kid at heart still, teasing and playfighting every now and then- but he's mostly a strong shoulder to lean on for you. He really is the security and safety you'd always searched for. "What're you thinking about?" He asks, pulling you closer as he continues watching the TV show.

"You." You say, and he chuckles.

"Cute." He answers. He looks at you for a moment, TV long forgotten, before you crawl over his lap, shirt rising enough to give him free view of your thighs and panties. You've skipped the pants tonight- a habit of yours he enjoys a lot. His palms instantly find the soft skin, running along the outside of your thighs before they find your behind, squeezing, before he slaps it playfully. He grins as you squeal, admiring the way the very tips of your ears turn red. "You're really precious, you know that?" He tells you, and you shrug. "You are." He confirms, and you smile shyly.

"May I kiss you?" You ask, and he smiles warmly.

"We're not in a scene baby, do as you wish." He tells you, and you nod, leaning forward to capture his lips with yours. Its a feeling you can't quite get enough of, and it seems like he enjoys it equally as much. His inked hands find their way underneath your shirt, running over your back and spine as you shudder. He doesn't find what he seeks, your underwear long gone and left in the bedroom, and he loves it, instantly moves to your chest where he finds the soft flesh, his thumb running over one of your nipples teasingly. You're arching your back already, moving around as if you can't sit still. "My baby." He mumbles out, "If you can be so kind and get me a condom, you can ride me if you want to." He tells you, and you nod.

By now you easily know your way around his apartment.

So its no wonder you quickly return from your now shared bedroom, condom in hand as you approach him again, settling onto his lap. You're not shy with him nor his body anymore, eagerly taking the condom out of the package for him to roll it down onto his length. "You good?" He asks, and you nod, pulling your panties aside as you slowly sink down on him.

He lets his head rest back on the couch, and you lean into him, for a change returning the favor of kissing his neck. He's grinning, throughoutly enjoying things, and you love watching him. It's a visual reminder to yourself that this is your doing. You're making him feel that way, and no one else. It makes you confident, and it makes you feel cherished in ways you haven't felt before.

Once you start to move, Jungkooks hands help you along. Its slow and lazy, not at all hurried. There's no real goal; you probably wouldn't even mind not cumming at all. This was just being close- a way of feeling connected in the most intimate of ways. Connected like only lovers could be.

You love him.

And it slips out as a tiny 'I love you' in between your sighs and gasps, and he hears it so clearly, he can't help himself but speed up the pace.

"I love you too." He chants out, kissing the side of your head as you rest against his chest, head on his shoulder. "I love you so much." He says, almost inaudible, his arms holding you as close as he can.

Jeon Jungkook doesn't need sex to feel satisfied.

But he will most certainly need you for now and forever.

And he's totally fine with that.

(c)Bonny-Kookoo. You know the drill. I know where you live. I don't. But still. Be scared. Boo.