#it’s been like a month but I’m still obsessed

[clementine-thedestroyer]

What about Raccoon! reader and bear! price. I think that would be a funny play on the usual prey hybrid reader.

Like this trash panda keeps leaving berries and cool junk outside Prices cave. He doesn't think the trash is as nice as you do but when he finally catches you and you have to try and explain Raccoon courting to him, he gets to decide if he wants to accept your offering or not!

(idk anything about Raccoon courtship btw I made that up💀)

I’m obsessed. I love this so much.

Maybe you’re bringing him what, in your eyes, isn’t even trash. Anything shiny, soft, or remotely interesting will catch your interest- one man’s trash is another man’s treasure and all that- and of course you want to share your greatest treasures with him.

So you start brining him your best finds as little gifts. The first thing you bring to him is an old disco ball ornament meant to dangle from a rearview mirror (it’s got a few of the reflective tiles missing, but they’re no great loss).

The second gift you bring is one of the reflective, crinkly cat toys that looks like little balls of tinsel (shiny and crinkly!!), and the third gift is a section of shiny copper pipe you found about to be thrown out.

You bring him other, smaller gifts too- those were just your favorites. You bring him some of the little minnows you snatch from the creek’s shallow banks and every pretty rock that catches your eye. If you don’t mind bugs, maybe you even bring him a butterfly with pretty wings or a shiny beetle to enjoy.

And all the while, John is convinced someone is fucking with him. Why is there a pile of 3 flopping, still alive and actively suffocating minnows in front of his den? What’s he even supposed to do with them? Eat them? They’re not even half the size of his pinky finger. Unsure of what to do, he ends up picking them up and taking them back to the water, perplexed by the situation.

But as more and more “surprises” of the like show up, he’s only getting more and more confused. Within a month, he’s found piles of junk in front of his send and he’s had to escort multiple sets of minnows and even a few frogs back to the stream. What’s he supposed to make of all this? What possible reason could someone have for leaving a broken pencil for him to find. Was there some sort of message?? Was that metal pipe supposed to be a threat???

So eventually he gets tired of being messed with and has a stakeout, hiding back in the underbrush and watching the entrance to his den as night falls, hoping to catch the perpetrator in the act.

He falls asleep on watch, only waking up at the sound of light, cautious footsteps near the entrance of his den.

He doesn’t hesitate. He knows this must be who’s been messing with him for the past few weeks.

He shoots out of the bushes, tackling you to the ground and ignoring your shrieks and squawks of protest as he wrestles you onto you back, pinning your arms down and glaring down at you.

“Alright. Jigs up. You had your fun messing around with me, but I’m tired of waking up to crap or half dead animals on my doorstep. Time to fess up.” He growls, looking at where he has your wrists pinned, noticing the mangled, bent metal fork in your hand.

Yep. It’s definitely been you.

“Christ.” He grumbles, plucking the fork from your hand, inspecting the twisted metal. “What the hell even is this? Where do you find this crap?? How much effort have you been putting into messing with me?”

“You don’t like it?” You say, your voice cracking.

John looks down at you, taking in the look of hurt in your eyes and the small, light grey and almost oval shaped ears sticking up from the top of your head.

He sighs, resigning himself. Of course you were a raccoon hybrid. He should’ve realized he was being courted… just the gifts and offerings of food didn’t quite line up with what he considered to be typical courting gifts.

He releases your wrists, sitting back on his heels to take his weight off you and taking a deep breath in.

“No… it’s… it’s fine. I love it…. Why don’t you come on inside.”

(Then like a week later after the two of you talk it out and he starts courting you back he just asks why the fish always had to be alive when you left them there and you just told him to prove that they were fresh)

[nazumichi]

friendchip means everything. to me 🫶

[doctorwhommm]

dontcha think it’s kinda cute that i died right inside your arms tonight?

[thetriangletattoo]

not me, bitch.

[maydayintheforest]

Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812 fans rise up I need this musical to have a rabid, active fan base

[royaltea000]

Clocking myself for the New Years

[tetzoro]

good morning and happy tuesday my friendz ^_^ the sun is out and starting to peek through the pretty clouds and i feel like that is such a good representation of my mood today hehe i hope you all have a wonderful day and remember to be gentle with yourselves ! you’re all doing the best you can and that will always be good enough. 🤍💫

[fingertipsmp3]

This is the spiritual successor to Four Seasons Landscaping. To me.

[shoot-i-messed-up]

thinking about how Jill was born a millennial forced to be a gen z…

[hungharrington]

.

[gobbluthbutagirl]

packing for my trip this week and i’m like when was the last time i actually went on a vacation that involved a flight…well it was 19 years ago. and 19 years ago i was 7 so i’m sure i was only minimally involved in the packing process

[arolesbianism]

Realized it’s been over a year since I last drew him and couldn’t stand by that

[saturdaynightghostclub]

There is an indie author on here whose first book is about to be traditionally published, and their PR tactic as far as I can tell has been to go on Instagram and repeatedly post about the five(!) other books they’re currently working on. Curiouser and curiouser

[exopelagic]

WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME BURROWS END WASNT FREE

[mairimelodies]

Kicking off the new blog with this year’s Spotify Wrapped

The results are completely unsurprising, frankly, Paris low-key owns my souls rn…

[reflectionsofgalaxies]

coping with things so well today so i’m bragging about it ✨