#it’s because my life is falling apart and now there are rats in my house. there may have been rats in my house this whole time

[gguk-n]

Chapter 3- Caught in the Act

A+ in Pretend Love (Lando Norris x Reader)

Series Masterlist

Summary- If you asked Zak Brown, he would advice never to store confidential contracts on the cloud. If you asked Lando, he would tell you to not fall in love with your fake fiance. If you asked Y/N, she would tell you to never date a famous person even if it's not real.

While Lando was being coached by his best friend to confess his love to his fake fiance; Zak's cloud was being hacked in hopes of finding some dirt on McLaren or their CEO ad black mail but they didn't expect to hit the jackpot. Their contract was valid for 3-4 more months and the plan was to slowly ease Y/N out of Lando's life and say that things didn't work out because of their busy schedule.

What no one anticipated was they would wake up on Saturday morning to both their face plastered all over the news with the contract they had signed. The media was calling them all sorts of things from trying to fool them to trying to fool an entire country. There were people who had tracked her down and were not waiting outside Y/N's house in hopes of talking to her or at her work. She had to take leave from work since her professors were speaking ill of her. She couldn't imagine having to go back for her PHD programme. The worst were the fans; the name calling, the hate; it was all directed towards her as if McLaren were saint's in all of this. Lando also bore the brunt of a major chunk of the hate.

Zak just texted them telling them not to talk to anyone and to stay hidden till it all died out. Y/N wouldn't even talk to Lando at this point because she was so angry and hurt and didn't want to direct her anger towards him when it wasn't even his fault. She was sat bawling her eyes out at all the mean things the people were saying about her. It made her life extremely difficult, something she hadn't imagined happening.

Lando was a mess; McLaren told the media that Lando wouldn't be answering any question other than the race and if they asked any personal questions, he just walked away; adding fuel to the fire. The drivers were also gossiping among themselves. "No wonder she suddenly showed up. It was all a rouse" George whispered. "I mean I get why McLaren would do that, with Lando's antics" Alex reasoned. But as soon as they would spot Lando, they would stop whispering. "If you guys are gonna talk about my relationship" he said in animated quotation marks, "do it in front of me. I'll answer all your questions" he huffed and walked away, clearly hurt by his friends. Racing while it felt like his world was falling apart was proving to be very difficult. All his calls and messages to Y/N would fall on deaf ears and it was messing with him even more. He just needed to know that she was okay. He didn't give a rat's ass about how he was.

"Lando, I think, soon the media will get something else to talk about. You should just focus on your racing" Zak reasoned with Lando who wanted to put out a statement saying it was all their idea. "None of this would've happened had you not saved the damn contract on your cloud" Lando sighed angrily. "I don't understand how could you let something like that happen" he shouted walking away. The environment in the McLaren garage was tense to say the least.

Lando had hoped that things would quite down by now. The original timeline for his contract was also up but there was no shutting up about the fake relationship. Lando won his maiden win and yet the only thing they could talk about was Y/N. Part of Lando missed her, he had really hope to be able to share this moment with her. When he got out of the car, a big part of him wished she was there so he could run to her, hold her and maybe celebrate this win with her.

So, later that night, he did call her and she answered, her voice hoarse. "Congratulations Lando" she crocked. "Were you crying?" Lando asked worried. "Yeah, I'm just so happy you won" she said clearing her throat. Lando found himself smiling for the first time in a long time. "How have you been?" he asked her softly. "Same old same old. I thought things would quite down by now but they haven't." Y/N mumbled. "I'm sorry" Lando apologised. "It's a good thing I'm busy with research for my PHD. I have no clue how I would deal with people in my class" she sighed. "I'm so sorry Y/N. It's all my fault" Lando began before Y/N cut him off. "It's no one's fault. Things like this happen. I'm just glad they didn't rebuke my visa for this" she laughed trying to lighten the mood. 'I miss you' was stuck in both their throats as they continued to talk for a couple more minutes. "I think we should cut the call" Y/N suggested. "Oh" Lando replied. "I think it would be easier for the both of us if we stopped contacting each other. It was a hassle explaining the whole thing to my parents and my relatives. I just don't have it in me honestly" Y/N breathed out shakily. "I'll fix this" Lando tried to reason. "Don't Lando. I think this was it for us. I wish you the best. Take care" Y/N said it like it was their last time talking. "Please" Lando begged but Y/N cut the call; "But I love you" Lando whispered into his phone.

As the time went on and as the championship picked up, Lando's heart was in unrest. He felt like he had wronged the person who he loved and he couldn't live knowing that. So, he decided to sit down one day and film a video. He had seen the stuff people were saying about him and Y/N and he felt like it had been months; people should've moved on by now but if they couldn't he would make sure that they wouldn't be able to say shit about Y/N anymore.

The video began with Lando in his Monaco apartment; "Hi guys. Lando here" he began. He took a deep breath before speaking; "I would like to address my whole relationship with Y/N in his video. Part of me had hoped that it wouldn't come to his but here we are. Y/N and I did begin this relationship in a contract but it was the team's and my decision to do so. She was just a random person we ran into who ended up helping us. So, the whole gold digger narrative you all are spinning is a load of bull. I know I shouldn't've done that but I had no other option to clear up my image because that's what the team and sponsors wanted. Part of me had hoped that after the championship had started picking up steam you guys would have something better to talk about but hating on us for the decisions we made is too much. If you would like to hate on me or send me a ton of hate, be my guest but please leave Y/N out of this. She is innocent and doesn't deserve this. I would appreciate it if you would stop sending hate to the woman I actually loved. And to Y/N, if you're even watching, had we met in a different situation, I would've actually married you since I really do love you" Lando finished the video and after he was happy with it he uploaded it to his channel. He knew his PR team would give him shit but he didn't give a fuck. He just wanted Y/N to be safe.

The internet was in an uproar after Lando's public declaration of love. Some were calling it cliche and the others were swooning over Lando for taking a stand. People weren't very happy with McLaren and how they had handled the whole situation. Lando was being bombarded by calls from McLaren and they were angry at him for what he did. "Lando are you crazy? The sponsors won't stop calling. Why would you say that?" Zak shouted. "Because lying was what got us here. So, I cleared the air" Lando stated. "You are unbelievable and so difficult. I don't know why I tried so hard to keep you" Zak mumbled which Lando heard and it stung.

Y/N was on vacation with Becky who had taken her away since all she did was stay coup-ed up at home since the whole incident. Y/N woke up to a text from her mum; 'you'll want to see this. It's Lando' it read. Y/N quickly loaded the video and before she knew it, she was crying. She couldn't believe that Lando loved her. The craziest part of the video was the love confession honestly. She quickly called him and a groggy voice answered. "Y/N, is everything okay?" Lando asked worried. "Yes. Do you mean it?" she asked. "Mean what?" Lando asked confused. "What you said in the video about being in love with me?" she pleaded. "Yes. Every word. I've been in love with you for months and I couldn't tell you and it was killing me. It's fine if you don't feel the same. I just needed to let it out" Lando rambled. "I love you too you muppet" she laughed as tears were rolling down her face. "You mean it?" Lando asked pinching himself. "Yes. I love you so much Lando Norris" she said, by now Becky was also up due to all the commotion. "Are you free tonight?" Lando asked. "Ahh, I'm on vacation right now" she said slowly. "Let me know when you're back, I'll pick you up at the airport" Lando said, "I love you Y/N Y/L/N" Lando stated. "I love you too" Y/N replied before ending the call to explain everything to Becky.

True to his words Lando had come to the airport to pick her up, As soon as he spotted her, he ran to her at full speed almost knocking her down as he wrapped his arms around her waist raising her in the process to spin around for a while. "I missed you" he whispered putting her down with his head nuzzled in her neck. "I missed you too" she whispered running a hand through the back of his hair. "You made me dizzy" she whined as he pulled away to look at her. "Sorry" Lando smiled sheepishly. "About that date?" he asked. "Give me some time to shower and than I'm all yours" she beamed.

The two of them headed home. They went on that much needed date; at home with pizza and shitty rom-coms. They giggled as the pair on the screen kissed. When Lando turned to look at her and held her face like it was the most precious thing. "Can I kiss you?" he mumbled, eyes flickering to her lips. She nodded and Lando closed the distance between them, the kiss was sweet and needy; they had so many emotions running through them and some how this kiss was exactly what they needed.

"What about McLaren?" she asked a couple days later. "I'll tell them we're really dating but now I really wanna just protect you. I won't let anything happen to you." he stated. "I know" she hummed in agreement kissing his lips.

After spending the whole of summer break together, Lando came out to announce that him and Y/N were actually dating. The team took it as well as you expect them to. The fans were going wild since this was truly out of a book. The other drivers were quite supportive and even apologised for their previous discretion.

With Y/N on his side, Lando felt like he could take on the world; good or bad. And Y/N was happy she agreed to fake date Lando since she got a real boyfriend out of this.

Tag list- @gamesetmatch-me @seonghwaexile @yootvi @hadesnumber1daughter @khaylin27 @abq654 @plotpal @charlesgirl16 @inarabee @a-beaverhausen @hwalllllllelujah

[call-me-strega]

How to Become a Step-Dad in 5 Easy Steps: part 1

Jason meets Single Dad Danny who is taking care of a de-aged Dani while trying to get his degree at Gotham U. Both of them fall hard, hijinks and shenanigans ensue, simping on both sides.

Edit: background info/lore found here

Edit: part 2 now found here

~~~~

Step 1: Meet an attractive single parent

As a Crime Lord/vigilante Red Hood had multiple safe houses that he used in and out of the mask. Some were for each exclusive identity to prevent anyone from linking them together and others used for both. Currently, Jason was walking out of his 2nd favorite safe house and the mostly permanent residence of “civilian and non-profit worker: Jason Todd” with a plate of cookies and a pan full of lasagna for his new neighbors that moved in two doors down. He may have been a street rat but he’d be damned if Alfred and Talia hadn’t taught him hospitality (it was a fact of life that grandparents and Asian people would try to feed their guests like their honor depended on it). Plus it was a great way to do some reconnaissance on whether or not these new neighbors could potentially pose an issue. The apartment complex was on the border of Crime Alley and Burnley meaning the people who lived there weren’t doing too hot money-wise but were at least able to avoid the worst of Crime Alley. Jason was just planning to go over introduce himself, hand over the homemade food, and head off to a different safe house to get his gear and patrol. However, he was not expecting to see his new neighbor standing outside struggling to open his own door, a six-year-old on his hip, arguing with someone over the phone. The young man had a lean build and appeared to be no older than 20, give or take a year or two. He had black bangs that cast a shadow on his face making his eye-bags appear even darker and startling blue eyes clouded with anger and resentment, likely towards whoever was on the phone. He was so occupied with his conversation he didn’t seem to notice that someone else had stepped into the hallway. He was wearing dark blue jeans and a loose white shirt with a NASA logo on it that slightly hung off his shoulder. He also wore a black hoodie with a white hood and neon green accents that seemed to be subject to his sister(?)’s death grip. Despite his disheveled state, there was something about his new neighbor that drew him in. His aura washed over Jason like a cool breeze on a hot day making it hard for Jason to look away. He would have continued assessing the man if he hadn’t made eye contact with the identical blue eyes of the young girl perched on his hip, who looked at him with a curious sparkle in her eyes. He discreetly turned back around to lock his own door, trying to eavesdrop on the conversation the elder (brother?) seemed to be having. It could provide some info on these new neighbors.

“-shut up Vlad! I’m not moving into your rich guy penthouse! I wouldn’t be taking any of your shady money if I didn’t need child support for Ellie!”

Huh. So her dad/guardian then?

“ Of course I have to do this Vald! What’s the other option, sending her back to a Frootloop like you?! … I’m not going to abandon Ellie for something that wasn’t her choice. She didn’t ask to be created Vlad that’s why she gets a chance.”

Okay so setting aside the rather concerning parts New Neighbor Guy™️ was definitely that child’s parent. Seems fairly rational as well.

“How do I know you’d be a terrible guardian? Plenty of reasons, do you want the list chronologically or alphabetized! You violated me, who you said you wanted to adopt despite me having two living parents, you created Ellie and several other failed attempts without my knowledge, you hid her from me, you tried to teach her to hate me before we even met, you named her Danielle after me instead of giving her her own identity, the list goes on and on Vlad! Do you want me to continue because that’s just the stuff that involves Ellie— I was 14, you middle-aged vampire look-alike! Of course I wasn’t jumping at the chance to become a teen dad! I was a freshman in high school! Besides you know what my parents are like, lab safety regulations were more like a healthy suggestion to them. I was in no position to be taking care of a child!”

Rage flashed in Jason’s eyes as he tightened his grip on his glass Tupperware pan full of lasagna. This conversation was not painting a pretty picture about his neighbor’s situation. He took a deep breath trying to calm himself before belatedly realizing his neighbor had gotten real quiet. He turned around, catching the tail end of his neighbor’s conversation as he finally succeeded in opening the door.

“Whatever Vlad, just keep paying your child support and for Ancients’ sake please stop trying to date my mom. …. Yeah, yeah screw you too Count Chocula.”

The neighbor set his daughter down, likely so she could enter the apartment, and slipped his phone from between his head and shoulder into his hand to hang up on that Vlad guy. Now seemed like as good a time as any to approach. Jason walked up the the young man and coughed trying to get his attention. The young man met Jason’s eyes with a somewhat surprised look. As if he wasn’t unaware of Jason’s presence but hadn’t expected him to talk to him. Jason decided he should start speaking now before things got too awkward.

“Uh- Hi, I’m Jason. I live a few doors down in 357,” he said glancing at the 353 on his neighbors’ door before he continued. “I heard you moving in a few days ago and thought I’d swing by with some food to welcome you to the building.” He stuck out his hand for the other to shake.

“Hi I’m Danny, Danny Nightingale,” he said taking Jason’s hand and ‘Wow his hands are cold’, “ and this little munchkin here is Ellie!” Danny and Ellie flashed him matching smiles like twin suns making Jason's heart melt. He returned their smiles before extending the food to Danny.

“ I don’t know if you’ve had time to get groceries yet but here’s some homemade lasagna if you need a quick meal while you’re getting settled,” he then crouched down to Ellie’s level and stage-whispered in her ear conspiratorially “ and there are some chocolate chip cookies on that plate too.”

Ellie giggled out a thank and threw her arms around Jason’s neck, giving him a quick hug before letting go and dashing into the apartment. Jason watched her go, stunned but feeling warm and fuzzy inside. He turned his attention back to Danny, who shook his head and huffed amusedly. They made eye contact as Jason rose and realized he was a head taller than the guy. He felt the heat expanding in his chest and crawling up his neck, curling behind his ears. He decided now that Ellie had gone in it would be a good time to talk to Danny about what he overheard.

“ So it really wasn’t my intention to do so but I overheard some of that conversation you were having over the phone earlier,” he watched Danny’s smile drop a bit as he winced. Jason awkwardly brought up his hand to scratch the back of his neck and continued.

“ Look I don’t wanna insert myself into your situation but if you ever need help I’m just a few doors down. And if that guy gets pushy or stops sending his child support I can help you find a couple of avenues you can take. Plus, although we’re technically outside Red Hood’s territory I’m sure he wouldn’t mind extending protection over you like he does for the other Crime Alley folk if ya really need it.”

Danny’s face smoothed out looking a bit flushed and appreciative as he went on. He gave Jason a small smile and replied, “ Thank you for the offer. I really do appreciate it. Might just take ya up on it at some point. As for Red Hood? I think I’ll avoid needing the protection of a crime boss vigilante if I can help it. Don’t worry too much about Vlad though. I’ve got him handled currently and he’ll behave if he knows what’s good for him!” Danny smiled threateningly towards the end of his reassurance. (‘His canines are peaking out that’s so cute’)

Jason chuckled with Danny as their eyes locked once more. They stayed lost in each others’ eyes for what seemed like hours before they heard a thump followed by a small “oof” coming from inside the apartment. Danny turned to the door and called out to Ellie,

“Ellie, what was that? Are you okay”

“I’m fine! My shirt just fell!”

“That sounded heavier than a shirt?”

“I was in it!”

Danny sighed, shaking his head before turning to Jason once more.

“Thank you again for the food, any chance you’d like to come in and have something to drink?”

“Thanks for the offer but I’ll have to decline. I need to start heading out for work.”

“Well then, I shouldn’t keep you. I’d hate to make you late for work.” He waved goodbye as Jason nodded his head and started walking down the hall.

His neighbors seemed entirely harmless he decided as he walked away. ‘The kid was cute’ he thought to himself. A smaller voice from the back of his head that sounded vaguely like the Pits chimed in ‘Her dad was even cuter.’

~~~~~ Please let me know what you guys think and if you want to see more of this. I thrive on feedback so feel free to leave any notes or comments!

[starberry-cupcake]

I came back!!! I didn't leave you for 5 months!!! And now I have 3 chapter updates together!!! I'm kissing you all in the brow tenderly like palmolive did to harrow and offering this recap

previously, in harrowcita del 9:

this happened

CHAPTER 34

harrow wakes up in a different spot, with camilla next to her and a shuttle with a design she has never seen before

she confirms that palmolive is indeed in his bachelor apartment in the river

camilla is very glad she doesn't have to go back to sweep the floor of canaan house for more palmolive bits

harrowcita does as palm told her and turns the skull into a hand because cam doesn't want a full skeleton reproduction because "it would get her in trouble"

customs are nasty up there in space

harrow goes to check up the shuttle and finds more old pals!!!

there's judith, remember judith?

in harrow's memory, she was dead from the slasher waker sleeper, but in our memory she was close to dead but not quite

turns out she's alive

not great for anyone other than herself, but anyway

there's also regina george twin

harrow remembers her falling to her death in the hands of mayonnaise uncle, but we remember her from crying in a corner last we saw her

after yandere twin had slurped chad the third and all that

this is again confusing me a bit, because clearly harrow remembers the gideon-less narrative but not!dulcinea is included in her memory, so that's still undetermined for me

there's also a poster of a woman harrow takes quite some time looking at

she: 1) looks intimidating, 2) is dressed in black, 3) has red hair

harrow immediately starts bleeding

"that portrait frightened you more than anything you had seen since becoming a Lyctor; it scared the irresolute piss from your body. Yet you had never seen the face before in your life"

my immediate theory is that maybe she's the leader of BOE who went missing about 20 years ago and that I mentally connect to gideon or gideon's mom

without any evidence other than math and a hunch

we'll see how wrong I am in the following chapters

harrow starts taking out her letters for everyone present

past!harrow wanted present!harrow to silence judith (valid) and protect regina george twin, only silence her if necessary

yandere twin had added some annotations on this about not hurting her sister

these letters were google docs

regina george twin has a ninth house rapier

I WONDER WHAT THAT IS ABOUT

harrow does as told (by herself) but wants to know what is going on so she un-silences judith momentarily and judith is an asshole who wants to rat someone out to the emperor

idk how things are at BOE or what is going on but here we don't stan the emperor so anyone who wants to protect him isn't my friend

camilla gives the ninth pledge to convince her to let them leave and says "we're not on the same side anymore"

PROMISING

when asked who took them from canaan house and who they're with, camilla says "you call them Blood Of Eden"

POSTER THEORY NOT CONFIRMED BUT I WONDER

CHAPTER 35

back in gideon-less universe with ortus and his polycule the fifth

abby thinks the lost chambers of the emperor run sidelong to the facility, which is information I very much would have liked her to elaborate on

but harrowcita is spotted listening in on the private conversation

harrow also keeps wanting ortus to do gideon stuff and show gideon behavior

she doesn't know that's what she wants but we know because she keeps being like "ortus doesn't start immediately doing push ups after almost dying, isn't showing his arms to the young ones and hasn't said a single dirty joke, which isn't ninth behavior but she's somehow expecting it".

canaan house is also growing some body horror stuff

sure, why not

abby says "time was always against us", which is pretty intense, knowing what we know

and then in comes teacher acting like he's drunk out of his ass, but he says he's not

it's great for us because drunk exposition is useful

he calls "the devil" a "her" who "bent for god to put a leash around her neck" and how the "disciples were scared" of her

then the lyctors found out what they had to do and they asked doctor reverend emperor john to kill her

but he "put her in a box"

like this

"you worship a monster in a box" "now we have a monster in a box"

I hadn't thought of those parallels, actually, that's my bad

"once that rock's rolled away, once that tomb's levered open, the Emperor of the Nine Houses will never know peace ever again"

CHAPTER 36

there's a bug in this one, like in the illustration

is this the beast?

harrow prays that not!dulcinea's body is tossed out through the airlock

WHERE HAVE I HEARD THAT BEFORE??????

OH YEAH, I HAVE BEEN ASKING FOR THAT SAME THING

at first I thought harrow didn't remember her meeting the gang because it said "and why now was one of your letters missing and another two freshly opened?"

but she does remember, so narrator (still unknown) is confusing me

playing games with my mind

they have boring code-names that aren't puns or funny nicknames (which I have a predilection for) but their initials and the initial of their cav

dr reverend emperor john has a g, which I know what word it stands for, but I don't know what it means because it showed up in a dashboard spoiler but thankfully it had no context

so there's AA for Augustine Alfred, GP for Gideon (alleged, we're still not saying that one aloud, I'm still betting on it though) Pyrrha, IN for Ianthe Naberius

which is confusing to me because I call him Chad and everyone else calls him Babs but his name is Naberius but I always read it as Nebarius

he's like a puppy that you name one way but everyone calls differently

augustine hesitates on harrow's name and says "Harrow's H"

harrow says HO and everyone's awkward about it

you sure, harrow? you sure it's O?

turns out the beast is here to get doctor reverend emperor john's sorry ass for, according to mercygirl what "you did to its kin" and "it sees my cavalier's mortal soul burning in my chest"

harrow wants to kiss ice cube barbie but she's not having it and goes "i have to go away for a while"

that's rough, buddy

mercygirl proceeds to draw a cylinder with names of layers and explains the very convoluted and not at all certain sounding plan they've got

apparently ulysses threw sexy parties that mercygirl hated

harrowcita does remember seeing regina george twin and is worried that yandere twin is the traitor that judith was taking about

I think harrow is the traitor but she doesn't know it

I think her forgetting stuff is part of a plan to kill the emperor, but my evidence is circumstantial

as long as we kill this dude, it's all good

mercygirl gives a speech about how much she hates everyone and how she wants to torture the emperor

if we are to spare one lyctor from the guillotine, let it be her

everyone has positions to take in this plan (that sounds like it's kinda doomed) and that the emperor isn't paying attention to at all

everyone except for harrow, because they all think she's gonna die

and we get potential foreshadowing?????? about the stoma

which is "hell" and the emperor says it's "where my power and my authority are utterly meaningless"

AND THAT'S WHERE WE ARE NOW, FAM!!! see you next time!!!

[lovezbrownies]

I am a bit curious of the after affects of, “Thank you, cruel savior.” Of the one you wrote a while back. I honestly want to see the after events and how Gen’s reaction to us coming up as missing/successfully escaping. Whether she knows it was one of her trusted servants or not I want to see how much she looses it. Also, the long term effects to months to years afterwards to see if she will or won’t give up after still no traces

Hello! Thank you for your ask :3! I love love getting asks like this, really makes my brain start up with ideas. Rereading the "Thank you, cruel savior" fic made me realize how vague all the details are im so sorry!!!

Masterlist

Gen Ludenhart x GN!Reader

Warning: Loss of sanity, cannibalism, stalking, themes of depression, abuse of power, torture mentions (to you and others), crazy lady activites.

Gen is an important woman, so travelling every month to meet other monarch's and their subordinates and to work alongside them was a normal thing. But she had only left for a week. A week. So why was it when she returned, she couldn't find you or that rat Reina? Why are some of your clothes missing? Most of Reina's belongings were also gone. Immediately without thought she gave out many orders to close the entire country down in the name of a danger prison escapee who had taken a poor defenseless citizen hostage. Wanted posters of Reina were plastered on every surface of the empire. And missing posters of her darling.

Over the weeks Gen slowly and slowly loses her mind. She'd lash out at anyone that had incurred her wrath that day. This crazed depraved woman had damn near caused a war after insulting a delegate of another empire. Soon this behaviour ends up with her being fired. Of course this meant nothing to Gen, she was a rich noble to begin with. But now with a new Military Chief in power, all the orders she had given out to locate you had been removed. Her brother wouldn't listen to her nonesense any longer. Gen is now alone. She doesn't even have her family on her side any more. She fired every servant. She was truly all alone isolated in her big mansion, with no spouse, and no joyful kids.

Gen's manor by now has completely become delapitated, dust and grimes everywhere, some pieces of wood falling apart, and a remorseful woman in the middle of it all. She wanted to end it. Without you she was nothing. Gen was nothing to begin with until she met you. Gen needed you. You were her life, her air, her nutrition. But after a year of hopelessness and depression, Gen realized she could just look for you herself, she had so so much money, and she was incredibly strong. So with the last bit of logic and reason, Gen sought out a trip to Dacos, Reina's home country. She was sure that woman had seduced you into coming with her to Dacos. But no worries darling, your dear loyal wife is coming to rescue you.

Gen knew Reina was a village girl from the beginning, with her attitude, mannerisms, way of speech, and looks in general. Not only that, but if Reina ever bought a new house in one of the cities in Dacos it would be much easier to trace, and unfortunately for Gen, Reina was smart enough to know that. So Gen went from village to village, showing a picture of Reina or you to any villager she meets. If Reina was smart enough she would change all of your names.

Eventually, Gen reached a tiny village named Lesannea. When she approached an older man with a picture of you and Reina and he confirmed you two lived on the house on the hill to the right of the village, a twisted sickening smile spread across her face. Of course Reina was far too overconfindent with her escape. If this devil thought she can steal away Gen's darling and get away with it well she was dead wrong. Gen will take you back and kill Reina's family be as well as Reina as slow and painful as possible. Gen will make sure you don't see any of it though, but because she will cut up Reina and cook her. So she can feed you the remains of the traitor. Even if you refuse, this woman is no longer sane, she will shove it down your throat one way or another. Gen will then wisk you away oh so romantically and pamper you for a short wile. And when she's done she will regain her honor.

But most importantly. This event changed Gen tremendously, did you leave because she hurt you too much? Don't worry darling, Gen will love and coddle you so you can feel all the love she has for you, so you can never run away again. But of course, she needs to teach you one last lesson before she does that. So you can never attempt to leave her again.

[hrts4hanniehae]

clutch || nine

there are written parts :)

note that the timeline or educations may not add up but just ignore it because i don't have the brain power to sync up THIRTEEN + 1 's education schedules

a/n: sorry this is short.... i rewrote this 3 times and i keep forgetting what i wrote. fml. genuinely omfg.

warnings: fat-shaming, insults, violence

if you thought that this was the end of Chae-young's antics... you were very wrong.

"wonwoo-oppa~" x100

wonwoo had never been this annoyed in his life. during the whole event, he stuck by yn's side the whole time but chae-young wouldn't stop trying to approach him. finally...

"please leave me alone."

"sorry? wonwoo-oppa please speak up!"

"I said, leave me alone. please! it's very irritating to have you follow yn and i everywhere! leave us alone please!"

chae-young lost it.

"WHY HER? WHY YN? SHE ISN'T EVEN THAT PRETTY! SHE ONLY LOOKS DECENT NOW BECAUSE OF HER MAKEUP!"

heads turned towards them as chae-young's husband tried to pull her away.

"I have the face of a model. and i am one. why is it her? yn is fat and ugly! she was overweight at one point you know? do you really want to be with a slut like her?"

"oh so i'm a slut?" it was wonwoo's turn to hold yn back. "what about you huh? trying to seduce my boyfriend while you have a HUSBAND?"

"how else did you get people to buy your ugly paintings and "art"? i wouldn't be caught dead with those crappy paintings in my house!"

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK YOU FAKE BITCH-"

yn broke free of wonwoo's grasp and slapped chae-young in the face. (much to the delight of a lot of her relatives)

"HOW DARE YOU!" chae-young of course retaliated and scratched yn across the face with her nails, drawing blood in lines across her face. she then used her heel to stomp at yn's arms.

"CHAE-YOUNG! THAT'S ENOUGH!" her husband's sudden outburst shocked everyone. "please. stop embarrassing yourself. stop embarrassing me. i think i've had enough. every day you put people around you down because you want to look better. you abuse your position as my wife and you treat me like shit. i think... i think i've had enough. you're ungrateful to everything and just spoiled."

"this isn't about you, Jaeho. this is about m-"

"it's never not about you. let's get a divorce. maybe then you'll get the attention you yearn for."

after that, yn's parents and Chae-young left, begging Jaeho to reconsider. Soon after, the rest of the family began to wrap up the event, sending congratulations to yn and wonwoo.

"does it still hurt?"

"not much... i'm sorry about her."

"don't apologise. it isn't your fault."

"sorry for dragging you there with me. i should have just went alone."

"it's okay. stop saying sorry."

dino burst into yn's room.

"yn... there was a parcel for you. but..."

"but?"

"there was blood leaking out from it. so i opened it..."

"what was it?"

"someone sent you a box full of dead rats. there was a note."

"what? what did it say?"

"I know you're here. yn ln. you're next."

ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

synopsis: wonwoo is a popular streamer known for his incredible gaming skills and good looks. He turned heads. but he hates the attention. he just wants to play games and earn money. one day he receives a letter. his apartment’s rent has almost doubled. no warnings at all. his current paycheck from streaming can’t shoulder those bills. he has no choice but to rent out his spare room. to who? a fresh art university graduate who has… 1. a stable job ✅ 2. talent for art and sculpting ✅ 3. many friends ❌ 4. social anxiety ✅ 5. no filter ✅ when his iconic cat logo gets copystriked, she comes to the rescue with a new logo for him. when his apartment’s walls start peeling, she fixes it. whatever he used to struggle with… the empty space... was now filled by her. so what does he *last player standing* do when her ex *enemy spotted* tries to take her back? heh. *clutch* he clutches.

inspired by wonwoo's gam3bo1 streams, falling into your smile & gogo squid (has hints of valorant)

pairing: streamer!jeon wonwoo x fem!artist!reader (ft. jeongcheol, soonhoon, junhao, seoksoo, verkwan)

genre: fluff, comfort, slowburn, comfort, pining, bestfriend!minghao

warnings: stalker ex, toxic ex, mentions of abuse, guns (game), cursing, hate comments, panic attacks

started: 28.12.23

ended: ?

taglist: join from my masterlist

main masterlist

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tags! @fairyofhour @megseungmin @sun-daddy-yoriichi @woozixo @euphoric-univers @christinewithluv @haowonbins @ocyeanicc @asyre @cynthiaaax13 @superhoshisvt @bangantokchy @chimmy-bts @angelarin @daisawa @writingbarnes @jeonghansshitester

@belladaises @wonwootakemyheart @wonwooz1 @luchiet @kookssecret @caratsland @peachescreamandcrumble @thepoopdokyeomtouched @isabellah29 @leah-rose03 @yandere-stories @coupshour @heesbees @hamji-hae @hyuckxtagram

[fellthemarvelous]

The Small Back Room - Maggie's Record Shop (unhinged meta no one asked for, part 1)

I'm going to cover these in two separate posts because there are a lot. This post is going to be dedicated to the artists with multiple covers in Maggie's shop.

*This is all bonus content from The Arrival (2x1).

What is the purpose of the record shop? It's called The Small Back Room, and it's connected to Aziraphale's bookshop. And a small back room seems like a place someone would store their records.

"If I owned a record shop, I'd be more concerned about people breaking in and leaving more records behind." - Nina

And someone left more records behind. Records of "Every Day".

Aziraphale hears Gabriel sing a human song that Aziraphale is unfamiliar with, so he goes to the record shop to ask Maggie, who actually has way too many copies of "Every Day" because of a pub in Edinburgh, the place with the cemetery that has the statue of Gabriel.

There is more to it though. The pub called the Resurrectionist that plays "Every Day" over and over on the jukebox (and somewhere in America John Mulaney is cackling like a madman) now has direct ties with Aziraphale's personal life because they ended up in Maggie's record shop.

The place where they met Elspeth and Wee Morag, Mr. Dalrymple, messed with dead bodies, and where Crowley saved one woman's soul from Hell.

We heard one passage from Aziraphale's diary, and it was about the time he and Crowley went to Edinburgh that started off with them looking at the statue of Gabriel.

We know Aziraphale has more than 600 volumes of personal written history (as of 1827).

Where is he going to store records of his life on Earth? A record shop that no one other than him visits, attached to the building he owns.

The walls lined with record covers that are telling stories. Clues as to where the story is going to take us? Could they be Aziraphale's diaries or other important records Aziraphale has kept for thousands of years?

And is anyone else concerned about "Come on Over to Our Third Floor Apartment" or is that just me? Heaven is the third floor when you look at the button arrangements on the lift. ⬆️⬆️ ⬇️⬇️

Oslo Revival 1. Come on Over to Our Third Floor Apartment (We're Having a Party / Just for You / Four in a Bed / Have This Drink / It Doesn't Taste Weird / We'll Take Care of You / We Love You / You're One of Us Now / Together Forever) 2. Disguises (Carol and Her Hat / The Bicycle / Memories of a Windchime / Lunch / Who Am I Today? / Make Me Cry / Peggy Asked for Her Jumper Back) 3. It's Raining in My Kitchen (You Cast a Spell on My Wife / Running into Danger / Transcending the Patriarchy / Plumbing / A Dozen Eggs, (Too Many) / Someone New in the Bedroom) 4. Better Together

Kubasulu 1. Great White Lies (Fishy Business / Fluent in Shark-asm / Vanish into Fin-air / Gettin' Chummy / You're Gill-ty / No-fin Left to Lose / I Chews You) 2. Sweating in the City

Rat Keith 1. Look at This Mountain (The Mountain I Climbed / Assorted Wailing Chants of Peril / I Ate Some Berries (Shouldn't Have Done That) / What Happens on the Mountain, Stays on the Mountain / I See It in My Dreams / Soiled Leaves and Soft Bark / Don't Touch the Mushrooms / Huddle for Warmth / My Map Blew Away / This is My Home Now / Finally Rescued) 2. A Dog in God's Hot Car 3. Chem Trails

Raga Koboj 1. Raga Koboj 2. Earth, Swallow Me Whole (Why Can I Just Stay in Bed? / Sighing Loudly / No One's Going to Lunch / I'm Hungry But I Don't Want to Eat Alone / I Wonder What's on the Menu Today / Probably Something Mediocre / I'm Tired / It's Friday / I Wish It Would End) 3. Just Sounds 2.0 (Falling Coin / Stubbed Toe / Oops! / Rice in a Bowl / Spoon Clang / Gagging / Crinkled Paper / Bad Alphabet / Winded)

Deaf Dust 1. Change the Lightbulb (Cartwheels in Mexico / The cinnamon candle / Hold Me / Let Go / Who wait's for us? / Awesome / The basement's pretty dark / Broken Bulb / Stairway to your Mum's house) 2. Snapshots from the Moon

Randa Ransom 1. Doin' it in the Dust (Hard on the Rocks / Ridin' the Horizon / Tall Drink of Water / Wear My Hat / Call My Name / Let Me Use a Saddle / Just Us in the Dust) 2. I'm Lost and I Don't Speak the Language (Lost in Tokyo / WHat's that shop selling? / Sex Dolls (Self-Assembly) / Where's the Bathroom? / This Toilet is Singing / More Sex Dolls / There's a Cafe for Cats / I Want to Go Home / What's Home in Japanese? / Take Me Anywhere Taxi Man) 3. The Answer May Surprise You

Georgina O'Georgia 1. Gorgeous in Georgia ("Oh, George You're Gorgeous" / "It's Georgia with a G!" / "Get your hands off my hair" / "Yes, that's my real name") 2. Spur of the Moment

CT Bazz 1. Locking Up & Looking Down 2. Dank Balaclava

I've never seen anyone talk about these though, but they seem important. Have I missed conversation surrounding these? I'm just really curious as to what other people might think.

As I said above, there is a part two, but that part will cover artists with only one cover.

[mack-attack420]

Judd Birch x Charlie Jones (OC)

Chapter 1: Savior

Well, it started out as a nice day. I woke up early, cleaned my apartment, and finished a project that’s been annoying since I started; the footage just wouldn’t flow together correctly, and it pissed me off. I even decided to go for a walk. But it started to rain as I was walking back. 

“Stupid rain. Always coming at the worst possible time.” I continued to curse the rain as I walked along the sidewalk.

I finally arrived at my apartment building. It wasn’t in the best neighbourhood but it was home. When I unlocked my door, I could hear my rats, Nicodemus and Jareth, chattering from their cage. 

“You guys want to run around? Yeah, I bet you do.” I unlocked their cage and they crawled up my arms. They usually like curling up in my hair but since it's wet they stay on my arms. 

“I know, I’m all wet.” Nicodemus crawls down my body and Jareth follows. They start to chase each other around on the floor.

I laugh and go get a towel and dry my hair. Now that my hair isn’t as wet, Nicodemus comes back and sits on my shoulder. 

I owned his mother before him, so I've been in his life the whole time. I have always kept one of the rat pups when my rats had pups. The first rat I ever owned was Nicodemus’s great-great-great-great-great grandmother. I usually kept one of the girls but I bonded with Nicodemus. He has a salt and pepper coat. Jareth has a light golden blonde coat. The Rats of NIMH and Labyrinth are two of my favourite movies, and when I get two boys they both look like characters from those movies is just a happy coincidence.

 I like having rats because of how intelligent and caring they are; they remember who someone is just like crows. That is if they are properly socialised. Before I got Jareth, I would take Nicodemus with me everywhere. He loved to sit on my shoulder when I skateboard. Jareth isn’t as active and adventurous as Niccy. He just likes to curl up in my bra when I’m doing work or watching TV. When I bought him home from the store he crawled into my bra as soon as I let him out of the box he came in. God, that makes him sound like a toy you get from Walmart. 

Jareth decided that he wasn’t getting enough attention, so he crawled up into my shirt and into my bra, like always. 

“You boys hungry? Let's have a snack.” I go towards the cupboards and look for something to eat. “Peanut butter toast sounds good? Yeah, it does.” I get out the peanut butter and bread. As the bread toasts, I put some peanut butter on my finger and hold it up to Nicodemus, “gentle, no biting,” I tell him. He licks all the peanut butter off and Jareth pops his head out of my shirt for some. 

“Yes, you too.” He tries to pull my finger into my shirt so he doesn't have to stretch. “You are a little goofball, you know that right?”

After I finished my toast, I decided to have an after snack, snack. Weed. Such a lovely plant. I love that I can legally buy it now, instead of going through someone else who rises the price for underaged people. 

“You two need to go back into your cage,” I walk over to the boys’ cage, “You know I don’t like you out when I’m not in the apartment.” I pull Jareth out of my shirt and place him in a hammock. Nicodemus crawls down my arm, following his brother. They curl up and start to fall asleep. 

“You two are so cute,” I close the cage door and lock it. I don’t like the idea of them out when I can’t watch them because my dad once let his hamster out of its cage when he was younger and they never found him again until the house started to smell and the hamster was cooking over the boiler. Talk about the rodent owner's worst nightmare. 

This time I put on a sweatshirt to go outside. It's still raining. I don’t like smoking inside because rats can get respiratory infections easily and I don’t want to cause my rats to get sick and suffer. 

I’m about halfway through my blunt when I see two kids walking down the street with no jackets. One of them looks familiar. I think it's Judd's little brother. I’ve seen pictures of him from time to time. Judd may not tell anyone but he has pictures of his family on his phone.

“This is bad. We have no idea where we are.” The other one said.

“It’s getting so late,” Possibly-Nick said. It was getting late, “Our parents are probably freaking out right now.”

Did they sneak into the city? Damn, from the stories I've heard, he’s kinda a wimp.

“I would’ve done so many things differently. I would’ve wiped better.” Ok, now I’m stepping in.

“Hey, Kids!” I yell at them. I put up my hood so I don’t get any more wet. They look so freaked out.

“We didn’t do anything! I swear!” They back away.

“I’m not going to hurt you. You’re Judd Birch’s little brother aren’t you?” I ask Possibly-Nick.

“Yeah, I am. You know my brother?” Nick perks up.

“Unfortunately, I do. You guys want to come inside my place to dry off?” I ask them.

“I’m, you aren’t like a murderer, are you?” Nick asks.

“No, I’m not,” I laugh, “your brother is a good friend of mine. Look,” I pull out my phone, “ I Have a picture of him.” I show them a picture of Judd mauling a sandwich. 

“Yeah, that’s my brother. Ok, we would really like someplace to dry off.”

They follow me up to my apartment.

“You boys want some hot chocolate or something to warm up?” I ask them as I hand the towels to dry off with.

“Yes, please.” They both answer. After I make them some hot chocolate and add some coffee to mine, I sit them down on my couch.

“What are you guys doing in the city without an adult? You guys are like, what, 10?”

“We’re not 10-“

“Nick dragged me into the city to make out with a girl, she went to the Rocks house, and we said we would meet her there because I this inner ear thing,  so I obviously can’t fly, we lost my cool jazz hat, followed the ghost of Duke Ellington around the city, saw someone crapping on a sidewalk, saw my hat on a woman’s head and the women kissed our friend's mom who’s married, got mugged, and then we got lost and I want to go home!” Nick’s friend said in one breath. I thought I could talk fast but damn, that kids something else.

“Andrew!” Nick yelled angrily at him. 

Nick’s scolding Andrew was caught off by me laughing at them. “This is too good, I mean from the stories I've heard from Judd you're a little wimp, but you going all the way to the city to make out with a girl,” I almost fell over, “I mean, how did you even get here? There’s no way you could have walked along the highway here.”

“We took the train here,” Nick told me.

“And now you have no money to get back, right?” I leaned back in my chair.

“Yeah,” Andrew answered.

“And how do you expect to get back to Bridgeton?” 

Nick and Andrew looked at each other, plotting.

“We were hoping, now that we’ve met you, you could drive us back, or,” Nick spoke up, “at least give us the money to get a train back.” He tried to give me a ‘charming’ smile, but it wasn’t working on me, or, in my opinion, anyone.

I thought about it for a moment. Either drive these boys back to Bridgeton, which was a three-hour drive away, see them get in trouble with their parents, possibly convince Judd to spend the night with me, which I know he will say yes to because I’m awesome, or give them the money and have no fun what so ever tonight. Yeah, there was an obvious winner.

“Ok, I will drive you back,” The boys were excited, “On one condition.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Nick says, finishing his hot chocolate.

“Tell me something that Judd would never tell anyone else,” I smirked. This was going to be good.

“Um…He doesn’t really tell me anything. He likes his secrets.” Nick squirmed around on the couch.

“Oh, come on. You have to have something, don’t you? You’re his brother for fuck’s sake!” 

“Well, when he was like four he make mom Valentine's card asking her to be his Valentine.”

Well, at least that's something. “I guess that’ll do,” I stand up and stretch. I handed Nick my phone, “Call your mother and tell her where you are. It’s getting late and I don’t want to be charged with kidnapping.” 

As Nick dialed his mother, I walked into my room where I had the rat's cage.

“Hey, babies.” I unlock the cage, take out their food dish, and refill it, “I’m gonna be gone for a little while. Be nice to each other and don’t get hurt.” I relock the cage and change my pants from jeans to sweatpants. If I was going to be in a car for a little while I was going to be comfy.

“Hey Tweedle-dee, Tweedle-dumbass,” I walk out of my room and grab my car keys and purse, “Time to go.”

[cathartes-aura-shitposting]

another g/t idea involving creatures.

the context for this idea came to me because our apartment unfortunate has a pretty bad roach issue, to the point that we've actively accepted, of all things, cellar spiders into our house. surprisingly chill spiders, literally harmless to people, and they definitely will eat the roaches if they fall into their web.

anyways, the idea comes in the "i owe you my life" trope; specifically when the character saves an animal and the animal, in turn, saves the character later one.

now we can put two different G/t spins on this.

on one end, you have a regular character saving a small creature that most others regard as pests or icky or something (again with the spiders, but a rat or any other small creepy crawly would work). they might have just spared that one in particular, they may have an affinity for said critter. then what do you know, character shrinks, gets themselves in danger, and the very critter they saved earlier...well, saves them. if the character hasn't grown some appreciation for them, then they would now and after they return back to normal.

then as i was thinking this, i thought to myself...what about one where the character grows instead?

again, character saves creature, this time something giant like a dinosaur, dragon, kaiju, etc. perhaps it was saved as a baby and remembers the character as it grows up, or maybe the character spared it's life. now, i'd imagine that in this scenario the character does grow, but maybe is not as big or as strong as all the other monsters; that, or now they are the ones getting hunted down. it is why the big beast they saved earlier pays their debt by saving them and protecting them from the other monsters (or monster slayers).

and coming to think about this.....both scenarios work for shifters too. maybe the shifter knows they'll be in the creature's shoes someday, or maybe they won't. or, perhaps the creature they saved is the shifter, and that they saved them when they were small and later repaid the debt using their giant size.

[shego1142]

I know yall probably know about poverty and generational poverty and what not but I just want to vent….

Because like… the things people don’t like know about generational poverty unless they’re experiencing it is just how… trapped you feel… weighed down by absolutely everything.

See I honestly think something may be up with our gas line

Which is a terrifying thought.

Now, idk if it’s a leak per se (though we’ve got the windows cracked just in case) but if we turn on our stove the gas smell is really strong, the flame flairs out of the sides of the stove, etc.

Shit that shouldn’t be happening.

Shit that is really fucking dangerous.

We know this is dangerous, we’re not stupid.

We know we should get it fixed.

But here’s the thing, okay?

The floors are just base boards, they’re falling in and there’s holes everywhere.

There’s rats that we’ve tried every trick in the book to get rid of, short of hiring an exterminator. We’ve borrowed traps, had traps “gifted” to us, tried poisons that friends and family have bought for us, etc. It cuts them down but they come back.

All of our food is in thick sealed plastic containers and yet they’ve eaten some of the containers open. They even ate our soap and makeup and cleaning supplies and that didn’t seem to stop them. (Our soap and cleaning supplies are now in plastic containers too but idk how long it will deter them, and the makeup is thrown away)

We have shoddy wiring in the house, done by my own grandpa back in the 70’s when they first bought this place.

Our roof has cracks in it that have failing patches, done by a family friend.

Our AC doesn’t exactly work very well and it’s been reaching 100°F weather (with 70% humidity no less) and to fix it we’d need $10k at least, but we’d also need new flooring, so it would likely be more than that…

Etc.

And like, it’s not that the house is dirty, but that it’s falling apart.

And here’s the deal… calling someone who knows what’s what about houses to check the stove means calling someone who is going to inspect the whole house, someone who’s going to say:

“hey uh, your gas is messed up and your electricity is messed up and so’s your plumbing… Your floors are bad… we have to condemn this house and if you can’t pay to fix it up then you’re going to lose it.”

And it’s not like we got this house and destroyed it by a lack of maintenance, this house is like, 50+ years old, and has been my home since I was born.

My grandma and I couldn’t take care of everything because my grandpa had Alzheimer’s and he was going downhill and it was me and her caring for him.

My health is really bad and I can’t work a regular day job because of it, but I haven’t been able to hire a lawyer to apply for disability, so we’re living off one income and whatever side gigs I can do from time to time.

We don’t have the money to pay the mortgage, buy groceries, pay the home insurance, the gas bill, pay medical bills, buy pet food, etc and also then pay for our house to be inspected and potentially condemned for things I didn’t even do in the first place, things that came before I inherited this house…

My whole family has been poor my whole life, from my great great grandparents to my parents, etc.

It was always “you don’t pay for a professional to fix it, you either fix it yourself or get a family member or a friend of a friend to fix it”

Which means that if we ask a building inspector to tell us what’s wrong with the house… well… it’s going to probably be everything. Because this house has never been “professionally” fixed, it’s only ever had family members and friends of family members slap duct tape over glaring issues and say they’ll only charge you a glass of sweet tea.

Which means it’ll probably cost nearly the entire value of the house to fix tbh.

I just feel like I’m on a ship that’s sinking and way more water is coming in than I could ever manage to get out. I keep trying to patch the leaks but the materials just not available, and besides, if I stop bailing out the water for even a second to go and try and patch the leak, I’ll go fully underwater.

And you know, it’s not fair. It’s not right that it’s like this. This is our home and we love it. This has been my home for years and we love this house, this land, the trees and plants that grow, everything here is loved. It’s cared for. We try to take pride in it.

But you wouldn’t know that because we’re too busy trying to bail out that sinking ship. We’re too busy from constantly working and cleaning and repairing.

It’s not okay that it’s set up that way. We need help, we need community. We should be able to call someone and be like “Hey, we love this house, we’ve never been late on a payment, we’ve worked our butts off to try and keep things going, but we need help. Can you look at everything this house needs to function and be in good condition and help us get those things?”

Like, hell a payment plan option would work, wouldn’t it? Why isn’t that the done thing?

I mean, I know why, the more houses that are taken from the poor means the more real estate that’s available for the rich, they’re already trying to make our whole neighbourhood into some corporate venture instead of a residential area. And besides, if they manage to make us homeless they’d be just as happy throwing us in jail for the “crime” of being homeless and poor and making money off free labour.

Like that’s why it’s normal practice not to help anyone keep their home when they actually have a home. The system is set up for you to fail unless your family is at least moderately wealthy.

It’s just such an unforgiving cycle. And I know I’m beating a dead horse with this vent. I know that like over half of America’s population is likely in the same shitty place we’re in.

It’s just… I’m so tired of being in cycles like these.

I’m too sick to work, too poor to afford to get on disability, and both too poor and too exhausted to go to the doctor to get proper treatment, and it’s just a loop.

I’m too exhausted to fix the house, too busy cleaning the house to rest, too exhausted to make money to have professionals help fix the house, rinse and repeat.

The house breaking down is very likely making me more sick, but I’m too sick to be able to get the house fixed.

My grandparents didn’t have money to fix the house, my parents don’t have money to fix theirs, I don’t have money to fix my house.

Every step forward is like ten steps backwards and I genuinely don’t know what the solution to all of this is.

I feel so fucking trapped. I don’t even have the energy to run a gofundme for myself to try and get the help we need, because it takes so so much to to actually get a gofundme up and off the ground, I have tried before and it’s always been a failure because I just literally never have enough energy for it.

We have so many things we’d love to do. We’d love to make this house into an eco-friendly, sustainable home, with solar panels and a huge garden. We want to make a farm stand with fresh eggs and vegetables and fruit and let it operate on an honour system, so anyone who needs food can take what they need and pay what they can, yes even if it’s $0. I want to crochet hats and mittens and set those out too, for sale or just for those who need them…

We want so badly to take care of our community… but it feels like our community isn’t there to support us, not because people don’t want to support one another but because we’re all trapped or are being prevented from supporting one another.

Because having a farm-stand means you need to buy business licenses… building a sustainable home means you need to buy a building permit.

Every step of the way feels like good intentions are wasted, road-blocked.

I can’t even begin to explain how many jobs I’ve applied to, writing, editing, working as a cook or a waiter, data entry, etc.

In school they told me I’d be able to do anything I wanted to. I was a “gifted” straight A student and as I’m sure many people on this site know, that’s not bragging. It’s the opposite. The school system, the system that is supposed to help me be successful in life, told me I would be, and now I would be lucky to make $7.25/an hour while living in a place where the minimum liveable wage is $35/an hour.

It costs $35 an hour for one person to live moderately comfortably in my town. And this isn’t an arbitrary number, it’s literally on our county’s government ran poverty assessment website.

And that’s not a thriving wage it’s a surviving wage. It’s Home, Food, Utilities, Transportation & Clothes.

It leaves no room for medical care, comfort, entertainment, etc.

So what the hell are those of us who are working for anything less than that, or those of us unable to work, supposed to do?!

And like I said, I know I’m preaching to a choir rn, I know everyone is experiencing some version of this. I just… I need to be able to express it from time to time. To talk about how unfair and ridiculous and needlessly cruel this is.

It’s so deeply flawed and evil that we’re unable to have legitimate health concerns inspected because we’re worried about the house being taken away from us.

It’s trash. It’s inhumane.

And if anyone has any like… suggestions or advice that would be great… I’m considering just having our gas service canceled by our gas company and buying a small electric grill instead… but our gas also powers our hot water heater so…

:/

[runningfrom2am]

the sea around us; chapter four

In which Rafe Cameron has to choose between his dad and a pogue who's changing his outlook on life more and more every day.

(rafe cameron x f!oc)

(eventual!jj maybank x f!oc)

warnings/tags: violence, drug/alcohol use, smoking, sexual content (if you squint), slowburn, older brother’s best friend, (these tags are obv not exhaustive but regardless it’s pretty PG13)

wc: 2.9k

my masterlist

series masterlist

requests

*:･ﾟ✧*:･

On our way back, we stopped at the wharf because there was a bunch of commotion surrounding the police pulling a body out on a stretcher. We stopped and asked someone what happened, and we were informed that the body was none other than Scooter Grubbs. A lifelong pogue who somehow recently came into possession of, drumroll please, a Grady White. Which was now missing. My heart absolutely broke for his wife, Lana, as we saw her fall apart next to the stretcher. I truly couldn't imagine. Watching it was bringing me to tears, so JJ grabbed me by my shoulders and rubbed my back as he guided me back onto the HMS Pogue.

The drive back to the chateau was almost silent. Which we can hardly ever stand, but I could tell we were all just thinking so hard about what on earth happened. Why did Scooter end up with a gun, that much cash, and a Grady White?

We hop out of the boat back at John B's house, and Pope senses that now is the time to break the silence. "So, we saw nothing. We know nothing. We need to have total and complete amnesia."

"Pope is right," JJ says, unloading Kie's cooler from the Pogue. "Deny, deny, deny."

"Guys, we also can't keep that money JJ took," Kie says, shaking her head.

"And the gun!" I add, looking around at everyone to scan their responses.

"Yes, definitely the gun." Kie agrees.

"Kie, not everyone can afford unlimited data plans." JJ rebuts, John B agreeing.

"JJ, the girls are right. This is insane." Pope says. As I said, our collective voice of reason. "We have to pass that off to Lana Grubbs."

"It's bad karma waiting to happen," Kie says.

"Not to mention a felony," I mumble, crossing my arms. "We've got to go totally dark."

"Exactly, and keep the money. No one will know we took anything if we don't return it." Kie, Pope, and I all simultaneously roll our eyes at JJ.

"No... No way." John B says, shaking his head as we all get up on the porch of the chateau and I lean on the edge of a chair.

"What? Why?" JJ asks, turning his hat backward as he approaches John B.

"Just think about it, this is Scooter Grubbs we're talking about. Some dude that's been buying cigarettes individually at the porthole. I have literally seen him beg for change in the grocery store parking lot so he could pay for gas." John B is right, this guy has never had a dime to his name. "We're talking about a dirtbag marina rat whose never had more than forty bucks in his pocket and all of a sudden-"

Kie cuts him off. "He's got a Grady White..."

"Just saying." John B says, raising his hands, mocking surrender as he sits down next to me.

"There's only one way he could have got his hands on all this shit," JJ says and I raise my eyebrow at him. "Well, two. One: Prostitution," I scoff. "or two: square groupers." He says smugly.

"Oh my god, the hurricane... He was smuggling." I say quietly, seeing the realization show up on everyone else's faces as well.

"Bingo, Snowy. I guarantee he was using it for straight smuggling. Probably a serious amount of contraband on board."

*:･ﾟ✧*:･

Later that night, of course, the topic gets brought up again. It's pretty much the only thing we can talk about tonight, one of the only things on our minds.

We find ourselves sprawled across John B's room at this point. John B sat at his window, with Pope on the bed, Kiara on a chair, and JJ at the window opposite of the bed right next to me. JJ leans back into me after Pope snatched the money in question from his hand. "For the record, if that is a smuggling ship with illegal contraband inside of it. . . It probably belongs to someone else."

Kie shrugged. "Minor details."

Pope continued as if he hadn't heard her. "They could come looking for it. Taking it would be catastrophically stupid."

JJ leaned forward and snatched the money back. Spreading it so they could all see the multiple hundred dollar bills as he said, "Right. Well, stupid things have good outcomes all the time." He glanced over his shoulder, gaze meeting mine as he grinned. I return the amused smile as JJ looks toward the others. "All we need to do is figure out a way to get into the cargo hold of that wreck. Until then, we just lay low. Act normal."

Pope seemed skeptical, as usual. "Right. And how exactly do we do that?"

My gaze meets Kie's, and slow smiles grow on our faces, and we raise our eyebrows at each other; we're definitely thinking the same thing.

Kie looks towards the others, grin widening. "Kegger?"

*:･ﾟ✧*:･

After we grab the keg and a few twelve packs for ourselves we make it out to the beach with cups, drinks, weed, and recycling bags (in Kie's case) in hand. It isn't long before we start to draw a crowd made up of kooks and pogues alike, along with some tourons. "Chum for the sharks", as John B would describe them- basically tourists on a vacation with their families, hoping to escape their parents for the evening.

John B and I are in charge of filling cups and handing out beers until we realize enough is enough and we're here to party. Not be bartenders. To be fair though, it was an almost "one for you, one for us" vibe, and we were already pretty drunk by the time the sun starts to set.

"Snowy! Come here!" Kie calls to me, holding out her hand. I can smell the weed on her, so it's clear what she and JJ have been up to.

"Hey." I smile, wrapping my arms around her waist when I walk up. "What can I do for you, Kie?"

"Nothing, I just missed you." Kie smiles, hugging me back.

"Kie, I need to borrow Snowy for a sec if that's cool-" It's JJ, and his arms are suddenly in between us pushing us apart as we both start laughing.

"Yeah okay, steal my friend, JJ. So rude." Kie giggles, pointing her fingers at her eyes and then at JJ as she turns to walk over to John B and Pope, where they're playing beer pong.

"What is up with drunk girls, man? You get one drink in you and just start mackin' all over each other." JJ asks, laughing as he has his arm around my waist, guiding me in the opposite direction.

"You're so dramatic, we were just hugging." I laugh, rolling my eyes and giving him a gentle shove, almost falling back myself in the process as I stumble over my own feet.

"Right- yeah so you're actually way more drunk than I thought you are, so maybe we should start to head back."

I'm not even that drunk. "I'm not even that drunk JJ, come on. What are we doing anyway? Where are you taking me?" I ask him, reaching up and putting my arm over his shoulders. It's not the most comfortable, since he's a decent amount taller than I am.

"A walk! What, I can't take my favorite girl for a walk these days?" JJ laughs, glancing back behind us. "Do you want to sit?" He asks, stopping. I nod and smile as he takes his shirt off, placing it on the ground for us to sit on.

I sit down on his shirt, crossing my legs in front of me and looking out at the sunset. JJ joins me, leaning his arm back behind me to hold himself up, and so I can lean back into him as well.

"It's beautiful," I say quietly, leaning my head on his shoulder and I can feel JJ's eyes on me.

"Yeah.." He agrees.

I glance down the beach at the party, seeing everyone back there having fun, the music sounds so distant.

"I miss BC." I sigh, my drunk mind letting me speak my every thought.

"Why?" JJ chuckles a little bit, pushing some of my hair out of my face with his free hand. "You wouldn't be a pogue and be friends with the coolest kids in the OBX if you were still up there. Besides, have you ever seen a sunset like this?" He asks.

I nod. "Yeah.. the sunsets back home were beautiful. This is too, duh, but so different. Watching the sunset over the mountains was something else. I miss watching them during bush parties. The vibe was similar, but everyone was miles from home with no service, everyone had a tent or their cars were loaded with blankets to sleep in, and you were surrounded by trees, sometimes on the side of a lake. The sun would start to set, then we'd get a bonfire going, and everyone would reek of smoke for the next week. It was.. special. Kegs would take me with him, I was too young to drink so he never let me, but he wanted to get me out of the house." I ramble on and JJ just listens. You wouldn't think he's a good listener, but he really is.

"I'm glad you moved. Maybe that's selfish of me." He says, smiling at me, his hand still on my cheek. I smile back. I can't tell if the beer just isn't sitting well, or if I have a million butterflies suddenly flying around in my stomach. I think it's the latter. "Maybe, if you don't mind, one day, we can all take a trip up there. I think that would be sweet." JJ suggests.

"Thanks, J. That's a nice idea. I don't know if the Twinkie would survive, though..." I trail off, getting more nervous as he stares into my eyes, scanning them, I wonder what he's thinking about. His eyes darted down for a split second to my lips, and I suddenly know. I should want this. I've been obsessed with him for years, I should want this, but something in my gut tells me I don't. I'm scared he'll just shut me out again- that he is just doing this to be cruel. "Maybe we should head back?" I ask, starting to get up. "It's getting pretty dark, I don't have my phone," I explain brushing off my butt and legs to make sure I'm not covered in sand. JJ gets up next to me silently, shaking off his shirt and putting it back on as we start to walk back.

"I just saw Sarah Cameron. She's here." Kie says, approaching us quickly as we rejoin everyone.

Translation: Sarah Cameron? Kook Princess, she has all of the boys in Kildare County falling at her feet. Kie's ex-best girlfriend- before me. Currently, her worst enemy. Daughter of Ward Cameron, real estate god of the Outer Banks, and younger sister of, you guessed it, Rafe Cameron.

"Oh god," I sigh, I already know this won't go down well if any contact is made. "I wonder if Rafe is here," I ask, more to myself than to Kie.

"What, Rafe? Why?" She asks me, tilting her head to the side and I can feel JJ's gaze burning into me, making me blush.

"No reason, I was wondering if maybe Kegs was here, they're hardly ever apart."

"Right, well if Sarah's here, that means Topper is here. If Topper is here, Rafe and Kegs are probably here, so yeah." Kie says, pausing for a second of confusion partway through her sentence so she could remember what she was saying.

I nod slightly and scan the crowd, looking for anybody familiar. John B walks us to us, wrapping his arms around me and Kie's shoulders. "How are my favorite girls?" He asks, rubbing our heads to mess up our hair. They know we both hate it. "Having fun?" He asks, just as I see Kegs approaching me, quickly. I push John B off and start to walk towards my brother, so he doesn't get involved with my friends. I notice he's with Topper, but no Rafe today. The beach parties were never his scene, though, as far as I know.

"Snowy, what are you doing?" Kegs asks me, he's angry, of course.

"Nothing! Jesus Christ- I can't hang out with my friends for one night." I say, pushing him back angrily. He hardly budges. "What do you want?"

"Sarah said she saw you making out with JJ," Kegs said, and I hear someone walking up behind me.

"Hey, yeah so that literally didn't happen." It was JJ, and he cut in before I could explain the same thing.

"You're a fucking liar," Kegs said, getting up in JJ's face now, but he doesn't falter.

"Kegs. Just fuck off." I sigh, running my hand through my hair. "She didn't see anything."

"I'm not lying, man. I promise you, the second I get the chance to mack on your sister, the whole damn world will know." JJ says, taking a step closer to my brother, moving so he's standing in front of me. "I'll call you personally." In shock, I look back at Kie, seeing her put her face in her hands and shake her head- even Pope and John B can see that that was not the right response.

I can see Kegs get super tense, and he pushes JJ back slightly and raises his arm, but I step in and grab his wrist. "Don't you dare, Kegs! Are you kidding?" I say, trying to prevent him from taking a swing at JJ. "He's just trying to rile you up, he's literally joking."

He's breathing heavily, refusing to look at me. "Kegs, you're drunk. Go the fuck home." I say, trying to shove him back again. Just then, Pope comes in and wraps his arms around me, lifting me up and pulling me back, as John B steps in next to JJ. They can tell that I'm not making a difference here. "No! Pope, seriously put me down. Nothing happened, my brother is being a dick." I try to explain. "Sarah's a fucking liar!" I shout, pointing my finger at her as I try to wiggle out of Pope's grip- but it's almost hopeless.

"Watch your mouth!" Topper says angrily, beginning to walk over.

"Hey, man, wait, she didn't mean it," Pope says, trying to diffuse the situation as he covers my mouth with his hand. I'm so mad, but more embarrassed right now.

Just then, I hear gasps and grab at Pope's arms as his grip loosens on me, JJ threw the first punch after my brother wouldn't. Fuck.

"Kegs! Kegs don't- I'm sorry, don't hurt him!" I shout, feeling tears run down my cheeks now as Pope quickly dropped his hand in shock. "Leave him alone!" It didn't matter. They start fighting, and JJ pushes my brother back, turning for a second to catch his breath.

"Dirty fucking pogues.." Kegs says, making John B turn from JJ's side and shove my brother back again.

Kegs is fucking delusional.

He pushes John B back into the water, and they keep fighting despite all of us screaming.

"Kegs, please! Stop!" I shout, but I can tell neither of them can hear anything. "What do we do?" I ask my friends, and when they all stand in shock, I run from Pope's grip and grab my brother, who's now kneeling over John B, whose head is in the water.

"He's drowning him- JJ, do something!" I hear Kie say, as I try desperately to push Kegs off, but he lets go of John B with one hand to shove me off of him. Pretty much as soon as I hit the water, everyone gasps and then gets quiet. Very uncharacteristic for fight spectators, until I hear a click, and push my wet hair out of my eyes and see what's happening.

"Yeah, you know what that is, your move, broski."

"Oh, my god." I start backing up, scrambling to stand up. Kie is already at my side and I hug her, hug her so hard, and put my face in her shoulder, pretending that this isn't really happening. It doesn't work. I peek back up to watch, to make sure everything is okay. That Kegs is okay.

"JJ, stop!" Everyone is yelling at him now.

Kegs lets go of John B and raises his hands, I look briefly over at Topper and Sarah and they look freaked. We all are. Everyone on the beach starts to run as JJ turns and raises the gun in the air. "Okay, everybody listen up!" He shouts. "Get the hell off our side of the island!" He shoots two warning shots up into the air.

John B finally sits up out of the water, and Kie and I rush over to him. "John B, oh my god." I give him a big hug and then Kie helps him up as I run over to my brother who's starting to leave.

"Kegs! Kegs are you okay?" I ask, but he still won't look at me. "Kegs, look at me!" I shout and he stops, turning to me angrily.

"You're psycho friend just put a gun to my fucking head- Snow. Just wait until Mom and Dad hear this. I could have died! Your friend tried to kill me!"

"You were drowning John B! He wasn't going to shoot you he just wanted you to stop. Please, Kegs.." He clearly didn't want to hear it, and he starts walking away, catching up with Topper and Sarah.

Shit.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･

[sweetdreamspootypie]

🙃

I'm flying out tomorrow

Had a good night tonight

But

Vent / processing / just capturing some of the stuff I've been thinking about

It's so strange how different my worldview is because I'm a Covid nurse

Or maybe everyone else is insane

Who is to say

TW car accident, child injury

Managed to go see the last set of cousins tonight

My aunt was like

" oh yeah last few days I've been really sick

Had a really bad flu

Still coughing actually

But we don't believe in taking to our beds for just a flu lol"

And my cousin mentioned she doesn't know when the last time she took a RAT test was. Didn't even recognize the name. Said "oh yeah that's kind of outdated"

And NOBODY I've talked to has even been aware that there are still Covid booster vaccines happening and relevant?

They only ever had the initial course of 3 or 4 and then stopped? Didn't even know that further boosters are a thing at all?

and cousin told me that you don't take time off work for Covid here because it's not considered life threatening anymore

What the fuck is wrong with england

Why would you invite guests over if you actively have the flu?

Fuck man

Like it was actually a pretty good evening and it will probably be fine

But it's just so weird seeing the increasing divide in basic values

Like yeah I value hard work and discipline and etc etc and I want to get better at it

But how do these people value self care so little?

Idk I'm just hyper aware of it as well bc of my family's thing with chronic fatigue syndrome and how precarious wellbeing is

But also stuff like

Hard work is "being responsible" because idk doing your part at work on the project or whatever

But in my line of work

If I don't rest

If I don't eat or take my breaks or I haven't been sleeping well or burn out

Then I cannot provide the healthcare to others that is needed

I've got such vivid visceral memories of standing there as I'm realizing I need to hit the medical emergency big red button, at times when I'm over tired and not feeling my best self

Feeling my words and thoughts running like treacle and just being so aware of oh shit I'm not actually up for being responsible for this right now actually

And when I'm in that state and the adrenaline hits, it just makes it worse

I can feel my heart pounding in my ears and my dehydration headache and having to muster ok I have to be reassuring and communicative and make sure I'm dexterous enough to manage a complex situation

And if I can't manage it, people get hurt

And there's a very real risk that someone gets closer to death than they needed to, or would have if I had been on the ball and my best self

The other day, on Monday

I had a coffee at 12 noon

It was a really nice rich mocha from a chocolate specialist

I'm not accustomed to caffeine any more these days, so I was awake until 4am Monday night

On Tuesday night, despite being tired, I was also awake til 3am because of the disturbance to my sleep schedule it caused

On Wednesday, I was feeling gross from the sleep disturbance. I went to my room and tried to take an afternoon nap

At 4pm on Wednesday, there was a car accident outside of our house. A car hit a 3 year old child crossing the road with his mother.

My dad came to get me because I'm a nurse and that's my job.

When he came in I was in a groggy half asleep haze

I had my shoes on and was out the door but was still carrying a head of groggy haze

The kid was fine

Someone else was checking him out, asking all the right questions

And within a couple of minutes an ambulance arrived, and got to do a further assessment

It looked like the child had a bit of a bumped knee, probably from where he fell, but was otherwise just fine

Mum with him was being a champion at visibly keeping it together until tonight after the kids are put to bed, when she'll fall apart

I was able to be there to see that it was under control and looked on until the ambulance arrived

But I was so aware that I wouldn't able to clearly speak. Wouldn't be able to project calming competence with even just the simple fact of introducing myself as a health worker available if needed

Everything was fine

But if it hadn't been

I would not have been able to fulfil my role

Because I hadn't taken proper care of myself

I'm going to remember my guilt over one badly planned coffee I had on Monday, for years

Because my job is to be the one who knows how to make it alright when everything is wrong

Why the fuck can't other people do the simple things like isolate if sick

And not expose illness to people going back to the home of their 89 year old grandmother

I don't want to live to work

I want to live well

And wellness and happiness are important values and resources

And not contradictory with working hard to make progress on goals

People need to learn to rest

I didn't realize how bad it was

[peppered-moths]

im back, having you considered love from the otherside for flower husbands. something something having been through this whole cycle so many times that their relationship has changed so much each time but they're both still so lodged in the others heart that they cannot shake each other even if they wanted to. do they love it? do they hate it? who knows! -screamingallium

welcome back, always a pleasure to have you :D

i do like this one a lot, and now i have time to write a whole analysis post, so:

"Model house life meltdown still a modern dream letdown, it kills me" - I imagine this is a reference to 3rd life's afterlife, because it's clear that something changes between 3rd and last life. something something they realized that love in the middle of a death game isn't the most stable kind of relationship something something.

"Like a kid playing pretend in his father's suit" - this isn't even really flower husbands related, I just think it's very jimmy-esque. he's always pretending to be something he's... just kind of not. (the bad boys are pushovers THERE I SAID IT /aff)

"Sending my love from the other side of the apocalypse / And I just about snapped, don't look back" - "you have 30 seconds to run." "i gave you the pufferish of peace!" yeah. they show love in the only ways they really know how any more; scott repeats old patterns, doomed to forever trace his own footsteps. jimmy gives him a head start. he goes against all instinct. he's not red, but it's still hauntingly familiar. he could have killed scott right then. he doesn't. what is love without sacrifice?

"Nowhere left for us to go but Heaven / Summer falling through our fingers again / And you were the sunshine of my lifetime / What would you trade the pain for?" - 3rd life AGAIN. all they had left was the afterlife, but that fell apart. what's left? what would you trade for the chance? what would you give for everything to be simple again? i don't think they know either.

"We're taught we gotta get ahead, yeah, no matter what it takes / But there's no way off the hamster wheel on this rat race" - jimmy's running out of time. he doesn't really want to kill scott. he would rather it be someone else. what do you think it's like, watching your life tick away in plain sight? scott doesn't forgive him, i don't think. he said no, you can't have my time, why couldn't jimmy listen? he thinks he understands a little better now, yellow running through his veins.

"Every lover's got a little dagger in their hand" - i think this could apply to a lot of things. jimmy chases scott. scott chases jimmy. they both never kill each other. it would be like crossing a line, like pretending what they were had never happened. it would be like falling out of love, while still being horribly, painfully in love. it could also apply to martyn (MAJORWOOD JUMPSCARE /j). jimmy thinks, that maybe, if scott really loved him, he would let him have the time. surely scott knows jimmy would never hurt him on purpose? but he lets martyn do it instead. it hurts. it... hurts. a lot.

"I saw you in a bright clear field, hurricane heat in my head / The kind of pain you feel to get good in the end, good in the end / Inscribed like stone and faded by the rain: "Give up what you love / Give up what you love before it does you in…"" - 3rd life. am i getting redundant? yes. do i care? no. scott mourned jimmy, and it led almost directly to his death. he's always had a self-sacrificing instinct, despite being a survivor. the grief is still there. he thinks, if he ever found a way back to that world, knelt before his husband's grave again, he wouldn't be the same. nothing would ever be the same. the world hasn't been in color for a long time. jimmy doesn't understand. he's right here. there's no need for grief! we're both still here. he's never watched anyone die. permanently, that is. the canary curse lifts its wings. scott mourns. jimmy doesn't think he can wait for someone who's ideals of him are stuck in a past life.

"Sending my love"

[loungingbear]

I hope someday, I can live without fearing I've said something wrong, that every choice I make is a mistake, not to be called a victim. I feel like a fucking loser for not letting go of shit that's been long over, for over half of my life span. I hate that I feel like my pain isn't valid. I've had to grow up with an alchoholic mother and a drug addict father that didn't give enough of a damn about their son. I had to grow up masking around a shitty crowd of people that were my only chance of not feeling alone, even in that shitty racist hell hole of a town. Having to know my father is in jail as I graduated. Being left alone somewhere because dad decided to get drunk and just throw me anywhere. Better than when I have to sit alone in the dark and wait for a mother to return because I can't stay at my grandparents because my drunken father nearly assaulted me, again. Having to run to a friends house to call the police to because I was afraid he'd hurt my mom. The same mother who took in a dangerous piece of shit, who constantly harassed me along with his children. Growing up having to constantly leave home, because dad is drinking again. Coming home to blood in the carpet and a gun on the couch, but having to get ready and dressed for school. Having brothers and sisters that don't give a rats ass about you, hating you because "your parents love you more." If you wanted their fucking love, you could have had it. Cutting off all of them now so I can have a bit of brevity. But at least I had friends during all this time right? My best friend set me up with someone who's homophobic, almost outed me to my parents via valentines grams at my school and constantly harassed me until I was finally out of school. Only one person from that town, I still care about, and I probably won't ever see her again. But at least online was alright though right? No, ontop of everyhing, online I was stupidly trying to make friends with people, falling in with people who turned out to be gross fucking people of the furry fandom. If anyone knows of the names, Tamias6, Skorksis, Tanookicatoon. It fucking sucks growing up knowing what's right, when you see the cracks in the people who you thought you could FINALLY FUCKING TRUST. AND YOU HAVE TO LEAVE, BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT SAFE FOR YOU, OR ANYONE. But really, nothing tops Tokimasu Blazer. Imagine, you find a group of friends you finally feel at home with, you get close to someone specific in the group. They pretend they've killed themselves. And now you have to sit there while everyone else freaks out. And what would you do? I told everyone the truth. Tokimasu came back, miffed that he couldn't just slink off. Now threatening suicide for real. It's too the point I can hardly talk about my feeling anymore, this being here, is a fucking miracle I was able to say any of this. I never feel like I can ever get any sort of break. All I've ever felt like I've had in life, is to lose everything I thought I'd hold dear, for all of it to ALWAYS fall apart. Even friendships that felt stable, I've watched people just grow and leave, knowing them before their current sonas even. I don't even know where to go from here anymore, my whole life is a fucking mess and I have no idea how to.. do anything about it. I'm trying to do therapy, but my first.. legitimate checkup in probably a decade is in November. Going to try and get to therapy or something. At this point, I'm just a hermit, curled up in my room, self medicating, just hoping things will get better. But the way I look outside and here the news, I feel like the world is going to end this year. Probably why I took the time to type this out, because I have so little hope anymore for anything.

[rat-prophetess]

10 and 9 from the pathologic ask game!

Ty!! :D

9- I think the only thing that stresses me out in terms of mechanics is the feeling that there's probably some important side quest/interaction/piece of information that didn't show up in the quest log or letters that I just totally forgot about. Also the fucking rats. I just want to catch you and put you in my pocket so I can bet on you in a race later! I love you stop trying to eat me! please you are such a small target to hit I just bought these boots.

10- !!! Everything! For so many reasons! I think overall it's just that it felt very familiar from the beginning.

[OK this might be long and somehow both tmi and boring at the same time, so uh feel free to skip.] *Shockingly*, I'm sure, I am in fact Officially Mentally Ill™ and my personal depression has a lot of dissociative symptoms attached. Unfortunately I grew up in a house where We Don't Believe In Mental Illness, so I spent a lot of years feeling absolutely nothing and just wandering around in this fog feeling like my body was just a marionette kind of moving on its own while I just watched and couldn't do anything about it. I was told that I was perfectly normal and there was nothing wrong with me at all (because if we all just pretend hard enough...) so I thought that was just it. If there's nothing wrong with me then there's nothing to fix and this is just how it is on this bitch of an earth, c'est la vie pas le paradis, etc. Life is just tracing the same paths over and over and nothing changing except that it kept falling apart and getting worse. I felt totally cut off from the rest of humanity because I didn't feel like a real person in the same way that everyone else was a real person.

Do you see where I'm going with this lolll. being dropped into Patho classic and feeling like there's just. something a little bit off all the time and no one else seems to notice it. The buildings are the wrong size inside; everything feels kind of artificial, like it might just be a stage set; sometimes you have the same conversations over and over. You trace the same routes day after day, and it really does feeling like being blood moving through a vein, and meanwhile everything is deteriorating around you. The characters are horrified and frustrated to learn that they're just dolls and feel helpless and like they have no control over their own actions or fates. So I was like HEY SHE'S JUST LIKE ME FR!!!!! <333 They get me <3

It's always a relief to find a piece of art that makes you feel genuinely understood. Any experience/idea/belief that you have no way of communicating is really isolating, but as soon as someone else gives it a name or an image or a narrative form, it suddenly feels like a real shared human experience. It's like learning the word тоска and realizing oh, my language doesn't have a word for that feeling but there is a word for it! That's validation, babeyyyy! The whole game is like that. Also I'm v attached to the characters now. None of them are even a little ok at any time. <3 I love them. Everyone in the town is either queer, kind of fucked-up, or queer AND kind of fucked-up. High School Friend Group Simulator right there.

Ok sorry probably none of that makes sense bc it's almost 3am but uh. Good thing we're all used to reading long, cryptic dialogue that might be pretentious and makes no sense! It's thematic! Anyway I'll shut up now.

[lucymultistan]

BTS Masterlist

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ALL CREDIT GOES TO THE CREATORS! I HAVE NOT WROTE ANY OF THESE, MY BLOG WILL BE TAGGED IN MY BIO

Key: !=Smut  #=Fluff  $=Angst

Full Fics: 

Little do you know     !#$

Summary: In a world where idols and actors can’t date, whether it be because of contracts, lack of time, or the dangers that involve having your personal life leaked, the market opened up for a new work field. Playmate Agencies emerged to supply the entertainment world with highly trained companions for hire. Bangtan is looking for new playmates. And you just happen to be the one all of them choose. 

Recrudecence       !#$

It’s nearly easy as breathing (for six of them, at least) for BTS to pretend to be just like everyone else - humans with big dreams and aspirations. But one person brings the façade crashing to the ground and for some reason, they just can’t let her go. 

Time                !#$

Summary: Time. It's always passing by, always changing things that you wish stayed the same. It brought the good and it brought the bad, hell it brought the down right best time in your life. The best thing in your life came with time. It came with some stumbled steps, tough spots...it came with time.

Unorthodox        !#

Summary: You meet BTS on vacation and everything is awesome!

Sh.                !#$

SERIES SUMMARY Six months of quarantine have kept you apart. Somehow the distance sparks something new in each of you: questions, unfinished conversations, threads once chased now left cold. So when your roommate invites you to come with him to a mysterious house in the mountains with your friends, how could you even think of saying no? 

Eidolons             !#$

Summary: To live in an old manor in the middle of nowhere filled with historical, cultist, and most probably cursed relics for a year is part of the will your mysterious grandaunt bestowed onto you. It's all good until the seven men arrive, looking for a place to stay. Or so you've been told. But these men aren't actually guests; they've been in your attic for a lot longer than you think, waiting to be freed. The longer you spent time with them, the more you feel like you know them. And they seem to know you like the back of their hands, too. When you find yourself falling in love with not one, but all of them, you'll soon realize that the the truth can be painful to swallow and they will learn that freedom comes at a cost.

Relax, it's our honeymoon        !#

You and BTS are in a poly relationship, and have recently gotten married. It’s time for your honeymoon!  

To Build a Home              !#$

Summary: With the government's hydrid sector hot on your tails (no pun intended), you have less than a year to solve the problem before they're legally allowed to take you in as a lab rat. What you didn't anticipate was the addition of 6 new members of yours and Jin's happy duo. Luckily you both had enough love for 6 others. 

The Households Bunny             !#$

Summary: You were a cam girl and OnlyFans creator all the while you were a senior in college. A series of events leads you to be living with seven men under the same roof of one renovated motel. Entering the life of rich, and touch starved, men as a less than rich, but similarly touch starved, woman is bound to hold some shenanigans

The Gentlemen                          !#$

Summary:Sick of unsatisfying hookups, boring relationships or the company of your own hand? Apply today for the chance to be on bangasm.com’s very first reality show! Seven attractive young gentlemen will be vying for your choice of who is best in bed. All from different backgrounds, these men claim they’ll be able to rock your world, so don’t hesitate! Apply now!

Oh My Lucifer!                            !#$

Summary: In hopes of achieving a high mark in your final exam you're willing to give up anything, including your soul. However when your drunken joke of a ritual suddenly comes true, how do you even begin to explain your logic to the seven demon lords seated in front of you.

Void                !#$

Summary: You are the only female crew member on a 12 year space mission with seven handsome men. The sexual tension is real, y’all.

One-shots/ drabbles:

Alpha goes first          !!!!

Summary: Each pack has its own set of traditions and standards and as the newest omega in bangtan’s pack- you have more than a few things to learn. things come to a head when the youngest alpha tries to breed you before your pack alpha does. Seokjin doesn’t like that one bit.

The Kings bride              !!!!!!

Untitled            !#

Summary: In which Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook see your true colors.

[amimuu]

✨So I finally decided to dump my au into here. Share it with the rats✨

—You have a garden in your house, you love your garden and take care of all the flowers, however you’ve been noticing they’ve been withering without apparent reason lately.

One day while going out to the garden, you find a single, healthy tiny flower. As you notice it is alone, surrounded by all the bigger plants, you feel pity for it, and, in an act of goodwill, you decide to take care of it.

However, what you didn;t know was that said flower would grow and grow until the garden was left completely unsalvageable, because that little flower was actually just the first of thousands, waiting to grow and consume the garden whole.

If you had plucked it out, however, you would’ve noticed the roots and you could’ve saved your garden—

*proceeds to dump apparently non-important chunk of text onto you* Anyways...

The basics of the overal plot :)

Winter, 2007. After his father's death, Adam's life completely started falling apart. Slowly, he fell out of his routine and the only times he dragged himself out of bed were to check on his dad's old room or to leave the house for says, unable to deal with just how empty everything felt after Jude left.

Just as he believed he was about to hit rock bottom, an old friend of his reintroduced themselves into his life. Empathetic yet stubborn, Jonah managed to drag him out of the Hole he was falling into and slowly but surely, piece him back together into his old self for the better, or for the worse—because, being honest, what would he be without them?—

The main story follows Adam, but there's a little subplot :)

Back in 1992, a troubled Cesar searches for ways in which he can help his best friend, Mark, who seems to be going through a tough time with his parents, as each day their fights and discussions become more frequent and there's hardly any peace at his house. Cesar knows Mark wants to speak up about it but feels insecure about what his parents' reaction to him saying anything would be. Besides, he has begun to close himself up, going outside less and less and just staying in his room all day listening to his mom's cassettes or re-reading his books, trying to ignore all the yelling outside. So, Cesar has set it as his goal to help in any way he can—But of course, a good intention isn't enough to fix a problem—

I can't spoil much because i want to keep the element of surprise but yes! There is a catch to all of this. This au was planned as some sort of metaphor to the healing/grieving process...Mostly on Adam side, but I like to think grief can come for various reasons and in different forms. But still. On Adam's side, it is about grief and healing, trying to ignore the problem because as long as you don't think about it, it can't hurt you; but it's always there, present, in the back of your mind, growing bigger and bigger the more you ignore it, until it becomes too much and it collapses on you all at once...

While Mark is more about obsessing over said problem, overthinking again and again what could and couldn't have been done to avoid getting into it in the first place, trapping yourself inside an endless cycle that continues to worsen every time it repeats, and starts over...

And with all this said you may have made yourself an idea of the basic plotof the au. YAY!

It is planned to be a multi-ending interactive au on twitter, since those are of the thing right now over there, but I would very much like to post it here too cuz yeah. This place seems more chill about new aus and stuff...However, i do have planned for the 1992 sub-plot to happen in a fic. It'll probably be up on ao3 when the time comes :)

Oh, one last thing. That big chunk of dialogue. Thats how choices will work in the au. Because, the reasonable option isnt always going to be the one that gets you to the better outcome.

and now: the doodles i have made *dumps them onto you*:

main dodles i did- there are more but i think i'll post them later heh

Anyways...If you have any questions about anything feel free to dump it onto my q&a cuz I would absolutely love to answer ya'll.