#it’s also just. very fitting. Althyran as the dream visitor

[the-eldritch-it-gay]

shaking your hand in 'the dream visitor is a haunting', so how WOULD majexatli feel waking up to see dream visitor althyran for the first time?

I think there’s so much racing through their head. Like, on the one hand they’re terrified, suddenly once again facing the man who took so much from them and who they ran away from decades ago. As much as they believe everything that happens is their fault and don't reflect on the way Althyran was manipulating them and had so much power over them, they also can’t deny that it was Althyran that very publicly blamed them for what happened to them which led to their loss of status in the circle. And losing the circle meant losing literally the only home they ever had and the only family they ever had.

So there’s that but also, seeing him after all this time suddenly throws into perspective the way their relationship wasn’t health or balanced. Because Majexatli has spent at least 2 decades now away from him and becoming their own independent person, and when they see him and instantly fall back into the way they were when they were a teen they can see how different it is. When they first was involved with Althyran, they had never had so much as a friend, let alone a partner, they had no frame of reference for what was healthy or normal back then, they had no idea that things could be different, they had no idea that things could be better, but now they do and can see just the world of difference between how they are now and who they were with Althyran.

On the other hand, though, the dream visitor first appears when Majexatli’s about to transform, when they’re feverish and nauseated and weak and he shows up to help them and. Isn’t that what Majexatli wanted? Those decades ago, when they were weak and barely hanging on after their attack? Majexatli had tried to reach out for Althyran’s hand, both when they were in the cave before the attack and when they were on a cot in the infirmary after it. But Althyran wasn’t there, he pulled away, abandoned them, ridiculed them. All Majexatli wanted was to be comforted by him, to be loved by him.

The Dream Visitor coming to save them, to help them, that’s what they always wanted from Althyran. How can they resist that? Even though they have the knowledge now to realize how what was between them wasn’t healthy and in fact was incredibly abusive and exploitative, even though they can’t help being afraid, they’ve never been able to resist Althyran as much as they hate that, and they can’t deny how much they’ve wanted him to take care of them. One of their biggest things they grapple with, is they still cling to the dreams they once had of marrying Althyran and having a family, and the fact that they cling to the belief that if they had been better or if they hadn’t been so scarred by the attack that maybe Althyran would have actually loved them.

They know it isn’t a dream, because their dreams aren’t kind, the dreams with Althyran almost never are. But it doesn’t cross their mind that it might be an ilithid trick until the next day when they hear their companions mention the dream figure and what it said to them.

I do think the next morning, they stay on their bedroll and the others go off to work on the quests. And they just lay there, awake, just unable to grapple with it all and not wanting to let the others see them like that.