Tumgik
#it’s a guy in a box with dryer hoses on his legs
juuneaux · 2 years
Text
Star Wars is truly at its peak when the droids are practical and semi-shitty looking which is honestly just to say that I get an instant boost of serotonin when a gonk droid shows up
Tumblr media
Look at this thing it sucks and I love it
51K notes · View notes
cannedapricot · 6 years
Text
Road Trip with! NCT Dream
Tumblr media
the album,,,,,,, the mv,,,,,, i’m soft don’t touch me,,,,,,,,,,,, here’s a road trip au based on their mv to let my uwus out. also this gif makes me hella emo
hello
so i know school has started in most countries
but for this au, pretend that you’re still on summer vacation!!
aka what i wish i was on rn ugh
anyways!!
high schoolers! dream!!!
except-
mark’s already graduated high school
and will head off to his uni after the summer ends
then donghyuck, jeno, jaemin and renjun’s gonna graduate before next year summer
which really means
that it’s gonna be the last summer of your crew as high schoolers
this thought didn’t really go through your head until a week before school starts
when the 00 line fucking shows up at your door with their bags already packed
and bright smiles
you’re just like-
????when did we agree on a sleepover????
“hEY YOU UP FOR A ROAD TRIP TO COMMEMORATE OUR LAST SUMMER AS HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS?”
“uh-”
“come on, dear y/n, it’s not like you were planning on doing anything else”
you eyes narrow 
becaUSE DID THEY JUST ASSUME YOU HAD NOTHING TO DO
i mean,,,, they’re right tho,,,,, all you’ve done all summer is laze at home because it’s way too hot outside,,,,,,,,but,,,,,,,,,,,,
“can,,,,, you even drive tho”
“hahHAHAHAHAHAH DONGHYUCK? DRIVE?” 
“i even don’t trust him with my fish what makes you think i trust him with the wheel”
“okAY JUST BECAUSE I FAILED MY DRIVING TEST TWICE DOESN’T MEAN YOU GUYS CAN BULLY ME”
fuck no one’s sane here
but what’d you really expect from two jocks and two art geeks
the same jocks and geeks that pushed you back into your own home and watched as you packed
wipes away tear
“why am i always forced to do dumb shit with you guys”
“whAT DO YOU MEAN????”
and so you were pushed out the door after having a word with your parents
who only agreed to let you go cause they deemed renjun trust worthy
because he’s the only one who at least acts normal around your parents
“whoSE CAR ARE WE EVEN U S I N G- oh”
right on the curb parked mark’s old and stuttering blue car.
on which he sat in the driver’s seat, trying to get the old thing to play music
“are you sure we’re not gonna die”
“nope, but it’s the only car we have available”
jeno whispered in response, throwing your bag in the trunk
“ah, y/n, i see you’ve been successfully dragged into hyuck’s dumb idea”
donghyuck climbs into the passenger seat next to mark, 
flipping his friend off in the proccess
“you are all here because we are all friends and we love each other”
you, being squashed in the back seat:
“no - not really”
“wtf jaemin there’s another row of seats in the back stOP TRYING TO PUSH ME OUT”
“BUT I WANNA SIT WITH Y/N????”
“fucking donghyuck”
“WHY ME???? WHAT HAVE I DONE????”
wow great start to your trip 10/10
picking up chenle and jisung literally took five seconds
they lived next to each to each other
and it only took one excited nod from chenle for jisung to tag along
and that’s the story of how you ending up being in a shotty blue car with seven teenage boys
miles from home on an empty ass road
screaming the lyrics to micheal jackson songs into the heat (thanks to dj haechan)
at least mark got the speakers to work again
“wherE ARE WE EVEN GOING???”
“IDK LOL”
“WAIT WHATTHEFUCJ-”
at one point, jisung and chenle at the back decided to sit up onto the car, with their legs on their seats
“I’M PRETTY SURE THAT’S ILLEGAL AND DANGEROUS”
“yOlO!!1!1!!!1”
“how the fuck do i disown them”
“push them off”
everything was going swimmingly
until the car breaks down in the middle of the road
“i knew this was gonna happen sighs”
mark then jumps out to check the hood
then immediately notices something wrong rip
“hyuck, pass me the box in the glove box.”
“you’re prepared???? does this happen often or????”
so mark tries to fix the car in the blistering heat with renjun nagging beside him, holding an umbrella to hide the two of them from the sun
whilst the rest of you start playing uno on the back of the car
multiple times, not once, buT MULTIPLE TIMES
CHENLE HAS LOOKED AT YOUR CARDS
HE’S DOESN’T EVEN TRY DEFEND HIMSELF WHEN YOU POINT IT OUT
WHAT A LITTLE SNAKE
“FOR FUCKS SAKE ZHONG CHENLE IF U DON’T STOP I SWEAR-”
jisung won every round 
which made the rest of you bond trying to break his win streak
“jeno do you have a plus four to screw him up with”
“i only have a green plus two if that helps”
and that kinda goes on until mark lee emerges from behind the raised hood, telling y’all to give the car a push
“yeah just a second, jisung’s finally losing-”
“hA YOU THOUGHT”
THROWS DOWN FIVE NINES
INFURIATING
everyone grumbles as they hop off and start pushing
“lets just put our rage into pushing this stupid car”
which ends up moving easier than y’all thought it would
so the seven of you stumble a little when the car started moving by itself
mark nearly drove away himself lmao
made the group of you chase after the car for a moment lmAO
you wished he did drive off though because the second the car starting moving with everyone back on,
he yells,
“lET’S GET IT”
“siri where’s the nearest bus stop to get home”
“HSEGFSUEF NO I’M SORRY :C”
then as the day slowly got darker,
your screams didn’t die down lol
the latest feud was over chocolate vs vanilla
and you honestly think about how you got stuck in a group of dumbasses
“remember when hyuck hated jaemin and jeno back in freshman year lol”
“nO SHUT UP RENJUN”
“LMAO DIDN’T HYUCK DISLIKE THEM BECAUSE THEY CHUCKED A BASKETBALL AT HIS HEAD”
“what you still remember that? i’m sorry hyuck :’cccccc”
“NO JENO I’VE FORGIVEN YOU AGES AGO- FUCKING RENJUN-”
the group of dumbasses did make you laugh though
so maybe it wasn’t so bad
night then came and the conversation finally started to tone down
mark pulls to the side of the road 
“let’s call it a night, yeah?”
the rest of you mumble in agreement
“our last summer as high schoolers huh”
you hum, running your hands through jaemin’s freshly dyed candyfloss hair
“but will anything change even if you guys graduate?”
chenle asks from the back, head on jisung’s shoulder
“not much, i don’t think. we just won’t see each other as much.”
it was a clear night, and the stars were brighter than ever
everyone was staring up at the night sky, enjoying the cool breeze
“we always have summer right?”
a round of agreement sounded before jeno cuts through-
“does this mean we’re going on another road trip next year?”
“way to ruin the mood jeno”
“oh please no, i don’t think i can handle another one with you dumb fucks”
lies
you loved every moment with them
“this is a cute moment and all, but can jaemin get off of us now?”
renjun asked, referring to the long boy sprawled on top of jeno, renjun and you
“i was planning on sleeping in this position tho-”
he didn’t get to finish his sentence before the three of you pushed him off
mark chuckled before leaving his seat to pull the hood over the open seats
“good night”
you were shook awake by mark the next day, greeted with a sky that wasn’t even awake
“what’s going on?”
“fancy watching the sunrise?”
turns out, mark woke up earlier than the rest of you and drove to an empty beach to watch the sunrise together :’)))))))
you stumbled out of the car, legs soft from sitting for too long, finding the rest of the boys sitting on the hood of the car and on the concrete in front
donghyuck pats the space next to him and you hop on top of the creaky car
“is this safe”
“probably not”
“ o h “
it’s all quiet before the sun starts coming up
then gasps were heard and wishes were made
and it was all heartwarming :”)))))
before all of you made a dash to the cold ass water
trying to chuck mark in
“whY ME????? I DROVE Y’ALL HERE”
“YOU’RE LEAVING THAT’S WHY”
“SBRGOSBEGOSBAE??????”
S P L O S H
chenle was screaming the entire time
then one idiot cough hyuck cough accidentally chucks sand into mark’s blue car
which then leads to mark pulling the squad into a self wash station
“come one guys let’s wash this car together!!1!1! wE’rE aLl In ThIs ToGeThEr”
“wow i suddenly dont know you”
then some idiot coUGH HYUCK COUGH starts chucking suds at everyone
AND JAEMIN’S LOWKEY TRIGGERED BECAUSE NOT HIS NEW HAIR
SO HE FIRES BACK
AND RENJUN WHO WANTED TO HOSE THE SUDS OUT OF HIS HAIR ENDED UP FIRING WATER AT CHENLE’S FACE
EVERYONE STARTED LAUGHING LIKE NO TOMORROW AND YOU GOT A GOOD VIDEO OF IT LMAO
AND EVERYTHING JUST ENDED UP WITH EVERYONE GETTING A FREE SHOWER AT THE STATION
and renjun getting pinned to the car by jeno but u h 👀👀👀👀👀👀 
y’all end up drying yourselves by sitting under the hand dryers in the bathroom
“at least we don’t have to worry about showering”
“hyuck you started this shut up”
hopping back into the small car, the group decides to start heading back
mainly because your snack supplies were running low
but also because you don’t think the car’s gonna survive any longer
but mostly because snacks were running out
“chenle ate all the fucking pocky”
“nO JISUNG DID”
“WTF-”
“i love best friends throwing each other under the bus”
taking a shorter route home, you stop at a basketball court to move a around for a while
“why is jaemin and jeno on one team, they’re the star basketballers of our school tf i call bs”
“you literally picked your own team-”
nomin vs the rest of u fuckers
no surprise, nomin won
now you guys owe them mcnuggets
“hA SU C C”
“let’s leave them behind quiCK TO THE CAR”
mark: trips over own laces running
in no time, you were in front of your own house again
unlike before though, you lowkey didn’t want to leave your friends
“i still can’t believe that we ran out of snacks in a day and a half-”
“blame chenle”
“hEY-”
renjun pats your shoulder as jeno and jaemin go get your bag for you
“we’ll be living and sleeping at mark’s place until he leaves. you’re welcome to join”
mark from the driver’s seat: what.
and as they drive away with mark questioning when this was decided,
you head back inside to restock you bag, leaving for mark’s house just a few hours later
when high school started up again, you weren’t surprised to see renjun having chensung in headlock in front of your locker
whilst hyuck just whispers-
“right in front of my goddamn salad” at the sight
creaking open your locker, the first thing you do is stick up a group photo taken on your trip
nomin lean on your shoulders, craning their neck to look at the photo
“we look dumb”
the picture was taken by mark setting a timer on his phone then running to join the picture 
everyone was lined up, leaning against the old blue car against the sunrise
but mark bumped into haechan who bumped into jeno, who bumped into jaemin etc etc
and the picture ended up coming out with everyone slanting as y’all fell in a domino effect
but the smiles on your faces were precious :’))))))))
“i think it’s cute” 
you say, closing your locker, ready to face another year with these fuckers.
hi i’m apri and i present to you yet another unedited piece of shit :’)
listening to the dreamies’ album while writing this made me really emo about mark’s graduation so it got really deep in the middle im s o r r y
532 notes · View notes
gplewis · 6 years
Text
waking from a dream in San Francisco years later; I write about the past
Hike to Guillaume Appolinaire's mansion by way of catacombs, christenings of humility at the hands of janitors and crawlspaces, emerging on sprawling villas of seashell pink brick spread with gazebos of fine wood, trimmed bushes but no fountains. I stumbled my way in through chats over fences in Atherton around curled hoses and gardeners' quarters when I approached, again in humility, with flattened bike tires and rotted rubber that only's got one more ride left in it. I was leaving school - I don't know why I was at school, I had no reason to be, I'm too old to bow down before a curriculum for know-nothings, a crowd eager to be hand-held and be worthy of safe employment while I'm old enough to know you can learn chemistry, physics, Latin and religion anytime, you just need the real motivation, some desperation for survival these Sacred Heart kids haven't had to summon (they summer instead, in Tuscany and Marseille sipping Muscadet grown by the beaches of Avalon on the esplanade on the terraces of Rinconada Hills overlooking the babbling lake of squawking geese and ducks and muses beckoning to sit with them and tell stories over a box of Ritz Bits sandwiches both peanut butter and cheese variations with Capri Sun and tuna sandwiches with the ends cut off and perfect buttered banana roasted on a fire and preserved in a reverse Arctic Zone canvas lunch-bag that keeps the fire burning instead of tamping it out; a bellows for the fire within and out so when you sit beneath the tree with a Whole Foods Feast of cranberry tuna and baguette and overpriced mixed berries and hummus and wine with a girl who's just a friend while your girlfriend languishes in waiting in a shoebox apartment on the day before graduation and you'll both leave Westwood for good to go get jobs and apartments in nourishing, marketable cities that provide hundreds of men in striped shirts and dark jeans who do impressive, exclusive business in high towers of glass in traffic-logged financial districts in towns with newspapers and international stock exchanges with medicine men distributing hot dogs and latex condoms and French fry flavored tic tac tacos with the cheese that melts and the sauce that aches - wasn't this screed of post-dream nothing doused in hot sauce and sunscreen meant to come screaming out of the sunburst that is me like blood rushing out of a penis if men had periods and had to endure the hardship and humiliation of being a woman in 2017 or 1017 or 3017, can you imagine how horrible it could be for our great-great-granddaughter with itty bitty Trumpensteins carrying torches and chanting what's really a crying out for mommy to do their laundry, show them how their penis works, cook meatloaf and grilled cheese with green beans caked against the pan like a chocolate lava cake at Roy's Kahana Outrigger restaurant your aunt, uncle and cousins show up to for your birthday dinner in the city - but this time fire, career disappointment and grandma's health have hampered and delayed all fun, there's no swishing a second Manhattan against the martini glass in sight - as ever and for what unfortunately feels permanent, there is no warm sigh available on the menu of life anymore, not without love, a girlfriend to build a home with, something besides work (as if this 1:46am typing could ever be the source of a paycheck for me or you; maybe Bitcoin or Wokecoin or Logecoin) nestled in the breast of hope and wonder as YouTube hip-hop plays in my veins rushing like the Mississippi River with blue wine because I'm an alien, an animal, a hunter-gatherer sloth-whale hybrid flopping down from the tangled vines of yesteryear splaying my set of Phoenix wings and baby bubbles laughing with Johnson & Johnson, no tears, and the wings brush the ashes like a bellows from the fire pit sending ash upward and out to the cities to settle on the surface of glass coffee table, writer's desk and in-unit washer and dryer near the pantry with the frozen grapes and ripped bag of rice with the note on it the roommate scribbled his first week here insisting he'd replace what he took from a stranger, he swore he'd walk to Safeway by himself in the dark foregoing a trip to the Walt Disney Family Museum in the Presidio near the guns mounted toward the ocean to defend against oncoming pirates from Europe and Asia, Russia and North Korea bombing our children and coworkers with Facebook posts, Sheryl Sandberg on a spit while 3D cartoon Mark Zuckerberg high-fives a garden gnome zookeeper singing chorus lines as she guides a whitewater rafting trip down disheveled aisles of toxic water of Hurricane Maria-torn Puerto Rico for the VR-headset wearing octogenarians at Oak Creek doing water aerobics on Thursdays and Saturdays while their husbands sit in the sauna with cigars naked with cherry filled donuts talking about World War II having what Bernie Bergman calls The Eisenhower Discussion. Old men are the best and they're neglected in America every day. Eye contact is neglected. You can always make someone's day by acknowledging them, giving them a place to speak and be heard, to land in the tender field greens of the heard and the real. You can make them real just by listening to what they have to say. You conduct the orchestra that lets humanity go on at all - we have to listen to each other. Social media are just ads applications you install/installed on your phone - "your friends" are the ploy to get you there but the app is just an ad app on your phone we've been staring in for the last 10 years. There went our human experience, reading ads when we could have been fucking, but no, we let ourselves be shamed into submissive silence - now we only want to go back to how it used to be which we never experienced in the first place. And we can't go back because we can’t invent it, even when we’re peacefully gathered in a safe space, we are so far away from each other and so much must be said and said again and again, exasperating fashion. There's nowhere else to go but in - to eye contact, to talking, to really actually listening; to remembering, abandoning the computer as an external memory and learning our own equipment - God, let's throw away computers, make them a cautionary tale of a species that spent so long in retreat from itself. God! Cure me of my sins! I’m a mess and our world is fallen and we need to be rescued and won’t do it until it’s all over. Bathe me in holy bath water of community and let me never long again for all that news that's fit to print according to institutional editorial boards, shareholder representations splayed on tables of walnut and cherry with cold embroidered placards bearing family names and crests, crestfallen. God! Let my neighborhood and city be enough; let me find a job and a woman and a dog and the warm living room and cream-colored Pottery Barn couch of four years ago’s dreams, dreams and our names embroidered on Christmas stockings hung from a soft nail and a Le Creuset ceramic pot of leftover chicken with the legs tied on with string - let me suck the juicy, salty string from end to end and spit it into the garbage on top of the condom box and empty 6oz blueberry clamshell from the fruit guy near our office. It's 2013 in New York and we’re in love, woman I admired through glass in a calico dress. I made strides toward at happy hour as if I were high on edibles. I had no short-term memory. Thank God it somehow didn’t result in death. Somehow I might say it went well for me. But if that’s how I end this post, I have failed (her).
0 notes