#it’s 1AM why am I getting deep on tumblr rn

[an-artistic-failure]

Improving as an artist is so crazy.

(And I know literally every artist goes through this and I’m just preaching to the choir)

But like I will look back at posts from less than a year ago and they do NOT pass the vibe check anymore lol. But I know that when I posted it that I thought it looked good, of course I saw flaws at the time but now they’re just so glaring to me that it’s embarrassing.

Like the “Off day” comic I made a little less than a year ago. Yk this one

It did really well and I still see it come up a lot on tags and stuff. And whenever I do I cringe cuz I don’t like the way most of those panels look. And if I made it today they would not be acceptable to me.

And I know this is a good thing, it shows I’m improving as an artist. I have raised my standards for what is acceptable art for me.

The real problem is that I know I’m gonna feel that way again about my art now in a year. And of course I see flaws in my art now, but I know one day they’ll probably look so bad to me that I’m lowkey embarrassed I posted it in the first place.

It’s just weird to make something I know I will eventually hate. I mean hate’s a strong word but you know what I mean.

But I guess that all I can do is just try my best to make things look the best they can for right now. Keep pushing myself so I can actually reach that point, where my standards are even higher.

[81folklore]

heaven - PIASTRI - part 2

pairings: oscar piastri x private!secret!reader (fc: gracie abrams)

summary: a very sweet softlaunch ends pretty quickly

authors notes: first of all a huge thank you to everyone who has liked, reblogged and taken the time to read my works it means so much to me and im so so grateful!! next, this is something i made at 1am so please bear with me😭. i am working on the lando and charles stories i PROMISE but i want them to be special and i currently have zero thoughts about where to take them so it might be a while🫣 also i almost finished this when tumblr DELETED IT?? i want to cry😁 ALSO i started this at like 1am and i cant be asked to do tweets rn so insta smau it is

masterlist heaven masterlist

yourusername

liked by yourfriend2, user7 and 583 others

ahahah i love the beach and my friends

view comments

yourfriend2: dont be fooled she called me crying after the fourth photo bcs she lost 5 games of uno in a row

yourusername: i called you in confidence and this is how you repay me??

user6: its fine we know how emotional uno can get😁

yourusername: ??

user7: im so single hahahahhaa (im dying inside)

user10: is it confirmed that this is oscar?

user9: im not being funny but oscar doesnt even follow her so i think yous are just reaching

user10: …they have the same dog??

yourfriend6: might aswell post his face at this point

yourusername: leave me aloneeee im having fun!!

oscarpiastri

liked by clementnovalak, paularon_ and 93,357 others

second part of the season incoming 😁👊 (after a very competitive round of uno)

view comments

user7: ready to see you up on the podium🧡

user10: uno you say?

user3: right could they be more obvious😭

yourusername: its race week babyyy

*liked by oscarpiastri*

user17: literally what is happening why are all of the grid softlaunching😭

user8: and why does it always end in the hardest of launches

yourusername and oscarpiastri added to their stories

yourfriend2: 😭😭

yourusername: i am sick and tired i just want to POST him but softlaunches are so fun😔

yourfriend2: its really fun when everyone already knows?

yourusername: no but we are in too deep now☹️

user6: god you guys are insufferable

user23: JUST POST THE CUTE COUPLE PHOTOS ALREADY

user23: i lied please dont im so single it hurts

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 6,572 others

the world through my eyes☀️

view comments

oscarpiastri: i love you sososo much

oscarpiastri: my favorite person in the entire world

yourusername: ur literally my sunshine🫶

yourfriend1: god you make me SICK

yourusername: ..okay😁 oscarpiastri i love youuu🤭

landonorris: i hate people in love (you guys are very cute)

user10: THE NOTE OH

user18: THE HARDEST OF LAUNCHES HAPPENED

user7: he is her world oh my lord

user63: and the fact that hes her sunshine too😭😭

user63: literally crying myself to sleep

oscarpiastri

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 143,572 others

my happiness

view comments

yourusername: teheehee thats me🤭

yourusername: i LOVE YOUUU

yourusername: i didnt know you took photos of me like this☹️

oscarpiastri: of course your my favorite🧡

yourusername: oh could you get any cuter🫠

yourfriend4: thought you should know yn is currently jumping up and down and giggling while looking at this

user23: I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO POST THESE?? I CANT HANDLE THIS??

user8: god really saw me sad and said ‘heres the happiest and best couple, wallow more’

user16: YOU GUYS ARE LITERALLY THE CUTEST?? THE NOTES?? THE POSTS??

user1: i cant stand people in love (i want to cry and drown in my tears)

yourusername: oh my god im so obsessed with you

oscarpiastri: i loooove youuu

oscarpiastri added to their story

yourusername: ahhhhh im so☹️

yourusername: osc☹️☹️ur literally the cutest thing to exist

yourusername: my boys🫶🫶

yoursusername: im so in love with you sunshine☀️

oscarpiastri: love you, thank you for showing me happiness🤍

[thebigsick]

venting in the safe house

if someone finds me on tumblr then i gotta end it all. just somewhere to speak my mind, hopefully find relief for the thoughts having. i keep thinking someone is coming behind me but its 12:30. i find myself in a redundant cycle of "attachment" issues with people, i want to leave the only real "friends" i have and just be myself, or just ghost everyone i know because everything so far has just been a waste of time. all the time shared with my friends was for nothing as i realize i "don't even really like them". I start thinking that and it's not real, it's not true, it's probably not honest. I see everyones lives progressing and moving in a great direction, the way id want mine to be but it feels like i just keep getting held back for a reason. i keep feeling like i have no real attachment to these people. at the end of the day, after all the things we do and say like getting food and laughing or making fun of other people, there is nothing solid between and any of them. they all wanna hang out with each other and some people just between them, but never everyone. sometimes i'm excluded and usually i get it; people do their own thing and i shouldn't be reliant on others for my happiness but they are supposed to be -my friends-. when i'm bored i talk with -my friends-, when i want to hang out i message -my friends-, when i have problems i can tell -my friends-. it's not like that tho and i get i can't have it they way "I want to", i just wish i some form of that. it feels like everyone has a much stronger bond to each other except me. i'm a loose end, it doesn't matter that much if i am there when they're hanging out or not. it seems like everyone has that thing to back to, that thing to fall back onto, that safety pad but i don't. I can't explain it that well but i will try. i don't think i'm close with anyone enough to rely on them the way everyone has/does.

i feel lonely around this time of year, it's annoying. i have been telling myself i dont need anyone for a long time, now it feels like the castle of lies ive built for myself is coming crashing down. i think someone like me, someone in my situation or in my position should have a kind of person like that, but no. idk why i think especially me but i think that would be nice. it would be great to have that sort of connection. its so late jeez work tmr too. i think ive been trying to fill my time/ keep my myself busy to avoid feeling like this. it has worked so far but it feels the effect just wore off. maybe this is a moment of weakness but the feelings have stuck with me for some time. iv'e had these thoughts many times before but never got them together and written them down. again, i wish i could tell someone i trust this instead.

my worst fear coming from this is that my friends will move on past me and hang out with each other because they are closer or have more similar personalities. i know our friends aren't perfect but it feels like their flaws are being amplified right now. i gotta brush my teeth.

ok done. my airpods are shit too. had some time to reflect and these thoughts will probably age poorly, whatever. i think i said "but" too much, its ok. i think this form of venting is helpful for me because it's like im telling someone this. i know no one is gonna see it yet it feels like the only way to could actually relieve myself from the dark room my mind is in rn. i hope it gets better. its 1am. idc we up already so long atp couple minutes cant make much difference. I wish someone was there for me emotionally. i dont think i have a "ton of baggage" but for the basic stuff. i dont know how my mom does it. just her, for years. she has more actual problems too. she is the strongest no doubt.

it doesn't seem like anyone actually wants -me-. if we are talking about making jokes, playing the game, music making talk, it's great. but when it comes to real, deep, ego-hurting feelings we all have, im a ghost. no one turns to me or think i need someone to turn to.

you know it might actually be partly my fault for not being vulnerable but that's only because i have some trust issues i think. just wish i had that one person, that ride or die, that go out "guns-a-blazin" person. im 16 now and im feeling like i might never get that person for myself. its like there was a pre-partner choosing period that i missed and now that we started, i'm stuck by myself.

im definitely not ugly or anything like that so i dont issues of that stuff, its purely rejection. lets say if i start talking to a girl i like, what i think very likely will happen will be this: we start talking, i do most of talking, the start and end of the conversation. she is clearly not interested in me but is just messaging because shes bored. she tells her friends about how i keep messaging her and dont stop. i try to move past the talking stage and she shuts it down. things are weird with us and i try to talk to someone about it and *poof*. nothing.

this music is really my main thing 🤞🏾. listening to it and making it has been there everyday for me for years. people must think i have it figured it out, right? There isn't a support system for this stuff. I MEAN theres OBVIOUSLY the "yo ur music is acc fire" comments all the time which i am honestly grateful for but it doesn't seem like anyone truly cares about this shit as much i do at all and you know, that's ok. if that was my only issue i had, id be that guy fr. it's just another thing.

i hope i find it tho, so badly, i think it would be such a positive impact on my life. maybe this music shit could get me that attention im so badly craving but probably not. is that it tho? am i just craving attention? is the lack of attention in my life effecting everything else? i hope this inspires me to go find that someone. i essentially want that special someone is what ive been trying to say this whole time but when i say it like this, i just think "wow buddy, you and everyone else".

[pixcldust]

2 A.M. TEXTS

ft. miya atsumu, kuroo tetsuro, semi eita

with | gn!reader

warnings | swear words

a/n | NOT ME ACTING LIKE MY EXAMS ALREADY OVER 😹😹😹 n e ways have some hcs mwah ily drink some water

+ | tumblr is refusing to let me add a read more break without messing up the order/pics so please accept it without the break first 😰 i'll try to edit it in tomorrow bc it's 1am right now lmfaoo 🤪🤪

MIYA ATSUMU

• lowkey headcanon this guy to be kinda a night owl too

• like, unless he has a major game tomorrow, then he’ll probably be awake at 2am so feel free to shoot him a text

• but if you send him a “i cant sleep :(” then man’s gonna take it REAL far

• “my parents arent home rn so if you want to come over, i could help you… sleep ;))) ”

• STFUU 😩

• he might not even be h0rny, he’s just Like That

• that’s just his sense of humor 😭😭 yea it might be mine too shush

• you just wanted to chill and chat bc insomnia’s getting the best of you, so whY-

• but once you get past that, he’d actually be really pleasant to text with

• yall might even facetime just because

• there’s just SO MUCH to talk about???

• topics range from dumb pickup lines to Deep Talk

• ngl eventually you guys might make some secsi jokes,,,, its inevitable im sorry

• no im nOT a nsfw writer

• but it’s 2am ok the Early Morning High is bound to hit different

• “damn ok im on my way,,, get those cuffs ready babe😼😼”

• JDHDNDCJ????3!%;÷)÷*?

• FUCK, NEITHER OF YOU CAN TAKE IT SERIOUSLY

• ur neighbours: who tF is cackling like that at 3 in the morning????

KUROO TETSURO

• i think it’s 50/50 with this boy

• like he’s either still awake and reading like a nerddd or he’s fast asleep

• but if you do shoot him a text message, send him something random

• like out of nowhere, just “did you know some snails have hairy shells?”

• he’s got a quick response time (although not as fast as atsumu) so just wait a minute for him to pick up his phone

• OH AND send him a pic of the hairy shells!!

• “thanks! i hate it!!”

• you know he’s gonna reply with an equally weird fact

• kuroo has a fair share of general knowledge too so just go wild

• will not question why you’re on the wikipedia page for snails bc lbr, he’s been there before 😔

• such a funny sweetheart about your random messages

• also he’s be awake with you throughout, even if he gets a little sleepy 🥺🥺🥺

• sir,,, hand in marriage please,,,,,,

• but definitely will throw in a “y/n, it’s almost 3:30 pls get some sleep before class tomorrow”

• hm……. no.

• WAIT YOU SHOULD ASK TO CALL

• his deep, kinda rough voice at 2am because he hasn’t used it in the past two hours ,,,,, mmmmmm,,,,

• lowkey he might fall asleep on call 🙊

• pls forgive him he’s just a very big babie

SEMI EITA

• listen

• if you texted this man at 2am

• his immediate response would be “it’s too early y/n. go to sleep.”

• BOO 🍅 BORING ASS BIJ 🍅🍅

• jkjk i love him but yall gotta admit that he’d be all 🙄😐

• “ffs y/n, you have a class tomorrow at 8”

• “and??? your point?????”

• dw he’d just take a deep breath and be like omfg why am i in love with this idiot

• yes bby he loves you mwah

• when he gets past that tho,,,

• listening to music together on spotify 😳😳

• you guys would take turns choosing songs and it’d be so cutee

• yeah he’d be into,, idk alt rock or indie rock ?

• but he’s not an ASS, he’d be okay with indie pop and mainstream and whatever else is your fave genre

• in between, he’d be so down to hearing you talk about your hobbies or a show you’ve been watching

• and like,, he’ll tell you about how he’s writing a song or what funny thing happened in his class or during training

• UGH HE’S JUST SO FINE AND SO CUTE

• omg yall can video call and he’d share his screen

• both of you watching ghibli movies tgt at 3 in the morning : 🥰🥴

• it is just so peaceful being with this boy

[carriestreep]

✨ 92 Statements ✨

I was tagged by @salt-throne luv ya sis

RULES: You must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

THE LAST:

1. Drink: mate tea my main hoe

2. Phone call: my boyfriend called me and my battery ended when i was going to pick up lol

3. Text message: “mano do céu” i dont know how to translate this hahahaha brazilian part of tumblr pls show up (it’s an expression we use when we’re dumbfounded i guess)

4. Song you listened to: "Can’t Back Down - Camp Rock 2″ do not even judge me bitch

5. Time you cried: yesterday at the therapist

6. Dated someone twice: lol yas (4 times actually and still together)

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: GOD YES

8. Been cheated on: yup

9. Lost someone special: kinda yes because someone who was special to me lost its value (thankfully tho)

10. Been depressed: *welcome to my life by simple plan plays in the background*

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: never got drunk actually

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

12.-14. blue, green, purple (all shades of these colors)

IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: uh idk maybe yes

16. Fallen out of love: uh maybe yes but i didnt know exactly what love was so i guess no

17. Laughed until you cried: honestly dont remember (disappointed but not surprised)

18. Found out someone was talking about you: people talk about people all the time even if they dont mean it so i dont know about every single human who have talked about me

19. Met someone who changed you: well everyone has an impact on things and people so yes everyone i’ve ever met has changed me, some for the good and some for the bad, and all of those changes are who i am

20. Found out who your friends are: oh god yes, thanks to high school ending

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: i dont think so

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: lol i have no idea, i’m too ashamed of unfriending people

23. Do you have any pets: YAS I HAVE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE IN THE FORM OF A DOG

24. Do you want to change your name: i wanted to, when i was little, but not anymore

25. What did you do for your last birthday: uh i dont remember (i have a horrible memory)

26. What time did you wake up: today? i woke up at 7am and got out of bed at noon

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping bc i was feeling bad and decided to call it a night

28. Name something you can’t wait for: emotional and financial stability

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: she’s sleeping on the couch in front of me

31. What are you listening to right now: "All We Do - Oh Wonder” i’m addicted to this band rn (where’s 30?)

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: does thomas fit?

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: lololololololol

34. Most visited website: i’m actually a bit away from the internet in general tbh

35.-37. “Lost Questions??? (I’m just talking this over exactly as I found it, I also noticed some numbers missing, for example number 30, but idk man lol)” a fitting direct quote from Lara (i have no idea what is happening anymore it’s already 1am here)

38. Hair colour: uh my aunt always said i’m “grey-blonde” but for me it’s more like grimy blonde

39. Long or short hair: my hair is currently mid-shoulder but i wanna cut it all off like this

40. Do you have a crush on someone: yes

41. What do you like about yourself: i find it hard to like something about me right now but i used to like my smile and my nose

42. Piercings: nope

43. Blood type: A+

44. Nickname: Dani, little lion

45. Relationship status: dating

46. Zodiac: sun sign: sagittarius / moon sign: cancer

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV show: grey’s anatomy (SADLY)

49. Tattoos: none, sadly (yet)

50. Right or left handed: right

51. Surgery: none

52. Piercing: bruh why are you repeating yourself?

53. Sport: lol

55. Vacation: last vacation was to Minas Gerais (a state in Brazil) (where’s 54?)

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: whatever that doesnt have a dead animal on it (where’s 56????)

58. Drinking: i love wine (sweet ones) and vodka and mate tea and passion fruit juice and probably any fruit but guava and peach

59. I’m about to: go to sleep i guess or watch footloose, dont know yet

61. Waiting for: will to live (lol sad but true) (where’s 60 wtf is this)

62. Want: a job

63. Get married: being married to me is a feeling; signing my name in a paper next to someone i love doesnt make me married, and i’m not religious so yeah i still dont feel married but i hope one day i do

64. Career: neuroscience bitchhhhhhhh

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses: oh god both

66. Lips or eyes: both

67. Shorter or taller: I don’t have a preference

68. Older or younger: do you mean mentally or chronologically? i guess older for both anyway

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: i dont feel attracted to any but i love the way my boyfriend hugs me so i guess arms (where’s 69 dude)

72. Hook up or relationship: relationships (71???????/ honestly)

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: oooooh i used to be a troublemaker but now i’m like whatever

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: no

75. Drank hard liquor: yas bitch

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: once i thought i had lost it but i found it looking in the mirror (i was wearing it)

77. Turned someone down: i guess

78. Sex on the first date: nope

79. Broken someone’s heart: sadly yes

80. Had your heart broken: sadly yes

81. Been arrested: lol do you really think i have energy to do something worth of going to jail? i barely have breakfast dude

82. Cried when someone died: yes

83. Fallen for a friend: i thought so at the time but thankfully no

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: deep inside yes

85. Miracles: i dont know, not sure

86. Love at first sight: no

87. Santa Claus: i dont think i ever truly believed in it

88. Kiss on the first date: i believe you do whatever you fucking want

89. Angels: [see 85]

OTHER:

90. Current best friend’s name: Josipa (@salt-throne​ luv u sis), Giulia and Giulia (yes they have the same name, yes it’s very confusing, yes my family mix them up all the time)

91. Eye colour: light brown, sometimes a bit green depending of the light

92. Favourite movie: oh god please dont ask me that (footloose; grease; anything meryl streep is on; anything carrie fisher is on; ferris bueller’s day off; dirty dancing; mary poppins; the king and i; doctor zivago; singing in the rain; back to the future; under the tuscan sun; star wars; angus, thongs and perfect snogging; indiana jones; donnie darko; Die Welle; bridget jones; camp rock, high school musical; i’m gonna stop bc i’ll probably forget a lot of movies and i’ll feel bad for forgetting them so yeah dont ask me which is my fav movie thanks kid)

we all know that it wasn’t exactly 92 questions but yeah thanks

Tagging: i never follow the rules of tagging lol so whoever wants to do this, go for it