anerea-lantiria

[writtenbyevie]

if I not-so-hypothetically wanted to create a Haikyuu Secret Santa Fic/Art Exchange on ao3 would people be interested 👀

[hathay]

❄️twst christmas/winter headcanons❄️

disclaimer: this does contain content about christmas, i know i know they don’t celebrate it i just thought it’d be cute, bUtttt i tried to make it more festive instead of geared towards christmas!:)

includes: general ones then all the dorms & dorm members <3

general

- there’s a school wide secret gift giving event which is just pure chaos and cuteness as people scramble to get other people gifts even if they don’t really know the person. each name pulled comes with a little something about the person they got for the gift exchange.

- there’s also a year vs. year snowman building/decorating competition (they take it very seriously)

- (people also try and sabotage other years snowman’s so they learn special magic to protect their snowmen.) (meaning if you hear/see someone being shot into the distance, chances are they messed with the 3rd years snowmen.)

- the school is decorated all over with winter decorations like wreathes, colorful string lights, as well as soft snow.

- students go sledding on the hills, having sledding competitions.

- (they also like to have a dorm decorating competition but no one likes to actually talk about it, they just know it’s happening, and they definitely know who is winning, and it’s NOT the other dorms.)

- let’s not even try and act as if there wouldn’t be PLENTY of snowball fights constantly. you’re just minding your own business walking around NCR, when suddenly a cold, wet ball of snow pelts you right in the back of the head. glancing over and that face you love so much just shrugs with a smile, before a full on blur of snow hits them right on that pretty smile.

- it would be utter chaos after a bit, floyd and rook would take it so seriously. like what do you mean rooks snowball basically curved around other people to hit you??? meanwhile floyd’s rolling a snowball so large it would practically knock someone down if thrown.

octavinelle:

- you think azul is going to let cold weather and festivities stop him from making money??? absolutely not. he is profiting so hard. hot chocolate? on the menu. oh you’re cold and wanna sit by the fireplace??? $8 please:).

- he makes floyd dress in a santa costume and take photos with students. (sometimes floyd gets really into it, other times you just see a quick flash of blue hair in a santa suit running after a terrified first year)

- jade loves it. adores these times. the snow?? imagine how pretty it looks on mountains right now, or what kind of mushrooms would THRIVE in this. he often wears one of those necklace string lights that are just so tacky, but i mean, who would tell him not to.

- jade loves antagonizing people about the cold. you’re cold? interesting. imagine being in the deep depths of the sea, imagine that coldness:)

- they go around in their regular uniforms, wondering why everyone is such babies about the cold. floyd goes as far as to wear shorts around just to poke at people, what do you mean your cold? he’s literally wearing shorts, you’ll be fine.

ignihyde:

- you think idea wears sweaters too much before it gets cold????? imagine him when it’s cold out, so bundled up, there was barely a chance of getting him to leave his room before, now there’s a zero percent chance.

- ortho wears scarves and little mittens even though he obviously doesn’t have to.

- let’s not forget how idia is secretly trying to outdo all the other dorms. those lights that spell out words and play the theme song to idias favorite shows, who would’ve possibly put those up!!

- idia loves the holidays even if he won’t admit it, geez why do people go crazy. and gifts? who would want a gift from a stranger?

- that is until ortho shows up outside his door, handing him a plate of cookies you made and thought he would enjoy! and uh oh, suddenly his blue hair starts turnings a pale pink.

heartslabyul:

- riddle is also violently bundled up.

- ace is an absolute menace as per usual. yellow snow? he’s either eating it or convincing unsuspecting people to eat it, someone please get him AWAY from deuce.

- deuce is constantly calling him mom telling her he can’t wait to see her soon, and sending her selfies of him all bundled up, he forever feels the need to make up for his past wrongdoings.

- adeuce definitely sneak out and join the other first years for late nights leading competitions, and they all end up back at ramshackle, freezing cold, dying laughing at each other. they even stay up late tracking santa on their phones knowing damn well he’s not real.

- trey makes plenty of cookies and makes sure everyone’s all warm, he’s oddly okay with the cold, just wearing a light jacket and feeling perfectly fine. he gets super annoyed at how his glasses fog up everytime he walks into the cold outside from the nice and toasty inside.

- trey rocks scarves so hard, like cater is so jealous because he thinks scarfs just look so silly on himself.

- speaking of, all the lights? the decorations??? cater is going to have a FIELD DAY with all these perfect backdrops for his magicam.

- ace is buying an elf on the shelf and you CANNOT stop him. and he will most definitely be using it to scare tf outta people. he kept on moving it around when no one was around, freaking riddle out.

- until…ace notices the elf moving spots without him doing it. deuce and ace become absolutely CONVINCED the thing is possessed or alive, meanwhile it’s cater and trey fucking with them.

- cater would even go as far as to make it it’s own magicam account for updates.

- ace is a menace and starts playing holiday music on november 1st. he has no decency. trey tries to bribe him with sweets to at least wait until december (he takes the sweets and plays the music regardless)

pomefoire:

- you have never seen such a well versed winter selection of clothes until you see what vil and rook wear in the winter. vils mitten collection? it would make designers incredibly jealous.

- and then you see epels selection. it’s much…homelier. it’s very cozy!

- vil is not a fan of the cold. it’s just..too cold. he prefers it to be lightly cold but definitely not like this. but he’s not gonna let the cold stop him from shining out within the crowd.

- he will string some nice tinsel up along with some plain colored lights, but definitely not those hideous multicolored ones.

- vil would LOVE hot chocolate but would refuse to ever admit it, denying it instantaneously because what person who respects their body would digest that.

- afterwards though, he will be downing some ginger to cleanse his system a bit.

- epel and rook would INDULGE so hard in hot chocolate

- rook adores holiday, everyone looks so nice and warm he can’t it! compliments are flowing from every angle with this man, your scarf! his mittens! their boots! he’s thrilled and he’s taking note of who seems to be affected more by the cold and who is quite quaint to it.

- epel is taking the first years sledding he couldn’t fathom not doing so. he feels so at home in the cold.

savanaclaw:

- leona hates it. so bad. like why in hell is ruggie basically putting a wreath on leona’s head and giggling about it.

- leona hates the cold so bad, he’d sleep next to the fireplace.

- ruggie hates the cold too, he’s had a few too many unbearable cold nights back home.

- but what he does love? gifts and treats. you’re telling me someone’s gonna give him gifts?? and people are giving treats? he’s over the moon.

- he also can’t wait to give someone a gift, sure he likes his money and is stingy, but he likes to give certain people things, he gets how it is with no money or no gifts. he likes to make other people happy.

- jack loves the cold. adores it. he’s like a human heater, it’s perfect!

- he can’t wait to go sledding with the first years, and loves giving his gifts to people. it embarrasses him a little bit, his cheeks heating up, but as soon as the certain someone tells them he loves it, his tail is going CRAZY. he couldn’t be more happy.

- leona acts like he hates gift giving, just as he hands over the most sincere gift physically possible.

- they have the option of either hats without ear holes, leaving them with cold ears, or they can walk around with hoods/hats on, sticking up in the odd shape it forms around their ears. it’s lowkey adorable but the beastmen hate it.

scarabia:

- kalim is LIVING. all these pretty lights??? giving people things??? he’s so happy. he wants to decorate so much. he would want to give every single person something, i mean, they deserve it!!

- jamil is…less excited. he enjoys the holidays, but only when he’s around people he can actually tolerate.

- if you pass by jamil and he’s wearing a tacky string light necklace with this face :|. just…don’t mention it. but when you pass by a gleaming kalim wearing the same thing, it’s obvious whose idea that was.

- maybe if you can convince one of them, they’ll take the magic carpet out for a spin, flying above the school looking down at all the snow, the decorations, lights, and all the people living life below.

- jamil is freezing cold too. he cannot stand it, this man would walk around in layers on layers, yet he’s still freezing.

- he catches kalim making snow angels and ushers him up because he’s going to get sick.

- wait..is that ace? talking to kalim,,, near YELLOW SNOW?? dear god this man is going to have a heart attack.

diasomnia:

- lilia is getting everyone matching sweaters. it’s happening as we speak. sure sure they have ones from past years, but they need new ones are you crazy???

- sebek wears his so proudly knowing he matches with lilia and malleus, why does silver need to match them too though.

- malleus wouldn’t completely understand the holiday fuss, but he would love it, everyone seems so happy, humans are so cute! he’s never celebrated like this, would you be so kind as to help malleus decorate his room as you did ramshackle?

- if you ask kindly enough i malleus supposed he could let you decorate his horns as well.

- silver questions who put tinsel around malleus horns while lilia & the mc look away unsuspectingly as malleus just beams.

- sebek absolutely hates the idea of santa. what do you mean a large man comes breaking into homes??? near his malleus??? are you insane?

- silver isn’t the biggest fan of the cold, all indoor places are just so so warm and cozy, he can’t help it as his eyes start to drift close.

- silver will wear the cutest holiday hats, he loves them, the also cant wait to give his gifts, he just hopes the person likes it.

- a little gift exchange is just so cute, they’re just a little fae (and honorary fae) family experiencing human customs, fully embracing it.

ramshackle:

- grim puts poorly wrapped tuna cans under the tree they have set up, but it only last for a few days after mc catch’s grim feasting on them like it’s his last mean.

- we all know he has fur that keeps him well warmed, but that doesn’t mean he’s not gonna parade around in a cute little sweater anyways, come on mc has one just like it after all!

- a gingerbread house?? mc is going to create such a cute house while grim pitches in, and once they finished and mc took a photo, grims bouncing up and down begging to eat it whole.

- the ghosts decorate with tinsel, a tree, lights, and even mistletoe in the entranceway. though ramshackles foundational quality may not be the best, it sure is a sight to see with decorations lining it.

- grim tried his hardest to decorate the tree but it really just looks like a hot mess.

- grim and mc spend the holiday together, they bake cookies, watch holiday movies, even the ghosts join!

- they have a present exchange, and they video call some people they’re missing a bit too much.

- guess mc just has to invite her favorite people over to help her fix it! would sure be a shame if mc caught a certain someone at the entranceway under the mistletoe.

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

I’ll leave whether or not this is a request up to you. I just want to share the idea of Christmas season with JayGar. Making cookies with them, putting together a gingerbread house too. Kissing under mistletoe. Decorating the tree, just the place in general. Maybe it snows. Gar insists on making snow people and there’s a snowball fight. Watching them roll around in the snow, play-fighting. Going inside after and making hot cocoa. It’d be so sweet, cozy, fun, and loving and I’m soft for it right now. -Rotten Anon

okay, this makes me feral and foaming at the mouth. I am so deeply upset that Jason was not at the Titans Christmas in Season 4 because it's supposed to take place in Gotham at Wayne Manor if I'm correct? and like I understand that Jason was still kind of on the outs with the Titans, but Gar would have wanted him there, and Jason coming to Christmas dinner or something would have been a great step in mending the relationships. grrr

anyway! Christmas with JayGar. omg. consider this my headcanons post because I can't help myself

Christmas With Jason Todd and Gar Logan

(These headcanons operate under the idea that they are in a poly relationship with the reader, or they are flirtatious/sexual and forming that kind of poly relationship.) (This also kind of accidentally turned into Christmas headcanons about the Titans in general.) (Also, this is mostly fluff and there is some mild sexual themes, because I can't help myself when it comes to JayGar.)

So, first of all, I definitely feel like Christmas at Titans Tower would be so different from a family Christmas - like, spending Christmas with Jason and Gar once the three of you have moved out to start a family and 'settle down' or when everyone has come home to a place like Wayne Manor for a traditional family Christmas. Living with Jason and Gar in your own place would be a lot more like you mentioned, but I am thinking about more of the S2 era (I love that era so much.) But I could definitely make another post about like - post No Place Like Home Christmas with JayGar.

Christmas at Titans Tower - I am imagining a situation where they lived at the Tower for longer before Rose showed up (and then Deathstroke tried to kill everyone) and they had Christmas during that time. OR during the time they continued living at the Tower before Gotham, they had Christmas (and Jason is still there because I said so). It would be wonderful chaos.

Dick would not even have the idea to decorate or really celebrate Christmas in any way until Rachel or Gar bring it up. The original Titans did celebrate Christmas, but it was 90% Dawn's doing. (In the show, we saw how she turned Hank's sad, single guy apartment into a really femme, well decorated place. And it is of my opinion that she planned Garth's birthday party by herself. She would demand Christmas decorations.) And because Dawn wanted extensive Christmas decorations, Dick funded it (with his daddy's credit card) because he would do anything to please her.

So back then, the original Titans had a huge, lavish Christmas tree, they had all kinds of extensive decorations for the main lounge area - Dawn bought everyone ugly Christmas sweaters and Christmas pajamas and made everybody wear them. And they definitely did a Secret Santa where everyone picked a name and only bought one gift, but it was soooo easy to tell who bought which gift.

So when Rachel starts asking Dick 'what are we gonna do for Christmas?' - Dick's first thought is: nothing. Kory and Conner are curious about what Christmas is - it's actually funny trying to explain to them how a holiday that is technically rooted in religion is actually practised by a lot of non-religious people, and most of the traditions have nothing to do with Christianity.

Gar is excited to do something for Christmas. When he was living at Caulder House, they used to have a big family Christmas - mostly because nobody left the house and it was something to do. His parents weren't super religious when he was growing up, so he never had super traditional Christmas celebrations when he was living on the nature reserve - Rita and the others were the first ones to introduce him to a lot of Christmas elements and classic Christmas films, and he has loved it ever since.

Gar loves the idea of a time when you give to others selflessly and when simply being kind is a unique magic of its own. So of course he's eager to celebrate Christmas with the Titans.

You're kind of indifferent to it all - you can get into Christmas, but you can go without it.

And on the other hand, Jason hates Christmas.

Yeah - genuinely, it's of my opinion that Jason from Season 1/Season 2 (and probably Season 3) would fucking despise the concept of Christmas. (An evolved, post No Place Like Home Jason would love Christmas, but we'll talk about that later.)

So - Jason hates Christmas. And it's one of those things that, much like everything else in his life, can be attributed to his upbringing. Sometimes Rachel makes jokes that Jason blames everything on 'foster kid bullshit' but - it's true. Because everything in his life can be blamed on his shitty childhood. When you grow up poor like he did, there is no Christmas magic. He was the kid in school who was telling everyone else that Santa Claus does not exist, because he was bitter and angry that Santa never brought him any presents, and he realized very early on that it was just a made-up story. So he forced that bitterness about his own situation onto other people.

Did he start liking Christmas after he moved in with Bruce? Fuck no.

Having Christmas with a billionaire only made things more awkward for Jason. Especially because Alfred is the one with Christmas spirit, and not Bruce. Bruce grew up half Catholic and half Jewish due to his parents faith, so before they died, he several years observing Jewish holidays and having a huge blow-out Christmas with a lot of Christmas magic, and after they died - he became stoic.

(Note: I am talking about the Titans version of Bruce here.)

He mostly observes the holidays by silently donating to charity, sometimes going to church to say prayers and reflect, and privately lighting a menorah and saying the prayers that go along with it to honor his parents - something that he has never invited Dick or Jason to participate in. Alfred always makes a big, traditional Christmas dinner and decorates the Manor, and he is the one who prompts the exchange of gifts - and Jason fucking hates this.

Jason doesn't have an income of his own, and he hates shopping for gifts with someone else's credit card, and he always feel awkward as fuck receiving generic, expensive gifts from Bruce (like an Xbox or an iPhone) while giving him something like a tie or cuff links that Alfred picked out - that Bruce knows were bought with his own money, that doesn't even garner much of a react beyond a polite, mandatory 'thank you'. In Jason's opinion, one of the only hell's worst than spending Christmas starving, cold, and penniless is spending it in one of the large, opulent, over-decorated rooms of the Manor sitting with Bruce in stony silence while the man sips tea and makes stiff faces at the gift Jason's gives him.

So Jason doesn't expect Christmas at the Tower to be much different. He's not looking forward to it, and generally, wants to avoid it.

But he has no such luck.

Dick is randomly on the phone with Dawn one night (Dawn and Hank are trying to do the farm thing again - they're not taking care of horses, but they are living out in the country in the middle of nowhere, because they have come to like the seclusion), and he mentions that Rachel brought up Christmas, and this sets off every neuron in Dawn's brain. She asks Dick what he's gonna do for Christmas and he says 'I don't know'. Within hours, Dawn has dragged Hank to a Christmas tree farm, picked out the biggest tree possible, and has it strapped to the top of their truck, driving in to San Francisco.

If Rachel wants Christmas, she's going to get Christmas.

When you get up and find Dawn decorating (she dug out the Titans' old decorations, and Dick and Hank are struggling to get the tree out of the elevator) - you are excited. You rush to get the others out of bed, and immediately - Jason starts complaining. He says Christmas is stupid - he's one of those people who feels the need to point out that Jesus was actually born in the summer, and that it's a holiday 'actually made my companies just to sell you more crap'.

But when Dawn says that she needs help bringing out more of the boxes of decorations and Gar asks Jason to come and help, whipped as he is, Jason sighs and rolls his eyes, and he goes to help.

Decorating is certainly an adventure. Everyone is tripping over each other, Dawn wants the tree moved to different locations in the lounge three different times and it's only on the third try that Dick and Hank remember that Conner has super strength and he should be the one doing most of the heavy lifting.

At one point, you're up on a ladder hanging garlands and you stupidly ask Jason to 'give you a hand' - thinking that he'll hold the other end of the garland while you secure it or that he'll hand you another tack, but instead, he walks up behind you where you're standing on the ladder, very firmly and confidently puts his whole hand on your ass and says 'better?'

Gar makes everyone hot chocolate to help the decorating process along, and Jason says that the holiday is 'slightly less stupid' because he thinks the hot chocolate tastes really good.

Once all the decorations from the boxes have been put up, Rachel gets the idea that everyone should make their own custom ornament to put on the tree, and her and Dawn rush out to buy supplies for this, and while everyone is gathered around the kitchen island participating in this crafting session - it is the most genuine family moment that you have ever felt with the Titans. Everyone decorates a simple, flat piece of wood with glitter or paint to put on the tree - Gar decorated his with a green tiger wearing a Santa hat, and Jason made his a depiction of Santa Claus crashing his slay and dying - which you thought was funny and put on a central position on the three.

Gar even got the idea to put Krypto's paw in paint and stamp an ornament with his paw print so he could have one too.

(Okay, this is getting really long and rambly, so here, some quick fire hcs.)

Once Jason figures out that he can use mistletoe as an excuse to kiss people, he is infuriating about it. He will carry it around and dangle it over your head and Gar's head - you will just sigh and smack him, and Gar will blush so hard. Sometime's Gar will give Jason a kiss on the cheek if no one is looking (usually, Jason will respond to this by dodging and stealing a kiss on Gar's mouth) - and rarely, you will actually give in and kiss Jason on the lips if no one else is around.

At one point, Jason even tapes the mistletoe to his bellybutton as a 'joke' - to make you kiss his cock. (It definitely doesn't work. Ya know.)

Gar loves Christmas carols and Christmas music, and he will always play them and sing them at the top of his lungs - Jason pretends to be annoyed by it, but you have caught him singing along under his breath or mouthing the words, or even dancing a little when he thinks nobody is paying attention. But you know the annoyance is kind of real during the 5th round of Jingle Bell Rock. Gar can't help it though.

Gar is a vegan, and Jason will claim it's because he's bored - but he spends one afternoon cooking up vegan versions of several Christmas classics, like Christmas sugar cookies, and a full Christmas spread (with substitute meats that you guys both can't decide are creepy or cool) - and when Gar sees everything, he has some tears of joy in his eyes at the pure consideration of it. Turns out, Jason is actually an amazing cook. (Dick and Rachel are particularly surprised by this development.)

One night, the three of you sit down and watch a bunch of Christmas movies together. Jason finds Home Alone to be hilarious because Kevin is so brutal (and naturally, Jason is reminded of himself), and he spends most of the film commenting on how stupid the criminals are. When you watch The Grinch, Gar cries at the scene where the Grinch is bullied in school and you and Jason have to comfort him about it.

At one point, you buy you, Gar, and Jason matching ugly Christmas sweaters and Jason is adamant that he will not wear it. You are disappointed, but you put on yours anyway, and soon you hear some mumbling between Gar and Jason, including a 'please' and some grumbling on Jason's part - they come back twenty minutes later. Jason is wearing his sweater, looking stone-faced and grumpy about it, and Gar is looking entirely pleased with himself. You have no clue if sexual favours were exchanged, but when Gar moves to put a Santa hat on Jason, the effort he makes to fight Gar off about it is so lackluster.

When Dawn takes a picture of the three of you in your sweaters together, Jason flips her off - and it's one of your favourite pictures of all time.

(I could easily go on like this forever, but I'll leave it there for now.)

[fetteredhope]

—— ( emilio sakraya. demi man, he/they. ) recently seen skateboarding at the boardwalk: enter ZAKARIA QADIR. twenty-seven years old & a sagittarius, usually observed in oversized t-shirts, baggy ripped jeans - far more jewelry than is safe for a skater; zak is a devotion local known within their circle as SPRIGHTLY + TENACIOUS, a perpetual hum of have you ever seen the rain by credence clearwater revival on salted mouth. something of the AUDACIOUS + OBTUSE follows, regardless … something to do with losing yourself to nothing but the wind thanks to the board beneath your feet - it feels eerily like home now, perhaps ? strange, what a GHOST can get up to. they’ve been heard waxing lyrical about a dream they had recently, a strange tale of a family that’s finally accepted you after years of hopping home to home. this one doesn’t stand long - there’s heat and smoke and breathing is impossible, but they always wake up before it can end the way they think it does. pay no mind to fanciful star - gazing, though: rather, mind the tangible. focus on knees that have been skinned so many times they’re perma-scarred now, choosing to laugh instead of cry whenever he’s upset - crying never did any good for him anyway, becoming attached to friends easily; they’re his found family after all. / committed to legend by bri, twenty6, they/she, est.

below are mentions of abuse, death, fire, & violence!

stats.

name: zakaria qadir.

nickname: zak.

age: twenty seven.

gender identity: demi man.

pronouns: he/they.

sexuality: bisexual.

birthday: december 22, 1995.

star sign: sagittarius.

myer-briggs: esfp.

occupation: n/a.

place of birth: devotion, south of tene.

last played on spotify: slide feat. frank ocean & migos by calvin harris.

general disposition: breezy and bullheaded.

background.

when zak was born, he spent all of 5 minutes with his mother before she was up and running off from the hospital, leaving him behind with nothing but his name

life after that was more or less the same theme - people took him in for weeks, months at a time if he was lucky, before he was eventually either kicked to the curb or a ‘better family’ was ready for him

none of the foster homes ever wanted to take him in; witches and nymphs thought him too lackluster, humans never understood his obsession with the creatures of devotion - he just never seemed to be able to fit in

of course he had friends growing up, foster siblings he kept close to his heart and still does to this day, but he’d always been obsessed with the idea of found family, of someone picking him because they actually wanted him, not because there was government money involved

there were bouts of abuse, neglect, days where zak would run away and spend freezing nights on the streets, but it didn’t change his personality; deep down to his core, zak had always been loving and selfless, albeit a bit too reckless and temperamental for his own good

around the time he was 17 and just about to age out of the foster system, a family took him in, and zak immediately knew something was different with this home - it didn’t take them a week before they were asking him to allow them to adopt him into their lives forever

it’d been a good 10 years after that; zak found his family, and he had a good set of friends, maybe he could use some work with the head on his shoulders, he still found himself in constant trouble but he was loved and taken care of, so it didn’t matter

visiting home for his birthday and the christmas holidays last year was a tradition - but when zak went to bed that night, it would be the last time he ever fell asleep, waking up weeks later confused and disoriented, and a ghost after the only family he’d known had died tragically alongside him in a house fire

ever since, zak’s known something was off, wrong about him - it was easy to just assume his family was like all the others in the end, never reaching out to him anymore, leaving him behind

it was even easier to stick with this theory when he found himself incapable of going near where their home used to stand; every time zak gets close, there’s a reason to turn around, an excuse to abandon his search and just leave them behind, make everything easier

zak’s never expressed to any of his friends he still has that he’s a ghost, mostly due to being unaware himself - he still knows there’s something off, but there’s also something keeping him from getting the answers he wants and needs, and after years of fighting, zak’s just found it far easier to pretend everything’s fine. even if he can’t go home, his chest feels hollow, and sleep escapes him no matter how exhausted he feels.

details.

literally just. a loving goofball, super protective, has gotten into several dangerous fights for his friends before he just loves too fiercely when he accepts people into his life

an adrenaline junkie through and through

still loves skateboarding, can be found stuck in a loop for hours sometimes of him just coasting down the boardwalk and laughing without realizing he’s been caught in the same moment - once for almost a whole day straight

becomes very attached very easily!!!!! its honestly destroyed some friendships and has definitely ruined relationships; becomes clingy, untrusting, scared of people leaving him etc.

it’s also made hookups a mess tho he does in fact. Participate in those Quite Frequently

there are of course details in his past life that he’s forgotten, and struggles to discuss if they’re ever brought up, accepting his death is just. Not Going To Be An Easy Task.

connections.

zak is definitely still close w a lot of foster siblings he’s had in the past so any of them!!

maybe. someone that was a part of the foster family that passed and wasn’t there the day of the house fire…….

just friends in general :D from childhood, high school, more recent etc.

ppl he’s fought in honour of friends/partners he’s had in the past

enemies fr other reasons mayhaps???

exes….. he’d have lots on both good and bad terms</3

current and past hookups!!

thats all i have so far but tbh hes an open book lets get wild.

[decks-writing-blog]

As a Guest

Summary: Papyrus invites Burgerpants to attend his smaller Christmas gathering.

Also, this is an Underfell fic.

~

Even earlier than last year, the Christmas decorations started going up. With them came the Christmas tunes that had just about bore a hole in Burgerpants’ brain last year. It was all way too early for all of it. If he had it his way, it could all wait until a week before Christmas. Though in general if he had it his way, he’d get paid better, treated more respectively and given more time off. All of which was about as likely as Mettaton deciding not to milk the holiday for as much money as he could for as long as he could.

And so Burgerpants plastered on an even bigger fake smile and wished human and monster customers alike a “Happy Holidays,” when they came to his little burger joint in the middle of Mettaton’s Mall. Why it was “Happy Holidays” when the only holiday seemingly anyone openly celebrated or decorated for was Christmas was another one of those weird human things he probably would’ve care more about if he had the energy to be curious.

With the decorations and music came an increase in shoppers and thus an increase in folk who stopped by the Burger Emporium. It would get worse as Christmas approached but for now it was only a mild increase in annoyance. In preparation for it getting worse though, Burgerpants slacked off as much as he could get away with, which he actually did year round but now, he did it a little extra. Which included the occasional unsanctioned adventure to the rear ally to smoke a cigarette as slowly as he could get away with, which was actually quite fast.

Upon returning from one such adventure he was almost not surprised to find Papyrus waiting for him in the store. Despite how much of an ass he’d made of himself before exiting their first meeting, upon their next happenstance run in with each other, Papyrus hadn’t hated him. Such meetings happened a couple more times before they started happening on purpose.

Somehow they were friends now, sort of anyway. Papyrus was using him as a means to keep a distant but inside eye on what Mettaton was up to. It was an open secret that neither of them discussed, which was just fine. Burgerpants had no loyalty to his boss and would gladly share anything he knew of him to almost anyone who wanted to know. Also, it was good to be on decent terms with someone higher up. It might even eventually lead to Burgerpants being able to quit his job. Unlikely but he could hope, right?

“Hey,” Burgerpants said as he went past him to make his way back behind the counter. “You here to do some Christmas shopping?”

Papyrus sighed. “It is expected of me so, yes. You have any suggestions for gift ideas?”

“Not really but I can tell you not to get anything from any of the stores around here. It’s all overpriced garbage.” Apparently this was the only all monster run shopping center still in business. Making it a novelty and thus Mettaton got away with increasing the prices on everything. Shocking no one ever, wages didn’t go up with that price increase. “Don’t get anyone anything Christmas themed either. No one wants to use anything like that in the middle of summer.”

“Noted.” He was silent for a few seconds while Burgerpants pretended to clean the counter – just wiping it down with a rag that was visibly clean, so wiping away whatever dust might’ve fallen while he’d been away but not much else. “Also, to get out of attending Mettaton’s party this year, I will be holding my own much smaller gathering. Assuming you are free and would like to, you are welcome to join.”

Burgerpants paused to look at him. His face was just as unreadable as ever. “As a waiter, cook, or both?” Likely Burgerpants was slotted to work Mettaton’s party this year too. But with Papyrus being second in command of the Royal Guard, Mettaton might let him off to work for him for the night instead. It’d still be work and a smaller party would make slacking off without being noticed harder but the job itself would likely be easier.

“As a guest.”

Oh. When was the last time Burgerpants had been invited to a party as a guest? … Surely it had to have happened at least once when he was younger. If so he couldn’t recall it. It had to be too good to be true, there had to be a catch, meaning he should decline. But the Surface was still too good to be true too and yet here they were. So maybe this invitation was legit, especially since there wasn’t much to be gained by such a lie.

“Uh… sure. Sounds fun. You think you could tell Mettaton you’re hiring me as a waiter so he’ll let me off?” There’s no way he was going to be let off just to have fun. Mettaton wouldn’t be happy but couldn’t say anything if the second in command of the Royal Guard wanted him.

“Yeah, I can do that.”

“Cool. Thanks.” Turns out having friends in high places was useful. Who could’ve ever guessed? Burgerpants would have to continue to pursue this allyship for however long Papyrus allowed.

[f1nalboys]

Hello!! I saw your requests were open and wanted to send a Holiday themed one in! I was wondering if you could do something for Randy Meeks, Stu Macher, and Billy Loomis, celebrating the Holiday (what holiday they celebrate, if any is up to your own interpretation). I don't know if this is something you'd be interested in writing, but I thought it would be worth asking!!! Regardless, I hope you have a wonderful day/evening and a happy holidays

HI ILY AND IM SO SORRY I DIDNT DO THIS EARLIER but i hope you enjoy this!!! I had sm fun writing it hehe

WORD COUNT: 752

WARNINGS: none <3

BILLY

Billy is not a big Christmas fan

Or holiday fan in general

After his mom left he really fucking hated the holiday seasons because it just reminded him of her and what his dad did

HOWEVER

If he was in a relationship (a serious one) then he would eventually start liking the holiday again

He’s not super into decorating, he finds it pointless (besides the tree) but he’ll humor you I suppose

If you guys have kids though??? Oh he’s going all out

Tree, decorations, family pictures, matching pajamas, the whole nine yards for real

It’d be so cute seeing how excited he gets along with his kid over the small parts of the holiday like making ornaments out of popsicle sticks and glitter, picking out the glitter glue to make stockings, all of it

In the beginning Billy doesn’t take the gift aspect super seriously, like he’ll get you something great but not because he knew it would be sentimental to you if that makes sense

But once you’re with him for a long enough time and he starts to really understand you and your likes and dislikes, he’s going to start putting in more thought

You collect mugs? He’s going to hand make (or paint) a mug for you. You like coffee? He’ll get a coffee brand named after you of something idk

Basically once you’re together for a few years you’ll figure out (and he won’t ever admit it) that Christmas is his favorite holiday (besides Halloween)

STU

Oh Stu is a holiday fein

Every holiday, no matter how ‘unimportant’ or ‘lame’ it is, he’s decorating

His parents were rich and were gone a lot (when they weren’t packing him up along with them) so he would often spend holidays with his nannies

And he loved them so much he would try and make the holiday fantastic, even if no one else is celebrating lol

Stu is under the ‘the more expensive, the better the gift’ umbrella when it comes to gift-giving holidays and it’s kind of hard to get out of that mindset

He is great at giving gifts, though, since money isn’t really a problem for him. Expect your tree to look like fucking Dudleys from Harry Potter

He throws holiday parties all the time

Labor Day party at the Machers yall!!!!!

He takes the major holidays super seriously too, like Halloween, Christmas, Hanukkah (his mom is Jewish so they celebrate both argue with yourselves,) Easter, stuff like that.

On occasion he’ll throw/host a party for a holiday he doesn’t celebrate but that one of his friends does

He thinks holidays are important not just for bonding but for your happiness

“Parties are like oxygen man” type shit

RANDY

Randy LOVES celebrating

He has a big family (his sister and parents but extended family as well, they’re all super close) so its an excuse to get together and see each other which he loves

He especially loves hanging with his younger cousins, he’s so good with kids I swear to god it’s almost enough to make me sob lol

But he is very big on tradition and his family has a lot

An Easter egg hunt (even though they’re Jewish lol) where there’s one egg that’s jumbo sized and inside is $200-$500 LMFAO

Its a very cut throat competition and Randy will and has pushed his family members over to give himself an advantage

Doesn’t matter the age either

He’s won two years in a row and he refuses to lose, it’s pretty scary seeing how into it he is but I love him so its ok

Hannakuh is more traditional and he takes it very seriously, the gift aspect takes him months to plan because he wants to give everyone good gifts

OH GOD this man loves latkes more than anything

His family has a tradition where each member gets their own menorah and Randy tends to say the prayers on the first night and after that it splits between his mom, dad, and sister

On Halloween, Randy goes all out

It takes months of planning to get his costume right and he takes a lot of pride in it

Yes he would cosplay on Tik Tok lets move on

He went as the Phantom from Phantom of the Opera one year and like,,,, he was method acting his tits off that night

He hooked up with a person dressed up like Christine too and he considers it a highlight of his career

[angryschnauzer]

Jingle My Bells

Summary: Continuing my AU Rugby Teacher theme that was so brilliantly plot bunny’d by @feelmyroarrrr​, Henry finds himself bored at home having been put onto quarantine due to cases at the school he teaches at. With his school shutting early for the holidays, when his wife needs help at her school, she calls in his assistance for some festive fun... with some after hours fun for themselves too.

Pairing: AU Rugby Teacher Henry Cavill x Teacher Wife

Warnings: Bad Puns, NSFW, 18+, Established Relationship, Public/Risky Sex Workplace Sex, Henry dressed as Santa Claus (yes thats a warning in itself).

Gif by @littlefreya​ and used with her kind permission.

Previous Rugby Teacher Henry Ficlet.

Masterlist on AO3, and old fics can be found at @angryschnauzerwrites​. I don’t run a tag list.

Jingle My Bells

Henry was bored. Two weeks of quarantine after another faculty member had tested positive had meant he'd been confined to the house 24/7. Just as his test results had come back negative and his return to work for the last week of term had been scheduled, the high school had been notified that two students had come in contact with confirmed cases, so to cut their losses the board of governors had simply implemented end of term a week early.

And sure, Henry had done what he could to help keep himself busy; online gaming, World of Warcraft, hell; he'd even helped you mark homework for your primary school class. He cooked dinner for you so it was ready the moment you arrived home, and the house was the cleanest it'd ever been, but without you home with him he was just… bored.

"Just one more day, then its the end of term" you'd reassured him as you'd kissed him goodbye that morning, and he'd pulled you into his arms;

"Will you wear the elf outfit home tonight?"

"Oh, does someone have an elf kink?" You'd grinned and raised an eyebrow.

Henry lifted his hand to the little bells that were attached to your green knit dress;

"I kinda want to find out how i can make these jingle… i have some ideas…"

"Well you can fill my stockings after work, but i've got to go or i'll be late…" you pressed a kiss to his cheek; "Got to set up the area for Santa" 

With a groan your husband released you;

"Fine, but i want you to sit on my lap later"

-

Henry was standing at the fridge contemplating whether eating Babybell cheeses wrapped in Parma ham sandwiched between two slices of toast counted as lunch when his phone rang. Seeing your school's number on the display he was half curious and half worried, but visibly relaxed when he heard your voice;

"Hennn…." You purred

"Oh god… you only use that voice when you want something i won't like…"

"Are you free this afternoon?"

He sighed over dramatically;

"What do you need?"

"We need a Santa. The guy we booked was someone's grandad but he's been on the sherry and we had to send him home because he was slurring his speech and referred to the kids as 'crotch gobins'"

Henry let out a snort of laughter;

"I've met your class… some of them are…"

"Nevertheless… could you stand in? We've got the suit, and you've been quarantining for 3 weeks so are safe… pleeease…"

"Hmmmmnn"

"Hennn, please… i've got a thirty kids that still believe…"

Henry sighed;

"Okay… i'll be there in ten minutes"

“You’ll need to walk…there’s no space left in the staff car park”

He sighed;

“Okay, make it thirty minutes”

-

If there was an award for best/worst performance as Santa, Henry would have got it hands down. Putting on his best pantomime Brian Blessed voice, he'd Ho Ho Ho'd his way through the three youngest classes of wide eyed Little Ones that had thoroughly loved meeting Santa. When it had come to the older kids in the Junior years, generally 8 years old and above, he'd taken a different tactic, instead filing them out to the playground and if they could score a hoop through the Netball net, he'd deem them nice rather than naughty.

By the time hometime rolled around every single child had a smile on their face, excitedly rushing out to their parents waiting at the gate, pointing out Santa to their younger siblings sat in Pushchairs and Prams.

When you’d finally waved everyone off you made your way back to your classroom, the security door alert sounding as you entered the corridor, the hallways quiet where your colleagues had already packed up their stuff and left for the day. Henry trailed behind you, chattering away about what the kids had told him, shedding himself of the fake Santa beard and the scratchy jacket, leaving him wearing the hat, his plain black t-shirt, and the Santa trousers and boots. He flopped down into your chair as you busied yourself around the classroom, his feet up on your desk. 

Moving around him you stacked papers ready to be archived when he wrapped his hands around your waist and pulled you onto his lap;

“Come and sit on Santa’s knee”

Abandoning the papers you laughed as you settled on your husband's lap, turning to kiss him and the little bells on your dress jingled as you moved. The kiss went from chaste to needy in a matter of seconds, and you could feel Henry harden beneath your ass as you wriggled on his lap. His hand groped at your breasts through your dress as his lips started a trail along your chin and down your neck;

“Have you been naughty or nice this year?”

You wriggled on your lap;

“Oh I've been Naughty…”

Suddenly you were spinning as Henry fluidly moved to his feet, pushing you over your desk and stood behind you;

“Well i guess i’d better do something about that then” he pulled your dress up with a jingle of the bells attached and smoothed his hands over your ass, the green and white stripes of your tights framing your buttocks. With strong fingers he grasped the thin fabric and tugged, ripping a hole in them and letting out an appreciative grunt when he found you wearing a lace thong;

“You’ve been parading around in that little dress with this poor excuse for underwear beneath all day? You really have been a naughty girl” he purred in your ear as his fingers tugged the elastic aside.

You tried to move away, painfully aware of your location;

“Hen! We’re at school!”

“Shhh… the door alarm to the hallway will sound if anyone comes… so how about i make you cum before that happens, eh?”

His fingers had found your clit as he’d pushed his thumb into your velvet channel, and any further arguments were lost on your tongue as you sighed in pleasure;

“Hen, make it quick… the cleaners will be doing their rounds soon”

Looking over your shoulder you watched as Henry quickly shoved the Santa trousers and boxers down, his thick and meaty dick springing free where he was already rock hard and dripping with need;

“I’m gonna jingle your bells darling…” he positioned himself and quickly thrust in, making you gasp at the sudden stretch of it; “Gonna fill your stockings…”

“Tights” you corrected

“Same fucking thing” he grunted as he started to pound into you, the rhythmic thud of his efforts topped off with the delicate jingling of the bells on your dress. His hands moved and grabbed at your breasts, his breath hot and heavy against your ear as he filled you hard and fast from behind; “Want me to come down your chimney tonight?”

Grinning you turned your head;

“How about we save that for when we’re at home…?”

Henry paused, his eyes going wide when he realised you were agreeing to the one thing in your sex life you hadn’t tried yet, even after being married for a number of years and him dropping numerous hints;

“Really?”

“Well, i know you didn’t put it on your Christmas list but if a elf is gonna be naughty she might as well be naughty all the way…” you winked at him; “But you gotta hurry up now…”

With a grunt of determination he started to pound into you, one hand moving down your stomach and pushing between your legs, rubbing at your clit as he did his best to quickly bring you both to orgasm. Your moans started to get louder, and he clamped his other hand over your mouth as he started to feel you cuming, your body shaking and the loud thuds of his thrusts filling the room as your desk squeaked on the linoleum floor. With a grunt he thrust in deep and at the height of your orgasm you felt him flooding your womb with rope of his creamy seed, his massive hands pulling you to his chest as he buried his face in your neck whilst your cunt milked the last of his cum from his body. 

Breathless and glowing, you rested your head on Henry’s shoulder, your chest heaving before he carefully pulled out of you, pulling your underwear back into place as he tucked himself back into his boxers and Santa trousers. As you shimmied your dress back down you heard the thrumming of the floor polisher along the corridor, your eyes going wide before Henry turned you and rested his hands on your shoulders;

“C’mon, lets get home”

Taking a deep breath you smiled;

“Help be grab the last few bits then we can go”

Five minutes later you were stepping out of your classroom, Henry holding the large box of things you wanted to bring home for the holidays including your peace lily, pulling the door shut when you heard footsteps, turning to see the after hours cleaner;

“Night Mr Howell, have a good Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas Mrs Cavill…” he paused when he saw Henry standing next to you

“This is my Husband, he stood in as Santa today”

The old man nodded and smiled, carrying on with his mop as you walked in the opposite direction. Just as you got the security door you heard him starting to whistle, your eyes shooting up to meet Henry’s as you heard the tune;

‘Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the way…’

Henry wrapped his free arm around your shoulders;

“C’mon my naughtly little Elf, i’ll drive you home” he grinned at you; “Then we can see about that chimney of yours…”

You clenched at the thought, your body already tingling at the thought of it. And hey, if you were going to let your husband finally fuck your ass, at least you had the entire school holidays to recover.

[shihalyfie]

The difference between the Adventure group’s and the 02 group’s respective relationships with their Digimon

Kizuna very prominently depicts a difference between the older six Adventure group members (Taichi, Yamato, Sora, Koushirou, Mimi, Jou) and the younger six 02 group members (Takeru, Hikari, Daisuke, Ken, Miyako, Iori) in terms of how they interact with their partners, and part of it is because of the strange relationship between Kizuna and 02′s themes, but, in fact, there had always been a rather subtle difference between said dynamics even since all the way back in 02, just exacerbated by the 02 group being the only ones to be able to open Digital Gates via their D-3s and the fact that the circumstances of the plot were a bit engineered to make the 02 group a bit more functional during its duration.

The image of “every human-Digimon partner pair hanging together all of the time even through mundane daily life events” is certainly romantic, but, in fact, the older Adventure group is not portrayed as a group that necessarily longs for such an arrangement, and the 02 group doing so is something they specifically do because of their own personalities. This is something very tied to the distinction between the Adventure and 02 groups’ respective ways of life and internal dynamics, and what it says about each individual group’s preferences of independence vs. mutual support.

Once Adventure’s finale hit and the Adventure group had their first bout of “separation” from their partners, thus began the “two-and-a-half year break”, in which the Adventure group had to suddenly accept separation from their partners after (what had been to them) months of being together all of the time. It’s an understandable feeling of loss! You “took something for granted” when it’d been with you all of the time, you made an incredible, important friend and suddenly had to part. That said, there are some nuances to this that need to be taken into account here:

Takeru and Hikari (who turn out to later become involved with the 02 group and take on their mentality) are the two most confident about their parting on the note of “we’ll definitely meet again, don’t worry about it, it’ll be okay,” which is a pretty obvious meta hint at 02 airing one week later, but also does say a bit that they’re the ones most hung up on the possible reunion.

The two-and-a-half year break is characterized not so much by a permanent and unbroken separation as much as the lack of ability for Taichi and his friends to meet up with Agumon and the other partners on a regular, controlled basis. They weren’t completely cut off from contact -- Taichi receiving a message from Agumon in the above-linked drama CD, Koushirou keeping in contact with Gennai regularly, the entire events of Our War Game!, the Adventure mini dramas (yes, those are canon), the 15th anniversary drama CD, and the reunion depicted in 02 episode 27′s flashback. Moreover, the way Koushirou approaches the Digital Gates in the early episodes of 02, along with Two-and-a-Half Break itself, makes it clear that the gates still did open sporadically, it’s just that, since there was no real rhyme or reason to them opening, meetups with partners weren’t something that could be coordinated smoothly. Given that, it’s not that surprising that Taichi met up with Agumon without altogether too much fanfare in 02 episode 1 -- it certainly wasn’t something he could have done often, but the two had met up a handful of times during the last two and a half years, so it’s understandable that it doesn’t necessarily merit a massively dramatic reunion, especially when there’s a crisis going on at the exact moment.

Once the events of 02 kicked off, the Adventure kids started having some touching reunions with their respective partners now that the 02 kids’ D-3s could provide reliable standbys for going in and out of the Digital World, and, of course, it’s natural that they’d be a bit emotional after their contact had been so disjointed (even though, as with Taichi, it’s not actually nearly as dramatic as one might expect), but once that’s out of the way...

Practicality suggests that the Adventure kids’ Digimon partners would choose to spend most of their time in the Digital World for the duration of 02...but, in fact, even that considered, the older Adventure kids really don’t seem that bothered to not get to see their partners every day of their lives. Granted, they of course presumably don’t want to constantly bother their juniors all of the time to open the gate for them, but Sora demonstrates in 02 episode 12 that she will grab them and go in if it’s urgent, so there’s no reason to believe they wouldn’t recruit the kids to open the gate for them if they wanted or needed it that badly. Moreover, the juniors being able to consistently open and close the gate means that constant communication and occasional meetups with their Digimon partners are more than possible -- recruiting one of their partners to do something on the other end isn't too hard anymore, given the events of 02 episode 32 or such -- and so, the “inconsistent, fleeting contact” that spanned the “two-and-a-half year break” is no longer a problem.

All things considered, if the older kids really wanted to create some kind of pipeline or arrangement so they could hang out with their partners on the daily like the 02 kids do, you’d think they (especially Koushirou) would try a little harder, but they don’t actually seem to treat it with much more urgency than having a really good friend who might be a bit of a slightly inconvenient bus ride away. The fact that they actually have reasonably consistent methods of access to see each other if they really want to is comfort in itself. Of course, when Christmas comes and the juniors arrange a situation for all of their seniors to see their partners again, it really is a Christmas gift, because of course there’s the joy of getting to see an incredibly treasured friend you don’t normally get to see in a while!...but even then, Taichi says that Agumon should at least stay for the holiday, with a completely casual tone that suggests he has absolutely no qualms or emotional hangups about the idea that Agumon’s going to have to return to the Digital World soon and they won’t have day-to-day contact anymore (it’ll just be nice if Agumon can stay for the rice cake soup).

In the end, this is actually...probably a pretty normal thing to expect. Digimon partners are “best friends” in ways that are a bit unusually beyond your average so-called “best friend”, in that they’re somewhat psychologically linked to their human partners and thus “get” them in ways an average human friend wouldn’t, but nevertheless, it’s not like everyone constantly wants to have their best friend with them every single moment of every single day; boundaries and independence are a thing, and even Miyako felt that it was appropriate to leave Poromon with Koushirou for the duration of her Kyoto trip in 02 episode 33. (In fact, if you squint carefully, there are times when even the 02 kids’ Digimon occasionally don’t accompany their partners; Patamon and Tailmon didn’t attend the soccer game in 02 episode 8.) Or, if you want to take this all the way back to Adventure, “needing space” from one’s own partner once in a while was lightly addressed when Tentomon deliberately recused himself from Koushirou having a heart-to-heart with his parents, because he understood Koushirou needed catharsis on his own terms (and we see Hawkmon and Tailmon even do the same for Miyako and Hikari in 02 episode 31). So when those best friends were placed in dubious places of contact and it became difficult to tell when they’d ever meet again, it was emotionally difficult in the same way being forcibly cut off from a treasured friend and not being allowed to see them regularly would hurt -- but once some degree of regular, guaranteed contact was established, and it was understood that they could meet up when they needed to, they could schedule that easily (and in fact there’s no evidence that the older Adventure group never made use of that during days in the year that weren’t depicted in 02 proper).

Not only that, the Digital World is also treated as having its own “will” and letting Chosen in as needed in 02 episode 22, thus implying that, even without the 02 kids’ D-3s as a fail-safe, it was getting more receptive to open gates in general; Koushirou had been keeping track of them and alerting other Chosen to whenever they opened naturally (including Mimi in 02 episode 14), allowing contact to continue on a more regular basis.

So why are the 02 kids and their Digimon so different? Since the incidents depicted in 02 didn’t impact the real world itself until late in the series, why didn’t they make an arrangement like their seniors where the kids would meet up with their partners in the Digital World after school, thus avoiding the trouble of having to hide them in school and pass them off as plushies everywhere? Well, the thing is, they almost had that kind of arrangement...and it lasted only one episode. It was made a prominent point in 02 episode 2 that even after meeting V-mon and barely getting to know him, Daisuke couldn’t get him out of his mind. Then, Miyako and Iori met their own partners, and when they all emerged, the 02 group’s partners themselves came out with them, with Tentomon and Piyomon being the ones to say that they’d rather stay behind for the time being. In other words, it wasn’t a question of practicality surrounding the territory war with the Kaiser -- the 02 group’s Digimon and humans themselves actually wanted to stick to each other this badly, even if it meant that the Digimon would be staying in in an unfamiliar world long-term (after all, the Digital World is still every Digimon’s natural home, so it’s possible that the older kids’ Digimon aren’t too enthused about the idea of staying in the real world for so long themselves).

In the end, the real reason the 02 group and their Digimon stick to each other so constantly through any and all situations has to do with their mentality. In the case of the Adventure group, while being trapped in another world gave them a sense of necessity in sticking together all of the time and thus created a bit of extra shock when sudden separation occurred, either way, said older group was a bit more independent-minded and was ultimately able to mentally adjust to returning to a status quo where they couldn’t expect to see their partners all of the time, and managed to build proper lives around that assumption. Even when their partners were regularly accessible, they were able to live their lives somewhat independently from each other (especially due to the difficulty of integrating Digimon into the real world at this stage), with the understanding that they still could meet each other whenever necessary for anything ranging from a dangerous incident to simply just wanting to get together and have a nice heart-to-heart. The 02 group, on the other hand, consisted of a group of slight misfits with some degree of socialization problems prior to the start of the series, who have mentalities based on “their relationship with others” moreso than independence; their group dynamic was based on a slight amount of dependence on mutual support rather than necessarily being able to sustain themselves on their own, and it thus follows that they and their like-minded partners would be a bit clingier as a result, because they’re more in need of that emotional support and company on a day-to-day basis.

Look at Daisuke, whose entire character has a lot to do with his need for validation and support from others; it’s very easy to imagine that prolonged separation from V-mon might outright cause them separation anxiety before long (remember Daisuke’s reaction to getting briefly separated from V-mon after only knowing him for less than a day in 02 episode 2!). Or Takeru and Hikari, who still are parsing a lot of really unresolved issues that weren’t actually properly addressed in Adventure (remember: they’re the ones who were only able to accept the idea of parting if they had certainty that they’d meet again, and Tailmon especially associates Hikari specifically with a life she couldn’t initially have). These kids dislike being separated from each other for too long, so it stands to reason that they’re going to dislike separation from their respective partners even less. 02 being a story about relationships means it’s a series about how people who have difficulty finding their answers by themselves find it through the support of others, and so, more latently, it’s only natural that it’ll extend to their partners, and that their partners, being somewhat like-minded, would reflect that by willingly choosing to leave the Digital World to cling to their partners, even in an unfamiliar world.

Of course, you could potentially chalk this up to sheer practicality, in that the 02 group had access to D-3s and were simply making use of their time together, or that the nature of the Digital World territory war eventually getting brought out into the real world guided their actions this way...but, in fact, Kizuna continues to double down on there being a distinct difference between these two.

Because Kizuna only gives us very “limited context” by showing us limited snippets of a few days instead of the whole eight months 02 spanned over, we’re forced to extract from only a very small “sample size” of interactions, but one thing the movie does make clear is that the Adventure and 02 groups are both roughly in the same boat in regards to what they can and can’t do regarding their partners and the Digital World. The “advantage” the 02 group had over their seniors in that they could easily open gates is no longer in play, because travel can happen at leisure even with the older group thanks to the smartphone terminals Koushirou’s made (the deluxe Blu-ray booklet confirms that it’s the smartphones doing it, so it’s not like Yamato’s referring to the ability to grab one of the 02 group members here). On top of that, Digimon have some degree of recognition in society, so it’s not too much of a big deal to have them in real life, and all of the Digimon partners are probably much more used to going back and forth and being familiar with both parts of society. And yet, despite that, there is a difference.

The main reason I so often urge people not to take the question of “who has partners present in the credits and who doesn’t” as a definitive statement of who’s lost their partners like Taichi, Yamato, and Sora have is that the opening does the same thing -- none of the Adventure group’s partners are depicted in the respective characters’ vicinity, even though we know at this point that none of them have full-on disappeared yet. Rather, when you think about it, it’s more that the point being made is that their partners aren’t with them all of the time -- just because the gates are easily opened by anyone in this cast now doesn’t mean that the Adventure characters decided to bring them home to live with them the way the 02 group did. Tentomon is not shown to be in the proximity of Koushirou in the movie’s initial scenes, nor in the opening, nor during his company negotiations, and it’s only during later events when he’s seen in the office. Palmon not being on the plane with Mimi may well mean that she’s not actually with her all of the time, mainly just working alongside her every so often, and Jou’s memorial short indicates that there’s a certain degree of partners acting independently now (especially now that they can operate in the real world without too much issue). Obviously, said Digimon partners are still hanging around and reasonably well-involved in their lives, but they’re not always next to them, and may be hanging around elsewhere in the real world or killing time in the Digital World -- but meanwhile, the number of times any of the 02 group is physically seen in the movie or To Sora without their partner totals at zero.

In the end, the distinction between the older Adventure group’s and the 02 group’s respective behavior may have been somewhat exacerbated by the gate-opening issue at first, but even when that was taken away, the 02 group’s tendency to cling to their partners and vice versa was just something endemic to themselves.

Again, since Kizuna gives us a very limited frame of reference, it’s not to say that the 02 group is always stuck to their partners for every breathing moment of their lives; remember, even all the way back in 02 episode 33, Miyako was willing to leave Poromon with Koushirou for the duration of her Kyoto trip, and the memorial shorts also depict V-mon hanging out with Gabumon in a setting that we assume doesn’t involve Daisuke in the vicinity, and photos of Takeru and Hikari without their partners are seen on Imura’s board, and there certainly must be instances of need for privacy or busy moments of adulthood that couldn’t be depicted in the limited range of the movie -- but the point is made, and there is a massive contrast between the Adventure group living independent lives, and the 02 group playing around and doing mundane things and actively involving their partners in their conversations and interactions in ways far beyond that of their seniors. And, by extension, the fact that the drama CD depicts them going out of their way to meet up with each other in a setting where their seniors aren’t doing anything of the sort; the 02 group’s mentality, shaped by the events of their series, involves treasuring their personal relationships and gaining emotional support from each other as a bigger priority over individual ambition, and it’s applying even to eight years later in Kizuna to the point where it takes very little to recreate the aura of yet another average 02 episode.

Fundamentally speaking, neither group is in the wrong, and the “difference in mentality” between the two groups is reflected all the way into the 02 epilogue, so this is not a narrative that praises or condemns people for aligning more with being independent-minded and ambitious and not necessarily needing company most of the time, versus being the kind who needs company and emotional support from others and excelling better at giving that kind of support in return. Kizuna’s narrative doesn’t cast the more ostensibly distant (less so “distant” and more “more capable of independent action”) relationship the Adventure group has with their partners in a particularly negative light. I’m sure many reading this post will probably identify more with one group or the other here in terms of their way of living life and maintaining relationships. However, it does cast the concept of “abandoning one’s partner” as the reason for partnership dissolution -- not physical abandonment, but rather, emotional abandonment.

The timing of the partnership dissolution is the key, because the movie puts a huge spotlight on it not happening to Koushirou and Takeru for the time being, which means we’re obligated to look at Taichi and Yamato to see why it’s happening to them and them specifically, and what they have in common. Well, one day prior, they’d dumped their partners on their siblings with very few words, and then, over dinner, had outright scoffed at the idea of bringing their partners to school with them. Again, it’s not the issue of bringing them or not when even Koushirou doesn’t seem to be hanging out with Tentomon all of the time, but rather that they have such a condescending and cold attitude about it, as if their partners are “in the way” of their adult lives. Taichi doesn’t necessarily have to have Agumon live with him as a roommate, but he’s portrayed as horribly lonely and yet hadn’t even let Agumon visit once because he was so willing to shut him out. In other words, Taichi and Yamato had taken their partners so much for granted that they were basically yanking them out once in a while whenever they needed them for Digimon battles, and then tossing them aside flippantly to get back to whatever their lives were, rather than working on maintaining their relationships or allowing for emotional support. For the early duration of the movie, their conversations are not quite there, and are a bit stilted. Partner or not, it’s a cold way to treat a friend who just really wants to be there to support you.

And when you look at Sora, or Menoa (who’s revealed in the novel to have also been emotionally drifting from Morphomon for the sake of her studies), their abandonment of their partners was hardly physical -- Piyomon was there to watch Sora’s flower arrangement work, it’s just that Sora was coldly turning her away and snapping at her for the sake of her work, and Menoa was most likely still living in the same house as Morphomon back when she was studying in Colorado, but nevertheless, she hadn’t been talking to her anymore. Meanwhile, on the other hand, while Koushirou doesn’t seem to be with Tentomon all of the time, he still has a proper heart-to-heart with him in a way that wouldn’t be completely out of place in Adventure, so you can see why he’s not nearly in trouble as Taichi, Yamato, and Sora are at the time of the movie.

So, the take-home is that it’s not necessarily a requirement to be with your partner every single breathing moment of the day like the 02 group is; of course, them being more on the clingy (for lack of a better way to put it) side means that being emotionally in-tune with them is just a fact of life, but Koushirou, Mimi, and Jou all seem to have figured out comfortable ways of interaction and boundaries with their own partners even despite occasional distance, and that’s why they’re not in danger of losing their partners at the time of the movie, despite all of them technically being adults and Jou being a year older. (Well, there’s also the secondary metaphorical meaning of a partner meaning one’s own personal dreams and aspirations and how that factors into Taichi, Yamato, Sora, and Menoa’s actions, but we’ll leave that as a separate topic for the time being.)

One interesting thing about the epilogue is that, because the meeting depicted takes place in the Digital World and we have a very limited amount of information, we don’t really have evidence that most of the adult Chosen actually live with their Digimon partners on a day-to-day basis -- the only thing concrete we have is a strong implication that Hawkmon lives at home with Miyako’s family, which is reasonably par for the course with Miyako and Hawkmon’s respective characterizations (and although it’s not shown, you can also imagine that the very clingy Wormmon would likely prefer living with “Ken-chan” and his family). Otherwise, the only other “home” scene we get to see is that of Takeru and his son, but their partners aren’t shown in the real world.

The Character Complete File does add some implications depending on how you want to read certain ones, and Armadimon’s lack of presence in Iori’s attorney scene could conversely mean that he’s more likely to be a presence in Iori’s home life than he is in his work (which is also reasonably consistent with their characters), but either way, the take-home is that the nature of each Digimon partner’s involvement in each adult’s day-to-day life is ambiguous. So you can really make any kind of extrapolation about whose partners are involved in their lives to what degree; it’s been 17 years since Kizuna, relationships and day-to-day life needs have changed, and things like “career partner” and “family member” (or both) don’t necessarily have to entail a Digimon partner constantly clinging to their head and witnessing every moment of their life, as long as the understanding is still there that everyone still has a clear amount of emotional involvement and connection in each other’s lives to some degree.

It’s also interesting to note that the epilogue actually picks a slightly unusual way of phrasing the Digimon partnership phenomenon spreading globally: “a Digimon partner exists for everyone in the world.” In terms of sheer technical meaning, it’s not altogether that different from “everyone has a Digimon partner,” but such oblique wording brings more to mind the idea that, even now, not everyone may have met their Digimon partner yet, or may be living separately from them between worlds, or, with retroactive Kizuna context, being in a bit of an existential crisis or loss of self and having your partner not currently manifested for the time being -- but that doesn’t preclude you from having a partner, as long as you’re capable of maintaining some kind of relationship with them.

[valley-of-the-lost]

The Emotional Abuse of Eden Starling

    I have a massive soft spot for Barbie movies. They defined most of my early childhood, from the music to the dress transformations. It was an intense nostalgia trip to revisit them when I was older and through a more comprehensive lens compared to when I saw them last. While I was doing this, one in particular stuck out to me. Barbie in a Christmas Carol. It was the version of the classic tale A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens that I had grown up with, and while my memories of it were fond, it didn’t trigger intense nostalgic reactions in me like ones like 12 Dancing Princesses did. So, naturally, I rewatched it to refresh my memory. And it immediately shot up to my favorite Barbie movie, at least, of the ones I have seen, because it handles surprisingly more mature and complex themes than you’d expect for a piece of early 2000’s kid’s media. I’d like to dissect one of these themes today: childhood abuse, specifically how Eden Starling, the protagonist of the movie, was abused by her caretaker, Aunt Marie.

Aunt Marie was emotionally abusing Eden throughout her childhood by overworking, socially isolating, guilting, shifting the blame, and asserting control over Eden through verbal manipulation. All of the above can be seen in the interaction between Eden and Marie in the Ghost of Christmas Past flashback section of the movie. While the conversation is brief and I am well aware that technically due to how short it is, it could possibly not be representative of Eden’s entire childhood, the movie treats it as the standard for their dynamic when Eden was a child, so that is how I will be treating it as well when analyzing the quality of Eden’s upbringing. So, without further ado, let’s parse out what tactics Marie employs on Eden throughout the conversation.

The scene opens with the Ghost of Christmas Past and Eden from the present (whom I will call “Present Eden” throughout the rest of this post aside from this scene summary) arriving in a room via a golden portal. Eden as a child (whom I will call “Past Eden” to differentiate her from Present Eden, again, aside from this summary) is sitting at a long table, resting her head on her arm and staring out the window at the snow falling outside. She has food in front of her, implying she was eating or expected to eat at some point, but she doesn’t touch it until her Aunt Marie says her name and walks into the room. Past Eden then straightens in her seat, looking more alert, and quickly eats all her food as her Aunt Marie enters the room while staring into a handmirror. After she is done, Eden asks if she can go to the Beadnell’s house for Christmas, where she had been invited by her friend Catherine Beadnell. Aunt Marie refuses, and says that after dinner they rehearse. Eden tries to press the issue, but is shut down and told to rehearse until dinner is ready.

Already the movie itself is calling attention to a major disparity in this scene: there is no indication of celebration within Marie’s household, be it Christmas or otherwise. The room Past Eden is sitting in is literally bare floorboards and blue wallpaper, with the only lighting being the dim sunlight streaming through the window. The decor itself is the epitome of the bare minimum; it’s wooden and matches the floorboards, giving the room a homogeneous appearance. Taken altogether, the dim lighting, cool color scheme, and general emptiness of the space gives the room a cold, lifeless feeling.

To further reenforce this, when the Ghost of Christmas Past thinks she accidentally didn’t send them to Christmas due to the room’s clearly lacking Christmas cheer, Present Eden corrects her by saying “No… this is right…” establishing that this is indeed how she spent her Christmases as a child. If that was not enough indication that something is definitely wrong, the Ghost of Christmas Past is still in disbelief, pointing out the absence of typical Christmas fixtures like a tree or stockings, but then she comes to a realization and says to Present Eden “Oh… you poor thing”. This expression of sympathy shows that there’s not just something off about this scene, something’s terrible about it that would warrant this sympathy in the first place. The conclusion from just this section of the scene would be that Eden was not very happy as a child, and never had what would be thought of as a “proper” Christmas growing up for one reason or another. So what was the reason for this? Why, Aunt Marie of course. Not just because she’s Past Eden’s guardian and therefore these responsibilities would fall onto her, but for other reasons that are revealed in the following conversation when Past Eden asks to go to the Beadnell’s house:

"Eden: I'm all done Aunt Marie. Can I go over to the Beadnell's house? 

Marie: Of course not. After dinner we rehearse. 

Eden: I know... But I thought we could... maybe make an exception today. Because it's Christmas! They all said they'd really love to see me there. Catherine even said it'd make her Christmas!"

This immediately ticks off two red flags: social isolation and overworking. Marie is preventing Past Eden from spending Christmas with Catherine and Catherine’s family, and by extension, denying her positive social interaction. In the context of the date being Christmas, Marie is also denying Past Eden a better Christmas with this action, as when Past Eden sneaks out to the Beadnell’s house, it can be seen that they celebrate a more typical Christmas. They have family, food, decorations, a tree, and presents, even some for Past Eden. This shows that Marie shows a lack of regard for Past Eden’s mental wellbeing, as positive social connections and interaction is critical to a child developing into a healthily functioning adult.     In addition to isolating Past Eden, there are implications that Marie is overworking Past Eden as well. It is obviously cruel to make a child work through a holiday when they obviously do not want to, but Past Eden’s wording (“...maybe make an exception today…”) insinuates that working through the day with no known breaks under any circumstances except to eat is the norm for her. Barbie and Kelly, the former of which is telling Eden’s story to the latter, also confirm this:

"Kelly: Wait... Aunt Marie is making Eden work on Christmas? 

Barbie: Well, every day. But yes, on Christmas too. 

Kelly: But that's not fair! 

Barbie: It's not. 

Kelly: And there's nothing Eden can do about it? 

Barbie: affirmative noise"

Forcing a child to rehearse day in and day out with no time off except to eat against their will is not natural; it’s controlling. It’s a bad sign for their future development and mental health, as this constant pressure to rehearse and by extension be good at this thing they are rehearsing for will likely end with them pinning their sense of self and self-worth on this one thing they’re working towards. Thus, they will have a harder time coping with failure at this one thing, or have no other emotional rapports to fall back on if something happens. Marie is not setting Past Eden up for a healthy adulthood here in any way. She has no regard for Past Eden’s mental wellbeing, and is not above employing manipulation to force Past Eden to agree to her demands, as she proceed to do when Past Eden tries to press her request:

"Marie: Make (Catherine's) Christmas? Make her Christmas? What about your Christmas? More importantly, what about your future? You want to be a star, don't you? 

Eden: I do, but- 

Marie: More than anything else in the world? 

Eden: Yes, but- 

Marie: Then what Catherine and the Beadnells want doesn't matter!..."

    Now, what happens here is that Marie guilts Past Eden for considering Catherine’s feelings and manipulates her answers to shift the blame for the circumstances onto Past Eden. This is all designed to browbeat Past Eden into submission so she will do what Marie wants. First, with the guilting, Marie shifts the conversation from spending time with Catherine to Past Eden’s future (“...What about your Christmas? More importantly, what about your future?...”). Her word choice of “what about” and “don’t you” suddenly imply that Past Eden is putting her future singing career in jeopardy by wanting to spend one day with Catherine. In essence, Marie is saying Past Eden is putting her entire future at risk just for the sake of catering to what the Beadnells want, completely ignoring that it’s what Past Eden wants as well, and thus making her feel guilty for putting something so important as her singing career on the line just for the Beadnells and their feelings.

    Marie also shifts the burden of the situation onto Past Eden over the course of the conversation, by suddenly placing it on Past Eden’s shoulders. “More importantly, what about YOUR future?” and “YOU want to be a star, don’t YOU?” both imply that Past Eden herself is responsible for the perceived obstacle (her singing aspirations) blocking her from going to Catherine’s house, and thus absolve Marie herself from any of the blame she has for creating this situation for Past Eden in the first place as her guardian.

    In order to guarantee that Past Eden will comply, Marie manipulates the conversation in her favor. First, she poses a yes or no question to Past Eden (“You want to be a star, don’t you?”) giving Past Eden reflexively predictable answers, so she can more easily get the response she wants and shut Past Eden’s objections down when Past Eden clearly has more to say by interrupting her (“I do, but-”...”Yes, but-”). She employs the same tactic again with “More than anything else in the world?”, except when she gets the affirmation she wants, she uses the absolute of “anything else in the world” to dismiss what Catherine and the Beadnells want, and by extension, what Past Eden wants. The message from this she’s sending Past Eden is that by her own desire to be a star more than anything else in the world, it’s her own fault for not being able to spend time with Catherine or the Beadnells because they fall under “anything else in the world”. In short, the problem is Past Eden’s fault. Which it isn’t, but Marie wants Past Eden to think that it is, so she bends to Marie’s will more easily. And eventually, she wants Past Eden to bend to her way of thinking too:

"Marie: Then what Catherine and the Beadnells want doesn't matter! What do I always tell you? 

Eden: In a selfish world, the selfish succeed. 

Marie: That's right. And if you want to succeed, you must use every second of your time selfishly. 

Eden: Yes, Aunt Marie. 

Marie: Good choice. I'm proud of you. Now go work your scales until dinner's ready." 

Marie defines how Past Eden should feel, and then tops it off with a dose of conditional affection. She makes Past Eden repeat a mantra she has told her in the past (hence the “always”): “In a selfish world, the selfish succeed”. Her goal is to make Past Eden internalize this value and eventually have it dictate her life, so she shuts down any other avenue for Past Eden to deviate from this. No Catherine, no Christmas, no disagreeing with her on any level.

Ironically, it should be said that Marie is telling Past Eden to be selfish and to “use every second of her time selfishly”, yet there’s no room for Past Eden herself to define “selfish” for herself. How can Past Eden truly live selfishly if she’s not allowed to define what selfish is for herself? She can’t, it’s a contradiction, and it exposes that Marie doesn’t want Past Eden to live selfishly with regard to herself. No, Marie wants Past Eden to live selfishly with regards to her, and wants Past Eden to only think she’s living selfishly for herself. A line earlier in the movie supports this and puts Marie pushing Past Eden to practice in a new light: “(In a selfish world, the selfish succeed) was my excuse for not having the talent to become a star myself!" This makes it seem like Marie was living vicariously through Past Eden due to her failed aspirations, like those dance moms who live through their daughters.

Of course, Past Eden finally relents to Marie as she’s no longer being allowed a voice in this conversation and Marie rewards her with “Good choice. I’m proud of you”. The “good choice” sounds vaguely threatening, as if implying there was a BAD choice in the first place, but the small bit of praise in “I’m proud of you” is an example of conditional affection, especially in the context of Marie giving it. Past Eden bowed to her wishes, thus she “earned” Marie’s affection. This is a bad message to send to Past Eden, as it says to her that she’s only worth the affection when she agrees with Marie. Essentially, she’s not worth loving as her own person, only as what Marie wants her to be.

After this, Past Eden sneaks out when her Aunt is asleep and sleds to Catherine's house. She briefly gets to celebrate Christmas with her friend and the rest of the Beadnells, but then a knock comes at the door. Aunt Marie had woken up and is there to yell at Past Eden and drag her back home.

When the knock comes, Present Eden’s reaction is worth noting, especially to determine how the following events affected her long after they initially occurred:

"Present Eden, to the Ghost of Christmas Past: Take me home. Now. 

Ghost of Christmas Past: Why? We're having so much fun! 

knocking gets louder and more insistent

Present Eden: NOW! 

Door opens to reveal Marie standing in the doorway

Aunt Marie: Where. Is. EDEN?!"

    Present Eden’s immediate distress with the smile vanishing off her face to be replaced with a scared expression at the sound of the knock and her increasingly insistent demands for the Ghost of Christmas Past to take her home before the door opens signifies that this particular part of the memory was traumatizing for her. It also implies that Eden, both Past and Present, is afraid of her Aunt Marie. This isn’t the first time Present or Past Eden have shown fear in Marie’s presence. Earlier, in the beginning of the flashback, when Aunt Marie addresses Past Eden, Present Eden recoils with a fearful expression on her face at the sound of Marie’s voice. Past Eden also has trouble keeping sustainable eye contact with Marie, especially when Marie is looking directly at her, which could be a sign of intimidation or anxiety.

    The traumatizing part of this event wasn’t just Marie angrily demanding to know where Past Eden was though, as is revealed when Present Eden relays the rest of what happened in her bedroom with her knees pulled up to her chest:

"Present Eden: She ruined the whole holiday. Just stood there, screaming, for what seemed like forever. At me, at Catherine, at the Beadnells, oh, it was horrible. That was my last Christmas there. Aunt Marie never left me alone for a second after that. 

Ghost of Christmas Past, placing a hand on Present Eden’s: I'm so sorry, Eden. 

Present Eden, shrugging off the Ghost of Christmas Past’s hand and getting up from the bed to fluff her hair: Don't be. Aunt Marie was right! I wasted time on those silly Christmas pageants for the Beadnells. After that, I concentrated on myself. And you know what happened? I made my Covent Garden debut at thirteen. Thirteen."

    According to Present Eden, Marie screamed at not just Past Eden, but everyone present. Not only is it already traumatizing for Past Eden to be yelled at by an adult figure she’s already shown signs of being scared of already, but it would also be mortally humiliating because she’d likely think the Beadnells are being yelled at because of her. As if Marie hadn’t already heaped enough undeserved blame onto Past Eden, intentionally or not.

    This event also marked a turn for the worse in Past Eden’s life. If Marie wasn’t controlling enough before by depriving Past Eden of social contact in favor of having her rehearse, she apparently became worse by “not leaving (Eden) alone for a second after that”. That, coupled with that being Eden’s last Christmas at the Beadnell’s, likely means that Eden was completely socially isolated for the rest of her upbringing, except perhaps in special Marie-approved and supervised interactions.

    As if this wasn’t all bad enough, Present Eden also reveals two key pieces of information through mentioning her Covent Garden debut at thirteen years old. It confirms that Past Eden in the flashback was at the very least younger than thirteen, as Present Eden speaks about the debut as if it happened after Marie forced her away from the Beadnells, and that Eden was a child star. The abuse has been happening at the very least since Eden was younger than thirteen and she was a child star, which she does not have the proper support system to manage the stress that would come with that. And even Present Eden herself doesn’t seem too happy about it either for a split second.

While the peek into Eden’s childhood is brief, dissecting it reveals that it is far more insidious than it appeared to be upon first glance. Marie’s methods of molding Eden into what she wants is terrifying as she’s willing to sacrifice Eden’s happiness and agency as a person in order to further that end. And the worst part is that she succeeds. The Eden at the beginning of the movie is the result of years of being subjected to Marie’s abuse, someone who was never allowed to grow into her own person and probably doesn’t even know how to express herself properly beyond the toxic methods that Marie taught her. But the extent of Marie’s damage to Eden’s life will have to wait until another post, since that’s another deep hole I want to dive into but for the sake of staying on topic we’re leaving that for later. Thanks for reading!

Loose ends: 

- The hell was Eden eating in the flashback? It looked like burned potatoes and toast. I remember being baffled by this even as a kid, because I was confused that I was supposed to see that as food. The implication seems to be that Eden didn't have good food and nutrition growing up, which @/barbie-movie-reviews pointed out in their review of this movie could be why she was so passionate about her crumpets. I plan to expand on that later for another post, but Marie apparently can’t be bothered to get decent food for Eden.

- Aunt Marie's handmirror and her looking at herself in it is likely a visual shorthand for her being a selfish person like how she wants Eden to be, especially since she is supposed to be the Jacob Marley of the story and the mirrors are her “chains”. Though now I get more of the impression of "narcissistic tendencies", which are apparently common in emotionally abusive parents.

- Aunt Marie tells Eden that after dinner they rehearse, implying Eden just ate dinner, and then later orders her to practice her scales until dinner is ready? It's either an inconsistency or awkward wording.

[yandere-society]

The Ultimatum

Synopsis: Valentine’s Day has rolled around once again, and just like last year, you plan on spending it with none other than your emotional support dog. What you don’t know, however, is that you have an unexpected visitor awaiting for you at home.. and not only does he have a loaded gun on his hip, but he also has your beloved pet in his lap.

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Word Count: 6,000

Admin: @tatertotthethot​

Valentine’s Day Event Masterlist

Trigger warnings: yandere-themes, signs/mentioning of mental disorders such as: anxiety, depression, PTSD and dissociation; Mentions of gang violence; Depictions of gore; nonconsentual kissing (nothing sexual); no dogs were harmed in the making of this…

“Here you go, guys.” You said as you handed the couple across the counter their drinks. You returned their smiles and bid them a good day, but as soon as they turned away and linked their fingers together on the way out, your expression settled into one of disdain.

Baley, your manager, noticed it. But like always, she chose to ignore it. She’s very much use to your secretive, albeit bitter distaste towards romance. She’s been working along side you for two years now, and knows that you’re a big advocate for holiday decorations. You’ve decked the place out on Halloween, thanksgiving, Christmas— even fucking Saint Patrick’s day. But for Valentine’s Day, all you did was slap some heart shaped stickers on the window and didn’t even look too happy to be doing that, either. But she’s never been one to push.

“Guess what I’m doing this evening,” She hinted, hanging the ‘closed’ sign on the door.

“Hm?” You asked, having zoned out while rinsing your shot glasses out.

“I’m gonna eat the rest of my edibles and read some alien erotica.”

Not expecting anything less from her, given her personality, you only choked out a laugh and shook your head. It’d be more amusing if you knew she wasn’t kidding. Baley has a weird obsession with aliens and you never took her serious about it until you bought her a tentacle dildo as a gag-gift on her birthday, and instead of laughing about it and going off into a banter like you were anticipating, she started screaming and jumping up and down like you just handed her the last Golden Ticket to the fucking chocolate factory.

“What about your boyfriend?” You asked, forcing yourself to engage in conversation to keep you from spiraling.

“He’s out of town. So I’ll be thinking of him as I read about the alien king abducting me and using my tenta-holes—“

“Never mind.” You cut her off, trying to let that lighten up the mood. You appreciated the effort, but it didn’t work. You just wanted today to be over.

It’d be a whole lot better if only you could tell her the truth and come clean about your past. But it’s not like she’d believe you, even if you had the guts. But in all honesty, her fantasy about alien abduction was more believable.

You’re a barista making $10 an hour, living paycheck to paycheck and inhabiting the house your grandmother left you in her will. You have no car, you rely on public transportation; all your clothes are from goodwill and when you’re not working at this shop, you spending your life in confinement of those walls with your dog, as a recluse.

If you even dared to tell Baley that, just three years ago, you were living in a million-dollar mansion in South Korea, and had a luxurious wardrobe from big-name designers and that you didn’t even own a pair of fucking socks that were under $100.. she’d look at you as if you were the alien. She wouldn’t entertain the bigger half of the story, about how you were engaged to a man who’s now serving a life sentence and could possibly be put on death row for committing a robbery that left one of the international banking systems short 23-million won— which would amount to be approximately 20 million dollars in America... you would’ve lost her at the word Fiancé.

It’d be easy to prove, though. Your associations to the crime may not show up in your background check, being as you’re back here in America and was never detained, and the news isn’t relevant enough to circulate here. However, a simple google search would reveal it all, even with pictures of you two in public.

But not even you wanted to look up his name to know what was going on with his case. You were still ambient to forget about him, in a way. You wanted to ignore his existence. You fucking loath that man.. you swear, you do.

You had fallen back into a brooding silence again without even meaning to, and although you were busily cleaning up off muscle memory, you were detached. He still has that effect on you. And truth be known, the first year you spent in lonesome isolation after leaving Korea was just a change of scenery but not very different from the lifestyle he had subjected you to. But even still, it was so much better than living with him at the estate. And now, with your dog Sweetpea there, you feel safe again. At least you were in the same place you grew up, and felt closer to your grandmother—

Fuck, you missed her so much. He wouldn’t even let you visit her in person before she past. The man owned his own private jet and it never had any maintenance problems until the one fucking night you needed to go back home. You only got to speak with her on the phone, and bawled your fucking eyes out and spewed out an incoherent apology just hours before her heart gave out. That’s when she told you that she left you the house, and how sorry she was for kicking you out of it because you didn’t pursue the career field she wanted you to go for.

If only they would’ve arrested Taehyung a month prior, you could’ve been there for her. You could’ve hugged her and the two of you could given each other the apology you both deserved.

“Hey..” Baley’s voice suddenly came to your left ear, the only one that you could actually hear out of. Your right one, despite being 80% deaf even with a functioning hear aid, was faintly ringing from the emotional tangent you had accidentally drifted into.

You looked over at her, and broke down. Although she could never fully understand, she still gave you an empathetic frown and was pulling you into a hug before you could sputter out an apology— not that there was any use for one.

You had secrets that still haunted you, and will always impair your daily life— much like your botched eardrum and this shitty device you spent way too much money on. That’s another thing you only had Kim Taehyung to thank for, along with your fucked up shoulder.

You had to carefully elevate your arms but eventually returned the hug and cried a little harder, not able to help it. Sweetpea was a great reciprocate for affection and did a swell job with distracting you, but as far as human comfort goes, you haven’t had so much as that in.. well, seven fucking years. Tae was always big on affection, and also comforted you when you needed it. But it was redundant and didn’t have a sincere effect, being as he was the very one that initially caused the hurt it derived from.

“I don’t know what the hell is going on with you, I never do... but I want you to know that I can see how strong you are. You’re doing a great job at making it through each day...” she muttered, rubbing your back as it shook with each silent sob. You felt bad when you heard her own voice beginning to thicken, but that was no surprise. She was a sympathizer and a little bit emo in general. Seeing others cry was enough to jerk a tear out of her, and you loved that about her. She’s a weirdo, but she’s pure, and she’s very good hearted. You could even say that you may have deeper feelings for her as well, and they may even be mutual, but you were no good for her. Hell, you were already putting her in enough danger just by being an employee at her shop. If you were to let your relationship stem past being friendly coworkers, or even hung out with her outside of work, that could pose an actual threat to her safety.

So, even though you wanted to lengthen the embrace, and longed to tighten your arms around her even more, you pulled back and wiped at your face, giving her a weak grin and a nod instead.

She squeezed your shoulders one last time before taking a step back, recollecting herself.

“You go home. I got everything else.”

You sheepishly nodded again, thanking her one last time before collecting your things and booking it out of there. Had you not felt so broken and defeated in that moment, you would’ve refused. But her show of affection triggered a deep, dire need to give and be given more comfort.

Fortunately for you, though, you had a special someone for that. Your dog is the only living creature on this planet that can be trusted with the revelations of your past. She’s the only reliance you have for receiving unconditional love and support without any judgment... probably because she doesn’t even understand what the fuck you’re saying half the time, nor can she repeat the shit you say, but as far as comfort goes, it’s always a guarantee.

— That’s just in her nature, like most pets. Pitbulls, however, are very sensitive and attentive to certain emotions— especially depression and anxiety. They’re just as good with protecting their owners, as well as they are with babysitting them. Everyone knows pitbulls have a notorious and misguided reputation for being aggressive. But little do most know, before dog fighting became a popular thing and defamed their personalities, pitbulls were primarily referred to as ‘Nanny dogs’. They’re great with babies in general, and very domestic and charismatic by nature. But despite being big, loveable goof balls themselves, they can literally sense stressful emotions and will know what type action to take in order to sedate them.

Sweetpea may not have professional training and certification but it is by her true nature and personality that you call her an Emotional Support Dog. When you’re having another one of your episodes— panic attacks, senseless paranoia, nightmares— she’s running to your aid and doing anything she can to distract and get you to play with her. When you’re depressed and spiraling into another breakdown, she licking at your face and sitting in your lap, not even seeing the problem with her being three times bigger than the average lap dog—

“Kneehemplamaforseeking?”

You sucked in a breath and blinked over at the PetsMart employee, smiling a few away from you. You probably looked lost, and in a way you quite literally were. You hardly remember walking in the direction of this store, let alone entering it. But this a common thing for you, so you easily just went on about your way despite the sudden worry of missing your bus... again.

“I’m sorry, what’d you say?” You had asked, turning your good ear towards her and watching her lips move.

“Do you need help looking for something?” She repeated, carefully annunciating her words this time, now that she could see the device in your ear. In today’s age, most people mistake it as a bluetooth— which has unknowingly saved you from accidentally talking to yourself in public, more than you would know.

You shook your head in response to the lady, and checked the time on your phone. You had 30 minutes left, thank God.

“No thanks. I’m just here to get some treats and waste some time before my bus comes. It’s windy as hell outside.”

“Ah, it certainly is,” she agreed, making her way to the next aisle. “Be safe out there!”

“I’ll try.” You muttered to yourself, grabbing a bag of bacon strips off the shelf— the very thing you had ultimately came for. It should’ve taken you no more than 5 minutes to grab and go. But it wasn’t uncommon for you to take much longer and aimlessly wonder down multiple aisles only to get one or two things from the same aisle, though. You do it at every store you go to, if you can stand to be outside of your home or away from work.

After checking out, you made it a mission to stay present until your bus came. By the time you got home, you were more stable.. up until the bus driver— a sweet elderly man who’s been transporting you on this route for last couple of years, handed you a rose on your way down the stairs.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, young lady.”

You had the strength to give him a genuine smile, but as soon as you stepped off and the doors closed, and the bus engine picked back up and left you with a gust of wind, you broke again.

Taehyung always gave you a bouquet of blood red roses for Valentine’s Day. He knew you were a sucker for them. And you still are, but sentiment wasn’t the only emotion to come now. They brought on an ache. A pain. A worry. A twinge of longing, but a fuckton of resentment.

You wanted to throw it on the ground and stomp at it.. better yet, you wanted to set it on fire and watch it burn while smoking a much needed cigarette. But first, you need to see your dog. You know she’s just as anxious to see you.

You trudged up to your door and was quick to unlock it... but frowned when you didn’t see her on the other side. Maybe it was because your ears were ringing again from how worked up you’d just gotten. But usually, the mere sound of your key twisting at the lock would have her running to the and practically beating it down, and you’d opened to see her gleefully wining out and wagging her tail.

But she wasn’t there.

“Sweetpea?” You called out, making it a point to swing the door shut behind you. Still, nothing—

Whimpering. You heard her whimpering and your head snapped over to the hallway. Your heart began to race. Your bed door was open, as always, and you could hear her in there but she wasn’t coming out. Only whimpering for you to come to her.

Fearing the worst, thinking perhaps she’d hurt herself to the extent that she couldn’t move, you barged down the hallway and listened with a sickening sense of uneasiness as her whimpering turned to muffled howls.

“Sweetpea, wha—“

You screamed. Sheer horror and white-hot adrenaline erupted through your veins and scorched your nerve endings, leaving you numb in the limb to the impact of the floor beneath your kneecaps. All you could feel was the volcanic eruption of despair in your chest and the strain in your diaphragm.

Sweetpea was okay, but very much in danger. She had a muzzle on, and her big, canopy-like ears were peeled back and her big, doughy eyes were wildly beading dead at you as she struggled and pawed at the carpet, watching you fall to you fall out. She was so worried to get to you but she couldn’t, do to the death grip of the man who was holding her by a leash. She couldn’t even interpret the lethality of the weapon that was also aimed at the back of her head— a glock you specially recall being the weapon of choice when Taehyung pistol whipped a man’s head open before emptying all twelve rounds in his magazine into his face.

Now, all you could envision was the same being done to that sweet face and big, bulbous head.

You screamed out and wailed even louder, not even looking at the intruder or registering who it was. Because you already fucking knew and in your mind it was too late.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” He roared, making you and Sweetpea flinch. You stopped screaming but your breath was ragged beyond your control. Your vision was bouncing between his fierce scowl and Sweetpea’s fearsome one. You dove forward, intending to crawl and beg but two pairs of shoes stepped out from where they’d been standing behind the door, and their hands gripped you by the biceps before hauling you up to your feet. You didn’t even try to resist them. You knew better than that. But fear still had you discombobulated and speaking out to yourself, feeling incredibly dizzy and disarrayed.

“Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!”

“You’re not dreaming.” Taehyung snarled, palm itching to slap some sense into you. But even within the three years he’s spent in bitterness, it didn’t change the morality he did have in relations to you. He’d never hit you out of anger.

But then he realized the real reason why you were saying that, when your knees suddenly gave out and the hold his men had on you became the only thing keeping you up right as you fainted out. He didn’t realize you still had that problem, and it hurt him to see that now.

Back when he had you in his possession, you had accidentally witnessed an execution down in the basement of his mansion. It was the first time you fainted, a d your body came toppling down a good ten-or-so steps, which were made of cement, and you were lucky to have only broken your nose and dislocated your shoulder.

Guilt crashed over him, suddenly. He meant to terrorize you in a way that wasted little time to gain submission, but he didn’t mean to trigger your PTSD— although he knew it was likely. Given the resolve, he put the gun back in its holster and stood up, beckoning for Yoongi to take the leash. Jungkook easily held you up by the waste and waited to pass you off to your fiancé before bringing your wrists behind your back. You slowly came to as he did so, and your head lolled back up only for your entire body to snap back into attention all at once, now that you were face to face with the Devil himself.

“Come on, you fucking idiot!”

Your head snapped over and you began to panic again as Yoongi fought with your, trying to drag her over to her cage by the leash. She was putting up one hell of a fight and audibly wheezing from the choke, her eyes now bulging as she looked at you.

You bucked against the both of them, your maternal instincts causing you to go feral as you saw red.

“QUIT! YOU’RE FUCKING CHOKING HER, YOU FUCKING PRICK! PICK HER UP!”

“She’s too squirmy!” He shouted back, the shock of your outburst causing him to lose tension and Sweetpea lunged the both of them forward. Tae was shouting at Jungkook to hurry with the restraints and squeezing you tighter, but you were kicking and flailing like a fish out of water now.

“MAKE HIM STOP!” You cried out, but was forcefully silenced by the gigantic hand that grabbled around the entire bottom half of your face— including your nose. Having been in this situation before, knowing his antics, you knew he wasn’t going to let you breathe again until you did as told. So you were forced to settle down but was still desperately pleading with your eyes, crying as your dog continued to heave against the menstruations.

“Yoongi, for fuck sake, the dog is 50 pounds. Just pick her up and put your in the kennel.” Tae stressed, eyes still locked with yours.

With a grunt, Yoongi tackled your dog and trapped her in a bear hug, snatching her up off the ground. You wanted to scream at him again but you were actually starting to struggle for oxygen, chest jolting with an involuntary attempts to inhale.

“Alright, they’re on. I just gotta link them.”

Tae’s hand finally dropped and you hacked out, swallowing as much air as you could. Now that Sweetpea was safely in her cage, you had time to worry about your own safety, but the look on his face wasn’t giving off such a merciful vibe.

“You do whatever you want to me. I don’t care. I won’t fight back... but if you hurt my dog—“

“If I hurt your fucking dog, it’ll just be tough shit for you. I’ll still do whatever the hell I want and unless you need me to prove that, I suggest you stop with ultimatums..” he chuckled, but it sounded so cold and twisted. He was on the verge of snapping, and was fighting to keep as much composure as he could right now, for your sake.

But he was on a heist right now, you readied yourself for the unknown when he punctuated his sentence by grappling your throat with the same, vandalized and accessorized hand he just smothered you with— fingers digging in at the sides. Your breathing was once again constricted and your eyes reddened in strain, your voice dying out.

Tae may not beat you, but he knows your worse fear is dying by suffocation. Hence, why he’s so big in breath play.

“Can you?” He reiterated, snarling his teeth at you and revealing the top and bottom pair of golden, fang-shaped plates framing his pearly white canine teeth. Back in the day, you found them so extravagant and tasteful, but now you found them all the more threatening.

He waited until your eyes began fluttered back before letting go again, and Jungkook’s body was the only thing that saved you from falling back. You never understood why, but for some reason, Jungkook was the only person Tae allowed to be in closer range of you, even when it wasn’t necessary. He even reminded you of that when Yoongi had stepped a little too close and Taehyung shot a glare over to him that had him taking a couple steps back. But Jungkook was apparently free to stand there, holding you up even as you regained your footing. You feared that one day it will all make sense, but for now, you were thankful that he was there to at least to save you from collapsing.

It’d be great if they weren’t even fucking here, at all.

“Go put the kennel in the car— not on the seats, though. Hobi will kill me if I fuck up the interior.”

“Please let me rehouse her.” You begged, cringing as his eyes returned to you. They looked even more colorless than before. “I’ll come with you, but I don’t want her there with us.”

“She’s fine. As long as she doesn’t shit and piss everywhere and doesn’t chew any of my shit, or try to attack me, I’ll let you keep her.”

“You were just holding a fucking gun to her head, Taehyung. Please let me rehouse her. My friend Baley will take her. All I gotta do is leave her in the cafe with a note— I have the keys. I’ll even let you write the fucking note yourself and we can go...” It was significantly getting harder to speak, now that your airways were irritated and your unsteady emotions were only making it worse.

You had already accepted your fate, but had a twinge of hope left that he’d at least hear you out on that request. His features had softened into a crestfallen display of guilt, and remorse. But your faith in him shattered all over again when he stubbornly shook his head and reached for the gun again. You were just about to throw another fit until he pulled the magazine out and showed it to you.

It was empty, until he pocketed it and pulled out a fully-loaded one and clipped it into place, before putting it back in the holster.

He tricked you, and although it was still pretty fucking evil, you were relieved. He never intended to shoot her and wouldn’t have been able to, even if his finger applied enough pressure on the trigger. But you were still very much in the midst of an abduction, and you still hated this man for what he was doing to you now.

“Why are here?” You croaked.

“To come get you and our new pet,” he announced, faking the enthusiasm before reinforcing his glare. “I’m... incredibly pissed about the fact that abandoned me.. but even more so offended by the negligence to stay updated.”

His eyes then caught the flash of a blue light at your ear. Your hearing aid was dying and faintly peeping in your ear. The remembrance had his entire demeanor shift to a sullen one, like a switch.

“But at the same time—“ his voice had fallen into a lower pitch, almost to the point of being a whisper as he stepped closer and easily molded his hands around your face. You suddenly felt fragile, but not in a way that made you giddy, like it use to. Now, you had to swallow down the bile in your throat and fight against the nausea as his suddenly lips came near.

“—It’s really hard take that out on you, when I can’t even blame you for it. But It’s been three fucking years, honey. Three. How could you not even have enough concern for my well being, to not even send a fucking post card? Did you really think you‘d never see me again, and that you had snuck away from me? I knew what you were doing, and where you were going before you even boarded your fucking flight.”

“You’re suppose to be in jail. I thought you were letting me go.”

“First of all, you didn’t even know the original plan to think that it had failed. All my charges have been dropped and the suspicion of my involvement dismissed. Namjoon has been found guilty and is now serving that sentence, like I had initially plotted from the beginning. You never knew shit to fucking assume anything!”

You glared at him despite the jolt that came with his drastic notch in volume, and not your tongue as he went on.

“But I did allow you to leave the country, but only to give you space and to let you touch base with... whatever the fuck it is that you still find valuable here. I didn’t think I’d have to clarify the circumstances of your stay, but for you to not even reach out.. and the fact you got some shitty, minimum wage job on top of it all, when you still have access to the saving account I’ve put in your name.. You really thought we were over? You haven’t even checked the news articles to see any updates on the case. I’ve been out for a week!”

He was still holding your face but his hands were shaking and the pressure was increasing again. He always pulls back and regains control over his temper before inflicting harm, but it’d be foolish to not expect him to one day lose that control. He’s hurt you on ‘accident’ before. He’s slaughtered many people, more than you’ll ever know to keep count. Nothing is sacred.

But now, you are a lot more contempt and able to tolerate the fear of him hurting you on impulse, being as Sweetpea was out of harms way and no longer in the room. You were still shaking though and had closed your eyes, bracing for it. But the jerk of shock only came when his suddenly lips covered your’s, and Jungkook finally backed away.

The kiss only lasted about three solid seconds before he pulled back, and was heavily panting through his nose. You dared to look up and caught a glimpse of the physical pain marring his features. His eyes had gone watery and his jaw began ticking like a time bomb, nostrils flaring and chest rising. He pressed his forehead against your’s and snaked his fingers into the hair at the nape of your neck, trying to fight off his own sobs and choking on them more and more with each second.

“You hate me.. you haven’t even missed me.” His voice was so thickened by his emotions that it deepened the natural richness he already had, making it sound contorted and almost inhuman. A tear dropped down his nose bridge and hit your quivering lips, and for the life of you, you couldn’t fight back the heart wrenching burn it inflicted on you.

How could you still feel anything for this man? It can’t be. It just fucking can’t be..

But it was. You were so bewildered and petrified by the oncoming sympathy that it stunned you into a froze state of shock. He kissed you again, thinking it was a show of fear for own safety— and he was right to interpret the fear, but it was with different cause. He was steadily conjuring up feelings that you wished you could’ve watched burn, like you had intended to do with the rose your bus driver gave you. But here you were, heart bleeding for him.

You still didn’t reciprocate the kiss but it brought on more involuntary anguish.. you cried harder and so did he, and as he leaned your head back to kiss at your neck, you stared in perplexing awe at the gigantic bouquet of roses sitting on your nightstand.

“It’s okay. I‘ve missed you too fucking much to punish you now.” He calmed, and took a good 30 seconds to regain his composure. There was still a groggy undertone in his next words, but once again, he was back in his domineering mindset. “But I ain’t cutting you that much slack.”

You yelped when he suddenly shoved you back, straight into Jungkook for the nth time. He heatedly wiped at his eyes and stepped back, and it was the first time you took in how much more muscular and rigid he’d become over the years.

Before, he was a lot more slender and you’re certain that the very shirt he’s wearing now use to be at least 2 sizes too big on him before.. however, the black silk was skin-tight and clinging to the humps of his biceps, and straining around the buttons between his pectorals. His skin was more pale than ever before but now you could see a tattoo curving along his temple, arcing aside the edge of his pierced brow. The word that was written in elegant, cursive writing made your heart palpitate and your stomach twist even more.

Honey. That was your signature endearment. That was the name you’d given him in place of your real one the very night he met you, and asked for it.

This crazy motherfucker really is obsessed with you. How he can lie to you, deceive you, punish you and drive you fucking bonkers and stalk you down only in the act of what he calls love.. and for it to actually be a form of true—albeit dangerous love, was beyond you.

The scripture on his handsome, albeit matured face distracted you for a few seconds. You snapped out of it when Jungkook suddenly hauled you up by the midsection and slammed you down on the bed, pinning his hand down between your shoulder blades and rendering you defenseless.

“What are you doing? Taehyung! Please! Get him off of me!”

“If I could trust you to stay still, I would.” His voice was neutral again, despite a offhanded sniff. You struggled to look back, but it was no use as he was standing out of view.

“Stay still for what?”

“Do you still have your ring?” He asked instead, ignoring you.

“It’s in my nightstand drawer. Now tell me—“

“Told you she kept it,” Jungkook finally spoke— and just like it was back then, it was a very rare occurrence for when he did speak on your behalf. That’s another thing nobody else dared to do, unless asked. But knowing that he was the one stalking you for Taehyung made you all the more disturbed with him.

“Fucking creep. You’re hurting me!” you screamed at him, and he had the audacity to increase pressure. Tae said nothing, nor did he stop his friend from retaliating.

“I also know about your little affair with your coworker. Since when did you start swinging both ways?”

“What are you talking about?” You growled, and he only snorted in response.

“She knows you like her. She knows you stare at her ass every time she bends over and that you bend over on purpose to make her look at yours. She knows you like it when she slaps it.”

You, one again, went unmoving.

Jeon Jungkook is her fucking boyfriend.

“What does Jk even stand for?”

“Jackson. But he doesn’t like to be called Jackie, and you know how I am about nicknames. So I call him JK.”

“Don’t you fucking hurt her, Jungkook. You leave her alone. Tae, don’t you let him—“

“Don’t you worry about me.”

“BALEY?!”

Baley walked into view, an unreadable expression on her face. The mere realization of what was happening finally over filled your mental tolerance and you brain suddenly launched you away from reality.

The beach. You were at the beach with your cousins, all of you a little over the age of 18. You were on spring break your senior year in highschool and talking about the future. Graduation. Prom. College~

“She’s zoned out.” Baley said, and Jungkook finally let go. You were indeed paralyzed and had completely dissociated, talking to yourself. Taehyung, with a fully-loaded syringe in his hand, leaned over to look at your face. Your pupils were dilated, eyes stargazing in general, lips softly moving as you babbled nonsense. He hated knowing that it was coming to this, but he swore he’d earn your forgiveness.

“I’m gonna get your ear fixed.. or at least get you a better device. We’re gonna be okay. We’re so fucking rich now, I don’t even know what to do with all our money— only to turn it into more. I won’t have to work as much. We can get married, have the best fucking honey moon we can imagine. We can get started on a family. I’ll win your dog over, too. I promise.”

He sank the needle into your bicep, and you didn’t even flinch. Only blinked in rhythm as a tear fell.

“I’m gonna be a forensic scientist, like Mawmaw wants me to be.” You incoherently muttered, having said that to your friend, Jessica, on the beach.

It was insensitive, but he couldn’t help but crack a grin at that. Whatever memory you were reliving at the moment, was quite sometime before you actually began your classes for such profession. He bent down and kissed your cheek one last time as he injected the entirety sedation serum into your system and pulled it out. But you were oblivious to it all.

“I think I’m smart enough...”

”You’re very book smart, baby. But you’re probably gonna drop out after three semesters and become a bar tender at a strip club, because you’re not fit to be a homicidal investigator. You’re too soft.”

“I’m not..”

“You sure?”

“I’m gonna be a forensic scientist, like Mawmaw wants me to be.”

“Well, you’re gonna become my wife before you become anything else.”

“Ew, don’t even play like that. You’re my cousin.”

“Jeez..” Baley muttered. “You really have driven her a little bat-shit, huh? This is way more disturbing than I anticipated—“

“Babe, lets go sit in the car. Come on,” Jungkook hurried, pulling her out of the room.

Taehyung continued to whisper sweet nothings into your deafened ear, but the last night you heard before it all went blank was the perfect, bittersweet saying that bidded you goodbye for the night.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Honey.”

[southernrays]

location: Fairvale + Jesup/Atlanta in flashbacks date: The second week of July 2020 + Ray’s entire life availability: closed solo tldr: Ray ponders his love life before-during-after the apocalypse cw for: transphobia, disclosure talks, transitioning, divorce, drugs (mentioned not used) and all of the general heart break affiliated with young love.

000.

Ray fell in love too easily.

It had always been a problem, really, but there was no real fix. Ray loved deeply, easily, and with his whole entire heart. He had done so since he was a kid, and he would probably always do so, apocalypse or not.

001.

His first crush had been on Brittany Walker when he was six years old. That was before he was Ray, before he was even Nate, but a crush was a crush.

Brittany was the most popular girl in their elementary school. Jesup was a small town that only grew smaller the older they got, and Ray was one of ten in his class. Brittany was classically pretty - blonde hair, blue eyes, a big smile, and kind eyes - but Ray knew it was more that that. He didn’t want to be Brittany’s friend, he wanted to be her best friend, and got jealous of everyone else. When the town got a new set of siblings, brother and sister, and Brittany started hanging out with them instead of him, Ray’s father noticed the frowns and sad looks at the dinner table.

“What’s wrong, champ?” David had asked, the nickname sticking from a t-ball championship streak of two years. Ray had pouted over the okra on his plate, and not just because it was slimy.

“Brittany has new friends and likes them better. But I like her more than anyone else on the playground.”

“Is that right now?” David had amusement in his eyes when he tried to keep a straight face, and Ray was old enough to see it. He was deceptively perceptive for his age and already a good people watcher at the bar. David knew that.

“I’m serious Dad. I’d marry her, like you and mom.”

Ray was still just six, though. He didn’t notice the tense of his father’s shoulder, the way he glanced over to make sure that his wife wasn’t in the room. He didn’t notice the frown lines on his face or how unhappy he had been for the last six years. He didn’t know that the divorce papers will be signed before their next Christmas, and it will be spent without Regina Turner. That all of his birthdays and holidays and life events would be without her, forever, very soon.

“That’s a whole lot of like, kiddo.”

“I mean it, Pa.”

“That’s alright champ. You can marry whoever you want to when you get older, alright? I’ll love you no matter what.”

“Alright dad,” little Ray had said with a wrinkle of his nose. “Don’t make it weird.”

David’s laugh had filled the kitchen, and Ray felt better about it all.

002.

Ray didn’t have a type growing up. The people he liked, he liked individually, not because they fit into a mold that checked off imaginary boxes. In high school his eyes turned towards a new girl in town that’s aesthetic screams southern gothic in an unironic way. Hailee wore her eye liner too thick, kept her music too loud, wore too much black and metal, and glared at everyone at Jesup’s only high school like their mere presence bothered her. Ray had no idea, in retrospect, why he was drawn to her, but he was. Ray was finally Nate by then, finally himself in his own skin and his own clothing and no one could take that from him. Not the busybodies of Jesup, not his mother’s stinging palm on his cheek, and not any pastor of a Church he wasn’t apart of, praying to a man he didn’t believe in. 

Ray was unapologetically himself, and maybe he was drawn to someone else like that, too.

Hailee avoided him like the plague, too, at first. She scoffed at his worn levis and dirty cowboy boots. She ignored Ray when the popular crowd stopped by his locker. Ray was popular, too, in spite of his transition and small town gossip. His father owned one of the only bars in town that made him cool, and a source of liquor for unage drinking and parties. Ray didn’t care much for that, but he did appreciate the socialization of it all.

“Hey, Hailee, wait up now,” Ray had called out, almost not recognizing his own voice after his second puberty. 

“What do you want, Nate?” Her eyes had narrowed, pretty and green despite the kohl surrounding them. 

“You to come to Nick’s party this weekend. What do ya say?” Ray rocked back on his heels, nervous of her answer. People in the hallway stopped to look at them, and Ray wondered what they saw. Was it the stubble on his chin, his recent growth spike, and the new squareness of his hips? Or was it the same kid that had been there since pre-school, unable to leave that old, uncomfortable skin behind.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Yeah? You do that, then. I can pick ya up on the bike if you want?” 

Her eyes flashed with something dangerous, then, and Ray knew he had hooked her. What kind of edgy girl could resist showing up to the party on the back of a sick motorcycle?

They find themselves in a closet, of all places, in the middle of the night. Ray tasted tequila on her lips when she slotted their hips together. He pushed back, pinning her against a wall as he slipped his tongue into her mouth. The groan she let out was sweet music to his ears and she melted like putty against his strong frame.

“Worth comin’ out for the party?” Ray asked against her lips. She bit his lip in retaliation before deepening the kiss. Ray’s hands wandered, fingers trailing the skin exposed by the black crop top she had decided to wear tonight. They separate when Ray needed to come up for air, harsh pants filling the small spaces of the closet.

“I didn’t expect it to be so good,” Hailee mumbled against his lips, and Ray can’t help but freeze.

“What? Kissin’ a redneck?” He tried to joke off, desperate for her to make some small town hick joke. Because Hailee was from Indianapolis. She was supposed to be edgy and alternative and beyond all of the small town gossip. She was different from the other people Ray had been taking hayrides with since the days of diapers. 

He expected more out of Hailee - maybe more than he should have, maybe more than what was fair - which is why the disappointment felt so much worse with her.

“No, you know...” A brief pause of hesitation and Ray prayed, dear God for her to say anything but what he thought she was going to say. “Kissing someone like you.”

Ray flinched back like someone had dropped a bucket of ice on him. His eyes sting for a brief second of embarrassment before the rage took over. He takes one deep breath, and then another. Man, testosterone was a potent thing, wasn’t it?

“I... I’ll see ya ‘round Hailey.”

“Wait - Nate - I didn’t ... I wasn’t trying to-”

Ray doesn’t hear the rest. He doesn’t need to.

003.

Dating Xavier was a mistake, plain and simple.

Ray was new to the area. He was finally free of his town, free of the stigma and the knowing looks, and the everything else that came with a town so small it felt like a fishbowl. Here, in Atlanta, he got to start over. He could be Nate from the beginning, without any need to pretend otherwise.

And Nate was a useless bisexual. Always had been.

Xavier was kind of a douchebag. He met Ray at a bar, of course, his band playing on the makeshift stage. Xavier was a drummer. He was so dang pretty, easy on the eyes, and kissed in a dirty, grungy sort of way that had it’s charms. He was nothing like Jesup kids; Xavier was spoiled, wild, a city boy through and through, and Ray craved the simplicity of it all.

Xavier (who went by X) was not a good guy and did drugs (most X) and got crossfaded out of his mind after shows. He stayed up crazy hours, usually high, and wrote all sorts of lyrics for his band. Their relationship, if you could call it that, was very brief and mostly physical.

“You should play guitar, babe, like for real, you know?” Xavier said, waking Ray up at five in the morning to tell him that.

“Why’s that, handsome?” Ray had answered, sleep still clogging his voice as he rolled over. It looked like X hadn’t been to sleep yet, which made sense considering the binge he had been on.

“It’d make you more edgy, right, like, you’d be hotter. Everyone’s hotter if they play guitar.”

“S’that why you’re a drummer?” Ray teased, but the fun nature of it went over Xavier’s head. He leveled a big scowl at Ray, and Ray sighed.

“No need to be mean, Nate.”

“Was just a joke, baby.” Ray opened up the covers of the bed, glancing at the clock again. Xavier’s pupils were so dilated that he couldn’t see his pretty brown eyes. “Come to bed soon?”

“You know I have to finish this song. We hit the road in three weeks for our tour.”

In that three weeks, Ray picked up a guitar and had his first lessons, broke up with Xavier, and never saw the guy again.

He was not more edgy, not in the slightest, but he did have a new guitar and a whole city to explore.

004.

Meeting Luci had been accidental in every way. He had picked up an extra shift at the bar that his manager forgot to write into the schedule, so when he showed up for it there was double staffing and no need for Ray to be there. Instead of spending a Friday night alone, at his apartment, he decided to stay. Ray nursed a couple of beers as the bar filled up and texted his friends to show up early.

The Drunken Crown was a sort of themed bar-slash-pub in Atlanta. It was smaller, which Ray appreciated, and had theme nights on the daily. A lot of the college kids from nearby spent their time there, and the average patron was generally on the younger side. On Fridays and Saturdays their theme rotated, and tonight’s was Historic Night. 

His friends arrived a bit later, dressed in Spartan battle gear. They did a couple rounds of shots before most of them took to the dance floor, leaving Ray laughing as he refused at the bar.

Ray had come dressed in an honest to goodness toga, including a gold spray-painted leaf crown and golden accessories. His time in the gym had definitely paid off as he was finally bulking up and gaining more definition in his shoulders. One or two girls had been orbiting around him, but Ray didn’t make any passes at anyone. He sipped on his beer, watching his coworkers make their rounds, and decided to people watch for the evening.

A group of flappers were tearing up the dance floor. Ray could see his buddy, Blake, drunkenly approaching them and attempting some dance moves that made him look ridiculous. Some guys in three piece suits were making out by the entrance. A group of hippies were eagerly chatting and mingling at the bar. Ray saw at least three girls who looked like some extras in a Nirvana video begging for some kind of song change from whatever was on the speakers.

Luci had been dressed up as an old writer, someone Ray knew the name of but couldn’t remember, not truly and definitely not any more, and kept all to herself in the very corner of the bar. She was sipping on some mixed drink and Ray’s eyes stopped on her. What was her story? The quiet girl, alone at the bar, barely hanging onto the fringes of all of the activity. 

He was intrigued, and he wanted to know.

A simple introduction was given. Ray prodded, trying to get a feel for the quiet girl, who opened up immediately when asked about her costume. Ray was no academic, but he appreciated the passion in her eyes when she spoke about something, voice louder than either one of them expected.

“I’m Nate, by the way. It’s nice to meet you.”

And it was. Luci was his opposite in so many ways. He hadn’t expected to see her again after that night, too shy to ask for her number and unsure if she was interested in giving it. His coworkers had given him hell for chickening out, and Ray just gave them a good-natured smile.

A week and a half later, Luci came in, dressed normally, while Ray was working. He spent the entire night neglecting his duties, trying to get a conversation out of her and working his own natural charm. And she came back the next week, and the week after, too. Soon Ray was brave enough to ask for her number. And she gave it to him.

Being with Luci was different. Their first date, Ray had taken her out of the city to a local dirt track. They went mudding in ATVs and Ray nearly fell off of his trying to impressive her halfway through. Luci’s eyes had been wide the entire time, soaking up the whole thing with a curiosity that Ray came to associate with her. One date turned into two, which turned into a whole series of exploring together. 

They took turns taking each other outside of their comfort zones. Ray taught Luci how to have fun the country way, with mudding and camping, and picnics in the bed of his truck as they watched the sun rise together. Luci surprised Ray with her deep thoughts, her sharp mind, and the push to better himself with her. She didn’t let him keep up his self-deprecation. They would have late night conversations, under the stars, all alone, wrapped up in each other.

She met his friends, his family, incorporated herself in his entire life.

Ray fell head over heels. And he told her so, earnest and eager and open to love. Open to a lifetime of learning and exploring with her. 

And she left him, at the edge of the cliff he was ready to jump off with no parachute, without so much as an explanation. And she took a part of him with her, whether she realized it or not, that never really came back.

005.

There were more. Some before Luci, some after. Each person was different - different backgrounds, ages, race, gender, personalities - but one thing always remained the same. Ray loved too hard, too much, too easily. Ray was open to the idea of commitment, and committed, too easily. 

 It didn’t matter who he was dating, he was the constant, he was the issue, and it hurt to admit.

Ray tried, and he loved, before-during-after the outbreak. And it went like this:

There was Rob, a brewmaster he met while at school. They dated for over a year, before graduation hit; Ray wanted to go to Atlanta and Rob wanted to go to family back in Miami.

“It’s like - you know - I really like you Nate. I like you a lot. But long distance? It never works. It’s better to end it now.”

There was Sage, a wild child trust fund girl that wanted to save the rainforest with Daddy’s money. She laughed when he asked her to be his girlfriend.

“That’s cute, you thought we were dating? It’s not that serious babe.”

There was Fi, a survivor in a camp Ray had stumbled across after leaving the Fort. She was the reason Ray stuck around for three weeks. They had had an awful fight before the camp was overrun, and she hadn’t made it out alive.

“You’re too soft, Ray. I’d chew up your sunshine and spit it out. I don’t want to see you again.”

There was Ronnie, the permanent student with four different bachelor degrees. He cheated on Ray with one of his roommates after six months of dating.

“I was bored, Nate. I’m not ready to just settle down, dude. You’re smothering me.”

There was Destiny, a small town, kindred girl he found in Atlanta not too long after Xavier. She had looked at him in the worst way when Ray had come out to her.

“I’m - I’m not - That’s not what God would want for you, you know?”

There was Jenny, a financial advisor that Ray had met through the bar and mutual friends. She had always been so carefree, maybe too carefree, maybe just too free in general.

“Oh Darlin’, I don’t think so. We’re not exactly endgame, are we?”

It didn’t matter who, when, where they were. Ray wasn’t worth keeping around - that was the universally proven fact. It was one he had to stomach his entire life, and well, it sucked, but Ray was not one to stay down. He washed off the mud, dusted off his boots, and got back up again.

000. +

Ray tried not to play the self pity card. It just wasn’t his style. But with the outbreak, losing his family, and trying to re-invent himself yet again? A relationship was the last thing he wanted or needed. Fairvale was a clean break, it was (mostly) mess free. He could be whoever he wanted or needed. He could start over, again. He could protect himself and his heart.

Love mucked all of that up. It always had.

So when he caught himself - again, Ray, really? - people watching with his eyes settling on one person, he ignored it. When he felt that small flip-flop in his belly at their smile, he pushed it down. When his day would brighten at the familiar face of a kind-of-regular-that-showed up, Ray decided he would not have a crush again, thank you very much, and make things uneven. 

He could not afford to give up his heart any more than he already had. He couldn’t afford to be let down, disregarded, by someone again.

[soliloquality]

For Now - T.C.

It’s been a few months and you guys miss each other, mostly fluff, one allusion to the deed (but not really)

word count: 1240

It’s hard sometimes, waking up in different cities, different countries, different continents.

I’m shooting in Massachusetts all through October. Fine, I’ll be in L.A. then, Eastern Romania in November, Brisbane for Christmas. 

No one ever said that love was easy, especially not with schedules and distance in the way, so it was needless to say that you were quite proud of yourself. It had been four months since you’d last seen your boyfriend and now it was just one more week until January 3rd, the day of your big reunion. It’d be all laughs and smiles, your L.A. apartment, then his parent’s house in New York. Ten days of just the two of you, no meetings, no appointments, no work. But for now, you still had six days to get through, one hundred and forty-four hours without hearing his voice in person or smelling his cologne, one hundred and forty-four hours without his touch. 

Brisbane’s your home, Christmas your favorite holiday, and yet you feel lonely because he isn’t here with you. It’s pathetic, you know that, but you can’t stop pitying youself. To be so far from the person closest to you, so excluded from his day to day life, yearning to share even the smallest parts of yours with him.

You met three years ago, introduced by Saoirse on a night out while the two were shooting Lady Bird and you were in the middle of rehearsals for Ready Player One. Just a few weeks and three dates later, you’d fallen for him, head over heels and whole-heartedly, smitten by his charm, his humor, his everything. He was your everything, but you were never in the same place for long, shooting movies all over, going on press tours, practically living on opposite sides of the world. But all of that would be temporarily forgotten in a few days, you’d be together and happy, and then it was just three more months until you finally moved to New York.

“It won’t make that much of a difference, but at least the time zones won’t be completely messed up. And we’ll be closer in distance, which is also a nice change,” Timmy had said once you announced your decision. “Exactly. And when I miss you too much I’ll just go see your parents. They’re much cooler than you anyways.” You’re not wrong about that, darling.

Lissy stepped inside the sun room, phone in hand. You perked up. “Someone called three times. Bet it’s the same someone that broke the internet last week?”

“I’d be disappointed if it wasn’t,” you laughed, taking the phone from your sister. That, the part about Timmy breaking the internet, already had your breath turning heavy. He’d posted a picture, taken the year that you had spent Christmas together at his parent’s house, your back facing the camera but head turned over your shoulder, biting down on a truffle with a mischievous glance in your eyes, Timmy on the couch behind you, holding his arms out in preparation for an embrace. Moments after, you’d dropped into his grasp, shared the treat with him, cracked a joke or two. For now, till you come home to me, that had been the caption and you had cried about it on facetime, neither joyful nor miserable, just overwhelmed with gratitude.

You spoke on the phone for a bit, talking about the Christmas celebrations and family outings. All the good food and generous gifts.

“Granny Stokes got Lissy a popcorn maker, honestly the best idea ever, but she made us watch Titanic last night, much to the dismay of my dad. Did you like the present Pauline got for you?”

“I knew you were behind that! She insisted that she came up with the idea, but you were the only one I told about that brand.”

You grinned to yourself, tracing the sequined cushion on you parent’s couch. “My bad. Judging by the amount of pictures you sent me on Instagram I thought that you couldn’t shut up about it in real life too. But it’s time for them to get recognized, their tees are the best.”

Something rustled on the line. “Are you outside?”

“No, just closing the window. It’s so cold in New York, you’d probably freeze to death,” Timmy said, his voice far from the speaker. You bit your lip. “Well, I’d have you to warm me up, wouldn’t I?”

There was more noise, then he was back on the phone. “Hey, quick question. Have you found an outfit for your mom’s theme party?”

“I could basically wear everything, but I think I’ll go for shorts and a checkered button-down. Apparently Glamping’s much more about the decoration anyways and my mom went super overboard, I’m not kidding. It’s even more serious than last year’s flamingo luau. She’s got tipis and shit.”

Timmy laughed slightly and you straightened up on the couch, delighting in the softness of him. “Can’t wait to see the pictures.”

“And what about you? Everything settled for New Year’s Eve?”

“Yeah, basically,” he said, then paused. “My mom’s making potato salad for dinner and I’m going out with Phil and the lot.”

You grimaced at his tone. He sounded less than excited, tired even. A glance at your watch and you knew it was two am in New York.

“I just really miss you, love. Wish I could spend some time with you, have you in my arms.”

“‘S not that long till the 3rd, baby.”

He whined, kind of, and even though it was endearing, you had to laugh a bit. “But I miss you too, if that helps.”

“Hmm. Makes it worse, actually.”

“Okay, one last try then,” you said quietly, murmuring almost, and hoped that Lissy was well out of earshot. “I have something just for you. It’s hidden in the back of my closet and I think it might get me in trouble. Like real trouble, if you know what I mean.”

“Babe,” he said, amused, “Did you go on another La Perla splurge?”

You frowned. “Wow, Timothée. You’re ruining all my fun.”

“Just trying to keep it all together here.”

A small smile formed on your lips, a tingle in your stomach. “What, miss me so much that we can’t even have phone sex?”

“It’s called anticipation, love. Some things are worth waiting for.”

You scoffed playfully, but your smile became wide, almost hurtful. “Well, my mom warned me. You’re way too fucking sweet.”

“Some might even say romantic.”

“Or cheesy.” Sarcasm dripped from your voice, but it was just teasing. You were always on board with romance, corny or not, and your hands were already becoming sweaty at the thought of reuniting with Tim.

“Whatever it is, I don’t remember you complaining,” he remarked, sounding half-asleep. You imagined him tucked in bed in his apartment, wearing thick pyjamas and wrapped in blanket upon blanket while you were in shorts and tank, tan lines on your torso from countless hours on the beach.

“Timmy?”

“Yeah?”

You laid on your back, closed your eyes.

“I love you.”

He paused and you listened to him breathe, yearning to be beside him, in his arms, feeling him on your skin, his breath, his warmth, his hands. Six days to go, one hundred and forty-four hours. Less than a full week and you’d finally be able to kiss him.

“I love you too.” His voice was barely above a whisper and your heart ached. “Can you stay on the phone until I fall asleep?”

It’s hard sometimes, waking up in different cities, being so far from the person you’re closest to. 

“Of course, baby.”

But some things are worth the wait.

[jobrookekarev]

Little Turkey (Updated)

Summary: Jo and Alex celebrate Thanksgiving with everybody in Meredith’s backyard and Jo tries to induce labor. 

Chapter: 1/1

Fandom: Grey's Anatomy.

Relationship: Alex Karev/Jo Wilson Karev.

Characters: Alex Karev, Jo Wilson Karev, Meredith Grey, Maggie Pierce, Jackson Avery, Amelia Shepherd, Atticus Lincoln, Zola Grey Shepherd, Ellis Shepherd, Derek Bailey Shepherd, and Carina DeLuca.

Rating: General Audiences.

Additional Tags: thanksgiving, pregnancy, birth, babies, and tiny adorable turkey onesies. 

AN: New edits because I forgot to add the reason why Jo didn't realize she was in labor and her water breaking because I was in a rush to get this posted!! You think that someone who studied to be a doula would get it right but nope. LOL. So hopefully this makes more sense and seems more realistic.

Read at AO3

Read at FFN

……………………………………………………………………

Jo pushed open the gate to Meredith’s backyard and was greeted with the sight of the socially distant Thanksgiving dinner in full swing. It might be the holidays, but there was a rise of COVID in the past few weeks and the governor had shut down the state. Despite how the group was constantly tested at work, none of them were willing to take any risks for an inside formal dinner. Which meant that tables were 6 feet apart, plates of food were already set out, and masks were required. Jo didn’t mind the outdoor activities, even with the November air as her pregnancy meant that she often ran hot. 

Amelia and Link were at one table with her godson, the three kids and Meredith were painting at one table. Maggie and Winston were off to the side, and Jackson, April, and Harriett were at the third table. The last table was for her and Alex, Meredith had already set out plates for them that were already filled with turkey, stuffing, casseroles, and Amelia’s pie.

“Hey, Aunt Jo,” Zola said, being the first one to greet her and waved at her with her paintbrush still in her hand. She wore a white and purple butterfly mask that matched her butterfly coat.

Everyone else followed Zola’s hello with waves as Jo walked up to the only empty table. Link bounded over like a puppy and hugged her as tightly as he could with her full belly between them. The two of them had been together for most of the pandemic with her and Alex helping them with Scout and Link and Amelia returning the favor to help with Jo’s pregnancy.

“Where’s Uncle Alex?” Zola asked holding up her turkey painting to show Jo. 

“That looks very cool Zola and he is on his way. He had a meeting so he's just running a little late,” Jo said as she put a hand on her belly and eased herself into the lawn chair and put her feet up on Alex's empty chair. “I see you all left me the good chair.” 

“Yeah well the rest of us didn’t want to hear you complain about it for the entire night,” Amelia said, sending Jo a wink.

“I did not complain last time!” Jo insisted, looking over at Link who just looked at her wide eyed.

Jo knew that Link’s mouth was open under his mask as he was trying to find something to say to her before retreating back over to Amelia. 

Ellis grabbed a plate of paint and dragged her cat chair to Jo. “Aunt Jo, can I paint your belly?” 

“What?”

“She wants to paint your baby belly,” Meredith clarified for her, handing Bailey a plate of food. “She saw a picture of someone doing it online and now all she talks about is painting your belly.”

Jo looked back down at Ellis who looked up at her with the biggest puppy eyes and Jo knew that she was pouting under her mask. Jo smiled and nodded, how could she refuse Ellis’ request. Jo put her feet down and grabbed a pillow, putting it behind her back before she pulled up her shirt and tucking it under her breasts. Ellis giggled and grabbed her brush to paint a streak across Jo's belly. Jo shivered at the cold paint, but the feeling of Ellis’s brush was oddly soft and Jo found herself relaxing back as Ellis painted. 

The party continued and the conversation flowed. It had been a while since everyone had gotten together outside the hospital, especially with the kids and it was nice to relax and enjoy the night. 

“Oh that’s so cute,” Jo said as Link handed her a small canvas of one of her godson’s baby bumpkins. “I can’t wait to do that with this baby.” 

Jo smiled as she stared over at Amelia and her godson. Back when she and Link were serving coffee, just trying to make it through college. They talked about how their kids would grow up together and be friends. They would be each other’s family. After Jo left, she didn’t think she’d ever see him again, but she was so glad he came to Grey-Sloan and gave her a second chance.

“Yeah, it does make a good keepsake for Christmas too,” Link said, smiling back over at Amelia and the baby as well.

“Nuh-uh,” Jo mumbled, shaking her head as she took a bit of the nacho that she had dumped hot sauce on. “I’m having this baby tonight.”

Immediately all eyes were on her. 

“You're in labor!” Meredith shouted standing up and pulling out her phone, no doubt to call Alex.

“You're in labor!” Maggie freaked out as she dropped Zola’s painting.

“The baby’s coming today!” Zola cheered her eyes sparkling as she raced over to them.

“The baby’s coming!” Ellis shrieked, putting both of her hands on Jo’s belly that was still wet with paint.

“Oh my god, Jo why didn’t you say anything?” Link said, dropping down to his knees and putting a hand on her shoulder.

“No, I’m not in Labor,” Jo shouted above the noise.

“Josephine Brooke Karev are you still trying to induce labor a week before your due date?”

“Uncle Alex!” All the kids screamed, so excited to see him, they all talked over each other as they showed him their paintings. 

“For heaven's sake Jo,” Link said, his eyes wide as he sat down on the grass leaning on the arm of her chair. “Between you and Amelia, the stress is gonna kill me.”

“Why would you want to have your baby today?” Meredith asked, moving her chair over to sit next across from Jo.

“Well, our anniversary is Halloween. I just thought I’d keep with the theme, that way we'd always remember and it’d be extra special,” Jo said, with a shrug as she felt the baby kick inside her as if they were agreeing. 

“Regardless of the date it will be special, trust me. You're never going to forget your baby's birthday because it's also your labor day,” Meredith said her eyes sparkling and Jo knew that she was smirking over at her.

“I know, but I just thought I'd be fun,” Jo said, putting a hand on her baby belly where Ellis hadn’t painted, feeling them kick again as she turned to see Alex talking to the kids. 

He was nodding along to everything they were telling him and acting like Bailey's messy painted turkey was the greatest piece of artwork he's ever seen. She loved seeing Alex with all the kids so much that she didn’t mind being second best to her husband. He was so good to them, always listening to them talk and going along with whatever they wanted. She couldn't wait to see him with their kid and she knew that they already had them wrapped around their finger. 

“I painted Aunt Jo’s belly!” Ellis said putting her paint covered hands on Alex’s shirt. 

“And now we match,” Alex said looking down at his nice button up shirt to see two small handprints.

Jo laughed as Alex looked down at the sight of his ruined shirt. Meredith got up and took Ellis inside to wash her hands and Alex sat down next to her. He pulled down his mask to greet her with a kiss and settled in. Jo grabbed another bite of her pineapple spicy nachos and Alex took a piece from her plate.

“Hey,” Jo said, pulling the plate away from him.

“Sorry,” Alex laughed before feeding her the chip. 

Jo thought that he would have long since learned not to get between a pregnant woman and her food, but apparently not. 

Alex’s eyes turned serious as he looked over at her. “How are you feeling?” 

“My heartburn is better than it was this morning, my braxton hicks haven't been as intense as they were yesterday, and I did a hepatectomy on a guy who almost burnt down his house trying to cook a turkey with Jackson,” Jo said in between bites of her nachos.

“Yeah I’m surprised I got here before you,” Jackson said as he held Harriett and offered her a bite of green beans. “You finished the resection before I was done debriding his wounds.”

“I scrubbed in on a surgical extraction with Dr. Bailey right after,” Jo said with a laugh, remembering the case. “Some guy shoved a corn husk up you know where.”

“A corn husk?” Meredith asked in disbelief. “I can’t believe I missed that!”

“You can scrub in with me next year after COVID is cured and you can come back to work.”

“I’ll hold you to it, Karev.”

“It sounds like you had a good day,” Alex said, leaving in to wrap his arm around her shoulders.

“I did.” 

Jo could see Alex smile under his mask as his eyes wrinkled and sparkled. Jo leaned in and pressed a masked kiss to his cheek. Alex chuckled, squeezed her shoulder as she leaned in and put her head on his shoulder. 

They watched the kids paint and ate too much of April's pumpkin pie and stayed long after the kids fell asleep as the alcohol came out for the adults. It was the first time they had all congregated outside of the hospital and no one was eager to leave. Her sober buddy, Amelia, came to sit next closer to her, and Jo cooed at her godson, gushing over his cute little baby cheeks even after he fell asleep. 

The cold night air set in and soon they were all bundling up in blankets, but no one wanted to head home first. Jo put the baby down inside and curled up against Alex as her braxton hicks started up again. She didn't mean to fall asleep but the next thing she knew Alex was shifting against her and pulling her onto her feet and putting one arm around her as he half carried her to the car, Jo mumbled goodbye to everyone. 

Jo fell asleep in the car and she didn't remember getting into bed, but the next thing she knew it’s 4 a.m. and she's waking up with a braxton hick. She rolled over in bed realizing that Alex changed her into pajamas. Jo’s not sure if it's because she was exhausted or what but, as soon as it passed she rolled over and fell asleep again. 

Somewhere around sunrise, just as the sun was shining into the windows, Jo got up with another braxton hick. She knew that moving helped and she had to pee anyway, but Jo only made it to the table behind the couch before she felt a trickle of water run down her leg. At first, she thought she had an accident, but the trickle of water just kept coming as Jo tried to clean herself up. Then she realized it was amniotic fluid. Her water broke. 

Jo turned around to wake up Alex, but before she could she doubled over in pain as her next contraction started. She knew that her contractions would increase in pain after her water broke that this was on a whole different level. 

Jo leaned against the table she tried to call out to Alex but she can’t speak. She was frozen in place until it passed. She knew that these weren't braxton hick, these were contractions, she was in labor. When she felt like she could move again Jo looked back at Alex, but she couldn't manage to call out to him. Instead, Jo got out her phone and pulled up her contacts, she blindly pressed Alex’s name and waited to hear his phone ring. Instead, she heard someone else answer her call.

“Hey Jo, what’s up” 

Meredith’s voice was music to her ears. Jo opened her eyes and shook her head as she looked down at the phone. Jo was so relieved to see her friend. Although she had originally planned to just call Alex, it seemed she had set up a video call with Meredith. Because of the restriction, Jo couldn't have anyone other than Alex with her when she gave birth. Despite her initial plan to have Meredith with her, they had agreed to have Meredith be there over video call to support her through it. In the midst of a contraction she could barely speak, but Meredith seemed to know exactly what was going on.

“Are you in labor?” 

Jo nodded, closing her eyes and swaying her hips, she wasn't sure why but somehow it seemed to help.

“How long have you been having contractions?” 

“I don't know,” Jo said, blowing out a breath as the contraction passed. “A few hours maybe.”

“What do you mean maybe?” Meredith asked, glaring at her. “When did the pain start?” 

“Before I went to bed last night I think.” 

“So you've been in labor for six hours, Jo how did you ignore this?” Meredith said as she rubbed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose

“I have a high pain tolerance, and I'm used to sleeping through the pain and I was really tired,” Jo said, the memories of when she used to fall asleep after Paul beat her were not once she liked to remember, but as a result, Jo often ignored her pain out of habit.

“Well, where's Alex? He should have been keeping an eye on you.”

“Alex he's …” Jo shook her head, and trailed off as she had another contraction.

“Do you need me to get Alex?”

Jo nodded, the contraction had passed but she was so exhausted and let Meredith help her.

“Okay, hang on Jo I'm going to call him from a second phone,” Meredith reassured her as Jo heard her stuff laying around on the other end of the phone. “Amelia gimme your phone Jo’s in labor.”

Jo chuckled as Meredith continued to harass Amelia for her phone. Ever since Meredith had recovered from COVID she had been working from home and harassing them all via phone call. Especially her as Jo continue their work on the mini-livers from their lab at the hospital. 

“Okay, I'm calling him now.” 

Jo looked back at Alex who was still sleeping peacefully in their bed. The blanket was pulled back on her side and his arm was laying over her pillow leaving the impression of an empty space where she had been. Alex had that evening morning scruff that she loved and his lips were parted as he snored. He was completely oblivious to how his world was going to change in a few hours. 

Alex’s phone rang, the sound bouncing around the apartment. He rolled over and reached for his nightstand, cursing as he looked for his phone. Another contraction distracted her from calling out to him, but she heard him silence his phone and roll over again.

“Jo, Meredith is calling you.”

“No, I'm calling you,” Meredith yelled at him through Jo's phone. “Your wife is in labor Karev, get the hell up.”

Jo looked over to see Alex sit up and stared at her. He blinked once and then twice before he scrambled to get up, getting tangled in the blankets and tripping several times before he made it over to her.

“You're in labor?”

“Yes,” Jo and Meredith yelled at the same time.

“We’re having a baby!” 

“Yes, we're having a baby!”

“Okay well let’s go,” Alex said and Jo could see it on his face as he went from paranoid dad to helpful husband. “Let’s have a baby.”

“Let’s have a baby.” Jo smiled as Alex kissed her before another contraction hit and she closed her eyes in pain. They were for sure having a baby today. Happy Thanksgiving to her.

“How far apart are the contractions?”

“Every four minutes,” Meredith answered for her.

“Has your water broken?” 

“Not that I can tell.” 

“Jo?” Alex asked looked down to check, but Jo shook her head.

“Okay, let's check how dilated you are, but regardless we're going to head to the hospital. I'll call Carina and tell her to have a room waiting for us.” Alex said as he put his arms around her waist and Jo heavily leaned in on him.

Alex helped her over to the bed and Jo laid down, sinking into the mattress. Another contraction hit and Jo closed her eyes taking a deep breath and slowly letting it out. 

“That’s it Jo, deep breaths, you're doing so good,” Alex praised her as he held her hand, and mirrored her breaths.

Jo felt the tears collect in her eyes and Alex spoke, she was so thankful that he was there cheering her on. He had been so supportive through her pregnancy. He braided her hair and rubbed her back when she puked. He tied her shoes and helped her reach for things. He rubbed her back and her feet when they ached, and he talked to their baby when they kicked her ribs. When the contraction passed and Jo opened her eyes to see Alex smiling down at her. She sighed and relaxed as he leaned forward and kissed her.

“He is right, you're doing everything like you're supposed to, you're doing great Jo,” Meredith said, from where Jo had left her phone propped up on the table.

Jo returned their smiles and squeezed Alex’s hand. “I’m having a baby.”

“You are, and you're handling it like a champ,” Alex said, moving back and putting a hand on her knees, Jo saw his face shift from proud and supportive husband to concerned doctor. “Your contractions are pretty close together. Can I check and see how dilated you are now.”

Jo nodded and lifted up her hips as he pulled off her pajama pants. Jo put her feet up by her hips and let her knees fall apart. Alex waited for her to nod before he checked her cervix, despite how many times they had sex, he always waited for her consent. Alex quickly checked her and then smiled looking down at her.

“Jo, have you felt the need to push?”

“No, why?” she asked, confused as she pushed herself up on her elbows. He had pulled back his hand, but didn't give her back her pants.

“You’re about 9 cm dilated, but we should get to the hospital before you have this baby in the car,” Alex said as he patted her knee and got up. “I’m gonna grab your bag and stuff and put it in the car then come back for you.”

“Oh my god!” Jo shouted as she sat up and watched Alex run around their apartment.

“Hey it’s okay Jo, just take a deep breath,” Meredith said, Leaning into the phone so Jo could see her whole face.

Jo nodded and took a deep breath, knowing that panicking wouldn't get her anywhere, and put a hand on her belly. She couldn't feel her baby kick, only the contractions that seemed endlessly painful. After a few deep breaths, she held herself calm back down and had to open her eyes and look back at Meredith who greeted her with a nod.

“Wait Alex, give me Meredith,” Jo shouted as she heard him open the door.

Alex stopped everything and grabbed the phone before handing it to her and running off again. Jo just smiled as she watched him go, running around like a mad dad, panicked as she labor. After everything they had been through, he was still so excited and nervous for their baby.

Another contraction hit and Jo closed her eyes, tuning out everything as Meredith talked her through it and Alex ran around with the bags. Finally, he came back and helped her down the stairs, and into the car. 

Jo barely remembered the car ride to the hospital. In between her contraction, Meredith and Alex talked to her and tried to distract her. She was so exhausted and could barely think as Alex and Meredith prompted her to move and breathe when they got to the hospital. It sort of worked, but it was all just a blur as they got her up to a room.

“Hello Jo,” Carina said that she came into the room rubbing fresh hand sanitizer over her hands before she reached for a pair of gloves. “I wasn't expecting to see you so soon.”

“I need to push,” Jo shouted, already bearing down, this baby was coming now, regardless of whether anyone was ready for them or not.

“Now!” Alex shouted in disbelief. “Shit we should have been here hours ago.”

“She said now!” Meredith insisted, yelling through the phone.

“You don’t have to do that you know,” Alex said, as he crawled in behind her, rather than push on her back they had her upright and Jo sat on the end of the bed while Alex held her up and squeezed both of her hands. 

“Jo wants me to advocate for her, this is me advocating.”

“Okay Jo push on the next contraction,” Carina said, shutting them both up as she got ready to catch the baby in between Jo’s legs.

Jo closed her eyes and tried to breathe as another contraction hit and she pushed with every bit of energy she had left. It felt like an endless circle of pain and pushing, then a break, and then more pain and pushing. She was so exhausted and she couldn't imagine doing this for an endless amount of hours. 

“You're doing great Jo, just a little bit longer and they're gonna be here,” Alex whispered in her ear.

“He’s right Jo. Everything is perfect and your little bambino is going to be here very soon,” Carina said giving her a short nod. 

Jo pushed for what seemed like hours and then Carina was announcing she could see the head. Jo knew that she had to keep going and pushed again and suddenly her baby was out and Carina held them up for them to see. 

The second their baby cried, Jo's heart stopped as Carina held up this tiny little red baby screened in their ears. Jo pulled down her gown so they could do some skin to skin and Carina quickly placed them on Jo’s chest. Jo's arm instantly moved to cradle them and she leaned back against Alex as the tears filled her eyes. She and her baby's cries filled the room. 

“She's so beautiful,” Alex sobbed on her shoulder as he wrapped his arms around them both. 

“It's a girl,” Jo said in astonishment, she looked down to where the baby laid in her arms and their daughter looked up at them with big eyes as her cries quieted. 

“Alex do you want to cut the cord?”

Alex nodded and moved to cut the cord, taking the surgical scissors from the nurse. Meredith took a few pictures and Jo was glad she had asked her to beforehand because all she could focus on was the beautiful little girl in her arms.

Jo looked down at her beautiful, perfect daughter and moved to stroke her cheek. She hardly noticed the nurses cleaning her and taking their daughter’s Apgar scores. All she could think about was a perfect little baby in her arms. For her, falling in love was a gradual process, but Jo loved their baby from the moment she found out she was pregnant and she was so overwhelmed with love for her baby as she stared down at them.

Jo looked over at Alex as he moved out from behind her to stand next to her. As all the nurses attended to her and the baby. He looked so nervous as he stared down at her shifting his weight on his feet and stuffing his hands into his pockets. It was so unusual to see him so concerned and nervous. 

Jo looked down at their daughter, she’d had her for nine months and although it felt like she had only been holding her for a few minutes, Jo was sure that she was ready to watch Alex hold their baby for the first time. 

“Do you want to hold her?” Jo whispered, already moving the blanket that had been placed over both of them to loosely swaddle her and transferred their daughter into her chest.

Alex just nodded and took off his shirt so they could do skin to skin, then held out his arms for their daughter. Once she placed her in his arms, Alex slowly sank down in the chair next to her bed. He held her close to his chest before he seemed to remember how to hold a baby and cradled her in his arms as he relaxed back into the chair. She watched as Alex just gazed down at her with an expression of pure love. 

Jo could tell by the way that his eyes sparkled that he was smiling down at their daughter under his mask. Tears collected his eyes and a few escaped the corner of his eyes as he whispered to her. The baby opened her eyes and squirmed, crying out for a moment before Alex soothes her as he began to rock in the chair. The baby flailed her arms out and Alex reached out to hold one of her hands as her tiny hand wrapped around his big finger.

Jo finished pushing out the placenta and laid back onto the bed before Alex put their daughter back on her chest and put the blanket over both of them. Jo just stared down at her in amazement. She was so perfect, from her tiny little forehead to the thick tufts of dark hair. She stretched out her legs, kicking Jo before she curled back up into a tiny little ball and closed her eyes.

“She’s perfect,” Jo said to Alex, not taking her eyes off her daughter. “Even if her big head caused me a second degree tear.”

“Sorry about,” Alex said, sliding in to sit next to her.

“Well you and her big Karev heads are perfect and I can’t feel anything down there anyway,” Jo’s legs felt like mush and she couldn't tell how many stitches Carina was doing.

Alex wrapped an arm around her shoulders leaning in to kiss her cheek. Jo turned and tilted her head to give him a proper kiss. 

“You did so good Jo, I'm so proud of you and she is absolutely beautiful,” Meredith said with a smile as they all look down at the baby. “I’m gonna let you two enjoy your baby and I’ll send you the pictures I took in a few minutes.” 

“Thank you,” Jo said as she looked over at Meredith who smiled.

“It was my pleasure,” Meredith said, tilting her head as she looked down at the baby. “Besides if it wasn’t for me you would still be laboring in the loft and Alex would be fast asleep.”

“Har har,” Alex said as Jo laughed. 

“But you Jo Karev,” Meredith said turning a pointed finger at her. “You have to keep remembering to watch your braxton hicks and not sleep through your labor until your nine centimeters dilated!”

“Meredith is right Jo, your labor progressed very quickly without you realizing it,” Carina said, as she set Jo with a look. “Next time, I want to see you in here as soon as your braxton hicks are consistent for more than an hour. I'd rather send you away with false labor then put you or your baby at risk.

“Yeah, we can’t have the next one on the couch in our living room,” Alex added, kissing her forehead.

“I know I said I wanted two kids, but let's not talk about a second one until my vagina starts hurting from having the first one,” Jo said as she glared at him as Alex turned to look down at their baby girl.

“She needs a name,” Alex said, changing the subject as he trailed a finger across her little hand as she wiggled her fingers.

“Meredith does make a really good name,” Meredith sang, raising her eyebrows and giving them a look.

“We'll take it into consideration,” Jo said looking back at Alex. They had a list of names they were still arguing over, some of the names were new, but others were after friends and family.

Meredith ended the call and most of the nurses left, it was just them and Carina, who was finishing the last of Jo’s stitches. The baby fussed, turning her head and opening her mouth, signaling that she was hungry. Jo moved her down and Carina helped her and the baby get a good latch on her breast. Soon their baby was making happy little eating noises as her parents smiled down at her.

“She does need a name,” Alex whispered to her, setting his head on her shoulder and he looked down at their daughter as she nursed. 

“You know which one I like.”

“I know,” Alex sighed, looking away from her.

“You should call her,” Jo said, turning to look at him as he gazed off into space. “Call her and then decide, and if you still don't want the name. we can choose a different one.”

“Okay.” Alex nodded and kissed her shoulder as they turned their attention back to their baby girl.

After their daughter finished eating and Carina finished her stitches, Alex ran to grab her some food from the cafeteria. Jo chatted with Meredith again for a few minutes about the pictures before Alex came back and they ate. He put on a movie some kind of Christmas movie that Jo wasn't really interested in so she closed her eyes. She must have fallen asleep and slept for a few hours only to be woken up by Carina and the nurses checking on her. 

It’s still later in the early afternoon but the closed blinds and curtains made it seem like night and it was easy for her to close her eyes. She stared at the baby in Alex's arms before she fell asleep again and when Jo woke up and the baby was in the bassinet next to her bed. She reached out an arm to lay a hand on her chest feeling the baby breathing under her hand and fell back asleep. 

When Jo woke up again she heard Alex talking faintly on the phone again. The baby was not under her hand and for a moment Jo panicked, she looked around the room and she saw Alex holding the baby in a football hold, as he rocked back and forth with his back to her. Jo relaxed and closed her eyes as she listened to the baby gurgle and coo as Alex talked on the phone. 

“Yeah, thanks Mom, we can’t wait for you to see her,” Alex said as he walked back over and sat down next to her. Jo blinked and caught his eyes and he smiled at her. “Hang on Jo’s awake, let me give her the baby.”

Alex set the phone down and unswaddle the baby before setting her on Jo’s chest. The baby settled on Jo as she put a hand on her back tracing her spine and noting her clean skin. While she was asleep, Alex and the nurses must have bathed her and they put her in a plain hospital hat and onesie and Jo safely tucked those away for safekeeping. Jo reached over to the bag on the chair next to her and pulled out the little turkey onesie along with a dark orange hat to match. 

Jo sat the bed up and put the baby on her lap as she changed her clothes, the baby slept through the whole thing and Jo pulled her close to whisper to her daughter. She tried out the names they had on their list, including Meredith, and just as she expected, the name Jo wanted for her fit. 

Jo looked up at Alex as he finished the call with his mom and smiled at him as he put down his phone and came to sit down next to her. “She needs a name. We can't just call her baby forever.”

“I know,” Alex said, looking down at the baby as Jo shook her head. 

“Let's try them all out and see which one fits,” Jo said, she knew that Alex was still hesitant, but that he would know that the moment he heard it and connected the name to the sight of their daughter. 

“Okay, hello Stephanie,” Alex said looking down at their daughter before he shook his head. Jo chuckled, she knew Stephanie would be disappointed, like Meredith they had considered the name as they wanted her to be named after someone they loved, but it just didn't fit. “Okay, you do the next one.”

“Alright, hello Meredith or Edith for short,” Jo said to her, it was the name Alex wanted and Jo liked it too. Meredith meant so much to them and they had agreed to have it as her middle name regardless, but it wasn’t her first name.

“You're right, it doesn't fit,” Alex said as he sighed and leaned back into the chair.

“No,” Jo said looking down at the baby in her arms. She took Alex's hand and pulled it over to hold their daughter's hands that had wiggled out from the swaddle. “Her name is Helena, after your mom and Mrs. Schmidt.”

Alex smiled as he looked down at their daughter and rubbed the back of her hand. “Yeah, she's Helena.”

“Helena,” Jo said as their daughters fluttered open and she stared up at them.

Alex's phone lit up with a video call from Meredith. He looked over at Jo, they had agreed to the video call beforehand, and although Jo hadn't had any time to shower or even wash her face she knew none of them would care and nodded as he answered the call. They were greeted with the sight of their family. Meredith, Amelia, Lincoln, Maggie, Winston, Jackson, April, Ben, Bailey, Richard, all the kids, and even Levi and Helm joined the call. Everybody cooed and gushed over the baby and the kids talked about how excited they were.

“Have you two decided on a name yet?” Meredith asked as everybody went silent waiting for them to respond.

“Guys say hello to Helena Meredith Karev.”

[mcrmadness]

14, 15, 33 (like generally in people, not dating-wise), 40, 47 :D

Ask game: Unusual asks.

Thanks! 8D

14: What is your least favorite word?

In which language? :D Also this is probably the hardest question in this ask game because I literally don't know XD But I try to think about something.

OH NOW I KNOW! I hope people don't get mad at me but RIGHT NOW my least favorite word is "gender envy". I just have this thing when I'm exposed to something against my will - could be a word, a celebrity's face (or name) or even just a tv series - and too often in very short time, and suddenly I just get an overload of that and I feel so fed up with it and can no longer tolerate it AT ALL and everything about said thing just gets on my nerves and makes me so angry that if it's e.g. a tv series someone's watching, I simply have to leave the room because I can't stand anything about it at all anymore, not even the musics nor actors' voices.

So lately this happened to me with this word. It just came out of nowhere and I see so many using it now and I can't escape because it's not only on Tumblr, it's also on Discord and on every freaking website I go to, and I feel like I'm going crazy but I just can't NOT SEE that word because there's no way to avoid it. Even if I filtered the tag on Tumblr, I'd still have to see the word because Tumblr would tell me "this post was filtered for the tag #gender envy". And it kinda sucks.

(I'm agender/nonbinary so I don't feel gender envy because there's no one born without a physical gender and I usually don't look at snails or so and be like "I wish I had its gender" - besides they are hermaphrodite and not genderless so...)

***

15: What is your favorite word?

This is also something I haven't really thought about. Okay my brain just said I should say: Gotham. Because it's one of my favorite tv series, after Gotham City which is Batman's home city, and if you put that word in half you get: Got-Ham.

That's why my siblings (they're 26 btw) started talking about the show with the Finnish word for ham: kinkku. So my sister would ask my brother "Should we watch 'Kinkku'?" when she wanted to continue watching Gotham :DDDDDDDD

***

This got bit long so the next ones under the cut...

33: What turns you off?

The lack of sense of humour. I seriously don't think I'd ever be able to get along with someone who either has no sense of humour at all or has it completely different from mine.

Also people who don't respect others, people who refuse to listen to others. Nothing makes me angrier and more frustrated than when I'm trying to say something and people say "I don't care." and won't let me even finish because they don't want to hear what I have to say only because they THINK they're gonna disagree. And even if they do disagree, it'd still be nice of them to let people finish before proclaiming that they disagree. Not doing that makes a person just an asshole.

And another thing is the music taste, having it different won't make a friendship impossible, but it always drops my mood a bit to learn I again listen to different bands and genres altogether than someone new I learnt to know, because it seems to be something that just always keeps happening...

***

40: First concert you attended

It was in 2007 and My Chemical Romance's concert in Finland. It was also their first gig in Finland ever. The concert took place in Helsinki, I was 16 and met a few internet friends I had but mainly spent time with my parents who I went to the concert with. The gig itself was insane, I had never been to an actual concert before because I was so afraid of big crowds because of my social anxiety and I always thought I don't care about going to concerts. But something in me needed to experience an MCR concert and I'm glad that I did that, because I really like going to concerts now. Every time I feel like dying tho, but somehow I still end up buying concert tickets anyway XD

The concert itsel was insane and I didn't even feel the anxiety there at all! After the concert we were hanging out near the venue and my parents already wanted to leave but I just had this feeling that we should not leave yet, and then they said we have to go now so I started walking after them and crying, and that's when I heard girls screaming behind the venue and as we went there, Frank was actually there writing signatures, and we quickly ran there and I don't remember anything else but this small group and we just handed him the ticket, he wrote his name and we left :D

Here's a photo, I still find it hard to believe that I got Frank's signature but this ticket is a proof of that so I guess I just have to trust it XD

After all that we then visited this "Rock McDonald's" in Helsinki, it's just some regular McDonald's with rock themed furniture and music and that night they were playing only MCR, and from there we went back to the hotel.

***

47: What’s your favorite holiday?

I think I answered this question in another ask a couple of weeks ago but I don't remember what I said :D Probably talked about Christmas but now I started wondering it this means like... those HOLIDAYS like Christmas, or just any kind of free days from school and work. Because I've been having one long weekend for the past 2 years, and before that holidays didn't really exist for me because horses need to be fed and taken care of no matter what the calendar says :D

Anyway I think I'm gonna say: Midsummer. In Finland it's a big thing. Well, for most it just means drinking and partying outside, but not for me because I hate people and don't drink alcohol lmao. No but, I actually was born on Midsummer Eve, the Eve is never the exact same date every year (it's always a Friday, tho) so when I have my birthday, it's not necessarily that year's Midsummer Eve. Apparently also not this year, so usually I'm having my birthday during Midsummer but I haven't celebrated it since I turned 18, so it's not really a big deal for me. I'd rather forget about it because I have had an age crisis since I was 23... anyhow, this year I'm gonna turn 30 so I know it's gonna be a bit bigger thing for my family and relatives but I'd rather not be reminded of that because for the past 10 years I have just been worrying about how 30 is closer every year because when I hit that age, then 40 will be closer than ever, too ::D

A "fun" fact about Midsummer and what it means in Finland: Every year everyone wishes for bad and good weather simultaneously because people want to spend the day in good weather but good weather means people like to go swimming. And alcohol + swimming is NEVER a good combination and the warmer the day, the more people will drown. Every Midsummer Day or the first work day after Midsummer weekend, you will find reports from all newspapers about how many people drowned this time. The nicer the weather, the bigger the number(s)... It's terrible, and people are adviced to look after their friends and family and never leave anyone alone near the water when alcohol is involved. Even I have sometimes kept an eye on someone because they were drunk and went close to the lake (not necessarily during Midsummer, but whenever I've been spending time with my mom and her siblings and friends at a summer cottage).

I don't want to end this so dramatically so I also want to say that I like Midsummer because in Finland, the sun never really sets during summer. And during Midsummer the nights are usually the brightest and soon after that it starts getting darker and darker again. It always makes me sad because the summer is so short here, but I really love these summer nights when there's like 3 hours between the sunset and sunrise but the sky doesn't even have time to turn dark during that time. Finnish summer is something special and magical.

It's probably impossible to imagine and incredibly difficult to show in photos too, but here's my attempt:

This one was taken in (the beginning of) June 2017, at 2:00 in the morning during this photo. I think it's very close to the actual lighting of that night. It's so easy to get too dark or bright photos with a proper camera and I can never remember afterwards which of the brightnesses was the correct one. (Btw we [aka me because I'm the only one of my family with a driver's license] were driving back home from Helsinki, we were to Helsinki because of a Rammstein concert :D)

I also have some photos taken at 9pm what looks more like it was in the middle of the day, and also a photo I took at 3am and it looks like it's a daytime too. It's slightly darker between 11pm and 2am and then it gets bright again. But I'm too lazy to add them to this because they just look like daytime photos and you only have my word about the actual time, so it still doesn't feel the same as actually being outside at 3am while it's bright as day :D

[songsofacagedbird]

Is that BALIAN “BALO” DRISKELL? Wow, they do look a lot like EMILIIE DE RAVIN I hear SHE is an EIGHTEEN year old high school SENIOR. Word is they are a REGULAR student at Luxor Academy. You should watch out because they can be NAIVE and SENSITIVE, but on the bright side they can also be BUBBLY and OPTIMISTIC. Ultimately, you’ll get to see it all for yourself.

the basics //

Full Name: Balian “Balo” Grace Driskell

Preferred Name: Balo Driskell

Age: 18

Birthday: February 23rd

Zodiac: Pisces

Gender & Pronouns: Woman (She/Hers)

Sexuality: Balo doesn’t label her sexuality, she’s part of the LGBT+ community (and has canonly dated both girls and boys) but she doesn’t feel comfortable labeling it personally.

Occupation: N/A, she occasionally does commissions though (both art and in like making clothes)

Relationship Status: In a relationship with Cade Carroll (npc) since early May 

Place of Birth: Rochester, New York

Hometown: Saratoga Springs, New York

Country of Citizenship: United States

Languages Spoken: English (first) and French

deeper dive //

Hobbies and Talents:

 ○ Sketching (in particular people and animals, an inspiration board for her sketch book can be found here.)

 ○ Painting

 ○ Gymnastics (her leg is her left leg! By “her leg” I mean the leg she leads off with / does her split with for her floor routine / has better balance)

 ○ Fashion Design and Sewing

 ○ Cheerleading

 ○ Gymnastics

 ○ Yoga

 ○ Roller Skating

 ○ Scrapbooking

 ○ Dancing (a hobby, not a talent)

 ○ She can touch her nose with her tongue

Favorites:

 ○ Color: The entire rainbow, Balo has issues with picking one favorite color so she doesn’t choose.

 ○ Food: Balo’s not the biggest on food but she has a weakness for popcorn. Extra butter, light on the salt.

 ○ Animal: Cats

 ○ Drink: Hot Chocolate

 ○ Flower: Sunflowers

 ○ Book: a fairy tale collection she got from Zander when she was a child

 ○ Holiday: Christmas, to the point she’ll start decorating as early as she can. (June? Why not!)

 ○ Movie: The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

 ○ Scent: Strawberries, real a bit more than the artificial but she adores both.

 ○ Place: Her “little art studio” (technically just a corner of her room with her art supplies).

 ○ Quote:

“Butterflies can’t see their wings. They can’t see how truly beautiful they are, but everyone else can. People are like that as well.” - Unknown

Bêtes Noires:

 ○ Color: Dark brown, although she won’t admit to it

 ○ Food: Chicken à la King

 ○ Animal: Spiders, Balo does not like spiders and would like to stay far away from them

 ○ Drink: Matcha

 ○ Flower: Nepenthes peltata

 ○ Book: The Divergent Books

 ○ Holiday: 4th of July

 ○ Movie: Rugrats in Paris, she thinks it’s practically a horror movie

 ○ Scent: Garlic

 ○ Place: The Driskell family home in Saratoga Springs

health //  

Conditions:

          ○ Anorexia Nervosa

          ○ HIV

Allergies: N/A

Sleeping Habits: Balo gets to bed usually at a good time and sleeps 8 hours at a shot.

Exercise Habits: She exercises multiple times of day, between gymnastics and cheerleading, it’s important she’s in prime shape. Dance and Yoga are her go-tos outside of practice.

Addictions: N/A

Drug Use: Very rarely. After a bad LSD trip (when she wasn’t aware she was being drugged until after the fact), she’s very wary of drugs on average.

Alcohol Use: Occasionally. Balo doesn’t have a high alcohol tolerance, she gets tipsy after one drink and if she keeps drinking, after a couple the odds of her stripping are extremely high. (It’s not a sexual thing, she overheats and doesn’t really think about the consequences).

personality //  

MBTI: ESFP

Enneagram: 2w3 (The Helper with The Achiever Wing)

Alignment: Neutral Good

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff

Percy Jackson Parent: Iris

Pokémon Type: Dragon

Pokémon Subtype: Ghost

Winx: Nature

appearance //  

Height:  5′11” – not at fc height (I enjoy her being a few cm taller than Zander too much to put her at fc now #oops)

Tattoos: One

Scars: None

Piercings: Ears

Hair: Blonde

Eyes: Blue

Fashion:

 ○ link to balo’s closet

 ○ link to balo’s shoes

life at luxor //  

Classes:

 ○ Communications

 ○ French

 ○ General P.E.

 ○ Visual Arts

 ○ Fashion Design

 ○ Human Biology

 ○ Beginner Ballet

Clubs and Activities:

 ○ Art Club

 ○ Cheerleading (Flyer)

 ○  Gymnastics

fun facts //  

 ○ Balo has been attending Luxor since her Freshman year.

 ○ Balo’s kind of a literal ray of sunshine who believes (almost) everyone is truly good at heart.

 ○ Very easy to manipulate, please manipulate her. I’ll literally give you my firstborn.

 ○ Usually you’ll see her running around with a smile trying to brighten everyone’s day. She tries to put everyone’s happiness before herself, however, she’s slowly getting better about forming boundaries.

 ○ While it’d be easy to assume Balo’s dumb, that’s not quite the case. She only remembers the information she wants to. The issue is... most of the information she wants to learn is relatively useless. Want to know how to sew sutures? She’s your girl. Want to know the definition of cannibalism? Well, ask Jack how that goes.

 ○ She has two teddy bears and an American Girl doll living on her dresser. Duffy, Shelley-Mae, and Robin Banks. They’re decorative, but they make her happy.

 ○ One of her best friends is Logan Keller, the boy who went missing during the summer camping trip. The two are still in touch, and extremely close, so occasionally he gets mentioned here and there, but it’s still a sore spot for her (I am still in touch with the person who played him, so I run stuff by his mun when / if he comes up).

 ○ Jack’s adoptive parents recently adopted her, although she hasn’t said a lot about it. Your muse probably won’t know unless one of the two directly told them (or they heard it from Zander). It’s not a secret, she just didn’t make an announcement or anything.

 ○ In October 2019, Zander had an intervention for her to force her to get help for her eating disorder. She was in inpatient until April 2020, when she returned to Luxor.

 ○ Cheer and Gymnastics team member from Freshmen year until her intervention, and she returned to both teams this fall with the new school year.

 ○ Balo’s left handed (the only one of my muses that is a lefty)!

 ○   I’m aware Balo’s family page can be complicated, please feel free to dm me with questions. Also, please remember Balo doesn’t know she’s Daniel’s daughter, let alone the fact there’s even a chance Lance isn’t her father, which means your muse has absolutely no way of knowing this.

 ○ Befriended a stray racoon on the Lake George campus she named Reese Withercoon.

 ○ Literally only just said her first swear word this June, we’re very proud of her for finally getting that done. (#ThanksAxelAndLeo)

 ○ Balo finds the Winnie the Pooh theme song extremely soothing, which resulted in her naming a certain group chat with a set of friends the 100 Acre Woods - because she finds spending time with them soothing too.

 ○ I’m always willing to discuss my muses, so feel free to hit me up if you have any questions at any point.

a tl;dr history  //  

 ○ Balo’s home life growing up was far from perfect. Her father, Lance - is an abusive alcoholic, and while her mother tried her best to protect her children - she also covered things up without hesitation because she loves her husband. It wasn’t uncommon to see a Driskell in the ER with a lie and people willing to back up the story.

 ○ Balo was conceived during the time Lance and Cassandra were seperated the only time that her mother tried to leave. She’s completely unaware that she’s not Lance’s biological daughter (as is everyone else).

 ○ She’s been attending Luxor since freshman year, although she had to leave in the middle of her Junior year had to leave for a few months to attend extensive inpatient treatment. She came back in April, although she could not rejoin the cheerleading and gymnastic teams until her therapist confirmed she was doing well (so the start of her senior year) because of concerns about her well-being.

 ○ She was disowned following her HIV diagnosis over the fall. Over the winter, the Fieldings adopted Balo.

 ○ I strongly recommend skimming Balo’s timeline page before interacting with her. These are just the bare minimum basics, and there're more things your muse may know on there.

wanted connections //  

 ○ Friendships

 ○ Someone to manipulate her, please I beg you

 ○ Anyone who knows her from the gymnastics and/or cheer teams, or the art club

[purplesurveys]

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[created by: allwrongx - Bzoink]

Who is the most badass woman that you can think of? This reminds me of Nieves Fernandez, a Filipino WWII guerilla leader. Here she is demonstrating to an American soldier how she silently decapitates the Japanese with her bolo knife:

Do you have a Pinterest account? No. I tried getting into it and even downloading the app and making the account, but the interface is so confusing.

If you were to write a book, what would it be about? A book of essays of things I’m interested about. Or maybe just a straightforward memoir.

Have you ever seen the television show The Munsters? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of this show before.

Would you like to try on one of those indian headdresses? No. It wouldn’t feel right and it wouldn’t be right. And it’s *Indian.

Is your hair long enough to be braided right now? Yeah, very much so.

Have you ever written one of those 'Roses are red...' valentines? I never tried, actually. I find it too cheesy.

Would you rather witness the Mayans or the Aztecs' lifestyle? I’m admittedly not as interested in these parts of history lol, but I guess the Mayans since they’re from much further back in time. I have a lot to read up on when it comes to either, though.

Would you/have you spent more than $200 on any one person for a holiday? Probably only for a significant other. I wouldn’t be that generous with other people.

Do you have a favorite Robin Williams movie? Good Will Hunting, EASILY. Phenomenal performance.

Were you ever afraid of the Boogeyman? No because there was an actual wrestler whose gimmick was to act as the Boogeyman, and he was able to make it entertaining.

Thoughts on Slender Man? Have you even heard of him? It’s fun to watch walkthroughs because the reactions are hilarious but I would never play the game for myself.

Did you ever have a Sega Genesis? Nah, we were mostly a Nintendo and Sony family. I don’t recall ever having or seeing a Sega console at home.

Have you ever watched Top Gear? Not me, but I’ve seen my dad watch it. He also used to fervently collect the magazines.

Do you have a favorite Sunday comic strip? I don’t.

If we could walk on clouds, would you want to try it? If I could be assured that I wouldn’t fall through then yeah, I’d give it a shot.

Would you rather visit a zoo or a water park? I hate zoos for the most part and water parks sound nasty :/ I guess I’d go to a zoo, but it has to be one that’s well-maintained and has responsible practices.

Do you know what the Tardis is? Yup.

Are there any children's shows that you'd watch today if they were on? I would never ignore Spongebob and older episodes of Fairly OddParents if they were on.

What would you call yourself the King or Queen of? Spreadsheets, haha.

If I paid for you to take karate lessons, would you? Sure! Martial arts has been something I’ve been wanting to get into since I was a teenager. It’d be sweet if I got paid for the classes, too.

What do you think the world would be a very lonely place without? Dogs.

Would you rather take up playing drums or the ukulele? Drums.

Do you have a favorite pair of shoes? If so, describe them. My pair of Onitsukas. They’re white with blue and red lines, and they’re super comfy and go with nearly all my outfits. I really need to buy new pairs, though.

Would you like to be a master of disguise? I don’t really care.

Who is your favorite celebrity of the opposite sex? Gotta be Kim Seonho for sure :((( I love hiiiiiiiimmmmm

Does the room you're in have painted walls or wallpaper? Just painted walls.

Would you like to try playing actual Quidditch? Erm, I might have to pass up on the offer. Have you seen how fucking quickly they fly???? I’d be way too terrified lol

Do you read more fiction or non-fiction? Non-fiction. Fiction doesn’t appeal to me for the most part, unless I see it acted out through a film or series.

Are you a fan of picture collage walls? Yessssss I think they’re cute.

Do you find classical music to be soothing or anything at all? Sure, it’s soothing, especially piano.

If you could visit Halloweentown, would you? Idk what that is but uh sure.

How about Narnia? I guess.

If you could greedily take any song off the radio, which would it be? Anything from The Vamps or Meghan Trainor.

Do you have a favorite Science topic? Biology.

Have you ever read any Sherlock Holmes stories? No.

What is the saddest movie that you've ever seen? Revolutionary Road, Anomalisa, Schindler’s List is a good round-up. There is also The Hours but I’ve never revisited that movie since.

Is it really over when the fat lady sings? Bro idk

Does your whole family get together for any holidays? We’ve recently been doing them again, actually. There was a long stretch where we didn’t plan any get-togethers for the holidays, and those years definitely felt lonelier and emptier; but I guess my mom and her cousins (my aunts and uncles) finally wanna make up on all the lost time so now we’ve been going to various sides of my mom’s family to have several Christmas get-togethers over the last few years.

What is your favorite animal? Dogs and elephants :)

Elves or dwarfs? I don’t care.

Do you watch any of the Olympic events? No.

If given the chance to be a spectator at the Olympics, would you? Yes.

Can you hum the Pink Panther theme song? Probably not the full thing but the opening notes are very much familiar.