#it would be more accurate to tag this as Door's Open but i dont know who wuold. look it up as that and not sr | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

noritoshiikamo · 4 years ago

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worth my time

pairing: noritoshi kamo + fem!oc genre: porn (is fingering enough to call it porn??) without plot ish??? tags//warning: established relationship // slight smut???, fingering, emotional drained reader, reader dated character but then forced into arranged marriage and doubt the whole rs note: unedited, lowercase intended, just me and my nori brainrot dont mind the plotholes and everythingn, its not accurate according to the manga/anime like i just wanna feed myself and i haven't write in ages pls sent some ideas so i can get my lazy brain going, english isnt my first language im sorry if i murder it directory: read the first part | second part | third part | bonus

“how long have you known?”

noritoshi shrugged, bringing the cup of tea to his lips. the way he took time to answer her question drove her mad. “noritoshi, how long?” her voice strained. “would it make any difference if i’d known today or 10 years ago?”

her eyes shot wide opened, “10 fucking years?”

a small smile appeared on his lips as he lowered the cup, “hypothetically.” she grabbed one of the pillows from the pile on the bed and threw it to his face, embedded with what little left of her jujutsu power. they have been going on for hours and she was clearly too stubborn to let it go. it was clearly weak; he dodged it with a flick of his wrist switching the pillow’s trajectory. “you’re a fucking asshole,” she gritted through her teeth, falling on bed as wave of anger and sadness crashed through. “you think i wanted an arranged marriage? you think i like having every aspect of my life set since i was a child and scrutinized? i’m a bastard sitting on a throne. unlike you gojou clan, i had it much worst.”

she pulled her hair, fighting the tears that was already streaming down, “it’s not a competition. we are in the same school, i sat next to you for years and you’re telling me you have no idea that i’m your future wife, bullshit!” her eyes flickered as she threw the next close thing within her power’s vicinity; a vase. something hit the vase midway, breaking it into ashes and she watched as a drop of blood stained the floor. he broke it with his power. “you can throw every single thing in this room, y/n, but it doesn’t stop the fact that we are already married.” it was that one sentence that completely broke her. falling on her knees, she let a cry out, clutching on her chest as she cried to her heart’s content. this can’t be happening to me, no, no, no, her mind echoed as she forced herself to surrender to the fact that they are married. it’s not something easy to undo. it pained him to see her like this, but his wife needs to understand that he could do nothing about it. she cried for what seems to be like hours, the sleeves of her yukata wet from the tears and sweat. she fell on the floor to her knees, resting her body against the bed before finally looking up to meet her husband’s eyes. he could see defeat in her tired eyes. “we dated each other,” she sniffled, “was that real or was it just you scouting for your future wife?” her words sound like venom to him “i know you won’t believe me, but it was real. i would still marry you even if the marriage isn’t arranged.” noritoshi stood up, his barefoot echoed on the floor as he walked to his weakened wife. her body was hot, he suspected the skipping (refusing to eat) meals, raging and throwing tantrums after another had put her body in so much stress. he reached for the sash, trying to undo her yukata and she freaked out. grabbing his wrist, she shook her head, “what are you doing?” she asked shakily. “would you listen to me for once? you need a cold shower, you’re burning up, it would help.” she stopped fighting. his tone was a mixed of annoyance and tired. dating him made her realized that noritoshi has a high level of patience; but not right now. letting go of his wrist, she slipped the yukata off her shoulder herself, whined about how she disliked cold shower below her breath. he wore a small smile as he hoisted the naked girl up. it’s a small victory on noritoshi the husband, he’ll savor it for now.

the girl kneeled on the floor of the shower as noritoshi slowly ran the shower head slowly up her body. her arms wrapped tightly against her chest; she cursed every time the cold water reached new part of her body. ignoring the fact that his yukata was getting wetter, he kneeled behind her and let her rest her back against his chest. with the shower gel, his body froze every time she whined at his touch. something about the way she whined under his touches made him weak. he wants to kiss her stupid face so badly. “it’s cold,” she mumbled, her eyes closed as he ran his palm against her stomach. he pressed a kiss on the side of her face, “better?” he asked as his hand travelled lower. her eyes widened. he continued his kisses, down her jawline and her neck, bruising every spot as his fingers traced a lazy circle on her clit. she moaned out a throaty yes. he continued to whisper sweet nothings into her ears, promises of how he would take care of her, how he’s going to be a perfect husband, how she would be a perfect wife, how they’ll live happily together. she nodded her head in delirium, the pleasure of his fingers had her grinding her back on his crotch and emptying her thoughts. she could barely think straight. “tell me you’re mine,” he commanded, slipping a finger inside, “i can take care of you, baby,” her eyes rolled back, his words were not helping, it was just pure gasoline thrown into a burning fire. “nori, i want to cum,” she muttered, clutching desperate on the now two fingers. she felt his warm breath on the crook where her shoulder meet her neck, his fangs brushing threateningly against the sensitive skin. “open your mouth,” he urged, she whined at the lost feeling of his lips on her neck. she felt something dripping between her lips, his thumb brushing the lower lip. it painted her lips red. it tasted metallic, almost like a blood. it was his. he watched in satisfaction as his blood marking appeared on her right eye. he can control her blood, heightened her senses, throwing her body’s sensitivity off the wall, driving her off the edge with every spot of her body he touches; it sends pleasure twice as much. it wasn’t long until her velvety wall spasmed around his fingers. her body jolted forward; her shaky hands pressed against the wet tile preventing her from falling face first as orgasm washes out. she could barely make any noises, her throat was so dry, she felt like it might bleed. she won’t deny that the orgasm eased her pain, but she would deny if he dared brought it up; he would not get the pleasure of knowing she enjoyed that.

his palm brushed against her thigh, causing her to look up. he raised his eyebrows in question which she brushed it off with a nod. she grabbed his hand and steadied herself up.

“i’m okay,” she voiced out.

he undressed, continued their shower from square one. they’ve done this before; sharing shower after mission washing blood off each other but this time, it feels different. she sighed at the pleasure, letting her hands rest against his toned chest. we are married, the sentence echoed in her mind as he massaged the shampoo on her head. never ever she thought that this is how she’ll be married. it’s not like she dreamed of a huge wedding. he did throw a small gathering, respecting her boundaries and her anxiety but everything just moved so fast. her parents are dead, her only remaining family is satoru, a distant cousin who finds it a no issue for her to marry her boyfriend. it is not an issue for her to marry noritoshi kamo, she loves him so much, but not like this. she wished she had more choices in this. he hummed a song, a habit of his that he caught from his mother, a lullaby his mother always sings. she wanted to hate him so much, for befriending her, making her fall in love with him and then forced her into a marriage. but when she opened her eyes and stared up into his, to see such loving look in his eyes, it weakened her. her heart is a wreck. “why do you do this to me?” she whimpered, slamming her fist into his chest. he refused to answer.

she was tired of his silence.

he turned the shower off, opening the glass door letting waft of cold air out. he left to fetch her towel and she stalked toward the nearby mirror. “how long until the thing wears off?” she asked when she caught a glimpse of herself. she reached to touch the blood marking on her eyes. he wrapped the towel around her body, hugging her from behind and through the foggy mirror, he brushed his thumb on her cheek, whispered something she couldn’t catch as the mark subsided.

“this doesn’t change the fact that i’m mad at you.”

he laughed it off, “i didn’t say it does. you always feel better post orgasm, you know how i know it?” he kissed her temple, eyes burned into hers, “because i dated you.”

her teeth gritted in annoyance.

“you think if i dated you to scout my future wife, i wouldn’t waste my time learning how your body responds to me, the way you yearn for me,” a kiss fell on her neck, “learn how well you control your shikigami and goes through lengths to teach you how to use my bow,” another kiss went up her jaw, “teach you my own blood techniques because god, why jujutsu needs to be such an exclusive thing,” arms went around her waist, “worried sick every single time utahime send you off for a mission, taking care of your wounds, being there to catch your reckless ass,” his breath lingered on her ears, “completely falling in love with you wholeheartedly for 3 years. i’d abandoned my father’s choice. you are arranged to be my wife, on my own accord. i choose you. you weren’t my father’s choice, but even in million years, even if sukuna’s vessel reincarnated again and again, even if the world split open and sent you miles away, even if i’m not the head of kamo clan,” his hand grabbed her chin, hard and forced her to meet his eyes, his words send shivers down her spine, “i would still choose you.”

she’s completely putty in his hand. she let out a soft whine as his body abandoned her, his warmth gone and came the cold biting her bare skin. her eyes followed the back of the man as he stalked to the wardrobe leaving the girl alone to ponder on his words.

“now, wouldn’t it just be a waste of my time, my wife?”

#okay im done loool #noritoshi kamo #kamo noritoshi #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #noritoshi kamo x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #idk what tag more lol #noritoshi smut #noritoshi x reader #jjk smut #writing: fics

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pinkteapotwriting · 4 years ago

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Surprise

Wolfstar x reader

Word count : 1244

Warning : Allusions to sex but otherwise pure fluff!!!

Summary : You make a surprise for your boys

Sirius was trying to nap, emphasis on the trying, but every time he closed his eyelids they shot right open at the sound of an annoying rat- a-tat tapping coming from the bed room. He groaned as he reluctantly left his once comforting spot on the sofa to tramp on over to the bedroom you so graciously kicked him out of. He marched over intending to tell you off, but once he reached the doorway his frustration quickly turned into bewilderment.

“Y/N what the hell are you doing?”

You were standing on one of the dining room chairs holding a hammer in one hand and nails in the other.

“Sirius, I told you not to come in here it’s a surprise for you and Remus.”

“You know doll, you could just ask for help, you look ridiculous being as short as you are doing that, or you could use magic at least you’d end my suffering faster.”

Your hands found their way to your hips very quick. “First of all I’m not short just cause I’m not a doofy giant like you (he dramatically clutched his chest at the word doofy.) yes that’s right doofy. Secondly, I don’t mind doing things the old fashioned way. Thirdly, it wouldn’t be much of a surprise if you helped now get out.”

He mocked your stance, mimicking your voice, not accurately at all though considering how high pitched it was. “Firstly, I was just trying to nap but you’re being loud. Secondly-”

“I’m Serious, get out.”

“No, I’m Sirius and you didn’t let me finish.”

“Ha ha I’ve never heard that one before.”

“Y/NNNNN” God he was dramatic.

“Whaaaaaat”

He cleared his throat, “Secondly, dont-roll-your-eyes-at-me-i-swear-to-god-if-you-dont-let-me-finish- Secondly. How long are you gonna lock me out of my own bloody room!?”

“Excuse you, our bloody room and until Remus gets home, even longer if you don’t get out now, or else I won’t be able to finish before that.”

You waved your wand at him and he was blasted a few feet back and the door was slammed in his face.

He banged on the door, you just locked it. He scoffed when he heard the click.

“I can just unlock this with my wand you know!”

“You mean with the wand you left on the bedside table? Good luck with that love.”

“You’re being fucking ridiculous Y/N I’m bored. I’m going to die of boredom, do you want me to die of boredom.”

“If it would shut you up I’d be tempted to say yes. Just find a way to occupy yourself, the kitchen could use a good sweep.”

“Don’t act like you’re my fucking mother.”

“If you don’t want me to act like your mother then don’t act like a goddamn child! Now bugger off.”

“You hear that Y/N, it’s the sound of me dying.”

You couldn’t see but you heard the sound of two knees hitting the floor and the top half of his body following suit.

“Oh honestly” you muttered to yourself “what a big baby.”

Oh well, least he decided to be quiet, better get this done quickly.

---

You were just returning the dining room chair to the table when you heard the front door open and close, following the sound of the familiar footsteps of the tall lanky man you adored.

You rushed to the door and didn’t even think about giving Remus the chance to either, when you jumped into his arms and quite literally became a koala in his arms.

“Remmy, missed you.”

Between kissing your neck and cheek he responded.

“Yeah? Missed you too my love, so much.”

You could have stayed in his arms content forever but Sirius wasn’t having it.

“Aren’t I your love too? Y/N stop being selfish I want a hug too.”

“You don’t deserve a hug you were mean today.”

“Was Sirius being mean to my baby?” Remus cooed.

“Was not!”

“What did Sirius do precious?”

“He said (insert fake sniffle) -he said that I was fucking ridiculous and he cursed at me in other ways too and I was just trying to do something nice by surprising you two with something in the bedroom.”

“Oh?”

“Oops, not that kind of bedroom surprise.”

“That’s alright love, I’m sorry Siri was being such a meanie to my darling. Let’s go see your surprise.”

“Hey, I’m your darling too and don’t you want to hear what was said to me!?”

“You probably got what you deserved.”

Sirius stood with his mouth agape while you stuck your tongue out at him. Remus put you down and leaned forward to give Sirius a quick peck on the cheek.

“Come on Y/N, what did you do for Siri and me?”

You led them to the bedroom door and unlocked it with your wand.

“Alright boys, close your eyes.”

You waved your hands in front of their faces to see if they had listened and grabbed each of their hands to lead them through. You had them sit on the end of your bed.

“Alright, open.”

Sirius knew where to look right away, but it didn’t take Remus long for his eyes to find what you had done. The top of the walls were lined with beautiful gold ornate string lights. They were littered with butterflies that would look real if they weren’t so still. Though they were both in awe, Remus was the first to break the silence.

“Y/N, where’d you even find these? What are they?”

“They’re string lights I made them.”

“String lights?” Sirius had snapped out of his daze. “And you made these?”

“Yep, here’s your wand Siri, now say lumos filum.”

“Lumos filum.”

The room was filled with a warm glow. They were dumbstruck.

“Okay Remmy now you say lumos pyralis.”

“Lumos pyralis.”

Suddenly the butterflies were fluttering around the room, still emitting that warm glow, like golden fireflies.

“Y/N?”

“Yes Siri?”

“I’m sorry for being an ass, these are beautiful.”

“It’s alright, sorry I ruined your nap.”

“Oh, that’s why he’s so cranky.” Remus chortled.

“I’m not cranky!”

You only giggled at his furrowed eyebrows and crossed arms; you giggled even harder when he tried his hardest to maintain his shroud of anger when one of your creations landed on his nose. Remus moved his pointer finger to Sirius’s nose and let it crawl on. He blew on it gently so it would join the rest of its brethren resting on the ceiling. He paused to appreciate the beauty up there before his eyes rested on a sight much more beautiful.

“You are breathtaking darling, in everything you do.”

“Hey,” Sirius quipped “Aren’t I breathtaking too?”

You kissed his nose and your lips ghosted over his own. “Course you are darling.”

“Prove it.”

“You dork, if you wanna be breathtaking you have to take my breath away.”

Remus eyed the grin that took up Sirius’s face as he rose from his spot to tower over you. “Y/N, I have a feeling you’re gonna regret challenging him, you know how he gets.”

“He wants to be breathtaking, then he can prove it, not me.”

You squealed as you were flung onto the bed and your wrists were pinned beside your head. You gained the courage to look into his piercing grey eyes.

“You really are gonna regret it now, love. Then we’ll see who the big baby is after.”

Welp, you were in for a long, long night.

---

@thotbutpurple @sunny-bunnny @quindolyn

@accioweaslcy @ambria I’m tagging you two lovelies cause you wanted wolfstar *mwah* enjoy

#Sirius black #sirius black x reader #Remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin fluff #sirius black fluff #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fluff #fluff #fanfiction #wolfstar #wolfstar x reader #polywolfstar #wolfstar fluff

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sablesides-writing-corner · 4 years ago

Note

DID SOMEBODY SAY VIRGIL ANGST?? *Ahem* Can You Do “Nobody’s seen you in days.” With Prinxiety Please?

Gods how was he so stupid?.

It was only a matter of time before Janus got accepted.

Only a matter of time before he had to confront the facade he'd so masterfully crafted.

A facade that had worked so well even the Lord of the Lies believed it as a truth.

Virgil wasnt ready for that, Virgil would never be ready for that.

Well, they hadnt needed him last video, he only got in the way when Thomas had gone to the mall.

They wouldnt miss him, he could just stay in his room safe and sound and never have to confront anything ever again.

Tears were very salty, a lot more so than how they were usually described, almost bitter.

His were black, almost like he cried ink, Roman had always though of it as rather poetic.

He wished he'd never let Roman see him cry.

Wished he hadnt stopped insulting and berating him.

Wished they hadnt stopped arguing.

Wished they hadnt fallen in love. . .

It was a lot hard to sequester yourself in the abyssal depths of your room if you loved someone beyond it.

But Virgil would try, and he'd try as hard as possible.

Nothing was getting him out.

"Kiddo? I brought you breakfast. . ." Patton was the first routine visitor after the sides finally figured out where Virgil had been for the past week.

He'd heard them screaming about it the whole time, like chickens with their heads cut off.

Though he supposed headless chickens didnt scream.

"You can eat with us today if you want," Patton continued.

Virgil gave no response.

"Or you can eat it by yourself," Patton said, tone resigned and sad.

Vitgil waited until he heard footsteps, and for good measure sent some spiders out to check that he was really gone.

He heard both Patton and Roman scream as they fled.

Once he was sure they'd gone and hadnt brought anyone or anything else, he took the plate inside and shut the door, locking all three padlocks for good measure.

He didnt eat anything except the strawberry garnish on the toast.

He hadnt been hungry for days, and it wasnt like sides needed to eat, the only sides to get malnourished were the twins if Thomas was in a bad creative block, and even then they only looked it, they were never actually starving.

But still, no one took it as a good sign.

And if Virgil was honest the stench was starting to get to him.

But he didnt snap the trash bin away, he couldn't really, his magic was weaker by the day.

As Anxiety, his magic was tied to emotion.

And he hadn't felt anything but empty for weeks.

He heard another knock on the door.

"Virgil. . ."

Roman

His voice was hoarse and raspy, he'd been crying.

"Virgil nobody's seen you in days. . . I- We all miss you terribly so, please. . . Come back to us. . ." Roman whispered.

Virgil gave no response.

"At least let me take your trash out, I can smell it from out here,"

Virgil obliged and opened the door ever so slightly to remove the trashcan, not looking at Roman for even a second before slamming it back shut.

Roman let out a sigh, and went on his way.

It was a full month before Virgil got another visitor.

"Virgil."

Virgil froze as Janus' voice breached the door, his parent voice.

"I know why you're hiding," Janus continued.

Virgil raised his head off his pillow ever so slightly.

"I've tricked you into thinking you've tricked me, which simply isnt an accurate statement, I'm well aware of your fabrication and fantasy as a result of the perceived status quo on the light side," the floor creaked slightly as one of Virgil's feet slipped off the bed.

"We've abolished the differentiation within the mindscape, each side may come and go as he pleases, there is no need for worry about reputation,"

Virgil let out a slight hiss as he opened the door just a sliver, light catching in his eyes.

"You're not mad?" he said, feeling like a child who'd been caught adjusting his own report card.

"Never was," Janus replied, extending a hand. Vitgil took it, his own now feeling smaller than usual.

"VIRGIL!" Roman practically knocked the wind out of his boyfriend as Virgil and Janus rounded the corner.

"Oh Virgil it's been ages,I almost thought you'd shrivelled up like a prune and died in there!" Roman continued, barely letting Virgil open his mouth before sprinkling his face with kisses and locking their lips together.

"I- I'm sorry-" Virgil said, Roman's face went visibly gentler.

"You didnt do anything wrong, you were just afraid," he said, running a thumb along Virgil's cheek.

"Now come along, you need to eat something other than a garnish for once,"

"You're not going to baby me are you,"

"Dont push it,"

-------------------------

Tag list:

@nova-xx

@softestpatton

@meowthefluffy

@a-deceit-salad

@nerosdayinhell

@soupforfree

@willowaudreykeyes

@the-sad-strawberry

@sneaky-slytherin

@romano-hottopic

@virgiliciousspeaks

@ray-does-stuff

@idrawdumbstuffs

#cori answers #ts roman #ts virgil #ts sides #ts patton #ts janus #tw isolation #tw food refusal #tw fear #tw crying #prinxiety #romantic prinxiety #familial anxceit

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jeonqquk · 4 years ago

Text

racket | jjk

↳pairing: jungkook x reader ↳genre/tags: badmintonplayer!jungkook and badmintonplayer!reader, barely any badminton related stuff, rushed asf, accidental confession-?, they dont even kiss wtf ↳rating: everyone <3 ↳wc: 6k

Jeon Jungkook was capable of being the eighth wonder of the world. He may not have come into existence in the 1700s but his ability to do almost everything perfectly was bewildering. Whether it be eating an entire cake in the span of a half-hour or defeating even the coaches at badminton.

Everybody loved Jungkook, his sweet and caring nature paired with those godly features attracted everyone to him- in many ways. Unfortunately, you weren’t part of the everybody lot.

You hated Jungkook. Absolutely despised his abhorrent ass. So much so that if he were the last person alive, you’d even kill yourself just to stay away from him. But that was highly unlikely, so you weren’t going to kill yourself.

The hatred had just always been there, his competitive side seeming fucking atrocious to you. The feeling was mutual, though, so you didn’t feel as guilty as you would’ve if you just detested him while he behaved politely with you.

Jungkook was petty, even you knew that by now. His competitiveness always getting the better of him and turning him into someone with a completely different persona. Losing was not something he was used to. Maybe that’s why he had only a handful of friends, he would do anything to win. It could be a silly bet or even a tournament- Jungkook just had to win.

All the people he was friends with though, their relationship was beautiful. There were only 4 or 5 boys he actually got along with and their adoration for each other could be seen by anybody.

This wouldn’t have been a problem if you weren’t also as competitive as him. You’re technically in no position to say that Jungkook’s hatred towards losing was unhealthy because you hated it too. You thought it made you seem weak, incapable- and you supposed that it was the same reason as to why the youngest Jeon son hated losing as well but you never tried understanding him. Let alone let him speak for a minute if he was in a 10-foot-radius of you.

It was better this way, you thought. It was better to hate him than actually trying to befriend him and catching those unwanted feelings. Hating Jungkook was simpler, easier. Or so you thought for the 10 years of the two of you attending the same badminton academy. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, the two of you were in the same class at college as well. So you had to deal with his annoying self for the larger part of the day.

It was around a month before the annual badminton tournament of your state and obviously, you and Jungkook were taking part in it, more intent on defeating each other rather than the opposing teams. This wouldn’t work though, your coach had called the two of you after practice one day and had said “Listen, Jungkook, Y/n. I know that you’re both really good players and also hate each other.” he sighs, “I’m not asking you to befriend each other, no. I just want the two of you to get along for the tournament. For the sake of our school.” The coach makes a pleading face and you just nod, looking over at Jungkook to see his reaction. He hums and looks down.

After the coach has walked away, you look at Jungkook again, getting ready to tell him that this wasn’t really going to affect the way you behaved with him but he beats you to it, his voice reaching your ears as your lips stay parted midway.

“So, I guess...no more arguing?” Jungkook finally looks at you with a slightly questioning face and you’re left momentarily blank, his proposition seeming so out of character that you’re at a loss for words. This wasn’t expected out of Jungkook. What was expected was that he would just scoff before glaring at you for no reason and stalking away. Him asking you if you wanted to stop the childish arguments the two of you had was not expected.

It takes you a minute to comprehend that Jeon Jungkook was actually trying to put an end to those mini-wars of yours. Your reply is dumb “Uh- okay.” You’re still in a daze from what he said and it’s only when he snaps his fingers in front of your face that you immediately want to spit out a sassy remark but bite your tongue on it, not wanting to disregard Jungkook’s suggestion just after seconds of it having come out of those pink lips of his.

Not knowing what to do, you nod and turn around to get into the locker rooms before heading home. You’re oblivious to the fact that Jungkook almost called your name, wanting to talk to you more, he didn’t know why, but decided against it. You wouldn’t accept the offer anyway.

The walk back to your house is quiet, you’re humming a random tune and there aren’t many vehicles on the road, except for school buses dropping kids home. Unlocking the door, you step into your house and close it behind you before keeping your bag in your room and changing out of your clothes. After all that is done, you check the time and see that it’s 3:18 pm, you have around 2 hours before badminton coaching and suddenly feeling motivated, you heat up some leftover pizza and walk into your room to paint something.

You may not be good at art, you admitted that without any shame because there were a lot of other things you could perform flawlessly. Playing badminton, whining and being able to smell any fried food from miles away to name a few. But you didn’t want to do art because you’d get good at it or something, it was something you genuinely enjoyed and the comments from other people didn’t matter as long as you were satisfied with yourself. And that meant your circles not looking like amoeba.

You take out a drawing book that had been laying in the third drawer of your desk for months and dig up some paintbrushes and watercolour tubes you had left before sitting at your desk to finally start your work. You let your fingers guide you, not thinking much about what you were doing and what the outcome would be. Occasionally dusting your hands from the pizza crumbs, you were quite focused on your work.

30 minutes later, you’re leaning back in your chair and surveying your painting. Woah, it looks pretty-

Wait is that fucking Jungkook you see? “Huh?” your forehead is creased in perplexity, did you just paint a goddamn Jungkook? It looks like Jungkook, though...the bambi eyes and that tiny pout on his lips. How did you-

You were so confused right now. What were you thinking? Well, you obviously weren’t thinking.

Wow. Apparently, you had drawn Jungkook, your sworn enemy, without knowing. Not knowing what to do with the average portrait that didn’t do any justice to his actual features, you quickly clean up your stuff and keep it all back in its respective drawers.

It’s now 4 and you get out your books to get some homework done before leaving for coaching. Ugh. You’d have to see Jungkook there too. You wonder how he’ll behave with you, hopefully, he won’t come anywhere near you.

Sighing as you finish the assignments before stretching back in your chair, you get up to change into your sports clothes before grabbing your bag and water bottle, looking at yourself once in the mirror before walking out towards the pleasantly close by badminton academy you had grown way too accustomed to.

Upon reaching the building, you walk through the reception and smile at the elderly lady who sits there every day. You push the door that leads to the courts and walk on the side, greeting your friends that were warming up. You don’t see Jungkook anywhere right now so that’s a good sign and you bow slightly at your coach in respect although the many years of being taught by the man have obviously gotten the two of you very close. Your bag is kept near a bench in its usual place and you put on the shoes you could wear only on the badminton courts before picking a corner on the side of the court and begin stretching.

You’re walking to get your racquet when you see Jungkook jogging up to your coach, saying something to him with an apologetic look before getting a playful shove from sir as he nods towards the benches where Jungkook would most probably keep his stuff and do some quick exercises before joining the rest of you.

Said boy’s gaze meets yours and he smiles. You don’t reciprocate the gesture, scoffing and moving over to Jihye who’s already looking at you with a cheeky smile adorning her face. “What?” you question, not understanding why she was acting so weird “Don’t pretend you don’t know.” she gives you a playful shove to which you reply by tch-ing and rolling your eyes, done with her childish behaviour. “Seriously Jihye what th-”

“I saw Jungkook smile at you.”

The look on your face is an accurate representation of what you were thinking right now. So what? That smile was nothing, he was just acting upon what he had said earlier. “Yeah, so?” you reply boredly, watching as Jihye’s mouth open wide- wide enough for her to fit her entire fist inside.

“Yeah, so? Are you shitting me Y/n? Jeon Jungkook just smiled at you and you didn’t even do anything in response?” you’re still watching her blankly. Although you admit that it’s not her fault entirely, even you were shocked, very shocked when he first told you about the no-more-fighting pact.

“He just said that we shouldn’t argue now, because the coach at school said that it was going to be bad for our team. You know, in the tournament.” you simply shrug, trying not to make a big deal out of the fact and Jihye is about to reply before the coach is calling all of you for a shadow drill.

Shit.

You are given one side of a court and by some way or the other, Jungkook is opposite to you, his black pants sticking to those fleshy thighs so deliciously and hi-

What?

What is wrong with you? You’ve been thinking about Jungkook unconsciously- first drawing him and now this. Get a grip Y/n.

The whistle of your coach sounds throughout the entire room and your chain of thoughts is broken as your run towards the left side of the net from your position in the centre of the court before picking up one of the shuttles and running back to the centre, moving to the right side of the net now and doing the same as you continue the drill. Jungkook is swift, his feet are balanced and he still manages to look so graceful as he runs around his side of the court.

You’re finally done with all the corners of the court twice as you move to sit in the space between the two different courts as you pant. The two people who were waiting now go to your and Jungkook’s positions as they begin the shadows drill now. You’re surprised to see that Jungkook has opted to sit next to you, you with your bright pink skirt sticking to your skin in all its glory.

“Hi.” he smiles and turns towards you with his hand outstretched in front of your form. With a questioning look on your face, you shake his hand. How far was he planning on going when he said that the two of you wouldn’t be having those silly arguments anymore? To you, it meant that the pair of you would just stick to your own places and not interact with each other or do anything that would result in the bickering to resume.

“Hey..?” Jungkook retracts his hand, leaving yours in mid-air. “So you uh wanna like hang out..um..like somewhere?” This boy had been taking you by surprise too much lately, why would he randomly ask you to hang out?

Sure he had said that he didn’t want the two of you having those little fights anymore but this? This was unexpected- really fucking unexpected.

“Uh...so suddenly?” he slightly frowns “Why? Are you uncomfortable with it? That’s totally fine though!”

Jungkook was being too friendly, a little too friendly, you were confused and shocked at his tactics but tried not to show it on your face. “I mean, yeah, okay.” The words came tumbling out of your mouth before you could even realise it and his face was now bright. His smile so sweet, you feel a cavity forming and he nods. “Cool! After practice then..? He trails off, suddenly hesitant and you’re still dumbfounded by how quickly things had taken a turn, for the better you supposed.

Not even a day ago, the two of you were ready to claw the other’s eyes out and now, you were agreeing to go out with him. This is not a date though. Jungkook and you are just going out to bond as friends. Nothing more, nothing less. Nodding, you smile lightly, trying to reduce some of the awkwardness from your face as you suggest a cafe to meet up at.

Practice is over and you are walking out of the academy with Jihye chattering beside you. “Oh! I almost forgot, so about that Jungkook thing. I saw the two of you talking also.” she wiggles her eyebrows suggestively, or that’s what she thinks it looks like. Turning to face her, you sigh at her usual habit of sticking her nose into others’ business and tell her simply that he had just asked you to meet up at the cafe so you could just chill.

“Holy shit, it’s a date!” Jihye seems more excited about the meet-up, not date, her hands coming up to join in front of her chest as she looks at you in bewilderment. “Why are you so passive?” your friend is way too excited for something so normal but then again, this was you and Jungkook. The two of you could never go a day without insulting the other before. Now you were meeting up with the same guy at a cafe in another hour or so. When you tell Jihye this, she stops walking, putting her hand on the left side of her chest- where her heart was. Her dramatic behaviour was now normal now and you knew the reason for her overreaction.

Your love life was drier than the Sahara Desert in a fucking draught. You had been on just a handful of dates in your entire existence, only 5 or 6 of them ending up with you fucking the guy. The others had just been awkward, mainly because of your edgy self.

It wasn’t that big of a problem though, you were too occupied by your college work and badminton tournament preparations that anything else just seemed like a waste of time. For instance, instead of going out with some guy, you could stay home and binge-watch Stranger Things. There were a lot more practical things that could be done without the company of males.

The only reason you agreed to go out with Jungkook was that you wanted to see how it would end up. There was a very slim chance that your meeting would go very well but if Jungkook kept behaving as sweet as he was now, you wouldn’t even have a solid reason to be rude to the poor fellow. Nevertheless, you were not going to completely relax because one never knows.

“I’m coming over to pick out your outfit!” Jihye is excited, jumpy because this is new- you going out with someone of the opposite gender. And although it was completely normal for someone else, you just looked at your friend judgmentally, feigning annoyance and earning a light shove from her that has you stumbling on the sidewalk.

“‘Kay'” she squeals when you agree and invites herself to your house, saying that you should take a shower while she picks out your outfit. You trusted her though, Jihye’s fashion sense was really good and you knew for a fact that whatever she would pick out would be trendy.

Unlocking your house with the bronze key, you walk in and keep your bag in its place before walking to get a glass of water for Jihye and yourself. She accepts and plops down on your couch before you pull her up by the arm, a disgusted look on your face. “Go wash up first.” she pouts but heads into the bathroom near the hallway nonetheless to wash up. You shout to her from your room that you’re heading to shower and she shouts back an “Alright.” from downstairs as you open the door, heading in for a steamy shower.

40 minutes later, you’re getting out of your bathroom, content, to Jihye’s shrieking. Something along the lines of missing the date and you roll your eyes when you hear the last word. It was not a date for God’s sake!

You nonchalantly nod at no one in particular and apply your cream before heading out in a bathrobe. She’s sitting on your bed with some outfits placed on your bed. At first glance, they all look colour-coordinated with some accessories here and there but upon closer inspection, you see that every piece of clothing on your mattress was one of the shortest you had in every category.

“Do you want me to look like a slut?” you ask with your arms folding in front of your chest, and Jihye looks at you with wide eyes, offended that you even had the nerve to comment on her outfit-picking skills.

“No! These are all fine for a meet-up.” She uses finger quotes for the last word and you smile to yourself, “Uh, let me just stop you there. I don’t really know what people mean when they use this.” you make the finger quotes and she gasps “Did you just-” your shoulders raise and as the laughter dies down, you walk closer to the bed, mentally evaluating each outfit she had oh so carefully picked. They’re all really stylish, you gotta admit that but you’d never say it to her face. The one closest to the headboard consists of a full-sleeved plain white turtleneck that had a greyish-brown dress that reached your mid-thigh laid on top of it. It was something you could wear, maybe with some electric pink leggings. You see that Jihye, who is now rummaging in your collection of shoes, has also laid some black boots in front of the bed that matched the first dress.

Your gaze travels to the one on the middle one and you immediately furrow your eyebrows, already ruling the strapless crop top and ripped shorts out. Too much skin.

The one to the far left is also decided to not be inappropriate for the occasion as you didn’t think Jungkook would want to see you in a burgundy top with spaghetti straps. The jeans that had too many huge holes in them didn’t even look cool at this point. What were you thinking when you bought this.

Jihye comes out with some heels for one of the outfits “Why are you even putting so much effort into this? I can just wear a shirt and sweats.” She huffs out, unamused, as you giggle at her annoyed face. “Kidding. So, I really like this one.” you point at the dress and she smiles slyly “Showing off your long legs I see.” Punching her shoulder, you make some place to sit on the bed, glad that you shaved today. “Now, get out of my room. I need to change and apply make-up.” She nods and you watch her close the door behind her, getting up to lock it for extra safety measures.

Not like she was gonna barge in and catch you in your star printed underwear anyways. Changing into the turtle neck and then the dress, you look at yourself in the mirror and if it wasn’t your frizzy hair, you would even think you looked cute. You brush your hair and settle for a high ponytail. Putting on your shoes, you apply a little bit of make-up, not wanting to seem overly eager but the excessive amount of perfume may or may not give you away.

As you open the door and walk down to where Jihye has changed into some sweats she had kept in your house for times like these, she gasps upon seeing you, chip almost falling out her mouth and chews it before widening her eyes comically “Babe! You look so good.” you smile at her compliment, giving her a twirl as she gets up to probably to hug you before deciding against it, shaking her head.

“So, is my make-up looking fine?” she nods furiously and you pick up your purse that was on the dining chair before looking at the clock to see that you only have ten minutes before Jungkook arrives. You bid Jihye goodbye, not worried in the slightest bit about her being alone at your house.

As you’re walking, the cafe comes into view and you spot a familiar figure walking into the shop as well and you increase your speed to enter at the same time as Jungkook to make it seem as if you weren’t even slightly late. He doesn’t notice you even when you’re right behind him and walks to a table to sit down as you sit opposite him immediately, realising that he had walked to a two-people table in the corner of the shop.

His eyes widen and he stutters out in shock, “O-Oh, you’re here,” Nodding, you hide a smile and greet him back, trying not to get into an argument with him. It’s silent for a while, you think of anything to say to break the awkward atmosphere but just as you’re looking up from the ground to speak to Jungkook, his voice is filling your ears. “Do you want to order?” He waits and you simply nod, “Okay, I’ll come to get my coffee.”

Just as you’re getting up, Jungkook keeps his hand on you without warning, head shaking frantically. “No! I mean, I can get it for you.” Looking up in surprise, you’re unable to speak for a moment. Did Jeon Jungkook just say that he would buy you coffee?

You shake your head and snap out of your trance. Or at least you try to. “No, it’s alright. I can get it myself.” Jungkook rushes to quieten you again and looks like he won’t let you win, so you sigh and back down. “Fine.” He giggles and walks off to the counter while you take your phone out to kill time. Getting bored when you see that there are not any notifications, you switch the device off and look out of the window, watching as people get out of their cars for a pitstop at the cafe before driving away again.

“Here are the coffees.” You turn your head and see Jungkook setting two cups of coffee on the table before sitting himself. Looking at what he got you, you thank him for bringing the correct order and he just sends a light smile in your direction, rubs his hands together and picks up the cup with both hands. You almost coo, but hold yourself together. This was your enemy.

That reminds you, “So, why are you suddenly being so kind to me? It’s really weird to experience you treating me nicely.” You hadn’t meant for your tone to come off as accusing, but it does, and you have to watch Jungkook’s eyes flash with hurt for a second before shaking his head lightly. He places his cup back in the small saucer and his hands on either side of it.

“I knew you would ask me this.” egging him on with a raise of your eyebrows, you take a sip of your coffee “Remember how Coach said that we should stop arguing?” At your nod, he licks his lips and continues on with his explanation, “Well, I thought about it-” “You told me to stop arguing right after he left.” “I thought about it and I decided that we really shouldn’t be having these fights. Like, what’s the point? I’m not getting anything out of it. You’re not getting anything out of it.” He ignores your words and when you hear his, ask yourself why you hadn’t tried to put a stop to the childish arguments you had with Jungkook.

You don’t know why you ever fought back. Well, you did hate losing and Jungkook did everything to rile you up- so he was at fault too- but there was no specific reason as to why you hated Jungkook so much. “I don’t know, you were the one who started them. I don’t have a problem with becoming friends.”

Jungkook looks at you, looking as if he’s trying to figure something out, pouty lips looking kissable but you quickly brush those thoughts off. “So..” his hands come closer to yours and you’re shocked to feel your heart starting to beat faster, its pace picking up as Jungkook’s hand comes closer to yours. “..friends?” his pinky intertwines with yours and you feel your face turn red, the action igniting something in you.

Looking down at your fingers intertwined seems to be a big mistake as you gasp, the sight just overwhelming you. His hand fit in yours perfectly, and even if he meant it just as friends, you couldn’t help but imagine how it would be to be loved by Jungkook.

No! You two just started behaving normally around each other and you’re already thinking about loving him?

A voice in your head sounds as Jungkook retrieves his hand to pick up the call that had distracted you. You take your hand back and keep it in your lap, tingling sensations till lingering.

Jungkook looks at you apologetically for a second, and you reassure him that he could take the call but he tells whoever was on the other side of the line that he was busy, cutting the call after he told the person that he would call them back later.

“Sorry about that.” you barely catch his mumble and shake your head, “Don’t worry.” As you finish your coffee and make small talk with Jungkook about random things, you start growing more comfortable around him, cracking jokes and laughing at his lame ones. You’re discussing some things about the upcoming tournament when Jungkook suddenly leans in closer.

You move back out of shock and he stills, eyes suddenly going wide as his breathing halts. Your own starts getting heavy, his sudden action having caught you terribly off guard. After partially having gained your composure back, you see that Jungkook is still in the same position, “J-Jungkook?” He takes a moment to snap out of whatever trance he was put in and blinks once, twice before gasping loudly and jerking backwards. His back hits the chair and his mouth is still open in shock at what he did.

“S-Sorry..” he trails off, chewing his lip and your eyes follow the motion carefully before darting them back to his face quickly. He furrows his brows and starters ahead of you before shaking his head, murmuring something to himself. “You ok there?” you try to keep your voice soft, soothing as Jungkook shifts his gaze to you, wide eyes looking absolutely adorable.

You question him again, worried, “What wa-” “I like you.”

Silence.

You sputter, his words having caught you off guard and if Jungkook’s eyes could go any wider, they do, his hand instantly coming to slap over his face and he curses, “I-fuck.” You’re still shocked by his confession and your brain takes time to process what he said, the three simple words not registering in your mind until suddenly, Jungkook’s voice brings you back to the present.

“Y-Y/n?” He sounds hesitant, and your face must be an accurate representation of what you’re feeling right now because Jungkook begins speaking again, his eyes filled with worry as he tries to fix his mistake. “No. I mean, yes, I like you-” Your face portrays horror at his words again and he rushes to correct himself, hitting himself on the head once.

“You what?” Your voice is hushed for unknown reasons and Jungkook looks around, trying to calm himself down by breathing in and out and you use the time to do the same, the initial shock having worn off as you exhale loudly and take a bite out of the cookie from the small plate he had gotten.

“I like you, Y/n.” Jungkook’s tone is more serious this time, and you try maintaining a straight face, his words finally sinking and you choke on your saliva. “Like like me?” you question dumbly and he nods desperately, licking his lips and drumming his fingers on the table, a nervous habit of his.

“Oh,” Jeongguk tilts his head at your response and you muster the courage to ask him a question that had been lingering on your mind ever since he confessed. “Since..?”

He coughs loudly into his mouth, trying to hide the blush that creeps up his cheeks and looks at you with a suddenly brave gaze, “I’ve liked you for a long time, Y/n. The reason I started annoying was because I wanted you to notice me, not because I disliked you...And better confess now instead of regretting not doing anything before right?” Your mouth is left hanging at his confession now, the real reason for his pestering finally coming out into the light.

“Why would you annoy me, though? You could've just come up and talked to me, it would've been way easier for us.” At this, Jeongguk blushes, trying to cover his burning cheeks from you and cups his face in his hands. “I don’t know..you were really annoying, to be honest.”

“I was annoying- you asshole!” You lean over and hit his arm, much to his chagrin and he frowns before swatting your arm away. Silence falls over the two of you, but it's not the awkward kind, you just sit quietly, drowning yourself in thoughts about Jungkook.

“So…” Beside you, Jungkook shifts shyly and lowers his head when you look at him, the sight igniting something warm inside you. “Can I ask to ask you out?” His hair sits prettily atop his forehead, hands on his lap and his lips are scrunched into the cutest pout.

“Why don’t you ask me and find out?” You aim for a teasing tone, but miss by a mille, instead sounding breathless and at this, Jungkook smiles before leaning in closer. “Will you go on a date with me?”

Even though you knew he was going to ask you, the words still send tingles throughout your entire body, heart racing and you nod before you can even think.

It has you suddenly thinking about the drastic turn of events. The guy who was once (not even a few hours ago) your biggest enemy had just confessed to you and was asking you out. You’re thinking if it was a bad decision, but with Jungkook looking so innocent and just, like a child, it’s hard to think straight. Your heart beats erratically as Jungkook gives you one last soft smile before getting up and walking to pay, and you try chasing him and stopping him from paying for both your and his drinks but as much as you want to, you’re still stuck in place, everything that happened recently replaying in your head. He comes back in a few minutes and holds out his hand for you to take, and as you’re getting up with his help, your heart can’t help but flutter, the feeling of his warm hand encompassing yours turning you mushy like dough.

“Seriously?” You can’t help but scoff, and beside you Jungkook lets go of your hand to feign an offended face. “What! You said you liked Call of Duty!” Jungkook defends himself and you stare blankly at the venue of your first official date with Jeon Jungkook.

The baby pink blankets that adore his couch look inviting, so do the various snacks on the coffee table but still, this was your first date. You had really expected him to go all out and take you to dinner at a classy restaurant. And then maybe have ended with a drumline playing on a bridge. Ok, maybe that was too much.

This doesn’t mean that you’re disappointed, though. Nope. This- a date on Jungkook’s couch with Call of Duty and snacks- was perfectly fine. Great, even. You finally crack a smile, nudging his shoulder and muttering a ‘Just kidding.’ under your breath when his face turns sad.

You grab his arm and sit on the couch, patting the space beside you for him to occupy as you shuffle through the unhealthy packs of chips and nachos to find your favorite one. Jungkook grabs a drink and you shuffle under the soft blanket, curling up and look at Jungkook, trying to act cute as you prepare to embarrass yourself.

“Cuddle with me?” Jungkook almost spits his drink out, surging forward as his head turns towards your direction you’re positive he gets whiplash. “W-What-Did you..” Nodding, you try pouting but know for a fact that it looks more awkward than cute and huff out, “Just-” Jungkook nods suddenly, “Ok.” and gets under the covers. Your face heats up when you finally realise that you just asked The Jeon Jungkook™ to cuddle with you, and as he ever so slowly crawls towards you, your body turns stiff.

“I-Is this okay?” Jungkook hovers his hand over your waist and as you look at him with wide eyes, you nod lightly, indicating the green signal, his body heat not helping at all. Jungkook’s soft voice filters through your ears, and you swear you could listen to him forever. Even if he was making fun of your obsession with hard peaches. Yes.

“We can watch a movie if you want..and then play COD?” he suggests and you mumble out a “Sure” and watch as he picks up the remote to scroll through the various apps whose subscriptions he had.

He pauses at Netflix. “Can we watch Full House?” his voice is timid, and you turn to furrow your eyebrows at him, wondering why he would seem hesitant while asking that. Everyone loved Michelle.

“Why not?” At your words, Jungkook’s eyes light up and he smiles widely, turning towards the TV to play the show.

You rip open a packet of Cheetos and Jungkook tries (keyword: tries) to slyly wrap his arm around you from behind but doesn’t go unnoticed, and you move forward for him to easily slide his arm around you, not even bothering to look at his red face because there’s a really high chance that you’ll combust.

2 episodes into the new season, you turn to Jungkook and he notices, eyebrows raised as you gulp,

“I think I like you too.”

“That would’ve been really romantic if your Cheetos breath wasn’t hitting my face.”

epilogue

“Yesss, get it Kook!” Jungkook comes running up to you and you slap his arm in enthusiasm. He hugs you, tight, and your arms wrap around his body as well, congratulating him in his victory. His last hit had been a smash, one his opponent hadn’t been able to defend and the match had indeed with your school winning, the trophy yours for the third time in a row.

“We won.” The words coming out of Jungkook’s mouth urge you to hug him tighter, and you do, nodding although he probably can't see you. “We did.” Your boyfriend lets go of you to embrace his teammates and you laugh with all of them, and when your eyes meet Jungkook’s, realise that he may not be as bad as you first thought him to be.

tysm for reading whatever the fuck this is <3 send in feedback, if you want!

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floatinginwords · 4 years ago

Text

Saved by the Devil (12/?) - Tommy Shelby

Summary: One week before Epsom you or tommy can get your minds off one another

Paring: Tommy Shelby x fem!reader (romantic)

A/N: sorry it took so long for me to post this chapter. this semester is just killing me. i really hate online school dude. oh and fair warning i did not proof read this so there might be mistakes please be forgiving towards them. Hope you enjoy and have a fantastic night.

One week before Epsom. A lot was going through your head as time seem to go faster and faster. Tommy hadn’t called you or seen you since you were last in Birmingham.

‘Probably busy with May’ you thought to yourself. You rolled your eyes as you recount her giggles and flirtatious behavior.

“What was that?” Trinity asks. You almost forgot she was in the same room as you. You almost forgot you were in her house. Giving her the last of what you needed for when you were ready to runaway from the country.

“Sorry, just thinking.” You say, going back to sipping your tea.

“Okay, is there anything else I need to worry about or hide for you.”

“Well hopefully I wont need to have so many fake ids, and I can get a legitimate one.” You say sighing.

“Hows that going?”

“Its going.” You say, though you weren’t really sure if helping Thomas Shelby ensured you for what you wanted. Its why you had a backup plan. You always did.

“When are you leaving, (Y/n)?” Trinty asks.

“next Friday hopefully.”

Trinitys eyes almost pop out of their socket. “That soon?!”

You nod. Right after Epsom you were gone. You needed to make quick moves and this one seemed the quickest and smartest. You were starting to recognize faces on trains and buses. Men were following you. You didn’t know who these men were and why they casually followed you places but it helped you make an important decision that it was time to leave. And soon.

“What are you gonna do about Thomas Shelby?”

“What about him?”

She wiggles her eyebrows at you.

“No.” You say.

“oh cmon, you want him a little bit at least.”

“Not even.” You lie.

“Oh cmon he calls you and you rush to him like a puppy and vice versa. Ada told me that when she called him when you were missing he dropped everything to help you, even rushed over himself.” She says

“Trinity please drop it. Hes just someone good to have around.”

“Yea he is.” She says suggestively.

“No.” You say but the two of you end up giggling at Trinity’s antics as you enjoy the rest of your afternoon.

Thomas Shelby stares across at the empty seat that not too long ago held a sitting Grace. It felt like years since he had seen her. And he thought that the same emotions from before, from every other time he saw her would brew back up and he’d be in love with her again. But as she talked about America and her new husband all he could see was the woman who betrayed him and his family. She left, nothing happened between them, though it easily could have. He sits and thinks about the woman in his life. He thinks about Greta how he held her hand as he died, Grace the way she had made him smile for the first time in years and then broke hi heart as if it was the first time ever, May who was charming but he knew he would never talk to her after (seeing as he was only using her). And there was you. No amount of words can describe you accurately. They wouldn’t do you justice. Tommy smiles as he recalls the last time he saw you. The flustered look as he said the word ‘date’ as you left the pub. Polly had demanded answers on what he was doing with you. Which he calmly replied, “Business pol, don’t worry about it.” He saw the tension between the two of you when he had walked in. He knew that polly would grow to love and trust you the more she got to know you. You were just that type of person.

Without thinking he picks up the phone, calling adas house. Lucky for him, its you that picks up.

“hello?”

“(Y/n).”

“Mr.Shelby. Are you calling for Ada?”

“No, I was calling for you. How do you feel about Charlie Chaplin?”

*******************************************************************************************

It was only two hours ago when you had gotten back from Trinitys when the phone rang in you and Adas shared house. You picked up naturally not expecting to hear the sweet deep voice of Thomas Shelby. He had invited you out, which you accepted without thinking. He had picked you up in a car after telling you to dress nice which you did finding a dress you never worn. It was a lovely shade of green. A pity for it to go waste.

You kept telling yourself its just business as you applied a bit of lipstick to your lips. Its just business you think as you rush down the stairs when you see his car pull up in front. Its just business you think as you open the door and see him standing there looking amazing.

“You look exquisite.” He says And a thought sneaks up through the cracks of your mind, ‘its not just business.’

When the two of you arrive at the party, the two of you have a grand time as you mingle with famous people and eat little appetizers on plates. You ignore the drinks and the bar not wanting to get drunk.

“Would you care for a dance?” He asks you. The two of you were sat at a table when a slow song comes on and all the couples rush to the floor.

“I’m afraid to say that I’m not much of a dancer.” You say embarrassed by your lack of skill.

“Im sure we can remedy that with some practice.” He smiles, taking your hand and leading you away. And you cant help but follow entranced by the way he guides you and holds you gently. The music is lovely and awfully romantic. You look everywhere else but his eyes. Knowing that you’d just end up lost within them. You watch the couples dancing, wondering which ones were in love or not. You stumble a bit as you attempt to not step on his toes. You do a good job at following his lead although you’re incredibly stiff.

“Hey, are you okay?” Thomas voice breaks you from your thoughts. You lock eyes a time seems to stop. For a moment you think he’s gonna kiss you.

He continues speaking, “C’mon lets get out of here.”

The two of you head back to tommys, the silence comfortable. Though you didn’t have anything to drink, you feel drunk off his presence. You wish now that you have talked to Trinity or Ada about your conflicting feelings because at this moment as you sit down again on his couch you had no idea how to act.

“So Epsom…are you ready?” He says

“As ready as ill ever be.”

“You’ll be there right?”

“Of course. I said I would.”

Another smile falls on to his face as he moves to his vinyl, playing a record that was on it. He holds hi hand out again like at the party.

“What are you doing?” You ask

“Asking to dance, do you not want the practice.”

You smirk and grab his hand. He pulls you in closer than before. His hand resting on your hip and his other hand intertwined with your hand. Again you try to look away from him but then fingers guide your chin to his eyes.

“Keep your eyes on me.” He says.

And you do. And for a moment you feel this gravitational pull. You see him lean forward; you close your eyes. And then…

RING the phone rings terribly through the apartment,

“Fuck,” he mutters the edge of his lips barely brushing over yours, he leans back, “stay right here.” He leaves to pick up the phone.

You take a deep shaky breath as he leave you standing by yourself. You hear him pick up the phone and quietly talk into the receiver end of it. You sit down on the couch replaying what just happened in your head. Your heart beats fast against your skin and you know no doubt that your flustered as can be. You sit to catch your breath and hopefully steady your beating heart.

Two small knocks on the door. You think to get Tommy but he sounds aggravated you decide to not bother him. You open the door yourself revealing a beautiful blond woman. You blink confused of what she could want, she looks at you equally confused.

“Hi is tommy here,” her Irish accent is clear as day, “You know what never mind that I just need to get something real quick.”

She pushes pass you and goes immediately to the couch digging her hand through the cushions. She pulls out a ring and sighs in relief.

“Imagine going home without this.” She says to you.

“Im sorry I-“ You finally find the words to speak but she interrupts you.

“Its okay he probably didn’t tell you. Im grace. I was here a couple hours ago. he’s always been one to move on fast.” She says with a tone of disapproval as she looks up and down at you.

“Did you meet Chaplin? Hes one of my favorite actors.” Grace continues.

You feel scrutinized under her gaze. She walks past you with a smile. She knows her words cut you deep even if you don’t show it.

“Tell Tommy I said bye. Enjoy your time.” And then she’s gone.

You stand in the same spot by the door. You finally met grace. The one he was with a year ago. The one he named his horse after, the one he kept unopened letters, the one he didn’t like talking about. She was here and she was beautiful. Were you just a second choice for him? And easy get since he couldn’t have what he wanted?

“(y/n) why are you standing by the door?” you hear tommys voice from behind you.

“I think I should go home,” Before he can ask why, you answer that question, “Grace came by.”

“(y/n)..”

“No this is good before we do something stupid, right?” You say trying to laugh it off, though on the inside your hurting.

“Lets talk about this..”

“Mr. Shelby we’re both drunk and not thinking clearly”

“You haven’t been drinking all night and I’m as sober as I’ve ever been.”

You shake your head, “Why did you bring me out tonight? Was it cause she said no?”

“I-I” For the first time Thomas Shelby was at a loss for words.

You sigh, “Ill see you at Epsom, Mr.Shelby”

And then you left.

Read pt.13

Tags

@babylooneytoonz @captivatedbycillianmurphy @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat @evelyn-4034 @ms-dont-care @owenniasstars @shikin83 @lauren-raines-x

#tommy shelby x reader #Tommy Shelby #Peaky Blinders #peaky blinder fanfic #Saved by the devil fic #fanfic

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latetaektalk · 4 years ago

Text

love of my life | myg

“yoongi was always there for you, was always by your side, was always your rock to lean onto. he was the love of your life, but at one point, you had to come to accept reality and realise that some things come to an end.”

genre: established-relationship!au, heavy angst, fluff that hurts, grieving, pain, a lot of crying

pairing: yoongi x reader

word count: 6.989

warnings: mentions of character death, character death, reader isnt doing well in this, funeral, mention of sick characters, swearing, i dont know what else to tag this so please tell me if there is anything missing!!

playlist: dancing with your ghost - sasha sloan, now that you’re gone - lewis ross, hindenburg lover - anson seabra, just asking - aquilo

a/n: uh, this is a different from what i usually write and ive been trying to figure out how to execute this for months. i dont know how else to write this and im really not sure about the way i executed it, but i dont think i can improve this really? ive been sitting on this for months so i really just need to get it out at this point lol also yoongi and reader call each other toulouse and berlioz from the film aristocats!

The words danced in front of your eyes, bled together and even when you shook your head, you couldn’t decipher them. It was like they were taunting you, playing hide and seek with you and after another second, you gave up trying to read them altogether.

You let the notebook fall shut and land on the counter of the sink. With your hands, you held onto the edge of it. You looked at yourself in the mirror.

A pair of unfamiliar eyes stared back at you and you were about to turn your head to them and give them a smile, a smile that was meant to tell them that it was okay and to not cry anymore, but then you realised you were looking at yourself.

The fluorescent lights of this big bathroom brought out the harsh edges and lines of your face and made you look like a shell of a person. Your eyes were dark, empty and your skin looked grey, ashy almost.

You looked lifeless.

Your throat tightened painfully into a knot and you quickly averted your gaze, settling to stare into the sink instead. A shaky breath slipped past your lips and you could feel a shudder run down your spine. Your knuckles turned white, so white that they almost tore through your skin as you gripped tighter around the edge of the counter.

“Toulouse.”

You would have recognised his voice even if you had been deaf, would have recognised his voice even if the sky came crashing down on you and the world was screaming at you.

Your eyes locked with Yoongi’s in the mirror and almost immediately the corners of your lips started to turn up. There was just something so comforting about simply looking at him, something so calming.

“Berlioz,” you breathed out, blinking at him.

Yoongi was leaned against the wall next to the door of the bathroom and your gaze travelled down his form, admiring the perfectly tailored black suit he was donning. There was something so effortless about him, something so calming, something so familiar. His usual watch was strapped around his wrist and you wanted to tell him just how good he looked, but the words wouldn’t form on your tongue.

Yoongi didn’t seem to care even a little bit that he was standing in a women’s bathroom and that he would definitely get into trouble if he were to be caught. Instead of being warry, he looked as relaxed as ever.

“You okay?”

If you were completely honest, you didn’t remember or notice Yoongi walking in, but you were to blame for it. Your mind was just clouded, so clouded that you barely registered your surroundings anymore.

“Yeah, no, I’m okay,” you mumbled and watched Yoongi tilt his head at you and eye you through narrow slits.

“Are you sure?” Yoongi asked and folded his arms in front of his chest like he was questioning you, a deep knit forming between his brows.

“Yeah, of course,” you said a little too fast. It sounded rehearsed and Yoongi noticed, eyes softening at the sight of the tight smile etched onto your lips. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

There was a moment of silence, a moment where Yoongi and you just stared into each other’s eyes and deep down you knew exactly what he was telling you, but you refused to acknowledge it, refused to admit the truth.

“Okay,” Yoongi breathed, nodding before pushing off the wall and walking over to you. When he stopped next to you, you watched him flip open the notebook, finger tracing the first page like he had never seen it before.

“To: Min Yoongi aka Berlioz,” Yoongi whispered, reading out the first line of the page before moving on to the next line. “From: Y/L/N Y/N aka Toulouse,” he read the last line, “Happy Birthday!”

You stared at the letters in front of you, stared at the words you had written down in the notebook many moons ago before you gave Yoongi this notebook as a birthday present and slowly the smile melted off your face.

“Not really accurate anymore, is it?” Yoongi chuckled before flipping open the next page to be only met with your handwriting again.

“You said I could have it,” you mumbled and Yoongi’s smirk grew at your words before he closed the notebook and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you flush against his chest. You wanted to protest for a second, tell him you were going to wrinkle his beautiful black suit, but the words died in your throat.

It was just too nice, too comforting to say something and you needed this, needed this hug. And Yoongi knew it before you did.

You essentially melted in Yoongi’s arms and wrapped your own around him, holding him close to you because you never wanted this hug to end, never wanted to pull away from Yoongi, never wanted to let him go.

“It’s gonna be fine,” Yoongi whispered into your ear and you could feel his breath ghost through your hair. Your arms tightened around him at his words and your eyes fell shut as you rested your head against his chest.

“You’re gonna get through this all,” Yoongi continued and his lips skimmed the crown of your head lightly, “I know you can do this, Toulouse.”

“It just hurts, Berlioz,” you whispered quietly, voice breaking when you finally admitted the truth, when you finally admitted to yourself and to him that you weren’t okay. “It hurts so incredibly much.”

At this point, you just wanted to forget, forget the last couple of days, forget everything that had happened. Deep down, however, you knew that it was the wrong thing to do, that you actually needed to move on, but right now that felt impossible.

Right now you felt like your world was burning up, falling apart, crumbling in front of your feet. You wanted to do something, stop it all, but you were beaten and lying on the dirty floor.

Yoongi hummed and placed his chin on top of your head, rocking you back and forth.

“But you know what to do when it hurts, right?” Yoongi asked, his voice resembling a quiet whisper more than anything else. It was so quiet, so quiet like it was barely there.

Your lips formed a harsh thin line before you swallowed and buried your face deeper into Yoongi’s neck because, of course, you knew, but you didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to think about it for even a second.

“I know,” you said softly, recalling the words Yoongi had said when you had first admitted to him that you were starting to fall apart, that you were starting to crumble underneath all of the pressure, that you were starting to lose yourself in all of the pain.

“You can do it,” Yoongi said and his arms tightened around you like he wanted to give you some strength. “I know right now it seems almost impossible, but trust me, you can do this.”

Tears started building up behind your eyes and you had to bite down on your tongue to stop them from spilling, but you knew it wasn’t going to work out for long.

The pain was just too much, eating you alive, gutting you inside out, leaving you empty and in pain. You didn’t feel human anymore, barely felt anything anymore except for the numbing pain and you knew that a part of you had died, had died the last few days.

“You’re so incredibly strong and amazing and great,” Yoongi mumbled into your ear, words cutting so deep into you that you teared up again and you felt brought down to your knees. “And there’s nothing you can’t do and this is no different.”

“Every day is a new start, an opportunity to get back up on your feet and fight through it all,” Yoongi continued, words slipping off his tongue with ease like he had prepared these words before. “And I know it’s hard and that nothing seems fair right now, but — and it sucks to admit it — that is just life.

“But don’t let life beat you up, don’t let life tear you down, don’t let life reduce you to nothing, don’t let life stop you and hold you back.”

The tears spilled down your cheeks, running down the same path other tears had run down before. You could taste the salt on the tip of your tongue, could taste the pain and hurt on the tip of your tongue and you wanted to throw up.

“Because you’re incredible, Toulouse.”

The walls you had built up, the facade of being okay fell apart right in front of you. It all crumbled into dust, but Yoongi didn’t judge you for it. Instead, he let you cry out your eyes and kept providing you with the strength you were missing.

Yoongi and you hugged each other for seemingly forever and it was only because Yoongi’s phone went off that you two pulled apart. It stopped after just a second—almost like it wasn’t there at all.

When Yoongi checked his phone, you knew, knew he had to step out and call back. He always had to, without fail.

“Always so busy,” you mumbled with a hint of a smile playing on your lips.

You weren’t mad, by now you were used to it, used to work constantly calling him, used to him needing to call back even if it was two in the morning.

“When you’re as smart as me, people are just always demanding for your attention,” Yoongi laughed with a smile and you rolled your eyes at his words.

“Yeah, you’re so smart,” you snorted and Yoongi grinned at you.

“A genius you might even say,” Yoongi continued before winking at you. You almost bursted out into laughter and it felt so good to talk about something else for once. Only Yoogi could ever make you feel this way, make you feel this way when you were on the brink of falling apart, make you feel this way in mere seconds, make you feel genuinely happy.

“Self-proclaimed genius.”

Now, it was Yoongi’s turn to roll his eyes at you, but both of you had grins pulling on the corners of your lips.

“Please, I’m a genius and you know it.”

“God, you’re so arrogant,” you sighed and Yoongi laughed at your words before sighing and letting silence settle between him and you.

Yoongi and you looked at each other and even though neither of you were speaking, both of you said so much to each other in the silence. You knew what he was thinking and he knew what you were thinking.

“I’m so-”

“It’s fine, Berlioz,” you cut in before Yoongi could apologise and placed your hand on his chest, giving it a light pat. “Do your thing. Call back.”

Yoongi looked at you for a moment before he let his lips split into a smile.

“Thank you,” Yoongi said softly, hand wrapping around your wrist before he brought your hand up to his lips and pressed the softest and lightest kiss on your knuckles. “You’re the best.”

And for the first time, you genuinely smiled and it was all because of Yoongi, all because he was smiling at you too.

“Toulouse.”

“Berlioz.”

Yoongi gave your hand one last squeeze before he turned on his heel and walked out to call back work. You turned to your notebook again, fingers tracing the edge of the hardcover.

When you heard the door behind you click open, you whipped your head around. You were about to ask Yoongi if he forgot something, but then your eyes locked with Miyeon’s. Almost immediately you looked away and turned to the sink like you were busy with it.

You could hear Miyeon step inside the bathroom and you begged for her to just go into one of the many stalls, begged for her to walk past you without talking to you, but you should have known now that things never worked out the way you wanted them to.

“Y/N,” Miyeon started and you hated the way she said your name, hated the fact that she was talking to you at all. You were praying that Yoongi was going to come back in, was going to come in again even though this was the women's restroom and just rescue you, save you from Miyeon, but, of course, that was wishful thinking.

You screwed your eyes shut for a second, letting your head hang as you drew in a much-needed breath. Slowly you peeled your eyes open and met Miyeon’s gaze in the mirror.

Her face was contorted into what could only be described as pity and you wanted nothing more than to turn on your heel and storm out, but you couldn’t, couldn’t because you were too tired and exhausted to.

“I’m sorry,” Miyeon said and your eyes began to travel down her form in an attempt to distract yourself a little. Like you, she was wearing a simple black dress that ended just above her knees. The sleeves were a little long on her and you knew she had bought it in a hurry, just like you had with your dress.

Her words echoed on the walls of the big bathroom and you could feel them haunt you as they bounced around and filled the air.

“I’m so incredibly sorry,” Miyeon kept going and tore her gaze away from you. Her fingers started to fiddle with each other in front of her stomach and she shuffled on her feet as your silence continued on.

You knew you should interrupt her and tell her that it was fine, that you appreciated her words and whatnot, but you didn’t, didn’t appreciate them and at this point, you didn’t give a fuck about formalities.

“I can’t imagine- can’t imagine how hard this must be for you right now,” Miyeon mumbled and her words were obviously chosen very carefully. “Your dad-”

Before Miyeon could finish her sentence, the door to the bathroom flew open again and both of you whipped your head around to see who it was. For a whole second, you thought it was Yoongi, but then you were disappointed a second time today.

The woman who had just entered looked flustered, almost embarrassed when her eyes landed on Miyeon and you, clearly realising that she had interrupted something.

Miyeon stared at her with big eyes and at that moment, you grabbed your notebook and pressed it close to your body. When Miyeon looked at you to say something, you shook your head and spoke your first words and only words to her today.

“I’ll see you outside,” you mumbled and your voice was barely above a whisper. If it had been just a little louder in this bathroom or if your words hadn’t echoed on the walls, Miyeon wouldn’t have heard you.

You hoped you wouldn’t, wouldn’t have to see her again.

You pushed past Miyeon and the woman caught up rather quickly that you just wanted to get out, jumping out of your way like she was scared you would yell at her if she didn’t move fast enough. The door felt heavy as you heaved it open and it took you seemingly everything to get it to simply budge.

“Y/N,” Miyeon started again, but instead of turning your head around or responding, you let the door behind you fall shut and tell Miyeon exactly what you were thinking.

You stepped into the big empty lobby and your eyes scanned every corner, swallowing heavily as chills ran down your spine. There was just something so uncomfortable, alarming, heavy about this room, about the number of flowers that decorated it and centred around those two big doors.

Frantically you searched for Yoongi and seemingly out of thin air, your eyes locked with Yoongi’s across the room. Unlike the time when your eyes had met with Miyeon’s, you felt relief wash through you and your heart quicken in your chest in the best way possible.

The corners of your lips turned up slightly and you started moving towards Yoongi. Your grip around your notebook tightened as you walked towards him.

Yoongi waited for you, standing in front of those grossly decorated doors . Only a few metres separated you from him when the two big doors got pushed open and you came to a screeching halt.

“Y/N!” your mother called out when she saw you and Yoongi stepped away when she started making her way to you. Without sparing Yoongi much of a glance, your mother walked towards you.

You knew she hadn’t done it on purpose and that the last couple days had obviously been rough on her as well if the circles underneath her eyes were anything to go by, but it still bothered you and certain words danced on the tip of your tongue.

When you were about to notify your mother of Yoongi’s presence, he shook his head at you and gave you a look you knew just how to interpret.

“I was looking for you, darling,” your mother whispered when she reached you and combed through your hair, fingers tucking your curls back into place. “Where were you?”

You were too busy communicating silently with Yoongi to answer your mother and when she couldn’t take your silence any longer, she turned her head around and sighed before looking back at you.

“Honey,” your mother started again and Yoongi nodded towards your mother, telling you to focus on her instead of him. Your eyes flickered to her and she was already staring up at you.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Yoongi shove his hands into his pockets and you knew he was going to wait, wait silently until your mother and you had finished up talking.

“Where have you been?”

“I- I was just in the bathroom,” you shrugged and your mother frowned a little. It was then that you noticed just how much deeper her lines had gotten and you knew your father’s diagnosis was to blame.

“Okay, but please tell someone the next time before you just walk away. You scared me,” your mother mumbled and you simply nodded. The words of your mother barely registered in your mind and she knew they didn’t, but she didn’t say anything,

Your mother looked down at your hands and pried the notebook out of your grasp before you could protest. You were on the edge of snapping at her, telling her not to take it from you when she continued.

“Why is it wet?” your mother said, looking at her hand before using the sleeve of her black dress to swipe across your notebook. You quickly took it out of her hand and dried it yourself on your own black dress.

“I put it next to the sink,” you said and held onto it tighter this time, not wanting your mother to take it out of your hand one more time.

“Oh, okay,” your mother breathed and there was this uncomfortable silence hanging between you two. You watched as your mother’s eyes wandered all over your face, but they never locked with your eyes. It was like she didn’t know how to interact with you anymore and you didn’t blame her.

Your mother timidly took a hold of your hand like she was scared you would swat her hand away, lacing her fingers with yours before she tugged on it.

“Come,” your mother started and her voice was barely above a whisper. “We have to get back inside.”

Your gaze landed on Yoongi and when he nodded, you budged and followed your mother. Yoongi smiled at you, assuring you with that simple smile it was going to be fine.

Your mother led you to the two big doors and Yoongi silently followed you two. Again, your mother just walked past him and unlike you, he didn’t mind. He just fell into step with you and stayed by your side as your mother opened the door.

So far you hadn’t walked inside yet and when you saw the room that was hidden by those two big doors, your heart sank into your stomach. A second later, it started to beat out of your chest and you stopped dead in your tracks after barely crossing the doorway. The doors behind you pushed you forward a little when they closed behind you, but you didn’t care, eyes roaming the big room.

There were so many people, so many people you recognised and also didn’t recognise and they were all staring at you, focusing on you. Even though everybody was wearing black clothes like you, you felt like you stuck out like a sore thumb.

A painful knot lodged itself into your throat and you could feel your breath labouring. Your eyes shot from one side of the other room to the other and you struggled to find a focus point.

Your world started to crumble in front of you again, started to go up in flames and you were certain that the pain would rip you apart, crush your heart into dust.

Your mother looked at you through tears and you wanted to yank your hand out of her grasp and bolt and never look back, but you felt too weak to even do that. When you shuffled back, your shoes hit the door and your heart quickened immediately.

Anxiety bubbled up in your stomach and you felt like you couldn’t breathe, felt like there was somebody suffocating you, felt like you were going to faint any second, but before everything could spiral into something much worse, Yoongi intervened.

“Toulouse,” he whispered into your ear, his hand landing on the small of your back. “Breathe.”

You did as he said, took a deep breath and after a few seconds, you started to feel okay, started to feel somewhat fine again. Your mother’s hand tightened around yours during it all and you squeezed back when you felt like you were capable to.

Yoongi smiled next to you before giving you a light push, prompting you to start walking away. Your mother immediately led you to the front, past all of the people.

You knew about half of them and half of that half you would even call your own friends, but right now you were so focused on breathing and surviving this that you walked past them without sparing them a single glance, just like your mother hadn’t spared Yoongi a single one.

It didn’t take you long to realise that your mother was aiming for the front and it was then that you saw the gap in the first bench, obviously reserved for you.

“Come,” your mother whispered before sitting down, hand tightening around yours like she was afraid you were going to bolt.

You sat down on the wooden bench and Yoongi filled up the space next to you, finishing up the bench of people. When you sat down, you didn’t let go off your mother’s hand and instead held it tighter, feeling like you were getting lost again.

Your notebook landed in your lap and finally, you let your fingers slip into Yoongi’s. He wrapped his hand around yours, but his fingers felt cold around yours. Usually, you would have pulled away, but this time you didn’t care.

If you had looked down the line, looked down the bench, you would have recognised each and every face, would have realised that they all had come to pay their respects.

You knew you shouldn’t, but it was hard to resist the temptation. It wasn’t like you had given it. Instead, you had just slipped into it and done it, just turned your head around to study the room.

The room was split in the middle by an aisle and on each side, there were rows of benches, almost all of them were filled with people, people dressed in black on this bittersweet day. The sun poured in from the windows, but instead of giving everybody a warm glow, it casted dark shadows and painful contrasts.

Your eyes wandered to the front and it was then that you first saw it, actually saw it. You had heard people talk about it, debate which one was the right one, but you had always been too exhausted, too exhausted to chime in.

Upon seeing it, you knew it was the wrong one.

The casket was black, a rich black with sharp corners and there was just something so scary about it, something so uncomfortable and wrong. It didn’t do him justice, didn’t represent who he really was to the core.

You tore your gaze away, not wanting to spare the abomination that was the choice of this casket any longer any attention and instead your eyes landed on the picture next to it. When you saw it, your heart cracked into dust and the air was knocked out of your lungs.

You almost doubled over at its sight, unable to look at it longer than for a second.

You couldn’t get it out of your head even though you had ripped your gaze away. Tears blurred your vision, but the picture was very much imprinted in your mind. After all, you had taken it when you had attempted to get into photography a long time ago.

He was smiling and looking to the side. The sun had just begun to set and given him this angelic glow. His eyes had reflected perfectly in the light, but your photo barely captured the light and love and hope that had always sparkled in his eyes.

You didn’t remember what you had done on that day anymore, but you remembered how you had felt, how he had made you feel on that day and every other day you had the pleasure of spending time with him.

Bliss and Love.

Without fail, he had always made you feel the happiest and most loved person alive and words couldn’t even begin to capture how thankful you were.

And so it hurt so much more to see his picture up there. It hurt so much more to know that he was in this casket that was supposed to hold what was once him for the rest of eternity. It hurt so much more to realise that he wasn’t going to be with you anymore.

It hurt so much more to come to the conclusion that it was in vain to hold onto the pieces of him.

You had to let go.

“Honey,” your mother whispered into your ear, shaking you a little to rip you out of your thoughts. You snapped your head around and stared at her with big eyes. “It’s your turn.”

When your mother nodded to the front, you realised that you had missed it, missed all of the other people speaking, missed half of the service already.

You let go of your mother’s and Yoongi’s hand and swiped across your cheeks, catching the tears that had almost spilled. You held onto your notebook that was burning through your dress and into your legs, leaving scars on your skin and it hurt so much, but you couldn’t let go of it, couldn’t even if you wanted to.

Your mother gave you a nod when you turned to her and when you looked at Yoongi, he smiled at you and mouthed a single word.

Toulouse.

You wanted to return it, say your part, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say it quite yet.

With shaky legs and buckling knees, you stood up and made your way to the front with your notebook clutched close to your chest like it was a shield.

When you reached the front and put down your notebook on the podium and looked into the audience for the first time, you thought you were going to collapse. Your heart had stopped beating all together after it had pounded so quickly and with such force that it couldn’t catch up with itself anymore.

Your eyes scanned the audience and you swallowed heavily. Maybe it was because you hadn’t slept properly in days or maybe it was because tears were brimming your eyes again, but all of the faces started to blur together.

The second your gaze met Yoongi’s, however, you were brought back to reality. You noticed the eerie silence and you knew everybody was waiting for you to say something.

Somehow you managed to flip your notebook open, fingers tracing the edge of the first page as you read the words you had written down before giving this notebook to Yoongi as a gift.

It was stupid because you knew the words by heart, but you needed to read them just once more before starting, needed to read them to yourself like a mantra before you would start speaking.

When your eyes flickered to Yoongi for a second, he knew. He knew what you were looking at and he gave you a smile. Only you two could recognise the importance of those lines.

To: Min Yoongi aka Berlioz. From: Y/L/N Y/N aka Toulouse. Happy Birthday!

With a shaky breath, you turned to the page you had bookmarked a few hours ago when you had written all of this down in the middle of the night after forcing yourself to.

Unlike the last time when you had looked at the words, they weren’t dancing in front of your eyes anymore, weren’t bleeding together anymore, weren’t playing hide and seek with you anymore. You could read them, decipher them now.

With another heavy and shaky breath, you opened your mouth and looked up from your notebook.

“I’m going to be honest I don’t know how to do this, how to eulogise.”

Yoongi and you locked eyes.

“Usually, I would have asked him how to because he was the smart one out of us two. God, he was so smart. Truly the smartest person I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.”

Tears threatened to build up in your eyes and a lump started to grow in your throat, but you swallowed it all down.

“Around him I always felt a little dumb, but I think everybody did.”

A quiet laugh travelled through the rows and people nodded, but you kept your gaze on Yoongi, not wanting to look away for even a second.

“He was always, without fail, the smartest person in the room. Somehow, he always knew everything about anything, always knew what to say. He always knew best, knew better than anybody else.”

It was then that you realised that you didn’t need to read the words. You already knew them because they came from your heart.

You kept staring at Yoongi through tears, but even then you could see him clearly. You noticed the angelic glow around him, noticed how the sun complimented his beauty and his beauty only.

It wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair that Yoongi was still the most beautiful person amongst this crowd of people, wasn’t fair that he was the only one with an angelic glow around him, wasn’t fair that only his beauty was highlighted by the sun.

It wasn’t fair how ethereal and surreal Yoongi was.

“He was truly a genius.”

Yoongi smiled at your words, but at the same time, you could see the tears build up in his eyes.

“I always liked to say that he was only a self-proclaimed genius, but I think everybody knows that he was definitely not. So please, don’t tell him I called him a genius. He’d totally get a kick out of it.”

Another quiet laugh.

“And because I don’t know how to do this, don’t know how to properly eulogise and I cannot ask him, I’m going to ask for everybody's forgiveness because this will not be good. We all know he would do a much better job at this than I am- I ever could. We all know he would find the right words because he always did, always knew what to say.

“I promise everybody here that this will be awful, the worst eulogy- attempt of a eulogy, attempt of doing him justice anyone of you will ever hear because admittedly I am not quite ready.”

Your voice cracked as you struggled to form the next words, as you struggled to bring yourself to say them. And it took you an eternity to force yourself to continue.

“Not quite ready to say goodbye.”

Yoongi swallowed and the tears started to almost spill, run down his cheeks.

You knew that Yoongi was probably only crying because it pained him to see you on the verge of tears, pained him to see you say goodbye to him, pained him to see you have such a hard time letting go of the last pieces of him, pained him to see you come to the realisation that he wasn’t real, that he was all in your imagination, that he wasn’t here anymore, that he had left earth almost a week ago. Nevertheless, you liked to think that your words brought him to tears, liked to think that you could touch him with your words in a way he usually only managed to touch you.

“But I am going to try, try to say goodbye, say goodbye to him because I know that was what he’d want me to do. I know he wouldn’t want me to hurt, hold onto the pieces of him. I know he would want me to move on.

“So, I will try, will say goodbye to him with this.”

Yoongi started to choke up and so did you, but you fought through it, hands gripping the edge of the podium as you desperately tried to keep it together.

Your eyes continued to bore into Yoongi’s as you fought the hardest fight in your life.

“25 years or 300 months or 9125 days or 219000 hours or 788400000 seconds or simply put, all my life. I’ve known you all my life, spent practically every second of my life with you and, God, I loved every second of it. If I could, I’d wish for more, more time for you, for us. I’d wish for a lifetime for you, with you, a lifetime together so I can love you longer.

“I want to spend every second of the rest of my life listening to you play the piano until you’ve perfected the sonata you’ve been working on for ages, spend every second watching you attempt to make breakfast for us without burning down our kitchen in the morning, spend every second laughing with you until our stomachs hurt and tears brim our eyes and our laughter dies in the silence of the night as we grow tired, spend every second sighing as you go to answer the next work call, spend every second binging ‘Aristocats’ with you until we can both recite every line."

A shaky breath slipped past your lips and Yoongi let the smile fade away and be replaced by a thin line as he tried to swallow the tears and silence the sobs threatening to tear through his throat.

Your voice was weak, barely above a whisper, but you didn’t care. It didn’t matter because only he was supposed to hear.

This was for him and for him only.

“I want to spend every second of the rest of my life loving you.”

Yoongi screwed his eyes shut and you could see him try his hardest not to cry, not to break.

“Because every second I’ve had the honour and pleasure of spending with you, you’ve made me feel just that, made me feel so incredibly loved, loved so deeply that I never knew what to do, loved so unconditionally that I could never thank you enough for it.

“And I want to love you, love you until I can only remember how to love you, love you until my numbered days come to an end, love you so much that I outgrow, outlive my own capacity to love you.”

You paused, biting on your tongue as you swallowed the thick lump that had lodged itself into your throat. It hurt, hurt you so much to do this, but you knew you had to, knew that this was the right thing to do.

“Because you’re incredible.”

Yoongi peeled his eyes open to look right at you and you felt gutted, beaten as you looked into his beautiful eyes.

You let out a breath, sniffling a little before continuing.

“Because you’ve taught me how to open up, how to share, how to empathise, how to be patient, how to listen, how to speak up, how to live.

“But most importantly you taught me how to love.”

A strand fell into your face and you tucked it away, eyes digging further into Yoongi’s.

“And at the same time, you taught me how to dance with tears in my eyes, how to smile with pain ripping through me, how to speak with sobs tearing through my throat, how to live when my world is falling apart, how to buy a notebook and fill it with my own pain, how to be there for my dad through his battle with cancer.

“And I want to promise you my life, want to promise you every little piece of me, but you already have it all. It’s all yours already.”

Even with tears blurring your vision, you could see Yoongi clearly in front of you, could see the pieces of him you were holding onto.

“So, instead I’m going to promise you that every day I will get back up on my feet and fight through it all.

“I’m going to promise you that I will remember all of the lessons you’ve taught me, remember all of the things you muttered quietly in the middle of the night when I couldn’t fall asleep again, remember the words you whispered into my ear when the pain was threatening to rip me apart and consume me whole.”

You licked your lips, voice breaking as the tears continued to roll down your cheeks and stain the pages in front of you. But you didn’t care.

“You can do it. I know right now it seems almost impossible, but trust me, you can do this.”

Yoongi’s teeth sank into his tongue as you recited his words.

“You’re so incredibly strong and amazing and great. And there’s nothing you can’t do and this is no different.

“Every day is a new start, an opportunity to get back up on your feet and fight through it all. And I know it’s hard and that nothing seems fair right now, but—and it sucks to admit it—that is just life.”

The corners of Yoongi’s lips turned up into the tiniest smile as you continued to speak, not needing a single second to think about what to say.

“But don’t let life beat you up, don’t let life tear you down, don’t let life reduce you to nothing, don’t let life stop you and hold you back.”

Your hands tightened around the edge of the podium and you knew if you didn’t hold onto it, you would collapse, your knees would just buckle underneath you.

“Because you’re incredible.”

You pressed your lips into a thin line as you finished reciting Yoongi’s words. He looked at you with this smile on his lips, this bittersweet smile, and you could only mirror it, mirror it because with every word, with every sentence you could feel yourself let go more and more.

There was silence for a few seconds as you caught your breath and pulled yourself together. And if you had looked away for once, if you had taken your eyes off of Yoongi for just a second, you would have realised that everybody else was sobbing already, that you were keeping it together the best.

“You once told me that the average person can remember 10000 faces and recall 5000 of those and if I were ever to fall down the stairs and get amnesia like every girl does in the soap operas we loved to watch and laugh at,” another quiet laugh rippled through the rows, “I will promise you that I will still remember your face. And if my 5000 faces become only one face, it will be your face.”

Yoongi was sobbing alongside the others and you could feel yourself weaken, could feel yourself start to break apart more and more, turn into a weeping mess.

“Yoongi, Berlioz, you might not have been my first kiss or even my first love, but, trust me, you made all of the people before you irrelevant because no one compares to you. You were the only love that truly mattered, you were my one true love, the love of my life.”

Yoongi and you looked at each other and with quivering lips, Yoongi mouthed a single word.

Toulouse.

You smiled.

Berlioz.

Yoongi’s lips split into a bittersweet and painful grin at your response and you remembered it, imprinted it into your mind before you spoke up again,

“I love you, Berlioz.”

You blinked a few times before you closed your eyes. A deep breath filled your lungs as you prepared yourself for it. You whispered the last words and you knew he heard them nevertheless, you just knew,

“Thank you for everything, Yoongi, Berlioz, my genius.”

When you peeled your eyes open again, Yoongi was gone, but that was fine, fine because you got to say your goodbye to him.

You sat down with your notebook close to your heart and this time you didn’t leave space for Yoongi. And when you raised your head, you looked at the picture and saw him.

The love of your life.

→ links don’t work, but don’t forget to message me with any thoughts/feedback! i’d love to hear it!

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luminous-shifting-vibes · 4 years ago

Text

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

#tw drugs #tw swearing #tw cannibalism #tw crime #tw food #tw homophobia #shitpost #out of context #out of context quotes #lumi's quotes

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winterscaptain · 4 years ago

Text

magic.

Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral Hard of Hearing Reader

request from @icantswimhalp: Hi hun! I was hoping you could do a reid fic with a reader who is hard of hearing? It would be really awesome if you did. ❤ a/n: quick disclaimer - i am not d/Deaf or hard of hearing myself, but i do work closely with the d/Deaf community. if anyone has any notes, please send them my way! any errors are my own, and i have done my best to be as accurate and inclusive as possible. rating/words: g / ~1500 no warnings apply!

AO3 | Masterlist | Requests Open!

italics are signs, and anything in “quotes” is spoken aloud.

+++

Your alarm woke you, the flashing light just as offensive as it was every morning. You smacked it until it turned off and sat up, checking your phone. Two text messages from Spencer.

6:18am Got a call into work. Didn’t wanted to wake you. Sleep tight and I’ll update when I can.

10:23am Case is local. We’re still in the office.

You texted him back right away.

10:31am Want me to bring lunch? I can order for the team.

When you stood, you put on your smartwatch. It was a Christmas gift from Spencer, and he had Penelope set it up so it would flash with your alarms. It had an app that could transcribe speech in case you didn’t want to read lips, and you couldn’t deny the convenience of the buzzing feature for your texts.

Slipping your sweats on, you padded to the bathroom and brushed your teeth. Your watch buzzed, and you checked it.

10:33am I’ll send you orders for JJ, Garcia, and Hotch.

The orders that followed were pretty simple – their favorite sandwiches from their favorite sandwich shop on the way to Quantico. The owners knew you by then, as you always tried to feed the BAU when they were working local cases or stuck in the office with piles of paperwork a mile high.

For convenience and time, you slipped your hearing aids on to make the phone call. It wasn’t perfect by any stretch, but anything was better than nothing. They needed to hear you more than the other way around, anyways.

+++

You waved at the owner and her son as you picked up your box. She signed her thanks, and you grinned back at her. She had been exposed to a few signs on the rare occasion that you and Spencer had the opportunity to sit in the little deli and eat at one of the checkered tables.

+++

The security guards on the first floor were more than happy to help you shuffle lunch through the checkpoint, and they may have stolen a few fries from JJ’s meal.

By the time you finally made it up the elevator to the BAU, you’d yanked your hearing aid out and threw it in your purse. The building was far too loud, too busy, and it never failed to give you a headache.

You went to shoulder the glass door open, only to find it held open for you. You smiled at Hotch. With your hands full, you couldn’t sign. You spoke instead.

“Hey, Hotch.”

Hey! How are you? He looked happy to see you, but you knew him well enough to see the strain behind his eyes.

“Good,” you said. “Busy morning. Your lunch is in here. How’s Jack?”

Thank you, he signed, gesturing toward the box. Want help?

You shook your head, and he let you lead the way into the office. When you settled in the kitchen area, he propped himself against the counter and started to sign. You unpacked the box, keeping your eyes on Hotch as he signed.

Jack is good. Doing well in school. He passed his math test last week and will probably be ahead of his classmates next year.

Wonderful, you signed back. Tell him I’m proud of him.

Of course. Come to Dave’s next time we’re all there together. The boys love your stories.

I will, but you’ll need to keep Spencer honest for me so he doesn’t forget. You grinned at him, and he offered a small smile back. Other than Spencer, Hotch was the only confident signer in the unit. You’d become fast friends because of it. Emily was picking it up rather quickly, though she stumbled and got nervous often. Derek was getting better. Last week, he proudly informed you (in adorably broken sign) that he practices with Spencer on the jet on the way home from every case.

Hotch’s gaze tracked up over your shoulder and he raised his eyebrows. You whirled around. Spencer stood in the doorway, a smile on his face and hands in his pockets. You bounced toward him and he brought you into his arms, keeping one of your hands pressed to his chest. You spelled “Hi” into his hand and felt him laugh.

He leaned back and met your eyes. Thank you for bringing lunch. This case is crazy.

Aren’t they all?

Spencer laughed. True.

He taught you a few industry specific signs, but serial killer and family annihilator were your favorites because of the faces Spencer made with them. He walked backwards as he told you a few details about the case – ones he could share, anyways. His sandwich was tucked under his arms so his hands were free, and Hotch trailed behind you with his sandwich and JJ’s.

You sat on his desk and he sat in his chair, your legs hanging over his lap as you ate your lunch. You both had grown out of your aversion to PDA long ago, and were happy to be among your friends for a quick respite. The team always made an effort to regale you with tales of Spencer’s antics in the field whenever possible, and today was no exception.

“And then he looked at me and said ‘I gave the profile to this one woman and she asked me if I was the unsub.’ I just about died,” Derek said, laughing. They all made sure they were facing you when they spoke, so you could read their lips. Without your hearing aids, they were just a dull thrumming. The direction was easy to pick up, but the content was almost lost entirely.

JJ said something, and you knew you missed it before she was finished talking.

You glanced down at Spencer, who was watching JJ. He interpreted.

Spencer did great on that case, Derek. Give him a break.

You reached out and squeezed Spencer’s shoulder. He looked up at you.

Thanks. You leaned over and signed at JJ. Hotch voiced your signs. He better be on his best behavior for all cases. Hotch’s glares look tame compared to mine.

At that, they all laughed and you winked at Spencer. His eyes were more than a little distracting, and you got lost in them for a minute.

Hotch waved his hand at you to get your attention, and you looked up at him. He signed as he spoke, and you relaxed a little, taking a bite of your sandwich. “That was the same case Spencer used magic to find the unsub.”

You barked a laugh around your bite, absolutely delighted. Really? Magic magic or physics magic?

“Magic magic,” Hotch replied.

“Okay that’s not,” Spencer looked up at you, continuing to sign. “That’s not what happened. I had to deliver the profile and –“

“The way he was doing it definitely didn’t work,” Derek said.

So what did you do, really?

You saw Hotch relay your question to the rest of the team.

“Well,” Spencer started, signing as he spoke, “I managed to deliver the profile using a trick that kept the bartender’s attention while I outlined the key features of the unsub. It wasn’t –“ he huffed, “it wasn’t that ridiculous, all things considered.”

“In fairness,” JJ said, making sure to face you more directly so you could see her mouth as she spoke. “Spence has used magic more than once to help with a case. Remember the train?”

Spencer rolled his eyes and dove into the refuge of your arms. You scooted to the edge of the desk and held him to you, brushing his hair back. It was getting longer, and would probably need a cut soon.

You felt him say something against you, the vibration of his voice against your hand drawing your attention. Looking up at Hotch with a frown, he helped you out.

It’s a useful skill, okay?

You laughed, and Spencer held onto you a little tighter.

The team looked up suddenly in response to something. You watched as Hotch pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Hotchner,” you saw him say. After a few seconds, his mouth fell into a grim line.

All at once, the team was in motion. They wrapped their sandwiches and organized their desks, picking up their keys and backpacks on their way. Spencer stood and kissed your forehead, and you took his sandwich off his hands, wrapping it tightly and putting it in your purse.

Spencer stood in front of you as he clipped his gun to his belt. He took your hand and signed with the other.

Sorry.

That’s okay, you replied. Duty calls. Go get the bad guy.

He kissed you, and you leaned into him.

“I love you,” you said quietly against his mouth.

He leaned back and met your eyes. I love you too.

Please be careful.

Spencer grinned at you. Always. He kissed you once more and bolted out of the bullpen behind Derek, who held the door for him. He threw another smile at you over his shoulder, and you waved at the team as the elevator doors closed.

tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @ange-must-die @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @dr-reid-ismyspiritanimal @icantswimhalp @octothorpetopus @hurricanejjareau (i dont have a reid tagging list, so i tagged anyone i thought might like it! let me know if you’d like to be added or subtracted!)

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds x reader #tali writes fanfiction

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chick-from-nz · 4 years ago

Text

Paper, Scissors, Rank (Ch: 9)

CHARACTER/PAIRING: Modern!Carrillo x Army!OC (eventually)

WARNINGS: maybe some swearing, military slang, more military talk, spelling and grammatical errors. Flippy floppy points of view and tenses. Could be very OOC/AU for some. Carrillo may not be narcos accurate as this is an AU. Some OC x OC. awkwardly written moments. Sexual tension. some NSFW content. Mentions of death, child endangerment, TW: car crash.

AUTHORS NOTE: ok so this chapter went a little darkish at the start and then very different at the end. not gonna lie a little bit giddy and proud of this chapter, hope you all enjoy, sorry for the wait between the chapters. would also love to hear any predictions about where the fic may go.

WORD COUNT: 5.5K

CHAPTER: 9 OF ?

TAG LIST (OPEN): @girlpornparadise @1zashreena1 @xxidontwikeitxx @nicke0115 @allalngthewtchtower @lettherebrelight

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~15 years ago~

“Ashlyn honey, come on, we don’t want to be late ” her mother, Teressa, yelled out from the bottom of the stairs, laughing softly to herself when she heard the mad rush of footsteps on the wooden floors before seeing her eight year old daughter running towards her with all her might, only to halt army style and stare up at her with wide eyes. There was not a single soul that could deny the resemblance between the two of them, they shared the striking green eyes and red-brown hair of the Sayer family, both had a boisterous take no shit attitude and the same little quirks and tells when they were upset. Which Teressa could tell was the case with her daughter right this minute. She reached down and pulled her young daughter into her embrace, balancing her on her hip as she made haste towards their car, “what's wrong baby? What’s got you thinking, hmm?”

Ash looked up at her mum, teary eyed and mumbled, “I don’t want daddy to get mad at me, I didn’t mean to hit that boy, he just said some mean things about daddy and I got really angry”. Little sniffles were becoming more and more prevalent as she continued talking, try as she might the little girl couldn’t fathom why people would speak bad about her family, they were all so nice!. She clumsily climbed down from her mum's arms and hopped up into her car seat, clipping her belt before pulling on it dramatically to prove that she was actually clipped in. Ash then let out a small gleeful laugh when her mum bopped her on the nose before walking around the car to get into the driver's seat to start on their journey to the principal's office to find out the punishment for the young girls justified behaviour.

The journey to the school would take longer than necessary, unexpected road closures with no concrete explanations from the officers monitoring the road blocks had forced Teressa to take the back roads and add an extra forty minutes to their already long commute for a Saturday morning. Travelling along generally unused and quiet roads was somewhat of an unusual experience for Ash, having been used to seeing cars passing by every other minute and looking at houses rather than vast open fields. As they passed round a corner, entering a tree lined road with dense forest on either side of them, an unsettling feeling overcame the young mother, there was a strange darkness that clung to the air, setting off alarm bells within. She remained calm as possible as to not alert Ashlynn that something was wrong, as the young girl was far too perceptive for her age, a trait that she had inherited from her fathers side of the family. She glanced back at her daughter, noticing that she was rather quiet, but let out a small sigh of relief when she noted that she had dozed off, head slumped against the panel of the door and her hair covering her face, snoring away softly to herself. It was in this brief moment of distraction that Teressa failed to notice the truck approaching rapidly from behind, when she did she increased her speed well beyond the speed limit, keeping an eye on a sleeping Ash to make sure she didn’t wake up and begin to start asking questions like the curious little thing always did.

As her speed increased the blacked out vehicle behind them only got faster until it was a mere meter behind their car, seeing no other option she pushed the car to its limits, approaching the upcoming intersection at speeds that should terrify her beyond means, but in this moment she was focusing on only one thing, protecting her innocent daughter in the back seat. As she passed through the intersection a scream forced its way from her throat, just through the intersection sat a parked truck blocking the road. Teressa knew she wouldn’t be able to stop in time so she swerved sharply to the right, hearing the screaming of the tires as they went from smooth asphalt to the gravely uneven surface that bordered the edge of the road. The steering of the car locked up, Teressa tried with all her might to get it moving again but was forced to endure the inevitable pain from the collision that was about to happen, with what may be her final words to her daughter she turned to look at Ash, tears filling her eyes when she took in the terrified expression on the young girls’ face, and whispered “I love you baby girl”

When Ash woke up she was sprawled on the grass a few feet from the car, rain was pouring down putting a darker spin on the event occurring. There were people standing around her, albeit a few feet away and semi-huddled together, and something warm was running into her left eye. Reaching up and feeling a thick, sticky substance she pulled her hand down to get a better look, a terrified scream leaving her small body when she noticed her hand washed red with blood. Her scream drew the attention of the people huddled together but they dismissed her without some much as a disgruntled look, they weren’t there for her. Ash glanced around, frightened and searching for her mum, who she found in a heap a meter or so to the left of her. With great difficulty she managed to crawl over to her mum, gathering her head and shaking her when she wouldn’t wake up.

“Mummy please! I’m sorry, no mummy please! Please wake up mummy, I need you” Tears poured from the eyes of the young bruised girl, mixing in with the blood as she desperately tried to wake her mum up. Her little body was exhausted from the effort, shivering from the cold seeping into her bones from the rain, and the toll of the crash began to take effect, she was becoming drowsy, a sure sign of a concussion. Ash felt a small wave of relief was over her when the eyes of her mothers’ met her own, the tears never halted, dripping off her face and landing on the face of her mother, mixing in with the blood that was covering the once beautiful face of her mum, now marred by sliced and bruised flesh. Her mum pulled her head towards herself, pressing a short but meaningful kiss to her forehead before her body began to go limp. “Ashy, darling, hold Mumma close for a little while” the broken voice of her mother rang clear in her ears.

Ash pulled her mums’ head as close to her little chest as possible, crying out and trying with all her might to keep her mum with her till help could arrive. With one last shuddering breath her mother passed, she was gone, no matter how tightly Ash held her. Looking down and seeing the closed eyes of her mother, she panicked, screaming out for the group of people to try and get their attention or at least their help. “Please help me, my mummy won’t wake up! I need my mummy, please help me!”

One of the men started towards her, dressed in clothes very similar to that of her father, before coming to a stop before her. He looked over the child thoughtfully, knowing the orders he was given deemed only that the woman be killed and the girl to be delivered to the hospital in a recoverable state, sighing to himself he reached down and hoisted the girl up and made haste towards one of the trucks.

“Put me down! I want my mummy. Don't take me away from her! MUMMY!!!!” the girl cried and screamed and beat at the man that was carrying her. She didn't understand. Why was the man taking her away from the one good thing in her life. Ash watched as the other men made their way towards her mum, before picking her up and beginning to chain her to the tree. One of the men pulled out a large knife which had the young girl screaming at the top of her lungs, “Leave my mummy alone! Just leave her alone you bully! Dont touch her!” the men just laughed at her, mocking her pitiful cries. She was unceremoniously thrown into the backseat of one of the vehicles, effectively cutting off her view of the men outside.

The young man climbed into the driver's seat, this was his first assignment within the force and he was disgusted by the behaviour of the team. His gaze travelled out the side window just in time to watch the team commander behead the young woman they had just killed, his stomach turned even further when the men began taking turns carving something into the body as they chained her up to the tree and left her there for someone to find. With the signal from his commander he started the car and made haste towards the nearest hospital to get the young, tortured girl seen too as fast as possible, her eyes were drooping and she was beyond pale which scared him. He felt for the young girl, having to go through so much at a young age because of the wrongdoings of her father.

~present~

Ash would never forget the sounds of the crash, the shattering of the glass or the painful scream that left her mothers’ lips the moment before both their worlds went dark that day. The final words of her mother were painfully etched into her memory, a grim reminder of that fateful day, and in tribute to her fallen parent the words “A little weakness goes a long way” were tattooed above her heart, words she stuck to as much as possible.

She sucked in a deep breath of air in an attempt to re-center herself with her surroundings and shake off the ghostly shivers of her broken past. She rubbed her hand across her face, wiping away the tears before scoffing out a vacant laugh. “Every damn year, without fail, I get these... these dreams about it ya know?. It’s like I can’t escape my past. I’m constantly thinking ‘what could I have done better, why couldn’t I have been a more grounded child’. If I had just controlled my anger my mum might still be here today”

The broken sob that left the young soldier had the Colonels’ heart clenching in his chest and his hands tightening on the steering wheel, almost uncomfortably so. He knew all too well the effects blaming oneself had on the mind. There were many things he took the blame for or blamed himself for as an inexperienced officer in his younger days, he would not allow the girl beside him to fall into that trap any longer given there was likely a deeply buried explanation to the event, one he would commit to finding. While keeping a close eye on the road ahead he reached over to wrap Ash’s hand tightly beneath one of his own effectively hoping to silence her racing thoughts and give her something more tangible to focus on. She was one of his own now, a team member that needed to be looked after as thoroughly as possible, but also someone that, dare he say it, was slowly becoming more than that.

Ash’s head shot up in surprise when she felt the large warm hand grasp her own, it brought a wave of unexpected comfort to her being, warming her to her core. Turning her attention from the hand over her own to the face of the man beside her she gulped. His shoulders were drawn up tight, hand gripping the wheel so tightly his knuckles were white, his jaw was clenched to the point she could have sworn she heard his teeth grinding. His brow has drawn now and his mouth was drawn into a tight line, he was clearly displeased, no, angered by her past she just confessed, the anger that had settled in his deep brown eyes had a chill racing down her spine, it was a look of cold calculation, one she was sure many of has enemies had seen moments before their death. Gathering a small amount of courage she covered his hand with her other and began rubbing small unconscious circles into the side of his thumb, letting a small relieved breath when she saw some of the tension leave his body.

A short time had passed and they had reached the hospital; the tension had now left Ash’s body, with the weight of telling Carrillo about some of her destructive past now off her shoulders she felt like the awkwardness of the previous week had been all but forgotten. Her now unwavering trust in the man beside her somewhat frightened her, coupled in with the ever growing feelings she knew she was in far too deep. There was a silent agreement between the two of them that Ash would go to the medics while Carrillo would head to the archives to try and find files that would be useful to the team, they would reconvene at the car within the next two hours.

Upon entering the hospital and being directed to the outpatient clinic Ash was greeted by a very familiar face, “Captain Lisa Ortiz, my god it has been too long”. The smile that graced her face was pure and genuine, seeing a long lost family friend after so long was a relief and a huge shock to the system, but a good one at that. Ash wasn’t even aware that the Captain had returned from deployment, the last time she’d seen the woman was at her graduation parade when Ash had not long turned eighteen. She had grown up down the road from the amazing woman and as it turned out the Captain was now dating her favourite Lieutenant, Lt. Henry O’Connor.

“My god, little Ashy is that you, come over here girl” Captain Ortiz beckoned her over before wrapping her in a bear hug, she used to babysit the kid when she was a young tot, and furthermore after her mother had passed. Ash’s father, more often than not, would drop her on the Ortiz family doorstep and disappear for weeks on end, she had all but raised this girl and was proud that she had followed her dreams and joined the force. “Right, you, we have some catching up to do, head down to the third room on the right and I’ll be there after I’ve found your files” she had pointed down the corridor signaling the direction she wanted the 2nd Lieutenant to go, a pleased smile gracing her face when she watched the young thing wander off with a new found bounce in her step.

Ash was startled from her thoughts when the Captain entered the room before plonking herself down rather ungracefully into the chair beside her. “I read the report Greys, what the fuck! Have they found who did that to you? That's some messed up shit girl, glad you’re ok though kiddo” She reached over and ruffled Ash’s hair not giving her a moment to answer the questions thrown at her before standing up to grab some gloves and some tools to begin removing the younger officers’ stitches. “Right up on the bed, shirt off, I’m sure by now you’ll be wanting those stitches out”

Ash only nodded, shaking her head with a brief laugh before pulling her shirt over her head and climbing onto the bed like she was asked, she was far to content to do as she was told given how much she trusted the woman before her, she’d admired her since she was a small child and inspired to be like her even now. Lisa began carefully removing the stitches from her side, poking and prodding here and there to make sure she was most definitely healed like she should be, when one particularly hard poke had Ash wincing, she knew the Captain had found the slightly marred skin from where she had pulled those stitches.

“So...” the Captain began, “I heard a dit Greys. About you, a certain LT. Colonel and then a certain international guest. Care to share?”.

The shiteating grin that was currently taking up Lisa’s face told Ash all she needed to know. The Captain already knew everything about the whole ‘Sinclair situation’ so there really wasn’t much to tell there, but from what she remembered about the slightly older woman, she always got the answers she wanted, Ash really couldn’t hide anything from her if she tried. “Damn it Lisa, just spit it out, what do you wanna know” she said with a jeering tone, she knew forgoing rank with the Captain wouldn’t drop her in the shit, the benefits of knowing someone since you were five years old. It was funny watching Lisa try and find the right words to say, the furrowing of her brow and the opening and closing of her mouth like a fish out of water nearly had Ash in tears, it was quite the sight.

“From what I’ve heard the LT. Colonel was a bit of an asshole to you, kid. But I also remember a certain eighteen year old having it bad for him when she attended my graduation parade. I wonder who that could be...” Lisa trailed off with a chuckle. She was sure that by now Ash had all but forgotten about her nagging antics involving the man she no doubt despised nowadays, but it was still a moment of great amusement for the Captain. “Little eighteen year old you just wouldn’t shut up about him. Sinclair this, Sinclair that, honestly kid I'm surprised you never tried to jump that dick near the end of training” Ortiz paused for a moment, considering something before having a light bulb moment, “Unless it's because of a certain Columbian hunk I’ve heard so much about from some of the medics in your intake...” She knew she’d hit the jackpot when Ash blushed beet-red from her hairline to her neck. “Awww, does little Ashy have a crush on the big bad Colonel?”

Ash didn’t know what to say, she had honestly forgotten about how she had crushed on the LT. Colonel before she really even knew him, embarrassingly enough her reactions towards him kind of made sense now. She was going to attempt to deny her ever mounting crush on the Colonel she now lived and worked with but given the reaction Lisa had given, she knew she’d been caught out. “Even after all these years you’re still a gossiping teen” Ash choked out with a laugh, shaking her head with a big smile on her face, “And pffft no, I do not have a crush on anyone. Thank you very much”. Even to her own ears the lie was so evident in her voice, there was definitely no denying she did have a crush on the aforementioned man, but that was despite the point.

“OH yeah, for sure. Definitely. You sound so sure about that Greys. Come on now, between friends, what's it like living with that god of a man? I’ve only seen some pictures but holy damn girl, if you don’t ride that dick that I’m going to get you sent to the block, because denying that man that would be a crime!” The pure childlike glee that passed through the Captains body at witnessing the utter shock of her words became clear to Ash and had her curling over in laughter. Never in her life has she seen someone look so offended yet also curious at the idea.

“Hey put it this way, if that man is cuffing me. I’ll happily go right to horny jail” Ash huffed out between laughs, god it was good to be around someone who thought like her and wasn’t afraid of talking shit at work, it was gold. It felt good to genuinely laugh with someone she knew and cherished, it had been far too long.

“Anyway Greys, better get you all wrapped up and sent on your way back to your mans before he gets grumpy and you get told off. Although secretly I’m sure you’d just love that” She walked over to the desk and gathered up some papers that she needed Ash to give to her new Commanding Officer before writing out some prescriptions for more painkillers and nausea meds that she knew would come in handy in the future. “I need you to give these papers to the Colonel for me” she pointed to the stack tucked into an envelope, “And these ones are for you little lady. Please do keep me posted about that handsome hunk you live with. And don’t let Henry annoy you too much when he gets to the house, I’m sure you’ll have your hands full though. Good luck Greys!” and with one final tight hug she let the young officer go. Watching her plod down the hallway with a dopey smile on her face. Before she could forget she flicked her partner a text:

To: Future Hubbster

~ baby it seems you’ll have the perfect opportunity to have some fun in your new posting. Our little Ashy-bear has a crush on the Colonel, you HAVE to get them together somehow, we need our girl to be happy.

It was barely a minute later that her phone chimed, reading the message she had to shake her head with a laugh.

From: Future Hubbster

~ God I love you. Permission to make a certain Colonel jealous by any means necessary?

She quickly typed out a reply before hitting send and making her way back to the nurses desk to grab the papers for her next patient. She was sure that whatever her partner would do that it would for sure stir up some shit in the team, one of the many reasons she loved that troublemaker.

To: Future Hubbster

~permission granted, boy scout. Just don’t weird out our little Ashy or get kicked off the team. See you tonight baby xx

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From that day onwards the energy in the house was no longer awkward. Carrillo and Ash had fallen back into a rhythm of eating meals together and just genuinely enjoying each other's company in the moments when they could relax. Every Night at around twenty hundred hours they’d both find their way into the living room, generally Ash with a book and Carrillo with some kind of file that could potentially be helpful for their missions, reading quietly in comfortable silence had brought a sense of peace to the both of them. With the events from earlier in the week pushed to the side, but definitely not forgotten by either of them, they were back to being a well gelled team, a small team nonetheless but it worked well for them.

Ash had not so subtly started doting on the man. She’d bring him coffee’s to the office during the day because he barely left the room when he got stuck in a rut reading paper after paper, her heart always warmed that extra little bit when he’d happily accept the cup and give her a small grateful smile, she always left the room with a blush on her cheeks and an added skip in her step. Sunday rolled round and Carrillo had seemingly disappeared from the house, and with him nowhere to be found Ash took it upon herself to finally go for a run.

The property definitely seemed larger now she was running around the outside of it, she was becoming exhausted much faster than she would have liked and her side was rather sore from the effort. It was on her third lap of the property, the lap she had named ‘struggle street’ that she heard the sound of an approaching vehicle. Gapping it towards the house in an attempt to act like she hadn’t just been breaking the rules she made it just in time, rushing round her room and heading to the shower as fast as possible. The both of them had obviously learnt one thing from their moment in the living room nearly a week ago, always take your clothes into the bathroom and come out fully dressed, definitely a less awkward situation. Upon leaving the bathroom, fully clothed, she noticed a fresh set of groceries on the bench, it now made sense as to where the Colonel had disappeared to.

Ash started out putting everything away neatly and into the designated spots, putting her favourite foods into easy to reach spots because while she was average height, some of the cupboards were just that little bit too tall for her to reach up into. Once everything was put away she beelined for the couch and flicked on a random movie on tv, not intending to do much more than nap due to being beyond tired from her run, the dull ache of her muscles was a welcome feeling. Ash skipped dinner that night, still feeling far too tired from her exercise and instead chose to retire to bed early, but not before delivering a fresh cup of coffee to a very busy Carrillo.

Ash was starving when she woke up the next morning, stomach was growling and her body ached more than it had in a very long while, the good kind of overworked ache. Climbing rather ungracefully from her bed and into the kitchen, forgetting to put shorts on under the t-shirt she wore while in a tired state. Growing bored while waiting for the pot of coffee to finish she dug into the cupboard to grab a bowl and spoon in preparation for breakfast, wandering over to the fridge to get the milk before returning to her previous place, just in time for the coffee to be ready. Pouring the cup and taking a quick sip she felt herself begin to wake up, she definitely functioned better after the first cup of coffee in the morning, placing the cup down she reached up to the cupboard she usually kept her cereal in to make herself a bowl, only to find it wasn’t where she had put it yesterday upon unpacking the groceries. Huffing to herself in frustration she began checking the other cupboards, each one she opened came up empty, the frustration growing more and more when all the ones in her line of sight and reach didn’t contain her beloved Creamy Oats. It was then that it occurred to her there was one cupboard left to check, the highest up one that Carrillo usually kept any of his favourite stuff in, reaching up on tippy toes and flicking one of the doors open and she struck gold. From her placement she could see the logo of her cereal staring back at her, now she just had to reach it. Somehow.

Caught up in trying to reach her cereal she failed to notice the Colonel leaning against his bedroom door watching silently from afar. He’d woken to the sound of the kitchen being ransacked only to laugh at what he was seeing. His plan it seemed, had worked, from his vantage point he was granted with quite the sight, long muscled legs, and a well toned ass were revealed as Ash tried to stretch as much as she could onto her tiptoes to reach the box of cereal he had deliberately placed at the back of ‘his’ cupboard. Smirking away to himself he slowly padded over to the kitchen, taking special care to dare not make a sound to alert her of his presence.

Ash jumped when she felt a hand land softly on her side, her body tensed before relaxing all too quickly when she felt the penetrating heat of the man behind her. He reached up over her head, muscles bunching and pressed tightly against her effectively caging her in, grasped the box of cereal she was desperately trying to reach and reached down and placed it in front of her. She expected him to move away instantly but instead he stood there trapping her between the hard wood of the bench and the increasingly harder wood poking her in the lower back. One arm was still gripping her side, the other wrapped around her front with his hand played out on the bench, desperately close to where she needed it most.

Testing the resolve of the officer behind her might not have been her brightest idea but she craved any kind of interaction or touch she could gain from this man. Ash pushed back on him, letting out a small pliant sound of need when she felt him twitch against the curve of her ass, the resulting groan she received from him had her buckling at the knees. His head moved down, mouth hovering against the shell of her ear, she could feel the harsh uneven breaths and when she ground down on him again, harder this time, she was rewarded with yet another deep moan, one that sent a delighted shiver down her spine. She made a move to repeat the action but the hand on her side clamped down impossibly tight, efficiently halting her movements, the last thing she expected was for him to speak.

“Do that again, and you’ll find out how little control I really have” His voice was a mere whisper but it had the desired effect.

Ash froze, processing the words. The sleepy lust filled drawl sent a punch of arousal straight to her core and a moan escaping her throat. She was almost tempted to see how far she could push him, but settled for subtly maneuvering herself to grab for her coffee and bring it closer, her throat was impossibly dry now and he was not helping the situation.

The subtle movement brushed so lightly against him that in any other state it may have been imperceptible but in this highly aroused state it made him want to return the favour. He leaned down slowly, gauging her reaction, before gently and fleetingly brushing his lips behind her ear, smirking softly against her skin when she tilted her head slightly to accommodate him, mouth agape. Never one to turn down an advantage he slowly moved his right hand towards her coffee cup, distracting her further by trailing his lips along the edge of her jaw towards her own lips. He continued his journey towards her lips, stopping only when his hand found purchase on the hot cup of coffee before her, before he retraced his previous path, this time stopping every few centimeters to mouth at underside of her jaw, when he reached his intended target he sealed the deal. He nibbled at the soft skin beneath her ear, sucking lightly to leave the barest of marks but one the both of them would know was there, he blew softly on the skin, lips once again pulling into a smirk when she threw her head back against his bare shoulder. He leant his head against the side of her own, gently nuzzling against her before he growled out lowly, “Thanks for the Coffee Ash” and then as if he wasn’t affected by the current situation, he stepped back, groaning at the loss of pressure against his painfully hard cock.

To say Ash was an undignified mess wouldn’t be far from the truth, but even in her current state of dizzying arousal she wouldn’t let him have the last word. She spun on her heel, briefly stunned while watching the muscles on his back bunch and twist as he made his way back to his room, before she remembered her mission. “Sir..” she tempted in a voice dripping with sin, smirking proudly when she saw his shoulders tense and his head shoot up in a hurry, obviously not expecting her to speak back, “When you start something next time, I expect you to finish it” and with those as her final words she turned around, leaning heavily against the bench for support, barely resisting the urge to get herself off where she stood, Colonel be damned.

Carrillo only just had his door closed and the coffee cup discard before he was desperately pulling himself from his shorts. In less than a dozen strokes and with a barely concealed yell he had spilled into his own hand, moving across the floor he reached down to pick up a discarded t-shirt to clean up his mess. Sitting down on his bed to catch his breath he had to laugh at the situation, he had underestimated the young woman, severely so, and now he’d crossed a line he never had before. He was in deep, far too deep to continue to deny his true feelings for the junior officer. He flopped back onto his bed, staring at the ceiling before growling out a string of curse words in his native tongue. That girl really knew how to get under his skin.

#horacio carrillo #horacio carrillo x reader #horacio Carrillo x oc #paper scissors rank #chapter 9 #narcos fanfic

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iamnotoriginalphil · 5 years ago

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I've been feeling really sad and dysphoric about my gender lately and i dont know how to deal with it. Could i please have a fic with any of the Avengers where the reader is conflicted and sad and someone helps them? I love your writing and i know it will be great whoever you do it with. Please?

I’m sorry this took so long but I wasn’t sure how to best tackle it. I’ve never personally felt gender dysphoria so I can’t write from experience. I will say if this doesn’t accurately reflect the feeling or offends I will take this down as it’s not something I know, or would ever claim to know.

You were sitting on your bed, staring at the blank wall. You were purposefully keeping your back to the mirror, not wanting to deal with what you would see in it. You were trying to make your mind go blank, to stop the thoughts that were bouncing around in your head.

Your skin felt too tight for your body. Everything felt wrong. You didn’t have an answer of how to fix it, how to make it all better. You knew the problem and couldn’t solve it. It made you want to cry.

So now you were sitting, trying not to think about it.

“Love, have you seen my book?”

You looked over to the door, doing your best to ignore the thoughts that entered your head at the voice. You looked up. Loki was glancing around the room, presumably looking for his book. You watched him, not quite wanting to listen to his mumblings.

“Are you ignoring me?” he asked, stopping his search.

You shook your head, turning back to look at the wall. It was a nice cream colour, no marks, no dirt. Nothing was kept on the wall at Loki’s request. You liked it. It was clean. It was safe.

You felt the bed dip beside you. You tilted your head towards Loki, feeling his leg press against yours with a chilliness you always didn’t expect.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing,” you replied.

“That is obviously a lie,” he said.

“Do you ever feel like everything is wrong and you don’t have the right words?” you asked.

“No.”

You turned to look up into his face. He looked concerned, worried. You hated when you worried him. You turned your body so you were sitting more comfortably. He reached out for you, cupping your cheek.

“Tell me.”

You took a deep breath and squeezed your eyes shut. You couldn’t look at him when you said what was running through your mind.

“My gender doesn’t feel right. It’s like, when I look in the mirror I see someone I am not, and I can’t change it. I know what I should be, but I can’t. I don’t know how to deal with it.”

“Ignore gender.”

You blinked your eyes open at him. He was watching you with a smile on his face like he’d cured cancer. You shook your head, sure he hadn’t understood you.

“What?”

“You remember that I can transform my form?’ he asked. You nodded, “I have lived as both a male and female. Neither is right for me. I know I’m in this body right now, but the way I view it, gender is meaningless. Be what makes you happy. The only person who cares what gender you are is you. Only you know what feels right. Dress how you want, look how you want, live how you want.”

“You wouldn’t care?” you asked.

“Not at all. I love you for you, not for your gender,” he said, “be what makes you happy and I’ll be happy.”

You hugged him, tight. It didn’t make everything better necessarily, you still felt wrong and uncomfortable, and you weren’t sure what would make it better. But it was good knowing Loki was in your corner.

It helped.

Tags: @sheridans-dynamos @tumultuous-love @juniperbab @internetgremlin @true-queen-of-mischief @sev7en @fleurs-en-ruines @lokilover2000 @hakuoyuki @el-eldritch @foreverbeingthunderbuddy @fuckthatfeeling @libellule2001

#loki #loki x reader #loki imagine #loki x you #marvel imagine

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miraclealignersv · 5 years ago

Text

Eating for three (Joe Toye x reader)

ask: could you do a Joe Toye x reader in which the reader tries to tell him that shes pregnant but hes like super clueless and busy and doesnt catch on to the clues. Thank you Alex!

A/n: I hope you enjoy! This was so cute to write I love it. (Also I’ve never been pregnant before so I have no idea if this is accurate) anyway, enjoy you guys!

Tag list: @gottapenny @curraheev @wexhappyxfew @bandofmarvels

If there was something y/n hated, it was keeping secrets. Especially from Joe Toye. She didnt even realize it herself at first, not until she started to notice suttle changes. She was tired all the time, would sleep in late and would often take naps throughout the day. Adding on the dizzy spells she at first through she was sick. But all of that followed by the headaches and the cherry on top: Nausea.

She knew something was wrong, at first she didn’t catch onto the symtopms. Not until one night, after dinner one evening. Both Joe and her sat in the living room, he was reading through the mail while y/n watched a sitcom. Until the symptoms were brought up, and the main character of the show was pregnant. The noise that left her mouth after the realization caused Joe to look up from the electricity bill and over to her with a raised eyebrow. y/n smiling nervously and swallowing hard and playing it off as if she was shocked about the sitcom, and not the fact that she connected the dots.

The following day, she waited until Joe had gone to work to make a doctors appointment. Learning that same day that she was indeed with child. After being married with Joe for the past five years, she couldnt imagine anything better than having a baby. Especially having Joe Toye's baby.

That same day, she tried to figure out a way to tell Joe. However she did not know how. Maybe cooking a nice pork roast, with the recepie given to her by Joe's mom. And for dessert Joe's favorite: chocolate silk pie. Humming to herself she set the pork roast into the oven and stood back. only to hear the door of their home open, in came her tired husband after a hard day of work.

''hey honey'' she smiled as she walked towards the entrace of their home. He set down his jacket on the chair in the living room and gave her a tired smile.

"theres my girl'' he smiled as she walked towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck. He reached down and placed a kiss on her cheek before embracing her. "whats in your oven?'' he asked, her eyes widening she choked on air and coughed loudly earning a concerned look from joe. He grabbed a hold of her waist and tried to help her from choking.

“My oven?” She asked, her voice a bit uneasy after the coughing fit. Joe slowly nodded and pointed to the kitchen.

“Yeah...dinner” he tried to clarify it a bit more, y/n understood what he was saying and nodded.

“O- oh dinner! Yeah just your ma’s pork roast.” She brushed it off as she pointed towards the kitchen with her thumb. Joe smiled and placed a kiss on her temple before passing by her and towards their living room.

It got harder after that, she didn’t tell him about the baby growing inside of her just yet. She let a week could go by, Joe didn’t seem to notice. Although he was becoming suspicious of the fact that she would wake up every morning at 6 am and run to the bathroom to throw up. Her excuse: food poisoning.

One night as they were getting ready for bed he noticed a big difference. She walked out of their bathroom as he tried to fix his watch. Glancing up he noticed she was wearing her nightgown, however there was a big difference.

“Wait when did that happen?” He asked setting the watch on his lap, y/n froze at the end of the bed and raised her eyebrow in question.

“When did what happen?” She asked, joe pointed to her chest and smirked. Y/n tried to play dumb, but she wanted him to notice. That way she would easily find a way to let him know she was carrying his child.

“That” he chuckled making y/n laugh nervously. She glanced down at her chest and back at joe who had a smirk on his face. “I like it” he shrugged making her roll her eyes at the comment. And again, she didn’t tell him.

Two days after that, at breakfast she served her self a mountain of scrambled eggs and hash browns. Joe watched closely as she set the plate down and started digging in. His eyes glued to her while he held his coffee mug in his hand. Y/n could feel his gaze on her, he was shocked more than anything.

“What?” She asked, as she slowly chewed and reached for her own coffee mug. Joe chuckled and shook his head before setting his own mug down.

“Nothing, it’s just like when people say ‘you’re eating for two—“ before he could finish y/n choked on a piece of potato and had yet again another coughing fit. Joe immediately patted her back as she reached for her coffee and took a drink to help. “Whoa, hey babe are you okay?” He asked, y/n only closed her eyes and swallowed hard. This was it, this was the moment she had been waiting for.

“Yeah...” she started and watched as he glanced down at his watch, his eye widening at the time.

“Crap I gotta get to work” he rushed as he grabbed a piece of toast, placing a kiss onto her forehead grabbed they rest of his stuff and started to head out to the door of their home “love you babe” he called out earning a small bye from her.

She had a second appointment that same day, just to check if she was doing alright. Going in for blood upon other tests she was finally taken into another room for an ultrasound. To the doctors surprise, there wasn’t a baby.

There were two of them.

The second the doctor told y/n that she was expecting twins, y/n felt a sudden rush with her. She was frozen in place not knowing how to react. Twins. Her and Joe were having twins.

That same night she waited for joe to come home, dinner was ready. The table was set and she changed into something more comfortable. Y/n held the small ultrasound picture in her fingertips and glanced down to see the two little beans. She placed the picture in the pocket of her apron the second she heard the door open. In came her tired husband, a smile on his face the second he saw his girl waiting for him.

“Hey baby” he smiled as she made his way towards her, pulling her close and pecking her lips. He noticed something was eating at her, just by the way she looked up at him. “Somethings wrong. What’s wrong?” He asked, panic taking over. Y/n bit her lip and tried to find the right words, the right thing to say. She couldn’t just blurt it out, she could but... she wouldn’t.

“Joe.. honey—“ she started but stopped herself, Joe taking a step back. His eyes roamed her face and watched as she bit the inside of her cheek. “Erm... remember this morning? You said something about that one saying?” She asked, joe raised an eyebrow in question and slowly nodded.

“The eating for two thing?” He asked his head cocking to the side as she gave him a small smile.

“Yeah! That” she pointed making Joe only more confused at why she was bringing it up. She hoped that maybe he would catch onto it, she loved the man to death but damn he was slow.

“What about it?” He asked looking away and back at her again, y/n groaned a bit and sighed before thinking of a way to explain.

“I’m not eating for two” she clarified, joe slowly nodded a chuckle escaping his lips.

“Right...” he trailed off and watched as y/n brought her hand up to the side of her face.

“I’m eating for three” she winced and closed her eyes before covering them with her hand. Joe only stood there with his eyebrows furrowed, his eyes glued onto his loving wife. He was confused, didn’t understand what she was saying. That and maybe thinking what his reaction should be. Was this a joke? Should he laugh to make her feel better?

“I dont get it...” he slowly spoke, y/n opened her eyes and glanced up at him. Walking closer he placed her hands on his shoulders and stared into his eyes. “Baby..?” He asked, slightly concerned as to why his wife was acting like this.

“Okay, look what I’m trying to say, my sweet, loving, slow, amazing husband.” Joe watched her as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant” she announced, Joe’s eyes widened at the words that had left her mouth. He chuckled, a wide grin spread onto his lips.

“You’re serious? There’s a little Toye in there?” He asked as he placed his hand onto her abdomen. Y/n smiled at him and shook her head, immediately Joe’s smile to fall “wha- what?” He asked

“There’s two little Toyes in there” she chuckled, joes mouth opened to speak. But there were no words that came out. Only a chuckle before placing both his hands onto her lower abdomen. Y/n sighed in relief the second he pulled her into a tight embrace.

#joe toye x reader #joe toye imagine #joe toye #band of brothers #band of brothers imagine #hbo war

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nvrissa · 5 years ago

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hello laid ease and furries ( u know who u are )......hahaha....are u ready for this ? zimzalabim ! my name is xan ( she/her pronouns ) and my laptop has been broken for a good 3 years now i have to use an onscreen keyboard so if u see me typing for 20000 years on discord only to send u a single sentence u know whats up x JSDBJWBJW here is the intro....im really winging this no one call me out for that WOOO....tw: medication, mental health, body image ? perhaps just to be safe <3

ok ! so im not gonna talk too much abt family stuff bc yuno and i are doing the collab of the century here and art takes time people ! JSBDJBWDJW but so u get a good idea...i will write a little abt it lets get it

so the kwons were two of the biggest faces in hollywood ( and tbh they are still considered icons / hollywood royalty no matter how old they get they stay #Relevant ) think bradgelina ! literally everyone knows who the kwons if u dont u probably live under a rock /:

their parents are very into the fame thing...so when it came to their kids ( nari and wolfe ) they SUPER pushed the famous life onto them, really expecting both of them to be just as obsessed and enamored by the public. idk if u guys ever say that vid of gigi and bella hadid before they were huge were their mom was pressuring them both to get into modeling and to stay skinny and to be stars etc....it was kinda like that !

so narissa, being the first born, really just internalized that shit...like imagine being told ever since u were a baby that fame and status and ur last name are wildly important and not being able to remember a time when u werent being watched by cameras / a third party ( the public ) bc that was her life ! nari has....no experience as to what life is like without cameras and without having to create this image of herself that ppl are gonna be into

obviously that’s NOT normal....and it had it’s toll on her /: as a kid she grew up so fast like u know those kids that seem so mature and wise for their age ? that was nari. she always had two versions of herself: inside nari vs outside nari. she was so good at being good just bc she knew what stuff to express and what stuff to keep inside ( spoiler alert: most of it was kept in x )

she is still very much desperate to please her parents despite it all /: i feel like for a long time she kinda excepted and agreed that fame is everything ( hence why shes known for using her last name to get her places ) but shes starting to realize just how FUCKED it all is and just how much it’s messed her up so stay tuned for more fun !

ok so career stuff ! nari started off as a child model bc she was um super cute and super good at knowing what to do / not freaking out in front of cameras <3 but she was always obsessed with actors ! she used to sit in front of the tv for hours legit study and memorize ppls mannerisms and various movie lines.. she was literally always just quoting random lines / imitating various actors so often her parents were like ok word go act !

she landed her first role at 12 and it was a pretty huge role as a lead chara in a mini television series that revolved around a cast of kids ( think stranger things but not plot wise just how some of the mains were kids ) with zero acting experience before hand ... so it was pretty clear to the media nari got the spot bc she was a kwon ! there was a bunch of controversy around the show before it came out but once it was released...there was no denying nari had talent

after that it was just a whirlwind of acting doors opening up for her. everyone wanted nari bc of her last name and all the attention that came from it, not to mention every director wanted to be The One that helped narissa kwon become one of the most famous actresses of the 21st century. most of the time she was getting cast for selfish reasons but nari never realized it /: she was just happy to be acting bc it really was like therapy for her to become different ppl

flash forward to age 15 when narissa was finally diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and was prescribed meds to help ! it was actually a director from a movie she was working on that suggested to her parents nari might be struggling after witnessing her have a panic attack on set. not wanting a scandal, her parents agreed it was best to get her “help” which included pills and weekly therapy !

so nari actually didnt mind it too much tbh she HAD been struggling for a while she just assumed her anxiety was normal and just like something all famous ppl were dealing with but that wasnt the case. she was hesitant to open up to her therapist just bc she was still obsessed with this idea of inside nari vs outside nari, and she was very scared to cross that line so it took....years of sessions to build up that trust

as she got older though and as she got more famous, everyone just assumed she was better. she was more famous and loved by the day, she had become a chanel ambassador ( thank u jennie x ), her interviews on youtube always brought in record views, she’d started in plenty of movies critics agreed would become cult classics, her social medias were nearing kardashian level in terms of followers: everything was on track....

....except nari had actually never been more unstable. she had become so dependent on her meds she couldnt go anywhere or talk to anyone without popping a few in. all the watching eyes were starting to make her paranoid, not to mention the pressure from her parents ( who couldn’t be happier with nari being so famous ) was at its all time high. she had been nominated for an oscar at 21 and everyone was expecting her to win...and then she didnt

narissa kwon famously fainted at the 2018 oscars after it was announced she had lost the award. her actual fainting wasnt caught on camera or televised, but it WAS witnessed by some of the most relevant names and faces in hollywood who were in that room. the scandal took the media by storm, the hashtag #getwellnarissa trending for over 42 hours until a statement was released she had fainted bc of dehydration and other undisclosed causes and that she was okay & currently taking it easy at home surrounded by family

in reality it was the abuse of her medication as well as all the stress, but when your last name is kwon manipulating the press is as simple as making the right phone call. unfortunately for nari and her parents, the article about the brat pack came out a week later, and there was no manipulating that source /:

for narissa, it was all a wake up call. she decided to go off her anxiety meds altogether. after falling out with the brat pack she spent that year trying to figure out who she was separate from her fame and her last name. despite some offers from a few casting directors ( surprisingly some people still wanted her despite the scandals bc she was still a kwon, after all ) narissa rejected every role except one in a coming of age indie movie that explores womanhood and mental health as well as strained relationships with mothers. the movie is set to release sometime mid august hehe (~:

she agreed to come to milan to reunite with the brat pack bc she’s still searching for herself ! nari figures the people who quite literally grew up with her might give her some answers......not to mention there is still a part of her who is desperate to reclaim the image and status she had before everything fell apart </3

PERSONALITY/TIDBITS

narissa is....complicated to say the least. growing up in front of the cameras and in a family who prioritized fame and outside opinions of you as the most important thing, she is quite literally desperate for praise and approval. because she legit has no idea what parts of her are real and what parts of her she’s created for her public persona, she often looks for understanding in others!! shes very very good at analyzing people and understanding people in the hopes that its gonna make her better at analyzing herself, but to no avail.

libra sun capricorn moon !! THIS is super accurate and telling if u wanna read but i kinda just summarized it in the last bullet

she is such a perfectionist with everything she does and a bit of a control freak in the sense that if she’s not the one doing something, she doesnt have faith whatever that is will be able to live up to her unrealistic standards. directors are often concerted with nari bc whenever she gets big roles.....she is so hard on herself, often asking for take after take bc she monitors every little thing abt her expression or her movements. she’s often left frustrated and disappointed with herself bc again, her standards are SUPER unrealistic ):

she’s relatively sweet!! growing up with the brat pack they probably knew her as the life of the party, very bubbly, confident, and very easy to have fun with as long as you’re being tolerable. however, she can get kind of opinionated at times so it’s very hard for you to gain her trust and respect back if you lose it. she’s also prone to random mood swings / periods of isolation, but whenever she returns its with a big smile and a soft voice assuring you everything is okay

very good at lying and deceiving ppl but she hardly ever does it on purpose ( unless her publicists asks her too ). she’s carried this persona / public image of herself curated for consumption from others for so long, sometimes she has no idea when she’s being sincere or if she’s just convincing herself she’s being sincere. most of the time she only deceives other people about herself. she can come across as kind of elusive because of this ( think daisy from gatsby’s perspective ) but it’s not on purpose. she just legit has no true sense of self isnt that sexy?

speaking of sex. JWDBJWBDJWBD she also uses that as a coping mechanism / a weird affirmation that yes, she IS wanted by others and yes she IS seen as someone beautiful and that she IS something to be consumed by others ( like i said in my tags....male fantasies male fantasies ) but then at the same time she feels guilty abt this and so unsatisfied and disgusted at how she’s living her life as an object / manifestation of other people’s projections rather than as a normal person...rip </3 its a cycle

ever since her relationship with micah that was so hated by the public it actually ruined and ended their relationship, nari has been too scared to publicly have a relationship again. the media seems to love seeing her on casual dates with other stars, but not to see her tied down to one person, as that kind of “damages” this super accessible persona she’s put out ( think idols and why they cant date )

she loves poetry, french music, all of marilyn monroe and audrey hepburn’s movies, nonfiction essays abt womanhood and identity, anything chanel, is particularly fond of silk dresses but is partial to velvet as well, wears lacy bralettes under everything bc it makes her a little more confident, actually prefers large parties to small ones because small gatherings are more personal therefore give her more anxiety, would only eat fruit and drink champagne if she could live like that, doesn’t know how to swim so she’s scared of the ocean as well as the dark, used to study ballet as a kid and misses it terribly, doesn’t know how to drive and isn’t planning to learn, can be materialistic at times, is probably an introvert masquerading as an extrovert for 22 years now, the only movies she cant stand are westerns, loves to travel but is scared of flying, doesn’t drink coffee, and is allergic to nuts.

last but most important fact about narissa is that she loves her brother wolfe more than anything in this world so messing with him is the only way nari is bound to 100% hate you. she can bully him all she wants ( ex. starting very real rumors he IS in fact a furry ) but no one else is aloud to actually be mean to him or she will kill you

also very random but i had a hc that when she was 6 and her pet cat jinx died she caused enough fuss at home her parents actually made it a national holiday in about thirteen different states. the anniversary of this death is december 4th and yes . the brat pack better mourn jinx with nari every year......

pls spare plots im sorry this is so long.....JBDJBWJDBWJBWDJBJ i promise it will be worth it also im sensitive and very small ... how can u say no ?

#bratsintro #╰ ♡ . 𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒆 𝒇𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒆 𝒇𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒆𝒔 ── ooc !#yes this tag is inspired by the margaret atwood quote....bc i am Literally haunted by it #so is nari x #also this gif ? inspired by her furry brother<3 #this intro is a whole mess pls . plot with me anyway ?#THIS IS RIDICULOUSLY LONG HOLY SJBWJBJWBDJW yea i...am so sorry oy my god

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