#it would be funny to no one but myself I’m just thinking bout story telling

[macksartblock]

I know it won’t happen but what if Normal had a little Fabian Seacaster FHSY moment

[onekindredspirit]

Eagles - Revisited

(a train journey across Canada in the months before the pandemic)

For Maria

“I reckon they’re eagles!” That’s Tim. He’s excited. The dining car is full of people and it’s loud. For some reason, if you put a lot of humans into a confined space they will yell at each other. Around our table there’s Tim, he’s a retired London detective, there’s a teacher from Newfoundland, an Australian and me. We’re somewhere in the Rockies of Canada and Tim thinks he sees eagles. Tim also thinks I ‘know things’, so I’m not totally convinced about the eagles.

“Where?” That’s the Australian. Her accent is a brutal drawl, like the sawing of a blunt serrated knife across the back of the hand.

“There! They’re big birds.” He’s pointing, very excited now.

I can’t see anything but I decide I need to contribute something anyway, “But are they real?”

Retired London detectives don’t much care for nonsense.

“Of course they are!” Tim snaps back at me.

Perhaps coming to my defence, the Australian decides to take him down.

“They’re not eagles … I reckon they’re crows.”

Tim’s hurt “They are!” The level of his indignation easily exceeds the pointlessness of the conversation and so the farce begins.

I tune out. A mind is a wonderful place if you can tame it … but good luck with that.

Suddenly I’m brought back – “He ‘knows things’ you know.” Tim’s making a public declaration and all eyes are on me.

“Whadda ya mean?” The Australian is sceptical.

“He ‘knows things’ I tell you!” Tim is my biggest supporter.

“Like what?” The Australian picks up the scent.

Now Tim has to prove I ‘know things’ … I hope it doesn’t go to a Senate Committee.

“Well, he knew how old I was.”

It’s true.  Tim had asked me, “How old do you think I am?”

I didn’t hesitate - “71.” My immediate reply stunned him.

“How did you know that?”

“I just do.”

Magicians don’t show their audience the secrets of their tricks, do they? But okay, in a previous conversation Tim had told me the year he’d joined the ‘force’ and I had then enquired about his age on joining … mathematics is also a wonderful thing.

But the Australian isn’t going to accept this flimsy story as evidence of my “knowing things”. She wants more proof. I expected that. Their entire culture was built on a challenge to authority. So perhaps I do ‘know things’ after all.

“Okay, whadda ‘bout this?” the Australian begins. Now it’s the big test for me. I’m feeling fit, I’ve been in training for months and my fighting weight is perfect.

The Australian continues “We were at a talk last night, in the observation car, about agriculture in Alberta.”

Tim nods “It was good.” I love his optimism.

“You weren’t there were you?” The Australian would have done well during the McCarthy era communist ‘witch hunts’ of the 1950’s.

“No.” I almost laugh. Of course not, I was someplace else on the train, enjoying my somewhat tamed mind.

“Okay then, tell us … how much do you think a combined harvester costs?”

I don’t hesitate “Between $400,000 and $500,000.”

The look of disappointment on the Australian’s face is kind of funny. Tim, on the other hand, is gleeful to be proven right after suffering such a bad loss over the eagles.

“See, I told you!”

The Australian narrows her eyes. She smells a rat. “You were there weren’t you?”

“He wasn’t!” That’s Tim, he’s still my biggest supporter.

“No, I wasn’t there.” I confirm.

“Tell him!” Tim is going in for the kill.

“$450,000 ...” Her voice trails off. The Australian doesn’t like being wrong.

So the wonders appear to continue but there’s no mystery here either. I live in a rural community and I have an inquisitive mind. One day I had asked myself “I wonder what a combined harvester costs?” You’ve probably asked yourself the same question at one time or another.

For the rest of the journey I wear the aura of a man who ‘knows things’. It’s an enigmatic position to take in life. In part, you are ‘messiah’. You walk the corridors of the train surrounded by a spectral glow, robes flowing, your hands outstretched offering benedictions and people whisper “he ‘knows things’ you know.” On the other hand, being ‘messianic’ is a lonely business but I don’t mind, I have my somewhat tamed mind for company.

Of course I made the ‘messiah’ bit up. I have a wish that life could be just a little more absurd than it already is. In truth, only Tim thinks I know things. The Australian thinks she’s been tricked and everyone else on the train couldn’t care less, which is how I like it.

Later … days later our train pulls into Toronto. My hotel is only 100 metres from the station so I linger in the compartment, packing, dreaming.

When I finally get to the baggage carousel I’m surprised to see Tim. He has his back to me. There is a younger man with him and they have the body language of two people who know each other well. Both are English and it’s obvious the younger guy was also on the train, judging by the baggage labels on his luggage. But this is the first time I’ve seen them together, which I find strange.

Then Tim reacts. I presume the hairs on the back of his neck have suddenly stood on end because he turns. Maybe that’s how he became a detective in the first place – he has good instincts.

Tim recognizes me and completely fails to disguise the look of alarm in his eyes.

There’s something about the younger man … and then comes that feeling, like the fitting of the final piece in a jigsaw, and I understand.

We all have things we feel we need to hide. Mostly the world isn’t looking but if you happen to end up on a train with someone who ‘knows things’, it’s very hard to escape the truth … some people just ‘know things’.

Tim hurriedly looks away.

I’m sorry to have unsettled him and all I really want to say now is “Tim, eagles are real”.

- One Kindred Spirit

[hey-there-ghouls]

For the ask game,

🥺✨🧐🎨🧠🤲✅

Yeah i know they’re a lot but I’m curious and love your work! Have a great day!

Never apologise for asking! Sorry this has taken me a bit, my kiddo was sick and wanted to be attached to me constantly. Putting it under a cut because it got a little long:

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

I'm always a sucker for when two characters are having a very emotionally charged moment, usually talking about something very heavy, and one reaches out to just gently touch the other. Bonus points if it's the first time that person has had a friendly touch in a while and slumps at the contact.

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

I want you to know that I agonised over this because I'm super critical of my own stuff. I can't even go back to reread it without wanting to change everything or roll my eyes at something.

I think I'm good at getting the voice of characters right; even if they're saying something that's OOC, I think I can phrase it in such a way or concoct a scenario where it's authentic for them to be saying that particular thing.

🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?

I spend so much time researching my stories! I come from a background in journalism and that's an industry that puts a lot of emphasis on citing sources and having the facts straight, so it's really hard for me to write something that doesn't have even the vaguest basis in fact.

Everything in my fic is somewhat based in reality and I usually try to link whatever research I've done at the end of the chapter. I really like coming up with tricky situations (like the church being awash with blood) and then trying to find ways that could actually happen.

🎨 How do you feel about fan art of your stories?

I've never had fan art of my fics, but I'd love it if it ever happened. I only ever ask that people credit the fic where approrpriate.

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

I don't know if I was meant to pick one or you were, but I'll go with the (fictional) Shane Madej:

He's an exceptionally weird dude. Lots of niche interests and random facts rattling around that big ol' brain of his which he chooses to share in seemingly strange moments. I have this little idea that he endeared himself to Quinta by sharing stories about Ten Cent Beer Night and other historical oddities during tubulant flights to cases.

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

Everything is really in fragments at the moment as I've had to write most of this chapter either on my phone during bouts of morning sickness or through voice to text lol but here you go:

“Special Agent Madej?” Ray asks, his voice still in the faux friendly tone he uses when he’s waiting for one of his agents to realise they’ve drawn a particularly stupid conclusion – and for one confusing moment Shane thinks Ray knows he’s awake and waiting for a response – but then he adds, “What possible reason could you have for wanting to handcuff a federal agent?”  “Because he is now my main lead on six murders after Ryan Bergara shot through thanks to him being tipped off by your agent,” Cooper growls.  “How,” Ray says, and it’s supposed to be the start of a question, but it comes out with so much force that he gets stuck there for a second. “How did you come to that conclusion?” he finally manages.

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

There's always someone dealing with loads of anxiety whilst being in deep denial that they need to reach out for support...no idea where that's come from.

Also humour, I really can't write anything without trying to make it even a little funny to myself.

[disgruntledkittenface]

Thank you @hellolovers13​ and @neondiamond​ for tagging me! I loved reading your answers to these questions.

1. Number of stories posted to AO3 this year: 11

with love on the line

i get so lost inside your eyes

still, somehow

like sun on the rise

subverting expectations

Darling, so it goes

baby, you’re the end of june

The Referral

something to dream about

enough to make a girl blush

make you mine this season

2. Word count posted for the year: 288,979

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction

4. Pairings: Nick/Harry/Louis, Niall/Zayn, Liam/Louis, Nick/Harry, Harry/Louis, Louis/Harry/Tom Hardy, Niall/Louis, Zayn/Harry, Nick/Louis

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: baby, you’re the end of june

Bookmarks: Darling, so it goes

Comments: make you mind this season

the rest under the cut!

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): Darling, so it goes. I’m proud of myself for finishing it, because it took about three years to research and write and I had about three bouts of horrible writer’s block on it during that time. And I’m proud that it’s exactly what I wanted to write and that I posted it even though I wasn’t sure if people would respond to it. It has the heart and warmth that I try to infuse my writing with. It’s me, on a page. 

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): something to dream about. I still feel like reworking it, even though it posted in October. I don’t think it’s bad, but I think it could be better.

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: I would say this year it was the experience of posting make you mine this season and getting comments and reactions every day. I’ve never had people engaging with a fic that way because I’ve never posted a wip before. I gave myself some anxiety a few times (Will people be mad I didn’t write the scene with Louis’ family?? Is this zarry ending the kind of happy people want???) but everyone was so kind and lovely and it really made my heart grow three sizes.

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: It’s kind of hard right now. I don’t feel very motivated or excited about writing, even though I really like my current wip. I think it’s because I’m having a hard time at work, it’s kind of killing my motivation to do anything, I just want to curl up on the couch and self soothe all day.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: In enough to make a girl blush, I thought it would be more of a slow burn before I got to the smut, but truly the first time the Louis and Niall characters hung out, they wanted to hook up right away, so that’s what they did!

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: from like sun on the rise

“I don’t know if like is a strong enough word,” she confesses, continuing to open boxes so she doesn’t have to look at Louis while she spills her guts. “Like… if that was anyone else trying to talk to me about casting a circle, whatever that means, I would think they were full of shit. But with Harry, it’s like I can tell she really means it, you know? And I start to think, oh, maybe it’s not so bad, I guess I get how that might be comforting to believe in.”

“Whoa.” Louis stops unpacking the box and just looks at Nick.

“I know! It’s like, who am I?” Nick stops working too and sits on one of the unopened boxes. “With every other girl I’ve had a crush on, I’ve always kind of mentally edited out the stuff I didn’t like about them. You know? Like remember Ariana?”

“Yeah, she was hot.”

“So hot, and funny and cool and smart and–”

“Pretentious.”

“So fucking pretentious,” Nick agrees, running a hand through her hair. “So I kind of just ignored that part. That way, I could still have a crush on her.”

Louis shrugs, laughing. “Been there.”

“But Harry.” Nick blows out a breath. “Harry is different. All of her weird stuff, like auras and spells and whatever – that’s exactly the type of thing that I would usually just ignore. I do this all the time, I get a crush for a few weeks, I ignore some stuff, maybe we go out a couple of times, and then it ends because they were all wrong for me. But with Harry, everything I learn about her just makes me like her more. It’s… intense. And I know I haven't known her that long, but I’m starting to think that maybe this isn’t just a crush.”

“So why do you look sick to your stomach? Isn’t this a good thing?”

“But what if she doesn’t like me back?”

“Nick.” Louis levels her with a look. “Are you serious?”

“Is that a rhetorical question, or–”

“Of course she fucking likes you back,” Louis says, turning back to the opened box next to her and unearthing a bag of filters. “She’s been coming here to study every time you have a shift. You text constantly when you’re not together. You speak in shorthand, you two don’t even need to finish sentences around each other.”

“So you think–”

“I know she likes you. And listen, Nick,” Louis says, looking over her shoulder, “don’t fucking hurt her, okay? Or you’ll have me to deal with.”

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: By trying different things! I love challenging myself that way. I wanted to see if I could good alpha/omega girl direction smut (and I think I did!). And I wrote my first advent fic! After I came up with the basic idea, I had to think about how to pace two stories and interconnect them and keep each chapter short enough so people could read along if they wanted to, and I’m really happy with how it turned out.

13. How do you hope to grow next year: By continuing to try new things!

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): I have SO MANY positive influences, truly my little community is an embarrassment of riches. I’m going to say @queenofquiet17​ who doesn’t even go here but always cheerleads my fics and helps me when I need it. She gave me a lot of suggestions for queer literature to include in make you mine this season, and then for my birthday she went to the bookstore from the fic and bought three of the books for me! When I opened the package, I cried. She always makes me feel like I’m part of the queer community and like I’m enough, and that means so much to me. 

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: I wrote still, somehow after my husband trimmed my split ends for me. I was in the middle of a depressive episode and I didn’t realize until I was writing in Liam’s voice that I felt guilty about it, even though it’s not something my husband would ever resent me for.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: Take each piece of writing advice with a grain of salt. Something that works for one person might not work for another. If you want to use adverbs, use adverbs. Write for yourself. 

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: I definitely feel more excited about the american tragedy au idea after posting about it, so I might actually attempt it this year even though it’s a darker idea and my fics always end up being nicer than I think they will.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

@uhoh-but-yeah-alright​ @homosociallyyours​ @louandhazaf​ @kingsofeverything​ @wabadabadaba​ @littleroverlouis​ @onesweetworld18​ @brightgolden​ @absoloutenonsense​ @allwaswell16​

[astriiformes]

Ooh, how bout 3 and 29 for the ao3 wrapped questions?

Answered 3!

29 - Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

Cheating a little here and posting two just because they have hilariously different vibes that I think, collectively, really showcase some of my strengths as a writer -- I'm realizing with a lot of what I've posted this year and last year that one of the things that makes me stories distinct is a real blend of dark, heavy elements (often whumpy, always very hearfelt) and comedy

For the former category -- I still really love all the speeches from the resurrection scene at the end of Aurum Horizontale, but Keyleth's turned out especially poignant, I think, because it walked a very fine line calling attention to the irony of the whole AU concept without feeling too heavy-handed about it:

“Maybe I was just dumb,” she said. “Maybe I was… I was imagining things, when we talked. But I’ve never been very good with people, and ever since our first conversation it was so exciting, feeling like you and I just… clicked. Like we understood each other, even though we’re such totally different people. And I always thought… I always…” Giving a particularly loud, choked sob, Keyleth picked up one of Percy’s hands and held it for a moment, like a lifeline. It took a while for her to gather herself to continue. “I was probably just being stupid,” she said. “Like, how could I know? But sometimes, I found myself thinking that hey, in another universe or something, where I got to see you more than like, one night a week, and we could go get stupid levels of drunk together and I could hug you and where you weren’t stuck in a living nightmare, we could’ve been each other’s best friends. I think… I think I thought about that a little too much, honestly. About coming here, and freeing you, and getting to take you to my favorite shitty bars, or maybe even Zephrah someday. And maybe you don’t want that. Maybe that part was all in my head. But I guess… I guess I’m just not okay with living in a universe where I never get to find out, you know? It was always an “if,” and it’s still an “if,” but if I never find out for real… I’m going to live a long time, probably, and I don’t want to spend all that time wondering. I don’t want you to be gone.”

And as for the latter, comedic category all the chat sections of Several Witches Are Typing were a lot of fun to write -- I would never write a full chatfic, I think, but as an important element of a larger story where it thematically "fit" it was a very fun exercise in character voices to try to figure out how all the kids would text (Tragically, I failed to predict the wildly out-of left field nonsense that is Hunter's actual, canonical texting style, but I'm not even mad because it's funny and perfect)

Anyways, this was a favorite of those:

9:53PM 9/21/20 - lyregirl💖: hey caleb 9:53PM 9/21/20 - lyregirl💖: u know all the coven heads 9:53PM 9/21/20 - lyregirl💖: im dying to know if you have dirt 9:56PM 9/21/20 - Guard102311304: What does dirt have to do with my rank? 9:57PM 9/21/20 - griffin_mama: She means like do you know anything embarrassing about any of them 10:03PM 9/21/20 - Guard102311304: Terra talks to her plants all the time. 10:03PM 9/21/20 - hello_willow: hey, i talk to my plants😕 10:03PM 9/21/20 - Guard102311304: Captain, I can guarantee that you are infinitely more normal about it. 10:03PM 9/21/20 - hello_willow: oh well thank you  10:03PM 9/21/20 - hello_willow: 💚🌱 10:05PM 9/21/20 - Guard102311304: Kikimora’s ringtone is “Material Ghoul.” 10:05PM 9/21/20 - lyregirl💖: 🤣🤣🤣 10:05PM 9/21/20 - griffin_mama: No WAY 10:06PM 9/21/20 - griffin_mama: What about Belos 10:06PM 9/21/20 - lyregirl💖: omt yes tell us about the emperor 10:09PM 9/21/20 - Guard102311304: That would be a betrayal of his trust in me. 10:09PM 9/21/20 - griffin_mama: Wow you must know something REALLY embarrassing 10:09PM 9/21/20 - Guard102311304: No. I just respect him. 10:10PM 9/21/20 - griffin_mama: sounds like something somebody who knows something super embarrassing about the Emperor would say 10:11PM 9/21/20 - Guard102311304: It does not.

[nikosmith95]

Sitting here pretending to have good time. Just brought home some bomb ass tacos for mom (we in MS so there is really shitty food around here finally found a 45% decent place. And my buddy is like here let’s play some video games and I’m like okay cool and tells him to get something started that way I can literally just go walk off into the rain storm that’s happening en because I just fucking want to disappear and not be around anyone like fuck I’m bout to scream “fucking go away”. I just want to fall apart while no one in around.

Oh fuck they came on and started looking at me. Now mom is talking to me. Guess I gotta pull myself together. I really don’t want to like can I please just everyone see that I’m okay while I pretend to be even okey. Like can I just break down and loose my self and slit my wrist on the side of the road without my mom wondering how I’m doing like fuck me I just want to die can you stop worrying about me.

I think that’s what makes it the hardest that people actually like rely on you for shit being as simple as funny joke or some money to get drunk and get outta my head with. Like idk how to explain to people that I want to fucking slit my wrist and watch the blood drip for like two stories. Like just please let me dy I piece. But i can’t do that because like mom wouldn’t be able to deal with it and like everyone else close to me right now I think would just be in denial and honestly if I do actually send you my tumblr link and you do read it you will be the first i. About 4 years that had even see a fraction of what I’m fighting every day. Like hole shit if you’ve even made it to this point I’m like more impressed because there is only two other people that have made it this far. But anyways I’m gonna stop rambling cus I’m bout to end getting to dark but I guess I’ll sign off with this kind of shit like if you have read this please just meager me in any way and tell me that you “hear my tumbler” even if you didn’t understand what I was saying. Well it’s a Friday night and I just got home from the bar with one of my best bros We were bout to pay darts when this majestic goddess camealked up to sever us and he just started riding drinks and now here I I am 4 shots and 3 beers later trying to calm myself down from doing some really stupid shit. Anyways maybe where I need to go is distract myself with trying to find someone around here that can actually bread my hair right

[folklorechalamet]

All Too Well (AG) pt.2

make sure to read pt. 1 here !

i have also decided that i am going to make as many parts of this as it takes to finish the song lol so... there’s more to come ;)

anyways, enjoy!

Photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red

You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-sized bed

And your mother's telling stories 'bout you on the tee-ball team

You taught me 'bout your past, thinking your future was me

“Oh my god, is that you?”

Andrew covered up his face with his hands, leaning back further into the couch, “Yeah, I looked like a streak of piss.”

“Your little glasses were so cute, babe. You look like a little English professor. Why don’t you wear them anymore?” I smirked taking the picture out of his hand to look closely at it. 

“Oh haha, you’re real funny Y/N.” He shuffled through the pictures until he got to one showing him standing in a baseball uniform with a huge grin on his face. “Bet you didn’t know your boyfriend was a star athlete.”

“Andrew, oh my god. You were so cute.” I smiled, grazing my finger over the aged picture.

Andrew looked over at me with a content smile, brushing a few strands of my hair away from my face. “With how cute you were as a baby and, of course, how adorable and charming I was as a kid…Maybe our kids actually have a chance.”

I raised my head up to look him the eyes before furrowing my eyebrows, “Our kids? We’re talking about kids now?”

He laughed, slightly throwing his head back and taking a swig of his beer, “Yeah, I mean…can’t help but think about that when it comes to you. You’re gonna be a great mother one day. Soon, if I have anything to do with it.”

I reached over to cup his face and run my fingers over his cheek, “You’re gonna be a great dad too.”

Andrew shifted slightly, putting his beer down on the coffee table, “You know you mean a lot to me, Y/N. Like, more than anyone else in the world.”

“Yeah…you mean a lot to me too, Andrew.”

The sentiment was nice, but it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I guess I really couldn’t blame him. I didn’t tell him I loved him either. But I will next time. I have to.

And you were tossing me the car keys, "fuck the patriarchy"

Key chain on the ground, we were always skipping town

And I was thinking on the drive down, any time now

He's gonna say it's love, you never called it what it was

 “Babe, have you seen my scarf?” I yelled as I walked down the staircase, expecting Andrew to be sitting on the couch. “The last time I saw it was when we left your mom’s house on Thanksgiving. So, like two weeks ago.”

I was taken aback when Andrew wasn’t on the couch where I left him when I went up to get dressed. We had just finished packing and were getting ready to leave his apartment to fly to Los Angeles for a movie premiere he planned on attending. This was the first event I would accompany him to, and I was terrified.

I walked into the kitchen, barely having enough time to round the corner before I heard hushed yelling.

“Jesus, dude. I can’t do anything about that…It’s not my fault if fans are upset, it’s not their life…Yeah I get it, I’m at the top of my career. I can’t get distracted…I’M NOT-I’m not distracted, okay? I’m happy for once, can you stop trying to ruin that?”

“Andrew, is everything ok-“

“Hold on, dude.” He moved the phone from his ear for a moment and huffed. “Yeah, its all good. Just talking with management for a sec.”

I nodded wearily, “Are you sure everything is good? It seems like it’s getting pretty heated.”

“For fucks sake,” He huffed, digging in his jean pocket before throwing his keys at my feet, “Go put your bags in the car.”

I opened my mouth to speak but stopped myself before nodding and picking up his keys.

After I put my bags into the trunk of his car, I leaned against the passenger door. I looked down at his keys, letting my thumb graze a dinky, leather keychain he had bought at a gas station on our first date. I heard the front door open after about fifteen minutes, revealing a disheveled Andrew. He had both his bags in his hands, nodding at me to click the button to open the trunk.

After he put his bags in the car, I opened the passenger door and took a deep breath. Andrew got into the driver’s side, closing the door a bit harder than intending, and sighing.

“I’m sorry babe. It’s just…Management is on my ass about you coming with me to the premiere. They’re just reading comments and all that bullshit, and are just worried about what people will say when they see you there.”

I nodded, placing the keys in his hand and wrapping my hand around his, “Yeah, I kinda figured that’s what it was about. And I get it. I won’t go if you think it’s for the best.”

He threw his head back into the headrest as his face grew sad, “I just wish being with me didn’t make you feel like shit. I want you there with me. And I don’t give a fuck if it upsets some people. If they were truly there for me, they would realize you make me happy.”

I leaned towards the center console, gently pulling Andrew’s neck towards me. I looked him in the eyes before leaning my forehead onto his, “I don’t care what they say either. I’m here for you, and only you.” I breathed deeply before looking into his eyes, “I love you, Andrew. So much.”

“I love you too, Y/N.”

'Til we were dead and gone and buried

Check the pulse and come back swearing it's the same

After three months in the grave

And then you wondered where it went to as I reached for you

But all I felt was shame and you held my lifeless frame

 And I know it's long gone and

There was nothing else I could do

And I forget about you long enough

To forget why I needed to

 The day after the movie premiere both Andrew and I attended, he got whisked away to go to a couple auditions he had been keeping his eye on.

And of course, he landed the role he wanted the most. Which would be a good thing…if filming in LA didn’t start immediately.

“Babe, it’s okay. You can go back to Brooklyn so you’re near your family, stay in my apartment while I’m here, and I will be back in three months. It’s not that long. We can do this.”

I looked up at Andrew with tears filling my eyes, “Not that long for you. It’s different for me. I’m gonna be alone for three months while you get to live out your dream.”

He half-laughed, folding his arms, “What? So now I can’t do my job without upsetting you?”

I rolled my eyes, “No, that’s not what I meant. I just…Three months is a lot, Andrew. It’s gonna be hard not seeing you for that long.”

His shoulders slightly dropped, a frown appearing on his face, “I know, baby. But we’re gonna make it work, okay? I’ll call you every day and we can video chat to say goodnight.” He wrapped his long arms around my seated frame and sighed, “Tonight’s our last night together so, let’s not fight. I wanna show you how much I’m gonna miss you.”

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s safe to say that the frequent texts and calls dwindled down to barely a “Hey” towards the end of the three months.

Being away from him for so long made me feel like I had been single the entire time. No one to tell about my day. No one to come home to after work. No one to say “I love you” to before bed.

Hey babe 

Just landed. Gonna be home in about an hour.

God, I’ve missed you so much.

I sighed, typing back a simple “can’t wait! :)” and locking my phone.

It’s not that I didn’t want to see him. I had been longing to see him since the day he left. It’s just that during the time he was away filming, I had grown more independent. I became used to waking up on my own, running errands on my own, and falling asleep on my own. Used to the lack of texts. Used to being strung along once he finally texts an “I miss you” every couple of days. Yes, I was happy he was coming back. I just didn’t know if it would be the same as before he left.

“Babe! I’m back!”

I stood up from the couch and saw Andrew shrugging all of his bags off his shoulder and making his way to me. “You look so pretty, baby.”

He engulfed me into a hug and I nuzzled my head closer to his chest, “I missed you so much, Andrew. I was starting to think you forgot about me.” I half -joked.

He sighed, wrapping me in his arms tighter, “I’m sorry I didn’t call as much as I said I would. Filming this movie was so time-consuming and I had almost no down time. And it didn’t help that whenever we would talk on the phone, you sounded so sad. It hurt to know I was the reason for you being so upset.”

In a way, what he said made sense. But I also couldn’t help the voice in the back of my head saying that he still could’ve tried harder.

“I know you meant well. I just felt so alone. I felt like we had just burnt out and that was it. We were dead and gone. And you made it seem like that was okay. And it’s not. I deserve a little more than that, Andrew.”

He pulled back slightly, realizing my tears had stained his shirt, “Babe, I’m sorry. I know it was a shitty move on my part. But I promise now that I’m here, it’s gonna be the same as before I left. We are gonna be the old us. I promise.”

I nodded, backing away and taking a deep breath, “It just feels so strange. You actually being here right now.” I looked up at him as I let a small smile creep onto my face. “When you were away… god, this is so embarrassing. I would try to forget about you as much as I could. Sometimes it would work and I would forget why I was even trying to forget you in the first place. And other times, it would just make me think of you even more.”

Andrew laughed, taking a seat on the couch, “It’s not embarrassing, babe. I understand I put you through hell, and I promise you won’t ever feel like that again.” He patted the cushion next to him, beckoning me to be closer to him. “Tonight, we are making up for lost time. Whatever you wanna do, we are doing it. I just want to show you how much you mean to me. And how sorry I really am.”

I nodded my head, feeling the most at ease I had felt since he left three months ago.

“I love you, Y/N. More than you will ever know.”

“I love you too.”

It felt nice to hear him say it first. But it still felt off. Like something was missing. Our hearts were still beating as one, it just seemed to be a lot slower than before.

Hopefully, tonight would change that.

'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night

We're dancing 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light

Down the stairs, I was there

I remember it all too well

 That night did, in fact, make us feel like us again.

Andrew and I ordered takeout from our favorite Chinese restaurant, eating and making small talk while some movie played as background noise.

After dinner, we put on an indie film both of us had shown interest in and sat on the couch cuddled up together.

After the movie finished, Andrew looked at the time and saw it read 12:45 A.M.

He sat up from the position we had previously been in and stretched out his arms above his head, “So what else do you wanna do, babe? It’s not even one yet.”

I shrugged my shoulders, laughing slightly, “I don’t even know. I’m already kinda tired.”

Andrew sat for a second before he looked over at me with a huge grin on his face and stood up, “Come with me.”

I looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, as he pulled out his phone and walked towards the kitchen, “Andrew, what are you doing?”

I got off the couch and walked into the kitchen to see him leaning against the counter. He set his phone down as I walked in and smiled at me, “Care to dance, my love?”

The words hadn’t even left his mouth before “I Only Have Eyes For You” by The Flamingos began playing from the speaker on top of the fridge.

I shook my head, laughing a bit before taking his hand and swaying with him, “You’re too much.”

He chuckled, twirling me around a few times before pulling us both closer to each other, “Is that good or bad?”

“Good. So good, Andrew.”

He lifted my chin up to meet his eyes and looked at me deeply, “I hope you know how much I love you. And if I have to spend the rest of my life showing you, so be it.”

“I love you more.”

The both of us slowly swaying in the kitchen late at night made for a picture-perfect moment. We were together again. We were happy. We were in love.

The memory had been burned into my mind for more than one reason. 

1. Andrew and I were so happy in that moment.

2. It was the last time we were truly happy.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Laisse tomber les filles 1

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape; size kink; age gap; manipulation; tags to be added as story progresses

This is a dark!fic and Lee Bodecker x (short) reader and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Synopsis: You find yourself ostracized on campus by your shyness, but your reticence won’t deter an unwanted suitor.

Note: Just so you’re aware, this takes place during the mid-60s and Lee is a little older than in the movie :) Just so you’re not confused.

Thanks to everyone for reading and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 As usual, I’d appreciate if you let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

You felt alone on campus. 

When you got your acceptance, your parents swore it would be the experience of a lifetime, not to mention the value of education. Always the quiet one, withdrawn and wispy, the thought of moving away from home and living among strangers made you nervous. 

Your first day in the dormitory assured you of your doubts and a semester in, you were still the sore thumb among the six girls in your unit. Your lectures were your sole respite from the pressure to make friends and fit in. You were always early and always intent on the professor.

That was what you were there for after all. If you wanted to hold onto your bursary, you had to maintain your average. You couldn’t be like the other students; you didn’t have rich parents or a trust fund, your degree actually had to mean something.

That night, you walked back from the evening book club meeting alone, as usual. You signed up in hopes you might meet someone like yourself, someone who didn’t just want to drink or smoke. While the members weren’t interested in the party life, they made you feel awful stupid as you struggled to pick up on the same themes in your readings and your sharing skills were never strong. 

When it was your turn to talk about the chapter, you stuttered and muttered until you just gave up. You replayed the disastrous meeting in your head, the used copy of Nabakov under your arm as your bag swung against your side. 

The sky turned a deepening azure as you reached Greek row and heard the muffled crackle of a record player and the buzz of voices from the largest of white houses painted with their respective fraternity colours. It was that new kind of music, the kind that made you want to hop, the kind the Christian club lobbied against on campus green.

As you got further down the street, the late winter crisp crawled up your thick stockings and made you shiver. You got closer to the raucous façade and watched as a couple stumbled out in bubbly conversation and quickly embraced against a pillar of the porch. You kept your head down and focused on the sidewalk.

A flash of blue and the ‘wop’ of a siren brought you to a halt. You stopped just at the corner of the frosty yard, the cloudy breath of the co-eds filling the air as they parted. The cruiser door opened and closed loudly and steady footsteps crossed the street. You watched from the shadows as the officer strode up the walk and stopped at the bottom of the stairs, propping his foot up on the lowest plank.

“You kids are bein’ awfully loud,” his voice carried above the din, he had the local accent that lilted his tone so that even the meanest words were dampened.

“Sorry, officer,” the girl pulled away from the boy and came to the top of the steps, “it’s Friday and we were just having fun--”

“Yeah, yeah,” the cop said as he hooked his thumb on his belt, “y’all know I’m here every week… you turn that racket down or maybe I come in and find something that needs confiscatin’.”

“Got it,” the frat boy said as he stood beside the girl, “I’ll tell Leighton.”

“Ain’t fun for me neither,” the officer slid his foot down to the ground, “I don’t like to ruin you kids’ night.”

“Thank you, officer,” the boy said, “I’m goin’ now.”

“Mhmm, I’ll see you next week then,” the cop scoffed as the boy grabbed the girl and dragged her inside. His voice called through the noise of the crowd for the boy Leighton and the music dulled just enough that it was only a subtle hum, “funny kids.”

The officer turned and chuckled as he reached into his jacket. He paused and his eyes wandered over to you as you stood silently by the edge of the yard. He pulled out a small box and tapped out a toothpick as he smiled at you. He replaced the box in his pocket as he stopped short.

“You headin’ in, girl?” he asked as he placed the toothpick between his lips, “looks like you late for the party.”

“Uh, no, I was just… going home,” you slowly urged yourself forward, “didn’t want to get in your way.”

You tapped towards him in your mary janes as you adjusted the book in your hand. He watched you approach as you kept your head down, just wanting to get past and get on to your dorm.

“Hold up,” he said just as you reached him, “you walkin’ home all alone after dark?”

“My dorm is just… just around the corner,” you said as you stopped and kept your eyes on his shoes, “thank you, officer.”

“Now, I don’t care if it’s just right there, you shouldn’t be alone,” he insisted, “how’s bout a ride, hmm? I gotta make a round of the campus anyway.”

“I can make it on my own…” you began and he tutted, “I mean, thank you, I suppose it’s rude to… um…”

“You’re not from these parts, huh?” he asked, “you got that accent. Real fine.”

“Uh uh,” you uttered, “it’s a nice place though.”

“City is, but the rest of the county...” he remarked, “you must be far from home then.”

“A little,” you shrugged.

“Well,” he rubbed his hands together, “let’s get goin’, it’s cold tonight.”

“Thank you, again,” you slowly followed him as he backed away and turned to cross the street.

“Not at all,” he said warmly as he neared the car and pulled open the back door, “one thing, it’s against policy to let passengers in the front seat.”

“Oh?” you blinked and looked into the cruiser, “I can walk, I--”

“Go on,” he waved you in, “probably comfier back there anyhow.”

You gave a tight-lipped smile and slid into the back seat. You swept your bag up into your lap as the door snapped shut and tucked the book under the flap. The car shifted as he got in the front and he looked at you in the wide rear view mirror.

“Mind my manners, I didn’t even introduce myself, Sheriff Bodecker,” he jingled his keys as he spoke, “and you, honey?”

You hesitated at the added pet name. No one ever called you anything but ‘miss’ or ‘young woman’. You cleared your throat and shifted as you tugged nervously at your scarf as it pressed against your chin. It was damp from your hot breath. You gave him your name and shrank back against the leather.

“This your first year?” he asked as he pulled out and tossed his toothpick out the window.

“Yes, sir,” you answered and you saw his head tilt just slightly as he drove slowly.

“You like it?” he continued.

“It’s… new,” you said stiffly, “I don’t know many people but I… I’m learning a lot.”

“Oh, I hear they teach lots of interesting things these days. Lotta red nonsense,” he sighed, “which way am I goin’, honey?”

“Left, sir, the third building on your right with the orange brick,” you replied.

“No parties to go to?” he snickered as he came up to your dormitory and rolled to a stop.

“I… I’m not much for them, sir,” you said as you tried the handle but the door didn’t budge.

“Sorry, forgot about that,” he got out and opened the door from outside, “there ya go.”

You stepped out and your foot slipped on a patch of thin ice. You caught yourself on the door as he grabbed your arm and helped steady you. You laughed nervously and thanked him.

“Careful there,” he said, “hate for you to mess up that face, honey.”

“I’m alright,” you assured him and carefully drew away from him, “thank you for the ride, I really appreciate it.”

“It’s just my job,” he sniffed, “you know, keepin’ the campus safe… when I can.”

“I’m sure you have much more to worry about than some college kids,” you said.

“Eh, you’d be surprised,” he intoned, “I’m around on Fridays, there’s always noise complaints ‘round here.”

You were quiet, unsure what to say or how to detach yourself gracefully. You just wanted to go inside and listen to the radio as you reread the chapter. You smiled nervously and he looked down at you beneath the streetlight.

“I might see you around,” he said, “and don’t mind givin’ ya another ride, ya know? Can’t have you lost in the dark, heh.”

“It’s nice of you, sir, but I’m grown now, I can take care of myself,” you assured him, though you hated how black it got on this side of campus.

“Well, don’t be shy, give me a wave if you see me,” he closed the door as you sidestepped it, “and you have a good night. Get yourself warmed up with some nice tea… though I know you college kids prefer a harder comfort.”

“I don’t drink,” you said awkwardly, “but, uh… good night, officer.”

You went around the back of the car and stepped up onto the curb. You went up to the grated door and fished out your key. You peeked over your shoulder as you unlocked the door and found the Sheriff watching you over the roof of his car. 

His large-brimmed hat shadowed his face and his constant gaze sent a shiver through you, but that could’ve been the nightly chill. You gave a small wave and let yourself in, quickly hiding behind the inner door, happy to be home safe.

[just-mya-writing]

wasn't sure if you wanted it where reader is in a relationship with each boy, or if there's just a crush, so I did both cuz why not

Fem!Reader Casually Mentions she Masturbates in Front of the Boys

Kyle (if dating)

Bless this boy

He was picking you up with the plan to take you out to eat

You were running just a liiiittle late

But Kyle is on a schedule

No tardiness allowed

So you knew what to expect when you hopped into the gingers car

His expression a mix between annoyance and amusement

Melted into something sweeter as you kissed him on the cheek

He couldn't even scold you for being twenty minutes late

You clicked your seat belt in place as you should always do as he started the ignition

"So what took so long? Make-up? Getting dressed?" he oh so innocently asked

"Nah, I was masturbating" you jokingly responded

oh

oh dear god

Kyle's mind went blank and his brain shut down

You looked over at him when you realized the car wasn't moving

He sat upright, hands clenching the steering wheel, with his mouth slightly ajar

He was blushing

He was drooling

"...Kyyyyyle..."

"Ah...y-yeah?"

He seemed to snap out of it for a sec, turning to look at you while wiping his mouth

You smirked at him

"Whatcha thinking bout?" You asked with a devilish smile

Kyle turned away quickly, face becoming hotter

"I think...you know"

"Oh?" You smiled, unbuckling your seat belt "I do?"

He sunk down in his seat, hands still on the wheel of the motionless vehicle

"Mmhmm..." he bit his bottom lip as he glanced over at you

His entire face turned two shades of red as you moved from your seat to his

Prying his hands off the wheel and moving the seat back, you sat on your boyfriend's lap, staring into his glossy eyes

"I think you should tell me Kyle" you whispered, leaning close to his face. "What were you thinking when I told you I was masturbating?"

His hands were fidgeting at this point, trying to keep away from your thighs

"What would you think..." you continued, licking your lips mid sentence "if I told you I was thinking about you while I touched myself?"

That finally made him come undone

The two of you spent a long time in his car

Missing your dinner reservations entirely

(if not dating)

Flustering Kyle was so much fun to do

Also incredibly easy

You decided it'd be funny to make him turn as red as his hair while in class one day

"Hey Kyle! I know what I want you to get me for my birthday!"

"...your birthday isn't for another-"

You shut him up by thrusting your laptop in his face, showing him the site and item you were requesting

It was a dildo.

A large, black, twelve inch, pulsating, self lubricating dildo

It was on sale

He immediately started sputtering and looking away from the screen

"Wh-what the hell do you need that for?!" He squeaked

You tilted your head to the side in mock confusion

"To masturbate with...duh."

He immediately covered his face, trying to shake the dirty thoughts of one of his best friends away

You tried not to laugh as he almost groaned out your name

"Pleeeease stoooop" he pleaded, face peaking out just enough to see him blushing intensely

"..."

"...so no dildo?"

Stan (dating)

You were hanging out with your close friends one surprisingly warm day

You had convinced everyone to get some bubble tea

So now everyone was hanging around the local cafe, talking about literally nothing

Jokes, stories, and insults flew by so quickly, there was never a lull in the conversation

Stan had his arm around your waist

His grip tightening anytime you spoke and had all the boys look at you

Somehow someway, the conversation went on a huge tangent and y'all were talking about porn stars

Everyone was naming the hottest actors in multiple categories

You piped in with one you personally liked

The boys went quiet as you took a sip of your drink

"Uh...what?"

You looked at the boys curiously

Kenny had a weird smile on his face

Kyle was blushing

Cartman looked like his brain was malfunctioning

Your boyfriend started at you wildly

"You...you watch porn?" Stan asked hesitantly

"What the hell for?!" Cartman squeaked

"Sex education" you said deadpanned. "I watch when I masturbate! Duh" you rolled your eyes

"Oh ho hoo, you're a dirty little girl, aren't you?" Kenny smirked, earning a deadly glare from Stan

You just shrugged your shoulders

"Y-you can't just say stuff like that out loud!" Kyle sputtered

"How the fuck do you even do it without a dick?" Cartman argued

sigh

"Well you see, I usually start with just two fingers and-"

"Alright! That's enough, we're leaving now" Stan announced, grabbing the hand you were about to use to demonstrate and speed walking away

The comments your friends made behind you only made you laugh and cause Stan to walk faster

The blush on your boyfriend's face becoming more apparent, as well as the boner

(if not dating)

"Lalala, can't hear you, nope. I'm not listening..."

Stan was covering his ears, eyes tightly shut while you continued to laugh

"Awww, c'mon Stan. What's wrong with wanting to feel good?" You joked, bumping his shoulder

The two of you were relaxing on his couch playing video games

You didn't realize casually joking about masturbating to one of characters would cause Stan to break down, yet here you were

"Staaaaaaan, c'mon, we gotta finish" you laughed, trying to look at his face

He was definitely blushing

He grumbled incoherently, picking up his controller. Refusing to look at you as the game continued

...

"...I'd masturbate to that character too."

"Please! Why?!"

Stan couldn't exactly focus on the game anymore

Kenny (dating)

ohhhh man

This boy

He is personally offended if you touch yourself without him

You're just laying with him in your room

Actually, you're laying on the floor, while he searches for your "secret drawer" full of "secret toys"

You can't help but shake your head and joke with him

"I bet you have a purple dragon dildo" he snickered "and at least, like, three vibrators"

You laughed, nodding your head

"Oh wow, yup, you got me. I have a very large collection"

Hearing the sarcasm in your voice, Kenny looked over at you with a smirk

"Heh. Knew it"

He went back to his fake search, continuing to mess with you while you went along with it

"I can't believe I haven't even found a bottle of lube yet" he sighed, faking disappointment

"Yeahhh..." you mumbled, picking at your nails. "I used a lot of toys last night, you might wanna check under the bed"

When you didn't hear any response or movement from the boy, you looked up, angling your neck to look at him

His sad, upside-down figure looked back at you

Puppy eyes, lip out and quivering, he looked like a child that was just told they couldn't have any sweets

"...you masturbated...without me?" His voice raised an octave and he added a few fake sniffles "I thought you loved me..."

You held back a chuckle before turning to lay on your stomach

"I'm sorry baby, I was needy"

"I'm needy!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air

"Awww, you poor thing..." you shook your head. "I'll remember that for the next time"

That made him perk up as he shuffled closer to you

"Next time? When is this illusive next time?" He asked, smile growing wider

You paused to think for a second, sitting up

"...you got condoms on you?"

"Duh"

Turns out that "next time" was a lot closer than either of you thought

(if not dating)

He also casually mentions masturbating

Frequently suggests you two masturbate together

Always laughs when you say it in front of the boys cause watching them freak out is the best kind of entertainment

You and him had a sort of friendly competition to see who could get the other flustered

You won when you described how you thought of him while you touched yourself the other day

was it a lie? the truth will never be revealed

Kenny.exe has stopped working

Congrats, you broke the town slut

Cartman (dating)

NOPE

This boy is too immature to even entertain the idea of you playing with yourself

He doesn't even understand female anatomy

He's never even seen you naked before

So when you oh so casually mention a certain past time of yours, his mind just goes blank

He can't even picture it

His sweet, darling, perfect girlfriend

Masturbating?

"Only dudes masturbate! What the hell are you lying for?!"

Bless your patience

You gotta explain

He doesn't even know where the g-spot is

He didn't even know what the clit was

bully him

next time he’s with the gang

he just obnoxiously goes, “hey fuckers, did you know my girlfriend masturbates??? isn’t that weird?” 

congratulations, guess what your friends are gonna be thinking about for the next forever three days 

(If not dating)

?

??

???

he’s

he’s just

why are you telling him this, why is he listening, why is he thinking

he still thinks girls have balls, like

why 

is personally offended each time you allude to it

[heytheredeann]

Since there're a lot of AUs all around, how 'bout this: TMFU Witcher AU where Illya's the witcher and Napoleon's his bard (or feel free to make it the other way around, if you like it better). Do you have any headcanons/ideas, pls? Thnx.

LOOOL yes yes thank you, I love coming up with thoughts for AUs. Honestly, both possibilities are great, so you are getting both LOL

Witcher!Illya + bard!Napoleon thoughts:

Napoleon is a lover of the arts and adventure, he likes travelling around to share his music and to meet new people and to just be free to explore as much of life as he can. He’s actually very popular, because he’s great at his job and he’s too charming for his own good. He likes meeting people and having some company, but he maintains that he travels better alone;

Illya is a witcher with a strong sense of Duty and Dedication to his job, going around the Continent chasing monsters and trying not to get killed. It gets pretty lonely but he maintains that he works better alone anyway;

the first time they meet it’s because Napoleon happens to be in a town where some major monster disaster happens. He sees Illya doing some dangerous stunt and he’s like “Immediately I love him”;

it’s not that Napoleon is prone to bad decision making okay. and he isn’t reckless or “out of his mind” as some people very rudely put it. it’s just that the witcher is really handsome and he probably has seen so much cool shit and look Napoleon is pretty sure that the guy needs someone to lighten his mood, look at him. And since said witcher just saved his life with his daring heroics it only stands to reason that he would offer him a drink, right? And if he can use that as an excuse to convince Mr Handsome Witcher to let him travel with him for a little bit... he isn’t going to complain;

one thing that I think fits Illya very well about witchers is that people would probably be afraid of and intimidated by him (not knowing that he is actually a cupcake, of course), which I think is the case in the movie too. He doesn’t want to be scary, but it’s not like he can keep people from reacting Like That to him. And then some random bard slides in the seat next to him and offers him a drink;

look, Illya doesn’t need company. If anything, this is probably going to be an annoyance. He can’t be responsible for some bard trailing after him. Yet, Napoleon doesn’t seem at all intimidated by him, he annoys him into telling him where he’s going next, very theatrically goes “OH what a COINCIDENCE, I’m going there too!” and Illya has had a long day, he isn’t going to argue with him. He is probably going to realize that trailing after a witcher is no fun soon enough anyway;

cut to like two days later and Illya is like “I’ve only had my bard for two days and a half, and he’s been annoying me for most of this time, but if anything happened to him I’d kill everyone in this room and then myself”;

this scenario would include:

probably Napoleon having a crisis at some point, because he only meant to hang around Illya for a bit, get some cool stories out of it, and then he blinked and he found himself extremely attached, oh no;

Napoleon singing annoying little tunes when he is pissed at Illya;

Illya bodily throwing Napoleon into a river, clothes and all, when he keeps complaining about needing a bath and he starts singing one of the aforementioned annoying little tunes about it;

Napoleon making up very unflattering songs about people that are mean to Illya and being a complete uncaring little shit that smiles very innocently when these people then get mad at him (“Oh my, but it was all in good fun, sir, I never meant to offend!” is a phrase that usually preceeds Illya breaking up a brawl);

the funny thing about Napoleon is that he starts so many brawls and yet he seems to always somehow slip out of them unscathed, or mostly unscathed anyway. Illya finds it a little irritating and extremely endearing;

Illya being very protective of his tiny bard and looming over people to show it. Napoleon loves it, 10/10;

a lot of arguing about whether Napoleon is, in fact, tiny or not. Napoleon insists he’s not, he towers over most people, why is this even an argument?! Illya just picks him up like he weights nothing, throws him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and walks away;

Napoleon getting drunk and getting super emotional about Illya spending his life fighting terrible evil monsters and always trying so hard for everyone and people thinking he’s scary too while he’s actually all soft and mushy inside and he should get hugs. He tries to turn it into a song but he keeps forgetting the melody and sobbing mid-lines. Illya ends up half-carrying him to their room while pretending not to be extremely touched;

Napoleon annoying Illya into getting a day off every now and then, so that he can relax and enjoy himself for a change. There’s a lot of playing Gwent involved, which Illya is actually extremely good at, much to Napoleon’s frustration (though Illya looking all smug is still very cute).

Bard!Illya + witcher!Napoleon thoughts:

I know that this one is not the immediate combination that comes to mind but hear me out. Napoleon is a witcher, coping with his pretty horrific past and life through humour and trying to retain some agency in his life by enjoying nice things (such as buying nice clothes for instance) even though he pretty much has an obligated path;

Illya is a shy awkward bard who actually sings and plays really well, people do love listening to him, but when it comes to the public relations part of the job? Terrible. He hates it. He just plays and disappears as quickly as possible;

Napoleon actually sees him making an awkward and fairly rude exit when there are some women fawning over him, and he’s like “woof, what an asshole”, even though he did spend the entire performance being Very Interested, obviously;

when Napoleon gets back to travelling guess whom he finds heading in the exact same direction, though on foot? But the bard from before, obviously. Now, could Napoleon just pass him by and go his own merry way? Of course he could. Is he going to? Nah;

as it turns out, bantering with the bard is surprisingly fun, and he has a really nice smile. Napoleon low-key wants to keep him;

Illya finds that he minds the company a lot less than he would have guessed: Napoleon is fun and once they get in the next town he also finds out that he’s a magnet for social interaction and that Illya can just stay there a little to the side and the People(TM) are suddenly not his problem. immaculate. So when Napoleon finds that he has a contract around there and says goodbye to him, expecting him to go mind his own business and proceed to the next town because he hadn’t meant to stop there to begin with, Illya just... figures he should wait. at least to see if he makes it out okay;

Napoleon does make it out okay and he’s also extremely touched and delighted that Illya waited for him. At this point, it stands to reason that they would travel together to the next town over;

this scenario would include:

Napoleon discovering that Illya is actually very nice and soft and revelling in how kind he is to him, it makes him feel loved;

Illya singing to him to make him feel better when Napoleon gets injured;

Napoleon getting drunk and dancing to Illya’s songs when he’s performing. He usually manages to charm people out of being too scared of him, but let’s just say that no one in that entire town can take him seriously anyway after that. Illya finds it extremely adorable;

Illya purposefully getting monster facts wrong in the first drafts of his songs because Napoleon is a monster lore nerd and it’s fun to see him go on long tangets about how aCTUALLY-;

Napoleon doing stuff like really casually and noisily cleaning his swords in a corner when people are being mean to Illya. When said people turn to him he just smiles innocently and stares until they get the message;

Illya being very reasonable about Napoleon’s requests NOT to follow him on hunts: he is not a witcher and he doesn’t want to make his job harder of course, so he will stay away, where it’s safe. Except if Napoleon is like five minutes late compared to the estimate he gave him Illya just grabs his stuff and goes looking for him. Usually Napoleon is fine and complains to him that the job sometimes requires IMPROVISATION and that if he’s a little late it doesn’t mean he’s DYING, but Illya is just like *shrug* “Until the day it does mean you are dying”;

big scary witcher Napoleon being the little spoon. Illya just really wants to cuddle and protect him from the world.

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS DAYLIGHT Vol. 1 Sakamaki Ayato [Track 2]

Original title: 夜の湖

Source: Diabolik Lovers Daylight Vol. 1 Sakamaki Ayato

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Midorikawa Hikaru

Translator’s note: If there’s one thing Rejet knows to do with these CDs, it’s keeping us on the edge of our seats! The final bit of this CD was actual one of the voice samples released prior to its release and I remember being extremely intrigued by it back then! Even while listening to the actual CD, it got me super curious and I couldn’t wait to listen to the next track to find out what is going on with the MC.

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5 + Epilogue

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 2: The Lake at Night

The two of you are walking through the forest until you eventually reach the lake.

“...Is this the place you’ve been dyin’ to visit? It’s just a regular old lake, no? There’s seriously nothin’ special ‘bout it at all...It was stupid of me to even expect anythin’ from you in the first place.”

You explain.

“Haahー!? The sunrise...? ...Don’t tell me you want to stay here until dawn!?”

You nod.

“You’ve gotta be shittin’ me. Do you even know how much time’s left till sunrise!? ...See you.”

Ayato tries to leave but you quickly stop him, insisting you can chat till the sun rises.

*Rustle*

“What? Don’t give me that nonsense! Why did we need to come all the way over here just to have a chat? We can just talk at home!”

You shake your head.

“Haah? There’s other people around then? ...Oh. In other words, you wanted an excuse to be all alone with me?”

You elaborate on your idea.

“A quiet time, huh...? I thought you liked things to be lively though. Well, I won’t deny those dudes are hella annoyin’. I turn my back for one second and they try to make a move on you. I’ll admit we can never truly feel at ease in that kinda environment.”

He plops down on the grass.

“...There we go. ...Oi, hurry up and lend me your lap already. You don’t expect me to get comfortable without a pillow, right?

You take a seat next to him as he rests his head in your lap.

*Rustle rustle*

“...Hmph.”

You smile and admit enjoying these times together. 

“...It’s nice to sit back and relax at times, huh? Damn, you really sounded like a granny just now. I don’t understand. This is just dull, you might as well be dead. ...I mean, you humans have a limited lifespan, right? Then doesn’t this feel like a waste? Isn’t it normal to want to enjoy yourself, maybe have some good food or something? ...Well, I’m a Vampire and immortal so I don’t really care either way.”

You explain.

“Hmph. If you like this, then whatever. You’re so easy to please. (1) But don’t come complaining to me afterwards.”

You chuckle. 

“Don’t laugh, geez. ...Actually, you’ve been actin’ kinda off. Like you’re in bad shape...or lackin’ energy. Did you eat somethin’ which had gone bad or somethin’?”

You retaliate.

“I wonder. Hehehe...Well, seems like you still have the energy to talk back at least. ...By the way, you remember the promise we made, right? I told you I’d suck your blood if you failed to entertain me, didn’t I?”

You flinch.

“Look at that pathetic look on your face. Did you think I had forgotten?”

You try and bribe him with the lap pillow. 

“Hmph. You’ll stay like this a lil’ longer? All you’re doing is lending me your lap though? You haven’t been tellin’ me any interestin’ stories either. ...Are you perhaps teasin’ me on purpose?”

You quickly shake your head.

“In that case, it makes sense.”

You frantically flail with your arms while trying to explain yourself. 

“Hehe...Hehehe...No need to get so desperate trying to deny it. Your funny expression is only becomin’ even more hilarious. I’ll content myself with that for now and leave the real fun for later. Guess you should be grateful to your own face.”

You say thank you.

“...Aah? Why would you thank me for that? Lemme tell you, but I prefer suckin’ your blood after scarin’ the livin’ hell out of you. It’s just not the time for that yet, that’s all. Heh!”

The wind blows in the background.

“...For real though, what are you gonna do ‘bout this depressin’ mood? You should take some responsibility and talk to me. Anythin’ will do at this point. You wanted to enjoy some idle talk, right? Come on.”

You bring up the past.

“What? Our first meeting? You really think I remember all of that? ...Ahー But if I recall correctly...I was nappin’ in the living room while the thunder roared outside...Right! I was woken up because you made a huge fuss.”

You tell him you were truly shocked back then.

“Haha...You mistook me for a dead person, didn’t you? Goin’ on ‘bout callin’ an ambulance or some shit. Bit of an overreaction, don’t you think? Yours Truly doesn’t just die! 

Well, I doubt you knew we were Vampires at that point. I was hella thirsty back then, so when an energetic-looking prey walked right up to me, I obviously had to go straight for a bite. Yet, that damn Four-Eyes had the nerve to get in my way!”

You tell him you nearly forgot about that.

“Excuse me? Don’t be forgettin’ ‘bout that when you’re the one who brought up this topic!”

You admit to being surprised Ayato recalls so much.

“I remember plenty of other things as well! You better don’t underestimate my memory! ...Actually, why don’t I help you remember a few more embarrassing moments? No need to be modest. Whatcha so afraid of?”

You flinch.

“Hehe...Are you scared of me?”

You hesitate.

“What? If you’ve got somethin’ to say, then spit it out.”

You explain.

“What do you mean you’re no longer scared of me like you were at first? You flinched just now!”

You frown.

“Why can’t you put it into words well? Don’t tell me you’re makin’ fun of me?”

You shake your head.

“Then what is it?”

You try and put your feelings into words. 

“Haah!? I don’t understand what you mean with ‘because we understand each other now’. Geez. ...But well, there’s a few things I learnt through living together with you as well, I guess. Humans are weak. They die so easily. They’ve got a limited life span as well. ...That’s not all. They love to fuss ‘bout the details and they’re so infuriatingly slow and clumsy. They get upset over the most trivial things or cry over nothing. Also...Sometimes the strangest things make them happy. Furthermore, they’d go through the trouble of comin’ to these kinda places. Ahー What a drag.”

You thank Ayato for keeping up with you. 

“Che...Why are you thanking me now? I really don’t understand that sorta behavior of yours. Fuck.”

You ask if he would like to head back soon. 

“Aah...? What do you mean ‘soon’? Of course I want to head home already! ...But well, you still want to stay here a lil’ longer, right? ...Just the two of us.”

You nod.

“Oh? You’re bein’ surprisingly honest. Do you want to be with me that badly?”

You nod again.

“Heh. You just said you want to be together forever, huh? Fool. You really think I’d let you go? You can no longer leave me. ...Not ever.”

You suddenly frown.

“What? Got a problem with that?”

You quickly turn your head and try to make excuses. 

“No point in tryin’ to hide it. You’re an open book after all. ...Don’t tell me you actually believe you could get away from me?”

You shake your head.

“If that’s not it, then don’t look so damn anxious. ...Heh. Actually, I bet you were thinking that you can’t live forever?”

Your eyes widen in surprise before you ask him how he knows.

“Heh. I know everything that goes on in that head of yours. ...Don’t be worryin’ about those kind of stupid things. Did you drag me all the way out here to talk ‘bout that shit? ...You didn’t, right? Pretty sure I told you to entertain me.”

Ayato suddenly pins you down.

*Thud*

“I bet you’re rackin’ your brain over complicated shit again? Good job gettin’ yourself pinned down. ...Just so you know, there’s no point in tryin’ to cover it up. Even if you keep quiet, I can tell by lookin’ in your eyes. Che...! I should just be the only thing on your mind. Well, I’ll just force myself inside your head if I need to. ...I’ll make it so you can’t worry about anything unnecessary.”

*Sluuuuurp*

“Mmh...”

*Sluuuuurp*

“I’m not lettin’ you go any time soon...So brace yourself.”

*Sluuuuurp*

“Nnh...”

*Sluuuuurp*

“...Hah. Come on. Sit up already. Don’t you understand? I’m givin’ you special permission to sit down on my lap. Hurry up...”

*Rustle rustle*

“Say…Doin’ this doesn’t feel half bad, does it? …Just admit it.”

*Sluuuuurp*

"Come on. Don’t close your eyes. Make sure to watch…how you’re bein’ turned into a mess.”

*Sluuuuurp*

"Hehehe…Seems like you’re ‘bout to lose it from sheer excitement. Show me more of that expression.”

*Sluuuuurp*

"Don’t you dare let the other guys see you like this.”

You whimper.

“Listen up. You’re fated to continue havin’ your blood sucked by me like this. Both now and in the future. Foreverーー”

You nod.

“Heh. Glad you understand.”

Ayato gets up and wipes some dirt off his pants.

“…Woah. The wind has picked up. …Oi, we should probably head home soon. I don’t want to get nagged at later.”

You remain unmoved.

“Come on. Get up already. Or has your back thrown out? …Guess you leave me no other choice.”

*Rustle*

“Come on. Gimme your hand. …Hah? What’s wrong? Grab it already.”

You shake your head.

“Oi, there really is somethin’ off ‘bout you? Come on.”

Ayato grabs your hand.

“…Eh? Doesn’t your hand…feel colder than usual? What’s wrong, for real? …Can’t you hear me? Oi! …Idiot! Don’t close your eyes! Answer me! Chichinashi!!

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) Ayato calls her 無欲 or ‘muyoku’, which is used to describe someone who is free from any ‘worldly desires’. 

[stillgirlfrommars]

you’ve got news

So, I already talked about this with @missmorwen​ and I know I don’t have the time to draw and make an actual comic out of it, BUT I cannot stop thinking about this SamSteve-post-engdame-fix-it story (with a dash of BuckyNat, ‘cause that’s just who I am) which is kinda crack and very rom-com (a bit you’ve got mail) inspired and doesn't make much sense, because... PLOT HOLES but * sigh * I kinda wanna share at least the idea so - bear with me:

So, instead of Nat dying, Steve sacrifices his Captain America powers on Vormir and comes back as Skinny!Steve and starts running a political blog called you’ve-got-news in secret, uncovering all kinds of shady business/corruption and becoming the bane of existence of every politician and greedy CEO - but it takes a while for his friends to figure out it's him who’s running that increasingly popular blog (which the new Captain America is actually a big fan of ;)). And the way that happens is as follows:

So, Steve almost died at the end of Endgame. The idiot (affectionate) of course still wanted to fight Thanos, but even with Thor’s Hammer, he took some serious, serious injuries which led to a tough talk with Sam, Nat and Bucky

Like I imagine, that while Steve would not have any regrets whatsoever about giving up his powers, he would still need some time to come to terms with the fact that he won’t be able to participate in the action like he used to. Even though, he actually wants and knows... it’s time to ... start something new, it’s still a process. So, there he is, trying to figure out who he is without the mantle of Captain America, re-defining the way he can and will fight against bullies in the future (cause there is no way he’s gonna stop that).

And to the surprise of everyone, Steve actually doesn’t press for participating in Avenger-style-fights anymore (he still does some of the practical mission planning and shit like that) but most importantly, he starts taking up new hobbies, like cooking or old hobbies like drawing - and he seems happier than he has in a long time, and yeah maybe it’s a bit too good to be true, if Sam starts thinking about it. But, hey, Steve finally seems to be happy so -

Meanwhile, Sam still becomes the new Captain America, and Steve is there while he is adjusting, finding himself in that role. He is there when Sam needs to talk things through, and yeah, it would still be a process like in tfatws series, but ... a little bit less alone, I guess. 

So, the new Captain America fights alongside Nat and Bucky - and it’s good, they work surprisingly well together, but also: those two are stuck right in the middle of a weird assassin!flirting situation (I’m imagening a lot of veeery intense staring at the other while cleaning their weapons or beating someone up, innuendos en masse, dark humour etc.). And frankly, it’s getting on Sam's nerves because they seem to be so oblivious about the whole damn thing. Neither of them is actually admitting to anything, no, they are too busy teasing him about the ‘crush’ he has developed on that mysterious dude who is running the famous political-youve-got-news-blog that gained momentum a while ago and is currently keeping all the corrupt politicians and CEOs on their toes.

So, yeah, Sam might have been caught a couple of times reading or reciting from that blog because - it has actually turned into a pretty efficient way of mobilising people to demonstrate for change and it did give him some tip-offs in regards to who the bad guy really was and yeah. But it’s not a crush... Sam just really likes reading the blog posts, okay. That dude seems pretty cool and they share the same moral code, so... whatever.

What Nat and Bucky and Steve don't know (and he’ll never tell them), is that Sam is actually kiiiiinda already frequently talking with the guy who runs the blog. Anonymously on both ends, of course (because for good reasons both of them are pretty careful about giving away information concerning their identities). And in a way that whole anonymity-thing makes it a lot easier to talk about stuff he finds harder to admit to the people who he knows directly. So, you could say, blog-guy has kinda become Sam's internet friend, but not his crush, no.

Honestly, the crush he is more concerned about (that he also isn't planning on telling anyone about any time soon, cause Bucky would just tease him and Nat would start scheming) is, well, it’s Steve. Because, damn, he likes their get-togethers a lot, the meals Steve's cooking are honestly to die for. They watch baseball together, they do museum-trips... And the way they can talk about (almost) everything... He just feels understood and... yeah, loved (maybe not in the way that he wishes for, but still) and it’s nice to see Steve so happy and okay, maybe it’s getting a bit out of control because Sam took Steve with him to visit Sarah and his nephews and Sarah kinda saw right through his act of ‘hey, this is my best friend’ and ‘what do you mean, I don’t have feelings- okay. Yeah maybe I do’ and told him in no uncertain terms to fucking do something about it and get his shit together.

The thing is, he’s got it bad. But Sam is also torn, because this is the best fucking friendship he's ever had and he does not want to jeopardise that. So, in the end he ends up talking about this with his Internet friend... about how he kinda has this huge crush on his best friend, and his Internet friend is like, ‘TELL ME ABOUT IT, big fucking same here UGH. And I feel like I’m being SO obvious about it all. It’s honestly embarrassing. My other best friend keeps teasing me ‘bout it and tells me to just go for it, but that guy still hasn’t managed to ask out the girl he’s interested in, so, what does he know, right?’. And Sam laughs - at least he’s not alone.

So the days go by (Sam’s pining only increases, Steve took him to a wine tasting the other night and he almost... in his drunk state... almost... but he didn’t) until one day, while blog-guy and Sam are chatting, all of the sudden the blog-guy is like, ‘Shit, I think someone's breaking into my apartment’ and then like, ‘Okay, yes they are’ - and Sam's like, ‘call 911′, and blog-guy writes back ‘mmh think I can handle them’ (and Sam’s like ‘WTF... I know way too many people with zero regards for their own well-being, myself included’)

But then blog-guy is not answering anymore, so Sam frantically calls up Nat who rushes to his flat and Sam says: ‘You need to find out where that IP adress is located ASAP - the dude with that famous blog is in danger.’

And Nat does that multitasking thing where she’s working on the problem while ribbing Sam about the fact that, apparently, Captain America's Internet bestie is that famous blog dude, and- 'Are you sure it’s not a crush?'

But after another minute, Nat sighs and is like, ‘I can't find the location, this thing is encrypted af, it’s impossible.’ Suddenly, she notices something about the setup of the encryption and-, ‘Hang on a second, it was me who set this up for someone back in 2011.′ And as she slips on her jacket, she says to Sam, ‘Come on. I know where we have to go!’

So they make their way to what turns out is Steve's (!!!!) apartment and find him in the middle of a fight against over half a dozen heavily armed people, and yeah - he’s actually doing pretty okay for himself ‘cause he outsmarted a couple of them, but also- they kind of outnumber him, so Nat and Sam get to work.

And Sam doesn't even have time to fully register what that means re:blog-guy until they have successfully defeated the bad guys. After that's done, Steve is like, ‘Thanks guys, but how the hell did you know I was in trouble? Nat... you didn’t bug my apartment, did you??’

And Nat tstsk and then she just laughs because this is priceless and OF CoURSE it is Steve who is behind that blog... (she's a bit mad at herself for not figuring it out sooner, and a bit sad that Steve didn't feel like he could tell her, and that he assumes she has is flat bugged but, also,... kinda impressed.) But then she looks at him with a warm smile on her face, shaking her head, saying, ‘No, I didn’t, Steve.’ Her gaze wanders back and forth between Steve and Sam and she humms- 'That actually makes so much sense oh my god.' So, she leaves them ‘to talk’ ;) and for Sam to explain everything’ - and then it’s just the two of them.

And Sam does explain everything and is like, 'So you're that Blog dude, erm...' He's scratching the back of his neck, cheeks flushed, 'Turns out, we've been talking for months over that blog of yours. I'm (insert-Sam’s-username-here).'- and Steve's eyes go wide and you can literally see him processing that information right then and there and he's sputtering out a light laugh, and he's like 'Hang on a second... I... umm, okay, I gotta ask. So, that best friend you've got a crush on...' Well, it’s now or never -'Is you, yeah..', Sam admits and starts, 'and....' They both laugh again and Steve nods and just says- 'yeah, it’s you, too.'

And then they kiss and yaaay, happy ending!!!

And then the epilogue would be about them having a nice dinner with Bucky and Nat a couple of months later, and the whole time, Sam and Steve are being very much in loveTM. The three guys are standing in the kitchen, while Natasha is in the bathroom and Bucky's making a funny quib about how sickeningly cute Sam and Steve are together - and Sam, well, Sam just raises his eyebrows and is like, 'You know what, you're not allowed to say anything bout that, you and Romanoff have been acting waaaaay worse over the last year. At least we got our shit together in the end, what's your excuse, you are obviously absolutely in love with her!', and of course Nat chooses that exact moment to enter the room, hand on Bucky's waist, dropping a kiss on his cheek and is like, 'What do you mean, we've been dating for 6 months?' And Steve laughs and Sam groans bc .... he loves his friends, he does, but clearly, CLEARLY they ALL have to work on their communication skills!

The End.

[shinygoku]

very intrigued to see what you think of Henry!!! ^v^ (character ask!)

Another day, another Big Green! (The others are Piccolo and Thunderbird 2 lmao)

First impression

"Green ver of that one big creepy dude" (Look, when I was Babby I saw a Gordon picture somewhere that minorly spooked me lmao)

Impression now

Ahh, Henry! In some ways, very much like Duck! Green, long nose, popular with the fans and I'm here like Yeah he's a good fixture of the series lol

Ok well, maybe I should disclaim that he's not one of my favourites, which is partly as I guess it's a bit hard to nail down his personality.

His, for lack of a better term, Illness Arc is fascinating and oddly Real for a series about machinery. Something's genuinely amiss with him, but the lack of a clear cause (at least, to the other engines, who presumably don't know he was built from stolen, incomplete plans and the logical issues that would arise from that) and his frequent complaints turn the other characters off wanting to hear about it, thinking he's exaggerating. Then the Welsh Coal stopgap is found! Then the very next story he has a horrible crash but it was a blessing in disguise because then he's rebuilt as a Black 5 and his health issues are gone forever! (ain't we envious of machines now?) Until Lazy Writer Disease sets in Meta-wise, but more on that later.

I think it's safe to say that it's Entry Level RWS Knowledge to know Awdry's frustrations with the character, and it is kind of hilarious how much he tried to write him out, and iirc Henry wound up with the most appearances and 'his' book has 5 stories instead of the uniform 4 for some reason. But it seems it takes further Lazy Corporate Mandates to actually write him out in BwBa which really sucks and is doing such an iconic lad horribly dirty.

Pictured: Henry as seen by Awdry/Mattel, who are about to just shove him out of the story with varying degrees of success.

Well yeah, for me I can't really settle on an opinion because he never seems to have anything solid after the Rebuild. He's kind of the nicer one out of the Terrible Trio, but sometimes he's as bitchy and obnoxious as Gordon without prompting. He seems to be pretty unlucky and sometimes his misfortunes are self inflicted, but they don't commit to this bit. He gets his (in)famous forest, much to Awdry's chagrin, but it does offer a nice gentler side to him. He also seems to be the main Fast Freight engine, particularly more Fish shipments, but this doesn't really inform his character. He all too often feels like a Spare, Green Gordon who's less full of himself (but still gets boughts of Envy and inflated self importance, like Tenders for Henry), and that's a shame because this nebulous lack of anything concrete seems to be why Bad TatMR Writing diagnosed him with Need Welsh Coal again for quite a long time (dunno if that only changed when Mattel/Brenner came in or not). But then the US dub makes him sound like w--dy all-n and that's the worst treatment of all! I kind of understand the temptation to make him the resident worrier but HUUURGHGHH NOT LIKE THAT

So yeah, the better characterization of him needs to strike a good balance of him being ...I guess a Gentle Giant, who enjoys nature and maybe is a smidge prone to bouts of feeling jealous. Maybe catches the engine version of colds more than the others because the early morning runs in the freezing air? I dunno, I'm trying to combine several traits that have been in Henry but never seemed to stick. But done properly, I could really get behind a nice, faceted character like that~

Favourite moment

It feels a bit mean to say, but it's due to the strength of the episode itself with the fantastic visuals, godly music and shocking drama (with a nice bonus of Correct Head Codes!) that put Flying Kipper at the top of this list!

Another part of this ep, is the beginning where the Driver is saying "Don't tell Gordon, but if you pull this nicely, the Fat Controller may let you pull the Express!". Like, that really squeezes my heart, because his driver is rooting for him, the prospect of a better regarded job is floating there, and knowing what eventually happens, it's like... oof! But in a good way.

...Also I think that must have been something Awdry added after deciding not to kill him off because having that bit and for it to all go up in flames would have made children and me extremely upset and he would have been buried under letters of complaint from angry mothers of the time.

Idea for a story

Other than the overly simple and grimdark "he was in fact killed that day" type coma inducers, I suppose the Two Henries theory being explored could offer some interesting interactions.

Like, what if the Henry who rolls back into The Big Station is instantly accepted and in fact, liked more than og Henry? What if the other engines instead couldn't fully relax around him? Were his memories perfect? Too Perfect?

And what would happen if OG Henry were later discovered... (and in what condition?) Dun Dun Dun dododo Dun!

The thing is, it is hard to really explore this because it's innately such a dark, heavy concept. I don't enjoy the 'Authoritarian Hellscape" lameass interpretation by normies. I like my silly workcom on the rails with warm fuzzies and funny antics, thank you very much!

Unpopular opinion

Some of his faces (even before the worsening first inflicted by Magic Railroad) are pretty weird looking! Maybe cause his forehead is so huge and smooth, but maybe just the odd mouth shapes. I like the variety, but they aren’t what I’d call cute... I find myself thinking ‘Moon Face’ looking at him [even with the lack of craters lmao] and oops I think I missed the weirdest grin of all, but here’s a small sample anyway

Favourite relationship

Not a favourite, per say, but some of the more friction-ish interactions he has with Thomas or Percy are pretty funny. With Thomas’ immortal flippant disregard to viaduct safety, Percy retorting that engines with Proper Funnels do, in fact, need scarves, something Henry wouldn’t know about, and that Henry somehow manages to dismiss Bill and Ben, a feat Gordon needs to take notes from. Even the Something in the Air exchange with Thomas, which isn’t really stellar writing just has a funny lame argument vibe.

For some nice Wholesome interaction, Bear is hands down the winner! Easy pick maybe, and it makes me wonder if Bear’s complete absence in the TVS is part of the downward spiral because he’d offer a lot more Plotlines.... hmmm...!

Favourite headcanon

Other than the universal fandom acceptance that He Digs Nature, Baby is the notion I’ve seen a few times that his “fear” of the rain, or what it would do to his paint, isn’t actually why he stopped in the tunnel, and it had more to do with his mechanical failure and/or him having something of a nervous breakdown. He does come across as something of an ass if you take the episode at face value, but there having a secret deeper meaning is way more interesting 👀

[maonuis]

[ENG TL] Kagehira Mika - Idol Story 3

Proofreader: ciel 

Original writer:  西岡麻衣子 (Nishioka Maiko)

Season: Summer

Location: Hanging Garden

Mika: Hm hmm… I get it.

Tsumugi: Oh my? Mika-kun, hello ♪ It’s not often that we meet in a place like this… Actually, what are you doing  reading outside?

Mika: Nga! Tsumu-chan-senpai, howdy ♪ Ya done caught me doin’ something all embarrassing.

You can get some good sun right around here, an’ it’s all quiet so I can relax. Rather, Tsumu-chan-senpai, you doin’  somethin’ out here?

Tsumugi: It’s a relaxing, sunny spot; I like that I can just sit back and unwind.

It’d be a good idea to bring something to read, like you’re doing. Maybe something like a poetry collection. Mika-kun, what are you reading?

…Talk Show Hosting for Dummies?

Mika: Jeez, don’t go peekin’ without permission~!

Tsumugi: You’re reading an unusual book again? So we even have books like that in the book room~. They really have all sorts of entertainment there, don’t they?

Mika: That’s right. There’s lotsa things that don’t really catch my eye, but I finally found this one~

Tsumugi: If you are interested in that kind of book, why don’t we put in a request to bring more books along this line to the book room?

Mika: Eh, for real? That’d be a big help ♪ Tsumu-chan-senpai, you’re takin’ care of that kinda stuff too?

Tsumugi: It’s part of my circle’s activities. We want the book room to be a cozy place. That’s why I want to answer Mika-kun’s needs too.

But why are you reading a book like this?

Mika: Ah, uhm well. I’m doin’ a buncha recordings, yanno? And when I’m there, all those bigwigs ask me to “bring up somethin’ interesting to talk about during the talk corner~”

But even if they put their hopes in me, I can’t really talk about anything fun. Really, they’d be better off askin’ for pigs to fly.

Tsumugi: Hmm… It might be because of the way you speak~[1]. They might be asking too much from you.

Mika: Well. It don’t really matter anyway—Not bein’ able to do it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. ‘Sides, Oshi-san ain’t too good at talking neither.

I’d like if I could at least take a li’l bit of that burden offa Oshi-san. That’s why I thought I could at least learn the ropes from this here book.

Tsumugi: Is that so? It’s not like Shu-kun is especially bad at talking, though?

Mika: Not usually, but turn a camera on him an’ he gets all quiet. And that’s why I aaalways end up wearin’ myself down.

How d’you do talk shows an’ stuff, Tsumu-chan-senpai?

Tsumugi: Me? Hmm, it’s hard to answer if you just ask me that out of nowhere. “Just talk normally~” is all I can really say...

But, let’s see… Even if they’re asking for entertaining stories, I don’t think it has to be something so funny you die laughing

Mika: Ya think so?

Tsumugi: As long as it keeps the conversation going, you’re fine. And if you do that, you can leave the wise-cracking to everyone else.

Mika-kun, would you like to try it out with me to practise? Ask me whatever you want.

Mika: Eh? Fine by me, but this is so sudden so I dunno… Eeeh. Ah, I think I got just the right thing.

If you could be anything Tsumu-chan-senpai, what would you wanna be? Like for example, I wanna be someone who can tell funny stories and make lotsa jokes.

Tsumugi: Well let’s see~. I’d like to be a bird.

Mika: Eh, that’s a different answer than I expected~. I thought you’d be the kind of person to say something more grand, like the president or a great sage.

Tsumugi: I doubt I could ever become a sage. But in any case, you said I could be anything, so I replied what I would like to be.

Mika: No, I mean, ‘s fine if ya wanna be a bird I guess…. But like, why?

Tsumugi: I mean, aren’t they just the cutest thing? When they waddle around with their tiny legs, they look so adorable. They are also very popular in zoos.

Mika: Of all birds, you went and picked the least bird-like one?! Ain’tcha talking ‘bout penguins?

Tsumugi: Uwaah, how did you know~? ♪

Mika: I was right? But why a penguin? There’s a whole buncha different birds you coulda picked. Cool ones like hawks, or super cute ones like parakeets.

Tsumugi: But don’t you think their wings are a nuisance?

Mika: If you think so why’d you wanna be a bird…? That’s like their whole thing.

Tsumugi: Well, think about it. If you sleep lying down, you’ll definitely wake up with the joints in your wings feeling sore.

On the other hand, penguins can lie down without any problems.

Mika: If you’re a bird, why would ya care about lying down? Just find a position and stay like that.

Tsumugi: But what if I sleep on my right side? My joints would get sore, so then I’d want to sleep on the other side.

Then I’d wake up in the morning, both sides would hurt and I wouldn’t be able to fly, so I’d just have to toddle around.

The first bird who slept on something funny. That must be the ancestor of the penguin.

Mika: Ya can’t fool me with a lie like that! Tsumu-chan-senpai, ain’t that enough messin’ around!

…………

Tsumu-chan-senpai, I kinda have the feeling I was able to keep up an entertaining conversation…?

Tsumugi: Because you did. Somehow, it has that kind of feeling. See, if you let loose and don’t worry too much, you can hold an entertaining conversation anytime, I’m sure of it...♪

[1] Here, Tsumugi means that since Mika speaks using Kansai-ben, many people might expect for him to be outspoken and humorous, having an easy time to come up with funny topics due to the fact that a many manzai comedy duos tend to speak in kansai dialect. 

The Kansai dialect = funny person stereotype is so strong that some comedians even invoke this to themselves, speaking in kansai dialect even if they aren't from the kansai region. 

In enstars, Hokuto himself has invoked this using it during his manzai routines. For a real life example, the Vtuber Yukoku Roberu also invokes it on himself.

[echo-three-one]

How ‘bout Jealous Soap x reader?

Hello Earthisdonut 🌍 🍩

I saw your ask while I was at work and I can't stop thinking about how the story goes... I had a lot of ideas but as I wrote, it kept on swinging on the other direction. Maybe it's my feelings being resonated into the words or an entire force telling me to go this way. Anyways here you go...

A jealous soap x reader fic.

Take me home

You take a deep breath and closed your eyes, clearing away the mixed sounds of random chatter, loud tv commentary and the all the yelling. 'Friday evening shifts are the worst' you thought to yourself as you make your way back to your station, wearing a smile on your face.

"Hey miss!" a customer whistled from the far end of the counter. You hastily walked to him and smiled. 

"What can I get you?" you asked with sincerity in your voice. You've worked long enough to master the art of faking a smile when in fact you are tired, but this job is all you have and the tips kept the bills afloat.

"Two beers and roasted nuts, please." He ordered, you were impressed at how kind he was, unlike the other new customers who reeked of rudeness and bad manners.

"Coming right up, Sir!" you winked as you tend to his order, mentally noting his tab for later. You hand him over the beer, placed on a circular chip that served as a coaster, followed by a heaping bowl of roasted nuts.

This kind of scene continued throughout the night, just with different kinds of people with different combinations of orders. You feel tired but you tend to forget it when you look at the tip jar, the thing that kept you moving forward. It's also the thing that's holding you back from life, you remembered when your best friend told you that you should unwind sometimes instead of rendering overtime during your day offs, to which you replied : "Soon enough", and that was well over a year ago.

As you wiped off the recently left spot by the counter, a well built man immediately took the spot and sat down, you tilted you head upward as the action surprised you. There he was, you couldn't miss his look, he stood out on the crowd because of his haircut, a perfectly cut mohawk and a scar on his left eye. He grinned at you, his blue eyes looked excited as soon as it met yours.

"John? I didn't know you'd be home!" You gasped as soon as you realized he's actually there, quickly putting a shot glass and pouring his favorite drink.

"Hey Y/N! I knew I'd find you here!" his hand gestured for a shake but he quickly dismissed it as soon as he realized he couldn't do it while you're at work.

"Yeah, working as always." you replied, trying to sound contented. He smiled at you as he raised his glass and downed the drink. You couldn't help but look at the way his Adam's apple moved as he consumed the drink.

His face turned into something incomprehensible as he let the taste of the strong alcohol set in, making you chuckle a little. His eyes turned to you as he heard you laugh.

"What's funny?" he asked. You simple shook you head and poured another pint on his shot glass. 

"I'll be back in a few. I have to serve drinks for these wild crowd." You informed him, but as soon as you were about to step out, you hear him stand up.

"What time will you be off?" He asked.

"Two more hours." You replied without looking back. You could feel your cheeks warm up and an uncontrollable smile plastered on your face. 

"Okay. I'll be here till then." he yelled as you entered the door to the employee's area. 

'Shit Shit shit shit.' you whispered to yourself as you regain composure. He felt way off. He didn't act like this toward you before. You could feel something odd between you two, and you're very distracted about it.

You made your way to your manager's office to request a five minute break. You knew he'd approve a breather from you because he was a accommodating to you since day one. You believed it's because you always give it your all in every shift.

You softly knock on his office door and pushed it slightly ajar, peeking your head through it as you saw him on his desk, doing some paperwork.

"Ah, Y/N. You need anything, love?" he greeted in his usual tone. His endearment didn't matter you as he calls every female "love".

"Can I take a five? Just needed to breathe." you huffed. He nodded in approval and stood up. 

"Let's puff it out, yeah?" he smiled as he offered a stick of cigarette.

The cold breeze of the Saturday evening wrapped around your work uniform. The noise from the bar was muffled but occasional screams would echo across the street. You exhaled a long stream of cigarette smoke through your mouth as the relaxing feel of nicotine coursed through your system. Smoking was your go-to activity whenever you feel extreme unexplained emotions, such as seeing John MacTavish after a long time.

"Tough crowd?" Your manager turned his head to you as you casually leaned on the cold metal railing.

"Not really. I just saw someone I least expected to see." You retorted, pressing your lips against the cigarette butt as you closed your eyes and inhaled the vice.

"Someone you hate?" He queried. 

"Not necessarily. But at one point of my life, maybe... It's just... it's complicated." You complained, sighing at the thought of him once again. You mentally fought against yourself whether to reminisce or not, reminding yourself that the reason you went out here was to clear your head, not to fill it with memories of summer 4 years ago.

You fixed your posture and flicked off the cigarette butt to the ashtray. Your boss followed, escorting you back to the office. 

"Thanks for the company. I needed it." You thanked him as you crossed the street. He hummed in acknowledgement as he opened the door for you. You couldn't help but scan the room quickly for a mohawk, but he wasn't around. Maybe he went to the bathroom, you thought to yourself as you get back to your station.

9:59 pm. Your eyes trailed to the huge digital clock by the door, rapidly moving across the crowd still no mohawk in sight. This actually made you sad, he wasn't the kind of guy who dissappoints, you always saw him as a man of his word. You did confirm that he already paid for his tab about an hour and a half ago, just after your short break.

Guess you're going home alone. So much for ' I'll be here till then' you mentally argued, frowning as you wiped off the last glass in the tray.

10:00 pm. You sighed and lazily grabbed your time card and let the huge metal clock record your departure. You felt your energy quickly deplete due to the dissappointment that is John MacTavish.

"See you on Monday!" you waved goodbye to your coworkers who seemed to notice your sudden loss of energy. You push the back door slowly and stepped outside. It was getting cold and you weren't prepared for it.

"Hey." A low scottish accent muttered just beside you, making you yelp in surprise.

"Holy crap, you scared the shit out of me!" you angrily punched his strong arm, hurting yourself in the process.

"I'm sorry." he spoke lazily, almost tired or drunk. You couldn't exactly tell, but it was far from his tone earlier. 

"Pretty chilly, eh?" you asked him, imitating his accent. Something that you always considered a major turn on when it comes to him.

"A little bit. And your impression is way off, I don't say it like that." he retorted nonchalantly making you worry if something happened while he was waiting.

"You seem a little off, what's the problem?" you asked, playfully bumping him while you walked the empty streets on your way home.

"It's just... uh.. Nevermind." he trailed off, his secrecy was making you impatient and you stopped on your tracks. He continued walking, looking down at the ground until he noticed you're no longer beside him.

He turned back. "You forgot something?" 

"I don't get you." you raised your voice. He slowly walked back to you until he's just inches away from your face.

"Yeah. I'm sorry. I should've just asked..."

"Asked what? You told me you'd stay here till my shift is over and then you're gone like that?" you complained, the tone of your voice was demanding and you could see him flinch when words hurt.

"I didn't want to raise suspicion." 

"Who would be suspicious of you?!"

"Shortly after you left, I took a smoke. But I didn't do it by the smoking area. I was way up here, enjoying the breeze." he said, turning to the smoking area which was very visible from up here. Was he sad because he saw you and your manager by the smoking area? What kind of eyes did he have? You didn't want to assume things so you started to supply him with questions to fill in the blanks.

"And? Was the area too sad for you to be all emo like that all of a sudden?" you complained, soing your best impression of an angry person, but you know deep inside that you couldn't get angry at this man.

"Yeah. You could say that." he chuckled. He couldn't even look at you anymore.

"Bullshit." you retorted. He slowly tilted his head and smiled as soon as your eyes met. The view was so gorgeous you almost felt like the world was in slow motion.

"You don't have to believe me if you want. Why are you walking with me home anyway. You could've said no. I bet he has some nice fancy car to drive you home." he blurted, fog started to huff out of his mouth as the snow started to fall from the sky.

"Where are you going with this, John?" you spat, letting the emotions get the best of you. If only he was clear enough then this wouldn't have happened.

"I saw the two of you smiling while talking, I thought to myself. Yeah, she's happy with that bloke huh, I wish I knew that before I invited her earlier." he breathed out. You almost felt guilty, but it wasn't your fault. He easily assumed things that weren't even true.

"What made you think we're together? Just because we're smoking together doesn't mean we're in a relationship. Is that what you thought?" you replied, fighting back helping him on his way to the truth.

He paused, it's as if his whole thought process was shattered when your words stung him. 

"I got jealous. To be fair, I was gone for 4 years... I always thought you already found someone else within that time." he frowned. It was not usual of him to feel this vulnerable.

"Look-" you tried to explain but you suddenly felt his warm embrace wrapped around you.

"I'm sorry..." he whispered. The same words he said before leaving 4 years ago. The same words that hurt you back then and the same words that's going to hurt you at this moment. He was the one that got away, he was the one whom you shared your most magical moments with, but not the one who's going to be there until the end. He'll have to leave anytime soon, as his job requires him to save the world. You told him he could settle for less risky world saving endeavors but he insisted that this was his purpose. And you were not willing to let him choose again.

"You know... you're not supposed to feel jealousy." you consoled, rubbing his well sculpted back. 

"I know... I couldn't help it." he whispered. 

"Let's get you home, John." you whisper to him as he pulls away from you, his face pouted like a baby whose candy got stolen.

"Why are you here anyway?" you added.

"I'm getting reassigned to a new task force. I figured I could say goodbye to someone I hold dear." he smirked, he felt normal, but then again you couldn't help but feel that this would be the last time you'll be seeing him. You we're thinking he won't be able to travel freely back here anymore or worse, he'll be the hero the world wanted him to be.

[obeyme-kaidii-writes]

mammon with a overly emotional MC? asking bcs I cry too much lol, the story would just make everytime I cry a bit better :))

Ok, first off anon, SAME. I also had a dad that thought crying was just women trying to manipulate men, so yeah, that was fun.

I was in the middle of writing something else when I got your request and I just felt like I had to write something for you. (And myself, let’s be honest lol) I’ve never done a songfic before, but I couldn’t get this song out of my head and it just seemed to fit perfectly with the idea I had.

I hope you enjoy. ☺️

Emotional

Mammon x gn!MC

Words - 1804

Content warnings - light angst, lots of comfort and some fluffy cuddles

Prompt/inspiration - anon request, “Emotional” by Diana DeGarmo

NOTE - the original song uses the word “girl”, this has been removed in this story and replaced with [gender]

Summary - After a rough day at RAD, you hide out in your room while Mammon tries to figure out what’s wrong.

NOTE - lyric free version can be found here.

AO3

Today had been a long day. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but for whatever reason, anytime someone so much as looked at you funny, you felt like crying. The voices in your head whispering to you that they were watching you, judging you.

Mammon had tried on several occasions to pull you aside, but you successfully managed to slip away each time. Normally you were so grateful for his company, but today you just knew that if he asked you if you were okay you were going to lose it.

And you absolutely did not want to lose it in the middle of RAD.

You flopped onto your bed, now in the safety of your room, curling up on yourself and pulling your comforter around you. Finally you were able to let out all the stress that had been holding onto. And just as you started to cry, a loud KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK on your door shocked you back to your senses.

“Hey, open up! You’ve been avoidin’ me all day.”

It was Mammon.

Not even taking a moment to think about what you actually wanted, you snapped at him.

“GO AWAY.”

Sometimes I get emotional

Sometimes I do some stupid things

Sometimes I say

What I should just keep inside

As soon as the words left your mouth, you regretted them. Your tone was sharper than you had intended, but not only that, you didn’t really want him to leave. Part of you wanted him to wrap you up in one of his hugs and just hold you while you fell to pieces in his arms. However, you learned a long time ago that only babies cried. If you were strong, you wouldn’t cry so much. That crying was a burden on and an annoyance to everyone around you.

Sometimes I'm sad

'Bout everything

Sometimes I'm mad

And break some things

Sorry times ten

But you just got in the way

The silence that followed made your heart break. You couldn’t tell if you were more sad at the idea that you had hurt Mammon’s feelings or more hurt that he seemed to have just left you without even trying to figure out what’s wrong. If he cared, surely he would have been more persistent, right? And you knew that was a ridiculous thing to think, manipulative even, but you couldn’t help those feelings that coiled around your heart.

Don't give up now running away

I won't hurt you

Sometimes I'm just a pain

And that's the way it is

That's just the way I am

Resolving to spending the evening alone, you laid back down, curling up as small as possible once again. As your thoughts wandered, and your tears fell, you slowly started to drift off to sleep. You didn’t notice when your bedroom door opened. You didn’t notice the smell of hot chocolate wafting into your room. And you didn’t notice the dip in your mattress as someone climbed in beside you.

Sometimes I feel like crying

Laying down and dying

That's when I need you

In fact, it wasn’t until you felt an arm slip around your waist and a kiss on the exposed skin of your neck that you finally started to become aware of what was going on around you.

“Hey,” Mammon whispered as he settled down in your bed, spooning you from behind.

Your breath hitched, and you felt your body stiffen involuntarily. Why was he here? Had he seen your face? Did he know you had been crying? Tears silently slipped down your face again as you started to panic internally. What was he going to say when he realized?

Laughing's always easy

But sometimes I'm just scared

You'll leave me

That's when I feel

Emotional

“I ain’t goin’ anywhere until ya tell me what’s wrong.”

“I...umm…” you wanted to answer him. Make an excuse. Offer some sort of rational explanation for why you were hiding in your room and had been avoiding him all day. Something told you just saying “there’s something in my eye” wasn’t going to fool him.

“Tch, always gotta be so difficult,” Mammon said. You felt his arms release you as he sat up and moved to the edge of the bed. If you thought you had been anxious before when he was laying beside you, it was nothing compared to the feeling of him leaving, with the words “difficult” echoing in your ears.

You say I'm just impossible

Totally unpredictable

I'm just a [gender], get used to it

No big deal

“Here. Sit up.”

But before your thoughts got to turn too dark, Mammon was sitting beside you again. Poking you with his elbow as he nudged you in the back. So surprised were you to find that he was still there and hadn’t left, you turned around immediately to look at him.

Despite his dark skin tone, you could tell he was blushing, and even if you couldn’t, his refusal to look at you would have been more than enough to confirm that he was feeling embarrassed. Your gaze slowly traveled downward until it landed on the tray he was holding in his outstretched hands.

“What’s this?” you asked, puzzled at why Mammon was offering you a mug of hot chocolate, and what appeared to be...cookies…? Only they were slightly burnt, and you weren’t sure you recognized the ingredients he had added in lieu of chocolate chips.

“What’s it look like? I had some extra and thought you might want some. But if ya don’t appreciate it…”

Not wanting to discourage Mammon, you quickly sat up, wiping whatever tears remained on your face away, and took the tray from him.

“...thanks.”

He glanced at you out of the corner of his eye as you studied his gift, smirking at your response.

Once you were situated with your back against your headboard, you placed the tray in your lap and Mammon sat down beside you. He grabbed his mug of hot chocolate, taking a sip as he waited for your reaction. He was pretty impressed with the results of his baking skills, and was certain the treats would put a smile on your face.

You can't change me

Why would you try (Why would you try)

(You know that I) I'm no angel

But I can make you smile

You reached for one of the cookies, a soft smile playing on your lips as you took a bite.

“So? How was it? Good right?”

When you didn’t answer, Mammon gave you another nudge with his arm.

“Right?”

Without a word, you returned the cookie to your plate, picking up the cup of hot chocolate instead, taking a deep gulp in an attempt to cleanse your palate.

“Mammon...honey...that was awful…” you looked at him over the rim of your mug, taking another deep swallow. At least the hot chocolate was delicious.

“Whattya talkin’ about?! They’re perfect!” Mammon replied, quick to shove what remained of your first cookie into his mouth. You continued to watch him while sipping on your beverage, slowly now that the initial foul aftertaste seemed to have been gone.

You tried your best to hide the smile that was threatening to spread over your whole face as Mammon froze mid bite, glancing at the plate of cookies, then at you, then back to the cookies, before finally chugging down what remained of his own mug of hot chocolate, desperate to rid his mouth of every last crumb.

When his mug emptied, you offered him your own, laughing at his reaction.

“Shaddup,” he snapped, eagerly taking the cup from you and polishing off its contents. But he wasn’t mad. Not at all. He was relieved and overjoyed to see you smiling again, interacting with him and no longer pushing him away.

And that's the way it is

That's just the way I am

When he finished what remained of your drink, he took the tray from you, sitting it on the floor beside your bed, before turning back to you and wrapping you up in a tight hug. Now much more relaxed than you had been, you wrapped your arms around his waist, returning the gesture and burying your face in his chest.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

“It's fine. Don’t worry about it,” he reassured you, “Are ya gonna tell me what happened now?”

You nodded against him, tightening your arms around him as you clung to him.

“I just...I don’t know...had a bad day, I guess. Everything made me just want to cry. And I know it’s ridiculous. I’m an adult. I should…”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Huh?”

“With cryin’. What’s wrong with that? Ain’t ya the one that told me it was ok to let it all out?” Mammon had leaned back now, resting against your headboard, pulling you up against himself as he began to rub your back, pressing an occasional kiss to your forehead.

“I...uh...well, I just...I’ve always been told I cry too much. I’m too emotional. Like little things that wouldn’t bother anyone, upset me. And I didn’t want to annoy you...so I…”

“Dummy. I dunno know why you’d think I’d feel that way. You never act like that with me.”

Sometimes I feel like crying

Laying down and dying

That's when I need you

Mammon gave you a reassuring squeeze, and yet another kiss to the top of your head. All you could do in response was hold him tighter, pulling your legs up so that you were practically sitting in his lap by now.

You weren’t sure why it hadn’t occurred to you before. You honestly never saw the connection. And if you stopped and thought about it, Mammon had easily cried more times in front of you since you had arrived in the Devildom than you had cried at all (in public or private) during your stay.

You always reassured him, and comforted him. You never laughed at him, or thought for one second that he was a burden for opening up to you. In fact, you never felt more loved than when he would let you see that sensitive, emotional, side to himself because you knew how much it meant that he trusted you.

Why did you ever think he wouldn’t treat you with the same love and care you had always shown him?

Laughing's always easy

But sometimes I'm just scared

You'll leave me

That's when I feel

Emotional

I won't hurt you (I won't hurt you)

Sometimes I'm just a pain

And that's the way it is

That's just the way I am

That's when I need you

Laughing's always easy

But sometimes I'm just scared

You'll leave me

That's when I feel (feel you)

I feel you

Sometimes I get emotional