#it will probably be rehomed because she resents her dog

[wandering-wolf23]

This is going to be controversial, but if you're going to recommend people get a certain dog breed, you need to have experience with that breed.

And not just reading the breed description on the AKC website. You need to have handled, trained, or owned that breed. You need to know what makes that breed tick, how they act in various situations, and if they're good pets. I know a lot of people mean well when they suggest breeds that "replace" doodles. However, if you're telling people to get a Wheaten Terrier, an Australian Cobberdog, a Bedlington Terrier, a Pudelpointer, or a Lagotto Ramagnolo as the pet for the average suburban family, you're setting dogs up for failure.

Then, when that dog becomes a bite risk or is completely unsuitable for life as a pet dog (because it's a working breed or a breed with no working/show line split), it becomes my problem. Sometimes, the process ends with the supposed "ethical alternative" being euthanized because it was purchased by a home completely unprepared for it.

I don't know what the solution here is, but I really dislike this growing trend of telling average people to get working breeds.

[robotslenderman]

I used to agree with this, then my family adopted a dog when I was nineteen.

We were her ninth home.

She was three years old.

There are so many dogs who, once they get given up once, just recycle through the system like that. And it's traumatic to the dog every time it happens, so the more it happens the more issues the dog develops and the less likely the next home is to keep them. Our dog was fine at first, but once her internal clock ticked over to "time to be given away again" she freaked out for a while and it took a long, long time before she realised she wasn't going anywhere.

Like I agree that animals deserve the best home but the answer to this isn't to pass animals around like clothes, it's to sit down before you get an animal and actually ask yourself how you're going to handle it if the animal isn't compatible with you, and to make the decision that actually, no, you probably shouldn't get an animal, instead of being selfish and getting one anyway and then passing it into the system when it turns out you were wrong about what you could handle. It absolutely affects an animal every time it changes homes.

If you're not prepared, don't get the animal. If you did, then at least make rehoming the animal a last resort and make an effort to adapt to it first. Because that second chance may end up turning into a third, fourth, seventh, eighth...

I've seen a rescue in Victoria that won't actually let you pick your dog. They'll talk to you about your lifestyle and what you're prepared to do and then they'll pick a potentially suitable dog for you and give you a trial period, based on the personality of the dog. I think that's a good way to reduce this, personally. Foster carers don't want to see their animals go through this, but they don't want the dog with a resentful owner who won't care for it properly either, and like you I get that. But a balance needs to be struck. Rehoming should always be a last resort.

hi! can i ask what's ur opinion on giving pets away? not necessarily because u can't afford to care for em anymore but maybe incompatibility of personalities or maybe lifestyles. is it wrong to give ur pet for adoption if u know someone who's better suited for keeping a pet, like emotionally?

This is going to be controversial, but I support making that choice.

There’s a lot of rhetoric lately around how it’s evil and unethical to rehome your pet if you don’t “need to.” And what that does is prioritize human ideology over the actual animal’s well-being.

Pets that aren’t a good match for your home or pets that aren’t really wanted anymore frequently have lower welfare! When caring for an animal becomes a burden or is forced, people end up resenting them, and that means the animal often doesn’t get all of its needs fulfilled. Even if you’re still feeding it and providing appropriate vet care, how likely are you to provide affection or enrichment to an animal you’re tired of being stuck with?

Lifestyle and personality really matter to making sure a pet is a good fit for a home. A dog that alert-barks at every leaf that moves is probably a bad fit for someone who has a chronic migraine syndrome, and they might not know that until the dog has been in the home for weeks and started to open up. A really feisty kitten that requires a ton of play might not do best in the home of someone older who wanted a quiet lap cat. And while you can you do your best to plan to find a compatible animal, you won’t always know ahead of time what issues might arise.

“Forever home” rhetoric is really, really popular and I think it’s very unfair to the animals it is supposed to support. It started with the backlash of seeing animals abandoned inappropriately, and has been heavily reinforced in the public mind because it’s so frequently used to drive fundraising and support for legislation. The whole “forever home” concept communicates to people that getting an animal is an immutable commitment and that if you can’t keep an animal, it is a personal moral failing. It frames human priorities (we think people who get rid of animals are Evil and Bad and should be shunned) as more important than actual welfare needs for individual animals (are they getting the care they need where they are).

Obviously, I don’t support people dumping animals or just getting fad pets they’ll discard immediately, but there’s so many alternate situations that can arise. Even if it’s just “they got a pet and didn’t know what caring for it would take and didn’t want to care for it so they brought it back, how awful” like… okay, I’d like the person to have done more research before they got a pet, but isn’t it better that the animal now has a second chance to go to better home? Knowing what a commitment requires theoretically can be very different than having to actually follow through regularly, and I’d rather see someone maturely acknowledge that having an animal isn’t a good fit than keep it anyway!!

If animals being happy and with all their biological, veterinary, and social needs fulfilled is actually the goal, we need to prioritize their welfare over human opinion. I’d much rather see an animal rehomed responsibly to somewhere it will thrive and be welcomed than see people keep animals they can’t/don’t want to care for out of guilt or shame. 

[crymea-river]

7/17/2017

i never even got to say goodbye to bella, all it took was one little slip up and my step mom just gave up on her. we've had her for two and a half years and the worst thing shes ever done is peed in the house (and that was only once!). what kills me is that she has no idea whats going on probably. one day she's happily living her day to day dog life with us and the next she gets picked up by a stranger (or maybe dropped off at a strangers house, idk how it happened because i wasnt there 🙃) and she doesnt know if she'll ever see us again (she more than likely wont). last time i saw her i left the house thinking that id be back that evening and things ended up working out different and i didnt go to my dads that night and just went straight to my moms. i havent been back to my dads house since and now i wish i had. im going to try to talk to her new owner to see if i can maybe stop bye to see my girl at least one last time. shes a good dog i just don't understand why one mess up means we need to get rid of her. i just have so much resentment toward my step mom, none of this makes any sense. when i get my own dog i swear to god i will do any and everything within my power and/or financial capability to fix an issue my dog might have instead of getting rid of him the first time a Bad Thing happens. i understand that sometimes things aren't easy to fix, and that sometimes it may cost more money than i have to fix it and only then will i consider rehoming. when ive exhausted every single resource within my reach.