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blithers · 3 years ago

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I posted 472 times in 2021

17 posts created (4%)

455 posts reblogged (96%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 26.8 posts.

I added 199 tags in 2021

#critical role - 60 posts

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Longest Tag: 89 characters

#there's this fic that points out that riza can't have sex with anybody with her shirt off

My Top Posts in 2021

For @syd15, who asked for some Angie/Will.

---

“Hey, Angie?” Will whispered, close to her ear.

“Yes?”

“Do you think we’ve hidden too well?”

It was a valid question. She hadn’t heard a peep from either Sophie or Graham since both she and Will had awkwardly ended up in the same place after hide and seek panic had led them both to be crammed underneath Will’s bed, shoulder-to-shoulder, staring up the slats holding up Will’s super expensive mattress.

(His mattress looking amazing to sleep on, like it would almost certainly cure the weird knots that Angie carried around in her shoulders from picking Graham up all the time. Angie had spent a silent but substantial amount of time they’d been stuck under here trying to figure out how to ask Will if she could crash in his bed sometimes. But in, like, a platonic way.)

“Probably,” Angie said, and rolled herself as much as she could in the limited space. She ended up partially on her side, facing Will in the dim light. “Do you think they’re even still looking for us?”

“I give it a 50-50 chance.”

Will shuffled himself around a bit to face her as well. His shoulders were broader than her, so it was a tighter fit.

And whoa buddy, it just got a whole lot warmer in here - Will’s face was close to her own, and she could feel his breath on her skin as he shifted about, and suddenly Angie’s whole body was a terrifying mess of a lot of things she should definitely not be feeling. Shit. Shit shit shit!

Angie’s breath caught and held, and she froze, staring awkwardly at Will.

“Uh. Angie. Are you okay?” Will whispered.

Breath, D’Amato. “No. Yes. Yup! Nope. I’m fine!”

She could see Will frowning in the darkness. “What are you -”

“Nooooope, not doing this!” Angie said, and rolled herself right out of that hormonal, sexual-tension-laden trap, out from underneath Will’s seductively amazing bed and back into the harsh daylight and the reality of Angie’s actual, real, sad single parent life.

“GOT YOU,” Graham yelped above her head, pointing down. “I told you, Sophie!”

“Yeah, kid,” Angie said, and tried to smile. “You sure got me.”

8 notes • Posted 2021-02-16 03:28:24 GMT

for your prompt requests may i please suggest: alexis rose | plant a seed, plant a flower, plant a rose (it's a secret no one knows)

Alexis was six when it happened for the first time. Her parents had bought her a pony for her birthday, the actual thing she’d actually asked for, and the sheer joy she’d felt had washed outward from her like a wave, sprouting into a field of miniature, wild violets that flew out around her, tangled into the Rose’s meticulously pruned and clipped yard, and totally ruining their gardener’s whole week.

The type of flowers Alexis grew varied: negative emotions spread outward from her with thorns, and positive ones delicate buds and petals shaped like teacups. Sometimes a single, understated flower would bloom underneath her finger. Sometimes plants tangled up where she stepped, vines crawling up underneath her feet, tipped with small, white pea-blossoms. When she was angry, she wrapped herself in brambles like Sleeping Beauty locked within a cursed castle.

She had learned to control it. Strong emotion triggered it; she learned to channel those feelings elsewhere. Impatience made it easier to fight off the wash of real, debilitating emotion, and reacting with words seemed to keep the magic from building up inside of her. It had worked well enough.

And then they’d moved to Schitt’s Creek, their entire lives stripped away from them in an instant, and the motel had bloomed gloomy night flowers and sharp, pointed roses for weeks.

“It’s making things difficult for me,” Stevie had pointed out. “The random flowers, you know. Growing. In a motel. Where they're not supposed to grow. You know.”

Alexis had taken to sunbathing after that, on a battered plastic lawn chain out in the middle of the seldom-mowed field back behind the motel, where the flowers she grew tangled unnoticed into the wildflowers that already dotted the area.

Things got better. She met Ted, she hooked up with Ted, she dated Ted, she broke up with Ted: the usual. She argued with David, she hugged David, she realized, sometimes, that she loved David, as totally weird as that was. She started to talk to her mom sometimes; her dad paid attention to her for the first time in her life. Life went on, and the flowers she grew became softer and less barbed, and she started to think of Schitt’s Creek as perhaps the first real home she’d ever had in her life.

And then she met Ted again, the second time around, and violets rushed with a complicated joy out from beneath her feet in a dizzying rainbow of purples, as Ted had laughed and moved his feet to not crush any of the blooms, and Alexis stared at him, dazed.

And Alexis wondered, dimly, what it would take to make Ted laugh like that again.

10 notes • Posted 2021-02-20 17:48:48 GMT

I was cleaning up some old files today and I found this little excerpt I had cut from A Kind of Merry War (from chapter 5 specifically), and it made me laugh so I thought I’d share it here.

“Here,” Derek says, and heaves himself sideways, closer to her, before throwing an arm up and over her head. She can feel his elbow, bent and resting against the top of her head, pressing down on her scalp.

“Did you seriously just try to throw your arm around my shoulders and fail?” she asks.

“I am trying,” Derek says, with a biting dignity that is not helped by the fact that Casey is wearing the crook of his elbow like a ten pound party hat, “to help you warm up.”

“Sure,” she agrees. Her butt slips a couple inches down the hood of the car from the downward pressure on her head.

“Well, lift your head up then,” he snaps, like she’s the dumb one in this whole awkward scenario. Casey ignores him, but in struggling to reverse her perilous slide down the slippery metal of the hood of the car, Derek’s arm ends up underneath her neck anyway.

It’s… not comfortable. In order to keep her head leaned back against the windshield, Casey’s has to tilt her back back like the top of a Pez dispenser, with Derek’s forearm like a doorstop at the base of her skull.

“This is terrible,” she says. “It’s like somebody shoved a log underneath my neck, and that log is your arm.”

11 notes • Posted 2021-09-06 04:09:59 GMT

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Enola Holmes (2020) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Enola Holmes/Viscount "Tewky" Tewksbury Characters: Enola Holmes, Viscount "Tewky" Tewksbury Additional Tags: Sharing a Bed, Dancing, Undressing, Mild Hurt/Comfort Summary:

“I have but a single bed, so you’ll have to sleep on the floor,” she says.

******

And this is what I wrote for Yuletide! I really enjoyed the Enola Holmes movie this year, and was thrilled to get the chance to write this fic for Corina, my recipient. Featuring dancing, a spot of bed sharing, and lots of Victorian clothing.

22 notes • Posted 2021-01-01 21:12:27 GMT

Fic Recs!

I’ve been missing fic recs lately and got inspired by @earnmysong and thought I should write up a fic rec post of my own. So! Here are some fics I’ve enjoyed recently. Please tell me what you’ve liked or would recommend as well!

WIPs I’m following right now:

132 Hours by destinies - Folk of the Air, Jude/Cardan - I am loving this WIP. It updates most Tuesdays and I hardly ever follow WIPs that update on a regular schedule like that and it’s really fun? Fantastic enemies-to-we-can-only-assume-eventually-lovers dynamic, and an interesting, tense blend of a hostage situation fic + A/B/O.

And Now the Storm-Blast Came by AMarguerite - Persuasion, Anne/Wentworth - I first read this fic a year or two ago and a couple new chapters have come out recently and it has been the BEST surprise. Amazing huddling for warmth + romantic and angsty pining, in the best sort of ways. Like, so romantic.

Fics I’ve bookmarked recently:

Scenes From a Marriage: The Hundred Days by eyrane - Persuasion, Anne/Wentworth - More Persuasion fic, which I’ve been feeling a lot lately. Wonderful fic about the beginning of their marriage and Anne’s adjustments to living on a ship in the military, plus pirates! Very sexy, very lovely.

A Lesser Known B-Side by @falsettodrop - Life With Derek, Casey/Derek - Derek and Casey are dating, and Derek goes down on Casey and is suuuuper into it. This fic is second of series (first here) but can be read standalone imo, although the first fic is fantastic as well. Go read both! They’re so good!

Watching Through Windows by helvetica_upstart - Schitt’s Creek, Patrick/David - David loses his memory (amnesia fic!) and reverts back to his personality and memories before moving to Schitt’s Creek. Super iddy and interesting, and a great clash of the Rose family personality circa season 1 with the people the whole family grew into over the course of the show.

Festina Lente by FullmetalArchivist (1stTimeCaller) - Fullmetal Alchemist, Roy/Riza - Really, really great example of a PWP that’s full of character and super hot and tells a complete story while focusing in on sex. Hot and angsty in all the right ways for this ship.

Enigma by @yahtzee63 - X:Men, Erik/Charles - Really amazing, tells an epic story in a relatively compact, brisk format. Erik gets a second chance to live his life, with wide-ranging consequences. I found this fic very moving and just fascinating.

Happenstance by Abby B - Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth/Darcy - I found this fic again on the wayback machine after a conversation with @avocadomooon about old P&P fic, and oh my god I still love it. Elizabeth and Darcy are forced to get married early on due to what is essentially a misunderstanding, and fall in love afterwards. The pink background of the original site makes me grateful for AO3′s default white though, lol. Very much worth it.

34 notes • Posted 2021-01-21 23:29:13 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#tumblr #well aren't i just a person who exists on tumblr #lol at my longest tag #i live my best life!

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codyfernsource · 6 years ago

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Full Cody Fern SXSW Talk Transcription

The first 15 minutes or so had originally been posted here but eakintata has done the absolute work and transcribed the whole interview! Make sure you give her some love because she deserves it. you can find her original copy here TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT

Shattering the Hollywood Mold: Bold and Unapologetic Monday, March 11, 2019 at the Australia House, SXSW

Jenny Cooney: So, there we go, that's the intro. So maybe you can, I mean -- did you really come from a town called Southern Cross? It's like the most perfect Australian, you know, ad. [laughs]

Cody Fern: I did, yeah. I was...

J: Is the mic working?

C: Is this on? I gotta hold it like so close… Yeah, I grew up in Southern Cross. What was the question?

J: You have a very -- you came from -- like, when we say small town, it was like not even a town, was it?

C: It was tiny. My parents still live there, or one of my parents still lives there. When I was growing up, it was just under 300 people. It's like a very farming, mining, high suicide rates, very Australian Outback. So like for those who know Perth, it's six hours inland from Perth.

[to someone in the audience] Hi!

[continuing] It's six hours inland from Perth by train, seven by car. So, it was tough. But I survived.

J: So how does a kid who grows up in a town that small in the middle of nowhere end up getting to L.A. I mean, where do you start? At what point when you were growing up did film or television or acting become something but you knew was a job and you wanted to do it?

C: I think I have to answer that in two parts. I mean, the first one is I knew that I wanted to act when I was five or six. I became very self-aware around five, and I think the realization for me was that everybody around me was always lying. And in a small country town gossiping is a real staple. So what would happen is, you know, my mother's friends, or whoever it happened to be, would be together, then someone would leave, then everybody would start gossiping. And I started to notice this in every circle in Southern Cross. It was its own kind of network, but nobody was telling the truth about how they were feeling.

And Australia is a very macho culture. They have a very kind of standard definition of what masculinity is, and in the country, that's kind of like masculinity on steroids. Which is so stupid. But I always found it to be really troubling and I remember, at five or six, having the awareness of, “Everybody is acting all the time.” I didn't know what it was, I couldn’t put words to it but everybody was playing a game, and that I saw the game really clearly, and nobody else seemed to.

And that was where I first kind of started to realize that this was something that I was interested in. But when I was 13, well leading up to 13, I would always watch really intense emotional films. But like, with the divas in them. I’m talking, like, Cher in Moonstruck, and Meryl Streep in Sophie's Choice, and Betty Davis in All About Eve. And they used to have one movie -- we had three channels -- and they would have one movie which is the Movie of the Week, and every day at 12:00 p.m. the same movie would play. So you could watch All About Eve seven times in one week. And so I did. [laughter]

And that's really where it started to form, was with divas, strangely enough. And then when I was 13, I saw Cate Blanchett in Elizabeth, and that was the first time that I had real clear understanding that she was not the Queen, but it was so real. It was so visceral, and it made so much sense, and the whole world was complete. But I knew she was Australian, so she couldn't be this person, and that was when I started to realize, “Wait, this is something that you can actually do.” Because before then a Hollywood celebrity or an actor or a star was kind of like a -- it’s like a unicorn, you know. And they're born like that. And then all of a sudden they're like, doing movies and that was their destiny. And then your destiny is to work on farm. So that was when I really understood.

The second part of the question -- Jesus Christ that was a long answer. [laughter] The second part of the question, or the second answer, is about, “How does a young boy from Southern Cross get to Hollywood?” And I’ll need years of therapy to understand it. I mean, I'm still trying to figure it out. You know, obviously, there was an action plan… This bag has my face on it. [laughter] You should hold that up [laughs]. So hysterical. This is so strange to me.

[Jenny holds up the bag.] The whole talk, I’m trying to talk, and I’m staring at me. [laughter] So, how did I get on people’s bags?

So there was a chain of events that led up to it but, I... the true and honest answer, and I'm sure we'll talk about it more after this, but is that it's still something that I try to compute, between nature and nurture, and fate and destiny, and work ethic and opportunity, because I really don't believe in luck. And for me, I always understood that I was born into -- and I love my family very much. They’re very dear to me. But I had always understood that I was born into a situation, into a society, into even a country, at that point in time, that was very difficult to expand outwards. And that I was kind of doomed to a life that had been chosen for me, and I understood very early on that if I was going to break free of that, that I was going to have to work really really really really hard. And that meant working harder than anybody else, and being very honest with myself, and really embracing and accepting failure. And I failed a lot. I mean I didn't start acting until I was 24, so I've been acting for six years.

J: You auditioned for all of the drama schools and got rejected, right?

C: Four times. The fourth time I auditioned for WAAPA, so the Western Australian Academy of Performing Arts, the head of the academy at that time told me [there was a glitch here]. It was only recently that I have made a discovery -- and this is without any sense of ego or modesty -- it was only recently that I made the discovery, “Oh, that's why people…” Because, you know I had a hard childhood and a hard slog at boarding school. I was always very different. I was targeted by teachers. I was targeted by students. I was just targeted. It was just a very difficult world to be in. And because I was --

J: You mean, like, bullied?

C: Heavily, yeah. Verbally, physically, you know. And it was never -- it was hard, but I always knew, if I can just get through this, something is on the other side. And that all of this has to mean something. I’m a person who really searches for meaning in everything, and that that point in time, I knew that this has to mean something. It has to be for something. This can’t just be the end of it, you know? That this is what happens, and this is how I feel, and then I just go on. I knew that it had to really be for something, because the trauma that I was experiencing, particularly the bullying, was so intense that if I didn't have an outlet to use it, I would’ve self-destructed.

But now, in retrospect, where I am in my life, having just turned 30, I'm able to look back and really understand, “Oh, these people were really scared of me. They were really, really scared.” And that's what people do when they're afraid. You can’t be something that they’re not. You can't ask questions that they're not willing or ready to ask themselves. You can't say things that they don't believe in. You can't challenge conventions that they need to hold onto. And so at a certain point in time, you just have to get on with it, you know?

J: And you did.

C: And I did.

J: Did you find when you started acting, on the other side of the whole experience, it was also in some ways a form of escape from, you know, some of the difficult --

C: No. Acting was never an escape for me. Oh, well, maybe it was. I don't think it was ever an escape for me, as it was actually turning towards all of the feelings head-on, and having a place to explore them. Because one of the great things about acting is when you first begin -- and I teach a lot of workshops to specifically teenagers in rural areas who are never going to the ability to… Well, never say never. I’m here. I enjoy working with teenagers because they have such a depth of feeling that is so silenced by adults. It's frightening, I understand, especially at schools, for teachers and for adults to deal with the intense world of the teenager. But when you are spoken to as an equal, when somebody acknowledges your existence, and that you are not just the child of somebody who has to learn something, so that you can go out in the world and work and then retire, it's pretty great what comes out.

It's a way to explore, acting -- it began for me as a way to explore all of my feelings especially in a culture that didn't allow you to have them. That everything needed to be above board all the time. And I have always had an intense depth of feeling. It changes, of course, because if you’re just, you know, feeling things all the time, as an actor, it's not great acting. It's just emoting. So it becomes, you know, it becomes something else. But it began for me really as a way to actually not escape from, but confront myself.

J: So you ended up going from Perth to Sydney? First?

C: I joined a -- I was working for Ernst & Young at the time.

J: You were in accounting?

C: I was in accounting.

J: You got your degree in commerce, right?

C: I got my first degree in commerce. That’s so wanky, “I got my first degree in commerce.” But I did. I got my first degree in commerce, I majored in management and marketing, and I did my honors in strategic consumer behavior, which was all about, like, you know, “How can I sell this thing better if I manipulate people into buying it?” And and then I worked for Coca-Cola for a while, and Ernst & Young. And then I hit a certain point in my life where I realized that I hated myself. And I hated everything about my life, and I was essentially having a nervous breakdown. And that included understanding that I hated the people that I was hanging around with, I hated the music I was listening to, I hated the clothes that I was wearing, I hated the direction I was going, I hated everything. And the common denominator was me. So, I had to do something about it, and I had to do something about it rapidly.

Because there was the slow death which involves making a lot of money and being incredibly unhappy or there was falling headfirst into the abyss, and you know it's like, well, at least if I’m gonna die, I'm gonna die falling from 10,000 feet, you know, hitting pavement at 1,000 miles an hour. And that’s gonna be more pleasant. So as bleak as that sounds, that fall is a lot of fun. And I jumped. And I joined an experimental theater group, and walked out of Ernst & Young. Which was... tricky. It's another story for another time. I was a very troubled kid at that point in time. I had never had real friends, I'd never had anything stable besides my family. I was, you know, doing wild things and sleeping in parks some nights because I wasn’t able to go home, you know, out of my mind. It was just like I was losing myself.

And then I joined an experimental theater group, and an acting class, and that's where it began. And then that grew into professional theater, and that professional theater led me to Sydney where I was cast in War Horse. And, you know, what's interesting is that every single casting director in Australia, almost all directors in Australia, had always said you're not Australian enough to be in this production you can't do this because you're not Australian enough. You're too pretty, you’re too this, you’re too that, you’re too -- and I never felt that. It was always, you know, strange to me because people are always, I realized, throwing labels on to me. And I'm not a label, I’m not a category. I’m more like a verb, you know? [laughter]

J: I’m gonna borrow that one day.

C: I just think that I'm always changing, and that I'm always growing, and nobody knew where to put me, or what to do with me, so they just said that I couldn't do it. And then I worked with Ellen Burstyn in a master class -- take that NIDA -- and she was the first person really to say, “You,” -- she called me out in front of the entire master class, you know, there were 300 people and there were 18 people from around Australia who were working with her, 17 of, like, the most famous Australian actors, and me, who had lied my way into this workshop. And she said, in front of everybody, “You have real talent. You could really do this. But you’re gonna need to work really really really hard. So, who do you want to be?” And that's when I knew, you know. “OK, it’s going to be tough. But I can do this.” And still nobody would cast me in anything. [shrugs]

J: So the first time I met you is when you won the Heath Ledger scholarship, which was Australians in Film in L.A., which I’m part of, that gave you that award. But it didn’t open doors overnight for you. Can you talk a little bit about that time in your life? That was, though a definite step in the direction of people saying, “We see you, we know you have talent, it’s just a matter of time.”

C: It’s so important, it’s so important, you know. To be witnessed, to be acknowledged, is one of the first steps. It's only the first step. It doesn't, you know -- because you yourself need to get over the need for everybody else's validation. But when you have professional bodies or organizations, and something like the Heath Ledger scholarship… Again, you know, when I won the Heath Ledger scholarship, everybody was stunned. There was a sense of, you know, there are all of these, like home-and-away people. These Australian actors, and these -- and everybody was like, “Who the hell is this kid, that just won this?” You know? I mean, I won it off like, self-tapes. It wasn’t like I had some big CV.

J: The judging panel was pretty big, at the time.

C: Colin Farrell was one of them. That was fun. What a cool guy he is. So I was all of a sudden being acknowledged by all of these people, and this body that was saying, “You know what? We actually really believe you can do this.” It was the first step in that there were many to come, because then for the first three and a half years in Los Angeles, I could not get arrested. I was living -- I had the $10,000 that I was given from that, and you know, that included -- you have to move into a house, you have to have to have things to live on. I had a mattress on the floor, I had a couch, and I was very happy. And me and my roommate would buy everything that we owned from Bed Bath & Beyond then every month, it would be like, “What can go back? So that we can make the rent?” So we’d be returning the curtains, and we’d be returning the curtain rods. You know? Things like we’d return the couch covers, and the pillow inserts. You know, we were adding it up, and we were making rent.

And we were working. I was auditioning all the time, and again it was the same thing was coming up: “You’re too this, you’re too that, you’re too,” -- nobody knew where to place me. Everybody wanted me to play the boy next door, and I just didn't want to do it. I just refused to do it.

J: I never lived next door to anyone that looked like you. [laughter]

C: Oh, shucks! So I just -- so I played a game for a while, that everybody wanted me to play, which was, “You're going to be the next great action star.” How boring. “You’re, you know, that's what you're gonna be.” Ugh, so boring. So, but I did it. I wore really -- I'm sure when you met me I was wearing really plain clothes, I was really just like, “How's it going?” You know, I really wanted to just be OK. I just wanted to be liked. I just wanted to work. And it didn't work. It didn't work. And then I went through three and a half years of hell, but that was so much fun, because it really tested my mettle. It made, you know -- when you are living in survival mode in Los Angeles -- and I’d never been to Los Angeles. I got off the plane in Los Angeles and I was like, “No matter what happens. this has to work out, so I just have to bank on myself.” I had no friends, I knew nobody.

I slept on a girl's yoga mat for two weeks, and she would come home, and she would have like schizophrenic outbursts and… it was weird. And I was sleeping on a yoga mat for $900 a month, because I didn't know that that wasn't what you did in Los Angeles. And then at night we would put plays together -- it was really strange. It was very strange. But then it got more stable and it tested my mettle, like, “How badly do I really want this? And how hard am I willing to work for it?” And every single time I had a self-tape, every single time I had an audition, for me it was like the herculean effort of crafting a full performance. And no matter what they said to me I was going to do what I wanted to do and what I knew was right, I mean, obviously with notes and what-not. But what I mean was really working, really working. Because if this is my only opportunity, then I need to love what I'm doing, and that includes auditioning. Because if you're not gonna let me do this, I’m gonna be the one that gets to do this, and you can’t tell me no. Because I love this. So all I need is to audition; I don’t need you to give me the role.

And slowly things started to shift. It was between me and Dane DeHaan, and me and Dane DeHaan, and me and Miles Teller, and me and -- and they still couldn’t figure out, “Is he Miles Teller? Is he Dane DeHaan? Is he Logan Lerman?” And I was like -- they just couldn’t figure it out. And then finally, Ryan Murphy came along, and said, “I know who he is; he’s Cody Fern.” And just like that, the world changed, overnight. Because Ryan Murphy said, “You’re not anybody else other than who you are and I know that you can act. So, let’s get on with it.”

J: You had wanted -- you had thought that Ryan Murphy was the guy that would recognize that.

C: I knew he was the guy. I’d said to my agent --

J: You just had to get in the room with him at some point, right?

C: I’d said to my agents, “You need to introduce me to Ryan Murphy.” And they said, “That’s not how it works.” You know, I was like, “This Ryan guy is really onto something. Trust me.” This was years ago, you know, but I was like, “He’s really -- he’s got something going on.” And everyone was like, “Yeah, OK, Cody.” And you know, he was famous. Ryan was famous, but American Crime Story had not come out yet. So he had done Glee and he had done Nip/Tuck and he’d done -- but it was really when American Crime Story hit, the people went, “Whew, my god. Ryan Murphy is a genius, genius, genius.” And I was like, “Yeah, he's been around for years, guys. You didn't see this?”

But, you know, what's funny is that the process of that three and a half years of testing my mettle also became about workshopping for myself as an actor, and a human being, and growing and learning and bringing something to the table as an actor. Because I don’t see myself as an actor, I see myself as an artist. And that is not just, “I'm an artist and so therefore I finished my work.” It means that the work has just begun, and I need earn it, constantly, every day. You have to earn it. You can't just say it and then, like, that's it. And then somebody else, like, proclaims that you are that, and then it’s over and done with. It doesn't work like that for me. And it was a process of becoming more authentic, and the more authentic I became, leading up to the point where I auditioned for Ryan Murphy, all of the sudden it just -- doors started flying open. And now people ask me who I am. Now that -- now, you know, people are -- now that, like, I am the Genderfuck Rebel, which I... you know, OK.

J: Which was written on the cover of British CQ, which I wish I had a big copy of right now. Just came out. If you go on Cody's Instagram, you’ll see a copy of the cover.

C: Yeah, it’s really sexy. It’s really [goofy?]

J: There is a picture of him and it says Genderfuck Rebel, right?

C: Mm-hmm.

J: There you go.

C: And I don’t mind. Like, I now start to understand that, and I’m OK to accept that, that when you function outside of the realm of what people expect from you, it's rebellious. And I'm OK with that. I'm good with that. Because now I don't have to do what they want me to do. I get to do what I want to do.

J: Right. Well, I mean the name of this Game Changers panel is Shattering the Hollywood Mold: Bold and Unapologetic. Which, pretty much, if you look that up, would be a photo of you. So, talk a bit more about shattering the mold. I mean, Ryan saw you as you, and put you into some really unique roles. Were you still feeling that you didn't fit into a particular model? Did you not want to fit into a mold? Or is the mold, like, not fitting in?

C: No, you know, it’s interesting. It’s hard to talk about, because I've tried to figure it out so many times myself. I think in any one day, I -- you know, I've always struggled with my identity, in every single realm of my life. It's been hard to figure out who I am. And to figure out how I got to where I got to, and it's -- it's a mind game. And my mind is really, you know me, it's really like a struggle sometimes. But a fun struggle, at least. And I studied -- my second degree was in psychology and I really love the psyche, and, you know all of the intricacies of the psyche. The shadow and the ego and what makes up a human being. But for me, what I find fascinating about all of that is that every time I think I’ve figured myself out, it slips out of my fingers. And it can be that you're wearing different clothing, it can be that you’ve been a different person, it could be that your interest has changed, or one day you wake up and you just don't know who you are anymore. And that process of constantly finding myself, knowing who I am, and finding an expression for it, and then losing completely, has meant that I actually -- I can't stay with one thing for too long, and I have to go with my instinct at the time. So breaking the mold, for me, has really become about…

You know, what I did at the Golden Globes -- I knew we were going to talk about this at some point. What I did at the Golden Globes was not about… Because Vogue called. And said, you know, we want to do a piece on you, about your Golden Globes look, and we’ll talk about the Golden Globes look and blah, blah, blah. And I said, “Well, I don’t want to talk about it. Because I don’t want to have to explain it.” You know, I’d said what I had to say when I rocked up, wearing what I was wearing.

J: Which, if people didn’t see you, do you wanna describe?

C: Well, it was beautiful.

J: It was. It was a sheer black shirt, what was it, like a chiffon?

C: Maison Margiela, sheer with pants very similar to these, and Tabi boots. And makeup. And it was glamorous. And I wanted to do that because it’s so boring on the red carpet. you know it's like every guy comes wearing the same thing that his mother dressed him in for his year 12 formal. [laughter] And I just don’t get why we’re continuing to do it. Like, time after -- and then people are like, “Oh, we spent six months making this tuxedo.” Really? You could’ve got it off the rack at Target. [laughter]

So, I just didn’t understand. I also needed people to help me with that, you know, and I had a lot -- I have a lot of people in my life who really helped. And it just became about -- what’s beautiful? And what’s art? And that you yourself can become an art piece. And that you yourself can become -- I wanted to wear what I found stunning. Because it’s, you know -- I wanted to feel… beautiful is what I wanted to feel on that carpet. Because it was my first Golden Globes, and my whole life I’ve been told, you know, I was an ugly, terrifyingly stupid, dumb, untalented -- I mean, you name it, I’ve been called it. And it was a real statement to myself, I didn’t care about anybody else, that, “You’re here, Cody. You made it to this point. Wear what you wanna wear.”

J: And you wore it right up on that stage when Versace won the Golden Globe.

C: We won the Emmy. Or Golden Globe! Jesus Christ.

J: So, yes, there you were.

C: Beg your pardon.

J: It’s all right.

C: We won the Emmy as well.

J: You won the Emmy as well.

C: I wasn’t at the Emmys because I was working on Horror Story that night. That’s why I didn’t make that. But yeah, that was a real -- I remember being on stage the Golden Globes and just being like, “Breathe. Breathe.” It's like, “There’s Lady Gaga, there’s…” You know, it’s just like -- it was wild. And especially for a kid who was just like, “That's what I want to do.” I mean it's, I mean, no one in Southern Cross had ever been to university, to college. How do I figure out how that happened for me? How do I figure out how that, and the courage that it took to do that? And it’s like at some point in time I realize it's just about -- you’ve just gotta put your hands down in the mud, and get on with it. You've just gotta do what you feel is right, and... fuck ‘em. You know?

J: Yeah

C: You’ve got to get on with it.

J: So, I mean, talking about bold and unapologetic was exactly what you decided to do on the Golden Globes red carpet. So, I know you don’t want to get into the why and the whole Vogue thing.

C: No, I don’t mind with you.

J: But I did find the story you told me about the stylist who insisted that you shouldn't dress like that, that you should do the tux thing. That was someone you hired and then you had to…

C: Actually, that was an interesting one because two days before the Golden Globes, you know, I’m going through designers after designers after designers, and nobody knew who I was at that point in time, so nobody cared to dress me. So I really had to figure out what I wanted to wear, and I had given her a list of all the designers that I wanted and really what I wanted to do at the Globes, and that I wanted to make a statement about gender. And the statement that was being made about gender is however you want to take it. I'm not going to explain it to anyone because I think it's -- what I did was for other people to interpret. But I rock up to the thing and she's got like a Hugo Boss suit and, like, you know, another Hugo Boss suit. And then there are dresses and skirts, and I'm like, “OK, I get it, but what is this about?” And she's like, “Well, you wanna, like, mess around with gender.” And I was like, “No no no no no.” That's -- it's not edgy because you're wearing a skirt on the red carpet, that's not what I want to do. I wanna wear something that's objectively beautiful, that's really, because, in and of itself it's a beautiful piece.

And then I got a lot of backlash from people being like, “This is too risque, this is going to be received as offensive, this is going to be -- you should really do what everybody else does.” And I was like losing sleep over it, coming -- you know, we're supposed to be at the event on the Friday, and I didn't have anything to wear, and it's the Golden Globes, you know. It's like one of the year's biggest fashion events, as well as, you know, what it actually is honoring. So I did it all myself.

J: So you went shopping.

C: I went shopping. I bought the pieces with my own money. I paid for people to come and help me with my makeup and with my hair. Every element of it was my own thing.

J: And the afterwards, you were named one of the best dressed on the carpet by everybody.

C: I beat Lady Gaga.

J: So that must have felt, you know, like, pretty great.

C: Great. It felt great. It felt great.

J: You took -- you put yourself out there, again, and that people recognize you were being authentic. You know, that's where -- when your motives come from that place.

C: That's why I can say it felt great. Because it doesn't come from a place of ego or immodesty. It’s not like, “Oh, I’m this and I’m that, and I’m blah, blah, blah.” Ugh, you know, I don't care for that. But I also am like, “Now I am able to absorb some good,” you know. I used to be a very self-loathing, self-hating, self-chastising person. And now, I’m learning to -- when you see good, like, receive it. You know? Allow yourself to breathe it in. Because it's not all about being tortured, and I'm plenty tortured, so I can honestly say it felt good. It felt good, because it felt like -- I didn't need it, by the way. I thought that it was gonna go one of two ways. The next day, it was gonna be an absolutely joke in all of the trades, and I would be able to stand in the middle of all that and say, “I did what I did, and I know it was right.” Or it's going to go the other way. And it was strange. There were people on the carpet, and everybody was like, “Who is this guy? And who cares?” And then I hit that red carpet and there was an audible gasp from the wall of photographers. And Rami Malek had just walked the carpet, who was nominated, and all of a sudden everybody was screaming my name. And that's when I knew this was gonna be big.

J: And then Billy Porter took it one step further on the Oscar red carpet.

C: Billy Porter is the best human being alive today. I love Billy. We worked together on Horror Story, and Billy is a hero.

J: Yeah, he is. Now let's talk about your work, and particularly starting off with your Ryan Murphy work. Versace was the first thing you did. That role was a difficult role because, you know, we're in this very dark world of this guy that we know what he's going to do, and he's in love, or really, obsessed with your character. What was it like, you know, working in that environment? I don't know if Ryan directed any of your episodes, [Cody shakes his head no] and you got to know Darren Criss and everybody else. What was that experience like, to be on the set like that?

C: That was one of the best experiences of my life. Once you've worked on a Ryan Murphy set, particularly something like American Crime Story, everything else is ruined for you. Because it's a family, first and foremost. And if you don't belong in the family, then, you're excommunicated. And I don't mean that in the sense of, like, you did bad work, or you blah, blah, blah. But like, if you don’t fit in, if you’re not a kind person, and if -- the two things that matter the most in the Ryan Murphy world is that you are kind, and that you are hard-working. You've got to show up day after day. I got that script. I knew that this was going to be my door in with Ryan, I knew that I was gonna play this role, and I knew what this guy was going through. I could play this.

I flew back from London for the audition -- I was working on a script at the time in London -- and I flew back. And I decided that I need to empty the tank in this audition room. This is the last audition I'm going to do for a year and a half, because I’m gonna go off and I’m gonna direct a film. Because it was just becoming too heartbreaking, having people be like, “You were the best person for the role but we’re not -- you're not getting it.” I was like, “I can’t do this anymore. My heart is breaking.” And then I got the call from Ryan. And that set was the most loving, supportive environment, especially because I came in with what was possibly the hardest task of the series, which was -- we know that this guy is going to die from the outset, and you need everybody to fall in love with you, and you need to play the most extreme emotions imaginable, from the very first scene that you'll be filming, where your best friend's head is beaten in with a clawhammer, and everybody has been working already for eight weeks, and everybody knows each other and is a family, and... good luck.

So I really had to work my ass off. And the writers, Tom Rob Smith is so amazing and Darrin and I have completely different ways of working, you know. I’m really, like, I have the earphones on and I'm very, like, you know sitting on emotions and things. Because in that role, I needed it. And that’s the difference between something like Versace and Horror Story is in Versace, if you’re not, if that character -- he was a real person. He has real family who are suffering today, still, because of what happened. And that we knew going in I'd been told by the team that David and Jeff's story, the thesis of this story -- there's everything else around it, and people want to watch you know Penelope Cruz they want to watch Gianni, but it was really a Trojan Horse for the truth of what was happening, which was gay shame.

And David embodied all of that, you know, David had to die because of that. And I was only supposed to be in one episode, so they kept writing me in. That's when I knew, something's happening here. But I had one episode to do it in. So it was a lot of fun, but it was it was a big responsibility and I really shouldered that. And it was hard.

J: And then at some point, while you were still filming that, Ryan took you aside and said, “I’ve already got another role for you?”

C: Ryan and I had not met, really, when I started filming. And I kind of barged into Ryan’s office and said, “I wanna meet Ryan Murphy.” You know, I just literally -- and everybody was like, “You should not do this, this is bad, this is bad, this is bad.” And Ryan was sitting there eating lunch. And his assistant was like [shakes his head]. And I kinda left being like, “I’m about to get fired.” And then I got a phone call, and it was, you know, “Ryan Murphy wants to see you in his office.” And… I’m about to get fired. And he said, you know, “I saw your addition, blah, blah, blah. I haven't seen your dailies yet. I don't watch an episode until it's fully cut together because I want to give all the artists involved their opportunity, you know.”

And then I got called in after he saw the first cut of the fourth episode, and it was on. And that's when he was like, “I want you to play everything.” And he asked, he said, “What do you wanna do?” And I said, “I wanna work with Sarah Paulson and Kathy Bates.” And he said, “You need to work with Sarah Paulson. You’re gonna be the lead in the next Horror Story.” OK. You know, I was like, “All right.” And he told me the role that I would be playing, which was not the role that I ended up playing. I was gonna be the good guy. And two days before Horror Story started, I was told, “You’re Michael Langdon, the Antichrist.”

J: A little bit of a switch.

C: Good luck. Yeah. I love it. I love that.

J: So then you got on a set with Kathy Bates and Sarah Paulson. That must have been like -- for a boy who grew up with the divas...

C: And Jessica Lange and Joan Collins. I mean I was just like rolling around in the bed of candy, it felt like. It was -- it was so easy to do that role. It really was easy. It was, because you’re working with Sarah Paulson -- if you're ever lost in a scene, look at Sarah. You're in the room with Jessica Lange. Throw your ideas out the window and have fun. Kathy Bates and I -- it was like a mother and son relationship that became a real-life mother and son relationship, you know. She calls me son. And I had loved them all so much. And it was -- the first scene that I had in American Horror Story is in the second episode, when I have to interrogate Sarah Paulson's character, and it's a nine-and-a-half-page scene. Everybody else has been filming for three weeks, and I come in, and this is my first scene, and I had got the script two days before, and it's nine pages, and its opposite Sarah Paulson. Whew.

J: And you have to be the bossy one.

C: I have to be in charge. But what was great about it was that I really had to breathe, and I made sure that I was breathing, and my feet were on the ground. And I was like, “OK, you know, you're here. This is where you've always wanted to get to, so lock in, and go. Like, this is your chance, go.” And it was funny because we started acting and I'll never forget that Sarah kind of looked at me as if like, “Who the fuck is this guy?” You know? And after, we spoke about it she was like, “Normally people come in, and they’re so intimidated and blah, blah, blah.” And she was like, “And you just came straight out of the gate with choices.” And we were kind of laughing by the end of the scene, because, we were making power moves on each other. Like I’d be like, “Take a seat,” and she wouldn’t sit down. [laughter] And so I was like, “Ugh.” Really just threw me for six. So I knew that she had this hump on her back. You know, and that some point in time, it was kind of like -- there was going to be this big moment so I get to say, well like, “Take off your dress.” And it’s like, she’s like, “I’m not gonna do that.” You know, in the scene. And, we had fun.

J: That’s awesome. House of Cards. That was a weird experience, I would imagine.

C: Next.

J: Because you were actually already working on that -- we won’t go, well, we won’t go there. We’ll just go to the experience of making it. Because --

C: I was the last person to be… dangerously close to the clutches of Kevin Spacey. It's true. It's true. I mean, it's awkward, but... the man was a monster. He's a very talented actor, but he was not a very nice human being. And he was not a very generous professional. And it was messed up. Everything that was happening on that set. It was messed up. I mean what -- you know, they were holding it together. I'm not talking about anybody outside of Kevin Spacey and Kevin Spacey's actions. But at some point in time, you know, the needle’s going to have to move towards talking about complicity. And that's just the fact. And I had a great experience working with Robin. I loved working with Robin Wright. Robin Wright is one of my heroes. I mean, I had been watching House of Cards longer than I had been acting. And that was one of the first things, you know -- I wanted to be Claire Underwood. So, that was --

J: I loved that you wanted to be Claire, not Frank.

C: Yeah, because she’s so good. I mean, she’s so good. And she’s a genius.

J: And you had Diane and Greg Kinnear as your parents.

C: Diane Lane, oh my god. And Greg Kinnear. I had an amazing role. I mean, I -- we'd been shooting for three months. My role was very different. So when we came back to shoot that --

J: Just tell everybody -- you’d already been shooting for that long. Everything happened, he was fired. And then they had to take time to rewrite the script. And then you all had to come back.

C: And then we all had to come back.

J: And pick up the pieces.

C: We didn't have to come back, we chose to come back. And Robin was really a big part of that. And then we had to pick up the pieces. But, you know, it was a difficult process. I really wanted to be there, because it was -- it was this moment. It was supporting Robin, and it was really important. But as an actor, you know, it was one of the most challenging experiences of my life. Because here you are in an environment that feels fundamentally like it’s fallen apart. And your character has gone from being the arch-nemesis of the series to being taffeta. And nobody -- you know, everything is -- as it's going on around -- you know, this is to say, everyone on that show is phenomenal. The writers are some of the most exceptional writers in the world. Frank and Melissa as show-runners are exceptional. Robin Wright, you know, bow down. But that doesn't -- I can hold two things at one time. That it was one of the great honors of my life to be on House of Cards. You know? House of Cards. Ugh!

J: It’s known as the house that built Netflix.

C: The house that built Netflix. And at the same time hold in the other palm of my hand that it wasn't a great experience for me, and that's OK to say. In that it was very hard for me as an actor, and for the character. I mean it's like, you know -- I have a joke that is like, people talk about Duncan and what Duncan is doing more than Duncan is actually doing anything. “You gotta watch out for Duncan Shepherd.” “Yeah, well, where the fuck is he?” So, I’m gonna get in trouble for all of that.

J: We’ll tell everyone to turn off their tape recorders today, whenever they’re doing it.

C: The truth is that it was, you know -- I was happy to be a part of that moment and that movement, because hopefully things have shifted and changed. Because my opinion on it -- everyone is, you know I'm tired of this, I’m really tired of political correctness at the moment. And everyone stepping around on eggshells and nobody having an opinion, and everybody being very careful about what they say, in case the Twitter mob comes after them. And ugh. It just drives me crazy. This group-think at the moment drives me mental. And the truth is, it was it was wonderful to be a part of that experience, in that moment and what was happening, and to support Robin, and to stand behind it. But the needle now needs to move towards talking about complicity and the systems that are put in place to allow people like Kevin to do what Kevin was doing and he was doing it. And I’m OK to say it.

J: OK. I’m gonna open it up for questions --

C: Bold and unapologetic. [laughter]

J: Like I said, look that up in the dictionary, and it’s your face.

C: I’m absolutely going to get in trouble for that. But I don’t give a fuck, So…

J: All right. So who has a question for Cody?

Q1: Can you tell us anything about upcoming projects that you’re working on?

C: I can tell you absolutely nothing. But I can tell you that I am working on upcoming projects.

J: With Ryan Murphy?

C: I can’t say that. I can’t not say that. Maybe. Maybe, we'll see. I mean, the way Ryan works is very much like, you know a week out of what's going on. So we'll see if that works out. But you know, I would throw myself in front of a bullet for Ryan Murphy, so, you know, if he wants me to play a doorknob in a scene, I’ll play a doorknob.

J: But you have been doing writing and directing and stuff. Do you want to talk a little about, you know, some of your own projects?

C: Yeah, I love writing, and I love directing. I mean, directing a feature film had to take a backseat for the moment because, you know, first and foremost, what I love is acting, and to really shoot a feature film, and do what you want to do with it, and do it right is 18 months of your life. From, you know, pre-production to production to post-production to festivals to getting your mental sanity back in order. So I can't really afford at the moment -- well, I can, but I don't want to take 18 months off. I love acting. I love it. I mean, it's really you know --

I think we've reached a place, with artistry and with acting, that frightens me. Because what's begun to happen is that we've forgot that it's an art form, and it's become purely about entertainment, and what's happening in schools at the moment, what's happening around the world is that people don't grow up anymore -- You know, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” “Famous,” is the number one answer. Famous. It's not that much fun. It's tough. I mean, I’ve had things happen to me recently that are unimaginable, you know, my family being targeted. It's horrible. It’s not an end in and of itself; it's a byproduct of something, and I think that we've reached a time where there are so many drama schools and there are so many acting classes and there are so many -- but people don't know what they're going to learn anymore. They're going because they want to be somewhere that they see on the television, and I think it's really going to come from somewhere deep inside of you. And we’re starting to ask more and more, like, “What can I get out of this,” as opposed to, “What can I give?” You know? “What can I really give to this art form and to this craft?” And I love that with writing and directing, but if I’m going to give it, I need to give all of myself to it. I can't do it half-assed. And in the content wars that are going on at the moment, where it’s like, it’s OK to make something that’s absolutely trash, as long as millions of people are watching it. You know, it's a subversive act to make something that's really meaningful and to get really honest about what that is.

The reason I did Horror Story, for example, and was able to play the Antichrist was because I was ready to talk about evil, and what great evil is, and what great evil means, and how we get there, and who's right and who's wrong in that equation. In American [Crime] Story, we were talking about gay shame, and about homophobia and about a man who couldn't come to terms with himself, but had one final heroic act before he died, which was to be authentic. To face his murderer head-on to say, “It's over.” You know, “I know who I am now, and I'm gonna die for it.” People aren’t willing to die for anything anymore. And I don't mean, like, you know, physically, just physically. I mean metaphorically. I mean, like, what is your street value? When you walk into a bar, and all of the shit that you tell people, and all of the things that you say you are, fades away, and you actually have to be who you really are, what’s your street value? What do you have to offer? Because fame ain’t it, you know? There's enough famous people. Rant over. Next. [laughter]

J: All right, we’re gonna let this person here ask a question, who won the award for having driven the furtherest, 500 miles to be here today. Do you wanna take the microphone? OK, go ahead.

C: Everyone can hear.

Q2: Are you satisfied with how Michael's story ended in Horror Story? And if you're not, how would you want it this story arc to end?

C: I think that it's Ryan's story, and I'm there to service Ryan’s story. So, there are things that you may be thrilled with, things that you may not be thrilled with. But the thing about Michael’s ending that I love the most is that Michael Langdon dies as an innocent teenage boy, before we understand that he is the great evil that he has become. So what happens when you do that is you ask that question, “If you got to travel back in time would you kill baby Hitler?” Right? That's the question that's being asked in that scene. Would you do it? Would you leave him in the street? And there’s subtleties to that ending, which people don't necessarily recognize. The beauty of when Constance Langdon looks at the Murder House, when Michael asks her to drag him there to be with his family for all of time, and she looks down to Michael and she says, “Go to hell,” and she walks away. She doesn't say it with animosity; she understands the buck stops here, you know? With great suffering and great pain, because, remember, Constance kills herself, so it's actually a very tragic ending. And the ending that comes from that, with the Antichrist being reborn in another form, it's like, yeah, I'm going to stop the devil. And that's the statement about evil. It's always coming back. It's coming back; you've just got to decide when you pick up the sword and fight it, and whose, you know, which side of the field are you on. So, I don't question Ryan’s judgments. I just play them.

Q3: Cody, Katrina Cooper. Thanks, you’ve shared some really personal stuff with us about your childhood.

C: Did I? I try not to.

Q3: No, it’s terrific. I think it’s really inspiring for young people out there who might be going through tricky stuff themselves. I kinda have two questions relating to that. Number one, what advice do you have for young people who feel that they’re not fitting for whatever reason? I mean, what made you strong enough to get through that? And number two, for people like me -- a parent of kids or teachers or friends or whatever -- what can people do to support kids that feel like you felt?

J: It’s a great question.

C: How much time have we got?

J: Yeah, really. How much time do we have, by the way?

C: Who cares?

J: Is there someone here who can tell me?

C: OK, so I'm gonna answer this question, and I don’t mind. I will keep going until the sun comes up.

J: Someone kinda give me a wrap-up signal?

C: When we need it. So, the first question was, what advice would I give to somebody, you know, a younger person maybe like myself, maybe like you, who doesn't fit in. And my advice would be -- and how to deal with that. My advice would be: don't fit in. It's so boring to fit in. It’s so, it’s so banal. I mean, it is just, like, a boring life, when you fit in. But that's easy to say, because when you're young, especially when you're a very young teenager, and you don't fit in, and people target you for it, and you’re bullied, and you're called names, and you might even be physically hurt for it -- it doesn't feel like not fitting in is a good option.

But let me tell you this: every single person who ever got out of high school alive, and who is looking back on their life, always says, “Man, I wish I could just go back, knowing what I know now, and I do it all again.” Because you would really be like, “Fuck ‘em all.” You know, like, I wish I went to my year 12 prom wearing whatever I wanted to wear, you know, and like, I'm not gonna say the things that I would do. But really, you know, like the thing about fitting in is that the people who are driving that horse, the ones who are most popular, the ones who are the head of those groups, are losers. They're losers, I mean, it's so pathetic. I'm telling you now, you're gonna get to like 10 years outside of school, and if you've been bullied, and if you don't fit in, you have to work harder than everybody else, you have to suck up your feelings, you have to grow a thick skin, you have to get resilient, and you have to get on with it. And about 10 or 15 years from now, you know, you'll go back to your hometown, and you'll see them, and you'll write me a letter, and we'll talk.

It's not to say that I'm, you know, there's any sense of bitterness or what-not about that, it's just about -- listen, pressure makes diamonds. In hard times, really galvanize who you are and who you can be. And if you have the strength to get through them, if you have the conviction of your own moral compass, if you can find beauty within yourself and within the world, if you can survive it, you’re gonna thrive when you get out of school. Don't worry, school is such a short period of time. You're never going to see those people again. And if you do, good for you. But, chances are, you’re not going to see the people you were at school with ever again. And you've got to get on with your life. That's the thing about fitting in, right? You live your life for other people, so that other people feel comfortable. How boring is that? You know, it's really boring to fit in, so don't worry about it. Don't worry about if people like you or not. Lots of people hate me. I love it. [laughter]

J: Just the other part of that question, then we have to wrap up. What would you say to a parent?

C: That's a tough one, because for me, you know, parents do the best they can with the means that they have. I had to understand that about my parents. I had to go back and really be like, you know, they were doing the best they could. But I think that my advice to parents would be to mirror your child back to them, with love. To allow yourself the courage to be a mirror, and to understand that this human being that is in front of you is actually not you, is not and should not be the best parts of what you think life are, but the amalgamation of lessons that they're learning with your guidance. Because they're gonna go through it. They're gonna get hurt, they’re gonna fail. Miserably. It’s about --

[This is where the live video hit 1:00:00 and Instagram cut it off. If someone has the rest recorded, please let me know!] ((final 5 minutes transcripted by duncan-shepherd)) C [cont.]: Stand[ing] as a mirror to your child, if you can stand as a mirror to any person, you know the worst thing is when you’re talking to a person and they’re waiting for their opportunity to jump in and say what they wanna say or that you’re talking to a person because you need advice and you know the only reason they're giving you the advice that they’re giving you is because they’re too afraid to do that thing themselves. Or they wouldn't do it. It’s really about listening to what somebody is saying and being like huh I wouldn’t do that but why do you want to. Talk to me about that and how you feel about that? Because being witnessed and this is the important thing, being witnessed by somebody is one of the most powerful acts that we can experience and you can stand in front of somebody, open and vulnerable and authentic, and have them just say “yeah okay I see you”. And they’ll accept you. “I might not like it but that's you”. To me that's the most powerful act we have, I think. J: Oh Cody Fern, we see you. Sorry, that was the corniest way to end this. C: No, I like it!!! J: But I’m sure I speak for everyone in here with that we’re just so grateful that you opened up and shared so much of yourself with us today and on behalf of G’day USA, we’re just so happy to have you here with all the Aussies. C: Thank you so much!

-------Again massive thank you and love to eakintata for the hard work and love she put into this.

#cody fern #sxsw #interview #transcript #*

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