#it was supposed to be just the laziest way to make an unimportant character but now i kinda like him

[siri-ike]

@megasweetbones I'm making this the prequel to the other fic

Warning ⚠�� suicidal thoughts from a child, ploting to murder a child, multiple deaths, semi successful suicide, S.A., victim blaming negative self-talk

(Also, let me know, do you want the warning, or is it too much of a spoiler?)

Pronunciation guide for the name Álaug

Ál sounds like owl, Au sounds like eui, soft G

The thorns dug into her palm, causing her to bleed, but she refused to loosen her grip. This is it. Álaug thought as gravity brought her closer and closer to her inevitable end. Well, actually, she thought, "Í víti finn ég loksins frið" but, she's about to die, she's allowed to be a litte edge lord right now. The closer she got the brighter she could see the glow of the Lazarus water from behind her. She kurled in on herself around the black rose as the pit swallowed her whole.

One week earlier

This is it. This is the day Athanasia will escape. She's planned it for months, and it's finally time.

"Your target is Gord Keener, a Canadian politician. He's sponsoring a girl's hockey league. You will each join one of the teams to get close and kill him once you get the opportunity."

Athanasia stood perfectly still, as Grandfather assigned her her first leading role for a mission since being declared an unsuccessful attempt. It would just be her and Danielle, no, Daniel. He had told her just a few nights ago. No way would Grandfather accept him like that, especially on top of all his other issues, so she had to bring him. Which is fine. She can hunt food for herself. What's one more? Plus, she's ha- he's had some combat training, too. That's gonna take some getting used to.

The problem started when Grandfather made her bring Álaug. Come on, she had only been there for 2 months. She's not ready for a task. She barely speaks their language. But you know what? Athanasia is nothing if not resilient. She will overcome this obstacle. And not just because Daniel begged her not to kill her and push her body of a steep cliff.

Tryouts were easy, Daniel was great in cold environments, and Álaug was surprisingly a fantastic skater. They successfully infiltrated the 7, 8, and 9 year old teams.

Even with the added obstacle, this all felt too perfect. If Athanasia didn't know any better, she'd think Grandfather was purposely putting all his problems in one boat to get rid of them. The mission itself is so inconsequential. What could one polite snowman do to them?

"What about you, Jasmine?... Jasmine?"

Oh, right. Jasmine was the name she had given.

"What?"

"Which comic do you want? Alicia brought a bunch." One of the Olivias stated.

"I have Phantom Stranger, Tales from Atlantis, Boom-boom Kaboom, Return of the Gray Ghost, and The Time Keeper. Everything else is already taken."

These girls don't even know her. And from how Alicia had spoken about her books, they were clearly important.

Atha- Jasmine ended up reading 7 issues of the Time Keeper. A mysterious cloaked figure who punishes time travelers for messing with the timestream. What utter nonsense. The real Time-Wraiths would never be as welcoming and well spoken as this Time Keeper. And yet she can't stop reading. That is, until she gets to the 7th issue. In it, there's a side plot where three young girls are planning to assassinate a member of the time council. The oldest and youngest were sisters. The youngest looked exactly like Daniel but had short hair, and the third character was the most concerning. In the story, the girls told the Green Hornet that they were being blackmailed into doing the job, but in the end, it turned out the third girl had been sent as a spy.

Athanasia can in no way be considered gullible or naive. Even by assassin standards, she can sniff out a lie a mile away. But this, this is different. But the book she chose happened to be the one that warns of a traitor? That has to be an omen, or some kind of spirit trying to warn her.

At this point, Daniel is used to pretending to be one of the girls. But it felt different this time. One of his teammates had asked if she could call him Dani for short, and it felt so right. Righter than "Daniel" had felt. "Danny" was absolutely perfect.

There wasn't really any information gathering to do, so he was free to play sleepover games with the rest of his group. For once, he was included with the others. The adults didn't try to separate him or tell him he's too weak or that he was a waste of resources. He was just part of the group. Is this what life will be like outside the league? He couldn't wait to tell Athanasia all about it.

Two months ago Álaug was happily vacationing with her parents and two older brothers. And now she's expected to kill some guy? She had exepted that her parents were dead. She had had to. And even if Bölverkur and Böðólfur had survived in the first place, they definitely couldn't have survived two months alone in the Himalayan mountains. They can't even be left home alone for a week. Couldn't.

"Oley? Oley? Can you hear me?" One of the hockey girls was butchering her name.

"It's Á-laug," There wasn't any feeling in her voice. She used to hate it when people mispronounced her name. "It means curse or charmed lake."

That seemed to catch the girls off guard, and they left her alone for a while after that.

Until one of the adults walked over to her. Not the coach. This is one of the girls' moms.

"Hi, sweetheart." She placed a hand on Álaugs knee only to get slapped away. "Why are you mad at the other girls?"

Leading question, assigning her an emotion rather than asking her how she feels. The assassins taught her all about it. There's no point talking to her because she's already decided what's happening. Álaug stood up in silence and headed towards the door. The woman grabbed her hand. As she expected, there was no attempt to check herself. She would only assign blame. Álaug looked back at her. There was nothing in her eyes, no aggression or sadness, just hollowness. "What is your plan?" She leers. "Hoping that I'll scream and yell, so you can look like the big stong authority figure? Want me to blindly obey your orders so you can feel powerful? What me to cry, so you can comfort the new girl? You didn't even ask what happened. You just decided that I was in the wrong. Because someone told you a biased version of half a story." Álaug was fully aware how uncomfortable she made people, no one likes hearing such complicated accusations from a 9 year old, especially one who is clearly speaking a second language. And the calmness makes her all the more unsettling. But right now, she just couldn't pretend. The parent chaperone, or whatever she was, stood there in stunned silence long enough for Álaug to make her way out of the common area and into one of their bedrooms, where she locked herself in. From there, it was just a matter of climbing out the window. Hopefully, she'd get lucky and never see any of these people again, not the hockey team, the assassins, her cooperatives, anyone. Maybe she'd get lucky and disappear forever. Their room was on the 14th floor. She could disappear right now, and no one could stop her.

🎶🎵🎶

If only whoever was in the room to the left above them could stop singing for five minutes so she could think.

Climbing wasn't just something the league thought her. She was already good. She was on a lot of teams and sports clubs before Nanba Parbat. Not that any of that mattered now. Her friends probably think she died with her family. If only. There was a half-naked man singing and dancing alone in the room. He was way off tune. She climbed properly onto the balcony. Should she pick the lock or knock? Wait, no, why would she need to get in? She didn't care about this guy. The only thing he has going for him is that he hasn't pissed her off yet. She opted for knocking, which startled him in a rather animated manner. He opened the glass door to let her inside.

"Did Henry lock you out here?"

"Ég slapp frá forráðamönnum mínum." Easier to pretend not to know English.

"I don't understand." He paused as though thinking. "WOULD. YOU. LIKE. SOME. TEA?" Idiot.

She walked past him towards the door. But she stops. Putting aside the stupidity of trying to yell over the language barrier, why offer tea? Does he expect her to stay? She hurries, but the door is locked. Hotel doors aren't supposed to lock people in. There must be someth-

"Come now, he was probably just having a bit of fun."

She should have known. How could she be so stupid? Any trustworthy person would have been shocked to see an 8 year old girl in pajamas on their balcony. She didn't need to look back to know he was coming closer. For the first time in two months, she actually felt something. Why'd it have to be fear? She bolted for the nearest open door, which happened to lead to bedroom with a large fancy looking bed. She closed the door behind her, but there was nothing to block it. All she could do was hide. Whether she chose under the bed or in the closet, she'd be at a disadvantage either way. She darted under the bed. Down side: reduced speed, vulnerable position. Upside: he's too big to fit, and he can't reach her if she stays in the center.

"Putting up a fight, huh? I like that. Some of the other girls he hires make it too easy."

Tell him you weren't hired for anything and give away your location? Or assume the worst of a guy who apparently regularly hires girls young enough that she could be confused for one. Easy choice. She trained her eyes on his shoes as closed the door behind him.. Then his pants dropped to his ankles. Álaug reaches a hand into her pajama bottoms, for the knife straped to her thigh. Thank you, League of Assassins... ACTUALLY NO, they're the reason she's here. The league can all go lick this guy's sweaty butthole!

"Do you have braces?" He slowly made his way towards the bed. "The last one had braces. They leave scratches." It sounded like he wanted the answer to be yes.

The closet made a creaking noise, and he turned to it. He opened the closet door and grunted in disappointment. Álaug heard the scratching of hangers sliding around on a metal pole and clothes being shifted around. Interrupted suddenly by a thump, then a second, smaller pair of bare feet land on the floor behind him as he trips forward into the closet. Álaug uses the opportunity to run out from under the bed and slice his exposed ankles. He screamed and swore at the top of his lungs but only for a moment before Álaugs knife was taken from her and stabbed straight into the man's neck. The other girl. She stood there holding the knife in place and covered in blood. She was obscured in the darkness. The man jolted an arm, and Álaug took the chance to leap over to the other girl, grab the knife, and repeatedly stab him in the throat again. She felt a pain in her cheeks. She brought a hand to her face only to find that she couldn't stop smiling. Like this was her life's greatest accomplishment. The other girl took her hand and they left the room together.

In the light of the living area, she could properly make out the girls' features. She had medium brown skin and darker brown currly hair with a few broken butterflies clips in it. Her greenish brown eyes were full of tears and snot poured from her upturned nose. She examined Álaug too. Her eyes darted from her straight, dirty blonde hair to her narrow chin and down to her slightly oversized PJs held together with a headband around her waist.

"I'm Nadia. You?"

"Álaug, it's Owl like the animal Au like in bird and ends with a soft G."

"Oh, ok, um, Nadia is like, ah.-"

"It's fine. I can remember Nadia." Álaug pointed at Nadias loose jersey. "You on one of the teams?"

"Nah, Mama Crieo had me wear this to get into the hotel."

Álaug looked down at the logo on her own top. "Oh, you're an assassin, too?"

"Uhm, no." She looked at Álaug with a bit more scrutiny this time. "Who were you here to assassinate?"

"Gord Keener, a politician, I don't know what he did, can't be as bad as that guy." She gestured back to the unconscious man bleeding out behind them.

Nadia narrowed her eyes. She pointed to a suitcase on the floor. Álaug walked over to it, and Nadia followed, still refusing to let go of her hand. Álaug checked the bag tag from his flight. "Keener"

"Oh, well, that worked out nicely then."

"Nicely? Are you - " She sighed." Never mind, we should get out of here." She holds out her blood-stained jersey. "He probably didn't have spares in our sizes."

Nadia hated the plan. Staying in the suite with a dead body while Álaug climed down to get extra clothes was the absolute last thing she wanted to do, right after having to use their assailants grown man shoes to step in more creep blood to obscure their distinctly child sized bloody footprints. She finished shortly before Álaug got back, wearing two pairs of shorts and to jerseys, and two pairs of sneakers slung over her shoulders. They left the clothes near the body and snuck out using a keycard Nadia had found during her cover-up.

"Olie!"

They were almost to the front door when that same parent chaperone spotted them.

"Olie! Get back here!" She ran towards them. And they sprinted as fast as they could, but it was no use. "Olie, we were worried sick. How did you even get out?" She held tight onto Álaugs wrist.

"I thought your name was Álaug." Nadia remarked.

"So, did, I." Álaug snarked.

"This isn't funny. You're coming with me." She started walking back, dragging a resistant Álaug behind her.

Nadia watched on horrified, a million thoughts rushed in and out of her head, and she did something she never thought she would.

She bit the woman's hand.

It was shocking enough that they both could escape out the front door without being caught.

They stopped in an alley almost three blocks away to catch their breath.

"We need to find a thrift store, catwalk around wearing a recognizable team logo." Álaug suggested.

"Ok," Nadia pulled a battered looking leather wallet from he pants pocket. "20, 40, 60, 80, 90, 100, 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 26, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. We have one hundred and thirty-two dollars. Hope they have coats in our size, or at least thick hoodies." She picked out the ID and credit cards. "Mama Crieo says to never take the cards because they can be tracked." She slips them into a nearby drain cover.

"I can't believe I didn't think to take his money." Álaug looks fondly at Nadia. "That must be why people commit crimes with partners."

The elderly woman who owned the diner they'd hidden behind very helpfully gave them directions to the nearest second-hand store not owned by Debra, to whom she apparently refused to send business. The store she sent them to was perfect. The kids' section was huge, and they were even able to find somewhat matching overalls. Score. Álaugs were mossy green with leaves mushrooms and caterpillar embroidery, paired with a pale yellow bell-sleeved blouse, winter stockings, and black Mary Jane shoes. Nadias were a light pink to orange gradient with butterflies and peach blossom branches, paired with a white long sleeved t-shirt, pale pink winter stockings, and black boots. The hoodie selection was less interesting but they found a purple one with a dinosaur on it and a black one with some stars on the back.

At the counter Álaug quickly ran off and brought back one more item. A pack of butterfly hair clips that she presented to her friend with a smile. They were different from the ones Nadia had, or, the two that were still intact. Her old ones were semi transparent and had round wings. These new ones were glittery and had more square-ish wings. But they were perfect anyway. The price came out to 73CAD and 1 cent. The cashier was nice enough to ignore the one cent so they wouldn't have to carry a bunch of change with them.

Nadia counts their money again after they leave, 59CAD, more than enough for two lunch packs and train tickets. The plan was to go back to Mama Crieo since Henry probably wasn't going to give her a ride back now.

Train tickets for under 12 are 10CAD each, prepackaged sandwiches are 4CAD each, and since somehow water costs money in this country, two water bottles were almost 3CAD, leaving them with only 28.32CAD left.

"Back home water is free." Álaug sat cross-legged in her seat.

"Where is that?" Nadia opened her bottle with a little fizz, she picked the strawberry flavored sparkling water. She wanted a soda, but Álaug told her the salt in it would only make her thirsty again.

"Ísland." She reminisced. That's where her home is, where her grandparents are, her classmates, and where her, her parents, and brothers should all be. "We were on vacation, my mom and dad, Bölverkur and Böðólfur, my brothers." Álaug noticed the confusion on Nadias face. "They were twins, böl means to do something bad, and verk means work or action. Böð means, like, a message about danger or inviting evil, and ólfur comes from úlfur meaning wolf. So Bad do-er and Evil message wolf."

Nadia chucked a bit. And so did Álaug, for a short moment, but it quickly turned to tears.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh, they're perfectly good names." Nadia tried.

Álaug wiped her eyes. "No, it's fine. Æi, They're probably dead, is all. But it's OK, it doesn't hurt as much as before." She sniffled.

Nadia looked down thinking of a way to change the subject. "What does your name mean?"

Inhaling, she tried to steady herself. "Álaug is a combination of álög meaning curse or enchantment, and laug meaning pool. So, a cursed lake. All Icelandic names have some kind of meaning. My dad once got me a book with all the parts of names explained. Like, æ, laug is a pretty common end for a girl name, then there's also Ey meaning island, Rún meaning seacret or friend, Dýs meaning fairy or goddes or some kind of magical woman. For boys' names, there's Ólfur and Úlfur, both mean wolf, Þór God of thunder and lightning, protector of the courts, and those who work the land, Vin meaning friend. There's a whole bunch of them. A lot of starts to, you could pick any of the common starts of a name and a common ending of a name and put them together.-"

That wasn't the end of Álaugs speech,she actually talked about Icelandic naming conversations for almost an hour, and Nadia did not try to stop her. She didn't even remind her to eat her sandwich.

There's way too much of this, so I'll reblog with the second half.

The other fic is Jasmine Al-Ghul

Translations

"Í víti finn ég loksins frið"-> "in the void, I will finally find peace."

"Ég slapp frá forráðamönnum mínum." -> "I escaped from my guardians."

(Ignore my rant in the tags)

If the Lazarus Pits are ectoplasm, what happens if someone throws blood blossoms in one?

[the-kestrels-feather]

Alright I have more thoughts on this than I thought we're gonna do this and I mean do this:

Unpacking My Thoughts on A Haunting in Venice (2023)

((DISCLAIMER: I have not read an Agatha Christie book (yet), specifically not the one this was based on so I am talking solely about the movie not the adaptation of the source material))

(SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT)

So I wanna say this was not the worst movie in the trilogy

((looking at you, Death on the Nile))

And believe me when I say I WANTED to like it

Seeing the trailers made me excited, I love me some Gothic horror and it had all the vibes of that

And I did like some things a lot that I'll touch in at the end

But there was also a lot I really didn't like

For one, it relied WAY too heavily on jumpscares. To me, it's the laziest form of horror, and a lot of the ones in this didn't feel... earned I guess?

Like when Poirot's (apologies in advance if I spell this wrong I was never a speller) in the bathroom and he sees Alicia's ghost

It didn't feel earned in my opinion

Or the one where Harry flies at them when they first enter Alicia's room

Also there was no point to Harry being there?? You could cut the bird entirely from the plot and it would have 0 effect on it overall.

The teacup could've broken some other way and it would've been fine. Like I can't even call the bird comedic relief because he wasn't used like that. He was just there.

Also the opening scene with the seagull grabbing the blackbird? What was that? Can someone explain that to me because it feels like it was completely unimportant.

((also not to go full CinemaSins for a second but how is that room not like. Covered in bird shit? Birds don't have a ton of control over where they poop so it's not like he was litterbox trained))

I'm sorry but Tina Fey's character irritated me.

She was like a less interesting Bouc imo 🤷

That's personal opinion though idk

The Children's Vendetta should've been incorporated better or cut entirely because it wasn't handled super well in my mind.

It felt like an afterthought when it was brought up for the doctor and the medium.

For one, they toned down Poirot's OCD coding, which, seeing as it was really only ever played for laughs, I appreciated as someone with OCD

Again, this isn't the worst movie ever, or the worst of the trilogy

I have a lot of things I liked about it

Please don't make the disorder that makes my life a living nightmare sometimes a quirky trait Kenneth, kay thanks.

And the vibes were IMMACULATE

The shots of the mansion were just.... OH

I liked Leopald a lot, he was a fun character

Those are really the only things I can think of though

That said I don't agree with the review I saw that called it not scary enough

Because it's not supposed to be a horror movie, like another review said it's a whodunnit with horror infused in it

If you want a horror movie go see The Nun II my guy 🤷

Anyways I think those are all my thoughts? At least for now

[manlyronpa]

Long ass DR venting

Man I really just wanna give up on everything, I’m really tired of pretty much loving something but overall not feeling like I’ve gotten anything out of it. As a fan I’m completely disappointed, as I feel the series creators and writers never once considered me a part of their demographic at all. Like everything that appealed to me or interested me from the series just kinda got unceremoniously swept under the rug or mainly used to make other characters look better. I can’t emphasize enough how shitty it feels knowing you have a favorite and that the only time they get brought up is to kind of rub it in your face that they fucked up and they don’t get a second chance. It’s especially shitty when they make it feel like none of them matter and that their only relevance to the story is that their losers. For fuck’s sake, it would not have been that hard to have something, anything for them that doesn’t make them feel like absolutely no one in this series gives a shit about them. The closest I got to that was in AE and AE turned out to be something that had interesting ideas and things, but none of that shit gets explored! And I dunno maybe that’s my biggest fucking gripe with this fucking game series. It plays everything too fucking safe now and it’s fucking uninteresting when it takes those routes. Like god damn, do I even need to bring up DR3? Like how the hell is a long time DR fan supposed to feel about that shit? There’s absolutely no way people who actually love the series as a whole can say it was anything but shit. Did it have cool stuff? Yes. Did it have interesting ideas and great potential to properly go into things and give us a unique view on things? Yes. But the big thing here is that it didn’t do any of that shit. It took the laziest god damn route which was to play everything fucking safe, no one dies, all the SDR2 kids are actually pure cinnamon rolls who did nothing wrong and best of all any and all inconsistencies from previous entries get either cut off, retconned or my personal favorite, out right ignored completely! How dare I get invested in the larger world of Danganronpa or expecting it to deliver at all, especially after SDR2 pussied out on killing anyone. All in all, I love the majority of the characters, I feel almost all of them can bring something interesting, new, or different to the table. Yes, even the SDR2 kids. I don’t fucking hate them as much as people seem to think, I just give them and the DR1 survivors a particularly hard time because they are fucking survivors, I expect more from them. And it’s disappointing the route they took with every single one of them. Even Touko/Syo who should’ve grown since the events of AE just came off as completely regressed or worse than before AE’s events. And that fucking sickens me, the game was supposed to end on the note that Touko was finally detaching herself of her obsession on Togami, so why is she regressing to being worse by tenfold? On top of that, I do enjoy the ideas and messages Kodaka tries to push or tell the players. I feel that they can be interesting to think about and in some cases challenges how someone may see things. But at the same time, Kodaka’s a bit of a two-faced shit because he goes back on a lot of these messages often or contradicts himself with these messages or what is more common with him is that there is no power behind his messages. His execution is weak and flimsy, and while I can understand where he’s trying to come from, his actual execution leaves someone like me unsatisfied and often times frustrated like I am right now. Well whatever, I can accept that maybe the writing is just not for me, and that the survivors are not for me, and that 85% of the series is probably just not for me. So I should move on right? Nope, it’s not that easy especially since it really did leave that much of an impact on me. Recently someone told me they think it’s sad that I love and hate this series so much, yet I can’t move on from it like I have other things. And I’m inclined to agree with them, it is kind of sad that I can’t let go of it. But I firmly believe it’s because I think this series did help me as a person, especially the 1st entry. And it’s that appreciation I have for the most part that keeps me going. I don’t know, I want to see this series succeed. I don’t hate it, it’s more so a strong feeling of frustration of having to deal with a writer who has changed so drastically as Kodaka. While NDRV3 was alright for me, after playing it, I feel like Kodaka needs to be the one that moves on from it and to leave it to a more capable and admittedly, firm writer. Kodaka’s biggest problem is that he had a solid message in the 1st game, which was to keep going forward, no matter what happens. And he again had a solid message in the 2nd game about how you don’t have to live life the way everyone sees you, you can reinvent or renew yourself. However in the jump to DR3, Kodaka went back on his word for the 1st game. Rather than move forward, he went back, bringing back the DR2 kids. And not just a few, but literally all of them, even Chiaki in a weird way got brought back by turning out to be a real person. On top of that, AE’s complete lack of onscreen deaths and complete pandering to what the fans want in the DR3 anime kinda sealed it that Kodaka had gotten completely soft. I’m not gonna lie, I bet if people were being just as vocal about the dead DR1 kids as they were about the SDR2 kids, Kodaka and Lerche would’ve brought them back to life. After all, Kodaka said he wanted them to be more involved in interviews, he wanted them because they ARE important to the story. But for the most part it feels like the fanbase not only don’t care about them, but also feel like they don’t matter at all. So Kodaka took that in mind and decided not to use them, despite the fact it was something he fucking wanted. And the fact the anime actually kind of portrayed them as unimportant no doubt made my own heart sink. Lastly is while the fanbase is so vocal, they do not like even the slightest bit of criticism, especially when it’s about SDR2 or DR1 survivors. I constantly see AE shat on, I constantly see dead DR1 kids shat on, but man point out the flaws or bad writing in DR2 or DR1 survivors and everyone is quick to defend it. That’s admittedly why I love NDRV3′s release so much, due to the message given at the end of the game and also Kodaka’s acceptance of everyone’s opinions on it. I love that Kodaka is basically saying everyone’s opinions on everything concerning NDRV3 are completely valid. If you think it’s shit? That’s fine. If you think it’s good? That’s fine too. Do you not give a shit either way? That’s fucking fine too. I wish the other two entries were handled that way, because then I wouldn’t feel like my opinion isn’t just gonna be seen as negative. I mean, as most know, I haven’t really made many (or any?) friends in this fanbase, despite me contributing to it as much as I can and being so passionate about the series. Currently I have no one to really talk to about this series much with, as everyone I’ve met have moved on and this leaves me conflicted as to where I wanna go with things. I don’t want to quit DR, but I have to face the facts that while I loved NDRV3, it did not leave as much of an impact as 1 did. And that as much as I love the 1st game, none of my favorites are ever going to come back or get anything special. Those characters stories are firmly done and at this point Kodaka saying ‘Well as long as you love them, they’re still never truly die’ isn’t helping since I do love them, yet DR3 made sure I don’t forget that they’re dead and no one gives a shit. So most likely, after I finish my current engagements(NDRV3 Anthology, SDR2 anthology, Chiaki manga, Genocider Mode), I’ll move on to just doing what I love about the series. This probably means I’ll only really push or work on DR1′s anthologies and 4-koma kings. And once those are done, I think I will properly quit and leave behind all my resources and raws to let anyone who wants to do the leftover DR2, DRAE and possibly NDRV3 stuff to the fanbase. Ultimately I know all anyone will shift to only giving a shit about NDRV3, but at least if I do that I will feel like I contributed, did what I wanted and that I legitimately tried my best to make everyone happy in the fanbase.