#it was rocky and stressful and she said things that she regretted because she was frustrated with cass's refusal to learn to read and speak

[elsolaer]

cass does not know what a good father figure is and thats unfortunate

[thedomesticanthropologist]

In one of my playthroughs, my Tav is having a TIME with Astarion, and it's a version of his romance I don't see represented online as much and I want to talk about it.

If you choose more lightweight dialogue options, if you don't dig into his mind at the bite scene, if you get his Araj confession instead of his impromptu one,

Then by the end of Act 2, you do *not* have a secure relationship AT ALL, he has never said he's in love, and everything feels REALLY rocky.

All through act 1 he lays on the seduction heavily, but in act 2 a bitch is MAD. He is stressed, he needs to figure out his scars, he feels hunted and un-safe and because of this, he starts to take it out on Tav a bit.

SPOILERS FOR ACT 2:

when Raphael shows up to talk to him, he snaps at Tav saying "don't get in my way". When you do his quest and kill the orthon, you have to PRY a thank you from him by literally telling him to parrot your words ('thank you for helping me, it was very... Kind') and he spits it out like he really, really wasnt intending to say anything in the form of gratitude.

When you talk about what to do about Cazador, my Paladin chose 'youll never be free while he lives' because it's true. If he runs, cazador will hunt him. If cazador lives, he will never stop looking over his shoulder. His reply 'i hate that you're right'

Even when you say you'll join him to hunt his master down, you can watch his facial expressions and see: he's not convinced. Of course he isn't. He's terrified. And is he grateful? Yes, but again, it's guarded.

I then went to moonrise and talked to Araj, and I defended his autonomy 100%.

When his Araj-confession happened, it was absolutely NOT a LOVE confession. It was more like:

"thank you. This made me realize I was still acting like a slave even in freedom, and you supporting me there made me feel like I can start to snap out of that kind set. Sooooo... I should tell you, since you did me a solid, that I was using you for protection and manipulating you up until now"

If you DONT choose the top options, the MOST he tells you about how he feels about you is a single line of dialogue

'imagine my surprise when I started to actually feel... SOMETHING... For you'

This could be friendship, crush feels, etc. It's VERY vague, and important things to note is while WE THE PLAYER know more about him and what he may feel at this point or what he's gone through, YOUR TAV DOESNT.

He does not apologize for using you. He states his regret that his plan failed because he started to value you as a person instead of a tool for him to be used. That admission is his gift back to you for defending him in front of Araj.

If you then choose 'what do YOU want' he approves, but says he doesn't know. And then he defends that 'isnt it nice not to know?' You still get soft faces, your hand held. He's trying to *silently* communicate what he can't bring himself to say, but he *DOESNT* SAY anything to affirm you two are a couple/in a relationship/etc. Just a vague 'lets not talk about it but see where it goes'

Honestly, based on this experience via dialogue choices for this character, it almost seemed to me like "sounds like you need a friend not a lover" makes the MOST SENSE. Of course this is my Astarion Romance run, so my Paladin instead said, basically, I'll wait for you until you're ready. (She chose the 'what do you want,' and let it lay there as is)

Afterwards you can ask about your relationship with him and again, he's flustered, he's hedging, he's defensive, and he brushes it off. He's not ready to talk, he's not ready to commit, he's fully focused on Cazador and his safety.

You enter this waiting period where Tav has been manipulated, spoken down to, snapped at, bitten, and responded to without gratitude, but is ALSO given just the faintest, BAREST glimpse at the vulnerability beneath the surface. The player is being asked at this point to REALLY trust and WAIT without ANY evidence that this relationship could become healthy, or could turn into love, or could because a real relationship. And that's SO NEAT

If you don't romance anyone else and aren't put into the position to choose him, you never get a confirmation of dating. If you get the Araj scene and don't choose hug, and don't force him to confirm he was attracted to you etc, you can literally end the talk on "thanks for defending me, also haha I was using you this whole time just so you know, thanks for being nice about it"

From a Tav point of view, this *could* be fairly devastating, and even if Tav decides to wait and keep supporting him, at this point, even post "confession" there is VERY little evidence that things are gonna get better between you.

We know it does. WE do. We get the access to other dialogue and choices or the other confession IF we chose that. But this, this scene, these dialogue choices REALLY emphasize his Act 3 confession

"you were patient. You waited, through blood lust etc /even when it was an objectively stupid thing to do etc"

Cause yeah. He's RIGHT. If you don't choose VERY specific dialogues to get more out of him, most of his romance up until the Act 3 confession,most of how he treats you, most of how he responds to your decisions in game (if you're playing fairly good and not evil/durge) gives Tav no reason beyond faith to continue to pursue him.

I think he knows this, and it's why he's surprised when you state you don't want him for sex. Because up until Act 3, he KNOWS how he's been treating Tav and even HE wouldn't have stood for it if the roles were reversed, so h thinks 'it must be because I'm good in bed'. Then he takes the sex away and you still stay? Even when he's chasing power, hunting for revenge, snapping at you, refusing to commit?

It's a powerful story line. It's so engaging. And it has room for SO MUCH ANGST

Anyways thanks for coming to my Ted Talk

[noxspost]

fuck this or Alternate title FUCK THIS SHIT

when they went to the portal that was caused by the teleportation stone they were in Los Angeles and they were driving among the busy streets which was kind of weird to see and she was preparing to deal with a 38 hour drive with a bunch of chaotic morons she did send a quick prayer to her mother hoping that she could defend them and protect them and watch over them when they were driving.

As they drive out of the cities and towns in small settlements they did Passover reservation as well but most of the time they did hit patches of forest plains and rocky terrain it all went by and in the songs That was playing was called and made by the band maneskin. 

well it had been five hours since they were driving on the road and it was pretty peaceful they were talking about many things and they had actually came close a couple times to having to fight monsters thankfully a good amount of salt in the eyes plus a gunshot kind of deterred them and did cause the siren to back off as it got shot in the wing by a bullet.

Reyna was listening to Ares talking about things and then she turned to Zagreus asked "so why do you have the boon symbols on you other arm as tattoos?"

he looks at her and sighed "well when i was younger my mother disappeared to mourn and since she was blind with grief powered wrath she left leaving dad basically work on two domains without rest she made him a burned out depressed father which really didn't help when I was around a teenage age like 13 that's what I really wanted to explore and considering we our house is like right in between the three levels of Tartarus and our basement is below the house he didn't want me getting hurt but he didn't translate that well but anyway I went on a mission to find her and that she was an Olympus but after attempt after attempt I actually did find her with the help of the other gods gave me their boons they did help me."

he sounded sad and serious with living so close to his grandfather kronos.

she spoke loud "I'm sorry about that." he shrugged "it's fine." he turns on the AC a little higher as Percy was laughing and Renya listened into the convo of Ares and Percy "Yeah Hypnos is actually seen as more of a parental figure for his other siblings because her his mother was very busy and neglectful towards him and she favored Thanatos a lot maybe indirectly but he was more of a parental figure to his younger siblings it's actually like the 3rd oldest next to Charon and Thanatos. anyway back to the discussion Percy what made this so funny is that in the Trojan War, he wanted to stop it.

so when Hera literally contacted him and said hey I need your assistance in order to stop my corrupt husband and we need to like stop this war so yeah he put him to sleep and then Zeus got mad and then attacked him and then that's why one of his four wings is just nothing but a bone sticking out of his back now and half of it's gone Hera," he spoke as if he was telling a story.

Renay was sad as Ares kept telling the story "was really regretful I think Hypnos was the only person to get Hera to actually laugh..." Percy looked at him thought for a moment said "are you jealous?" this makes Ares bust out into a quick bitter laugh "no I'm not Percy I made peace with the fact that my mother will never love me nor will my father I made peace with it and I know him the black sheep and I know Hypnos the black sheep pretty much everyone in the polycule is some form of black sheep."

Renya leans back as her mind was racing worrying for her best friend Jason. he was in danger and he wouldn't back down Even though it saved his life he would always fight to the end or until one of his friends pulled him off and held him back she left Frank and Hazel to handle the camp Rome camp Jupiter and New Rome while she was gone this was stressful for one they were going 38 hours across the states. 

there could be monsters waiting for the time to hunt them down.

then by some string of bad luck she had touched them had cursed them all they heard a growl and a hiss then hoof Zagreus immediately stopped the cart which caused her to lurch forward of it same with Percy and Ares who looked around and said what the heck Zagreus they'll look out the windows for Renya she looked out the window for Zagreus inside of the car and they saw it a monster.

it was a The sound of eight horses making growling sounds they all froze and turned to the left side where Zagreus was sitting and there were them 8 man eating mares they looked more terrifying their teeth no sharper than once they were depicted instead of making normal horse sounds like growled snarled and hissed like snakes and cats and dogs they were all black coated some of a dark red but their eyes always stay the same orange field hatred ones.

all eight of them stared at the Jeep with hatred in their eyes the leader as they presumed stomped its foot on the ground defiantly and then the Prince of the underworld spoke "Ares had me the two barreled shotgun in the back and if you can't reach that one get the Tommy gun I'm gonna need it." then Reyna asked "it shouldn't you be driving away from them?"

then Percy face facepalm and then Ares spoke "they are literally the 8 mares who eat humans, Reyna I don't think we're going to need to drive those things are faster than you think gods."

then he reach in the back for the Two barrel shotgun and handed it to the Prince of the underworld who quickly grabbed the specialized celestial ammo that was designed to kill monsters and other creatures he popped two bullets in there and aimed but before he did he spoke "Renya when I give you the signal I need you to start driving the car I'm going to hit the gas pedal but I need to drive ok why can't I handle the shotgun?"

she asked and he Responded with more urgency "because they're going to come at us on my side of the car and not yours so step on my so I'm going to when I shoot the gun and startle them I need you to make sure you drive the steering wheel while I put on the gas pedal Percy can you make sure we're in the right gear." Percy nodded sure have you done this before Zagreus?"

then he Responded "yes I have actually usually most of the time it ends up with Poseidon and Neptune duct taped on top of the jeep and Athena clutching her seat for their life but besides that we're fine."

"how many times did you crash this car?" spoke Renya with worry "too many times to count now are you going to listen or not we're not trying to die to these horses." they all continued to whisper and speak in very low tones as Zagreus looked back to the horses that were still on that hill they were on a very deserted street they were taking they were in the country area so not a lot of cars passed this way but if they did it wasn't that bad.

Then he cocked the gun and aimed it straight for the leader's chest and he said "May Hestia guide this bullet." and then he pulled the trigger and the loud too barreled shotgun firing the bullets rang out as if it was lightning on a crisp quiet surface loud and it hit the leader horse straight in the chest and it started to bleed red blood fell onto the ground as it screamed in pain.

the other horse is soon charged towards the Jeep and Zagreus yelled now as he quickly hands the two-barrel shotgun back to Ares as he steps on the gas Renya moves over to leans over in order to grab the steering wheel and drive the car.

as this was entirely happening this album a year without a summer 1816 And the song murder-murder was playing in the background as they were fighting these eight mares

Percy uncapped the pen in order to make his sword appear as Zagreus grabbed his smaller handgun and soon fired it at the horses now charging at them who were fast and strong thanks to the care of their former king before Hercules had killed him and fed him to his horses.

then Ares grabbed the throwing daggers that Reyna had and threw them at the horses which lodged in there before he before she summoned them back into the Jeep making more and more bleed wounds happen.

so as they were now driving correction Reyna was steering the car while Zagreus had his foot on the gas and in his hand was one of his guns that Hestia gave him it was his handgun black and powerful it also had infinite ammo and the ammo in question was designed to kill monsters and gods of he so wished as that was happening Ares put himself on top of the car holding on to the roof for dear life and as he did Renya handed him one of her recalled daggers and he threw that at them then Zagreus yelled "Ares I'm going to give you my spear."

As he swerved trying to keep themselves on the road as the horses threatened to ram into them and thanks to Percy who also stabbed some of the mares square in the sides as they came close to ramming into the jeep.

even with the jeep armored with spikes and armor plates it still could be able to be crashed easily and they didn't want to die on the side of the road trying to desperately save their three friends trapped in the Aztec underworld so then Aries had Zachary's spear and he threw it at one of the horses square in the neck before he pulled it back and it had the aspect of Hades on it.

Percy was laughing and Ares was smiling manically as they defeated the eight mares, and the horses were getting slower as they were bleeding but Ares was doing a recall for one of the daggers Percy gotten away and one of the jaws of the horses clamped down on his hand the same area where the palm meets the thumb he screamed "FUCK THIS SHIT!" with his other arm he summoned water from the Small Creek that they passed and soon he wrapped the horses entire face in water suffocating it. 

it lost its grip on him there were was serrated teeth marks on his hand where it had bitten him it was bleeding and it had broken skin this made everyone internally cuss as Zagreus stepped on the gas and they just outrun the rest of the horses they didn't stop driving and Zagreus didn't stop shooting the horses as they escaped which did slow down the horses but Reyna was still trying to drive by using the steering wheel as she was gleaning across the armrest in between both seats.

there was one horse that continued follow him and then Ares literally said alright i need your revolver here." Zagreus immediately reached onto his sheath which held that revolver handed it to Percy who ended it to Ares who was still on the top of the car and he fired it at the horse square in the noggin and brain matter with everywhere as it fell and tumbled down the road.

And then Zagreus continued to put us on a gas but thankfully he had control over the wheel again and Rena just sat back in her chair trying to catch her breath Percy was resting up against his seat trying to also catch his breath as he capped his sword back into append and Ares jumped back inside the car.

so all of them were tired out high on adrenaline as now they were going on a steady pace on the road they had just murdered three blood and fresh hungered horses who were trying to kill them and crash the car.

Percy was getting Minotaur flashbacks from when he first got into a camp of camp half blood. Reyna was canting from exerting so much energy so he reached for one of the water bottles that they had packed and had gotten from one of the other towns most of the time they were just driving around open fields and some abandoned buildings and farmhouses and cattle "that was a terrifying experience." she spoke.

this gets Aries to laugh breathless "oh my goddess of Nyx I've never been hunted down like that well i have... my mother got mad at me once for helping my siblings escape her wrath so she said this giant monster with so many eyes and so many heads and so many limbs to come kill me had to run for my life."

then he got a look from Percy and then he spoke "what..." he gets a smile "well Hera is a bitch."

--

Annabeth and Athena We're running through the countless scrolls of reports I have gotten from all different pantheons both their underworlds and their surface world deities.

Athena was swarmed as they were desperately trying to contact the Aztec underworld deities which was already a fruitless endeavor since there was a lockdown considering this unidentified creature that definitely had a human like appearance had stormed and caused the fortress and the underworld security to shut down to the point that they could not contact because they would have to go through the seven challenges just to get to the fortress to ask their questions and Athena didn't want her daughter Annabeth to go through another quest.

they then saw Zeus and then Jupiter walk in, and he looked so scared "well my son Jason is gone." spoke Jupiter and Zeus was still at the door Talking to his daughter who feels Jason's half-sister and he was desperately trying to restrain her from attacking Jupiter and Athena. 

"i am sorry father but the report we got from the house the lost sons said that the lockdown could be temporary, but we don't know how long that temporary is going to be, so we don't know what's happening and turns out Leo Nico and Jason were all sent down to the Aztec underworld and they're going to the 7 challenges."

this makes all of them freeze and Jupiter said, "wait didn't my son Mars and Zeus's kid Ares go through that a couple month back?"

"no. he they went through there when Percy Jackson was 14 and they did go through the seven challenges without, being scarred and wounded after that so going through the basement of Tartarus seven times and you up the ante every single time you passed through 1 challenge at a time."

Annabeth froze and then she spoke "i need to an iris message in order to contact Percy because he told me that he was gonna go down to Florida I wear the Aztec underworld is and storm it with Ares Reyna and Zagreus."

this makes super bust out laughing and you know looks back at her daughter "kid of mine my lovely daughter my favorite child. do you know if he's taking an armored Jeep by chance because if he is we might expect a couple kids to be duct tape to the ceiling of that roof of that jeep."

"what do you mean mom?" she asked and Athena sighs as Jupiter and Zeus walks out "well I know what vehicle he's taking and last time my noble cousin took that Jeep it led to Poseidon and Neptune being duct taped to the roof of the ceiling Zeus being tied to the back of the Jeep and being dragged and being unable to untie himself causing me to be clutching my seat for dear life him having half his upper body out the window and this half and his sister Mel and Ares in the back. As he is going 95 miles an hour down and empty road to camp half-blood."

Annabeth looks at her mother and then laughs Wow that is the most Florida man thing I have ever heard I'm still gonna contact Percy to check up on him." she goes to make that the call. "Yeah, you can do that."

==

Mictecacihuatl was pacing as she saw her husband Mictlantecuhtli and then she saw the rest of the Aztec underworld council all whispering and murmuring to each other there was even some Mayan deities here they are also panicked as well.

she and Mictlantecuhtli were the rulers since the other gods were In need of a rule in order to manage the souls from both Maya and Aztecs they kept flooding in after the foreigners came and ruined everything so they thought that they were two good choices. 

"well, where is Xolotl?" asked Xocotl who was sitting next to the Mayan god Acolmiztli who was siting next to Techlotl who was half owl which was a elf owl. they all look to the king who sighs "Thanks to my wife's efforts three demigod people are coming over and he's guiding them here just stand the Fortress till they get here."

well then a I started moving in and they had the optic nerve still attached to them and then soon a lower jaw full of teeth arrived and then slowly as they waited human person arrived it was Remus the kid of Mars who died due to their brother being an absolute weirdo he was half wolf considering his affiliation with them and he could shape shift between human and wolf most the time he was like a satyr instead of a goat and a human it was a wolf and a human.

Remus always looked like and was a 28-year man. who had brown hair with streaks of gray hair his eyes were wild, and his grin even wilder he had a gold tooth on one of his canine teeth he also had a couple tattoos specifically one on his shoulder that was of one of an octopus.

he was wearing a tank top which was cropped around mid-torso and short which around mid-thighs, and he had fish nets on his legs that was in the middle of his legs and around the knees going to area. he was wearing a belt around his waist, and it also had a bunch of pouches on it and also two sheaths for two daggers.

he had wolf features similar their lower half often have goat features.

his wolf tail was grey, he had wolf ears on his human ears. he had some fur on his shoulders and neck, he had some scars on his nose and jaw. he also had a couple rings on his finger and a choker which had a silver squid. 

"hello everyone Alright it got a little bit more longer than i thought so I found out what's the problem what's causing the lockdown it is two Titans and about three demigod people that are still followers of Kronos it has been so long since the Kronos war situation and they're still going strong but they're not exactly in the Aztec underworld yet they are still stuck the in between areas of the tunnels leading from the Roman underworld to this underworld we are still fine but still keep it on lockdown." he looked sad and scared.

this causes an uproar of whispers murmurs mutters and growls, and all of their glares were focused on him he raised up his hands in defense and says, "don't blame me don't not shoot the Messenger it took me forever just to get past those people sorry." Mictlantecuhtli and Mictecacihuatl nodded, and she was sitting on her throne, and she spoke "well it is alright Remus."

Mictecacihuatl had a body a skeleton incased in skin of inky black that allowed the bones to seen. she had the Regal aura of Queen that you would expect but her husband did a very powerful dominating or around him even though he was relatively chill he was a very particular on how it's underworld and the souls inside of it was run.

she was wearing cloth which was in two parts one was the coat which was a cloak and shawl. on the top where the neck and head hole was blue, white skulls and she had a skull face, but it stopped around her top lip and there was white swirls and stripe on her jaw and chin. Jason was looking at her with the sun high in the sky which allowed them to see her better.

Her ears had dish which hung off of her ears and there was leave or feather shape hanging off the blueish grey dish there was a messy red dot in the middle of the disks. on her skirts was fringe same with the edges of shawl. The colors of the outfit were green, purple, blue and greyish.

The dress was close fitting but still hung on her form. Her hair was dark brown and down up with strips of blue fabric and on her head was crown with grey silver stones and small rat skulls. The crown was holding the first bubble in her hair and that had feathers on the back in the colors of purple, grey blue and blue.

Her eyes were warm burning amber, on the eyelids was an orange color and there something fluffy on the where the eyebrows would be. she just looked at her husband who finally stopped Pacing around like a warrior war and sat in town finally letting his worried nerves and muscles finally rest and he said Remus "go find some people to stop those people trying to break through." 

Remus nodded and then pulled his weird Cheshire cat disappearing act.

[lilyellowsongbird]

Song of The Day - Jan 22nd '23

Call Me In The Afternoon - Half Moon Run

Our first contemporary song! Well, at least it was made during the 21st century.

The summer after I graduated high school, I took a month long trip across the Great American West with my childhood best friend Rachel. I paid for it all myself. I worked three jobs my senior year, practically ruining my mental and physical health in the process, but it was worth it. Just before we left, I hung out my friend Gigi and watched her race against her friend Ethan to explode a watermelon with rubber bands. Ethan was hot, but my mind was on my trip. The first day of the trip, I was absolutely terrified. A whole month on the road? By myself? On the other side of the country? Once we reached our first major stop, Rocky Mountain National Park, all of those fears disappeared. It was all worth it, the work, the fear, just to see those mountains. I could think about something other than getting across Kansas and pitching tents in random KOAs for the first time in three days. That's when I remembered that Ethan existed. I thought, "fuck it" and asked Gigi for his snap. Suddenly we were talking and I was crushing hard. In an effort to appear more attractive to him, I started listening to music he liked, which is how I ended up listening to one of the Stomp and Holler playlists on Spotify, which is where I found Call Me In The Afternoon by Half Moon Run. I loved this song, I listened to both versions on Spotify multiple times every day while driving across the states with my best friend. It reminded me of Ethan with his beard and beautiful laugh.

While I found this song on a Stomp and Holler playlist, I wouldn't exactly put it in the same category as the other songs on that playlist. Yes, it has this certain, granola, run-away-and-never-look-back quality to it, it's more electric. Not enough mandolin to be considered Stomp and Holler. What sticks out most to me is Devon Portielje's voice and the piano during the chorus. Portiejle's voice is clear and vivid, with that slight raspy stress in certain moments that I adore so much. When he sings "Take one if you need it but you really shouldn't get this fucked up" you feel the desperation in his voice as he reaches out to the subject of the song. The piano during the chorus is distinct, backing Portielje's anguished voice with loud, pronounced chords. Maybe it's the pianist in me that I pick out the piano in songs, but the piano is really what makes the backing effective.

Things didn't work out with Ethan, we don't even talk anymore, but that never soiled this song for me. I put myself out there for once, both on that road trip and in asking him out to coffee (he said no. he didn't have time for a relationship). I found out later that Rachel absolutely hates this song because I played it so much. She said "There are only three songs hate with a passion. Call Me In the Afternoon, Call Me In The Afternoon Spotify Live version, and Janglin. All because that's all you listened to on that roadtrip." I swear she questioned being friends at me at all when I told her I only listened to it because of a man. As I sit here writing this and listening to the song, I can't help but remember driving through Idaho on my way to Oregon, listening to this song, and letting the piano take me across the plains to our next stop. I try to live without regrets, and I sure as hell will never regret that trip or listening to this song.

Listen to the song here:

[lovexjoe]

Safe Guard Part 3

Part 1 Part 2

HE HAS A FUCKING GIRLFRIEND ?!

Unbelievable. Y/N knew how to hide her emotions, but her eyes told it all. She shot death glares at Jack. Her own best friend did this. He treated her as if she was just another side chick like every other bitch she had heard about through Urban. She watches as he wraps his arm around the brunette, his eyes looking up at her and she could see how sorry he was. But that shit was not gonna cut it.

“Where’s the birthday girl?” The brunette makes her way over to Y/N with a bottle of champagne and a welcoming smile.

“Hi! I’m Destiny, I’m glad to finally meet you. Happy birthday gorgeous.” She pulls Y/N into a hug without a second thought. Y/N internally screaming because she wanted to shove this bitch off of her, but she knew it wasn’t her fault at all. It was Jack fucking Harlow’s fault. She returns Destiny’s gesture and popped the bottle. They both took a sip and passed it around.

“Thank you so much for coming. I hope it wasn’t a hassle getting over here. I heard the flight was delayed.” Y/N tries to make small talk as she peeps Jack downing 3 shots in the kitchen with Urban chuckling. Urban told him he would get caught up one day and today is that day.

“No no it was worth all of it- oh my god what a beautiful necklace. That’s the same one I asked Jack to get me literally three days ago” Destiny gazes in awe.

Great. Now he gave me a gift that was SUPPOSE TO BE FOR HER.

“Surprise! It’s not for me. Jack wanted me to try it on to make sure it would fit right.” Y/N was quick with a response not wanting to keep the necklace at all. She removed it and placed it around Destiny’s neck. She smiles and runs over to Jack to give him a kiss.

“You are the best boyfriend ever!” Jack plays it off well. Too fucking well. That’s what liars do. Druski gets to DJing and everyone was back on the dance floor. Y/N sneaked her way upstairs to the guest room. Jack wanted the main group to stay the night and she was instantly regretting the decision. As soon as she closes the door, the tears trickle down her cheeks. How could he? He made her feel so special and just ruined it. She was over the party. Her makeup started to smudge as her mascara didn’t survive her tears. Y/N washes off her makeup and changed into some PJs. There was a soft knock on the door before the devil himself enters the room.

“Baby-“

“Baby? Boy shut the fuck up. I don’t even want to hear the lies that are gonna come out of your mouth.”She cuts him off letting him know that she’s not taking any lies or bullshit. Y/N puts her foot down even though she wanted to finish what they started earlier. That’s been clouding her mind all night since it happened.

“I fucked up and I’m sorry. Destiny told me she wasn’t going to come and I told her I wanted to break up. Things have been rocky between us for a while but she keeps coming back. That’s why she hopped on the first flight over here when I said I was done.” Jack aired everything out. He knew he was still wrong but he wanted his side to be heard at least. She had to know he genuinely did not mean for this to happen. Everything that went down in his bedroom was real and meant everything to him.

“Then why buy me a necklace that she wanted .” Y/N crossed her arms and Jack was mentally making a note on how beautiful she looks without all the glitz and glam.

“She always wants me to buy her shit. She didn’t deserve it and why would you even give it to her-“

“Cause you’re a liar!” She throws her hand up absolutely exhausted over the situation.

“Our initials are engraved on the back of the necklace! It was only meant for you!”

Fuck!

Y/N didnt even know what to say. If Destiny notices she's going to flip and make her look like a homewrecker. Why does this man have to make things so complicated? A smile forms on Jack's face as he admires her in deep thought. He knew there was nothing for her to even stress about cause it's his problem. Somehow she still manages to take the stress of the world on her shoulders. She peeps that he's smiling and grabs the nearest pillow to hit him with it.

"My love, violence is never the answer!" Jack starts to mess with her. He was trying to make light of the situation. She wanted to be upset more than anything, but she lets her guard down. She knew he was sorry and Urban had already informed her about Destiny. She was a sweet girl, but she had a plan to use Jack to get to fame and money. Y/N places the pillow down and walks over to Jack. She backs him up against the door and locks it to make sure no one disturbs them again.

“I want to finish what we started earlier. I’m not taking no for an answer” He liked this side of her. He was already turned on from the moment she turned the lock.

Fuck she’s beautiful.

She trusted him even after the fuckery that went down. He picked her up, allowing her to wrap her legs around his waist and their lips connected. It passionate with a tint of anger. His eager lips reach her neck causing her moans to escape.

God she’s so sexy

As he lays her down, his hands hooked around her bottoms and he tossed them to the side. He didn’t want to rush but he also didn’t want them to get interrupted once again. Fuck everyone else right now. Her pussy was exposed, his lips kiss along each side of her inner thigh and she starts to move her hips.

“Slow mama, I want you to enjoy this.” He holds her in place. Relishing at her hairless pussy besides the cute landing strip on top. His tongue brushes her clit, teasing slowly, then fully pulling and sucking it. His two fingers slip inside her as his tongue works her clit. Y/N eyes rolls back and she’s trying so hard not to be loud. This was different from the first time, it was more intense and her body didn’t know how to keep its composure.

“Cum for me baby.” He continues to finger her, picking up the pace as he kisses her. He wants to see her cum, watch her pretty faces and her eyes roll back. She trusted him entirely. No one else saw her in this light. That was enough to get him off.

“F-fuck Jack! I’m-Im cumming!” She cries out, gripping onto the sheets. His dick was hard and it was aching in his pants. Y/N slowly came down from the high and her vision clears up. There was a glow to her.

“How do you feel?” He plays with her hair, looking down at her freshly finger fucked.

“I want…..more” She slips her hand into his pants and felt how big he was. She’s watched porn before so she knew a little bit on how to maneuver. He assists her in taking his pants and boxers off. His dick sprung free hitting his belly button.

How the fuck is that suppose to fit inside me?

“Hey I’ll go slow…” his left hand brushes against her cheek as his right hand guides hers to stroke him. She goes slow moving her hand up and down. She looks up at him as his breath hitches, his blue eyes keeping contact with hers and it made her clit twitched. She places her lips to his tip, her tongue swirling the precum around and taking him inside her mouth. He was amazed, it was just the way he loved it. Gentle and massaged. His moans did something to her, it fueled her to keep going. Seeing his curls slightly wet with sweat as they stick to his forehead. His lips red from him biting his lip.

“You’re gonna make me cum if you don’t stop” Y/N stops and lays down next to him. He gets on top of positioning them into missionary, giving her kisses to ease her mind. He brushes his tip against her clit. The room was silent, all that could be heard between them was their uneven breathing and moans. They both couldn’t believe this. This night is gonna change everything. He wasn’t gonna let her out of his sight. She’s his as he is hers. He was about to ruin the one thing no one else can have; her innocence. He positions himself and slowly slips inside her.

“Ahh!” She felt a pinch of pain, Jack kisses her neck and sucks her sweet spot to help. He stays still for a minute, but then continues after she nods her head go on. His thrusts were slow and gentle. She looks up at him, wrapping her hands around his neck and she couldn’t help but moan as he hits a certain spot.

“Jack….fuck right there” he groans as he watches himself thrust all the way out and right back in. Her pussy was drenching his cock with her wetness. He knew she was already close, he pulls her legs over his shoulders so he can penetrate her deeper.

“Cum princess” she covers her mouth to hide a moan, but Jack pins both of her hands down. His pace become deeper and harder. Her moans filled the room, with his balls slapping against her pussy. He felt her walls tighten up and released around him. He pulls out and cums on her stomach. She watches as he jerked his cock and released onto her. He grabs a towel to clean her up.

“How was it? I wasn’t too rough, was I?” He tosses the towel in her hamper and pulls her in for a hug.

“No it was perfect. Thank you” she places a soft kiss on his cheek and snuggled her head in his chest. A few minutes go by, Jack tucks her into bed, he pulls his pants and snuck his way back to the room. That’s all Y/N could remember of the night as she doses off.

The next morning

Y/N made her way downstairs as it was officially her day. She was wearing a black romper that fitted her curves perfectly. Her hair was down in soft curls. The kitchen was smelling of Cinnabons and multiple plates of breakfast food. Druski, Urban and Jack were cooking it up for her.

Jack…

Her mind rushes back to last night and she smiles to herself. He looks so good in his apron. Is this what happens when you lose your virginity? All you can think about is sex? She wanted him right now. He could take her upstairs and fuck her however he like-

“Happy Birthday!!!!” They all cheered, instantly snapping her out of her thought. Jack peeps and shoots her a wink. Destiny makes her into the kitchen looking nervous and happy? How is that even possible?

“Happy birthday Y/N! I have some news to announce if that’s alright.” Destiny looks to the birthday girl for approval. Y/N nods letting her knows it’s okay as she was curious to what the fuck could be going on. She pulls out a stick from behind her back.

“I’m pregnant!” She beams and Jack’s face turned pale.

WHAT?!

[teenyweenynightghost]

@superchrystaldrug

“Enjoying the view, beautiful?” X Damiano

Dream View

Y/n looked out the balcony and took in her surroundings. Right in front of their house was a long alley leading to a meadow, hidden deep in the woods. There were trees, plants and flowers everywhere and y/n thought she could never be more in love with a place.

What made it truly special is that it was hers. Hers and Damiano’s.

Their relationship had been long and rocky. To say the least.

With Damiano being an international rockstar and Y/n an achieved medic, work and stress brought them apart more often than they would have liked.

Oh how many nights could y/n think of in which she would cry herself to sleep, praying she hadn’t lost Damiano forever.

All her prayers must have been answered, because just today they had moved into their new house.

It was a large villa in the countryside. They both loved every single thing about it, especially the privacy and intimacy it offered them.

One month ago, when they had come to visit the house for the first time, both of them pointed out how large it was. Because of that single thought on their head, they brushed past it.

Once they went upstairs, the agent mentioned that there were plenty rooms for more than two people, a soft smile on his face. Damiano immediately dragged Y/n to a spare room and hugged her from behind, resting his hands on her stomach.

“Love, I think I want to spend the rest of our lives here.”

They were both grinning like love-struck teenagers when they exited the room, exploring the house once more, with a new-found interest.

The way y/n was currently prompted against the fence made it easy for Damiano to embrace her just as he did one month ago.

“Enjoying the view, beautiful?”

She hummed, her eyes lighting up at his presence.

“What are you thinking about?” He whispered in her ear, leaving countless kisses on her neck.

“You..” she purred, pleased at the contact. Damiano chuckled a little and turned her around, pushing her against the fence.

“Aren’t you always.” He said smiling, brushing a few strands of hair from her face.

“Im bored.” Y/n sighed, looking around the balcony.

A devilish grin appeared on Damiano’s face as he led her back inside.

“You know what we haven’t done yet?”

Y/n raised a quizzical eyebrow and hummed.

“Ikea. Furniture. Chaos. Let’s go babe!” He turned around, still holding her hand so she would follow him, a hand raised in the air as he gestured widely.

“Oh gods have mercy.” Y/n giggled, before she grabbed her purse and a water bottle.

***

“FOR FUCK’S SAKE Damiano! WE are NOT getting a NEON PINK glow in the dark couch!” She exaggerated each of her words, making sure all of them reached her incredibly stubborn boyfriend.

“Fuck yeah we are.” He said calmly, checking the price tag.

“I swear to fucking god, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WITH IT?”

“FUCK ON IT!” He screamed out so loudly, the whole store heard.

Y/n closed her eyes tightly and pursed her lips, hoping the ground would open and swallow her whole.

“Please tell me I had a hallucination and you did not scream that out.” She whispered, embarrassment creeping up her cheeks.

“You told me that honesty is key. Are you saying you were wrong?” He asked loud enough for the people around to hear, a shit-eating grin on his face.

“No fucking kisses for you, motherfucker.” She deadpanned, while brushing past a pouty, devastated, mess of a man.

***

“Y/n look!” He whispered excitedly in her ear, pointing to the baby section.

“I can see that, darling.” She answered softly, already grinning like a fool.

They made their way towards a small cradle, which was decorated with white stars and dark blue sheets.

“This one is so beautiful.” Damiano breathed out, brushing a finger along the wooden structure.

“It actually is!” Y/n responded, surprises at the creative decorations.

“Until now I think I’ve only seen clouds and princesses or bows. But not galaxies.” He commented, his gaze now fixated on the lamp above.

“So were you serious about wanting a baby?” Y/n asked reluctantly, afraid to hear his response.

“Are you kidding me? Did we really buy a fucking mansion for two people and two cats?” He faked an emotionless expression, but Y/n could tell he was amused.

“Okay, okay, I just wanted to make sure.” She blushed at the whole conversation and continued to look at the furniture.

“What would you want to call the baby?” He peeped in, magically appearing next to her.

Y/n hummed and thought of an answer, before speaking again.

“Well, If it’s a girl, I really like Calliope, we could call her Alia, and if it’s a boy, I’m kinda obsessed with Sebastian or Matteo.”

“Ew.”

Y/n frowned, confused, and turned to him.

“What?”

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. “I have two names being repeated in my music and you don’t even bring them up. Rude.”

Y/n snorted and gave him a quick kiss.

“Oh, you baby. Of course I like Marlena and Coraline but I don’t want our child to be named after someone who keeps leaving or someone who always cries and has anxiety.” She joked, earning a dazzling laugh from Damiano.

“Fair enough. I really did like Alia though!” He commented, picking up a pair of baby shoes.

“Y/N!!!” He exclaimed, holding the little shoes in his large hands, while jumping up and down.

“THESE BARELY FIT ON MY FINGERS!!” His eyes were full of adoration and longing as he looked at them, a million possibilities speeding around through his mind.

“Can you imagine? Having a little munchkin who looks just like us and is this small?” Y/n giggled, holding one of the shoes delicately.

“Honey I think we should have children with separate people.”

Y/n was shocked at his words and pulled away instantly, insulted at his words as regret flashed over his face.

“WHAT?!” She all but screamed, already feeing a dreadful sensation in her stomach.

“Chill. I meant that we are both so hot out future child will probably anger Venus herself with their looks.” He replied wide eyed, mimicking his version of a goddess.

Y/n bursted out laughing as Damiano joined her, the couple becoming the centre of attention once more.

“We should really be more quiet.” Y/n whispered through giggles, as she pulled Damiano behind a wall.

He nodded and kissed her gently, before pulling away and continuing to look at clothing.

The couple spent hours at the shop, proud with their purchases, and returned home on the dark streets.

They were both seated on a swinging chair, y/n in Damiano’s lap, overlooking the woods.

“We’re gonna make great parents some day.” Damiano whispered, breaking the silence, as his hand wandered over her stomach.

Y/n had never felt happier, her heart filled with love and certainty, as she nodded and nuzzled further into Damiano.

Author’s note: I have baby fever part two (?) or maybe three. Anyway. I think it’s cute👏🥺😩

Taglist: @fuckim-so-gay @ginny-lily @messyhairday-me @cheese-toastie-11 @wannabemarlenabutiscoraline @simp-per-ethan @maneskinrollercoaster @juststalking @superchrystaldrug @immrbrightsideeee @shehaddreamstoo

[disgruntledspacedad]

Javier Peña and commitment

a better love series  character analysis

Okay, not-so-briefly, let me finish what I started with this post, and say a few more words about Javier Peña and commitment. 

I think typical fanon describes Javi as a rogue, smoky, commitment-phobe man slut. The kind of guy who never settles down because he’s too busy having fun with his hookers. And yeah, at first glance, that’s a valid assumption. Javi definitely puts off that vibe. Hell, I think he even believes that of himself. 

I call bullshit, though. 

Javi is obviously an affection starved softie who is seeking intimacy and human contact. He just doesn’t know how to get it. Watch how deeply he connects with each of the women he sleeps with. He publicly greets the hookers in Medellín by name (like seriously what man does this??) and his relationship with Gabby seems intensely personal. He cares about what happens to her. He’s sweet, almost tender with her. 

This is a man with a huge heart and deep, unfulfilled needs.

Now, let me tease apart what I think happened that scarred Javi so profoundly.

I want to start with his family life. 

Now, a lot of this falls deep into headcanon territory, but this entire post is in context of Better Love, so that’s fine. However, I don’t think it’s too far off the mark for canon Javi, too. Just things to bear in mind.

Okay, so in The Kingpin Strategy, Chucho makes references to the fact that Javi has always been free spirited and idealistic. “You couldn’t wait to get out of here.”

Javi says, “It was right here, wasn’t it? The last time we had this conversation.” He sounds resentful, frustrated.

And Chucho replies, “You didn’t listen to me then, either.”

Man oh man, this says a lot. There’s a lot of reference to some very old bitterness, most (but not all of it) on Javi’s end. Let’s break it down.

In Better Love, Javi lost his mom to colon cancer when he was nineteen. We know from canon that he was chomping at the bits to get out of town, so I kind of think that Javi packed his bags the day that he turned eighteen and left. He’s from a small, close knit family, and him taking off into the blue without any warning would have shocked them. It would have hurt. 

The fact that he and Chuco have their conversation in the driveway is telling, too. 

I think Javi spent some significant time estranged from his family, and things were probably still rocky between them when his mom passed away. Colon cancer can be pretty subtle. Javi’s mom didn’t get a diagnosis until it was far too late for effective treatment. It would have hit her hard and fast, and she and Javi may not have had much time to reconcile. Hell, she was upset by Javi leaving - she may not have even told him what was going on.

Ouch.

Now, Javi is a guy that silently shoulders all of the responsibility that he’s not meant to carry, and he’s absolutely going to blame himself for taking off like that, and for being too stubborn to call home and check on Mom. Her death is the first in a series of wounds that lead to Javi’s (very misguided) belief that he’s a shit human, when truly, nothing could be further from the truth. 

Next, let’s talk about Lorraine. 

We know from Javi’s conversation with Steve that he thinks Lorraine was better off without him, giving us another glimpse of that deep seated self-loathing that we know he carries. Javi almost sounds wistful, like he regrets leaving her. Certainly, he regrets hurting her (more proof that Javi is actually a pretty sensitive guy - he knows he fucked up). But then we actually meet Lorraine in season three, and there’s something really weird there. 

Now, granted, Javi left her at the alter. Things are bound to be weird. But look at how he’s drawn to her, like he just can’t help crossing the room to see her again, even years later. That was the first big red flag for me. 

Then, watch how Lorraine treats him. She’s dismissive, pretty biting. And okay, yeah, she’s well within her right to be bitter. But then she says this:

“Can you imagine if we actually were married?”

Like, scoffs it. Guys, that’s a pretty serious dig. Lorraine is implying that Javi is beneath her, that he could never, ever be decent husband material. And watch his reaction. He takes this cut like he’s used to taking this cut from her. I don't know, but to me, it just reeks of a history of toxicity.

Men are absolutely capable of being the victims of toxic relationships and emotional abuse. I mean, duh. But try telling that to Javier Peña, with his tendency to internalize and self destruct. 

It would make a lot of sense to me that their relationship was built on this type of fucked up interaction, with Lorraine constantly pushing Javi to be this perfect dude with a white picket fence, and constantly calling him on his “failure” to do so. Maybe some of it was rooted in racism and classism - Lorraine seems like she could be that petty, materialistic type. Maybe Javi just wasn’t ready to settle down. 

Remember, too, that Javi’s love language is acts of service. He’s not a super romantic guy in the traditional sense, but he wants to do things for the person he loves, practical, tangible things to keep them safe and happy. If Javi thought that he could do better by Lorraine by putting a ring on her finger, it might be pretty easy to persuade him that he “ought” to do that, especially if there’s a continued history of verbal abuse. Remember that we tend to believe the things our abusers say about us, and that most of the time, this stuff starts subtle. If Lorraine is constantly suggesting that Javi’s not good enough for her, eventually, he’s going to fucking believe it. 

And consider the fallout of skipping town on your wedding day. No matter if the relationship is healthy or not, men tend to get the short end of the stick when it comes to breakup sympathy, and to leave a pretty woman like Lorraine waiting at the alter? My god, people would have been vicious to Javi. 

He probably believed all of the shitty things they said about him.

Javi threw himself into his career, and between a dangerous, high stress job with the DEA and never addressing these old hurts (Javi just doesn’t do that, you know), what you wind up with is a deeply wounded, “self sufficient” (read: emotionally constipated) man with raging self esteem issues and an intense fear of emotional intimacy. Now, all of this shit might have scarred Javi, but it doesn’t change his nature. Javi has a huge heart, he’s fiercely idealistic, and he desperately wants to do the right thing. And we all need love and human connection. 

Javi just denies this emphatically. 

But the ugly truth is, Javi avoids long term relationships because he thinks he doesn’t deserve them. It’s not even about being hurt again, not anymore. He almost sees it as an ethical thing, dammit. Give this boy a hug. 

This is why it took a fucking bomb to get him off his ass and admit his feelings for Ears. Javi would never, ever have done that without something very radical catching his attention. He would have let Ears walk straight out of his life, and yeah, it would have torn him to pieces, and he’d have always regretted it and wondered ‘what if,’ but that fear is an old, deeply rooted thing. That’s why I have Ears sort of pick up on the gravity of Javi saying, “I’m all in,” to her at the end of The Rules of Engagement. She’s not eloquent, but she’s pretty intuitive, and she knows that a commitment is something that Javier Peña does not take lightly.

And let me just say this about commitment: Javier Peña is a man who honors his fucking commitments. Watch what he’s willing to do for his informants - he always, always puts their wellbeing first, even before his own, even before the integrity of the hunt for the cartels. 

And Javier Peña is beyond devoted to bringing down the cartels. Like, that’s his entire arc in the show, right?

He’s committed to justice, too. Like fiercely, will do fucking anything to make things right, to make them fair. He wants to do the right thing so much it burns.

So, I don’t think it’s fair at all to say that Javier Peña is a man who fears commitment. He fears intimacy, while at the same time, he craves it. He fears human connection, when really, that’s the thing he needs most. 

But he doesn’t fuck around once he decides something. 

Which is the really, really fun thing about Better Love. For the first time, we get to see Javier Peña, the idealist who wears his poorly disguised heart blatantly on his sleeve, the man who goes for broke trying to get things done, the man who’s passions literally destroy him, in an intensely emotional relationship with another human. One who is just as devoted to him in return. 

So, anyway, if you’re still reading this, wow. I just wanted to babble about how Javier Peña is far more than brooding testosterone. Actually, he’s a very soft boy who needs patience and a lot of healing, and somebody who is willing to meet him exactly where he is and love him because of it.

And I want to give him that. 

[superbadassnatural]

Not Friends

Summary: It’s time for a wedding! Sam and Jess are getting married and Dean needs someone to pretend to be his girlfriend in front of his family. Good thing his friend Y/N is willing to help. Pairing: Dean x Reader // Sam x Jess Word count: 8,846 Warnings: fluff, fake dating, nudity (but it’s barely there), waxing A/N: this was writen for “SPN Bi-Weekly Writing Challenge” hosted by the darling @supernatural-jackles. There are 7 prompts in this one and they’re all in bold. Hope y’all enjoy!

“I still don’t get why you asked me to do this. I’m not a professional,” you mumbled. “Since it’s the first time you’re doing this, you  really should’ve gone to a professional.”

“I know, I know,” Jess sighed, taking another gulp of the wine. “I lost track of time and forgot to set an appointment. It’s just that Sam is planning something special for this weekend. I wanted to look nice.”

“You’ve been together for nearly five years, Jess. The guy asked you to marry him. And knowing him, he doesn’t mind if you wax or trim or do nothing down there.”

“I know he doesn’t. But I’m not just doing this for him. I’m doing this for me,” she said. “Does it hurt?”

“A little,” you shrugged. “Alright, now lay down.”

Jess did as told, placing her glass on the nightstand. She was naked from the waist down, a white towel covered her lady bits. You could see it on her face that she was nervous. It would be better if she was a little drunk for you to do this.

“Move the towel so we can get going,” you asked, holding a popsicle with a large blob of yellow wax.

She gritted her teeth and her breath was caught in her throat when you spread the burning wax over the top of her mound. Jess clenched her eyes shut.

“We shouldn’t do this. I’m already regretting it.”

“You’ll be fine, Jess. Trust me.”

Jess took in a deep breath, relaxing a little.

“Before I do this, I need you to know that I have always loved you,” you said before pulling the strip off.

“Fuck!” She nearly screamed, sitting up straight.

“Here,” you offered her the bottle of wine. “See? It wasn’t that bad.”

“It wasn’t that bad?” Her blue eyes widened. “It was worse than I expected.”

“You know that we’re not finished, right?”

“I know,” she cried, taking another gulp of the whine and finishing the bottle.

Jess laid back and you repeated the process. She winced once again.

“And to think I was gonna ask you to be my maid of honor.”

“You were what?” You exclaimed.

“Well, I was gonna ask you properly next week and it was gonna be beautiful, but I guess I ruined everything.”

“I can’t believe you chose me to be your maid of honor,” you couldn’t stop the big smile to spread over your lips, happy tears welled in your eyes.

“Really?” She smiled. “I thought it was kinda obvious.”

“Of course not! I was sure you were gonna ask one of your sisters.”

“Y/N, we both know that none of them would be able to help organize a wedding.”

“I’m truly honored, Jess,” you hugged her. “God, you’re gonna have the wedding of your dreams.”

“I love you, Y/N/N.”

“I love you too.”

Three years ago, Sam proposed to Jess. You still remember the day when she came running to your place to tell you everything and show the beautiful diamond ring on her finger. She was truly happy. Her blue eyes held a glisten you had never seen before. You were happy for her.

Jess wanted a big wedding. She had enough money to throw a magnificent ceremony. Sam was a bit worried about how they would afford it so they decided to wait to get married. They worked out on a budget and started saving money. Both of them had established jobs; Sam as a lawyer and Jess as a prosecutor. They saved enough money to have their dream wedding. Twice.

You helped Jess organize everything. You hired one of the best wedding planners in the U.S. and they were perfect. Jess was on cloud nine. She still had some stress, but in the end, she reminded herself that everything would be okay. She was nervous people wouldn’t come because it was a destination wedding. Sam and Jess picked Maui, Hawaii for their ceremony. More specifically, Makena Cove Beach. So she saved extra money to pay for the guests’ staying at a resort. It was a damn expensive wedding.

Jess was born into a wealthy family. They never had to worry about money. Good thing they weren’t snobs. Her parents insisted on paying for hers and the bridesmaids’ dresses. They paid yours too. They even wanted to pay for Sam’s tuxedo, but John and Mary wouldn’t have it. Her parents wanted to help. Their oldest daughter was getting married and they wanted to give her everything. It was nice of them. Jess and Sam were glad for their willingness to help, but they also wanted to be more independent and bear the expenses.

Sam wasn’t born into a rich family, but the Winchesters weren’t poor either. John owned a law firm in Lawrence and Mary owned a bakery. They couldn’t assist as much as Jess’ parents, but they managed to help out anyway.

October 24th was getting closer and closer. You were so excited about their wedding day. Seeing them so radiant was priceless. They deserved all the happiness in the world. With less than one week left for the ceremony, you had to do the last touch-ups for the reception. That includes finishing your speech.

You had never thought you’d enjoy organizing a wedding this much. Thanks to you and the bridesmaid team, Jess had an epic bachelorette party. And poor Sam had to deal with the bachelor party Dean threw for him. It was a nice party, of course, but Sam wasn’t the kind of guy that enjoyed being around strippers. The bridal shower was fun too and she got lots of nice gifts.

Dean, the best man and your best friend, was doing everything he could to support his brother. He even went out with Sam to buy his tuxedo.

“Hey Claire,” you grinned walking into the car shop.

“Hi Y/N,” she smiled. “Dean said you were coming. He’s in the back.”

“Thanks, darling.”

Winchester’s Auto Shop. Dean was passionate about cars since he was a little kid. He became a mechanic and after years of hard work, he opened his own shop. You were proud of him. Seeing him conquer so much in his life only made you love your best friend even more.

“Hey you,” grinning, you spotted Dean underneath his car.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he said, struggling with whatever he was doing to the muscle car.

“Why are you working on Baby?” You nudged his feet.

“Had to replace the pipe,” he said before standing up to meet you. His grey shirt and denim jeans covered in grease. “And done.”

Your fingers trailed over the shining hood. Dean circled the car and started the engine. The impala roared to life, a purr following.

“There you go, Baby,” a wide smile spread on his lips. He turned off the ignition and took a step back, contemplating the beauty of his most precious possession. “Isn’t she beautiful?”

“Yeah, Dean, she is,” you rolled your eyes playfully. “Alright, why did you call me here?”

“We can talk in my office,” he suggested. “With chairs and AC.”

You nodded and followed him to his office. He opened the door and you rushed to the comfortable chair in front of his desk. There was something about his office that was very homey. It made you feel at ease.

Dean headed to the mini-fridge and picked a couple of beers for the two of you. He sat on his desk, handing your beverage. You frowned at him, taking a gulp. He seemed tense.

“Alright, Winchester, spill.”

“I, uh, I know this kinda seems out of the blue and that I should’ve talked to you sooner, but,” he stopped his rambling and only made you more anxious.

“But?” You arched your eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.

“I just need you to do this one little thing for me,” his pleading green eyes held your gaze.

“And that is…”

“Fake date me?” His lips curled into a weak smile as his brows furrowed, voice full of uncertainty.

“Sure,” you shrugged. “But why?”

“My parents are gonna be at Sam’s wedding and I don’t want them to pick on me for not having someone, you know?” His eyes fell to his lap, the beer in his hand untouched. “I mean, Sam’s their youngest and he’s getting married. I don’t even have a girlfriend. ‘Sides, you know everything there is to know about me so it would be easier for them to buy it. You sure you wanna do it?”

“I’m sure, Dean,” you smiled at him, placing your hand over his. Green eyes looked up to meet you. “There’s nothing wrong about being single at your age. And if your parents think otherwise, screw them.”

“Thanks, Y/N/N.”

“You’re lucky, you know?”

“And why’s that?” He took a large gulp of his beer.

“You’re gonna get to kiss me anytime you want,” you shrugged. “Just a heads up, people say I’m a pro at that.”

“Guess I’m gonna have to find that out myself,” he winked at you.

A comfortable silence fell in the room. Both of you nursed your beers isolated in your worlds.

“Did you finish your speech?” You asked.

“Yeah. It turned out really good actually. Did you finish yours?”

“Not yet,” you sighed. “I’m still trying to figure out how not to cry when I read it.”

Dean chuckled, standing up and putting on his blue flannel.

“I’m done for the day. Do you need a ride?” You nodded in response. “You going to Rocky’s or home?”

“Rocky’s,” you sighed in frustration as you headed to the door. “Gotta make up for the time Pam is gonna cover for me.”

“I thought you were gonna close the bar while we are in Hawaii.”

“I was, but Pam thought it was better to keep it open. She has way more experience in running a bar so I decided to go by her.”

Dean opened the door to the impala for you before getting behind the steering wheel. He turned the ignition and Baby’s loud purr filled your ears.

“I don’t get why we’re traveling tomorrow already,” he whined. “The wedding is only Saturday. We could hop on the plane on Thursday.”

“C’mon, I’m the maid of honor. In case anything goes wrong, I’m there,” you explained. “And you, Winchester, are the best man. You gotta help me.”

The ride to the bar was mostly quiet, saved for the sound of one of Dean’s cassettes. The night was falling and you were glad the bar closed at 10pm tonight. Dean pulled up in the driveway. You couldn’t find it in you to get out of the car and go to work. Monday nights were always dead and that’s way worse than having a busy night. The time just didn’t seem to pass.

“Do you want me to pick you up?”

“Nah, I’m good,” you smiled. “Thanks, Dean,” you leaned and pecked his stubbled cheek.

“Take care, sweetheart.”

You hopped out of the car, making your way to the bar. Every time he dropped you off at work or at home, he’d wait for you to come in then he’d head out. Tonight was no different.

“Y/N,” you turned and found Dean leaning on his seat. “Do you want to meet me at the airport or I pick you up and we head to the airport?”

“Pick me up,” you smiled. “Eight sharp, Dean.”

“Alrighty,” his lips curled into a smile. “Night, sweetheart.”

“Night, Dean-o.”

————

“Ugh, I’m so, so tired,” you grumbled, plopping down onto the airplane seat.

“Hmm, me too.”  

Dean reclined his chair, his eyes were already closed. The plane hadn’t even taken off and he was almost asleep.

“Dean,” your voice was ever so soft.

“Hmm,” he blinked an eye open to take a peek at your pleading face.

“I’m cold.”

“Alright, c’mere,” he sneaked his arm around you, pulling you closer to his body. Your head laying on his chest. “Better?”

“Better.”

“You aren’t cold, are you?”

“Not really,” you chuckled. “Just love some snuggle before falling asleep. And I know that planes make you uncomfortable. So I hope this helps.”

“It does,” you could hear the smile in his voice. “Now go to sleep.”

You and Dean slept through almost the entire flight. You called a cab and made your way to the resort you were staying at. Sam and Jess wanted to pay for yours and Dean’s stay, but you insisted on paying yourselves. They would already cover for most of the guests either way. Money would be a little tight this month, but it was worth it. It was your best friend’s wedding for Christ’s sake.

“Are you sure we’re at the right place?” You asked Dean as you both stood awestruck in front of the resort with your bags in hands.

“Uh-huh,” he swallowed thickly.

“This is so fancy. I don’t think I know how to behave in a place like this.”

“I don’t think I do either,” he chuckled.

You went to the reception and got the keys to your room. A gasp left your lips as you stepped inside. The room seemed to shine before your eyes. It was out of this world. The sprawling leather couch in front of the fifty inches tv had your breath hitching in your throat.  

“Oh my God, look at this view,” you let go of the bags and walked to the floor-to-ceiling windows.

The palm trees and the crystal blue water were a sight to behold. Sam and Jess had picked a beautiful place to get married.

“Y/N, come here,” Dean called from where you assumed to be the bathroom.

“Wow,” your eyes widened as they landed on the enormous bathtub. “I could easily drown in there.”

Your fingers roamed over the counter. Everything was in marble and hand-crafted tiles. Everything was magnificent and fancy. As well as the bath, the power shower was huge. Oh, the jacuzzi.

“I’m never leaving this room,” said Dean. “Sam can find another best man.”

“See? That’s one of the reasons why we came earlier.”

The cream Egyptian cotton sheets covering the king-sized bed made it difficult not to jump on and take a nap. You set on the edge, your body almost melting.

“Oh god, it’s memory foam.”

Dean’s lips curled into a smile as he watched you close your eyes. You were enjoying way too much. Your palms were flat on the mattress, taking in all its softness.

“I can sleep on the couch if you want,” he suggested.

“Don’t be silly. This bed is big enough for both of us. Plus, it’s not gonna be the first time we share a bed, fake boyfriend,” you shot him a wink. “Now if you don’t mind, I’m gonna hop in the shower. I’m disgusting.”

“You go,” he nodded. “I’ll text Sam to let them know we arrived safe.”

“You do that,” you smiled, picking your clothes from the suitcase. “Also, can you call the ceremonial? Let her know that we’re here and we’d like to meet her today,” you asked before entering the bathroom. 

“Will do.”

Steam filled the room as you cut the shower on. The water poured on your body, massaging your tense muscles. You bathed quickly. You had a lot of things to do before Sam and Jess arrived.

The afternoon flew by you. Barbara, the ceremonial, had everything perfectly mapped out. Her team would arrive on Thursday. That would give them plenty of time to wrap up the last details of the rehearsal dinner and the ceremony.

You and Dean finished your speeches. It would be hard to hold back the tears. You spent the rest of the day mostly in the room. Both of you were still too tired to wander around the resort. The following morning, after having a delicious breakfast, you and Dean explored the resort.

Turned out that Dean isn’t that good at the tennis table. At least now you had something to hold against him. Then he kicked your ass at pool and darts. That wasn’t nice.

You spent most of the afternoon at the pool. Dean was a bit annoyed at first because he didn’t want to apply sunscreen. He said he didn’t need it. Boy, that pissed you off. If he wanted to look like a shrimp at his brother’s wedding, then he didn’t need it after all. Dean could be as stubborn as a mule when he wanted to. But he gave in and applied it. He was even embarrassed to ask you to apply it on his back.

Sam and Jess were on their way. You were excited about their arrival. You couldn’t wait to show her around the resort. Unfortunately, they arrived late at night. You just stopped by their room to check on them before going to bed. They were extremely tired. They had worked all morning and flew by lunchtime.

Dean was in bed, searching through the channels when you stepped into the room. His hair was a little wet, spiking in multiple directions. You plopped yourself down beside him, already in your pajamas.

“My mom and dad are on the plane right now,” he grumbled, his eyes fixated on the screen.

“That’s good.”

“They’re gonna be here tomorrow morning,” Dean added. “And they want to have lunch. You, me, Sam and Jess.”

“Guess it’s happening then, huh?”

“Yeah,” he sighed.

“Do they know that you’re ’with’ me?” you glanced up at him.

“Mmhmm,” he turned his attention to you. “I didn’t say your name ‘cause I knew there was a chance you wouldn’t want to do this.”

“Guess I’m gonna meet your parents, boyfriend,” you grinned.

“You are,” Dean chuckled and you yawned.

“Good night, Dean,” you pressed a light kiss to his cheek.

“Night, sweetheart.”

You turned on your stomach, right leg hiking up as the other stood straight. Your arm was tucked under the pillow. The room went completely quiet as Dean turned off the tv. You found it odd that he remained sat instead of going to sleep.

“Y/N/N?” His voice was unsure and as quiet as a whisper.

“Hmm?”

“You awake?”

“No, I’m dead,” Dean shook his head, a chuckle leaving his lips. “What’s up, Dean?” You turned on your back to face him. He laid on his side and you did the same.

“You sure you wanna do this?”

“I’m sure, Dean,” you reassured him, fingers making their way to play with his hair. “It’s bad that I’m gonna lie to your parents the first time I meet them. But I’m doing this for you. Don't overthink this, Dean.”

“I love you, you know that?”

“Oh, I don’t think I do,” you teased.

“Ah, shut up,” he chuckled.

“I love you too.”

“I know you do,” he smiled, his warm hand came up to your cheek, knuckles caressing your skin. A trail of goosebumps wandering through your body. “Sleep tight, sweetheart,” his lips met your forehead, lingering a little bit longer than usual.

He turned his back to you, shifting in his sleeping position. His hand reached for the bedside lamp and turned it off. You were facing the back of his head, breath still caught in your throat. You shook your head and turned to your side, waiting for the sleepiness that seemed to have faded.

Sunshine invaded the room. The curtains didn’t put any resistance on keeping the room dark. The orange glow made you clamp your eyes, before fluttering it open. You blinked a few times to adjust to the bright daylight. A heavyweight in your middle made you frown. Then you became more aware of your surroundings and realized what it was. Dean’s arm was draped over your waist, his knees tucked into yours. His chest was pressed flush to your back. You took in deep breaths. It was not the first time you’d shared a bed. But he has never been this close.

“Morning,” his voice sounded hoarse from sleep. Dean nuzzled into your neck, a shiver ran down your spine, his arm tightening around you.

“Good morning,” you beamed, voice a little husky.

“Don’t wanna get up,” he whined.

“Me neither,” you mumbled. “But I’ve got so much to do today.”

“No, you don’t. You have lunch with my parents and rehearsal dinner tonight. Other than that you’re free to spend the whole morning asleep.”

“Yeah, but I can’t. I’ve gotta talk to Jess about some things. Especially about our fake dating thing.”

“I’ve told Sam so she probably already knows.”

“You’re right,” you nodded. “Thank god I was able to set up a massage session for us after lunch.”

“We’re getting a massage?” You couldn’t see, but you were sure his eyes had lightened up like a Christmas tree.

“Not us, silly,” you chuckled. “Me and Jess.”

“You’re the worst.”

“If I had set it up for us, you’d hit on the masseuse and turn that into porn.”

“No, I wouldn’t,” his voice raised about an octave. “I would fall asleep the second she touched me.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course, you would,” you scoffed.

“Why can’t we just go back to sleep? I’m tired,” he pleaded, burying his face in the curve of your neck. “You’re so comfy.”

He pulled you closer to him. Your body tensed as you felt a hardness against your ass.

“Dean, you, uh,” he noticed you stiffen in his hold.

“Oh, crap,” he pulled away as if your skin burned him. “Shit. Sorry. I, uh, I didn’t mean to-“

“It’s okay. That’s normal, Dean. I know it wasn’t on purpose or because you were, uh, you know.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. I mean it,” you smiled sympathetically. “Now go get changed so we can have breakfast. I promised Jess I’d meet her in an hour.”

Sam decided to have breakfast with you while Jess was at a yoga class. Since they’d decided on a date to get married, Jess started to hit the gym and go to yoga classes. She wanted to be in her best shape on her wedding day. It wound up becoming more of a way to relieve stress than anything else.

“Have you two come up with a story for mom and dad?” Sam asked.

“What do you mean?” Dean frowned at his brother, stuffing the last bite of his croissant in his mouth.

“They’re gonna ask you how you met, how long you met each other, how long you’ve been together, where’d you go on your first date-“

“Nah, they’re not gonna ask,” Dean shook his head. “They’re gonna focus on you and Jess.”

“Dude, you only introduced them to a girl once. And that was a long time ago. Of course, they’re gonna want to know more of you and Y/N. Take it from me. When I brought Jess home, mom wouldn’t stop asking questions. You know how she gets excited.”

“Leave it for me,” you said after taking a sip of your coffee. “I’m good at improv.”

“Your stories need to match.”

“I’m just gonna tell them the truth and change some bits. Add more romance. And voila. Dean and Y/N’s love story.”

“If you blow it, I’m gonna tell them you brainwashed me,” Dean warned you.

“Chill, Dean-o,” you bumped his shoulder. “I got everything under control.”

———

“Mom and dad, this is Y/N,” Dean motioned to you.

“Oh, it’s so nice to finally meet you,” Mary squealed, wrapping her arms around. Your eyes widened at her reaction. She squeezed you and you hugged her back.

“Nice to meet you too, Mrs. Winchester.”

“Oh, please, call me Mary,” she said, pulling away and offering you a smile.

“So we finally meet the great Y/N, huh,” John grinned, a heat crept on your cheeks.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Winchester,” you smiled.

“Call me John, kid.”

“Right.”

Dean pulled out the chair for you to sit and sat beside you. Mary and John were at each head of the table.

“Oh, Y/N, we heard so much about you,” Mary smiled.

“You did?” Your surprise couldn’t even be hidden. You glanced at Dean and he shrugged with a head tilt.

“Of course we did. This guy wouldn’t stop talking about you so it’s nice to finally put a face to the name.”

“You got him wrapped around your finger, kiddo,” said John.

You smiled sheepishly. The table fell into a comfortable silence as you looked through te menu, deciding to have the same as Dean.

“Sam, are you nervous about tomorrow?” Mary grinned.

“Yeah,” he smiled.

“I can’t wait for tomorrow,” Jess’ eyes shone every time she mentioned her wedding.

“Jess, I can’t wait to see your dress,” Mary grinned.

“Oh, it’s the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen.”

“You’ve seen it?” Mary’s blue eyes widened at you.

“Not only have I seen it, but I was there when she bought it. You’re gonna love it.”

“Y/N is my maid of honor.”

“Really? That’s great!”

“We’ve known each other since kindergarten. She was the one to introduce me to Sam,” she smiled. “She’s my other half.”

Jess extended her hand across the table, linking your fingers.

“Hey!” Sam feigned offense. She chuckled and pecked his lips into a sweet kiss.

“Dean, honey, you’re awfully quiet today,” his mom said softly.

Dean looked up from his dish, his mouth full. Smiling at him, you reached for his hair. His shoulders were tense and he had barely said a word since you sat to eat.

“Oh, he’s just afraid you’re gonna like me better than him.”

Everyone laughed and you heard a small chuckle escape his lips. He was tense and even a little nervous. You could understand that. Dean was afraid his parents wouldn’t buy your story. That would be the worst.

The table was filled with laughter. Mary did most of the talking. She asked Sam and Jess a lot of questions about their wedding. You could hear how happy she was from the way she talked. You were surprised she didn’t question you about your relationship with Dean.

“So, Y/N,” Mary turned to you.

“Oh boy, here we go,” you straighten your posture, taking a deep breath. Everyone laughed at your response.

“Please, Y/N, tell me about you and Dean. I need all the details,” her pleading blue eyes only made a stain of guilt appear on your stomach. “No, not all the details. Those you can keep to yourself.”

“Mom,” Dean nearly whined, a shade of pink coloring his cheeks.

“Ugh, gross,” John chuckled.

“Where can I start…” you needed to articulate your thoughts so the story would be convincing enough for them to believe. “About six years ago, I was driving home from my parents' house and my car broke down. I called… what was the name again?” You asked Dean.

“Jamie’s auto shop.”

“Right. I called James's auto shop and waited for the guy. The guy took way too long. It was dark and there was no one on the road. I thought I was gonna be eaten by wolves-“

“Just to be clear, there are no wolves in Lebanon, Kansas,” he interrupted you.

“You don’t know that,” you spat at him and he shrugged. “As I was saying, the guy took so long I thought he was coming on foot. It turned down he wasn’t. He was just driving like my grandma,” Dean had to bite down a laugh as he shook his head. “Then he climbed out of the car. The moment I saw those piercing green eyes, I knew I was a goner. And all those things you see in movies like the heart beating out of your chest, butterflies in your stomach. I felt all that stuff. And he was a gentleman. He made sure to drive me home. He fixed my car and gave me a really nice discount.”

“Are you telling me that it took him six years to introduce you to us?” Mary’s blue eyes were wide under arched brows.

“If it makes you feel better it took him five years to ask me on a date,” you shrugged.

Mary kept on asking about yours and Dean’s relationship. Some things were easier to answer. Others not much. Your palms started to sweat when questions started to get a little more personal. She wanted to know more about you. She asked about your family and what you did for a living. Your voice started to waver. You didn’t want to tell her that you owned a bar. A part of you feared what she’d think of you once you told her about your job. Hell, not even your parents liked the idea. What would she think of you? And why did you feel like you needed her approval?

“I, uh, I-“ you couldn’t find the words to say, your mind was hazy and your thoughts seemed to have disappeared.

Dean must have noticed because you felt a warm hand reaching for your thigh. His touch was reluctant, but soothing. He squeezed your skin softly, reminding you that he was there.

“C’mon, mom. It’s been years since I presented you to a girl and now you’re trying to scare her off?” His arm sneaked around your back, bringing your body closer to his. “This one was so damn hard to find. And there’s still time for her to get sick of me and dump me. But you’re not gonna do that, right sweetheart?” You shook your head, a smile spreading over your lips. “Good,” Dean pressed a kiss to your temple and you relaxed instantly.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Mary apologized.

“It’s okay. You can ask me whatever you want.”

“But not today,” Dean stared at his mother, his voice almost sounded like a warning. “Hell, ask Jess all the questions. She can’t run away from Sam anymore. I mean, technically she still can-“

“Dude, don’t give her any ideas,” Sam played along.

“Anyways, it was lovely to meet you guys, but Y/N and I have a couples massage session in one hour back at the resort. We should get going,” Dean lied, he wanted to get you out of there as soon as possible. He was afraid his parents would make you uncomfortable again.

You hugged them and headed out of the restaurant. John and Mary would head back to their hotel while Sam and Jess were going to meet the ceremonial. They needed to go over a few things for the rehearsal dinner tonight.

“Do you want me to call a cab or do you want to walk back to the resort?” He asked.

“We can walk,” you shrugged.

“Okay,” he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, bringing you closer to him. “I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t worry, it’s fine. I’ve had it worse,” you brushed it off as if it didn’t matter.

“Of course it’s not fine. She shouldn’t have asked you so many questions. And she shouldn’t have made you feel uncomfortable.”

“It’s okay, Dean. She was just making sure you were with someone decent.”

“Well, she’s anything but decent.”

“Dean,” you scolded. “She’s your mother. Don’t talk about her like that.”

He only shrugged. The rest of the way was quiet. You were in front of the resort in no time. Your phone buzzed in your pocket. Jess. She’d meet you in your room in fifteen minutes then you’d head down to the spa.

You decided to take a shower before meeting her. The water helped ease the tension in your shoulders. You headed out of the bathroom and found Dean laying in bed. His ankles crossed as he flipped through the channels.

“You owe me a couples massage session,” he mumbled.

“You wish, Winchester,” you rolled your eyes. “Alright, I’ll be back in an hour or so, do I meet you here or you have plans with Sam?”

“Sam and I are gonna hit the bar.”

“Okay,” you nodded. “Don’t drink too much and remember, mister, you have a girlfriend. So don’t go around hitting on chicks.”

“I’d never do that,” he winked. “Now go get your massage and see if you learn something from them so you can give me the best back massage ever.”

“Keep on dreaming, Dean.”

You met Jess at the spa. The masseuses handed you your robes and waited for you to get changed. The moment the woman started to pour her scented oils on your skin, you melted.

“So what has gotten into Mary anyway?” Jess asked. “She wasn’t too rude, but there was no reason for her to ask you all that stuff.”

“I don’t know,” you sighed. “I mean, she just wants the best for her son but I felt like I was being interrogated.”

“Yeah, I know,” she smiled sympathetically. “I had to kick Dean under the table so he’d do something,” you chuckled. “Men are so freaking dumb sometimes.”

“Yeah, they are,” you sighed. “Jess? Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course you can.”

“Does Dean seem different to you?”

“I haven’t spent much time with him lately, but he seems the same to me.”

“Are you sure he hasn’t been acting any different?”

“I am, Y/N. Now where is this coming from?”

“He’s just been very affectionate lately.”

“Affectionate?”

“Yeah. He’s just, uh- I mean, he always cared for me. Dean is so caring. But lately I feel like something might have changed.”

“And why is that?”

“We’re sleeping on the same bed. It’s not new. We used to have sleepovers and share a bed all the time, but we’d never cuddle or anything. Today, I woke up and he was spooning me. He was so close. His body was pressed against mine, his head buried in my neck. Then I felt his thing,” you blushed and Jess chuckled. “Not to mention that last night before we went to sleep he was a little weird. His hand was on my cheek and he was staring at me as if he could see my soul. Then he kissed my forehead and it lasted longer than it usually does. Now I don’t know if I’m overthinking this or not. I’m just a little confused.

“You like him, Y/N,” Jess’ smile reached her eyes.

“Of course I do, he’s my best friend.”

“No, Y/N, you really like him.”

“Are you not hearing me? He’s my best friend. Of course I really like him.”

“Are you dumb or what? I mean love, Y/N. And not in a friendly way. I mean passion.”

“Pfft, you’re delusional.”

“You know I’m not.”

Silence fell in the room. You did your best to focus on the pressure of the masseuse's fingers pressing and pulling at your skin. The things Jess just said wouldn’t stop crossing  your mind. You knew she was wrong. You and Dean were just friends. But what if she was right?

You walked back to your room and figured Dean was in the shower. You walked to the window and opened. The soothing breeze hitting your skin ever so gently, sending goosebumps throughout your body.

“You’re back,” Dean beamed.

You turned to him. He was in jeans and a fitted grey t-shirt. His wet hair spiked in every possible direction.

“I am,” you smiled. “How was it to hit the bar with Sam?” You asked when you felt his presence beside you. Just like that, it became really hard to have a casual conversation with him.

“It was alright,” he chuckled. “How was the massage?”

“Best thing that ever happened to me,” you groaned in pleasure as you remembered how good it felt.

“Better than meeting me?”

“Almost,” you chuckled.

Dean moved behind you. His arms wrapped around your middle, his chest pressed flush against your back. You stiffened at first, but you couldn’t help but melt into his touch.

“You smell good,” he leaned to your neck. His gravel voice was barely upon a whisper. The feeling of his hot breath against your skin sent shivers down your spine.

You tried to focus on anything but the feeling of having him this close. Your eyes were fixated on the blue sea, on the way the waves crashed onto the shore. But it was impossible.

“Hmmm, really good,” he nearly moaned.

Then you remembered. He had a few drinks with Sam a bit earlier. This was the alcohol talking.

Dean turned you in his arms, his green eyes stared deep into your soul. The air seemed to have become thicker. Or maybe he was just too close. His eyes wandered to your lips. He leaned his head, his breath mingling with yours. You pulled away quickly, clearing your throat. Dean seemed to realize what was happening and turned his head. His eyes falling on the calm, blue waves.

“We should, uh, we should probably get ready,” you suggested.

“Yeah. Yeah, sure,” he nodded. “I’m, uh, I’m gonna get dressed in the bathroom.”

Dean grabbed his clothes and locked himself in the bathroom. You heard the water from the sink running. What was that? Was he out of his mind? He must have been. If you hadn’t pulled away when you did, he would have… no, he wouldn’t. He couldn’t do that. He was your best friend. He just got a little carried away by the alcohol and the scent of the oils that previously bathed your skin.

You put on light makeup. Just a concealer, a thin coat of foundation and mascara. You picked the dress from the hanger and put it on. The navy blue dress fitted perfectly in your body. It hit your midthighs and seemed appropriate for the occasion.

The sound of the door unlocking echoed through the silent room. Dean got out of the bathroom all dressed up. His suit hugged his body just the right way.

“Can you help me?” You asked.

“Sure.”

“I can’t zip it. Can you do it for me?”

Dean nodded, standing beside you. The soft skin of his fingers touched your skin slightly as he zipped the dress. A different kind of electricity ran through your body.

“Thanks,” you smiled as you turned to him. “Do you want me to…” you motioned to the tie in his hand.

“Yeah, sure.”

You tied his silky red tie, smoothing it’s length. His eyes were roaming around the room, looking anywhere but you. Adjusting the collar of his shirt, you felt his gaze on you. You don’t know how much time you spent staring into each other’s eyes, but after a while he cleared his throat, breaking the trance.

“You ready?”

“Mmhmm,” you nodded, grabbing your purse and slipping into your heels. “Shall we?”

You headed out of the room and walked down the street. The restaurant Sam and Jess picked was close to the resort. So you wouldn’t get tired of going on foot.

“Hold my hand, we gotta make this look convincing, remember?” You smiled.

His warm hand took a hold of yours before stepping into the restaurant. Most of the people were already there. Jess’ parents were so happy to see you. It had been a while since you had last seen them. Her sisters cheered when their eyes landed on you. They wouldn’t stop giving you malicious looks and wiggling their eyebrows because you got the other brother.

Mary sat beside Dean. At first you were nervous she’d try to make any questions. You knew Dean wouldn’t let her do it, but you still had that feeling. That dissipated the second they started serving dinner. It was delicious and you were glad they had picked this restaurant. The room was filled with laughter and happy conversations.

After everyone had finished eating, Sam and Jess distributed gifts to their parents. They made their toasts, thanking everyone for supporting them and being there for their special day.

“I’ve been waiting for dessert the whole night,” Dean leaned, whispering to you.

“Me too,” you chuckled.

“Though it would be a whole lot better if it were pie.”

They started serving the cake and you were almost drooling. Just as you took the first bite, Mary called you.

“I need to go to the restroom,” her voice was barely audible. “Y/N, do you mind coming with me?”

You were a little taken aback, but agreed anyway. You knew she wanted to talk to you.

“Don’t let anyone touch my cake,” you asked Dean.

You followed Mary to the restroom. You tried to look for any sign of anger on her face but it didn’t show.

“I’m sorry for what I did earlier,” she smiled weakly. “I should have treated you better. I don’t know what got into me.”

“Mary, it’s okay. Really. You were just looking out for Dean.”

“He loves you, you know?” You smiled. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you as if you were his whole world. John used to look at me that way when we were your age.”

You didn’t know what to say to her. A part of you wanted to tell her it wasn’t real. He was faking it and he needed her to buy it. But another part of you wanted to believe in what she said.

“I’m glad he has someone like you, Y/N.”

“Thanks, Mary,” you smiled.

God, she’s gonna hate you if she ever finds out the truth.

“Now let’s go. I’ve stolen much of your time already.”

You made your way back to the table feeling a lot lighter.

“Everything okay?” Dean asked once you sat beside him.

“Yeah,” you smiled. Finally, you’d be able to eat your cake. Except there was no cake. “Where’s my dessert, Dean?”

“What?”

“Where’s my cake?” You made sure to not speak too loud for others to hear.

“I don’t know,” he sounded nervous.

“I can’t believe you ate my cake.”

“No, I didn’t,” he chuckled.

“Of course you did! You’re laughing,” you argued. “I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you with my food.”

“Look, I’m laughing because you’re angry. I swear I didn’t do it,” he held his hands up in surrender.

“If it wasn’t you, then who was it?”

“I don’t know. It probably was that kid,” he pointed to Jess’ nephew.

“Of course, Dean, blame it on the kid,” you hissed with a roll of your eyes.

“Look, I’m gonna get you another piece, alright?”

“You better.”

He did get another piece of dessert. It was delicious and you were as happy as a kid in a candy shop.

The rehearsal dinner came to an end and people started to leave.

“You guys are not heading back with us?” You asked the happy, soon-to-be-married couple.

“No, we still have some things to wrap up here,” Sam smiled.

“Okay,” you nodded. “You were amazing today. Everything was beautiful. I can’t wait for tomorrow,” you smiled, hugging Sam before hugging your best friend. “I love you both.”

You and Dean headed out of the restaurant and started to walk back to the resort.

“Do you wanna go for a walk?”

“I’d love that,” you said.

You walked to the beach. You breathed in the ocean carried air. Dean took off his shoes and you did the same. The soft golden sand seemed to caress your feet with its comforting warmth. The night sky along the calm sea looked like a painting.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Dean said as he noticed your eyes shine just as bright as the stars in the sky.

“It is,” you smiled.

“Let’s go in there.”

“What?” You turned abruptly to him.

“Yeah, why not?” He shrugged. “There’s no here. We can go in fully clothed or not.”

“Okay.”

“We’re doing this fully clothed or not?”

“Fully clothed.”

He nodded, shrugging off his suit, and loosening his tie. Dean took your heels from you and placed it along with his pieces of clothes on the sand. Distant enough so nothing would get wet.

Dean held out his hand for you to take. He grinned before running into the water with you. You squeaked when the cold water hit your legs.

“Shit, it’s cold,” goosebumps crept up on your skin.

“Stop being such a baby,” he teased, splashing water at you.

“Oh, you did not!”

You did the same to him. Dean chuckled, splashing more water at you. You didn’t know how much time you spent acting like kids. The sound of waves of laughter echoed through the quiet beach. You pushed him and he fell, getting completely drenched. His arms reached out for you, bringing you down with him.

“You’re so mean,” you squealed.

“You started it,” he stood to his feet, holding his hands out.

“No, you started it,” he pulled you up, and once again you were too close to his body.

“Admit it, you had fun,” his hand reached to your face, brushing a few damp strands off your face.

“It was too cold,” you shivered.

“But you had fun.”

“I did,” you smiled.

“Let’s head back, shall we?” 

You nodded. Dean picked up your stuff and put his jacket around your shoulders.

“Thanks,” you smiled.

“Just making sure you won’t freeze to death, sweetheart,” he sneaked his arm around your waist.

You walked in silence. You quietly thanked once you saw the resort get closer and closer. Your sore feet were more than glad to be back in your room.

“We should try that jacuzzi, huh?” He suggested.

“Yeah, we should,” you sighed, heading to the bathroom.

“I meant together, like-“

“I know what you meant, Dean,” you said, turning on the jacuzzi. “Now grab that champagne in the mini-fridge.”

He nodded and did as told. You could see there was something off about him.

“You sure you’re okay with the naked thing?” He asked.

“Yeah, of course,” you checked on the temperature and turned on the jets. “Are you?”

“Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” He was nervous. You chuckled. “What?”

“Nothing, it’s just that you seem a little nervous.”

“I’m not nervous.”

“Okay, good,” you shrugged. “Can you, uh…” you turned to him.

“Yeah, sure,” he slowly unzipped your dress.

The dress pooled around your feet. Dean swallowed thickly at the sight of you in your underwear. His breath was caught in his throat. You slipped off your panties and he instinctively licked his lips. He was glad you had your back to him.

“Alright, I’m not gonna be the only one naked here, right?” You turned to him.

“Wanna see what I’m wearing underneath all this?”

You frowned. He unbuttoned his white shirt and tugged down his pants. You blurt out laughing.

“I can’t believe you have a Scooby-Doo underwear!”

“Cool right?” He grinned, pulling off his boxers.

“It’s awesome, you beamed.

You hopped on the jacuzzi, the warm water making you relax instantly. Dean poured champagne for the both of you.

“So I was thinking,” you said before taking a sip at your drink. “Can I grab your butt in front of your parents?”

“No, Y/N, you can’t grab my butt in front of my parents.”

“But it’s so perky,” you pleaded.

“Y/N,” he gave a warning look.

“Okay, okay. I won’t grab your butt in front of your parents.”

“Great,” he smiled. “Can I kiss you in front of my parents?”

“Sure,” you shrugged. “It doesn’t have to be right in front of your parents, you know?”

“Yeah?”

“Sure. I mean, friends kiss sometimes.”

“Really?”

“I’m actually surprised you’re asking me this, but yeah, Dean, they do,” you said. “How do you think Jess and I learned how to kiss?”

“Oh, I never thought about that part.”

You chuckled. Both of you fell into silly conversations. It made you forget you were actually naked in front of him.

“We should get out,” he said. “It’s getting late.”

“Yeah, we should.”

Dean stood up, picking your glass from your hand.

“See, it’s perky,” you said.

He chuckled.

“Here you go,” he took your hand in his, helping you out of the tub. Dean wrapped a towel around your shoulders before wrapping one around his waist.

“Dean?”

“What?”

“I dare you to kiss me,”

His green eyes widened, but also looked for any sign that indicated you were kidding. His hand came up to cup your cheek. His plump lips captured yours in a sweet kiss. They glided over each other as if you had done this before. You wrapped your arms around his neck, your towel falling in the process. He deepened the kiss as you parted your lips, allowing his tongue to delve into your mouth. His hand on your hip, squeezed your skin, drawing you closer to him. His tongue traced yours in a sensual dance. You tasted the champagne in his warm muscle. A moan was muffled by his lips.

The need for air came sooner than you hoped for. You parted. Neither of you dared to open your eyes. Dean pecked your lips softly before resting his forehead against yours. His thumb caressed your flushed cheek.

“I should, uh, I should go get changed,” he cleared his throat.

You nodded, watching him exit the room. Your fingers traced up to your kiss swollen lips. God, you were screwed.

——— “You look so beautiful. I think I’m gonna cry,” you said to Jess.

She looked perfect. Her gown looked even more beautiful than you remembered.

“Sam won’t know what hit him,” you smiled.

“I’m so glad I chose you as my maid of honor,” she grinned, hugging you. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you kissed her cheek. “I need to get going. It’s almost time.”

You headed to the lounge to meet Dean. He was standing there in his tuxedo. You could swear you had never seen him this handsome.

His eyes widened once he saw you. Dean nearly gasped. The rose gold gown fitted your body perfectly, hugging every curve.

“You look, wow,” he smiled. “You look beautiful.”

“You don’t look bad yourself,” you smiled, pecking his lips. “Shall we?”

He linked his arm with yours, guiding you towards the beach. Everything looked so beautiful. It looked as if it had come out of a movie.

You waited for your queue and walked down the aisle to the altar. You and Dean stood on opposite sides.

A trail of goosebumps ran through your body once you spotted Jess. She grinned wide as her eyes found Sam’s. It was happening. Their dream was coming true.

“Family and friends, we’re gathered here today to celebrate the love of Samuel and Jessica.”

You forced your eyes away from the couple only to meet Dean’s green orbs staring at you. His lips curled into a smile. You held each other’s gaze. Your cheeks started to heat up at the intensity of his look.

Sam and Jess read their vows. You cursed at yourself for not focusing on them. Dean’s eyes were drawing you to him. Silly smiles spread wide on your lips.

The ceremony was beautiful. It was better than you and Jess expected. They were pronounced husband and wife and everyone headed to the wedding reception. They danced to the sound of their favorite song. Everyone could see how much they loved each other and how happy they were.

You and Dean made your toasts separately. Both Jess and Sam teared up a little. After the toasts, most people headed to the dance floor.

“Would you like to dance?” Dean held his hand for you as a slow song echoed through the room.

“With you? Always.”

He guided you to where couples were dancing. His hands were placed on your hips as you wrapped your arms around his neck, both of you swaying to the rhythm of the song.

“So where does this leave us huh?” He asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You know what happened last night. That wasn’t just two friends kissing. I know it and you know it too.”

“I know, you’re right,” you looked up at him.

“Good,” he smiled. “So no more fake dating?”

“No more fake dating.”

He pecked your lips into a passionate kiss and the whole world fell away.

“Call me selfish, but I don’t ever want anyone else to touch you,” he said as you parted. “Not even your friends kissing you.”

“Same goes for you, Winchester.”

———

“You’re not gonna join them?” Dean asked behind you, wrapping his arms around your middle.

“Nah, let them have their fun,” you said, watching the group of women gather not so far as they waited for Jess to throw the bouquet.

They all cheered and screamed when she tossed it. You jumped when the flowers fell on your feet.

“Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me,” you rolled your eyes.

“It’s way too soon, sweetheart,” Dean chuckled.

“Alright, ladies,” you announced, holding up the flowers. “$20 and the bouquet is yours,” they all laughed. “No? Ten bucks maybe?”

Dean chuckled, pressing his lips to your cheek.

“You’re one of a kind, sweetheart.”

Please, consider sharing your thoughts with me via reply reblog or ask!

Dean Sweethearts:

@maya-craziness​ @akshi8278​ @spookytaylors​ @witch-of-letters

[angelofarts]

79 willex for the i love you prompts

Write a drabble I said.

1103 words is definitely a drabble, I said.

At any rate, Kyleigh!!!! I hope you enjoy this as it ran away from me completely

Dancing To Your Heartbeat

It happened.

Julie did it.

She saved them.

And now… now the boys had to figure out how to live again.

The world was a very different place to what Alex had known in 1995. They still lived in a garage, but now it was a garage with beds. They still had their family, but now their family had grown.

Julie, who had crawled into Alex’s heart and made a home. Not family the way the boys were, but family the way people who choose to love you were family.

Ray, who after pinching his nose and letting out a sigh agreed to take on the boys, becoming the second living victim of the patented Sunset Curve Cuddle Pile (Julie had been first after vanquishing Caleb – she claimed she still had the bruises).

Carlos, who Alex was actually kind of scared of – the kid had this terrifying ability to bring all of Reggie’s pranks to life no matter how outlandish.

And… Willie.

Willie, who had escaped Caleb and fought with them.

Willie, who had kissed Alex after the battle and made his toes curls in his shoes.

Willie, who held Alex’s heart in his hands.

Willie, Willie, Willie.

The thing about living in such a big family though was that alone time was fairly rare. Between the band, cheering for Carlos at his games, school and a social life that didn’t involve poofing around to make faces behind people and make Julie laugh, Alex was realising he hadn’t spent any time alone with Willie since the battle.

Which was fine!

Absolutely fine!

Alex was definitely not stressing about this!

“You look stressed,” Julie noted, handing him a pint of ice cream. Alex grumbled as he opened it, offering the tub to Luke for a spoonful. Julie settled on the beanbag, handing Reggie a spoon.

“You do,” Reggie said, staring up at him from the ground. “More than usual.”

Alex chose to take a spoonful of rocky road instead of answering. Julie raised an eyebrow before a sly grin slid over her face.

“Have you and Willie had any alone time?”

Luke’s head whipped towards Alex so quickly that Alex was faintly worried about whiplash – they had to worry about this kind of thing now. Perks of being recently brought back to life.

“No,” he grumbled eventually. “But I don’t want to talk about it. I want to eat my feelings instead like a mature eighteen year old.”

Julie let out a small giggle. Alex smirked when Luke gave her the heart eyes that he kept saying he didn’t have.

“You could eat your feelings,” Julie pointed out with a grin. “Or you could listen to my idea.”

**********************************************************************************

It was a good idea.

Ray took Reggie with him to a shoot. Despite Reggie’s tendency towards clumsiness, he had a remarkable awareness of the space around him when confronted with camera equipment, and had taken to accompanying Ray as an assistant of sorts.

Julie took Luke to the Wilson household. They had been working on improving their relationship with Bobby, so Luke had spent time there writing songs and tweaking instruments. It had taken a while to explain to Carrie, and they still weren’t entirely sure she believed them, but she had been trying to extend an olive branch to Julie and Flynn so Alex would count it as a win.

Finally, Carlos had taken Tia shopping for something to do with the livestream he had planned for the band.

Which left Willie and Alex alone all afternoon.

Something that was making Alex extremely anxious.

It seemed ridiculous – they all slept in the garage and spent most of their free time together. Why was Alex nervous? It was just Willie.

But also… it was Willie.

And Willie was the entire galaxy in one person.

The galaxy currently throwing popcorn at Alex in an attempt to get his attention.

“You okay, Hot Dog? You haven’t been focused on the movie.”

Alex smiled at Willie, trying to keep the anxiety off of his face. “Fine. Just… remembering.”

Willie paused the movie, something Alex was still trying to wrap his head around doing on live TV, before turning to face him. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Alex said softly. “This used to be Bobby’s house. I spent so much time here before the hotdogs, and so much time afterwards.”

Willie looked around. “Did the Molina’s do good with the interior decorating?”

Alex smiled. “Yeah. I like what Rose did with the place.”

They were silent for a moment before Willie let out a soft chuckle. “You know, I think I can feel the love left in here. Julie showed me a video where her parents were dancing in the kitchen to christen the house after Carlos was born.”

“Oh yeah,” Alex said musingly. “Ray said they did it after every kid. Turned the house into a home for each of them. It’s a pity Rose couldn’t be here to christen it for us though.”

Willie jumped off of the couch, surprising Alex with the jostling. “Well, we can’t let tradition die. Hot Dog, may I have this dance?”

“Your odds of having me say yes are significantly better if you use my real name,” Alex said, nevertheless taking Willie’s offered hand. “How do we put on music though?”

Willie cleared his throat. “Alexa, play finally beautiful stranger.”

Alex shuddered. “I hate that the house can do that.”

They turned in circles, the sun providing a spotlight for them as it poured through the windows. Alex marvelled for a moment at the dust particles – particles he was moving, that they were moving. Because they had real physical bodies.

Because they were alive.

“I still regret not dancing with you that night,” he murmured as the song changed. Willie smiled at him before settling his head over Alex’s heart.

“Me too. It was the start of bad things but… it was a good time.”

“The fourth best,” Alex corrected.

Willie pulled back, raising an eyebrow. “Fourth best?”

“Third best was the Orpheum,” Alex said, maneuvering Willie around the island into the kitchen without much thought. “The second best was when we defeated Caleb.”

“And the best?” Willie asked, raising an eyebrow.

“The best is right now,” Alex said before pressing a soft kiss to Willie’s mouth. Willie drew back after a moment, laying his head back over Alex’s heart.

“I never imagined someone’s heartbeat could sound so amazing,” Willie whispered.

Alex smiled and closed his eyes, inhaling the scent of Willie’s hair. He was determined to commit it to memory.

“It beats a song for you.”

It was a good house christening.

[senstia]

Andrew being comfortable saying i love you to neil and saying it a bunch??

im a firm believer that andrew gets comfortable being more expressive with Neil and saying i love you after he has been with him for a long time, here u go (:

The foxes had a new bet. After years of Andrew and Neil living together they all knew that Andrew and Neil loved each other. They’d seen it through subtle touches and passing glances throughout the years. But what they didn’t know is if the two boys said it to each other. Did they say ‘I love you’ ? Did they whisper sweet nothings in each others ears? Did they hold hands just for the sake of being close? Did they kiss when there was really no reason to? That’s what the foxes wanted to know. As much as Nicky wanted it, he didn’t believe that they were like that. Allison, Matt, and Dan firmly believed that Neil and Andrew had affectionate sides that no one saw. Renee stayed quiet as always and Aaron and Kevin sided with Nicky. They argued about it for about an hour, the foxes loved contemplating Neil and Andrew‘s relationship, it had become a game for them over the years, but mainly it was because they all loved the two boys so much and hoped that they were both happy.

“I have a plan,“ Allison said. “Lets go visit them! We haven’t seen them in forever anyway. We can all stay at their apartment and maybe we might see a thing or two.”

“Do they have enough space for that?” Nicky asked.

“Yeah they have a spare bedroom with two fulls and we can bring a few blowup mattresses and all sleep in there,” Kevin said.

~

Andrew was perched on the island in his and Neil’s shared kitchen, watching the commotion. Neil had decided that it would be a good idea to invite all the former foxes over for the weekend and right now Andrew was regretting agreeing to it. After a stressful week full of nightmares for Neil, all Andrew wanted to do was stay wrapped up in Neil until there was nothing in the world left but each other. But no. Instead his stupid junkie was bouncing from fox to fox, catching up with them all, and had forgotten Andrew completely. Andrew scowled. He had gotten far too used to having Neil’s undivided attention all the time.

As per tradition they were having movie night. Andrew’s mood had slightly improved because Neil had brought his favorite ice cream and was now sitting snug against him on the couch. The foxes were making noise all around them but Andrew’s focus was zeroed in on Neil. Neil’s cheeks were flushed and his eyes were bright. Happiness. Andrew’s heart clenched at the sight.

Neil had spent the last week shaking and vomiting, lost in his own nightmares. He had been quiet all week, too quiet. His skin was in a constant state of clamminess and he had said no to Andrew three times. Neil always stayed close by, but when Neil was usually smothering, this week he had been distant. Seeing Neil’s smile back made Andrew’s heart clench painfully. Seeing Neil happy was all he wanted. He was so relieved by that smile it almost hurt.

Neil’s eyes drifted to Andrew’s and softened minutely as they did, “Staring.”

“Yes,” Andrew murmured, not taking his eyes off Neil. While Andrew still played the apathetic card with Neil a good amount, it was seeming more and more pointless lately. Neil loved him. He loved Neil. He had gotten to a point where he was comfortable saying it. Deflection wasn’t as necessary anymore. And then something twinged in Andrew’s chest as he realized he hadn’t said it to Neil once this week. Neil had been in such an awful state and he... he didn’t say it. Why didn’t he say it? Andrew knew words of affection were a balm to Neil’s wounds most of the time. Usually touch was Andrew’s way of showing Neil how much he loved him... but Neil hadn’t wanted that this week. And Andrew suddenly wondered if Neil had been craving words he didn’t receive.

“Drew?” Neil asked softly, pulling Andrew out of his reverie. Andrew looked back up at Neil.

“Yes or no?” Andrew asked.

Neil nodded and Andrew leaned in and kissed Neil softly, holding his cheeks in his hands. He pulled back slightly and looked at Neil, stroked his fingers along Neil’s cheeks. And then he traced Neil’s jaw with a finger, and then his eyes, his nose, and finally his lips. He kissed Neil once more softly and pulled back, settling into the couch. Neil just sighed and rested his head on Andrew’s shoulder, turning to watch the movie they had put on.

~

Allison smacked Nicky on the arm four times but he was too engrossed in the movie to notice.

“Nicky! They just kissed!” Allison whispered.

“We’ve seen them kiss before, this bet is about words Allison! Now watch the movie,” Nicky whispered back.

~

Andrew woke to darkness and an empty bed. The sheets were still warm on Neil’s side so he knew he hadn’t been gone long. Andrew padded into the kitchen and saw Neil leaning on the kitchen counter, staring at his hands like he was searching for something there. Andrew flicked on a dimmed light and walked up to Neil, leaning against the counter beside him. After a few minutes of silence Neil’s voice rang out.

“Drew,” he said, his voice was husky from disuse, he sounded drained.

Andrew look to Neil and was met with those impossibly blue eyes. They weren’t bright right now though. They were cold, distant.

Andrew took a step closer to Neil and leaned in, Neil’s entire body flinched when Andrew lifted his hand. Andrew pulled back quickly. It was becoming more frequent that Neil didn’t want to be touched after a nightmare. And that was okay. Andrew knew better than anyone that that was okay. But he didn’t know what had caused the change.

“I-I can’t. I can’t...” Neil choked out, his body shaking.

“Don’t. Don’t feel guilty for not wanting to be touched.”

“But I do... I do. I just... I can’t.”

“That’s okay,” Andrew murmured.

Neil looked up at Andrew and his eyes softened.

“Drew,” He whispered, like a prayer.

“What do you need?” Andrew asked.

~

Nicky smacked Allison awake and hopped to the other foxes to wake them up.

“What the hell Nicky! It’s the middle of the night!” Kevin groaned.

“Neil and Andrew are awake! We have to spy on them. Everyone wake up!” Nicky exclaimed.

Once all the foxes were awake they crept to their bedroom door and cracked it open enough so that they could see into the kitchen.

Neil was leaning against the kitchen counter in his pajamas and Andrew was standing in front of him, a few inches away. They were murmuring too softly for the foxes to hear. The foxes slowly snuck out into the room a little further so that they could hear the exchange.

“What do you need?” Andrew was asking softly, looking at Neil with something like concern in his eyes, something like love.

Neil looked torn as he stared at Andrew, like he didn’t know how to respond to that.

“I-I’ve been having nightmares about how I got the scars on my abdomen,” Neil whispered. The foxes froze at this. Andrew seemed to freeze too. Andrew stayed silent, waiting for Neil to continue.

“Usually the-the nightmares are just memories. But lately... it’s like im living through it again. I can feel every lash of pain through my body like its happening all over again. I can still feel the echoes of it when I wake up. Thats why... that’s why its been harder for me to... lately. I still want... I don’t want you to think I don’t... I just can’t.” Neil said.

“Don’t worry about me Neil. Not for a second. I know. I know, Neil. Okay? You don’t have to explain it to me. You don’t owe me or anyone else that,” Andrew said firmly.

The two just stared at each other for the longest time, Neil seemed to drink in Andrew’s presence. Every second he seemed to relax more.

“Just... just my face,” Neil murmured.

Andrew raised a brow.

Neil scowled. “Yes, Andrew.”

Andrew stared at Neil for a few more moments and then took a step closer to him. He raised and hand to Neil’s cheek and traced it softly. Neil’s eyes fluttered closed at the contact and he seemed to revel in the feel of Andrew’s touch.

“Mm...” Neil hummed in contentment as Andrew kept stroking his face. Neil’s eyes fluttered open, “Thank you. I love you Drew.”

Allison smacked Nicky on the arm, “I told you,” she whispered aggressively.

Nicky smacked her back, “This goes both ways! Andrew has to say it too,” he whispered back.

“Can I kiss you?” Andrew asked.

Neil hummed and nodded. Andrew ghosted his lips over Neil’s cheek, kissed it once softly. Then he did the same to the other. And then he finally slotted his lips over Neil’s and kissed him reverently.

“I love you,” Andrew murmured against Neil’s mouth. Neil groaned at the words and his hands tightened on the countertop.

“Say it again...”

Andrew paused for a moment and then leaned in to kiss Neil’s jaw. “I love you.”

He kissed his ear. “I love you.”

He kissed his nose, “I love you.”

He kissed each of Neil’s eyelids, “I love you.”

Andrew kissed every square inch of Neil’s face, whispering I love you each time he kissed him. The foxes were floored. Aaron looked about one second from having a heart attack. Nicky was almost choking trying to conceal his squealing.

Matt had tears in his eyes, “I’m so happy for him... Neil deserves this so much. Oh my god.”

“I never thought... Andrew...” Aaron whispered.

~

Andrew pushed past all the intrusive thoughts in his head telling him this wasn’t right, this was wrong. Because that wasn’t true, and he was tired of fighting himself. Andrew had been dealing with this mental block for years, Bee had been helping him get through it in therapy lately, ever since Andrew and Neil had moved in together, Bee had brought it up, Andrew’s problem with expressing how he feels. It had been a rocky road and it had taken Andrew three years of going through it with Bee before he was able to choke out those three words to Neil. But it was easier now, especially when Neil was hurting, when Andrew knew it would help him. So Andrew let the words flow, let himself be painfully honest for once. Because he loved Neil. Goddamnit he loved Neil so much that sometimes he thought it might make him vomit. It was the most terrifying thing in the world but after being with Neil for 11 years the fear was only a dull ache, it wasn’t so suffocating anymore.

~

Neil felt new. Like every bad thing that had every happened to him was washed away with those words, with Andrew’s lips on his skin.

“Yes or no?” Neil asked as Andrew pulled back from Neil’s face. Andrew nodded and Neil pulled Andrew into a hug, burying his head in Andrew’s chest. Every part of them was touching and Neil didn’t feel any pain anymore.

“You. Are. Everything.” Neil whispered against Andrew. Andrew just tightened his arm around Neil and stroked his hair with a hand.

“You are too,” he murmured back.

~

The foxes walked back to their room in a daze, struck stupid by what they had just witnessed.

“I’ve never seen love like that before,” Kevin said quietly.

“No one is ever allowed to call Andrew monster again. We should have believed Neil when he said it wasn’t true,” Allison said.

“I’m just so happy for them yanno? They deserve it more than anyone in the world,” Nicky said emotionally.

Renee had a soft smile on her face, “Yes. They do.”

[spine-buster]

The President Wears Prada (William Nylander) | Chapter 17

A/N:  Soooo just a quick note that in celebration of my birthday on August 23rd, I’m going to be doing a DOUBLE UPLOAD WEEK NEXT WEEK.  That means you will be getting Chapter 18 on Monday August 24th and Chapter 19 on Thursday August 27th, both at 7:30pm EST as my gift to you.  YAY!  If you are able, please consider donating to my Ko-Fi at   ko-fi.com/spine_buster   if you appreciate it and like what you’re reading!  Otherwise, ENJOY! 

January 14th, 2020

Aberdeen Bloom was looking forward to the All-Star Break.  

With Kasha going to Aruba with her dad and the Leafs on the bye-week, she was looking forward to spending eight days completely alone and devoid of any work before she had to fly out with the team to Nashville.  Though she’d just had a mini-break at Christmas, this was much more substantial.  She knew she would be able to recharge and re-energize herself for the second half of the season – the second half she knew the team would have to push hard through to make the playoffs.  Because not making the playoffs was not an option.  

After what had happened four days ago after the Night With the Blue and White, Aberdeen had been in a weird place mentally.  Though she didn’t regret a thing that happened that night, and she didn’t regret anything she’d said to William, what happened between them was still wrong.  In every way, it was wrong.  And because it was so wrong, and it went against everything she believed in, every boundary she put up for herself and put so much time and effort into upholding, she knew nothing could come of it.  It couldn’t go any further.  They couldn’t become boyfriend and girlfriend.  They couldn’t date.  They couldn’t do anything.

They shouldn’t kiss again.

They shouldn’t have sex again.

But was that actually going to happen?  Or would their feelings get the best of them again and lure them further into a passionate affair they knew should not, could not happen?

Five days ago, she had been pretending to be aloof about William Nylander.  Four days ago, she’d had sex with him and told him she loved him.  Three days ago, they’d started texting regularly, after months of one-sided text messages on his part.  Two days ago, the team had suffered a bad loss to Florida 8-4, and they talked on the phone for what felt like the entire night about it when he got back into Toronto.  One day ago, he’d FaceTimed her after dinner and she answered the call.  Today, he promised her he’d score a goal for her and followed through with that promise.

Aberdeen was spiralling.  She was getting lost in William, and William was getting lost in her.  But she didn’t put a stop to absolutely any of it.  

After the game, she had to go back to her desk to pick up a few things she’d left there.  Brendan had come back with her, going into his office secretively and shuffling some things around.  Half of her wondered what he was looking for, while the other half didn’t care since she should be on her way home right now anyway.  

“Aberdeen?” he called from his office just as she had finished packing up her things.  “Can you bring me the proofs so I can take them home?”

Aberdeen grabbed them from the drawer in her desk and walked into his office.  He was looking over the score sheet when she held them in front of him, smiling, and he looked at her briefly before taking it.  “The All-Star Weekend is one of the most important weekends of my entire year.  We have three of the guys going.  I need the best possible team with me,” he said, barely looking at her, though his voice was steady.  “That no longer includes Peter.”

Aberdeen’s smile disappeared instantly.  She realized almost immediately what he was implying.  “Wait.  You want me to…no, Brendan.  I…” she exhaled sharply.  “Peter—Peter would die.  He’s been talking about the All-Star Weekend since Christmas.  I—I can’t do that, Brendan, I can’t,” she shook her head.  She knew how much it meant to him.  Meanwhile, she was looking forward to sleeping in.  They weren’t the same, and only one of them refused to go.

“If you don’t go, I’ll assume you’re not serious about your future…with the Toronto Maple Leafs or any other publication,” he said.  He finally looked at her, giving her an up-down she wasn’t familiar with at all.  Usually she got them for her looks or outfits – many girls did – but this was something completely different.  An up-down from a boss that said he was sure of his decision and nobody could convince him otherwise; like he was saying “Are you sure you want to say no to this” when they both knew she didn’t have the option.  “The decision is yours.”

She couldn’t believe him.  She couldn’t fucking believe that he had already made the decision for her.  She didn’t want to go.  She didn’t need to go.  Peter wanted to go.  Peter needed to go.  “But—”

“That’s all,” he said dismissively, like he usually did.  He gave her one last knowing look.  “Goodnight, Aberdeen.”

She stared at him for a brief moment before angrily turning on her heels and walking out of his office.  She couldn’t believe she was just put in that position.  There was no way she could say no after that, even if she’d wanted to.  She knew that it must have meant that she had done something right, after all the things she’d done wrong, but it was still taking an opportunity that wasn’t hers to take.  Peter went to the All-Star Game.  Peter mingled with all the players and GMs and Presidents that attended.  Not her.  She grabbed her jacket from her chair, threw it on herself, and threw her purse over her shoulder before walking out of the office.

She took the long way back to her apartment, despite the cold, to think things over.  What had made Brendan and Kyle come to that decision?  Who the hell brought it up?  Who agreed on it?  She needed answers that she’d never get.  Back in November, when Mike Babcock was fired and Brendan and Kyle thanked her for not leaking anything to the press, she’d told Kyle how she would never burn the bridge she had with the Leafs and how she wouldn’t take advantage of the team or someone for personal gain.  He’d said that she was young, but he appreciated someone with conviction.  Did she still have that conviction?  Did she still have that conviction now that she’d slept with William and put her job in jeopardy?  Did she still have that conviction now that she was following through with what was basically an affair with William, which was against personal beliefs and company policy?  Did she still have that conviction now that she was taking an opportunity from a co-worker, a friend, who had been nothing but nice to her and helped her along her rocky path instead of calling her Girl Friday and feeling her up in the staff kitchen?  

She didn’t know what to think anymore.  In many ways, she didn’t know who she was anymore.  She’d completely lost any sense of old Aberdeen.  But the problem was, this – what she was feeling right now – wasn’t new Aberdeen.  It wasn’t.  She was still Aberdeen Bloom, just another version of her.  She’d always had this in her.  She’d always had the drive, and the work ethic, and the want and need to impress the people around her.  The outcome had just been different.  Before, it was good grades on essays or being published in Acta Victoriana and the Hart House Review.  Now, the outcome was taking opportunities from others – others she could put a face, name, and personality to.  Others she called co-workers.  Others she called friends.  Before, they were nameless and faceless.  

Now they were named Peter.  

She didn’t know how the news would be broken to Peter, or when, but she knew he wouldn’t be happy about it.  Maybe it had already happened, for all she knew.  She just hoped she didn’t have to be the one to do it.

***

January 16th, 2020

It was maybe an hour before the game when Aberdeen felt the energy in the office shift.  Kyle had just left Brendan’s office and had spoken with Aberdeen briefly about the happenings of the day, making sure she’d be in the box during the game against Calgary that night.  Brendan had followed him out, for the most part, and when Aberdeen noticed him walking back, he looked serious.  

“Aberdeen, don’t forget to tell Peter,” he said before he popped into his office.  He gave her one last look.  “Do it now,” he encouraged, closing the door behind him.

She exhaled sharply.  She was going to kill him.  So they hadn’t told him, and they’d left it to her to do their dirty laundry.  She was going to kill them both – she liked Kyle, but she’d kill him too.  Now she had to find Peter, get him alone somewhere, and break the news to him.  She got up from her desk and began to look for him – it didn’t take long, thankfully, because she found him scurrying through the hallways, like he always was.  

When he noticed her, he gave her a quick nod.  “Hi, sorry, I know I’m late with the report Brendan wants—”

“No, Peter—” she tried to begin as she got closer to him.

“It’s just Kyle wanted a new scarf from Hermes, and he did tell me yesterday, but I forgot like an idiot and so I freaked out, of course—”

“Peter—Peter, I need to talk to you.  There’s something I have to talk to you about,” Aberdeen stressed.  

Peter calmed down slightly.  “Well, I hope it’s not another Brendan or Kyle problem, because I’ve got so much to deal with before I go.  I swear to God, I—”

“Peter,” she said sternly.  “Can we…can we go inside your office?  Please?”

Seeing how skittery she was, Peter agreed and led her into his office and closed the door behind him.  He set his things down on his desk before turning to face her.  “What’s going on, Aberdeen?”

She hadn’t prepared anything to say, so she knew she was going to just word vomit once the moment actually came.  She’d tried to think of ways to say what she needed to say, but nothing came out right, and nothing softened the blow.  She knew that no matter what she said or how she said it, Peter would be angry.  “You’re not going to the All-Star Game,” she said plainly.

Peter looked taken aback by the statement, like he didn’t understand.  “I’m sorry, what?”

“You’re not—listen, after the game against New Jersery, Brendan called me into his office and told me that he and Kyle decided I was going, not you,” she said.  She didn’t want to say Brendan’s exact words, how he needed ‘the best possible team’ and that it ‘no longer included Peter’.  That would be too harsh.  

“What do you…I…” he couldn’t formulate any words.  The realization hit him like a ton of bricks.  “Did you say no?” he asked, his tone suddenly changing from one of confusion to one of anger.

“He was on the verge of practically firing me if I said no!” she exclaimed.  It was somewhat true, but mostly a lie.  He was basically dangling every opportunity she could take advantage of in the future in terms of writing over her head.  In Aberdeen’s mind, that was worse than firing.

“I don’t care if he was going to fire you or beat you with a red-hot poker!  You should have said no!” Peter exclaimed.

“Peter, I didn’t have a choice!”

“Oh, please!”

“You know how Brendan is!” she tried to reason.

“That is a pathetic excuse!” he turned away from her, so angry he felt ready to burst.  Aberdeen didn’t know what to do.  She knew he would react angrily, but she didn’t know just how angrily.  She also didn’t expect the blame game to be put on her rather than Brendan and Kyle – the two men who actually made the decision.  He was beside his desk at this point, having paced for a while to cool down.  “Do you know what really just…gets me about this whole thing?  It’s that, you know, you’re the one who said you don’t really care about this stuff, and you don’t really care about hockey.  You want to be a writer.  What a pile of bullshit!”

Aberdeen winced.  “Peter, I know you’re mad.  I don’t blame you—”

“Face it, Aberdeen.  You sold your soul the day those boys took you out to dinner in St. John’s.  I saw it,” he accused, his voice so scathing that a lump formed in Aberdeen’s throat.  “And you know what really just kills me about this whole thing, is the people you are going to meet…I mean, you don’t deserve to!  You don’t even like hockey, for Christ’s sake!  God it’s so unfair!”

Being chosen over him was one thing.  But being told by Peter she didn’t deserve it was another thing.  She tried to remember that he was really angry, that his dream had essentially been snatched away from him, and that’s why he was saying all these mean things, but it got to her.  She’d been working hard since the day she stepped into the office, and he’d been helping her, and even though she had her fair share of gaffes and slipups along the way, it didn’t cover up the fact that she worked hard.  In his anger, Peter didn’t see that.  “Peter—”

“Just go,” he said, his voice softer as he crossed his arms across his chest.  

“Peter, I—”

“I said go!”

Aberdeen sighed.  At that moment, she knew there was nothing she could say, and nothing she could do to calm him down or soften the blow.  He was angry at her, and he’d stay angry at her for the foreseeable future, until he got over her going to the All-Star game – if he ever got over it.  

***

The boys had lost 2-1 in a shootout.  William had scored the only true goal of the game, but she was so despondent she almost didn’t even care.  The conversation she’d had with Peter kept playing over and over in her head.  Brendan could tell, apparently, because he let her leave right after the game.  

It was barely less than five minutes from when she got home that her phone buzzed on her kitchen countertop.  She’d placed it there so she could take a swig from the bottle of wine she and Kasha had opened last night.  

can u buzz me in? don’t want to wake kasha

She pressed the button and kept the condo door open with her boot.  When William walked through the door, still in his game day suit, she was taking another long swig.  His eyebrows immediately furrowed.  “Are you alright?” he closed the door and locked it behind him.  

She didn’t know how to answer that question.  She gulped her wine.  “I’m going to St. Louis.”

“You’re going to St. Louis for the All-Star Game?”

“Mhm.  It just happened,” she nodded her head.

“That’s one of the biggest weekends of the year.”

“Mhm.”

“I mean, are you going with Brendan, Kyle, and the guys?”

“Mhm.”

She could tell he was trying to piece together why this was affecting her so much – why it was making her swig a bottle of red wine and not bother getting a glass.  “I thought the All-Star Game was a big deal for Peter, or…” he tried to clarify.

God.  If even Willy knew about how much it meant to Peter, then it was an even bigger deal than she thought.  “Great.  Now you’re gonna give me a hard time too?” she demanded, setting the wine down on the counter before stomping her way towards her bedroom.  

“Hey hey hey, Aberdeen.  Aberdeen—”

“I didn’t have a choice, okay?  Brendan asked me and I couldn’t say no.  He was dangling every future opportunity for writing over my head,” she whipped around to talk to him.  

William had dropped his bag by the door before he approached her, wrapping his arms around her.  “I’m not trying to give you a hard time,” he said softly.  “I just…that’s news, that’s all.  The guys know that it’s usually Peter that goes.  But if you’re going now you must have done something right.”

“But I don’t know what I did,” she melted into him.  She could feel herself get emotional.  “And I don’t want to take that opportunity away from Peter.  He lives for All-Star Weekend.”

“Minskatt, you didn’t take an opportunity away from Peter, you earned an opportunity to go,” he encouraged her to think of it differently.  

She sighed.  She didn’t really want to talk about it anymore – talking about it more just made it worse for her.  She wondered if Peter was throwing plates against the wall in his apartment.  “I think I’m more upset about not getting a full eight days off,” she mumbled, causing William to giggle.  She looked up at him as he still had his arms wrapped around her comfortingly.  “Can we cuddle?”

William smiled down at her.  “I even brought a proper change of clothes this time.”

They made their way into her bedroom, William bringing his bag with him.  They changed into their pyjamas.  Minerva was already rolled up in her cat bed, but when she saw them, she meowed and jumped on the bed.  As Aberdeen looked at William move about the room, she realized that she felt so comfortable already, so at home in her bedroom that he moved around without any hesitation.  He even pulled back the covers himself, knowing she wouldn’t mind, and got in first, holding the covers up for her to get in.  Minerva ended up curling up at his feet.  Even her damn cat couldn’t get enough of him.  

She stood hesitantly.  She stared at him.  “Just cuddling.”

William stared back at her.  He nodded his head like it was the most obvious thing in the world.  “Just cuddling.”

She got in.  William draped the comforter over her and they got comfortable.  Almost immediately, she melted into his touch as he wrapped his arms around her, his big body engulfing hers just the way she liked it.  She didn’t think she’d ever get tired of it.  They closed their eyes and settled into a comfortable silence briefly.  “I’ve never even seen your place before…” Aberdeen thought out loud.  They’d only ever met up at her place.

“It’s your typical place,” he said.  “Kitchen, bedroom, whatever.  I haven’t bought a place here yet so nothing is really my own.  I’ve got a bigger bed,” he joked.

“Everybody has a bigger bed than I do.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he dismissed it.  She felt his lips on her neck as he kissed her tenderly.  “I like cuddling.”

***

January 21st, 2020

Aberdeen had spent the last three days alone writing.  

Kasha had gone on a last-minute trip to Aruba with her dad, so Aberdeen took the time in solitude with Minerva to write anything and everything that came to her mind.  A lot of it was about the last six months.  Not about her illicit love affair with William, but more important things: growing up, facing the truth about yourself, getting your first ‘big girl’ job and having to survive in a male-dominated environment.  More than anything, Aberdeen liked to think it was about the overarching and universal truths people in their early 20s had once they left university and entered the real world, where things were tricky and few people were nice and there was almost always an overwhelming sense of ‘What the fuck am I doing?’.  

William had gone to Augusta, Georgia, to golf with some of the boys.  He’d texted her when he got there, plus some photos of the golf course and some selfies he snuck while the other guys teed off.  She mostly sent him back pictures of her laptop with a Word document open, or pictures of Minerva sprawled out on her bed or couch.  At night they’d keep up a conversation, when he wasn’t on the course.  She wondered if any of the guys wondered who he kept texting all time, or if he was able to keep in discreet.

She missed him.

She hated to admit it, but she did.  She missed his stupid blonde hair and his stupid scruffy beard and his stupid thick body and his stupid tender touch and his stupid laugh that was like Beethoven’s 5th Symphony to her stupid ears.  She missed cuddling with him.  She missed seeing him at the rink.  She missed everything about him even though she shouldn’t.  

When she finished editing one of her personal essays, she decided to call it a night.  As she cleaned up the kitchen, putting the last of her dishes in the dishwasher, there was a knock at her door.  She paused briefly because she wasn’t expecting anyone.  

She looked through the peephole, only to see William in one of his absolutely stellar (read: awful) casual traveling outfits.  She opened the door.  She saw he even still had his suitcase, telling her he came straight from the airport.  

“What are you doing here?” she asked, finding herself moving out of the way for him.  When she shut the door behind him, she ended up with her back against it.

He walked in to her apartment with ease, wheeling in his bag and leaving it by the closet that held the washer and dryer.  “You said Kasha is in Aruba with her dad.”

“Yeah…”

“And it’s the bye-week.  I just got back from Augusta.”

“Yeah…”

“So…that means we can be alone,” he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“You’re really going there, aren’t you?” she asked as she watched him approach her.

“Did you expect anything less?” he asked, so close that now she was trapped between his body and the door.  

She shook her head.  “No.  No I didn’t.”

And then he kissed her.  And he couldn’t stop.  And she kissed him.  And she couldn’t stop.  And he pinned her against the door, his knee going between her legs as he raised her hands above her head briefly before bringing his own hands down so he could pick her up.  She stuck her tongue down his throat.  He squeezed her ass.  She wrapped his legs around him.  

He sighed contently, as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.  “God I miss you so much,” he mumbled against her lips.  

“Me too,” she admitted out loud as he bit down on the skin of her neck.  

“Bedroom?” he asked quickly.

Aberdeen should have said no.  Should have.  But instead, she nodded her head.  

***

January 22nd, 2020

The notebook was wide open on the coffee table in the living room, a blue Muji pen in the spine, the bookmark ribbons sprawled out.  It was the only thing on the table besides a giant three-wick candle.  William knew he shouldn’t look at it.  It was the middle of the night, for heaven’s sake.  But as he drank his glass of water, he became more and more curious as to the contents.  The pages seemed full of beautiful cursive.

So he sat down on the couch.  He picked up the notebook.

Maple Leaf Forever

The job interview went horribly.  I was sure I’d offended Brendan Shanahan, president of the Toronto Maple Leafs.  To make matters worse, the outgoing executive assistant told me, before I entered his office, that I was deeply unqualified for the job.  I didn’t watch hockey; I had no clue who Mats Sundin was.  

It came as a shock, then, when Brendan called me back into his office and told me I was his new assistant.  

William read on, completely enamoured with the words he was reading on the page.  He flipped through the notebook and read the entire personal essay.  Then he flipped backwards to the previous piece she wrote, and read that too.  He saw the scribbles and the crossing out of entire lines and paragraphs.  He saw planned out notes.  He saw poetry.

Sometimes William looks at me like he’s the spoon and I’m the dish of ice cream.  I wonder if he sees that, in my weak moments, I look at him the same way……….

I’ve gotten used to the sounds of the blades scratching the ice.  Quickly, it has become one of my favourite sounds……….

I am a daughter of immigrants. I am a granddaughter of the Iranian Revolution. I am a daughter of The Troubles. Revolution and change course through my veins……….

He saw and read so much of her writing that he felt like he knew her so much more now.  There were so many things about her, so many things in her mind, that she hadn’t told him yet; so many things he longed to learn so he could know her fully and completely.  He didn’t want to know surface-level Aberdeen – he knew that Aberdeen already.  He wanted to know what was inside Aberdeen.  The deeper parts of her.  The parts that he could love more.  The parts that would make him even more hopelessly in love with her.

No wonder she was already published in those two literary journals.  And no wonder she wanted to be a writer.  She was a great writer.  She had a way with words.  He couldn’t believe that after sending out her work everywhere, nobody chose to publish it.  They were stupid.  She was fantastic.  

And he wasn’t just saying that because he was in love with her.

***

January 23rd, 2020

“Have you ever thought about sending your stuff to Toronto Life magazine?”

William asked the question as he sat opposite of Aberdeen in her bathtub.  Their bodies were submerged, a bath bomb thrown in, and everything was quiet.  Everything.  The only sounds made were the slight splashes of water if they moved a hand or if William grabbed at her leg.  They had been staring at each other for a while, the heat of the water still soothing them and their bodies. 

Aberdeen stared at him.  “Of course I have.”

“Have…have you already?” he asked timidly, not wanting to bring it up in case she did and they rejected her.

“No,” she said.  He was relieved.  “Their writing is, like, top tier.  I don’t think I’m there yet.  Even the personal essay submissions they have in the back of the magazine are phenomenal.  The stories are amazing.  I don’t think anybody wants to hear from a 21 year old single white female.”

“But your voice is so amazing,” he said without thinking.

“How would you know?  You’ve never read my writing.”

There was a silence between them.  He knew he couldn’t tell her that he’d read her writing when she was asleep after they’d had sex.  He also knew he couldn’t lie to her, not while they were in the tub together during such an intimate moment, and not ever.  “Come here,” he said.  She hesitated.  “Come on.  Come here.”

Aberdeen shifted in her bathtub slowly, so no water would spill out, and moved so that she was cuddled against William now, her back against his chest.  She felt his strong arms wrap around her, one right beneath her breasts, the other dangerously close to her core.  If the hot water hadn’t relaxed her enough, his hands on her breast and near her core definitely did.  She sighed happily as she felt him massage her breast and pinch her nipple.  She felt his cheek against the crown of her head before her tucked his face into the crook of her neck, giving her a light kiss on her shoulder.  “I never want you thinking that your writing isn’t good enough to be submitted somewhere.  You should be submitting it everywhere.  Everything you write,” he whispered softly.

“But Willy, you’ve never—”

“Listen,” he cut her off gently.  “I saw one of your notebooks on the coffee table the other night, and I couldn’t help myself.  I’m sorry.  But you’re good, Aberdeen.  You’re really good.  You write and it just flows, and I…I don’t know how to explain it in any other way, because I’m not as good as you, I’m not good with words and speaking and stuff, but it was amazing.”

Aberdeen stayed silent.  William was nervous, having admitted to snooping and reading her writing – at least some of it – but the fact that her body didn’t stiffen when he did admit it gave him a glimmer of hope.  Then again, she could just have been processing it and getting ready to throw him out of her apartment naked with his clothes thrown out the window.  When she finally spoke, she said something William wasn’t expecting.  “I just don’t think anybody would want to hear what I have to say.”

He shook his head, giving her another kiss on her shoulder.  “I think everybody should hear what you have to say.”

“You’re just saying that cause you’re feeling me up right now,” she said, a hint of laughter in her voice.

William smiled.  “Am not.  You’re so good, Aberdeen.  Fuck anybody who has ever told you otherwise.”

Aberdeen knew what he meant by that.  She knew he didn’t mean fuck the editors or the copywriters – they were just doing their job.  What he was saying instead was fuck any person in her life that told her she couldn’t make a career out of writing.  Fuck Zane.  Fuck Corey.  Fuck any other guy who made her feel horrible about herself, who belittled her ambitions, who thought she should pursue something different.  Fuck them all.  She craned her neck to look back at him, and brought her hand up to caress his face as she kissed him.  “I can read you some more when we get out of here,” she whispered, her lips still close to his.  “If you want.”

“I’d love that.”

***

“More.”

William stared directly into Aberdeen’s eyes as they cuddled on her couch.  “More?” she questioned.

“More,” he affirmed.  She began reading her writing again.

***

“More.”

Aberdeen hooked her leg around his waist as they lay in her bed together.  “More?” she questioned.

“More,” he affirmed.  She began to read her writing again.

***

“More.”

William looked up at Aberdeen as she straddled him.  Pants firmly on.  He just wanted to sit this way.  He was intensely comfortable with her on top of him.  She didn’t seem to mind either, especially since his hands found her thighs.  

“If I read you any more, I’m going to have to start taking out my high school diaries,” she joked.

“Then do it,” he squeezed her thighs and dragged his hands up to her hips.  “I want more.”

“Willyyyyy…” she dragged his name out, the smile still on her face as she bent down to give him a kiss.  Her old notebook from university was between their bodies.

“More,” he mumbled against her lips.  He genuine wanted to hear more, but he couldn’t stop kissing her.  He could feel the old notebook press against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her, and could hear it fall to the floor as he moved to pin her underneath him.

***

January 24th, 2020

“It’s going to be fun.  I promise,” William said as he peppered Aberdeen’s face with kisses, unable to let her go just yet even though their shoes were on and their bags were packed, the early morning sun peeking through the windows of her apartment.  “You’re going to meet so many cool people.”

Aberdeen sighed.  She knew this was an amazing opportunity, and she was going to take full advantage of it, but she wanted just a bit more time with William.  All they had done over the past three days was eat good takeout and have great sex.  Oh, and read her writing, of course.  It quickly became her favourite three days of the break – so much so that she didn’t want it to end.  Whenever she was with William, she didn’t want to be brought back down to reality, back down to face the fact that what they were doing was wrong.

“You just gotta promise some other guy doesn’t whisk you away to another team,” William added.

Aberdeen giggled.  “Please.  Like that would ever happen.”

“I don’t know, minskatt.  You’re really cute.  I might have to ask Auston or Fred to keep an eye on the other guys.”

She chuckled, burying her head into his chest.  She couldn’t let go of him either.  She didn’t want to – at least not yet.  “Are you gonna miss me?”

William didn’t even answer.  Instead, he leaned down and gave her a long, drawn out kiss, one that made her sigh into his mouth and left her begging for more.  It answered the question for her.  He watched as she licked her lips.  “You’ll be in Nashville?” he asked.  She nodded.  “Dallas?” he asked.  She nodded again.  “Can I come see you after the game?” he asked one more time.

She knew that meant he wanted to come to her hotel room.  He’d snuck in quite easily before, obviously, and nobody had suspected anything, but they still had to be extremely careful.  “We’ll see,” she said, not wanting to confirm or deny.  For all she knew she’d have a room next to Brendan.  

William accepted what she was prepared to give him.  “We’ll see.”

She looked down at her watch.  Brendan and Lou were supposed to be there any minute.  In less than six hours she’d be in St. Louis, and in just less than twelve she’d be watching the Skills Competition.  “I should start heading down,” she said, even though she was reluctant to do so.  “Remember to wait until I text to come down and leave.”

“Do you have to go?” he asked sheepishly.  

She smiled.  She stood up on her tiptoes and kissed him one last time, giving him the same long, drawn out kiss he’d just given her.  “Bye Willy.”

William bit his lip.  “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He smiled.  It wasn’t just a one-off.  “Bye minskatt.”

“Don’t miss me too much,” she said as she opened the door to her condo.  

He was holding on to her hand until it was too far away for him to grasp.  “Impossible.”

[a-shakespearean-in-paris]

I was in a toxic friendship

I want to preface this by saying I am so much happier right now and I am no longer friends with this person. Haven’t seen or heard from her in over a year. I also want to be clear this was a friendship I had in real life, not tumblr. I think however this story’s lessons can be applicable across the board to online friendships and even relationships with family members. Please, if you ever feel belittled by your “friends,” and you bring it up to them and they brush it aside and think you’re overreacting, it’s not a friendship. 

I was friends with this person, let’s call her Stacy, for about ten years before I realized I no longer wanted to speak to her or be her friend. I met her in the ninth grade and we bonded over Disney World and other things and I could talk to her about anything, including this huge crush I had on a twelfth grade boy. She came over to my house sometimes, though not a lot, and as high school wore on we started going to the mall together, stuff like that. I went to college in a different city and she came to visit me sometimes, and we even worked at the same theme park, though different departments. For all intents and purposes this was my best friend, though Stacey got upset when I also called my cousin my best friend, even though she spoke of her sister as her best friend.

She got a boyfriend when we were both around 21/22 or so, I think we were both juniors in college, though she took a semester off because she hated school and thought it was weird I was a double major. She told me her boyfriend was thirty and she met him at work. I thought the age gap was a little big, but I wasn’t one to judge. Later on I found out he was 36 and she told me she lied because she was worried how I would react. I met him and I thought he was nice, but when she got engaged when we were both around 23, I had only met him that one time for a birthday dinner she had, and my mom and dad told me they thought it was kind of strange. They also said it was weird to them whenever I hung out with Stacey it was only for like an hour, two at most, especially since my cousin and I could spend days and day together at sleepovers, chilling and being ourselves, interpretative dancing, lol. Privately I also found it odd I could talk to Stacey about anything, but when I asked questions about her life and her thoughts she’d barely talk. Her grandma passed away, she loved visiting my grandma because she could have one through me. One day I broke down and admitted my grandmother is a narcissist, and she is different behind closed doors. she berates me, used to call me fat, berated me. Stacey didn’t believe me. I can’t say when she started not being such a good presence in my life, but these were some seeds, and it got worse--slow at once and then all at once as they say.

Anyway, I was a bridesmaid of hers and her sister was the maid of honor--a mutual friend was another bridesmaid and there was one more (super sweet girl and I don’t even think Stacy talks with her much anymore either LMAO) and at this point in my life I was really into my first fanfic IWD. I was consumed with it, to put it bluntly. This is another story entirely but I spent so much of my college career as an English major writing for academia, and when I was finally writing something for me, I bloomed. I talked to her about it and she kind of laughed about this Cullen person but she liked to read fanfic herself so was whatever about me doing it. I shared with her my first piece of commissioned art and she laughed at Lydia thinking Lydia was just me, and I told her, no, she wasn’t, she’s based off of several old hollywood ladies and I actually made her avatar in game, but she wouldn’t believe it. I actually ended up saying “would you think this if I were white and she were white as well” and she laughed and didn’t understand. Needless to say the whole incident rubbed me the wrong way. I ignored it. Her wedding happened, her sister made a good speech, then when all the groomsmen did a speech for the groom the other Bridesmaids and I thought we had to do something, so we got up there and made an impromptu speech. I called her my sister and I told her I loved her. I didn’t know it then, but I didn’t believe her when she said “love you too.”

I wanted to go back to school, and I ended up in a Masters program after the wedding. My summer semester, my first, went well, starting in June and ending in July. I finished IWD and went to another fic, Stacey making fun of Sophie, my OC for that fic too, because I just straight up made her part Hawaiian like I am. When I told her I had little representation growing up other than like Lilo and Stitch and now Moana, (which I don’t like TBH but another story lol.) she asked me what the big deal was about that. Why did it matter that no main character ever looked as I looked? I couldn’t explain to her how much writing a character who was like me in a fanfic mattered. We planned on going to Disney World, me, her, her sister, and the other bridesmaid, but don’t post anything on facebook because she didn’t want to invite the other other bridesmaid. I wanted to go to a nightclub with her for my birthday but she didn’t want to go because her sister couldn’t enter, so after my whole family, plus her and her husband ate at my favorite restaurant, she went home even after I begged her to come with my and my cousin. She said it was stupid. Also, her husband was a huge ass to wait staff. Alarm bells went off for all of us.

But I was looking forward to Disney in December that year. (2018) I didn’t have a job at the time but was actively looking. Well, I got a job after interview after interview at restaurants that wouldn’t hire me, my dream job researching Shakespeare. It fell through. (I was promised to actively help the professor research, it fell through.) She paid for the trip without me knowing and I had to pay her back 800 dollars on writing commissions which I severely underpriced. because I was worried no one would pay otherwise. School wasn’t going well. Put it simply I felt really dumb and stupid and like I didn’t belong, (we were reading Ulysses!!!) which I later learned was a common sentiment with my classmates who began the same time as I. I will admit my relationship with academia is rocky at the moment, but I genuinely do love to write, love to research, love to make discoveries about new texts. Stacey saw how stressed I was and sad and got angry I was so sad, and asked why was I in school anyway Am I going to be on my deathbed and wished I studied harder? I didn’t have the energy to tell her it wasn’t about “studying harder,” it was that I loved writing and reading and wanted to be a part of academia. Learning makes me happy, expanding my mind. She belittled me anyway, thinking getting a Masters was dumb and I wouldn’t get a good job.

At Disney World I was so happy. I hadn’t been there since I was a child. She made fun of me for wanting to meet Ariel, for wanting to ride Soaring and being afraid to check grades when a classmate said they were up. I got so stressed I cried at the Japan pavilion at Epcot and stress ate sauerbraten at the Germany pavilion (Amazing by the way, I love German food.) She basically dictated the entire trip--we went to Universal for Harry Potter World at her request and refused to ride the spider man ride with me (it was fucking fun too-girl missed out.) All she wanted to do was stand around in Harry Potter world all day, (LOL now right?) I wasn’t that big of a Potter fan anymore, even at that point, and she told me I was going to stay there anyway and like it. She dictated the entire trip and when I questioned her about it she said I wasn’t listening to to her--we were following the agenda. Our last day there we went to a “Hawaiian” restaurant and made a comment about my “Hawaiian privileges.” I just didn’t have the heart to tell her that the crap we ate didn’t hold a candle to real Hawaiian luau food.

When we got back I was mentally drained and melancholic because I wondered why Stacey was so cruel to me. She always had a biting wit, but before it seemed playful. Now it was cruel, mocking. She made me feel so incredibly stupid. At this point my cousin got engaged and I cried because I wanted so badly to be in love with someone and get married. I was angry and I lashed out at people I shouldn’t have. I was later diagnosed as depressed. I felt like my life was at a standstill and matters with Stacey didn’t help. I also had a huge writing crisis--I told Stacey something I will always remember and always regret because she doesn’t deserve to know: I write the romances I want because no man wants me.  At this point, Stacy turned me into her project. She didn’t like how sad I was at Disney World, it put a bummer on her trip, and when I told her she seemed off she brushed it off. Her plan was to get me on dating apps and basically settle for anyone, even though I had used apps before and don’t like them, but when I got back on Bumble she basically patronized me and told me she was proud of me and “small steps.” On bumble, I wanted to vomit. (for the record, I am not against dating apps, I know success stories, but at that time I was not emotionally ready to date.) Also, she would teach me to drive so I could go on dates, but only in my Dad’s truck. 

I wish I could say I broke it off, that I told her not to talk to me again, but Stacey stopped talking to me first. However. the day she stopped was when I told her she was wrong and I wouldn’t listen to this anymore. What happened? I mentioned I was demisexual.  She said it wasn’t real. I said it was real to me--I don’t experience sexual attraction unless I have bonded with someone. Sure there are people I like to look at, but it’s not a sexual attraction. She asked about my crush on Tom Hiddleston, Cullen, “that robot guy” and was like yeah you’re sure demi, and lol it’s not real. It wasn’t just her words, it was the mocking indifference. 

I went off. I told her she didn’t have the right to tell me what was in my brain or how I felt. I knew who I was and who I am. I should have also told her I wasn’t her project, but I left her that day and it was the last time I saw her.

I talked to my dad that night and mentioned it to him, being demi, and you know what he told me? I think I’m the same way. I think I almost cried. 

I tried to talk to her again but she didn’t want to see me. She had “personal issues and was busy” I pissed her off. Good, I say now. But after this happened in March of 2019 I thought I had no friends. She was my only friend, and I lost another mutual friend (one we went to Disney with) because she knew Stacey longer than she knew me. But you know what happened in April? My cousin asked me to be her maid of honor and I fucking wept, because there was my best friend--my sister all along. Just because she lives in another city and we are growing up and it took me longer to figure out my career than her doesn’t change the fact that we have a bond that can’t be broken. My cousin is one of my favorite people and if you know her you love her--it is impossible not to. And when I told her about my fanfic and about being demi she wanted to know, wanted to listen. School got better too--I started chatting in class more and come to find out, one of my classmates also broke up with a toxic friend. God I love her and I miss her--wish I could see her. (thanks COVID) 

There was more, but this was a lot, and I spent more time writing this than I thought I would. I wanted to write it because seeing a few posts float around made me remember, and I want ya’ll to know, leaving a friendship is scary. Sometimes it can be worse than leaving a lover. But it is a brave thing to do. Part of me that knew I should have left at the first racist comment (oh yeah, she called me a pineapple one day before the Disney trip, did I mention it’s a slur for Hawaiian people? If my grandma were there she would have clobbed her.) but I stayed because I didn’t think I had any other friends. Well, I did and I do, and I know now friends lift each other up, not belittle or talk behind your back. They listen to me when I talk about how important my writing and my characters are to me. 

Sometimes I still miss her--but mostly the high school her that I knew before she met her husband. I don’t know if he changed her or this was her all along, perhaps both. I got fired from a job in November 2019 (which now I’d like to thank them because I got a better and more fulfilling job with a boss that respects me.) and when I cried outside the place, humiliated, I wanted to call her and vent like I used to. I didn’t. Now I don’t want to call her anymore or talk to her. I’d rather spend time with people who care, people who don’t kick me when I’m down. Since then I am so much stronger, in so many ways. The worst times in my life yielded the greatest lessons I have ever learned. 

If you made it this far, thank you. I did tear up a little writing this, but please know: it can be hard to walk a new path, but it is brave. You are brave. You don’t deserve to be belittled *hugs*

[pi-cat000]

MSA: Take Back The Future (part 3)

Summary: Vivi and Arthur travel back in time to the beginning of Hellbent. Neither of them are okay. 

(Part 1) (Part 2)

.

Mystery, instead of answering Vivi’s questions, leaps over the seat dividing the front and back areas of the van, exiting out the back doors.

“Wait, ” Vivi yells after Mystery, “get to back here and explain what happened to my memories.”

/It is not a tale that can be simply told. Not right now when we may be in danger/

Arthur thinks kitsune turned dog sounds slightly strained but it’s hard to really tell with Mystery’s weird telepathy. When the meaning of words are projected right into your brain some of the nuance is lost.

“Who is Shiromori? Why is she attacking us?” Vivi tries, following to glare at Mystery who circles the van, barely paying attention to the two of them. “Just answer one question!”

His mechanical arm twitches of its own accord and he eyes it nervously.  To hell with it. Arthur frees his hand and begins to feel about for the quick release lever hidden under a panel on his upper arm. After the van crash and almost getting thrown to his death, the arm had been too banged up to safely remove, jamming in place.  Best to be rid of it now, before everything when to shit all over again.

The sound of his heavy metal arm hitting the ashfelt draws Vivi’s attention and she turns to give him a quizzical expression.

“Better off then on,” He explains, “Wasn’t really working that well anyway. Hopefully, that’ll get rid of the curse as well.” Honestly, this cruse is the least of his worries.

Vivi exhales and Arthur can see the stress pinching her mouth, pulling it down into an uncharacteristic frown, “If the curse is specifically attached to your arm then removing it might work. On the other hand, if it’s anything like the one that got my memories then who the hell knows what will work. I certainly don’t. Apparently, I don’t know a lot of things.”

The last sentence is louder, directed at Mystery. There is no response from the dog who is staring off into the middle distance, head to one side like he is listening intently for something.  Arthur offers Vivj an uneasy shrug. He has his own questions for Mystery regarding Vivi’s memories, his arm, and the night they both went missing. However, his most recent run-in with dead-Lewis has him quickly reordering his priorities. None of the answers are going to mean much if he’s dead. Again…

Speaking of which… On the horizon, a purple light flares, glowing brightly against the dark backdrop. Arthur’s mouth goes suddenly dry and limbs feel very cold. Yeah, that seamed about right…

/You called this spirit Lewis?/ Mystery turns his head to examine him, expression troubled. /Are you sure?/  

He gives a short nod, eyes darting from Mystery then back to the road. It looks like Mystery is planning something based on how his fur is glowing red. He’d seen a similar red glow on the night of Lewis’s disappearance and during the confrontation outside his Uncle’s workshop. How much did Mystery know about Lewis? The question sticks in his mind, painfully heavy.

“Lewis? You mean the purple fire ghost? The one that caused the van crash?” Vivi steps up next to him, eyes locked onto the truck which grows quickly larger, “How are we going to stop it from running us all over?”

It’s too late to try a drive or run away now. Even if he decides to run there is a steep rocky slope on one side and a sharp climb on the other. If he did make it down by some miracle there was just flat desert and no cover for miles. Arthur doesn’t voice this observation instead commenting in a voice several octaves higher than normal, “I don’t think you need to worry about the ghost running you over. I’m pretty sure he’s only after me. So…ah…maybe don’t stand near me?”

Why? Why was Lewis trying to hurt him? In his mind’s eye, Lewis and Mystery meld together into a nightmare inferno of fire, teeth and death.

“I don’t want you to get run over either.” Vivi’s voice sounds faint, coming to him like it has travelled a great distance. Too much fear packed into too short a timeframe is making it harder and harder to concentrate. The ice at her feet thickens into long sheets, which creep out over the road, freezing it solid. He is probably lucky his remaining arm hasn’t frozen off with how tight Vivi had been holding it. Maybe if he turns into a giant Arthur icicle and he can sit this whole thing out. The hysterical thought momentarily breaks through his mounting panic.  

/Wait./

Arthur can almost hear the crackle of fire and the hum of the truck's engine.

/ You should not be drawing on so much of this power at once! You’ll damage the seal further!/

“I’m not letting Arthur die again. Anything comes near us and I’ll make whoever it is, regret it… that includes you.”

Vivi steps out so she is positioned in the centre of the road.

/I can handle this confrontation. There are still many aspects to the situation that you remain unaware of./

“And how am I supposed to fix that if you won’t tell me anything.”

/ I swear I will explain when there is more time. I only ever wanted to protect you./

“I don’t believe you.”

Vivi snaps the final sentence and punctuates it with a sharp hand gesture aimed at the oncoming truck. Several lines of ice stretch out and down the road, racing away from Vivi to meet the oncoming vehicle. Shining an ethereal blue, the frost coats the road’s surface, smoothing it over. Arthur catches the briefest glimpse of skeletal Lewis before the truck hits the ice sheets and the wheels suddenly lose traction.  The sound of metal crunching is deafening, accompanied by the hiss of water abruptly vaporising. Heat and cold collide in a cacophony cracking ice and explosion of steam.

A flash of bright purple fire. Mystery disappears, obscured by the thick columns of steam. He finds himself being yanked to the side by Vivi just in time to watch the purple truck careen past in a shower of sparks and groaning metal. At such high speeds, it rams straight into and through the guardrails separating the road from the rocky slope. Stunned, Arthur watches it disappear over the edge. If Lewis hadn’t already been dead then Arthur might have been worried. The sound of banging and crashing, as the truck presumably roles several times, has him physically wincing. Scratch that, he was worried. Very worried. Worried enough that it overtakes his mental panic and replaces it with deep concern. How durable were ghosts? He doesn’t know and that scares him. 

“Vivi! What the hell,” He finally manages to spit out, breaking his panic-induced stupor. He tries to rush past her, intent on checking for any signs of Lewis. He promptly slips. The combination of ice and his lack of a second arm throws off his balance and he ends up falling backward. He is saved from a collision with the ground by Vivi who seemed to now have supernatural levels of balance and was unaffected by the slippery surface.

“I …wow. That was… something.” Vivi breaths, examining the road still covered in planes of ice as if not quite believing it.

“Help me to the edge,” He interrupts, trying and failing to stand straight collapsing back on her, “I need to see if he’s okay,”

“Who’s okay? The ghost?"

“Yes.”

"You want to see if the ghost is okay? You said it was trying to hurt you?”

Arthur can practically see the concern and confusion now hanging over Vivi as she looks down from where she's holding him up by his one good arm.

“It’s just…a misunderstanding or something. I…we…might know this ghost.”

“What?”

“Just help me check.” He motions with his remaining arm. Visible through the plums of steam are thicker lines of darkened smoke coming from the space where the truck had disappeared.

....

Note: I’m Sorry to everyone who’s showed interest in this AU but i’m not sure if i’ll continue this since i’ve lost motivation.  Here are some of the more coherent plot notes if people are interested in this AU. Feel free to ask questions if u have any :) . 

...

-   Shiromori shows up directly after Lewis’s crash, distracting Mystery. With all the steam obscuring their vision Arthur and Vivi don’t realise that Shiromori has arrived immediately, and there is enough time to briefly look for Lewis. 

- Lewis makes it out of the truck crash only slightly worse for wear and tries to attack Arthur. Vivi moves to defend Arthur, then Arthur has to defend Lewis and it’s all very awkward for everyone. 

- Lewis sees how scared Arthur is a reconsiders his revenge plot, hesitating long enough to get some dialogue in. 

 - Arthur finally gives Vivi a brief Lewis overview (sans the whole ‘he almost threw me off a fake cliff thing’). Vivi is suspicious and somewhat unconvinced. Lewis is slightly confused when Vivi starts referring to the alternate time line. 

- Not time for further discussion because Mystery is fighting Shiromori and, since he had warning this time, he’s winning. 

(fight scene stuff. Vivi rushes in to do something idk this part is not planned.) 

Vivi overused ice abilities. 

Lewis and Arthur have a moment alone. 

Vivi, slightly untrusting of Mystery, ends up stepping to stop the two from fighting. (Vivi ends up saving  Shiromori maybe??? a parallel  to the original timeline). A dramatic moment where Vivi rushes in ( maybe takes a blow for Shiromori idk would depend on Shiromori’s backstory) and ends up injured. 

- ??? makes an appearance, takes over Vivi instead of Mystery. 

Some background world building stuff

- Vivi’s ice powers might become unsealed and she is vulnerable to ??? (spiritual energy is damaging to humans if too much is used at once or if is not used correctly)

- Yukino family are spiritual channels making them both more powerful and more vulnerable. Mystery holds a seal to the ability and it eats up a tails worth of power to maintain. Same deal with Shiromori, Mystery holds a seal to keep her fully realised abilities in check which also eats up a lot of power.

- The seal is damaged when Mystery is hurt

- Arthur is unaffected by the ice because he’s got some odd time based supernatural power which has bonded to vivi spiritual signtaure as well. This is the reason ??? want to possess Arthur. One possible resolution was for Arthur to figure out how to rewind time to the seconds before Vivi gets possessed, giving her a chance to defeat ???. It takes a lot of power which Lewis ends up giving to him. 

[re-diesirae]

Chapter 4

1. Claire

Her head hurt like hell. That was the first thought that crossed Claire's mind as she regained her senses. Her surroundings were dark, and she felt the unfamiliar rocky ground under her hand.

"Great," Claire sighed, grabbing her head and feeling a little dizzy, "Why do I always end up in these places?"

The auburn headed looked around, ignoring the dizziness and the need to throw up that she was feeling. It was dark, damp, and for what she could tell, it looked like she was in some cave or tunnel. Claire sat up, resting her back against a near wall. It took her some minutes to put her thoughts back in order. Her memories were chaotic. She remembered fighting with some unknown men in the Command Room, and then, she had a blackout. Her last memories were of Leon, fire, pain, and a lot of noise. Wait, Leon?

"Leon?" she asked, trying to stand up.

There was no answer, and Claire looked around, concerned. She was sure she'd seen Leon. He had been with her before, and his current absence made Claire worry.

She tried to stand up so that she could search the area for her friend, but a wave of dizziness staggered her. The bastards had probably hit her head, and she'd not be surprised if she had a concussion. She needed to recover a little before she could think of moving.

"Leon? Are you there?" she called into the darkness, but no answer again.

He is an agent. He is going to be alright.

Claire took a deep breath, letting the oxygen fill her lungs and reach her head. The headache was annoying, but she could handle it. The pain wasn't enough to hinder her. She took some minutes to calm down and clear her head as much as she could.

"Fantastic," Claire sighed, "knowing my luck, I am probably in another experimental facility. I'll need a weapon if that's the case."

It took her some more minutes to be able to see. Her vision was still slightly blurry, but it was enough for her to move without issues.

Claire navigated herself through the darkness, using the wall as a guide. The terrain wasn't friendly to navigate, especially in the dark. Claire stumbled several times on the uneven ground; the last thing she needed now was to fall and damage her head even more.

It was too quiet for her taste, silent as death, and in her experience, dead things rarely stayed like that in these circumstances.

I am technically useless right now.

Claire wasn't in the best of shapes. Her vision was unreliable, her movements were slow and clumsy due to her headache, even her balance was giving her problems, and to top all that, she was weaponless. Her only hope was that there wouldn't be any enemies on her way out of the tunnel. She tried calling for Leon a couple of times, but the lack of replies made her assume that the agent was not anywhere around.

She knew Leon. If he were there, he'd find his way and meet her, eventually.

"Well, at least I'll get some friendly company," she sighed, "but first things first. I need to get out of here."

Claire's sight was getting used to the dark, but her dizziness was complicating things in many ways. Suddenly, Claire heard a loud howl in the distance, and a chill ran down her spine. She hated it when she was right; her hopes of having an easy way out crumbled in seconds. There was something in there, most likely a mutant monster, ready to tear her into pieces at any possible chance. A fight was unavoidable, but if she had to fight, she hoped to have at least a chance to defend herself, and to do that, she needed a weapon.

Claire rushed her pace, hoping that she was on the right track. After some stressing moments of silences and darkness, the tunnel finally opened up, and she caught the smell of grass and damp soil. She had made it outside. The fresh air and the view of the sky sparkled with stars made her feel better both physically and mentally.

"Right, this isn't time to feel relieved," Claire admonished herself. "I am still unarmed, lost, and most likely surrounded by vicious foes. I need to move."

Claire looked around here. At least, the light from the stars and moon allowed her a better look at her surroundings. Judging by the appearance of the sky, Claire could tell she had to be somewhere very far from the city. The sky looked beautiful, and that could only mean that the light pollution in the place was minimal.

After scanning around her for a bit, she noticed some lights in the distance. There were insignificant, and Claire guessed that it had to be a village or a small town. If her situation were like her previous misadventures, the place would probably be crawling with undead things, and god knew what other mutants. In other words, heading to a human settlement in her current situation screamed "bad idea" in capital letters. However, just like the place was the best place to find nasty creatures, it was also a place where she would most likely find weapons and other useful things.

It was a dangerous bet for all she cared, she had little to lose, and besides, it wasn't the first time she'd found herself in a place infested by zombie-mutant creatures.

The young woman found a trail that, she guessed, would lead to the settlement and followed it cautiously. She walked for some minutes, and she, surprisingly, didn't encounter any foes. However, she wasn't entirely sure of whether that was good or bad.

"No monsters," Claire said, frowning with distrust, "Now, I call that suspicious."

Claire had dealt with enough zombie outbreaks already to know that zombies were never quiet. A town hit by a virus meant lots of infected people, and lots of infected people meant lots of hostiles.

"Why is it so empty?" Claire asked softly.

Looks can be deceiving.

Claire made her way into town cautiously. Just because there were no monsters in sight didn't mean they weren't nearby. She reached town after some minutes of walking through the vegetation. Her walk gave her a chance to do some recognizance of her surroundings.

Claire entered town cautiously, and as soon as she had set a step there, a stinging pain pierced through her skull, causing her to hive. The ache brought a series of disjointed and blurred visions that Claire quickly associated with her nightmares.

"Ag," she groaned, "why am I getting flashbacks from that damn place right now?"

The village was different from the one Sushestvivanie, so she wasn't sure what had triggered the memories.

Claire looked around her. Unlike the Russian town, which had looked like no one had lived in it for ages, this village still looked lived in despite the lack of population.

"Right, the question now is what happened to the people," Claire muttered, "Ok, Claire. Pull yourself together. We need to get weapons."

Claire walked around carefully, peeking inside the house through the windows. The place seemed frozen in time. It was a typical scenario that Claire had gotten used to finding. People must have gotten suddenly infected, and amid the chaos, everyone had abandoned what they were doing without looking back.

Claire sighed with sadness as she searched for supplies amid the chaos inside the houses. The bloodstains she found on several confirmed her fears regarding the locals. Most likely, there were no healthy people left in the place.

Claire found an old hunting rifle in one of the houses, and after searching a little more, she found ammo, a knife, and a sturdy chain. She had no idea if the chain could be useful, but hell, she would take it anyway.

Claire noticed a slight movement from the corner of her eye. It'd been fast, a white blur that she wasn't able to discern.

"Hello?" she said cautiously, "anyone there?"

No answer. Claire's grip on the old rifle tightened. She looked around, almost holding her breath. The complete silence around her made her extremely uneasy. There were no birds, no insects, nothing, which in nature's language only meant one thing. There was a predator nearby.

ROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAR

Claire started to regret her complaints about the lack of noise. That roar was something she wished she had not heard. It sounded distant, so at least Claire might have a chance to avoid the confrontation. She didn't know what waited for her out there and her supplies were not infinite.

"Time to play stealthy," she said, moving out of the house carefully.

Claire reached the street, and to her annoyance, she found her path blocked by unfriendly looking villagers. She made a quick diagnosis on their appearance and quickly concluded that they were not T-virus infected, but they had to have something.

"Alright, not sure I should be happy about that," she said, aiming her rifle at the hostiles and shooting them with perfect aim.

"Purplish-gray skin; dilated, bloodshot eyes and inhuman vocalization," Claire listed, shooting the approaching enemies, "Reasoning still intact."

The hostiles weren't moving randomly. Even though their actions didn't move under intellectual reasoning, there was some thought behind them.

"They still hold some reason," Claire realized."That cuts down the list of possible pathogens..."

She alternated her attacks between gunshots and using the knives. She still wanted to save ammo as much as she could. Surprisingly, handling these guys was being a lot easier than she expected, and that was starting to worry her. For the third time in the day, she hated when she was right.

A howl cut through the air, making Claire shiver. To her horror, she saw how a deformed creature appeared out of nowhere and launched in her direction. She reacted mechanically and jumped out of the street, taking cover behind a pile of wooden boxes.

Claire had never seen any creature like that, but she guessed that this was one of Neo-Umbrella's new toys. The monster was humanoid, but its body was elongated and ghoulish thin. The skin was pale, and part of the tissue was decaying and falling in pieces. Claire noted that aside from an unnatural big mouth, there were no other features on the creature's face.

The creature grabbed a bunch of the villagers with its elongated arms and brought them to its mouth.

Is it eating them? That's new.

The BOWs created from variations of the progenitor virus needed fresh DNA to stabilize. That was the reason why they would attack people and eat them. Usually, the monsters would not feed on fellow creatures. Then again, this guy probably did not mind about freshness, and his only interest was dinner. She'd have to hurry, or she'd end up as dessert.

Taking advantage of the chaos, she dodged the villagers and ran off. Confronting this thing now would only bring her into an early death, and wise people knew when to retreat.

Unfortunately, her escape would not be easy, and she cursed as she sliced the throats of a couple of villagers as she ran past them. Her head was starting to hurt again, and she could tell that the dizziness was coming back.

Her run came to an abrupt stop when another deformed creature appeared in front of her. Once more, it seemed to be a new one monster, but unlike the other one she'd seen, it was smaller and more human-like.

"Oh, come on. Give me a break."

Claire shot the monster a couple of times only to find that, to her dismay, it did nothing. Its decaying skin was sturdier than it looked. Suddenly, a loud growl made her look back, and she groaned. The bigger guy had caught up with her, too, which meant that they had cornered her. Cursing her luck, Claire looked around, trying to come up with a plan. She ran into what seemed to be a storage shack. If she was lucky enough, maybe she could find something useful.

"Fuel tanks," Claire said, looking around her, "Ok, I am not going to ask why they keep this here. Well, this will come in handy, now, how do I use them without killing myself in the process?"

Claire was trying to formulate a plan when the shriek and the sound of wood breaking startled her. The smallest monster had managed to enter the cellar. The creature shook its head as if trying to track its prey.

Shit.

Claire looked around her in a panic. She saw a window nearby, and she made a run to it. The monster chased after her, howling horribly. Claire jumped through the glass, spinning at the last second, and shot her rifle into the closest tank. The result was instantaneous. The barrel exploded, creating a chain reaction of fire and destruction. The wave of the explosion hit Claire directly, and the woman flew a couple of meters into the woods that surrounded the town. She rolled down the hill, hitting her head, face, and limbs against rocks and wood before falling into a ditch filled with plants. The pain in her head had become so strong that she barely had time to realize what had happened before she lost consciousness.

[disgruntledspacedad]

Jay! I am ALWAYS in the mood for some Javi/Ears hcs! Here's a self-indulgent one, because, why not? So both of them bring different strengths to the table, right? Between the two, Ears is definitely the more calm, strategic one whereas Javi is more in-your-face, do things without thinking, type. Do you think that would ever cause any disruption to their relationship? (Have a nice day babes xx)

Broody, post argument Javi regretting all of his life choices ^^

Oh, absolutely.

I’m going to try to be vague here to avoid spoilers, but strangely enough, this becomes more of an issue post-Colombia. At this point in Better Love, Javi and Ears are both in survival mode. And even though they share the same living space, their demanding jobs keep them apart far more than they are together. 

Because of this, Javi and Ears manage to stay in that honeymoon phase of the relationship for much longer than normal. Even little habits that would typically grate become quirks to be treasured. They find solace and much-needed stress release in each other, and because of the inherent danger of life in Colombia, their deep devotion to one another develops far before familiarity can breed contempt.

This is a blessing and a curse. It saves them lots of arguments up front, and in a lot of ways, it progresses and strengthens their bond, but on the other hand, once the dust settles and the mundanity of life kicks in, Javi and Ears are faced with the burning question of, oh fuck, do I actually even know this person at all?

And the answer is, of course! They know each other profoundly. Intimately. They love each other deeply. Irrevocably.

It’s just that the transition is awkward.

Ears is prone to flying off the handle, whereas Javi’s anger simmers. Javi’s Se-Fi means that he is far more capable of holding a grudge than Ears. She tends to get over things just as quickly as she’s bothered by them, but Javi’s emotions run slow and deep, and he has a strong sense of justice that, when crossed, grates at him on a intensely personal level.

Ears finds it easy to let go. Javi tends to hold on.

But funnily enough, after some time to brood and mope, it’s much easier for Javi to apologize than it is for Ears. Usually, he’s the one who comes groveling, and usually, Ears has already forgotten it. 

Javi needs closure. Ears doesn’t always require that, but sometimes, things nag at her for a while before she realizes what the problem actually is, so occasionally, Ears is the one bringing an issue to Javi, sometimes even weeks after Javi thought the disagreement was settled.

Javi learns to accept, and eventually, sometimes anticipate this. Often, he knows Ears better than she knows herself, and he can usually pick up that something’s bothering her before Ears can.

They both need constant challenge and stimulation. They are both intensely physical. They both crave adventure. They both get bored easily. They are both deeply committed to the relationship. They are both open to exploring new ways to keep things fresh, and (surprise!!), after some work, they manage to be pretty willing to discuss where things went wrong. 

So yeah, the change is a little rocky, sure, but that phase doesn’t last forever, and they come out stronger for it.

Regarding thinking versus acting, you’re absolutely right, but I want to expand on this a little bit. Ears is an ENTP. Her Ne-Ti brain makes her excellent at seeing all of the future possibilities and then filtering them through their factual details. When Ears can manage to slow down her mind long enough to focus, she is the queen of long-term strategizing, to the point that her assumptions are often scarily accurate.

However, Ears is an Ne dom. Ne is the function of endless possibility. It’s like ADHD on crack. Ears has decent intuition when she can stop and think, but sometimes, she acts without thinking, and that can get her into trouble. Most of the time, Ears is right, but when she is wrong, she is spectacularly wrong, and unfiltered, her mind generates pure chaos.

Javi is almost the exact opposite. He is an ESFP, with a tendency toward a nasty Ni grip. With Se as his dominant function, Javi lives solely in the moment. He notices everything, takes in every minute detail of his environment, which means that he’s excellent at reacting quickly and thinking on his feet. In an acute crisis, Javier Peña is the guy that you want at your back.

It’s that Ni grip that really sinks him. Ni is the function that infers the most likely future, and because it’s Javi’s inferior function, it tends to hurt him a lot more than it helps him. Javi tends to be a disastrous thinker, focusing on the worst-case scenario and working himself up over it. He’s usually able to detach from this tendency when it comes to work-related stuff, but when it’s personal? All bets are off. Javi’s self loathing, his insecurities, his incessant worrying over Ears, his inability to open up to her, his belief that all of his relationships are doomed to crash and burn spectacularly - all of that stems from this shitty relationship with Ni.

So, to summarize: Ears is the better long range planner, and Javi is at his best when he’s forced to think on his feet - just like you said. :)

In regards to their relationship, this is a really great. In a lot of ways, Ears and Javi balance each other. Their strengths are complimentary, and their weaknesses are covered. Both of them are beyond committed to making things work, and both of them are open to learning and communicating (particularly post If I Fall). 

They are much stronger as a team than they are alone, and it doesn’t take either of them long to realize that. 

[enamoured-x]

Hey lovely! 🥰 could I pretty please request a Sonny Carisi x reader where Sonny is dating a firefighter 👏🏼 maybe an angsty one where she ends up in a hospital? 😅 thanks in advance ❤️

I loved this ask! I hope you like it! (gif not mine)

Your big heart was what drew Sonny to you initially. You were so kind to everyone you met, always eager to help a friend in need, always so selfless. You had met through mutual friends and hit it off immediately. He liked that you were so grounded and you knew exactly what you wanted. He was surprised when you told him that you were a firefighter. He had so much respect for what you went through everyday and he admired your bravery. He just loved everything about you. The first few months of your relationship were a little rocky, you cared for one another deeply so quick and Sonny was trying to navigate how to not drive himself mad with stress each day you headed out for work. He tried to reason that it was no different than when he was a cop but he didn’t know it felt like this. Eventually, you both had a long talk and you helped Sonny through his fears of you getting hurt on the job. You couldn’t help but be a little grateful that he was an ADA now, not a cop anymore. You couldn’t imagine the stress you’d have as well. So you understood where he was coming from. 

It was a regular Tuesday afternoon when Sonny was at the office preparing for trial. The tv was on for background noise and he was barely paying attention. After an hour of looking over papers, his eyes were burning so he leaned back and took a break. He focused on the tv and for a second he couldn’t register what he was seeing. And then he realized what was happening. The news was reporting some explosion. It had seemed that a factory had a gas leak and was now up in flames. For a second he didn’t think about anything else but the people that must have been inside or the people who were injured. He frowned. And then it hit him. There were multiple fire trucks at the scene and his heart dropped into his stomach. He turned up the volume quickly, trying to hear what was happening. But the anchor only had a few details and Sonny became panicked. He tried to remember what you told him to do when he’d get anxious. He slowed his breathing and pictured you coming home to him in a few hours. He’d make you your favorite dish and he’d enjoy dinner with you while talking about your day. You’d both cuddle up on the couch together and watch a movie. He’d then get in bed with you and you’d fall asleep in his arms. He huffed out a breath as he felt calmer now. The tv still hadn’t said anything so he just turned it off. It would only get him worked up again. He went back to his papers and eventually fell back into rhythm. 

Some time had passed before he showed up at the precinct to let the squad know what was happening with the case. It always felt nice to be around them again. They only talked about the case briefly before they were all catching up. Before Sonny knew it, he had been there for an hour. He was about to excuse himself when his phone started ringing. He pulled it out of his suit pocket but didn’t recognize the number. He answered it. He swore he felt the ground fall out from beneath him when the lady on the other line said she was calling from the hospital. When she said your name, he had to hold onto something. And when she let him know you were about to go into surgery, tears welled into his eyes. All he could mutter out was a quick I’m on my way before hanging up and running out of the precinct. He sped like crazy, well as much as he could in traffic. He honestly thought at one point it would have been faster for him to run but after twenty minutes he was finally pulling up to the hospital. 

He then ran again, trying to get to you fast as he could regardless if you were in surgery or not. The front desk lady told him what unit to go to and when he got there they led him to a waiting room. He was greeted by the sight of your whole company waiting around. They were quick to pull him in for a hug, they were family to him because they were family to you. Just as the squad was your family now too. Your captain, Ted, explained that you were helping retrieve people who were still trapped in the building. That’s when a second mini explosion went off and you got hit in the stomach with shrapnel. When Ted was done talking, Sonny excused himself to the bathroom. When he got in, he flung a stall open, and vomited. Tears sprang to his eyes again. He was trying to calm himself down but your technique would not help him right now. This wasn’t a matter of what ifs, this was real, you were hurt. 

When he felt like he finally had enough, he walked to the sink and splashed his face with cold water and rinsed his mouth out. When he returned to the waiting room, he was handed a water bottle by one of your colleagues. He thanked her and went to sit down. He hated this waiting game. He felt defeated. He felt helpless. He had to sit and wait while God knew how the surgery was going. You had just gone in almost forty minutes ago but he was growing impatient. His mind filled with what ifs. You guys had only gotten a year together. It wasn’t enough for him. He wanted more, he wanted a lot more. He wanted to take you on more fancy dates just to see you get all dressed up for him. He wanted to continue taking you to Staten Island to spend Sundays with his family. He wanted to continue to bring you lunch or coffee between his breaks, just to get to see you for a few moments. He wanted to hold you in his arms again and kiss you good morning and good night. And the thought of not being able to do any of those things anymore, well he didn’t think he’d be able to take it. 

It was two hours later when a doctor in scrubs finally came out and asked for your family. Your company stood back and let Sonny take the lead. Sonny quickly got up, wiping his hands on his pants. His heart was beating wildly in his chest, his hands started to shake. 

“We were able to remove the shrapnel from her abdomen. In doing so we–” He didn’t really understand what the doctor was saying anymore. He just needed to know if she was okay. 

“Is she okay?” Sonny interrupted him. The man didn’t seem to mind, probably used to it. 

“She is stable and resting now.” The doctor confirmed. Sonny felt the air whoosh back into his lungs. He choked out a cry.

“Can I see her?” He nodded and led him to the room. The doctor left when Sonny walked in. You had a tube through your nose, your head bandaged, probably for the concussion the doctor told him about. He didn’t realize that it was more than just the hit to the stomach. You had some cuts across your face, along your arms. He swallowed hard before pulling up a chair to your bedside and taking your hand in his. He lifted it up to his lips as tears finally escaped his eyes, sliding down his cheeks.

“Baby, you scared the hell out of me.” He said. You were resting, the doctor said you’d probably be out of it for a while because of the drugs. He didn’t care though. He wasn’t leaving your side and he was still going to talk to you. 

“I saw the explosion on tv and I freaked. But I did what you told me to do. I pictured you coming home to me and it calmed me down right away. And then I got the call and…” He shook as he thought about it. Yes, you were okay and right in front of him but the thought of losing you… The thoughts that plagued his mind during the tortuous two hours he had to wait… It was hard to shake that off. 

“I love you. I love you so much, doll. I’m so glad you’re okay.” He kept pressing kisses to your hand. Then he placed it against his cheek, just wanting to feel you. 

“God, you’re so brave. You amaze me, you really do. Everyday I wake up and I think of how incredibly lucky I am to have gotten you. How lucky I am to know you. How lucky I am to love you.” He laid his head down on the bed and stroked your hand with his thumb. He didn’t realize he dozed off a few moments later, mumbling how much he loved you. 

Your head was pounding when you started to come to. The light was harsh on your eyes as you finally opened them. You had to blink a few times to get used to it. You tried to sit up and immediately regretted the idea as a searing pain shot through your stomach. You remembered what happened, you were awake for all of it. The metal stabbing through you, your team getting you into an ambulance, the doctors rushing you to surgery. You sighed and went to place a hand on the wound when you realized you couldn’t move your hand. You looked down to your left to see that your hand and arm were being held by Sonny. His cheek was pressed against the cot, his soft breathing letting you know he was sleeping. Your heart soared at the sight of him. He was the only thing on your mind when you entered that burning building. He was always on your mind anytime you had to run head first into danger. He was what always kept you fighting to do your job and go home to him. You slowly withdrew your hand from his grasp and moved his hair off his forehead. His usual slicked back look from this morning was gone, instead it had seemed like he had run his hands through it a handful of times. You smoothed out his worry lines with your thumb and then trailed your hand down to cup his cheek. He stirred at the moment and then opened his eyes. Seeing those baby blues were enough to take away any pain, you thought. It took him a second to realize you were awake and when he did, he stood up and leaned over you, cupping your face in his hands. 

“Doll, you’re awake.” You gave him a soft smile.

“Are you sure? I must be dreaming because there’s an angel standing right in front of me.” You tried cracking a joke, wanting the worry in his eyes to go away. But your attempt failed as he let out a sob. He placed his head against yours and you quickly brought your hands up to cup his face. 

“Hey, Sonny, don’t cry. It’s okay. I’m okay.” Tears were welling in your eyes from seeing him like this. 

“I’m sorry. I just…” He couldn’t even talk. You sighed and brought him into you to let him rest his face in the crook of your neck. The movement made your head throb but you didn’t care. 

“Don’t apologize. I know.” You rubbed at his back. 

“I’m sorry, you shouldn’t be comforting me right now,” he pulled away. 

“How are you feeling?” He asked as he ran a hand down your face. 

“Sore, and my head hurts. I’m kind of thirsty too.” Before you could even finish your sentence though, Sonny was pressing the call button for a nurse. A few moments later, a nurse walked in.

“Good to see you awake.” She said to you and then Sonny reiterated your pains and that you needed water. She said she’d go get some and left you both. 

“How long have I been out?” You scooted up a bit, despite the pain. 

“A few hours, your team is waiting for you out in the waiting room.” He didn’t bother expressing that those few hours didn’t feel like hours at all. They felt like years. 

Your nurse walked back in with the doctor that was operating on you. You were given water and then he asked you a few questions. 

“Everything should heal pretty nicely. You’ll need to be on bed rest for a few weeks and we’ll prescribe you with some medication for the pain.” Your doctor explained. Your heart sunk at the idea of bed rest. 

“When will I be able to go back to work?” You asked. Sonny scoffed, you ignored him and waited for the doctor to answer. He spared a look in Sonny’s direction and then directed his attention to you again.

“With bed rest and some time after to start getting your strength back…” he trailed off, grimacing. 

“Maybe in two months, possibly three. And that’s as long as you stay rested and do your exercises when the time comes.” You chewed on your lip. You loved your job and for you to be out of commission for almost three months…it stung. 

“I’ll be sure it’s all done, doc.” Sonny told him. The doctor simply nodded and said you could be discharged in two days and then he left the room. 

“Three months…” You groaned. 

“Three months of me catering to your every need.” Sonny kissed your hand, trying to get you to lighten up. It kind of worked. 

“Really? Breakfast in bed?”

“Of course.”

“Foot rubs?”

“Yup.”

“Kisses whenever I want them?” 

“Oh, definitely.” He said and kissed you. You smiled through it. 

“I guess it doesn’t sound too bad…” You teased him. He laughed and brought your hand up to press a kiss to the back of it.

“I get you all to myself for three months, it doesn’t sound bad at all.” 

Sonny didn’t lie when he said he’d be at your beck and call. For the next few months he was at your side, doing everything you asked of him. He’d make breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Always making sure you were maintaining your health and strength. Always double checking with you to make sure you took your meds. He had taken time off work to help you through everything and you were beyond grateful for him. Of course there were times where you had explained to him that he didn’t need to hand feed you as well or times where he didn’t need to help you walk just to get to the bathroom. But you knew his heart was in the right place. He was taking good care of you because he loved you. And when the time came when you were finally allowed to go back into work, he was right there with you, sending you off with a kiss. And you promised him that you’d come home. And you always did.