#it was probably 1:30 in the morning and I was unprepared to deal with it

[epaily]

fuzzy and the terrible horrible fuckass testday he did NOT wantt to to but had to anyway

I DID NOT FORGET I PROMISED

reader bewarb this this shit is long may or may not be hard to follow because i talk about (my) degree jargon

ok lessgo

to begin. you need context. theres an organization (one for every country im assuming) that issues tickets stating "X CAN WELD" or else some schmuck with a helmet can walk in and work.

theres a ticket for every process in every position and then some. it was these tickets i was testing for today and i was WILDLY unprepared. it isnt the first time ive done them but i was super out of practice. they are flat, horizontal, vertical and overhead.

so cut to february, the last time we did tickets. remember when i wanted to end it all because i failed a test i spent a hundred dollars on? yeah this was one of those. i failed my horizontal so this time around i thought "i dont wanna do my fuckign horizontal cause last time i failed and i felt like shit so im gonna do my vertical instead"

what no one told meeeee was that you have to get your tickets in position order. and i KNOW i take forever and a day, hence me only doing one.

well i didnt do one. i did two. i have no idea if i passed or failed them and tbh im too scared to check because i was completely out of fucks two beads into my vertical.

but lets not get ahead of ourselves.

the test sheets had to be reprinted twice because the first go around they missed imputting someone into the system and the second time around someone got lost, and then got registered twice. great lovely. so because of this all of our test plates were wrong because we all got new assigned numbers.

we finally get our sheets we go and pay and while im in line in the bookstore to pay for my test (remember this) guess what fucking hit me. the cramps i had spent all night hoping for. at 8:30 in the morning. litterally 2 hours behind schedule. i was FURIOUS. so now i had that to deal with all day thankfully ive had worse but because they didnt arrive on time i have full permission to bitch as much as i want.

so back to the shop. i was trying to set my peremiters for my vert so i hadnt even started yet when my instrucor pokes his head into my booth and says "(tester) wants to see you" so i go and thats when i find out that you have to do the tests in order. so i tack and stamp up some new plates which was probably the least annoying part of the whole day

so i do the new plates first. welding it out goes relatively fine. it took forever to find an instructor to verify it but whatever.

AND THEN I GO TO GOUGE THE BACKING STRIP OFF.

i could not. for thee fucking life of me. unscrew the cutting tips from the oxy torches. ive seen people do it. ive done it. it is Not Hard. i used a wrench n all on all 3 tables and it would Not Come Off. so i said to hell with this and went to the carbon arc room.

carbon arc cutting is using specialized electrodes to vaporize metal. you drag it over metal and it carves into it. fast and easy.

but i of course had a hell of a time doing it like i do anything and it was Not Working. by the time i did figure out what i was doing wrong there were carbon deposits coming out the yahoo and it which are difficult to gouge through. so i had half of it very nice and the other half a melted amalgamtion of metal and didnt gouge very much off. great.

so i finish that. away i go back to my booth. to grind for the next i dont even know how long because oh my fucking god SO much grinding. im not big enough to use the 7 inch grinders so i have to use a 5 inch one which is yk what let me just show you

these are all cordless but you get the fuckin gist.

what everyone else got to use vs what i got. dying.

so i finally fucking got it flush. cut it. not a big deal. onto the second one at 1:30. i feel like i should mention that at this point everyone else has been done for like two hours.

i didnt even start welding until like 10ish so i was already 2 hours behind everyone only doing one plate. most everyone else did 2 and so did i BUT I ONLY WANTED ONE

my vertical was so bad i was way too hot and shaking and i didnt put them in in a very good order i would genuinely be surprised if it didnt snap. i needed a practice one but i had No Time so it was messy and the cap was large and my rods were sticking so i was frustrated aND OH THATS SOMETHING IM FORGETTING

some electrodes need to be baked/stored in an oven to keep moisture content low. when i ran out i went to get more and the oven was empty so ithought i'll be a good samaritan and fill it up AND I GOT THE BOX THAT SAID. 3/32ND. MATCHES THE OVEN. AND I OPENED IT. AND IT WAS THE WRONG KIND OF ELECTRODES.

and once you open these they cant be resealed they need to be either used or cooked within 4 hours.

so i started stuffing as many electrodes into the oven as i could and in my haste i sliced both my fucking hands open. i didnt even notice the cut on my right palm because the one on my left pointer finger was just gushing blood all over soaking my glove and getting over the electrodes (absolutely my fault btw i should of been wearing gloves. i deserved this one) and so i stopped and said i need to handle this. so away i went. bandaged now all good. just again. annoyed. and i still didnt have any 7018s.

i found some. eventually. fuck.

i finished my second test at idk 2:30 or maybe a bit later, begged one of the instructors to mill the back off for me because i was NOTTT doing the carbon arc/ grinding for forever again. once it was done bc time crunch i p much just got to look at and get excited over the smooth mill peices before my instructor whisked it away to grind/cut himself. which - i understand completely time crunch im slow i get it im not bothered.

and then we cleaned up. and i was talking to the tester a little bit before i left and he said "glad you paid because theyre checking who didnt hoho"

now. guys. recall at the start of the post where i said that 2 tests are a hundred bucks. and i only paid for one.

i did one of my tests for free afusdiaksoqondiakdka. he said he'd get the paperwork later and he never did 😭

then. fucking FINALLY it was 3 and i got on the bus and came home and i was so spent i had an alcoholic freezie. i dont drink.

i should of fucking stayed home.

[shireness-says]

If I Could See Your Face Once More (6/6)

Summary: This time, there’s no celebration at Granny’s when the latest crisis has been resolved. Instead, they’re left to deal with the body of Killian Jones. A 5B canon divergence where Killian dies in Camelot, never becoming a Dark One. Rated T for language. Also on AO3. ~1.2K. Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5

A/N: Fluffy epilogue incoming! Thanks for keeping up with this, guys - I’ve treasured each and every comment and tag flail. I love you all. (But especially @snidgetsafan for beta-ing this).

This is the last chapter in the story, but you can bet your sweet ass that I have a ton of headcanons about this ‘verse. Come ask me about them, I’m always happy to spill all my secrets in the name of happy endings for everyone.

Tagging: @thejollyroger-writer, @profdanglaisstuff, @captainsjedi, @ultraluckycatnd, @superchocovian, @snowbellewells, @killianjones4ever82, @wellhellotragic, @ohmakemeahercules, @let-it-raines, @lifeinahole27, @kmomof4. 

Thank you everyone for reading, and I’m so happy you loved this story the way I do!

His daughter enters the world at 2:03 on a Saturday morning, and makes all the clichés true.

She’s somehow the smallest thing he’s ever seen, her first cry the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard, and it’s by far the proudest moment of his life when it’s the sound of his voice that is able to calm his tiny, stressed and disoriented infant as the nurses clean her up and tend to Emma. All at once, it’s like there’s a corner of his heart that he never knew existed, that had been shut up for years, that is suddenly there and open and exploding with love for this tiny human being he’s known for a matter of minutes. In short, he’s emotional and entirely unprepared and ecstatic.

They name her Charlotte Leigh Jones, her middle name for his brother (for even if Emma and Liam hadn’t entirely seen eye to eye, she knows, has seen how much he meant to Killian). Her first name is one of the very few that was both classic enough for Killian and modern enough for Emma. Whale wants to keep her in the hospital for a few days just to be sure that nothing’s the matter, between her Dark One conception and prenatal trip to the Underworld, but as far as they can tell, she seems to be a perfectly healthy infant - seven pounds, one ounce, and nineteen inches long, with one hell of a set of lungs. She has a tuft of dark hair on her head and eyes that aren’t quite his blue and aren’t quite Dave’s, that he thinks will one day be Emma’s lovely green. Poor lass has his ridiculous pointy ears, but Emma’s chin and a nose that still might be either one of theirs. Her head is somewhat pointed, but he’s been assured that this will go away, and frankly, he’ll adore her and find her perfect regardless. Overall, Killian thinks she’s the most beautiful child he’s ever seen, and he still can’t believe that such a little beauty is his .

(When they finally lay the baby down and Emma finally gets to sleep sometime around 3:30, he has to take a moment in the attached bathroom to have his own private breakdown. After so many years in the darkness, after dying killed - twice - and sent to the Underworld, it’s so hard to believe that he can deserve this, that he’s not going to wake up from what must be a wonderful dream. It’s not just him anymore, and he’s terrified – terrified that he’ll somehow hurt his precious lass, that he’ll fail Emma and Charlotte, that he’ll fall back into the darkness again. It’s all so much, and four months was not nearly enough to prepare for this, and he can feel the panic mounting –

But then he hears Charlotte start to quietly fuss in the other room, and it’s suddenly so easy to set his fears aside in favor of soothing any worries or problems his little love might have.)

The morning had been full of visitors, nearly from the moment visiting hours had opened. Henry had been thrilled of course, and Killian now has more photos on his phone of Henry holding the baby (of his two children, of his son holding his daughter) than he ever thought he would. He wasn’t surprised to see Snow tear up, but Dave had been much the same, turning into a cooing fool when the tiny girl was placed in his arms. Then again, David has fawned over his daughter every moment of her existence; it’s probably not shocking he’s already started doing the same for his little granddaughter. Since then, it seems like half the town has trooped through. Granny had stopped by with a soft knitted blanket, much like Emma’s own, but edged in green. Belle promptly burst into tears when they asked her to be the godmother; in only another two months, he’s sure they’ll be back here to welcome Belle’s own little one. Regina looks oddly comfortable with Charlotte for someone known as the Evil Queen, even affectionate; then again, she does have years of experience caring for Henry and now her niece. Robin himself is as happy as if the baby were his own (“Oh, you and Vera shall be the best of friends, isn’t that right, Princess?”). There are far too many dwarves visiting for Killian’s personal taste, and he suspects Emma’s as well, but there is something entertaining about the look of panic on Leroy’s face when he takes a turn holding Charlotte. It’s the little amusements in life.

But now, it’s just him and his little girl in the hospital nursery while Emma gets some much deserved rest under her still cooing father’s watchful eye. He knows it’s only a temporary lull; Snow had left on a tear to apparently bring half the baby’s wardrobe back and probably the house along with it, and would likely be back in the next couple hours, and Granny had promised to return later with Charlotte’s name stitched on the blanket she had made. Now, however, is a quiet moment to realign himself with his new reality, and get down to the business of getting to know his tiny girl. Of course, the matter is somewhat hindered by her determination to sleep in between meals, but for now, he’s content to simply have her little body propped against his chest, hand stroking her back and stump supporting her little bum. She’s still so soft and squishy, and the tubes and wires monitoring her little body scare him to pieces, but he’s also discovered in the past hour that she already sneezes (babies sneeze, how did he not know babies sneeze, and he can’t help but find adorable how her entire body jerks with the force of that effort while still fretting about whether the blanket is covering her properly), she tries to burrow into his chest the same way her mama does, especially now that he’s unbuttoned his shirt to give her contact with his warm skin, and apparently is very taken with his pirate’s luck if her surprisingly tight grip on the chain is anything to go by.

Even as he ponders, he can feel her waking up. Emma just fed her not too long ago, so hopefully she’s simply got her nap out finally and the attention from her loving papa will keep her content. It shouldn’t be that hard; so far, as much as anyone can tell from knowing her a matter of hours, she’s a quiet little thing, largely content to simply observe all the faces and things happening around her and try to soak them all in and only fussing when she’s hungry or needs changing. Even then, it’s only a series of snuffles instead of the outraged screaming Killian remembers from babysitting Vera and little Neal, like she doesn’t want to make too big a deal about the whole thing.

As she starts trying to squirm against his chest, Killian shifts Charlotte to be cradled in his arms instead of propped on his bare chest, and is rewarded by her eyes searching for him. He knows it’s too early to get a smile out of her, but he’s already so excited for that milestone. For now, just watching her eyes settle on his grin feels like the greatest treasure.

“Hello, my darling,” he whispers down at her as his thumb strokes her chubby little cheek. “I’m so happy you’re here. Papa loves you so very much.”

She’s his second chance, his happy ending, and Killian doesn’t intend to waste a single moment.

[idonthaterunning]

Progress Report

So, my very kind and beautiful reader, tomorrow is May 18th. The semester is over at the university. Students have graduated and all is good. 

May 18th is my 4 month running anniversary! <3 I’ve been a runner for 1/3rd of the year. 

And yes, I did buy myself a gift. A new pair of Under Armour heat gear running leggings. I am also planning my June and July races! I already have August, September, October (2 races) and November planned. I’ve completed 3 out of my 10 races. I have currently clocked 9.3 race miles.

I have also run 75.97 training miles since is started running on January 18th. I just need to repeat that for the people in the back. I have run 75.97 miles, not including my race miles, since January 18th. Wow.

Those miles have done more than put callous on my feet and taught me the importance of a proper sports bra. I’ve lost 10 pounds and almost 5 inches off my waist since I started running.

Overall I’m pretty fucking proud of myself. 

Here is a recap of my races.

RACE 1 - March - The Irish Jig - weather: Really cold - 30 degrees in the morning, sunny but really cold.  official time: 36:51.17 (Currently Personal Best) Pace: 11:53 per mile Overall place: 2873 of 3893 Overall in Female 30 to 34 division: 244 of 318 Overall among all female runners: 1398 of 2165  Summary: This was a very strange event for me. It was my first 5k and I was completely unprepared for many components of it.  1. it was really cold. Like really cold and I was not prepared. I went out last minute and bought a Nike 3/4 zip to keep me warm for the run. I didn’t have the right socks, shoes, or leggings on to run in this weather. I had been running inside on a treadmill, or indoor track, or outside in Arizona. I wasn’t ready for the cold. During the run, my legs hurt so badly, i couldn’t tell if it was from running or from cold. the back of my arms hurt from the cold (Oddly, enough, this is where i get cold when running.) My Nike 3/4 Zip I bought did the trick and my chest was actually starting to overheat. When i was done running, my chest looked like it had sunburn.

2. I had no idea how runs would work. I didn’t know about water stations. I didn’t know about registration, or check in. I didn’t know about pacing groups or really anything. So i think that the Irish Jig was a really good first race. It was an easy track and my friends were with me and helped me get my shit together.

3. I was disappointed in my run. I slowed down twice and walked for about 30 seconds, which disappointed me. When i ran on the track i completed the 5k in 35:50 with no walking. I couldn’t hold it together to run the full time. Oddly, enough, this has been my fast time thus far.

4. The thing that was probably the least important but most annoying for me was the amount of little kid participating in this race. I know that should shitty to say but they would run ahead and then stop and wait for their parents. They wouldn’t look at where they were going or look behind them. They didn’t run in a straight line either. So it was like dodging children for 3 miles. It was very tiresome.

RACE 2 - April - Gazelle girl  weather: Cold -  low 40s when the race started, but it was very sunny official time: 41:06.53 (added 4:50ish to my time- my personal worst) Pace: 13:14 per mile Overall place:  492 of 1004 Overall in Female 30 to 34 division:   86 of 132 Overall among all female runners: 492 of 1004 (this was an all ladies event)

Summary: This race was a last minute add for me. I registered for it about 3 weeks before it when i was buying new running shoes. It was not what I was planning to do. I had backed off running for a few days and really had tuned down my training. I went from running 3+ times a week to 1 or 2 times a week. 

However, this last minute add also caused me to set my new goal of 10 5ks I really liked this race. However, it wasn’t my favorite. 

I was still cold. I was super slow. I didn’t sleep well the night before and I was feeling really out of it due to some things happening in my personal life. I was really disappointed in myself and the race was surprisingly hard! There was significantly more elevation changes in this race than I had ever experienced. The whole last quarter mile was uphill and it laid me out. I was beat. 

However, I ran the whole thing. I didn’t stop to walk at all which i thought was really impressive, until i got my time. I knew it wasn’t going to be better than my first race, but I picked up A LOT of time. 41:06 that is 5 minutes. That is enough time to drink a cup of coffee. I was so discouraged with myself. 

People always tell you to take walking breaks if you need them, and I needed one, i just didn’t listen to my body. My body made a lot of noise on this run. I could feel twitching and pinches in my knees and hips that reminded me I need to be doing more BEFORE i start to run.

I like the idea of Gazelle Girl, I had to deal with the moms and kids again, which was annoying. However, this race showed me that I could be running more miles. I watched women my mother’s age complete the 10k! 

I also liked that my name was annoyed as i ran over the finish line. I was bummed out because there was not a single race photo of me.

May - The Fifth Third Riverbank run - weather: Cold 42 degrees, rainy and cloudy, and windy. All around shitty weather. This seems to be the trendy when i run, the weather just has to suck. Official Time: 37:36.27 Pace: 12:06 per mile Overall place: 2045 of 2916 Overall in Female 30 to 34 division:   148 of 227 Overall among all female runners: 970 of 1601 Summary:

Overall, my favorite race so far was the riverbank run. It was the biggest with over 16,000 people running in one of the different races. I joined the university corporate team, and honestly, best idea ever. There was an indoor suite area we could go into and get coffee! 

The team was super unrated because I was never actually invited to any of the group trainings or the facebook group. I also didn’t see anyone else there wearing their University Healthy Living shirts. The ugliest shirts ever.

It was so insanely could and I could not for the life of me find my freaking running gloves. My hands were like ice the whole day. It didn’t help that I slipped beer on myself after the race and soaked my shirt.

I kt taped my knees because they had been bothering me. I didn’t feel great starting this race. However, it was a really good run. I felt focused and in the zone. I also liked that we used this app called RaceJoy, because people could send me cheers from home! It was really cool.

I took two small 30 second walking breaks on some of the highest points of elevation on the course.

I was so happy to finish this race strong. I felt good, but cold.

I did hang around to watch the 10k and the 25k races finish. It was amazing to watch the form of the elite 25k runners. I was so amazed that the first woman finished in like less then an hour and 30 minutes.  I also clapped and cheered for everyone who went buy. LITERALLY EVERYONE! Hand cycles, wheelchairs, 5k walkers. 25 k runners who looked at me like they were going to die and I just told them they were so close! 

This running journey has been so enlightening. I’ve learn a lot about myself both physically and mentally. I like that running lets me put my mental problems aside. I like focusing on my feet and my mechanics when I run. When my personal issues creep into my running space, i can’t stay focused. I have to take more breaks. I have to sort out my issues.

Honestly, I think i started running, because I’ve been dealing with issues I haven’t wanted to deal with. Running has actually made me focus on dealing with my issues.

One thing that has been on my mind for the last 14 months is, where I am going? I came to Grand Rapids because I made plans with someone who never showed. I took a job because it was a means to an end, that never came. I’ve met some really amazing friends here. I’ve been pushed creatively with my writing community and Nanowrimo. My friends from home have continued to be a constant.  I’ve been working on becoming who I want to be. Not just who I think I should be to be with someone.

I’m on my way. I’ve started this journey. I have 7 more races to complete before December 10th. 

Thanks for sticking with me so far. There is a lot more to come, I promise. 

[olicitysecretsanta]

Better with you

Dear Emma @bitchwhwifi

I wish you and your family a beautiful holiday season. May it be filled with love, laughter and peace.

Leona @lgtwinkie99

Chapter 1

“Cooper, I just got your text. What do you mean with you think we are done?”

“Lissy..”

“You know I don’t like it when you call me that.”

“Lissy calm down. You knew that this was going to happen at some point in our relationship. I mean I think we have really exhausted our relationship.”

“So you wake up one morning and decide this doesn’t work for you anymore and that the past three years meant nothing?”

“They meant something Lissy. I mean the sex isn’t bad but I think our relationship has become predictable and I want excitement. I can’t be in a relationship like this for the rest of my life. I will die of boredom.”

“And you couldn’t have spoken to me about all of this? Instead you break up with me over a text message?”

“Lissy you can’t change even if you want to. Look at it this way, we are still young and can still move on.”

“Cooper I know our relationship wasn’t perfect but I thought we were committed to each other. I never expected this from you. You are so not who I thought you were. It just goes to show, you think you know someone. But let this boring person not hold you up Cooper Seldon. I for one will not lose tears over this relationship. I am thankful this has happened now rather than later. I suppose you just did me a huge favour. I am finally free from someone who couldn’t appreciate me, who didn’t value me and who doesn’t see me as enough. Bye Cooper.”

Felicity hangs up and gives a frustrated shout!

“Urgh!!!”

To think I have been so patient with him, putting up with all his dishonesty and constantly insulting my character, just never being enough for him.

30 minutes later while preparing supper

*knock on the door*

Felicity goes to open the door and finds her best friend John Diggle on her doorstep.

“Diggle! You are back!”

“Woman come here and give me a hug.”

Diggle grabs Felicity into a bear hug.

“I swear it feels like you have gotten smaller since the last time I saw you.” Diggle moves back from Felicity to get a better look at her.

“Has it really been six months?”

“It has been way too long! But I am here now so what have you been up to shorty?”

“Nope! There is no way I am telling you about my boring life first. Tell me what has the past 6 months been like?”

“I always tell you it is what you make of it Lis. If I could understand half of the things you do, I would probably be very enthusiastic about your job.”

Felicity rolls her eyes at Diggle.

“Okay if you say so. Can I dish for you?” Diggle follows Felicity to the kitchen.

“Always a yes! Ooh this looks yummy!”

Diggle looks at the feast Felicity has prepared for them. Whenever he comes back home from one of his long expeditions he can be sure that he will find something special prepared for him by Felicity.

“I missed your cooking! I wish I could pack up all this food and take it with me when I am on those long trips. Oliver really saves our butts when we are out there.  I don’t know how that guy makes a meal out of nothing but he does. But this shorty beats his hands down! Just don’t tell him I said that.”

“I am happy you are enjoying it. So tell me what you guys have been up to these past few months.”

“It has been a crazy couple of months. I was finished with my first 26 day expedition to the Three Peaks of Nepal and just got back to base when we received news that there was a landslide on one of the tours and Oliver and I literally only had time to pack a new bag and equipment before we were flown out to Cho Oyu. It was one exhausting trip. Tony, one of the guides, was seriously injured and we had to airlift him out. The guy was in bad shape, still in recovery. Bill is also off sick so that leaves us seriously understaffed. Oliver and I were booked back to back. We were so relieved when we were shipped out. It can get rough out there.”

“But you still love what you are doing?” Felicity rests her chin on her hands, so relaxed now that Diggle is back.

“Crazy enough? I wouldn’t change one thing about it.”

“I am really really happy for you Diggle.”

“So where is Cooper? Is he working late again?”

“Mmm Cooper isn’t coming anymore. We broke up.”

“You did? Wait a minute. Who did the breaking up Lis?”

Felicity looks down at her hands and starts fidgeting with her fingers.

“He did, over text.”

“He did what? I never liked that guy but now? I could choke him with my bare hands.”

“I might not stop you the way I am feeling right now.”

“When did it happen?”

“Today, just before you came actually. I should thank him for his timing because at least I don’t have to be alone. I have my best friend back.”

Diggle gets up, walks to Felicity, takes her hand and gently pulls her to her feet.

Without a word he wraps Felicity in a bear hug. Diggle’s tenderness causes Felicity to let go of her emotions and she starts to cry silent tears on her friends shoulder.

They are not sure how long they are standing there in embrace but Felicity feels lighter afterwards.

They ended up watching a marathon of their favourite movies, laughing and making silly jokes like old times until Felicity falls asleep on Diggle’s shoulder.

^^^^^^^^^^

The next morning Felicity finds herself in her bed not very unusual after a hang out with Diggle that normally lasts until she falls asleep.

Felicity cannot help but smile thinking about her closest friend. They have been best friends for the past five years and Felicity wishes that she felt more for her bestie than friendship. They actually joke about how they would make the perfect couple if only they could get to feeling more than just friendship for each other. They have been in each other’s corner through good and bad times, success and losses. One thing she could always count on over the years has been Diggle. Constant, faithful, cuddly Diggle. He always knows what to say and do to make her feel better. This morning feels a whole lot more hopeful than she could have imagined and she knows it is thanks to her bestie who is snoring on her couch. She gets up and decides to prepare breakfast  for them.

She starts breakfast and cannot help but feel relieved that she no longer has to deal with Cooper and his issues. She can now live her life the way she wants and do what she has always wanted to do. He has always laughed at her dreams and criticised her. She isn’t even sure why she has been with him this long or why she has put up with him.

The first thing that pops into Felicity’s mind is to get a Bike. Not your normal bicycle but a motorbike with roaring engine and all. Bet Cooper wouldn’t think me boring now. Last she mentioned that they could get one together he laughed at her saying that her feet won’t ever reach the pedals. How was she going to drive one? Maybe Diggle would be up to it.

Felicity carries a tray with their breakfast to the sitting room and wakes Diggle up with a chirpy, “Wakey Wakey! Breakfast is ready.”

Diggle moans and groans but moves to a sitting position and takes his breakfast from Felicity.

“You know if you weren’t such an excellent cook I would not be getting up right now. Feels like I have jetlag.”

Diggle gives a yawn and looks at his friend noticing her chirpy mood.

“And why are you sitting there like someone who won the jackpot instead of someone who just went through a break up? Even though I have to say good riddance.”

“Diggle you and I both know my relationship with Cooper wasn’t good for me. I always felt like I was being dominated, always doing what he wanted, going where he wanted to go and then he has the audacity to tell me I am boring! Phew okay let me just calm down.”

Felicity takes a breath: ‘So I was thinking, I want to get a bike.’

“A bike? You have never been the sporty type shorty but we can go get you a bicycle. I am all yours today so why not go after breakfast?”

“No not a bicycle, I want a motorbike.”

“Felicity you do know a motorbike is a motorbike? Very dangerous and very fast and can be quite expensive.”

“I have a lot in my savings at the moment and why not use it for this? Come on! For someone who is so adventurous you can be a drip.”

“Felicity you are my best friend and I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“That is why we can ask your friend Oliver to give me some lessons before I take it on the road myself. He does still have the bike shop right?”

“Yes he does.”

Diggle looks at Felicity’s determined expression and knows that this is one fight he will not win.

“Okay let me call him and see if he is available today.”

“Call him now while I clean up the dishes.”

He hasn’t seen Felicity this excited since she got her job at Queen Consolidated. Maybe this will be good for her.

“Oliver, hi man.  What are you up to today?”

“John! Miss me already? Thought you are spending the day with Felicity?”

“I am but she wants a bike?”

“Whoa from what you have told me about her, she doesn’t sound like the bike type at all.”

“She isn’t but long story short, she has made up her mind and well I need your help to get her the perfect one and then give her some lessons.”

“Sure, I can help out. I am at the shop, so you guys can come by anytime.”

“See you in an hour.”

He looks up to see Felicity looking at him like a teenage girl expectantly waiting, “And?”

“Let’s go get you a bike!”

“Yis!”

Felicity fist bumps the air and turns with a skip in her step to get ready.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Chapter 2

“Oliver!”

“Hey John!” Oliver and Diggle exchange a bro hug and then he turns to Felicity.

“Hey Felicity, nice to see you again.”

Oliver cannot help but look at Felicity a bit longer than is necessary as she replies.

“Same here.”

Felicity cannot help but feel awkward, not sure if she should hug Oliver or just shake his hand, so instead she shoves her hands in her jean pocket.

“So, I hear you are shopping for a bike? Anything specific in mind?”

Both Diggle and Oliver turn to Felicity and she feels completely silly that she is so unprepared. She was in such a hurry to buy a bike that she never took the time to do her research. This is so unlike her.

“I honestly haven’t had time to think about it really”, Felicity says blushing slightly.

“That won’t be a problem. That is where my expertise comes in.” Oliver says trying to put her at ease.

“I have a few here at my shop but anything I don’t have we can order for you and get it delivered. So, looking at your build…I mean the structure of your body, I mean the shape of…sorry I am really messing this up.”

Diggle and Felicity look at each other and start bursting out with laughter.

“I have never seen you this red Oliver. Seems you had a bit of a tongue twister. This is a really nice side to you Ollie.” Diggle cannot help but enjoy seeing Oliver so uncomfortable.

“Sorry I am not used to stumbling all over myself, but you do know what I mean right?”

Felicity and Diggle clearly together in making Oliver feel uncomfortable shake their heads innocently to say no.

“What I meant to say was that we will need to find a bike suitable for your build. Because you are quite small.”

“I’m pretty strong for my 5-foot-5 average height.”

“I don’t doubt that one bit. But your bike must suit you like a glove. We want you to have the best possible experience, so we want to make sure you get the perfect one. Let me show you the ones I think might work for you.”

Diggle casually throws his arm around Felicity as they follow Oliver.

“Here we have the Kawasaki Ninja 250R. It sports a lateral aluminium frame, a different fairing designed to make it look sportier, 17-inch wheels, an adjustable rear shock absorber, adjustable brake and clutch levers, a small drive sprocket, computer-controlled timing advance, and a revised electrical system. It also has a smaller carburettor, & slightly different compression ratio, both of which were designed for quicker revving and slightly higher top end power.”

Oliver turns to look at Diggle and Felicity to see what they thought of the bike and realised he completely lost them.

“Oliver remember Felicity doesn’t know anything about bikes so can you turn it down a notch?”

“Sorry, I get carried away sometimes. What I meant was that it is small and not too heavy and would still give you enough speed to give you an adrenalin rush.”

“Okay that I can process. And this one? Really beautiful. I always thought bikes were these big ugly machines that just made a lot of noise. I know, I know. I was wrong.”

“This beauty is the Harley-Davidson Sportster XL883L. A bit pricey but worth every cent.”

“So how do you know which one is the right one?”

“It would help test driving them. That is the best way to decide. Since you have never driven one, I can take you out on the road a bit.”

“Can we go now?”

Oliver looks at Diggle as if needing permission and to see if Diggle trusts him enough to take his best friend on a bike ride.

Diggle gives Oliver a nod and a huge smile spreads across Oliver’s face.

“Okay let’s go. Let’s take the Ninja for a spin and then work our way through the list.”

Oliver hands Felicity her helmet and helps her tie the strap.

He has known of Felicity for some time and they would meet on certain occasions where Diggle would invite both, but he has never been this close to her. Being this close to her makes him notice her blue eyes and freckles across her nose. She is one beautiful woman.

Oliver clears his throat.

“Tight enough?”

Felicity nods and instead of looking dorky with the helmet on, she manages to look even more adorable.

Before Oliver can stop himself, he hears himself remark, “Really cute.”

Oliver gets on the bike and moves up to make space for Felicity.

Oliver looks ahead trying to keep busy with the gadgets on the bike to not focus on how close she is to him.

Oliver starts the bike and can feel Felicity startle when the bike comes alive.

“Sorry, it can be very noisy.”

“I will have to get used to it. Now is as good a time as any.”

“Okay you might want to put your arms around me and hold on tight.”

“I imagined you saying that under different circumstances, very platonic circumstances.

Oliver feels Felicity’s hands on his side holding on to him in a very subtle way. Until the bike pulls off and her arms go completely around his middle squeezing his lower abdomen.

Oliver turns his head and asks, “You okay?”, to which Felicity nods yes.

They pull out of the shop slowly and come to a halt when Oliver turns slightly. He was so close to her that he can see the speckles in her eyes but refused to put some distance between them.

“I will start out slowly and build up speed gradually. You can squeeze me or nudge me with your leg if I should slow down or stop. I should tell you that I have been doing this for a while and I will never be irresponsible with someone’s life. So, try to relax and enjoy the ride.”

With a nod from Felicity, Oliver turns around and starts to pull off again.

Felicity has nervousness starting in the pit of her stomach all the way down to her toes. She cannot believe she is finally doing this, she must be crazy, but she must find out if she can really do this. As they cruise along the anxiousness starts fading and gives way to an excitement that she has only felt a few times in her life. She knows she doesn’t have to hold on as tight as she is but she loves the feel of Oliver’s abs underneath her fingers. He feels so solid.

Oliver picks up the pace and starts speeding up. Felicity can’t help but let out an excited “yee-haw”!

Oliver smiles as he thinks to himself, another one bites the dust, she is hooked.

Oliver increases the speed to see how far she is willing to go when Felicity surprises him by hugging him even tighter and pressing her cheek against his back.

Fifteen minutes later Oliver pulls into the shop and finds Diggle waiting for them.

He walks toward them with a concerned expression until Felicity removes her helmet with the biggest smile he has ever seen.

“I want to do that again!”

Oliver laughs, “You either love it or you hate it.”

“That was so amazing! That was so emancipating! How fast did we go?”

“At one point 111.85 mph.”

“Really? I felt the speed, but I would never have imagined we drove that fast.”

“So you were not afraid?” Diggle asks curiously.

“Not one bit. I know you trust Oliver and if you trust him with me on a bike then he must be worth trusting.”

Oliver is completely caught off guard at Felicity’s comment and not sure of what to say. No one has ever said anything so nice about him, especially not someone who didn’t know him personally.

He clears his throat and busies himself with the pedal of the bike.

“So, I suggest we take each of these bikes on the road over the next few days and then you should be able to decide which one you like. For the next week I am available early morning and late afternoon. I am babysitting for Thea during the day. Roxy can keep me very busy and I will prefer to not bring her along with me to the shop, at least not yet.”

“How is Thea coping with being back at work? I haven’t seen her in so long.”

“I think surprisingly well. Her and Alex really have the parenting thing down. I could never imagine my younger sister as a mother, but she is doing an awesome job with Roxy. She asked me to tell you to come by for dinner tonight, she really misses you John.”

“I miss her too. I will be there.”

“Felicity why don’t you come join us?

“That would be really nice.”

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Chapter 3

Later that afternoon Felicity finds herself unable to decide what to wear. She is normally not one to worry much about what people think but for some unexplainable reason she does wonder what Oliver thinks of her.

She finds him intriguing and exhilarating and loves how he is with her. And yes, he might have treated her like he would any other woman looking for a bike, but she would like to think that there was something between them.  For a handsomely well-built guy he has been very quirky around her making him even more attractive. He was pleasantly refreshing, unlike what she has been experiencing from the male population the past few years, Diggle obviously being an exception.

She opts for a floral tank top and a blue skirt, modest but beautiful.

Diggle picks her up at seven and they drive to Thea’s place recalling what they have been up to that day.

“Digg I am telling you that manager at the coffee shop was checking you out. Did you not notice how she completely ignored me and zoned in on your lips?”

“Felicity I never knew you to exaggerate.”

“That is true, so it must tell you that it is all true. We will have to go back there just so I can prove you wrong.”

“Doesn’t seem like I am the only one getting attention today from the opposite sex.”

Felicity gives Diggle a coy look.

“Don’t you even pretend you don’t know what I am talking about? My boy Oliver was completely tripping over himself today. Didn’t know what got into him and then I saw the way he looked at you.”

“I will not deny that Oliver is good looking and very hot, but I am on the rebound and I don’t know what the rules are about that, but I am sure it doesn’t say that you should jump a guy the next day.”

“Who said anything about jumping him? All I am saying is don’t go drooling all over him and try to behave yourself. I know how you get around handsome guys. Look at how you jumped my bones when I got to your place last night. You should be lucky there is no Mrs Diggle, she would have been very jealous!”

Felicity laughs at their bantering and wonders if things will change when a Mrs Diggle does come along. She won’t have her bestie all to herself anymore.

“Hey where did you go to shorty?”

Diggle reaches across to take her hand and gives it a squeeze.

“Just thinking how lucky I am to have a friend like you. You have been godsend, and really so much more than a girl could ask for.”

“Hey, I will always be here for you. No matter what.”

They pull into a drive way of a quaint house, when Diggle switches off the car and turns to Felicity.

“Lis, you haven’t had the best experiences with guys, apart from me.”

Felicity playfully slaps Diggle on the shoulder.

“But Oliver is one of the good guys and you were right about me trusting him. I am not forcing you into anything, I’m just saying that you can be yourself with him.”

“Thanks Digg. I will remember that.”

^^^^^^^^^^

“John! It has been way too long! Why you and my brother enjoy these long trips away from home I will never understand.”

“Keeps us out of trouble.” Diggle gives Thea one of his famous bear hugs and then turns to introduce Felicity.

“Thea this is a very close friend of mine, Felicity Smoak, Thea Queen.”

“So nice to meet you Felicity. Please feel at home and mind the obstacles. Roxy thinks the house is more hers than ours. Suppose that is how it is with children.”

“Definitely makes it homier,” Felicity remarks.

“Oliver says the same thing.”

“Gossiping about me little sis? Don’t believe anything she tells you Felicity.”

Oliver walks into the foyer with Roxy in his arms. If Felicity thought Oliver looked good before then he looks even better with a toddler in his arms. Oliver could be wearing a black bag and would still look handsome. He walks directly to her and surprises her by giving her a hug with Roxy in his arms.

In that moment Roxy takes a piece of Felicity’s hair and rubs it between her fingers and then she reaches out her arms to Felicity to take her from Oliver.

Felicity not sure how to handle the situation looks at Oliver and then Thea then back again.

When Thea smiles and says: “It’s okay, she must really like you, she normally takes time to warm up to strangers.”

Felicity reaches for her and little Roxy immediately starts playing with her hair saying “pletty”.

Felicity is completely captivated by Roxy and how warm she makes her feel, smiles and whispers, “so are you Roxy. I love your dress.”

“Let’s move to the patio, it is such beautiful night.” Thea leads the way but Oliver stays behind to wait for Felicity, still holding Roxy.

“Should I take her? She can get heavy.”

“No, I don’t mind. I always thought children didn’t like me and I think I have always been a bit scared of the tiny creatures but this…this feels so good.”

“It is pretty amazing. Roxy why don’t we show aunty Felicity your drawing?”

Roxy immediately slides down and runs toward her play area to show Felicity her drawing of a bike.

“Unc Ollie bike.”

Felicity can see that Oliver is extremely proud of her.

“Wow now this is a beautiful bike. You did a very good job Roxy. Maybe you can draw one for me?”

“A red one!”

Felicity and Oliver play with Roxy a few more minutes before moving to the patio to join the others when Thea says to Alex, “I think I have found us another babysitter babe.”

Felicity finds everyone sitting outside, Thea sitting on her husband Alex’s lap, with Diggle across from her leaving the couch open to Oliver and Felicity.

“Nice to meet you Felicity and thank you in advance for babysitting.” Alex says.

Felicity takes a seat and Oliver joins her, then Oliver remarks, “Felicity hasn’t even been here an hour and I already lost my job.”

He playfully winks at Felicity who shifts uncomfortably under the attention of everyone around her.

^^^^^^^^^^

After dinner Thea leaves to put Roxy to bed and Diggle joins Alex to see his collection of music records.

“Oh, that was subtle.” Oliver smiles sitting forward and resting his arms on his knees.

“So subtle.”

“So, Felicity have you changed your mind about the bike?”

“No not one bit. I want one now even more than before. It was the most amazing feeling to glide across the road. I wish I tried it sooner, fear can hold you back from living you know? Really living.”

“Wait until you can drive on your own. When I am on the open road it feels like I am fearless and free. Or maybe I’m just an adrenaline junky.”

“I can’t imagine you being afraid of anything. You and Diggle put your lives on the line constantly.”

“The thing about fear is that it cripples you. But yesterday you reminded me that fear is what you make of it. If you give it power it will have that over you but if you take power over it, there is just no limits to what you are able to do. I know you were not completely sure about getting on that bike, but you did, and you overcame that fear. I think that is why I do what I do. If something scares me, I get in its face and show it whose boss. Sometimes though, it is just not that easy.”

“I on the other hand have always lived it safe. There is so much that I would like to do but never do. When I was younger my mother used to say that I was a nerdy child on steroids. I would do everything and anything, not always thinking about the consequences.  And then somewhere along the way I started listening to other voices and started doubting myself.”

 “I am sorry if I am forward but does this voice belong to your ex? John told me you went through a break up not long ago. He must be a fool.”

“Thank you but why would you say that? It’s not like you know me that well.”

Oliver clears his throat realising that he might have said more than he should have.

“John talks about you a lot and I know that he thinks you are a pretty amazing person. He always says that he wants his wife to be just like you, maybe just a bit taller.”

They both smile at each other.

“John is really protective of you. When we are on those long excursions he often worries that you are not okay on your own. He is one of the good guys.”

“Yes, he is.” Felicity agrees as Diggle and Alex return, with Thea not far behind them.

“Guys I am so sorry, but I have to go, I just got a call that I have to attend to. Oliver can I ask you to take Felicity home?”

“Sure.”

Felicity gets up with a worried expression. “Everything okay?”

“Yes, don’t worry, will call you tomorrow.”

Diggle gives Felicity a hug greets the rest and leaves with Oliver, walking him out.

Alex increases the volume of the music and turns to Thea, reaches for her hand and they start swaying romantically to the music almost lost in their own world when Oliver walks in.

“Do you want me to take you home now or can we stay a bit longer?”

“No rush, I have really enjoyed your company tonight.  I mean everyone’s company.”

Felicity stumbles over her words when she realises how intimate the setting is and how awkward the moment is, until Oliver stretches out his hand to her requesting a dance with Felicity.

Without a second thought Felicity takes his hand and realises for the second time that day that she is not afraid at all about being with Oliver. He makes it so easy to be herself around him and that makes her trust him even more.

Felicity places her left hand in Oliver’s right hand while Oliver places his other hand on her lower back and draws her in gently. He makes sure to leave enough space between them, so Felicity doesn’t feel uncomfortable.

They start swaying in silence and gradually move closer to each other without realising it; felicity is close enough to Oliver to put her chin against his chest.

There is something so sure about this guy. The way he makes her feel is like heaven and Felicity can feel his strong palm splayed on her lower back, causing heat to travel all the way through her, making her blush a bit. She rests her cheek on his chest, so he wouldn’t see the effect he has on her.

Then Oliver whispers in her ear, “You smell really nice Felicity.” Oliver turns his head so slightly into her hair in a way that is so enduring that Felicity has to bite on her lower lip to keep from sighing out loud. Felicity whispers softly into his shirt, “so do you”. Then she feels the nicest sensation. A beautiful rumble, like thunder as Oliver’s laughter vibrates through his body.

Not even aware that Thea and Alex stopped dancing, Alex clears his throat, “we are heading to bed, Oliver just lock up when you guys leave, no rush. Felicity it was nice meeting you.”

Felicity can only smile at them as they leave afraid her voice will betray how much she is enjoying dancing with Oliver.

A few songs later Oliver and Felicity sit on the couch talking about anything and everything. Felicity feels like she can tell Oliver anything and almost did. The guy must think she is a nutcase, but she hasn’t had that with another man besides Diggle and it feels so good to have someone who listens to you and who is genuinely interested in what you are saying. She catches Oliver once or twice staring at her lips and she almost reaches out to give him a kiss. But her sanity prevails.

Oliver finds Felicity captivating and the more time he spends with her the more time he wants to spend with her. After midnight they realise that they should probably get going when Oliver drives Felicity to her place.

“So home sweet home.” Felicity remarks not sure if she should say goodbye and leave or stay. She really, really wants to stay with him a bit longer.

Oliver seems to also delay in saying goodbye when he eventually breaks the silence, “Do you think I can get your number? Just so we can stay in touch about the bike lessons.”

“Of course.”

They exchange numbers and before the awkward silence settles again Felicity thanks Oliver for the evening.

“I really enjoyed myself tonight. I can’t remember when last I had such a wonderful time.”

“Trust me Felicity I am not known for being talkative, but you managed to bring that out of me. Thank you. Would you want to start your lesson tomorrow or wait for Monday morning?”

“No tomorrow will be perfect.”

“Should I pick you up? It would be on my way.”

“That would be really nice Oliver. So tomorrow at 5:30am?”

“See you then.”

Felicity doesn’t sleep much that night. Thoughts of Oliver keeps floating through her mind. The way he held her, the way he looked at her, the way he made her feel. And then she chastises herself that she needs to take her time and not rush it. She is still on the rebound after all.

Not far away Oliver is lying in bed trying his best to forget about Diggle’s Felicity. Felicity who is so intoxicating, Felicity who smells so warm and inviting, and Felicity who is so honest and open. Tomorrow cannot come soon enough.

^^^^^^^^^^

The next day when Oliver stops at Felicity’s place he realises she got as little sleep as he did judging by the dark circles under her eyes, not that it made her look any less gorgeous.

“Sleep well?” Oliver asks.

“Not really, really excited about today.”

“You are going to do really well. We will take it slow and see where it takes us.”

Felicity isn’t sure if she is imagining it but seems there is a double meaning in Oliver’s statement. Slow she can do. She is just not sure for how long.

When Oliver and Felicity arrive at Oliver’s shop, he takes her immediately to the next bike on their list, the Suzuki Marauder GZ125.

“So instead of me rambling on about what this beauty can do, let’s take her for a spin and you decide.”

This time Felicity is a lot surer of herself and feels a lot more comfortable on the bike. The sun is just about to come up when Oliver pulls into an off-road diner thirty minutes out of town.

He parks the bike, takes their helmets and leads her to a bench on the outside of the restaurant.

“How did you find this place? This view is incredible!”

Oliver is staring at Felicity not even caring if she catches him. He whispers, “yes it is,” while not paying much attention to his surrounding.

“Just give it a few minutes…..Don’t miss this one Felicity.”

And just then the sun breaks through and makes its appearance for the first time that day, a brand-new day.

Felicity turns to Oliver; “Wow” is all she gets out.

“I will go get us a coffee.”

When Oliver returns he finds her right where he left her. Still staring at the sunrise.

“Seems I have some competition.”

“Cute. This is really incredible Oliver, I feel like you just shared with me your secret hiding place.”

“Something like that but I won’t exaggerate.”

“This here reminds me that I have a chance each new day to live and really live. And then I try to do exactly that. Do what makes me happy and hopefully those around me as well.”

“You make it sound so simple. I can see that by looking at your family and friends. You have a beautiful life Oliver.”

“I do. There was a time though when I didn’t appreciate it and the people in it. And then I met John at Adventure Consultants and he really became a mentor to me. I was very reckless when I started out, not my proudest moment. But since then things changed for me.

“Diggle does that to a person. When I met Diggle, I was just a crazy nerdy girl who was influenced to do some stupid things. I saw Diggle just being Diggle, so sure and strong and I wanted that, I wanted to be like that. Since then he has been such a pillar in my life. I sometimes wonder what I would have done without him. Seems we both needed him in our lives.”

“I think you would have still come out of it strong. I know beyond a doubt that you have spunk and you are determined. You would have made it just fine on your own. Diggle is a bonus.”

As if Felicity’s heart couldn’t swell more, Oliver winks at her and causes her legs to go limp.

Felicity decides to be bold and suggests breakfast and for the next couple of hours they enjoy each other’s company and the view.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Chapter 4

Later that day Felicity and her girlfriend are at the movies when she gets a text from Oliver.

Hey, Felicity. Hope I’m not bothering. I was thinking about you, what are you up to?

Before Felicity can reply she receives another text from Oliver.

“And not in any creepy kind of way.

Felicity replies, I am happy to hear from you. What are you and Roxy up to?

We are cooking lunch. Would you like to come over and join us? That is if you are not busy?

I would have loved to but I am at the movies with my friend Caitlin.

Oliver asks disappointedly, Maybe next time?

Definitely.

Caitlin leans over and whispers to Felicity, “Why the big smile? Who was that?”

“Oliver, the bike guy.”

“Oh, that hottie? Some kind of friend you are. You have not taken one picture of him yet.”

“And when exactly am I supposed to do that with being on the bike with him? A selfie?”

“See now that’s my girl. You will find a way if you want to.”

“shhh and watch the movie.”

^^^^^^^^^^

Felicity is in bed still thinking about the morning ride with Oliver when she decides to text him.

Hey You, how did lunch go?

Really good, just messy. Cleaning up afterward while Roxy took a nap wasn’t as much fun.

I can imagine. So when will you give me those bike lessons?

I was thinking tomorrow actually. There is one more bike we can test drive and then you can make your choice.

Okay, now I am really nervous.

You are going to do great. We will take it slow and until you’re ready.

See you tomorrow?

^^^^^^^^^^

The next morning Felicity meets Oliver at his shop for their morning drive. This time they get on the

Harley-Davidson Sportster XL883L.

This bike feels a lot to felicity like a cruise bike, comfortable and light.

The minute she gets on she remembers Caitlin’s remark so before Oliver can start the bike she blurts out.

“Can we take a pic together? If you don’t mind. I just thought it would be a nice to have seeing as this is the day when I choose my bike. A momentous occasion and all.”

“Okay.”

Felicity takes out her phone and Oliver has to lean back so her short arms can reach in front of him.

Oliver’s smell is so intoxicating that Felicity almost drops her phone. This man is a serious hottie. She hopes everything she is feeling is not obvious to Oliver. And just before she takes the selfie she looks at him and finds him looking at her. She realises then that this is so much more than just a bike ride. She has been getting to know Oliver these past few days and she has shared a lot more about herself than she would normally after just meeting someone.

“Ready?” Oliver asks.

“So ready!”

This time feels so different to Felicity. She can feel Oliver lean into her a bit more. His abdomen doesn’t feel as tense as if he is afraid she might fall or get hurt. His body language is speaking silent messages to hers to relax. And she finds herself leaning into him a bit more. Instead of gripping his side she relaxes her hands a bit more and holds him more firmly.

“This I can get used to. Anytime, every day, if it is Oliver.” Felicity thinks to herself.

Twenty minutes later they arrive at the shop and Oliver leads Felicity inside.

“These are the three bikes we rode, and I would highly recommend any of them. The choice however is up to you.”

Felicity looks from one bike to the other and can’t seem to decide. They all felt incredible to her but when it comes to what is important in terms of technicality, she is still clueless.

“I have enjoyed each of them and would love all three but can only afford one. You know a lot more about bikes than I do Oliver. Why don’t you choose one for me?”

Oliver stunned at Felicity’s request, shakes his head.

“No, I can’t possibly. I mean this is a lot of money we are talking about. I can only advise.”

“That is why I trust you to make the decision for me. You would know what is best. So, is that a yes?”

As unsure as Oliver is he says yes.

“Okay so that is sorted. When can I come and get it?”

“Give it three days. I will call you when it arrives.”

The next three days Oliver and Felicity don’t see each other. Felicity misses Oliver a lot and realises she has never missed Cooper this much. They have been speaking over text a lot, but she has only known Oliver for a week.  How can you miss someone so much? She finds herself daydreaming about him and cannot wait to see him again. She doesn’t want to come across as a love sick teenager but she really wants to see him again.

Just then Oliver calls her, for the first time in three days.

“Just checking if you have changed your mind because there is no going back now.”

“Hell no. I don’t know how I am going to sleep tonight.”

“I have to say the past three days have been very quiet for me. I missed your company.”

“Me to, made me realise how much fun we have been having.”

“Your bike arrived late this afternoon so how about coming over tomorrow morning at 8?”

“Don’t you have to babysit?”

“No, I am available. They decided to put Roxy into a day - care, or let me say Roxy has decided it was time to go to a day-care.”

Felicity laughs remembering how tenacious the little girl was on her last visit.

“Then I will see you tomorrow, but can we make it at 7? I will bring coffee?”

“In that case I can’t refuse you.”

“I would love it if you don’t,” Felicity thinks to herself.

“Okay till tomorrow.”

The next day felicity arrives at seven in the morning with coffee as promised.

Oliver greets her and without thinking takes her hand and leads her inside to a bike covered under a cloth.

“Seeing as this huge decision was left up to me, I decided to get you the Suzuki Marauder GZ125 but I had some extra work done on it. I hope you like it but no pressure.”

“Felicity please brace yourself for your first wheels.”

Oliver pulls off the cloth and Felicity cannot believe her eyes.

In front of her is a much more beautiful version of the Suzuki Marauder they rode earlier on.

“I thought of getting it sprayed a light purple metallic colour. I thought the colour would look great against you. Also, it is light and agile and it is long and low to provide you with a spacious seating position. This and the deeply padded and well contoured saddle ensure a comfortable ride for you and your passenger, especially on the long road.”

“Wow Oliver.” Felicity throws herself into Oliver’s arms.

“This is way better than I could have chosen for myself. I love it! Thank you so much.”

Oliver wraps his arms around Felicity and loves her smell. He has gotten used to having her smell on him long after she has left and he wouldn’t want it any other way.

Neither of them break the contact when Felicity decides to not be inappropriate and instead says,

“you are a really good hugger Oliver, Diggle has some serious competition.”

Oliver cannot help but feel so good at her remark. She likes his hugs!

“You should definitely tell John that.”

“I have something else for you.”

Oliver leaves the room leaving Felicity to get onto her new bike.

When Oliver walks in he carries a leather jacket with “SMOAK” embroided on the back.

Felicity who is overwhelmed cannot help it when a tear escapes. And before she can wipe it away Oliver raises his hand and does it for her.

“I hope it doesn’t look that bad or do you have a thing against leather?” Oliver says trying to make her smile.

“No, it’s not that. This is so much more than I could have asked for. You haven’t known me for long, but you have made so much effort with me and now the bike and the jacket. It’s just more than I expected. You believe in me. You don’t even know if I will get this bike thing right or not but you supported me and got me this unbelievable bike. You must believe in me.”

Oliver raises his palm to Felicity’s cheek.

“Why wouldn’t I? You are determined, and you are not alone. You can do anything.”

“Thank you, Oliver.”

 Felicity cannot help but close her eyes trying to savour Oliver’s palm against her cheek.

“Are you ready to take your bike on the road? Get that jacket on Smoak.”

Oliver pushes the bike outside and parks it for Felicity.

Oliver tries not to stare at Felicity, but she looks so hot with the leather jacket. It is a sin for a woman to look this good. Today he will work up the guts to ask her on a real date.

The leather feel gives Felicity the confidence and when she gets onto the bike, she feels invincible.

“I am going to sit behind you and then guide your hands and then we will see if we can pull off slowly.”

“You will be with me the whole time right?”

“I will be right here with you. Trust yourself, you’ve got this.”

 “Ooh this is heavier than I thought it would be.”

Oliver moves in behind Felicity and for the first time feels her small frame and realises as spunky as Felicity is she is also fragile and small and he instinctively wants to protect her and keep her safe. Suppose that is too late with him teaching her how to ride a bike.

“Nah you’ve got this.” Felicity cannot focus on anything but Oliver’s hands on her waist. Too soon he removes it and places it on Felicity’s hands on the bar.

“So, you keep the clutch in.” Oliver says while showing Felicity.

“That’s the clutch.” Felicity echoes.

“Brake here on your right and the gears are on the left, one down,” Oliver demonstrates by pressing on the lever with his foot.

He puts his chin on her shoulder causing whatever space that was left between them to no longer exist.

“Breathe Felicity, don’t pass out now. Give a little with the clutch and let go a little over here.”

The next moment felicity let’s go too much of the clutch and pulls away causing Oliver to slip of the bike. Oliver runs after her and jumps back on while saying “a little clutch a little break”, trying to talk her through it.

“Okay, okay I can do this.” Felicity says out loud more to herself than to Oliver.

Felicity pulls off again and this time a lot smoother and Oliver slowly let’s go of the handles as Felicity moves forward.

When Felicity gets it right Oliver lets out a loud whoo behind her. She cannot help but be proud of herself.

They drive like that for another few minutes when Felicity brings the bike to a stop.

“Wow that was my first Bike ride. I drove on my own.” she jumps off the bike without putting the lever of the bike out when Oliver does it for her.

Felicity can’t contain her excitement and the minute Oliver gets off the bike she throws herself into his arms.

“Thank you. I did it Oliver.  I did it. I am brave and not scared anymore.”

Oliver looks at Felicity and completely happy for her and before he can think twice he moves in to kiss her.

The softest, most intimate kiss and without a doubt one of the best kisses she has ever had.

Oliver pulls away and Felicity wishes she could have paused the moment for so much longer.

“I’m sorry Felicity. I shouldn’t have done that. I just…”

Before he could finish his sentence, Felicity moves in and kisses him back.

This time Oliver leaves no room for regret and savours every moment. He holds her face and deepens the kiss. And then for a moment pulls away and just stares at her, smiles and kisses her again.

They are not sure how long they stand like that, but Felicity doesn’t mind one bit.

“So that happened.” Oliver says and still holding Felicity’s face. Slowly he removes his hands from her face.

“Yes, I am happy it did.”

“Me too. I have been wanting to do that for a while now,” Oliver confesses.

He takes Felicity’s hand; “would you go on a real date with me?”

“And here I thought the time I was spending with you was like a date,” Felicity says coy.

“Oh trust me if I could it would have been. But now it is voiced.”

“Will you?”

“Of course. I just have to make sure. The Cooper guy?”

“Oliver for the three days I didn’t see you I realised how much I wanted to be with you. The one person I thought about was you, not Cooper. I think that says a lot.”

Oliver cannot help smiling.

“I was hoping you would say something like that. I want to get to know you Felicity. I have always been alone on my bike rides but the past three days when I went riding alone just felt empty without you. With you it has become so much better, and I don’t want to go back to that. Would you want to see where this thing between us goes?”

 “I would like nothing more Oliver.”

6 months later

Felicity and Oliver are cruising on her bike. Felicity driving while Oliver is holding onto her waist. Not because he must but because he loves how she feels. The past six months they have been spending almost every waking moment together and he just seems to want more. He spoke with John earlier to get his permission to propose to Felicity. Diggle has been the biggest support in their relationship and it felt only right to speak to him before he pops the question to Felicity.  He is proposing to Felicity today. His family loves her, he loves her and do not want to spend another day without her being his, completely.

Felicity pulls off to what has become their spot and they get off the bike.

“Babe you are taking your bends so much smoother now, nice control.”

“What can I say? I have an amazing instructor.”

Felicity moves closer to kiss him.

“And he is handsome, and strong, and loving, and perfect.” Felicity whispers against Oliver’s lips.

“Smoak, we might get fined for public indecency.”

“Nothing about this is indecent Oliver. So, what is it you wanted to talk to me about?”

“I have another excursion coming up and it will last for two months but after that I am thinking about focusing solely on the bike shop. I don’t want to be away from you longer than I must be. I am thoroughly Smoaked.”

I don’t anything else but your happiness. I know I can’t ask you to leave your job, as dangerous as it is. I know you enjoy what you do.”

“I did. What makes me happier is being with you. I want to build on our relationship because I am in it for the long haul.”

Oliver goes down on his one knee in front of Felicity and holds in his hand a beautiful ring that can only mean a proposal.

“Felicity since I met you, my life has changed for better. I know happiness now that I have never known before. I cannot even remember what my life was like before I met you. And I don’t want to imagine what it would be like without you. Felicity make me the happiest man alive and marry me?”

Felicity goes down on her knees in front of Oliver and places both hands on each side of his face.

“Oliver, you have taught me to be fearless and bold. When I am with you I want to live and live large. I cannot imagine tomorrow without you. Yes Oliver, a thousand times yes.”

“One day you will kiss a man you can’t breathe without and find that breath is of little consequence.” ― Karen Marie Moning

[naomi-l-tiessen-blog]

Things You Should Know Before Becoming a Writer

 Hellllllloooo everybody ~

Happy Thursday Blogday!

I had a rude awakening the other day. After wasting a great many hour on The Vlog That Never Was (see post, “The Adventure Continues...”), it occurred to me that 1) life is unfair, 2) it turns out that yes, I am indeed technologically challenged, and 3) there was so much to the writing world that I didn’t know and OH LORD was I unprepared. And as I sat slumped in front of my computer, arms clenched across my chest, my mouth twisted into a perma-frown, I felt cheated...how come no one told me about these things or, at the very least, gave me a heads up? What was I getting myself into? In my defense, it’s not like writing comes with some sort of warning/disclaimer label, but still...I was way over my head. 

Sound familiar?

Well, have no fear! I’ve got your back! Today’s blog is about 9 things you should probably take into account before diving head first into the Writer Pool. I imagine that there are many more out there, but these were the heavier-duty ones that you’ll, more often than not, encounter.  

1) You need to whore yourself to the social media world. For reals. And at first it’s going to be scary, but just do baby steps, and you’ll be fine. I started out with Instagram, Twitter, and Tumblr, and I’m still alive. Really, it shouldn’t even be scary! It’s not like the world is asking you to leave your house and socialize with real people. On the internet, the worst thing that can happen is an invasion of trolls. 

But honestly, the social media world is horribly important for a writer. How else will we get our name out there, market our book, promote ourselves, and seduce people with our awkwardness? I don’t know about you, but I had this really weird delusion that 1) I wouldn’t have to market myself until the publication day of my book, and 2) even if I didn’t market myself, people would still be interested in my book. Well, true, people MIGHT be interested, but chances of people even finding your book in the first place will be a hell of a lot slimmer if you don’t promote your stuff. I LITERALLY HAD NO IDEA that I had to put in promotional work before my book was even done. God, was I naive, and dumb, but mostly naive. 

And on that note….

2) Hashtags are your friends. Seriously. Use the shit out of them. They are a great way of connecting with other people with similar interests, or finding fellow writers, or potential beta readers and critique partners. I used to hate jumping on my Facebook and seeing people posting a single picture with, no joke, about 30-40 hashtags after it. But now that I’m actively on social media, I totally get it. Granted, the chicks that drowned my FB feed were using really dumb hashtags like “hair,” .... yes...yes you do have hair...good observation. Having said that, there are some really great hashtags out there: #WritingCommunity, #WritersofInstagram, #AmWriting, #NewWriter, to name a few. Don’t be afraid to test these waters and try some out. 

3) You need to be technologically savvy. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. THIS. Honestly, I need a lesson on computers. I have no idea how to create a website, or purchase a domain name. I don’t know the first thing about creating a vlog and posting it on my YouTube channel. I haven’t a clue how to edit videos, and how to format my word documents. And HOW the FUCK do I market my book when IT’S NOT EVEN DONE!? 

Word, Robb Stark, word.

4) You [sometimes] can’t just publish a book and immediately quit your day job. This might not be a shocker to some, but I was really delusional when I first started writing. I figured that as soon as I published my first novel, I could immediately resign from my position at the hospital and become a full-time writer. Well, as nice as that would be, it’s not really realistic, especially when you are relying on your day job for financial stability. The first authors convention I went to, every single author on the panel still had a day job, and to be honest, it blew my mind. I was like, “are...are they doing that on purpose?” Unfortunately, I never got a chance to have a 1-on-1 chat with any of them, but I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that none of them seemed really driven to become a full-time writer. I mean....isn’t that the point for some? It is for me! The idea of being a nurse longer than I need to be is freaking torture, and I want to jump off that ship as soon as possible. But it’s going to take time. I need to remind myself that every day. Unless you are the next Tolkien, chances are it might take some time getting your feet off the ground. And that’s ok! It’s not a race, after all. Primarily, you need to look out for you, even if that means staying with your dead-end job in order to pay the bills. Don’t fret, just keep working by day, writing by night, and conniving during your sleep. Mind you, some people HAVE managed to accomplish the act of quitting their day job, so its not altogether impossible. And really, who doesn’t love a good challenge? 

5) It’s a long ass process. The writing itself can take years. YEARS. I started HBE back in April of 2014, and it’s STILL not done. And when I finally get around to finishing it, I’ll have the joys of editing, re-writes (and re-writes, and re-writes), and recruiting beta readers and critique partners. Depending on how many rounds of betas I want to do, not to mention how long they take to read my work, this can add on several more months to my writing timeline. Then there’s the professional editing. Not only are professional editors sometimes hard to hire in a timely manner, their process of going through your work can take large chunks of time. For this reason, it’s best to look into hiring one about 3-4 months before you are actually ready for them to cover your manuscript in red ink. And depending on which route you take for publishing, you’re going to have to deal with query letters (and waiting), submissions (and waiting), and contracts (and potentially more waiting). Bottom line: it’s not exactly an overnight sort of ordeal. 

6) It can be a bit pricey. Now, this might not apply to everyone (lucky buggers), but it definitely applies to moi, and I know that, for the most part, writers aren’t rich bastards. There are the typical expenses: hiring a professional editor, a book cover artist, and self-publishing. Granted, these are things that TECHNICALLY don’t have to be pricey, but in the long run, you might suffer because you weren’t willing to shill out another dollar. It’s sort of like a tattoo...if you pay for a $50 lion, you’re going to get a $50 lion. Trust me...that shit ain’t pretty.

If you are cheap when it comes to things like the cover and the editing, you’re going to end up with a book that doesn’t sell as well as you’d like. Talk about a bummer. 

Then there are the hidden expenses. These include things like: equipment to vlog (camera, microphone, not to mention an editing program), throwing giveaways for your followers, purchasing a domain name for a website, and *obviously* a computer to write on (unless you like doing long-hand...weirdo...). And while some of these aren’t exactly essential, they are still fairly noteworthy to take into consideration, lest you get the surprise of your life when it’s time to front the writing bill. 

7) Nothing is going to happen overnight. You can’t post your first blog before bedtime and expect to wake up the next morning a brand new internet sensation. You’re setting yourself up for failure and disappointment if you do this. It can take months before you scrounge up even the littlest following, and even if that following is your proud mother, sister, and loyal friend, that’s ok! Use this time to find your writing voice, what you want your theme to be (if you want one at all), and how you want to portray yourself on the internet (whether it’s through blogs, or vlogs, or Twitter, or Instagram, etc). Figure out who your target audience is, and work towards reaching out to them. 

One thing that will help your cause that you should definitely consider is the art of consistency. Post often, whether it’s little writer updates, excerpts from your WIP, or pictures of your work station. Have a playlist for one of your characters? Share it with the world! Have a character inspiration aesthetic? Post that shit! The things you post don’t always have to be writer-oriented, as well. Post things about your fur babies, or what you had for dinner, or about the epic dance battle you just held in your living room. And if you choose to jump into the blogging realm, make sure to pick a day to post, and stick with it. Obviously if that day stops working out for you (especially if you have shift work and don’t have much control over your schedule), let your readers know. But if you skip blogging for weeks at a time, sporadically posting here and there...well...no one likes a flaky blogger. That shit ain’t cool, and leaves everyone disappointed.       

8) Research will be needed. A lot of it. *Eye twitch*. Ok, if you’re a writer, you’re going to know that saying, “write what you know.” I’m going to call bull shit on that one. If we merely wrote what we knew, most of us would be writing about high school, and going to work, and completely mundane things. Uh, hello!? Writing is meant to be an escape from all that, right? I already have to go through the torture of 12 hour shifts being a nurse...what makes you think I want to write about it too? So, unless you live a wicked double life or something, chances are your life and what you know isn’t exactly writing material (no offence). If we simply wrote what we knew, how would we discover the elves of Rivendell, or the witches and wizards of Hogwarts? How would we write about mermaids, and dragons, and zombies, and vampires? Does that mean that I, a female, never get to write about men? Ever? Ok, ok, that’s a fierce exaggeration, but you get the point. 

However, on the flip-side, if you wake up one morning and are suddenly itching to write about a gay vampire during the American Civil War, or about a neurosurgeon that’s also a zombie, or about a police officer suspected of the murder of well-known celebrity, you might want to consider doing some research. If you don’t, chances are, you might come across as ignorant, not to mention offend some people. However, research isn’t simply for the writing process. What genre are you writing in? Do you know a lot about it? What about POV’s? Past vs Present Tense? If you aren’t well-educated on even these types of things, people are going to notice. Joy.

9) Writing isn’t the only *hard* part…and screw anyone that says “writing is fun! And easy!!” ….cue hardcore eye roll.

Seriously, anyone that says this is a freaking liar. Yes, writing is fun, but not ALL the TIME. There are times where it’s hard as fuck, where you have been suffering from Writer’s Block for what seems like an indefinite amount of time, where writing is literally the last thing you want to do. There are times you are going to think you aren’t good enough, or smart enough, or brave enough to write an entire novel, let alone publish it.  You’re going to want to quit a million times, and some days, it’s going to be really hard finding a single reason to keep going. 

And not only that, if you had the expectation that things would get easier after your manuscript is complete...boy, you are in for a rude awakening. After finishing your novel, you’ll have to deal with the repetitive process of editing and drafts till you want to punch yourself in the face. Then there’s the critique partners, beta readers, professional editors, cover designers, agents, contracts, and publishers. Honestly, that’s just to name a few obstacles; I could keep going. You’re going to have to deal with criticism, receiving positive and negative feedback, and not to mention trolls (who have no souls and like making people cry for fun). Depending on which route you take to publish your work, you might lose some control of your novel baby, and won’t get much of a say as you’d like.      

Are we having fun yet??

And there you have it! I hope that these pointers are as enlightening for you as they were for me, and that perhaps I can save you some grief, and hoarse vocal chords (from…you know…screaming with consuming frustration into the abyss). Also, keep in mind that writing is still a great adventure, and honestly, if it were easy, everyone would be doing it. But it’s not. It’s hella hard, and takes a special breed of human to be up for the challenge. I applaud you, human! Go you!

And yes, I’m still hoping to throw a vlog out there one of these days :)

With that said, I post new blogs every Thursday, and if there is anything you’d like me to discuss, feel free to message me on here, or tweet me @ScarletteStone

Until next time,

Happy Writing!

[abbiegoesabroad-blog]

Solo Trips: the good, the bad, and the so much worse than ugly there isn’t even a word for it

Before leaving for my European adventure I came up with a number of goals that I wanted to accomplish while studying abroad. One of the most important things to me was going to a concert while I was in Europe. There were a number of reasons that I wanted to do this. First off, everyone knows that going to concerts is something that I love to do at home, so why wouldn’t I want to go to one in Europe? I have also learned that the types of crowds are different in each region in the US, so it made me wonder what they could be like in another country entirely.

Upon doing some research though, I learned that most bands don’t go to Italy. Unfortunately for me, the ones that do end up staying in northern Italy—usually Milan. I decided that a trip was worth accomplishing my goal and I compared my schedule to the bands that were touring in Europe. I found out that a band from Australia, With Confidence, was playing Milan. I love With Con and wanted to see a set that was longer than the five songs that I had the chance to see last summer. So I booked a hostel, a round-trip train ticket, and started planning a solo trip to Milan.

That being said, here’s my thoughts on traveling alone:

The Good: There are a lot of things that I enjoyed about traveling alone. First off, everything that I did, or every place that I ate at was my choice. Anyone who has ever traveled with a group before understands the pain of trying to make a decision on where to go or where to eat with multiple people. Since I was traveling alone, I got to do whatever I wanted. This was definitely my favorite part.

On my first morning in Milan I went to a Milan’s Cathedral. I used the underground metro system to get there. Upon coming outside, I just so happened to choose an exit that gave put me right in front of the cathedral. I was amazed from the very first glimpse.  

As I’ve done a few times on this trip I hiked up a never-ending flight of stairs (taking the stairs was cheaper than an elevator, I’m always one for a good deal), and got to see the city from above. I loved this especially because I was literally standing on the roof. The fact that off into the distance I could see these modern day skyscrapers while standing on a building that was built hundreds of years ago amazed me. I probably could have stayed up there all day but there was more to see in Milan.

Another convenience of traveling alone is getting to spend as much time as you want wherever you go. I don’t even know how long I spent people watching on top of the cathedral, or wandering in the Cimitero Monumentale, a famous cemetery. There were so many beautiful sculptures and mausoleums here that I felt like I could walk through it for an entire day and still not see everything here.

And finally, the concert. I arrived early to see the venue and get a good idea of where I was so that I could get back safely when I left. It was a small show and there probably ended up being around 150 people. The crowd energy went up as soon as the first band started playing and only stayed there for the rest of the show. I had a blast screaming along to the music. It felt great to do something that I love to do at home.

I can’t even put into words how much I missed concerts

The bad: I’ve learned a lot about Italian culture since coming here. Naturally all of this new knowledge leads me to draw comparisons to the States. One thing that is significantly different is that in Italy, many businesses are still family operated. This means that usually once or twice a week, at random times, the restaurant or shop will be closed. As you can probably guess, this is really frustrating when you research the best places in town, and then make the 30-minute trek all the way to a different part of the city, only to find out that they’re closed on Tuesdays. That’s just how it goes sometimes.

Sometimes a closed restaurant just means that you have to wander and find a new one. I got lucky by finding a very authentic pizza place. As you can see I was the only one on the upper level which made it a perfect spot for people watching.

Another difficulty I’ve encountered is the Italian language. When I was deciding where I wanted to study my first choices were English-speaking countries like Australia or the United Kingdom because I didn’t want the language barrier to be an issue. For the most part it’s not a problem. I know how to order what food I want at places and have mastered the subject on how to speak with outrageous hand gestures. Every once in a while though, I still have issues. The thing with these problems is that they’re always in awkward situations, like a museum worker telling you that you can’t enter an exhibit without a ticket; once that is finally conveyed then she’ll tell you the tickets are free. These situations always leave me feeling like I’m in trouble or did something wrong. I guess not knowing Italian is what I’m doing wrong.

Usually, if you can survive the language barrier it can lead you to some pretty cool things. At Castello Sforzesco I was lucky enough to see the sculpture that Michelangelo was working on during the final days of his life. I could probably write a blog entirely about this unfinished masterpiece but I’ll just say that I think I liked it even more than I liked the famous “DAVID”.

And finally,

The so much worse than ugly there isn’t even a word for it: My trip to Milan was actually my first trip that I’ve taken this semester that wasn’t organized by my school. This fact alone didn’t really intimidate me as I’ve been on my own planned trips before. Naturally I was going to be unprepared for a thing or two no matter how much time I took to pack, and research, and plan my trip. One of these things was bringing my passport. I was worried about carrying it around with me for the whole trip and potentially losing it, or leaving it at the hostel where it would be even less safe. I figured that since I always keep a copy of it with me, I would be safe with just that.

Wrong. So so so wrong.

My trip started off great, taking the fast train was really exciting to me. I really don’t understand why we don’t travel as much by train in the US. Anyway, I wasn’t too nervous about being alone until I got close to Milan. By the time I stepped off of the train I felt like getting back on and just going back to Rome. I really started wondering why I had decided to do this, and alone on top of it! Nevertheless, my preparation seemed to pay off as I knew exactly where to buy my metro pass, what line to take, and what stop to get off at. My confidence in myself grew as I got closer and closer to my hostel.

The guy working the front desk at the hostel was not much older than me, and did not speak a lot of English. The language barrier was a slight problem especially when he tried to tell me that without my physical passport I couldn’t check in. My immediate response to this was panic. I mean what are you supposed to do when you’re alone in a city that speaks a language that you don’t even know and your accommodations fall through at 11 o’clock at night? When I started tearing up the guy said that if I went to the police station and had them prove my identity (to this moment I still don’t know how I would have had to go about doing that), then I could stay there. So I ventured out into the dark again, and made it all the way to the police station only to find out the police station closed almost an hour before. I didn’t even know police stations could close. 

I spent the next 3 hours venturing from hotel to hotel, sometimes by foot and sometimes by taxi, hoping someone would let me stay with them. At the same time my parents were in Omaha trying to find and send me hotels to call. Each hotel I went to was either closed for renovation, closed for the evening (I didn’t even know that happened), or not even a hotel. At almost 2 AM I made it to a hotel that took me in and the nightmare was over. It was easily the worst experience of my life and I’m still slightly in disbelief that it actually happened to me.

Now that it’s thankfully over, here are a few conclusions I’ve come to: 

1.     I will never, EVER, go anywhere without my passport again for the rest of my life (maybe a slight exaggeration)

2.     Just because I’m old enough to go on a trip to myself, does not mean I’m too old to call my parents and ask for help, even if they’re 5,000 miles away and can’t do much to help

3.     Going on a solo trip is a HUGE confidence booster. I mean if I can manage not to die when I’m alone in a city that speaks a different language, is there anything I can’t do?

[fidelityjobs]

Home Office 101: Lessons from a WFH Newbie

By Daniel Picardo, Head – Compensation & Benefits, Fidelity India

Work from home is a difficult concept to explain. There’s no standard definition, and I increasingly find that based on the group you are talking to, the perception of what it means keeps changing. For example, my parents believe that I’m on a pretend vacation, the apartment watchman thinks I’m unwell, and someone even started a rumor that I’m founding my own startup. Fair assumptions, but all untrue.

The truth is, I was overwhelmed at the thought of working from home for an extended period. Some part of that is because I’m a creature of habit. When I get to the office, I like setting my bag down at my desk, walking over to the breakout area to fill my water bottle and then stepping out for the occasional coffee. I also like walking up to the cafeteria for lunch, which is a 30-minute slot blocked on my calendar. Working from home suddenly changed so much of that – most of which I was unprepared for.

WFH euphoria. Then reality.

Looking at some of the perceived advantages for a minute, this was an amazing deal – no commute, the option to sleep until five minutes before the first call starts, no real dress code (at least I thought so initially) and the chance to complete all those household chores that are usually saved for the weekend. Most importantly, the option of stretching out on my couch with my laptop and headset. Good deal, right? Wrong!

I have learned some valuable lessons over the last several days, and they’re probably going to stay with me for life.

1: Bending out of shape

Monday mid-morning. Two hours on the couch, working on my laptop, and I had a shooting pain in my neck leaving me in discomfort. Not to mention disappointment that this wasn’t as relaxing as I thought it would be. It was easy getting over the disappointment, but the discomfort needed some changes to be made. Without any option to add or modify my existing furniture, I turned to makeshift options – adding pillows to the seat of my chair so that I was at a comfortable height from the desk. This also made it easy to sit with my feet flat on the ground, just like in office. If we had to do this all over again, posture would be still be the first thing I would take care of. Tips: Adjust your furniture to suit your height using boxes, books or pillows (or anything else that does the job). This includes the height of your laptop and monitor.

2: Keep distance. Not just the social kind.

Office desks are designed to keep our computers at a certain distance from our eyes. Dining tables are designed to keep the food as close to us as possible. It is a simple design concept and is also where the problem lies. I started by bending over so close to my laptop that the 13-inch screen suddenly looked like a 21-inch monitor – and my eyes and neck weren’t ready for it. Online research and some friendly advice suggested that an improperly setup workstation can lead to tendonitis and carpal tunnel syndrome, both of which are musculoskeletal disorders that take time to correct. Tips: Try to align the height of your monitor/ laptop to the eye level/ slightly below and at an arm’s length away from your body. It allows for your wrists to be straight and your elbows to stay slightly bent.

3: The time to stand up is now

One of the things they don’t tell you about working from home is things can get more intense than at the office. You’re constantly choosing between pings on your phone, quick emails and that large meeting to attend on Zoom. The consecutive meetings don’t always end on time, and you find yourself jumping from one video conference to another. Tips: Consider standing up and taking your meeting. Stretch and walk around when you have a couple of minutes to spare. Do this as regularly as possible – your neck and back will thank you for it.

In conclusion: This is still a real job. Really.

There is some age-old advice that has proved very useful over the last several days that I’d like to share. Working from home is the new normal in times like these, and it means that this remains your real job, so please treat it like one. Small changes to make the transition easier could come in the form of making a small space for yourself in the corner of a room and calling it your workspace. It means informing your family that when you’re in that space, you’re at work. Dressing up for work isn’t a bad idea at all; research shows that it makes your WFH experience more productive. But most of all, it means taking care of your posture, hydration and movement so that you stay healthy and fit on your work-from-home days.

[namjoonchronicles]

Hm I contemplated sending this ask bc what if my dumbass says something wrong that makes u hate me forever. But fingers crossed lets hope that doesn't happen! So Namjoon posting abt the fact that he's an enfp took you by surprise and since you're someone who tries to understand a person before you try to write them, IT is a big deal. 1/3 -sa

Anonymous said: And you're absolutely allowed to speak your mind about that or anything else for that matter bc this is your blog. * I'm side-eyeing u @that anon* but please don't think that you've betrayed your readers by writing Namjoon as an introvert in your fics. Because you haven't betrayed US at all. If anything your fics make our day a lil better. 2/3 -sa

Anonymous said: Also good work on understanding that writing namjoon as an extrovert will be a challenge. By doing so, you're beginning to accept his change. Since you've begun to accept his change, now it's up to you whether you wanna take the challenge of writing extrovert namjoon or retract or do whatever you want to do. 3/4 -sa

Anonymous said: Just know and keep in mind that we, your lovely readers and national treasures will try to support you wholeheartedly. Because we are real ones aka ride or die hoes. Also if u think my asks kinda s*ck then don't reply, love ya xoxoxo 5/5 -sa

Anonymous said: Adfsdgs I just found out Min Yoongi and I are only three cms apart. @all Yoongi stans, y'all can catch your oppa and me looking at each other at eye level while french kissing 😘😘😘 -sa

This is........ making me feel things. I am very grateful that you can tell how disheveled I am about this extrovert introvert thing. I hoped that I woke up this morning to feel rather better than I did last night, but nope. I’ve opened and closed my writing document so many times, and I’ve cried twice in the span of 30 minutes, and my flu is back, I have a back pain and a social gathering tomorrow that I’m most likely unprepared for. Accepting Namjoon as extrovert and writing him as one will most likely be the death of this blog. 

I am just so very sorry. I’m so sorry... and that’s great news, you and Yoongi. He’s most likely always be home for you should you need him. Whereas mine, will probably get back to me in 3 working days, if I’m lucky.

[hellojessicabrown]

Back to Work + Getting Derailed Again

Good Morning Friends! Another week has come and gone so it’s time for a recap.

Let’s go back to last Monday which was my first day back to work. It had been almost 2 weeks since the last time I had worked out with any kind of weights and direction so I set my alarm for the normal 5:30am and got to it. I was a little worried about my back so I opted for a 30 minutes A Little Obsessed core workout. To my surprise I was feeling much better! I had some time to foam roll and then I hopped in the shower.

I know you probably think I’m crazy but I was ready to get back into a routine and there is nothing like a 9-5 to keep you on track. It also doesn’t hurt that I love my job. I spend the day helping people from all over with their missions to do good and there is never a time I don’t enjoy that. 

Jeremy was asked to sub for a volleyball league so the moment I got home I threw together dinner so that he could fuel up before playing. I made some easy tacos fajita style. When he left Ke$ha and I set off for a walk.

My new goal, especially after getting hurt, is to make sure every day I reach 10,000 steps. Even if that means running a circle in my house to hit it I’m going to do so!

On Tuesday morning I work up with a headache so instead of working out I prepped dinner so that I could do a booty workout when I got home from work. I chopped a whole orange pepper, 1/2 a yellow onion, 1/2 a red onion, 1 head of broccoli, 1 container of while mushrooms and two carrots. I also diced up two chicken breasts and popped them back into the refrigerator for dinner.

When I got home I really did not want to work out but I pressed play anyway and didn’t regret it. With dinner being prepped it took no time at all to throw together. As you may have seen on my Insta stories I forgot to make rice... I put everything else together and started on rice. Good thing brown Basmati doesn’t take that long to cook.

Jeremy had plans with one of his friends so I got Ke$ha into her harness and we set out on another walk. I couldn’t pass up the chance to hit my steps in 50 degree weather. That’s more like it St. Louis!

Wednesday morning rolled around and I could tell my back was starting to get sore. Instead of an arm workout I took a shower, cleaned up the kitchen a bit and started some laundry. I am still working on listening to my body. I made it my goal to hit an extra 5,000 steps if I wasn’t going to work out. I felt doomed by 1pm because I was only at about 2,000. It was time to kick it into gear! I ended up only getting in my original goal of 10,000 because that is when the week got derailed. 

I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle this part of the week. Would I want to talk about it? Would it be okay to talk about? I’ve decided it is all part of my journey so I am going to do what I can with it. 

While at work Wednesday I got word that Jeremy’s grandpa had been put in hospice. We were not sure the severity of it but had plans to go grocery shopping when I got home. We got through the list of random things we needed and then ended up back at home with a pizza and some chicken. 

After eating we got settled in for the night right before receiving a phone call that we needed to come say our goodbyes to his grandpa. It was like it happened so fast. One minute I was eating dinner and the next I was focusing on changing into clothes and driving to the hospice center. 

I only managed about 6 hours of sleep before getting up for work on Thursday. I spent the morning so sick to my stomach. A workout was also out of the question. Around 11:15 am I got the call that Jeremy’s grandfather had passed and that they couldn’t get a hold of him to tell him. I kicked into crisis mode and made the phone call I never wanted to be responsible for. I still cringe at how unprepared I was to deliver this horrible news. 

Thursday seemed to fly by in a whirl. I stayed at work until 4 pm and then went to have dinner with Jeremy and our friends Dan and Katie. These two. The real MVP’s in my life this last week. Just picking up all of our broken pieces. I cannot thank them enough for their friendship. Jeremy and I ended up playing volleyball for another team before our playoffs game. We lost but at that point, we were over that day.

Friday I decided to work because there was already people gone that day and I didn’t think I could stay home and do nothing. I posted that this was my lunch and then Jeremy ended up coming to have lunch with me. 

The yogurt ended up expiring and my granola bar I had as a snack the following Tuesday. It happens. That night Jeremy helped me put together a really nice memorial for the funeral the next day.

For a 3rd night in a row I running on less than 6 hours of sleep. The alarm went off at 6:30 am on Saturday and I was dreading the day. I got up and did my hair and took Ke$ha to daycare. She spent the day playing while we were out of town. I got back to the house by 7:10 am, got dressed and packed up all the things we would need for the funeral. We picked up Jeremy’s sister, hit the drive through at Starbucks and got on the highway.

Again, the day was a whirlwind. We made it home by 7pm. Thank goodness my mom is amazing and picked up Ke$ha from daycare for us. She was asleep in her bed when we got there.

I finally got some quality sleep from Saturday into Sunday, 10 1/2 hours actually! Jeremy and I decided to go looking for a ceiling fan for the bedroom and picked up coffee at Starbucks along the way. We also went to get his dad’s birthday gift and copy pictures from the memorial the day before. For lunch we stopped at Pieology for the first time. Our pizza had: Pineapple, Jalapenos, Chicken, Bacon and Garlic. 

We also tried a Alta Palla Sparkling Lemonade. 

When we got back to the house Jeremy’s cousin came over. That ended up being most of what we did Sunday night. He ended up spending about 8 hours with us.

While this weekend wasn’t our best I didn’t want to leave it out of the blog just because it might be easier. This is a very real sadness we are dealing with and I am so thankful to everyone who has helped us breath through the hard days. Hopefully I will have a sunnier recap for next week and starting this Friday I’ll be getting back to vacation posts starting with our trip to the beach with Ke$ha.

[littledonkeyburrito]

We all drank spiced rum coconuts on the deck at sunset

1. And you are? Tired but in a good mood

2. One thing a guy needs to know about you before you get into a relationship. That I’m rad as heck

3. What are you thinking about? Whether the wind will blow my drying laundry off the balcony 

4. What are you doing? Listening to music, and answering this thingo because I’m going out a bit later and if I start playing Skyrim now I probably won’t go out at all 

5. Like the movie Elf? Nah, I have this weird thing about Will Ferrell. I just don’t like him and I’m not even sure exactly why. Also in grade 5 one time the teacher made my whole class watch Elf. Like, she wouldn’t let us do anything else and half the class didn’t even want to watch that movie. 

6. What’s something about other people that drives you crazy? idk, unnecessarily rude people?

7. What are you wearing? Shorts and a singlet

8. It’s 3 in the morning… do your parents know where you are? They probably assume I’m either asleep or at work but they almost never know where I actually am because I haven’t lived with my parents in 6 years

9. Favorite flower? I don’t have one. Maybe sunflowers because the fields of them look pretty and they all face the same way and also the seeds taste good

10. Do you like chocolate? Sure

11. Ok let’s talk travel, do you like to travel? Do you even know me? Of course I fucking like to travel

12. Where have you been? Oh boy here we go. These are the ones since I’ve been an adult paying my own way. Otherwise there’d be a couple more from the europe trip my dad took me on when I was little. - Australia (I am australian) - Japan -China (and Hong Kong) - India - Spain (lived there) - Morocco - Andorra - France - UK - Costa Rica - Panama - Colombia

13. Next place you want to go? I want to move back overseas again but defs need to save a lot first and get a different job so I can transfer internationally. Would gladly move back to Spain, or to central america. Otherwise I would like to visit Mexico or Madagascar, or explore more of Costa Rica or Colombia. Peru would be cool too. Look, there’s just a lot of places, okay? And I need to go to them all, especially the spanish speaking ones.

14. What is something you MUST take with you when you travel? Passport, phone and wallet. Everything else is replaceable.

15. How do you like to travel? Cheaply. I stay in backpackers and eat street food. But I find it more fun like that anyway.

16. With someone, or alone? With someone or join a group tour if I’m solo. I’ve travelled properly on my own before and I just don’t end up having as much fun. I find it really hard to go to bars and restaurants on my own and I’m bad at making friends in hostels if I’m on my own. 

17. Do you dance in your car when there are other people with you? idk probably. @my friends, do I?

18. Best feeling in the world? There’s a lot of good stuff in the world, I can’t pick one.

19. Something that makes you smile? Thinking about that sailing trip I did from Panama to Colombia, especially when the dolphins swam under the boat and when we all drank spiced rum coconuts (we had just collected the coconuts off the beach of a tropical island and swam them back to the boat) on the deck at sunset

20. Favorite scent? I’ve always really loved the smell of laundry powder. When I was a teenager, I did most of the laundry at my mum’s house and I would always take a whiff of the powder before I put it in the washing machine.

23. Say you wanted coffee.. what kind is your favorite? I don’t like coffee

24. Do you mind people asking you personal questions? Depends on the question, but not usually

25. You have a tank of gas, $50, and the day off… what do you do? Well, I have that today and I’m gonna go to bunnings to buy an aloe vera plant, target to buy a bedside table and then I’m gonna play skyrim into the night.

26. Favorite tv show? Currently: iZombie, B99, Jane the Virgin

27. Something you keep in your car? Work stuff - hard hat, raincoat, hivis vest

28. If you need a hug at 3 in the morning, who do you ask? That has never happened. Mostly because I’m really not much of a hugger

29. Something you do everyday that you wish you didn’t have to do? Fit all my food into my lunchbox for work like I’m playing fucking tetris

30. What do you do when you like someone? Tell my group chat, and nothing else basically

31. Do you mind if people just show up at your house unannounced? Just send me a message like literally 5 minutes beforehand, otherwise you’ll get me gross and unshowered and unprepared for social contact

32. Do you enjoy rain? Yes, unless I’m trying air out my apartment

33. Who’s your favorite person in the whole world? There are many good people but I think shoutouts gotta go to my mum, and @aturinfortheworse @intimidatethevoid​ and @thefreegladelancer​ for being rad in the group chat and always listening to my bullshit

Medical 34. How many surgeries have you had? None.

35. Do you have a doctor that you see regularly? I did finally find one that I like but now I live on the other side of the city so I could either drive 20 minutes to see her (genuinely considering it) or try and find another good one. Not that I go to the doctor much

36. Do you have health insurance? Did in spain because it was a requirement of my residency but don’t need it in australia.

37. What are some medical issues you’re currently dealing with? Dermatitis is being a little bitch.

38. Why did you last take pain medication? 13 hour shift at work yesterday that I had to stand up the whole time for. Panadol takes the edge off the pain in my feet a bit.

Biological 39. What physical traits have you inherited from your father? A lot. I look more like my dad but have a personality more like mum. Most noteably, probably hair colour

40. How about your mother? tiddies

41. Do you have any children? Hell nah

Geographical 42. Where are you, right now? In my study

43. What country were you born in? UK

44. Where were you raised for most of your life? Australia.

45. What parts of the world are your ancestors from? Western Europe

46. What’s the closest major city to your hometown? I live in a major city.

Zoological 47. What is your favorite animal? all of them

48. Do you have any pets, and if so, what kind and what are their names? I do not have any pets, but friend lives around the corner and has a fantastic grey cat called Chekhov. Here he is:

49. Have you ever had a strange pet, outside of the normal animals people keep?  I had rats as a kid. And for a little while I kept a bunch of grasshoppers I caught in the garden.

50. When was the last time you went to the zoo? I think the last zoo I went to was in Madrid which would have been in June/July

51. What’s the last wild animal you’ve seen in person? Bat

Psychological 52. Do you have any mental disorders? No

53. Do you take anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds? No. I probably would have benefited from antidepressants a few years ago but I didn’t quite realise at the time and I am a-okay now

54. When is the last time you saw a therapist or psychologist? Primary school. No wait, he was a counsellor. Maybe never then

Astrological 55. Do you believe in astrology? No 56. What is your star sign? Gemini

57. When’s the last time you read a horoscope and it actually came true? I don’t read horoscopes. They’re always so vague and broad anyway

58. What are your best friends’ signs? No idea

59. Do you think people act differently when there’s a full moon? I've never paid attention

Physical 60. Would you consider yourself to be in shape? Nah

61. When’s the last time you went for a walk or went jogging? I gotta walk a fair bit at work, I also hike sometimes when I travel. Never jog.

62. What is your favorite work out? Probably sex tbh

63. How many times have you had sex in the past month? In the last month, maybe two or three times?

64. Do you play any sports? No

Environmental 65. Do you recycle? Not really

66. Do you drive an electric car? No

67. What are your opinions on global warming? No opinions other than that it definitely IS a thing

68. Does your country use solar energy or wind power at all? A little but nowhere near as much as we should. Australia has a huge coal mining industry and they don’t want to lose (read: earn a bit less) money

69. What do you do to make the world around you more environmentally friendly? I only drink out of reusable water bottles.

--- 70. Are you wearing any type of outerwear now (e.g hoodie, jacket, cardigan etc.)? No.

71. Does your guy have any kind of facial hair? I am single

72. Is the lead actor in the last movie you watched hot? The last movie I watched was Shaun The Sheep so....

73. Does the ceiling in the room you’re currently in have any obvious cracks? No.

74. Are you wearing any hand-me-down items now? No

75. Do/did you name your stuffed animals? I used to name some as a kid. But now I only have my unnamed blue bunny that I sleep with, and a teddy named Eiffel that my dad got me from paris when I was a kid

76. Can you play at least just ONE chord on the guitar? You’d wanna hope so:

77. Do you use the default earphones that came with your music player or did you go and buy new ones? When I use earphones I use the ones that came with my phone. Otherwise I use headphones.

78. Do you know someone who actually married their high school sweetheart? And divorced less than a year later.

79. Do you pump up the bass as far as you can on your music player? No.

80. Do you always remember to remove your makeup before going to bed? I don’t wear makeup very often and when I do it’s just foundation and I forget to take it off before bed

81. Have you ever broken your toe? No

82. Do you have a specific ringtone for different people on your cell phone? No, I like to keep the mystery alive

83. Is the song that you’re currently listening to a sad song? idk I’ve never really listened to lyrics properly and I can’t be bothered trying to translate them atm (it’s in spanish)

84. What’s one very significant difference between you and one of your siblings? I’m not a dick. Side note, the other night at work my brother made me cry and then gave me a handful of mini snickers bars

85. Do you know anybody whose last name is a colour? Half of mine is a colour

86. If you become famous one day, would you still keep your personal Myspace/Facebook/whatever? I have no idea. Probably but I’d increase the privacy settings also have a public account

87. When you like or dislike something, do you make sure your friends know about it? My group chat basically knows my every thought, whether they want to or not.

88. Do you think braces are sexy? No, but they aren’t common among my peers because I’m not a teenager

89. What were you for Halloween in first grade? Didn’t do halloween

90. Last person to make you seriously mad? Would’ve been my brother. It’s very rare that I get angry at all but he manages it so easily.

91. Do you get scared easily? idk not really

92. Do you cry a lot? Hardly ever

93. Have you seen UP? The first movie I ever cried in

94. How is your mom? Mum’s fine. She’s going to russia in a few weeks and she’s really excited

95. What were you doing this morning at 1am? Watching netflix with a friend

96. Have you used a tissue today? No

97. Were you honestly a good kid? Yeah

98. Do you blow dry your hair? Not at the moment because I don’t currently have a hairdryer

99. How was your Friday? I have no idea what I did on friday. I was probably working.

100. Is anything wrong with your eyes? They’re a lil bit shit. I’ll go see an optometrist at some point. Probs in like a year tbh

101. Do you know anybody with the same middle name as you? no

102. When is the last time you were in a swimming pool? October

103. Is there something you’re looking forward to? I’m seeing the american idiot musical with my mum next week

104. What were you almost named? Francis Alexandra. Ma wanted me to be Frankie Alex which honestly would have suited me so well. If I was a boy maybe Luke or Max

105. What pair of shoes did you wear today? Haven’t worn shoes yet but will probs wear my maroon van type shoes that cost me something like 5 euros

106. Have you done anything sneaky lately? Only in Skyrim

107. Have you kissed or hugged anyone today? Yep. And a bit more ;)

108. What are your plans for the weekend? I have no idea when the weekend is. Don’t know what day it is now, all I know is that I don’t have work today or tomorrow.

109. Do you have good car insurance? I have the cheapest car insurance available.

[luckybouquetnachous-blog]

Southwest Airlines Low-cost Flights

Vacationers on a funds can actually discover cheap motels in Hong Kong as of late. It is good for a big family, or group, as it sleeps ten people and includes such luxuries as a scorching-tub, video games room, sports court docket, and multiple fireplaces, and great views looking out over the water in the direction of the snowcapped mountains to make your keep truly special. If there is obvious harm accomplished to your baggage immediately take it to the airline customer service middle to report it. And what's extra, they will nonetheless provide loads of helpful details about the locations you are going to you can't discover online, for example about firm/hotel reputations. 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[thenegativethreepercent-blog]

My Introduction/Beginning of a Story Thing?

Hey anyone who might see this! Kale Salad here (that’s my nickname, if you’re in need of context). This is our Tumblr, and if you read our description, you know we made this blog because we have a YouTube channel! Coincidentally, I am a helplessly sentimental person who likes to think I’m good at writing things late at night. So if anyone (for whatever reason) is interested, I’ve started writing a lil thing about the three of us going off to college. None of what I write has happened (yet); it’s more of an imagining of how I might think things will go and I thought some people might enjoy it. Another thing: I used our (decently odd) nicknames in it so I don’t embarrass myself. If you’re interested, keep reading! Chapter one is below. :)

The night before we left for our pre-college road trip, I was a complete mess.  Everything I could possibly take with me on the journey that my two closest friends, Milano Cookie and Deli Sandwich, and I were about to make from Kodiak, Alaska, where we had grown up, down to San Francisco was stowed safely in my suitcase and ready to go. However, being myself, I found countless things to be stressed out about the night before, as usual.  We had been planning this one last escapade before we headed off to college together in California for months, and yet a million unanswered questions hovered at the back of my mind: what if we get lost on the trip and what if we go over our budget and is any of this a good idea at all and, most worryingly, what if trying to be an adult goes horribly wrong? After I had written my umpteenth to-do list and inevitably scrapped it, I forced myself to relax.  It was already 1:30 a.m. and, if I wasn’t careful, my obsessive need to plan was going to keep me from waking up at five in the morning for our flight.  I laid on top of my covers for a while, trying to get to sleep, but after almost an hour of this with no success, I gave up and reached for my phone, intent on texting Milano or Deli.  Although there was a slim chance that either of them were still awake, it quieted my anxious thoughts to try.  

Hey, is anyone awake? I typed into our group chat and set down my phone with a sigh.  I got a response from Milano within five minutes.

Yep, I neglected to pack until now.  Kinda panicking. You? I giggled under my breath, feeling myself settle down a little.  It felt good to know that my friends felt just as unprepared as I did.

I’m freaking out a little too. My obsessive-compulsive nature is keeping me up.  But I’m sure we’ll be okay.

Yeah. This is scary, but we’ll survive this. Plus, we have the whole Summer ahead of us to screw around before we actually buckle down for college. Think about all the fun things we have planned! Remember what our first stop is...;)

Another wave of anxiety mixed with excitement crashed over me as I remembered what we – I –  had planned for that first road trip stop. I exhaled shakily and hoped that the Melatonin I had taken earlier would kick in soon, whisking me off to sleep where my doubts might leave me alone for a little while longer. Finally, I typed a reply: Oh god. Is stopping there even a good idea at all? I haven’t seen them in years. What if things are different and weird? Please give me a pep talk.

Milano responded almost immediately, forever my fast-typing savior: I know you’re nervous, but you’ll be okay. :) You’ve kept in contact with them, so it’s not like you two are total strangers. At the very least, think of it an occasion to catch up. It’s just coffee. They asked you, remember?

She was right. That’s all it was – reconnecting over coffee. I was just meeting them as an old friend, and trying my best to forget the fact that we had some pretty serious history (oh god what was I thinking?). But none of that mattered anymore. I tried to ignore the thoughts in my head about the amazing time we had spent together in the past. Tried to pretend it was just coffee to me too. I chewed a piece of skin off my lip as I replied. Yeah, I guess I’ll figure it out. Thanks. We should probably sleep now, or we’ll miss our flight lol. See you early tomorrow! 

I forced myself to take slower breaths as I turned up my music and closed my eyes again. I would deal with my irrational doubts and fears about our plans in the morning. For now, I needed my sleep. We had a big summer ahead of us.

-

I woke up to an alarm I had set the night before, a horrible techno song I had liked for some reason in middle school, blaring unapologetically in my ear. I groaned and, while contemplating all the different ways I would like to murder my past self and/or cruelly destroy my phone, rolled out of bed and stumbled to the light switch. I checked my messages as I walked to my dresser, blinking sleep out of my eyes – from the night before, there was a response goodnight text from Milano, as well as three from Deli, a few minutes earlier that morning, asking us “why were you guys up so late in the chat wtf and also yes Kale you’ll be fine and also probably get laid shut up nerd”. I snorted – this was why I was spending college with these two.

Preparation to leave that morning went by pretty quickly, and I was surprisingly calm the whole time, probably from the shock of it all. I threw on an oversized sweater and leggings, haphazardly brushed my teeth and hair, and hauled my suitcase up the stairs. Outside in the dark of too-early morning, my friends were waiting for me in Deli’s beat-up, piece-of-shit red pickup truck, the headlights cutting a path through the mist in the air. Deli, as always, had her Spotify playlist blasting way too loud, and even though it wasn’t her car, Milano was at the wheel. I could imagine her convincing Deli to let her drive, saying with a giggle that she didn’t want us to be run off the road and die in a ditch by Deli’s terrible driving, thankyouverymuch. I smiled at that moment and knew that I had made the right choice in going on this road trip with them. There were no two people I’d rather spend my summer with. Before I rushed out the door, my parents both gave me tearful hugs, promising to mail me the rest of my stuff in a box once I got settled at Stanford in the Fall. I would miss them, but I knew it was time to leave that island I had grown up on behind.

I ran out to Deli’s pickup, threw my suitcases in the flatbed with the rest of my best friends’ things, and told Deli, who was in the passenger’s seat, to scooch, because I was not sitting with our luggage. When I opened the door, Milano grinned and handed me a can of Redbull. “Here’s your life support. I was smart enough to raid Safeway before Deli picked me up.” She jokingly rolled her eyes, smiling wider, and nudged Deli with her elbow. I sighed in relief, beaming at Milano, and took the can, thankful that I had friends who were aware of the extreme importance of artificial energy to my system at all times. Then, once I squished and maneuvered myself into the small space between Deli and the car door, we were off. It seemed almost like one of our many late-night drives, except now there was a strange and new excitement in the air, as if even the molecules were aware of our impending departure. All the way to the airport, we discussed the shops we would visit in Pike Place Market and what the lines would be like at Six Flags and how Deli was definitely going to buy me Dairy Queen once we got out of Kodiak because I hadn’t had it in years. When we finally got to the parking lot, however, we all drifted into silence. It was mostly empty of cars, since we had opted for the cheapest – and earliest – flight that day, and it seemed like the whole world was paused as we made our figurative and literal steps toward adulthood.

“Are you guys ready for this?” Milano asked, looking towards the gate, fiddling with the straps of her backpack. In that moment, I was sure that I was the readiest I had ever been, and Deli must have agreed, because we both nodded silently at Milano before the three of us continued to the entrance. A little coffee meetup was nothing if I had them by my side.

The flights were exhausting, but the Redbull kept me awake, so I spent my airborne time watching the sun slowly rise over the clouds, lighting them up with blinding pinks, yellows, and oranges. At our stop in the Anchorage airport, I started to get nervous, specifically about the “little” meetup for coffee that seemed less and less small and risk-free the closer our final flight came. Was I even ready for it? What if I said something stupid and offensive like I frequently did in normal situations? And what if things were awkward and unbearably different? It had been almost two years – I had no idea what might’ve changed in that time. I tried not to get my hopes up, afraid of being crushed again.   While all these thoughts darted through my head in rapid succession, I followed behind Deli and Milano, who were wandering aimlessly through the little shops and restaurants we passed in the airport, looking for neck pillows and a specific kind of chewing gum from Japan that Deli had seen once and wanted to try. I wished I could focus completely on worrying about the little details, like they were, instead of being stuck constantly thinking about someone who most likely had no intention of starting anything with me again. I shook my head, pushing those thoughts to the side, and jogged to catch up with my two best friends – I was going to enjoy this trip, coffee or not.

-

I let out an exaggerated sigh of contentment and fell back onto my hotel bed. It was around noon, and we had reached our Seattle hotel room at last. We had booked the room for eight days, hoping that would be enough to explore the city thoroughly.

My eyes were closed, but from my left, I heard Milano muttering. “How the fuck did you get this room for so cheap? The view is amazing and it literally has like five rooms.”

I cracked one eye open to see Milano gazing out the window at the buildings around us, and snickered quietly. “I’m a hotel witch, didn’t you know?”

Milano chuckled at that and padded into her room, connected to mine by a small door. She was right, the room was huge – it had a main room and a bathroom, with three separate bedrooms connected to it that were also connected to each other. The truth was that I had spent a fortune of my own money to book it – I wanted our only hotel stay to be memorable and enjoyable before we left our creature comforts and inhabited connecting buses for the rest of the summer. I closed my eyes again, which were startled open only a moment later as Deli hopped on my bed next to me and poked my cheek. I frowned and kicked her to make her leave me alone and let me sleep the day away.

“Hey, you have a date in about three hours and I’m pretty sure you don’t want to look like you just woke up from a nap.” She whispered, laughter in her voice.  I darted up, swearing under my breath and muttering that it wasn’t a date, just a meetup. As Deli scoffed and shook her head, I darted into the bathroom and turned the shower on. I still wanted to look presentable.