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achliegh · 4 years ago

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Could we see O and O's first big fight

LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE THE TWINS ARE GONNA FIGHT!!!!

Lol but yes 10. Olive and Otto’s first big fight has been requested and I am here to deliver!

TW/CW: Arguing, drama, feeling left out and unloved, feelings of favoritism, crying, tattooing.

Some Characters belong to @lumosinlove

Thanks to my clone @clearsuitcasecookienerd for listening to me try to figure this out

Let’s read!

Otto later on in life would say that this fight actually did mean a lot when he looks back on it. It was the start of him telling people how he feels instead of sticking to himself like he always did. It was an important fight and it was something that seven year old's fight about. Favoritism. Who favors which child more, it is very common with twins at this age unless they are angels, it definitely took the parents by surprise.

Winter 2023

Leo was watching Olive skate around the rink after her practice ended, she always needed to cool down afterwards, he taught her well. The schedule worked out so that Leo would pick up Olive and discuss hockey with her on the way back to her mothers house. Ink doesn’t understand hockey at all so it lets Olive talk about her hobby without trying to explain everything at the same time.

Ink having been a performer though loved talking to Otto about figure skating because her and Leo were cheerleaders. They understood the importance of loving what you do to be able to pull off a great performance. Somedays Ink would run late from tattooing to pick Otto up and he would be the last one at the rink with the coach.

Leo was never late to pick up Olive though, for some reason that really stuck in Otto’s little brain.

Leo would talk to Otto about figure skating but Olive would always but in to talk about her hobby and little Otto wouldn’t say anything, he would just sink into the background and let her talk. It hurt even if he wasn’t emotionally mature. Even if he was still a little kid he saw how everyone adored his sister, the Lions would actually start conversations with her instead of waiting for her to talk first.

“Olive how is practice going”

“Olive did you decide on what position to play.”

“Olive if you need any advice on how to skate fast just ask.”

“Olive, you’re gonna be the greatest player one day.”

“Olive”

“OLIVE!”

It started to irritate Otto going to family dinners after traveling Lions games, so he started to stay home with June. She was quiet and knew how to talk to Otto like he wasn’t inferior to his sister. Like he was… an only child. He loved his parents but sometimes they are dumb.

It all came to a halt one day when a Sunday dinner turned into a full on fight. Sundays were when Leo would come over to Ink’s house and eat dinner as a family. June would go over to the apartment with Finn and Logan and do whatever they wanted. But Sundays were family days.

“Daddy, I have decided to play defenseman!” Olive smiles at him brightly, proud of herself. She had some BBQ sauce in the corner of her mouth and her hair was falling into her plate. Otto rolled his eyes and rested his cheek on his fist, elbow on the table just punching his food around.

“Put your hair up Olive, it's getting in your food. That's great honey I’m proud of you.” Leo smiles at her, the same spot on his face also has BBQ sauce. “Otto, elbow off the table Bud.”

A sigh comes from Otto and he slams his fork down sassily removing his elbow from the table. Crossing his arms and glaring down at his plate. Ink and Leo share a look of confusion, then, look back at Otto. Ink sets her fork down gently.

“You alright there Bud?” She looks at him a little worried and it makes him even angrier.

“What do you care?” Ink is taken aback by this, normally Otto is the sweetest child you have ever met. This attitude is new. “It’s not like I’m the star player of a stupid game.”

“What are you talking about?” Leo furrows his brow trying to figure out what's going on, as any parent would say. He doesn't have a favorite kid just like he doesn’t have a favorite boyfriend. Olive just talks a lot more than Otto, did he miss something.

Otto scoffs and looks Leo in the eye. “I know you like Olive more than me… Everyone does.” He looks back at his food as tears form in his eyes but he doesn’t want to show them that it hurts. “It’s always ‘Olive this’ and Olive that’! She-she talks over me and no one ever talks about figure skating with me except for mom and she doesn’t even understand it! She compare it to cheerleading when it really is the only way I can talk without talking! Olive is a good hockey player like dad so everyone talks to her like she is the most amazing person to ever exist and they all forget about me! The team, my friends, the school… My own parents!” Tears are now streaming down his face and he angrily wipes them away.

“You make everything sound so bad! When you were sick and got everyone attention I didn’t care!” Olive snaps at him and glares at him with the Icey stare she is known for. Everyone always says her eyes are scary while Otto's are sweet. Yet still more people talk to Olive.

“I hate you!”

“I hate you more!”

“Hey! Hey!” Leo watches as Otto shoves his plate away and storms off to the room he stares with his sister and slams the door. Ink has her head in her hands massaging her temples. “I’ll go talk to him after he cools down, but you” He turns to Olive “That was uncalled for, Otto getting sick was not us giving him more attention because we ‘loved him more’ or whatever is in your head. He got more attention because we didn’t know if he was going to live.”

Olive is looking down at her plate and looks up at her parents with the biggest, saddest eyes they had seen in a while.

“I didn’t mean to say that- I don’t know why I did.” She sniffles and wipes her nose on her sleeve.

“I know honey, but you will have to apologize to your brother. This is something that makes him feel really bad. What we should do, instead of hurting someone because they said something out of anger, is let them get all the emotion out until they are ready to talk. Okay?” Ink wasn’t sure how she should explain the way she handled people to a seven year old but this was all she could think of. Olive nods, wiping her eyes and then putting her hands in her lap just looking at them sadly as the words she said keep flowing through her head. “It’s okay to feel bad about things we saw, but we do need to do the proper actions after to clear our heads, and this time it would be to apologize.” Olive nods again.

“I’m going to see if Otto has calmed down at all.” Leo stands, walking to the door that was just slammed. He knocks twice and hears hard crying behind the door, his heart hurts as he listens to his child gasp and sob into a pillow or his teddy bear. He can hear the soft mumbling of the team and knows Otto is listening to the build a bear from his fourth birthday. Leo hadn’t seen the bear in a while. “Otto, can I come in?”

“Y-yeah” Otto hiccups, he is sitting on his bed under the covers with his back against the wall, his Lion being held tightly to his chest. Pressing the paw every once in a while because he misses the team like this. He feels Leo sit next to him but doesn't get under the covers with him.

“Want to talk about it?”

“I just feel really lonely” Leo sighs silently and rests his head on the top of Ott’s. The cover being a barrier between them. “I just want people to talk to me like they do Olive, no one hesitates to talk to her, or tell her how good she is. You and mama never tell her to not talk over me. I feel like I’m not here sometimes.” Otto began to cry again leaning into Leo’s side.

“I didn’t know we were doing that, I’m sorry.” Leo wraps his arms around the figure leaning into him and kisses the top of his head. “How come you didn’t say anything.” Leo should have noticed this going on, now that he thinks about it, Olive really does take up most of his time. He feels horrible for not noticing. Maybe he would talk to Dumo about this.

“I didn’t want to be annoying.” Leo hums', he knows that feeling. They sit there for about twenty minutes, until Otto uncovers himself and hugs Leo fully. “I gotta say sorry to Olive, I feel really bad.” Leo nods and gives Otto a squeeze before they get up and walk towards the door.

From that day on Otto let people know what he was feeling.

#leo knut #o’knutzy #remus lupin #sweater weather #wolfstar au #o'knutzy #logan tremblay #finn o'hara #sirius black #coops

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twilightknight17 · 4 years ago

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So I fell asleep last night before I could make the post, but I got P5 Scramble yesterday and I’m having a blast so far. ^_^

I’m probably going to go through it the same way I did my Royal playthrough, so if you don’t want to be spoiled, don’t click through on these posts!

Before we start, I just want to mention that I don’t really know anything about the story. Somehow I’ve managed to avoid spoilers for an entire year except for a few small things.

I do know the identity of (who I assume is) Kyoto’s Jail Monarch. (Monarch is kind of a weird, formal word. I think I liked Jail King better. Or... Warden? Warden might have been the best choice.) ANYWAY, I think I know their identity, and by extension, I have a vague idea of why Shadow Joker exists. Other than that... You’re getting speculation and bullshit untainted by later plot revelations. XDDD

I did find it funny that when I booted the game up, I got a “No save data found, unable to start game” message. Like... no shit, PS4, it’s a brand new game. But the little starting tutorial fight was cool, and I liked the opening movie!

The police briefing was...interesting. It’s good to see them actually being somewhat logical? Like... considering everything that happened the year before, it makes sense that they’d assume this is the Thieves again. They have no way of knowing that there’s no way to access Palaces anymore. This isn’t really the Thieves MO, though. Except for the guy who confessed to document tampering. The author shredding his work for no reason and the guy streaking through the criminal justice headquarters don’t seem like they did anything wrong. Those seem more like psychotic breakdowns.

But... I guess we don’t know if the police ever knew anything about Black Mask, or if Shido was convicted on only real-world crimes and not the metaverse hits he ordered. I wonder if that’ll get elaborated on.

Zenkichi’s introduction was him laughing at the streaking guy in the middle of this Serious Police Meeting, so I think I’m gonna like him a lot. ^_^

Anyway, the “higher-ups” really want this case closed, according to “Commissioner Kaburagi”, who I already don’t like. If you’re the police commissioner, Makoto really would be a better choice, holy shit. She’s already prepared to go after Akira, who is the only Thief they know the identity of, so I guess that’s fair. But still. Has he not been falsely accused of enough for a lifetime?

Although... if you’re gonna look up all his life details, can you maybe... share some? Just a few things? Hometown? How are his parents? Anything?

Coming back to Leblanc was cute. Got some Trickster’s Maze vibes from the initial text conversation where they were talking about how people kept not responding to texts, but I think it’s all good. Love that the Sayuri is still on the wall, and that Morgana’s been home with Akira.

Naming the app “Emma” is never going to stop being hilarious to me, because reasons.

Y’know, Atlus, this would work a lot better if he could like...respond to their curiosity. At least these dialogue options seem to suggest that talking things out with his parents went well. Even “I missed you” isn’t inherently negative. He’d miss them either way.

.......so when my boyfriend gets back from his soul-searching vacation, he’ll be welcomed back with open arms, right, Ryuji? Right?

Meanwhile, for summer break plans, Yusuke wants to go to Kyoto for a month-long art tour. Unless...

Never change, dear. Never change.

Nice of Sojiro to water my plant and keep my room from drowning in dust, but he really couldn’t have replaced the bedframe with literally anything other than the plastic storage crates? XD The attic looks so empty and lonely without the shelves of trinkets and plushies, and the TV.

So my reaction to this next part was literally, “LAVENZA, IT’S BEEN LESS THAN 24 HOURS”. X’‘‘D Akira really can’t catch a break. But Lavenza’s dialogue sounded actually sad that he was being dragged into this again. And she’s promised repeatedly that she’s going to be there for him. It’s sweet, even though my room is still a prison and she’s still using torture equipment. Iron maidens, Lavenza, really??

I’m a little concerned that Igor’s not around, though. Lavenza did the dream/reality/mind/matter speech instead. Where is he? I know he’s never around for spinoffs but considering my headcanons I’m very curious now. And why didn’t he like... tell Morgana that Lavenza said ruin is coming again? Even if we don’t count thirdsem events, Morgana still knows that he’s Hope, and he still has a bond with the Velvet Room. Talk to your cat damn it.

Oh no, she’s cute and Alice-in-Wonderland themed. I’m doomed.

She called it her “EMMA keyword” and I immediately blurted “what? keyword??” and then everything went directly to Hell immediately. Keyword was the key word, I guess. X’‘‘‘DDD

And you can tell it’s been six months, considering that these nerds got caught almost immediately. And got their hands bound. And got dragged to the throne room and forced to kneel!

...I’m doomed.

Someone at Atlus looked directly at this fandom and all the fanart of the interrogation and said, “Yeah, they’d be into that.” XD Steppy steppy. At least she’s not a rapist like Kamoshida, but jeeze, we keep getting beaten up and thrown in the dungeon by royalty. All we need is a princess and we’ve got a whole royal family!

Although, I suppose the prince didn’t bother with a dungeon. XD

I think it’s interesting that apparently the guards tried to take our Desires and failed. I guess being a persona-user means your mental state is stable enough that something like that can’t manifest.

Oh no, she’s cute. I love her. Another for the collection of Joker’s baby siblings. This is number... 5? She kind of reminds me of Jose, a little. I’ll be interested to see what she is, since she’s got amnesia right now. She can’t be just a straight AI.

But if she’s Yald’s mom, I’m also going to be majorly weirded out.

I really like the gameplay? It’s so interesting to see how the characters move and fight when they’re not limited to turn-based attacks. And I like being able to jump to different points and use them to ambush enemies. I don’t fully understand all of it yet, and it’s hard for me to keep an eye on things like status ailments and my teammates because everything is so chaotic, but I’m sure I’ll get it.

I did die to a miniboss, and when I hit “return to checkpoint”, it gave me the prompt to select a language for the voice acting again. I dunno what was up with that. X’D And I’m baffled by the concept that you can just leave the metaverse and come back and it restores all your health and stuff. No penalty. Time doesn’t pass. You didn’t waste a day. Have the kids finally learned that we are capable of entering and exiting more than once on the same day? Hallelujah.

...this boy is angry that we have to deal with the Jails instead of having a BBQ feast. Never change, Yusuke.

If you go by the crepe shop in Shibuya, Morgana still doesn’t think you’re a crepe person. I’m so tired, Morgana. It’s also a bit weird and forced that Iwai and Takemi are both out of town. We couldn’t have seen at least one of them? I know we’re not gonna be able to use those shops when we’re on the road, but we could worry about that then.

(Disturbingly easy to return a gold bar that you apparently bought off the dark web. Omg. That was hilarious.)

AND THEN YOU GET UP THE NEXT DAY AND ZENKICHI IS JUST IN YOUR HOUSE? SITTING IN THAT CHAIR? That is not the “detective chair”, sir, that is my boyfriend’s chair, and you need to move. At least he likes the curry, but jesus fuck. Sir, I have unresolved trauma of adults coming into my house to snoop into my business. Get out of my house. X’D

You give me a detective sitting in my boyfriend’s chair and then immediately send me to a taping of the same show in the same studio where I first met him. God, P5S, you’re trying to kill me.

Alice clearly knows that giving out the keyword is doing something. She’s being very deliberate about this. But I don’t think she’s actually aware of the Jail. Love that she’s so arrogant that she can’t imagine that Akira just... didn’t use the keyword, and that’s why she can’t control him.

So I guess the Jail Monarchs are called such because they’re imprisoning other people’s shadows in their distortions. So these are people that want control over something to the point that it distorted their worldview. Part of me wants to go off on a ramble about how this relates to Mementos or Apathy Syndrome, but I’ll wait and do that when I have more information. I’ve got some more of the dungeon to do, and I cannot wait to see Alice’s boss fight.

I’m having so much fun. I really missed these kids; they’re grea--

.......I hate these children. X’‘‘‘‘DDDD

#Li plays P5Scramble #still refusing to call it ''Strikers''

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smorshflaaf · 5 years ago

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Wake - NCT Jaehyun x Male Reader

a/n: first time doing this!!! + stan nct + might continue on doing this so heads up if you have any requests!

“Iced Americano, please.” Your eyes transfer their focus from the table you were cleaning to the source of the husky voice. Others would undoubtedly squeal at the sight of a member of one of the most famous boy groups in Korea. However, try as you might to express at the very least shock, you couldn’t help but feel indifferent at the man. He was Jaehyun, a member of NCT, but for you he was just another customer during your night shift at the cafe. A distraction to keep your sleep-deprived self from sleeping at one of the booths. You could feel the drowsiness building up into a yawn, but you immediately scold yourself, resuming on your work.

Finishing up, you deliver the tray to the area behind the counter, setting it on the sink. He seems to be done with his order, as you hear the counter printing the receipt while washing the dishes. Soon after, your ears prick at the sound of heels against wood, and you take a deep breath in preparation of the fangirling you were just about to witness.

“Hey Y/n! He’s here again!” Kyung-hu, your coworker, whisper-shouted in your ear. Where you lacked in response towards the male idol who seemed to frequent your cafe, Kyung-hu made up for it. Excessively, if you say so yourself. You glance to see her scrunched up face, eyes showing her excitement as they shone under the mellow light. She was one of those city girls who blended well with your age group. She knows the trends, dresses up accordingly, has a rigorous skin care routine, and most importantly, likes k-pop. Kyung-hu was someone people wouldn’t expect you were friends with. But, it might be the contrast between your personalities that was also the reason you two got along so well.

“HE GLANCED AT US!” Her enthusiasm rose even more at the interaction you both had with the idol, discreetly pointing at the area where the idol was seated. Indeed, Jaehyung glanced at the both of you, but this was only for a few seconds as he directed his attention back to his cellphone. This shouldn’t mean a lot, but to Kyung-hu it did. “That was the second time we made eye contact. First, when I was taking his order. He must’ve been attracted by my beauty. Who wouldn’t after all?” You could only open your mouth in disbelief as Kyung-hu said this, the corners of your lips turning up at her bold statement as she bats her eyelashes.

“You’re so full of yourself. Don’t you think it’s because he’s waiting for his drink?” You said blatantly, pointing to the espresso machine. Kyung-hu immediately snapped back to her senses, muttering a quick ‘oh shit’ before rushing to get the espresso she prepared. You flick the water off your hands as you finish washing the last plate, smiling as Kyung-hu rushes to finish the order of her beloved idol. Leaning on the sink, you watch with amusement as she finishes the order within 2 minutes.

“Hey Y/n, it’s done. Serve it now to the king over there.” Kyung-hu dramatically gestured to the drink and to the idol, who was now expecting the beverage to be handed over. You could only sigh once again at her exaggeration, just nodding in compliance. Kyung-hu could have served the drink herself, however the fact that her hands shake uncontrollably whenever Jaehyun visited meant the job was automatically given to you. Getting the wooden tray with the drink on one hand, you made your way to where the idol was seated.

Jaehyun bowed, with you doing the same as you put down the beverage in front of him. “Enjoy.” Smiling, you were just about to leave after fulfilling your duties when curiosity struck you out of nowhere. You couldn’t explain why this was happening and you suddenly wanted to talk to him. Again, you didn’t actually care about the presence of the idol before. Well, not until now. You fiddle with your fingers, and after inhaling, you face Jaehyun with intent enough for him to stare right back at you.

“You seem to come here a lot. May I ask why?” You ask straight up. Jaehyun, who was in the middle of sipping on his drink, raised his eyebrows at your inquiry. Putting down his coffee, he gulped before looking back at you.

“I guess I just find myself drawn to this place.” He shrugged. You nodded in understanding, and by now you should be going back to the counter, but you find yourself standing still in the same spot. Strange. Jaehyun started looking around the cafe. Given that it was 10pm, a time where most people might be drinking soju at some bbq place, only a few customers could be spotted. These same customers were also caught up in their own businesses to be bothered. Deciding that this moment was fine, Jaehyun looked back to meet your eyes.

“Do you have any time to spare? I just want to ask something.” You stare at the idol who was currently inviting you to spend some time with him. You found his offer quite alluring, as such you immediately checked the counter if there was something that needed to be done. Finding only Kyung-hu gasping and clearly pointing at you like you just did the most shocking act, you look back at the male expecting your reply.

“Yeah, sure.” A smile graced Jaehyun’s lips as you sat down across him. “What is it you wanted to ask about?” You find yourself initiating the conversation. You don’t know if it’s because you were actually talking to someone of high stature, but you admit you find yourself a little bit reserved. Placing the tray you were just holding down on the table, you watch as Jaehyun searches for something on his phone. Indicated by his brightened facial expression, Jaehyun finally faces you.

“You see, I kind of want to give a special person a gift.” His words were laced with such admiration that you find yourself amused. It seemed like someone had a thing for somebody, and it was the man in front of you. You nodded in understanding, giving him the signal to continue.

“Sadly, I don’t know what that person likes, and if that person will like my gift.” He shows you his phone, and it was a picture of what seemed to be a bracelet. An expensive one, at that. Placing the phone back in his pocket, he resumes. “What I only know is that that person is quite simple, might be in college.”

Jaehyun pauses, and smiles at a thought. “-And has a nice smile too.”

Staring and actually talking to him, it was only now you were able to fully digest the facial features this man was gifted with. You could understand why girls from your college would scream at mere pictures of them. His handsomeness was further accentuated by his melodic yet strangely masculine voice. It was hard to explain how attractive he was, and it was harder to explain the knot that was forming in your chest. If there was one thing that was clear to you, whoever this man liked was a lucky one.

Pushing back your unprecedented, small, yet still valid feelings, you clear your throat. Sincerely thinking about your answer, looking up at the hanging light gracing both of you with warm yellow, you put your hands down on the table.

“Well, since you said that person is simple, I think an expensive bracelet wouldn’t be necessary. I think that person would appreciate quality time to destress from school works. You did say that person is in college." You pause for a slight second, distracted by the stare Jaehyun held on you as you spoke. It had this intensity your indifference couldn't handle, as if Jaehyun was trying to remember this moment in its entirety, up to the tiniest detail. Gathering your thoughts, you disregard the heat forming on your cheeks.

"The problem is you need to ask that person out, but I think it would be worth it since you’ll get to see the smile.”

Jaehyun, who was listening intently to your advice, nodded in understanding. “I see. Thank you-? I’m Jaehyun by the way.” He was asking for your name.

“Y/n.”

“What a nice name.”

You reach out for the wooden tray you placed on the table. Standing up, you assume that your work was done. For a brief moment, you subtly wished there would be more moments like this. You dismiss the thought right away. “I’m sorry, but I think I need to go back to work.”

Hearing this, Jaehyun stands up as well, gathering his belongings. Standing close to him, you become aware of the contrast in both of your heights. You’ve only served his drinks when he’s already seated, after all. Also, Kyung-hu was the one who always took his order, so this fact was made apparent to you only now. He had the perfect 2 inch height advantage over you, and that said something since yours fell somewhere in average. ‘That’ person surely is blessed.

“Ah, I need to go as well.” Jaehyun checks his wristwatch, and looks back at you. A few seconds of silence lay in between the both of you, your feet in place despite having excused yourself to get back to work. You know this. Yet, for some reason, along with the peculiar feeling that formed in your gut, you didn’t move. Jaehyun was seemingly in the same state you were in as well, looking around, thinking of the right words to say like you did right now.

This awkward pause was broken by himself soon enough. He chuckles, reaching for something in his pocket. His smile, made even more charming by his dimples, made itself appear.

“We’ll go out afterwards.” Jaehyun states, holding your hand and placing the bracelet in your palm.

You couldn’t help but smile.

#nct jaehyun x male reader #jaehyun x male reader #kpop scenarios #kpop m|m #kpop imagines #nct x male reader #male reader kpop #kpop x male reader #nct #jaehyun #male reader #m!reader

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #296

“reality’s a plague; we’re the medication”

How are you doing in this time of COVID19? Do you personally know anyone who is not taking COVID19 seriously? Tired of it. Don’t see an end to it. I know a bunch of dumbasses who don’t take it seriously at all. What do you think of TikTok? Have you jumped on it yet? Why or why not? I don’t have an opinion on it. What hobby or interest of your significant other do you have ZERO interest in? What about something you actually think might be fun or something you actually picked up thanks to them? If you don’t have an SO, you can think of a relative or friend as an example instead. No s/o, sooo I’ll use best friend instead. Tbh I can’t say I have ZERO interest in anything she likes… If it makes her happy, I’m thankful for it. To answer the second half, she definitely got me into Wings of Fire. Have you ever felt affected by the death of a celebrity or public figure? If so, who? Do you remember when you found out and what was your reaction to it? Steve Irwin comes to mind very quickly. I remember exactly who told me and where I was. I was heartbroken. He was my childhood hero. Did you ever get called horrible names like whore, skank, bitch? I’ve been called a bitch. I remember one occasion as a kid where I was called fat for breaking a swing, even though I was a normal size. The swing was just old. It affected me though, for sure. Where did you sleep last night? My bed. Ever slow danced with anyone? Yes. Who is the last person to send you a message on Facebook? The woman I took pictures for a few weeks back. She’s a sweetheart. Have you ever been given roses? Yeah. Ever been called babe/baby? Yeah. Who was the last person to smoke something other than a cigarette or weed in front of you? No one’s ever smoked anything else in my presence. Does anything on your body hurt? My knees. They pretty much always do. Who is your favorite family member on your mom’s side? My uncle Rob. Who was the last person you were under a blanket with? Sara. Which of your friends is the most likely to get pregnant right now? I feel like all of them that are “likely” literally are pregnant right now lmao. My Facebook is like a new pregnancy announcement once a week, it seems like. Have you ever been called prince/princess? Ew, no. Have you kissed anyone when you’re single? No. Have you ever kissed someone who was in a relationship? Nooo, I have no interest in being “that person.” What would you call your body type? Let’s not think about this. Has anyone ever hacked your accounts before? Yeah. Could you ever be friends with someone that broke your heart? I don’t think I could. Have you ever seriously hurt anyone by mistake? I don’t believe so. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting or any kind of abuse at home? My parents fought all the time. Separated when I was… 17, I wanna say? Have you ever had any volunteer jobs? Ha. Attempts, anyway. Both were animal-related, and I was so excited to become a regular helper, but my weak-ass body couldn’t handle either. Has a boy/girl ever cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend for you? I never actually thought of it this way, but yes. Flirting like that was absolutely cheating. Describe how you feel about your life in the past month using one word: Stuck. Are you feeling guilty about anything right now? I always have guilt nowadays. When was the last time you saw someone attractive? In person? Hm. I think a about a month back when I took family pictures for someone. The kids’ dad was pretty cute. Are you okay with the life you live? Nope. What other piercings would you get other than the ones you already have? Fuuuuck dude, I want a lot. Many more in my ears, dermals in my collarbones (the #1, ahhh, but I want to lose weight first so you can see the contrast), it’d be nice to have a nose ring that fucking stayed in, I would LOVE an undereye microdermal if I ever change to contacts again, sometimes I think about an eyebrow piercing if I kept my eyebrows thinner… man, there’s a lot. I just love body mod. Did your last kiss take place on a bed? No. Are you good at wrapping gifts for others? HEEEEEEEEEEEELL NO. Is your present hair color natural? Sadly yes. Do you follow a certain religion? No. Do you listen to any country music? Noooo. It’s so weird remembering that I loved it as a kid. Have you ever lived on a farm? No. Do both of your parents have jobs? Dad does, but Mom is currently on disability due to recovering from cancer. What is something you’ve always wanted a boy to do for you? Ummm. I dunno. What do you wish you had more knowledge about? Politics. Is there anyone you’re not over and feel like you never will be? I doubt I’ll ever be fully over him. But I feel it’s understandable. When’s the last time you were really late to something? Hm. Dunno. Do you sing a lot? I sing veeery rarely. Do you think you have an addictive personality? I have a very addictive personality, yes. What was the first television show you were obsessed with? Pokemon, easily. What are you planning on eating for dinner tonight if you haven’t already? I don’t know. When was the last time someone took your picture? *shrugs* Do you eat chili when you get a hotdog, or do you like it plain? I eat them with ketchup and mustard, not chili. Would you say it’s easy for people to make you smile or laugh? I’m unsure… but I lean towards no. Do you and your friends normally say you love one another? Hell yeah. I’m so for platonic “I love you”s. What was the worst news you’ve heard this entire week? I'm not sure about "worst," honestly. I've mostly just heard mild inconvenience type things. Have you ever been in a car wreck? Yes. Has anyone ever told you that they think you have ADHD? Actually, yes, by maybe my second psychiatrist. She was fucking looney; I could see ADD, but ADHD was ludicrous. Have you ever disowned anyone in your family? For what reasons? I cut off connections with my dad for years after the divorce. Is there anyone out there who has hurt you so much, you wish they’d die? Yeesh, no. How many times have you been drunk in your life? None. Are you a happy person? Not really. Have you cried yourself to sleep? Oh yeah. Have you been in trouble with the law/jail time? No. At what age did you become sexually active? Maybe like, 16 1/2? Have you been in a loving relationship? Yes. Have you been in an abusive/bad relationship? No. Who would you die for? Quite a large handful of people, really. Have you ever been in a gang? Nooooo thanks. Who do you dream about most? Annoyingly, Jason. When are you happiest? When I'm hyperfixated on a new interest. Do you answer the phone by saying anything besides "hello?" Not unless it's family, really. Then I'll just be like "hey" or "what's up?", something along those lines. Do you get mad easily? No. What is your favorite song right now? I'm pretty hooked on "ULTRAnumb" by Blue Stahli. Do you wear glasses or contacts? If you wear both, which do you prefer, and why? I wear glasses. I've worn contacts before, they're just too tedious for me. Would you rather be buried or cremated? Cremated, please. Ever done karaoke? Did you like it? No. Goriest movie you've ever seen? Probably some SAW film. Is anything in your room purposely hidden? No. Have you ever been pranked via hidden camera? No. Do you like oatmeal raisin cookies? No, anything with raisins is disgusting. What age do you think is too old to still live with your parents? "It depends on the situation." <<<< This. Have you ever loved a boy who was dating some other girl? I certainly still loved Jason when he was with his girlfriend after me. Is your hair all the same color? Yeah, pretty much. When it was longer, I had natural highlights, but now that it's so short, ig it's hard for them to exist. Denim, leather or varsity jacket? I have desperately wanted a leather jacket since middle school. They're just expensive, at least the ones I like. Do you clean things that are already clean when you're bored? Ha, no. I'm not gonna clean without reason. Have either of your parents ever been to jail? No. What TV shows do you keep up with? None. Would you rather have a wiener dog or an Italian greyhound? Absolutely a greyhound, if I wanted a dog and had room for one of those. Do your parents buy you most anything you want? Most definitely not. I'm not even comfortable asking for things at my age. Have you ever tried to jump a fence? I have jumped fences, as a kid. Do you like the movie Zootopia? I do. Do you ever go on Pinterest? Rarely. What's the last kind of chocolate you ate? A sea salt dark chocolate w/ caramel filling Ghiradelli square from Christmas. Can you speak any unusual languages? No. Did you do gymnastics in elementary school? No. Have you ever performed in front of a large audience? Yeah; I was in dance classes for a long time, so we had recitals and went to competitions. I never did a solo, though. I was going to my senior year (senior solos are typical), but I got too nervous to continue with it. It was to "Coma White" by Marilyn Manson. Do you like BBQ sauce? Ugh, I hate it. Last time you wore the opposite sex's clothing? Right now. I always wear men's pj pants. Are you currently fighting with someone? No. Have you ever kept anything wild as a pet? When I was little, I know my sisters and I kept a box turtle that wandered into our yard for a while. We eventually let it go. Then when I would go fishing with Dad, one of my absolute favorite things to do was try to catch the minnows and tadpoles in my hands, and so I had a fishbowl of those. Don't keep wild animals, please. Do you set good examples for little kids? Probably not. Does your house have a pool? No, but I REALLY want one. It would be so helpful in strengthening my legs without sweating my ass off and feeling like I'm going to collapse. When you were younger, were you ever in a relationship with someone you now realize was way too old for you? No. Have you ever had a seizure? No, but I've actually had very short (I mean like, a second), sudden spasms when lying down that feel like what I assume a seizure to feel like. I think it's a side effect of my nightmare medication. What's the longest hotel stay you've ever had? Not long at all. Just a few days. Do any of your friends or family members have strange occupations? Maybe? What small thing makes you automatically distrust someone? Making dark/dangerous jokes. Of all the states/provinces in your country, which one is your favorite? I haven't been to nearly enough to know. Have you ever had to wear a school uniform? In middle school. Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? My fat ass ain't getting in the top bunk. Are you close with your cousins? None, really. Are you close to any aunts or uncles? Also not really, but one of my mom's brothers is closest to that. Are you close to your grandparents? They're all dead, but I wasn't very close to any. I never really see my extended family. What was your favorite thing to do at sleepovers when you were younger? Go swimming, if they had a pool. If they didn't or it just wasn't up, I liked playing two-player video games. Do you know what you want to do for your next birthday? Probably go to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner and dessert with family and just chill at home for most of the day. What is the last new thing you discovered that was really good? Peanut butter fudge, like holy shit. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? No. What is the best hairstyle you've ever had? What I have now. Do you think you look better with dyed hair or natural hair? DYED. Do you think your look better with curly hair or straight hair? Straight. Have you ever won a contest? Yes. How many drawers does your dresser have? Five. Do you do your own taxes, or do you hire a professional? N/A What song hit you so hard that you remember where you were the first time you heard it? Oh man, what a question. Music can affect me very deeply, so honestly there's probably a number that fit this criteria if I thought for long enough, but I'm not gonna spend ten minutes trying to pick the best one. "Eternally Yours" by Motionless In White will do, I guess because that was probably the most recent. I don't let myself listen to it, even though I love it. It'll only drag me into a trauma pit. What's your "brand" of fictional character, the type you always get attached to (ex., "perky girls with deep-seated mental health issues," "guys who you would want as an older brother," etc.)? Totally the sarcastic and usually well-composed villain. If you use Spotify, share your 2020 Wrapped! What are your overall feelings about it? Is it what you expected? I don't use it. If you’re a ~gamer~, what are your top 3 all-time favorite games? Silent Hill 2, Shadow of the Colossus, and Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs. What’s the biggest red flag you’ve ever ignored? I dunno; I'm pretty good at listening to those. What’s something extremely bizarre you believed as a very young child? It's fucking embarrassing that I went through this many-years-long "I have animal powers given to me by a wolf I made up!!!" thing, holy god. Like, I thought I could "activate" traits of certain animals. Kids are fuckin wild, but I was exceptionally so. What is the biggest conflict in your life right now? With myself. Through a lot of digging with my therapist, she got me to realize that I don't feel that I'm rightfully lovable because I'm not "successful" and "going nowhere." It hit like a ton of fucking bricks when I understood the "why" of feeling like that. Like don't get me wrong, I don't think I'm a bad person that is worthy of being hated, but totally deserving of pure love, no. So my therapist has me tell myself "I am lovable" in the mirror every morning, and I don't believe it. I'm trying to, but every time I'm just like "lol but are you really?" If you could change your current life schedule to incorporate more or less time for certain things, how would you do so? Do you feel like you have a well-structured and well-balanced schedule at the moment? My schedule is embarrassing, truly. I wake up, get on the computer, go to bed, and that's just about it, taking care of bodily needs being sprinkled in there throughout. I want to change it so, so badly, but I'm just... so set in my ways. I want to incorporate at least 30 minutes of daily reading, and I've yet to start my Wii Fit exercising because I'm waiting for Mom to move into her room (she stays and sleeps in the living room rn) because I do NOT like exercising in front of ANYBODY. I don't care if she gave birth to me. I also want to spend less time just hopping between websites on the laptop just because I can't find anything to do. It'd be nice to draw more, too... but for that, I really need to like the idea of what I'm drawing to stay even slightly motivated. There's probably more to this, but yeah, that's enough. What filler words do you find yourself using most often ("um," "you know," etc.)? "Um" or "uh," probably. I fumble over my words so much as well as just total derail on what I'm talking about that filler words are very, very common for me. When was the last time you felt let down? What were your expectations about the given situation that weren't met? Ugh, so apparently when my laptop was fixed, a lot of things were reset, and that included Lightroom, my primary photography editing software. I lost all my presets and I initially thought pictures too, but thank Christ I had a backup dialogue. I'm still pretty annoyed, because I can't find my favorite free LR download site. I didn't at all expect my laptop to be affected as heavily as it was, just getting a new DC port... If you enjoy taking and editing photos, how would you describe your editing style? This greatly depends on the subject matter and composition, but I feel a common theme is I enjoy vibrance. I war with myself a lot if I make them too saturated, but idk. Have you ever been inspired by a celebrity to change something about your appearance (your clothing style, hairstyle, etc.)? Is much of your taste/style inspired by celebrities? If not, what else serves as an inspiration for you? Ha! Guys, I'm not going to bullshit you, when I got into GMM, I loved Link's big, "nerdy" glasses so much that I became very curious as to how they'd look on me. Years later, I still kept the style and think they've looked best on me of all my glasses. I love them. For the second question, no, not really. My personal aesthetics dictate my style selections. When was the last time you felt a friendship was petering out? If a friendship seems to be fizzling, do you go out of your way to try to "save it," or do you accept that it may have just reached its natural conclusion? Ugh. This has happened in so very many of my friendships that I don't even like thinking about it. If we're talking the most recent time, I suppose with Alex. She just started talking to me less and less before vanishing (to clarify, she's an online friend). Considering just how poorly I handle loss, I'm the type to always try to save friendships I still cherish. Who is your favorite contemporary writer, author, poet, thinker? I don't know. What are your thoughts on body positivity vs. body neutrality? I believe in seeing your body and loving it for all it does, considering it's a masterpiece of biology, but, I also feel it is vital to consider its health. In other words, no, I do not think morbidly obese or emaciated individuals should think their body is... I can't think of the right word, really. "Ideal," I suppose? And keep in mind: this is coming from an obese person. I don't want someone to tell me "your body is perfectly fine!" or "you should just accept you the way you are!" when I spend almost every minute of every day thinking to some degree about how much I hate my fucking weight. No, I don't want to be convinced I should settle and neglect the wellbeing of the one body I have, but I in no way support bashing or being rude to people who are unhealthy, either. I feel like my stance on this is kinda hard to explain. Just respect your body as well as others' and their efforts to treat it the best they can. Do you enjoy keeping secrets from people, like having something about yourself that no one else knows? I mean, I don't enjoy it... I'd prefer to have none. If you play video games, what do you usually like to play? If you don't play video games, do you like watching others play? If so, what? I really like horror games, more than any. Fantasy ones with dragons and gods and the like are awesome, too. I don't enjoy a lot of games that are pretty much just movies with player decisions that barely affect the ending (I do like watching these, though), nor do sportsy or action things normally do it for me. It's by serious luck that I'm an avid World of Warcraft player, because I don't tend to like very grindy games, but I suppose WoW is an exception with the absolutely endless options of what you can do. Onto the second part of the question: totally. I wouldn't watch let's plays if I didn't, and I grew up loving to watch my dad and brother play. I'll watch an even wider variety of games than I play, but it more so depends on who the person is versus what they're playing, because whom I watch is controlled by whether or not/how much I enjoy the individual themselves. What are three things you like about nature? Just three? Damn... Well, the easiest I suppose can be summed up in a quote: "As above, so below." All is tied together. I could go on a romantic monologue about the beauty of our connection to the infinite stars we look upon and the ground we stand on, but I'll spare ya that poem. I love, love, love the sounds of nature: birds chirping, zephyrs through the trees, the crunching of fall leaves. All of it. Then, there's the power of nature! I live for those pictures of nature just taking the Earth back: desolate homes eaten by vines, all that. To call nature merely "spectacular" is truly an act of disrespect, pretty much. What do teenagers have right now that you wish you had when you were their age? Hm. I guess better phones.

#survey #surveys #questionnaire #questions #lyrics: ''ultranumb'' by blue stahli

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madzilla84 · 4 years ago

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update

Did anyone ask for one? No. Does anyone want it? Probably not … I guess there’s still some small part of me that misses having a Livejournal.

In general, things have been - better. I started going outside a bit more from late-ish July, but honestly I don’t know if I started feeling better because I started going out, or if I started going out because I was feeling better…? A mystery. But mood tracking app - surely a reliable source of mental health info lmao - seems to agree:

(woohoo, only ‘significant burden’! i think that’s about the best you could hope for in 2020. and this was a few weeks ago, and I feel better now than I did then, so.)

I’ve been off work for the last 3 weeks - nothing wrong, just 2 weeks of scheduled annual leave, which I needed very much (I think part of why I was feeling bad was because I hadn’t had a break since February), and last week I had a week of jury duty. The break was much needed and I can feel the difference.

I started exercising again in July, and ugggggggh ok fine I admit I do feel better because of it. I’m never gonna be a gym bunny, I’ll probably never *love* it but I can’t deny the benefits. I go 3 times a week which is enough for me. (Though I only went twice last week and this week - last week I was pretty wrecked after court each day and this week I am focussing on being lazy.) Going outside again was strange at first, like the previous 4 months hadn’t happened, but it didn’t take long to feel (mostly) normal again.

I’ve also had a couple of social things, which has been nice - one lunch out at an outdoor restaurant, and one bbq at a friend’s house. (She moved in recently at the end of my street; while I was sitting in her living room I could look out of the window at my own flat. Weird!) I’ve been thinking a lot about Dan’s tweet about who he realised he wants in his life after lockdown, and it’s just. Interesting.

I’m DELIGHTED it’s September and the start of the best months, the -embers and -obers; it’s still pretty warm and mostly sunny here but it’s really nice, the bite’s gone out of the warmth. Not long now until it Gs the FO entirely. \o/ I’m still playing Animal Crossing every day, (unlike some people, smh poor abandoned Pickle).

Jury duty last week was fascinating. I didn’t even know if I’d get picked - they call more than twice as many people as they need in case anyone can’t do it for whatever reason (if one of the lawyers is a family friend or something), but I did end up being chosen. (No. 12!!) We were the first post-covid jury, and the first socially distanced one.

I *can* talk about the case now it’s over, but I don’t think I will, because the subject matter could be pretty triggering, but it was often a tough week given the nature of it. Having said that, something about it was very satisfying. It was fascinating to see how the courts and lawyers worked, and the whole process, and it was good to work with the other jurors. (Days on end of talking to actual humans was actually pretty good, for the most part.) We were all just thrown together, and we had differences of opinion of course, but it was still a good experience to work with them. It felt good to be part of something like that, something that mattered, and to feel like a part of the community in such a real way. I can be quite good at putting aside emotion to look at the letter of the law, which in a case like this can be very challenging; some of the other jurors struggled with it a great deal. (This isn’t to blow my own trumpet or anything; many would argue it was *me* who had the problem, in much the same way they often say lawyers are heartless, which isn’t true most of the time)

The case ended up being dismissed as the jury couldn’t reach a consensus - we got slated on social media (which of course I didn’t look at during the case, I caught up after), but we all stuck to our convictions and I know it was right; there’s a lot the public didn’t know or understand. As tough a case as it was, I’m glad I got to do it, it was a privilege in many ways. (But, I wouldn’t mind if it was a long time until I had to do it again, you know? lol.)

We had our phones taken from 9-5 while we were working - it’s the law - and I thought it was gonna be the worst after being glued to it constantly, but it was actually quite nice lmao. Not that I didn’t end up glued to it again once the case was over.

Fandom-wise, I have - finally - ended up taking a step back from the phandom a little bit in the last month or two. I want to talk about that a bit because it’s a complicated topic, and I see a lot of concerning posts - mainly on Twitter - that if you don’t maintain a certain level of dedication, if you join another fandom or get into something else or aren’t sufficiently devoted and supportive you - aren’t a true fan? Or something? Lots of posts along the lines of, ‘all these people getting into kpop/tv show/whatever, smh, don’t think we won’t remember when dan’s project drops and you all come running back’. It’s just a bit - weird? Like, it’s *perfectly normal* if people get into other stuff while dnp are cooking whatever they’re cooking (or not cooking, or whatever)? Or just move on, but still enjoy D&P?

I’m not, like, dramatically leaving the fandom or anything. Hell, I haven’t *left* the fandom at all, I’m still here every day, it’s - more of a mental shift. Because prior to July/August-ish this year I really wasn’t in a good place with it. I wrote a thing earlier this year about struggling with writing, and belonging while not being a content creator, and other things … the issue is that, as I tend to do with my fandoms, I get too overinvested. And sometimes, that’s okay - whatever gets you through the night and all that - but in this case, I wasn’t enjoying it any more. Some parts I was - I’ve made the best friends I’ve ever had in a fandom here, and I really like seeing everyone on here - but in general, I was spending a lot of my time feeling anxious, resentful, worried, angry and frustrated. I spent a lot of last year and almost all of this one waiting for Godot; hating the “new normal” and desperately waiting for - something that’s never going to come. I just couldn’t deal with it; probably for reasons bigger than just D&P but that’s how it manifested. I got more and more frustrated by the content we were getting because it wasn’t what I’d hoped, and I hated feeling like that. It took up way too much of my thoughts and every day was just waiting, and wondering, and worrying. And I got so, so sick of it.

So, where am I now? Well, it was inevitable really, but I just started to - let go, a bit. I didn’t throw my hands up and go, ’bah, screw these guys!’, my mental focus just shifted (for my own good), and I started focussing on other things. Other fandoms. Games and hobbies I can distract myself with. I’ll admit it wouldn’t necessarily have been my *choice*, you know? But reality is what it is and I’m - relieved, really, that I’m not unnecessarily tormenting myself about it any more. It took me a long time to reach this place - too long, really - and, for now at least, it’s kind of nice. I can just enjoy things if/when they pop up without the accompanying sadness and anger about how everything is changed, about what has ended and what I’ve “lost”. (And it’s not 100%, by the way; it’s still there, just - quiet, now.) I can look at, I dunno, someone’s gifs of Dan or whatever, and just smile about it rather than feeling that grief. (Or, feel it, but not to the exclusion of everything else.) It’s - nicer.

And it isn’t at *all* that I don’t care any more, I still love them, of course I do, and will continue to follow them and watch everything they do. I’m not going anywhere. I still have notifs on, though they don’t quite send my heart into my throat like they did. ;) In a way it’s helping me love them more, because now when I watch them I enjoy it more, appreciating the fun and the bants without laser-focussing on my own anger and sadness. I’m still attending our little daily phannie watch-alongs, where we watch a couple of eps of DAPG and an anime. I’m still on phandom tumblr/twitter on the daily. It just - has a slightly smaller portion of my brain and mental energy now.

It was a step I needed to take, but also one I’m not sure I could have *chosen* to take, not without deliberately leaving and cutting it all off completely? And I didn’t want to do that. I’d hoped I’d get to this place earlier than this - some 20 months after the fact - but better late than never, I suppose.

(Also, disclaimer - fandom and the human heart are funny things, and I fully accept I can and probably will be sucked completely back in at any time.)

Anyway! SEE YOU AT THE QUIZ :D

#mad.txt #tw covid #personal

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bangtanwouldyourather · 5 years ago

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Would you rather...

You both were too busy to make things work. After months of dating, it had now been two months since you told Yoongi it wasn't working. He was heartbroken and so were you. But whenever he came into your city for work, you both would spend every night together "no strings attached."

The reason for breaking up was simple: you had no time and neither did he. And your busy schedules caused multiple fights and broken promises. You know that you wanted no one other than Yoongi, but he was often upset if he was available but you had work. It felt as if he wanted you to choose between your dance career or him. As much as you wanted him, you loved dance, it was your dream career. And either Yoongi would learn to accept his part in your life or stay out of it.

But tonight was a night when discussing these issues wasn't necessary. Yoongi was an idol. One of the biggest stars in the world and tonight his band BTS was performing a concert in Los Angeles, where he made sure and arranged you would come back stage after the show. Throughout the show he looked so good, sweating, dancing, rapping. God, you loved him. His eyes when he smiled and his gummy smile when laughing.

The show had ended and the security guard came to get you from the section you sat at, bringing you backstage. You were nervous. It had been two weeks since you saw Yoongi. You had been texting every day but rarely since he was so busy with his tour rehearsal and schedule and you were busy with your own work and practice. When you did text with Yoongi he was very jealous of anything you did, something as simple as eating Korean BBQ out with friends. He wouldn't say anything, but that's how you knew it upset him. He was going through a lot and you made excuses for him. But tonight wasn't about the issues you had together, it was about getting the desired pleasure out of Yoongi that you wanted and needed. And you knew he needed it too considering the way he had been sending you snapchats trying to dirty talk until one of you would fall asleep from pure exhaustion of your days.

You wore black tight ripped skinny jeans, chucks, and a ripped sleeveless loose gray shirt. The necklace Yoongi gave you, your hair up and light make up. You knew this was Yoongi's favorite style of yours and tonight was the perfect night to get him turned on.

Yoongi's gummy smile was in full effect the moment you walked into his dressing room. "Ah, Y/N hello," he says as he makes his way to you, giving you an awkward hug, "Did you like the show?"

"It was amazing," You say blushing at seeing his sweating neck and damp hair, "It's good to see you."

Yoongi blushes and shrugs, smiling at you, he brings his hand to your cheek brushing it across as his lips crash against yours. A hard yet soft kiss. Kissing you quick but making it last. He had an effect on you. And he knew he did as he pulled away and you were in La La Land with your eyes still closed before opening them and seeing the now serious Yoongi face that you also loved. He clenched his jaw and sighed. Prompting you to ask, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's nothing," Yoongi says quickly and grabbing his things, "Let's go shall we, I'm hungry."

The taxi brings you to Yoongi's hotel in a matter of no time. And once your settled in the room, room service is there with steak dinners. You and Yoongi eat, both starving from the concert, and begin to catch up on the past few weeks.

"You seem exhausted Yoongi, but you did so well on stage tonight," you let out what was on your mind all day, "I'm glad and thankful to be part of your lif-"

"Are you?" Yoongi asks with a stern face, setting his silverware down, "I thought you didn't want to be part of my life. Just sex life?"

You were stung by his words. You felt air leave your chest as your eyes burned begging to push tears back, how could he be so blunt? He sat at this table eating with you happy until now.

"Now that's not fair," you say as you bring the napkin to wipe your tear before it fell.

Yoongi looked defeated seeing your tear fall. He didn't mean to hurt you. Well maybe he did, but he felt frustrated at this situation of being with you but not being with you in terms of relationship. It wasn't how he wanted.

"Y/N, I'm sorry," Yoongi finally speaks in a quiet tone now, "I'm just... I don't know. I'm just irritated at this whole situation."

It was fair for him to feel that way. You were frustrated too. But these arguments and upsets were exactly why you called the relationship off. Would Yoongi always find a reason to be upset?

"Yoongi," you look down at your plate, half eaten food, "I'd better go now. Thank you for dinner." You get up from your seat and bow his way not making eye contact, you grab your purse and make way to leave before tears rush while you're still in the room.

Just as your hand pulls on the door handle and barge the door open, Yoongi is at your side slamming it back shut. "Y/N, stop," Yoongi says sternly looking at you, or your profile rather as you stay with teary eyes focused on the door in front of you, Yoongi's hand pressed against it.

"I don't want you to go," Yoongi says as he grabs your waist and turns you to face him, his lips crashing onto yours in a passionate hard kiss, his tongue pushing into yours in and out, not aggressively, but smooth and slow, tasting each other. He presses his body onto yours making your back meet the wall behind you. His hand holding your neck, tugging at your hair, practically massaging your lower scalp as his kiss becomes more aggressive~ better yet, needy.

Your hands find his chest and waist, feeling his damp shirt from sweat and the warmth of his body beneath it. You loved Yoongi's body. He was toned in a healthy manner, his form a command of presence. Your desire for him became evident as you felt your core burn and your panties dampening. "Yoongi...," you pant against his lips and hold, "We can't keep doing this. If it's just sex, I don't want it either."

"It's not just sex," Yoongi says with his deep voice, his daegu tone slipping, as he unzips your jeans and pulls them down aggressively following them as they fall to the floor, his lips meeting your pussy as he shoves his tongue in rapidly giving you no room for rebuttle.

"God-" you begin to moan as you run your hands through his hair. His jaw working to bring you pleasure as his tongue sucked, licked, and pulled in and out of you, with his hand gripping at your thighs and pulling you off the wall to grip your ass hard, leaving marks. You became desperate for him, bucking your hips into him, needed the contact, as he let you ride his tongue he gripped you as you came onto him, heart racing and clit throbbing. He licked you up once more, then moving away to wipe his mouth and come back up to you. Smiling at seeing your eyes still closed, in a daze. He kisses your forehead, picking you up so you are straddling him as he carries you to the bed, laying you gently and removing the remainder of your clothes as well as removing his own. The room was barely lit now, as Yoongi dimmed the lights before finding his place in bed beside you.

Your daze came to a tolerable point as you looked over to Yoongi, seeing how handsome he was. His eyes looked at you with so much love and care, his lips stern, "Y/N. If you don't want to do this anymore because of what I've said and done and argued over and over, I understand. It's okay."

What? You said this in your head. How could he really say this? He was okay if it ended? After ?

"It's okay because, no matter what, I won't stop bothering you," Yoongi continued before you could blow up, "You can try to break things off but I won't stop. I need you Y/N. And, I know I've gotten upset too many times, but this is different. I am serious about this. I just want to make time for each other. All I ask is if I try my best, so will you."

Your heart fluttered at his words. A tear escaping your eye once more and you wiped it away and moved to kiss Yoongi. A slow parted lip kiss. His hand finding your face once more and kissing you fast, tongue fully in your mouth. You bit onto his lower lip and he moaned, grabbing your hair and shifting himself to sit up, bringing you to straddle on him. As you sat on his lap you felt his length against your thigh, he was hard. Making you realize he must have been hard while eating you out and you left him hanging. "You're hard," you say what's on your mind once again, "Let me help you with that," you say as you lift your hips only to position his rock hard cock as you lowered back down onto it, his tip piercing through your folds as he moaned aloud, "Y/N! Wow."

Your pussy swallowed his cock, his eyes closed and clenched as he held his head back as you began to ride him. Your juices squirting onto him, your walls were tight for him as it had been two weeks since you both last had sex together. You kept a fair pace on his dick, slamming up and down and circling your hips to give a good angle of your walls for his tip. You knew you were pleasuring him as he kept moaning your name and cussing in korean dialect. As you crashed down on him, Yoongi stopped you, "Baby, turn around," he turned you himself before you could process doing it yourself, you still straddled him but facing opposite way, your back toward his chest. You both sat up on the bed, you sitting on his lap, dick fully sheethed in you, as he grabbed your breasts and began to thrust inside you aggressively from below you. Your eyes swelled with pricks of tears from the impact he was giving to your g spot. He grabbed at your shoulder with one hand and your hip with the other hand, gripping you so hard you were sure it'd leave marks as he pounded inside you harder and faster. Blood rushed your head as you reached your high once again practically screaming his full name Min Yoongi, pushing him to his brink as he squirted his orgasm into you, both of your orgasms colliding as you felt your walls fill up.

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ocsxinxpurgatory · 4 years ago

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Feeling the Heat (Introductory Drabble)

Series: Wynonna Earp

Disclaimer: Axel is mine as is the plot while everything and everyone else are borrowed in this work of fan-made fiction off of which no money is made.

Setting: Compliant with Season 1.

Pairing: None

Rating: PG

He wanted to be left alone to his own devices and Axel Rhodes doesn’t think that is asking too much even for a Revenant. He has no desire to deal with anyone on either side of the issue of the curse and would be content to just work on his bike. Funny how that never seems to happen as he’s found by Bobo Del Rey...

*~*~*~*~*~*

Feeling the Heat

He recalled with clarity what had killed him; one of the only things that stuck with him these days and the auburn haired Revenant wished to anyone listening that he could forget. Sighing heavily, he tries to focus on what he was currently doing but it wasn’t easy, nothing seemed to be.

His skin was crawling; an effect of yet another Heir coming into their own no doubt and he was sure this was going to end up being another game of staying out of sight out of mind to keep from being shot at.

It was exhausting at this point.

He lightly twists the wrench muscles bunching under his shirt from nerves he was telling to settle. If there was a new Heir then that was fine. He’d survived the last couple and could stay out of this one’s way, too.

Footsteps catch him off guard and he slides the wrench from around the bolt fingers tightening around it as he waits. “So,” an unfamiliar voice remarks, “Didn’t realize that there was one of you way out here.”

“I’m not sure what you’re talkin’ about,” he says only to feel the item jerk out of his hand right into the stranger’s outstretched palm as the Revenant’s eyes spill to demon-red. “Or, I understand all too well,” he sighs, “What do you want?”

“I would like to know how it is that I missed you.”

“I don’t make it a point to bring attention to myself,” he returns evenly as he slowly rummages and pulls out a different wrench, “Making a nuisance of oneself usually brings a one-way ticket to Hell and I’d rather not have a repeat of that.” He starts working on a different nut hoping to get his first wrench back from the coat-wearing stranger though he’s pretty sure that might be the least of his worries if the male could manipulate metal. “Is there anything else that I can do for you or are you just doing roll-call for Revenants now that the newest heir is coming into their own?”

“Her own. The newest heir is female. Wynonna. Wynonna Earp. And honestly, I’m going to box whatever idiot thought it a good idea to call her back at this point.”

He snorts softly. “Suppose it was bound to happen sooner or later, right? Always does when they turn twenty-seven. They end up here, we’re all here; it’s one hell of a time.”

“Are you always this much of a mouthy little shit or are you just in a mood?”

“Am I...” Irritation fills him and he has to forcibly keep himself from responding to that in a very physical way before retorting, “Honestly, I don’t know who you think you are or what you think I owe you but you can take your parlor tricks and your over-the-top fur coat and go back to whatever part of Purgatory you haunt because I’m not interested in whatever the hell you want.”

“So you’re on your period. Fantastic. I just don’t have time for you to do this right now so…”

Axel has never wanted to sock someone in the face so much as he does this Revenant moreso when the male trails off in order to drag him to his feet by gripping his arm. And that is as far as he’s willing to deal with this. A snarl escapes as flames flare along his skin startling the other. “Don’t. Fucking. Touch. Me.” He draws the flames in close around him almost like a shield as he growls low in his throat. “Fuck off with your nonsense or I’m going to see how much of you I can burn before you think twice about this.”

He expects a lot of things after startling the stranger but not the sight of him throwing his head back and laughing in delight. Axel is not sure what to do with that sort of a reaction at all. And as caught off-guard as he is, he makes the sudden realization that he’s not paid enough attention seconds before a sharp pain hits him. He’s unconscious before he can fully berate himself for not making sure the male was alone.

*~*~*~*

Heavy manacles are what he’s aware of first as he slowly comes to. Clearly the other wasn’t going to be stupid enough to tie him with rope. Pity. He lets his eyes flutter open and finds that, of course, he’s chained to a pole. This was a fantastic way to start whatever this was. He jerks and growls at the lack of give he finds. “Ah, our surly friend is awake. Go get the boss,” a voice remarks making him shift his gaze to a male watching him carefully.

“You know when that fur-coat wearing prick comes here I’m bbq-ing his fucking self don’t you?” he snaps.

The male gives him a strangely amused smile before remarking, “I am sure you’ll try. Good luck with that, by the way.”

Well, that was far from a good start to a conversation, Axel is sure but he’s in no mood to be patronized by anyone. “Who the fuck does he think he is?”

“The boss?” comes the question as the male gazes at him a moment before shaking his head and murmuring, “You really have no idea do you? His name is Bobo Del Rey; resident Revenant King. And you’d be best served by getting in line and not earning his formidable wrath.”

Axel’s lips curve into a snarl before he retorts, “We’ll see about formidable when I have him on fire.”

“Now, now,” comes the familiar voice that has his entire body tensing, “No need to rile him up, Levi.”

“You’re going to be fucking burnt toast in a minute.”

“He apparently doesn’t need my help, Boss, I think he just comes standard in that mood.”

Slowly, the other approaches again and Axel twists his wrists, wishing his hands were free because it was easier to use his element with his fingers as the conduits. He’d make due, he was capable of it but it took far more concentration than he liked. “There is zero reason for you to use your fire-wielding on me,” the Revenant remarks, “I’m far from threatening you.”

“Really?” he spits at him, “‘Cause I don’t know when you were alive but chaining a man up doesn’t exactly send that sort of a signal.”

“Well, considering your complete lack of sensibility, I didn’t think I had much of a choice. You make yourself a threat without much prodding so I have to be sure you’re not going to set the compound on fire first and then ask questions.”

“I did make it clear that I have no interest in anything you might want didn’t I? I’m not in the mood for whatever conversations entail with anyone involved in this fucking curse. Leave me alone.”

“Ah huh, problem with that is none of you seem to be able to stay out of trouble if someone isn’t watching over you. And since I’ve worked way too hard to have my plans messed up by idiots I’m deciding that corralling you all is much less of a headache than waiting for whoever wants to try and convince our newest Heir to just shoot us all and be done with it. So you are going to stay out here until you decide to play nicely.”

Axel’s eyes narrow. “You can’t be...Are you just that hard-up on needing to feel like you’re in control? Fucking hell, I thought I got away from personalities like you when I ditched Lou. Apparently…”

And he has the other way closer than he’d like, stormy blue eyes narrowing. “You’ve met Lou?”

Axel snorts. “Yeah, he’s as much of a prick as you are and twice as irritating. Do you mind getting out of my personal space? I’m about as willing to do what you say as I was with him. At least you were lucky to see my abilities. Didn’t think it was prudent to show a male who, let’s face it, would have me set the entire Ghost River Triangle on fire. Not interested, thanks. So can you please just take the goddamn chains off? I’m not into non-consensual bondage.”

“Smart move, probably the only smart one you’ve managed to date, in not letting Lou know you could do that because you are right; you would have been used as a weapon.”

“I’m aware,” comes his bitter response, “Now, about you getting out of my personal space, think you could manage that? You’re not at all what I would call good company.” He watches the male gaze at him a few long minutes before he steps a few inches closer, making Axel tense before he merely reaches and lets the manacles pop open.

There is a clear wariness as Axel brings his hands in front of him rubbing his wrists and keeping his focus on the metal wielding Revenant. He isn’t sure what to make of the scruffy male and is quite sure that there is a reason he’s the sort that even Lou spoke of sparingly. Bobo Del Rey was a dangerous adversary and he did not hide that fact. At all. “What is it that you want, exactly?”

“As I told you; I want you all to keep clear of the newest Heir so that she doesn’t start just picking off Revenants. I don’t think any of us want to have a return trip to hell so keeping tabs on all of you is just simpler.”

“I was doing just fine…”

“Moving around from one abandoned place to the next? How long did you actually think you could haunt out there before being chased off?”

He dislikes that the male has a point but it was still his choice. And if he was going to be wandering around at least it would be on his own volition. He was not particularly interested in having to answer to anyone. “As much as I understand the need to not get us murdered by the Heir, I still have no intent of dealing with other Revenants. I’m not interested.”

“Is that so? Even if it means a place to work on your bike safely?”

Axel stills disliking the question because it was a clear trap and the gaze alone tells him that it was. But the bait...Oh, this man was good. “I’m not using my fire abilities to set the triangle on fire. Period.”

“Not asking you to,” comes the immediate response, “Might ask you to help out if the electricity goes out or if we’re having a BBQ. Small things.”

Axel is pretty sure he should bolt; leave his bike which was no doubt there and take his chances elsewhere because it would be so much safer. There was no promise here that wasn’t a trap in some way; he had been alive too long to be fooled. The question was if the trap was worth getting stuck in for what he’d gain.

Axel isn’t sure of that part which is why he hesitates to answer right away. He watches the male just size him up; no rushing no more pressure. Just his offer. There was something telling about the fact that he was just waiting to see what Axel would do with the choice laid before him. “So, I stay here...where exactly?”

The male grins at him. “This is a trailer park. There are trailers. You’d get one.”

Well, that was more than he’d been offered before. Slowly, his shoulders relax. “Okay, fine, fine. You want to keep an eye on Revenants and I just don’t want to fight with anyone else about...literally anything at this point. I’m tired. I’m bone-fucking tired at this point.”

“Trust me, it’s going around. So, I’m Bobo Del Rey and I run this place.”

Axel slowly reaches and takes the offered hand. “Axel,” he replies, “Axel Rhodes.”

“Well, Axel, welcome to my piece of Purgatory. So long as you’re willin’ to do as asked and not cause me grief, I’m more than happy to just leave you to mostly your own devices.”

Axel could only wonder who might not be so willing but he decides that there was no reason to wonder that much and focuses on other things. “So,” he ventures after shaking Bobo’s hand, “About my bike…”

The male grins widely at him. “C’mon, I suppose I should introduce you to the pair I think you’re going to be spending the most time with around here.”

“Suppose it was too much to ask to not be introduced to anyone else?”

Bobo Del Rey chuckles before remarking, “Oh, I think they might just grow on you.”

“Yeah, I highly doubt it.”

#Wearp OC: Axel Rhodes #Axel Rhodes Drabble

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nerdy-flower · 6 years ago

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@sinunamor IT IS WRITTEN

Sorry for the heckin long wait ;^; here it is! Ernest Growing Up Part 3/3! (For now~)

(Ernest curses a lot and it’s a little sad at the beginning, otherwise it’s G)

It isn't working.

In spite of everything, Ernest came out of college doing kind of okay. He had an alright resume, a little pocket of savings, some furniture. Better than some kids he sat next to at graduation, for sure. He gets that coveted first apartment to himself- literally a room and a bathroom. The water pressure is like a dog lifting its leg and peeing on him and the neighbours are obnoxious, but it was his. He was paying rent! Utilities! Insurance, even! Life was looking up! Was.

He stayed in the city he went to school in, With his Pop's new condo a half hour away, it didn't feel so far. They'd have dinner all the time. Pop would give him tips on places to go and things to see. At one point, he says he wouldn't have moved here if he didn't know Ernest was staying. Ernest didn't have a great answer for that, tongue sudden;y stuck. They get froyo anyway.

His shit job became two shit jobs and then one again, then two, then three very briefly, then one with occasional paid-in-cash online ads stuff. Maybe illegal? Only in a tax law way, so whatever. He busts his ass- well, some of the time. Sometimes he half-asses it and gets paid anyway, other times he gets fired, depends on the place. What it comes down to is that he never has enough money. All the Gen Z-targeted personal finance advice blogs are shit, too. “Get a roommate!” For where? The cupboard under his kitchen sink?

Actually, in his postal code, someone might take it. But they'd be just as broke as him.

Even now, he feels spoiled and pathetic. Plenty of people just had to make do, they didn't have a Dad to send cheques in the mail, a stepdad to order them groceries online, a Pop to full-on spot them rent money. He tries and tries to make it work and he /can't./

Finally, he picks up the phone. “Dad?”

“Ernest? What's the matter? Is everything-”

“Can I come home?” With his stuff, he means, with the furniture he can't use anymore and his rejected debit card and-

Hugo makes this little noise, a very parental click of concern that sticks right in his chest. “Of course, always.”

Lucien drives him because he's been working solely off his laptop and following Pablo around the East Coast. Ernest isn't a hundred percent on what he does, but it's enough to pay for a rental van and a premium streaming account so commercials don't interrupt their drawn-out silence on the way back North to Maple Bay.

“Do you need to be an asshole about this? I said I was sorry, okay? I'll pay you back as soon as I get money, /god./”

“All I asked,” Lucien drawls, smartass as always. “Is if you wanted me to buy you a bagel. So I'll just buy your least favourite one and we'll carry the fuck on, shall we?”

Ernest officially hates everything forever, but mostly himself.

Dad and Damien welcome them home with big, awkward hugs and lots of understanding when he wants to go to bed straightaway and they left his room the way it was and /fuck/-

Pics or it didn't happen, as the young adults say. If no one sees him crying and hugging his teddy in his mid-twenties, it never took place.

His dignity drops a few more points the next day when he has to beg and plead with his Dad not to tell Pop.

“What if he goes to your place and you're not there?” Hugo insists, hands soapy from washing the dishes. “He'll be so worried!”

“He always calls or texts first, always,” Ernest thrusts another dried plate into the cupboard and balls his fists together. “I'm not gonna pretend forever, honest. /Please/, Dad, just a few more days, that's all I'm asking. It's my thing to tell him, anyway!”

“Okay, okay,” Hugo holds his hands up in a peacemaking gesture. He tucks some overgrown hair behind his ear- shit, he's gone even more grey. His dads are going grey and he can't afford his own Netflips account. “I won't tell him, but if he calls and asks, I'm not going to lie. Alright?”

“Fair enough,” Ernest sighs through his nose, tucking the cutlery away in brooding silence. Goddammit, he's too old to brood. This sucks.

Hugo watches him a minute before draining the sink. “Have you heard from Carmensita? She's back in town, you two should meet for coffee or something. Get your mind off things.”

Ernest swings his head around, barely listening to the second half of the sentence. “She's back already? I know she was talking about it, but- yeah. I'll text her.”

He does, and they meet up, later that day because his schedule is open indefinitely. He waves to River and Crish, doing something with multiple types of sportsballs in the Cahn family driveway and thankfully too focused to do more than wave back. Carmensita comes strolling out of Mat's house in a flower-print romper and jogs up the sidewalk to him and he's never, ever been so happy to see someone.

Except that time he got lost at Disney World, but we don't talk about that.

“There's my favourite human!” Ernest laughs as she hops up to hug him. He insists he never got taller, she got shorter, but she still gives the greatest hugs. “No more braids, huh? That's a big change.”

Carmensita giggles and teases her fingers through her mohawk, her sides shaved down to thatches of brown fuzz. “I just got it done, do you like it? It's pretty different, for me at least.”

“I love it,” Ernest scratches one side of her undercut until she playfully bats his hand away. “Nah, it suits you. Makes you look cool and smart, like you're gonna mess somebody up but with your know-how instead of your fists.”

“Overly specific, but I'll take it.” Carmensita grins, a flash of snarky white and he feels like he can stand up straighter. They wave again at the over-active River on their way across the cul-de-sac, and 'Sita leans in to him, talking behind her hand. “You heard about Ashley and Mary, right?”

“Yeah, I sure did.” Ernest glances across the street, almost feeling eyes on him from Mary's house. Which used to be Julian's house, but then Julian and Damien talked and agreed to sell it to Mary shortly after her divorce so she could get out of Damien's spare bedroom and have enough space that custody would be a non-issue. Julian was totally cool with it, because he was practically moved in with Mat anyway and Amanda was fully settled into New York- “God, this neighbourhood is weird.”

“Something in the groundwater, I think,” Carmensita laughs, shaking her head. “Craig's the real deal though. He's legit totally cool with it. I was here in time for the first summer BBQ and I expected, y'know, some awkwardness.”

“Folks around here save all the awkwardness for their kids,” Ernest drawl to make her laugh again. It's nearly sticky outside, but he refuses to remove his sweater. He goes bare-armed for exactly two months a year, tans up real nice, and goes right back into his cotton cocoons of happiness. “So how's life n'stuff?”

“Life n'stuff is pretty good. I've got all my boxes unpacked in less than two months, so that's my record.” She slips off her glasses to polish them on her shirt. “I'll show you my place when we get there, I'm teaching piano lessons out of my living room right now, and- oh! You know what tonight is, right? Are you busy?”

Ernest shakes his head to both, he's been too depressed to check social media and he definitely isn't busy. “What's tonight?”

Carmensita grins wide and imitates an airhorn to punctuate her words. “Open mic night! Woo woo woo!”

It's a little different to watch from the audience with everyone else. The Cahn twins are working part-time at the Spoon now and they're the ones doing the backstage stuff. Lucien drives into town for it, Pablo's tour wrapping up with 'boring business shit' that he'd apparently rather skip. The three of them claim a corner table with high stools and enjoy the quirky parade.

His dad was right, it is nice to forget about his bullshit for a while. He recognizes kids he used to see racing around the playground strumming guitars and nervously messing up their lyrics. Back then he would have made fun of them, and maybe he does chuckle a little, but he gives them credit. He hasn't been on a stage in- oof, at least a year. Discounting karaoke, of course. He wonders what Disaster Master Quinn is up to these days.

The night ends, early enough for all the teens to go to bed, with a pretty tight Sunstroke Project cover on theramin. There is much clapping and whooping and thanking before everyone starts clearing out. Carmensita chugs the rest of her coffee, discreetly wiping her mouth on her sleeve. “Alright, let's pay our tabs and head upstairs. Who's feeling Mario Party?”

“You know I am,” Lucien smirks as they gather their things. “None of the car ones though, I hate that shit.”

Ernest loses the thread of the conversation because there's a hiss of static in his ears. He can't pay his tab. His chequing account is a negative number and he can't remember if their register takes credit or not but that's not an option either. He's too broke. To pay for a goddamn /tea./ God, why does he only clue into shit when it's too late?

The thought of asking them to pay makes him wanna puke, so he performs the maneuver that saved him from many a terrible college party: the Irish Goodbye.

The crowd makes it easy to slip away. He lopes through the parking lot and heads into the undeveloped no-man's land behind the softball field. He shuts off his phone, which any rational instinct would encourage him not to do. He's gonna take the long, long way home and- then what? Isn't that just the biggest fucking question of his life- and then what, you witless idiot?

The static does not stop as he hurries through the warm summer air, eventually cutting across the street and walking down the bay. His pulse is really high for no friggin' reason and he probably couldn't type a text if he needed to- wait, is this a panic attack? No, come on. He's too old to get on any of his dads' benefits. He can't be doing this. He can't, he can't-

A car drives up slowly beside him, and he has a split-second of facing his death before the window rolls down to reveal two annoyed, very familiar faces. “You live in my Dad's house, what the hell was your long-term plan with this?”

“Look, I'm sorry, I couldn't pay and I-” Ernest rakes a hand through his hair, pulling on his scalp. “I'm sorry I'm such a fuck-up, okay? I shouldn't have come out tonight, I'm no good to be around right now.”

Carmensita runs her tongue over her bottom lip. “You ditched us over a four-ninety-seven tab?”

“I called it.”

She scowls, undoes her seatbelt, and clambers out of the passenger door, stomping around to his side. “Give me your face, right now. C'mere-”

Ernest hunches his shoulders so she can reach, mostly out of confusion. She takes his cheeks in her warm hands and paps them with each word, like she's trying to wake up a drunk guy in a movie. “We're not hanging out with your wallet! We want to hang out with /you,/ if you'll stop! Being! Such! A! Dumbass!”

“Can you stop smacking my face?”

“Maybe,” Carmensita drops her hands after two more, crossing her arms. “Seriously though, not cool. What's gotten into you?”

“Dude, I forgot that I couldn't afford to buy a bagel, like how fucked am I?” Ernest scrubs his face, palms burning with his need for a shave. “Everything's so messed up right now. I feel like a complete waste of space.”

“Again with this?” Lucien makes an irritated noise from the car, leaning out the window. “Like you're the only one who's ever been broke. How much money do you think I had after college?”

“Why do you think I'm living over my dad's shop?” Carmensita tilts her head at him. “I know you're upset, but you're not on your own, for god's sake. I would have bought you that bagel anyway, you didn't need to freak out.”

“Guhhhh,” Ernest pushes the heel of one palm against his eye. “I'm sorry I'm such an idiot. I can barely fuckin' think right now.”

“Do you wanna go home or do you wanna play video games with us?” Lucien asks, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. “No judgment either way. But maybe decide quick, before some cops come by and get all up in our business.”

Ernest would really like to bury himself in all of his blankets but, in the interest of not continuing to screw up his personal relationships, he picks the right choice. “Video games, please.”

They collectively kick the CPU's ass at getting stars and Carmensita hugs him before he leaves, Lucien's taillights in the distance. “You're not a waste of space, okay? It'll get better, just don't let things get this bad again.”

He almost misses being the one to cheer her up. It's a shitty thing to miss, but at least he didn't go home feeling all squashed on the inside.

Ernest gets up the guts to call his Pop a few days later. He's totally cool about it, even though he sunk how much into that one room. Somehow that makes Ernest feel worse.

“Trust me, my credit in my early twenties was a /mess,/ I was really stupid with my money. It was bad. Like, scary bad. Your gramps flipped his lid when he saw my pile of bills on the table.”

“Mine's a mess too,” Ernest mumbles, knees folded up to his chest as he leans back against his headboard.

“Yeah, but it's more fixable than it looks. It'll just take time. If you owned a car or something that would be kinda rough, but hey, I turned it around, didn't I? Before I met your dad too, no way would he have dated pre-grad school me. Nuh-uh,” Pop laughs, a hiss-crack in his ear because he does this weird almost-silent laugh that Ernest makes fun of constantly. “Tell you what, I'll pay off your card so you're not getting those assholes calling you every day. Then you can focus on finding a job, I heard they have a youth program you'd still-”

“I'm sorry,” Ernest manages to wobble out, a big lump in his throat as the tears burn.

“What?” Pop's voice turns all anxious and concerned, which hurts even worse. “Hey, kiddo, it's alright. You don't have to be sorry. I know you were trying your best, it's really tough when you're starting out alone-”

“I'm so sorry,” Ernest hiccups, covering his face with his hand as he snots. “I can't pay you back and I probably never will and I'm gonna have to put Dad in a nursing home with cockroaches because they just slashed teacher pensions again and everything is so fucked /forever./”

“Ernest, Ernest, listen to me,” Pop's voice strains against the weak receiver of his phone. “Nothing is fucked, okay? No one's mad at you. We'll fix this, I promise. Ernest?”

It's a rough month, for sure. Pop comes to visit. Him and Dad have been really good at not-bitching-at-each-other since he crossed that adulthood threshold. Maybe it was child support that made them fight after all. Pop used to get these little digs into dad, telling him to quit and go into something with a future. Maybe him and money are just cursed or something.

He loses it again when they hug him at the same time. He's only gotten those at graduations and he's all out of those now. “We would do anything and everything for you, do you hear me?” Dad is halfway out of his lawn chair, the three of them on the back porch, having borrowed a little barbecue from Brian. “I'd rather have you here than starving in some apartment somewhere. Everything's going to be fine, mijo. I promise.”

“I'll bring you down for a visit whenever you want.” Pop assures him as he's leaving, hugging him again. It's so weird that he's taller than him now. “If you want to move, I'll help. But honestly, you might be better off here for a bit. Rent is going crazy in the city and it's not worth it.”

“How does a couple hours' drive make such a huge difference?” Ernest sniffs, shuffling in the driveway.

“I mean, I could explain but it's really boring.” He smiles and ruffles his hair. “You'll be alright, kiddo. Don't worry so much, okay?” Easier said than done, but it's well-meant. He accepts it.

He does qualify for extra help at the employment place, but unfortunately he has a humanities degree, which means no marketable skills. Which means part-time at the small bougie grocery store downtown, which is in fact a hell of a lot better than nothing.

“Excuse me.” An older woman clutching a plastic handbag strolls up to him while he's stocking shelves. “Do you have any of those sweet honey mustards?”

“No ma'am, sorry. We ran out.”

She narrows her beady eyes at him. “Why?”

Most of the time.

Carmensita's doing pretty well for herself between the Coffee Spoon and her piano lessons. Not move-into-her-own-place good, but she's got a nice little loft space over the shop. Sick prints up all over the walls, those fairy lights she's always liked, her keyboard set up beside her computer desk all tidy for when the kids come by. Ernest spends his off-hours googling potential side-hustles and making music for the first time in a while.

“-Practically everybody's stressed, yes!” Ernest snaps his fingers with one hand and runs his beats with the other. “But they press through the mess, bounce cheques, and wonder what's next!”

“In the heights! I buy my coffee and I go,” Carmensita sings clear as anything, laying into her keys. “Set my sights on only what I need to know...”

“Girl, how'd you get so good at that? Damn,” Ernest shakes his head after they stop recording. “It's like Mandy Gonzalez was right here.”

“Vocal coaching, son!” Carmensita grins, sticking out her thumb and pinky finger and twisting her wrist. “Taught me how to sing from the diaphraaaaaaagm.”

Ernest cracks up at the low note she hits, spinning around in her chair and staring at the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to the ceiling. “Hey, do you ever feel bad for being happy? Like, you're not supposed to be, or something?”

“Hell yeah, all the time,” Carmensita stretches, laying out on her secondhand piano bench and popping her back. “Like if I'm having a good day I get thinking, 'oh but if I was at X point, I could be doing Y.' I think I'm scared I'll get complacent or something.”

“Yeah,” Ernest sits up, catching his feet on the carpet. “But like, I don't know how long our whole generation's gonna be stuck like this. So if we can't enjoy this...”

“Oof, heavy stuff.” Carmensita swats at the bag of mini Oreos until he passes it to her, grabbing a handful himself. “This isn't so bad though. Who knows, maybe we'll look back with nostalgia goggles and miss it.”

“Yeah.” He settles back in the chair, toying with the music program on his aging laptop. “Maybe.”

Carmensita sits up, tugging her off-the-shoulder t-shirt back down where it had ridden up on her belly. “Wanna eat pot brownies and watch Bebop again?”

Ernest scoffs. “Is that even a question?”

By the time Pablo and Lucien come down for Thanksgiving Part One (there's always cliffhanger holidays with divorced parents, but it's not so bad anymore, it's just a part of it), his life has a routine. He's too grown to resent 'being another cog in the machine' in any significant way. Predictable income and free time is a blessing and a half and he's not giving it up unless he works his way up to something real good. Which will take time, and energy, and so, so much luck.

But right now he's got a favourite lunch and does his share of the chores (cleaning Damien's weird house only seems daunting, it just takes a lot of furniture polish and a big-ass feather duster). He sees his Pop as often as he can with him jetting all over the continent, texting when they're in different time zones and laughing about stupid coworker stories (his Pop's are more maddening, apparently higher salaries don't strain out the truly incompetent, somehow that's comforting, too).

He can pay for Coffee Spoon bagels now, coming to Carmensita's aid during lulls in her shifts. Both their schedules are pretty regular, so they exchange barely a message or two before coming to see each other at certain points in the week. With what pocket money they do have, they get concert tickets once or twice, go ice skating, and buy fries at the mall, wandering around the stores after dark and trying to pick out new versions of themselves. Mostly they just go home with small things they don't need and pricey chocolate bars they split. When she gets wicked cramps, he hits her up with aspirin and movies they've seen ten times. When he can't get out of bed, she sends him memes and cute dog videos.

Dad and Damien are gross as per usual, but they're also way less nosy than they used to be. It's weird to just take off for the day or night without any further questions. Though coming back is a different story.

“I got your text,” Hugo leans out of the study (yes, they have one, of course they do) when he hears Ernest's sock feet shuffling up the hallway. “What happened?”

“I don't know,” Ernest shrugs, unbuttoning his uniform shirt. “A sewer main burst while they were working on the parking lot. The fire department scooted everyone out of there pretty quick, it smelled awful. I had better get paid for the full shift.”

“You have a right to, you weren't the one driving the backhoe.” His dad grins, re-shelving a book before shutting the door. “On the bright side, unexpected free time is always a bonus.”

“It sure is, and I'm gonna use it to take a well-deserved nap.”

“Oh.” A beat while he fixes his expression. “Okay, I'll record that documentary for you.”

Ernest turns, hand on the ornate doorframe. “Is that on today?” Hugo's eager nod goes right between his ribs and he smiles. “Nah, I'll watch it with you. Naps mess up my sleep schedule anyway, make me all cranky in the morning.”

“As opposed to any other morning?”

“Rude,” he snorts while his dad chuckles. “I'll be down in a minute, okay? Just gotta get changed and stuff.”

“Okay.” Not five minutes into changing and checking his email, he gets a text.

HV: You want to order in for dinner? Two-for-one at the pizza place

HV: We can get those chicken bite things, I have a coupon :)

Ernest laughs, oddly reminded of coming home to Duchess after high school sleepovers. He sends a quick 'sure dad,' and takes some of his recycling down. They spend the evening in their boxers on the couch in the den, three of the four hairless cats Damien had adopted when they came through the shelter (he didn't last long post-Duchess once he had a taste of pet ownership) snuggled up beside and on top of them. It's not their first or last night spent this way.

He does quietly scream to the heavens at the mere suggestion of a girlfriend. “I'm a cashier- oh, sorry, 'customer service associate.' All I've got to offer someone right now is pocket lint and my winning personality.”

“But that is precisely what you should be offering in a relationship!” Damien insists, winding black tinsel up the staircase while Ernest does the same on the other side. “If wealth was a prerequisite, only the rich would fall in love.”

“I don't need to be rich, but I do need a little something to put in my dating profile, you know?” He's already down a few pegs courtesy of his 'no sex for me please' sexuality, but he won't bring that up now. Tis the season, and all that.

“You have much to include! You are in possession of many fine qualities,” Damien smiles at him, looking less vampire and more nerd with his hair up in a bun and his glasses on. His outfit is like Dickens and Mary Shelley had a weird baby, though. “Your father and I just think it would be nice if you had someone special in your life, that's all. We're not pressuring you to bring someone home for the holidays.”

“Well, that's appreciated,” Ernest ties off the tinsel, zipping up his hoodie again. What did thermostats ever do to fathers, anyway? “I'm just kind focusing on me right now. I'll get in a relationship when I'm in a better spot.”

“Ah, that is fair,” Damien grabs another handful of tinsel for the top banisters. “But love can happen upon you when you least expect it. Such was the case for me both times.”

Ernest had never decided if Damien getting sappy about his dead husband or his very-alive husband who is also Ernest's dad was worse, they might tie for first place.

EHV: Plz never let me become this gross n sentimental when I'm old plz

LB: You cry at Hamilton now and you've seen it so many fing times

EHV: ELIZA DESERVED BETTER GDI DON'T START W ME

CS: I WILL CRY AT ITS QUIET UPTOWN UNTIL THE DAY I DIE FIGHT ME SCRUB

EHV: YEAH THAT'S RIGHT

LB: Oh ffs I forgot this was the groupchat

Speaking of awkward sad times, this year's holidays are busy and bright and not as rushed as last year where he could barely visit anyone for more than a couple hours, but the same anniversary comes around. He's celebrating a third Christmas up at Damien's parents place over New Year's weekend, laughing it up while everyone is maybe too drunk, but he has a sixth sense when that text buzzes in.

CS: I wish missing someone didn't hurt so much :(

EHV: I know <3

CS: Dad's sad, but he's got Julian now

CS: I'm just by myself up in my old room, they're asleep already

EHV: Aw, shit. Do you want me to call you?

CS: No, you're with family. I'm fine

EHV: Everyone is tipsy and Dad is losing at trivial pursuit

CS: Okay then yes please <3

He makes his first appearance at open mic night in the cold and crisp new year. One technical glitch makes him nearly piss himself but it otherwise goes okay. Carmensita sings right after him, her dad on guitar and it's so frickin' good.

“God, you guys are so cool,” he says afterwards, spinning a bottle of Windex around his finger and taking Wild West-style aim at the glass in front of the baked goods.

“Glad I've still got it,” Mat grins, going back to counting the money. “You should do more of these, everyone was super into it. There's another place that does really good open mics out in the boonies, it's a cafe-arthouse thing.”

“You think so?” Ernest had immediately repressed all memory of his performance upon leaving the stage, it was a good coping technique.

“We should start a YouWatch channel!” Carmensita exclaims, as if for the first time, though she's been bugging him for weeks. “We'll do covers to get the subs, then post our own stuff! I bet we could get sponsors!”

“Mister Sella,” Ernest says very seriously. “Are you aware that your daughter is selling out to the man?”

'Sita hits him with a broom, but he does decide to take the leap. Not like starting a channel takes a lot of upfront capital investment, exactly. They do pool money for one good mic, and figure they'll work their way up if it turns out to be worth it. They pick songs from their early teens to indulge their own and others' guilty pleasure fix, and they do weird remixes of things that aren't songs, and he convinces Carmensita to do tag videos. It's fun, and some people like it. Not a ton, but hey, maybe someday.

They only complain on days they're not recording, not wanting to wreck their voices. This time they're slumped on Ernest's bed, him whinging continuously after his first attempt at online dating ended in utter failure, therefore he should give up and never try again, right? Less money on dating, more money to eventually adopt dogs?

“Ernest, I want you to try something.” Carmensita reaches over and covers his eyes, her voice only a little exasperated. “Envision what you want in a relationship. Dad taught me this, I used it to figure out where I wanted to go for college.”

“Okay. Does it work, or is it some hokey bullshit?”

“Quit being rude and humour me, dammit.”

“Alright, alright,” he laughs, feeling her well-manicured thumb jab his cheek. He wets his lips while he thinks for a moment. “Uh, I wanna be with someone who's funny and nice, fun to be around.”

“Okay, can we get a little more depth than that?”

“Give me a second here, woman,” he snorts. “I want- someone who's chill, who likes some of the stuff I like- not everything, but we gotta have stuff to do together, you know?” Carmensita hums. “I want- I really want someone I can build a future with. I don't wanna just play around, y'know? I want someone responsible- heh, maybe not too responsible. But someone I can trust, someone I can see myself having kids with.”

“Woah, you want kids-plural now?”

“Well not a whole bunch, but two would be nice. They can play with each other- anyway,” Ernest gulps, strangely caught up in the thought process. “I want someone who when I look at her- I just want all the good stuff in the world for her. She's going places and she's talented- I want someone who I really get, who gets me back. When people talk about marrying their best friend, that's- that's what I want. Someone who- accepts me, and we can be ourselves around each other, always.”

They're quiet a moment, Carmensita's hand still on his face. She takes it away slowly and smiles softly. “So, you want what you have with me, but with kissing?”

Ernest blanks for a solid thirty seconds before raising his finger. “Okay, first of all, when did you get so smooth?”

Carmensita laughs, loud and cute, sweeping some loose curls off her forehead and looking at him with these eyes- he's never seen her look at him like that until now. Or maybe he was just that clueless. “Is that really all you want to ask me?”

Ernest swallows, loud enough to hear it, sitting up a little straighter. “Can I- kiss you?”

“I don't know, can you?”

He groans outright, dropping his head on her shoulder while she giggles. “One of these days, 'Sita, one of these days.”

She smells really nice this close, maybe it's her shampoo? It's damn good, whatever it is. Her hands end up on his shoulders, not pressing, just holding him. He lifts his head and god, that little moment of eye contact before they both lean forward-

First kisses are not usually perfect, but he's willing to call this one close enough. She's warm and soft beneath his lips. His arms slip around her waist and it's like she was made to fit against him. He outright sighs when they part, kissing her nose just to hear her laugh again.

“Are you-” He can't quite find his words right now, his mind cycling through all the new and so very nice stimuli his senses are taking in. Carmensita's always been beautiful to him but he never thought, never let himself- “Do you- are you sure you wanna do this? I can't- I really like you, but I don't think I'll ever be able to do the physical stuff. You deserve-”

She presses a finger to his lips and he silences himself immediately, distracted by the light of her eyes. “There's nothing I want that online shopping with discreet shipping can't provide. None of that 'you deserve better' crap. I want you, if you want me back, then we should keep kissing and see where it takes us.”

Ernest works his jaw for a few moments, then nods. “Yeah, I can get behind that train of thought.”

Carmensita's laugh as he pulls her in for more smooches is the sweetest sound he's ever heard.

They end up cuddling up and falling asleep together- hahaha an asexual sleeping with someone on the first date, hahaha, puns and stuff -a bonus of neither of them having morning shifts the next day and Carmensita not having anyone expecting her back at home. He wakes up before she does, spooned up behind her, all their clothes rumpled, the blankets cocooned around them. He kisses the nape of her neck and sighs. He feels content, for the first time in a while.

The softest of knocks precedes the door creaking open. “Hey, Ernest, do you want- /oh/.”

The door shuts quickly, rousing Carmensita and making Ernest groan. “So much for keeping quiet about it.”

“Were we going to?” She yawns, sitting up and stretching. “Also, I'm bringing my silk pillowcases or we're only sleeping at my place. How do you live like this?”

“I dunno, I'm a mess.” He laughs and sits up, a tentative hand on her back. “I just- I'm scared. We've been friends for so long, I don't want to risk it going badly.”

“But if we don't risk it going badly, we also don't risk it going well.” She clumsily boops his nose, smiling dopily at him. “Guess which outcome I have my money on?”

“Girl, what money?” He laughs when she jabs him in the stomach. He leans in for a kiss after a moment, realizing that they can do that now, and smooches her cheek gladly. “So, if the Dads know, that means we're officially an 'us.'”

“We are.” She grins and kisses his cheek back. “I like being an us, it's pretty great so far.”

“It is.” He grins back, feeling like he can't stop. Shit, it's really happening. Is he in love? Is that an okay word to use after literally one very unexpected day? Probably not out loud.

He walks her downstairs, and they whisper-laugh a few walk-of-shame jokes before she heads out in her poofy pink coat, leaving him alone with the giddy feeling in his gut. In the dining room, Dad and Damien are doing maybe the worst acting job he's ever seen. “Are you two gonna make a big deal out of this?”

“Make a big deal out of what?” Damien inquires with convincing innocence, frying pan and spatula in hand.

“Yes, is there something we should make a big deal out of?” Hugo smiles, legitimately doing the newspaper crossword like he's a goddamn cartoon character.

Ernest sighs and drops into his chair, accepting several pancakes from Damien. “We literally just started- dating, I guess. No wedding bells, no grandbabies, nothing crazy yet, so please relax.”

“You know we're not like that.”

“Certainly, I'm not my mother.” Damien chuckles, almost unconsciously rubbing Hugo's robe-covered arm while they eat. So gross, but also goals.

“But, out of curiosity,” Hugo teasingly elbows him. “Did you kiss her yet?”

The dads laugh while Ernest howls. He'd text his Pop for backup, but he will get the exact same shit in different wording. He pulls out his phone and texts Lucien instead.

EHV: Hey Carmensita and I are dating just FYI

LB: About gd time, you've been heart eyes at her for literal years

CS: What

CS: Lucien why would you not tell me this

CS: I COULD HAVE SAVED SO MUCH TIME >:(

EHV: Oh shit group chat again

LB: Let's rename these things plz

EHV: Sorry babe <3

CS: Np hon ;*

LB: And here I am, third wheeling it again

EHV: You are basically married stfu

LB: That does not make this better

CS: Ladies ladies, you're both pretty

EHV: Sita knows whats uppppp

LB: Finishing BNHA this weekend y/n?

CS: Y, obvs

EHV: Also Y, I'm off at 7 don't watch ahead

LB: Don't walk so slow and we won't

EHV: Eat a dick

CS: G2g, love you guys

EHV: Love ya too

LB: <3

LB: Also, straaaaaaaaaaight

EHV: Fuckin really dude

LB: Someone has to

LB: Tell Dad I'm coming for dinner tonight

EHV: Will do, bye weeb

LB: Cya loser

#sinunamor #dream daddy #dream daddy hc #ddadds #ernest hemingway vega #carmensita sella #ernestsita

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cocksuki2 · 2 years ago

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it is really crazy to me looking at my life now with the perspective i had at 14. y’know there’s the part about believing that i wouldn’t even make it to 21, let alone be happy about it, but there is also the fact that i have so many people in my life who love me. i quite literally ended up with the life i thought was a pipe dream when i was in middle and high school. i was fully content with thinking that having lots of friends who love me was just not in the cards for whatever reason.

i live in a house with five other people, all of which are amazing. we get along and actually want to hang out with each other. we are comfortable sharing about ourselves, we are understanding of personal space, and we understand boundaries. all within the realm of still being friends who live together. my house is always full of laughing girls, of home cooked meals, of the smell of fresh baked cookies. we sit on the kitchen floor until midnight and laugh together, we cook together, we dance through the house, we scream at video games until our throats are raw. there is always someone willing to play a game with me or watch a movie on the couch. there is always someone to talk to, always a shoulder, always a friend nearby.

the friends i don’t live with, i see almost every day. they stop by on their way home from work just to say hello, they plan surprises for each other, they reach out to friends who haven’t seen us in a while and invite them along. they remember birthdays and anniversaries and favorite foods and activities we enjoyed doing.

i never once imagined that i would have people like that in my life. a large group of people who i can tell anything to, who i don’t need to perform for, who respect my interests and think they’re cool even if they don’t understand. it was genuinely something i never thought i’d have.

today, i texted the group chat and asked if they want to go get korean bbq in the city and now 13 people are showing up. i will have to call ahead and make a reservation to fit all of the people i love at the table. i get to make spontaneous plans with the people i care about and they will want to go. that’s where i am in life right now and it is like i’m living in one of my high school daydreams.

every time i reminded of the fact that im surrounded by people who i love so much on a daily basis, i make a point to look back at who i used to be. it feels so good to know that regardless of those past experiences, everything is okay right now. i love my friends and they love me and tonight we’re getting spontaneous korean bbq.

#cal.personal #i dunno im just #im so grateful every day for them #ive never been happier #im really really lucky to know them #and i think everyone else who has had the pleasure of knowing them is too #my favorite people <3

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travelingtheusaandeurope · 4 years ago

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How to Spend 48 Hours in Joshua Tree National Park

Joshua Tree National Park looks like something out of a youngsters's storybook. It's not unusual to listen to people taking advantage of terms like enchanting or spiritual to describe just how they probe this park. The most famous points to do below are strolling or treking among the trees, climbing the imposing rock wall surface areas, camping under the celebs, taping the beauty in images, or just taking in the calmness of the desert. Develop where the Mojave along with Colorado Deserts satisfy, the park has an intricate landscape, with considerably numerous appearances and likewise greenery depending on the altitude. Some areas are covered with fully grown Joshua trees when it comes to the eye can see, and also others are entirely without these trees yet still utilize their own distinct sophistication. Well located nature training courses, treking tracks, as well as cars and truck pullouts are expanded throughout the park, providing straightforward access to this marvelous landscape. Although the park incorporates some 800,000 acres, a lot of it is not obtainable by roadway. 2 main roads go through the park: Park Blvd, which runs west to east from Twentynine Palms as well as also the North Entranceway to the West Entrance along with the community of Joshua Tree; as well as likewise Pinto Container Road, which connects Park Blvd as well as runs southern to north from Interstate 10 and likewise the Cottonwood Site visitor Center to the North Entry and the community of Twentynine Palms. Park Blvd is the primary location of the park that is of interest to a great deal of website visitors, but various other areas of passion are found along the north half of Pinto Container Road. Bear in mind that pets are not enabled on tracks in the park; the only exemption is the Refuge of Mara led path. Pets are allowed on-leash on the unpaved roads as well as additionally when driving within the outdoor camping websites along with bbq areas. To aid strategy your browse through, see our checklist of points to do in Joshua Tree National Forest. Keys Ranch (Guided Scenic Tour). In a location that number of people would definitely describe as inviting are the remains of Keys Ranch, the previous homestead as well as cattle ranch of William F. Keys, that solved in this area in the 1910s. The household or commercial home, that includes your home, schoolhouse, shop, in addition to workshop, is a National Historic Register Website and also can only be checked out on ranger-led assisted trips. These trips run seasonally throughout the winter season and additionally into springtime. The trips are exceptionally insightful and offer understanding right into Keys, who was quite an individuality, as well as the problems run into by the household as well as resourcefulness required to sustain below. See the park website for details on trip days as well as times. Appointments are called for along with can be made up to 60 days beforehand. The 90-minute trips are made use of at a cost and also involve a half-mile of walking. Keys View It is well worth the drive up to Keys Sight, a hunt element at an altitude of more than 5,000 feet, with sweeping sights prolonging out over the Coachella Valley. Distant, you can see the San Andreas geological mistake, Hand Springs, the Salton Sea, and on a clear day, past to Mexico. If the air is clear, the view is outstanding and also this is a wonderful method to obtain oriented with the bordering geography. As you increase below, the elevation alterations, the temperature is noticeably cooler, and the landscape tackles an entire various personality. Barker Dam Nature Course One more brief strolling path, Barker Dam is a 1.3-mile loop path. If you are simply wanting to do one short route in Joshua Tree, this is your best option, with big Joshua trees, rocks, and also an area of water that typically brings in birds. At the back of the loophole are the residues of a water storage tank left by livestock herdsmans who as soon as lived in the area. Lots of individuals stroll in to this point and likewise turn around, leaving by the very same route, however this is a mistake. While this could be rather much shorter, it is well worth proceeding, with much of the greatest landscapes and likewise largest trees on the loophole past the dam. Hidden Valley Nature Trail & Day Usage Location The Hidden Valley area of Joshua is just among one of the most gorgeous in addition to quickly obtainable areas of the park. It's finest if you are seeking to do a quick stroll or simply stroll among the trees and also rock formations. The Hidden Valley Nature Course is a delightful one-mile loophole trail that enters via an opening right into a huge dish bordered by rock walls. It's thought that as a result of the area, Hidden Valley was when utilized by cattle rustlers, that would certainly herd the livestock right into this place to hide them. This is a relatively basic as well as also stunning path, making it among one of the most popular strollings in Joshua Tree National Forest. It does not have lots of Joshua trees. Of note on this route is the significant column called the Great Burrito, a popular climbing area in the park. The Hidden Valley barbeque location, on the contrary side of the parking lot from the trailhead, is a whole lot extra attractive, with a wide range of large Joshua trees scattered around huge rocks and rock loads. This is a fantastic place to appreciate a getaway and meander about. From the last barbecue location at the west end, a very quick simple course leads out in addition to around to the back side of the stand of rocks, opening into a heaven of rocks as well as trees, ideal for digital photography. Exterior camping For campers, Joshua Tree is a genuine benefit. Exterior camping among the Joshua trees, bordered by unusual rock growths, the experience here is various than your basic camping trip. Numerous of Joshua Tree's amazing outdoor camping websites are embeded in hassle-free places for uncovering the park. Each of these has its actual own appearance, yet every one of them deserve spending a night or even more under a star-filled skies. The suitable time to camp right here stays in springtime and fall: March, April, October, and November. Nights are fashionable, but days commonly have a tendency to be brilliant and also cozy. This is not jumbo Recreational Vehicle exterior camping: the camping areas are reasonably small and likewise greatly indicated for camping tent outdoor camping, Mobile home under 25 feet, or smaller sized pop-up-style camp trailers. Among the best camping locations is Hidden Valley Outdoor camping Site, yet it is a first-come, first-served location. If you desire the safety of having a consultation prior to you get here, the best selection is Jumbo Rocks. Both of these are close to all the main things to see and also do. 5. Cholla Cactus Yard For nature lovers, the Cholla Cactus Yard is perhaps among one of the most unbelievable websites in the park, with more than a thousand densely packed chollas prolonging throughout the desert floor covering. While chollas are typically sprinkled to name a few plants in the desert, below they are the only cactuses in this natural yard. In the morning light or late mid-day sun, the backlit needles virtually luster, and also the hills in the distance supply the outstanding history. An extremely simple, degree strolling path takes you by means of this wonderful place. The Cholla Cactus Yard is on the highway to Cottonwood Springtime, past Belle as well as White Storage tank camping sites. Farther along this roadway, heading towards Cottonwood, is the Ocotillo Spot, however there are just a small number of these plants at this pullout location. If you plan on leaving the park on this road, there is no need to quit right here since there are plenty more Ocotillos better on, past Cottonwood, heading to Interstate 10. Head Rock Perhaps no location else in the park is the virtually comics landscape additional finely detailed than at Skull Rock. You could see faces as well as photos in the rock developments that manage the park, but at Head Rock it takes extremely little innovative creativity to see the head kind peering out of the boulder-strewn rubble. This substantial, generally shaped rock is located right alongside the roadway, as well as additionally it constantly draws in a group. The entire place around this roadside quit is fascinating, with an expanse of rolling rock lots, great for strolling or light rushing. Residues of tracks go through the area, nevertheless several people just stray about, uncovering optimals for lookouts, sunning themselves on the pieces of rock, or simply stopping briefly. Nearby is a 1.7-mile walking trail via rocks and also shrubby plant with a couple of Joshua trees spread out around. Rock Climbing and additionally Bouldering Climbing up in addition to bouldering are several of among the most preferred amusement activities in the park, as well as likewise one consider the landscape will definitely inform you why. Joshua Tree has someplace in the community of 8,000 climbing training courses as well as also countless going up advancements. Information pamphlets as well as maps are offered at the site visitor facilities. Mountain climbers consistent Joshua Tree National forest, especially throughout the winter season when the excellent going up locations in addition north, like Yosemite, are out of season. Hill mountain climbers often has a tendency to congregate in many areas, however the Hidden Valley location as well as various other nearby websites at the west end of the park are the main hot spots. Consequently, camping areas at this end of the park commonly have a tendency to be full typically throughout the wintertime, especially in February and March, when climbers as well as likewise leisure campers are vying for spots. Ryan Hillside Walking From Park Blvd, the raise Ryan Hill looks a little challenging as well as moderately unimpressive, yet this stroll is every little thing regarding the benefit from the top, where the views increase 360 degrees out over the park. This is a moderately hard, three-mile up-and-down walking, with 1,000 feet of altitude gain. The revealed path materials little to no shade and also is much less than interesting as it follows a barren hill around the top, yet from the top, at 5,457 feet, the sight is terrific, making the initiative satisfying.

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